Weekly Trinity journal., 1875-04-03
NOAH'S BIG CANOE.

Elder Hammond's description of the
construction Of the ark, as given in one
Of his Sacramento sermons, is not bad.
We copy from the Bees report:
After more prayer, remarks and sing
ing, Hammond commenced his sermon,
taking as his text Noah and the food.
His description Of the interview between
Noah and the shipbuilder was inmitable,
but where he he gets his authority for the
exact words is beyond our comprehension.
" | want you TO build me a ship" said
Noah.
"All right, Mr.. Noah; you've got lots
of money, and pay promptly. l should
like to build a ship for you very WE'LL.
Noah fears the carpenter will back out
and an agreement is drawn up by which
the latter is TO receive SO much per week
for his work. The carpenter goes home
and addresses his wife with:
Well, wife, I've got job"
Where ?" asked his gentle spouse.
"I'm going to build ship for old No
ali down here"
What does he want of ship ?" in
quired the wife.
Don't know; some Crotchet that the
old fellows got in his head.
The work commences, but Noah and
the carpenter came very near having a
row when the first antediu uvian said to the
second that he must cut six white oak
logs 6l5 feet long, and build the ship on
his meadow. The carpenter objects be-
cause it is "on dry land" Noah draws
the agreement on him and the carpenter
shouts
Come on, boys, call up the cattle !;
lets get those logs. Old Noah's as crazy
as a loon. He's going to build ship on
dry land ha, ha, ha !"
A voice in the far distance calls out in
wonder, shouts across lots to the carpen-
ter and his men:
Hey, there, what ye doing"
And the carpenter replies
Building a ship on dry land"
] n,
where else would Noah have built his
ark ? In our humble opinion the carpen-
ter was fully as great fool as Noah, if
he thought ships should be constructed
in mid-ocean or anywhere else than on
dry land. After the fatboat was built,
people began to inquire what the different
compartments were for. This was for
the elephants, this for the lions, these for
the spotted monkeys, and this stall with
the racks near the roof, was for the
giraties. Then the people all turned out
"to have some fun with the crazy old
fool" One individual made the remark /:
" | say, Noah, how are you going to
catch all these animals ? Your big, lazy
boys will never catch 'em."
81 know it," was the sad reply of No
nh, Z" but they'll come, never fear"
Whenever any one in those antediluvian
times was heard to favor Noah and his
ship, he was said to have Noah on the
brain," just as people are said to have
"revval on the brain" now. Infants of
l05 years of age, led by their fathers and
mothers Of 300 and 400 years, came out
to see Noah s folly, and on one occasion
number Of octogenarian hoodlums cast
stones upon the roof and made Noah
think it was raining. At last the big wet
came and all the people were drowned
except those in the ark. The speaker
described the attempted escape of a moth
or and three children. lie led them to
the summit Of mountain, the waters
following close behind, and as an illus
tration of how they brought stones to
stand on, stepped into chair, and stood
high above the audience. About the
time the water should have reached the
mothers lips, Hammond fell back as she
might have done, giving the chair kick
over as the stones were probably kicked
over.