The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1875-03-12
WHAT THE WITS SAY.


/ Colonel Mcclure, of Philadelphia, holds
the Age, gentlemen,- Com. Adu. ~
The Lowell Courier says that Gen
/ Schenek's poker was intended only for a
country fireside. @
/ If you want to get an idea Of how the
Brooklyn courtroom looks during the trial,
look at a box of sardines. Boston Post.
BarnuIn advertises that he will 's hold
four races at the hippodrome.'' We pass
there is no use bucking against four aces
Boston Commercial Bulletin. 4 e
/ A New England man died before he could
| sign a will giving Harvard College $40, 600,
and not a Harvard professor has worn a
smile since.--Detrost Press. 81 @
a Sunday-school boy complains of the
dilatoriness of the officers of the school in
procuring Minister Schenck's new work on
sDraW Poker for the library
.toa07s Herald. p s't's "a
| If Mr.. Hicks is satisfied with the wording
| of this item in the Cincinnati Commercial,
we are "Birth-Hicks.-To the wife of
Allen M. Hicks: son. Thanks to Dr..
Cleveland. Mo. Republican.
The Worcester Press declares Senator
Logan's recent speech ssthe herald of a
linguistic millennium, when singular nouns
and plural verbs shall lie down together
and little conjunction shall lead them.
They are going to give Alfonso So, 00O,-
600 per year to serve as King. This is
shame, when there are tens of thousands of
young men who'd take the situation at s45
per month and board themselves. Detroit
Press.
Something is surely wrong. A man may
edit Journal, or write a thing that makes
million people happy. and yet be left to
0 hungry while man may fight battle
that make thousand miserable, and for,
that get wealth ana honor without end
Joaquin Miller.
Yes, boys" said Nancy Bell, female
blacksmith of Iowa, as she straddled a
horses leg and yanked off shoe, i" I was
brought up to the business and so was nv
mother and there amt been no Beecher
scandals.in our family; for a fact. ."-MM-
e0Guhee Neaos. -t. pa
Nellie Sartoris has joined the Washington
Gymnastics. 1t is not the pun-for we
have used that before-but it is our anxiety
for dear, darling Nellie, which irresistibly
impels us to remark that these gymnastics
are Sartorisky.-Cfn. Times
1t is rather amusing that, whereas every
woman in Plymouth Church is ready to
pledge her life that Beecher is innocent,
every woman of them all is quite suspicious
that Mrs. lllton is guilty. just how they
reconcile the thing is un known.-Port1a
Argus.
A Montana paper thinks there is an awful
fuss being made over the Beecher trial.
why" it says, "right out here is Bill
Casey. He went intoa family, married one
girl, spoiled mother, and has run away with
the third and yet there is no trial, no state
ment, no nothing, only just the old man
with rifle looking around after Bill.''-
S. 7. Bulletin.
''l on jlst ought to have been over to our
house last night 20 shouted one small boy
to another on the Campus Martius yester-
day. Why-making pictures ?" inquired |
the other. :" Not much Humph! No |
sir; our folks went away and we had pop-
corn, two kinds of sweetened water. milk |
and eamphor, drew the dog around in the
table-eloth and the hired girl told us eight |
ghost stories. ."-Detroit Tribune
A correspondent, who was an eve witness.
tellr us aout an old man in Hebron, aged |
seventy, and his son, running with all their
might to reach the top of Goureley hill, on
the evening of the Sd inst, the old gentle I
man thinking his house was on fire. The /
latter reached the top of the hill first and
was surprised to find that he had been misled |
by cloud, and was SO gratifed that he
knelt down and said the Lords PRAYER for
The first time. = Wash. County Post.
An English physician recently removed
section of a patient's liver, placed it on a
plate, scEaped it carefully, and returned it
% it's place, fully restored to its normal
action. This promises to work arevolution
n the treatment Of disease, and in few
Iears we will have an addition to domestic
literature something like this: Husband I /
wish you would take John S right lung down
@ the doctor this morning, and have the
middle valve fixed" or &C Win you stop in
% DOCTORS when you come home this noon,
md see if lie has Mary's liver mended, as
he wants to goout to tea tllisevening." The
'ractice will become so common in time, we
re sure, that none of the neighbors will be
n any way startled to see wife with a vail
led around her head leaning out of bed
DOM window, and shouting to receding
''Jer-e-nasaA Tell Dr. Scrapem
0 send up Willie's right kidney at once,
whether it is done or not He's had it there
more n week, and the child might as well
e without any kidney, and done with it.
)a'abeery Neaos. +d