The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-06-03
Mark Twain Oh Spelling.

There was spelling match at Hartford,
Conn.,, on Wednesday evening, and MIR. Samuel
Clemens MARK Twain) being called on for a
few preliminary remarks, spoke as follows:
LADIES AND 'GENTLEMEN--l have been
honored with the office of introducing these
approaching photographed soemnltles with a
few remarks. The temperance crusade swept
the land some time ago-that is, that vast por-
ton of the land where it was needed, but it
skipped jIartford. Now comes this new spell
liae epidemic, and this time a0e are stricken.
So suppose we needed the affection. l don't
say we needed it, for I don't see any use in
spelling word right, and never did: L mean
I don't see any use in having uniform and
arbitrary way of spelling words We might as
we'll make all clothes alike and cook all dishes
alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleas
ing. have correspondent whose letters are
always q refreshment to me, there is such a
breezy unlettered originality about his orthog-
raphy He always spells Kow with a large K:
Now that is Just as good as to spell it with a
small one. 1t is better. 1t gives the magma
ton broader field, wider scope. 1t sug-
gests to the mind grand, vague, impressive
kind of COW. Superb effects can be produced
by variegated spelling. Now there is Blind
Tom, the musical prodigy. He always spells
word according to the sound that is carried
to his ear And he is ali enthusiast in orthog-
raphy When you give him word, he shouts
it outputs all his soul into it. I once heard
him called upon to spell orang -outang before
an audience He said, 80, rang, orang,
ger, Granger, tang, Granger tang" Now
body can respect an orang outang that
spells his name in vigorous way like that.
But the feeble dictionary makes mere kit
ten of him. In the old times people spelled
just as they pleased. That was the right
idea You had two chances at stranger then.
You knew strong man from weak one by
his iron-clad spelling, aud his hand writing
helped you to verify your verdict. Some peo-
pic have an idea that correct spelling can be
taught-and taught to anybody. This is a
mistake The spelling faculty is born in
man, like poetry, music and art. 1t is gilt
il is talent. People who have this gift in
high degree only need to see word once in
print, and it is forever photographed upon
ple who haven't it must be content to spell
more or less like--like thunder-and expect
to splinter the dictionary wherever their or
biographical lightning happens to strike.
There are 114,0O0 words in the unabridged
dictionary I know lady who can spell on
ly 1SO of them right She steers clear of all
the rest. She can't learn any more. So her
letters always consist of those constantly re-
curing $50 words Now and then, when
she finds herself obliged to write upon a sub
ect which necessitates the use of some other
words, she-well, she don't write on that sub
ject have relative in New York who is
almost sublimely gifted. She can't spell any
word right. There is game called Verbari-
um. A dozen people are each provided with a
sheet of paper, across the top of which is
written long word like kaledoscopical, or
something like that, and the game is to see
who can make up the most words out of that
in three minutes, always beginning with the
initial letter of that word Upon one occa-
sion the word chosen was coferdam. When
time was called everybody had built from five
to twenty words except this young lady. She
only had one word-calf. We all studied a
moment, and then said: "Why, there is no |
in cofferdam." Then we examined her paper.
To the eternal honor of that uninspired, un-
conscious sublimely independent soul, be it
said, she had spelt that word "caff" If any
body here can spell calf any more sensbly
than that, let him step to the front and take
his milk. The insurrection will now begin.