The Grange advance., 1875-12-15

sort of way unlimbers IT
terry. sYoung man, = a dst
me-" she begins, ''but you
look kind o benevolent, and l think you
would help poor woman if you though,
she really needed it. Now arm not beg
ging for myself. No, thank God, I dc
not need it; am widow, it is true
with a large family, and must work for a
living. but so long as I have these stout
arms holding up mastery pair for
your admiration) neither nor my chill.
dren will ever want for anything. But
here is Mrs. Quigley, my neighbor, poor
thing, land here she takes occasion to
wipe away tear.) poor thing; she has
been sick these three months. [ have
myself paid one month of her rent, and
so long as she could work she held on,
out now her baby lies dead in her room,
and she hasn't a penny, except what little
change 1 could spare, with which to
bury it. She isn't used to begging,
as you can see; she wouldn't 60 out at
first, and she wouldn't go out by herself
at all, but says to her, Mrs. Quigley, I
amt used to begging, either, but I'll 60
out with you, and I know we'll meet some
kind-hearted gentleman, like yourself,
that will aid us to get, if no more, a lit.
tie coffin for the poor little thing.'''
Who can say that this scheme is not
we'll concocted. 1t works admirably. 1t
| draws as nothing ever drew before, and if
you are not posted you will 60 down into
your treasury with alacrity. Few can
resist this dodge, and the most hard
hearted are ''taken in'' with it. 1t is
doubtful if EVERY old Scrooge could have
withstood such an appeal, supposing it to
be genuine.
It was only few days ago that the
writer came upon a couple playing it, and
although he knew for dead certainty
that it was put-up job, still the thing
| was done so we'll, there was such
GENUINE PATHos,
and such flow Of tears, and such pulling
by the sad-eyed one of the other one S
dress, saying, with sobs, "Oh don't, let
go away, can't have you do this, it is
too much, too much,'' and the benevo.
lent one chided her in motherly strain
for not having little pluck in such an
emergency that dcponent could with
difficulty bring himself to reveal to them
that the dodge was getting trife rusty
with him. But no sooner did he venture
to hint that he saw through the thinness
of it than the mask was removed, and
another Mother Frochard stood revealed,
and the sarcasms Of which she delivered
herself were actually withering.
''Oh, you see through this game, do
you? You're smart one, amt you
Been played on you before, has it! Nice
young man you are to talk so when
when-bah, you're d-n snipe, that S
what you are. and be hanged to you.
Come along, Mag, ''-and off they went.
While the foregoing have been cited as
specimens Of the inventive genius of this
class, it is equally curious to note what
an utter lack of invention few display,
in accordance with the old adage that ali
rules have their exceptions. There is one
old ''vas" that has been
MAKING THE ROUNDS
these many years, who has ever the same
plea that he; wants to 60 to his son, who
lives matter sof 70 miles in the country;
that the fare is 50. 90. and that he needs
IS cents to make up the required amount,
and all he asks is five cents to help his
| weary bones along. Never does that son
live beyond the prescribed distance; nev.
er does the fare change; but more re-
markably still, never, during all these
weary years Of toll, has he been able to
reduce the amount required, even by a
single penny Evidently some dire fa-
tality hangs over this poor old
man, calculates many thrifty house
wife, as for the seventeenth time she lis.
| tens so his story, in the vain. hope that
! either through i'll or good fortune, some
slight change has come over his financial
status. And TO prove to you that he
does need the IS cents, he ever holds the
$l.55 in dirty ,shinplasters in his trem-
bling hands, which reminds one of the
old apple-wornan's answer in the play of
the "Seven Sisters" when some irrever-
ent chap ventures to suggest that 25
cents apiece is too much for apples. ''Too
much is it, bad luck TO you: I paid $65
barrel for these apples, and if you
don't believe it l can show you the
BARREL:
LAUGHING CH1LDREN.-Give me tho boy
or girl who smiles as soon as the first
rays of the morning sun glance in
through the window, gay, happy andkind:
Such boy will be fit to "make, up
into man-at least, when contrasted
with the sullen, morose, Grabbed fellow,
who snaps and snarls like a surely cur,
or who growls and grunts like hyena
from the moment he opens his angry