The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-04-29
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS,

Motto for a mathematician-Adsu
-Women's Rites-The marriage cere.
mony.
"A signal success-The weather re-
ports.
"A Danbury girl has Tilted her young
man for putting four "e's'' in precede.
Sorrow and gladness are blood rela-
lions. Think of the sharp thorns on tho
rose.
An Albany sharper ha, swindled
Brigham Young's son John with bogus
title-deed.
Why are advertisements like editors ?
Well, because they work nights and Sun
days.
lis there any law against striking an
attitude,
When hog roots in snow-bank its
nose knows SHOWS.
1T has been ascertained that hard.
boiled eggs are healthy.
Whether bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush depends upon the nature
of the bird.
An attempt is being made in st. Louis
to suppress the State lottery of Mis-
souri,.
| One woman of mental activity can, if
she has any ambition, keep ten families
miserable eleven months in the year.
"A belle upon asked her fathers pro-
fession said he "embal lined pork" she
believed. He was bacon curer.
Every good deed that we do is not
only present pleasure, but a prop for the
future.
-"Poor man! He'll never help put
down any more carpets!' was the eulogy
pronounced upon dead Kentuckian.
1T has been ascertained that Holsters
are influenced by the music of piano.
How would brass band probably affect a
grizzly?
-Grasshoppers are creeping out from
under the barns to see if the farmers have
any more fence-rails ready for them to
lunch on.
"A Boston reporter who wrote touch
ing obituary notice of deceased citizen
won the widows heart by his gushing
words, and now he is worth $1,000
Forty samples of New York vinegar
were tested the other day and each con.
tanned dangerous acids and poisons; but
what would greens be without vinegar?
A French critic says that American
bellies display many times day toilets
sufficient to ruin twenty husbands. .
They get them from France, though.
"A Virginia farmer said that carpet.
looked handsome on floor, but hi
couldn't afford to hire some one to carry {
carpet out doors every time he wanted t.
spit.
Eighteen women in q Massachusetts
town recently cowhided man for kicking
his wife, and the job was so we'll done tina
he hasn't been able to split wood for fou
weeks.
Things are pretty we'll matched in thi
world, so far as taking comfort goes, an(
we begin to believe that, high and low, al
have their tribulations. Fishes are hooked
worms are trodden on, birds are fired at
Worry is everywhere. Poor mems wives
worry because the bread won't rise, or TIN
stove won't draw, or the clothes-lin
breaks, or the milk burns, or the pane o
glass is mended with putty, or they can
afford to hire help. Rich mems wive
worry because the preserve dish isn't O
the latest pattern, or because somebod
finds out how pretty dress is trimmed be
fore the party happens, or because som
grandee's wife overlooks them, or becaus
their help sauces 'em, breaks up tea sets
spoils dinners, gets drunk, and cuts u
sheets into underclothes. Causes vary
but worry averages the same. The seal
of miles is different on different maps, bu
places remain just so far apart, and so d
humanity and content.-Hone Journal.