The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1875-11-13
WIT AND WISDOM.

snore, and hear the mighty ocean roar I"
Amella-"I can't sit down, you silly goose
because ID burst my pin-back loose"
Ohicer-Didn't you guarantee. sir. that
the horse wouldn't shy before the FIRE Of
an enemy Horse dealer-No more he
Won {, 'tlsn't till after the fire that he shies
circus tiger is roaming around Brazil,
Indiana, and men who never STAYED home
an evening since they can remember, are
now to be found ia the bosom Of their
families every night.
"Vot's dat you says, Shonny 2" inquired
MIR Schmidt, ms he was correcting his IF
spring with a strap. 81 says noalnQs,
tader. Yah, but / knows vot you dinks;
/ you dinks dam"
/ young lady, possessing more vanity
thai personal charms, remarked i'm lest
ing tone, but with earnest glance, ''that
she travelled on her good looks" A re.
lected lover being present remarked, fthat
he could now account for the young lady's
never having been found far from home "
A London paper says that a Sarnia man
bet ten dollars that he could ride the fly
wheel Of a saw mill, and as his widow paid
kind husband, but he did not know much
about fly wheels
Jeremiah Best recently married JeInima
Wuss, whereupon il is commented, per
haps, In prospect Of matrimonial broils:
The old tale you may infer,
They both went in with a vim
Though in the end be "Wussted" her
She got the Pest u him
A ocrnt~~ al.t.- ..x-. L.
following: Dear sir have looked care
fully over your paper for six months for
the death Of some individual | was ac-
quainted with, but as yet not single soul
| care anything about has dropped OF
you will please to have my nane erased"
What's all this talk about the currency
and fvetWinties and the siven- thirtles
that hears about, Mike III ''Why. bliss
your sowl, don't ye know, Pat 1t means
that the Government wants To make the |
laborin min 10 work from hve-twenty in |
the mornin' till sivin-thirty in the aven-
ing" Och; the spalpeens May the divil |
C oke thin -
During clerical conference the follow
ing conversation was heard between two |
newsboys: II say jim, what's the mean
ing Of 80 many ministers here altogether n
"Why," answered jim, scornfully, "they
always meet once year to swap sermons.
Brigham Young says that a woman who
can't make dress out of eleven yards Of
cloth will find Heavens gate too narrow
for her to enter. However, Detroit women
will use from eighteen to twenty-eight
yards, and run the risk of squeezing
through the gate or finding a ladder to go
over the walls.
A traveller, being at a coffee house with
some gentlemen, was largely drawing on
the credulity Of the company. Where
did you say all these wonders happened,
sir :" asked a gentleman present. II really
can't exactly say, replied the traveller
but it was somewhere in Europe-Russia,
think" 81 should rather think Italy"
returned his opponent.
1t is related that a New Hampshire
minister recently portrayed the history of
Jonah after the following style 81 seem
to see Jonah passing along the road to
Nineveh / seem to see him enter the
ticket Office, buy his ticket, and pay for it;
seem to see him walk upon the vessel
seem to see him lift their anchor, and |
the stately ship moves grandly out upon
the broad Atlantic.
The head of a New York mercantile /
house was Dragging rather largely of the |
amount Of business done by his firm.
"You may judge of its extent, said he,
"when | tell you that the quills of our cor
respondence cost two thousand dollars a |
year" ''Pooh !" said the clerk to another |
who was standing near by. ''What Is |
that to our correspondence, when | save |
four thousand dollars in ink from simply |
omtting to dot the is T.
One gentleman observed to another. 81
have a wife and six children in New York
and | never saw one Of them. ''Were
you ever blind 7" so no" replied the
other. A further lapse Of time and then
the interrogation resumed the subject
"Did understand you to say that you had
a wife and six children living in New York,
and that you had never seen one Of theml"
Eyes, such is the fact" Here followed
still longer pause in the conversation, wheE
the interrogation, fairly puzzled, said
"How can it be that you never saw enc OF
them r. "Why," was the answer, zone Of
them was born after | left"
Old Winston was a negro preacher in
Virginia. and his ideas Of theology and
human nature were often very original A
gentleman thus accosted the old gentleman
one Sunday: winston, i understand you
believe every woman has seven devils.
How can you prove it T. ''Well, sab, did
YOU never read in de Bible how seven
debbles were cast outer Mary Magalin r.
| ''Oh, yes, I've read that" did you
ebber hear Of EN- bein' cast out Of any
odder woman, sab T. ''No, never did.
"Well, den, all de odders got 'em yet"
The other evening when a Vicksburg
mother had company and her six-year-old
son made himself disagreeably conspicu-
Gus, she gave him threatening look and
silently warned him to leave the room. In
stead of obeving, he walked up TO one of
the ladies and inquired: Misses, can't
you stay here all night T. ''Why, what
do you mean r. she asked in tone e sur
prise. ''lf you II stay, mother won't dare
to lick me if You don't, she'll make me
hop" It was affecting TO see the mother
lift him to her knee, kiss him repeatedly,
and blandly inform the ladies 1t was only
his funny way.
Though sometimes little better than the
deferring Of disappointment, hope is never
theless compensation for many Of life's
painful realities. Its fruition terminal es
its enjoyment but why should we com
plain that expectation renders us more
happy than possession, since the former il
long enduring pleasure, and the latter
only brief regret. The prssentiment O
coming gladness is the summit Of teirestia
felicity. 10 Use the language Of Lore
, Bacon, sit is a good breakfast, but an idl