Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-10-16
NV Boil and How I Cured It.

"biler' Well, while I've had it I have
kept clean record of all the boil-cures
that have been urged upon me, and the
publication thereof I hope will result in
the early cure of all boils in this part oi
the universe.
My boil came the first part of the
month on my hip, and the first mar
who saw me limp. said,
"Halloal corns hurt your
said, " No, I've got q boil"
"Don't say? Well now see here
you 60 right home and get some Of
Dalley's ointment, and buy five cents
worth of lint and put it ON your boil
and it will be we'll in twenty-foul
hours"
thanked him, got on o horse-cal
and met another friend who urged me
by all means to make bread-and-milk
poultice and lie perfectly quiet till il
should come to q head, for says he:
"Boils are sore things, and they
don't like to be jammed around much. y
a I thought 30 too, but before 1 had
time to say 80, another friend reached
over and touching me with his cane.
said:
"Did I hear you remark that you
were suffering with q boil?
eyes sir, suffering is the word"
Well now, SEQ here John, says he,
call you've got to do is just to live il
down. Live we'll, eat plenty of beef
steak, mutton-chops, eggs and omelets,
and then if you will drink glass OF
hot water before breakfast--not warm
water You know, but just as hot as you
can stand it, you will drive all the i'm
purities out of your blood instanter."
Reaching my place of business, !
found three more boil-curers awaiting
me; the first man'said:
4" Now you just give me quarter
and I'll slip out to drug store and get
a box of mercurial ointment, and it'll
ease you in less than three minutes.
You see it drives the matter back in
the blood, and the blamed thing hos to
heal up in spite of itself" 4.
But while was taking out the quar-
ter another friend stepped up and
begged me not 10 waste time and
money on mercurial ointment; he had
had boils from o boy up to two years
ago, when an old woman on Long Is
land, friend of his mother-in-law,
had cured him completely; the matter
mustn't be driven back into the blood ,
but it must be coaxed out of it; if not,
there could be no certainty about the
thing.
"And now if you will just let your
boy 60 down to botanic drugstore, !"
said he, /" and ask for ten cents worth
of red cedar berries, and take and stew
them in pint of water and drink the
tea, you'll never have another boil"
The next man was o woman who had
listened to the last two prescriptions.
She now pSi ia aer usT, Her husband
had had boils all over his body, and
what she knew about the boil business
was only equalled by the late H. G.. in
the farm line. There was only one
sure cure for boils: few cents worth
of honey mixed with -four and the yolk
of an egg, would draw a boil to head
quicker than all the salves in creation.
My boy was standing, hat in hand,
waiting patiently to be sent for one or
oil of these lotions, when Wall street
friend stepped in and said,
Why, can cure you of dozen
boils in less than two days any time, or
at least I can on any one in the street.
You see we use Bears grease ON the
Bulls, and the gall Of Bulls to poultice
the Bears with. Jay Gould buys all
the dead bears OF the Central Park and
Barnum's Museum and keeps ten men
all the time at work boiling out bears
grease, and he often draws the sorest
boils to o head before the owners know
it," besides he knew men who, con-
tracted for oil the bulls gals that came
to Washington market. q"
I said, "My Christian friend, my
boil is too serious matter to joke
about and it's not your kind" I was
about to administer some needed ad-
vice to him., when an Irish tailor next
door dropped in and urged me to send
out and get o little shoe-maksrs' wax,
and wear il on my boil just one day,
and he would guarantee cure or make
no charge for his advice.
i sent my boy back with his hat, and
seixing my own i started for home, hop
ing thereby to get rid OF my torment
ors, who were rs mnch worse than my
boil as the boil was worse than Life
Insurance Agent.
/. But man might as well stave off a
chill, as TO free himself from boil-doc-
tors. Before / reached home / met an
old friend. who, after sympathizing
with me, informed me that If ! would
Just mix q tablespoonful of :" Iniun"
meal in Q little water, and drink it three
times q week, it would eradicate ali the
efiuvia from the blood and make me
feel like o morning star.
On reaching home ! found . Spirit
ualistic acquaintance, who had . mis-
sion, waiting for me. Imentioned to
him that I had . boil. Said he:
" Why. I've had hundreds of them
and can curo them eyery time: all Won