The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1875-10-23
WIT AND WISDOM.
AAIEs OF ADVERTISING

Madam, said gentleman ID his wife
let me tell you, facts are very stubborn
things. Quoth the lady what a fact
you must be '
fashionable lady went W party not
long since. She arrived there about the
first Of the evening, but the last Of her
dress did not arrive until al er IL o'clock.
"What does Good Friday mean n
asked one schOOlboy Of another. You
had better % home and read your Robin
son Crusoe, was the withering reply.
A little German girl is a public school of
this city was told to put the word year in
a sentence After moments reflection she
answered Last year my sister vas mar
ried this year she has baby
A fashionable dressed young woman.
putting fancy touches at the music at Char
ter Oak PARK, was heard singing. Back
ward, pm backward, Oh skirts in your
flight, make me look small again, lust for
tonight
A man in Michigan cut a large piece out
Of his leg the other day, under the lmDres-
sion that he had been bitten by a rattle-
snake, and then discovered that hg had
merely been stung by bee A meansr-
feeling man, on making the discovery. was
probably never raised Id that State.
An Indiana girl wanted to see II her
lover really loved her, and she got a boy
70 yell mad dog : as they we're walking
ont. The lover hew over the fence and
left her 70 be chewed up, ana she went
right away aud married a store clerk.
Roswell complained to johnson that the
noise " the company tile day before had
made his headache "No Sir. IL was not
the noise that made your headache it was
the sense We put into it, m Has sense
that effect upon the head l' Yes, sir. on
heads not used u IT,
The father Of a bride the other day saw
in the marriage announcement .'nO cards
after the usual particulars Dear, said
he to his daughter the first time they met
II had no idea that Thomas (the husband)
was 30 strict as not tO aIlOg a rubber Of
whist m The simple old soul smiled waen
he was undeceived
Marian, remarked one Of the horny
handed sons ot toll III his wife, pears u
me it takes a sight o' calico 70 make YOU a
dress these hard times Can't yer econ
omize with one Of them ar. pul-backs the
city gals wear VII IL Va then that Mariar
fired the bread board at him, and remarked
that she WASH going 10 stop the circua-
ton of blood In her legs for no baldheaded
uld penuy-plncher.
Why is it that modest man is always
getting IN trouble was looking at an un-
usually pretty face yesterday when the Ia
dy turned, do you want anything Of me
SIR Not that ! know Of, MADAM what
have Nu got She lied and asked,
Then why d0 you stare at me az mi Elm
deed, said |, you are 81 beautiful /
couldn't help it. She melted at once
Perhaps you are better man than took
you to bt.'
Western editor exclaims Boston
needn't attempt To sell any Of her shirt
bosoms, warranted not to rumpl in this
locality. Not much The sigh, the ex-
the sweet, tremulous accent,
the delicious fragrance Of her hair and
breath-all those may pass away in a mo-
ment, But the rumpled shirt bosom remains
ever with you as present reminder Of past
joys,
Papa, did you zee those nice little guns
down tu the store asked a little slA year
old boo. Yes, Harry, | saw them But
1 have 81 many children to feed and clothe
that | cannot afford to buy you one, replied
his father, seriously. Little Harry, glanced
at the baby IN the cradle with no loving ex-
preston on his face. Finally he said,
well, papa, I'll TEN you what you can Az
you can swap little Tommy for a gun.
A Scotchman rode his donkey full drive
AZ sheep drain, expecting he would Jump
over II before he knew III III WAS mis-
taken. The donkey stopped short and the
man went over IA jltf Sawney rose
calmy, and looking the beast full III the
face, saId "Nerra weel pitched. but
then hoo are ye gaun tae get over yersel.
Jones had prepared himself for home
dinner to his liking III Sat down in hIs
dining room at peace with an the world,
and said, "Now, Hannah bring the cold
mutton. Nd hpt meat for me this
weather. Hannah hesItated fur minute
and said, But I done give il away, sir. ."
Give Il away Give my dinner away 2"
Yes, sir Ypu saId ID any tramns called
! w4sUOgive them the c1ld sh1Hlier