The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-03-30
GOSSIP,

On, when the optics dewy grow with grief,
| We banker chiefly for handkerchief.
Moonlight mechanics is the latest for
burglars.
The first breeze raised in Eden-a
hurry-Cain.
"Wide awakes"vCrying babies in
winter nights.
A berth in the Treasury Department Is
to be supplied with Sheats from Alabama.
A dressmaker's apprentice spoke of
her cross-eyed lover as the fellow who's
looks are cut bias.
| A Western man, reading Of cricket
club, writes to know if the club is good
for anything for grasshoppers.
| Detroit has goose which was hatched
in 1903. They are looking for some Michi-
gander commissioner to take her to the
centennial.
Six inches of the effluvium of the Chi
cago river, when struck with club, will
produce eight inches of solid Limburger
cheese, of the best quality.
| Mr. Cobleigh left OFT his flannels on
Tuesday, and on Friday morning he quiz
city said to his wife, "Mid Coblaid, git
by undergloads -gwick!"
| Logansport Ind.) has heightened
pauper who received wood at the ex-
pense OF the township, but who could af-
ford to pay three dollars to have his hair
died.
1t is remarkable fact that wearers of
long moustaches are fond of soups and
custards, and their indulging in them
has a very filling effect on the party OPP
posite.
An Indiana editor has just had a bro
ken pencil extracted from his ear, where
1t has been for sixteen years. If it had
been his scissors he would have had it
| out the first day,
| When Western man gets divorced
from a crusading and strong-minded
wife, the papers say, "Mr. So-and-so has
resigned his position as husband for
Mrs. So-and-so."
"Why Is it," asks an exchange, "that
nearly every Senator's wife in Washing
ton is a handsome womanw Because
nearly every Senator's wife who is not
a handsome woman is left at home.
Now rises the Woman's journal and
says that when DR.. Mary Walker fops
her suspenders over her shoulders and
| gives those pants hitch, no living soul
would suspect she was anything but a
man.
"That clock, stranger" said Michi-
gan farmer, "Was the best kind of a
clock up to six months ago, when my
daughter began to have beaux, and now
the blamed thing is always two hours
too sloww
The Chicago Times starts off local
item thus: "Again the shrlll music Of
the pistol ball has rasped the Chicago
air." In the balmier atmosphere of San
Francisco they call it the "sott note of
the pistol"
An application for relief in Paris was
supported by this recommendation
This unfortunate young man is the
only son OF widow who died without
leaving any children, and he is the sole
support of his aged father and young
brothers,"
A party of Sioux Indians stole 6
patent ice-cream freezer, supposing it tc
be a hand organ, and their "big medi
cine man" turned the crank week be.
fore he would. confess his inability to gel
music out of it.
Aunt Tabitha is worried by the fire..
quent changes of the French ministry.
She says: 81 never had much opinion of
the French people anyway, and nothing
could save them but good, stated, regu-
lar preaching"
This is the season of the year when the
farmer tells his son John that if he will
sort over ten bushels of potatoes, feed
the stock, repair that fence, and reshin-
gle the corn-crib, he may have the rest OF
the day to 50 rabbit hunting.
| Inere are young men VINO can not n0lQ
a skein of yarn for their mothers without
wincing, but will hold 125 pounds of a
neighboring family Tor the best part OF
the night, with a patience and docility
that are certainly phenomena.
Beecher says he intends, on the close
of his trial, to spend few months in
travels. The question now among the
anxious public is, How much will it be a
sight? Will he go under Barnum's super
vision, or run the show alone?
| Jeweler-eWhat kind ola chain would
you liker Young Man-''Well, l don't
know, hardly. What style would you
think would be The most becoming for a
young man who carries groceries to
some of the best families in tOwnW
An English physician asserts that the
sbabies of London are never sober from
their birth until they are weaned." An
old hummer says if he had happened to
have been born in London, he should
have kicked against the weaving busi-
| ness.