Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-10-21
ITEMS OF INTEREST.


LITERARY men can never be sure OF
having said smart thing unless they see
the proof"
MEN are sometimes called dead-heads,
but just now almost every horse you meet
is coughin'.-LoaoeUC Courier.
On, fitful autumn time.
How like TO good old apple sass thou art
Half sweet, half tart.
IT Is said there are nearly 2,OOO white
men in the Chickasaw nation, Indian
Territory, in violation of the intercourse
law.
THE Maine man who kicked a can of
nitro-glycerine out of his path won't be
bothered with any more earthly obstruc-
tons.
THE man at the fair who didn't get a
premium for his chickens exclaimed in
his grief: "H5nc tA9 Eac1t4yme''-" hens!
these tears"
THERE cannot be surer proof of low
origin or of an innate meanness of dispo-
sition than to be always talking and think
ing of being genteel.
PoLITENEss is the mother of peace.
She keeps familiarity and impotence from
being kicked to death, and often saves
herself broken head.
SHARKEY, the murderer, says he could
blind his eyes, tie his legs together, get
into sack, and then escape from New
York detective in broad daylight.
NOTHING makes boy SO mad as to
steal a ounce and crawl under barn I'M
der the impression that he has gobbled
something new in the line of California
pears.
RED CLOUD has come down five dollars
on his price of $4,000, 900 for the Black
Hills, and five dollars is a good deal of
money for an Indian to lose.-Detr0at
Free Press
A WAC seeing door nearly off its
hinges, in which condition it had been
some time, observed that when it had fall
en- and killed some one it would probably
be hung.
THERE are elks in Arizona that weigh
two tons after dressing. Either so, or else
the Arizona papers exaggerate, and it
doesn't seem as if an Arizona newspaper
would eXaggcrate-
IT has been demonstrated that American
peaches can be sent to England IN good
condition, but it yet remains to be seen if
the skins can fling John Bull flat on the
sidewalk in a proper way.-Detr0tt Free
Press.
THERE is ledge of rocks in New
Mexico acknowledged to be immensely
rich in precious ore, and yet the ledge is
valueless, there being no known means OF
separating the metal to advantage in its
peculiar amalgamation.
ENFANT TERRIBLE latter contemplating
visitor for some time)-Oh, MI. Brown,
let's have a game. We've got awhacking
big sponge upstairs. | wish you'd sponge
on pa now; it'd be such fun. He says you
always do at the club. Tableau.-Punch.
HOWEVER oppressive local taxation may
be in Virginia, the State taxes can never
be so great as to be burdensome. ltsProp
erty is assessed at 0ne-third of its value,
and BY a constitutional provision the State
taxes can never exceed five mills on the
dollar.
THE study of ant in the East is becom-
ing altogether too common. A clerk in q
grocery-store in New York has successful
" counterfeited one-dollar greenbacks
with pen and different-colored inks. A
slip of the pen hurt the looks of one Of
them and he is in Jail for it.
The Picton Canada Times perpetrates
the following on late baby-show:
Twenty-four babies all in row,
Twenty-four mammas also on show;
Twenty-four daddies happy as clans,
A show of live babies, none of your shams
A vision of angels dear little LAMBS.
The fortunes or misf0rtunes of certain
Kentucky family might form the plot of
French novel. Many years since the wife
of a wealthy and distinguished man, in a
fit of insanity, threw her two little sons
out of a Lofty window of her beautiful
home. One died, the other was un-
harmed. The mother was committed to
a lunatic asylum, where she remained
many years without recovering. By his
wealth and political influence the hus-
band procured an act of the Legislature
by which he became divorced from his
unfortunate wife. In the meanwhile the
son whom his mother had thrown from
the window had become atfianced to a
lovely girl; but she Tilted him and mar
ried his father, who gave her most of his
vast estate. Finally the father died, the
wife for the property, assisted by her son,
whose early love for his stepmother was
turned to gall by her unfalthfulness, and
transferred to the mother who attempted
to deprive him of life.