The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
THE ORIGIN OF MAN.
After Darwin.
-v~a~.~--

CHAPTER I.
Twas lovely summer morning in the
year 9OO1 before Christ The woods of
Senegambia were clothed in the fairest
costume the lovely birds were chirping
and singing their morning laws the sky
was one vast sheet of blue Everything.
| In short, was full of sweetness and light.
except the lovely Lady Adeliza de Chin
panzee. She was in the dumps. Mood
| ly she rubbed her shoulder against q
huge palm tree, and while performing
that act heayed vast sigh. just at that
moment her mamma dropped from the
! tree above her.
MY daughter, said the Duchess de
Chimpanzee, 'twhy that sigh2"
4" All, mamma, look at me- said Lady
| Adelza. "See how different am from
| the rest of our tribe. See how white
am becoming"
| languidly, as she seated herself on q
! convenient bowlder, 'tYou should be
proud of the difference. We are high
er race
ss I don't know, mamma. See what
little caudal appendages we have all the
other folks can hang from trees by their
j tails, but we are compelled to sit on the
limbs.
ssWe are advancing, my dear. You
/ are WIllteT Cluu aul you CaA1l G&AlK III
your youth could not till middle age !;
! your grandmother, as you know, can
only grnnt it. You are moving to a
| higher sphere"
| "Well, mamma, none of our folks will
marry me- said Lady Adeliza, pouting
ssNo, my child; it has been decreed
that there should be selection of the
fittest in marriage. We have offered
you to the Prince d'Orang Outang,
who is even winter than you are, as a
wife
ssOh, mamma" gushed the Lady
Adeliza, s'that's splendid. Will he come
! soon2"
Restrain yourself. People of high
blood and short caudal appendages never
get excited. He will be here in short
i time
Lady Adeliza went away to look for
cocoanuts the Duchess sat on the rock,
and refectively scratched her head.
CHAPTER u.
The Duke de Chimpanzee was chief
of very large tribe. If he had been in
| the show business he would have made
his everlasting fortune. He had but one
child, the Lady Adeliza, and, as she
would inherit the live stock over which
he ruled, many of the neighboring chiefs
desired to marry her. Her parents, how
/
sible, the fountain head of the new race
to which all their traditions taught them
| they were working up. They determined
that she should wed the Prince d'Orang
Outang. The Duke proposed the matter
to the Prince.
"Awl" said the Prince, as he adjusted
his eye-glass, " Is it nice?"
ttShe is very beautiful" replied the
Duke.
saw" said the Prince, g give it-aw
much stamps %
81 shall give her all Ethiopia, replied
the Duke.
81 will-aw-step down, and-aw-
look at it, murmured the Prince, care
lesslessly. By surprise, you know
This was agreed upon, and the Duke
departed.
/ The Prince knew his worth he was
quite white, and he was not troubled
with the slightest particle of caudal ap-
pendage, but Ethiopia was big prize
and he resolved to win it.
One week after the Duke had of
fered his daughter, the Prince started
for Senegambia with the intention of
looking at the fair face of Lady Ade-
liza.
CHAPTER III.
The Prince was wander through the
woods of Senegambia, gayly humming
50 I'd be a butterfly
Born in 3 bovyer,'
when his eyes fell upon q lovely chin
panzee, sitting in a shallow brook, suck
ing cocoanut. She was the loveliest
creature he had ever seen. His heart
was touched at once. He raised his eye
glass and stared at her until his eyes fell
in modest confusion.
II Fair chimpanzee," said he, tswiu
Il you not-aw-ten me your-aw-
name ?''
, Adeliza," " whispered she.
The Duchess de Chimpanzee, who had
] Witnessed the meeting from behind a
, clump of bushes, chuckled, and slid of
on her left ear.
Adeliza, /" sighed the Prince, .' thou
art-aw-beauGful! ! Wilt thou-aw-
marry me?"
The Lady Adeliza threw the remains
, of her cocoanut at the head of Chin
panzee who was loafng in neighboring
tree, fell into the arms of the Prince, and
gently murmured, 's I am all thine"
They were married in great splendor.
The Right Rev. Bishop Balloon, assisted
, by the Rev. Simiadar Ape, performed
the ceremony. The choir sang that
lovely anthem, Monkey married the
/ parents rubbed noses, and then the
J bride started on her tour on an elephant
with one trunk.
|, CHAPTER ".
The seasons changed summer lapsed
into autumn, autumn into winter, and
winter into spring. Then there was
great rejoicing, for the Lady Adeliza
gave the Prince an heir, The child,
however was an anomaly in that region /:
it had no tail, it had fiat feet, it had
white skin. it had no hair ON its body.
All the wise men examined it. 1t waa
not an orang-outang, it was not chin
panzee evidently it was new species.
Then a family conclaye was called.
g What shall we call it !" asked every
, body.
The Duchess de Chimpanzee, who was
languidly making mud pies, said
Let's call it-Man."
A Prima Donna's Throat.
Mime. Pauline Lucca recently submit
ted her larynx to examination by the