The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1875-03-11
The Detroit Police Business.
tFrom the Detroit Free Press
TOO MUCH TALK,

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TOO MUCH TALK.
"I don't care cent for your crow-bars
and your cross-cut saws-I want to know
what I'm in here for" exclaimed Orlan-
do Jackson as he came out.
"Be gentle, be kind, be patient
answered his Honor as he looked over his
papers. :.
and you can't do itp continued Orlando.
"Ah! here's the paper-the charge is
drunkenness"
"It's a lie !" shouted the prisoner.
His Honor laid the paper down and
looked at Orlando for long minute.
You could have heard snowflake fall.
"Come, hurry up with this nonsense!'
exclaimed the prisoner, putting his hat
on his head.
In low, sweet voice, unmingled by
a single passionate strain, his Honor re-
piled:
"r make it three months, and if you
don't take off that hat I'll have Bijah
take all your hair off with It'll"
well, hain't -W
The court raised his hand, pointed to
the corridor, and Orlando was drawn in
among the saw-horses and oil cans.
A FLEETING SHOW.
"Guilty of being drunk, and l want to
90 up for three months" said Thomas
Payon. as he stepped out.
His Honor nodded, the prisoner retired,
and all was over in sixteen seconds.
THE MISSING BRIDE.
"Why, where am ?" inquired Augusta
Peters, dame of torty-fve, as she stepped
out.
"Among thy friends, noble Countess of
Wyandotte," replied the court.
"Why, what happened! Is this a
hospital ?" she continued, as she gazed
around, apparently much astonished. j.,
eve often make people SICK" replied
his Honor, as he opened the warrant.
~ must have fallen down in a fit. All |!
l remember now!" she said as she tied
her bonnet strings.
"Come, 'Gusta, no more fooling," he
replied. you've been here twenty
times, and you can't throw sand into my
eyes by any such nonsense. This paper
says you were on a royal spree last
"Oh! your Honor, was-I own up
Pm s0rry-never any more-oh! l feel
SO bad"
"Didn't warn you last week ?"
"You did-oh! you did-but Pm GO
ing to get married tonight to Mr.. Jack
son and you must let me Off"
"Pd like to see you married of and
occupying five-stOry residence" con-
tinued the court "but justice cries aloud
for vengeance, and l shall make it five
dollars or thirty days"
"Here come here" whispered Au-
gusta, swapping her finger at some one in
the crowd.
A sickly locking man about five feet
high, with mammoth comforter tied
around his ears, obeyed her beck and
was announced as her future husband.
"Do you love her % inquired the
court.
"Kinderw replied Jackson.
"Well, you'll have to pay her fine or
see her 60 up"
Mr.. Jackson pulled out very large
wallet, took long time to look it over,
and finally laid down three ten-cent
pieces and four coppers
"Can't do It'll" called his Honor, as he
turned away from the bonanza, "thc
bridal feast must wait"
"Oh! Judge-Oh! darling-Oh! you
dear manp walled Augusta, but she
was waited away to a seat in the Maria.
A MARTYR WAS HE.
Disturbing the peace" said his
Honor, as Samuel Lewis, cOlOred, stood
on the line.
disturbing the peace, ehg
eyes, sir; you are charged with
throwing stone through saloon win
dow"
"Frowing stun, eh ?"
eyes, sir; throwing stone and then
running away"
"Runnin' away, eh p
eyes, sir; what have you got to say for
yeurself?
"Dey say I frode stun, eh ?"
eyes, sir"
"And that l run away?"
eyes, SIR"
"And dat / was cotched?"
eyes, SIR"
"And dat I was fotched here ?"
eyes. sir; do you plead guilty or not
guilty~
The prisoner buttoned up his coat,
shifted around to face the audience, and
then stretched out his arm and de-
manded:
"Whar's de man who says / frode a
stunt?
No answer.
"Whar's de man who says run away ?"
Painful suspense.
"Whar's de accuser %
The officer in the case had failed to put
in an appearance, as well as the wit
nesses, and the prisoner was discharged.
He left the court room with dignified
step, and as crowd assembled around
him at the door he was heard saying:
"'Sposen hadn't stood up and made
dem speeches! Whar' would be now ?"
And the cold north wind moaned
around the gables, tumbled over the
house-roofs and sadly echoed:
UXVhor, 20