Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1875-12-16
THE PINANOIER.
Some Reserls., and How they Were Deceived.

been turning financial problems over
and over in his mind for fifty years
but yet, You can't always correctly
Judge man by his looks.
He walked up and down the depot
platform for time, and then sudden.
ly rushing at an old man who was
leaning against the wall and hat
asleep and exclaimed:
"What about initiation ?"
"What ha! ha thought you
were going to strike me - replied tn
old man as he Strengthened up.
"Shall we initiate the currency?
demanded the financier in earnes
tones.
"You may for all l care p blunt,
replied the old man 'all want is to
get my baggage aboard the Montreal
train all right"
"Or shall we contract the curren.
cy?" asked the financier, backing up
to the stove.
81 don't care damn what you do
with it, SO | strike the trainn' growl-
ed the old man, as he leaned back
against the wall.
"The quertion of finance 81 one of
the greatest in the world, and de-
mand that you exhibit an interest in
it," demanded the fnancier.
'I'll be switched if / viii - growl-
ed the old man, his eyes half shut.
"rhis bit of green paper, oontinu
ed the fnancier, taking dollar bill
from his vest pocket, ''is supposed to
represent 100 cents. Answer me ii
it does %
ooh, femme alone,'' growled the
old man, his head noddiug and his
eyes shut.
eff owe you one dollar | can pay
you off with this bit of paper: but
would | be paying you 80, 80 or 100
cents? p
"You-d-o-n-'t-o w-e-me-a n.y.
thing = sighed the old man, now al
most dreaming.
"Gold is money and greenbacks are
money" continued the stranger, but
if you have gold you would not ex-
change it for my greenbacks. And
why not?"
The old man was now asleep and
didn't hear.
"And why not?" asked the inan'
cier once again.
The old mans eyes never opened.
"And yet why not ?"
The old man snored half snore.
"And yet why not!' exclaimed the
fnancier, giving the sleeping man a
gentle kick on the shin.
"Whoa! dumit to thunder! who
did that ?" yelled the old man, as he
leaped up.
"And yet why not?" coolly inquir.
ed the financier.
"Why not what ?"
eff we initiate the currency, that is,
increase it, if we add millions of pa
per dollars TIC the millions already
afloat, what must be the effect p
81 egect you if you kick me
again! 70 roared the old man, now
thoroughly aroused.
"On the other hand, coolly contin-
ued the financier, eff we contract the
currency, diminish the amount at1oat,
what result will follow p
"WLat do | care? What are you
talking finance to me for believe
you are a pickpocket, and I'll knock
your head off if you don't clear out
"Something must be done, but
what shall we do ?" continued the
inancier in earnest tones. The gov
eminent says that this bit Of paper is
dollar, yet it is only SO, 90 or 81
cents when brought in contact with
a gold dollar. 1t is because Of
"Lemme alone, | say z" shouted
the old man. What in Texas do
care about your financial talk p
"The government says that this dol
lar bill is one dollar" said the finan-
cier, and yet it refuses TO give me 6
dollar in gold for it. Why
CHATS why!' calculated the ole
man, as he struck straight blow
from the shoulder.
"We must either contract or ex-
pand," replied the financier, as he
took the old man by the throat and
backed him against the wall 'wt
must know that our money is worth
| less OF worth one hundred cents or
she dollar"
"Let 60 of me. There -ha :
ugh !"
And the old man kicked like {
mule
"And until that period arrives,
continued the financler, craming the
old man into a corner and tanning
him hard, "no capitalist will feel like
Withdrawing his money from the
banks and risking it in even Legitimate
speculation.
"Help. Help! Police !" called
the old man.
"Let Congress settle this question,
the fnancier was saying, when officer
collared him and wicked him away
AS he passed out of the depot he
went on:
"Whether we are to have hard
money or initiation, and confidence
will be at once restored and
But he had turned the corner.
"Hang my buttons !" said the old
man, as he wiped his face; "what do
| know about confa:ion or distrac-
ton, and what'll the ole woman say
when she sees me all pounded up in
this way ?"-NeU YORK SIM.
-------s -
A Smallpox Remedy.