Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-12-16
PROPOSALS.

An Irish girl who was very anxious that
her scatter Drained brother should not be
refused by the demure young English
Oma with whom he had fallen desper-
ately in love implored him to try to pro-
pose with the seriousness becoming the
occasion. He vowed soIemnly that he
would behave as if he were acting as
chief 1Iourner at his fathers funeral. The
demure young lady, in imitation ofmany of
hercountrywom L, g~raciously accepted her
wild Irish lover. She, however, confided
to her bosom friend that Edmund had pro
posed in rather IL odd way. He had taken
her after church to see the family vault,
and had there, in a sepulchral voice,
asked her if she would like to lay her
bones beside his bones. This he evident
ly thought was a proper way to fulfill the
promise made to his sister Of treating the
matter with becoming seriousness.
1t was happily his first and last effort
in that direction. There must be many
hundred thousand proposals made annual
ly in the United Kingdom, but, as the
verb g to love- seems to admit of endless
conjugations, perhaps we shall have
ceased proposing, except by filling up a
printed form, before all its variations are
exhausted. At the commencement of each
year the Registrar General can foretell
with tolerable accuracy how many of Her
Majesty'S subjects will enter into the bonds
of holy matrimony before its conclusion.
A more than usualiy-abundant harvest
might increase the number beyond his
calculations; or a war might depress
them; but his average would not be very
far astray. Butwhat Registrar General can
tell the average numbero of proposals which
are made each year, or how many reiec-
tons 60 to make one marriage? Indeed
1t is by no means easy to define exactly
what is and what is not to be called a
proposal. When a man says to a girl
with whom he has waltZed several times
that if he becomes a Benedict he hopes his
wife will exactly resemble her and dress
precisely as she does, if the girl W
:" You must ask papa" there may reason
ably be q difference of opinion as to
whether the pretty speech can be twisted
GntO a proposal or not. When, however,
a shy man, having got his mother to plead
his cause, says to the beloved one, with a
tremulous gasp: " Won't you do the thing
my mother asked you?" there is no doubt
that, to all intents and purposes, he has
asked her to be his wife.
Proposals do not necessarily precede
marriage, any more than does marriage
necessarily succeed a proposal, and many
q servant-maid becomes a wife without
the young man with whom she has kept
company for 80 many alternate SUNDAYS
ever asking her in plain words. Much of
the romance of lOve-making has, in fact,
disappeared since the humber of marry.
ing men has become SO small in COMPARE
son with the number of women who wish
to become wives. A disagreeable fellow
with twenty Thousand a year may not be
able to win the particular Dukes daugh-
ter on whom he has set lis heart, but he
will not be condemned to a bachelor ex-
Istence because he cannot find plenty of
pretty young ladies ready to accept his
name and help him to spend his fortune.
1t is not uncommon to hear a mother
detail to her friends how Mr.. Longacres
would have proposed to dear May, but
that really, owing to the most extrordi-
nary complication of circumstances, he
never got an opportunity; and that now
ne is married to a designing little fortune
hunter, and is miserable. She tells how one
day he got SC far as to PROFOUND ariddle to
May, which, if she had only been able to
guess it, would have certainly led the
way to a declaration OF his affection. In
deed it really did amount to a proposal,
for what could be more plain than saying:
My first is myself, my second is a play
thing, my whole you are" Of course if
a woman is a mans idol he wants to
marry her. But poor May became so ag:-
tated by the way in which Mr.. Longacres
looked at her that, although she had
heard the riddle before, and recollected
its answer the moment he was gone, the
opportunity was unfortunately gone also.
Then the mother goes on to say that she
is quite sure one of Violet's lovers in
tended to come to the point in returning
from the Derby, but he lost so many dozen
pairs Of gloves from having backed the
tavorite that he also lost his temper. He
scarcely spoke to anyone the whole way
nome, although she had taken care to
give him an excellent luncheon and the
drlest CT champagne. The next week he
was ordered abroad, so of course had only
time TO say a hurried good-by.
Generally speaking, this idea of men
not being able to find opportunities to tell
their love is arrant nonsense A man NAV
sometimes not propose where he fears to
be refused, but when be wishes for a Yes,