The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1875-03-11
DUnpkINsoA.
BY JUDY.

My acquaintance with Dumpklnson was
made in this way:
Dumpkinson- goodness knows how
was member of the ''Jollyboy," cele-
brated club for good cookery and good
wines. | am fond of good feeding, and
wanted to get into the ''Jollyboy.'
Smith, friend of mine, and member
of the "Jollyboy,' would .'put me up,
but wanted ''seconder.' did not
know where to find one.
At this crisis Dumpkinson, threw him
self into the breach. l did not know
Dumpkinson, except in the way of bust.
ness, but accepted his offer with rap
ture.
Putting Dumpkinson to Smith as my
''seconder,' Smith made face and said
''No, you don't"
said. 81 did, though Smith then
made another face and said: 'Well, if
you wiH have him; only the chance is
that you will have 'Doleful Dumps as he
is called, for the rest of your life after
this"
This, thought. was rather a strange
speech; however, thought no more of it,
and in due time became full-hedged
Jolly boy."
1t was only right then, Of course, that
for Smith and Dumpkinson' kind efforts
| should stand them dinner at the
"Jolly boy
wrote to Dumpkinson. He "would
be pleased to come" he wrote back
overleaf, however, was this astonishing
P. s.: If my poor inside permits" l
did not think any more of this, but set
Dumpkinson down as wag. "All the
better" thought. g He will tell us
some good stories at dinner
then asked Smith. He also ''would
be pleased he said; when, though, |
added casually, and you will meet
Dumpkinson," Smith, oddly enough, rec
objected that he had previous engage
ment for that evening, and cut away as
if in mortal terror. did not think any
more Of Smiths behavior. but set him
down, also, as funny one.
The hour at last came for the dinner,
and with it the man. Dumpkinsou, in
fact.
had never met Dumpkinson before,
my business with him having been all
done by letter, and what at once struck
me abou: him was his appearance Of most
profound detection and an air Of settled
melancholy. In other respects Dump
kinson was very like other fellows.
II am very glad to have the pleasure
Of making your acquaintance" l said.
He looked at me for some minutes II
melancholy surprise, as if The couldn'
help fancying) it was a very long tim,
since any one had made that speech t.
him. Then he put an hand like an I'm
cooked sole into min. and made this re
markable speech:
'sWerc to say it was pleasure to me
sir, making your acquaintance. l shouls
be telling falsehood. have not know,
what pleasure means for many
weary year. My inside. sir-my insid
will not allow me to.
Then he laid his hand on the third but
ton of his waistcoat tenderiy and sighe'
.. deeply.
Dear me-" /. said, alphabetically
l.syou don't look at all we'll; you wan
your dinner. Let's Begin
Dinner. Sir dinner = groaned Dump
J kinson. THAT is thing. sir, my insid
never allows. But I'll sit down wit
: you.
t So we sat down to what had fondl
looked forward to enjoying an uncon
:. monty nice little dinner.
: screen pea. sir. or clear turtlei' sal
1 the brisk waiter to Dumpkinson.
: He gaxed at the man reproachfulIy
o ssDo look he asked plaintively, ''as
( had an inside which could absorb th
! |noxious aid Of ; vegetable soupi Charlie
: lin surprised 1t you! Give me On
! Iteaspocnfal Of turtle"
ii sWill you take sherry or Madeira VT
: your soup !" inquired
e He looked ct me In horror. "Ah, N
Igood sir. }" he said. you are very ne