Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-05-27
Mark Twain on Spelling.

There was spelling match at the
Asylum Hill Congregational Church,
Hartford, Conn, on Wednesday
evening, and Mr.. Samuel Clemens
Mark Twain being called on for a
few preliminary remarks spoke as
follows:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: | have
been honored with the office of intro
ducing these approaching orthog-
raphical solemnities with few re-
marks. The temperance crusade
swept the land some time ago, that
is, that vast portion of the land where
it was needed, hut it skipped Hart
ford. Now comes this new spelling
epidemic, and this time are are strick
en-. SO suppose we needed the af-
Fiction. I don't say we needed it, for
| don't see any use in spelling word
right and never did. mean | don't
see any use in having a uniform and
arbitrary way of spelling words.
We might as well make all clothes
alike and cook all dishes alike.
Sameness is tiresome; variety is
pleasing. have correspondent
whose letters are always refresh
ment to me, there is such q breezy
unlettered originality about his or
biography. He always spells Kow
with large X. Now that is just as
good as to spell it with q small one.
1t gives the imagination a broader
field, wider scope. 1t suggests to
the mind grand, vague, impressive
lliad of COW. Superb effects can
he-produced by variegated spelling.
Now there is Blind Tom, the musical
prodigy. He always spells word
according to the sound that is car
ried to his ear. And he is an enthu-
siast in photography. When you
give him a word he shouts it out
puts all his soul into it. once
heard him called upon to spell orang-
outang before an audience. He said,
80, rang, orang, ger, ger, Granger,
tang, tang. granger tangT Now
body can respect an orang-outang
that spells his name in vigorous
way like that. But the feeble die
tionary makes mere kitten of him.
In the old times people spelled just
as they pleased. That was the right
idea. You had two chances at q
stranger then. You knew 4 strong
man from week one by his iron
clad spelling and his handwriting
helped you to verify your verdict.
Some people have IN idea that cor
rupt spelling can be taught-and
taught to anybody. This is a mis-
take. The spelling faculty is born in
man, like poetry, music and art. 1t
is a gift; it is talent. People who
have this gift in a high degree only
need to see a word once in print.
and it is forever photographed upon
their memory. They can not forget
it. People who haven't it must he
content to spell more or less like
thunder-and expect to splinter the
dictionary wherever their orthOg
raphical lightning happens to strike.
There are III, 900 words in the un-
abridged dictionary. I know lady
who can spell only $50 of them right.
She steers clear of all the rest. She
can't learn any more. So her letters
always consist of those constantly
recurring $50 words. Now and then,
when she finds herself obliged to
write upon subject which necessi-
tates the use of some other words,
she--well, she don't write on that
subject. I have 4 relative in New
York who is almost sublImely gifted.
She can't spell any word right. There
is a game called verbarium. A
dozen people are each provided with
a sheet of paper, across the top Of
which is written a long word like
kaleidoscopical, or something like
that, and the game is to see who can
make up the most words ont of that
in three minutes, always beginning
with the initial letter of that word.
Upon one occasion the word chosen
was cofferdam. When time was call
ed everybody had built from five to
twenty words except this young
lady. She only had one word-calf.
We all studied one moment, and then
said, "Why, there is no | in Golfer
DAM" Then we examined her pa
per. To the eternal honor of that
uninspired, unconscious, sublimely-
independent soul be it said, she had
spelt that word 'caffr' II anybody
here can spell calf any more sensi-
bly, than that, let him step to the
front and take his milk! The insur-
rection will now begin.