Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-11-19
MULTUM In PARV0.

A REGULAR beat-The heartbeat; still,
the heart is never "dead- beat"
1T is not so much trouble for man to
get rich as it is to tell when he's got rich.
A STOCK man at Austin, Tex, is raising
camels, and has sold lot of young ones
for $3.50 each.
WHY is prosy preacher like the mid
die of a wheel? Because the fellows
round him are tired
AFTER marriage woman gets broader
views and broader pronunciation. First
it's "coddle," " then it's "caudle.''
If the names of the States were all of
the same length an important source of
political pleasure would be wanting. 1t
would be impossible to construct "pyra-
mids. "-Detr0st Free Press.
THE explosion of kerosene lamp set
fire to the house of T. Mack, in Toledo,
Ohio. His little daughter in bed had her
clothing set on fire, and before the flames
could be extinguished was fatally burned.
I" IT'S burning shame that he didn't
cut any kindling," she muttered to herself
as she took up the kerosene can to start
the fire, and "a burning shame" was
what they chiseled on the tombstone
StOOu OFCI uCI
THE Glasgow Times would appear to
have figured out the thing pretty accu-
rately when it remarks: THE man who
is curious to see how the world could get
along without him can find out by stick
ing a cambria needle into mill -pond, and
then Withdrawing it and looking at the
hole"
THE latest instructions published on the
subject of table etiquette'' contain an
admonition to "see that those about you
are helped before you commence eating
yourself" The theory is probably that
after you commence eating Yourself you
will be unable to see that others are helped.
Detroit Tribune.
HERE is a warning for men too mean to
advertise: One of this description wanted
to sell some land, and so he put a written
notice in one of the hotels the other day.
A man who was inquiring for small
farm was referred to the written notice,
when he replied: {" L can't buy land at
fair price of any man who does his advertis-
ing in this way. He'd steal the fence, the
pump handle, and the barn-doors before
he'd give up possession"
A YOUTH was rushing around the
corner saying: +" All want in this world
is to lay my hands on himr' He present
ly came upon boy weighing about ten
pounds more than himself, and rushing
at him he exclaimed: Did you lick my
brother Ben?'' " Yes, did," said the
boy, dropping his bundle and splitting on
his hands. WE'LL" continued the other
lad, backing slowly away, che needs
lickin' once week to teach him to be
civilp'
A FAMILY living On Cass avenue found a
good thickness of cream on some milk
that had been standing over night, and
when the milkman made his usual call
the pleased housewife exhibited the cream
and said: 81 never expected to see this"
The man looked at the cream, winked
wisely and solemnly, scratched his head
and replied: "Well, don't know what
ails it, but you can throw it out and I'll
give you fresh pint in its place!"-De-
troit Free Press
THE other day Vicksburg negro was
drawing big dog around the street by a
strap, and a citizen inquired: Is that
your dog % "Yes, sah.'' I" Do you want
to sell him?" Yes, sab, / want to sell
my sheer OBJ him. Your share? How's
that?" "Why, dis dog am divided into
eighteen sheers. De shareholders am
little down in the mouf on count CD Gle
hard times, an lie depumtized to sell the
kaynine for the sum OBJ two dollars. -
Vscks6urg Herald.