The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-12-23
Wit and Humor.

la
NECESSARILY an arrow street-Bow
street.
STRUCK aisle-The man who fell down
In church.
4 DENTIST ballad" who can tell
the jaws we feel p
How to make good pnfs-Send the
publisher fifty cents line for them.
sTHE Devils Necklace" is the title
of a sensational romance, probably in
tended as companion piece 10 Adam
Bede. "l.s e..a 9sa5aelG ls1atas
CHE was one of our most energetic
trustees" says village paper in an
obituary notice, 'and we trustees
happy I"
A FRENCH paper describes young
lady as one who kisses her gentleman
friends until she is six year old, and then
leaves off until she is sixteen.
"IR1sH builder Ito laborer aloft-
Chow many of yez is up there 2" Labor
ers Tin chorus) -" Three" Irish builder
-" Sure, that's too many ; half OF yez
come down at once"
The symptoms of first love are too di
verse and innumerable to mention. Per
haps the leading traits are dissatisfac-
ton with your salary, and contempt
for the way your mother irons your
shirts.
A TEACHER in one of our prominent
female seminaries on the Hudson, on be
ing asked by young Lady OF her class
what pig-iron is, replied: 6 Iron given
| Commercial.
~" WHAT are you aboute" inquired
lunatic of cook, who was industriousiy
picking the feathers from fowl.
Dressing a chicken" answered the
cook. CT should call that undressing,
replied the crazy fellow. The cook
looked reflective.
q LAURA (who is still tr1fe romantic):
!" Don't you think there is something
yerv solemn about the fall of the dead
leaves, Reginald 2" 60 Reginald, her
husband (who has outgrown his TO-
mance): every" Pause). "Talking
of dead leaves, what the deuce and all
have / done with my tobacco 2"
YESTERDAY morning, when woman
sampled some butter at the Central Mar
ket, she spit it out in disgust and ex-
claimed %'That is execraDle butter''
{" You are the third lady who has praised
this butter within half an hour" replied
the smiling stall keeper, 'sand ] believe
I ought to raise on it. How much will
you have 2"-DetTO6t Free Press.
A DErRo1T boy paid his first visit to
one of the Union schools the other day as
a scholar, and when he came home at
night his mother inquired We'll,
Henry, how do you like going to
school, "Bully!" he replied in an
excited voice {" saw four boys licked,
one girl got her ear pulled, and big
scholar burned his elbow on the stove
T don't want to miss day. Free
Press.
They tell big stories about the tough
feet of the Louisiana darkey, but the
Vicksburg negro is always ready to com
pete for the medal. One of them en-
tered blacksmith-shop the other day to
sell horseshoe, and he placed his foot
on hot piece of iron. just cut from a
bar. It was q full minute before the
over the anvil, and uttered terrible yell.
1u0 b1lllGus dbhGu I'LL W cApAd1AL, ttAO gIhC
darkey responded:
ssWhy, Ize bin standin' on that piece
of red-hot iron r.
"And you didn't know it q
sssNo, not zactly; I slnelt sunthin
kinder Gurus for good while, but
fought dere was dead boss round here
somewhat r. Vjcks6atyg Herald.
AN 11Jr1sToN OF THE RINK.
i Along the rink careering fast
How women hoax their lords and masters;
Smith thought an angel gided past,
And it was Mrs. Smith on castors !-Puach.
A SONG OF THE NEW YEAR.
Gather, tonight, by the hearth 80 bright,
We viii sing song OF glee!
The winds may blow DER the giimrnering snow;
But what, blithe hearts, care we !?
For we II shout and sing till the rafterS ring,
And give to the winds every fear
And Wen laugh Ha Hal and we'll quaa Ha /. Ha
To welcome the happy New Year!
Our grief and pain never come again,
They died with the year that's hown
And the Future beams with its radiant dreamsy
And dear ones are dearer grown.
so it's what care we for the Stems that be,
While the ones that we love are herei
For Wen laugh Ha Hal and wen quaf Ha Hal
To welcome the glad New Year.
To each absent friend we blessing send,
And the best of all wishes true
70 the friends of old that have meier grown cold,
We affections warmth renew!
May the olden sigh bid each heart goodbye,
And the olden smile appear;
While we laugh Ha Ha aud we Quaf Ia! Ha
And we pledge the bright New Year.