The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-09-29
out glancing at it. I"

"Your-your what?' she asked.
MADAM" he replied as he placed a
four-ounce phial of dark liquid on the
palm Of his left hand. madam, desire
to call your attention to my Sunset Bed
bug Exterminator. 1t has been tried at
home and abroad, and in no case has it
failed To-"
"What do you mean sir2" she deman>
ded, getting very red IN the face.
Leave the house instantly"
Madam, do not wish youto infer
from my"
81 want you to leave this house, she
shrieked.
Madam allow me to explain my"
Il will call the politely she screamed
making for the door. and he hastily
locked his trunk and hurried out
Gowing down the street about two
blocks lie saw the lady Of the house at
the parlor window, and instead OF climb.
ing the steps he stood under the window
and politely said:
Madam, don't wish to even hint that
any of the bed-steads in your house are
inhabited by bed-bngs, but"
"Whal What's that2' she exclaimed
Il said that hadn't the remotest idea
that any Of the bed-steads in your house
were infested by bed-bugs," he replied.
Take yourself out of this yard!''
she shouted. snatching a tidy off the
back Of chair AMI brandishing it at
him.
Reg pardon, madam, bnt I should
like to call your -"
Get out!' she screamed; get Out,
or I'll call the gardener!
II will get out, madam, but 1 wish
you understood"
"J-a-w-nl J-a-w-n!" she shouted
out OF a side window, but the extermi-
nator agent was out Of the yard before
John could get around the house.
He seemed discouraged as he walked
down the street, but he had travled
less than block when he saw a stout
woman sitting on the front steps OF
fine residence, tanning herself
"Stout women are always good>na>
tured,' he soliloquized as he opened
the gate.
Haven't got anything for the grass
hopper sufferers" she called ont as he
entered.
There was an angelic smile on his
face as he approached the steps set his
trunk down and said:
my mission, madam, is even nobler
than acting agent for a distressed
community. The grasshopper sufferers
do not comprise a one-hundredth part
of the worlds population. while my
mission is to relieve the whole world.
81 don't want any peppermint es-
sence." she continued as he started to
unlock the trunk. .
Great heavens, madam, do l resem-
BILE peddler OF cheap essences?" he ex-
claimed. 81 am not one. am here
in Detroit to enhance the comforts Of
the night-to produce pleasant dreams.
Let me call your attention to my Su n
set Bed-bug Ex,erminator, a liquid war
ranted to"
BED what' she screamed, ceasing to
fan her fat cheeks.
"My Sunset Bed-bug Exterminator.
1t is to-day in use in the humble negro
cabins on the banks OF the Arkansaw,
as well as in the royal palace Of her
Majesty @"
"You rr-rascal villyun!" she wheezej;
chow dare you insult me in"
mo insult. madam, it is a pure mat
ter Of"
"L>eave! Git o-w-tI' she screamed,
clutching at his hair, and be had to go
on; in such hurry that he couldn't
lock the trunk until he reached the
walk.
He Travelled several blocks and turned
several corners before he halted again,
and his smile faded away to a melan-
choly grin. He saw two or three ragged
children at a gate noticed that the house
was old. and he braced up and entered
81 WANTS no zoap," said the woman
Of the house as he stood in the door.
Soap, madam, soap? l have no
soap I noticed that you lived in an
old house. and as old houses are pretty
apt TO be infested"
81 WANTS no bins or needles today
she shouted.
Madam. am not psdilcr of Yam.
kee notions" he replied. II am SELL
ing liquid, prepared only by myself
which Is warranted To-
II WANTS no baper gollersT' she ex-
claimed, motioning him to leave.
Paper collars! have often been
mistaken for Shakespeare. madam. but
never before for paper collar peddler.
Let me unlock my trunk and show
IL WANTS no matches-no dobacco-
no zigars" she interrupted; and her
husband came around the corner and
after cycling the agent for a moment
remarked;