davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28
THE PEDANrIC LAWYER.
BY JOHN q. SAKE.

bade my lawyer, Windy, sue
My neignbor Jones. for damage due
The plaintiff, on the valid ground
That he, said Jones, had put in pound
Un'syr lily, against the peace,
Three certain sheep of finest fleece;
My property; and valued, say,
At twenty dollars. Please to lay
The damage high, and go ahead.
And, Windy, make him fee, !" said,
:. The statutes full and speedy force
On trespassersl" I" He said, ''Of course :"
And six months later made report
The case was up-before the Court.
When windy's speech seemed nearly done,
And he, as yet, had scarce begun
To touch the matter in dispute
I-growing anxious for my suit
Said, in whisper, "Dont forget
You haven't touched the case as yet;
You've talked, 1 know, an hour or more
About the statutes made before
The Norman Conquest; and have brought
Before us what Justiniau taught,
nd Coke on Littleton; have gone
All through the Code Sapoleon;'
And, very learnedly no doubt,
Have shown his Honor all about
The statutes in The reign of Anne;
And how the leading cases ran
Before Lord Blank held so and SO;
Now let the Hdbeds Corpus go,
And, ere the Court falls fast asleep,
DO say word about the sheepi'
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

SECRETARY BR1sTow and Supervising
Architect Potter have finally concluded
to proceed with the work on the Chicago
Custom-House, and instructions have ac-
cordingly been given to Superintendent
Hannaford, in charge of the building, to
resume operations.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

ton, 2, 426 belong to the professions, and
SO, 800 to the skilled occupations. There
are 500 musicians, that being the most
numerous profession, 80 Jesuits and "a
Sisters of Charity and Mercy.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

TIE President of the French Republic
manages to exc out an existence on a
pitiful salary of $120, 900, with $7S, 900
thrown in for household expenses and
other little incidentals. "Pity the sor-
rows of poor old man."
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

A CURIOUS mistake in the area of Cali
fornia has just been corrected. 1t has
always been given as 1855, ,9S1 miles, as if
it had been actually surveyed, but the
coast survey makesit only 156, 720 miles.
But still it is the largest State next to
Texas.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

THEacquittal of Siney, one of the lead
ers of the striking miners, at Clearfeld,
Pa, upon precisely the same evidence that
convicted Parks, who was jointly indicted
with him, is one of those characteristic
freaks of which only an American jury
could be guilty. Asa contemporary sar-
castically observes, "the jury system
ought to be preserved and guarded
sacredly, as affording curious studies of
intellect and oddity superior to those Of
fered by asylums for the hopelessly
insane"
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28
Wit and HuInOr.

SPORTSMAN epl-apn-Uamet to tile iais1.
WHAT bird lifts the heaviest weight?
The crane.
IT has been decided by Kansas Judge
that man and wife can go to a circus
on ticket that says "admit one"-as
by law they are considered "one."
A WOMAN is very like a kettle, if you
come to think of it. She sings away SO
pleasantly-then she stops-and, when
you least expect it, she boils over
Judy.
"ANYE.Ne pite you dere?" in
quired one Dutchman of another, while
engaged in angling. "No, noting at
all. "Vel," returned the other, "not-
ting pite me too"
"PA, I guess our man Ralph is good
Christian. Chow SO, my boy?
"Why, pa, read in the Bible that the
wicked shall not live out half his days
and Ralph says he has lived out ever since
he was little boy"
A LADY being asked by gentleman to
be his wife, wrote the word "st1ipes," +"
and stated that the letters of the word
could be transposed into the answer He
finally studied out "persist' what every
woman wishes her lover to do.
A CORRESPONDENT of Chicago paper,
writing from Spain, enthusiastically di-
lates upon the sleepy, dreamy express
sion of the young ladies' faces. Which
explains why they are called S'noras, we
suppose.-NeaU York Advertiser.
TIE Picton (Canada) Times perpe-
trates the following on the late baby
show:
Twenty-four babies all in a row,
Twenty-four mammas also on show
Twenty-four daddies happy as clans,
A show of live babies, none of your shams,
vision of angels, dear little lambs.
SAID distinguished politician to his
son "Look at me! 1 began as an
Alderman, and here 1 am at the top of
the tree, and what is my reward? Why,
when die, my son Will be the greatest
rascal in the CITY," To this the young
hopeful replied "Yes, father, when
you debut not till Them
A WESTERN man visiting his brother
in Danbury espied gun on the kitchen
wall. els that gun loaded 2" he asked.
"Oh, no; it is empty" replied the
brother. "Empty2 For Gods sake
load it as quick as you can, or the chill
dren will get hold of it and shoot each
other !" He had read the papers.
Mr.. CHIIDs never wrote anything
more sad and touching than the follow
ing tender effusion
"while smoking on powder-keg,
He dropped cinder down;
| Then rose like meteor,
| To wear the golden crown
Gone to meet the fellow who struck the glycerine-
can with a sledge hammer.
The other day colored resident of
Vicksburg found bottle of whisky in
the suburbs of the city, and hailing a
pedestrian he inquired: "Dat's whisky,
aim it9" "Smells like it, and I guess
| it lie, was the rsfly--tss And tlero ai,f'b
no pizen in it % "Well, there may be
4 can't tell I; shouldn't want to drink
it." eff dere was pizen I'd be dead
nigger, eh I" "You would" "And if
dere wasn't any pizen I'd be wastin' a
pint of good whisky?" eyes" The
finder turned the bottle over and over,
smelled of the contents three or four
times, and finally made ready to drink,
saying "Dere's heaps of pizen lyin'
around loose, but dere's also heaps OF
niggers in Vicksburg, an ize gwine to
tip up de bottle an run de chances. =
Vicksburg Herald.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

SAM CAREY delivered eighty-eight
speeches in Ohio during the late cam
paign.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

THE Chicago hotel registers showed
1912 arrivals in that city in one day, re-
Gently.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

S1NGLE-1EADED editorials will hereafter
afford free and sufficient vent to the Ohio
editorial mind.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28
THE LEGISLATURE.

Members OF the General Assembly of Ohio,
Elected Tuesday, Oct. 12, 1875.
We are indebted to the Cincinnati
Commercial for the following list of
Senators and Representatives chosen at
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28
GIANT FAMILIES.

Specimens of Vermont and Kentucky
Heavy-Weights.
To the Editor of the Paris True Kentuckian:
I understand you have in your county
a very tall family. Will you procure
and publish the name, height and weight
of each member of that family2 Here
with send you the following correct
statement in relation to the Metcalf fam
lily, of Royalton, vt. T. d.
THE VERMONT FAMILY
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

IMMIGRATION for the past year has only
brought us $4,000 new citizens, taking
No account of the number who have gone
home. This is less than half the annual
arrival, two years ago. The countries
from which we receive rank in the fol-
lowing order: Germany, 47,769; En-
gland, 4O,13O; Ireland, 37,957 ; Canada,
25,OO0; China, 16,437; France, 1891 ;
Russia, 1882. Ireland is the only coun-
try which sends us more females than
males, and the importation of improper
women from China would seem to have
greatly subsidized, if we are to suppose
that the number of women of that ma
tionality is properly reported at 3s2.
The comers from Russia are probably
the Mennonites, and $50 are credited to
Iceland. OF those who have an ocoupa.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

The balance-sheet showing the re-
eeipts and expenditures of the Postofice
Department, for the last fiscal year, is
published. The gross receipts from all
ources, including $65O,OOO drawn from
the Treasury and paid out in subsidies,
we're 50, 1851 ,502.68 and the total expen-
ditures $33, Gil, ,3O9.45, leaving de-
fciency of s6,O49, ,sO6.77. The receipts
exceed those for the year ending June
30, 1874, by 50, 1854, 934, or by more than
twelve per cent. The expenditures ex-
ceed those of the previous year by ST.
SCI, sol, or by only about four and
eight-tenths per cent. The deficiency is
81, ,4SO, ,040 less than during the previous
year, the decrease in the deficiency be-
ing more than nineteen and seven-tenths
per cent.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28
CHE Gaton Remottat.
RATES OF ADVERTISING.


Business cards Of 1ve lines or less, s. per annum.
Local notices 10 cents per line each insertion.
Simple announcements of marriages and deaths,
md church and benevolent society notices inserted
free. Any additions TO obituary notices viii be
charged cents per line.
Favors MUST be LANDED in as early as Tuesday
morning to insure insertion the Same week
Communications upon subjects OF general or To-
cal interest are solicited.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28
FRESH TOPICS.

SENATOR FREINeHUYsEN is in favor OF
giving the ballot to women.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28
WHOLE NUMBER 443.

Common Sense written in Philadel-
phia, in January, 1776, which awakened
America to Declaration of Independ-
ence on the 4th of july" etc., etc.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

The mystery surrounding the fate of
little Charley Ross is not yet solved, al
though, after searching trial, Wester-
velt is convicted of conspiracy with
Mosher and Douglass in kidnapping and
concealing the child. For fifteen months
the whole country has been familiar with
the details of the abduction of this
child, and every kindly heart has beat in
sympathy with the bereaved parents.
And the whole community feels a
righteous indignation against every one
who has any connection with the base
and cruel transaction. 1t is generally
believed, Notwithstanding his own
sweeping denial, that Westervelt knows
far more than he has revealed about the
fate of little Charley belief that causes
many to wish that he could be compelled
to confess to the uttermost.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28

AN interesting wrestling match took
place recently in Hancock, Ga, between
two old friends aged, each, about so
years, and named, respectively, Hancock
and Dennis. Fifty years before, to
day, they had a regular fight, in which
Dennis had been the victor. Remem-
bering his defeat, Hancock proposed to
wipe out the disgrace of it by friendly
wrestle, feeling confident that this time
he would come off victorious but he
was sadly disappointed, for he was soon
badly whipped by Dennis. There are
not, probably, two other old gentlemen
of like strength and sprightliness in
Georgia.
Ii the municipal government of Chi
cago is the foul and corrupt thing the
local papers represent it to be, that city
has certainly fallen upon evil times, and
the people who own the property and
foot the tax-bills are entitled to the
genuine sympathy of the outside world.
The Tribune calls the city government
the "Devil-Fish of Chicago" ikens it
to Victor Hugo's horrible creation of
that name, and appeals piteously to the
honest citizens to free themselves from
its crushing folds by the same method
employed by Galliatt in ridding himself
of the monster of the deeply first
slashing off the tentacles and arms of the
horrid thing and then nipping off its
head.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-10-28
EATON, OHIO THURSDAY, OCTOBER 2S

John Runge, former resident of Monmouth,
Ill, in a recent affray in Phillips county, Ark,
shot and killed three brothers named William
son, and was himself mortally wounded.
The members of the St. Louis whisky ring
who were indicted by the grand jury have nearly
all plead guilty.
A man named John House and his son were
shot and killed by one Griffin in an affray at
Franklin, Tenn, last week.
A most fiendish murder was perpetrated near
Marion, Ark, the other day. DR.. L. Ballard,
while riding with lady, was waylaid by man
named Andrews, who fired one barrel Of ashot
gun at the doctor, the charge taking effect in
his neck and face and knocking him off his
horse. After falling, Ballard asked Andrews
to raise him, which he did, into sitting pos
ture, and then, placing the gun near his head,
discharged the other barrel. literally blowing
Billiards. head off.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

rays time. Several members have left lately
who were not disposed to at the time of Mr..
Murray's withdrawal. alleging as excuse that
there was no more harmony III the church now
than when they thought they had a minister
who kicked in the traces.
Joe Jefferson and Charlotte Cushman this
week at the Globe and Boston Theatres. The
latter. though she takes her farewell of the
stage, will not give up reading, l hear. Bourci-
cault made his usual bright farewell speech last
night, and has gone He wanted to take Mrs.
Barry. the leading lady at the Boston Theatre.
TO London with him in the fall to play in The
Shaughraun," but she, though DESTROYS of going
and trying for London success, was obliged
to decline. She has several children and an
aged husband who is entirely helpless to main
tain. John RAYMOND was entertained at the
weekly supper of the Papyrus Club last night
The members of this association are manly
journalists. literary men, and artists. ana IL Is
understood that they can circulate the social
bowl as long as any other club, not excepting
that of politicians. When the hour approached
for Raymond 10 get into the habillments OF
"Col Sellers" for the last performance of his
engagement at the Globe. he said he was "al-
most sorry there were so many millions in it,
that he must don the war-paint."
We have a Cardinal in our midst, red hat
and stockings and all, and to-tlay and to-mor-
row are consequently red-letter days in the an
nails of the Roman Catholics of the city. Their
new cathedral where the imposing ceremonies
are held. is certainly magnificent structure
GOSSIP.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06
Barnabas Going to the Custom House
by Telegraph.

In his statement in the Prog. Age, Bar
naba5 explains that although he lives in
another town che is in reach Of the tele-
graph, and his presence eau be procured
at any hour, when required" This, it
must be confessed is method of answer
ing official calls which the law has not
contemplated 1t is doubtful if even the
wonderful inventive genius of Professor
Morse ever thought it to be possible. Be-
low, our artist has depicted Barnabas re-
spending to call of the kind : q sum-
mons SO sudden that he hadn't time to put
down the Goldfish which he was showing
to a customer, and so tucks it under his
arm. He is going so fast that the streak
OF creased lightning is fairly distanced
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

The State Liquor Agency hasn't become
quoted yet. After the late agent, Howe,
was invited to resign because he had dis
covered the dangerous secret Of compress
ing four barrels Of whisky into two, one
B. c. Stone was invited to the perilous
post. But Stone was a wary specimen.
Like Hotspur's spirits of the vastly deep.
he wouldn't come when he was called.
And now we notice that Edward P. Chase,
of Portland, is designated as the custodian
of the states interest in the wet damna-
ton trade. The public will be curious to
see what new rock he will find upon which
IN cnlit
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

| salaries OF subOrdlnateS is testified to by
them, and virtually confessed in the state
ment in the Age. There can be no doubt
about it. Now the question that interests
the public is, how long shall the head OF
the custom house be allowed to disgrace
the position he holds and the government
he represents?
| "A newspaper controversy that has
been going on for some time between Rev
Dr. Field of Bangor. and Mr.. Emery OF
| the Commercial, has come to an end Dr.
Field charged Mr. Emery with being the
author of a dispatch to the Boston Herald
in which his lecture was misrepresented
He now publishes card saying he was
mistaken and exonerates MI Emery from
the charge.
- Barnabas gives to the term salary
grab a new meaning. Formerly it meant
for man to grab an increase of his own
Under present custom house regulations
it signifies that the Collector grabs three
tourths the pay of those under him.
A Young girl was recently compelled to leave
| this place, because she had slept with two GER
| tain young men. Elk.
Horrible Good heavens If girls down
this way were forced to leave town on that ac-
count, there wouldn't be half dozen young te-
males left in West Watervie in two weeks.
! West Watervlle Union.
That's rather tough on the girls, and
can't be true. We shall look to see an
apology in the next issue.
Lewiston is city Of wonders. 1t
was there that the four barrels Of whlskey
became two at the command of the city
agent And now a man in the same place
has invented perpetual motion.
-Barnabas M. Roberts, collector OF the
Custom House at Belfast has it is beley-
ed, been acting naughty, and detective
is looking into the matter. Send him to
Congress. West Waterville Union.
The West Waterville Union, new
paper, published by Rowe and Hooper,
comes to ougtabe 1t is of fair size. neat
ly printed and full of spicy writing.
The Republican State Committee met
at Portland on Friday for organization,
&c 1t was voted to hold the State Con-
vention at Portland, June 10Th.
The Maine Central Co. has decided to
erect a building at Portland for the COM
panv's offices, which will be removed
from Augusta
The favorite song Of Barnabas is said
to be one of Moore's Melodies commence
ing 'Still SO gently DER me stealing
1t will be understood that the humor-
list who appears at Hayford Hall next
Tuesday evening is not Barnabas, but Bar
nabee.
COAL ASHES. A citizen who has an eye
to the handy and useful things of lite,
sends us the following method of sitting
coal ashes without dust
When clearing out your stove or furnace,
dump the ashes into a wooden box about three
feet long that has one end out, 50 that a shovel
IAN be used in removing them to the sieve as
from Il floor. Turn on about a gallon of water
twentv-four hours, when they can be sitted
without particle of dust
Coal ashes make excellent walks when rolled
or pounded down, with Il small quantity OF
beach gravel strewn on top to keep the ashes
from tracking.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

Subscribers requested to take notice OF the
date the colored slips attached to the paper 1t
is the only form of receipt now used. For Instance,
Is May 7 that the subscription Is paid to that
date. When new payment Is made, the gate VII MI
be changed to correspond, and SUBSCRIBERS ARE
REQUESTED TO SEE THAT THEIR DATES ARE
CORRECT. Subscribers in arrears are requested TO
forward the sums due
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

SUBSCRIBERS desiring to have the address Of
papers changed must state the Post Office which
the paper has been sent as well as the one TO which
it is to go.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

REBATES & LOCKE, "a Park Row. New York,
authorized agents for procuring advertisements
for the Journal
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

ADMINISTRATORS, EXECUTORS and GUARDIANS
desiring their advertisements published in the Jour
nal will please state to the Court.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

ax-in sending money, state TIL POST OFFICE
to which the paper is sent.-a1
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

against his administration are true That
he resides at Stockton, contrary to law,
is admitted. That he neglects his duties
is apparent to every one And that he
corruptly and fraudulently iIches the
salaries of subordinates is testified to by
them, and virtually confessed in the state
ment in the Age. There can be no doubt
about it. Now the question that interests
the public is, how long shall the head of
the custom house be allowed to disgrace
the position he holds and the government
he represents?
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

the Southern people under the accumulat-
ed calamities and wrongs incident to their
condition since the close of the war have
not only been unprecedented, but really
marvellous. If their offences were great
the atonement therefor has been most am
pie and most nobly borne.
1t is this conviction, slow coming but
sure, which has changed public opinion in
the North and opened, as we believe, the
doors for perfect reconciliation between
the late hostile sections. Upon that re-
Cancellation, as firm foundation, the re-
constructed edifice of National Union will
arise; and when the cap-stone of that
glorious temple is laid amid the joyful
shouts of long divided but now strongly
reunited people, then and not before shall
we have right to feel that the awful Or
deal through which our country was called
to pass has purchased for US a precious
and permanent blessing. Missouri Re-
publican
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-05-06

Prof Marsh. Of Yale College, has let a
little side light in upon the management
Of Indian affairs. He was collecting fos-
sis and geological specimens in the Bad
Lands last fall, and in order to conciliate
the Indians in that vicinity he gave feast
to Red Cloud and his companions. The
great Sioux chief made bitter complaint OF
the style in which the Indian agents were
cheating his people. He said that the
president had promised many fine things
when the chiefs were last in Washington,
but nothing had been done to protect his
people. Prof Marsh, in order to retain
the good will Of the Indians, promised to
represent their hardships to President
Grant, and took from Red Cloud speci-
mems OF the kind of -four, coffee, tobacco
and sugar that the agent was serving out
to his tribe. The professor, being like
most scholars, a man of his word, took oc-
casion on his first visit to Washington, to
exhibit to the proper authorities the goods
which paternal government bent on civ
ilizing the untutored savage, is distrlbut
ing. A Tribune dispatch gives the result:
1.-The commissioner admitted that the
flour was very bad, but said that it was
not a sample Of that now issued but of
some that was issued several years ago,
and which was so poor that the ponies
would not eat it. He said also that Red
Cloud must have picked out the black
beans of the coffee; that the sample Of
sugar had been wet, and that the tobac
co, which was execrable, must be some
issued at some former time" If the In
dians attain Christianity on such a diet, it
is plain that the old-fashioned style of
getting religion by modification and fast
ing is a very effective one. The itinerant
geologist told the commissioner that the
agent was not, judging from personal OBJ
servation, fit man for his position, but
the commissioner philosophically remark
ed that he was good enough for the wages
he was getting