Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-10-16
OLYMPIA WASHINGTON SATURDAY MORNING. OCTOBER Is

though), Just take q razor or lancet and
lay it open TO the bone, aud cut the
core right out by the roots!' -as
I suggested veins and arteries, and
he saw at once that I hadn't any nerve.
I had no money for his mission, but on
my Offering him two dollars to help
start ghost factory here in New York
that should beat the Eddy brothers, he
took up his hat and left me and my boil
to the next tormentor, who was not
long in putting in an appearance.
The next was Turkish Bath man,
who assured me that he had a very bile
Gus turn year ago, and had sweat
them out of himself by taking six baths.
"You see," he said, GA boil must
be kept moist and warm, and that be-
| ing a known fact. why the Turkish
Bath is an intervention Of Providence
for all Job-ites the world over"
| promised to of once call on my
friend DR.. Miller in 26th-street, and
let him put me through a /" course of
sprouts" I was deferred from so do
ing, by friend in the ice business,
who told me that one of his neighbors
had tried the baths, and instead OF cur
ing him, the boils came out all over
him worse than ever. "And now"
said he, "ifyou will come down to our
ice house and just walk leisurely around
in it, keeping your blood cool for few
days, you will find that all this fsaper-
abundance of heat in your blood, which
is evinced by the boil now on your hip,
will gradually pass away, your boil will
go down and you won't have another
till you get red hot again. ...
This looked as reasonable as the bath
cure certainly, and I promised to be on
hand bright and early next morning,
and try to freeze out my boil. just as
I was starting out in the morning
hadn't limped two yards from my
house--when I was hailed by a friend,
who, when informed Of my ailment and
intentions, suddenly faced me about in
the direction of my house, saying:
"Ice be blamedl I'll cure you."
Going right into our dining-room he
asked for brown sugar and 6r0,on soap;
then helping me to hobble up stairs, he
made poultice of the soap and sugar,
and insisted on my wearing it on my
boil all day.
promised to do so faithfully, but
after he left me it began to ache pretty
hard, could not help mentioning my
feelings in the old-fashioned way, and
the noise made being heard by lady
caller on my wife, she at once said that
she could relieve me and cure me at
the same time. Sending out for Yap
onion, she said all had to do was to
slice it. up and lay it on my boil, and
it's cooling properties would relieve the
pain, while its well-known. healing
powers would effect perfect cure.
This seemed very reasonable and worth
trying, and we tried it. 'J3
Before its cooling properties" had
got fully under way, I happened to re-
member an important business engage
ment which must be attended 20, and
80 I shook off my doctor and onion at
the same time. Returning home two
hours later, q young lady friend came
to the front with five cents worth of
taar-Seed poihice which ber uncle always
used, and he never was without boils;
she was sure that Job used fax-seed
poultice. 7 said guessed not. ! was
posted on Job; all he did was to scrape
himself with piece of broken pie plate
Dob 2: y, and even when boils had
evoluted up to Isaiah's time. all they
did was to make o plaster of figs for
them. But the man who knew the
boil business by heart was near, by,
and he gave me the surest cure OF all
cold ,uaier before breakfast.
"Drink it freely, and its action on
the liver and blood is such that it will
cure you just as sure as twice seven is
fourteen" And he could cure any
thing. He was the only man that he
had ever heard of who could set brok-
en- ribs. But broken ribs are not boils.
I now determined to make an in
ventory Of all my boil-cures and mix
them together, and put on one big
plaster which would surely cure 1t at
once. But when ! came to mix cold
water and hot water, ice and steam,
fax seed and cedar berries, shoemaker's
wax and honey, onions and ointment,
Indian meal and razors, they wouldn't
mix; and there was no necessity for it,
for just then I ran against chair back,
and with one moderate sized yell, 1
found my boil had wiped itself out
Oneida Circular. '''''''