The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-04-08
A SchOolmaSter Around Loose.

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A Schoolmaster Around Loose.
-Four or five days ago man about
forty years of age, looking as if he had
been drawn over dusty floor for an
hour or two, called upon one of the men,
bers of the Board of Education and in
troduced himself as William Cannon
Harrison, of Saginaw County. He was
politely received, and he commenced
business promptly by saying:
"I'm a-looking for situation as q
schoolteacher."
"Ah, hap replied the member, won
dering why the man wasn't looking for a
woodpile.
II could have brought a pile of rec
ommends so HIGH" continued the man,
measuring with his hands, but recon-
mends don't amount to nothing"
"And have you any school in view2"
asked the member.
"Iwant to get in here, in Detroit" re-
piled the man. "What wages do you
payi,'" ~, .t.;, ,oa.n ,,o ,,or,hor
when the schoolmaster interrupted:
"Oh! we'll, l s'pose you pay going
wages, and that's all can ask for. l
don't want to put on style and live high,
as I'm getting leetle old and ought to
save money"
LAS was going to remark" said
the member, when the schoolmaster sud
denly inquired:
"Do they allow licking in the schools
here? If they do, I'm the man you want
to dress the boys down! I've had 'em
come for me by the dozen, and it would
do your heart good to see the way I laid
'em! Why, when had that school in
Bay County thought nothing of licking
thirty scholars = day, besides hearing
twelve classes recite! I'm an old
screamer, tell you, and there's fun in
me when you get me woke up!"
81 hardly think" commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up and said:
"Of course you won't take me unless
l pass examination, but hain't afraid of
not passing. I'd like to see the word l
couldn't spell! For instance: 'Catarrh: :
C-a-t-a-r-r-h-catarrh. 'Dandelion:' Dan
d-e,l-i-o-n-dandelion; or try me on
words Of four syllables. Lugubrious:'
Observation-Disclosures. Oh! I
can knock the socks right off'n these
swell-head teachers and not half try!'
II should like to help you" put in the
member, "but-"
"Oh! you needn't think I'm behind on
geography" interrupted the teacher.
"For instance: What is an isthmus!
An isthmus is narrow strip of land
connecting two larger bodies. Is the
world round or fat! Round. Why is it
round? Because it is. Which Is the
largest river in the world! The ANA
ION. Which is the highest mountain?
The Andes. I might 60 on for severity.
five days this way and then not tell you
half know"
"You seem to be pretty well posted in
geography, but as wanted to tell"
"And on grammar, too" exclaimed the
teacher, jumping up again. What is .
nOunf A noun is the name of any per-
son, place or thing. Give us an example :
Man, dog, cat, coon, goat, jack-knife, fish.
hook, gate.post. What are the principal
conjunctions! And, as, both, because,
for, if, that, or, neither, either and SO
forth, and SO forth. Oh! I'm right on the
roof of the Westinghouse when you
sling grammar at mew
The member was getting desperate,
and as soon as he could get in word he
said:
II will take your name, and as soon
as vacancy ~---.r
"And know arithmetic from cover to
covert" exclaimed the man, standing up
again. II can 60 through the tables
like lightning through q haystack, and
when you get to fractions and cube-root
I'm awful weigh ton and half and
still growing! 'Rlthmetic's my favorite
study, and I'll give you fifty dollars to
find man who'll saw sums in two and
plane 'em down as quickly as cant"
His speech took the wind out of him,
and the member managed to say there
was no vacancy at present, but he would
take his name and consider his case as
soon as one occurred:
I'd like to commence right off" re-
piled the man, but I'm willing to wait.
Here's my name, and the mint I get
your letter I'll come down a-flying. If
you get me you don't get much style,
but you get solid old common sense and
genuine education. You won't see
scholars playing hide-and-coop around
the wood box or marbles ON the floor
no, you wontl"
And he went down stairs Detroit Free
Press. ..3s.ss2z
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