River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-03-26
THE ORIGIN OF MAN.
After Darwin.
cHAPrER |.

anu singing their morning lays; the sky
was one vast sheet of blue. Everything,
in short, was full Of sweetness and light,
except the lovely Adeliza de Chimpanzee.
She was in the dumps. Moodily she rub.
bed her shoulder against huge palm.
tree, and while performing that act
heayed vast sigh. just at that moment
her mamma dropped from the tree above
her.
"My daughter" said the Duchess de
Chimpanzee. why that sigh
"Ah, mamma, look at me, said Lady
Adeliza. "See how different | am from
the rest Of our tribe. See how white
am becoming"
MY daughter" said the Duchess, Ian.
guidly, as she seated herself on conven-
lent boulder, "You should be proud of
the difference. We are a higher race.
| 81 don know, mamma. See what lit
tie caudal APPENDICES we have; all the
ether folks can hang from trees by their
tails, but We are compelled to SIT on the
limbs.
I'VE are advancing, my dear. You
are winter than am; you can talk in
your youth; | could not till middle age ;
your grandmother, as you know, can only
grunt it. You are moving to higher
sphere"
"Well, mamma, none OF our folks will
marry me, said Lady Ageliza, pouting.
mo, my child. 1t has been decreed
that there should be selection of the
tittest in marriage. We have offered you
to the Prince d'0urang 0utang, who is
even winter than you, as a wife"
"0h, mamma !" gushed the Lady AIDE
liza; that's splendid viii he come
soon 2"
"Rcstrain yourself. People of high
blood and short caudal appendices never
get excited. He will be here in a short
time"
Lady Adeliza went away to look for CO.
coanuts; the Duchess sat on the rock,
and reflectively scratched her head.
CHAPTER II.
The Duke de Chimpanzee was Chief of
very large tribe. If he had been in the
show business he would have made his
everlasting fortune. He had but one
child, the Lady Adeliza, and, as she would
inherit the live stock over which he ruled,
many of the neighboring chiefs desired to
marry her. Her parents. however, re-
solved that she should be, if possible, the
fountain head of the new race to which all
their traditions taught them they were
working up. They determined that she
should wed the Prince d'OuIang 0utang.
The Duke proposed the matter to the
Prince
"Awl" said the Prince, as he adjusted
his eye-glass, sis it nice q
'She is very beautiful" replied the
Duke.
"Aw!" said the Prince, "give it--aw-
much stamps!"
Il shall give her all Ethiopia, replied
the Duke.
81 will -aw-step down and--aw- look
at it, murmured the Prince, carelessly.
"By surprise, you know.
This was agreed upon and the Duke de-
parted.
The Prince knew his worth; he was
quite white, and he was not troubled
with the slightest particle of caudal APP
pendage, but Ethiopia was big prize and
| he resolved to win it.
One week after the Duke had offered
his daughter, the Prince started for Sene-
gambia with the intention Of looking at
the fair face of Lady Adeliza.
CHAPTER III.
The Prince was wandering through the
woods Of Senegambia, gaily humming
''d be butterfly
Born in bower"
when his eyes fell upon lovely chimpan-
zee, sitting in a shallow brook, sucking
cocoanut. She was the lovliest creature
he had ever seen. His heart was touched
at once. He raised his eye glass and
stared at her until his eyes fell in modest
confusion.
"Fair cnimpanzee, said he, will you
not--aw-tell me your-aw-name!
"Adeliza, whispered she.
The Duchess de Chimpanzee, who had
witnessed the meeting from behind
clump Of bushes, ;huskled, and slid off on
her left ear.
"Adeliza," sighed the Prince, "thou
are beautiful Wilt thou-aw-
marry me p
The Lady Adelza threw the remains
of her cocoauut at the head Of chimpan.
zee who was loafing in neighboring tree,
fell into the arms Of the Prince, and
gently murmured, 81 am all thine
They were married in great splendor.
The Right Rev. Bishop Balloon, assisted
by the Rev. Simiadar Ape, performed the
ceremony. The choir sang that lovely
anthem, monkey married the baboon's
sister," Lady Adeliza and her parents
rubbed noses, and then the bride started
on her tour on an elephant with one
trunk.
CHAPTER Nv.
The seasons changed; summer lapscd
into autumn, autumn into winter, and
winter into spring. Then there was great
rejoicing, for the Lady Adeiza gave the
Prince an heir. The child, however, was
an anomaly in that region; it had no
tail, il had fat feet, il had white skin
it had no hair on its body. All the wise
men examined it. Ii was not an ourang.
outang, it was not ehimpanzee evident.
ly il was a new species. Then a family
conclaye was called.
"What shall we call il p asked every.
body.
The Duchess dc Chimpanzee, who was
languidly making mud pies, said