The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1875-01-15
scIssoRINes. !


Social ostracism is very unsocial.
It's better to be useful that rich:
A fast musician--One who plays
90 forte.
No church is tob weak to take upa
collection. ota
No Chinaman has ever yet become
! book agent; q
With hungry men, meal times are
The best times,
It requires no particular skill ID
make blunder.
A mother-in-law in the house is
well-spring Of jawy.
Time will only hang up his scythe
when he is no mower.
"The Beautiful Blue Danube" ID 4
muddy, yellow fraud. n
Jonah was d stranger among whales
and they took him ina I'd
At Pekin, ILL.,, you can Pekin to
eighty-seven lager-beer saloons,
What is the largest room in the
world9 The room for improvement;
John @. Calhoun has been arrested
for wearing somebody else's trousers.
A client is never certain about .
lawyer, aud generally take him on
trial.
When was tho greatest freak Of
nature? When Mary had a little I
lamb.
Snails are to be taxed in Paris
which will make them 80 still more
slowly.
The elephant is said to be dying
out; SO you had better 80 and ssS ii
at once.
Pluck and patience are str6hg
firm in transacting the daily business
Of life.
A large sale Of long horns is fep6fs
ted in Kentucky. Where are the
crusadersY a 44 ~
The proper salutation when you
meet a writing master Is, "How do
you flourishY "a
Texas has town called Loyelady.
Old maids are enquiring about the
climate there
A Minnesota man makes the winter
seem short by giving his note payable
in the Spring ~ ''i'
They don't bury the colored pec-
pie in Georgia. They form dc fun
raj oba'quies, sab. tt
Before taking liberties with .
strange dog, 6bsstve bis tail and
wait Tor the wag on.
If you want to feel warm an
through give some poor family the
means to keep warm.
Governor Peck, Of Vermont, Is .
bachelor. Marrying would make
half bushel Of him.
The meanest man in the world is
the fellow who knows where Charley
Ross is and will not tell
Mercy Consolation Smith, is Fort
Wayne's handsoneat girl. Mercy
will no doubt be q Consolation TO
some fellow. e
A father at Dubuque makes his
children address him as follows, tor
instance-"Most respected and revof-
ed father, I'll take another later"
Colorado started a college few
weeks ago, and up to date its inmates
consist Of one woman, three Indians,
a buffalo calf and Professor Of Bot
any.
When young man in Charlestown
s. O., saves the daughter Of amillion-
aire from drowning, he Is presented
with q pair Of kip boots having red
tops.
A Rhode Island man carries $780,
900 lite insurance, and If he even
takes cold in the head the companies
rush down three or four doctors 10
: feel his pulse.
aWhat would you be dearest, il !
should press the stamp Of love upon
; those sealing wax lipsY' ~ respond
! cd the fairy,like creature, should he
/ --stationeryp
There Is this difference in the biOg
r raphy Of James Watts and the legenC
Q Of the pillar Of salt. One is The Htory
Y Of Watts life and the other 10 th'
: story Of Lots wifo.
: A Virginia bridegroom over seveI
a feet high is announced. The ailhi
Q created considerable sensation. bat
. is believed she only married him 4
90 chestnutiing With
A man had hotter have q millstoh'
o tied TO bis neck and be cast into m
Il sea than TO promise to marry Iexa
4 cirl and then refuse. The Who'll
d country turns out 70 hunt him. and b
n Is generally left 70 grow up With
tree.