The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-02-27
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


And now comes Boston girl who wants the
new undergarment to be called prima' because
il IS the irst TO be put on. All right; and, more
over, the girl who dons IL will be Il prma don
ner.-Detroit Free Press
The other day, when Eli Perkins lcctured for
the benefit Of a western orphan asylum, the re
ceipts Of the asylum were eleven cents.-DetroH
Free Press
That's more than the lecture was worth, but
was bad for the orphan asylum.
India rubber sidewalks are coming into fash
ion out West. For small towns they are admira-
be--combining economy with durability The
first experiment was made in Dallville, Iowa.
where three hundred yards were put down on
one of the principal streets. All the boys in the
place ran over it, but there was no noise. A
leading merchant stopped in front of his house,
then jumped on his heels. The elastic forces
hidden in the rubber threw him over the gate to
the roof Of the piazza. But after a few trials he
was able to alight on the steps with the graceful
accuracy of a flying squirrel. The chief draw
back to the walk Is its odorous familiarity in hot
weather but it can be ncutralzed by a weekly
wash Of boraX and coal tar. Its principal advan-
tage is that 1t can be stretched. As the town
yoke Of cattle can lcngthen 1t three miles day.
The Chicago Post and Nal must think Che
whole world is sunk in ignorance, for it gravely
announces, in a headline, as news, There is u
large amount of crime in Chicago
The latest Danbury joke is on Danbury Sam
Clark, a commercial traveller from Name lee.
tured in Danbury one night in the character of
reformed drunkard, and then got roaring drunk
on the proceeds of the lecture.
Mrs. Partington, reading of the strike of the
wire.diawtrs, remarked: All, me, what new
tangled things won't they wear Dextw
This is the way the indianapolis NccS announ.
ces a cotemporary's misfortune
1T is reported that the Globe has received a
new accession to its editorial staff in the person
of the sheriff He is 70 be managing editor, it is
5aid'
\ letter passed through the Detroit post. Office
the other day, bearing the following superscrip.
tion: TO the Fat Kuss what edits the Pom.
tyac weekly Gazette, and send me dunnin letter
in a envelope he stole; Pontyac, Michigan.
The best defence Of lying that We ever read Is
the remark Of Charles Lamb, related by Leigh
Hunt, that : truth is precious, AID not to be
wasted on everybody
The Grand River Herald excused its late an.
D earance last week by remarking that seven.
pound baby is not born to us very often,
4 Nevada editor grayely announces that he
n ever can write fluidly until he's had glass or
two Of whskey.
Mr.. Spencer, Of Moodus, Conn, cast despair.
ing look upon his twenty first child the other
day. No wonder they call a repeating rifle a
Spencer.
Between the boy with boil and the boy with
lath rolls an impassable gulf.-EJ.
1t seems to us that all the little children who
u sed to say such bright things are dead.
\ Louisianian points to the following adyer
tisement in a New York paper to show what
kind o. clothing the white slaves of the north
q re wearing this winter:
MISSING FROM HIS MASTER. AARON II
WI Reid, Englishtown, Monmouth County, n
j., on December 9th, 1874 Michael Herman, aged
eleven; light gray eyes and sandy complexion;
had on linen suit OF clothes with n white stripe
through them, and a white straw hat with vel.
vet band. Information to be sent TO JAMES
HERMAN, = Montague Street, BROOKLYN.
9th or papers please copy.
A southern paper tells how family in Flori.
lost their little boy and advertised for him in
q daily paper. That very afternoon an alligator
crawled up out Of the swamp and died on the
front doorstep. In its stomach was found hand
full OF red hair, some bone buttons, q pair Of
boot-heels, glass alley, pair of check pants
and paper collar. The advertisement did it.
Nothing can oil the wheels OF time
Aud make it easy going.
Like little fuD-'tis like the wind
That blows the way you're rowing.
A man who had read the New York TyH,o for
twenty-six years, wrote a communication 10 that
paper, and the hearsless editor headed III Letter
from Donkey