Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1875-10-09
IN ADVANCE.
NO. Al.
Items of Interest.

If all the money in the United States
were divided, every man, woman and
child would have SLIP apiece.
1t is hard to tell which will bring the
most pleasant expression into woman's
face-to tell her that her baby is heavy
or her bread light.
A Milwaukee editor has had returned
to him a book borrowed twenty-seven
years ago, and begins to have hopes of
humanity after all.
The harvest in Great Britain is over
and it is now known that 11,0OO, 600
quarters of grain will be needed from
abroad to feed the people there.
A warden in one of the English prisons
has been sent to Jail for four months for
allowing letters and provisions to be sent
to one of the prisoners in his charge.
Some of the Delaware farmers COM
plain that they have tried in vain to
make peach brandy this year, the sac
charine material being absent from the
fruit.
An Ohio man named his daughter
Proclamation Emancipation. He might
have done worse, says crusty old COM
mentator; he might have named her
Maud.
A gentleman in Howard county, Kas.,
lately presented the following bill to the
county board: Elk Co., Kas., to
Mr.. -, DR.. To services as one insane
juror, 5000.
Advertisement from a Washington
paper Wanted, a well-rested youth
in my Office. Preference given to one
who has not forgotten more than his en-
ployer knows. Address," etc.
&" Mamie" said mother to little
-year-old, eff I was little girl like
you, I would pick up all those chips"
Well, mamma !' said the little one,
amt you glad you are not a little
girl 2"
The following is the copy of letter
recently sent to gentleman in England
by an insurance agent; "Dear sir-I
hope to give you call tomorrow or
Wednesday, on my way to Chard, and
shall be delighted to take your life"
The editor of the Dubuque Times has
had the privilege of eating slice of
meat "cut from a chunk sixteen years
old" 1t was jerked buffalo, brought
from the plains in 1859. He found it as
sweet and palatable as though dried this
summer.
While tunneling into the side of
Meunt Mcclellan, Colorado, recently,
the explorers came upon ground solidly
frozen ninety feet from the surface. The
question is how the frost got in, as
there was no crevice through which it
could enter.
The British Royal Society has made
researches extending over period of
more than two hundred years, and failed
to discover q single case of sudden
change in the color of human hair.
This spoils whole pages of poems, novels
and newspaper items.
An odd thing has happened to Paris
reporter. While looking up the particu-
lars of a murder he got into the wrong
apartment, and was nearly smothered
with kisses by an emotional old pair
who mistook him for their returned son,
who had been absent twenty years.
A fine scene was lately presented on
farm in Clackamas county, Oregon. A
large separator was at work thrashing
wheat, and about it were gathered, all
at work, Mr.. Garrett Palmateer, six
stalwart sons, seven grandsons, with
grandmother Palmateer holding the
sacks.
Patience used to be represented as a
passably good-looking girl on a big
piece of sandstone. Now it is different.
A modern artist fixes patience up as
country editor sitting on an inverted
type box, wishing he had his dinner, and
waiting for delinquents to pay up their
subscriptions.
The Savannah AdUertiser thinks that
if every young man in Georgia would
contribute his pocket pistol to the Cen
tennial fund it would make quite re-
spectacle sum, even if sold for old iron.
Then if they did not walk the earth
with lighter hearts, they would be trife
less heavy at the waistband.
There was a French singer with tre-
mendous voice, who could noU discover
what line in art he was best fitted for.
He went to Cherubini, who told him to
sing. He sang, and the foundation
trembled. "Well," he said when be
had finished, " illustrious master, what
shall 1 become o. " An auctioneer,
said Cherubini.
A Detroit bachelor, not rich, but In
dustrious and respectable, entered the
house of widow on Baker street the
other day and said: "Mrs. Blank, I'll
give you Just three minutes to answer
whether you'll be my wife or notP
"I only want fifteen scconds-yes !" she
answered, and they sat down and began
to plan how many peaches they would
can this fall.
She used to meet him at the gate with
kiss, and smile like morning light
but now she comes to the door in dingy
calico wrapper, and shoes down at the