Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-01-21
How an Austin City Fashion Reporter
Lived and Died.

THE fashion reporter of an Austin City
New paper described the belle of the
masquerade ball in the following astound-
ing language: "The most gorgeous,
stunning, high-toned, richest, fastest
classest, incest, or any other adjective for
costume In the outfit was that worn by
Miss frankie Clarke. She was the high
falutinist, gayest, and galusest dressed
gal in the room. She appeared as a page,
and she was q page that no man would
leave any other, read. Both in costume
and action she was as perfect as big
sunflower" A couple Of days after the
appearance of the notice into the edito-
rial room Of the paper stalked young
man. His brow was wrapped in thunder,
his body in a suit of tweed, and his
hands clasped big lump Of hickory.
He pulled paper out of his pocket, and,
pointing bis finger to the paragraph,
said: al want ter see the man az wrote
that ere.n II am the individual" re-
piled the person. swat did yer go and
do it for, that's wat ] want to knowW
Oh, because thought you'd like to see
your girl made out one of the most be-
witching females that was ever sent on
earth to keep man from his hash and
drive balmy sleep from his pillow"
Now, look here. Ever sence that was
published / can't get word out of her.
She sets In front Of the looking-glass and
keeps gain on herself, and maxim
squirt eyes at her dress. and puckerin'
up her mouth and actin as il she were
blasted sight better'n anybody else. /
want this ere thing fixed or there'll be
editors situation vacant" He looked
significantly at the club. For moment
the reporter stood In profound thought;
then his face frightened and he said:
" I'll fix 1t in next weeks paper. After
you've seen the next issue call and tell
me the result" The young man left. In
the next weeks paper appeared the fol-
lowing paragraph:
A CoRREcTIoN.--w made grave mistake in
our issue Of last week. In our description of the
masquerade ball we accidentally substituted the
name Of Mrs frankie Clarke for that Of Miss
George Waller. Anyone who IL acquainted with
the first named lady must have discovered the
error. 1t IL true that she appeared for what was
intended as a page but she looked good deal
more like boot-black In hard luck. She Ia not
good-lookiDg, her actions were absurd, and every
man In the room kept az far from her rs possible.
She thinks of moving out Of this community as
it's unappreciativc. When she goes she will be
escorted out of the town by brass band. The
people OF Austin will gladly miss her from among
them.
The next day the young man entered
the office. In his hand he bore rifle
and his belt was ornamented with q big
six-shooter and tremendous bowie
knife. He sailed up to the reporter. 81
look warliko, don't IL don't feel bit
like fghtin', you bet. You jest oughtcr
hev seen her when she read that correc-
ton. Why, she jest danced Jig with
madness and she sot down and cried,
and then she come up and threw her
arms around my neck and said: Arthur,
do you love mey' You bet your best
bonnet on that said /. Well. never
expect me to speak to you again if you
don't 60 and kill the Teller wat writ that
SANDER In course l promised.
And here / am TO kill you" He laughed
long and heartily. After time he
quoted down, and the reporter said: ~
suppose, In order to make 1t all right be-
tween you and your girl, I've got to be-
come corpse. I'll do 1t. Sit there q
minute, and I'll fix the business" He
sat down at desk and scrubbed away
for few minutes. and then returned
with sheet of paper on which was
written:
announce the sudden death of Mr.. Charles Keller,
The young and talented fashion editor. In a
moment OF mental alteration he had slandcred
m hs sy hna rans
Yesterday her betrothed called ut this Office and
asked for the author of the SANDER. and when he
discovered him, shot him dead on the spot. This
paper will be unable to give fashion gossip here
after We find it impossible to iii the place left
| vacant by Mr.. Keller. Though orratic, he was a
| man of kindly heart, and could listen more at.
| tcntivey 10 stale stories and drink more bad
whisky than any man in Austin, X. l. p.
That's your Sort said the Infatuated
| lover. That's the thing to at. Come
along, Mr.. Corpse, and hist little light
ming" The lady was satisfied when the
paragraph appeared in the next issue Of
the paper, her lover was regarded as a
hero, and the Austin paper ceased to give
reports Of fashionable balls.