The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-04-17
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

critic says Lydia Thompson comes back
with the light OF other days around her Modest
people will be glad to hear that she has some
thing around her.
Dr. Holland Timothy TitcombJ is lccturins
on The Jews. They grin and bear it.
George Washington may have been very
smart man. bnt any stupid boy can get ahead OF
him by buying threccen: postage stamp
So,3istowa HerdM.
In one part of Norway the longest day is three
months, and yet there is no daily paper in the
whole section. Neither is there monthly mag.
azine, DIS no publisher could afford to bring out
three issues day.
Dictionaries exchanged for caramels,' says a
placdrd in Chicago candy store.
Appropriate time for the Irishman, oath--'By
the powers of mud"
You can get more snow for five cents in this
climate than in any other in the known world
BTbShiTc COUrtCr.
No Beccher trial to-day You can safely place
this paper within reach Of your mOthcr-n-law
minneapolis NdH
Query: If they were to pass prohibitory law
in Illinois, could Beveridgc continue to be the
Governor?
The Cincinnati rom0eytml says that Maggie
Mitchell is a Jefferson in pctticOats.' Which,
according to the eternal law of compensation
makes Jefferson Maggie Mitchell in pantaloons
In the animal kingdom the male is the pro
overwhelmingly stock journal.
That's SO; now there are fowls, for ms ancc
II is the rooster that lays Ike eggs.
The DanJry Ne,cs asks What can be saddcr
than TO read that three young women, under
eighteen, were arrested for drunkenness, thC
other night? To read that six young womel
were arrested there for drunkenness, would b'
twice as sad, we should say.
The latest indoor amusement is termed IN,
Printers Delight and is performed in the iol
lowing manner: Take a sheet o. note paper
fold it carefully aud incosc a bank note sulIi
cicntly large to pay up arrears, and year in ad
vance. And what adds immensely TO the feat
is TO send along the name Of a new subscriber
with cash TO balance, Keep your eye on tn,
printer, and If you detect smile, the trick j.
q success. Try it!
An ambitious Texan having read -omcwhcr,
about the 'Popc's bull, announces in one of N,
papers published in the interior OF hesitate tha
he has threc-ycar.old hrindle steer, blind o
one eve, that he will match 10 whip any bull tn,
Pope can produc.
There is no period in a boys history when d,
so earnestly prays for manhood, SO he can Ice
pirate or run for supervisor, as when his mothc
invoicing the pockets Of his Sundaypants, finds
with ms Sabbath schoOl lesson, a billy, an,
Schcnck's poker ruls.-.KdrStdH N@spg,r.
This unhappy country is beginning now to b
agItatcd concerning the base ball CHAMPIONSHIP
lIr $50. II the mothers Of these champions ha
struck for their first bases with a little NOR
strength Of arm and purpose, the foundations o
this mighty naisancc might have been broke
up.
Hannibal lIamlm is the man who is rcspon,
Die for doubling the postage on transient news
papers. When he dies, the boys will stick two
cent stamps all over his tombstone.
Galy has burglars who belong in Joliet
From what information can be had upon IN
subject a { so short a notice, We think We cal
safely say that there will Doe no hardness of feel
ing upon the part of Joliet Il they are never r.
turned.
The voice Of the turtle is heard in the land
Also the voices Of several women warning thci
bct.cr-halves that if they desire To have pcac
at home they had better come right along an
Get up that leach TorktH .Nc,ry.
The prepared pages for country newspaper
knows DO patent insides' sometimes make ride
Ulous blunders. Net long ago the cable al
nounced the bad news that the Pope has Ia
another chill aud shortly afterward came lroi
forty-seyen Illinois newspapers with patent il
sides the announcement that 'the Pope had Ia
another child
Augustus, dear said she tenderly pushin
him from her as the moonlight flooded the bay
window where they were standing, 4 think 20
had better try some other hair dye-your Inous