Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1875-03-27
Grasshoppers In HIs stomach.

He was from Nebraska. He had
eaten nothing but grasshoppers ssinca
the 4th Of July, 1874. and his stomach
was in an awful conditions was full
of grasshoppers He could feel them
jumping about and trying to kick their
way out, but their toe-nails scratched
his alimentary canal, and a spasmodic
contraction of the muscles of the tho
rax forced them back into the cavity be-.
fore they reached the root Of his tongue,
lie had left Il wife and nine famished
children at home, and had come to st,
Louis to eollsctfund to save his neigh
bors from starvation. He had not been
suecessful-perhaps because his ~ere-
dentIals' were not strong enough,
And now if the bar-keeper would ac.
commodate him with a spoonful of
whiskey-it was the only thing that
would keep the grasshoppers quiet in
his stomach ; it kinder stupeied them,
and caused them to lie dormant for
several hours, but as soon as they So
bered up they became as Lively as
crickets, and played leap-frog In the Dit
of his stomach. He had killed good
many of them with whiskey, but their
eggs were all the time Matching, and
he believed there were at least 10000
live ones occupying the space designed
by nature for the laboratory of bread
and meat and such things. he had no
money, but if the barkeeper would
trust him for few drops of crowfoct,
he would remunerate him out of his
first collections for the sufferers. By
adding little peppermint and a few
grains of sugar to the liquor, the med
lcine would be made more potent; or
II there was no peppermint convenient,
a drop of ginger would do as we'll
The barkeeper deeply sympathized
with the grasshopper- stricken people
of Nebraska. He pitied any man who
had grasshoppers in his stomach. IF
whiskey and peppermint and ginger, or
anything else his bar afforded, would
relieve him, he was welcome to par
take. He could not accept thanks for
so small favor; was only sorry he
didn't have whiskey and peppermint
enough to destroy all the grasshoppers
in Nebraska.
The barkeeper poured two table,
spoonfuls Of the essence of Jamaica
ginger into tumbler, added an equal
quantity of peppersauee, shook In
thimbleful OF cayenne pepper, emptied
a small vial of sulphurie acid on top
and then sprinkled few drops of tan
glefoot over the mixture, and, handing
the tumbler to the Nebraskian, told
him to swallow itquiek." The grass
stranger waited for no
second invitation, but poured the de-
eoetion down his throat at one full
swallow.
How do you like it?' asked the
barkeeper.
The grasshoppered individual made
no reply His eyes rolled in their
sockets, and the tears ran out of them
u streams. His mouth was open wide
enough TO swallow the barkeCper and
Ill his decanters. He placed both
hands on his stomach and cast an i'm
Dloring glance toward the water-pitch-
II, 80,
DO you feel 'em erawl?" asked the
in the anxious tones of
'iek nurse.
The stranger made no reply, but con-
inued to press his stomach and water
he floor with his tears.
lake some OF THIS morse TaulSn,
aid the barkeeper; 1T will do you
,ood."
The stranger made no reply, but
gradually his mouth grew smaller, and
lis lips contracted, and the air rushed
nto his throat with a whistling sound,
ike the winter wind through broken
window pane. At length the barkeep-
II took compassion upon his writhing
and gave him a glass Of ice
water to cool his throat. When the
stranger was able to speak he looked
-eproachfully at the medicine Iean,'
md said:
See here, stranger, if that's the
Kind Of stuff you give man for grass
loppers, ID like to know what in
'ou' d give fellow if he had tape
worm ?''-S. Louis Democrat