The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-02-19
A CALUMNY RETRACrED.
And q Girl and Her Lover Made Ezaunr
STYLE An Nevas7a A~~kSPS

And Girl and Her Lover Made Happy
Style I'm Nevada
The fashion reporter of an Austin
City (Nev. paper described the belle of
the masquerade ball in the following
astounding language:
The most gorgeous, stunning high
toned, richest, fastest-classest, incest, or any
other adjective for costume in the outfit
was that worn by Miss frankie Clarke She
was the hifalutinest, gayest and gallusest
room as page, and she was page that any
man would leave another to read. Both iu
costume and action she was perfect as 3
big sunfower."
A couple of days after the appear
ance of tae notice, into the editorial
room of the paper stalked o young man.
His brow was wrapped in thunder, his
clasped big lump of hickory. He
pointing his finger to the paragraph,
wrote that 'ere." st am the individ-
.ual, !" replied the person. What did
yer go and do it for, that's wat want
to know?'' "Oh, because I thought
you'd like to see your girl made out
one of the most bewitching females
that was ever set on earth to keep a
man from his hash and drive balmy
sleep from bis pillow" "Now, look
here, ever sence that was published I
can't get word out on her. She sets in
front of the looking glass and keeps
gain on herself, and maxim squint
eyes at her dress, and puckerins up her
mouth, and actin as if she were q
blasted sight better'n nybody else. [
want this ere thing fixed, or there'n be
an editors situation vacant. He
looked significantly at the club. For q
moment the reporter stood in profound
thought thea his face frightened, and
he said, "I'1l fix it in next weeks pa
per. After you have seen the next is
sue, call and tell me the result" The
young man left, In the next week q
paper appeared the following para
graph /:
"a CoRREcr1oN.-We made grave mis-
scription of the masquerade ball, we acci-
dentaily substituted the name of Miss
frankie Clarke for that of Miss George
Waller. Any one who is acquainted with the
first named lady must have discovered the
error. It is true that she appeared for what
WAS intended as page, but she looked a
good deal more like boot-black III hard luck.
She is not good-1ooking, her actions were abb
surd, and every man in the room kept as far
from her as possible. She thinks of moving
out of this community. as it's unapprecia-
tive. When she goes she will be escorted
out of the town by a brass bande The people
of Austin will gladly miss her from among
them"
The next day the young man entered
the Office. In his hand he bore rifle,
and his belt was ornamented with q
big six-shooter and tremendous bowie
knife. He sailed up TO the reporter.
50 look warlike, don't T? don't feel
bit like fghtin', you bet. You jest
oughter have seen her when she read
that correction. Why, she just danced
Jig with madness and she sot down
and cried, and then she come up and
threw her arms around my neck, and
said Arthur, do you love me 2 You
bet your best bonnet on that said I.
Well, never expect me TO speak to you
again if you don't go and kill the fellow
wat writ that SANDER In course
promised And here am to kill you.
He laughed long and heartily. After q
time he quieted down, and the reporter
said :t I suppose, in order to make il
all right between you and your girl
I've got to become a corpse. I'll do it
Sit there minute and III fix the bust
ness" He sat down at desk, anC
scribbled away for few minutes, anG
then returned with sheet of paper, OF
which was written
"OBITuARY.-It grieves us to be compelled
to announce the sudden death OF MIR. Charles
Keller, the young and talented fashion ed
itor. In moment OF mental alteration ht
had slandered an estimable, accomplished ant
beautiful young lady of this city, named Mis-
Frankie Clarke. Yesterday her betrothet
called at this Office and aeked for the autho
OF the slander. aud, when he discovered him
shot him dead on the spot. This paper will
be unable to give fashion gossip hereafter
We find it impossible to fill the place left va
cant by Mr.. Keller, Though erratic, he was
man of kindly heart, and could listen NOR
attentively to stale stories and drink NOR,
bad whisky than any man in America.
"R. I. P.''
"That's your Sort" said the infuria
ted lover. "That's the thing to L
Come along, Mr.. Corpse. and hist littl
lightning. The lady was satisfie,
when the paragraph appeared in tn
next issue of the paper, her lover wa
regarded as hero, and the Austin pa
per ceased to give reports of fashiona
bic balls.- Chicago Tribune.
/ NruApu IN T Yearor eivoa th,