The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1875-04-16
HIRAM JENKINS MISTAKE.

ECL btpAOOs 4NO A1AfA NOAl1A
have arrayed himself so gorgeousl,
simply for the purchase of tub o
fall butter or yoke of steers. Hi
hair was in state of distressing
smoothness, and seemed almost |
part of the glossy hat which covered
it. His coat and pantaloons wert
marvels in their way and his boots
which had been elaborately blacked
reflected back the rays Of the setting
sun in a manner perfectly binding
to the beholder. And yet notwith
standing his superiority in all these
respects to the lilies of the field
there was apparent in his actions :
singular sort of nervousness, a trepi-
dation almost, which rendered hi
appearance at once ridiculous anc
awkward. This trepidation was il
no wise lessened by the sudden vision
of red-headed urchin watching him
from the barn-door, and who. as the
team approached, with an ever
widening grin, sped off in the direc-
ton of the farmhouse and disap-
peared through the kitchen door.
Hiram voiSbconscious a minute after
wards of being the target for half q
dozen pair of eyes from the sitting
room windows, and itrequired extra
ordinary strength of mind on his part
to drive past the house to the shed
where the horses of all visitors were
hitched. There are few more awk-
ward things to do than to get out OF
in carriage when women are watch
ing, and though Hiram had prob
ably never thought Of the fact before
he fully experienced its truth, as en-
deavoring to spring genteelly from
the buggy, his foot slipped on the
wheel and he came down on his hands
and knees,in the dirt. His remarks
as he scrambled to his feet we're CON
fined to one word, but that, though
short, was the most expressive one
of the English language.
81 will have to go round to the
barn pump to wash my hands before
I can go in, said he to himself. 81
suppose they are having their owr
fun out of me in the house now
Confound it, I wish 1 hadn't start.
ed"
As he passed the horse barn, which
was partly open, he heard the SOUND
of voices. He listened, and his hear
sank as he recognized the tones o.
his rival, Elnathan Rogers.
81 want her bad," he was saying
"She just suits me. You can't al
ways have her, you know, and you
had better call the thing settled"
81 don't know about that, an.
swered the deacon, doubtfully. 81
have always said, come what would
I would never part with Jenny. But
you hang on SO, I don't know
"Say it's a bargain, deacon.
have thought it over a good while
and Jenny ] must have. Ill treat
her well, you may be sure Of that.
The deacon hesitated, blew his
nose, and finally said;
"She's got some little tricks that
nobody knows anything about but
me, and I don't want to impose upon
q neighbor."
"Oh pshaw ! that's only an excuse
deacon. I'm willing to risk it.
"She Kicked me in the stomach
last winter, and bit little Sammy mol
more than six weeks ago. lean show
you the scar now"
"Great kingl" thought Hiram,
"and here I was going to pop the
question this very evening Who
ever would have thought it!''
9TH take that out Of her." said
Elnathan, continuing the conyersa-
ton. eff she so much as lifts hei
foot against me, I'll give her licking
that'll last her a month. "
Click CALCULATED Hiram to him.
self, astonished beyond measure
click Jenny Bates Well, this goes
ahead of anything 1 ever heard of
And the old man don't say word
What next%
A pause ensued, which was broken
by the deacon.
"Well, if you must have her, you
must. / expect the old lady will
want something to say about it
though. She thinks as much oi
Jenny as do. Won't you come into
the house?"
"Not now. I've got to go down
to the village before dark. I'll be
round some time tomorrow.
Hiram Jenkins waited until he saw
his successful rival climb the fence
between the two farms Then he
deliberately unhitched his horse, goi
into his wagon and drove OFF, never
casting a look towards the window
where the fair Jenny sat in watchful
expectation. Not until he reached
his own door did he draw a long
breath.
1T seems Just like dream, said
he to himself as he slowly unbuckled
the harness. ITO think of Jenny
Bates kicking her own father and
biting her little brother, and she
looking as though butter wouldn't
melt in her mouth It's Just ai
mean, though, in the deacon to lick
rs it is for her to kick. The old
1 lhypocritel Well, l must say Tn
nightly deceived in the Bateses
/ / spose Elnathan Rogers feels cranky
enough now he s got her Iiust hope
she'll kick his head of. Lucky foi
me I overheard what I did "
Notwithstanding this seli-gratula-
ton, Hiram felt all the pangs Of dis
appointment and jealousy He had
not only lost his ''eirl," but he had
been cut out il the most mortifying
manner by a man he held in thorough
contempt. He felt that even with
what he now knew Of Jennys faults,
T = 4 4 ...1