The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1875-12-27
THE WRONG 'SNOOZER.'
How Party of Virginia city Miners
walked Up the Wrong Man.

An evening OF TWO slHCc, says LHe AoI"
ritoriQt Enterprise some of the employees
OF the Ophir Company found an intox-
icated man sleeping of his Oyer-allow-
ance of "tarantula juice among the
shavings in one of the temperance shops
near the works. They had some trouble
In getting the fellow aroused, and more
in getting him to comprehend where he
was, or rather that he was not in a place
where he legitimately belonged.
1t was determined by the men who
found the boozy party that they would
give him such fright that he would
meyer again venture within mile Of the
works. Therefore, they told their man
that they had positive orders to kill any
person found about the works after dark.
They said it was thing they did not
like to DO, but the works had lately been
DESTROYED by fire, and the company were
not in humor to take any more chances
their orders were imperative.
The man tried to beg of, saying that
ne did not know how he came into the
she'd and swearing by all that was good
and bad that he meant no harm, but all
wOI.d not do.
. He WAS seized and dragged some dis
tancc up the hill toward the Mas, mic
/ Cemetery, to place in the open coun-
trv, where five or SIX ritled cannon, be-
longing to the Nevada Artillery have
been standing since the fire. Two stout
men seized the trembling "snoozer,' and
placing his head in front of the
muzzle of one of the guns, told him he
had but three minutes TO live, as they
were about To blow his head off.
Again the man begged for mercy, say
ing that he had only taken a drop
too mnch and got into the shed he knew
not how, but certainly without any EVIL
intentions
Said man who had his place at the
breach of the gun, and was taking some
matches from his vest pocket.
"If you have any word to leave
for wife, an old father
and mother, or any friend or relative,
YOU will do well 10 make known your
wishes
~ reckon | haint got airy wife, or old
father or mother, or anybody else as
cares chaw of tobackcr about me
well, but have YOU no dying wish, no
dying requests?
Wall, now you talk. Mout make u
request?
You may, and be quick about it
lighting match, as when | apply this
match to the touch hole of this gun, OFT
goes your head. You have request to
mpkc?'
stranger, hev.'
"Out with it. then. We can't fool
with you all night when there. may be
other fire bugs prowling about the
works
Il kin hev my last request then 2
"You can"
You won't 90 back on me p
No"
"W hatever l AK You'll grant "
"Don't say so? Let's hear your
/ ding request, or dab goes match into
/ tins powder and oil goes your head
well, then, as | have your word rs II
gentleman, nv last and only desire Is
that you'll put me at the other end otthe
gun before yer stick that match inter lis
touch hole
Too thin cried all hands. "Good,
hut too thin! You don't get of that
way.
COB, ho!" said the snoozer, you go
back on yer wurd, du yer? Yer don t
know who | am, | reckon. You don't
/ know who you've picked up, Bill Slicer
from the Muddy Fork of the Mohican!'
And suddenly shaking himself free OF
the hold of the men who held his arms,
/ he reached down into the top Of his right
| boot and brought out revolver nearly
as large as "a gatling gun.
"Oh, hor' cooking his formidable shoot
ing iron, ''go back on your word2 Go
back on my dyi,' request? Now know
the kind of men I've got to deal with
/ Internal liars and murderers"
Half this speech had not been con.
/ cluded-indeed the pistol had hardly
clicked before there WAS wild scatter
| ing of the little party of practical jokers.
They ran behind the groupcs of can
! non, bounded over the cemetery fence
toward the shelter OF the tombstones, and
! in short rolled and tumbled in all direc.
| tions.
"Oh. hor' cried old Bill, "why don't
yer stand by yer gun? Come out OF yer
holes You've got Il bigger gun nor |
hav. but I've got the most shots, and I'll
give yer a fair fight and die game! Wall
here's some for you at random!' and
Old BdI let off a couple of shot among
the cannon and tombstones.
The jokers were mighty glad when
| their old snoozcr ceased to rage about
the spot, and took his way mutterinSIy
toward the distant lights Of the town.