Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-08-07
THE HOY AT THE SODA
FOUNTAIN.
A Startling Tale Told to q
Poor Old Lady who was
ThirstV.

He was rinsing the glasses when the
old lady entered the store 1t was hot
weather, and the soda fountain looked
so tempting that she conquered her av-
arice and walked over and told the boy
that she would take glass.
DO you wish for fly 10 ii?" he in
qnired in whisper.
"A fly7' grashusl nor she replied, a
look ofdisgust on her face.
"Just as you say, madame he went
on as he drew some lemon syrup. Peo-
pie are SO different in tastes, you know
Some object to tlies and some don't IN
mix some pineapple syrup with this
lemon, and now will you ha great
deal of gas and little water, or great
deal Of water and little gas2"
I'm purity thisrty," she said
"Well, then you want more water
than gas, and there won't be so much
danger Of an explosion"
"ExpIosion7" she queried.
"That was the word, madam We
have had but few such accidents here this
summer, and ] truly hope that we may
have no more"
docs soda water blow up folks9"
"That depends on the state Of their
health Some people could stand here
and drink all day, while others might
get the glass tipped up this way, and
booml they'd gop'
s'Bust?"
''Yes'm--hy into thousand peices.
You never saw human being explode,
did your"
MERCY, mol"
"Well. you don't have the least warn
ing. They may be laughing or talking,
and all at once the store is filed with
false hair, monogram garters, bustles,
corsets, feet, teeth, aud rolled plate jew
eIry. 1t makes great muss around
here, and il VIC hadn I three Of the smart
est negroes in town to pick up aud sweep
out we'd have to shut up the store for q
whole afternoon after an explosion,
He stood with the glass in his hand
agitatlng the syrup and waiting, and
she said:
Il didn't suppose it was dangerous
stuff"
"Well as / told you, it depends on
the state Of the system. If your liver is
torpid and your digestion impaired, ono
glass Of soda water would blow you
higher than Gilderoy's kite, aud the
would be lucky..to find as much
as your spectacles to hold an inquest on.
II your system Is all right. you might
drink hundre ed glasses and feel no die
astrous effects Now, then, you'll have
a good deal Of water and but little gas,
CHI"
She made a deprecatory motion and
asked:
"How's the stuff NADER"
"Well, can't 60 on and explain all
the process. There's marble dust, acid,
gas, sugar-coated pills, giant powder,
cologne water and kerosene ali mixed
together and then distilled. The distill
ed liquid is placed in retort, where
chemical action separates it, and the gas
forces 1t up separate pipes"
"Kerosene and pills!" she gasped.
"That's what l said, madam. You
look innocent and honest, and / hope
you won't say anything about it. tend
this fountain in order to support wild
owed mother and seven fatherless child
rep. II you should say anything I'd BE-
and i'll were discharged |
should commit suicide You'll have
plenty Of water, eh2"
"No, sir, l won't" she replied. Do
you suppose I'd drink acids and kero-
,ene?"
"Not in their crude state, but this
II don't care for the process" she
snapped; II wouldn't tonch the stuff"
at is mild beverage, madam, and
The doc"
"Well, don't want any. When |
90 to swallering tar and lard and kero-
Iene you'll know it! S'posen l drank
some and exploded"
Don't mention itl' he whispered.
Don't speak Of It'll"
I'm sorry for you, young man, but
here's constable living right in sight
II our house, and / think Lii"
"You'll drive me to suicides grave,
7ou meanl
She lowered her spectacles,, took
ong look at him, and went out without