The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-12-15

sort x Of way qnlimbers, " her bat:
terry. sYoung man, excuse
me- she begins, s'but vou
look kind o benevolent, and think you
would help poor woman if you thought
she really needed it.. Now I am not beg.
ging for myself: No. thank God. I do
not need it; am widow, it is true,
with large family, and must work for a
living. but so long as have these stout
arms holding up mastery pair for
your admiration) neither l nor my chill
here is Mrs. Quigley. my neighbor, poor
thing. land here she takes occasion to
wipe away a tear.) poor thing; she has
been sick these three months. I have
myself paid one month of her rent, and
so long as she could work she held on,
but now her baby lies dead in her room,
and she hasn't penny, except what little
change could spare, with which to
bury it. She isn't used to begging,
as you can see; she wouldn't go out at
first, and she wouldn't go out by herself
at all, but says to her, Mrs. 'Quigley, 1
amt used to begging, either, but I'll go
out with you, and know we II meet some
kind-hearted gentleman, like yourself,
that will aid us to get, if no more, a lit
tie coffin for the poor little thing"
Who can say that this scheme is not
we'll concocted. 1t works admirably. 1t
draws as nothing ever drew before, and if
you are not posted you will 60 down into
your treasury with alacrity. Few can
resist this dodge, and the most hard
hearted are ''taken in'' with it. It is
doubtful if every old Scrooge could have
withstood such an appeal, supposing it to
be genuine.
1t was only few days ago that the
writer came upon couple playing it, and
although he knew for dead certainty
that it was q put-up job, still the thing
was done so we'll, there was such
GENUINE PATHos,
and such flow of tears, and such pulling
by the sad.eyed one of the other ones
dress, saying, with sobs, ''Oh don't, let's
60 away, cant have you do this, it is
too much, too much" and the benevo-
lent one chided her in motherly strain
for not having little pluck in such an
emergency; that deponent could with
difficulty bring himself to reveal to them
that the dodge was getting triAe rusty
with him. But no sooner did he venture
to hint that he saw throug "a the thinness
of it than the mask was removed, and
another Mother Frochard stood revealed,
and the sarcasms of which she delivered
herself were actually whitening.
"Oh, you see through this game, do
you? You're a smart one, amt you !?
Been played on you before, has it? Nice
young man you are to talk so when
when-bah, you're d-n snipe, that S
what you are. and be hanged to you.
Come along, Mag, and off they went.
While the foregoing have been cited as
specimens Of the inventive genius Of this
class, it is equally curious to note what
an utter lack of invention a few display,
in accordance with the old adage that all
rules have their exceptions. There is one
old ''vas'' that has been
MAKING THE ROUNDS
these many years, who has ever the same
plea that he wants to 60 to his son, who
lives matter of 20 miles in the country;
that the fare is 1920. and that he needs
IS cents to make up the required amount,
and all he asks is five cents to help his
weary bones along. Never does that son
live beyond the prescribed distance; new.
er does the fare change; but more re-
markably still, never, during all these
weary years of toll, has he been able to
reduce the amount required, even by a
single penny. Evidently some dire IA
tality hangs over this poor old
man. calculates many thrifty house,
wife, as forsthe seventeenth time she lis
tens so his story, in the vain hope that
either through i'll or good fortune, some
slight change has como over his financial
status. And to prove to you that he
does need the IS cents, he ever holds the
$l.55 in dirty shinplasters in his trem-
bling hands, which reminds one of the
old apple-woman answer in the play of
the "Seven Sisters when some irrever-
ent chap ventures to suggest that Is
cents apiece is too much for apples. TOO
much is it, bad luck TO you: l paid $65
barrel for these apples, and. if you
don't believe it I can show you the
barrel.'
LAUGHING CH1LDREN.-Give me the boy
or girl who smiles as soon as the first
rays of the morning sun glance in
through the window, gay, happy andkind.
Such boy will be tit to make up
into man-at least, when contrasted
with the sullen, morose, grabbed fellow,
who snape and snarls like a surely cur,
or who growls and grunts like a hyena
from the moment he opens his angry
eyes till he is confronted by his break
fast. Such girl other things being
favorable, will be good material to aid in