The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-26
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

THE devastation wrought by Western
floods NAV be termed the oat-cropping
of disaster.
Mr.. GLADSTONE .-s'Please, M, is
the Church of England worth presery-
mgg" Britannia. a.-''Worth preServ-
ing? Dear me, William, don't you
know it's been in pickle this ever so
long2'-Psnch.
INGENIOUS youth, what makes your
rent so highP'' was asked of A newsboy
whose trowsers displayed an opening
through which the rear portion of his
shirt was visible. ''The high tackses
that 1 sot down on" was the truthful
reply.
MARRIED-In Leavenworth, Kan,
bv the Rev. William Page, Mr.. A. p.
Fondar and Miss Laura Weir.
Now ouakes her heart with Fond alarms,
And fercer burns his passions IRE,
As clasping Laura in his arms,
He thinks he hears an angel K Wier.
The 10th of September is fixed for
the next Adventist scare, but skepticS
think the earth is too wet to burn forsi
months vet. The Adventists had better
do what the earth will not-dry up.
Gas To being conflicted with the
gout," said Mrs. Partington, ''high
living don't bring it on. 1t is incoher-
ent in some families, and Is handed
down from father to son. Mr.. Ham
mer, poor soul, who has been so long
i'll with it, disinherited it from his wife's
grandmother. ="
A Boston schoolgirl of tender years
thus writes to her bosom friend:
s'Dear Susie: | Shant attend school
agin until | Get some new cuffs and col
lars and Jewelry-dear Mama agrees
with me that it is my DoOty to take the
shine out of that UpStart Many Jones,
and III do it if | never learn nothing" ."
THE cynical old bachelor who sneers
at domestic joys, would have the skep-
ticiSm removed from him could he step
inside a domestic circle about dinner
time and see the happy children run
ming their rosy mouths around the luS-
cious roasting ears, each eagerly striv-
ing in an innocent rivalry to have the
most cobs by its plate .-Br1nS1oicber.
A MIDDLE-AGED woman fell rs she
was descending pair of stairs on JEFF
ferson Avenue yesterday, and the first
man to help her reach her feet was
banker who happened to be passing.
''Did you fall, madam?n he inquired rs
he seized her arm. 'Falli OF course
| fell, you fool, you! You don't sup
pose I'd sit down here to rest, do you?"
She snapped. He didn't say.-Detrot
Free Press.
THE London gossips are telling this
story, appropos of Queen Victoria'S
continued seclusion: At the Princess
of Wales's garden party, at which she
was present, the other day, the Queen
accosted distinguished officer and con-
versed affably with him for some min
utes. At last the gallant General re-
marked: 81 am really very sorry,
madam, for being so stupid; | am sure
l have seen your face and remember it
perfectly well, but | cannot remember
YOUR name o."
A MAN who has an office on Griswold
Street was handed bill the other day
by boy employed as collector fora firm.
He looked it over, put his thumb into his
vest pocket, and remarked: ''Come
in Wednesday and L will pay it" The
boy went away, but returned Tuesday
and again presented the bill. 'Didn't
tell YOU to come Wednesday," growled
the man as he looked over the bill.
eyes, sir, but | know of two more col
lectors who are coming for you tO-mOr-
row, and l thought I'd get in ahead. "
The man could offer no further Objec-
tions Detroit Free Press.