Orangeburg news and times. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1875-1877, 1875-06-19
Major Todd's L. 6.

Major Todd, Of our place, lost his
right leg at the battle Of Frcdcrcks-
burg, and some tine ago he purchased
an artificial leg from a man in Will
mington. 1t contained n: system of
springs, which cnaolcd the major TO
use it in such natural manner, thet
when lie was walking along the street
nobody would for moment suppose
that lie had not both Of his own legs.
On Sunday, whilcthe major was on
his way to church, he slipped upon the
ice and gave the store leg IL severe
wrench. He must have dislocatcd
some of the springs; for after rcaching
church and taking his seat, and while
the clergyman was reading the Scrip
lures, the leg suddenly flew up and
rested upon the back of the pew in
front of him. The congregation
looked at him in amazcmcn., and he
grew very red in the face. AS soon as
he took it down itjumpcd up again
and wriggled about on the back OF
the pew, finally kicking Mrs. Thomp-
sons bonnet to rags. Then the major
suppressed it again, and held it down,
but it instantly began convulsive
movement in his own pew, during
which it upset the stools, plunged
'9rsthde- ..ran,,atE the 'ny.l4ohnroks -arr1er
hats, and hammered the board be-
meath the scat, until it made such n
racket that the minister had to stop.
| The sexton came rushing in to find
what was the matter, and the major,
after explaining the difficulty in n
whisper, asked the sexton to let him
lean on him while he charged on the
front door. AS soon as the major rot
into the aisle that dissoutc leg kicked
the sexton sixteen or seventeen times
in a most insolcnt manner, varying
the exercise by making eccentric
swoops off at the side, during which
it kicked right off the high hats at the
pew doors into black silk chaos.
BY the time the major reached the
vestibule the leg had become perfectly
reckless. It few up before and it flew
up behind. II butted against the good
leg and dartcd out sideways, and de-
scribcd circles, and tried to insert its
toes in the majors coat-tail pockets,
and to whack him tn the nose. When
the sexton came with hack aud put
the major init, the leg banged through
the window glass, nnd when the driver
got down to see about it, the leg
brandished itsolfin his face, and con
cluded the exercise by planting
powerful blo'g in his stomach. 1hcn
the major told the driver that he
would give him ten dollars to take
that leg off; and the driver accepted
the offer. For several minutes it
eludcd al his efforts to catch it MS it
danced about, but finally lie got hold
of it and hung on while the major
tried to unbncklc the straps. Then it
came off and rolled the driver in the
mud. Hc got up to watch it. It
writhcd and kicked, and jumped and
throbbed and hoped; and whenever
it would make dash to one side or
the other the crowd would scatter in
order to give it full play. Finally
Ben Woollcy set his dog on it, and
most exciting contest ensucti, the leg
two or three times running Off with
the dog; and as it seemed likely that
the dog would be whipped, Mr.. Wool
ley got q crow-bar and aimed blow
at tho leg, With tho intent 10 smash it.
But he missed it, and nearly killed
tho dog. As soon rs the dog retired
Mr., Woolloy whacked ut it again and
burst it into flinders, and then there
was pcace. The major drove home
and got his crutchca, and since then
' l,o bo mo-, {,,,.1 I, 4 ~