davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

A farmer on the road between Charl-
ton and Worcester, Mass, having been
terribly annoyed by drummers, put up
sign: ''No sewing machines wanted here.
Got one" 1t was no use; the next
drummer wanted to see the machine,
"and perhaps he'd hitch up.a trade" So
the farmer put up: Got the smallpox
here That worked well for little
while, but then came along drummer
frightfully pitted with smallpox. who
smilingly said: "Seein' you've got it bad
here, they've put me on this route"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18
Report fr9Ess q Practical Che ElR isf
and AP0tEEecary.

Boston, January I, 1874.
DEAR SIR-This is to certify that have
sold at retail l548 dozen (lS52 bottles) of
your Vegetine since April r. 1870, and
can truly say that it has given the best
plants for which it is recommended that
l ever sold Scarcely a day passes with
out some of my customers testifying to
its merits on themselves or their friends
I am perfectly cognizant of several cases
of Scrofulous Tumors being cured by
Vegetine alone in this vicinity Very
respectfully yours, Al GILMAN,
To H. R. STEVENS, Esq All Broadway
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18
From Lodi III Fun.l
Regret.

/ do not mourn, sweet wife of mine,
Because those ruby lips OF thine
That marble brow
Were X kisSed by one who might have been
Had not chanced to step between,
Thy husband now.
do not grieve because thy heart,
Ere Cupid touched il with my dart,
For him would beat
Nor that the hand which owns my ring
Once wore his gift, a ''Mizpah" thing.
1t was but meet.
/ sigh not that his arms were placed
Some score OF times around your waist,
So sweet and slim.
All, no, my love! the woe you see
Is mine, because You welded me
Instead OF him.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

The question is again agitated, Shall
women be permitted to pass the hat in
our churches?' A few years ago, when
hoops were in vogue, the ladies couldn't
''pass hat in the aisle without dragging
it up to the pew they entered. But the
present style of dress permits them to
pass the hat easy enough.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

At recent examination of one of the
schools in Washington, the question was
put to class of boys: why's the Con-
necticut River so called?' when bright
little fellow put up his. hand. DO you
know, JamesG Yes ma'am. Because
it connects Vermont and New Hamp-
shire and cuts through Massachusetts,
was the triumphant reply,
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18
Reliable Evidence.

Mr.. H. L. Stevens
DEAR SRI will most cheerfully add my
testimony 10 the great number you have al
ready received in favor of your great and good
medicine, Negetine, for do not think enough
can be said IN its praise, for was troubled over
thirty years with that dreadful disease, Catarrh
and had such bad coughing spells that it would
seem as though Icould never breathe any more
and Vegetine has cured me; and / do feel TO
thank God all the time there is so good medi-
cine as Vegetine, and also think it one of the
best medicines for coughs and weak sinking
feelings at the stomach, and advise everybody
to take the Negetine, tor / assure them
that it is one of the best medicines that ever
MRS. l.. GORE,
Cor. Magazine Walnut stS.,
Cambridge, Mass.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

= 1.-THE password is 'Saxe'-now don't
forget it, Pat" said the colonel, just be-
fore the battle of Fontenoy, at which
SAKE was marshal - E1tseIl 5
"Sacks Faith and will not Wasn't
my father millerH I'll. So 593a
"Who goes there?" cried the sentinel,
after the Irishman had arrived at his
post gsE tsTIHt
Pat was as wise as an owl, and in sort
of whispered howl, replied, Bags, yer
honor!" s.ls ssss. 4.f
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

At territorial hanging the victim
who had been literally supplied with
whisky prior to fulfilling his engagement
with the sheriff, was asked at the last
moment if he would have anything.
Just drop he replied. He gotit. 1t
was about six feet, and broke his neck.
He took drop too much,
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

A Fifeshire man recently took his child
to the minister to be baptized. who asked
him, Are you prepared for so solemn
and important an occasion?' "Prepar-
edl" he echoed, with some indignation:
81 hae a firlot o hammock backinl, two
hams, an gallon O. the best Highland
whusky, an l wad like to ken what bet
ter preparations We expeck frae man in
my condition O. life p
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

In New York. last week, Louisa HeU-
ser, pretty girl of fourteen, attempted
to commit suicide by drinking quarter
of pint of red ink This sounds ink
red-ible, but it is true. The physician
didn't order her to swallow sheet of
blotting pad, because he didn't think it
would be write t-s
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

A landlady, who had some very weak
chicken broth for dinner the other day,
was asked by one of her boarders if she
couldn't coax that chicken to wade
through that soup once more!
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

A lawyer once asked hotelkeeper the
following question:; ''If man gives you
hundred pounds to keep for him, and
dies, what do you do? Do you pray for
him p No, sir" replied the landlord,
81 pray for another just like him."
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

One day, at farmhouse, wag saw an
old gobbler trying to eat the strings of
some night.caps that lay on the grass to
bleach. THAT" said he, "is what call
an attempt to introduce cotton into Tur-
key"
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18
THOUSANDS SPEAK.

Vegetine is acknowledged and recOmmen-
ded by physicians and apothecaries to be
the best purifier and cleanser of the blood
vet discovered, and thousands speak in its
praise who have been restored to health.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

"Say r said the city youth TO the mod
est countryman, got the hay-seed out o
your hair yetY wall" was the dehb-
crate reply, 81 jedge not from the way
the calves run arter me. q.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

Mr.. Norton, Texas editor, has whis-
kers three feet long, and his wife has
begged and begged OF him to cut them
off and let her have them for mop.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

NJ. Fillemont, French scientist, de-
clares that in literature and art nothing
great was ever produced by total ab.
stainer, In this opinion NJ. Fillemont
will doubtless be sustained by intelligent
barkeepers everywhere. st
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

We suppose that ludicrous things will
continue to occur during church-time.
Every has seen them and smiled at
them The last instance that has come
to our knowledge is that of clergyman
who, while preaching, perceived a man
and woman under the gallery in the act
of kissing each other behind hymn
book Instead of becoming excited at
the spectacle or losing his temper, he
beamed mildly at them over his specta-
cles, and when the young man had kissed
her for the fifteenth time. he merely
stopped short in the middle of of"thirdly,"
and offered fervent prayer in behalf of
the young man in the pink neck-tie,
and the maiden IN the blne bonnet and
gray shawl, who were profaning the
sanctuary by kissing one another in pew
seventy-eight." The young woman pull
ed her veil down, but the young man got
angered. Everybody else smiled.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

A WORD TO BoYs-Truth is one of the
rarest virtues. Many a youth has been
lost to society by allowing falsehood to
tarnish his character Honesty, frank
ness, generosity, virtne-blessed traits!
Let these be yours, my boys, and you
need not fear. You are watched by your
elders. Men who are looking for clerks
and apprentices have their eyes on you
If you are profane, vulgar, saloon-going,
they will not choose you. If you are
upright. steady and industrious, before
long you will find good places. kind en-
nlovArs and the prospect of useful life
before you. st5tra -.sc,
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
SPACE. q WIZ WIS w9IIm.lS m, g MI I ]

Legal advertisements, l219 cents per line for
first insertion, 81 cents each additional inser-
ton. Marriage notices so cents EACH. Editorial
notices 10 cents per line, each insertion.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18

An observing man, who was travelling
on train, noticed gentleman and lady
seated in close juxtaposition, and, judg-
ing from their conduct, appeared to be
exceedingly intimate. In front of the
comfortable pair sat two Germans. Pres
emily the. train passed through dark
bridge. Amidst. the rafting. of the
bridge could be heard noise that sound
ed for all the world like conclusion of
lips. AS the train emerged into day
light, one, of the Germans slowly drew
his spectacles over his nose, and exclaim-
ed: "Vell, tink dish ish bad bridge.
hears him crack one, two, three four
times. The lady drew down her veil,
and for the rest of the trip looked mute
and quiet. ''+
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18
vegetine is Sold by All Druggists.

Vegetine is acknowledged by all classes of
people to be the best and most reliable blood
purifier in the world.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18
SCHOOL DIRECTORS
OF Jackson 81 Adjoining COun-
ties.

you are respectfully informed, that The un-
darsioned is prepared to furnish seats and desks
for school houses, halls, &c., OF tue latest ana
nboanesPp For particulars, cali on or address
cheaPese' Il. r. MCCLURE,
Cross Roads (Clay p. o. jackson Co., o.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18
England, ireland, Scotland s. Wales.

Interest Paid on Time Deposits
H. l.. CHAPMAN, President; j. d. Glars,
Vice President; ID. ARMSTRONG, taShlei ;
II. ]. EDWARDS, Assistant Cashier and BOOK
keeper. -, ~. N
Directors-H. l.. Chapman, J. D. Clare, John ID.
Davis, Peter Pickrel, T. s. Matthews, Johh
Sanders and o. S. Miller.
STOCKHOLDERS:
H L. Chairman I. L. Hughes ST.,
T. d. Clare John D. Davis,
Peter PickreI John Hughes
d. Armstrong, Lot DAVIS,
Isaac Brown. H. F. Austin,
Minerva Bennett, j. NJ. Jones,
John G. II. Cobb, John H. Lewis,
c. F. Bertsch F. Miller
William H. steele, U. 5 Miller,
Il. J. Edwards, Moses Sternberssr,
Linn Bentley, VIM. Jackson,
r. s. Matthews. Joseph Jones,
John Sanders, B. il. Evans,
r. s. Wilcox, A. b. Monahan,
John Stanton, Daniel ID. Morgan,
A F,McCarley. S. a. Stephenson,
David J. Jones' John II. Jones,
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
Morgan County

From the Mercury we learn that
Colonel Ward III. Lamon arrived at
Berkeley Springs at the eleventh
Aour; also, that Mr.. Beverly Ran
kolph has been surveying route for
a Railroad from Berkeley Springs to
Alpine. He has completed the sur
sey, and is now engaged in making
ihe necessary estimates.
The Mercury also says
-We don't see any COWS on the
streets after night, but we can bet
high in the morning that they have
Asen.n
From which we opine that il
EIodgson would retire earlier, foot
frints wouldn't appear so cloven OF
hook half SO strange in the morning.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
Directors Meeting.

The directors of the Agricultural
Association held very interesting
meeting on Saturday afternoon. The
treasurer reported having settled
xith the secretary. The returns were
thought very creditable, taking into
consideration, the Indictment weather
sf the last day. The future inter-
ssts Of the organization were dis
cussed, and it was evident from the
remarks of the representative men
from various sections of the country,
that the prospects were very bright
and hopeful, and there is no
foubt but that the increased inter-
est manifested, win make the fair of
1876 an unprecedented success. To
This end, it was determined to call a
stockholders meeting on Saturday,
October 30th, and we trust that
svery member win make it his duty
to attend.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
County Ticket.

The Washington county Md Re-
fablican Convention put in nominal
zion the following ticket:
For State Senator, David III. New
somer; for House of Delegates, DR..
). McP. Scott, Lewis p. Fiery, j. III.
Farrow, and Henry Ranger; for
States Attorney, Edward Stake; for
Sheriff, Peter Mayberry; for County
Commissioners, Philip Doub, J. S.
Deaner, John w. Stonebraker, John
4. Harp and Issaac Ankeny; Judges
Of the Orphans Court, j. J.. Smith,
.ohn Reichard, and Samuel Strife !:
Surveyor, Isaac Durborrow.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
List of Dead Letters,

The following is a list of letters re.
@aining in the Post Office Sept. Is
md viii be sent to the Dead Letter
Office Oct. I'd, if not called for:
A. J. Anderson, VIM. Branson, w.
:. Brown, Miss Mamie Dorson, Jno.
ssraham, Charles f. Geare, Louisa
n. Hoge, Jas. III. Holt, Jacob Keefer
Vim. Lemen, Pierce IL Bros, John
Pierce, Kate Ridenour, John w.
shank, Susan Shatzer, w. Schede,
N. John W Scott, Rev. VIM. Tay.
AOr.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
GRAND LODGEI. o. o. +.

The Grand Lodge of Odd Fellows
of the United States is now in ses-
sion at indianapolis, Ind. a large
number of Representatives are in at
tendance. The Grand Lodge and
Encampments of Indiana gave the
Representatives a public reception
yesterday, at which addresses OF well
come were made by Gov. Hendricks,
Mayor Craven, Senator Morton and
Hon. Schuyler Colfax.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25

Can't Martinsburg have a lyceum
ihis winter? There is material
enough here to get up first-class as
location of this kind, and the effort
ought to be made. If the old liter
airy association is beyond resurrec-
zion, start new one, and give the
people an opportunity of enjoying a
good debate once a week during the
Dng winter nights. Who will move
=, the matter.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
Distorted Vision.

The Martinsburg Independent comes
to us freighted with complimentary
notices of our public buildings, bus
mess houses and general business ac-
tivity. Glad to see that the editor
has awakened to the fact that we
have got more business than they
have.-HdgerSto,cn Ne,cs.
You are cross-eyod Adams, for you
didn't see us waken to any such
thing. You have a good town, nice
people, rich and satisfied; but on ag-
ricultural fairs and enterprise, Mar
tinsburg stands pre-eminent. Hope
Adams will see better when he sleeps
off the excitement of the fair.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
Aaron II. Stienmctz.

Our citizens will remember that
Neinmetz was recently tried in the
q. $. District Court, at Wheeling.
sor the fraudulent use of the mails.
lie was convicted, made motion
Dor a new trial which was overruled
and on Thursday last he was SEN
fenced to one years confinement in
The Government Penitentiary at Al
Sany.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
Assaulted and Robbed

The Hagerstown Ne,cs says Mr.. j.
4. Eyster, the proprietor of paper
n,ill at Halltown, Jefferson county,
ras going to his hotel at 11:45 on last
Friday night, and when i'm front of
abe Catholic church he was assaulted
BY two men with something of the
stature of a sling shot or billy, as the
Blood on the sidewalk testified. He
Had his wallet taken from him, con-
Gaining S400.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
Conyicts Taken to Albany.

The following persons were taken
to the Government Penitentiary at
Albany, from this State on Satur-
day, viz: William Michaels, robbing
a post-office in Grant county, SEN
tence three years; j. j. Freeland,
passing counterfeit money in Richie
county, sentence five years; John
w. Pearl, forging an order for let
tiers in the Charleston post-ofiice;-
Aaron Steinmetz, using the United
States mail service for fraudulent
purposes, sentenced one year.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
HagerstOwn lettings.

We gave our opinion of the Ha-
gerstown Fair, and we come now to
notice the town and the places of in
terest therein which we visited under
Adams kindly guidance.
The private residences and store
rooms are nearly all of the modern
style, with here and there an old land
mark, reminding us of the smaller
means and wants, and less extraya-
giant notions of the founders of the
town. They have beautiful churches,
and their courtroom is a credit to
any community. The design is ele-
CANT and the arrangement for the Of
fees and the court house is very com
plete, whilst the furniture and con-
venienceS are of first -class order. The
Register of Wills and the Clerk Of
the Court have large, commodious
rooms, and to each is attached large
vault constructed by Gen. f. b. Ty-
Ter, who designed the vault Of the
Peoples National Bank of this
place. The furniture is all of black
walnut, and of rich and elegant pat
terms. We next visited their market
house, and were well-pleased with its
arrangements. and from it the town
derives considerable revenue. All
the stalls are rented at public auc-
ton, and for the accommodation of
those who prefer to sell from wagons,
the street is laid off i'll sections, with
numbers on the curb-stone, and this
space is rented by farmers, garden
ers and others. Butchers are not al
lowed to sell meat elsewhere on mar
ket mornings. This forms the basis
for drawing the people to, and for
bnilding up the market, for persons
being compelled to go there
for their fresh meats naturally
look for vegetables, &C., at the same
place. We next visited Mr.. William
Updegraff's Glove mandatory. His
make of gloves are considered the
best made. and are sold in this town
by Messrs. Gettinger Il Hoke.
They make ladies and gents fine
gloves of all descriptions, and have
twenty two girls constantly employ
ed in the work and he is now max
ing arrangements for room to dou-
BILE his force, instead of trimming
out 40 dozen pairs of gloves, make
so dozen pairs. We found Mr.. Up
degraff a very pleasant gentleman,
and we should judge him to be full
of enterprise and thrift, and one of
that class of men are worth more to
a community than hundred do
nothing moss-covered millionares.
For want of time we then con-
cluded our observations, stopping of
course, at Adams invitation, to see
the birds at Seidenstrikers.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25

THERE has been remarkable free
dom during the last two months
from the diseases ordinarily incident
to the summer, and this happy ex-
emption is attributable in a very
large degree to the plentifulness and
cheapness of fruit. Were it possible
to have fruits every summer at the
prevailing low rates, so that poor and
rich could alike enjoy them to their
hearts content, there would be far
less startling bills of mortality at the
end of the season.
And there is no good reason why
in country like this, there should
not always be an abundance of fruit.
1t might not occur every year that
the peach crop would be as large as
during the present one, but if fruit
cultivation was carried on to the ex-
tent it should be, there would always
be such a supply of some of the lead
ing kinds as would enable all classes,
and especially the poor, to have as
much OF it as they desired.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25

HERE'S richness Dio Lewis, who
knows all about diet, physiology, ex-
ercise, sanitary matters, and in short
about everything that is calculated
to keep the human system sound and
the mind contented and happy, has
the dyspepsia. 1t is sail also that
he is looking forward apprehensively
to an attack of govt.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25
Look to Your Flues.

This is the season of the year when
it becomes the careful housekeeper to
look well to flues and chimneys be-
fore putting up stoves, if they wish
to guard against fire. A little care in
this respect may prevent confagra-
tinn
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25

THE New York Herald which first
raised the stthird term bug-bear,
thinks that Gen. Grant is the luck
lest man in America, and says it
does seem as if those who feel I he
deepest interest in his defeat are by
some malign influence conspiring to
make his nomination inevitable and
to give his reelection every prospect
of certainty.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25

IN Boston, on Sunday last, there
was a meeting of Baptist clergymen
to discuss the Sunday question, and
strange to say, considerable diversity
of opinion was exhibited. While one
pitched into Sunday horse cars, an
other admitted that he patronized
them, and while several roundly con-
demned Sunday excursion trains to
camp-meetings, &c, others welcomed
them as a means of getting people
to attend some religious service who
otherwise wouldn't go at all. Who
shall decide when the clergymen dis
agree ?
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25

THE very first condition of per-
manent revival in business is sound
currency, which at once stops waste
nj home and retains in our hands the
profits of our intercourse with the
world
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25

Is THERE a business man dishon-
est enough to advocate a law to pro-
vide that all subsisting debts and
contracts may be discharged on pay
ment of so, so, or 10 per cent. of the
stipulated sumY We hope not. Yet
that is precisely what the initiation
lists are figuring for. They propose
to water the currency until thin
bleful of it will make glassful, and
then call that a good square drink.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-09-25

THE State Archives are to be ship
from Charleston to Wheeling by rail,
via the Chesapeake 81 Ohio to Staun-
ton, and thence via the b. Il O. r..
r., past Martinsburg to Wheeling, a
distance of over 900 miles. This is
necessary because of the low stage of
water in the Ohio and Kanawha riy-
ers. River navigation will not do to
rely on. In the winter season, it is
the ice, and in the summer, low wa
ter. In the permanent location of
the Capital, let the Legislature not
forget the fact that Martinsburg is
the most convenient and central
railroad point in the State. 1t af-
fords equal facilities of communica-
ton to the people of the Third and
First Districts. The people of the
Kanawha Valley can reach Martins
burg, via The G.. and o. r. r., with
about the same amount of travel that
it will require of the people of the LIST
District, via the B. 81 O. r. r.. And
then communication is always open,
winter and summer.