Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1875-03-06
KUES AND MAYNARD.
Our Champion soaiIavrag's Bid for
VIII the EarFRga1sett Take His Car

New York Sun, March 3.
A scallawag named Num- contrived
to creep into the present Congress from
the Eight District OF Tennessee, be-
cause the opposition divided its strength
between three candidates who combined
had majority of nearly SIX thousand.
He was buried out of sight at the cleo
ton last fall, and probably will never
be heard of again unless he should turn
up among the antipodes.
OF course this distinguished patriot
expects to be taken care IT by paternal
government, which provides Offices for
for condemned CongreS smen, and levies
war taxes to pay for tleir support as
partisan pensioners. Maynard is to 60
on a mission, and why should not Mum
ornament the civil service in some 9TH
er station?
Not to be outbid by the third-term-
ers who VIII crowd the White House
lobbies tomorrow, hat in hand, claim
ing recognition and reward. Num- has
gone a step further ami nominated the
President for Dictator, or in his own
words:
"Allow me to say here, MIR. Speaker,
that 1 had rather see Grant with the
confidence I have in his ability, with
the confidence I have in his integrity,
and with the confidence ] have In his
patriotism, I would rather see him
Military Dictator than see any man on
earth President Of the United States
who would sit silently by and see the
weak and the helpless trOdden down
and oppressed without attempting to
stop it."
Now, if there is a vacancy for depu-
ty sculhon or boOtblack about the
White House, here is exactly the fell
low to fill it. Amid the rush of appt-
cants after the adjournment, heclaims
of Mum should not be forgotten.
There are conflicting reports about
the mission to Constantinople. 1t is
said that Maynard, of Tennessee, Is to
be sacredly set apart Tor this service;
and at the best there Is a nebula Of
uncertainty on the question. When
doctors disagree the dubitation is un-
pleasant; when the Jenkinses of Wash
ington cross fire in information doubt
becomes confomlding.
We have a high appreciation Of Mr..
Maynard, and cOncede thath he deserves
an honorable banishmsnt to some eli
gible foreign court. His merits are
great, but his distinguishing gift is
hair. Years ago, when he entered Con-
gress, with his tall and stately figure,
long and raven locks depending upon
his shapely shoulders, we unused upon
Apollo and meditated upon all the
other good-loOking gods. Time has
wrought its work of devastation upon
bis glossy tendrils. True loyalty and
a recent canvass for the Office of Gov
ernor have planted an occasional insid-
ious fading TO gray, beyond, we fear,
even the renovation o. Ayers hair dye.
But Maynard is still debOnnaire and
winsome. How many uDcOnfding hus-
bands In the valleys of the Cumber-
land hills have put razor to jugular
and hempen thong to gullet will not he
enumerated until Tipperary Sheridan
sets his fingers to the wires, or George
E. HOar investigates; and then We
shall have the mathematical accuracy
Of figures.s
But this is personal, and we expand
to an international perspective. The
rulership and the domestic Institutions
Of Turkey are distinct and different
from those Of other natiOnalities, uni IS
possibly we must except the city Of
Brooklyn. The softer sex are a con-
Joint power IN the seragliO. The as.
sorted Variety Of lOTeiness Is congrega-
ted with a lavish outlay Of sequins.
The Sultan is Jealous Of his Jewels.
Although located on a water front,
there IS no provision OF life preservers,
while Of seamless bags a heavy stock is
always kept on hand.
We do not impUgn Mr.. Maynard's
chaste cOnscientiOusness. He Is an
alumnus Of Amherst College, and his
physical proclivities have in his educa-
ton been duly subordinated to the
moral bumps Of his CTaniOlogy; but can
he withstand the temptations of the
"black eyes and lemonade" of
the hours Of a Turkish para
disc, and stand firm under the
grape Of pomegranate blossoms
and the cannonade OF rosebuds from
the grated windows of the palace
prison? The experiment is too hazard
Gus. The possibility that after May
nard has presented his credentials,
Sultan Abdul Aziz nay pluck his Mos
lem beard In rage ard order a whole
sale delivery of sacks full of Circas-
SLAMS to the deeps Of the Bosphorus, Is
a sad foreboding to the humanitarian.
What may be the result to our ma
rine? Imagine one of tho "tall ad-
mirals" Of Secor Robson attempting
to steer a squadron to the anchorage
OF the Golden Horn, and stranding his
keels IN a channel choked by the vic
Tins of the wrath Of the commander
of the faithful. Forbear, o Great and
Good Ulysses, forbear! We adjure
you by the love Of the third term, do
not renew the defamation of the VIII
derness on the shores of the Helles-
pOnt.