Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1875-09-10

IN unDer AZ
ALL SORTS.
! Are not curtain lectures species of lay
preaching.
Tho best sermon In the world won {
stand an eighteen-minu,e prayer.
Thirtyseven foreign Governments have
ncceptcd the Centennial invitation.
lor me.-lJosh Billings.
The new style Of psntaloons to he worn
this fall will be large enough to tie back.
II you wish to make an editor madder
than March hare just whistle in his sarc.
tum when he is trying to write leader:
Some very candid sort of person asked
jefferson Davis tine other day if he con-
sidered himself an honest man. jeff.
viewed his interrogator moment with
some surprise, and then pleasantly oh.
served: ''It's 90 long since Eve had any
official business in Washington, that I
cant tell."
The Detroit Free Press says that s'Du.
mas. the French author, has written ro-
nance in which An American coon cbasea
a couple of American lovers up tree and
tries to gnaw the tree down. He Gays the
coon was az big as yearlinz calf"
The Fat Contributor wife will be homo
from France next month, and be has com.
menced to assume an innocent expression
Of countenance and to plan out whist he'll
tell her.
The woman who can sit on the fence
and read dime novel while saw-ng 70
chasing her husband down hill lives in
this State and doesn't care copper cent
for newspaper critlcisms.-tExcbangc.
If a Miss is as good as mile, how good
is a Mrs ?-[Whitehall Times Well. WI
kins, if she be true wife she is As much
better than miss as diamonds are better
than Observation-Disclosures Republican.
Dickens always believed in Spiritnalism
after asking at seance the attendance OF
the spirit of Lindley Murray. and being
answered by the spectre, TO whom he put
the question. 'Are you the ep'rit If Lind
ley?" II are"
A French lady sent her maid IN buy
some flesh colore,l stockings The servant
returned with stockings jet black Tho
anger of the mistress soon gave way to
laughter when she recollected that her
maid was q lady Of color.
Since the year 1900 England has waged
forty nine wars; France. thirty -eigh';
Russia. twenty-five; Anstr', twelve;
Prussia, eight; and in spite OF all tl''
peace societies and international conven-
tions they all appear anxious tor another.
An Indiana schoolboy has written his
name high up on the scroll of fame this
time. His teacher wanted IL know the
number of zones -Four" was the reply;
''the horrid. the frigid, the temperate and
the intemperate" He will enter the lee.
turc field this fall.''
A little girl of four or FIVE years asked
her mother one day If she had not scen
Col Porter, mo, my child" was tho
reply, The died before you wero born."
"Well, but, mamma" shc insiste'i, III he
went up before I came down. We must
have met"
The Representative In Congress of tho
Springfield district of Massachusetts be-
gan life as ccachman, snd by changing
from box to tox he now possesses one oe
his own with ten millions of dollars IN ".
And today he has fold of tho rcins on
tho national foot board. Go driving, young
man.
"Whcn lovely woman wells her bosom
With muslin fashionably thin.
What man with eyes could e'cr relu-e 'cm
From casually peeriug IN:
And when his ardent gaze returning.
The cry goods heaved 10 deep drawn
signs.
Would not his finger enda be burning
To-press his hat down over his cycs!'
She stood over the wasl,.tub with one Of
her husbands stockings in her hand. anil
remarked 10 Mrs. Migg!cs: ''lle'. ben
good husband to me- never had NO
trouble with him. It's goin' on seven year
now that I've washed for HIM. Do I think
it's askin' too much: Oh. no Que shirt y
week, two collars, one p.ir Vt stockings.
one pocket-handkerchief and no drxwc,x
He's what call whole man. Mrs. Mig.
gles.'' And she slashed fly off the back
of her neck with the dripping Stacking
and went to work again like a good wife.
A lately appointed postmaster Of west.
ern Massachusetts, town wcnLto Boston
the other day, to equality" AID have his
bond for 5000 approved The bond waA
all right. and the regular question was pnt
to the r. NJ: "How much sN you worth.
sir!" ''Wal," he yep!ie.l. II don't tell
haow much I'm worth. Rradstreet sess
me At $4,000. I guess you'd betser put
me down At that 6gger." How much do
the assessors set you at:'' "Wal, the asses.
sors don't Sc: me at quite so highA fgger
but (in . confidential whiSperl. tween
you'n me, I'm one of the as,cssufa,''
One Sunday evening not long since Z
man was walking up and down in N agi.
tated manner under the first arch OF this
Pont Neuf in raria He wss just about
TO make the irrevocabis plunge into the
Seine when suddenly ho perceived wO-
man only few feet from hun rush for.
ward and throw herself lnin the ws,er,
lie jumped in after her and sIc.s slesi in
rescu,pg the would.be suicide. When in.
tenogsied at tbe station house hs admitted
that he had come to tho spot intending u
drown himself. It IL now suggested that
the two lives thus sayed must be designed
for one another.
Forewarned. forsasmed-(our reporter
before dinnei): '.Beg rard0n. my lord,
but could your lordship kioslly ohliee ma,
4. - - A. a