The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-02-06
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

speaking OF DUCKS, western cOtcNhPo'"'J
says they are profitable to raise; that they are
great eaters, but are also rapid growers, ana IN
their readiness to grow and take on flesh, they
make amends for their free eating propensities
Do the old folks concur in thisy
kind.hcarted newspaper man says he mas
learned that proofreaders were invented to OK
ercise editors in the Christian virtues, and he
treats them very kindly, expecting to 20 to
heaven some some day-a place where no proof
reader will be found. We call for proof OF that
last assertion.
verse.writing friend Of ours closes an apos
sropbe to his Dulcinea thus:
i cannot write the word | seek
fcannot print it on thy cheek,
When look up to thee
We happen to know Just why he could no,
print il on her check. She wouldn't let him,
When Dubuque landlord turns a sick widow
,ut of doors for non.payment of rent, o crowd
waits upon him and escorts him down to the
shores of a lovely pond and insists upon his TAX.
ing swim
u is not birth, nor rank, nor state but-get-up-
and-blhld- the-fre that makes woman great
RrtnstcickeF
The Detroit Press snys chunk OF boy was
seen studying the weather report charts hang
ing in the poStotiice, recently, and wondering at
the lads interest, gentleman approached him
snd asked: Well, my son, what do you wish to
SndT I'm looking to see how the old thermOm.
stands at Duluth replied the boy; If she's ten
below, I've got to dust for home and split more
oh at | ~ on M wi
son to sec his dog fight tame coonH
This item from the Burlington Hdmk- Eye will
81 any other northern town just at this season:
The wood piles are diminishing with fearful
rapidity, and il Is greatly to be feared that the
instances are neither few nor far between in
which one pile contributes TO the warmth of
several households
They will have grand hula.hula for Kalahaua
when he gets back to Honolulu. Hoop-la!
The cod snap makes the coal snap IVhichon
Tipses.
Louisiana is under banditti, and Irwin ia Under
ban, dttO.--Ni0. Nat.
New York has man who can put up n stove
without swearing He is deaf and dumb.-.Ndr-
shaR Messenger.
A beggar was heard TO remark, recently, that
love Of cards had played the deuce with him.
Man may learn wisdom from postage stamp.
It sticks to its Legitimate business. Letters
profit by it.-Berkshirc Cour.
One OF the western railroads has female loco. !
petve engineer Of the beautiful blonde order.
She makes the sparks Ay.
George Francis Train Is going TO start news.
paper in Cincinnati. We always thought that
place would come to something bad.-St Jo |
Herald
Cape May has an ancient lady who has worn |
the same bonnet since 1872, andwe presume that
" ycar-old rape may yet be found in her ward !
aobe.- IT,
Peru young man, making New Years calls
put on napkin in one place, forgot to take il
off, and made two or three calls with It pinned
up in front OF him.
We have had obituary notices on standing
galley Tor six months, OF few families in town
That still continue to use coal oil in lighting
ares. 1t is only question Of tmc.-Er
When the cold wind blows, take care OF vour(
nose that it don't get frozc, and wrap up your
toes in warm wooden hose The above, We sup
pose, was written in prose, 10y some one who
knows the effects of cold SHOWS
Colonel J. Il. Young, Executive Clerk Of the
United Stntcs, has written new poem, in which
he says
Again that voice fell on my eur
There was silence ON my ear
They fell and died upon my ear
The echo died upon my ear
Some Of our exchanges are still sloshins over
With lugubrioua sentiment over the death Of Mr.
u 4 /, u
We would advise 1915 to deal less in drou.hs
and grasshoppcrs, if he wants us to shed any
tears over his taking of
The fourth Of MANA quarter.master.
Motto for the gold.dggers -Ophir lodge.
Among modern historians Motley is the only
wear.
suggestive Beau ha, opened hotel in
Concord.
Executing an Hanging up the
fiddle and the bow.
Sign for indigestion: Gone to dinner he
back In five minutes.
Since the hard times struck Nevada they have
raised the price Of killing Cinnamon to seven
dollars
II is singular that the man who borrows a pa.
per is always the man to find the NEST fault with
is contents.-Aomc Sent.
II must make q man feel mean to pay an old
debt because he thinks he is going to die, and
then have the doctor pull him through all right
Nothing recalls to the mind of the married
ran the joys Of his single life so wildly as to
End that the baby has been eating crackers in
:he bed
A California preacher is preaching on the best
way to raise Toys. We have always found II NUN.
Der IA boot about as effective as ANYTHING for
raising them.
There is postmaster 10 Illinois that draws a
salary Of one dollar per annum. His object in
seeking the Office was TO get rich and retire lie,
fore old age came creeping on
The most trying circumstance under which q
boy car be, is when another boy in the alley Is
vinking at him. and his father offering him a
nickle to carry in pile Of wood.
eaIcuiafia, ~ 4bo oHact NJ n sIiehl ,,ratuifv