Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-05-06


he reached over, /" Father, little of thu
mixture in the brown dish, if you please.
and 9 small piece of the prepared meat
The old gentleman, who is plain, mat
man, replied, as he loaded nm
the outstretched plate, |" We like to have
yeu come a-visitin' US, John, but just re-
member that, while your eatin' here, il
you want hash, say SO; and if you want
sausage, call for sausage, and not 20 to
spreadin' on any Brooklyn misery at nv
table. Fulton IN. ?. Times.
He was an Hishman, and took the
obviously economical view of the sub
ject. 1t was on the train from New York
to New Haven. The conductor on
reaching him said, with breyity and
blandness: "Ticket9" "Well, begor-
RAJ answered the Irish party, 81 guess
I've made bit of mishtake wanted
to % to Easthampton, Mass, and have
bought a ticket for East Hampton.
Conn" "Why didn't you buy the right
ticket?" said the conductor. "Well.
saw the two of them, but the one to
East Hampton, Conn, was the cheapest.
and SO bought that one"
-"D'sease is very various" said Mrs.
Darlington, as she returned from the
street door after conversation with DR..
Bolus. The doctor tells me that poor
old Mrs. Hare has got two bunkles on
her lungsl 1t is dreadful to think of, /
declare. The disease is so various. One
day we hear of people dying of hermi
tage of the lungs; another day, of the
brown creatures; here they tell US of the
elementary canal being out of order, and
there about tonsors Of the throat; here
we hear of neurology in the head, there
of embargo; on one side of US we hear of
men being killed by getting a pound of
tough beef in the sarcOphagus, and here
another kills himself by discovering his
ocular vein. Things change so that de-
clare don't know how to subscribe for
any disease nowadays. New names and
new nostrils take the place of the old,
and might as well throw my herb-bag
away"
The following nice little story ap-
pears in a scientific column OF the New
York Tribune: 1.-THE case is mentioned
of an American sailor who died in Guys
Hospital, London, a post naortem examina-
ton of whose body showed that his dis
ease was due to his repeated exploits of
swallowing knives, from the effects of
y
The first time he swallowed fourteen
knives, became sick, but recovered, and
commenced again, betting from time to
time on his bravado exploits. While on
an English ship he swallowed seventeen
knives in two successive days; but this
appears to have been too much, and after
long suffering he died. Fourteen of the
knives were found in his stomach, but,
strange to say, partly digested, the iron
parts as well as the horn handles. The
stomach itself was not at all injured.
He had good appetite to the last and
his sickness and death were alone caused
by the haft of large knife becoming i'm
movably fixed across the intestines."
The Troy Times says: Hermann.
the celebrated magician, was married re-
Gently. And his wife doesn't have to get
up at daylight to go to market. When
she wants a dozen of eggs she simply
hands her husband the empty egg bag
and he produces them by sleight-of
hand then he cooks an omelette in a
borrowed hat and converts can of saw
dust into that much white sugar, and
similar cups filled with Clipped pa
per is changed into hot coffee; then he
takes the same hat, stirs up its empti-
ness with a magic wand, and, presto,
changed out comes a loaf of bread, a
fresh shad, two pickles, one pie, a bucket
of coal, dish of hash, with natural
hairs in it, and half dozen knives and
forks. This is much cheaper than going
to market Blu: Mrs. Hermann is not
happy. When her husband wants gold
dollar he mysteriously picks it off the
end of his wife's nose, and she is dissat-
isfied because she can't perform that trick
herself"
"A party by the name OF Gunnison en-
joyed brief but satisfactory notorlety in
Denver few days ago. Gunnison issaid
TO belong to that large and impecunious
class of men born tired" and has hith-
erto occupied no high position in the
social scale. Gunnison, however, can
get excited in an argument occasionally,
and recently in dispute over the labor
of hod-carrying offered to do that kind
of work whole day for two dollars. The
offer was accepted and he was set at
work. The contractor for sport told the
proprietor and guests of prominent
hotel that Gunnison was a millionaire
who was carrying the hod just for the
novelty of the thing, and large crowd
soon assembled to see the wealthy gen.
tleman at work AT dinner-tim the pro-
prietor of the hotel invited 6unnison to
dinner, where he was supplied gratis
with the best of everything and lionized
generally. When evening arrived the
millionaire laid his hod aside amid the
plaudits of an admiring audience, but
the truth soon leaked out and then his
remarkable popularity was gone. Pos
sibly the sweets of such a DAYS work
regard for honest labor.