The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1875-02-13
All Sorts.

All S0TtS.
| A GALVESTON young lady has sued
man for attempting to kiss her against
her will, instead OF against her cheek.
A SCHOOL in Vermont is presided over
| by cross-eyed teacher. A few days
ago he called out: "That boy that [
am looking at will step out on the
floor" Immediately twenty-seven lads
walked out in front of the astonished
pedagogue.
WHY is the Tribune building the
highest structure in the world Because
it is higher than the Sun"
"WHERE woman" says Mrs Part
ington, ''has been married with con-
gealing heart, and one that beats dcs-
ponding to her own, she willnever want
to enter the maritime state again.
''THE Hibernian race is naturally a
gh-tempercd one," says an exchange.
And that's why they're called Ire-ish,
we suppose.
WHEN a poor man steals a loaf of
bread for his family, its plain theft; but
when rich man cribs anything, its
simply yclept-a mania.
Mr.. WYIIE, when III New York,
"played 1000 games of checkers since
landing in this country" This fact
alone would make a simple and touch
ing inscription for his tombstone.-NO
Republican.
WALTER" Gentlemen, will you be
kind enough to make less noise2 There
his gent in next box says e can't
read" One of the gentlemen" Can't
read, ell He ought to be ashamed of
himself Tell him to go to the school
board -
THE boss thief of Europe was the
ex-Prmce Demetrius Tschwtschawadze.
He was the foe of all proof-readers, and
the dread of all interviewers; but no.
body ever called him any harder name
than himself chicago Tribune.
For violent assault on his wife, by
which one of her eyes was severely IN
jured, a laborer named Hobbs was sen
fenced at the Middlesex Sessions, Lon
don, on the 29th ult., to five years
penal servitudc.
A SOFT answer turneth away wrath,
but we lose our patience with people
who are continually asking soft ques-
tiOns.
An armless painter may be seen daily,
busily engaged in copying some of the
old masters, in the South Kensington
Museum, in London. He is a Mr. M.
G. Feler, of Antwerp, and the facility
with which he manages his brush with
his right foot, while holding his palette
with the left, is said to be marvellous.
PRUDENT Mother" Don't look at
Professor Won Bangs SO, Dora, dear, or
people will think you are in love with
him" Dora (who is inconsolable for
the loss of her darling poodle"
can't help it, ma he is the exact image
of poor Mopsy!"
SEAsoNABLE RECToR-''Ah, we shall
| see you've got the temperature up
eyes, sir; / allus have a trouble to get
that thing up. / took and warmed it
jest this minute ?'-P1mch.
"YoUR handwriting is very bad, in
deed % said a gentleman to friend
more addicted to boating than to study;
''yOu really ought to learn to write bet
ter" Gay, ay," replied the young
man, cit is all very well for you to tell
me that, but if | were to write better
people would find out how I spell
Az Austin (Texas) paper advertise
to be ratified for " an Indian outfit, con
sisting of a bow and culver, and an In
dian scalp. There is also one white
feather on string, showing that
white man had been killed by the In
dian to whom it belonged"
AN old bachelor says: When I re
member all the girls ] met together, I
! feel like a rooster In the fall, exposed to
every weather / feel like one who
treads alone some barnyard all deserted,
whose oats are fed, whose hens are dead,
or ali to market started.
"HAvE you the new FASCINATED gold
sets" asked lady of one Of our lead
ing jewellers the other day. "No,
ma'am, was the reply, "we have Ro-
man sets, engraved sets, cameo sets.
coral sets, and faected sets. Perhaps
the latter is what you wish to see" And
/ it was.
The London Times points out that an
enterprise purpOrting to be of English
/ origin, called the Society General for
/ Insuring against Losses on the Turf, IS
being extensively advertised on tie
/ Continent. Use is made of the Bank
/ of Englands name without authorize
ton, and several persons of distinction
are set forth as directors.
/ THE Paris mint has commenced coin
ing sum Of 40, 600, 600 francs in twenty
/ franc pieces for the Bank Of France
The new coin will be employed to facll-
ltate the withdrawal from circulation OF
the notes of the same amount. The
circulation of twenty-franc notes, which
at one time reached go, 100000, has
already been reduced to 800, 1000, 600.
WHALING captains are, a Dundee
paper says, Unanimous IN condem-
ming the time fixed for the starting OF
the Arctic Expedition as too late by
far. The ships should leave by the be
ginning of May at the latest. otherwise
the eastern coast of Davis Straits Will
be closed by the ice, and the western
passage, which is dangerous and dlih