The daily gazette., 1875-12-21
THE HOUSE | TOOK.
BY L. C. S.


limited, listened to the voice of th,
charmer, and was charmed. Like {
cobra in far off land. l had taken re-
fuge in hole that was deep, in my
natural reserve; but the charmer sal
herself down before me, and piped
until l danced-metaphorically, oil
course; and since then had to pay the
piper
My charmer was neither young, nor
pretty, nor amiable, nor pleasant of
voice; she was not even shapely. In
short, she was landlady, with a face
that whispered of either indigestion
or drains. Enough; she wheedled me,
and took her house on a lease for
fourteen years, at q moderate rent,
upon condition that would keep it in
repair; and before had been in it one
single week, woke to the fact that |
had been cruelty done.
We got over TIE smoking OF sundry
chimneys by means of cowls and re.
glster stoves; while in one case we
conquered an obstinate vapor v0miter
| 0y living ia the rooms without fire.
The dampness of sundry walls, too,
was removed by means of patent paper
But the intense difficulty of the case
was this-that daily awoke more and
more to the fact that mine was to be
a hydra destroying task; and, so sure
as l returned to partake of quiet
| dinner, the fair dame on whom / had
| bestowed nv affections in exchange
for her hand had some new head for
me to demolish.
News for you, my dear" say,
quoting from the latest paper; "its a
long lane that has no turning, the tide
begins to flow at last every prospect
OF battle, and the driving back Of the
Prussians.
Yes, dear is the reply; "but, do
you know there's such a smell in the
house
Can No; tut, tut! l thought we
were all right at last. That chimney
don't smoke now, does it,"
We'll, mot quite so much: but
the blacks are something frightful, and
as for the children in the nursery
Mary says the more she washes them
the blacker they get, and what she is
to do she don't know"
Leave EN- unwashed, of course :"
Edward how can your exciaims
my wife. "iou little know how un-
| pleasant it is"
What, being black?-or being
washed so many times"
"Absurdl l mean, the trouble. I
have with the servants"
ira New nHs.is tact ct in lli history" say, help
say, this sauce is full of smuts."
And likely to be, Edward" said
my wife, with the air of martyr" ;"but
carbon, to told me the other day, was
wholesome; a dreadful smell is likely
to send US into low fever. I'm sure
it's the drains"
drop my knife and fork-for right
or wrong, always use knife to soles
I-thust my hands into my pockets, and
lean back, whistling softly. For there
is something sawful in the sound, as
the smell, of drains; I'll tell you why.
Memory brings up time when we
were invaded by bricklayers. who
! mined and traced our drains from the
road, right through the house, to the
bottom of the back garden, driving us
mad with the odor of sulphureted hy-
drogen, and spending weeks in what
seemed to me to be using q great cop.
per soup ladle, to lift out a horrible
black mud, that seemed to verify the
old adage respecting stirring.
was aroused from my reverie by
my wife's voice:
well, what is to be donee"
''If l had only known this little
sooner" l muttered.
But then. did not know it; and, to
make long story short, I'VE had to suf.
fer the sulphureted hydrogen, the
black mud, the copper ladle, and,
worse than all, the remarks of the
bricklayer, who, regardless of the fact
that we had only been in the house
couple Of months, said:
''As he never did see drains in sech
state in his life, and he couldn't un.
derstand what We was a.thinking
Of"
The wretch evidently was of the
opinion that we were the dlrtiest peo.
pie on the face of the earth, and that
the state of the drains was entirely
due to our neglect; and the way he
grumbled to the cook was something
terrible.
We got rid OF the man at the last;
but the smell of the new mortar was
almost as bad as the drain, though we
consoled ourselves with the know.
ledge that it was more wholesome.
But now arose fact in natural his.
tory that would have warmed the
heart of Frank Backland; but, not
being naturalist, much regret to
say that all did was to swsar-with
good reason, you may say, when tell
you that the black beetles did not like
the lime in the mortar, and came out
in droves such as would have startled
the very Egyptians in the midst of
their direst plaques. }
We found it out in this wise. FAX.
ing q nocturnal anti.burglar rambls, to
see that all locks and bolts were en-
regle, we descended to the darkened
kitchen, when-pop! pop! at every
step-our progress was absolutely dis
gusting; and in spite of my wife's
faint screams, and graspings of her
garments to raise them above the
reach of the obnoxious insects, rush. |
Il anI ~, n ,,,ol