Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-02-19

"A 1lO0E nOo OSSA AiOUNSN UAAuu |
those of our citizens who put faith in the
doctrines of modern spiritualism are COM
mendably prompt in attendance at all
meetings and lectures at which their pecu
liar views are Taught and cXemplified.--
Accordingly. upon the announcement that
last Saturday night prof" Ellis would
expound the theory of materialized spirit
ualism and illustrate his subject by an cx
hibition of spirits in materialized form,
goodly number of the faithful and q
sprinkling of outsiders repaired to Leytze's
although the night was stormy
expecting to have the privilege of gazing
with awe and wonder upon the shadowy
forms of discmbodied spirits, possibly
those of near and dear departed friends,
brought by the potent agency of PROT
Ellis to revisit once more the scenes of their
sublunary joys and sorrows. The hour
came and with it the lecturer, tall,
dropping, weakened, long haired man,
with a rucful air greatly inconsistent with
the joke lie was about to play upon the
crowd. The only noticeable thing about
his costume was new pair of cOw-hide
boots, apparently not on compromising
terms with the corns and bunions they
covered, causing the Professor to peram-
bulate the platform as gingerly as il it
was strewed with eggs. He began, and
it soon became evident that his top story,
if not vacant, was painfully preoccupied
with the tribulations of the opposite ex-
tremity. He would let off common
place remark with remarkable air OF
deliberation and dignity, and then for
three to five minutes would pace the plat
form, bring down those immense boots,
heel and toe, ker-hap ker-flap, until an.
other idea was pumped up from his lin
ner consciousness" when the same per-
Torrance would ensue, When this had
been kept up for some time, it began to
dawn on the audience that they were sold
in more ways than one, that while they
expected to hear about disembodied spir-
its, and see them momemtarily resume
their temements of clay, the Professor
was in fact treating them to weary plati-
side attacks upon tea, coffee and tobacco.
This was too much for some wary old fell
lows, who by no ordinary strategy could
be inveigled to attend temperance lee
ture, and finally, in the midst of one Of
the Professors solemn "walks around"
one of the audience plucked up courage to
rise and call him to order, reminding him
that the people came to see manifesto
ton of "materialized spirits" The an
swer was prompt and to the point
Stretching the kinks out of his knees and
elevating his head foot and Il half nearer
the ceiling, the Professor said:
my friend, you want to see material
lied spirit, do you? Look at me! have
drank whisky for the last thirty years,
and if I amt materializcd spirit, where
will you find it," and then looking
his interlocutor full in the eye, he sent in
the following center shot: II believe that
a materalized spirit is a man who has
whisky in him, and l think there's some
in you" This, of course, sent the ven
turesome assailant to grass, and the Pro
fessor resumed his round of the stage,
bringing the cow-hides down every step
with a conscious air of triumph. But the
audience were not sympathetic, and soon
began to drop out, one by one, and as the
last nearer left the hall, the Professor was
seen, solitary and alone, with his head be-
tween his shoulders and the old crook in
his knees, measuring off the stage with
regular strides, the ker-fap of the cow
hides waking hollow echoes in the desert
ed room, Leytzc in the meantime keeping
watch and ward at the door to interce pit
the "materialized spirit for the purpose
of extracting from him the extra half dol
lar over the receipts, necessary to pay
the hall rent.