Union and American. [volume] (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1875-1877, 1875-12-09
The Jeneses, whe Always Kept April

Is'oEa 1lfs Old man down tos tile
baby, the Jones mouth was con
tinnally stretched with good hui
NOR.
Yes, all the Joneses loved jokes
and neglected no opportunity to
enjey them at othels expense.
For the last week, every one of
the Jones have been counting the
days to the 1st of April, though the
subject has never been mentioned
in the family. Each thought the
other would forget 1t, and that he
or she would have some fun and
fool the rest. And as the Joneses
lived five miles out on the Warsaw
road these little pleasantries are
as fresh as the pure air around
them. Old man Jones is a sly old
fox, and knows heap more than
Tom and Bob, his sons, Maria, the
old woman, or both his daughters.
Last night all the Joneses went
to bed each laughing themselves to
Sleep as they thought of the Well
laid plans for the mornings sport
About half past one clock this
morning, old man Jones came to
Bob's room in his red flannel draw
ers, carrying a candle IN one hand
and shading it with the other.
SBob, Boo" he said to the. sleep
ing young man, wake up, saddle
the horse as fast as you can, and
go to town for Dr.. Your mo-
ther is very sick. Tell him to
come right out. Hurry up, and
don't lose any time"
Bob sprang up like fllial son,
and his clothes were on in a twink
ling. The herse was saddled and
away he went out in the bitter cold.
air in a gallop. The mud flew
thick, his fingers were stinging
and his feet freezing, but on to
town he came at break-neck speed.
The old man went back to bed.
When Bob arrived at DIS
he made night hldeous with his
loud knocks at the front door.
The dogs barked, the chickens
crowed. The people living in that
neighborhood got up and looked
at the clock, and more life was
manifested generally in that neigh
borhood that was ever known be-
fore at such an earl y hour.
At last the doctor got up and
came to the front door in his shirt
and drawers. Rob delivered his
message and the letter. Ehe doc
tor broke the seal, and theagh he
shivered with cold so that he could
scarcely hold out the paper, yet it's
contents were SO plainly written 1t
required but a moment to read
them, as they consisted of bnt two
words, april fool
The doctors jaw fell, his knees
smote together, his teeth chattered,
and he raised his eyes to Bob, who
was covered with mud and stamp
ing TO keep his feet from freezing,
he silently gave him the letter.
Bob gazed on it brit a moment
till he vas struck with conviction.
He looked at him, he extended his
hand, 50 -uTd the doctor. 1lfey
mournfully wagged each others
clumsy clasp, and Bob slowly
walked down the front steps as the
doctor shut the door.
When old Jones went to bed he
fairly chuckled with delight; and
when he went to bed, Tom Jones
got up, and he chuckled too.
In a quarter OF an hour old man
Jones was aleep, and Tom ready to
wake him and everybody else.
He had tied about twenty papers
to a long pole and thoroughly
soaked them in kerosene. Touch
ing a match to them he ran through
the house with the blazing mass.
Rushing in the old mans room he
Whisked it across his nose and
yelled afire, fire." at the top of his
voice, and then darted into every
bedroom in the house. which rang
with the same fearful information
Blinded by the blaze and smoke,
old man Jones rushed to the door,
closely followed by Mrs. Jones.
At the head of the stairs, as he
sprang down he tumbled over a
tub of ice water, which followed
him all the way to the bottom,
where he was just in time to re-
ceive Mrs. Jones, who came down
end over end, and who alighted
square on Mr.. Jones head as he
was getting up on his hands and
knees.
The daughter joined the family
circle in her night clothes, and the
hired man opened the door closely
followed by the dog. The dog
saw the struggle of the Joneses
and went at 'em by instinct. The
girls screamed at the hired man
and shut their eyes, while Tom
kept yelling fire and beating the
tin wash boiler in the kitchen to
keep things lively.
Finally order was restored as
Tom shrieked "ApriL fooIr' and
slid out the back gate, to spend
the balance of the night in the
house of a friend.
The old man changed his clothes,
and with his wife went back to
their room, where they engaged
themselves rubbing linement and
arnica till daylight.
About breakfast time a man
came in hot haste from the city,
with a carriage from Robinson's
stable. He broke the news as
he could, but he told them that if
they wished to see poor Bob alive,
they must instantly get into the
carriage and drive as fast as horse
flesh would carry them to the Ives
House. For when Bob was going
for the doctor the horse threw him
just rs he reached the city, and he
was dying. Away went the car
riage and the Joneses, the tears of
1emorse streaming down old Jones
checks, and floods of sorrow burst
ing the heart ofevery Jones in the
vehicle.
Tho carriaOa dashed ma, fa the