The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-09-16

"A husband in Massachusetts can't
make up his mind on the currency ques-
ton, and so he refuses to allow his wife
any pin-money until decision can be ar
rived at
"a widow lady living near Goldridgc,
Randolph County, Ala, found, a few days
ago, on her farm, nugget Of gold weigh
ing two and half pounds and worth
about $500.
What word is that in the English
language the first two letters of which
signify man, the first three woman, the
first four great man, and the whole a
great woman? Heroine
AS an Arab clings to his horse, and as
an Indian clings to the legends of his
fathers, so do deaf men cling to the habit
of walking on railroad tracks. The loco
motive thins one out to find two more on
ahead.
I'm New Jersey the other day loco
motive ran into a train and killed two
men and destroyed 100 bushels ofpeaches.
lhere was a great deal of sadness ex-
pressed-over the loss of SO many nice
peaches.
Yes, it is easy enough to initiate Josh
Billings: A man IL like hen hi natur in
| doud with jest about so mulch "spred."
Tryin' tn bach out tn meny egs at onst is
| allus shure tn end oft in a onplczcnt
"smash.'
"A few days ago Norwich Comm
man bought chest of tea in Providence
and, on opening it, found a stone inside
weighing nearly eleven pounds. He re-
marked that the weighs of Providence are
mysterious.
| The census-takers of WinchendOn,
| Va, have come across a woman twenty-five
years old, married at twelve, who has had
ten children, the oldest being now thir
teen years old. Her husbands age is
thirty-nine.
| The fire burns, the water browns, the
| air consumes, the earth buries And per-
haps it would be we'll for our race if the
punishment Of our crimes against the
laws of men were as inevitable as the
punishment of crimes against the laws of
nature.
There is one thing that the poorest
peasant of all Prussia can do which the
proud and powerful Bismarck cannot-he
can sleep. This is thing outside the au
thority of the great Prince, who is com
PEELED, from wakefulness and fear of apo
plexy, to founder around in straw bed
like sick horse.
"A lady asked her little boy: "Have
you called your grandma to tea?" yes
When | went to call her she was asleep,
and did not wish to halloo at grandma,
nor shake her; so kissed her cheek and
that awoke her very softly. Then | ran
into the hall and said pretty loud: Grand
ma, tea is ready And she never knew
what woke her up"
No doubt at the present time there arc
a good many out of employment, bat sure
ly we should have nothing to parallel the
fact mentioned in late English paper
that, for situation worth $1,000, as clerk
to certain schools, there were upward of
a thousand applicants, while an advertise
ment for a Postofficc clerk about the same
time, brought out 1900 applicants
Toronto Globe.
During dense fog Mississippi
steamboat took landing. A traveller,
anxious to go ahead, came to the upper
turbed manager of the wheel and asked
why the boat stopped. "Too much fog;
can't see the river" but you can see
the stars overhead" eyes" replied the
urbane pilot, "but until the bilcr busts
we amt goin' that way" The passenger
went to bed satisfied.
"A gentleman in want of a house for
the summer months, in little town on
the west coast of Ireland, found COM
, modious residence close to the beach On
consulting the house-agent's board he
read: " House to be let. Apply opposite"
"Opposite!" cried he; "why, the house
faces the sea!' On making inquiry he
found that the house belonged to New
Yorker, who was open to receive offers.
Many years ago, bill being intro
duced in the Rhode Island Legislature
"for the organization Of the militia" a
hard-headed member who had been in
structed by his constituency not to let
, them city chaps have everything their
own way arose in his seat and said:
MIR. Speaker, goes in agia that bill. 1
goes in agin organs; they'll be dreadful
unhandy things in battle now, let me tell
you"
-Barstow hired farm of Norcross, in
, Suffolk, Va. Norcross one day walked
across field with a valued dog, when a
poisoned snake bit the dog. Norcross
sued Barstow, claiming that Barstow was
pecuniarily liable for injuries done by
: snakes on his premises. Barstow sued
Norcross for damages, claiming that the
farm was not worth the rent agreed upon
because of the presence of the snake on it.
The legal talent of the county is engaged
in these intricate SUITS