The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-11-26
FACTS AND FANcIEs.

chase. II there's two cents change COM
ing TO him he wants IL.
There never was but one woman who
didn't believe that her husband would
take n second wife IL she died, and that
woman got killed On the cars.
Another brilliant wedding" Tbs
Young man with flower on his coat 10
TO marry the young woman with the
habit of saying "The ide-yah."
A Pennsylvania named Wingert cut
his toe off because of an aching corn, and
then hung himself because Of the aching
of the amputated toe.
Patti has so many diamonds that II
takes one man constantly 70 watch them,
either at home or abroad, and double
care is taken while travelling.
The price of squaws has declined on
he approach of winter. One can now
be purchased for seven dollars in cash
end pound Of powder.
The New York Herald will have its
Stanley letter about once in 50 often even
If some one in the Office has 10 consult n
map Of Africa and write it.
Politics is the same all over The
man who runs for constable is just "a
soundly abused by the papers as the man
who runs for congress.
-"what does Good Friday meant"
asked one schoOlboy Of another. You
had better 60 home and read your Rob
inson Crusoe," was the withering reply.
"A lawsuit between Chicago minstrel
managers shows that the foremost per
formers arc paid from 800 70 $3.50
week, besides travelling expenses.
An Omaha manis in Sc. Louis with q
steam chicken-hatcher. Three weeks are
required TO bring out the chickens, and
il takes gallon and half Of coal oil TO
produce $50 of the little orphans.
The large man in the black hat who
goes into Offices and asks for pencil and
Slip Of paper TO write few words, and
then barries of the pencil-he will never
go TO heaven.
Sergeant Bates is alone and penniless
in Canadian city, and Canadians never
give anybody anything The whirligig
is about TO get in It's work.
The Princess Frederick, daughter Of
the ex-King Of Hanover, is said 10 be-
without doubt the most beautiful prin-
cess in Europe. She is the devoted COM
panion of her blind father.
"A Dutch assessor says IL ispOsitiycly
amusing how cheap property becomes a.
he passes up or down a street. lt falls
seventy per cent. whenever he enters a
house.
If your horses have the epizoot, dis-
| solve a teaspOonful Of crystal ChlOrate OF
potash in a bucket of water, this amount
making a morning dose for four horses
The Rev. Henry Mortou's sermon on
q" Seventeen Reasons Why Men Don't Go
10 Church is likencd by wise people 10
that famous gong with 400 verses. Tho
first reason why men don't go TO church
is because they don't want 10, and the
seventeenth reason is the same.
Various American artists who have
been living and working abroad during
the past ten years have returned home
convinced that American cities afford
better market for their work than all
| Europe.
| THE cruelcst joke that happened this year
| Was that of the cheeky passenger
/ Who passed u counterfeit shinpasteor
| On an innocent h0rsc-car couductcor,
| And then slipped out Of the ear at the rear
/ And round the corner waltzed OF ON his ear.
The st. Louis Times revives dear
old memories by remarking: There arc
young men who cannot hold skein OF
| yarn for their mothers without wincing,
| but will hold one hundred and twenty
| five pounds Of neighbOring family for
| the best part Of the night with patience
and dociity that are certainly pho
nomenal."
Tho late eccentric Marquis Of Water
| ford offered railroad company $4,000
if they would allow him 10 witness tho
exciting spectacle of two engines dashing
into one another at full speed from op-
posite directions on the same line; but
the company could not see the matter IN
a sporting light and the offer was res
pectfully declined.
Edwin Booth has discovered some
thing new during his confinement from
| his broken arm which he will Introduce
into his next impersOnatiOn OF Hamlet
IL is that in Hamlet's time no such thing
rs velvet was known, and Hamlet's dress
on Booth hereafter will be stripped Of
velvet.
An old ship with history is 10 bo
raised from the Sacramento river, where
she has lain for some fifty years. This Is
the bark Globe, 293 tons, that sailed on
a whaling cruise from Nantucket 10 the
Pacific in December, 1922. Her crew
mutinied and murdered Capt Worth and
his officers in 1924, then fled 10 the Null
grave Islands, but the vessel was recov-
cred and the mutineers taken back -
Nantucket and hanged.
"A young gentleman lately attended
the circus for the first time, and on the
Sunday following WAS taken by his grand
mother TO church. He gazed around in
some wonderment for n few moments.
When the organist began 20 play he
turned 10 his grandmother and said
"Grandma, will there be a circus, 40
can see liOnT "Why, no, Eddie, this
is church" "Well," replied the little
fellow, 4" its circus music, anyway"
"A young fellow entered church and
took his seat, keeping his hat ON. An
elder noticing IL requested him 10 take IL
off. His request not being complied with
he spoke 10 the young man a second time,
and seeing he still hesitated, the elder
gently lifted the hat of, when, 20 his
chagrin, out rolled a quart of hickory
nuts, making more noise than was con
sistent with decOrum. Man" quietly
said the youth, ." sec what you have
DONE"
There are some peculiar facts con-
corning the distribution Of the nightin-
gale in Europe. II is found as far north
as Sweden and as far west as Spain and
Portugal, and yet il never visits Scot
land, Ireland or Wales. From the bound
aries limiting its habitat in England, IL
appears that the bird is restricted 10 those
portions of the country which are covered
with secondary or tertiary geological
formations. Hence il may be inferred
that the insects on which IL lives do not
obtain means Of subsistence where tho
primary soil prevails.
THE "STONEWALL" BRIGADE.