Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1875-04-20
THE GREAT AMERICAN DEAD
HEAD.


Hackett and his convoy. There's the
President" was passed from mouth to
mouth with electric rapidity. The two
elbOwed their way through the throng
and reached the railing around the
door of entrance to the cars. A door
master stood there punching the tickets.
To him Col. Hackett waved his hand
loftily saying, "the President" and
he would have passed through without
any futher ceremony.
Tickets, gents" said the doormas-
ter, stepping in front of the wOuld-be
deadheads.
''The President of the United States
President Grant" Col. Haekett repeat
ed, pointing to that individual, whose
eyes and face up to this time had been
as expressionless as ever.
Il can't help who you are. You can't
pass through this gate without showing
your tickets" said the doormaster du-
tifully, but with rocky frmness of tone
and manner.
The President cast upon the official
a look Of such concentrated contempt
and scorn as might have withered one
who stood in awe of him.
Stand back and don't block the
passage, gents" said the ~impervious
dOOrmaster.
THE W~ILKESoNIAN DIALECT.
The corners of the Presidential
mouth drew down at this unexpected
obstacle. His eyes flashed as he turn
ed to his fdus Achates. His lips
moved and uttered the solitary word,
Damn"
1t would require pages TO describe
the intensity of bitterness with which
that single WilkesOnian syllable was
uttered. 1t spoke Of wounded dignity,
Of disappointed avaTice, and last, but
not least, Of consciousness Of being in
a most ludicrous fix. His features
we're imperturbable, but the situation
was taken IN by every one, and Their
audible litter and amused glances
showed how keenly most Of the travel
ers enjoyed the joke of trapping the
colossal deadhead.
Vice President Wilson, who had
been Glowing his way with SecOr
Robesoas arm In his own Just to the
rear Of the President, was keenly alive
to the shamefulness Of the situation.
With a hasty glance he saw how it was
to end, and SO he dropped back far
enough to be out Of the focus Of eyes.
Even SecOr Robeson's rubicund visage
grew reddcr, and he looked as though
he would have stood something hand
some to be a mile away from there.
EThis was the picture that a hasty
glance around the depot building re-
vealed. But the President stood it all
with a calm visage. As before resort
ed, he calculated Damn, =" Then after
a few seconds pause he Kissed into
Hackctt's ear, What's to be dOne:"
That resoUrceful individual pulled a
rueful countenance, and said, Il guess
there's nothing for it but to pay"
Buttoned right on to the vest pocket
in which Col. Hackett carried his
money was his military coat, and over
that was a belt, from which daugled his
sword and side arms. He could not
reach his purse, and this IN Welcome
fact impressed itself upon the Presi-
Dental mind so disagreeably that he
lit up his countenance with another
whitening glance and shot 1t at the
doormaster. 1t was useless, and he
saw it. With a hasty movement his
hand went down into his breeches
pocket, and came out clasping a little
wallet. A hundred-dOllar bank note
was fshed out and thrust into Hackett's
hand. The two then vacated the pass
age, and the gorge of blocked trav slers
with tickets were given an opportunity
to enter the cars.
GREATNESS OFFENDED.
The President stood off to one side,
and SecOr Robson approached him
with comforting words. Whether the
service was ~acceptably performed vas
not indicated by the august face, the
features whereof were set IN their old
~immOvable, self-eoncentrated, stony
stare.
Gen. Belknap thought he'd try TO
fix things, and, acting upon the old
saw, "MOlasses catches more flies than
vinegar approached Cerberus with
silken tone: ''The tickets are being
bought. Surely you can nave no objec-
ton to permitting the President to seat
himself in the cars ?"
The dOOrmaster glanced at thetOwer-
ing form Of Col. Hackett, who was buy
ing the tickets. thought a moment, and
then said, politely: Il presume no fault
could be found with me for permitting
that"
He Gays we can % into the cars
without waiting for the tickets the
Secretary of War said IN pleased tones
to the President
well, we won't do IT," the Execu-
tive replied, with surly ~pOStiveness.
By this time Col. Hackett had re-
turned with the tickets. III stand
here and check you off as you 60
through said he to the President, at
the same time taking a position along
side the dOOrmasteT.
DO nothing Of the sort. Give a
ticket to each one" President Grant
} commanded, IN a voice sharp with I'M
appeased anger. So, the President,
Secretary Robson and Gen. Belknap
were furnished with tickets, and the
former presented his to the doormaster
with a suavity Of manner that was eY-
identity intended to be full Of penchant
satire.
A glance at the tickets showed that
the fertile brain Of Col. Hackett had
not failed him IN the great emergency
Of getting to Concord without paying
out money. The train and the party
were TO 90 to Boston without change
Of cars. Nevertheless, the Willy Colonel
had bought tickets as far as Spring
field only.
At Springfield, Mass, the tram
rolled from the tracks Of the sordid
New York and New Haven Railroad to
those Of the Boston and Albany, and
once more the Presidential party was
d~eadheading its way to its nations
birth-ulace. There was nothing to pay
anywhere. The individuals did not
have to pay; the State did not have to
pay. 1t was pure and simple dead
heading, and there was more anima-
ton than had at any time boen seen in
the Presidential eye, and he greeted
7 cordially an English clergyman who
vas on his way to take charge Of a
parish IN Brookline, Mass.
An OPPORTUNITY AVAILED or.
A .r,i,,c lon -, No. u,r,,,brr. -