The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1875-04-07
Variety.

A great hardship-An iron steamer.
A doughmestic dificulty-Heavy bread
is there any law against striking an attitude
A pair OF rubbers-A washerwoman's hands.
Concerted movement-The waving OF baton
Hush money-The money paid baby's nurse
The end which all like to come to-A dividend
A good butcher is the carver of his own for
tune.
Miners search for gold in vein, but often gel
quartz OF it.
A bad thing to put up with-An uuaccOmmO-
dating landlord.
The Irish are hopeful people they always try
TO wake the dead.
This is a CRATE prospect, as the prisoner said in
peeping out Of his cell window.
There is nothing so rigidly Catholic ns an um.
brella At keeps lent the year round.
spioer says a fireplace always reminds him Of
Shakespeare, because it is a CRATE barred.
Mr.. NayIe, Of Toronto, was knocked by mis-
take for another man. recently. he hopes they
will hit the right Naylle on the head next time.
The man who won't take paper because be
can borrow one. has invented machine with
which be can cook bis dinner by the smoke Of his
neighbor's chimney.
" What on earth made you get so drunk, and
why, Oh why. do you come to me 10 such dread
ial state2" 4" Because, my darling, all the other
places are shut up"
A melting sermon being preached in q country
church, all tel a-~eeping bat one msn. who when
asked why be did not weep with the rest, said
'Obl belong 10 another parish"
q" What makes you look so glum, Tom ?" "Oh,
] had to endure a sad trial to my feelings"
" What on earth was il ?" why. had to tie on
3 pretty girls bonnet with her mother looking"
Passeager-Sir, this is intolerable; it is hot
enough IN this car to roast the devil Conductor
Oh, no, you're not roasted yet. Passenger sub
sides, but be can't see exactly what there is to
laugh al.
julius, Why is de geitin' out O. bed on de 3lst
Oh August ike one oh Moores melodiesg Does
VOC glib il up, my spected cullud friend p In
course does whyg7 "Belase it's de last rose
or summer
Anybody might know that Bailey was back in
Dsubury. Abiding to ice on the walks, be says:
e. We can understand why the druggists DO not
clear dsir fronts. People must live. But we
don't understand the other dealers"
il looks bad TO see dog proceeding his master
dowu the street, and calmly turn down the stairs
70 the drst saloon be approaches II shows there
is something wrong, something lacking, deplor-
able tendency on the part Of the dog.
A lawyer once asked a hOtel-keeper the follow
iur Questions e II man gives you a hundred
pounds to keep for him and dies, what do you doi /
DO Won pray Tor him. No sir replied the |
landlord. e. Z pray for another just ike him."
A cslebrass5 judge. who stopped very much in /
walking, ha5 q stone tbr0En At him one day. 1
vhiot fortunately passed over him without hitting
hiu- Turning 10 his TREND. be remarked: = Had
7 been al UPRIGHT Judge, that might have caused
NY Death"
An ole Counecficut parsou. whose pecufarties
o. preaching were pr0verbial. and who was blessed
vitt temper Of rrsai value was one day told by
q pa7shiorsr that he did not like his sermons.
ID Well sui5 the ole man. don't wonder at it.
7 6ott Ike EN- myself
3Our professor does wonderful things ia sur
rs-y. sad Young medical student; he has &C
tuali5 made new Iip for boy. taken from his
ohssk- Al. vel snid bis old aunt, 9 mSny's
.hs tine hare had pair taken from mine, and
nc rs-T pziuful opsrziion either"
A hu-u sss. hnlf-ritts6 creature was accosted
,F saury fellow. who thought to make game OF
nm suy. Jack. had. 5osf want place. Mas
Is uaniE fool Az. indeed replied Jack
'uuuts q fl6l. does hef Then are yoa going 70
.s1vs. Or does be Want couple ?"
Tvo i0rs5 us1 took ret1re under tree IN q
Tioisuf thunder shower -Julius, can you pray
sE5 uus No. San" vas the reply, .' Nebber
u-1Ts5 u M HFe- We'll. cant you sing 3
1vungr e. No. Suu; don't know 10 hymn"
Wei Sc hsah. honey, sum61 gigiOus got 70 be
iona heat mighty Esu5asn. SpOse you pass round
a.