South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1875-10-22
Living on the Old Man.

Inc frocUtence journal gives an IN
dignant father room to vent his woes
The story is appropriate for the CON-
mencement season:
. Mistur Editur: haint no edication
and thank God for it. Governor Lip
pitt said in bis kollcge speech that edi.
cation paid better than mortgage at six
per cent.
Governor Lippctt. ask You have you
got such things as three highly edicated
sous on your hands, what can't support
themselves, and all living on the old
MANI You know you hain't, aud "a /
have. guess l know ~ much about this
edication matter IA you do. l Gus the
day when liturary ambition broke out
in my family fit three sons to kollege
and II had not one left 70 stay on the
farm and work with me, we should all on
us be taken deep interest in The annual
appropriations for the poor OF tho town.
My Silas studied law, and all the writs
he has yet seen has been on hisselr. lie
has to swarc ont of Jail three times n
week, regular trips he makes Monday.
"Wednesday. Friday, like the Rhode Is.
land from Stonington.
lie has got "a pretty lettle Hollis as
ever you see, with legal work OF Smol.
let, Byron and all them great jurists mr..
ranged on shelve-the portrait of Rufas
Chote & that CURL what danced so good at
the, Iheatur, hung up on the walls. We
furnished him with all those nocessaries
of the legal profession, and although he
smokes and drinks beer. and does all q
young lawyer ought TO do to win conf.
depce and public esteem, it is no go.
lie belongs to ten secret societies, and
l,tell him wish TO God he'd jine one
So secret that his creditors could not
find him.
He buys all his tobacco in my name
for fear of it getting attached. and "a for
his beer, he drinks up five dollars worth
ut time, and then swears out on it.
lie Is getting low spirited now and
says that all the Blackstone he wants to
know about is the Black stone river. with
big stone tied to his heels, which made
his mother cry, but told him he was of
age, and | had no control over him.
Foor Silas. when he graduated at kol-
lege, his Grafton was on "A classical
edication indispensable to success in
life
His mother and cried i'm the Baptist
Church when we heard him deliver il.
we didn't know what for then. but hey
since found out. tell Slas that the on.
~ chance see ahead is to take TO drink
strong, then reform, and maybe the
temperance folks will shove him along
to keep him moral and steady.
My tothcr boy, Esra, studied for n
doctor. Thc FIRST case he had was IIaw.
kins, that was gored so badly by Oh
ney's big bull. Hawkins had six good
stiff horns aboard of his own afore the
bull muxcd with him, which made it n
bad case. Ezra wanted to be sure. so
he gave him all the medicine he had on
hand at once. just rs Hawkins was a.
dying he writ All AFFIDAVIT that the treat
ment he received from the bull was ge.
nerons and humane compared with that
OF his doctor. Hawkins widow sued
for malpractice. and her lawyer told the
jury that NJ. ID. stood for murderous
doses, and that Esra was drunk, and
that he was n doctor Of many drains
but few scrnples. At this Joke the
Judge and jury laughed like they would
split, and they gin a big verdict agin Is
ra, and he had TO run Off TO Californy.
lie droTs small drafts on me often, so
we know he's alive; which is more of
comfort to his mother than myself
When Esra graderated his Grafton was
on "hnollegn Purtection Against the
kalanities Of Life" His mother and |
cried bad then, and we have since found
out why.
But the sadest case ofall was our poor
little Calvin. At the time when un.
thinking youths are spent in laying stone
walls or hoeing corn, Calvin was seri.
ously thinking of the more important
work Of saving souls. lie entered col.
lege and was finally settled over large
parish at Hellburn Woods.
For few years things went smooth.
He not only saved other souls. but he
mcckly accepted his portion Of the trials
and discipline Of life by getting married
and raisin2'up family Of souls Of his
own manufacture.
Then his parish got tired Of him and
told him 60 quit and they turned him
off as they do ministers. by passing n
lot Of resolutions about the pain it gave
70 sundcr such tender and hailed ties.
tic and his hull family carne home to
Us, and arter we got about used up with
them, got Calyin's life insured for all
| could. and he sailed ten months ago "a
commissioner 20 lot OF ferocious cani.
balls. have prepared my mind TO sec
soon from the king Of the tribe a letter
something like this:
my DEAR SrR-Your son Calvin ar.
rived in good condition. While we re.
greet TO state that he disappointed rs
sadly in the amount Of gravy, It gives
me pleasure 90 all that he was tender
and small boned. Should any other
member Of your cstimable family feel
inclined 20 Christianize ia, send bin n.
long. We can stand il as long as you can
Poor Calyin's orashum was ON "The
final result Oft missionary enterprise"
My other son was not edicated. and
has staid on the farm, aud Is the sup.
port and comfort ofour declining years.
IFs Il On 4