The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1875-11-18
WHOLE NO. Il.

ers could be seen lot Of the..smaller fry land
railroad employees.
A funereal silence rested on the group. 1At
length the Hastinrs postmaster reared his noble
form aloft and said:
"Boys, TINS Is solemn assemblage. The
last time we met our hearts were filed with
hope. We thought we had the d-d Irish
ous'' defeated sure. But, boys, eve,. green
backs have their lin its. The d-d Irish and
Dutch were too smart for us; they didn't di-
vide worth cent; and the Republican farmers
voted for '.the little pestiferous," and we are
scooped-badly scooped. The Republican
party in this county is busted. and the Peo-
ple's party is played out Boys, my hesrt is
too full for words,- let's likker."
This p OPPOSITION elected round of applause.
Mr. Davitt's face lighted up, and each particu-
phosphorescent glare as he led the Hosts Of Re-
form to the bar.
This important and necessary performance
being over, the Major resumed the floor:
"Boys," said he, 81 have received . most
| important communication, and have called
you together to deliberate upon it." He then
read the telegram and concluded with this
question: "WhO shall be the candidate r.
| Scarcely had he uttered these words when
scene followed which beggars description;
such . scene Is in the old time happened when
the apple Of discoru was flung in among the
bedlam of noises broke forth.
"Asif men fought upon the earth, and fiends
in upper ali. !"
Zach man seized his neighbor and howled.
Into the midst of this scene Of confusion rushed
3 red-headed man from Hastings, who in
high falsetto voice, demanded the Office for
himself. Charley Baker seized him hy the
coat-tails, dragged him to the ground, and
mounting bench was heard to say something
l ahnut tsSil.onalar ,, and stinoipO his ~ ri
Tod got around behind Kennedy, and in
stage whisper wanted to know chow much
money there was III t?' BY this time Jim
Chewing had butted Charley Baker off the
bench, and was proceeding in an excited man
ner to set forth his own qualifications tor the
place, or in fact for any place, when Mike
Lynch hit him b tween wind and water and
brought him down in a collapsed attitude.
"B'ys," said Nike, mounting the rostrum,
! the man that is to 60 is Seagrave Smith, and
can lick any ID scoundrel that says no."
This was clncher. There was lull in
the tempest, but mutterings Of discomfort still
continued.
: "B'ys" said Mike, s'if you don't send him
he will run every year for something. and
where will the rest Of yees he theni'
THIS settled it. Mike, like practiced tac-
tician, saw his opportunity. "Walk ups
b'ys," he said, :" and drink at Seagrave's ex-
pinse, or at the expinse Of the railroad, which
9 Is the same thing"
There was whoop and rush for the bar and
: all was peace again; save that the d-headed
. man and retired butcher were still arguing
the matter out in corner, with their hands in
Q each others hair.
: This little unpleasantness having adjusted
: itself, the next question was how was Seagrave
t to go to Bungtown. The Major insisted
! that the people Of the county would not per.
. init him to leave the county;-they would
) cling to him as Lady Russell c[ung to her hus-
band when he was about to be led to execu-
Y ton. "And besides" said the Major, point
. : ing to where Sea9rave and Mr.. Davin stood
:, smiling in each others faces, at the bar, with
= bland and dreamy eyes, .'you perceive that
. seagraves feelings have already overcome him.
8 If you started him for Bungtown, he might,
by the force of old associations, turE up at st.
! Cloud: No, boys, we must ship him!"
A large dry-goods box was procured.
: Seagnvs was ienderly lifted into the
y middle of it, and the work OF packing him
D commenced. In each corner was placed Z
2 demijohn. Emery packed around the demi-
johns lot Of tracts to prove that there was no
God, but that there was an Emery the next
best substitute. He enjoined Seagrsve, - be
is when he reached Bnngtown; and by all means
d to avoid thres-card monte games, ''svsn when
: you feel sure Of cheating til. gamblers ont Of
I, their money, for" said he, with the best will
i in the world you fail sometimes, and then the
= game becomes Immoral and you have to call IN
tions in silence, and winled one eye like .
wise old bald4headed Hindoo god.
Here there was an upr0ar. Some one had
Il taken out the demijohn which supported Sea-
grave in the rear, and carried it OF. "Zamiu
billtod" muttered the astute 6eagraye. Sure
street with the demijohn, with Patt Dsvitt,
Peter Flicker. Mike Mullaney, ana all the resl
!. Of the Temperance party in the rear There
= !. was many wet eve and watery lip in thai
= great Reform party as Kennedy tenderly re-
!. placed the deiniiohn behind Hea9rave's spinal
: column, and formed guard aYoand the dry
: goods box, each member Of which suspicious
= ly watched the other. Peregrine Perkins lbers
pitched into Seagrayes lap 4 bag of crackers,
> which act was viewed with ill-concealed con-
tempt by the crowd; crackers were not in theil
y. line. The remaining vacant places in the bon
y were filled up with old numbers OF the Hast
), ings Union and Hastings Gazette, 20 mixed IN
= together that you couldn't tell which w
which;--an iDefabe flavor Of the Tod family
: pervading the whole mass
4 At length the time came 70 nail up the box,
= = some air-holes havirg previously been borsd
Z in the lid. 1t was SD sight, thu leave
!, taking, and ths tears and the whisky flowed IN
= one cOmminglsd stream.
s; "Seagrzve," laid the Major, his voice husky
= with emotion, III you aren't elected CONS
q back to u.s."
z 81 wiIlboysiwilI," !" replied SeaQraye.
"Seagrave, ''said Nike Lynch, iii ye are de-
feated in the convention, mind ye, bust tl,s
= fellow that beats ye."
Y A wild glare came into Seagrave's dull eyes
! ~ hs rrplisd. "fog bst-hic- yerbottomdol~
!, la1IwiiL"
= The lid was placed on the box and the irst
!, nail half driven when Seagrave pushed the lid
y up and half arose, with look of terror on his
q handsome features:
'sMaiU, /" said he. sig -is--D -Donneily- --llic--
z In he in Bungt,rn'''
= aNo," replied the Major.
"Then nail aTar, /" said 5eagrzve, as beeank
Z back peacefully among the demijohns.
The railroad company carried the box free.
Z And 70 our great man has left n; and the
! people of Dakota county, Ike Rachel Of Old.
4 "mourn and win not BE- comsorted'3
But God help Bungtowns
I'll Yours truly,
: snzzs