The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1875-07-29
About Ice Cream"


softly, and when the girl asked him what
he wanted he replied
"Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickles and
mince pie"
This is not reasturant, this is an ice
cream parlor,' she said.
''Then why did you asked me what
wanted for? Why didn't you bring on
your ice cream? ?''
She went after it, and as she returned
he continued:
"Iou see, my dear girl you must infer
you must reason. 1t isn't likely that [
would come into an ice cream parlor to buy
a grind-stone, is it? You didn't think l
came in here to ask if you had any baled
hay, did you ?''
She looked at him in great surprise, and
he went on:
"lf | owned hardware store and you
came in, | would infer that you came for
something in my line. l wouldn't step out
and ask you if you wanted to buy mule,
would p
She went away highly indignant. An
old lady was devouring dish of cream at
the next table, and the stranger, after watch
ing her for moment, called out
"My dear woman, have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dish p
Mercy MOI She exclaimed as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon
"Wel, I'm glad Of it p he continued
'Ifyou find any just let me know"
She looked at him for half minute,
picked up the spoon, laid it down again,
and then Sc up and left the room. Shore
must have said something to the proprietor,
for he came running in and exclaimed:
"Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice cream ~
'No, sir"
"You didn't?"
mo, sir, did not [ merely requested
her, in case she found any such ingredients,
to inform me"
"Well, sir, that was a mean trick.
"My dear sir, said the stranger, smil-
ing softly, "did you expect me to ask the
woman if she had found a crow-bar or a
slcdge-hammer i'll her cream? 1t is i'm
possible, sir, for such articles to be hidden
away in such small articles ?'
The proprietor went away, growing, and
dc IliO SOluil-Cl, idISOig SupPCo away "O hI9
cream two young ladies came i'll, sat down
near him and ordered cream and cakes.
He waited until they had eaten little, and
then he remarked:
beg pardon ladies, but do you observe
anything peculiar in the taste of this
cream ?"
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not certain.
''Does it taste to you as ifa plug of to-
bacco had fallen into the freezer % he asked,
"Ah kah y they exclaimed, dropping
their spoons and trying to spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and it
wasn't long before the proprietor rushed
in
';See here, what in blazcs are you talk
ing about ?" he demanded. "What do you
mean by tobacco in the freezer p
'My kind friend, [ asked the ladies if
this cream tasted Of plug tobacco. | don't
taste any such taste, and [ don't believe
YOU used bit of tobacco in it p
"Well, you don't want to talk that way
around here p continued the proprietor.
"My ice cream is pure, and the man who
says it isn't tells bold lie y
He went away again, and woman with
long neck and a sad face sat down and
said to the girl that she would take small
dish Of lemon ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken about
two mouthfuls when the stranger inquired &:
Excuse me, madam. but do you know
how this cream was madc-havc you an
idea they grated turnip and chalis with the
cream ?'
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up.
wheeled around, and made for the door.
The stanger followed after, and by great
good luck his coat-tails cleared the door an
instant too soon to be struck by Il five
pound box of figs, hurled with great force
| by the indignant proprietor. As he reached
the curb-stone he halted, looked at the door
of the parlor and solioGuized
"There are times when people should IN
fer, and there are times when they shouldn't
| suppose if had asked that woman if she
thought they hashed up saw-mill III tho
cream she'd have felt a circular-saw going
down her throat "-DetroH Free Press.