The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-04-29
Agriculture Under Difficulties.


You are aware that the Agricultural De
partment at Washington is in the habit OF
distributing seeds to those uilers OF the
soil who happen TO want them. Last
spring my Congressman sent me large
package of choice assorted garden SEEDS,
brought by the department from Calltor-
MIA. There were more than wanted, so
gave a lot of sugar beet and onion seed
to Cooley, my next-door neighbor on the
right. and some turnip and raddish seeds
to Pitman. my neighbor on the left Then
planted the rest-turnip, cabbage, celery
and beet seed-in my own garden.
When the plants Began to come up
thought they looked kind of queer, but L
waited until they grew larger, and then,
as l felt certain something was wrong, L
sent for professional gardener, as l don't
know much about such things myself.
Mr.. Hoops l said, least your eye
over those turnips and tell me what you
think is the matter with them"
"Turnip"' exclaimed Hoops. "Tur-
nip! Why, bless your soul, man, that's
not turnip. That's nothin' but pokeberry
You've got enough pokeberry in that bed
to last a million years"
Well, Mr.. Hoops, come over here to
this bed. Now how does that celery
strike youe The muniicent Federal
Government is spreading that celery all
over this land of the free. Great, isn't
it?'
We'll, wellr' said Hoops, and they
showed that off on you for celery, did
theys Too bad, Its nothing on earth
but pokeberry. That is the California
kind. The deadlieSt pokeberry that was
ever invented"
Are you sure you're not mistaken,
Mr.. Hoops: But you haven't seen my
beetS there in the adjoining bed. The
SEED Of those beets were sent from Homo
lulu hy our Consul there. He reports that
the variety attains gigantic size
Really, now" said Hoops, II don't
want to hurt your feelings. but to be fair
and square with you, As between man and
man. thems no beets, you know. Them's
the Mexican pokeberry. l pledge you my
word. it's the awfulest variety of that
plant that grows. Tn stay in this Yer
garden forever. You'll never get rid OF
it"
This seems little rough. Mr.. Hoops,
but I'd like you to inspect my cabhages.
They're all right, know. The Commits
sioner of Agriculture got the seed from
Borneo. They are the curly variety, |
think You boil them with pork, and
they cut down beautifully for slaw. Look
at those plants, will you: Amt they
splendid"
Mr. Adeler," said Hoops, I've got
some bad news to break to you, but hope
you'll stand it like man. These affliC-
| tions come to all Of us in this life, sir.
They are meant for our good. But,
| really, sir, there's no Borneo cabbages
Cabbages! Why, man, them's merely &
mixture of California and Mexican poke
berry with the ordinary kind, and little
Usage orange sprinkled through. Its
awful, sir! Why, you've got about two
acres of pokeberry and not a blessed bit OF
cabbage or turnips among them
Mr.. Hoops, this is terrible news. And
do you know l gave lot Of those seeds TO
Cooley and Pitman,''
Il know you did, and l seen Mr..
Cooley this morning with shotgun,
goin' round askin' people if they knew
where he could find YOU
=" Find me! what do you mean"
well, you see, sir, that there onion
seed you gave him was really the seed OF
the silver-maple tree, and its grOwed up
50 thick all over his garden that cat
can't crawl through it. There's about
100000 shoots ard suckers in that
garden, and they'll have to be cut out
with a handsaw. It'll take year to
do it"
" You appall me. Hoops"
| And that's not the worst of it, Them
roots is 50 matted and interlocked jest be-
meath the surface that you can't make
any impression on EN- with a pickax
That garden of Cooley's is ruined,
entirely ruined, sir You might
blast them roots with gunpOwder and it
wouldn't make no difference And them
suckers will grow faster than they're
cut down. He'll have to sell the property.
| sir"
And the Commissioner of Agriculture
said that was onion seed! Why didn't
Cooley hunt him with shot gum"
Yes, sir, and Judge Pitman's got
pokeberry and silver maple CROWN all
over his place, too, and he's as mad as
well, you just ought to hear him snortin'
around town. He'll kill somebody, I'm
afeared"
Subsequently settled with Cooley and
Pitman; but oughtn't something to be
| done with that Agricultural Department .
1t will break up farming in this country il
| it is allowed to continue-.Har Adsler.