The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-12-16
Wit and HulneY.

A MAN should keep on good terms
with himself, and never get mad at
fool.
"SoCIETY " is an exchange where vain
people meet and dupe themselves and
each other.
One of the arrested dealers In crooked
whisky is Mr.. Amenn. The petition
should end there.
WHEN man says he is glad to see you,
ask him if he means it. There may be
chance that he does not.
A REALISTIC poet with a bad cold
SEXES his Tyre and sings:
He pressed his face against the pane;
Ut the Christmas Eve},
moisture gathered in his nose
He wiped it with his sleeve.
''MRs. HENRY" said John to his wife,
the other morning, IF you give me
Christmas present this year, please ar
range it so that the bill won't come in
till next month. It's just as well to keep
up the illusion for short time"
IT is very gratifying to come to a con
clusion logically; as, for instance, that
of an old writer: I" B. says all Britons
are liars. Now, he himself was Briton,
therefore he was liar-therefore the
Britons are not hars-therefore 3. has
not iecl-therefore the Britons are
liars.
RECENTLY discovered manuscripts re-
veal the fact that the name of the mount
upon which Noah's ark rested was de-
rived from a casual remark which cat
made when it looked ou6 of the ark and
saw something sticking out of the water,
to-wit: SIS that 'ele a rat !"-Detroit
Ne2Oe.
A DARKEY who was STOPPING to wash
his hands in a creek, didn't notice the
peculiar actions of goat just behind
him, so when he scrambled out OF the
water, and was asked how it happened,
he answered: 81 dunno 'zactly, but
'peared as if Gle shore kinder h listed and
frowed me-.
A sMART-1ooKING boy about twelve
years old called into Detroit book store
aud said his mother wanted some cards.
The clerk supposed he meant playing
cards, and accordingly wrapped up
pack. The boy came back in the course
of an hour, flung the cards down, and
said: " Mother don't want that kind
she got I'VE or SIX E,eolza in +hn -hn1so
now. She wants some with marked
backs, SO she can deal lone hands and
warp it to dad ''-Detro6t Free Press.
He was strolling around town while
the boat was taking on freight, and,
coming to where four or five men sat
under an awning, he held out his hand
to each in turn and remarked, "Shake,
stranger. Although I've stood where
shot fell around me like rain-drops In
shower, [ want reconciliation now-gen-
uine peace" "Ah! what battles were
you in2" asked one of the men. 81
wasn't in any, mister the stranger So
berly replied; cit was in the shot-tower
at St. Louis the shot came SO fast. "
And the crowd went over after soda
water. Wcks6atTg Herald.
CHRISTMAS BILLS.
Oh ! the bills, Christmas bins,
What world of misery
Their memory instllls
AS the merchants with their quilts
Stuck behind their ears polite
So caressingly invite
Your kind and prompt attention
To their bills.
How they dun dun dun.
AS they kindly urge upon
Your earnest attention their blessed little bills,
Little bills
With power of perforation,
And man that never fills,
What sad Discrimination
To call them little bills!
While all the tin that tinkles
In your pocket, only sprinkles
A little liquidation on the bills.
O! the destiny that fills
all our holidays with bills,
When the Christmas dinner
Of the poor indebted sinner,
Might be cooked with the fuel of his bills
Oh the bills, bills, bills,
Nothing else but bills