Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1875-01-18
TAKING THE EDGE OFF.

nuf Iry-eyeu, cdudNeTous lelloN etcppeu
into a restaurant on Fourth street and
said he wanted cup of coffee and a
piece of bread and butter. The waiter
told him that the place sold nothing
short of complete dinner, and the price
was fifty cents. Said the stranger.
well, you see, | amt real hungry, and
| only want little coffee and bit of
bread"
Waiter-It makes no difference we
sell a whole dinner for fifty cents. and
nothing else.
Stranger-You give hull dinner for
fifty cents?
Waiter-Yes, a whole dinner; roast
meat, potatoes, succortash, bread, butter,
pie. pudding coffee and tea.
Stranger-Well, s'pose you give a
man all he wants to eat?
Waiter-Oh, yes we fill you up for
fifty cents, and give you solid, good,
plain meal.
Stranger-Well, I've half mind to
eat with We. The fact is the ole womin
give me half loaf of bread and a
piece of cold corn beef for bite, and |
eat that up at Carpenters jcs now with
a glass of beer. / thought Id like a
good cup of coffee and little bread and
butter to kind 0 wash the thing down
but ye say ye can't gim'e that ?
Waiter-No, sir. Well give you, as
I've said, solid, square meal for fifty
cents. You can eat as little or as much
as you please.
The stranger eyes opened and looked
thoughtful for a moment, and then,
striking his fist on the table, he exclaimd.
"By gum | b'leeve I'll take it. l
amt right real hungry, but bring on
yer roas' beef and taters, suckithash,
tea, coffee, bread, pie and puddin' Bring
'em on. BY gum, I'm in for a square
meal, and my fifty cents worth T. The
waiter hurried to respond, and the way
the strangers knife and fork played
between his mouth and the plates was a
caution to creased lightning. 1t beat
half a dozen pair of castinets. and
sounded more like one of Billy McAlis-
ter's bone solos than anything else we
ever heard. The waiter stood agbast.
and when he turned up with the third
plate of roast beef the proprietor, pale
as marble, from a Vermont quarry,
called him aside behind the bar.
"For Gods sake, who is that fellow"
said he, she eats victuals as fast as a
threshing-machine swallows straw" The
strangers plates were beginning to show
bottom again, and his eyes were running
up and down the room for the waiter.
He did not stop in his eating, but simply
turned his back and let fly against the
wall with his heels.
"Gi' me S more roast beef and tater's, !"
he shouted.
The landlord raised his hands in
horror.
"Great heavens, James, he'll clean US
out, said he, as the waiter sprang for
the kitchen.
.'Ain't ye got MORN wun kind of pie?"
inquired the stranger.
''Oh, yes, said the waiter
"Well, then, bring it on. and giv's
sum o that puddin' too. Jemimy, f /
was only hungry, how Id clean ye out !
Bring me two cups of coffee and cup
of tea. too, amt only jis beginning to
eat"
The landlord listened with dismay.
and stopping the waiter, as he entered
the kitchen for the fifteenth time. walk
ed solemnly up to the stranger and
said:
"See here, we amt got enough in the
house to feed you. just 60 on now,
will call it all square. You needn't pay
cent for what you've had"
The stranger became indignant, and
declined, saying that his appetite was
just coming, and winding up with a
very emphatic:
Hanged if / will"
| A bright thought struck the landlord.
as he walked off in mental agony. Has
tening to the bar, he jerked open the
till, pulled out half dollar. and. rush
ing up to the stranger, placed it in his
hand.
Here. here, said he. '.take this and
90 right up to Holly Tree Inn. and clean
'em out. Go OH. They'll feed you till
you bust for fifty cents =
WELL" said the stranger, az he
gradually arose and stretched himself.
at the same time putting the scrip into
his vest pocket, Il don't mind ef | do
take it. | amt very hungry anyhow.
| only wanted a cup Of coffee and a
piece Of bread and butter, when | come
in, but I'm jis as we'll satisfied. guess
I'll buy the old mare some oats wait
until get hum to finish up" and be
left.
A Richmond gentleman stripped him.
self, hung his apparel on the saw buck
and retired on a pile Of cordwood, Hi
mistake was discovered By his wife. whC