The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-05-07

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You are aware that the. Agricultural
Department at Washington is In the habit
of distributing seeds 10 those tillers OF the
soil who happen 10 want them. Last
spring my Congressman sent me large
package of choice escorted garden seeds,
brought by the Department from Calf
fornia. There We're more than | wanted,
so gave a lot of sugar beet and onion
seed 10 Cooley. my next door neighbor on
the right and some turnip and nddish
seeds 10 Putnam, myneighbor on the left.
Then planted the rest--turnip, cabbage,
celery and beet seed-in my own garden.
When the plants began 10 come up !
thought they looked Kind ofquecr, but
waited until taey grew larger, and then.
as felt certain something was wrong.
sent for professional gardener, rs ldon't
know muci. about such things myself.
80 Mr.. Hoops.- | said, "cast your eve
ever those turnips and tell ME what yoa
think Is the matter with them.'
"Turnipw exclaimed Hoops. "Turnip,
Why. bless your SOUL man, that's not
turnip. That's nothin but pokeberry.
You've got enough pokeberry in that bed
to last million years"
swell, Mr.. Hoops, come over here TO
this bed. Now how does that celery
strike you? The muniicent Federal
Government is spreading that celery all
over this land OF the free. Great,
isn'titg'
"Well. well - said Hoops, = and they
showed that off on YOU Tor celery. did
they? Too bad It's nothing on earth
but pokcberry. That is the California
kind. The deadliest pokeberry that ever
was invented
!. Are you sure you're not mistaken,
Mr.. Hoopsg But you haven't seen my
beets there in the adjoining bed. The
seed of those beets were sent from Homo
lulu by our consul there. He reports
that the variety attain gigantic size"
Really, now,n said Hoops. IL don't
want to hurt YOUR feelings. but to be fair
and square with you, as between man and
man. them's no beets, you know. Them's
the Mexican pokeberry. pledge you my
word its the awfulest variety of that plant
that grows. tn stay in this yer garden
forever. You'll never get rid of It,.
This seems little rough, Mr.. Hoops,
but ia like You to inspect my cabbages.
They're all right, know. The Commits
sioner of Agriculture got the set from
Borneo. They are the curly variety, |
think. You boil them with pork, and they
cut down beautifully for slaw. Look at
those plants, will you? Amt they SPLEEN
did,"
MIR. Adeler,' said Hoops. .'i've got
some bad news TO break 10 you. but hope
you'll stand il like a man. These afiiic-
tons come to all OF US in this life. sir.
They are meant for our good. But, real
] ly, sir. there's no Borneo cabbages, Cab
bages Why, thunder and lightning
them's merely mixture OF California and
Mexican pokeberry, with the ordinary
kind. and little Usage orange sprinkled
through. It's awful, sir, Why, you've
got about two acres of pokeberry and not
! a blessed bit OF cabbage or turnips among
I them"
"Mr. Hoops, this is terrible news. And
4 do YOU know gave lot of those seeds 10
Cooley and Pitman ~
II know you did, and | seen Mr.. Coo
/ ley this mornin' with "A shotgun, goin'
round askin people II they knew where
he could find you"
Find me. what do you mean"
"Well. you see, sir. that there onion
seed that you gave him was really the seed
of the silver maple tree, and it's grewed
up so thick all over his garden that cat
can't crawl through il. There's about
forty million shoots and suckers in that
garden, and they'll have TO be cut out
with a hand saw. It'll take a year TO do
| it,"
"You appall me, Hoops!"
"And that's not the worst of IL.
Them roots Is so matted and interlocked
Jest beneath the surface, that you can't
make any impression on 'em with pick
ak. That garden OF Cooley's Is ruined,
entirely ruined, sir. You might blast
them roots with gunpowder and II
wouldn't make no difference. And them
suckers will grow faster than they're cut
down. He'll have to sell the property,
SIR"
"And the Commissioner Of Agriculture
said that was onion seed! Why didn't
Cooley hunt him with a shot-guns"
"Yes, sir, and Judge Pitman's got
pokeberry and silver maple GROWN all
over his place. too. and he's as mad as
well, you just ought To hear him snortin'
around town. He'll kill somebody, I'm
afeard.'
subsequently settled with Cooley and
Pitman but oughtn't something TO be
done with that Agricultural Department
IL will break up farming in this country
ii il Is allowed 10 continue.-Mdr Adetcr.
Cleaning the Cellar.