The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1875-12-29
SluItum I'm ParvO.

Jasen Welch, of Iowa, got mad and
stopped his newspaper, and then because
the withdrawal of his patronage didn't kill
the paper he went and killed himself.
The new Italian minister rejoices in the
title of Count, and is to be known as
Count Blanc, wherefore Miss Grundy
asks us if his equipage may not with pro-
priety be called carte blanche
We always record with regret any in
stance of mans striking his sister-in-law.
1t is a cruel intimation to his wife's moth
er that he'll never marry in that family
again. Brooklyn Argus.
An Englishman is trying to find out
you know, why the double bass viol play
err of an orchestra is always baldheaded.
Perhaps it is because the leading violin
takes the air.-N.C. Republican.
An Albanian, who lost a hat on
James BuchanaH's election, paid the wa
ger last week. The returns must have
come in very slowly in Alabama.-Nor-
ristown Herald.
Father Tmhoff, of Richmond, Ind, has
Just lived out his hundredth year. 1t is
hoped, by his friends, he will live topack
his carpep-bag next year, and say to the
public: ImhOff for the Centennial"
A few daysago a Norwich man bought
a chest Of tea In Providence, and on open
ing found a stone inside weighing nearly
eleven pounds. He remarked that the
weighs Of Providence are very mysteri-
ous.-Norwich Bulletin.
A young lady in Minnesota boasts of
having ten grown up brothers to watch
over her; but a NOrristown girl prefers to
have only one brother to watch oyer her
provided he is the brother Of some other
girl -NorristOw Herald.
A iailor in Western State had receiv-
ed strict orders not to keep his prisoners
in solitary confinement. Once when he
had two in charge one escaped, and he
was obliged to kick the other out of the
door to comply with the regulation.
Danbury has the champion patient boy.
He went to a neighbours house for cup
of sour milk. al haven't anything but
sweet milk" said the woman petlishly.
" I'll wait till it sours," said the obliging
youth, sinking into chair.
Nothing is 50 discouraging to a young
lawyer just as he wakes eloquent about
angels tears, weeping willows and tomb
stones, as to be interrupted by the cold
blOoded Justice with 90 You're off your
nest, bub; this is case of hOg-stealing."
An exchange says '' the Sandwich ISL
anders believe that Beelzebub walks the
earth in the form Of woman" And now
and then sou viii find man in this coun-
try who believes so, too, and that he has
married the woman.-Courier-Journal.
A Chicago chemist, owing to the nom
payment of his fee, refuses to return the
stomach of a dead man sent to him for
analysis. Although the chemist has now
two stomachs. he doesn't appear to have
bOwels-of compassion. - Norristown
Herald.
Henry Ward Beecher was introduced
to Shaker at the White Mountains the
other day, and said to him: 81 under
stand your belief deprives you of some
hAO fAS~SAACS VI tAAAs Hles MnereupOn
the other replied, at shields us from
some of its temptations, Also
A Frenchman learning the English
language complained of the irregularity
of the verb " to 60" the present tense
which some wag had written out for him
rs follows: go; thou startest; he de-
parts, we make tracks; you cut sticks
they absquatulats or skeddadle."
The Chicago Tribune says that g Dan
iel OConnell was proud of his power of
giving lick with the rough side of his
tongue. ItwOuld have been great re-
lief to the young men in the post Office if
Mr.. 0Connelfs services could have been
secured for the stamp department.-Nor-
wich Bulletin.
A little girl went into a neighbOr's
house one day, where some apple-parings
lay on a plate on the table. After sitting
n while she said, 81 smell apples
YES" the lady replied, 81 guess You
smell these apple parings on the plate.
mo, no, said she, "tain't them / smell;
l smell whole apples