Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1875-02-25
UsHERED INTO SOCIETY,"
WHAT IT COST.

eeiftCo III OAS vi eASA CHuiCheo oli VIC
Sunday previous to New Years day,
when a lady with whom I was slightly
acquainted spoke to me. bowed. as
politely as 1 knew how in return, and
she remarked, 81 will be, pleased to
have you call on New Years Day"
/ knew this lady made some pre-
tensions to fashion, l knew her husband
had collected several bogus claims from
the general government, I knew they
must move in social sphere far above
the circle Of my humble acquaintances
l had seen her husband in company
with back pay members, Mobilier oper'
ators, contractors, and others. constitu-
ting the most aristocratic society OF
Washington.
To make New Years call at this
lady's house was among the thousands
Of things which might have done on
that day-the very thing, above all
others, which I should have left undone
But alas for human fraiity, I decided to
call.
That was busy week with me, from
Sunday 20 Thursday. I had to get my
old black coat cleaned my hat ironed
my boots mended. had to borrow
an overcoat and buy new shirt.
1t was near two o'clock on the event
full day before I had completed my
toilet; and as is usually the case, my
anticipations in regard to my outfit
were not realized. The friend who
was to lend me his oyercoat did not
come to time, ard consequently an
oyercoat did not form any portion of
my attire; but the day was not very
cold, and I INDUCED in the consoling
delusion that the aristocracy would
infer that I had any number Of oyers
coats at home.
The great fight was in getting Oh
gloves. I am not a member. l am
not an office holder. I am a newer of
God and a drawer of water. l am
one of those whom tate compels to
contribute life of toll to the comfort
and luxury of others. We make many
wealthy, but our own allowance is just
sufficient to enable us to continue our
work. My hands are large, strong and
rough. l bought the largest pair of
gloves in the store, and the hend who
sold them to me assured me they were
''plenty large" After much exertion
and some profanity I succeeded in
getting them on, but not until had
torn large hole in each glove; the
edges of these holes spread open like
the swollen lips of an incised wound,
while my red hand prolTE,ded from the
rent like proud flesh. My fingers in
these gloves looked like links of sausa
ges / could not close my hand. A
friend remarked as I was leaving my
boarding~ho that would make a
good sign for second hand clothing
store. That friend still carries his nose
in sling.
When I reached the house was
rendered little nervous by observing
several carriages at the door with
liyeried transfers on the seats. A
colored man answered my pull at the
bell knob. After hunting through
every pocket ! succeeded in finding a
piece of paper on which I had written
my name the servant received it on
waiter, and I followed him into the
hall.
Now I expected this card of mine
would at least announce me- would
inform The lady Of the house that had
accepted her invitation. Imagine my
disgust when | saw the servant throw
it on the hat rack and walk off, leaving
me to my fate. Upon turning around
1 found I was standing in the parlor
door in full view of the company. I
felt confused. tried to scratch my
head, but could not bend nay fingers.
l did not know what to do. I saw
several heaps of thin white material
with quantity of gaudy ribbons scat
tered throughout the mass. These OBJ
jects l took to be the ladies and I was
right. In the meantime was block,
ing up the doorway, people could
neither get in or out, and movement
1 must make in some direction. I
stepped forward into the room for the
purpose of paying my obeisance to the
ladies, which I thought would be a
very polite thing. l placed my stiff
hand on my SHIFT bosom and bowed.
My shirt cracked like apiece of frozen
oil cloth. When I came to an erect
position I found the lady had left me
and was cackling to some spruce young
rooster in the corner.
l approached the SECOND lady; she
commenced tanning with great violence,
and said something about low people
to man in white kids. I then tired
the third she looked stone blind, her
eyes were CLASSY, and seemed to be
looking at something through me. /
was about to approach the fourth when
she walked away, and found myself
in corner Of the room near a tall
young lady in pink ribbons By this
time had regained what little sense ]
,;ossess. and was comparatively neg~