The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1875-04-02
HOME AND ABROAD.

Why did Freedom die? Kos -ciuslSo
fell.
Our Johnny is still on his wedding
tower.n
Our merchants are receiving and
opening spring and summer goods.
Sheriff Rice has turned over all taxes
as delinquent that have not been paid.
Cross walks sloppy and ladies skirts
and noses elevated at an angle of 45
degrees.
We this week furnish full market
report, and shall hereafter endeavor to
keep it up.
Come along and see us now and bring
along your wife's sister. We are ready
for company.
A dressmaker's apprentice speaks Of
her cross-eyed lover as the man whose
looks are cut bias.
"Marry q widower! not Ip' said Ma
tilda. "Babies are like tooth-brushes.
Everybody wants her own.
Our colored grinder says he is down
on Methodist meetin' dat introduces
baptism befo' conversion.
Rev. II. w. Stratton will preach in
the Congregational Church next Sun
day at II A. NJ, and p. NJ.
The girls who tend tables at Connect
ieut fairs, and sell kisses at 10 cents
kiss won't give three for quarter.
Avoid annoyance; be cautious and
kindly. 1t is not safe to trample upon
so humble thing as bit of orange
peel.
If man drops down upon a chair
where a bad boy has left bent pin,
he will rise like phoenix from its
ashes.
1t is noted that all great humorists
are sober and sedate, with melancholy
cast of countenance. F'rinstance, look
at our Balsam.
When Comstocker wants to dis
parage another he says: 'When you
thoroughly prospect him, you'll find no
bonanza in him."
The Linn County Teachers Institute
met in this city yesterday, with full
attendance and was in session when
we went to press last evening.
Rev. Mr.. Stratton, the new Presbyte-
rlan preacher who has just arrived here
from the East, seems. a pleasant gentle
man and is evidently an able divine.
Yesterday was All Fools Day, so
look to see many younker limping
about this morning with his toe tied
up in rag saturated with coal oil and
gin.
A little Gospel Ridge girl, on re-
turning from a children's party was
asked if she had good time. She an
swered; eyes, but there wasn't much
boys there.n
w. A. Mcpherson has sold out the
PJdindedler and gone to keeping ho'
tel in Roseburg. Well bet there won
be any very large procession of cock
reaches about Macs table. -
Our Balsam has lately been noticing
a thing or two, and he says the best
way to play billiards is to sit on a higl
chair and make remarks, because thel
you are certain to win, however th
balls may circulate.
! One fortunate thing in being a KIM
is, that kings never have to play edito
+ and dish up five columns Of local
when there is isn't anything to writ
about but hungry New Foundlan
pup and Methodist revival.
Easter Sunday was the beastllest da
of the winter. 1t blew perfect gal
all day, and showed, rained, hailet
sleeted and cut up more didoesgenel
ally than an army of defeated candi
| dates at a political convention
The Exchange Hotel, under the exec
lent management of Hale Backenst'
7 is fast arising to the dignity OF mrs
/ class house. With that and the S
Charles, Albany now has two of
| good houses as any city in Oregon.
Helen M. Cooke writes that "kiss'
! on her brow are the richest diadems
woman's soul aspires." And yet a fe
q low who kisses a lady on her bro
+ while her rosy lips are making motioi
/ like patent clothes wringer, is not Il
+ man for the position.
: "Slippery JIM sends us an item, b.
as we don't know Mr.. S. Jim and |
9 doesn't tell us what his other nan
4 was before he left the States we can
a print his item. The real name mn
accompany all commune ations to il
: sure their publication.
O Your paper costs you less thap 81
! cents week; less than diligent he
d earns In week at the market price
4 eggs; less than the cost Of cigar a da.
IS less than q single glass of Porter.
! penny day can be saved in many
I? way better than stopping your COUNT
+! paper
= M. G. Felu, the armless painter
|, Antwerp, is now copying some pictur
: in Kensington museum, London. III
a facility with which he manages h
!. brush with the right foot, while hol
Il ing his palette with the left, is marvC
i Gus. Exchange. We think we ha'
; seen a specimen picture painted wi
+ this Felu's, foot. 1t was sold by pc
n dleri In this city the other day, and loo
just as ifit had been done that way. IT
! foot had evidently been used with 'ma
I? vellous facility spreading tiie pal
l. most coplously about.
g 1t Is confidently believed that II "
# not a santiam school boy who stu
.r his teacher Oh the following essay
N "stieks'; f'There are a great maj
r. sticks in the world--some big and sor
4