The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-01-30
GOSSIP.
GOSSIP.
His name it was Jack,
His father drove hack, D.,
PlaIa sewing bis mother did do;
And brother Of his
In position had riz

\ His father drove hack,
\ Plaln sewing bis mother did do;
And a brother Of his
In position had riz
To sweep out an office or two.
The season for r.slaying hogs and sleigh
ing girls is at hand.
Jerusha thought the first ice cream
she tas ted was q little touched with
frost.
1t is better to be alone in the world
than to bring up boy to play on the ac-
cordeon.
A, in his honeymoon, calls his wife
his saint; b, ten years married, sadly
echoes his amt.
Why is camel the most irascible ami
NAL in the woridp Because he always
has his back up.
"Amateur gentlemen" says an old la
dy, ''is q pretty good description OF a
certain class of young men,"
When man is engaged to the aunt of
a little boy in Washington, the little boy
calls that man ''my brevet uncle"
l hav made up mi mind that human
happiness. konsists in having good
deal to do, and then keep on doing it.
Nurse to Mamma-"Bless lis little 'artl
he's inhaled all the Arrer-root, Mum, he
has, except little Sentiment as is at
the bottom"
81 am saddest when sing" said ma
tive of the Sandwich Islands. SO are
those who hear him. They are sadder
even than he is.
Josh Billings wants to know where the
ffys all go when the cold weather sets in,
and where they all cum from SO sudden
next summer.
A dealer in ready-made linen adver-
tises his shirts and chemises under the
melifluous apellation Of "male and fe-
male envelopes"
Says Western editor on the Louisia-
ma questions: Our feelings are too deep
Tor expression. In fact, we might say
they are knee deep.
Never trust with a secret a married
man who loves his vile, for he will tell
her, and she will tell her sister, and her
sister will tell every body.
"What on earth made you get so
drunk, and why-oh, why-do you come
to me in this dreadful statep' "Be-
cause, my darling, all the other places
are shut up"
There is something grand and terrible
in the look OF a mother as she hauls the
potato basket out of the pantry, makes a
hurried inspection, and calls out: "Celes-
| tia Jane! every tater in this basket has
been friz."
"Johnp exclaimed Miry, throwing her
arms around her brothers neck, "what
substitutes can there be for the endear-
ments of sisterW "Well," said John,
"you see, Sis, that depends on whose
sister it is"
"DId l understand you to say that /
was lousy, sirr, "Oh, no; j. only told
my friend when it rained lice in Egypt l
thought you must have been walking
there without hat on, or an umbrella
that's allp .s.N4
Says a Hartford editor: "a young po-
1 etess sends in contribution entitled,
Let us Love- We will do cur best; bui
we have been married over four years
now, and are little out OF practice"
Women have a great respect for old
age. Watch young lazy seated in a
street car between u young gentleman
and an elderly one, and see how deter
mined she is not to incommoae the lat
| ter crowding against him.
An engineer on the Western North
Carolina Railroad shouted to crowd OF
rustics who had gathered to see the first
train of cars come in, "Put down your
umbrellas you'll scare the engine of
the trackw The umbrellas were low
cred at once.
Truth is indeed stranger than fiction.
1t is now stated as positive fact that q
young man in Vicksburg fought during
the late troubles until every enemy had
been driven from the city, and then actu-
ally rode several miles in the country to
protect his mother-in-law.
'Hi! where did yez git them trousers?"
asked an 1rishman OF man who hap
pened to be passing with a remarkably
short pair of trousers. 81 got them
where they grew" was the indignant re-
ply. "fheH, by me conscience" said
Pat, "you picked them u year too sOon."
"Wbat are you after, my dear" said a
grandmother to II little boy, who was
sliding along room and casting turtiye
glances at q gentleman who was paying
a visit. 81 am trying, grandma, to steal
papa's hat out of the room without let
ting the gentleman see it; he wants him
to think he's out.o
young man in New York, describing
his father as being one OF the most pow
erful men in the States, declared, as a
proof Of the fact, that his parent once
knocked down a whole row of houses at
one go. He omitted, however, to men-
tion that the individual possessing such
powers was an auctioneer.
''Do you see that gal over there ?"
asked a native Georgian of traveller.
"Yes," was the reply. "Wall, though
she amt twenty years old yet, stranger,
that gals raised large family. 'Twasn't
her own though, it was her mOther-in-
laws, and she raised it with a keg of
gunpowder in the celiar.o
A young lady was overheard telling
friend the other evening that she was
"dreadfully put out" because her pa
had rented a pew in the third row from
the pulpit, and she couldn't see the fash
ions worth cent without twisting her
neck OFT almost. "There's no pleasure
in going to church any more," she says.
A woman in Cedar Rapids, while suf-
feriug corporal disciple at the hands of
her horrid husband, hit upon notable
expedient of rescue and relief. She
SIMPLY cried, "Fire! tirer in terms at
once shrill and clear. Straightway came
the whole fire department, steamers and
all. Itisn't stated that the husband was
taken out and played upon, but we hope
he was.
1t is one of the sweetest and most con-
soling reflections of the opening season
OF buds and flowers, when the brooks
shall be released from their icy chains
and there is fair promise of the gentle
lambs skipping from rock to rock and
thistle to thistle, that the nights are rap
idly growing briefer and the iron rod of
the oppressive gas man has been broken
at the fountain to some extent.
A Covington lover went to visit his
girl one evening recently, but for some
/. 4.