The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1875-11-05
DETROIT HUMoR.
From the Detroit Free Press.

| ABOUT these times the sentimental maid
en- wanders forth to gather the golden
leaves. AS she picks them up one by one,
she soliloquizes: s..s.,,...r,. ,a;s..r f..
sob, falling leaves, he that passeth by
may read lesson in your falling. You are
typical Of human life. Your mission &C.
complished, the cold, hand of-wo-o-o
that big dead caterpillar-wowch p = | =.
"Yes, purity tuff times" replied a De-
troit boot-black the other day, "and Bin
says they is to be tuffer afore spring. I'd
go on the stage this winter, but hain't no
good clothes. I'd like to git to be cashier
in bank, but I hain't high enough. I've
thought some Of being lawyer, but they
say that lawyers lie SO. I guess, if the
weather holds bad, I'll go to holdin' an of
flee of some kind in the City Hall..'d Fs
.a A Detroit boy surprised his father the
other day by asking:
g Father, do you like mother?'
"Why, yes, Of course"
Sand she likes you?" l |
"Of course she does.'' -f..... rr.
did she ever say so ?' .fr.
Many time, my son." @.
"Did she marry you because sine loved
you?'' ....
Certainly she did,
The boy looked the old man over, and af-
ter long pause asked: .a e.t ;.
."Well, was she as near-sighted then as
she is now 9'' ..E
While group of politicians were yester-
day talking on the City Hall steps about
Bill Allen having been laid OUT" a stran-
ger, hanging to the fence for support, called
out:
"Whaz That bout Allen ?''
" He's been licked" replied on of the
group.
:" 4az, eh9" unused the man, his head
bobbing around as if his neck had a hinge
in it; "well: # Bill Aliens bin lick'd the
felr muss got hold liz year. When teller
gifts you by 'er year nights well give up 'er
med'l ~
An unknown man about thirty years old
is in the practice of loafng around the den
tai offices on Woodward Avenue, and
whenever he sees victim about to go up
stairs he confronts him and asks:
"GoC the tooth-ache ?" raf.
Yes-oh blazes yes |" is the reply.
And you are going to have it pulled
out? ?'
"Yes, guess 500 -#f
"That's right; you'll think the whole
top or your head is coming off when he
pulls It's awful to have tooth pulled I
wouldn't have one jerked for a thousand
dollars, but then if you are bent on it 90
ahead. rll see you when you come out,
and in case of any accident TN go for
DOCTOR" -3 at
And tie tooth-ache goes right away then,
and the victim goes right home. n
The other evening 2 Detroit joker slipped
little pink love letter into the pocket of
staid old citizen as they were riding on the
street car. Of course the old citizens wife |
made dive for his overcoat pockets as she |
passed through the hall, and when she had |
1igested the love letter she determined to |
commit suicide. While going up stairs to |
get her bonnet she got mad and changed |
Ter mind. Walking into the room where |
ne sat before cheerful fire, she exclaimed:
81 Loves you better than her own life. |
ii - .....
"Whe-what ?'' he inquired. ag
And she wants to know how that bald
headed wife of yours gets along, eh p
really-I can't - a4s .sr-9 81"
And she wants $50 to, buy her set of |
urs, does she % rf.5.s s.,.a-.5sf 4e
!" Why, Mary-why, what are you talk
ne about % ...44 -..--.., .s. @+
oh. it's all come out-Pve got the
roofs p she shouted, making a dash for
lis hair.
The worthy man has sworn the most SOL
mn oaths to his innocence; offered to let
er employ a detective to shadow him; ac-
ounted for every hour of his absence dur
ng the last year, and furnished fifty theo-
les in regard to the letter, and yet the wife |
Oddly remarks that she is staying there
olely on the children's account.
81 I. |