The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-03-18
WHOLE NO. .1451.
Miscellaneous.
Civil rights-obliging answers.

maternal knee.
Ministers of the interior-the cook and
the doctor
The vilest sinner may return-every-
thing save an umbrella.
They made man pray seven hours for
stealing a mule in Delaware.
Josh Billings says: Tew enjoy a good
reputashun, give publicly and steal pri-
vately.
Unpopular music-Thomas's concerts
on the back yard fence.
A Chicago sausage maker advertises
his wares as "dog cheap
How to pronounce Polish name,
sneeze three times and say ski
A constantly recurring and ever-truth-
full statement-"The fools are not all
dead yet"
How sharper than serpents thanks
it is to have a toothless child-iShaks-
peare Revised.
A man in Cincinnati advertising for
situation. says: Work is not SO much
an object as good wages"
John Dubois, of Cairo, ran away with
two Miss Moores, and they are after him
and his pair-o' Moores.
The Richmond Enquirer has Letter
from Louisa" every week. She's court
house.
An exchange asks: Where does the
cotton go?" We know where q good
deal of it goes, but don't like to tell.
Sylvanus Cobb wants to be Lieutenant
Governor of New York State His ex-
cuse is that he has written 500 novels.
This is the latest form of wedding in
vitations: "Come around and see me
capture mother-in-law at o'clock,
sharp"
Won't some one hurl a mallet at the
young man of the Boston Post? He's
trying to revive interest in conundrums.
A circus lion is roaming around Wes-
ton, Missouri. and people have good
excuse for remaining away from prayer
meetings.
A Delaware man lost his wife and a
race-horse by the same stroke of light
ming, and he tried for two hours to re-
vive the horse
Napoleon ". is cultivating very
lovely mustache, and this gives the
American girls who have seen it some
thing to dream about
A Dubuque man offers to go out pray
ing with the sick at So per day, and
adds:-"Or will drive team, break colts,
or run a cider mill"
The Shakers of New York number
eighty less than two years ago, and
they We got to throw away their single
bedsteads or become an extinct sect
When a young lady has to stay at
home from party on account of sty
on her eye, it is useless to tell her that
Providence doeth all things for the best
One of the meanest things a small boy
can do is to put tacks in the chairs when
he knows that young man is coming
to call on his sister that evening.
Somebody observes that when six
young ladies sit down to talk about
dress, small boy with tin horn is
refuge for the weary.
A student at an Iowa college boarded
himself on sixty-fiye cents per week and
studied twenty hours per day. He is
now an overseer of highways.
Quilp, who has heretofore been Uni
versalist, now thinks there are two things
destined to be eternally lost-his UNI
brella, and the man who stole it.
1t doesn't look well, to say the least,
for Kansas church member to have to
draw out his revolver in order to get
at his two cents for the contribution
box.
The only unoccupied real estate in
New York is advertised thus: "A nice
three-cornered lot in a cemetery, short,
and just right for a fat man with only
one leg"
Horse dealer-"I know you don't like
his cad, and allow he ain't got q purity
cad; but lor, now, look at Gladstone
the cleverest man in all England and
look at is 'ead!"
In giving geography lessons down
East, teacher asked a boy what State he
lived in, and was amused at the reply,
drawled through the boys nose, IA state
of sin and misery"
A converted liquor compounder has
been divulging the secrets of his profess
ion. Now. if corner groceryman could
be got to the mourner's bench what
world of good he might do.
An editorial notice of a woman's gro
cery store reads as follows; Her toma-
toes are as red as her own cheeks; her
indigo is as blue as her own eyes, and
her pepper as hot as her own temper.
A county treasurer in Alabama can't
read or write, but he has put 81, 900 where
no one but himself can find it. This
shows that collegiate education isn't
essential to the requirement of wealth.
A fellow who hid under sofa at an
informal Boston missionary meeting.says
that the thirty-five ladies spoke twice of
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