The Morning herald., 1875-09-25
Munors Of the Press.

A learned nawDpaper puh1iAher in Tennea
see calls hin place 81 businessa prinseyy.
President Grant said It Utica laA Wefl
speech making was not one Of biz gifts; kh'
he told rs. ~ . - -
Doc little would give man who Is mar
ried two votes. How many to . man VIII
has committed blgamyi - u
A correspondent sends - . snall piece o
Morton's bloody shirt. The material seem
altogether too thin for fall wear. =,
The fates are after Bismarck with aharl
stick: The man whois to mary. bis daugh
ter calls himself Mountaineering. ! er
Human nature Is not 20 bsd after ell. 4
Milwaukee editor has just had returned t
him book borrowed twenty seven yearl
ago.
"Around the world in eighty-eight days
is no !, niger a fiction merely. A letter from
New York has just accomplished the jour
ney.
AN. Y. Herald personal says: "Darling
black eyes-just returned. Meet me to-
night. long to see you. Blue eyes," Yum!
yum! FL y
A correspondent of an inquirinx turn of
mind asks: Why are the celebrated rifeteam
the most ungallant men of the dayl and an
swers his own query: Because they have a.
ways aimed to avoid misses. .,.-..
The Detroit Fres Prsss says when an old
veteran in Cairo was asked to split his vote,
he replied: "How could face the Judg-
ment Day with the angels KNOWN that I'd
gone back on the Democratic partyV
The Ohio Republicans are still confident
of victory, and the Democrats are not a bit
less so. The Cincinnati Enquirer saysthe
ballot boxes will have to be surmounted
with mansard roofs to hold all of the Allen
votes. "a 10 ..,i
An exchange says :, The Sandwich Island
ers believe that Beelsebub walks the earth
in the form of a woman. And now and then
you will find man in this county who
believes SO too, and that he has married the
woman. .a .s rt loo .ujT
Think about marriage as yon please, there
is no pleasanter sight than newly welded
couple walking home from church on the
first Sunday with the BRIDES mother in the
rear, thoughtfully adjusting the hustle and
back bows of the happy daughter. &
When Bismarck s daughter meets her hus-
band at the front door, and demands, with a
mitrailleuse in each eye, "You Wendlzuen-
larberge, why didn't you bring them hair
pins?' he will reach the top story before she
gets the name out of her mouth.
The good old Democratic paper the St..
Louis Republican, forgets itself long enough
to give out this note of genuine apprehension:
"lt is reported that Delaware peaches will
not make good brandy this year. Great
Caesar! must that party lose that State"
"a dollar is large price for watermelon
said purchaser to yender of this fruit, as
he was paying for one the other evening.
"You wouldn't think SO, mister" said the
dealer, eff you had set on the fence with
shot gun in your hand every night for three
weeks, watching the patch"
They call them the '.pull-backs" out of
the cars and stages, and the usual act of
adjusting the bunch of things on the hips
creates vast merriment among the gaping
crowds at the stations. Pity that the world
must have its ill-manered harbarians as well
as itc gentle and modest christians.
Hon. A. H. Stephens, it is said now weighs
ninety six pounds. They talk of running him
in Georgia as an independent candidate for
Governor. If he should continne to grow at
this fearful rate he will get up to witches
pounds it will
be necessary to ruin him for President or
''shoot him on the spot"