Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-06
Odds and Ends.

ACCORDING to slang, Delaware is s'iust.
old peaches" of state.
ALL news from Herzegovina is revolt
ting.
Two foot rules should cover danc.-
ing.
QUICK sail and small FORTHCOMING,
in second at yacht race.
WHAT men going down hill want
Checks.
FORTUNE is like market, where many
times, if you wait, the prices will fall
Bacon.
OVER 60 students have applied for ad-
mission to the Chicago Theological
Seminary.
ONE-FoURTH of the total valuation Of
the real estate of New York city is under
mortgage.
THERE is but one love to which we
are never lnconstant, and that is ones,
love for ones self.
A NUMBER of cattle have been killed.
in Nicollet county, Mimi, by getting
into the sorghum fields.
LIVE beyond your means, ana You.
will soon find it beyond your means to,
live.
IF We would not fatter ourselves the
fattefy OF others could not harm u.s.
Rochefoucauld.
OF the 1,30O, O00,0 900 human beings In
this wicked world, 100000, 900 have no
paper or writing materials.
Doctor to wounded Carlists: "Why
did you seek shelter behind the rocks ?s''
"The rocks were too few, and had been
all occupied by our officers, DOCTOR
THERE is Scotch looking glass
maker who heads his advertisements
with quotation from Burns: "The-
giftie gle us to see oursels as ithers see
U.S."
A STORY is told of an Irishman, who.
bound over to keep the peace against all
her majesty's subjects, exclaimed:
CITIZEN heaven help the first foreigner Z
meet p
IT has been seven years since James
Woods, of Philadelphia, was sober.
James must be the able unknown who
is Just now furnishing snake stories for
the Press. -Couraer-youa7aol.
CONDUCTOR GARRISON, of the Erie
Railroad, is lucky man. He has been
conductor thirty years, and never kill
ed a nan with his train nor had a pas
senger SO much as scratched.
AN old bachelor reading that sstwo,
lovers vii! sit up half the night with
one chair in the ROOM" said, Glowing
must be inconvenient, for it could not
be done unless one Of them sat on the
floor"
A KANSAS Court has decided that a.
man and wife can go into the circus on
one ticket, they being one flesh. The.
proprietors never heard such Kansas
nine decision.
SIX maiden ladies eni ered railroad
car in New England. They were not;
offered seats, and sang, s'Stand up for
Jesus, which they did till they reached
the next station, Is Iyndall vindi,
Gated?
A GERMAN officer wouldn't let SOL
der go to hospital, believing that he
feigned illness. The soldier fell dead
on parade. AS there is no provision
for such cases in the military code, the
martinez will not be punished.
A BUFFALO physician who has under
gone the operation which was so accu-
rately described in the case of Clara
Morris, says it is absolutely painless.
Iron at white heat produces merely a,
tickling sensation on the flesh.
'sIt is strange muttered young
man, as he staggered home from a sup
per party. how evil communications
corrupt good manners. I've been sur
rounded by tumblers all the evening, .
and now I'm a tumbler myself
One of our tavern keepers actually
blushed when departing guest, on
paying for nights lodging, kindly
pressed another half dollar into the
hosts hand, with the request to give
those bedbugs one square meal, anyhow.
st. antonio Herold.
A COUNTRY youth, who desired to-
know how to become rich, sent shil
ling in answer to an advertisement, and
received the following valuable recipe:
/" Increase your receipts, and decrease
your expenditures. Work eighteen
hours day, and live on hash and oat-
meal Cruel.
A MAN who cheats in short measure Isl
q measureless rougue. ii IN whisky,
then he is rogue In spirit. Ii by
classifying his accounts, then he IS an
unaccountable rogue. Ii he gives q.
bad title to land, then he is rogue IN
deed. II he gives short measure ID
wheat, then he Is rogue in grain.
A MAN in Eldora, Iowa, married again
the week after his wife's death, and his
neighbors gave deafening charivari.
The bridegroom finally appeared at a
window and administered scathing
rebuke to the crowd, in this manner
g ain you ashamed Of yourself to- be
making noise about my house, when
a funeral took place here but four days
ago2''
A LADY leaving one of the summer re-,
sort hotels last week was charged with
an entire china toilet set. only one piece
of which she had broken. She paid the
bill, and pleading the excuse OF having
forgotten something, returned to the
room and broke each and every article
of the set, for which she had paid