Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1875-06-17
MRS. STUN.


Mrs. Moody's, on Macomb street, the
other day, her iron~gray hair combed
down fiat and her spectacles adjusted
to gossip range, when she suddenly
rose and said:
"Mrs. Moody, be calm. Where DO
YOU keep the camphor bottle ?"
"Why?" asked the surprised Mrs
Moody.
because they are bringing your
husband through the gate on board
think he's mashed dead, but be calm
about it'll I'll stay right here and see
to thlngsl"
Mrs. Moody threw up her arms and
fell down in a dead faint, and Mrs.
Stun opened the door as the men laid
the body on the porch.
SIS he dead" she asked in an even
tone.
81 think So" answered one Of the
men "the doctor Il be here in a
minute
The doctor came up, looking at
the victim, and SAID life had fled,
adding:
"His back and four or FIVE ribs are
broken" Mr..
"That's sensible, that is" ''iu MIS-
Stun, gazing at the doctor III a'','ia
ton. ssome raysicians would have
Wv. A., mis- vertebrse was mortally
a..,ded, and would have gone on to
talk about the 1arynx, the arteries,
the optic nerves and the diagnosis
If he's dead it'll be some satisfaction to
know what he died Of Well, lug iu
the body and send boy after an I'M
dertaker."
The men carried the body through
to bedroom, and Mrs. Stun Went
back to Mrs. Moody, who had
revived and was wailing and lament
ing.
SDon't Julia-don't take on SO"
continued Mrs. Stun. 'Of course you
feel badly, and this interferes with
taking up carpets and cleaning house,
but it's pleasant weather for funeral,
and think the corpse will look as nat,
ural as life"
"Oh! my poor, poor husband" wall
ed Mrs. Moody.
"He was good husband, I'll swear
to that" continued Mrs. Stun, 'but he
was dreadful careless to let house
fall on him. Be calm Mrs. Moody !!
I've sent for one Of the best under
takers in Detroit, and you'll be sur"
prised at the way he'll fix up the
deceased"
When the undertaken came in, Mrs.
Stun shook hands and said that death
was sure to overtake every living thing
sooner or later. She mentioned the
kind of coffin she wanted, stated the
number of hacks, the hour for the
funeral, and held the end of his
tape-lne while he measured the
body.
Several other neighbors came in, and
she ordered them around and soon had
everything working smoothly. The
widow was sent to her room to weep
out her grief, doors and windows were
opened, and as Mrs. Stun built up a
good baking fire, she said:
"Now, then, we want pie and cake
and sauce and raised buiscuit and
floating islands. He'll have watchers,
and the watchers must have plenty to
eat"
When the baking had been finished
the coffin and undertaken arrived, and
the body was placed IN its receptacle.
Mrs. Stun agreed with the undertaken
that the face wore a natural expression,
and when he was going away she
said:
"Be around on time! Don't put in
any second.class hacks, and don't have
any hitch in the proceedings at the
grave!'
From that hour until 2 o'clock of
the second day thereafter she had full
charge. The widow was provided
with black bonnet, a Grape shawl,
etc., the watchers found plenty to eat,
minister was sent for, eighteen chairs
were brought in from the neighbors
and everything moved along like clock
work.
"You must bear up" she kept say
ing to the widow. blouse cleaning
must be done, that back yard must be
raked of, the pen-stock must be
thawed out, and you haven't time to
sit down and grieve, His life was in
sured, and we'll go down next week
and select some lovely mourning
goods"
Everybody who attended said they
never saw funeral pass off so smooth
~, and when the hack had landed the
widow and Mrs. Stun at the door
again, Mrs. Stun asked:
'Now, didn't you really enjoy the
ride after all ?"
And the widow said she wouldn't
have believed that she could have
stood it so well.-Det,'oit Free Press.
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