Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1875-12-31
VARIETIES.

When a Chinese bank fails, all of the
officers have their heads cut off and flung
into a corner with the assets and 1t has
been 500 years since there was bank fail
ure in that country.
"A wee bit Of a boy having been slight
ly chastised by his mother, sat very quiet
ly in his chair for some minutes afterward,
no doubt thinking very profoundly. At
last he spoke out thus: "Muzzer, 1 wish
dad would get anuzzer housekeeper-pve
got tired o. seen' you round"
Many good Ieople are annoyed by
sleepiness in church. The following rem
edy is recommended: Lift the foot seven
inches from the floor, and hold it in sus-
pense without support for the limb, and re-
peat the remedy if the attack returns.
The grangers of Wisconsin have made
bankrupt their state agent at Winona, ]. s.
Denman, so many of them have failed 10
pay for the things they have bought, and
now must buy of the regular dealers and
pay the high prices which the latter are
forced every where TO ask, TO cover their
losses by just such dead beats.
"A number of Icelandio colouists have
found a new home ON the shores of Lake
Winnipeg, in Canada, where they have
taken up a tract of 1000 miles, so miles
along the shore and 20 miles inland. Three
or four hundred are domiciled. and more
are expected.
AIRS. Henry" said John to his wife,
the other morning, "if you give me
Christmas present this year, please arrange
1t so that the bill won't come in till next
month. It's just as we'll to keep up the IL
lusion fora short time"
Montgomery Queen has purchased 100
African ostriches, and is about colopizing
them on his place near Haywoods, a small
town 15 miles from San Francisco. 1t Is
his intention TO raise ostriches solely for
their plumage, each bird yielding over $500
worth of feathers, yearly, and he has in.
vested 100000 in the enterprise.
Tennessee dogs cost their owners more
than four millions year, and yet Tennes-
see cannot keep up decent public schools.
In most of the counties the dogs outnum-
Der the men. In Hancock county there
are 92l men and 1867 dogs, while Giles
county has 4576 men and 1850 dogs.
Prof. A. C. Farnham Of Paola City,
Kan, superintendent of the public schools,
who lately died of hydrophobia, anliclpat-
ed his fate and met it with a stoical resig-
nation. When his symptoms became vio-
leat he went to bed, told his wife that he
feared he had hydrophobia, and had him
self tied securely to the bed. In the inter-
walls of his terrible spasms the professor
solved mathematical problems and convers-
ed with his family.
Readers OF Wilkie Collins novel of
"Poor Miss Finch" will be interested to
learn that there is an inmate of an asylum
in Wisconsin whose skin, although he is a
white man, is as black as a negros-the re-
suit OF dose of nitrate OF silver, which he
swallowed by accident; the acid coming
through the pores Of the skin was turned
black by The light of the sun, aud remains
so. He is crazy and subject TO fits, during
which he often falls and cuts himself. The
wounds heal up with new and very white
skin, thus leaving the white scars all over
his face and head, which look still whittier
on account of the blackness Of his skin.
One of the articles at the Massachusetts,
infant asylum fair in Boston is a book OF
autographs, elegantly bound, aud contain
ing, among other things, the following let
ter from Mark Twaln;-
. HARTFORD, October s, 1875.
Dear Madam: 1 beg TO wish the best
success and long career Of usefulness to
the infant asylum fair. But words are
empty deeds are what show the earnest
spirit. Therefore, am willing TO be one
of q thousand citizens who shall agree 70
contribute two or more OF their children to
this enterprise. do not make this offer In
order that / may appear gaudy or lavish in
the eyes Of the world, but only TO help Q
worthy cause to the best of my ability.
Very truly yours,
SAML. L. CLKMKNs.
MARK TWaln.)