The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1875-06-10
ALL SoRZs.

nurse. rt
1t never troubles wolf how many the
sheep be.
If you wish to make drum stick, set
it on the head of tar barrel,
Censure is the tax man pays to the
public for being eminent. HG,
( Philadelphia was awfully shocked by
La JoNe Pdrftmeuse.
Boston has q woman newspaper carrier
who is eighty-seven years old.
Mr.. Boucicault is said to have netted
$4,000 during his four weeks perform
ance at Boston.
Mile. Villiers, of the Aimees Opera
Bouffe Troupe, died recently in Havana
of yellow fever. ISL
Don't tell an editor how to run news
paper. Let the poor fool find it out him
self.
Why are cashmere shaws like deafpeo-
ple2 Because they can't make them
here.
Malice sucks up the greater part of her
venom, and poisons herself
There is nothing so effective in bring
ing a man up to the scratch as healthy
and high-spirited flea.
The one thing needful for the perfect
enjoyment of love is confidence. Same
with hash and sausage.
We tell our triumphs to the crowd, but
orr own heartsa are the sole confidants OF
our sorrows.
An old Yorkshire man used to say
"I'm open to conviction; but I'd like to
see the man that can convince me-"
A San Francisco preacher says Solo
mon was poor, torlorn, morbid minded
creature. Well, didn't he have three
hundred wives?
The Chicago Times has an editorial on
The Gehgan Law" Celebrity is a fra
gile thing, even in these days of spelling
matches. 800,
They do not die in Philadelphia fast
enough for the undertakers to get liv-
ing, and one was recently sold out under
the hammer. Over 800 cofiins were
knocked down.
How is it that good looking girl can
meet her loverin a dark hall and almost
instantly discover whether he has had
his moustache shaved off or not?
A builder, when returning thanks to
those who drank his health, modestly
observed that he was more fitted for the
scaffold than public speaking"
n call that horse car courting," said a
Lockport girl the other evening to a bash
ful youth Whosa stiffly by her side, with
hisihand upon the small of her back.
The advertisement of Western stone
cutter reads: "Those who buy tomb
stones from us look with pride and salts
faction upon the graves of their friends"
At recent revival meeting held at Bax
Axe, Michigan young man concluded
teryent address by saying, II wish to
be friend to the friendless, a father to
the fatherless and awidow to the wild
owless.
Lucca was lately so unlucky as to vio-
late an ordinance of Vienna, forbidding
the recognition Of applause on the part
Of the public performers, and was COM
PEELED to pay $40 fine.
AT PATHS last appearance in St. Peters
burg the audience eheered her for fifteen
minutes by the clock without cessation,
and she had to call the tenor and bari
tone to help her to collect the "horal
tributes.pN ~. Ft\N , Il
"Dye see that tree?" says Sandy Nc
Fadden, of Nebraska, to every stranger.
"Well, / wonst thought it 'ud be cunnin'
to see the prairie on fire, and after I'd
run seven miles | clum up the tree
quicker'n wink, and staid thar two
hours combing the Cinders out ofmy hair
with my fingers"
A Covington lady started matrimonial
intelligence office, and married the tirst
man who applied for information. The
institution Immediately died, having fully
answered, doubtless, the purpose of its
creation.
An exchange considers it striking
phenomenon that it has "never heard in
funeral oration or sermon, and seldom in
private conversation, the opinion that a
man with $4,000 income had gone to
hell" ..,,,
Among the phenomena of human ma
ture it is to be observed that a man who
swears, gets drunk, beats his wife and
plays poker ON Sunday, is nevertheless
willing to lay down his life for freedom
to worship his Creator. y ....tN
1t is singular that some ladies, who
can't bear the smell of cigar smoke, will
regularly rub their heads with mixture
of white lead, whisky, lamp black they
composing a chair restorer," and think
nothing of it. r Nv 4
II hadn't chance like some boys
remarked man i'll street car yester-
day, as he squirted tobacco juice over the
straw; my father was too poor to give
me an education" "But if had been
he" replied lady as she gathered up
her skirts" "Td have given you manners
or broken my neck trying to-"
j"The most extensively dressed man l
ever saw" writes captain in the British
navy, twas an African chief on the Gold
Coast. His wife had anointed him thor
oughly with palm oil, and then powdered
him from head to foot with gold dust.
You never saw in your life man got up
80 utterly regardless of expense" II
At Pompeii they recently found a cd-
rious record. 1t was scratched on the
stucco of Kitchen wall, and has been
thus translated :a"Bighted the fire, cooKL
ed his meals, and swept his house 2S,00O
times to this day, and he refuses to take
me to the circus" Beneath this, in a