The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-08-12
Items of Interest,

A Minnesota woman killed eighteen
bushels of grasshoppers III one week, and
got one dollar bushel.
II you have nothing, and your girl has nothing,
Don't be in haste TO wed
For nothing and nothing make nothing,
And nothing won't chew like bread.
Married people will have no difficulty
in getting along well if they always
! keep two bears in the bouse-bear and
forbear.
[ never place much reliance ON Il man
who is always telling what he would have
done had he been there. | have noticed
that somehow this kind of people never
get there.
The custom of remaining uncovered
in church commenced about the begin
ming of the seventeenth century. An
order to that effect was issued soou
after the accession of James l., i'll 1908.
The longest night in Norway lasts
three months, and when young man
goes to see his girl, her mother, before
retiring, tells her not to ruin her health
by sitting up more than than two months.
A lady having been ordered by her
| physician to a warmer climate, her huls-
band remarked that if there was warm
er climate than he had been living III
since his marriage he was not aware of
| it.
An explosion lately occurred at the
pyrotechnic school in Toulon, which
killed three officers. A drop of perspira-
ton, falling on matter that is not explo-
sive, except in contact with water, was
what did it.
John (who has been carrying Oh this
sort of thing for about seven years.
"Do you know, Mary, really think we
ought to be settling down shortly. What
do you say, now, if we arrange for about
say two years time?"
The humorist of the Detroit Free
Press is to bring out book, and his
enemies, if he has any, are rejoicing.
The Providence Press thinks that "Died
of funny book-Gone to meet the
Danbury Nc1cs man" will do for his
epitaph.
Student of history" Professor, are
kings and queens always the highest ?"
Professor" Certainly, why do you ask
such q nonsensieal Question 2" Student
-" Because | noticed that i'll a game of
railroad euchre, the joker - Profcs-
sor-"Leave the room, sir!"
"Jessie, what was Joe's arms doing
round your waist when you were at the
front gate last night ?" asked precocious
boy of his sister. ellis arm wasn't
round my waist L won belt from him,
and he was taking my MEASURE" replied
the indignant young lady.
A minister, while marrying a couple
of his rustic parishioners, folt exceed
ingly disconnected, on his asking the
bridegroom if he were willing to take
the woman for his wooded wife, by his
I'm wullin'; but I'd rather hae her sis
ter"
"My DEAR" inquired young wife Of
her husband, as she reached up her lit
tie mouth to bo kissed on his return
from business, "have you seen the mag
nificent set of walnut furniture which
the Jenkinscs have just bought2"
"Hem, no, my love; but / have seen the
bill, which quite satisfies me-"
At st. John, N. B., well dressed
woman entered q store and paid for u
butter tub which she had bought thirty
years before. She had paid for the but
ter at the time of purchase, and promised
to pay for or return the tub, but neglect
cd to do either. For thirty years her
conscience troubled her about the mat
ter, and at last drove her to payment.
"Do you get off horo!" asked the
puTser of the steamer City of Newport
of II lady, us the boat was within two or
three hundred rods of Bullocll's point,
Tuesday afternoon. "No," she re-
sponded, and just as the purser was
about to tell her that she would have to
buy a return ticket she continued: 81
get off when the boat reaches the wharf. "