Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-06-10
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

When does>the wind deserve reproof?
When it whistles through the house.
Duluth is fifteen years old and never
had but one breach-of-promise suit, ana
that was settled by giving the plaintiffs
father a pair of cowhide boots with RED
tops.
=" want you to catch burglars, says
the New York Chief Of Police TO ms
men, "but you must remember 'hat !.
hest to shoot 'em first and eaten EN-
afterward." 8
Mrs. Ridgway, one of the victims OF
the Schiller disaster, left fortune Vi
$4,000 to Emaline Gum, who was en-
ployed as a house-servant at ohelneiu'
, Connecticut.
A colored man called at kentucky
Postoffice recently and wanted 70 hno"
docs dis postorfs keep stamped ante,
lopes?" He was doubtless convinced
that he had the wrong deer
George Cary Egglestone advises men
in moderate circumstances not TO marry
rich wives, as the cost OF maintaining
them usually exceeds the amount tney
contribute to the general fund.
Prof Cleveland G. Newberry, one Of
the Black Hills geological party, has re-
signed. He says it is on account of be-
ing poisoned, but he does not tell on
what account the poisoning was done.
They sell tickets for spelling
match in San Francisco, and when the
quests are congregated two game roos-
fers are put in the pit and allowed to
spell at each other as long as they please.
Champ, champ, champ" goes the
grasshopper of the period; and then,
glancing up with a wink in one eye, he
remarks: "Who says we are not the
champions of the nation?"-Chscdgo
Journal.
An old man who has just returned
to Florida from the Lexington centen-
NAL says he don't believe he will attend
the next centennial held at that place, as
he is getting too old and can't stand
such cold weather, besides the trip is too
long for an old man.-Florsda Union.
The Fort Scott Monitor claims that
the 20,U0OO 600 prairie chickens and quail
sent to market from Kansas last year
would have devoured at least 10000, 900
grasshoppers had they been left unmo-
Tested, and urges the people to prevent
the slaughter OF those birds this season.
1t must be rather binding on man
10 years old to pick up his favorite pa
per in the morning and find a quotation
IN the leading editorial like this
The good die young;
But those whose hearts are dry as summer
dust
Burn To the socket.
An instance of shoddy aristocracy
meanness is reported from the South
End, Boston, where a wealthy woman
hired for servant her own sister,
hnr ~, N al
and, though she and her husband, having
pany was in the house, they never per
mitted the sister to sit with them.
Rev Mrs. Ada c. Bowles' license as
d Universalist preacher having expired
she applied to the Pennsylvania Commit
tee of Fellowship and Discipline for a
renewal. Her application failed for
committee. They did not doubt her
opinion that her home duties must nee
and thought to the ministry.
There are but three persons now liv-
ing who possess life passes on the Hud-
son River Railroad. One of these per-
sons is John b. Jervis, of Rome, who
vas the first chief engineer of the road.
His wife is another who possesses life
pass. The third person is Governor
kimball, of West Point. These passes
are composed of solid silver, upon which
are engraved the name of the possessor
date when given, occupation, etc.
To illustrate the eCcentricity OF
James Lick, the California millionaire, i,
is said that he hired two men to work fol-
him and set them to work planting cab
bages, directing them to put the plants
tops down, roots up. One of the mer
obeyed the order strictly. The other
thought it mistake, and put the plants
IN the soil just as any sensible person
would. BY and by the employer came
along. Seeing the work of the latter, ht
inquired: "Who did that?" II did,
said the man, confidently. "Iou canno
work for me any longer, sir" was the re
ply with summary dismissal.