The anti-monopolist. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1874-1878, 1875-02-25

They Couldn,t Trade,

They Couldn't Trade. In
Keyser had lightning.rods placed upon |
his barn three or four years ago but
during the last summer the building was
struck by lightning and burned. When
he got the new barn done. man came ,
around with red wagon and wanted to
cell him set of Bolt & Barnam patent
lightning.rods.
81 believe not" said Keyser. Il had |
rods on the barn at the time of the
81 know said the agent. Il know
Won had, and very likely that was the
reason you were struck. Nothln,s more
likely to attract lishtnin' than worthless
rods !,
eHow do you know they were worth
less!'' !,
"Why, was drivin' by yer in the |
spring, and seen them rods, and l says
to myself, that barn'l be struck some |
time, but there's no use in tryin to con.
vince Mr.. Keyser; so didn't call.
know d it. because they had iron tips. A
rod with iron tips is no better n clothes
prop to ward off lightnin'.' III
"The man who sold them to me said
they had platinum tips remarked Key
ser.''
"Ah! this is a wicked world, Mr.. Key
ser. You can't be too cautious. Some
of these yer agents lie like gas-meter.
It's awful, sir. They are weolly untrust-
worthy. Them rods was the most ridick-
lus sham I ever see. They want worth
the labor it took to put 'em up. They
wa ant now, that's the honest truth.
"What kind do you offer =
: "Well, sir, I've got the only genuine
liphtnin' rod that IS made. It's construct
ed on scientific principles. Prof. Huxley
saws it's sure to run off the electric huid
l every time. Twisted charcoal iron, glass
insulators, eight points on each rod, war
ranted solid platinum. We give writ
ten guarantee with each rod. Never had
house struck since we began to offer
this rod to the public. Positive fact.
9 The liehtnin II play all around house
: with one of 'em and never touch it. A
= thunder storm that'd tear the bowels out
a of the American continent would leave
) your house as safe as a polar bear IN the
# middle of an iceberg. Shall run you
d one up!''
r 81 don't know" said Keyser, mus
n ingly.
r "I'n put you up one cheap, and ther
It you'll have something reliable. Some
!. thin there's no discount on.
n "You say the old rod was fraud !
r "The dcadliest fraud you ever hear'
a Of. It hadn't an ounce If platinum with
N in mile of it. The man that sold
,e ought to be prosecuted, and the fello'
+. that put it up without insulatOrs SHOULD
70 be shot. It's too bad the farmer shoul'
be gouged in this sort of way
ssAnd Bolt & Burnams rod IS not
d. fraud -
ne ga fraud! Why, really, my dear 81,
rs just cast your eye over Prot. Huxley
letter and these certificates, and remen
1t Der that we give written guarantee
ne positive protection, Of course
tn "Just cast your eye over that, sal
q Keyser, handing him piece Of paper:
Mt "Well, upon my word. This is indee
ole somewhat, that is to say, as it we're
looks-it looks little like one OF OF
- own certificates
to "Just so.'' said Keyser. THAT old ro
J" was one Of Bolt & Burnam's. You so
be it to my son-in-law you gave this cert
to icate you sworc the points were pla'
t. mum, and your man put it up"
at "Then suppose we can't trade.
ow "Well, should think not, said Ne
at ser.
Whereupon the man mounted the r
wagon and moved on.-Mur Adeler.