New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-03-12

men of belated manhood determined to DO
remarkable for their self-sufficency, ii for
nothing else, question smartly what the world
accepts, simply for che reason that the world
accepts it. In small matters this is of trifling
consequence. We have in the course of our
experience received communications denying
everything which it is possible to deny with
good grace or bad One-lctters which cast
scorn upon the COpernican system and refuttd
the received law of gravitatiOn which pointed
out the mistakes of mankind in eating meat,
i'm wearing clothes, in taking medicine, IN
living in houses, in being married, or in being
buried, in establishing schools, in building
tOwnsand cities, in attending church, in studying
Latin, or in studying anything. The inspiration
of all these lunatic letters wo have usually
found. whenever investigation was possible or
desirable, to be an egregou5 vanty-a bump
of sclf-esteem, phrcnologically speaking, IS
large as hens egg. The world is full OF
those who show their intellectual power by
saying to everybody upon all possible occasions.
at is Mt" "Not So" 81 deny it," "YOu are
call wrong" "Stuf and NONSENSE" We need
hardly point out that this makes great folks
OF them at once. Is there anybody, by chance,
reading this article who hates his Obscuriy
and yearns to be talked abOutf Well, then,
why do MT you organize campaign against
the worlds squeamish notions of Kissing, for
instance7 Here is dreadful delusion anent
a sweet and innocent expression OF esteem
and admiratiOn-an error which should be
banished from the planet forever. After a
reasonable amount of wrath, Jealousy, dis
gust, cowhiding. kicking, head breaking,
and nose pulling. it is possible that kiss
ing may become quite as common as hand
shaking, and even take the place OF that
tame and absurd method of salutatiOn. But
no matter whether good digestion may wait
on this appetite, and whole bones on
both, or not The point is to have an
excitement. and good text for
speech. Ii is all folly, it is a waste OF
wind, time, and ingenuity to assault such
rckety old stronghold as the Church.
The world does not care two farthings for the
COperncan system. E7en though one should
move heaven and earth to abolish the North
Pole and the Equator, heaven and earth would
take no notice Of him whatever. But the new
System Of Smacks would interest everybody.
There would be no end of the literature which
it would inspire; it would throw the dress
reform, and all other reforms, into the back
ground; and if properly supported by cheap
editions of Johannes Secundus and other CLASH
cal authorities, it ought to bring great fame to
its Orator and Laureate, and great fun to
everybody else.
We may have written thus far in trfling
STYLE but it has not been in any trifing
spirit. We have preferred to use an illustra-
ton somewhat light and humorous, though
graver ones were at our service, If respect
for the best hope and belief of the world had
permitted us to employ them ironically.
Nothing strikes us as of sadder p0rtent than
the free, easy, and superficial way in which
men, simply that they may bring themselves
into notice. seek to disturb the faith of the
world, and to unsettle the lOng-received con-
victions of humanity. Do we not believe
then that there arc abuses which should
be abolished, wrongs which should be righted,
and errors which should be corrected 7 Alas
we almost wish that we did not! We ques-
ton, however, whether any real enlightenment
may be expected from those who assure us, to
begin WITH that whatever is, is wrong" If
this foolish old world, after spinning so many
thousand years, has learned absolutely moth
ing; if nothing has been fixed except that
nothing has been fixed; if the notion of the
crude neOphyte is of as much value as the
painfully acquired opinion of the profoandest
thinker; if religion, which has helped US for
ward for nearly double millenary, is all a
mistake at least as to its methods, doctrines
and economies; if the laws which establish
and control tho social relations are empty
forms or merely despOtic superstitions; if
hereafter man is to be, we are not told ex-
actly what, but something altogether different
in spirit and in kind from what he has been
If we are to walk upon our hands, SEQ with
our ears, hear with our eyes, and talk not
through but with our noses, how happy and
immortal he will be who shall show us the
way and set us the example!
The annals of Hymen contain many mean and
miserable instances. The way is perfectly disgust
ing in which fellow sometimes gets her from the