Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1875-08-05
Vol. XXI. Whole No. l07l. No.3l.

you must reason. 1t isn't likely that
would come into an ice-cream parlor to
buy grindstone, is it? You didn't think
| came In here to ask II you had any baled
hay, did your"
She looked at him in great surprise, and
he went on.
eff owned a hardware store and YOU
came in, would infer that you came for
something In my line. wouldn't step out
and ask II you wanted to buy mule, would
Ir'
She went away highly indignant. An
old lady was devouring dish OF cream At
the next table, and the stranger after
watching her for . moment, called out.
| MY dear women, have you found anv
hairs or buttons In your dishg'
"Mercy! mo-" she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
"Well, I'm glad Of it, he continued. sIf
you find any just let me know"
She looked at him for half q minute.
picked up the spoon. laid it down again
and then rose up and left the room. She
must have said something to the proprietor
for he came running In and exclaimed:
"Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice-creamY'
mo. SIR"
"You ddntT'
''No, sir, did not; I merely requested
her,in case she found any such ingredients
to inform me-"
well. sir, that was a mean trick"
my dear sir said the stranger, smil.
ing softly, did you expect me to ask the
woman II she had found q crow-bar or a
sledge-hammer in her cream? 1t IL impos-
sible, sir, for such articles to be hidden
away In such small dishes.''
The proprietor went away growing and
as the stranger quietly supped away at his
cream, two young ladies came in sat down
near him, and ordered some cream and
cakes. lie waited until they had eaten a
little and then he remarked:
beg pardon, ladies, but do you observe
anything peculiar in the taste of this
cream"
They tasted, smacked there Iips, and
were not certain
Does it taste to you as If plug of to-
bacco had fallen into the freezerY' he
asked.
"Ah. kah :" they exclaimed. dronping
their spoons and trying to spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and it
wasn't long before the proprietor rushed
in.
See here, what i'll blazes Grc you talk
ing about?" he demanded. What do YOU
mean by plug tobacco In the freezer?"
My kind friend, asked the ladies' if
this cream tasted OF plug tobacco. don't
taste any such taste, and | don't believe
you used bit Of tobacco in il.
Well, you don't want to talk that way
around here continued the proprietor.
My ice-cream is pure. and the man who
says 1t isn't,is a bold liar,
lie went away again, and a woman with
a long neck and a sad face sat down and
said to the girl that she would take a small
dish of lemon ice.
II was brought, and she had taken about
two mouthfuls when the stranger in
qured:
Excuse me, madam, but do YOU know
how this cream was made-have you sny
idei. that they grated turuip and chalk
with the cream?"
She didn't reply. She slowly rose UP,
wheeled around. and made for the door.
an Instant too soon ID DE 81 rcN' ,Iy' -nreat
pound box OF figs, hurled with great force
by the lndiguan, proprietor. As he reached
the curb :stone he halted, looked at the
door OF the parlor, and soliloquised:
There are times when people should in
fer, and are there times when they shouldn't.
| suppose If had asked that woman If she
thought thev hashed up a saw-mill in the
cream she'd have felt a circular saw going
down her throat Detroit Free Press.