Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-20
ALI Sorts.

ALI Sorts.
A BIBU1oUs old man said the reason
he couldn't drink water was because it
tastes SO OF sinners since the flood.
KING KAnAKAUA is the only native of
| the Sandwich Islands who sports silk
hat. He bought one while in Chicago.
LEARN to sleep with one eye open. AS
soon as the chicken goes to roost it is a
good time for the fox.
HE last surviving child of John G.
Calhoun, the South Carolina statesman,
died recently in that state.
MASSACHUSETTS, is producing a supe-
rlor article of cod-liver oil from dog
fish.
CUBA in single year exported bees
wax and honey to the amount of $780,
900.
JOCKEYS are advised to go West be-
cause there IS always Racine Wiscon-
sin.I
S1x-NCH alligators are worth SO cents
apiece in New Orleans. Big ones are
measured off to customers at So
a yard.
A SON of Abdel-Kader has arrived in
Paris for the purpose of translating
into French work on African horses,
which he has just published in Arabia.
JANE" said a wag, Sc it's all over
town."
"What's all over town %
"Mud."
James eyes dropped.
The amount of exports of beads from
Vienna, to all parts of the world reach
es the enormous sum Of 313, 900 pounds
sterling, or nearly ST, 569, 600.
A SWEET potato plantation of 700
acres, near Atlanta, Ga, is expected to
yield 10000 bushels of the fayorite edi-
BILE.
OvERwoRK is authortatively announced
as the cause of most of the insanity
among the patients in the Bethlehem
Hospital, london.
WHEN a chapdenounces the editor of
paper as "a Tyre" shouldn't he be
made to Apologize Commercial Id
vertiser.
AN Ohio boy swallowed four or five
of the wheels of an eight-day clock, and
he has kept the whole family ssrun-
ming" ever since tho -Auer1t.
ALL the troops of the British Empire
are to be armed with the new Martin
Henry rifle at the end of the financial
year.
YOU'VE Lady" Well, now, and what
did the Israelites do after they crossed
the Red Sea?'' Sharp Girl eagerly:
6 Please, they put OF their dry things"
The chap who got note from his
girl saying, "Bee on hand this even
ing," sent her singing reply on the
subject of photography.
The total value of British exports of
home, foreign and colonial produce is
now more than double what it was in
1860, having risen from 28,000,0 600
to 958, 900, 900 sterling.
WHEN you see great big man knock
ing croquet balls up and down lawn
you may make up your mind that the
genius who invented the buck-saw
didn't know what he was about
IT is not advisable, after hitting a
ball in the national game, to sit down;
for you are likely to be declared out,
even though you are on your base
Cincinnati Times.
A PAIR of stairs that ordinarily are as
Solid - rock will straddle in the
joints and creak and crack together with
all the fervor of thunder clap when
one is trying to climb them noiselessly
late at night. Times.
"KEEP 'em alive boys, keep 'em
alive; dead men pay no bills, is what
an old doctor said to couple of young
scions just entering into medical prac
tice.
"IF dogs tail is cut off entirely,
will it not interfere with his locomo-
ton ?''' g Not exactly. It will not af-
feet his carriage, but it will stop his
Vaughn"
A WOMAN is very like a kettle, if you
come to think of it. She sings away so
pleasant -then she stops-and when
you least expect it, she boils over =
Judy.
AN organization for the purpose of
tanning hides by steam is about to be
perfected in Detroit. Several meetings
Of the shareholders have already been
held with this view.
The following is the copy of letter
recently sent to gentleman in England
by an insurance agent: ::sDear sir
hope to give you call tomorrow or
Wednesday, on my way to Cbard, and
shall be delighted to take your life"
TENNYsoN has 200 sheep, and is;
therefore, 1919 ahead of Mary.-Louss-
Ville CourSer-Journal. What's the ewes
now Of such remark as that, whether
it's true or not ?-St. Louis Republican.
Very sheep jokes, gentlemen. Chicago
Times.
SLANG is both strong and weak. Its
strength consists in the ability to ex-
press in it, sharp and nervous and full,
the idea intended to be conveyed. Its
weakness is in the fact that it is the Ian
guage of the unrefned, the uneduoa-
ted, the observation-disclosures NORTH
american.