Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-01-15
Bnmorous shsttges.

and asked His Honor to appear at certain
house on Macomb street at certain hour
tina. evening and weld two hearts together.
1.-THE Court'' said he'd be on time, and he
was, but he found the lover looking discon-
solate and the brides mother looking flush
ed and annoyed.
Isn't this the place where | was to come
and unite two sympathetic souls 2 inquir-
cd MIR. Potter in an anxious voice, thinking
he might have made mistake.
you see, III tell you how ii is cX-
planned the old lady. Betsy James young
and foolish, and she's afraid some one will
make fun of her if she gifts married :
His Honor thought it was rather strange,
and went of, feeling about as blue as the
lover felt. Wednesday morning John
Quincy entered Justice alley again to tell
Mr.. Potter that he could come up to the
house that evening, and that there wouldn't
be any backing out again.
It's dead sure, is it 2 asked His Hon.
or.
You can bet on il, replied John Quin-
cy bet hundred TO one.
His Honor was on hand again al the ap-
pointed hour, and he found the lover and
the mother looking as sad as before. The
girl herself was concealed behind the door,
and as soon as Potter entered, the mother
pulled the door back so as 10 expose the
hider, and exclaimed
Now, then, Judge, look at her--look at
the big BOBBY, and see what a fool she is
making Of berself.'
The girl made a skip and jumped under
the centre table. and from thence shouted
back:
Il hain't any more of fool than you are,
and you know il j.
Then why don't you come out and get
married y asked the parent.
DO you s'pose / want TO be made fun
Off squeaked the daughter.
After awhile the justice put in his voice
telling the girl that i: was the lot of woman
to marry ; that she'd live happy life, and
that it wouldn't take two minutes to lie the
knot.
Come, Betsy Jane = called the mother
Come, my own love = pleaded John
Quincy.
Come, my dear girl ) added the Justice,
raising the table-spread and extending his
hand.
'Oh, 60 away!' she sobbed, hands over
her face, go away and leave me here to
die / can't bear to think of githn' jined
and leavin' mother'
They coaxed and pleaded and scolded,
but Betsy Jane was firm, and she was still
resting under the table when his Honor
eft. John Quincy put on his hat and
walked down the street piece, and when
Potter remarked that he guessed there
wouldn't be any marrying in that house,
the young man responded
That's what think, and | wouldn't
turn my hand over if knew that buzz
saw was a-coming SLAP for me. .'-Detroa
F,,c Press.
A POOR but honest Teulon unwittingly
created no little excitement and alarm in
New York tramway car not long ago. The
correspondent of Boston Journal shall ex-
plain how this occurred. He writes -
'One Of our railroads runs by the County
Buildings. The other day the conductor
was collecting fares from a crowded load.
A foreign person, poorly dressed, handed
up his money. In answer to the question,
DO you go through (Which means, DO
you go beyond the city line ?-he said, 4
have got de small pox, doc = Have you
got the spa!l-pox ? said the astonished
conductor. Yes have got dc smallpox,
doO.' The passengers rose to their feet
women screamed, and the excitement was
intense. Come. get ont of this car; you
can't ride here + said the official. The
unfortunate German made for the front
platform. lie was hustled out Of the car,
and nearly pitched headlong on TO the
pavement He recovered himself. and
started for the front Of the car. The driver
took the car-hook and threatened TO brain
lin if he got on. The poor fellow kept up
with the horses, shouting, III go; give me
my small pox. > pointing TO small two
foot-square chest standing on end behind
the driver. The mystery was explained.
The honest German wanted TO pay for bis
small box on the car as well as his own
fare. The conductor apologized, ard a
seat was offered the man. But he had
enough of that company. He refused all
invitations tn ride, shouliered his small
pox,' and trudged away on foot
nE SCALPED HER.-Yesterday while
the gale was at its height curious acci-
dent occurred on Union street. A nobby-
looking Chinaman, was walking behind a
young lady dressed in the extreme agony
Of fashion, when a sudden gust of wind
blew the Celestial's tail forward and wrap
ped the end of it around the lady's neck.
Being frightened she grabbed the end of
the queue to snatch it away but she pulled
in the wrong direction. The Chinaman
also made grab 20 recover his property.
but he was out Of luck as he got hold of
one Of those long curls which are usually
seen hanging down from waterfalls, rs well
as of his queue, and when he took q pull
at il the whole Of The lady's top hair, hat
and all came of. The lady's head had no
hair on it only little that was into a small
knot that stood erect like the scalp.lock Of
Pipte brave. nerer saw a ChiGaman
astonished at what he had done, it was
that one I'iIqiaja City Nec.) Enterprise.
THE late DIR. 'Blackhead' Martin, Of
Nashville, Tennessee-so called 20 distin-
guish him from another DIR. Martin who
had light hair-besidcs being n frst-class
physician Of the old school, was a great
waq, as well as an intense and bitter
Henry Clay Wing, and hated Democrat
worse than poison. 0Je day the Doctor
was discussing politics in the saloon of one
of the Nashville hotels, which by the way,
was the favOrite pastime when not profes-
sionally aged, when he suddenly stopped
=. l.;