The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1875-10-07

Deastsf why snouiu mems mats iulnll
neither the aesthetic nor the utilita rian
requirements Of such an article2 Why
should this necessary piece of head gear
be one season O shining cylinder of
pasteboard and silk ironed upon block
that varies from season TO season its
shape-irst that OF an elongated cylin-
der having an equal diameter at bottom
and top, next fashioned as pyramid
with sloping sides, and then as suddenly
1t mimics the form of an inverted cone;
its rim is wide, 1t then is narrow; 1t first
turns up, again turns down; the top is
fiat, anon is round; 1t bulges barely
enough to shed the falling shower; then,
in defiance Of fitness for the uses which
called 1t into being, a'miniature brim is
formed upon its top wherein the rain
drops accumulate to deluge the wealer
at Irregular but constantly ly-recurring in
tervals.
Why should the skirt of his coat de-
scend to his heels for season, and be
orthodox and decent, and suddenly,
without cause or reason or explanation
other than that 1t is the fashion, ascend
far above his knees? Why should the
waist, which nature has located at the
girdle, 60 up under the arms and as sud-
denly descend upon the hips? Why
should our trowsers swell to the ampli-
tude of meal sacks in the fashion plates
and upon the limbs of all male human
| ity, and then collapse to a degree of at
tenuation such that our legs seem to
have been liquefied and poured into the
4 bifurcated integuments peculiar to male
bipeds, like jelly in a mold? Why
should the many folded strips Of stiff
ened linen, or it's paste. board imitation,
which we wear about our necks and
style collar, be iauntily rolled down
above a scarf, and then remorselessly
l set on edge, to the perpetual endanger-
ing OF the ears of all masculine man.
kind? Why are boots and shoes con-
structed to tit fashion in lasts that
changes from round to square, from
wide to narrow, from blunt to pointed
ends, rather than alter the model of the
human footp
And in the matter OF women's attire,
Heaven save the mark! where shall we
begin or where shall our interrogations
cease? Why must the dear creatures
forever disguise the graceful outlines OF
their charming persons by ingenious but
inelegant tictions, Stimulating deformi-
ties that, If they actually existed, would
render them simply hideous? What USE
full, earthly end Is subserved or aesthetic
; aspiration satisfied by hanging enormous
amplitude of skirt over circumambient
steel or whaleDone balloons which pro-
tect the neither limbs as little as the dis
tended cover of an umbrella does its
own handle. But il it indeed be beautiful,
or commodious, or convenient, why,
when every created woman under
heaven has adjusted her wardrobe in ac.
cordance with this usage, why, we ask,
iruthlessly and incontinently abandon
these whalebone and steel inventions ut
terly; reduce the flowing robes to the
grid them back about the limbs so that
sk.mpest and scantiest of proportions and
to sit or walk without Inconvenience
alike an impossbilityP Why, when, for
a wonder, the skirts Of wonlen's dresses
have, by Fashions decree, been sensi-
bly, shortened TO the shoe tops, as actu-
ally occurred within the memory OF liy-
ing persons, SO as to enable even the
most unsOphisticated to see and know
that female human beings have legs and
feet, and are not really propelled upon
1 castors-why must the dear creatures
fly to the opposite extreme and trail
their bet1ounced and elongated robes u
yard upon the ground through mire and
filth and all uncleanliness, until we al
most believe the antique fiction of the
sirens, floating enliclngly upon the
sea, with woman's intoxicating charms
displayed above the foam, but the SER
lpenL's h0rrid form below? Why should
her hair, the crowning glory OF woman,
be tortured and twisted and dyed and
bleached and puffed and powdered and
friZZed, clipped short in front to hang
untidily over the brow, that falrest
lieature in woman's face, while at the
back or on the crown it is rolled and
iplaited and twisted in huge masses made
up OF all abominations, rags, wool, lint,
hemp, jute, bags Of bran, cotton,
lieathers, hair OF beasts, and, worst of all
human hair pilfered from the dead OF
pest-houses and hospitals, until under
this unsightly mass OF rubbish the grace
full outlines OF the female head divine is
disfgnred and concealed rather than
adorned2 Why must the hat or bonnev
that ought surely to be a covering for The
head, simply aud suitably made, ada pied
OF course to the changing seasons
wherefore should this be as changing as
the tidesf To-day having rimbs possess.
ing the circum. .erence Of umbrellas, to-
morrow with none or next to none at all |;
one week thing of rattan and tissue as
huge almost as a cateche, in the cavern
ous depthssof which the ever charming
face OF woman resembles that OF anyplph
in the recesses of grotto; a fortnight
later, perhaps, to disappear amid tue
Ijeers OF an outraged community, to be
replaced by deyice OF ribbons and
flowers ami laces, scarcely wider than a
lgarter? Why should woman's gownbe
trimmed one way. and then another, and
another, and yeL another, now founce,
tomorrow told, again with neither OF
both Iyea, forever and f,reverf
| Why should both men aud women,
but especially women, constantly pur-
sue the ignis fatuus OF seeking to fash
ION their garments after the latest
modes, when the latest modes are phan-
toms that, like dissofving views upon
the magician's screen, are only seen to
fade to other forms, themselves as evan
escent as their predecessors? Why?
But our interrogatories, like the line Of
i kkr% laA MI ossr l.a rfoi ion. nf