Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-05-19
Wit and Wisdom.

WHEN is an egg not oval-When you
turn it round.
A CRACK invisible to the naked eye
The crack of whip
WHY must logic have legs? Because
| it stands to reason.
THE law is not cheap, although it is
always bad at cost.
AN inside dental expense-Having a
tooth filed.
QUESTIONS of the day ?-One l or
two z, S, or C, able Or ible Il III Or
out.
HEAT generates motion. "-IIlustra-
ton: A small boy sitting down on hot
coal.
EVERY one turns his dreams into
realities as far as he can; man is cold as
ce to the truth, hot as fire to falsehood.
A PHILADELPHIA paper speaks Of 'sa
glazier 5000 feet long" A glazier Of
that sort would set a pane in skylight.
In the sallies of badinage polite fool
shines; but in gravity he is as awkward
as an elephant disporting.
MOST of our misfortunes are more
supportable than the comments Of our
friends upon them.
I HOLD it cowardice to rest mistrust-
full where a noble heart pawned an open
hand in sign of love.-ShakspeGre.
The little stream when it enters the
sea proclaims it's arrival. The river
forms the junction in silence.
HE whose emotion on the view of an
excellent production is to undervalue it,
will never have one of his own to show.
WHEN our work becomes pleasure,
it is we that make it SO; we are a sun
shine upon it, receiving the reflection in
return.
WHY is one of tho rank and-file who
has failed to obtain promotion like an
| illicit machine because he is a pri-
vate still
OLD LADY-'Is this a smoking car
riage ?" Fellow (6aasjde)-''No, marm;
| if you want to smoke you must go high
Ell up
Be not offended at a jest. If one
throw never so much salt at thee, thou
wilt receive no harm unless thou art
raw.
"PAr, what are you about-sweeping
out the room ?" "No,'' answers Pat.
s'I am sweeping out the dirt and leav-
ing the room
The dead alwuss git more praize than
the living. We don't envy them and
amt afrade to do the square thing OF
the ockasion.
WHEN the good Lord feels ennui, he
opens the windows Of heaven, and takes
a look out on the Partisan boulevards.-
| Heine.
HAD I succeeded well, I had been
reckoned among the wise; our minds are
disposed to Judge from the event. Eli
rjpides.
PATRICK says that the bad condition
of western railway is owing to the
fact that the whistling Of the locomo-
tive CO wakens the sleepers.'
LIFE would be a perpetual fea-huntif
a man were obliged to run down all the
innuendoes, inveracities, destinations
and suspicious which are uttered against
him.-Beecher,
A MAN is said to be ent-minded
when he thinks he has left his watch at
home and takes it out Of his pocket to
see if he has time to return home and
get it.
He who falls from the top round on
| the ladder ov Fame don't stop when
| he reaches bottom, but goes about ten
f, ct into the ground.
MAMMA Ito Freddy, who is learning
his letters)-Don't you know what that
is, Freddy? Why, that's A, apple-pie
isn't it Cissy, dear?' Cissy-" Well,
mama, should say an apple-pie If you
asked me-"
YOU'VE LADY VISITOR There-there.
don't cry like that, even suppose you
did fall down stairs and hurt yourself.
I shouldn't" Young Gentleman" On,
I dessay not; but [ amt got cnlnyon
like your
John, John, wake up, there's a
| burglar in the house., said the wife.
John sat upright in the bed. g Bur
glar, bur g-l-e-r, burglar, and he
rolled over waiting for harder word.
THERE is pleasure in contemplating
good: there is greater pleasure in re-
ceiving good; but the greatest pleasure
of all is in doing good, which cempre
bends the rest.
FAST young ladies, like fast race
horses, often win by bare neck, and
| vet with this d1tterence-the morse VIC
tory is due to space covered quickly,
the young ladies to space not covered
at all.
ST1NeY AUNT" Well, Robin, have
YOU enjoyed yourself? % Robin" Oh,
YES. aunt, but wish I hadn't come.
Brother Jim is sure to cry halves =
when I get home, and if I say you
didn't give me nothing, he'll punch my
head for story
A RESIDENT of Beaubien street came
to the Central Station yesterday to re-
late the fact that his wife had run away.
''Well, we'll try to arrest her." replied
| the Sergeant after hearing the particu-
lars of the case. '"That wasn't what I
came for" said the man with disap
pointed look; II want the detectives to
keep her on the run. "-Detroit Free
Press.
AN honest farmer was invited to at
tend a party at the village sources one
evening, where there was music, both
vocal and instrumental. On the follow
| ing morning he met one OF the guests'