Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-08-25

The Importance of Knomledge. Detroit
Free Press: She said she'd take dozen
of eggs, but while the RiOcer Was
counting them out she asked the price.
He told her, and she shrieked:
Seventeen cents !"
"Yes, ma'am.n
"Why, that's outrageous
"Well, It's hard times. and everything
is up."
She sat down on q sugar barrel,
sighed several times. and asked if eggs
were likely to be lower or higher.
81 don't claim to be q prophet" he
replied, as he twisted q sheet of paper
into the shape of funnel, "but dare
say that they'll he down to 16i cents IN
ess than a week, and perhaps go lower:
rade, which is naturally depressed
curing July and August Is looking up
a little. Our exports of gold are now
equalled by our imports The calling
in of bonds puts more ready money
ahoat. and capitalists are much more
hopeful this week than last. The crops
are about ready to move; NAVIGATION
prospects are brighter. and public con-
tidence in financial measures Is rapidly
returning. One thing moves around
another. you see, and though, as said
before, | am not a fiuancirr and my
predictions are not entitled to any great
weight, it seems clear to me that eggs
have got To come down. A great current
of eggs Is setting toward this point
from dozen different directions, and
even if the calling in of bonds and the
sale of surplus gold don't produce lower
prices, l cannot see why figures should
go up"
She reached into the pickle barrel,
nipped a cucumber, and went away
wondering why her husband never
knew any thing.
A family in this city, the widowed
father of which has been somewhat
afflicted of late with an attempted inter-
meddling of uprOariOus sisters-in law,
has a six-year-Old girl that has a
''faculty of prayer" A few evenings
since she enumerated the objects of her
supplications as follows: "God bless
papa and my gOverness, ard nv sisters
and brother, and my uncle Sam, and
aunt Georgia, and my twin cousins and
cousin Julia, and all my relations ex
cept Maud and Jane aud Ellen (the
obnoxious aunts.) and, the less yOu
have to do with them the better it will
be for you"
During the rain lately. a party
stepped into Merrill's grocery and asked
for the loan of an umbrella. He was
promptly accommodated. you're a
pretty Oblieing man." observed CHS
toner. after the stranger stepped out.
That's a mighty honest fellow"
claimed Mr.. Merrill. "a hone.ter or
more generous man you won't tiDd in a
days travel. He has got number of
umbrellas of me, but he Away brings
back a better one in return. He changes
'em somehow. but how | don't know,
aud don't care. | see he's honest. an
that's all care abOutit.-Ddnbury NeTs
The London gossips are telling this
story, apropOs of Queen VictOria's con-
tinu-d seclusion: At the princess of
Wales garden party, at which she Was
present, the other day, the Queen ac
c,>trd distinguished Officer and con-
versed affably with him for some
minutes. At last the gallant general
remarked: 81 am very sorry for being
so stupid. am sure | have seen your
face and remember it perfectly well
but | cannot remember your name"
Suggestire.-"Hair gettin' a little thin,
sir,' said the barber. Young man."
said John Henry, looking down upon
him from the height of a solemn ex-
perience, young man, when you are
married you will never allude in that
thoughtless manner to domestic affiic-
tiOns. No, don't apologize. My feelings
ar- blunted. But is there not some
mysterious ungnent-sOme sOft, seduc
tive compound-that I'D kes the hair
more slippery to the grasp {"
Smilkins telegraphed from New York
Ia the proD,ie;Or of Long Branch
hotel "a follows: Reserve old rooms
for 81 If and family; down tO-nisht."
Smidkins' message was taken literally,
and he was surprised and disguised
upon his arrival at the American
Brighton to find two of the oldest and
most dilapidated rooms in the bOfel
over the kitchen prepared for the recep-
tion of himself and family.-New York
Nail.
A blind man had been sitting one day
and pleasantly chatting with some
visitors tor an hour, when one of them
wished the company good morning, and
left the room. "What white teeth that
lady has," said the sarcastic blind man.
"HOw can You possibly tell that !" said
friend. Because" was the ready an
swer, "for the last half hour she has
done nothing but laugh"
Red Eagle, an educated Sioux chief.
wanted to marry a Minnesota girl. She
said: eff you can raise $50 bushels of
potatoes a year, 200 bushels of wheat,
aud S400 worth of stock, and can buy
me silk dress for the wedding. am
yours Not much," replied the copper
colored chieftain," but l can raise hair
enough to make you braid" They
were not married.
The man who slappeth himself in his
face in order to deprive the festive
mosquito of his rations may live to see
the day when he will be able to SYM
pathize with the well-intentiOned in
sect, which pres-Dteth its bill not mali
ciOusly, but verify because it innO-
Gently desireth to obtain that which it
needeth.
when l go a shoppin'," said an old
lady,"l alters ask for what | wants,
and if they have it, and it's suitable.
and / feel inclined to buy it, and it's
cheap, and can't be got for less, most
alters take it, without chatting about it
all day as some people do"
"HoWmuch for the broad faced chicken
on the fence r. inquired an Irishman
of farmer on Staten Island. the other
day. That's not chicken, it's an
owl" replied the farmer. Il don't care
how Ould he is, l would like to buy
him." says the lrishman.
When Western man gets divorce
from crusadiDg and strong minded
wife, the papers say, "Mr. sO-and-so
has resigned his position as husband
for Mrs. SO-and-so.n