The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-10-14
Wit and HumOr.

Wit and HumOr.
UNnAID eggs are uncertain chickens.
To KILL girl safely-Cut her to
death.
ANY two apples are alike if they are
pared.
SHE'LL of the -Gunboat ammu-
milton.
EYES have they, yet they see not
Needles.
IT makes man and mars woman to
be talked about.
A MAN who is always in stew gene
rally goes to pot.
II is better to follow mans advice
than his example.
WHEN is a steamboat sick? Why,
when it gets coaled, to be sure.
WHY don't Sweden have to send
abroad for cattle9 Because she keeps
her Stock holm.
The railway passenger who puta clock
under his seat for safe keeping, says he
went through on time.
WAITER" Can l get anything for
you, Miss - Miss Sc Els, please A
glass Of bangy water"
81 AM a broken man." said a poet
$50 I should think" was the answer,
" for I have seen your pieces"
WHY should you be justified in pick
ing the pockets of vendor of engrav-
ings? Because he has pictures.
MARY had little lamp
Twas filed with kerosene
And Mary down the chimney blew,
And left this earthly scene.
Gone to meet her father who drew his gun to him
by the muzzle.
dead men pay no bills" is what an old
doctor said to couple of young scions
just entering into practice.
A NEW song is entitled, "What to
Sing" The composer who will get out
a companion piece to this, entitled,
Something Brief" may do the State
some service.
AS THE evil days draw nigh the situa-
ton is about as follows:
Mother, may go out to battle 2"
ST do not think you orter;
That dress OF yourn s pulled too far back,
My dorter, oh, my dorter"
All, well, Mrs. Jenkins, them as lives
longest sees most but as often says to
my old man, says [, a kind word's an
easy obligation, and goes a great deal
further than hobnailed boot or quart
pot, says ]. London FIN.
A LITTLE boy who was nearly starved
by stingy uncle with whom he lived,
meeting lank greyhound, one day in the
street, was asked by his guardian what
made the dog SO thin. After rejecting,
the little fellow replied, :" I suppose he
lives with his uncle"
MARRIED-At Red Cloud Agency,
Neb., on Sept. Is, 1875, by Rev. Ameri-
can Horse, Mr.. Blue Lion to Miss Little
Wound.
Blue Lions taken to himself squaw
To cook his meat so rare;
Before he always took it raw.
And messed with Roaring Bear.
A TRAMP called at house in Norwich
the other day, and after being fed, asked
If the man of the house was at home.
No." replied she who served him,
but I'll let you know mighty
quick that the woman of the house is at
home, and, taking down an old sword,
she started for him. He took to his
heels.
A RETURNED Enoch Arden was tearing
around and railing at Christian COM
munity that would allow O woman to
starve nearly 20 death in the absence of
her husband The trath is, he left her
in the days of hoop-skirts looking like
this O, and on his return found her
pinned back and looking like this I.
The impression that she had starved was
natural.
MoUsING around for an item, the New
Haven Conn., Union scratches off the
following GA cat was discovered in
one of our churches last Sunday, during
service, walking up and down the aisles,
and occasionally pawsing to listen to the
discourse, without any apparent concern.
Whether she went there to prey or to
learn the catechism, or because she was
fond of the mewsic, we are unable to
say. Most likely it was for one of these
purposes.
The James Brothers as Horse Jockeys.
A strange story, well authenticated,
comes to us concerning the late EXPOSE
ton. 1t is all about the famous Clay
county trotter, White Stockings, which
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