The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-06-10
MAn Endless.belt YeIocipede."

We went down to see the endiesS-belt
velocipede last evening. Abel Turner
got it patented some time ago, and since
then he has been inoessantly sending.N rs
Invitations to come down and see it. he
wanted it puffed. He wanted it pub.
conveyance had. been invented which
put walking in the shade, and made a
sad wreck of horseback riding. He
wanted US to come down and try 1t for
| ourselves.
AS for ease, he said, it exceeded par
| lor sofas, and wayside inns, as for COM
fort, 1t beat "Solid" himself, and re-
specting its rapidity, he had got the
impression that jack-rabbits and chain
lightning were nowhere. We went down.
There are periods in the life Of every
man when he is bound to 60 down. We
found him in his back yard, fooling
ssy.wrencs ssSur 5 and pot s Of wagon n 9 greese. @
He wished US to get on, but we heard
the still small voice telling us to stay off.
s.Try 1t, just for fun" said Abel. ''No,
I think we can find plenty OF enjoyment
in the usual duties OF hte," we re-
marked.
around few times and make the dust
fly s'' he inquired. We nodded perfect
willingness to see It 60 round and watch
the dust fly, and in nodding, took back
| seat for safety, Mr.. Abel Turner, Mrs.
Abel Turner and three children make up
their family. Abel was mounted on q
newly-invented machine, that he pro-
foundly believed had millions in it. Mrs.
Turner and her children gathered them.
selves together OF the back door. We
assembled the line fence, which was al
ready occupied by two OF the Tine
| shifter's boys, and thus the circus began.
Turner started down the garden-path.
/ When hallway he shot OF at right angles
crossing Madame Turners foWer-bed
and uprooting century plant. A feeblys
stifled yell from the back door told that
human suffering wac near. Sill Abel,
fully impressed with the fact that then
OF never he must prove 70 the world the
power and virtue of his invention, kept
on. An infant pear tree, struggling
against the evil influences Of back
ward spring, next bowed its head and
was laid shattered wreck upon the
ground.
Still the crank turned and the wheels
lrsyolyed and u shs vehicle tbre Arnnna 4,
Inc man y. Kenius, beneymg that sue
short curves and bold dashes, lost his
hat. q piece OF his pants, a part OF his
coat. ali Of one boot and several square
inches Of skin, but he couldn't mind it.
He is an enthusiast, and when he
smashed the stern of the wheelbarrow
and knocked the north corner of the hot.
house forty ways from Sarah Jane, he
cried out, thrust In God, and keep your
courage dry. Git out Of the tall grass.
january. Git out ana GIT up and git!"
The flower bed was gradually uproot.
ed. George Washington couldn't have
done more injury to the fruit trees with
a score Of hatchets,. even In the pa!fniest
days Of his boyhood. Mrs. Turner
she did when she tried to scar and dis
figure Abel with a dustpan Of hot Goals.
The children might have done better BY
keeping their mouths shut. The two
boys on the fence ought to have beer
kicked knee deep into the Jordan FOL
yelling to the old man that shis whee
as loose" for he said he knew better
and TO prove 1T just made the Drank buzz
to such an extent that the wheels forgo
to stop, and the next minute, following
the one that preceded 1t, the "Endfess
belt Yelocipede," burdened with it's ere
lator and emBeliisher, struck the post w
were holding down, knocking us GROSS
tways of Tineshifters clOthes-line, whlcl
gently dropped us into the mouth of hi
ldog Kennel, which, we regret to say, wal
occupied.
i We went back to forgive and forge
Turner, and show him how easy it wa.
for dog to ruin new suit Of clothel
without entirely eating the man up, bu
we forgot our mission when we fount
the inventor lying sprawled on his bacl
with six teeth knocked into his stomach
. his nose gone, and his wonderful inyen
tion scattered to the four winds o
heaven.
II lie skillful Inventions rapid, roll
ing, rushing, raging affair, but not jus
puhed, but we haven't the room, time
, courage, or meanness.