The Tipton advertiser., 1875-07-29
ALL ABOUT ICE CREAM.
An 1nQuisitlye and Unpleasant
Customer,

He slipped into an ice cream saloo,
very softly, and when the girl asl>e,
him what he wanted, he replied:
Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickle,
and mlnce pie"
This is not restaurant, this is Al
ice cream parlor," she said.
"Thcn why did you ask me what
wanted for? Why didn't YOU bring
on your ice cream"
"iou see, my dear girl, you mus,
infer--you must reason. 1t isn't like
ly that | would go into an ice cream
parlor to buy a grindstone, is it? You
didn't think | came in here to ask il
you had any baled hay, did you?"
She looked at him il great surprise
and he went on:
eff | owned hardware store and
you came in, | would infer that you
came for something in my line. |
wouldn't step out and ask if you wan.
ted to buy mule, would I?n
She went away highly indignant.
An old lady was devouring a dish
Of cream at the next table, and the
stranger,after watching her moment
called out very suddenly:
MY dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dish?"
"Mercy. mol" she exclaimed,as she
wheeled quickly around and dropped
her spoon.
swell, I'm glad OF it. If you find
any let me know"
She looked at him for half a minute,
picked up the spoon. laid it down
again, and left the room. She must
have said something to the proprietor,
for he came running in and exclaimed:
"Did you tell that woman that
there were hairs and buttons in my
ice cream"
"No, sir"
"You didn't?"
mo, sir, l did not. | merely re-
quested her, in case she found any
such ingredients, to inform me-"
"Well, SIR, that was a mean trick"
"My dear sir" the stranger, smil-
ing softly, "did you expect me to ask
the woman if she had found crow
bar or sledge hammer in her cream?
1t is impossible, sir, for such large ar
ticles to be hidden in such very small
Dishes
The proprietor went away, growl-
ing, and as the stranger quietly sup
ped away at his cream, two young
ladies' came in, sat down near him,
and ordered some cream and cakes
He waited until they had eaten a lit
tie and then remarked:
BEG pardon, ladies, but do you
observe anything peculiar about the
taste of this cream?"
They tasted, smacked their lips, but
were not certain.
'Does it taste to you as if plug
Of tobacco had fallen into the freezer?"
he blAndly asked.
"Ah, kah they exclaimed, drop
ping their spoons and trying to spit
out what they had eaten. Both rush
ed out, and it wasn't long before the
rushed in.
"See, here, what in blazes are you
talking about?' he dem .nled.-
'What do you mean 10y plug tobacco
in the freezer?"
MY kind friend, | asked the ladies'
4 this cream tasted III plug tobacco.
don't taste any such taste. and !
ion't believe You used u bit of tobac-
20 in it."
"Well, you don, want to talk that
way around here" continued the pro-
Drietor, ''my ice cream is pure, and
the man who says it isn't tells bold
ie."
He went away again and a woman
With long neck and sad face sat
lown and said to the girl that she
would take small dish of lemon ice
II was brought and she had taken
lbout two mouthfuls, when the stran-
ger again inquired:
"Excuse me, madam, but do you
Know how this cream was made
ave you any idea that they CRATE
urnip and chalk with the cream
She didn't reply. She slowly rose
,p, wheeled around and made for the
loor. The stranger followed after,
md by great and good luck his coat
aiIs cleared the door too soon by an
instant to be struck by FIVE pound
'ox of figs, hurled with great force
~ the indignant proprietor. AS he
cached the curb stone he halted, look
ID at the door Of the parlor and soli
oqnized:
'sThere are times when people
hould infer,anl there are times when
hey shouldn't. ] suppose if | had
lsked that woman if she thought they
lashed up saw-mill in the cream
he'd have felt circular saw going
lown her throa.. .-Teroa Free Press.
Concern for his Children.