The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-11-18
A schoolmaster Around Loose.


Four or FIVE days ago man about forty
years of age, looking as if he had been
drawn over a dusty floor for an hour or
two called upon one of the members of
the Board of Education, and introduced
himself as William Cannon Harrison.
He was politely received, and he COM
menced business promptly by saying;
I'm a-lookin for situation as school
teacher"
"Ah, ha" replied the member, won
dering why the man wasn't looking for
woodpile
81 could have brought a pile of recon-
mends so high" continued the man,
measuring with his hands. "but recon-
mends don't amount to nothing"
And have you any school in view?'
asked the member.
II want to get in here, in the city, re-
piled the man. What wages do you
pay p l..
Pm afraid" began the member,
when the schoolmaster interrupted
oh well. / s'pose you pay going wa
ges, and that's all 1 can ask for, l don't
want to put on style and live high, as
L M getting leetle old and ought to save
money.
LAS | was going to remark said
the member when the schoolmaster sud-
denly inquired:
do they allow licking in the schools
here? If they do, I'm the man you want
to dress the boys down! I've had EN-
come for me by the dozen, and it would
do your heart good to see the way l laid
EN-! Why, when l had that school up
country, L thought nothing of licking
thirty scholars a day, besides hearing
twelve classes recite I'm an old scream
er, l tell you, there's fun in me when
you get me woke up p
81 hardly think, commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up and said:
"Of course you won't take me unless l
pass examination, but l hain't afraid of
not passing. I'd like to see word l
couldn't spell For instance 'Catarrh
'C-a-t-a-r-r-h, catarrh. 'Dandelion
a-n-d-el-i-o-n, dandelion or try me on
words of four syllables. 'Lugubrious
Lug u-b-r-i-ou-s lugubrious. Oil can
knock the socks right off n these swell
head teachers, and not half try p
81 should like to help you, put in the
member, "but-'
"Oh! you needn't think IN behind on
geography, interrupted the teacher.
"For instance: What is an isthmus?
An isthmus is a narrow strip of land con-
Meeting two larger bodies. Is the world
round or fat? Round Why is it
round? Because it is Which is the
| largest river in the world The ANA
zon. Which is the highest mountain?
| The Andes. might go on for seventy
five days this way, and then not tell you
half l know r
You seem to be pretty well posted in
geography, but as l wanted to tell
And on grammar, tool' exclaimed
| the teacher, jumping up again. What
is noun? A noun is the name of any
person, place or thing. Give US an ex-
ample Man, dog, cat, coon, goat, jack
knife, fsh-hook, gate-post. What are
| the principal conjunctions? And, as,
| both, because, for, il, that, or, nor, neith-
er, either, and so forth and so forth. Oh!
I'm right on the roof of the meeting
house when you sling grammar at mel
/ The member was getting desperate.
and as soon as he could get in word he
said:
II will take your name, and as soon as
"And know arithmetic from cover to
covert" exclaimed the man standing up
again | can 90 through the tables like
lightning through a haystack, and when
you get to fractions and cube root m
awful weigh a ton and half and still
| growing 'Rithmetics my favorite
study, and I'll give you fifty dollars to
find man who'll saw sums in two and
plane EN- down as quickly as l can!"
His speech took the wind out of him,
and the member managed to say there
was no vacancy at present, but he would
take his name and consider his case as
soon as one occurred.
I'D like to commence right off, re-
piled the man, "but I'm willing to wait.
Here's my name and the mint get your
letter III come down flying If you
get me you don't get much style. but you
get solid old common sense and genuine
education. You won't see scholars play
ing hideand-eoop around the wood box
or marbles on the foor-no, you won'tp
And he went out.