Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1875-12-16
Too Enthusiastic.

county appointed Mr.. Slingsby assessor
asd-tax- collector; The principal charac.
terlstic OF Mr.. Slingsby is enthusiasm. -
t-He-has-an-ie ieea~-that- whenever man
gets anything new it ought to he taxed,
and ne is always on hand to perfol m the
service. l had about fifteen feet added
to one of my chimneys last spring, and
when it was done SiingSby called and as
sessed it under the head Of "improyed
real estate" at eighty dollars. and coli
lected two per cent, on it. A few DAYS
later, while | was standing by the fence,
SlingSby came up and said:
Beautiful dog you have tbere!' r
"Yes, it's a setter
Indeed A setter, hey? The tax IN
settlers is two dollars. I'll collect it new,
while | have it on my mind"
settled the obligation, and the next
day Shngsby came around again. He
opened the conversation with the remark ::
BILLY Jones told me down at the
grocery store ;bat your terrier had had
pups" r
Yes
"a large litter?"
Four
Indeed Less sec-tax is two dol,
lars; four times two is eight--yes, eight
dollars tax, please. And hurry up, too
if you can, for they have a new batch of
kittens over at Baldwin's. and | want
to ketch old Baldwin before he goes out.
By-the-way, when did you put that wealth.
er,cock on your stable?'
esterday.'
"You don't say? Well, hold on, then
-Four times two is eight, and four--on the
weatber>coek, you kpow-is twelve. =
Twelve dollars is the exact amount
"What do you mean by four dollars
tax on weataer,coch? / never heard OF
such thing" 't' '''s.l .H
Didn't hey? Why she comes in
under the head scientific apparatasi' Sht
Is put up there to tell which way the
wind blows, aiu't she? Well that's
scientific intelligence, and the apparatus
i, liable to tax. -'t. -i.hF
"Mr. Slingsby, thatis the most absurd
thing | ever heard of. You might just as
well talk Of taxing Buttor-wick's twins,''
"Butter- You don't mean 70 say
Butterwick has twins? Why certainly
they're taxable. They come in uude
the head Of poll tax. Three dollars .
piece, I'll 60 right down there. Glad
you meu;i?ncd it, Then | paid hin,
and lie lett with Dutterwick's twins on his
memorandum book. - q s...s... ... .
A day or two aftsrward Mr.. Slingsby
called to zee me, and he said -
I've got case tlat bothers me like
thunder. You know Hough the tobaccon>
i,t? Well he's just bought new Wooden
Indiaa to stand in front Of his store. Now
have strong feeling that ought te
tax that figure, but l don't know where
to place it. Would it come in as
'Statnary?s Somehow that don't seem
exactly the thing. was going to assess
it as idols but the blamed idiots who
got up this law amt gotta word in re-
ference to idols Thiuk of that will you
Why we might have paganism raging all
over this country, and We couldn't get a
cent out OF them. I'd put that Indian
under craven images only they amt
nenioned either. s'pose could tax
the bundle of wooden cigars in his fist as
tobacco but that leaves out the rest OF
the 6yure and he's not liable to poll tax
because be can't even vote. Now how
would it strike you if levied on him as
an Immigrant:' lie was made some>
where else than tere, and he came here
from there, consequently he's an immi'
grant. That's my view. What do you
think of it?' HE~i'
Iadvised him to try it upon that plan,
aud the next morning Mr.. Slingsby aud
Mr.. IIough had fight on the pavement
IN front of the Indian because Mr.. Slngs.
by attempted to seize the immigrant for
unpaid taxes. Sllugsby was sent to Jail for
larceny aud the business of collecting taxes
is temporarily suspended.
Matrimonial.