davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01
Queer Wills.

lhere IS nothing moro singular in the
history of testamentary dispositions than
the fashion in which the owners of property
have seized the occasion to shave il ont,
with their relatives. There is n fiendish
ingenuity of cruelty in the conduct of a
man Who leaves n certain legacy in his will
10 lire the imagination of such and such a
relative, and then rcvokcs the beouest by n
codicil, giving the reasons for his so doing.
Attached to other bequests well known in
tho lore of anecdote, phrases have boop
used which must have considerably lcsscned
the satisfaction Of the legatee. An English.
man onco left the sum of IS. "to Mary
Davis, daughter of Peter Delaport, which is
sufficient to enable her to get drunk for tho
last time at my expense" A member of n
great industrial family, which has been re.
nowned for generations for its eccentricitics.
remarked in his will, "To my only son,
who never would follow my advice, and has
treated me fudely in very many instances
instead Of making him my executor and
residuary legatee las till this day he wasl,
] give him Gl00,000;" but then no ordinary
person would stop to consider the terms of
bequest which handed him over 100000.
II is on record that another gentleman once
directed his executors to purchase a copy
OF the picture representing viper biting
the hand Of the man who had saved it, and
to give that to a certain friend of his, in liue
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

ofa legacy of $4,000 which he had left him
by former will now revoked and burned
Il give and devise to my son, Daniel
Church," said certain Mr.. S. Church, in
his will, "only one shilling, and that is for
nm to hire porter to carry away the next
badge and frame he steals" DYING Deonle
have often had thus grin at their friends
expense. a certain judge once decreed bv
his Will that his wife should cut off one of
his toes or fingers to make sure he was dead
adding that he made the request so that
as she had been troubled with one old
1901, she will not think of MARRYING n
second; )" though why her cutting off toe
from her deceased lord should have nre.
vented her choosing a successor to him
docs not clearly appear. A Mr.. Swain, we
are told, gave to John Abbot and Mary.
his VILE, 6d. each, to buy for each of them
natter, for fear the sheriffs should not be
provided" A Mr.. barley left to his wife n
shilling, "for picking my pocket of sixty
gulneas." bookseller is said to have left
the handsome legacy Of ESQ to "Elizabetb
Parker, whom, through my foolish fond
ness, made my wife, without regard to
family, fame, or fortune; and who, in re.
turn, has not spared most mjustly to accuse
me of every crime regarding human nature.
save highway robbery" Not the least
curious feature, too, in Wills and bequcsts is
the extraordinary importance which women
more especially put upon articles of house
hold iurnturc and decoration that have
become end"ared to them through con.
7t@nt care and pride. Many friend has
thought that a joke must have been in the
mnd Of this or that old lady who, with
great ciroWnstantiality, directed in her will
that he should have particular set Of
'ugar-tongs and his wife a knitted fire.
screen; whereas the old lady considered
mat these articles were Of the utmost value
md Importance.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01
Soalding Milk Vessels.

To scald milk-pans and milk.noils bos
ever been and still is the practice Of all
makers of good butter. Why is this?
Neither science or philosophy has led the
way to its adoption, but experience, the
best of teachers, has pointed the way. and
science and philosophy but confirm its
teachings. We have heard much of the
efficacy of lime-watcr in cleansing md
purifying milk vessels, but we are satisfied
that nothing will have the desired effect So
well as scalding them in hot water, and
why? Simply because nothing else will so
completely destroy the little spores of fer
mentation which propagate so rapidly in
the least uncleanliness-so little that if
cannot be discovered by the naked cvo-
and herein it is that science and philosophy
but follow and cOrroborate the fact. You
cannot completely cleanse a vessel unless
hot water is used, and the water must not
only be hot enough to bite the hand. but
absolutely spanking hot, up to the highest
point.
When the vessel is first cleansed and
then scalded it should be set away to dry.
not to be touched again until wanted for
use. Milk, like charcoal or plaster, is n
powerful absorbent, and what it absorbs it
holds until its rankness is increased bv
chemical atmospheric changes. In winter
this is not the case to so great an extent,
although even then there should be no
deviation from the practice. But in sum
mer it is indispensably necessary. How
important, then, it is to see that the person
handling tho milk is trustworthy. This is
not only necessary, but it is a necessity
upon which hang all the law and the
prophets on the subject of nice butter.
making.
But this is not all. Tho dirt being
removed, the air must also be pure. II
must contain no bad odor of decnvino
vegetables, the dunghill or pigpen, or the
urlnal streams from the stable. For these
Will most assuredly affect tho milk and
render it unfit for the manufacture of nice
butter.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01
Getting Rid Of her Daughters Beau.

she lives down on Baker Street, and she
has daughter about eighteen wears old
lhe Old lady retains all her simplicity and
innocence, and she doesn't go two cents on
style. The other evening when a splendid
eaten called to escort the daughter to the
opera the mother wouldn't take the hint
to keep still. While helping her daughter
to get ready She asked:
Mary, are you going to wear the shoes
with one heel of, Or the pair with holes in
em?'
Mary didn't seem to hear, and the mother
| inquired:
Are you going to wear that dollar gold
cham and that washed locket, or will YOU
wear the diamond father bought at the
! hardware store?"
Mary winked at her, and the Young man
oluShed, but the old lady went on:
" Are you going to borrow Mrs. Browns
shawl, or will you wear mine ?"
Mary brushed around the room and the
mother said:
" Be careful of your dress, Mary; YOU
NM" ~ 'Iie Only one you We got and you
cant have another until the mortgage ON
this place is lifted"
Mary remarked to her escort that it
promised to be beautiful evening, and as
she buttoncd her gloves her mother asked:
"Those are Mrs. Harvcys gloves, amt
they? She's been a good neghbor to us,
and ! don't know how you'd manage to 20
anywhere if She didn't live near US"
Mary was hurrying to get out the room,
when the mother raised her voice once
more and asked:
did you run in to Mrs. Jewett's and
borrow her bracelet and fan? Yes, | see
you did. Well, now, you look real stylish,
and hope you'll have good time"
Mary sits by. her window in the pale
moonlight and sighs for the splendid young
man to come and beau her. around some
more, but he hasn't been seen up that way
since that night. The old lady, too, saws
that he seemed like nice young man and
she hopes he hasn't been killed by the
street cars.-D5troH Free Press.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

Andrew johnson left three living chill.
dren, Mrs Patterson, Mrs. w. R. Brown
and his youngest son Frank, who signs
himself Andrew johnson, Jr Oftwo other
sons Charles died during the war, and
Robert in 1869. In very large room over
Browns store, in Greenville, Tenn, which
he used to style his office, he left one of
the largest private collections of what
might be termed war history in the United
States. lie saved all of his letters and dis
patches, and copies of such as he sent, and
the collection can only be measured bv tho
cart load. With the rest he has complete
files of leading newspapers, and, in fact. am
immense mass of matter bearing upon tho
war and his presidential term.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01
Pleasing a Husband.

one day, as Zachariah Hodgson was
gong to his daily avocations after break,
last, he bought fine, large Goldfish and
sent 1t home with directions to his wife tc
nave 1t cooked for dinner. AS no particu.
lar kind Of cooking was precribcd. the GOOD
woman well knew that, whether she boiled
II or made itup into chowder, her husband
would Scold her when he came home. But
she resolved to please him for once. If
possible, and therefore cooked portions Of
IL IN several different styles, and with some
oliilculty procured an amphibious animal
from brook and plunged it unto the not,
In due time the husband came homo
Some covered dishes were placed ON the
taole and with frowning, fault-inding
look, the moody man commenced the con.
versation:
"Well, wife, did you get the fish l
bought?"
" Yes, husband"
81 SHOULD like to know how you cooked
1t, I'll bet anything you spoiled it for nv
eating (Takes off the cover) al
thought so. What in creation Possessed
you to fry it? | would as lief eat boiled
frog"
"Why, husband, l thought you liked it
best fried"
" ou didn't thinl, any such thing; YOU
knew better. Incvcr like fried fish. Wby
dldn You boilit? How stupid"
Why, Zachariah, the last time we had
fresh fish, you know | boiled it and you
SAID you liked it best fried. But | have
some boiled also" SO saying She lifted
the cover and 10! the shoulders of a boiled
cod were deposited in a dish-a sight Of
which would make an epicuro rejoice. but
which only added to the ill nature of her
husband"
"a pretty dish, this" exclaimed he.
boiled fish! chips and pomidge! If Won
hadn't been one of the most stup;d Of
womankind, you would have made it into
HIS patient wife, with smile, immcdi. |
ately placed turecn before him, containing
an excellent chowder. " Ny dear" said |
She " was resolved to please you. There |
IS your favoritc dish"
Favoritc dish, indeed! dare say i
Is very palatable, wishy washy mess:
would rather have boiled frog than tho
whole lot of it,"
Tins was common expression of his and |
had been anticipated by his wife. who rs
soon as the preference was expressed.
uncovered large dish near her husband,
ana there was bull-frog Of prctentious and
pugnarious aspect stretched out at full
length Zachariah sprang from his chair.
not a little frightened at the unexpected
My DEAR" said his wife, in kind,
tone, " | hope you will at length
be able to make dinner"
Zachariah could not stand this. His
surely mood was finally overcome and he
burst into hearty laugh. lie acknowledged
that his wife was right and he was wrong.
md declared that She should rover again
have occasion to read him such lesson.
md he was as good as his word.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

THE BEST IN THE WORLD 1t is claimed
by the Delaware millers that the wheat
raised in Delaware and on the Eastern
Shore of Maryland is tho best in the world
They call it better than California, or even
Oregon, which is regarded as slightly
superior 20 California. Tho Delaware pro.
duct is nearly all the amber" quality OF
rcd wheat, the nature Of the soil and
climate appearing peculiarly favorable to
the growth of light colorcd grain, which
makes the white and highest-priced flour.
This year tho crop on the peninsula, for
some reason, is slightly variable in color.
Some fields are turning out unusally dark
grain, not up to the high average of color
that is usually expected, and not to be
classed as AMBER" being WORTH from five
to ten cents bushel less. We are not in.
formed that there is largo percentage of
this; the crop, on the whole, is very fine
as to plumpness, size and color, and in
quantity is much better yield than had
been anticipated.-Ne,o York Bulletin.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01
POet1'Y.
HOME QUESTIONS.

Who knows where pins and needles 60.
Where all the buttons stray?
Who knows where all the pennies go,
That somehow get away?
Who knows how all the china breaks
That wasn't touched at all?
How baby gets so black bruisc,
Yet never gets fall:
Who knows whence all the fashions come,
And where they disappear?
Why one brief month should make fright
OF what was such a dear?"
Who knows how little bills can swell
To such prOdigious size?
Who knows, indeed, what's going on
Beneath his very eyes?
Who knows just where her husband goes
When " business" keeps him out?
VINO knows when best to wear smile.
And when TO wear pOut?
VINO knows the time TO face the fact
That she's no longer youAgo
Who knows how best to speak her mind
And how 10 hold her tongue?
Who knows the most convenient day
To bring friend To dine"
Who knows the half of wha; he spends
ON clubs, cigars and wine:
VINO knows one bonnet cannot last
woman half her life?
Who knows the woman is the same
When sweetheart turns to wife?
Who knows why all the pretty girls
iie often last to go?
How all the ugly wuuen we'd
Who never have Il beau"
Why small iHvn fancy wives So laryc.
And large men fancy small:
Who knows. in i.!ct, how half the world
Was ever matrhed a; all?
Who knows how Glr to trust a friend.
How far To hate foe.
Just when To speak a kindly Yes.
And when a sturdy No"
Who knows-thc grim old Greclan sa.c
Says graveiy, from my shelf
The wisest man in all the world
Is he who knows himself.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01
The First Peaches for England.

Last thursday morning the steamship
O"'o sailed from Philadelphia for LivcrnooI
una took out tho first consignment OF
peaches ever shippsd to European port
The result Of this experiment is looked
forward to with great interest by a large
number OF fruit growers, as upon its success
Is based the hope that profitable market
may be found for this perishable fruit in
times OF great abundance.
A visit was made to the Ohio Yesterday.
ana the arrangements for storing and
keeping the peaches were inspected, Tho
refrigerator or room in which the fruit is
stored Is situated in the bow Of the vessel
IN what is called the stecragc.
The apartment is constructed Of
matched pine lumber, with Il dead air
chamber surrounding it on all sides and is
made as nearly air-tght as possible. The
reingerating process is that of the Bate
keirlgerating Company, the principle beino
70 keep up a circulation of dry, cold air
through the fruit This is accomplished
III the following manner: A large ralv,n.
lzed iron tank, capable of holding fitcor
tons OF ice, is placed in the centre Of tbc
room, 1t has no bottom. and is raised oIo,,
SIN inches from the floor and rises 70 tbo
celilng; 1t Is securely braccd and STAYED, 70
prevent shifting. Drainage is provided
through lead pipes. Wooden cratiros are
placed on the bottom. and the tank filed
with ice, 4 small engine, Of five horse
power, placed near the refrigerator bctwoar
decks, runs blower which forces coln,nr
OF air through pipe one foot in diameter
immediately upon the top of the ice. and
thence through the ice and out at tbo
bottom OF the tank, where il circuIotee
through the crates of peaches, and escanes
through numerous outlets. all LEADING to
return pipe, which takes the air 10 tbo
blower again.
The engine yesterday was set in motion
when the tank had been partially filled
with ice, and within five minutes the thor. |
mometer sunk to jdcgrecs. Itis believed |
that fifteen ton, Of ice will be more than |
sufficient for the voyage.
1t was arranged to put the fruit on board |
last night, and this portion Of the cargo |
Of 24j0 crates of the finest varie. |
ties, the principal one being Reeves
Fayorlte, which is very beautiful peach : |
II has not yet appeared in our markets. and |
was picked when quite firm; the remainder
consisted largely of Oldmixons and Craw,
lords Early. The fruit was picked ycster.
tay afternoon and shipped in the evening.
beng contained in seven cars as follows:
From Middletown, three cars. Arm.
'trongs, Nj. Pleasant Townsend and Dover,
)ne car each.
Richard Lockwood, Esq, goes out as the
'gent of the growers to attend to the fruit
IN ITS voyage, and will act as the commits
ion man for the shippers
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

SULPHUR FOR F0wLs.-Therc is no remedy
and assistant so easily and cheaplv obtained
so harmless to the fowls or so satisfactory
IN Its result, as sulphur. 1t being in the
system Of animals to a small degree. there
Is greater affinity for it than there other.
wise would be. 1t can be administered to
the fowls by having it in small box, so that
they can help themselves. or by mixing it
with their feed once week. or - often as
there indications ofvcrmin. Penetrating.
asst does, to every part of the system, the par
aSitcs are quickly and surely DESTROYED.
Also gapes are said to be prevented in
chickens. Fowls need it more than most
animals, their feathers containing between
four and five per cent, of sulphur. Their
eggs also have small quantity, which is
noticed by the discoloring of a silver spoon
when it comes in contact with a boiled
egg. Applied externally to the fowl when
on the nest, to the nest itself, or mixed
with the soil i'll the busting box, it is
equally ctficacious in destroying vermin.
To be used as fumigator Of buildings, it
is necessary to remove the fowls, close the
room or house, mix little saltpetre with
the sulphur, in an iron vessel, apply a
match to the mixture. This should be
done in the morning, and the doors and
windows opened in the afternoon for q
thorough ventilation. Lard mixed with
sulphur in proper proportions and applied
as often as is necessary to the feathers of
the neck and back of young and old
turkeys, is very good safeguard against
the ravages of foxes.-Poult,y World.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

Governor Groome, of Maryland, who was
candidate for Governor before the late
Democratic Convention, and very reluc.
family Withdrew in favor of John Lee Car
roll, will soon be made President Of the
Chesapeake & Ohio Canal, at a salary of
$4,000 per year. Furthermore, he has a
promise of a seat in the United States Sem
ate four years from now. The republicans
charge that the Chesapeake & Ohio Canal
Ring controlled the Convention, and that
Gov. Groome had his price.-N. y. Herald
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

DANCE WITHOUT SMILE.-Thev have a
singular kind Of dance conducted on the
greens of country villages in Russia. The
dancers stand apart, a knot of young men
here, knot of naidens there. each soy bv
itself, and silent as a crowd of mutes.
piper breaks into a tune, a youth pulls off
his cap and challenges the girl with awaye
and a bow. If the girls willing. She waves
her handkerchief in token Of assent. the
youth advances, takes corner of the hand
kerchief in his hand, and leads his lassie
round and round. Stiff with cords and
rich with braids, the girl moves heavily bv
herself, going round and round and never
allowing her partner to touch her hand
The pipe goes droning on for hours in the
same sad key and the prize of merit in
this "circling," as the dance is called. ia
given by the spectators to the lassie who.
in all the summer revelry, has never spoken
and never smiled!
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

Mr. Andrew Johnson, son of the late ex.
President johnson, denies all KNOWLEDGE
of the reported insurance on his father.
life, though he says he has not vet been
able to look over all his fathers papers.
The estate OF the ex-President is estimated
at between $l5O,OOO and $l75.OOo
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

Several passengers on the lower Missis-
sippi were attracted by the alliratorz
basklng in the sunshine. care thew
amphibious, captain ?" asked locker ON.
Amphibious thunderl" answered the
enthusiastic officer, they will eat hog a
minute"
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

II you want to live long and enjoy life.
work little, then rest a little. But If vo,
have large farm you must labor all the
time. Here again, small farms are the best
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01
Arctic Cold,

IL IS unwholesome to use snow to quench
The thirst, says the London Medical P,coyJ
as 1t brings an inflammation of the Throat
palate and tongue. Besides, enourb can
never be taken to qucnch the thirst. os =
temperature of 3O' to 40' below zero makes
IL taste like molten metal. Snow.caters in
the North are considered as feeble and
eilcmlnatc, in the same way as an opium.
eater IN the East. The groups of travellers
VINO traversed the snow-fclds were sur.
rounded by thick vapors formed bv the
cmanations from their bodies, which bc.
came condensed, Notwithstanding the f,rs
III which the travellers were onvoIonod
Ihcs" vapors fell to the ground with a
sl!ght noise, frozen into the form of small
crystals, and rendered the atmospbera
thlci, impcnctrable and dark. Notwitb.
standing the humidity of the air. n dis.
agreeable sensation of dryncss was felt
Every sound diflused itself to Il very LONG
distance. An ordinary conversation cou1d
be heard at hundred PAGES Off while tbe
report OF guns from the top of high noun,
Ialns could scarcely bo heard. NJ. PAYER
explains this phenomenon by the large
quantity Of moisture in the arctic atmos.
pherc. Meat could be chopped. and NOR.
curry used in the shape of balls. Both
smell and taste become greatly enfccbled
III these latitueIcs; strength gives way un.
Ger the paralyzing influence of the cold
the eyes involuntarily close and become
frozen When locomoton stops, the sole
OF the foot becomes nsensiblc. 1t is some.
what curious that the beard does not freeze.
but this Is explained from the air expired
being Immediately transformed into snow.
The cold causes dark boards to become
lighter; the secretion Of the eyes and nose
always increases, whilo the formation of
perSpiration altogether ceases. The only
possible protection against the cold is TO he
very warmly clothed, and to cndeavor rs
much as possible to prevent the condensa-
ton OF the atmosphere, while the much.
vauntcd plans of amounting and blacken.
ing the body are pronounced to have no
real value
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

HAPPY ARITHMETIc.-Sidney Smith cut
the following from newspaper and pre
served it for himself; When YOU rise in
the morning form the resolution to make
the day happy one to fellow creature.
It IS easily done; left-off garment to the
man who needs it; kind word to the
sorrowtul; an encouraging expression to
the striving-trillcs in themselves as light
as air-will do at least for the twentv-four
hours. lfyou are young depend upon it it
Will tell for you when you are old: and if
you are old, rest assured it will send Won
gently and happy down the stream of time
to eternity BY the most simple arithme-
teal sum look at the result. If YOU send
one person away happily through the dav.
that is three hundred and sxty-five in the
course OF year And suppose you live
forty years only after you commence that
course Of medicine, you have made I49OO
persons happy-at all events for time.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

1HE ORIGIN OF THE ESEXEs-Aristophan
the funny man of classic Greece, gives the
following myth: "Oncc upon a time man
had three sexes and q double nature :
besides this, he was perfectly round and
had four hands and four feet, one head
with two faces looking opposite ways, set
on single neck. When these creatures
pleased, they could walk as men do now.
but II they wanted to go faster, they would
roll over and over with all their four legs
IN the air, like u tumble turning summer.
saults; and their pride and strength were
such that they made war upon the gods.
Jupiter resented their insolence but hardly
liked to kill them with thunderbolts as the
gods would then lose their sacrifices At
last lie hit upon plan. 81 will cut them
i'll two" lie said, $50 that they shall walk
upon two legs instead of four They will
then be only half as insolcnt, but twice as
numerous and We shall ret twice az many
sacrifices" This was done, and the two
haivcs are continually going about looking
Tor one another; and il we mortals (savs
Arlstophanes, with comic air appIehen.
sion) are not obedient to the god, there is n
danger that we shall be split up again, and
shall have to go about in basso-relevo, like
those figures with only half nose which
you may see sculptured on our columns :"
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

A New Orleans woman's insanity induces
her to shout Stop theft" whenever she
secs anybody running in the street, and
several staid old men, upon starting briskly
for horse car, have been chased and cap.
tured in consequence of her outcries.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

How to become pulled up-swallow a
pint of yeast.
Smyrna times., 1875-09-01

A proposition is made in Virginia and
received with some favor, to change the
name of the conservative party from
Democrat to "Whig." A convention
to this end is talked of, to come off at an
carly day.