The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1875-11-03
IncOnvertiblc soun.Tickets.

one oi 'ne wittlest pieces of political satire
we nave seen ior long time, appears in the
Boston Oaiiy Advertiser 1t purports to be an
account OF the proceedings of the "Boston
Board of Tram. ps" to consider the subiect Of
City Soup, aid concludes with the proposition
oy "a frier.d of humanity" to supply the poor
win Unlimited soup-tickets, and at the same
'ime 70 save the city the cost of the soup by
maEfng these tickets 'inconyertible"
de recognized the fact that in former years
soup-uckets Were Issued on basis of soup,
and redeemable in soup: but of that old. cnm-
brous and costly system, he Thought all that
was worth preserving was the soup tickets
which were legal invention of the necessity
which knows no law. He reminded his hear.
ers tnat when they received the souptickets in
the old times, they had faith as well as hope
and charity They did not know even that
there was any soup made, but they knew that
tne city government had made itself responsi-
PIE PIE Ior the sonp, and because of that RESPONSE
oillty they had faith. They knew that the en-
tire property of the city was pledged, as it
were, for the production Of that soup. They
knew that those soup tickets were really issued
on the basis of the House of Correction and
Ganeuli d,sL Hall and Deer Island, and all other
ing and steamer Henry Morrison were pledged.
while Banker Hill Monument aud the bridge
on the Pablic Garden gave collateral security
tnat the soup would be supplied with such
security as that" he continued, "Tho would
DOT r'e satisfied with q soup-ticket, even al.
thoIigh he could not get any soup?'
re then proceeded to unfold more fully the
ue sa'ls OF bis plan for reform. 1t was, in brief
to do away entirely with soup and chowder, but,
Iakirg advantage OF the popularity of the soup
tickets, he proposed that the means should be
provided for issuing them to all who wanted
them. The soup-ticket had always served an
excellent purpose. and he would by no means
nave nav the city think Of giving that up. But his
.a9a First was wnSid snlsi We we give his language;
shuold have at all times certain fixed
and stable value as the representative of a
certain amount of filling Ingredient below
which value it should not go. Second-I de-
mana that scup-ticket shall be issued by
the City Government alone, in the exercise OF
its high prerogative and constitutional power,
and that that power shall not be delegated to
any Holly Tree Inn or individual. Third-I
want that soup-ticket stamped upon some con-
venient and cheap material of the least possi-
BILE intrinsic value, so that neither its wear nor
its destruction will be any loss to the city or
to anybody else. Fourth-I desire the soup-
ticket TO be made of such material, for the
purpose that 1t shall never be taken away nor
De desirable TO carry over to Chelsea. Framing
Boston system of purveyance and victualing
40 not propose to adapt it to the wants of
any other city, especially Springfield, where
they don't keep their bowls on the shelf. Fifth
uoSno snat tne sOup-tckeo so Issued shall
never oe redeemed. l see no more reason why
an order for soup should be redeemed or re-
qeemaole than that the yard stick with which
measure cloth sho0ld be redeemed" [Atthis
point, being in human shape who was un-
aole to comprehend the drift of this last re.
marx through his dense stupidity, interrupted
the discourse of the expounder of the new
system by inquiring if there was not any diff
iere nce between soup ticket and yard stick?
he said 1T emed to him that the yard stick
10 fhn lalI mia IL
soup was measured out. When he used to
get soup he went to the station-house and gave
up MS ticket, and got his soup, but he didn't
believe If he should go to dry goods store
win yard stick that it ever would have got
MIN yard II CLOTH But as he was going on
IN this way like iIbberlng idiot he was choked
On amt sllenced, and the expounder proceeded
Slxth-For convenience only, propose that
the soup ticket so issued shall be quite equal to
or little better than the present value of the
average turtle soup of the city, not to be chang
ed or changeable If the turtle soup grows thin
ner or thicker or to be obliged to conform it.
self IN value in any regard to the soups of
Chelsea or Maiden, keeping itself always stable
ana nxed, so that when all appetites adjust
themselves to it as a means of sustenance it
snail remain fixed standard forever l need
go no further than soup-ticket for all those
desired qualities, includiog uniformity of value
everywhere, except in fixed and intrinsic value
Ii these two qualities can be added to the
soup-ticket it completely ills the six require
ments have set forth, provided all thoughts
or It's redeemability in soup and chowder be
taken away from it"
With al eloquent peroration, in which he
put himself on record as friend of humanity
10 favor Of anything which anybody wanted,
he CO cluded.
AT this point motion was made that the
sense OF the meeting be taken on the question
whether soup-tickets we're more desirable than
soup. This was objected to on the ground that
It was work of supererogatiou, everybody
knowing that the sense of the meeting didn't
amount to anything. The motion failed. A
motion to adjourn was then made and carried,
and at late hour the meeting broke up. As
were supplied with horse-ca tickets BY the last
speaker, which they were assured would ans
Wer every necessary purpose, as they were