Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-10-22


And why didn't you get awayp'
'H-had a sore h-heel.'
Was much of fight y
Yves, sir-I licked him.
What caused the 6ght p
He kicked my little brother
NV son. said the court after a glance
through the window, there was once
boy. He was good boy. He didn't hook
apples or put pins under anybody. His
face was clean, his hair was slick. All
be was a Jewel of boy. He wouldn't
chat, lie, swear, or fight. He went to bed
early, got up early, minded his mother,
and what do you think became Of him p
Got run over by buss y sobbed the
boy.
No, my son he got to be Governor of
Michigan. Will You promise and try to
be Governor p
Yes
And the next time you'll run rather
than fight i
'Y-yes, sir, if can't get bold off club
He was told to go.-Ddroit Free Press.
PAID IN HIS Own CoIN.-There was
once farmer on Long Island, who was
about as mean as mean could be. He was
rich-for mean people almost get rich; and
be scrupled at nothing that would add q
dollar to his pile. Not far from him lived
shiitless sort of a negro, who loved to
steal better than he did TO work and the
farmer said to hlm once
Glen. will give you fifty cents BUSH
el for all the potatoes you will bring me-
and don't care where you get them.'
Clem jumped at the chance, but asked
him where he could get them.
L don't care where. Of course you will
steal 'em. But that's none of my business
The bargain was struck; and every night
for week Glenn would drive to the farm
er's house with load of potatoes, carry
them into the cellar, and receive his pay
for them. At length The farmer ask him
where be got them.
Stole ,em, boss = replied the darkey with
grin.
oh, up in your side-lot p replied the
negro, wbile grin took entire possession
of his face
He got away in time to save bis sable
back i; but that farmer hasen't bargained
with him since to steal anything.
A YANKEE TRAVELLER out west has
written 20 bis mother, telling her his ex-
perience as follows Western people are
death on etiquette. You can't tell man
here that he lies without fighting. A few
days ago a man was telling one Of his neigh
bors, in my hearing, pretty large story.
Says I. Stranger. that's whopper J. Says
he, LAY there. stranger and in the twink
ling of an eye found myself in the ditch,
a perfect quadruped. Upon another oc-
casion says TO a man / never saw before,
as woman passed, That isn't specimen
of your western women, is it p Says he,
You're afraid of fever and ague, amt
you p Very much,' says l. WE'LL re-
piled he, that lady is my wife !: and if you
don't apologize in two minutes, by the
honor of gentleman / swear that these
two pistols which he held cooked in his
hands-shal cure you Of that disorder en-
tirely.' So knelt down and politely apoil-
gized. ! admire the western country
much ; but durn me if can stand 80 much
etique.te-it always takes me unawares.'
DIR. GUToRIE, in recent address told a
very suggestive story, to this effect:
A friend of his, questioning little boy,
said:
'When your father and mother forsake
you, Johnny do you know who will take
you upp'
Yes, sir y said he.
And who p said the friend.
The police T. was Johnuy's reply.
THE domestic individual who can fit
five joints of four-inch stove pipe over three
six-inch joints in a half day, singing and
whistling There's Light in the Window
for the Thee and I'm Pilgrim, Bound
for Glory answer the door bell, entertain
q book agent, pare apples for the Young
ones and carry 10 wood, besides other in
terruption from his wife, without getting
on bis ear, is prepered 10 die.
NO. he said, contemptuously, it's easy
enough for man TO make money nowadays.
Times are different from what they was.
Then there was solid work about it. Now
all you have to do is TO take your surplus
and buy things when they're low and sci
when they're high, and there it is in nut
shell. A child could DO it. BY the way,'
be added, could you lend me half-a-dollar
for few days.?
THERE was French singer, with tre-
mendous voice, who gould not discover
what line in art he was best fitted for. He
went TO Cherubini, who told him to sing.
lie sang and the foundation trembled.-
We'll, he said, when he had finished, 'illIs-
trious master, what shall become p An
auctioneer,' said Cherubini.
ATA TERRITORIAL HANGING, the victim
who had been literally supplied with wbis-
key prio 20 fulfilling his engagement with
the Sheriff, was asked at the last moment
If he would have anything. Just drop,
he replied. He got it. 1t was about six
fest and broke his neck. He took drop
500 much