The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-01-21
WHOLE NO. 1443.
Miscellaneous.
strong minded woman will always
be speaker of the house


| Love without money is something lik,
) patent leather boots without soles.
, Great works are performed NOR.
through perseverance than strength.
Young folks grow most when in love
1t increases their signs wonderfully.
} A good name will wear out; bad ons
may be turned; nickname lasts forever
The charity that begins at home ISM
the kind that covers multitude Of
sins.
Each beau picks leaf from a coquette;
so that thorns only remain for the hus-
band.
1t is frequently remarked that girls
who dress 'loud' soon come to talk and
act loud
A Detroit hotel porter has to remove a
diamond ring from his finger before lay
ing hold of big trunk.
Now is good time to buy thermome-
ters. They are lower now than they
have been since last spring.
A number of Alma (Wis) sportsmen
who chartered a steamboat to go hunt
ing returned with just one snipe.
The rude forefathers of the hamlet
are not known in Utah, but there are
often four rude mothers in family.
There is a man in New Jersey who has
not been to church for twenty years. He
boards at the State Prison, Trenton.
Rather than see it neglected, thrifty
Eastern farmer is raising potatoes on the
grave of Tom. Paine.-C Courier-Journal.
The Young Mems Christian Associa-
ton of Chicago talk of moving to some
city where it won't be such hard work.
A Tennessee funeral was delayed for
half an hour to allow horse trade.
Business before pleasure was the motto.
In some parts of the country when
woman begins to get red at the roots of
her hair, it is regarded as storm-signal.
The man who three years ago married
a Newport belle says he begins to re-
alize that thing of beauty is jaw for
ever.
Mrs. Partington declares that she does
not wish to vote, as she fears she couldn't
stand the shock of. the electrical fran
chise.
A Wisconsin man recently killed SIX
skunks in one day After interviewing
the first one he became reckless and SO
kept on.
When we see a man begging his to-
bacco, we feel like reminding him OF the
old adage, that beggars must not be
chew-sers.
Artificial butter making has never
proved success. The difficulty lies in
putting in the hairs so that they look
natural.-Ierre Haute Gazette.
They have a new test for intoxication
over in Canada. When man can pro-
nounce reciprocity" without tripping,
the police let him go.
There is a Connecticut widower who
declares that nothing reminds him of his
poor, dear wife SO much as to live within
ear-shot of saw-mill.
Another Atlantic cable has gone to the
bottom ofthe sea. Whales with rheuma-
tism in their knotjoints can now try the
boasted benefits of electricity.
One by one the roses fade. 1t is now
boldly denied that men who wear long
hair are possessed of any more talent
than men who have it shipped close.
A young fellow in Grundy county,
Iowa, wanted to charge his girl 20 cents !.
for his picture, informing her at the
time that it originally cost quarter
A Milwaukee womans bonnet costs,
upon an average, about SIS, but she has
the bill made out for $50 or $40, in order
to show it to the woman next door,
The humor of thesclerks of.the Bangor
(Me) Postoffce, finds expression in stick
ing postage stamp on the floor and
laughing at the people who try to pick it
up.
Sr ~
isn't dead. II Carl chooses to remit $4 so
to this office for the obituary notice pub
lished, he will save himself the costs of
suit.
Marble men now make small tomb
stones by the quantity, with the epitaph
already cut Didn't know it was load
ed" They leave blank for the name
and age.
Brockport man dreamed recently
that his aunt was dead, and the dream
proved true. He tried the same game
with his mother-in-law, but it didn't
work worth a cent.
An experienced teacher says that it is
impossible for a Sunday School scholar,
with boil, to satisfactorily fasten his
mind down even upon the simplest
of the sclieme of salvation.
A minister who came INTO church du-
cings a sudden shower requested another
to preach for him as he was very wet.
mo" said the other, preach yourself;
you will be dry enough in the pulpit"
When an Arkansas judge aseends the !.
bench the first thing he does is to feel
under the desk for the whisky bottle,
and if the tipstaff has forgotten to have
it filled, legal proceedings that day don't
amount to much,
DR.. Carpenter asserts that Newtons
law of gravitation is mere hypothesis
This is an age of disenchantment Even
the man who falls in love with beauti-
Iul head OF hair too often discovers it
mere hypothesis too.
Canadian murderer wanted them to
put off the day of execution, owing to
his being afflicted with the toothache;
but the sheriff said he'd got to go to mill
1ext day and he couldn't possibly accom-
nodate the prisoner.
When Chicago woman answered the
loorbell and was informed that her hus-
oand had been drowned, she sank down
md whispered: And the bill for $50
worth of false hair is to come up at four
} 'clock-ooh-hoooohl"
Prudent mother-"Don't look at Prof
Van Bungs so, Dora. dear, or people will
think you are in love with him. Dora
who is inconsolable for the loss of her
darling poodle)-"I can't help it, ma; he
S the exact image of poor Mopsyl"
Miss Kellogg says that American girls
When one of them puts her mouth to
nj in he hnl To hA