davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13
Odd Pleas.
From All the Year Round.


Brongham, defending rogue charged
with stealing pair of boots, unable to
gainsay his clients guilt, demurred to
hts Oe----.~tie.4 pec~.,sa the articles ap-
propriated were half boots, ana half
boots were no more boots than half a
guinea was guinea, or half loaf a
whole one. The objection was overruled
by Lord Estgrove, who, with beftting
solemnity, said: 81 am of the opinion
that boots is ,aonas1a generate compre-
hending half boot; the distinction is
between half boot and half boot;
the moon is always the moon although
sometimes she is a half MOON" Had
Brougham proved the BOOB to be old
ones, his man would probably have
come of as trimphantly as G tramp tried
at Warwick for stealing four live fowls.
The fowls had been Gifted" in Stat
fordshire, still the indictment was de-
clared good, it being held that man
committed felony in every town
through which he carried the stolen
property; but when it came out in EVIL
dence that the fowls were dead when
the thief was taken, he was at once set
free, on the grounds that he could not
be charged with stealing four live fowls
in Warwickshire.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13
CaIifornia's Centennial Grapevine.

From the Stanta Barbara (Ca.) Press.
The big grapevine which is to be ex-
hibited at the Philadelphia Exhibition
has, after several weeks of labor been
dug up, divided into sections, and box.
ed tor transportation. This famous
vine is without doubt TIE largest in the
world. The celebrated vine at Hamp-
ton Court, England, which grew under
glass, is nine inches in diameter at
three feet from the ground. This vine
is fourteen inches in diameter three
feet from the ground, and nearer the
ground has a measurement of eighteen
inches in diameter Or ffty-si inches in
circumference, while its foliage has
long covered space equal to ten thous-
and square feet. The Hampton grape
vine produces annually from 1900 to
1000 pounds Of grapes. The product
Of this vine has often reached the inn
mense number of 800 clusters, of an
average weight of Il pounds, or nearly
$4,000 pounds. It is of the variety
planted by Dona Maria Marcelina de
Dominguez, at the birth of a child, &C
cording to the customs of the country.
Its age is between fifty and sixty years.
There still remains in the same neigh
borhood another vine which outranks
the Hampton Court vine, being now
sixteen years old and sixteen inches in
diameter three feet from the ground,
and making growth at the rate of an
inch in diameter annually. Last year
it furnished 5000 to 10000 pounds OF
grapes, which were plucked and eaten
bv visitors from August 15 TO Jenunry
O6
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13
Public Libraries of the United States.

There are lie the United States more
than seventy public libraries which con-
tain over $4,000 volumes each. Of
these nine possess more than 10000
volumes, seven more than $4,000. The
largest collection is. the Congress Lii
brary, which has 261, 900 volumes. The
Public Library of Boston contains near
~ the same number, and increases at
the rate of $1,000 volumes a year.
Harvard College has 200, 900; the Astor
and the Mercantile and the Library
Company of Philadelphia, los, 600 and
1O1, 000 respectively; the Athenmum of
Boston, 103, 900; and Yale College 1OO,-
600. The New York State Library,
at Albany, has 67,5O0 volumes,
not including the Law Library,
which has rs, 500. The Society Library
of New York possesses 81, 600 volumes;
the Public, of Cincinnati, $4,000; the
Peabody Institute, of Baltimore, S.
900; the Antiquarian Society, of Wor-
cester 81, 900; and the Apprentices of
New York and Dartmouth College,
$4,000 each. Those which contain
more than 35, 900 are as follows: The
Mercantile of Brooklyn, Watkinson of
Hartford. Mercantile of ST. Louis, Cor
nell University, Historical Society of
New York, State of Maryland, State of
Michigan, Public of Chicago, State of
of Ohio, Mercantile of San Francisco,
Surgeon Generals Office at Washington,
University of Virginia, City of Spring
field, State Of Massachusetts,, Public
School of st. Louis, Bowdoln College,
and Mercantile Of Cincinnati.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13
Food for Lean Women.

If.any one wishes to grow feshy, a
pint of milk taken at night before re-
firing will cover, the scrawniest
bones. Although nowadays we see a
great many feshy females, yet there are
many lean anG lank ones who sigh for
the fashionable measure of plumpness.
and who would be vastly improved in
health and appearance could their figure
be rounded with good solid flesh. Moth
ing is more coveted by thin women than
a full figure, and nothing else will so
rouse the ire and provoke the scandal
of the "clipper builds . as the con-
seriousness of plumpness in rival. In
cases of fever and summer complaint
milk is now given with excellent results.
The idea that milk is feverish has ex-
ploded, and it is now the physicie2's
great reliance in bringing through ty-
phoid patients, or those in too low q
state to be nourished by solid food. II
is great mistake to scrimp the milk
pitcher.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13

thrown for moment on her beam
ends; she righted, however, Immediate
ly, but it was only to be driven at the
mercy of fierce gale that now rose, we
knew not whittier. The compass was
thrown overheard by the shock when
the squat struck us; and, utterly ignor-
ant of the course in which we we're fly
ing with fearful velocity, we could only
wait and pray for morning. just as the
gray dawn broke above the horizon,
the schooner struck, and before
we had time to think of getting out a
boat, we were oil in the water. A huge
wave carried me high and dry upon a
rock, and I crawled out of reach OF itH
return. The captain and two Of the
men were thrown up near me: the other
man and the cook were not seen again.
The schooner, with all our new found
wealth on board, was dashed to pieces
before our eyes; and all That remained
for us was to seek some friendly aid to
enable us to reach those who knew us.
A days tramp through swamps and
forests brought us to plantation,
where we obtained food and rest;
thence we returned to the locality
where we had obtained our cedar,
which proved to be some fifty miles
distant, and on foot, weary and impov-
erished, had to beg our passage from
the first vessel that sailed for New York.
Thus ended the cruise among the
Florida Keys, and to this day we have
never before alluded to the story. Acct
dentally coming across the old parch-
ment, which had about me when the
schooner struck, and which stuck to me
ever since, reminded me of Latitte's
T,aDacv
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13
Sayings of DIR. Johnson.

Getting money is not all mans
business; to cultivate kindness is a
valuable part of the business of life.
A man has no more right to say an
uncivil thing than to act one--no more
right to say rude thing to another
than to knock him down..
Human moments are stolen away by
thousand petty impediments which
leave no trace behind them.
As man advances in life he gets
what is better than admiration-judg
ment to estimate things at their true
value.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13
There Comes a Time.

There Comes Time.
BY COL. CLAUDE DE HAVEN.
There comes q time when we grow old,
And like sunset down the sea,
Slope gradual and the night wind cold
Comes whispering sad and chilling.
And locks are gray
AS Winters day,
And eyes of saddest blue behold
The leaves all weary drift away,
And lips Of faded coral say,
There comes time when We grow old
There comes a time when joyous hearts,
Which leapei as leaped the laughing main,
Are dead to all save memory,
As prisoners in the dungeon chain.
And dawn of day
Hath passed away.
The moon hath into darkness rolled;
And by the morning wan and gray,
hear a voice in whisper say,
There comes time when we grow old.
There comes a time when manhoods prime
Is shrouded in the mist of years,
And beauty, fading like dream,
Hath passed away in silent tears;
And then how dark
But oh! the spark
That kindles youth to hues of gold,
Still burns with clear and steady ray,
And fond affections lingering, say,
There comes time when we grow old.
There comes time when laughing Spring
And golden Summer cease to be,
And we put on the Autumn robe
70 tread the last declivity;
But now the slope
With rosy hope,
Beyond the sunset we behold
Another dawn with fairer light,
While watchers whisper through the night.
There comes time when we grow old.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13
An Agricultural Joke.

A very genteel-appearing young man,
wearing kid gloves, and carrying 1.-the
and flexible walking stick, thought he
would have joke with a rusty and
venerable old farmer at the Fair
Grounds, last Tuesday afternoon.
Halloo," said the dandy, "are you
one of the judges on hogs?'
WAL, yaas, walk right up and let
me look at you," said the old farmer.
That youth was soon lost amid the
crowd, and no other Judge on swine
saw him. HOoqss0ckct Patriot.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13
The Seeking River.
BY HIRAM RICH

BY HIRAM RICH.
From my door the river Winds
In and out among the creeks.
Looking, and what'er it finds
Never finding what it seeks.
For anon it turns again
Toward the sea that drinks il n
Where the daring fishermen
Daily bresa would daily win.
Day by day snd year by year.
Come and go the sea a. wind:
l am like the river here.
Seeking what I never Ind.
In October Atlantic
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13

WHEN you are an anvil bear, when
YOU are q hammer strike,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13
Odds and Ends.

Love makes labor light.
SUPPORT HOME INsT1rur1oNs-Sa
port your families.
TIE proudest people are invariably
thore who have the least to be proud of.
WHAT they want in Ohio is meaner
money and more of it.
WE must have love toward ell. but
familiarity with all is not expedient.
Rum joke The Centennial of the
battle of Brandywine will be celebrated
with spirit.
"THE only way to look at lady's
faults. exclaimed a supergalIant. Sis.
to shut your eyes,"
THE fossil remains Of a camel have
been found in New Mexico. which
proves the antiquity of the circus show.
PULL BACK pants have only one leg.
They are worn by ladies, and are called
clinging skirts.
GERRTrr SMITHS daughter. who is
saidi to be practical housewife. has
written book called Gin the Kitchen
Ex-PRIME MINISTER GLADSTONE chops
down tree before making speech,
and takes chop and ale after.
QUILp says he likes to see the women
stand up for their rights, especially
when seats are scarce in a street-car.
The grand essentials to happiness are
something to do, something to love,
and something to hope for.
"How odd it is," said Pat, as he
trudged along on foot, one sultry day,
"that man never meets a cart going
the same way that he is. !"
SHERIDAN gives the following humor-
cur definition:
g Irishman-A machine for convert
ing potatoes into human nature.
GA FIRE discovered i'll the Nick of
Tine, says the Troy Times. That's
bad place for confagration to break
out.
CURRAN was once asked by one of his
brother judges: Do you see anything
ridiculous in this wig ?'' Nothing
but the he'd, was the reply.
A CORRESPONDENT of paper having
described the Ohio as 'tsick1y stream"
the editor appended the remark, 'sThat
is so; it is confined to its bed"
D. .. MILLS, the new President Of
the Bank of California, started in life
by vending soap. Afterwards he be-
came interested in the Wasboe mines.
The only way some people can keep
their names untarnished is to make
Bridget spend half her time securing
the door-plate.
.YoUR noblest natures are most cred
ulous.'
"Thc bright black eye, the melting blue,
I cannot choose between the two.
A WHIMSICAL comparison being made
between clock aud WOMAN, Charles
Fox observed that he thought the simile
bad; For" said he ga clock serves to
point out the hours, and a woman to
make us forget them"
I'LL bet you 800 he isn't" was the
embarrassing response, from the back
of the hall, which the chairman of
political meeting in Oregon received
the other night upon introducing
speaker as the next representative Of
the state in Congress.
IT may be that an Italian invented
the wheel-barrow, but this is the coun-
try where social standing of the vehicle
was lifted up.-Detroit Free Press.
We should not be ashamed to admit
that the wheel-barrow is foreign idea
Other countries will always borrow Of
us and wheel barrow of them Chicago
Times.
YET HUNG, Chinaman. recently died.
in this city, and his death notice was
accompanied by these lines:
Thlow way hum la'ge f1at-ilon,
Mash him tub an bleak him pan,
Him got tough him washee us'ness,
Alice same dead Chinaman
Gomez fin ont How 'lonesida loss
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13

Forty years ago So. OOo, 900 cigars
sumption demands 7A2, DOC, 900.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13

WEDNESDAY, OCT. 13, 1876.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-13

GOnee Tin out How, lOngslde oss
San Francisco Post.
MAN gains wider dominion by his in
tellect than by his right arm. The mus
tard seed of thought is o pregnant trea-
sury of vast results. Like the germ in
the Egyptian tombs, It's vitality never
perishes: and It's fruit will spring up
after it has been buried for long ages. =.
Chaplin.
THERE was French singer, with G
tremendous voice, who could not dis
cover what line in art he was best fitted
for. He went to Cherubini, who told
him to sing. He sang. and the founda-
ton trembled, "Well," he said, when
he had finished, illustrious master,
what shall I become ?" 'sAn auc-
tioneer," said Cherubini.
A LADY in Paris is introducing new
fashion in regard to furniture. She is
having all her chairs, sofas, and even
her carriages, stuffed with aromatic
herbs, which fill the air with an agreea-
| BILE, but not too powerful perfume. The
fashion is derived from the Eastern ma
tons, and prevails extensively over a
considerable part OF Asia.
! Two French peasants, relates NJ.
| Theirs were supping ON a bench,
"What does veto mean?" asked one.
"You see this basin of soup?'' an
swercd the other. sI have had the
trouble of preparing and cooking it:
well, the king comessto me and says
Now, then, throw that soup on the
ground;' and I must do it. That's what
veto means.
A CURIOUS statement has been made
and published in French paper IN re-
gard to hens. It reckons the number OF
hens In France at 1000, 900, valued at
$40. 100000. OF these about one-hfth
are killed annually for the market.
There is an annual net production OF
| $4,000, 900 chickens, which in market
yield $24, 900, 900. The extra value to
be added for capons, fattenea hens, and
the like, is put at $5. 600, 900. The pro-
duction of eggs is valued at $4S, 600, GOO:
In all, it is reckoned, that the value OF
hens, chickens and eggs sold IN the
markets Of France, is $50, 600, 900.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-09
The Value of the MOsquitO.

People who voluntarily frequent the
haunts of the sanguinary mosquito are
not wont to welcome his tiny note OF warm
ing, nor the admonition of his pointed and
tubular proboscis. We are confident,
therefore, that the scientific conclusions
reached by DR.. Samuel w. Francis will
be welcomed by all who contemplate pass
ing the summer months in the mosquito
bearing districts. The doctor declares it
to be lis firm conviction that genus cpler
was created for the purpose OF. driving
man out of the malarial districts. Since,
however, man is thick headed, and often
won't 90 when he Is driven, Providence
has commissioned the mosquito first to
punish him for coming, and then to APP
ply prophylactic in view of the malaria
he must of necessity inhale. That is to
say, she (for it is only the female mosqui-
TO that bites) hypodermically injects into
the wound a fluid which possesses the
properties of quinine. Let us not too
closely examine the correctness Of the doc
tors conclusions. Rather let us, as the
season advances, drop off into dreamland
in the serene consciousness that the song
which lulls us to sleep merely announces
, the presence of physician who furnishes
his own medicines, makes up his own
prescriptions and carries hi. bill away
with him - (Hy,yf;rJl Union
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-09
Richard is himself againl"
Freaks ola Georgia Cyclone.
ATLANTA Herald.1

Colonel Parker Brown, a well>known
citizen of Henry county, came to town and
related further incidents OF the great cy-
clone of last Saturday. He states that
Colonel Matthew johnson, an old citizen
of Henry, tells him that when he first
noticed or heard the rumbling noise, he
saw body apparently about the size of a
fodder stack and pretty much the same
shape, or more like funnel, which came
twisting and turning like the spinning of a
top, and Utterly wrung great trees off at a
uniform length from the ground, like a
lawn mower. He noticed all through the
air smaller bodies the same shape, which
appeared to be drawn to the larger one,
and as they would come in contact with the
larger or parent funnel, the noise produced
resembled the sharp crack produced by
Shaping a board on body of water.
Thus, as these smaller Satellites" were
gathered to the large one, it grew larger
as it advanced. Mr.. Dick Hightower,
who lost one eye in the war, was severely
hurt, a piece of scantling striking him on
the other eye, which, it is feared, will de-
stroy the sight. Mr.. Hightower was
lifted up and thrown forty yards against
a barn, The chimney to his two-story
house was lifted up and pitched top fore
most into the well, completely filling it
up. The houses on his place were lifted
from the stills and turned completely
around. 1t was noticeable that all the
houses were carried off down to the first
floor, as smoothly as if knife had been
passed through it. Sixteen families living
eight miles above McDonough, were left
without shelter. A meeting of citizens
at McDonough yesterday, authorized the
Judge to draw $1,000 from the county
treasury and apply it to the needy, and a
committee was appointed to look after
them. A piece OF plank three inches thick
was blown halfa mile, striking a fence
rail going through as nicely as if it haC
been done with a mallet and 'cbisel
Other most remarkable incidents are re-
lated, which time prevents noticing.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-09
A BOi; on the Nose.

1t n little thing, but it is a source Of
untold misery to the unlucky proprietor
We suppose you have had one? AL
most everybody has.
You feel 1t coming long before it really
puts in decided appearance. Your nose
feels tight and straight, and it aches in
little, needle-like pains, and you are pain
fully conscious of the fact that you are
the possessor Of a nose.
Whenever, for any cause, you begin to
be more conscious of owning one organ
of the body than another, then be assured
there is disease there. A person in per-
feet health knows no ears. no eyes, no
limbs, no feet-they are all concentrated
in one comfortable feeling that he is sound
in every part.
As your nose grows worse you begin to
consult hand-mrror, and set it up
against the window for a better light.
Your nose is like painting-it requires
a full head of light; and indeed it looks as
lift had not only been painted, but var
nished.
Hourly it loses its fair proportions, and
assumes no particular shape. 1t twists
first to one side, and then to the other;
and it bulges out like broken umbrella,
and the space under your eye is pulled
and baggy, and the eye itself shows signs
Of going under.
Your wife wants to go to a ball or an
opera about that time, but You are too
much dis6gured to venture. and she is
sulky in consequence, and spitefully say 8
she wishes she had married a man who
wasn't everlastingly having boils. And
she adds that she might as we'll have
been Mrs. Job. and done with it.
Your small children eye you curiously
and tell you confdentially that your
nose looks just like old Blazo's when he's
tight; and they embrace the first oppor-
tunity of asking their mother "if she
thinks father drinks"
Everybody you meet asks you if you
have been fighting. People in the street.
cars stare at you and whisper about
smallpox, and move farther off.
School girls giggle when they meet you,
and from small boys you get saluted in
this wise:
"Say. nosel where are you going with
that mani"
How earnestly you watch the rising
and swelling of your tormentorl No cul-
turist of roses ever watched the unfolding
of some new and rare variety of rosebud
with any more solicitude.
How long it is coming to head
Everybody laughs at your uneasiness
and tells you to be patient.
How slow the time is in passingl Will
it never be next week? Why doesn't the
abomination break? Will it leave a scari
What did make it come? viii there be
more of them?
Why didn't you appreciate your felicity
when you hadn't any boil?
At last, after you have completely given
out and have become resigned to per.
petual boil on your nose, the swelling
suddenly collapses, the "core" comes out
and
Orchard is himself again.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-09

A pallid and excited individual dashed
into a saloon the other morning. and in
an agitated voice gasped the following:
"a glass of liquor quick2 A man has
fallen outside and cut his head shocking
ly?" The bartender promptly turned out
the liquor into a tumbler. which the
stranger clutched nervously and mptied
at once Theo he drew his hand across
his eyes, sighed heavily, looked into the
face of the amazed dealer. and apologetic-
ally said: THE sight of blood alters
did make me sick?' And then he walked
away, leaving the bartender staring at
the door.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-09
Published by request.
IT'S awful. AWFUL. AWFUL!

1. Death is a melancholy call,
A certain Judgment for us all.
Death takes the young as well as old,
He takes them in his arms so cold
IT'S awful, awful, awful
.. saw youth, the other day,
Just in his prime, he looked so gay,
He trifed all his time away
And dropped into eternity
'Tis awful, awful, awful
3. As be lay on his dying bed,
Eternity he began to dread,
He says, 40 Lord / see my state,
But now fear il is too late!"-
IT'S awful, awful, awful
4. Hi, parents both a standing round,
With tears a dropping to the ground,
He Gays, 80 father, pray for me.
For I'm bound for eternity!"-
IT'S awful, awful, awful!
5. His brothers and sisters a standing by,
A saying, "Dear brother, you're a going
to die,
Your days are spent, your pleasure is past,
And you must 60 to your grave at lastl''-
IT'S awful, awful, awful
6. A few more breaths may be perceived
Before the young man shall take the leave
Father and mother, fareyouwell,
I'm dragged by devils down to hell!''-
Ills awful, awful, awful
z. His corpse was laid beneath the ground,
With his brothers and sisters a weeping
round,
With aching hearts and trembling minds,
To think their brother in hell confined
IT'S awful, awful, awful
s. Think, young friends, on what you hear,
And try yourselves to be prepared,
Or like this young man you must go
Down to the gates of endless wool
IT'S awful, awful, awful
Q. o Whist a solemn scene is this,
To witness such a dreadful easel
1t makes me shudder at the thought,
He has his own testimony wrought
IT'S awful, nwfIl, awful!
A. MADDOX, 1868.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-09

A Western editor appeals to his delin-
quent subscribers by saying: This week
we have taken potatoes and pickles on
subscription. Now, if you will bring in
some vinegar for the pickles and wood to
roast the potatoes, we can live till arti-
chokes get big enough to dig"