The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-05-27
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

AN open letter: o. Isl. s.a
EARLY retiring will shorten ones
days.
WHISKY is now accused of sinking the
Schiller t-
IT is sand that there is twice as much
nutriment in pound of mutton as in a
pound of salt pork.
THE approved glove for street wear
has three buttons, with simple stitch
ing on the back of the same shade as the
glove. -
A sUPERcn1ous attention to minute
formalities is a certain indication of a
little mind conscious of the want of in
nate dignity.
BEING asked what made him SO dirty,
an unwashed street Arabs reply was:
81 was made, as they tell me, of dust,
and suppose it works out"
How BLESSED is the son ofwoman born
Who never felt the sting Of corn,
Or smarted like ten thousand onions
With blistering bands of blasted bunions.
MADAME THEIRS, who now sets the
French fashions, instead of the Empress
Eugene, is responsible for revival of
calicoes in the fashionable world.
WE should so live and labor that what
came to us as seed may go to the next
generation as blossoms, and what came
to US as blossoms may 60 to them as
fruit.
"Do YOU know who l am?" asked a
policeman of fellow whom he had
seized by the throat. "Not exactly, sir;
but l fancy you are the malignant
collarer."
THE national "sass," Kansas; the
national pie, Mississippi; the national
hatchway, all those States possessed by
the grasshoppers; the worst card in the
pack, Ten-ace-see?
A SINGLE queen bee will produce 100,-
900 bees in a season; the 100000 bees
will produce so, 900 swollen heels and the
sale of twenty-five barrels of arnica.-
Western Statistician.
LADIES' dresses are now made so mar
row in Paris that it is almost impossible
to raise the skirts, and an ingenious mod
iste there has issued instructions to her
customers how to accomplish this feat.
THE general raking up of old things,
incidental to the contentious epidemic,
has brought to light the fact that Wash
ington was not large man, and that he
wore immense boots.
"WHo is that statue off," asked a
lady of her husband, pointing to an
"Apollo." "The Apollo Belvidere.
Claw! how affectionate you are, my
love! And now, darling, who was Apollo
Belvy?" An explanation on pronuncia
tion followed.
"Now, MY son." said Brooklyn
father, "take this castor oil, or out you
20 through the window" Boo-hoo'
hoo," said the little man, after applying
the point of the spoon for moment to
his lips. "Me can't take it, papa. Fo
me out de winner"
In Nevada napkins are use at table
but when they have eggs for dinner the
mother remarks: "Now, Bill, you an
the rest just stick to yer sleeves and let
the edge of the table-cloth alone, like yel
belonged to decent society, or I'll baste
the pelts off your backs"
"OLD T1e," owned by Mrs. Susan Will
,o,, of Fact W;1,no+ N TT is q uondar
full horse. He Is known to be thirty
years old, is perfectly sound, has the ap'
pearance and vigor Of a colt, does all the
work on good farm, and last fall trotted
a mile on a track in 3:46.
BY declining to eat things that you
want because they are unhealthy, by go
ing to bed early when you want to sit
up, and by making your life wretched in
thousand ways you have chance Of
living to ripe old age, if that is any
satisfaction to you.-Erchange.
CHARLES BRTToN, of Pennsylvania
shot himself because he had the dyspep
sia. What would he have done to him
self if he had had the toothache, or boi
on the back of his neck, or hole in the
elbow of his coat, or button out of his
shirt, or any other great affiiction?
ETHAN ALLEN said to the commander
of Ticonderoga: Get up, you white
livered scoundrelm but the historian has
thought proper to make him remark
"Arise, my respected friend, and sur
render this establishment as soon as yol
conveniently can."-Roctester Democrat
IT is said that during the thirteen year.
that Oliver Charlick was President of thu
Long Island Railroad he never drew any
part of his salary, although it had beer
fixed by the Board of Directors at sic, ,0O(
a year. This makes $130,00O, which hi
estate will, of course, call upon the com
pany to pay up.
"THAT ar patch of grounds mem'ri
ble," said an Omaha man, pointing to
grave all by itself outside the town.
reckin you'll know that, stranger, whel
you see it ag'in. The ockypant of tha
was the furst man Horrus Greeley eve
told to git West-likewise he was hum
for stealin' a mewl."
A FELLOW in Kentucky ran away wit
a farmers daughter and horse and wa
hotly pursued. The farmer got With
close range and flourished revolver
Don't shoot, for Heavens sake!
shouted the lover. 81 WON'T" was the re
ply, "cause Pm afeared I'll hit the
hoss. Just leave ther hOss and take the
gal" That compromise was accepted b
the young folks, who walked on to
preachers house, and the father rod
home on his horse.
A sUBsCRIPTIoN-BooK concerns printe
instructions to it's agents contain the TO
lowing, which may be interesting to bu.
ers as well as sellers: Always secu1
the most influential men first. Nevt
fail to do this, as your success depend
wholly upon it. If in no other way, g
them conditionally-i. e., have them sig
your canvassing book, even if on cond
ton that they may take the book or NJ
when you come to deliver it. The ge
ting of leading names is the great turl
ing point of success in canvassing. Tt
influence of example is of incalculab
advantage to the canvasser. If any
these leading people are unable to buy
assist as a helper, then ask for the
names to head your list for the sake {
their influence; the condition being tn
they are at liberty to take the book I
not when you bring it. The object is
- A. =. -....a. u. laad tha l;rA a