The Van Buren press., 1875-07-27
How Preacher was Mistaken for :
Prixe-Fighter.

a prominent prize fighter, named Joseph
Striker, and rumors were afoat, few
weeks ago, that the latter Joseph WAS
about to engage in contest with = Jer-
sey pugilist for the championship. Our
sheriff considered it his duty to warn Jo-
seph against the proposed infracti0n Of
the laws, and so he determined TO call on
the professor of the art OF self defence.
Unfapply, in inqairing the way to the
| pugilists house, somebody misundsr-
stood the sheriff, and sent him to the res
idence of the Rev JOS Striker, of whom
he had never heard When Mr.. Striker
entered the room, in answer to the sum
mons, the sheriff said to him, familiarly !:
i Hello, Joe, how arc your
Mr, Striker was amazed 1t this address,
but he politely said
Good morning
joe said the sheriff, throwing his
leg lazily over the arm Of his chair, /.
came round to see you about that mill
with Patsey Dingus, that they're all talk
ing about want YOU to understand
that it can't come off anywhere around
here. iou know. well enough. it's against
the law, and ain't going to have It.
Mill! mill, sirS What, ON earth, do
you mean J! asked Mr.. Striker, in aston
ishment, / do not own any mill, sir.
Against the law2 | don't understand
you, SIR
Now, see here, Joe, said the sheriff,
biting off piece Of tobacco, and look
/ ing very wise. that won't go down with
me. It's very thin, you know. know
well enough that yon have put up u 900
on that little affair. and that you've got
the whole thing fixed with Bill Martin for
referee. ! know you're going down to
Pea Patch island to have it out, and I'm
not going to allow it. I'll arrest you as
sure as gun, If you try 1t on, now mind
me-.
Really, sil, said MF. Striker, there
must be some mistake about
'Oh, no, there isn't. Your names
Joe. Striker, isn't itg asked the sheriff.
My name is Joseph Striker, certainly.
Il know it, said the sheriff, splitting
on the carpet, and you see I've got this
thing dead to right 1t shan't come of,
and I'm doing you faver in blocking
the game, because Patsy'd curl you all up
and siekcn you anyway, IL I'd let you
meet him. know he's the best man,
and you'd lose your money, and get bad
bunged up, besides; so you take my ad
vice, now, aud quit. You'll be sorry, II
you don't
I do not know what you are referring
to- said Mr.. Striker, your remarks are
incomprchcnsible to me, but your tone 10
| .'.... !. Va. e,f"nsisa and if you have any bu-
joe said the sheriff, looking at him,
With benign smile, yon play II pretty
we'll. Anybody'd think you were inno-
cent as lamb But it won't work, Jo-
seph; it won't work, tell you. I've
got duty to perform, and I'm going to
do it, and ] pledge to you my word, II
you and Dingus don't knock off now, Ill
grab yen, and send you up for 10 years,
as sure as death; I'm in earnest about
/ it.
What do you mean. sir7 asked Mr..
Striker. fcrcely.
.Oh, don't you 60 to putting on any
airs, about it. Don't you try any strut
ting before me, or I'll put you under bail
this very afternoon. Let's see, how long
were you in Jail, the last timer Two,
years, wasn't it2 Well, you 60 fighting
with Dingus, and you'll get ten years,
suren
You are certainly crazy' exclaimed
Mr.. Striker.
Il don't see what you want to stay At
that business for, anyhow, said the sher-
itf. Here you are in snug home where
you might live in peace and keep respect
able. But no, you must associate with
low characters, and 60 to stripping your
self naked, and jumping into a ring to
get your nose bloodied and your head
swelled and your body hammered 10 a
jelly, and all for what3 Why, for .
championship It's ridiculous. What
good'll it do you il you are champion:
Why, don't you try to be honest and de-
cent, and let plize- fighting alonep
! This is the most extraordinary con-
versation ever listened to- said Mr..
Striker. You evidently mistake me for
4 A.
IN take you for Joe. Striker, and II
you keep on, I'll take you to Jail, said
the sheriff, with emphasis Now, you
tell me who IS got those stakes, and who's
and who's your trainer, and III put an
end to the..whole thing
You seem to imagine that am pu-
cilist,' said Mr. Striker. Let me inform
you. sir, that am Clergyman.
Joe, said the sheriff, shaking his head
it's too bad for you to lie that way-too
bad indeed.
But am clergymon, pastor of the
church of ST. Sepulchre. Look! here is
letter in my pocket addressed to me-
You don't really mean to say that yon
are preacher named Joseph Striker 7
exclaimed the sheriff. looking scared.
Certainly am. Come up stairs. and
I'll show you barrelfut of my sermons
We'll. if this don't beat Nebuchadnex-
Ear = said the sheriff, this is awful
Why, l mistook you for Joe Striker, the
prize fighter! don't know how | ever
"A preacher! What an ass I've made ol
myself! don't know how to apologize,
but if you want to kick me down the
front steps, just kick away. II bear II
like an angelr
Then the sheriff withdrew unlocked.
and Mr.. Striker went up stairs to finish
his Sunday sermon. The sheriff talked
, of resigning. but he coRtinues to hold
on.-New York Weekly