The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-05-20
NEWSPAPER SUBSCRIBERS.

We clip the iolloWlng lfolll III tA'hapse
descriptive of the various classes of news
paper subscribers. First come the
UPRIGHTs These are men who take
newspapers, pay for them, and read them
Observe the order in which these things
are done: The pay comes tirst-the read
ing next These men consider they
get the worth OF their money in the bar
gain. It seems as fair and just to them
that the newspaper should be paid for as
n barrel of sugar or new coat. lheY
never entertain any other opinion. When
the wear runs out, OF a little before, they
are on hand with the pay. There is no more
difficulty with them in remembering this
period, than Sunday or the first day OF
January. If ono of them wishes 10 stop
his paper, he either calls or writes letter
by his postmaster, in due season, like
man This class is dear to the heart OF
the editor Their image is embaimed in
. his warm affections. May they live a
thousand years, and sec their sons sons
to the fourth generation. The second
class now in mind is TIE
Do WELLs.-This class is nearly related
to the other-so near that it is hard to
tell where ore begins and the other ends.
These men always pay in advance in the
beginning, and intend to do so continually
But memory fails little, or some mishap
intervencs, and the time runs by-some-
times little-somctimcS quite period.
But their recollection, though nodding
occasionally meyer gets sound asleep. 1t
pronounccs the word in due time 1.-The
printer is not paid" and forthwith their
will to do well kindles into activity
Now comes the paying Meant to
do so before Dent mean TO let such
things pass by" A publisher can live
with such men. They have walm place
in his memory-only Il little back OF the
Uprights. If such Il man dies in arrears,
his wife or son remembers that he might
no, have paid up for his newspaper, and
forthwith institutes inquiries, They re-
member that part eff the benefit was theirs,
ard, estate or no estate, see that the prln
tcr's bills are not among their fathers
unsettled accounts. Next come the
EASY DoERs.-Thcse men believe in
newspapers. They have fnlly settled il
their own minds that newspaper is 8
good thing. Sometimes at the first they
pay up for the first ycar--at any rate
they mean TO, pretty so@n. If they have
done so, they sit down with the comfort
ing conviction that their newspaper is
now settled for; and this idea having
once got into their heads, refuses obsti
nately to be dislodged, but keeps it hold
ing from year to year; Il truth onCc-noV
an illusion gray and rheumatic with years
The editor, marking the elongated ant
elongating space in The accounts curen
of their dollars, begin to ask if they ar
dead or have gone to California. Nov
he begins to poke bills at them. The,
suddenly start up to the reality that the,
are in arrears; and, like men, as they ar,
at the bottom, pay up, They never dis
pute his bills-they know books tell bet
ter stories than moss covered memories
If the publisher has faith enough, or
long purse, and can live like a hiberna
ting bear, he may survive this class
But if he is mortal only, woe be to him
The next class is that of the
Down HILLERs-ITere we begin t.
slide over to the other side The pictur
suddenly gets sombre We shall dispatc
the Down Killers suddenly. One of lhcs
may take a paper because his wife want
one, or the children are jealous to rca
it, or neighbor pcrsuades him. Whe
it begins to come, he dismisses all thought
about it further. If the editor sends
man to him at the end of two or tire
years, he may get some pay for his paper
with growls and surly looks. He neve
pays any debts if he can get rid of it, an,
a newspaper least of all. Still, he hate
lawsuits, constables, and all that. A dun
has the same effect him that bullet ha
on CHANGING from hi
hide, or sinking in the blubber harmless
He is always sliding down HILL and sool
merges into another class, of
THE Nix Cum RousE.-No matter how
this man began his subscription, he neve
pays for it--not he lie don't like tina
sort of paper. 1t don't give news. Ht
never did like it. He didn't want it ir
the first ISlace, and told the postmaster
SO. He sent back one more than veal
ago-besiies he never began to take il
till long time after it cam, and he
hadn't had only two Or three of them, al
any rate, and those he hadn't read Wipe
him off. Here comes
THE SCApEGRACE.-It is enough to say
of him that he never fails to have news
paper-two or three of them When he
thinks they have come about long enougl
for the publisher to want pay, he sends
back with stop it, Or he takes up his
quarters and leaves for parts unknown
He does not want TO pay, and he don't
mean to. Get it if you can
Reader, in which of the above clas ses
are you found?