The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1875-09-30
All y Humbug.


Editor 1acertiser. - Seeing in
yours and other papers, statements
about the great age Of Governor
Allen, Of Ohio, and Letter, OF Iowa,
hsve endeavored to ascertain the
truth about them. 1t il not true
thar Governor Allen saw the bare
ground on which the pyramids Of
Egypt Row stand. | have searched
eli of the first books Of the Bible and
do not find his name there ST al; but
turning 10 profsne history, the first
mention we have OF bis name is in
the reign Of Nero. The Emperor,
when he was one oil them that stood
bv q, the burning Of Rome. ! wrote
20 nv uncle. in Ohio, who Is a lead
ing Democrat, . neighbor and
SPECIAL friend Of Cor. Aliens, 70 as
certain bis age from him. He says
the venerable Cor. positively refused
20 give his age = BE- expected 70 be
; candidate for Office ia tie next
century and il might work 10 his in
jury. In conversation with him, be
savs the nrst event fHst b. nas .
distinct recollection uf was .ilex#.-
der the Great oyerrunning Europe and
Asia. and Hannibal crossing he
Alps and invading ltsly, and j. quite
familiar with everF event from that
date 10 the present tine
Nv uncle saws thst wAlae 1e rank
and fle Of Democracy of Gaio firmly
believe be is As old as Noah, the
more intelligent Democrats and all
the Republicans do not believe he i
much over two ihousznd years old
Speaking Ct Mr. Letter. Governor
Allen saws he knows All about HIM,
that he rocked him iii cradle when
9 babv. He sars Letter wss born
the same rear that tie G1tas and
ysndals from tie North invaded
Europe: ard that beng : Dor during
the DARK ages. bis educatsoa wss ne
elected ss books AMI schools we're
verv scarce during Bis vouth, buf
tina, sor the last few hundred years /
be las been learning yfrv last and !
he has 10 doubt but il a t4R e-Hau- /
mes more he would be 3 man d vast /
intellect, learning AMI power. Bot
be ID. too young msB yet 70 expect
much from hin nov. Gov. Alien
SAYS in giving dates be may =
Elite inacurzte as tine su1 date
with him is good deal Ike tue
dates given in The first chapter Of
Genesis-there called dsT. bu.
might be longer time.
The Governor is AFRAID rs ere
sight is falling bin a little, as i :
but very recently b. first caUght
sight or that great Light shst has
arisen in the West in the pers z q
Joseph Weaver, Of Iozs, uat be sees
it plainly now; bis iHtellect j. a.
great As sn Egyptian munnT and be
predicts . great future for Joseph
that be viii succeed ia weaving
parties into che we5b and
then make sait aG, q the eao,a r.
himself.
The Governor j. PeFtectly Cell ht ,
FL win the shire witness OF the Dem .
Jcrzey 81 ioaa III receiving iuto
their benevolent hasoms Ill tbe
.pe.ed out Republican sog he says
i vote is vote any way AMI While
hey will catch many long cared
animal ani orpossuu, and ooeassonly
. eraag -aaiaug II IS very ,r.te the
present Auditor n Cedar county t.
sn' one Of them,
TIE Governor Eays ehe beads Of
Democracy @; Iowa are level when /;
hey sag The negro Is o1Ay 4. Ter 10
ogns; foE when lie used to i've In /,
Africa, negro soup, hash and bologna /,
ras called rare dist sa3 is jzst as
rood here as there, for be has ried .
1 and knows whereof be speaks
The Governor is euthusi .tic over
he day when he shall be President,
Boss Iaeei his Treaurer, and ali the
hosts OF Democracy and Liberals re-
,eive Their iisa Of soap at bis hands
Aytgy Igyy