Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1875-04-17

Fgmag-a Hsfsi.,g 10 Lazy H'sbGHds.
Tal;cs who have husbands who are neglect
lal in sapplyiu, them with kiudlinss should
c,rsfslly study tbe experiment Of Division
stree, sister. Al her married life she has hal
an unbroseu struggle with her husband to
keep herself supplied with wool, and the
greater part Of the time She has been obliged
20 depend upon her own deituess with The axe,
and any one who has seen a woman handle an
axe knows wha, dreadful thing it is. Two
months ago she begged him not to 60 away
without leaving her some kiudhOgs. lie said
ne wouldn't. But he finally did, Then she
biz upon plan. she bad four dozen clothes
pins. She took Que dozen Of them for start
ing the FIRE. aad found that they worked ad-
mirably. The next day she usci another
dozen. and so she continued until the four
dozen were gone. Thea she went to the store
and purchased another four dozen-haying
them put in the BILL" When they were
gone she repeated the Grand She said no
more to him about kinllings. For ten years
she had KEEP, up the battle, aud now she was
tired and sick at heart. lie could 60 bis own
way, and she could go her's--pAtieOtly, un-
complaioiogly-uutil the end would come.
Gu Monday he SIGHTED at the store that he
would like to settle bis account. The bill
was made out and handed him. lie glanced
down the items. As be advanced along the
colunu his face began TO work. First his
eyes slowly enlarged, then bis mouth gradual
u opened caused by the dropping Of his lower
Jaw, aud wrinkles formed on his forehead. One
third down the column he formed his lips as
if to whistle Four lines below he did whis-
lie. Half way down be said;
"Gracious
A little further on be said
Thunder
-Four more lines were taken in, and he
spoke again;
by the Jumping Jupiter "
Then he read on, shifting bis thigh viso-
rously, and giving vent to various expressions
Of the liyelics, nature. Finally he threw the
bin down.
q say, Benson, look here, this bill can,
be mine; you've 60, me mixed up With some
laundry"
That's your bill, sir" said the grocer,
smiling pleasantly.
q tell you il can't be- persisted the Di-
vision street man, beginning to look scared.
Why, here's fty-fve dozen elothes-pins in
two months bill. What on earth do you
take rue fora four-story laundry?"
"But it is your bill. Your wife can ex-
plain il to you. She ordered the pins"
d" Ny wife :" sasPet the unfortunate man.
Yes. sir"
The debtor clatchsd the bill, jammed i. in
10 bis pocket, aud hurried straight home. He
bolted into the house without any abatement
Of speed. and ainging the paper on the
table before his wife, Knocked bis hat on the
back part Of bis head, and said
Martha Ann johnson, what does this
mean ?" There are ffty-6ve dozen clothes
pins in Benson's bill for the past two mouths,
and he says you ordered every blessed one Of
them"
And so did" said she denurely.
What Fifty-6ve dozen clothes pins 10
two mouths - and he sho, down into a chair
as a freight car had fallen atop Of him.
Fifiy-6ve dozen clothes pins IN two months. p"
he howled. "will Just heaven stand tha,?'
Il tell you. YOU needn't stare at me in that
way, Reuben Wheeler johnson. nor 60 calling
into heaven with your impiousness. ordert
Cd them clothes pins myself, and have burn
every one Of EN- in that there stove, just be-
cause You we're too ALFRED lazy to get stick
of wood. Aud I'll declare. before III be
bothered ilviug aud fighting to get you TO cut
wood. III burn up every clothes pin in the
llud. aud You shall pay for them, if you have
TO sell the shir; Of your back to do it. So
now 2"
and Mrs. johnson. with a face like scarlet,
s1atched up the broom, and went 70 sweeping
the carpet as if every fake Of dus, was a
red bot coal, while the unhappy Mr.. johnson
fastened to the store and paid the bill. Aud
LsiOre dark that night he had half cord Of
wood sawed splt and piled IN ready for use