The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-11-13
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
PUr HIM on IcE-A Coyington man died an
they put him on ice, bat he woke in the night an
yelled ont f" Why don't you put some wood il
that stove -
a MUsT BE- John, wish you'd close tha
door," said an irritable father to his son. ' You
mother must be scolding somebody at the othe
end Of the hall, there's such draft in that guar
ter
A man who can take the place which God puu
him IN, and stick to it and fight it through, anC
stand man every inch, has, think, waiting an
estate OF glory such as has not been known in
this world.
There have been many definitions Of gentle
man, but the prettiest and most pathetic Ia tha
given by a young lady. 80 4 gentleman, ~ says
she, '' is human being combining a woman 4
tenderness with mans courage."
The FIRsT.-COpy was out. The devil picked
UP q paper and said, 90 Heres something sabout
woman'-must I cut it out?''' NoI" thun-
dered the editor the first disturbance crea-
ted in the world occasioned by the devil fool
ing about woman
Bill Bowline comes and he says to me,
He says to me, he says, says he,
ssWhat is the Rule Of the Road at sea ?''
1 says to him, says CHATS me),
" Whether ashore, or whether at sea,
The Rue Of the Road, folk seems to agree, -
Is to suddenly launch in eternity
Any one not quite handy to see
If the helm turned TO starboard or port should be-
AS we learn by q late catastropee ."-PsleA. e.
Papa did you see those nice little guns down
to the store?" asked little six-year-old boy.
"Ies, Harry, saw them. But have 60 many
children to feed and clothe that l cannot afford
to buy you one, replied his father, seriously.
Little Harry glanced at the baby in the cradle
with no loving expression to his face Finally,
h. "A all rar tell vrafv
do, you can swap Little Tommy for gun.''
that The Legislature OF Massachusetts, has lately
passed law making it necessary that dozen eggs
weigh one and one-half pounds" We approve of
this The hens have too long had their own way
in this business Of laying eggs, and they have con-
stantly defrauded the public. Ii is high time
this outrage was crushed, and we are glad that
the Legislature Of Massachusetts, is going TO do it.
If free American citizens are to be imposed upon
with impunity by debanehed and corrupt chickens,
the government for which William Penn fought
and John Hancock died, is disgraceful failure
Hereafter Massachusetts, hens win either have 70
lay two-onnce eggs or emigrate. The people will
submit TO their tyranny no longer. They have
borne the yolk until it has become uncomfortable.
They deDounee present prices for present eggs as
eggstortion. and in hens they demand a reform
with che determination to draw up this chicken
bill and pullet through the legislature.
George Alfred Towsend thus describes the au-
thor Of Thanatopsis,' aud the originator of
Governor Tilden for the presidency Bryant is
small, spare man, who looks as 1t he would be
eoId If you touched him with his clothes off At
the top Of his slender medium figure is q large,
steady head, covered with hair and beard of a
rather luxuriant white, streaked with yellow.
His skin is reddish. His eyes are blue, and shine
in a winter night like the heads of two handrons
when there is no fire, HIS articulation is distinct
and cold He has frightfnlly good memory,
and If YOU tell him lie he will catch you in
about a second = on compliment him therefore,
at vour peril About seventeen years ago helped
To name a literary society In Philadelphia in his
honor, and happened to mention the fact to the
old man. He drew q bead me in a moment.
He seemed TO recollect il exactly, and said ''It
still exists don't it2'' said, .' l think so,' and
I believe it does; but was afraid to say be-
lieyed so, for the old man looked at me IN such
cold autumnal way that l hardly knew how to
answer. 49, sr u ~
She was crossing the street Dressed in the
height of fashion, with skirts drawn tightly about
her form. il was with some difficulty that she
could move her limbs sufficiently to walk. When
at about the middle Of the crosswalk, she dropped
a we-flIed wallet out of her hand Then the
trouble began in earnest She stopped over in
front to pick it up bat her fingers could not reach
the wallet by at least eighteen Inches She changed
hsr parasol into her right hand. and tried TO
reach sideways for the wallet 1t was no 60 how
ever. for her fingers did not reach anywhere near
the coveted article. Then she tried to get down
on hsr knees, bot shs might as well endeasored
20 pick up q drop OF water with her ear. She
reached Backward, bat her hand only extended
downward Oh a level with her hips. She appeared
to be much embarrassed, We could almost hear
her reSret that she had not her " stoop-oyer dress
on. The wallet, no doubt, contained considerable
money. for had it been tnHing sum she would
have stepped over il and passed on. What could
she do7 No one seemed to be passing at the
Sx,oment who could assist her. All! thought
-rstrpck her suddenly luiekly turning Ler parasoi
with the top on the pound, she glided pretty
little foOt ont frousnoeneath snow-white skirts,
and with a gentlessie the wallet lay in concaye
Srerachute -Thsf owner quickly drew up the
y ergslf:. sss-tec6yered the wallet, when she inn
rrediateIy tFippsd OF with the grace and agility
of a boy trying to skate with meal sack tied !
about bis lower extremities.