The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-09-23
A CHAPTER ON BOILS.

I've had boil, got it yet In fact-a
regular, old-fashioned eighteen carat
&sbile |" Well, while I've had it, I've
kept clean record of all the boil cures
that have been urged upon me, and the
publication thereof hope will result in
Che early cure of all boils In this part of
the universe.
My boil came the first part of the
month on my hip, and the first man who
saw me limp said
'' Holloa, corns hurt you?''
Il said, " mo, I've got boil
~fs Don't say2 Well, now, see here /;
you go right home and get some of
BalIey's ointment, and buy five cents
worth of lint and put it on your
boil, and it will be well in twentyfour
hours"
/ thanked him, got on a horse-car,
and met another friend who urged me by
all means to make bread-and-milk poul-
fice, and lie perfectly quiet until it should
come to a head, "for," says he, Boils
are sore things, and they don't like to be
iammed around much.
I thought so, too, but before / had
time to say so another friend reached
over, and, touching me with his cane,
said: Hs
'sDid I hear you remark that you were
suffering with boil?'
eyes, sir, suffering is the word. "
Well, now, see here, John" says he,
'+'alI you've got to do is just to live it
down. Live well, eat plenty of beef
steak. mutton chops, eggs, and omelets,
and then if you will drink glass of hot
water before breakfast-nct warm water,
you know, but just as hot as you can
stand it-you will drive all the impuri-
ties out of your blood instanter."
Reaching my place Of businessI found
three more boi-curers awaiting me. The
first said:
4ENow, you just give a quarter and I'll
slip out to drug store and get box of
mereurial ointment, and I'll ease you in
less than three minutes. You see it
drives the matter back in the blood and
= Che blamed thing has to heal up in spite
of itself.
But while ] was taking out the quar-
Ter another friend stepped up and beg
ged me not to waste time or money on
mercurial ointment /; he had had boils
from a boy up to two years ago, when
an old woman on Long Island, friend
of Ills mother in-law, had cured him
completely; the matter mustn't be dIiv-
~ en- back into the blood, but must be
- coaxed out of it if not there could be no
certainty about the thing.
And now If you will just let your
boy go down to a botanic drug store, y
said he, and ask for ten cents worth
of. red cedar berries, and take and stew
them In pint of water and drink the
20 sea, you'll never have another boil.
The next man was woman who had
listened to the last two prescriptions.
She now put in her oar. Her husband
had had boils all over his body, and
what she knew about the boil bust
ness was only equalled by the late FL.
g G.. In the farm line. There was only
one sure cure for boils: A few cents
vsgegth of honey mixed with flour and
HE y6Ek Of a. egg would draw boil to
a head quicker than all the salyes in
creation.
by boy was standing, hat In hand,
waiting patiently to be sent for one or
ali of these lotions when Wall street
ifxisnd stepped In and s8id
-<rWhy, / can cure you of a dozen
;boils in less than two days any time, or
at least can on any one va the street.
You ssee we use bears grease on the
bulls, ssnd the gall of bulls to poultice
the bears with. Jay. Gould buys all
*Ehe dead bears at the Central Park and
<BarINsIn!s Museum, and keeps ten men
s2t werk boiling-out bears grease, and
ne ,oftentSraws the sorest boils to head
1S8efores the owners know it - besides he
knew men who contracted for all the
; bIlls' gals that came to Washington
Market.
I said, e.YEy Christian friend, my boil
Is too serious a matter to joke about,
and it's not your kind. ] was about
80 administer some needed advice to him
when an Irish tailor next door dropped
I IN and urged me to send out and get a
little shoemakers' wax, and wear it on
my boil just one dAy, and he would guar
antee cure or IN hke no charge for his
advice. 1870
E I4sent IlgF boy black with his hat, and
Selling my own q started for home, hop
ing therebyto gett rid OF my tormentors,
who were as mIoIR worse than nv boil as
the boiIzwas swor@e than ife-insurance
agent. DIS eeI
Butpa4naana nailght as well expect to
;saye off a chill las to free himself from
1oil-doctors. Before l reached home
net an<old frieniR who, after sympathiz-
ng with me, info Prmed me that If would
ust mix a tab espoonful of "Injun !"
neal In a little water and drink it three
INES week, 1T would eradicate all the
ffluvia from the blood, and make me feel
Ike morning 8 tar.
On reaching lome found Spiritual