Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-07-16
MULTUM IN PARYO.

| partner 10 share his losses with him.
Good summer board is always desid-
eratum, but good spring board can always
be found at any first-class gymnasium.
Roses are so plentiful in France that
the railway companies decorate the walls
OF the stations with them arranged on
trellis frames.
| BARNEY ANDREWS sat on a keg of pow
der in a Missouri grocery store and smoked
a cigar for fun. The fun didn't commence
until the powder exploded.
PoRT EADs is to be the name of a new
| " settlement down at the New Orleans
| !jetties. Hundreds of workmen are already
settled there, engaged in the jetty con-
| Struction.
"WHAT is proper condiment for one sex
of the bird is proper condiment for the
other" is a Connecticut legislators way
of saying What is sauce for the goose is
sauce for the gander.'
| ICELAND's volcanic action is increasing
in intensity. "The whole region of the
| My-vatu Mountains is one blazing fire, :"
and new craters and assures of portentous
magnitude are making their appearance
| every few weeks.
A NEW YORK paper has information
| that there is not One-half the demand
| for soda water that there was two or
three years ago. And yet, soda water
| seems to fill place which rain-water or
dish-water can't touch.
THE statistics of Pennsylvania, Ohio
and Illinois prove the value to society of
education. Of the persons who cannot
read and write, one in ten is pauper
while of those who can read and write,
IOOlV one in 900 iS q manner
"GoLLY, can't that old woman run,
| thought" said an excited lad, as female
form sped out of the archway and put
down the street after boy who had
given her some "sass." "Whew," he
half whistled, watching the chase with
eager eyes; 81 guess she's on whalin'
er'-Detro1 Free Press
DURING recent Detroit fire young
lady rushed up and down Montcalm street
wildly shouting: "Save 'em-oh, save
'emp' "What is it? Who? Where ?"
shouted man, as he seized her arm; els
anyone burning up?" "Not as [ know
off, she walled, "but won't some one
dash in there and save my croquet set ?"
No one dashed.
The reduction of summer goods in New
York this season is greater than the most
ancient and venerable shopper can remem-
Der it to have ever been before; partly be-
cause the market has been flooded with
fancy fabrics, which the merchants dare
not carry over, and partly because of the
general dizziness of trade and the necessity
of raising oney.
THERE seems to be no excuse for idle
ness even in hard times, if we can only
bring ourselves to regard employment in
the light of remark recently made by an
easy going philosopher, who said: Don't
fret. Do as do. When | haven't got
anything else on hand, just keep busy
standing round waiting for a good chance
to dodge lightning"
ONE of the most amusing things in the
world to people living on the Mississippi
is to read the accounts in the Eastern pa
pers of six and eight pound catfish as
large catches. When one of those Oriental
journalists has been here and seen one of
our 150-pound catfish pulled out with
little boy, dozen or two pop-bottles, and
a couple of old hoop-skirts in its stomach,
he never talks of eight-pound cat any
more.-St. Louis Republican.
A MALE convict at Cayenne obtained
permission to marry a female convict; but
as the man was widower the Governor
declared it was necessary first to obtain
the certificate of the death of his first WIFE
A communication was addressed to the
authorities but without any reply. The
convict insisting that the ceremony should
no longer be delayed, the Governor said:
" But what is there to prove that your first
wife is dead?" The reply of the convict
was tolerably satisfactory on this point:
Why" he said, Pm here for having
assassinated her."
AT a dinner-party recently given in
London by Mr.. Lowe, ex-Chancellor of
the Exchequer, the conversation turned
upon the unnecessary passages in the
marriage services, when the member for
the London University referred to the alb
surdity of a man who had no property
whatever gravely declaring that he en-
dowed his bride with the whole of his pos
sessions. Now when | married. re
marked Mr.. Lowe, 8" hadn't shilling in
the world" "But," chimed in his wife,
" you had your splendid talents" Well,
but didn't endow you with them," was
the Right Honorable's retort.
A DAY or two since clerk IN one of the
telegraph offices in town, being the last to
leave for his dinner, found the door locked
as is usual, but, as is not usual, discovered
that he had left his key in another coat
pocket two or three blocks away at his no |
tel The windows were two stories up |
and he did not exactly see the point of an
exit that way. And every minute his din |
ner was growing cold and his temper cor
respondingly hot, He ratified the door, |
tried to pick the lock with shingle-nail, |
and repeated softly to himself choice ex-
tracts from profane history, but there he |
stayed and relief seemed appallingly re-
mote. He telegraphed to st. Thomas,
Can, had it repeated to Detroit, Mich, |
whence it was returned, according to ac- |
companying instructions, to the Atlantic d |
Pacific office here on Main street, the re-
suit of which was to send boy up to his |
room after his key and bring it to his of
flee to release him.-BufaIo Courier.
ME catchee one velly nice China
woman and mally now, like Mclean |
man, y were the first words uttered by a |
well-dressed young heather who entered |
the police Office this morning, leading by
the hand young Chinese woman, whose
face was half hid in huge bandanna.
" Two bad Chinaman," continued the
heather, he buy woman for $500. one
more Chinaman he want little China
woman and give $500. She no want
Chinaman. She want me, and me
catchee and run away. Chinaman catchee
little woman, take her back to bad place.
She mally me, me mally she. How you
mally Mclean way? How muchee?n
The fond pair were escorted to the County
Clerks office, a marriage license procured,
and the twain made one flesh by Judge
The Chinaman, however,
was afraid to take his bride away with him
for fear that her late owners would kidnap
her, and she was sent to the Chinese mis-
sion to remain few days.-,San Francisco
Post
THERE Is a curious anecdote of Henry
L., c,n1fh 11rnf