, 1875-01-03

by Messrs. Haden,s long-triel apparatus Eyery urs
caution ts bong taken to 1naha the building perfect
Of two architects have been sscured-Afessr. r D
Barry and William Paralon, Of the 6rm Of Pazs1on
| ClaEka.
SHORT AND SWEET,
A1egal gentleman seasouably observes tha
long before King Alfred'a time the Christian er,
| introduced trial BY Jowry.
"a sparrer shall not fall to the ground" WI
| al the comfort bo1ing~maater garo ~ hi
knocked us down Observation-Disclosures Sen
! tiael
/ 3. l. Ives is clergyman In Auburn, and nheu
he gives people bis card they lose their temperz
! and say how the deuce should they know vheth.
| er he Is or not.
wicked man In Davenport, being on biz
death-bed, wished to consult soma proper per
son regarding his future state. and his friends
sent = 6re-lnsurance agent TO him.
There is man at Haverhill, Mass, who claims
to have traded horses thirty-sevea times and
cheated the other man every TINA, 2nd yet when
his wife died the other day he promised to meet
her in Heaven.
There aro thirty OF forty different kinds OF
religion in this country. And it worries the celes-
rial entry clerk immensely to have people tumb-
II
-Brooklyn argus.
Here is the description OF mean church
which has a moral IN it: ''After the pastor
died, the DeaconB vent round for q $3.50 min
lister. and you get about as much minister for
that prics as you get psalm tunes ou5 Of 4 fiIe."
" Fahrenheit" t"-Rector-'tA We ahalI bo
comfortable this morning, GrufIles; see you've
got tho temperature up nicely. Sixty, declare!"
CLERK" Yes, sir, allus hev trouble to get
| faxk
minute :"
Tho brooklyn Argus remarks that " there arc
those rho Eaay have noticed how auddealy the
truly considerato man wili leave church when he
secs the plate coming round. and walk hone in a
binding snow-storn. that he may yield the seat
in bis carriage to some ,ntirm sister,"
The truly good boy, said pious Brooklyn
gels are lowering around, and will always pro-
tect him from danger. To prove it, she locked
up her 8-yeaf-oId in dark roora aud in about
seventeen seconds he knocked OIL $40 worth of
plaster trying to get through the usll
1hcro is grufr old PARTY in Brooklyn who
fTes opposite to q church Where the members Of
the choir meet twice week for practice, aud
WHO says il the singing Affects heaven as it At
focts him theceV be NO uas OF going thesa for
happiness-
While q good Milwaukee woman u.s having
family prayers ono OF the kreeling children
pulled the cats tail, and 4 prolonged cat-howl
was the result. Tho pious mother aross, took
that boy over her lap and administered sharp
correction, going on with her heavenly petition
al the time.
A ninistsrial believer in Woman's RIGHTS
having preached telling sermon on "Woman,n
WAS met shortly after BY \ lady who enthusiast
callr exclaimed, 30 Mr. -, wa have been talk
ing about your sermon, and want the privilege OF
putting up monument to yon!" Tbs minister
zf 4 rAa inf
cd, but he has never preached that sermon SINCE
The latest chrome story comes from Down
East, where Sunday-school teacher said to one |
Of her pupils: 81 Johnny. why don't you invito |
your friend Billy to como to Sabbathschool with
you?" Johnny looked up, with grin full Of in
know yer, teacher. You want to get Billy inter |
tho class SOS you can get = chrome for now !
scholar"
This is the way ono choir sings tho fi1st rerss |
of 'Jerusalen, my happy home":
Yi.s-lu-4ah-lene, Yic-1u-sah-leng,
Ling-cong z-'eo kyi-z ws tao,
Peh n.o ziu gyi cn-we7
Thu choir to which We now refer il composed !
# Ch.namen; but there are plenty Of American |
:hoirs that can sing it just as badly.
An English lady, teaching at Que Of tho Sun |
lay-schools ia Inverness, explained tho con- /
't1uclion Of the Tower of label. mentioning
much stone at their doors, bricks are not much
lsed in building at Inverness, aud tho English
OF the word was new to the pupils,
IN examining the class at the next meeting, tao
hildren we're asked, "Whns vas the Tower OF
Babel made off," Trousers, ma'am T. WAS tho
eady answer.
The venerable President Finney, Of Oberliu
;ollegc. has his peculiar notions about church
music. He has been known to Violently r Ill the |
oat-tails OF the organ!st-uho sits bel1iud the ]
ulplt-when be thought the individual WAS in
utging in too lively music. On Sunday, after t.
eyerend gentleman offered tho following poti-
ion: 30, Lord, VIC baye sung an anthem 10 Thy
raise. Thou knowest the words but ne do not
Ve do pray Thee that those Tho thus led Us may
pen their mouths that ne may know what they
~, that We may join 10 Thy praise. May they
OF sing to be heard Of men. May they not
lock Theo and offend Thy people, or the house
t God, By making display OF themselves"
Hero is al extract from the '.Portnruese-
ngsh Conversational Guide" showing the
tnuaing blunders made in translation. The sub
,ct Is that little interview between Balsan and |
nother with which We are ali familiar; and in
lis wise does our Portuguese professor put in
English: "A Protestant minister, very cholerlc.
Is explained to the children the Pentateuco;
ut arriving at tina article Bdlddn. A young boI
'mmenced to laugh The minister NTH indigna-
on, chide, threaten. aud endeavor ones to provo
lat asB Was can speak, especially when he saw
afore him angel armed from . sword Tho
tile boy continued to laugh more strons. The
in1stcr had flied into passion. and gave kick
e child, which told him weeping-'A Ah admit
at The ass Of Dalaam did spoken, but he did no
cks.'"
''pE PRoFurD1s;" Kzw vEnmax.
Pity the sorrows of poor old man,
Cloes prisoner Kept within the Vatican:
What II it's fair palace, il don't
Gofreo atroad,-that Is because wontI
Dry bread and water, such tho prison food:--
Unless chooae to oEaez all thAta good
And then 20 poor,-witA peter's pence In rocket
And treasury with friends and focs to stock it.
Beeides these felon's garments forcod to wear
OF softest silk and cossuess mohair: !
And forced to brook, hJ rnlczs harsh aud proud,
Til obaequfoua service OF serviIa crowd
Crowding my hals, my cruel gsolezs, see,
Waiting ny orders uFon banded knee!
And last, not leaat,---for the severeat blow =
Mr. Tisitors are free to come aud 60, +
To crave my blessing, and to Kiss my toeHFuueh. | q
CHURCH SERVICES. y
EPISCOPAL. Il
rhe Rev. H. g: Perry viii preach morning and oYen-