Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-05-08
A MODEL SOHO0LMASTER.

-Four or tive years ago a man about
forty years of age, looking as though he
had been drawn over dusty floor for
an hour or two, called upon one of the
members of the Board of Education
and introduced himself as William Har-
rison Cannon, of Saginaw county. He
was politely received, and commenced
business by saying:
"Tm a-looking for situation as a
school teacher"
"Ah, hal" replied the member, Won
dering why the man wasn't looking for
q wood pile.
81 could have brought pile of rec
ommends so high" continued the man
measuring, with his hands, "but rec
ommends don't amount to nothing"
"And have you any school in view p
asked the member.
81 want to get in here, in Detroit, u
replied the man. What wages do you
pay?'
I'm afraid" began the member
when the schoolmaster interrupted.
"Oh! well, / 'spose you pay going
wages, an that's all l can ask for. 1
don't want to put on style and live
high, as I'm getting a leetle old and
ought to save money"
AS I was going to remark--,' re-
piled the member, when the school
master suddenly inquired:
"Do they allow licking in the schools
here? If they do, I'm the man you
want to dress the boys down! I've had
'em come for me by the dozen, and it
would do your heart good to see the
way laid 'em! Why, when 1 had that
school in Bay county I thought nothing
of licking thirty scholars per day, be-
sides hearing twelve classes recite! I'm
an old screamer, tell you, and there's
fun in me when you get me woke upr'
ct hardly think" commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up and said;
"Of course you won't take me unless
pass examination, but hain't afraid
of not passing. I'd like to see q word
1 couldn't spell! Now for instance: Ca
tarrh, c-a-t-a-r-r-h catarrh. Dandelion,
d-a-n-d -e-l-i-o-n, dandelion, or try me
on words of four syllables, Lugubrious
l-u-g-u-b-r-i-o-u-s, lugubrious. Oh! 1
can knock the socks right ofPn these
swell head teachers and not half tryp'
"I should like to help you, but"
"Oh, you needn't think I'm behind
in geography" interrupted the teacher,
What is on isthmus? An isthmus is
a narrow strip of land connecting two
larger bodies. Is the word round or
fiat? Round. Why is it round? Be-
cause it is. Which is the largest river
in the worlds The Amazon. Which
is the highest mountain? The Andes.
might go on for seventy-five days this
way, and then not tell you half I know!"
" You seem to be pretty we'll posted
in geography, but as I wanted to tell
you---"
"And on grammar toop' exclaimed
the teacher, Jumping up again. "What
is noun? A noun is the name of any
person, place or thing. Give us an ex-
amplep Man, dog, cat, coon, goat,
jack-knife, fish-hook, gate-post. What
are the principle conjunctions? And,
as, both, because, for, if, that, or, not,
neither, either, and SO forth. Oh, I'm
right on the roof of the Westinghouse
when you sling grammar at me!'
The member was getting desperate,
and as soon as he could get in word
he said:
"I will take your name, and as soon
as vacancy-- =
"And I know arithmetic from cover
to covert" exclaimed the man standing
up again. :" I can go through the Ia
bles like lightning through hay-stack,
and when you get to fractions and cube
root TIM awful, / weigh q ton and half
| and still growing = 'Rithmetic's my fa-
vofito study. and I'll give you fifty dol
lars to find q man who'll saw sums in
two and plane 'em as quickly as ! canr'
His speech took the wind out of him
| and the member managed to say there
was no vacancy at present, buthe would
take his name and consider his case as
soon as one occurred:
"Td like to commence right Off. re-
Piled the man, g but then T'm willing to
wait. Here's my name, and the mint