Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1875-10-06
Baseball.

".iu ~ clIy Ho" SuuuScu Will C-SN pti'ti
bushes. Then look into those optics ant
tell US tales of sympathy. And look Il,
that Mount Tom on our right cheek-bone
Base-ball That is the row.
1t came about thus. Secondary deploy
ment is too shirksome for the system. The
doctor said we needed exercise Doctor
knows. He told us to join base ball; W.
Joined. Bought Il book of instructions. anC
for five days studied it wisely. if not toe
well Then we bought sugar scoop cap
red belt, Il green shirt. yellow trousers
pumpkin-colored shoes and purple neck
tie, and, with lot Of other delegates
moved gently to the ground.
There We're two mines The mines were
antagonists. The ball is Il pretty1ittlc drol
OF softness. the size Of goose egg, ano
several degrees harder thtS a brick. The
two mines play against each other. 1t is {;
quiet game, much like chess, only little
more chase" than chess.
There was an umpire. His position is a
hard one. He sits on box and yells
fowl His duty is severe.
took the bat. 1t is murderous play.
thing, descended from Pocahontas to the
head of John Smith. The man in front O.
me was pitcher. He was nice" pitch
er. but he sent the balls hot. The man be
hind me was a catcher lie caught it, too
The umpire said - Play" 1t is the most
radical play know of, this baseball. Saw
ing cord-wood is moonlight rambles be
side baseball. SO the pitcher sent bal
toward me. 1t looked pretty coming. so
let it come. Then he sent another. l hi
it with the club and have it gently upward
Then | started to walk to the first base
The ball lit in the pitcher. or in his hands,
and somebody said he caught a fly. Alas,
poor fly, | walked leisurely toward the
base, another man took the bat. turned
to see how he was making it. and mule
kicked me on the cheek. The man said
it was the ball. 1t felt like mule. and
| reposed on the grass. The ball went
on
Pretty soon there were two more flies,
and three of us flew out. Then the other
nine came in and us nine went ont. This
was better. Just as | was standing on my
dignity in the left field. a hot bali, us they
call it. came sky-rocheting toward me. My
captain yelled. Take it,
| fastened gently forward to where the
ball was aiming to descend. Ihave good
eye to measure distances, and saw at a
glance where the little aerolite, was
to light. | put up my hand. How sweetly
the ball descended. Everybody looked
| felt something warm in my eve. "Muf-
fin yelled about ninety fellers. " Muffin,
ded-d. Its 4 cannon ball" For two
days I've had two pounds of raw beef on
that eye. and vet it paineth
Then | wanted to 90 home. but nv gen
tie captain said nay" SO mayed and
stayed. Pretty soon is was my strike.
: Brick to bat.' yelled the umpire. |
went. but not all serene, as was nv wont
The pitcher sent in one hip. l missed it
He sent in another neck high. 1t struck
me in the gullct. = Fowl" yelled the
umpire. He sent in the ball again. This
time took it square, and sent it down
the right field. through 4 parlor window.
a Kerosene lamp. and rip up against the
head of an infant who was quietly taking
his nap in his or its mothers arms Then
| slung the bat and meandered forth to the
first base; heard high words and looked
When slung the bat. had with it brok-
en- The Jaw of the umpire, and was fined
ten cents.
The game Went on. liked it. 1t is SO
much fun to run from base to base. just in
time TO be put out. or to chase ball three
fourths of i mile down hill, while the spec
tators Yell "mutfin.' :" 90 it, home
rum " so round rgain" or 90 round a
dozen times" Base ball is sweet little
game. When it came my turn to bat
again. noticed everybody moved back
about ten rods. The new umpire retreat
ed twelve. He WAS tmid. The pitcher
sent EN- in hot. Hot mills in time of war
are good But don't like 'em too hot for
fun. After while got a fair clip at it,
and You bet it went, cuttirY the daisies
down the right field. A fat man and his
dog sat in the shade of an oak. enjoying
the game. The ball broke the leg of the
dog and landed like IN engine in the cor
porositv of the fat man He was taken
home to die.
Then went on double-quick to the
field, and tried to stop 4 hot ball. 1t came
toward me, from the bat at the rate OF
nine miles a minute. l put up my hands
the ball went swiftly singing on its way,
taking all the skin from both my palms
with it.
More raw beef.
That was an cventful chap who first in
vented baseball. It's such fun I've play
ed five games, and this is the glowing re-
suit:
Twentv-seven dollars paid out for things.
One bunged eye-badly bunged.
One broken little finger
One bump on the head.
Nineteen lame backs.
A sore jaw.
One thumb diSlocated.
Three sprained ankles
Five >wcllcd legs.
One di>located shoulder, from trying to
throw a ball Il thousand yards
Two hands raw. from trying to stop hot
balls
A lump the size of \ hornets nest on nv
left hip, well back.
A nose sweetly !jammcl. and five uni
forms spoiled from rolling in the dirt al
the bases.
have played two weeks, and don't think
like the game. There is not II square
inch on, in or under IN" but aches
sleep nights dreaming of i" hot balls, =
" FOULS and descending sky-rockets.' ,
never worked SO hard since Ruth stole
wheat and never was 50 lame since the
burning of Luther
Bat am proud of my proficiency in the
game. It's fine exercsc-a little easier
than being run through a thrashing mach
inc. and not much, either It's IA nice
game for 4 poet or orator-twill make one
=" sore" beyond all accounts.
I've looked over the scorers book, and
find that in two weeks I've broken seven
bats, made one tally, broken one umpire s
jaw, broken ten window, in adjoining
houses. killed baby. broken the leg of a
dog, and mortally injured the bread-b -blsk-
ct ola spectator. knocked five other play
ers out of time by singing my bat. and
Knocked the waterfall from Il school marn
who was standing twenty rods from the
field Il quiet looker-on.
I've used up fifteen bottles of arnic:
liniment. five bottles of lotions. halfa raw
beef, and am so full of pain that it seems
as ifmy bones We're broken bats. and nv
legs the limbs of Il dead horse-chestnui
instead of the once elegant trottcrs of
Bawlingly thine, BRICK POMEROY.
P. S.-All ladies in favor Of universal
snffering' are invited to join our club.
3. P.
A clergyman. having been inducted in.
to a living in Kent. took occasion during