Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1875-04-16
LAUGHS.

| LAUGHS.
We don't believe the last rumnr Anna
Dickinson could no more be circus-rider
than she could fly.
Red used on a railroad signifies danger.
and says stop. 1t should be 81 construed
when displayed on mans nose.
They have discovered Michael Angc'o's
private correspondence; and it's good
thing for poor Mike that he was never in
Brooklyn.
my lecture" said California orator.
twill be brief" A turnip hit him on the
"divide" at that instant. and he annonnc.
ed: "The meeting stands adjourned"
An end man of negro minstrel troupe
in Cincinnati, the other night. observed
that lie took ''his girl" ou. boating short
time since, 'in woodruff, and the boat
Kept tiltin' and tiltin,' until he finally had
to beech her."
A Christian statesman of Kentucky
broke several of his boys ribs trying Ia
get him to Sunday School, When tha.
boy grows old enough TO appreciate tho
conflict between Science and Religion,
he's going to bet all his money on Sci
ence.
A Troy stove firm has received n letter
from the West in relation to tho purchase
of bester for church, which concludes
as follows: "Thc heater furnished by you
for the church at-wOrks bully, Give
US your rock bottom prices, as we are poor,
but very pious."
'Mother wants to know if vou won't
please to lend her your preserving kettle
-'cause as how she wants to p,ese,ve."
I'VE would with pleasure. boy, but tho
fact is, the last time we lent it I" your
mother she preserved 1t so effectually that
we have never seen it since" "Well, you
needn't be so sassy about your old ke,,;;..'
mother wouldn't have troubleed.',
only we seed you have an.s
..Herherr said ierplexcd mother.
..,,n,' ~ - :. y. Cure not better boy:''
..,r.n -. The little fellow. so!erlv,
looking up into her face with his honest
S1ss }ass as ra9 70 sAs sSea w. a is
child gave the real reason why all o, us
big IS well as little, are not better than W
arc.
The charge that Botkin of The Milw.n.
kee Sentinel. has to Pull on his undcrshirt 4
from below on account of the SIZE of his
ears, is base invention. We've known
Bot. over twenty-one years, have slept
with him great many times. and We know
that his ears are flexible In col | weather
We used to use tho off one for an ,aquil,.
Times.
Talk about your Christian Msrtvr
When the cold spell set in nj the bcg,..-
ming of the year, the father Of five mar.
riageable daughters told them no. To en-
courage the visits Of young men until tho
weather got warmer or coal gnt cheaper.
And those dutiful girls obeyed him! But
now that spring is about opening, they
insist upon having three more from, gates
erected. "-Norristown Hereli.
Beckett, having been kept awake several
nights by man walking tho floor over.
head, rushed up, the other morning, to in
quirc the cause. The reply came: MY
friend, arm the most miserable of men:
owe Mr.. Smith $500 and can't pay it,
"Ohw exclaimed Recket; lis that all:
Why don't you let Smith walk: you've
got the best of him." A new ligh, hr,kc
upon the mind of the unhappy debtor anil
there was no more floor walking over Beck
ct.
A young man at an evening party was
asked to "bring out the old lyre," when
he trotted out his mother-in-law.
''What shame that should be starv-
ing." exclaimed poor corsci-maker ont If
that have stayed the stomachs
Of hundreds.
While newsboy was hanging around
Dns of the depots yesterday a gentleman
engaged him in conversation aud irquir-
ed:
Do you go to school, bull"
"Yes. sir, and I'm in geography" was
he answer.
"!Ah, ha! Where does the sun rise.'
I'm the East"
Correct Where does II sct?''
"In the West.
THAT'S right. What is the ear lis sur.
face composed of''
''Land and water. sir"
fright again. Is the world ronnd OF
1at:"
LESS scc," unused the boy. sitting down
IN q bench. ''Well, ! know ded and
nam had a fight about that very thing,
,ut forgot which licked t'-D.tro,t Free
Press t.t.
RUSSIA. Belgium, and Portugal have all
atified the postal convention agreed TO as
he International Congress q, Bcrnc last
autumn. As the rates of domestic postaxe
20 up the foreign rates go down.
THIS manufactures of fitarms IN this