The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-02-05
sALEERsRhx

Eiournal to secure the services of
"funny man." He belongs to the ranks
of the noble army of Danbury imitators,
and some of his attempts at wit are ex-
tremely gauzy. Occasionally, however,
a real gem escapes from the point of
his pen, as instance the following:
Salter had a boy who was not worth
the starch in his shirt-coliar to any one
His name was Nohle.N was appro--
Salfer hired ihsrhs hr1af$1 q week to
tend ofice..~Ha stayednwita Salter jnst
half an hour, when he discharged him.
His discharge was summary. The boy
came to the Office at 10 o'clock. Salters.
Gfter telling him what there was to do,
went across the street to see friend,-
leaving the bog dusting the furniture.
After having quite chat with his
friend, during. which he had told him
that he had got boy to work for him.
and that he hoped he could leave the
Office oftenef~ now, he returned. He
had been gone just fourteen minutes
by the watch,.s. It is astonishing how
much cussedness good health
boy can accomplish in fourteen
minutes. AS. Salter approached the
door he hearda medley of indescriba-
tble sounds within his Office. He opened
the door, and there was that noble boy
flying around the room with the broom,
after strange cat. AS he entered, the =
boy shouted, - Doggon it, boss, hurry
up and shut the door,. or she'll get out
| Oh Lord, can't She skin around,
though ?" Aud, making pass at the
cst with the broom, he smashed all the
glass out of the bookcase. Did Salter~
| get mad? Ol1ssnol He kept his tenn
per, but he started for that boy, and
| the boy, thinking thathe was after the
! cat, too, got more eTeGted than ever,
and yelled: :. There's She goes, blast
her old hide. Head her of, boss, head
her off Oh, glory Amt we having
time !" and, making anether pass at the
cat, he hit Salter on Stbe head with the
tbroom. and, running against him, upset
him into coat-scuttlGhnd rushed ON.
The cat making the>Spircuit of the
| room before 6alter had time to arise,
dashed across@his outstretched body.
and ripped great gSsass in his pants
and shirt-boson with Sfler claws, the
boy, following close after her, fell over
him. Picking Himself up he sat down
to take rest, while ther cat, hiding on
lltop of the bookcase, n{ewed piteously.
Then Salter arose. He did not let his.
temper get the better of his judgment,
but he was very pale. and trembled
perceptib1y. He reached for the boy.
Hegot a firm grip on his collar, and
started for the door. 7Khen he got out
side he placed that noble boy in front
of hira and kicEad him Clear out of his
coat. Then he dragged him to the
stairs and pitched hima6own flight of
ten steps, and then juMped down on
him, Then he plucked.ypt handful
of the boys hair and atgssed him out
on the walk. Tie boy picked himself
mp, gazed wistfa1Iy up fhe stairs, and,
while great tears of sorrow rolled down.
his cheeks, he sighed, 's.What bully
time could a-had with that cat.
Salter has concluded Enat he can get
alonga until spring without a boy. He
has adopted the 6at, and has posted up
notice 70 the effect that any boys
caught in the building will be shot on
sight.
TIE COST OF OUR sEUENT WAR.
Mr.. David Al. Wells-.has furnished
tie Golden Club~of England with an
essay upon the@axpensss, income and
taxes of the United States. We copy
the following statement Of the cost of
the rebellion .sss- s%
The whole cost of the war in the
Northerns and Southern States from
1861 to 1866 is Nestimatsa as follows:
Lives, 1000, 900 ,-properSy, by destruc-
tion. waste, etc. 30, ,OOO, 0OO, coo. The
gross expenditure of the Limited States
from June. 1851 TO July, 1866, S.. 1884,
257, 900. OF this-the actual war ex-
penses were about $5, 342, ,23g, 900.
The expenses OF States, counties
cities and towns ipthe Nofshern States,
not represented by ,fundeE debts, have
been estimated al $500, ,OOO, 900. The
increase of State46iSbts on the war ac-
count was $123, ,06f 600. The increase
OF city, town and ecunty debts is esti-
mated at 5000. .0O0soOO. YQtal war ex--
penses of sthe loyal Statesssnd the ma
tional goyernments 46, 165, ,2s7, 900.
The estimated direct expenditure of
the Confederate States dGaccount of
the war were 81, 600, 600. .QdT
Aggregate estimated e3renses of the
war to the country Northsand South
$5, 165, ,237, 600.
The total recei1s from~all sources
during the second year of ne war were
less thani $42. .OO0:@0o TNe expendi-
lures were $50, 0OO.O per 4nonth-at-
the rate Of $500, ,OOO. 600 a year.
A GIANT TRLEscoRE.-A telescope of
immense proportions has, GalignGui
says, been for some time past in course.
of manufacture at the Paris Observa-
tory. but is still far from its termiaa-
tion. It was commenced in 1865 by NJ.
Leon FoucaulE but Kthe death of that.