The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-04-30
sayISGs AND P0INGS.
BRAIN TISSUE.

He always airs his fGvorite theme,
Nor cares penny's toss for US, mi,
But rails at beef with Pooh y and y flan
Aud calls for cod and other fish,
Hoping TO gain-his dearest wish
"The mean amount OF phosphorus.
Oh that he'd change his boarding place
'Twould surely be no loss for uA-
But there's one consolation yet,
His star, ascendant, coon viii set;
Some time he'll die, and then he'll get
: His "mean amount OF phosphorus
A "KNocKER. UP and windQw-tickl'
. from three to seven F" advertises that /
. will wake London people cheap.
e MARK TWAIN denies that his Gil'e
{ Age was failure. He says IL gave
: poor, worthy bookbinder a Job.
ANOTHER half million OF Tweed
property has been attached IN West
chester county, New York.
The latest eastern slang with whicl
to come down on a long-tongued bort
is: "Write the rest down on a piece
of paper, and wen read IL Sunday"
IT is said an article by John @. Gal
ton, on the song of fishes. Tint fifty
two out of more than 5000 species Oi
fishes are known TO produce sounds,
and that many Of them emit musical
sounds.
A WOMAN in Switzerland was recently
married to n man in America by proxy.
This looks as if IL might prove TO be
the first step toward a system Of happy
marriages. The proxy experiment
should have full and fair trial.
EDGAR PoE said "To vilify n great
man is the readiest way in which a
little man can himself attain greatness.
The crab might never have become n
constellation but for the courage it
evinced in nibbling Hercules on the
heel"
ONE young man who resolved at the
beginning OF the new year not 20 smoke
any more cigars bought his second box
of clay pipes yesterday. He says he
will stick to his promise il it takes every
clay pipe III town. BE brave, young
man, and hold on
DRY times in Michigan. The artesian
well at Arian has reached n depth OF
1000 feet, and there is still no water.
Only the fact that tho well ut Fort
Wayne, Ind, is 1,500 feet deeper aud
inst as dry keeps the originators Of the
Michigan enterprise from seeking tho
seclusion offered by the farthest west.
WHAT shall be done with an Indian
who kills another Indian. there being
no law for the punishment OF that
crime, is O painful inquiry made by the
Christian commission. The New York
Herald answers, "Give him a gun, a
quart of whisky, a string OF BEADS,
and So"
THE New York saloons pay half mill
lion dollars year 10 the city, and take
in fifty-one millions in the Same time.
The city officials and the Rrave-diggors
wear good clothes and smile sarcastic
cally when the strides Of Temperance
are referred to in their presence.
APRoPos TO the notion OF putting
clocks in all the principal streets OF
Paris, all combined electrically to give
a uniform hour, the Figaro says: 'This
is the last work Of progress, and Paris,
as usual. is in advance Of all cities"
But Brussels hal this piece Of progress
ten years ago, and copied il from old
fashioned Ghent.
THE women of Colorado town got
mp a suffrage meeting the other day, no
men being admitted. No business OF
was transacted, however,
because some invisible miscreaut let
down a live rat through the skylight,
and, amid shrieks and screams, the as
semblage suddenly adjourned.
A MARArraE novelty has arrived in
New York in the shape Of n steamer OF
$50 tons from Gothenburg, in Sweden,
called the Bifrost (RainboW). She is
built of the best Swedish charcoal-made
ron, and the ribs and beams are steel.
Her furnaces only consume fifteen tons
.f coal n day. She is brig-rigged with
Eve bulkheads and two decks.
M. LoRGERIL, of the French Assem-
blv, has excited tho French apotheca-
-ies. He says they sell for twenty-five
,epts a medicine which costs them
,bout a cent and half; but they say
he medicine costs them at least twice
IS much, that is three cents, and they
ieem TO consider it an outrage that any
,ne should thus question their right to
profit of 800 per cent.
The removal OF foreign substances
rom the ear may be often accomplish
ID by doubling n horses hair in the
'orm of a loop, and, placing tho patient
mon the side, passing the loop into the
lar ag far as IL will 20, then turning IL
rently. The substance will generally
,ome out in the loop after one or two
The application will do
10 damagei if the hair be carefully USED.
Two thousand years from this year,
when the compiler OF ancient poetry
,tumbles upon these mysterious lines,
Tbich are now going the newspaper
.ounds. he will wonder what they could
possibly have meant:
held hand at draw"
And thinking IL worth while,
" blinded half my pile;
And with triumphant smile,
Ho "Baw.'
1 drew one card-'twas rod;
The other four were spades.
Straightway that fellow wadea
For me with three old maids
Nun ced."
"RIoH blue velvet with garniture OF
he finest Russian sable, satin petiicoat
with bands of diamonds and
arge diamond tasse's, and trains OF
velvet" That was what the duchess OF
Edinburgh wore at a royal drawing
room in which she made her finest APP
Note the use OF The terms
i'bands of diamonds" and "large dia-
mond tassels," and then imagine the
Of the display.
AN Indianapolis detective, being
sworn, deposes and says: "Pearl
phinned me TO fake this house work; this
was not at the Sheenys. He told mo
10 cheese it on the Sheeny, az he had
given him away. / then asked him
what kick-up he and the Sheeny bad,
ns my mob had split ON me and left me
without finneff." What a great Cali
fornia poet that man would be If he
had q chance.
THE bonds of the Suez canal COM
pany are on the London stock exchange,
with statement OF the financial condi-
tion of the company. During 1873 the
receipts were Gl, 100000, aud the ex-
penses G225, 600. The dividend of that
wear was three and three.quarters per
cent. The cost Of the canal was S95.
OOO. 600, of which the Egyptian govern
ment paid S32, 900, 600. The business Of
the canal is constantly increasing, and
people use its success as an
for the building Of a ship
Z NAL across the isthmus Of Panama.
THE Indianapolis Herald has been
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