, 1875-01-30
CURRENT ITEMS

dripping.
WHEN is a mother a father When
she's Sigher.
1t is far better to be sometimes de
ceivcd than 10 ue always suspicious.
Tue New York World wants To know
if man with a cough Is not ii hackman.
II What respect does locomotive re-
Semhle a Dream In coming upon sleep
erS
! Why was Robinson CruSoc unable to
! get up an oyster stew Because he hadn
| the skill il required
THE Tichbornc claimants wife refuses
! 10 pay taxes assessed against Mrs bri"n,
but willingly pays any amount as Lady
1IchboTnc-
IT might be expected that Caiiiouians
would take deep interest in "a well with
a bottom 81 far down that 80 feet of
fish-linc Just reaches II,
SAYS Miss kellogg: " \ young girl nm
her training 10 become singer mas,
make a covenant with her eyes and not
look upon u man Shol
RATHER aggruyating to that New lork
firm which has manufactured $1,000
Childrtn'S SlcdS this year that there ha,
been scarcely any use for them 81 tar
DoNr shut a child up in the dark 10
punish him The dark doesn't hurt HIM
Il bit, and he generally manages 90 kick
in a dOOr-pancl and twist the knob on
UNDER the HoHt ID pltus of " Theophl-
luS Jones, Prof Swing Is writing for his
paper. the Chicago ll'jIHce, a series "i
sketches, entitled "A he RecollcctIoUs ol
Dr Heinrich
THE New Zealand Government has
sent special agents Over To England for
the purpuSc u1 CullcctiHg ii quantity vt
small birds OF various kinds, and Il col
ony of humble bees, for Introduction into
that country.
IT is pleasure for citizen of Baltj-
more 10 lose his wallet. The finder ud-
ycrtises it. the reporters make a local
item. the police hunt all around, and
when il is restored 10 its owner he has "a
half column complimentary notice given
him.
The fact that our small nickel and
copper coinage Is very scarce IN Cali
fornia was recently explained by a state
merit that large quantities "t three aua
five cent pieces are annually melted
down for the purpose Of manufacturing
trunk nails,
IEIP the poor writes a 81. Louis
editor, and while the cumposIror Is set
ting up the article the editor puts "a
basket OF champagne and TWO turkeys
INTO his carriage and rolls nomcNUI
wits the bliSStUl conviction that be ias
done his whole duty.
The new Mavur of Chicago isn't much
on photography and he doesn't claim To-
be heavy on grammar, hUr let man a-
TEMPT 10 tread on his cuat-taIlS and the
MavorS great natural talent Is diSc0V-
cred punched up Il short distance above
the clbOw.-D,troH Free Pros
THE editor Of a Journal in New York
thus appeals 10 the better nature ot his
dcIinducnl subscribers. " To All those
who ARE in arrears one year or more, who
Will come forward and pay up, We viii
give them - frSt-class obituary notice
gratis in case it Kills them
TEE following directions are given for
detecting some counterfeit tittyCcHt
notes now in circulation ON the Cpun-
rcrfcil the lock oi hair IN the corner "i
DrAtrr's forehead touches The other hair
at each end. while in the genuine II Is a
"C' shaped lock, and touches only at the
lower end
~Yov have good husband, Betsy
e. I'm, $3.50, good enough as men 60
But what makes you spcaE Of him.
o. He tod me Yesterday that in twenty
years he had never given you cross
word" oh, ! should think not, indeed;
and he better not try IL, either
Mr.. 4. BRoysoS ALCoTT was once cN-
pounding his theory of the sin Of eating
flesh. and said: " \ man who eats pork
becomes Il little SWinish. does ne not.
and il hc eats mutton he Is Inclined 10 DE
sheepish" Perhaps So replied Or-
Jane, Walker, " but have noticed iAai
men vino live on vegetable are apt I"
be-raIhcr smull-p"tatoe~.
CON. ma said Miss NcS-ugcr, rush
ing in To- her mg nla, What i"cl'c-
dozen creature our wasLerwoman IS
Indeed, is she: And whats that, my
dearg~ qUOh The ldmiTinE mamma
Why don't YOU know that twelve
dozen is gross. replied The as'onlshtl
miss. and a gross Is very coarse:
Sc les. Of course. What "a lovely thing
education IS, my child.
IT has been well said that the Vaiue Of
q gift does not depend on its price Love
or friendship halluw the slightest token,
and when the idol of your heart j. eA-
Meeting Il holiday present Of DIAMOND
ring. and YOU give her instead twenty
five cent cake OF soap, IL is worth at l'NSt
twice that sum 10 -ce t.e an-chc lu'E oI
resignation that settles upon Ler DeaNll-
ful face.-Br5okye IrgVs-
DR.. PETEEs. of Hamilton College, has
discovered twenty asteroids IN all What
disposition the doctor intends To make
Of these asteroids when he dies We know
not; but no doubt he viii beqUeaJh them
10 some charitable institution some
people may not be able 10 see the Icct--
sitv OF discovering asteroids but be
who finds one Of those things deserves "a
monument three stories higher than ne
who walks six hundred miles IN hye days
-Noyrist01rH PA Herald
THERE is danger lest tie fashion oi
shooting burglars on the spot Will De car
ried TOO far. The alleged chIcken-lnlel
who was shot dead while lowering about
a coop in New York the other nlsh'
made an ante-mOTtem statement 20 'nt
effect that he was not IN the act Of s'e'.--
ips at all, but he was there hunting aiIy'
his EMPLOYERS pigs and ,oTS- ne aD
surditv Of hunting after PIGS ant COW
in a henCocp Is apparent, bCt Il W.
he well nevertheless for burglar-shOot,eIs
N first be sure they are right and theh