The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-05-07
Wit and HulnNr.


ENGAGED for the next set-hens.
NATURES spring suit-a bloomer.
ROOTED sorrow-An aching tooth.
A CHILD of the sea-A harbor-buoV.
A DISTANT relation-Your Ant-Ipodes.
LOVERS do the cooling before marriage,
and tradesmen do the billing after it.
MUSINGS among the apple-stands-
"Buy their fruits-ye shall know them"
THE man who courted an investigation
saws it isn't so good as an affectionate
girl.
WHY is naming the day" like anava
battle. Because it's a marrytime en-
gagement.
OCULAR entomology-Professor: De-
fine black beetle. Pupil A coaly
hopterous insect.
CANAL Misunderstanding low bridge"
to prima donna who used to cook on a
canal boat, just to see her drop.
EVERY one turns his dreams into reali-
ties rs far as he can man is cold as ice
to the truth, hot as fire to falsehood.
The man who sang, "Oh breathe no
more that simple air, went into the
smoking car, where it was more mixed.
BE not offended at Jest. If one
throw never so much salt at thee, thou
will receive no harm unless thou art raw.
WHY are the fond chances mother
casts upon her baby like Turkish cav
alry2 Because they are mammy-looks
(Mamelukes).
WHEN the songs gone out of your life,
you can't start another while it's airing
ing in your ears, but it's best to have a
bit of silence, and out o. that may be
psalm II come by and by.
WE know men who will patiently sit
for an hour waiting for an opponent to
study out move on a checker board,
yet will growl if they have to wait ten
minutes for their dinner.
How PROUDLY we enjoy what we have won in wars
The wounds are healed; how well become US
Yet conflict leaves a sting behind it in the heartl
The honorable scars will in bad weather smart!
-RuckeTt.
A GOOD way to restore a man appar
emily drowned, is to first dry him thor
oughly inside and out, and then clap
speaking trumpet to his ear and inform
him that his mother-in-law is dead.
A YOUNG lady, while out walking,
heard, for the first time, of ker mothers
intention to marry again, and she was
obliged to sit right down and cry about
it. She could not go step-farther.
THE man who tried to enforce conjugal
obedience with cowhide subsequently,
remarked, as he put fresh piece of
court plaster on his nose, that he had
wife who couldn't be beat anywhere.
THE tenor and soprano in Boston
choir are to be married soon. A wag
says: "They met by chants, the usual
way. Perhaps if they were to in-choir
of some married man they might not
duet"
I" Ny DEAR" said wife to her has
band, do you know what is the most
curious thing in the world 2" "Yes,
madam" grufly answered the brute,
"the most curious thing in the world is
a woman WHO'S not curious.
"WHY, what drove you from home
ouCu ploscI uiSilI dS ILLS dSkeu u
woman of a poor little boy, shivering
and crying at the corner of a street.
+" Cross words" he answered, with the
tears streaming down his cheeks.
The Baptists of Catskill, at COM
munion, recently found themselves with
out wine. A thief had, somehow, stolen
it, and the Recorder adds: "Any man
who would rob church will slide down
hill in his grandmother's coffin.
SOME men always want to cast cloud
of gloom over good thing. For exam
pie, when Mr.. Harrison, of Delaware,
found that he must die, he said to his
wife Jane, you'll have full swing
now, and it won't be year before you'll
be in the poor-house. She didn't take
a bit of comfort Mt the funeral.
AN elegant edition of the Scriptures
was sent to Washington paper for no.
tice. The volume was placed in the
hands of the regular book reviewer of
the establishment, who read it entirely
through, and proceeded to speak of it in
high terms as meritorious original pro-
duction. Fortunately his mistake was
discovered by the chief