Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-10-15
KULTUM In PARVO.

but it ends up in gold mine.
No PERSON is perfectly civilized who
makes trumpet of his nose in public.
A MILD winter is predicted because
Jack Frost has been sent to the Kentucky
Penitentiary.
MANY haunted heart is hidden behind
a diamond pin and marble-front shirt
bosom.
A RESIDENT of Harrisburg, Pa, has a
collection of 1000 copper coins, no two of
which are alike.
A MAN in Tioga County, Pa, has raised
two crops of potatoes on the same piece of
ground this season.
AN exchange philosophically remarks
that the most eloquent man is the man
who means what he says.
THE average human will chase dozen
miles to discover bad deed and not raise
his eyes to see good act.
A HIBERNIAN horticulturist exemplifiest
the multiplying powers of nature by point
ing out how pears grow into threes.
KEROSENE, buzz-saws, guns and
threshing- machines are all pulling togeth-
er to make this busy world-forthe Cor
oner.
"MUsH and milk festivals" and "apple-
butter parties are social events frequent
ly chronicled of late in Pennsylvania
papers.
ISN'T it strange that while Nature
clothes the trees with thick foliage in the
summer she makes them go bare in the
winter.
If carpet-tacks were not so much given
to the acrobatic feat of standing on their
heads they would save great deal ofpain
in this world.
A PENNSYLVANIA, to prove that potato
bugs are not poisonous, swallowed hand
full of them The last articles he vomited
up were his socks.
EVERY young woman contemplating
marriage should studiously prepare her.
self for that condition by learning how to
split kindling-wood.
top above;
In the fall a young gals fancy turns to
strings that match her glove.
Boston Traveller.
THE people of the Colorado Valley in
Texas are going largely into the sugar
growing business. Land and climate are
both adapted to the purpose.
THE Herald Of Health announces the
remarkable scientific discovery that
6 freckles indicate defect in digestion"
which is really something new under the
sun. b
THE Detroit Free Press has heard that
a certain woman is writing a lecture on
Woman's Duties" and cruelty suggests
that her first duty is to burn the manu-
script.
A MAN can see more bad things in
circle of humans in minute, after he has
been kicked out of it, than he could have
seen in year had he been permitted to
remain.
TWENTY-FIVE and in some cases so per
cent. has been taken off from the price of
yet there are hundreds of tenements stand
ing idle.
A "MoosE TRoT" came off at Ottawa,
Ont, the other day. The animal is said
to be perfectly domesticated, exceedingly
trotters in the world.
A GEORGIAN local editor is taken across
the knee of the Columbus Enquirer for
rushing into print about the "extreme
felicity with which he sampled some
sorghum sirup."
THE wedding season is now fairly open,
with the supply of brides fully equal to
the demand; bridegrooms shaky, with a
disposition on the part of maternal OPP
orators to bull the market.
THE Paterson IN. j. Guardian says
that the outlook for the locomotive works
of that city was never darker than atpres-
emit. There is scarcely any prospect OF
work for the coming winter.
AN Arab chief at the Marseilles opera
especially admired the trombone player,
expressing his wonder to see that
Christian swallow SO much brass. can
not yet comprehend where he puts it,
Miss SOPHIA ARMS, of Springfield,
Mass, in somnambullstic freak cut all
the hair from her head one night recently.
To avoid similar mistakes, young ladies
should take off their ringlets and frizzes
before going to sleep.
MISS ANNIE WYATT, of Shady Dale,
Jasper County, has a wonderful pet
pigeon, which alights on her piano
while she is playing and goes through the
evolutions of a waltz with remarkable ease
and grace.-Saoanaaah (GG.) NeDs.
CHE builded better than he knew" re-
marked a shoemaker's wife about TWO
O'Clock in the morning, as she nerVousiy
grasped one of his pegged sole boots In
her right hand and patiently waited tor
the sound of his football on the stairs.
A ST.. LOUIS reporter was sent into the
country to gather crop statistics. About
dusk he reached a spot where the horse
power of threshing machine had been at
work, and he patiently followed the track
nearly all night When walked up from
slumber into which he has fallen eX
hausted, he said that it was dreadful
long distance between houses.
A JACKSONVILLE Qll.) physician, hav-
ing successfully removed one-half OF pa
TENTS tongue, has been overwhelmed With
applications from suffering husbands for
miles around to operate upon their wives.
Most of them suggest that he need not be
particular to leave one-half of the tongue
for use. but that one-sixth or one-tenth
wiz be quite Chicago Times.
In Kansas City, Mo, few days ago,
an Irishman named Pat Whilen saved the
life of an old man, snatching him from
before locomotive which would nave
run over him. Pat was paid for thus
within away his time by the magnlncent
Gift of two dollars from the Old man s
son who said he wouldn't have had the
old fellow killed just then for twice the
money-he couldn't spare time for the
| funeral.
No LONGER will the crafty resident of
Troy. N. Y, order the succulent oyster
stewed, nor roasted, nor fried; nor will he
hereafter indulge in the steaming fragrance
of the savory oyster-pie; nor yet in the
mysterious compound of escaloped oys-
tiers will he ever indulge. But noAe the
less will be the consumption OF tne
| luscious bivalve, though 1t Will De TAKEN
only on the half-shell. A sfr'cfsV sr"'n'"'