The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-29

by the brim, there amt nothing to speak
of n p ticler. S'pose you heard of Miss
Coles death; she was taken the same time
you was.
Il should think, James," said Mrs.
Soper, with feeble emphasis, shat if you
couldn't find somethin' more cheerful to
say to your poor, sick wife, you'd hold
your tongue"
Certify" said Mr.. Soper, meekly,
'only news is so scace. Lemme see, he
continued, looking thoughtfully into the
crown of his hat. as if he had reserved
fund of gossip therein, you heard bout
Mathy Carriers breakin' her leg"
A snappish Eod of the head from the
invalid slgniied to Mr.. Soper that he was
on dangerous ground, but after a NOM
ents reflection he frightened visibly as he
said:
You orter ben to town meetin' Mon
d'y. The towns voted to have a new
hearse, an never was 50 glad of anythink
in all my life.
James Edward Soper," whispered his
wife, with painful intensity, "be you a
nat raj born fool, or be you lookin' for.
rard to gettin' rid of me?"
AS the latter view had never presented
itself to Mr.. Soper in the light of his
wife's inquiry, he looked very much sub
dued, and scratched his head with an all
of painful abstraction as Mrs. Soper said
again with fearful voice:
"Oh. you en- go. If you cant spare a
few moments to set with me, an jes Civ
me some little interestin' news-I don't
want you to stay ag in your inclination,
she continued with the sigh of martyr
Mr.. Soper hastily expressed his willing
ness to remain and desire to please,sO after
brief interval of thought he continued
reflectively:
well, lemme think. | was over to the
Wilder Stacy's las night to see f
couldn' make trade for Jersey heffer
an | tell YOU, Myria," said Mr.. Soper, en,
Enthusiastically, If she amt harnsum crit
ter, never see one.
An ominous light appeared in Mrs Sop
er's sunken eyes, and if her husband haC
been observing closely he would have seer
a restless motion of the hands, indicative
of an apparent desire to make persona
attack upon some one or something, bu
he saw nothing, and continued:
She's jest about the right size, an hel
skin s as white as snow. She's got The
pootiest legs" continued the unrefecting
Mr.. Soper, with descriptive motion o
the hand IAN when you come to talk
about shape-why, Mira" said Mr. Sopel
rising from his chair in his warmth, "shel
measure two foot across her breast
The scream which came from the affict
ed invalid at this juncture was of sucl
piercing shrilness that Mr.. Soper placed
his fingers in his ears, and Mrs. SOper''
mama, who was in the next room, appear
ed on the scene in the twinkling of an eye
"Oh, you awful brute' she exclaimed
as she Dathed her daughters brow will
hair oil in mistake tor camphOr, while TIT
wretched man feebly endeavored to explalr
that he was only telling Mrs Soper abou
Jersey helfer that he was going to buy
There, ma" said Mrs. Soper with
gasp, "Tm better now,'
You'd better leave the room. said thu
matron, with a world of significant wratI
in her eye, and the unfortunate SOpe
departed, muttering, as ne slammed the
outside door behind him, that he'd b
master in his own house some day; but h
hasn't been yet, for Mrs Soper has re
covered, and her mother has taken up
permanent residence with them.
To this day they don't speak to tn
Widow Stacy, and Mr.. Soper's reiterate
explanation has always been received i
dignifed and incredulous silence.