The Jasper weekly courier., 1875-08-13
Detroit Police Court Sketches.

A tall, b ack-eyed woman sighing
drearily and carrying Grape handker-
chief in her left hand entered the station,
laid her hand on Bijah's arm, and feehly
inquired:
"What about your future?'
"rm going off on vacation next week,
madam-going out TO roll on the new
mown potatoes and snuff the fragrant
cornfields."
. am speaking of ycur spiritual wei
fare" she continued.
~ beg PARDON he said as ne hung un
the broom; II thought you wanted 10
sell me an excursion ticket. Pm irving 10
be good, madam, but it's mighty hard
work TO carry good heart arounl here
when run across peanut shells on the
desk, apple cores on the windew-sills and
cigar-stubs on the fioor."
Are you prepared TO die?' she asked.
"l'o away. my good woman, and return
I'm about an hour. There comes his Hon.
or, Court is ready to open and haven't
time TO talk Drop In here about 10 O'Clock
and III sit down and We'll shed tears to-
gether and together lament the general
wickedness of the world
He gently pushed her out Of doors, put
up the ropes and his Honor said that he
wouldn't try to keep house if Bijah wasn't
around.
HE WILL DO BETTER.
The first man ont was railroad brake
man, who had been celebrating his grand
fathers birthday.
"You run on the cars, eh?" asked the
Court.
"Yes. sir''
"And you belong to that class of men
who open the door as the train stops at
Pontiac and yell out 'Upontyack = at the
passengers"
The man was silent.
"It makes my bones boil when think
of how I've been used on these railroads.
continued his Honor. "The seats are
locked. the water-co0ler empty. the win
dows won't stay up, and every few min
utes you open the door and cry out Jaw
kun for Jackson, or ki-aZoo Tor kala-
mazoo. | believe I'll mark you for six
months.'
please. sir" protested the prisoner.
81 must strike "A blow at this great evil
somewhere, and might as well commence
on YOU"
please, sir. was never here before,
and it's my first drunk in four years.
His Honor leaned back and chewed the
corner of a blotting-pad while he reflected.
Finally he said:
wen. III let you 10, tnoueu IL ~
blamed for IL. Now, sir, after this you
want 10 adopt a different style. When
the train approaches a station you want 10
go through the car like a cat, smile gently,
and say in quiet tones Ladies and gen
tlemen. this train Is now In the outskirts
of the beautiful city Of Ypsilanti and such
of you as desire 10 step off will please
make ready, and may health and prosper
ity ever attend you. What an mnoya-
ton that would be. sir How the travel
ing public would rush for your road
WIN you do this, Mr. WellingtonT
The prisoner promised. and was allow
ed TO go.
LOVED IN VAIN.
Martha Jack, I'm sorry to see YOU
here" said his Honor to the next prisoner,
a tail woman with sad eyes.
. wish hadn't Gomez she sobbed.
"Well, suppose you couldn't help
yourself, Martha, but please don't look so
sad and melancholy. Right now, when
every woman Is making currant jelly ana
raspberry jam, yoc ought 10 smile like
COW In a corn-field.
Don't abuse mel" she walled as she
wiped her eyes.
II won't, Martha; wouldn't abuse my
own grandmother. On the contrary lask
you 10 cheer up. There's light ahead,
Martha"
"There's no light for mel" she said, as
she carefully wiped her nose.
1T may be that you have loved ID
vain ?" he queried.
"Ycs, sir-that's il, sir"
swell, 1 can't blame you then ior
throwing dead cat over into your neigh
boris garden and raising a row. ! have
loved and loved In vain. / loved fat wo-
man once. All ! she was beautful-she
was gorgeous-she was worth two YOKE
of oxen and the best corn shelter IN Me-
dina County. My love was vain. she
turned away from me as the polar bear
turns from drifting barrel full OF dollar
store diamonds and wishes ,hey were
veal-cutlets. IL was years and years ago;
Martha. but even when think OF II now
feel as IL | could tear "A thrce--tory house
down and pick my teeth with the spllhl.
ers."
She sobbed aloud.
$50 home, Martha" he said huskily, "go
home and put the Monday washing 20
soak and be prepared 10 enter upon ,le
arduous duties of the coming Wees
Don't be reckless any more-dont throw
any more cats around-remomber that
other hearts suffer with yours. '-DetFo"
Eres Press