The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-07-10
VARIETY.

HIS PREFERENCE.-A four-year old boy, hay
ing passed through severe squeezing process,
while riding on a crowded horse-car with his
mother, expressed the relief he experienced when
several next to him vacated, by exclaim-
ing, with longdrawn sigh: g Mamma, I'd
rather sit loose
AN INFANTS PROTEST. Shall women ex-
claimed Lucy Stone in lecture at Providence,
the other day, /" leave their children at home and
neglect them while they 60 to vote?' Just at
this point little infant that had been quietly
sleeping in it's r1other's arms aHoke, and, in pro-
test to some motherly correction cried out Justify,
:" No-o-o 90
SAD.-A little boy sad, talking of the death
of his father. The minister said: " Cheer up
my boy your father was man you should re-
member him always and strive to be like him.
What was his last word2'' ." Nothing, sir
nothing. You should know that while he had
strength father was talking with my stepmother,
and was not allowed to have the last word
Two LISEs.-A pious young man left Walla
Walla several weeks since for the purpose of MAX
ing general tour of northern California. Before
starting he solmesly promised his friends to write
back all the particulars of that country But one
letter has been received from him containing two
lines, which says: 's The girls are all from Boston,
and whisky is 25 cents drinks" \ demoralizing
effect.
DzsGUsTED.-A west-end fighter, named 'sThe
Springwells Masker,' of Detroit, went to a house
, in Hamtramocx to lick man who had said some
thing against his character. but found that the
man had been buried for three weeks. The
widow didn't want to fight he couldn't pick
fuss with any one in the neghbOrhood, and be
got on the car with the remark: {. Well, there's
foikH in this world don't two cents how
much trouble they make other folks"
THE WoRsr EFroRT.-At recent spelling
match in Saratoga gentleman offered q library,
worth $3.50, to anybody who would spell cor
rectly the following sixteen words Baa, llama,
eleve (dropped), emeute, tureen, demesnial, eau
de vie, banister, scirrhosity, pharmacopGia, es-
auisse, eleemosynary, caoutchouc, cyclostylar,
ipecacuana, tic douluoreux. The worst effort
to spell them read as follows Baah, lama, ateve,
emute, tcrrene, demesenial, dive, bannister,
skirrotcity, pharnacopia, aeskss, ellemosnary,
cookbook, seiclistila, epieacqana, tic dolaroo.
OF CouRsE.-A Western exchange tells us that
Idaho school-masters are allowed to kick small
boys up and down long flights of stairs, but the
fathers of the boys allowed to kick the top of
the school-master's head off for doing so." OF
course, then, no Idaho school-master who has the
slightest affection for the top Of his head ever for
a moment thinks of receiving n pupil who pre-
sents himself without well authenticated GER
tifcate that he is an orphan whose mother is af-
ficted with infammatory rheumatism IN both |
drms and wears fEger-nails uncommonly short.
In very affecting horse case, recently tried in
New Jersey, the spectators were frequently moved
to tears and the Justice bore il just long as he
could. Finally, when of the sufferers, after |
n copious freshet deliberately blew his nose on |
the lining of his hat, the Court arose and said
Gentlemen, don't Ike to see man so dried |
nm that he can't burst out when the occasion calls
for it. The worst on us has feelins, and when
the wrench is set to work, up they comes Ac- |
cordingly, the Court don't mind if you do get up
On the benches and stop little to relieve your
sel's hut this here blasted blubberin'-this four
months old calf business has got to stop
KNEW HIM BETTER.-A boy recently informed
- FIJI f.-I,SfJ -,
a tenement house on Franklin street, and the Off
Ger hurried in and found a bent backwards |
over the table, and his wife hanging to his hair
with a death grip. The man was helpless and |
the woman knew il and enjoyed it. '' This fight |
inc must be stopped, said the officer, SIS he stood
in the door I'D be willing, replied the wo- |
man, getting new brace for her feet. Then |
WIN 1on't you let up on him?" asked the officer; |
ssbe ye he IL never lay hands on you again. 81
kr,a he does, she replied, breathing exeitedly,
1s bL know him better than you do, mister, and |
I'm 1g to hang right on TO this bair."
~E scuER FIGHrs CIRCUs.-A singular in
eurred in Burlington, Iowa, week or |
q which seems 10 have entirely escaped |
zee of the newspapers. 1t is the more re- |
-ole as its connection with the Brooklyn |
ial entitled it to recognition as a sensational |
1t will be remembered that Mr.. W. W. !
proprietor of Coles New York and New Or |
Circus, conceived the brilliant idea of ia |
zing his cOuntrymen with the faces of the /
j & figures made in New York representing |
"a . Henry Ward Beecher, Mrs. Beecher, |
'S4 ET.lton and Elizabeth. How good the /
w re we don't know. 1t appears, how
'N :. Coles enterprise was understood in
wv nd the figures were followed to Quincy |
9VI a reflective. When about to start on |
ner tour Mr.. Cole was netssed BY Mr..
IS attorneys that legal steps would be
a prevent the exhibition of himself and
sr1n wax. Mr.. Cole concluded to disregard
announcement, and when the circus opened in
Burlington Mr.. Beecher was found there too, in
ef5gy. The day following, one j. G. Williams
appeared in Burlington with power of attorney
rom Mr.. Beecher and obtained an Injunction for
i6dine Mr. Coles exhibition of Mr.. and Mrs.
--,eecher in his circus. after sharp legal fight
L fase was closed-the showcase, that is-and
remainder of the exhibition allowed. A hear
Is to be had in Burlington Tsesday. Mean
lie Williams threatens to enjoin Mr.. Cole who
It's upon his right to exhibit the figures. 1t is
xcelfent advertisement for both parties, but
iron ma n f10iOC IN 0oft he hast IF