The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1875-01-14
LEVITIEs.
There is no luck like pluck.

MnOr maCtoIS-OOlnoIS StI1KeS.
Hostile furniture chairs.
A duel is very quickly managed. 1t
only takes two seconds to arrange it.
william Penn would sit down under
a tree, gather the Indians about HIM,
and tell them of the land beyond the
sea, and deal himself four aces and win
their ducats every time. That's the last
story.
An old farmer gives it as his candid
opinion, after many years OF observa-
ticn and experience, that the arrival of
c;rcu.; will do more towards enforcing
the Fourth Commandment than dozen
Sunday Schools.
DIR. Carpenter asserts that Newton's
law of gravitation is mere hypothesis.
This is an age of disenchantment. Even
the man who falls in love with beauti-
full head of hair too often discovers that
it is a mere hypothesis too.
ssHave you Goldsmith's Greece? Was
asked of the clerk in q store in which
books and various miscellaneous articles
were sold. 'sNo," said the clerk rehect-
ively," eve havn't Goldsmith's Greece,
but we have some splendid hair oil.
Said Missouri preacher: There's
powerful sight of giggling back thar
in the corner, and its got to be stopped,
or the lord Will delegate NE to open the
door and throw some out. It was stop
ped.
When it was said to g Nebraska man
that he didn't use good granmer, he put
on mournful look and replied: "Well,
I didn't have the chance some folks had
We lived more'n ten miles from the
nearest tavern
An American who has recently visited
Italy writes: "Venice is nice place,
only I must say I think it's damp. It
must have rained tremendous before our
arrival, for at present we can only get
about the streets in boats"
A jurynan was asked whether he had
been charged by the judge. "Wel,' y
said he, ssthe little fellow that sits up in
the pulpit and stares at the crowd gave
us lecture, but don't know whether
he charges any or not.
(Which. my dear lady, do you think
the merriest place in the world ?" ''That
Immediately above the atmosphere that
surrounds the earth, I should think. I"
sAnd why sou Because [ am
told that there all bodies lose their
gravity
A Dakota miss of thirteen, and as
pretty as girl of that immature age can
be, recently eloped with wild Indian
boy about nineteen years old. When
last seen the couple were flying across
the prairie on a pony, with their faces
towards the setting sun.
At the recent explosion in Paris a
priest showed great heroism going into
the fire to help the wounded persons out.
He was badly burned, and whepi the
surgeons were attending to his hurts, a
reporter asked for his name. He said?
Write only-a priest.
Anything else ?" as used in the stores,
has been repeated so much that it has
lost it's power. A man who bought a
can of oysters the other day actually
forgot to say he wanted crackers too,
though the question was put with
unusual vigor, and at the critical mo-
ment.
The ianitor of an Indianapolis medical
college was deeply affected on recogniz-
ing his brother-in-law on the dissenting
table. His grief was the more poignant
from the fact that he himself carried
the stolen corpse up three flights of
stars.
Napoleon was one day searching for a
book in the library at Malmaison, and
al last discovered it on shelf some
what above his reach. Marshal Money,
who was present, of thetallest len
in the army,-stepped forward, saying:
s'Permit me, sire; am higher than
your majesty" "You are longer,
marshal" said the emperor, with
frown.
Scene in Court-Lawyer to dull wit
mes: care you experimenting ma
son?" Witness looks blank 81 mean
how long is it since you ceased to be a
iourneyman % Witness looks blanke-.
"Can't you understand? When did you
become a master mason p Witness
looks blankest, while the counsel on the
other side makes the matter clear as
mud by spitefully suggesting that his
learned brother wished to know show