Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1875-10-07

Dlo DlOW, turning the macl1ne complete
somersaut backward against the door, which was
closed with slam and wo were locked in alone
with this monster of animated metal.
In this, its first essay at gymnastics, we were
jerked violently to the iloor by the "pulsator"
catching in our coat pocket tearing the skirt half
pants quite up to tho walstband This acds "
plight for the editor OF q religious newspaper
Before escaping from that room we resolved to
change our paper to a semi-roligous sheet, re-
serving one half Of its pages on which We might
print our anathemas against Kelley motors, :"
- force generators " and all such internal ma
chimes But We had not long to contemplate the
tattered state of our wardrobe. A vicious NUT
tering near tho door informed us that it bohoov-
cd us to look for place OF safety. We even
offered, mentally largo sum for & convenient l
accepted. Wo must move with dis
patch, for the muttering is growing
louder andlnow the endH OF the arms Of the ap-
paratus arc indulging in all inpatient drumming
on the floor. Some new movement now turns
tho generator face about and there it stands, or
rather. rocks, as though settling for spring
and lust AZ we step toward the work bench to
mount to tho top Of closet, tho machlNe gives
an angry snort and hiss and rushes toward the
bench positively cutting uA OIL. Until now We
had not fully realized the extent OF our danger
in being confined with this hideous jack in the
box" whose rapid movement, oven in thcir ap-
parent uncertainty, seemed to be guided by some
sort OF tiendish instinct having no other object
than our destruction. There the thing stood,
ness, now balanced on one foot, then
on the other with All occasional turn
with waltzing motion as ono or other OF tile
arms touched tho floor In their uneasy flourishes.
After each Of these pirouetts it would always
face us with that grinning physiognomy in a
most irrltating,manner, while in the buzzing and
clxeking its valves kept up we could imagine it
said " Haven't got your Can't get away-can't .
get-can't-ha ha Look out y And We had
to look out, for it commenced tho very devils
tattoo with the ends Of its arms upon the
iloor ending with that famous double
knock and somersault as it darted to-
towards us We were astonished at the agility
with which we avoided 1t as it passed us and WAS
arrested by tho wall from which it peeled at
least square yard OF plaster. For a
moment it seemed staggered, and taking
advantage Of this we jumped upon the work.
bench and viewed the situation. What the pros
sure now equaled there was no telling. We were
afraid to attempt to reach the door, for we now
regarded the machine as creature OF intelli-
gence-but woefully misdirocted Intelligence
and felt that those eyes (pluss AZ they were)
in tic top of its bald head were continually
watching us. What were We to do? Nothing?
anything ? We would assume the aggressive.
And with this decision we took up hammer
from the bench and threw it with all our
strength, striking tho machine fairly on the
hcad which it seemed to shake with indignation.
The shock must have communicated some
motion to the i.starter" for the machine waaded
quickly from the wall aided by its long arnls, and
whrling like dancing Dervish made directly
for the workbench where we stood. We had
barely time to ascend to the top OF tho closet
when the bench received most murderous blow
which would have crushed our feet had We re.
NAMED below. As soon We could crawl from
under our battered silk hat which contact with
the ceiling had converted into an extinguisler OF
our daylight by crowdng it down to our chin, we
looked down upon the now frightfully agitnte1
enemy, whose gymnastics were lausL-proyokins
| though at the same time teliiying We Lad III
anger given our hat furious hnrl and landed ii
sidewise upon the head OF the perambnlatlhg
apparatus which pre- sented the most ludicrous
| figure, wearing borrowed hat and charging like
| n drunken Punchinello at every thing i'll the
room. We became sarcastic, and generously
offered our tattered pants and coat to the me-
| tac promenader. Our thoughts then entered
another channel. We asked ourselves how long
we were to remain freed up in that turkey
| among the ,cob-webs? Illuminating in the ex
treme! We had suffered all this from that mis-
| cradle little secondhand tea-kettle. But re-
venge il sweet IL its object is even nothing mort
| thar, that wheel barrow load ,f old brass ant
iron which was then cutting capers about th'
| floor like crippled dwarf.
| Our revenge WAS at hand. The shelves OF th'
| closet were laden with varlously shaped piece
Of iron, light and heavy, bolts, tools, etc.; ant
| we made an earnest business engagement o
throwing these things at the generator" The.
struck it with surprising precision about TIT
head, and every blow had tho effect of increas
ing the whirling and rattling Of tile machine
no circus tunbier turned more somersanlts. W.
continued our bombardment from our cobwe
fortress under the ceiling and our final shot LOT
our hand striking the starter a blow that droy
the stem to its fullest limit. The effect wa
terrific The machine jumped into the air. an
came down head first, the arms thriving it owe
and beating the floor with force that shook til
house, The machine seemed taken with Il
epileptic fit its kissing and buzzng increasin
each moment, to which we added the noise OF M
friend knocking at the door and demanding i
Heavens name what devil had boon unchaine
in tic hous, Then the generator gave on
leap and screech throwing itself towar
the window beside winch "
were perched. 1t struck the window jam
| and the closet at the Same time. IL went out {
the window while We descended with crash
tho floor. Picking ourself slowlyup, We heard
voice which we recognized as our wife's sayil
"Charlea, you seem to have been laborill
. with fearful night-mare !" "Yes, my dear" r.
: piled We, eve think that is the case"