Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-09-23
VARIETY AND HUMUR.

INV w NM % Siil pot-->SHiI " iitu SiiS
isn't in.
-Sunstroke has numbered few victims
during the present season.
Shoes made of rattlesnake skin are
coming into fashion in Alabama.
Goldsmith Maid is nineteen years
old. For one of her age isn't she rather
fast?
The statement that glycerine will
remove" treckles is true only of nitro
glycerine.
Why is the letter q the handiest in the
alphabet? Because when in use you al.
ways find ii before II.
Wait until the morning of Sept
%. Then you will wake up and find the
sun in an eclipse:
A church at Ticonderoga has been
converted into cheese factory. The mite
society will meet there, as usual
The first question you should AK a
man when he begins to tlatter you is !:
How large is the AK you want to
grind?"
The largest bridge in the Territories
IS now in course of construction across the
Bear River, on the Utah Northern line,
its length being 2, 100 feet.
There are several roads to the divorce
courts, but there is none more travelled
than the one cid the fashionable dress and
bonnet making establishments
The medical advisers of a delicate
Massachusetts murderer certify that in the
present state of his health ii would serious
ly jeopardize his life to be hanged.
TO be always thinking about your
is tho W. IN l,a,
good, because the very perfection of man.
ners is not to think about yourself.
Down in Georgia they talk of the de-
suuctive wrath OF parent who shot a
pedagogue in the abdomen the other day
for interviewing his boy with rattan.
When Georgia planters have to attach
burglar-alarms to each separate chicken
to prevent it from being taken of the
roost at midnight the poultry must wonder
what this country is coming to.
-Four different times during the pres
ent year has the American eagle been
whipped by ROSTERS, and yet we are told
day after day that we must preserve our
reverence for the bird of liberty
=" Harvey, you can rest awhile and |
will spread the hay" is what David
Sweat, of Webster, N. H., aged ninety
two, said TO his son after working on the
farm all the morning the other day.
-ltis asserted by some lcather-visaged
bachelor that the average girl of the PEE
Rod never eats watermelon before her
lover. She fears the contrast of the red
and white of nature with that of her face.
There is suggestion with money in
it in this paragraph floating about: "a
Chicago barber cleared $4,000 last year
They say he employed mutes, and did
not try TO sell his customers his HAIR
1nvigorator.'
-" You're always off at nights, Lean
DER" said Mrs. Spilkins, responsibility,
the other evening. eyes, my dear" re-
piled Spilkins. "You'll remember, even
when first proposed you considered me
a pretty good offer
Senator Sharon is certainly not to be
envied in his task Of settling up the great
California bankers tangled estate. In his
case it can't be said, in the words of the
poet:
How sweet the breath beneath the hill
OF sharon's due-y woes.
"A Brooklyn young man committed
suicide recently by firing three bullets in
TO his head and subsequently dragging
himself out into the kitchen and cutting
his throat with carving-knife. 1t is sad
to hear of the untimey end of one so
promisingly persistent.
"A little three-year. who had often
been reproved for eating the inside and
leaving the crusts of her pie was recently
afflicted with sore toe. One day, when
at dinner, she was observed to slyly re-
move the crust Of her pie and place il
under her plate while eating the inside
On being discovered she innocently re-
piled: Well, papa, my toe is so sore
couldn't eat the crust
A fair sample Of journalistic expert.
ence IS furnished by Lexington (ky.)
paper, whose telegraph editor got sleepy,
retired for the night, and left the intclli-
gent compassion to wrestlc with his foreign
dispatches. The next morning thefollow-
ing item appeared in the Geographic |
columns OF the Lexington paper 9 Dis
patch rom Vienna reports that radicals |
been victorious in elections in Seria |
Deutchez Suitzung States radicles will |
move in skuptgchina but Scvia send army |
10 Herzegovina to assist in Sugenes."
How much is there spent on dress in |
season at Saratoga II would be "a curl |
Gus puzzle to solve. At a rough guess at |
least loD,0oO people visit this village every |
year. Two-thirds of these are women, or, |
say, at a round figure, G0,0O0 The aver
age number Of dresses-and, for conven- !
fence sake, well leave out such trifies as
Oonnets, gloves, pencils, ctc.-brought by |
each OF these 10000 fair ones may be safe
ly set down at ten, and Of these One.half |
are certainly new. Two hundred dollars |
Tor an average Saratoga dress is a pretty /
low computation; but let it pass-let US
be generous and not swell their husbands
bills TO more than they already are. That
would give US $4,000 spent by each fair