The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-12-16
ODDS AND ENDS.

The cheapest of lawyers-KeepiDg
ones own counsel.
"SIEsT1cATE"-t take midday nap
is the last drop in the well of English
defiled.
THE noblest reformer is he who, resolv-
ing to make true man Of himself, sue
ceeds in his work.
DIFFICULT questions-Are the minutes
relating to an affair of honor always
drawn up by the seconds?
WE are much bound to them that do succeed;
But in more pathetic sense are bound
To such as fail. They all our loss expound
Tkey comfort us for work that will not speed;
And life itself is failure.
In life it is difficult to say who do you
the most mischief-enemies with the
worst intentions, or friends with the
best.
THE silliest ofall errors is when young
men think they forfeit their claims to
originality if they acknowledge any
truth that has been discovered before
them.
Mr.. STURGEON said, in recent ser
mon on public speaking: Moreover,
brethren, avoid the use of the nose as an
organ of speech, for the best authorities
are agreed that it is intended to smell
with"
SOME thoughtless person suggests
nitroglycerine funeral caskets to prevent
"body snatching" But there is serious
objection to this. A corpse could not turn
over In its coffin on resurrection
day without danger of being blown to
pieces.
A QUAKERTowN man has solved Mrs.
Livermore's query: "What will we do
with our daughters? He has purchased
two washing machines and will take in
washing. His wife and seven daughters
are to do the work and he will superin-
tend the business.
A AFAsHIoNABLE woman's clothes weigh
twenty. four pounds, exclusive of hat,
furs, and rubbers, while a mans outfit
hardly goes over fifteen pounds. Thisis
free country, however, and any woman
is at liberty to carry as much as mule
can draw, if she wants to.
-Lvu1s,, r,,,.,. <s,-, .v.-v5s,,-,
V, duke of Modena, is dead, and the
eompositor who, in putting in type an
announcement of the fact, the other day,
made it FrancisV. Duke, of ModeDa, and
then asked, "What do you suppose that
V in Dukes name stands for Z" ought to
be dead too.
THE man who is enly honest when
honesty is the best policy is not really
an honest man. Honesty is not swerving
policy, but staple principle. An honest
man is honest from his inmost soul, nor
designs to stoop to ought that is mean
though great results hang on the petty
fraud.
In Massachusetts, the other day, a
man named Rowly, shortly after the dis
charge of a shotgun in the hands of his
divorced wife, suddenly discovered de-
post of lead in his body, and employed
half dozen doctors to work the mine.
: At last accounts they had hoisted out
twelve buckshots, and were sinking and
drifting for richer lead.
WE fatter ourselves--we bearded boys
That we are deep and can conceal
All that we know and do and feel
Our business sorrows and clubhouse Joys
From the innocent creatures who make our tea;
But believe me, sir, they can see
As If your Glove cardamon seed
Could hide your guilt in wine and weed
All foolish mortal. do you suppose
: That only to sniff the scent Of rose,
And not the odor that's in your clothes,
l She's got that sweet little, pert little nose i?
Your screen is only paneUf glass
r Through which she sees that you are--alas!-=
By no means the lion you think withiB,
But long cared thing in lions skin.
, | -B0st0n Commercial Bulletin.
r IDA LEWIS, the marine heroine, is
poor and plays every Monday morning
n on seven and half octave washboard.
With her bare elbows even with the key.
r board and a red flannel Beethoven before
e her, she renders that famous music with
% delicate expression and woollen poetry
d Yet people send her poems, silk hosiery
three buttoned gloves and fine jewelry
AwoMAN in the case? Was there evel
,, case without woman in it? Wha
IL mighty ills have not been done by wo
le man? Congress ought to pass a Law
abolishing woman. 1t might be incon
d venient in its operation for while, but
le the man would soon get used to nursin!
u the children and running through tn
housework, and we'd have less shootin!
= Il going on.
af AFEw days since, as the local freigh
" " arrived from Cleveland, a barrel Q
p" whisky was rolled from the cars into tn
no freight depot in Atwater, Ohio. Tha
W night some persons being very anxious
partake its contents, crawled under tn
wareroom and with an auger bore
through the floor into the barrel, thu
enabling them to guzzle whisky unit
they were perfectly satisfied.
BETTER INVESTIGATION NEEDED L
RAILROAD ACCIDENTS. = The Englis
accident did, however, establish OIL
thing, if nothing else; it showed the in
measurable superiority of the system
nj investigation pursued in the case of raj
Nv road accidents in England over tn
pursued in this country. There is
TX trained expert after the occurrence
MS each disaster visits the spot and Sits Il
TO affair to the very bottom, locating i
Ter sponsibility and pointing out distinct
to the measures necessary to guard again
I'D. its repetition. Here the case goes to
coroner's jury, whose findings as ru
nd admirably sustain the ancient reputati
ess, of that august tribunal. 1t is absolute
a sad to follow the course of these inves
ms cations, they are conducted with su
vas an entire disregard of method and lead
cd. such inadequate conclusions. Indet
was how could it be otherwise? The sal
esn man never investigates two acciden
'ast and for the one investigation he d.
ere make he is competent only in his o.
OK esteem. Charles Francis adams, Jr.,
'eu; The atlantic.
irst DIFFICULTY is being experienced
was obtaining a staff of teachers for
or Catholic universities in France, seve
was prominent professors having declined