Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-03-11
Chinese ToothaChe.

HAP-SWAP, a Chinese washerman at
No. 81 Michigan avenue, awoke the other
night from his bright dream and uttered
a cry which was heard across the street.
He is getting along in age and the tooth
ache had come skulking down upon him
in that soft, sly way peculiar to nothing
| else. He stuffed the sheet into his
mouth, pried around the tooth with a
hair-pin, and drew the clothes over his
head and tried to remember all the dogs
and rats he had ever eaten, but it was no
go. The Polar wave had worked itself
under double tooth, and Hap-Swap
was seen dancing before the uncurtained
windows at midnight and doubling him
self up in the shape of Os and SIS and
DIS.
All day Tuesday, Wednesday and
Thursday he roamed up and down, groan-
ing and signing, and the shirts of his
customers hung against the battered
walls neglected and forgotten. Such
nights as Hap-Swap put in were enough
to turn his hair gray. He sat by the red
hot stove, got into bed, got out, walked
around, but there was no rest for him
Yesterday morning a grocer advised him
to go to dentists and secure relief, and
the Chinaman put on his hat and fol-
lowed a boy to a tooth-puller's. He was
! as brave as a lion, and he jumped into
the chair, leaned his head back, and
cried:
Come alOngee-pull em quickr'
"pll have that out in York minute"
replied the dentist, getting his tools to-
gether.
"Tlake sting! Take stling!" cried
the Chinaman, as he rose up and caught
! sight of the tools.
We don't pull teeth with string in
this country" was the reply. you
just hold still for a moment and you'll
be all right"
Hap-Swap fell back with groan, shut
his teeth hard, and it took five minutes
Of soft talk to make him open his jaws
The dentist then inserted a lance to cut
around the tooth, but at the first dig his
patient slid over the arm of the chair to
! the floor, shouting:
Hap-Swap stabbed in the M 9TH
o5h ooshy'
The dentist explained to him that the
cutting would make the tooth pull easier
but as he talked soft and beautiful
smile stole over the Chinaman's face
and he said:
"Toothache allie gone-alle gone
awaym
He skipped around the Office and
bolted down stairs, but as soon as the
cold air struck it he uttered q yell and
came back on the bound, leaped into the
| chair and exclaimed:
Cit him out quick"
| The dentist went to put in the forceps,
but John" grabbed them, sat up and
begged that he might stand up to have
! the tooth drawn.
Ii you want that tooth out you must
stop fooling and lie an back" replied the
impatient doctor
Hap-Swap opened his mouth, but be-
fore the forceps could reach the tooth he
sat up again and called:
"Tlake stling-put him right around
pull hard!"
a can't use a string. Comedian
right back"
Hap-SDap leaned back, opened his
mouth until a hat would hardly have
covered it, but snapped his jaws together
the next instant and begged:
"Git something-tie up his eyes so he
can't see it hurt!"
The dentist blindfolded the man with
a towel, got his mouth open and the for
ceps at last clasped the tooth. Hap
| Swap began to move around, but with a
sudden pull the tooth was brought out
Oh the gallop.
"W-o-o-s-h-o-u-s-h" howled the Chi
naman as he danced around, and as soon
as the towel was removed he grabbed
the tooth and his hat, went down stairs
with whoop, and as he ran up the ave
nue. he held the molar up to eYerybody's
! gaze, and cried out:
"Joop! Who's afraid to have he tooth
pulled? "-Detrott Free Press.