The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-05

| ADOul li1c L guess L uDu
| think there is much difference"
"And you expect TO spend your able.
bodied years in the ministry" said Uncle
Marvin, with deliberation and emphasis.
- Do you have the church and vestry ven.
tilated as soon as the congregation is out
every time they are used? And do you
ever try to get a crack opened in the two
windows nearest the pulpit?'
"Well, yem," said Arthur laughing, 81
must plead guilty. l know the air is vii.
lainous bur am too much occupie to at
tend to such matters, and, besides, should
have the whole church down on me
They all cough the whole winter, and they
would not stand a draught as big as q
thread"
Cough? or course they cough" said
Uncle Marvin. "Did you ever know any
body to stand over charcoal furnace and
not cough? / tell YOU, there was more
carbOnic acid gas in that church to-day
when you were done preaching than you
could get out of a dozen charcoal fur
naees. Why nine out of ten went TO
sleep :"
"Oh but that was probably my fault, -
said Arthur, q ought to have preached
in livelier manner
You couldn't have done it to save
your life. Webster himself would have
been hopelessly stupid in such an air as
that"
"There, always said so, Arthur" said
|. I've told you again and again that
your sermons were twice as good in the
summer as in the winter. I've begged for
ventilation, Just as you did to-day, Jem, a
dozen times. but they always answer me
lust as they did you: well, it is little
warm here. Wen shut the register
never vet have been able TO make a man
of them understand the difference between
warm air and impure air."
"Imade one praiseworthy effort in that
direction said Arthur. "The first year
preached matters were pretty bad, and
one evening, it being stormy and nobody
coming to prayer meeting. | sat down be-
side the sexton and expounded to him the
law-the whole law which Nature has laid
down for our well-being in this matter.
He heard me respectfully, attenuvely, pa
tently, saying Just SOP Exactly! to
every proposition laid down; but he
didn't comprehend a syllable of it and he
never gave us a Whit more air for it,"
"Well. now, really, Arthur" said I'm
Gle Marvin, do you know that is just
where I've been blaming you. You have
more at stake than any body else, for you
must 90 and must speak every Sunday
three or four times, while the rest can stay
SWAY whenever cv like Ii is the bad
air that makes clergyman sore throat.
If | were YOU" he added. 4" should pre-
pare a careful lecture on fresh air and The
need of the lungs for it, and | should de-
liver 1t at least once year"
&" WOuldn't do a bit of good" said Ar
thur. 1.-The ignorance and indifference
of the average church-goer on this subject
is denser than a Newfoundland fog"
Uncle Marvin went with us TO prayer
meeting that evening. The congregation
on Sunday evenings is always larger than
in the morning; but, not being the dress
parade of the day, the vestry-low-ceIled
and numbered with the furnaces-has al
WAYS been considered the proper place
for the Sunday-evening prayer meeting.
To be sure, if pressed to render a reason
why the audience-roOm is needed for the
day service, and the vestry sufficient for
the larger evening gathering. | could not
give any which would stand the remorse-
lessness of logic. But usage is notably
stronger than argument, and it is useless
TO beat ones head against the stone wall
of custom.
Uncle Marvin and | went in early, leay-
ing Arthur to come in alone, as was his
custom. at the last. The room was pro-
foundly quiet and nearly empty when we
went in; but, as it began to fill rapidly,
il was not many minutes until the whole
space was packed. At last Arthur enter
ed and the door was closed. In five min
utes every cubic inch of air in the room
had been used to renovate some pair OF
! lungs and was ready TO be thrown away.
Just then weak sister began to cough.
! This was an Epidemic not to be resisted,
In minute more not a sound could be
| heard above the babel of coughing. Ar.
| thur stopped his reading and waited to be
/ heard. To us, conscious OF the real state
of the atmosphere, the scene was appall
/ ing. Uncle Marvin was in agony. Ar
thur, when his voice could be heard above
the din. requested that the windows 5t
! lowered little. While this was being
done, women drew up their shawls, mer
put on their overcOats, and old Deacon
! Waters tied his red silk handkerchief ovel
! his head. When the cool air began tC
stream in over our heads the coughing
was more violent than ever. One by one
thev were closed again by those sitting
near them, and we painted through the
hour of prayer and praise as best we could
Arthur watched the clock. Promptly
at the hour of eight he closed the meet
/ ing. He kept the letter of the law, but,
! think, transgressed the spirit of it by
about fifUy-five minutes.
| "Seems to me you closed the meetin
rather sudden, didn't you?" asked de-
vout and aSthmatic old brother.
There wasn't air enough in that vestry
! TO last us five minutes ~ said Arthur saw
agely. Uncle Marvin was in despair.
"Write the lecture, Arthur, and make
it as plain as A, B, G. Enlightenment il
what they need"
"Too old to learn, Jem; it is of no use
| Besides, I've a dozen other things tha
must he done and can't possibly be pu
off. Why, | bury at least one week o.
my parish during this month and April.
Dreadful" said Uncle Marvin, aghast
"What disease carries them off SOP"
Consumption, chiefly, but all the all
ing drop of at this season."
! Poisoned to death, | am sure. | shal
/ attack your doctor, and see if he cannO
/ give us a lecture on the subject"
"Ah! the doctors are buster than | am
a great deal. 1t is about time for tn,
spring influenza to set in, and then the!
haven't minute to call their own"
This is Just awful" said Uncle Marvin
~ never heard of the like. Puss, you cal
do it. They will listen to you like
book"
"Spring sewing takes more time thai
even curing and burying," said |, laugh
ing. 1--we no time"
" Well, declare, I'll write it myself,
said Uncle Marvin.
"Do. Jem." said L. "You can do it BET
terthan any of us. That is 'he very thing.
"Ive long thought q life of devotion Il
the good of ones fellow-men must be tn
NEST satisfactory in the world. l reall
have half a mind to try it, said Uncl
Marvin, musingly. 1t is time was SCI
Ting down, quite time" he added, after
pause.
- Yes, think it is. Jem," said Arthur
But where do you think of settling. Nc
in East Slowville, hope?"
Why not, pray?" asked Uncle Marvin
YOU'D never endure going to churc
in the world. You would become regU
lar heathen, for you would not 90
church, not even to hear me preach"
"Well, now. do you know think Eas
Slowville is just the pace for me, exactly
I'll have the floor knocked out of tha
church in less than two years; I'll put
down TO within two feet OF the vestr
floor, so as TO make the ceiling higher
I'll sink the furnaces into special receI