The Caucasian. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1874-1875, 1875-01-02

-Subsoribe to the CAUCASIAN
Why is side. saddle like a four.
quart jug? Because it holdsa gall
on.
There is a man in New Jersey
who has not been to church for
twenty years. He boards at the
State Prison, Trenton. ~
"A Milwaukee woman's bonnet
costs, upon an average, about $15,
but she has the bill made out for
$50 or $40. in order to show it to
the woman next door,
Marble, men now make small
tombstones by the quantity, with
the epitaph already cut: ''Didn't
know it was loaded" They le:lvo
q blank for the name and age.
A spread.eagle orator wanted
the wings of bird to fly to every
village and hamlet in the broad
land, but he wilted when a naughty
boy in the crowd sang out !: "You'd
be shot for goose before you had
flied mile"
There will be seven colored
Representatives in the next Con.
gress. Thus they come, like Hia-
watha's gathering of the vultures.
First speck and then vulture,
Then another, and another,
Till tho air is dark with pinions.
DIR. Carpenter asserts that
Newton's law Of gravitation is Il
mere hypothesis. This is al age Of
disenchantment. Even the man
who falls in love with q beautiful
head of hair too often discovers that
it is a mere hypothesis too.
Miss Kellogg says that Amcri,
can girls have the sweetest voices
in the world. When one Of them
puts her mouth to a hole in the
fence and ''hollers'' to the girl next
door to "fctch back them crimping
irors," it fills the air with melody.
Tom Thumbs fortune is esti-
mated at 300, 200. 1t is strange the
world should have given him all
that money merely for the privilege
Of seeing him, when it would hard,
" give half the amount for the
privilege of seeing a dozen other
men three times his size.-[ Courier,
Journal.
When old Sam. Crowder, down
in Pike, was running for Justice Of
the Peace, his wife, in anticipation
of honors in store for her, said
"My dear, when You get to he JUS
tice Of the Peace. what will I he -
F" "You," said old Sam, "Why,
you'll be the same old fool you al
ways wasp
Our London dispatches tell us
that Berlin special told the Times
that Holstein told the court that
Landsberg told him that Arnim
told him that Bismarck was going
to war with France on account Of
the pastoral letters of the French
Bishops. Bismarck had no such
intention, SO Holstein told a friend
in Berlin to tell Bismarck that Ar
MIN was becoming nervous at a
critical period-all OF which il a
very lucid and satisfactory expla-
nation of. why ArDim was 40 anxious
to keep the letters and Bismarck
so anxious to obtain them.-I Cou.
yier-.JOurp0l.
A chap from the Western part
of the State went to bed at one of
the hotels the other night, and
blew out his gas instead Of turning
it off. The gas rushed out, the
room was close, and in about half
an hour the smell became SO strong
that the stran ger got out of bed,
opened the dooor and shouted for
the clerk. The clerk came mp and
to know what was up.
/" l never stopped in Detroit over
night before" replied the stranger,
land l don't know but this smell is
all right, but it pears to me as if
something had busted somewhere"
Some Of the New York papers are
as curious item, state
ment to the effect that a horse in Iowa
pulled the plug out ola bunghole Of
a barrel for the purpose of shaking his
thirst" We do not see anything ex-
traordinary in it. Now, if the horse
had pulled the barrel out of the bung-
hole and slaked his thirst with the
plug, or if the barrel had pulled the
bunghole ont Of the plug, and slaked
its thirst with the horse or if the plug
had pulled the horse out of tho barrel
and slaked its thirst with the bung-
hole or if the bunghole had pulled
the thirst out of the horse and plugged
it's thirst with slake, it might be worth
while tl make Il fuSs over it-fN n