The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1875-09-17
WHAT THE WITS say.

The politicians are all working like
beavers ~ that is, underground IN. 7
Mail
7 When man has house lot on which
he cannot pay the taxes he has site toe
much.
Josh Billings says he will take the stage
this winter also, the railroad cars, when
they run his way.
It was Harry Clapp ("Figaro'') who
said that the motto of the founding asylum
should be "Thus far shalt thou 60, and no
| father.''
A celebrated wit once said of his debts
that it was neither his interest to pay the
principal nor his principle to pay the
interest.
A few days ago Norwich man bought a
chest of tea IN Providence, and on opening
it found stone inside weighing nearly
eleven pounds. He remarked that Che
weighs of Providence are Mysterious
Norsoich Bulletin.
AS freight train halted at Laramie,
Wyoming, a dirt-begrimed fellow, who had
stolen ride on the truck of one of the cars,
crawled out, and shaking himself muttered:
"Made her, by golly! Two hundred miles
ahead OF this cussed monopoly, anyhow"
It will hardly be necessary to tell the
name of the facetious party who went into
a village dry goods store the other day, and
was observed to be looking about, when
the proprietor remarked to him that they
didn't keep whisky. It would save you
a good many steps if you did," was the
stage-driver's quick reply. .--BerksAire Cour-
Ter.
A fish vender with load of fresh cod
fish, startled numerous people the other
morning, by shouting:
"Nice fresh cod! Buy cod, buy eod!''
Quite number of elderly people halted
the team to reprove him, and each one
subsequently said:
"0h, ah, yes!'-Danbury Nesos.
Somebody told Billinger that stamps
were not required on notes, and Billinger,
overjoyed, asked the crowd in to drink,
and said he pitied old Gunnybags who had
been trying for six months to get the stamps
On note he holds against Billinger. Bill
linger says he knew he would get the law
on the old gouge if he held ON long enough.
Burlington Hawk-Eye. -
Last evening man standing in front of
a Griswold street barber shop was seen to
feel his face and was heard to soliloquize
Yes, [ ought to be shaved. They charge
ten cents for shaving, and ten cents buys
two glasses of lager. I can't say that
getting shaved helps the constitution any,
but doctors recommend lager as a healthy
tonic. Therefore it is my duty to myself
to invest my money where it will do the
most good, and here goes for lager."-
Detroit Free Press.
A lately appointed postmaster of wes-
tern Massachusetts, town came down to
Boston the other day to equality" and have
his bond for 5000 approved. The bond
'ras all right and the. regular. question was
put to the p. NJ: GLOW much are you
tell haow ilutshi Il si Wal ID !; he gealiAd II 5op,t
sets me at $4,000. I guess you'd better
put it down at that fgger." How much
do the assessors set you at?" "Wal, the !
assessors don't set me at quite so high a
fgger but Tin confidential whisper)
tween you n me, I'm one Of the assessors"
Boston Iraeeller.
A New Jersey Granger heard a great
noise among his chickens the other eve-
ming, and thinking thieves were despoiling
his roost, he rushed out with vengeance in
his eye and shot gun in his hand, but dis
covered no one about. Then he counted
his fowls, but instead of some being miss
ing, he found six more than belonged to
him. His eyesight being little defective,
he didn't discover until the next morning
that he had counted six vigorous mosqui-
toes of the New Jersey brand, which had
been accidentally fastened IN the coop with
his hens. "T thought they was rather
too big for chickens when counted 'em,"
he afterwards remarked. d.-Norristoaon Her.
aid. @