The Van Buren press., 1875-08-10
ASSORTED ICE-CREAM.
Quaint Questions that Agltated Various
Dainty Customers.

Dainty Customers.
He slipped into an ice cream saloor
very softly, and when the girl asked hir
what be wanted, he replied:
Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickles an,
mince- pie
This is not restaurant; this is al
ice cream parlor,' she said.
Then what did you ask me what
wanted, for? Why don't you bring OIL
your ice-cream ?
Shewent after it, and as she returned
hecontinued:
You see. my dear girl, you must in
fcr-you must reason. Itisn't likely tina
would come into an ice-cream parlor, t,
buy ! grindstone, is it? You didn't thinl
l came in here to ask il ysu had balet
hay, did your
She lookd at him in great surprise, ant
he want en-:
If owned hardware store, and yor
came in, would infer that you came fol
something in my line. wouldn't ster
out and ask you il you wanted to buy a
mule. would II
She went away highly indignat. An old
lady was devouring dish of cream at
tho next table, and the stranger, after
watching her for moment, called out:
My dear woman, have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dish ?
Mercy! MOP she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon
We'll I'm. glad of it., he continued.
III you find any, just let me know
She locked at him for half minute,
picked up the spoon, laid it down again,
and then rose up and left the room She
must have said something to the proprie
tor, for he came running in, and cxclam-
ed:
Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice cream ?
No, sir
You didn't
mo, sir, did not; merely request
ted her, II she found any such ingredi-
ents, to inform me"
swell, sir, that was mean trick
MY dear sir said the stranger, smil
ing softly, did you expect me to ask the
woman if she had found crow bar or
sledge hammer in her cream? Is it i'm
possible for such articles to he hidden
away in such small dishes ?
The proprietor went away growing,
and ss the stranger quietly slipped away
at his cream. two young ladies came in,
sat down near him, and ordered cream
and cakes. He waited until they had
eaten little, and then he remarked:
Beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste of
this cieamr
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not certain.
docs it taste to you as if plug OF
tobacco had fallen into tie frcczcr?' he
asked
'Ah, kah! they exclaime !, dropping
their spoons, and trying to spit out that
which they had eaten. Both rushed out
and it wasn't long before the proprietor
rushed in.
See here. what in blazes are you talk
ing about?' he demanded. What do
you mean by ..plug tobacco in the free
zerf
My kind friend, asked the ladies i!
this crem tasted of plug tobacco. ] den'l
taste any such taste, and l don't believe
you used = bit Of tobacco in it,
Well yOu don't want to talk that way
around here! continued the proprietor
Ny ice cream is pure, and the man who
says it isn't, tells bold lie.'
He went away again, and a woman will
long neck and sad face sat down ane
said to the girl that she would take ,
small dish Of lemon ice.
II was brought, and she had taker
about two mouthfuls, when the stranger
inquired:
= Excuse me, madam, but do you know
how this cream was made? Have you ar
idea that they grated turnip and chall
with the cream.
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up
wheeled around and made for the door
The stranger followed after, and by grea
good luck his coat tails cleared the doc
too soon to be struck by a Eve e.pount
sox OF fgs, hurled, with great force, b,
the indignant proprietor. As he reach
ed the curb stone, he halted, looked a
the door Of the parlor, and thus solilo
Quized:
There are times when people shoul,
infer, and there are times when the
should not. l suppose if ! had askc,
that woman if she thought they hashe,
mp a saw mill in the cream, she'd hav
felt circular saw going down he
throat Detroit Free Press.
T A citizen of Vicksburg who want
e n