The Opelousas journal. [volume] (Opelousas, La.) 1868-1878, 1875-03-05
Uncle Heb.
How the Old Man Died-Taking His Last
Luxury on Earth.

Luxury ON Earth.
His full name was Hebdon Wright
Turner, but everybody called him
"Heb." He must have passed his six.
stieth birthday, but no one cared to look
a second time to see if he was growing
old and wearing out. He chored
around livery stables and saloons, al
ways hungry and always ragged, and
while no one was his friend he had no
enemies.
The other day he fell down in faint
in saloon on the river road, and when
he was restored to consciousness he
startled the three or four men who had
placed him on the bed by exclaiming :
"Boys, I'll be darned if amt going
to die -
No one had ever stopped to think
| whether Uncle Heb was ever going to
die. 1t was the general impression
| among his acquaintances that he would
live along for three or four hundred
years.
How do you feel ?" they asked.
Kinder trembly and weak" he re-
piled. "I'll bet fifty cents I'll kick the
bucket afore noon p
They offered to bring a doctor, but he
said:
"No, don't take any trouble; tend
right to business as usual, and when I
kick the beam, plant me quietly and
without any stylel"
The men imagined that It was mere
weakness which would soon pass of,
and one of them sat down near him
nh 4ho al b. -
their business.
"It's tough weather for a funeral !"
remarked Uncle Heb, as the fierce wind
howled around the house. "It don't
make any difference how I'm carried
up; I wouldn't know it if there were
sixteen hacks and brass band; Just as
lief so up alone with the driver r.
After pause he smiled blandly and
inquired
"Theyu speak of me as the late
deceased wont they? Yes, of course.
l should like to read tie papers to.
morrow and see what they say of me.
but 7 won't be here, you know
Have you any property to dispose
of ?" asked the watcher.
"Lemme see p mused Uncle Heb.
"Yes, thar's an extra pair of butes and
hat and about IL cents in money. I
suppose the right way would be to have
executors pinted, but, as I said be-
fore, don't want any fooling around.
You can divide up the estate between
YOU"
The old maa was very pale and he
seemed to be suffering, and the watcher
was anxious to do something.
&C. tell you," replied Uncle Heb,
" I'd like some brandy. If it wasn't
just as it is / wouldn't put you to any
trouble, but being I'm going away to
stay I'd like few swallers of real peach
brandy-some of that in the fancy de-
canter." ..-.s..
Some was brought him, and he
smacked his lips, smiled, and remarked:
IF wasn't going to die I'd try and
lay in quart or two of that brand !"
After five or ten minutes more the
nurse asked him if he didn't feel better,
:" Feel better !'' echoed the old man,
" how can dying man feel better
Do you suppose I'd be fooling around
here if / wasn't going to expire ?"
The man sat down, and Uncle Heb |
continued
GAS soon as I go up the spout one of |
'ou go to the Poormaster and say /: |
Mr.. Willard. old Heb is dead send a |
feller down and plant him. That will |
be as good as a speech two hours long.
I'm sorry was took sick here, but it |
wasn't my fault. You may go now"
The man went out, thinking Uncle |
Heb out of his mind, and sat down and |
played dominoes for an hour. Hearing |
no movement in the back room he
opened the door.
The old man was dead !-Detro3
Free Press.