Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1875-01-15
THE SWEETHEA AND THE
WIFE.


Perhaps there is no more painful time i
: Woman's life than the semitransition
when the assiduous lover is passing int
the matter of fact husband, and the wooe
Is passing into the master. Women, WHIT
are so much more sensitive than men
more sentimental, too, and less content tc
TRUST III silence to an MISUNDERSTANDING
affectlon, are for the most part only happy
when they are being made love to. It Is
not enough for them to be loved they
want to be told so twenty times day, and
to have the harmonies of life increased by
a crowd OF occasional notes embroidering
the solid substance by which they live.
Men, OH the contrary, get tired Of love.
making. When they have wooed and won
they are content to be quiet, and to take
the rest for granted. They are not cold
however, because they are secure; and to
mostand those the best, practical kindness is
better than fattery, security ranks before
! excitement and hysteria and life passed in
serene friendship, fearing no evil, and
needing no phrasing, is better than life
passed IN perpetual turmoil of passion,
where there are scenes and tears and doubts
and broken hearts, if there is no endless
courtshlp and fatiguing demonstration
Now, the quiet truth is just the lesson
women have to learn, and in making
which they make or mar the happiness of
lie. 1t has come to all, save in those very
4,rrr-
rev exceptional cases where the weak
minded man is as much woman as his
wife, and enjoys the parade of emotion
Fight against it as they will, the day has
TO draw when the husband preoccupied
with certain grave affairs in the office,
Iofgets tie little caress, passes by the love
Dlrd name, lngnores the small attention
usually given and received-is, in fact, the
man OF business preoccupied and bothered,
not the lover-like husband, living only on
the smiles of his darling. This day is the
woman's tombstone of trust and common
sense. 1t she bears her disappointment
TRANQUILITY she is safe; if she weeps, sulks
and demonstrates, obtrudes her cares;
though she makes good her position, that
moment she has lost ground for the future.
She is no longer the placid, restful wife.
whose presence soothes without a word
and whose love rejoices in it's silent trust
she is the eDigeante mistress whose fancies
have been attended, no matter at what
cost OF mental suffering, who cannot fore
go her usual offering Of attention and adj
Grafton even for the sake of the man she
loves He, on his part, thinks that if she
really loved him she would take him as he
is-she would not find it so difficult
to efface herself in his hour Of trial. and
rather than add to his burden by her de-
mands she would help him to bear that
with which he is already weighted, by her
unselfishness and sympathy.
Carresses and attention, and all the pref
ty follies of love, are for the idle hours and
the cloudless sunshine; but the silent sun
shine of married friendship is that for
which men look in dark days, and the
treasure on which they rest. Why cannot
women learn reliance? they think. Why
must they always need to be told again,
and again that which they already know.
and begin to doubt as soon as they cease to
hear? This is the first contest of nature in
married life; but it is one wherein, if the
woman is wise, she will yield without q
murmur, and hide her disappointment as
carefully as the Spartan boy hid his fox,
Love making is only an episode in the
lives OF men, if love is as much to men as
to women, and friendship perhaps more.
Women, on the contrary, would gladly pro-
long that love making to the end of their
days and keep the husband the wooer to
the last:
Married to an undemonstrative temper.
however warm and true heart, they hold
themselves aggrieved because they are only
loved and not courted, trusted and not
flattered. They look back with fearful re-
greet to the time when it was their priyi-
lege to grant and he was content to sue.
and they do not see why there should be so
much difference between insecurity and
uncertainty, the feryor of beseechine and
the calmness OF content. If they are sillier
than general, they try to spur him into the
old demonstration by jealousy-to show
that If he despises, others honor, and that
even marriage has it's broken fences and
dangerous issues. Sometimes the ruse suc-
ceeds, but at cost far outweighine the
gain; sometimes it fails, maybe from the
mans simple trust and loyal faith; and
it has been before now that the foolish
moth has drawn nearer and nearer the can.
die, and at last burnt her wings forever.
running her own life and his, because she
liked the excitement of being made love
to, and could not accept the quietness of
marriage in lieu Of the romance of mar
rage.