The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-05-20
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
They are overrun with Mexican silver
out in Arizona, and the people want to ex-
change their coin for something more con-
yenient to handle.
-Softly now the tender-hearted wife
imRarts to her searching husband the in
telligence that she sent his linen clothes
to the Kansas sufferers last winter.
"A Nashville preacher hopes his con-
gregation will testify their approval by
clapping their hands-fnto their breech-
and hauling out contribu-
tons.
There is lady in California who
owns hens, and who gives the proceeds
of all the eggs laid on Sunday to the
cause of home missions. The Nashville
Advocate calls this "eggs-emplary."
-"What do you do for living?"
asked a farmer of burly beggar who
applied at his door for cold victuals and
old clothes. II don't do nothing much
but travel about" was the answer. "Are
you good at traveling?" asked the farmer.
eyes, " replied the beggar. "Then let's
see you travel" said the farmer.
"A resident of an interior town came
to Detroit the other day to secure a stock
of groceries, having decided to enter into
business. AS he had no money at all he
was confronted with the inquiry: What
are your assets?" He deliberated mo-
ment, scratched his head, and slowly re-
piled: Wall, l tend chuch purity reg
lar!" He hasn't started in the grocery
business yet.-Detroit Free Press.
AS they entered a dry-goods store
yesterday you would have said that love
dwelt in both hearts, and that dove of
peace roasted on every shingle on the
roof of their abiding-place. She saw
lovely dress, and she begged him to
buy, but he replied: II can't, darling,
not before next week." Cant you,
dear?" she smiled; swell, I will wait"
They had hardly passed out the door be-
fore he said: I'd like to see myself get
ting that dress!" And she answered:
"You couldn't buy one side of it, and if
you could you are too stingy and mean
to do it!''
How many poor women there have
been, and are, whose pathetic story is
told in these ten homely lines:
Here lies an old woman who always was tired,
For she lived in a house where help wasn't
hired.
Her last words on earth were, Dear friends,
| am going
Where sweeping amt done, nor churning,
nor sewing.
And everything there will be just to my
For where they don't cat there's no washing
I'll be where the loud anthems will always
| be ringing,
But, having no voice, I'll get rid of the sing
ing.
Don't mourn for me now, and don't mourn
| for me never,
For I'm going to donothing for ever and ever"
"A good old minister of one of our
New England Baptist churches was
agreeably surprised by the intelligence
from one of his flock that five individu-
ais had expressed a desire on the next
Sunday to have the baptismal lite per-
formed upon themselves. After its per-
Torrance, however, he was somewhat
chagrined that only one of the five
joined the society of which he was
pastor. A few Sundays after the same
worthy Elder waited on him with the in
teligence that ten more desired INNER
sion. "And how many of them will join
the society,"" queried the minister.
1.-TWO, regret to say, are all we can de-
pend on" was the Elders reply. Every
we'll, said the good old man, "you may
as we'll inform the other eight that this
church doesn't take in washing" -Boston
Commercial Bulletin.
"A restaurant-keeper here went, a day
or two since, into his cellar to bottle
several casks of wine he had received.
He left his head servant in charge of the
establishment. Three hours after he
went INTO the cellar gentleman called
to see him and the servant went down
stairs to summon him. The servant ran
back in great terror, and could only
gasp: " Be quick-the rats-my master"
All the persons present ran into the eel
lar to which the almost speeches. ser
want pointed and found black mass on
the floor; it was the restaurant-keeper,
with rats swarming so thickly on him as
to conceal him entirely. They were de-
vouring him. 1t was necessary to kick
them off, so engrossed were they with
their delicious meal. 1t was some time
before their victim could be restored to
consciousness, when he said he remem-
bered feeling faint soon after he entered
the cellar and this was all he knew. He
had swooned and the vermin had
swarmed on him. 1t is feared he will be
disfgured for life.-Paris Cor. Boston
Gazette.
The White Pine New Neacs of April
II relates this incident: Judge Davis
has Newfoundland dog that seems to
be endowed with extraordinary intelli-
gence and very fond of children. The
other morning, during the very severe
snow-storm, Judge Davis daughter and
the dog passed our office on their way
to the school house, 1t was all the little
girl could do to waddle through the
snow, but the dog would run little way
ahead and break trail, and then rush
back and take hold of her cloak and pull
her along. This he did until he got her
safely in the schsol-house. He then
took up position opposite the building,
where he could see the children coming
from all directions, and stayed there
watching until after the school-bell rang
and all the children we're in and then
quietly walked away. The dog knew
the children were in danger and had any
of them got down in the snow he would
have been the first to see them and
would have rendered what aid he could.
This is not the first time this winter that
we have seen this noble dog accompany
his young mistress to school. No harm
will come to her when he is with her"
"A Hartford expressman possesses a
remarkably intelligent dog. tits little
black-and-tan." Mr. Barnard-the own
i er-will hold up one finger and ask
the dog: "How many?" Answer by
the dog: "Bow." Then Barnard holds
up two, four or three fingers, as any by
stander may request, and the dog, with
out waiting to be asked, says, if there are
two, Bow VOW" or if there are four,
/" Bow WOW WOW wow!" 1t is evident
that, to certain extent, the dog can
count; and he is not to be fooled into
giving a wrong answer, whether the
number of fingers held up is increased in
regular numerical graduation or not; SO it