West-Jersey pioneer., 1875-08-26
yos can pick out something for

yourself"
At twelve Smith sank into the arms O
Morpheus, and slept till three; but, alas
| waking, begged for his wife and wash
bowl. Both were forthcoming, as also th
expected result The rest Of the day, til
dark, the blinds were opened and shut, ant
Mrs. Smith stayed by to SEQ him be sick
About seven in the evening he dispairingl,
signified his wish to retire, adding:
6" suppose, of course, you don't fee
sleepy at ALL"
t "N-o,' said Mary, looking from the win
dow at lovely moon that was just rising
"n-o, not very"
'Well," said Smith, 'tdon't come if YOU
don't want to, but can't sit up any longer
and have an idea shall get to sleep."
| So Mary went to bed with her bearded
baby.
| A week had elasped. Smith was in good
| health and spirits. He could smoke. The
! world wasn't charne- house after all
Mary was fiat on her back with a nervous
headache.
DICK asked Smith.
Shocking pain in my temple" said
| Mary.
"What pity" answered Smith, pairing
his nails at the window, without turning his
head. ''1t's going to be such lovely day
quite like spring. Have you the least
idea where my gray pants are ?"
"No," said Mary, family from the pill
lows. 81 think in the closet"
''so-strange," said Smith, ssabout those
gray pants; l don't think they've worn
very well, do yous And do you know.
Mary, about the milk bill, whether it is
right or not? And by the way, did nv
shoes come home last night? And has that
man been to fi- the front doorp
"My head aches so bad" said Mary. that
can't remember anything. Biddy will tell
you.'
swell, Pm sorry for you," said Smith,
tying his cravat at the glass "The very
best thing for you is to keep quiet, and I'n
take myself out of the way. Sleep is the
thing for you.''
w OfHioh Poo Oil LID ucdPlCSt DALI Ol
boots, and went oil over the house, and let
the doors bang, and whistled the sStars and
Stripes and ate his breakfast, and then
came up to her to discuss the respective
claims of pork and beef and the chicken for
that days dinner, closing by another rec
ommsndaton to keep quiet, and not bother
herself about anything.
"No better ?'' asked Smith, reproach.
fully, at six o'clock that evening; emo bet
ter? l thought you'd be we'll, certainly, by
this time, after days quiet" Quiet ? |
She had half the whole kitchen retinue after |
her all day, asking more questions then |
there are in the Assembly's catechism, and |
the front door-bell ringing as if by order of !
the the fire DEPARTMENT.. but she. had .saiJl nnth-
would have replied, with that lordly wave /
of his hand with which men dispose Of such |
matters: ''You shouldn't allow such triaes |
to trouble you"
''No better, then?" Smith inquired, as if |
in gratitude to him he really deserved a |
modification Of her former reply-''no bet
ter ? Well, sleep, after all, is the best thing;
and, as can't do anything for you, think, |
az it is such a lovely night, that will stroll
out awhile. There, there" said he, pat
ting the end of the blanket, Ego to sleep
now" And close upon his retiring heels
she heard the laundering bang Of the front
door.
After divers and many comparisons be-
tween male and female headaches, Mrs.
Smith fell asleep, to be awakened about
twelve by Smith, who thumped up stairs
with his boots, and advised her again as to
the efficiency of sleep in case Of female head
ache Thsn-Smith went to bed, and slept
the sleep of the just, with not glimmering
of an idea that he was not the unseltishest
and lovinEest of husbands Indeed, had
his wife questioned it, he would have pointed
her to that column in the daily papers where
accounts are given Of husbands who make
it practice to crack their wives skulls
once = week; and placing his arms akin
DO, with 4 stern look, would have asked
her with his nose close to her face
"What if she had such a husband as
that ?'