Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1875-07-16
Brasser's Son Claudius.

Mr.. Brasser, who lives on Ninth avenue,
has a son about twelve years old, named
Claudius, and the other evening this boy
received permission to allow neighbours
boy to stay all night with him. The old
people sleep down stairs in the sitting room,
aud the boys were put into room directly
above. When they went up to bed Claudius
had the cothes.line under his coat, and the
neighbours boy had a mask in his pocket.
They didn't kneel down and say their pray
ers like good boys and then jump into bed
and tell bear stories, but as soon as the door
was locked the Brasser boy remarked:
you'll see more fun around here to-
night than would lie on ten-acre lot"
From closet they brought out cast-oH
suit of Brasser's clothes, stuffed them with
whatever camo handy, tied the mask and an
old straw hat on for head, and while one
boy was carefully raising the window, the
other was tying the clothes.line around the
"man." The image was lowered down in
front Of the sittlng.room window, lifted up
aud down once or twice, and old Brasser
was heard to leap out of 6ed with a great
jar. lie was just beginning to doze when he
heard sounds under his window. and bis wife
suggested that it was COW in the yard
He got up. pulled the curtain away, aud as
he beheld a man standing there he shouted ;
Great bottle but it's robber !" and he
jumped into bed.
Theodorius Brasser, are you a fool "
screamed the wife, as he mOnopolized all the
bed-clothes to cover up his head.
BE quiet, you old jade, you !" he whis-
pered perhaps he'll go away"
Don't you call me a jade |" she replied,
reaching over and trying to find his hair.
Git up and git the gun and blow his head
of !"
"Oh you do it !"
"Git up, you old coward" she snapped
"l'll never live with you another day if you
don't do it,"
Brasser turned up the lamp, sat up in bed
and cried out
a" Is that you, boys ?"
Mercy on me gitup!" yelled the wife
as the straw man was knocked against the
window.
an blow his head off as clean as milk,
said Brasser in loud voice, as he got up
lie struck the stove three or four times, up
set chair and reached behind the foot o
the bed and drew out an old rusty musket
" Now then, for blood" he continued, al
he advanced to the window and lifted th,
curtain.
The man was there, face close to the glass
and he had such malignant expression o
countenance, that Brasser jumped back viii
cry of alarm.
" Kill him shoot him down, you oil,
| n, Al 81 A..
81 will; by thunder, will !" reptile,
Brasser, and he blazed away, and tore on
nearly all the lower sash.
The boys up stairs uttered a yell and
groan, aud Brasser jumped for the window
to see if the man was down. He wasnt
lie stood right there, and he made leap u
Brasser.
, "Iles coming in perlice boys no per
lice % roared the old man.
The tattered curtain permitted Mrs. Bras
ser to catch sight Of a man jumping up an
: down, aud she yelled
"Theodorius, I'm going to faint %
: "Faint and be darned boys perlce
J he replied, wolloping the sheet-iron stow
with the poker.
"Don't you dare to talk that way to me
| shreked the old woman, recovering from he
I desire to faint.
l "Po-leece po-leece !" now came from tn
boys up stairs, and, while one continued I
| shout, the other drew the man up, tore biz
q limb from limb, and secreted the pieces.
Several neighbors were aroused, an office
!, came up from the station, and a search
r the premises was made, Not so much as
r track IN the snow was found, and the ofic,
Q put on an injured look and said TO Mr. Brasse
9 "a guilty conscience needs no accuser."
a "That's SOL" chorused the indignaI
/, neighbors, as they departed.
Q As Mr.. Brasser hung quilt before Il
r shattered window, he remarked TO his wife
k "Now see what an old cundurange yc
Q made Of yourself"
"Don't fling any insults at me, or l.
d choke the attenuated life cut of you 2"
l. she replied.
l. And the boys kicked around on the. be-
d chucked each other in the ribs, and cried
+ "I'd rather be boy than be president