Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-06-18
NO. 5l9.
Gleanings.

A rare flower--the pink of politeness.
The key to an uncertain gait-whis-key.
Collectors know when their work is
dun.
Why did Freedom shrieks Kos
ciusko fell.
Hanging is brisk, but with a falling
tendency.
Spain took little Bourbon on New
Years day.
sally what time do your folks diner
"Soon as you 60 away-that's missus
orders.
A California man pounded his wife,
was fined 800, and he sold her silk dress
to pay the fine.
The preparation to keep lady's hand
"free from chaps" is a report that she has
no money.
marry widower! not Ig' said Matilda
"Babies are like tooth brushes. Every
body wants their own"
Bessie Turner is going to run race at
Rittersville, Pa, on the Goth inst. She's
a mare, and said to be fast.
SIS that cheese rich?" asked Bloggs Of
his grocer. EYES," was the candid re-
ply ''there's millions in it."
1t has been cold enough in Kansas to
freeze whiskey, and some of the drunk
ards there have become solid men.
The American Journal published in
Paris by the dentists, is filled with good
extracts. all accomplished without paying.
Forty girls will run after snob with
gold-headed cane, where one will shy up
to fellow with sound horse sense.
The Portland Press has discovered
"model hotel clerk" in that city. Show
the gentleman up to-Barnum's ut once.
Michigan men don't feel as though
they had clopcd if they don't leave q wife
stances.
The estate of the late John Harper is
valued at 81 100000. A man who owns
that much can afford to die. Poor men
cannot.
Won't somebody 60 to Vienna and
make up the population? The last CEN
sus makes it exactly 1901, 1893, which is
awkward.
Only $250,0 year is what Jones ex-
poets to make out. of the artificial ice
business. The other ice-sellers will have
to come down then.
Mr.. Naylle, of Toronto, wins knocked
down by mistake for another man, recent
ly. He hopes they'll hit the right Naylle
on the head next time
George Washington Featherstonpaugh,
once member of the Wisconsin Con-
stitutionl Convention, has been sent to
the Insane Asylum. Alcohol did it.
The High-Sheriff of Idaho is engaged in
breaking in pair of gold-tipped-and-
heeled boots, valued at 500, which are
to represent Idaho at the Centennial.
A California preacher is preaching on
the best way to raise boys We have al
ways found number IA boo: about as
effective as anything for raising them.
1t is melancholy fact that those who
declare war are never called upon to do
the fighting; if they were we suspect
there would not be the slightest amuse-
ment of this nature.
A Green Bay man thinks it very wrong
for q boy to go to a circus, but he will
keep lad turning fanning-mill ten
hours, hand him five cents, and stand and
wait for him to say thank you.
An advertisement for dry-goods clerk
reads: Wanted young man to be part
ly outdoor and partly behind the counter"
1t doesn't specify what part of the young
man IS to be outdoor.
An Indiana Sunday-sch man wrises
to a Bible firm in New York: "Send me
on some Sunday school papers and books.
Let the books be about pirates and In.
dians as far possible.
A young lady who went to the city to
see what was advertised as Spectacular
Drama" came home greatly disappointed.
She says not one of the actors wore spec
tacles -Norristotcn Herald
A circuit preacher in Missouri prayed
for rain one night at farmers house,
and the farmer, who had horse race ar
ranged for the next day, was so mad that
he turned the good man out of doors.
.
Three sisters of Dubuque, are so set in
their temperance principls, that they make
the hired girl smell the breath of every
gentlemen caller and report the result be-
fore admittance to the parlor can be OBJ
tained,
"Now, George, you must divide tho
cake honorably with your brother
Charles; "What is honorable, mother ?"
'It means that you must give him the
largest piece" "Then, mother, I'd rather
Charley should divide it."
Somehow, one can't help thinking of
that citizen Syracuse who has thirteen
children, all girls. Probably there is not
house that hasn't cold chew of spruce
gum sticking to it-Mt. Sent.
1t looks bad to see atiog preceding his
master down the street, and calmly turn
down the stairA to the first saloon he ap-
proaches. 1t shows there is something
wrong, something lacking, deplorable
tendency on the part of the dog.
A lawyer once asked hotelkeeper the
following question: IF man give you .
hundred pounds to keep for him, aud
dies, what do you dos Do you pray for
him?" mo, sir" replied the landlord.
pray for another just like him."
During the trial the Judge called wit
ness. No one answered, and an elderly
man arose and suddenly said '.he is gone"
Where has he gomez" asked the Judge,
in no tender tone. II don't know, but he
is Dead" was the guarded reply.
Albany has had her nobleman. too; It
was Count Barli. Of course he was
rogue in grain. BY any other name he
did not smell as wheat, so when they de-
tected the imposition he acknowledged the
corn, and left to escape . thrashing.-
Detroit Tribune.
"What are you after, my dcar!" said
grandmother to q little boy. who was
sliding along the room and casting furtive
glances at a gentleman who was paying
visit, II am trying, grandma, to steal
papa's hat out of the room without letting
the gentleman see it; he wants him to
think he's out"
The latest chrome story comes from down
East, where Sunday ay-school teacher said
to one of her pupils: Johnny, why don't
you invite your friend Billy to como with
YOU TO Sunday-schoOl?" Johnny looked uD