Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-12-01
A western editor runs it thus
His foot upon the trigger.
The muzzle in his ear.
A movement of fhc little toe.
And his head did disappear.

-
Horace Greeley's advice
to go west was glaring swindlc. +
The fact that the Indians have been
living west all their lives and are still +
poor, with scarcely clothes enough to i
cover their nudity, abundantly proves
this"
A man in the western part of the
State has invented and patented a
machine for picking up stones. This
will be a boon to the farmer. Now,
an attachment for throwing stones nj
boys in the apple trees, or for pitch-
ing them at frolicsome eats on the
woodshed roof. will he a boon to.
everybody.
"Wa'al, yes said the old man ms
he painfully leaned on his cane, Il
am kinder aging, and feel il more
and more every day. Only last year
| used to be able to walk around
Union Park every morning. and now
my rheumatic is SO bad that when
get half way round all can do j. to
turn round and hobble back.
s'Is this the doctors Office p inquir-
ed man who popped his head inside
the sanctum door. mo, sir--the next
flight Of stairs" 'sWell, am too tired
TO go any further" said he, sadly
shut if You see the doctor any time
this morning, wish you would tell
him that my step-mother is dying.
and we'd like to have him call in il
he gets time. ."--NorGich Bulletin.
The Portland Press tells ofa man
in that city who was desirous Of max
inga fortune by being refused ride
from Boston to Portland on ticket
sold from Portland to Boston. liz
went to Boston for that special pur.
pose, having previously consulted le.
, gal authority, but when he presented
his ticket having braced himself Il
make strong resistance, the eondae
tor punched il without word.
} The past summer narrow naug,
branch was built from Il poin. on TN
!. Des Moines 4 Keokuk road TO kco
, sauqua, in Van Buren, county. 1t j
now proposed to extend this line Il
: Fairfield, as the initial movement o
line direct to st. Louis. Meeting
+ are being held along the line. aud
proposition is made to- form con
: stl ucrfesr- evrupuus, ScrrIrr s,IUScrlr
tions. issue bonds and build the road
For interesting reading, commen
!, us to recipe book recently issue
I from Philadelphia. Its article o
!. butter making says, by way of pr,
I face: "A conscientious dairvma
! will see that his cows are mike
i clean. and that his miik-boys do ne
5 spit tobacco-juice i'm the milk pam
: and that lizards and snails do ns
Z crawl into the standing milk and 9,
y drowned,
The other day a Ficksburg fathc
! finding it necessary to reprove his sol
gently said: eDon't stuff victuals int
: Your mouth In that way. my son
! George Washington didn't cat in III;
q fashion, The boy accepted the I,
: proof without comment, and aft,
! pondering for awhile. he remarked |
II himself, "And don't believe Gcors
/ Washington licked his boy for fine
7 ing a bottle of whiskey in the woo
a shed when he was looking after
e horse shoe, eithcr."--i'ick'sbufg lie
h aid.
: A steam plow is at work in Monoi
Il county-thc property of Geo. Well
! The Gazette, SAYS of il: "At first
u broke the prairie with four Ii in,
! plows attached turning the soil over
i the usual depth and performing
: work with apparent ease and ia
!. speed. Next with five Ia inch plow
n it walked along with about the sam
: ease. turning over the five burrows
IS an average depth of 81 inches. al
&c this was accomplished with only six
d pounds of steam. so far as we sa
the machine work, we were high
pleased with it,"
:. A short time since some msstcrio
sr boxes were taken to the Brooklyn G
Of A,) navy yard. They remained the
III under close surveillance until Wedn,
IN day last, when two strange mcm ,
rived and took charge of them. T
boxes awakened the curiosity
No workmen in the yard. which was
- creased when the strangers open
r. them and disclosed to their gaze n,
crisp greenbacks 10 the amount
of fl0,0O0O0. The workmen were mt
We ast0nishcd, however, when the nj
took the grcenbacks to foundry Il
al burned them in furnace, II
were the production OF a celehral
ny counterfeiteE and were DESTROYED
order Of the Government,