Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-11-24
MYSTERIOUS JIM.

MYSTERIOUS JIM.
Utah subject under the Hands of a
Phrenologlst.
From the Salt Lake Tribune,
The boys said he was ssbumpo-.
logist, and he spread his tricks in the
Headquarters Saloon. Laying his
hand on the back of bar-room chair.
he said:
Gentlemen, / am a phrenologist, and
II one of you will please take this seat
l shall endeavor to illustrate this grand
science. giving you the names and func-
tons OF the various organs, and
Say, pard, hold up thar I'm yer
chicken T. and as Mysterious Jim set
led himself into the chair, he continued:
s"This sculp of mine was through the
mill, pard. eve had yards of stickin'
plaster on that thar, an if yer after
bumps [ rather think yell find EN-"
You could hear pin drop on the floor
as the man of science passed his hands
through the iron gray hair of that tough
head. After feeling around for few
moments, he said:
Gentlemen the brain is the organ of
the mind; according to size, culture and
SO forth, will there be mental manifesto
tions. The seat of intellect is the fore
mead; the affections are on the backhead;
the construction, or go ahead power, is
on the side: moral and spiritual senti-
ments are found on the top. I find that
this gentleman has the organic quality
fairly developed, bis tastes are elevating
rather than degrading, and his tenden-
cies are upward, rather
Correct ye are, pard; up to the
hume amt no name for it. Fraser river
ave me the first boost, and I've ben
goin' up ever SINCE"
edo not interrupt, please. ] find
he has full share of vital stamina; can
work we'll and endure considerable hard
| ship, but has no life force to waste on
fruitless efforts, his
Right again, Bunny. I be dog
gone if I amt been tryin' to .explain
that print for the last twenty five years,
an [ amt saved yit. Fruitless work
don't agree with my constitution, no.
| how ye can fix it, an
81 beg of you not to interrupt the
proceedings again. He loves the oppo-
site sex with a good deal of tenderness,
and -
"Say, Bumpy, hold on thar! Jist
place my finger on that bump, SO; what
do We call that ?"
"That bump is called Amativeness.
Your y
"Bumpy, let me feel round that lump
and think. I've faint recollection of
woman, billet of stove wood an that
bump. Say love the women as much
| q nj hIYf c1c
the tenderness. And Jim took chew
OF tobacco
The phrenologist continued, ellis
love for home is not very strong, and
he can remove from one place to anoth-
or without regret"
Mysterious Jim springs to his feet as
though stung by hornet. "Say, bar
keeper, mix cocktail for Bumpy: he's
trump card every time. What-don't
indulge? Take a lemonade; it's good,
for preachers take it,
While the bumpologist was slipping
his drink, Jim continued:
"Begret pullin' up stakes? Not
much. jist got fifteen minutes to
leave Virginia, an hour to get out of
Helena, and by gum I jist made the
rifle out of Bozeman by the skin of my
teeth. Regret leavin' we'll I shouldn' t
say so, by Jupiter!"
"Combativeness fairly developed, !"
continued Bunpv, ''and he can be
aroused to degree of combartive spirit
not easily resisted, but disposed to
shrink from rough and disagreeable
contact"
''That is, disposed ter get under the
table when the lights are out an pistol
practices goin' on Correct every
time, Bunny. Proceed"
"You will always assert and maintain
your rights. giving way to no opposi-
tion-''
''That's it here, ell ?" said Jim,
placing his hand on his head. ssWell,
came to think, I believe a handle
helped to delelop that bump wonderful
~"
81 find hope very small"
"Shouldn't wonder, Bumpy. I've
been ivin' on hope an half rations nigh
onto twenty years. sot over prairie
dog hole six hours one time, waitin
for him to come out, an he didn't. If
that wont use bump up, I'd jist like to
know what would. Geewh1ikins but
was hungry, hadn't had square meal
in month";
Having dismissed Jim, the phrenolo-
gist expressed his readiness to fill charts
for the boys.
Mysterious Jim said, as he took his
drink at the bar:
NO use hunting bumps on my head,
boys, they were all knocked into one
long ago."
A COnnubial Controversy. .e >
From the Detroit Free Press.
The bolt on the back door had need
ed replacing for long time, but it was
only the other night that Mr.. Throcton