The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-10-22
SAYINGS AND pOTNas.
AND the night shall he fllod with burglars
And thieves that infest the day
Shall pack up their traps like poddlcrH,
Aud carry the spoons away.

]
covered that il is fastened 20 the lower
surface of the glass.
To novels or palaces though We may
come. the wretched musquito with hor.
rible hum, will sure lie in ambush and
wait for us there, till sleep shuts our
eyelids. and then take his fare. Hum
Hum? Buzz! B-u-z-yi When sleep
shuts our eyelids he'll sure take his
fare.
NOTHING is so discouraging 20 n young
lawyer Just as b wakes eloquent about
angels tears, weeping willow and tomb
stones as 10 be interrupted by the cold
bloOded justiceIwith, you're off your
nest, bub; this is a case Of hog steal
ing"
THE Sultan Of Turkey spent S750,OOO
not long ago, on fireworks and illumina-
tions, the occasion being his birthday an
niversary. That j. the way he spends
his salary of $4,000, 900 in gold, and
has to borrow good deal more besides
for similar trihing expenses.
"VELL, YOU see my friendt goes into
peeziness init anudcr weller, und dot
oder weller vurnish der capital und |
vurnish der peezness experience una
| pretty soon, thrce-iour years, dot pee
illness is voundt oop, und ] got der capi-
tai undt dot oder weller got der eXpe~
rience,"
A SUNDAY teacher was giving a lesson
on Ruth. She wanted 10 bring out the
| kindness of Boaz i'm commanding the
| reapers TO drop large handfuls Of wheat.
" Now, children" she said, "Boaz did
another very nice thing for Ruth; can
you tell me what il was ~ " Married
/ herr said Que Of the boys.
A LITTLE Boston boy was sitting 10y
window, the other evening, looking at
the stars as they came out, one 10y one.
After gazing few minutes he cried,
"Oh papa, papa! Look at Gods finger
nail ~ He referred to the moon, which
was in the quarter and had just appeared
over the hill.
THERE was a French singer with n
tremendous voice, who could not dis
cover what line in art he was best lifted
for. He went To Chcruhini who told
him to sing. He sang, and the tounda-
tion tremblcd. "Well, he said, when
he had finished, "illustrious master,
what shall / becomeP An Auction
'er," said Cherubini
name of the facctiOus party who went
into dry goods store the other day, and
was observed TO he looking about when
the proprietor remarked 10 him that they
didn't keep whisky. ct would SlVc
you n good many steps if you did, was
the quick reply.
THE loud little man In gray stood ON
the dry goods box in the street, and, "a
he handed down a bottle Of the pain
killer 10 John Smith and took Johns
quarter. he sang out in rattling tone
" And sold again! And love 10 say sold
AGAIN. for whenever ! say sold againl
another quarter Of dollar drops into
the treasury.
on the subject Of matrimony, n
French philosopher advises: Fathers
and mothers if YOU should choose 10 take
the trouble to see through your tuture
sons-in-law, just look out of the window
at them as they ring the door bell
Daughters needn't look; maidens IN love
never have but one eye, and most OF tho
time not even that
THE French connoisscurs maintain
that an English dinner is positively inde-
cent and immoral A huge chunk OF
bloody roast beef, carved by lank, ynX-
eyed Englishman, amass OF plum pudding
solid enough to NOW down q regiment,
form a spectacle, they say. 20 irighten
the gods, and one which suggests tho
shamblcs.
"SIR," asked an attorney yesterday OF
n witness who was tcstifying in case OF
assault and battery: "havc you ever
been i'm this court before p
"Yes, sir" replied the witness. u
have been here often" ~,
All. been here often, have you y
said the attorney in triumphant tone
90 Now, tell the court what for
"Well." replied the witness, slowly;
% ! have been here at least dozen times
to see you try and collect that tailors
bill you owe"
THE New Testament revision In Eng
land. a work i'm which quite a number Of
eminent divincs are engaged, has now
been going on five years, and tO complete
il probably five years more will be re-
guired. The reviscrs are reported hav-
ing entirely completed their work upon
the four gospels, excepting ~ far ~ two
questions are concerned, which still
cause a difference Of opinion and are yet
10 bc decided. The number of disputed
points is very great, and requires q vast
of research TO. satisfactorily set
tie many of them.
A PHILADELPHIA millincr apprentice
went 10 visit her mother in the country
last Sunday, and when that worthy ma
tron beheld her child she exclaimed
% Isabel Marie stephens, what on airth
10 YOU mean, coming out in broad day
light with your gown all kajummuXCd
npin heap behind yc, and all bound up
in that way in front Of ye? And hain't yo
got no stockings all Of one color, that ye
laf TO wear them zcbra-colorcd thingsf
Thought We was gOin' to be a millincr.
Sh'd think ye'd married barber, and
was playing up sgnbOard for him. Did i
,ver think one ofmy girls would come 10
.hisw
NOTABLE INVENTIONS. -- The first
mention i'm history of the use Of steam
Is motive power is as follows: Hero,
of Alexandria, Egypt, about
ifty wears anterior 10 the birth Of Christ,
invented a machine in which q motion Of
continued rotation was impaired % am
lxis by the reaction of steam Issuing
rom lateral orificcs i'm arms placed at
.ipht angles to the revolving axis. his,
We believe, was the first machine that
vas ever put in motion by steam. The
irst actual model ~ a steam carringe OF
which we have written account, was
constructed bya Frcnchman named Cug-
rot, who exhibited il before the Mar
luis de SAKE in 1868. The first passcn-
ser steam car was put upon the Stockton
md Darlington railroad, England, Sep
ember p, 1925. Professor Morse pat
.nted his invention of the telegraph IN
s37, but the first line in operation, from
to Baltimore was not COM
llcted until 1874.
GEORGIA CoTroN PLANTEEs.-Cotton
s now rolling into this city, writes a cor
respondent from Augusta, nj the rate OF
90 bales per day. II is Immediately
brown upon the market and sold, thus
Law after day drawing from New York
he sum Of Si5, 900, or S270, 600 per week,
md putting it in circulation among our
,eople. Money matters are rapidly grow
NO easier with us, and indeed in all south
rn cotton towns. The planters are in
,etter condition 10 "hold back" their crop
1 a.. hn