Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-04-29
-,.ss and That.

T..
An air of importance-ones i'rSs
breath.
The public singer that "draWs tne
best is a mosquito
WHY is hen immortal? Because
her sun (son) never sets.
Ifa spider were late for dinner,
what would he dof Take fly.
When is black dog not black
dog? When he's greyhound.
WHY is a kiss like rumorT Be-
cause itgoes from mouth to mouth.
Why was Paul like an old white
horse5 Because he loved Timothy.
WHY is a balky horse like an or
gan? His principal features are his
stops. !,
How can YOU shoot one hundred
and twenty hares at shot? Fire at
wig.
What man is allowed to sit before
the Queen with his hat on! Her
coachman.
What words may be pronounced
quicker and shorter by adding syl-
tables to them? Quick and short.
If you were going through the
woods, which had you rather have, a
lion eat you or bear2 The lion eat
a bear.
What is the difference between a
farmer and a seamstress? One
gathers what he sows, the other sews
what she gathers.
What is the longest word in the
English language? Smiles-because
there is a mile between the first and
last letters.
Why is Sherman the most gallant
general in the army? Because he
marched across the country to Sa-
vannah (Save Anna).
A gentleman the other evening OBJ
iected TO playing whist with a lady
because, he said, she had such a
winning way about her.
"Bub, can you direct me to a dye
shop?" says man to n boot-black.
81 kin that" says the boy, and di-
rects the man to doctors office.
Why is ship like woman? Be
cause she is often tender to man of
war; often running after smack; of
ten attached to great buoy.
What are those things which,
though they appear twice in every
day, and twice in every week, yet
are only seen twice in year? Vow
els.
A minister not long since preached
from the text, BE we therefore
steadfast:" but the printer made him
expound from "Be We there for break
fast"
Mrs. Darnley says there's nothing
like economy for saving. She made
one pair of socks last fifteen years by
knitting new feet every winter and
new legs every other winter.
"Did you see it done?" "No, was
not an eyewitness, but an ear-wit
ness" "A near witness, but not a
nigh witness! That's what call a
distinction without difference"
A darkey gave the following rea
son why the colored race is superior
to the white: ''All men are made of
clay, and, like the meerschaum pipe,
they are more valuable when high ly
colored."
A rich farmer refused to subscribe
for an iron fence for a cemetery in
Vermont on the plea that it needed
no fence, as those inside cannot get
out, and those on the outside do not
want to get in.
A lady noticing boy sprinkling
salt on the pavement to take off the
ice, remarked to friend, pointing to
the salt, "Now, that's benevolence.
"No, it amt" said the boy, some
what indignant; cts SALT.
A family troubled by 4 neighbor
in the same building borrowing
things without leave in their absence,
lately tried the experiment of leav-
ing their kerosene can filled with wa
ter. The lady of the other part of
the house, not long after, called in to
inquire where they bought their
kerosene, for hers wouldn't burn.
She had wasted nearly a bunch of
matches, but could not light her