Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-01-29
CURRENT ITEMS.

4 BLUNDERBUss-Kis the wrong
girl.
THE kerosene oil-can is blowing up the
Japanese.
THE tax which presses most heavily on
hoolboys-Syn-tax.
WHEN is literary work like smoke?
When it rises in volumes.
Why is a dog like tree? Because
both lose their bark when dead.
WHAT word is that of which, if you
take away the first letter, all will still re-
main? Fall.
| SENATOR JONES spent his honeymoon
at Tubb's hotel That Tubb was full Of
i sweetness, sure.
4 THE production Of lace occupies 240
600 women in the departments of Calva-
dos and Auvergne, France.
A BOOK has been published called
+" Half-Hours with Insects" The au-
thor was not regular boarder.
Mrs ATTY GEN. WILLIAMS is wearing
/ the best clothes of anybody in Washing
ton this winter, Jenkins says.
OF 412 women who applied for relief
from the Nesmith poor fund of Lowell,
Mass, in 1874, 110 were deserted wives.
OVER 10000 Mennonites have already
their homes with us, and their immigra-
ton to the United States is on the IN
| crease.
| FORKS came into use in 400, but there
is a man living in the woods of West Vir-
ginia who never saw one, except the forks
of the road.
| OF 92,112 persons arrested in New
| York city last year. 89,368 were able to
read and write and only 3,104 were un-
able to do so.
THE doctors couldn't tell whether a
Cairo man had bilious collie or hydropho-
bia and allowed him to die of infamma-
tion of the lungs.
SHEEP in Australia and Tasmania have
increased within the last six years fron.
IS, $685. ,09S to 45, 796, ,270, and cattle from
1874, 1873 to 5,123,45S.
MARSHAL BAzAINE's wife is no longer
heroine She is brave and all that, but
she won't get up in the night and shake
down the coal stove.
THE Paris Constitutional says "M.
Bismarck endeavors to maintain radical
ism among us as an heir would encourage
his uncle's bronchitis"
JUST 26,430, 500 cards, in 9,147 pack
ages, were shipped from the postal-card
factory in Springfield, Mass, during the
quarter ending Jan. 1.
ALLUDING to New York fashions, the
Herald says: -" In some of the new styles
there is no change. Poor relatives are
cut the same as last year"
IT is now proposed to improve the
sand blast by using small grains of shot.
They cut more rapidly because they are
not broken by the impact.
VoLTAIRE said of his sweetheart: 81 She
was so beautiful that | raised my
long, thin body and stood before her
like point of admiration"
A YOUNG man in Waterville has found
q lady's gold neck chain, and advertlses
for the owner to come and be elapsed
around the neck.-R0a1oe Sentinel,
ADAM KLEIN, q frisco barber, being
refused by Johanna Dilter, rendered her
a choice between wedding and funer-
al She merely slapped his face.
THE English are making little progress
in base ball Whenever one Of them
hits ball he runs away with the bat,
and they all keep on smoking while they
play
THINK of that! When you take girl
to spelling-school in Nevada you have to
ride twenty -four miles, and she expects
you to keep your arm around her all the
time!
A DUTCH dwarf is now being exhibited
in Paris who is scarcely three feet high.
He speaks five languages perfectly and
is the proprietor of five houses at the
Hague.
1T rs estimated that the aggregate
number of Northerners visiting Florida
this season will reach 100000 or some
thing rather in excess of the total for
last year.
Trrrr Tlvrjc x1rhn m
tage. He can undress in cold room and
have his bed warm before a woman has
got her hair-pins out and her shoes united
Detroit Free Press
THEY are laughing at New Ipswich
Mass man who kept little "ardent" in
a milk-can, and by mistake filled it up
with milk, sending eight quarts OF weak
punch to the Boston market,
A scHooLMAsTER thus describes
money-lender: "He serves you in the
present tense, he lends in the conditional
mood, keeps you in the subjective and
ruins you in the future tenseV
In Missouri there are about 748,O00
children between five and twenty-one
wears of age, about $500 schools, about
10000 teachers, and 38000O enrolled
scholars.
THERE are few sights more inspiring
than the spectacle of small boy shoot
ing along an alleyway with about four
feet of bulldog fastened to his trousers,
and floating in the breeze behind him.
THE spool" just dissolved, formed by
the New England cotton manufacturers
for the lessening of production, embraced
1874 mills and 100000 spindles. 1t was
in existence for only about two months
THE French Government has put
down smuggling dogs" the friend OF
man was trained to cross the frontier
between Belgium and France with three
pounds of tobacco round his neck for
collar
THE Warm Spring Indians were aban-
doned at Troy by their agent, $I5O Id
debt for board They wanted to put on
overcoats, smoke, play seven-up and read
the daily papers, and the agent couldn't
stand it.
A RHODE ISLAND railroad having been
sued for killing Johnson Day proved
that he was too lazy to even hurrah
for liberty on the Fourth of July, and
the widow received only $500 damages
where SO 900 were claimed
A DISCIPLE of Darwin at the Sydenham
CRYSTAL Palace writes: Yesterday 1
passed an hour watching cbimpanzee
nearly as large as a child ten years OLD,
whom it SO strongly resembled in its ac-
tions as to humiliate me by the incon-
testible relationship"
CR1ssY HEcKER, living at Whites Val
lev, Pa, deliberately burned herself to
death the other day while under the in
fuence of an extraordinary delusion.
For five or six years past she has at
times been subject to temporary insan,
ity, during which she imagined she had