The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1875-08-11
Tne soda Fountain BOY.

He was r1nsiDg the glasses when
the old lady entered the store. II
was hot weather, and the soda foun-
tain looked so tempting that she con-
auered her avarIce and walked over
and told the boy that she would take
a glass.
DO you wish for fly In it?' he
inquired in whisper.
A fly grashus! no I she replied,
iookFof disgust on her face.
Just as you say, madam" he went
on as he drew some lemon syrup
People are so different In tastes, you
know Some object to flies and some
don't. I'll mix some pineapple syrup
with this lemon, and now will you
have great deal of gas and a little
/. water, or a great deal Of water and
a little gas.'
IN purity thirsty she said
Well, then you want more water
than gas, and there won't be SO much
danger of an explosion.
Explosion? % she Queried.
That was the word, madam. We
have had but few such accidents here
this summer, and truly hope that
we may have no more.
Does soda water blow up folks p
That depends on the state of their
health. Some people could stand
, here and drink all day, while others
might get the glass tipped up this
way. and boom! they'd go!
Bust ?"
Yes 'm-fy into thousand pieces
: You never saw human being ex-
plode, did you 2"
Mercy. no !"
well, you don't have the least
warning. They may be laughing or
! talking, and all at once the store is
filed with false hair, monogram gar
tiers, bustles, corsets, feet, teeth and
rolled plate ieWeiry. 1t ma kes great
muss around here, and if We hadn t
three OF the smartest negroes in town
to pick up and sweep out we'd have
!. to shut up the store for whole after
noon alter an explosion
He stood with the glass in his hand
agitating the syrup and waiting, and
she said:
Il didn't suppose it was dangerous
stuff.
well, as I told you, it depends on
the state of the system. II your liver
is torpid and your digestion impaired,
one glass of soda water would blow
you. higher than Gilderoy's kite, and
the coroner would be lucky to find as
much as your spectaeles to hold an
inquest on. If your system is all
right, you might drink hundred
glasses and feel no disastrous effects.
Now, then, you'll have good deal of
water and but little gas, eh ?i 4
She made deprecatory motion and
asked
"How's the stuff made"
Well, / cant go on and explain all
the process. There's marble dust,
acid, gas, sugar coated pills, giant
powder, cologne-water and kerosene
all mixed together and then distilled.
The distilled liquid is placed in a re-
tort. where chemical action sepa-
rates it, and the gas forces it up sepa-
rate pipes.
Kerosene and pills!" she gasped. +
That's what | said, madam. You
look innocent and honest, and / hope
you wont say anything about it. [
tend this fountain in order to support
a widowed mother and seven father
less children. If you should say any
thing I'd be discharged, and if / were
discharged / should commit suicide.
You'll have plenty Of water, eh ?''
No. sir, / won't she replied.
do you suppose I'd drink acids and
kerosene?'
Not in their crude state, madam,
but this process
Il don't care for the process p she
snapped; Il wouldn't touch the
stuff /"
ut is a mild beverage, madam, and
the doc"
We'll, / don'tgan't any. When
go to swallering tar and lard and
Kerosene you'll know it! 'Spose I'd
drank some and explode r
Don't mention it, he whispered.
Don't speak Of it p
m sorry for you, young man. but |
there's constable living right in |
sight of our house, and l think-I-l
I-I'
You'll drive me to a suicides
grave, you mean p
She lowered lter spectacles, took a
long look at him, and went out with
put replyiBg-Detroit Free Press.