The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-05-13
How Seth Hawkins Stole IN Old Lady's
Night Gown.

How Seth Hawkins Stole IN Old Lady's
Night Gown.
The Boston Meaos gives the following as hav
ing occurred in one of the villages of the old
Bay State within the recollection Of the writer.
We do not know when we have enjoyed so
hearty laugh as on reading this incident in
the life of Seth Hawkins:
Sunday night was the season which Seth
chose to do his weekly deyours, as Mrs. Horribly
would say, and his road to neighbor Jones's
(whose daughter Sally was the object of his
particular hope,) lay across three long miles OF
territory, stumpy as an old woman's mouth and
as irreclaimable as prodigal son gone away
for the third time.
One all sufficiently dark night unheeding
wind and weather, as gallant and spruce low
er as ever straddled stump, Seth, in best "bib
and tucker" and dickey, and all that, started
upon his weekly pilgrimage to the shrine of
Sally Jones-a sweet girl by the way as straw
berries and cream are sweet.
Seth knew every landmark, if he could see
| it; but the night was very dark, and in lit
tie while he became confused in his reckoning,
and taking the light which cleaned from far
mer Jones's cottage in the distance for guide,
he pushed boldly on regardless of intermediate
difficulties, surging occasionally to the right or
left, as some distractions rose in his path, un-
til he ran stern on, as sailors would say, to
huge stump, and rolled incontinently over to
the other side.
He gathered himself up as best he could,
shook himself to ascertain that no bones were
broken and then restarted on his mission of
love, his ardor somewhat dampened by feeling
the cold night wind playing fantastic gusts
around his body, denoting that the conclusion
had "breached" his "oh-f-for-shameables, and
that the seven-and-six-penny cassmeres were
no more to be the particular delight of his
eyes, in contemplation of their artistic excel
lence.
He knew not the extent of the damage sus-
tanned, but soon gained the house. bis hrst
glance was over his person to ascertain it de-
cency would be violated by an unwonted dis
play; but seeing nothing and trusting to the
voluminous proportions of his coat tor conceal
ment, he felt reassured, and took his seat IN
prohered chair by the fire.
weather, and the dame upon the matter OF
cheese, he glanced at Sally and saw with pain
full surprise, that she was looking anxiously
and somewhat strangely towards a portion of
his DRESS She advassed her eyes as she caught
his glance but again catching her eyes upon
him. he was induced to turn his eyes in the
same direction and saw-good heavens Was
it his shirt? oozing out Of six inch aperture
in the inside of one of his inexpressibles
He instantly changed his position, and from
that moment was on nettles. Was he making
more revelations by the change? He watched
the first opportunity to push the garment in a
little Could he succeed in hiding it, it
would relieve his embarrassment. Again he
watched his chance, and again slowed away the
linen. It seemed interninable, like the doc
tors tape worm, and the more he worked at 1t,
the more there seemed left.
In the meantime, his conversation took the
hue of agony, and his answers bore as much re,
the songs of Solomon does to the melancholy
burthen of Old Mary Petin.gill.
At last with one desperate thrust the whole
disappeared, and he cast triumphant glance
towards Sally. One look suficed to show that
she had comprehended the whole, and with the
greatest effort was struggling to prevent a
laugh. Meeting his glance, she could contain
herself no longer, but screaming with accumu-
lated fun, she fed from the room f; and poor
Seth, unable to endure this last turn of agony
seized his hat and dashed madly from the house,
cleafing the stumps like racer in the dark,
and reaching home, he hardly knew when or
how.
AS soon as he was gone, Mrs. Jones looked
about for clean nght-goWn that she hau OUT
for service on the back Of the chair on which
Seth had sat. She was positive that she had
taken it out, but where upon earth it was she
could not conceive.
"Sally !" cried the old lady from the door,
"have you seen my gown
"Yesm," echoed her voice, as if in the last
stage of ufocation-"yes'm, Seth Hawkins
wore it homep'
1t was unfortunately the case, and poor Seth
had stored it in the crevasse of his pants: 1t
was returned the next day, with an apology,
and he subsequently married Sally but many
years after, if any article of any. description
was missing of apparel or otherwise, the first
suggestion was that Seth Hawkins had slowed
it away in his trowsers.
Seth Hawkins is now prominent and in.
fuential merchant in the city Of Boston, and
often relates the story himself for the amuse-
ment of his young friends.