Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1875-12-09
Professor Tice on the Coming
Winter.

! In recent publication, the far-fam-
ed Professor Tice, of st. Louis, takes
direct issue with his lately-discovered
rival, Professor kroeger, of Wisconsin,
by say ying:
The coming winter certainly will
not be an agreeable one. First cold,
really so, will set in about the 18th of
/ November, and continue for nearly
week. 1t will be warmer about the
5th of December, and then cold for
another week. 1t will be warmer from
the 18th to the 18th, and then cold
again. About the 18th it will be warm
and about the 30th cold to very cold
until January q; then warmer till the
18th; then very cold to the 10th; then
warmer for a few days, followed by
/ cold weather till about the close of the
month. The month of February will
be very hOisterOus, generally warm,
but short spells of intensely cold
weather"
DID you ever meet a Man-if you are
journalist you have, and we don't
mean yOu,-but, not being a journalist,
did you ever meet Man With An
Idea? Ii you never did, you do not
know the infinite richness, the height,
and the breadth, and particularly the
depth of meaning in the word bore.
He may be a cold water man; bran
bread man soap man; lightning
rod man; free love man; special
one-idea man in anything under Heav-
en-, moral, fiscal, religious, sanitary
refOrmatory, evolutionary or revOlu-
tiOnary-it is all one-he spends his
| life and that of everybody about him
ON that one thing. He will make you
wish you had died before you was born.
You cannot help saying under your
breath perhaps, Good Heavensi What
an arduOuS bore You are! Don't you
| sometimes get tired Of yourself, and
wish you could go away to some place
where you couldn't lind yourself?
Don't it make you feel sick to think
that you have got to live with yourself
ali your life, and can't ever get away
| to lest few minutes from your own
vociferous idiocy?" The Man is some
times a good man-convinced that the
world is all going to destruction be-
cause it will drink something beside
water, or eat something beside bran
bread. You try to have patience with
| him, try to reason with him; try to
convince him that il is not necessary
for all the world to eat bran bread be-
cause he is cosrive and dyspeptic; try
to show him that cleanliness don't re-
quire you to bathe in ice water three
times day and rub your shivering
carcass into a glow with a currycomb;
! try to argue with him that all the world
need not torsake nutritious wines and
tonic beer, because here and there a
madman gets rabid on fiery whisky:
you might as well argue with SIX
weeks rain. The brother is jealous
and well meaning, but he can no more
balance than sled with one runner off.
He will run round and round his One
Idea, plunging into the deep snow on
one side, upsetting into the road again,
then bouncing into the snow on the
other side with his one sled runner up
side down, and his legs working in the
air like the tlanges of a windmill. He
not Only makes no progress with his.
half sled, but he gets in the way of alt
other progress, tangles himself up in
the harness, gets under The wheels,
throws the train off the track, and
doubles himself across the stomach try
ing to stop things, because other people
won't all get themselves the same kind
of half sled he is trying to travel
with.
You need not try TO convince such
man that you can't learn to navigate
sled with one runner, that you would
only travel in circle and never go
anywhere. He thinks it is your duty
to try, and keep on trying, and spend
your life trying. He thinks it is wick
ed for you to go on toward your jour
ney's end in a vehicle that will not toniy
carry you, but give lift to many a
poor weary-footed traveller. He travels
on his good intentions, and lays his
pavement where the road is all paved
with that kind of material.-tO. s.
Journal.