Litchfield enquirer., 1875-10-28
CLIPPINGS.

right in an orchestra ssg [
 Either trouble or happiness borrowed from the future is apt to prove fallacious.
 What is the best. thing to hold when you get out of temper? Your tongue.
 At Memphis, the other day, Beechel sold for SIT, Tilton brought S13. and Mrs Triton brought only S5. They were '.wa1 1ggers. s.-sts DJ IC
 Just as soon as one of those St. Louis editors owned up that he meant to shoot oyer. the other acknowledged that he fired at stump. E#(
 Wendell Phillips speaks of the Vene- tians using paper money. Doubtless Othello had just received his pay in that currency wben he exclaimed; "He who steals my purse steals trash!"
 Mr- Wylie. the noted checker player has finished trial of his powers at Rut land, Vt, where he won one hundred and nfty-seven games and lost only one Twenty-four games were drawn.
 A Greenbnsh man announces that hs has an old and reliable bunion which ht IS desirous to exchange for more moderr sort of barometer that will not get so ex cited at every little shower that comes up
 When boy is ordered against his vii to take the coal scuttle down stairs and i'll it. 1t is astonishing the number of ar ticles he will accidentally hit that scuttle against before getting back.
 The proper behaved little girl who is afraid she has mt quite got her lesson, may be seen on these glorious autumn days going to school with gigantic red apple in her hand, for the teacher.
 Anna Connett. pretty girl over in New Jersey. was acquitted of the charge of burglary, whereupon she threw her arms around the Judges neck and kissed him. And now all the married lawyers around Plainheld are candidates for the judge- ship. = The announcement that ex Senator Ross, of Kansas. has been promoted from the position of foreman to that of assist ent editor of Lawrence Journal. is grati- flying evidence that there's chance for reform for everybody in this world, even for retired Congressmen. s'- A Georgia judge has decided that it is just as bad to steal an umbrella as it is to steal an elephant. Hardly. A man can ges along without an umbrella, but when the storm is at its height the loss of his elephant would paralyze his every ener- e.
 A French scientist has invented A new fish bait. A bottle is lowered into the water and lighted by electricity, and the fish are to follow it into a net. But this Is method already employed in the open air over in New Jersey. One or two bot ties filled with Jersey lightning will draw whole primary meeting.
 Bells Life tells of an extraordinary hand at whist. ''T. M. and three friends were playing whist on Tuesday evening. Dur ing the third game T. M.'s partner dealt and turned mp the ace of spades. On looking at his hand he found the whole of the same suit. I. NJ. says that he has seen whist played for more than fifty years but never remembers such circumstance happening before" F#
 An irreverent correspondent of the West6eld (Arass. Times.who went to the Great Harrington cattle show, says he was never so impressed with sense of ''the eternal fitness of things" as when. after the Rev. Mir. Smith of Otis had won the spoons, in trotting race, the band gave with particular emphasis the melody of that popular hymn, Nearer my God t0 Thee" E n .
 G. W. Childs is writing for the Wash Ington Republican now-at least we find this in that paper:
 While smoking on the powder-keg,
 He dropped cinder down;
 Then he rose like Q meteor,
 To wear the golden crown.
 Gone to meet a fellow who struck a glycerine can with sledge-hammer.
 Thomas Carlyle loses nothing of his raspiness of manners in his old age. He recently dined with neighbor, and was so annoyed at the table by a loauacious busybody, who discoursed on art, that he refused to enter into conversation, and at the end of the dinner suddenly said to his host: ''for Heavens sake, put me in n room by myself, and give me pipe"
 The new Colorado Senate is composed of eleven Democrats and two Republicans and the House ofeighteen Democrats and two Republicans. The relation of these facts to the choice of United States sena- tors is likely to lead to the indefinite post ponement of the admission of the territo- Ey as state, which was one of the strong est of probabilities had the Republicsn ascendancy in the territory and in Con. gress been maintained.
 A colored man, who was lately resusci. tated from what seemed death, but vas only catalepsy. was entertaining his friends with the sights be beheld in the other world. Plenty of colored bredren in Heaven. I spec, Tom" ''Oh, yes!' said Tom. "And how about hell-any down thereg" asked another interlocutor. ssOh whiAe folks, Tom?" 'sLord save ua. der aint no end on 'em, but, by gosh. massa ebery white man done got nigger holdin' between him and de fireI' VT
 At the close of recent speech by mil. itary inhationist before an audience com. posed mostly of New England agricultu- rists. one of them, stepping before the platform. said: General, we Yankees up here are in the habit of taking . practical view of things, and this one thing we con. 1ess our inability to comprehend. We can't zee how, by adding two gallons Of water to gallon of milk, there wiu be any more cheese in il"
 A farmer, who lives about five miles west of Fairbault, Minn., named Samue] SOnnsO1s Was &Ol0g along ehe road lately when suddenly little Whirlwind. which described circle apparently not more than three feet in diameter. appeared in the road in front of him. It took up the dust pretty lively. and buzzed like ! swarm of bees. but Mr. Iohnspn kept on his way directly toward 1t, thinking it had no great amount of power. In fact he did not think it worth his while to ster 0ne side and let it whirl past, but kepi straight on and met it square in the road When they came together the whirlwind seemed to drop everything else and tool hold of Mr. Johnson, and in less time than it takes to tell it. Mir. Johnson had Lost his coat and his shirt, ,and was pitched about twenty feet into the gutter, feeling e though he had been shocked by c bat. terY. Mr. Johnson will never fool with 6 whirlwind again.