The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-04-01
r.a ! r,r;no, greenb,eks-Frogs.

Spain.
Bacon's works Ham, sausage, lard, etc.
Norristo,pn Herald. ---
A ridiculous editor regrets that Washlnss'
ton had no middle name. g.. Ills
Where the shoe pinches-On the foot, OF
COURSE NorriStorn Herald
Men who never do wrong seldom do any
thing. Boston NeUs. ........., ...
Mr., Fitch's income will not pay the an
nual tax on his wife's jewels.
There are 4T3,000 more widows than
widowers 10 England and Wales.
No true woman will ever marry man so
tall that she cannot reach his hair.
A duel is very quickly managed. 1t only
takes two seconds to arrange it.
A patcnt editorial stove, which only burns
a basket of poems day, Is out.
Sweeping carpets in room containing
plants Injuries the latter.
How to get plenty Of room 10 street'car-
Eat onions. -NorrtStcwn Herald.
The ailng fee to Florida only to be met
by the wicked flra.-LoreH Courier.
The best pepper comes from Malabar, the
leost esteemed from Java and Sumatra.
II isa singular feature in nature that
mans corns are kept away from his calves.
Who ever saw old age that did not applaud
the past and condemn the present times!
The Burlington Houkeye calls the furtive
Redpa,h "a remorselcss lecture tiend.''
A fusbon-writcr says the latest style Of la
dies glove comes up to the funny-bone.
The Shreveport Times makes special men
ton Of Texas gentleman who paid part of
an old debt without being asked TO do so.
"Small Talk" of Louisville, drew 50 in
the lottery. and has been on spree ever
since Washington Chronicle.
Castor oil is said to preserve machinery
belts from cracking and from the attacks of
vermin.
This year is the year for the seventeen.
year locusts. SO was last year and the year
before. -LoUeI Journal.
A Milwaukee benevolent society carries
banner worth $3.50 instead Of giving it to the
poor.--.Danburaan
Whether or not bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush depends upon the nature OF
the bird.
A soft answer turncth away wrath, but we
lose patience with people who are continu.
ally asking soft questions.
Bancroft has been made honorary member
of thirty European clubs, counting cricket
and baseball Ner Orleans Republican.
Jchu C. Fremont doesn't part bis nair in
the middle auy more. But he probably would
if he wasn't ld.-R0chester Democrat
An EuglisLman having been solicited to
ioin Black Hills expedition replied that
< il is better 10 bear the hills we ave than TO
fly 10 Rothcls we know not h'of."
The surgeons say they can plough through
the flesh of person with wbltc.hot iron
without causing pain. II you don't believe
it, try ton surgeon.
The Ohio Legislature refused TO change a
mans name TO "John Smith" on the ground
that there is already one John Saith in that
State.
Beecbcr boasts thst at the age of sixty-two
lie can rcad without glasses the finest print;
but he makes other people read great deal
OF very coarse flnl.-G0WRc.
1t is indeed painful to see drunken man
try to play sober. Especially so when he
says he can lick you because he owes you
lorty.three ccnts.-Dan6urtdn.
All the Nebraska aid societies need now is
wheat, and corn, aud potatoes enough to
plant 100000 acres, and about $4,000 in
casb.-DetroH Press.
4 machine for hewiug down large feet
would he good hit for some enterprisng
boot and shoe-dealer here Charlotte
Leader.
An Illinois judge has decided thata young
man who pays his board has Il right to fiddle
in his room all day and all mig BIT if he choose.
NcD Orleans Republican.
A ST. Louis ergeant-of-police froZe to
death few nights ago while making his
rounds. This is another awful commentary
on The foolish custom Of closing saloons at IL
O'Clock. Milpaukie Ne,Cs.
Unless those New York lawyers exercise
discretion in the trial Of Tilton
they will he in danger of getting Beechcr
mixed I'D with this Brooklyn business
Worcester Press.
Zen, DulItT talhS vi SOlHS iulo lno inuioo
trv, and has already entered into discus
sion as to whether he shall be permitted to
pass the plate himself.-Rochester Demo-
crat. 3D..
Eugene Crabtrce, brother Of the sprghtly
and otherwise fascinating Lolita, is bar.
tender of a st. Joseph [Mo.) saloon. Evi.
IDENTIFY bis sister absorbed all the talent in the
family.-Rocheste, Democrat T..
A magazine contributor writes his name
,Jupius Henri Brown. He will never be
chosen captain ina speling-match as long
az he spells John Henry Brown in such d
ridiculous NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Herald.
Did you ever stand and watch beautiful
woman, and wonder how so angelic 4 crea.
ture could have fallen from the skies, then
suddenly observe her blow her nose without
having your wonderment cease - Whitehall
Times. % " 1.@
An old lady on Carondeet street who list
ened to neighbor complaining of The tooth
ach, very compl4cently observed: 81
never have the toothache: / allus cut my
fiDger.nails on Saturday."-Neto Orleans
Bulletin.
We take fendish pleasure in knowing
that the followers of St. Patrick will to-day
aveuge some of our wrongs. Their process.
sion will stop the horse.cars, and the latter
will lose ever so much money.-Ne,D York
Matt.
II u n 4