The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-12-24
Wit and HtlInOr.

NECESSARILY an HrrOW Strect-DOW
street.
STRUCK aisle-The man who fell down
in church.
DENTIST ballad-"Oh, who can tell
the jaws we feel2"
How to make good puffs-Send the
publisher fifty cents line for them.
"THE Devils Necklace" is the title
of sensational romance, probably i'll
tended as companion piece to "A-dan
Bede."
"HE was one OF our most energetic
trustees" says a village paper in an
obituary notice, "and we trustees
happy %
FRENCH paper describes young
lady as one who kisses her gentleman
friends until she is six year old, and then
leaves off until she is sixteen.
"IR1sH builder Ito laborer aloft-
/" How many OF yez is up thereI' Labor
ers Tin chorus) =" Three" Irish builder
-" Sure, that's too many half of yez
come down at once. !"
THE symptoms of first love are too di-
verse and innumerable to mention. Per
haps the leading traits are dissatisfac-
ton with your salary, and contempt
for the way your mother irons your
shirts.
A TEACHER in one Of our prominent
female seminaries on the Hudson, on be-
ing asked by young lady OF her class
what pig-iron is, replied: Iron given
in exchange for swine !'-NeU York
Commercial.
"WHAT are you about?" inquired
lunatic of a cook, who was industriollsly
picking the feathers from fowl.
+" Dressing chicken" answered the
cook. 81 should call that undressing"
replied the crazy fellow. The cook
looked reflective.
LAURA (who is still trlhe romantic)
Don't you think there is something
very solemn about the fall of the dead
leaves, Reginald ?" Reginald, her
husband (who has outgrown his ro-
mance): VERY" Pause). Talking
of dead leaves, what the deuce and all
have 1 done with my tobacco 2"
YESTERDAY morning, when woman
sampled some butter at the Central Mar
ket, she spit it out in disgust and ex-
claimed "That is execrable butter -
"You are the third lady who has praised
this butter within half an hour" replied
the smiling stall-keeper, "and believe
/ ought to raise on it. How much will
You have s'-DetrOt Free Press.
A DETROIT boy paid his first visit to
one of the Union schools the other day az
scholar, and when he came home at
- Il
Henry, how do you like going to
SCHOOL, "Bully!" he replied in an
excited voice. =" L saw four boys licked,
one girl got her 'ear pulled, and big
scholar burned his elbow on the stove
L don't want to miss q day. Free
Press.
THEY tell big stories about the tough
feet of the Louisiana darkey, but the
Vicksburg negro is always ready to com
pete for the medal. One of them en-
tered blacksmith the other day to
sell horseshoe, and he placed his foot
on hot piece of iron Just cut from a
bar. 1t was a full minute before the
heat struck in, and then he gave leap
over the anvil, and uttered a terrible yell.
The smith asked him to explain, and the
darkey responded:
"Why, lie bin standin' on that piece
of red hot iron 7"
And you didn't know it 2"
"No, not zactly L smelt sunthin
kinder Gurus for a good while, but |
fought dere was a dead hoss round here
somewhat - ViokS6urg Herald.
AN ILLUSION OF THE RINK.
Along the rink careering fast,
How women hoax then lords aud masters:
Smith thought an angel glided past,
And IT was Mrs. Smith on castors !-Putch.
Song OF THE NEW YEAR.
Gather, tonight, by the hearth 30 bright,
We will sing song OF glee
The winds may blow DER the giimmering snow;
But what, blithe hearts, care we7
FOR Wei shout and sing till the raflers ring,
And give 10 the winds every fear!
And well laugh la Ha and well quafi Ha! TIA
10 welcome the happy New iear!
Our grief and pain never come again,
They died with the year that's flown;
And the Future beams with its radiant dreams,
And dear ones are dearer grown.
So it's what care we for the storms that be,
While the ones that we love are here
For We'll laugh Ha Ha! and wen guam Ia lia!
To welcome the glad New Year.
To each absent friend we beseing send,
And the best Of all wishes true
To the friends Of old that have ne'er grown cold,
We affections warmth renewl
May the olden sigh bid each heart goodbye,
And the olden smile appear
While we laugh Ha Ha aud ne quar- Ha' ia
And we pledge the bright New teer.