, 1875-06-06

|
"0h, my dear wife, said John Henry. u ha
paid the milhner's bill.
| 4 mun-A thing that holds = young lady's
hand without squeezing it,
Why is rejected lover like = tree in til,
spring7 Because ha ia compelled to leave
"Haaven'e Own is the name Of = new Ne
! vada town where railroad passenger sau q
| woman plnDiug her husband to tho {ance with q
! p!tchfork.
The Car recently gaze Patti = new cloak
! which cost $500, and Mr. Caux has had to 70 to
| work and purchase garments throughout to
| match it.
! It requires ali = woman's se1f-possession to
calmly show her first baby, . hAir-llppsl Que, to
| her present husband.
! 4 Boston darnsel, who put on her rloyes to
! clean tnem with benzine, and then went too
close to the gaslght, found that she had tixst-
| casa conaagraIion On hand.
ksnd-hearted, peace-Eoving Baltimore m.a
! painted his front steps twenty three times trv-
ing to get color 10 suit his wife; and then sho
! decided that the frat color waa the best
An Ohio girl got up tho other morning to
oatne her lace IN the liquid dew. and cut of ono
OF her hnsers on an old scythe hldden in thu
graas- There's Always soma .d1Axback to 4en,4-
mens.
Said 9-yeAr-old Brooklyn girl 1t the supper
table the other evening: -Pa, Iheard you won-
derin9 this morning nhst tho Daecaar jury would
Ray:. don't cara what they sAy. NY mind il
made up.''
No matter how sad and weary woman nav
seel, she doesn't read much poetry about death
aud tue gra7e until her bonnet comes back from
the mllllners for the third Tina and atlu isn't
trimmed to Suit her.
A Cincinnati; woman tried to reach the bottom
OF the Stairs ahead OF Casa Of vinegar, and the
surgeon who fixed up her broken bones said that
she might try for thousand Jeata and 70. get
beaten every time.
Princess Galatzin. OF Russia, has invented
ne" bridal veil which fits on the shoulders aud
iooka i1kh mosquito. wings. Under the haiuclna-
tlon Of love, the bridegroom is supposed 70 think
the wearer moro angelic than ever.
On Monday evening his rife asked him vhero
he was going. a. she observed him putting OF
big overcoat. - am going to sally forth" he
replied; and she warmly reioiued, Lei ma
catch you going with any Sally FORTH
Said saucy Rochester beauty to toppish fel-
low who bored her with bis compliment. Your
presence and conversation Are vastly agreeable
and, what is remarkable. your attzac:iyeuass
doesn't seem to depend upon brains at al.
This Is the time OF year when mothe;a and
daughters endeavor to give the breaktast-:abls
Chat WsterlnS-p!ace t!nt, while the old geu.le-
nan eats hastily and departs promptly to his
business when hls second cup o. coffee is M
ished.
4 Tennessee preacher stood up the othec day
and said: ''Ny hearers. I now urge all on ye 70
dive down into your breeches-pockets aud haul
ont suthin' for she POOR" and the women OF hla
congregation Iookad night straight ahead without
saying word or u.axllg dive
4 woman rented house Of man On Croghsn
street the other day, stating that she had but
two chudreo. Soon after moving in, the land-
1lGcnVarai IA Ind 1xHa
he demanded 81 explanation, abe replied: .'Oh
veil who be particular over just five children r
He leaned on the fence pouring cut warm
gows Of love and admiration to the lovely being
% the other side. II Was dark. We could not
sec her face, but she said: PRAY desist- Yoa
ara too yacillatiug. Only week Ego you told
hat same story three doors ba4ou here" They
parted
4 red-halred lady, Who WAS ambitious Of lita~
ART distinction, found put poor sale for her
'ook~ A gentleman, in speaking Of her disxp-
said: *'Her hair is rsd, it her book
. not An auditor, IN attempting to 1elate the
oke elsewhere, said: 'Shs ha1 red hair, il her
ook hasa'k-~
4 French doctor, BY An examination of matri-
aoDil statistics. has discovered that out ct lo0
londe women 81 remain old maids by the way
1de; WHILE out OF 100 bruDettes, only IS stop
'ltnout = husband. little s-yeax old girl. to
hon he impaired this information, sykad him
make her brunette,
"Yea, you may come again next Sunday eren-
Is. Horace, dear; but"-sud she hestated
What is it, darling? Hays given you pain ?"
. asked ~ rbe still remained silent. lyon
ldnt moan to, I'm sure" she responded, but
ext tlne please don's wear ono Of those cnllars
ith ths points turning onward; tbaY scratch
l."
L loTar Of bis 1ace has bit Of Information
Il sentimental Young ladies'. He aays that .s
'on aa baby's tsething begins. lhe romance Of
ntiment for man who travels Around in his
ght-Bhirt OF i hot aummer's ave, with squa[
IL infant dangling over his shoulder. Is il
!en that she stops calling him Darling" and
,scends to such commonplace obsers&soua H.
John cantiEs, b careful how you hold that
IbyI"