The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-02-10

Farewell forever, | vow! sald she:
You are cold and cruel, and nothing TO me!
A whole long week is over SINCE then,
And the two are hand III hand again.
Why is a sculptor likely TO die horri-
BILE deaths Because he makes Rlces and
busts.
Todes Is like frogs, but more dign lty |;
and wen you come to think OF 1t, frogs Is
wetter.
"Business before pleasure" as the man
| said when he kissed his wife before 60
| ing out to kiss his neighbor's.
"Harkl l near an angel sing!" saId
Robert Dale to Kalie King. "Bahl ] hear
AN old lool waiil' said Katie KING 10
Robert Dale.
Ii there Is any one time more than an
other " hen a woman should be entirely
alone, it is when iull line Of clothes
comes GOWN in the mud.
Teacher--"Solomon, you are such a
bad boy that you are not lit 10 Sit III the
company OF good boys. In fact, you are
not tit 10 slL in any decent company.
| Come up here and sit by me, SIR"
A politician was boasting in public
speech, that he could bring an argument
tO a pint as quick as any other man.
"You can bring quart to pint good
deal quicker" replied an acquaintance.
Will the boy VINO threw that pepper on
|
present OF Eice book" said sunday
school superintendent in Iowa; but the
boy never moved. He was u iaf-seeing
boy.
"Father," said a cob5ler's lad, as he
| was pegging away at an old shoe, they
say that trout bite good n0w." "W ell,
WELL" replied the oIds gentleman, '.you
stick TO your work, and tney won't bite
YOU"
A Hughes High School boy had just got
his face liked 10 sing "Let US love one
another," wneu SNOWFALL hit him in Tue
mouth and 50 confused him tnath he yelled
"Bill Sykes, just you do that again and
| Pllcnaw your ear OtfP'
| One of the most celebrated pulpit ora
tors OF Paris, the Abbe dc Deguerry, SAID
in u sermon during lent: .'W omen, no "
a-days, forget in the astonishing ampli-
tude of their dresses, that the gates oil
Heaven are very narrow"
ssMy dear Polly, l am surprised at
your taste for wearing another woman's
hair on your head" sad Mr.. Smith tt
his vile. "My dearest Tom, am reall,
astonlshed that you persist in Wearing
another sleeps wool on your back"
"Well, SamDO, what's yer up to nova
daysp "On, is carpner and ,j'ner.'
"He! | guess yer is. WHAT department
do YOU perform? Z" "What department
| Why, l does de circular .wurk.'
I.Wnats datU "Why, turn dc grind
stone"
A newly-married gentleman and lady
riding In {; cnaISe, were uniOrLuna te y
overturned. A person coming 10 then
assistance, observed it was very shock
ing sight. "Very shocking indeed" re
pied the gentleman, "to see neW-mar.
ried couple fall out 80 soon"
lar
tic nature is equal to her natural sim
plicity, was invited by an Advent ex
horter to join his sect, get her Wnite rob
ready, anu prepare TO ascend, II can't
the maid replied; s'iather and mothe
are going up, and somebody must stay
} to see to the cattle"
Il A country editor says he received the
following "stop my papers" ''Dear Sir,
have looked carefully over your papel
for six months for the death OF some III
dividual 1 was acquainted with, but a'
about has dropped btf. You will pleast
to have my name erased"
i A Newport man unconsci0usly got him
self into trouble on Monday evening
His wife asked him where he was going
. as she observed him putting on his over
coat. vi am going TO sally tOrth," he re
piled, "Let me catch you going will
any Sally Forth and there will be first
class opportunity for your fire compan!
to throw themselves on set OF 0bltuar,
resolutions"
!. .'Mr. Lecount," wrote gamekeeper t.
his master, to whom he was sending ;
: pair OF rabbits. II have the honor II
send pair of -" "Tell me-" said h'
LIN rabbits!a s'That depends upon cir
1 nrn ~ q
..now many rabbltsr' "Two." "Tnel
: there are four b's, of course, two to eacl
one." And the gamekeeper continued
we'll pleased with the assistance-"a pal
, of rabbbbitsp
II A couple of colour, affectionately in
terested in each other, with u view II
Imatrimony, and unable to read or write
have been corresponding through
i"third" parties. The other day Romeo
F was listening to letter from his Juliet
in which happened the expression, ''Re
clining in the arms OF Morpheus."-
"WhaIB datY In de arms OBJ anudde
niggar? Dat gal can go to Jericho
dun lub dat sec0R ham darkey-no
sahw
A Scotchwoman, whose name was Mar
garet, did nothing but swear ana abus'
instead of answering the minister. SAY
Margaret" says he, "dinna ye ken wher'
a. the sinfu' gang?" "Deil TAX then
that kens as weel as them that speers,'
cries she. Gay, Margaret, they gant
where there'll be wailing and gnashine
OF teeth" ''By my trow, them" says
Margaret, ''let them gnash that ha',
them, for dell stump have had fo
these twenty years."
| AS policeman passed upon his beat il
i Detroith he observed two broken windows
He looked through one of them and saw
a man on the floor with a broken ant
bound-up head, while furniture and frag
ments were heaped about him. lnquit
ing as to the origin of the ruin, he wa
answered by a woman with babe in be
lap: "You see that man there? Well
he's my husband. Baby's sick. IL
j said, Give her castor ile.' l SAID, Civ
her goose grease There he laysw
| John Sufield, known as "the Hampton