The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-07-23

TIE basest fraud on earth l. agriculture.
The deadliest isais tafnus that.cver glitter
cd "a beguile and dazzled 20 betray /, agri-
culture. speak with feeling on this sub
iect, for I've been glittered and leguiled
and dazzled and destroyed by this same
arch deceiver.
She has made a thou ssnd promises and
broken every one OF them.
She has promised me early potatoes, and
the rain has drowned every one of them
late potatoes, and the drought has wither-
ed them.
She has promised me summer squashes.
and the worms have eaten them winter
squashes, and the bugs have devoured
them.
She has promised cherries, and the cur
culio has stung them, and they contain liv-
ing things. uncomely 10 the eye and un-
savory To the taste.
She has promised Strawberries. and the
Young chickens have devoured them, and
the eye cannot see them.
She has romised tomatoes, and the old
hens nave encompassed them.
No wonder Cain killed his brother. He
wa a tiller OF the ground. The wonder
j. he didn't kill his father, and then weep
because he didn't have a grandfather to
kill. No doubt his Early Rose potatoes,
for which he had paid Adam 81 barrel.
had been cut down by bugs from the head
waters Of Euphrates. His Pennsylvania
wheat had been winter killed. and wasn't
worth a ting. His Norway oats had
gone TO straw. and would not yield five
pecks per acre, and his black spanish
w~atermelons had been stolen by boys,
who had pulled up the vines, broken
down his patent picket fence, aud
written scurrilous doggerel all over his
back gate. No wonder he felt mad when
he saw Abel whistling along with his fac
French msrinoes, worth IS a head. and
wool going up every day. No wonder hc
wanted To kill somebody, and thought
he'd practise on Abel.
And Noah's getting drunk was notat all
surprising. He had become a husband
man. He had thrown away magnificent
opportunities. He might have had a
monopoly of any profession or business.
Had he studied medicine, there would O
have been another doctor within a thou .
sand miles 70 call him ''quack - and every
family would have bought a bottle OF
"Noahs Compound Extract of Gopher
Wood and Anti-Deluge syrup As a
politician he might have carried his own
ward solid, and controlled two-thirds OF
~ - NV ~ tftAN 0VhN ~ ~
lawyer, he would have been retained Il,
every case tried at the Ararat Quarter
Sessions, or the cid Ark High Court of
Admiralty. But he threw away all these
advantages and took To agriculture. For
a long time the ground was so wei he
could raise nothing but sweet flag and bull
rushes, and these at last became "A drug I'm
the market. What wonder that when at
last he did get half "A peek Of grapes that
were not stung TO death by Japhet's hon
ey-bees he should have made wine and
drowned his sorrows in a FLOWING
BOWL
The fact is, agriculture would demora-
lie a saint. 1 was almost a saint when |
went int Ii. I'm a demon now. Pm AT
war with every thing. | fight myself "a
of bed AT 4 O'Clock, when all my better ma
ture tells me TO lie still till Z. / fight N.Y.
self into the garden to work like "A brute.
when reason and instinct tells me 10 stay
in The house and enjoy myself like a man.
l fight the pigs, the chickens. the moles,
the birds, the bugs. the worms-every
thing in which is the breath of life. | fight
the docks. the burbocks. the mulleins, the
thistles. the grapes. the weeds, the roots
the whole vegetable kingdom. ] fight the
universe. and get whipped In every battle.
| have no more admiration TO waste on
the father Of George Washington for for
giving the destruction of his ~cherry-tree.
A cherry tree Is only a curculio nursery,
and the grandfather OF his country knew
IL. have halt a dozen cherry-trees, and
the day my young George Washington i
six years old III give him a Ratchet and
tell him 10 down with every cherry-tree
on the place.-C~Hetn,aati Tunes.