The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-04-29
Wit and Wisdom.
TRoops of furies march in the drunk

TROOPS of furies march in the drunk
ards triumph. -1-.-.
New BRADFORD has but one whaler
left-a school master.
1A They do say that this winter closely
resembles that of 1701, Remember it.
!, HNT to managers of poultry shows
Exhibits some henpecked husbands.
IT is the high price of slate pencils
that is driving the saloon keepers to
the poor house. W..
p ADVICE (gratis) to the Dyspeptic.
Chew and eschew.-Puach.
Sooner or later deaf men repent of
walking on railroad.
r We should never play with favor; we
cannot too closely embrace it when it is
real, nor fly too far from it when it is
false. sz asss st-s.J-
THE lady who advertised lecture on
''Moods, was disguised at not having
the first person present.
rs THE Financial Chronicle estimates
that there is now over $500, 000,0 900 of
specie in the United States.
WTTHN a twelve month the Mer-
chants of Boston expect to have q pay
ing steamship line of their own to Liv-
erpooL ~
3 WE are to have a new translation in
verse of YirgiPs "Eneid." from the
highly competent hand of MIR. VIM.
Morris.
Miss MAY READ is giving readings
out west. Her business manager is that
well known and popular individual,
"He who runs May Read
People who argue that fires in sleep
ing rooms are unhealthy generally
speak more freely on the subject in the
summer season.
WHEN a Comstocker man. wants to
| disparage another he says: When you
thoroughly prospect him you will find
no bonanza In him.
| A HUMOROUS apothecary in Boston
| exposes a. case of soap in his shop
window with the pertinent inscription
Cheaper than dirt .
WHEN q Florida Indian is likely to
die, his friends place him where an al
| ligator can take him III, and thus save
burial expenses.
THERE is but one proper way to part
your hair III the middle, young man:
I Purchase O crowbqr and hire somebody
to do it for you.
WHEN a Chicago man gets rich, he
writes to Eastern publishing houses and
tells them to send ''nalf ton of books
with gilt on"
FoNTENELLE thus daintily compH-
ments the sex when he compares wo-
| Il l. l.
point out the hours, and the former to
make us forget them"
FAR from the crushed flowers of glad
ness on the road of life sweet perfume
is waited over the present hour, as
marching armies often send out from
heaths the fragrance of the trampled
plants. -Richter.
! OLD Mrs. Smith left her patent churn
open to dismiss q book agent from
the door. The cat that was taken out
after an hours churning was not as
lively as when it jumped in.
''WHEN you see q man so partickler''
says Mrs Marrowfat, "as never to take
a glass Of water withoutlool6ing through
it for insecks, don't trust him-he's on
his way to a drunkard's grave. %
THAT Egyptian Khedive has spoiled
all the girls, says member of the
Home Guard they won't take up with
anything but navy officers and hickory
nut diamonds now.
PATENT to doctors after consultation:
slime the worst, gentlemen; am Igoing
to die?" Doctors: ''We are divided on
the question, sir; but there is MAORI
ty of one that you will live
SEVENTY thousand dollars have been
laid aside already, as the fruits of Miss
Kellogg's experiment in English opera,
and she does not intend to give'it away
to any man either.