The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-12-04

have peace.
A western editor gets in ahead Of G, W. Childs
thusy:
His foot upon the trigger,
The muZzle in his ear,
A movement Of the little toe
And his head did disappear.
Gone where the grasshopper lingcrcth not
"Now don't go around with those dsreputa-
BILE fellows and stay out late, dear feel ABOVE
such low business" said she as he left home ar,
ter tea "rll keep away from the crowd heap"
he muttercd as he went off; "who cares 4 they
are a tough scig | wonder if that woman takes
me for q domestic Charles Francis AdamsF-|
Dan6ury feirs.
Mr.. Rainwater was a witness for the defense in
the st. Louis whisky cases They got damp poor
satisfaction out of him.-Ch Times.
One of the latest innovations of fashion in
New York, evolved from the stringency Of the
times, is the attachment to wedding invitation
cards of the significant hint, (No Presents) An
other innovation is to dispense with wedding
tours. If this keeps on fashionable people will
soon begin to regard home as fit place to live
at.
The Chicago Tribune writes slashing leader
against the communists of that city aud threat
ems to ornament the city ampposts with their
Sheridan lives there.
The Louisville Courar-Jotrnal remarks gran
dioquenty, In the hottest moments of his fu-
tuie, when the flames are roaring hercest and
the demons are bowling loudcst; when the devil
himself is throwing in the turpentiHc and tar,
the citizen Of Louisville will console himself
with the soothing, cooling remembrance that
when the trumpet Of the resurrection sounds
the aycnging angels won't pick him up in any
cemetery in Chicago" To which the Chcrgo
Times responds that, in view of the high price Of
real estate in Chicago and the size Of the average
Louisville mans feet, such internal rejoicing is
entirely supcrfuous.
The President is reported as saying that The
whisky ring need expect no clemcncy from the
White House-and he might have added nor The
whisky cithcr-Ncc HogG register.
six months ago, as a young lady was riding on
a Detroit street car, she handed her nicklc to
young man with red necktio. Their fingers
touched-eycs Observation-Disclosures and last
evening they were married Fire Press.
It is needless to say there is no truth in the
above It is a wicked dodge of the blarstcd
street car monopoly to fiji their ears with young
lady passengers on the look out for red necktcs
The following stanza from poem in one OF
the November magazines Is supposed to be
delicate tribute to Francis +. Spinner, late treas
urer OF the United states:
He wrote and wrote, but could not make a name;
Then cursed his fate and called the word to
blame
The world, that knew not genius when it came
What warning to the devotees Of the tweed"
is afforded by the recent death of Salathiel Nc
NJ Un hal kp1 and
chewed for 81 years, and died finally at the age
Of lO1 with chew of tobacco in his mouth But
for the pernicious habit, he might be living yet!
The newspapers which nominate Morrisscy for
president should put up Scbenck for vice presi-
dent This would harmonizc faro and poker
pls and thus consolidate two large and i'm.
pO - interests.
The following, intended to commemorate the
fate Of a tract peddler who sat down on can of
nitro glyccrine to rest himself, was submitted to
the poet Childs, and pronounced contrabond:
To the azure depths OF the upper air,
His body had fewn, fcwn, hcwn,
And over the landscape everywhere
A bit OF him here, and bit Of him there
IL now lies strcwn, strewn strewn;
But his soul, believe, and am willing to swear,
Is gfandy climbing The golden stair,
To an anti glycerinc tune,
Gone where they don't put 1t up in cans.
The Brooklyn revival choir. jus. before sankey
left for Philadelphia, presented HIN with watch
as a gentle hint doubtless to keep better time in
future But how can a man whose thoughts
are so intent on eternity be expected to pay at
tention TO tlmey
Prof r. 4. Proctor, the astronomer, has re
cevcd adyices from home Of the discovery OF
Al. a in fact
twins The professor is now the father Of clever
children.-Ch. Courier.
And yet while crswdng the world at this rate
he maintains that this is the only habitabl
planet.
An exchange says: Delaney, New lor
man who is to be executed next month"; refuse
torecognize his father or mother" II is sircu
lar how stuck up and airy people become some
times.
"Thus friend after friend departs" sighed III
President, as he read the news that Joyce an
Mcdonald had been sent to the pcnitentiary.
Washington statistiean estimates that il
400 gears America viii be without fuel. Tha
need alarm few people in Washington. BY tina
time mos, Of them win be in region wher
fuel viii be entirely superluous.
An enthusiastic universaiist at Dixon recent
made his church present Of high grade bull
valued at siOO. The Society disposed OF him b.
a rattle, selling the tickets at dollar each, All,
had a bully time. While Pope's bulls, Ir'sl
bulls and Johnny Bulls are common enough, tn
Dixon SUI sententously remarks, 81 this Is th
first Universalist ball on record"
wild goose few into Oregon, and its cro
being opened revealed new kind of grain
From the seed forty bushels have been raised
and the Oregon farmers are setting on the fence
with their elbows on their knees wonderin.
what they shall call the new kind OF whisk,
they will make from 1t.
When Chinese bans falls an The officers hay,
their heads cut of and lung into corner will
The assefs and II has been 800 years since ther,