The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1875-06-10

'nlnk Oh the invitation to London ana tue
chance it affords of displaying all of those
qualities which make His Honor, like George
w., the first gentleman of the age, the more
we feel that he should change his mind and
accept the invitation of the Lord Mayor of
London to visit that city. We have sent SO
many doubtful Americans abroad to represent
our country that the time has come to select
one altogether worthy of our native land.
Most of our American friends have gone
abroad as agents for sewing machine compa-
MES or dealers in mining shares or as refu-
gees from Tammany Hall Now let us send
q real Mayor. Wlckham is not needed here.
The only undisputed duty left to him is to
review Irish processiors on ST. Patrick's
Day. Tllden exercises the higher functions
of the Office. Green takes care of the money.
Kelly makes oil the appointments. Morrissey
looks after the moral progress of Tammany.
There is really nothing for the Mayor to do
but to review the PROFESSIONS Just now we
ore preparing for Bunker Hill and other fes-
tivities, and the Mayor is the man to explain
tho real meaning of these events He would
reach London in time for Bunker Hill and
could strike terror into the British heart by
IN appropriate and exalted speech in Guild
hall upon the history and philosophy of that
event.
With Moody and Sankey as apostles of
American religion, why not Wickham as an
apostle of American craftsmanship? Then
think of the retinue that would sustain and
accompany him We could not, Of course
think of sending our Mayor alone and un-
attended on such an errand. Tho Prince
4 of Wales is about to visit India with
imperial pomp. The Mayor should go with
metropolitan splendor. There should be
representatives of all classes Let us show
the English what manner of men we have as
the moving spirits in our society-our law
yers, our divines our fnanciers, our states
men. Happily, also, there are many distin-
guished and able men who could we'll be
spared to attend the Mayor in his progress.
There are the four bosses-Tom Murphy,
Boss Of the Beet Eaters John Morrissey,
Boss Of the Short Hairs John Kelly, Boss of
the Swallow Tails, and Tom Dreamer, Boss of
tho Plug Uglies. These IllustrIous men would
make sensation in London They are our
princes, and not princes of day or of a new
creation, like the Cardinal, but descendants
of Irish kings. Then we have our finan-
cers-Jay Gould, King Of the Big Bonanzas
Uncle Dan, ex-King Of Quicksilver, and Uncle
Dick, the friend of Napoleon the Great
and of Vanderbilt, whose experience
in watered securities has led to his
being called the Admiral of the
street Let these three wonderful men
go to show Europe the sources Of our financial
greatness Big Bonanza Gould could explain
how to dosolate tho land with grasshoppers
when he is 'tshort" and how to convert the
alkali stretches into gold mines when he is
'long." Uncle Dan could show how it is
possible for great man to buy and sell mill
ions Of gold without having a specie dollar in
his wallet. Uncle Dick could demonstrate
how the British Empire could be converted
into shares and sold ''shor:" under morning
CALL
II the Sorosis ladies could be induced to &C
company the Mayor it would be happy thing
The ladies of this wonderful society for the
dissemination of tea and poetry and useful in
formation would aid largely 10 the Mayor
glory as he stalked down Pail Mall carrying
the American flag in one hand and the Ameri-
can eagle in another, with Patrick Sarsfeld
Gilmore ahead playing Yankee Doodle on
his bugle horn. Then we can well spare Mrs.
Stanton and Miss Anthony, and under pres
sure, Mrs. Victoria Dcmosthenes Woodruff.
Speaking Of clubs, there are the Lotos and the
Arcadian, associations devoted TO beer and elo-
quence and dining, composed of the most bril-
liant men in The land, who write verses to each
other, and who could illustrate the beautiful
religion Of mutual admiration. We can send
them ns "lealhead' guests. Since it is in
tended to have harmony in the progress"
there arc sunny Sunset Cox, and Gortchakoff
Wood and Terra oin Randall, from Philadel-
phia, to discuss the Spcaker5hip on the way,
with Commentator Wlik,s, who believes
Shakespeare TO have been an American, and
Commentator White, who believes him to be
anything you please, 70 kill time in tho roar
ing ATTITUDES. Jimmy Hiycs could be spared
also, and as Jimmy has been in penitential
mood since last election we could send John
Cochrane, an available statesman, without
visible means Of support, and the liveliest
man We have ever kno IN under 50 many mis-
fortunes, to cheer him up. Fred Conlling
has never been appreciated at home, and who
knows what would be his fortune abroad with
SO many crowns Begging? The treatment
Colonel Fred has received from his fellow
men is a stigma upon this generation. Once
the eyes Of royalty gazed upon that grand
glowing and peculiar brow there is no
knowing what his fate might be.
Speaking Of unappreciatod men, we had
almost forgotten our old friends Disbeckcr
and Grcen-Disbecler, who finds the balm of
Gilead and sweet perfumes in tho garbage
beds, and Green, the Watchdog Of the Treas
ury suffering from hydrophobia Disbecker
ami Green should certainly 60. We are not