The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-05-26

! 4 scHooxMAsrEis ARoUSD z0oeE.
The Detroit Ffee Prsss says: Four o. five
days ago man about forty years Of age, look
! ing IS If ho lad bcen drawn over dusty
floor for an hour or two, called upfm ono 81
the members Of tho Bord Of Edncstion and
introduced himself as William Cannon Har1i.
son, Of Saginaw County. Hc WAS politely 70.
ceived, and commenced business promptly BY
saying /:
I'm looking for situation a ! school.
teacher =
All, ali ~ replied the member, wondering
why the man wasn't looking for wood-pile.
! could have brought pile Of rocommcn-
dations SO high, continued the man, naeaspr-
I ing with his hands, "but recommendations
don't amount to nothing"
And have you any school in view ask.
ed the member.
II want to 60 IN here, in Detroit, replied
the man. "What wages do yon payp
III am afraid = began tho member,
when the schoolmaster interrupted:
"Oh, we'll, s'posc you pay good wages,
and that's all can ask for, don't want to
put on style and live high, as I'm getting a
leetle old and ought to save money"
GAS was going to remark 49,. " said the
member, when the schoolmaster suddenly in
quired
"Do they allow licking in the schools
heree If they do, I'm the man you want to
dress the boys down. Tvs had'm come for
- ~. AZ I~~.,~ II a. .,y1 4 ..<.....
good to see the way I laid 'em. Why, when
had that school in Bay county ! thought MOTH
ing Of licking thirty scholars day, besides
hearing twelve classes reoites In, 40 old
screamer, tell YOU, and there's fun III me
when you get me woke upl' ?
"I hardly Thin commenced the member
again, when the schoolmaster jumped up and
said:
"Of course you won't take me unless pass
examination, but hain't afraid of not pass
ing. I'd like to see word couldn't spell. -
For instance, C-a-ta-r-r-h, catarrh 4 Dam
delion, d-a-n-d-e-li-o-n; or try me on words
of four syllables. sLugubrious, l-u-g-u-b-r-i-
GUS. Oh ! can knock the socks tight Off
all these swell head teachers and not half try T."
:" / should like to help YOU" put in the
member, but
ooh | you needn't think I'm behind on ge-
ography, interrupted the teacher. For I'M
stance What is an isshmus2 An isthmus is
a narrow strip of land connecting two larger
bodies. Is the world round or fiatp Round.
Why is it round? Because it is. Which is
the largest river in the worlds The Amazon.
Which is the highest mountain? Tho Andes.
might 60 on for seventystive dsss this way,
and then not tell you half know z"
"You seem to be pretty well posted in ge@
ography, but wanted TO tcll--=-'
"And on grammar too" exclaimed the
teacher jumping up again. " What is nounP
A noun is the name of any person, place or
thing. Give us an example Man, dog, cat,
coon, goat jack-knife, fish-hook, gate-post. =
What are the principal conjunctions9 And,
as, both, because, for, If, that, or, nor, neth-
err either, and SO forth and SO forth. Oh Pm
right on the roof of the meeting house when
you sling grammar at me-"
The member was getting desperate, and as
soon as lie could get in a word, he said I:
81 will take your name, and as soon as
vacancy"
"And know arithmetic from cover to COW
or =, exclaimed the man, standing up again.
" / can go through the tables like lightning
through hay-stack, and when yor get to
fractions and cube root I'm awful weigh
ton and half and still growingl 'Rithme-
tics my favorite study, and I'll give you $50
to find man who'll saw sums in two and
plane 'em down as quick as cant"
His speech took the wind out of him, and
the member managed to say there was no va
cancy at present, but he would take his name
and consider his case as soon as one occurred.
"Id like to commence right off" replied
the man, "but I'm willing to wait. Here's
my name and the mint get your letter I'll
come down flying. If you get me You don't
get much style but you get solid common
sense and genuine education. You Won't see
scholars playing hide and coop around the
wood box or playing marbles on the floor
no, you WON'T"
And lie went down stairs.