Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1875-02-06
Josh Billings.

Pills will sumtimes act on the liver,
but saving wood will do it alwuss.
think the best way to go thru this
world is to GO backward, va kant see
ahead if yu try ever so hard.
He who sows wheat and reaps tares
leads lif ov pleszure.
About one-haf the folks 60 thru life az
dIift-wood foa is on the surface ov the
stream, without knowing or caring much
whar they are going to land.
Politeness, even when it liz not the re-
suit ov emmy real goodness ov heart, is an
agreeable fraud.
Thar seems to be this difference be-
tween the foolish and the wise the phools
kan deceive themselfs, but they kant de-
ceive others, the wise kan deceive others
but they kant deceive themselfs.
Thare is no one more ofen wrong than
the one who thinks that he is alwuss
right.
It il very eazy to mistake ceremony ior
politeness, and the vulgar are alwuss
making the mistake.
Truth IL skarse, thare liz very little ov
II ennyhow in this world thare is not
more than one thing out ov ten that we
think or do that IL true.
Don't be afrade ov SANDER; if it aim
true it won't hurt you; if it liz true it
amt no SANDER.
A kind-hearted person IL necessarily po-
lite, even ifhe il az rude as boor.
kno sum very intelligent people who
are insufferably vain this il the most
strange contradicshun in human natur.
Trieing to do what natur never in
tinded us for IL the scource of nenny
mortifcashuns and failures thus we see
sum in pulpit who ought to be in a
shumaker's stall, and others disgracing
the bench who would be ornaments in
butchers shop.
Crate welth IL certainly the poorest
legacy yu kan leave yure children. Yu
had better leave them destitute.
never knu four legged dog to desert
a man in the hour of affection but hav
frequently known the two legged kind to
do it.
The recipe for making good proverb
il, take one gallon of truth and bile it
down to pint.
1t is fakt, believe, that all the good
things that il possible for
human natur to do hav been done, but we
are astonished every day at some new
phase of iniquity.
Prosperity never made phool OF man
yet; it very often stirs mp the phool that
is in him, tho.
A man of vivid imaginashun seldom
suckceeds in Dizziness he anticipates the
end, and then becomes disguised with the
means.
lam to lie down together, when we kant
even git two men or two wimmen to do it
without hiking up sum kind -of row?
Those who are the most keenly suscep
tible to ridikule think that it liz their
merit that makes them so, when in fakt it
liz often their vanity.
| hold that genuine wit liz alwuss gen.
uine truth.
am glad of one thing it don't take
but little to pleaze me- am az simple as
a child wish waz az pure.
How kan we expekt the lion and the
Ifi waz a going TO try to please every
body (which shall never undertake as
long as am in my rite mind) would tell
them to mind their own Dizziness, and i
would mind mine.
A lasting reputation is a thing of slo
growth. Those men who wake up sum
morning and find themselves famous, are
very apt to go to bed Gum mite and be for
gotten.
The dogs are the most sensible antigua
rians kno oy; they gather old bones and
then bury them, for practical purposes
Times that amt honest are the only
things against which ridicule has enney
power.-N. Y. Weekly.