The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-12-02
Miscellaneous.

If captains were less reckless, there
would be less wreck S.
New Bedford is said to have but one
whaler left-a schoolmaster.
and in internal turn-us.
! ETake care of the poor Indian and he'll
take hair of the white man.
Stanley says that African mosquitoes
are as big as a Kentucky chew of tobacco
Partisan ladies are said to 'look like
pencils covered with raiment.
You build the fires or I'll be widow"
is the way the Fat Contributors wife
talks.
Our devil lifted" the first stickful of
type he ever set and lifted" it success
fully too-into the space box.
The only thing that children can't see
partiality in is who gets the biggest end
of the bootjack when the old lady gets
mad
The schoolmaster who sat down on the
business end'' of pin that had been
ingeniously fixed on his chair, rose like
Phoenix.
81 An Indiana man picked up wild cat
in his barn in place of an Afghan. He
detected the difference in the millioneth
part of second.
An old lady in Detroit, hearing that
American Girl was dead, remarked:
I've allus said that this tight lacing
would lay EN- out some day"
A Detroit woman who was turned out
of her house for non-payment of rent,
went out in good style, putting on silks
and jewelry, and having her hair frizzed
in extra style for the occasion.
This is the way the newspapers talk in
Louisiana: "If that convicted thief and
robber. Jim Walker, wants any fuss with
US he can have steel or buckshot in un-
limited quantities by poking his nose
around our corner.
A lady put her watch under her pillow
the other night but couldn't keep it
there because it disturbed her sleep. And
there, all the time. was her bed-ticking
right underneath her, and she never
thought of that at all
If there is anything that will bring
tears to the eyes of an Indian tobacco
sign it is to witness young lady under
going the trying ordeal of endeavoring
to bring a fallen clothes-line, full of
clothes, to realization of its solemn
duty.
The water is so low in some of the
Western rivers that the catfish have to
stand on their heads to breathe.
"o'Thello'' is the way that Milwau-
kee compositor, of Irish descent, prints"
the name of the Moor of Venice.
The difference between perseverance
and obstinacy is that one often comes
from strong will, and the other from
strong won't.
A Vincennes, Ind, man and his wife
after stand up and fight of nearly an
hour concluded to call it "a draw" She
drew about six handfuls of hair out of
his head. JN Gt
An old edition of Morse's geography
says: Albany has four hundred dwelling
houses and twenty four hundred inhab-
itants, all standing with their gable ends
to the street"
The editor of the Bowmanville States
man naQ man nned ten dollars Tor
throwing an ink bottle at him. Yet this
editor has been singing ink at every
body else for years-only he didn't sling
it bottled up.
Poor fellow-he had good deal in
him." was the sorrowing remark of a
Mississippi editor over the body of a sub
scriber shot in a gin mill. The Coronor's
inquest subsequently verified the asser-
ton.
A lady, whose husband was very much
in the habit of proposing conundrums. was
one evening asked by her husband in an
excited tone: "Why are all these doors
left open p ~ give it up.P Instantly an
swered the lady.
You appear in new role, don't you,
old fellowT' was what the impertinent
young man remarked as he dug cock
roach out of his fresh bread at the break
fast table. A roseate flush permeated
the landlady's pallid cheek.
The London Advertiser says that q
Sarnia Man bet ten dollars that he could
ride the iy-wheel of q saw-mill, and as
his widow paid the bet, she remarked:
William was kind husband, but he did
net know much about fy-whe heels."