The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-06-17
Facts and Fiction.

with girl in his life.
The greatest feat in eating ever record
ed is told of a man who commenced by
boiling door, after which he threw up
window, and swallowed whole story.
A man is said to be absent-minded
when he thinks he has left his watch at
home and takes it out of his pocket to see
if he has time to return home and get it..
"Kill him kill him ~ shouted crowd in
Virginia City as they gathered around a
hotel. "What lor?'' inquired a stranger
"IIe's got on alligator boots and velvet
coat. Mash im."
The son of a clergyman was delivering
college valed;ctory, when in pulling out
his handkerchief, he pulled out pack OF
cards. "IIuloa!" he exclaimed, "Pve got
on my fathers coat"
-Four doctors tackled Johnnie Smith,
They blistered and they bed him;
With squills and anti-biiious pills
And ipecac, they fed him.
They stirred him up with caomed,
And tried to move his liver;
But all i'll vain-his little soul
Was waited DER the river
The other day, Red Bank boy, while
out hunting, shot and killed beaver, by
an cid beaver dam site. The beaver weigh
ed over fifty pounds. You don't often 6ui
ii beaver as heavy as that by dam site
not in Ohio, anyhow.
Frisco bootblack -"Shin er boots, sir?"
james Lick (testily ye"Didn l tell you
five minutes ago that didn't want my
boots biackened?" aye r did, mister; but
| didn't know but what er'd MAKE revo
caton!" Exit bootblack.
Mrs. Rose, of Conn &c ticut, said she
would hang herself if X ose wasn't home at
eight o'clock. When he came in at night
she was suspended to a beam, cold and
dead, and he rubbed his hands and whisper
ed: There's a woman who couldn't tell a
lie!"
"We read in de good book" says color
ed Baptist brother down South, "of John
de Baptist-nebber of John de Methodist"
And that, says Charleston correspondent
of the New York Observer, is the reason
most of the colored Southern people are
Baptists.
A newsboy, seated on the post Office
steps, counted his pennies over and remark
Il.
for the circus, three for peanuts, four for a
sinking fund, four l owe to Jack, and
there's one left to support widowed
mother on until Saturday night"
IT was II o'clock at night when Mr..
Berger, of Macon, Ca, discovered color
ed preacher in his stable untying a horse,
and the preacher only observed-"Jess
what l said all de time, Mistah Berger,
your horse is bay sure enuff and dat spute
between me an Brudder Jackson is settled.
A Broad Street, Newark, physician was
called upon last week to attend seamstress
who felt indisposed. He inquired as to her
health, and she responded, very appropriate
| ly, "Wel!, it's about seu, sew, Doctor, but
seams worse to, day, and have frequent,
| stitches in the side" The doctor hemmed,
as he felt her pulse said she would mend
soon, aud left prescription.
While riding in stage coach from Kin
derhook to Albany, New York, many years
since, John Van Buren, who was smoking,
asked stranger in the stage if smoking
was agreeable to him. The stranger an
swered: "Yes, it is agreeable. Smoke
away. / have often thought if ever | was
rich enough l would hire some loafer to
smoke 10 my face Mr.. Van Buren threw
his cigar out of the window.
Sunday was a delicious day. 1t was
natures grand overture. The sunshine
VAS balmy and brilliant, the air was as
gentle as an angels touch, and the birds
melody thrilled earth aud Heaven. Man
walked forth into the country, breathing
in the delicious fragrance, bathing his soul
in the blessed sunshine, and rejoicing in
the glad music of the birds. The next
morning he was yelling at the top of his
voice, "Wbsre in thunder is that ar thlck
undershirt, Maria?
On the ferry boat crossing the Missis' ip-
pi, recently, were an old couple from
| Louisiana, coming to visit their friends in
Yicksburg. The old gentleman was walk
ing around, despite his wIie's predictions
that something would happen to him, and
, be suddenly found himself in the river.
She heard his yell and caught sight of him,
and leaning over tho rail she shouted:
"There, Samuel, didn't tell you so? Now
, then, work your legs, fap your arms, hold
f your breath and repeat the Lords Prayer
for it's mighty ousartin, Samuel, whether
you'll land in Vicksburg or eternity" Hs
/ landed at the former