The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-04-09
A SOmnambulist Pilot.
COaxing Steamboat Through Crooked
Pass in the Dark.

EdSS IA the LdEAs
BY MARK TWAIN.
There used to be an excellent pilo
on the river, Mr.. X. who was som
nambulist. It was said that, if hi.
mind was troubled about bad piece o.
river, he was pretty sure to get up anG
walk in his sleep and do strange things
He was once fellow pilot for trip OIL
two with George E, on great New
Orleans passenger packet. Late one
night the boat was approaching Helena,
Ark, the water was low, and the cross
ing above the town in very blind aud
tangled condition. x. had seen the
crossing Since E. had,. and, as the
night was particularly drizzly, sullen
and dark, E-was considering whether
he had not better have X. called to as
sist in running the place, when the door
opened and x. walked in.
Let me take her, Mr.. E; I've
seen this place since you have, and it is
SO crooked that reckon I can run it my
self, easier than l could tell you how to
do it."
So 1t is kind of you, and L swear I am
willing. [ haven't got another drop of
perspiration left in me. I have been
spinning around the wheel like squir-
rel. 1t is so dark can't tell which
way she is swinging till she is comign
around like whirligig."
So E took a seat on the bench,
painting and breathless. X assumed
the wheel without saying anything,
steadied the waltzing steamer with
turn or two, and then stood at ease,
coaxing her little to this side and then
to that, as gently and as eweetly as if
the time had been MONDAY. When E
- observed the marvel of steering,
he wished he had not confessed. He
stared and wondered, and finally said
'Well, thought [ knew how to steer
a steamboat, but that was another mis-
take of mine"
x. said nothing, but went seIenely on
with his work. He rang for leads be
rang to slow down the steam; he worked
the boat carefully and neatly into invis-
ible marks, tn n stood at the centre of
the wheel and peered out blandly into
the blackness, fore and aft, to verify
his position; as the leads shoaled more
and more, he stopped the engines en-
tirely, and the dead silence and suspense
of g drifting" followed; when the shoal-
est water was struck he cracked on the
steam, carried her handsomely over,
and then began to work her warily into
the next system of shoal marks the
same patient, heedful use of leads and
engines followed /; the boat slipped
through without touching bottom, and
entered upon the third and last intri-
cacy of the crossing; imperceptiblv she
moved through the gloom, crept by
inches into her marks, drifted tediously
till the shoalest water was cried, and
then, under tremendous head of steam,
went swinging over the reef and away
into deep water and safety
E. let his long pent breath pour
out in long, relieving sigh, and said
THAT the sweetest piece of pilot
ing that was ever done on the Missis-
sippi river wouldn't have believed
it could be done, if I hadn't seen it.
There was no reply, and he added
"Just hold her five minutes longer,
partner, and let me run down and get
cup of coffee"
A rainute later E. was biting
nto pie down in the "texas," and
comforting himself with coffee. Just
hen the night watchman happened in,
md was about to happen out again,
when he noticed E., and exclaimed /:
"Who is at the wheel, sir ?"
"X-."
Dart for the pilot-house quicker
han lightning.
The next moment both men were |
lying up the pilot house companion
way three steps at a jump Nobody
here The great steamer was whis- |
ling down the middle of the river at a |
Ter own sweet will The watchman |
hot out of the place again. E -
eized the wheel, set an engine back |
With power, and held his breath while
he boat reluctantly swung away from a
tow-head which he was about to
mock into the middle of the Gulf of |
Iexico
'By and by the watchman came back
nd said:
Didn't that lunatic tell you he was
sleep when he first came up here !"
"No."
"Well, he was. I found him walk
1g along on the top of The ratings,
1st as unconcerned as another man
'ould walk pavement and put him
D bed. Now just this minute there he
ras away astern, going through that
ort of tight-rope deviltry the same as
efore."
"Well, I think Til stay by, next time
e has one of those fits. But I hope
ell have them often. You just ought
} have seen him take the boat through
[elena crossing. never saw anything
D gaudy before. And if he can do
lch gold-leaf. kid-glove, diamond
reast pin plotting when he is sound
sleep, what couldn't he do If he was
ead?"