Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-06-24
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

He who prays for his neighbor will be
heard first for himself.
Il METALLIC sort of marriage is one
where the brides tin is matched by the
br1degroom's brass.
PROF. II. r. PALMER's Musical Insti-
tute at Dunkirk, n. Y, begins July 49,,
and holds four weeks.
CHICAGO cannot boast of any Bunker
Hills, but then she has plenty of bunko
hells.-Chtcago Journal.
DONALDSON says he expects to be killed
This summer on some of his balloon trips.
He has unroofed barns and knocked down
chlmneys until he has presentiment of
shot, guns.
WHEN they build railroad the first
thlng they do is to break ground. This is
often done with great ceremony! They
then break the stockholders. This is
done without ceremony.
All" said John Henry, the other day.
England is lovely country. Marriage
contracts are still in fashion there, and one
lawyer can ask the other: Does your
client snore ?'''
A MIR. FRANCIS GALToN has been COM
pairing schoolboys in town and country,
and announces that at the age of fourteen
the average rural pupil is an inch and
quarter taller and seven pounds heavier
than his city cousin.
WHEN mother cuts her sons hair
with such nice precision and artistic neat
ness that he is ashamed to take off his hat
when he goes to bed, it is about time our
domestic institutions were overhauled and
remodeled. -Bazt5na0rer71.
STRAWBERRIES were recently selling for
three cents quart at Norfolk, Va
Growers allowed people to pick all they
chose, as it cost them three cents a quart
to pick the fruit and, consequently, there
was nothing left out Of the ruling prices
to cover expense of packing and shipping
CHARLES O'CoNoR doesn't encourage
tallors muchly, and his hat is probably
the worst hat exhibited on a good head on
Broadway. There is a tradition among
the New York lawyers that Mr.. O'Conor's
hat was presented to him on the day of his
admission to the bar and that he has been
wearing 1t and sitting on it alternately
ever since. The story is rather tough, but
they say that the hat is fearfully and won
derfully mellow.
They had good deal of trouble with
an elephant in Rhode Island recently. It
appears that they were feeding one end of
him in Massachusetts and the other end
got into farm-yard in Connecticut. The
neighbors came out and attacked the Con-
nectlcut end with pitchforks, and the
Massachusetts end got mad There was a
good deal Of excitement for time, and a
majority Of the inhabitants stepped over
into the adjoining States till it was over.
.-Norgoich Bulletin.
JONES gave lawyer a bill to be col
lected, to the amount of $50. Calling for
1t after while, he inquired if it had been
collected. Oh, yes!" said the LAWYER,
" | have it all for you" 'EWhat charge
AO1 HoiA0CClhS On! Sdlu the lawyer,
laughing, q I'm not going to charge YOU :;
why, have known you ever since you
were baby, and your father before you;
$50 will be about right" handing over
$40. " Well" said Jones, as he medi-
tated upon the transaction, cts darned
lucky he didn't know my grandfather, or
l shouldn't have got anything''
Mrs. BL1BK1Ns says she's not a-going
for to go to any of your stuck-up, fashion
able summer resorts this season, but she
and little Tommy and "my darter Mary
Jane" are a-going for to go down to Uncle
Daniels farm, where the milk is pure;
where no "style'' is seen or expected, and
where it costs less AN nothing for livin'.
But 'sposin' Uncle Dan and his wife
should not be fayorably disposed to this
little sponging arrangement? Has the
madam thought of that?-Erchange
THERE is avery good reason to suspect,
the New York Times says, that numbers
of those persons who are supposed to die
interstate do not so die in fact. In too
many instances the will has been de-
stroyed. The temptation offered is too
strong to be resisted. There is a bright
fire in the CRATE, and standing beside it
the finder OF the will peruses clause after
clause only to discover that a sum infin-
itely less than he thinks his due has been
bequeathed to him. Let him drop the
document into the flames, and, under the
assumed intestacy, ahandsome slice must
be his. The solicitor may. indeed, pro-
duce duplicate, which can be entered
for probate, and the criminal may thus
find himself defeated. But what them
The crime, at all events, cannot be brought
home to him. 1t was the opinion of one
Of those most experienced in testamentary
suits that the otfense was frequently per
petrated.
THE prince of haberdashers does bust
ness in Boston. He employs in his estab-
Gshment many women, and his regulation
is that when a female enters his employ
she is informed by the head of the firm
that whenever she is not serving custom