The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1875-03-10
Variety.

There is no l1ck ike pluck.
Hostile furniiure-Armed chairs.
The butcher is mighter than the pen.
A last musioian-One who plays too forte.
With hungry men. meal times are the best times
AIuryer expects to make money every time
be makes a motion.
What's the use olteIliug an old maid to "hus-
hand" her ras0urcesf
An u-miess Miiwaukee woman boxes her hus-
bands ears with ber feet
The ladies' al a fair expect 70 make sale without
Whiting fJr fair wind.
Why should the male sex avoid the letter a
because IL makes man mean.
A Green bay woman, who weighs $50 pounds,
insists that she is somebody's darling"
A New York baker adrertises biscuits so ex-
gaisiie that persons -sgh as their favor dies away
upau their breath
When Young lady hens handkerchiels for a
riah bachelor she probably ssrs that she may
reap.
Since our last interview, my dear sir, find
that you have GOT slightly gray a mere
n1lhiuc-a little of the dust O the road Of life
was he philosophic reply.
1u R0xbu-ysbire the foxes are so numerous
thai an Irishmau remarked that he saw three
sitting both together, only about twenty yaTds
from each Other.
some one wrote TO Horace Greeley enquiring
i- ruaDo was good to put on pOtatoes. lie said
ls might DO for those whose tastes had become
ri-iliad with iObaoc0 and run, but be preferred
rrlvy and butter.
A young lady having promised her grandmama
thai she would never marry certain young man
'0u the face Of The earth" repaired with him,
ahe The old ladys death 10 the Mammoth Cave,
ll EaatHol,y, ana Eas married underground.
Pope. dining once with Frederick Prince Of
Wales. pai5 The Prince many compliments. 81
von5e-, Pope sid the Prince, ''tbat you. who
ara SO severe on kings. should be 50 complaisant
t0 me ID IS, saia the WHY bard, because
Ilzs The lion before bis claws are groWn.r
one oi the most asrooious puns ever made was
pgTer1iei by q very harmless sort Of person.
When Mr. S5bsrieirh read thai father in the
EGess ha5 chopped lis only son IN two, be inno-
Gently remarked that he didaf think they ought
20 Hrzes man Tor SIMPLY parting his heir in the
middle"
The Columbia Uri0u Herald relates that
o5lo-s5 reutlenan called a. the Office Of that
-z-.a- 70 s1tsc-ibe fo- il. when. after the sats-
fa5io-y TRANSACTION Of the business IN hand, the
f5lI5Eiar cologuy oocarne3 "a Colonel, 90 you
propose 10 represent yO1r county in the mex; leg
is-.u-s p No, ST. I've given Up craftsmanship,
and iHian5 le1-uiar 10 read and write, and to at
-Ha5 % ny E,sis tarm. NOmore ofthst foolish
ness fo- me"
A Il- and b1zou widow IN Portland, Maine,
pho hai burie5 three husbands, went with
gentleman Hho had paid her marked attention 10
ne 5s7s 0f adolescence, 70 inspect the graves Of
ta- -55zr 6e1a-to5s-" Aher contemplating them
s1us Minutes ia m0urnful silence, she murmured
Q bg- oozp4aioa, "Ah, Joe. you might have
bss1 "a hat roE Il yOa had only had little 1
ul-e o1u1re.-
SEE-PosszsS oS.-AH unnecessary movements 4
are oo1.=zsy 70 TIE rules Of gace aud good
t-seiiur. When not Intentionally in motion, /
yu1- bo5y Ia5 limbs should be IN perfect rest. |
.Ailisoa ssys hat the use Of dancing lessons |
Is 10 teach lady how to sit siill gracefully" /
lCu- whole department should give the idea that |
Eo1r person. your voice, and your mind are en-
-1ay under your own control. Self-poseession 4
e he frs. requisite 10 good manners, and where
n is wanting there is generally reason for it in
sa1e Eroag feeling or false appreciation Of things.
Na1ity a love o. display, IN orerweening desire /
10 ae admired are great obstacles to self-posses-
sou; whereas. Well-disciplned and well-balanc-
ed ca--acie- VII generaiy lead 10 eOupOsure and
ssi-ooumaDd. In : very elegant assembIage in
.a7ge draEihgroom in a southern city l saw q
youlg lady walk quietly and easily across the
a71-tneut 10 speak 70 a friend, who said TO her,
wanted very much to get TO you, but had
DOT tie cou1ge 70 cross the room how could
Toa % 1t, sH alone. too, and with so many per-
sons looking al vouf" I did not think Of any
eocys booking a ne, was the reply; and in that
lay ne secret of Der selfpossession. Modest
people think themselves 10 be Of too little conse-
qnenoe 70 Be observed /; but conceited ones think
everybody must be looking at them. Inexperi-
eaoeo girls, Who are not wanting in mOdesty, are
a.; 70 dread gong into a crowded room from an
ioaa that every eye will be turned upon them
oui aites sWhile they End that nobody cares TO
iook Al then. and that the greater the crowd, the
less they are observed.