Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-04-14

piled with wood, ana the greater
part of the time she has been OBJ
lliged to depend upon her own
dizziness with the axe, and any one
who has seen a woman handle an
axe. knows what dreadful thing
| it is. Two months ago she begged
of him not to so away without
leaving her some kindlings. He
said he wouldn't. But finally be
did. Then she hit upon a plan.
She had four dozen clothes pins.
She took one dozen Of them for
starting the fire, and found that
they worked admirably. The next
day she used another dozen, and
so she continued until the four
dozen were gone. Then she went
to the store and purchased another
four dozen-having them ''put in
the BILL When they were gone
she repeated the errand. She said
no more to him about kindlings.
For ten years she had kept up the
battle, and now she was tired and
sick at heart. He could so his
own way, and she would so hers
patiently. uncomplainingly-u
the end would come.
On Monday he signified at the
store that he would like to settle
his account. The bill was made
out and handed him. He glanced
down the items. AS he advanced
along the columns his face began
to work. First his eyes slowly en-
larged, then his mouth gradually
opened, caused by the dropping OF
his lower jaw and wrinkles formed
on his forehead. One third down
the column be formed his lips as
If to whistle. -Four lines below he
did whistle. Half way down he
said.
"Gra-cious :"
A little further on he said:
THUNDER -
-Four more lines were taken in,
aud he spoke again:
"By the Jumping Jupiter
Then he read on, shifting his
thigh vigorously, and giving vent
to various expressions of the live
Hest nature. Finally he threw the
bill down.
Il say, Benson, look here; this
bill can't be mine; you've got me
mixed up with some laundry"
That's your bill, sir" said the
grocer, smiling pleasantly.
81 tell'you it can't be-" persisted
the Division street man, beginning
to look scared. "Why, here's fifty
five dozen clothes pins in a two
months bill. What on earth do
you take me fora four-story
laundry e.
"But it is your bill. Your wife
can explain it to you. She order
ed the pins"
"My wifo!" gasped the unfortu-
nate man.
"Yes, sir"
The debtor clutched the bill,
jammed it into his pocket, and
hurried home. He bolted into the
house without any abatement Of
speed, and finging the paper on
the table before his wife, knocked
his hat on the back of his head,
and said:
"Martha Aun Johnson, what
does this meant There are fifty
five dozen clothes pins in Benson's
bill for the past two months, and
he says you ordered every blessed
one Of them"
"And so did," said she demurely.
"W-h-at Fifty-flve dozen clothes
pins in two months :" and he shot
down into a chair as if a freight car
had fallen atop him. "Fifiy-five
dozen clothes pins in two months, y
he howled. "Will a just heaven
stand that!"
81 tell you, you needn't stare al
me that way, Reuben Wheeler
Johnson, nor go calling unto hea.
ven with your impiousness. l or
dered them clothes pins myself
and l have burnt every one of ZEN
in that there stove, just because
you were too ALFRED lazy to get Q
stick of wood. And / declare, be
fore I'll be bothered jawing anC
fighting to get you to cut wood, II
burn up every clothes pin in tn,
, land, and you shall pay for them
ifyou have to sell the shirt on you
back to do it. So now -
Al H.. A.. InL-... lii