Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-07-01
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

VARIETY AND hUMOk.
The wandering heiress-The wind lass
Filth, disease and moral death are as.
sociated together in all times and places
Prof. II. II. Palmer's Musical Insti-
tute at Dunkirk, n Y, begins July 10,
and holds four weeks.
Among thousand boys with their
hats OIL, you can always tell the one whose
hair has been cut by his mother, by the
Jagged expression Of his face also of his
hair
"A boy who is not strong enough to
spade up small onion bed between now
and the Fourth of July will dig over
tenacre lot before breakfast looking for
bait. Rome Se3,tine
Buffalo has taken step in the right
direction in instructing the proper authori-
ties to examine into the means of exit
from public buildings, school houses,
chambers and places of resort.
1t is plain principle of natural
philosophy that a young lady who is so
very, very i'll that she can't wash the
dishes viii bang piano for four straight
hours and never feel any bad effects
On the Sauceito boat, yesterday, we're
two men returning from a picnic Both
were somewhat the worse for contact with
the spirits. One imagined himself sober,
slowed around toward his companion, and
said, with severity Look here, if I'm
goin to be your brotherin law | want you
to keep straight. Ala California.
When the grasshoppers get on the rail
road tracks out West the engineers do not
go along in front and brush them off, but
cruelty run over, mash and deprive them
of life. But by this process the tracks
get oily, the wheels lose their grip and
the train is detained. Thus is justice
avenged, though Bergh resides 5000 miles
away.
The New York Star says "Capt.
William III. Brown committed suicide on
Friday by cutting his throat, and he did
it for love. If rumors be true, he was en-
gagged to the young lady in New Orleans
who has since become the wife of Phil.
Sheridan. She sent Brown n ring with
BE satisfied upon it. Brown swallowed
the ring, but was not satisfied He then
cut his throat. Poor fclloww
The statement that salt sprinkled on
garden vegetables will keep grasshoppers
away turns out to be something like that
notion that saltpeter would drive away
cockroaches. When a prospecting grass
hopper finds garden with salt in 1t, he
Immediately telegraphs back for the old
grasshoppers and the little ones, and they
bring all their relatives and friends along,
and they have the most uproarious kind ola
picnic until the premises are cleaned out.
"A Michigan avenue wdowcr con-
cluded the other day that he would marry.
He got two ladies seriously thinking over
the matter, and gave one week to decide
on a matrimonial proposition. The day
day following he saw a buxom widow got
wild over her many charming qualities,
and by the time the week went around
married her The other two are now
dreadfully sorry that they did not mani
fest more interest in the widower. Detroit
free Press.
Only female spiders spin webs. They
own all the real estate, and the males have
to live vagabond life, under stones and
in other obscure places, and if they are
troublesome about the house they are
| mercilessly killed and eaten. The skin
of the spider is tough and unyielding, and
is shed like the shells of Holsters and crabs,
to accommodate the animals growth. II
you poke over the rubbish in female
spiders back yard, among the cast-off cor
sets you will find the jackets of the males
who have paid for their socality with
their lives-trophies of her barbarsm, as
truly as scalps show the savage nature ofthc
red man.
The following address was recently
delivered at the funeral of a San Francis.
60 !ypc-sct:er Eur brother, Nj. John
Harlan, is dead. His last letter is distrib
uted, his case is emptied, his stick is
full, the last line is spaced out and the
clicking of the type is no more heard by
his hand. A paragraph is made, period
| is put in his last proof is taken, his
galley cleared, his form is made up and
lies upon the cold imposing silent,
| hfcess. His faults are set in diamond
and pied, so that no more proofs can be
taken. His virtues are set in siy-line plea,
colored, framed and hung on the walls of
memory, never to be forgotten. BE
warned and be ready. Correct your proof"