The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1875-01-29
scIssoRuNcs,

Thereis no luck like pluok.
Getting law-gettihg "high."
Blind justiSS-@S Judge asleeps
The butcher is mightier than the
pen,3 & 10 nils'htm d91s
King Coffee Of Ashauta, has ''aet-
tied"
The fourth Of . mana quarter
master,
A scar nobIy got is q good livery
Of honor.
Even the LATEST boy can catch d
whipping. ,.9
Our gin mills continue to run on
full tine. ei 81
The bored of education --children
who bate school. $50 l 500
Taunton, perpetrates thefollowingi
Tenement 2 let.n 81 ais6a
DR.. Mary Walker pants for che
Improvement Of her sex, is.
Why is it that at the eoldest season
nature takes off her duds?
Old Beelzcbub must be tailor;
for he is always sowing tares;
An arlnless MlIwaukee woman
boxes her husbaHds ears with her
feet. oa gd afad .aqaao
When a man amt good for any.
thing else he's about right 70 sit on a
jury. 8 is,.,
VOLUNTARY abduction is what a
western newspaper calls on elope-
ment.
We want FIRE engine! There's d
matoh peddler in towh.-Armenid
Tines. a.. a5ais 5r o0f
When a man calls you . liar take
him by the hand and call him-a
gentleman.
Fire is said to be dissipated ele-
ment, because it goes out almost
every night. aA-o' b Aao4
When boy becomes bent on going
to sea he should be Strengthened be.
fore The mast, IA oe sgI
Can any OF our exchanges inform
us why it is that Louisville gills al.
ways have a mole between the shoul-
ders?--& Louis Jour. 'D 'Al.A
Al Michigah %bman has just made
her ninth husband the happiest man
10 the world--for mouth.
Henry Clay describes a mule as an
animal "that has no pride Of ancestry
and no hope Of poststity." ..t-
St. Louis will Open her soup-houses
shortly. She will take another cehsus
that will make Cbicago howl
"A lively frog inside bf a growing
kturnip is the latest product oftjourna-
listic ingenuity at Salt Lake City.
A man of considerable bspacityy
in Cincinnati is man who can eat
his six or seven pounds Of pork d
day '8 t
Two horns will last an OK d life;
time, but many man wants that
number every morning before break
fast.
The man who sang, "Ohl breathe
no more that simple air" went into
the smoking car where 1t was more
mixed.
Warning-the young man who ad-
dressed the young lady as the priest
ess OF his soul, hegan life as q clam
yender m ~ l--s9-
I A French preacher describes he'll
as a place where they talk politics all
day. What they do at night be does
uot state.
The Emperor Francis Joseph has
decorated al the members Of the
\ Austrian Polar Expedition They
will be upholstered and SsrPeted next
week,
Mrs. Mcfarland Richarasea is
teaching tho waxtlower business IN
\ Chicago, aafid Dahiel, 50 fat as the
public Is iniormed;'bas gcHe 70 inss-
meht. ~ sa
eWhai have yop Been doing,' asked
boy Of lis playmaie whom he saw
coming ont of the'hotse with teaVs IN
his eyes. 1--WE been ehasl 0 birch
rod around my iather,n was tha
smatting reply.
A party Of Sioux Indiana stole an
, ice-crean freezer, lBihkipa il was q
hand organ, and al the big medicine
men turned The crank q week, before
they coDclhdSd there was no music
in il.
i Tho toe wa 50 thick IN Troy early
Z The other morning that Obs Times
4 soleulnly AYERS one could Hol dis
E tiuguish a policemaA from niniVgiRiis;fs..
/ post across The slreet M 'he tliliut
know that hilcbingpoaig hastF qa