The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1875-07-01

"Oh, mother OF Moses ~ cried thI
old man, spinning around on one leg
'sbut you are such q street. speller-
you are. You ought TO have a con
tract fer polishing up members o
Congress on orthography."
"Mr. McWOrter, would try tC
have a little dignity in my OWL
house." returned his wife, placing hel
arms most severely akimbO. "Even
if you didn't have many advantages
/ in early life, [ should think that keep
ing company with respectable people
would have made some improvement
in your manners"
"MaIners be switched ~ cried Nc
Worter. MAYBE / ain't got many
manners but know how to spell a
plain, straight word. In my opinion
the Compulsory Education law ought
TO be applied to all of you"
There is no saying how far the quar-
rel might have gone, but just then q
spruee-looking young man was shown
in and he presented Mr.. McWorter
with gas bill. This little matter
having been settled the nobby collect
or was about to depart when Charley
remarked "Perhaps this gentlemen
can decide the matter"
"What matter ?'' queried the
stranger.
ave are disagreed about the SPELL
ing of the word separate" said Char
ley.
HI amt on the SPELL p said the man
passing out. ''LOok in. the dictiOn-
ary.n a
Mrs. McWorter. "You might have
done that long ago. But you'll find
it just as spelled it, for Sepperet is
sepperet, any way you twist it. and
all the world over" Get out, old
woman, you don't know the first
principles of spellin,' cried Mr. Nc
Worter; but bring out the book An
ME. Well see what Mr.. Webster has
to say, although I'd bet forty shares
of New York Central against six of
Kansas Pacific that he's got it just
like 1 had it."
The still angry disputants now
gathered around the center-table,
while Charley turned the leaves of the
big dictionary. AT last his fOrefinger
fingered for few moments at GER
tain point. Then he said, briskly, as
he began to pull on his gloves
"Well, ] must be going. pve got to
stop in at Stewards and get Matilda
parasol, and then I've got"
'But hold on, young man, cried
Mr.. MeWOrter; saint you going to
find that word ?''
"Oh !" SAID Charley, moving to-
ward the door, "it's matter of slight
Importance. Pm obliged to be in
Brook
"Never do you mind about Brook
lyn," yelled old McWorter, rising and
placing his back against the door !;
"Annie Eliza McWOrter, do you look
that word up and spell it out Since
pve seen the way things is working
I'd bet 200 shares of Western Union TO
six of Wabash that I'm right"
Annie now ran her finger down the
open page until it stopped as CharIey's
had done.
"WelI," said Mr.. MeWorter, inn
patiently, saint right ?"
"No, sir, you amt right" replied
Annie.
'sThe ding jeremiah ANTI Who
the mischief IS right ?"
"None of us is right" was the meek
reply.
HLem-me-see," exclaimed the old
man, rushing up to the book and ad-
justlng his glasses. ''I don't believe
any OF you can spell q word when
you are looking at it."
The examination was brief And
then Mr.. McWOrter Strengthened
himself up and refleetively muttered
as he wiped his eyeglasses "S-e-p-
a-r-a-t-e, separate"
''Old wonan,'' said he, "yoa have
my forgiveness. There's new kinks
in spellin' as well as everything else.
Who would have thought they could
twisted sepperTdte into separate (?
It's all them cussed, internal, Jim
crack, French notions. They are a
creeping intew everything. A man
can't get q little pork and beans
downtown nowadays without asking
for ally nloddy de poka aOoka or some
such lingo"
Mr.. McWorter walked out musinRly
and, Mrs. McWorter having soon fol-
lowed him, the two young people
were again left together.
Annie was on one end of the sofa
and Charley was by the piano taking
off his overcoat. He walked to and
fro awhile and then he took q seat on
the other end of the sofa. AS soon as
he sat down Arnie turned her back
toward him and looking out of the
window, kicked over q foOtstOol.
annie" said he, slowly edging up
toward her, 1--WE are all liable to be
mistaken some time"
eyes," said she, "and some people
are liable to be fools all the time"
ANNIE" continued the young
man, laying his hand very gently on
her shoulder, ST won't do so any
more"
'T thought you had such important
business in Brooklyn"
"Oh! hang Brooklynl Annie, let's
make upp' he said softly, as he slip
ped his arm around her.
About ten minutes later Mr.. Nc
abruptly for his cane We need not
say wEat he saw, out at all events he
looked considerably amazed.
"Oho you vagabonds," he cried I;
'you are awful mad, amt you
How can you bear each others
company? Ali yesI You know
what believe now? Do-you-know-
what-I-believe? believe you young
folks get up all these here heavy pyro-
technics just to have a chance to
make up again. Good morning. o
reUoy, my turkle doves. The next
time you go short on spelling don't
come to me for help"