The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1875-05-20
little JOhunJ's Composition.


GIRLS.
Girls aint auiueIs, but humens
wien gro up to be wimmens, same as
calls git 10 be cows, II the butchers
mine their biZneSses. Mr.. Briley is q
butcher, bat Mr.. Doppy he has got 9
red-headed wife. Girls mas long hair
too lazy 10 cut it OF, aud wears freek-
les. not like me and Billy, trousers.
II | was a girl yude see me take them
things of nifty sgne, can tell YOU,
COS they luxe dIcElOus in EN-, ike
shugar lofes, only not sweet. I hate
girls, and Billy ne hates em tpo, but
not my sister, COS she can't heiluD it.
Uncle Ned, wieh mas been in Injy and
evry were, he says he was to plaee
once were oil the little boys like me
and Billy hates the little girls like
takin pills, but after tue little boys is
erode up, and the girls too, they likes
EN-. said Uncle Ned, where is that?
and he said BIadigigasker. Then L
said: Oh, that accounts for it, them
boys is niggers, and he said that's q
faek, Johnny, they is kind o Ohpske
to luke at, but that's wot makes it
more s'prisn cos the girls is niggers
too.
My mother she says ones that she
was little wee tiny girl her own
self, good job dident know her then,
may oe We wudent liked one another.
but L like Mary, that's the house maid.
wen she amt stuck up, and my father
he likes pale all and Mister Glasstone,
Once my father was a drinkin some,
and Gaffer Peters he came to the
house, and he said, CATER Peters dir,
wOt was in it, and my father said pale
all, have some, CATER, but Gaffer
shuke his head and said l shude think
it wude spile les.yOu mad eIver for
the pail, wy amt it kept in barl like
human beins' l never see such nu-
fangle idees as folks is gitten nowadays!
Amt in Onenerfiie o ole man, not a
speek of hair, and no teeth neither,
wich don't knO any bettern that ?
Girls Is mostly yunger than boys, but
Mary shees Older.
That girl jus makes me sick Yes
terday wen Aunt Marthy was to our
house with her little baby she give it
to me to mind, vile oil the fOlkes was
in the dinin rune, and her too, so
bime by Mary she come 3 runnin in
-@HA 0AAA oOAnhg. AAllO Snt give Al u
goody, the darlin little angel, and I
said yes, she mite if she wude 80 q
patch on my little red Whaggon were
IL was wore out. She said she Wude,
and wOt do you think she give it. wy, /
4 pickle walnut wich was 50 big it !
wude hardly go in its mowth. Ssch |
and coffin and hOllerin was /
never saw, and when the foxes come |
in my father he had 10 get it out with |
the handle of 3 table knife, and ol |
the vile the vinnyger Dustin out OF 1
its knose. Wen lt was oil over, my
mother she said Mary, how under tue
sun did the child git sech thing, and
Mary she said D, II you pleeze. mum,
It must have cetched il passin the
lospittle. But Uncle Ned, wich has
been to Ingy and evry were, he says
he little topper must have been miXin
ais drinks, COS wOt it had was q tIte
1t. l don't no wOt he means, for huw
;ude it mix EN- les it had 2 mothers?
Girls like to play with dolls, out
gimme hammer, aud kite, and a
and a Whaggen, and hob
)y horse, and lots of tWine, and some
lales, and lot ofchock, and wOulden
aword, and lie git on with jest the
ittlest dol which can be made, and I
iOnt care whether it has close on it or
lot. Dolls is stuff with brand sOddust,
)ut girls is flesh all thrOo. Once when
Missus DOppy was here to dinner
With her little girls We had mutton,
md Uncle Ned he was joking like he
vas mad, and ne said Sissy wot peece
hall 1 heliup TO you, and Missus
OOppys little girl she said if you
llesce, Uncle Ned, lie have leg.
In Chany, wen girl is jus bOrned
he is tuke to blacksmith, and has
ern shoes put into her feets, like
horses, wich makes em stay little,
md then when she grows up and gifts
to her young man she cant
oller him to his club, and cant go the
Dfiiee to look if he is there like he
ays, and that's wot / call fair play,
'Os she cant walek, but wy don't they
lit in the bus? One time wen Missy
vas up to London she got bus to 90
20 shop, and Wen she got there she
,Ot out, and said to the bus man you
wait here for me, COS wen / get some
hings L want you drive me back to
Ihairing Cross, and then To Madem
Two Shoes whaX works, if you know
we're the place is. But Missy says its
,nly Jest one of Uncle Ned's stOrys, it
vasent MAIDEN Two Shoes, but the
Zoo.
Girls is oil very wei vile they stick
o their dOlses aud sech nonse1s, but
ven it comes to ridin on a sack OF
'Oles and playing they was cavalry
ay its dIsgussin, but me and Billy is
IS brave sojers as you ever see.
Once they was Mormon which
lad so many wiles he cudent hardly
'ount EN-, and he went way from
lOme, may be to get some more, but
he stayed way so long livin among
white foxes he forgot, and wen he
vas reddy to go back he TELEGRAPH to
lone sayin MissuS Jones, eos that
vas his name, meet me at the sta
hiOn. So wen be got OF to the sta
hiOn the watin rumes was full of his
gifes and childeTns, then he remem-
,ered how it was. So be Kist evry
,oddy he cuds find, pOrters and all
md then he said were is tie little girl,
md one of his wives she said Emily,
-Ou run over to home reel quick and
etch her. So pretty sune they was a
mock to the dOre, and the wumman
he said come in, Emly, and there
vas bout twenty girls come in, each
ne fetchin little girl. SO the man
le luked at EN- and he said Yot a fine
hile, bles my cole, how she had erode!
'hen he said how old, and his wives
hey pegun to tel him, but no ike.
10 ne said hold hard bit, and tuke a
Iensle and marked on the vol the
ifferent ages wich they said. Wen
hey got done telIin he added EN- oil
p, and said jest xactly SO years,
hot oil the vile Emly had made
nis.ake, that girl has feteht me my