davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
A /" Junnelist's Juel.v

Maiah" Edwards and "Majah" Fos-
ter are distinguished "junnelists" of
st. Louis. Majah Edwards sheds his
PHOSPHORUS in the columns of the
Times, while Majah Foster eats catfish
and exudes intellect i'll behalf of the
EUening Journal. These two estimable
gentlemen are gifted in the matter of
"onah." They locked horns in the dis
cussion of the propriety of jeff Davis
invitation to address the Wiunebago
Agricultural Association, and their re-
spective "onahs" were so abraded in
the discussion of the matter that nothing
but blood, and bloody blood at that, could
repair the damage. So they went out
and :" fit dool' with "pistuals,
loaded with actual powder and real lead.
1t was "game" affair. Both men were
game-that is, if you call hare or
mountain sheep game. When the fatal
word was given Majah Foster closed his
eyes, commended his soul to God and
pulled the trigger. The bullet killed
COW in neighboring cornfeld. Maiah
Edwards shut his eyes mentally, ejacu-
lated Goodbye, mother" and pulled
the trigger. His bullet grazed the ear of
one of the seconds, who was standing 30
PAGES to the right. Majah Edwards de-
handed second shot, but the second
whose ear was bleeding, peremptorily re-
fused to accede to the request, unless he
would agree to shoot at him instead of
Malah Foster. The affair was then ami
cabfy adjusted, and the two game "jun-
nelists' fell upon each others necksl
wept and rolled up their sleeves to hun.
for strawberry marks. Majah Foster
then said he would go to the hotel and
change his trousers. The trousers
(white duck) looked as if they needed
changing. Indeed it is intimated that
the laundress charged Maiah Foster five
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
The New Bell for Independence Hall.

Meneely & Kimberly, of this city, who
are making a bell of $4,000 pounds for
the tower of old Independence Hall, in
Philadelphia, have, upon application to
Gen. Hagner, and upon Endorsement of
the War Department, received permits
sion to select several cannon from those
now in store at theWatervliet Arsenal, to
be cast in the bell. The selection will
be of cannon which did service in the
Union and rebel armies during the late
civil war. 1t is the purpose of the donor
of the bell Henry Sybert, of Philadel-
phia), and of the authorities of that city
to have the bell in position in Independ-
ence Hall tower, July 4, 1876. 1t will
thus have both national and centennial
significance-that of a country grown in
century from Union OF thirteen
States to thirty-eight, and a population
increased from 1000, 900 to 10000, 900.
The object of the special cannon used in
the casting of this bell will be to carry
out the idea of peace, i'll the blending of
North and South, and quite in keeping
with one of the Bible inscriptions which
will be cast upon the bell" Glory to
God in the highest, and on earth peace,
good will toward men. troy Times.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
A STRUGGLE WITH A BURGLAR.

The burglars had been very active and
bold in their operations in our city, but
as the thermometer had marked above
the nineties for several days, had little
of value in my room. j preferred to
risk that little and leave my window
open, although of easy access, rather
than undergo partial suffocation.
If an unlimited guest made his appear
ance, and did not awake, he would not
disturb me if L did awake, / could
feign sleep and let him take whatever he
might find.
"This class of visitors" L reasoned
with myself, edo not generally commit
personal violence, if they can accomplish
theft and make good their escape with
out it. ;"
These were my reflections every night
as undressed and threw myself on the
bed, leaving my castle open to the en-
envy. / had slept one night about an
hour, when / was awakened by the fall
ing of small china ornament starting
slightly and opening my eyes, / saw the
gas burning, and tall, broad-shouldered
man, with his back toward me, his face
looking over his shoulder to see whether
the noise had awakened me. Our eyes
met, so that the plan of feigning sleep
would have been useless.
Opposite the side of my bed, and
about eight feet from me, was the door
of my room, two or three feet from
which were stairs leading to the lower
hall. The burglar must have used a lad
der in ascending the roof, from which he
entered the window. 1t was some thirty
feet from the ground, and isolated. My
plan was not only to escape harm myself
but to capture him. 1 knew the police
mans beat, and he would pass it in a
short time.
Sitting bolt upright, then, as L opened
my eyes and saw the burglar looking
very unpleasantly at me, said, rubbing
my eyes drowsily, although to tell the
truth was frightened nearly out of
my life : Hello, John, what are you
looking forl Can't you come into
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
Professional Scamps.

The sharpers who infest the country,
preying upon the unsuspecting farmers,
have cOncocted another new scheme for
victimizing the people. They pretend
to be hunting for stray animals. One
gets a description of an estray horse
taken ND by farmer and claims the
horse, giving description of it as evil
dence that he owned and lost it. Usual
" he states that he is long distance
from home, and proposes to sell the ami
nal for much less than its value rather
than be troubled to get it home. The
farmer, unless unusually sharp, accepts
the proposition and pays the money,
when the scoundrel decamps.
One of the sharpest and meanest acts
that has been reported of tramps recent
ly occurred in Harrison county, Indiana,
q few days ago, near Corydon. The pro-
fessional scamp called at the residence
of Mr.. Sims, the wool-carder, and order
ed supper for lot of men who, he said,
would be along in little while, with
threshing-machine they were running.
Supper was prepared, steaming, smoking
hot, and remained ON the table until cold
as stone, and yet no threshers came.
The tramp told the family to retire for
the night and not wait, as probably some
accident had happened. After every one
had retired for the night, the scamp stole
about $50 worth of clothing, put out,
and has not been heard from since
nor have the threshers put in an appear
ance
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
The Home Doctor.

TO RELIEVE sick headache tiake a
teaspoonful of finely powdered charcoal
III half a tumbler of water.
TEMPERANCE in eating, drinking and
working will prove healthful to both
body and mind during the heat of the
summer solstice. All excuses are in
furious.
For burns or scalds spread clarified
honey upon linen rag, and apply it to
the wound immediately. 1t will gener-
ally relieve the pain instantly, and heal
the sore in a very short time.
A REMEDY FOR FLESH WOUNDS. Take
green tea and pulverize it fine and bind
on the wound or cut, allowing it to re-
main until healed. If tie wound be-
comes dry and painful, wet it with cold
tea.
FEVER AND AGUE.-Take wine glass
of the best brandy, morning and night,
together with a quinine pill. This must
be repeated each alternate day (com-
monty known as the "well day") unit
the paroxysm subsidies. Knowing from
experience the difficulty in treating the
above disease, can safely recommend
this course to all afflicted.
REMEDY FOR WARTs.-Warts are very
troublesome and disfguring. The fol-
lowing is perfect cure, even of the
largest, without leaving any scar. 1t is
Frenchman's prescription, and has
been tested by the writer Take small
piece of raw beef, steep it all night in
vinegar, cut as much from it as will
cover the wart, and tie it on it if the
excresence is on the forehead, fasten it
on with strips of stickinS-plaster. 1t
may be removed in the day and put on
every night. In one fortnight the wart
will die and peel off. The same pre-
scription will cure corns.
CoUGHING.-The best method of cas-
ing cough is to resist it with all the
force of will possible, until the accumu-
lation of phlegm becomes greater; then
there is something to cough against, and
it comes up very much easier, and with
half the coughing. A great deal of hack
ing, and hemming, and coughing in in
valids is purely nervous, or the result of
mere habit, as is shown by the frequency
with which it occurs while the patient is
thinking about it, and comparative rarity
when he is so much engaged that there
is no time to think, or when the atten-
ton is impelled in another direction.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
How the Girls Scared a Burglar.

One of the best incidents of the burg
lar season, an incident which occurred
early III July, now sees the light for the
first time. just before the Fourth OF
July one of our citizens left home on a
brief visit with his wife, leaving the
house in charge of the eldest daughter,
who had only younger girl with her for
company. A hired man slept in one OF
the lower rooms of the house at night in
order to afford protection. Every thing
passed off pleasantly until nearly the
time fixed for the return of the father
and mother on the I'd or 3D. day OF July.
Previous to the departure from the city
OF the gentleman referred to he had
purchased lot of fireworks with which
to celebrate the Fourth and amuse the
family, and these fireworks were stored
III one of the upper rooms. On the
evening OF the I'd the young lady and
her companion retired as usual, fearing
nothing, since the hired man was sleep
ing as usual down stairs. In the course
OF the night they were awakened by a
noise at one of the lower windows, and
discovered that burglar was trying to
effect an entrance. The noise made did
nv ""NhSh lilo hilto anu lnt
alarmed girls dared not go down stairs to
arouse him. At the same time they
feared to let the burglar know of their
presence, having the wrong impression
that should they scream the burglar
would suspect them to be helpless, and
so come in boldly. In the extremity a
bright idea occurred. They resolved
to let off the fireworks. The rockets
and crackers vera found, taken slyly to
window above the one where the burg
lar was at work, and as many of them as
could be ignited ut once lighted and
tossed out together. There was great
report, the air was full of fire for a mo-
ment, and the terrified burglar
bounded away at full speed, evidently
supposing himself the target for half a
dozen revolvers A more original way
of getting rid of robber was certainly
never devised.-N. Louis Repu6Lj-
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24

A story with several morals comes from
Windsor, Conn. Forty years ago there
was bank at Windsor. One morning
the Cashier opened the locked vaults aud
found everything in perfect order, in.
Guiding an envelope that held, the even
ing before, $4,000 But the money was
gone. Detectives were Summoned. They
struck what they thought to be trail,
Thomas Emerson, the President of the
bank. The evidence against him was
wholly circumstantial, but it seemed
pretty clear. Within few short weeks,
Emerson exchanged his home at Wind
sor for cell at Weathersield-one of
those terrible 4x9 cells in which Connec-
ticut used to suffOcate as well as starve
their felons. The ex-President lived
several years within those gloomy stone
walls, ar d then came out to find himself
an outcast, hated by the plundered COM
munity which had once honored him.
He lived to be an old man; but his crime
was never forgotten, and he went down
to the grave with 4" thief stamped upon
him. The verdict was on record. Every
one knew it. His feeble protests were
vain 70 shake the settled conviction of his
sin. Wears after the grass grew over his
body, chance stroke of workman s
hammer proved his innocence, and
showed that he was one Of the many vic
tins of circumstantial evidence. The
Cashier of the bank, the man who dis
covered the theft, died about the time
the ex-convict did. The odOr of sane
tity hung about him. His memory was
cherished at Windsor as that of truly
good man. In an evil moment for his
memory the present occupant of his old
house decided to have it repaired. While
the carpenters were at work, on Monday
of last week a misdirected blow with a
hammer sank the head of that tool into q
wall. A moments investigation showed
that the place held the money stolen
from the Windsor Bank forty years ago.
Unless circumstantial evidence is again
playing tricks with the truth, the Cashier
stole the money, hid it, allowed per
fectly innocent man to drag out his life
with the terrible curse of conviction
for felony resting upon him, and was
afraid to ever use the money for the sake
of which he bartered his soul. The
Springfield Republican says that there
is "quite n sensation in Windsor on
account of this revelation. The fact is
not surprising .-Chicago Tribune.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
WHO KNOWS.

Who knows where pins and needles 90,
Where all the buttons stray?
Who knows where all the pennies GO
That somehow get away?
Who knows how all the china breaks
That wasn't touched at all2
How baby gets 40 black a bruise
And never had fall?
Who knows whence all the fashions come
And whore they disappear:
Why one brief month should make a fright
OF what was such a dear:"
Wac knows how little bills can swell
10 such prodigous size:
Who knows, indeed, what's going on
Beneath his very eyes?
Who knows Just where her husband goes
When "business" keeps him out 4?
Who knows when best TO wear smile
And when to wear pout
Who knows the time 10 face the fact
That she's no longer young?
VINO knows how best 10 speak her mind
And how 20 hold her tongue?
Mho knows the most convenient day
To bring friend TO dine?
Who knows the half of what he spends
On clubs, cigars and wine:
Who knows one bonnet cannot last
woman all her life?
Who knows the woman is the same
When sweetheart turns 10 wife:
Who knows why all the pretty girls
Are often last To go:
How all the ugly women we'd
Who never mad beau?
Why small men fancy wives so large,
And large men fancy small:
Who knows. in fact. how hall the world
Was ever matched ut all?
Who knows how far to trust friend,
How far 10 hate foe?
Just when TO speak kindly yes
And when "A sturdy no?
Who knows-the grim old Grecian sage
says gravely, save thyseh,
The wisest man in all the world
- ne who knows himself.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
An AmphibiOus Bear.

Mr.. Albert Campbell, of Weston, VT,
was out fishing few days since and
noticed furious paving in the water in
the shadow of an old tree few feet
ahead. He seized club and ran toward
the spot. He jumped upon the log, and
just as he did so the nose of large black
bear was pushed above the water and
was being rapidly followed by the body.
In moment he raised his club and
struck a severe blow across the protrud-
ing nose. To his establishment the bear
fell over dead without a struggle. The
bear was taken out and found to he q
large one weighing 400 pounds.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
LITTLE BROwN HANDS.

They drive home the cows from the pasture,
Up through the long, shady lane,
Where the quail whistles loud in the wheat field
That is yellow with ripping grain.
They find. in the thick waving grasses,
Where the scarlet-lipped strawberry grows
They gather the earliest snowdrops,
And the first crimson buds of the rose.
They toss the hay In the meadow,
They gather the older-bl@om white;
They lind where the dusky grapes purple
In the soft-tinted October light.
They know where the apples hang r.pest,
And are sweeter than Italy's wines:
They know where the fruit hangs the thickest
On the long, thornv blackberry vince.
They gather the delicate seaweeds,
And build tiny castles Of rand;
They pick up the beautiful sea-shells-
FAIRY barks that have dri:ted to land.
They wave from the tall, rocking tree-tops,
Where the oriole hammock neat swings,
And at nighttime are folded in slumber
by a song that fond mother sings.
Those who toll brayely are strongest;
The humble and p or become great;
And from those brown-handed children
Shall grow mighty rulers of state.
The pen Of the author and statesman,
The noble and wise of the land,
The sword and chisel and palette
shall be held in the little brown hand.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
THE Alton 0owa) Meys reports

THE Alton Qowa) Nevs reports a
strange freak of electricity. Several
herders were sitting in room during a
storm, when bolt of lightning came
down the chimney prostrating four of
them and stunning all. One had one
boot torn from his foot, while the other,
that was resting on a chair, escaped I'm
harmed. Another had both boots torn
off and his feet badly burned. All in
the room were affected in their legs and
feet. The theory is that the floor was
momentarily charged with electricity.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24

dollars for doing them up. After bath
ing their respective honors in cham
payne, and taking up collection TO pay
the Illinois farmer for the COW killed by
Majah Foster, the party returned to st.
Louis, and have spent the time since the
meeting in delivering lectures on the
code to the strawberry nosed habitues of
HerUIH
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24

Mr.. GEORGE +. WILLIAMS, the news
boys friend, and ex-city editor of the
New York Times, is now managing edi-
tor Of the Herald. He has done more
for the poor children of New York than
any other person, and is fairly wor-
shipped by them.
, 1875-02-08
Tho straurest OF Dnels.

lorhape tile most remarkable duel over fought
took Ilacs ~ 1868. It was peculiarly French 10
its tune, aud could hardly hive occurred under
any utler than French atato Of sucisty, II. 10
dtandpro aud N. le Pique had 3 nuurre, a,isint.
out Of Jealousy concerning 4 lady. rhey argse5
TO f'ght d9ol to settle their respective claims
and, in oider that tho heat Of angry pasuiot,
slou}d not interrere With tha polished oieganoe
Of the eroceedtng, theY postponed tho dual Tor 4
mouth. tue lady agreeing to bestow her hand On
tbe survivor OF tho two, II tho othsr was killed
at all events, th!a waB Inferred by tho two men
II not actually expressed, This due|ists wcra Il
fight In tho cir. Two balloons wero con
htruotsd exactly alike. On tue day d.
noted La 0ranapse and hla second eotored
tba car OF ons balloon, La Piguo and bis
second that Of tbs otheg; It wsa III tho garden
of the Tu,1eriea. amid Hi immense concord Of
spectators. The gentlemen were to fro, not ~
each other, but At each other d balloon, In order
tu bring them down b7 tho escape Of gas md,
aB pistols might hardly laVo sers Cd this purpose
each aegoneut took Glundasbusa ia bis car, Al
tbs given signsi the ropes that retained the cars
Wese cut, sud the balloons a4eende1. The wind
VAS moderate, and kept tho balluons Ut about
their original dlBlapce OF 80 yards apart. When
nalf tullo above tho surface Ut the call tn, pre-
concerted signal for lriug WaR given, Ii. 10
tj4ua fred. but n,isssd. II. 10 Grandprs A,el,
ana sont ! ball through Lcr pique's balloon. The
balloon collapsed. tue car descended with frigat-
fui rapidity and La piqua aud lfs Lecond Se1e
d2shsd to pieces. Lo Gsapdprc continued blu Az
cent tsiuplphautiy, aud Terminated lls aerial
y0JtR4 1uGcesatullY,
, 1875-02-08
PRESs-cOMMENTS.
DE-. DE KoFEN9 PERSONAL. anAcE5 AID Accoh.
Ii,Iii1iNESIn,

QAt DE kofEN6 fE!tSOSAL AlLAtG3 AMI At~NR-
PiJBHhEST6.
From t4t .Nsw ]uTG World.
We sntl yesterday thai tic eloc!Ion OF Ur. Do
Kovep to 10 Bishop OF Illinois would not indi~
cato that tho D!oceso Ut Illinois had been con-
versod to his views, but only that his personal
t1aits had proved attractive enough 10 overcome
lho rotulsiycness Of his teueta That elec-
tion has now taken Itaco. What the
upeclal qualifications Of DF. Do Kovau
may bo tor the Episcopato NO do not pre-
tend to say. but Ao Ia cottaiuly mau
whose personal eracea aud accomplishments
would ado1n any ollice whatsoever to which 10
might bo chosen II the Cblllch. Nobody who
Lcard anY one of hls brilliant spoechoH At tho
General Convention last autumn will be disposed
to tonv him tho Ppaaess Df remarkable pow
crs aH Yaick au.l clear thinker, mud au eloctsio
orator. llis election certainly does the Diuceso
grta credlt III the oyes Of men Of the world: wo
hope 1t Will not bs found to do it mich harm IN
tho eyes oven Ut tue most moderate tAuscAmen.
AMATTEn or ultAsE INTEREST.
tf0M thf .stU Joyk sun. 80 .
Tue election of Or. Dc koyen on Wednesday
to the yaceut Epscorate of lllinnls ~ nAstes
OF gtlye into,ost to members q the rfolessaas
Episcopal Church in tlia country 3Wace per.
slstently pressed for the once o. nlsnot o.
e,ectsd TO an important Western Diocoae with
comparative case on tue third ballot. Ite Rev.
ereuu gentleman il eonfetsadly ono Of tho most
ion, M,o, rt!1hab!a in motals, aud beloved
by almost Nil ~ho l,asa como within his iplu-
euce. In thu late Aoneral Convention OF tito
Episcopal Church 10 this city, while standing up
almos: alone to do battle for the extrene party
witch he represents. he e1torted tho adnaiss.
tlon, not to say tho estss9, Of his moat dsses.
mined opponents by nis a,oqusnes, bis coustesy,
saia Christian charity. sud his unmlssAksbls
, 1875-02-08

Or benefit Ia by invisible spiritual nye1lciea, and
cannot tI,eno oi,erato nIofo tifce.na.ly fr n,
Crl4ts glotlt1eA nnllrn. aa it ls t1ltslruIe pui
really present III Heaven, tllan irnn at:. l,.,%l-
nary dHtl ictltiala lrcsctce. Frll A. is t!relnt
Of or nit hculdnAy Wrought by EVERY ttslr al iii,
authoritative uttcrahce uf Tho wtrda u C3'Istrrn-
l0n I Nay dpeH nut this latter lnaass lta1
rather, with ordinary minds, tn1l'Isfrr'suall3o tn
llla ordirnncn. bT drawing the thoughts nrav
from Chris. I1irHelf. md the Erent III, Aitry 1T
resumption it was uleant 10 typf:, IN tAc mar
yelous,ers Of tho miracle supposed to 10 "rtsll,
and tbs mere outward rigts VI atlorat' III Ls'
which tho presence 1t il gal tnaccomplInh a4Guld
be acknowledged aud lioi,nEedf I
No, brethern, 10 not drawn awav from this
simple doc.rine q the Holy Sacrament. F,r
you tho problem Ut proliGms il the reproduction
of Chrini's Image III ypn, tho a'nitu.latin: Of
your nature to lis IN every moral feature and
hheament, ''erace for g1ace.' Tie Problem
cah only 10 solved BY chris:'s pretence being
res1tz.'i IN yon,:, 1hat preseaeo ean "!,ly 10
mcntaticn Of all the appointed nl:sns nf grace,
most Of ali BY this Holy supper; but its ,tcas-
uso vii! t,e III proportion to yo1f faith sflerG-
foso. SEQ that your fntu ainbera Hot kte? it
in constant exe'c cite. md w:A tile heart.'ipor
open always for tho iacornhgH ii evo:v diy1ho
ilnpuAo and visitation tlas inay descend UPON
yuu. 10 will Chfist dwell with ynn, n,oro really
than II 1lo wero viB!blY an inmate u your homo.
and conform yon 10 Iiis likeness MIRO perfectly
than though lie neio literally or corp really
to taaio yoa par.asoss Of llia l,oIy auJ blood.
Meanwhile, for tl.iH anxiety that hus fallen on
us az Church and Diore*o. lit ii. "rost in tho
Lord aud wait patiently" What His iniinlle
wiadon, shall iinaily will for III, ca,uot do us
Lutt Our fears may Eometime. cInIl tho fcr'or
Of uur faitl and snako nn trcnlbIu Tor tic arl Of
the I.urd. Iii. itS daet,lies ute in Ills keeping,
nnd IIo will brrR it safc.y through oscry danger
up to t:s final iessiug-placo. Over ngRn.t all nur
Is daTkoAt, may ,Ee set tlts simple but rcaasur-
ing wo,d, " 1t h !; be mt afraid" " Tho I.trd
teIgneth." My Father w.rkoth hitherto"
"AIi things work together for gooi to then that
1nya (tnI"
, 1875-02-08

Ails. hosslie Cotton, Of Eptnal. France. wants
her beloved conplrY 70 baud over to her
~ oo'co0f, or &c, 100000, She claims this u
the he'r OF Jean Thiarry. who died 200 years ago.
1eln wAs tho aon ot shoemaker, aud ran away
from honle. lie acquired fortune and died at
Peniee, leaving liz tuopey to lis Lelss IN Fsauco.
ot the Bsuk Of Fepias. 1t wss difttoult 10 deior.
salne. III lhs uumber Of claimants, wAo wore tue
heirs, and this doubt lad lot baen solved wAeu
n,laparis sslzua tho treasurs Of tho ,lcb ely,
rnsfgy's foltune with the fest. py &lat sct. Ii
la oailnet, the Rseuoh u2tiun beo.iue respousl-
uia " YAloEry's 4s4gs.