The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-11-19
Wit aud HumOr,

Wit and HumOr.
A MAN of pith-The Alder man.
A CAPITAL sky-light-Th moon.
IT is not so much trouble for a man to
get rich as it is for him to tell when he's
got rich.
IwoNDERifit'ss sea sickness that makes
sailors always a-heaving up anchors -
exclaimed Aunt Hepzibah as she looked
thoughtfully up from the paper.
"JnIMY, give us the core of yer APP
pie, will yel" Jimmy (still eating),
"You don't want this, it's a cooking
apple. l never give "a Teller cooking
apple.
BUILDING castles in Spain, MIR. ST."
said the Ian dlady to Spicer, who was
thoughtfully regarding his breakfast
cup. "No, ma'am," said Spicer, "only
looking over my grounds in Java"
The season is now fairly arrived when
the father of the family absent-mindedly
picks up the poker by the hot end and
then lays it down again not so absent
mindedly. Still, no man of spirit will
admit that a woman knows how to fix the
fire.
A LOUISVILLE girl was shot in the foot,
day or two ago, and the doctors are
now engaged in mining for the ball.
One of them has worked his passage into
the foot for so great distance that they
are obliged to let his provisions down to
him 10y rope.
A MAN who called in at a Newburg
On. Y. jewelers. the other day to consult
the regulator, remarked as he got out
paper and pencil, that as he didn't have
his watch with him, he'd "iust mark the
correct time down, and set the watch
when he got home"
A LITTLE boy fell into the Woonasqua-
tucket river, Rhode Island, the other
day and was almost drowned ere his
playmates could tell where he was,
though they hadn't to run more than
halfway across the State for assist
arc e.
JOHNNY (reaching over table, want
apear. Father Haven't often told you
never to ask for things! Johnny ICON
sidering) Well, then-please, papa,
may have one without asking. Fond
mamma thinks he should have two for
that. London Fun.
SIMPKINs' clerk "Well, AIRY, where
did you spend your bank 'ohday 2" Ar.
ry: "Orfice I" Simpkins' clerk cor
flee what a shame !" AIRY "Not a
bit 'ad lot of gals and chaps and pick
nicked. Lunch on the desks, kiss-in-
the-ring i'll the guvnor's room, h'ice in
the safe, and pipes everywhere. Out
an'-out spree. Guvnor's sacked the
'ousekeeper ."-Hornet.
"MY friend" said Rev. Mr.. Kendall,
of Concord, n. H., to a well dressed
young stranger, who had volunteered to
stand by his horse while he stepped into
the bank, "my friend, am obliged to
you and when you ire as old as l am,
and am rs young as you are, / will do
as much for YOU" "But why don't you
invite me in to drink ?" was the rejoinder
to the astonished preacher.
Four men were enjoying little game
of euchre in q saloon, the other night,
when boy poked in his head, and said
"Theres woman out here who wants
to know if Mr.. - is in here" The
men didn't exactly hear what the name
was, but three of them got out of the
side door as suddenly as though small
pox patient had been brought in. There
| 10 hOthihS GIL OlllN tuC
one left was single man.
A FAMILY living on Case avenue found
good thickness of cream on some milk
that had been standing over night, and
when the milkman made his usual call
the pleased housewife exhibited the
cream and said : " never expected to
see this. The man looked at the cream,
winked wisely and solemnly, scratched
his head and replied "Wen, 1 don't
know what ails it, but you can throw it
out and III give you fresh pint in its
place !"-DetrOi Free Press.
HEAR the rolling of the Press,
Iron Press.
Printing tales of dire distress:
How IL bangs, and cl ngs, and slams
Through the long and dismal night
Wearied newsboys on the door
Sleep as the iron monster roars
With delight.
Keeping time, time, time,
With sort of crashing rhyme,
As II prints its thousand lies
To feast the hungry eyes
OF the patrons OF the Press
Press, Press, Press,