davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
The Cruelty Of Monkeys.

An amateur naturalist, writing of the
fondness of cruelty for its own sake OBJ
servable in the human species, says
''To refer to the striking similarity OF
this passion in man to that which is mani
tested by monkeys, is not, of course, to
explain its origin but I am quite sure
that it is in the monkeys that this ex-
planation is to be sought. Every one
knows that these animals show the keen
est delight in wantonly torturing others,
but every one does not know how much
trouble an average monkey will put him
self to in order that he may CRAFTY this
taste. One example will suffice. A
friend who has lived long time in In
dia tells me that he has not unfrequently
seen monkeys feigning death, for an
hour or two at time, for the express
purpose of inducing crows and other
carnivorous birds to approach within
grasping distance and when one of the
latter was caught, the delighted monkey
would put it to all kinds of agonies, of
which plucking alive seemed to be the
favorite. AS I am not aware that any
other animal exhibits this instinct of in
flicting pain for its own sake (the case of
cat with a mouse, belonging, think,
to another category, believe. if its
origin is ever to, receive scientific ex-
PLANTATION, it will be found in some way
connected with monkey life"
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
sstwIne rnr to Jinc the Band. ,,

The other night Fayetteville gentle
man was greatly disturbed by dismal
bowling in his kitchen, which he first
supposed was the sad refrain of some
loW-spirited tom-cat dying with the
bronchitis. Tracing UP the noise, he
found it proceeded from an old negro
woman that was rocking backward and
forward in chair, singing as vociferous.
" az her feeble lungs would allow.
g What are you doing, Aunt Peggy
exclaimed the irate Fayettesvilhan.
ssI'm ingin' of q hime, honey"
The d. you are what hime are
you singing
:. I'm singing, I'm gwine fur to jine
the hand =
Well, I'd like to know what band
you are gwine fur to jine
g De angel band, honey-de Lords
band .
{. Now, you'd make a nice angel,
wouldn't you, with the dirt an inch thick
on your hide. p ),
g Nebber mind about de dirt, honey, z
piously calculated Aunt Peggy, !" nebber
mind about de dirt-de Lord he got
plenty of soap, he has, and he runs de
ribber Jordan, me does nebber mind
about de dirt-I'm gwine fur to jinei'' Z
Here Aunt Peggy's tormentor fed, and
abe was left to exercise her vocal powers
at discretion. Fdyettesv6ttc EI10ress.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
A Annecdote Of Henry clay.

Many years ago, when the great Ken
tuckian, Henry Clay, was a candidate for
reelection to Congress from his native
State, the following incident actually oc-
CURED
On election day Clay was standing
near the polls, surrounded by number
of friends, when he was approached by
an old friend who was carrying a flint
lock rifle on his shoulder, as it was Gus
tomary for all backwoodsmen to do in
that early day. When he reached Clay,
he extended his hand to him, and said,
's Harry, as man like you; but you
supported measure during the last ses-
sion which think will prove injurious
to the best interests of the country +;
therefore, L cannot vote for you again. !"
Clay looked at him for few minutes
in silence then he took the gun off his
shoulder, and after examining it for a
short time said, "Did you ever have a
fine bead drawn through the sights of
your gun on noble buck, when the
flint snapped p The man answered,
eyes % Clay then continued, "Did
you break your gun over the nearest
tree, or did you pick the flint and try it
again2'' The mans face frightened up
he held out his hand TO Clay again, and
said, "Why, d-n it, I picked the flint
and tried it again, and I viii try you
once more" and ever afterward he was
one of Clay's warmest friends.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
Pith and Point.

MEN who can cut shine-G Glaziers.
Mrs. HoBsoN was 's Hobson's choice"
MORE men have fallen in love than in
war.
CHAIRS should never be covered with
silk, but satin.
QUESTION for horists-Is not a rich
mandarin China Astor?
IF a pair of spectacles could speak,
what historian would they name Fuse
bius.
A "JOURNEYMAN grammar -smasher {"
is what one St. Louis editor terms an
other.
A YOUNG man at Jersey City poisoned
himself rather than see his widowed
mother marry member of the Legis-
latlIre.
"CAN'T you make any allowance for a
mans being drunk" Certainly" said
the Judge, 81 allow you thirty days in
the workhoTlse."
A RUDE fellow told Ba1num tina. he
had never exhibited anything that was
not barefaced humbug. eyes have, I"
said Barnum, g the bearded lady wasn't t
barefaced." "
NOTHING gives the foreigners better
idea of the gigantic resources of this
country than the Baby Almond of Cali
fornia. Each nut yields about gallon
of prussic acid.
A DANBURY man, who bought a new
pair of boots Saturday, says q ship may
stand on one tack all night if it wants to,
but he finds an hour and half an ele-
CANT suficiency.
A FELLOW was told at q tailor's shop
that three yards of cloth, by being wet,
would shrink one-quarter of q yard
"Well, then," he inquired, elf You
should wet quarter Of yard, would
there be any left :"
A THOMAS street schoo1boy had just
got his face fixed to sing g Let us love
one another" when snow ball hit him
in the mouth and SO confused him that
he yelled Bill Sykes, just do that agin
and I'll chaw your ear off. y
| WHILE on her way to leap into the
river, Minneapolis girl met a man who
proposed marriage, and she turned back
and was happy. Almost any day now
one can count four or five Minneapolis
girls walking along the river banks.
WHEN can I get a chance tc
put this baby to sleep?" once asked 9
lady emigrant of Kit Carson, who was
conducting the train. s'Well, ma'am, .
said Kit, refiectively, "I don't exactly
know, but think it would be when we
get to the Rocky Mountains.
ssSuRE,'' said Patrick, rubbing his
head with delight at the prospect of {
present from his employer, '.I always
name to do my duty" 81 believe
you," replied his employer, ''and there
fore shall make you present of al
you have stolen from me during the
year" s'I thank your honor replied
Pat, :" and may all your friends and ac
quaintances treat you as literally"
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
Hessian liercenaries.

The Atlantic Monthly for February
has a really interesting article, written by
the historian George Washington
Green, on stthe Hessian mercenaries OF
our Revolution. The article shows
that our war was SO unpopular in En-
gland that Englishmen could not be got
TO enlist in the army to fight Americans
Foreign mercenaries were then sought
first in Russia. Catharine seemed to con-
sent but at length refused to sell &c, 900
Russians Holland was next interro-
gated, but, after discussion, refused to
send her sons, who had recently won q
successful rebellion, to go across the seas
to fight other rebels. Six German states
at length were found who would send
German hirelings. These were Bruns-
wick, Heese-G -Gassel, IHesse- Haven, Wal
deck, Anspach and Anholt-zerbst. They
sent 29, 1876 men. OF these, 1853 were
killed or died of disease. The remainder
Of the Germans settled chiefly IN Penn
gylvania, after the war, and became
Democrats. Their descendants have
voted for Jackson for the last thirty years.
England paid the German government
SIC, ,000, 600 for these troops.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
The Bitter bitten.

A dried-up old man, of apparently
about sixty years, strolled into billiard
parlor in this city yesterday afternoon,
and taking seat watched the players
with some interest. After he had re-
manned in the chair for some time he
was approached by q hanger one, ON the
outlook for greenhorn with whom to
play and save the cost of playing.
g Hello there, old man, do you ever
swing the cue !" said he. "Wal,
stranger, used to prance around little
ON three-cornered table fifteen years
ago, but don't s'pose i could hit the
first ball on this new-fangled thing, y said
the old man. "Well, I'm no player my
self; you'd beat me easy enough, 4
know; just take a stick, replied the nc
complished ssbeat. +" q Wal, . said the
old innocent, !" IN play just one game to
see If can scratch. Z md they both
banked for the first shot. The old
man had Gingularly good luck, for he got
the first shot and made o run of fifteen
points. The other looked on in aston
ishment while the player of g fifteen
years ago. was at work, and when he
ceased and counted mp the challenger
muttered an oath, took of his coat, and
went to work in earnest. He made five
points only, and the next time the old
man ran out the game. 'sI swow." said
he, g I've had the allfiredest luck: viii
you try another % g No, not by q darned
sight, you old fraud, said the sport, and
he walked Off to pay for the game, amid
the roars Of his companions and smile
from the old man, who remarked, 9 Tt Is
strange how / remember to play 80
well Fling gId0aton RepatbiicaR. 81
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
par.is, 0ldest Inhabitant.

The Boston Post says The Oldest
inhabitant of Paris, the Comte de Wal
deck, now in his one hundred and
eleventh year, is still seriously consider
ing the subject of taking out an lnsur-
ance policy on his life, and will no doubt
try it next year. Three years ago M. de
Waldeck was enthusiastic over the pro-
ject of a new theater near the Madeleine,
he having applied for the position of
director, although he would De about one
hundred and fifteen years of age if he
lived to see the building completed He
still wants the place, as he was director
of a theater bearing the. name proposed
under the first republic. A correspond
ent who saw the old man coming down
the Rue des Martyrs the other day
thought him looking remarkably we'll
On the Empress birthday he sent her a
bouquet. saving In a note that he was in
the world before the founder of the
Napoleonic dynasty He was an officer
under Napoleon, and was wounded at
Austerlitz. During the reign of terror
he was, like Sieyes, occupied in living,
no easy thing when one had the title of
Count, and when there was permanent
guillotine on the Place de La Concorde
but he succeeded by becoming q purveyor
of public amusements. He said the
other day that there was only one thing
pertaining to that time that he now re-
gretted-the costumes of the women.
There is nothing, he thinks, which shows
off the female form SO well as the dresses
worn under the Directory, and, one may
add, or SO much of it. There is no doubt
about the Count de Waldeck's age, he
having authentic documents and the
records Of the army to show that he must
be considerably over century"
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
VARIous powders, etc, placed in silk

VARIOUS powders, ETC., placed in silk
bags, or ornamented envelopes, are
agreeable to smell of, and also economical
for imparting a pleasing odor to linen
and clothes as these are packed away in
drawers, for they prevent moths. For
lavender powder take one pound of
powdered lavender, one-quarter pound
of gum benzoin, and-quarter of an ounce
of otto of lavender. For patchoui use
one-half pound of patchouli ground
fine, and very little of otto patchoui.
This herb is often sold in its natural
state as imported. and is tied up in half
pound bundles. Sandal wood sachet
powder is good, and consists of the wood
ground line. Cedar wood, when ground,
forms body for other sachet powders,
and will keep moths at distance. Dried
feRnel, when ground, is also used for
scent-bags, and ground nutmeg is liked
for this purpose. For heliotrope powder
take half pound of orris root, one quarter
pound of ground rose leaves, two ounces
powdered tonquin bean, one ounce vanilla
bean, one half dram grain musk, two
drops otto of almonds; mix it all by
sitting through coarse sieve. This Is
one of the best sachets ever made and
perfumes table clothes, sheets, pillow
cases, and towels deliciously.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
vim whisky Freeze.

1t was lately stated, as an example OF
intense cold, that in Montana, on the
night of january 13, the mercury I'M
the thermometers all froze, small quaint
ties of mercury In vials became cm-
gealed, and proof whisky placed out Oti
doors fro3e solid In half an hour. Thus
last item is the only one which hass
elected an expression of increduhty.-
The proof whisky that froze in half azS,
hour is regarded by a contemporary AS
beyond belief. The freezing of the mer-
curry happens at thirty or forty degrees
below zero, but absolute alcohol, it iRs
declared, has never been frozen, though
Prof. Farhday found it looked htklee
turbid when subjected to q temperaturtE.
(artificial) of 166 degrees below zero
Highwines contain 76 per cent of nlco--
hol. Proof spirits of government stand
ard are placed at so per cent. alc0Enli.
and, as the Newark On. J.1 Advertiser
remarks, the alcohol this Montana whisky
contained would have separated from tIms
water in the progress of freezing, Eaua
the "core" IN frozen barrel OF cider
IL il actually froze solid it was a harmless
variety of whisky. In the severest cold
of the Arctic explorations proof spirits.
never froze, though there was bur
lesque about the men in Parry's expeSE-
ton chopping the brandy out of the
caskwithRnax. The eprObable explanation
Of the Montana phenomenon is that the
spirits were set aside In an open vessel.
when the whisky evaporated rapidly and
left the component water frozen. WGsh-
isas7ton sSt0r.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
A Nice Little Game.

San Francisco people love strangers,
and they sometimes take 'em In. One of
'em loved me. stepped into a gorgeous
saloon, of course only to get a light.
There was bakers dozen of nice fell
lows in there. One of 'em spoke.
" just in time,' says he.
Sc For what z" says I.
"Penny under the heel" says he.
''All right, " says I.
''Take hand q says he.
g. I viii, says /.
Then he said the way to play it was to
put one heel on penny laid on the floor,
then reach forward with piece of chalk,
and mark ON the floor, as far as possible
from the toe, and the man whose mark
proved to be nearest to the toe was stuck
for drinks. It's a lovely game. / marked,
then another fellow marked, and in
reaching forward lifted his heel from the
penny then cuss behind him, quick
as a flash, picked up the penny, and
he gave me sly wink then he said
Your heel amt on the penny"
ft 1t is, said he.
It AIM says /.
Drinks that it is, - said he.
Done" says I.
/ found I was done. That fellow
hauled off his shoe and shook out another
penny.
They sell champagne by the drink here
at two bits glass. They had
some, and / disbursed $3,2 in coin.
That chap then came over and said,
I'll give you chance to get even."
How9" says /.
ssOdd or even, - says he.
's All right, says L
Then he made on piece of paper,
and held it SO Ieould see it then, odd
OF. even 2"
g Even" says 1.
/" You're stuck" says he, and turned
the six upside down, and it was nine.
I mur1nured just little. told hin
it was hardly fair to ask if wanted tc
get even and then show me odd. He
said it did look odd. JnHN.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12

LIoN's HRART.-A banquet has lately
taken place in Paris, at which Firmin,
the eminent publisher, presented a sir
loin of lion, 9 leg and heart of the same
animal, artistically cooked that is, dis
guised. The flesh, though firm and
close grained, could not be ranked
higher than with that from the horse.
The heart was not at all $ tender, !" but
rather tough. The meat was not Of q
nature to Justify the opening Of special
butchers shop, or the formation Of q
philanthropic joint-stock society, TO en-
courage the consumption of the delicacy.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
Excitemen. Over the Election Of A. J.


INashviile oor. Cincinnati commescaaAl
The Speaker tried to announce tho
vote, as he Is required to do, bus nsS
words could not be heard two fee6 1ro.n
his nose. he raped and pounded VILE
his gaveL but the noise OF tnas WEE
drowned IN the deafen1ng yelis. he them
sat down and calmly awaited Tor the
crowd to exhaust itself. Meanwhile the
members were waving hats and hand
kerchiefs, trying to quiet the excited
thronQ, but without speedy succeas-
Altogether il was a scene at once lu-
dicrous and dramatic
Finally the cheering ceased from aheex-
exhaustion, the vote was announced, and
Andrew johnson declared TO be elected
to the United States Senate for the term
of six years from the 4th of March next
Now more yells, cheers and confusion
and rush for the streets to carry the news
TO johnson at the Maxwell House. About
two thousand mem undertook TO bear tho
joyful intelligence. The first to get to
Mr.. Johnson's room (No. 5) was a Mr.
Taylor, of Clay county. When Taylor
got to the door he was SO exhausted he
could not say q word, and another man.
with moro enduring wind, rushed IN,
give A. j. the news, and with il an affsc-
tionate hug, bear fashion. Mr.. johnson
could not speak for some seconds, bu&,
tears followed each other in quick snc-
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
rHE rwo rEsAvELERs
BIZ WILLIAM CULLEN BRYANT.

Twas evening, and before my eyes
There lay . landscape gray and dim
Fields family seen and twilight ssars
And clouds that hid the horizon's brin.
saw-or was It that Slreasned7-
A waking dreAm7 I'll cannot say:
For every shape ~ real seemed
As those that meet my eye, to-day.
Through leaAess shrubs the cold wind hissed
The air was thick with falling snow;
And onward, through the frozen mist,
saw weary traveller 60.
Driven DER that landscape bare and bleak.
HeYore the whiEaing gasts Of air,
And gathered on his silver hair.
Yet ON he Jared through binding SHOWS,
And murmurtng 20 himself he said:
1ne night IL near, the darkness grows,
And higher rise the drifts tread.
Deep, deep each autumn flower they hide.
Each tuft Of green they whelm from sight;
And they who journeyed by my side
Are lost in the surrounding night.
e.I loved them; oh, no words can tell
The love that to my friends bore;
We parted with the ead farewell
OF those who part 70 meet no more.
81 And I, who face fhis bitter wind,
Must end II yjourney soon and ind
A frosty couch, = frozen sleep"
As thus he spoke, thrill Of pain
Shot TO my heart /; closed my eyes,
And when opened them again
started with glad surprise.
Twas evening still, and In the west,
dush OF glowing crimson lay;
saw the morrow there, and blest
That promise of glorious day.
The waters, in their CLASSY aleep
shone with the hues that tinged the sky,
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
An ON BnADE.-John E. Paget.

An ON BnADE.-John E. Paget, of
Cornish Flat, n. H., still shayes himself
with razor which was the only one used
by his father, who got it of an old man
eighty years of age, who in turn bought
It when he was young for sixpence at a
pawnbroker's shop IN the city of Glas-
gov. It was an old razor then. AIRS.
Paget has o looking glass which was
brought into Cornish about 113 years
ago, and has been in use ever since. Ii
is seven by ten inches in size, is sound,
and seems good for another hundred
Yaara.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
California STYLE.

Not long since, a German was riding
along SAMSON street, near Sacramento.
when he heard pistol-shot behind himr-;;
heard the whizzing of ball near him..
and felt his hat shaken. He turned and
saw a man with revolver in his hand
and took of his hat and found . fresh
bullet-hole IN il.
Did you ahoot at me3'' asked the
German.
2 Yes,n replied the other PArtys-
9 that's my horse; it was stolen from me
recently. p
e Yon must be mistaken, = said the
German, .. I have owned the horse fE
three years.
= Well. y naid the other, tswhen Ic0mD
to look &c him, believe am mistaken
Excuse me, gir; won't you take drink -
CoLoRADo has established an agHieulE-
Y,ral s.n1loorn
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
THE HEIRS HEIR.

Who Is that charming creature, Ave
nelg''
:. What not know Mrs. Banvard, the
belle and beauty of the season Not to
know her, Henry, argues yourself un-
known
s. From the depths of my social OBJ
security have heard of her neverthe-
less, I had no idea she was SO beautiful.
A rich Irish widow, is she not -
Yes; she accompanied her father
and his second wife to England last
June, and is so well pleased with society
here that she intends to remain perma-
nently, / believe. She is fabu1ously
rich, and, as You see, very beautiful, and
has the reputation also of being very
amiable and intelligent. If it were not
for one drawback. should advise YOU
to fall in love with her, Henry"
ssAnd what is that, pray
tsThe drawback is that, in case she
marries again, she forfeits all her for
tune
"I never could marry her, Avenel,
with or without that proviso," said
Henry.
81 was not aware that you are en-
g / am not engaged. But I am poor,
and / would not be guilty of the mean
ness of even seeming to marry for
money. And surely would not be the
means of bringing a splendid woman
like her down to my level of penury."
t'That last would be rather unpleas-
ant, 1 confess. But I cannot see any
if he can love her well enough. And ]
don't think she would be very hard to
love, do you
ct cannot tell, I am sure, never hav-
ing tried, said Henry, with great frig-
idity.
Henry PercivaI was very proud. He
inherited pride from his mother, who,
having married against the wishes of her
family, and been cast off by them on
that account, had refused to mention
them, even to her son.
You need ask me no questions about
my family, Henry" she would say,
cooIly, in reply to his questions "they
are nothing to you. Your fathers name,
and the admitted talents you inherit from
him, are quite sufficient to you. And
you have, besides, your mothers love
and prayers-your mother, who takes
pride in no other name than that of Per
cival. -
During his fathers lifetime Henry had
known ssneither poverty nor riches. .
Mr.. Perciva1 had been q superior archi-
tect, and had never failed to provide
amply for his wife and son. But he
died and, during the five years succeed
ing that event, it had been rather uphill
work for Henry to provide for h1s mother
out of his earnings as clerk. His salary
however, had increased, year by year.
till, at the time my story begins, he was
head clerk in wholesale house, at rate
of salary that did not, certainly, const
tute afiuence, but, with frugality, was
quite sufficient Tor hls mothers and hli
own modest needs.
What Ill fortune, Henry wondered
had brought hum 20 Long Beacn 20 @ spene
his summer vacation there to NEE
Isabel Banvarda Nobody but himself
knew, thank fortune. what fool ne was
But he knew that, ne loved that Dr1ghs E11s
particular star, that snone as Iar aDovs eO:
his reach IS BeIfram d1d above me 1aI
Helena's. Wen, ne could keep nus oWl M
counsel, at any rate Lnls ne vas s uessr
mined upon. his mo1neI naa 1s'1t Pros5s
that stse eould keeP sseIe'e' '1iao - :" oe'l'
go hard If ne could not.
Henry stood upon the beaen, wa.cnlng 19e
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-12
nossl. ..i -. ~

same period for the improvement of
rivers and harbors was $50, $50, $40.
This sum was distributed as follows
On the Atlantic coast, SO, 587, ,173 Gulf
rivers, 81, ,438, 300. OF the total ex-
pended the sum of $21, ,242, ,O4o was for
the Improvement of harbors.