The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1875-03-16
TALMAGE AND MINCE PIE.

IALMAGE AND MINCE PIE.
An EXPLANATION OFFERED OF THE Prcu-
LIAhdIlEso OF THIS REVEREND GENTIFsfAN-
THE SUPPOSED EFFECTS OF HOT MrNcE-PIE
lee New York World of the All inst
contains the following ingenious atteunpt tn
explain The pulpit gymnastics of the Rev. r.
Dewitt Talmage: There has for lou~ time
existed among scientific men belief that
there must be an explanation of T.l,,ooo
VI course by the majority of the community
ne Is regarded simply as a freak of nature:
OUT ine scientific mind is reluctant 10 admit
thaS freaks of nature are really anvtbino
more than the result OF natural laws. oner-
stlng under unusual conditions. Nv what
Jaw Ia" lAIins2 e has been evolved it is hitherto
go , rIiiposslo4e TO conjecture. Analysed by
any moral spectroscope he has disnlaved
INES which could be recoonizs5 &c
i.opLvsehtailVe OF no known moral or
ihteliectual element. lie has fhus beffled
investigation, and even those who vera
1- -s comment that with the progress of sci
ence some theory which would adeonstsIv
explain, Talmage yyould he torr',,i.,tos
1e.hOhstrated, have been compelled to con-
.I snSt SO lar he has been as inexplicsble "a
the zodiacsl light N''''-' an
and yet, while Talmsge was to the scien-
-, ,r,au stumbling block. and TO the man
IL. =
ninlSe!i about to solve the mystery of
h iis oe,ng: Last Sunday Tslmsge explajred
hlinselI. de was preaching a sermon sgai-st
sP PI;.a aud in so doing incide?staIIy
oauil'Seu thst ne himself had seen spirits
or, 70 DC precise, that he had seen = sni-;,
the shape OF an eminent coc:or of 6;,ip niitI,'
nuaoiy rlulng astride the ioot-board of his
Deaostead. 1t was entirely upnecessarI, for
1sIinage TO explain that this was NOT a oan-
t uine splrit' since it is quite inconceivable
les nes Slniage Ia bed should be spectacle
Suulciently allaring to attract
DIsEMBoDIED DOCTOR OF D1,-1Sr-x
rom MS happy orthodox heaven. Never
theiess, Talmage took the trouble to assure
lis hearers that this apparently supernat-
uiai visitor was not the respectable thee.
logical ghost which he purported to be. but
was merely the result of "too much hot
mince-ple." And furthermore, he claimed
that all spiritual phenomsna have the
same prosaic origin. The Importance of
TINS admission in furnishing a kew to
1aIhaRe can not be overestimated intel
lectualiy and morally he is the result of
not mipce-pie. The explanation seems
wonderfully simple, now That wo have it,
and IL Is certainly strange that some nhvsi,
can FAMILIAR with the effects of the pje-babit
mas not long ago pointed out Talrnace as a
manifest victim OF pie. We have no reason
70 suppose that the particular Gebauch of
Inince-ple hot, and with or without sugar.
whlcn Ialmage SO enthusiastically confessss.
was an isolated instance of his being over,
taken By pie. Doubtless the habit Is with
MIN one OF long standing. 1t probably orig
mated IN his desire to add TO the brilliapcv
OF his sermons. The Rev. M.
S Wegifer i %ss accustomed, as Mr.;
himself up on toast and water" and Mr..
Ialmage may have argued from this exam
PIE tnst little pie might justihably be- en-
ployed TO stimulate his own mental powers.
beginning with small section of pumpkin
OF cnstard pie, be has probably glided by de-
grees into the use OF stronger stimulants.
In TACT no man suddenly becomes addicted
20 not mlnce-pie. II is only when the mild
exhllaratlon of cold pumpkin pie and the
stronger excitement of apples pie have paIled
upon him that the unhappy victim Of
HIS OWN UNBRIDLED APPETIrEs
turns to hot mince-pie as the last resort of
the confirmed and hopeless pie eater. To
the serious mind there is something mex
pressibly shocking in the spectacle of a
preacher preaching under the influence of
hot mince-pie. Indeed, now that we know
the real origin Of Tslmage's pulpit antics,
they seem even more repulsive than when
we regarded them merely as the manifesto.
tons OF some occult idiotic force We can
| not, of course, hold him responsible
for what he does or says alter the
quadrant of hot mince pie of which
he has partaken just before entering the pull
pit, has mounted to his brain, but he is
clearly responsible for having permitted
himself to form the habit which has so evil
dent and terrible hold upon him. Proba-
bly, it is too late for him now to reform. He
has already seen in a delirious vision a spec
trail and undignified doctor of divinity. A
few more such blood-curdling apparitions.
and the end of the victim OF pie is at
hand. May we not hope that the Young
and thoughtless who recklessly consumS
the adnlterated and deadly compounds
solo under the name of "iine old crushed
apple-pie" and sparkling cocoanut-pie"
VIII take warning by the melancholy spec
tacle presented in tie person OF TaImage?
This man, too, was once young and limo
cent, and would have Indignantly denied
the possibility that one day ne should be
habitually guilty of disorderly sermons,
yelled forth under the maddening influence
OF mince-pie. Such as he is to-day hun
dreds of our young men may become, unless
they resolve that in no circumstances will
they permit themselves TO become addicted
as habit to the private or social consump-
ton ofpie.