, 1875-04-25
'HU1IOR.


Something about dogs-Fleas.
Spring is On hand. Lettuce have peas.
The home eircle-Walking around with tho
baby at night.
What is better than promising young man
paying one.
II am afrhid might be biased by the evi-
dence," WAS the objechon gentleman made to
serving on jury"
This connundrum ia respectfully submitted to
the best epoller: Il s-i-ol-x spells su, and eye
SPELLS j. and sig he'd spells HIde, why doesn't
s-i-o-u-x-e-y-e-a-i ~gg-h-e-d spel suicido7
Hrs. sveetly-" But why are you making so
many dolls pantaloons, my dear Mra. Jinxby."
Mrs. Jintby-" TheBe are not dolls clothes, my
dear; they are for the poor frogs who 70 ex-
posed in the water all winter in our pond"
.s Non-exp1osive !" exclaimed the grocer.
'sWhy look at me put lighted match into that
can Of oil. No explode there you see,-
whoop." And, as his insurance policy expired
the day before, he will not rebuild his grocery.
Il rustic youngster, being asked out to take
ten with friend, was admonished to praise the
eatables. Presently the butter was PASSED to
what there is oi it." and observing ~ amile. he
added, "and plenty Of it-guch az it is.."
A hardware merchant yesterday observed
boy looking sharply ct some garden tools, and he
asked: "Bub if should present you With
hoe, would you 60 home and make garden IL
" No. sir." promptly responded the boy, I'D
sell it to the man living next door, and buy some
circus tickets" -.
"my son." said fathsr to his little boy, at
the brealfaet-tsble, il you had the choice to
be burned at tho stnke, like John Rogers, or to
have your head chopped of, like King Charles
tho First, which would You choose ?" John
Rogers" said the boy. ''And why ?" '*Be-
cause" replied the boy, 7 should prefer hot
steuk t. q cold chop"
The case 10 nutshell: 4 lady entered q
only vacant seat was by the aide Of matronly-
looking colored woman. The latter politely
drew away her skirts and made all the room pos-
slble. The tsue-born Southerner declined the
seat with soornfu1 toss OF the head and q tip Of
the nose more than Nature had given it. "Lor
bless ye honey" said the colored woman, suil-
iag1y, "H ye owned me, you'd sit in my lap."
A Fulton young man who wxs visiting abroad
ceme home Saturday, and In the morning ct
breakfast remarked, ~ he reached his plate over,
- Father, little OF the mixture in the brown
dish, il you please, and small piece Of the pre-
pared meat" The old gentleman, who is
up the outstretohed plase, - Fe like to have you
come a4visitin' us, John, but ustremembet that
while you're eatiu' here, il you want hash, cay
so; md il you want sassage, cail for sassage
.nd not go to spreadin' on any Brooklyn misery
at my table,"
He was an 1riahman, and took tho obviously
economical view Of the subject. It Tas On the
train from New York to Netv Haven. The con-
ductor on reaching him said, With hrevity and
b1andnesa "1fcket ?" "Wa1l, begoua," an
swered the Irish party, IT gueas I've made q bit
of tnishtake. wanted to go TO- Easthshpton,
Mass.. and have bought a. ticket for East
hampton, Conn" "Why didn't ypu buy the
right ticket ~ said the conductor. :" Well, I
saw the two ct them, but the one to Eaathamp-
ton, cunh.r Was the chedpest, and 10 / bought ndt
che" 1t Tas cheaper BY S1.05 but 70 con
duttor slhsazed it ont o1 patrick~ -