Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-07-30
NUMBER AZ.
MULTUM IN PARVO.

envy you
THE man of many words weaves net
for his own entrapment.
IT is charged that the Natural Bridge of
Virginia is falling down.
A CHICKEN at Chitenango, m. Y, cackles
over the possession of four legs and as
many wings.
So FAR this year there have been 1885,
600 tons less of coal mined and marketed
than in 1874.
LIGHTNING is said to have made deaf a
number of horses in stable in Lancaster,
Pa, one night lately.
PosTAL-CARDs are growing in favor ex-
cept with the individuals who find their
tailor's account written on the back side.
IT is a great comfort to bald-headed
men in these red. hot, star-spangled, centen-
NAL days TO reflect that the eagle, foo, is
bald-h headed Style is no hair.
THE volume of water in the Colorado
River equals that of Niagara, and the cur
rent in the great canon attains speed OF
from forty to fifty miles an hour.
A CONDUCTOR on the Erie Railroad was
presented with rosebud by his dying
sweetheart, and told that as long as he kept
it no accident would happen to him.
Two RAILROAD workmen in South Caro-
lima have invented a rear light for trains
which, by change of color, shows wheth-
er the train is moving or standing STILL
A WITTY Troy girl, having drank some
nauseous medicine by mistake, said to her
mother: 1t is said that one swallow
doesn't make a spring, but that swallow
made me spring SIX feet"
GREAT excitement prevails in Cayuga
County, N. Y, over the reported discovery
of vein of hard coal in the town of
Victory, and additional excavations and
explorations are to be made.
A KENTUCKY woman writes to the
Woma1a's Journal to say that " the dawn
of freedom for women here is begun" be-
cause many wives are demanding stated
incomes from their husbands"
A DOCTOR attending wit who was very
i'll apologized for being late one day by
saying that he had to stop to see a man
that had fallen down we'll Did he
kick the bucket, doctor?" inquired the
other.
AT Vincennes, France, recently, during
the marriage ceremony the brides teeth
fell out, which so frightened the bride
groom, a worthy tailor, that he made the
sign of the cross, rushed OIL like an arrow,
THE New York World, in poem on
plumber, depicts the hero's mildest act
thus:
Would" said he, as he drew the bill,
"My father were alive!
10 1b. of solder at 10c,
$175"
elbow did you like my sermon?" said a
vain clergyman to distinguished chance
listener. ''Ah, sir! there was one beauti-
full passage" :" Yes, yes" said the
dominic, delighted, rubbing his hands;
and which was that % "The passage
from the pulpit To the vestry."
THE Grand Jury having ignored bill
against him, Philip Loyeridge, con
ductor, has sued streetcar company in
Pittsburgh, Pa, for $50, 900 damages fol
accusing him of having on his person
bogus bell-punch, which he used in
canceling tickets in registering fare when
paid.
A MAINE man preserves the following
curious legal document: Hancock, IS.
Nov. 18th, 1909. Then personally APP
peared Ibrook Eddy, of Eddington, and ac-
knowledged himself guilty OF having
uttered two profane oaths on this day, and
has paid a fine for the. same as the law
directs to me. O. Leonard, Justice of
the Peace"
THE Twirler of the ST. Louis Republican
appeared at his place in the office the
other morning, his nose ornamented with
eli chit small strips of court-plaster, and
with decided indications of approaching
badness. After an hours struggle with
pencil and paper he evolved the follow
ing: eff Prof Tice will only devise some
method of foretelling domestic equinox,
Of
when to stay away from home, will rise
UP and call him blessed"
A RESIDENT of Detroit who has thrifty
cherry-tree in his yard borrowed stone
dog and placed the imposition at the foot
of the tree to scare away any bad boy who
might want feast of cherries after dark.
He was fattering himself that he had a
dead sure thing on the boys, when, the
other morning, he went out to find the
legs and tail broken off the image and the
body sticking in the ground and labeled:
"This 'ere dorg feels sick" 80 did the
citizen.-DetroSt Free Press.
APARIsrAN opera manager, desiring to
make q monogram of the initials of the
Gar of Russia, Napoleon III. and the
Empress Eugene, naturally enough took
the first letters of the names bywhich they
are best known. Brilliant gas-jets
formed the letters A. N. E. The Project
of Police spent two hours in pulling them
down. and the luckless manager was
fined 100 francs for making a mono
gram that spelled out the French word fol
donkey.
THE Charleston Courier mentions that
the Southern cotton mills continue steadily
at work, but have declared reduced diyi-
dends. and AYERS that "beyond the de-
preston of business, of which mention
has been made, the Northern mills are af-
fected more seriously than ever by South
ern competition They are being driven
out of the market by the Southern spin
ners of heavy goods, and the time is fast
approaching when they must close up or
come South"
AMERICANS who go to Paris on limited
time and with plenty of money are the
FRY on which French modistes fatten. Said
one to stylish Parisienne recently:
q Have you any objection to giving me
your modiste's addfess?" Mon Dleui
Mon Dieul'' cried the Parisienne, rolling
her eyes and struggling her shoulders, as
is the Parisienne wont, and what should
/ do theng You know we Frenchwomen
never go to modiste who works for
Americans. We cannot afford il"
THE New Haven Register is responsible
for the following: g man in neighbor-
ing town, who has thousand dollars IN
the Townsend Bank, was in store yes
terday, and, watching his opportunity,
whispered in the ear Of the dealer Is the
Townsend Savings Bank getting little
shalxy?' The merchant turned on him
with a look of dire establishment, and
asked: Where have you been the last year,
or don't you read the Newspapers The
M on renliad that he tdidn,t feel able to