River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-11-18
HUltOROUS.

placid as her own.
HUMOROUS.
''Thc Brooklyn revival" may be either
taken to mean the revival Of the Beech
er.rilton tilthineSs or the revival excited
by Moody and Sankey.
A little girl in public school was told
to nut the word "year"' in sentence.
"Last year my sister was married, and
this year she has baby"
Shoe dealer: Il fear we have no mum.
Der elevens, miss, bat here is large pair
of Mines" Customer: Shines D'you
take me for a Cindereler!
"Ef country fairs is goin to do agri.
cultur' amy good" says a Long Branch
farmer, keep out the wimmen. Them
pull-backs get mans eyes so sot that
he can't see nothin' else"
"There is no sunset in heaven" says
noted divine. 1--WE 60 further than
that, says an exchange, "therc's no get
ting up ofnights to draw the baby's legs
back under the cover"
Child-"Does the Lord take the pa.
pers Z" Mother--"No, my child; why
do you ask e Child "0h, | thought he
didn't, it takes our ministers so long to
tell him about things !"-Netc Haren
Register.
"Aren't you little off collar = was
what Jones remarked to his wife one
night, when she appeared arrayed for a
party in an extremely low-necked dress.
She convinced HIM she wasn't ''ofI
choler,' anyhow.
A young canada farmer has invented a
machine which is said to work satisiactor-
ly in model, for reaping grain. IL cuts
the stalks, gathers them in bundle,
twists band Of straw binds the sheaf
cuts the ends of the band and throws the
sheaf aside.
A Jamaica man who has managed to
get rid OF two nervous wives, advertiSes
for another helpmeet, and announces the
quality of female he requires: "Wanted
"A woman with sense enough to stand
still and not howl when a grasshopper is
crawling up her legs"
"Why," said Highland clergyman to
one of his flock, ''do you always sleep in
your pew when am in the pulpit, while
you are all attention to every stranger
inyite!" Because, sir, when you preach
! am sure it is all right; but | can't trust
stranger without keeping good look.
out"
Yet Hung, Chinaman, recently died
in this city, and his death notice was &C.
companied by these lines:
Thlow way him la'ge flat-ilon,
Mash him tub an bleak him pan,
Him got though with washee us'ness;
Alice same dead Chinaman.
Gomez fin out How. 'ongside joss.
San Francisco Post.
MASTER said an old Scotch servant,
whether is't guide manners, when gen.
tleman gies We glass o. whuskey, TO TAX
a drap or drink aft the hail ont 7" The
master having, in homely Scotch phrase,
judiciously replied to this poser that the
courtesy consis cd in i'm bibing the whole,
the man exclaimed, with a sigh of relief:
Then, Guide be thankit, ! was manner
lyp
A colored man, employed as a deck
hand on propeller, was rushing around
town election day and inquiring where
the polls were. "Polls! polls 7" repeated
the citizen. "Why, there's no election
going on now" "There hain't!" "No,
sir" The man stood for moment look
ing greatly disappointed, and turned for
the river with the remark "And now dc
programme is to find dat sleek young
man who said dey was paying six dollars
apiece fer voters "
Anxious mamma Ito her brother.in-
law, who is also the family doctor): by
the way, Alexander, I'm so glad you've
come; | wanted to talk to you about
baby; can't understand whv he doesn't
speak yet; surely he ought to by this
time Alexander: "Weel, we see, Ann,
ye just talk the vera highest of Inglish,
an my britheo John, again; he just talks
the vera braidest o. Scotch; and the puir
BARN We see, il has ma just made up his
mind which side Of the house it'll just
tax TILL
Archduke Macmillan Of Bavaria went
recently to Vienna to visit his daughter,
the Empress Of Austria. lie always
travels quietly, and was mistaken for a
business man by laxative Austrian
tradesman who occupied the same com.
partment in the train, and who, after
telling all about his own affairs, asked the
Archduke where he was going. "Going
to Vienna" "0n business r. "No; TO
visit my daughter, who married an Aus
trian." as your son-in.lqw in good
business :" ''Well, tolerably good, but
troublesome at times" "What is he z"
"The Emperor" The tradesman was
covered with confusion, and notwith.
standing the laughing protestations Of
the Archduke, he darted from the car.
riage az the very first stopplng place.