The anti-monopolist., 1875-09-06

thought that you were like myself-on
the fences.n
I felt ANNOYED at this remark which
Justly considered - an insinuation
against my loyalty to the great party Of
progress (these are all terms got out
of the papers for the address delivered
in our school house last 4th Of July.)
More annoyed still that SO insignificant
creature could anger me, and was
consequently glad that his alIusion to
the Dispatch gave me an opportunity OF
retaliating.
"By the way,"I said, ''there is some
interesting though, perhaps, not very
agreeable news tor you in this paper
"Ah, yes,n, he replied, 1.-The Dispatch is
live paper. Well, what is the news?"
The Governor has appointed com.
mission to enquire into the origin and
habits of the grasshopper.
"For what purpose?'
lin order to bring about your complete
destruction" l replied with acrimony.
1.-The whole power of our State govern
ment will be brou hit to bear to put a
stop to your wholesale robbery of the
honest farmer"
Honest farmer" repeated the little
wretch. eff don't mistake Bill King
called upon you last fall and" "
Don't dare" l interrupted, as l
CROPPED around for stone. "Don't dare
repeat that slander which Hogpen set
afoat against me-
THAT is precisely what Hogpen says
of you," replied the audacious insect.
"All know is that just as was going
into winter quarters here, Bill King
called upon you both, that each of you
held his horses as he got into his carrige,
shook his hand warmly when he was
leaving. and that you both had new store
clothes on the following Sunday, at
church. Drop that stone or I'll be of
in the twlnkling of an eye, and you will
lose the opportunity you now have OF
getting an intelligent grasshopper's
views on political questions" )"
dropped the stone had picked up,
and the little fellow hopping down on a
lower rail, near me, continued: IL am
disappointed in Davis, 70 be fooling
about the habits and origin OF grasshop-
pers, when we have left the State alto
gether."
why" said l, show can you say so,
while perched there on my tence?"
Il speak of my people in general" he
answered. Il am he last OF my race in
Minnesota, and that little hole by The
post down there shall soon be my
grave.
Let no man write my epltaph-'
But enough of this weakness"
"It is good news, at all events, said l.,
.that we are getting rid of such destruc-
tive pests"
why, you big BOBBY" he replied
"no one ever suppose that we were go
ing to remain permanently in this cold
climate But what about those other
pests that your stupidity actually engen-
ders and tosters2"
What pests?" asked.
ring worms answered the grass
hopper, with tiny chuckle. pardon
me, he continued, "but really believe
that Dave Blakeleys vicious habit OF
M king stupid puns must be infectuious.
Those ringworms, friend Corncob. not
alone devour your substance, but are
actually borning through the very foun-
dations on which your prosperity rests.
All, that was fine dash Davis made at
| them in his lecture on modern feudal
ISM"
why, how do you know anything
about that?n l asked. "You were no,
born then"
mo" he replied. "but my grandfath
er told me all about it. He was here at
the time in the capacity of grasshop-
per commissioner; sent on by our peO-
pie to examine into the agricultural re-
sources Of your youthful State. 1t was
on his report we immigrated to Mime
| sofa, aud as his descendant, | am proud
to say it was perfectly truthful. Your
spring wheat is all he reported it to be-
succulent and plentiful. No reaching
out for that stone if you please keep il
for the politicians when they come along
next month to fool you with hes
Let me tell you, You contemplate
insect" replied with natural warmth.
"no man can fool Sam Corncob."
Again heard the tiny laugh.
''Sam," said the aggravating little
wretch, .'lie there quietly on the broad
of your back-the natural position oil a
Western farmer who supports high tariff
| 1uA buO PuoASAu ~ AAAS
tell you some wholesome truth, promis-
ing ON the sacred honor OF a grasshop-
per There he raised his fore-foot and plac-
ed it gracefully on his breast, remind
ing me very much of our own graceful
Senator Window. when he pledged his
honor for the purity of Bill kingl; thai
my remarks are not intended as oerso
nal
"Go on said l, when / hsd recovered
from the fit of laughter the creature hat
thrown me into; nothing that q grass
hopper can say will offend me-
sVery well" said he Then let ms
tell you plainly but respectfully. San
Coracob. you are big tool.'
| Not much, old boy" replied, laugh
ing. You mistake ME for my neighbo1
Hogpen. who is. without doubt. the big
gest fool in these parts"
"You and Hogpen are In the same
boat. Sam,n he replied.
All you western farmers are in th'
same boat, with common interests ol
board. a common harbor-the harbor o