, 1875-02-28
HUMOR.

A pair OF tights-Two drunkards.
How to make clean sweep-Wash him.
A pair of rubbersA washerwoman's hands.
Red hot-Ths trademark letters On Harm
stove.
Dentiat ba1lad-ssOh, who can tell the jaws We
feel 2"
The muumies belonged to the first families OF
Egypt
Lament Of the sidewalk Everybody is down
on me-
The Irish are hopeful people; they always
try to wake the dead
When is q small baby dke'z big oankerE
When he ia o wroth-chld.
Mics Clahin says the man doesn't hTe that can
bo Governor Of Tennie G.
"Ah! glorious weather this, says tho doctor;
"splendid run OF broken legs lately"
Thera il nothing so effective in bringing man
up to the scratch as healthy and hish-spinted
flea.
The attention tho Speaker OF the House
secures by the use Of hia gayel Is raped atten-
tioD.
Rad used on . railroad signifies danger, and
sers stop. It ia the saue thing displayed on
mans noso.
aft there is place for everything, " inquiries
q loubter, :. where is the place for i nou Z" On
your eneny's noso.
Yonkers Gazette: Why is store that doesn't
advertise like Enoch Arden2 Because it "Hees
no sale from day to day"
The rural correspondent who anxious1y in
nu1res concerning Sanscrit, is informed that 1t
is the language which the eaoscs'sters useo 70
talk.
The song of the Washington youth want
to bc q lobby man and in the lobby stand, with
brass upon my forehead and greenbackz in my
hand"
A Pennsylyanian boasts that he makes soap
that would - wash politicians character white
as snow.' There must be good deal OF "lys "
about that soap.
.tFor boayen,s sake, lend ms 35, said = desti-
tuta man to his friend, II have had nothing in
mr. house to eat for four days but rice" :" Rice !"
said the other, "if had known you had rice
would hare come around to dinner"
Young A1r. 6auermilch, Of Pennsylvania, ia an
applicant for cadetship at West Point. It is
melancholy to reflect that though he should de-
7elop the military genius Of Hannibal, he can
never represent the cream OF the army.
A party of men animased1y engaged in discuss
ing politics before a country store attracted the
attention W OF IN aged asriculturist. "There's
sometbin' the matter here" he observed to hia
wife: and, drawing in his team, he lightly
shouted to consumptive individual On the out
skirts whats afootf Z" "Twelve inches, vas
the 6aIu0nc reply. Auo s8eo VI t3eo11oAAos o"oAo
some and drove on.
Cruel!-snith usually shy, reserved. and
silent mani tells rather long, but otherwise en-
tertaining, etory about an orange, which meats
with great success. Brown lwhen the laughter
and applause have subsided)-'' Bravo. Smith!
Capital Old mani But, say, you told it better y;
one night at Jones', fe" months ago!
JONES' No, no! Where he told 1t best Was
that morning We ureakfasted NTH you, BroWn,
somewhere about the beginning OF the year be-
fore last!"
Mr.. B-was noted penny-s-liner. who had
written much in the Wy Of nogeette5, tia ana
acid in lis Younger days. A few years ago be
wss one day reviewing the incidents OF his
literary career vh an old fsna s4,1x Tsn M rses1sd os rs
q crcat many puts and aattering notices from
tbs e PR press" !.And that. Of eouTse," said the
friend vas ,sry g1atn} 4dn}3 xhsn aea Tt ts yog sag
that, With one exception, wrote them Ill my
salf!n