The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1875-03-18
Old Times on the MiSsiS-
Sfppi.
Mr. Mark TWaIn's Difficulty in Learn
Ing Several Thousand Niles OF
hiYeF Shore.
The Heaviest hemOFIzIng Task Ever
Undertaken by Mortal Man.
The Romantic and Practical Aspects OF
the Father OF waters.

| anu DcuuS anu n cufiOuSly luanlInaDS
mass of l1mber il was, too. However
inasmuch as could shut my eyes and
reel off a good long string of thest
names without leaving out more than
ten miles of river in every fifty, be.
gan TO feel that could take a boat
down TO New Orleans if 1 could make
her skip those little gaps. But OF
course my complacency could hardly
4 get start enough to lift my nose a trifie
into the air, before Mr.. B would
i think Of something to fetch it down
again. One day he turned on me sud-
denly with this settler:
| Ast is the shape Of Walnut Walnut
He might as welIhsvs asked me my
grandmother's opinioniOf prntOplasm.
/ reflected respectfully, and then said
L didn't know it had any particular
shape. My gunpowdery chief went of
with bang, of course, and then went
on loading and firing until he was out
OF adjec5ives.
l had learned long ago that he only
carried just so many rounds of ammu-
milton, and was sure to subside into a
very placable and even remorseful old
smOoth-bore as soon as they were all
gone. That word "Old'' is merely af-
fectionate; he was not more than for
ty-fQur. ] waited. BY and by he said:
sYAy boy, yhn'vs got 70 know the
shflPe Of the river periectIy- It Is all
tkeIe il left to steer by on q very dark
sEything else is blotted out
and gone. But mind you, IL hasn't
the same shape in the night that it has
iE the daytime"
"How on earth am I ever going to
learn IL, then ?''
"HOw do you follow a hall at home
in the dark ? Because you know the
shape OF it. You can't see It,"
''DO you mean TO say that pve got
to know all the million tTifiing vari-
ations of shape in the banks of this
lihtsrrnieableF river as we'll asI know
the shape of the front hall at hoIae2T,
'Dn.ny honor, you've got to know
thesn 6etter than, any TsaR ever did
know the. shapes, Of the halls in his
''I wish I was dead -
Snow 1 doift want to ,iisco1rage
you, butt
"Well, pile it on me might as
well have il now as another time"
"Hou see, this has got to be learned;
there isn't any getting around it. A
clear starlight night throws sReh
heavy shadows that if you didn'bknow
the shape of a shore perfectly you
would claw away from every bunch of
timber, because YOU would take the
black shadow of it for a solid cape !;
and you see yOu WoAid be getting
oaarad -, HooFA o--~,.,.,, <rkr,,,, o.tfsaa 4
by the watch. You would be fifty
yards from shpFg all the time when
you ought to be within twenty feet Of
it. You can't see a snag in one of
those shadows, but you know exactly
where it is, and the shape of the river
tells you when you are coming TO it.
Then there's your pitch dark night /;
the river is q very different shape on a
pitch dark night from what it is on a
starlight night. All shores seem to be
straight, lines, then, Rnd, mighty dim
ones, too !. ana You'd TsiIl them for
straight lines, only. you know better
You boldly drive your boat into what
seems to be a solid. straight wall (yOu
knowing very well that in reality
there is a curve there, and that falls
back and makes way for You. Then
there's your gray mist. You take a
night when there's one of these grisly,
Isdrtzzly gray sInists, and then there
isn't any particular. shape to shore.
-Acgr3y mist would tangie the head Of
the Oldest man that ever lived. Well,
then, different kinds of moonlight
l'change the shape of the river ia differ
.entways, sYou see"-
F'Oh, don't say any more, please
Have I gotto learn the shape of the
river acebriing to all these five hun
dred, thousand different ways ? If ]
tried TO carry allthat cargo in my head
it would make me stoOp-shouldered." F"
.tA0.! you only learn the shape of
the river; and you learn it with such
athsolu te Gertainty that you can always
steer by the shape that's IN yOur head,
and never mind the-one that's before
your eyes"
every well, I'll try it but after !
have learned it can 1 depend on it ?
Will it keep the same form and not 90
fOoling around ?'
Before Mr.. B could answer, Mr..
W came in to take the watch, and
he said :
"B-, you'll have TO look out for
Presidents Island and all that cOun-
\ try away up above the Old1Hen and
Chickens. = The banks are eaving and
the shape of the shores changiNg like
everything. Why, you Wouldn't know
the point above 40. You can go up in
side the old sycamore snag now.
So that question was answered.
Here were leagues of shore changing
shape. My spirits were down in the
mud again. Two things seemed pret-
ty apparent to me. One was, that in
order to be pilot man had got to
learn more than any man ought to be
allowed TO know and the other. .wEs,
I that he must learn it all over again in
+ a different way every q hours.
That night we had the watch until
twelve. Now it was an ancient river
custom for the two pilots to chat bit
when the watch changed. While the
relieving pilot put on his gloves and
lit his cigar, his partner, the retiring
pilot, would say something like this :
II judge the upper bar Is making
down a little at Hsle's point had
quarter twain with the lower lead and
| mark twain with the otherg' =
"Yes, Thought il was making down
n little, last trip. Meet any ,bOats?n
"Met one abreast the head Of 2l,
but she was away over hugging the
bar, and I couldn't make her out en-
tirely. I took her for the Sunny
South-hadn't any skylights forward
of the chimneys."
And 50 on. And as the relieving pi-
lot took the wheel his partner would
mention that We were in such-and-
isueh bendS aud ssy we were abreast
of such-and-such a mans wood
yard or plantation. This was cour-
tesy; / supposed it was neoessi-
~. But Mr.. W came on,
watch full twelve minutes late, on
this particular night-a tremendous
breach of etiquette T; in fact, it is the
tTnparHonabie sin among pilots. So
fdr. B. gave him no greeting what
ever, but simply surrendered the
wheel and marched out Of the pilot
house without 8 word. was appsll-
ed; it was villainous night for black.
ness, we were in a particularly wide
and blind part of the river, where
/ there was no shape or substance tC
anything, and it seemed incredible
that Mr.. B should have left thai
poor fellow to kill the boat trying to
find out where he was. But resOlY.
Cd that I wOuId stand by him any
way. He should find that he was mol
wholly friendless. SO / stood around
and waited to be asked where we
were. But Mr.. W plunged on Sc.
renely through the solid armament Oi
black cats that stood for an atmos.
pheres and never opened his mouth.
Here is proud devil, thought here
is limb Of Satan that would rather
send us all to destruction that put
himself under obligations to me, be.
cause am not yet one of the salt o.
the earth and privileged to snub cap
tains and lord it over everything dead
L.ar1l nlirrn L. 49,. L-..L n - u.