Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-03-19


Gleaninss.
The Grangers trump Spades.
True to the last-a shoemaker.
The worlds golden rule-get and for
get.
Always striking for wages black
smith.
How to make a slow horse fast-tie him
to a post.
Moving for a new trial-courting sec
ond wife.
Leather, chemically considered, is the
ox-hide of beef.
That which always grows bigger as fast
as you contract it-Debt
If there is a place for everything"
where is the place for boil.
The man who challenges comparison
has TO fight against fearful odds.
When COW becomes landed property
when she is turned into Il field.
The dearest object to a man should he
his wife; but it is not infrequently her
clothes
Is person who sits in the gallery Of
the church responsible for deeds done in
the body:
We read of brave militia general who
never drew sword but once, and then it
was in rattle
Union is not always strength, as Jack
said, when he say the purser mixing his
rum with water
Speaking of becoming attire, what thing
is most likely TO become woman: Why,
a little girl, of course.
Have patience awhile; ISLANDERS are not
long lived. Truth is the child of Time;
ere long she shall appear to vindicate
thee.
his want and infirmaties, and who, in all
the privation he endures, is still submis-
sive to the will of God
A Kentucky paper speaks of man
who had narrow escape from sun
stroke, he having stood only two feet from
the man who was struck.
The song of the Washington youth
Il want to be lobby man and in the lob
by stand, with brass upon my forehead
and greenbacks in my hand"
Never set your feet in dirty and crook
ed path for the love of money 1t is a
work that will bring bad interest if YOU
wish to suck honey of thistles
MY dear DOCTOR" said an Irishman,
Its no use your giving me an emetic. l
tried it twice il Dublin, and it would not
stay on MY stomach five minutes
Pity with its crystal drops is sweetening
many cup of life. And in return many
Il grateful heart is laying OH the palm
of pity the choicest gems of gratitude.
'Tis naught when woman humbugs man.
For that's the good old style;
But, oh. mans confidence in man.
Makes countless thousands smile
4 woman at Titfin, Ohio, fell and broke
her arm, but she refused two offers of as
sistance because the mes were strangers
to her and there was not one around to
introduce them.
Josh Billings says The man who
kant find nothing to do iz generally
mighty fraid he will A lazy man never
ought to set up for q raskill raskallity il
bizzy Dizziness"
We suppose that what most grieved the
young lady who represented Katie King
in Philadelphia. was the fact that she WAS
popularly supposed TO be more than two
hundred years old.
1t is one of heavens blessings that We
cannot foreknow the hour of our death;
for time fixed, even beyond the possibil-
ity of living, would trouble US more than
| doth this uncertainty.
The gossips write that Fred Grant his
improved in looks since his marriage
When u man is addicted to putting on
frills there's nothing so beneficial as the
existence Of wife's mamma.
When a devoted wife holds her husband
out at arms length hy his sore ear AMI
says that she wouldn't crush worm. he
realizes all at once how fearfully and
wonderfully women are made.
II Gray-Pack with my box five doz-
en- quills." There is nothing remarkable
about this sentence, only that it is nearly
as short AS one can ie constructed, anu
yet it contains the whole alphabet.
The best thing to give your enemy is
forgiveness; to your opponent, tolerance:
! to ~ friend, your heart; to your child, i;
good example; to your father, lef.raace,
to your mother, conduct that will make
her proud Of you; TO yourself. respect; to
all men, charity.
A person in need once APPLIED to a
wealthy citizen for help, and received the
small sum of five cents. The giver re-
marked, as he handed over the pittance:
Take it; YOU are welcome. Our ears are
always open to the calls of the distressed
"rhat may be- replied tie recipient.
but never before in my life have l
seen so small an opening for such large
ears"
The latest chrome story comes from
down East, where aSunday-schoOl teacher
said to one OF her pupils: johnnie, why
don't you invite your friend Billy to come
to Sabbath school with you." Johnnie
looked up with a grin full of intention.
and equally full of teeth. and said: II
know yer, teacher; yer want TO get Billy
inter the class, SOS yer can get chrome
for new scholar"
Little Tommy didn't disobcy mamma
and 60 in swimming did hey mo. mann
ma. Jimmy Brown and the rest Of the
boys went in; but remembered what
you said and didn't dis0bcy youy" And
Tommy never tells lies. docs hey" mo.
mamma. wouldn't tell a lie for MI the
world" "rhen how does Tommy hap
pen 70 have HE ahiRs on wrong side outs"
Ill did il climbine over The fehoe. !
suess."