The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1875-08-11
NEWSPAPEI. REPORTING.

s NEWSPAPER: REPORTING.
I commenced newspaper life with the
most cheerful anticipatious. II seemed o
wholesome thing to puff somebody's sugar.
coated hams, and have one handed in the next
morning, with yellow frock on, and o loop
to hang it up by; to attend horse trots and
higher-hfe camp-meetings. and pick the
obvious points Of the best trotters and ex.
horters, must be q most agreeable labor.
So, too, it would be sweet duty to ryitsS
the obituary Of lager-besr seller sshd
close by SAYING, We.wilt-s'l assemble svd
bis bser; or write one for an ice.mershant q
deslaang that before his exitsthe hts ~
maaeed broke out singing 6 sS 10 q sss
g:ss We will gather ths ~ ~ & So
& e might also be added as + tzi6ss
ills business integrity that his senss
were cared for Oh his own crystal ioes wbisA.
has,no superior d the MARKET s S e e
After writing q few days, sstarted soik
into some grotesque sketches iof the hoase
hold Of Hosea Jones, describing myself -
the bald-healed and hnsophisticated Sns
numerous family. Many rprai fsadtf5
'took this all for corn" Only one man felt !
an. afront. He had studied to -
butcher, and was q success. He wal AZ
very healthy man. His nuckles were Ike:
walrus teeth, worn down. Hesoansd ppor<s
me early one morning. he tSas lobster.
red-boiled in his own passions. He was
almost royal purple under his eyes, and the
aanges Of his ears seemed to bs On fre.
He looked like man who had walked %
on his ear no rapidly that he predaesd
hot box. eau
he rushed upon me, shouting:
'Now I've got ye, and I'll hammer the
pulp out Of ye, You mean puppy: III put
tea-buscuit over your peppers. III learn
ye to speak disrespectable Of me and my
darters, you-"
"Mr. JONES'" faltered. "this is a>joke.s
he came on, glaring and snorting.
thought how hard it wasto be smashed out
Of existence in the glow Of youth, with the
whole earth filed with greenness, fruit and
beauty.
I! "Tn get the file and see about IT, !
shouted, as fed. I think the Sed nants
after me yet. I think he will sweep down;
upon me some Of these sunny days p OF
ten dream Of being in the shamble; near
his slaughter-house, and hear him' order
the boy to bring the sledge-hammes:-
Obituary writing has been my bsstthold
wrote one for the captain Of 3 saybtooE
schooner. I was told Of his death by hon.
est people. ] sketched him as be- gailp
strolled down the golden streets5 afterra
noon lunch Of nectar and ambrosia, In .
way to make his family proud false odd
ed, to be impartial, the customary musical
instrument. It was not q harp, however.
No, I slung him with BAGS @viola. The
captain, when on earth, was. an excellent
fiddler, and therefore, with an eye to his
progress in all things, accredited him
with a bass viol. added asstsnza ef po-,
etry, as follows:
"While here below the botttswns 'hfS love, -
So he should have base viol when above"
A week after, the capta;nealled on me-
smoking brier-wood pipe. Hs- was mnch-.
pleased. ~.
whats to pay for ttatwritingr hs.a
asked. "Me and my wife and che girls
took solid comfort with it. want you to-.
use it when the right time comes. =
charged the captain regular cemetery
lot prices. Six feet by two. one insertion.
Some time ago, the venerable widow
Wicks lost her son Phineas. Last Fall she
had his remains removed to Connecticut;
for final burial. She sent me brief mo-
tice for publication, with privilege Of oor'-
rection. was as follows:
HOME At LAST.
We learn, with unfelt sorrow, that Mira
Mehitable Wicks has brought the remains
Of Phineas home for determent. She will
put two .(2) stones over his grave, with
Phineas Wicks on one and P. W. On tho
other. Mrs. W. has been to great expense
in these panicky times, but she trusts
that the public will appreciate her eforta
to make buckle and strap meet.
published it as follows: i
p. ". WELL Y1xEp At LAST.
Things come round right at last, II you
only lay low and keep dark. Witness the
case Of Phineas Wicks. He died abroad.
but now his doting friend has fre'ghted his
remains to the Nutmeg State, which bears
the appropriate motto Of Qui sustenst irons
tulet. She will set up two stones above
him "a headstone and hindstone. On
one will be carved "Phiner," and on tho
other "Finis," which is Latin for Finny.
Mrs. W. has put out her stamps ur,spar.
inely to do this, but she believes in "letting
The tail go with the hide"
Seriously, one thing is sure. A news
paper man can never die. his name may
20 out, but the light Of his little candle
an never quite cease. What he writes In
not haste may cool into an eternal carving.
His everyday paragraphs, like the lowly
may flower beautifully in SEQ.
md summer.
coo~, of+er tho termination Of the lsta