The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1875-08-02
GOSSIP.

ehD SOutOhhtNA. I iy-Jdels, pAuudulys
Why Is solar eclipse like woman
whipping her boys Because 1t is hiding
OF the sun.
The poorest coward may avoid shak-
ing in his shoes by wearing boots or 60
ing barefoot.
An English bicyclist has run 72 miles
in 8 hours and "a minutes, including A
minutes rest.
The most economical time to buy cider
is when 1t is not very clear, for then it
will settle for itself.
1t is said that s. Gross Fry Is getting
hauled SO much over the Goals that he
will soon become thin stew.
An Iowa man advertises a "wind
plUw" for sale, but who wants to plow
The wind and reap a whirlwind, any,
how?
An inquiry for s'stamped antelopes"
caused Kentucky Postmaster to look
Indignantly on q would.be colored Gus
toner the other day.
Moody will spend several weeks at his
mothers home in Northfeld, Mass, after
his arrival here, and before starting a
revival in New York.
A new play called "Ambition,n the
work of an Illinois man, is shortly to be
brought out in Chicago. 1t winds up
with a beautiful mortgage scene.
The masculine Fiji Islanders are try
ing to deprive women of their rights by
appropriating to themselves the super
intendence OF cooking their own food.
What is the difference between sper-
maceti and schoolboy's howl? One is
the wax produced by whale, and the
other is wall produced by the whacks.
Texas has q new paper called the
Thunderb0lt, and the publisher says 1t
comes "to promote the welfare, safety
and happiness Of the community in which
it is published"
In France the economists set down
the Affections OF the United States as due
to three causes: An excess Of railroads
cover 100000 miles,, paper money, and
a protective tariff.
The Herald of Health declares that
.marble.top tables are tnhealthy.0
They may be unhealthy when eaten raw.
but we can't see why they should be
when properly cooked.
Three men and cross -aye ed boy could
not lift lady's trunk at Saratoga last
week, and she had to unpack all her
pretty things in the corridor and carry
them up four flights. Poor thingl
"Why," asked a father of his little
son, edo we pray God to give us our
daily bread? Why don't we ask for
three days, or even for weekT eve
want 1t fresh," was the answer.
A western paper has this personal
item: "Those who know nice old Mr..
Wilson of this place will regret to hear
that he was assaulted in a brutal man
ner last week, but was not killed."
The charge that the Philadelphia Gen.
tennial Exhibition will be sectional in
effect is not without foundation. The
material for the observatory Is made in
sections, it arrives in sections, and is SO
being put up.
Two San Francisco politicians are
quarreling over the value of q speech
which one wrote for the other to deliver,
the author considering it cheap at 500.
The joke of it is that they belong to Cd.
posite parties.
An editor having asked an Illinois
farmer for crop news, received this an
swer: sand now the reaper reapeth,
the mower moweth, ami the little bum
b'e-bee getteth up the busy granger's
trousers-leg and bumbleth."
1t was said of lady who had lust
completed her fourth decade, and who
played very loudly on the piano, while
she never alluded to her age except in a
whisper, that she was forte upon her
piano, but piano upon her forty.
Deacon Jones said, at the weekly
prayer meeting, that every person should
cultivate torgiving disposition. After
benediction the deacon was asked to
give something for the preacher, when
he said he was not for giving that way.
The Comstock Lode, in Nevada, is said
by a recent visitor to be pouring out a
thick stream of pure silver amour ting
to $50,00 every twenty-four hours. No
wonder Senator Jones talks of buying
the Smithsonian institute for private
residence.
A tramp who called upon Danbury
woman was shocked to hear an answer
to his appeal tor food: "Ne; we've got
nothiu' for the likes of you. Washing
toms monument isn't finished yet, and
everything we've got to spare must be
given for that"
A Philadelphia minister, who does not
believe in ghosts, threw brick through
| the front window Of house that was
| said to be haunted, and the result was
hasty exit Of a number of tramps and
sneak thieves who had made the empty
house their headquarters.
"Jessie, what was Joe's arm DOING
| round your waist when you were at Che
| front gate last night" asked a preeo-
cious boy of his sister. ellis arm wasn't
round my waist; won belt from him.
and he was taking my measure" replied
the indignant young lady.
"But, to resume" says an Ohio orator
habitually at the beginning of eyery
branch OF his argument. He has been
cautioned against the habit by his Dem
ocratie friends, who tell him that when
on the stump he must commence eyery
sentence, "Blt, TO initiate"
The Chicago balloon reporter always
begins like this: "The monster shin.
freighted with it's living cargo, shot mn.
ward into the boundless vacuIty OF aerial
space" Merely saying that s.tne balloon
went up pretty tast," would be playing
into the hands Of the other papers,
A young man who was vain of his per.
sonal appearance and geneaIogy, was
telling how he got his nose from ascele-
brated grandfather, his mouth from an
equally distinguished uncle, his forehead
from his intellectual father, his eyes from
his beautiful mother, ETC., ETC., when a
gentleman exclaimed: aYes, yes, nv
dear fellow, that is all very plain. buf