The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-03-06
Nevada Society.
A FASHION REPORTER PUF THROUGH A COURSE or
APoLoGETIc EXPERIENCE.

A FASHION REPORTER Per THROUGH A COURSE or
APoLoGETIC EXPERIENCE.
The fashion reporter of an Austin City, New,
paper described the belle of the masquerade ball
In the following astounding language: 1.-The
most gorgeous, stunning, high-toned, richest,
frstest-classest, incest, or any other adjective for
costume in the : outfit was that worn by Miss
frankie Clarke. She was the highfalutinest,
gavest, and gausest-dressed gal in the room. She
appeared as a page, and she was a page that no
man would leave any other'to read. Both in cos
tune and action she was as perfect as a big sun
flower" A couple of days after the appearance
of the notice, into the editorial room of the pa
per stalked a young man. His brow was wrapped
in thunder, his body in a suit of tweed, and his
hands clasped a big lump of hickory. He pulled
a paper out of his pocket, and pointing his finger
to the paragraph, said " want ter see the man
as wrote that ere." rr
81 am the individual - replied the person.
" Wat did yer 60 and do it for, that's what
want to know ~ so, because l thought you'd
like to see your girl made out one of the most
bewitching females that was ever sent on earth
to keep a man from his hash and drive balmy
sleep from his pillow" SHOW, look here. Ever
since that was published / can't get a word out
on her. She sets in front of the looking glass
and keeps a gain on herself, and maxim squint
eyes at her dress, and pickering up her mouth,
and actin as if she were a blasted sight better'n
anybody else. / want this ERE thing liked, or
there'n be an editors Situation vacant" He
looked significantly ct the club. For a moment
the reporter stood IN profound thought; then his
face frightened, and he said. III Ak it in next
weeks paper. After you have seen the next
issue. call and tell me the result The young
man left. In the next weeks paper appeared the
following paragraph
A CoRREcTIoN.-We made a grave mistake in
our issue of last week. In our description of
the masquerade ball We accidentally substituted
the name of Miss frankie Clarke for that Of Miss
George Waller. ANY one who is acquainted
with the frst-named lady must have discovered
the error. 1t is true that she appeared for what
was intended as q page, but she looked q good
deal more like q boot-blacki in hard luck. She is
not good-looking, her actions were absurd, and
eyery man in the room kept as far from her as
possible. She thinks of moving out of this COM
munity, as it's unappreciative. When she goes
she will be escorted out of town by a brass band.
The people OF Austin Will gladly miss her from
among Them" -
The next day the young man entered the office.
In his hand he bore a rife, and his belt was or
namented with a big six-shooter and a tremend-
GUS bowie-knife. he sailed up to the reporter
81 look w~ar-like, don't L? L don't feel a bit like
6ghtin', you bet. You jest oughter have seen
her when she read that correction. Why, she
lest danced q Jig with madness, and she sot down
and cried, and then she come up and threw her
arms around my neck, and said . Arthur, do
YOU love me- 2 You bet your best bonnet on
that said /. well, never expect me to speak
~ yOA N6
wot writ that SANDER In course l promised.
And here 1 am to kill you" He laughed long
and heartily. After q time he quieted down, and
the reporter said 81 suppose, in order to make
it all right 1 must be a corpse. I'll do it. Sit
there a minute, and III fix the business" He
sat down at a desk, and scrubbed away for a few
minutes, and then returned with q sheet of paper,
on which was written.
"oBIruARY.-It grieves US to be compelled to
announce the sudden death Of Mr.. Charles KEEL
Ter, the young and talented fashion editor. In a
moment of mental alteration he had slandered
an ~estimable, accomplished, and beautiful young
lady Of this city, named Miss frankie Clarke.
Yesterday her betrothed called at this Office and
asked for the author Of the Islander, and, when
he discovered him, shot him dead on the spot.
This paper will be unable to give fashion gossip
hereafter. We find it impossible to fill the place
left vacant by Mr.. Keller. Though cratic, he
was a man Of kindly heart, and could listen more
attentiveIy to stale stories, and drink more bad
whiskey, than any man in Austin. R. l. P"
"That's your sort, said the Infatuated lover,
'' That's the thing to a T.. Come along, Mr..
Corpse, and hist a little lightning" The lady
was satisfied when the paragraph appeared in
the next issue Of the paper, her lover was regard
ed as q hero, and the Austin paper ceased TO give
reports of fashionable balls.