The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1875-08-07
LAUGHING GAS.

An astronomer can discover moro
wonderful things with one eye than
most men can with two.
& The rooster on the top of the liberty
pole says he'll be scorched if he stands
this any longer. ,-4t.-.
It is one of the curiosities OF natu-
raj history that horse enjoys his
food most when he has not bit in
his mouth. 5t.5t,' ~
\ tourist who was asked in what
part of Switzerland lie felt the heat .
the most, he replied, :" When l was
going to Berne."
A farmer in Canada found way to
make a balky horse go. He took him
to a strange town, and put him up at
auction. He went for $85. =
What should he the name Of a law q
yer's wife? she. A printers wifes
En-. A druggists wife Z Ann Eliza.
A carmtman's wife Matt g.,
Chinese is to be taught at a Boston
normal school. The girls are deter
mined to be no longer ignorant Of
what is written. Oh fire cracker packs
and tea chests.
"Lizzic, aren't yon going to church.
this mornings" No, dear, the pews
are SO narrow, you know, and could
not think Of going without my hustle
and she did-hot go. '.' @sf,''.'.'- 80
The indianapolis Ners has found
ont how the sex OF that man in Earaf1c
who went about in woInan's clothes :,
was discovered. " He inadvertently
said THANK you,' when q gentleman
gave up his seat i'll the street car ,r
just before marry ing an. old man
for his money, a Louisville girl called
her father aside, and throwing Herself
upon his neck, exclaimed amid smiles
and tears: 80 father! your poor
miserable daughter will have Il new
bonnet every week. "'' s''' '.'1''s' q
Mistress" Let yon 90 to evening
school, Mary? Why thought you
could read - well, ma'am, does
know my letters ft,s rate so longs
dey keep all III II row, but just. as soon
us dcy gifts mixed up into words, PM
beat" . ff'5as ''s' -
'.Gct ont of the way! what arc you
good tor9" said il cross old rnsn to a
little. briyht-eyrl urchin, who Il.ap-
ptnel to stand in his way. The little
fellow, as lie stepped one side, replied
very gently ''They make men Of
such things as We are.'!.,s. a4t syeas
\ rustic couple, newly married,
marched into drug store and called
for soda water. The obliging clerk
inquired what syrup they would have
in it, when the swain, deliberately
leaning over the counter, replied,
2" Stranger, money is no object to me =
put sugar in it." a..t. 4se5. a. 3.
just think of it! 1t costs one mil
lion two hundred and fifty thousand -
five hundred and eighty -nine dollars
and ten cents to keep the women Of
this country i'll imported c0rsets for
one year. What Il waste.-15rchamge.
Stay! it'snota waste, it is one of their
means Of support. ft-s.s 1- .~'['.'
London has new industry. A
man advertises himself us "knockcri
up and indow ticker, from three to
seven.' He wakes heavy sleeperswhu
wish to get up early. Window tick il
ling is waking without ringing the
bells, by means Of a long pole, with
which he taps OIL the the window
pane. 4t.st. 5r. l......=.5sI
A famous auctioneer. after. ex-gs
hausting the language of praise in ex-
tolling eltain gentleman's park
which had to fall under his ha16rner.
said he was bound, as an honest man,
not to conceal the drawbacks to the
property, which were. the litter made
by the rose leaves and the perpetual
din kept up by the nightin gales. 'a.
\ Milwaukee belle, attending q
theatre in this city recently, com
planned i'll one of the scenes that the
light was too dim to show the acting
properly. "Won't you try this glass;" I
asked her escort, handing her his
lorgnettc. Hastily covering the sus-
picious looking object with her hand
kcrchief, she placed it to her lips, took
Il long pull, and then handed it back
in great disgust, saying: " "WAy, 7
there amt Il drop in it, .s-.: s',.fs.
Oh, yes, gimme ten cents worth Of
hair pins, added All up-rlver farmer,
as he was about to leave store, ana
while they were being handed down
he continued: It's iar pins to day
and ribbons tomorrow and a tooth
brush the next day. The gal is
always wanting some tlim- fam thing,
and shouldn't be surprised if She'd
some day get up and want n,e to
bring home one of them combs with
ii brass back"
A gentleman who had the misfor-
tune to lose his nose was followed by
a beggar, who kept exclaiming:
. Heaven preserve your llonor's eve
sight - The gentleman was at iast
irritated by his impnnity, and said
=" Why do 20" wish my eyessgllt
to be preserved IL Nothing ;ii,s my
eyesisht, nor is likely to slo.', ! No.
Your honor, SAID the beg.ag, " but
1t will be Il sad thing if i. Does. for
you will have nothing to rest veur