Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1875-11-05
MY CARPET-BAG.

f6TStES Oh lOFtys aHl SIuSF- f@ht. a.
ways intend to rel aiu so. L add this
latter clause to prevent an7 old mad
who may see my name in TIL" Paper
from writing to me ur sending me h Z
photograph.
If there is anything on earth that [
particularly despise, it is carpet
bags.
/ had rather wear dirty shirt a
fortnight, aud button my We to my
throat to conc al the absence Of p
collar, than carry one OF these nui-
sances.
They are always in til way. Aman
looks ike porter carrying one, aod
every body chances i'll hi direction
with sort of hgh-bred contempt,
f4ncying him a pedd!e, or SCISSORS
grinder. Pretty girl- draw away to
let him pass, and old ladies eye him
suspiciousiy, aud inform their neigh
bors that they have known smallpox
to be carried i'll carpet-bags.
In omnibu-es it IS always flying out
of your hands on t. the toes of your
yis tets; i'll railway stations you are
afraid to put If down moment lest
some one shou d appropriate it; and In
railway carri ge 1t is perfectly IN
tolerabie. If you put it on your seat,
somebody will be sure to want that
very seat; if you lay it on the floor
somebody will tread on it, smash your
bottle OF patent hair-dye, and compel
you to look ten years older than usual
for the ut xt ten days; if you hang it
up, some man who is soft enough to
wear tail beaver will strike his head
against it, and glance at you with a
small volcano in his eyes; and if you
wrap it in your shawl. and hold it IN
your arms, all the women in the car
rage will mistake you for widower.
carrying baby and will beg to be
allowed to kiss the little darling just
once, for it's poor mothers sake.
But to commence with my own in
dividual experience.
I was sent by the firm with which L
was connected 10 distant town last
Autumn on business of Importance,
which would keep me absent some
eight or ten days.
OF course it was necessary for me to
have changes of clothing, and there
was nothing for it but to take a carpet
bag.
[ set out for the railway, feeling very
much like cuiprit, my well-stuffed
bag swinging against the legs of every
man I encountered, and being shifted
at by all the dogs on the road. /
rather suspe ct they smeIed the blad-
der of Scotch snuff l had recently pur-
chased and packed in with my other
things; for you must know that my
only bad habit is snuff taklng-a vely
mild 81 ), think.
4 ! 1 II, 4
lance when a bus, pretty heavily
loaded, overlook me. The driver drew
IN his horses.
ride, sir? Your carpet-bag locks
heavy"
NO" 7 gro sied, ploiding on, con
sclous that several pairs Ct feminine
eyes regarded me from the windows.
Book agent or tract peddier, re-
marked the driver to man beside
hI1n.
Got his c'"an collars in that bag -
said squeaklng female voice. '1lt
warrant he's gong accounting. Looks
dreadful sLeopish."
And the vehicle whirled away.
took cross path, and reached the
station fully five minutes ahead of it,
and had the satisfaction of hearing one
woman say to another, indicating me
with nod of her bonnet:
"rhere, that Teller with the carpet
bag LOOKS exactly like the chap that
stole my silver spoons wien we had
our tea-parry. WISH I could see IT,"
inside OF bis vaiisr."
made dive for The door of the
fret cArrlage-a young lady was de-
sceEdIng the steps at The same time,
with bandbox in her ha2d. / was
in a hurry, and did lot stop for cere-
mOny. My carpet-bag weut thump
against her Landbox, smashed in the
side Of the abomination, aud out rolled
Il French bonnet. pair of old boots.
puff ball, q pink saucer, bottle Ct
concentrated musk-rat, and yellow
covered novel.
The lady screamed, the guard
growled at me, and | made the best
Ct my way into the carriage.
put my carget-bHg on the seat be
side me, and employed myself by
looking out OF the window. At tut
next station fat lady, radiant in pur-
pie ribbons AMI bug.e trimming, W e
added TO our load. She swept the
carriage with her eyes, and Travelled
1t
finger to prevent it. she had s1Itk
down. with sign of satisfaction, ON
my carpet-bag, and at the same time
there was a stunning report, and the
whole air was filled with floating par
tlcies OF my Scotch snuff. She had
burst the bladder, and the valise, not
being locked, was not so tenacious of
the contents as it might have been.
The lady began to sneeZe-so did l.
so did the whole travelling commu-
nifty.
Heavens '' cried she, "what is it
L shall choke to death !!
L seized the handle of my bag-she
sprang to her feet. cast on me look
OF ine1fable scorn, and found another
seat.
l hung up the bag then, and thought
my troubles over; but no-the car
riage gave an extra lurch, ana off the
hook bounced my carpet-bag, plnmp
on to the head of prim spinst.'r be-
hind me. [ know she was a spinster,
because her bonnet was trimmed in
green.
She screamed, hoped up, tainted,
and fell into the arms of a fellow-pas-
seuger. She was stout, he was thin
his equilibrium was destroyed-over
he went into the lap Of my fat woman
in purple ribbons. She felt herself III
suited, and said sued Inform the traffic
manager, who was in the train, got up
for that purpose, and pitched headlong
into the goid-bowed spt ctacles of a
literary gen leman. who was reading
a book. b ads and Lugles darkened
the air-the literary gentleman looked
politely surprised, and remarked to
his neighbor that he must get out an
article on the evils attending indul-
gence in strong drinks. The fat lady
subsidized; the guard bore the green
trimmed spinster off to the saloon, and
quiet was restored.
/ reached my destination just as
dusk was falling. | made my way to
an hotel, carpet bag IN hand. They
showed me up to n room in the second
story, aud informed me that supper
was just ready. I did not light Up;
but my face felt hot and dusty, and
plunging my hand into my carpet bag,
[ drew out bottle of cosmetic I al
l., e