Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-06-06
DETROIT CURRENCY.
From the Free Press.

changes shirts once in two weeks
BISMARCK receives an average OF te
threatening letters per week, put noun. ~
prevents him from taking his lager at I'll
regular hour.
WIEN a snow storm drives i9Tme
ont of his potato patch May 1st, IT Is aoou
time TO offer the whole confoundcd couhu.
for twenty shillings and shotgun
OuEES VICTORIA will not have hanu
somer woman than herself around court
and the consequence is collection OF re
males as much uglier than Susan b. An
thony as can be imagined.
WHEN three hundred men Will tufL
out to ride after poor, sickly 1ox, anu
bnrrah and yell and jump fences ano
break suspender buttons, Dlo Lewis
needn't be blowing around that Americans
are melancholy race.
A DELAWARE man married woman
because she was deaf, and he thought
she'd keep her tongue still. So she ana,
bnt when he fell into the well and yelled
himself boarse trying to make her hear,
he wished that she had ears foot long
and could hear whisper mile away.
Chilly" said one boy to another on
West street, this morning, "oh DO you
see that gentleman going thereF
''Yeh."
"He's BIG I'm, you bet" was the con-
fdential whisper HE keeps sheets
wrapped all around his furniture"
A NELSON street woman being asked
if neighbor was slovenly, cautiously re-
piled: ,..,
~ can't say as to that, but she gave an
old woman one of her old wrappers the
other day, and she boiled it up and got
grease enough out of it to make gallon
of soap"
IT WILL Do IT.-They were married
last fall and they hadn't had one cross
word or sour look, when, the other
night he moved the cook stove into the
shanty and called her to hold the pipe up
while he gently knocked the joints to-
gether. She smiled sweetly as she re-
Billed: Eyes, my DEAR" but five minutes
hadn't passed before he yelled out:
"Durn it. l thought you knew some
thing"
And she threw two joints of pipe at him
and replied:
u want you to understand that We are
as strangers from this hour.'
OLD TIMEs.-While some men on
street car were reviving old recollections
one of them inquired:
docs any one remember the date of
the cholera season."
II can find out in half an hour" re-
piled man who had hitherto preserved
silence. "I've got note of $50 signed
by your father in that very year, and
that'll give the exact day and date!'
There wasn't any further talk about
slden days.
MAKING PREPARATIoNs-Ast two school
girls were posting letter the other morn
ing one of them said: "As | was telling
you, ma and I are going to the White
Mountains, to be gone all summer. I'm
going to have gray dress and green
dress, and blue dress and new hat and
new shoes, and ma says I'll probably find
beau; and she says I've got to COM
mence being dignifed, and left my gum
at home and shan't chew another bit nor
carry any more jaw-breakers to school,"
NONE For HM.-"Ish dere some led
der here for me" inquired German at
the general delivery window of the post
office, Saturday.
"No-none here" was the reply.
"Vhell, dot is queer" he continued,
getting his head into the window; my
neighbor gets sometimes dree ledders in
one day, und / get none. l bays more
daxes as he does, und hat never got one
ledder yet. How comes dose dings?"
A New TRIoK.-"Big Jack, " the news
boy, looked into a Michigan avenue
saloon where dozen men were PLAYING
cards, and standing in the door he called
out:
There's woman here who wants to
see fellow named -r'
That's my Wife" muttered several
different individuals in chorus, and thev
tumbled out of the back door into the
alley as if carried in the arms of tornado.
The PATENT ELEPHANT.-An elephant
in Calcutta had disease in his eyes. For
three days he had been completely blind.
his owner, an engineer officer, asked the
doctor If he could do anything to relieve
the poor animal.
The doctor said he would try the nj I
trate of silver, which was remedy COM
monty applied to similar diseases in the
human eye.
The large animal was ordered to lie
down, and at first, on the application of
the remedy, raised most extraordinary
roar at the acute pain which it occasioned.
The effect, however was wonderful. The
eye was in manner restored, and the an
imal could partially see.
The next day when he was brought and
heard the doctors voice, he Law down of
himself, placed his enormous head on
one side, curled up his trunk, drew in his
breath Just like man about to endure an
operation, gave sigh of relief when il
was over, and then by trunk and gesture.
evidently wished to express his gratitude,
A HAPPY FAMILY.-A Richmond, Ind.
newspaper vouches for the truth of the
living STORY.
;. THE lion had not yet been observed to
lie down with the lamb, but something
equal to it happened. A white cat with
four young kittens set up housekeeping !
IN box where there happened to be two
Voung rats. Instead of devourino them
: would have been natural, she adopted I
n ne and Afforded them the same nonr- t
S that she supplied to her kittens
Ana VI Sne kittens and one of the rats ,
S S Yesterday we called to see the
nappy family and found the three k;tte ns
sna the rat drawing their sustenanc. is
hhappy promiscuousness. The mother o -.
ona. s.' frequent caresses upon her littIs
1nes ana the rat came in for en- =, '.e