Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-01-14
,-Hu.,,oro1,s.

Humorous.
They take life easy in Mississippi.
Domestic sauce" is kept in fam
lily jars.
A friend indeed is one who is not
in need.
Instead of waiting for chance,
make one.
Better run in old clothes than run
in debt.
A man sticks at nothing when he
tries to stab ghost.
A Chicago man has invented a bar
tenders bell-punch.
When it comes to point lace. all
women can see the point.
Speaking of the round world, much
can be said on both sides.
Forty Kentuckians rode two days
to kill a fox worth sixty cents.
People who dance never pay the
fiddler. 1t is those who get up the
ball. stft
Now is a good time to buy ther-
mometers. They are lower now than
they have been since last spring.
When an old barn and a pig-sty
burned at Ashtabula, Ohio, the other
day, ''the star-lit heavens were made
to quiver above the leaping, roaring
tlames."
An Iowa man has invented ten
barreled shot gun, and the face of the
small boy who didn't know it was
loaded is fairly radiant with hide
ous leer of satisfaction.
A Cairo man warns people not to
trust his wife, and she retorts by say
ing that he'll go without clothes all
summer before she'll take in washing
to rig him out again.
Oats may be good 10 soak the damp
ness out of wet boots, but how many
st. Louis men can afford to keep thir-
ty bushels of oats on hand for that
purpose?-DetrOn Free Press.
The Duluth woman who put the
kerosene can on the Ove-hearth
while she went out to trade with a
peddler, is now keeping house in
barn; kindly loaned for the occasion.
1t is generally believed in some of
the counties of Michigan that men
will do more plotting and planning to
rob hem coop, than wonld be neces-
sary to insure a successful bank bur
glary.
An inebriate man, walking along
the street, regarded the moon with
sovereign contempt: "You needn't
feel so proud" he said, lyon are full
1nly once a month and | am every
hight"
A Milwaukee man hid in a public
doorway and jumped out and kissed
his wife. She didn't whoop and yell,
Is he expected, but replied: Don't
De so bold, mister-folks around here
Know mep'
When Peoria youth goes to spark
/ girl he finds the old lady in one
corner of the room, the old man in
mother, and dog under the melo- 7
leon: and he is required to speak up
ike an orator.
There is none of Gods. creatures
for whom the recording angel reserves
4 larger share of pity than the man
to wrestle with the av-
erage boarding house sirloin.-Terre I
HGate GGz.
This world would be sandy des-
ert of lonesOmeness if women were .
lot privileged to attend auction sales J
md pay more for an old bureau than
l new chamber set would cost-De- /
'rOt Free Press.
A clergyman at Kansas City said {
f there was any one within hearing j
If his voice who would try to put .
top to Sunday dog fighting he'd like !
o have 'em rise up. A small boy
nd an old woman rose up. j
81 can't say as he went to Heaven" g
emarked a Fort Scott citizen of
deceased townsman, "but he paid
ill of eleven years standing only b
he day before he died, and you can a
Idge for yourself Il
The Manchester, N. H., Mirror
'ittily says: within year we have :
nown an apparently hopeless case of
consumption cured by an appoint :
lent to probate judgeship, and we
ont know of disease which Con
ressional nomination would not
ure."
Benjamin Franklin occasionally I
tnmbled upon the truth. He said: 4
The eyes of other people are the
yes that ruin us. If all but myself
'ere blind, l should neither want j
ne house nor fine furniture"
q