Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-10-01

must be older than Sarah, and yet she
dresses as if she was a mere child
Did you see how the widow MarcEali
was trucked out p interrupted Emmellne.
She was as gay as peacock. Mercy'
what airs that woman puts on L would
like TO have asked her when she is going to
bring back that pan of four And En-
incline Uttered maliciously.
,.She's shining a.a nd old McMasters,
they saw mentioned Amelia.
odd McMasters = calculated Mrs, Coon
ton. why he is old enough to be bis
father.'
what difference do you suppose that
makes to her p suggested Emmeline.
But pity him if he gets her. She's
perfect wild cat
Say EN-, who was that gentleman with
Ellen Byxby p inquired Amelia.
That's so,' chimed in Sarah, with spirit
who was be p
what gentleman p asked Mrs. Coon
ton.
nls
plainod Emmeline. They came in dur
ing the prayer. BE was tall fellow, with
light hair, and chin whiskers.'
1t couldn't have been her cousin John,
from BrooklyB,' suggested Mrs. Coonton.
Bother, no. said Sarah pettishly. He
is short: and has brown hair. This gen.
tleman is stranger here. Iwonder where
she picked him up?'
She seemed to keep mighty close TO him, }
said Amelia; but she needn't be scared.
He looks as soft as squash. Did you see
him tambing up his hair with his fingers !?
l wonGer what that big ring cost-two
cents p and the speaker Uttered.
She's got one of them Victoria hats, l
see,' said Emmelipe. III had drunken
father I'D keep in doors, think, and not
be paradiug myself in public.
Just then there was a motion on the
lounge, and the ladies began to take of
their things.
Hello, folks said MIR. Coonton, rising
an, and rubhirs-his- ewes. .is church
out 2
Yes said Mrs. Coonton, with a yawn
which communicated itself to her daugh-
Lers.
Did you have good sermon p
Pretty good,' accompanied by another
yawn all around.
See many good clothes p was the next
query.
'Isuppose you think, Mr.. Coonton, that
that is all your wife and daughters go to
church for, to look at peoples clothes,
said Mrs. Coonton, tartly.
That's just like pa said Emmeline,
with a toss of her head. He is always
surring church people,
Pa sloped TO bed. -Ddnbury NeicS.
\ DUTcH VICroRY.-A crowd ofyoung
chaps about town were in one of the popular
beer saloons yesterday. where they met
Jolly old German, who often gets thorough,
ly soaked in beer and maudlin funny.
Hello, Kalierlicher, have you heard the
news = said one.
'Nein vas ish das y
The water Works are bursted ]
Vel, dots bad nit dem temperance
beeples. don't id. poys? Laughter al
round.
Yes, and the rolling mills gone up!
said another of the boys.
Vel, chust don't got skeered about that
it's so heffy dot it COON don again, eh
A grand peal of laughter.
'And-and--the ice machine has explo
ded y cried third.
'Ish dot bin possible ? Den dots bad
midout some mistake, and id don't rail-
midout ii pours-de vasser oud-de rollIni
mill oud-no more iZe-unt all you youp
shackasses broke oud Of de shtable lot
Dot makes me gryl'
And nobody thought It necessary t
laugh.-AtldntG Constitution
WINNING WAYs.--A good story is tol
on Judge George Miller, of Jefferson City
which, we believe, has never appeared j
print. The Judge is very successful pol
tician, and at one time knew every voter i
in his district. Time, however, has fade
the Judges memory little, although b
will not admit it. He shakes hands wit
and pretends to know everybody.
He was holding court in Miller county
short time ago, and was approached by
long, lubberly specimen of the Usage hill
who held out his paw Hnd said:
How dye do, Judge; you cont kno
arc, 40 you y
oh, yes, said the Judge. How is got
father?'
Osager-'Oh, she's been dead elev'
years.
Judge-'Sure enough but how is yo
mother p
Osager-'Why she's been dead eighte
years =
Judge-'Well, how the devel are yor
You amt dead, i know =
This brought down the crowd, viii
soon adjourned to the nearest grocery,
drink to the live mans health.-Sedd
BdzOo.
How 1T MIGHT HAVE BEEN.-T
Atlanta Constitution prints the followin
If his head had been terrestrial globe
was scratching it right where Kamtschat
would have been marked off, and asked
this:
Boss, .jis calkerlate eff you was walk
long and feller was to drop brick OF
yer he'd an squash in one side of it tell
looked like TIN lie can dat a mule b
kicked, what 'ud yer do bout it p
We said we'd make the man who drC
ped the brick think he had been run trou
saw mill, and asked:
Did anybody hit you with brick, af
that fashion p
No, sab But yer see, boss, was
maxim calkerlashun agin dat hotel n
ger what's a running around wild dat
what Use been sottin' up to. OATS
sah'
A nd NOW tra;ra waifin0 tO hpar pf so