The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1875-04-01


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MISUNDERSTANDING the latter part OF last
week considerable excitement was occasioned
on the streets by the announcement that ABOUT
fifty Sons Of Jonadab, were expected on the
Friday evening train. Who Mr.. Jonadab, the
healthy progenitor of such an extensive family
was. was the subject OF profound speculation
and much anxiety. Many surnlses were cur
rent as to the probable result OF this sudden IN
fiux Of immigration and property holders were
seen to smile blandly as they stood ON the
street corners and counted their fingers Ger
and DER again in calculating the approaching
advance in real estate. Business men rushed
around with more activity than had been known
since the stPanic,'' and the Black Hills excite
ment paled into utter insigniticance beside the
flood of wealth and population that now SEEM
ed about to pour in upon us; but alas! as II to
show the hollow mockery of all human expec-
tation, rumor gained circulation that nelthe-
the old gentleman nor any OF his numerous de-
scenderts were possessed of money, fields or
VINEYARDS, but that they were a kind OF Bohe-
mean Band, whose intent at present, was
hidden in the womb OF uncertainty; but that
this hitherto peaceful community was resting
under the shadow Of some dire and dismal ca
tastrophe, admitted Of no doubt. and the city's
bonds were down below zero in the financial
mercury We had heard Of the Hahn family
and their interesting quartette, and had ex-
tended to Baltimore our sincerest sympathies,
reserving the mental prayer that no such ca
lamity would ever befall our own placid little
city, and now to realize that patriarch With
fifty sons, and anticipating an increase OF fami-
" whilst among lis, would make his appearance,
was more than human nature could endure,
and had it not been for frequent and deep pota-
tons Of Clemmer's nectar, Staunton would
have been silent city to-day.
Antiquarians, having before their minds eye
the doleful picture Of Sodom and Gomorrah, at
once devined that we were to be visited by con-
dign punishment for having so long neglected
the bridge over Lewis Creek, and more mod
ern students were for sending for United
States troops; our level-headed Mayor, howev-
or, with that prccaution and forethought
which has always characterized his administfa-
ton of municipal affairs, ordered the chain
gang to throw up breast works, and called up
on the s.West Augusta Guards" to supply
themselves with one hundred rounds OF ammu-
milton, bid an affectisnate adieu to wives and
sweet-hearts, and prepare for grand and CORY
combat. Early on Friday evening the compa-
nv, headed by the ''Stonewall Brigade Band, !"
announced themselves as ready for the fray,
and after parading the streets for several hours
drew up in line of battle before the depot
Shortly before the arrival of the train a tele-
gram was received, stating that the mission Of
the Jonadabs was pacific one with the excep-
ton OF sworn enmity to whiskcy in all shapes.
Some bright young man OF historical attain
ments suggested that little Bumgardner be
sprinkled along the platform and that perhaps
they would pass on, but the rudy countenances
of the passengers seen looking from the win
dows Of the approaching train, at once refuted
such an idea and all enterprising bar-keeper
hustled up placard, stating that common ''six
weeks old" had gone up to Is cents drink.
But his visions of future opulence were DOOM
ed to dissipation, for no sooner had the train
halted than the gallant commandant ordered
the company to fix bayonets, surround the ar
rivals and conduct them to the place prepared
for them. Many long, lingering look was
east at the bright array of decanters as the
procession moved slowly up the street, but the
vigilance OF the military nipped all struggling
i'll the bud, and the prisoners passed quietly
into the hall, leaving the city to breathe freely
once again and return thanks as Best she knew
how for the averted evil.
Chas. NJ. Peck, a student OF Marshall Col
lege, Huntington, W. Va, committed suicide
by shooting himself on last Wednesday week.
Financial embarrassment and love were the as
signed cause.
A most brutal outrage was pei petrated On
Che Goth upon the person. Of Mrs. John Nielsen,
living in Prince GeoSge county, by negro
who had been employed about the place named
Jerry alias John Scott. After committing the
decd Scott shot himself, but survived the