Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1875-09-23
BILL AND THE WIDOW.


ing, as be sat stirring his coffee wit
one hand and holding plum cake o.
his knee with the other, and looket
across the table into the bright eyes G
his little wife, "wouldn't it be goot
joke to get bachelor Bill Smiley to tax
widow Watson to Barnum's show mex
week ?''
"You can't do it, Ed; he won't asl
her, he's so awful shy. Why, he came
by here the other morning when l wa
hanging out the clothes, and he looked
over the fence and spoke, but when
shook out night gown he blusheC
| like girl and went away"
II think L can manage it," said Ed
"but I'll have to lie just little. Bu
| then it wouldn't be much harm under
the circumstances, for know she like;
him, and he don't dislike her, but JUS
as you say, he's so shy. Pll just go oveI
to his place to borrow some bags Of him
and if | don't bag him before I come
/ back, don't kiss me for week, Nelly
! So saying, Ed. started, and while he
is moving the field, we will take g
look at Bill Smiley. He was rather g
good looking fellow, though his hail
and whiskers showed some gray hairs
and he had got in set of false teetn
But every one said he was good soul,
| and so he was. He had as good d
hundred acre farm as any in Norwich,
with new house and everything COM
Portable, and if he wanted wife, many
girl would have jumped at the chance
like rooster on grasshopper. But
Bill was so baShful-always was-and
| when Susan Berrybottle, whom he was
so, sweet on, though he never said
"boo" to her, got married to old Wat
son, he just drew in his head like mud
turtle into his shell, and there was no
getting him out again, though he had
been noticed since Susan had become a
widow he paid more attention to his
clothes, and had been very regular in
his attendance at the church the fair
widow attended.
But here comes Ed. Wilburn.
Good morning, Mr.. Smiley"
GOOD morning, Mr.. Wilburn
what's the news your way?'
''Oh, nothing particular that know
Of" said Ed. "only Barnum's show
that everybody and his girl are going
to. was over to old StOckrider's last
night, and see his son Guss has got a
new buggy, and was scrubbing up his
harness, and he's got that white-face
colt OF his slick as seal. 1 understand
he thinks of taking Widow Watson to
the show. He's been hanging around
there a good deal Of late, but I'd just
like to cut him out, would. Susan is
nice little woman, and deserves a
better man than that young pup of a
fellow, though 1 would not blame her
much either if she takes him, for she
must be dreadful lonesome, and then
she has to let her farm out on shares :;
and it isn't half worked, and no one
else seems to have the spunk to speak
up to her. By jingo! if were a single
man I'd show you trick or two"
So saying, Ed. borrowed some bags
and started around the corner of the
barn, where he had left Bill sweeping,
and put his ear to knothole and list
ened, knowing the bachelor had habit
OF talking to himself when anything
worried him.
"COnfound that young Stockrider ~
said Bill, "what business has he there
Pd like to know? Got anew buggy,
has he? Well, so have l, and a new
harness too; and his horse can't get in
sight of mine; and declare, I've half
a mind to-yes will I'll 60 this very
night and ask her to go to the show
with me. I'll show Ed. Wilburn that
| amt such calf as he thinks am, if
L did let old Watson get the start of me
in the first place."
Ed. could scarce help laughing out
right, but he hastily hitched the bags
on his shoulder, and with low chackle
at his success started home to tell the
news to Nelly; and about five O'Clock
that evening they saw Bill go by with
his buggy on his way to the widows.
He logged along quietly, thinking Of
the old singing school days-and what
a pretty girl Susan was then and Won
dering inwardly if he would have more
courage now to speak up to her, until
at distance of about mile from her
house he came to bridge-over large
creek-and it so happened that Just as
he reached the middle of the bridge, he
gave tremendous sneeze, and blew
his teeth out of his mouth, and clear
over the dash board, and striking on
the planks they rolled over the side of
the bridge and dropped into four feet
of water.
Words cannot do justice to poor Bill
or paint the expression of his face as
he sat there-completely dumbfounded
at his startling piece of i'll luck. After
while he stepped out OF his buggy,
and getting down on his hands and
knees, looked over into the water
"Yes, there they were," at the bottom
with a crowd of little fishes rubbing
their noses against them, and Bill
wished to goodness that his nose was
SIS close for one second. His beautiful
teeth that had cost so much, and the
show coming on and no time to get an
other set-and the widow and young
StOckrider. Well, he must try and get
them sOmehOw-and no time to be lost,
for some one might come along and
ask him what he was fooling around
there for. He had no notion of spoil
ing his coed clothes by wading in with
them on, and besides if he did he could
not go to the widows that night, so he
took look up and down the road to
see that no one was in sight, and then
quickly undressing himself, laid his
clothes i'm the buggy to keep them
clean. Then he ran around the bank
fthu WcOCu lAkO IHO ICY CUlu
water, but his teeth did not chatter in
his head-he only wished they could.
Quietly he waded along so as not to
stir up the mud, and when he got to
the right spot he dropped under the
water and came up with his teeth In
hand, and replaced them in his mouth.
But hark! What noise is that? A
wagon and little dog barking with all
his might, and his horse is starting.-l
whoa! whoa! Stop, you brute you,
stopn But stop he would not, bat
went off at a spanking pace with the
bachelor after him and the |
little dog yelping after him. Bill was
in capital running costume,
but though he strained every nerve he
could not touch the buggy or reach the
line. that were dragging on the ground.
After a while his plug hat shook of
the seat and the hind wheel went over |