Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1875-05-08
SMITHS REHEARSAL.

never knew 4 nicer fellow tnaD
Smith. He was an artist, and every
sthing YOU could. wish for in the man
whom you made your friend. 4.
For instance, he was good-lOoklng.
but not 50 good-looklng that you felt
Jealous of him when you introduced
him to the ladies ofyour acquaintance.
He was tall and strong enough to take
your part where physical force was
necessary. He was well enough of not
TO want to borrow money of you and
to lend it when you wanted to borrow
il yourself And, to crown all, he had
q temper of the most suave descrlp-
ton imaginable. Ii he played whist
with YOU and won, he pocketed the
money; if, on the contrary, you won,
it didn't make the slightest difference
TO Smith-you pocketed the money,
that was all. TO use the language OF
the by-gone professors of the noble
art of self defense" Smith was man
who always came up smiling, and for
him life seemed to have no care.
1t is said to be long lane that has
no turning; and Smith found that there
was a turning in his at last, and
the turning led him into Guagmire Of
misery-into a Slough of Despond. l
m2st tell you, by the way, that Smith,
in spite OF his good looks, was cynic.
lie sneered at women, and looked upon
them as an inferior order of beings
only suited to make into shlrt-makers,
the setters-on of buttons, and washers
of garments. 1t was very objectlOna-
bile for man to have such points but
then. we are none of US born per ect.
How man-in his right senses,
and mind" said Smith to me one day, In
confidence-''cang 90 with his eyes wide
open, and say to a woman, Here, my
dear, let me be your slave for lite, lind.
ing you in hOuse-roOm, dresses, ser
wants, etc, gets over me. And the
matter does'n stop there for no one
could possibly supply a woman with
all that she wished for. Then look at
her children, and the consequent ex
penses there. Even ii man could
treat it in this light-namely, that his
income would double on marriage, and
90 on doubling with every child born
unto hint would be great under
taking: but as matters are-oh, my
dear boy. its atrOciOus! I'll never
marry. Look at Jennings;
Not here" / said, " to look at"
mo. dear boy" he said, suavely /;
"but look at his position, mentally
twelve children, twins three times,
which makes sextet. Faucy-being
n man with sextet! It's horrible
Try another of these cigars, old fell
low. | wouldn't be Jennings for all
the world.
Nice little wife, though" said.
"Yes, she really is, said Smith, "a
most amiable little woman. How well
come she always makes you when you
gol Jennings is very proud of her.
$50 he ought to be, l said. Mrs.
J. is a model little woman; loves her
husband dearly, and always has a sweet
candid smile for his old trends. Seen
her sister 2
Yes" said Smith, I've seen her.
But after all, it's a sad position for
man to be in-tied up to woman. How
he must look with envy at his bachelor
acduaintances All, woman, woman
as Milton said, whose mortal taste
brought death into the world, and our
Woe
Gently" l said; " if you must in
fict quotations on your friends do it
correctly"
That's quite correct, assure you"
Quite incorrect" | said.
is it really, thought" he answered,
opening his pleasant grey eyes very
wide. We'll, do you know, now, |
thought that was quite right
BY the way, | said, the Jennings
cs give party next week. Are you
gOing?'
Dear boy, no, said Smith. They
asked me"
And you declined? 2"
swell, no, | haven't declined yet.
I've only had the letter a week. But,
| mean to"
Don't decline then, but go.
why, my dear fellow, they have
all the children out, aud cake, and
oranges, and blind man buff 1t will
be regular rough and tumble affair.
Perhaps ask you to hold the twins"
But you like old Jennings" said.
Dear old boy, isn't he ?" said Smith,
earnestly.
well, he will feel sighted if you
stop away,
"Think he will?"
''Sure to.
Then I'll go, said Smith. "But |
shall be regular wet blanket on the
party"
The night of the Jennings party
came, and having weakness for child
rem. / meant to go early; but, being a
medical man. / was called away, and
did not reach the Jennings place in
Tayistock Square till halt-past ten.
There was regular shrek in the
dining room, mingled with roars of
laughter. the knocking together of
chairs and cries of Take care as L
divested myself of top-coat and hat;
and when | edged in through the door,
# vas 10 see Smith, in full evening COS
tune with two studs gone out Of his
shirt front. his%hite tie Ia Flint
witch under one ear, the said shirt
front q regular rag, his hair all touzzled,
a Sir white handkerchief tied over his
: YES a young Jennings hanging on to
~. coat tail. and others batting MIN,