The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1875-11-18
SUNBEAMS.
hemp cures felo2s.

All ttllitlId iltbl htu II uJhV VI u
shotgun fired through him, ard tac only
damage was "a durn queer feeling"
Anew Jersey editor. who pretends to be
rGniiiar with Spanish politics, says that
Alfonso wa san ulcel overcoat.
"Missa Speakah 7" howled a member Of
kellogg's Legislature. "Ordah dar 70 re,
Iltes the speaker.
The Grand Duchess Constantine Of Rus.
STA, has the finest set of hair ~jewelry in the
~lrld. The Grand Duke is entirely bald
A Pennsylvania boasts that he makes
q soap that would wash a politician char
actcr white as snow There must be a
good deal OF ''lye" about that soap.
4 Kentucky paper endeavors to pay a
delicate compliment to "a favorite actress
by calling her "a sweet little red-haired
Tchaudelier kicker"
Boy on his uncle's knee-"Uncle, what's
that in your throat? ?" Uncle-"lrhat's an
Adams apple" Boy "Adam's apple
Has it got a stem ?"
Only three guests were bid, and thirteen
crowd the hall
Oui "dutI III oJS soup, dllu D1u llSLl Wcl-
come all.
Il don't care a cent for fashion-I've
got to scratch my heel! !" exclaimed a De
troit MAJ as he pulled Of his boot in a
street car, recently.
The question for discussion at a recent
meeting of scientists was, (Which travels
fastest. heat or cold ?" 1t was decided in
favor Of heat, as many present had often
been able to catch cold.
"Sunthin's wrong. Unused n Tennessee
farmer when he visited his smoke-house the
other morning after setting a spring gun
and failing to find a dead negro in front
Of it.
France out some more pancakes p
warmed William McDuf, as he sat at a ia
HE in Kansas City; and us the waiter
wouldn't prance EN-, Mr.. McDuf split his
ear with a bowie knife.
Leaves have their time to fall
And flowers to witller at the north winds
moan.
And men to die; but all,
The salary-grab at all times claims its own.
Somebody who has heard of a proposition
to have separate street cars for women
says that he sees no necessity for it, as he
never had any objection to riding in the
same car with a
Conversation at the breakfast table:
Smith-"Ain't John late in bringing the
mail this morning ?' Jones-'I guess
there is something in the postal cards that
he doesn't understand"
A pilot on the Mississippi ~telegraphed to
his wife in New Orleans, ~'Ice-bound, my
dear" Her reply was, Dear Hubby
Take blue mass at night and a Seidlitz
powder in the morning"
A Chicago man closed his testimony in
his Sction for divorce from his wife as fol-
lows 81 don't want to say anything again
the woman, Judge, but [ wish you could
live with her a little while"
"Where is the hoe, Sambo ?" ovid de
rake, Massa.' "Well, where is the rake ?"
f'Wid &c hoe" But where are both?''
bof togeder; you pears to be berry
C%ticular this morning"
Now, then, children" said a parish
Echool-mistress showing her children off
6n examination day; who loves all mem"
You, m~issus," WAS the unexpected re-
ply.
A Memphis fortune teller tolda man that
a fortune of $4,000 was coming to him the
next week, and he shelled out $50 to his
wife to buy a new suit. When too late he
learned that his wife had fixed the thing
with the old woman.
Petersham has produced an auctioneer
who tells the truth. He recently told a
bidder: you've got a good bargain on that
sleigh you bid off for $3.50. 1t is just as
good for the hens to roost on as n that
cost 500"
While Il couple of women we're discussing
the other day, the merits of a certain ply
sician, n of them asked the other what
kind Of a doctor he was. Sure, | Dunno
was the reply, but l think it's an alapaca
doctor they call him."
"Nhat you take your mother-in-law out
shooting?" says a French sportsman in one
Of Chants pictures to another sportsman.
Eyes is the reply, with a % frame gun |
haze presented her, there's no knowing
what may happen"
A lovely young man with q sealskin cap
and an Ulster coat, adorned with ~rosettos
behind and silk scollops on the shoulders.
vas observed trying to break a hole in tn,
Colutlandt street sidewalk, this morning.
by sitting down IN it suddenly.
Well, Neighbor S~lummidge, how mucl
STALL l put you down for to get a chandelie.
for the church ?"
NeiqhJor S.-"Sho! What We want to gi'
a S~handy-leer for? The hain't nobody XIII
play onter it when We git it,"
A genial bald-headed gentleman, while il
Paris, went one day to the Geological Gar
The weather was warm, and he laid
down on a bench. PRESENTLY he fell asleep,
ana he was aroused by q warmth about the
head. An infatuated ostrich had come
along, and, installing his bald head for an
eug, settled down, with the determined res
olution to hatch it.
4 vrry practical sermonizer made thcs,
remarks on the soul saving question: my
brethren, a man cannot afford to. lose his
soul. He's got but one, and he can't get
another. If a man lose his horse, he can
,eat n%notlier; if a man lose his wife he can
e,t i..other; if a nan lose his child he can
at another. But if he lose his soul, good
bye, joint
..IIow long have you lived in this eoun-
ts p asked a lawyer of a deaf witness, who
had been called to prove the old boundaries
Of a farm. "Hey p said the witness, put
ting his hand behind his ear. "How long
have You lived in this county, roared the
lawyer. "Oh, yes, that's it; about two
rods,'' said The witness, leaning forward.
"You may step down p yelled the lawyer.
well, it might be'a little more" said T.
witness, who was then led off byan Officer
the court.
KEEP TO ONE THING.-Let every young
man after he has chosen his vocation stick