St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-07-09
Squibs.

Latin and Greek are all right, said
Delaware farmer as he halted his
team. "hut gimme Il man who can
plough around an apple tree 'thout
touching the roots.
Mark Twain SAYS: Il have seen
slower people than am and more de
IibcrItc people than am even quictrr.
and moIe li>tlcss than | am. But they
wcIr dead.
The Providence Journal calls for no
>upeltiuous. We don't believe the man
amount ut once.
\ Memphis man has invented Il tor
pcdo chicken which eNplodes if Il per
son takes hold of it, legs, or if il falls
on the ground. 1t is considered good
for thieves.
Challenging lawyer to Il colored jury
mau in Clinton. La: do you know
what Il verdict is - No. sab :" Did
vou ever see one p NO. sab, | n-b
her WAS ut Il show in my life
At Il circus. while the r"pr-walker
WAS gong through his performance. Il
/ boy twelve Years odd turned To an ac
Vuaintancc nt the same age and Ie
marked "Tom don't You wish You
could do that ?" Yes. | do" sadly re-
piled Tom. .'but my folks make me go
I school and are determined that
slIan't never he nobody =.
During clerical conference. the fol
. lowing conversation WAS heard between
two nrW>-hoN>: Il SAY. Jim. what's
the meaning of so many ministers be
/ III l,.,, I,."
.wrrcd Jim. >cornfully, "thrl always
meet once Il year 10 swap sermons.
Fond mother John. de look at that
child il has Your watch in its mouth
and will swallow it - John (who is Il
bachelor hrothern-law. and very fond
of hahicS) "Oh. don't he the least
alarmed. I've got hold of the chain.
1t cant 90 far.
Said one iIam to another. "lf it
wasn't sunday. how much would Nom
take for that lumber - "li it wasn't
sunday I'd tell I"u." WAS the very
proper reply.
All the newspapers say that. "tardl
nal AnIonclli suffers from the govt ON
the thild floor of the Vatican palace
NanN persons suffer from il in the great
toe.
One uf our Young men Whcn he was
married didn't want To patIonizc the
baker lie said bread tasted ever 81
much better made 10y her dear hand
, This delighted heI. But when Sh,
wanted Il Scuttlt of coal, and he sug-
gcStcd that she get il, aS the fire would
feel 50 much better if the coal wa'
brought 10y her dear hands, she wa>
dis"ustrd. Women';i are 50 changcahlc
/ \ man rushed hreathlcsslN into Il
! LAWYERS office IN 1t. Paul, and, ap-
! proachiug the legal luminary, eAciledll
remarked. ~ man has tied Il hoop t,
= my holsc'S tail Can d" ANY thing :
YES" replied the attorney "go and
. unite it," That WAS good advice, ana
cost the man but -.
\ Young man of Rochester, who wa
severely injured 10y jumping from =
u train. was 50 annoyed 10y questions as
10 how he MAS hunt that he had Il lalS,
number of caIds printed, which he gay,
. out to every one who looked inquiringl'
: at hi, face or said a word about il. Th,
= card read as follows: ''Bnsted thi'
= mos,. in jumping from Il train of ear
i near Fairport, Thursday, April %
i "leS." said the driver OF Il car to th'
man VIII" stood on the steps, ''she's
mighty nice mare for ear work k-leaSt
WAYS to look at. Kick? Well. y"n bet
Since I've had her. she's removed thu
p. insidrS from two horses hitched III Will
her: she's ravrd in her stall time
enough to make one carpenter rich, an'
e livcnrd up more'n one passenger; mem
:. her one ease in particular Nice ol'
e gent with Youngsters, goin, ont for
II SUNDAY picnic !; he'd ii basket of lunc
It covered up with Il table-cloth. Jest Il
Il he WAS gettin' of, the mare WORKED
Il round when | wasn't lookin, and sh
t. fetched that basket one clatter wit
u both feet / don't rightly know but sl
81 got in all four any ways, there WA
\ lunch for everybody within ten rod'
T.. whether he wanted it or not the papt
rs boys mostly did. Think the old ma
II saved the handle of the ham and tn
cork of one bottle. Sich Il nice lookII
ie beast as she is. too. Why, that maj
lh has been hough: out of the stables III
II leS-'n three times Il cause she was sec
y a gentle lookin' lndy's horse. Well, II
n good for the doctors and wagon makers
k. ANY how. Always slaves up the famil,
ns and gets back into the team less'n
~ week. Never was broke, she wasn't
he and never will be till she falls OIL
It house ChicagO Tribune.