Middletown transcript., 1875-10-16
Baritties.

wear gowns willie preaching.
Only one-seventh Of the land in Mis-
sissippi is under cultivation.
The latest Journalistic enterprise in
London is the Obituary, weekly death
list.
A visitor to Saratoga says his coat
was brushed about one hundred times
day
The ground at Mt. Clellan. Col. Was
found fresen ninety feet from the sur
face.
Heavy forgery-A cannon that cost
81, 800, 900 has been forged in Egg
land.
A scientist declares that California
has not been out Of the Sea ! great
while. q ssi'f.
Why do white sheep make more
noise than black sheep 7 Because there's
!
more of them. sis1 ~
Water is 90 dear il San fransisco
that it is proposed to raise the price Of
mixed drinks.
Saratoga hotel porters bring you
their cards on silver walters when they
show you your room.
A Georgia planter boasts six daugh-
ters. each Of them six feet tall. He
thinks them little above par, @
Mr.. Ham, of Denver. Who Was
thrashed for making sweet eyes at his
neighbor's xifs. is now pronounced
thoroughly cured.
Michigan boasts Of the nost inge-
niops man in the country. Aooitissh Of
that State has just been awarded apat-
ent for new style Of lady's bustles
There is now building ii Wyandoste,
Mich, steam yacht, capable Of carry
ing fifty passengers, which, it is guar
anteed, shall 60 thirty miles an hour.
Economy is beginning to prevail again.
At funeral. Saturday, nine men ap-
peared with unblacked boot heels.
Contentment is said to be better than
riches, but the latter is good enough
for ye writer. g
How much is metre r aaks
Cleveland paper. Wait til the gas
man comes around-he'n give you
liberal figures.
"Hov many people. says Jeremy
Taylor. "are busy in this world gather
ing together hsndfal Of thorns 70 sit
upon 2"
II don't think, husband, that. you
are very smart. . "No. indeed. wife.
but everybody knows that / am awfully
shrewed.
A Chicago editor boasts that he''can
stand on his intellectual capital. We
suppose be means he can stand on his
head.
One difference between timid child
and q shipwrecked sailor is that one
clings to its ma, and the other to its
spar.
An Iowa court has decided that it is
not legal for farmer to hitch his wife
up with mule, no matter how anxious
he is to plow. esii 4ss'i 9
An American paper begins ! forcible
appeal to it's Delinquent Subscribers
with this touching ssentenee: 1--WE
must dun or be DONE"
A man 10 New York. after spending
half the day in .haviug his water pipes.
discovered the water Was cut of for
non-payment Of rates. sat
.It's melancholy thing when those
you depend on turn against you," as
the gentleman said when the baker
asked him 70 pay bis bill.
A judge has recently defined "gen-
tleman" as . term which includes
anybody who has nothing to do and is
out side Of the work house. siesz -
The old lady who believes every
calamity that happens to herself trial,
and every one that happens to her
friends a judgment, is not yet dead.
A New Hampshire woman committed
suicide, .'to let her husband know how
good it was to have funeral and hired
girls around"
There is q man in New York whose
memory is 90 short that it only reaches
to his knees. Per consequence. he
has not paid for bis last pair Of boots.
An old Grecian philosopher advises
all men to 'know themselves" That's
advising good many to form very low
and disreputable aequaintanees.
We are constantly told that evening
wore on, but what the evening wore.on
such occasions We are not informed.
Was it the close of summers day I
II do not think, madam, that any
man Of the least sense would approve
your conduct" /" s"Sir, how can you
judge what any man Of the least sense
would do 7"
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