The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1875-03-26
E,ar,u-Eire Do-en Of Clothes Pins.
HOW MRS JOHNSON STIRRED Up THE
HEAD OF THE FAMILY-A WARN
ING TO LAZY HUSBANDS.

( HOW MRS. JOHNSON STIRRED Up III Z
HEAD OF THE FAMILY-A WARN
ING TO LAZY HUSBANDS.
Ladies who have husbands who are
neglectful in supplying them with
kindlings should carefully study the
experience of Division street sister.
+ All her married life she has had an
unbroben struggle with her husband
to keep herself supplied with wood,
aud the greater part of the time she
has been obliged to depend upon her
own deftness with the axe, and aEy one
who has seen q woman handle an axe
knows what dreadful thing it is.
/ Two months ago she begged of him not
/ to go away without leaving her some
kindlings. He said he wouldn't. But
F he fiually did. Then she hit upon a
plan. She had four dozen clothes pins.
/ She took one dozen of them for start
| ing the fire, and found that they worked
admirably. The next day she used
! another dozen, and so she continued
until the four dozen were gone. Then
| she went to the store and purchased
another four dozen-having them put
in the bill" When they were gone
she repeated the errand She said no
more to him about kindlings. For ten
years she had kept up the battle, and
now she was tired and sick at heart
He could go his own way, and she
would go hers-patiently. uncomplain-
ingly-until the end would come
On Monday he signiied at the store
that he would like to settle his account
The bill was made out and handed him
He glanced down the items As he
advanced along the column his face
began to work. First his eyes slowly
enlarged, then his mouth gradually
opened, caused by the dropping of his
lower jaw and wrinkles formed on
his forehead. One-third down the col
umn he formed his lips as if to whistle
Four lines below he did whistle Half
way down he said:
Gracious J"
A little further on he said:
Thunder ~
Four more lines were taken in, and
he spoke again:
"By the Jumping Jupiter ~
Then he read on, shifting his thigh
vigorously, and giving vent to various
expressions of the liveliest nature
Finally be threw the bill down.
Il say, Benson, look here this bill
can't be mine; you've got me mixed
up with some laundry
That's your bill, sir" said the gro
Ger, smiling pleasantly.
Il tell you it can't be, >" persisted the
Division street man, beginning to look
scared. why, here's fifty-fve dozen
clothes pins in a two months bill
What on earth do YOU take me fora
four-story laundry ?"
But it is your bill-your wife can
explain it to you She ordered the
pins"
MY wife." gasped the unfortunate
man.
Yes, sir"
The debtor clutched the bill, jammed
it into his pocket, and hurried straight
home. He bolted into the house with
out any abatement Of speed, and fling
ing the paper on the table before his
wife, knocked his hat oil the back of
head, and said:
Martha Ann johnson, what does
SlIio llSdlt HtlC al lt lIbh-liNt tlOZcH
clothes pins in Benson's bill for the
past two months, and he says you or
dered every blessed one of them"
"And so | did, said she, demurely.
"W -h-at Fifty-fiv dozen clothes
pins in two months !" and he shot
down into chair as if a freight car
had fallen atow Of him. "Fiftv-five
dozen clothes pins in two months"
be howled. "Will just heaven stand
that 2"
al tell you, you needn't stare at me
that way, Reuben Wheeler Johnson,
nor 90 calling onto heaven with your
impiousness. | ordered them clothes
pins myself, and | have burnt every
one of 'em in that there stove, just be-
cause you were too ALFRED lazy to get
a stick of wood And | declare, before
I'll be bothered jawing and fighting to
get YOU to cut wood, III burn up ev-
cry clothes pin in the land, and you
shall pay for them, if you have to sell
the shirt on your back to do it. SO
nowi'
And Mrs Johnson, with a face like
scarlet, snatched up the broom, and
went to sweeping the carpet as if every
flake of dust was a red hot coal, while
the unhappy Mr.. Johnson FASTENED to
the store, and paid the bill. And be-
fore dark that night he had half cord
of wood sawed, split and piled up
ready for use.-Danbury Ne,cs.
MATCHES OyERNATCHED.-The Par
is correspondent of the London Daily