The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-11-16
In General.
Spanish &s Sktsst s,ner...

The best thing to give q mean man is
ic give him the go.by.
What's 10 a name ? d. Ssavcr drives
st. Louis milk wagon.
1t is difficult to tell how much a 6sh
will weigh BY looking at the scales.
Gao woman pass the hat ? Not if it
Is on exhibition 10 the shop window.
This is the football season. A good
way to learn tho srt i, to practice OF
traDps.
John Ph@9iT wrote funny thing, AMI
Iefs his widow $4,000 in sssh. Lsss
all be funny.
Young women are advised to set good
examples, because young men are always
following them.
The lawyer who said bis mouth never
uttered lie, probably spoke through his
uose.
Tailor, measuring fat customer
Would YOU hold the end, sir, while l
90 around -
The most effective way for boy 10
learn bee sees-by just putting his f..
ger into the hive.
"Ssmbo. this am a magnificent day for
10 race - What race, Ssuh3 ?"
"Why, de colored race. you stupid mig
ga"
a Colorado man has sent some apr e.
TO the President in o red white I'd
blue barrel. Good deal of Color. do
about that
"Toll me, Mary, How to Woo Thee"
is tho title Of recent diity. Give het >
psir OF diamond earrings aud tortoi.e
shell comb for her back hair.
A fruit dealer in Barclay street, New
York. having removed u few doors. has
stuck upon bis old stand, "Gone to bet.
ter place above -
The Revolutionary fire still burns, A
PeuosY vsDisn is us,bg stove that a.
been 10 service for one hundred and I've
years.
An lrishmau, being bound over 'to
keep rhe peace against all her maj .,sy's
subjec's muttored. Heaven help the
first foreigner | meet"
A Vincennes. Ind., man and wife after
stand up & ,bt Of an hour concluded to
call it draw" She drew about six
haudluls of hair out of his head.
Is there a country editor 10 be world
who can speak avoraby Of q new Daper
aud not wish it success, or say, Here's
our s<- ?"
A popular writer, speaking of tho
ocean telegraph, wonders whether the
news transmitted through the salt water
viii DO fresh.
Gi,hering autumn leaves vas formerly
a fashionable amusement, but siusn the
irruption Of the piach back dress tie
gathering has been eon6acd to boys.
A retired schoolmastts excuses ht
passion for angling by sying that, fiom
constant habit, he never feels qlite Linz
self unless he's handling the rcd.
10 putting up stove remember th-t
the elhsw uas made to fit the oven doo':
and that six blows from an a will kurk
thunder and lightning out Of any joint.
A New Jersey female institute con.
taips fhirty.iou red headed girls, aud
the principal dispenses with gas aud sl
other artificial light. Norristoun Her
QM
What is that dog barking at 2" asked
i a Top, whose boots were more polished
than his ideas. Why" said a bye.
stsader, "he sees another puppy 10 t1E
boots
The castor bean i. cultivated 10 Kan.
sas, and castor oil factory has been
erected at Fort Scott Even the West is
not without this pleasant and exhiIaiating
beverage.
Will some benevolently incIiDed friend
donate US newspaper published Il ID
Fall which does not allude to the f ct
that 1.-The melancholy days have come :"
Brio Brae.
Noisy little hoy. in Cincinnati are
told th-. right in the centre Of the hind
hoois Of every live mule there is Il tile
lump of gold, whcL Can be easily dug
out with peuknife
! Tine prisoner at tho bar seems to have
a very sm0oh faoe," said spectator to
Ibe jailor. Yes" replied the j,lor, "hs
Sas irooed Just before be Was btoH at
in"
There's one pleasant thing about ho Sc
cleaning. A man can straddlo hims, If
out in the parior for a day or two and
spit on the floor without spoiling Bus.
ses carpet Norcich Bulletin.
There's letter in the candle" is l. .
tile Of e new song. It's a pretty PIC.
iuetion, but yet We can't help thinkir q
that If tie otter stays there NJ IT'S o.
Ing to get scorcAed so that 40 ono can
read IT,
PA guess our man Ralph is good
Christian. How so. my hoy :"
WHY, | read 10 the Bin that the wick.
cd shall not live ou, hal his days and
Ralph says he has lived cut eve sincs ha
was little boy"
A gentleman vas examining an um-
brello and commenting upon its hne quai.
ity Yes" said c person present, "he
fancies everything be secs" And "
added third party. ais iueioed to size
everything he isucias"
The Rsv. Mr.. Ksloch, of California.
formerly of Massachusetts, thinks that
there is no more siu 10 going to theatre
than in going to y church festival, but
that young men should not 90 TO either
when their washing bills arc unpaid.
Copy was out. TIE devil picked up a
paper aud ssid NHtiere's somethinr