The Arizona sentinel., 1875-02-13
MISCELLANY.

where the garter is worn, but it
is probably a sort of corset and al
fects the lungs.
When a woman won't marry
man for himself alone, but wants
him to settle ten or fifteen thous-
and dollars on her, and insists on
having the papers drawn up by
lawyers, cooling doves won't have
any business around that house.
Said Missouri preacher t:
"Thar's a powerful sight of gig
Cling back thar in the corner, and
it's got to be stopped, or the Lord
will delegate me to open the door
and throw some one out" It was
stopped.
A Michigan man couldn't find
a comb or hair brush in Kansas
hotel. and when he complained
about it the landlord replied: eff
you are so particular as all that
you ought to have brought the
Aston House along with you."
About the maddest woman in
America lives in Brattleboro', VT.
"a boy, coasting, came up be-
hind her and took her feet out
from under her in such way
that she sat down on the sled and
was carried all right to the foot of
the hill"
Old lady Ito telegraph clerk
go, please, mister, just write me
a telegram to my son John, and
tell him to come home directly,
and mind and put dash under
directly.'
A man who will go to the
cemetery with his wife on Sun
day and weep over her first hus-
bands grave and walk home with
out a cross word shall have our
vote every time he comes up for
Office.
A Chicago grocer, when COM
planned to about selling bad eggs,
said, ''At this time of the year
the hens are not well, and often
lay bad eggs"
They have people in Chicago
who are pleasantly referred to as
"eighteen. carat fraud" They
are men who profess Christianity
and charge ten per cent, commits
sion for passing round the hat in
church.
Ode to a Western wOoer in the
sleighing season:
The moon it shines along the snow,
The sky is a crimson banner,
Oh, wilt thou with me a-sleighing go,
My lovely red-hsired Hannah?
"See here, my friend, you're
drunk" "Drunk! to be sure ]
am, and have been for the last
three years. You see, my broth
er and / are on a temperance mis-
sion. He lectures, while l set
frightful example"
A minister asked a tipsy fellow
leaning up against a fence, where
he expected to go when he died
"If I can't get along any better
than do now" said he, 81 sham
go anywhere. PIl stay where
amp
A man went home, the othel
evening, and found his house lock
ed up. Getting in at the window
with considerable difficulty, hi
found on table a note from hi
wife: 81 have gone out; you viii
find the door key on one side th'
doorstep"
A Canadian murderer wanted
them to put off execution, Owins
to his being afflicted with TIL
toothache, but the sheriff sait
he'd got to go to mill the mex
day and he couldn't possibly oc
commodate the prisoner.
John Erode is no more. You
probably didn't know him. HI
lived in Western Missouri, and OF
entering the Smoke-bouse of
friend 10 see how the hams go
along a trap gun blew his heac
off. d.
A gallant wag who was sitting
beside his beloved, and being IN
able to think of anything to say
asked her why she was like
tailor? 81 don't KNOW" said she
with a pouting lip, "unless it
because l am sitting beside
goose"
A girl in Georgia brought sui
against a recent lover, claiming
$4,000 damages, but she compro
missed for four bales of cotton an,
new parasol. Her lawyer too
the cotton for his fee, and she KEEP
the parasol to heal her Wounds
affections.
1t is a singular fact, but one we
authenticated, that an Indian new
er dreams. He slumbers ava
like a horse, and he doesn't knoN
what it is to dream that he is rid
ing out to spelling school with hi
arm around the waist of the hand