The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-17
BILL AND THE WIDOW.

"Wife, said Ed. Wilbur one mornine
rs he sat stirring his coffee with one
hand and holding a plume on his
knee with the other, and looked across
the table into the bright eyes of his little
wife, wouldn't it be a good joke to get
bachelor Bill Smiley to take widow Wat
son TO Barnum's show next week?"
"You can't do it, Ed; he won't ask
her, he's so awful shy. Why, he came
by here the other morning when L was
hanging out the clothes, and he looked
over the fence and spoke, but when |
shook ont night-gown he blushed like
a girl and went away"
81 think / can manage it," said Ed;
"but I'll have to lie just little. But
then it wouldn't be much harm under
the circumstances, for | know she likes
him, and he don't dislike her, but just
as you say, he's so shy. I'll Just go over
to his place to borrow some bags of him,
and if don't bag him before l come
back don't kiss me for week, Nelly"
SO saying Ed. started, and while he is
moving the fields we will take a look at
Bill Smiley. He was rather cookbook
ing fellow, though his hair and whiskers
showed some gray hairs, and he had got
III a set of false teeth. But every one
said he was good soul, and so he was.
He had as good hundred-acre farm as
any in Norwich, with new house and
everything comfortable, and if he wanted
a wife, many girl would have jumped
at the chance like a rooster on a grass
hopper. But Bill was so bashful-always
was-and when Susan Sherrybottle,
whom he was SO sweet on, though he
never said "boo" to her, got married
to old Watson, he just drew his head in
like mud-turtle into his shell, and
there was no getting him out again,
though it had been noticed that since
Susan had become q widow, he paid
more attention to his clothes, and had
been very regular in his attendance at
the church the fair widow attended.
But here comes Ed. Wilbur.
"Good morning, Mr.. Smiley"
"Good morning, Mr.. Wilbur; what's
the news your wayg"
"Oh, nothing particular that | know
of," said Ed, "only Barnum's show
that everybody is talking about, and ev-
verybody and his girl are going to. L
was over to old Sockrider's last night,
and / see his son Gus has got new
buggy, and was scrubbing up his har-
ness, and he's got that whte-faced colt
of his rs slick as seal. ] understand
he thinks of taking Widow Watson to
the show. He's been hanging around
there good deal of late, but I'd just
like to cut him out, | would. Susan is
q nice little woman, and deserves n bet
ter man than that young pup of fellow,
though | would not blame her much if
she takes him, for she must be dread
fully lonesome, and then she has TO let
her farm out on shares, and it isn't half
worked, and no one else seems to have
the spunk to speak up to her. BY iingo!
if / were q single man I'd show You
trick or two"
So saying, Ed. borrowed some bags
and started around the corner OF the
barn, where he had left Bill sweeping,
and put his ear to knot-hole and lis
tened, knowing the bachelor had habit
of talking to himself when anything wor
ried him.
"Confound that young bagrider :"
said Bill, "what business has he there,
I'd like to know Got new buggy, has
hel Well, so have /, and new harness,
too: and his horse can't get sight of
yes, l will I'll go this very night
and ask her to go to the show with me.
I'll show Ed. Wilbur that ] amt such a
calf as he thinks / am, if L did let old
Watson get the start of ne in the first
place ~
Ed. could scarce help laughing out
right, but he hastily hitched the bags on
his shoulder, and with low chuckle mt
his success, started home to tell the news
TO Nelly; and. at about 3 O'Clock that
evening they saw Bill go by with his
horse and buggy, on his way to the wild
ow's. He logged along quietly, think
ing of the old singing-school days-and
what a pretty girl Susan was then, and
wondering inwardly if he would have
more courage now to talk up TO her
until, at a distance of about mile from
her house, he came to bridge, he gave
n tremendous sneeze that blew his teeth
out of his mouth, and clear over the
dashboard, and striking on the planks
they rolled over the side of the bridge,
and dropped into four feet of water.
Words cannot do justice to poor Bill,