davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-12-17
THREE FRIENDS OF MINE.
From new volume Of poems by Henry W. Long
fellow.

From new volume Of poems by Henry W. Long
fellow.
l.
When remember them. those friends Of mine,
Who no longer here. the noble three.
Who half my life were more than friends to me,
And whose discourse was like \ generous wine,
most of all remember the divine
something, that shOne in them and made us see
The archetypal man. and what might be
The amplitude OF natures first design
In vain stretch my hands to clasp their hands;
l cannot find them. Nothing now is left
But majestic memory They. meanwhile,
Wander together in Elysian lands,
Perchance remembering me, who am bereft
OF their dear presence, and, remem bering, smile
In Attica thy birthplace should have been,
Or the lOnian Isles, or where the seas
Encircle in their arms the Cyclades,
So wholly Greek vast thou in thy serene
And childlike joy OF life, o Philhelene
Around thee would have swarmed the Attic bees.
Homer had been thy friend, or Socrates,
And Plato welcomed thee TO his demesne
For thee old legends breathed historic breath;
Thou sawest PosidOn in the purple sea,
And in the sunset Jason's fleece Of goldi
Oh what hast thou to do with cruel Death,
Who vast SO full Of life or DEATH with thee
That thou shouldst die before thou hadst grown
old.
stand again on the familiar shore.
And hear the waves Of the distracted sea
Piteously calling and lamenting thee,
And waiting restlessly at thy cottage door.
The rocks. the sea weed on t e ocean floor,
The willows in the meadow, and the free
Wild winds Of the Atlantic welcome me;
Then why shOuldst thou be dead, and come no
more!
Ah why shouldst thou be dead, when common
Are busy with their trivial affairs,
Having and holdngs Why, when thou hadst
read
Natures mysterious manuscript. and then
Vast ready to reveal the truth it bears.
Why art thou silenti Why shouldst thou be
dead?
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

The pretty maid OF nonor whom the Grand
Duke Alexis married all unbeknownst to the
old folks, appears to be as spunky as she is
beautiful Alexis, it will be remembered,
was sent to America that he might forget her,
but while that plan cured the Grand Duke,
it didn't appease his bride, who was sent out
of the empire by special train. She went to
Geneva and recently it appears that Count
proposed that she should renounce all claim
TO the hand of Alexis, should change her
name and disappear. In return for this SER
vice she would receive 100000 rCubles
down, and an nannuity of $4,000 ,oubles, which
would be continued to her child in case the
latter survived her; but Mrs. Alexis wouldn't
do it, She loved Alexis too much for that,
and so matters stand at present.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06
BUDGET OF FUN.

One of our oldest citizens called on us,
Friday morning. He came in rather heavily
and dropping into Il chair, put his hands on
his knees, and looked earnestly at us
Are your water pipes frozen, he asked
after pause.
No
That's singular, for last night was about as
cold as any we've hao, an | have had the
greatest time with the pipes up at the house
that you can imagine ] knew IL was going
to be an old buster at bedtime, an so went
down cellar an turned off the water This
mornin' | went down and turned it on again,
but not Il drop could we get It's the nrst
time have had any trouble with them pipes
since they were put IN the house, an lelt
real sore over it. But they must be thawed
out at any rate, an the old woman an set
about 1t. | went over to one OF the hcigh,
bor's who's got a well, an lugged over pail
full, and the Old woman billed it, an trleu
that on the pipe, but 1t didn't seem to DO a
bit of good Then went over to the well
an got enough water to fill the biler, an we
heated that about as hot as water can be made,
an pourcd every bit Of it over the pipe,
but neither that didn't amount TO anything.
tell YOU was scared then, and for awhile
we could only look at each other, an speker-
late as To the cause of the failure. Pretty
soon my nephew from Mill Plain drove in,
an when told him the row, he said that if
we'd put wooden cloth about the pipe an
then pour on the hot water, it wonld take eff
feet al once. We did that The old woman
wrapped up the pipe, an went after another
biler of water an the road was so slippery
that it seemed as If I'd never get back with
it, Well, we billed that, too, and we poured
it slowly on the cloths, an if there was any
frost there it must have come then. But 1t
oidnt. Not drop would come. I'm blam-
ed if l know what's the matter with the
blasted pipe But do know that I'm clean
tuckered out with this mornln' job an abOdt
dlsgustcd with KohanZa water. It's mighty
queer you have saved your pipes
What makes you think your pipes are
frozen" we asked.
"Frozen' he exclaimed, with some disgust
What On car,h would | be takln all this
trouble for if they amt froZen?'
TO be sure; but there was serious break
in the Main street main, last evening" and the
water commissioners shut off the water at
10 O'Clock, and we didn't know but that the
water was not
'Godforultusr he suddenly gasped, bound
! ing out of his chair Il soc It all now For
heaven sake keep 1t out of the paper, and
|he bOlteu down stairs like shOt-ErchdRge.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06
mark rwaiu on a Dentists shop.

Mark Twain, in his new book about Eng
land, tells how he had the toothache one
night in London, and gives some pleasing re-
collections of the dentist shop which he was
wont to patronize when he lived in Elmira.
He says: 'One night that tooth did jump and
everytime it jumped it raised my head right
off the pillow. How did lie awake and
think about that dentists shop in Elmira,
where | had been under torture so many
times-of those pretty dental instruments so
polished and so cold, How l did long 20
lay my cheek against one-one OF those Short
thick, heavy, twisted chaps, with the bow
legged, fluted and curved handles and short
haw s.bill jowas. How reveled in delight
at the thought of having such thing clutch
my refractory tooth and 'yank it, WIN
what pleasurable emotions came crowding
into nay mind the recollectlons OF that den
tist and his room and its fixtures-his big
easy.chair, with the pretty white-curtalncd
window before it, and the nice, big, redglass
spitton to the lett, with the hole in the bot
tom, and the bits of wet cotton and the bright
pieces of gold and streams OF bloodstain
on the sides. And then the pretty little bu-
rcau, with the bottles on the top and
the little yellow drawers which he jerks out
so gently when seeking for some new and
more delicate instrument OF torture. And
then the beautiful little round, vclvet-covered
stand on the gas fixture, covered with the nice
drills and pretty files, and the lovely little
crowbars with the stained ivory handles, and
the long steel crochet needle with which he
hunts for new cavities, and the little round
pasteboard box full of gold plugs, and the
dirty little napkin and the rubber ball syr-
inge, and the singular smell of his thumb,
and all that Oh, how nice"
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

There are two gentlemen IN this CITY, broth
ers, well known as men.about-town. We will
call them Bill and jim. Bill shutters little.
Said Jim one day: Bill, want you to go
with me and see Scotch terrier He is the
greatest ratter in this city. We must have that
dog IN 60 said Bill. They went. The
terrier was brought out and Il rat was loosen.
ed with him. To fulfill the character as
scribed to him the terrier should have dis
patched a certain number Of rats within one
minute. But a single rat seemed to fully a
match for him. Indeed, the longer they
fought the more it looked as if the rat would
prove the better of the two The dog shook
and the rat bit, but the rat seemed to bite the
hardest Finally Bill broke out: 'J-JJ-Jim,
SAID he, 'b-bb,buy the rat,'-Ne,c York Sun
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

Roosters, says Josh Billings, are the pugll
lists among birds, and, having no suitable
shoulder to strike from, they strike from
the heel When a rooster gets whipped,
the hens all march off with the other rooster,
If he amt hatf so big or hanson. 1t is pluck
that wins hen. BOOSTERS, as class, won't
do emmy household work; you kant git a
rooster tn pay cny attention tew young one,
They spend most of their time in Growing
and once in Il while they find worm, which
they make great fuss over, calling their
wives up from distance, apparently to treat
them but jst as the hens GIT thare, this ele-
giant cuss bends over and gobbles up the
worm. JiSt like man for all the world.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

Madam said polite traveller to tcsty
old landlady, IF | see proper to help myself
to this milk is there any improprie'y in it?
Il don't understand what you mean; but il
you mean that there is anything nasty in that
milk, I'll give you to understand you've
struck the wrong house. There amt the first
HAIR in it, for as soon as Dorothy Ann told
me that the kitten was drowned in the milk,
| went right straight and strained il over
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

Here Is a good s,ury 'ha, Rev. DR.. ADAMS
tells on himself; A lady parishioHer once
remarked TO him that ms srIm"ns were lit
Tie too long 'Dnu't YOU think So, Dr.: Adams,
said she, just little" 'Ah, gooE sister,
said he, Il am afraid ynu don't Ike the sin
cere milk of the word 'Nrs, | do said
she; but yoa knew the fashion p-wadays !:
condensed milk
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

A ncar-sighted man was riding in Wood
ward avenue car, the other day when lady
opposite bowed to him. he returned the bow,
raised his hat, smiled s@eetly, and was just
wondering who she was, when she came over
and whispered in his ear: oh! III fix you
for this, old manr Then he knew it was his
wifc-Detroit fbvc Press.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

4 lady of Washington county, New York,
is a mother of large family OF children, and
they are all rather dimInuiiYe' a few days
after the birth of the Youngest a little niece
of the lady called to see that baby. After
looking at the tiny specimen Tor a lew MN
ntps. The lille clri said: Aunt Maria, don't
YOU think i, would be- brtirr to have less OF
'em, aud have 'em birg ~
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

An amateur florists nextdoOr neighbor
buried a rat in tiower.pot, leaving the tail
protrudlng from the earth and trained TO
stick, and then presented it TO him as rare
specimen of cactus. The lover of flowers
carefully watched and walered his new ac'
uuisi,ion for several days, but at last his wife
pulled the thing up by the roots, and he dis
continued friendly relations with the joker.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06
The Other Side.


There's where man has the advantage.
He can undress in cold room and have his
|bed warm before a woman has got her hair
pins out and her shoes united
That's how 1t looks in print, and this Is
how it is In reality: I'm going to bed, my
dear. It's halfpasl ten No reply. Now,
John, you know you're always late in the
morning. Do go to beGn Yes, in minute,
he replies, as he turns the paper wrong side
out and begins lengthy article headed,
'Thc Louisiana Mudde.' Fifteen minutes
Later she calls from the bedroom John,
come to bed, and not keep the gas burning
here all night and murmuring something
about the bill beng big enough now, she
.creeps between the cold sheets, while John
sits placldly on, his feet across the piano stool
and cigar in his mouth. By-and-by he
Rises, yawns, stretches himself, throws the
paper on the floor, and scizing the shaker,
proceeds to that vigorous exercise, shaking
The coal stove. Just at tins stage not alto
gether pleasant voice inquiries: For PHYS
sake! ain you ready for bed yet" Yes, yes,
] IN coming. Why don't you 60 to sleep and
let a fellow aloneY
Then he discovers that there's coal need
ed. When that is supplied and ratified into
he stove he sits down to warm his feet. Next
he slowly begins to undress, and as he stands
scratchlng himself and absenty gazing on
he last garment, dangling over the back of
chair, he remembers that the clock is not
wound yet When that is attended to he
wants drink of water, and away he prone
nades to the kitchen OF course, when he
returns his skin resembles that OF picked
chicken, and once more he seats himself be
fore the fire tor last warm up AS the
clock strikes twelve he turns out the gas, and
with flop of the bed clothes and new spas
nodic shiver he subsides-no, not yet; he
orgot to see if the front door was locked, ard
another flop of the bed clothes brings forth
he remark: Good gracious II that man
amt enough to try the patience OF Jobn Set
ing her teeth hard she awaits the final flop,
with its accompanying blast of cold air, and
hen quietly enquiries if he is settled for the
hight, to which hereples by muttering: IF
you ala't the proyokingcst woman '-DetroH
Free Press,
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

REASONS FOR DRINKTNG.-OId Samoo
bhute, long ago across the dark valley, was
worthy man in his way, and genial withal,
but Sambo would occasionally get very
|lrunk. One day his employer took him to
task, and read him lecture, at the close OF
which he asked him If he didn't think he
tould do better for the future.
'Don'o, mas'r,' said the darkcyl scratching
bis head.
'Bnt what do you think"
We'll, mas'r, is aiear'd tink not
'Sambo, what do you mean? Do you mean
'ou will not tryg
'Twouldn't be of no use, mas'r. Fact Is,
twas born In me. Rum is my nat'raf drink.
Ger gee, afore | was born, my father and
mother were boff bought on de coast OF AT
tcs, and paid for in rum
This is about equal to the excuse OF the
bid fellow in New Hampshire bar-room 1t
WAS eleven O'Clock in the forenoon, and a
humber of thirsty cnes had entered the tav,
ern for their beverage; and they all entered
bn excuse for thus indulging One SAID he
had pain in his side; another had severe
cold; and 50 on, and so on. At length red
faced old Trojan stumped up to the bar, hay-
ing listened 10 the excuses of the Others, ana
bald he;
Say, ole hoss, give US glass of old Ja-
|naica, stiff. My old woman's goin' to have
goldfish for dinner, and Goldfish alters makes
be dry
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

Serrano was sipping his chocolate. Bad
news, your highness, said messenger, the
Army Of the North will proclaim Alfonso
'Ah! the only possible solution said Ser
rano. And he went on slipping his chocolate
His sun had set dis son had risen.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

\ most shameful trick was played lately
upon lover at Terre Haute by his rival. The
generous woccr had procured package OF
gum doops to present to his Angelina dear:
but the other man maliclously substituted
therefor paper of white beans. 1t was no'
until O'Clock in the morning that matters
were explained and reconciliation effected
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

INIrS Al s., I;'IoTI.FM NI'.--EsrsTR OF
L STEPHEN CLAYTON, DECXD.-NOtcc Is hereby given
all persons Interested In said estate that the undersigned
executors OF the last will ana test men of stephen Gay
ton deceased viii appear before the County Court OF the
county La Sale and state OF Illinois, at the Court House
in Ottawa, IN said county, Mond'y the Sth day oil
March 1915 for the purpose Of rendering an account
of their proceedings Their administration OF shd estate LOT
the final settlement
Dated al ottawa this 9TH day OF February 1876.
JAMES {. REYNOLDS,
JOHN :. CLAYTON
icl,,l Exc shtors
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

An old Bourbon war horse was in the cOun-
try Wednesday, and while in town heard the
news from Tennessee. Here, Lie he said
to his wife, drive home, and dent look for me
fore Saturday nj ght I'm going to celebrate.
JeslIss has been done at last. The good old
time is returnln' Andy Jackson has been
elected again Hoop! hooray! I'm on it
bigger'n a terbacker tactory.-NtSsoult
BrunSrtcker
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

California item in Milwaukee Ne,rs They
got Wah Using, California heather, on the
gallows the other day, with rope around his
neck and he inquired of William Nye, the
Sheriff; 'ChOkee like h-llY Has,' said
William, 'chokee, you bet,' and then they
dropped him.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

III Al, - IC'f"I'I EN- 4; ~ l'.---EsTATE OF
L JAMES IOLEHAS, DECKA AsRD.Notlce is hereby given
all persons interested in said estate, That William -
Easton Administrator of the estate Of Jane. Hoiehan,
deceased viii appear before he County Court or e conn.
ty of La Sale aud OF Illinois, at the { unity Court
House in ottawa said county Monday, the nineteenth
day April 1870 for the purpose OF rendering an &C
his proceedings the administration o salu cS-
tatG for the lna settlement.
Dated at Ottawa this 10th day OF Jlnnary 1875.
WM. s. EASrON.
ATTEST: II. A. MCCNEB. Administrator.
CLERK Comfy Court La sale Co. Ill. feUl3
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

When you can't think of what your wife
charged you to bring home get hairpins.
They are always handy in the house. Get
Them out of your pocket without breaking
he package. \ stray heirpin may some
lines wreck a household. A young man
hook home a hair-pin, one evening last week,
to his wife. He presented 1t to her as a birth.
Iiay gift She was delighted, until she found
h long hair attached to- Il. Hls doctor thinks
|he may possibly recover the use of his eyes,
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

Ben Billings stole cattle and then lied
about it, so his friends took him out and per
formed a sergical operation on him from
which he never recovered, is tbe way the
death of Nebraska msa is recorded in a
local paper.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

lTINAL - Ec'I''I'I EN- H IcNrr.--EsTATE OF
4 VALENTINE DoLIFR, DEop.-Notice Is hereby given TO
all persons Interested In sad estate that william Sv, Ex
ecutor the las viii and testament of said Valentine
Doder deceased will appear before the County Court OF
i v rTInS y w. m IN 0ttawa in e , ., oty an Momdsy ahs
nineteenth day Of April 1879, for the purpose OF
dprng account e Ills oceedngs in the administration
of SAID estate tor the final set lement.
Dated at Ottawa llts 18th day Of February 1915.
WILLIAM SLY.
ATTRsT: II. A. McCALEB, Executor.
Clerk CouAty Court La Sale Co. iebs1.&w
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

AC,SpIp.TE FOR THE PosTOFFICE--Tha,
was an irrevereut youth who, to his aged
parent desiring to retire from the retail trade
and take government position, sald: iou
n the postofficei Nice old party YOU'D be
m the postoffic1. What could you do in the
|postoffice EXCEPT stand in the doorway with
your meu,h open tor folks 10 No: postage
stamps on your tongue"
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

NOTiCE.-The annual meeting OF the stockholders
~ of the Illinois River Bridge Company will be held at
the office the National city Rank Tuesday. March
9th, 1873, at 10 O'Clock AN. ED. c. ALLEN,
Ottawa Feb. 2ith, iS15.2w Secretary.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

BEWARE of spurious needles, poor SIX, twist, Dsa on
etc. uhich HDiy render TIE beI Dachis dsfeSN m I s
cotton thread and oilall of superior Quay-Dn wncl
can be relied only when obtained through our tlp"
or Branch Oflce. tco-'
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06

.CUAKDIA N's- SAIIE-STATE OF ILL
VI NOIS LA Sale cOun'y.-ss
BY virtue decre order OF the County Court Of said
county the February of said Court 1875
the application OF Timohy Nee r,hy Guardian OF John
Mccarthy sell the following described real es ate
bel, nging said minor IN the county OF La Sale
and OF Illinois to wit The undivided onetourth OF
the following described property situated In the west half
the northwest uarcr OF section 2S township 80 north
IN range OF the Sd principal meridian described as
fOOWS Beginning ut the northwest OF said quar-
ter section thence south 10 chains thence east along the
south line said quarter 20 chains thence north alog the
east line of half OF said quarter section 10 dafs
thence west II chains and links thence north ~ chains
chains and y links a0ng the north line OF said
ion to the place OF beginnings said tract being known
lot Id the plat OF partition bctN cen the heirs OF Michael
Mccarthy dcceascr sO undivided one'inurth OF the
following described tract o! land VIZ Lot % In the north
quarter section two IN township thirty nve norr
In ge three east OF the thTd principal meridian Il shall
on 18th day Of March D. Sj AZ the hour of O'Clock
r. NJ sell all the interest said minor In ana 70 the said
thn south door OF the Conaty Court House, in
the City OfOttawa in said county.
Terms Of sale as follows Cash In hand on day OF SALE
TIMOTHY MCCARTHY,
feb20Sw Guardian oI John Mccarthy.
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06
DMIN NIST'RATOR'S SALE OF
"A ZEAL ESTATE,

FINAL %ETTL F,M cN cNT.--EsrATK OF
L PATRcA BURKE, DECEAsrD.-Notcei is hereby given
all persons nrested ssd estate that Margaret Burke
and John Bu ke Executors of the last will and testament
oi said ParckT turke deceased will appear before he
Comfy Court OF the county OF La Sae and state Of ILL
nois. a the County Court House in Ottawa, said county
Monday, the nin tenth day OF April 1875 for the
purpose CT rendering account of their proceedings In
The admnistra IN OF said estate for the final settlement
Dated at Ottawa this 10Th day OF February 1915
MARGARET BURKE
JOHN BURKE,
ATTEST: II. A. MCCAlEB Executors.
Clerk County Court, La Sale CO., III. feb2T.iw
The Ottawa free trader., 1875-03-06
OFFICE OF
THE SINGER
Manufacturing Company,
8 Madison Street, P. 0. Block,
OTTAWA, ILLINOIS.

In order to introduce the SINGER MACHINE SILKS, we
" will sell
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-07-30
An Internal Town.

Theodore Hale has named his brim-
stone mine situated in Humboldt county
Inferno" and has located and laid out
a town around it bearing the same clas-
sic appellation. The new town is sup
piled with numerous avenues, alleys, etc. a,
with names corresponding with that of
the town. For instance the stream near
it is called "River Styx," the pass III
the canyon is denominated Hellgate;"
the streets are known as Devils avenue,
Birthstone lane, Whisky alley, Imps'
promenade, etc. The prominent places
of resort are the Robbers Roost, "
Murderers' Retreat" "Palace Infer
no, and Devils Deligh There be-
ing no wood or coal to be had in the
town, the fires are made entirely from
birthstone or sulphur produced from the
mines. The stream near the town, called
Styx, is not stream of water, as one
might suppose, but of melted sulphur
sulphur cocktails, birthstone punches,
and potassium lemonades. We regret TO
state that the entire town of Inferno, at
the sulphur mines, was destroyed by fire
last Tuesday. The fire originated in
Palace Inferno, which was built entirely
of birthstone, like all the other buildings
in the place. There being no water or
Babcock fire-extinguishers in town, the
burning element melted, and running
along Devils avenue and Imps' prom
enade, set fire to Murderers' Retreat, and
from thence all over town, which was
soon reduced to n veritable lake of fire
and birthstone. "-HumbolH (NeU.)
ReQiSter.