The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1875-02-04
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the intention Of beating the fellows brains
out; as the thiefcame nearer the old man
whispered to himself:
"0h Lord, forgive me, I've been a mis-
erable ole sinner, but I'll never do il
again; l feel like as If my time was about
here; Oh Lord, just gimme chance, an
I'll be as square an angel as any of'em
Cuss this shooter, If she'd only go off,
The supposed thiefwas then only about
four feet away and he yelled hoarsaly
"Keep off Git out; ifye come come
six inches clusser I'll shoot the livers out
of ye."
But the thief did come closer, and in
a minute they Clinched and went rolling
over the floor, gouging, pulling hair
punching each other, and butting over
chairs with their heads, while the crazy
wife was doubled up unGer the bed in
the other room, yelling as loud as she
could:
Murder Fire Help! Murder Oh,
spare my husband; spare him good Mis-
ter Burglar, he's the only one I've got;
Oh, spare him, he's only a poor old
man !"
But they didn't hear her the boy was
thoroughly awake now, and as he
found himself rolling over floor punch
ing and getting punched, he thought he
was in dead lock with midnight bur-
glar, and gripped tighter; but the chances
were about even, and there is no telling
what might have happened if the boy
hadn't spoken; but the old man knew his
voice, and there was mutual letting up.
Then the old man struck light, and with
a lock of his boys hair between his teeth
he entered the bedroom and pulled his
half fainting wife out by the ear; pointing
to the somnambulist he said:
"Liz, it's all that ID boy; he's got
'em agin; Cuss the luck, why didn't you
holler? did l hurt ye much, Jim If that
old shooter had gone of, mebby you
wouldn't be stanin' there grinnin' an
feelin' so much like ye had licked yer ole
dad; but by golly, I'm mighty glad she
didn't shoot. What in thunder made ye
git that way any how?"
"WelI, pap; l 'spose it's all right, but
you gouged my pepper pHrty lively It's
all on account of that gal, and i sSSear
she'll never have chance to patch a
button onto shirt of mine. But l didn't
know nothin' about it dad, or l wouldn't
have punched you 80 fast"
Then as the cat rubbed against the
young mans leg, he kicked it across the
room where it landed on table, and
then he rubbed his eye, and said good
night.
Always be sure you are right before you
go ahead.
JIIMY'S OPINION OF THE "BOSS."
Jimmy Fitzgerald stumbled into our
sanctum this morning and interviewed
our reporter thusly:
~ want yez to say in the Dimmycrat,
that that shtory sha6tf"r writ about me
in his paper is doind lie."
"How so ?" we inquired,
"Well, I'll tell yez; III the beginnin', |
never fed AIRY horse in my life; that's
why the mule thried to kick me in that
shtyle, dye see%
dyes, l see," assented the listener.
~ wud loike yez to make him under
stond that Pm jist a poor orphant as is
thryin haard 20 make an honest livin' by
seliin oysters and if Mr.. Schaefer wud do
a little of that same, instid ofplundherin'
off O dacent people, he'd have little
betther chance of bein' respected by
thin same citizens. Now yez jist git
that up fur me, an 1 don't moind ifit
costs twinty cints; but l spose yez can
do it up all roight, l dunno"
"We shall try"
"All roight; good mornin' dye moind
now, and tell him never paid any attn
ton to horses or mules in my loife before
this. Good mornin' to yez."