The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1875-09-17

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gsse.s v Fls~~~ee--s No" NAst--@ Why.
they've ,~~a tr,l~.l IN cold water. s'eelila
@ilavr I not offered yoa -v~ry aavAn.
'ns~f" .sla 4 dnsing father 10 htr ~ca. 90
y.a Y" ,~rl1~i ,he youth shul ca.ld moi
think II taking advantages Il my father.
A lazy chap wns ls,iM, In ,.~.l cn~ mary.
Ing. when man. stetgdng In. sAil, ~Ioe,
in~akfa-, i coming un."--s LIT II com-,"
exrlnlm~h Is~ Nth : lnpk vi defiance. I'm
moi afraid II H."
An Indiana farmer saw q man tearing
dawn his rail fence and hailed him 10 know
the t~a-nn. The r~lay was, that he MAS
suddenly s.is.'i with The shAkea, and WAs
holding on ~ frnv Tor support.
A young man IN California i~gan n real
n paragraph aiou, min. 10 hir swe~'hear
commencing. "iuba mime" when she In.
terrnr,cd him with Il don't car~ II 10.
John"
"Ahl" said \ teacher. sah. Caroline
JONES. what la you think yon would have
been without Your Hod father and pious
mother Z" II suviu~~, mum, ~ I should
ha hccn hor1,han."
IL held Tho old abr, N ~ ne neck h~foS
discxrding II FOREVER, hut ha wasn't MOURN
ing for Is. garment. ii. only smii. Il wish
had Ill TIA DRINKS again that hare 9uus
through that old neckhAnd."
An awkward man. attempting 10 carve .
Roc~a. drorl~d u on thu noor. .Ther~
now I" exclaimed his vita, ~w~'ve lost our
dUner," -Oh no, my dear" answered he
It's safe, have Not my foot on Il I"
~You must not play In thu str~~, with
thc hoyr now. my dear, you si~ seven
years oll." snid An old lady 10 her little
grand daughter. sRnt grandma" wa. tho
innocent reply, "the older ! grow. the better
like the hoys."
H~cnc In comrt.---Re~dy individual A.
TWlIvEsNt IHT WtcIts NANetltWN IN vNW ItWttsNv~~
MD you steal tie complainant coat L p,ir-
osity of Tim public by answering that In
tersogntory."
A man went homo iho either evening, and
found hIs hn,i@e lMk-h ,tp Getting In ~
The window with considerable difficulty. he
found ON n table note from his wife /
have gone a,t you will lind The door key
on ono r,lc II Tho door ster.'
One of our adopted citizens seeing
bunch IT bananas the other day, siood III
silrn, uS'nniahmrnt FIR nhout 4 minute and
then hrake nut .BeEnrrn. them Ysnks
heats thu devil. and now they nail pickles 10
sltirk."
lila homer al thu rolir~ court, wanted h
nre Il l,ay NJ \ Witness thu other day. anil
Ii. inquired. IIni,, do you know what an
aaih isI" sYes, sir.e replied the hoy |,
"fa'her's mud '~m ever sinec ] can ~
nenlmr!"
~ ciIrrnn. flon os,e occasion, where No
haI lain dawn some points which did not
lind fa,nr In the eyes of the presiding
judge, IF that he Law" said Lord Glare 10
cn,TNn, may ~ we'll burn my hooks"
Hotter reRtl them. my lord"
A rising sam" Henry lec. dill yon IVA,
ypl,r poor .l,l moihsr I" asked the court 81
Il hoy NJ sixteen mo. sir. and she liz. "
shc said did," answered the lmy. .11.A,'s
right Hurry. always speak M promptly"
trlsli~sl the court. @l'tl make II ATTY days
for your vsrsnrtne~A."
An exquisliely dressed young gentleman.
afler huying another real 10 dMngi. about
hin pr,~os.. said 10 tho jsw~llsr that h~ would
like--AA. like ~ hHvr--Ah. something IN.
grAv~d on i,--Mh---so denote Whit hs VIVA.
Certainly said The ts~sllsr, III put
cipher On IT,
The toy who answered the question In
geography. .What N the shMI,s III the
world 4" ~ answering, Round lIkr :
liirk," hn4 grown Mp Into ! reckle~e man,
and ~tlIts the Fort Ns,ott Monitor. Recently
~ lMint~sl al about thr centennial ri the
l,atlls fought II Lexington, Kentucky.
A bunpkin once dining With TN dov-
~rnm III khols island, ~h~W part n thu
en,~rininM~nt consisted III champagne and
preserved liin~e, WA asked NJ the rnnrlu
,dnn Us his host how M liked his dinner.
.Wcll, ni,vner, your cider u very good,
but darn your pickles
.wNisM II tl,is spring chlck~nI Most
remarkable fowl ] ever attempted m Assault.
uron." sier, sirl nts~ spring chicksn /,
nothing els~ ri this establishment. Don't
you reo sir. u springs up every time you
nv 10 nut knife lnlnitf" Customer real
la. eh.. Aud fact (. a,,L nftsr " hrlf t.snarss