The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-01-21

than in medicine. In short we agree
with the following stanza from Hostctter'a
Almanac.
"A man may grow to weigh ton
Who feeds his mind on pungent fun;
But he who scorns its simple sway
Oft yields to crime an easy prey"
Tho following is also from Hostetter,
and is worthy to be called to the attention
Of these sons Of Erin, whom We occasion
ally hear sxtolling their native Ireland
above their adopted America.
An Irishman asks Long Island wo-
man the price Of a pair Of fowls, and is
told,
"a dollar"
''And a dollar it is, my darlints Why,
In my country you might buy them for a
''And Why didnt you stay in that blessed
cheap country"
'sOch, faith. an there was no sirpenet
there, to be sure"
In the following the apprentice took
the words of his master in too large a
sense:
John" said master to his apprentice,
~ he was about starting on q journey,
1'you must occupy my place while | am
absent" Thank you, sir" replied John,
''1'd rather sleep with the boys"
This may be suggestive and helpful to
our school-boys:
1t occurred to Danbury scholar while
writing composition last week, to make
the samarkahie statement that ian OK
doessnot taste as good as an oyster, but
it cxn run faster"
The Office of deacon has never seemed
f*osss very desirable one, but others may
Alsave different opinion after reading the
fs6llowing:
''At meeting Of parish, straight
1faced and most exemplary deacon submit
tied . report in writing, of the destitute
widows and others who stood in need of
assistance from the parish, Are you
sure, deacon that you have embraced all
the widows?" He said he believed he
had.
And this is from the same source:
At recent railway festival the follow
ing striking sentiment was given: "Our
Aoshers-The only faithful tenders who
never misplaced . sWiteA" which may
be good sentiment, but we fear that
some of our boys are running on track
which goes straight to the ''Deuce" while
their mothers neglect the switches which
might direct them from their ruin.
The following is for the Otium cum dsa-
nit0ts club:
"A tbrong Of youth and beauty glide
Amid tho festive scene,
The dancers close, and side by side
upon each other lean.
But one fair maid, the queen Of al,
Hath on her brow frown,
She feels her pride will have fall,
Hcr-back hairs coming down."
Got any medicine, asked boy ENTER
Ing drug store the other day. "Yes, lots
OF It. What do you want?" inquired the
clerk. "Oh, it don't make any difference,
80 that it's something lively. Dad is fear
ful bad" What ais him?" asked the
clerk. Dunno" said the bow: ..but he's
run down Orful He just sits around the
stove all day and mopes; he hasn't wal
lowed mother since Christmas. / guess
hes going to der
A few days since seedy person APP
piled to wealthy citizen for help. and
received the small sum Of FIVE cents. The
giver remarked as he handed him the pit
lance: Take it; you are welcome; our
ears are always open to the distressed"
That may be-" replied the recipient
but never before in my life have seen
% small an opening for such large carr. !"
dad" mentioned above does not live
in Toledo to our knowledge, but the man
..m opeA ' uoes Du' "e wont
'en ms name
soou
Lazy scnool-teacher IN Omaha, hav-
ing az lnordinate dread OF the smallpox,
sent nome little girl because she said
ner motner WAS sick and had marks ON
ner lace, Inc next day the girl appeared
- tno schooi-house with her fngar in her
~ ths .t sh s IA .n;a Donnea swinging
SMiss- Te,. r cos s.'I i;,. ~ ~ n.y. so.cner
house. but mother told me to ts,l ION ~! =
isn's eAascAin'" The teacher said she
Aeat>
The shrewdness Of blind men has often
been remarked, and Is illustrated BY the
following:
- blind man had been sitting one day
ana pleasantly chatting with some visi-
81 .Is ,h LOT co ~ nour wnea ono o. them wish
~ =. ..s,.s. tssxl soou!noInllg, ana lett
~. ; sa;i -. nas wni, 81, teetn that lady
-. 80 sa'u -: 5.csS'.c Dnna man. How
became Vs. the ready . snars ,fls s9
the last half hour she has done nothi.r
but laush,n -@ A40'"i1s