Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1875-10-14
WOBDS OF COMFORT.
Mr. SOper's Way Of Cheering up his Wife.
IEro1n the Alleoharu lPe1nSzl1aniaA Nail

VOnDS Ut ~OME
MIR. Soper's Way Of Cheering up his Wife.
From the Allegheny Pennsylvania) lail]
Mr.. Sopers wife has been sick for some
weeks; but, although extremely reduced in
body and mind, there is still enough OF the
true woman remaining in her, which led her
last Monday, in faint whisper, to ask her
husband, who had entered the sick room with
funeral cast of features.
'.Well," answered Mr.. Soper, sitting un-
easily down on the extreme edge Of q chair,
and balancing his hat on his fingers by the
brim, ''there amt nothing to speak of in
p'ticker. S'pose you heard of Miss Coles
death. She was taken the same time you
was"
Il should think, James, said Mrs. Soper,
find somethin' more cheerful to say to your
poor, sick wife, you'd hold your tongue"
"Cert' N.Y." said Mr. Soper, meekly, ''only
news is so sca'ce Lemme see, he continued,
looking thoughtfully into the crown Of his
hat, as if he had reserved fund of gossip
therein; ''you heard bout Mathy Carter's
breakin' her leg.
A snappish nod of the head from the in
valid signifed to Mr.. Soper that he was on
dangerous ground; ''but aftera moments re-
Election, he frightened up visibly as he said:
'You orter be to town meetin' Mond'y.
The towns voted to have new hearse, an
was never SO glad of an'thing in all my
life
''James Edward Soper," whispered his
wife, with painful intensity, ''be you
na'tral born fool, or be you a lookin' forred
to gettin rid of me?"
AS the latter's view had never presented it.
self to MIR. Soper in the light of his wife's in
quiry, he looked very much subdued, and
scratched his head with an air of painful ab-
straction as Mrs. Soper said again with tear
full voice:
"Oh, you en- go. If you can't spare few
moments to set with me, an jes give me
to stay agin your inclination, she continued
with the sigh of a martyr.
Mr.. Soper hastily expressed his willingness
to remain and desire to please; so, after a
brief interval of thought, he continued re-
flectively:
''Wall, lemme think, | was over to the
widder Stacys las night to see f couldn't
make trade for a Jersey heffer, an / tell
you, M ria, said Mr.. Soper, enthusiastically,
eff she amt harnsum critter l never see
one."
An omnous light appeared in Mrs. Soper's
sunken eyes, and if her husband had been
observing closely he would have seen rest
less motion of the hands, indicative of an ap-
parent desire to make a personal attack upon
some one or something, but he saw nothing
and continued:
''Shes just about the right size, an her
skin as white as snow. She's got the pootiest
legs" continued the unrefective Mr.. Soper,
with descriptive motion of the hand; ''an'
when you come to talk about shape-wby,
Mira, }" said Mr.. Soper, rising from his chair
in his warmth, ''shell measure two feet
across her breast-'
The scream which came from the afflicted
invalid at this juncture was of such piercing
shrillness that MIR. Soper placed his fingers in
his ears, and Mrs. Soper's mamma, who was
in the next room, appeared on the scene in
the twinkling of an eye.
''Oh, you awful brute!' she exclaimed, as
she bathed her daughters brow with hair-oil in
mistake for camphor, while the wretched
was only telling Mrs Soper about Jersey
heifer that he was going to buy
''There, ma," said Mrs Soper, with gasp,
'lm better now"
''You had better leave the room," said the
matron, with world of significant wrath in
her eye, and the unfortunate Soper departed,
muttering, as he slammed the door behind
him, that he'd be moster in his own house
some day; but he hasn't been yet, for Mrs.
Soper has recovered, and her mother has
taken up permanent residence with them.
To this day they don't speak to the widow
Stacy, and Mr.. Soper' reiterated explanation
has always been received in digniied and in
credulous silence.
Trouble Between President Monroe and