The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-17
HOW 1 BECAME A FARMER.

goodness sake, think that was going to
buy farm, for such were not my inten-
tions. No, not by any means. Why I
had never joined the Patrons of uus-
bandry was because l had been black
balled by that same organization some
why was not going to buy farm TIE
reader can easily guess-I hadn't the re-
quired amount Of funds.
But am wandering away from my
fine summer afternoon. To return, will
tell you why and what way was going
to become farmer:
My bank account was no more, and
my landlady would not wait with me for
another weeks board, hence my depart
urc from the city and my arrival among
farmers. The time was spring when [
wandered among the rural districts.
The grass was just starting from its
mother earth, and looked inviting in the
extreme to a lazy young man with the
world before him, aud no one to take
care of but himself. When l say invit-
ing don't mean inviting to eat, but to
lie down and take comfort thereon. l
threw myself on the green sward meath
the shade of friendly bush growing
near the roadside. l was lying thus,
dropping into delightful snooze, when
voice from the highway disturbed my
calm repose.
Say, young fellow, what's the mat
teri"
1 remained perfectly quiet, turning
the matter carefully over in my mind. l
was lying on my back, and, with very
little bodily exertion, raised my left leg
to a perpendicular position and gently
moved my foot up and down, and waited
to see the effect. And to this day I SOL
emily believe, though know am liable
to be killed for saying it, that this motion
was the sign of distress among the Pa
wagon was at my side. Bending over
me, he said
What ails you, young man."
said nothing for moment, wonder
ing eff what ails you" was the test
word, and, if so, what would be the
proper response. Finally groaned out
with mysterious and unknown work
ing of my tingers-the words, "Corn
bread" With a bounding heart l saw l
had beyond doubt hit the nail on the
head Without a word my fraternal
brother assisted me to rise, and led me
limping toward the wagon which stood
in the road near by. He helped me into
the wagon, and after l had imbibed
something from little brown Jug l was
able to tell my rescuer the story of my
wrongs. This will not repeat for rea-
sons best known to myself. Suffice it to
say That the farmer was deeply touched
by my tale. wound up by telling him
l wanted to get work ON farm.
"Well, now" said my rescuer, Il am
looking for cheap chap to work ON my
farm. Did you ever shear sheep?"
"Oh, yes" said, II have done as
much of that as any other work about the
farm"
This was the truth, for Ihad never been
on the ground of homestead in my life.
was just going to tell him what jolly
time had experienced last Christmas,
when the idea struck me l might be
treading on dangerous ground, so de-
termined to remain silent on the subject
until learned something about it.
How much will you pay month for
a good shearer?" l ventured, determined
not 10 air my ignorance?
"How much month";" said he, with
unmistakable establishment. "Why, man,
won't have shearing enough to last a
week"
ooh, yes" I replied, "shearing on a
small scale, understand"
"Small scale!' he repeated with
emphasis. "How many sheep are you
used to shearing in the spring."
ooh, that's all right" replied, coolly
" Of course you will not shear as many
sheep in the spring az in the fall" And
here l commenced to whistle an unknown
melody.
Young man." said my companion,
savagely, did you ever hear of shear
ing sheep in the fall?"
Without paying any attention to this
pointed question / asked:
"How much will you pay a month for
a farm hand, generally?'
"Well, III give about eight dollars a
month, and feed"
gave a prolonged whistle, wondering
what would have to feed, but not dar-
ing to asa.
What do you say, young man, do you
hire?"
didn't exactly understand him, but
said Eyes" at once.
We arrived at the farm little after
dark and at ten o'clock / got into bed
between two burly farm hands, and soon
dropped asleep to music of quacking
geese, barking dogs, and my two bed-fel-
lows snoring an accompaniment. In the
morning, or rather in the night, at half
past three, l was aroused from shearing
sheep by the man behind me rolling
over me and standing on the floor.
When was able to speak said:
"Who's sick?"
No reply.
where's the fire?'
"No foolin'. young man." was the
gruff reply. You'd better be tumblin'
out, or youll miss your breakfast"
a.:
jumping hurriedly into his pants and his
boots.
"Well, you're hungrier than l ever was,
although I've often been in need of a
square meal. But think I would have
to be pretty bad off before 1 would hurry
ss you do"
But ere had finished my audience
was half way downstairs. l rose, and
leisurely put on my clothes and went
downstairs, guided by piece OF tallow
candle sputtering in an old dirty
lantern. When landed in the kitchen
l found the farmer, his son, and two
hired men standing before a bench, on
which were about a half dozen lanterns
similar to the one in my bed-chamber.
was astonished. Could it be possible
that these dirty lanterns were produc-
tons of the farm:
Heres your lantern, young feller,"
said the boss" as I heard the two men
call him.
l took the proffered production. and in
solemn silence we marched through the
back door in single file, and wendell our
way in the direction of the barn; the boss
taking the lead, the two hired men next,
and the author CALAMITY bringing up the
rear.
thought this strange way of going
to breakfast, but said nothing. was
not thoroughly awake, and, as we were
thus marching along, fell into sort of
doze, and dreamed was on railroad
train and the men before were my brake
men.
" All aboard" / shouted, swinging my
lantern above my head.
l suddenly became aware of my mis-
take. l had struck the next man in front
OF me on the nose, and, strange as it may