davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29


| A foreign scientific periodical relates this
suggestive story
| Some time since a lady called upen oelc-
brated oculist, IN order to consult him on ac-
count of her eyes, complaining that their
power of vision had Of late considerably di-
minished.
| AT q glance the doctor saw that she was
lady Of rank and wealth. He looked at her
eyes, shook his head, and thought the treat
ment would require much time, as there were
reasons to fear amourosis in her case. He
must advise her, first of all, that, as she had
informed him she was residing considerable
distance in the country, she must move into
the city at once, and thus enable him to see
her frequently-if possible, daily.
The lady then rented an elegant mansion
moved into the city, and the physician was
punctual in attendance. lie prescribed this
and that and thus days run into weeks, and
weeks into months. The cure, however, was
still coming. The physician tried to console
her.
One day the patient hit on curious scheme,
and she waited not long in carrying it into
effect.
She procured for herself very old, poor at
tire, put hat of tremendous size upon her
head, took an old umbrella and market
basket in her hand, and in these habiliments
she visited her physician, selected for the pur-
pose very rainy day.
She had SO well succeeded in distorting and
Disgusting herself, that the eye even of lover
would scarcely have recognized her. She
was obliged to wait a long while in the ante
room o. the physician, with many others, who
like her, we're seeking relief. Atlast her turn
came.
Well, my good woman, what have you to
complain OFF,
Every bad eyes, doctor" she answered.
He took her to the light looked into her
eyes, but failed to recognize his patient
Struggling his shoulders, he said :
"Yonr eyes are well enough"
"Welle" she said.
eyes, know what I'm saying
!" But have been told that I am getting
the--a--a-forgot how it is called"
"Amourosis?"
g Yes, that is it, doctor"
9 Don't you let them make you believe any
such nonsense Your eyes are little weak,
that is all. Your physician is an ass n"
"An-?"
g Yes, an ass Tell him boldly that said
SOD
The lady arose, and in her customary voice,
said
" Sir, you are my physician don't you
know me 2"
The face the sage counsellor made is easier
to imagine than to describe.
" Gracious, madam" he commenced to
stammer, in apology; but the lady would not
listen to him, and left him Indignantly.
She never saw the gentleman any more.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

LIE 4 AMI ASDL. .rS''ioS.---now pafc
= si's,nia = iolrnou = eA'eiu apps.on''y M
y 'nv 0'a'e 2, rcnl.syisan'af On sile SCUM
s,u9 sno,0 = ny oA'o 1ivof 'al,ou sne Tan
r,anu'e - 0o'nnon p'r''noe' = olsei'
ING history - '''o po'ony y iennsyivs'.ia
says W. u.'puse alose :. - ear'y uy !. me
Ts''ien,sn' y 'ne oouns.y pes"0on y imam
o".' s"u p'op''osol = e"''sy'san anu
Ao.u D"'''i.v'' .no 'vu'ues - mary Ano'
- = sAo so1..e.n ooanu"ry = 'inss .'.,H
onn pa'ene rom 'l'e n'n ,l nAeu - ~ tho
enu = % ros'ses nv.'n la''suue ms n.s mug
"as ,o1nu = ,nS'u'' =. ~ r -
anu 'lc e,, s,'o y lug p,esens 0i's =. !" asn'ng-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29
MISCELLANY.
TIE DEAD SEA OF AMERICA.

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se :. 800 = s'l'e,a'
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I'm IN Va. 'aAe' S''''' 'n'o '"' 'i'e' 'nou'n'
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The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29
rEnn1B1E POSITION or AN rxo1ssnn.

The Alexandria, (va.) Ssnt;ne, tells Of an 40.
cident at Big Bend tunnel, on the chesapeake
and Ohio railroad, by which the engineer.
Mr.. John Quincy Adams Wilkins. was in
jurod. The Big Bend = Is what Is known
in railroad parlanoe as d z dirt tunnel. boinv
very liable to cave In, and therefore the en.
gineers are moro careful To look out for
danger ahead = III passing through them.
It was the exercise Of this care chat probably
saved an immense loss Of life. AS the train had
been brought down to very slow rate Of
speed on approaching the tunnel. Ii seems
that an end Of one Of the large timbers sup
porting the roof had become detached and
fallen on the track few feet within the ttin-
nel and the pilot of the engine striking it,
the jar loosened the other timbers aud large
quantity Of earth and stones, and the whole
mass came tumbling down upon the locomo-
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

To YOU'VE MEN.-It is easier to be a good
business man than poor che. Half the en-
ergy displayed in doing thaEwhich is required
to catch up when behind will save credit, give
more time to business and add to the profits
of your work. Honor your engagements. II
you promise to meet man, or do certain
thing at certain time, be ready at the APP
pointed time. If you go out on business, at
tend promptly to the matter on hand, and
then as promptly go about your business. Do
not stop to tell stories in business hours.
If you have place of business be found
there when wanted No man can get rich by
sitting around stores and saloons. Never
fool" ON business matters. If you have to
labor for living, remember that one hour in
the morning Is better than two at night. II
you employ others, be on hand to see that
they attend tostheir duties, and to direct with
regularity, promptness and liberality. Do not
meddle win any business you know nothing
of. Never buy thing simply because the
man that sells 1t will take it out in trade
Trade is money. Time is money. Make your
place Of business pleasant and attractive
then stay there to wait on your customers.
Be obliging. Strive to avoid harsh words
and personalities. Do not kick every stone in
the path more miles can be made a day by
going steadily on than by stopping to kick
Pay as you go. A man of honor respects his
word as he does his bond. Ask, but never
beg. Help others, when you can, but never
give when you cannot afford to, simply be-
cause it is fashionable. Learn to say "no.''-
No necessity Of swapping it out dog-fashion,
but say it firmly and respectfully. Have few
confdants, and the fewer the better. Use your
own brains rather than those of others. Learn
to think and act for yourself. Be vigilant,
keep ahead, rather than behind the time
Young men, cut this out and if there is folly
in the argument, let us know.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

A Coon STORY OF HENRY G.. CAREy.-In
the Washington Chronicle of recent date,
Col. Forney gives sketch of Henry G. Carey,
the political economist, and relates this anec-
dote of the man.
He delights in anecdotes, and tells many
good one himself. If had the space,
could relate number of incidents illustrative
of Mr.. Carey. Two may be safely told-one
to prove his peculiar self-assertion, and the
other his genuine simplicity. My friend,
Daniel Dougherty, often delights his friends
in private life by his unrivaled Rotations and
limitations. think he is the equal of the
fascinating Mr.. Bellew. One of his finest
pieces is 'Shamus O'Brien.' He had given
it admirably on certain occasion before a
large company, including Mr.. Carey. He
described Shamus among the brave boys who
had fought for Irish independence in '96, his
many encounters with the police, bis num-
erous escapes, his arrest, trial and sentence to
death, and finally his rescue by the good priest
from the last grip of the hangman. The au-
dience were spellbound by the genius of the
poet and speaker, and Mr.. Dougherty closed
the poem by glowing picture of Shamus es-
Gaping to America, rthe land Of the free and
home of the brave In the midst Of the APP
plause of the company, Mr.. Carey broke out
in loud voice
:" Yes and when the rascal got here, the
first thing he did was to join the Democrats
and help the English by voting for free trade.
"The effect was electrical, and shout Of
laughter closed the scene."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

DR.. Holland said "Whenever any pure,
true, good woman marries man whom she
loves, she gives herself to him. She belongs
to him. Hc owns her as no other man on the
face Of the earth does or can" Ibclieve it's
But believe something else that, whenev-
er any pure, true and good man marrlcs wo-
man whom he loves, ho gives himself to her.
He belongs to her. She owns him as no other
woman on the face of the earth can own him.
That is my theory Of marriage. Mrs. Lirer-
more.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

Bishop Ames tells story of slave master
in Missouri, in the olden time of negro vassal-
age, who said to his chattel s'Pompey, I
hear you are great preacher" Yes, mas
sa, de Lord do help me powerful sometimes .
+" Well, Pompey, don't you think the negroes
steal little things on the plantation" Use
mighty 'fraid they does, massa." Then,
Pompcy, want you to preach sermon to the
negroes against stealing" After brief re-
Election, Pompey replied "You see, massa,
dat wouldn't meyer do, cause would trow such
col'ness over de meetin'."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29
A N0BLE WIFE.

During the revolution in Poland which fol
lowed the revolution Of Thaddeus Kosciusko
many Of the truest and best of the sons c1
that i'll fated country we're forced to flee fol
their lives, forsalzing home and friends. Oh
those who had been most eager for the liberty
OF Poland, and most bitter III the enmity
against Russia and Prussia, was Michael
Sobieski, whose ancestor had been king q
hundred and fifty years before.
Sobieski had two sons in the patriot ranks,
and the father and sons had been Of those who
had persisted in what the Russians had been
pleased to term rebellion and price had
been set upon their heads.
The Archduke Constantine was eager to
apprehend Michael Sobieslxi, and learned that
the wife of the Polish hero was at home in
Cracow, and he waited upon her.
:. Madam, he said, speaking politely, for
the lady was beautiful and queenIy, g think
you know where your husband and sons are
hiding2"
81 know, sir'
eff you tell me where your husband is your
sons shall be pardoned.'
And shall be safep''
eyes Madam swear it. Tell me- where
your husband is concealed, and both you and
your sons shall be safe and unharmed,nr
"Then, Sir" answered the noble woman,
rising with dignity sublime and laying her
hand upon her bosom, "he lies concealed
herein the heart of his wife--and you win
have to tear this heart out to find him.
Tyrant as he was, the Archduke admired
the answer, and the spirit which had inspired
it, and deeming the good will of such wo-
man worth securing, he forthwith published
pardon Of the father and sons. Z
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

Group can be cured in one minute, and the
remedy is simply alum and sugar. The way
to accomplish the deed is to take knife or
crater and shave off in small particles about a
teaspoonful of alum then mix it with twice
its quantity of sugar to make it palatable, and
administer it as quickly as possible. Almost
instantaneous relief will follow.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

Don Piatt, who is in London, says that at
the Langham Hotel Chicago colonel got into
discussion about sharp-shooting. The colo
mel said ell wager ten pounds to fifty that
can hit the centre Of that clock at the first
shot with my revolver The offer was taken,
and shot from navy revolver by the
American soon brought down the hands and
very nearly the whole clock with it. OF course
the unexpected explosion, followed, or rather
accompanied, with acrash, created the widest
excitement. The rooms were emptied of their
living contents into the hall, while from the
street hurried crowds, among whom the ru-
NOR that all the Americans in the Langham
were butchering each other with revolvers
The colonel was promptly paid his fifty
pounds, and as promptly paid for the repair
Of the clock. And whoever discredits this
story may go to London and see the clock ;
for Don Piatt adds: "Now, in any other
civilized country known to the undersigned,
this gentleman, SO ready with his pistol, would
have been arrested and punished. Not SO here.
The proprietor of the Langham kept the
shattered dial on exhibition, and the marks
man was generally spoken of as right good
fellow and remarkably clever with the re-
volver."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

A SLIGHT MIsTAKE.--A genial bald-headed
gentleman, while in Paris went one day to
the Geological Gardens. The weather was
warm, and he laid down on bench. Pres
emily he fell asleep and he was aroused by a
warmth about the head. An Infatuated os-
trich had come along, and mistaking his bald
head for an egg, settled down with the deter
mined resolution to hatch it.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

A contemporary asks us mumps singu-
lar, or are they plural 2" Both. When you
get the humps on both sides Of your face, at
once, they are plural but they make person
look singular.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

As by constant friction steel is kept highly
polished, 80 by constant exercise talent is ever
at its brightest. All our powers grow by use
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

Why arc ladies kissing each other an en-
blem Of Christianity ? Because they are do
ing unto eaci, other as they would men should
do unto them. Considerable.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

Prof. Tice says that we shall have thirteen
days of rain in October and now get your
tubs and pals ready to catch rainwater.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

A minister and lawyer were riding togeth-
er. Said the minister to the lawyer: Sir,
do you ever make mistakes in pleading ?" 81
do p said the lawyer. :" And what do you do
with mistakesa" inquired the minister
+" Why, sir, if large ones, mend them i if
small ones, let them co." said the lawyer
"And pray, sir" continued he, !" do you ever
make mistakes in preaching Z" " Yes sir,
do" And what do you do with the mis-
takes2" Why, sir, dispose of them in the
same manner as you do; J rectify the large
ones and pass the small ones. Not long since =
continued he, "as I was preaching, meant
to observe that the evil one was the father Of
liars, but made mistake, and said the faith
or of lawyers. The mistake was so small that
let it CO."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

Live beyond your means and you will soon
find it beyond your means to live.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29
POETRY.
YoICEs or TIE DEAD.

few snow-patches on the mountain side
few white foam flakes from the ebbing tide,
A few remembered words of malice spent,
The record of some dead mans Ill intent
They cannot hurt us, all their sting is gone.
Their hour of cold and bitterness Is done;
Yet deepest SHOWS and fiercest lashiug seas
Bring not such cold or bitter thoughts as these.
few soiled lilies dropped by childish hands,
few dried orange-blooms from distant lands
few remembered smiles Of some lost friend.
Few words of love some dear dead fingers penned-
They are not beautiful for love to see,
And deaths pale presence seems in them to be;
Yet never living blooms, most fresh and gay
Fill us with thoughts Of love 50 sweet as they.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1875-09-29

British Columbia win send flag pole l40
feet long, composed of single tree, to the
Centennial
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-10-06

as great speaker. He had his deficien-
cies. There was little poetry or imagi-
nation in his soul. His speeches are
enriched by few flashes of feeling or
sentiment. Everything was kept sub
ordinate to pure, cold and naked logic,
which showed in debate like polished
Damascus cimeter. He, therefore, spoke
to the intellectual audience, and not to
the more popular crowd.
"Daniel Webster's talents were very
different from those of Mr.. Calhoun.
He had, in great degree, the logical
powers of the latter, but he had with
them fine poetical and imaginative ele-
ments that the latter was deficient in.
His sense of the beautiful was exceed
ingly great, and his command over
copious and magnificent language was
almost unexcelled. He was the orator,
therefore, not only of Senates, but OF
great popular crowds. He gave Bunker
Hill and Plymouth Rock the leading
positions they have in our history. His
orations were majestic compositions,
connecting the thought of the philoso-
pher with the superb generalization OF
the best historian, and enriched by the
flowers of fancy and poesv. So of his
leading efforts i'm the Senate. His
statements of proposition were models
ofclearness and power, and, If accepted
as true, almost precluded controversy.
Cold and unimpassioned in general,
almost as the granite of his native hills,
he yet, on great occasions, aroused to
the glow of enthusiasm, and spoke with
the vehemence of fiery zeal and pas
sion. 1t was strange that the man from
the ice and snow of the North should
have had this popularity in so much
greater degree than Mr.. Calhoun, born
under the more ardent and tropical
zone of the South. &c. ". d. Bloss'
Ne,r Book.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-10-06
Is Paralysis suicide:

death by paralaysis" is growing to
be the too familiar close of the history
of business and professional men. Ii
discloses something radically wrong.
1t is like the collapse of steam boilers
at sea or on land, something which
shows an Overstrain has been pue on
the working powers. We deprecate IN
advance any medical criticism which
shall proceed to show us that in sundry
instances patients die of paralysis who
have led easy and uneventful lives.
We are noe writing a medical treatise.
We only know that as fact it is very
customary ending to lives with great
pressure upon them. And there are
lives which, as rule, with this great
pressure have no relieving occupations
and habits. We are inclined TO think
that many professional men are merely
professional. Outside their work they
have nothing to do, nothing to care
for. The climate of this country, while
it stimulates mental energy, represses
bodily exertion- To use the phrases OF
the day, the American is unrivalled at
"pnttine ON spurt.r As a rule we
should say that the thing required in
this country was generous temper
ance.r On the contrary, the habit of the
majority is parsimonious and spasmo-
die indulgence. If men who use their
brains in one set of cases will relieve
them bv complete change of interests
and occupations. they will do more
work and do it better in the end, with
out wearing themselves out prema-
turely. If they will take good and ha-
bitual care of their bodies, without
trying them by occasional and irregu-
lar designations, they will be much more
likely to challenge paralysis.-Chureh-
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-10-06

E. f. Kunke's celebrated Bitter Wine OF
Iron Will effectuslly cure liver complaint.
jsundice, dyspepsia, chronic or nervous de-
biliIy, chronic disrrhoea, disease of the kid
neys, and all diseases arising from disOr-
dered liver, stomach or intestines, such as
constipation, fatulence, inward piles, full
ness of blood to the b ad, acidity of the
stomach, nausea, heartburn, disgust for
food. fullne $ of weight in the stomach. sour
eructations. sinking or fuiiering at the pit
Of the stomach, swimming of the head, hur-
ried or difficult breathing, huttering at the
heart, choking or suffocating sensations
when in a lying posture. dimness of vision.
dots or webs before the sight, dull pain in
the head, deficiency of perspiration, ye =
lowness of the skin and eyes, pain in the
side, back. head, chest, limbs, etc., sudden
fushes of heat, burning in the flesh, con-
slant imaginings of evil. and great depres-
sion Of spirits. Price 81 per bottle. Be
ware of counterfeiis. Do not let your drug
gist palm off some other preparation of iron
he may say is as good, but ssk for Kunkeps
Bitter Wine Of Iron. Take no other. Kun
kefs Bitter Wine of Iron is not sold in bulk
only in 81 bottles. Z. Z. kunkel, Pro-
prietor, No 259 North Ninth ST., Phila, Pa.
Sold by all Druggists and dealers every
where.
TAPEwoRN REMOVED ALIvE-Head and
all complete, in two hours. No fee ill head
passes Seat, Pin and Stomach Worms re-
moved by DR. KuNKEJ, 259 NORTH NINTH
STREET. Advice free. Come, see over ] 900
specimens and be convinced. He never
fails.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-10-06
Herbert spencer On the "Aor~as
n TPndeo

Mr.. Herbert Spencer, in his work on
ssMorals of Trade" treats very PLAINLY
of accommodation bills, which nave
come into notice in connection with re-
cent failures. After asking ifthose VINO
lend trust money to speculators, as well
as the SPECTATORS who borrow II, are 10
be condemned, what shall De said oi .ne
still more delinquent class VINO OBTAIN
loans by fraud, who not only pawn otner
mems money when obtained, but OBTAIN
il under false pretenses, he says, for
how else than thus must We describe the
doings of those who raise money oy
accommodation bills. When A and b
a~ree. the one to draw and the other 10
accent bill of fl 900 for value received,
while. i'm truth, there has been no sale
of goods between them or no value re-
eeiyed. the transaction is not simply an
embodied lie, but becomes thereafter a
living and active lie. Whoever DIS
counts the bill does so in the belief that
b, having become possessed OF II ,OOo
worth of goods, will, when the Dill lalis
due, either have the q 900 worth OF
goods or some equivalent with which to
meet it. Did he know that there were
no such goods in the hands OF either "A
or b, and no other property available ior
liauidating the bill, he would not dis
count it-he would not lend money 10 a
man of straw without security. The
case is intrinsically the same rs though
A had taken TO the hank forged mort
gage deed and obtained a loan upon lt.
Practically, an accommodation bill Is
forgery"