The Canton mail. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 18??-1882, 1875-07-31
An lce-Cream Epicure.

He slipped into the 1ce.cream saloon
very softly, and when the girl asked
him what he wanted, he replied
Corn beef. fried potatoes. pickles
and minoe pie"
"This is not restaurant this is an
ice-creem parlor," she said.
Then why did you ask me what I
wanted for? Why didn't you bring on
your ice cream ?"
he continued
"You SEE, my dear girl, you must in
fer-you must reason. It isn't likely
that would come into an ice-cream
parlor to buy a grindstone, is it? You
didn't think ] came here to ask If you
had any baled hay, did your"
She looked at him in great surprise,
and he went on:
eff 1 owned a hardware store and
you came in, 1 woold infer that you
came for something in my line.
wouldn't step out and ask you il yoa
wanted to buy q mule, wot1ld 2"
She went away highly indignant. An
old lady was devouring dish of cream
at the next table, and the stranger after
watching her q moment, called out:
MY dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dish ?"
mercy MOI" she exclaimed, as
she wheeled around and dropped her
spoon.
"Weli, I'm glad of it'll" he con.
tinued. "If you find any just let me
know"
She looked ct him for half minute
picked up the spoon, laid it dowr
again, and then rose and left the room
She must have said Something to the
proprietor, Tor ne came running in ant
exclaimed:
Ibid you tell that woman that Their,
were hairs and buttons in my ice
cream?"
"No, SIR"
"You didn't"
"No, sir, / did not; merely re
quested her, in case she found any sucl
Ingredients, to inform mel"
"Well, sir, tina. was mean trick"
my dear SIR" said the stranger
ask the woman if she had found a crow
bar or a sledge- hammer in her cream
| 1t is impossible, sir, for such articles t,
be hidden away in such small dishes
| The proprietor went away growing
and as the stranger quietly supped ava,
at his cream, two yonng ladies came in
sat down near him, and ordered cream
and cakes. He waited until they hat
eaten a little, and then remarked
Beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste o
this creamy
They tasted, smacked their lips an,
were not certain.
docs it tese to you as if plug O
tobacco had fallen into the freezer % h
asked.
"Ah kahi" thy exclaimed, drop
ping their spoons aid irving to spit on
what they had eaten. Both rushed ont
and it wasn't long before the proprieto
rushed in.
| "See here, what in bazes are yo,
talking about p he demanded. stWha
do you meau by plug Tobacco in tn
freezer ?"
MY kind friend, I asked the Iadie
if this cream tasted of plug tobacco.
don't tsste any such tas' g, and DON
believe you used bit of tobacco in it !
Well, you don't want to talk ths
way around here" continued the pr,
prietor. "My ice cream is pure, an
the man who says it isn't tells Dol
lie."
He went away again, and a woma
with long neck and sad face sat dow
and said to the girl that she would tai
small dish of lemon ice.
1t was brought, and she had take
about two mouthfuls, when the strangt
inquired
| Excuse me, madam but do 20
know how this cream was made-hay
you an idea that they grated turnip an
chalk with the cream ?"
She didn't reply. She slowly ros
up, wheeled around, and made for til
door. The stranger followed after, an
by great good luck his coat. tails cleare
the door an instant too soon to b
struck by five pound box of fig,
hurled with great force by the indigna1
proprietor. As he reached the curl
stone he halted, looked at the door {
the parlor and soliloquized
There are times when people shout
iofer, and there are times when the
shouldn't. l suppose if L had aske
that woman if she thought they basbe
up a sawmill in the cream she'd hav
felt circular saw going down he
throat. Free Press.