Vermont farmer. [volume] (Newport, Orleans County, Vt.) 1870-1877, 1875-09-03
Family Training. No. 4.


The family must also be school Of good
manners. Manners ard morals are intimately
connected. One is the counterpart Of the
other, and both are indispensable to cousti-
tute the true man or woman.
Morals are the basis Of human character
and manners are It's decorations, which serve
TO make IL more attractive and lovely. Nor
ais are the staple Of human laws, aud the
regulators Of human governments; and re-
fined manners serve as gildngs to make laws
more effective and government more secure.
And while | urge the necessity Of training
children to habits Of integrity and virtue, 1
claim that it is also the duty of parents to
give special attention to their manners. II
is mistaken notion that morality, or even
picty, alone, will so far regulate the conduct
that social culture will be unnecessary.
How often do we have occasion to regret the
lack of refinement in those whose character
we admire! Aud all the more do we pity
them because of their generosity aud good
ness. Such persons wsuld not violate the
laws of good breeding, If they knew It but,
to their sorrow, they have learned that canons
Of etiquette are not found in oreeds and
codes Of Christian morals. Tney are liable
to come to our table with dirty nails" o.
to "mop their ioreheads" with their napkins
aud yet they would be utterly ignorant that
they had given offense by so doing.
Good manners must be taught in the fam
lily, both by precept and example If We ex
pect our children to become true gentlemc
and ludies fitted to mingle in refined society
It is not sufficient occasionally to tell then
how they should behave, aud TO rebuke then
for some grave offense. They must b
trained to habits Of polIteness with as muc
care as to habits of obedience and integrity
No father would expect his sou to undel
stand practical engineering without muc
study aud practice. No mother expects he
y daughter to become skilfu pianist withou
critical instruction aud long continued reel
' tations. And how absurd to suppose tina
gracefulness Of manners can be acquired b
hearing the rules Of good behavior, or rea'
ing rules Of etiquette
But many children do not enjoy even the
privileges. They grow up entirely ignoral
u of the first principles of politeness at
;, when compelled to go into society, they e'
pericnce painful embarrassment in cons
' quence of their deficiency. This is not the
y fault, but it is none the less the source
" their torture.
In other families the theory of civil
may be taught, and rudeness sometimes !
buked and yet the laws of politeness a
practically dlsregarded.
But some maintain that the cultvati
of the habits of courtesy tend to make CHI
- dren affected; and affectation, they say,
/, more offensive than awkwardness. "Childr
.. must be allowed to be natural" But it
a natural for some children to eat greedi
;, and with their knives, at the table. and G
& tirely to neglect their superiOrs. Others q
=, naturally inclined to SLOUGH into the preser
bo of strangers with their heads covered,
!. speak in loud aud boorish manner. to I
=, the paror as if it were gymnasium, and
q interrupt and contradict their parents VIII
b couversing with visitors. Should such n
ural habits be tolerated But under faith
- early training, children become polite wit
- out being affected PARESs'