The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1875-06-17
Nhe Sfsrk Goun pmp1rat g2urAyA t gnmsAg une H. S7S ~
Z THR NUTYEM HOUSE.
STRIVE d syErr, PRoFRtEToFs.
' ASaponaceous Springs, N. Y.

@SaponaceouS springs, M l.
This hotel has been built and arranged
for the special comfort and convenience
of summer boarders. On arrival, each
guest will be asked how he likes the sit
uation, and if he says the hotel ought to
have been placed upon the knoll or fur
ther down toward the village, the loca-
ton of the house will be Immediately
changed. Corner front rooms, up only
one flight for every guest. Baths
gas water closet, hot and cold water
laundry, telegraph, restaurant, tire-alarm
bar-room, daily paper coupe, sewing ma.
chimes, grand piano, clergyman, and all
other mOder1 conyeniences, in every
room. Meals every minute If desired,
and consequently no second table. Eng
lish, French and German dictionaries
furnished every guest 10 make up such a
bill of fare us he may desire, without re-
gard to the bill affair afterward in the
Office Walters of any nationality and
color desired. Every waiter furnished
with libretto, button hole boquet, full
dress suit, ball tablets, and his hair part
ed in the middle. Every guest will have
the best seat in the dining hall, and the
best waiter in the house.
| Any guest not getting his breakf st red
hot, or experiencing II delay OF sixteen
seconds after giving his order Ordinner,
will please mention the fact at the office,
and the cooks and the waters will be
blown from the mouths of cannon in
front Of the office. Children will be well
coined with delight, and are requested to
bring hoop-sticks and hawkeys to bang
the carved rosewood furniture especially
provided for that purpose, and peg tops
to spin on the velvet carpets; they will
be allowed to bang on the pianos at all
hours, yell in the halls, slide down the
banisters, fall down stairs, carry away
dessert enough for small family in their
pockets at dinner, and make themselves
as dissagreeable as the fondest mother
can desire.
Washing allowed in rooms, and ladies
giving an order to "put me on flat iron"
will be put on one at any hour of the day
or night. A discreet waiter who belongs
to the Masons, Odd Fellows and Knights
of Pythias, and who was never known to
even tell the time of day, has been en-
| ployed to carry milk punches and hot
toddies to ladies' rooms in the evening.
Every ladywill be considered the belle
of the house,and row boys will answer the
belle promptly, Should any row boy
fail to appear at guests door with a
pitcher of ice water, more towels, gin
cock k-tail and pen, ink and paper, before
the guests hand has left the bell-knob,
he will be branded Front" on the fore
head and imprisoned for life.
The office clerk has been carefully Sc
lected to please everybody, and can lead
in prayer, play draw POKER match worst
ed at the village store, shake for the
drinks at any hour, day or night, play
billiards, a good waltzer, and can dance
the German, make fourth at eucher,
amuse children, repeat the Beecher trial
from memory, is good judge of horses,
as a railway or steamboat reference is far
superior to Appletons' or anybody else's
guide, will firt with any young lady,and
not mind being cut dead when "pa comes
down" Don't mind being damned any
| more tnan COnneCtlCuI river. Odll
room forty people in the best room in the
house, when hotel is full, attend to the
annunciator and answer questions in
Greek, Hebrew, Choctaw, Irish or any
other polite language at the same mo-
ment without turning hair.
Dogs allowed in any room in the house
including the with zine room. Gentlemen
can drink, smoke, chew, gamble, stare at
the new arrivals, and indulge in any 9th.
erinnocent amusement common to wa
tering places, in any part of the hotel.
The landlord will always be happy to
hear that some other hotel is "the best
house in the country" Special attention
given to parties who can give information
as to chow these things were done in
Yew.up." The proprietor will take it as
personal affront if any guest on leaving
should fail to dispute his bill, tell him he
is a swindler, his house barn, his table
wretched, his wines vile, and that he, the
guest, was never so imposed upon in his
life, will never stop there again, and
means to warn his friends.