Litchfield enquirer., 1875-07-15
CLIPPINGS.

CLIPPINGS.
 ~~-ABoston ~tailor adyertises e ddiiagona
 boys suits" .-~--~
 Why csnnota Temperance man kiss { e iewessp p He has sworn not to taste jew
 lips.
 Nevada papers say that propositions. o
 marriage out there are written on posta
 cards, and the answer comes by return
 mail: "Oome on with your preacherY
 Speaking of railroads a wag remarked that they are now built of three gauges, viz |: Broad gaugeI narrow gauge and mortgage.
 How a womaa. can keep on talking while g %JusH a6h Sf M Sairpihs pins s E mystery not noi yet explained. .-CdrL Pretzel
 Kansas teacher-s'Where does all of our grain product go to?" Boy-"Itgoes into the hopper" Hopper What hopper?'' ''Grasshopper !" .triumphantly shouts the lad. :,
 A Chicago man thinks that the Indians 5 ought toEbh exterminated, because, after all William Penn's kindness to them, ''they went and made him stand up one day, and shoot an apple off his little boy s "SAu "l'n aA HAf'HIET0J1 W1u
 A red-haired lady, who was ambitious of literary distinction, found but poor sale for her book. Agentleman, in speak ing of her disappointment, said: "Her Q laAir is red, If her book is not" An audi tor, in attempting to relate the joke else where, said: ''She has red halr, if her book hasn't"
 A few days since.a a farmer was telling in our hearing that he had planted an acre and half of potatoes, and he feared they would be destroyed by the potato bugs. "Are the plants up yet?" asked bystand- CT. "No," replied the farmer, ''but the darned bugs are sitting on every hill wait ing for them"
 4 wild-eyed man, carrying his hat in his hand. entered the depot yesterday and baggage truck along: "Wheres the traln?" 'What train?' '.Any train-any train My wife isn't ten rods behind. and she's got an axe-handle over her shoulder and sulphur in her eyes, ."-Dan6mian
 Little Bessie is the fve-year old daugh- ter of Portland lady who 1iarriedI a cler- gyman not long since. When hef father was away, and she was playing in the yard, a stranger came along and inquired if the minister was at home. "No," she replied, "but mother is in the house. and she will pray with you, you poor, miser- able sinner"
 certain clerk in a Western village, recently made the following comment on POcahontas.. Said he: esRocahontas Easa great man; Pocahon was kina hearked and true man" S|Hold on" cried lis champion; "Pocahontas was a woman." ''She was, eh?" said he. "Well, that's just my luck. How am I expected to know? l never read the Bible.
 Well, my son, said Detroit father to his eight-year old son, the other night, "what have you done to-day that may be poor boy five cents, !" replied the hopeful. ''Ah, ah that was charity, and charity is always right. He was an orphan, was he?" ''I didn't stop to ask." replied the boy 'I gave him the money for licking @ boy who upset my dinner basket"
 A young lady was yesterday standing on the wharf at the foot of Second street, waving her handkerchief at a schooner lying Tn the stream. Know anybody on bOard?" queried her companion, as he | came along. "No, I don't: but they are l waving their handkerchiefs at me, "she re- piled. "Hand (haD ker (hooD chiefsT he | exclaimed, dropping his basket and lean- mems men s shists hqngPp to dryr ,shsyavsa
 A rather singular scene occurred at the | depot Friday afternoon. A lady was going by when gentleman stepped out | and said to her: "How'd dolY extending his hand and smiling cheerfully. 'I beg | pardon, said she. looking hard at him '.you have the advantage of me-" "Why, l don't you know me 2" he asked, amazed. l ''I can't remember you," she said. "Why, l used to be your husband-John Angus | tus Henderson, you know" She remem- bered him. .-Daadu'y Neaos. .0
 Lamb was out serenading one of the | Metcalf girls, and she was leaning out of l the window, with shutters bowed, so that 1 he could not see her. Lambs little tune had one high note, and he struck it sud- denly, and with such force it made her jump. She lost her foothold, fell out and | described half a somersault, one foot hit | ting Mir. Lamb square in the face, the | other smashing the top of hls guitar. | Simply circulating ''Gosh!' he leaped up | from the gutter and fled. under the inn | pression that old Metcaf had thrown 8 bed at him, while Lucretia picked the catgut and basswood from her toes, twist cd up her back hair and went into the | house. Lamb stopped visiting her. and shortly after he married the widow Jones. -DGHJUry Netos.