The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1875-08-06
RATES OF ADVERTISING:
Basket of Chips.

ours at hOmG-the baby.
A veil able-space-a woman's face:
The naked truth-a bear story,
The way for desolate old bachelor to
secure better quarters Is to take bet
ter half
Boys have divers reasons for hookeys
ing from school just now. If you doubt
it examine their hair.
"Thls," thought boy, while being
rounced by his fond papa, sis very
like a whale.
The tunes that were most admired on
the 18th were the platoons of the Sew
enth Regiment.
The misery felt by tho child who
couldn't 60 to the pic>nic, is nothing to
that of the one who has been to it.
The children in Florida say they live
en- sweet potatoes in the summer, and on
strangers in the winter.
To Archbishop WhateIy is ascribed
this paradox: "The larger the income,
the harder it is to live within it,
Why does a duck 90 under the water2
For divers reasons. Why does she
90 on land? For sun dry reasons.
The Wisconsin farm er who left cans
die burning in his barn so as to scare
thieves away, has no barn to watch now.
"Are there any fools in this city p
asked stranger of neWsbOy. mo; do
you feel lonesome p was the reply.
81 wonder what makes my eyes so
weak, said fop to gentleman. They
are in a weak place, replied the other.
A landlord, having let all his houses
| but one, was asked if that inlet house
was his last Yes, last, but not leased,
was his reply.
The report that the Princess of Wales
| had lost her hearing" was only a Cock
ney supervision. She lost an ear-ring.
An Iowa editor recently announced
that a certain patron of his was 'thieVing
as usual" 1t Was written thriving,
1t may seem paradoxical, but the best
newspapers get the most cutting treats
ment from their brethren of the tripod
'Do you like Goldfish balIs2' .dr. Wigs
gins. Mr. higgins, hesitatingly-"I
really don't known; | don't reccollect at
tending one.
81 think have seen you before, sir
! Are you not Owen Smith p ooh, yes,
| N OWN Smith. AMI OWN Jones, and
OWN Brown, and OWN every body"
! A philosopher asserts that tie reason
why ladies' tech decay sooner than gem
! tlemen's is because of the friction of
the tongue.and the sweetness Of the lips.
What is the difference between sperm.
aceti aud a school boys hawl? One is
the wax produced by the whale, and the
other is the wall produced by the
whacks.
How odd it j." said pat, asahe trudg-
ed along on foot, one hot sultry day,
that a man never meets a cart going
the same way b e is
Ornitbo >Iogic. If all birds that sing
are songsters, then all birds that ro0st
are roosters hence all hens are ROSTERS.
"Now, then, children" said a parish
schoolmistress, showing her scholars off
on examination day, ''Who loves ali
men q You, nissus, was the unex~
pected reply.
Let's chip in and raise a hundred dolls
lars for the Boston physician who says
that it is unhealthy to rise before the
sun has dispelIed the morning fog
Detroit Free Press.
"Sir," said an cd Judge to a young
! lawyer, you would do we'll to pluck some
of the feathers from the wings of your
Imagination and stick them in the tail of
your judgment
A bad little boy. upon being promised
five cents by his mother If he would
take dose Of castor oil, obtained the
money and then told his parent that she
might caster oil in the street
The fiddler Of minstrel company ran
away the other day in debt to the mans
ager, at which be facetiousiv declared
that he had engaged the fellow for nd
der, but be had taken the Tart Of a
base yiOlInist.
On MoEdy evening his wife asked him
where he was going as she saw him
putting on his oveTcOat 81 am going to
sally forth" he replied; and she warm
!ly rejoined Let me catch you going
! with any Sally Forth"
Mark Twain .aprop0s IF n new portabl0
mosquito net, writes that fhe day II com
ing when we shall set under our nets IN
church and s!umber peacefully, Whi'9
the discounted flies club together and
take it out Of the minis ter
, DR. Johnson onre dinad with n Scotch
: lady who had hotch putch for dinner.
o After the doctor had a-ted it, she ask ed
, him if it was good 1T u good for hogs,
r ma AN" sajd the doctor. Then fray,
t said the ladys "let ne help you to some
e more.
Copy was out The devil picked mp a
! paper and said, Here's something about
: a woman'-must ] cut It out ?" mo =
!, Murdered the editor, the fret disturb>
= auce ever created in this world was Occa-
+ stoned by the devil fooIing about a
. woman"
&c A teacher in the Port JeTvis public
II schools was explaining to the cLildrer
that usually all words ending "iet'
meant something small, as streamlet
le rivuIot, hamlet, etc. WhereupOn
at smart boy asked If hamlet meant a small
n ham.