The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-03-05
How the Old Man Dled-Taking His Last
-. Luxury on Earth.

How the Old Man Dled-Taking His Las
..-... LUXURY on Earth.
His full name was Hebdon Wright
Turner, but everybody called hin
Heb" He must have passed his six
tieth birthday, but no one cared to looE
a second time to seeif he was growinq
old and wearing out. He choreG
around livery stables and saloons, al
ways hungry and always ragged, and
while no one was his friend he had nc
enemies. s-.as H-En-
The other day he fell down in faint
in a saloon on the river road, and when
| he was restored to consciousness he
startled the three or four men who had
placed him on the bed by exclaiming
"Boys, I'll be darned if l amt going
to die !'' sS -
No one had ever stopped to think
whether Uncle Heb was. ever going to
die. 1t was the general impression
| among his acquaintances that he would
live along for three OF, four hundred
years. g a.-s.-s
How do you feel 2'',they asked
'Kinder,trembly and weak" he re-
piled. "Tll bet fifty cents III kick the
bucket afore noonri '@7s>'
1hey offered to bring a doctor, but he
said: %&a Cz
"No, don't take any trouble; ; tend
right to business as usual, and when 1
kick the beam, plant me quietly and
without any style!" -
The men Imagined that it, was mere
weakness which would@s soon pass off,
and one eaof them sal down near him
while the others retired togo about
their business.
TITS tough weather for funeral 2"
remarked Uncle Heb, as the fierce wind
howled around the house. cit don't
make any difference how Tn carried
up; L wouldn't know Ait1if there were
sixteen hacks and brass band; just as
lief go up alone with the driver i
After pause he smiled blandly and
inquired /: i# &s#EEfI IHs
| They'll speak of me as the Flate
deceased, wont they? Yes, of course.
1 should like to read the papers to.
morrow and see what they say of me
but won't be here, you know.
Have you any property to dispose
of ?" asked the watcher.
"Lemme see !" unused Uncle Heb.
eyes, thar's an extra pair of butes and
a hat and about Ii cents in money. I
suppose the right way would be to have
executors pinted, but, as 1 said be-
fore, [ don't want any fooling around.
You can divide up the estate between
you"
The old MAJ was very pale and he
seemed to be suffering, and the watcher
was anxious to do something.
"I tell you," replied Uncle Heb,
"Pd like some brandy. If it WASH t
just as it is wouldn't put you to any
trouble, but being I'm going away to
stay I'd like few sWallers of real peach
brandy-sOme of that III the fancy de-
canter."
Some was brought him, and he
smacked his lips, smiled, and remarked:
Z" If [ wasn't going 20 die I'd try and
lay in quart or two of that brand -
After five or ten minutes more the
nurse asked him if he didn't feel better,
"Feel better = echoed the old man,
chow can a dying man feel better I?
Do you suppose I'd be fooling around
here if | wasn't going to expire p
The man sat down, and Uncle Heb
continued
GAS soon as go up the spout one of
on go to the Poormaster and say ::
Mr.. Willard, old Heb is dead send a
feller down and plant him. That will
be as good as a speech two hours long.
I'm sorry I was took sick here, but 1T
wasn't my fault. You may go now"
The man went ont, thinking Uncle
Heb out of his mind, and sat down and
played dominoes for an hour. Hearing
no movement in the back room he
opened the door.
The old man was dead !-DetrOit
Free Press.