, 1875-01-24

Bhspe. FURaxLow
| --1e-
HUhiOR.
Why ID cat on it's hind-iega like the great Fl
Of Niagara : Because 1t il = cAt1erset.
/ Why is an old mans farm in Texas liks th
! focus Of aun-glass BecauAe it's place uher
the sous raise meat.
Mrs. Pattington, reading Of the Strike Of tt
wire-drawers, remarked: "Ah, me, what naH
tangled things won't they wear next?"
What ia the difference between King Henr
VII. and man IN deep thought7 One was
fat King, and the other Is M:n~king.
''Can't you make any allowance for a man
being drunk 7" 'Cerlainly," sald the Judge
"Iu allow you thirty days In the worklouse,"
!, Now is the tins when prudent parents SEQ t
it that the part OF the boys on which they slt0
down bill ate properly hah-soieu with lesther
tin. OF shoet-iron.
| Nothing gives tho foreigners i better, idea o
the gigantic resources Of this country than th
Baby Almond Of California Each nut yield
abont gallon OF prussic acid.
A Daabnry man, who bought new pair d
boots Saturday ssTs ship may stand on ON
tack all night II it wants 10, but ho linda N hol
and half an elegant suihcleucy.
Arade fellow told Barnum that he had neve
humbuc. ayes, I have" said Barnt,nu. IN,
| bcalded lady wasn't barefacod."
/ Aud now they Say William Penn would BIZ
4! down under tree With Indians about him. ind
telling them of the better world beyond tha sea
|
! e,sn ~ tnoiResuon: one 90 onnef-oe
PACE "a. ln i've @inutea. -1os1on fost ana JET
uo nau WY ".o.n f,I seauom ~ pa1s ~ NJ apet1-
| ciai Adcertiser.
1o,.s. ...,... A.
,N Nsssoa ~ noFsetnleI pe1o[e ne "as sl!nnR np'
reninueu 'ne Hoo snat deorge naah1ngton
wou!a pave oeen nans !! cangnt. aofa-heser
steal holse unless 4e ~ faster than any other
49, - ~ o.,
Oo-tne-umls III nal4, 1os19nue-bteak1aet con-
Yefsation-Hlckeu pnpi-f!ease, hliss Jones,
slisn ZONES ttartly aua onVentlonau9)-Nell,
oon 7 let II happen aeaio.-fu'cn.
4 Thomas street school-bov had inst eot his
tace h1eo 70 slng ;" Let ns love one smother" !"
when snowman MT hum IN the 4outh and 20
Gon!useo nun taaI; M ne ye1leo BILL sykss, just
90 taat agin anu l II cha" your ear OF.
While Oh her way to leap into the river. Min-
and she turned back and was happy. ALMOST
ar,v e3ay now ej1o can count four Or i've Ninra-
&poAS kifi7 Walking atooe tne HFes oanks.
This Office Keeps boy who ia paid fifty dollars
4 week to do nothing but lit on chair aud yell,
"shut tie door!" People who come up stairs
on business are thus saved the pam OF bearing
seven or eight men yau out in succession.-De-
troA Free Press.
4 .c,oo, moi % ,,;}ea fro,, Wb;tsbs1, y :.
,xanad W. aot -, ~ 4nuss ,.a "
ago be called out, eThe boy that an looking
at will step out on the door" Immedixtsl,
txepty-eeyen lads walked out in front Of the as
tonished pedagogne.
,1, a1eean a AAt3 n.e.i!e"s i poouane3 tue 1oi-
ta.a 1a rs gu ~
~ sous ~ nou 1ts
une{ ~ tn' htGt ~ e1s c''y os
breakfast-table."
7.,t,en,s, rb;1a sgs1r,,,, =, h;a <,n,,1s,,
tn.,0Au; ~ "r'le .n malAlns ~ hls safo9n
as}gs Iln assep uuuer es5e. no
isr ta1; n' a' ua1ch m . 1u ehoea
~ se4he ~. eua - ~" - ~ Hot.ny !"
~ ~ ~ ~ 1ao ssa ~ .4e. .esaon
:nt ~ .tsdas naa ne sa4oenet' 1A' ciep' up
sn1o 'ne snaoe'
We are told that the late Mayor HavemeJer
as}o us1u ~ taAe e1etclse oe SAYING "ooo IN nts
ee.a. s.1 - esea5 m9lus ana mi. Hav9me5gl "
NJ "m w .eelaostea' x1 9.eu very suooen. ine1e
~" 1. 3a anoaS al.'ea . en
y. i; s.ts -. .ssr su1 e;aso ao.s u 81 -
el97' III SAAen ~ LICK "4'e''@'o'' ''to0'' 1'e'-
An honeat farmer waa invited to attend q party
at tale village s9nire's one evening, where there
WAS music, both vocal aud instrumental On
the following morning be met one OF the guests,
who SAID "Well farmer, how did you enjoy
youase: ~ 'a1. 1lful. mofe noI tne Goai.ets e.
~ =. ~, ,ant asa,, ~ ~, r. Iaa @ s15 sa.o
~. ~ ~ oaa s1 saate ~ wv @1e PUN eaops
were 8ne nueo' e'ef ato'
It is = bard winter, but the price OF ostrich
tips continues pauicy-or, rather, there is always
panic IN the house That cheriahes desire fol
them without realizing from it. When the qnes-
ton comes up, ''Bread or feathers ?" it is good
deal as it was with the boy when asked which OF
his demands was the most Imperative" Never
mind the Shoes. dad" be replied, " I must have
the breast-pin r'--Aor,Dich aurora
hov .hor. u va,r. ,1d s,+a-aa. n.+ro;+. +.
har shon rocartiy and sssad ~ 49,. -. oe
his hair down close. The barber inquired if be
wasn't afraid Of catchiug cold, when the boz re-
Piled "1ve got to run the chances for there's
trouble ahead. Tomorrow ia the day sot for me
aud Sixth Ward boy to meet over behind Good |
hue's barn and see whose the boss boy Of De-
troit, ard he's powerful at pulling hair. Gut 'er
right down to the skuipl"
4 h;b,tons o.nt,em., want b,roa Ma v..r>.
,van,nn ahopf 1o ocIoct ss,ar 1oel,nn i.1 asaI
cal1a and feenr rather :. d;aco,-.aaa .t,,ontht
a wo;,1d % xsik NJ md doun tTa atFa 11unsns 1;tts
,ooi OF before meeting his better hn1f % IKE ~ ~
nas yery thin and iusinustinS ~ bnt h. ,tnod =