Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1875-08-04
me WANTED 10 SEE THE prNrlsrra.,


A. A. Carle, former "doyil" iu this Office, af-
terwards 'loca" on the Drookville Js6srsoaida, Is
engaged as such on the Fair Play (colorado)
Ssaiinei, and II seems that he has turned dentist
too from the following which we clip FROM the local
columns Of tha, journal
] iIc walked into our sancium looking as solemn
I as O member Of the Lake County Committee OF
/ Safety, who had Just read the Governors procla-
nation, and as ho sat down on threc.lcggod
stool. he groaned as though he had just returned
/ from the funeral Of the only man from whom he
could ever obtain the loan Of two bits. His left
check was swollen and inaamcd until |, roselnbled
I the smoohesi side Of prize sugar beet his head
was cnyelopcd in about fourteen yards Of red
flannel, and us be blew his nose on u pile OF
manuscript in which We had bemoaned the evils
Of inirnponnce, he asked
ale you the local editor-the man what writ
them pieces about tooth carpenter Z"
We Acknowledged the soit impeachment and
soothingly inquired wherein we might benefit him.
"well, I've heern tell that there was some here,
aud you'd got word from half dozen moro dent
listers that they were coming to pull teeth, and /
thought I'D eomc and ask you which was the bost
one. You sec my teeth are awful hard to get out,
and YOU might as we'll try 10 pull petrined
stump with ishin' line as to get dcntistcr at
em that don't understand his business
"Aro you troubled with the toothaehe 2" we
asked
Narroablcd, mister, Troubled aIni no name for
iti Night pforc last when went to bed that ere
tooth was growln around Kind o. uneasy like,
and knowcd II would give me thunder afore
mornin'. After while went TO sleep and got to
dreamin' that Mankay--the fellow what got up
that salvc, you know-had invented patent pill
machine with seventeen fly wheels and a cross-cut
saw attachment, an that while II was goin' at
the rate Of q million boxes an hour, I'd got my
head mixed up with the wheels, aud then l walked
up to find that tooth just jumpn and rearin'
like a bob-taled maverick 10 hy time. put in
cotton, camphor, iinimont castor oil, eatarrh
remedy, soothin' syrup, yermlfuge and all the
medicine could end around the house, but II
wouldn't STOP, aud is goln' yet oh.h.b, and he
threw out his legs aud arms in paroxym Of
agony. upseliing the pastc-pot aud striking the
devil, who had Just come up after copy, In the
bread basket with sufficient force to knock more
wind out OF him than he has had since he ran the
last foot racc siI...ts .. l.I .foH sf
We are teuder-hcartcd, and thought that por-
haps the promise Of speedy relief might render
tho pain morc endurable, and 80 we proceeded to
console him by remarking alt oat Ia
"Dr, pullembegodoui, d. d. S, d. Q. A. o, Of
the Royal Dental Academy, Of Berlin, has en-
gagged the adjoining room, and will be here to-
morrow Ills instruments have already arrived,
and IL their extent and quality are any criterion
by which 10 judge Of bis proficiency, we can
safely recommend him.
"Mistrr, would you mind lptln Teller see
them instruments, inquired the sufferer.
"Certainly not" we replied, and then we went
downsth and got the monkey wrench, shooting
stick, press wrench, milering saw, a couple Of
side sticks, and lead cutter, and bringing them
up We laid them before. We eNpntiated 10 him
upon their ineness Of temper, and endeavorcd to
explain to him how easy Il would bu to extract
refractory tooth with such instruments, but as ho
turned them over he answered
II don't know about gottin that tooth drawed
yit I've heern that these dentisters can plug up
teeth ~ as they 10 as good as new, and II git Il
drawed my mouih'll look almost as bad as yours
Or 'Tootlcss jacks or else III have to got new
tooth, and that1 cost moren hayin' this'n hlled."
"lhe DR.. has all the Instruments necessary for
Glling teeth" we replied, "wait a moment" and
We went down stairs aud brought up the mallct,
screw driver, cold chisel, rnt-tail iilc handful
of two line English quads,.a somo roller COM
position, We explained 10 him that the instru-
munts were used for Inserting the illing, that the
quads were what was called "hard filing" and
the roller composition "soft filing" aud that he
could have his choice. But he laid them down
sonowiuly and as be pulled Oh the flannel from
MS upper jaw he said
II guess / ~ let il 20 little longer. 1t don't
burt near as bad new as it did when | come here,
and remculber now that grandmother used to
always put falt iu her teeth when they ached, au'
| guess ~ 90 home and try some. Good day,
mister In much Obliged to you for showin' me
them ihings, but 1 don't think them Dutch poo-
PIES teeth Is like our'n for nevyr saw such In.
stfumenis aforc.r
He didn't think he had done any harm, but
Dr. pucmbegodOut lost customer, aud our
readers and lie world lost that briliihnt temper
ancc clluson as the result Of his visit.