The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1875-05-26
Mr.. Disbccker,s Great Discovery.

As an authority on science Mr.. Police
Commissioner Disbecker is great success.
Mr.. Disbecker's scientific attainments have
not heretofore been the prominent topic of
admiration on the part OF his friends but
men Of his calibre have the pyrotechnic
faculty of developing some new beauty in
every corruscation. Just now Disbecker ap-
pears before the New York community as the
exponent Of the healing and grateful influences
Of garbage Not long since Professor
Chandler, of the Board of Health, assured us
that the washings CT the fields into the Croton
reservoir were not detrimental to health Mr..
Disbecker has improved upon Professor
Chandler, for he has discovered that garbage
is only another form Of the innate beauties of
nature that it is pure and harmless, invigor-
ating and delightful to oppressed senses. In
after years Disbecker will be remembered and
extolled as the Newton Of the nineteenth GEN.
fury, eminent among scientific men because
of this discovery. The only marvel is that
Dsbecker, like Newton and Calico and other
llustrious men of wisdom, does not take the
fullest advantage of his invention. He should
profit by it Immediately, and win from the
people Of New York the ultimate, if reluctant,
renown attending philosopher who has the
keenness to discover what is truth and the
courage TO avow it. Mr.. Disbecker informs
us as the result of many years of scientific
Incubation that garbage readily corrodes in
ashes, and that all the stories about the
noisome gases that exude from the Harlem
flats the offensive odors that arise from tbs
stagnant surface Of the green pools only come
from the imagination, and that garbage as de-
livered by the contractors on these uptown
districts is benefcent and wholesome arti-
Gle. The trouble with Mr.. Disbecker, like
many philosophers whose modesty stiles their
genius is, he does not follow out the logic of his
convictions with courage. Why should not
Mr.. Disbecker become professor of Garbage?"
II it is such an excellent filing for exposed
lots that police commissioner presents it as
a bouquet to the whole city, why not introduce
it as a perfume, as balm of thousand
flowers, new mown hay extract, or essence
of vanilla, or the ottar Of roses, ia
the theatres and operas and music
gardens and churches and other places where
multtudes do congegate and where this
sweetness might be enjoyed "Disbecker'G
Patent Double Distilled Extract Of Garbage
might become the fashionable perfume Of the
season Nothing but the modesty Of the emf
nent discovcrer prevents it from assuming
this value. Dsbecker does himself injustice.
lie neqlects the virtues Of his own compound.
Ii he IS only true to himself, to the convic-
tons he has SO admirably expressed 10 our
reporter. instead Of handing over the garbage
eathersrs to the police he will insist upon the
distribution Of the delightful but heretofore
unrecognized composition into every house,
hold Of the city, and thus allow US all to en-.
ioy the benefit Of the wonderful bouquel
which makes Harlem flats like that land
where the cypress and myrtle are emblemf
Of deeds that are done in their cline" We
do not desire to destroy the illusion thus con.
yeyed, but it would be great pity if follow.
ing out the figure Of the poet, the labors Of
Disbecker should be misconceived, and the re.
sult Of this treatment Of the worthy inhabi.
tants OF tho Harlem regions would be deeds
that ..should melt into sorrow or madden to
crime