Weekly Trinity journal., 1875-05-29
NUMBER %.
AN ORTHOMANIAC ROMANCE.

Friday afternoon last, young man
living on Warren avenue and handsome
young woman dwelling on Thirty-second
street were married. The wedding was
quiet one, as the brides family was in
mourning on account of the recent death
of the brides mothers grand-aunt, and
though merriy rang not the bells, still
these two were wed. After dinner, the
shedding Of tears, the shying OF old shoes
and similar nuptial ceremonies had been
duly performed, the young couple pro-
ceeded to the modest cottage on Warren
avenue which was to be their home-de-
licious thought their home. After tea
the two young people were sitting in the
dusky parlor testing the carrying capaci-
ty of one chair, when, naturally, they
happened to remember that just at that
very moment the great spelling tourna-
ment was raging ut Fnrwel Hall. After
saying that each would rather be where
he or she was than at Farwell Hall, etc.,
ETC., the turtle doves organized SPELL
ing tournament of their own, the reward
of merit being kisses, and the condign
penalties for errors severe hugs. Pres
emily the newlymade bride asked tho
newly groom to spell lmpenetra-
ble," and no spelled it elm p e-n-a.
t-r-a- b-l-e.n
go, you great goose" blythely said
tho sole partner of his homo and heart
You. educated at university, cant
spell Impenetrable. This nettled tho
head of tho family, and he asked her how
she spelled it.
imp e-n-i t-r-a-b-le."
"Thars tho worst | ever heard" said
he, ." for young woman, too, who pre-
tends to have moved in society and gone
to the Dearborn Academy"
Pretends I" echoed the bride, on
whose check two scarlet spots could be
seen glowing in the dusk, Qor the lamp
had been turned down very low, "pro-
tends" she repeated, as she loft his knee
for II rocking chair and began rocking
vigorously and famed herself with u
handkerchief. "My father never was u
tailor, and l cannot remember That my
mother ever took in washing."'
" Possibly not" retortcd the husband,
with fearful calmness, "but at least my
fathers debts W ere paid, and my moth
er's bridal trosseau, If plain, was paid
for"
EIkv Giant az h. anE. IN la, al
that night, whilo Angelina shed bucket
and a half Of tears in the solitary nuptial
couch she occupied.
At 10 A. NJ. tho husband and wife of
day, pale, cold, yet determined, called ON
lawyer who had known their families
for years, and announced their dotermin-
alton to separate rs soon as the requisite
papers could be prepared, on the ground
of inconpatibility of temper. Edwin
stated that he hoped to find in the Black
Hills present distraction and speedy
death, while Angelina remarked that, al
though she looked perfectly horrible in
black and detested walls, she would to
nunnery go. The lawyer, after some diff
hculty, persuaded them to tell the cause
and manner Of their separation. "Sir,"
said Edwin, I" cannot live with n wo-
man who spells 'impenetrablc' with AN
-
did you really do that, my dear ?"
said the kindly old Judge to the weeping
wife.
Yes.u she sobbod.
That was wrong, very wrong" no
replied.
$50 told her." put in the husband,
"but she said she could not safely en-
trust her happiness with one who spelled
II with an "a
"Ah," said the lawyer, "that is tho
way you spell it, is il ~
at is"
Then you are both wrong. 1t should
be spelled with nm o.
Swift us flash of lightning Edwin,
pressing one hand TO his throbbing brow,
leaped TO the bookcase and seized IL
Webster's Unabridged, while Angelina,
whose heaving bosom betrayed her emo
ton, turned over the pages Of the copy OF
Worcester's that the kind hearted old
lawyer had laced before her.
IT'S an 20, " cried each simutane-
ously Edwin !" "Angelina ~
And like torrents from one mountain
source they rushed into each others arms.