The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1875-09-18

ETY. than in art. The man who disregards
it in hi, acquaiutanceships, finds cloves
labor lost as surely as the artist who ig-
nores it in his pictures It is, indeedsthe
prime condition of all high social satisfac-
tons, Of everything above the vulgar plane
of promiseuous herdiDg. It is the magic
wand that turns social ore to gold. Only
by the neglect Of its requirem ents comes
the sad experience that all friendships arc
not immortal. Friends that become re-
pellant would grow doubly dear were they
projected to proper focus. Many who
now quarrel would exc out happy ccm-
munion had they but mutual perspective
of few hundred leagues. They might
transact their intercourse by letter and BY
appreciative messages periodically cxchan-
ged through third persons, aud die in the
belief of an eternal friendship. So there
are husbands and wives abiding in domes-
tic infelieity who would make irreproacha-
bic, admirable couples if they only lived il
different quarters Of the same town. Iii
living under the same roof that ruins
everything between them. Some of these
highly quarrelsome pairs would grow posi-
lively dear to one another with no more
than mile betwixt them.
A sensible man viii not be reluctant to
recognize these laws, nor will he fail to
appreciate the relationships they vouchsafe
to him. He will find such friendship
not without pleasures and advantages Of
its own. He can cultivate it into an ideal.
Charming letters can be sent and received,
written under none of the limitations
which have to be observed when the par
ties are forever meeting, aud forever get.
ting little awry. You may, in such
circumstances, fully give way to mutual
praise, and believe the very best of one
another. Now and then you have welcome
surprises, hearing of the kindest things
being both done and said iq your interest
by the friends with whom you never come
near enough to differ. What the prudent
man does do is to try and distinguish
which friendships must be kept upon this
footing, never being drawn any tighter.
Geography, typography, locality, play
great and unsuspected part in our relation
ships, softening some with the mere haze
of distance, embellishing others with a
kind Of bewitching mirage, arising from
place. To como to live together in the
same village, town, or city, is the ruin Of
some excellent friendships, which would
have gone on happily during life with a
short railway journey for each visit. Woe
beiide certain acquaintances whose aspect
is mutually pleasant seen from opposite
corners of the same street if they become
next-door neighbors. A very short per-
spectiye will serve in some cases, but few
yards of ii there must be. In fact, no
greater mistake can be made than for per-
sons to suppose that, because they are
friendly with one another at this or that
distance of removal, they will become in
creasingly friendly in proportion as they
draw higher.
In every case a certain focal point Of
intimacy exists where an acquaintanceship
is at its best. 1t varies indefinitely, ac-
cording to the persons, but it holds good
of everybody. You lose something of the
man or woman if that right degree of near
ness is not reached; but take great care of
passing it, for that may be much worse
than not reaching it, There are stucco
human beings as there are stucco houses.
At the right distance away, you will never
find it out. If you never test their offers,
if you can always do without their help,
no persons make better friends. 1t is only
when you imprudently go right to them,
throwing away all thoughts Of perspective,
that the windows turn into blanks and you
discover that the grand inviting doorway
is makc-believe-in fact, that the man was
all front, only to be looked at from dis
lance.
The question Of space, again, partly
merges into that Of time. Few Of us, who
are not under legal obligations to that ef-
feet, can bear coming into contact with
one another intimately beyond certain
degree of frequency. Numbers of family
quarrels have arisen merely because the
members came together too often; many
friendship has ended forever owing to the
parties having met every evening for
week, instead of interposing at least two
blank nights. A very nice chronology
obtains in the matter. Aunt Mary may
be charming visitor at intervals of about
three years; if she came each summer she
would be intolerable. You rather like
your brother Johns children, if you don't
90 there oftener than once in three months.
Il is all very well to hear talk about eter-
nal friendships Some people can only be
intimate aud remain friendly with some
other people for half an hour at time.
Eternity with them means thirty minutes.
They then get awry naturally, neither Of
hem being particularly to blame; their
points Of affinity all exhaust themselves in
hat time. Everything would be retriey-
lble il they could separate at the twenty
ninth moment, Who does not know the
part played BY time in visits Of some length
10 friends at distancel How agreeable
some persons are on the second day, but
they begin to change before the next has