Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-02-12
humorous skrtebes.

time IN particular, while out with an old
friend, about 20 years ago. We were ;r9.
yelling on horseback, and came across a
tavern one night about 10 O'Clock Being
very tired and hungry, as 5000 as we got
some supper aud something warm to keep
the cold out, we asked to be shown TO our
room.
On looking arour d, we found the room
had two beds III il, me of which was al
ready occupierd by two strangers, who were
snoring lVstily. The fact of there being
two bees in the room did kot surprise us,
as III lakewood taverns there were fire.
graently three beds in room. We un-
dressed and Just as was going to blow out
the light, my friend who got into bed, es-
pied the foot of one Of the strangers stick
ing through the bedclothes at the foot OF
the bed
With a suppressed chuckle, he motioned
20 me TO hold on moment; he got quietly
out of bed, and going to where the stran-
gers boots were. he took of a huge, sharp.
Mexican spur, and ard carefully adjusted
it 10 the bare heel of the unconscious stran-
ger. With another audible chucke, as he
thought of the consequences that would
follow, he got back into bed, and blew out
the light and followed him.
He soon managed to get long straw
from the bed. and reached over and tickled
the strangers foot. He instantly drew his
legs up until his knees almost touched his
chin. In doing this, he drew the spur the
whole length of his bed-fellow's leg, making
a bad scratch. The victim uttered yell,
and sprang out of bed with a muttered ex-
clama,inn that / did not make out, and
then he commenced wild dance around
the room, with his neither garment under
his arm, and making frantic Efforts either
20 dislocate his neck or to see how badly he
was hurt, all the while making examina-
tions that would have made baggageman
with Saratoga trunk on bis shoulder turn
green with envy.
The innocent cause of the trouble had
been awakened at the first yell of the VIC
tim, and in Strengthening his legs out,
scratched himself most numerically. He
did not yell and say bad words, but he
jumped out of bed and made for his friend
with the purpose Of taking vengeance, l
suppose but he had not taken two steps
before he dabbed the spur into his leg
again. The landlord then appeared with
light, followed by half the boarders in the
house. aud inquired what the matter was.
An examination brought TO light the spur,
which explained the matter. The stranger
looked sheepishly at the spur, then at his
scratch. aud finally examined his boots,
aud, with sickly smile, said: We'll, boys,
] have liv.d all my life among people who
wear spurs, but / never before saw q man
who could pull nfl his boots and leave his
spur on his foot. Ill treat in the morn.'"
JOHNNY AS A SCALPER. - Mr.. FiZZle-
top WAS in the habit Of romping and play
ing with his son Johnny, who had been i'm
portuning him to play circus. He wanted
his pa to play clown, and let himself be
scalped by Johnny. acting as a circus In
dian. On Sunday morning Fizzletop, Sr.,
WAS walking in the garden, his soul full of
emotions, and absolutely stopping over
with Sunday thoughts. He had tesla
meut on his arm, and was bending over TO
sec if the tender vegetation had been injur-
ed by the frost, when Johnny appeared
from behind a rose bush. His face was
painted, and resenbled that of a zebra and
TIGER combined. In his belt was the kitch-
en- hatchet, and the large carving knife.
while his hands were employed in holding
pitchfork with one prong, in the most ap-
proved Comauche style. Like the clown
in the circus. Fizzletop lid not suspect the
approach of the willy savage, SO he was
surprised when he heard yell that would
have iutmidated Santanta and Big Tree.
Before he could rise to ask an explanation
Johnny gave another yell, and simultaue-
ously planted the prong of the pitchfork
with fearful directness on the identical
place in which the clown was in the habit
Of receiving such favors. Now, in order to
carry ON the programme Johnny Was to
have given another yell, make another hOie
or so in his parent, then the old gentleman
was 10 beg for his life, and lay down on
his stomach, while Johnny, after pounding
his head with the hatchet was to scalp him
with his carving knife. But FiSzletop,Sr.
placed both hands upon the afflicted part,
jumped Up and down a few times, yelled
murder and uttered come choice pIoiani-
Nv that would have made stage driver en-
yious. As soon as the pitchfork came out,
Johnny wished that the river was between
,hem and the bridge washed away. The
testament missed Johuny's head, but Grip
pied the watchdog. Mackenzie's raid into
Mexico was slow compared with the pur-
,u,t of that Comancbe. NeighbOrs living
$40 wards of say the subsequent proceed
ings sounded like beating tough beaisteak
with the fat side of the meat axe. FiZZle-
top accounts for his peculiar gait by hint
ing at ,,ainful boil, while Johnny says he
wants to be an angel.
A HARD BED TO FILL.-The Junior ed
tier of the Gallatin - IS noted for his mo
d.sty. When schoolboys he and the wri-
ter were inseparable companions. probably
BECAUSE we both stood in such holy awe OF
the gals A pair of mischiev"us black
eyes would stampede US quicker than a big
dog: One day Bob was sent TO neighbor
Shaw's to inquire about some straw for BILL
ing beds and of course the writer went with
him. Mr.. Shaw was the father of six hate,
ful girls tha; had rather laugh at fellow
than not, and when we arrived they wer'
all seated at dinner. / lodged behind tht
corner while Bob edged carefully in at th'
door and with scared look stammered
"Mr. Straw can you let me have enough
.U-ou ID n