The Osceola times., 1875-08-28
Fun for the Family,

name OF an Inulina StnOOl. Inc
scholars must all he addcrs. .
There should be 90 te votes at n
railroad meeting and no one should
be allowed to rail al the directors.
'They fred two shots at him,
wrote an Irish reporter, the first
first shot killed him, but the sec
Ond shot was not fatal
Married people will have no diff
hculty in getting along well, # they
will always keep two bears in tho
houses-bear and forbear.
'Tborov remarked Mrs. Fer.u-
son yesterday, Ive gone and used
my new bonnet for Il postage
stamp, and those stupid post-otlice
clerks will never know the differ
ence.' a-.......
'How shall | get rid Of my troub-
lcsome suitor?' 'Oh, marry him.
Il would see him hanged first ?
NO, marry him. and ho will be
sure to hang himself soon enough
Kansas ,cacher-'Where does all
our grain product go TOP Boy
1T goes INTO the hopper Hopper,
what hopper 'Grasshopper!' tn
umpaantly shouted the lad.
An inotlensivc who lisped got
knocked down at an Ohio Repub.
Dican primary, the other day for
shouting Ilurrah Tor Thurman.
1t turned out that he only meant
'hurrah for Sherman.
An Indiana man bet ten dollars
TINT be could ride Il hy-w heel in n
saw mill, and rs his widow paid the
dept she remarked William was
kind husband, but he didn't
know much about hy-wheels.'
A senior thus describes his un.
successful attempt to gain the at.
tention Of a young lady d want.
ed to see her ever SO much, but
some old fellow rushed ahead, and
there was, eliminated by substi
tuition.
The friends Of a wit expressed
some surprise that, with his age
and fondness for the bottle, lie
should have thought it worth while
to marry. "A vile was necessary,
ho said, they began to say of me
that dran.A too Euch for single
man
Having freluertly appealed ts
bis father to buy ham Jack knife
and receiving for a final answer
rfyou speak to me agaip on that
subject I'll whale you, he went
straight to bis mother, crying as i
Lis heart would break, and SAID
Il can't never be good like George
Washington with such dad as We
got
At recent examination of one
OF the schools IN Washington, the
question was put to class of small
boys: why is the Connecticu,
river 60 called" when brigh,
little fellow held up his hand. DC
you know, James = 'Yes, ma'am
because 1t connects Vermont anC
New Hampshire, and cuts through
Massachusetts was the triumph an
reply.
Five cents fare for that child
madam, said n street car conductor
yesterday, rs he opened the dooi
and put his head in. Very well
she replied feeling in her pocket
this is an orphan child and I'm il
guardian. ! must have receip
for all moneys paid ont, and a
soon as you write me ono III dro,
nickel in the box lie shat IL,
door and leaned over the brak,
like man in deep thought.
Oae of Detroit's phllanthropist,
saw an old man seated on sal
barrel IN front ofa grocery stor,
the other day, and the white lock-
and sad face touched a tender chord
Laying his hand on the old man.
shoulder, he asked: so YOU ar,
waiting to be gathered home. ar,
your No, sir, / hain't,' promptly
responded the old man; Pm wait
lng for the bank to open, so 1 car
Ss.her 10 1920 On this check II.
happens TO own four Or 6~e b,c
farms IN the country.