Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-10-22
Rates Of A Advertising.
LIVING ON THE OLD MAN.


otory is appropriate for the commencement
season 49,. .......-.
| MISTER EDITUR haint no edication
and thank God for it. Governor Lippitt
said in his kollege speech that edication
paid better than mortgage at six per cent.
Governor Lippitt, / ask you have you
got such things as three highly edicatcd
sons on your hands. what can't support
themselves, and all living on the old man ?
You know you amt. and as have, guess
know as much about this edication mat
ter as you do. 1 cuss the day when lituray
ambition broke out in my family-I q.
three sons to kollege, and if had not one
left to stay on the farm and work with me,
we should all on us be taken deep inter-
est in the annuel appropriations for the
poor of the town. ---
My Silas studied law, and all the writs
he has yet seen has been on hisself. He
has to sware out of Jail three times a week
regular trips he makes. Monday Wednes-
day and Friday, like the Rhode Island
from Stonington.
He has got as pretty little Hoffis as ever
you see, with legal work of Smollet, Byron
and all them great jurists arranged on
shelve-the portrait of Rufus Chote and
that girl what danced so good at the
Theatre, hung up on the walls. We fur
nished him with all those necessaries of
the legal profession, and although be
smokes and drinks beer, and does all a
young lawyer ought to do to win confidence
and public esteem, it is no go.
He belongs to ten secret societies, and
tell him wish to God he'd jiue one so Sc
/ cret that his creditors could not find him.
He buys all his tobacco,in my name for
fear of getting attached, and as for his
beer, he drinks up five dollars worth at
time, and then swears out on il. He is
getting low spirited now, and says that all
the Blackstone he wants 10 know about is
the Blackstone river, with big stone tied
to his heels, which made his mother cry,
but told him he was of age, and had no
control over him.
Poor Silas, when he graduated at Kol-
lege, his grafton was on "A classical edica-
tion lndursphensible to success in life.'
His mother and / cried in the Baptist
Church when we heard him deliver it, we
didn't know what for then, but hev since
found out. tell Siias that the only chance
see ahead is to take to drink strong, then
reform, and may be the temperance folks
will shove him along to keep him moral
and steady.
My tother boy, Ezra, studdied for doc
tor. The first case be had was Hawkins,
that was gored so badly by Olneys bull.
Hawkins had six good stiff horns aboard
of his own afore the bull muxed With him,
which made it bad case. Ezra wanted
to be sure, so he gave him ali the medicine
he had on hand at once. Just as Hawkins
was dying he writ an afydavit that the
treatment he received from the bull was
humane compared with that of his doctor
Hawkin's.widow sued for malpractice, and
her lawyer told the jury that N. D., stood
for murderous doses, and that he was q
doctor of many drains but few serupiss.
At this joke the Judge and jury laughed
like they would split, and they gin big
verdict agin Ezra, and he had to run off
to California.
He drors small drafts on me often, so we
know he's alife which is more of a COM
fort to his mother than myself. When
Ezra graduated, his Grafton was on Knoll
lege Purtection Against the Kalamities
of life.' His mother and cried lad then,
and we have since found out why.
But the sadest case of all was our poor
little Calvin. At the time when unthink-
ing youths are spent in laying stone walls
or hoeing corn, Calvin was seriously think
ing of the more important work of savings
souls He entered college, and was finally
settled over a large parish at Heilburn
Woods.
For a fes years things went smooth.
He not only saved other souls, but he
meekly accepted his portion of the trials
and difficulties OF life by getting married
and raising up family Of souls Of his own
manufacture.
Then his parish got tired of him and
told him to quit. and they turned him of
as they do ministers, by passing lot of
resolutions about the pain it gave to sun
der such tender and hailed ties.
He and his hull family came home TO US,
and arter we got about used up with them
got Calvin's life insured for all could,
and he sailed ten months ago as commits
sioner to a lot offerocious cannibals. 1 have
prepared my mind TO see soon from the
king of the tribe letter something like
this:
MY DEAR SIR Your son Calvin ar
rived in good condition. While we regret
to state that he disappointed US sadly in
the amount of gravy, il gives me pleasure
to add that he was tender and spall-boned
Should any other member of your estima-
BILE family feel inclined to Christianize US,
send him along. We can stand it as long
as you can.'
Poor Calvin's orashum was on The final
result of the Missionary enterprise
My other son was not edicated, and has
stald on the farm, aud is the support and
comfort of our declining years. He is so
ignorant that he thinks the New York
Weekly is the ablest paper in the world,
and the prevailing impression on his mir
is that William the Conquerer took =
tive part in the burning Of GaspSmse and
For all that, he can suPIEch is more than
has money in the bank ah say. My opinion
= =, ,ss, Iam e|snt to be passed maAiu
10 - '1a. norno~.sion of a college liable for al
The ' ANS of their graduates. This woula
mats them all plagy careful not to edica'e
anv hut them that was fit for 1t, ana o'ners
MIGHT be spared what me and my poor
wife has suffered.
VIZ