Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-07-08
MisccIlaneous.

miscellaneous.
.,ostly furniture-Indian bureaus.
4 schenectady girl at spelling
school sat down on s.pantsioons."
At a recent spelling match one
man spelt it spasnip and got beet.
One swallow does not make a spring,
but q dozen swallows sometimes
make one fall.
No man can become thoroughly ac-
qualnted with his family history with
out running for effice.
Quills are things that are some
times taken from the pinions OF one
goose to spread the opinions oi an
other.
Old oent-aWEat d5 you wear specs
for -bovY' Boosblack-"Cos puts
sncb shiny shine on gentlemen's
boots it hurts me eyes"
The man who .ronounces "Don
ouixote" aDonkeyhote" shows dis
nosition to intrude his own name that
is not cOmmendEDte.
AWestern man, reading of a crick
ct club in New York paper, writes
the editor to know if the club is good
for anything for grasshoppers.
"What kind Of sassages is them"
queried an old lady of the young
man of literature and peanuts, as he
passed through the train selling
bananas.
"No," said Mrs. Podgers, very pos
itively, s'if l go into the country, Mr..
Podgers goes with me. This city
amt no safe place to leave a man
alone in"
How a woman can keep on talking
while she twists up her back hair and
has her mouth full of hairpins is
mystery not yet explained.-Cart
Pretzel.
An Illinois woman who wanted to
go to masquerade party as Mary
Oueen of Scots, looked through the
Bible to ascertain how the character
was dressed.
"Minnie, Pm in such quandary;
for if turn my back on Charley he
becomes offended at once, and if |
don't he can't see my new buckle.
What shall | do?"
A kind-hearted, flowing Balti-
more man painted his front steps
twenty three times trying to please
his wife, and then she decided that
the first color was the best
A young lady, after reading atten-
lively the title of novel, called "The
Last Man." exclaimed, "Bless me, if
such thing were ever to happen,
what would become of the women.
0I< declare" said Susan, as she
watched the people coming into
church, s'that man looks like piece
of dried beef" "Hushr' said her sis
ter, ait isn't meet in you to talk So"
"Will you have small piece of
the light meat or a small piece of the
dark?" asked Bob's uncle, as he
carved the turkey at dinner. 81 will
take large piece of both" answered
Bob.
If, says contemporary, Brigham
Young wore an additional weed on
his hat every time he lost wife or
mother-i -in-l law, it is estimated that his
hat would have to be twenty
feet high.
Yet another warning. Joseph
Bates, of Vermont, falls dead while
carrying in an armful of wood. Show
this paragraph to your wife. Nay,
cut it out and pin it TO the woodshed
door.
When a boy falls and peels the
skin off his nose, the first thing he
does is to get up and yell. When a
girl tumbles and hurts herself badly,
the first thing she does is to get up
and look at her dress.
We see through it at last. The
butcher sticks those miserable little
wooden pins-which no amateur cary
er can contemplate without profane
impulse--into the roasting piece to
make it seskewer.
A farmer complains that hook
and ladder company has been organ
lied in his neighborhood. He states
that the ladder has been used after
dark for climbing into the hen house,
after which the hooking is done.
Quin, the actor, being asked by a
lady, why there were more women in
the world than men, replied, at is in
conformity with the other arrange
ments of nature = we always see
more of heaven than of earth"
"Mary, why did you kiss your hand
to the gentleman opposite, this morn
ing;;" said careful mother to her
blooming daughter. "Why, the gen
tleman had the impudence to throw
kiss clear across the street, and, OF
course, 1 threw it back indignant
You wouldn't have me encourage
him by keeping it would youT'