The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1875-12-22
4 SHORT sKErcn OF AN EDITOR.

the wearing problems which are the
mysteries of his singular profession,
left the seclusion of his Office and sal
lied forth into the busy world to do
among meu as he was done by. He
had long years before been dsabused
Of any impression which might have
haunted his mind that he knew ary-
thing about editing a paper, for every
man who came into his office knew
more about that business than the un.
fortunate editor did, and never scru.
pied to tell him so. But the poor man
thought it would be o very agreeable
and pleasant thing to do as other men
did, and it was for the purpose of fol-
lowing general custom that he went
out on this beautiful day so long ago.
The sun was shining brightly; the
dull, distant hum Of insect life in the
adjoining county came family to his
ears birds we're singing, and so Sc.
rene and peaceful was the aspect Of
nature that it seemed impossible, IL
such bright. beautiful world, there
could be so much misery, wretched-
ness, wickedness and total depravity.
But there was all the same,- for there
was the editor to prove it.
He went into the Office of lawyer
with whom he was slightly acquainted,
and, seating himself in chair, put his
feet on the desk and began to whistle
"Silver Threads Among the Gold" in
loud tone of whistle. The attorney
looked astonished and asked what his
visitor wanted. He said nothing, but
took bundle IF papers from pigeon
hole, and began to look them over and
read out loud. When he had got
through, the indignant lawyer took his
visitor by the neck and gently but
| firmly kicked him down stairs.
"And yet" mused the unhappy man,
as he brushed off his clothes aud went
limping on his way, "that man was in
my Office only day before yesterday
and read three of my articles before
they were published. 1t is singular
how different it is when read his"
He went into a dry goods store, and
had just time to get behind the counter
when a lady came in and asked for
some brown satin.
"Yes'am," he said.
After creating an earthquake in
that part of the store, he followed her
directions aud got what she wanted.
"How much do you want?" he ask
ed, "about half column ?"
She stared.
Thirty or forty lines be enough ?"
he inquired. .
| She said she wanted half yard.
"Ahf' he said, "About eighteen
squares-yes, yes"
"And cut on the bias" she contin.
ued. -
Certainly" he said "buy as much
as you please" And be began to
tear the goods in various shapes when
the merchant collared him and put
him out.
"And yet," the poor man muscd as
he wen. on, that very man wrote two
articles for the paper the other day,
declaring that they were better than
anything had written for six months;
and although seventy-6ve subscribers
stopped their paper when they were
published, he never sent anything
around to pey for it," S.
He turned sadly into a drug store,
took prescription from poor wo-
man standing there, looked it wisely
over, and then took a little quinine,
arsenic, morphine and strychnine, put
them up in powders, and told the wo-
man to give her husband one every
two hours until he didn't complain
any more about his head. AS she
went out of the door one Of the pow
ders spilled on dogs back, and the
animal died in three seconds. The ed
itor was arrested, and only released
on giving a solemn promise to support
the sheriff for re,eleetion. aeas--as
"How is it," he wondered, "that all
classes of men, of all occupations, have
found time not only to perfect them
selves in their own business aud pro-
fessions, bat also to master mine more
thoroughly than l have been able to
DO by giving my entire time and
strength to it?"
lie sighsd as he walked into bank.
He put his head in at the paying tell
er's window aud shouted "ilello!" as
loud as he could roar, Then he
drummed on the glass with his fingers,
and was forcibly elected by the por-
ter. . .A. 49,
81 give it up" he said. 81 am the
most worthless of mankind. l don't
know how to attend to anybody's bust
ness bat my own !" aud so he walked
drearily back to his dismal sanctum,
where he found seven men, four of
them perfect strangers to him, occupy
ing the chairs, pouring over the ex-