Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1875-07-29
"About Ice Cream.
Detroit Free Press. ]

He slipped into an ice-cream saloon
very softly, and when the girl asked
him what he wanted he replied:
Corn, beef, fried potatoes, pickles
and mince pie.'
This is. not restaurant; this Is an Ice
cream parlor,, she raid.
Then Why did you ask me what ]
wanted for? Why didn'tyou bring on
your ice cresm?'s
She went after 1t, and as she return.
ed he continued:
You see, my dear girl, you must in.
!er-you must reason. 1t isn't likely
that ] would come into an ice-cream
didn't think ( came in here to ask il
you had any baled hay, did you?'
She looked at him in great surprise,
and he went on:
If owned a hardware store and you
came in, would infer tina: you came
for something In my line. 1 would't
step out and ask you If you wanted to
buy a mule, would I?'
She went away highly indignant.
An old lady was devouring dish of
cream at the next table, and the straug-
er, after watching her for . moment,
called cut: :s.A AZ g.
MY dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons In your dish p
Mercy! mop she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her
spoon.
well, Pm glad of it, he continued.
III you find any just let me know
She looked at him for half minute,
picked up the spoon, laid it down
again, and then rose up and left the
room. She must havesaid something
to the proprietor, for he came running
In and exclaimed:
Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice
cream"
mo, SIR
sYcu didn't?'
No, sir, did not / merely request
ed her, In case she found any such in
gradients, to inform mel
We'll, sir, that was a mean trick
Ny dear SIR said the stranger,
smiling softly, did you expect me to
ask the woman If she had found crow
bar or sEedge-hanmer in her cream?
II is impossible sir, for such articles to
be hidden away In such small dlshesp
The proprietor went away, growing,
and as the stsanger quietly supped
away at his cream two young ladies
came In, sat down near him and order
ed cream and cakes. He waited until
they had eaten little, and then he re.
marked q - $50
Beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste OF
this cream?'
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not certain.
Does ii taste TO you as If a plug of
tobacco had fallen into the freezer p he
asked. e
'Ah kah y they exclaimed, dropping
their spoons and trying to spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and
1t wasn't long before the proprietor
rushed in.
See here, what In blazes are you
talking aboutp he demanded. 'What
do you mean by plug tobacco in the
freezer,
MY kind friend, L asked the ladies
If this cream tasted of plug tobacco. /
don't taste any such taste, and don't
believe you used bit of tobacco In it!'
well, you don't want to talk that
way around herev continued the pro-
Df16UOf. Wy jC0 ClSdiL 10 pure, dDu
the man who says it isn't tells a bold
lien
He went away again, and woman
with long neck and sad face sat
down and said to the girl that she
would take small dish of lemon Ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken
about two mouthsful when the strang-
or inquired:
Excuse me, madam, but do you
know how this cream was made-have
you An idea that they grated turnip
and chalk with the cream p
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up,
wheeled around, and made for the
door. The stranger followed after, and
by great good luck his coat-tails cleared
the door an instant too soon to be
struck by q hve-pound box Of figs, hurl-
ed with great force by the indignant
AS he reached the curb
stone he halted, looked at the door of
The parlor and soliioquized:
There are times when people should
nfer, and there are times when they''