Richland beacon., 1875-01-23

IL oin ebC WY ldCI tuaS pO U.s.
the role of the defender" OF the
Committee and the Address. whereas
in all modesty and decornm 1t was
his province to stand back, and hear
what the Chairman had to say first. |
But not so, argued Mr.. Thunderer
IL must unsheathe my sword; | must
reap some of the glory as "Defen-
der of the Faith Then -
The good old man, too eager in dispute,
Flew high and as his christian fury rose
Damned all for heretics, who'd oppose
But as Mr.. Hemler objects so vehe-
rently to the title of Jupiter, the
Thunderer, l suppose | will have to
remove his crown, and call him Vulcan,
who, your readers will bear in mind,
was kicked out of Heaven by Jupiter,
for his impcrtinent intermedding, and
by his fall was permanently lored.
Now, as Mr.. Hemler complains of
being lame, conceive the title to be
very appropriate. Therefore as /,
Jovc, have kicked Mr.. Hemler out of
the Heaven of Newspaperdom, so
will condemn him under the most
stringent Labor Laws" such as those
adopted by the Committee, to be my
blacksmith, and forge my thunder
bolts, just as Jove did Vulcan. I'm
der this programme. won't Mr. Hem
Ter fight? Now won't he froth and
foam, and verify the language of a
Gel tain Poet:
Here's large mouth, indeed
That splits forth death, and mountains, rocks
and seas,
Talks as familiarity Of roaring lions,
AS maids of thirteen do, Of turPy dogs"
WHAT A PICTURE
OF rage, fury and beliggerent ire, this
same old lame Captain" presents !!
Listen. o, Heavens, and give ear,
thou Earth, as he strides to the head
of the column, and thunders out bis
august commands: Right about,
ye kingdoms; into line We planets and
suns; forward, thou Universe, TO the
charged! Do you call this an hyper
bole? Well. So be it; for | assure
you, my readers, that it takes all of
this to fill the height and depth and
capaciousness of this old mans self
conceit. /, also, have been informed,
that Mr.. Hemler prides himself upon
bis polemic powers dares old Theo-
logians to break lance with him,
upon controverted points in christian
doctrine and practice: But, my
readers will say. what has this to do
with Labor and Capital, Patrons of
Husbandry," etc.? Just nothing at
all! Yet, these remarks are just as
pertinent to the subject under dis
cussion, as Mr.. Hemler's sneers at
my being q pulpit essayist," a
principal of an Academy" could
possibly be! "Those who live in
glass houses should never throw
stunes,"i is an adage that Mr.. "Vul.
can" should bear well in mind, lest
6 in 'plucking the beam out of my eye
be may leave the mote in bis OWL
eye.' As for myself, I have no objec
ton to a little Attic salt" in a con-
, troversy of this kind; and l assure
Mr.. Hemlcr, ih;t if be bears with
equanimity the epithets and personal
/, hits, tht la can b,stow uDon hin,
|, will never murmur at bis pOintles:
= thrusts, or bis feeble borrowed sar.
casms.
MP. HEMLER AS A SPONGE.
3 This is evident, Messrs. Editors
, from the fact that he asks you fol
> space to review tie add e-s of the
Beuf River Council of Patrons o
} Husbandry"; when, forsooth, Ibis
duty had already been better done
r than he could do it, by the Chairuan
? of the Committee; then dovotes ont
third of his space to special review
of my former articles. The fact is
, Mr.. Hemler's intellectual engine
t travels on the marrow guage" track
; and in bis anxiety to hit "Laboratus,
be forgot that he only asked you fol
? space to review the Address. Tht
+ scatttr gun suits more marksmen thar
5 one, if the reader will only read ant
consider.
: 1T is STRANGE
: That, if my original criticism, ant
] my subsequent replies, were so ''isme,
] 40 "impotent," SO full Of false reason
| ing" consisting of "demagogic ap
peals" to the ignorant few 'an ex
traordinary batch O. misrcpresenta
r tons; | say that it is strange that j
0 has required full ten or twelve col
}. umns Of your valuable paper, Messrs
h Editors, to set the matter in its prope
4 light before the world! 1t is passing
!. strange, that so much ink and pape
. and intellectual wind should hav'
!. been exhausted in defense of "seli
o evident facts" as be styles them
I "Selfevident facts" (truths would b.
v bettcr) need no defence; nor can the,
be refuted, and are as plain as tw'
and two makes four. Hence, If thes'
facts" (truths) alluded to by MI
Hemler, "are selfevident," why doe
!. he not let them stand up before al
j intelligent public by their own in
t herent force? All! that's the rub
0 the fear is that they will not be equal
I y "selfevident" TO all.
INTIMIDATION: AND THREATS!
}. Public gossip reports various ant
!. sundry threats against "Laboratus'
because be had the temerity to crit
i else Paper submitted to the public
| fnr their annruyal or rejection