Smyrna times., 1875-12-29
The Man Who Was Not Elected,

The candidate who didn't get enough
votes to elect him the other day is out OF
the street now, wearing the look of an in
Jured man. As he turns a corner he meet
Jones, and Jones says:
"Ah! Well, I'm sorry for you: I'd hay,
bet money that you would 20 in bv 80,
majority"
My majority would have been twice
that if some bastard hadn't started the RI
NOR that | was opposed to education,'' re
/ plies Unsuccessful.
They lied about you, ch?"
Lied! Why, they told the most outra
geous falsehoods the human mind could
conceive! I've got clew, and YOU look
out for three or four suits for damages -
Turning the next corner he meets Davis.
and Davis yells out:
Hello! see you aren't dead vet
Well Tam sorry for you: wanted to see
you 60 in
"And | should have been elected straight
as string if my name on the ticket hadn't
been spelled wrong. That, and that alone
hoored me-
Ono block more and Smith rushes at him
and shouts:
" Hang it! but thought you would have
waXcd that fellow by three thousand votes -
I'D have done it like shot" replied
unsuccessful, "but the inspectors received
hundreds of Illegal voters and | was laid
out. This thing isn't through with. how
ever; propose to carry it to the supreme
court"
As he reaches the city hall the fourth
man holds out his hand and says:
" Wall, you couldn't be electcd but you
dId just run like quarter horse"
" ! can tell you something" whispers
Unsuccessful.
" Eli. WHAT
81 believe the ballot boxes were stuffed
against me-
Nor
Stlue as you I've! think can put
my hand on man who will swear 10 if.
and | tell YOU III make it rcd-hot for these
inspectors!' =
And the unsuccessful candidate is GER
tain in his own mind that lie is great
martyr
DECEIVED BY 4 GIHI.-The Boston Post
has the following account Of a successful de,
certion lately rracticrd in that city: "Some-
time last August l,rcposscssing young lady
called upon Mother Louisa (the Lady
superior OF the homc) and represented to
her that She wished to JOIN the order Of
deaconcsScs Ito which the Lady Superior
belongs but that her father, who was a
wealthy man, residing in New York, was
very much opposed to her joining. She
also said that lawyer was negotiating with
her and him, and she expected that lie
would settle am annuity of $4,000 wear
upon her. She also promised that if She
was successful! i'll obtaining the amount She
would settle five thousand dollars a year
upon the home and as a gurantec Of good
faith She deposited with her mother two
checks--one for $500, and the other for
5000, to keep for her in trust. Shortly
after She entered the house, she signified
her desire to 80 to New York slopninr,
and invited the c:cdulou. sister to ac-
company her, which invitation wasacccptcd.
and the two women went in company.
Upon the arrival of Miss Townsend pur-
chased goods, the aggregate value of which
to $500. They then returned to
Boston, whore goods to the value of $500
were purchased, the sister of Charity going
security for the goods, she supposing the
two checks i'll her possession would secure |
her from loss; but, alas for human cxpecta.
lions, for as soon as Miss Townsend had cot
possession of the goods she suddenly disap.
oeared, giving no clue to her Whereabouts.
md upon examination, the checks were
ound to be worthless