South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1875-11-12

new arrival. At last he could stand il
no longer. and exclaimed: There is
One special request desire of this con.
gregation. and that is chat they will turn
all the seats around so as TO face the
door before ], preach here again" His
request was attended TO, and next sun.
day. when the Rev.. Mr.. -Celiin.5 walked
mp to the pulpit he looked around ut the
backs Of his audience, and was so over
come with emotion that hc just took his
seat and spoke not one word that beau.
tiful Sabbath evening
t@"Well, Jane, this is very queer
world" said Joe to his sister; IA sect of
woman philosophers has just sprung up
'Indeed?" said Jane: and what do
they hold?"
The strangest thing in nature said
he-"their tongue
g-g-A little boy OF four years, stand.
ing in the moonlight by his sister aged
six, said to her, Isn't God good man,
Nelly,to give us such beautiful moon?"
ooh, Freddy" said the sister. in earnest
remonstrance, don't call God a man.
for if ever there was . gentleman. I'm
sure God is one.' Facts. Cuistiun
Union.
10 Yankee has invented q milking
machine that can he carried in pocket
book. Now, if he were to invent a milch
GOV that could ba carried in the coat
tail pocket his machines would sell more
rapidly.
Ia CmLp-"Does the Lord take the
papers?" Mother-"No my child why
doyou ask" Chid-"Oh, l thought he
didn't, it takes our minister so long to
tell him about things ."-Ne~ Hocen
Register.
t1~ An Irish tailor, on making n zen.
tlemans coat and vest too small, was
ordered TO take them home and let them
out. Some days af-er the gentleman
was told that the garments happened to
fit countryman Of the tailors and he
let thcm at 4 shilling week
To- a gentleman of Birmingham, Con
necticut, who was visiting the optical
works ut that place with some friends.
the other day. concluded to furnish him.
self with a new pair Of L, e-glasses and
tried on several pairs, Is he supposed.
one Of which. he finally declared. suited
his eye, better than any he had ever
had. His friends smiles caused Linn to
examine them closely. when he found |
that they were fine pair Of frames with. /
out glasses.
Ia At a recent examination OF one
the schools in Washington. the one ,ti9u /
was put to . class OF small boys: "Whv /
Is the Connecticut river 50 Call0i2' !
wren 4 bright little fellow put ND his /.
hand. do YOU know james," Yes. /.
ma'am. Dccanse 1t connects Vermont /
and New Hampshire. and cuts through /.
Massachusetts - was the triumphant /
reply.
An EQUINE SETTEE.-A Yankee who (
was travelling through Kentucky hal /.
fine horse, and no money. lie had I.
taught the animal TO lie down o. Sit on
his h2unches wACatle i~idlc was pallcd /
pretty hard. Ga. traveller saw no way
of rcplcnishing his purse but hv ssllin,
his horse, and tins me resolved TO do al
the FIR. opportunity. Is be was going
slowly along. he sow % hunter NJ Some
distance from The road. whom he rode
up TO and accoetcd. Ia Tue course of
the conversation he fold the Ia,tar bo
had an Invaluable horse To- sclI--a i.,I-.
that would ac' precisely like setter
when he was in the vicinity OF game
{" ting his eyes around. ut the same time
discove:'0~ come fresh rabbit tracks. he
save ib" bride q Jerk The docile quad.
rnpcd immediately lay down.
There arc some rabbits here said
the uder; 81 know by his cars"
inc kcntucki1n, curious e. test the
rcputcd sagacity of the horse. searched
around. and sure enough, started tl.oe
o. four rabbits. lie was c.c.Nv sur.
lrisc6,lu. fh- Yankee took thc alTaira
q matter of course. ~ make q LONG
a'oJ hort tho wonderful l1s. c'.apr.
Il ifouds on the spot. $500 hein. the
consideration. Ilisu owner mounted
him. and with Characteristic hospitality
the Yankee agreed 10 accompany him
home. They soon came to stream
which they bad TO cross. and which was
r9fhcr deep for ho-acmcu. JUDGE or.lo
kcuiuckian'5 dismav when ON pulliug
the bride i'm the middle Of the river. MS
s'cci subsidized Iva thc running waters MS
Ii hc were lippopOtamUs.
'iiow lH 'Hf>' be- loarej out. nothing
bot Ai head visible.
The Yankee who was mounted on tle
hunter horse ar not Disconnected in
The To- = hl, replied. co,llv:
"Oh, ! forgot 10 tell SON ho f. rs
good Tor fish os he is FOR rabbits ,"-
Ca,e U,.h
40 was r. Connections editor gyt,