Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1875-10-07

The cheapest east of the Atlantic coast where the
Cheap John" style is never practiced by advertising
such as Great Sacrifice, Fearful slaughter, or
"Beow Cost etc, where you will be received with
that peculiar smile of mine, and then III make a
dive for your weasel skim One fault of mine is
| had always been 0yerp0lite in Germany. came
pretty near being put in prison while in the
old country for the very same reason, butt in
this glorious country they ask me invariably for
credit, if / practice Thorn my French style of
etiquette but the greatest crimes man may be
guilty of are, being Dutch, getting drunk and playing
the fiddle But have been led away from the thread
of my story. No woman is or can be happy without
good Tea Coffee. Then, why don't you call at my
store and please your wife, and particularly myself
and you all like to hear your chiidren laugh; well
then, bring them to my Toy and Candy Store, and
YOU will hear their merry voices ring in the air ike
little silver bells Ny line of School Books scom
plete And, if you wont buy down Win inteli
still remnant of barbarity left at my store IN the
shape Of pint and half pint TASKS which Will loan
on deposit of dime and after they are empty or
charmless Won may return them and won't give
YOU cent. have originated idea in having done
away with the middleman, and the money save in
this way give away, for allow nobody to Interfere
between me and my customers. l also keep none OF
that seven years itch in the shape OF travelling
bummers, you are not obliged to help pay Tor KID
gloves stovepipes cigars, whiskey, ETC. My business
ia honorable and respectable, aud deal in nothing
that is damaged unsound or adnlterated. Young and
old rich and poor, can buy of me for cash. VIII
not trust half of the people, because do not know
them and the other half will not trust because |
do know them. l afford to advertise, because
cannot afford to see people pass my store 10 some en-
terprising business who sows his seed in the
columns of THE GRANT COUNTY HERALD, and is re-
turned to him hundred fold; or, as Marx Twain
has it, "There is Millions in it," And |, as a fool,
like the farmer have an nalienabe right to be most
happy and satisfied with myself, and that man is the
biggest fool the three who s of different opinion
Courtesy is the watchword of my establishment to
cash customers to whom will sell cheap, because
cannot help myself on account OF that big teart OF
mine, and for that very reason my name VIII De
handed down to posterity. Instructions given free
of charge to the poor show to become rich.' ana
they are especially invited. Having been poor once
myself can administer to their wants by experience
l still look upon the Blind Robin as staple article
OF food for those French gentlemen who would IKE
to eat oysters if they could pay for them Saturday
night Admission free, as usual, but makes you see
much troubles before you get opt. Remember, ihs
j. BEG.
P S.-Goods delivered free of charge to all parts OF
the city by good.looking Dutch Boy, who Is entitled
to the sympathy of the entire community, because
he was born in Germany, and on that account he
never can be President. ). b