The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-09-30
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

utCUc.
ITEMS OF INTEREST. s..
"CoME where my nose lies bleeding ~
is the title of a new ditty. 1t is played on
catarrh. Neos.
GEN. SPINNER estimates that there are
100000 lead nickels in circulation, and
so if you get one you needn't feel flattered
about it.
No WOMAN with American blood cours-
ing through her veins will ever give up
her washwoman on her day to obligc a
neighbor.
THERE is something capricious about a
boys memory. He cannot tell you how
he tore his jacket five minutes after the
accident.
THE front-gate season is at its high
noon, and messages between the young
and romantic are nightly stamped by pri-
vate posts.
IT would be most happy arrangement
in many cases if, when one person is tied
to another for life, both Of them could be
tongue-tied.
A MAN in PhGnix was badly injured
last Saturday by a spider-it was an iron
one and his wife had hold of the handle
Fulton Times.
CONNECTICUT turns out a cucumber five
feet long, but they've got to cut it in two
to pickle it, and that's soothing sirup for
the rest of us.
IT is a vexing thought to most men that
a collar box occupies little more space
than any pocket that ever was made for
an honest man.
IT Is hard to tell which will bring the
most pleasant expression into womans
face-to tell her that her baby is heavy or
her bread light.
LET us rejoice that the direct cable has
been put in repair again. The mermaids
once more have conveniences for perform
ing gymnastics.
AN ENGLISH philosopher comes forward
and remarks that the earth is 2,253, ,541
years old None Of us were there and we
can't knock single year off.
A CHICAGO woman says of sleeping cars :
It's so nice for one to lie there and Won
der where the smash-up will take place
and how many will be killed"
WHEN San Francisco elects Superin-
tendent of Police he is given triumphal
ride in carriage. When he goes out of
office he is given ride on a rail.
The hard times have made gravestones
so cheap in Vermont that thrifty people
there are dying off rapidly, just to take
advantage of the bargains offered.
Mrs. WILLIAMS, of New Jersey, wild
ow woman, works farm of 1872 acres on
shares, and when she says "hawr' to the
steers they come around with their tails
standing out straight.
MANY offenses may be forgiven; but
that charity is an unknown quantity in
this world which can wink at the act of
the man, or at the man himself, who says
pyanner and pyazzer.
A CONSCIENTIOUS farmer in Lewiston,
Me-, wiped the mud from his cart wheels
before permitting his load of hay to go on
the scales to be weighed. But such men
are never sent to the State Legislature.
CANADA is not going to stick to Friday
as hangmans day any more, but will
swing murderer off most any day that he
wants to go. This disposition to oblige
man is commendable.
THEY even tolerate such brief-named
man as Frank Tubb near Schoodywob-
skooksis Lake, in Maine. Frankly speak
ing, the Schoodywobskooksis ought
Tubb be ashamed of themselves.
The American family shotgun, stand
ing in the corner of the bedroom, hasn't
slain quite its average number during the
last month, but among its victims have
been some very promising children.
IT is understood that Mrs Sheridan has
gone so far as to refuse Philip the selection
of his own neckties; and it seems to us
that when tyranny reaches thus far it Is
time for war.-Rochester Democrat.
Miss HULETT, the Chicago lawyer, re-
fuses to have anything to do with divorce
cases. She says that "any woman who
will marry man ought to be forced to
live with him" There seems to be
philosophy there somewhere.
WHOA, l tell YEP This is what
farmer said to his oxen as he stopped to
talk with a man on the Dodgetown road
yesterday morning. The animals were
frisky, for oxen, and started again.
':Whoa, l tell ye!' repeated the driver.
He had but uttered the words when some
one in carriage driving past reined in
and remarked: :" My dear sir, do you
know that you are wasting the Queens
English? 1t is not necessary that you
should say more than the word Whoap
to those oxen You are entirely INGRAM
matical if you are superfuous, and you
are superfuous if you employ so many
words.'' The man in the carriage was
Richard Grant White.-Danbury Nsos.