The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-10-01
The Boy i'm Church.

tempting, but are declueIy POISONOUS
The Boy in Church.
He was playing at the gate as went
past, and heard his father call out:
Boy, you want to gallop in here and
get ready for meeting!"
Shi!'' briefly replied the lad.
Sail I'll see you, young man, if
you don't trot in here lively! You'd
he as bad as Jesse POmerOy if left with
out father for three mOnths!"
Il would, hey?"
No sass, young man; it's time you
were getting ready for church :"
The minister was giving out his text
when the boy and his father came in.
There was considerable improvement in
the lads looks. His hair had been
creased and combed, he had on his Sun
day jacket, and there was religious
look in his eyes as he fell into the pew.
| ought to have listened closely to the
sermon; but | did not. The boy and
his father was in the pew next ahead,
and | couldn't help but watch him.
ave my opinion Of forcing boys of ten
twelve years of age to listen to ser
mons which not one adult mind in five
chance my theory on that boys actions.
He got along very well for the first
ten minutes. Then he asked his father
what time it was, and when the parent
replied with a warning shake of the head
the boy cast around him for something
to interest his mind. The preacher set
tied down to his discourse and the boy
settled down to his plan ofwcaring away
Il 10, 10
got hold Of his fathers silk hat, and was
trying to remove the band when the
parent took it away and bent over and
whispercd:
Boy, if you don't pay attention to
the preacher I'll break your neck when
we get home :"
The lad fixed his eyes on the clergy
man. He saw that the good man had
ion, and was well dressed. He heard
him make use of such words as "fortu-
itoUs," UnexamplCd, and "rcpellant."
and without being able to tell whether
they referred to new kind of string
beans or the gospel of Christian light,
he reached out and secured his fathers
cane. He pOunched at several flies,
crammed the silver head into his mouth
until he turned purple in the face, and
finally reached over and iobbed a woman
under the left shoulder. His father
then grasped the cane, laid it away, and
whispered:
Young man, I'll tan the hide of'n you
when we get home.o
The words were intended to make the
boy pay strict attention to the balance of
the sermon. He Strengthened up, looked
ut the preacher again, and tried hard to
understand the discourse. The good man
was trying to explain the difference be-
tween theoretical and practical christian
ity, and in two minutes the lads eyes
were fixed on the chandeliers. He counted
the number of burners over and over,
and forgetting himself for an instant he
began to sing. His father gave him a
kick and leaned over and whispered:
ooh. boy I'll make you hump the min
ute we get into the housew Knowing
that his father would keep his word, but
yet hoping to break the force of the pros
pective "peeling' by being real good for
the next half hour, the boy faced the
clergyman again. He knit his brows and
plainly showed his determination to I'M
Sorstand and interest himself in all that
was said. The good man was drawi NC a
parallel, and a dozen of the church mem
bcrs were half asleep. 1t was discourage
ing, and after two or three minutes the
boy got hold of a bit of paper, wadded it
up, stuffed it into his mouth, and Chcwcd
it awhile, and then balancing the wad on
his thumb he elevated it ten feet towards
the ceiling.
The law of gravitation applies to paper
wads as well rs to iron weights. This one
came down in short time, and, as luck
would have it, it struck the bald pate of
the halfasleep sexton The victim gave
Il start of alarm, whirled quickly around
and the boys father pinched him savagely
and whispered:
cob. I'll fix you for this! Just let me
get you home Oncc."
| COuldn' see how the boy was to blame |
He couldn't understand one word in ten
of the sermon; he saw dozen men around !
him sleepy; it was hot day; he was a
nervous boy and used to moving around !
and his own father had been gazing out |
of the window in an absent way for a |
quarter ofan hour He made last grand |
effort. He braced his nerves, shut his |
teeth hard, and sat as erect as new hitch |
ing post. The clergyman seemed to look |
right at the boy as he used twenty big |
words in succession, and the lad gave it !
up. He opened the pew door, and was
trying to cntice a small dog to come in
when his father awoke and whispered:
You wait-oh, you Just waltz
The exercises closed Just then, and the |
boy walked home behind his parent to get |
a dressing down for not having the mental |
calibre of Il full grown man, and for not !
sitting still and going to sleep like his
father.
MINED PICKLEs-Those who possess |
Il vegetable garden do well toward the !