The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-07-08
. These eircus Bills.

1hoSe circus Bills.
She had one in her hand as she came ur
stairs, and she didn't say word until after
she had wiped her spectacles, placed them
on her nose, uniolded the bill, and read 8
few of the headlines.
! She was old-fashioned in look. There
were strings to her bonnet. she had no bus.
tie, her gray hair was copbed down
smoothly, and there were only eleven
yards in her black alpaca dress.
Young man, don't you know that cir
cuses are awful liars and humbugs?'' she
finally inquired.
| The man at the table leaned back in his
chair, and refused TO express an opinion.
Well, / know it." she continued in a
positive tone, ssand believe they get wIlss
every day. Now see here-listen To this .
A Gorgeous panOrama.of amazing. won
defs-a gigantic combination of astonisli-
ing acrobaiic talent That's all right on
1.-THE poster, bat hev they got 'em? I'd like
to see one o. them animals. E
- You're laboring under mistake.
madam. 1t means grand display of ma
tural curiosities, and informs the public
that the proprietor has secured many first
classacrobats-the chaps who stand on
their heads, turn head over heals, and cut
up 50 many monkey
(" 1t does, eh?'' she unused; swaal. do
you believe it takes smart person to keel
over?' F ~ s>rtsr
"well, one has to have a good deal OF
training"
"They do, eh?" she remarked. as she
put her umbrella in the corner and spit
on her hands; I'm show you that you
are deceived! Pm an old woman, but If [
can't-p'
Madam, held on-don't do it!r. ex-
claimed the man behind the table.
. Il can flop right over there and never
shake my bonnet?' she said as she rose
up.
Z" know you can, madam, but don't. i
am here alone. and Ii don'twant youFto.
I'd rather you wouldn't. Ifyou are deter
mined on il, shall leave the room :"
swell, you know can do it, and that's
enough. You may be right about what
that means, but see here-hear this: The
highways ablaZe with respondent ehariOts
the grandest pageant on EARTH I've
bin to lots of circuses, young man, and L
never saw a pageantyet. If they had one.
the door of his cage wasn't open.n
sYoa are also in error there. The bill
refers to the fact that the great number of
wagons, chariots, etc., make up sight
worth seeing as they pass along the
street" ~ - 4 sesass-gz srzsT.f5gr
"Um-m n" she muttered, as she folded
the bill over; 81 don't see why they
couldn't have said so then. And now see
here-read that: Sig. GovinOff, in his
aerial flights Now, then, is that boa
constructor or a cmdurango?' &f1--
at is a man, madam-one of the per
formers. His real name is probably Jones,
A,,f hot
put him down as Sig. GOvinOff.' He Is
the man who jumps off rope, turns over
twice. and comes down all right"
"He is. Ell? Well, if he's got an idea
that he's the smartest man alive L want to
diSappOint him. Inever did try to turn
over twice, but I'll do it right here and
now or break my neck! Git the things
offi'n that tablew
"Stay, madam-don't. wouldn't have
you do it for fifty dollars
'Just once! ~ an z.seer 4ss-
"For heavens sake, madam, get down
Offi'n this .table-here-here'S dollar if
you won't do it!''
81 don't want your money, and won't
try it If your so scarf, but don't want no
circus going around talking about aryal
flights and deceiving the people!'
She sat down, the young man wiped the
sweat off his brow, and presently she re-
marked: ~. --.r
'sAnd here's another thing, right here :
a sparkling asterisk. flashing across the
field of the cloth of gold-Mons. Com
cirque in his great delinealions of human
character I'd like to know who she is >
Madam, that is a mana man who de-
lineates character"
"How?"
"Why. he makes up faces-expresses
mirth, sorrow, Joy, and so forth"
''IIe does, ell Well. what's that to
blow about? Make up faces-see here '"
And she shut.her eyes, run her tongue
out, and looked like the bottom of brass
kettle which had been kicked in by a
mule.
They are humbugs, sir ~ she said, as
she drew her tongue in, "and dye 'spOse
I'd pay fifty cents to go to oEe?'
They are quite entertaining as gen.
eral thing"
"'Phey are. Ell? Entertaining. ell ?
Well, if | can't do more entertaining in
five minutes than circus can in all day I'll
leave my bonnet up here Here, hold on
to this chair"
Madam, earnestly hope you are not
going to perform any tricks ..
II hain't, Ell? You just hold on to the
legs of this chair :"
Il can't, madam-I wouldn't do it for
all the diamond-pins in Syracuse! Go
away, madam-gO home! Emin an awful
hurry ~
" Well, won't then, but when say cir
cuses are humbugs, can proveit. Idon't
keer two cents for their big words and
their pan0polies, pageants. asterisks,
giratfes, aryals, gorgeOuSeS and ourang-
outangs-I can beat 'em all holler my
self %
And she took off her spectacles, lifted
her umbrella and went down stairs.-De-
troit Free Press.