, 1875-05-02
CHICAGO TRIBUNE: SUNDAY 1876-sxrEEN: PAGES

SlA1EEflN iFAGES.
| 81 per bottle; walk up, walk up. gentleman, to
| the great fountain Of health and drink from its
exhaustiees depths. ANY man failing to buv
this renowned and ilustrous. medicine is
murderer st heart; only 81 per bottle, and full
| directions inclosed in Enghah, German, and
French" Or you have seen him In q thoupsnd
| other ptaces lung to the best of his ability.
There are many other kinds too numerous to
| mention The particular Lar I designed to
ths s bonsa e tho
| Old Tobe he WIS generally called. He was
an old Virgsnian from Culpepper County. Il
sober, quiet fellow was old Iobe, and he
| did nothing but loaf around and tell big tales.
He could tell the most marvellous and improba-
BILE stories I ever heard, and yet he did it with
such eloguenca And l1npreasiyeness that one WAS
halfway compelled to believe in him, Tie old
| fellows hair WAS very white, his mouth was OF
the os rotunduns order, and hls innocent blue
| eyes betokeped man Of the most excellent re-
| racity. Everybody liked old Tobe. Everybody
liked to hear him talk Tobe Was not = bore; ho
was not always forcing you to hear one OF his
| tales. He always waited for = MICS chance to
| slip in yarn: Il you we're sitting in grocery
! would tell this story:
"Gentlamen, once owned tho best dog that
ever llyed.. That dog has passed from this cold
hearted world to better, hope Wipes tear
l
that dog to me as comfort to me in my OLD
age. Gentlemen, hs WAS ratter, regular rat
ter,--a Scotch terrier imported from Dundee.
Lord, gentlemen what sense that dog had, and
| he seemed to know Just what his mission in this
| world Was. He scanned to know that Providence
put him here to Kill rats. Gentlemen, / saw
that deg kill ,257 rats in one hour, aud when
they we're all gone he sat down and howlad be-
cause there were no more. It was pitifnl sight
to see: Ono day took him to the barn to kill
rata 1t ri cnFNn1atAfY Nn3hYT0tned with hnfA&
and stationed him 1t hole on one eide, and
| vent to another place and punched them up.
| Well the rats began to pour ont and
he killed hundred; and then they com
caught three In his mouth. aud got ono under
each foot and then wish may be damned it
he didn't back up and stick bus tail IN the hole
to stop them until he killed what no had; after
ed the hole and let EN- coma again. but every
little bit tsy would get too fast for him. and be
would back up and stop the whole. He did that
dfty.two times aud killed 2, 4s74 rats. Poor TEL
low tho strain on bis mind was too much for
him he died next day OF apople1y."
After he had finished. Bome one would ask
about the half of rat, and Ae would say - Oh,
can't just explain it, but know the hggers ara
right; it occurred some way in averaging"
II any one should speak Ut travelling aftec
nieas Tobe Han ready with this story:
"Genslemen, once mado remarkable drive
after night. I was driving six-horEe team, and
my ightest horse weighed 4 ton. bad to cross
long. open, rickety oridge, about $50 feet high,
that would hardly bear hundred pounds the
bridge was two inches narrower than my wagon,
but by allowing the tire to iut over an inch on
each side could make it,. Ny wagon-tire WAS
only an inch and q quarter vide, and you see
hadn't much to play on. The night was VerY
dark-dark as stack OF 'niggere. so dark that
could rot See an elephant four inches ahead of
me. We'll, drove to the bridge, whipped my
team into gailop, and crossed it straight as an
a,7o1o, hut Of course felt little queer"
It you Tera talking Of stout men he would tell
this:
ssGentlenen, once lifted considerable load
for man OF my size. It occurred IN this way:
l Was recovering from severe sickness, and
MAS as weak - child. 7 was sitting in font Of
my house one morning. when my Kiln OF lumber
took firs. was seasoning 100000 feet OF ium-
ber to build rnilk-housa with it was supported
by several posts- When saw the ire shouted
to my men Il had fifteen hands working for mo)
to 80 and push it down they went and tr1ed
their best to do SO. but couldn't bulge it. Well.
seized = pust, and, putting al tny strength
against it, pushed the pile Of tssnsber doacn but
must confess that I felc sore for 3 few hours"
Or sometimes he would tell this: -
'sGeutlemen, vas recovering from cholers.
was very low and weak, So meak that If you
would ian me right hard would fail over
went ont riding one morning on large, power
ful horse-I suppose he would weigh ton
the wind Was blowing gale; hs WAS crossing
rotten bridge his front legs fell through. and
thrown OF. Well didn't know what to Co.
couldn't BEG anybody around tho horse WAS
fouudering about and It something wasn't done
pretty quick he would break his legs Well IN
sort OF mad frenzy put myself against his
ma ace stars-and raised him right up; but
am bound to admit that it made me so sick that
I couldn't ride. and had to walk bome."
II you should ever happen to have chickens
TOR topic, Tobe was ready with thus story:
"Gentlemen, ,"-he siwaYs began his discourse
in she po1itest mauner,-''it is angular how long
chicken will live without air. remarkable
thing once happened to hen on my fathers
farm when Was boy. We had an old whlse
hen that was setting in barrel IN tue barn.
Well, when re cut our hay NC piled it IN the
burn, and bJ sccident TIE covered up the old hen
about 90 feet. She remained covered up more
than two years. When we moved the hay OF or
tie barrel there WAS the old hen, It WAS a very
pi1ifnl sight to see her, she was SO thln; %nen
lifted her up she seemed considerably lighter
than a feather aud as soon as us fresh ar
struck he7. she died. I think that when fresh air
strikes anything that has been confined long
time that way it will de-"
It you were discussing politics and c8nolQases
he would give you this one:
''Gentleuaen, some years ago, when lived IN
CulpePper County, Virginia, mr friends noul-
mated me for County Judge. Well, didn't want
the Office didn't care = d-n for it, and told
most popular man in the county as the Candidate
against me. Well, was determined they should
not elect me, and went out into the county and
eloctioneered against myself for three months :;
saw every man in the county and told each one
to vote for the other man and against me. When
the election came of saw each man again per
sonally at the polls, and again begged them TO
vote against me. I Soted against myself. IN
vented and had circulated story that haa aeen
a thoss -thief. You Gee didn't want the Office.
Wall when tbe vptey we're counted he only beat