The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1875-09-11

--~-~~..<~-~'~~s,s--s~.ss-~sf-ys.s-.s...
which q fl1laispldan ipf hiiod II
fnt hl4 nut ~ NJ
\ tea loot Secretary lIoboson q
The navy i4psptfied shortly nj Wasii
inNm, lln ufflg NnpH ~ nglnN Viaii
and don't moan IA b. muilnuus tm
flef journal,
Ienny iin1 finds consolation In ~,
fact that notwithstanding the l0Hs III
her voice, slie ran make lust ~ gOOt
bread ~ ever Ter genuine successes
we're always In the Fast.
A Dubuque youth, belng frequently
subjected 10 pnternnl tannlnga, applied
tannin "a the buse ~ attack, aud nov
derldes all attempts 10 chnsil-e him
with the moist sliinglc.
Admiral Tom Thumb, IN London, II
six Inches shorter than our General
Tom Thumb, II tblrty,six years old,
weighs twenty.siX pounds, IL II Ilolan-
der, aud speaks five languages.
a married man bought spring chick
On In the market the other morning,
and now he thinks the reason IL was cal
led spring chicken Is because II will take
him until next spring to carve 1t, unless
he uses nitro-glycerine.
A father fearing an earthquake In
the region Of his home, sent his two
boys Ia distant friends until the peril
should be over. A few weeks after the
father received this letter from his
friend: "Please take your boys home
and send down the earthquake"
Loin of Veal: This IL best larded.
Have every Joint thoroughly cut, and
between each lay slice of salt pork
roast u fine brown, and so that the up
per side OF the pork will be crisp; haste
often. Season with pepper; the pork
will make 1t sufficiently salt.
Baked Mutton Chops: Put each chop
into n piece OF paper with pepper and
salt, and seasoning of such herbs rs are
agreeable. Add IA little butter; put each
into another piece of paper before ba-
king. When done sufficiently in
quick oven, serve, having the outer pu-
per removed, the first paper being left
In order to retain the heat and gravy.
A precocious boy was asked which
was the greater evil of the two, hurting
another's feelings, or his finger? He
said the former. "Right, my dear
child" said the gratiiicd questioner.
"And why is 1t worse to hurt the feel
ings"" '!Because you can't tie n rag
around them," explained the dear
child.
A woman walked into n house at
Rutland the other day where two red
flags were displayed, and sitting down
asked when IL would commence.
what commence" THE auction, of
course When told that the flags
meant smallpox, and not auction, she
tnrned all the cOlors of the rainbow and
disappeared as though the Deputy
sheriff was after her.
Economical Fritters: Save all you
bits of bread and soak them in cold
water and mash fine; add little nut
meg, three or four large spoOnsful Of
sugar, part of n teaspoonflIl ofsaleratus,
dissolved in two large Tablespoonful of
milk, little salt, and stir into this
flour enough to hold up n spoon. Drop
little from the end of spoon into hot
fat, and fry. After one trial nc bits of
bread will be wasted.
An old-fashioned clergyman named
More, was riding ON horseback one
stormy day, enveloped in a loose cloak
of large proportions and having u
broad, scarlet collar. BY the action of
the wind, the cloak was tossing about
I'm all directions, when gentleman
rode up on II spirited horse, which |
SHE'D and almost threw the rider. |
''rhat cloak would brighten the devil"
said the gentleman. "YOu don't say
so !" replied Mr.. More; "why, that's
just my trade"
A boy of five years old was "playing
railroad" with his sister of two and II
half Drawing herupon II footsool, he
imagined himself both the engine and
conductor. After initiating the puff
ing noise of the steam, lie stopped and
called out "New York." and in mo-
ment after, Patterson" and then
"Philadelphia." His knowledge of
towns was now exhausted, and the next
place, he cried 'Heaven." His little
sister said eagerly: 'Top, DIES pll
Diet out here"
A farmer on the road between Char
itnn and Worcestor, Mass, having
been terribly annoyed by drummers,
put up sign; "No sewing machines
wanted here. Got one" 1t was no
use; the next drummer wanted to see
the machine, "and perhaps he'd hitch
up trade" So the farmer put up:
"Got the smallpox here" That work
ed very well for little WHILE tut then
came alonga drummer frightfully pit
ted with the smallpox, who suddenly
said: "Seein' you've got it bad here
they put me on this route"