Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1875-04-28
ITEMS


Barbcr-Tlin ont Your hair a bit,
sir? iickioIi No. never mind my
wife attends 10 that lust oil it well,
however ~ fff
Some fellow has written story en-.
titled "My Mother-in.law.r But he is
not the only one who tells stories about
his mothor-in-law. i.n...ae
A Troy bigamist ran out of back
door while his two wives were fighting
about which should have him, and has
not since been seen. w
"rhercl that explains where my
clothes-line went to- exclaimed an
Iowa woman as she found her husband
hanging in the stable.
Editing u Mississippi paper re-
marks a western editor, smeans buck
tshot after the first month and a funeral
after the second"
There arc five George Washiugtons
in the Georgia penitcntiary but, being
colored men, they would smell as sweet
by any other name
The Importance Of o single vote was
again Illustrated by the election recent
ly Of Democratic Mayor in Lancas-
ter, Ohio, by one majority.
All of the clerks in the Postohice
Department implicated in the recent
mail contract frauds have been dis
missed by the Postmastcr-General
An Oshkosh man has married four
wives out of the same family, and the
other day when the last one died he
was arrested as suspicious character
When two young hearts that beat
as one attend divine service in the
evening it is bashinlness that leads
them to select a seat in the most OBJ
scurc pew under the gallery
u loved Charles, said she, wiping
her eyes with the hem Of her ovcrslSirt, |
II loved Charles as much as any wom.
an could love a man, but when he com
menced wearing spit curls. ! dropped
him.
Duties are ours, events are Gods
This removes an infinite burden from
the shoulders OF miserable, tempted,
dying creature On this consldera-
tion only can he securely lay down his
head and close his cyes.-C6ca
Samuel r. Wells, the well known
professor of phrcnology and author of
several works on that subject died
April 18th, of typhoid fever He was
born in West Hartford, Conn, in 1920, |
and was educated as physician.
A PUBLIC OuTRAdE-Whic Sena.
tor Camerons party was at New Or
leans Pinchback invited them to dine |
at his house, which they declined with |
the civil rights bill staring them full
in the face
"Jane, what letter in the alphabet
do you like best p swell, don't like |
to say, Mr.. Snobbs" Pooh, nonsense
tell it right out, Jane. Which do you
like best?n "Well," blushing and
dropping her eyes, 81 like (u) the best"
A man who was sentenced to be
hung was visited by his wife, who
said my dear, would you like the
children to see you cxecutcdY "No,"
be replied. That's justlike you, said
she, "you never wanted the children
to have any enjoyment
In an old curiosity shop in Ninth
street, Washington, are a piano form
erly owned by Washington at Mount
Vernon, violin of "Tadp Lincoln, a
gold-headed cane formerly used by Joe
Miller, and the saddle used in tho last
Mexican war by Santa Anna.
Ex-Speaker Blaine wants to see the
time "when General Logan can speak
as freely in Georgia as Gordon and
Lamar can in New Hampshire Now
that would be rough on Georgia Cor
tlon and Lamar are good speakers,
while Logan is the biggest blather-
skito in the country.
While the ladies' of Oneida were
working at the polls for the election of
a no-liccnsc board of excise, one of
thom received the following note any
Dear Wife, have washed the baby,
put her to bed, and stirred up the pan
cakes what shall ! do next? Your
loving husband Such man is handy
in any family.
Vice. President Wilson says that he
does not know man in Massachusetts
who is in favor of the third term. lie
has probably not conferred lately with
Collector William A. Simmons, OF the
port of Boston, nor with sundry other
Revenue and Postoflicc officials, who
draw their inspiration from the Essex
statesman.
Runaway matches will be difficult
in Prussia, under the new law. BY
tho provisions of the act, the consent of
the father is necessary before wcdlocls
up to the young mans twenty-fith
year and the young woman's twenty
fourth but if the father bo dead, then
the mothers is required and if neither
parent be living that of the sponsors
Dad, il were to sec duck on the
wing, and were to shoot at it, would |
you lick mc?' "Oh, no, my son; il !
would show that you were good
marksman, and | would feel proud of
you "Well, then, dad ! peppcred
your old Muscovy duck as he was
fiyin over the fence today. and it
would have done you good to see him
drop"
The President has declined toattcnd
the Centennial celebration of the Meek.
lcnburg Declaration of Independence,
for reasons expressed in his letter.
General Grant has accepted 80 much
that this dcclination may be regarded
as an apology to the country for the
errors Of the past The North Caro-
lima committee, however, it must be
remembered, neither offered him dog
nor n horse-nor another tcrm.-N1e
York Herald.
A Detroit gentleman walking behind
two school children the other day
heard the boy enquire. "Will you be
Mt the party to-nightY' 81 shall be
there answered the miss, "but may us
well tell you now that your love is
hopeless mamma is determined, faith.
or is set, and it isn't right for me to
encourage your attention. can be a