The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-02-21
PORTER'S FALL.

The Louisville Co,uier-Jo,uudi says Danbury
! and Detroit not the only cities where lud-
| crous events happen to demure and ell-meanlng
| men. Collieryille produces an item of interest
occasionally Of the same kind so frequently re-.
| lated by Messrs. Bailey, Max ACeler and others
! Some days ago Mr.. Porter, who does business on
! the cast side of the public square, but little
more than a stones throw from the depot had
occasion to visit Memphis, and prepared himself
| for going on the mali train which passes there
| at 9:15 each morning.
| Becoming deeply engaged in discussion with
some Of his frend- as to the propIiety OF taking
ladies to the approaching iiard-Gras, he was
startled by the sbiil whistle almost at the depot
and the train moving rapidly The little negro
boy had only shined one Of Mr.. Porter's boots,
and taken the other off Ills foot for the same pur-
pose. No time was TO be lost. however, as the
tram Is allowed but one minute at station, and
Mr.. Porter pulling on his boot. ran out hurried
ly and made good time toward the train. 1t was
one OF tho e cold windy days, about the first of
February, and as if to aggrayate the uneasy Mr..
Porter, eft went his hat aad ran like thing of
life quite distance up the street, in opposite
direction from that lts owner would have desired.
1t would not do to 80 off with no hat. so Mr..
Porter regained the same with some delay and
IN ode faster time trainward than ever.
Now this fast speed made matter worse, for
Mr.. Porter stepping upon a brickbat which
turned, fell full length upon the ground Just
thea countfymans horse, which had broken
from the rack upon the approach of the train.
came running by, WHICH caused those who mad
not seen Porter fall 70 say 'Porter's horse has
thrown him. Others cried out Catch porters
horse Mr.. Porter was oblvious to all this, and
rising up made again for the tain. which by
this time was seaming loudly and beginning
to move. Mr.. Porter thought he could make it.
but knew 1t would take good speed.
The new platform at the depot, oye1 which he
must go, unfortunately Is so fiat that after IA rain
nearly half Of it remains covered with water
about one-fourth inch in depth. On this occasion
the keen winds had frozen the standing water
into a sheet Of ice. Mr. Porter would have gone
around this but for co ton bales that had been
laid on the dry places. He pressed intently for
ward, therefore, receiving no drawback on
account Of the ice until he had nearly crossed
over, when both feet slipped from under him in
the easiest possible manner. He sat down as
gracefully any one would have done under the
circumstances, hut the descent was SO forcible
he broke through the lce-breakng a space about
the size Of a wash-tub
Here be came in contact with the coolest wa
ter he had ever felt, just underneath the ice,
which caused his up-rl. ing to be about rapid
as his down sitting. After this he walked leisure
ly to the Grain, presenting a ludcrous appear
ance, with mud on coat and pants at some points,
and water on bis pants at other parts. His re-
marks reminded his hearers of all the heather
deites, and alSo Of the old gentleman who
tempted Eve, when be found the train referred
to was only a gravel train that had rnn in upon
the side track to await the arrival Of the mail
tram.