The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1875-04-29
Anecdotes Of Doctsrs.

In Abernethy, we come again to one OF
those rough, eccentric physicians OF whose
kindness innumerable good stories are |
told. Like DR.. johnson he had warm
heart under rough exterior. Inougn
he could be absolutely brutal to tine Ia
dies and affected misses, he is said to
have been an amiable man, beloved of his
family and friends. But to tiresome pa
tients and nnala des inaagiaQars, he was
At times the preservation of rudencss:
.Sir, that's enough; 60 home and read
nv book" To lay who complained of
low spirits he would say: "Don't come to
me, 90 and buy skipping rope Some
times. however, he met his match. Cur.
ran one day came to consult him and was
rather difuse in describing the symptoms
of his disorders. "Sir,'' said Abernethy,
"you had better tell me your whole life. .
Upon which Curran sat down and serious
~ began: Il was born in the year -,
in the county Of -, Ireland and
Abernethy burst into laugh and entered
properly into his case. A lady determln-
ed to be brief. and to humor the tyrant
one day entered his consulting room, and,
thrusting out an injured hand. merely
said: my thumb, sir" "You, madam,
he exclaimed in admiration, care the only
sensible woman ever had for a patient.
A gentleman, equally determined,
being roughly interrupted, suddenly
locked the door, put the key in his pocket
and insisted on being heard. Abernethy
smiled, and complimented the patient on
his resolution. To gentlemen who gave
him twenty pounds to re.attend his wife,
he said: care you the fool who gave me
twenty pounds the other day? Go home
and ten your wife to dine earlier and eat
less; and do you keep your money in
your pocket, for no doctors advice is
worth twenty pounds.'' To a lady he
said severely: $50 home and tell your
husband that he will not have vile this
day six MONTHS
Abernethy was no respector OF persons.
Poor or rich, his patients had to submis-
sively take their turns, or they might go
elsewhere. An angry nobleman once
broke into his room, aud stated his rank
and position in full, and asked
Abernethy if he knew who he was. To
this Abernethy replied: ''And |, sir, am
John Abernethy, surgeon-lecturer Of
St. Bartholomew Hospital, etc. !; and If
you wish to consult me, am now ready
to hear what you have to say in return,
SIR The Duke Of Wellington, angry at
having to wait his turn, abruptly entered
his room. Aberhethy asked him how he
had entered. "By the door, sir. = ''Then, =
said the irascible doctor, Il recommend
you to make your exit the same way"
He is also SAID to have refused to attend
George w. till his lecture at the hospital
was over. The point on which Abernethy
most insisted was the stomach, and
through that important organ he declared
that all diseases could be cured. The
celebrated biscuit which he used to eat
and recommended we're not SO called
from him, but from the baker who first
invented them. That there was kindness
in Abernethy, who can deny who remem-
bers the story Of how he returned all his
fees to a poor poor widow who had con-
suited him. and added fifty pounds to en-
able her to give her sick child q daily
ride? He had horror of operations, and
reioiced when the evil could be averted
without such rough and terrible rene
dies.
We must not forget to enroll among
our doctors the poet doctor. Akcnside
who at the age of %, wrote the "Pleas
ures of the Imagination" poem which
Pope admired and eulogised. Akensidt
is described by one Of his biographcrs a:
bundle of contradiction. By turns h
was placid, irritable-simple, affected
gracious, acknowledgement, bepevolent--kint
and brutal. He is described as thin, pail
and lame. He was rough to women. ant
sometimes pacsd tho hospital preceded
BY porters with broons, to drive bacl
the crowd. The poets classical taste
were ridieu!ed by Smollett in Peregrin
Pickle; nor can We wonder at Smollett'
ridicule whom we read the stories Of AIKEN
sides sourncss and arrogance. 1.-The bull
He'd his poorer patients, as we are told h
did, we can only rejoice ut the mortifico
ton he must have felt when one Of tn
governors Of St Thomas plainly toll
him: "Know thou art q servant Of thi
charity
Among eccentric physicians, we canno
select better instance than Garrick'
enemy, the facetious DR.. Monsey.
poor doctor at Bury st. Edmunds, he OF
tanned q patron by saving Lord &c
dolphin, who was on his way to New
market, from an apoplectic attack. /
London he became the friend Of Sir Rob
ert Walpole.
aHow IS it, said Sir Robert, "that nc
BODY viii beat me At billiards, or contrs
dict me, but DR.. Monsey!"
"Other people," said Monsey, 'ge
places; get dinner and praise"
One of Monsey's oddities was his wa
of extracting teeth. He would some
times fasten ! bullet to piece Of catga
which he fastened to the guilty toott
He then loaded pistol with the bulle
and fred. He once prevailed on frien
to try this strange operation; but whe
all Was ready, the patient repented. an
bawled out to Monsey to stop.
.Stop, stop! I've changed my mind.
sBut haven't, and you're fool an
. cowardr' said the doctor, pulling Il
trigger with malicious speed. Monst
in old age became miser; and there IS
story told Of his returning from Journs
to find his servants at teA-party, ~
just preparing to light fire in era
u. "A h,JIc,> x~,1d ~nI notes tn