Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1875-08-05

dressed little girl: "How do you do, my lit
tie dear?" "Very we'll, l thank you" she re-
Piled The visitor then added "Now, my
dear, YOU must ask me how do" The child
honestly replied II don't care to know"
The heaviest snorer we have heard OF
is the man whose wife woke him up the other
night, during tempest, saying she did wish
he would stop snoring, for she wanted to hear
the thunder.
"Shall I help you to some tomatusses?' in
quired an exquisite of venerable physician,
as he sat opposite to him at one of our hotel
tables. mo, sir, I thank you" replied the
learned savant "but III trouble you for
some of the potatusses, if you please"
A lumberman out West being poorly pro-
vided with materials of sustenance for his men,
fed them with pork cooked with the rind upon
it. A young man of the company, not lik-
ing that outer portion of the food, was obser-
we'd by the host to be removing the outside
covering, whereupon mine host said, "4oung
man, we eat rind and all here" To which
the youth replied, Gail right, old man, I'm
cutting it off for you"
A Chinese boy, who is learning English,
came across the passage in his Testament, "we
have piped, and ye have not danced and
rendered it thus We have toot, toot to you /;
what's the matter you no jump?'
TRUE TO THE CHARAcrER.-"I say girls"
said a little blueeyed, haxen-haired boy on
Second Street, yesterday, "let me take your
candy, and we'l ali play chicken"
rs it nice?" inquired dozen six.year
olds, in chorus.
"Nice you bet it is Let me show you.
Now I'll lay the candy down here on the step,
and you all go down there and come up when
YOU hear me call like rooster"
The girls retreated, and gathered in a
group about fifteen feet off, while the boy got
on his knees, with his head over the candy,
and began to call and strut and flap his arms
like a ROSTERS wings.
"Cluck, cluck, rat, tat, rap, cluck," and all
the girls came running up, and bent to pick
up the candy, when the little fellow opened
his mouth, and took it in at one gulp::
20, you mean boy!" they cried; "you
have taken all our candy"
That's cause played rooster" said the
boy "a rooster always calls the hens up
when he finds grain ofcorn, and then picks
it up himself"
FLEEING FROM TEMPrATIoN.-A MEM
Der of a colored church was the other evening
conversing earnestly with an acquaintance,
and seeking to have him change into better
paths, but the friend said that he was too
often tempted to permit him to become a
Christian.
"Whar's yer backbone, dat ye can't rose
up and stand temptation!" exclaimed the
good man. 81 was dat way once. Right
in this here town I had chance to steal a
pair of boots-mighty nice ones, too. Nobody
was dar to see me, and 1 reached out my
hand and de debbil said take 'em. Den a
good sperit whispered fur me to let dem boots
alone"
Gan, you didn't take 'em ~
"No, sah-not much. / took pair O.
cheap shoes off de shelf an left dem boots
alone "- Ncksburg Herald.
HIS OwN.-"Yes, these are awful hard
times" said suffering capitalist, on La Sale
Street, as he stood on his steps, talking to a
friend, last evening
"Mig ighty tough, expect" was The reply.
"Why," said the the broker, "Pve been in.
vesting and investing for year back-a pile
of money, 1 assure you-and 1 find I've been
losing like fury.
:'Indeed?"
"True's I'm living. five lost cent, I've
lost more than 100000.
"Now
"Certainly," continued the broker, "and
what makes me feel the worst, is that fully
$3.50 of it was my o,pn.
He REMEMBERD.-Ano old lawyer, in an
interior town in Massachusetts, whose son ls
yet one of the brightest ornaments OF the bar,
was not very particular about the appearance
of his Office. In fact, twas notoriously dirty.
He was one day engaged in the trial of case
when it became necessary to prove that a
transaction, in which he himself had acted as
counsel, took place in certain year; The old
gentleman called to the stand Josiah A., who
had been student with him some years be-
fore. He was asked if he remembered the
occurrence, and he said he did-he was pres
ent in the office. "What year was it =" In
ouired Mr. H., blandly. 80, it was the year
.io,, Lo1 vour office sWept out" was the reply.