The St. Cloud journal. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1866-1876, 1875-07-01
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so AK.

and the shadows flee away"
so AK.
English spelling match. Teacher:
Saloon" Scholar: "Hess-hay-hel-ho
-ho-hen-saloon.'
The hair from a lady's braid should
never be worn on the lapel of gent]eman's
coat, unless the parties are engaged.
Young swell II say, what do you do
with your clothes when you've worn them
out ?'-Ragged boy: "Wears 'em 'ome
ag'in."
-"Dry Rot" having proved failure as
the title of lecture, Anna Dickinson pro-
poses next to discourse upon "Moist Sub
jects."
The following legend is inscribed on
the front Of a butcher-shop in an inland
town of Pennsylvania; 'Kash pade for lit
| tel HALVES nut mourn two daze old.''
"A boy who is not strong enough to
spade up small onion bed between now
and the Fourth of July, will dig over ten
acre lot before breakfast looking for bait.
He held the old shirt up by the neck
before discarding it forever, but he wasn't
mourning for the garment. He only said,
II wish I had all the drinks again that have
gone through that old neckband."
"A man went home the other evening,
and found his house locked up. Getting in
at the window with considerable difficulty,
he found on a table note from his wife :.
~ have gone out you will find the door
key on one side of the door STEP"
Here is an extract from letter written
to her lover by a Montgomery, Ala, girl =:
"For your sake darling, I have quit using
chewing gum would you have quit gum
for me? would not have quit gum for any
other person in the whole world.'
| old Lady (who sleeps badly): "Now,
Mary, if should wantto light my candle
are the matches there ?"-Mary: Yes,
ma'am, there's wan" Old Lady: "One
Why, if it misses fire, or won't light'-
Mary: "Oh, dvil fear of it, ma'am. Sure,
1 thried it."
AS boy was going down Porter street,
yesterday, woman opened the front door
of house and called, "John John! John v'
As the boy paid no attention to the calls, a
pedestrian said to him: "Here, bub, your
mother is calling you." ''No she isn't,'
replied the lad, as he turned the corner ;
''she's only fathers second wife, and 1 want
her to understand that she can't run me p
Detroit Free Press.
| John, the man who attends to the small
duties around the Jail, was sent to the post
Office to mail letter and given three cents
with which to pay the postage. One Of
these cents was new coin, and not liking
to part with it, he gave the postmaster two
cents and brought back the other. Upon
being told it required three cents to pay the
postage, he complacently replied, "Welll lie,
it 60 as far as the two cents will carry il
thin.'
-Boggles and wife, riding out. Wife
says (on perceiving little old-fashioned
cottage standing without shade trees, the
thermometer among the nineties): "That's
a nice house, DEAR" can ice-house is it?
should say hot-house. However, let's in
vestigate. Here's youth who, not having
died early, will perhaps dilate. Sonny
what's that place there ?'' "Why, a house
to be sure. Ny mother keeps school there
"Keeps cool there, eh ? Well, my dear, it i
an ice-house sure enough"
This was the way it happened in q
town not far from Elmira sOne of the reg
ular attendants at Central Church is a rail
road conductor. He is regular not so mucl
from any personal inclination for Calvinism
as from the fact that he has a frst-rat,
Presbyterian wife, who keeps him in tn
way he should 30. A few days since one o
the deacons was absent, and our conducto,
was requested to pass the plate. Of cours
|
every thing passed off we'll. There was
regular financial shower of nickels an.
dimes, and the railroad man watched shar]
but couldn't see that anybody ''got away
without responding. Finally he came to
seat where the occupant was either buste'
or disinclined, for he shook his head, bu
made no attempt on his pocket. The con
ductor looked at him sharply, but no cas-
, appeared. Then he nudged his shoulde
and softly called, Tickets, sir ? Again th
mans head wagged horizontally, but tn
stamps didn't come. Pass, then whispere
the conductor. Still no response. Just a
, the railroad chap was about to call up tn
fireman and brakeman to help pitch tn
| impecunious worshipper out of doors, tn
, regular deacon came in and relieved til
proxy. The conductor says he believes j
running church the same way you woul
a railroad train-if man won't pay
| hasn't q pass. let him git"