The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1875-05-18
eMisreAa,,n.
A SchOOlmaSter Around Loose.

A SchOolmaSter Around Loose.
Warm on the BOys-.A Lively Elk.
animation .-SOlid on the
.. Rudiments.
Four OF five days ago man about
forty years of age, looking as if he
had been drawn over dusty floor
for an hour or two, called upon one of
the members of the Board of Educa-
ton, and introduced himself as William
Cannon Harrison, OF Saginaw County.
He was politely received, and he com
menced business promptly by saying:
"I'm a-looking for a situation as a,
school teacher"
"Ha, hap replied the member, won
dering why the man wasn't looking for
a woodpile.
81 could have brought pile of re-
commends so high" continued the man,
measuring with his hands, ''but recon
mends don't amount to nothing
"And have you any school in view ?"
asked the member. s
~ want to get in here, in Detroit" +"
replied the man. "What wages do you
|pay2"
"Tm afraid-" began the member,
when the schoolmaster interrupted:
"Oh, well, s'pose you pay going va
ges,and that's all can ask for. I don't
want to put on style and live high,as Tn
getting leetle old, an6 ought to save
money"
GAS 1 was going to remark. said
the member, when the schoolmaster sud-
denly inquired:
"Do they allow licking in the schools
here2 II they do, I'm the man they
want to dress the boys down! I've had
'em come for me by the dozen, and it
would do your heart good to see the way
! laid 'em! Why, when / had that
school in Bay County I thought nothing
of licking thirty scholars a day, besides
hearing twelve classes recite! I'm an
old screamer, I tell you, and there's fun
in me when you get me woke up!'
81 hardly think" commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up and said:
"Of course you won't take me unless
/ pass examination, but l amt afraid Of
not passing I'd like to see word !
couldn't spell! For instance, 'Catarrh: ):
Cat a-r-r.h, catarrh' 'Dandelion:' >
'D-a nd ,e.l-i-on, dandelion,' or try me
on words of four syllables. 'Lugubri-
ous:' L-u-gu.b-ri-o-u-s, lugubrious.'-
Oh! I can knock the socks right off n
these swell-head teachers and not half
tryr' ~
81 should like to helpyou," put in the
member, "but-"
"Oh! you needn't think I'm behind
on geography" interrupted the teacher.
"For instance: What is an isthmus2 An
isthmus is narrow strip of land con-
Meeting two larger bodies. Is the world
round or fatp Ronnd. Why is it
round? Because it is. Which is the
largest river in the world? The Anna
zon. Which is the highest mountain ?
The Andes. | might go on for seventy
five days in this way, and then not tell
you half know!"
"You seem pretty we'll posted in ge-
ography, but as / wanted to tell"
"And on grammar, toor' exclaimed
the teacher jumping up again. "What
is noun? A noun is the name of any
person, place or thing. Give US an ex-
ample: Man, dog, cat, coon, goat, jack
knife, fish hook, gate. post. What are
the principal conjunctions ? And, as,
both, because, for, if, that, or, nor, nei-
ther, either, and so forth, and so forth.
Oh, I'm right on the roof of the meet
ing-house when you sling grammar at
me" s9a.4f
The member was getting desperate,
and as soon as be could get in a word
he said: II
81 will take your name, and as soon
as vacancy"
"And l know arithmetic from cover
to covert exclaimed the man standing
up again. II can go through the tables
like lightning through haystack, and
when you get to fractions and cube root
I'm awful weigh ton and half anG
still growing! .Rithmetics my fav orite
study, and I'll give you fifty dollars tc
end man who'll saw sums in two and
plane 'em down as quickly as l can"
His speech took the wind out of him
and the member managed to say there
was no vacancy at present, but he would
take his name and consider his case a:
soon as one occurred.
"Pd like to commence right off, re
fplied the man, "but I'm willing to wait
Here's my name, and the mint l ge
your letter I'll come down a-Hying. l
you get me you don't get much style
but you get solid old common sense ant
genuine education. You won't see schol
ars playing hide.aud coop around tn,
wood-box or marbles on the foor-no
you won'tr'