The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1875-07-10
WIT AND WISDOM.

Il your wife be a sensible woman, make
her your private secretary
Old people are always fond of tellipo
stories. They have arrived at their anec-
dotage.
Life is a dream, and death is the time u
waking, and man tits between the one amp
the other like phantom.
Affections can Withstand very severe
storms q rigor, but not long polar frost
Of downright Indifference
'Quills are things that are sometimes
taken from the Pinions Of one goose 10
spread the opinions Of another
mo, said Mrs. Podgers, very posi-
lively, ''if go into the country. Mr.. Pod
gers goes with me. This city amt no safe
place to leave a man alone in. /"
Minnie IN in such a quandary for II
l turn my back on Charley he becomes Of
Tended at once, and if don't he can't see
my new buckle What shall do p
Quinn, the actor, being asked by laby.
Why there we're more women in the world
than men, replied, TT is in conformity
with the other arrangements of nature,
We always see more of heaven than of
earth.
A young Lady, after reading attentively
the title OF novel, called The Last Man
exclaimed, BLESS me, if such thing we're
ever to happen, what would become Of the
women.
village pedagogue, in despair with
stupid boy, pointed to the letter A. and
asked him if he knew it. "Yes, sir"
well, what 1t it p 81 knows him very
well by sight, sir-but rat me if | can re-
member his name"
Said saucy beauty TO foppish fellow
who bored her with his compliments
Your presence and conversation are vast.
ly agreeable, and what is remarkable. your
attractlyeness doesn't seem 10 depend upon
brains at all "
A few weeks since a Chicago drummer
saw young lady plowing a field in Mac
oupln county, Ill. He stopped to ask
when do you begin grading III mot till
heads are better than yours, was the sen
tentious reply. The young man passed
muslngly on.
Podgering is a new word in which the
English language has lately been enriched.
Ii Is derived from certain Mrs rodgers.
who is continually in trouble with London
cabmen as to their fares, summoning
them before magistrates
Copy was out. The devil picked up a
paper and said, Here's something About
a Woman must | cut it out r. "No F"
thundered the editor the first disturb
ance ever created IN the world was occa-
stoned by the devil fooling about wo-
man"
FILIAL DUTY.-There is no virtue that
adds so noble a charm to the finest traits
OF beauty, as that which exerts itself In
watching over the tranquility of an aged
parent. There are no tears that give 80
noble lustre to the cheek Of innocence as
the tears Of tlial sorrow.
As the sun in all his splendor was peep
ing over the eastern hills, a newly-married
man exclaimed The glory Of the world
is rising 7" His wife, who happened to be
getting up at that moment, taking the
compliment TO herself, simpered out,
What would you say, dear, if | had my
silk gown unr
" Yes, sir, a preacher in a Dakota
church one Sunday morning, there's
more lying and swearing and stealing and
general develtry to the square inch in this
here town than in all the rest Of the Am
erican country Y" and then the congrega-
ton got up and dumped the preacher out
of the window.
An absent-minded professor in going out
the gateway Of his college ran against
COW. In the confusion Of the moment he
raised his hat and exclaimed, "I beg your
pardon, madam" Soon after he stumbled
against lady in the street In sudden
collection Of his former miahap he called
out, with look Of rage in his counte-
nance, Is that you again, you brute N
- Arrah, me darlint, cried jamie o.
Flanagan to his loquacious sweetheart,
who had not given him the opportunity to
" get in even word even edgewise du-
ring two hours ride behind the little bay
nags ia his oyster wagon, are ye sfther
knowing why your cheeks are like my
ponies there ii Shure and its because
they're red, is it III quoth the blushing
Bridget. Faith, and better raison than
that, mavourneen. Because there is one
of them aich side of a wagon tongue"