Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-07-16
FEMININE GOSSIP.

lady who was urging some friends to
dinner felt disgusted when her S-year-old
son came in and said "Mrs. Jones says she
can't spare no bread, and Mrs. Fox amt at
home, 50 l din't get any butter" The
friends thought they had better dine else
where, and the lady thought so too /; but she
taught that boy that the way of the trans
gressor was hard.
'Golng to leave, Mary ~ "Yes, mum !;
| find | am very disconnected. "If there
is anything can do to make you more COM
Portable, let me know" "No, mum, it's
impossible. You can't alter your fgger no
more'n | can. Your dresses won't fit me.
and | can't appear on Sundays as used to
at my last place, where missus' clothes fitted
'zactly."
"Oh, yes gimme 10 cents worth of ha r
pins added farmer as he was about to
leave store and, while they were being
handed down, he continued ''It's ha 'r-pins
to-day, and ribbons tomorrow, and tooth
brush the next day. The gal is always want
ing some flim-flam thing, and shouldn't be
surprised if she'd some day get up and want
me to bring home one of them combs with
brass back.
While Captain Harper was engaged in his
census-taklng duties yesterday, lady, on
whom he called, asked permission TO look at
his book. The captain, who is noted for his
courtesy, consented, and, after glancing over
its pages, the lady said Now. look here,
YOU can't fool me that way; 'cording to this
book there amt a woman in the town over
forty years old. You have got a dozen wo-
men down here as being from thirty-ivc to
forty years of age, and III take my solemn
oath that ! knew every one of EN- ten years
ago, and they was all the same age then as
they he now. Young man. there must be
some mistake, probably you amt good al
fggers. lou can put me down at forty-fye
amt ashamed to tell my age The cap
tain put her down at forty-fve but he says
he Il bet all his money that she is over six
ty--Auqm (Nerada) RerdHe
\ young lady in Indianapolis sought to
impart the hue of health to her cheeks the
other evening when dressing for party,
and found the requisite bloom in the color
ing matter of some cinnamon candy. Dur
Ing the evening her cheeks became very
much swollen, and the poison soon after
communicated itself to her eyes. She is now
quite blind, and there seems to be little hope
that she will ever regain her eyesight.
An Ohio girl got up the other morning to
battle her face in the liquid dew, and cut off
one of her fingers on an old scythe hidden III
the grass. There's always some drawbacks
10 sentiment.
At camp-meeting last summer. vener-
able sister began the hymn
ny soul he o. thy guard
Ten thousands foe. arise"
She began in shrill quayers, but it was
pitched too high Ten Thousands" she
sereeched, and stopped. start her at s.,
coo =" cried converted stock broker pres
ent.
At an auction Of household goods on Ilar-
ri>ou avenue, yesterday. when a woman had
made bid on an old bureau worth about
-, boy slipped around to another woman
and whispered gu see that woman over
there with blue bow on ?' YES.
well, she says that no woman with red
nose can buy anything at this sale - The
woman with the red nose pusLed her way
into the crowd and run the price o. the
bureau up to Sl2, and a. it was Knocked
down to her she remarked Il may have a
red nose, but no croSs-eyed woman with
blue bow On can bluff me !''-DaroH +. &C
J4r.re