Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1875-07-08
POLITE RUFFIANISM.


The candid believer in the influence
of good breeding and the power Of in.
berited manners falls sometimes on oc.
casions for amazement.
Perhaps the most astonishing iufrac.
tions Of the thing known as good man.
ners-infractions amounting to polite
rufiianism-take place in person own
house. Time was when hospitality had
n meaning-wlen to eat of mans salt
or to give Of your bread to tie broken
was TO bind both giver and receiver in
mutual ties strong and sacred. Now
the dinner that is given to the people
who in their turn give dinners is moth.
ing but display of pride on one side
or the payment of n debt on the other
The real comfort and enjoyment of the
guests count for little. Inharmonious
elements are bracketcd together, which
carry their own ennui with them. An
elderly woman and smart Young feel.
low just appointed to his cadetship; a
brilliant conversationalist and compan.
ION whose head is stuffed with wool
a scientist and thick-witted hen-w life
whose brain cannot rise above the con.
temptation Of the butchers book; a
learned professor, grave and solemn,
and butterfly whose whole idea of life
i fun and frolic; pretty girl and a
heavy father-these discordant couples
are sent down in their temporary chain
grrgs 10 snake the yressthey tcaa q the
task before them; but the host and hos
tess, who know perfectly well the lido
syncrasies of each. care nothing for the
discomfort to which they have doomed
both. Indeed, if they have dislike to
any one they have invited-which SEEM
ing anomaly is by no means rare-they
take extra care to give him or her as a
companion 10 the one who will be the
most uncorscnial of TIE assembly. II
is surprising to note the number Of So.
cial, subtle, but none the less ruffianly
affronts that well-bred people pcrmlt
themselves to offer to others Are YOU
talking happily? Your hostess sweeps
down on you and takes away your com.
panion as q prize too precious for you
TO retain. This is an affront common
from women to women, especially where
the one who is to be annoyed is of the
Kind with whom gentlemen like to talk
She is to be taught that she must no,
expect to monorolize the gentlemen
Those whom it is desired to snub arr
interrupted in their conversation and
made to feel that they have not been
asked to amuse themselves, but because
of social necessities with which person
ality has no concern. If this happens
as it most likely may, toa woman oi
middle age or to one of mediocre means
it naturally causes a great deal of in.
diguation or heartburning, which is ex-
actly what the lady offending desires
1t is meant 10 humiliate, and it carries
out its intention. We once knew a lady
vino was obliged for self-rcspect to Civ,
UP going to a certain house because OF
this. The hostess had the craze of not
allowing any pleasant person TO con,
verse with her So soon as she saw hel
talking to man or woman with brains
she swooped down and divided the
pair, giving as substitute the most
uniformed boy or girl in the room. Yet
the guest was woman WHO, for rca-
sons, had the right to EXPECT good COM
panionship, and the hostess was by po-
sition and education q lady. For all
that, she was not ashamed to make he,
guest understand that she was trans.
crossing the liberty allowed her if she
accepted the attentions of pleasant peo-
ple-of n woman Of mark or man Of
distinction; either of whom would he
hailed off TO some one else thought more
worthy of the honor, while she was
turned down to her lower place.
Another form of making YOU uncom.
Portable is by outrageous praise. You
are Hattered till you feel your gorg,
rise at the insolent contempt that is in.
yolved. You know that not one hun
dredth part is truly your deserving, ant
YOU know too that what you do deserv,
you do not receive; but to abash and ir
ritate you by over-praise on points nm
merited is as good n way of annoyins
You rs any other. and one that canno
be resented like fat contradiction may
or sarcastic ridieule, like depreciation
contempt ora favorite method-tell
ing YOU what has been said agains
YOU. This is q delightful way for tn,
polite rufhan TO air his spite and disfa
vor. To repeat all sorts of disparagins
remarks, with she invariable rider tha
he. your informant. does not believe {
word Of what he tells YOU; and that he up
held You manfully when you were beins
traduced, does two thingsat once make.
you understand shas You are rated. a.
you deserve, very naeauly, but that YOU