Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-09-29
Miscellaneous Items.

MOIIO lOr Sn1u-CaKer-SnuH s as
good as feast.
A WINNING man is seldom thought so
by losers.
LII deeds are doubled with an evil
word.-Shakspeare.
FRIENDSHIP is stronger than kindred
-Publius Syrius.
MEN tire themselves in pursuit of rest.
-Sterne.
OLD parlor game-cricket on the
hearth.
FRIENDSHIP is made fast by inter.
woven benefits. Sir P. Sidney.
No better relation than prudent and
faithful friend. -Franklin.
GENIUS makes its observation in short
hand; talent writes them out at length.
-Bovee.
GENIUS is the gold in the mine; talent
Is the miner who works and brings it out
Lady Blessington.
BEST thing to do when you go shop
ping with iadies-Take notes.
WHY is that vehicle called dog-cart?
Because puppies ride in it.
A REGULAR knock down of talent-A
hammerture performance.
PLAINTIFFS in error-Rogues charg-
ing law officers with false Imprisonment.
IF man won't act on the square. the
best thing is to deal round with him.
AN egg underdone, and an egg over.
done, are alike in that both are hardly
done.
The new London drink, ssstout and
bitter" is called ssmother-in-law" for
short.
A Boston murderer, in consequence
OF his poor health, wants his execution
delayed.
FRAME thy mind to m1rth and merri-
ment, which bar thousand harms and
lengthen life.
How the free lunch fend solves the
problem of existence-By the Buy-no-
meal theory.
WHEN is soldiers ammunition box
Like country road When it is full of
cartridges.
A LONDON tea merchant advertises for
lone thousand ladies to help to extend
my business"
THERE are in Milan at the present
time no fewer than 800 American girls
studying for the lyric stage.
A MILK pitcher, thrown by his wife at
a Nelson street man, on Monday noon,
missed the aim aud ruined a handsome
frame which enclosed the words, .sGod
bless our home.
"HAvE animals sense of humor?'
asks an owlish exchange. Certainly
they have. You'll always find that jack
asses are always ready to laugh immod-
erately at the poorest jokes.
A BRIDGEPORT man has been cured of
the foolish habit Of carrying tobacco
and cartridges loose in the same pocket.
His pipe exploded, and now he hasn't
any nose that he knows of.
A North CAROLINA editor will dress
his paper in mourning for $40 if any
one dies, and his liberal terms have en-
deared him to the hearts of the whole
country.
'.NEvER mind, sonny. The rain makes
boys grow - remarked Massachusetts,
tramp the other day, when he took
silk umbrella away from a lad in the
midst of a rain storm.
THREE Northerners, with capital of
$lS to- swing ON, have started fire in
surance company in Louisiana, and
are taking everybody who wants per
feet indemnity against loss by the
fend.
OF the world that has an excess Of
women. In Germany the loss of young
men in the war and by emigration has
been SO great that there are nearly
1000, 900 more women than men.
A NEGRO, suddenly finding himself
under fire during skirmish in the late
war-prayed. This is what he prayed:
"Oh. Lordy if you're cher guine to do
anythin' for dis old niger, nows your
time"
A schoolmistress once asked a pupil to tell
What words the letters double E spell.
The child was but dull aud 80 mistress cries.
What is it, YOU Ounce, do with my eyes?''
"Oh, yes 2 says the child. quickly taking the
hint:
81 know the word now, ma'am, double E.
squint! J"
A LADY at Long Branch while bath
ing, was dragged in by the tow and
dragged out by the hair. 1t speaks
we'll for her capillary attractions, for In
most cases nowadays, in question
between tow and hair, the tow has the
best of it.
The bones of George Fox, the founder
of the Society of Friends, are about to
be disinterred from Bunhill Fields.
Nine score years sage he was borne tnither
attended by three thousand Friends
having appeared, in 'sPenn's words,'
the most pleasant corpse he ever looked
on.
ella FILE BE ROLAND" by Henri de
Bornier-a play that was received in
Paris with great favor, from the stage
of the Theatre Francois has bsen trans
lated into English and adopted to our
stage, by Miss Annie E. Ford, of Balti-
more.
THR following is simple mode of
rendering water almost as cold as ice,
without the use OF ice: Let the jar,
pitcher Or vessel be surrounded with
one or more folds of coarse cotton kept
constantly wet. The evaporation OF the
water will carry off the heat from the
inside, and reduce it to a freezing
nOi.,t Tn India and other frOnica1 re.