Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1875-07-10
ErOsiburg. July 10. 1878.
SUNBEAMS.

The bored of education children who
hate school.
New Bedford has but one whaler left-a
schoolmr -'..-
'Idiot I" exclaimed a lady coming ont OF
the theatre one evening. rs gentleman
accidcntly stepped on her trailing skirt.
(Which one of rs ?" blandly replied the
man.
my lecture" said California orator,
"will be brief" turnip hit him at that
instant. and he announced the meeting
stands adjoulncd!'
dearest. will you accept my hand ~
said he. 81 prefer to play my own, and
draw to a good pair" said she. Schenck
did it. with his little pamphlet.
With pair Of top boots and an Ulster
ovcrcoat, a man needs no other clothing.
A little care is necessary at first to keep
the coat buttoncd up.
Congressional Prorc2dings "Mr Morton
addressed the Senate at length in favor of
seating Mr.. Pinchback on his credentials"
Seating him on his what
First Boy say, Jimmy. there's nc
water. It's frozen everywhere Second
Boy-"Bully Maybe we wont have to
wash ourselves till the middle of Spring -
A Mr.. Chew was recently arrested in
Philadelphia, having three living wives
from which he has never been united
Each wife had Il Chcw-to- Lack-her See:
Some Of the colored folks Of Cleveland
thought civil rights meant free rides on
the street ours, and they he'd to be stood
on their heads and argued with.
Miss D. sends us q poem entitled, a
Cannot Make Him smile We cannot
publish it unless she gives us the name of
the young man. All the young men we
know smile
A CORE spondent of the Baltimore Sm has
found in Florida young girl named
Neuralgia. She was chrlstenei after a
bottle of patent medicine which her mother
esteemed.
"Thrce and .sixpence pr gal" ex-
claimed Mrs. Darlington, looking over the
Price Current. "Why, bless me, what is
world a coming to when gals are valued at
only three and sixpence?'
Patient, to doctors after consultation -
"Tcll me the worst gentlemen; am | go
ing to die % doctors -"We are divided on
that question, sir; but there is Il ma jority
of one that YOU will live.
Young lady - Are you good runner,
Mr.. Dullboy? Mr. Dullboy not
very trstrltc. | was ono. in mile race,
and they gave me thrcc-qurter5 of the
distance start. but law did not win.
A secly-looking individual was heard to
say to Il friend: My dear fellow. can't
YOU lend mca black wcskit for a short time !:
My aunt Betsy died Il few days ago, and |
want to take a short mourn
More happy by far is the man with catarrh
Than the one who is perfectly we'll;
He is one of those who are saved by the
From many 4 horrid smell.
Julius, why didn't You oblong your
stay at the Sprin ts?'' "ktse. Mr.. Snow,
dcy charge too much GLOW so, Julius p
"Wy de landlord charged dis colored in
dividual wild stealing de spoons
The electric telegraph "Wifc, | don t
Sec for my part l"" they send letters on
them, ere wires without tcarin' en- all to
bits" "La me, they don't send the pa
per; they Just send the writing in fluid
state
wv mere y Inc llIbiiSStS, lb!Ii SAM a
rcd-haircd woman sharply to her son. who
had returned with an empty jug. "Nonc
in the city, mother. Every grocery has a
large board outside, with letters chalkcd
on it, N. O. Molasses.
"Now, there's a finished gentleman for
you," said fireman, us he gazed upon
the pieces of the engineer that had been
scraped up and gathered to his fathers
after the last attempt to run train on
nothing.
Colorado item "Lataly "A mountain
lion made q raid on q ranlhman's house in
Left Hand Canon. He tore the family dog
to pieces He pulled the fddle-strings
out of the family cat. He finally succum-
bed, however, to the family rifle
A paper in Southern Illinois regrets that
it went to press "onc day too early to re-
cord the death of John Bates This is
not quite as cool as the paper which said
Just as we are going to press John Smith
is being run over by the cars
A man at the Bergen tunnel the other
morning hailed fellow lnborcr with, 80
we've got Il baby at yer house, what is it: a
bow "No." "Weu then it's gyurl."
rulul, SdlNl tIlC N''' AssN'''I, sunny
bodys ben telling ye.
At the trial of one Putnam, at Virginia
City, for leading an idle and dissolutc life
District Attorney Campbell defined a bum
mcras am "aggr gated, concatonlted, con-
glomerated. segregated. contaminated,
id loafer." This decided the jury at
once, and they found Putnam guilty.
An Indian came to certain agent III
the Northern part of Iowa to procure some
whiskcy for younger warrior who had
been bitten by a rattlesnake. "Four Iuarts."
replied the agent, with surprise; "ts much
rs that ?" YES" replied the Indian,
"four quarts-snakc very big
An old ladyln Lockport recently achieved
eminencc by carrying quart of popped
corn To A. donation marty and nrtiu,r t,vo