Orangeburg times. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1872-1875, 1875-02-18
JOE GATHERS LIFE INSURANCE,
BY Il. A. BERToN,

: JOE GATTER'S LIFE INSURANCE.
BY, II. A. BERToN,
Good?7 He was the model bow of
Bungaeld. While his idle school-mates
were flying kites and playing marbles,
the prudent Joseph was trading Sun
day. school tickets for strawberries and
eggs, which he converted into currency
OF the republic. As he grow up, and
his old school-mates purchased crayats
and hair oil at Squire Taokey's store, it
was the industrious Joseph who stood
behind the counter and took their
money. When the same boys stood on
tho street corners and cast sleeps eyes
at the girls, the business-like Joseph
stood in the store door and contemplated
these same boys with eyes such as a
hungry cat casts upon brood of Young
birds whom he expects to eat when they
grow older. Joe never wasted any time
atparties he never wore fine clothing /:
ne never drank nor smoked: in short,
Joe was go ind y, - 4
he reached his majority he had o thou
sand dollars in the bank and not soli-
tary virtue in hia heart.
For Joe's money good Squire Taokey
had an earnest longing, and soon had it
TO his own account while the sign over
the store door read "Tackey & Gatter.
Then the Squire wanted Joe's soul too,
and 80 earnest was he that Joe soon
found it necessary to demonstrate with
his partner.
"Twon't do, Squire" said he; Gre
ligion's all very we'll in it's place, but
when man loses the sale of dozen
eggs, profit seven cents, because his
partner is talking religion with him 80
hard, that customer gets tired of wait
ing and goes somewhere else, thcn re-.
ligion's out of place."
"The human souls of moro ponse-
kence than many eggs, Joseph" argued
the Squire.
"That's just it," replied Joe, "money
don't hit the value of the soul anyway,
and there's no uso trying to mix 'em.
And while we're talking, don't you
think we might be mixing some of the
settings of the molasses barrel with the
brown sugar?-'twill make it weigh
much better.
The Squire sighed, but he could not
help admitting that Joe was as good n
partner as man could want.
In one of Joe's leisure moments it
struck him that, if he were to die, no.
body would lose cent by the operation.
The idea was too exasperating, and soon
the local agents of noted insurance
companies ceased to enjoy that tran.
guilty which is characteristic of busi-
ness men in that country. Within q
fortnight two Of the agents were ar
raigned before their respective churches 8
for profane brawling, while Joe had
squeezed certain agents into dividing
commissions to the lowest unit of devi.
sibility, and had several policies in the
safe at the store.
The Squire, his partner, was agent for
the Patagonian Mutual, and endured
his full share of the general agony Joe
had caused. But when he had handed
Joe policy and receipt, and taken the
money and connted it twice, and seen to
it carefully that all the bills wero good,
the good Squire took his revenge.
"Joseph, said he, "you amt through
with insurance yet; you need to insure
your soul against risk in the next world,
and there's only one agent that does it. u
The junior partner stretched himsols
on the counter and groaned. He knew
the Squire was right. He had heard
that same story from every minister lie
had ever heard. Joe was 30 agitated
that he charged at twelve and hall
cents some calico he had sold at fifteen.
Only ono Agent ! But the shre d
Joseph rejoioea TO think that those who
represented the Joseph Great Agent diff
iered greatly in the conditions Of the