The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1875-09-19

| " bulls lrG ilDlt Anl sits 0owr IN !,
bHli ~ Nickihg with II lang daNuiar
heodlt IN II, he viii tlnk OF more
things connected with darnlhg In n
minute than he can mention in two
hours.
Tue grass-widower has his revenge
when the lady of the house returns
ana remarks with nervous animation.
III will take three months of hard
work to get this distracted house In or.
agr again, Been having halfa dozen
picncs here, hey 81
a man who was sentenced To be-
hung was visited by his wife who
said MY uear would you like the
cillilreh 10 see you eXecutedpn "NO,n
replied he. "rhaps just like YOU"
SAID she; "you never wanted the chill
oreh to have any enjoyment
a young lady inquiries what will be
The prominent fashion in voting.
dresses when the country is blessed
WIN equal suffrage. She refers mostly,
undoubtedly, to the urgent necessity
OF vest-pockets on those occasion; but
perhaps pantalocns pockets will do
pretty WELL
a Jamaica man who has managed
10 get rid of two nervous wives, adyer.
Uses for another helpmate, and an.
hollnces the quality of female he re-
qulres "Wanted-A woman with
sense enough to stand still and not
hoWl when Il graSshopper is crawling
up her legs
Woman's revenge, If she dies for II.
AS the bride got out of the carriage she
caught her veil and tore it, and the
bridegroom was ill-natured about ii.
Then when the fuucti0nary said;
"Wlll YOU have this man?n etc, she
SAID NO. and that was the end of
that marriage.
a "charm doctor recently restored
the speech of Tennessee woman
who ha been dumb for seven wears.
and the last seen of him he was sit.
ting on u rail fence picking the buck
shot out of his head, while the infuri-
ated husband was huStling toward
home to reload his gun.
A Detroit man who wanted wife
right away" got one by advertising.
Two days after the wedding ceremony
he was observed to be walking right
away" from his home, and the neigh.
6ors who saw him say that his left ear
was set back two inches, and that he
had no hair to speak of on top of his
head.
Mrs. Milliss was asked the other day
how she managed toget along SO nicely
with MI. Miliss, and frankly replied
son, feed him well. When woman
marrles, her happiness for little
while depends upon the state of her
husbands heart; after that it's pretty
much according to the state of his
stomach"
Ayoung Frenchwoman in San Fran
cisco is Undergoing semi-occasi0nal |
arrests aud penalties for wearing BIZ
lurcated neither gArments--not in EN-
ulati0n Of Joan Of Are or Mrs. ID. !
Walker, but in order 10 pursue her |
business of Irog-catching in ponds and |
where, she remarks, petit
NNNNS ulN W thNlt NlNl lOuiIh waning.
He was smoking n cigar on Mar
ket street car, where there were ladies.
OF course he was gentleman t?) A
lady took out her purse, got ten cents,
and handed it to the smoker. "What's
this for ." said he It's to buy you
II good cigar when you smoke III the
presence of Indies" He threw the eli
gar out of the window, the scrip IN the
Iady's lap, jerked the strap, and jump.
ed out Louisville Courier-Journal.
A minister, newly settled in one of
he "waste places" was walking in the
village cemetery one day, when he
saw one Of his raiishioners standing
by "family lot" "Are these the
graves of your children ?" he asked.
Yes" said the man, looking about.
Here is Tom; there is Bill this is
Mary; that's the baby" and then,
pointing contentedly to II corner, gay
with flowers, There lays the old wo-
man, all blowed out !"