The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-05-12
MISCELLANY.
FIXING THE EDGE OrF.

'Ss'sNANsssJ ASOh @ ooAt Va %
hungry eyed, cadaverous fellow stepped into
a restaurant on Fourth Street, and said he
wanted a cup of coffee and piece of bread
and butter. The waiter told him that the
place sold nothing short Of complete dinner,
and the price was fifty cents. Said the
Stranger, ssWell, you sec | amt real hungry,
and only WANT a little coffee and bit of
bread
Waiter It makes no difference ; we sell a
whole dinner for fifty cents, and nothing
else
stlanger-sYoti give hull dinner for fifty
cents?'
Waiter. les, whole dinner roast meat,
potatoes, succotash, bread, butter, pie, pud-
ding, coffee and tea
Stranger Well 'spose you give man
all he wants to eat
Waiter-'o, yes we fill You up for fifty
cents, and give you a solid, good plain meal. J
Stranger. Well. I've half mind to eat
with ye. The fact is the old woman give me
d half a loaf Of bread and a piece Of cold coru
beef for bite, and [ eat that UP at Carpen-
ter's jes now with glass of beer. thought
I'd like good cup of coffee and little bread
atia butter to kind O. wash the thing down !;
but ye say that We can't gim'e that?'
Waiter No sir we'll give you, as I've
said, solid, square meal for fifty cents. You
e~sii SstC ~ jItpiH ~ ~ as
The strangers eyes opened and looked
thoughtful for a moment, and then, striking
his fist upon the table, he exclaimed, BY gum!
| b'leeve I'll take it. / amt right, real
hungry, but bring on your roas' beef and
tators, suckithash, tea, coffee, bread pie and
pudding Bing'em on. By gum I'm in
for square meal, and my fifty cents worth. .
The waiter hurried to respond, and the way
the strangers knife and fork played between
his notith and the plates was caution. 1t
beat half dozen pair of castinets and sound
ed more like bone solo than any thing else
we ever heard. The waiter stood aghast, and
when he turned up with the third plate of
roast beef, the proprietoi, pale as marble from
"a Vermont quarry, called him aside behind
the bar.
For heavens sake, who is that fellow
said he he eats victuals as fast as a thresh-
lnS -IDdcnlne SWALLOWS straw.
The strangers plates were beginning to
show bottom again, and his eyes were running
up and down the room for the waiter. He did
not stop in his eating, but simply turned his
back and let fly against the wall with his
heels
sGi'mes' more roast beef and taters, he
shouted.
The landlord raised his hands in horror.
Great Heaven, James he Il clean us out
said he, as the waiter sprang for the kitchen
Amt ye got more'n wun kind of pie ? ;
inquired the stranger.
20, yes, said the waiter.
Well, then, bring it on, and giv's snm 0
that pud'n, too Jemimy! f was onl,
hungry, how I'd clean We out. Bring me tw'
cups of coffee and cup Of tea, too. l ain
only jis beginnn' to eat.
The landlord listened with dismay, and
stopping the waiter, as he entered the kitche
for the fifteenth time, walked solemny up t
Che stranger and said {:
"See here we amt got enough in thi
house to feed you. just go on now wi
: call it all square. You needn't pay cent 70
what YOU have had"
The stranger became indignant and de
clined, saying that his appetite was just con
ing, and winding UP with a very, yer
4 emphatic /:
Hanged if will .
/ A bright thought struck the landlord as h
walked off in mental agony. fastening t
the bar, he jerked open the till, pulled out
half dollar, and, rushing up to the stranger
placed it in his hand.
Here, here, said he, take this and &
right up to the Holly Tree Inn, and clean en
out. Go on, they'll feed you till you bust 70
fifty cents
Well, said the stranger, as he gradual
arose and stretched himself, at the same tim
putting the scrip in his vest pocket don
mind eff do take it. | amt very hungr
anyhow. only wanted cup Of coffee and
piece of bread and butter, when | come in
but am jis as well satisfied. guess I'll bu
the old mare some oats wait until get hur
to finish up, and he left.--1roy Times.