davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21
cAxro 1.-THE YOUNG AvENeER.

Young Walters to the plumber gone,
4 boy with smut on nose,
Furnace and carpet sack In hand,
With the jOurneymen he goes.
Now grown "a Journeyman himself,
In grimy hand he gripes
\ candle-end, and meath the sink
Explores the frozen pipes.
His furnace portable he lights
With smoking wadS of news
Papers and smiles to see within
The pot the solder fuse.
lie give his fiat: " They are iroZe
Down absut sixteen feet;
lfyOu want water ere July
You must dig up the street.
Z" Practical Plumber now Is he
As witnesseth his sign,
And ready 10 " u lertake
Repairs in anv line.'
one day housumaid, as he sat
At the receipt Of biz, go
Came CRYING: Ho, Sir Smith, Sir Smith,
Sir Jones's pipes is fTiz!
He girt his apron round his l0ins,
His tools took from the she'll,
And to the journeyman he said,
IN see to- this myself :.
" Would ." he said. as he drew the bill,
My father were alivei
10 10 of solder at lcc.,
Il -
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21
TUE PLUMBER'S: REVENGE
BY G. T. L.

CANTo THE DEATH BED oA1H.
1t was some thirty years ago,
An evening calm and red,
When a gold-haired stripping stood beside
His fathers dying bed.
" Attend, my son." the sick man said,
" Unto my dying tones,
And swear eternal vengeance to
The accursed race of Jones.
For why? Just nineteen years ago
A girl sat by my side,
With cheek OF rose and breast of snow,
Ny peerless, promised bride.
A viper by the name of Jones
Came in between us twain;
With hOneyed words he stole away
My love, Belinda Jane.
For he was rich and was poor,
And poets all are stupid
Who feign the god of love is not
Cupidity, but Cupid.
Perchance tits well, for had wed
That maid OF dark-brown curls,
You had not been, or been, instead
OF boys, pair OF girls.
Now, listen to me, Walter Smith
HE TO yon plumber bold,
And thou would ST ease my dying pang,
His prentice be enrolled.
For Jones has houses many on
The fashionable squares,
And thou, perchance, may'st be called in
To see to the repairs.
Think OF thy fathers ravished love,
Recall thy fathers ills,
Remember this, the death-bed oath,
And then make Jones's pills"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21
The Virtue of Asparagus.

A medical correspondent of an Eng
lish journal says that the advantage of
asparagus are not sufficiently appreciated.
Those who suffer from rheumatism are
cured in few days by feeding of this
delicious esculent; and more chronic
cases are much relieved, especially if the
patient avoids all acids, whether in food
or beverage. The Jerusalem artichoke
has similar effect in relieving rheuma-
tism. 1t may be well to remark that
most plants which grow naturally near
the seacoast contain more or less iodine,
and in all rheumatic complaints iodine
has long been favorite remedy. One
who has been in the drug business told
the writer some years ago that many oi
the popular patent nostrulns which some
disinterested people" for the good o. :,
their fellow creatures sold: n
lars a het...iie, consisted simply Nv
cents worth of ioline in :, IFqon'
-IediSa ;s donro-nnss bn~Puey--Nxfer-
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21
AT CHURCH.

Just look at her now-little humbug'- =
- devout. Isuppose she don't know
That she's bending her head TOO far over,
And the ends OF her switches all show.
What sight Mrs. Ward is, this morning.
That woman viii XII me, some day,
With her horrible lilacs and crimsonsi
Why will these Old things dress so gayv
And there's Jenny Wells with Fred.Tfacy-
She's engaged to him now-horrid thing
DER me Ia keep on my glove sometimes,
II did have 4 solitaire ring
How can this girl next 20 me act 80
The way that she turns round and starcsi
And then makes remarks about people
She'd better be saying her prayers.
Oh, dear shat dreadful long sermon!
lie must love 10 hear himself talk
And ii's after twelve now-how PROVOKING
wanted 10 haVea nice walk.
Through at last Wei, Il isn't 80 dreadful
After all, for we won't dine till one.
How can people say church Is pOky
30 wicked | think it's real fun.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

The PAPAL TIARA.-Of the modern
crowns of continental Europe, perhaps
the most remarkable is the well-knewn
triple crown or papal tiara, or perhaps we
should say tiaras, for there are four of
them. The tiara is seldom worn by the
Pope; it is carried before him in process
sion, but, except on rare occasions. he
wears 4 mitre like Bishop. OF the ex-
listing tiaras, the most beautiful is that
which was given by Napoleon to Plus
VII in 1905. 1t is said to be worth up
ward of $4,000. It's three circlets are
almost incrusted with sapphires, ,emeralds,
rubies, pearls, and diamonds; and the
great emerald at its apex, said to be the
most beautiful in the world, is alone
valued at 16, 900 francs.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21
Anew jersey Civ Sells Herself.

s.alsmon A somewhat has recently
Senn ~ creatinr q lite sensation in and
obout % SomeySiue. He is we'll advanced
in wears. being upward of seventy, him.
soIf a widowef and a cripple, with one
,s,arr;ed daxghter-an only child. He
,mnved inso Hillsborough township over
q wear zgo and bought considerable
real estate, giving one farm to bis daugh-
ter. His said to have been quite lavish
with ht money-to such an extent that
his fabily became alarmed, and an effort
was m,de by his daughter and son-in-law
to hr;e him declared insane and placed
undet guardianship, but this effort
proved failure.
Among his other eccentricities was his
eGdent fondness for the society of young
Adies. On the 5th of July he became
acquainted with a young lady from the
West, who, with her mother, was tempo
rarily staying in Somerville, and who is
not yet out Of her teens, to whom he
made proposals Of marriage. The girl
took one hour to consider the matter,
and then accepted, although, it is said,
against the wishes Of her mother, and on
Monday of this week the parties were
united in marriage, the ceremony taking
place in Plainfeld, the mother in the
meantime having become reconciled.
Fifteen thousand dollars was the mar
rage portion of the bride, which sum
was at once placed at her disposal-iSom-
vsd Messenger.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21
Women You Meet i'm the Cars.

There is the woman that nearly drives
you mad by never being discomposed IN
either manner or dress. Her hair is as
smooth as though it had been ironed her
face is as clean as though cinders and
dust was an unknown quantity; her
boots and gloves are new; they fit so per-
fectly that you are quite sure her hands
and feet were poured into them. She is
not without wisdom in being bien chaussee
and Jien gantee. When people have moth
ing to do or think about, they are re-
duced to extremities. But when this
immaculately-attired woman emerges
from her section, after sleepless nights
journey, rs calmly unrumpled rs on her
first appearance, endurance ceases to be
a virtue. She is a reproach to earth and
man. People have no business to go
through life without coming in contact
with it. The immaculately-attired wO-
man has no wrinkles She never will
have. She sheds feelings precisely as
she sheds dust. They slide off her. |
don't approve of her at all, but do
wish my boots and gloves looked like
hers. Then there is the frowsly woman.
The longer she travels the more
scratched up" her general appearapS,
is. Her children, between the ag1S OF
three and seven, browse upon very
thing in general, making night hdeous
by crying, and day hideous bIPermeat-
ing the atmosphere with Teir uneasy
selves. Her husband wears{aper collars,
puts his boots on in pgIc, Raa 5SaSs Fa1a
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

IN the annual banquet given by the
Lord Mayor of London to Her Majesty's
Ministers, Disraeli, responding to the
toast to the government, declared the
country was prosperous and the people
content. Abiding to foreign affairs he
said peace prevailed, and in his opinion
it would continue to prevail. If the
foreign relations OF Great Britain were
scrutinized he believed it would be found
that they had been conducted with pru-
dence and frmness. The colonial en-
pire would be developed and consolidated
Its interests and sympathies ought to be
assimilated with those of the mother
country, and ultimately the colonies
prove source not of weakness but OF
strength and splendOr. Reviewing the
work of the present session of Parlia-
ment, he adverted at some length to the
incident of the shipping bill. He stated
that in proposing Il new measure the
government had been assisted, not
coerced, by public opinion. In conclu-
sion, he repeated the opinion which he
once before declared here, that the peo-
pie of Great Britain were better off than
the nobility of other countries. The
speech was received with enthusiastic
cheers. Other members of the Cabinet
spoke in similar strains.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21
c,xro In.-rmr rRArron's doom.

CASrO Iu.-THE TRAIrOR's DOOM.
The Jones had horses many on
The avenues az 4 squares,
And hired they Jung avcnger smith,
To see to the repairs.
And smith put faucets in, and cocks,
And meters exc, aud taps,
Connections, T-Joiuts, sewcr-pipeS,
Ba>iss, and water-traps;
lie tore the walls and ripped the nOors
To reach the pipes beyond.
Aud excavations in the street
And meath the sidewalk yawned;
And daily as he entered mp
The items in his book,
The plumbers face wore serene
And retrospective look.
And Jones would wiring his hands anu cry
Woe. woe, and utter woe!
All me, that taxes should he so hlgh
And rents should be So low
Then he would give the Smith the house
As iustHliment on account
OF its repairs, and notes OF hand
For the rest of the amount.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

The court of inquiry appointed to in
veStigate the loss of the steamer Nicks-
burg, of the Dominion Line, and report
to the Board of Trade of London, decides
that the catastrophe could have been
avoided il, when the ice was reported at
night on both bows, the master had hove
to until daylight according to the COM
pany's instruction, and that, had the
boats been lowered earlier, every life
would probably have been saved.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21
c,xro 1v.-AyENaEp At LAST.

Now. Smith had been for "A dozen years,
In the practical plumbing line.
And the bills OF smith did not grind slow
And they ground extremely hne.
Terrace by terrace, hOHSe 10y house,
The lands of Jones he took,
And heavier still the balance was
Writ in that fatal book.
At last no property nor cash
Had he, so he did fail,
And the ayenging plUmberlockcd
Him up in Ludlow Jail.
Ills hcartlcss creditor hebesought
For mercy in his need;
- Nay. nay. no mercy; lie and rot,
Quoth he, 4" in Jail like Tweed.
For have sworn avenged to bc
ON thee, thy kin aud .kith;
Remembered thou Belinda Janet
am the son of Smith
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21
MINOR TOPICS.

Two prisoners who escaped in May last
from the Raymond Street Jail, New York
City, Catharine Martin and Mary Morris
have been arrested by detectives Cor
win and Folk in Montreal, but were dis
charged by a local magistrate because of
there being no extradition treaty con-
ccrning cases of larceny between this
country and Canada.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

PRoFEssos WARD, Of Syract
. yersity, New York, has Q specim
American crocodile. The rep.
shot In FIorida, and measures !
feet in length. The existence 81
reptile in the United States haf
fore been disputed.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

The Toronto Globe contained fifteen
columns of special reports about the
crops from different places in Ontario,
Quebec, New Brunswick, Prince Ed
wards Island and Nova Scotia. The
following is a summary: Fall wheat, al
though below the average, will be a
larger crop than was at one time eX-
pected. Spring wheat is about the aver
age. Oats, barley and peas are heavier
than for many years in proportion to the
area covered. Indian corn isgreatly i'm
proved, and will turn out better than eX-
pected. The potato crop is large and
root crops generally very heavy. Hay
is an average crop. Small fruits are
abundant; apples are less plentiful. In
other fruits there will probably be de-
ficiency.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

The Paris Figaro asserts that there are
many American women in that city
living freely in the mud and mire of the
demi.monde, and acting as spies for Ger
many. They are said TO extract ipforma-
ton from the. official French gentry,
who are drawn into the circle OF their
destinations.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

MIR. Nivian," said
leaning forward, che d,
everything. Let him NJ
Mr.. Vivian, be sew
Penelope, eying him clos
Godfather Vivian aros
calmly and with mill
spoke clearly and distinC
"Judge not, lest tina
also"
The step-aunts excl
He continued. He spoke
long. He made an app.
hearts before him, and
his touch. He asked
ofense he should crush f
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

A CALIFORNIA braz band has four
women in it, and they somehow don't
get out Of breath 50 soon as the other
members.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

The Texas Legislature at its last session
passed license law for all trades or oc-
cupations, and makes it a penal ofense
for any one to pursue any occupation,
calling, or profession without having first
obtained license. The object of the
law Is partly for the public protection
and partly to raise revenue. Rather
hard, however, for q man to have to pay
q license in order that he may work at
his trade. Texas will have to learn
another lesson in political economy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

THEREhas been turned out ola foundry
in South Boston what is probably the
heaviest breach-loading rifle gun ever
constructed. 1t required 156, 900 pounds
of metal, and weighs s., ,2S0 pounds. 1t
was cast Feb. 6, 1874, and special ma
chinery for it had to be procured from
England. The gun is of twelve inch
bore, and it is estimated that the first
charge will consist of an elongated conf
cal point sbot weighing six hundred
pounds, with from sixty to seventy
pounds of powder.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

The Hellespont is little over mile
wide. but Leander made himself great
hero in ancient times by swimming over
it, Lord Byron gained fame by repeat
ing his feat Edgar Allen Poe swan
five miles down the James River, and
against the tide. But in the recen:
match at Chester the winner johnson
swan over ten miles, and then danced a
liz to show he was not tired. Coupling
this with Captain Boyton's feat of swim
ming, with the aid of a special apparatus,
across the English channel, some twenty
five mile wide, it can not be said that
the moderns show less skill, strength and
endurance than the ancients in this form
of athletic exercise.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

The round sum allotted by the British
government for defraying the cost of the
trip of the Prince of Wales to India is
cl42,OO0, or considerable more than
500, 900. OF this sum 100000 or $780,
600 will be devoted to the personal ex-
penses of the Prince. The British tax
payer who contemplates these figures
may be excused if he does not find him
self in a cheerful frame of mind. But
if he wants royalty with all It's gewgaws
and frippery and foolishness, it is only
fair that he should pay the bills without
grumbling. If the Prince must travel,
he must go in princely style, and not as
the humble citizen who earns the money
with which to settle the princely bills.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-21

Ia wonderful
der, " but one
His principal
Haster's mail
He appears
'eliyery, and
9litely waited
I'd or one of
aimmediately
tbusiness-like
one is really
stops to read
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08
News and Other Items.

The White House gilt to Mrs Sheridan was
"seed pearl set, pin and earrings"
Hydrophobia is reported as epidemic in Den
mark and Finland. Not only dogs but horses
and other animals are the victims.
A New York woman knocked down a census
taker Thursday for asking her age. She was
fined SO and costs.
Flipper, the only colored cadet at West
Point stands forty sixth in a class of seventy
seven.
Miss Mary Telfair, who died at Savannah,
Georgia, last week, left property valued at q
million dollars, most of which was bequeathed
to charitable educational institutions.
Mark Twain is accused of removing the cush-
ion ia his church pew at Hartford and putting
it into seat he has purchased on the base ball
grounds.
The mania for suicides is becoming so gener-
al in the Prussian army that proposition has
been made to investigate the cause, and devise
means to remedy it.
A field of lava 5000 miles square has been
discovered in Southern Utah, by the biologists
of the Wheeler expedition: and one of 10000
square miles in Arizona and New Mexico.
John Morrisey is now figuring as champion
of the reduction of the salaries of heads of de-
partments as one of the most available means
of economy in the New York oity government.
The design for the new postal card has been
agreed upon and is now being engraved at the
printing bureau of the Treasury Depar tment,
1t is very plain, land will differ from the card
now in Sc in that the border will be left off
and the card made of better material.
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08

IT looks as though the metric system of
weights will come into general knowledge
and use through the postal department. By
a recent act of Congress the department is
ordered to use the gram as the unit of weight
in all foreign correspondence, and is permit
ted to do so in domestic postage. 1t is said
to be literally availing itself of this permis-
sion, and to be introducing the new system
into the principal cities. As the legal equiv
aent of the half-ounce, fifteen grams is a
trlhe the heaviest, the change will commend
itself to all who have occasion to send much
mail matter. Thus people will become IA
miIiar with the metric weight, and the favor
which greets its adoption i'll the postal de-
partment will pave the way for its use gener-
ally
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08

THE expedition which has just left England
for the Arctic regions is the most thoroughly
equipped one that ever set sail on voyage
of northern discovery. The two steamers
are admirably fitted to battle with ice, and
are fully provisioned are manned by men
who have repeatedly navigated the northern
seas, and have commanders Of great scientific
and nautical attanments. Every provision
has been made to guard against known dan
gers. The expedition will follow the coast of
Greenland to beyoud the S0th parallel, where
the larger ship, the Alert, will be left as
depot aud a rallyiug point in case Of need.
The Discovery will proceed as far north as
she can 60. The remainder of the journey
will be performed on sledges. A relief ship
will start for Greenland next year. The
Alert will be but $50 miles from the Pole.
Considering what success has attended far
less promising expeditions, from the time of
the Enterprise to that of the Polaris, great
and not unreasonable hopes of the discovery
of the Pole are entertained.
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08
TERMS $500 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE.

CONNECTICUT thinks to establish, under
the direction Of the Board Of Agriculture, a
farmers experiment station for the improve
ment of agriculture by the union of science
with practice. The station is to be provided
with chemical laboratory, and is to embrace
a greenhouse, gardens, stable and farm, where
soils, seeds, fertilizers and food materials can
be examined, and where investigations can
be carried on concerning dairying, fruit cul-
ture, forestry and other special industries,
causes and remedies ofdiseases of crops and
animals, and generally all subjects pertain
ing to the agricultural interests Of the
state
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08

ing the color ofhorses, land infer from the great
abundance and constant increase of bays
that that must be the best color,-arguing
from the principle of natural selection. 1t has
been found impossible of late to divide caval-
ry troops according to the color of the horses,
owing to the great predominance OF bays.
Blacks are said to be prone to i'll temper and
not to be especially healthful. Grey horses
are also poor. Ii is mentioned that but one
grey ever won the Derby. Chestnut, the col
or of the famous Eclipse, ranks next to bay.
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08
ENTERTAINMENTS.
Centennial Tea Party.

a COMMITTEE of Ladies will be at R0ssini
IA, Hall from 3 to o'clock every afternoon this
week Tor the sale of seats at the Washington Table of
the centennial Tea Party. Orders will also be taken
for Costumes and list of suits for both Ladies and
Gentlemen will be shown for selection
JyIdlw Per order of Committee,
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08

In Minnesota tho laws of supply and de-
mand are paradoxical. Two weeks ago grass
hoppers were worth twenty cents a quart,
and that price was readily paid for them by
town authorities. Now they have fallen to
twelve cents quart, though the supply is
much smaller, and there is great difficulty in
picking more than seven bushels from an
acre in the course of day
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08
THE PRESS.
MORNING, JUNE 8, 1875

EVERY regular attaehe of the PRESS is furnished
with a Card certificate countersigned by Stanley i.
Pullen, Editor. All railway, steamboat and hotel
managers viii confer a favor upon us by demanding
credentials of every person claiming to represent our
Journal as we have information that several 'bum-
mers" are seeking courtesies in the name of the
PRESS, and we have no disposition to be- even pas
sively, party to such frauds.
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08
TIE PORTLAND DAILY PRESS

TERMS: Eight Dollars Year in advance. tt
vance
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08

JUDGE Taft who failed to receive the nom
ination for Governor of Ohio, made a strong
speech before the convention, promising
hearty support to General Hayes, and plant
Ing himself upon this platform which cor
rectly formulates the aims and aspirations of
the Republican party: 'Universal liberty and
universal suffrage, secured and made safe by
universal educat ion."
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08
Our New York Letter.

The Presidents Lefter.-UncOndifiOna
Surrender no longer.-He yields 10 his
friends NOT his enemies.-Thc absurdity
hole discussiOn.-The flame
famed, not snbdued by noticing if.-The
Ingersoll cOnfessiOn.-The crimes of the
Ring-their extent and audacity.-GouId
in 1875 contrnsied with Tweed in 1871
DemornIizing influence of their exam
pie. Another crash needed.
The Portland daily press., 1875-06-08

We do not read anonymous letters and communi-
cations The name and address of the writer in
all cases Indispensable not necessarily tor publication
but as guaranty of good faith.
We cannot undertake to return or reserve commu-
nicatons that are not used.