Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-12-15
High 'iimc-A church clock.


High iimc-A church clock.
| ''lNit lnena arc generally sharp.
Apair OF tiglis--1wo dr,lnkards.
4 Moving fora new trial--Courtine a
second wif~
| B n. Allen has been discharged
from bankruptcy.
Now the female with thin shoes
makcth music on the sweet catarrh
i Niolins were invented in l477. and
introduced into England by Charlie;
1 H.
True affection grows stronger as il
grows older. The same may be said
of eggs.
And now the broken rail spiritedly
honnccs the rushing train from tho
II track.
The twenty-first Of December will
pc about as long day rs any Of EN-
| this year.
| A Clinton man, in the aqe. adver.
Uses bnckwheat flonr with the
scratches taken out.
The man who didn't think he knew
the only correct way to poke Il fire or
1 run aneWspaper is dead.
Chicago is no longer a good place
| to die in. The nndertakers have
struck. and are making ii expensive
for corpses.
a French writer describes 4 Young
lady as one who kisses her gentlemen
friends till she is six wears old. and
then leaves off until she is sixteen.
The salmon spawn put into the wa
tiers in the ncighborhood of DEBORAH,
last May, are now nice little fish four
and five inches long.
Cant do H." said old Blif 70 his
Young wife when she was urrino him
10 sign the pledge. u have lied SO
oiten that way that | wouldn't be-
lleve myself under OATH
The Pennsylvania Legislature OF
li!1 was very particular, and accord
lnglY Resolved. That hereafter no
member shall come into the chamber
bare-foofed, nor eat his bread and
cheese on the steps OF the Capitol
A bright little Girl having been de-
&ired 10 write sentence introducing
the word "carrion, presented the
following 10 her teacher: Pad chill
dren often carton III church when
| they ought to be quiet. ?
Mrs. lANermore saws Girls are not
particular enough about the men they
marry. Mrs. Stone, of Omaha, is so
particular about thelnan she married,
that she takes her sewing 10 his Office
and sits there all day ill he is ready
10 go home.
.Ai,er I'm Indiana baby had Nal-
lowed a button and been stomach
pumped ont. ii was observed that he
would sadly Turn from floor strcwn
with buttons, TO play with the nose
of a hot tea-kettlc. lie couldn't be
pumped but once.
Nh. Sunderlin, an old gentleman of
hnoSville. fell. the other day. while
carrying bucket of coal. and broke
his leg. When-oh! when--will men
learn not 10 interfere with woman's
sphere of work !? Let this be warm
ing 10 all married men.
A Boston restaurateur serves up
eorn-cobs fried in lard and sugar to
his customers, and they like EN-. By
and by American genius will roast
and serve up TO hungry men, old
hitching-posts and work benches. and
wen be as happy as the day is long
My son., said dying grocer 10
his probable successor to the business.
never put sand in the sugar. Cher
lsh 4 reputation for fair and honora-
bic dealings with your, ,fclIow-mcn.
and use terra Alba instead il is quite
rs heavy. and don't grit on the teeth Y
The season is now upon us when
She pulls all the clothes over To her
side OF the bed at 5 A. Al. sharp.
punches him vigorously in the small
of the back with her iey-cold left heel.
and sarcastically inquiries if he OK
poets her 10 fry liap-jacks without a
fire.
stumbling into his room he sat
down on The edge Of the bed and So
.llloqniscd thus: Feet wet. tight
boots. sore on one hand and boil
on the other, an no bootiack in
zhouse. Sings got to bc diff rent.
Ezcf got TO git married, else oct n
bootiack wishall | do. 2"
A PaWnce aboriginal presented his
big and stalwari form one cold day
at the house of a Well-to-do family in
Lincoln. Neb. The hostess pitiea the
savage. he being SO poorly clad. and
! SO said: Are you not cold this win
try day Z" He in turn inquired ii her
face was cold. She replied in the
negative. whcrenpon he said: "inein
/ is face all over.
A lady in Connecticut moi long
since visited brother, who resides
in a distant city, taking her little
daughter with her. Fatigned with
the long ride, the child was impatient
to retire in the early evening. "You
must wait till Your uncle prays.2 ~
didn't Know that uncle PRAYED: !
| thought he was Democrat !"
An Irishman was brought up be-
fore a justice OF the peace on charge
OF vagraney, and was thus question
ed
What trade are Won p
Sure nov yer honor, I'm a sail
orr
on a eeaiarinp man. ] question
whether You have been 10. sea in your
i life"
Sure, now! and does. your honor
think ! came over from Ireland IN a
Vaughn q
Recently a man Going West from
Rochester,, New York in aliohting
from The car, slipped on the platform
and broke a leo. Everybody aympa~
ihized with him, bal lac waved his
hand and replied:
it'sall right 4. My old woman was
laid up for two wears. ANA now I've
| got II chance 10 get even with her.
II she don't have 10 do some tall
busting around nights. then my name
isn't Jerdan.
4 That was a very suggestive reply
j! made by q faithful carcWorn wife 10
\ q gossip Of hers ina nciphboriv tcte-
a-tete: Visitor; II have ALWAYS heard
| that Your husband is q very amiable
man and never speaks cross 10 the
/ servants "Wcll -well--yes.r re-
plies the wife. '.ile ALWAYS wants
! somebody else TO do the seoltlino for
him and in giving his directions for
iii he sometimes uses very strong
/ words. - Boston TtdascgiBt.
| Deaf Mnte superintendent.
1 A story is told Of a certain Sunday
school which was recently visited by
learned divine. The quietness OF
the proceedings specially attracted his
attention. When the clock marked
the hour, the pupils fell into their
places without call or signal. The
superintendent placed upon the black
board the number of hymn, and
without other announcement, it was
Immediately sung. All the exercises
were conducted from the platform in
this silent way. The reverend gentle
man was puzzled and, after the school
was closed, he sought en- interview
with the superintendent. He com