The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1875-02-27
"a sET-the Chinese.

/
A TEA sET-the Chinese.
TWISTED hemp cure felons.
A POOR RELATIONS carb-unoie.
| SOMETHING about Whitewater.
The Evening Post-the lamp post.
LIGHT wines may make heavy head.
A RARE fiower-the pink of polite
ness.
The key to an uncertain gait-whis-
key.
COLLECTORS know when their work is
dun.
WHY did Freedom shrek? Kos
ciusko fell.
HANGING is brisk, but with falling
tendency.
SPAIN took little bourbon on New
Years day.
"SALLY, what time do your folks
dine = Soon as you go away that's
missus orders.
| A CALIFORNIA man pounded his wife,
was fined 800, and he sold her silk dress
to pay the fine.
The best preparation to keep lady's
head ''free from chaps is report
| tuat SIle HIS no money.
"MARRY awidowerl not % said NATL
Ia. "Babies are like tooth brushes
everybody wants his own"
els this cheese rich 2" asked Bloggs
| of his grocer. Eyes was the candid re-
ply, ''therc S millions in it"
Ii has been cold enough in Kansas to
freeze whisky, and some of the drunk
ards have become solid men
The American Journal published in
Paris by the dentists, is filled with good
extracts, all accomplished without pay
ing.
THE Portland Press has discovered
new ''model hotel clerk" in that city.
Show the gentleman up to-Barnum's
at once.
TIE man who is kind and polite to his
mother-in-law has reached Vicksburg,
and is an object of general curiosity to
the people there.
Mr.. NAYLLE, of To: onto, was knock
ed down by mistake for another man,
recently. He hopes they'll hit the
right Maybe on the head, next time.
A CALIFORNIA preacher is preaching
on the best way to raise boys. We
have always found number IA boot
about the most effective of anything for
raising them.
AN advertisement Cor dry-goods
clerk reads wanted, young man to
be partly outdoor and partly behind
| the counter" 1t don't specify what
| part of the young man is to be out
door.
AN Indiana Sunday-school man
writes 10 Bible firm in New York:
''Send me some Sunday-school papers
and books. Let the books be about
pirates and indians as far as possible"
A YOUNG lady who went to the city to
see what was advertised as a 'Spectacu-
lar Drama" came home greatly disap-
pointed. She says not one of the actors
wore spectacles. -Norristocn Herald.
A CIRCUIT preacher in Missouri pray
ed for rain one night at a farmers
| house, and the farmer, who had horse
race arranged for the next day, was SO
mad that he turned the good man out
of doors.
IT looks bad to see dog preceding
his master down the street, and calmly
turn down the stairs to the first saloon
he approaches. 1t shows there is some
thing wrong, something lacking, a de-
plorable tendency on the part of the
dog.
A LAWYER once asked hotel-keeper
the following question eff man gives
you hundred pounds to keep for him,
and dies, what do you do? Do you pray
! for him % ''No sir, - replied the land
lord, Il pray for another just like
him"
DURING trial the Judge called wit
ness. No one answered, and elderly
man arose and solemnly said she is
gone" "Where is he gomez" asked the
Judge, in tender tone. 81 don't know,
but he is dead" was the guarded
answer.
"WHAT are you after, my DEAR" said
a grandmother to little boy, who was
| sliding along room and casting furt1ve
glances at gentleman who was paying
a visit. 81 am trying, grandma, to steal
papa hat out of the room without let
ting this gentleman see it; Re wants
him to think he's out.
A coLoRED preacher remarked
''When God made the fust man He set
him agin de fence to dry" Who
made the fencel" interrupted all
eager listener "Put dat man outi'' ex-
claimed the colored preacher; ''such
questions as dat d destroy all de theo-
| logy In de world.
A GENTLEMAN who waited 45 minutes
in Boston clearinghouse, one day last
week, for steak, III paying the bill
remarked to the proprietor: 81 think l
shall want another steak one week
from to-day" "All right" said the
| proprietor, ''You can order it then"
''But prefer to leave the order now, SO
that I shall not have to wait" said the
customer, as he turned to go.