Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1875-06-01
THE sUITEM HOUSE.


strive and suees. ProprietORs.
saFosAcEous sPR1Ke, N. z.
This hotel has been built and arranged
for the special comfort and convenience
Of hummer boarders. On arrival each
guest will be asked how he likes the stu
alton, and If be says the hotel ought TO
have been placed upon the knoll or fur
Their down toward the village, the loca-
ton of the house will be Immediately
changed. Corner front rooms, up only
one light, for every guest. Baths, gas,
water-cioset, hot and cold water, laundry.
Telegraph, restaurant, ire-alarm, bar
room, daily paper, coupe, sewing ma
chine, grand piano, a clergyman, and all
other modern convenienees. In every
room. Meals every minute. If desired
and consequently no second table. Eng
lish, French and German dictionaries
furnished guests to make up such a bill
OF fare as he may desire, without regard
to the bill affair sfterward in the once.
Waters Of every nationality and color
desired. Every waiter furnished With a
hbretto, button-hole bouquet, full dress
suit ball tablets, and his hair parted In
the middle. Every guest will have the
best seat in the dining hall, and the best
waiter in the house,
ANY guest not getting his breakfast
red-h0t, or experiencing a delay of six
teen seconds after giving his order for
dinner, will please mention the fact at
the office, and the cooks and walters will
be blown from the mouths of cannon in
front of the hotel at once. Children will
be welcomed with delight, and are re-
quested to bring hoop-sticks and haw-
keys TO bang the carved rosewood furni-
ture especially provided for that pur-
pose, and peg tops to spin on the velvet
carpets; they will be allowed to bang on
the pianos at all hours, yell in the halls,
slide down the banisters, fall down stairs,
carry away dessert enough for a small
family in their pockets at dinner, and
make themselves as d~isagreeable as the
fondest mother can desire.
Washing allowed in rooms, and ladies'
giviag an order to put me on a fiat
iron, will be put on one at any hour Of
the day or night. A discreet waiter,
who belongs TO the Masons, 0dd-Fellows
and Knights Of Pythias, and who was
never known to even tell the time Of day,
has been employed TO carry milk punches
and hot toddies to ladies' rooms in the
evening.
Every lady will be considered the belle
of the house, and row boys win answer
the belle promptly, Should any row boy
tail to appear at a guests door with a
pitcher Of ice water, more towels, q gin
cocktail and pen. ink and paper before
the guests hand has left the bell-knob,
be will be branded Front on the fore
head and imprisoned for life.
The Office clerk has been carefully se-
lected to please everybody, and can lead
in prayer, play draw poker, match worsted
at the village store, shake for the drinks
at any hour, day or night, play billiards,
a good waltzer, and can dance the Ger
man, make a fourth at euehre, amuse
children, repeat the Beecher trial from
memory, is a good judge Of horses, as a
railway or steamboat reference is far SUI
perior to Appleton's or anybody else's
guide, will airt with any young lady, and
not mind being cut dead when pa comes
down" Don't mind being damned any
more than q Connecticut river. Can
room forty people in the best room in the
house, when the hotel is full, attend to
annunciator and answer questions in
Greek, Hebrew, Choetaw, Irish, or any
other polite language, at the same mo-
ment, without turning a hair.
Dogs allowed in any room in the house.
including the W(h)ine-room. Gentlemen
can drink, smoke, swear, chew, gamble.
stare atthe new arrivals, and indulge in
any other innocent amusement common
to watering places, 10 any part Of the
hotel. The landlord will always be han
Ply to hear that some other hotel is the
best house in the country" Special At
tention given to parties who can give in
formation as to 'how these things are
done in Yewrup." The proprietor will
take It as a personal aifront If any q
on leaving should fail 10 dispute his bill,
tell him that he is a swindler, his house
a barn, his table wretched, bis wines vile
and that he, the guest, was never so inn
posed upon in his life, will never stop
there again, and means to warn his
friends.
A Very Strange LEdy.
waalthv Enoltah o;do. &c tha 6rst