The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1875-06-11
EvE-ANGELICAL CORNER

a Natchez husbend kept his wife home
from Il social gathering by stealing her false
teeth.
Mrs. Titon is to open n summer boarding
house, and the San inquiries if Tilton and
Beecher will both be boarders
A lady who asked her lover if he would
like to see the lambs feed, was surprised to
hear hnn say he had rather see her eye
brows(e).
Four women in sun-bonnets, armed with
hickories and going for carpet on q
clothes-line, inspire more respect than a
Methodist conierence.-.SouthB Bend Union.
Mark Twain could have married sixty
five different girls for love, but he waited
till he could love one with q coal mine in
her own name.
Col. Andrew Bates, who is always looking
out for the beautiful, says the coming
bonnet is to have Il hurricane deck and
bell tower, and will also have signal light,
birds of paradise, and Welch rabbits
atlanta Herald
A Cleveland woman recently married
Chinese laundryman and in three days
thereafter the unhappy celestial appeared
at barber's shop and ordered his pig-tail
cut off, saying in explanation "'Too
muchee dam yank."
1t is rumored that since the abrupt dis
continuance Of the testimony in the Beecher
trial, several old women have died in
Brooklyn of the "jim. jams" superinduced
by the sudden cessation of their exhilir-
ating doses before bedtime.
81 want it nice, and strong, and snug
like" said the widow, exhuming fresh
pocket handkerchief, and controlling her
sobs with difficulty. ''Oh, that's all right,
ma'am, that's all right" returned the un-
dertakcr, tapping the coffin merely, he
couldn't get out of it, ma am, if he had a
mind to. ."-Brook5yn Argus
A doctor went out West to practice his
profession. An old friend met him on the
street one day, and asked him how he was
succeeding in his business. First rate"
he replied. "l've had one CASE Well
what was that? at was IS birthl"
said the doctor. How did you succeed
with that ?" "Well, the old woman died,
and the child died. But, by the grace of
Gud I'll save the old man yet p
The St. Louis Globe man who writes
about fires, thus discourses of a conflagra-
tion in milliners shop: "The flames
crowded through the door and started in
for fun. They tried on the Spring hats
and jumped upon the chairs and tables to
admire themselves in the mirrors. Then
they dashed hther and thither among the
laces and embroideries, feeding on ostrich
reathers till they became bloated, and then
trampled the ruches under foot and stamped
the beauties from out the flowers until i'll
all the wreck of matter they were left the
only bright things"
The following is addressed to whom it
may concern: You feel superiority to the
whole human race as you stand at the
altar with your fair young bride. Iou
would not change places with the President.
Yet few short years, few whiskings Of
broom handles, an untimely stoppago Or
two of waited fat-irons, and your weary
body will rest under the swaying willow,
while some gallant will bring your late
afflicted partner out to the cemetery IN o
calm Sabbath evening and whisper love IN
her ear while they strew peanut shells oyer
your grave. "Oh, why should the spirit
of mortal be proud ?" We pass.-Mners'
Journal.