Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-03-23
VARIETIES.

Fashionable altinlore belle-Miss
X, wore boil on her nose. But the
boil was not generally noticed! -
Elijah, wasT not vain man, yet
history relates that he was taken mp
with his clothes. Ax.-rg
All well, those fellows with fast
horses are liable to be run away
with-that's one comfort.
"What are you doing there?" said
a grocer to fellow who was steal
ing his lard. "I am getting fat"
was his reply.
What is the difference between a
church organist and the influenza? +?
One stops the nose, and the other
knows the stops. q oa5 soF snsat
Mrs. Partingtop, reading ~of the
strike of the wire drawers, remark
ed:-ssAh me. what new -fangled
things won't they wear next.
Life viii seem brighter when it is
known that the Gar of all the Rus
sias picks his teeth with sjack,knife
and is about to go crazy ike some Of
the rest Of Us. 2..I uor-I.
The Herald continues to insist that
81, ho d p1no
only on payment of the money he
hooked. Evidently it wants to break
the old mans heart.
Parson Nasby, it is said, has been
yearning for the postmastership of
Toledo, and will hereafter, atfix to
his signature the significant words,
"Wich wasn't postmaster r.
Reading the great Surgeons dec
laration, ga cigar is thing to thank
God for" a school boy bought ci
gar. He was afterwards seen hang
ing over fence, but he was not
giving thanks.
There is gruff old party who
lives opposite to a church where the
members of the choir meet twice a
week to practice, and who says if the
singing affects Heaven, as it affects
him, there'll be no use of going there
for happiness. s...r
A colored gentleman went to con-
suit one of the most "high-toned"
lawyers in Boston, and after stating
his case said: SNOW I kno's yOus
lawyer but l wish you would
please, sar, jiss tell me the truff bout
dat matter"
According to a Paris letter hun
dreds of American mothers are there
seeking titled Frenchmen Tor their
daughters. The old ladies doubt
less think that if they must add
fool or two to their families they
may as we'll have the blooded kind.
The ways of women are past find
ing out. 1t is said that the ladies of
Jacksonville, Tenn, have a fashion
of tying up their fingers when young
gentlemen are expected to call, and
when they very naturally ask the
cause they blushingly reply, 81
burned them broiling the steak this
morning." The result, as chron-
icled by the local paper, is that sew
eral young gentlemen have burned
their fingers by believing the story.
A Detroit insurance agent hired
boy the other day to mind his office,
and, went, to dinner leaving the
youth in charge. When he return
ed he found that the lad had whit
tied one of the table legs almost i'll
two and dissected the cushion of the
swinging chair. He was greatly
annoyed, and spoke sharply, when
the boy burst into tears and replied:
"If YOU don't want to let feller take
any comfort I'm going to leave"
A wicked boy, upon whose shout
ders his mother was expressing her
resentment with both slippers, felt
too proud to cry, and kept up his
courage by repeating to himself,
ntwo soles that beat as one"
A little girl in Milwaukee distin-
guished herself the other day by
lighting fire with roll of paper
she had seen her father stuff away
in an odd corner OF his bureau. The
roll contained something more than
eleven hundred dollars.
A lecturer, addressing an audience,
contended, with tiresome prolixity,