davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1875-09-09

Dt.ies 1ltesks ~ lest aRb f6sn felt leNsea Saeru %
vnRbrsplts etdrtuuss. unb Blutretateun8srtittd aner'
saant, ba q iebes anbers 6elmittel ettftr Mrt BET pet:n
abttriFt. DDS Rseeps ~ bttftru ~S6webtf& 8itters" goa
lan8s Set en- 4efS @tbttmute anb III q NOD teSt. 8u.
erf tuurbe Il BON ben Rabfpmnen bs Grfnbers fit cos
Apbs 5nname ~nberltefrt, anb Ia u har&aas unmbslGa
kas trssnb Sraans ausu benz Gtst ttirar bds Ssr p
bes ,,G&wsbtf4 Bttters" ieane, sbts III Is pt.a- fdHe,td
nd6abmsn uaS {hle4t senue FAB, bte @sflAebett tbra
RttnsnS&eA surt ben gtrtauf bteftr seGlf&ter gadat-
saunsee 10 ,era5ren, pelte dtnliH %ausfetea ant fGnedtn
ut. sos t8tt ~SSwtbtf& Sttters" sber br @tfanbbdi
fmabli& fnb, w6brrnb bas agentlt&e unb e4te -G6pe.
bat. "a btes ~bfpabers ut4tis II, sks BITE MafmertfanS
stt bs publttuMs sarauf ttneels.ft, bas itser 8Iaf&a
stl&e oas e6te .SGpebtf& Bitters" eHttdlt, bic Rarnspe
, 1875-09-09
Waf6er MbaanS. s Ms"' as. Hss

nA1 CAaHM NRaAs NEa Tut N~apH1Itrs
A9snten une 8ertaWfer!
9snt9 Qnarp Sse&sr'8 Janilien . 3eitune tritt tbe
9erbtsS alien an unb eiebt ,bIen Nbonnenteu spei Der
srE6ttn unS i6pafsn GIeosrapbi Gu, Spei aubsrt IN.
sisbenhsn Sileeru. Delhe iptprt MpBane fnpen. pom WlTs.
aupsrfUn ais Ssssutate Az ibrent Wide awake" une
Fast asleep. &0entsn babsn immenisn u Iisls SIN
ben lsi@teled uap i6Snfen YeltIn s.@easnitanb uno be.
;atIsn ftpr bpte @Smninipn. Aso r trabers pesr meme
Nbpnnent srbdlt iptOrtJp i l66ne Hilber. 6tnlaua-
It6er Qprratb ju aueenblidli2er @ert.nouua sOrbanbsn.
Die 3eitune ieltf fsbt inter 5dmilien : SCurnalen obne
TIRES Slei&sn ba. une 1t 10 popular, eaB fe bic srpete
Berbreitun9 IN Der &eit bat! Nas beits ltterariide
Talent wtrp perwenoet. @bwarp @eslsfcn's Grabbing
fanei serabe an; tts fruteren 8apitsl + erhsn ben Gtpns
nentrn s%eltsfsrt. MRS. Stewe's Ian %erisbnte 3Clss aut
My wife and IL. be9tnnt NIT benz neurn Sabre. SRI
asnb Ssmanp. Der elm eutes Saldr peer elm unabbdn taes
@sihatt plnftt. iDllte fur @treuIare unb pretsltfte ib
wsabsn an s. -. Tpre u. So, Nsw CERT. 4gei4Cf.
s SslS @s S' .'ransis S,a'''"ai'N genten perlanBt
, 1875-09-09

Ietbet ~AerIertss, wef&u NIT DssptpHa beDafc 10. Sci
teraual 10 ii, BET stn.m lueulti6en Wlable mt benz fat
anbeissbaren gerlanssn ~ Fseu, earaflbstl ~ asbmss
ans btaao1 bur5 Bite 8ur6r baron das9efbloRen gu ietn.
1as bera GenuFe fbneu uus f&r fardtbare SGmasss
feleen. Dp& ntdt auetn br patteut letbet, fsabern mti
I'm aae 4aussenpHen, ba a sntmer abla eanIe. tets q.
uas III tabeln Hnba. 60 aa< su Dpspsptttsr I'D felba
xnb fsine san,t umeebans. Ds sladlt&s 8rsbltdtsti
Aer RIeinen rirb ni&t ldn8r stSalbd, BITE sanje pdus
Ithiett wirh cine ~freablpfe nnh ben patenttn brtngt has
DtwuetTetn, bat bas 2ebea !tm dne eaa tR anh flba sh
Rd&Ren tbn rndbtn, atbt itltea 3ur gerjretaaas ans r
car saua S~tlbamprbs. aba saran a.
, 1875-09-09
Ieine NHan3enffnHe.

GHfaaIttn istn WlerfuE, WlissraIifn sets NStitas
Trssttmtitd
O. I'D bura @t5runsen Der 0trsauaussoraant anstt'
Gen:
TerRsyfuus, tnntrt bdmorrtoibtn, Slataafrlns pa&
BEN Rppfe, faur.r @elhmad, utotIitit, Gobbr.nutn,
Nibrptnen seatn Nasruus, Beflbi pom u.tertuauns
sab 6&wes I'm Was.n, laur,s %SutffOssn, auf- uub
abpsstn her Wlasensrubs, S6pinhti, ftnsat@ uns
fGrtrs Gttmtn. 6triiudunstn. QUAR- n tnfbrs6 n uns
Gefabl bts Grftdsns bsint gitetn, abrdbme pf Ses-
fsaN, fGpar,t punttHtn Shu fds 9th .tnss Sdteiess
ssr ben suesn, 5tsber uks cyrnpftr Stmyi i'm Spsf,
g2ansel an 6twee, etlss 5arbun6 her b-at unb BET
2uatn, Gbmrtt In Scr St;tt, IN Der Rrun unb Zen Sit;.
bern, slSyit&t Qnfdat soa 6tst UNI 6rsrpen i'm aisil4
sBtuise Dcfsn Srn RdeTdc's 9:dtH btirttsn sGs 81
aeSa ssu 40 ben stnsnattn Stbrnnesa.
90 vei8 rs 0emfs far bic G6a6)tel
, 1875-09-09
OH Dominion pawpf(1if
tNpmpany.
&c q d 81 E 10 : q t.

Giefe Company ptrh etneu itrer na@fCleenotn pradt-
pOaen Dampier, Slp Dpminion. @SDanote, Jfaac
Bell, htdDmone, M!bemarle, SattCras unb
Oepr c YS. Sicer (m SauJ an ieeem 4terfaa,
6reUa8 -urb SamstG8 bel Sc9walsr ~abtabIen
lageu.
fur oiee NOute aetaut.
Sic tuben pTa6tVpae Salerus, 6 le NUOms uup
Sape. Simmer.
Die speifea, ~gsquemlt6teit unb Ssoisnuns fpb UNI
ubsrtrefitN.
Q1aarsn, wsl6e nit tttier 9inie Serfanpt nereen, Ian.
Den r~e9elm6bis in giep.Yers an otr Iberesdlsu @isr sr
Company, 81 Diprtb 0fiper,
6ra6t tur 9laRe meter ais Nsp-gprt perpen Toned
~befSreert unp mirc baTlr atbts ais or pirtii6 ~eebabien
uut0lten bere6net.
S6tfs pisfer 9inis ~gerIaHen giprtUlt UNI 5 ubr Brad.
mtttaes pabreap pes QDtnters.
SraGt an%geRpmmen bis b ubr Mbenbs ieben Gag.
gDseen peitsrsr Ausfunft penee man lid an
@eorse SS. Mnen u. Co., &esnten,
5feb. SIfes 9ompanp's gDp0rpss. Apdelts.
, 1875-09-09

Mt,il1ionen M EN- den be5eu9en,
bab 9r. u ng. &0nig'S ) q III urger
Sropfe II bas bette Dtittel ge9en Slspeplia,
Mfageu= 1nb 0eberle.oen iiub. SIS ift Elm
alte8 oeutihes 0eilmittel, ieit beinabe einem
halben Sabrbunpert i'm @ebrauhe unp arlers
fanlt ais eine mirflame Samiltenmebisin.
, 1875-09-09

gettenf Darum h. fHr.dltasa G&mersea susbaItS
Hslae bisfs 8rantbet nit IT'D brtnst. rpenn In benz yS@T4
btlH Btttsrs" Elm 6etlmittel sebpttn uirb. bas Stber lei6
erlaneen tann2 So ltnbert bic S&rner,en icfcrt unb ID
fprtstIssteua @ebrau&t rirs br Patient BON DoSs 10
sDs1t f1 better befnbsa bs tine s1nfdnetee Saluns sr'
stelt Ia. Eauisxbt ftsnsa ben 3as. an vd8ea fs stran'
taet rarsea stsis runbrssss 9stlmttsd % stbrsuaen-
, 1875-09-09
Iieber unb falles Siehtr.

gasbss nab aDsA klksber fur so Gsnts lur,s,. %
etsbt ista 6eilmtttsI IN sas Dst, msl&u 9iesr asb
Ds@ftAsbtr anb aSe isnAtstn ssrm snbtsa Rraaitateu.
0eAsR.. @@AslaA., ~tsyttfsss, sdlss lab fsnetst SKIS
(hsnsa lgeA NabNasb gt1sn ahettsIfei HhbI tSssfES
ssystsst sD .SfseSssH 0sSss &sisas' ~ Gas4 W
eaef9k
, 1875-09-09
RADWAY'S READY RELIEF

,tu, aussnkltSli&t 5lIfs aatsa htl
6ntjhnbuus isT Nisrtn, br Sisis auh Der etnessdSs
GsMssatcu bar eunss, EspliprRttesn, Utsmxnesbsfduts
ban. psrislssisu, psfsrt,a arOuy, DSStttria, &atarrh,
@aEtax,s. A~ppfiGmera 8a5KHsh, Ntuyalsts. RteuaaG-
AsEas, 5rbtrln. aetbltlftbtr.
Oh anptnpuns ss 9seao9 Relief aa BEN ~lsth,assa
aAer ~ersraai!tK 1psls @tss e~tnssraag gxs Gsftiiaua B
ees Esbtls ktrbttfuhrsa.
, 1875-09-09
NdNwap'S @erfect DureAttos
mnb reauttrenhe Wtnen,

ssals sefAnaadlus, faubtr ~ttaetfast tfr etc 5aluna laer
e~tsruKssn ets Weasns; Der es6rr. Der &tnl'uttes. bn
Htssen, Der 1Iaft, Rtrvenletssn, TOpIrtt. BraVyfana,
6a.iltbiai ett, raysrbault6ieit Dosp,pfa. Nnerane, ben
9als Sautnfsber. uuttrlsibsentiuabur8 bdmrrrtctbee
unb aut unorbRuRssr ia ben tnutrea GraansR. rtsb
~aesaattst Ani lnar 6ae fs rvAtts farireR.
, 1875-09-09
g6areDif0 8itters.
EA1sh4A BitseeA

Gsr asbr ale attrnunhsrt Sstsea s.stdte etH sera>
tr f6webtfbe Nrst tt ben mtNerf4e ftltde 5cri@uns
nel@e er faa auf altn 9beisa Der &rbe an ftQie, bic o.
Eelttse Seittsaft aepiaer Rrkutss uub ss Gssract besi1
ssa silhet be MuptbeEanhtteh hes
, 1875-09-09
"Star- Wftn" platform.

gilberslani, cline erpRe 3isree. Gin pSlfSnttser
Stus inter Ssfeu. Nraast in @tftaipaaren.5anbiu
asn nc j. Gtrealare gratis psrfsned. Wersffrsi
D29eh &tar Rlaftprm, e Rae
, 1875-09-09
% xrsyf.n In .lnsm baIbsn gIas @oFu

%btltftietH n Ntni8tn WustabIFdtnl
asdmpft. SbWdas. 5erlflopfen, bpfen Gspk
fd5Meri psreprbensH Wfdgen, Dtarrhse,
Durdbian, SerfOp flung, BiabMnsen
Mne allie tnHersn Geieen.
sdftabs iplttn tets tins FIai&t son RelwasS gt,asy
Rsltf bet I'D fubrtn. GsHiee Eropf.n In DaNtr psrstn
Rsanfbttt pbr S@msrisa. bic psn We4ftl bss sDaHers
%Atrrabrsa, s~srrtasta. W IL bsfr ale fransUalets
5ransS ssW Ststess aIs Elm Sstiasittsl.
, 1875-09-09

gRsFra, S&arIaaNtser entatten aus sersprb.ntm Bluk.
geeen btee aranitttten IA ,S9pebtIm Bitters" bas ptrb
hsTf. S&usmtttel. neil es Der bette 8lutrsiutserH iss, sen
q aisbt. aber mlrb br Gtbruu& ~ fpdt cber nttt senau
aa3 bee Gnneiiuus b~tspnHen, p bat gsden. Diafera.
bsiten anstrs&en, baHa mus Der @ebraEh fpfcrt ttn8
keat prbsa, ba arauitettea tn btsfta Stabtua etas au-
se1s Ssbanoluas rfsreua.
, 1875-09-09

Drssrsenes HIut II bs 9sustutfa@s be- sxsassaafu
aas (saar eieisdftu RrsularteA-
, 1875-09-09
8srft &tl-Das G&te eds,Stid
Dttters DirS ausi@lieBltd kereitet boa
Dentel II. 60,
<65 @OrS Drttts etrase,
&~h{Jnhplnhk

Rn eas pabItian Ssr Na&asaxnses I'm, Ds,ras .
p6ern, II bic Namensunttri&rift bee fruAerta Gis,ntb$
msrs ,&ss.s: SGSsatae" hh1 eisiA4. ID "a ~
1tttsrs eattdH, daatbiaftA
@teraa&taRgefuasra tr rHslfAsr xHs headGer Gre
y, ss Gaisre untsrl4rttt -psaia n g." srsssa aas
tssT 8lefGt ~bttssfist
9sdS 70 GeRts sat Slst6s. ftAs essi4ss H. A~s&.
pvaeessH Gsa %Ssttsts Aw EAaisAatSs Nass1a -
--<
, 1875-09-09
Die einstae pplptebnif6e Samss
Sdbufe.

ct. Glemens san, GHicpt GitD. Mb.
SIN Sol9e Der @er9rDBeruns iinb fiinf 4lGbe pffen.
Wan beluerbe lid lufort Darlm. Die Graouirten
iteben bod. Mir er5ter &laiie anaben perDen auf9e.
lpnmen. Ster @purie: GlaiTld, Siberal, gSiilel,=
l6aftlih uno .@ontmerjiell. Wtan iGide cine Brief
marie an Die Oirectoren fir ben Secennial=G atalo9.
19GliGi M in
, 1875-09-09
Mabtpan H. Go,

81 0arrsn, Ode ct urG Ctr, U. D.
atss BalfAes uRs sDsbrts. SGiet s.us frsirnar's az
Rsewag u. g., 30 g1arrta, Gff gbnrt Gu, Nta
NasE, apssgaft, GsMi.nb: p.Tts rire 9onea sussi4.dt.
, 1875-09-09
Saaseusf&lSss,
WpGsn

gltstea, sinssa, ::hara asesaIsz satssasms Ssszs
Esttu.
, 1875-09-09
&&DtnAf
RerSenfhwd@s

y aHt hss aasIa6sIishsa arantpettea. ttuen has ~
l&ensei&le&t untsrpprfsn a. aap Ieibsn uamtntidT al
men paraa. Die urla&tu, pslas siefes i6rstliGer ~
berDsrrufsR, ase pei6iebsa aas siellsttta abr BIZ ~
bard StSrtSnssmitta sas Rrssnfsfsm- bic o .aa,
nnssereent nae baear& ben saaseu ksrpn ~ traf = y.
Dds uSdwtbtS& Biters~ fept uaerreiGt ba ais [lySr.
fuKe5mtttd ka ben pben ~trr6bpteR Gran.bettsn unb bal
zallsnben bic @efanbfstt saraGsssbea, melae f6pn "a.
sAR ~spetftltsn. it tpitrtr Staas am asbea ~ Eabeu.
acknowledgement,
, 1875-09-09
9as sinsise i@merStiaenhe RitteI.

wslA,s uaatnbll6It& bt, fnltn ii hsa S6Htrtsn S4RGAs
asp 9attlppunsm b~efsittst unS 4sns,ttsHtn iurirt.
slti&ptti Oh lie In Der eunps. TN Waera. Giaesntibsa
ssu fsnalstn Druitn ptsr OrsIRsa Itosu, surA siS-
wsltes NnrenbWfs.
Sn ether ps ,wanjta Dltnutsa. sintrltt Ht psitts shsS
p~staiatne Ger S8m.rs ittn mag. her ~SPhsumatii@e, @st..
idssriss S6wa@e. 9stirusssItt. Rtrssit, an Stsasaiaii
eeSltnlt sesr q datsInGs ptrs a
, 1875-09-09
s~esesxssesbt

En ylssrn II Ste sress %gDsr,fdtte be- H5rpprs. Uss
@m srbalt has gauge Ssfera Nabrans une 8raft. Wens
Va Naeea anb anpers 9ercauaassprsan ra&laftn. tbu
ssus GbStigtstt su entpifela, utub Der sdRts 8brper l+.
beA. Dts &raufbeiten, pel&t aus seffprtr 2tdttetett ba
4rsaaxnsssrsaue earRetsu, fab ssrlbte0snsr Grt, aba
Ae 5eaYhir(aas hldbt thinner btefelbs. Dies u bu
@suah, Weber ees rS4utDtf& Sttters." ba % als STIR.
hsassmlrd mtrit, be 9erbaaunssOreaxt reeet nnb tbr
eessbt Gbktefttt beftlt. 70 stele RranlbttteR belt. BIZ
safaensns SAM seriGiebsaes Rstar aas. a4ir ueanea
Asrsssss ~hsisasSs
$&sstnAfudba
sab eHt snberez aasssalrenfbeitta sHtftbsn chen 70 st
aus esSruas.a Der Massntbatiatett. ais bura srb!itr
Mnlast sber beftiss &rtaltuns. Wsnn BITE Spsile MID
stRSrts psrbouet anb Der R5rper In dpise eehsn nt5t bin.
lSasli6 enatrt pirb, aus abmassrune ttntreten uni
kss sef&wdtts Spaem erltest BEN ~lei@tefsu aniaa tiaa
G~rsdItans bic BET rusr peripn sen ~trdftiesr Gsfunbbei
sar nt&t 10 Betra&t idms. DIE t~srubmtsasn Msrstt
ssnH Ns 8aas Bon e&psnsfu&s IN Zen erasu Stabtsn b.
baHbdH, si6ten ptat aasnabms t5rs GufmerIiamt.tt ~.
na auf BIZ @s8alt-uns Der Dsrbauunssersaus oanttt pk
Gsttlsa, Ssl8s bu Patient 81 f4 nimtt, itm nt4t fru&t.
Rf Bd&werss srurfahea nas ni&t hRr& ben RSyptr 60
VA nab tbm tatn.esr gar idnt sp.t la sasaissu Gaak
bsats aus l&Isbt Rabruag ~ sisttn.
, 1875-09-09

WeIan@plte.

Frs untstIssas Sraasbnitp sab bic mtstrtnif@e Dsbsns.
!ane esriabsn lam atsnais IA irab ~bseSnuen ptrssnL
Dian stbraa5t tas ,S&ptsii& Stttsrs" aenau mad b..
Anwetiun9 ane bt leS'e Spur Der cbeneenannten u@
Girp psridptneen. Dem paientsa ,pirs %unfebIbor Il
s%elaanele O. @slursbett suriGsesebes CAB issar BIZ hastr
6~sttFtett aeat f& bale mithe eiR. ~
, 1875-09-09

Hrisasn. rtIas eta strtAGa abtlsranssntttd ssr
F&dhlt2e Sslssn sTesas elmer Grt piRfbea, isltsn Elm,
brpptitt DrRs bee sS6ptstf& 8tttsrs" asbnea. e. "a
Elm splfpmmeS wni6<&es ablettaaasmtttI sxk I,rss
stEabrst@s psrhtn SbHi efR&a&t aaf $3.50
, 1875-09-09

b - Athr nHsfeI4a, RpA aassrs uaasauEA, suAA
ktsa sxAS<slit& hsfsAt #as
, 1875-09-09
&RaEtsrS&nsR.

Issa saIfams ssssafssssa car sass sssaa asssau.
Wsraen @HasA-
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-10-28
S9E


.rs--e--- ss-~ff'sSff0i iIIo. nnc"
there was something in soak There al
ways is when she sits propped in bed rea-
ding, and knew it.
| wasn't feeling pretty good, said Squills,
for had been whitewashed in the conven-
ton, sold out body, boots and breeches,
and | felt like a beard yard he-clt with his
back hair curled the wrong side up.
Have you got the nomination, Squills,
dear?"
! knew she had seen the evening paper,
but | said "No, love-" as mildly as if con-
ventions ard all saoh snares were beneath
my notice.
" Not get the nomination, Mr.. Squills?"
"Mo Mrs. Squills, not that the court is
aware of at this present writing. Certainly
not"
"Then what do you expect to get for all
the whiskey you've been pouring down
those fellows throats?"
"What fellows throats?"
"Your friends who have been tramplng
in and out of my house, Mr.. Squills, and
borrowing your poor children's money, and
running you into all kinds of disreputable
places to hunt up votes, and sneaking you
off into the country to barbecues and other
infamous resorts, paying for buggles, and
making ridiculous remarks which / know
you paid the reporters to work up into a
speech. A nice thing you have done for
yourself and me and the poor children,
and then, after al, not to get anything for
your pains. I'm ashamed Of you, Mr..
Sqaills; | would blush for you, but / can't
and what's more, | won't. Don't tell me,
Souills, that you don't want me to blush
for you. and you sitting there just as mad
as a hat full of hornets. After you telling
me, too, and the dear child. that she should
have a new silk when you got the nomina
ton. A nice nomination you've got, and
those fellows who took your money and
your whiskey just laughing at you, and
thinking what fool for believing them,
That's what hurts me in the tenderest
point, Squills."
l put out the light, tumbled into bed and
prepared to 90 asleep, but Mrs. Squills
still kept at it with forty-SquiIls power.
After a time exhausted nature gave away
and she was silent.
Then felt a singular wiggling Of the bed,
and | turned around and said:
"'Irs. Squills, is that you? What in
the world az. you doing that for' If you
want to laugh, laugh, but don't shake as il
you had the luckague.
"Ob, what politician you are, SquiNs!'
said she, two weeks eanvassing, and then
to be skunkei by tadpole. -
"To keep peace in the family" said
Sruills, 81 had to promise that dress, o.
something else, and as for the tadpol,
business, what can you explain to q
woman?"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-10-28

ThK "DrAwer' was chatting few weeks
ago the piazza of the United States
Hotel, at Saratoga. with bright German
gentleman, reti.ed from business, who re-
lated the following little anecdote:
s'Going down to New York, the other
night, on the boat said he, 81 got to
chatting with Germau acquaintance, and
and asked him what he was doing.
"Vel,' he replied, "shoOst now l am
doing nodings but have made arrange
ments to 90 into pizness."
'Glad to hear it. What are you going
into?"
"Vell, l goes into partnership init 4
man.
"Do you put in much capital?'
"No; dosen't put in no gapitai?''
"Don'. want to risk It, eh'
"No, but puts in de experience
"A1d he puts in the capital.
eyes, dot is it. We goes into bizness
for dree years; he puts in the capital, |
puts in de experience. At the end of de
dree | will have De capital and he will have
de experienced, = Hd"per'S Magazine.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-10-28
A Hero OF the war.

A kack-horse fell down own Gratiot av-
enue yesterday, and among the crowd
which gathered were several negroes, one
OF whom sought TO boss the job of getting
the equine up again. He was doing good
deal of talking when friend and brother
walked up and demanded:
See heah who is you
81 is Stephan Baker, sab, was the dig
nifed reply.
- nd was you in de wari'
"Wa-? war;"
"Yes, sab, was you in de war"
"No, sah.'
"Well, den. what business you got boss
lug around hereg You jess stand back and
let somebody VITO was in de WEI do de
talkngl Now, den folks, lift up on dat
loss an keep clar of his hind bealsl'.
The one who was not in the war meek ly
sat down on the curbstoue.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-10-28
A Hearty Welcome.

Address of welcome BIZ the principal OF
the vindicator seminary.-Dear Girls:-
Tou have returned to our, so to speak, pa
rental caGe fer another session. From the
erect end prim parlor bear2er TO the live
liest ittlo romper among you all. (Don't
scream, it's only fguratve.) You have
returned frcm world fall of pin-backs
and other snares for the unwary, but here
YOU are safe. Within these sacred walls
you may pin your dress,s back until you
stop the circulation and the unhallowed
eye of man shall not gloat over it. MAN
generally has two eyes, tut you will find
in your composition that 'eye'' has bet
ter sound.) Every arrangement has been
made to secure you against the intrusion
of these pests Of semnaries. No man
shall enter these hallowed premises unless
he brings cast iron certificate from a
presiding magistrate that he is your father
or mother, or at least your aunt. AT every
interview the cook will be prcsant with a
double, barrelled gun, and at any attempt
to hold your hand the reckless invader will
be shot on the spot. Any day scholar who
shall speak to you of the German or of the
club, or shall mention to you that she has 3
brother, will lie expelled. With these pre-,
cautions the principal hopes to prevent the
entrance of the fell destroyer. Your princi
pal cannot refrain from consratulating you
that you have not lost J our appetites. What.
ever you may have lost during your alb
sence, you have to thank providence that
they have boen spared to you. And after
all, my dear children, what is geometry
or trigoH5netry or any other ometry to a
good appetite? And then to think of all
the trials of life you are rid Of by being in
this sacred and piouS institution Other
girls have to sit up and dance till 3 O'Clock
IN the p'orning and crimp their hair with
req .Aot irons and cover their faces with
powder and their cheeks with paint and
take moonlight walks with the boys, while
you have only to sit here in quiet and sur
vey the placid features of your beloved
principal. Separated from the world, YOU
have time for serious thought and to re.
Feet on the f1llies of your fellow-nen, and
to remember tnat ''man is born of woman,
is fall Of sparks and flies upwards" OF
words to that effec.. You will find it in
your catecLism. First class in Physical
Geometry, stand up l-StaEton (Va.)
TmdicQtOr.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-10-28
Napoleon and the Stone-Cutter

Napoleon in the height of his power, being
once at Amiens, whilst travelsing tie
square, in the midst of the acciamations of
the inhabitants who had assembled around
him, cast his eyes upon the multitude, aud
perceived, in one Of the corners of the
square, a stone-cutter who had not been
induced to quit his work by the curiosity
which animated the crowd by whom he
was surrounded. The indifference of this
man excited the curiosity of Napoleon.
lie wished to know something about
him; and, passing, through the crowd,
urged own his horse until he arrived close
to him. "What are you doing there? said
Napoleon. "The workman raised h eyes
and recognized the Emperor. II am cut
ting stone
''Yoa have served under me- quickly
observed the Emperor, who recognized an
old soldier. at is. true, sire" "You
were pre- sent at the campaign of Egypt
you were brigadier in such a crops?"
"Yes, SIRE" why have you quilted the
service?" because had completed my
time, and obtained my discharge" 81 am
sorry for it: you were brave mani shall
be happy to do for you any thing in my
power: say, what do you require from
me'" THAT your Majesty will leave me
to cut my stone in quiet, my work suftices
me; l am iu want of nothing" This fact
brings to mind the interview ofDiogeues
with Alexander; bat the modest pride OF
the Greek philosopher was not equal to the
reply of the stone-eutter.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-10-28

have seemed purer-and so | told her.
Anybody looking into my home to-day and
seeing my bonnie, happy children would
know that she had not belied that
trust.
Ny sign, "Dayid Moss, attorney and
solicitor at law hangs out once more in
view Of the Capitol. 1t is not now merely
an empty sign, but a reality and my prac-
tice is not only large, but lucrative. l have
a special peEchant for unfledged attorneys
and do all that ! can to throw practice in
their way, that they may show of what stuff
they are made
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-10-28
"The Choir is Busted"

AT Deckertown, one Sunday, there was
an exhibition of the contrariness of chur ,;h
choirs that was both annoying ap2 anus.
ing. Rev. Mr.. Hamilton, postor of the
Presby yterian church of that city being ab-
sent on Sunday, the Rev. DR.. Soper filed
his pulpit, lie was ignorant of tue fact
tat the church chcir had quarrclled amcng
themselves the night before, and that not
a member was thcse to slng on Sunday
morning. lie gave out his hymn selected
for the opening, and read it through.
There vas no musical response no sound
of praise-irom choir or congregation.
After moments embarrassing silence, q
brother arose, and walking up to the pulpit
whispered IN the rs Rgaiaa' READ ar i-'
hymn had been read, SO be turned the
leaves again and gave out another. 1t was
long one and he read it through, closing
with, "Please omit one Stauza."
A dead silence in the congregation
again. The preacher looked uneasy, was
about to give ont another hymn, when an
ether brother arose and spoke from the
gallery:
"1ou see our choir is busted. Some Of
EN- thought the bass sang too low, aud
some of them thought the spranny was too
high, an others thought we ought to hev
a better alto, and there wasn't t many that
liked tle tenJr, and so the rest got mad,
and there won't be no singing to, day."
And so the services were ended without
any "singin. Neg York Star.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-10-28
I. AVI!NEAII! lC0'S.
BUCEE EEE
Reaper & Mower,
AND
SrGep,takDs ghte.hes
IMPROVED FOR 1875.
IMPROVED FOR 1875.

NEWTON, Manitowoc Co., April 10, 1875.
II. D. Smattey, Nantowoc, His:
The Buckeye Table Rake Reaper
and Mower l bought of you last season,
gives me perfect satisfaction. For every
part, think there is no better in the
WORLD. 1t makes the gayels or bum
dies 50 nice that [ need no rake when
binding.
Ny winter wheat was heavy and
somewhat LODGED, but my Reaper cut
it clean and made good gavels InGrass,
it will beat the WORLD. 1t is also very
hight draft Ny advice to farmers is.
buy the Buckeye Improved Table Rake
Reaper and Mower Yours truly.
CARL KRUEGE
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-10-28

Theodore hook didn't always make the
Jokes. Here is one that he heard. lie
was in a stage coach with two inside pas
sengers, pretty. delicate young lady, and
paie-faced maid. While the mistress
was at dinner, Hood remarked to the maid
in tone of great sympathy; "four young
lady seems unwelI." Yes, sir, she suffers
sadly" Consumption should fear?'
"No, sir, / am sorry to say it is the heart. "
"Dear me, Aneurismfp sob, no, sir! it
is only Lieutenant in the navy"