The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-05-13

pcrfoun respcc for man that Kin make
mummy: and what that man tole me give me
such vcucrashun for the kommt do that
were almost 'iraid Tor TO speak TO him when
I seen him agin. So shuk the man by the
han, told him "thanky." went UP stars
to the harr, kane dek, and confined my OBJ
survaShuns TO the o>hun.
Mersiful fathers! what quontty wv wa
ter. On my lei wuZ II miles or mo to dry
land. and on my right wuz water for ) SOLID
thousun miles-spang to lurup. Ashy and
Aniky. SO stood up by the wa'kIn-beam,
which is like the gailbustnist par Nv still
,utis in constant motion, and postrohzed that
Dampncss in the words folrin-to wit:
",n the name Nv skiusnc," says |, why
should thar be cny mo- drouts in this world,
spcshly in old Vurjinya, whar they has 'em
wti>s aud wuSs every year. Here is the sea-
sand on the sca-sho' 10 make milyun wv
busuin glasses. Here's the dirt on the ian.
to make the brick TO build tower Nv Babel
every ten miles. and here's the sunshine (no
cud Nv ii in drouty wcathcr) to heat eny
number NV slowiy.revolyn bilerS 10 make
the steam 10 drive the masheenery TO draw
the water TO the tops NV the. towers, Whench
il Kin he disseminated in akyduck' and troi!s
clean up to the Bloc Ridi, whar Gunner Wise
SaE luz tuS Siou's (Si .h''
Is eny couds), and thar can't be no drout
excep in the Valy, whar it didn't rain for 3
wears hand runnin."
But you says, the water that's drawd
out'n the Sc is salt water, that amt good fur
the helth Nv no crap but the crap Nv sick
foxes that comes up IN town and sittieS every
su inner; so your >kcam ain't wutb shux."
Sir | says to the machinery mau that
WIZ d"batin with me, "you don't read no
Popllr SniuE>c MunthIy, and you don't know
lharS nuthln skiunSc can't do? Sir, | has
that faith in skiunce that know thar is kim.
INV kills SumWhar that can vapiratc and 'clppy-
tate the salt water as it runs long in the trots
and make it yaiIlbi for purposes NV urriga-
ton, and so put end to drouts tureyer and
fureycr. And sir" | says, flingin Nv my fist
on high, "I'm .~inc TO Moo Iark and put
nv >keam in opcrashuu, and git 50 rich in
about 9 munths that Stourt and Vanderbilt
will take %bar hats of 10 my shadder every
time ii turns the cornder."
Br that time wuZ carryin on 50 With my
maGjuerv adyurscry that one-haf the pas
seny,rs and krew had gethered on the star
bud scuppernongs Il amt bin to sea for
uuthiu) TO see whit waZ arfter, and the
Mate sung out to me that II dG'u-come
down from thar and quit hoppin my arms
he'd cat-S -9.lail me with the Spanker-gu1
and seud me TO Quorunleen quicker n
lightnn.
RI had bin at home mungst my trcns,
| and the mate had bin small and very skeery
msn. | would'n stud that; but peln
| straninr clear out NV his cllynent on top NV
slcembolc, l quit postrehzn and slept
| down.
Tncn it wuz that a utterly Orknownster
come to me, and says:
my yenerbu iren, not meanin' to be im-
pertenent, what takes you to Moo lArk:"
This steambote,' says.
"Too thin,'' he says. Tell me, and may
be | kin be Nv some a,sistunce to YOU
"No you DON'T think /. You Moo
Yarl iclcrs is very ku,e, but you can't git
no sheer in my Burnin Glass Anti.Drout
skcam." Then | says out loud and very
pcrIite. but solIum. ''BiZUi>S takes me
Noth.'
~ know" he says, "biznisS Is biZnl>s;
bu, tell me, and prcDaps l kin keep you from
gittin into trubl."
want esy in my mind bout going so
far Moth by my lune sell, SO thought ia
! better tell him.
"Wcll," / says, "the Emeryao Briiisho-
| Nlrgnio Ian ana Settlers Association hllt
* IYrctn iu Foinril the other day, JedSe
Frank MT Wolku IN the cheer, and on
| mo>hun Nv Mr.. }. III. i. =. G. ID. SlnaEdrew,
! seconded hy Mr. Moth, and thurded by Mr..
Bag, &p:ated lar Il CDmUity Nv One III the
Hole 70 vizlt your seck>hun for to draw upa
rcpJtc ia urlt!n Nv the tynanshal, social,
and prrltlcal condishun Nv the Notb, and
cspe>ny the true teeius NV the DAmyaL kys
to"ai ds the SOUTH
| Mr.. OnknowE>tcr WIZ set back a good'eel
by lhi>. He did'n hardly kno how to take
| il. Finally. be come TO tic concluShun (t
seen BY The qucr way he loCkt at me) that |
were badly crackt IN luy inteljuuce, and he
says:
| Ibid you say 'Damyankys ?"
| Il did," says.
| "WclI." says he, "did'n you read that
| sigL-post up i'll Jim fullerS bar-room-
Frcn, swar not:''
Il did," says |. Il know it's asin the
| rules. but swar | thought Damyankys wuZ
thar full name"
Says he, You'll have to drap that. Ef
| you don't keep Siri tung in yore he'd up
Moth you'll git bustid in bizniss befo you
| begin"
Never you mind bout me-" / says.
| % You see. us Dmokrats is comm into power
next turn, and wcwan't TO know what to DO
| with you Notn people, and how to treat you.
| Ef YOU ar still rebelious we'll hav to slap
Ginral Jubull Urly unto you; but eli you IS
meek and lowly, sorry for what you done,
willin' to take the 9th to jeff. Davis, ana take
COniederit money at pear. why, then well
| make lcrge invcsmens, rent some Nv them
empty stos on Broadway, opn them ldli m'Is
| in Moo Inglun, put down them Pencl'Vany
miners. nut none but loyai southun men IN
offs, aud deal gentle, fairly, llbrully, ana gen-
| rusty with you genruly. But the nam
| thing is TO cit some relabut lniormashum
'pout the thoughts. feeIps, opinuns, SEN
timents. intenshuns purposes, setry, setry,
Nv the DamyanKys-I bes pardin, the 1an-
| kys."