Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-08-06
ABOUT ZOE CREAM N.

lie slipped into an ice cream saloon
very softly, and when the girl asked
him what he wanted, ne replied
Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickles,
and mince pie
"This is not a restaurant this is
an ice cream parlor," she said.
"Then why did YOU ask me what I
wanted for? Why didn't you bring
on your ice cream? ~
She went after it, and as she returned
he continued:
You see, my dear girl, you must
inler-you must reason. ltisn t like
ly that I would come into an ice cream
parlor to buy grindstonc, is it? You
did not think | came in here to ask if
you had any baled hay, did you ~
"Shc looked at him in surprise, and
he went on
If ! owned q hardware store, and
YOU came in, would infer that you
came for something in my line, |
wouldn't step out and ask you if you
wante to buy mule, would ~
She went away highly indignant.
An old lady was devouring a dish Of
cream at the next table, and the
stranger, after watching her for a
moment, called out:
"My dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dish p
"Mercy no, she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her
spoon.
"Well, I'm glad of it," he contin-
ued. :" If you find any just let ,ne
know.
She looked at him for half min
ute, picked up the spoon, laid it down
again, and then rose up and left the
room. She must have said something
to the proprietor, for he came running
in and exclaimed
"Djd YOU tell that woman there were
hairs and buttons in my ice cream ~
"No sir.
"You Iiln't?'
"No, sir, ! did not merely reQues-
ted her, in case she found any such
Ingredients to inform me -
swell, sir, that wasa mean trick. y
"My dear sir, said the stranger,
smiling softly, did you expect me to
ask the woman if she had found a
crow-bar or a aledge-hammer in her
cream 1t is impossible, sir, for such
articles to be hidden away in such
small dishes.'
The proprietor went away growing
and as the stranger quietly supned
away at his cream two young ladies
came in, sat down near him and or.
dered cream and cakes. lie waited
until they had eaten a little, and then
he remark kcd
Beg pardon, ladies, but 10 You 90.
serve anything peculiar IN the taste o
this cream?
They tasted, snackcl their lips, s,anG
were not certain.
"Does it taste to you as if plug O.
tobacco had fallen into the freezer.
he asked.
"Ah, kali" they exclaimed, drop.
ping their spoons and trying to spit
ont what they had eaten. Both rush
ed out, and it WASH t long LcGore the
proprietor rushed in.
See here, what in blazes are you
talking about he demanded. "what
do you mean by plug tobacco in the
freezer
"Kinl friend, I asked the ladies il
this cream tasted Of plug tobacco; !
don't taste any such taste, and | don
believe you used a bit Of tobacco in
it,
"Well you don't want to talk that
way around here - continued the pro
proprietor. "My ice cream is pure
and the man who says itisnt, tells a
bold ;e!'
He went away again, and a woman
with a long neck and a sad face sat
down and said to the girl that she
would take small dish Of lemon ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken
about two mouthfuls when the stranS-
er inquired
"I.xcuse me, madam, but do you
know how this cream was made
have you any idea that they grated
turnip and chalk with the cream 90
She didn't reply. She slowly rose
up, wheeled around, and made for the
door. The stranger followed after,
and by great good luck his coat tails
cleared the door an instant too soon
to be struck by five pound box Of
figs, hurled with great force by the in
dignant proprietor. As he reached
the curb s,one he halted, looked at the
door Of the parlor ana soliloquiscd
"There are times when people should
infer, and there are times when they
shouldn't. | suppose if had asked
that woman if she thought they hashed
up a saw-mill in tie cream she'd have
felt u circular saw going down hel
throat - Detroit Free Press.