Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-07-02
WHOLE NO. 521.
In what respect does Bishop resemble
a fish? Both live in the see.

true coin.
The Mollychunkemunk is the euphoni-
GUS title of a new pleasure steamer recent
ly launched on lake in Maine.
A darkey called at Owensboro', KY, the
other day, and wanted to know, docs
dis postorfis keep stamped antelopes:"
BEING AND HAVING The can getaways
want summer board, and the cant-get-
aways will be summer bored. .-Boston
Transcript.
GRATITUDE.-A bachelor made a will
leaving his property to the girls who had
refused him. For to them owe all my
earthly happiness
An Indiana paper complains that thu
young men of South Bend are fast sra
disagreeably wicked. They should ','e
a different bend in life.
Spotted Tail has appeared in his nag
suit 1t is neat but not gaudy- lue
blanket, pair of blue flannel a-SAse.ss
and white round topped hat.
The following legend is inscribed on the
front of a butchers shop in an inland
town of Pennsylvania "Kash pade for
littel HALVES nut mourn two daze old.
1T will come" said candidate for
Mayor of st. Louis, the other day, while
making a stump speech, "just as sure as
it was that Romeo founded Rome"
\ correspondent of western paper
having described the Ohio as "sickly
stream" the editor appended the remark,
''Thats so; it is confined to its bed"
Thine softens all things" except the
young man who parts his hair in the mid
die, and whistles on the street-car. Moth
ing can make him any softer than he is.
Graham bread is said to be excellent
| food for the children, on account of its
bone-giving qualities. You can feed a
child on that bread until he is all bone.
Mr. Spencer, of Moodus, Conn, cast
despairing look upon his twenty first child
the other day No wonder they call a re-
peating rifle ID Spencer.
One of the most interesting and hotly
contested law suits ever known in Michi-
gan arose from the fact that two women
claimed the same waterfall
a Nevada man who had seven homely
daughters, got a paper to hint that he had
seven kegs filled with gold IN his cellar,
and every girl was married in five months.
II thought twas queer he didn't holler
the last time hit him." said Mrs. Huse,
of Alabama, to the jury who were trying
her for the murder of her husband
A boy who is not strong enough to
spade up small onion bed between now
and the Fourth of July, will dig over
ten acre lot before breakfast looking for
bait.
Mrs. Laing, an Omaha woman, glided
softly up behind King Kalakaua and
stole kiss. But the joke of the thing is
that the Omaha wags passed off good
looking negro for the King.
They tried to scare a man in Missouri
by threatening to tar and feather him. but
he replied. Come on with your old tar;
I've been there six times, and I've got
receipt for washing it off,"
A Boston man has died and left two
hundred dollars to Universalist church.
1t would do an old-fashioned Methodist
preacher good to tell revival congrega-
ton just what has become of that man.
''How charmingly naive she is said .
young beau to crusty old gentleman
! "Knave" exclaimed the latter, gazing
through his spectacles toward the coquet-
tish beauty indicated, Il should say more
of Il fool"
Mrs. Dale, of Detroit held a hot buck
wheat cake over her husbands counte-
nance for several minutes, because he ex.
pressed his disapproval of free love doc
trinc "This family must be run on an
unsectarian basis" said Mrs. D.
General Schenck's new work on Draw
Poker" is enjoying great popularity in the
West 1t is used almost exclusively by
the courts in administering the oath to wit
nesses and swearing in the jurymen.-
Brooklyn argus.
Why should Mr.. Tweed give So 900, 900
for his freedoms That might impoverish
him; and if he did he would be kept in
the penitentary, for the reason that no
lawyer could be found to conduct the con-
cluding proceedings of the case.
A letter passed through the Detroit post
office the other day, bearing the following
superscription: ITO the Fat Kuss what
eddits the Pontyac weekly Gazette, and
send me dunnin letter in n envelope he
stole; Pontyac, Michigan"
A Philadelphia man says that when his
wife gets up in the morning with jerk,
ncglecting to do up her hair, goes silently
about her work, she is materializing a do
mcstic row which before night will shake
I the house to its foundation.
| \ clergyman in Iowa stood in his door
and warned donation party that the first
one who entered his gate would be a dead
man. He said it was bad enough to take
half his pay in DEANS, without having his
house destroyed Detroit Free Press.
mo, sir" angrily exclaimed Mr.. Scott,
I of the ST. Joe Commercial, as he waved
the agent toward the half open door
mo, sir; l want none of your revised
statutes. Give me the old Grccian and
Roman antiquaries, lifelike and human
crude Venus or a Cupid, and SIGH"
A Poughkeepsie parent lately induced
croupy youngster to make hearty meal
on buckwheat cakes and maple molasses,
/ but the latter proved to be nice syrup of
/ squills. The boy said he thought some
thing allied the mOlasses the very minute
his father told him to eat all he wanted.
A Plainsville clergyman insists that he
saw snake forty feet long and as big
round as Il barrel of whisky. A pretty
good sized insect that We have no doubt
that he saw it, but he unquestionably saw
the barrel of whisky before he saw the
snake. 1t seems more reasonable, some
! how
Only womans hair! Who has not,
sometime in his life, picked such golden
thread from his best coat collar, and felt
his heart beat the quicker for it? Or
gazed upon Il tress laid away in some
nook, and felt the influence of tender
memories? Only a woman's hair! And
yet we don't like it in Il biscuit.
When Detroit boy is out until halfpast
ten o'clock in the evening, and the father
says to him: "Boy, the first thing in the
morning will settle this with yous" that
boy arises at daylight, seeks the buck-saw
and wood-pile, and he never lets up for
moment until after his father has eaten his
breakfast and left the house. = Dst-sit
Free Press.
A gentleman who waited forty five min
utes in Boston eating house one day last
week for a steak, in paying the bill, re-
marked to the proprietor: II think l
Ill IL