Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-07-09

Ike him who, in the deserts awful frame
Natchca bis c1ckney initia on the Sphinx
IN GENEUAL.
One day ,ast week a smiling infant toddled
away from it, home near Viola, Iowa. on the
Dubuque Southwestern Railroad. and Law
down between the rails to sleep. 4 few mo-
mcnts later 4 tram came along and the en-
gineer, seeing be could not stop in time
pulled her wide open and banged the whole
train over the sleeping cherub before it woke,
AMI never touched 4 hair Of it. Had the lit
tie one attempted % rise it would have been
killed instantly.
There is boy in St. Louis who writes to
a sergeant Of police Dear Captain am
sorry to tell You that broke pane Of glass
in lamp-post on Twenty-third street. be-
tween Carr and Wash streets. on Sunday.
April >. | broke it with a ball aud the
policeman ran after me, but he could not
catch ne. So hope that this TWENTY-FIVE
cents Will pay for the glass, and that You
will forgive me, and promise that won t
play tall On the streets any more"
i well known lecturer was recently refuS-
ed admission to hall in Dubuque to hear his
own lecture, because he could not produce a
ticket
1t q recent wedding in Ohio the minister
was about to salute the bride, when she stay
ed him with, "No, mister, give up them
yanities now p"
The Burlington Iowa) Hq,rteqe noticing
the recent death Of Milton W. Blair. a for
mer merchant Of Louisa county, Iowa, in
California, states that last fall he was at
lacked with a fit of hiccoughing, which con-
tlnued for some weeks with scarcely anv in
termiSSion. He visited Burlington to con
suit with doctor, who, after treating him
awhile declared he could give him no relief.
Then he proceeded to Chicago, and consulted
the best medical authorities there, but they
could not relieve him. By their advice he
went to California, remaining in that State
10 the time OF his death, hiccoughing almost
continually, and having but few intervals of
rest The continued strain and distress
wore him 10 a mere shadow of his former
self
The Philadelphia Lelq.r's obituary man
got at his wits end the other dav, and made
IA mortuary hash, composed of fragments Of
several old iavorites as follows
We bai q little daughter.
She was our household trda,
Nlth sore AM lction a short time she bore
Phy-icilns were IN vain.
th-ist has relieved her OF all suffering pain.
Uoae 20 meet her brother, but not forgotten.
No wonder there is disinclination On the
part %! many to participate in the ccnten-
MIA.
\ young Scotch girl inquired of a gentle
luan, ia Broad Scotch, the road to the Ire
mont House. Boston. lie desired her TO fol-
low him, and asked her how long since she
had arrived from Scotland. sax weeks.
your honor. Ga their arrival ut their des-
tination, she very coolly inquired, "Noo sir,
wull ye Just tell Inc hoo We kenned was
frae Scotlan ?''
Mr. L. p. Carlyslc, New Orleans actor.
was recently engaged by an amateur dra-
matte association at kirksyille, Missouri.
to help them bring out Richard ILL., Mr.
Carlysle has now deep scalp wound, seven
inches long, inflicted by. the maiden sword Of
hciHoHd, an untamed amateur named Dick
Picker, who got excited" and identified
himself with the character ''
\ Western paper says ''the chief Of the
Osag5 Indians has tried to civilze himself
by stealing hens, running for Office, robbing
a post0itce and drinking crab apple brandy,
but i no 20 1t must have been a singu-
larly high stage Of civilization to which he
aSpired If, with all those sterling accomplish
ments, he really failed to reach it.
That ar patch of grounds mem 'rible,
said an Omaha man, pointing to a grave all
by itself outside the town. II reckin' You'll !
know that, stranger, when you see it ag'in. |
The ockypant Of that was the furst man
Ilorrus Greeley ever told to git wcst-like-
vrfa ha rVal T. -
An Ohio paper says The man who carries
the mail at Union City from the trains TO
the office is u clever fellow, but absentminded !
The other night the train was late, and he
reclined on the floor, pillowing his head on
dog, while he held the mail bag in his hand.
When the train came in he awoke, gave the !
mail bag kick, aud seized the dog by the
cuff Of the neck and tail and started for the
mail car. Thc messenger told him the dog
was nol properly stamped
Tie clear, loud. ringing voice, and at in
tervals, beseechingly, the riteous exclama-
tons Of man. Don't do that; don't do
that : also, the explanations Of the neigh
bor across the way speaking to a friend,
They re having a spelling-match over there, |
i often hear 'em.-the woman's got one
Of her bad spells, only this and nothing
more
They had had a spelling match down on
the hanks Of the tranquil MilpitaS. There 1
were twenty-seyen contestants, and twenty |
six went down on the first word, " cat, and |
the last man would have gone down too, |
only he suffered, and couldn't get in the !
second 4" t. quick enough Stockton Lead- |
e.
\ tall stranger entered d saloon on Frluo |
street yesterday, and. pulling off his coat. in
qnlred as there anybody here who wants |
10 lick me ?" Yes yes =" exclaimed halta- |
dozen loaters in chorus, as they rose up. Il |
thought there was - coolly replied the |
stranger, as he opened the door and walked |
out.-Darou Free Press.
A Kansas woman went into court and |
identified four quarts Of white beans which |
had been stolen from her and mixed with a |
whole barrel full.
a Parthian Shaft COOK Now. I'm !
leavin' OF yer, NJ 'um, ! may as well tell yer
as the key O. the kitchen-door fits your store
room -
4 resident Of Beaubien street called at the |
Central Station yesterday to relate the fact
that his wife had run away. .'Well. well /
try and arrest her, replied the Sergeant, |
after hearing the particulars of the case. /
That wasn't what | came for =" said the |
man, with disappointed look Il want the |
detectives to keep her on the run De I
trOlt Free Press.
1t is statistically computed that 100 .O00.- |
900 nuts Of various kinds are annually eaten |
in this country. Which fact the New Or |
leans Picayliae thinks NAV account for the |
prodigious number Of colonies.
In Germany, at one time. the period of 1
mourning was prescribed By law. 4 widow /
must drop the tributary tear" from six /
months to year, while the widower was
allowed to assuage his grief and soace his
loneliness with another spouse.afte six week.
or, at the most, six months. Miss Anthony
says sit is easy to see which sex made that
law"
A Long Search Rewarded 4 few days
since, says the Chicago Tribune, portly and
patriarchial gentleman might have been seen
passing along Leavitt street, pausing at each
house to ring the door bell. When it was
answered he always sighed heavily, and,
with mournful air, asked II gentleman
who wasn't known in the vicinity lived
there. At last he stopped before cottage
which gave to the eye an impression OF hum
bic comfort and refinement, if not grandeur,
and rang The mistress of the house an
swered the ring promptly. The old mans
face lighted up with pleasure, and taking
from his finger a diamond ring, the blazing :