Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1875-03-10
A Danbury MAN Tries to Reach
WOMan's Pocket.

Oman'S Pocket.
The most difficult thing is to reach q
woman's pocket. This is especially
the case if the dress is hung up in a
closet, and the man is in hurry. We
think we are safe in saying that lie al
ways is in hurry on such an occasion.
The owner of the dress is in the sitting
room, serenely engrossed in book.
Having told him that the article
which he is in quest Of is in her dress
pocket in the closet, she has discharg-
ed her whole duty in the matter, and
can afford to be serene. He goes at the
task with dim consciousness tina. he
has been there before, but says moth
ing. On opening the door and find
ing himself confronted with number
of dresses, all turned inside out, and
presenting a most formidable front, he
nastens back to ask (which dress p
and, being told the brown one, and
also asked if she had so many dresses
that there need be any great effort to
find the right one, he returns to the
closet with alacrity, and soon has his
hands on the brown dress. 1t is in.
side ont, ike the rcst--a fact be does
not notice, however, until he has
made several Intellectual attempts to
get his hand into it. Then he turns
it around very carefully and passes
over the pocket several times without
being aware oft A nervous moving
of his hands and an appearance of
perspiration on his forehead are per-
ceptible. He now dives one hand in
at the back, and, feeling around, finds
aplace and proceeds to explore it,
when he discovers that he is follow
ing up the side of the lining. Tie
nervousness increases, also the perspi
ration. He twitches the dress on the
hook, and suddenly the pocket, white,
plump, and exasperating, comes 10
view. Then he signs the relief he
feels, and is mentally grateful he did
not allow himself to use any offensive
expressions. 1t is all right now
There is the pocket in plain view
act only the inside, but the outside
and all he has to do is to put his
right hand around in the inside and
take out the article. That is ALL
lie can't help but smile to think how
near he was to getting mad Then
he puts his hand around to the other
side. He does not feel the opening
He pushes a little filrther-now he
has got it F; he shoves the hand down,
and is very much surprised to see 1t
appear opposite his knees, He tries
again again he feels the entrance
and glides down it, only to appear
again as before. This makes him
open his eyes and straighten his face.
He feels the outside of the pocket,
pinches it curiously, lifts it up, shakes
it, and after peering closely about the
roots oft, he says, "By gracious !"
and commences again. He does it
calmly this time, because hunying
only makes matters worse. He holds
up breadth after breadth, goes over
them carefully, gets his hand first into
lining, then into the air again (where
it always surprises him when it ap.
pears and finally, into pocket, and
is about TO cry out in trump, when he
discovers that it is the pocket of an
other dress. lie is mad now the
closet air almost stiles him he is 50
nervous he can hardly contain himself,
and the pocket looks ut him so ex-
asperatingly that he can not help but
'plug" it with his clenched fist, and
Immediately does it. Being some
what relieved by this performance, he
has chance to look about him, and
sees that he has put his foot through
q bandbox and into the the crown Of
his wife's bonnet has broken the
brim to his Panama hat, which was
hanging in the same closet, and torn
about yard of bugle trimming from
a new cloak. As all this trouble is
due directly to his wife's infatuation
in hanging up her dresses inside out,
he Immediately starts after her, i'm
petuously urging her to the closet,
excitedly and almost profanely init
mates his doubts of there being Q
pocket in the dress any way. The
cause of the unhappy disaster quietly