The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1875-11-24
The Morristown Gazette.
WEDNESDAY, NOV. "a, 1875.
MELANGE.

The Punch man notices that the
bald-headed men comb their heads
with towels.
Lies are hiltless swords-they cut
the hands that WELD them.-P Prentice.
Help somebody worse off than
yourself, and you will feel better off
than you fancied.
Children should be taught the fire.
quent use of good, strong, expressive
words - words that mean exactly
what they should express in their
proper places.
my faith" says De Quincy, sis
that a great man may be an infdel,
by a rare possibility, but an intellect
of the highest order must build upon
Christianity"
Young women are advised to set
good examples, because young men
are always following them.
That writer does the most that
gives the reader the most knowledge
and takes from him the least time.
A ''silver eel three feet long and
weighed four pounds four ounces
has been caught in Mittineague,
Mass. This looks like resumption.
Now put padIocks on your coal
bin doors and graft small powder
magazines into your wood-piles.-
st. Louis GLObe-Denlocrdt
1t was observed of a deceased
lawyer that he had left but few eff
fects; to which lady remarked that
che had but few causes"
Jimmy. give us the core of yer
apple, will yep Johnny, still eat
ing), "You don't want this, it's a
cooking apple. 1 never give fel
low cooking apple.
Two hundred and sixty-three years
ago Sir Henry Walton said in a let
ter to friend: "An ambassador is
an honest man sent to lie abroad for
the good of the commonwealth
"Bless you," said John Henry,
with tears in his eyes, "she takes
her own hair off so easy that per-
haps she doesn't know how it hurts
to have mine pulled ut."-B0ston
Journal.
London Fun - Old party (who
stammers. comes in for some ipeca-
cuanah) -"Oh. ifyou p-please, young
m-man, ] W-want some ip-ip-ip-ip
- "Festive assistant fired by
recent reminiscence)-"Hurrah! !"
When a man has been hard at
work in an obscure way for years
and at length achieves success. nine
tenths of his acquaintances insult
him by offering congratulations on
his ''luck." Boston Transcript.
Loan your money. deposit your
earnings, intrUst your wealth as you
may, but be sure it is not loaned to
''fast" borrower, deposited with a
''splurgy'' banker. or intrusted to a
magnificent and princely'' acquaInt-
ance.
"Pa, [ guess our man Ralph is
good Christian" ''How so, my boy?'
"Why, pa, / read in the bible that
the wicked shall not live out half his
days, and Ralph says he has lived
out ever since he was little boy
An exchange affords the etymolo-
gical information that the aboriginal
title OF Niagra was ''Awniagarah :"
which closely accords with the pro-
nunciation of the world by the mod
ern English tourist. - Nea0 York |
World.
If all the gold in the world were
welded into one solid cubic block,
one side of the cubic would measure
only twenty-three feet. 1t isn't
much of lump, to be sure, but we
should like to play with it a day or
two.-Bufalo Express.
During a clerical conference the
following conversation was heard
between two news boys: Il say.
Jim, what's the meaning of so many /
ministers being here altogether?'
"Why, answered Jim, scornfully,
''they always meet once a year to
swap sermons
A little boy, aged four, whose
thought it right to refuse
him something upon which his heart
was desperately set. finding that
there was no hope for him, burst in
10 a passion of tears, and exclaimed,
We'll, then, what did they born
me foTP'
The reason why woman requires
5 large wallet for the transportation
Of a twenty-five cent shinplaster is
rs deeply wrapped in mystery as the
reason why a dog always turns
around three times when he gets up
after a nap.
It is the curious logic of sin that
is fruit should be no greater than
is seed but acorns swell to oaks,
and grains TO granaries full and
grains of sin grow harvests of the
ieath that deathless spirits know
Tag.
At an elegant wedding Of recent
late at Lockport, q very decided
position was taken by the parents of
he bride in relation to the custom
IF wedding gifts. On one corner
If the note of invitation was signif-
;antly engraven, mo presents"
You can't pretend to tell from the !
ooks or occupation of a man whether