Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-09-09
WINONA


WINONA
is built on the cellar kitchen floor Of
Minnesota, She is a beautiful city,
and We were told that up stairs there
were grand acres of prairie such as the
grasshoppers love to play croquet up
on with wheat kernals for balls. The
old Mississippi sweeps majestically by
the little jewel of city, coaxing the
little Minnesotians to ''come float with
the tide" and wash off the superhu-
Gus dandruff. IF we were not resi-.
dent of Grand Rapids we'd buy d
cemetery lot in Winona. AS we had
pushed through to Winona, Jack said:
'1et's go to the Hippopotamus," and
we became the respondent in the &C
ton though our trip was a0hoJly a 6nsi-
ness one. Our nephew, Arthur, the
boss devil of the Tribune had come
with us. We advised him to look
close for his dad and uncle while in
Winona or he might be recorded
among the lost Arts, an injunction he
needed with commendable carelessness.
Of course we stumbled upon several
acquaintance. Let's see there was
George Hiles, and Lara Ward, and
Doc. Garfield. all of whom had bust
ness at Winona. We are inclir ed to
think Barnum had business at Winona,
too, that day. We put on our paper
collar at the Blair House and wasted
enough energy to build saw mill en-
deavoring to smell our way to the pan
try. At least 10000 people were try
ing to do the same thing. The cad
ual appendage Of that hungry process
sion stuck out over the bluff at least
forty rods, so we HE'D ourselves to a
restaurant where we found excellent
viands, but the landlady was crazy we
thought. She had fed over ten thous-
and who had business in Winona that
day, and she was thinking of resign
ing her commissariat, and reposing her
perspiring form under the welcome
waves of the Father of Waters.
When we last saw her she was taking
in another fifty cents for provender,
twittering as joyously as bobolink in
field Of butter cups. At 2 2. NJ. the
''band" struck up tune and we went
to the circus. It being great mora
circus we felt constrained to ''r5ng in
We were ready to certify that it was &
great moral show when we reached the
''straight and narrow way that led
into the vast ampitheatre, for we heard
several bible names pronounced very
emphatically and Of course we thought
if those who hang upon the ragged
edge are SO we'll versed in scripture
how sublime must be the moral status
Of those who were the elite of the
"Hippo-'
We took, with Jack, a seat among
he "upper ten" and then we surveyed
the sea of faces, and such sea there
were a0hite caps in profasion, and how
many werepinned baek-from going tc
that show no one will ever know-not
one we should judge in the Vale OF
Trempeleau; that's so. When all
Minnesota and half of Wisconsin had
squeezed in the show began: A very
pleasant moral looking gentleman rode
into the ring, "a ring that looked like
our mothers old platter that always
had chicken on it when she had com.
pany-all long and no wide. He made
a very moral bow and took seat I'm.
der factory bell suspended il port
able belfry. We thought this bel
must be to call the riders to prayers,
but Jack said it was to toll for dead
heads. The big canvass Jack said
would be just the thing to cover Gran.
berry marsh on frosty night, but we
scorned the idea of sacrificing morality
to the saving of few berries. The
first infection was the CONGRESS
OF Nations. A freckled lily
of the Trempeleau Valley wanted tc
know if that man seated On a dry
goods box covered with IN bleached
drilling was Matt Carpenter. We re-
minded her that this was a great NOR.
al show, and that she was looking I'D
on the Pope Of Rome. She seemed
pleased, end said she wouldn't have
missed seeing the Pope for all it cos
her to get in. Next came a ladies
parlor on wheels with three real nice