Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1875-02-26
From the Detroit Free Press
BRASSER'S SON CLAUDIUS.
The fun he Made Ofa Neighbours Boy
Disturbing the Old FO1ks-a Good
ShOOt-SmashingG Glass and ArOus1ng
Police man.

BRASSERS son CLAUDIUS.
The fun he Made ofa NeIghbOr's Boy
Disturbing the Old FOlks-a Good
ShOOt--SmashingG Glass and ArOus1ng
A Police man.
Mr.. Brasser, who lives on ninth
avenue, has a son about twelve years
old named Claudius, and the other
evening this boy received permission
to allow a neigbor's boy to stay all
night with him. The old people
sleep down stairs in the sitting-room
and the boys were put in a room di-
rectly above. When they went ub
to bed Claudius had the clothes line
under his coat, and the neigbor's
boy had mask in his pocket. They
didn't kneel down and say their
prayers like good boys, and then
jump into bed and tell bear stories,
but as soon as the door was locked
the BTasser boy remarked:
You'll see more fun around here
tonight than would lie in ten acre
lot!
From a closet they brought out a
cast off suit of Brasser's clothes,
stuffed them with whatever came
handy. tied the mask and an old
straw hat on for head, and while
one boy was carefully raising the
window the other was tying the
clothes line around the "man." The
image was lowered down in front
of the sitting-room window, lifted
up and down once or twice, and
old Brasser was heard to leap out of
bed with a great jar. He was just
beginning to doze when he heard
sounds under his window, and his
wife suggested that it was COW in
the yard. He got up, pulled the
curtain away, and as he beh sld
a man standing there he shouted
out:
Great bottles! but it's a robber!
and he jumped into bed.
Theodorius Brasser, are you a
fooll screamed the wife as he mo-
nopolized all the bed clothes to COW
er up his head.
Be quiet, you old jade, you! he
whispered; perhaps he'll go away!
Don't you call me a jade! she re-
piled, stretching over and trying to
find his hair. Git up and git the
gun and blow his head off!
Oh! you do it!
Git up, you old coward, she snap
ped, Pll never live with you anoth-
er day if you don't do it!
Brasser turned up the lamp, sat
up in bed, and cried out:
Is that you boys?
Mercy on me! git up! yelled the
wife as the straw man was knocked
against the window.
I'll blow your head off as clean as
milk! said Brasser in a loud voice as
he got up. He struck the stove
three or four times, upset a chair,
and REACHED behind the bed and
drew out an old army musket.
Now, then, for blood! he contin-
ued, as he advanced to the window
and lifted the curtain.
The man was there, face close tC
the glass, and he had such a malig-
nant expression of countenanet
that Brasser jumped back with {
cry of alarm.
Kill him! Shoot him down, you
old noodle head! screamed the wife.
l will-by thunder! 1 will! replied
Brasser, and he blazed away, and
tore out nearly all the lower sash.
The boys up stairs uttered a yell
and groan, and Brasser jumped
for the window to see if the mar
was down. He wasn't. He stood
right there, and he made a leap al
Brasser.
He's coming in!-perlice!-boys
-ho!--perlice! roared the old man.
The tattered curtain permitted
Mrs. Brasser to catch sight of man
jumping up and down, and she
yelled:
Theodorius, Pm going to faint!
Faint and be darned! Boys!-per-
lice! he replied, wolloping the sheet
iron stove with the poker.
Don't you dare talk that way to
me! shrieked the old woman, recov,
ering from her desire to faint.
Po-leceI Police! now came from
the boys up stairs, and while one
continued to shout the other drew
the man up, tore him from limb to
limb and secreted the pieces.
Several neIghbors were aroused,
an officer came up from the station,
| and search of the premises was
made. Not so much as a track in
the snow was found, and the officer
put on an injured look and said to
Mr.. Brasser:
A guilty conscience needs no ac,
cuser.
That's so! chorused the indignant
neighbors as they departed.
As Mr.. Brasser hung a quilt before
the shattered window he remarked
to his wife:
Now see what an old cundurangC
you made of yourself!
Don't fling any insults at me, ol
I'll choke the attenuated life out OF
you? she replied.
And the boys kicked around on
the bed, chucked each other IN the
ribs and cried:
I'd rather be boy than be Presi-
dentl
A CLOSE FIT.-The following in
stance of Youthful eXactnesS comes
| e e. 4 1.