The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-10-16

| Her mouth! Oh mouth! u ncetlnS nhsh!
From ear to ear a lovely cash!
mouth for kisses!
o gaudy cavern, slopng down,
| I'll hurl myself within and down,
| la awful blisscs!
How pleasant a thing 1t is to see the rural ed
itors living in harmony! The Bloomington Pm
tagraph says that the illness of Il hand.organ
grinders monkey excites the deepest interest in
the bosom of the editor Of a rival paper, who
hopes to succeed to the position in Of fatal
termination of the disease.
Here is an editorial article complete from q
Georgia paper: "Evcr and anon the hydra-head-
I'd problem Of the gubcrnatorial ghoul raises IT.
self Just high enough to proclaim one more vic.
tim for the grand ARRAY OF next summer"
An inscription on a franklin tombstone re-
cords the fact that an honest lawyer lies buried
there. The tombstone is very old.-MtnerS
tJourndk eI.HH
| A conscientious farmer in Lewiston, Me-, wiped
the mud from his cart-wheels before permitting
his load of hay to 20 on the scales to he weighed
| The fact that G L. Fox, the pantomine clown
has paralysis OF the facial muscles should not
perhaps DO forgotten by ladies who paint, II
their are any ladies who do paint. tl..
The Boston Post asserts that the most fashion.
able nightcaps are those made OF hot Scotch
but there's nothing like Irish linen with lemon.
Dubuque minister Is charged with throwing
kisses across pasture half mile wide at wo.
man sixty.cight years old. Can anyone say
whittier we are drifting!
al Quad of the Detroit Free Press announc-
nc hat mi ps cannot charm hirda and ~ he
goes around with red necktie on over u stand
up collar, and winks at pretty girls In the win.
d0ws, just as though they'd come down.-SL
Louis Republican.
The editor OF the Denison (Texas) Crescent
grows delightfully."- enthusiastic on the SUBJECT
and bursts out:
:" See to it that your wife Is kissed and petted
and caressed, even If you have to dol yoursely."
Now that quail and ducks are in season, when
an editor takes his shot gun and starts out, that
is no reason why people should dodge out of
sight under the impression that he is on a tour
Of collecting newspaper subscriptions. Times
are to hard to waste ammunition in that way.
cigar manufacturer has entered the political
field in Dubuque as candidate for Alderman. He
is said to have some very strong 'backers.-N. y.
Commercial AdyeytiScr. And his friends are puff
fling him good DEAL we supposc.-Ne,o Hdveas
Journal. And he'll take the stump" of course
Boston Post But his opponents say he won't
HAVANA chance of election.-Chicago Times. For
every one who votes for him he will make
Diamond Crown.-4urora Duty Nears The prob
abilities are that he will be F." smoked OUT
Danbuy Ne,os. Softly, Mr.. Danhury Ners. Your
Connecticut 'raps are mean enough to ruin any
cigar maker. .H .
Eptaph in the cemetery at Keysvillc, ~ Y:
Sarah Thomas is dead, ....
And that's enough,
The candle Is out, .... |
Also the snuff. r...
Her souls in Heaven,
You need not fear
And all that's left
Is inferred here
1t is claimed that since the completion Of the
artcsan well TT Marseilles, every one there
drinks water exclusively, This is binding on the
saloons but when the novelty OF pure water
wears off, the citizens of that burg will return to
first principles, which Is whisky, dc.
Some Pennsylvania workmen recently, en-.
gagged in cxcavating, found a gold watch several
feet below the surface. They thought they had
found the original bank whereOn the wild time
grew.-St. Louis RepuJlican
Judy advises those contemplating matrimony
to keep on contemplating it and they won't get
hurt Were blgamists common in England
rs here J,D'y wouldn't have said such thing
Tramp, tramp, tramp, 20 the army of vag-ants
md thieves over New England and the people {
Try in vain for relief. The fault is not so much
with the laws as with the tender-heartcd people
themselves.
AS the ladies walked on the beach with their
lalr down, because otherwise " it takes SO long
o dry" II was the enfdnt terrible who said tri.
Mamma leaves all hers ut the
iotel."
Tennessee girl didn't sue her lover for
preach of promise when he deserted, but mount.
ID "A mule and shouldering II shotgun she can
cred along on his trail and gave him his choice
between shooting and marrying.
The funeral cortegc moved slowly down the
street, and as she left the house of mourning
The observed to her companion: Lizzie, II any
IF our folks should die | don't think I'd wear .
rape rosettes on my bonnet, would your"
French scientist has invented a new fish
lait. A bottle is lowered into the water and
lighted by electricity and the fish are to fol.
CIV into Il net. But this is a method already EN-.
>leYed In the open air oyer In New Jersey. One
n two bottles filled with Jersey lightning will r
iraw whole primary meeting.-.Nec York Rey-
ih
Gov. llattranft, OF Pennsylvania, is credited I
With doing away with the idiotc custom of hang
ne men on Friday in that State. The propricty {
If hanging Pennsylvanians every day in the
week should long ago have suggested this
,hange.
\ cherry ncompletely ripe, I
His little business did for him. {
And now, serenely free from GRIPPE Z
He Is bob.tailed cherubim,
Is George VS. very latest
Oliver Wendell Holmes has written q very
pretty piece Of poetry to the memory of "Bnl
aud Joe" He commits the error Of supposng
that Joe is dead
The telegraph announces the important fact ,
that Senator Jones, OF Nevada, is at present in