, 1875-08-28
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

We rise IN glory as we sinh ~
Immodest words admit OF no de-
fence.
It has been named Ulysses Aiger-
non Sartoris.
Madam lie Vert is in Denver oi'y'
Colorado.
In Natal there are 1900 colonis's
and 100000 Cafres.
Babies are described as coupons at
tached TO the bonds of mstrlmony'
The Chinese are going to send 9,VVV
yards of mating TO the Centennial
A priest has been captured and car
ried off by eight brigands in Sicily
Miss Hulett, the lady lawyer OF
Chicago, is rapidly gaining good
practice.
The Berne postal convention has
been approved by the national assem-
bly, of France.
Jesse Pomeroy says he'd like to
live so that he could go around lee
turing next winter.
Six reaping machine accidents al
ready reported from Indiana. Cheer
up, fellow journalists.
Old Hundred is the name of new
North Carolina paper. 1t has ninety
nine years to fail in.
III. 7. Helmbold recently arrived
in Boston, from Liverpool. He has
been absent nearly four years.
Mrs. Sands is a great aGthoress and
a talented woman, and yet she couldn't
make bed to save her life.
They now make fans with a pocket
in the handle to hold a eucher deck.
There is, indeed, no limit to genius.
Bismarck wears calico night-caps
and loves sage tea, bat his brains are
in his head and he never makes a mis-
take.
A Philadelphia man made an ar
rest last week-actually made an ar,
rest but of course he arrested the
wrong man.
A man is l $50 times as large as a
common honey. bee, and yet it is use
less TO try to argue the matter with
the bee.
California is no place for you, my
friend, if you are a quaek doctor.
They use 'em there to make corduroy
roads with.
1t may be that an Italian invented
the wheelbarrow, but this is the coun-
try where the social standing of the
vehicle was first lifted up.
An Iowa woman gave her husband
morphine to cure him of chewing to-
bacco. 1t cured him, but she is doing
her own spring plOughing.
Somebody has calculated that three
million words were used by the par
ties in the Beecher Titon trial. And
yet they produced no sentence.
A California paper says: "The
milkmen of San Francisco have formed
a mutual aid association. One holds
the can aud the other pumps
The japanese are still progressing.
They have Nathan murders, jus: like
America, and their detectives work
Just like the New York detectives.
A fellow is going around ew York
State claiming to be Diogenes, the
philosopher, but landlords Of hotels
insist on his paying his bills in ad-
vance.
A Missourian, after looking over
the White House grounds, remarked
that everything was purity nice, but
he didn't see no place for hog-pen."
1t has just been ascertained that all
the mile posts in New York State are
set wrong, the distance having been
shortened so as to encourage travellers.
You can travel all day in New
Hampshire and not find any door
plates, but then, the kitchen floors are
as white as chalk and all the girls can
bake bread.
The members of the japanese troop
made about $4,000 apiece and went
home to strut around, talk big, and
put on style over those who haven't
travelled.
Lieutenant Governor Holt of Michi-
gan, who attempted to kiss another
mans wife, has gone TO Europe, but
he goes on the same salary that he
got before.
Treasurer New makes all his clerks
feel as if each day was their last in
office, and the way they attend to
business would make Lincoln turn
pale if he were alive.
The New York Tribune wants
new national air, and yet we'll bet a
hat that it hasn't man OF its staff,
that can sing: Ho Bob Ridley p'
half way through.
An Illinois farmer worth 800, 900
walked two miles the other day 10
borrow a pen holder and sheet of
paper Walking is cheap, and three
cents is three cents.
a CHICAGO woman, supposed by her
dress and aDDaaran IN no waalthv