The Canton mail. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 18??-1882, 1875-12-04
The People Who Sit Behind You.

| AT the theatre, says the ArcadIan,
one is sometimes vexed with the people
on the stage = Sad as this is, however,
| therare not always the only ones who
are veXatious. Bad as their perform
ance may be, the people who sit behind
lis often detract more from our pleas
ure than those beyond the footlights
can possibly do. The worst actor that
ever lived often tries to please-you
can seldom be possibly sure that he is
not trying-hut the people who sit
behind us have not that object in view.
1t would appear as though they came
there for the express purpose of eX-
planning to everybody around them
what the play is about. They antici-
pate the stars arrival several moments
before he comes on. They know pre-
cisely where the funny man goes out
and where the laugh comes in. Before
the denouement arrives they unfold it
fer us. The people who sit behind us
have no mercy; they do not care
whether we have seen the play hun
bred times or whether we have seen it
at ALL They distribute their praise or
blame with a calm disdain of anybody's
feelings but their own. The man who
brings his country cousins to the theatre
is particularly odious. He sits there
with magnificent assumption of supe-
riority. He criticizes all the dramatis
personae in whisper loud enough to
be heard across the aisle. He is up to
all the tricks and devices of the man
agement, and sees through the catch
applause courtesy in a moment. He
dispels the country cousins illusions at
touch; tells her that the low come
dian wears a false nose, and that the
complexion of the leading lady can be
bought for twenty-five cents bottle.
He damns the stock company with a
sort of ostentatious commiseration, and
his country cousins perceive when a
good point has been made by the vigor
of his applause. Now that Mr.. Booth
is going through the rounds of his
favorite parts, this pompous critic will
be in his element, and have his hands
agreeably full. Whenever we happen
to sit in the theatre he will be sure to
be behind us, and the first intimation
we shall have of Hamlet's father will
be his nervous exclamation, "Look
out for the Ghost" He will prevent
our installing Polonius for Hamlet by
exclaiming, at the proper moment,
"Here's Ned Booth" He will leave
us no doubt as to the motives which
actuate the melancholy Dane, for we
shall hear him whispering to his COM
panions that Hamlet hates Claudius
because Claudius killed his father and
married his mother In the interview
in the fourth act between Hamlet and
sits behind us requesting his compan-
ions to keep their eyes open and see
how Hamlet goes for Polonius" In
the interview with Rosencranz and
Guildenstern we shall hear the same
critic entreating his friends to observe
how they are "sat on" by the prince.
In this spirit he will proceed through
the entire tragedy.
The most aggravating characteristic
of the people who sit behind us is that
they remain forever unconscious of the
odiousness of their conduct. If your
irritation takes the form of turning to
look at them they construe your indig-
nant glance into sympathy, and smile
amiably in return. They have even
been known to attempt conversation
under these aggravating circumstances,
and to add insult to injury by asking
the loan of Playful or lorgnette.
Few well-bred Americans are quite
equal TO an emergency of this kind.
1t takes the thorough Britisher, with
his cold and stony stare and icy i'm
perturbability, to quite crush offending
creatures of this description. A MEM
Der of any other nationality will usually
be conciliatory, and mask his disgust
under some amiable disguise.