Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-01

enough for all that / thought him the
ugllest and oldest little imp had ever
seen-was not to me what he was to his
mother. To her indeed he was every-
thing. The mother had superseded the
wife, and the husband was nowhere in
comparison with the child. Edith was
angry too that did not, as she phrased
1T, take to him MORE" and | was angry
that she took to him so much Nav be
that was jealous. On looking back |
should say that was.
just when BERTHE was three months old
fellow in our Office introduced me to
Jack Langhorne. Handsome, wellman-
nered, rich, gay, good-tempered, gener-
| Gus, Jack was just the man to fascinate a
comparatively raw lad, as I still was.
He knew everything, being one of the
kind who start at seventeen as men and
"see life' systematically from that time.
| There was not an accomplishment in
which he was not proficient; not a
game he could not play, giving long odds
| and winning. He was lavish of his
money, and a gambler by inbred instinct
| He was always stalking his fate on
| chance, and hitherto chance had been
| his friend. He used often to say that he
had been too lucky, and that he should
| have to pay for it before he had done.
| Nevertheless the day of payment gave
no sign OF dawning, and Jack went on
stalking and landing, backing the right
color and the winning horse as if he had
a private Nostradamus at his elbow, and
could read the future as other men could
read the past.
l dare say many of my readers will
laugh at me for the confession, but had
never seen race until Jack Langhorne
took me down to the Derby on his drag.
1t was a day both of great enjoyment
and great excitement to me, for under
| his auspices / netted fifty pounds and /
| felt millionaire. / was wild with
| pleasure; perhaps, too, the champagne
| counted for something in my hilarity as
took home to Edith sixth of my year
| ly income, made in fewer hours than it
took me to earn my paltry diurnial
| guinea. Visions of fortune, golden and
bright, passed before my eyes. and al
ready saw Edith queening it in the
park with her housekeeping bays and
| faultless turnout. She should have ev-
erything money could command. What
ever else my visions showed me she was
always in my thoughts and highest in
my hopes
But when / gave her the money she
turned away from me coldly and min
ute after had buried her face in the pill
| low of the sofa where she was lying and
was sobbing. | was good deal sur
| prised, a little shocked and greatly hurt
i had better use the harsher word and
| say vexed- at this outburst. | did not
see the good of it and did not under
stand it. Besides it chills man so
| painfully to be received with GOODNESS
and tears after such day as had spentl
| 1t makes the contrast between life inside
| and outside the home too sharp, and only
sends him further off instead of drawing
| him nearer. However, tears were too
scarce yet for me to disregard or with
stand them, so kissed my wife and did
my best to soothe her, and by degrees
brought her round so far that she left off
crying, and began to kiss the baby as if
| it was something quite new and she had
| never kissed it before.
Though was sorry to see her cry this
vexed me again. She had not seen me
all the day, and she had had the hoy.
thought she might have paid little at
tention to the one who had been absent
to put il on no other ground.
| But when i demonstrated she only
answered: 81 know, George, you do not
care for baby. You never have cared for
| him, and if it were not for me he might
| die of neglect"
/ began to laugh at this. 1t struck me
as too comlcalthat wife should reproach
her husband for not taking care of the
| baby; for surely if there is such thing
| rs womans work" in the world, and
they are not meant by nature and the
| eternal fitness of things to be soldiers
and sailors and lawyers and doctors and
| the Lord knows what besides, that work
| is to be found in the home and the
nursery But she was angry when
| laughed, and raising herself on her elbow
| drew such picture of the infamy, ruin,
| degradation that was to follow on my
| taking to bad courses, founded on my
not caring for baby and my having won
fifty pounds at the Derby, that l seemed
| to be listening to maniac, not the
! Edith / had left in the morning and had
loved for so long. Perhaps | was too
| impatient and ought to- have remembered
that if | found my life dull hers was not
too gay; ought to have made allowance
| for the morbid nervousness and brooding
| fancies of a woman left alone for the
whole day; but was younger then than
| am now, and the thing ended by our
having our first grave quarrel, wherein
we were both silly, both unjust, and
neither of us would give way
The bad blood made between us to-
night grew worse as time went on; and
| the circle we were in was vicious one.
kept away more and more from home
because my wife made it too miserable
for me by her cofdness, her tears, her
complaints, her ilLhumor; and the more
| kept away the more she resented 1t.
| She took an almost insane hatred and
suspicion of my friends and my actions,
and did not scruple to accuse me and
them of vices and crimes because / was
| often late, from no worse cause than
PLAYING pool and billiards. Her re-
proaches first wearied and then hardened
me and by degrees kind Of fierce feeling
took possession of me a kind OF revenge
frl determination that would be what she
imagined me to be, and give her cause to
denOunce me as she did.
Harmless amusement became amuse-
ment not so harmless, petty little stakes
of haif-a crown and shilling grew to
gold: the glass of beer became the glass
of brandy-and more than one and the
facilts descensus had one more self-dlrect-
"a. Ii. AfkFt