Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1875-05-13
BRAssBR's SON OLAUDIUs.
The Fun He Made for q NeigbbOr's B0y-Dis.
turbing the old Folks-A Good shot-smash-
Ing Glass and Arousing a Policeman.
From the Detroit Free Press.

Mr. Brasser, who lives on Ninth
avenue, has son about twelve years
old named Claudius, and the other
evening this boy received permission
to allow neighbours boy to stay all
night with him. The old people slept
down stairs in the sitting room, and
the boys were put into a room direct
ly above. When they went up to
the bed Claudius had the clothes line
under his coat, ond the neighbours boy
had q mask in his pocket. They didn't
kneel down and say their prayers
like good boys and then jump into
bed and tell bear stories, but as soon
as the door was locked the Brasser
boy remarked:
you'll see more fun around here
tonight than would lie on ten
acre lott"
From the closet they brought out a
cast off suit of Brasser's clothes, stuff
ed them with whatever came handy,
tied the mask and old straw-hat on
for a head, and while one boy was
carefully raising the window the 9TH
err was tying the clothes-line around
the "man." The image was lowered
down in front of the sitting room win
dow, lifted up and down once or
twice, and old Brasser was heard to
leap out of bed with great jar. He
was just beginning to doze when he
heard sounds under his window. and
his wife suggested it was a COW in
the yard. He got up pulled the cur
tain away, and as he beheld a man
standing there he shouted out:
"Great bottels! but it's a robber!"
and he jumped into bed.
"Theodorius Brasser, are you a
fool!' screamed his wife as he monop-
olized all the bedclothes to cover up
his head.
"Be quite, you old jade, youl" he
whispered; "perhaps he'll go away"
"Don't you call me ajade"reaching
over and trying to find his hair. "Git
up and git the gun and blow his head
Off"
ooh, you do il"
'Git up, you old coward" she snap
ped. "I'll never live with you anoth-
err day if you don't do it!'
Brasser turned up the lamp, sat up
in bed, and cried out:
as that You, boys?"
"Mercy on me! git upr' yelled the
vie as the straw man was knocked
against the window.
"Fll blow his head off as clean as
milk" said Brasser in a loud voice as
got up. He struck the stove three or
tour times, upset chair, and reached
behind the foot of the bed and drew
out an old army musket.
"Tow then, for blood" he continu-
ed, as he advanced to the window and
lifted the curtain.
The man was there, face close to
the glass, and he had such a malig.
nant expression OF countenance that
Brasser jumped back with a cry of
alarm.
''Kill him! Shoot him down, you
old noodle. head!' screamed his wife
81 wildly thunder! will" re-
piled Brasser, and he blazed away,
and tore out nearly all the lower sash.
The boys up stairs uttered yell
and a groan, and Brasser jumped for
the window to see if the man was
down. He wasn't. He stood right
there, and he made leap at Brasser.
Giles coming in!-perlice.-boys.
-ho!-perlice!" roared the old man.
The tattered curtain permitted Mrs.
Brasser to catch sight of . man jump
ing up and down, and she yelled:
"Theodorius, I'm going to faint!"
GIANT and be darned! Boys. per.
licer he replied, wolloping the sheet.
iron stove with the poker.
"Don't you dare talk that way to
mel" shreiked the old woman, recoy-
ering from her desire to faint.
"Po lece! Po-lece!" now came from
the boys up stairs, and while one con-
tinued to shout the other drew the
man up, tore him limb from limb, and
secreted the pieces.
Several neighbors were aroused, an
officer came up from the station, and
a search of the premises was made.
Not so much as a track in the snow
was found, and the officer put on an
injured look and said to Mr.. Brasser:
"a guilty conscience needs no &C
cuser."
"That's sol" chorused the indig-
nant neighbors as they departed.
AS Mr.. Brasser hung quilt before
the shattered window he remarked to
bis wife:
"Now see what an old cundurango
you made of YOURSELF"
"Don't fling any insults at me, or
I'll choke the attenuated life out of
you" she replied.
And the boys kicked around on the
bed, chucked each other in the ribs,
and cried:
"rd rather be boy than the Pres
identr'