davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05
A Greater Depth.
Virginia New J EnterDrise


Just after the trial of a petty case,
in which Hank Fisher was witness,
three or four of the lawyers were dis
cussing among themselves the variety
of testimony deduced, when Gen. b.
with his usual vehemence, said,
"There was never such liar on the
witness stand as that Hank Fisher;
he Is undoubtedlythe biggest liar 1
ever knew;;" when the whole party
was somewhat abashcd at seeing
Hank, who heard the Generals re-
mark, step up to him. "Did you say
| was the biggest liar you ever saw?'
"Thatis about what | said," stammer-
ingly came from the General, who
expected fight. Hank eyed him
for moment, and then said, 81 guess
you didn't know my brother John"
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05

The Board of Directors of the
United Railroad Stock Yards Com
pany, at Cincinnati, have reduced
yardage charges on hogs two cents
per head, and on cattle, sheep, and
mules five cents per head.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05
FIFTY QUESTIONS AND AN
to.. SWERS. f.,nEf t..
An Interesting Collection Of Conun-
fa fa3M ls1 drums. @tL

An ingenious correspondent of the
Herald of Health gives the follow
ing fifty questions, each to. be an
swered by the, name Of a well-known
author. The guessing of the ques-
tons will form pleasant evening
entertainment: ga 5as4 ad .,.. .ff4.e-
l. What q rough man said to his
son when he wished him to eat prop
erly. sE as'a
@; Is lions house dug in the side
of hill where there is no water?
8. Pilgrims and fatterers have
knelt low to kiss him.
4. Makes and mends for frst-class
customers. -f iLa3 gga ~.
S. Represents the dwelling of civ
lllzed men. u T..
6. Is kind of linen. 5 re
I. Is worn ON the head. ,
8. A name that means such fiery
things, l can't describe their pains
and stings.
8. Belongs to Il monastery.
10. Not one of the four points OF
the compass, but inclining toward
one Of them.
IL. Is what an oyster heap is like
to be.
u. Is chain of hills containing
an ark treasure.
13. Always youthful as you see;
but between you and me, he never
was much of a chicken.
IA. An American manufacturing
town.
Is. Humpbacked but not deform-
ed.
Is. An internal pain.
II. Value of a word.
ls. A ten footer whose name be-
gins with fifty.
10. A brighter and smarter than
the other one.
20. A worker in precious metals.
81. A very vital part of the body.
%. A lady's garment.
%. A smll talk and heavy weight.
"a. A prefix and a disease.
25. Comes from pig.
26. A disagreeable fellow to have
on ones foot.
81. A sick place of worship.
%. A mean dog It's.
90. An official dreaded by the
students of English universities.
80. His middle name is suggestive
of an Indian or Hottentot.
81. A manufacturing metal.
80. A game and a male Of the
human species.
50. An answer to (which is the
greater poet, William Shakespeare
or Martin F. Tupper?"
"a. Meat! What are you doing.
35. Is very fast indeed.
SO. A barrier built by an edible.
81. To agitate a weapon.
3s Red as an apple, black as
night, heavenly sign or a perfect
fright.
80. A domestic worker.
40. A slang exclamation.
Al. Pack away closely, never scat
ter, and doing SO you'll soon get al
her.
AZ. A young domestic animal.
43. One that.is more than sandy
shore.
A. A fraction in currency and the
prevailing fashion.
As. Mamma is in perfect health
my child; and thus he named a poet
mild.
46. A girls name and male rela
ton.
At. Take a heavy field piece, moth
ing 10th.
As. Put an edible grain 'twixt an
ant and a bee, and a much loved poet
you'll see.
40. A common domestic animal
and what it can never do.
SO. Each living head, in time IT'S
said, will turn to him though he be
dead.
/ ANSWERS.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05

DoTTING.-The editor of a news
paper says that he never dotted an l
but once in his life, and that was in
a fight with a cotemporary.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05

Smith & Brown stopped payment,
and were called a pair of suspend
ers.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05
ANSWERS.

/. Chaucer. .. Dryden. 3. Pope.
4. Taylor. 5. Holmes. 6. Holland.
I. Hood. s. Burns. 0. Abbott. 10.
Southey. II. Shelley. 70. CoIeridge.
Is. Young. IA. Lowell. Is. Camp
bell. l6. Akenside. II. Wordsworth,
IS. Longfellow. 10. Whittier. 20.
Goldsmith. 81. Harte. %. Spencer.
%. Chatterton. "a. DeQuincy. 25.
Bacon. 26. Bunyan. 81. Churchill.
2s. Curtis. 20. Proctor. 80. w.
Savage Landor. 81. Steele. 80.
Tennyson. 33. Willis. "a. Brown
ing. 35. Swift So. Cornwall. 81.
Shakespeare. 3s. Crabbe. $50. Cook,
40. Dickens. Al. Stowe. AZ. Lamb.
43. Beecher. A. Milton. As. Mother
well. 46. Addison. Al. Howittzer.
4s. Bryant. 40. Cowper. so. Gray.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05

Sweetness and light-a love match.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05
d. ". BRCKART.
II. F GTES

A TTORNEY AT LA independence. Iowa.
"A Office over Morse tSarnett's Store Con-
sultatons in English alderman. [19y
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05
". q. 81. BbNNAN,

r AW CONVEYANCINlVAR CLAIM. AND
IL Land Agency Office. ice in First National
Bank building, Independel Iowa.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05
Hair-Dressing.

MRS. GOODWIN would respectfully inform the
Nl ladies of this city that she is now prepared to
do hair dressing in the most approved styles. Work
made satisfactory. Combings turned, the roots
all one way. same as cut hair. Found at her resi-
dence on Main street, first door west Of Presbyter-
ian Church. 1y10-51
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05

Legal and Off advertisements one dollar per
square for the 4 and fifty cents per square for
each subsequensertion, up to four insertions.
A Square is ed to ten lines of Brewer type, or
eight lines of Nhreii, the type Of this paper.
Busin ess Card six lines, or less, at $6 year.
Marriage, Deahd Religious Notices inserted
without charge. obituary Notices ten cents per
lien
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05

The delighted youth gnaweth the I'M
ripe fruit, with which our, first mother
tempted our first father, until 10 and be-
hold an unpleasant pain seizes him be-
meath the girdie, and causeth him 70 shed
tears Of repentance, while he cursed his
first parents for not dcvouring the entire
lot of fruit and its seed.
Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-11-05

YOU'RE always off at nights, Le-
ander," said Mrs. Smith reproachfully
the other evening. Yes, my dear" repli-
ed Smith. you'll remember even when
first proposed, you considered me pretty
good offer. ~ Y Commercial Adosr-
tsSer.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-03-06

The Ascension.

fFr0n the spA1sh o. Luis Peace De Lsool
The Ascension
~ WILLIAM cULLEs BRYAST.
Good Shepherd. Elt thou lave
10 this low vale the hoek that was thy care
Ah1s % pine and Erieye,
While through the purer air
Thou risest up 10 heds forever fAIrP
They who, supremacy best.
Untl the dawn % this unhappy day
Leaned on thy loving breast,
To whom on Earth shall they
Hearken Or look when thea art FAR AWAY
What eOmeIineas OF gres
Can they whose eyes beheid ny beauty see
In other form or hesl
what music viii not Be-
Harsh 10 the ears that harkensd ones % thesf
who now upon the deep
shall look and curb its farJ' Who shah lay
The stormy winds asleep1
What IOde-starfs friendly ray.
When thin l. hid, shall guide The vessel. wsyf
Why ehanse our happy state,
., euEi0as cloud, 20 hsIplessness and fearf
How proud q their rich freight
Thy shining folds APPEAR
How bind and wrsfehsd lh0u dOst leave ~ here
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-03-06
4. sBGRLKBH.
O.. 6EGELKBbs =. NHsIINH.
c.. SEcELKEN & CO.,
Tin, Copper. Zinc and Sheet Iron Worker

Nuuanu Street, bet. Merchant and Queen,
HAVE CONSTANTLY ON HAND
ID Stoves, Lead Pipe, Galv. Iron Pipe, Plain and Hose
IN Bibbs, Stop Cocks, India Rubber Hose-best 3-py in
AN lengths Of rs and so feet, with Coupling and Pipe COM
plete. Also, a very large stock Of Tinware OF every descrip-
ton. Jobbing and Repairing done TO order promptly and war
ranted. Particular attention giveA TO Ship Work.
Thankful. TO the citizens Of Honolulu, and the Islands gen.
orally, for their liberal patronage in the past, we hope by strict
attention to business to merit the same for the future.
II Orders from the other Islands will be carefully attended
to- Apl1 IL
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-03-06

~ Advertisers rsstasnx In the Eastern United States, eAa
pay ar thair cards BY enclosing GrssnSscks 90 United States
Postage stamps tg such amount - they wish 10 pay and thsir
cards win BE inserted - per above tAbts. sE the time Paid fs.
~ Business Cards, When PRERAID PoH A rEAA, are
allowed q discount nroa thee rata, which are sr tr.nsEs.s
advertisements whea paid Or charged quarterly.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10
ABOUT THE TERRITORY.

PIERCE CouNrr. The following arti-
Gle, on the resources of Pierce county,
we copy from the Puget Sound Express:
Pierce is destined to become the
wealthiest county in the Territory Of
Washington, if not on the northwest
coast. The Puyallup Valley contains
the best agricultural land on the coast.
and the products of that region bring
into Pierce county. even now, when the
valley is but partly cultivated and only
sparsely populated, an immense sum Of
money annually. Experience proves
that Pierce is well adapted to stock
raising, from which an additional reve-
nue. is to be derived. But the mineral
resources Of the county are looked to-
ward as the great benefactor and pro-
moter. 1t is we'll known that the very
best coal is found within the bounda-
ries of Pierce and that a company has
been organized with the intention Of
building road from the coal fields on
the Upper Puyallup to the Sound. In
the same locality oil was found a few
weeks ago, and now we have the more
astonishing news to relate that an ex-
cellent quality of marble has been dis
covered not very distant from the coal
and oil region. We have seen speci-
mems Of the marble and really think it
asfaa,,ly 80 good 81 taa ,fsaiian.. We are
informed by parties who have examined
the locality that such an immense lime
bed was never before seen as the one
from which they procured the speci-
mems OF marble, and they are confident
that next to diamond and gold diggings
this discovery is the "best thing ever
struck" OF course capital must be
called in ere anything can be realized
from the marble hills, and we trust that
men with few thousands to spare will
use to advantage the information we
have given them. ..#
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10
TEACHERS REPORT,
SCHOOL DISTRICT NO, /.


Ed: STANDARD: Will you please pub
lish the enclosed report for the past six
months term of the Olympia District
School, and oblige the teachers?
e im OLYMPIA, April 2, 1875.
N. Crosby, Esq, C,erk Board of Trus-
tees. Olympia School District No. 4: ri8
SrR: The contract entered into be-
tween the Trustees of this district and
the undersigned teachers has been full
filed. The Public School opened ON
the 9Th Of October, 1874, and closed on
the 1st of April, 1875. During this
time two legal holidays have occurred,
leaving 11S working days in the two
terms. ,.it ..t- ..-.r 40
The School Census Marshal reports
245 persons in the district between the
ages Of 4 and 81 years. OF this num-
Der, 10l are mentioned in the report
and AZ have attended school elsewhere.
Thus 143, or So per cent. have attended
public school during the year.
In this report four names, Molkina.
Frederick. Conrad and Matilda Schnei-
der, are non-residents.
Number of visits made by county
Superintendent, 1; by school trustees,
6; by other persons, 80. -
Section Is, Chapter 4 of an act, en-
titled, "An act establishing O common
school system for the Territory of Wash
ington," approved Nov. 14th, 1873,
says: -.,a..-,.f -l
1t shall be the duty Of every teacher of a
common school to procure q certificate of
qualification and good moral character before
entering on the duties Of teacher. 1t shall
be his or her duty TO keep q register of the
children attending school. their age, and
the time when they begun, the time they
continue and of the daily attendance, and
with the same he or she shall give list of
the text books principally used In his or her
school, and said register and list Of books
shall be in duplicate and filed with the clerk
Of the district, at the close of every term,
properly certified to by the teacher, the one
copy for the use Of the clerk, and the other
shall, by the clerk, be furnished to the coun-
ty superintendent with his annual report.
In compliance with the requirements
Of this section of the school law, q daily
record has been kept with the following
result:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10
MOTHER-IN.LAw.

Mother-in-law. My mother-in-law-
Dearest old lady that ever saw
Her finger thrust into every pie;
Each secret bored by her gfmlet eye:
And for every thing that amiss doth 70, =.
The comforting mummur: "Told you so"
Mother-in-law. My mother-in-law--
Dearest old lady that everI saw! ..s
housing, and meddling, and stirring up
Now with tho husband and now with the
Perennisi spring of fAmily care - = sax
From the day she began our comforts to
Mother-in-law. My mother-in-law/
Dearest old lady that ever saw
And now she says she is going away.
When I've done so much to prolong her
/ gave her room on the topmost floor,
With banging shutter and iOck1ess door;
Choked up the chimney for her dear sake,
And bought cross watch-dogto keep her
Could son do more? She couldn't demand
And yet the old lady declares she can't
stand IL.
Mother-in-law. My morther-in-law--
Dearest old lady that ever l sawl
Give me your hand and say Good bye!
You won't? Not word, nor parting tear.
Save for her you have soothingiy dubbed
"poor dearf"
Mother-in-law. My mother-in-law--
Dearest old lady that ever saw
Coming each Christmas day to dine;
Now YOU bring Joy to this heart Of mine,
Which quite wells DER with greteful cheer
As I think that day comes only oncea year.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10
LIST OF TEXT BOOKS.

LIST OF TEXT BOOKS.
Spellers-Town's.
acknowledgements Payson &
Dunton's. ts 1l
Grammar - Greene's, Clark's and
Bullion.
U. s. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Readers-National Series.
Moral Training-Cowdery's.
matics-Robinson's.
Geography--Cornells and Montieths.
J. e. CLARK, Principal,
s~ JENNIE PATERSON, Asst.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

:W~ An Italian, named Damascane,
published in 1862 q pamphlet of six
pages at Orleans. on laughing. In it
he pointed out the nature of men by
their mode Of laughing: The melan-
choly laugh hi, hi, hi i--the bilious he,
he, he 1.-The robust, ha, ha, ha '-and
the happy, no, no, no!
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

"It has leaked out" through
Bowen that Plymouth Church has sub
scribed fund Of $125, 900 to pay for
the defense of their pastor. The sum
is large; but then the job is. q long and
tough one, and we think it is worth the
money. Bowen seems to have got mad
because he was importuned to subscribe
(which he refused to dol and that set
him to talking" ... ..ll -.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

s% The Cincinnati Enquirer tells Of
q woman there who has triplets. and
of another who owns three pair ..of
twins. They disagree az to which of
them holds the best hand. Schenck
says three Of q kind beat two pairs, but
he don't say how many Of a kind it takes
to beat three pairs. .. 'E'
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

one foot and twist their necks of trying
to look at their heels and ask the other
fellars if they saw anything on their
boots beside the backing; and then de-
sired to know who some fellar was;
and then they'd go back and dance
again; and then the rest Of the chaps
went out and looked at their boots and
cussed and eat cloves. and Just said
what they'd like TO do. and they tried
to 90 on with the dance, but It got too
hot and the gals wouldn't dance, but
sat by the winders and said it was awful;
and one or two tainted and the chaps
got white around the gills and the ball
Jest busted. Then every fellar made re-
marks and insinuations against some
other chap, and there was FIVE or six
fights; and when they got home they
went snuffin' around the same way and
finally concluded it was in the atmos-
phere; and then when they pulled them
boots off it was in the atmosphere so
it would we'll nigh knock bull down:
and eleven pair of boots went out of
eleven winders and eleven of the mad
dest fellars you ever see lay awake all
night thinking what they'd do in the
morning with shot gun.
Next day they found out who got the
Limberger, but Sam Jones had gone to
Monterey, He came back in about two
weeks and packed shot gun all the
while. Whenever he came across one
Of them cheese fellars he'd make him
throw up his hands until he explained
it to him.
st were at the ball and I've had no
use for Limberger since" said Jim.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

T The Nevada Transcript has
" sometimes thought that some people
manifest q good deal Of selfshness in
their efforts TO save their souls. What
ever becomes OF the rest of mankind, il
they feel secure they are happy, even if
they should by their actions crowd 9TH
ers out"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

d s~"iWhy, Ichabod, I thought you
got married more than Q year ago"
!" Well, Aunt Jerush, it was talked Of.
but I found out that the girl and all
her folks was opposed to it, and 10 I
just gave 'sm all the mitten and let the
the thing drop"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

ssy- There are several counties in Ida
no Territory that comprise moro space
than some OF the smaller Eastern and
Southern States. t
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

:, sE Nebraska offers for sale 80 600
in bonds, the proceeds Of which arctic
be devoted to the purchase af seed
grains for the settlers in the graas-h0p
per region. This is q agood idea, though
Il is doubtful whether the aiiionflt' to be
raised will be near enough forathe pur-
pose intended. !ss;
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

~ The Lord never meant for us
TO bile over with religion this cold
weatherr' said Duluth deacon a. he
dismissed church and went homo to hug
the stove. VIA H.fasN
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

T 1t tisn't loud praying that counts
with the Lord SO much as giving fonr
full quarts for every gallon" says an
Arkansas circuit rider. i''
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

A CrTY WrrH SnvER-P6vRD STREETS. -
Our principal streets says the Virginia
(Nev.) Enterprise, is being macadamized
with refuse ore taken from the mines in
early days, and being coated with rich
ore that has been year after year sifted
down upon them from the ore wagons,
are now everywhere more or less argen-
tiferous. Indeed there is not the slight
est stretch Of imagination in saying that
we never take step in the town but
we are walking on silver that our
streets are literally paved with silver.
While speaking of this fact, day or
two since, young man bet his friend
the price of the assaying and i" cigars
that he would take a lump Of mud of
the wheel Of bus, standing before
them, and would get out OF it precious
metals to the value of $5 per ton. An
ounce or two of mud was taken from
the wheel of the vehicle and placed in
the hands of an assayer. who was not
told where the sample was obtained,
and who no doubt supposed that he
was dealing with decomposed ore vein
matter from one of ocT mines. The as
say was made, and the assayer's certif-
cate showed that the sample contained:
Silver, 7.54, gold, g. 80; total 50. SO. "
After this we may put on airs, even
though our streets are villainously mud
dy occasionally. for the very mud on
our boots contain both silver and gold
lis not the vulgar mud of the " COW
county town." I}
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

"a girl in Macoupin county, Illi-
nois. recently sawed . cord, of hard
wood in one hour and forty-fiss minutes
each stick being cut twice. She is de-
scr.bed % pretty, and not yet sightesn.
and she performed the task in . fit Of
anger because her mother told her she
wss at for nothing but to sit in the par
lor and read novels, u. -
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

H~ There were no less than twenty
five bridal parties at the Clifton House.
Niagara Falls, recently in one day.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

SE The district damaged by the.
grasshoppers in Minnesota covers one
tenth of the area of the State.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

fE The fnancial pressure is loosen 4
ing. Even the days are not so !" short
as they were.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-04-10

The SpBLLrNG FEvER.-Smith says
this spelling school fever is getting to
be an intolerable bore. On going home
to supper in great hurry one evening
lately, he found his wife sitting in front
of the parlor fire, with spelling book
in her hand, and heard an indistinct
mumbling, in which he could OCCASION
ally distinguish: "c.o-m-p-l-a-c-e-n-t,
satisfied, happy" etc.
els supper ready, my dear?" asked
he.
"S-u-p-p-e-r," was all the answer he
could hear.
Come, come, must be up town
shortly" said he.
"S-h-o-r-t-l-y," echoed the lady,
moving toward the kitchen door, paus-
ing in the door to take one last look at
McGuffey.
Mrs. Smith, I must be back up
street in a few minutes, and must have
my supper Immediately" yelled the now
irate husband.
I-m-m-e-d-i--!" but this was too
too much, and here the coal scuttle
crashed against the kitchen door, Just
as the fortunate photographer lodged
behind and closed it, while Smith avers
that he heard something as she whirled
through the door, that sounded like
COAL coal SCOUT" and here the
sound was lost amid the clatter Of tin
pans, skillets, etc. He is now prepared
to fight any man who may be rash
enough 20 say McGdTey" TO irim:: : -e