The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-03-11
Johnny's Narrow Escape.

Johnny was anxious to get through din
ner in hurry, yesterday. There had been
business meeting of several boys of that
neighborhood in the morning, and 1t was
the sense of that meeting that the after
noon should be set aside TO riding and tor
menting an unfortunate donkey that they
had staked out in the meZquis bushes.
AS Johnny entertained apprehenslons
that his mother contemplated keeping him
at home to clean up the yard, he made his
mouth do the work of six.
There was a subdued silence at the table,
nothing being heard except the sound OF
JOhnnys grabbing. Suddenly, however,
there came DER the tablet of Johnny's
thoughts an expression that became not
the board of revelry and feasting. He
craned out his neck, as If he had some
thing of Importance to communicate, but
was prevented by circumstances over
which he had no control. There was an
embarrassment that was painful to behold,
even at long distance. He did not say
much, but looked as ii he would have
mortgaged his immortal soul for any
thing like chance.
AS soon as Fizzletop caught sight of
that boys face, he reminded him that if he
didn't quit making faces at the table, he
would be apt to regret it as soon as the
frugal meal was concluded, but Mrs. Fiz-
zletop sprang to her feet and rushed at
Johnny like an Infatuated avalanche,
screaming: "THE BOY IS CHOKING ~
FizZletop rushed to the rescue, overturn-
ing the table in his anxiety TO get there
first, while Johnny thought of his many
sins. and endeavored to make his escape.
my God, what shall / dO?" whoOped
the a9OniZed mother, as Johnny rolled up
his ewes like a lover on the stage, at the
same time running her finger down his
throat and dredging up enough sweet
potatoes and gravy to last small family
during the winter. In the meantime, to
prove his love and affection. FiZZletop
planted his fist between Johnny's shout
der-blades with sufficient force to loosen
all the Joints in his spinal column, and
which might have jolted cow.
Johnny, however, still continued to suf-
fer on the ragged edge of anxiety.
"OHi MERCIFUL HEAVENS" yelled Mrs.
Fizzletop, as she Owed in again and
brought cut a few chunks of beef steak
and other debris, while Johnny's face be-
gan to resemble the blue beef of the Con-
federacy. Just then Mrs. FiZZletop re-
membered to have read in the San Anto-
mic Weekly Herald terms S2.75, specie,
in advance) that the proper way to do I'M
der such circumstances. was to make the
sufferer get down on all tours and cough.
So she ierked Johnny down by his hair.
while Fizzletop seized a long handled
children's wagon, and boarded Johnny
a-stern as if he was a canal boat.
The hired girl felt she was not earning
her wages, so she seized the water pitch.
er, poured the contents on Johnny's neck,
and then started on gallop to fetch the
tea kettle, yelling ''FIRE!'' at every jump.
Long before the wagon was used up,
the chunk of steak was dislodged, and
Johnny was saved, but his relations kept
on as if they feared another attack.
A man passing on the street, had wit
messed the murderous attack on the boy,
but he did not return with a policeman
until it was all over.
As Johnny was a little feverish and
complained of a sore throat, he was put in
his little bed with a poultice on the place
that had suffered most.
Never again in the history of this coun-
try will Johnny hide away piece of steak
without studying its dimensions.
AS for the donkey matinee, it was post
poned indefnitely.-San antonio Herald.