The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-07-08
VARIETIES.
Costly fnrniture-Indian bureaus.

! chromos.
\ Schenectady girl at spelling school sat
down en- pantalcons."
At a recent spelling match one man spelt
it pasnip" and got beet.
One swallow does not make spring,
but dozen swallows sometimes make ons
fall.
No man can become thoroughly acquain-
with his family history WITHOUT running for
ofice.
The Snake Run Acadamy is the name
Of an Indiana school. The scholars must
ell be adders.
"Quills are things that are sometimes
taken from the pinions of goose to spread
the opinions of another"
Old gent -"What do you wear specs for,
boy?" Bootback-"Cos puts such shiny
shine on gentleme's boots it hurts me eys.
The man who pronouaces "Don Quixote"
"Donkeykote" shows a disposition toi in
trude his own name that is not commenda-
bic.
A Western man, reading of cricket
club in a New York paper, writer's the
editor to know if the club is good for any
thing for grasshoppers.
"What kind Of sassages is them?" queried
an old lady Of the young man of literature
and peauruts, as he passed through Che
train selling bananas.
''No'' said Mrs. Fodgers, very positively,
'if 20 into the country, Mr.. Podgers goes
with me. This city amt no safe place to
leave a man alone in."
MI. D -, If yum gus my uuuo
by Saturday, l shall be forever indebted to
YOU" ''Il that's your game it won't be
doue,' SAID the tailor.
Gratitude.-A bachelor made will lesv-
ing his property to the girls who had re-
fused him; "For to them | owe all my
earthly happiness"
"What shame that / should be starv-
ing!" exclaimed poor corset maker out
of work-"I that have stayed the stomachs
of hundreds"
Spotted Tail appeared in his spring suit.
1t is neat but not guady-a blue blanket,
a pair of blue flannel trowsers, and a white
round-topper bet.
The following legend is inscribed on the
front Of a butcher shop in an inland town
of Pennsylvania: '' Kash pade for little
knives nut mourn two daze old.
at will come" said candidate fer
Mayor of St. Louis the other day, while
making a stump speech, Just as sure as
it was thas Romeo founded Rome"
\ correspondent of Western paper
having described that Ohio as a "sckly
stream," the editor appended the remark;
81 hats so-it is confined to its bed.'
Graham bread is said to be excelart
food for the children on account Of its
superior bone giving qualities. You can feed
child on that bread until he is all bones.
An Illinois woman who wanted to 60 to
a masquerade party as Mary, Queen of
Scots, hooked through the Bible to as
certain how the character was dressed.
minnie, I'm in such quandary; for
if Iturn my back on Charley he becomes
offended ut once, aud if l don't he can't
see my new buckle. What shall do?''
The FlJrentine version of the McClOskey
hat ceremony is best. The Epoca said:
"Geu. G rant will with his own hands place
the beretta on Mokloky's head"
Artists have adopted many enblems of
charity. We wonder if none Of them eye-
thought of India-rubber. whicE gives more
than any other substance.
A kind hearted, peace loving Baltimore
man painted his front steps twenty three
times trying to please his wife, and then
she decided that the first color was the
| best.
Reynolds, the dramatist, observing the
thinness Of the house at one of his pieces,
said: 81 suppose it is owing to the war;"
"No," was the reply, 'It is owing to the
piece"
A young lady, after reading astentively
the little CT novel, called "The Last
Man." exclaimed, ''Bless me, if such o.
thing were ever to happen, what would
become Of the woman.
81 declare" said Susan, as she watched
/, the people coming into church fthat man
looks ike piece Of dried beef" ''HushI'
said her sister, ct isn't meet in you to
talk So"
A Newark girl hastened the departure
ofa lingering gentleman caller the other
evening by rcmarking as she locked out
tf the window: 81 think we shall have a
beautiful SUNRISE"
OWN you haYe a small piece of the light
meat or small piece Of the darkl" asked
Bob's uncle, as he carved the turkey at
dinner. 81 will take large piec Of both, "
answered Bob.