davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1875-09-16
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


The most economical time to buy
cider is when it is not very clear, for
then it will settle for itself.
.AY, I'm willin', but I'd rather hae
her sister, - said an honest bridegroom
to the minister. He has since learned to
control his feelings.
One of Governor Hayes uncles died
recently and left him $3.50 600. We
propose to pin this paragraph against
the bedroom door ofsevery uncle we
possess-even if they have to steal the
money.
SAMUEL HACKENBERY, OF Alabama,
didn't come home at the usual hour the
other night, and when his wife found
him hanging to a limb the next day she
remarked: 81 told him to let them
hogs alone )"
The man who bushes when lady
acquaintance sees him coming cut of
saloon, is not entirely lost--he may be
found most any time afterwards going
into the back door .--Bruns,cicker.
BANGS wanted to move from the resi-
dence of his wife's mother, and occupy
rooms in one of his tenants houses.
ga pretty idea,,' exclaimed Mrs. b..
Indignantly, live with our tenants in
deed!" 81 don't care replied Bangs,
ssI'd rather live with eleven aunts than
one mother-in-law.
If men are the salt of the earth, wo-
men are the sugar. Salt is necessity,
sugar is luxury. Vicious men are the
saltpetre; hard, stern men, the rock
cO1f nsn for 1vy +hn 20 In
Old maids are the brown sugar; good
natured matrons, the loaf sugar; pretty
girls, the fine pulverized white sugar.
Pass the sugar, please BrunssOscker
A BEREAyED New York lady went to |,
her minister asking him to come. and
perform the funeral service of her fourth
husband, he having oficiated for the
three who had previously disappeared
from the public view. ssWhy, madam,
how is this ?'' asked the reverend gentle
man. ssAh, it's mighty bad ~ she re-
piled. ssThere was never poor woman
worn down with such lot Of dying men
as I've been.''
IT may be doubted whether Sartoris
is passionately fond of babies. The
other morning, while he was standing
on the piazza in the midst of group Of
his boon companions, Nellie came waltz
ing out with the national grandchild in
her arms, and, planting it playfuly
upon his shoulder, exclaimed: ssOh,
amt it a darling, Algy?' "WeN, IRE
turned Algy with the mortified air Of 9.
man who had been taken advantage Of,
swell, its mother is s.''-Brooklyn
Argus.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1875-09-16
Grammar and Clean Corners.

A female servant in the family Of
gentleman in the Department of the In
terror, Washington, is allowed to make
a yearly visit to her old home in Rich
mond, Virginia. Last summer, when
she left, a substitute was employed,
mulatto girl, who had been quite well
educated. She performed the duties in
rather Indifferent manner. When
the regular servant returned, she began
her tour of investigation to ascertain
how her work had been done, and was
disguised at the evident want Of neat
ness manifested everywhere. Her in
dignation finally found vent in the fol-
lowing, to her mistress: ssI'll tell you
what it is, Miss -, you can't get
grammar and clean corners out of the
same nigger!n Which, if tsne, offers
o knotty problem In reference to the ed
ucation Of the race .-Harper's Drqaver.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1875-09-16
The Hamilt0ns-An Unfortunate Fam.
lily.

'Knicerbocker writes to the Cincin-
natl Gazette from New York: This FAM
lily was shadowed by paternal greatness,
which is always injurious, and is some
times crushing. The children might,
under other conditions, have reached
enlinence, but the best that can be said
is that they maintained responsibility :.
Alexander Hamilton, who has just been
carried to thegrave at the age Of ninety,
was quiet and retired man, who mar
ried rich and had a fine place on the
Hudson. He had held position under
Government, and was member of the
bar of this city, but his chief labor was
to collect and edit his fathers produc-
tions. The senior Alexander Hamilton
married daughter of the patriotic Gen.
Schuyler, who survived him half CEN
tury. He is buried in Trinity Church
yard, in this city, by the side of his eld-
est son, Philip, who likewise fell in a
duel. This is the only instance on rec
ord where both father and son met this
fate. Philip was a talented youth of
twenty, and had just graduated at Col
umbia College. One evening in Octo-
Der, 1912, he and friend named Price
insulted young lawyer at the theater.
The latter was of opposite politics, and, !,
being of rural origin, was ridiculed on
this account. He returned the insult,
and added that he expected to hear
from them. They were compelled by
the laws of honor each to send him a
challenge, and he accepted both. Then
the rural lawyer, whose name was Eack-
er, showed his nerve. The next Sun
day both duels came off. Price had
precedence. Five shots were exchang-
ed, when the seconds interfered, and
honor was said to be vindicated. Then
came Hamilton's turn, and at the first
fire he fell mortally wounded. He was
borne home, and died the next day
Within two years his father was also
brought back mortally wounded by
Aaron Burr. What a trial for moth
er and wife! But Eliza Schuyler was
a woman of strong heart, and she en-
dured this bitter agony. Eacker was
then twenty-four, and was not as hard
ened as Burr, who was twice his age
His conscience accused him of Philip
Hamilton's death, and he broke down
in health and died in six months before
Burr and Hamilton met. His grave
stone is still to be seen in st. Paul's
Churchyard. Such were some of the
tragedies connected with the laws Of
honor, and recalled by the death OF the
second Alexander Hamilton.
lf s
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1875-09-16

A LITTLE boy in Springfield, after his
customary evening prayer, night or
two ago, continued, aAnd bless mann
ma, and Jenny. and Uncle Benny y ad-
ding, after a moments pause, the ex-
|planatory remark, his name is Hop
ins."
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1875-09-16

CoTNT ARNIM is not so i'll as general
ly reported. He has been improving
radidly, and has stamina yet to last out
Prince Bismarck.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1875-09-16
rHE EDITOR AND THE FLEND.
nv nxy. SAMUEL W. DUYFIEID.

:. ykce raadiag from German Of Ph. ron tSittesso1d
AIbertus Magnus-so there goes
n ancient story in Latin prose-
Gsntriysd man of leather and brass,
moving, breathing, nameless mass,
Vffk never heart in his brazen breast
Ina never brain in his head compressed,
ID enough of knowledge, enough Of skill,
n serge his magical masters will.
He never was weary, he never was weak,
4Sere was never blush on his brazen cheek
10 worked all day and he worked all night
Wifh 1 ceaseless, spell-bound sense of might !;
He never ate and he never slept,
"a never laughed and he never wept.
Like the Magic Hoi SO when you turned the
pin;
IKE Talus whom Spenser glories in;
! LIE DroWne's quaint image of speaking
o. sAe thrilling life which leaped aud stood
ID the midst of Pyemalion's solitude,
Go strangely came and SO strangely went
Tkis strength which Albertns Magnus lent,
Now Thomas Aquinas studied there
A studious youth with studiOus air;
Delighted to send the man of brass
70 feteh and carry, like any ass.
But glad enough In his secret breast
mt the Thing was free from babble and
chat,
And putting ones thoughts beyond control.
Alas! that Albertus Magnus then
Dqsn TO improve this best of meE-
IAis perfect and automatic whole
Bymsking his head not quite bowl.
Be made him tongue from the skin of eat,
eua.d and sottened with humming-bird fat; !;
And back IN his head he set box,
With intricate springs and curious locks,
which ran on changes Of every word
4hat men In their common duties heard,
And caused that hollowness to resound
With y0wels and c0nsonants flung around.
HfMAde his jaws as though they knew
1he meaning Of what was rushing through {:
Hi sJes would roll and his head would sway,
Hin tongue would chatter, his hands would
play
In the silliest sort OF human way;
And thus-as the sequel soon discloses-
BE made montebank out of Moses.
The Thing went hurrying out and in,
Busy as ever-but such din!
TWAS well Albertus had been compliant
With the sudden wish OF q princely client,
And, far away from his noisy servant,
Us now Of planets ard stars observant-
~ surely, surely he would have sent
n4nIanmAnE
4.
Wherefore, when Thomas Aouinas saw
This horrible change in the creafure,s law.
he stopped his ears. he rIared. he rrew
Ff1ntie. he tried to bolt his door.
He stamped and shouted and nraved and
swore.
BE begged and pleaded. hut ali the mora
The dreadful yisitant was not through!
III ur.s nesa oe aPpsa 70 e. hn n nis neaa
he tramncd along with steady tread
And he talked and talked. though what he
said
Would puzzle the living and yex the dead.
He came and went. and he went and came !.
He stood or he sat Or he walked-tae same
Nost hideous phantom. Changing never:
Al else might stop hs talked forsyert
Ioung Thomas fed to the turret-top,
~ .
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15
ESTABLISHED l84S.
DELINQUENT TAX LIST
For the Years OF 1873 and 1871.

NoncE is hereby given that on Monday the 4t
day of October A. d. 1875 at the front door of the
tween the hours of o'clock, A. M and o'clock r. NJ.
of said day. will offer for sale all Lands and Town
Lots in said County, which the County, State
School, Road. Teachers, Insane Hospital, School House
Contingent, Bridge, Corporation, Poor Farm, Special
Street Taxes and any and all Taxes which were levied
for the said years 1873 and 1874 and which at the time
of such sale remain delinquent.
The sale will be adjourned from time to time
to be open on the First Monday of each succeeding
month from day of sale and also between the same
hours of each day, until all such Lands and Lots have
been sod-rue and correct lists Of which the fol-
lowing w. II. IL. AsBURY,
September lst 1875. Treasurer Wapello Co., Iowa.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15

MISSISSIPPI votes this fall. 1t is a
Republican State if fair vote can be
had. The White Leaguers, in order
to intimidatc the blacks, have already
commenced mnrderous raid in the
counties of Kinds and Clinton. The
sheriff has called for a posse to sup
press the marauders, but has, so far,
been unable to obtain a posse of snf-
ficient force to arrest the murdcfers.
Bands of cut-throats are securing the
country and shooting down inotfcns-
i've and defenseless blacks. The col
ored people are fleeing to the large
towns for safety, and report dread
full carnival of blood as going on.
At the latest advices we have, one
hundred colorcd persons were re-
ported murdered. 1t is certain that
some twenty were killed at Jackson.
Governor Ames has petitioned the
President for aid. This is what we
have expected, and shall be most
agrceably surprised if we do not hear
of q great deal more of it before the
election in November. The parties
committing these outrages are invar-
iably of the Democratic party, and by
such means do they hope to over
throw the Republican party in some
of the Southern States.
Later news from Mississippi gives
reports that the massacre is extend-
ed to other counties, and Governor
Ames has called upon the General
Government to aid in suppressing the
insurrection. Northern Democracy
will now begin to howl about Federal
interference, but while their friends
ars slaughtering negroes, they have
no word of complaint.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15
A FULL, VOTE.

Republicans of Wapello county. YOU
will. as certain as election day comes,
gain a glorious victory if YOU poll
full vote. We have the numerical
strength that will give us victory. but
il is patent fact that we do not. as II
party, poll so nearly all our vote as
our opponents do. This comes from
the fact that Republicans. as rule.
do not have so much leisure as Dem
ocrats do, or rather. Republican, do
not take as much leisure. With De-
mocracy, election day is made. day
of frolic, and they turn ont with alac-
rity. The same old Democratic party
that held the rcigns of government in
the days of secession. and made ii
possible. are now laboring day and
night to place the government back
into their handsa@ain-into the hands
of the reunited Democraeyn north and
south. Republicans are asleep upon
the field of duty who do not attend
the elections. Nothing but absolute
necessity is any excuse for Republi-
cans failing to vote. We urge our
Republican friends in each township
OF this county To organize for action.
Each township should have town.
ship ticket and Il central committee.
and they should meet and arrange
plans, first, to ascertain just what their
vote is in the township. and then Sc
cure the casting of every single vote.
Record the name fevery single voter.
and see all those who are liable to fail
to come out. This is the only way 10
secure n full vote, and certainly there
are enough Republicans in each
township who feel deep enough in
trrest in the result in their own pre-
cinct, TO work. to devote a few hours
now and then to securing a good.
strong vote of the party. BE pleased
10 act on this hint at once.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15
H 1t M >:
SI.5O PEI YEAR IN A VANCE,
a., m nj the end OF Six NOnths.

La GRAND BYINGToN Of Iowa, and
Senator Upton, Of Nebraska, haye
gone into Ohio to stump the State in
the interest of greenbacks and De-
mocracy.- burlington GuSeHe.
LIE Grand Byington has been known
and read of all men in Iowa. to be as
much Of an extremist as the most ar
rant rebel that lives in the South.
Upton is the man whom Mast always
characterized in Harper's Weekly as
the clown among the Greeley Repnb-
lican Senator's. He is the man that
Nebraska has retired to private life
ON account of his utter worthlessness.
They are, indeed, fitting representa-
tiyes of Bill Allen Democracy, neith-
er of whom would be entrusted by
the people of Iowa with the respon-
sibility Of road supervisor.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15
TO COLOIsED MEN.

One of these days Democratic can-
didatcs and Democratic editors win
be cuddlin@ with the colored men for
their votes. Before any colored man
is deluded into voting with his am
cicnt and present enemies. we advise
him 10 read over and carefully con-
slider the purport of the following ar
iicle. 1t is from the New York Dam
| book. the most thorough paced and
| reliable democratic paper i'm America.
/ Ii is clipped from the Oftumwa Dem
ocrak of sept. 9th. and the introlucto-
~ and complimentary paragraph is
from the pen of our contemporary.
Captain Evans. editor of that paper.
and chairman of the Democratic
County Central Committee.
Those of our readers. either white
or black. who banker after the glori-
Gus human aurtion block. which Illus
trated more than anything else. the
government of Jeems Buchanan.
ought to go straightway to The polls
with Capt. Evans and the New York
Day Book people. and vote tile
straight .Ieems Buchanan ticket. We
can assure them that il enough OF
them vote that ticket, and if they
keep steadily at il for Il reasonable
length Of time. '.universal repudia-
ton and the repeal of the ..mongrel
amendments" will he speedily accom-
plished. and u good. able-bodied.
comeiy negro girl. as of yorc. will
again bring fifteen hundred dollars
in the shambIes. But here is the ar
ticle. comments aud all
THE following article. which we
clip from the New York Day Book.
bears the stamp of lis gifted editor: =
.What charlatanism and nonsense
are going on just now about resn,ap-
ton. and will 30 on, we suppose. uli-
Ill the mongrel bubble breaks. and
the mighty wreck cleared away. conn
mon sense will come 10 the front.
Resumption. forsooth-abolish the
army. save Il few regiments on the
Indian frontier; dismantle West
Point: cut down the navy To the paf-
tern Of our diminished commerce.
abolish the entire diplomatic system.
save the consular feature: abolish
from onc-ihird to one half of the Fed
eral offices: stop all appropriations
FOR custom house, post offices. &c. and
restoring sclf-eovernment at the
South. leave them to- utilize negro
labor as best they can. and these
things once done, resumption will re-
sumo itself Or in other words. the
grecnbaekS. with negro labor restor-
ed aud expenditures diminished. will
soon be al par with the gold dollar.
Otherwise, there i. only one possible
method to resume or to get back to a
specie standard, to-wit universal and
complete Reputation of the Aboli-
ton war debt. towards which the
country is rapidly drifting. and tho
il is unlikely that Reputation party
per sc will ever make its appearance
in our party politics, that final end is
as inevitable as death and unescapa-
bic as the grave. II will carry down
with il the entire mongrel .amena-
mcnts. or so-called reconstruction.
and this horror removed. there will
emerge into the open light OF day.
the glorious Republic of Washington
| and Buchanan. Ikea new heaven and
| earth TO Il lost world.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15
Kansas weather and CrOps.

ArcmsoS. Sept. The weather
continues very warm. Fine rains havo
fallen every three or four days for sew
cral weeks past. All the first plant
ing of corn in this region is now fully
matnred, and is coming TO market, and
the crop is enormous, and exceeds.
both in quality and quantity, any crop
before raised In this State In the
border counties ravaged by grasshop-
pcrs this spring, the corn planted late
in Juno will fully mature in about two
weeks, aud this planting will also give
an enormous yield. fthe frusts hold
of Tor two weeks the crop OF late
planted corn will equal the first plant.
ing in every respect. ksnsss il ra
joicing over the largest and finest crop
Of all kinds ever produced III The
State.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15
OK tle Sih of This month the Re-

On the Sih of This month the Re-
publicans OF New York held their
State Convention at Saratoga. and the
Democracy held State conventions in
Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. The
convention nj Saratoga was a grand
affair. and eminently successful in the
ticket put forward and the abundant
enthusiasm which prevailed. The
Democracy of Pennsylvania had
trouble over the financial question.
and in Wisconsin the straight De-
mocracy and the mongrels did not
t'raternize with the best of feeling.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15

Tho elevators In the now Palace
Hotel, San Francisco. have their MP
perm0st landing on the roof, whore 1
hne place is prepared for the guests to
promenade and enjoy the extensive
view Of the city, suburbs and harbos.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15
THE LOSSES AND STEALS.

Now how has this immense fund
been managed? Go to the official re
cord ard you will find the results. In
the collection of internal revenue, since
tho commencement of Gen. Grants
term, we have lost one. fit fteenth of
one per cent, or less than ~ in $4,000.
In customs collections we have lost
the one-hundredth part Of one per
cent. or $5 in every 100000. BY our
national banking system depositors
have lost an equivalent of $5.40to cv-
cry $500,00 and Of course no less to
bill holders. From June, 1861. TO Jan.
1872. the books Of the U. S. Treasury
show tho immense sum of sos, 3,Oo0,0O0,-
600, and of this there was lost to the
government about $4,000. or one dol
lar in one million of money trsnsac-
.ions! The public debt reached its
highest point In 1866, being in round
numbers S2.773.0OO,OO0. This debt has
been reduced near half billion, and
taxation, (internaD something near
;hrce hundred million, and ask. she l.
the breath Of slandcr, the lies Of par.
tIsans, the struggles Of men in their
desperate efforts to attain power, de-
stroy this record, blot this all ont, ant.
Ia this government 10 be administered
by those who have resisted al! this
legislation and denounced all these
policies? Shall country saved by
loyal blood be controlled in its policies
by those who encouraged. II they did
not seek its destruction To this there
can be but one answer by the patriot.
ic, grateful and honest people OF tho
land.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15
ATTAIN Under ianil.

Ne = - - ~ 4e40o eA~o1s
The belated U. r. train that
arrived in Council Bluffs about
half past II, Sunday morning.
met with. q hail storm near
Potter's Station, some 200
miles west Of Omaha, ON
Saturday evening. The hail
fell with such violent force as
to compel the train to stop.
The hail was OF immense size,
being on an average 3 inches
in diameter. Within five
minutes from tho time the
first stone struck tho train
there was not . whole glass
on the south side Of tho train,
tho entire length OF It. The
windows in the Pullman cars
were Of French plate glass,
three-eights Of an inch in
thickness, and double. The
dome ot the engine looked
as though it had been pound
ed with a heavy weight,and
the wood work ON tho south
side Of the cars was plowed
up as ii some ono had struck
It all over with siding blows
from q hammer. Several OF
tho ladies tainted, and Mira
Earle, the wife of the noun
tain division enporintend mt
of the road, went into spasme.
Several persons were more Tor
less injured. The lombard :
m ent lastcdabont 20 Sninutea
and was OF unexampled fury.
Davenport Gazette.
"A certain learned man,
being congratulated on his tai
ent tor small talk, said :"it has
cost mo more effort andssstndy y
10 achieve small talk than 10
conquer the higher mathema.
ties, butt felt the desperate
want of II, and went at 1t IA a
study
Storm Lake IL excited
over an abduction case.
Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-15
THE HONESTY OF rErrnI1cAN1sM.

| LIE ot kEil liil4ltaNlSM.
But once more: These men charge
that the revenues are squsndered, and
that dishonesty prcsides in all the de.
partments. What are tho facts? The
most fatal doctrine ever preached in
this nation was the Calhoun doctrine
of State rights. This was the doctrine
fought for by the Southern Confedcr-
acy, and disguise it as you may, the
| main. if not the only remaining cardi.
nal dogma maintained by the Demo
cratic party at this time. Aside from
the life, the blood, the tears, the DESC
lated homes, the bereft households,
this doctriue cost the nation SIX and
one-half billion dollars, to say nothing
OF the interest and pension charges,
and other extraordinary expenses fol-
lowing, and to rest as burden upon
the property of the people for years
TO come. All this immense expendi-
ture had to be provided for and met
by the Republican party. In the part
performance of this task, and it was
no small one, my friends--nothing
comparable to it is to be found in the
whole history of the nation-we de-
vised our internal revenues and cur
rency systems. This work alone en,i-
ties the party to the lasting gratitude
of the whole country. Taxes had TO
be high ifthe nation was saved. When
the war closed the necessity still con-
tinued, and yet so wise was the policy
adopted, looking to the equality of the
burden, and the safety and excellence
of the currency, that there was no
check to the prosperity and advance
ment of the country. Our expendi-
lures exceeded by billions our receipts
during the war period, but at the close
of tho war, and each year since then,
taxes have been lower, until now, we
collect, as internal revenue, but little
If any more than one-third what we
did in 1866, and this imposed, as we
know, upon very few articles.