The tribune. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1875-05-05
Items Of Interest.

Items OF Interest.
Something that ought to be put down
carpets.
The lawyers ore coming out with
spring suits.
What holds all the snuff in the world
No one nose.
What is it that poor man has and q
rich man wants. Nothing.
1t appears that coming copper is not
profitable. The government has not
made half cent since 1857.
Mark Twain denies that his "Gilded
Age" was failure. He says it gave q
poor, worthy bookbinder a job.
Prof. of Rhetoric: "What important
change came over Burns in the latter
part of his ife9" Senior: "He died"
The latest addition to the umbrella is
"a pane of glass, inserted in the front
breadth, through which the holder can
see his way.
At Manchester, England, the other
day woman was found guilty of unin-
territorial bigamy and was sent to prison
for one day. .--..
"John, John, wake up, there's q bur
glar in the house." said his wife. John
sat upright in bed. Burglar, bur
gl-e-r-burglar and he rolled over
waiting for harder word.
Emperor William has written to de-
scendent of Handel that q new quarter is
to be added to the city of Berlin, in
which all the streets will be named after
Germany's musical celebrities.
Take life easy, and don't always be
trying to beat the sun up, says an ex-
change. You may win for awhile, but in
tho long run you are sure to be beaten,
and some morning it will rise when you
don't.
A few days ago q Kentucky colored
man bought a catfish, and in dressing it
found growing in the flesh Of the fish q
separate tissue in the form of q human
hand, about as large as that of an infant
q year old. gt r
The first number of Colorado paper
prints two -colmmn list of the staple
products of the new State. It is chiefly
made up of minerals, but includes deer
horns, live eagles and similar fruits of
fertile soil.
Viscount de Losgerl. has investigated
apothecaries' profits. He says that
| bottle of seidlitz water, sold for twenty
five cents, costs to make it one cent and
half, and that other profits generally
dre in this proportion.
"Augustus, DEAR" said she, tender
pushing him from her as the moonlight
flooded the bay-window where they were
standing, "I think you had better try
some other hair dye; your mustache
tastes like turpentine."
Wolf scalps are received in payment
of taxes in Missouri at the rate of
five dollars scalp. Thelegislative COM
mittee appointed the other day to burn
the scalps accumulated in the last two
years destroyed about sc, 900 worth.
A Minneapolis butcher dreamed one
night that he had only seven fingers, and
the next day he cut off finger with an
unlucky stroke of cleaver, That night
he dreamed he hadn't any head, and
he has ever since been living in terrible,
dread.
The ore from the Newburyport e;lyer
mines increases in richness as the shafts
are sunk-an assay last week yielding ut
the rate of $4,000 a ton. Six hundred
feet of land on the Boynton lode were
sold, recently, to a Springfield COM
pany for $3.50, 200.
"You may go on inventing washing
machines for the next fifty years, but TO
the average eye you can't patent any
thing equal to the sight of lady's dia-
mond rings flashing in and out of the
sparkling suds as she thumps wet towel
up and down the washboard."
George Smith, who worked by nights
in Troy car shop, when called upon to
elope with the wife Of his friend Ander-
son, first made arrangements with kis
employer that Anderson should be pro-
NOTED to the position he vacated. The
contract was fulfilled oil around.
The fish of Lake Erie, imprisoned by
ice, have been dying because they had,
too much water and not enough air.
Now, the fowl on Lake Huron are starv-
ing because they have too much air and
cannot get at the fish through the ice.
There seems to be predicament for the
fish in either case.
On All Fools Day some Hartford wag
sent letters to most of the members OF
the clerical profession, inviting them,
singly, to be present at the United States
Hotel to unite couple in marriage.
Not dreaming of trick. and not know
ing that others had been invited, each
clergyman who had received note went
to the hotel at the appointed hour, and
all found they had been made the victims
of practical joke. It is said that nine