The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1875-03-12
PENCIL AVID SCISSORS.

THERE is town in Idaho named
Sayne. Of course all the inhabitants are
in Sayne.
Why is Hymen represented with
torch TO throw a light upon those little
imperfections Love is blind to.
AN eminent sculptor recently received
q visit from noureau richie, who wished
to know what the charge would be for an
equestrian bust Of himselff
A SOLITARY dog was rescued while
floating down the East River on cake
of ice yesterday. A little more, and his
bark would be on the sea.
"A FIGHT between negro boy and
bear, after which dog will be set upon
the bear All this in Waco, Texas, for
the contemplate sum of fifty cents.
An aged lady of Fontainebleau left
her physician an enormous oak chest as
legacy. On opening it, he found all
the drugs and potions he had given her
during the past twenty years.
A SAVING husband-"George, dear,
don't you think it rather extravagant Of
you to cat butter with that delicious
lam ?" "No, love, economical! Same
piece of bread does for BOTH"
"TuERE is no rule without an excep-
ton, my son." 40, isn't there pa? A
man must always be present while he is
being shaved" "My dear, hadn't you
better send this child to bedg He's too
clever"
The astronomers are wasting their
mathematics in demonstrating to us that
we are not getting nearer to the sun.
We all know it. After the experience
of the last month we should be fools il
we didn't.
THEY have a prime way Of saving
funeral expenses among the Florida In
dians. When one dies his weeping
friends place him on the banks of the
bayou, and the alligator comes along and
buries him.
"Is there a gentleman in your club
with one eye named WalkerT said an
American to member of the Savage
Club, in London. 81 don't know" re-
sponded the Englishman; "what was the
name of the other eye9"
MCLEAN County Progress: One day
last week young girl, whose parents re-
side in this country, swallowed forty per-
cussion caps. She really deserved spank
ing, but her mother refrained for fear
of an explosion. Cautious mother,
that.
KING KALAKAUA is not only men,
Der of temperance organization, but
Mason of the Thirty-secoRd Degree Of
the Ancient Scottish Rite. While in
Washington he paid his respects TO Al
bert Pike, the first Mason Of America,
who resides in Alexandria.
"WHY," said country clergyman to one
of his flock do you always sleep in your
pew when am in the pulpit, while yeu
are all attention to every stranger i in
yiteg' because, sir" was the reply,
"when you preach, I'm sure alrs right |;
but can not trust a stranger without
keeping a good lookout"
WHEN the Duchess of Edingburgh
wants to talk nicey-nicey to her boy
baby, she has to say; "And was its
own muzzy's blessed little Albert Alex
ander Alfred Ernest William r'-and
then the ovcrburdened infant goes into
conyulsions that would twist the back
bone right out OF plebeian baby.
IT is old, but good: In early days, say
1886 or 1851, Lieut. Derby, United States
army, familiarly known as "Phenix,"
took passage for San Diego. Derby, adj
vancing to captain Bob Haley, asked the
price of passage, to which the answer
came "Sixty-fve dollars" Derby
Captain Haley, what is the freight on
lumberg" (Which was worth 800 per
/ 900 feet) Captain-"Fifty dollars pei
thousand" Derby (who was a sma
man an)-"Well, Captain Haley, as The
freight on lumber is less than passage
! 49,. e. \ nm, an hoard