The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1875-07-17
NUMBER Is.
LAUGHING GAS.

LAUGHING GAS.
Matchless maid-the kitchen gifl
out Of lucifers.
If you don't bride your tongue,
saddle be your fate. :
What is the form of an escaped par-
rot :? A pollygone.
A Boston tailor adyertises A.1iaao-
nal boys suits"
At what SEASON did Eve eat the. ap-
pie ?-Early in the fall.
Lo misunderstanding the Indians.
What kind Of robbery is not dan
gerous! A safe robbery Of course.
The duty Of the liour-to take care
Of the minutes and make up the day.
1t is a strange fact that when peo-
pie indulge in high words they use
low language.
Why can not q Temperance man
kiss jewess? He has sworn not tn
taste jew-lips.
Letter go!" as the boy said when
he lamp-posted his letter at the street
corner.
Why is pig the most provident Of
animals 7"-Because lie always car
ries spare-rib or two about him.
A young English lady, residing in
Paris, has received over fifty lasLes.
She was born with them-on her eye
lids.
Strauss composed his first waltz
when seven years OF age, his father
boxing his ears for fooling away Ills
time. -..
Speaking ofrailroads awag remarked
that they are now built Of three gauges,
viz: Broad gauge, narrow gauge aud
mortgage. 49,
What's the difference between the
lower part Of the leg, and the late
comet Ones slim and bone, and the
others been and shone.
4 Pennsylvania ladies' man says he
is never satisfied that his lady friends
understand kiss, unless he has it
from their own mouths.
"I go through my work. as the
needle said to the idle hoy. But
not until you are pushed hard, as the
idle boy said to the needle.
Why is church bell more affable
than !. church organf Because one
will 90 when it is tolled, but the other
will be " bowed n first.
!. A young lady who Ind no time to
spare for making garments for tho
poor has been engaged three weeka
enbrOidering y blanket for her poodle
dog.
A hzy fellow once declared IN pub
Tic company, that 6S could not Mn1f
bread for his family. +" Nor l." replied
an industrious man; "rm obliged to
work for it."
A western editor insists that he
wrote the word troussepu " as plain
as II pikestaff in connection with cer-
tain bridal presents. The printer,
however, vulgarly put it 50 trousers"
A tipsy fellow, who mistook globe
lamp, with letters on it, for the queen
of night, exclaimed: "Well, I'll be
(hic) blest, if somebody hain't stuck
All advertisement on the (hic) moon!"
The difference. between having q
tooth properly drawn by a dentist,
and having it knocked out by o fall
on the pavement is only slight dis
tinction-one is dental and the other
accidental.
A gentleman advertises his willing
ness to exchange a cork leg for a re-
volver. This is the nearest approach
to the old law of retaliation we have
seen for long time. 1t isn't au eye
for an eye-but it's u leg for an arm.
A farmer complains that a hook and
ladder company has been organized
in Ills neighborhood. He states that
the ladder is used after dark for climb
ing into the hen-l,ouse, after which
the hooking is done.
A literary ice-cart driver, who has
been annoyed by children who have
been in the habit Of pilfering his ice,
now displays as q warning: IN. b.
He thinks that they will understand
that that means g Take Not-ice!"
ACalifornia octogenarian had buried
three wives whose maiden names were
Green, Grass ard GrOze. He stirred
up the fire with kerosene the other
day, and now he lies in the cold, cold
grave, and the green grass grows above
him.
\ few days since farmer was tell
ing in our hearing that he lad planted
an acre and half Of potatoes, and he
feared they would he destroyed by
the potato bugs. Are the plants mp
yet asked q bystantler. No." re-
piled the farmer, "but the darned
bugs are sitting on every hill waiting
for them"