The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-02-05
SAYINGS AND DOINGS.
A pOoTOR,s sToKY.

Nhat are yen doing = nv patient crleu'
Frightening death, coolly replied.
"YOu are crazy 2" visitor said
l flung bottle at her head.
Deacon Rogers he came to me;
"Wife il a comm around, said he,
- really think she will worry through;
She scolds me just as she used to do.
All the people have pointed and slurred
All the neighbors have had their word;
Twas better to perish, some Of 'em ray.
Than to be cured in such an irregular way
Your wife " raid I, chad Gods good care,
And his remedies-light, aud water, and air.
All the DOCTORS beyond doubt,
Couldn't have cured Mrs. Rogers without
The deacon smiled and bowed his head;
Then your bill il nothing" ho said.
Gods be the glory, as you say;
God bless you doctor; good day-good day
II ever doctor that woman again,
I'll give her medicines made by men.
A eooD name will wear out; a bad
one may be turned nickname lasts
forever.
IT is better to be alone in this world
than to bring up boy to play on the
accordeon.
A BOOK has been published called
Half Hours with Insects" The au-
thor was not regular boarder-N y
Mail.
A MAN may be properly said TO have
been drinking like n fish when he finds
that he has taken enough to make his
head swim.
JOAQUIN MILLER cut his hair on re-
turning to London, but preserved his
poetic individuality by donning green
pantaloons.
THERE will be two eclipses Of the sun
this year, one on April G, not visible in
the United States, and another on Sep
tember 20, visible east OF tho Missis-
sippi.
THERE is nothing half so sad in life
as the spectacle of an auctioneer at
tempting to sell $4,000 worth Of goods
to an audience whose aggregate and
tangible assets foot up thirty cents.
IT looks little strange TO the Mis-
souri, traveller who knocks at n door TO
have the man open it, push shotgun
out and inquire what's wanted, but IL O
owner Of the shotgun knows his busi-
ness.
SOME physiogomists say that the back
Of man, his head, etc, show his real
self more truly than his face, with its
trained and conscious expression, in
which he seeks to reveal or hide such
parts OF his nature as he secs fit.
THE Titusville Courier says that the
production of petroleum in western
Pennsylvania during the year 1874
would fill canal thirty feet wide at the
top, fifteen feet at the bottom, seven
feet deep and over seventy-fve miles
long.
ORANGES are now raised in such guam
titles, and of such excellent quality,
in the neighborhood Of Galveston,
Texas, that the importation Of the
fruit, it is thought, will shortly cease
at that port.
A BABY boy in Nevada has 10 hair,
and the doctors say he never will have
any. Perhaps the Almighty has
changed the style of getting up the
masculine human in view Of the we'll
known modern propensity Of wemen to
yank something.
THE St. Lawrence county On, YD
dairymen have been discussing the
Ieagth of time a dairy COW should go
dry. After two hours debate 4 vote
was taken, which resulted in n six
weeks vacation for each dairy COW,
with the first of January OF
each year.
RECIPE FOR GLUE FOR READY UsE -
To any quantity Of glue use common
whisky instead of water. Put both
together in a bottle, cork tight, and put
it away for three or foHr days. IL will
then be ct for use without the applica-
ton of heat. 1t will be found n useful
and handy article for every household.
THE Chicago, Rock Island and Pa
cifio railroad company has created
" department of surgery" on their
road. The department will have the
supervision of all cases of injury by
accident, and will attend to the broken
and bruised bodies of the patrons Of
the road. Good idea, but not n cheer
fuI one 70 elaborate.
"a CLERGYMAN suggests ocean i'm
mersion as preferable to cremation IL
saws: Funeral steamers might be
which, proceeding TO a dis.
lance from land, could deposit tho re-
mains beyond the reach of deseoration,
and whence injury could not result to
the living"
CHARLES w. PLUMMER, q Newark
n. j., society-duck, had 10 pay Miss
Grace +. Plummer, a belle Of the same
city, for "hugging her on the parlor
sofa, kissing her every time they met,
and going to sleep on her shoulder"
the net sum of $1,000; but, as this sort
Of thing went on for sixteen months,
the bill was not excessive. Nice girl,
Miss Plummer.
THIS is the way one choir sings the
first verse OF Jerusalem, my happy
home :"
Yp-lu sah-leng, Ywe-lu-sahlong
Dining iih-czTo pan-pe;
Ling-coBg geo kyi-z wo tao
Peh ngo ziu Cyl on-wo?
The choir ~ which we now refer is
of Cinnamon but there are
plenty of American choirs that can sing
it just as badly.
An observing Frenchman thus writes
Of what he saw in this country: In
winter evenings, when there comes up
one of those dense fogs which are 80
common over in America, il is no un-
usual thing to meet in the streets n man
a lantern, which resembles
one Of our magic lanterns. He selects
a frequented spot, and when the crowd
becomes dense around him he turns his
lantern towards the lowering clouds.
At that instant, as if 10y miracle, the by
standers behold in the midst OF the