The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-04-23
Gas Meters and Gas Bills.

[Frcm tho Boston Globe.
Did ever mortal householder succeed in
fathoming the mystery OF gas E2eters and the
occult relation between them and the quarter
~ summons to step up to the company's
Office and settle Certain it Is that nobody
has ever discovered any relation between the
gas bills and the actual amount Of light en-
joyed during the three months preceding.
The only principle controlling the variations
in these bills which seems reasonable is that
that they are governed by the requirements OF
the company treasury.
We fancy that as the time for settlement
approaches, lively figuring is set up to dis
cover how much money must be gathered in
to cover all expenses and insure the proper
dividends, and that this is apportioned
among consumers at the discretion OF the
Treasurer or somebody else. Let anybody
try the the experiment of keeping down the
bills below certain limit. or even of running
them up certain other limit, and he Will
find how futile it is to attempt to bAlk the
company in its plans of getting its money
rateably from its customers. We have heard
Of people who have discarded the gas
burners altogether and gone back to
primitive methods Of illumination, such as
tallow candles and oil lamps. and others who
have shut up their houses and gone visiting,
in the hope Of escaping the gas bills or re-
ducing their size, but without avail. The
mysterious messenger came as usual and
CROPPED through the cellar with a lantern, and
in due time the bill came with its customary
demand, all unconscious that there had not
been the usual briiliancy in that house for
some weeks Again there have been parties
and late hours, followed by dread of an
enormous gas bill, but it has come in smaller
than usual on that particular occasion.
The matter is past comprehension, but we
suspect that those mysterious looking meters,
with their little dials and pointers, are hum
bug Does any body but the hireliDgs of the
gas companies know how the plaguey things
work? Did any BODY ever take the trouble to
notice whether these pointers move during
the month or are moved by the close-mt q he'd
man with the lantern, who c Dmes around and
goes through the formality of looking at them
aud then making figures in little notebook?
They are always slowed away in some dark
corner, in the most awkward position posi-
bic for an examination, and We do not believe
they are very honest.
They don't look hone st OF act honest, neither
does the man that comes to hold sly inter
view with them once month or once quar-
ter. There is some villainy concocted between
those two dark characters when they are alone
in the cellar, and that accounts for the gas
bills. We question whether those meters go
by gas at all. We fancy there is some clock
work inside that runs them along without any
reference to the illumination furnished, or
else that they only move when the man with
the lantern moves them. This is a mystery,
and we suppose it is not permitted to con-
sumers Of gas to understand it. Indeed, how
those gas bills are constructed is zone Of those
things no fellah can find out, unless he work
IN a gas Office.