The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-03-12
SAYINGS AND DOINGS.
MAHOTI.

b Fluttering all over the ground.
Hang out your hags birch and willow
Shake out your red tassels, larch
Grass-blades up from your earth-pillow
Hear who is calling you-MTeh!
I "GooD many children !" echoed
$ Missouri farmer as traveller counte'
up fourteen; 81 just wish you'd come
up to the graveyard with me =
A Missouri woman who applied 70
, a situation as car driver, being asked 4
she could manage mulrs, scornfully re
piled "Of course / alu, I've had two
husbands"
"MY lecture" said a California or
ator, "will be brief" A turnip hit
him on the "divide" at that instant,
and he announced: "The meeting
stands adiournell"
WE are still long way from the
millennium. 4 witness in an Ohio court
has Just sworn that he "never knew a
miller on the canal who wouldn't steal
water whenever he got n chance"
DoN'T tell us any more about the
good women Of old. An observer who
wrote hundreds of years ago said /:
woman is n necessary evil, natural
temptation, a desirable calamity, do
mestic peril, deadly fasc nation and a
painted i'll"
"I SEE very little Of you," said an
| old gentleman at a Louisville ball 30 "a
young lady whom he had not met in a
! long time before. "T know IT,, was
the artless reply, "but mother wouldn't
| allow me 10 wear a very lOw.neck dress
TO night, the weather is 50 cold"
CoRsETs have been the destruction of
art. There are no good models now-a-
days, says the sculptors. When Powers
made his Greek Slave he worked Il out
of sixteen different models, and then he
had to go back TO tho antique for his
bust.
Ar Mons, in Belgium. they had n
scene IN court that would have made n
Montana mau feel at home. The prose-
cutting attorney insullcd the accused,
whereupon the gccusCr drew revolver
and pointed the muzgle toward the at
torney-who left. He then pointed II
in deliberate succession toward all the
other functionaries of lustice--and they
all left. Then the accused lett, and
they have not seen him since.
SEVENTEEN years ago q Louisville
woman was told by n claiIvoyant that
she was destined To- marry an auburn
haired young man with blue eyes and
heavy moustache that he would soon
be rich, and that they should have two
children boy and a girl. She did
marry the auburn-haired man. They
have five children now, the auburn hair
has disappeared from the husbands
head, and he is getting fifteen dollars
week.
HAVING attempted 60 hang himself,
but having been prcmaturaly cut down,
a young gcntl, man Of Parls has sur
viyed to give this account of his sensa-
tions " As j kicked away the chair
and fell / had the sensation of Teceiy-
ing a blow from a hammer on the top Of
my head. j did not feel the rope, and
the only defined sensation succeeding
that Of the blow was a sensation OF
weight in my head. My head seemed
heavier and bigger than the great bell
of Notre Dame. lt was night all about
me, and then there came terrible cold
in the lower part OF my body, and then
a sharp pain where the rope was tear
ing my neck, and theu-no;hing.
THE statement is made in an interest
ing article in the Trade journal that
within the past forty years the gross
in America has been diminished fully
one-half. Half CENTURY ego the iron
frame of a Washington printing press
weighed nearly 1000 pounds, and al
though il was an arch Oi metal nino
inches wide by three inches thick, 20
poor was its quality that 10 was often
broken 10y tn pun OF one prsssman,s
arm. The present smooth light cast
ings show an actual elasticity under
strain approaching the service OF
wrought iron.
A SCHOOL teacher in Umatilla county,
California, had n pretty girl OF sixteen
as n pupil. She entanglcd his heart,
aud then cruelty Tilted him. Thercupon
he sought revenge. Catching her IN n
slight infraction of the rules, Inc swung
his birch branch aloft, and commanded
her to stand up and be whipped. She
ran out of the door and like deer
across the fields toward home but her
leetncss was Of short duration, and tho
angry yschoolmastcr's hand soon graspcd
her arm. Her courage had gone with
her wind, and Ehe offered then aud
there TO kiss and makc mp If nc wouldn't
whip her. He declined tD compromise,
led her back 90 the school-house, AMI
forged her until blood came through
tho back of her dress. Her hour Of
exultation came when shs saw him fined
$50 for assault.
A FARMER called at the house of
lawver TO consult him professionally.
"Isr Saucer at homc?" he inquired
of the LAWYERS wife. He WAS answered
After a moments hesita-
ton a thought relieved him. " Mcbhy
yourself can gi' ne information as well
as q Squccr, as ye're his wife, The
kind lady promised 10 do so If she
found j. in her power, and the other
proceeded us follows: "Spoaze yo
were an old white mpre, an / should
borry We TO gwang % mill with grlst ON
yer back, an we should get no frrdcr
than Stair Hill, when all at once yo
should back up, and rear up, and pitch
up, and knccl down backward, and
break yer darned old neck, who'd pay
for We? Not darn me If j would
The lady smilinply told him, as Sue
closed the door, that as he had himself
settled the case, advice would be super
huos.
ToNIcs FOR WoMEN. Nothing make
a woman age more rapidly than over,
gork-the reason, probably, that Amor
lean women fade 70 sDon. Sunshine,
music, work and sleep are the greatest
medicines for women, VITO need more
sleep than men. Their nerves are more
sensitive, aud they are not so strong,
and exhaustion from labor or pleasure
takes place sooner with them than men.
Never permit yourself 10 be aroused out
of deep sleep IN the morning. in
fact, one should never be vREenei. The
body rouses itself when it's demands
are satisfied. Take n warm bath Oc-
casionally before going 90 bed-at least
once a week. Retire aE soon as you
feel sleepy in the evening; don't rouse
yourself and go 70 work. You need
rest then, and will pay for the trespass
on your physical nature the next day II
you disobey.
GREECE Is about the size OF Vermont.
Palestine il Cne.fouith the size Of New
York. HindoOstsn is more than a hum
dred times as large 8s Palestine. Tho
Great Desert of Africa has nearly tho
present dimensions Of the United
States. The Red Sea would reach from
Washington 10 Colorado, and il is three
times as wide as Lake Ontario. The
ENGLISH Channel is nearly as lurTC Vs