Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-11-26
BnurOroms Sketches.
erhIau.heimsr Pites Himself mis a
Dog.
III yoS RoYLE.

sr voS RoYLE
vone Of dose dsys Mrs. Slausheimer hears .
,,oise in shtreet outd She room oudt und it vas
sohlau.heimcr sitting on bis pack kicking uft
his heels In the air up. Und he sphts NIT a;'
,aoudt. md shiands nit HE bead on, and or! /
eadt:
u haf the hydra-dog pte me. haf pi'o
myself NIT mad dogF
Una dere was a poodle rooniRg The sAtreet
up: and eferybody let him 20 shoost so fast as |
dey could. Und Mrs. schlausheimer got fright /
ened, and she say:
shall room und got berwick doctor maa
sSo, he saws, Il might die before he comes, /
und den would come pack and re a bonn'ed
honss wkerrfer you vas. You know de moose |
paper sas dot ven yon pie Yourself nil !
.hnakes. or hyarantfobia, DC Only tings vat vas /
for somesings goot, vas plenty visky--a whole
gallon fuil.'
So she put him awf his leetle bedt, und vent
md got dot visky Und SchlausheimeE vas
awful sick: uud IL he would hear rom Cog IN
sh,reet park, he would hear fco dogs in the
rect park, he yould park dres. Den Ars'
biausheirner would had to gf him some 'is&y
make him shtop parking.
Den she says, 'schiausheimer, we're yoa get
tei
Den he says, On de sidcyalk.
Den she ssys,.'Voi part Of you, mean, is
dc. Lydrantfobia 2
Den he says, 1t vas al ofeT me-
Den she saws, Set rue see we're dot dag pic
von. 20 / can put it on mustard biaster, and
raw dol p;e ouet.'
Den he says, 'You don't can draw him o''t
aad rneyps yoa caught de hydrantio6ia pesidce
md /, vas only rY5S Ilyarauifobia yisky in dc
house 'genossh.
Den che says, Let me 90 Tor DR.. sonueu-
fehm!ds.'
Den he says, No; dots no goot-5ologna
ssu.ases vas potter. Psiag som; l vas hoon-
cry
Den be saws. Don't you know -ie principle Of
homeopathy l---dot same tings cure dot ssDc'
ting Vel rot plte on dc outside Iy a dog, 50
vii vaccinate myself on de Inside wit 'ansa-
ges. Dots de only ting besides bienty of yisky,
dot vas for il some gOot.'
Vel, SO soon he eat dot sausage he pRlk
leotle. Den be says, Dots goo' sisa. Dot
vaccination took right away. Give me leetle
more visky.'
Den he got th.eepy, but efery time she sihart
for the doctor, he vouid wake, ana PARK leetle,
uad call for lcotle visky. At dc last he vas
sound shieeping. Uud shc vent and got DT.
Sonnenechmldt.
Dr.. sonnenschmiet says, We're did Schlaus-
Eeimer piie biinself!'
Mrs. schsusheiner says, 'On lie pack, near
his ankle
So dey look on his iack ana his ankle, but dey
don't fnd no pite.-DGt,b,Gg NsTs.
TEE TRUTHFUL P;LoT-SoNETHING HITHERTO
CxuE1nD OF IL NATUEAL HIsroRr.--The pas
senger, VINO was going dowu the big river for
the fist iac in his life, secured permission TO
climb up beside i!ie pilot, grim .olG gFaybSck
who never told q lie in bis life.
Many alligators in this river & inquired ths
stranger. after a looS around.
'Not so many nov, since they got 10 sho9iie'
'eia for their hides and taller was she reply
Used to De lots, eh 2
i dou't want to tell you aboat 'em stranger,
replied the pilot, sighing heavily.
'whyP
s'Cause you'd think was a-lyin' TO you, end
that's sumthin' | neyer Go. / Kin eiicat al
keeras, drink whisky or chaw poor teI5ackeTi
bni can't lie
Then there used to te lots of 'em r inquired
thc passenger.
I'm most afraid to tell ye, mister, but Iv'
counted 'leyeu hundred aliigaters TO the milk
ANlron yicAssarg g; nj. .,ieSe ~ GE.esRs ss,si
-. = I eoa'i doubt ii,' replied re RI jfenge'-
-.2s,,--.l6 l6unted :, ,459 Of 'em on Ole sant
1nued the stranger Ii lo0ks big &c
Is Government su, veyor was aboard, and
<chgd 'em off as / called OUT
IsyeL'l the cast doabt 0. IL, said the raa
ysnger - he heayed Il sigh.
g'ia glad o that, stranger. some i,Iiert
would thiak Tas Z liar when Im telling The
solemn truth. This used 10 Dc lalaa!>c ioi
sl.gatcIf, and they were 20 thick that le bvc.'
# Tie lost kiaed an average Of forty y-n.nu Il
tAe E!lr 2
Is that so 2
True n Gospel, mister ured 10 almost fee
sorry iur the cusssi bru!es, cause tbcy'd kill
lots d 'oIa, as ] Said and We hurt pile more
sailed viii one captain who ulius carried
thousand bottles Of Iirineut to throw over &.
tic wounded onrsr
X 1is ,
True as you 1--we, IA ii. / don't 'sPect Tii
ever zee such another kni, Carisiiau man
And inc a.,ilsiors gri 20 know the Nancy Jane
and 20 know Capt. Tom aud they'a SWIM ou
snd rae ibcir tails agn the boat an paTf III,
cnts an look mp an try to smile! =
They would :!
Solemn truth, stranger. Aud once sEea -
Erogndca or hst, wi!h an opposition boa
right behind. ihe an-ators gathered agoun,
her, got under her stern, and bumped her ccaI
over the bar by grand push 1t looks Ike
big stDIy, bat heycr iolG lie yet, and / ucyc
shall. wouldn't lie for all the money you cou.,
put aboard this bost.'
There wY painful pause, aud after awh
oEr pilot continued:
Our injaes gin out once, and'a crowd of ali
gators took towliae and aauicd rs forty-Gu
miles up stream to Nickssurgr
They did 2
and when the news got aloEg the river tia
Capt Tom dead, every alligator in the rive
Aanbed bis left in mud as a badge of mourn
in, and lots Of 'em pined away and died ?
The passenger left the pilot-house with the 10
mark that he didn't doubt the statement, sn
the Old man gave the wheel a turn, and re
piled:
'Thar's one thing won't do for love or mo
Dsy, and that's make liar OF myself. / va
brung up 10y good mother, and I'm going 1
stick to the truth n this boat dosen't make
cent vicksJsyg He,0ld.
rs he anything any how 2 said ore young I'D
So another, as they promenaded Charles street
snd discussing nice young mau.-'Oh, yes,