Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-11-17

~ burlington boy being asked by
his tcacher ihe other day, what occa-
stoned the sa'tness of the sea, after re-
lection advanced with some conf.
denccithe opinion that il smust be
owing to the Goldfish
"A miikman was Weakened by
wag in the night with The announce.
ment that his best COW was choking.
He forthwith jumped up to save the
life of bis animal, when 10. he found
tnraip stuck in the mouth of the
pump. FEF EFfg{.k #F
What IL the value Of a toe? A man
In New York had his toes cut of by
the wheel OF street car and he
brought suit for damages. He thought
$4,000 $1,000 per toe, was about the
figure, but the jury took of one eli.
pher, re 5..
"Bob,' said Camden boy to play
mate, your fathers jast been killed.
mo J" said Bob. "Ies, sir, blown up
by steam boiler" answered the 9TH
er. by gum, he's got my knife, too"
exclaimed Bob, thrnsting his hands in
bis pockets.
The Rev. Mr.. Kalloch, of California
formerly Of Massachusetts thinks that
there is no more sin in going to a
theatre than in going to church fes-
tival, but that young mon should not
go to either when their washing bills
are unpaid.
Pa said little Jimmie, az came
%a
class to-day" GLOW is that, my son ?"
why, big word came all the way
down to me, and If only conld have
spelled it. / should have gone clear
np."
A German philosopher holds that
there IS precious little difference be-
tween civilized men and savages.
Both are hunters all the timo after
food for their respective squaws, pap
doses and themselves, although in diff
ferent fields. and If people didn't have
to eat, they would all be at the same
bar. ks5z8 So @ E
Indian corn in North Germany
often assumes placc among the
household plants. 1t is regarded
there as tropical. In our country il
becomes tropical only under the name
of Bourbon, and then it warns man
up 30 that he feels as if he were under
the tropic OF Capricorn.
"As was goin' over the bridge
the other day." said native of Erin.
II met Pat Hewins. 'Iewins,' says l,
how are y0u2' Pretty well, thank
van nnrnoll,-, cave ~ .no..,,,,
says l, that's not my name Faith,
then, no more is mine Hewins.' So
with that we looked at each other
agin, aud sure enough ii was nayther
of u.s."
A lady. a member of one OF the
leading Baptist churches in this city,
before going away for the summer,
called upon her venerable pastor. tell
ing him che would sojourn in COM
munity where there was no church
but the Methodist, and asked: "What
must do about going to the Lords
Suppers" "Her good pastor replied
soto cocc, Commune with them, only
don't tell Deacon Foster.n-Golden
Age.
"A good story is told of LAWYER
h of Bratlleboro', and we pen it for
the readers of the Standard. L. and
his law partner ID were engaged as
attorneys for the defendant in a breach
of promise suit, which wastried at the
last term of the Windham County
Court. The plaintiffs testimony had
been given, and j.. saw that his client
was clearly in the wrong. Turning
to his partner, he said: I'm going TO
ask the Court 10 adjourn long enough
for me to take the defendant out and
give the id cuss licking.''-- Wood
stock Standard.
A good story ia lately current here
of one of our city clergymen who lie
famous for his manly, goodfellowship.
He was travelling on the cars on the
New York and New Haven road, not
long since, engaged in pleasant chat
with friend, when he was repeatedly
annoyed by a drunken hummer in the
seat in front, who persisted in ATTEMPT
ed TO engage him in conversation.
AT last, wearied beyond endurance,
the clergyman arose, aud, turning the
man sharply away from him, said,
lyon are drunk, and / don't wish to
hear or see anything more OF You"
The hummer sank in silence for a mo-
ment, and then once more turned and.
gazing reproachfully at the clergy
man, exclaimed, so as TO be heard
nearly the whole extent of the car by
the passengers, whose attention had
, been generally directed that way. "Mr.
T., pears 10 me you don't care
anything at all bout my soul. -
Hartford Letter TO Springfield Relnb-
hcon.