Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1875-02-05

hAVW OWUM AMhMEcu EAAWAoM AsAAc.
Max Adeler. in Danbury News.l
My life insurance agent, Benjamin P.
Gum, is still around and be is still can
vassing actively for his company. A day
or two ago be dropped in 10 persuade
Mr.. Pitman to take ont a policy, and the
following conversation eusued:
Gunn-I called ~
Pitman-0 get out don't want to
be bored about life insurance.
Gunn--I just dropped in to see if
Pitman-I know you did. and don't
want any You can't insure me.
Gunn-If you will permit me merely
to ex-
Pitman--But | won't permit you.
Skip This is the sixteenth time you We
tackled me, and Pm sick OF It. | amt
going to insure my life. That's settled
Gunn-You misunderstood me, Judge
| called to ascertain il you are mem.
ber Of the Peace Society.
Pitman-I am.
Gunn--I thought so. Aud OF course
you are wiling to help along any scheme
which win put an end to war and MUIR
der
Pitman Certainly.
Gunn-Well, then, just listen to me.
| am acting in behalf OF your Society
have on hand magnificent plan for
producing permanent peace on earth and
making armies useless. Why did Cain
kill Abel2
Pitmau--I dunno.
GuEn-Berause he had no particular
interest in keeping him alive. That's
the reason. Why did David bang Goliah
why did the Romans butcher the Cartha-
ginians;. why did the Medocs kill Gen
Candy; why did old what's his.name
burn Ridley and Latimer at the stake2
Pitman-Hanged if | know.
Gunn-Why, because it wasn't money
in the pockets of any Of those fellows to
have the other chaps walking around
enjoying life, Do you suppose Brutus
would a-stabbed Cesar if C@sars death
would a kept Brutus hard up for market
money! Not much, be wouldn't. Dc
you believe Wise would hung old John
Brown If Johns death would aforced
Wise to borrow money TO buy boots2
Pitman-Maybe he wouldn't.
Gunn-Well, then, look here. Sup.
pose you was policy holder in mutual
life insurance company; wouldn't it re.
duce your dividends il you was to kill
another member, and wouldn't you do
your terrific best to keep that member
alive2
Pitman--Str.kes me / would.
Gunn-0f course. Now, what am
aiming at is to gather the whole civil
lied earth-the whole human family
into our company, SOS that all hands
will be perfectly wild to keep everybody
else alive. When this is done you can
beat your swords into spears and your
plowshares into pruning hooks, for
there II be no more war. Don't you see
I'm not working for paltry commission
or two. II is a labor of love. I'm trying
to elevate the race and promote Chris.
tian civilization.
Pitman--It never struck me that way.
Gunn-Anyhow, it's so. And | ask
you, as a member oil the Peace Society,
to enroll your name among those who
are carrying on this great work Terms
as low as any other company, and diYi,
dends payable semi.annually. Unborn
generations will rise up and call you
blessed. We make our policies payable
at any aye, or will put in the Tontine;
and you will dry the widows Tears and
hush the cry of the orphan. Go in for
FIVE thousand dollar policy, aud | as
sure you that the glad hosannas of the
white robed angel Of peace once more
will resound from the starry vaults OF
heaven, and over the smiling earth the
songs OF love will still the claugor Of the
war horse and the boom Of the cannon,
and man once more will know the felicity
Of Paradise. Lemme see how old are
your
Pitman-lm fortyiour in February.
Put me down for five thousand, payable
at sixty years of age. Call in the
morning with the papers and I'll sign
EN-.
Gunn-Good day. I'm of. I've got
an engagement with Cooley at eleven
and I'm anxious to keep it. I've haunted
him for two years now, and he has sue
cumbed.