Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-01-01
MINOR NOTES.

MINOT, NOTES.
Frauds in the show business are not To b
I encouraged and especially the pretense
/ that thing is rare or unique when it Is a.
common as dirt There is an Artemus
1 Ward down in Frederick, Nd. who ischeat-
ing people out of their money by exhibiting
- a jackass with the gift of speech" This
would be much pleasanter world If the
1 nckasses were all dumb, and could neither
/ lecture nor make speeches. nor engage in
| conversation, nor try to sing. If all the
| iackasses 50 endowed are To be exhibited.
/ there will be an awful rise in the price Of
canvas.
\ Nashville (Tenn.) paper describes a
| little incident thus - One of Nashyille's
/ brightest and most sensible ladies was busi-
/ ly engaged few mornings since in making
cakes She donned calico dre,-. pinned
/ flaming red shaw! about her shoulders. fast
ened her brown hair in a coil ON tine top
/ Of her head, and had JUS, plunged her hands
into the dough, when the door bell rang.
/ She happened to be the only one in the
| house At the time, and 50 WIS forced to ar
>wer the bell herself, which she did after
hastily washing her hands, and was mortified
at discovering her visitor to be -lruce
voung gentleman friend and three stranger
gentlemen IN embarrassing introduction
TOOK place, the visitors were seated in the
rarlor, then the young lady excused herself
/ 10 re-appear in few moments in a Costume
better suited To the parlor. Daring her alb
~eucc she made such complete tran>lorma-
tion in her appearance that she was morti-
fed at finding the >tanrer visitors did not
recognize her, thus rendering second in
PRODUCTION necessary. which ceremony the
Nashville Young man performed By saying,
" She Is the same young lady We met at
the door. gentlemen-the very same young
lady"
\ gentle, husbandleSs creature in Hi
n.iS writes to lawyer who advertised that
married persons Ny DeGr Nr: This Is u
certify that an widow with thirteen
children born, and have had three husbands,
each Of them died in peace in his own way.
| have "a small farm, and wouli take another
husband yet, if could find a young one NJ
Old, hull-headed ~ariinc need apply he will
not be taken in. Ten dollar. will be given
to You to procure man.
\ colorel preacher in South Carolina puts
lis foot on excessive bribery at elections and
brushes it. DS ting" he says. =. Oh get
in 800 for vote Is all wrong; so i aS
much a. it, wort 80
One Michigan county actually give small
majority in favor Of female suffrage; but
then n!ne-tenths Of the votes in the county
are native American Indians Does this
point to an alliance between the white oY-
pressed and the red prosecuted ones?
- Speaking Of shooting ducks SAYS DR..
T. puts me in mind of the great storm
that occurred when lived on the Island.
y Won are well aware, our island was near
( by Ca>co Bay an awful storm arose. and
was 50 fierce that il drove all the ducks in
the bay into a pond, covering about an acre.
near nv house. In fact. 50 many ducks
crowded into the pond that could not see
4 drop of water. Sho, says Smith. - did
We shu,e any Of EN- - - That's what was
comm at | went into the house and got
my doube-barreled shot gun, and discharged
/ both barrels right in the midst Of then. but.
I t. my ast0nishment, they arose in the air
/ leaving not 4 solitary duck in the pond -
/ Good gracious We don't say - says Smith;
E. didn't We hey any shot in yer gun, or what
/ in thunder was the trouble - -" Well, |
I was coming to that said Dr. F.; it
astonished ne at first but a. soon as the
+ ducks rose a few hundred yard, in the air,
/ and commenced to separate little, the
ducks besan to drop. and whether YOU be
/ lieve itoia aot, picked up twenty nine barrels
/ OF ducks. and It waS q poor season Tor ducks
/ to1. You see the ducks were wedged in 80
solid in the pond that when they rose they
/ carried the dead ones into the air with
them, and when they separated, down
/ came the twenty-ninc barrels Of dead ones.
\ man was seen coming out of Texas
/ newspaper Office, with one eye gougei out.
and his nose spread all over his face like
piece of raw beef and one of his ears chawed
of 10 policeman that interviewed him,
/ he replied " didn't Ike an article that
peared IN the paper last week, an went
in ter see the man who writ it. He war
thar, stranger
An Episcopal Church in a city near Buf-
I flln. emvloved Mr.. 10 order i bell to he
east in Toronto with the motto upon it,
=. Merry Christmas ' In due time the arti-
Gle was mnIc and delivered; bat imagine
:hc chill which dashed the benignity of tina;
Committee when it was discovered, and the
inscriuton. which had been given to the
agent verbally was seen TO read - Mary
/ Cri>tna-t" The hest nerve among them
broke the spell Of silence by refusing to ac-
cent the i,b Whereupon the other party
produced written order in the agent
hand - prove that lie had - followed copy.
The Committee concluded to hush up the
affair Of the bell. Their agent has elected
Major OF the city. We presume he spells
his Office mare Boston EreniHg Tran
script.
4 New Hamshire school teacher lately
was questioning one of his classes upon the
! anatomy of the human body, and, standing
upon one foot and swinging the other foot
and limb, he inquired how many bones he
was moving. Several incorrect answers were
riyen at first. but after it had been answer
ed correctly the question was asked if any
of the scholars thought differently. A little
fellow, not yet in his teens, raised his hand
Immediately, sgnifyng that he disagreed
with his schoolnates, and the teacher re-
peating the question. g How many bones
was | moying?" was astonished to hear
the little chap increase the proper number
bv one. in the same breath giving As
his reason. - You were moving your Jaw
bone, too
4 divoee case was heard before referee
at Portsmouth, the other day, in which a
wife of sixty-fve ,years, Sarah II. Poole by
name, sought to sever the bonds which bind
her to James Poole, frisky youth of sixty
six. Sarah, when she took up with the
Youthful James, was the widow of clergy
man. The grounds upon which the sepera-
tion is sought are that she has suffered great
unkindness and extreme cruelty from james,
inasmuch that he assumed against her wish
the duties Of the household, taking charge OF
the fires and undertaking to mix the dough
and cook the food of his Sarah. Sarah, not
being a follower of the strong-minded, re-
monstrated, when James became unk nd anc
! cruel. As he continued to sit in and lounge
around the kitchen, Sarah asks to have th'
bonds severed 50 that each one can cook theil
, own dinner.
A Young man walked into an lndianapoli
drug store, the other day, and called for 81
cents worth of strychnine. The clerk, sus
, pecting his object, gave him harmless dos
. of sugar of milk" the youth swallowed
it at once and sat down to die. To tn
surprise of the clerk, he soon showed ever,
, Indication of poisoning, and he thinks that
: had he not told him of the harmless natur