Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-07-21
THOSE CIRCUS BILLS.


THOSE CIRCUS BILLS.
An Old I4ady's Opinion of the Frauds.
From the Detroit Free Press.
She had one in her hand as she came
UP stairs, and she didn say word un-
til after she wiped her spectacles,
placed them on. her nose. unfolded the
bill, and read few Of the headlines.
She was old-fashioned in look. There
were strings to her bonnet, she had no
hustle, her gray hair was combed down
smoothly, and there were only eleven
yards in her black alpaca dress.
"Young man, don't you know that
circuses are awful liars and humbugs?"
she finally inquired.
The man at the table leaned back in
his chair, and refused to express his
opinion.
'sWell, I know it." she continued in
positive tone, ssand I believe they git
wus every day. Now see here listen
to this: "A gorgeous panorama of amaz-
ing wopders-a gigantic combination of
ASTONISHING acrobatic talent. That's all
right Oh the poster, but hev they got
'em? I'd like to see one O. them ami
mails"
"Youre laboring under mistake,
madam. It means grand display of
natural curiosties, and informs the pub
lie that the proprietor has secured many
first. class accrobats-the chaps who
stand on their heads, turn head over
heels, and cut up SO many mon
key-shines."
ssIt does, ell ?" she mused, "waal, do
you believe it takes smart person to
keel over?'
"Well, one has to have good deal
of training,
"They do, Ell ?" she remarked, as
she put her umbrella in the corner and
spit on her hands; "I'll show you that
you are deceived I'm an old woman,
and if I can t-?"
Madam, hold on-don't do it 7"
exclaimed the man behind the table.
81 can flop right over there and never
shake my bonnet T. she said as she
rose up.
81 know you can, madame, but
don't. am here alone, and il don't
want you to. I'd rather you wouldn't.
IF you are determined on it shall leave
the room -
"Well, you know I can do it, and
that's enough. You may be right
about what that means, but see here
hear this: 'The highway ablaze with
Respondent chariots- grandest
pageant on earth I've been to lots of
circuses, young man, and [ never saw a
pageant yet. If they had one the door
of his cage wasn't open"
"You are also in error there. The
bill refers to the fact that the great
number of wagons, chariots, ETC., make
sight worth seeing as they pass along
tie street."
"Um-m-m," she muttered as she
folded the bill over; 81 don't see why
they couldn't have said so then. And
now see here-read that: 'Sig. Gov
inoff, in his aerial flights. Now, then,
is that boa constructor or cundu-
rango?"
L cit is man, madam-one of the per
formers. His real name is probably
Jones, but that amt grand enobgh, and
so they put him down as Sig. Govinof.
He is the man who jumps off rope,
turns over twice, and comes down all
right. ~
"He is, Ell? Well. if he's got an
idea that he's the smartest man alive
I want to disappoint him. I never did
try to turn over twice, but I'll do it
right here now or break my neck ! Git
the things of.n that tai, tsble ).
/ nave you do it so,. sfs,x1o11stTs.
"Just once %
!" For heavens sake, madam, get down
Off this table-here-her a dollar
| if you won't do it y
81 don't want your money, and I
won't try it if you are so scarf, but I
don't want no circus going round talk
ing about aryal flights and deceiving
the people p
She sat down, the young man wiped
the sweat off his brow, and presently
she remarked:
'sAnd here's another thing, right
here. "A sparkling asterisk, flashing
across the field of the cloth of gold
Monsieur Gometique in the great delin-
cations of human character I'd like
to know who she is. %
Madam, that is a mana man who
delineates character
"How?"
Why he makes up faces-expresses
uuIGu, oOAAOWs JOJ, nuO ~ 1OIGu.
"He does, eh2 Well, what's that to
blow about Make up faces = see
here
And she shut her eyes, ran her tongue
out, and looked like the bottom of a
brass kettle which had been kicked in
by mule.
"They are humbugs, sir !" she said
as she drew her tongue in, ''and dye
suppose I'll pay fifty cents to go to
one ?"
"They are quite entertaining as a
general tEing.'
They are, Ell? Entertaining, eh?
Well, if can't do more entertaining in
five minutes than a circus can in all day
I'll leave my bonnet up here Here,
hold on to the chair -
Madam, I earnestly hope you are
not going to perform any tricks"
g / hain't, eh2 You just hold on to
the legs of this chair -