, 1875-01-03
Old :n1c Safnxcy,s E:gnG a1ent With thu
feocEl1,.Chats.

| 0ld:H1c SafuZcr's Ea:gnG~a1e With tha
fsoctzas7-.Chats.
| From khs Cs!a..3.a Journal
Old hc Singer was gc;1g to bed . little wavy
the other night, aud not wihh;ng to disturb cfrs-
h1c Singer, who haa nsus ike rat-sa-l dis,
hs thong;t it Just vol NOT to turn tla gAs:
He got a:oas very wel until ha rsscAed the
door OF tho chamber whe-o bic patient wife 1&J
sleeping. Eore ha paused a moment, balancing
% his heels Gka poio On q jusgler'e noae.
/ Then be made 4 dlsh for it. In orlsr 10 mako =
tea limo acroag the floor. Mrs. uc St;pgar, with
her uaual exemplary fostitutlo, had riaccd tho
rocking. chair Hiti sach esftsd skid that no ma,
could come ;rto tho room without running orat
it; 30 the frst :h:ng he kuaw Aic Singer stahtel
his tce-nail oil aga.1st the rocker, which k1ocx-
ed the Eaat against t,e crAzr bone of his knee,
e:eE,aell. simultaneously he fell over tho chai1
croesEice and it lickaj lin tehiud his back be-
fose he ceud get MP tro:1 the floor 6s hs stood
On all f@:s,s. TIE engagement vss new fcIlJ
opened. Whsu 1Dsn begins falling over 4
rocking ctair in dark roam h5 oaght always
to hava three days rstions aud fo.ty rounds.
Before Nc Singer co1ll get up ssreish hia knea
CONS dcso on ono It tsc loag rockers beiiua.
snd tho bsek Of t:1s ctsr e.nla doan m hia head
with = xhask tbss laid hin cut :tAt on tbs Haor;
three times n the tenderest part OF his rihs with
tho sharp end OF tho locker. This ruada him
perfectly Ffurious, and he scrambled MP and
made blind rush A. tbs CHAIR. determined to
blow up tho enonys works. He ran squsra
against tbs back and it rocked forward with him,
turning szcoms.le.e so7aersanlt over tho handles,
throwing Mc Singer BALI ua7 acr3ss tho room
and landing On top Of him, digging into his ab-
domen ike bulls aoruH, as he lar spread out
on tho under side. It woutl have been q good
thing fer dc stngerif he had laid still then and
lot the CHAIR hava its own way. It lay fist On
its back, with the long points Of the rockers
embracing bis abdomen, and Gidn's seem to want
to do anything sctive inst than But Mc 5tin-
ger couldn't make np his mind TO giya it uD ~:
He rol!sd over sideways and upset The chair.
It fell With crash on it's side. giyiEz him =
furions dig in the liver, which made him straight
en ont his legs spa5aoodical1y, barking ona shin
from the icstep to tho knee on the rocker which
hung the air, and setting the cbair on its feat
ward hiu. ike wary old ram Masking feints
OF buttlng ita adve1sa7, in order to throw him
OF lis guard, Tbs blow in the side noa.ly
finished BIC Singer, and while lying thera rub
bing his wind back again. be was Just beginning
to reflect whether his honor required him to pro-
coed any further in the affair, uhan A{rs- No
Singer Suddenly began screaming all the names
in ths crimes act, under the smprassiou that ths
Charley Ross abdactofs were trviog to commit
burglary, bigamy; robbery, and avery thing ela
On her. Up to this time she had been apcech-
1ess with terror, and had lain there trembling,
shedding pernpiration and accunulating shrak-
ink power. untlll sbe had gained the screAmina
capacity Of 8 came1-back engine. She had just
70 ached her third storzdndo foTtissimo acceer.
d,,do, and mas beginning 70 wouder whethea
khere uas = God in israe, wheu old bIc Stinget
succeeded in getting to his faat ooce more and
became dimIy visible to Mrs Nc Singer. With
ons last Wild parting sliriea she spsang from ths
bed and mada dash for tho door, near Which
tho rocking chair atill stood rnoraciaY the vhula
universe with busting caotion. Mrs. Nc Stin-
ger had no time for investigation just then, and
she pitched into and over the rockiog- chair an1
clear On down stairs, te chair after her, turning
over and oTer, and kicking afrs- SIC Singer every
bump until thsy both landed ia the hall below,
vhere the chair broke all to atoms. This endad
the fight.
II wives will learn from this sad st,ry not ia
1ea7e rocking-cha1rs atAutIing around the middle
Of the room for their poor husbands to fall ovaEe
Ne shall not have v1't1ea IN vain
"You have \ pleasant home aud bright fire.
side, with happy children sitting ar:uod it.
haven't you ?" said the Judes. Yes air." sail
Mr. Thompson, who tll1usht ho sav way out
Of the difficulty. "We1l" said the Judge. "if
the happv child1en sit around. the cheerful fre-
side until you return. they will stsy thesa fu4t
forty-th1ee days, as shall have t0 send you up
for that time."-Cincinnah Times.
A witty Washington laJv wss introduced to
foppish young fellow who Was afflicted with 4
constant cough, and after abort conversation
said to him rather abraI:iy, ''Aro you not
hack-naa?"
Three sisters OF Dubuque arc 10 set in their
temperance principles tha: they make tha hired
girl smell the breath Of every gentleman c4ilsr