Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1875-08-12
WARNING TO INEBRlATEH.
lh"y Had Better Keep Away frN1n thai
De trOit Police. Court.
From th2 Detroit l'ree Press.

III looks I2 II we SlONiU nave q shower.
remarked his Honor as he changed coats and
took his seat.
Tina, makes me tAinl. Of my dream,' re-
piled Bijah as he busted the chairs with his
coattall. u dreamed that was caught out
IN 3 shower, and
His Honor rose up, looked behind the door
and looked pale, as he exclaimed:
81 left MY umbrella there the other morn
ing, and now it's gone"
Can il be possible?" whispered the old
iani:or.
''Bijah, haven't many years 10 live, con-
tinued his Honor; ''but I won't die until that
umbrella is found. / do not say that you took
that umbrella away and paWned il, but it must
come back--it must be returned. You hear
me, don't you, BUah?'
Haven't you known me for fourteen
years?" protested the officer.
.'Yes, sir. but that was new umbrella
''Don't bear good reputaton:"
''Pretty fair, but that rain-shedder must
come back"
''Do look like q thief"
''No, sir; but bring back my umbrella, il
you wan to save costs.
And Bijah went around the room, banging
the chairs and growing, and his honor shut
his teeth together hard as he looked at the
black cloud rising in the south.
WANDEEER.
Joseph Mudoon had scarcely touched the
mark when lie informed the Court that he
was not only poor orphan, without a rela-
tive in the world, but that he belonged in
Canada.
II can't help it if you belonged in Color
ado" replied the Court; ''you shall have
fair trial, and truth and justice shall stand out
here like freckles Oh a Chicago woman's nose
Are you guilty."
II took drop, sir
'Where did you drop from?"
81 mean that slipped a little brandy, sir,
and it flew to my head"
'Joseph Muldoon native Of Canada, you've
spoken truly said his Honor. ''The brandy
flew to your head, you flew to an alley, and
the police flew to you. 1t was flying time.
Do you make practice Of drinking poor
brandy:'
No, sir; l drink whisky as 8 general
thing"
"Yes-um--yes," mused his Honor, as he
looked over at the grinning Bijah "Well,
III seques!er you.
Thanks, sir, thanks"
II don't want any thanks. ! said I'd Sc
ouester YOU for thirty days"
~ am greatly obliged. sir, and I'll go now
right off.
''Sir don't you know what sequester
means?" exclaimed the Court.
Eyes, sir, and Ill be in Canada in ten min
utes."
Bijah grinned.
The Clerk grinned.
The reporters anXiously waited.
"Mr. joy, let this man out" continued the
Court, as ne looked up from bis papers, land
warn him that he'll catch it if ever be comes
within 3G miles of Detroit again.
A VENERABLE PINE.
September johnson, why do you appear
at this barr" asked his Honor Of the next
man-s dsrkey so old that his head was white
and his limbs weak.
ITO git away" was the reply.
And how many policemen were engaged
in your arrest?'
"One, sah."
"Only one? Why, l thought it must have
taken dozen to bring you in. Well, 80 you
were drunk"
NO, sab; was tired"
mir. johnson, you are very near the yawn-
ing tomb. You are in the December of your
life. If you live to see the Centennial open
you'll be forgotten by Ill men before another
comes. Standing there, one foot in the grave,
as it were. your white hair a signal-tlag that
you are nearly ready to sail across the mystic
river, can you lie to me?"
II was a little drunk, replied the prisoner,
after moments reflection.
That's better, Mr.. johnson. You have
clean look, and hope that your path down
the valley Of death may have terrore. You
may 60, Mr.. johnson, and if were yon Id
stick to weak tea and barley water and let
strong drink alone"
II will, sah," replied the old chan. "a he
hobbled away.
YOUNG OAK.
'Loafng around. eh?" inquired the Court,
as John Brown was led out. -
I've tried for q job" growled the prison.