The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1875-07-22

assassinator, you distilled sleeper let me
go this minute. Murder! thieves
watch policep
She wrenched herself free in frantic
effort to reach the stairs, and the impetus
carried her fairly over the first ep.
For moment she wavered on the edre,
her arms flung wildly about in the a
tempt to regain her balance, and then
over she went, accompanying each revO-
luton with most ear-splitting shrek,
while the two men, with burst of
mingled CONSERVATION and merriment,
precipitated themselves after her, in
however, q somewhat more orthodox
fashion. Just as they reached the hal
and the landlady had succeeded in
picking herself up, the street door was
burst open, and policeman's astOnished
one hand, her face covered with perspira.
tion and dust, and giving vent to shrek
after shrek with as much persistence
and rapidity as her breath would allow;
and the consprators on the other, scarce
able to stand in their excess of merri-
ment, holding their hands to their sides,
convulsed with paroxysms of laughter.
"What is the matter here 2" demanded
the public guardian.
"Arrest those two villains right away"
Mrs. Benson stammered.
ARREST 'em ?" as Brown and Moore
went off into another convulsion.
"What for"
"What for?' screamed the landlady
ga nit e reliable set you police are, to be
sure Here they've murdered somebody,
and carried off that girl the papers are
advertising for, with lot of money, and
oh, dear !"-wr'nging her hands
"they was going to attack me, a lone
widow woman, and distill me 10 sleep,
and take away my hard earnings, and
girl !" and her over-wrOught imagination
found vent to burst of tears.
"What does she mean, anyhow
asked the officer, evidently mystified.
"Just wait till get my breath %
choked Moore, with fresh burst of
laughter.
"Distill her to sleep! Oh, hold mew
exploded his friend, Historically.
Amt you goin' to arrest them t,fore
they murder me?' demanded Mrs.
Benson.
"Just hold on till l hear their s',ry,"
rcplied the officer, grinnirg; "come,
WHAT'S the row, anyhow" He turned
to Brown.
"Well, step in here and sit down; I'll
make it all clear in two minutes. Just
hand me that roll, Moore" He stepped
toward the sitting-room.
"No you don'tp shrieked Mrs. Ben
son; "m my bank books in there, and /
won't be robbed before my own eyes
Stay where you are!"
Controlling his risibilities, Brown
held the opened roll toward the officer.
eth solves the myst cry. My friend,
Mr.. Moore, has lately become attached
to the staff of local paper, and is at
present engaged ona thrilling romance
TOR its columns. He has brought install
ments to me for my criticism, and my
landlady was to figure as one of the
characters. That is the extent of our
villainy."
"But what frightened her so ?'' asked
the perplexed officer.
"Eavcsdropping, of course There's
an empty room next to mine, with a
closet in it, and we were talking over the
matter. We came out into the entry at
the same tine and ran against her in the
dark. My friend caught hold of her, but
she pulled away, and being right by the
stairs, the rest can be summed up in a
few words-thumpety-bump, shrieks,
CATERS, petticoats-all in an indiscrimi-
nate mixture! Oh, what fall was
there, my countrymen" and the conspir-
ators broke once more into n peal of
merriment, in which they were heartily
joined by the policeman.
Something had suddenly enlightened
the landlady's mind, and she came for
ward quite beaming.
"Oi ! is that it? Are you a story
paper man 2"
Precisely, madam !" responded Moore
with bow "and / intended to ask If
you could accommodate me with lodg-
ings. I'll pay whatever Mr.. Brown
does"
"Oh, certainly ccrtainlyw cried the
delighted widow; so long as you aint
"Quite such villain, ell +? And you
shall have complimentary copies of all
my productions"
"Well, since there amt nobody to ar
rest, I'll bid you good morning." re.
marked the policeman, in lofty defiance
Of modern syntax and he bowed him
self out, while Mrs. Benson, leading the
way herself to the sitting-room, invited
her guests in to "rest a Dit," and COM
plete all needful arrangements.
Mr. Moore came next day. The widows
handbook remained undisturbed and
her savings" gained monthly. Messrs
Moore and Brown are two of the bright
est stars on the staff of the Thunderr,
and, the mystery solved, Mrs. Benson
has never had another temptation to
eavesdropping, and stoutly maintains
that she always did, and always will,
think her dodgers "the two very incest,
cleverest folks in the whole ctyp