The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-08-06
SAYINGS AND DOINGs,


Milking the cow2
| RingdOves COO again,
| All things WOO again,
J Come behind aud kiss me milking the COW
THREE children, who were prostrated
! by n stroke of lightning in Georgia, that
had first struck tree, all had perfect
photographs of the tree imprinted on
their persons.
A DYsPEPrIc at the Virginia sulphur
springs hung himself the other day,
leaving a note behind which read "It's
mighty good joke on dyspepsia !"
And so it was.
A TRAVELLER among the summer wa
tering places says that the young men
spend more money than the millionaires.
They pay fifty cents a drink at the hotel
bar-rooms, order wine for dinner, hire
carriages, eat soft shell crabs, and after
few days 60 home dead broke.
BULwER, in one of his early novels,
writing on love, Gays, perhaps II would
he better If we could get rid Of IL alto
gether. Life would go on smoother
and happier without it, Friendship is
the wine Of existence, but love is the
dram-drinking.'
A GENTLEMAN said To an old lady who
had brought up a family Of children
near a river, al should think you would
have lived in constant fear that some Of
them would have got drowned" ooh,
no." responded the old lady, eve only
lost three or four in that way"
NOT long ago, at a mansion on Murray
Hill, a sentimental young lady strolled
with a gentleman, 90 whom she had her
eye, into the conservatory. L1oking
up pensively into his face, she said, with
tears in her voice, "Ah, no one loves
me. Mr. Barnes ?" "Some one does !"
eyes I" said the lady, dropping hor
head, and pressing his arm ever 30 little.
eyes, AIiss Nellie" said the wretch,
"God loves you" MIR. Barnes, lets
go in I"
FINIs.-
After the heat Of tho noon-tide ray
After the cares Of tho weary day
Finished the duties and tolls Of tho day
Cometh tho end.
Into tho unknown spirit land.
Over tho river bv no ridge spanned,
Crossing alone the misty strand,
Beginning the end.
Only iluttor and gasp for breath,
Only a cross and lily wreath
Only a sleep the daisies beneath,
Not vet the end.
Cleaying tho sky with wings OF dove,
a crown OF light IN tho realms abnNet
A dwelling forever whore God IL love,
This ~ the blissful end.
Sixty miles 10 the north of Duluth
"the zenith city of the unsalted seas,
an iron mountain has been discovered
which rivals its namesake in Missouri.
II is eight miles long, one and half
miles wide, and 200 feet above the
level of Lake Superior.
THE Chicago balloon reporter always
begins like this "The monster ship,
freighted with its living cargo, shot
inward into the boundless vacuity OF
aerial space" Merely saying that
"the balloon went mp pretty fast,
would be playing into the hands OF the
other papers.
The Two SQumREs.-
There were two squirrels
That lived iu wood
The one was naughty.
The other was good.
The naughty ones name was Dandy Jim,
His mother was very fond of linn
The good ones name was johnny Black,
lie had beautiful fur upon his back
Aud he never went near tho railroad track
But Dandy jim,
Alas for him
lie ran away,
Ono summer dAv.
Over the bills ana lHr away
And his mother sought Tor him FAR aud noar,
But mover n word Of Jim could sho hoari
For crossing the track,
The railroad cars ran over him,
And that was the end Of Dandy Jim.
But Johnny Black
lie always camo back
Whenever lac went FROM home away,
He knew that home was the place to stay,
lie minded his mother whcrc'cr he might bo,
Ho thought that his mother knew better than
he.
JOHN PAuL's hotel experience "Cau
| have a room ?" ! modestly ask after
registering my name. Clerk looks at
me moment, takes in the general
unostentatiousress of my apparel at
glance, turns away and attends 30 the
swells who get credit Of Bell instead Of
buying for cash Of Porter, chats with
the young men whom he knows for
few minutes, pauses 10 tell some old
gentleman with a bald head the last
brilliant bon mot apropos Of the Beech
er trial, and when everybody else N
roomed and he has settled the pen
right behind his car, then he calls the
smallest bell-boy in the Office ind turns
60 me with, "Show this gentleman up
Co gg3 !" Aud 10y this time feel 40
humble about it that bow 30 the bell
wonder how I'm 90 find No. 1913 10 show
him 10.
THRRE is a story related OF Jarvis, the
distinguished painter, TO the effect that,
walking down Broadway one day, no
saw before him u dark looking foreigner
bearing under his arm n small red cedar
cgar-box. He stepped Immediately
into his "wake," and whenever he met
a friend (Which was once IN two or three
minutes. for the popular artist knew
everybody, he would beckon 10 him
with n wink 90 "fall into line" behind.
By and by the man turned down one OF
the cross streets, followed close 10y
Jarvis and his "tail." Attracted 10y
the measured tread Of 8, many feet, he
turned round abruptly, and, seeing the
procession that followed in his foot
steps, he exclaimed what Tor do
debbil is dis What for you take me
eh? What for you 30 much come alter
me. eh2" "Sir," exclaimed Jarvis, with
an air of profound respect, eve saw
Won going 10 the grave alone with the
body of your dead infant. and we took
the opportunity 60 offer You oar
sympathy, and 20 follow your babe 10
the tomb" The man explained, in bis
broken manner, that tho box contained
only cigars, and he ovinced his graft
tude for the interest which had been
in his behalf, by breaking
it open and dispensing them very libor-
ally 10 the mourners.
|
Women in India.
According to the Hindoo law.giver,
woman has no god on earth but her
husband, and no religion except to
crafty, obey and serve him. Let her
husband be crooked, old, inGrm, ofIen-
siye let him be irascible, irregular,