St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-01-01
Squibs.

Squibs.
No unfortunate trader looks so down
i'll the mouth us Il dentist.
Annie Howe, who elopcd with her
lover in Montreal the other day. WAS
bound to get married Annie-IOwe.
They now say that Bozarris didn't
''cheer his band" at all, but hid in a
corn field us soon us the fight began.
Don't try to he too smart. 4 man
Qately diseased) in CamiIlus, n. y.
put Il second cartridge into his cannon
before the first one had exploded.
Teacher Peter, you are such a
bad boy that you are not fit to sit in
bench. Come up here and sit with me.
sir"
The reason why Sylvanus Cobb. Jr..
confines himself to writing for the peri
odicleS Is becaIlse the legitimate fimc-
ton of IL Cobb is to produce cereal.
A South Carolina jury is in doubt
whether recently married suicide
died of too few connubial fclicities or
too many con-iugal facilities.
"Otl she goes" said lady. "You
have mistaken the gender" said Il
gentleman, this is the mail-traill.'
The man who sang. go. breathe no
more that simple air." went into the
smoking ear, where it was more mixed.
In Thompson'> Gazetteer is the fol-
lowing erratum "For Dutchman read
DIR. Adams. This is almost equal to
the well known correction. For dunn
squizzlc read permanent In ii Hart
ratum For Alum Water read Alma
Mater" ,
Gentleman (who has stepped on hrr
dreSs)-A thousand pardons, madam.
Lady (pleaSantly) -lt'S of no conse-
quence. sir. What she said of him.
"Awkward, stupid fellow. My gathers
are all torn out, and I've got to 90
home. What he said to himself. Con
t"undcdly ridiculous fashion. these
trains i'll the street Make Il man
look like Il fool, cutting up such caperS
with them"
As my wife ut the window one beau
tlful day. stood watching il man with II
monkey. il cart came alon" with Il broth
of boy, who was drivin" Il stout little
donkey. To my wife then | spoke, 10y
WAY of Il joke. "''Thcrr's Il relation of
N"uIS iii that carriage" To which she
replied. when the donkey she spicd.
".\h. YES, i relation 10y marriage"
How liz Cor \ SEAr.-Thc other
morning. il nice Young man got into IL
car on the DaItom shore line railroad.
and SIM t" his delight the only vacant
seat III the coach was 10y the side of Il
Young lady acquaintance. He reached
Tor that seat with JOYOUS strides. and
hcr eyes answered his delighted looks.
iut luSt a> he got there. an elderly par
~ from the other end az the ear waltzrl
up the aisle and dropped int" the coy
ctcd seal. The Young man approached
more slowly and acro>tcd the Young
lady. "ll"w is Nour bother ," he ask
ed. is he able To get ont >" "Oh.
YES. she said. "Will he he. very hadl,
marked ,, h, continued and the old
gentleman gIcN suddenly Interested.
''Oh. NO. said the fair ,lcc,iNcr. with
the exception OF Il few small pits ON his
t"lrh"ad. You would never know he had
ever had IT. ''NcTc Nuu not afraid OF
/ taking II the Young man went on.
while the old gentleman broke ont in
cold prl>piration. Not at all" she re
piled: Il had been Naccimat,d. Won
know. The seat WAS vacated instant
ly. two Young hearts beat a> half Il dol-
en-. and the prattlc of nice talk" StIcw
ed that part of the ear. while Il gray
haired old man >cowlcd upon them
from the hard accommodation of til,
MpnI bn\