The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-03
HIS HONOR AND BIJAH.
An Hour at the Detroit Central Station
Court.
From the Free Press.l


returned with melancholy man, whose
shirt collar hung by the last button, and
who had evidently been rolled over and
over in the road by the boss elephant of
the last circus.
"Your cognomen is -" inquired
his Honor.
"Shoseph, replied the prisoner.
And you work at -
"On a Sherman baper," was the re-
ply.
"Ah yes. You are one of those af-
ternoon journalists who take items from
the morning papers, change q name or
two, and gobble them as original !"
81 translates" replied the prisoner,
in solemn tones.
81 understand. I've seen your trans
lations frequently, aud they are well
done. Anybody who hadn't read the
other papers would think you had
hundred tons of brain under your hat.
g. CANT help dot if / didn't want to. ;"
"Wel, I'm only giving yen my indi-
vidual opinion. If L were you I'd write
my own items or sit on box and whit
tie bar soap. It's a fact that you were
drunk last night, and what have you to
say about it 2"
The prisoner wiped his nose in an APP
pealing manner, and his Honor con-
tinued
"It's the first time, and I'll let you
go, but If you appear here again I'll
translate you and transport you, too.
You are big enough to know how to be-
have yourself.
QUICK WORK.
Whoop!" exclaimed Toledo sailor
as he was brought out
eyes, 'hooped' for sixty days, re-
piled the Court and Bijah went in for
another.
PROFESSOR.
Henry Gibson came out with wild eye
and nervous step, and as soon as he could
secure a view of his Honor's good ma
.ured face he feelingly remarked
81 protest. solemnly protest ~
Don't take on that way, Mr.. Glib
son, >" soothingly replied the Court.
81 will, sir-I a0iU take on 1 pro
test, sir"
Do you protest draft, Mr.. Glib
SOM"
"No, sir 1 protest against the out
rage !"
Didn't you have sheets on your bed
Mr.. Gibson, and didn't they give YOU
milk toast for breakfast -
81 tell you protest. exclaimed tn,
prisoner.
Well, would, too, if I'd been founC
drunk with my body jammed in between
a sugar hogshead and barrel of kero
sene There's lots of law in this coun
, try, Mr.. Gibson, but there's no law t,
: prevent you protesting from this tim
until Christmas.
"Sir L want justice % said the pris
oner I" I demand justice :"
. "That's different thing, Mr.. Gibson
and I'm happy to say that 1 can accom-
! modate you. L find you guilty, and
I sentence you to the House of Correctio
for thirty days !"
T 81 pro-"
I But Bijah pulled him in ont of tn
! soft, sad sunlight which streamed int
9 the courtroom.
WANTED THOMAS.
She was little bit of woman with
o big straw hat on, and she suddenl
: squeaked out
o ooh. sir 1 want to see Thomas
. sir"
"Well, look around you, and if 20
see him it will be all right.
"Oh! sir, he isn't here, sir, she sale
after glancing around.
"What Thomas is it" inquired til
: Court.
n "Ohi 1 dunno !"
els it Thomas Jeffersonl"
n "Deed, sir, but can't tell -
GGnr .fT'bp,uoc Tonac Drou-u Sr1iti
/ Perkins, De Laney, st. Clair or Withe
spoon"
# "None O. them, sir-it's Thomas"
Il "Well, your Thomas is far, far ava.
g it seems, and now let's proceed to as
;. and answer other questions. Let II
4 inquire if there is the remotest SUI
picion in your mind that you were il
IS toxicated last EVENING""
IT ooh! L can't go on till see Thon
o as ~ she walled.
W Sand Thomas, oh ! where is he 2"
g That's what dunno.
IS "Well, / can't keep this case ope
all summer to please Thomas, John {
II Joe. You will have to plead"
r 81 plead for Thomas" she answered
:. Guilty, or not guilty Z"
% OH bI, Call lOr luOHlitS, oil
q Madam Bliss, can't have any MOI
,f fooling around. 1 do not know til
Thomas. / do not know his abidin
h place. He may be wild Arab, a how
!. ing Turk, q bearded Russian or an Amer
> can with his hair parted in the center fC
h aught l know. We must dispose of tn
# case.
T "Thomas oh my Thomas! !" she Gale
q as she faced the audience.
He answereth not, Mrs. Bliss, an
n now desire to know why you kicke
o down the line fence between you an
d your neighbor, and threw slops at her
e ooh sir, if Thomas was only here
n 81 wish he was-Pd send him up wit
4 you. L make your sentence sixty days
IS and if You ever find Thomas please sen
Il me his photograph"
Bijah adjourned the court, tenderl
r placed the prisoners in the buggy, an
{ the boys came out of the alley and sang
o She's weeping for her Thomas
And Tom. oh where is he:
e II he was any sort Of Teller
= He'd come and solace she.
:
\ Further from tho RIack Hills