The Grange advance., 1875-12-15

SlgnerS OF the Declaration Of Independ.
ence. but now they did not really seem to
amount to much along with the signers OF
Niagara Fslls.
To tell the truth the multitude of signs
annoyed me. 1t was because l noticed
at last they were prohibiting the very
thing was just wanting to do.
desired to roll on the grass the
sign prohibited it. I lonsed to smoke; a
sign prohibited it. And was just in
the act Of throwing stone over to aston.
ish and pulverize such parties as might
be picnicking below, when sign have
just mentioned forbade that. Even that
satisfaction was denied me. and I was a
friendless orphan.
There was no resource now but to seek
consolation from the flowing bowl.
drew my flask from my pocket, but it
was all in vain. A sign confronted me,
which said:
mo drinking allowed on these prem.
ises.''
On that spot might have pcrished of
thirst but for the savage words of an hon.
ored maxim that fitted through nv
memory at that moment; ''All signs fail
|
cedsnce Of the statutes. I was saved.
The noble red man had always been a
darling Of mine. I loved to read about
him in tale and legends and romance.
l loved to read Of his inspired sagacity,
and of his love Of the wild, free life of
mountain and forest, and his grand truth
fulness; his hatred of treachery. and his
general nobility of character, and his
stately metaphorical speech, and his chi.
valric love for the dusky maiden, and
the picturesque pornp of his dress and &C.
coutrementS.
When l found the shops at Niagara
Falls full of dainty beadwork anu stun.
ming moccasins, and equally stunning toy
figures representing human beings who
carried their weapons in holes bored in
their arms and bodies shaped Ike pie, I
knew that now WAS going to come face
to face with the noble red man.
| A lady clerk in the shop told me, in.
deed, that all her grand array were made
by the Indians. and there were plenty
| about the Falls, and that they were
friendly, and that it would not be dan
gerous to speak to them.
l came upon camp of them gathered
in the shade of a great tree, making moe.
casins. and addressed them in the follow.
ing language of friendship:
'Noble Red-men, Brave Grand Sachem,
War Chiefs, Sddaws, and Righ.you.Nuck.
a-setting sun greets you! You, Benefi.
cent Pole.cat.you Devourer of mountains,
you, Roaring Thundergust-the pale.
face from beyond the great waters greet
you all.
"War and pestilence have thinned your
ranks and destroyed your once proud ma
tion. Poker and seven-up and vain
modern expense for soap unknown to
your glorious ancestors) have depleted
your purses. Appropriating in simplici-
ty the property of others has gotten you
into trouble. disappearing facts of
your sinless innocence has damaged your
| reputation with the soulless usurper.
Trading with forty.rod whisky, to ena BILE
you to get dunk ana tomahawk your
families. has played the everlasting mis-.
| chief with the picturesque pomp Of your
dress, and here you are in the bI DAD light
of the nineteenth century, gotten up like
the ragtag and bobtail Of the purlieus of
New York! For shame! Remember
your ancestors! Recall the mighty deeds!
Remember Uncas! and Red Jacket! and
Hole.in.the.Day! and Horace Greeley
Emulate their achievements Unfurl
yourselves under my banner, noble saw.
ages, illustrious guttersnipes-''
"Down wild him!''
"Scalp the blaggard -
"Hang him -
"Dhrown him!'
1t was the quickest operation that
ever saw. I simply saw sudden flash in
the air Of clubs, brickbats, fists, bead
baskets, and moccasins "a single fash,
and they all appeared to hit me at once
and 10 two Of them in the same place.
In the next instant the entire tribe was
upon me. They tore all the clothes off
Of me they broke all my arms and legs
they gave me th"mp that dented the
top of my head till il would hole coffee
like a, saucer; and then to crown their
disgraccful proceedings and add insult to
injury they threw me over the Horseshoe
Falls and [ got wet.
About ninety nine or a hundred feet
caught on projecting rock, and was
almost drowned before could get loose.
1 finally fell and brought up in a world
of foam at the foot Of the Fall, whose
celled and hubby masses lowered up
several inches above my head.
Ofcourse I got into the eddy. I sailed
round and round it forty-four times,
chasing a chip and gaining on it each
round trip half mile-reaching the
same bush on the bank forty.four times,
and just exactly missing it by hairs
breadth every time.
4 o1oOo' ~ that 1,,,ch a-l ...L