The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1875-02-24
scat!

is suspected Of nightly participation
in the most riotous proceedings when
general humanity have retired to
rest. full Of jealous doubts and with
outrageous clamor, fighting through
the dark. ambiguous hours, reckless
Of all order and local peace? Cir
cumstantial evidence is strong against
him, though daylight see his calm
face. and, as usual, undisorder ap-
oearance at the earliest meal hour.
Our Preside companion is no other
than the midnight brawler-the quar-
rel picker, whose outcries rend the
still air and whose most inviting voice
arouses the sleep of Indignation and
the practice of nocturnal trajectory
with hap-hazard materials in his in
definite direction. Yet if his placid
c~ounteuance is to be taken for testi-
mony an abb might be proved. How
he comes so clean and trim from his
chosen scenes Of antagonism in out
Of the way corners, deserted lots and
general rubbish, is a marvel; certain
it is his unexceptional condition is
unreconcilable with established repu-
tation. His large family connection
infuse no respectable restraint upon
his habits, inasmuch as he is ready
to take up a dispute with his own rel
atiyes and strangers indiscriminately;
though to do him justice, be never
Injuries one of the weaker sex, but,
on the contrary, is ever willing to
fight former regardless of the frequent
occasion.
This Don Giovanni of the back
sheds-this bashaw Of man tails with
an arrear seraglio-this tenor of the
yards-is no other than our special
favorite, Thomas" This surname we
suppress), just % doing his mus
tachios and back hair, an employment
occupying all his leisure moments
during the day, when not recupera-
ting his nerves in sleep. Listen to
his d~eferential and melodious re-
Spouse TO the touch Of approval; can
be be the author Of those frightful
yells upper register) that alarm the
sacred hours Of Somnus2 Observe
the graceful, waving elevation of his
caudal attachment, in changing lines
of beauty, sleek and smooth is it
the same appendage darkly see fly
ing over fences like an animated hand
brush, associated with discordant ex-
carnations ex%postulative screams, rag
ing shrieks and a-cciaccaturas of an
guishl Alas! there is no doubt Of
it, for loud have been the remon-
strances of broken rest carefully
traced to the domicils Of Tom. A
neighbor of explosive disposition
land under such condition blind to
locality eliminated his indignation
in q charge of shot, starring the
kitchen windows opposite, to his sub
sequent relation with a glazier. De-
mandatory explosives (in the most
condensed form) have been heard
from open easements while Thomas
was settling one of his numerous
presumption claims to the collective
arrear. Missiles of crockery, hurled
by hands nerveless from recent re-
pose, fall crashing in the wrong
place, and on one occasion elevated
too much, passing first through the
window panes.
No ordinary ~projectile ver an
swered the object till one genius in
troduced the employment Of torpe-
does, which, spreading like canister
and grape, effectually dispense q large
vocal party Tom had somehow col
lected and wal leading in a bass bar
itone, his usal fine tenor being reduc-
ed for the time by a bronchial affec-
ton caught while on q distant mis-
sion in behalf Of the Latter Day
! Cats.
As near as we a calculate, he
has polygsmatic control of twelve
double sheds and q blind alley (the
latter perilous from line shots). Over
these be has fought a thousand ques-
tons of precedence, his later expert
ence being rendered more difficult by
some intervening Improvements Of
high lattices, over which active young
TOmdon escapes the more extreme
penalties Of claws in the constitution.
Already the signs of superseding in
fuence have threated the feline Den
tatus in several severely contested
combats, requiring all the address
and skill of our veteran, but as yet
be lives to successfully tally his
scores of victories on the ~retreating
backs of his cnvious opponents.
We were once q witness to one of
these warlike meetings on rather even
circumstances. A Maltese stranger,
dropping from a tall fence, suddenly
became rigid on touching the ground,
having Unexpectedly found himself
in the presence of Tom, who also
struck an attitude at the same time,
developing his tail latterly, the ter
minus only exhibiting action in con-
v~ulsive twitches. Both instinctively
felt that q meeting was unavoidable,
vet hesitated to take the initiative;
but the Maltese, being on the slippery
edge of a Rubicon ditch, was finally
compelled to leap across, though much
encumbered by his enlarged continu-
alton trailing heavily behind him.
At this moment Tom instantly made
a dromedary's bunch, but his oppo-
nent, having resumed his %statuesque
caution, the back gradually subsidized
into a compromise Of electrified fur,
accompanied by a demonstrative huml
and broadsword cuts one and two Of
his tail. Strictly speaking, he had
the advantage Of superior elevation,
and as his enemy softly extended q
paw to imperceptibly gain ground
and flank a position. Thomas sud-
denly struck out from the shoulder
and raked his adversary's ears. A
frightful veil and squall followed,
amid rapid eountering blows, and
Doth became suddenly stiff-necked
and giared defiance, the howl falling
70 the conventional hum and four
inches OF each tail vigorously strik-