The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1875-10-22
Ny Wife's Opinion of the Agricultural
Fair

VALLEY OF HUMILITY, Oct. 18Th, 1870
MR. EDITOR: business kept me at home, but
my wife and daughter went to the Fair in high
spirits last Thursday morning. We all had
something ON exhibition. l had horse, a
COW, some sheep and pigs and farm products F;
my wife had jelles, pickles, preserves, bread
mems of needle work. Every one of lis expected
premiums.
My wife, indeed, had worked herself into the
belief that she would get q first prize for every
entry, and she went off with smile enough on
her face TO go round large family. ] moseyed
round home all day at my leisure, feeling COM
Portable and making little dialogues between
myself and neighbors, after the fair, as follows :
Neighbor A.-"Ah, old friend, so your horse
got the premium"
MySelf.-"Yes, the Judges were compliment.
airy to Billy"
Neighbor Al see your COW was also num-
Der one"
"MySelf-"So it seems"
Neighbor A.-"But that's not all-your sheep
aud hogs, too, are first-class."
MyScJ.-"Well try to have the best Far
mers ought to be careful in their choice of an
imals for stocking place, &c"
AS night drew on began to grow very anxious
for news and gladly heard my wife come with
her report.
"Well just as | expected" exclaimed my
dear Tabtha in a jcrky out-of- breath sort of
way emphasizing ''iusr' with extraordinary
vim.
"Just as ! expected" she repeated, as if this
phrase would bear any amount of repetition at
the present moment.
She settled herself in chair and again said,
"just as | expected from the very first"
Now as she had expected prizes for her
self and family, and her present manner was
not like that of one who hud received prize,
but for all the world, the manner of very dis
appointed person, ! could not see the point of
| her reiterated assertion.
This phrase seemed to be the plug and when
| fairly out, she spoutcd as follows:
"You know, Joseph, | always was against
sending anything to the Fair" (she had coax-
ed me all summer to send, and in fact wanted
me TO enter near about everything on the
| place.
81 told you it was n humbug. Now YOUR
| horse Blazing Billy that ought 10 take first
| prize at the centennial itself, was not noticed,
and old Smike's criitcr-spavined all over, rli
be bound-got the premium. Won't those
Smike people be stuck up? And that Smike
girls face is so homely, 1t must ache. And
| your sheep and your hogs and your cows and
everything you bad there, just passed over and
not word said"
"Ycs, ma," broke in our daughter, 81 heard
one of the hog judges say, The man must be Il
fool who sent such pigs TO a fair"
My wife murmured, you see, Joseph, those
animals Of yours were better than anybody
clse's and there was Partially shown" Here
| she made pause.
"Partality shown" she continued in display
| type of circus size. 81 repeat, partialIty
shown" in voice to be reported only in lie tiers
! ten feet long and wide as II gate post
l soon found that this startling divergence
from her normal condition was not all owing
to my discontinue, her own illlucli had much
| to do with this mental cyclone. would you
| believe" us if belief were next to impossible,
hut TO oblge her ought to try. "Woud YOU
believe" with two pages of Fox's martyrs in
her face, she said it. "Woud you believe" as
If it was my last chauce at orthodoxy, third and
last call, 81 did not get single prize either" The
whole cat was out now. "There was my iellies,
that everybody, but the judges, said was the
best on the ground-not mentioned. Now il
there's anything humble, obscure person like
me can make, it is bread. know Pm nobody
can make as good bread as the best" Another
| emphatic pause-a calm centre of the cyclone
| She resumed, "The Fair is humbug; the right
people don't get prizes and the wrong ones do"
and she settled heavily back in her chair as if
she had several Judges under her and wanted to
bear down on them.
81 always expected TO get nothing and Pm
not bit disappointed" and she wrcStled in her
chair rs if she were crushing few more judges
"But it's always the way-the wrong people
get the lead in everything. If had been judge
I'd have acted fair to all. | should have given
myself the first prize of course, as what offer
ed was first class, and you, Joseph, should have
had first prizes, for any body with half an eye can
sec your STOCK is all nulnDcI one. But the Judges
Just gave prizes to their best friends" and she
gave another vigorous squirm as if dcmolishng
the whole crop of judges with one final effort.
l was indeed humbled. The whole family was
more or less brought low. Even the horses,
oxen, sheep and hogs were humbled. Soemnly
l said, "Let's call this place the valley of hui.
miity. We cant do anything extraordinary
not even make bread We don't own anything
Acknowledgements even pig Agriculturally
considered we are dead-let's order collins"
But my wife objected to making light of the
matter Our failure was the more intolerable
from the fact that We had 80 ostentatiously
made preparation of things for exhibition. She
especially, had used high tone in talking of
our entries and not to get even second pre-
MUM was sore defeat But that's the way
We all think our own things better than any.
body else's and are quite shocked when in pub.
lie competition 1t is found that our penates are
no higher gods than other households boast.
Yours, lugupriously,
JOSEPH KETcHUM.
p. 8. We may exhibit at the Centennial. If
VIC get prize there, you will hear from it.