The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-05-03
GOSSIP.
All nature sings at
Springs command;
NO more does winter


NO more does winter
Boss the lana.
Did the minute men belong to the "Old
Sixty -secondp
Any man can be lightning calculator
If he has mind to.
When man in Maine pounds his wife
with flat-iron he is supposed TO be in
sane.
Dame Fashion is loosening the cords
OF the kettledrum and trying hard 10 un.
do tho horrld snares!
They say that the only thing that was
warm at the centennial dinner at Lex.
ngton was the ice cream.
Daniel Boone's rifles number 1856 thus
tar, with four States yet to hear from.
His powder-horns just fill barn.
The Milwaukee thieves complain that
the gas there Is SO wretchedly bad that
it doesn't afford them light enough to
steal tho lamps.
A girl in Illinois offers herself as a
prize, to be taken by the unmarried man
most successful at aspelling match. Ii
is direct bid for missing.
There are no lightning-rod peddlers
nor lille INSURANCE agents in China, and
consequently there is not much demand
tor shot guns and cross dogs,
1t is an i'll wind that doesn't bring
some consolation with it. We found
two of our neighbor's chickens frozen to-
death in our lettuee-bed Monday.
"a New Jersey politician, who acci-
dentally drank from the wrong bottle
with friend, is~on of the few men In
America who knows how horse liniment
tastes.
The man who moves to the country to
enjoy quiet lie on q farm, and yells at
a yoke of steers when plowing SO loud
you can hear him six miles, has a strange
idea OF quietude,
Another ship-load Of fashionables
came from Florida yesterday. They all
have strawberry stains on their hands,
and the unhealthiest looking pocket
books Imaginable.
Wilkesbarre, Pennsylvania, has hard
luck. 1t has been ascertained that in
eight million years from now the entire
town will have sunk below the present
surface of the earth.
John, John, wake up, there's bur-
glar in the house," said the wife. Jonn
sat upright in bed. "Burglar, burg
l-e-r, burglar" and lie rolled over, wait
ing for a harder word.
4 That Baltimore girl worth sixty thou
sand dollars, who warts to marry a
young mechanic, is referred to a.well-
known Danbury man-the inventor of
the Magic Onion Peeler.
"Charley, DEAR" said she, glancing
mischievously at her affianced, ''do you
think you'd ever be caught hanging pc
lures in your night clothes 2" mo, love"
Charley, III don't wear sem."
Six and half feet of bride stood be-
fore the altar in Paris church the other
day and promised to love, cherish and
obey three feet and a quarter of BRIDE
groom; and that's the long and short Of
1t.
At Monaco, a gentleman came to the
roulette table and put down his hat full
of gold pieces. Another said to him.
"Beg your pardon. sir, but could you
favor me with the address of your hat
terp
One Of our prominent plumbers, who
has started with his wife on q tour 10
enjoy the fortune he has accumulated the
past winter, Inadvertently registered at
a fashionable hotel as "Samuet Solder
and tender"
He is nice sort of boy," said a
young lady yesterday, as she rolled up
his photograph and the engagement ring
up girl can be expected TO cling to a man
who spells confectionery with an a."
A, L. Stewart is poor, childless old
man. The father of large family, Sigh
ing, said: "lf Stewart mad six fashion
able daughters he would not now be
worth $40,0O0,00O and proprietor Of more
uncut silk than any man In the world.n
AyOung man in illinois complains Of
the disadvantages under which he is
doing his courting. He says he usually
meets the object of his affection on the
neutral ground of the parlur with The old
lady in one corner, the old gentleman
IN another, and a big dog under the melo-
deon.
When the father uses heavy boot and
his list in his endeavOrs to instill moral
truths into his sons mind, he, has only
himself to blame ii that son runs away
from home and eventually becomes-a pi-
rate, or a member OF canal ring Or a
Sister Perkins was asked if she was
going to celebrate her filth marriage an
niversary by the festival Of wooden
wedding. She tartly replied, Mo, that
would be unnecessary, as married a
stick and he has done nothing but
raise cane ever since."
Up i'll Troy certain priest, who looks
after the temperance OF his flock, occa-
slonally takes seat in a bar-roOm OH
Sunday afternoon, anu watches the GUS
toners. The Press says the number. OF
men who come III and leave alter asking
what time it is, or where John Smith
lives, is astonishing.
Sensitive bat1er 70 bathing attendant:
stListen: il l am to be drowned, or nearly
so, want it to be distinctly understood
that am not to be stood on my head, OK
rolled on a barrel, or any sueh ridiculous
made OF me. Ii l can't be
revived without any OF these perform
apces, prefer to he LETT alone.v
Not long ago a European correspond
ent wrote such vlllainous hand that
when he tried to describe Paul Cassag-
nae as like "a Pail Mall dandy swinging
his cane" the innocent composltor mis-
took his words i0r "a saw mill darky
swinging his cane." The European cor
is now on his way home.
A Western editor, thinking to stock
his, depleted larder, advertised, s.Poultry
taken in exchange i0r advertising.v The
villalnous composition, seeing his oppor-
tunity to pay upa long-standing grudge,
set it up, APoeJry taken,n &C., and since
thai time the office boy has been clearing
fifty cents day from the waste paper
man. .L-f
The following notice is conspicuously
posted over the counter OF suvings
Dank in Clinton place, Brooklyn, N. T.:
"Never stamp check before presenting
it at the bank, bus give the teller two
cents aud ask him to lick the stamp and
cancel it. Tne teller expects to lick all