The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1875-03-11
DRIFTING SENTENCES.

Earmers insist that Mrs. IlItOn0
remark Of "so-so" was an acknowl-
dgemcnt that Beecher was ssboss."
Soliloquy Of Chicago coal dealer,
Thermometer ten degrees below re-
70. Now will put coal up 6fty cents
more. God help the poor.'
The last book is entitled; .Only
Woman." II that's all there's no use
Of an excitement, as the last census
shows over fourteen million Of 'em.
George, dear, don't you think it
is rather exuavagant of you to eat
butter witt, that delicious ja.. % No,
love-economicar Same piece Of bread
does for BOTH
Rochester Chronicle: I'VE ask
nothing unreasonable" gently re-
marks Sister Of Charity. "Give US
fourteen wards OF that Ulster over
coat. You will never miss it, and it
will clothe dozen or more of our
poor children"
John Morrisey having opened q
fashionable gambling hell al Jackson
vile, florida, the local paper closes
its eulogy with The remark that ''such
men give tone and yigor to the local
ity in which ,hey reside"
"Yes, hovs," said Nancy Bell, a
female blacksmith OF Iowa, as she
s,raddted a horses leg and yanked
off shoe, Il was brought up 10 this
business and 50 was my mother, and
there ain'l been no B echer scand ais
i, our family, tor fact.
Milwaukee Meas: The ci'iz rs of
Bngtown. Nebraska, visited on he
edit of the weekly Herald aud told
them that they wouldn't ,shaye no
more sermons in 'h,t paper, nohow,
VIII le the Brecher trial Vas humping
aloag so kinder lively like"
Some hing must be done with Sun.
dav. This year it knocks st. Valrn-
lines day out of time, came within a
lew hours Of spoiling Washington's
birthday, and will land right in the
middle OF Fourth Of July.
Sentiment is nothing but sentiment.
An tx army Captain in Colorado,
when dying, asked the BOYS to wrap
the old flag around him. They had
40 flag and SO they wrapped him in
coffee sack, and he exclai ned: "Ah,
may yoa all die as proudly"
The FL Paso journal SAYS: '.There
is we'll in Bloomington contiguous
to three cottages, and in those cot
tages live three married men, all Of
whom filled their kettles from this
well. Recently the spouses of these
three presented their lords with
twins, and now they think Of bot
,ling the water of the well and sell
ing it
\ man who won't complain, says
the Milwaukee Sentinel when his
wife crawls out about midn ght and
takes the heaviest comforter off the
bed to wrap around her plants, is
lacking in al! The noble gaali,ies of
free agent
\ youngster, while warming his
hands over the kitchen fire, was re-
mons,rated with hy his father, who
said, go way from the stove; the
weather is not cold.' The little fel.
low, looking up at his stern parent
demurely,replied, Il amt hea ing The
weather, I'm warming my hands"
"There," said Detroit father to
his son, "there are two cents. Start a
savings bank with it to-day, and I'll
give YOU another two cents, to-mor-
row." The boy handled his money
while, and his eountenance was IL
Illuminated by a swee, smile as he re-
piled: Il guess I'll buy gum with
this two cents, aud star the bank on
the two cents tomorrow.
When Mrs Gerkes, Of Detroit, says
she will do this or that, she means
what she says. Sac old Gerkes the
oAiiii idN ttini IA IC tiiol b1IiiG att
new dress at noon, she would go up
town aud run him il debt fify dol
lars. The dress d,jn', come. aud she
went up town, tsampcd around for
three hours, and was Iold by thirty
eight different men thar they would
not trust Gerkes for bah h-hrick.
In the Rondolt Meth ,di>t Caurch.
on recen, Sun lay morning, the usu-
al donning of overco IS Was proceed
ing, anil considerable c,nfusinn. hut
hai not been completed ~he the p,s-
tor, Rev. J J D-an. ar, Sc TO pr
noun'e the benedicton. II. pau>, d
NON mt and said: "Brethren, l
guess ! will put on my overc a here
after during the benediction, SO rs
not to lose any time.