Connecticut western news., 1875-09-24
Items of Interest.

ltCMc Vl AhVOAOco' ..u4.atH
 Made out of hole cloth--Mosquito bars. ...s a+oa'I .gaaG
 Discouraging-Tof fish all day and get nothing but mosquito bites. m -'.f-t !. r,g
 A man of parts--the hair dresser and also the judge in the divorce courts.
 New York has at last found something to be proud of--the metropolitan burglar.
 When you get into hot water go to your friends you'll find them cool enough. '5 -Iaf
 Lucifer could not have been very proud when he entered the business of making matches. ..... f ....' T.Ija
 A correspondent sends us news of the failure of liquor house, under the head of " A brandy smash" ....-...-. ,...
 Where ten men will cheerfully lay down their lives for woman, only one will carry her scuttle of coal.
 A clergyman at Pittsheld, Conn, has declined to marry couple because the groom couldn't repeat the Lords Prayer. ar "" s4..5masa5
 Barnum has just paid $20,00 for c baby hippopotamus, while there are millions of heathens in Africa who haven't change of shirts.
 If New York rightly appreciates her rife team she will make special police men of them. Each oneof them can take care of thousand yards or so. .s,s.p
 Oh that the preacher were wise, that he would consider the latter end of his sermon, and put it 8 little nearer the first end-particularly during the hot weather. .-C Congre9G e9Gtto'eGtsst. a.'.s'9 "a When a man wants to be mean and show his littleness, he builds his garden fence so high that no neighbor's COW can more than look over it and feel her mouth water at sight of the cabbages.
 A man in Colorado put his hand into box containing hay and was bitten by rattlesnake. He drank four bottles of whisky and-died. The question is, which killed him, the whiskey or the snake -.. ...r ..! r.. ..e.4..lf
 "You're always off at nights, Lean- der" said Mrs. Spilkins responsibility the other evening. "Yes, my dear, re~ piled Spilkins. "You1l remember even when I first proposed, you considered me pretty good off-er." 'a.aasi
 A uaf, named Barber .(but not one by nature) made VOW many years ago thae he would not cut hls hair until Clay was President of the United States. He Gv- ed a barbarous hermit life, and the other day waa found dead in his bed. .''' 70
 In this day of poetic obituaries, we shall perhaps be excused for exhumtng the following from the dust O. former decades E, ...H :.a. ,Gl atgB
 Oh be che gone. and am she went, ,s,
 And is left here all alone
 Oh. cruel fate, thou vast unkind
 Of the original cedars of Lebanon only seven now remain. They cover space of not over half mile upon the noun tain side. They are more than thou sand years old. Indeed, it is believed that some of them were planted by Solo, mon. 1 r. .I'... .,.s. t' fs rsii
 Nothing is so discouraging to young lawyer just as he waxes eloquent about angels tears, weeping willows and tomb stones, as to be interrupted by the cold blooded judge with, " You're off your nest, bub this is case of hog g-steai- ing" .. 4..e .-.'i- a y'!aJi
 Agnes Meyers, & young lady living at San Buenaventura, has just starved 70 death, owing to the burning of her throat by a solution of potash which she took by mistake, the excoriation being so dread- full that she was unable to swallow any thing but ice-water. .Nio''
 CT haven't eaten mouthful in two days," said tramp, "and my wife and three children are starving at home. would give you something, the Pnll- anthropist replied, !" but have nothlng smaller than Q five-dollar bill. l VIII change it for you," said the tramp.
 Dear Laura, when you were flirting young miss, and was your dutiful swain, your smiles could exalt the summit of bliss, your frowns could o'erwhelna me with pain you were dear to me then, love, but now you're my wife, 1t, IS strange the fond tie should be nearer for, when am paying your bills, on my life, you seem to get dearer, and dearerI
 Gov. Leslie of Kentucky recently ap- pointed as aid-de-camp on his staff boy thirteen years old and later he has add cd to his staff son, aged six months, George T. Duff, the assistant secretary of State. The baby ranks as colonel, and the governor declares that he IS more ornamental and fully as useful as any adult whom he could have chosen.
 A correspondent at Minneapolis in forms us that the wheat crop in Minnesota is magnificent. The grain is large and well filed, weighing from sixty to sixty five pounds to the bushel. Nearly all the counties report their average to be twenty-five bushels to the acre. The crop of the State is from twenty-iv to forty millions of bushels of fine wheat, besides other grain. New wheat now sells readily at $1 8 bushel.