The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1875-05-15
Paragraphic.


"a skin game''--the fur dealers.
Vested interest In the waist
coat pocket.
When hog roots in snow bank It
knows SHOWS.
Why is q slde-saddle like four
quart iug2 Because 1t holds gallon.
Cakes Of toilet soap and two.dollar
suspendcrs are beginning to reach Ne
braska sufferers.
An Engllshman proposes to run
street cars by clock work. only two
hands will be required,
The saying excuse haste and bad
pen" has been attributed to pig who
ran away from home.
The fellow, who asked for lock Of
his girls hair, was informed that 1t
''costs money, hair does"
A Frenchman, intending to compli-
ment young lady, by calling her a
gentle lamb, said, ''She is one mutton
as Is sun all!'
Don't discuss the testimony with
cat In your lap, or IL you will do 1t,
don't get SO excited as to rub the ami
mails back the wrong way.
"Meat me at the spelling match at
the Muesic hail." was the invitation
written probably by one who stepped
down and out on the first round.
The difference between tale.bearer
and sealing-wax is, that sealing-wax
burns TO keep a secret, and the tale.
bearer 6dsns to tell one.
"Jemima," said fashionable miss to
her friend, 81 think Charley Potts is
perfectly SPLENDID; he can get on my
gloves, and wears spit.curls.'
The boy. who ran away from school
to ''go fishing all alone," and caught
himself in the lip, says he's got enough
Of fishing on his own hook,
An instructor asked q French girl
why beer in French was feminine. She
replied IL was probably owing to the
fact that the boys liked 1t so we'll.
An exchange says, "We'll ride two
miles to see two brothers under twelve
years Of age go to bed together without
having dispute about something"
"Biil," said one apprentice toanother,
"my boss is better man to work for
than your old man. My boss ant al
ways round bis shopinterfering with his
own business"
Mother" said Jemina, "Sam wants
to come courting me tonight" "Well
what did you tell him." "Ohl / told
him te might come. I felt anxious to
see how he would act.''
Stay" he said, his right arm around
her waist, and her face expectantly
turned to him, "shall it be the kiss
pathetic, sympathtlc, graphic, oriental,
intellectual, paroxysmal. quick. and dis.
NAL, slow and unctious. long and tedi.
GUS, devotional, or what?" She said
perhaps that would be the better way.
The Woodstock Standard says the
meanest man in Vermont lives in Ches-
ter. He was invited to join In singing
at the funeral of one of his neighbors
daughters. He accepted the Invitation
and soon thereafter presented to the
father of the deceased claim for ffty
cents for services rendered ON that oc-
casion. The bill was paid.
One day last week . smiling infant
toddled away from Its home near Viola,
Iowa, on the Dubu que Southwestern
Railroad, and lay down between the
rails to sleep. A few moments later a
train came along and the engineer, see.
ing he could not stop In time, pulled he,
wide open and banged the whole train
over the sleeping cherub before It woke
and never touched hair Of It. Had the
little one attempted 10 raise 1t would
have been killed instantly.
There is a story from Paris Of q dog
that has been sleeping ever since the
18th Of last Noveu Der. Alas, there are
no such dogs in America. The Ameri-
can dog not only stays awake himself,
but keeps every other living thing
awake.
A blushing damsel called at one Of
J the agencies the other day TO buy sew.
ing-machine. "Do you want q feller9''
inquired the modest clerk In attend
ance. The ingenious maid replied with
some asperity: "NO, slrI have one"
Brown came home with q black eye.
, To his wite's inquiries, he replied. that,
having asked himself 4 question, he re.
. celvsd such saucy answer that he had
been obliged to resent 1t. His wife did
not believe him, and got q new dres:
that week.
Nat NJ was . queer genius. A
neishbor found him one day at work on