Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-10-15
New Series, Vol. 2, No. "a.
told Series, Vol. 36. No. 21.

kitten in a sort Of basket cradle, with rs
freshments set 'em in case they should b
} hungry in the night. 3a4 qeii
Everybody isn't so careful of childreI
She had white, quilted covers for th
two animals. 1t was peculiar, and sh
was curious in good many things. O
She wasn't very handsome, but she wa
ofa very good family, and though sb
wanted extras. she paid for 'enr Ireuern
Der asking her once why she hadn't mar
ried, and she said she always felt that tn
male sex was beneath her, and that sh
couidn,t promise to obey any of 'em. Sh,
asked me ifI didn't feel to dispise ,em my
self, and ] said some of 'em / did, ant
some again l didn't a.et
She had written lecture, think, fol
the purpose of putting them down and shs
was going to deliver it in my 1parlor one
night only | says to her, says I, Miss
Swiffes,' Pm only poor widow, depend
ing on my boaders for living, and as most
OF 'em are of the male sex it might give 'em
ofiense to tell 'em all them dreadful things
about themselves, and how you despised
'em so, Miss Swiffies.' So she gave up the
idea and I was thankful.
Well, after Mr. Dinkie came, 1 noticed
Miss Swifiies aud lie used to urgue together
a good deal. Sometimes, too. he used 10
see her to church and to lectures. I had
my eyes about me, and no.iced she used
to dress herself up very smart Indeed after
be came.
Then he came and asked me how much
reckoned she had year. And she asksd
what calculated he owned. L told him
that I'd heard she had ten thousand pounds
and told her what be bad and how be
got 1t. l couldn't tell what she thought,
but l made up my mind there'd be match
between 'em, for l have always noticed
the more lady talks against gentleman,
the more apt she is to have the first one
that makes her an offer. Yes, I'd made
up my miud that way when, ono day, j
was sitting on the porch outside the back
parior window, stoning cherries-for if the
girl does it she puts more in her mouth
than she does in the pan-when heard
Miss Swiffies come into the parlor, and
about three minutes after, Mr.. Dinkie he
came in.
I'd like to remark, just here, that far
from me being listening, I'm avow it; but
wasn't called upon to go away, and l
couldn't help hearing, and this is what l
heard
Miss Swiffies, said Mr.. Dinkie, 4 am
rejoiced to find you alone
'Ah y said Miss Swiffies
Il have long wished for such an opportu.
nity.'
Indeed said Miss Swiffles.
You can guess why p asked Mr.. Dinkie.
No, sir, can't answered Miss Swiffles
In this the coquetry of your sex p asked
Mr.. Dinkie. Have you not seen that 1
adore you p
NO. said Miss SWllf1eS.
L have hidden my emotions better than
supposed could said Mr.. Diukie.
MY dear Miss Swiffles, here on my knees,
allow me to offer You my band and heart,
and beg you to accep; them and the life
and devotion-of.'
Get up, Mr.. Dinkie, said Miss Swifles.
Don't make a goose Of yourself. I UNDER
stand that you ask me to marry you
Adorable creature said Mr.. Dinkie,
you put the question would have asked
into the most concise form.'
IN put the answer into the same form, ,
said Mice Swifles-.No.,
You cannot expect me to relinquish my
hopes at once,' said Mr.. Dinkie. May 1
ask why you are not disposed to consider
my proposition q? win you not consider it,
and answer it more at leisure p
Il have considered said Miss Swiffles.
But why p said Mr.. Dink!e.
We'll, ifyou want to know Why said
Miss Swiffles, because like to be my own
mistress. have plenty of money, as you
know, aud three charming pets, who are
worth more than any six men ever met.
l didn't marry when l was good looking
girl, because even then I couldn't be sure
any man wanted me and not my property !;
and now am an ugly old woman, Ishant
throw myself into the arms Of the first for
tune hunter who has calculated that an
old maid will marry any one who asks her.
You waited for dead mems shoes twenty
years, / understand. Now, probable, you
wish to wait for mine That's why say
No. Mr.. Dinkie.'
Next thing heard was the door slam.
Mr.. Dinkie was gone, and Miss Swifiles
was laughing to herself on the sofa. 1
couldn't help it. just peeped into the
window and saysI:
'Hurrah Miss Swifiies, three cheers
was as good as play --.,.
'Tisn't tho first man I've served so,'
said Miss Swiffles, rubbing her nose. %,
they are meau set, these men, and away
she walked, with her diamonds glitter
ing.
We didn't see much Of Mr.. Dinkie for
some days, and then he said he was going
abroad with an invalid gentleman.
So, of course, 1 knew l was going to lose
q boarder. But was surprised when, one
afternoon, received this note
NY Dear Madam: Upon the eve OF my
departure upon journey whence l may
never return, l desire to feel myself in har-
mony with all whom have had any slight
difference. Therefore, you will permit me
to give little supper to several members
of your establishment You yourself, of
course, Miss Swiffles, Mr.. Rogers and a
friend of my own who will join US. Time,
to morrow evening. An answer will
oblige, Truly yours.
BENJAAIIN DINKIE.'
Of course agreed, and wien Isaw Miss
Swiffies she said the man had a better tenn
per than she thought. And 80 that very
.xIr,