Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-01-13
HrxoRorS.

HUXoRoUs.
A Rich ScKSr.-A retired clergyman
sends us an account Of Q little affair
that happened in his place. 1t appears
that there was q young woman, fine,
spirited girl, engaged at q washtub
opposite an open door. just behind
her was q young man, as is generally
the case, and in the yard was an old
buck that was allowed the freedom of
the premises, which was not always the
case, we are glad to say. Well, the
buck came up to the door and looked
in, and the young man, going close
behind the young woman, pointed his
finger straight at the buck, and the old
fellow, recognizing at once the pressing
character of this mute invitation, put
down his head and dashed forward, and
the miserable man stepped one side and
fed. The young woman, all uncon-
scious Of the arrangement, received the
awful shock without warning, and
passed over the tub; the air for an
instant appeared to be full of slippers
and wet clothes and soap and hot water
and suds. The next minute the goat
came flying out of the door at a dread
full speed, bald the whole length of the
spine, and with wild look in his eye.
And for an hour afterward he stood
back of the barn scratching his chin,
and trying to recall all the circum-
stances of the affair.
In THE SPIRITUAL LINE.-It is q good
story that they tell of DIR. Hayman,
formerly of Rugby School, England.
While returning recently from the
Brighton Congress, q fellow-passenger
undertook to draw him into converse
ton, and SO far succeeded that the
reverend gentleman asked him to what
profession he happened to belong.
"Oh," said the layman, cheerfully, 81
am in the Manchester line" "Oh,
indeed" replied DIR. Hayman, urbanely,
there is good deal of business going
on there just now, l understand" +"
"First-class," said the layman, with a
cunning smile; ''and may 1 ask what is
your line ?" ST." said the doctor,
patronizingly. with the nearest approach
to joke he was ever known to perpe-
trate. 81 am in the spiritual line.
blessed if I didn't think So" ex-
claimed his companion, knowingly /;
and putting one hand on the doctors
knee, he leaned forward eagerly and
added, with an indescribable wink,
"but 1 say, what high old price You
got gin up to-" DIR. Hayman instantly
collapsed.
HERE is another story about Horace
Greeley: On a certain occasion, as he
sat writing at his editorial desk, he
received visit from an irate man, who
spent fifteen minutes in pouring out
upon his head torrent of denunciation
to which the abused man replied not
by so much as single word. At length
the visitor, seeing that the editor could
not be induced to pay him the compli-
ment of defending himself, passed out
of the door with a growl. Thereupon
Mr.. Greeley, rising, with his pen in his
hand, and following the departing GEN.
sor, cried out "Come back, my friend,
and free your mind. Don't go off with
out entirely relieving yourself"
A SINCERE MoURNER.-The German
papers tell this story in connection with
Baron Rothschild's death. A. and b.
meeting-B., weeping and sobbing
aloud. "Says A., "Why do you weep p
because, says B., as if his heart were
breaking, "because he is dead, the
powerful, the rich baron" "But, y
replies A., "why do you cry so much
he was no relation of yours ?" ''That's
Just what am crying about" howls b.
more affected than ever.
WHEN a Tilted young man looks on
her, who is now another's, and sees that
the once 1.-the form resembles sack OF
wheat with string tied in the middle
sees the eyes that once "looked love to
eyes that spake again." bearing marks
of the uxorial bootjack or blackinP
bottle sees the five red-haired children
and the tow-headed twins, then indeed,
he may sigh and recall the poets words
the saddest 'it might have BEEN
worse, for me.
A STRANGER from the country observ.
ing an ordinary roller rule on the table,
took it up, and inquiring its use, was
answered. "It was a rule for counting.
houses" Too well bred, as he con-
structed politeness, to ask unnecessary
questions, he turned it over and over
and up and down repeatedly, and at
last, in paroxysm of baffied curiosity,
inquired, "How, in the name of wonder,
do you count houses with this ?"
A TRAVELLER in Vermont, stopping at
hotel recently, ordered supper. The
meal was a very inferior one, and at its
conclusion, which was soon reached, he
stepped up to settle for it. "Well, u
said Boniface, with alacrity, 81 hope
you had a good supper" ''Yes," re-
piled he musingly. "the supper aver.
aged first rate the butter was strong
and the tea was weak"
"MY REAL number is six, but my
hand will bear squeezing" is what she
said to the young man at the glove
counter. And the great thick-headed
lunatic got her pair of five-and-and-a q
half gloves without finding out how
much squeezing her hand would bear.
We would have worked at that job an
hour but she should have had an exact
fit.
Lucy HOOPER admires the perfect
equality in business matters which
exists between the sexes in Paris.
Women keep books, govern hotels, run
large shops and even factories, and are
often the business partners of their
husbands, and most efficient ones al
that. The Frenchwoman is indeed @
power in the land.
A GENTLEMAN, while walking in his
garden, caught his gardener asleeT
under tree. He scolded him soundly
for his laziness and ended by telling
him such q sluggard was not worthy to