The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1875-12-16
FACTS AND FANCIES.

because it cant get velvet blanket for
a poodle dog, who of us are safe for 4
single day?
An Englishman ate up his money on
his dcath-bcd so that his friends couldn't
get it, but Ia didn't they post mortem
him mighty quick!
A German street fruit dealer re-
bukcd a young clerk who took single
peanut from his stand, the other day, by
saying: "Young fellcr, we don'd sell
dose py de piece any morc!"
The softer sex has reason to feel en-
couragcd. The last census showed the
number Of idiots proper in the United
States to be 2i,527, of whom i,iS5 were
males and l0,Ol2 females.
One hundred and ten claims at one
sitting called an Oswego man grave
wards, 1t is not safe to dcvour over one
hundred and eight of one hundred and
nine without resting a bit.
In this life we can not get higher
than to be assured of that which in the
next is to he enjoyed. All saints shall
enjoy Il heaven when they leave this
earth; some saints enjoy heaven while
they are here on earth.-JoSph Cd,yL
A lady applying for admission to
the Junior class of an eastern seminary.
being questioned by the president as to
her qualifications, replied: Il amt
much of an arithmeticker but am an
elegant grammarist."
A Sacramento lady who sprouts an
artificial tooth lett it on the table of th1
restaurant where she had taken breakfast
the other morning, and ON returning Tor
il about an hour aitcrward found it at
tached as a charm to the fob-chain Of
the waiter.
No matter how Indifferent the rest
of the world may prove to your COM
mings, how careless of whether you re-
main away or come back, there is one
person who will witness your departure
with anxious heart, one pair of eyes that
will grow brighter when you return.
You know her, young man. 1t is your
washwoman. BHrRSwick Ne~S.
Bridges seldom outlivc their piers.
"A man who sells himself chcaply is
apt to feel cheap.--John MorrlSscy
strikes his opponents as being a very
strong man.-A commercial firm goes
up when its business goes dOwn.--A
fashionable hop is an entertainment re-
markable for tOedyism. m.---lfcourtship is
bliss it does not follow that matrimony
Frequently, after having taken un-
usual pains in collecting flower seeds, the
amateur florist finds them destroyed by
mice. BY placing bits of camphor-gl'm
with the seeds they may be preserved,
as mice dislike the odor, and will not
disturb books, clothing, or indeed any
thing which may he impregnatcd with
this substance Western Rurai.
A Youthful clergyman who recently
went forth to cnlighten the ignorant,
while dealing with the parable OF the
prodigal son, was anxious to show how
dearly the parent loved his child. Draw
ing himself together, and putting on his
most sober looks,hc dilatcd at length upon
the killing of the fattcd calf. The eli
max were AS follows: II shouldn't
wonder if the father had kept that calf
for years, awaiting the return OF his son.
The following code to the Prairie
Wine" appears in the Burlington Hawk
eve as original, but it reads amazingly
like joaquin Miller: ooh, the BLIZZARD,
the beautiful BLIZZARD; freezing fellow
from car-top to lizard; making his face a5
blue rs wizard chilling the Iiic-blood
that flows from his sgizzard; blowing, snow
ing cold as lizard ; get up and get out
of this, beautiful BLIZZARD" ."
A little fellow who was at neigh
bor's house about noon the other day
watched the preparations for dinner
with great deal of interest, hut when
asked 10 stay and eat something, he
promptly refused. "Why, yes, johnny,
voud better stay" said the lady; "why
can't YOU? ?" "Wcll, cause" said the
little fellow, "ma said ! mustn't unlcNi
YOU ask me three times They invited
him twice more right off.
JUDGE Nor
.Judrr not the working ri his brain,
And of his heart thou cans't not sce.
| What looks to thy dim eye STAN
In Gods pure light may only be ,..,
| A scar. brought from some wclliollght hcid,
Where thou would only faint and yield
The look, the air, that trcts thy sight
Nav he token that below
The soul has closed in deadly hight
With some internal fiery Toe,
Whose glance would scorch thy smiling grace
And cast thee Shuddcring on thy face.
The Young man who wants to know
if il is improper for him to offer young
lady his arm when walking with her, Is
informed that it is not at all improper
But it would be the height OF imPolite,,
ness to offer her your foot, or cneW 9'
tobacco, or rum punch, or dried coz
| fish, or a baby's cradle, or another gn, rs ;
likeness. We beg of you NOT 10 W "Iy
of those things as you might '''io"'''
, offend her. e, q,
Henry Watterson gives this decided
on;rinn Of the girls of the period: The
,,lrI of the period is at once the groSSeSt
and most transparent of hypocrltes. She
has the French coquetry without tht
French delicacy; she has the Engllsl
coarseness of manner without the Eng
| lish solidity of mind; she has all tn
aippant foliies of Latin belle wlthou
her cndearing blanishments and sym
pathetic impulse. She flouts out on I'M
street with her pin-back and paper colnil
ready for adventure and somewhat reen :''
, loss os consequences. having a strong lii
| ward conviction that II ths IT, P,U ,l'
/ proves less plcasingor proliilp' VI" ., al,
u early indications Promi.@u; s ~ s,s.,,