The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-09
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES

lfe nrODHs OF Il pllNUIbTh, WIN hlGUlOuu T4h1i
enough 10 fill them to the ends.-Er.
On the same principle, why don't she long foi
lips the same size as those of the sphynx in
Egypt, so that she could enjoy good square
built kiss?
The Dixon Telegraph is severe upon the Gale.
Mates:
Victoria Woodruff is to lecture in Galcna in
January. She proposes to tell them what she
knows about the Beecher- Tilton scandal. Wei,
let her come. We never had much pity for those
Gaena people anyway
II is said that human being has seven mil
lions OF pores through which perspiration and
exhausted particles OF the system escape. We
are all pore creatures.
The Cincinnati Enquirer thinks the matter
with Kate Field is that she cannot vault to the
empyrean heights of genius. Such probably Is
the distressful fix of most women who have
neglected learning to jump the rope in child
hood.-Brooklw Argus.
Talk about the wind blowing the grasshoppcrs
away. One of them faced Mondays gale for an
hour and then yanked single of house for a
faH, saying II was awfully sultry.-EI.
What we are nervous about is that they'll
stretch those Kansas grasshopper stories too
wide.
After seeing the Shipman boys holding their
doxies' shawls on with both hands, the True Flag
knows this will be hard winter.
Waite is the only Chief.Justcc not bald. Just
Wa.e.-EJ.
Maybe he isn't married yet.
There is no luck like p.luck-E1.
Yes, but suppose the hens scratch up all your
peas-as they did ours asst season, where would
your p luck be then?
Canada man tied his dog to the end Of rear
car the other day, and then bet the beast could
keep up with the train. Strange to say, when
they got to Detroit the dog was ahcad-,hcreI
was nothing else left of him-E1
Canada trains run faster than ours anyway.
Here any live dog would be apt TO get in ahead
of the train.
pack Of wolves in SherbOurne County, Min
nesota, chased couple Of lawyers five miles, and
the New Orleans Rep4bAcGn thinks they showed
a lack Of professional curiosity in doing So
No dog possessing an ounce Of self-respect,
would do such thing in this State and they
are not very hight toned dogs either
The Co4rtr-Journel stands up manfully for
The Garden Of Eden against the assaults of Pro-
fessor Tyndall, by asking that gentleman to ac-
count for the walking stick in the Cincinnati
Museum made from the apple tree that created
such disturbance.
The San Francisco Chronicle dropped into poe
try and welcomed King Kalakaua thus:
Hoky poky, winky wank,
Wen homer the King il we bust bank
To give him welcome due the rank
OF the King Of the Cannibal Islands.
The Milwaukee Seatin,l says The bears and
wolves in Northern Wisconsin, which get moth
ing to eat from November to May, but the In
dams who happen 10 die In the woods from de-
lirium tremeRs, are getting so thin that re-
spectacle shadow will scare one of them 10
death
IT is a singular fact, bat one well authentica-
ted, that an Indian never dreams He slumbers
away like herse and doesn't know what it is
TO dream that he is riding out to spelling school
with his arm around the waist OF the handsom.
est girl in town
Why are two ladies Kissing each other an en-.
blem Of Christianity: Because they are doing /
unto each other as they would men should do {
unto them.-EJ.
Not much. They kiss one another usually out
OF pure spite.
an Ohio canal boat has been named after Hen ,
r. Ward Beecher, il is said. II ought to be
fast boat And if you'll start good looking wo-
man along the tow path well be bound it will {
Keep up with her. -tourter J0urndl.
We have been shown a design for an upholster- {
cd front gate, which seems destined to become !
very popular. The foot board is cushioned and q
there is a warm soap stone on each side; the in.
side step being adjustable that short girl {
can bring her lips 10 the line of any given {
moustache without trouble. If the gate is occu.
pied at 1890 P. NJ, an iron hand extends from one
gate.post takes the young man by the left ear
,turns him round, and he is AZ once started home
by a steel foot. The girl cam il she likes, set this
part at a later hour than 1890.
We find column ofcdltoral in the Decatur Re-
paj5tcdn on the question, What makes our Young
men iast?' The article is a very readable one,
and full Of good moral advice te parents but il i
Doesn't seem to hit the nail on the head. What
makes our young men fast" We think that III
good many cases inst now il is because they
can't get anything 10 eat-jo}at SIM.
4 Southern correspondent OF the New York
Tunes has fallen in love with the politcncss of
the people OF Alabama. Everybody calls his
ncighbor sir, as he says we would naturally sup.
that people would have sir.fcit of politencss
lie says, my dear and my love- are the com.
mon uses OF adversely in married life The
very hotel clerks are SO polite that they Sir
visitor mp to the roof with the air of Chester.
field, They even say Sir to Il man when they
knock him down, and beg his pardon when they
send bowic-kniGe through his gzzard
Paper under. garments for women have struck
The Pacific coast from Japan.-Er.
Wonder il those under garments hurt the
coast when they struck liz
This is the way Frcnchman reported the
Brooklyn scandal: One Grand Ecclesiastical
Scandal Great Excitement in New York aud
Brooklyn--Thgee eiergymen In Moosh Trouble.
Mons. Moulting. TItonS and Bcecharc have One
Grand Controversies. Mons. Moulling is ~ pas
tori Of " PlccmOz Church, OF New York, dis
covered by Columbus, Ohio, in l402. Mons.