Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-06-16
Mark Twain the Victim of a Practi.
~ sTI Cal Joke.

|
ern Hotel, talking to future great
citizen about the old steamboat days
OF ot. Louis, when captains, clerks and
/ pilots ran the town and ran it under a
full head OF steam, an ancient mariner
let up on whiting the arm of the
next chair, turned towards us and re-
marked: You was speaking of the
old river days?' I'VE was,0 | re-
Piled. Perhaps, now, you have been
reading some OF Sam Clemens yarns?'
l held up copy of the Atlantic,
opened at Mark Twain's article, which
had really brought about the conver-
satlon. Yes, thought 50; well. he
-don't cell all he knows, said the social
/ riverman, reaching over for tabaoco
pouch, which gentleman was Passing
TO Trend. There's one little affair
ne amt worked into print yet, and it
amt likely be will.
The social quit off on his reminis-
ence at this point and talked generally
about the pad outlook of the crops and
The universal disadvantage Of dryness.
seeing that nothing but gin and sugar
would start him anew, he was persuad-
ed In the convenient bar room, aud at
ter hosting IN thee fingers (heId YER
! tically), a hand full or crackers and
several chunks OF cheese, he proceed
ed with his anecdote, interruptlng
himself number of times to remark
to the barkeeper, '.the same pard.
Was 1rsr engineer OF the first
Alexander Scott when Sam Clemens
| (Mark Iwaln) was cub Ii her pilot
nouse. tie Was chIpper young chap
with legs no eigger'n a casting line
ano fuller of tricks than a mule colt.
lie worked OH jokes on everybody
aboard from the skipper down to the
ROSTERS ldarkey deck hands,, bat they
was al taken III good part, only | lay
oy Two or three TO pay back. About
the time Sam got the run OF the river
enough too staud alone at the wheel,
the Scott Went into the lower river
trade, carrying cotton from Memphis
to Orleans Perhaps, now, you never
see boat IN the cotton trade burn?
Well you may cover your cotton from
sem 70 stern with tarpauiius, and keep
oonkey-englne steamed up, but it a
spark VI nre touches cotton, enough to
Ill tooth, your boats a corpse It's
qusaSsn d gaa-powder to burn, and no
pisot can reach the lower deck from
tue texas III time TO save himself, let
alone his Saratoga. So, you. see
everybody IN that trade is on the
watch and an alarm of fire In a boat
loaded with cotton will turn a man s
BAR gray qulcker'n an alligator can
swaller nlsger. Sam, being a young
pilot and new to the cotton trade, was
told over and over again how the pro-
1esslon would lose promising cub if
ever fire broke out on the Scott, and
the boys got nervous.
My striker and me always managed
to be IN the lunch-room when sam
came off watch, and as he came in we
would talk about the number of cotton
boats that burnt In such year, aud
now such a cub would have made a
lightning pilot if he hadn't got burnt
up IN the cotton trade, and we always
noticed that Sans appetite failed him
after that, and instead of going to bed
he would go prowling around the low
deck and peering around the hatch
ways, smelling at every opening like
a pup that had lost its master. One
day when we backed out of Memphis
with a big cargo Of cotton, | complain
ed, in Sans hearing, that the mate
had loaded the boat too near the en-
glnes. Tie boy followed me into the
glne room, and, without seeming to
notice him, told my striker I would
do my level besr to keep that cotton
from catching fire, but that it was
slim chance with bales piled up right
before the furnace doors. Sam got
got whiter'n bulkhead, and went up
to the texas where he packed his Sar-
atoga ready for any business that
might come before the meeting.
When he went on which | posted the
second clerk to keep an eye on him.
He hid behind a smokestack and saw
Sam alone in the pilothouse, his hair
on end, his face like corpse's and
his eyes sticking out so far you could
have Knocked them off with a stick.
He danced around the pilothouse,
turned up his nose like he was smell
ling TOR polecat, pulled every bell,
turned the boats nose for tie bank
and yelled 'frep like Cherokee In
dian on the warpath. That yell
brought everybody .on deck. We had
big cargo of passengers, and the
women screeched, the men rushed for
cork pillows and the crew yanked the
doors Oft their hinges and rushed to
the guards, ready to go overheard at
the hrst moderation Of the weather.
The skipper had hardwork to make
the crazy passengers believe that there