The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-02-18
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

/
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
| A GLAZING EvIL-Street ice.
| UNDER R-wRITERs-Subo editor .
| A CLEAR CAsE-An empty dry goods
| box.
YOU need write but single letter to
make Mary marry.
If "there's place for everything"
| where is the place for a boil?
THERE were 5t,545 children in the
New York public schools last year.
A RECENT Tennessee bridegroom of
seventy-seven presented his bride, aged
thirteen, with $4,000 as marriage gift.
A MARYLAND paper talks about "the
| wild alarm of the midnight bell" All
bosh. Only the hired girl smashing an
other lamp chimney.
NATURE abhors a vacuum, and that's
why some people, when they catch cold,
| always find it settles in their heads
Commercial Aduerttser.
WE agree with Turkey Let the monte
negroes be arrested. The game is bad
| one. Nothing is gentlemanly but draw
poker Cincinnati Times.
For inflammation of the gums use half
teaspoonful of tincture of myrrh in
half tumbler of water. Rinse the
mouth three times day.
A FLORIDA railroad boasts of making a
net earning Of nineteen cents last year
According to Dickens the stockholders
ought to be happy, but they're not.
PITY with its crystal drops is sweeten-
ing many cup of life. And in return
many a grateful heart is laying on the
palm of pity the choicest gems of graft
tude.
MR.. MUTTON, of Omaha, proposes to
collect damages of a railroad company
for putting him off the cars. He wants
it understood that he is none of your
spring lambs.
A VERMONT clergyman stepped up to
kiss the woman he had just made a
bride, when she brought her hand down
on his mouth and spoiled forty-dollar
set of false teeth.
THE New York Post suggests that it is
likely to become a matter of some in
terest before July A, 1876, to know the
precise hour and minute when the Dec
laration of Independence was signed.
saha Ii we 61 shGgHa PGg eeF effe EfMaSd fay
only one in existence.-R0cheSteT Donlo-
crdt.
IT Is singular that some ladies who
can't bear the smell of cigar smoke VIII
regularly rub their hands with a mixture
of vhite-lead, whisky, lampblack and
logw ood composing "halr restorer,
and think nothing of it.
Mr.. Z. Ii. PHILLIPS, of Louisville, was
married for the fourth time the other
day. His three former wives left him
| within two weeks of the wedding day.
| for some reason not known, and had Nc
difficulty iE obtaining divorce.
"THE late Emperor of China is dead, !"
| saws Cairo paper. Now, why didn't he
| consult language and remark: 1.-The de-
ceased Emperor of China is no more. lie
has gone to the undiscovered country
from whose bourn no traveller returns,
or words to that effect.
PROF. MORSE says that there are prob
ably not over 100 moose in Maine, where
not long ago they were annually kllleu
by the thousand. He thinks the species
will become suddenly extinct, the condI
tions growing more and more uniavora
BILE for its continuance.
. THE Young aspirant for Journalistic
, honors who came into our office tour day:
ago and wanted to learn to be reporte
, has proved himself an indefaugabl'
worker. We sent him out after an item
and he's been out after it ever SINCE
Neao York Commercial Aduerttser.
e THE Youngstown (Ohio) Register tells
!, tough story. A man employed in one
t the iron mills in that place had finge
r cut off IN the large shears. The Regtste
a closes the "item" with this statement
v "The first intimation that Mr.. Cook ha
e of his misfortune was from fellow
d workman, who picked up the end OF th
S severed finger from under the shears an
+, handed it 10 him." If that man shoul
IS be hanged he wouldn't know anythln
t about it until some kind friend calle
e his attention to the account OF the ext
If cution in the newspapers.
1t A CANADIAN, oblivious of imaginal
o boundary lines, offers to do the stoI
1t work for the improvement of the Sau
l Sainte Marie Canal for less money th'
"a any American competitor, and the seer
lg tary of War, who advertised for bids, h
st decided ihat the term "lowest bidder
Id in his advertisements includes foreig
&! ers. The disappointed Yankees dem
or at this, and propose to appeal to the a
le torney-General and if necessary to t
IL Supreme Court to set aside his decisl
at and give them their rights. This seei
y, to be a case of some Importance, and
ed public will be curious to learn the &C
10 clusion of it.
" A STYLISH young man recently stopp
e at an inn in small town in Calitorn
oh He called for the drinks" for all abe
rs the place several times, and waved
gu hand in lordly way He was so agr'
pe able that they all took quite liking
lse him. Next morning after breakfast
ou was starting off, when the host apolog
ically remarked: That little bill +" &c
eA- bless your soul, my friend, haven't &c
, a cent" "Then why didn't you tell
u uua so before?" said the host. well"
ne piled the traveller, " if you hadn't b
Ply so ineuisitive l wouldn't have told
ms ms now" The point was well taken, I
os' the landlord insisted upon wrapping
uo for him a bottle of his best as travel
,sr ,e companion.