The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-11-11
Wit and KumOr.

A VERY small man, wearing a very
large Ulsteg, is spoken of by his friends
as playing the role of sore thumb
SOMEBODY stole lot of tarts from
bakery in Concord the other day and
now the baker is lecturing on Lost Arts.
''LET me fly to him, " was what the
champion swimmers sweetheart said
when she spied-her Webb after his con-
quest.
GEORGE say, Tom, do take care
You nearly shot my father dead |" Tom
-"Sh don't say anything, there's
good fellow Take a shot at mine p
Feaach.
SEE here. Mr.. Hauser crawled into
sewer in Dubuque while drunk, and was
smothered In the mud Would you call
that whiskycide, sewercide or mudder?
Inter Ocean.
CONVERSATION between Cincinnati
young ladies' She's the most disagree
able young girl ever saw" eyes, and
the proudest, though her father packed
only 100 hogs last year"
THE NIsER.
A miser in the river fell the wave
Ran high. A fisherman, his life to save
Sprang in, and cried, Give your hand,
And will draw you safely to the land"
The miser, shuddering at the hateful sound,
Muttered, 81 never GIVE" and so was drowned.
From the German.
A MAN splitting rails in Texas with
stolen tools was killed, a while ago, by
a rebounding wedge, and still, In the
face of this awful example, there are
people who forget the statement that
"the wedges of sin is death. st.
Louis Republican.
The other day in New York, would
be fashionable lady called at neighbours
at what she thought would be supper
time. "Come in" said the neighbor,
eve are having tableaux." Sim so
glad, I" said the visitor" 81 thought [
smelt 'em, and I like EN- better than
anything for supper. !"
AT Portland, Me-, young man re-
Gently found that bis wife was becoming
too fond of another, but, upon remon-
strating with her, she left the house and
eloped with third man, railroad con-
ductor, and, the other day, the deserted
husband and lover were seen shaking
hands and condoling with each other.
A TEXAS Judge is credited with the
following decision The fact is, Jones.
the jail is an old, rickety affair, as cold
as an iron wedge. You applied to this
court for release on bail, giving it as
your opinion that you would freeze to
death there. The weather has not mod
Grated, and to keep you from freezing l
will direct the Sheriff to hang you at 4
this afternoon"
AN Ohio man visiting his friends In
Detroit not long since, and being invited
to accompany the family to church, dis
appeared from the house about o'clock
and did not return for about an hour. To
excuse his absence, he exclaimed: 81
wanted to be prepared when they came
around with the contribution box, and
I've walked more'n mile to get a nickle
changed p Detroit Free Press.
AN evangelist was enforcing the duty
of constant prayer upon a select COM
pany of sinners, when one of them arose
and frankly confessed that he prayed
twice a year. sEI'm glad to hear that
you prayed at all, said the good man,
stbut twice year is not enough. !"
Can't help it, replied the brother,
CT always pray until the cholera season
is over, and don't begin again until the
base ball season sets in"
A CITIZEN of High street left town with
his wife four or five days ago for short
country trip, and the Oldest boy, a youth
of 13, was instructedto hail some farmer
and contract for winters supply of po-
tatoes. When the father returned the
boy met him at the gate, saying 'Ive
got them Eaters, pa !" Chow many 2"
'sNinety bushels in the cellar now and
forty more coming to- morrow !" replied
the exultant boy Detroit Free Press.