The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-10-06

| He slipped into an icc-cream sa-
loon very softly, and when the girl
asked him whot lie wanted, he re-
lplicd:
.'Corned beef, fried potatoes, pick
les and mine pie.''
'sThis is not a restaurant, this is
an ice-cream parlor," she said.
{ s'Then why did you ask me what
| wanted for2 Why didn't you bring
on your ice cream"
She went after it, and as she re
turned lie continued:
"You see, my dear girl, you must
infer-you must reason. 1t isn't
likely that I would come into an ice
cream parlor to buy grindstone, is
it? You didn't think / came in here
to ask if you had any baled hay, did
yon?"
| She looked at him in great sur
prise, and he went on.
'sIf.I owned hardware store and
you, came in, I would infer that you
came for something in my line. ]
wouldn't step out and ask if you
wanted to buy a mule, would I?''
She went away highly indignant.
An old lady was devouring a dish OF
cream at the next table, and the
stranger, after watching her for a
moment, called out:
"My dear woman, have yoa found
any hairs or buttons in your dishYa
Mercy! nor' she exclaimed, as
she wheeled around and dropped her
jspoon.
'sWell, I'm glad Of it," he contin-
ued. eff you find any just let me
know
She looked at him for half min
ute, picked up the spoon, laid it
down again, and then rose up and
left the room. She must have said
something to the proprietor, for he
run in and exclaimed:
'sDid you tell that woman that
there were hairs and buttons in my
ice cream? Z"
mo, sir?"
"You didn'ts"
mo sir, | did not;rI merely re-
quested her, in case she found any
such ingredients, to inform me-"
swell sir, that was a mean trick. =
/ "My dear sir" said the stranger,
Smiling, "did you expect me to ask
the woman il she had found a crow
bar or sledge hammer in hel
cream? 1t is impossible, sir, for sucl,
articles to be hidden away In such
small dishes?''
The proprietor went away, growl-
ling, and, as the stranger quietly
supped away at. his cream, two young
ladies came in, sat down near him
and ordered some cream and cakes
i He waited until they had eaten {
.Elittle and then remarked:
BEG pardon, Indies, but do yot
observe anything peculiar in thu
taste of this. creams"
i They tasted, smacked their lips
/ and were not certain.
ssDoes it taste to you as if plus
1 of tobacco had fallen into the freez
erY he asked.
/ .Ah! hah.r!' they exclaimed, ant
trying to spit out what they had ca
ten. Both rushed out, and it WASH
long before the proprietor rushed in
ssSee here, what in blazes are 70,
talking about?" he demanded. :
"What do yon mean by plug tobacco
in the freezer?
"My kind friend, / asked these Ia
dies if this cream tasted of plug to
|! .bacco. II don't taste any such taste
and / don't believe sou put a bit 0
tobacco in itp''
"You don't want to talk that VIZ,
around here" continued thesproprie
tor. "My ice-cream is pure, and tn
man who says it isn't is abold Har?'
He went away again and womal
with long neck and sad face sa
! down, and said to the girl that sh
would take a small dish Of lemon-ice
f It was brought and she had take
: abont tYo mouthfuls when tho strau
: ger inquired:
t uExcuse me, madam, but do 20
d know how this cream was made
t have you any idea that they CRATE
! turnip and chalk with the cream?"
Il She didn't reply. She slowly ros
4 up, wheeled around, and made for tn
. door. The stranger followed ate
/ and by great good luck his coat tail
4 cleared the door an instant too 500
+ to be struck hx a Eve pound box {
II figs, hurled with great force by til
/ Indignant proprietor. AS he reache
e the curb stone he halted, looked
J the door Of the parlor and solil'
e quized:
d seTherc are times when Peep
u should infer, and there are tim,
e when they shouldn't. | suppose
81 had asked that woman if 81
e thought they hashed up q saw M
It in the cream she'd have felt circ
t. lar saw going down her throe
], Il Detroit Free Press.
y -. -
Y -THE New York World observe
u It is a perfectly safe thing for CT
'e icised actress to horsewhip the cri
u cal press when the representative;
y the press is fragile, unprotect