Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-03-25


! 81 don't care a cent for fashion
I've got to scratch my heir exclaimed
Detroit man as he pulled Of his boot in
slreet-car recently.
"Mr. Smiths compliments to Mr..
Brown, thinks it unnecessary that his
piggs should go through his grounds"
Answer" Mr.. Browns compliments to
Mr. Smith, thinks it equally unnecessary
to spell pigs with two gs."
An Indian came to certain agent in
the northern part OF Iowa to procure
some whisky for a younger warrior who
had been bitten by rattlesnake -Four
quarts!' repeated the agent. with sur
prise; las much as that?" Eyes" re-
piled the Indian, flour quarls-snakc
very big"
-(Mamma's birthday falls upon the
1lth. On the Is b she receives an inn
por ant communication from her Two
little grls.) First little girl--We've got
Il secret for you, but we shan't tell YOU
Second little girl-Not till your birth
day. First litle glri--And not then
neither, till we've bought it.
Aunt Hetty inquired of the servant
girl if she came from the Hungarian
paris Of Ireland. On being told that her
geographical knowledge was somewhat
defective, she excused herself by saying:
hain't much learnin; | never went to
school but one day, and that was in the
even,n', and we hadn't no candle, and
the master didn't come"
On Bates street, yesterday, lubber
of boy cutled small boys ears, and
the small boy drew y crowd by his
lamentations. "Never mind" said a
gentleman, as he patted the lad on the
head, you'll be big enough in three years
more to lick him" Il 'spose | WILL"
walled the boy, "but l dluther maui
him now while I'm alfred madp--De-
troH Free Press.
A bow backed old chap, pants in
boots, hair down to his shoulders, and u
sachel carried on the end OF cane,
called into restaurant yesterday, and
after looking over the bill of fare Sc
lccted an oys er stew. 1t was prepared
and placed before him. when he rose up
aud said: I" | ordered an oyster stew"
"Woll, there it isl replied the waiter.
" See here, young man." continued the
stranger, Pm willing to admit that I've
alus lived way back, and tuat never
ate an oyster stew; but dun't take me for
a fool, mister--dont think | can be
drawed in by some chalk .culored gravy
vita four or five bits of meat floating in
it" Chicago Tribune.
In Augusta, Me-, no provision was
made last winter for feeding and lodging
tramps. A vagabond went into police
STATEN and wanted to slee p there. 1--WE
only lodge prisoners" said the Sergeant
behind the desk. "You only lodge pris-
oners," repeated the vagabond, media
lively. That's ALL" was the reply;
"you have got to steal something, or AS
saut somebody, or something of that
kind" I've got to assault somebody,
or something Of that kind" again re-
peated the vagabond, thoughtiully. Then
he reached across the desk with his
right arm and knocked the Sergeant off
his stool, saying, rs the officer got up
with his hand 10 his eye: Give me as
good u bed as you kin, Sergeant, cause
| dont feel very well tonight"
"A newly-married couple from some
where down the Lansing road were rid
ing in Grand River Car yesterday, and
the groom insis ed on holding the brides
hand in his big, red paw. "Oh no,
don'tW she said, rs she jerktd her baud
away. "Oh! luv, let me hold yer h nd,
jest for ten minutes he pleaded. "Shoo!
don't you see they are looking Mt usy"
she whispered They are, chr he re-
piled, looking up and down the Car.
Well, now, I'm going to put my arm
right around We, and if any fellow in
this car dures to spit crooked I'll Kit up
n mop the floor with him till wear him
up to the shoulder bladesl" His arm en-
circled her, and the other passengers
looked as solemn rs il they were on
their way home from funeral. -Detro,t
E'ree P1eas