Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-05-27
VARIETY AND HUMOR.
Virtue is the first title of nobility

Virtue is the first title of nobility.
Did you ever hear rich man sings
Some people bemoaningly say that
there is more crime than there used to be-
Yes, and there are more people; and more
ways for finding out and publishing their
misdoings.
81 the shoe too smallg" asked fond
swain of his sweetheart, who was moan
ing about cramped toes. "Oh, no! The
shoe is just right, but my foot is too big
that's ALL"
lis this the Adams House?" asked a
stranger of q Bostonian. lies" was the
reply, it's Adams House until you get
to the roof, then it's caves" The Worces-
ter Gazette heard this.
The Observation-Disclosures is the simple
name OF a Few projectile. What deadly
execution it would do if hurled into the
ranks of a spelling class!--Nac Iorh
Commercial Advertiser.
1t is good and safe rule to sojourn in
every place as if you meant to spend
your life there, never emitting an oppor.
tunity OF doing kindness, or speaking a
true word, or making friend. Seeds
thus sown by the wayside often bring
forth abundant harvest.
The Police Court Justice of Detrsit,
on whom the Free Press has brought the
condemnation of the English magazines
for "levity in court" is a serious,
methodical and dignitied lawyer, who
probably never made a joke in his life.
"Bijah" has not been Bailitf in the court
for several years.
| 1t was discovered that deaf man
carried off the honors at a spelling match.
Sympathi2ing with his intirmity the
enunciator had given the champion the
words to be spelled on slip of paper.
After the exposure by man who was
all ears the success of the deaf man was
not so pronounced.-N. 0. Republican,
"A Georgia newspaper says: "In
| Resaca there is u merchant part Of
whose business it is to collect the leaden
| bullets that are scattered over that tragic
field. He employs good many children,
who are steadily engaged in collecting
these bullets, for which he pays them
five cents per pound. These bullets he
ships to Baltimore, where he sells them
at seven cents. He told Capt Smith
that he had already collected and shipped
10000 pounds, and that he then had on
hand about 1000 pounds more"
Rather serio.comic incident oc-
Cured at station on the Richmond 81
Danville Railroad a few days ago. An
engineer having occasion to back his
train on TO siding to take on an extra
car a negro who was to do the coupling
got caught in between the bumpers of
the otf-car and the train, and, though not
seriously hurt, had the breath pretty
well knocked out of him and was unable
to move. Another negro, who saw his
predicament, crept up to the engine and
drawing the engineer aside said to him in
a confidential whispers BOSS, you got
him" "What?" "You got him, Boss,
sure enuf dis time. He cant move MOI
boiler needer.' Still puzzled, the En-
Quirer reporter again demanded an ex
planation, when the negro sank his voice
lower, and, giving knowing leer, said
"B6ss, ! specs you better run; nobody
seed YOU" and then disappeared. About
this time the fireman, who had gone
back, came forward and explained mat.
tiers, but it is evident that negro No.
thought the squeeze was done on pur.
pose,--Richmond (Va) Enquirer.
An exceedingly valuable dog has DR.
Ira Wetherbee, of Chico, Call and one
which Mr. Wctherbee should always have
with him when he INDUCES in the fascinat.
ing, but sometimes expensive, game OF
draw.poker. Mr.. Wetherbee became re-
Gently engaged in little game of this class
where the odds were immensely against
him because, as subsequently appeared,
one of the party at the table was arranging
the cards in shamefully partial manner.
This man, who was engaged in cheating,
contrived to extract from the pack of
cards hand technically known, as a
heart flush" with an ace at the head
which he laid in his lap to be used when
the pot" upon the table should assume
imposing proportions. The opportunity
soon came; the stakes were high, and
somebody was certain to lose a grea,
deal of money. Then the man with the
excellent hand in his lap "went better,
and reached down in his lap for the win
ming cards. His lap was empty. At the
same moment Mr. Ira Wetherbee felt
something cold touch his wrist and found
the cold object to be his dogs Iose. In
the dogs mouth were several cards. Mr.
Wetherbee took the cards, saw what
they were, and promptly played them
winning the pile of lucre upon the table
and making good at once his wasted Tor
tunes Truly, as has been already re
, marked on various occasions, the dog il
mans best friend. --Chicogo Tribune.