Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-08-14
ASSORTED IOE-oREAM.


Sat ASSORTED IOI-gREAM. ! I'D
He slipped into an ice cream saloon
very softly, and when the girl asked
him what he wanted, he replied: .
"Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickles,
and mince pie" 49,.
" This is not restaurant; this is an
ice cream parlor," she said. 24 ~
.a" Then why did you ask me what ]
wanted fora Why didn't you bring on
your ice cream?" She went after it,
and as she returned he continued.
You see my dear girl, you must in
fer-you must reason. It isn't likely
that I would come into an ice cream
parlor to buy q grindstone, is it? You
didn't think I came in here to ask if
you had any baled hay, did your
She looked at him in great surprise,
and he went on:
7"If I owned hardware store and
you came in, would infer that you
came for something in my line. I
wouldn't step out and ask you if you
wanted to buy mule, would II"
She went away highly indignant.
An old lady was devouring dish of
cream at the next table, and the stran-
ger, after watching her for a moment,
called out:
My dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dish ?"
MERCY! mop she exclaimed, as
she wheeled around and dropped her
spoon. Il .rsq
"Well, I'm glad of it," he continued.
eff you find any, just let me know"
She looked at him for half minute,
picked up the spoon, laid it down
again, and then rose up and left the
room. She must have said something
to the proprietor, for he came running
in, and exclaimed:
Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice cream p
"No, sir" HIS
"You didn't?"
"No, sir, I did not; I merely re-
quested her, in case she found any such
ingredients, to inform mep'
Well, sir, that was mean trick"
My dear sir" said the stranger,
smiling softly, +" did you expect me to
ask the woman if she had found crow
bar or sledge hammer in her creams
1t is impossible, sir, for such articles to
be hidden away in such small Dishes"
The proprietor went away, growing,
and as the stranger quietly supped
away at his cream, two young ladies
came in, sat down near him, and Or
dered cream and cakes. He waited
until they had eaten little and then
he remarked:
"Beg pardon, ladies', but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste of
this creamY'
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not certain.
"Does it taste to you as if plug
of tobacco had fallen into the freezer p
he asked.
"Ah! kah r. they exclaimed, drop
ping their spoons and trying to spit out
what they had eaten. Both rushed out,
and it wasn't long before the proprietor
rushed in,
"See here, what in blazes are
you talking about p he demanded.
"What do you mean by plug of tobacco
in the freezer p aga
"My kind friend, I asked the ladies
if this cream tasted of plug tobacco.
I don't taste any such taste, and / don't
believe you used bit of tobacco in it'll"
"Well, you don't want to talk that
way around herer' continued the pro-
prietor. "My ice cream is pure, and
the man who says it isn't tells a bold
liew sf. .4o
He went away again, and woman
with long neck and a sad face satdown
and said to the girl that she would take
small dish of lemon ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken
about two mouthsful when the stranger
inquired:
"Excuse me, madam, but do you
know how this cream was made? Have
you an idea that they grated turnip and
chalk with the cream p 4.
She didn't reply. She slowly rose
up, wheeled around, and made for the
door. The stranger followed after, and
by great good luck his coat-tails cleared
the door an instant too soon to be
struck by FIVE pound box of figs,
hurled with great force by the indig-
nant proprietor. As he reached the
curbstone he halted, looked at the door
of the parlor add soliloquized:
There are times when people should
infer, and there are times when they
shouldn't. I suppose if I bad asked
that woman if she thought they had
hashed upa sawmill in the cream she'd
have felt circular saw going down
her throat" e s4,
eas- A Cape May belle says the sea-
baths are as exhilarating as the clasp
of lover" One Of these days that