Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-04-25
WIT AND HUMOR.

" i
TIE Boston Traueler says that snoe
leather chemically considered, Is oAl'ia'
of beef.
"wurS Adam was detected in the ac'
of throwing away the core OF that ceie'
brated Michigan Gillflower, says '''
Denver Tribune.
"DoEs our constant chatter disturt
vouw asked one of three laxative ladies
Of a sober-looking fellow-passenger In
coach. "No, ma'am, Tss 90" nsarT's0
niqh on to thirty gears" was the naive TO-
ply.
An excited Waterbury workman caught
Nm a nail of water to extinguish nre In
factory. the other day, but perceiving,
that the water was hot he emptied it, filled
the pail with cold water and put out 'ne
fire.
He WAS THERE.-A lady was telling q
friend from the country of very grand
party she had given recently. I'VE nad
two generals, one judge popular author
and play-writer." eyes," chimed In her
wicked son, "and there was deputy
sheriff. too, who said he wanted to see
dad, and they went out before supper ana
dad hasn't got home yet
AN Arkansas applicant for school
teachers position being asked If ne ia.
vored corporal punishment, replied: IN OF
much, Mary Ann; but if any one OF the
chaps sass me, I'll just grub up young
white oak and wsllop him, you bet"
pREcoc1oUs boy in an uptown fam
ilv was asked which was the greater evil
of the two, hurting another's feelings or
his finger. He said the former Fright,
my dear child" said the gratified ques-
toner, "and why is it worse to hurt the
feelingsY' because you can't tie rag
around them," explained the dear child.
A GENTLEMAN walking behind two
school children the other day, heard the
boy inquire, "Will you be at the party to-
nightl'' 81 shall be there" answered the
miss, "but l may as well tell you now
that your love is hopeless. Mamma is
determined, papa is set, and it ism right
for me to encourage your attention. l
can be sister to you, but nothing more.
Therefore, you needn't buy me any more
valentines or give me any more gum"
HI, Samuel, has you moved yitl" in
quired one colored man Of another whom
he met at market recently. mo, Use in
the old place." was the answer. But
I war told that you war gwine to get
o,,k ,b ID rrbborhooJ - continued ha
first. "Wall, l did make up my mind to,
but you see the family next door, and the
family on the corner, and de family
cross the street, have left dere woodpiles
out doors, and | doesn't desire to change"
WAS WILLING TO SPARE PATTERN.
THE other day lady of this city went
to pay her respects to one of the latest
arrivals on the list of babyhood, when the
following colloquy took place between
her and little four-year old sister of the
new conner:
II have come for the baby now," said
the lady.
you can't have it." was the reply.
"But l must l came over on purpose,
urged the visitor.
"We can't spare it ALL" persisted the
child, "but I'll get piece of paper and
you can cut the pattern N. Y. Nail.
A Hen Church Episcopal Bishop in
England was very much opposed to any
one praying without book. As he was
riding out on a certain day, his horse
took fright, ran away, broke the sulky and
broke the Bishops leg. The Bishop was
in great pain and in fear of dying, and
called for some one to pray with him.
There was an honest Christian man. one
John Rodgers, who lived near, who was
sent for, and as he saw the situation of the
prelate, he was deeply affected. The bur-
den of his prayer was as follows: "See-
ing you have taken the bishop in hand,
to humble him, o, Lord make thorough
work. If breaking one leg won't an
swer, 0, Lord break t'other one, too.''