The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-12-30

How A Man GETS Cp WHEN IT, COLD
This is the season o.. c..a ,oal ,,lau ...> !."bh
gets up before the rest Of humanity. You are
coed up in bed half asleep, thinking that you
are setting on a rainbow and lettering over a
cloud, while a lot of angels are brushing away
the flies with a feather buster, and lot more
are feeding you with tafiec from long han
died spoon out Of big gold dish, when sud
denly you hear voice shoot up the stairs, and
strike the door, and carrom on your ear. and it
SAYS Hello, there, it, time to get up; boost
out Of bed there lively" And YOU Slip off
from the rainbow, and the angels disappear
with the buster and tance and YOU become
aware that you are simply piece of humanity,
who cannot vote until YOU are twenty-one, and
cant 90 home with a girl unless She is willing.
And then YOU uncoil leg and let il Slide down
between the sheets, which tpe ike a couple Of
ice cakes, and you draw it up again ard send
out the other one to reconmoiire, and that one
comes back Immediately and reports that the
mercury is falling. Then YOU turn down the
bed clothes little, and the cold air strikes into
you and YOU pull them NJ over Your head, and
mentally vow that YOU wont get up till fourth
Of July. Just rs You have made that resolve
4 masculine voice helrhe> up through the stair
case this qulestion-'' IRE YOU up VET and YOU
promptly answer yes" ana are confident at
the same time that the only way 10 Get YOU out
of bed is to hire 4 steam derrick. In the mean
time you are fully awakened and realize that
you must get up, and closing both eyes YOU
jump out Of bed, stepping on The ulturcd >ole
of a boot As YOU Land, which makes YOUR toes
crack like toIpedoes and causes YOU to dance
round on one foot while you hold the other in
Your hand and howl. In every well appointed
family it is customary to wash the face and
hands Immediately after rising. What il a
pleasure i'll july assumes a different loOk i'll
December, but there is no lo>tpouGmenI on
account OF weather, 50 YOU proceed to the wash
stand, and while washing are obliged to stand
Oh piece OF oil cloth, and it is at that time
tat you hope you will die before YOU are 50
ears old. You turn out a basin OF water and
lip in one hand, and instnctivcly feel round
the dish for an icice; not finding one YOU take
long look at the bowl and finding no way to
cyade the job, scoop up a couple Of handslul
of water ana bury Your face in it, while the
chills run down your back and the goose flesh
stands on your legs like the measles on Il small
boy. A very ha>ty bath satisfies your coli
science. and You sling the towel round YOUR
head in very lively manner and then proceed
to dress. There is few things Of its size that Is
as cold rs It shirt that has been hanging over Il
chair all night. The amount Of cold that 4 shirt
will absorb will always be i wonder to the
people Of this country; and a. You slip il down
over Your head you think THAT You are standing
under 4 snow slide, and have lent your clothes
to somebody once into the Shirt YOU are half
dressed although you generally lind kinIl in
one Of your trousers legs which takes YOU
some time 10 straghtcn out Without waiting
for further preparation you seize the Wastband
of your pants with one hand, and clutching the
balance Of Your clothes in The other, You make
your appearance IN the dining ROOM and select
ING a spot near tile stove you drop your clothes
on the floor and proceed to dro>~ a> Iei9rtrcIy
as though YOU had barrels Of time, while the
balance Of the family sit round patiently await
ing your movements, occasionally Sticking
remark into the conversation which reflects
somewhat on YOUR speed. At last You are
ready and the world again begins to Jog along,
and does not stop again till tie next morning,
when the same programme is repeated; and as
we only have about q month in the year when
Il man can get up without SHY ering that his
teeth drop out, it makes us wonder why VIC do
not die like flies on the approach ofcold weather.