Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1875-02-18

The London NEWSPAPER Press con.
tains the following classification O
newspaper subscribers, which is some
what vaguely credited to "an American
paper"
First come the s''3
UpR1GHTs. These are men who take
newspapers, pay for them, and read
them. Observe the order in which
these things are done: The pay comes
frst-the reading next. These mer
consider they get the worth of then
money in the bargain. Itseems as fail
and just to them that the newspapers
should be paid for as barrel of sugar
or q new coat. They never entertain
any other opinion. When the yeal
runs out, or little before, they are or
hand with the pay. There is no more
difficulty with them in remembering
this period, than Sunday or the first Of
January. If one of them wishes te
stop his paper, he either calls or writes
a letter by his postmaster, in due season
like man. This. class is dear to the
heart of The editor. Their image is
elbalmed in his warm affections. May
they live thousand years, and see
their sons sons to the fourth generation.
The second class now in mind is the
Do WELLS This class is nearly re
lated to the other-so near, that it is
hard to tell where one begins and the
other ends. These men always pay in
advance in the beginning, and intend to
do so continually. But memory fails a
little, or some mishap in.ervenes, and
the time runs by-sometimes little -
sometimes for quite a period. But
their recollection, though nodding oc,
casional1y, never gets sound asleep.
1t pronounces the word in due time
1.-The printer is not paid" and forth
| with their will to do well kindles into
activity. Now comes the paying up
s.Meant to do SO before. Don't mean
to leave such things pas by" A
publisher can live with such men,
They have warm place in his memory
only little back of the Uprights. If
such man dies in arrears, his wife or
son remembeEs that he may not have
paid up for his newspaper, and forth
with institutes inquiries. They remem'
Der that part of the benefit was theirs,
and, estate or no estate see that the
printers bills are not among their
fathers unsettled accounts.
Next come the
EASY DoERs.-These men believe In
newspapers. They have fully settled it
in their own minds that a newspaper is
good thing. They take them, too
Sometimes at the first they pay up Tor
the first year-at any rate they mean to,
pretty soon. If they have done SO,
they ait down with the comforting con
vlction that their newspaper is now
settled for; and this idea having once
GOT into their heads, refuses obstinately
to be dislodged, but keeps its hold
from year to year; truth once-now
an illusion, gray and rheumatic with
years. The editor, making the elongated
space sp the accounts current OF their
dollars, begins to ask if they are dead
or have gone to California. Now he
begins to poke bills at them. They
suddenly start up to the reality that
they are in arrears; and, like men, as
they are at the bottom, pay up. They
never dispute his bills-they know
books tell better stories khan Baoss
| covered memories. If the publisher
has faith enough, or long purse, and
can live like alternating bear, he may
survive this class. But if he is mortal
only, woe be to him.
The next class is that of the
Down KILLERS Here we begin to
slide. The picture suddenly gets
sombre. We shall dispatch the Down
Killers suddenly. Oae of these may
take a paper because his wife wants one
or the children are jealous to read it, OF
a neighbor persuades him. When it
begins to come, he dismisses all
thoughts about it further. If the editor
sends man directly to him at the end
of two or three years, he may get some
pay for his paper, but with growls and
surly looks. He never pays any debt
if he can get rid of it, and a newspaper
least of all. Still, he hates lawsuits,
and eonstables, and all that A dun
has the same effect on him that bullet
has on hippopotamus-glancing of
his hide, or sinking into the blubbel
harmless He is always sliding down
hill, and soon merges into another class
| that of
THE Nix Gun RoUsE.-No matter
how this man began his subscription,
he never pays for it-not he. "He
don't like that sort of paper. 1t don't
give no news. He never did like it
He didn't want it in the first place, and
[ told the n0sfmaStpr SO He sent hacl,