Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-02-26
MARK TWAIN AS A RIVER
PILOT.

| VAIN SiNVo All ftSSOuho VI HIS CHoi tS
when boy, to learn the art of pilot
ing the Mississippi river. The fol
lowing is history of his experieuc.
on the first trip up the river from
New Orleans to St. Louis:
What with lying on the rocks foul
days at Louisville, and some othel
delays, the poor old Paul Jones fooled
away about two weeks in making the
voyage from Cincinnati to New Or
leans. This gave me chance to ge,
acquainted with one of the pilots, an6
he taught me how to steer the boa
and thus made the fascination Of
river life more potent than ever fol
me.
The Paul Jones
was now bound for St. Louis. l plan
ned siege against my pilot, and a,
the end Of three days he surrendered
He agreed to teach me the Mississip
pi River from New Orleans to St
Louis for $500, payable out of the
first wages l should receive after
graduating. Ientered upon the small
enterprise of ''learning" twelve OF
thirteen hundred miles of the grea,
Mississippi River with the easy con
tidence of my time of life. If l had
really known what was about to re
quire of my faculties l should no,
have had the courage to begin. ]
supposed that all pilot had to dc
was to keep the boat in the river, and
l did not consider that that could be
much of a trick, since it was SC
wide.
The boat backed out from New
Orleans at four in the afternoon, and
it was "our watch" until eight. Mr.
B, my chief, Strengthened her
up" plowed her along past the sterns
Of the other boats that lay at the le-
wee and then said: "iere, take her;
shave those steam ships as close as
you'd peel an apple" took the
wheel and my heart went down into
my boots, for it seemed to me we
were about to scrape the side off ev-
cry ship in the line, they were so
close. l held my breath and began
to claw the boat away from the dan
ger, and l had my own opinion of
the pilot who had known no better
than to get us into such peril, but l
was too wise to express it. In half a
minute l had a wide margin of safety
intervening between the Paul Jones
and the ships, and within ten seconds
more l was set aside in disgrace, and
Mr.. B was going into danger
again, and tlaylng me alive with
abuse Of my cowardice. Twas stung,
but was obliged to admire the easy
confidence with which my chief loaf:
ed from side to side of his wheel, and
trimmed the ships so closely that dis
aster seemed ceaselessly imminent
When he had cooled little he told
me that the easy water was close
ashore and the current outside, and
therefore we must hug the bank, up
stream, to get the benefit Of the form
er, and stay we'll out, down stream,
to take advantage Of the latter. In
my own mind resolved to be down
stream pilot, and leave the up steam
ing to people who were dead to pru-
dence.
Now and then Mr.. B. called
my attention to certain things. Said
he, "This is Six-Mile Point" l as
sented. 1t was pleasant enough in
formation, but | could not see the
bearing Of it. | was not conscious
that it was matter of any interest
to me. Another time he said: "This
is Nine Mile Point" Later he said:
''This is Twelve-Mile Point" They
were all about level with the waters
edge; they all looked about alike to
me; they were monotonously unpic-
turcsque. l hoped Mr.. B would
change the subject. But no; he
would crowd up around point, hug
ging the shore with affection, and
then say: "The slack water ends here,
abreast this bunch Of China trees;
now we cross over" SO he crossed
over. He gave me the wheel once or
twice, but l had no luck. l either
came near chipping off the edge of a
sugar plantation, or else yawed too
far from shore, and SO | dropped
back into disgrace again and got
abused.
The watch was ended at last, and
we took supper and went to bed. AT
midnight, the glare of a lantern shone
in my eyes, and the night watchman
said:
"COme; turn out!
And he left. / could not under
stand this extraordinary procedure;
so I presently gave up trying to, and
dosed off to sleep. Pretty soon the
watchman was back again, and this
time he was gruff. l was annoyed.
| said:
"What do you want to come both.
ering around in the middle of the
night tor? Now as like as not I'll
not get to sleep again tonight"
The watchman said:
"Well, if this amt good 'un, I'm
blest."
The "off-watch" was turning in
and heard some brutal laughter
from them, and such remarks AS:
"Hello, watchman! amt the new
cub turned out yet? He's delicate
likely. Give him some sugar in q
rag, and send for the chambermaid
to sing rock-a-bye-baby to soothe
him."
About this time Mr.. B appear
ed upon the scene. Something like
minute later l was climbing the pi
dollhouse steps, with some of my
clothes on and the rest in my arms
Mr.. B was close behind, com
menting. Here was something fresh
this getting up in the middle of The
mig hit to go to work. 1t was detail
in plotting that had never occurred
to me at all. l knew that boats raI
all night, but somehow l had never
happened to reflect that somebody
had to get up out of a warm bed te
run them. began to fear that pilot
ing was not quite so romantic as
had imagined it was; there wa'
something very real and work-likt
about this new phase of it.