Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1875-05-13
Anmuruns department.
A REGULAR PRESCRIPTION.

"' o'y A'SnS, ouo IoPlleu, puSuluS
her bonnet back and making ready for
speech.
"Very we'll, madam, go ahead, while /
take few bites from this apple. Elucidate,
and spare.no pains to bring out the truth"
"Well, you know" she commenced, unpin-
ming her shawl, ''you know I got kicked by a
horse
"Possiblew
"Yes-a week ago. I tainted away, had a
doctor, and came near dying. Kicked me
in the side, right here"
"Go on, madam"
"The doctor prescribed sling for me-" she
said, land the sling was too strong, and 1
lost my senses in the street."
"How does it come, Mrs. Denison, that you
were under neighbor's window, sleeves rolled
up, hair down, and offering her fifty cents to
come out just fifteen seconds ?" he asked.
II don't know Il know the doctor prescribed
sling" she answered.
any such doings This is the nineteenth CEN
tury, you know, and people can no longer
act like barbarians. SHALL
Remember, it was regular prescription,
she interrupted.
eyes, and this regular sentence. It's ten
dollars or sixty days"
How IS THIS FOR PEDIGREE "A very
searching investigation was carried on a few
years ago, in the North Of England, by two
families who were searching up their respect
i've ancestry.
The strife was great between them, each
one determined to look back into antiquities
farther than the other.
One Of the families, whose name was Spen-
Ger, employed an artist to paint an historic
scene, representing the building Of the ark,
and the loading up of the ship by Noah and
his sons with its mutefarious and various
cargo.
On the gang-plank leading to the deck Of
the ark two men were seen rolling up large
box, on one side of which was painted in large
letters, "Relics, insignia, and papers belong
ing to the Spencer family"
This was considered coup detat hard to
beat, but the other family, determined not to
be out done in antediluvian preteuces of their
name, prepared, at great cost and research, q
record of their antiquity.
In describing the exploits of one of their
ancestors, at very early day, who was repre-
sented, as a man Of some authority, this re-
markable passage occurs
During this year Adam and Eve were
driven out of Paradise"
nS- One of the last as we'll as one of the
neatest hits made by Ben Butler, just before
the close of the last session of Congress, oc-
Cured during the famous "dead lock" fight
on the civil rights bill. The question of ad-
journment was under consideration, and Gen.
Butler had stepped over to Mr.. Randall's
desk for private consultation. Butler IA
vored Sunday session. Randall opposed.
bad as am, have some respect for Gods
day." said the Democrat, and don't think
it proper to hold session of Congress on that
day"
20, pshaw!" responded Butler, don't the
Bible say that it is lawful to pull your OK or
ass out of the pit on the Sabbath day? You
have seventy-three asses on your side of this
house that want to get out Of this ditch to-
morrow, and think I am engaged in holy
work"
"Don't do it, Butler, pleaded Sam. 81
have some respect for you that don't want
to lose I expect some day to meet you in a
better world"
You'll be there, as you are here" retorted
Butler, quick as thought-a member Of the
Loaoer House,
WHAT He WANrED.-A shock. headed
youth went into Morris music store, Satur-
day afternoon, and softly scratching the shin
of one leg with the foot of the other, asked if
Mr.. Morris had the new songs.
Certainly" said that gentleman, stepping
sprilv hack of the counter "whch one do
you wish?'
Have you got that air piece called
called" here the young man paused and
then suddenly added-"called-Gray Hairs
in the butterp'
Whats that ?" said Mr.. Morris, rubbing
his hand in painful abstraction.
"Gray Hairs in the Butter" repeated the
young man, changing legs.
Perhaps" kindly suggested a gentleman
who has boarded for twelve years, "our young
friend means Silver Threads among the
Gold'"
That's it, by gum." shouted the young
man, in a burst of pleasure
Mr.. Morris had it.-Danbury Ne,os
THE YANKEE OUTw1rTED.--A Yankee
and Frenchman owned pig in copartner.
ship. When killing time came, they wished
to divide the meat. The Yankee was very
anxious to divide so that he could get both
hind quarters, and persuaded the Frenchman
that the proper way to divide was to cut it
across the back. The Frenchman agreed to
it on condition that the Yankee would turn
his back and take choice of the pieces after it
was cut in two. The Yankee turned his back
and the Frenchman asked
"Vich piece will you have-ze piece wild ze
tail on him, or re piece vat amt got no tail =
"The piece with the tail" replied the Yam.
kee
"Den, by gar, you can take him along, and
take ze oder one," said the pleased French
man.
Upon turning around, the Yankee found
that the Frenchman had cut off the tail, and
stuck it into the pigs mouth.
Supreme Bench of California, was trying a
case where farmer claimed damages against
a mining company, for blowing vailings on
to the farmers land. A witness testified as
to the effect of a stick lying in stream of wa
ter carrying the vailings, and obstructing the
same. Judge 3. Ito witness)-"How large
was this stick you speak of" Witness-"l
don't recollect." Judge-"Cant you approx
innate the size% Witness-"Well no did
not measure it" Judge (growing impatient -
"Well, sir, was it as thick as my wrist p W.T.
ness-"Well, yes somewhat larger. From my
recollection now, I should judge it to be