Middletown transcript., 1875-08-21
8tllllorolls.
The Boy at the Soda Fountain
A STARTLING TALE THAT HE TOLD TO
pooR OLD LADY WHO WAS THIRSTY.

weather. and the soda fountain looked
so tempting that she conquered her
avarice and walked saover and told the
boy. .that she would take glass. ~
DO you wish for a fly in ii he in
quired in q whisper. rq
"A ay? grashus !! no! she replied.
look Of disgust on her face.
Just as you say. madam he went
on us he drew some lemon syrup. 'Peo-
pie are sodiferent in tastes, yon know.
Some object to flies and some don't
I'll mix some pineapple syrup with this
lemon. and now will you have great
deal Of gas and little water. or great
deal Of water and little gas?
I'm purity thirsty she said.
We'll, then, you want more water
than gas, and there won't be SO much
danger of:aa explosion = + ~
Explosion = she qaeried. sa
THAT was the word, madam. We
have had but few such accidents this
summer, and I truly hope that We may
have no more.
Does soda water blow up folks 2
That depends on the state Of their
health. Some people could stand here
and drink it all day, while others might
get the glass tipped up this way, and
boom they'd CO. E
Bust ?
.Yes'm-fy into thousand pieces.
You never saw human being explode,
did your 5gfas
Mercy, mo-! 197 ny
We'll you don't have the least warn
ing. They may be laughing or talk
ing, and all at once the store is filled
with false hair, monogram garters.
bustles, corsets, feet, teeth and rolled
plate jewelry. 1t makes . great muss
around here, and if we hadn't three Of
the smartest negroes in town to pick
up and sweep out we'd have to shut up
the store, for whole afternoon after an
explosion y. ia --I = -e6-r y !;
He stood with the glass in his hand
agitating the syrup and waiting. and
she said: ----
i didn't suppose it was dangerous
stuff 1900
We'll, as 1 told you. it depends on
the state Of the system. # your liver
is torpid and your digestion impaired,
one glass of soda water would blow you
higher. .,.kanI Gildefoy's kite, and the
coroner would be lucky to find as much
as your spectacles to hold an inquest
on If your system is all right. you
might drink . hundred glasses and feel
no disastrous effects. Now, then. you'll
have good deal Of water and but little
gas, eh?' u
She made deprecatory motion and
asked: .2TaiiLi544I +.
'How's the stuff made ?
well, can't 60 on and explain all
the process. There's marble dust, acid,
gas. i sugar scoated pills, giant powder.
cologne water and kerosene all mixed
together and distilled. The distilled
liquor is then placed in retort, where
. chemical action separates il and the
gas forces it up separate pipes
kerosene and pills.! she gasped.
That's what / said, madam. You
look innocent and honest, and l hope
you Won't say anything about it. l
tend this fountain in order to support q
widowed mother .@s'.sveqGtathe
childrsn. IL JON should say anything
I'd be discharged. and if were dis
charged, l should commit suicide.
You'll have plenty Of water. eh?'
No, sir. I won't, she replied. DO
you suppose I'd drink acids and kero-
sene2' l6apas. .eslnlsq-t sasia- aii .aa4i.1+-
Mot in their crude state, madam,
but this process. 81 81 M
II don't care for the process Y she
snapped ~ wouldn't tsuch the stuff 7
1T is mild beverage, madame. and
the doc--'ai3 O.t8 sii1-i a9a
Well. I don't want any. When l
gsto osvallowing tar and lard and kero-
sene you'll know it S'posen l drank
some and exploded ..s,,z.e
Don't mention it," be whispered. -
Don't speak Of itP ,a.
I'm sorry for You, young man, but
there's constable living right in sight
of our house, and Isthink I-44I-r (,
You'll drive me to suicides grave,
you mean !'rav a.etIstvf .r.n sas
She lowered her spectacles, took .
long look at him, and went out without
eplying.-Detroit Free Press.
rs rsaT @
CoHrRABAND COMPLIMENTS. = Miss
Snowdrop.s said 4 gentleman Of color
the other afternoon during shower,
to lady Of bis acquaintance, 'as de
wedder n somewhat amphibious. will
you do me de honor to step under my
umbreller an form quorum ?
Tank -you. Mister Billips, / will.
In dis wedder an umbreller is RAIDER
cosmopolitan