Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-11-24
ALI Sorts.


PROBLEM in optics Can cross-eyed
man be natural eyed
ONLY hackmen are doing a driving
business.
HOPE of i'll gain is the beginning of
loss. -Democritus
"WEL1, I'll divorce you this time.
but mind not another decree shall you
have from this Court till you are
eighteen" said Judge at Sioux City,
as he granted divorce to petition
er OF Is, and awarded her the custody
of the child.
he was countryman and went to
Paris. They showed him the LAGOON,
and told him it was 'sthe three Graces"
He said, "Ah, yes-Liberty, Equality
and Fraternity" s.That is Il the three
Graces Of the Republic r s.But," he
said, "What is the serpent 90 ssThe
Commune, of COURSE"
LADY CLARA WE'RE DE WERE. 90 Can
you tell me, Jane, what you most want
for your wedding?" Jane: ssReally, my
Lady, / can't 'ardly say, I 'aven't got
nothing; but you know best, my Lady
anything just what you'd want, my
Lady, if you was in the same position"
Punch.
THERE may be such thing as love
at first sight, remarked Detroit girl
as she twisted "friz F" around the
curling iron, 'but / don't believe In it.
There's Fred, I saw him a hundred
times before / loved him. In fact, /
shouldn't have fallen in love when /
did, if his father hadn't given him that
house and lot"
HERE is ''postal" written by De-
troit wife to her absent husband: ST am
most sick, baby is under the doctors
care, and James and the other children
have the measles The rest of us are
usually we'll All the women are wear
ing black combs, and don't forget to
write often. We all send our love, and
our house almost got on fire, Last night"
JANE.
A CERTAIN colored deacon, On occasion
of missionary collections, was wont to
shut his eyes and sing ssFly abroad.
thou mighty Gospel" with such earn
estness and JUNCTION that he would quite
forget to see the plate as it came
around. "Oh, yes!" said the plate
bearer. "but just you give something
to make it fly" hgsa
The Spanish ship Pauzacolina, which
cleared from Cadiz recently, is prob
ably one of the oldest American built
vessels afoat. 1t was built in 1908, In
Navy Cove, opposite Pensacola, by
workmen sent from Spain. Her burden
was $50 tons in the registration of that
f;y,oo o,,I I,o,, ooo4 CID 0nO -, C,oo,;ob
gold. The frame is of Florida live oak,
She has been on duty 81 years.
"PA, be you a Universalist y ono,
my son; the Universalis5s indulge the
erroneous belief that there is DO hell:
couldn't be Universalist. y PA, if
there isn't any Lad place Ike that, viii
the water companies and gas companies
go to heaven?'' "Well. I don't know,
my son; they may. There's no telling
what might be done if there should be
plenty of room OH the extreme back
seats
SEVERAL railway companies in Ger
many are experimenting with different
systems Of signaling their interest in
the matter being quickened by the
number of fires which took place last
winter in sleeping carriages. Electric
communication is found to be not only
costly but Enthusiastically, and the So
called English system of signaling
with line is not considered satisfac-
tory. In short trains experiments are
making with cord, which is carried by
ball and socket holder up to the steam
whistle.
A GOOD story is told of Lawyer E., Of
Brattleboro', and we pen it for the
readers of the Standard. E. and his
law partner D. were engaged as attor
neys for the defendant in breach of
promise suit, which was tried at the
last term of the Windham. County
Court The plaintiffs testimony had
been given, and e. saw that his client
was clearly in the wrong. Turning to
his partner, he said: "I'm going to ask
the Court to adjourn long enough for
me to take the defendant out and give
the id cuss licking. Woodstock
Standard.
DIR. WOLANsKI has discovered IN the
Government archives at Milan many
autographs of Calico not mentioned in
the Palarini collection, and relating es
pecially to Galileo's negotiations with
the Spanish Government for the adop-
ton of his system of using the geo.
graphical longitude in navigation, and
to his journey to Rome in 1924, when
he went off to offer his homage to Urban
VIII.
| A LITTLE fellow who was at neigh
| boris house about noon the other day
watched the preparations for dinner
with a great deal of interest, but when
asked to stay and eat something, he
promptly refused. ssWhy, yes, John
ny, you'd better stay" said the lady;
"why can't you? Well, cause,
said the little fellow, ina said
musn't unless you ask me three times.
They invited him twice more right OIL
A RECENT census of Charleston coun-
ty, S. c., shows that the colored popu
lation is increasing in more rapid ra-
ito than the white. In 1870 theswhites
numbered 1870, and the blacks 81, $50:
4 4 M H