The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-05-01
From the Detroit Free Prsa5l
l3rasser's Son Claudius.

THE FUN liz MADE FOR a NEIGHBOR's BOY DISTURB
NC THE OLD FoLks-A GOOD sHoT-sxAsHING
GLASS AND ACCUSING a POLICEMAN.
Mr.. Brasscr, who lives on Ninth avenue, has q
son about twelve years old named Claudius, and
the other evening this boy received permission to
allow a neighbours boy to stay all night with
him. The old people sleep down stairs IN the
sitting room, and tie boys were put into 4 room
directly above. When they went to bed Claudius
had the clothes line under his coat, and the
neighbours boy had a mask in bis pocket. They
didn't kneel down and say their prayers like good
boys and then jump into bed and tell bear sto-
ries, but as soon as the door was locked the
Brasser boy remarked:
You'll see more fun around here tonight
than would lie on a ten acre lot"
From q closet they brought out a cast-Off suit
Of Brasser's clothes, stuffed them with whatever
came handy, tied the mask and an old straw hat
on for a head. and while one boy was carefully
raising the window the other was tying the
clothes line around the d man The image was
lowered down in front Of the sitting-room win
dow, lifted Up and down once or twice, and old
Brasser was beard TO leap out Of bed with q 1ar.
He was Just beginning to doZe when he heard
sounds under his window, and his wife suggested
that it was a COW in the yard. He got up, pulled
the curtain away, and he beheld a man standing
there-he shouted out
Great bottles but it's a robber 3" and he
jumped into bed.
"Theodorius Brasser, are you a fool?" scream
ed the wife as he monopolized all the bed clothes
to cover up his head.
BE quiet, you old jade, you - he whispered;
- perhaps he'll 90 away
"Don't you call me a jade! she replied,
reaching over and trying to find his hair. {" Git
up and git the gun and blow his head off"
"Oh you do it,"
Git up, you old coward, - she snapped. "I1l
never live with you another day if you don't do
it!
Brasser turned up the lamp, sat up in bed, and
cried out
is that you, boys?"
Mercy on me git up yelled the wife, as
the straw man was knocking against the window.
"IIl blow his head off as clean as milk - said
Brasser in a loud voice as he got up. He struck
the stove three or four times, upset a chair, and
reached behind the foot of the bed and drew out
an old army musket.
NOW then for blood - he continued, as he
advanced to the window and lifted the curtain.
The man was there, face close the glass, and
he had such a malignant expression of counte-
nance that Brassar jumped back with a cry of
alarm.
"Kill him Shoot him down, YOU old noodle
head! ~ screamed the wife.
81 wildly thunder =! l will - replied Brasser,
and he blazed away, and tore out nearly all the
lower sash.
The boys up stairs uttered a yell and a groan,
and Brasser jumped for the window to see if the
man was down. He wasn't. He stood right
there, and he made a leap at Brasser.
He's coming in -perlice boys -ho
p~erlice - roared the old man.
The shattered curtain permitted Mrs. Brasser to
catch sight of a man jumping up and down, and
she yelled:
"Theodorius, I'm going to f%aint!'
Faint and be darnedi Boys l-perlice =" he
replied, wolloping the sheet iron stove with the
poker.
Don't you dare to talk that way to me ~
shrieked the old woman, Receiving from her desire
to faint.
"Po-leece Poo-leece - now came from the
boys up stairs, and while one continued to shout
the other drew the man up, tore him limb from
limb and stretched the pieces.
Several neighbors were aroused, an officer came
up from the station, and a search of the premises
was made.
Not SO much as Il track in the snow was found,
and the officer put on an injured look and said to
Mr.. Brasser
"a guilty conscience needs no aCcuser."
THAT'S so :" chorused the indignant neigh
bors as they departed.
As Mr.. Brasser hung u quill: before the shat
tered window he remarked to his wife
Now see what an old cundurango you made
of yourself"
Don't fling any insults at me, or I'll choke
the attenuated life out of yourself!''
And the boys kicked around on the bed, chucked
each other in the ibis and cried
I'D rather be "a boy than be President -