The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-01-08
EjRTEVyES

Mill privilege-Kissing a factory
girl.
An Alabama barrister mildly alluded
to his rival as a reservoir OF falsehood
and an aqueduct of mendaci5y."
A DETROIT servant-g girl has remained
in a family thirty-one years, rather than
incur the trouble and expense of raising
one for herself.
ADVICE to husbands-Settle as much
money upon your wife as you can, for
her second husband, poor fellow, may
not have a siXpence.
A LETrE was recently received at
WallingfOrd, Conn, directed to My
WI tue lsve," with tie box number,
and the girl received it.
"a HOME without children is Ike
Heaven witheu. angels" says Il deacon.
We just want him to get Gus of bed
four times q night for a month, to keep
the baby's legs covered up.
JOHN HENRY, whose first (and only
born has just been to a toy-shop, says
twas & tin trumpet that knocked the
stutfin out of the walls of Jericho, and
mighty good reason for it, too.
EMERSON WIGHT, the newly elected
Mayor of Springfield, Mass, has two
wooden legs, having last both of his
natural ones by a railroad accident
several years ago.
A ROMANTIC young lady, whose father
refused to rent an italian villa on the
banks of Lake Como as & summer
residence, has threatened to go West
and marry a California h~ighwayman.
THE miseries of life begin to Cypress
us as soon as We leave our cradles
Here's a Troy boy, for instance, asking
his mother. after a shad dinner. "where
did God find all the bones to make the
first shad Off"
A GALLANT wag was sitting beside his
beloved, and being unable to think of
anything to say, asked her why she was
like q tailor. 81 don't know" said
she, with a pouting lip, "unless it is
because lam sitting beside a goose"
"HAvE you Goldsmith's Greece?"
was asked of a clerk in q store in which
books and various miscellaneous articles
we're sold. "No," said the clerk, re-
flectively, Eve haven't Goldsmith's
Greece, but We have some splendid
hair OIL"
MILWAUKEE News: The best of
Christians occasionally have rags to
sell, and it grie7es us to state, also, that
the best of Christians will sometimes
roll an old fat-iron mp in a ragged shirt
and chuck it down i'll the bag Just to
give it ballast.
JULIA WARD HOWE informs us that
the financial Incompetence of men in
general is becoming every day more
evident to the world at large" IL is
especially evident in the morning, when
their wives have "gone through" their
pockets overnight.
"CoULD you," said a young lady
teacher, "after what [ have been read
ing to you, forgive your enemy? that is,
could you forgive another boy if he
struck you?' "Why, yes" said the
little rustic, doubling his fists, "if he
was a good deal bigger than me-"
"MoTHER," said a little urchin, when
he came home from church, 81 have
heard such a smart preacher. He
stamped and made such a noise, and
then he got mad F.; he shook his fists at
the folks, and there wasn't anybody
dared to go up and fight him.
HELEN NJ. Cooke writes that "kisses
on her brow are the richest diRdem a
woman's soul aspires to-" And yet a
young fellow who kisses a young lady
OF her brow while her rosy lips are
making motions like a patent clothes
wringer is not the man for the position.