The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-09-21
The Gravestone Man.

-. G. w." furnishes the following
amusing sketch to the free Press
The man Of the house was sick unto
death The fact was noised about A
portIy gentleman was announced as desi.
rous Of pu interview with tho dying vet.
eran. lie Insurance agent ? Tell HIM
il is too late. cau't pass the requisite
examination No, no is not that. Fire
insurance 2 My policy has not expired
Wants to sell me new mower 2 Don't
wan't it. I'm satisfied with the ono |
have. Desires to settle with me That
can't be, don't owe dollar in the world.
Wants to pay mo an old debt ? Poor
thing, let him 60. The sick man had
failed, thus far, to guess the character of
bis would be visitor. Does be look like a
clergyman Don't know, ministers look
like other people oow.a.days-the seuSi.
bio ones at least Like doctor 2 He
says he must see you, and have au inter-
view, as he is in haste 10 visit another
"house OF mourning"
The burly, gloomy yisaged stranger
camc in noiselesa and solemn, aud took a
seat near the bed, while the vito retired.
II hope tho sad rumor that you arc
laboring under tho power OF a fatal dis.
ease, ia not true We cannot spare you,
Sir"
Not much encouraged by tho stranger s
sympathy. the sick man fecbly replied
ut will be of no use to recommend to me
new medicine. have tried everything
that has cured anybody else, and have
concluded to put myself in the hands OIL
my physician, and let him do what he
will"
pardon me. sir, l do not desire to
interfere with your doctor. My duty be-
gins when he retires. Perhaps you may
be anxious to make all neediul prepara
tions for an event, which though SO un'
welcome, must cone to us ALL"
my peace is made with all men, and
il you have any new tangled theory O.
salvation treally, you must excuse mo, sir
| am too feeble to-"
"Oh, no. my friend, am not so i'm
pertinent as that. 1t is with this worlC
my mission has to do, and thought, al
| happened to bo passing your boautiiu
dwelling, that soon may become
SO lonely that you might wish to hav,
something to say az to what kind Of {
monument you would have adorn tht
place OF your final repose' | am
dealer ipe gravestoDes, sir, and | like t.
consult my customers. while they linge
upon the shores o. time, it is so pleasan
to have those who are gene, and the sur
vivors, blended together in this last sa'
tribute to departed worth. Besides, sir
it is very unpleasant, indeed, positively
painful to the afflicted, to have the cur
rent of their grief disturbed by the in
trusion of stern gentlemen Of our profes
sion, after the sad ceremonies of buria
are closed. Please look at these elegan
designs"
The sick man was getting red in tn,
face during tho delivery of this speech
and his voice seemed to be endowed witt
the strength OF returning health, as h
screamed to his wife, "Bctsey--hurry-
Introduce Bose to this gentleman.
At the mention Of that familiar nam
the stranger started to retire, withou
even a parting bow.
Bose, whose eyes could hardly holt
on TO the swelling tesrf %hs lis eG fsXS
arose hastily from his corner. and follow
ed the retiring form. increasing his vel
ocity with tho acceleration of the strang
ers speed, terminating the interview b
seizing that portion of the latter's pant
upon which he had been sitting, as til
closing gate parted them. Before Bos
could disepgagc the broadcloth from hi
teeth tho gravestouo man was in his bug
gy.
lie was considerate. and did not cal
again until "all was over" and tho iamil
found him waiting, as they returned fror
the funeral.