davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

ASSAULT AND BATrERY.-S. y. Tippctt
who was aday or two Ogo found not guilty
embeaslement, was before Justice Cald
well on Saturday morning upon charge
Of committing an assault and battery up
on Mr.. G. =. Whitney, agent Of the G. 4 T.
Railroad At bridgeport. Tippettis en-.
ploycd as clerk In the paint store oI
Wilson, Dunlevy 4 Co., on Market street
Mr. Whitney entered the store to collect
n bill, when nm alteration occurred as to
its correctness Tippctt lost his temper
aud assaulted Mr.. Whitney, who immc.
iiately had him arrested. The exnminn.
lion resulted In the defendant being held
in the sum Of 500 for his appearance nt
court.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
Meeting OF the 165th rennSylVa.
hin Vet. Volunteers.

PITTSBURGH, May pa largely at.
tended meeting Of The survivors Of the
old lj5th Pennsylvania Vet. Volunteers
was held this evening, at Municipal
Hall, for the purpose Of making arrange.
mentS for n reunion. A permanent or.
ganization was effected and II was reSolv.
ed to hold a reunion annually on the
18th Of September, the anniversary ofthe
battle Of Antietam. Committees were
appointed on enrolment, finance, consti.
tuition and executive business, after
which the comrades adjourned to meet on
the 9th Of tune,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

JUSTICE O'KEEFFE.-On Saturday af.
tGrnoon ]. A. Osburn, Of Harrison COun'
ty, Ohio, went before the above Justice
and swOre out n warrant for the arrest
Of Albert Harkins, whom he charged
with having feloniously taken from his
pocket at night, on the goth Of May, at
his home in Harrison county, the sum Of
$3j and some valuable papers. In dc.
fault Of $1,000 bail, llarkins was com.
miited for o hearing.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

FUNERAL OF G GEoRGE HARDMAN.-ThG
funeral Of the late George lIarlman took
place from the residence Of Mr.. Philip
Schechlc, 1925 Chapline street, on Satur'
day morning. The funeral sermon was
preached by Rev. James Motiat, Of the
Second Presbyterian Church, after which
the remains were inferred in Mt Wood
CemeierY.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

Local pERsoSALs.-Judgc Melvin will
this week exchange Circuits with Judge
lToge, Of the Mnrtinsburg Circuit.
Mr.. l.. 4, Hanson, Of the Hinge Factory,
will leave for New York to-day, to attend
n meeting Of the hinge manufacturers in
that city on Wednesday.
Major lIedgcman Slack, U. $. Marshal
Of West Va, was in town on Saturday,
and left for home OH the Hudson in the
evening.
Prof. F. II. Crngo. Of Moundsvillc, was
nj the Stamm House on Saturday.
Judge jackson, Of the U. s. District
Court, and Jasper Y. Moore, Clerk Of the
same, left town on.Saturdny
Gov Jocob is stopping at the ST. James
Hotel
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

FINE BINDING.-Parties having copies
Of the picturesque America" and wish
Ing them bound, are invited TO call at
this office md examine sample copies
now on exhibition. These copies are
bound In the best OF Turkey morocco,
full gilt, with gilt edge also half mOroc.
co, with side stamp. In style and price
we think they will compare favorObly
with any establishment In the country,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

THE BEETHOVEN ExCURsION.-The
Beethoven Singing Society and friends,
to the number Of about one hundred and
fifty, left on the steamer Express at mid.
night Saturday night upon an excursion
to Parkersburg. Jo, Kramers band aC-
cOmpunied the cxcursiOnists. They ex-
Pected to enjoy themselves generally IN
ParkerSburg yesterday, and arrive home
this morning,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
THE WAR on TIE PAPACY.
BELGIUM.
BELGIUM CABINET CRISIS.

LONDON, May ga Belgium Cabinet
crisis is imminent, owing to the pressure
Of the UItramontaneS
LONDON, May 22.-There is no founda-
ton for the report that the Belgian Cabi-
net is in u difficult position, and that
crisis Is imminent, A denial is also
given to the report that the German
Government had instructed its EmbaSsa.
dor ut Brussels to ask Belgium to pro-
hibit religious processiOns, the object be.
ing the overthrow OF the Belgian Cabinet.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
OiiTank StrnCG by i,iEhtning.

pIrrsBuRor, May 23.-rho ligh ghtnine
struck twenty thousand barrel tank
full Of oil At Kntns City tonight, setting
the oil on lrC. Efforts are being made to
save the oil by running II of, but i il
feared that the tank may burst. The
tank Is owned by SatterhCld& \ Taylor and
tho oil belongs to tho United Pipe Line,
Tho loss and insurance snOt yr, known,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

CoLoRED CHM MUsIc.-Lie Lewis and
Beck Blanchard are two ladies Of Afri'
can complexion and belligerent procivi.
ties Lie alleges that Beck called her all
manner Of hard names, and asks the ma
jesty Of the law to interfere and vin1icate
her character to the world. These things
must be put down, il possible, and Jus,
tice GillGspy issued warrant for Beck's
arrest, which he put into the hands Of
Constable Bond
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

sr. LOUIS, May ga disease strongly
resembling cerebro spinal meningitis
broke out sudtlenly In a Bcllciontainc
street car stable, corner Of IIchcrt and
Tenth streets, yesterday morning and by
10 o'clock twelve horses we're on tho sick
list and four dead. IA other horses are
affected similarly in dilIcrcn, parts, vet.
Crinary surgeons apprehcnd the spread 81
the disease In epidemic form.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

CntcAoo, May ga Tribune special
says that the Village Creek Woolcn
Mills near Lansing, Iowa, and owned by
Howard Carol 4 RatclifT, we're destroy.
cd by fire last night. Loss $4,000, In
surNncc $4,000. the FIRE IL supposed to be
the work Of an incendiaFy,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

PlcNIc AT STELLE's G GRovE.-The Good
Templars OF this city held a picnic at
Stelle's Grove, on the IIempfeld Road,
on Saturday, which was well attended.
A great many Of our citizens went out to
the beautiful grove late in tho afternoon
and returned with the excursionists.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
Another Account Of the Where.
nhhnla Of NhnfkCH.

New YoRK, May 22,-Thc steamship
Crescent City arrived this morning from
Havana, having on board Detective DN.
via, but ShatkCy IL still confined In the
common prison IN Havana, the principal
cause Of Incarceration being his threat TO
kill tho captain Of the Crescent City.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

MANCHESTER, n. H., May 22.-Col. A.
N. Eastman, Of this city, Of the. direct
United States cable, is in receipt Of In.
formation that the completion OF the line
may be expected at any hour. The Far.
aday Is ut Sydney taking coal and waiting
for The ice fields to clear away. NotmotO
than half days work remained when
the Faraday put into Sydney on account
of tho ice.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
Mining Casualties.

WlLKEsBARRE, Pa, May 22.-Whilo
three carpenters were being hoisted out
Of the Stanton shaft to-day the carriage
got loose, and, falling a distance Of one
hundred feet, the men we're killed. At
the Pine Ridge shaft to-day also boy
was killed
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
Snre Of shorI.I1orn Cattle.

CHICAGO, May 22.-The short.IIorn
cattle belonging 10 Joseph Il. Shelley, Of
Carroll county, we're sold at Dexter Park
to-day. The most notable are 37th Lady
sale Of Putncy to L. Davidson, Of Spring.
field, Ky, for 81 900, Princess A, third,
to Daniel Eicheltl, Of Sharon, Ill.,, for
81, ljO, Malurka Duchess, third, to
Campbell 4 Chase, Of West Liberty,
Iowa, for $l,b5O.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

MEMrAIs, May 22--MCssrS Whiule
and Bliss, The Cvangcllsts, continue IL
draw immense crowds Al the Opera House,
hundreds being unable to obtain admis.
sion, but thus far their lNbors have PRO.
duccd but little excitement or enthusiasm.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

The preliminary rehearsal OF the
"Oratorio Of Esther, the Beautiful,
Queen" which will be produced in public
in this city at an early day, in appropriate
historical costume, will take place in the
Sunday School room Of the Fourth Street
NJ. f. Church this evening,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
MOUNTAIN CONFEDERATION
Immense Destruction Of Proper.
" In the Pennsylvania Lumber
REGIONS.

Nv HAOA"s
TYRONE, Pa, May 22.-Reports were
received here late last night, that the fire
was approaching Phillipsburg, and, In
order TO save the town, the burgers or.
dered the brush around the place set on
fire. About two hundred and fifty men
were sent out to fight the flames at the
points from which most Of the danger
was to be feared. Osceola Ia levclcd to
the ground, and heaps Of smoking debris
are all that Ia left Of the houses. Neigh.
boring towns are sending money and pro.
visions for the relief Of the unfortunates
MArCH CHUNK, Pa, May 22.-Vety
severe mountain fires have been raging
in Carbon county the past few days. I'm
mcnse amounts Of lumber, sawed logs
and dwelling houses have been blurred
In Hickory Run and Mud Run regions.
Only n rain fall can cxtinguish them.
The inhabitants Of Mud Run have snf.
fered terribly from the flames, numerous
families only escaping with their lives,
all their household goods and residences
being lost. Mr.. Able Kelsey, Of Hickory
Run, lost his saw.millS, house, barn and
five tcnCments, with all their contents.
Five saw.mills and eighteen houses have
been destroyed on Mud Run. Stephen
Gould lost about three million feet Of
lumber. Lumbermen, with their wives
and children, turned out TO fight the
flames. AT Evansville, Beaver Meadow,
and other mining villages, the flames had
10 be fought by all who we're able turning
out. BACK Of Welscpoft and Parryville
the fire Il raging and spreading rapidly.
The damage done in Carbon county
will amount 10 half a million dollars.
New YoRK, May PA dispatch from
Milford, Pennsylvania, says the forest
fires are sweeping over ten or twelve
townships In Pike county, and unless
rain comes soon there will be great. .suf.
fering and loss Of life.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
Target Shooters choosing u shin.
ing Mark.

poRr JERvs, n. Y, May 22.--Two
young men, named Hoffman and Engle-
man, have been arrested for pistol prac-
ticC on the passenger cars Of the Eric
road, their last target being the Directors
Car
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

MARTINS FERRY. The remains Of
Wm. Donovan, n glass blower in the
employ OF Messrs, Sweeney, McCluney 4
Co., were brought home yesterday in Q
dreadiully mangled condition, being
literally mashed to pieces, the facts Of
which, as near ns we can learn, are as
follows; lie let home on Saturday after.
noon and went over to Wheeling, and
from there he went to Moundsvillc on the
train which arrives there about u O'Clock
at night, and that was the last seen OF him
Yesterday morning the remains Of mar
were found on the railroad, which
were Unidentified by the initials on hi'
right arm as being those Of Mr.. Donovan
and they were placed In n box and
brought home, where they were fully
identified. lie was known to have some
money about him when he left home, and
his friends arc inclined to think that he
was foully dealt with and then placed on
the railrOnd to conceal the fact; hut that
he had a fault that may have caused his
death none will deny. lie leaves a
wife and two small children. Ills
luHcTul VIII luhc IluSS HOhi haH
late residence this morning at 10 o'clock
intcrmGnt at Mount Wood Cemetery,
We understand that Mrs. Donovan knew
nothing OF the death Of her husband un'
til the wagon bearing his remains drove
up to the door, and she being delicate
woman and the news being so rudely con.
veyed to her, it almost broke the poor wo-
mans heart.
Mr.. Henry Colts, formerly Of Wheeling,
died Saturday morning at the house Of
his son in this place, and yesterday his
remains were followed to their last rest.
ing place atMtWood Cemetery by a large
procession Of friends.
A meeting was held on Saturday even.
ing in the Council chamber to make ar
rargcments for Decoration Day, but as
We we're unable to attend We can not re.
port the result,
l.. Spence shipped eleven thrashing
machines on Saturday to the far West
HARRY
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

THE rRErrfRr girls always look happy
and cheerful when going 70 or returning
irum church on A fine day, M II inc
tho sermon always did them a power Of
good, especially whom their new suits
have been iinished and brought home on
Saturday evening
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
New Brunswick.


Sr. JoHH, n. B., May 22.-Great ankle
ty is felt in commercial circles, and there
Is an extraordinary demand on the banks.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
ADDITIONAL LOCAL.

A REPORT OF the ". S. Club excursion,
which was unavoidably crowded out this
morning will appear tomorrow.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
ITALY.

ROME May 23.-Count Cori, Italian
Minister at Washington, has been trans.
ferred TO Constantlnople,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24
FOREIGN NEWS.
GERMANY.

IWL UNNIIE19sVE5 Z 3sVt'
BERLIN, May 22,-The action Of the
Belgian tribunal at Liege, in diSmissing
the charges against Duchesne Of plotting
to assassinatS Bismarck, causes a senSa-
ton here, 1t is generally believed that
the finding Of the tribunal will not be re-
gardcd by Germany rs settlement Of
the matter.
THE WAR on TIE PAPACY.
The upper House of the Diet to-day
passed bill abrogating Articles Is, 10,
and Is Of the Constitution, regulating the
relations between Church and State in
Prussia, The vote was IS to 25,
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-05-24

The winning club was presented by the
managers of the picnic, with handsome
silver. mounted bat, Tho presentation
speech was made by Mr., Noble and res
pondcd to by frank +. Mcneil.
The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-11-04
Another Baker Case.
PHILADELPHIA Telegraph. |


LONDON, Oct 7.-On Tuesday of last week
o young and handsome officer of the Royal
Marines, James Tremlett, about to join his
corps at Chatham, booked his fare from Lon
don, and was the sole occupant of tirst-class
compartment as far as Woolwich Dockyard
Station. From that place the carriage was
shared with him by Seraphina Higglnbotham,
a lady student of medicine and surgery, some
what over the middle age and of great mus
cular strength. AT first they were at opposite
ends and on opposite seats OF the compart-
ment, and he was engrossed With the reading
of the Saturday Rerieto on Mistaken Afinities
the article bearing, apparently, on the
Baker case. Removing her spectacles,
looking intently at him, and ultimately
changing her place in the carriage, the
charming Seraphina observed, with fattering
JUNCTION, You are very nice young man =
Now Tromlett having no knowledge OF the
lady, was frank enough to say SO. She, in no
wise taken aback, seized the paper he held,
exclaimed, "Oh don't read that r and knelt
inrapt alteration before him. His requests to
her to rise not being complied with, he removed
to the other end of the carriage. The lair one
followed, was sure she had previously seen
him, asserted that she knew his sister, held
fast by his coat tails, and insisted upon giving
him "a kiss for his mothers sake" ana he, a
mere boy, with wit enough to recognize his
helplessness, perforce consented con milton
ally on the act not being repeated.
As the train passed through tunnel she
clutched his whiskers, and he became
alarmed. Her manner changing, she sudden
" became "a lone, unprotected female" and
counseled him to take care. She was assured
she need be in no anxiety about that, and
thereupon, protesting her innocence, she
gripped him by the collar. His struggles
were in vain Suddenly leaning forth from
the window he shouted for help, which came
in the guise of porter, for Meophan was at
that moment reached, and Seraphina Hgin-
botham, condemned by the unexpected dis
covery Of her spectacles entangled in her in
tended victims coat-toils, had an interview
with certain justices at the Slnglewell Petty
Sessions substantially admitted the charge
against her, and pleaded that she only " de-
sired to show admiration for handsome
yonne man, against whom she had nothing
whatever to say" and was fined $50 and costs.
The appropriate ending of the affair is, of
course. that message Of coincidence has been
re ceived by the young officer from high
quarter.
The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-11-04
Table Of Rates Of Domestic Postage.

Ths following are the rates OF postage on Dea
uaatic Mail Matter Of the different classes:
Note-Al domestic mail matter Except news.
csnars. magazines and periodicals sent to actual
suhscribers from known office Of puohcsticni
must be prepaid by postage stamps.
A letter on which one full rate OF postage IL
prepaid. but on which further postage Is Charge
sble. will be forwarded, when deposited In &
nost-ofice. charged with the unpaid postage 70
ho collected on delivery. If the postage is lefs
vho,lv unpaid. or is prepaid less than one ful1
rate It will be held for postage and sent to the
Daad Latter Office. Should it reach its destins.
ton nv ipadyertence, however, it will be charged
with double postage on delivery. one iais
rate" MEANS in the case OF mali LEVERS OK o'oaf
FIRST class matter, three cents.
Tn large cities and adjacent districts OF large
population. having two or more post-ofiices With
in distance OF three miles Of each other, any let
ter nosted at one of such offices, and addressed to
locality within the delivery of another Of such
Offices which shall have been inadvertently pre-.
paid at the "drop" local letter rate OF postage
only may be forwarded to it's destination through
the proper Office charged with the amount OF ths
deficient postage, to be collected on delivery.
II articles chargeable with different rates o.
postage are sent together in one package, the
higher rate must be paid on the entire package;
Init two or more different articles, both charge.
able with the same rate Of postage, may be sens
in one package on payment OF that rate on ths
whole package.
The following articles are excluded from tho
mails: LIQUIDS, Poisons, Glass, Explosive Ma.
terials. Books, Pamphlets, Pictures and other
nph,ications OF an obscene or indecent character;
all letters upon the envelopes of whict, and pea.
tai cards upon which, scurrilcus epithets are
written or printed or engraved, or disloyal de'
vices printed or engraved and all articles which
from their form or nature are liable to destroy,
deface or injure the contents OF mail bags or the
person of any one engaged in the postal service.
| Postmasters are not allowed to give credit for
postage, nor to deliver any mail matter until AL
postage due thereon has been paid.
The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-11-04

-TRUSTEES-
A. r. Aiken j. Davidson Hill,
S. d. ALtey, M. johnson,
Hugh All son, j. S. Lanpher
Isaac Bloom, Robert L. Moore
J. A. Braseman H. J. Mullen,
w. L. Blakemore John Myers,
c. H. c. Brown Edward Nalle
<. B. Briggs, Edward T. Payne,
Samuel Boyd, George W. Sentell
John d. Cobb, w. b. Thompson,
j. f. Campbell, Frederick Wing,
w. L. Cushing, c. w. Wood,
BENJAMIN Ger5on, T. S. Waterman,
F. G Gilbert J. f. Wyche,
c. A. Green, Lloyd r. Coleman,
G.. p. Harrison. oil cod tt
The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-11-04

FACTORS AND TRADERS
Insurance Company.
81. CarOndeIet Street.
Assets April 80, 1878, SI,4S6,2l5 IS.
This Company issues Policies on
FIRE, RIVER AND MARINE RISKS
At Lowest Tariff Rates.
E. A. PALFREY, President.
MOSES GREENWOOD, Vice President.
THos. F. WALKER, Secretary.
Moses Greenwood, RM walmsley.
w. A. johnson, A. Brittn,
John l. Noble, A. II. May,
John Chaffe, 5. ii. Snowden,
Richard Milken, T. Lytt. Lyon,
Samuel E. Moore VIM. C. Raymond,
il Warren, Jas. 5. Prestidge
RT Buckner Samuel II. Boyd,
Samuel Friedlander, Joseph McElroy,
"A. Yates. Z. b. Wheclock,
John I. Adams Cyrus Bussey,
Isaac Scherck, VIM j. Behan
81 IN, b. F. Eschleman
The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-11-04

STATE OF LOUISIANA,
Cit of New Orleans
Sworn to and subscribed before me, notary public
this Goth day of September 1873.
CHAS G. ANDRY, Notary Public.
The Board of Trustees at their annual meeting on
the Goth inst resolved to pay 10 per cent interest
Oh paid in capital and declared the following divi
dends:
21s per cent on paid in capital;
30 per cent. earned premiums.
All of which will be paid full paid stock or cred
tied on notes on stock in part paid, and after
TUESDAY, Goth October 1s7J
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1875-09-11
CARD OF

Mr.. EDITOR: Please allow the nnder-
signed to express, through the columns of
your valuable paper, our heartfelt pleas
ure for the kind and hospitable treatment
rendered us while attending theD Dedication
of the Odd Fellows Hall in the city of
Eureka. While we wish all our many
friends to accept our grateful thanks, we
must especially thank Jul friend, j.
Oberer, for the splendid drive given US.
Also. P. Rossiter, that ever popular Su-
perintendent Of the Richmond mine, for
especial favors in showing US that most
wonderful work. We, in justice to our
selves and our friends could not let this
occasion pass without an expression of
sincere gratitude. Very respectfully,
OTTo BoETzEL.
JUDGE BUSH,
FRED'K K. HEIrMAN.
Hamilton, Sept. 9. 1875.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1875-09-11
THE BLooDLEss CAMPAIGN.

Here is what the Sentinel of the 9th has
to say of our Indian war;" which fully
expresses our W convictions: We pub
lish a mass of intelligence from various
sources regarding the White Pine war.
With the writer, at least, the conviction
is fast gaining ground that the campaign
is to be a bloodless one. The Phoebe
stage has been scared back from its reg
ular trips, further than which not a single
hostile demonstration is reported from
any direction. In the meantime extern
sive preparations are being perfected for
"a more vigorous prosecution of the
war, as witness the arrival of United
States troops at Elko. When the real
grandeur and completeness OF this stu
pendous fzzle shall have been fully re-
allied, we imagine that one prolonged
grin, such as was never witnessed before
since the dawn of time, will possess the
whole civilized world. The righteousness
of half a Commonwealth installing the
innocent roasting of pine-nuts by the
frugal natives for the signal fires of a
hostile enemy is too excruciatingly funny
to be endured without imminent peril
of bursting.