Litchfield enquirer., 1875-01-14
CLIPPINGS.
Head-waiters-Barbers.

Head-waiters
 All catechisms are queitionable.
 The smallest hair throws shadow.
 Cheap living-Living on exitement.
 Hobby-horses are dearer. than Arab .steeds.
 One way to get a roaring trade is to buy menagerie.
 To poor man witg large family, glo- ry is of bot little account.
 Nictims of dip-theory-a is what an or thodox Boston joker calls the Baptists.
 Tom Thumbs fortune is estimated at $500, 900. and yet he is always short.
 The band played Little Brown Jug" at the prohibitory ratification meeting in Worcester.
 The young King of Bavaria threatens to abdicate, but he'd better not. Situa- Hons are scarce now.
 The highest prize in Chinese lottery is twenty-nine cents, but the swearing is just as loud and deep as at Havana.
 ACovington man died and they put him no ice, but he awoke in the night and yelled out: ."Why don't you put some more wood in that stove?"
 Somebody observes that when six young ladies sit down to talk about dress, a small boy with tin horn is refuge for the weary.
 One good trait in Brooklyn girls is that they don't care to rebuke their parents much before they are thirteen.
 A Michigan town has a horse-shoer who can set one hundred and thirty shoes in eight hours. Not slow but shoe'er," is his motto.
 With 6 well-bred attendant mustered on each side of him, Kalakaua is said to make very respectable Sandwich.
 That farmer understood human nature who said: If you want to keep your boy at home, don't bear too hard on the grind stone when he turns the crank" A wicked man in Davenport, being on his death bed, wishing to consult some proper person regarding his future state, and his friends sent fire insurance agent to him.
 A man whose wife hung herself in his presence, on being asked why he did not prevent the tragedy, replied: 'T cut her down three times last week, and can't be always cutting her down."
 An Indiana man bet S1O, that he could ride the hy-wheel Ill a saw-mill, and as his widow paid the bet she remarked: "William was a kind husband, but he didn't know much about fly-wheels.
 A Californian contemporary puts in a good word for the much abused Mongol- ian, remarking that no Chinaman has ever yet become & book canvasser or life in- surance agent.
 A New Hampshire woman points with pride to a 26-year-old stove; but she don't tell how many successive husbands have been used up in the annual endeavor to fit the pipe to it.
 An intelligent lady asked a sculptor re- gently, who was about completing the sculpture of lamb, 'Did you cut out that animal?''
 "Oh, no" said the sculptor: ''the lamb has been there all the time. I only took the marble from around him--that's all. " A gentleman took the following tele- gram to the telegraph office: 'Mrs. Brown, Liverpool street. I announce with grief the death of Uncle James. Como quickly to read will. I believe we are his heirs. John Black" The clerk having counted the words said: ''There are two words too many, sir" 'All right, cut out with grief. was the reply.
 Here is fame in the New York Central Park: Passing the bust of Humbolt, the gentleman called his companions atten- fion tn # ''Oh. yes, remarked tho lady, with much animation, "Helmbold, that kept the drug store? I believe that did hear that he was busted"