The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1875-03-19

scIssoIsINas.

a Baltimore man wasadeliveFed q
an address
He was q Warm Spring Indian the
moment ho sat down On hot stoye
The dog who leads the blind man
to the different free lunches y 4 bar-
pilot.
me sentinel who did not sleep On
His watch had left it az the pawn
brokers.
All games Of chance except RIM
ming for office, will b suppressed BY
law d Virginia.
A dressmakerls apprentice speaks
Of her cross-eyed loveras the fellow
whose looks are cut bias
The Spaniards believe lhas JACK
the Giant Killer was areaE pefaonage,
and that he lived in Canada
MARX Twain AVA inc Sandwich I'll
Iandcrs are aencrallv a. unlettered as
the other side Of a tombstone.
.A blind deg, which leads its blind
master safe aboul, is one Of the curl
osilies of Hot Springs, Arkansas.
Iittle Rhody proposes 10 have her
census taken that easy enough
| lei lie people stand up and bc count
al.
Tie lady WHO advertised alccture
On the subject of Moods was dis
ousted at not having the first peraon
present.
o;aaanovanco, II car,;ans apa
kindIv II { not safe 70 fram1lc on
d humble thing as d piece Of Or
apee peel
Thd ,,oa, ,,o,, u MI h;lbords Y -
i, l. ~ I h;al, "I 'hs;r 4 aad pr MAIN remarka
I,0 hSoa,so y : sban von aro snra III Mn
Ihoweyer tho halls nav circulate.
II il noted that all great humorists
4 ira sober and sedate viii, With Il .nelan-
choly cast Of countenance, II is
[rathsr serious business to be funny.
Tbo r,o,alana y1sr,13 stands N
VI tbroo.card mana man Some
folks when they have scraped little
. money together, forget old friends
some peoplo DON'T get enough Of
: themselves. living with themselves
every dav. 90 they keep ionrnal.-
Beeehey. That's not 80 bad as writ
J ing letters.
Another $4,000 cow will never
! more be bothered by blue-bottle flies
fin this world Tho Fourth duchess
Of Oneida has been driven home by
the Angel Of Death
II you should tell Vermont man
that carrying SIX black beans ~ ms
vest pocket wouldn't keep cohlaglons
diseases away, he would setyou down
as one who believed the wofia was
- flat.
4 Said 4 gentleman d his mistress,
ayou arc very handsome.n gPoohln
Y said tho lady; "so yon would say Y
y you did not think so'e "Ana 50 yo4
would think answered ne, "thougls
q should not say 20
ell Eorboorancn isTnot alwavs 4 virtue
Z oyon N clnroyman. Imagine the
II foelinos u tho rSral divinowho, after
J, oettina f1v cents for marrying q
y couple, found that the bridegroom
y had gone of with his new SIR hatF
3 nnbuaue bov vas rather troub-
Il ls5 III faor tbat ia wouldn't know Ills
y rathcr wLan thev both reached heay.
y ~ @ h,It his mother eased Kim by re.
3, marl,,no, VAll you have to do IL 10
y look for an angel with red nose on
him"
!, An lawn iudne named Noble, re-.
Z cop,ly sentenced 4 II .a ID three years
ie 4 Xxx Towo Leoislatare. but The eno-.
e m;tv ~ tho nuIishment dawninq M.
., IN m XIII, commutod Il ID the peniten-
70 tiary eA second Daniel come Il
Il Iindament.n
An Idaho penEleman stripped him.
self hnno hie apparel 81 thc saw.buck,
" ana reiiped on a pile Of cord-wool.
ls IIs mislako was discovered by his
Id wifa who overheard him dnarrelinp
ne WIN an imaginary Old woman about
I'll thcre not boinq cover enough on the
le led.
I wonId.be school teacher In Tole.
lq s do recently replied 70 i question b,
y e@ne @ II tho examiners: aDo you thinI
~ gT tho ,yorId 4 round ~ flatgr ~ say
oy ;no ;no wal some neople think ~,
~, a.,a,t,a,. ond M ,aonl
GO ,hcy KY ~, ronnd or aat iust as the parent
q q rIoasc vlea's ! s'
II u e,, n,...
r. has faycod nm husband and thrc
W. arown III sons n take boaad HI
sSa;cbbor,s ii she dnls Il lmpoasibI
ia y ~ s,,aro ,imo for hopsework whil