Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-02-24
IntrOducttOns.


is q peculiarly American custom. II
you meet Dusenberry in the street, at q
hotel, at party, or anywhere, Dusen-
berry straightway introduces you to all
the bystanders. 1t may be that ID. is
being badly bored by somebody; he
introduces you to him all the same !;
indeed, he avails himself of the custom
in order to shuttle off his bores. Not
only does he not stop to inquire whether
you want to know Spriggins or Stig-
gems, or Toodles. but he actually intro
duces you to them because they annoy
him, and are people it is not desirable
to know.
In most cases these introductions are
to persons you have no sort of interest
in whom you would rather not know,
and whom you are unable to remember.
But when you meet them again each
one introduces you to another lot of his
own sort, and SO your circles of ac-
quaintance are continually multiplying
and expanding. Political conventions
and the capitals where Legislative bodies
and politicians assemble, are places
where the business of loose introduc-
tions is continually going on. So are
drinking places. John Phoenix, the
California humorist describes the ope-
ratioAs
You meet Brown on Montgomery
street: Good morning, Brown"
''How are you, Smith? Let me intro
duce you to Mr.. Jones"-and you forth
with shake hands with q seedy indi-
vidual, who has been boring Brown for
how lAa-
probabl y-an individual you never saw
before, never had the slightest desire
to see, and never wish to see again.
Being naturally of an arid disposition,
and perhaps requiring irrigation at that
particular moment, you unguardedly
invite Brown and your new friend Jones
to step over to Parry & Batten's and
imbibe.
What is the consequence The mis-
creant Jones introduces you to fifteen
more equally desirable acquaintance,
and in two minutes from the first in
PRODUCTION, there you are, with seven
teen newly formed friends, all of whom
take sugar in their'n at your expense.
This is invading mans quarters with
a vengeance. But this is not the worst
of it. Each gentleman to whom you
have been introduced, wherever you
meet thereafter, in billiard-room, ten
pin alley, pot-house, or church, intro
duces you to somebody else, and SO the
list increases in geometrical proportion.
In this manner you form a crowd of
acquaintances, of the majority of whom
you recollect neither names nor faces,
but being continually assailed by bows
and smiles on all sides, you are forced
to avoid the appearance of rudeness, to
go bowling and smirking down the street
like distinguished character in pub
lie procession, or one of those craven
images at Tobin & Duncan's, which are
eternally wagging their heads, with no
definite object in view.
These general introducers fancy they
are doing the polite by making them
selves masters of ceremonies everywhere
and introducing everybody to every
body /; but he who introduces one per
son to another, without knowing that
the Introduction is mutually desirable,
or without having some reason to think
they ought to be acquainted, commits
rudeness which shows that he does not
understand good manners.
When the Prince of Wales was in this
country, with his retinue of the high
nobility, and met the free and equal
American citizens at public receptions
without any of the social reserve of
their own order and of English man
ners, this custom of introducing was
exhibited in ludicrous light.
But perhaps the most remarkable
experience they had in this line was not
in this circulating style of fintroductions,
but in an exclusive and distinguished
one which took place at the ball to the
Prince at Pixies Opera-house. A dis
tinguished citizen impressed himself on
the Duke of Newcastle, and then, as the
common tradition has it, performed an
introduction in the following choice
terms "Duke, let me introduce you
to my wife, Mrs. Judge -, the cousin
of Mrs. Abraham Lincoln and the
daughter of sjor-General -, of
Kentucky, who Was brutally massacred
by the British and Indians while glori-
Ously fighting for his country at the
battle of the River Raisen."