The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-02-18
How MIR. Bogardus was Convinced.

:" Z. -
The other day man weighing near two
hundred pounds, who announced himself
as Mr. Bogardus, of Front Street, walked
into the counting-room of this paper and
said he wanted 10 see the man who had
slandered him. Being asked 70 explain,
he went on to say that ne mad read ire
Quent illusions in The Free Press 70 the
:" BOgardus Kicker,v and that he could
kick the man who got up the kicker"
fabrications. Every body was blowing at
him and making sport of him. he said. and
he had decided not TO stand it any longer.
He was directed to call again, and yester-
day he came up stairs. He had several
g Kicker" illusions cut from various issues
of The Free Press, and as he laid them on
the table behind which sat a pale faced
young man, Mr.. Bogardus removed his
necktie and collar and whispered: n
''There's going to be gore shed IN this
'ere room !"
do you intend to make a personal
thing of this % asked the pale-faced scribe.
"Them my purpose " replied Mr..
Bogardus, as he flung his hat into corn
er. 4" don't ride in kerridge, and L
don't hold sffis, but I'm going TO take care
of nv character. When pntty-headed
reporter ISLANDERS me it means funeral y
" But, my dear sir, no one has slandered
you-these items refer to another Bogar-
dus altogether"
"They do, hey - he whispered, getting
out of his coat. - 4 lasfa
: "They certainly do. This Mr.. Bogar-
dus lives in Louisville, and his Kicker
has found its way into almost every news
paper Office in The country"
Can t fool me - he replied as he drew
his belt another notch tighter.
"But see here. Hereis the kicker Itself,
! We ordered it over six months ago. and II
has been on duty ever since"
"Don't fool with Numidian lion y
warned Mr.. BOgardus, as he stood in his
shirt sleeves. WHAT'S the kicker fol? y
"'rhis Bogsrdus who invented IT," re
piled the young man, :" is a Louisville ed
itor. For the last fifty years every news
paper office has been bored by set o.
good-natured fellows. who paw over ex
changes. want to get poetry published anc
at length feel themselves at home in every
room. This BOgardus brought out thi,
kicker to get ridof such -persons."
"Don't lie to me (" said Mr.. Bogardus
menscingly. sAt sfsa efw -
''No, sir, | am speaking the solemn
truth. We used TO have forty or tift,
bores around this office, but all have fled
Some were lightly kicked and took tn
hint, while others were kicked TO dealt
and the coroner called it a case of heredit
airy consumption. The kicker is grea
invention, sir. and you ought to feel prou'
that your name is Bogardus." 49,
"How does she work? 70 asked tn
stranger, looking at the machine.
"She kicks, sir-kicks like mule
that's the reason why they call it tn
kicker"
"It's blasted lie ~ roared Mr.. Bogal
dus: 81 this ere thing is a power press.
: Please sit down in that chair until
show you," said the young man.
The stranger sat down, and steam wa
: turned on. He wore cynical look fo
/ about half second, but when the Kicke
fetched him two or three he shouted out
: "Lemmc up-lemme gOp
"You are now satisfied that this thin
: is all right, are your" asked the youn
man.
t " Yes thunder gosh - OH blazes-
sop 'er!
"And you are sorry that you came u
: here and wanted to spill my goreT'
: Yes-oh-blast it-yes-stop yer ol
7 machine! !"
"And ever hereafter your conduct tov
( ard newspaper men will be characterize
; by balminess, hberality, charity and r
! spect?"
"Thunder-yes-stop 'er-oh!-let u
on mel"
f And as soon as released from the tot
e of the Kicker you will resume your "a
' ment and at once"
4 But he had tainted. He was taken GU
: laid on the floor and four policemen We
l sent for to carry him down stairs and e
e him to the hospital. Mr.. Bogardus r
2 vived as they were loading him on to
r wagon, but his talk was so incoherent tn
: nothing could be made out but:
e "Stop 'er-grashus-my poor mother
:, lemme up. "-Detroit Free Press.