The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1875-05-14
WHAT THE WITS SAY.


larger than their feet, so as not to crowd
the snakes.-Hamiltos Neags.
To many the path of life is nearly al
tunnels.-Dan6ury Nesos. That is what
makes it such bore.-Bostou Neaos.
From snake story which comes from
Colorado, it is evident that the whisky has
begun to thaw out there. .-Mi1uaukee Sen.
ti1sel.
Phineas T. Barnum, mayor of Bridge.
port, Conn. Admission to Bridgeport,
hereafter, fifty cents; children half-price.-
Rochester Democrat.
There is little black and white animal
scooting around nights among East Rome
hens nests, which much resembles silence.
1t gives scent.-Rome SeaI.
Softly now the tender-hearted wife i'm
parts to her searching husband the intelli-
gence that she sent his linen clothes to the
Kansas sufferers last winter st. Louis
Globe.
A Montana justice of the peace doesn't
splurge any when he marriesa couple. He
says: ''Arise, grab hands hitched-six
dollars p And that's all there is to it.
DaDbWry NeUs.
What is the difference between the sun,
when at its meridian height, and Henry
Ward Beecher ?-Er. Well,w should say
there was considerable difference. One is
above the earth and the other is ON it.
Humboldt Register.
Don't you wisht you was me ?" said a
six-year-old boy to one of his companions,
on Monday, "fer I've got twenty-five cents
and I'm goin' to the barber shop to git my
hair cut, an I'll have pink water squirted
on my head -Wyandotte Courier.
"The revisers of the Bible have reached
Isaiah in twenty-eight sessions" This is
very slow work. Old Whaxem, school
master, reached Isaiah in one session. Isa-
iah was in the act of placing crooked pin
on the masters seat at the time.-Brookgy
argus.
Atlantic Iowa Telegraph: An Atlantic
young man of small stature accounts for
being bow-legged by his arduous duties in
being compelled to hold heavy young wo-
man on his lap. Her throat is so soft, Ia
Bessie Turner's, and he says he'd hold her
if it bent his legs double.
According to French journal, straw
possesses certain properties which give to
il positive value as conductor of light
ming. This is a very old discovery. In this
country, straws have been used for years as
of lightning =" Jersey light
ming" we mean.-Norristoaon Herald.
An Arkansas lad came to his father and
said: 81 Dad, they amt knives enuff TO sot
the table," Dad-"Whar's big butch, lit
lie butch, old case, cob-handle, granny's
knife, and the one l handled yesterday
That's enough to sot any gentleman's table,
without you've lost um ALL" Dan5ury
Nea1s.
A contemporary asks: "What are the
street lamps for?" The man who doesn't
know what a street lamp is for is hardly fit
20 sit in an editorial chair and mould public
opinion. Street lamps are for weary young
men to recline against at midnight, when
hey forget the way home. -Norrtstoacn
Herald.
Yesterday, when white-washer upset
bail of whlte-wash on Second street par
or carpet, doing $50 damage, he said to the
yrief-stricken lady of the house
81 was a-going to charge ye sixty cents
'or dis white-washin', but, in view of dis
7ere disastah, Til put the figures down one
lalf. ."-Free Press.
In some parts of the country the papers
ire using cuts of the new Treasurer's sig
nature for periodical illustrations of hay
tack on fire. and the deluded subscribers
hink it is intended to represent map of
Africa, drawn in the dark, or
he picture Of predatory hens work on
lew garden bed.-St. Joe Herald.