Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-05-21
HOW MR.. KKYsER ANTICIPATED DEATH

HOW MR.. kkfsER ANTICIPATED DEATH.
Max Adeler has the following:
Last December my friend Keyser dreamed
one night that he would die on the 18th of
January. So strongly was he assured of the
fact that the vision would come true that he
began at once to make preparations for his
departure. lie got measured for burial
suit, he drew up his will, he picked out n
nice lot in the cemetery and had it fenced in;
| he joined the church, and selected six of the
deacOns as his pail bearers he also request
ed the choir to sing at his funeral, and he
| got them to run over favorite hymn of his
to see how it would sound. Then he got
TOombs, the undertaken, to knock together
burial casket, with silver-plated handles,
and cushions inside, and he instructed the
undertaken to rush ont his best hearse, and
to buy sixty pairs of black gloves to be dis
trlbuted among the mourners. He had some
trouble in deciding upon a tombstone. The
man at the marble yard wanted to shove off
on him secondhand one, with an angel
weeping over kind OF flower-pot; but
keyser finally ordered a new one, with de
sign Representing rosebud with broken
stem, and the legend, "Not lost, but gone
before"
Then he got the village newspaper to put
an obituary notice of him in type, and he told
his wife that he would be gratified if she
would come out in the spring and plant yio-
lets on his grave. lie said it was hard to
leave her and the children, bat she must try
and bear up under it. These affections are
for our own good, and when he was an angel
he would come and watch over her, and keep
his eye on her. lie said she might marry
again if she wanted to, for, although the
mere thought of it nearely broke his heart,
he wished her above all to be happy and to
have some one to protect her from the storms
of the rude world. Then he and Mrs Key
and the children cried, and keyser as clos
ing word Of counsel. advised her not to plow
the corn earlier than the middle of March
On the night of the 18th Of January there
was flood in the creek, and keyser got up
at four O'Clock in the morning of the 18th,
and worked until night, trying TO save his
buildings and his woodpile. lie was 50 busy
that he forgot all about its being the day of
hlS death, and as he was very tired, he went
to bed early and slept soundly all night
About six O'Clock on the morning Of the
lourteenth there was ring at the door-bell.
heyser jumped out Of bed. threw up the
front window and exclaimed
Nv hos there ?''
Its me-Toombs," said the undertaken.
." hat do you want at this time of the
morning - demanded Keyser.
Want, said Toomb,. not recognizing
keyser. ''Why, I've brought around the ice
to pack keyser in, SOS he'd keep until the
funeral. The corpse'd spoil this kinder
weather if we didt.''
Then keyser remembered, and it made him
feel mad when he thought how the day had
passed and left him still alive. and how he
had made fool of himself So the corpse
said
well, You can just skeet around home
again with that ice, the corpse is not yet
dead. You're a leetle too anxious, it strikes
me You're not goin' to chuck me into
sepulchre yet, Ifyou have got everything
ready So you can haul of and unload. -
About halfpast ten that morning the
deacOns came around with Grape on their
hats and gloom in their faces, To carry the
| body to the grave, and while they were on
the front steps the marble yard man drove
up with the rosebud tombstone and shovel,
and stepped in TO ask the widow how deep
She wanted the grave dug Just then the
choir arrived with minister, and the company
was assembled in the parlor. when Keyser
came in from the stable. where he had been
dosing horse with patent medicine and
warm mash for the glanders He was sur
! prised but he proceeded to explain that there
had been a little mistake somehow. lie was
also panied to find that everybody seemed to
be a good deal disappointed, particularly the
tombstone man, who went away mad, de
caring that such an old fraud ought u be
rammed into the ground anyhow, dead tor
alive just as the dcacons left in huff,
the tailor's boy arrived with the burial suit,
and before Keyser could kick him off the
steps the papers carrier fluns into the door
the Morung llgus, in which that obituary
occupied prominent place.
Anybody who wantSa good. reliable tomb
stone that has broken rosebud on it, and
that has never been used. can buy one of that
kind at sacrifice for cash, from keyser. lie
thinks that bad dream must have been cause
ed by eating too much sausage at supper.