The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1875-12-31
JACK OF ALL TRADES.
a Nrntuer.oc.Fact Romance.
BY CHARLES READE.
CONTINUED
CHAPTER VII.

Our preposterous long voyage
deranged all the calculations that
had been made for US in England,
and we reached New York just at
the wrong time. We found Mas
ter Burke playing at the Park
Theater. We played there with
but small success compared to
what we had been used to in Eu-
rope. Master Burke filed the
house,-we did not fill ours,-so
that at last she was actually
eclipsed by human actor; to be
sure it was boy, not man, and
child's play Is sometimes preferred
by the theater.go going world even
to horse-play.
The statesmen were cold to us;
they had not at this time learned
to form an opinion of their own
at sight on such matters, and we
did not bring them an overpower-
ing European verdict to which
they had nothing to do but sign
their names. There was no
groove cut for the mind to run in,
and while they hesitated the spec
ulation halted. l think she would
succeed there now; but at this
time they were not ripe tor an ell
ephant.
We left New York, and away to
Philadelphia on foot and steam
| boat.
There is place on the Del
aware where the boat draws up to
a small pier. Down this we march
ed, and about ten yards from the
end the floor gave way under her
weight, and Dick and her train
fell into the sea. l was awoke
from a revery, and found myself
sitting right at top of her, with
my knees in Chesapeak Bay. Ell
hot had a rough Benjamin on, and
as he was coming laundering
down with the rest of the rubbish,
alive and dead, it caught in a
nail, and be hung over the bay by
the shoulder like an Indian fakir,
cursing and swearing for all the
world like a dog barking. l never
saw such a posture,-and 0, the
language!
1 swan out, but Dick was caught
in a trap between the two sets oil
piles. The water was about three
feet over her head, so that every
now and then she disappeared
, and then striking the bottom sht
f came up again, plunging and roll
d. ing, and making waves like s
steamboat. Her trunk she KEEP
vertical, like the hose of diving
bell, and o, the noise that cam,
up from the bottom of the Sc.
through that fiesh-pipe! Fo
about four hours she went up anC
= dewn the gamut of 80 Lord, wha
r shall / do?' more than a Thousand
times, think. We brought ropel
to her aid, and boats and men
e and tried all we knew to NOV
her, but in vain; and when W
had exhausted our sagacity sh
drew upon a better bank,-he
t own. Talk of brutes not being
5 able to reason,-gammon. DjeF
: could reason like Solomon; 70
n each fresh difficulty she found
J: fresh resource. On this occasion
! she did what 1 never saw her d.
: befOr or since: she took her enol
nous skull, and used it as a bat
! tering ram against the piles; tw'
OF which resisted-no wonder
: they were about eight inches i
d diamater; the third snapped lik
g glass, and she plunged through
/ and waddled on shore. / met he
{ with a bucket of brandy and he
Water-stiff.
. Ladies, who are said to sip thi
a compound in your boudoirs Will
!. your husbands are smoking at tn
o clubs, but l don't believe it of YOU
u learn how this lady disposed c
e her wooden tumbler full. Sh
g thrust her proboscis into it. Viii
'el-s-s-s-p! now it is all in he
= trunk. Whis-s-s-sh! now
: is all in her abdomen: one breat
i drawn and exhaled sent it froI
]. the bucket home. This done, he
e eye twinkled, and she trumpeted t.
d the tune Of "All is well that end
we'll"
, should weary the reader wer
| to relate at length ali the SINAI
r. incidents that befel US in tn
:. United States.
q The general result was failure
q loss of money, our salaries nc
t. paid up, and fearful embarrasc