The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1875-04-29
Anecdotes Of Doctors.

dies and affected MISSES ne IL salu 70
have been an amiab]e man, beloved of his
family and friends. But to tiresome pa
tents and nualad es imagimairs, he was
1t times the preservation of rudencss:
"Sir, that's enough; 60 home and read
nv book To alay who complained Of
low spirits he would say: s'Don't come to
me, 20 and buy skipping rope" Some
times, however, he met his match. Cur.
ran one day came to consult him and was
rather diffuse in describing the symptoms
of his disorders. "Sir," said Abernethy, |
ssyou had better tell me your whole life
Upon which Curran sat down and serious
" began: II was born in the year -,
in the county Of --, Ireland, and
Abernethy burst into laugh and entered
properly into his case. A lady determin-
ed to be brief. and to humor the tyrant
one day entered his consulting room, and.
thrusting out an injured hand. merely
said: my thumb, SIR 'You. madam,
he exclaimed in admiration, 'sare the only
sensible woman I ever had for patient
A gentleman, equally determined,
being roughly interrupted, suddenly
locked the door, put the key in his pocket
and insisted on being heard. Abernethy
smiled, and complimented the patient on
his resolution. To gentlemen who gave
him twenty pounds to re.attend his wife.
he said:s care you the fool who gave me
twentyspounds the other day! Go home
and ten your wife to dine earlier and eat
less; and do you keep your money in
your pocket, for no Doctors advice is
worth twenty pounds To a lady he
said, severely: sGo home and tell your
husband that he will not have wife this
day six MONTHS -
Abernethy was no respector fpersons.
Poor or rich, his patients had to submis'
sively take their turns, or they might 60
elsewhere. An angry nobleman once
broke into his room, aud stated his rank
and position in full, and asked
Abernethy if he knew who he was. TOT
this Abernethy replied: Sand I, sir, am
John Abernethy, surgeon-lccturer Of
St. Bartholomew Hospital, ETC.; and if
you wish to consult me, am now ready
to hear what you have to say in return,
SIR" The Duke Of Wellington, angry at
having to wait his turn, abruptly entered
his room. Aberhethy asked him how he
had entered. "By the door, sir. =" ''Then,
said the irascible doctor, II recommend
you to make your exit the same way"
lie is also said to have refused to attend
George Nv. till his lecture at the hospital
was over. The point on which Abernethy
most insisted was the stomach. and
through that important organ he declared
that all diseases could be cured. The
celebrated biscuit which he used to eat
and recommended were not SO called
from him, but from the baker who first
invented them. That there was kindness
In Abernethy, who can deny who remem-
bers the story Of how he returned all his
fees to poor poor widow who had con-
suited him. and added fifty pounds to en-
able her to give her sick child q daily
ride! He had q horror Of operations, and
reioiced when the evil could be averted
without such rough and terrible reme-
dies.
We must not forget to enroll among
our doctors the poet doctor, Akcnside,
ures of the Imagination" poem which
Pope admired and eulogised. Akensidc
is described by one Of his biographcrs as
. bundle of contradiction. By turns he
was placid, irritable-simple, affected
gracious, haughty-mean, bepevolent--kind
and brutal. He is described rs thin, pale
and lame. He was rough to women, and
sometimes paced the hospital preceded
by porters with brooms, to drive back
the crowd. The poets classical tastes
were ridisu!ed by Smollett in Peregrine
Pickle; nor can We wonder at Smollett't
ridicule when we read the stories of AIKEN
sides aourncss and arrogance. 1.-The bull
He'd his poorer patients, Is we are told M
did, we can only rejoice at the mortifica
ton he must have felt when one Of thu
governors of st Thomas plainly tolt
him: "Know thou art servant of this
charity"
Among eccentric physicians, we cannot
select better instance than Garrick'l
enemy, the facetious DR.. Monsey. 4
poor doctor at Bury st. Edmunds, he Oh
tanned patron by saving Lord Go
dolphin, who was on his way to New
market, from An apoplectic attack. II
London he became the friend Of Sir Rob
ert Walpole.
aHov Is it." said Sir Robert, ''that no
BODY win beat me ut billiards, or contra
dict me, but Dr.. Nonsey!"
sOther people," said Monsey, ''ge
places: / ret ! dinner and praise"
One Of Monsey's oddities was his wa,
Of extracting testh. He would some
times fastsn bullet to . piece Of catgut
which no fastened to the guilty tooth
He then loaded pistol with the bullet
and fired. He once prevailed on frien'
to try this strange operation; but whe'
al Vas ready, the patient repented, an
bawled out to Monsey 70 stop. =,
.sStop, stop! I've changed my mind.
"But haven't, and you're . fool an
. cow>rd!" said the doctor. pulling tn
trigger with malicious speed. Monse
in old age became : miser; and there IS
story told Of his returning from = journe
to find his servants at tea-party, An
Just preparing to light : flre in grA'
where he had hidden gold and notes to
large amount. Monssy died in his 0tt
vesr, and left his body to Be dissectet
His fortune-more than f16O0O--wez
to his only daughter.
Taking Of doctors fees, reminds Us
~. .xa>- Honuar and his f1k000