davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06
MIXING THINGS.

The following is from an article on "ln-
frmities of Speech" in The Popular
Science Monthly for August: Itmay be,
however, that not only are the right
words forgotten, but wrong ones are sub.
stituted. The mother.in.law Of medical
man 1--WE are told by DR.. Trousseau
ed under very singular intellectual dis.
order. Whenever a visiter entered her
apartment she rose with an amiable look.
and, pointing to a chair, exclaimed "Pig.
brute, stupid fool 7" "Mrs. B-asks you
to take chair" her son. in-law would
then put in, giving this Interpretation to
her stranger expressions. In other re-
spects Mrs. BIS acts were rational,
and her case differed from ordinary ap
hasia in that she did not seem to grow i'm.
patient at what she said, or to understand
the meaning of the insulting expressions
of which she made use. Crichton men,
tons the case of an attorney who, when
he asked for any thing. constantly used
some inappropriate term; instead of ask
ing for piece of bread, he asked for his
boots, and, if these were brought, he knew
they did not correspond to the idea of the
thing he wanted; therefore, he became
angry, yet he would still demand
boots or shoes, meaning bread. One gen
tleman IA patient of Sir Thomas Watson)
would say pamphlet meaning cam
phor." Another would say "poker" when
he meant Sire" DR.. Moore, of Dublin,
has recorded the case of a gentleman who
completely lost the connection between
ideas and words. On one occasion the
doctor was much puzzled by his patient
saying to him, "Clean my boots 7" Find
ing that he was not understood, he became
much excited, and cried out vehemently
"Clean my boots by walking on them"
At length it was ascertained that the
cause Of disquietude was the shining Of
the candle in his face; and that the object
of his unintelligible sentence was to have
the curtain drawn. When this was done
he appeared gratified. In this case, it
will be noticed, the patient formed com.
plete sentences, the power OF coordination
and articulation was perfect, and the in
telligence was a pparently unimpaired.
But sometimes, when articulation may be
retained, what is uttered is perfect jargon.
A gentleman in Dublin, after an attack Of
apoplexy, was thus affected, and in the
hotel where he was mistaken for for
eigner. DR.. Osborn, with view to ascer-
tain the nature of his imperfections Of
language, asked him to read aloud the
following sentence from the bylaws of the
College Of Physicians; cit shall be in the
power of the college to examine or not to
examine any licentiate previous to his
admission to fellowship, as they think
fit" He read as follows sand the be
what in the temother Of the trothotodoo
to majorum or that emidrate einkrastrio
mestraits to ketra totombrifa to ra from
treido as that kekritest." Several Of
these syllables are difficult and unusual.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06

united to the lady's wrist, but she d
soon afterward OF the misadventure or Of
modification, and was buried near the
Eagles Crag. The priests called in to
insure Lady Sybil making happy end
assured her husband they had cancelled
the bond with the evil one; but, for all
that, any one having eyes to see has only
to take midnight walk by the crag up.
on All.hallow Eve to behold a ghostly
hunter and ghostly hound treading
hard upon the heels of a shadowy milk
white doe.
-Via-Coeil, commonly called Fin.
gall, had good reason to be shy Of white
harts, and small blame to him il he let
such kittle cattle run free when dear
bought experience had made HIM wise.
Hunting one day upon Mount Callow,
Fingall and large field went in hot pur-
suit of snow.white hart with horns and
hoofs shining like gold. Horse after
horse, hound after hound, gave out, until
Fingall and his peerless Bran were alone
in the hunt. Just as the sun was going
down the hart reached the top Of tall
cliff. and dashed over it into the lake be.
meath, followed by the brave Bran. Up
on touching the water the hart changed
into lovely lady, who, riding the waves,
waited for the poor hound to rise, when
she pushed his head under again; then,
having done the dog to death, she baked
his Mortified master Of vengeance by dis
appearing beneath the waters, and leay-
ing him lamenting.
The famous Scottish wizard, Michael
Scott, was particularly proficient in the
art of managing demon horses. The wise
countrymen showed their
proverbial shrewdncss in electing to send
him to France to obtain satisfaction for
sundry pirstical acts committed by
french subjects. No one else could have
done their business so thoroughly, so
quickly and so cheaply; for Michael's
methods of travelling and Of negotiating
were equally inimitable. Immediately
upon receiving his instructions, the wiz
zard-knight withdrew to his study, and
summoned fend, in the shape Of gi-
gantic black horse; then mounting him
took his way to France through
the air. While they were crossing the
sea the horse suddenly spoke, inquiring
what it was the old women muttered at
bedtime. Instead. of replying the
and thereby giving his in
quistive steed power to throw him over,
Scott sternly cried: "What is that to
thee, Diabolusl Mount and fly p and so
without further parley, Diabolus carried
him to Paris in no time. Never having
known a respectable ambassador to come
in such questionable shape. without a
single servant; the French king received
the Scottish envoy with little courtesy,
and would have sent him about his bus
mess at once if Sir Michael had not ask
ed him to speak before he had seen his
horse, then standing outside the palace
gates, stamp thrice. The wondering
acquiesced. The sable beast
once, and every bell in Paris
rang, and every steeple shook. At the
second stamp three of the palace towers
fell crashing to the ground. Not caring
to have his capital come tumbling about
his ears, before Diabolus put his foot
down for the third time the terrified and
king proclaimed his willing
ness to grant. whatever the Scotchman
had come to ask.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06

If | could have Unidentified the body |
would have sent you word right away"
'It's all right. I've felt it in my bones
for more'n two months that | was a Wild
der, and the shock don't stagger me like
it would at arst, I'm sorry, for Sam was
kind"
"Yes, it was too bad"
"But he ought to knowed better, when
he couldn't swim. ! told him and to-
him and told him, and that day | told
him again, and he hollered back, Shut
up
ale did,"
"Yes, he did; and now he's under the
sile and I'm here I'm 'bleeged, Mr..
-; know where he is now, and when
| wake up in the night shsn't worry so
much. Is there anything to pay :"
"No nothing"
"Well, I'll go home fe cling better. It's
kinder hard to have the old man 60 under
that way, but 'spose the Lord knows
best. The Bible says we cometh up to be
cut down, and suppose that means
drowning as well as shooting"
And she felt to see If her spectacle case
was safe, and started for home.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06
VICTORIOUS!
A Glorious Conquest for
the Edward!
The Only Harvester That Did Not
Choke
Five Edwards Purchased on the
Field
READ CARD BELOW.

At harvester trial on yesterday after
noon, on the farm Of Mr.. Carl Gest, near
the village of De Forest, Dane county,
six harvesters entered, namely: The
Edward, the Marsh, the Mccormick. the
the Massillon, the Beloit, and the earn
hart.
A field Of barley somewhat lodged and
tangled was the ground for the contest.
There was an excellent opportunity to
test the real merits Of the machines !;
and the trial was for the purpose Of let
ting the farmers present decide for
themselves which of the six haryesters
did the best work.
Mr.. Gest, the owner Of the farm, de.
sired to purchase a harvester, and he
agreed TO select the one which, in his
opinion, performed the best work. Each
machine started on its work, and the
ELW ARD was the only one which went
around the field without choking Its
work was done in o most admirable style,
and TO the utmost satisfaction Of the prac.
teal farmers present. Mr.. Gest imme-
diately purchased the Edward -FOUR other
Edward machines were sold then and there.
IL was great triumph for the Edward.
Read r.Gest's card, here appended
WfNDsoR. Dane Co, Wis July u. rs.
This is to certify that at the trial Of
Harvestcrs, held on my farm to-day for the
purpose Of testing the merits Of the diff.
fcrcnt machines, and having agreed TO
buy the harvester that done the best work,
after a thorough trial ofthc different Har.
vesters. have bought and paid for the
Edward Harvester, believing it TO be the
best Harvester in market.
CARL GEsr
This is tho first trial Of the Edward IN
this county. Mr.. John Lamont, Of this
city. agent for said Harvester, being con
WINGED that his was good machine, dix
not think II necessary TO enter in tho pet
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06
"ENTERTAINING" A FRIEND.
from the Danbury News. ]

lHANhA bAS DdhbuiN ANNWas
A wife, when she has received suitable
notice, can get up an excellent dinner for
her husbands friend. She does her level
best, working without stint unless re.
past which peases her in every particular
is spread. Then the following converse.
ton takes place with the guest;
81 hope you'll be able to make out a
meal"
Il shall do nicely, know" he says.
"I'm really ashamed Of the table, she
rattles on.
"Why, you needn't be- he protests.
'But it's all his fault" she explains,
nodding towards her husband. she never
gives me any warning scarcely, and it s
such warm weather now that there is
nothing you can keep on hand for an
emergency"
"Why you've done nobly, l think
couldn't have done BETTER" asserts the
guest, beginning to lose his interest in the
topic.
so, l hope you don't think this any
thing Of dinner" she says, looking with
anxious pride over the spread. "You
must come up again, and let me know
beforehand, and III promise you some
thing decent to eat
I'm sure this can't be beaten" pro-
tests the guest, with sense of becoming
depressed.
"0h! bless me; this is nothing but a
pickup dinner, just the same as we have if
alone. Do try another biscuit /; don't
suppose they are fit to eat, though she
says, with Increased anxiety, as she OBJ
serves their delicate color ana haky tex.
ture.
"They are beautiful" he hastily ex-
plains, feeling very uncomfortable the
while.
you must take the will for the deed"
sne resumes. 81 didn't see we were out of
bread till the last moment, and then
hastily made up these. didn't think
they'd be half decent, as there was no
time TO work them
And so she rattles on with her disas-
trous comments, the dear old fraud.
while he continues to protest. aud con-
tinues to feel more and more like getting
up and flying away.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06
DID WHISKY SAVE HIM?
buffalo Express.

Wednesday evening a Frenchman
named Albert Abattoy fell over the
bank Of the river at Niagara Falls, dis.
lance of l40 feet, and, strange to say.
escaped with but few slight bruises.
The accident occurred On the Canada
side Of the river, about 200 feet north Of
the new bridge. Abattoy, who halls
from Kingston, Canada, was intoxicated
at the time He staggered over the bank,
falling a clear distance Of 80 feet, on to
the rock below, and then rolling down go
feet more toward the edge of the water.
Thomas Conroy, the noted guide, accom-.
panied by three or four others, as soon as
they learned Of the accident, rowed over
from Prospect Park, expecting to find
the unfortunate man mangled mass OF
flesh and bones. Judge Of their aston.
ishment when, after ashort search, they
discovered him wedged in between some
rocks, swearing as lively as any man in
his position could, and suffering no per.
ceptible injuries excepting few
slight bruises. Abattoy was placed in
the boat and rowed over TO the landing,
where every preparation had been made
for the appropriate reception Of n corpse.
The Frenchman, however. was not at all
DESTROYS Of availng himself Of the privi
leges, and on reaching the shore coolly
informed the crowd that there "wasn't q
id bone broken Neither was TIE
empty whisky bottle which he had in hi.
pocket. The fall was terrible one, and
II is nothing short Of miraculous that the
man was not killed instantly. At IN,
same point where he fell over, German
musician met with similar accident tive
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06
ECONOMY IN THE HOUSEHOLD.
From the Brunswicker.l

One morning about two weeks ago,
Mrs. McGooehen beamed blandly across
the breakfast table on her husband, and
informed him that she had concluded to
discharge the hired girl and do her own
work. This announcement startled MIR.
McGoochen almost as much as if she had
declared her determination to commit
suicide. lie had long known that hired
help was heavy drain upon his meagre
salary, hut his wife had educated him 10
regard it as indispensable, and he had
made up his mind to endure it forever.
That she should voluntarily offer to dis
pense with the services of girl was
something for which he was not prepared
Looking al her with an expression in
which hope and doubt painfully mingled,
he said:
"You,-why, you can't do it Eliza"
"Can't do 1t, indeed I'd like to know
what's the reason! Lots of women in
this town do great deal more. and think
nothing of it. Our family's small,-just
you and me and Henry Ward, and if |
can't do the work for us three, I'd better
go to a hospital and done with it,
what put you into the notion e.
asked her husband, hardly yet reco 1ered
from his surprise.
swell, Peter" she replied, speaking in
tender, Self.reproving tone. "Pll tell
you. I've been thinking lately how hard
you have to work, and how little have
done to assist you, in COMPARISON with
what might and ought to do, and it APP
pears to me that ! should try to reduce
our expenses as much as possible, and
the best way know of is to do my own
homework. We are poor, just making a
beginning in life, and it is my duty to
help you"
With voice almost choked with emo.
ton at this unexpected evidence Of his
wife's devotion and energy, he feebly es.
sayed to break her resolution, saying he
didn't want her to be a slave for him
that she was too delicate for the task
she contemplated, that all he asked oil
her was continued love and sympathy
"0h, that's all romance" interrupted
Mrs. McGoochen. Its high time my
love and sympathy were assuming prac
teal form. I'll discharge the girl thi,
very day. But there is one condition,
Peter"
Shame it, my noble wife"
"That new carpet you thought we wer,
unable to get. Now, if do my ovr
work, it will save us at least a hundred
dollars year, and you can certainly az
ford the carpet"
"0f course, my love, if you are salts
fed you are not undertaking more thar
you can perform"
She was satisfied. and so il was settled
Mack lugged the carpet home at noon
and found the girl gone. His wife wa.
gone, too, but she returned shortly, hay
ing only been around telling the neigh
bors that she was now doing her owr
work. Dinner was late, but then il wal
the first meal by her fingers, aud h,
could make allowances for the novelty o
the position in which she found hersel
placed.
Acting on her suggestion, Mack brough
home a new rocking chair when he cam,
to supper. They were saving a hundre,
dollarsa year, and could well afford sucl
little things. When his wife returns,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06
A MIND SET AT REST BY AN INTER
VIEW WITH A MATTER. OF FACT
CORONER.

A MIND SET AT REST BY AN INTER
VIEW WITH A MATTER. OF-FACT
CORONER.
The other day tall, thin woman from
over the river hunted around Vicksburg
until she found Coroner Blessing, whose
retiring disposition and prompt attention
to business are certain TO make him ia
nous all over the State within the coming
year, and when she was certain Of her man
she inquired;
Business amt driving now is iti"
swell nothing to brag of. get a float
er or niger now and then, but it isn't
anything like old times"
She heaved sigh and continued.
"Sam is missing"
"Sam., SAM he repea ted.
ayes my ole man. It's nigh off to
twelve weeks since he started to cross the
river about six miles above here, and I'm
getting anxious. Thought Id drop down
and see if you remembered Of having set
on such man"
about twelve weeks ago less see |
believe did pull in floater some ten or
eleven weeks since"
"Was he a tall man o.
"Yes, think he was"
"Have a long nose and brick.colored
hair :"
"YeS Il remember now"
"Cowhide shoes and yaller cost on o.
"Yes-I got that very man."
"Arize TO the surface, and was pulled in
here. sat on according TO law, and was duly
buried ?"
'lie was, madam. And do you believe
the body was that Of your missing hus.
band 2"
IL know il. He could drive mules OF
paddle a dug.out with any man in Louisi.
ana, but he couldn't swim worth cobs.
His canoe Topped over; he went under,
and that's his reason he didn't come
home"
And do want the body exhumed, 50
as TO make sure,
"Was he put down 10 stay"
'He was buried madam"
"Well, it's bout as we'll 10 Let him stay
there. Hes probably fell away SO that
! wouldn't know him, and don't feel like
having my naryes strung up"
well. I'm very sorry for you madam
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06

years ago, and was instantly killed. 1t
was no doubt the quantity of whisky he
had imbibed saved him. Had he been
sober, there is scarcely probability but
that every spark of life would have been
crushed out of him by the terrib shock
his system received. Abattoy was swag.
gering round on the Canada side of the
falls yesterday as unconcerned as though
nothing had happened. Persons intend.
ing to visit the falls should make note
of his case and get dead drunk, so as to
be fully provided for in case they should
fall over the bank.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06

The English Commissioners to the Cen.
tennial Exhibition have broken ground
for the erection of their buildings, four
in number. England is the first foreign
nation to begin building operations. The
Japanese Commissioners are preparing
to build, and structures will shortly be
begun for Sweden and Morocco. Austria's
official requirements for space at the
Exhibition has been received and calls for
$4,000 square feet in the main building,
and over $1,000 in the art gallery. This
is an increase of one-third over the origi-
nal reservation.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06

OK con per day at home. Terms Free Address
VJ-WGU G. SrTNsoN * Co.. Portland. Maine.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06
POETRY.
GOOD NEWS OR BAD.

There came to Nusherwan, surnamed the Just,
certain man, acourtier, with the dust
on travel on him, and with heart elate.
81 heari' he said, shat God His name he
greatD
Has taken from the world your mortal foe"-
Naming king whom death then had laid low
"And did you hear" the sultan made reply,
"That am overlooked and not TO die
have no room for exultation, friend,
For, like my rivals life, my life must end"
The courtier skunk away, abashed and sad,
For he had learned that good news may be bad.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06

ty contests which oflate has been in vogue.
Heis to be congratulated on the success
Of his trial.
NorE. The obove was taken from Mad
ison, Wis, Democrat.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06

A Philadelphia dispatch says the failure
Of Duncan, Sherman 4 Co, reported here
about noon, caused intense excitement.
Gold jumped at once to ll6 2, but has
now, at 1870, fallen to LA.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06
Let the People speak.

MANHATTAN nan.
r. V. PIERCE, Buffalo,N Y:
Dear Sir-Your Favorite Prescription has
done my wife world of good. She has taken
nearly two bottles and has felt better the last
two weeks than at any time in the past two.
years. | have so much confidence in it that
would be perfectly willing to warrant to certain
customers of ours who would be glad to get
hold Of relief at any expense. have tried
many Patient Medicines, but never had any
occasion TO extol one before.
Very truly yours
GEO. b. WHITING.
Mrs. F. r. DAILY, Metropolis, H., writes;
'Dr. X. V Pierce--My sister is using the
Favorite Prescription with great benefit"
MARY ANN ERIsBIE, Leman, Pa, writes;
CDR. K. V. Pierce-What | have taken OF
your medicine has been Of more benefit TO me
than all others and hundreds at doctors bills
DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescriptions is sold b
dealers in medicines generally.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-06

from Der visit to the rest Of the neigh
bors, whom she had been informing that
she was now doing her own work, she was
delighted with the new chair, and declar-
ed that they must have full set of fur.
niture to match it. "You know, Peter,
that / will more than save the cost Of it
in the course Of year, and will feel so
proud 10 know that my labor secured
it," This was said so beseechingly, and
she hung so lovingly on his neck the
while, that Mack couldn't resist
the appeal. The furniture was sent
down the next day.
About three days after, Mrs. McGoo.
chen coaxed Peter into buying her a silk
dress, and the next day she wheedled
him out Of set of jewelry. 1t was the
same old plea-she was tightening the
expenses so much by doing her own work,
that she felt that she was entitled to
something extra. 1t would amount to
no more, she reasoned, than the hire Of a
girl, and Peter could we'll afford to give
it TO her.
Mack began to get uneasy. Was there,
after all, any saving in doing without a
hired girl Wouldn't that sort of econo-
my bankrupt him in less than year! He
got piece of paper and pencil and fig
ured:
Expenses one week without help
carpet -. ........... .... 80. 80. ~ w
furniture -. ...... 80. ...s '...'' " w
Dress ana lewelry ......... gu w
Total 49,. $3.50 90
Cost Of help one week ............. 80. %
Balance in favor OF domestic ...... sl4s 90
McGoochen was astounded. Grasping
the paper and his hat, he made rapid
strides for home. Opening the door, the
first object that met his frenzied gaze
was the hired girl That scheming wo.
man, having succeeded in tricking her
poor husband out Of the things she had
set her heart on, had recalled and rein
stated the help.
Mack is well satisfied to have the girl
back, as he had become very tired of cold
meals, but he mes that the law would
allow him to ..roceed against his wife for
obtaining goods under false pretenses.