Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-04-02
CURRENT ITEMS.

vet, but it is almost getting time for bon
net bills.
Bur for sweet faces, sweet smiles and
sweet songs, there would be no heaven
on earth.
IT comports with the eternal fitness of
things that drunkard should speak In
gutteral tones.
TT appears on the authority of the sta
tisticians that one of woman's rights is to
live longer than man.
A BABY with twenty eight toes has
been born in Stockton, Mo. What
character for corns he will be!
SHoEMAKERs complain that the times
are so hard they can scarcely keep sole
and upper together.
A TROY printer has five wives that the
officers know of, and they suspect The
existence of three or four more.
AN eccentric woman in New York has
established "a home for INDECENT cats"
where she feeds about eighty
ANOTHER way to dispense with ceme-
teries without cremation-Take all the
newly-invented pills and don't die.
Coop authority says that there are but
eighteen words in English which came to
us from the language of the ancient
Britons.
FROM all recent accounts of life in
Florida, the abbreviation Fla. would be
more significant with the insertion of the
vowel e.
AFTER Jan. 1, 1879, all obligations
payable in New York State in dollars
must be met with dollars-gold dollars
and nothing else.
"WHAT a shame that should be starv-
ingr exclaimed poor corset-maker out
of work-"I that have stayed the stom-
achs of hundreds"
IT is said Egypt is the home of the
fragrant onion. There is this about the
onion-you can always tell where it is
NeD York MGaI.
A LAW forbidding the payment of diff
ferent salaries in the public schools on
account of sex has just passed the Leg
islature of California.
AT funeral at Madison, Me-, lately,
the man who was buried was placed be-
side two of his dead wives, while two
living ones attended the funeral.
SOUTHAMPTON, Mass, has only three
cents in the treasury, but then the town
has no debt and the three cents is so
much ahead.
THREE HUNDRED years have passed
since Lucrezia Borgia lived, and now
they are trying to make her out kind
and gentle woman, a sort OF third class
angel.
A LAZY school boy who spelled Andrew
Jackson "&ru Jaxon' has been equaled
by q student who marked the first OF
III, { ri, TAI m
the rest "do."
Do LEWIS says that a man could live
ten years on raw apples, but after the
seventh or eighth year it is believed that
the patient would want rutabaga or a
Hubbard squash to break IN on the
monotony.
"No. SIR" said q weary-looking man
on street-car to an Individual by his
side, 81 wouldn't marry the best woman
alive. I've been dry goods clerk too
long for that"
THE parents of young lady hired her
to take cod liver oil, giving her 81.
Lizzie-for that was her name-con-
tributed the money thus obtained to the
grasshopper sufferers. Ii she don't get.a
long mark on the credit side we are mis-
taken.-I0led0 Blade.
"WHAT becomes of all the pins?"-EG.
IF the writer of that will move around
the house in his stocking feet after day
of dressmaking he will get more real
valuable information on the subject than
all the books in the world can give him.
DURING the last four years and a half
Gaul has averaged one and one-third Cabl-
net Ministers per month-total, 66. The
average is on the increase, moreover.
j" Too many cooks spoil the broth, says
the proverb; and the real trouble with
France is that she has always had too
many. People should eat to live, not
live to eat.
A New YORKER visiting this city re-
marks that the philosophic thought of
Boston is common even among the street
car conductors. He instances the con-
ductor, who, on ringing the bell, the
other evening, at dark side street and
being rewarded for stopping his car by
presently seeing a fat woman struggle
up out Of the impenetrable night, re
marked as he started the car again: i,
had an intuitive perception that she was
coming out there" ."-B0st0n Transcript.
A STORY is told of one Busby and Mrs.
Busby, of Trenton, n. j., celebrating their
iron wedding. They made a feast and
invited one hundred and twenty guests.
The first three or four guests that arrived
all brought fat-irons. The coincidence
was laughable, and all laughed. But
when the next eight or ten brought flat
irons and looked jolly over them Mrs.
Busby grew sick of the ironing business,
and Busby got mad. He began to scent
a preconcerted ironical joke, and his
bosom was ruff1ed by the irony OF his
best friends Long before the next hun
dred guests had come, all Juggling Hat
irons. Mrs. Busby was laid out on sofa,
and Busby had gone to bed drunk. Ihe
only variations IN the present were, one
friend brought fat-1ron holder, and
another, from Philadelphia, contributed
a cow-bell. Busby's suspicious were IN
correct. 1t was no trick at all, except OF
universal human nature. The whole
proceeding was natural. The fact was
that Trenton had large overstock OF
fiat-irons and sold them at seductlVely
low rates-alsnost gave them away,
Everybody had to do something ana
everybody invested in fiat-irons because
they were dirt cheap. The proceeds OF
thai iron wedding were 213 flat-irons, one
holder and cow-bell Busby ana wife
nave resolved not to celebrate their Sill
yer wedding at all, at least not pupllciy.
st. Lessis Republican.
WHY the Cities Are OyercroWded.
. 1arJIx, a oitv in the limited