Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1875-12-17
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has been skipping after that life in
snrance agent again, and met him. &C
old entity, while he was hanging on {
Eold Pitman. But we'll let Max tai
q little, az he knows how to do Il.
MY life insurance agent, BENJAMIN
Z: Quinn, says Max, TO whom L hav
alluded at length In my book, 10 still
canvassing actively for bis company
A day or two ago he dropped ir to per
suade Mr.. Pittman to take out a poll
cy. and the following conversation
ensued n.....s s-r
Gunn-s'I called" '.s Fz* 'ss -
Pittman.-''Oa get out | I don
want to be bored about life insurance
Gunn.-'1 just dropped in to BE,
if
Pitman-T know you did, and
don't want any. You can't 1nsur.
me-" .aa --
"Gunn. IF you will permit m.
merely TO ex--' ,e.....
Pi.man --"But permit you. Skip
This is the sixteenth time you've
tackled me; and I'm sick of it.
amt a-going to insure my life. That's
settled"
! Guun.-'.You misunderstood me-
Judge. I called to ascertain if you
are mem Der of the Peace Society,""
Pitman, Il am"
''(iunn. II thought so And OF
course you are willing to help along
ally scheme which will put an end to
war and murder"
Pitman. -"Certainly."
Quinn Well then just listen to
me. I am acting in beh alt of your
society. 1 have on hand a magnif-
cent plan for producing permanent
peace on earth and making armies
useless. Why did Gain kill Abel ?"
Pitman-'I Dunno"
Gunn-''Because he had no particu-
lar interest in keeping him alive.
That's the reason. Why did David
bang Goliah; why did the Romans
butcher the Carthagenians; why did
the Modocs kill General Caaby; why
did old what's his-name burn Ridley
and Lstimer at the stake ?"
Pitman-"Hanged if I know ;,
Gnnn-"Why, because it wasn't
money in the pockets of any of those
fellows to have the other chaps walk
ing around enjoying life. DO you sup
pose Brutus would stabbed Caesar if
Caesars death would a kept Brutus
hard upfor market money? Not much
he wouldn't. Do you believe Wise
would a hung old John Brown if Johns
death would forced Wise to borrow
money to buy boots p
Pitman-''Maybeh he wouldn't"
Gunn-"Well. then. look here. Sup
pose you was policy holder in Mu-
Life Insurance Company, wouidn's
it reduce your dividends if you was to
kill another, and would't you do your
terrific best to keep that member allve?"
Pltman-''StrIkes me WOULD.
Gum" Vow, what l am aiming at
is to gather the entire civilized earth
the whole family-into our company,
SOS that all hands will be perfectly
wild to, keep everybody else alive.
When this is dot.e you can beat your
swords into spears, and your piow-
shares into pruning hooks, for there
will be no more war. Don't You sea?
I'm not working for a paltry commits
sion or two. 1t is q labor Of love.
I'm trying to elevate the race aud pro-
mote Christian civilization"
I'itman-sIt never struck me that
way, H.. ....
Gum Anyhow, it is SO. And ask
you as a member of the Peace Society,
to enroll your name among those who
are carrying on the great work. Terms
as low as any other company, and div
idends payable seml-annually. I'm
born generations will rise up and cali
you blessed. We make our policies
payable at any age, or will put in the
Iontine; and you'll dry the Widows
tears, and hush the cry of the orphan.
10 in for five thousand policy, AMI
assure you that the glad hosarnahs of
the white ROBBED angel of Peace once
more will resound from the vault Of
heaven, and owe the smiling earth the
songs of love will still the olangor of
the war-horse and the hoon o. cannon,
aud man once more will know the
felicity of Paradise. Lsmme see; how
old are you
Pitman-FI am forty-four in Febru
airy. Put me down for five thousand.
payable at sixty years of age. Gall IN
the morning, with the papers, and I'll
sign en-" >z-- .-.... ....
Gunn-"Good day. I'm off. I've
got an engagement with Cooley at
eleven, and m ANXIOUS tc keep it.
1 We hunted him tor two years now,
and he has succumbed."