The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-08-21
BUDGET OF FUN.
'Bijal's Court.

'Dijah's Court.
as your name Washington Harris 2" en-.
CURED the court of an African who sku!ked
out Of the corridor.
IL specs it ar
81 don't want any lodging around the
wood.pile, sr-is that your name!'
st ar, boss" .,
"And YOU were drunk on Harriet street,
II denies it, sab
"Verv well, come up here, mister olncer,
and take the oath, and give us the DIG iac's
and little facts in this case
II seemed to be plain case, as the o1hcer
had two witnesses, and the court continued
"Mr Harris am ms certain Una! you were
drunk az am that cod liver oil will kill the
man who Takes /, as Il diet Have you any
thing to saw why shouldn't esconceyou from
the public gaze?'
Eyes, sahr
wen. sab, in dc fust place, was in Tole.
do"
go on"
an de next place, l wasn't de individual"
H. "Go on"
"In de next place, if ar sent to dat house
of correction, I'll kick down de partitions
and unhinge de big front gate and clean out
de whole house
"Mr. Harris I've no time TO talk with you
and can but briefly announce that you are
chalked for three months and If you even
look cross.eyed at me I'll change the figures
to six"
"Oh, now, don't commence weeping the
first thing" entreated the court, as Catherine
Morris came out and buried her face in her
handkerchief.
"I'm so sorry, sr!' she sobbed.
eyes, so am l; how was it, Catherine"
"You see sir, I'd been washing wlndys on
uo,,or1 otraat and 7 tool, fOur swallows OF
wine to prevent me getting the rheumatism;
1t overcame the nervous system, and Tell
into fit"
"Well, you haven't been here before, and
if l could secure your promise that you
would take rheumatism in preference TO wine
after this. I'd let you 60"
Indeed, I'll promise"
"You mean this"
81 mean every blessed word of it,"
"You NAV 90. You have children to sup
port, rent to pay, and don't want to add to
your burdens, though you mustn't let this
happen again. Law to-day may resemble
fat rawberry-tomOrrOw 1t may bristle like
a fresh-picked pineapple. The more wine
YOU don't drink The better for you
"Whats this boy doing here-this inno-
cent locking, white-haired boy?" asked his
= honor. Ion s.,,, oxn,.,,oo Ria,
"My son, is this true"
~ never said word-the other boys got
up the fight" walled the boy.
II do not know what l can do with you.
We keep cross. cut saw here to saw boys in
two, but it IS Saturday morning and don
want to muss up the station-house sup
pose We"
1.-THE boys lied on met" exclaimed the boy,
trembling all over
sThey did, eh? No, boy, tell me the sol
emn truth-d:d you have hold of either dog"'
"No, sir-you may kill me if didn'
"Did you say sckem?'
mo, sr-no!'
"Didn't YOU bet five marbles against three
awbreakers that the red dog would VIM
"No-no!'
"Well, boy, this is serious case, but am
going to overlook it. think you have told
the truth, but you had no business there. In
the distant future you want to remember that
it is four times better to pull weeds IN the
garden than to attend dog fight"
II will, sir"
"And remember to keep truth in your hand
kerchief pocket all through life. One ounce
of truth is worth more in the wholesale mar
ket than forty tons of hes"
ayes, sir"
"NOw you can CO."
The boy reached the door to encounter the
band who marched him off singing:
Oh, bury Bartholomew out in the woods,
In a beautiful hole in the ground
Where the bumble-be buzz and the woodpeck-
ers sit,
And the straddle- bugs tumble around;
d So that in winter, when the snow and the slush
Has covered his little bed,
His brother Artemus can 90 out with Jane,
And visit the place with his sled.
Detroit Free Press.