The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-05-28
OUR LIAR.

Mr.. Dickens, in one Of his reprinted
pieces, very faithfully and humorously
describes Our Bore, creature to be
found in every village and hamlet in the
world indeed, so truly did he depict
him that when reading ii imagined that
the bore / knew best must have sat for
the picture. There is another character
equally ubiquitous with the bore, and
possessin many of his qualities, which
shf II make the subject of the present
SIX ich. / shall write of "Our Liar.
You see them, meet them, every day. Go
where you will, on the the cars, in a
steamboat, in a saloon, to a circus, a
town-meeting, public assemblage of
any kind, or anywhere, and you will find
"Our Liar" the center of a little coterie
He is an orator in his way, and very
eloquent. He attracts men like sugar
does flies. You may not believe in him;
you may despise him bat you want to
hear him, and when he is done you Will
pronounce him the greatest liar you ever
saw. There are many kinds of liars.
There is the profound liar, who is gener-
ally an old man with white hair and sober
mein. He walks about with q cane, and
daily sits in the Postoffice or grocery. He
tells the most marvellous stories of what
he saw and did when young man, and
speaks with such apparent candor and
truthfulness that you are compelled to
say to yourself 81 cannot believe his
story, but there certainly must be some
truth in il" Then there is the shallow
liar ; he is the fellow with expressionless
face and big mouth he lives to lie he
never deceives anybody, however. He
is as transparent as a clean window-pane.
He never told the truth III his life, pur-
posely, and you never expect him to he
hes about the commonest affairs of life.
He has seen great many wonderful
things that nobody else ever saw. 1t was
his peculiar good fortune so see q white
squirrel with three eyes that no other
human being ever saw. He once had in
his possession hen named "Betty,"
that raised six orphan pigs, and if he had
that hen now he wouldn't take million
dollars for her ; no sir, he wouldn't
When that hen died there wasn't dry
eye in the village where he lived. Owing
10 similar streak of good luck years
ago, he saw at Bucks county, Penn,
man at circus swallow q boa constructor
8 feet long. He wouldn't have believed
it could have been done if he hadn't seen
it with his own eyes. The other people
who were at the circus are all dead now,
and the men who performed in it are all
dead too if any of them were living he
could prove it by them.
Then there is the itinerant commercial
liar. He is keen, sharp, and cunning.
You have seen him probably peddling
razor-strops and paste, sir, that had won
the distinguished admiration of the
crowned heads of Europe. You have
heard him on a street-corner vending the
wonderful and sublime corn-extractor,
which is instantaneous and pangless !;
took the premium at the Worlds fair
against 81, 600 competitors 81 bottle
and recipe thrown IN. Or perhaps you
have seen him trying to induce the pig
headed populace to buy the celebrated
South Sea Island pile remedy go cents
box, which has been extolled to the
skies by. President Grant. Peter Cooper,
Bismarck, and Pope Plus TX. Secret OBJ
tanned from an aged Indian. Or you may
have heard him say to gaping crowd /:
" Gentlemen, this is probably you last
chance to get bottle of the world
renowned, subhmely-famous, and justly
celebrated Wizard Oil, which cures all
diseases flesh is heir TO. II cures piles
in Is minutes, gout in Is, cholera in IL,
black tongue in II, spotted fever in 10,
headache and consumption in 30 seconds.
For Gods sake, my Christian friends, do
not neglect your physical welfare. You
are rapidly rolling toward eternity; only
81 per bottle; walk up, walk up, gentle
man, to the great fountain of health and
drink from its exhaustless depths. Any
man failing 10 buy this renowned and