Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1875-07-03
Bradford, VT, July 3. 1878.
Those Circus Bills.
An Aged Female Acrobat Confuses Modest
Young Man.

came u SlalTS, anu sne uluil Sly I"
word until after she had wiped her
spectacles, placed them on her nose,
uniolded the bill, and read II few OF
the headlines.
She was old fashioned in look.
There were strings to her bonnet,
she had no hustle, her gray hair
was comhcd down smoothly, and
there were only eleven yards in her
black alpaca dress.
"Yuung man, dent you know that
circuses are awful liars and hum
bugs 7" she finally inquired.
The man at the table leaned back
in his chair and refused to express
an opinion.
"Well, know it," she continued
in positive tone, "and / believe
they git wuss every day. Now see
here--lislen to this: "A gorgeous
panorama of amazing wOnderS--a
gigantic combination of astonish-
ing acrobatic talant.' That's all
right on the poster, but hev they
got 'em9 I'd like to see one O them
animals"
"You're laboring under mistake.
madam. 1t means a grand display
of natural cnriOsities, and informs
the public that the pr0prietors has
secured many first class acrobats -
the chaps who stand on their heads,
turn head over heels, and cut up so
mary monkey Shines
at does, ell ~ she unused wal,
do you believe it takes a smart per.
son to keel over? ?"
"Well, one has to have u good
deal OF training"
"They do, ell y she remarked. as
she put her umbrella in the corner
and spit on her hands; "I'lI show
you that you are deceived! Pm an
old woman, but if l can't-w
"Madam, hold On-don't do it ~
exclaimed the man behind the table.
81 can flop right over there and
never shake my bonnet she said,
as she rose up.
81 know you can, madam, but
don't. ] am alone, and IL don't
want You to. I'd rather you
wouldn't. If you are determined
on it. l shall leave the roomw
"Wcll, You know | can do it, and
that's enough. You may be right
about what that means, but see
he1'-hear this: The highways
ablaze with Respondent chariots-
the srandcst pageant on EARTH fve
bin TO lots OF clrcuses, young man,
and never saw n pageant yet. If
they had one the door of his cage
wasn't Open"
"You are also in error there. The |
bill refers to the fact that the great
number of Wagons, chariots, &c,
make up a sight worth seeing as
they pass along The street."
Cum m.m," she muttered as she
folded the bill over: IL don't see
why they couldn't have said SO then.
And now see here-rcad that: Sig.
Govinotf, in aerial flights Now,
then, is that u boa constructor or a
cunduranGo?'
"lt is man, madam-one of the
performers. His real name is prob
ably Jones, but that isn't grand
enough, and SO they put him down
as. Sig. Govinoti' lie is the man
who jumps off rope, turns over
twice, and comes down all right"
Gle is, ell Well, if he's got an
idea that he's the smartest man alive
l want to disappoint him. / never
did try to turn over twice, but Pll
do it right here and now or break
my neck ! Git the things of1i'n that
tablew
"Stay, madam-don't. wouldn't ,
have you do it for fifty dollars"
"Jast Oncew
"For heavens sake, madam, got ,
Town of1i'n this table here-here's t
dollar if you won't do tip i
81 don't want your money, and / G
Won't try it if your SO scarf, but l $
lon't want no circus going around
alking about aryal flights and de. n
ewing the people" !,
She sat down, the young man Ii
wiped the sweat off his brow, and #
PRESENTLY she remarked: s.
"And here's another thing, right
ere: "A sparkling astcrisk, fash
Nc across the field of the ri
elinoo.: ~.,erlque in his great {
.,a,lons of human character
ID like to know who she is 7" a
"Madam, that't u mana man 1
who delineates character"
"HOw!
"Ivhy, he makes up faces-ex- !
,resses mirth, sorrow, joy, and so t
orth."
ale does, ehY Well, what's that $
o blow abOuts Make up faces
zee herew
And she shut her eyes, run her
ons ne out, and looked like the bot t
om of "A brass kettle which had been
kicked 10y mule. !
"lhey are humbugs, STRIP she
'aid as she drew her tongue in, "and
Eye 'spose Id pay fifty cents to go
o one ?" [
"Ihey are quite entertaining as a
general thing"
"Ihey are, eh' Entertaining, ell ?
Nell, if Ican't do more entertain
NC in five Minutes than circus can
10 all day l'll leave my bonnet up ,
ere! Here, hold on to this chair!'
"Nladam. l earnestly hope yOn