The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1875-06-05
NUMBER 99-s
Laughing Gas.

4 Laughing Gas.
Il A natural revolntionist- the earth.
4 The sun says, with a lisp, !" 1. tl.aw
i Something that ought to De put
Il dOwn-carpets. IS ss q
\ 8 HOrthogrammania,' is what tbeE
are calling the rage for spelling
Il matches. 2's7 s4's ss'ss< ssas.sss'ss. - =
Ma, when is griddle cake inhdb-
tied Why, my desls,. when there
is a little Indian in it.p sts.s !. Is SsgI; 1
Don't imagine that you were shexn
to reform the world. You can't split
amountain with q toothpick. s's'
/ 1t appears that eoining copper is
not profitable. The government has
not made a half cent since 1857. '4's'
| Mark Twain denies that his !" Gilded
Age was a failure. He says itlgiy6
a poor, worthy book binder q job, / IL
| DON'T locate your grandfather Gin
the front rank " in the Concord aud
Lexington fight. That was the one
| that retreated. .sf.s -
/ Is that clock right over there ~
asked q visitor the other day. !" Right
over there Z" said the boy, tain't
nowhere else" .3s 4.)sta5a
The latest addition to the .hanbfella
is a pane of glass, inserted in the front
breadth, through. which the holder
can see his way. 3.s;ts.ssg arr
The crocus put its. head ont from,
under the snow and said to its COM
panion, you lilac every thing il you
say this is spring." 'es
What is tile difference between the
Emperor Williams chronometer and
bill-pOster? Que! is Bills tickar aud
the other bill-sticker.
A bashful compositor refused to ac-
cept a situation il, IN office where girls
were employed, saying lie never set
mp with a girl in his life. sF''!s.'I
A man is said to be absent-minded
when he thinks he has left his watch
at home and takes itout OF his pocket
to see II he has time to return home
and get it. ''sa's sss ' -.s.s'
The greatest feat in eating ever re- 7
corded is tol9 of a;tman who com,
menced BY bolting door, after which
ne threw up . window, and Swallowed
a whole story.
A certain Western editor, whe vas
presented with a bog of cellars in pey
for an advertisement, ID waiting in
daily expectation that some one viii
present him with a shirt. .'sislsi
A Brown County editor bought Els
ink By the jug full, because he could
get it cheaper, but his sItwifo went,to
till the inkstand one morning. md
found it wasn't ink By jugfall. .,..,....,
No man has reached 90 high : .posi,s
ton on the New York Tribune stafE n
Thomas Weeks, who scaled it (257
feet) to adjust tile vane. Vain men
always spire to places they can, not
keep. s = III ssEi
The son Of a clergyman wns dolly.
eriDg o college yaledictory, when, in
pulling out his handkerchief, he pulled
out pack of cards. "Hulloa!n he
exclaimed, "rve got on my fathers
c0at!" .A - ltss3is3i
That was .shrewd method which
ap Iowa girl recently adopted to in
dnee all her friends to attend her we'd
ding. She didn't let them know up
to the last moment who the groom
was to be. Il nY.. iS,.ssatsf
It was an Irish Coroner who, when
asked how he accoupted for an ex-
traordinary mortality in .Limsrick,
replied sadly; 4 can not tell. There
are people dying this year that never
died before.n IN
A country editor can not be as bold
aud independent in his paper as his
city brother. lie l,as to collect his
own subscription, and almost every
body in the country keeps a dog
Danbary Neus.
Take life easy, and don't always be
trying to beat the SUN up, says an ex-
change. You may win for q while,
but in the long run you are sure to be,
beaten, and some morning it will riso
when you don't. as ,sft u
Yiscount de Losge1il has invesda
gated apothecaries' profits. He ears
that a bottle of seidlitz water, sold for
twenty-five cents, costs to make It
one cent and a half, and that other
profits generally are in this prepor-
ton. .e-s.
The Newport Rhode Island) Ne,ss
warns its friends outside the State
that we will not tamely snbmitto
irreyereIt remarks about onr size, far.
We are large enough to boast Of two
capitals and four candidates for Gov
ernor.s F.saE IS aGsL III
Augustus, dear,s said she, ten
der]y pushing him from her tass tl,e
moonlight flooded the bay wiudsw
where they were standing, :. ( think
ron had better frr sninn ether sl,aiv