American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-07-17
MULTUM In PARVO.

l
| do better tomorrow; either begin to-da
4 or say nothing about it.
WHEN a man has business that doesn
, pay he usually begins TO look round for
partner to share his losses with him.
, GOOD summer board is always a desit
eratum, but good spring board can Away
be found at any first-class gymnasium.
A HUSBAND of Wyoming removed tn
i dandrutf from his wife's hair by removin
her head but his genius won't be admire
until he is well chokcd.
. BARNEY ANDREWS sat on a kcg of pow
der in a Missouri grocery store and smokes
a cigar for fun. The fun didn't commcnc
until the powder exploded.
PeRT EADs is TO be the name of nev
| settlement down at the New Orlcan
jetties. Hundreds of workmen are alread,
settled there, engaged in the jetty con
struction.
"WHAT is proper condimentfor one Sc,
of the bird is proper condiment for tn
othcr,'' is Connecticut legislators way
of saying g What is sauce for the goose i
sauce for the gandcr."
A New YORK paper has information
that there is not onc-half the demand
for soda water that there was two o.
three years ago. And yet, soda watel
seems to fill place which rain-watcr OF
dish-water can't touch.
The statistics of PENNSYLVANIA, Ohio
and Illinois prove the value to society OF
education. OF the persons who cannot
read and write, one in ten is paupcr
while of those who can read and write
only one in 800 is a pauper.
A CHICAGO man met Gen. Sheridan last
week and said: "Chcer up, Phil-the
wars over.'' "Ain't so sure of that
4 II 1 a.. IL IL
| long as a mans single he can keep out
of fight, but when he's married he's got
to take his chances
"GoLLY, can't that old woman run,
| though?' said an excited lad, as female
| form sped out of the archway and put
down the street after a boy who had
given her some "sass.' "Whew," he
half whistled, watching the chase with
eager eyes; al guess she's on whalin'
cruiser'-DetrOa Free Press
DURING a recent Detroit fire a young
lady rushed up and down Montcalm street
wildly shouting: "Save 'em-oh, save
| 'eml' "What is it? Who? Where ~
shouted man, as he seized her arm; is
anyone burning up?" "Not as I know
off, she walled, "but won't some one
dash in there and save my croquet set 30
No one dashed.
The reduction OF summer goods in New
| York this season is greater than the most
ancient and venerable shopper can rcmem-
Der it to have ever been before; partly be-
cause the market has been flooded with
fancy fabrics, which the merchants dare
not carry over, and partly because of the
general dullncss of trade and the necessity
of raising money.
THERE seems to be no excuse for idle
ness even in hard times, if we can only
bring ourselves to regard employment in
the light of remark recently made by an
easy going philosopher, who said: "Don't
fret. Do as do. When 1 haven't got
anything else on hand, 1 just keep busy
standing round waiting for good chance
to dodge lightning"
ONE of the most amusing things in the
world to people living on the Mississippi
is to read the accounts in the Eastern pa
pcrs of six and eight pound catfish as
large catches. When one of those Oriental
journalists has been here and seen one of
our 150-pound catfish pulled out with a
little boy, dozen or two popbOttles, and
a couple of old hoop-skirts in its stomach,
he never talks of eight-pound cat any
morc.-St. Louis Republican.
A DAY or two since a clerk In one of the
telegraph offices in town, being the last to
leave for his dinner, found the door locked
as is usual, but, as is not usual, discovered
that he had left his key in another coat
pocket two or three blocks away at his ho-
tel. The windows were two stories up,
and he did not exactly see the point of an
ner was growing cold and his temper cor
respondingly hot. He ratified the door,
tried to pick the lock with shingle-nail,
and repeated softly to himself choice ex-
tracts from proianc history, but there Inc
stayed and relief seemed appallingly re-
mote. He telegraphed 10 st. Thomas,
Can, had it repeated to Detroit, Mich,
whence it was returned, according to ac-
companying instructions, to the Atlantic &
Pacific office here on Main street, the re-
suit of which was to send boy up to his
room after his key and bring it to his of
flee to release him.-Btfalo Courier.
"ME catchcc one velly nice China
woman and mally now, like Mclean
man, were the first words uttered by a
well-dresscd young heather who entered
the police office this morning, leading by
the hand Il young Chinese woman, whose
face was half hid in a huge bandanna.
" Two bad Chinaman,' continued the
hcathen, he buy woman for $500. One
more Chinaman he want little China
woman and give $500. She no want
Chinaman. She want me, and me
catchce and run away. Chinaman catchee |
little woman, take her back to bad place. |
She mally me, me mally she. How you |
mally Mclean way? How muchee?" |
The fond pair were escorted to the County |
Clerks Office, a marriage license procured, |
and the twain made one flesh by Judge |
The Chinaman, however,
was afraid to take his bride away with him
for fear that her late owners would kidnap
her, and she was sent to the Chinese mis- |
sion to remain Il few days.-,San Francisco
Post
THERE is curious anccdotc of Henry
VII. The King had been out hunting in
he neighborhood of Windsor. His eager
ness in the pursuit of the chase had car
-etinue. Night was falling; return to the
castle that day was impossible, for close
1t hand lay the Abbey of Reading. Thith-
n accordingly the King turned his steps.
His habit was simple, and the good monks
ook him for one of the royal foresters,
while Henry, for reasons of his own, did
lot care 10 undeceive them. He was hos
)itably entertained, and the lord abbot
ooked on with an appropriate smile atthe
hearty performance of his guest. AT last
lie said: Truly, / would give His Grace
your master the half of my revenues for so
good an appetite" Three days passed;
he abbot was suddenly arrested in the
Kings name, and hurried to the Tower,
where diet of bread and water was as
igned him. The end of the story may be
imagined. Before a month was over the
lbbot had recovered an excellent appetite
or beef and beer.
IN many parts of the Southern States :
men have so far conquered their antipathy
,oward alligators as to tame them and