The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1875-09-08
MISCELLANY.

peOple tell the story OF Il mao VINO
called at the house OF u neighbor half
nmile from his own house early in the
morning, and after the usual saluta-
lion, seated himself on chair, and on
beiug asked to eat some breakfast, AN
swered: 81 don't suppose | ought TO
stop-for our house is on fire, and they
sent me to tell you"
A party of Congressman, passing
Mace where laborers were engaged
mon one of the public buildings, in
Washington, met Il team OF SIX or
rinht rishmen, drawing II large block
of stone. one of the NJ, CTS address
inc lie driver of this Hlbernian team,
said, swell, friends, you are making
yourselves horses, see" es,' was
the prompt rejoinder, "and, by the
powers, it's n mighty sight better than
making asses of ourselves, rs some OF
you dO!
A Dutchman was relating his mar
yelous escape from drowning when
Thirteen of his comrades were lost by
the upsetting of boat, and he alone
was saved. "Aud how did you escape
their fate?" asked one of his hearers.
oI lid not co in tie tam pote, was the
placid answer. This equals the Dutch
man who asked his friend, ''Do you
know why | call my boy Hansm "No,
do not. What is the reason"' "Pe-
cause dat ish his name"
A tailor possesses the qualities OF
nine men combined in one. AS an
economist, he always cuts his coat ac-
cording to his cloth. AS q gardener,
me is careful of his cabbage. AS san"
or, he shears Off whenever it Is proper.
As n play-actor, he often brandlshes Il
bare bodkin. AS lawyer, he attends
many suits. Az an eXecutloner, ne
supplies suspenders and gallows for
many persons. Az u cook, he is gem
erally furnished with II warm goose
AS sheriff, he does much sponglng,
Asa sectional and scrlptural divine,
his great aim is to form good habits
for himself
Two boys, of tender years, who went
by the names of Tom and Jack, be-
came members of district school IN
certain town. The teacher inquired
their names, ages, etc. "Well, my
lad, what is your name?" he asked one.
"Tom, npromptly answered the youngs-
ter wiomp' said the teacher, "that
does not sound we'll Remember al
WAYS to speak the full name. You
should have said Thomas. Now, my
SON. turning to the other boy whose
face suddenly lighted up with the sat
istaction of u newly discovered idea,
"wilI YOU tell me what your name 1877
"Jaclass,p replied the boy, in tone
If confident decision. The teacher
merely motioned the boys to sit down.
This good little boy was sitting ON
the front steps whiting up his sisters
embroidery frames, and muuerlng 10
himself: This aint no good worid 10
live in unless Teller is his 1athers
and mothers only orphan boy. What
makes me git so mad Is to nave my
sister 90 and take all my ripe peaches
TO give to that big loater OF sweet
heart of hers, that comes round here
seven nights in Il week to git square
meal and make out as if he wanted To
talk politics with the old man. ! WISH
they'd marry and go to Texas, do'
Andt he threw the remnants OF lhe
frames into the street andseemed light
er-hearted.- Il Atlanta Constitution
There il no lonelness-the C be
none--in all the waste or peopleu yes
erts OF this worm ueali an nnIoved
comparison WIN t NAV ,, u, nf her fam
wife. she SITS IN Vhe ,,i mus the marble
lily, living statue gd a,lion iSns tin with
memorials OF the u ,,.itf d ,mi, There
life, yet parRiyHeu Wi' . oo hittar md
is no misery on earIl, nn ,nInved but
hopeless than 5haI !r ol an vo "ti .olaces of
loving husband. me tii9o swe and bn lives
care and age nave ia',e ar,,, "u That death
only i'll the nope ol pow ~ hottar
brings, to make the union so. IN y, orrors Of
world compensation ioi '''0 vas
this.
Tho vounc man had been doing hom-
ora ~ y MIR of bright eyes, and talk
;Sg w things by moonlight. y
fnS ovanings Since he resolved to
w" eI his dpstinv secure. According
~ I he foil oil on his knees before the fair
4ulc;nia and made his passion known,
whon sbe refused him fiat. Jumping
To his feet. he informed her in divine