Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1875-04-30

y summer bOarding-place, at which city
people should find all the comforts and
| conveniences they wish, has never yet been
established, but 1t will be seen by the fol-
lowing advertisement thatnan effort has
been made in that direct
THE syITEM gTPE EAr Hogsa !. US ~,
SAPoNACEoCs.S .SRRINGs, n. Y.
This hotel has been bull aHd arranged
for the special comfort and oonvenience OF
summer boarders. On afrlfHeeach guest
will be asked how he like "a situation,
| and if he says the hotel otfgfft to have been
placed up upon the knoll or farther down
| toward the village, the location of the
house will be Immediately changed.
Corner front rooms up only one flight for
every guest.
Baths, gas, water.closet, hot and cold
water, laundry, telegraph, restaurant, fire.
alarm, bar room, billiard table, daily pa
per, coupe, sewing machine, grand piano,
a clergyman and all other modern con-
veniences in every room. Meals every
minute if desired, and consequently no
second table. English, French and Ger
man dictionaries furnished every guest to
make up such a bill of fare as he may de-
sire without regard to the bill affair after
ward at the office. Walters of any nation
ality and color desired. Every waiter
furnished with a libretto, button-hole
bouquet, full-dress suits, ball tablets and
his hair parted in the middle. Every
guest will have the best seat in the dining
hall and the best waiter in the house.
Any guest not getting his breakfast red
hot, or experiencing a delay of sixteen
seconds after giving his order for dinner,
will please mention the fact at the office,
and the cook and walters will be blown
| from the mouths of cannon in front of the
hotel at once. Children will be welcomed
with delight, and are requested to bring
| hoop sticks and hawkeyes to bang the
carved rosewood furniture especially pro-
vided for that purpose, and peg tops to
spin on the velvet carpets; they will be al
lowed to bang on the pianos at all hours,
yell in the halls, slide down the banisters
fall down stairs, carry away dessert enough
for small family in their pockets al
dinner, and make themselves as disagree.
able as the fondest mother can desire
Washing allowed in rooms, and ladies
| giving an order to put me on a fiatiron''
will be put on one at any hour of the day
or night. A discreet waiter who belongs
to the Masons, Odd Fellows and knights
of Pythias, and who was never known tC
even tell the time of the day, has been EN-
ployed to carry milk punches and ho
toddies TO ladies rooms in the evening.
Every lady will be considered the belle
of the house, and row boys'will answer
the belle promptly. Should any row boy
fall to appear at a guests door with
pitcher OF ice-water, more towels, gir
cocktail, and pen, ink and paper befor,
the guests hand has left the bell knob, h,
will be branded " 'front.' on the forehead
and Imprisoned for life.
The o1ice-clerk has been carefully Sc
lected 10 please everybody, and can leaC
in prayer play draw poker, mattel
worsteds at the village store, shake for tn
drinks at any hour, day or night. pla,
billiards, is good waltzer, and can dane,
the German, make fourth at euchre
amuse children, is good Judge of horses
as a railway and steamboat reference i
far superior to Appleton's or anybod,
else's guide, will tlirt with any younj
lady and not mind being cut dead whel
Pa comes down" Can room forty pee
pie in the best room in the house whel
the hotel is full, attend to the annunciato
and answer questions in Greek, Hebrew
Choctaw, Irish or any other polite Ian
guage at the same moment without turn
ing hair
Dogs allowed in any room in the house
including the w(h)ine-room. Gentleme
can drink, smoke, swear, chew, gamble
stare at the new arrivals and indulge il
any other innocent amusements commoI
to watering places in any part of the hotel
The landlord will always be happy B
hear that some other hotel is 1.-The bes
house in the country" Special attentio
given 70 parties who can give information
as TO how these things are done i
) Yewrup,"
The proprietor will take II as a persona
aifront If any guest on leaving should fai
TO dispute his bill, tell him that he is
swindler, his house barn. his tabl
wretched, his wines vile, and that he, th
Gaeet, " was never so imposed upon in hi
4 Wa will neKfr stop there again and mean
11H ~ fispds. ."-BOston CommeretC