The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1875-04-08
GETTING EVEN WITH A NEGLIGENT
HUSBAND.

ladies who have husbands who are
Ii neelectful lii supplying them with
I kindlings should carefully study the ex-
nerience of a Division Street sister.
All her married life she has ha6 an I'm
! broken struggle with her husband to
keep herself supplied with wood, and
the greater part of the time she had
been obliged to depend upon her own
dizziness with the ak, and any one VINO
has seen woman handle an ak, knows
what dreadful thing it is. Two months
ago she begged of him not to 60 away
without leaving her some kindhngs.
He said he wouldn't. But he finally
did. Then she hit upon a plan. She
had four dozen clothespins. She took
one dozen OF them for starting the fire,
and found they worked admirably. The
next day she used another dozen, and SO
she continued till the four dozen We're
gone. Then she went to the store and
purchased another four dozen-having
them s.put in the bill When they
were gone she repeated the Grand.
She said no more to him about kind
ings. For ten years she had kept up
the battle and now she was
tired and sick az heart. He could
90 his own way, and she could go
Lers-patiently, accomplishing y-untll
the end would come.
On Monday he signifed at the store
that he would like to settle his account.
The bill was made out and handed him.
He glanced down the items. AS he adj
vanced along the column his face began
to work. First his eyes slowly enlarged,
then his mouth gradually opened, caused
by the dropping of his lower jaw; and
wrinkles formed on his forehead. One
third down the column he formed his
lips as if to whistle. -Four lines below
he did whistle. Half way down he said :
.'Gracious -
4 little further on he said,
ssThunder!'
Four more lines were taken III, and he
spoke again:
''By the Jumping Jupiter -
Then he read on, shifting his thigh
vigorously, and giving vent to various
expressions of the liveliest nature. FL
nauy he threw the bill down.
''I say, Benson, look here; this bill
can't be mine you've got me mixed up
with some laundry
'sThat's your bill, sir, - said the grocer,
pleasantly.
ST tell you it can't be-" persisted the
Division Street man, beginning to look
scared. s'Why, here's fifty-five dozen
clothespins in two months bill. What
on earth do you take me fora four
story laundry?"
''But it is your bill Your wife can
explain it to you. She ordered the
pins.
My wife" gasped the unfortunate
man.
Eyes, sir
The debtor clutched the bill, damned
it into his pocket, and hurried straight
home He bottled into the house with
out any abatement of speed, and finging
the paper on the table before his wife,
knocked his hat on the back of his head,
and said
''Martha Ann Johnson, what does this
meant There are fifty-fve dozen clothes
pins in Benson's bill for the past two
months, and he says you ordered every
blessed one of them"
And SO I did, said she, demurely.
ssW-h-at. Fifty-fve dozen clothes
pms in two monthsl'' and he shot down
into a chair as if freight car had fallen
atop of him. ssFifty-five dozen clothes
pins in two MONTHS" he howled. CIVIL
just heaven stand that?''
81 tell you, you needn't stare at me
that way, Reuben Wheeler johnson, nor
go to calling onto heaven with your I'M
piousness. [ ordered them clothes pins
myself. and I have burnt every one OF
'em in that there stove, just because
you were too ALFRED lazy to get stick
of wood And [ declare, before I'll be
bothered iawing and fighting to get you
to cut wood, I'll burn up every clothes
pin in the land, and you shall pay for
them, if you have to sell the shirt on
your back to do it. So now!"
And Mrs. Johnson, with face like
scarlet, snatched up the broom, and
went to sweeping the carpet as if every
flake of dust was red not coal, while
the unhappy Mr.. johnson fastened to
the store, and paid the bill. And before
dark that night he had half cord of
wood sawed and split and piled up ready
for -Daabtuy N'eeCs.