The Van Buren press., 1875-07-27
Why Did Mr. Gimp Hang himself.

Mr.. Glimp left home at 7 o'clock in
the morning with large lot Of bills
| HIS step was elastic, for hope, the an
chor of the stimulated him to ac
| tive locomotion. Ho returned about 4
p. IN nut alas how changed! His
manly frame was bent, his boots were
white with dust; his arms hung dang
ling as if they were beneless; his face
was haggard. aud his brow corrugated
with care. Everything about him was
changed except the bills. They remain
ed in statu quo. His wife and lovely
daub hters had been out shopping that
day, and he hadn't more than entered the
house before they gathered round him
with their purchases. One had a new
spring hat; another had nineteen yards
Of alpacca; another pair of new shoes
with bow and silver buckle on the in
step and quite an assortment of fluff
and flummery, and rainbow ribbons and
such, were lying upon the sofa He gazed
upon them, heaved sigh of considera-
bic size. groancd, and asked if they had
any dinner for him, They said no, but
that there were some cold beans in the
safe. He went for the beans. Then he
stretched out upon pallet and thought
of one thing and another, especially of
his expenses, the disposition of some
people, and the general depression in ba
sness.
w hem ! said one Of the girls seated
at the window, There goes the Swopes
in fine turnout. Why cant we have a
carriage?
We might, said the mother, if the
head Of the house had any get.up and
energy about him
A deeper shade Of sadness swept
across the husbands face as he heard
this remark
Dingle dinslc dingle,' went the bell;
the door was opened, and man entered.
bowed and said | am agent for a very
valuable work which wish you to ex-
amino
Is it romantic work 2 asked one of
the girls eagerly,
Yes, maam-semi historic and high
ly romantic, viyidly portraying the vicis-
STUDIES of two lovers in high life. The
hero Of the story wore long, curly hair,
yellow, leather boots, and played sweet
ly upon the guitar. Tho title of the work
is Love Triumphant or the Travellers
Struggles, and Exploits of Don Guzzel-
10, the Artful Manipulator of the Span
ish Goadolo.'
We Mtsr have itr exclaimed the
daughters in chorus, looking round at
their father with glanc, that signifed
Shell out now
Sir said Mr.. Gimp TO the aBeht,
you are wasting your time, i haven't n
dollar, and can't collect one. | cannot
and will not subscribe for the book
The agent gave him contemptuous.
whitening look, and departed, muttering
something about his opinion Of man
who had no soul etc, The girls pouted
and almost wept. Mrs Gimp looked
sour, for moment, and then proceeded
to remark
Life is burden to every one in this
house except the head OF the family. He
never makes one single, solitary effort to
make home happy Here we have to sit
aud hold our hands from morning till
night We can't have carriage. not
even book. We must sit here in igno
rance--life is a blank
! think that blank might be filled up
said Mr.. Gimp, by reasonable amount
Of house work l haven't a shirt or a
pair of pants with full complement of
buttons thereon
This was like spark of fire to mag
aHinc, They turned upon the weary man
and poured in voley after voley of sea
thing, wonnding words They tongue.
lashed him till he got up and left the
house He was found, next morning, in
the wood shed, suspended by his suspen
ders--dead as a door nail! The coroner
held an inquest upon the body, but nei
ther the gref-stricken family nor intelh.
gent jury could give any cause for his
rash act, aud it still remains mystery.