, 1875-11-21

Lumberman'e Lodge is also raising subacrip-
ton for library and is meeting with crafty 6
---&--
| HUMOR.
In Cairo they have named their champion
baseball club the Qui Nine.
Why was the cleansing Of the Augean stables
like piece Of ancient Mexican postaryBare !?
Because it WAS sn Aztec kind OF job.
The difference between the tenant and the
son Of poor widow has been ascartaiued to bs
this: The tenant has to pay rents; the son Of
| poor widow has not two parenta.
| whole session" said an d. P. to fellow nah-
bar. "Oh! yes, I hase," was the reply; II
yawned through the whole Of your speech"
Sofa. 80 Good.-A1rs. Partingtou isn't at all
surprised to hear that the Ottoman something is
the seat Of Dissatisfaction Give her good old
fashioned sofy il you wAnss to sit like Chris
tian.
Quiz has been out after ducks, and says ho
would deal rather shoot at = bird on the wing.
than when it's still; because, In the former case,
there's possibility, you know, Of it's flying in
front OF the shot
Right in the shadow Of the honest milkuan, =,
| mean-epirited cynic sits and says: 'eThi1reen
million nilch COWS in this country assist to color
the water for which ths average American citizen
| pays cents quart"
"Waa the crowd tumultuous ?" inquired ona
man OF another who had just come from mass-
! meeting 'Too mutuoua>" replied the other
"Oh. no! just about multuoua enough to coGa-
| fortably fill the kah"
| This Ia the kind Of weather that makes the
| dAshlng young man wish that, instead Of SPEND
! ing dollar and half for that rnassiye diamond
pin last summer, he had iudiciously invested it
| IN pair OF winter drawers-
lady put her watch under her pillow the
other night, but couldn't keep It there because
it disturbed her sleep: And there al the time,
WAS her bed-ticklng right underneath her, aud
abe never thought Of that at MI.
4 uniser in the river fell. Tho wavo
Ran high fisherman, his H{a to save,
sprang in aud cried; Give me your hand,
And will draw you safely to the land"
The msur, shuddering 1t the hateful sound,
Auttered, ;" never give 7-and 10 IVES drowned.
FROM the German,
4 Detroit man, anxious to protect himself
from the frequent and annoying visits Of travel
ing agents and patent-1ights men. has put ire
insurance plate over the door Of his house, a
sewing machine in the window, q patent wash
: ipg-machine on the porch, patent hat-rack OK
tension in the hall, and q ightniug-rod on tho
roof.
'Tis remarkable what effect wooden tooth
picks have on some people. We noticed one
young man who went out after each act at the
theatre few evenings since- Hie fair partner.
toward the close Of the entert ainment, asked
him what mads his tongue 60 thick2 IS Mus be
70 toothpicks. Pint aharpez'n semin' chino
needle"
a little fellow, who vaa at neietbots house
about noon the other day watched the prepare
ticns Tor dinner with great deal Of interest,
but, when asked to stay and eat something, no
promptly refused; Why. yes, Johnny, you'd
neSseT stsy saad Tie Lax WY eans you
mustn't unless you aek me three times" They
invited him twice more right of.
4 family living on Cass avenue found COOL
thickness OF cream on some milk that had boon
standing over night; and, when the milkman
made his usual eall the pleased housewife 81,
to see this" The man looked 1t tho cream,
winRed wisely, and solemn1y scratched hin head,
and replied: ''We1, don't know what aila it
but you can throw it out, and I'll give you
fresh pint in its place "-Letrois Free Press.
The other day, yicksbulg father. finding it
''Don't stuff yicsuals into your month that way,
mT son George Washington didn't eat after
without comment, and. after pondeElns for
awhile, be remarked to himself: !" And / don't
believe George Washington licked bis boy for
finding bottle Of whisky in the shed when h.
vas hunting after horseshoe, either!"- Vicks-
An eccentric phi1anth1opist in Plymouth Coun-
ty devotes much OF hls spare time and all his
spare cash to the education and training OF three
children whom he has adopted One Sunday
afternoon the younger OF the boys came in after
an absence Of the whole day, and Was met With
tho question: - Where have yoa been?" ITO
sabbath-school, Mr. Wentworth, as We will cali
the gentleman. s. Well what do you go to Sab
bath-school 1or? What have you learnt At the
Eabbath-school aoytow?7 az bare learnt ait
about the Pilgrims. Mr. Wentworth" "Ob,
have y6u7 Who we're the Pilgrims, then -
''The Pilgrims we're body OF men who loved
the Lord, and when tho Lard went up sto5
watched him till he got clean out Of sight md
then they come over to Plymouth"
The following advertisement appeared in .
number ot the Manchester (Eng.) Guardian:
a 41n.1 living in South Hants is o1erud 10 prirt
quaioted .tsa music Ithe 7toonce1o peeferrea; i'd
dress to Alpha. Of Nezzzs. Houghton Gnnn 1c2
New Round street. ".
From the fact that the living OF Brockan1arss
was the ouly one vacant in South Hants st tho
time and from it's being we'll known ttat tho
Squire OF this Parrish in whose gift the living is,
to be devoted vurHhiper ar tho
ahrlne Of St. Cecells, no difficulty existed in yiv-
Ing to Alpha local habitation aud da pxme The
was then cast into rhgme as fol-
lows
He5, dtdd1e eaiddls, priest that cn ndale
1s H1Qted for Aockeuhusat, Hanss:
Ye reverend fellows with rioloncellos,
lust call IN at Johnnie Mozzuts.
4 correspondent writing fsom 0glethospe, Ga,
gives Al interesting story Of meeting OF color
ed Hethodists- Elder Thomas delivered i st1r-
ring serznon and after it's close ono The broth
era got ready for shouting. But the minister
cried out 81 Hold op, brothers and sisters.
don't shout yeti" He then ordered all the
benches moved to one end 6t the house, which
was done. Then Brother Dick Smith put On bis
hat and marched srornd the room- This Was
the signal, and the brothers and sistezs let oose
With fearful dr. ''Shout, Children, 1ntli tho
snd sinner shout, Miss Susan }ancey, why ains
you sboutin' thar? Brother Dick Smith, tire up
thnt nnconyarted corner o.er dar! Put EN- to
Bhoutin'!" Then Brother Smith marched out OF
ine aronnd three times, all shouting at the tops
oi thsix Yqiees, they 1s~sRtakaa the shp1eA