Knoxville Whig and chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1875-1882, 1875-09-08
Nasty on Imitation.
From the Graphic.
CoNFEDRIT y ROADS,
wICH is IN THE STATE OF KENTUCKY.

The Corners hev red the speeches NV
Hopest Ole Bill Allen aud that other
plleless patriot, General Samwooel
Cary, u Ohio. on the momenchus sub
jeck of More Money, till they hev bin
worked up TO state of absloot madnis.
The Corners are jist the same ez all
! other impeecoonius people-they want
! More Money, and the idee NV Honest
! Ole Bin Allen, that, to git it, all 700
he'd to do wuz to ishoo it, filed our
| idees of finanse eggsackly. 1t is simple.
etlectooal and esily understood.
/ determined to put the idee into
! practice, and to that end seiested to
| my friends the organiza-hen uva bank
nv ishoo, under the name aud tile NV
The Unlimited Trust and Confidence
| Company NV Cunf-drit Y Roads"
l he'd some trouble to git the citizens
into it, but finely succeeded. | ex-
planned to the people thet more money
wood be an advantage to the debtor
class, witch, "a nine tenths NV them
wuz in debt to Bascom, settled them.
They hailed with joy any movement
tnat wood wipe out their scores and
give EN- new credit at his bar.
To Bascom and them ez | intended
to hev in the management | showed
''"n hioip lhputy hituul Increased
trade, aud eZ the money wood all be
ishood on our credit, it woodeut cost
anything but the printing we coodent
lose anything. So the bank wuz start~
ed. wus made President; Issaker
Gavitt, Cashier Bascom, Vice Presi>
dent, with q Board of Directors con.
sisting of Kernal McPelter and the
venerable Deekin Pogrem. We put
the Deekin on becOZ he is bald headed,
and, therefore, respectable. His biz
ness Is to sit in the front window,
reedin an inflashin paper. 1t inspires
confidence. Hoo hev to watch him to
keep him from hevin the paper upside
down, but in this community that
don matter, ez very few know the
difference more'n he does.
1t was forchnit that our bankin-
room was located immejitly under the
prlntin-oflis, ez we kin let the printed
notes witch we ishoo down to the Pres.
idents desk 10y rope. 1t saves labor, !
wich is great pint in II institooshen
like ours.
The theory on witch our paper is |
lshood Is very simple. The company |
ishoo 1t and the people take it. We |
hev no time fixed for redempshun, for |
the beauty Of the biznis is that we
don't never intend to redeem. Our |
notes reeds:
The Unlimited Trust and Conf
dence Company of Confedrit Y Roads |
(Which is in the State of Kentucky |
promises to pay the bearer One Dol |
lar.n
We don't say when, where or how,
and therein is the strength Nv the en-
terprise.
Our first ishoo was received with
some hesitation.
Where is our secoority ~ demand-
ed one farmer to whom we offered it in
payment of laod NV wheat.
" Faith in the company !" | ansered,
Iookin at him pityfully. "Gaze onto
That face" resoOmed, pintin to Dee
kin Pogram, who ruther spilled the eff
'eck by brushin of fly that he'd lifted
IN his nose; look at that face and
hen ask for secoority."
When is it to be redeemed >" askt
" 1t never wants to be redeemed
VaZ my answer 1--WE shell be libral,
ma when note wears out we will ,
1--WE you another. Wat do you want
redeem fur? Money ishood on faith
wants no redempshun. We buy yoor !
'rodoose with II, 700 yoose it to buy :
our goods, and so it goes round and .
ound in cirkle, dispensin blessns
wherever it lites. Ez long ez VOC take u
wat do 700 want NV anything else?
Another remarkt that IT. wuz his idee Z
hat paper money wuz all to be re- 4
eemed in gold. .
Gold" | promptly replied, ais I
layed out. Gold is merchandise. Our /
Democratic brethren in Ohio hey de- I
lded that money Is simply promises to q
ay, and that it don't matter on wat d
Material that is stampt-whether gold,
liver, iron, shells or copper. We shell e
ut ourn on paper, cos it's the cheap =
vt. We shell hev no extravaganza .
bout this bank.n q
Pollock, the Ilinoy disturber, in the ?
lost brootal manner, refoozed TO tech ID
:, and consekuntly his biznis suffered. II
me shoemaker from Ohio followed u
Dot, and undertook to argoO agin so y
luch money. He asserted the heresy q
nat addin to the volume Nv currency II
ldn't add nOthin to its power. Sed u
e: Is
will illustrate so the Corners will a
lmprehend. 700 take a gallon NV ~
'hisky and add to ii three gallons of T
alter. Well, you hev four gallons in h,
he bari, but there amt but one gallon T
v square drink in it, after all. >" h,
I ansered him by readin copious ex- m
AK from Cary's speeches, shown that n,
90 prosperity goes hand and hand Il
it'll plenty NV money.
They FINELY was convinst, and took w
lr money for their grain, tho we he'd di
pry them at the beginning twenty on
nts a bushel more for their wheat sa
ian other money wood hev got it for. lii
ut we didn't care, for we knew we in
'od make all Nv it we wanted. M
1t wus astonishin wat era Nv pros WI WI
'rity set in on the Corners to wunst. tn
oney became ez plenty ez black ber- all
IS, and everybody had their pockets We
II NV it. Land went up in valyoo we
0 per cent. in week, and the price Tt
: the necessaries NV life raised ekally, Of
lscom put up his new whisky from an
10 20 cents per drink, and SIGH wus Ia
Q run NV trade he he'd that his wife al
ID his Oldest son, Jefferson Davis Ii
ascom, both he'd to stand In the bar to de-
ait on customers. The bank bought ma
the wheat and other produkshus, TIL
d paid for 'em in its own money and ito
II II Il