The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-06-19
VARIETY.

OrERy.-What becomes Of q mans word when
he won't keep it and no one else will take It.
Baltimore girl, worth S45, 900, wants to
marry some yonng man who has learned
trade.
:. Here's another doughmestic difficulty said
a BROOKLYN woman she found her bread heavy.
IL mot a positive proof that a man is not a
free AGENT when ne goes to the expense OF enter
tanning a company in honor Of the birthday OF ms
mother-in-awr
40! I've loved before said a Detroit woman
10 her fourth husband, as she took handful oil
hair from his head because he obected to hang out
the weeks washing.
Teacher. First boy, what is your name?''
Eirst bov-ss julie. sir y Teacher You should
saw Julius. Next boy, what is your nameT"
Seeond-bOy 80 Billius, SIR
= waz in a. what he knows about farming"
gives a very good plan to remove widows weeds
He saws a good-lookiDg man has only to say,
ssWilt thon % and they wilt.
The Salem Posi- thinks that if George Wash
in9ton had only been cToss-examined by Judge
FnIIerton before he died, 1t would have turned
out that he really lied about the cherry tree alter
all.
Six and n hall feet Of a bride stood before the
altar in a Paris church the other day ana prom
ised 20 love- cherish and obey three feet ana
quarter of bridegroom; and that Is the long ana
short Of it.
lewis remarks that while most any woman can
-. dovVn and gracefully in street car, not ono IN
n hundred can descend from the back end oi
buvgv when the horse Is RUNNING away without
feeling that she's going to over do the thing.
The coming insane asylum keeper to visitor ::
80 DO YOU mean that man with bis head bowed,
his ewes casr down and bis lips moyIngT On, yes !;
he was sueled down, too; but he keeps right on
practising just the same L believe ni' "Ofu Is
issyzygy
snow then. said a physician eheerily to q
,afient. YOU have got along tar enough 10 IN
doIge fa n 'I.ttIe animal food, and" =" No you
don7r doctor" interrupted the patients " We
,afered enough on your Cruel ana Stops anu
will starve sooner than to oegin on my Suu
oats"
A Pittsburg critic remarked that . Miss soi- %
de1e's month was suggestive OF the MammotE
60 and the next night when he presented
hi-,sslf for admittance, the French business man
- sold him. Not at all Eur you no see q
Mammoth Cave tonight oOnder any zeerkoom
stances. We will sell you no tickets
The Rev. Edward EggIestOn, who was both
ered witness in the Beecher trial, has writer
-evsnoe shall be putting Mr.. Fullerton IN a novel
as-s-;sIlv - his shaking fore-hnger, high-eheel
homes. polite sneer, air OF Omnlselence, @ Nolc
cooiD1 10 a badgered witness Ike the soothing
melody of a quartz mill, and all
rbs san Antouia CTe1as) Herald gives the lol
-, notice to It's subscribers: . Hereafter w
Ill 51bIish a LET Of the names OF those VINO 3
- - r., an the Lords Day and iaI 10 seno Us
L. 81 trout. Perch and suckers nave 20
1s s1L.ns b1nes in them to allow US to forget tna
- moral element OF our population lOoAs - - -
-sss 10 eradicate this growing desecra'ion u ~
Sabbath"
IT,, .,ss IN n nutshell. A lady entered a streS
- Picbmond. Va. not long since Inc on
-, ell =, ssat was by q matronly-looking colore
o--ap The latter politely drew away E He
sLirts and made all the room PosslOe- .--s t =
-, Southerner declined the seat Win sCo.I.' IL
80 If the head and tip OF the nose NOR I. -"
...,,re had given it. - Lor bless ye, nonoy ,
Ia ,be colored woman, smilngiy, " ye O"H'
me you'd sit in my lap
A Young lady writes to ask tns e., hSTnGI SnJ Il
Urn16eraf - what, after all, II 4 AA7S - -
aJ;,or proceeds to give definition OF k7s, - -
o1ebt 10 make that young woman get hei II, ~
55narv and never look at man again -,
Sss1;tiSn begins thus: '' In some Gases -I - nj
SyI..i--,aiI nineteen volumes Of lawsuit oounu
aIS eIOO 600 for unavoidable expenses, Hn Luiu
S,frDt,on q broken heart, smlrSnSu SH.- -
- a disbelief in the honesty ana the ~ tLien ~
- ~ ali mankind, the Suspicion OF vic ~ ~
slk;I a million curtain lectures, ETC., etc a.
- y1itb a. the gliding Of the cheek with 9ra
- ,bs re,1n OF the world, the hesh anu
o. 5eviI. - And vet there are people VINO VIII co
tinue to take the chances