, 1875-04-18
HUNI()K,

I Ahoavy business-1mporting elephant.
Az inside dental e1pepse- Having; a toa,
Question. Of The dax?-one1 OF two I orr,
able Or lble? in Or out?
! "Heat generates motion ",-n1ust.aaon. +.
am&a boy citing down On . hot coal.
4 Philadelphia paper speaks Of - 1,.,,.
5000 feet long" A g1azier OF that sort 7onl,
set q paho in : sky1ight.
IFS that clock right over there ?" asked Il,
tao boy, 81 tain's nowhere else 7"
out the room 2' .9No," auavcra Pat ~ .s
sweeping ont the dirt and leaving the nom
Patrick s.ys that the bad condition Of W..t
ern railway Is owing. to the 1sct that tba uh,s
fling ot the locomotive s. vakena the aleaper.
- 4 man is said to be absent-uairded shen +.
thlnks he haa Lett his watch ~ home and takes Il
out Of his pocket 70 see il be has tina to Tptrrn
homo and 90. it,
"John, John, wake up. thern's burglar in ii.
house. !" said tho wife. John aat upright il ths.
bod, burglar, b-u-r-g-l-e-r. burplarn r., r.
rolled over waiting for q harder word.
A French butcher who was On his dsatb.;,.
said to bis wife, = Il / die Francoise, Won mnsI
marry our shop boy* He is good ybang man
and the business cannot be carried on withont
man to look afte-it." ssI hare been thinkne
about that already" said bis wife.
A precocious boy in An uptown fanEv x.a
asked which was the greater evil Of tho Two
hurting anothers feelings or his finger. H3 esd
the former. fright, my dear child" said fhs
grattedd 3D. auestioner and Why is it worse "a
tie r.g around theu," explained ths SIa dsa.
child. 3~''%
nf hA - @-~ -.
Fourth Ward has. during his past life, com.
mltted twenty-sevon murders, eighteen BURGLAR
lets and set tire to'uo less than fifty stores and
linSS-houaesr AT least \ gentIaman informed
us that such was the case Just a. wa ysrn
going to depdsit our ballot in flyor m thu candi.
d.te on Monday last.
ARE you going after that sugar: ~ called a
Ma Masaaests tMleb:1 mother to her boy, Who
waa y ne ssset ts. going after thai
pudeut tome; but just shen he happened to eeo
his father coming up behind him. and he said
very respectfully and lovingly: .'Why, OF coursa
:! am ma; didn't know you needed it right
sway" o@'
4 farmer dropped in ons day to pay hia r=at,
pntapg on long face to correspond with thu
tlme5. On entering the house he told tho land-
the money at al and dashed bundle ot notes:
on the table. ''Tnefo," said he, s.that is oil T
can psy. The money ms taken up md .couused
by Ut. -, the landlord, who said Why.
this IS twice cH much as you oxat", :. naue'ea.
give It mo again, said ths farmer. "Tm dashed
II aiot took it out the wrong pocket!"
neTRolr FREE-PHEssIsas.
4 gentleman who yesterday SAW = boy stealing
q small cake Of maple-sugu from street stand
made him 2esurn il, and said: !" It is inst ~
much Of . eln to ateA oenta as to stsal S50U
Doot yoa know it7" 'Yes," replied the bow.
Is but tho Judge ispretty apt to suspend sentencs
on very small stea1l"
-YeetordaYs = bootbiack followed 3 man around.
Ior several minutes, repeating khe inquiry:
81 HAve nhine?" aud finally the uaAn ex-
,laimed: u Didn't tell you 67s minutes ago
hat didn't want my boots blacksd7" you
ald, mister" replied tho boy, 'but thoaght
you might be lying about It.! !"
1.-Two cents fare for that child, madam"
aid : street-car conductor yesterday as ho open
: Very WE'LL" she replied, feeling in her pocket;
this is an orphan child. and I'm its guardian.
must have receipt for all moneya paid out
I ID as soon ~ you write ons I'll drop nickel in
boz" He shut the door and leaned Over thu
{ AXE Aka 4 man In deep thought.
/ Something always happens to spoil any grand
ii .ech which De1oiter mag try to get Oh.
u sserd1y, among tho people At the fer1J-dock
see the ice sweep By was ne-haired, pro-
ud-looking man, whose soul took in all tho
Il 1deur OF the scene. He had just raised his
IN aud commeuced "How puny is man CON-
re d to nature and her," when = warehouse
: RI rolled barrel Of besna againat his 1esa
III The long-hai1ed man sat down On his pug
It, which was lying on the dock. He vm6Q't
e n ha spectator any longer. ::