Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-03-05

\ colored preacher remarked; ''Wher
God made de fust man lie set him up agir
de fence to dry - - Who made de fence p
interrupted an eager listener. "Put dat
man out ~ exclaimed the colored preacher
"such questions asdst d destroy all de theol
ogy in de world"
One Of the reasons why fight frequently
occurs in Montana churches is that while
the preacher is praying, the congregation
sit on the backs of chairs and frequently
ejaculate-''T That's right, ole hoss - Bully
tor you -" Hes book sharp" etc
Sometimes the minister get rled, and there 5
where the disturbance comes in.-Nhrdukee
Nelcs
story for the times is that of the old
| Democrat who, noticing an advertisement
| OF the - Andes Insurance Company" re-
marked that he knew Andy would always
be at the head of something You can't keep
him down.
At dancing party in western Kentucky
the other night, to which several women
came with their babies, some Young men
changed the clothes of the infants while
their parents were dancing, and mixed them
up generally. The following day there was
great row, and as the families lived miles
apart, it took several days to unmix the
children.
\ chap was seen flying down the streets of
Gmnbury few days ago, his coat-tail stream
ing in the wind, and Justify yelling, Police
police y At his heels was n man with
hdSe bowle-kniie, lunging at him at d fear
tuI rate, As the pursuer would make pass
with the knife, the pursued would yell oct
Police The only policeman in the
town was the one with the bowe-knife The
chap had the police " nearer than he
wanted
IN incorruptible Legislator is Il being to
be tenderly regarded and mentioned with
awe. There are not So many OF them in these
days that even one should be permitted to
waste his sweetness unremarked. We are
enraptured to present to public admiration
Missouri gentleman whose constituents late
ly summoned him to his home on a certain
Saturday evening The Incorruptible shifted
goii-helded canes and ice-ptchcrs in the am
bient air Without one poor minutes hesi-
tatiOn he plunged into the telegraph Office
and sent the message iha; he'd rather not
come, because, as he observed, " under
stand that it IS the intention to make me
present Of something appreciative. am,
ne continued gently, - and always have been,
opposed to public displays to officials in the
way Of presents, addresses, etc. - AnG then
he burst into this noble and lofty expression.
worthy, alike of the man and the statesman
" If you have concluded 70 do anything of
tie kind, give it to my wife -
\ stylish Young man recently stopped at
an inn IN a small town in California. He
called Tor " the drinks for all about the
place several times, and waved his hand in
lortlv way 10 the innkeeper a. though to
say. This is mine" lie was 20 agreeable
that they all took quite liking TO him.
Next morning after breakfast, he was start
ing ,tf. when the host apolosetically re
marked, THAT little bill ""Oh bless your
soul, my friend. haven't got a cent said
the fellow Then why didn t you tell me
50 hclore?' said the host Nv ell, replied
the traveller, "lf you hadn't been 50 in
quisitivc | wouldn't have tod you now.
The point was well taken and the landlord
instci on wrapping up for him bottle Of his
bes; rs travelling companion.
There is an Artful Dodgcr in pari- whose .
operations have been 50 cley5r as 10 deserve /
notice lie i a middie-aged per- |
son Of an Iunocea; aspect, and MS pretty plan I
Is 10 meander slowly along, and seizing the .
first miId-eyed old gentleman he meets, to lisp /
an a child-likc manner " I0tty has lost his .
nanny take lofty back to nanny The /
ini ieyeI would naturally feel somewhat
confused and alarmed, when to him would
further appear confederate of Totty's. who
would remark in accents bland that T0tty
was q harinies, idiot, and if the stranger
wouil see Iotty home it would be real
clnsi;y. Fired by heneyoience the oll gen
t.enau would undertake to bear the soft,
sweet To;ty to his abode, and would trot
along IL, bouleyerds enong the toy shoI~.
which appeared 10 euchant Gotty. That ger
tie being would observe. " lotty wants har
.,quin buy Iotty harlequin ami his an
-ique warder would hasten to crafty that
mild longing. Before the ingenious Totty
reached bis home he was usually laden with
.he marketable result, of the kinl-hearied
I'D creatures beneyoencc, and did thriy-
* business unit. several beneiactors hap
1enel To compare notes, and To;ty's inno,eut
Industry WIS quenched