Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-05-27
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
AN open letter: O.

| IL Is SalQ In4G tueFe Is t"iCO ao hAu1h
nutriment in pound of mutton as in a
pound of salt pork.
THE approved glove for street wear
has three buttons, with simple stitch
ing on the back of the same shade as the
glove.
A sUPERCLIoUS attention to minute
| form alities is a certain indication of a
little mind conscious of the want of in
nate dignity.
BEING asked what made him so dirty,
an unwashed street Arabs reply was:
81 was made, as they tell me, of dust,
and [ suppose it works out"
MADAME THEIRS, who now sets the
French fashions, instead of the Empress
Eugene, is responsible for a revival of
calicoes in the fashionable world.
How BLESSED is the son of woman born
Who never felt the sting of corn,
Or smarted like ten thousand onions
With blistering bands of blasted bunions.
WE should so 1--we and labor that what
came to us as seed may 60 to the next
to US as blossoms may go to them as
fruit.
"Do YOU know who I ann" asked a
policeman of fellow whom he had
seized by the throat: "Not exactly, sir;
but l fancy you are the malignant
collarer"
The national sass" Kansas; the
national pie, Mississippi; the national
hatchway, all those States possessed by
the grasshoppers; the worst card in the
pack, Ten-ace-see?
A SINGLE queen bee will produce 1OO,-
O0O bees IN a season; the 100000 bees
will produce sc, 900 swollen heels and the
sale of twenty-five barrels of arnica-
Western Stat5st5csGn.
HE general raking up of old things,
Incidental to the contentious epidemic,
has brought to light the fact that Wash
lngton was not large man, and that he
wore immense boots.
LoRNE may come and Lorue may go,
for all the American girls care. He's
married. If he wanted to see the
maidens all for Lorne he should have
visited America five years ago
LADIES dresses are now made so mar
row in Paris that it is almost impossible
to raise the skirts, and an ingenious mod
lste there has issued instructions to her
customers how to accomplish this feat.
A KIND-hearted, peace-loving Balti-
more man painted his front steps TWEEN
ty-three times, trying to get color to
suit his wife, and then she decided that
the first color was the best.-Detr0St Free
Press
HE Philadelphians have now found
the identical compass and chain which
were used in laying out their precise,
-board-like city. The benevolent
William Penn himself manipulated the
articles, which have been placed on ex-
hibition.
"WHo is that a statue off" asked a
lady of her husband, pointing to an
"Apollo." "The Apollo Belvidere."
Law! how atfectionate you are, my
love! And now, darling, who was Apollo
Belvy?" An explanation on pronuncia-
ton followed.
CHOW, MY son." said Brooklyn
father, g take this castor OIL or out you
go through the window" "Boo-hoo-
hoo" said the little man, after applying
the point of the spoon for moment to
his lips. "Me can't take it, papa. Fo
me out de winner"
In Nevada napkins are used at table,
but when they have eggs for dinner the
mother remarks: "Now, Bill, you am
the rest just stick to yer sleeves and let
the edge Of the table-cloth alone, like yer
belonged to decent society, or pll haste
the pelts off your backs"
"OLD TIG," owned by Mrs Susan Will
son, of East Wilmot, N. H., is wonder
full horse. He is known to be thirty
years old, is perfectly sound, has the ap-
pearance and vigor of colt, does all the
work on good farm, and last fall trotted
mile on track in 8 :46.
By declining to eat things that you
"oh0 oOSouoO tIc dIo unhealthy, DY 60
ing to bed early when you want to sit
up, and by making your life wretched in
thousand ways you have a chance of
living to ripe old age, if that is any
satisfaction to you.-Eachange
CHARLES BRTrToN, of PENNSYLVANIA,
shot himself because he had the dyspep-
STA. What would he have done to him.
self if he had had the toothache, or boil
On the back of his neck, or hole in the
elbow Of his coat, or button out of his
shirt, or any other great affection?
ETHAN ALLEN said to the commander
OF Ilconderoga: Get up, you white
ivered scoundreln' but the historian has
thought proper to make him remark:
Arise, my respected friend, and sur
render this establishment as soon as YOU
conveniently an."-RorEester Democrat.
THAT ar patch of grounds mem'ri-
BILE" said an Omaha man, pointing to a
grave all by itself outside the town. Il
reckin you'll know that, stranger, when
Won see il ag'in The ooIv,-oo,+ of tbo+