The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1875-01-25
4 Danbury Man Tries to Reach
Woman's Pocket,


The most difficult thing to reach Is
woman's pocket This is especially the
case if the dress is hung up IN closet
and the man is ina hurry. We th'nR
We are safe in saving that he always Is IN
a hurry ON such occasions. The owner
of the dress is in the sitting room serene
~ enoro,sed in book. Having told
him thu. the article he is in quest Of Is in
her dress pocket in the closet, she has
/ discharged her whole duty in the matter
and can atf-rd to feel serene. He goes
nj the task with dim consciousness that
he has been there before, but says nothing
On opening the closet door and finding
himself confronted with u number OF
dresses, all turned inside out, and pre-
Senting most formidable front, he
hastens back TO ask Which dreSs?' and
being told the brown one, and also asked
if she had so many dresses that there
need be any great effort to find the right
one, he returns TO the closet with alac-
rity, and soon has his hands on the brown
dress. II Is inside out like the rest-a
fact he does not notice, however, until he
has made several Intellectual attempts to
get his hand INTO it. Then he turns it
around very carefully and passes over the
pocket several times without being aware
OF it. A nervous movement OF his
hands, and All appearance Of perSpira-
tion on his forehead are perceptible.
He now dives one hand in at the back
and feeling around finds q place and
proceeds to explore it. when he discovers
that he is following up the inside OF u
lining. The nervousness increases, also
the perSpiration. He witches the dress
on the hook, and suddenly the pocket,
white, plump and eXasperating, comes to
view. Then he sighs the relief he feels,
and is mentally grateful he did not allow
himself to use any offensive expressions.
Ii Is all right now. There is the pocket
in plain view-not only the inside but
the outSide-and all he has to do is To
put his hand right around in the inside
and take out the article That is all.
He cant help but smile tothink how near
he was to getting mad. Then he puts his
hand around to the other side. He
does not feel the opening. He pushes
"A little further-now he has got the
shovcs the hand down, and is very much
surprised to see it appear opposite his
knees. He has made II mistake. He
tries; again he feels the entrance and
glideS down it only to appear again aS
before. This makes him open his eyes
and straighten his face. He feels of the
outside of the pocket, pinche> it curisusly,
lifts it up, shakes it, and after peering
closely about the roots of it, he says, by
gracious and commences again. He
doe, it calmly this time, because
hurrying only makes matters worse.
He hauls up breadth after
breadth, goes over them carefully,
/ gets his hand first into tt lining, then in
to the air again (where it always sur
/ prlseS him when ii appears, and finally
/ into pocket, and is about to cry out
with triumph, wnen he DISCOVERIES that it
i the pocket Of another dress. He Is
mad now; the closet air almost stiles him;
he j. 20 nervous he can hardly contain
himself, and the pocket looks ut him 50
cxasperatingly that he cannot help but
..plug" it with his clinched fist, and I'M
mrdlutelv does it. Being somewhat le-
licved bv this performance, he has Il
chance to look about him, and sees that
he has put his foot through handbook
and into the crown Of his wite's bonnet;
has broken the brim 10 his Panama
hat, which was hanging in the same
closet. and torn about "A yard of bugle
trimming from new cloak, As all this
trouble is due directly to his wifes in
fatuation in hanging up her dresses in
side out he Immediately starts after her,
and, impetuousiy urging her to the
closet, excitedly and almost protanrly in
Inmates his doubts of there being II pocket
in the dress anyway. The cause of the
unhappy disaster quietly inserts her hand
inside the robe, and directly brings it
forth with the sought-for article in its
clasp. He doesn't know why, but this
makes him madder than anything else
DoHj'Ty Ne,cc.