davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-06-10

.BoxING THE EARS The drum of the
ear is as thin as thin paper, and is
stretched like curtain between the, air
outside and that within and thus, hav-
ing to support it, and being extremely
delicate, slap with the hand on the side
of the face, made with the force which
sudden and violent anger gives it, has in
multitudes Iof cases ruptured this deli
cate membrane, resulting in the affection
of deafness for life. AS the right hand
is almost always used, it is the left ear
which is stricken this aids in account
ing for the fact that the left ear is more
frequently affected with deafness than
the right.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-06-10
SOMEBODY'S LOVERS.
By ALIcE CARY.

Too meek by half was he who came
A-wooing me one morn.
For he thought so little of himself
learned to share his scorn.
At night had sutton, vain
As the vainest in the land;
Almost he seemed to condescend
In the offer of his hand.
In one who pressed his suit, missed
Courage and manly pride;
And how could think of such a one
AS leader and guide?s
And then there came worshipper,
With such undoubting trust,
That when he knelt he seemed not worth
Upraising from the dust.
The next was neverin the wrong,
Was not too smooth nor rough:
So faultless and so good was he,
That that was fault enough.
But one, the last of all who came.
I know not how to paint;
. No angel do seem to him
He scarcely calls me saint!
He hath such sins and weaknesses
As mortal man befan
He hath thousand faults, and yet
love him with them ALL
he never asked me yea nor nay,
Nor knelt to me one hour;
But he took my heart and holds my heart
With lovers tender power.
And / bow, as needs must, and say,
In proud humility,
Loves might is right, and yield at last
To manhood's royalty.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-06-10
Wit and HumOr.

HOSTILE furniture Armed chairs.
Music by handle-A street organ.
WILL music bars need a license?
A SWEET hapter-Jennysis.
WAYS that are dark Unlighted streets.
WHO is the greatest terrifer? Echo
answers h4e.
TITLE for fve-cent savings bank
The ST. Nickel-us.
A DYING miser in New York said to his
weeping family: "My friends, what
troubles me most is that ] am forced to
give back my soul to God.
SAMSON pulled down house by hug
cling a couple of pillars, but he knew
that in the pillars was the place to find
all the down he wanted
It is the sagacious remark of keen
observer that you can generally tell a
newly married couple at the dinner table
by the Indignation of the groom when
fly alights on the brides butter.
He held the old shirt up by the neck
before discarding it forever, but he wasn't
mourning for the garment He only
said thusly !" wish had all the drinks
again that have gone through that old
neckband u
The old man is pretty well along in
his dotage when he plants eggs, sets a
hen on early potatoes, and poles five
hundred cabbage plants, declaring all
the time that he is just as full of vigor
as he ever was.
PERKINS, the American, who married
prisoned and ordered to pay large sum
on account of failure to pay his board
bills. Another warning to infatuated
American sovereigns who marry beneath
their rank.
IT was - o'clock at night when Mr..
Berger, of Macon, Ca, discovered col
ored parson in his stable untying horse,
and the preacher only observed, jess
what said all the time, Mastah Berger,
your boss is bay, sure enuf, and dat
'spute between me an Brudder Jackson
is settled"
The champion misquoter of the world
is on the East Brady (Pa. Independent.
He attributes President Lincoln's last
words, ':with malice toward none, with
charity to all, f" to the Bible. Thus you
may see what comes of letting boys go
fishing on Sunday instead of going to
Sunday-schooL
A MOTHERS heart naturally swells with
pride at the evidence of budding am
bition in her boy as he returns from the
circus and tells her enthusiastically that
he's changed his mind and guesses he
won't be minister. But when he
comes to say his prayers that night and
begins in this style
Now lay me down to sleep
Ipray to have horse to keep,
she quietly curls him over her knee and
takes some of the ambition out of him.
THE literary critic of the Chicago Inter-
Ocean eloquently remarks, "As we read
this work we can almost hear the whirr
and ping of the laundering cannon" I'm
doubtedly the young gentleman got his
military education on the Home Guard.
/" Whirr and ping of the laundering can
non is very good for laundering ass.
Il Cincinnati Times.
JIM TAYNoR, of Terre Haute, had been
telling his wife for three years that he
was going to lick one Ike Bascom, and
one afternoon when Jim went home look
ing as though he had been run through
a tannery, she observed "You licked
him a pile, didn't you, you old blow
hard 2" and Jim went out and crawled
into the haymow to think.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-06-10
SPELLED DOWN.
An ode for the Time.
By ROSE TERRY COOKE.

BY ROSE TERRY COOKE.
Oh! Mary, go and bring the spoilers here,
And bring the spoilers here,
And bring the spoilers here,
To spell match for me.
Her face was pale with many doubt ana 1eaT'
But sadder home came she.
For Madam and Master have come in their best,
And Miss in the garb of her confidence dressed
They stay not for study, they wait not for cal,
But come like the rushing of doves to the hall.
they walk into office with q s y for ''c';;
g Irnsuaded that sobriquet goes with " u"
And giving g superlative" over to two.
You know Joe?
Sho! Joe Baker,
Who spelled it an " aker."
Say, stranger, you know,
He amt slow;
But the miserble boss
Spelled things all across
As true as you i've
Be lei believe,
And beguile
Just like gile."
Oh Joe!
IF the stern sueller thinks he spells,
Or if the dictionary knows,
He knows not what old Webster tells,
Probossisn does not stand for nose
q Ptfisil," and Stix' to me are dear,
Receive and greive" still the same,
Tnmoyeablen by IS dase" or "quear,"
And one to me are fame and :" clame."
Zekle stood up there all alone,
His hands was in his pockets;
the cretur larfed, he might ha' known
He'd git sot down on "locklts."
But some folks be az bold as brass,
Twas Hubby that got redder
To hear him spell for parsing "pass"
And "seythe y to NOW the rnedder!
She M and took turn herself.
ssCOnciet" cut her down early,
@Deliverence laid her on the shelf,
And she was bust on " nurly."
It is the parsan's daughter,
And she Toes spell so queer, so queer,
would were beside her
To whisper in her ear 4 a
And tell her 8 Maccarony's" wrong,
And "rythm " is not right in song.
I would not be salpacker"
About her dainty waste"
Nor feel the 81 urius" ecstisy"
With which once " embrased"
That dansel of ESbewiching mean"
Liz up by blazing paraphene."
SO fallen. so LOST the fame Withdrawn
Which once she wore,
Why did she leave us here to morn"
And then "deploar"?
Revile her not the language hath
A trap for all;
And he who spelleth srath for wrath
Must surely fall
Then spell not reverence with an "a,"
Nor q dunn !" for dumb;
But turn aside your gaze and say
Her g thyme hath come.
FAREWELL oh. farewell to thee, Webster an
ttWoostel,"
For madness is fast creeping over my brain;
spell chandelier and the boys call it rooster,
Oh when viii the spelling book leave us again
Far down in the sunless retreat of cellar
III hide me from syllables swarming like flies;
WretGhed, unfortunate, miss-maddened speller,
Who cares not a straw for the costiest prize.
Burn ND my old school-books to-day if you love me
Drown Webster and Worcester deep in the well!
And write on the knocker so silent above me:
stTheres nobody here that read, write or spell!
Independent.
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-06-10

into the hands of the printer. Next
morning it appeared In all the papers,
except the one with which Peter Finner-
ty was connected. The sensation and
surprise it created In town exceeded
everything. Had it only appeared In
one or two of the papers, persons of or
binary intelligence must at once have
concluded that there was some mistake
about the matter. But its appearance
in all of the journals except one, and
that one at the time not so well known
as at other periods of its history, the fact
forced, as it were, people to the conclu-
sion that it must have been actually
spoken. The inference was plain. Every
body, while regretting that the ne
cessity should exist, saw that no other
course was left but to put, Mr.. WILDER
force at once into straight Jacket, and
provide him with keeper.
In the evening the House met as
usual, and Mr.. Wilberforce, on the
Speaker taking the chair, rose and begged
the indulgence of the House for few
moments to a matter which concerned it,
as well as himself personally.
Every honorable member" he OBJ
served, s'has doubtless read the speech
which I am represented as having made
on the previous night. With the per-
mission of the House I will read it. "
Here the honorable member read the
speech, amid deafening roars of laugh
teri. st can assure honorable members
that no one could have read this speech
with more surprise than I myself did
this morning when I found the papers
The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-06-10

If the stern speller thinks he spells,
Or if the dictionary knows,
He knows not what old Webster tells,
ProbOssisn does not stand for nose.
q Ptiaisilk" and IS Stix'' to me are dear,
Receive and "greive" are still the same,
81 Unmoyeable' by IS dase" or "quear,"
And one to me are fame and :" clame."
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-11-10
PERSONAL.

Ex-senator Fenton will pass the Winter IN
Florida
Col. William NJ. GrosvenOr has become con-
nectod with The Financier OF this city.
A monument to Roger Williams In FAR
mount Park, philadelphia, Is proposed.
Whittier will read q poem at the dedication
OF the Public Library at Haycrhil Mass. tomorrow
Gen. FItz Henry Warren is at the Retreat in
Hartford III with mental disease which Is consid req III
table.
Prof. Everett has declined TO leave Harvard
College for the pasO.ship Of the Unitarian Chuich al
CbaricsiowD, Mass. .
Mr.. W. w. CorcOran Of Washington Is said
to be contemplating the erection OF studio building ior
the artists Of the Cfiy
Admiral Porter contemplates foreign trip
In order 10 inspect personally tho IMPROVEMENTS III
to-pedoes aud torpedo boats Of foreign navles
Carl Scburz has taken house In Thirty
seeondst in this city, where his family VIII I'VE dulie
the Winter and where he will be found When not absent
his lecturiiS iour
Lord Houghton arrived in this city last even
nc and will start this morning on trip to washington
and Richmond returning TO Nrw-YOrk in time TO tahe
The steamer Tor Liverpool on tho 2ith inst
Governors have long lives in Maine. There
Arc ten men living there have been at the head cfthe
STATE: Kent, A Z. Morrill,, Hamn, Williams L. ~ MOI s
rill Washbuin, CObuIn, thnllbefliln, Itlhdh III"
Dingley. -Four Of them are over 40 years ol age
Horace White seems to DO out OF favor III
The Springfield Recublicaa office 1t declares him con
tent with pelcal views Of many things says one OF
his recent tiers rnacks Of the yeIdancy Of first impress
.ions t lis SIR White Ec IL rather quick to accept GOV
ernnent ownership OF railroads. aud cOncludes on enc
whole we adv. 80 him TO say abroad good while YET
what can the matter be uOwf
DR.. Joseph p. Thompson says Admiral Far
ragut once remarked to him 81 would never go into
battle in an ron-oad could not handle my men. nor
insprit them II ball strikes a wood ship II sends
few spllncrs around. two or three poor fellows are
Killed wounded but the hole Ia sOcn stopped the deck
cleared and fight goes But In an ron-clad the
men ee from tine first that they IN their cOih. for
they know that If hole Is knocked in her so she must
4 t. and i much harder To get up their spirit for the
ght. Give good ship OF OAK and put the iron INTO
the men,
The Bishop Of Ripon, England, Las refused
TO allow Mr.. HOylo Of SewYOrk 10 place the words
Eeduiescat in pace the tombstone OF his father, In
the churcyard Maisdcn In his reply TO the request
the Bishop says The proposed inscription Is prayer
for the dcad that all true believe that the
state Of the departed fixed the moment AFTER death
that The souls OF the faithful joy and felicity aud
10 not need prayers that loaf souls cannot DC Dene
cI bv them. that tile Inscription Is b0tn lnsead
ing anu erroneous" Mr. liOyc will suo III the Bishops
CJnssOry Court the right to place the Inscription on
the tombstone.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-11-10
Jn0cf 10 Aopcrllscnenls.

AuusrnySTs third ooqe-4th. 6t1. ana 6ih columns.
BANKiNoBOUsYs AND BANKFRs-Serehh fd9e-Jlh CO..
poAhp AND Rooxs-Third F0re-2d and Sd columns.
BUsfxRss CaANCEs-Thtrd IOCe-2 / column
NOIIChs-F0urtA fdGe-l>t column.
CoPARTsHRsHP NOTICKS--Screa&h I00e-bth coluhn'
(oHpORA TIoS NOriCEs-Sere1sta IoGe-bth cOluiai
NADvBRTIsEhBS IsSccDNd fdJc-ltn, otni anu
9th columns - ,., -.
HUKopEAS uo1RLa-Second PuJc-Jth and 6!h Columns.
FINANCINIl-Sercnfh Page-5th anJ 9th oolulnus
FuRNiTuRk-Third Pd0c-2d column
HEiP WANTED MALEs-rhird Pd0o-6th column o,.
column.
HorFIs-Third Pdge-3d column.
IvstkrCr Io>-Sirth Pdge-i II and I'd columns.
INSURANCE COMPANIEs-SercHtt PdGc-6th column
IkCTURES AND MEf iINGS-JhtT0 Idge-Oth COI'lhh'
Local NOrICEs-Strh PdQe-3l column. - , ,
MARBLE AND SLATE MANTRiS->eSenW Pd0e-Oin COZ
MARRIAcLs AND DHArHs-IGnh P0oe-6th column
MIscKIL ASEoUs-S Pd7e-5;h column; Eighm fd|e
9th column. -,
NUs,cAL INsTRUMRSTs-Tbird PiGe-Gth column
NEW PUGLiCA uONs-Sirh P0gc-ls colnnh:
kRAL EsIATE FoR E-CoUNTEY-Ihfd Toge-lst
Column: Au,rION sAIEs-ILtrd Page-lst column ;
ExCuAN6F--Ih,Fd PGGe-1>t column.
SAYS ny AuC1ION-SiIth IGGe-3d column.
sfruATioNs WANTED MALEs-fhigd Pdqe-,;d cOinmn !;
FHNAIIS-Thi,u Pdge:Sd 18th, 9TH. ard 0tE columns
srKCiAI NorICES-Itnh PG1e-6ih column. 40 49,, ,
STEAMBOATS, AND IiILROADs-Stcod rag An 0iD' anu
9th columns -,
sITAvEiiS OcPAN- Firth PdGe-3d column
TRlCuFRs-SiTfh Pdye-2d aud Sd columns. -
To IrI--(ITY PROPERTY mira IU7c-lst ana "a cor
umns: REOoKLYN-Thtrd Idcs-2d column.
WTSTFP RESoKTs--7h.rd P0Je-3d column
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-11-10

to 10 almost rs much moved by the circum-
stance ~ tho old gentleman in Connecticut
was by tho struggles of the younS dove WHICH
he rescued from The cruel boys who had cap
t,Ired it. The old gentleman folded it gently
in his bosom and took it home, and next morn
inc he'd it on toast for breakfast. Very tender
and susceptible Mr.. Shepherd is. He said some
friendly things too about the Centennial year
and how we should all be bound together, and
seemed so much in earnest about 1t that II
would MT BE strange if he offered 10 fufhiSh
the bonds himself lie then took up the cleo
tons in the different States, and gracefully
slid along on them to the following extremely
beautiful illusions to "thc great and good
Z" Pre- sident," and the wooden payementS
which have lately been voted nrisance
by the Board OF Health. "Hore In the
"capital of the nation" says he in fine burst,
eve meet tonight as Republicans, glad ard
"proud of the occasion which brings us to-
"gsthcr, proud of the great and good Prel-
dent who presdes over the destinies OF THIS
grand Republic, proud OF the party which
"has redeemed the national metropolis from
"the squaor and filth in which 1T had lam
moldering for nearly half century, by
"WOrd and reproach among tho cities OF the
"earth. and transformed it into thing oil
"baauty, making it worthy of the hal'owed
"name it bears There now is man who
points with pride not only at the past, but
the present and the future. likewise to hun
self and the wooden paycments and the Prcsl-
dert. And yet there are people who say the
Boss has not transformed the capital nom
by-word and reproach to a thing of beauty,
but son the contrary quite the reverse" lie
concluded by saying it was pleasant TO ieei
that he was appreciated by his fcllow-citizens.
Subsequently" in the incxcuSably abrupt
and condensed language of the report, " A. Is.
"MuIlett made few remarks" There was an
entertainment for you. President Grant, Boss
Sbepherd, and Mullctt. They did MT call on
anybody else, not even on the "bob-tail clam
"YaDleer in the Post-Oiice Department. But
il was a great day for Washington. And for
humanity.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-11-10

o. IN, sracu. Conrie- comedies In tho latter v!ew
but thinks Mr. Cox Is prcfersbc 10 Mr. Kerr for this
reason: Mn Cox has frequently been called 20 the
chair by tho speaker. and wi he gaining valued
experience he placed Liza d.noss for the duties OF tho
Chair beyond any question Mr. Kerr is heavy. and
rather slow 10 without the lightning quality which
Mr. Cox possesses in eminent degree. Bes.dcs Mr..
Kerr has ont o Congress ono term and II presu
ably rsy on the latest interpretations Of parliament
NswYorh dele alton respect the wishes OF their ositu
enis they viii sfvo Mr. Cox an uEni'iicd support for
Speaker"
Really now TIE Cincinnati Enquirer is rather
hard to suit matter Of Presidential candidates
ce the substance OF four OF lis successive paragraphs
in one issue. Concerning Gov. Tlden II says; "sam
Tden has been perspirlngy following the towpafh On
the Ete Canal Hagosting spawned aud foUniercd
horse headed toward the White House. that was hauling
a Ioaky boat labeled Reform The horse IL dad. tho
boat IL sunk, and Sans occupations gone" OF the
prominent Republican reformer II thinks equally small
bcor: There greater bosh In the world than
the talk OF Brisow. He docss :sy enough under his
lie Is sham refo-mer, and in less than year will
20 10 Join oblivion the gbost Of Ciy Service ref
Next II gently takes Samuel Bowes by the ear. and
makes the novel auggest0n thst there never
opportunc tine 10 the claims OF Charles francis
Adams" Aud finally growls sayagely ut the threat
date yes" Il enclaims, lets have "a little Ut
Horntio. He's very popular H. might By hard work.
be able to carry state Somehow they don't seem TO
be happy oui tn Ohio.
Senator Morton is apparently unable to learn
anything He s thinks the questions OF the war are to
settle the next Presidential contest Ho talks as IL he
were the embodiment of all the loyalty in tire country
An interview with him has been published In The Indian
dpols Journal and tho whole gist OF h Is In this
graph: -" entertain but Little apprehension about tho
result OF the next Presidential election The DEMOCRATIC
party under the control Of the old antwar politicians
who sympathzed with the Rebellion, and although these
men are trying talk loyalty yet tho People have not
forgotten their record. and will not trust item ard
believe that the Union soldiers and the people Of tho
North who took part putting down the Rebellion will
united against the Democracy than they have
been since 1866 The presence Of between eighty and
ninety Confederate officers the pext Congress 10 fact,
the Significance Of which l. not to be mistaken.
The demonstrations throughout the South In favor
~ JEFF Davis and heroes and principles Of the Rebel
lion have not escaped the attention ana consideration ~
tue people OF the North. In short am sned that the
peOle the United States not prepared 10 trust tho
administration o. tho Government. its naiCcs IL hOno-
aud liz prosperity in the hands Of It's late mirs
Lave for twenty years shown tnoir incdpacty every
thing but crimes and blunders."
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-11-10
SOME pRdTOES.

We fear that Tie demonstration of rejoicing
over the results q, the late elections 10y the
Repubicans OF Washington last Saturday even
ing las had but scant justice done ii. The
fact i, that when President Grant makes o
speech other stars must pale their Intellectual
fires. lie fills the scene: there il no room for
lesser heroes. 1t seemed enough when We were
told that the President made a speech, and
what he said. We could not as, for more. It
appear, that Oh this occasion the ricsiient Was
introduced by Mr. Arthur Shepherd, brother
Of the Hon. Alexander r., Ex-Governor cf
the Dist.icl, and familiarly known as " the
"Boss.r His rem lrks are not given, hut he
doubtless made some, AMI very likely Of il
high order. The Boss" himself made Il
50 cch, which HIS been printed. and OF course
does honor to his heal and heart. The report,
however. of what followed is miscrabiy mad
eonate. Subsequently says the mcaicony
and unappieciat.ve newspaper, a. u. Mnllett
"made few remarks" Think OF disIissing
Nlulett in "a sentence. And q sentence OF that
sort too. Made a few remarks" indeed.
"Ani what were thoyY' an impatient public
gasps. When Mullett ina es n few remarks
the world cuuls its hand round its ear and
waits for him. And here Washington news.
paper, with the opportunity of reporting HIM
in full, calmly dismisseS him as having made
a few remarks. We take leave Ia doubt
the accuracy, tic trnthfulucss of the report.
Muilett is q man who never "makes a few re-
"marlts." When he makes any, he makes a
great many And they are usually forcible.
The Boss ia his speech made very poeti-
cal reference to the tidal wave, which, he said,
had receded We know not. the world know
not, and possibly my never know, precisely
what Mullert's remarks were; but ut the mo-
mcnt of this writing, the odds are exacily ;ii-
teen 10 one that if h made any reference to
the tidal wave, il WAS only 10 dam il.
The Boss's speech WIS IN uncolnmonly good
ONE. lie was touched almost to tears by the
thought that this great Government" had 50
narrowly escaped being delivered. bound
"hand and foot, 20 IFS oaenos." lie seemed
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-11-10

The meeting of the American Public Health
Association mt Baltimore brings into prominent
relief the progress of sanitary science III TINS
country. Although the entire movement IL
within the memories of most of or readers
its advances have already added Immensely TO
the welfare of the race. In all communities
where sanitary measures have been fairly
tried there has been q remarkable lowering OF
the death rate. Since boards of health have
been established in our principal cities, posti-
lenca has seldom obtained foothold and has
never spread widely. The reduction of tie
death rate in cities not oaly confers a longer
average on human life, it adds also to the
general pro,nerity, and effects for the masses
what only his own good sense may do for the
IN tv,dual