Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1875-05-15
How Mr.. Coffin Spelled it.
[From the Detroit Free Press. |


The other evening old Mr.. and Mrs. |
Coffin. who live on Brush street, sat in |
their cosy back parlor, he reading his
paper and she knitting, and the fami-
ly cat stretched out under the stove
and sighed and felt sorry for eats not so
we'll fixed. 1t was happy, contented
house hold, and there was love in his
heart as Mr. Coffin nut down the news.
paper and remarked:
IL see that the whole country is be-
coming excited aboutspelling schools"
well, it's good to know how to
spell" replied the wife. Il didn't have
the chance some girls had, but pride
myself that l eau spsl; almost any
word that comes along"
"I'llsee about that" he laughed
come, now. spell buggy
"Humph! that s nothing-b .u-g g-y,
buggy" she replied.
Missed the first time ha la ~ he
reared, slapping his leg. re-
Not much-that was right Qll
at was, Ell? Well, I'd like TO see
anybody get two g's in buggy, would"
"But it is spelled with two g's and
any school-boy will tell you SO" she
persisted.
well, / know durn sight better
than that !" he exclaimed, striking the
table with his fist.
Il don't care what you know r she
squeaked; Il know that there are two
g's in buggy :"
do you mean to tell me that I've
forgotten how to spell ?" he asked.
1T looks that way"
ut does, Ell? Well, | want you and
all your relations to understand that |
know more about spelling than the
whole caboodle of you strung on a
wire!"
And / want you to understand.
Jonathan Coffin, that you are an ignor
ant old block head, when you don't
put two g's in the word buggy-yes you
are u
"Dou't talk that way to mel" he
warned.
And don't shake your fist at me! !"
she replied.
who's a-shaking his fist?'
You wereI'
| nat lle-an lnleruai lie
Don't call me liar, you old buzz
zard I've put up with your mean
ness for forty years past; but don't call
me a liar, and don't lay a hand on me y
DO you want divorce?" he shout
ed, springing up; you can go now,
this minute!
Don't spit in my face-don't you
dare do it, or III make dead man of
you" she warned.
Il haven't spit in your freckled old
visagc yet, but | may if you provoke me
farther!'
Who's got freckled face, you old
turkey buzzard?'
That was a little too much. He
made a motion as is he would strike,
and she seized him by the neck-tie.
Then he reached out and grabbed her
right ear and tried to lift her off her
feet, but she twisted up on the neck
tie until his tongue ran out.
Let go of me, you old fiend!" she
screamed.
cit down OF yer knees and beg my
pardon, you old Wildcat he replied
They surged and swayed and strug-
gled. and the peaceful cat was struck
by the overturning table and had her
back broken, while the clock fell down
and the pictures danced around. The
woman finally shut her husbands s
supply of air off aud Topped him, and
as she bumped his head up and down
on the floor and scattered his gray
hairs, she shouted:
You want to get up another spelling
school with me, don't you!
lie was seen limping around the
y,rd yesterday, stocking pinned his
throat, aud she had court-plaster on
her nose and one finger tied up. He
wore the look of a martyr, while she
had the bearing of victor, and from
this time out buggy" will be spelled
with two g's in that house.