, 1875-01-03
HUk0R.

A resident OF Bridgeport, Conn., is tho ovne
Of 6-sear-old cheese. He Says There's mill
! ions in It,"
Fanny" vrites to ask why it is that al th
young men who hare donned *'new" overooat
| this winter smell 90 Of benziue.
Exact citizen remarks TINT, despite the colo
| Of fho stuff in tho streets, you may know tha
it's snow because IFS sleigh-bel1ed.
4 Colorado bar-keopcr, who shot man dea,
over the counter. pleads in extenueston that ~
order for drif1as was counter-man-dead.
It must make man feel mean to pay An oil
debt because he thinks he is going to die, ant
then have the doctor pull him through al
right
The Gardner {alc) Journal says tllerc is ,
store in that place in which skull is kept on the
counter. marked, "This man Was drummer
Bewars!"
There is nothing half SO sad in life as the spec.
tacle Of al auctioueer attempting to sell 515OD{
worth Of goods to All audience whose aggregate
aud tangible assets foot up 80 cents.
':Why. Georgic, are you smoking 2" exclaimed
an amazed mother, who came upon her little son
as he was sputfing away ut cigac ''N-no, ma
I'm only keeping it lighted tor another boy"
When boy is sitting on the sunny side Of =
horse~harn, waiting for his father to come home
and "lclz" him, you might talk astronomy to
him for four straight hours and not excite his
interest,"
Ii going the pararr.phic rounds that n year
old baby has been forwarded By express in New
Hampshire, "hloh IL not remarkable az the baby
hadn't learned to talk, aud, Of COURSE couldn't
e1press itself.
pbrs;rs Now f.ac~co haf,r. xo,1 so aud
r,a, Hn1, .r. n,,;t. 800 ~, i-,o. III 81
prof Ror.~ aara ro1 iaaHs" aS t.o A0esoa @~n
xtt -tIf
out igLt?" "Pickied peppers"
c,;rer !, far n;cat,aa -p;a;,. +,,sa,,,,;.+
fraaoa A ,orro,v ths+ :, a'..a, ..HsSSs
Sn,,ao.r Tbat's -.ti,ar thar s+1,nna ~ -.
+ M;ssp ahonla sn1 nas,ncs r. 4... o.
~ -u.so I...s;x,t 81 ,,1.1.e 80 n'anee. IL NAN
Ths nrofoas;or ~ dsntis+rr 10 o.1,ad oaont,
Logical because in the practice of it lie pstrons
~ suoa a. liz s ss eE;t 70 ~ p0ie cpia 1 oa
~ inao he m " .9 uu -; aon Ln3s
70 nIoer;caI san,,enca @o -4e> %A'o A'9' ~ ~
- oAosAe se4u'Doo'
quan5 Dln gen.fan, f ra n r. sneakSlns aS ot tne
aansa 7'a.fni .;oss y. ~ t ~ wsn at1 sGe pe-
eoaa a1s1a .ssu1 - anu gsneta MoIsuaess Fs
slant11' @ rh1a 10 hacenaas aon etn1 .eaiaeu, 90
h, one s1an u 1ep,s h neeoes uselul ooofstep'
"n'1o "Oo'oo' oss'O4eo d 's1's 'ono71one'
A Sacramento lawyer remarked to the Court:
at ia my candid opinion, Judge, that you are an
olo 1oo1. ~ 11e Suus9 alioweu hs mHoly1 1peam-
hs ese ~ 49, 1an uRun a .ns ts"ser uraet cmen1'
snen: u socs nosAa WI supp1esseo emoslon,
sma s,onr HS "5 e@oe1o opfoion tn.s you Afe nneo
*1o''
Crosse xamining a witness, New York attor-
ney asked, "Were you not, on the night on which
you Say you wero robbed, in such \ state Of
vinous excitement I'd to preclude the possibility
OF OF your comprenenslon ol your htoaton WITH
tas t:a Suo p4ee'aoA neos"s@s5 " oenae&
lt'A =. = 4lu
An Irish footman. having carried basket Of
game from his master to friend, waiting con-
siderable time for his customary fee, but finding
no present appear, scratched his head and said
- Sir, it master should say, Paddy, what did
tue gentleman give you what would your hon.
Or hare me- tell him z"
tNov bova snnnosa twatv. man dfr;.. a.
bushels Of corn equally, how many ia that for
Zach 7" Boldest boy Please, SIR, we've not
zone that far" =" Your teacher told mo you had
earned all the first four rules" Boy -" Yes,
'ir ; but we have always done our sums In pota-
'oes or turnips. We never had any corn."
..Oh ma " raid afiss Mcstinpar ,nabinc Il, n
,er ma" ma. What twelye.dozeu % creature a. onr NJ