The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-12-24
FACTS AND FANCIES.

/ ---DOX. .W0en YOU EAluI VI III -N~-E
bannister of the front hall stairs, and 60
50 fast that it burns You clean through
your trowsers, that's friction.
| When il was rumOred the other day
| that Ben. Butler was dead nobody wept;
indeed, until the rumOr was contradieted
nobody felt like weeping. ~
An exchange remarks, with dah
of pity, that Professor Proctor, has
eleven young ones to pull on his coat
tails when he gets his right eve fixed on
| a heavenly body"
Our lives are albums, written through
With good or III, with false or true,
And as the blessed angels turn
The pages of our years,
God grant they read the good with smiles
And blot the i'll with tears!
The woman is yet to be discovered
who, when her husband is pouring eN-
pletives into the bosom of his clean shirt,
will not sOlemnly declare that the gar
ment had every button on it when it
was put away
= Ny son, said dying grocer to his
probable successor to the business, never
put sand in the sugar. Cherish a repu-
tation for fair and honorable dealings
with your fellow-men, and use terra alba
instead it's quite as heavy and don't
grit OH the teethl"
Once in while a man gets the
starch so thoroughly taken out of him
that it's no use trying. a few days ago
prairie schooner passed eastward
through Peoria. On its canvas cover
was painted in large letters the legend,
Going back to my wife's folks"
ladies, you may friz your hair, do
il up high, let il down low, have 1t hang
ing on yOur backs, scrambled" over
yoar foTeheads, banged into your
ewes. puffed up at the sides, worn water
fall style, tied up in doughnut, or any
other way you may please, and 1t will be
all right-tor fashion says so.
"A female passenger on an Illinois
railroad was kissed by the conductor
and on suing the company for damages
was awarded $1,000. On Louisiana
road another female passenger was kissed
by the brakeman, and WAS awarded $500.
So the law decides that woman kissed
bv an Illinois conductor is damaged just
four times as much as one kissed by a
Lr,Iisiana brakeman. Now let the Hin
ois conductors sue the law for damages,
~ the worlds great castle gate
begaaT cries.
"To wealth and state we open wide,
TO The worldiy.Wisc, in purple pride,
\ voice replleCs
"Aiarki" said she, " fJr the loving heort
And nanght beside
Expeetantat at q hIiqhter gate
The WOrldly-Wisc
Stand waiting by its golden bars,
Till wonderpeaIIs and cleaning stars,
Swing open wide
f'0f her who bring, The loving heart
And Batisbt beside.
A maiden once said I'll not mate
r4ith man who has not fortune great
So sha p0uted and waited, and scorned
TO be mated. she's q maiden yet-age
fortv-eight. tn. Y. Com. Adv. A maiden
once thought, " / can not be bOught-PH
marty a man who j. poor but the man
he crank beer. died driving "keer,
and twelve orphans vent out from her
door. lis better to wait and be aged
forty-eight than to marry the average
mai,; for there's trouble ahead for the
maiden who'll wed the very tJst person
she can.
IT seems chat the practice Of scalp
ing is not peculiar 20 the North American
Indian. An inquiry put forth in Nature
draws out the following information on
the subject: Herodotus mentions That
if was one of the most Characteristic oil
;he ancient Scgthians. 1t is said that
the custom still prevails among the wild
tribe of the frontier IN the northern dls-
trjc. of Bengal. 1nc Friend of India
remarks that the Naga tribes use the
scalping- knife with ierocity that l.
only cquaied by the North American
Indians. and the 7calps arc carefully pre-
served n evidences Of their proves and
vengeance over their enemies. On the
death of their chief all the scalps taken
by him during his warlike career are
II Il
-" We know the public is down on
lis" remarked the old uilkman, as he
dipped out the desired quart from one OF
his big cans ." but the public Is mis-
taken. In the first place, We put IN
leelo water-only bit, to make up, for
sbrinkagc. It gees To the big dealers,
and they amt a bit keerful when they
gits TO pouting in water. They sells II
to the crocers, and they put in chalk
with one hand and water with the other,
and thev are thinking Of politics ana
get in too much. The servant gal goes
after milk for the family, drinks thru
of it, and she puts in water to make up
the measure. And, you sec, when TIE
family gets it, the taste amt there, the
look amt there; and they goes for us
poor men. who hasn't Il dishonest hair IN
our head-. That's the way, mister
Gee up, there, Homer