Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-07-24

N"VNh pohNO'
She wrenched herself free in frantic
effort to reach the stairs, and the mpetu
carried her fairly over the first step
For moment she wavered on the edge
her arms flung wildly about in the at
tempt to regain her balance, and ther
over she went, accompanying each revo
luton with most ear-splitting shrek
while the two men, with a burst O
mingled CONSERVATION and merriment
precipitated themselves after her, in
however, somewhat more orthodo,
fashion. Just as they reached the hall
and the landlady had succeeded il
picking herself up, the street door wa
burst open, and a policeman's astonishet
eyes took in the scene. Mrs. Benson OF
one hand, her face covered with perspira
tion and dust, and giving vent to shriel
after shrek with as much persistence
and rapidity as her breath would allow
and the conspirators on the other, scarce
able to stand in their excess of merri
ment, holding their hands to their sides
convulsed with paroxysms of laughter.
"What is the matter here ~ demanded
the public guardian.
"Arrest those two villains right away
Mrs. Benson stammered.
Arrest 'em ?" as Brown and Moore
went off into another convulsion
"What for?"
What for ?" screamed the landlady
ga nice reliable set you police are, to be
sure Here they've murdered somebody
and carried of that girl the papers arc
advertising for, with lot of money, and
oh, dear !'-.wringing her hands
"they was going to attack me, a lone
widow woman, and distill me to sleep
and take away my hard earnings, and
carry me off to take care of that young
girl :" and her over-wrought imagination
found vent to burst oft tears.
"What does she mean, anyhow
asked tie officer, evidently mystified.
Just wait till | get my breath ~
choked Moore, with fresh burst OF
laughter.
"Distill her to sleep, Oh, hold me ~
exploded his friend, hysterically.
Amt you goin' to arrest them before
they murder me" demanded Mrs.
Benson.
just hold on till hear their story"
replied the officer, grinning; "come,
what's the row, anyhoww He turned
to Brown.
"Well, step in here and sit down; I'll
make it all clear in two minutes. Just
hand me that roll, Moore" He stepped
toward the sitting-room.
/ a Il,
son; " my bank books in there, and |
won't be robbed before my own eyes !.
Stay where you are"
Controlling his risibilitics, Brown
held the opened roll toward the officer.
"Th's solves the mystery. My friend,
Mr.. Moore, has lately become attached
to the staff of a local paper, and is at
present engaged ona thrilling romance
for its columns. He has brought install
ments to me for my criticism, and my
landlady was to figure as one of the
characters. That is the extent of our
villainy."
But what frightened her SO? ?" asked
the perplexed officer.
"Eavesdropping, of course! There's
an empty room next to mine, with
closet in it. and we were talking over the
matter. We came out into the entry at
the same time and ran against her in the
dark. Myfriend caught hold of her, but
she pulled away, and being right by the
stairs, the rest can be summed up in a
few words-thumpety-bump, shrieks,
CATERS, petticoats-all in an indiscrimi-
nate mixture. Oh, what fall was
there, my countrymen" and the conspir-
ators broke once more into 4 peal of
merriment, in which they were heartily
Joined by the policeman.
Something had suddenly enlightened
the landlady's mind, and she came for
ward quite bcaming.
"Oh is that it? Are you story
paper man."
Precisely, madam ~ responded Moore
with bow and intended to ask if
YOU could accommodate me with lOdg-
ings. III pay whatever Mr.. Brown
does"
con, certainly, certainlyw cried the
delighted widow; $50 long as you amt
"Quite such a villain, ch? And you
shall have complimentary copies of all
my productions,
''Well, since there amt nobody to ar
rest, I'll bid you good morning" re-
marked the policeman, in lofty defiance
of moder' syntax and he bowed him
self out, while Mrs Benson, leading the
way herself TO the sitting-room, invited
her guests in to "rest Bit" and COM
pletc all needful arrangements.
Mr.. Moore came next day. The widows
handbook remained undisturbed and
her savings" gained monthly. Messrs.
Moore and Brown are two of the bright
est stars on the staff of the Thunderer,
and, the mystery solved, Mrs. Benson
has never had another temptation to
eavesdropping, and stoutly maintains
that she always did, and always will,
think her dodgers "t the two very incest,