The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-05-22
Taking the Edge on,

| Saturday noon sort OF Sl0ucny-lOOklnS
hungry-eyed, cadaverous fellow stepped Int
restaurant on Fourth street, and said III
wanted a cup of coffee and u piece OF brcat
and butter The waiter told him that thu
place sold nothing short of complete din
ner, and the price was fifty cents Said TIT
stranger: well, you see amt real hungry
and ! only want "A little coffee and bit o
bread"
Waiter--"lt makes no difference; we sell
whole dinner for fifty cents, and nothing else
,Stranger-"YOu give a hull dinner for fifty
cents ?"
| Waiter-"Yes whole dinner; roast meat
potatoes, succotash, bread, butter, pie, pud
ding, cutfec and tea"
Stranger-"Well, s'posc you give man
all he wants to eatn'
Waiter-"Oh, yes; We fill you ap tor fifty
cents, and give you solid good plain meal
| Siranger-"Wcll, I've half mind to cal
with yc. The fact is, the Old woman give q
half loaf of bread and piece OF cold beet
for bite, and eat that up at Carpenter 8
ies' now with glass of beer. thought I'd
like IA good cup Of coffee and q little bread
and butter to kind o. wash the thing down;
but We say We can't gfme that
Waiter--"No, sir; we'll give you, as I've
said a solid square meal for fifty cents. You
can eat as little or RS much as you please
The strangers eyes opened and looked
thoughtful for moment, and then, striking
his fist on the table, he exclaimed: "By gum /!
bleeve I'll take it. amt right, real hun
CRY, hut bring on your roast beef and taters,
suckthash, tea, coffee, bread, pie and pud.
din Bring EN- on. by gum! I'm in for a
square meal, and my fifty cents worth"
The waiter hurried to respond, and the way
that strangers knife and fork played between
his mouth and the plates was Il caution. 1t
beat "A halfadozen pair of castincts, and
sounded more like a bone solo than anthing
else we ever heard. The waiter stood aghast,
and when he turned up with the third plate
of roast beef, the proprietor, pale as marble
from Vermont quarry, called him aside be-
hind the bar.
"For heavens sake, who is that fellow 2"
said he, "hc eats vitualS as fast as thrcsh.
ing machine swallows straw"
The strangers plates were beginning TO
show bottom again, and his eyes were run
ming up and down the room for the waiter
He did not stop in his eating, but simply
turned his back and let fly against the wall
with his heels.
"Gi' me s. more roast beef and taters," he
shouted
The landlord raised his hands ia horror.
"Great heaven, James! he'll clean us out"
said he, az the waiter sprang for the kitchen,
"Ain't We got morn'n wun kind of pie?"
inquired The str anger.
"Oh, yes said the waiter.
well, then, bring it on, and giv's sum o
that pudn, too. Jemimy # was only
hungry, how l d clean We out. Bring me two
cups of coffee and a cup of tea, too amt
only iis beginnln to eat"
The landlord listened with dismay, and,
stopping the waiter, as he entered the Kitchen
for the fifteenth time, walked solemnly upto
the stranger, ana said
"See herc We amt got enough in this
house TO feed you. Just go on now; ] will
call 1t all square. You ncedntpay cent for
what you've had"
The stranger became indignant, and de-
cined, saying that his appetite was just com
ing, and winding up with very emphatic:
changed if | will"
4 bright thought struck the landlord, as he
walked off IN mental agony. fastening to-
the bar, he jerked open the till, pulled out 4
half dollar, and, rushing up to the stranger,
placed it in his hand.
Here, here" said he take this and go
right up the Holly Tree Inn, and clean 'em
out. Go on. They Il feed you TIL you burst
for fifty cents
We'll" said the stranger, as he gradually
arose and stretched himself. at the same time
putting the scrip in his vest pocket, II don't
mind ct | do take it. | amt very hungry
anyhow. only wanted cup of coffee and
a piece OF bread and butter, when | come IN,
but m jis as we'll satisfied. guess | II buy
the old mare some oats; wait until get hum
to finish up and he leit.-1roy Times.