The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-05-15
Nowyousc.ii & Nowyoudoni.

Two dollars Is thc price "i IN ''"' i''N'''''
Bcardless boys and women Hand upon an
equal suffrage stand
Ague without fever /, M great rhohr,,
spellozoctir i, the latest name for it.
The only way young lady could spell NIL
ten recently, was--M-o u--t.o.n,
Some fifteen little 'crusadcrs hayc been adj
ded to the population within the last three
months. Boy babies are away below par.
Kiss shots in billiard, are now called Brook
lyn caroms.'
A ID ward chap In, fors0>cn his 2irl. Sac has
inc fever and ague, and he cant put his arm
around her without getting such shaking as
makes his cyeballs jingle.
II you meet Il young lady about this time Oh
the year, and enter into conversation with her'
and she keeps her paraso or fan standing
against the corner OF her mouth next 10 you' IL
safe to conclude that onions formed the princi-
pal part of her last rrpast.
The plvmslIlbi,es now wear little bags OF asa
foetida. gum camphor sulphur, around the nechs,
to keep away the smallpox. The ladies' nave
their bags BEAUTIFULLY embroidered Ldpofe
Herald.
That's all very nice for the ladies but the
men; how do they wear theirs:
We recommend the following sentences as an
exercise for the next spelling match:
Looking up into his goloptious eyes She said
And is it, indeed, true, Alfred, that our soul, in
The process OF transmogrifcation, cXplunctiics
itself through the whole caboodlc of eternity?
Nay, dearest replied Alfred, and his ceuntc.
nance betrayed an expression of Justification,
not to say disgruntlemcnt, which cayortcG over
his features for an instant, Our souls cannot
become sufficiently nattcratcd to ADMIT Of the
necessary spifllication winch
The sentence was never finished, for as he
spoke he seated himself upon chair whose legs
had been cxscrratcd 1.-TWO inches, and he came
down Unexpectedly kcrchunk.
Was it a paroxysmal,' 'inspirational or the
kiss he didn't return that was bestowed upon
Buffalo Giant, Tuesday evening?
Pat Holahan sports the nobbicst pair Of box.
toed shoes III the city.
with the hush Of sweet memories still in my
ear is the way the Pre- Wees correspondent from
Dayton commences her letter Our devil sug
gcsts that her ear must be Of the dimension of
the average Gilman girl. Hush, devil, CT
Mary will set her little lamb on you.
Horse marines should have .tie.t horse.
TO what base uses, &c We have heard what
became Of our red calkcr neck tye No cards.
1t is put down by lady who knows, as fact,
hat nine out Of ten Of the gents who have their
hair shingled close are married men The rca-
son is obvious.
Canyassers for every imaginable article are on
the war path oh for grasshoppcr plaugc
The grocery stores breathe forth the balmy
odorousncss Of the yernal onion.
Several slcighinG parties have been made up
TO improve the next fall of snow.
While other cities are growing about light
ming rod men, our citizens are making them
present. One received full set OF crockcry this
week.
The first horse race reported was between DR.
Babbagc uud Mr. NanAntwcrp, in the sand on
the west side. The Doctor would have won but
for running his horse against StuJ.
Let's see /, there two or three BIS in stab:
lie wore Il pair Of pale summer pantaloons
The seats in the arhor were newly painted with
green And the last end of that man was worse
than the first.
She left last Tuesday morning for her home in
jacksonville and he went to the depot, with q
heart full Of sadness, to bid her good bye. VIII
you think Of me- darling" asked he, as healthy
old sob came to the surface. IN try replied
she as she pushed back a silyery tear with hci
point lace handkerchief Write to me, love,
said he, wipmg the end OF his eye with the cui
of his coat sleeve. will, If have time slit
she, smiling Trough shower Of pearls that Eel
on her hcang be---. Just then the train
atarted. and the conversation was ended by
sound resembling the cracking Of whip. Jak
looks sad and gloomy now hut bears his Attic
lion with the resignation OF retired SalOO
keeper
They Sag that if you plant gcraniums abou
eour premises, YOU will not be bothered wit
snakes There arc several fellows in town VIII
ought to have gcranums all over them
A young lady in Mendoza who has ottcndc
every spelling skull in that town, was pu
down by the word luz
Don't put on your straw hat and linen dustc
Ncti thdl "puiu oc IilpoelnU oh 'Ic NtathCI.
A South Ottawa chicken fancicr, who wcI
out the other night n lantern in one hand pi
toll in the other, to see what was raising such
disturbance in the hen house. found he WI
booked for a duel with polc-cat. lie fired irs
the enemy fired back, and now there's q suit
good clothes buried under the back wood. pile.
A circus opened its tcnt-buds this time la
year Everything ia backward this season.
4 man LIVING in this county was asked VIII
induced him TO make law student OF his SO
Oh hc Was always Il lying cuss, and ] thong
I'd humor his leading propensity. Sheridan !
pers please copy.
\ Young married man received his fret CT
tain lecture the other night from his wife, Pol
He calls it the epistle Of Poll to the rum on
He won, be so facetious after awhile. Ephesia
the flowing bowl, he may get rest, but Poll "
lay the law down to him every time he gets
tus brick.
Bean, OF The Streator job Office, cathartcd