The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1875-02-05
NEW NoR'-wEsTERs.

| The Changers trunp-Spades.
Analysis is the death of sentiment.
A clear ease-An empty dry goods box.
The stamp of civilization-The postage
stamp.
Teams now cross Lake Champlain on
the ice.
The Odd Fellows have forty-nine lodges
in Oregon.
Buffers mother designed him for the
Ministry. Da,-
-Birch-back cards are neatly printed for
calling or business purposes at Duluth.
Probably seventy-fve per cent, of the
wrecks at sea are from detective compass
ses.
Somebody says that King Coffee is
wreck. Somebody else says that all kings
are Rex.
=" Smothered Venus" is a California
dish; in spite of it's name it is only beef
steak and onions.
According to Hepworth Dixon, Bis
marck fought more than twenty duels while
in the University.
Mark Twain says the Sandwich Island
ers are generally as unlettered as the back
side of a tombstone.
Seven tons of locks and brass keys for
the Palace Hotel have been ordered Of
San Francisco locksmith, at cost of $20,-
0OO
Springfield appears to be q favorlte
name for Western towns. Pennsylvania
has nine by that name, Ohio ten and Iowa
eight.
Perhaps it was a California compositor
that made an editor say that a contempora-
ry stood Gin the front rank Of inferior
journals"
"A decree has been promulgated in Chi
ma granting an annuity of ten bushels of
rice to all disabled paupers over seventy
years old.
"A Covington man died and they put
him ON ice; but he awoke in the night and
yelled out, "why didn't you put some more
wood in that stove ?''
The last offender hanged at Carson
City died game, reminding the MOB that
George Washington would have been hang
ed if he had not succeeded.
The New York Graphic remarks of an
individual: ''He was of obscure but tasteful
parentage." That tasteful - is equal to
anything yet produced by the new .Graphtc
process.
The Denver Neaos says that man from |
El Paso county, Col, has gone down to old |
Mexico to purchase $1,000 sheep. Sheep
can be bought down in Chihuahua at less
than $3.50 per head. @
The Chicago Times says: "Just as
California was enjoying that bonanza, in
stepped Hammond, the revivalist, and now |
even Comstock shares cannot make life |
comfortable OF desirable.''
1t was printer who perpetrated this /
double-barreled, breech-loading, pun-co-
nundrum: Why is an old mans farm i'll |
Texas like the focus Of a sun-glass? Be- |
cause it is a place where the SUMS rays |
meet.
They have new test for intoxication |
in Canada. When a man can pronounce |
reciprocity" without tripping, the police
let him go. In Maine the test is Erastus
Richardson, and "rassus risson - is deemed |
conclusive.
Bret Harte has been appointed to
So, 900 position in the Custom House. He |
writes a beautiful hand, and if his accounts |
rhyme as well as his poetry, Ulysses will be
sure to pat him OH his twenty-four inch |
head.
The Hon. James L. Pugh and General |
John T. Morgan are prominently IN entioned |
for election to the United States Senate |
from Alabama, as successor to Senator |
Goldthwaite, whose probable resignation
ON account of i'll health is reported
The young Emperor of China has toy
engine which is driven by real steam on q
track in his sacred garden. But the Impe-
rial engineers, after critical investigation
have decided that railroads for public trans |
portation are too expensive and dangerous.
American shipping has almost disap- 4
pearsd from the ocean. OF the five thous-
and two hundred and fifty-five steamers
that plow the sea, only one line of Ameri-
can steamers ply between England and this
country, and not a sin gle one between New
York and Tiverpool
-ss Now then, said . physician, cheerf-
ly to a patient, "you have got along far
enough to indulge in a little animal food,
and 9 No you don't, Doctor, interrupt
ed the patient, ''I've suffered enough with
your Cruel and slops, and I'd starve sooner
than be fed OH hay and oats.''
Centuries ago, in the dim twilight of
civilization, Confucius founded "a school of
moral philosophy in China, and to-day his
teachings are admired by the lite rary lights
Of the world. This should give Importance
TO the fact that sixty of his disciples are
attending school in Hartford, Conn.
Carl Schurz, who is not eligible co the
Presidency, congratulated himself the other
evening, when Gen. Banks wished he could
vote for him by saying that it was well for the
nation that ir had some men in public life
who could not possibly be attacked by that
most yirulenCof all nalsd dss--tlls Presilen-
Iial fever.
-TheBston G5o6c's reported Kalakaua's |
Wis ite he patent N sdicine manufactory of
C1ery psctoral Aver says: Rather an
5nt cest4ns. episode occurred while the party
" IN the vigor department.. Mr. Aver
SAID to his majesty: Here is where you
can get yonr head rerlenished with hair If
it is naked. Kalakaua Immediately re-
torted: WHY do Won not nut same an