Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-09-01

currency Rather an amusing and
interesting occurrence has trans
pired during his visit which has
not yet found It's way into the local
prints On the morning after bis
great infatiOn speech Mr.. Kelley
felt athirst and walking down into
the bar of the fremont House
babe the attendant barkeeper mix
him whisky cocktail. While the
barkeeper was compromising the
liquor, syrup, bitters, ice and water
in due proportions he remarked:
you're Senator Kelley, amt
you r 81 am, but don't be afraid
young man, don't be afraid affa-
bly, replied the great statesman.
Il thought you was" said the ar
list in liquors; IL hear you make
a bully speech last night up to
McCormick's Hall. Was that all
true that you told Us about them
bonds and more greenbacks, and
the other shenanigan, chi" "True -
said the apostle Of imitation, "ot
course il was true. l am a man OF
principle" "Keerect," replied the
barkeeper, as he poured the CON-
pleted cocktail in an amber arch
into the glass and filed a tumbler
Of water.
Mr.. Kelley tasted the beverage.
"See here, Johnny" be said, "that
cocktail doesn't rise and take me
by the throat so much as it should /;
want il to be all TO me that the
name implies. Just make il strong
er and give it to me in larger glass
viii your
The barkeeper promptly trans
ferred the contents into a water
tumbler and added about twice the
quantity Of water.
Mr.. Kelley observed, somewhat
testify: "Hello hello! What are
you doing, eh / wanted bigger
drink, more of a cocktail, you
know"
The barkeeper smiled apologet-
ically, and, begging Mr.. Kelley's
pardon, emptied the diluted cock
tail into a weiss beer glass, which
he brimmed with water. There
was an ocean of fluid family tinged
with a pinkish amber, on the sur
face of which floated a shred Of
lemon peel. The barkseper push
ed the glass over to his customer,
and affably resting both hands on
the counter, asked him how that
suited him.
Mr.. Kelley first rubbed his eyes
and then pihched himself to be
sure that he was himself and
awake then lowered his spec
tacles and inspected the barkeeper
narrowly. "Young man." he said
at last in his most solemn tones.
"do you call that a cocktail
''Do / call that a cocktail r. he
replied pityingly; "what'n blazes
do you call it That's the best
cocktail the world ever saw
There's whisky in it, there's gum in
il, there's Angostora bitters in it,
there's lemon peel in it, there's wa
ter in it, there's ice in it, and don't
they make a cocktail Besides its
called cocktail, just the same as
\ dollar is Gale a dollar, and
ion't that make q cocktail You
IAN do anything with that cocktail
hat you can do with any other
you can drink it, you
AN pay for it; don't that make it
Is good as any other cocktail p
What do you take me for Haven't
read your speeches 2"
But" gasped Mr. Kelley grow
ng very red in the face, "there's
90 much water in it."
"Too much water !" o o:ned IL O
'lrbeeper. "Why, you must have
o much water in q cocktail, any,
ow mustn't youl You get yolr
vhisky like what your financial
harps call reserve, and then
on issue your cocktail on that
asis. You see, you have an elias
e cocktail that adapts itself to
ne want Of the customer. If he
e wants strong drink he don't
ant much water; if he wants a
ing drink III initiate his cocktail
ii its volumn equals his necessi-
es, l tell you I've studied up
ais here financial problem"
"But, but stammered Mr..
-elley. "there isn't a drop more