The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-09-09
Observations of Men and Things.
Z OUR GEORGE

School weather now.
'The melon-colc DAYS have come the saddcst
of the year"
Imitation. Eating dried apples and then
drinking water.
| Candidates for office are usual! y Baptists.
They believe in the doctrine of election.
| There is nothing that will remind man that
he has a corn so readily as to walk downa steep
| hill.
| One of the things that science has never cX-
| planned is why cobweb always comes just
| across ones face, no matter how tall or short
he may be.
1t is estimated by good Judges that, notwith-
standing the fact that there are but 80 days
in this month"; there will be more swearing
done on account Of the persistent fly than for
any month in the year.
"Oh Civ us il rest said sleepy individual,
as he was reused from his nap on a doorstep
by Il policeman. That's just what | am going
| to do, give you arrest And before he got the
Joke through his head he was going up the long
hill TO cali on sam.
A western paper contains the startling an
nouncement that Harriet Beecher Stowe has
gone into poultry" Now what in the name
of five hundred men and oxen do you suppose
she went in for? Down this way we reverse
the thing, ana the poultry goes into u.s.
There Were iu~t ten Of them, and ten drinks
OF soda would be dollar. One Of them spake
mp and said-' Boys. lets 90 in and have some
soda" And they went in and ordered their
syrup, and drank their soda and wiped their
mouths. fhei. the one who invited them IN
pulled out his pocket book ana laid down Il ten
cent scrip. and stepped TO the door and com
menced Whistlmg the Skdmore Guards, and
nine men commenced hunting for nine more
ten cent srrps, with which 10 pay for nine
glasses of soda. Ana now there are nine more
recruits who firmly believe in The doctrine Of
total dcpravitv.
He WAS Grooming \ HORSE. TO stand 10y
and see Il man groom and curry horse looks
very simple. Any man who can rub his nose
when it itches feels confident that he can clean
Il horse. There is not in al! America to day Il
boy that has not read how George Washngton'S
white horse was kept 50 clean that George could
rub his white glove over the horses glossy coat
and no speck of dirt would soil the glove. II we
are not too late, just let us tell those little boys
that although George didn't lie himself the man
that invented that story did and he has prob
ably gone. ere this, to that place where liars get
warmed up at no expense To themselves, and
has repented Of his crime, we hope Jones
bought horse last week, and was going to
take care of him himself He would groom
and feed him and take the whole charge of the
carriage and harness. lie got the horse late
one afternoon, and gave him good drive after
supper to loosen mp the dlndruIf and start the
hair" Jones didn't know any more about a
horse than hen does about giving milk, but
he had been reading book, and calculated he
knew the whole thing. When he put him up.
after giving him drive that made the sweat
run out of him like water from the nose Of Il
sprnkling pot, he rubbed him down well with
straw and left his hair all standing up straight,
forgetting to lay it back i'll place when he was
done. He then put him in his stall, bedded
him down, fed him. and retired to bed. Early
the next morning he was up and donned his
barn uniform, which consisted Of Il pair of old
oyersh0es, a pair Of drilling oyeralls and Il
long blue drilling garment that resembcd an
overgroWn shirt as much as anything. ON his
head he had IN old felt hat, and on his hands a
pair Of gauntlet gloves.
Going into the stall he backed Ned out into
the floor and hitched the end of the halter into
llng, giving scope enough for Ned to Stat his
head in good shape The flies Were just getting
up as Jones entered the barn, and they did NOT
stop to wash their face or comb their hair but
gathered around Jones and the horse, deter
mined to assist him all they could. Selling the
curry comb he commenced work on the head of
yer, we'll, he shifted his position and commenced
ii the other end of the beast, and scratched away
like :, hen digging for worms. The dust and
hair flew in every direction, the most of it, it
seemed TO Jones, going in his mouth and eyes,
and he spit and rubbed hi> eyes with his knuck-
les till he could hardly see. He got along nobiV
ON the body of the horse and had met with no
mishal1s till he got to the neck. As he was cnr-
rving there fly lit on the horses fore shoulder
ana Nttl turned ms Htau UuItk ana Ill TO-
ing 50 struck Jones such clip with his nose
that he sat down on the floor without looking
to see if there was anything to sit on. Next to
being struck by Lightning, there is nothing that
will level a man quicker than to be hit with Il
horses head There is no more meat on it than
there is on Il hitcling post, and it brushes YOU
like a Spite driver. Jumping up with II "what
! i.
rap with the carr, comb which made the hon -,
describe circle on the barn tloof, and in max
ing it he CHANGED to step on Jones foot. WHO
graspng the bruised member in both hands
danced round the barn bowling with rage and
pain Finally, he got the curryi ng completed.
and the dust ali brushed on when il occurred
to him that he ought TO wash Neds legs and
tail. So he got a pail Of water and a sponge
and a piece OF CASTLE soap, rolled up MS sleeves
and then considered what he would wash first.
The tail seemed TO be III the majority, 50 he
thought he would tackle that He had seen the
ho,tler> do that job, so he knew Just how to 20
to work. Holding the pail under the horses
tail he raised it up till the hair was all nicely
soaked and then let down the pail again and set
il one side. just as he turned back again an
other fly lit on the side of the horse, and he
gave his tail switch ut the fly. lie missed the
fly but hit Jones fair in the face, the wet hair
cutting into ii a. if some one had hit him with
Il Wire SEW. With thunder and spikes" he
grabbed Il hoe, and half blinded by the dirty
water that was running down his face, and
down his neck and back, he went for the horse
and succeeded in getting in several good licks
the first round, but in his rage he forgot the
pail, and in dancing round he stepped on the
edge of it and over it tipped, upsetting Jones,
while most the water ran into his shoes. and
the balance he carefully mopped up with the
seat Of his oyeralls, he rolled round on the
barn floor He was now nearly frantic, and
with "cuss it all" he jumped up and grabbing
the pail gave it a sling through the window, eN-
claiming as it crashed through the glass, "dol
rot if Ia SIunp that thrOuph SUDuoSp if il n nd