The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1875-07-09
MARK FWAINs BIG FRIGHT.
A story of Old Times Oh the Mississippi.
Not IN the Atlantic MONTHLY,

While sitting IN front of the Southern
Hotel, talking to future great citizen
about the old steamboat days of St.
Louis, When captains, clerks and pilots
ran the town, and ran it under a full
head of steam, an ancient mariner let
up on whiting the arm of the next
chair, turned toward US, and remarked {:
You was speaking Of The old river
days ?" " We was, " I replied. "Per-
haps, now, yOu have been reading some
of Sam Clemens's 8 yarns ?" 1 held up a
copy of the Atlantic, opened at Mark
T8ain's article, which had really
brought about the conversation. "Yes,
I thought so we'll, he don't tell all he
knows, said the social riverman, reach
ing over for a tObaccO-pouch which a
gentleman was passing to a friend
" There's one little affair he 'aiDt work
ed into print yet, and it 'aint likely he
will"
The social stranger quit off on his
reminiscence at this point and talked
generally about the bad outlook Of the
crops and the universal disadvantages
of dryness. Seeing that nothing but
gin and sugar would start him anew, he
was persuaded into a convenient bar
room, and after hoisting in three fng-
CAS AL4CAA ECA I4SrhAAy . q LtlA4NAAu VI " u
ers and several chunks of cheese, he
proceeded with his anecdote, interrupt
ing himself number of times to re
mark to the barkeeper. "The same,
pard."
''I was first engineer of the AIexan-
der Scott when Sam Clemens Mark
Twain) was a cub in her pilot house,
He was a clipper young chap, with legs
no bigger'n casting line, and fuller of
tricks than a mule colt. He worked off
Jokes on everybody aboard, from the
skipper down to the roOsters (darkey
deck hands), but they we're all taken in
FCOd part, but l lay by two or three to
pay back. About the time Sam got the
run of the river enough to stand alone
at the wheel, the Scott went into the
lower river trade, carrying cotton from
Memphis TO New Orleans. Perhaps,
now, yOu never see boat IN the cotton
trade burn Well, yOu may cover your
cotton from stem to stern with taTpau-
Inns, and keep your donkey engine
steamed up, but if spark of fire touch
es cotton, enough to fill a tooth, your
boats a corpse. It's quicker'n gun
powder to burn, and no pilot can reach
the lower deck from the texas in time
to save himself, let alone this Saratoga.
So, you see, everybody in that trade is
on the watch, and an alarm of fire in
boat loaded with cotton will turn
mans Lair gray quicker'n an alligator
can swallow n niger.
"Sam, being a young pilot, and new
to the cotton trade, was told over and
over again how the profession would
lose a promising cub if ever a fire broke
out on the Scott, and the boy got Der-
vous. My striker and me always man
aged to be III the lunch room when Sam
came off watch, and as he came in we
would talk about the number of cotton
| boats that burnt IN such year, and how
| such cub would have made a alghtning
! pilot if he hadn't got burned up in the
cotton trade and we always noticed
| that Sans appetite failed him after
| that, and instead of going to bed he
would go prOwling around the lower
deck and peering about the hatchways,
smelling at every opening like a pup
! that had lost its master.
Gone day when we backed out of
| Memphis with big cargo of cotton, I
complained, in Sans hearing, that the
mate had loaded the boat too near the
| engines. The boy followed me into the
| engine-room, and, without seeming to
/ notice him, 1 told my striker 1 would
| do my level best 10 keep that cotton
| from catching fire, but that it was a
slim chance with bales piled right up
before the furnace doors. Sam got
/ whiter'n bulkhead, and went up to the
| texas, where he packed his Saratoga,
ready for any business that might come
/ before the meeting. When he went on
watch osted the second clerk to keep
an eye on him. He hid behind a smoke
stack and saw Sam alone in the pilot
| house, his hair on end, his face like a
c9rpse's, and his eyes sticking out so
far you could have knocked them of
with a stick. He danced around the
pIlot-house, turned up his nose like he
was smelling for polecat, pulled every
bell, turned the boats nose for the
bank, and yelled FIRE." like a Chero
kee Indisn on the war path. That yell
brought everybody on deck. We had q
big cargo of passengers. and the women
scrzeched, the men rushed for cork pill
lows, and the crew yanked the doors of
their hinges and rushed to the guards,
ready to go overheard at the first mod
Grafton Of weather. The skipper had
hard work to make the crazy pass sngerE
believe that there wasn't any IRE, bu
he brought them to reason faally.
paid no attention to Sans frantic yells