The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1875-04-02
sCIssORINGs.


What part of speech is kissingS a
conjunction.
Stanley saws that there are no banks
IN Zinzibar, but the natives have
many wild time there.
Which would you rather do for al
steady business, go to Wheeling Vir-
ginia, or to Corning Iowa,
aOf what beverage did Julius Goes
ar dep Answer "Oi Roman punch
es administered by Brutus.n
A correspondent sadly exelaims
allow can a coquette die happy r.
She can't--if there is man around
and her back hair isn't fixed 70 suit
her.
A'Newark chap who, on short &C.
quaintance, married a widow, ran
away when he discovered that she
was the mother Of twenty-five chill
dron, ase
Miss Addie Lake, Of Hamilton,
called il "cowcumber,' and her en-
ragged mother hit her with the "His-
tory of Canada, and broke her collar.
bone.
One OF the meanest things small
boy can do is to put tacks in tho
chairs when he knows that young
man is coming to see his sister that
evening.
A native newspaper published in
Shanghae protests against the intro
duction of railroads in China as IN.
furious 10 the public welfare and per
sonal safety.
whats jography, BillW "It'a a,
tellin OF forrin lands that we no
nothin' about by cute chaps that's
never seen 'em.' Bill got govern
mept situation
eOf course we coaldn't have him
roaming around here and putting on
Congressional G airs,n says q Nevada
paper in explaining how horsc-thiet'
came TO his end. i3 iNt
"You feet are not very stylish"
said man to his friend, whose feet
was covered with bunions. "No. not
stylisk but exceedingly nobby," waa
the good-natured reply
An eccentric actor whose mania
took tho form Of new readings, Inain-
tanned that Horatio was really Ham
let's father, and justified himself in
the scene in which Hamlet moralizes
over the skull of Yorick, by saying;
ut smelt SO, Pa"
"John, saw your cousin Isaac q
few weeks ago, and he had just receiv-
ed q fall, which cut a most horrible
cash in his ARM "Ah, poor fellow
What did he fall onYH well really,
4 / forget now; but trather strikes me
he fol- on Thursday morning
\, An editor thanked q friend for a
present on New Years morning
lie says. ut was only breakfast,
but that was enough TO make Us ieel
as II we were able 10 buy up the
whole country, sud thrash anybody
who doubted our ability 70 do II.
aWhat are you after, my dearT
said 3 grandmother TO a little boy,
who was sliding along aroom aud
(. casting fuftive glances at gontieman
who was paying . visit. y am tFg-
ing, grandma, to steal papa's hat out
Q OF Inc room without letting the gen
tla man see il: he wants him to think
he's out"
A city chap visited the Shakers at
, Lebanon some time since, and aa he
was wandering through the village,
] encountered a stout hearty specimen
Of the sect, and thus accosted him -
4 aWell broadbrim, are you much Of .
, shaker MAY" said the other
''not oyermuch, but ! can do a littlo
that way So be seized The astonish
Cd man BY the collar and nearly shoot
4 him out Of his boots.
N In the Wisconsin Senate The Spec
4 ial Committee on the Reilroad Blu
q reported amendments % the As
4 semhly bill advancing lgoight "a
certain classes, bnt making no QhanBl
N nv passenger rates. At The evan
N ipa session, after aharp debate ,hl
4 ariondmants were agreed NJ apa hQi|
VI wero passed ~ vote oi w lo III
n The amondments walo iayolro|. X
&, the railroad and che entiro VIZ u l1l
. rigorous than The 80 called fpl'e'
law.