Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1875-04-09
From the Detroit Free Press
a SehooImaSter Around Loose.

From the Detroit Free Press.
A SehOOImaster Around Loose
Four or five days ago man about
forty years of age, looking as !, ne
had been drawn over a dusty moor
for an hour or two called upon one
of the members of the Board OF Ed
ucation and introducing himself as
William Cannon Harrison, of Sagl-
nav County. He was politely re-
ceived, and commenced business
promptly by saying:
81 am looking for situation as
s6hool-teacher. "
''Ah, hal" replied the member,
wondering why the man wasen't
looking for a wood-pile.
81 could have brought a pile of
recommends so high" continued the
| man, measuring with his hands, but
recommends don't amount to moth
ing" -, -
view?'' asked the member.
81 want to get in here, IN De-
troit,' replied the man. "W hat wa
ges do you pay?
esI'm afraid-'' began the mem
Der. when the schoolmaster inter-
rupted:
"Oh! well, 1 s'pose you pay go
ing wages, and that's all l can ask
d0nt want TO put on style
and live high, as 1 am getting a lee |,
tie old and ought to save money. =,
Gas 1 was going to remark,
said the member, when the school
master suddenly inquired:
"Do you allow licking in the
schools here? If they do, Pm the
man YOU want to dress the boys
} down? Tve had 'em come for m'
bv the dozen, and it would do you
heart good to see the way l lale
'em! Why, when 1 had tina
school in Bay County | though
: nothing of licking thirty scholar
> a day, besides hearing IL classes re
/ citei Pm an old screamer, tel
YOU, and there's fun in me Whel
; you get me woke up!"
81 hardly think" commence,
! the member again, when the school
) master jumped up and said:
"Of course you won't take me III
less 1 pass examination, but ham
afraid of not passing. I'd like t
see a word I couldn't spell! For IL
stance: 'Catarrh--c-a-t-a-r-r-h, c;
tarrh'; NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
! dandelion.' Or try me on wore
of four syllables: .Lugubrious,
I-u-g-u-b-r-i-o-u-s, lugubrious.' VI
I can knock the socks right off
) these swell head teachers and nf
half try!"
81 should like to help you," put
s. the member, "but--,
'sOh! you needn't think Pm b
hind on geography" interrupts
r, the teacher. 'sFor instance: Whi
: is an isthmus? An isthmus is a ma
row strip of land connecting tV
bt larger bodies. Is the world rour
or fat? Round. Why is it roun'
Because it is. Which is the large
river in the world? The Amaze
l might 90 on for seventy-fve da,
, this way, and then not tellyou ha
1 know!"
"You seem to be pretty well pos
ed in geography, but I want to tt
:,
"And on grammar tool" exclair
ed the teacher, jumping up agail
+ "What is a noun? A noun is nan
10 of any person, place or thing. Gi7
us an example Man, cat, dog, coo
We goat, jack-knife, fish-hook, gate-pos
What are the principal conjun
he tions? And, as, both, because, fc
if, that, or, nor, neither, either, al
Sc so forth, and so forth. Oh! L
right on the roof of the meetln
as house when you sling grammar
mel"
The member was getting despe
ate, and as soon as he could get
aw in a word, he said:
"I will take your name, and
m soon as vacancy"
"And 1 know arithmetic fro
hf- cover to cover!' exclaimed the ma
standing up again. I can
through the tables like lightnil
through a haystaek, and when y,
get to fractions and cube-root
AWFUL weigh ton and a hi
and still growing! Rithmetic's \
q favorite study, and I'll give you )
-0I to find man who'll saw sums
two and plane 'em down as quick
as camp
His speech took the wind out
him. and the member managed to s
there is no vacancy at present, /
he would take his name and conslc
his case as soon as one occurred:
.s sI'd like to commence right of
~ replied the man; e'but Pm willil
to wait. Here's my name, and I
mint 1 get your letter I'll Co
down a flying. If you get me y
don't get much style, but you 6
solid old common-sense and ger
inc education. You won't see sch
-, ars playing hide-and-coop arou
u. the Wood-box or marbles on the fiji
no you won'tP'
And he went down stairs.
WWT