davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
COAL AND LUMBER.

ppHE undersigned having leased 'be
: Saw Mill property belonging TO the
E.,.,e of the late Il. d. Shepherd, Jr.,
deceased. a, Shepherdslown. is prepared
TO do Saving on shor. notice, aud VIII
keep en- hsnd sgood assortment OF OAA'
WALNUT and POPLAR LUMBER.
] will also continue TO carry on my Coal
Yard a, the same place, and have now
on band q good supply OF CUMBEK'
LAND COAL. LUMP AND FINE,
md RUN OF THE NINE. which am
ready TO deliver anywhere in town on
.lorl notice. and al as low rates as II can
be boueh, any " here in this market.
solicit the patronage Of the public
and sn ready to fill promptly all orders
for anything in hi. line. Ca'h on de-
livery. l. /. CHAfLlNE'
Oct II ON
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
:DR.. WHITTIER,

MURE Catawba and Concord Wines
< fos Medical and Comusnion porpos-
60. in quart bottles. Al Is cents per bot
hs. These wines are from the Vine
Yards Of Marcus B Buck .. Front Roy.
81. Virgins, and arc absolutely pure. For
sale By -;-szssea H. NJ. Billings.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
PRICES DOWN J!
GOODS BOUGHT WITHIN THE
LAST FIVE DAYS AT
P A N &c ? R | 6 Els.
GREAT BARGAINS
AT THE
MERCHANT TAILORING
Establishment.

THE undersigned have just received from the
Eastern markets one Of the LARGEST,
CHEAPEST and BEST STOCKS OF GOODS
ever brought TO t1is market
The Stock consists in part OF superior french
end English Cloths Of aid colors, Casimeres and
Yes,lngs and other goods which they will sell oy
The yard or make up to order: They also IN
yite attention to their Stock Of
READY-MADE CLOTHING,
A FINE AND LARGE ASSORTMENT OF
FASHION ABLE HATS,
NOTIONS, and Shirts, Collars, Neck lies,
Suspepders, Handkerchiefs, &C., winch 'aeJ
will sell cheap for cash. - ~,
All Goods purchased elsewhere VIII DC ous
and manufactured 10 order at short notice ana
fl guaranteed.
Rs.ver Cloths $500 and up.
C.ss;me,es rs and up.
Ready made Goats 800 ana up
Good Cashmere Soi,s l2.O0 and up.
Goods msds up at low Prices' ana
fits guaranteed. Give ne call.
S. p. HUMRICKHOUSE,
JAS. S. RIGHTSTlNE.
Oct 81
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
DIR. D. W. JONES.
PHYSICIAN g. SURGEON,
MARTINSBURG. W. va.

MARTlNSbUhO,N va.
Consulting Office, No. 81 West King street.
n few doors from the Court House. Observe
the sign OH the side oil the door. Office hourt
from 10 A. NJ, TO ~ NJ, aud from TO Pm
and & to evening
The Doctors long and successful practice &C
Hagerstowu, Nd, and The past 6ve years at
Martinsburg, W. Va, and nearly four years at
the bedside. in The different Hospitals OF the
large cities enables him 10 give full saiisfae-
ton TO the afflicted, without the use Of that
deadly poison Mercury, and other powerful
n Inerals that annually sends thousands TO q
premature grave.
All Nervous Diseases speedily cured. Let
the weak and nervous bear in mind that when
they have symptoms indicating many other
diseases, IL originates principally frcn the
nerves.
SEMINAL WEAKNESS.
This dreadful scourgs Of suffering humanity
b, ought on IRON unnatural habits OF youth, %
learned from evil companions nj school or
While alone. Both sexes, old and young, are
guilty Of IL, and 1t is Fastening thousands TO
that bourne iTUm ~hence no traveller returds.
For all such Dr.. JosEs has discovered q never
failing treatment that " i'll soon bring about new
life and fully restore eDleebied manhood.
SYPHILIS.
This disease strikes with terror 10 the boldest
heart, where il Is soon discovered IN the roof
OF the mouth aud throat. with discoIoring
blvlcbes over the head aud body fast bslrayiDg
thu unhappy victim, death cudids the suffering.
Make an early application, and be cured
without any change Of diet or hindrsnce from
business or detection Of friends.
GRAVEL CURED
Without the dangerous medium Of an operation.
FEMALE COMPLAINTS
Never, form speedily cured.
Affection Of the h idneys AID Bladder, and
ell kinds OF Chrome Diseases, no matter how
long standing, speedily restored.
Or. JOINS eau be consulted by letter descrih-
ing symptoms. sss,snI how long standing. All
letters strictly confidential.
The completion Of The Cumberland VALLEY
Railroad to Mar,insburg, will make II convent
eni for patients from Mary land and Psnpsyl-
vania 10 call and consult with the Doctor.
DIR. JOKES will not visit patients except
where 'hsy are not able TO consult him OF he
onIce. Ills family practice at Msrtin,burG is
sufficient evidences Of his success. All letters
must be addressed 10
d. W. JONES, MD,
NAY 5o-iy Mariinsburg, W. Va.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
RE-OPENING
OF
BOOT & SHOE SHOP.

THE undersigned would respectfully
inform the public, tina he has re-
opened his BOOT AND SHOE SHOP
at his residence. on Duke Street. where
he is prepared to make 10 order all KINGS
Of Work. He hopes By strct attention
10 business. by usisg none but the best
material. and working al the lowest price
10 merit a share OF public patronage.
Good Fits and Good Work warranted.
Repairing done promptly and Cheap.
Country Produce taken in exchange Tor
Work. HENRY CHENEY.
Oct. 3, 1874. u
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
,,,sroe. a.y. HARRISON. JOHN H. zirrLE'
r EAL Els IA L Il
AGENTS.

THE undersigned will attend to the Real Is
,a,s Rn,ipess IN ALL ITS BRANCHES.
win buy and sell Lands in Jefferson and elner
,onnt;s: on commission. Persons having
land or Town Property to sell, will consult
their interest BY placing them in our hands at
m onoa 9or advertisement. NO SALE, NO
pay pay An business pertaining to lands stten-
ded to. Titles examined and taxes paid when
requested. ,.;, o,r hand.
have the superior advantage Of tho succession ss
experience of J.H. Bristor, Of Msrtinsourg,
whose facilities for advertising 10 the Nor'h
are equal to One Thousand newspapers. :.
as Office at Jefferson Savings bank' I'LL
Sbenherdstown. Address
BRISTOR, HARRISON & little,
Shepherdstown, W. va
Jan 81
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30

THE undersigned always Keeps on hand sDd
i Tor sale, every description Of
COOKING STOVES,
Tor either wood or coal, togsther With q gensr.
al assortment Of Hesting Stoves, Psrlor Stoves
Ranges, Furnaces, Crates, Re-, &C.,
HOUSE FURNISHING GOODS
in great variety such % Tin, Copper and
Sheet Iron Ware, Block Tin and Japsnned
Ware, Fiat Irons, Coffee Mills, Timed Ssues
Pans, Preserving Kettles, Baking Pans, Spoons
Forks, Lamps, Walters, Buckets, Tin Cups.
&C., kc. Particular attention wall be given 10
TIN ROOFING AND sPOUTING
which will be done 10 the best and most dura-
bic manner, in town or country, at the short
est Lotics. REPAIRING viii also be done
at short notice add 10 the best manner. Gu.
CUMBER PUMPS, the bed 10 use, will be
put in, al Iow rates. He will sIss give stten-
lion TO putting up
LIGHTNING RODS,
and repairing the same. when called upon.
From my long experiences 10 the business %
. Practical Timer. and determined 10 cork
none but the best msteFial, and close stfso-
lion 10 businsss, snd . strict desire "a. please,
hope 10 receive liberal share Of patronage.
NY prices viii be lower than any other es-
tablisbment in the county Give ne call
and you viii certainly be pleased.
N. B.-Copper, Brass snd Lead will be to-
zen in exchange for work sod all kinds Of
Ware MARTEN.
Shspberdstovu, June 6. 1874. ~
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30

DRUGS IND MEDICINES.
4 FULL supply Of Drugs and Medi.
a cines, Ps'en, Medicines, Notions,
Lamp, Chimneys, Coal Oil, &c. a,
DIR. MAGRUDERS
march Drug Store.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30

IlIClLY Lemon Sugsr. at
u H. NJ. Billings Drug Store.
QEALING Wax, for Fruit Cans, at
y II. NJ. Billings Drug Store.
y II. M. Billings.
EGYPTIAN Hair Coloring. a.
~ Billings Drug Store.
UALAD Oil in bottles. al
y Billings Drug Store.
nCHENCK'S Pnlnonic Candy, Syr.
y up, Tonic and Pills. at
II. NJ. Billings Drug Store.
V17ILBER'S Cod Liver OIL and Phos
III plate Of Lime. al
II. NJ. Billings Drug Store.
TINTED Envelopes. al The 90. at
/ Ii. NJ. Billings Drug Store.
DNTLER'S Sure Cure for Cholera
IL Morbus, Cholic. Diarrh@i and Dqs'
EMERY, at
II. VI. Billings Drug Store.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
LIGHTNING RODS,


szAsssst - ASKS sssss - Psssz4ss - sgnes -
- - rs: =. - e: 49, 800 r -. - -
0Oxy1A1 o1gA1aOs
syyhn. esssutss esssk epsrsstssssA s.ss'ss
-. h. - yusss &C., ssssa1ex1 sas>s
-, t.. &c. -: :.s!zs :a 80:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
II. B. wEILAND. p. y. HYDE
WEILAND & HYDE,
Dealers in
Watches, Clocks, Jewelry,

Silver and Plated Ware,
Fancy Goods, &c.
FIRST.CLASS REPAIRING & EN-
CRAVING DONE TO ORDER.
Gold and Siiper Plating done TO Order.
Next Door to the POstOffice,
MARTINSBURG, w. VA.
August 8. 1874. iy
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30

DlCTURE Cord, Nails, Tsssels,
[ Screen Eyes. at Barnharfs
n LARGE assortment Of Photo Frames
Kat Barnharfs.
DEAUTlFUL Chromos, ready framed,
Dat Barnharfs.
FAD Pencils, Rubbers. Pens. Pen.
"A holders, at Barnharfs.
NLACK, Carmine and Violet Inks. at
ID Barnharfs.
DOCKET Books. Time Books. Mem.
orsndss, al Barnharfs.
TUST Received Spring Samples Of
y Wall Paper. at the Bookstore.
DICTURE Frames put up 10 order, al
4 the Bookstore.
PRESCRIPTIONS pu, up at all hours
K a, DR.. Magruder', Drug Store.
JITHITE-WASH Brushes. al sizes
" irom 35ess TO 81 Is. Cor sale at
Or. Msgruder's Dug Store.
IF your clock wants repsiring, take i.
TO J. s. Flaming.
OVER Costs and Lindsey Suite, just
Ureceived at L. Licklider's Cheap Store.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30

DLACK end 0ssss Tss. for ssIs o.
ID D.. Asgruds''s Dssg s'ose'
NAILd, $3.50 per beg, y
IN r. Sbsles's.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30

r HAVE returned from the Eastern
i markets with the fines, Stock OF Goods
in my line OF business, that has ever been
in Shepherdssown. ] had made to or
der 10 The city all numbers OF extra sizes
Boots, Nos. s 10 ID. and Lady's Shoes
from Nos. 8 to 9. ! can furnish all
kinds tina, are wanted, such as Mea's
Boots, Boys Boots, Lady's Fine and
Coarse Shoes. Mems Shoes. Boys
Shoes, Cbildren's Shoes. Misses Shoes,
and Motions Of every description.
Tobacco and Cigars. Pipes. &c.
Large quantity Of bultoned Callers.
Csrpe, Sacks and Gloves Of every de-
scrip,ion.
Hosiery Of every description.
BUSHES for the Ladies, Umbrellas.
Knitting Cotton, Paper Collars and Neck
Ties.
Corseis for the Ladies.
Overhalls and Shirts.
Spool Cotton and Thread Of all kinds,
and a thousand other articles mol men,
TONED.
Thankful for the patronage heretofore
extended 10 me, invite liberal share
in The future.
VIVA, you don. see. ask fnr-a' Head
Quarters of The Shenandoah Valley Rail
road S,ore.-on reasonable terms. GALL
a, one door North of The Register Office.
|. W. CHAPLlNE.
Oct, "a
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
NOTICE
F-A II Nj e II S !!

WAVING rented The Weverton Flour.
* ing Mil, Weyer,on. Washington
county, Md. we are prepared to pay The
bighes, CASH price for Wheat. X. A.
Alexander, of The firm, will be a, Dul.
fields from Q TO 2 clock, and al Shep.
herdslown from 3 10 each Saturday, for
the purpose Of buying wheat. X. A.
Alexander has no, retired from The lnsur-
ance business. Parties will receive
prompt and timely notice of the expira.
lion of their policies, when premiums are
due. &c. He hopes by fair and honest
dealing and promp, attention not only TO
retain his old patrons. but greatly to ex-
tend The business.
WASHINGTON & ALEXANDER.
COOPERS WANTED.
yll LII give regular employ men' TO SIX
III COOPERS. Apply a, once to
w. & A.,
Weverton.
Aug. is. 1874. If
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
BoOT SHOE SHOP
IN SREPHERDSTOWN.

WAVING severed my connection win
* the firm doing business under 'he
name of McChsn g. Yoniz, intend car
wing on BOOTAND SHOE MAKING.
I have rented shop on Main Street. two
doors Ess, of Shows Confectionery,
where will be pleased 10 see all who
will favor me with their work.
Hope by siric, attention TO business
and good work to please all.
~ Repairing done promptly.
GEO. W. YONTZ.
April IL. 1874. IT
4 NICE 10, OF 10 ksro, Gold Rings, at
n H. M. Billings.
TETJEWELRY, a large variety just
y received, at
HIM. Billings Drug Store.
uAND Sspolio and sspolio for clean
IL ing Tin Ware. at
H. M. Billings Drug Store.
r LARGE supply Of Fishing Tackle,
II just received q,
H. M. Billings Drug Store.
DON'T fail 10 try Cosmolins for The
II Hair at H. M. Billings Drug Store.
uORREST'S Juniper Tar. at
x Billings Drug Store.
2pISSUE Paper. different colors. at e.
I II. NJ. Billings Drug Store.
WASHING Crystal. at
w X. NJ. Billings Drug Store.
YET Ear Rings. Bress, Pins and Brace
y lels, in erea. variety, at
H. NJ. Billings Drug Store.
NENTAUR Linimen!. white and yell
v low wrapper, Tor man or beast. at
H. M. Billings Drug Store.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
BOOT AND SHOE SHOP
AT KERNEYSVILLE.

THE undersigned would inform bis
/ friends and The public generally. tina.
be has opened shop a. the above named
place, and will manufacture 10 order
Boots, Shoes, CATERS, &c. Special at
ien,ion given 10 STITCHED BOOTS
AND LADIES' WORK. None bu. The
bes, material used, end all work gusran-
ieed. Repairing neatly done. and a.
moderate rates. Orders filled promptly.
NJ. B. MILLER.
June 6. 1874. ly
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
A BOOK FOR THE MILLION.

A FULL line Of Handsome Coffin
II Trimmings. BY E. Sbsfsr.
A PRIME loi Glover Seed. for sale BY
II e. Sbsfer.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30

OFFICE
26 Monroe St., next door to LIST N. Bank.
OFFICERS:
George X. Wheat, President.
James McCluney, Vice-President.
John Bishop, Secretary.
C Ii. Collier, Assistant Secretary
DIRECTORS:
John E Wilson, W. 7. Singleton,
A. Laughlin, A. c. Quarter,
Geo. K. Wheat, James McCluDey,
Morgan l.. OF, George Adams.
John A. Armstrong.
REFERENCES
S. Brady, Cashier, Mer. Nat Bank. Wheeling.
List, Morrison s. Co.. Wholesale Grocers, g
Pryor, Handan Co.,
Michael Reilly, "
Mcclellan s. Knox, Boot s Shoe House g
McCabe, Bushfeld & Kraft, Druggists, %
G. W. Franzheim s. Co., Liquor Dealers, g
Winship, Woods & Co., Queensware,
Lewis Baker, Pub. Register, "
T. C. McAfee, Notions.
Frew, Hagans Hall, Pub. Intelligencer, g
OFT, Son s. Co., Hardware,
J. +. Sands, Cashier, lst Nat. Bank Fairmcnt.
r. p. Camden, Pr. N. Elk. Blk Weston, w. Va.
Capt. john Mcclure, Jr., Wheeling, w. Va.
" A Prompt, Equitable and Liberal
Treatment of Losses will characterize this Or
ganization 81
o. B. F. HARRISON. Shepherds
town, Agent for Jefferson County.
March ly
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30

lue uboefsIEneu vOVio
~ respectfully call the attention
Of bis Friends and the Pub
lie generally TO bis Stoc b o
FALL AND WINTER GOODS.
which. having been bought on the most
favorable terms. will be sold low for Cash
or Country Produce. My stock enbfs-
DRY GOODS,
Ladies Dress Goods of every
Description.
Genhemen's Furnishing
GOODS,
Groceries, Queenswsrs. Hard vac, No.
tons 81 every description. Hats, Csps,
Boou. Shoes. Books snd S,siiosery, ssd
in fact everything usually kept 10 Com.
try Store. Please call and examine he
Stock. Motto. "Quiek s..ss spd smsll
Profits" u. A. HILL.
Van Cleavesville, New. Fl n
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-01-30
GREAT BARGAINS /!
NEW GOODS
VAN GAINESVILLE.
CHEAPER THAN EVERl

The undersigned would
respectfully call The attention
Of bis Friends and the Pub
lie generaIlv 10 hia Stoc X o
The Van Buren press., 1875-09-21
' an Buren
Cotton Yarn Mills.
COT On SssnssgsIC.
YOGI co-cfne

= WISE Wills are now in successful op.r
l alton, With a eapaeity for turning on
Eighteen Hundred pounds of Yarn a week
making strong and even thread. witch
nor surpassed in quality by any brou.S on!
cntto rodnaI ~ Z; n9Is } 4Is a ...@ss week
tident that our Yarns will give satisiad int
every respect. We are now II
The Van Buren press., 1875-09-21

My dear, this sauce is staving. Wher.
did you buy it
/ | made it, said his wife, eoolly.
Oh, well, it is all the same in German
Nellie dropped her knife and fork
You must give me some money for the
butcher, tomorrow, said Mrs. Lowell.
You will have to spell ability, first
growled the doctor, savagely.
Then. suddenly taking out his hand
kerchief. he gave his nose tremendous
blow. There, said he, how is that, for
high
| know how it is, myself, meekly re.
piled the wife. That capped the climax.
The knowledge that her father must have
heard the afternoon conversation, was
too much for Nellie, and bursting into
tears, she left the room.
The sage doctor nodded wisely to his
wife, and when the daughter had got out
Of hearing, exclaimed There, wife, |
guess we shall hear no more slang phra-
ses from her.
The next day the good Doctor callei
Nellie into his study, and said to her:
My dear girl, don't you see how very
foolish all these phrases are They mean
nothing, but are exceedingly injurious to
those who use them BY ever SO sparing
a use, ones speech gets SO corrupted that
a person eften make. use of one of these
expressions at times which afterward he
would be sorry to remember. They
sound very silly to a listener. and often
the very usage Of them leads to some
thing worse, 1t is bad enough to hear
boys use them sometimes, but girl is
expected to be too refined and lady like
to sully her lips by such expressions
The use Of them is simply bad habit
but bad habits, like cuts in the bark of a
tree, grow and widen with age, and if
they once get firm hold, are hard to get
rid of. Then there is great deal in
companionship. If We keep company,
and are intimate with those who use bad
language, we are apt to make use Of 1t,
ourselves Persons are known by the
company they keep When you see
person using these slang phrases, you
may be sure such a person knows not
what is called good society. Such ex-
pressions as by gorry, or by dam, are
not only foolish, but wicked. For do
not the scriptures say, swear not ut all
neither by heaven, nor by the earth; bat
let your communication be yea, yea, nay,
nay, for whatsoever is more than these
cometh Of evil. There, my daughter, we
have made quite sermon, said the Doc
toi, let us have no more slang phrases.
The Van Buren press., 1875-09-21

ES- A good cure for liberated sore
throat is to dissolve small teaspoonful
OF chlorste of potash in a tumblrr of
water then occasionally take table.
spoonful Of the solution so as to garole
the throat itis nearly tastele.s, aud not
at all offensive to take, and is hence well
adapted for children Nothing is better
than this for ehapped or cracked hands
Wash them in the weak solution. and they
will soon be we'll Il is also good for a
rough. pimply or chapped face 1t may
be had at anv druggists Common salt
has been recommended for the incipent
stages Of the dreaded disease, diptheria,
but we have no doubt this would be bet
ter
The Van Buren press., 1875-09-21
LITTLE ROCK
COMMERCIAL COLLEGE.,
The Most Complete, Thorough and
Practical Institution in the
Country.
Located in Martins Block. Corner
ofThird and Main Sts., Little
Rock, Arkansas.

'JHllS Institution offers superior facilities
l. for preparing young a"d middle aged
men and women for the counting room and
for the management Of business and financial
affairs.
The full Commercial course as presented in
the Preparatory. Theory. Actual. Business
and Banking Departments OF the College. en-
braces critical instruction to those who may
require 1T, in Reading. Spelling and Arithme-
tlo Beck keeping. by Single and Double En-
Try as applied to business pursuits of every
description. Business Penmenship, CONNER
eial Calculations, Mercantile Correspondences.
Detection OF Counterfeit Money. Lectures on
the Science of Accounts. Business Activities
Organizations Economies, Business Forms
business Customs and Etiqucttes Commercial
Law, Finance and the General Laws of Trade
TERMS:
(Pagubie in adudnce)
Life Scholarship, full Commercial
Course. S5D oo
Fun Course in Telcgraphing. by
sound and paper, 40 90
Special Discounts aciU be made to Clubs
and DeSeresag Parties
Usual time required to complete the Full
Commercial toHrse-from 10 10 IL weeks
students can enter the College at anv time
as there are no vacations
BE sure to visit or address this College be.
fore going elsewhere.
AARON BALES. Prineipal.
yTnJ 2S-ly
The Van Buren press., 1875-09-21
How to Deal Proftably in Bologna

The other day about noon, young
man, left in charge OF one of the law Of
ices on Grant Street, thought he would
go down Diamond Alley and invest one
of his hard earned five cent pieces in
free lunch He had just got his hat on
his head snd his foot on the threshold of
til, office door. when an individual, with
Il basket GA his arm, entered the sanetum
of law.
Do you want any sausage to day ?
he asked of the law student, taking the
lid off his basket and displaying about q
dozen large bologna sausages
i dunno, said the clerk in hesitat-
ing manner; 'how much ?
Only ten cents apiece, an cheap at the
price, replied the sausage yender, taking
one out
The clerk thought this would save him
n trip down town, so he decided to pur.
chase. Accordingly he took one of the
largest sausages in the basket and hand
ed the man the required sum--ten cents
and was about to cut it in two when
the peddler asked:
You haven't seen any mad dogs this
season, have you, mister?'
There was something SO evidently sug-
gestivc in this that the young man laid
down the untasted bologna.
No, haven't Why?
We'll, l just thought as how this was
dog days, that you might have seen one
Shot. If so, l would like to hold an in
quest on the corpus But as you hain't t
seen any, it's all right and he started
for the door. But as the clerk again
picked up the sausage, he ventured !:
Them there sausages are all fresh, he
said /" iist made this morning
THE clerk took bite
" There was cat fight on our roof
last night, an the way them critters
hoNFled was caution. But l ups and
glts my old shotgun, and blast me if
didn't kill thirteen of them "
(Ihe clerk PIT down his bologna
And what did You do with their bod
iesT he asked, sicky smile stealing
over his paiiid features
Now, see here, Mister, when | tell
you story YOU shouldn't ask any ques-
tions. But them there eats amt on our
roof now, you bet
A thought seemed to strike the clerk.
'Ysu killed thirteen cats last night.
you say ? he asked
Yes, Mister, that's jist what l said,
and jist what aid.
And these sausages were manufac
tured this morningr
A horrid smile spread over the sausage
mans face.
Again your humble servant says yes,
he answered.
One more question, continued the in
terested young man Are these sau
sages made out of cats 2
That's leading question, Mister,
which this court won't answer But If
yon feel like chewing up few rats after
you get the bologna down, it ant my
fault : and he started to 60.
Here, my man, said the horrified
clerk guess don't want any sau
sages TO lay. Never mind the money
| Begoner
The bologna man went out of the
door, saying to himself: 'That's the
fourth time I've sold that bologna to-
| day, which makes forty cents clear IL
keep on this way I'll soon get rich
Good day, Mister, Ill call to morrow ;
and the inkstand just missed his head as
he closed tile door - Pittsburgh Leader.