The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-02-04
LeekIas Ter the Legislashsr.

/
years Of age came upstairs into the local
room of this paper and inquired:
els this whar the Legislashur isl"
"No, sir" replied the reporter; the
Legislature is in session at Lansing"
"'Way off there, EN-" continued the
man, a, he sat down, laid his cane across
the table and took off his mittens.
eyes; trains run twice day. Pretty
good crowd out there by this time"
Il don't care about the crowd" said
the old man, II want q lava new
lawp'
"Ehs"
eyes, sir, l want new law-sunthin'
to purtcct old men like me-"
whats the matter-how do you want
to be protected?"
my names Horner," replied the man.
as he slowly fumbled inside his coat.
my names Horner, and I'm an old fool!
What do you think ! did three months
ago? Went and married q girl nineteen
years old, and red-headed at that! Yes,
went and decided her farm, and gin her
six hundred dollars cash and married
her!''
"And you do not live happy?"
Happy! Young man. let me show
you sunthin'-here, look at that"
And he unrolled piece of brown
paper and displayed handful Of gray
hairs, some of which were bloodstained.
"Pulled right out of my scalp only three
days ago" he went on. "And see this
ere leg!"
He pulled up his pants and exhibited
black and blue spot just above the
shin.
"Struck there with fatiron!" he ex-
claimed; "meant to hit me in the chist
and kill me at once, but lodged. And
see here!"
He opened his coat and vest and re-
vealed the fact that he had no shirt on,
and consequently nothing on which to
button collar.
"Tore it ofl'n me two weeks ago!" he
whispered, land she burned up my
other one. I've bin around this way for
a fortnight, almost dying by inches!"
"Wcll, she must be a regular wildcat
said the reporter.
Young man, if I war to sit here and
tell we how that woman conducts herself
ye'd have to hold yer ha'r down." ex-
claimed the old man, striking his leg.
"No one knows how she's heaved fiat
irons at me, hit me with clubs, throwed
water over me in bed, pulled hair,
jawed around and brought my gray hairs
in sorrow to the grave! Why, what do
you think she called me this very morn
ing?"
"A cundurango, perhaps"
"Wuss'n that, boy-far, far wuss; she
called me an Apollo!"
"Possible?"
Yes, she did! Think Of that, will ye!
Think of a man of my age, who has al
ways paid his debts and been honest,
bein' set down with pirates!''
It's bad" sighed the reporter, as a
long pause ensued.
It's awful-the awfulest kind of
awful" replied Homer 1--WE got to
stand it, but 1 want law to protect
other old men. want law to forbid
any man over sixty from marryin' girl
who isn't over twenty"
That might be wise law"
Ican't 90 to Lansin'," he went on
"but you kin help me. Put it in your
paper-git up an excitement about it
Will you do this? Look at me, boy
look me all over! See how I've suffered
See how hot my head is!''
"Ill help you all can"
"Do! Write to him! Write to him five
times dayl I'm goin' hum to meet he1
and be pounded around and sassed and
jawed, but if / know you're gettin' Law
through I'll go to the grave feelin
good"
And he put on his mittens, took up his
cane and was gone.-Detr0it Free Press