Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1875-04-03
A Calumny Rotracted.

The fashion reporter Of an Arsiia Cig
New. rapcr describes toe belle Of thc mas
ora-a,e ball in the following astonishing 'an-
goase
.Thc most stunning, gorgeous. hish.toned
f,stest-chssest. incest, or any oiheF adjective
f,- costume in the outfit" was that wora by
Miss Frankie Clarke She was ibe hlaluien-
est caye>.. and the gausCst dressed Gal 10 'ho
room. She appeared in the room as page
and Size was PAGE that any man would 'eaFe
another 10 read Both in costume and actloh
She was rs perfect as big suniower
A couple of days after the appearance o'
the notice. into the editorial room oil the pa
per stalked young man His brow was
wranpel in thunder, his body in suit Ct
tweed and his hand c!asped big lamp OF
hickory. lie pulled paper out Of bis pock-
o. and pointins with his finger to the para
graph, said: 81 waat to see the man as wrote
that ere" 81 am the individual" i" repli-d the
person. What did yer 90 and do 1t lor'
that's what want TO know ?'..a" Oh, because
I thought you'd ike to see your girl made out
one of the most bewitching females that was
ever set en- earth 10 keep man from bis. hash
and drive balmy sleep from his pillow. -
.. Now. look here. Ever since that was. pub
lished can get a word outn her. She sets
in front Of the lookin' glass and keeps gain
on herself and maxim squint eyes At her dress
and puekerin' up her mouth aud aktin' as II
she was blasted sight better'n anybody else
want this thins'fxel or tberell be an edl-
torss situation vacant" lie. looked signit-
cautly at the club.
For moment the reporter stood in, pro-
found thought; then his face brsbtenCd, and
he said "I1l fix /, in next weeks paper
After you have seen the next issue, call and
tell me the result The young man lelt. In
the next weeks paper appeared the following
notice:
/ 4 Correiioa.-W made grave mistake in
/ our issue Of last week In our description OF
the masquerade ball, we accidentally snbstltu-
ted the name Of Miss frankie Clarke for tha.
of Miss George Waller. Any one who is ac-
quainted with the FIRST named lady must have
discovered ,he error. Il IS true she appeared
for what was inteuded as page, but she
looked more like bootback in harl luck
She is not good looking, her actions were ab-
snrd and every man in the room kept as iag
from her as possible. She thinks OF moving
ont Of tbis commsnty. as il is unapprcclauve.
When she goes She will he escorted ont Of tho
town by brass band The people Of Austin
will gladly miss her from among them.
The next day The young man entered tho
Office. In bis hand be bore n rife, and his
belt was ornamentcd with big six.shooies
and a tremendous bowioknife. lie sailed up
10 the reporter. 81 look warlikc, don't I
| don't feel a bit like fshtin, you BET. You
inst oughler have seen her when she read that
correction. Why, she jes danced jig with
madpess, and she sol, down and cried. aud then
she come up and threw her arms around my
neck. aud said Arthur, do you love me
You bet your best bonnet on that, said l.
We'll never expect no TO speak 20 you again
if YOU don't % and kill the ieller what rit
that SANDER. 10 course I promised; and
here am to XIII yon. lie laughed long and
heartily. After time he quieled down, aud
tho reporter said: ! suppose, in order %
make il all right between you aud Jour girl
I've got to become a corpse III do Il. Si'
= there minute aud I'll fix tho business" Hc
sat down OF desk and scrbbled away ior a
; few miou,es and then returned with a sheet
of paper on which WAS written:
O5iiurry 1t creycs Us 10 be compelled %
announce the sudden death Of Mr Charlie.
, Keller, the young and talented fashion oIit1r
Ia moment Of mental alteration ho bad
slante.ed an estimablc, accomplished and
beautiful Young lady Of this city, named Mis-
Fannie Clarke Yesterday Der bciroihcd cali
el at this Office aud asked for The author oi
. the SANDER and when he discovered bin, ehoi
, bim dead on the spot. fh3 paper viii be
, unable to give fashion gossip hereafter. We
find it impossible 10 Gll the place lcit vacant
by Mr.. Keller. Though cratic, he was a man
Of kindly heart, and could listen more atien-
tyely TO stale stories aud drink more bad
whisky than any man in Austin.
That's your sort, said thcinfarialsd loyei
That's Tie thing toaT. Conc along, Mr
Corpse, and his, little lightning" Tho lady
was satisfied when the paragraph appeared in
the next issue Of tic paper hcr lover was
recorded as a hero, and The Austin paper ceas-
ed 10 give reports Of fashionable balls.