Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-03-04

y CLEAR CASE-An empty ury-gooos
box.
A BOsToN journal prints directions
how to walk with safety down inclines of
plate glass showered profusely with oil. :"
The best plan is to slide off and take to
the street
SAN FRANCISCO has woman who lifts
several hundred pounds with her teeth.
She is comfortable sort of woman for
somebody not to marry. Think of the
jawing she could do without fatigue
MGlaoaukee Sentinel.
ONE EIGHTEENTH of the land in Kansas,
except few Indian reservations, is de-
voted to common schools. 1t cannot be
sold for less than three dollars per acre
1t may be paid in cash or in ten annual
payments at 10 per cent. interest.
DRY furnace heat, productive of throat
and lung disease, may be moistened by
hanging wet towel in front of the reg
lister, the lower edge of the towel being
allowed to dip in shallow vessel of
water
CLOVER has sprung up all along the
famous lines of march to the sea. The
introduction of foreign grasses was sim
ilarly commented on after the Prussian
invasion of France. Whether the clover
will supplant the Bermuda or common
grass of the South remains to be seen.
So MANY applications for divorce have
been made to the Idaho Legislature that
Mr.. Paddock has introduced bill di-
vorcing all the married people in the
Territory and placing them IN Statu quo
ante matr6mOnium. This, he says, will
save time, and those who wish can be re-
married.
TRUTH" says sage, never gets its
votaries into tangles; it imprisons no
man in the network Of his own words"
Perhaps not. But if man told the
truth when asked where he gets his
winters wood it might imprison him in
something worse than a network of his
own words.
A YOUNG bride who had been fashiona-
bly, educated was asked by her fond hus-
band to attend to the ordering of the
dinner, as he shouldn't have time to go
to market It is fact that she blandly
requested the butcher to send home " q leg
of tongue, seventeen pounds of steak and
two halibut."
GIRLS don't look behind to see if the
"young fellows" are watching them any
hot
new invention. 1t consists of a little
round looking glass, the size of half
dollar. Every once in while they adj
just stray curl and see if he "really is
looking"
BRUYERE once said "An inconsistent
woman is one who is no longer in love !;
false woman is one who is already in
love with another person; tickle woman
is she who neither knows whom she
loves or whether she loves or not, and
the Indifferent woman one who does not
love at all"
" A NOVEL and somewhat serious acct
dent" says the Sacramento (Cal.) Union,
happened at the railroad repair shops
on Wednesday noon One of the en-
ployes, Charles Gill, had placed his din
per-bucket-a patent affair." with screw
on the top-by the fire to heat his coffee,
and as he took 1t away and was about to
open it the steam that had accumulated
caused it to burst with a loud report,
throwing the scalding contents into his
face, burning his neck and face quite
badly. He received medical treatment
soon, and it was found that his hurts,
though painful, were not serious"
DIR. WILKES, in his recent work on
physiology, remarks that " it is esti
mated that the bones of every adult per
son require to be fed with lime enough
to make marble mantle every eight
months" 1t will be perceived, therefore,
that in the course of about ten years
each of us eats three or four mantle
pieces and few sets of front doOr-steps.
1t is awful to think of the consequences
if man would be shut off from his
supply of lime for while and then
should get loose in cemetery. An
ordinary tombstone would hardly be
enough for a lunch for him.-Phil0-
delphaa Bulletin.
For husband or wife to warn the
public against trusting the worse or bet
ter half has always been considered
perfectly justifable, if not altogether
delicate, proceeding; but whether it is
justifable fer a lady to advertise
recreant lover may well be doubted. In
Oswego County, N. Y, it seems to be
thought iustifable, judging from the
following notice which was sent by
maiden calling herself "Sophia Baker"
to journal in that locality for inser-
ton: Il forbid any Lady to marry Henry
smith for he is engage and sent for his
intend wife to Carthage and be has not
showed his face and if he gets married l
will arrest him and put MIN in prison or
1000 dollars fine in CASH"
The relative strength Of hand-spun
yarn rope, machine yarn rope and Rus
sian yarn rope has lately been made the