Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1875-07-25
About Eee-CrRaul .

! Tue following funny incidents, toll,
by the Detroit Free Press, might as vel
have happened in Memphis as else
where:
He slipped into an icre-cresm saloon
very softly, and when the girl asked hin
what he wanted, he replied:
Corn-beef, fried potatoes, pickles ant
mince-pie."
"This is not q restaurant; this is al
ice-cream parlOr," she said.
"Then what did you ask me what
wanted for? Why uidn't you bring OF
your ice-cream?"
She went after it, and as she returned
he continued:
"You see, my dear girl, you must infel
you must reason. 1t isn't likely tina
! would come into an ice-cream parlol
to buy grindstone, is il? You did moi
think came in here to ask if you had
any baied hay, did you?"
She looked at him id great surprise,
and he went on:
"If owned hardware store and you
came in, would infer that you came
for something in my line. l wouldn't
step out and ask you if you wanted to
buy mule, would I?'
She went away highly indignant. An
old lady was devOuIng a dish OF cream
at the next table, and the stranger, after
watching her for moment, called out
"My dear woman, have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dishm
"MercyI nOW she exclaimed, az she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
"Well, Pm glad of it." he continued.
off you find any just let me know"
She looked at him FOR half a minute,
picked up the spoon, laid it down again,
and then rose up and left the room. She
must have said something to the pro.
prietor, for he came running il and ex-
claimed:
"Did you tell that woman there were
hairs and buttons in my ice.cream?"
"No, siTn
"You didn't?"
"No, sir, 1 did not; 1 merely requested
her, in case she found any such ingredi.
ents, to infrom me-"
"Well, cir, that was a mean trick"
"My dear sir" said the stranger,
smiling softly, "did you expect me to
ask the woman if she had found a crow
bar or a sledge-hammer in her cream ?
1t is impossible, sir, for such articles to
be hidden Rway in such small dishes"
The proprietor went away growing,
and as the stranger quietly slipped away
at his cream two young ladies came in,
sat down near him, and ordered cream
and cake. He waited until they had
eaten little, and then remarked:
"Beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste of
this creamN
They tasted, smacked their lips, snd
were not certain,
HDoes it taste to you as if plug OF
tobecc1 had fallen into the freezer" he
asked.
"Ahl kah ~ they exclaimed, dropping
their spoons and trying TO spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and
it wasn't long before the proprietor
rushed in.
"See here, what in bIazes are you
talking about?" he demanded. "What
do you mean by plug of tobacco in the
freezeT?n
"My kind friend, 1 asked the ladies if
this cream tasted of plug tobacco. l
don't taste any such taste, and don't
believe you used bit OF tobacco in it.n
"Well, you don't want to talk that
way around here" continued the pro-
prietor. my ice-cream is pure, and the
man who says it isn't, tells bold lie."
He went away again, and a woman
with a long neck and a sad face sat
down, and said to the girl that she
would take a small dish Of lemon ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken
about two mOuthsful when the stranger
inquired:
'EXcuse me, madam, but do you
know how this cream was made-have
you an idea that they grated turnip and
chalk with the cream?n
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up,
around, and made for the door.
The stranger followed after, and byigreat
good luck his cost-tails cleared the door
an instant too soon to be struck by
box of figs, hurled with great
force by the Indignant proprietor. As
be reached the curbstOne he halted,
and soliloquized:
"There are times when people should
infer, and there are times when they
shouldn't. l suppose if 1 had asked that
woman if she thought they hashed up
ssw-mill in the cream, she'd have felt
circular saw going down her throat"
-SS~