The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-08-03
Gleanings.


John Hay believes 10 the fish diet,
Coal mine trouble about coaed down.
For music lovers-a Patti on Grisi
plate.
Abraham was the first sick man. He
had Hagar in the wilderness.
The horn of the house.Ay is once more
heard on the hill.
Boston Post "Gardens are getting
sassy" oh, you must be green,
When does man have to keep his
word When no one will take it.
The way for delicate old bachelor to
secure better quarters is to take "better.
half"
We'd like to know, just for the fun of
the thing, how many Vermont women
wear nightcaps,
George W. Curtis prefers to ccok Lis
own beefsteak, and his hired girls 20 ard
come like the waves on the shore,
The Cardiff giant is to be sold to
San Francisco Chinaman for an idol.
though he has been idle for q long time.
Evarts is mad now because be spoke
but seven days, when he was all ready to
gush away until the Fourth of July.
A St. Louis man has invented cannon
which throws ball eighteen miles, and
man has no chance to dodge it.
Boys have Divers reasons for hockey
ing from school just now. If you doubt
it examine their hair.
The children in Florida say they live
on sweet potatoes in summer, and on
strangers in the winter.
To Archbishop Whately is ascribed this
paradox The larger the income the
harder 1t is to live within it,"
Why does duck 60 under water9
For divers reasons. Why does she 20
on land ? For sun.dry reasons.
The Wisconsin farmer who left eau.
die burning 10 the barn so as to scare
thieves away has no barn to watch now.
Are there any fools in this city 2"ask.
ed stranger Of newsboy. "No do
you feel lonesome ?" was the reply.
A little wart.backed hop toad will
oreas SR eFSanst ghfgtS gShfdgaS that ever gath
cred
81 wonder what makes my eyes SO
weak, " said fop to a gentleman. "They
are in weak place" responded the lat
ter.
a landlord, having let all his houses
but one, was asked if that unlet house
was last. "Yes last. but not leased" "
was his reply,
How odd it is, said Pat as he trudg.
ed along on foot, one hot sultry day,
THAT man never meets cart going the
same way he is"
There was no funeral over Barnum's
fat woman, and the undertaken was al.
lowed to smoke a clay pipe and make
puns.
Almost every passenger going to
Europe these days buys rubber suit.
hangs it on hook, and wears his hat on
his ear.
Josie Mansfield, finding that she wasn't
a lioness in this co untry any more, has
returned to Paris to horsewhip French
editor.
Is your name Thompson? If so, why
alra in tbaA AL
gold waiting for you in the Bank of Eng
land.
When an earthquake gets away with
10000 people and 5000 horses in one
day, George Francis Train might as well
chain up his windmill.
Daniel Webster's library sold at half.
cost the other day. No premium
chromos were advertised,and people were
not anxious to invest.
Stanley Waterloo, of the st. Louis Re-
publican, is college graduate, and can
swear in Latin at the cockrosches who
run off with his pencil stubs.
This hasn's been a good season for cir
/ cuses thus far. Five different circuses
have been dissolved and the lion goeth
about mourning for his leg o'mutton.
There are five or six New York mer-
chants who haven't yet been implicated
in the silk smuggling, but they cant tell
what day may bring forth.
Sherman expects to make $4,000 out
of his book, but what is money to a man
when he daren't move out doors after
dark for fear of being hit with club
The Chicago Journal man is innocent
and unsuspected He says he hasn't
seen any ladies wearing silk stockings
with silk flower embroidered on EN-.
It is said that the world weighs five
hundred million billion tons but there
was bushel of potatoes on the scales at
the time. and We call for a new weigh,
A Missouri editor has eaten baked
grasshoppers and pronounces them good
An ordinary hog would have eaten them
raw, aud saved the trouble Of baking.
A Memphis man has got up at least
once night for seventeen years to look
for burglars in the house. and though be
has never found one, his wife won't give
up hopes
St. Louis clergymen steal their sermons
from the daily papers of that city, aud
pew rents are booming right up, and ed
itors are given seats right up by the pull.
lpit.
t The Brooklyn Argus wants to know if
, unhealthy smells are healthy, but the So.
! cial Science Convention has adjourned
and this town can't furnish any informs.
tion.