Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-03-11
vARI ETIES.


"A Lancaster lass set her three
lovers to playing a game of cards
to determine which should marry
her.
A Galveston damsel has sued q
young fellow for breaking her nose
while attempting to kiss her against
her will. s5{ sns76 20 boasaas iazgssat r g.
The man who, three years ago.
married q Newport Belle says The
begins to realize that thing of
beauty isa jawsforeser. 81 y
A Coyington man died and they
put him on ice but he awoke in
the night and yelled out, Why
didn't you put some more wood in
Anal stova y, ss Ss@ @Ss w.
The "convalescent dress of the
Duchess 81 Edinburgh cis of gray
velvet trimmed with white lace and
opening over blue ssaain alirt.
An Indianapolis woman has sued
for divorce because her husband
made her eat for her supper large
loaf of sour bread she had set be-
.foreshim. . hTooG 81 Bo48S
s'The least said the fewest men
Dead" is the way they put it in the
South.
"What can't be cured must be
sold fresh, !" is what they say in
Porkopolis. 'T15s>oo fftfiaT aeI
Its always darkest before done. :"
That's what the makers of molasses
candy say.
A newnmsical periodical has ap-
peared in London, with the title of
The First Fiddle. .sdsg - s5 80
a Western poet who had ex-I
pressed wish to die :" amid the
grand solitude of the eternal noun
tain tops" was killed by the ex-I
plosion of pint Of cheap kero-l
sene. -
"You are impressively beauti-
full was the remark of an Albany
youth to the young lady who left
the impress of her ten finger-nails
along his face for failing to take
her. to a concert as he had prom
ised. t4'.'T7
Women have great respect for
old age. Watch a young lady
seated in street car between o
young gentleman and an elderly
one, and see how determined she is
not to incommode the latter by.
crowding against him. ..amt.so
&c Make you coat, sir ?" said q
suspicious tailor to a suspected
customer, 8" o. yes, sir, with the
greatest pleasure. There, ust
stand in that position, please, and
look right upon that notice while 1
take your measure" Customer
reads the notice aTerms cash"
. An old lady in town has become
disguised with almanacs. She
says if all the people in this
country were to stop buying al
MANAGES, maybe the printers who
make EN- would put in some total
eclipses of the sun and moon, and
some transits of Venuses that
would be visible here. "'e,vsggwaxs
A fowl proceeding-A hen chasing
grasshopper. r,.,,s,va..r
b. A fowler proceeding-A sports
man chasing hen.
Recently the local paper at Gmss
Valley said: "The prettiest girl in
Grass Valley doesn't carry herself
straight enough when promenad-
ing" For week after all the
Grass Valley girls staiked about
like so many bean poles and ey-
cry girl'said, A. TAAsaliof6d paper
Ma, don't walk straight ?"
A recent number of the " Sunny
side" an Enslish paper, contains,
under the head of Wants." the
following: ga first-class teacher
for the Northan School, Lot ls-
A male teacher preferred one a
little ordinary, so that he may not
attract the attention of female
scholars" Those English people
are foolish. III 1rww an
Ny real number is six, but my
hand will bear squeezing" is what
she said to the young man at the
glove-oounter. And the great,
thick-headed lunatic got her q pail
"a. ~.A o1f x~,l Cur~r sSw.klos1t