Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-04-23
Going to Maria
NAN WHO HAD EVIDENTLY TRAY


IRON the ST. Joseph Mo Herald
Just at this time there is lively
competition among railroad agsnts to
secure travel over their respective
lines. Rates East have been cut,
travel has increased in consequence,
and each Western road wants to have
its full share.
Yesterday a portly, pleasant-look-
ing old gentleman came in on the
train from the north, and started up
Francis street, carpet-sack i'll hand.
He was evidently II farmer, and
probably belonged to the Grangers.
At this precise tuncture L. NJ. Dunn,
Ticket Agent of the st. Louis, Kansas
City and Northern Line, happened to
be glancing out of his window, and
saw the traveller and his carpet-sack.
He met him halfway between Long
Branch and the Pacific, and com
menced as follows:
"Going East, sir::"
eyes," was the reply.
"Ah! Step right up to the Union
Ticket Office. Great through line,
sir. Land you in New York sixteen
hours in advance of amy other route.
Finest sleeping and dining cars in
the world. Chickens three times Il
day, and beds free from vermin. But
ter on two plates, and m lasses all
over the table. Come right along
sir"
The inn cent countrynan walked
along Il few steps, when Maj. J. Il.
Laughlin, Ticket Agent of the Hah-
nibal and St. Joseph railroad, greet
ed him atfectiona'cly with:
"Going East, sir?"
"Ycs," again.
"Glal to meet You. Step right
into the office. Shortest line 10y
by thirty-threc miles to New York
put you there nine hours ahead OF
any other line. Finest eatins-houses
in the world. Soup three times Il day,
and feas cxpe,led from he sleepcls
daily. Come in, sir"
Before the astonished conntryinan
could recover from his bewildermen'
ut these sudden and unexpected man
ifestations of interest in Ills welfare,
Dan Mountain, of the Kansas City
St. Joseph and Council Bluffs, tack
led him with:
"Going East, sir??"
"D-n it, yes!'' (rather curtly.)
"Tm just the man you want to see
Come along with me. Office not on
corner Best and shortest route uy a
long shot to any point. Put you
through in jiffy. Splendid sleepers
Goldfish balls for breakfast. Con
ductors all of pious and respectable
parentage, fires kept up constantly
Come along, sir"
The unfortunate man was com
pletely dumfounded, and before he
could recover, Laughlin had him by
one arm, Mountain by the other, while
Dunn clung tightly to the coat-tail
and he was hustled into the Hannibal
and st. Joe office, where another par
ley took place.
"What point are you going to?'
was asked by three disinterested in
diviluals simultaneously.
"Gom' to Maria
Instantly three railroad maps were
jerked out, and for full fifteen
minutes three pairs OF eyes inspected
them closely. Then each pair OF
eyes looked at the other, and finally
all centered on the gentleman from
the rural districts. Then the ques
ton was asked by three persons:
"Where is Maria?''.
"Where's Maria? Why | spose
she's tn hum. Maria's my wife, and
lives six miles east of town, and If
didn't want to go to her, where the
h-ll would l want to go:"
Three railroad maps were put up
quicker than lightning, and i'll less
than two minutes time Dunn wa.
seated in his office consulting Al
abominable old pipe, Dan Mountain
was busily engaged in admirins Lou
Thomps"n's magnificent new four
story plug hat, and Maj. Langhli
was calmly contemplating the pros
pectivc arrival of the next street car
The man bound fur "Maria" left il
one OF Fish & Hutchlson's slcigas.