The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1875-08-04

"A Milwaukee belle, attending a
theatre recently, complained in one of
the scenes that the light was too dim
TO show the acting properly. Wont
you try this glass p asked her escort.
handing her his lorgnetta. Hastily
covering the suspicious looking object
with her handkerchief, she placed it
to her lips. took long pull. and then
handed it back in great disgust, say
ing: why, there amt drop in it"
In an English Sunday school, the
Wears daughter. who was very proud
of her pupils how Queen Sheba came
railway. Miss" On asking for an ex-
PLANTATION she received the answer:
Because, Miss, the Bible says she
came to Jerusalem with q very heavy
train"
"Ob. yes, gimme Ten cents worth of
hair pins" added an up-river farmer,
as he was about to leave q store, and
while they we're being handed down
he continued: Its hair pins to-day
and ribbons tomorrow and tooth
brush the next day. The gal is al
ways wanting some film fam thing,
and shouldn't be surprised if she'd
some day get mp and want me to bring
back. Detroit Free Press.
A gentleman who had the misfor-
tune to lose his nose Was followed by
. beggar, who kept mp exclaiming:
Heaven preserve your honor's eye
sight" The gentleman was at last
irritated by his impunity, and eaid:
why do You wish my eyesight to be
preserved? Nothing ails my eyesight.
nor is likely to dc" mo. your hon
or" said the beggar, "but it will be
ead thing if it does, for you will have
nothing to rest your spectacles upon"
When Vassar College was built and
filed at once by about four hundred
inhabitants, none oi whom could find
one closet In the whole immense
building. Matthew Vassar was as
founded at being told that the girls
wanted closets. Why" he said,
they can have two nails in the wall,
one for their school dress, and one
for their best dress-and what do they
want moreY But in spite of the un-
reasonableness of the demand, the
closets had to be built after all.
well. Mr.. Miller" said Yankee,
proudly. to travelling Scot. as they
stood by the Falls of Niagara, rs it
not wonderful? In your country you
never saw anything like that
Like that !" said the Scot; there's a
far mair wonderful concern no twa
miles fra whar l was born" In
deed I" exclaimed Jonathan, with an
air of eupercillious skepticism, "and
pray what kind of concern may it be?'
"Weel, man.. replied Sawney, Its q
peacock with wooden leg"
While stopping over night at a farm
houae out West, q traveller was aston
ished to see his hostess walk up to
her husband about every fifteen min
utes and box bis ears or give his hair
a pull. In the morning the guest see
ing the woman alone, asked an expla-
nation of her strange conduct, and
her reply was You see, stranger,
me and the old man has been fghtin'
for ten years to see who shall boss
this ere ranch, and / have jest got
him cowed, but if should let up on
him for day l.c would turn on me
again, and my work would all be for
nothing.
A case of mistaken identity took
place as the cars left the Newark de-
pot. A pretty girl. with her hand
kerchief up to her eyes. had seen her
lover seat himself in the last seat OF a
car, but while she was bathed in tears,
she did not see that the train had
backed, and q different car stood in
front of her; but presently she looked
up and with sweet smile said good
bye darling" to an astoniehed and
bashful young man who was sitting
there, in the place where the other
fellow should have been.