The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1875-06-30
NIIE SUITEM HOUSE,
Il STRIVE g. SWEET, PROPRIETORS,


This hotel has been built and arranged
for the special comfort and convenience of
summer boarders. On arrival, each guest
will be asked how he likes the situation,
and if he says the hotel ought to have been
placed upon the knoll, or farther down
toward the village, the location of the
house will be Immediately changed. Cor
ner front rooms, up only one flight, for
every guest. Baths, gas, water-closet, hot
and cold water, laundry, telegraph, res
taurant, fire-alarm, bar room, daily paper,
coupe, sewing machine, grand piano, a
clergyman, and all other modern conven-
fences in every room. Meals every minute
If desired, and consequently no second
table. English, French, and German die
tionaries furnished to every guest TO make
up such bill of fare as he may desire,
without regard to the bill affair afterward
in office. Walters of every nationality and
color desired. Every waiter furnished with
libretto, button-hole bouquet, full-dress
SUITS ball tablets, and his hair parted in
the middle. Every guest will have the
best seat in the dining hall and the best
waiter in the house.
Any guest not getting his breakfast red
hot, or experiencing delay of sixteen
seconds after giving his order for dinner,
please mention the fact to the office, and
and the cook and the walters will be blown
from the mouth of cannon in front of the
hotel, at once. Children will be welcomed
with delight, and requested to bring hoop
sticks and hawkeys TO bang the carved rose
wood furniture especially provided tor that
purpose, and peg-tops to spin on the velvet
carpet and they will be allowed to bang
on the piano at all hours, yell in the halls,
slide down the bansters, fall down stairs,
carry away desert enough for small
family in their pockets at dinner, and
make themselves as disagrceable as the fon-
dest mother may desire.
Washing allowed in room, and ladies
| giving an order to ''put me on flat iron,"
will be put on one at any hour of the day
or night. A discreet waiter, who belongs
| of Pythias, and who was never known
even to tell the time of day, has been em-
ployed to carry milk punches and hot tod
| dies to ladies rooms in the evening.
Every lady will be considered the belle
of the house, and row-boys will answer
the belle promptly. Should any row-boy
fail to appear at a guests door with a
pitcher of ice water, more towels, gin
cocktail, and pen, ink and paper, before
| the guests hand has left the bell-knob, will
| be branded "Front" on the forehead and
imprisoned for life.
The Office clerk has been carefully
selected to please everybody, and can lead
in prayer, play draw poker, match worsted
at the village store, shake for drinks at
any hour, day or night, play billiards, a
| good Walter, and can dance the German,
make fourth at euchre, amuse children,
repeat the Beecher trial from memory, is
| good Judge of horses, as a railway and
steamboat reference is far superior to
| Appletons or any body else's guide, will
| flirt with any young lady, and not mind
being cut dead when ''pa comes down."
| don't mind being damned any more than a
| Connecticut river, can room forty people
in the best room in the house when the
| hotel is full, attend to the annunciator. and
answer questions in Greek, Hebrew, Choc-
| taw, Irish, or any other polite language at
the same moment without turning hair
Dogs allowed in any room in the house,
including the w(h)ine room. Gentlemen
can drink, smoke, swear, chew, gamble,
stare at new arrivals, and indulge in any
other innocent amusement common to wa
tering places, in any part of the hotel.
The landlord will always be happy to hear
that some other hotel is ''the best house in
the country" Special attention given to
parties who can give information as to
chow these things are done in Yewrup.
| The proprietor will take it as a personal
affront If any guest leaving should fail to
dispute his bill, tell him that he is a swind-
Ter, his house barn, his table wretched,
his wines vile, and that he, the guest, was
never so imposed upon in his life, will new
or stop there again, and means to warn his
| friends