The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1875-06-10
A DISTURBANCE IN CHURCH.
AN IRREVERENT CLUCKER.

The have had more trouble at our
Methodist meeting house. Last Sunday
Rev Mr.. Moody was just beginning his
sermon, and had uttered the words.
Brethren, [ wish to direct your attention
this morning to the fourth verse of the
twentieth chapter of Saint" when a
hen emerged from the recess beneath the
pulpit. As she bad just laid an egg, she
interrupted Mr.. Moody to announce the
fact to the congregation and he stopped
short as she walked out into the aisle,
scrcaching Kuk-kuk-kuk-kuk-to-ko
Observation-Disclosures p' Mr.. Moody
| contemplated her for Il moment, and then
concluded to 90 on but the sound Of his
voice seemed to provoke her to rivalry,
and so she put on pressure of five OF six
pounds to the square inch, and made such
a racket that the preacher stopped again
and said
"Will Deacon Grimes please remove
that disgraccful chicken from the meeting
house"
The deacon rose and proceed with the
| task. lie first tried to drive her toward
the door, but she lodged him, and, still
clucking vigorously, got her under the
seat in the front pew. Then the deacon
seized his umbrella and scooped her out
into the aisle again, after which he tried
to ''shoo" her toward the door but she
dartcd into a pew, hopped over the parti-
ton, came down in the opposite pew and
in the side aisle making noise like a
steam planning mill. The deacon didn't
like to climb over after her, so he went
round, and just as he got into the side
aisle the hen flew over into the middle
aisle again. Then the boys in the gallery
laughed, and the deacon began to grow
red in the face.
At last Mr.. Binns came out of his pew
to help, and both he and the deacon made
a dash at the chicken from opposite direc-
tions, and she few up with wild cluck
to the gallery and pcrched on the edge,
while she gave excited expression to her
views by emitting about five hundred
clucks minute. The deacon flung a
hymnbook at her to scare her down again,
but he missed her and hit Billy Jones, a
Sunday school scholar, in the eye. Then
another boy in the gallery made dash
at her, and reached so far over that he
tumbled and fell on Mrs. Miskcy's new
bonnet, whereupon she said that he was
predestined for the gallows. The crash
scared the hen, and she flew over and
roasted on the stovepipe that ran along
just under the ceiling fairly howling with
fright In order to bring her down the
deacon and Mr.. Binns both beat on the
lower part of the pipe with their UNI
brellas, and at the fifth or sixth knock the
pipe separated and about forty feet Of it
came down with crash, emptying a par
rel or two Of SCOT over the congregation.
There were women in that congregation
who went home looking as if they had
been working i'll Il coal mine, and wishing
they could stab Deacon Grimes without
being hung for murder The hen came
down with the stovcpipe, and, as she few
by Mr.. Binns, he made dash at her with
his umbrella and Knocked her through Il
fifteen-dollar pane of glass, whcrcupon
she landed in the street, and hoped off
clucking insanely. Then Mr.. Moody ad-
journed the congregation. They are going
TO expel the owner Of that hen from the
church when they discover his Identity
lhar AdeLcr IN the Ne1o York. Weekly.