Los Angeles daily herald., 1875-05-18
Eoa Aneeles Aerala.
Miscellaneous Items.

An insane convict in the asylum of
Auburn prison feels assured that he
will become lunatic If he does not
whistle eight hours q day. He has no
watcn, and that he may be sure OF full
filing his task he commences at day
break, and only stops when he falls
asleep at night.
Gentlemen, "cried conductor on
the Savannah and Montgomery Rail-
road, tsplease not to squirt your am
beer in this ke-yar. 1t Is dirty prac-
tice. II you want to squirt go into the
forward ke-yar and you kin squirt as
much rs you please" Whereupon the
squirters withdrew.
A witty Englishman who answered
at q dinner at Concord, the other day,
to the toast" the Queen, "9said: II
wish to express my satisfaction in be-
ing with you here to-day, and my
equal satisfaction in having been alb
sent hundred years ago."
"Fellow-citizens, the blood of those
heroes comes trickling down from
generation to generation, fertilizing
the soil to patriotism and making the
garden of Liberty look like . bed of
fresh asparagus, which"-and until
his wife jabbed her elbow in his back
aad told him to stop his jaw and go to
sleep, he thought he was delivering
the Centennial Grafton at Lexington.
Julian Hawthorne went to see the
Oxford Cambridge race on the Thames
the other day, and his conclusion is
that there were but two men among
the winning oarsmen who would be
considered acquisitions to q good
Harvard crew. He calls on the
American colleges to send ever anoth-
or crew we'll practiced in the English
stroke, and beats his pile that they
will show the Englishmen the shortest
way yet from Putney to Mortlake.
The Rochester Democrat is another
of those papers which are antagonistic
to the poet-editor ofthe Philadelphia
Ledger. 1t says: "Don't send US obit-
uary poems, young persons. Remem-
Der that George w. Childs of Phila-
delphia pays ten cents line for such
articles of grief.n The insinuation
that G.. Washington Childs, A. M,
buys obituary poetry at the rate of ten
cents asline, and palms it offat an ad-
miring public as his own, is too pitiful-
ly mean and low to be seriously re-
futed.
1t is related that the Postmaster OF
Monticello, Ga, recently performed
the feat of reading a letter without
hearing the contents. An old woman
who had never been to school got let
ter one day and asked the Postmaster
to read it for hel. She did not want
him to hear it, so she took q wad Of
cotton out OF her pocket and stuffed his
ears with it. She then had him read
the letter in low voice, and was per-
fectly satisfied that the reader could
not hear word of 1t.
A good many years agoa Massachu-
setts man was elected to the Office Of
Lieutenant Governor. When the fact
of his election was announced he was
called upon for q speech. He proceed
ed to acknowledge the honor in very
handsome language, and added that he
had no doubt he would make good
Lieutenant Governor, as that was the
office he had always held in his own
house. "a s
A" Georgia Cracker writes to the
Florida Union explaining the origin OF
the nickname as follows:' "yearss agO
berOfe mills were established In this
country, when the backwoodsman, OF
those who livedl IN the interior, remote
from the ports of entry, wereu unable tc
procure transportation, they adopted a
way Ly which they cracked corn with
huge rocks. The interior people were
thus tabled with the distinction corn
crackers-hence the term 'cracker.'n
The Plumas National says that the
crops are looking finely at present In
Indian Valley. q