The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-07-16
Those Circus Bills.

She had one in her hand as she cam
up stairs, and she didn't say wor,
until after she had wiped her speetaeies
placed them on her nose, uufolded tin
bill, and read few OF the headlines.
She was old-fashioDed in look. Their,
were strings to her bonnet, she had nt
hustle, her gray hair was combed dow
| smoothly, and there were only clever
yards in her black alpaca dress
"YOung man, don't you know that cir
cuses are awful liars and humbugs p
she finally inquired,
The man at the table leaned back il
his chair, and refused to express al
opinion.
| "Well, know it, ," she continued in g
positive tone, "and I believe they gil
'wuss every day. Now see here-listen
to this: A gorgeous panorama OF
amazing wonders-a gigantic combina.
ton of astonishing acrobatic talent.
That's all right on the poster, but hev
they got EN-? I'd like to see one O.
them animals
you're laboring under a mistake,
madam. IT means a grand display of
natural curiOsities, and informs the
public that the proprietor has secured
many first.class acrobats-the chaps
who stand on their heads, turn head
over heels, and cut up so many monkey
Shines"
cit does, Ell? she unused "waal,
do you believe it takes a smart person
TO keel over ?"
well, one has to have q good deal
of training"
They do, eh ?" she remarked, as she
10 %lo
on her hands "I'll show you that you
are deceived I'm an old woman, but
if I ant"
"Madam, hold on-don't do If ?" ex-
claimed the man behind the table.
81 can flop right over there and never
shake my bonnet she said as she rose
up.
Il know you can, madam, but don't.
am here alone, and II don't want
you to. I'd rather you wouldn't. If
yOu are determined on it I shall leave
the room
''Well you know I can do it, and
that's enough. You may be right abo:..
what that means, bnt see here-hear
this: The highway ablaze with re
splendent chariOts-the grandest pa
geant on earth I've been to lots Of
oircuses, youn2 man, and [ never saw o
pageant yet. II they had one the door
of his cage wasn't open"
You are also in error there. The
bill refers to the fact that the great
nlmber of wagons, chariots, ETC., make
up q sight worth seeing as they pass
along the street"
Um-m-n," she muttered as she
folded the bill over " don't see why
they couldn't have said so then, And
now see here-read that Sig Govinoff,
in his aerial lights. Now, then, is
that a boa constructor or d cundufa0go?"
/" 1t is man, madam-one of tho per-
formers. His real name is probably
Jones. but that isn't grand enough, and
so they put him down as Sig. Gov |
inof..' He is the man who jumps off
a rope, turns over twice, and comes |
down all right"
"He is, eh? Wen, if he's got an
idea that he's the emartest man alive I |
want to disappoint him. I never did |
try to turn over twice, but I'll do it right !
mere and now or break my neck! Git |
The things off n that table
Stay, madam-don't [ wouldn't |
have YOU do it for fifty dollars"
"Just once ,"
For heavens's sake, madam, get |
Town Offi'n this table-here-here's |
iollar if yOn wont do it !"
O. [ don't want your money, and l
Won't try it if your so scarf, but I don't |
yant no circus going around talking |
about aryal flights and deceiving the
people -
She sat down, the young man wiped
he sweat off his brow, and presently
he remarked:
"And here's another thing, right
lere: "A sparkling asterisk, flashing
lcross the field of the cloth OF gold
Monsieur Gomerique in his great de
ineatiOus of human character I'd
ike to know who she is"
" Madam, that is a man a man who
ielineates character"
"How?"
"Why, he makes up faces-expresses
nirth, sorrow, jov, and so forth.
" He does, Ell? Well, what's that to
,low abo 1t? Make up faces-see
lere !"
And she shut her eyes, run her tongue
,ut, and looked like the bottom of
~ a mule.
iuCJ hIG huLlDUS5, SLi SL-C GNU
IS she drew her tongue in, "and dye
uppose I'd pay fifty cents to go to
ne ?"
"They are quite entertainjl Z as a
General thing"
'' They are, Ell? Entertaining, Ell?
Well, if I can't do more entertaining in
i've minutes than a circus can in all day
II leave my bonnet up here Here,
lold on to this chair p
GO Madam, I earnestly hope you are
lot going to perform any tricks"
Sc hain't. eh? You just hold on to
he Iegs of this chair -
81 can't, madam wouldn'S do it
or all the diamonds in Syracuse Go
way, madam-go home I'm in an
.wful hurry -
''yFell, 1 won't then, but when say
ircusss are humbugs can prove it. I
i0n't keer two cents for their big words
nd their panoplies, pageants, asterisls,
,iraffes, aryals, geoTgouses, and oHrang-
can beat 'em ali holler
nyself -
And she took off her spectacles. lifted
Ter umbrella, and went down stairs
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