American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-09-04
MULTUM in PARVO.

| hiHu vi pcdCC.
THE James brothers sigh for more banl
cashiers to conquer.
The mosquitoes haven't put in very
profitable season thus far.
THE picnic season and spiders and bug.
will soon join the invisible host.
IT depends upon the sun whether OF
not coming events cast their shadows be
fore.
Who wrote on those $4,000, 900 postal
cards which were used during the month
of July?
NEVER go near balloon, young friend
Like the innocent-looking revolver, it's
liable to go Off at any moment.
IT is accounted a mean thing for Con
| necticut father to tell his son that the
Robinson Crusoe" book isn't true.
TREASURER NEW makes each one OF
the clerks in his department put in full
time or pay the difference. This is new
thing.
A FLOATING debt is any other than a
funded debt; and funded debt is one rep.
resented by bonds running for term of
years.
A BLIND English mendicant wears this
inscription round his neck: Don't be
ashamed to give only half-penny. ]
can't see."
"YoU dough nut attend to your duty,
and you fritter the time away!" was what
the impatient man said to the slow waiter
at the restaurant.
A ROCHESTER On. H. man gives vent to
his views upon the evils of profanity in
an article paid for as an advertisement
| four weeks in the local newspaper.
| ONE Of the New York churches is about
to inaugurate a new idea-that of having
sermons preached from the pulpit Sun
day evenings by men who are not clergy
men.
HOWEVER other cities of the world may
| act, it is to the praise of the great metrop-
| oils of London that travellers always find
her Sundays kept profoundly solemn,
quiet and respectful
JUDY advises those contemplating mat
| rimony to keep on contemplating it and
they won't get hurt. Were bigamists as
common in England as here Judy wouldn It
have said such thing.
TRAMP, tramp, tramp, go the army of
| Migrants and thieves over New England
and the people cry in vain for relief. The
fault is not so much with the laws as with
| the tender-hearted people themselves.
AS THE ladies walked on the beach
| with their hair down, because otherwise
''it takes so long to dry" it was the en-
FAINT terrible who said triumphantly
A PARTINGToNIAN juryman in Vermont
recently informed his fellOw-jurors, with
great gravity, that "no external magne-
tism being visual he would vote in the de-
fensive." No attempt was made to change
his decision.
A TENNESSEE girl didn't sue her lover
for breach of promise when he deserted,
but mounting mule and shouldering a
shotgun she cantered along on his trail
and gave him his choice between shooting
and marrying.
THE funeral cortege moved slowly down
the street, and as she left the house of
mourning she observed to her companion:
6 Lizzie, if any of our folks should die l
don't think I'd wear Grape rOsettes on my
bonnet, would yous'
covered in Humboldt County, Neb., a COM
pany has been formed, and they get from
93 to SO per cent pure sulphur. A town
has been laid out at the works and chris
tened by the poetic name of g Inferno"
HAPPY bridegroom: "More money,
madam more money! have you forgotten
that my money has bought everything you
possess-the very dress you stand in ~
Fair bride: No, sir; nor have forgotten
that your money has bought what stands
in it!''
so she locked it and from an upper window
bombarded him who stood and knocked
with the kettle, two brOoms, oneeighth
cord kindlings, and mop-handle. He
WINGED not; then she knew by his style of
lodging that it was her husband.
PRoF. RILEY, State Entomologist of Mis-
souri,, who discovered the fact that cooked
grasshoppers taste like nuts, walls the de-
parture of those winged delicacies. They're
nutty, but they're nice. However, even
though his diet of grasshoppers is gone,
there's nothing in life (nor in death either,
for that matter) to prevent his taking to
Diet of Worms.
BUFFALO has ghost on the Hamburg
turnpike. 1t walks in the middle of the
road like an ordinary man until people
get near and then looks at them with an
unearthly face and vanishes in an instant.
A well known citizen was murdered in
that vicinity few years ago and they
think perhaps it is his "sperit' looking
for the assassin.
YESTERDAY morning after a Twelfth
street man had entered a street-car and
dropped his nickle in the box boy came
running after the car and called out:
" Jones-oh! Jones, your wife has got an
other fit" Jones stepped to the door,
looked around with perplexed air and
I've paid my fare and 1 don't propose to
let this corporation get ahead of me. DE
trOit Free Press.
A LATELY-APPOINTED Postmaster of a
Western Massachusetts town came down
to Boston the other day to equality" and
have his bond for 5000 approved. The
bond was all right, and the regular ques-
ton was put to the p. NJ: "How much
are you worth, sir?'' oval" he replied,
81 don't tell haow much I'm worth.
Bradstreet sets me at $4,000. I guess
you'd better put it down at that figger."
How much do the assessors set you at!'
"Wal, the assessors don't set me at quite
so high a fgger; but Tin confidential
whisper), tween you n me, I'm one of the
assessors. ''-BostO1 Trdreller.
A YOUNG mechanic recently got married
to the girl of his choice, and the happy
pair went to housekeeping. After the
honeymoon was over the young wife dis
covered that her hubby's temper was none
of the sweetest, and that attempts at mOlli-
flying him by sweet smiles and kisses were
generally flat failures while his dander was
up; So like a sensible young woman, she
resolved on another plan of action, and
soon had an opportunity to try it. Hubby
was rather captious about his steak, ! ut
she made no excuse. Its Tough" said
hubby, and it's pot cooked half enough!"
The young wife smiled, but made no de-
Tense. Then hubby got fearfully mad he
with the remark: Course that steak"
His wife raised up her plate, too, and
dashed it on the stove, with the remark:
hat Irry, 1,xrS Of rn1 at In 1atn