Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-05-06
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

LIE euu vi every tnlng-Ine leIter
BOYS see their palmy days when they
arrive at spanking age.
IT takes only two seconds to arrange a
duel.
BosToN complains of stagnation in her
business blood
A JAPANESE variety of the persimmon
has been introduced into California.
THEY have an Amalgamated Tailors
Society in England. What is an ANAL
gamated tailor?
Iris said that Digger Indians are never
known to smile. They are grave Dig.
gers.
MAINE claims to have been the first
State to allow women to solemnize mar
riages.
THE man who courted an investigation
says it isn't so good as an affectionate
girl.
NEVER spend any time musing on the
meanness of an enemy. Better use it
thinking of the virtues of your friends.
WHEN cold acquaintance suddenly
changes and becomes kind, look out for
him-he expects pay for it.
The HEIGHT OF ANTICIPATION--Ad dentist
sitting in his own chair all day and grin
ming at the candyshop over the way.
WHY are the fond chances mother
casts upon her baby like Turkish caval-
ry? Because they are mammy-looks
(Mamelukes).
The hunt for Charlie Ross still con-
does not feel pang of sympathy for the
poor lads parents, and the recovery of
the boy would be gladly hailed by every
household in America.
WHEN the Lebanon (Ky.) Standard
takes hold of metaphor there is some
desperate wrestling. Of the recent cold
snapit remarks: "Jack Frost gave us a
parting and, we fear fatal, kick in the
short ribs, nipping us in the bud, so to
speak"
A HALF century ago an old gentleman
in Southern Massachusetts caused every
single with which he covered his roof
to be first dipped in boiling whale oil.
The other day his grandchildren replaced
the shingles on the old mansion for the
first time, and found many of them in a
perfect state Of preservation.
THE young and progressive live in the
future; the aged and retrogressive in the
past. Hope inspires the former; memory
is dear to the latter. Most men run half
the race of life, then, turning, walk back
to the starting place-childhood Few
are the noble souls that press on to the
end.
A STORY is told of woman in Provi-
dence who, having secured good place
to see the st. Patrick procession, report
ed to policeman that she had lost her
child and earnestly asked him to find it
for her, as she did not dare to go in
search of it, for if she did she would
close her place"
"Do YOU know that only two out of
every 100 who come to Chicago to try
their fortunes succeed?" said Old Realist
to brawny youth applying at his bank
for something to do, the other day.
"That may be, sir" replied the lad, but
I'll be one of the two" That boy will
get along.
"SHALL women" exclaimed Lucy
Stone in public lecture at Providence,
the other day, "leave their children at
home and neglect them while they go to
vote?" Just at this point little infant
that had been quietly sleeping in it's
mothers arms awoke and, in protest to
some motherly correction, cried out lusti-
ly: "No-o-ow
THE Lawrence (Kan.) street railroad
has been sold at Sheriff's sale, and at a
low figure. One party bought the track,
righG of way and franchise, and the equip
ment was divided among several parties.
1t will probably require the formation of
new company to get the fragments of
property together again and put the road
into operation.
A Boston lady, while in Paris two
years ago, sent letter to her sweet
heart, a ship Captain, addressing it to
ST. Helena. 1t missed the wanderer, and
followed him about the world, finally re-
turning to Paris, where the Captains
banker forwarded it to Boston. It
reached him one evening as he was
bouncing a six-weeksold baby on his
knee, he having married the writer of
the letter q wear 400
A YOUNG man who had been discharged
from employment in a Boston railroad
office applied to be reinstated the other
day, and was told that his request would
be granted if he would get married. The
officials Immediately forgot the matter,
but the young man soon returned with a
girl. A Justice of the Peace united them
on the spot and he was restored to his
position.
THEY have new wrinkle in Boston
for making chickens out Of old hens
that is, by breaking the breast bone
about one and one-half inches from the
point where a person feels for it. 1t
looked aS If If h n bpen done with lon o.