The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-03-26
GOSSIP


dug and thawed the mains,
And hired la aboress true,
And paid them for IL, too.
And when we came to view,
She'd busted fourteen times.
Spring vegetables can not be expected
yet, but 1t 10 getting almost time for bon
net bills.
While many people do not like the
spring freshets, the bridges are quite car
ried away with them.
The one thing needful for the perfect
enjoyment of love is confidence. Same
with hash and sausage.
Marx Twain secured 81, 200 tor the poor
by recent lecture. Who'd have thought
there'd ever be humorists in Heaven.
Ii there is ever another war Kentucky
can arm her entire force of militia with
rifles that Daniel Boone once carried. :
"Ouida, "says an exchange, "has never
been married." How in the name OF
common sense, then, can she be Ouida?
Cross-eyed foreigners have a stronger
wish to become citizens than others.
Their greatest desire is two natural
eyes.
One of the rules of Rhode Island base
ball club is that no man shall make a
count by knocking his ball into Massa-
chusetts.
AS marrying. a second wife while the
first is alive is termed bigamy, it has
been decided to call marrying three or
more Brighamy. e
"My lecture,D said California orator,
'swill be brief" A turniphit him al that
instant, and he announced, "The meeting
stands adjOurnedw
"The fools are not all dead yet" says
the Louisville Courier-Journal. From
which we infer that the Courier-Journal
still has some subscribers.
An Iowa station agent, who wanted to
use red lantern, but had no globes,
wrote to the superintendent to send him
gallon OF red signal oil.
A postal card picked up in the street
at Norwich, Conn.,, the other day, bore
this solemn appeal: "Deer mary for luy
OF God send me a pare of pants"
Spurgeon will not come to the United
states, but the good example resets in
| smoking will nevertheless be initiated
IRON New York to San Francisco.
That was mean man out in Kansas
that took the gold filings out of his
wife's teeth the other day and sold them
| to a pawnDrsker to buy collar for his
dog.
A Nevada man who had seven. homely
daughters got u paper to hint that he had
seven kegs filled with gold in his cellar,
and every girl was married in five
months.
'See," said sorrowing wife, chow
peaceful the Cat and the dog are" eyes,
said the petuiant husband, "but just tie
them together, and then see how the fur
will fly"
A young lady in neighboring town is
engaged to be married to a gentleman
named Homer Place, and you can judge
tor yourself whether she thinks 'sthere's
no Place like Homer' not.
Spelling matches are getting to be all
| the rage. They tried one in Richmond
but when one of the members of the Vir
ginia Legislature spelled country with !;
tx" they we're discontinued.
A West End man woke his wife, the
other night, and in startled tone Of
voice informed her that he had swal-
lowed a dose Of strychnine. "Well, you
fool" taid she, 'lie still, or it may come
up"
"Spelling matches amuse the young
people OF Ohio" say an exchange. 1T
is easy enough to spell matches, ant the
exercise is not at all amusing after The
word has been put together for q few
times.
A little girl asked minister: "Do you
think my father viii 20 to heaven ?"
"Why, yes, my child. Why do you ask ~
"Well, because if he don't have his own
way there he won't stay long, INwas
thinking"
A Board of Trade man in this city re-
Gently married, snubbed his relations
and friends, and invited to the wedd ng
all the leading jewellers of the city. All
but two came, and half of them brought
presents.
Nevada brides won't stand much fool
ishness at wedding. Recently one OF
them while going up the isle of the
church stopped shert, and kicked all the
skin off the shins Of a groomsman who
trod on her trail.
A scientist has just appeared who says
he can tell tAe origin and history OF a
people by simply looking at their feet.
He thinks that the site of the present
city OF st. Louis must have once been oc-
cupied by elephants.
Prof. Leidy has discovered that the
common house fly is afflicted with para
sites. The attention OF Mr.. Bergh is
called to this matter, in the hope that he
will devise some plan for furnishing our
flies with tine-to0th combs.
A Griffin young man was out calling
the other evening, ana when he started
home he left the room by the wrong door,
and bowed himself down the cellar
stairs, reaching the bottom in chaos OF
pickle jars, cracked plates, mackerel
kits, and an empty cider barrel.
Helen M. Cooke writes that "kisses on
her brow are the richest diadem a
woman's soul aspifes." And yet a fellow
who kisses lady on her brow Willie
her rosy lips are making motions like a
patent clothes wringer, is not the man
for the position.
In a Baltimore theater bear-or the
semblance of One-stole across the stage
toward the sleeping heroine of the play.
A little fellow in the audience, painfully
|appreciatiye Of her peril, shouted at the
top OF his squeaky voice, "Wake up, Miss,
the bears comin'v'
The English preacher, whose fashion
able congregation drew many pickpock-
cts, mentioned just before the service
that there was an All-Seeing Eye to
which there was mo secrets, and also
there were half dozen detectives in the
house.
Jones got mad at his wife the other
night when he thought he heard burglars
in the house. She wouldn't let him go
down in any more than the single gar
ment he had on, lest, if he should get
stabbed, she'd have to mend hole in
his.pants.
The ruling passion is strong in death.
One of our loveliest ladies slipped and
fell on Fourth street, yesterday, bring.
ing down a boot-black amid the ruin.