Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-12-30
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

IL all men were al good as they rep.
resent themselves to be the world would
be much better off.
| The latest from the Kelly motor is to
the effect that it will be ready for dem
onstration by spring. -
IL you want to get rid Of your money
put 1t In lottery or burn it up. Either
way will clean you out
| ---Artesian we'll borers in Tulare, CAL,
have discovered vein of gold bearing
quartz at depth OF 26S feet
| Splendid wild turkeys are selling for
nifty cents apiece in the old grasshopper
region Of Kansas and Nebraska
-President-of the Senate Ferry used to
make shingles. Earlier in life shingles
were perhaps used to make him-behave.
The aeronaut, Wise, expresses his
opinion that all efforts to render a balloon
navigable must fail that it must remain a
mere drifting machine.
| The Brooklyn Argus says that the
| man who wants to escape from Brooklyn
Jail and doesn't do it is either a fool or
too fat to walk through the door.
| Joaquin Miller claims that he named
the Territory of Idaho. 1t is an Indian
word-from the language of the North
| Shoshones-and it means the Gem of the
| Mountains.
"A German chemist has now discovered
a way to make artificial grindstones, and
as soon as he can invent boy who'd
rather turn grindstone than to fish the
| world will be well fixed.
If some of the cows around the coun-
| try only knew how their owners were ".
| ing about the quantity of milk they give
the said cows would put hind foot
| through new milk pail
| West Alexander, Washington County,
Pa, is called the American Gretna Green
A Justice OF the Peace there has during
his term Of Office performed the marriage
ceremony tor 900 couples.
The Columbus Enquirer favors the
consolidation of many of the small coun-
ties in Georgia, which have only 5000 in
habitants each The abolition of fifty
counties, it argues, would save $250,0OO
annually.
1t takes four days for a couple to get
married in New Mexico, and the bride
has to kiss all the greasers for 200 miles
around or some. of them will start a re-
bellion against the Government -Detroat
Free Press.
The production of gold in Montana
this year has been very satisfactory to the
miners. Since last spring there has been
an average monthly shipment of 100000
in dust by Wells, Fargo 81 Co. from that
Territory.
VIM. Horne, V. S., says in the Coun-
try Gentleman that physic in any form
should not be administered to horse
| l. u lie. :,,A ~ l. I
most sure death to relax the bowels
Neither should anything be poured into
the nostrils of the horse.
The Danbury Neps has found out
How, marvelously careful man is with
a new garment. When he comes in he is
at great pains to hang 1t on hook entirely
by itself, and woe to anyone who hangs
another article over it. AT the end OF a
week the garments being picked up from
the floor or chairs forty times a day, his
wife says"
When Pottsville Pa) bruisers want
to fight, they are not compelled to take a
steamer and skulk away out of sight.
They strip for business, step into an alley
in the rear of prominent hotel, make a
ring, and go to work, encouraged by the
general populace. Eckert and Bryant are
the latest ring" manipulators announ ced,
and the Miners Journal calls for police.
A Mrs. Hannigan, of New Orleans,
was detected a few days since stealing or
| namental vases from about the graves in
one of the cemeteries. As some of these
vases are OF bronze, and therefore of con-
siderable value, Mrs. II. has been max
| ing II a profitable business. Seven vases
were recovered, and the woman was COM
mitted to prison to await trial for dcsecrat-
ing graves.
For practical jokes, commend me TO
| that Staten-lsland girl who came to the
city on Thanksgiving Day and caused a
telegram to be sent to her parents that she
was dead. Her father, who is an Episco-
palian clergyman, was conducting serv-
| ice when the news reached him, and
nearly tainted away, causing much alarm
among the church attendants. After a
few hours of mourning in the home OF
this girl her friends returned To the island
| with information that she was not dead al
all, and had sent the telegram herself as n
joke. The worst part OF this story Is that
she Is twenty-five years oldl-N. J. Cor.
Chicdgo Tribune,
According tn the twenty first annual
report Of the Boal . of Education OF Chi
cage there were 40, l2l pupils enrolled in
the public schools OF that city during the
past year The teachers numbered 700,
and the school buildings ST. new ones
having been erected during the year, The
cost for textbooks is over $4,000 per
annum, which sum the Board hope to re-
duce by requiring publishers to furnish
school books at Wholesale prices. The
average cost of tuition per pupil is Sl5 ~.
The school-room accommodations are SO
ina', Iuate that 10000 pupils can be given
! halliday sessions only