The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-12-03
A "LYAR" WANTED.

= l. the lyar IMP"
We all looked up from our desks and
gazed upon the questioner, who stood in
the open doorway of the otfice-the law
Office Of Drudge ~ SkinRem-where
had been. for nearly two years, Reading
law" The "we" that looked up were
four in number. They were the junior
member of the firm; Mr.. Slocum, a
client; Jack Wallace, the clerk; and
myself.
Mr. Slocum had, for the last half
hour, been buzzing his attorneys ear
with a long and questionable statement
Of his business affairs, with reference to
making out case of voluntary bank
ruptcy, from which he might emerge a
little better off than he went in. Jack
was busy drafting a letter TO some nom
resident client, explaining the delay in
the litigation of said clients interests !:
while was drawing up an affidavit for
"changc Of venue in case, which afli-
dayit stated that l believed the Judge TO
be prcjudiced. etc.
Thus the very occupations that three
of Us were about, and the profession Of
the fourth, made the interrogatory, "Is
the lyar imp take upon itself, to each Of
rs. particularly home character.
To be called a liar i, by common
consent, deemed TO be an insult proper
ly answered only by blow. Yet. let
the exasperating idea knock at the door
Of conscience in the shape of a mild, i'm
noccnt interrogation point, il will scarce
iy obtain from any one of Us so rude
reception. Ii is my conviction that al
most any one not Pharisee, having the
portal of his room suddenly thrown
open, and the question, - l. the liar in 2''
injected upon his meditations, will feel
like hesitating before he answers s.No.n
But most of all am assured that no bevv
Of attorneys and clients. invaded bv
SO ominous an inquirer, will dismiss him
with a negative, till pretty thorough
canvass of the party has been made.
As for myself, in this case, as |
glanced down at the unfinished afiida-
Wit before me, | felt like responding,
present" Ny private opinion is
and yours would have been, too, if you
had been there-that every one else in
the room felt the same way.
The questioner was a COMMUNICATING
chap of middle age, and evidently
German, or, as we used 10 call the
Rhinelander in those days, and with
40 Intentional disrcspect either, "a
Dutchman."
You know the story about the darkv
who called his dog "irumps?'' Come
here, Trumps! Nice fellow, Trumps!"
Then, turning to bystander, SAY.
boss, does ye know why calls dat dorg
Trumps?" "No, can't imagine. =
Kase dat's his name. Yah, vahin
Well, that is the reason we called the
Germans Dutchmen, because we sup
posed that was their name.
The questioner. as | said, was Ger
man. He wanted a lawyer, and "lyar''
was a. near a. his tongue could get to
it. And to the minds Of most people, |
suppose, that was plenty near enough.
SO you want liar, do We? ' SAYS
Skinnem, looking quizzicaliy around
the room at each Of US, THAT must
mean you, Slocum," he continued,
turning to his client.
Slocum turned red in the face, but
parried the home-thrust by saying that,
though he did not claim that truth
would die with him, he thought he had
not got TO that pass when he should be
selected out Of nest of lawyers when
liar was wanted
Then Skinnem concluded that it was
" ono Of the boys"-as he used to call
Jack and me-that was wanted He
said that he would certify, when we had
finished the Jobs before us, to our quail
fcations 70 fill the bill.
In the meantime, our Dutchman''
showed signs of excitement and impa-
thence. He said he ''must have a lvar
straight, quick out. Der lyar must go
nit him in der sleigh, und drive like dc
dayvil to Prctzelberg.n Pretzelberg was
German settlement some miles out.
Tie further gave US to understand that
friend of his was under arrest, and
about TO be tried for larceny, and need
ed the services Of "a lyar" to defend him.
There was no time to communicate the
details Of the case, but they must be