The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-10-28
WHOLE NO. 1854.
Miscellaneous.

A lofty position-the top of an edito-
rial staff.
A bad place for the sons of Ham-Fri-
ar's Point.
What is the best thing 10 hold when
you get out of temper2 Your tongue.
ooh, mammal said the youngest dar-
ling yesterday, 81 tried to read, and
rode
The boy who was kicked out of time
by gun said he fred and fell back in
good order.
"Sambo, dis am magnificent day for
de race" What race, SamboP "Why,
de colored race, you stupid Nigga"
A young lady asked a bookstore clerk
the other day, if he had "Festus." mo"
replied the clerk, "but I'm afraid a boil
is coming on the back OF my neck
A youth called at the West Albanian
office one day, and, after watching them
set type awhile, said to one of the typos:
You use heap o four-penny nailsi i'A
BLESS you" said John Henry, with
tears in his eyes. ''she takes her own hair
off SO easy that perhaps she doesn know
how it hurts to have mine pulled out"
A Tennessee girl, riding on the cars,
crossed the aisle, kicked a young man up
against the window, and remarked: II
was orung up never to allow yaller-
eyed man to wink at me"
Ma" observed Blobb's little child re-
Hectively the other night as the first stars
nar l. 4l.x
those stars twinkle that way they must
tickle the angels feet?'
Nantucket has had but two days rain
and one shower since the last of June,
but the people were converted to lager
bier several years ago, and don't care
much if it never rains.
Wendell Phillips speaks of the Vene-
tian using paper money. Doubtless
Othello had just received his pay in that
currency when he exclaimed. He who
steals my purse steals trash p
An advertisement reads: "When you
travel, take the Panhandle Route"
Many man has been utterly routed by
a pan handle-With a mad and lively
woman having'hold of it.
PA, I guess our man Ralph is good
Christian" How so, my boy r "Why.
Pa, read in the Bible that the wicked
shall not live out half his days; and
Ralph says he has lived out ever since
he was little boy.
Now that neighboring grocer sends
his boy around every day to get paper to
wrap up old cheese in, there is not so
much objection as there was to our
fri n6c IN Sari iui, al
Anna Connect, pretty girl over in
New Jersey, was acquitted of the charge
of burglary, whereupon she threw her
arms around the Judges neck and kissed
him. Anu now all the married lawyers
around Plainfeld are candidates for
Judge.
Two loafers in Carrollton, Ala, passing
door in which white boy and a negro
were standing together, one of them re-
marked: There's fine pair of aces,
whereupon the boy in the door respond
ed: Yes, and there goes fine pair of
deuces"
An Englishman was boasting to Yam
kee that they had book in the British
Museum which was once owned by Cice-
ro. "Oh, that amt nothin', retorted
the Yankee, "in the museum in Bosting
they've got the lead-pencil that Noah
used to check off the animals that went
into the ark"
He was smoking cigar on a car where
there were ladies. A lady took out her
purse, got ten cents, and handed it to
the smoker. whats this for2' said he.
ITS to buy you good cigar when you
smoke in the presence OF ladies. He
threw his cigar out of the window, the
scrip in the ladys lap, jerked the strap,
and jumped out.
A French scientist has invented a new
fish bait A bottle is lowered into the
water and lighted by electricity, and the
fish are to follow it into net. But this
is method already employed in the
open air over in New Jersey One or
two bottles filled with Jersey lightning
will draw whole primary meeting.
ut was young and not at all good
looking lady who yesterday stepped out
of Third avenue car and disappeared
into a store in the Bowery, alter apollo
gizing to the conductor for asking him to
wait while she purchased eight yards of
muslin and materials for winter dress"
II was back in less than ten minutes"
she subsequently complained to a police
man, "but the car was gone.
G. w. Childs is writing for the Wash
ngton Republican now-at least we find
this in that paper:
While smoking on the powder-keg,
He dropped cinder down;
Then he rose like meteor,
To wear the golden crown.
Some to meet fellow who struck gly-
,erine can with a sledge hammer.
A colored man who was lately resusci-A
lated from what seemed death, but was
only catalepsy, was entertaining his
friends with the sights he beheld in the
other world. Plenty colored bredren
n Heaven, l spec, Tom" "Oh, yes!'
said Tom. And how about hell--any
lown there2' asked another interlocu-
.or. "Oh. yes massa, plenty of dem der
.oo." "Any white folks, Tom p Lord
ave us, der amt no end on EN-, but, by
gosh, massa. ebery white man done got
ljgger holdin' between him and de frer'
I'd like to be edytur
An in my sanctum stand,
The door a standin1 open
An big club in my hand;
Then let the cuss who didn't like
Some article I'd writ,
Come softly DER the threshold,
I'd reckon he'd get hit;
I'd hand him one right on the gourd,
Among his brains and things,
And send him humixin' up thar
To sport pair of wings.
Old Winston was o negro preacher in
Virginia and his ideas of theology and
human nature were often very original