Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-01-02

in the delightful occupation of knead-
ing bread. John Briggs did not stop
here; he grabbed his wife around the
waist, and in her struggles and remon-
strances, commenced dancing up and
down the culinary sanctuary. Round
and round he went Over went the
table with the -four and dough. Down
vent the -dish-psn, end crash went the
kettle off the stove. Hurrah, wife,
we'll have a picnic" roared Mr.. b.,
needless of the destruction he had
caused. His wife's remonstrances grew
louder and louder, as he continued
dancing, much against her will. At
last, she freed herself by force. "Now,
Mr.. John Briggs, do you behold the
ruption and soatterfusion you have been
the cause Of" Mrs. Briggs, was, ,ex-
tremely fond Of using big words, she
did not, however, always use them cor
rectly. "Aren't you ashamed on your
self?" she continued, have you been
and gone crazy? Have you no more re-
spect and adn,ulsion for your affected
spouse, than for to come and 60 and do
it, as you have come and did it?' ,"O 0,
never mind Sal; don't scold; I've ar
ranged it all. Jones and I. The whole
family of Jonses, and the whole family
Of Briggses are to unite in felicitous
union and to have picnic. Hurrah,
wife, we'll have picnic! Hurrah, wife
-" And John Briggs was about to
commence his dancing again; but his
wife contemptuously threw the dish-ras
at him. This act 80 astonished that
worthy, that he forgot his intention,
and stared in blank surprise at his con-
temptous spouse. "Wot! hc ex-
claimed, "don't You want to go on a
picnic Don't you want toto"
No I don't. II Aren't you aware that
Anne Jane does not possess dress fit
for a picnic? Don't you know that
William John and Samuel James have
not received novel pair of boots for
quite period of existence? No, Of
course not. You don't perceive your
affected spouse going about the house
in mornin' wrapper while Mrs. Bon
tain proinulates. the streets in silk dress,
Then you come to thy domestic hearth
and proposate goin' to a picnic. No,
Mr.. Briggs, esquire" She always
called him Mr.. B., esquire. =" No pic
mic for the Briggses. No picnic for us. I"
"Why, my dear, what do you mean {?
it was only last June that purchased
q dress for you and one for Annie Jane;
besides Sam James and Will Johns
boots are plenty good enough for pic
nic." So saying, Mr.. B. turned on his
heel, and left the kitchen to his tri-
umphant wife who firmly believed she
had gained decisive victory. In spite
of this opinion, two days after she was
busily engaged in preparing the eata-
bles for the purposed picnic. The
Joneses were to call for the Briggses at
GA. N. on Thursday. Monday, Tues
day and Wednesday went slowly by.
Wednesday night, Mrs. Briggs staid
awake. She was sure they would all
be late. She knew 1t, she felt it. At
midnight she succeeded in waking Mr..
B., who was snoring vigorously, and
informed him that it was six o'clock.
" No, my dear; really now, it can't be
six; twhy, I've only got to Sleep"
"Mr. Briggs, esquire, if there is one
predioament / am noted for more than
another, il lis the faculty of correctly
designating the proper time. I know
it is six, Mr.. Briggs, esquire, and you
must get up immediately" Briggs re-
luctantly scrambled out Of bed, rubbing
his eyes, and proceeded to don his
clothes. He had nearly finished, when
he bethought himself OF glancing at
his watch He was Justly indignant,
when he discovered the hands to point
at five minutes after twelve. Hastily
disrobing himself he again ensconced
himsef beneath the bed-clothes, NUT
tering something about some people
always o knowing everything. Where
upon Mrs B. took the opportunity to
lecture him. for half an hour on the 'ir-
reverent. embodiment of the ssterner
sex.l'tsoAns hour passed slowly away;
again Mrs. b. was sure it was six o.
clock, ngain Mr.. q b. WAS certain it
wasn't, again Mr.. tBs had to crawl
reluctantly out again Mr.. B. looked at
the watch and again he triumphantly
declared Mrs.l B. to be mistakenad So
it went on from hour to hour, till the
fated five o'clock arrived. Then there
was hustle in the house Of the Briggses,
Mrs. B. was sure they had forgotten
something. Mr.. B. busted himself In
doing everything. Win John had, his
hand IN every basket. Annie Jane oc-
cppied .herseH in taking his fingers out
again. sam James followed his mother,
plying; her with question after question.
a quarter before, ak saw the large
hamper and the two smaller baskets on
the sidewalk, backed by the whole
Briggs family, ~, Ny what sdetains
the ,10peses 40 long with, the vehicle.
They must have broken down. I know
something has happened, " asserted
Mrs. B., when ten minutes had passed.
The other Ave dragged slowly away,
then, with q terrible rattle, and crack
ing of whips, and.barkihg Of dogs, and
ahopts oko ohAdFen. and cries. s1of neigh
born and hpsFaba Of Mr, Briggs, the
lliAa z9l iaq)ia b9i2ta