Middletown transcript., 1875-02-20
lDarifties.

UartflteS.
When does an infant evince taste
for literary life when it takes
kindly to its squills.
A New Orleans paper advertises
some children who are now on the stage
in that city, and says that their youth
will lever" command applause. We
doubt that.
A Dutch dwarf is now being exhib-
tied in Paris who is scarcely three feet
high. He speaks five languages per-
fectly. and is the proprietor Of five
houses at The Hague.
Marble men now make small tomb
stones by the quantity with the epitaph
already cut: Didn't know it was load
ed" They leave blank for the name
and age.
It is only by labor that thought can
be made healthy, and only by thought
that labor can be made happy; and the
two cannot be separated with inpunity.
|-Ruszin.
In Montreal, the other day, Scot
tish girl positively refused to have the
ceremony performed, because the man
she was to marry was six minutes late
in arriving at the house.
Do not pride yourself upon your
wealth. for riches have wings; if there
is anything upon which you have
right to be proud. it is your good con-
duct and your readiness to extend it.
If anybody should heavs brick at
a man in Turkey nothing would be
thought Of it, but let fellow throw
stone at dog. and he'd be switched up
in three winks.
| Women charm. as a general thing,
in proportion as they are good. A plain
face with heart behind it, is worth a
world of beauty. Men who have tried
both uniformly agree to this.
Charles O'Connor is right in saying
that it is the duty Of householder to
shoot burglar at sight, but it is
great deal Of trouble to get up out Of
warm bed at midnight and kill man.
There is everything in getting an in
teresting head for sensational item.
The following original heading may be
found in Michigan paper: "Cuss you,
bring in that wood on subscription"
An attorney having died in poor cir
cumstances, one Of his friends observed
that he had left but few effects. .'That
is not much to be wondered at,' said
another, ''for he had but few causes
A very beautiful young woman visits
the Auburn State Prison regularly once
month. and wanders about comforting
the prisoners. Nobody knows from
whence she comes or whittier she goes.
But there is mother in Detroit who
will sit on the corner of bureau and
read dime novel half through before
she becomes aware that her baby has
been bowling for thirty-fve minutes.
An Iowa lady concludes an anti-suf-
frage letter as follows: "You may look
at this matter in whatever light you
will, but simmer it down and it is. but
a quarrel with the Almighty that We
are not all men,"
admit that it is mystery why any
man marries any woman and it is al
ways a mystery to the neghbors what
that man could see in that fright, or
that woman in that fool, to marry.
You are impressively beautiful" :"
was the remark Of an Albany youth to
a young lady who left the impress Of
her fnger-nails along his face for fail
ing to take her to a concert as he had
promised.
They are laughing at New Ipswich,
N. e., man who kept little of the ar
dent in milk can, and BY mistake re-
Gently filled it up with milk and sent
two gallons of mild milk punch TO a
Boston market
A witty Washington lady was intro
duced to foppish ysung fellow who
was afflicted with constant cough, and
after short conversation said to him
rather abruptly. "Are you not hack
man 2"
A niece of Ben Butler, who was mar
ried few days ago in Lowell. wore .
diamond necklace, an heirloom in the
family, says the St. Louis Times, "sinss
the Federal occupation Of New Or
leans"
He lives in Rhinebeck now-108
years Of age, threads needle At arms
length, slept with Noah when boy.
played marbles with Pharoah, and
turned grindstone for g. W. to shar-
pen his little cherry-cutter.
i A little girl, 4 years old, created q
ripple by remarking to the teacher Of
her Sundap School class: .'Our dogs
dead. I bet the angels was scared when