The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-08-05
1,arieties.


A heavy business-importing elephants
Vested interest--mOney in the waist
coat pocket.
When hog roots in snow bank its
nose knows SHOWS.
Why is a side saddle like four quart
jug? Because it holds gallon.
a mule, wa>t-tub, and fine comb are
considered fine bridal outfit in Florida.
1t takes girl with lo.s Of moral courage
to walk up street with one of those UNI
brella hats on.
Cakes CT toilet soap and two-dollar sus-
penders are beginning to reach Nebraska
sufferers.
An Englishman proposes 70 run street
ears by clock-wOrk. Only two hands will
be required.
The saying Excuse haste and Tad PEN
has peen attributed to pig who ran away
from home.
The gold found in the Back Hills is said
to be one of very Siouxperior quality.
The fellow. who asked for lock of his
girls hair was informed that it costs money,
hair does.
A Frenchman, intending to compliment
a young lady, by calling her gentle lamb,
said, "She is ore mutton as is smalli"
Quilp TO (Mrs. Q )-''W how did you
like the sermon, my dear!" Mrs. 60,
perfectly splendid. Such loves of bonGets!"
"What is going ou2" said wellknown
bore to Douglas Jerrold. II am,'' was the
reply, and on he went
Considerate father: "You should eat
Graham bread, my son; it makes bone"
Responsive youth: "H' N bout all bones
now"
That farmer understood human nature
who said, 'If you want to keep your boy
at home, don't bear too hard on the grind
stone when he turns the crank"
Don't discuss the testimony with a cat i'll
your lap, or if you will do it, don't get 50
excited as to rub the animals back the
wrong way.
Miss ETA Dawson, Low Moor, England
has gived anonymously, at different times,
sums which amount in all to about 9l0,-
600 to charities.
Brooklyn Argus: "When woman has
buried her sixth husband it sounds sort of
heartless to hear her walk out of the eeme-
terry exclaiming "next''
A South Carolina woman took pair of
No. shoes because she nnnld ret th am for
the same price as No. 3's, but you hardly
ever find woman as sensible as that.
Caudle says that his wife, at least, what
ever may be the experience of census takers
with others Of her sex, is always ready to
tell her rage.
"Meat me at the spelling match at Mu
sic hail., was the invitation written proba-
bly, by one who stepped down and out on
the first rouId.
The difference between a tale bearer and
sealing wax is, that sealing wax burns to
keep a secret, and the tale bearer burns to
tell one.
"Jemima,' said fashionable miss to her
friend, 81 think Charley Potts is perfectly
splendid; he can get on my gloves, and
wears spit-curls."
The boy who ran away from school to
ego fishing all alone" and caught himself
in the lip, says he's 90. enough CT fishing
on his own hook.
An instructor asked French girl why
beer in French was feminine. She replied
it was probably owing to the fact that the
boys liked it so veil.
An exchange says, "Well ride two miles
to see two brothers under twelve years of
age 90 to bed together without having a
dispute about something"
Now don't be rongb,' remarked a per-
son, who had been arrested for thi9very, the
other night. pray don't say am a thief.
Be polite and call re canal contractor" "
An hospitable and lmpolite combination
of biglettered posters on South End bill
board reads thus: Edwin Booth Take
the Fall River Line to New York"
The journalists will have some work
saved for them in writing an account Of the
l7th of June celebration. There is col
umn already set up on Bunker Hill.
Said a magistrate to an actress, "Your
profession, mademoiselle?" "Artiste. y
"Your age?" ''Twenty-two. "Usher,
you can now swear the lady to tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing but the tru th
A small boy in New Haven made sen.
sation for short time by quietly transfer
ring card bearing the words "take one,
from a lot of handbils in front of store
to a basket of oranges.
An assessor asked 4 woman how many
chickens she had, and, doubling her WORD
proceeded to count them She took him
to the beehive, kicked it over, and invited
him to count the bees.
4 man out West brags that all the furni
ture and flooring of his house is made o
live oak, but his wife who does the hare
work of the house, says it's nothing bu
scrub oak.
A loquacious blockhead after babblini
some time to Lord Erskine, observed b
was afraid lie was obtruling on his lord
ships ear. ''Oh, not at all, said Erskine
81 have not been listening"
Mr.. r.Augustin Daily, the New I ork thea
trical manager, says that in Paris he ha
seen ''colored spectators sitting side BY sid
with dutchesses," and he doesn't see VIII
/ the same NAV not be done here. We woul