Litchfield enquirer., 1875-06-17
CLIPPINGS

SLbPPBWNS
 Paul Boynton does not walk upon the water. He lies.
 Spiritualism is said to be spreading ra- pidly in Russia.
 Italy is said to have in training 300 American prime dome.
 No person who chucks fruit peelings on the sidewalk ever became an angel-so far as heard from.
 Paper cofins only cost four dollars apiece.c This is almost enough to tempt oneto go.
 They say that Winnie Ream warbles like canary. She ought to sing we'll, there are twenty choirs in @ ream.
 There are so many appeals to the char itable that all truly good men are ex- changing thelr ready cash for United States securities.
 { sIdiotl" exclaimed lady recently, con- ing out of the theater, as gentleman ac- cidentally stepped on her trailing skirt. (Which one of us?'' blandly responded the man.
 Boston boasts a revival of its patriotism as exemplified in the fact that last month, for the first time in many years, more na- tives than foreigners were committed to the city prison.
 \ Cleveland young man las a scrap book containing the marriage noticesS of all the women he has loved, and he sits ont in the moonlight and reads 1t and cries.
 When reporter stands three hours watching two painters at work on a scaf- fold, and waiting for the rope to break, it may, indeed be called active journalism. A Columbia professor, reproving youth for the exercise of his fists, said, "We fight with our heads here" The youth considered and replied that putting wasn't considered fair at his last school.
 The postofices are complaining of the great number of boxes of grasshoppers that Western sufferers are sending east through the mails. Thus far, however, not postmaster has been lost
 ''Georgy," said benevolent old gentle man to youthful son of family he was visiting, "what are you going to do when you become a man?"
 'Whale Joe Perkins" was the prompt but sanguinary reply.-Dan. NesOs.
 'sNow where's my summer pants?" yells the impatient husband. after fruitless hunt from cellar to attic; and his wife timidly points to 8 par of china Samuels on the mantle piece and meekly murmurs "they were so cheap"
 When dog bites Tennessee man the man can recover one dollar damages from the owner, but the poor dog never recov- ers-which is doubtless owing to the in- feriOr quality of whiskey imbibed by the man. And this is called justice in Ten nessee.
 Some people seem born to ill-luck. One of our citizens, belng told that the de- vastating grasshoppers were coming east, despairingly eiaculated; X
 An chaw up all the grass I 'spose, an 1 just got croquet set. That's just my cussed luck every time.-Dan. NeaUs.
 ''Ah P said teacher, s'ah, Caroline Jones, what do you think you would have been without your good father and pious MOtherY 'I suppose num-" said Caro- line, who was very much struck with the soft appeal, "I suppose, mum, as should ha' been horphan."
 If tramp who went out of town through Thomas street, Saturday morning, with a small but perseverlng dog attached to his garments, will call at the house of the gen. tlenian who owns the dog, he may recover his hat and hear some good advice to his advantage. The dog will be tied up.- Rome Sentinel
 little, old, dried up man, dressed in an ancient hat, rusty broadcloth clothes and a black satin vest, over which was strung his daughters gold watcn-chain stepped up to the window of the ticket office before sunrise the other morning. rapped loudly on the sill and shouted: "Gi me a ticket fur Layporte, backards and forrerds." He got it.
 The Letter of the Law.-Neryous old lady-Oh, policeman! policeman there's strange dog that will stick to me. and won't leave me, and can't get rid of himi couldn't you take him in charge, or some thing? Policeman (who doesn't like the lob)-Verry sorry, ma am, but we can't interfere with any dog so long as he's follerin' O somebody
 - Unselfsh Reasons. tlanon;sb. inglyb-I feel as if could sit here for ever, so long as you were with me. An. gelina-And so could I, love, if those nasty, odious people wouldn't get in the way and prevent us seeing the race. Their seltish ways quite annoy me Besides. h1 don't bet gloves. I shall have to buy some, as I'm right out of them-so come along. -.
 THE MATTER WITH OUR Mu1r1A.-At the muster of the Fourth Regiment in Litcb- flsld, the other day, an old party who wit messed the parade, and was rather disgust. cd with the order and quiet, let out on the subject as follows:
 "This aint as it used to be in my time. There ain't the fun and crowd. I tell ye what's killed your melishee-its them 'ar temperance laws-that's what's done it." -Dan. Ncws. -
 An incident in a new play is onoted .s very French in it's morality. A Gentlemen IS Tn love with an actress. He calls on the manager of the theatre he pleads his love for an introduction. The lady:s name is Marlette. But" says the manager. ssI saw you with lady in your box last nlght--a charming woman, my friend. a lovely woman, to whom you paid much attention" ''That was my wife. ." respond. cd the lover, indignantly. "Do you think l would be untrue to Mariette ?'
 At late ball in Paris, a very stout gen. tleman, proprietor of bad cafarrh and Q very charming wife, insisted, very inoon. veniently. at the close of waltz, that mad. anne should return to the bosom of her family. Never mind" she said to her partner "ask me to dance in the next quadrille all the same I will find way to stay for il" Slipping out while the sets were forming, she went into the gentle mems dressing-reom. found her husband' 's nat.and threw it out of the window. Then ret1rning, requesting her spouse first to naa ms nat and call carriage, she accept found. s''e nat cou'd pe