Bristol news. [volume] (Bristol, Va. & Tenn.) 1867-189?, 1875-08-10
Iron the Detroit Free Preset
EXPLOSIVE SODA WATER.
How an Old Lady Refused TO
Imbibc.

lie was rInslng the glasses when an
old lady entered the store. 1t was
hot weather, and the soda fountain
looked 80 tempting that she conquered
her avaricc and walked over and told
the boy she would take a glass.
DO you wish a fly in it?" he in
quired in a whisper.
"a fly grashus! nour she replied,
look of disgust oil her face.
Just as you say, madam, " he went
on as lac drew some lemon syrup
People are 50 different in taste, you
know. Some object To flies and some
don't. I'll mix pineapple syrup with
this lemon, and now viii you have a
great deal Of gas and lit;le water, or
great deal Of water ami a little gas
I'm pretty thirsty" she said.
well, then, you want more water
than gas, and there won't be so much
danger of an explosion"
Explosion ?" she queTied.
That was the word, madam. We
have had but few such accidents here
this summer, and 1 truly hope that
we may have no more"
Does soda wafer blow up folks ?''
That depends on the state of their
health. Some people could stand here
and drink all day, while others might
get the glass tipped up this way, and
boom! they'd 20 ~
Bust :"
Yes m-fly into thousand pieces.
You never saw a human being ex plode,
did yCu?'
Mercy, not"
"Well. you don't have the least
warning. They may be laughing Oh
talking, and all at once the store is
filled with false hair, monogram gar
tiers, bustles, cOrsets, false teeth ana
rolled plate jewelry. II makes great
muss around here, and if we hadn't
/ three of the slnartest negroes in town
to pick up and sweep out we'd have to
shut up the store for a whole afternoon
/ after an explosion
He stood with the glass N his hand
/ agItating the syrup and waiting, and
she said
II didn't suppose is was dangerous
stuff"
well. rs told you, it depends up
on the state of the system. If youl
/ liver is torpid, and your digestion i'm.
! paired. one glass Of soda wafer would
/ blow you higher than Gilderoy kite
/ and the coroner would he lucky tC
! find as much as your spectacles to hold
/ an inquest on. If your system is al
right YOU might drink a hundred
! glasses and feel no disastrous effects
/ Now, then, you'll have good deal o
water and but little gas, Ell ~
She made deprecatory motion, aaC
asked
"HOw's the stuff made 81
"Well, | can't 90 on and explain al
| the process. There's narble-dust, acid
gas, sugar-cOated pills, giant powder
cologne water ard Kerosene, all mixeC
together and then distilled. The dis
titled liquid is placed in a rgtort
! where a chemical action separates it
and the gas forces it up a separate
pipe"
Kerosene and pills - she gasped.
That's what | said, madam. You
look innocent and honest, and / hop,
you won't say anything about it.
tend this fountain in order to supper
a widowed mother and seven father
less children. If you should say any
thing I'd be discharged, and il | wer
discharged | should commit suicide
You'll have plenty of water, ELI ?"
mo, sir, | won't" she replied. cd,
you suppose I'd drink acids and kero
sene?n
Not in their crude state, madam
but this process"
II don't care for the process" sh
snapped Il wouldn't toEch the stuff
1T is a mild beverage, madam, ant
the doe
"Weil, I don't want any. When
go to swallerlng tar and lard and ke'O
sene you'll know il! S'posen L,
drank some and exploded !"
Don't mention it," he whispered
"Don't speak Of it ~
Pm sorry for you, young man. bu
there is a constable living right il
sight Of our house, and l think-I-
II"
You'll drive me to a suicides grave
you meant"
She lowered her spectacles, took
long look at him, and went out with
out replying.