Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-08-07
KING A PARAGRAB.

head was q wise man; and it collateral
proof of the matter be needed, here we
have it-Mr. b. was an editor Irasci-
bility was his sole foible; for in fact
the obstinacy of which men accused
him was anything but his foible, since
he Justly considered it his forte, 1t was
his strong point = his virtue; and it
would have required all the logic of a
Brownston to convince him that it was
anything else.'
I have shown that Touch-and-go Bull
let-head was o wise man; and the only
occasion on which he did not prove in
fallible, was when, abandoning that
legitimate home for all wise men, the
East, he migrated to the city of Alex
ander-the- -Great-o-nopolis, OF some place
of similar title, out West.
I must do him the justice to say,
however, that when he made up his
mind finally to settle in that town, it
was under the impression that no news
paper, and consequently no editor, ex-
listed in that particular section of the
country. In establishing The Tea
Pot" he expected to have the field all
to himself. I feel confident he never
would have dreamed of taking up his
residence in nAlexander-the-G Great -o-nop-
oils, had he been aware that in Alexan-
der the Great o-nopolis, there lived a
gentleman named John Smith Gf l
rightly remember), who, for many years,
had quietly grown fat in editing aud
publishing the Alerandcr. the create
nopolis Gazette. 1t was solely, therefore,
On account Of having been misinformed,
that Mr.. Bullet-head found himself in
Alex suppose. we call it Nopolis,
"f for short"--but, as he did find him.
self there, he determined to keep up his
character for obst- for frmness, and
remain. So remain he did; and he did
more; he unpacked his press, type,
etc., ETC., rented an Office exactly oppo-
rite that of the Gazette, and, on the
third morning after his arrival, issued
the first number of the Alexan-that is
to say, of the Nopolis Tea-PoL-as near
ly as I can recollect, this was the name
OF the new paper. .1.., 81
The leading article, must admit, was
brilliant-not to say severe. 1t was es-
pecially bitter about things in general,
and as for the editor of the Gazette, he
was torn all to pieces in particular.
Some of Bullet-hcad's remarks were re-
ally SO frey that 1 have always. since
that time, been forced to look upon
John Smith, who is still alive, in the
light of salamander. l cannot pre-
tend to give all the 7ea-pofs paragraphs
rerbatin,, but one of them runs thus:
"Oh yes!-Oh we perceive! On, no
Doubt The editor over the way is q
genius-Oh, my! Oh, goodness, gra-
cious!--what is the world coming to
oh, Temporal! Oh, Noses !'' ...
A philippe at once so caustic and so
classical, alighted like a bombshell
among the hitherto peaceful citizens OF
Nopolis. Groups of excited individuals
gathered OF the corners of the streets.
every one awaited, with heartfelt anxiety,
the reply of the dignifed Smith. Next
morning it appeared, as follows:
=" We quote from the TEAPOT of yes
terday the subjoined paragraph - Oh,
yes! Oh, We perceive! Oh. no doubt!
oh, my! Oh, goodness! Oh, temporal
Oh, Mosesp Why, the fellow is all o!
That accounts for his reasoning in a
circle, and explains why there is neither
beginning nor end to him, nor anything
that he says. We really do not believe
the vagabond can write word that
hasn't an o in it. Wonder if this DING
as habit of his? By-the-by, he came
away from Down-East in great hurry.
| Wonder if he O's as much there as he
does here? 90! it is pitiful.'"
The indignation of Mr.. Bullet-head
at these scandalous insinuations. I shall
not attempt to describe. On the eel
skinning principle, however, he did not
seem to be so much incensed at the at
tack upon his integrity as one might
have imagined It was.the sneer at his
style that drove him to desperation
What!-he Touch-and-go-B Bullet. head
| not able to write word without an 0
| in it! He would soon let the jackanape
see that he was mistaken. Yes! he
would let him see how much he was
mistaken, the puppy! He, Touch-and-
go Bullet-head, of Frogpondium, would
let Mr.. John Smith perceive that he,
bullet-head, could indict, if it so pleased
him, whole paragraph--ay! a whole
article - in which that contemplate
vowel should not once--not even once
make its appearance. But no;-that
would be yielding a point to the said
John Smith. lie, Bullet-head, would
make no alteration in his style, to suit
the caprices of any Mr.. Smith in Chris
tendon. Perish so. vile a thought!
The o foroveri He would persist in
the o. He would be as O-wy as O-wy
Icould be. Qso sis 5p tx ~ ffHf
| Burning with the chivalry of this de-
termination, the next 7ea-Pot, came out
merely with this simple but resolute
paragraph, in reference to this unhappy
affair: yeS; 4sa1 tss9 81 a,1.'r
| "The editor of the 1sa-Pot has the honor
Of ADVISING the editor Of the Gazette that he,
| tthe 1sa-Pot) will take an opportunity in
Tomorrow mornings paper OF convincing
him, tthe Gaxette) that he, (the Tea -Pot.l both