Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-05-20
ITEMS OF INTEREST.


THE Turner's Falls Reporter has fallen
in with a tramp who said his clothes were
like Niobe-all tears.
THE poor, patient oyster has suffered
from the winter just as much as other
people, but made no remarks about it.
KIssING-MATcHEs are suggested as sue
cessors of the spelling-matches. The
girl who can stand it the longest wins
the prize.
"MUsTARD color underclothing'' is all
the rage now for mems wear, owing
probably to an impression that it makes
one smart.
A Mr.. LYON, of Paris, Tex, won a
feather bed as a prize at a spelIing-match
recently. He has been Lyon around on
it ever since.
AND now, close on the heels. of the
grasshopper plague, we are threatened
with plague Of gnats. That would be
a gnat-ional disaster.
A PHILADELPHIA Judge reminded the
public the other day that street-cross-
ings belong primarily to pedestrians and
only secondarily to the drivers of We
hicles.
THE new American team of crack ri
| femen, to shoot at Dublin, is believed to
be much poorer than the victorious one
pitted against the Irish team in this
country last year.
"THE battle of spring" says the New
York E0enSng Nal, :" is fought with
blades of grass" What does spring
mean, then, by arming all her flowers
with pistils?-LOujSUiIe C0urier-J oe17eaI.
"HERE it is the 9th of May, and no
onions planted yet, mournfully observed
matter of-fact Rhode Island dame, as
she showed her glasses back and wiped
her eyes with very small table cloth.
| A YOUNG Scotch girl inquired Of a gen
tleman, in broad Scotch. the road to the
fremont House, Boston. He desired her
to follow him, and asked her how long
since she had arrived from Scotland.
Sax weeks, your honor" On their ar
rival at their destination she very coolly
inquired: :" Moo, sir, wull we just tell
me hoo ye kennel I was frae ScOtJa1a'9"
Do BOSTON women chew tobacco?
That's the question. Rev. 1Lr. Lathrop
has declared it a fact, before the
Women's Temperance Union of that
city. He not only makes this charge,
but, generalizing a little, claims that he
can get ten men to leave off chewing
where he can induce one woman to say
that she will never more use fine-Cu"
or "sWeet navy" Can such things be?
IN Boston, the other day, q vain young
fellow, dressed in a new spring suit,
called at the house of lady acquaintance
and asked her how she thought he looked.
"You remind me of early green peas"
was the answer. He was obliged to de-
part without solution Of this conun-
drum, but understood it afterWard when
he heard marketman say that early
peas looked nice but were very. insipid.
A TENNESSEE newspaper tellssa funny
story about little red bird in Lebanon,
which lately lost it's mate. Happening
to alight few mornings afterward on a
vine in front of a highly-polished Win
dow, he caught sight of his own refec-
ton, and, evidently mistaking it for his
missing companion, began to make love
TO it Narcissus-ike, and has continued
the practice every day since.
YEARS ago the pretty school-teacher
used to collar the boys and wallop 'em
one day and kiss them the next. Be
tween the two, however, they enjoyed
matters. But that was long ago. The
schoolma am of to-day collars the boys
the same, and pounds them just as hard,
but tall chap with a black mustache
comes around and gets in enough Of the
other work for the whole school; and
who says this is not an age of monopoly?
The following description may serve
to give an idea of the present style for
a suit: The train skirt IS mounted IN
the bulgare-plait and made Of limousine,
striped with blue and gray; the front OF
the skirt is of plain gray vivOgue and is
knife-plaited. Three limousine scarfs
are placed at equal distances apart; they
commence at the bulgare-plait, surround
the apron, form sailors knot in the
center and fall over each other in fringed
ends. The corsage cuirass is Of gray
vivogue and adorned with limou-
sine paysanne-shaped fichu; it is
trimmed with a fringe corresponding
with that on the scarfs; the ends Of the
fchu are joined at the waist under
bow and fall over the apron, continuing
the other scarfs.
THE disaster to the Paris aeronauts
resulted from the feebleness OF the
human intellect when the body is sub
iected to abnormal conditions. Probably
the oxygen gas which they carried with
them and inhaled when breathing be-
came difficult helped to unsettle their
minds. Sivel threw away ballast with
the frenzy of mailman, and his COM
panions acquiesced in the reckless pro-
ceeding; Spinelli did the same thing, and
| Tissandier, who had the clearest head in
the party, was too feeble to make any
protest. Hereafter, when aeronauts go
I'D to the altitude of six or seven miles.