, 1875-01-31

scientific protest from any N. D. in tho land
Our learned doctors do not seem to think tia
the sexual functions unit woman for an,
concelVan1o OF lnconcalVable amount Of drudg-.
cry OF lard work, provided it be men,al and Ill
palu. Their ont anxiety il to keep women ou
OF employmeuts in which the compeusatiot
would bring Independence. May all women have
to appreciate their disintarested regard for The
sacred myatesiet Of womauhooa!
JANE GnEY Bw1ssuE1M.
! MISCELLANEOUS FEMININE ITEMS
England has only one divorce to Americas ten.
Over there they arc willing to put up with flat.
irons and SUCH
A young man in the country announces that he
will give chrome to the young LADY, who will
take him for better or worse.
Tom Owens OF Iowa, is man of the strictest
lmpartlalitv- he has had three Wiyes and he
drowned them all in the same well.
a Philadelphia broker courted q young lady
| Tor Elk years, And was too baahful to ask for
her hand until Ler brotherhoraeYhippedh hun into
| it.
It is estimated that 100 young women stand
| ready to do copying at - per week where ons
is willing to do plain cooking at double that
sum.
A Rochester firt had an offer Of marriage the
other evening, aud rushing to the hall she called
| upstairs: Mother! am engaged to anybody
uow:"
The power OF love receives fresh illustration in
| the case OF Montreal girl who sold la1 new
! bonnet 30 that her lover might buy pair OF
| skates.
i Nevada man who had seven homely daugh-
ters got paper to hint that he had seven kegs
filled with gold in hts cellar, and every girl was
married in five months.
A young lady in Kenosha, Wis, made trip to
Niagara Falls and back, md for six mouths after
wards she refused to speak to any Of her old
chuns who hadn't travelled.
A young lady who camo to the city to see what
was advertised as q ''SpectacuIar drama" came
home greatly disappointed. She says not one Of
the actors wore syectaces~
And DOW comes Boston girl who wants the
new undergarmeut called "prima." because it is
the frat to bs put on. BIoggs says it will be- the
last for woman Of taste to put on.
Benevolent-The late Julia Smith, of New
York. bequeathed her husband s'$1 and her for
Elyeness." The remainder OF her estate, some
$40, 600, she baqueatned to her niece.
In Massachusetts woman can 20 into buai-
ness on her own account, make her husband sup
port her all the time, and, when shs fails lie has
to pay her debts. Let us hear no mora abou5
LOUISIANA
A shrewd Indianapolis widow made her lover
deposit S3,0D0 iD the hands Of trustee on the
morning OF the wedding day, the money to be at
desire to take such action.
"How charningly naive she is, p" said q young
beau TO crt,sty old gentleman. 'Knave!' e1-
claimed the latter, gazing through his specacles
toward the coquettlah beauty indicated, s'I
should say more OF a fool"
A Darwin man went coon-huntins, recently,
and, on coming home, mistook his wife'a band
box for stool, and sat dowa on it. There were
no harsh words, no tears, no upbraidiug-
simply raped him with club.
4 PhilndelphiA man says that, when his wife |
gets up in the morning with jerk, and, neglect !
ing to do up her hair goes silently about her |
work, sae il materia!izing domestic row which |
before night will shake the house to it's founda-
tons. |
The chap who last summer married Newport I
belle, and who during tho engagement was al |
ways boasting OF the .'l1nguistic and vocal ac-
OF bis intended. LOOKS very se-
tious now when the matter ia alluded to By his /
trends.
Never get excited in reading Of the mysterious
Of - q handsome young latly about
Is years DID," They sra generally heard from in
;ive and forgot, and if they may bring Charles
Henry home?
A gentleman enter ed a bachelors room, and,
ooking round, said ''Very snug-rather too |
'nug-but suppose they are large enough for
bachelor" :; ics," said the bachelor - but
'nppose it had had 4 better half might haYo
lad better QuarteIH."
Lucretia Boyd. Of E1izabethtown, ecttled the
natter with her slow wooer by simply shedding |
few tears and saying: II don't believe I have
real friend on Garth" What could the poor
fellow do but open his arms and e1claim:
= Here ia your 1efuge!"
Said young married lady recently to 4 friend:
NY husband often said before marriage that he
Fould love me to death, and really fear he will
or cannot even vista neighbor's without his
alling upon my neck, kissing mo twenty times,
nd begging me to return soon."
An exchange defines blunderbuss Us kissing
he wrong girl, just as though it were possible
0 ba wrong in kissing any girl. A blunderbuss
for men to kiss one another as Frenchmeu do,
r for girls to kiss one another as they often do
or want Of q man 70 kiss them.
A finely dressed lady slipped and fell near tbs
ost-olhce yesterday, and tho bootblack who as- 1
'sted her to her feet. inquired: "Did you break
ny bones, madame? ?" ''No, guess not, she
es 2onded, "but I'm Just a. mad as it I had |
roken dozen Of 'em !"-Detroit Free Press. {
In shop window in Paris is the following an- ,,
"a fine human skin, taken OF :
hole and tanned in that condition. It is the :.
kin Of Assa, who was the most lovely Of tho :
aves of the Emperor OF Morocco. She was !
nly 20 when she died, and her skin was milk !
hite."
Pretty sallie Adams, of Portland brought the | /
ian shs loved to the popping point by saying to i
i'm, whi1e CLEANS of love-light shot from her d
af-ahut eyes, II have had two Oilers Of mar +
age. The first did not please me; and, as for T
,e second. II have superstitious regard for L
i'd numbers"
4 lady OF Springfield, has forced her husband y
I'd three grown up Sons to take board at 3 | .
,ighbor's. as she finds it impossible to spare q
me for housework while the Titon-Beeoher trial =
going on. She ia elow reader, and it is only u
7 beginning Mt daylight that she is enabled TO .
,ep up with the evidence. !.
4 Vermont schoolmaster says he mover felt b
,equal to any demand in the line OF his profess q
on, excepting on one occasion, when farmer o
ought his bouncing, 15-year old daughter to b
o school. and, wa1king up to the masters desk, q
id 4'That's my youngest gal. and if you orer v
tch her sIidin' down hill with the boys, just e,
Int you to trounce her," Il
A young fellow in San Francisco suddenly | q!
atched q kiss from lady friend, aud excused I
8 conduct by saying that it was sors Of tem- m
razy insanity that now and then came upon CT
d. When he arose to taxe his leave the pity -
2 damsel said to him, t'If ever you feel any NJ
1ra 6uch fita coming on ypu bad bettcr come p