The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1875-05-27
MARK TWAIN ON SPELLING.

MARK TWAIN ON SPELLING
There was spelling match at the
Asylum Hill Congregational Church,
Hartford, Conn, on Wednesday eve.
ming, and Mr.. Samnel L. Clemens
Mark Twain) being called on for a
few preliminary remarks, spoke as
follows:
s'LADIEs AND GENTLEMEN I have
been hohored with the office of intro
ducing these approaching orthograph-
ical solemnities with few remarks.
The temperance crusade swept the
land some time ago-that is, that vast
portion of the land where it was
needed-but it skipped Hartford.
Now comes this new spelling epidem-
ic, and this time ,Uc are stricken. So |
suppose we needed the affiiction. !
don't say we needed it. for 1 don't see
any use in spelling word right, and
never did. / mean l don't see any
use in having a uniform and arbitrary
way of spelling words. We might as
well make ali clothes alike. and cook
all dishes alike. Sameness is tircsome
variety is pleasing. | nave 4 cores
pondcnt whose letters are alwaysa re-
freshmcnt to me; there is such q
breezy, unfettered originality about
his OrtEography. He always spells
Kow with a large X. Now, that is
just as good as to spell it with & small
one. 1t is better. 1t gives the imag-
ination a broader field, wider scope.
1t suggests to the mind a grand,
vague, impressive, new kind of COW.
Superb effects can be produced by
variasated spelling. Now, there is
Blind Tom, the musical prodigy. He
always spells word according to the
sound that is carried to his ear. And
he is an enthusiast in orthography
When you give him word he shouts
it outputs all his soul into it. l
once heard him called upon to spell
orang -outang before an audience. He
said, go, Rang, orang, ger, ger,
Granger, t-a-n-g, tang, orangger tang
Now, a body can respect an orang-
outang that spells his name in a Wig
orous way like that. But the feeble
dictionary makes mere kitten of him.
In the old times people spelled just
as they pleased. That was the right
idea. You had two chances at stran-
ger then. You knew strong man
from weak one by his iron-clad SPELL
ing, and his handwriting helped you
to verify your verdict. Some people
have an idea that correct spelling can
be taught, and taught to any body
That is a mistake. The spelling fac
ulty is born in man. like poetry, music
and art. 1t is gift; it is a talent
People who have this gift in a high
degree only need to see word in
print once and it is forever photo
graphed upon their memory. They
can not forget it. People who haven't
it must be content TO spell more or less
like-like thunder--and expect to
splinter the dictionary wherever their
photographed lightning happens to
strike. There are Ill, 900 words in the
Unabridged Dictionary. l know a
lady who can spell only 1S0 of them
right. She steers clear of all the rest.
She can't learn any more. So her let
ters always consist Of those constant
Iy recurring 1S0 words. Now ana
then. when she finds herself obliged
to write upon subject which necess-
itates the use of some other words,
she-well, she don't write en- that sub
ject. | have a relative in New York
who is almost sublimcly gifted. She
can't spell amy word right. There is
a game called Verbarium. A dozen
persons are each provided with a
sheet of paper, acress the top of which
is written long word, like kaleido-
scopical, or something like that, and
the game is to see who can make up
the most words out of that in three
minutes, always beginning with the
initial letter of the word. Upon one
occasion the word chosen was Golfer
dam. When time was called every
body had built from five to twenty
words except this young lady. She
only had one word, calf. We all
studied moment, and then said.
s:Why, there is ne in cofferdam!"
Then we examined her paper. To the
eternal homo: of that uninspired, un-
conscious, sublimely independent soul
be it said, she had spelled that word
''caffp Ii any body here can spell
calf any more sensibly than that, let
him step to the freht and take his
milk. The insurrection will now be-
GIN"
He that car keep his temper is bet
ter than he that can keen a carria0e