River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-11-18
A Young MorHER,S rxpnRIENrr

| AANiNhSS dtAs III HGI llONNl now
running through the English press. "My
Own Child, gives the experience OF Is.
year'old widow, whose husband had Just
died and whose infant was about to be
born. She says: As is customary with
yeung mothers, | oftener feared that |
should die in my coming trial than live to
see my child grow up and flourish, Any
happiness might experience in the pros.
pect OF 1t only came by fits and starts. 1t
seemed too terrible an ordeal to survive,
ana my Tear was at times overwhel lining. |
brooded over it day after day till depres.
sion was almost habirual, and haunting
me even IN sleep would cause me to start
up three or four times a night, shrieking
Tor help, and trembling from head to
foot with horror which could only feel
and not interpret. Had had any one
ON whom to lean in this extremity
should have borne myself perhaps with
greater dignity and trust but more than
ever did now feel myself to be alone.
Had Hugh's dear, joyous voice been able
TO whisper assurance to me, howev r ig-
noranuy, | should have believed and rest.
ed on his word. Had | possessed another
to take me in her arms, and tell me that
the JOY of the possession Of myself had
nutwelghed her pain, | might have taken
heart from her example and learned to
put my confidence in heaven; but had
no one to speak to on the subject but
such as were even less wise than myself
Aunt Tessie considered it excessively i'm.
proper that any one should allude to such
a ~ kak . Ia
ed in Christian attire and laid in a bas-
sinette; and Jane, with the horror of the
uneducated of physical pain, and the won
deriul capacity they have for dlating on
the terrors OF a situation, so augmented
myEyague fears whenever ] mentioned the
matter to her that my own sense, small
as 1t was, pointed out the advisability of
keeping my thoughts to myself. SO |
dragged out the weary days alone, and
spring drew nearer and nearer; and if
ever prayed, it was-not for protection
and safety and a happy future with my
child, but that | might die before it ever
saw the light. was so frightened
1t was the dawn of one Of the earliest
days OF March when lay in my bed
so weak and exhausted that felt as if
were sinking through the mattresses upon
the floor, right, right away into infnity
Everything about me seemed as though
were in a dream. The voices of the por-
sons who moved about nv room seemed
far off, as if heard through the fog and
yet | could distinguish each word they
said, and watch, in a kind Of indistinct
and hazy manner, the gray dawn that
struggled through the white window
blinds and fought with the sickly light of
the candle which DR.. Carlisle seemed to
be carrying all over the room in the most
aimless way. could trace the unusual
disorder Of the apartment, and | could
see that the faces which had been so anx.
iously peering into mine for the Inst
twelve hours had settled down into some.
thing like their normal expression again.
| knew, too, that my trial was over, and
that | had passed through the gates Of
hell into the calm Of heaven; but | was
too languid to think of anything else.
| felt as if my weakened senses were
gradually fading into Inconsistencies,
and all desired was to be allowed so to
fade away, and never be troubled with
pain or pleasure or any emotion. more.
Even loud and energetic sqnalt from
the other end of the room did not arouse
me.
"a fine child" said the doctor.
very fine, sir" responded the nurse
who had been torturing me for twenty
four hours past with wise sayings, ques-
tionable jokes and worrying attentions,
until had begun to regard her as an ennis
sary Of the fiend himself don't know
as ever see finer. She'sa regular
beauty, she is and such lungs, too y
These words accompanied by another
prolonged squat, made me feel little
curious. Some of the few pleasant antic-
ipations | had ventured to indulge in
flckered back upon my memory.
"DOctor !" / said family.
"Hush, my dear You mustn't talk"
was the immediate answer. as DR.. Car
Isle came up to my bedside and felt Of
my pulse. "So-sol We are getting on.
But you must lie still, like good girl,
and 60 to Sleep j.
"But my baby"
"Oh, the baby's ali right A nice
healthy little girl! Now, you know,
everything's well over, and so you must
just shut your eyes, and think OF nothing
but having good rest
But the squalling was still going, on II
believe they had put the baby on the top
Of the chest of drawers to keep it out of
the way), and something quite new, and
that had never experienced before, be-
gan to spring upon me at the sound, and
make my heart palpitate with eager JOY.
"Doctor! will 60 to sleep, but !
must see my baby y
afterwards, my dear, afterwards; you
are not strong enough yet. Trust me,
everything is right, and yon shall have it
as soon as you have rested little"
81 cannot rest till have seen it. Oh,
doctor! Nurse do give me my baby!'
My agitation was rising. The nurse
glanced at the doctor, and the doctor
nodded at the nurse, and in another mo.
ment bundle of flannel was laid on my
lett arm, and trembied with eagerness
as pulled it open. A fat, pulpy, red
face met ray view, with nose that seem
ed to be spread half over it, two weak,
swollen eyes feebly blinking 90 the light,
and mouth that was slit from ear to