The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1875-12-01

cigar. He placed the cigar on the
counter and began viewing it from
various points. "Vas ish der mad
der?" inquired the keeper. "Noth-
ing" said Bradish "only was think
ing that don't care SO much for a
smoke Just now as do for drink.
Will you take this cigar for drink ?"
he inquired, certainly" said Sitter,
as he passed out the decanter. Jake |
poisoned himself, turned on his heel,
and was walking away when the keep
er called out 81 say, Shake, you
tidn't bay me for dot trink p "Why,
yes did," he replied, 81 gave you the
cigar for it." Sitter was in doubt for
a moment, and as Ja.Se's hand was on
the latch, he yelled, "Yaw, but you
tidn't bay me for de cigar2" "Well,
you don't suppose I'm fool enough to
pay you for the cigar and let you keep
it, do your" And Jake went out and
slammed the door.
"You keep postal cards here, don't
you," asked a little woman of the
stamp clerk at the post.office yester-
day. 1--WE do, madam" "Pll take
one, if you will write on it for me-"
"All right-now go ahead" ats to
my husband, who is in Chicago" said
she. "Write like this: "'SIR-I am
most sick, baby is under the doctors
care, and James and the other chill.
dren have the measles. The rest of
us are usually we'll. All the women
are wearing back-combs, and don't
a. Afnr Wa oil cnn1
love, and our house almost got on fire
last night. JANE
Much has been written against the
use of tobacco, but the are very few
cases where it can be charged fairly
with abridging life. In consequence
of its power of relieving nervous ex-
citability, of rendering the mucus
membrane Of the air passages less sus'
ceptible to the influence of cold and
damp, and the cause, whatever it may
be, of influenza, it must, when used in
moderation, rather tend to promote
longevity. l have known very aged
persons who have been smokers fol
the greater part of century.-Dr
Gdrdner.
"Sir," asked an attorney yesterday
of witness who was testifying in {
case of assault and battery, "have yot
been in this court before ?" Eyes, sir 7
said the witness, 81 have been her
often" "Ah, been here often, hav
your" said the attorney in triumph
ant tone. "Now tell the court wha
for" "Well," replied the witnes
slowly, 81 have been here at least
dozen times to see you, to try and col
lect that tailor's bill you owe."
Flowers nearly always begin to fad
and droop after being kept for twent
hours in water; few may be revive
by substituting fresh, but all may /
restored by the use of hot water. FL
this purpose place the flowers in seal,
ing water, deep enough to cover aboI
one-third of the length of the stem
BY the time this is cold the howe
will have become erect and fresh. The
cut off the shrunken ends of the sten
and put them into cold water.
"Henry, why don't you keep su
ply of cloves in your pocket?" sa
an Albany young lady to her esco
at the Opera House recently; "y
wouldn't then have TO run out aft
every act; and l don't see why y
are so awful fond of cloves, anyhow
We don't know how many dai
papers Rev. DIR. Lorrimer takes, b
he stated in a recent lecture:
there is any one thing for which t
human race is pre-eminent, it is
profound and solid lying.
In Providence and Worcester |
price of milk has gone up two cents
quart for the winter, but our excellt
system of water works enables milkm
here to retail at the old rates.-N
qOich Bulletin
A stranger kissed La Crosse g
by mistake, and was then licked by
Two brothers for being mistaken.
then deliberately kissed her for bel
who she was, and was licked for bel
impudent.
1t is said that there are not so ma
whips sold now as there we ten ye
ago. And this is explained by
fact that more drivers use a fel
to encourage their horses than form
iy.
When stranger asked a DetI
girl, whom he met at a party, if
was married, she promptly repli
''Not quite, but I've sued three or
chaps for breach of promise"