River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-12-30

general nobility of character, and his
stately metaphorical speech, and his Chi
valric love for the dusky maiden, and
the picturesque pomp of his dress and nc
coutrementS.
When | found the shops at Niagara
Falls full of dainty headwoTk and stun.
ming moccasins, and equally stunning toy
figures representing human beings who
carried their weapons in holes bored in
their arms and bodies shaped like pie,
knew that now was going TO come face
TO face with the noble red man.
4 lady clerk in the shop told me, in
deed, that all her grand array were made
by the Indians. and there were plenty
about the Falls, and that they were
friendly, and that it would not be dam
gerous to speak to them.
came upon camp Of them gathered
in the shade of great tree. making moe
casins, and addressed them in the follow
ing language Of friendship:
mobile Red-men, Brave Grand Sachem,
War Chiefs, SquawS, and Highly ou.Nuck-
asserting sun greets you You, Benet-
cent Po,e-cat.you Devourer of mountains.
you, Roaring Thundergust-tho pale.
face from beyond the great waters greet
you all.
"War and pestilence have thinned your
ranks and destroyed your once proud ma
ton. Poker and seven.up and vain
modern expense for soap unknown to
your glorious ancestors) have depleted
your purses. Appropriating in simphci-
ty the property of others has gotten you
into trouble. disappearing facts OF
your sinless innocence has damaged your
usDutation with the soulless usurper.
Trading with forty.rod whisky, to ena Bile
you to get drunk ana tomahawk your
families. has played the everlasting mis-
chef with the picturesque pomp of your
dress, and here you are IN the broad light
OF the neteenth century, gotten mp like
the ragtag and bobtail Of the purlieus Of
New York For shame Remember
your ancestors! Recall the mighty deeds!
Remember Uncas and Red Jacket and
Hole-in.the-Day and Horace Greeley
Emulate their achievements Unfurl
yourselves under my banner, noble saw
ages. illustrious guttersnipes -
'Down wild him !"
"Scalp the blaggard ~
"Hang him."
"Dhrown him.
1t was the quickest operation that !
ever saw. simply saw sudden flash IN
the air of clubs, brickbats, fists, bead
baskets, and moccasins - a single flash,
and they all appeared to hit me at once
and no two of them in the same place.
In the next instant the entire tribe was
upon me. They tore all the clothes of
of me they broke all my arms and legs
they gave me thrmp that denied the
top of my head till it would hole coffee
like a saucer; and then to crown their
disgraecful proceedings and add insult to
injury they threw me over the Horseshoe
Tails and got wet.
About ninety nine or a hundred feet
from the top the remains of my vest
caught on a projecting rock, and | was
almost drowned before ! could get loose.
finally fell and brought up in world
of foam at the foot of the Fall, whose
celled and hubby masses lowered up
several inches above my head.
Ofcourse | got into the eddy. | sailed
round and round it forty-four times,
chasing chip and gaining on it each
round trip half mle-reaching the
Sdtilc DuSn OH luC Ddilh lOIbl -iOuI lliiltSg
and just exactly missing it by hairs
breadth every time.
At last man walked down and sat
down close TO that bush and put a pipe in
his mouth ana lit a match and followed
me with one eye and kept the other on
the match while he sheltered it in his
hands from the wind. Presently puff
of wind blew it out.
The next time swept around him he
said: SCOT match 2"
"Yes-in my other vest. Help me out,
please"
''Not for Joe"
When came round again he said:
Excuse the seemingly impertinent
curiosity of drowning man. but will Yol