Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-08-06
Gleanings.

The rival railroads will soon DC lseuAHe
chromos.
A Schenectady girl at spelling school
sat down on pantaloons.
AT recent spelling match one man
spet it ''pasnip" and g.. ".,cc. cc.-'--,....- :.
One swallow does not make spring,
but dozen swallows sometimes make one
fall.
No man can become thoroughly &C
quainted with his family history without /
rnnning for Office
The Snake Rum Academy is the name
of an Indian school, The scholars mus
all be adders
"Quils are things that are sometimes
taken from the pinions of one goose 10
spread the opinions of another"
Old gent-''What do you wear specs
for, my boy?" Bootblack-"Cos l puts
such shiny shine on gentlemea,s boots u
hurts my eyes"
The man who pronounces don Quix-
otte" "Donkeyhote" shows a disposition
tofntrude his own name that is not COM
mandable.
A Western man, reading of cricket
club in New York paper, writes the
editor to know if the club is good for any 4
thing for grasshoppers.
" What kind of sauss % is fhem@
aueried an old la'~ u the young man of
literature peanuts, as he passed
through the train selling bananas.
NO." said Mrs. Podgers, very positive
ly, "if go into the country, Mr.. Podgers
goes with me. TINS a;n't no safe
place to leave man alone in. -.
Mr.. D., IF you'll get my coat done !
by Saturday, I shall be forever indebted to
you" eff that's your game, it won't be
done," said the tailor.
How a woman can keep on talking
while she twists up her back hair and has
her mouth full of hair pins is mystery !
not yet explained.
An Illinois woman who wanted to go
to masquerade party as Mary, Queen of
Acots, looked through the Bible to ascer-
tain how the character was dressed.
Minnie, I'm in such quandary; for if
l turn my back on Charley he becomes
offended at once, and if l don't he can't
see my new buckle. What shall dor"
Artists have adopted many emblems of
charity. We wonder if none of them
ever thought of piece of Indian rubber,
which gives more than any other sub
stance.
A kind-hearted, peace-loving Baltimore
man painted his front steps twenty-four
times trying to please his wife, and then
she decided that the first color was the
best.
Reynolds. the dramatist, observing the
thinness of the house at one of his pieces,
said II suppose it is owing to the war"
NO. was the reply, ''it is owing to the
piece"
A young lady, after reading attentively J
the title of noFel, called ''The Last
Man." exclaimed, "Bless me, if such q
thing were to happen, what would become
Of the women"
Il declare" said Susan, as she watched
the people coming into church, that man
looks like piece of dried beef" "Hushp'
said her sister, sit isn't meet in you to
talk So"
A Newark girl hastencd the departure
of lingering gentleman caller the other
evening by remarking as she looked out
of the window, Il think we shall have
beautiful sunrise"
"Will you have small piece. of the
light meat or small piece. of the darks" I
asked Bo3s uncle, as he carved the turkey 4
at dinner. | will take a large piece of
both,' answered Bob.
If, says a cotemporary, Brigham Young
wore an additional weed on his hat
every time he lost wife or motherin-law
1t is estimated that his hat would have to
be twenty seven feet high.
Yet another warning; Joseph Bates Of
Vermont, falls dead while carrying in an
armful of wood. Show this paragraph to
your wife. Nay, cut it out and pin it to
the woodshed door.
A near-sighted Boston man was lately
riding in street-car, when a lady opposite
bowed to him. He returned the bow.
raised his hat, smiled sweetly, and was
just wondering who she was, when she
came over and whispered in his ear, 'Oh!
knew that it was his wife.
1t is the sagacious remark of q keen
observer that you can generally tell q
newly married couple at the dinner table,
by the Indignation of the groom when q
fly ali ghts OF the brides butter
When a boy falls and peels the skin off J!
his nose, the first thing he does is to get
up and yell. When girl tumbles and
hurts herself badly, the first thing she does
is to get up and look at her dress.
We see through it at last The butck
sticks those miserable little wooden pinsA
which no amature carver can contemplate
without profane impulse-into the roastA
ing piece to make it seskewer.
ladder company has been organized in his
neighborhOod. He states that the ladder
is used after dark for climbing into the
hen-house, after which the hooking is
done.
Quin, the actor, being asked by lady,
why there were more women in the world
than men, replied, ut is in conformity ,
with the other arrangements of natura--
we always see more of heaven than OF !.
earth. " Y
Write me while am away" said Jones
to Mrs. Jones, after an affectionate good
bye. "Treacherous man" meditated the
lady. Nat one letter does he get! He !.
wants t Them to some Western news 4
paper"
A literary ice-cart driver, who has BEEN
annoyed by children who have been inv
the habit OF pilfering his ice, now displays
as a warning: IN. B." He thinks they
will understand that that means Take
Notice"
A California octogenarlan had buried
three wives whose maiden names were
Green, Grass and Groze. He stirred up
the fire with kerosene the other day,
and now he lies in the cold, cold grave, !,
and the green grass grows above him.
Two years ago Pennsylvania servant
girl was sent to Prison for stealing $2O0
from her employer. The money was :
found the other day where he had hidden
it, and now the man offers the girl IS q
recompense, while she is wiling to settle
for ten thousand.