Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-01-27
MISCELLANEOUS.


"A Connecticut Justice claims that
the exclamation "Hello!" is swearing,
and he fined man for using it.
Mrs. Darlington. reading of the strike
OF wire drawers, remarked: "Ah, mo
what new.fangled things won't they
wear nextw
If a man would find out how many
men take stock in him, let him draw
draft on himself and try to get it
cashed.
--"Where do people go who deceive
their fellow-men asked q Sunday
school teacher of pupil. ITO Europe
was the prompt reply.
A little girl, upon her return from
children's party, being asked if she
had COOL time, replied: Eyes; but
there wasn't much boys there"
"A Philadelphia broker courted q
Young lady for six years, and was too
bashful to ask for her hand until her
brother horse whipped him into it.
"A letter in the New York Tribune
says: Papa has given us three cents
q day for not sucking our thumbs.-
We send one dollar for child in Kan
SIS"
The Republicans of Kentucky
have changed the time for holding
their State Convention from February
II to May ID. They will meet at
Louisville.
Lord Granville is now spoken of
as the prospective leader of the Liber-
al party in England, and the Marquis
OF Huntington as leader in tho House
of Commons.
"A Californian puts in good word
for John Chinaman on the ground
that he has never been known to be.
come q book canvasser or life insur-
ance agent.
Alarming news came from Salem,
Oregon, where a debating society has
" ResolUed, That the public press of
the United States is public nuisance,
aud ought to be abated."
A Memphis Mo-, medium reports
little Charley Ross call hunk in Para
disc" He's happier there, when Kat
tie King can show him all the nice
things Mr.. Owen gave her.
Respectable Man-Dear mel I'm
sorry to see this, Muggles! heard
you'd left off drinking!
Disreputable Party-Sho Fave, shir
-hic-jeeh fish very minute!
AT Liverpool an Irish girl, aged
30 years, sued soldier for breach of
promise, though they had never seen
one another, but had exchanged pho
tographs and kept up some cores
pondence.
Douglass Jerrold says, in his
Hedgehog Letters" that 'srespecta-
bility is all very we'll for folks who
can have 1t for ready money /; but to be
obliged to rum In debt for it is enough
to break the heart of an angel"
death is sad thing" remarked
a Schenectady woman, as she stood
beside and open grave. eyes, poor
thing" remarked another; chow he
did like to cit down to q good billed
dinner whore the pork was just right
A colored gentleman went to con-
suit one of the most Enlightened" law
yers in Boston, and after stating his
case said: SNOW / knows you's q
. lawyer but / wish you would please
sar, jiss tell me the truff bout dat mat
ter"
According to Paris letter hundreds
of American mothers are there, seek
ing titled Frenchmen for their daugh-
tiers. The old ladies doubtless think
that If they must add fool or two to
their families they may as well have
the blooded kind.
John w. Forney, the heightened
and high-priced, is generously (?)
working in Europe for his country'e
Centennial as 'shis own expenses
How Opportune che occasion for sncl,
patriotic devotion! But will he come
back? And, if so, will he bring back
that $25, 1000?
"A very handsome testimonial was
recently bestowed upon Seth Green
by the New York State Agricultural
Society. 1t was in the shape of a gold
medal, worth by weight $50. Upon
the face is the figure of Ceres, and ON
t sseffv isss.il il nil q lttife. : - 81 ~
When Alexander II. Stephens pas
SEES Washington undertaker's estab-
lishment, the proprietor always comes
to the door, takes q long, lingering
look at tho shadowy form of the great
paragraphist, and then returns to won
der at the mysterious ways of Provi.
dence.-B'kIyn argus.
In the Bank of France they have
got a brick for which they paid 1000
francs in specie. It was taken from
the ruins OF a burned house, and the
image and figures of q note for LOCO
francs are burned ON the surface, trans
ferred by the heat from q real note.
This brick the bank redeemed ON pre-
sentation, as if it were the note itself.
Girls should be warned of the dan.
ger they run in marrying railroad
brakemen. An enthusiastic member
Of that fraternity, on being awakened
the other night from o dream Of an i'm
pending crash by q train, found him
self sitting up in bed, holding his wife
by the ears, having nearly twisted her
head off in his frantic efforts to "down
brakes"
"A lawyer out West received let
ter from man in Osweg0 who want
ed q divorce. The letter concluded as
follows: "While / was taking bath
my wife slipped out of the house, ran
to the train, and el0ped with him. She
has been waiting for this opportunity
for nearly two years, l am convinced"
Perhaps If he had bathed oftener she
would not have aaizAd that onnorfu