The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1875-05-20
MIR. COFFINs'- sPELLING MATCH.


The other evening old Mr.. and Mrs.
Coffin, who live on Brush street, sat in
their cosy back parlor, he reading the
paper and she knitting, and the fami-
ly cat stretched out under the stove,
and sighed and felt sorry for cats not
SO well fixed. 1t was a happy, con-
tented household, and there was love
in his heart as Mr.. Coffin put down
his newspaper and remarked:
81 see that the whole country is be-
coming excited about spelling schools
"Wsll, it's good to know how to
SPELL" replied his wife. 81 didn't
have the chance some girls had, but
1 pride myself that 1 can spell almost
any word that comes along"
"I'll see about that" he laughed !;
"ceme, now, spell buggy"
"Humphl that's nothing-b-u-g-gy,
buggy" she replied,
"Missed the first time-ha! hal" he
roared, slapping his leg.
.sNot much-that was right"
st was. Ell? Well, I'd like to see
anybody get two g's in buggy, L
would"
"But it is spelled with two gs, and
any schoolboy will tell you se." she
persisted.
"Well, 1 know durn sight better
than that" he exclaimed, striking the
table with his fist.
"I dome care what you knowI" she
squeaked; "I know there are two g's
in buggy!"
"Do you mean to tell me that I've
forgotten how to SPELL" he asked.
cit looks that way"
sIt dses, eh! Well, want you and
all your relations to understand that
know more about spelling than the
whole cabsodle of you strung on a
wirep
"And 1 want yeu to understand,
Jonathan Ceffin, that you are an igno-
rant old blockhead, when you don't
put two g's in buggy-yes you are!"
"Don't talk that way to me-" he
warned.
"And don't shake your fist at mel"
she replied.
"Whs's shaking his fist?"
"You werep
"That's lie-an internal lie!"
"Don't call me liar. you old bazar
I've put up with your meanness Tor
forty years past, but don't call me a
liar, and don't lay hand on me!'
.Do you want divorce ?" he shout
ed, springing up; "you can have it
now, this minutei"
Don't spit in my face-don't do it, |
or I'll make dead man OF you'll" she
warned.
81 haven't spit in your freckled old
visage yet, but may if you provoke
me furtherp
"Who's got freckled face, you old
turkey buzzard ?"
That was a little too much. He
made motion as if he would strike
and she seized him by the neck-tie.
Then he reached out and grabbed her
right ear, and tried to lift her off her
feet, but she twisted up on the neck
tie until his tongue ran out.
'Let go of me, you old fiendi" she
'Get down ON your knees and beg
my pardon, you old wild cat!" he re-
piled. /.
They surged and swayed and strug-
yled, and the peaceful cat was struck
by the oyerturning table, and had her
back broken, while the clock fell
Down, and the pictures danced around.
The woman finally shut her hus-
bands supply of air off and Hoped ,
aim, and as she bumped his head up
and down on the floor and scattered
his gray hairs, she shouted:
"Yeu want to get mp another spell ,
ng school with me, don't you? ,
He was seen limping around the
1ard yesterday, stocking pinned
round his throat. and she had court =
plaster on her nose, and one finger a
led up. He wore the lock of
martyr, while she had the bearing of I
. victor, and from this time out T
buggy" will be spelled with two g's i
N that house.-DetroH Free Press, t