South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1875-10-08
A Johnny Reb in Pennsylvania

a few days ago a group OF old Con
federates were sitting on one o. the gal
ieries of favorite lake shore watering
place spinning yarns of personal advon
ture during the Revolution" After Sc
veral had been spun it came the turn Of
quite demure gentleman, who had sorv,
cd with one of Louisiana's best Regiments
in Lees army and with that army had
invaded Pennsylvania. lie said:
You see, we crossed the Potomac
and thought we should have n nice time
helping ourselves TO buttermill. chick.
ems, and such things that had played out
completely in Virginia; but the very first
day after crossing, the adjutant of ON
regiment read to US General Lees order
against pirouting. and threatened severe
punishment 10 any officer or private
caught depredating upon the people,
We thought it was rather hard on the
American citizens, but we said old Mas.
So Robert knows best, and ir he SAYS
pay as you 60 why, we will do tin
Confederate money.
ut was near Greencastle when | and
two comrades of my mess strauuled aud
brought up al neat farm house, where
there was every evidence ofplenty in the
eating line. We were met at the door
by very matronly lady, rs neat and ii.
dy rs possible. AIR we said 20 onr.
selves, we are in luck now for Il square
meal We dolfed our old grey kepis
and entered the house and piled our ri.
IN n
are, rs You know, Confederate soldiers.
and consequently hungry; can you get
US up . little old-fashioned meal-some.
thing that will remind us Of home. rs il
were, Home, Sweet Home, where YOU
probably wish we all were lust NJ this
time" The lady declared there was not
a scrap in the house: all had been sent
away upon hearing that the Rebels were
coming TO rob, barn and steal We re.
moastrated; we said, why, Madam we
came here 10 fight like men. not 10 mo.
lest women and steal their bread. That's
what old Robert says. and we stick 10 it.
We are going to pay for everything we
get. Even this announcement failed to
move hcr-there was nothing in tic
house, absolutely nothing"
"My comrade, Wilson. father of n
family down in Rapides. had devoted
himself IS soon as we had entered the
house, TO playing with n little baby in
the cradle. lie now arose and said in
the poliiest manner possible, have you
any saltY This was evidently regarded
oh, yes! have salt but what under
the sun do you want with salt, having
nothing to eat?' oh, we'll said vii.
son, bring the salt and bag was at
once produced. Wilson very demure.y
carried the bag TO the cradle, turned
down the infantile bel clothing aud pro.
ceedcd to rub, right then and there, that
baby all over its back and front, and all.
Meanwhile the matron, standing with
eyes wide open, watched the operations
closely. Finally she exclaimed: Good
ness sakes, what are you doing with the
baby" oh says w, quietly, you have
nothing in the house 20 eat; we are hun
CRY, we came long ways just to see yon /;
we must eat. and when this baby is salt.
ed sufficiently we are going to cat him
1t is needless TO add that in a remarka-
bly, short space of time that baby was
ransomed by rs inc dinner being sery.
ed rs ever graced the boards Of Penn
sylvania farmhouse" -NetC Orleans Pic.
CHEATING Not PEoFIrABLE.-O One
morning respectable looking aud quite
wealthy farmer, who was generally
known as very close shaver. whenever
Inc had chance, brought his butter
handsomely done up in pound rolls
This was at n time when it was scarce
and worth three shillings. quick sales at
that price, which no doubt had induced
him to scant the weight Of each roll
unexpectedly the weigh master saw his
butter opened for sale. when he prepar.
ed his test scale 30 weigh Il while 10.
ing so the farmer in his anxiety, quick
as thought, slipped ten dollar gold
piece out Of his vest pocket, and while
the weigh masters back was turned.
thrust it into the top roll, as he thought.
unperceiyed by any one.
The roll was taken mp and it weighed
full weight, which satisfied him without
weighing ony other; but while he was
putting up bis scales. q Quaker gontlo.
man who had been standing near by and
had seen the whole transaction. came
up and inquired the price OF butter
Three shillings." said tho farmer.
'l'ut me that roll iu 10Y kettle" says
tho Quaker, pointing 30 the roll with the
gold piece in.
Farner-'I have sold that roll to o
friend"
"No thee has uot-tbce can awe tby
friend another roll; they are ali good
and weigh alike" lie Turned and cues.
toned the weigh master. who said 90
Che farmer: Gle was entitled % that
roll, or any roll he chose 90 take. If fhcy
were priced 10 him" with fhis tbo
Quaker took mp The gold roll and placed
10 IN his kettle. tlcn laid down three
shiIiings and ag he was going he cool.
~ told the farmer, Thee will not al
ways find cheating profitable"
I3Judge Ross, Of Montgomery. Pa.
has filed nm oDiuiOn ip fha COCO 80 (,...