The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1875-08-19
COMFORT FOR CRIPPLES
From the MINNEAPOLIS Tribune

krroIn the minneapolis Irlbune.(
4 respected and we'll known citizen of
the state, row testing the utility and
comforts of clutches, submits the follow
ing scrap of personal history, witch may
prove valuable to others similarly attic.
ted. He says:
My name IS Jones. it Is very common
ZANE, of my father and also Of my moth
er after her marriage, and as | have new
re, by word or deed, diShonored that
name. | have concluded to retain it. By
the way, | have theory in regard to the
name of Jones, which will account for
the great number of Jones. In the early
ages of the world, every body was named
Jones, but when one dishonored the name
ne was kicked out of his family, and as
sumed some other cognomen. By this
means the world has become acquainted
with the Smiths, Browns, Millers, Halls,
Greens, &C., &c.
A few weeks since II was unfortunate
enough to meet with very severe acct
dent. by which had my ankle sprained.
and was compelled to borrow a pair of
crutches. On my appearance on the
street | was accosted by Brown, who de-
sired to know what | was doing with
crutches! To which | replied by giving
him an accurate account of my misfor-
tune. Brown says, "Are you sure it is
not gout!" Perfectly So" I replied
tout comes on slowly, sprains suddenly.
and | am painfully aware Of the moment
Of It's occurrence ''Now my dear friend
You must take good care of yourself or
you will be on crutches for many months.
My grandmother aunt sprained her
ankle once, and she had to use clutches
all the days of her life, and she lived to
be nlnety-seven years old. One thing |
would have you understand, nv dear
Jones, that sprains are dangerous things,
but if you will battle your foot in warm
water and not use it, you NAV be able to
bear your weight upon it. in six months"
Next came Miller, and to him | related
all that had happened to me, whereupon
he recommended lhe to use cold water
and exercise as much as possible. E1er-
else was the best cure known to him. On
the first day | made my appearance upon
the streets / explained the cause of my
iameneSs to over two hundred persons,
all of whom knew exactly the best rene.
dy and gave me the benefit of their adj
vice, and that without charge. On the
second gay about the same number asked
the cause and extent of the accident. In
answer to the usual question, 'What in
the world is the matter with you, Jones q
proposed by Green, replied. ''possibly
compound cor9minuted-'' Yes, yes,
one bit me when | was boy, and [ was
on CrutcheS for nine months. Vinegar
and salt will xii. the pizen." Next | en-
cOuntered Smith, or rather Smith en-
countered me. Every body knows
Smith. but this Smith was distinguished
from all ether Smiths by the prefix John.
Yes, John Smith. To him | related ali
my troubles. like Smith, for he SYM
pathized with me, or at least he said he
did, and that it panied him greatly to see
man so thin, lean, lank. and cadaverous
as myself on crutches. Well, John
Smith had been unfortur ate in early life,
had sprained his ankle, and was laid up
for months. Nothing did him so much
good as a bread and milk poultice taken
internally.
Another friend came down from St.
Cloud TO see nv ankle, and on looking at
1t gave me the benefit of the following re-
mark:
Il have been on clutches from sprain-
ed ankle for twenty years, and at no Pc
Rod of shat time has my ankle looked as
badly as yours does at this very mo-
ment."
Three weeks have rolled by and IN that
time have explained the cause Of the
accident to l,763 persons. have had
1,I63 cures prescribed, all differing from
each other. Yesterday a friend recon-
mended rattlesnake's oiI-I visited all
the drug stores in the city in search of
oil, found nothing nearer it
than McLean's Fermifuge-of this took
two bolt es-one internally and one ex-
ternally, but cannot say how | shall
worm out of it. Just at. this moment
Allen Ulcerine Salge has been recon-
mended and | shall use it unless another
remedy is suggested before my servant
gets back from the drug store.
Now am thankful for the sympathy
of my friends, and do not wish to under
rate it, but is there profession in the
whole range of thought about which so
many men have superficial knowledge
as surgery and medicine 1t matters
not what disease a man has, every one he
meets has remedy plain, cheap, and
Just the thing To cure like a charm