The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-03-18
Wit and HumOr.

A BAD habit to get into-A coat that Is
not paid for.
THE time to be good to the poor is the
"present time.
SLEEPING-CAR conductors are entirely
carried away with their business.
A GEORGIA editor was bitten by dog,
GO being evidently mistaken for bone"
THERE is nothing so exhaustive to the
nervous forces as going down church
aisle in pair of new boots.
How TO tell whether a man is father:
If you can see him at all he is apparent,
but the far)ther he is the less apparent
he will be.
OLD DIR. Mason used to say " that as
much grace as would make John saint
would barely keep Peter from knocking
man down.
Two BOYS" Ny father is in the Gus
tom-House.' " Mines in the station
house" "My father can keep on steal
ing and yours can't"
IT is rule of etiquette in Arkansas
that no true gentleman will eat with his
leg thrown over the back of his neigh
boris chair, if he can help it.
THERE is scarcely any evil without its
bright side. A recent storm in Greene
county blew down a tree which nearly
killed a sewing machine agent.
WHAT sort of grammar is that which
compels man to say, g I saw four deer
in one Drove" but won't let him say
"There are ten hog in the garden"
In Nevada, a contemplative Digger
Indian sat watching party of baseball
players, who seemed to him to be work
ing very hard. Turning to one Of them
he asked " How much you get one
day."
"WHo dares to spit on this car foor?"
asked a burly passenger on Mobile
train. I dare, . quietly replied a slen-
der youth; g and did it. g You're the
chap Pm looking for said the ruffian;
&c give me q chaw."
A MAN who won't complain, says the
Milwaukee Sentinel, when his wife crawls
out about midnight and takes the heav-
lest comforter off the bed to wrap
around her plants, is lacking in all the
noble qualities Of free agent.
A CoLoRED patient at Taunton to his
physician Doctor, I'm ies' dredful;
I've had the feuring in my hip, and q
sore on the roof Of my tongue; I've put
on a mustard alteration and goggled my
mouf, but it done me no good.
COME to us, spring, beautiful spring;
We are weary of ice and snow;
Fold us within thy OdOrous wing,
Over perfume of May flowers blow.
Batheo in the dewdrOps,
Bring is their fragrance,
The robe of the woodlands,
The lingering sunlight,
Bring us the rivulet's musical flow.
AN enraged traveller writing home from
the far West, says g Descending to the
bar-roonl, [ took my turn at the tin wash
basin with a cake of yellow soap, and
dried myself on musty towel hung ona
broom. A boot-iack and a lean dog oc-
cupied the middle of the floor, the
chairs long ago ceased to be quadrupeds,
discomfort is king, and dirt is prime
minister.
THERE was dog trotting along with
farmers team through Main street, yes
terday. Another dog saw him and
rushed madly after him. Then the first
dog stopped and turned carefully around,
whereupon the second dog also paused
and commenced to gaze abstractedly over
the top of the first dog, and on to the
roofs Of the neighboring buildings. The
first dog then wheeled about and con-
tinued after the team, and the second
dog recovered himself and returned
quietly to the store. -DGabuy Meas.