Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-12-16
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

IN Utah.
QUEEN VIcToR1A's pet horses are hand
some grays.
THE enrolled militia of California num-
hers 1882
ALAD with drop-slckle tendencies-A
lazy farm boy.
<THoU art so near and yet so fur" said
The maiden as she rugged her seal-Skin
about her.
KANSAS has 10000 sheep and $4,000
dogs. Scarcely sheep and a half for
each dog.
Now THE voice of the irate PARENTS
heard reverberating from cellar to attic:
<tShut that doorp
A MAN who must draw the line some
where-The surveyor.-Nee0 York Com
alerciaL AdgertjSer
GOOD rules won't always work both
ways. For instance, to carp at Turkey
doesn't make Turkey carpet.
THE German Empire has 800 Consuls in
foreign lands. Twenty two Of these are in
the United States.
To THE surprise of everyone but her
husband q California woman has Just
licked lion in a single combat.
THE thrifty farmers who take poultry
into Hartford, Conn, have taken to put
ting in chunks of lead before they are
weighed.
THERE is something in pronunciation,
after all. A Detroiter found it out when
he went into a grocery and inquired for
:" obIong" tea.
They cure consumption" in Reading,
Pa, by giving the patients doses of oil
made from dog fat, and feeding them on
dog-steak fried.
For fit of idleness- Count the ticking
of clock; do this for an hour, and you
will be glad to pull off your coat the next
one and go to work.
IN Boston women have so thoroughly
proved their entire fitness as school
officers that their reelection is almost
unanimously called for
WHAT makes water hard % is ques-
ton recently propounded in the Popular
Science Monthly, and every school-boY
yells: g Freezing weather!'
A ST. LOUIS "pauper" died the other
day and was buried. Then they found out
that he had taken his dust to dust with
him, to the extent Of about $500
Mr.. BUDD asked her: Rose, wilt
chou be mine?" Rose answered: 81 am
sorry it cannot be-but a rose cannot be-
come bud" Then he arose and depart
ed thence
OVER the porch OF the old South
Church, at Boston, is chiseled: Behold!
/ have set before you an open door, and
under, on the door, is painted in emphatic
letters: " Positively no admittance."
A MAIDEN once said: III not mate
With man who has not fortune great"
So she pouted and waited
And sCorned to be mated
She's a maiden yet-age forty-eight.
GUHFoRD, Vt, had shocking suicide,
the other day the victim being boy of
twelve, by the name Of Cross On com
ing home from school he babe his mates
good-by and then deliberately shot him
self
SPEAKING OF school examinations, the
editor of the San Antonio Herald says:
g We examined one of our boys, the other
day, with fine comb, end it is asking
too much fer us to say we were pleased
with the result"
ONCE in a while a man gets the starch
so thoroughly taken out of him that it's no
use trying, A few days ago prairie
schooner passed eastward through Peoria.
On its canvas cover was painted in large
letters the legend: Going back to my
wife's folks"
THE Utes at the Uncapahgre Agency
will be poorly sheltered this winter The
contractors announce that it will be i'm
possible to complete the new quarters
short OF another summer. The Indians
are not pleased with the outlook and
threaten to abandon the reservation and
winter in the towns.
A WILLIAMSBURG e. man, the father
of seventeen children, found a basket at
his baSement-doOr the other morning con
tanning a little golden haired cherub about
wv "S0hS o1u- ~ lay appended 10 me
handle of the basket bore this legend:
g You appear to be fond of children. /
amt. Please accept this one"
"SLEEPIN, Tonald?" said Highlander
10 drowsy acquaintance, who was rumi-
mating on the grass in a horizontal position
g No, Tuncan." was the ready answer.
"Then, Tonald, would you no lend me ten
shillingS?' was the next question.
Cough, oughn' was the response, with
heavy snore; I'm sleepin' moo, Tuncan,
my lad"
THE doctors do not always guess right
For example, in the case of James B.
Hulse, the President of the Middletown
On. y National Bank, who was badly
injured in runaway accident in August
last, they pronounced his recovery impos-
sIble Now, after lying in an insensirle
condition for nearly three months, he is
rapidly recovering and expects soon to be
about his business again.