davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-07-02
Wit and HumOr.


WHEN is boat like snowl When she
is drift.
Fox's Martyrs-Ducks, fowls, turkeys
and geese.
The cruelest Observation-Disclosures
friends. The most painful-Cutting your
fingers.
EVERY husband thinks that he can
tame n shrew, except the poor fellow
that has her.
A CLOSE observer says that the words
which ladies are fondest of are the first
and last words.
ONE of the uninitiated says he sup
poses that Masons are only higher sort
of hod-fellows.- World.
QUuLs are things that are sometimes
taken from the pinions of one goose to
spread the opinions of another.
THE reason why Pagans are so far be-
hind-hand i'll the march of civilization, is
because they are such idol people.
Tile Gar of Russia entertains the tele-
graph conference to-day. Wonder
whether any Poles are invited.-CoDa-
merciat advertiser.
Two editors are now living with bull
lets in their heads. In a large number
of instances if you wanted to reach an
editors brains, shoot him when his
back is to you. And shoot low.-Er-
change.
HERE is an extract from letter writ
ten to her lover by Montgomery (Ala.)
girl r.: "For your sake, darling, 1 have
quit using chewing gum would you
have quit gum for me L would not
have quit gum for any other person in
the whole world"
A YOUNG lady who had just recovered
from severe indisposition was visited
by gentleman friend, who found her
reclining on sofa i'll the parlor. After
some little conversation she remarked
II have been laying long enough, and
shall set awhile"
A RUDE, ignorant fellow called on the
late James Howe, the painter, well
known for his spirited representations of
the lower animals, and inquired whether
he was "the man who drew pictures o
brute beasts" 6" am" replied Howe /;
"shall l take your likeness Z"
Mr.. BAcKUs, of Michigan, was so in
judicious rs to smoke liz the same wagon
with can of coal-oil. If Prof. Peters,
in scanning around among the planets,
should happen to get glimpse of any
thing that looks like fragment of Mr..
b., he will send word to the papers.
PRETzELs.
No man can lick a postage stamp with
out disturbing the piece.
The latest gag-Garroting at mid
night.
Sentiment for a us-taker-Many
happy returns.
A towboat will naturally burn quicker
than any other kind of water craft.
JONES gave lawyer bill to be col
lected, to the amount of $40. Calling
for it, after a while, he inquired if it
had been collected. ooh, yes I" said
the lawyer, CT have it all for YOU"
What charge for collectingl" "Oh,"
said the lawyer, laughing, "I'm not go
ing to charge you; why, have known
you ever since you were q boy, and your
father before You; $50 will be right"
handing over so. "Well, )" said Jones,
as he meditated upon the transaction,
"it's darned lucky he didn't know my
grandfather, or / shouldn't have got
anything -
SAID Jenkins TO his wife one day.
We've scarcely anything 10 eat;
And If we don't do something soon,
We shant make both ends meet"
His wife replied in accents mild
think it's very well we're fed
III we can make but one end meat,
And make the other bread"
81
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-07-02

AT one of the Boston schools, recently,
in answer to the question, "What's the
difference between an island and CONT
nent, and upon whish do we livel" a
bright little shaver replied, 1.-The differ.
ence is that continent is much larger
than an island, and we live ON bread and
meat and other things"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-07-02

HoN. Japan WENTWORTH, who died
at Lowell, Mass, recently, defeated
Henry Wilson for Congress in 1853.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-07-02

Now Jin the young heayen-buit mechanic, in the
dusk 81 the evening before,
Had well nigh unjointed the stoye-pipe, TO make IL
como down ON the floor;
And the squire bringing smartly his foot down, as q
clinchor 90 what he had said,
q Joint OF the pipe fell upon him and larruped him
square on the head
The SCOT flew in clouds all about him, and blotted
with black all the place,
And the squire and the other four fathers were
peppered with black in the face.
The school. ever sharp for amusement, laid down
all their cumbe rsome books,
And spite II the teachers cndcavors, laughed loud
at their visitors looks.
And the squire, he staked 20 the doorway, swore
oaths of a violet hue
And the four district fathers. who followed seemed
60 say, " TheD,s my sentiments ,ets"
-Ua,Yeg's Weekly.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-07-02

SAID jenkins to his wife one day,
We've scarcely anything 10 eat;
And If We don't do something soon,
We shant make both ends meet"
His wife replied in accents mild,
81 think it's very well we're fed,
III we can make but one end meat,
And make the other bread"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15
AN ABsURDrrY OF THE NEW POSTAL LAW.

TO the Editor Of The Tribune
SIR | am the publisher OF a monthly college
paper in city among other things and when took
last months mail 10 the PostOfice was requested to
pick papers of city subscribers out Of the bundle
and put onecent stamp each otherwise they would
not mail them protested but told such was tho
law Now that the aw n ii is, is about as ridcu
los as l other things the last Congress was guilty Of
I sent in that bundle papers to Boston. Phiis-
delphia New York. also Al far West ST. Paul. MINI
On all these paid cents pound only Az 1t takes
about Is papers 10 make pound you will see it cost
onefh of each send papers hundreds OF miles,
and which would be handled perhaps six times but
when comes the city list am required 10 pay cent
for paper although they do not travel any distance
and only require one handling Can you solve the
problem or give reason for iti person might weH
try to study French poetry with Hebrew dictionary
of asking any member OF Congress; they would know
nothing aboutit. So come To the The TRIBUNE; but
although an % constant reader. and Will admit you
can generally clear anything brought To your notice,
am afraid you will puzzled here The postal law is
OF idiOsyncraSies Of retiring statesmen. Their
ticket isn't and they give things III general
a Last kick. have been thinking in view OF this ana
other things that IL would be- good for the GOyernment
To take hold the telegraph business and run 10 they
do the POst-Oce business for then could all nave
private and hear direct from statesmen when
such and such law changed. For instance. IL would
be gratifying to find hundred kilograms each morning
been repealed and This amended. and that
added TO- would then read letters and papers and
there would be changes that day, and
90 about our confidently. without any joking,
think that is the only thing that wli make man
1dent III each day, business q. IA. ROGERS.
IittSbUTgh. Penn. April 10 1870.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15

after T0-but won't he certain about that l think
the next after the publication Of the Bacon letter,
learned from Mr. John Russell Young, Of The New lorS
Herald.
Q. When was that A. That was some time in the
Summer Of 1874 probably July but won't be positive
Q. Did you learn then its contentsi A. did not
O. Didn't you see q copy Of 1t thenf A. did not
O. Well, had you up TO that time. learned its
contentsi A. had learned from Mr. Tracy what was
the drift of 1t.
O. The drift OF it, but not its contentsi n Not It's
O. Only the substancei A. Not in detail
O. Not In detail A. No
@ What did Mr.. Tracy say to You in regard to it A.
He spoke to me OF that letter, and told him that
Mr.. Beach-No, not what You told him.
Mr.. Fullerton-what did Mr.. Tracy say TO yout A.
cannot recall the language.
@ Did he profess repeat IT in the language in which
II was writteni A. do not know that he did repeat 1t
in many words; know that he made such state
ment OF it that got quite idea Of what was
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15
MR. BEECHER'S LATER KNOWLEDGE OF THE
APOLOGY.


O. Well pass from that, then, now TO any
other person or occasion when you heard of it please
state A. The only time that ever heard OF II with any
distnctness that recolect was from Mr. Mouon him
self.
O. When was that A. Immediately after Mr.. Tracys
visit Of which have spoken.
O. Did he show IT to yOui A. No, Sir; he SAID 1t was
burned up.
O. That is the next that you heard of it, A. That is
the next heard of it.
O. When was that A. 1t a day or two after had
Mr.. Tracy
O In the Fall Of ls73-December 1872 A. It was in
the of 1872 maybe early in 1871 cannot say
O. Now Of whom else did you hear anything of itf A.
don't recollect Sir anything OF IL again until heard
that there was to be rom it in card proposed
to be printed by Mr.. TltOn about June of 1873
O. Did you see that extracti A. did not, Sir
O. Did you know in what form it was, or shapei A.
No / did not, Sir only
O. That is an answer pass then to the next occasion
when you heard Of t2
Mr. Evarts-He wishes to qualify it,
Mr. Fullerton-Oh don't object TO his qualifying it
The witness-I heard IL stated what the substance OF 1t
From whomi A. From Mr.. Kinsea-
O. When A. when he came to see me on Monday
morning, the I'd Of June.
O. I'd Of Junel A. Yes, Sir.
O. Did he state the substance Of it to you' A. He
stated don't know that ne stateu inc suoSI"ho' ""
he stated the drift OF it,
O. The drift OF It'll A. Yes, Sir.
O. Didn't he give you q copy of 1T A. No, Sir
O. Did he have a copy Of IL! Not that know of.
O. Did he state you what form il was writtenf A
In what form originally.
O. The memorandum was-in what form II existed A.
Oh no. IL did into the conversation III that
form.
O. Well that is the cd of June, 1873 A. 1873
O. Now have you narrated to all that you ever
learned in regard that paper up TO that time A
don't know that have
O Didn't Mr. Clafln tell you something about III A.
He inquired about IL OF me.
O But gave you Information III regard 10 tf \. He
asked information Of me rather than gave me any.
O. Now Mr. Beecher, tax your recollection. because
In important II You have omitted 10 state any nfOrn-
ton that you derived in regard 10 this letter OF memori,n
dunn whaever may be called, al any time within The
limits inquired Of want you TO state H. A don't
recall 1t, Sir except TIM statement made TO NE b, MI
Tracy.
O. That You had gwen usi A. Yes, Sir; that is the
most distinct that recoect and then should say me
next perhaps. Mr. Clafin--
@ Well. he inquredi A. He inquired; the next was
my brother, Dr. Edward Beecher he inquired.
O. Well. you have omitted That A. Yes. Sir.
O. He only inquiredl A. saw him. and remembered
IL he inquired.
O. He gave yon no Information, thought A. No; same
"a Mr. Clafn.
you of 1873 these inquiries Of Mr. Clain think, came
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15
JUDGMENT OF CLERGYMEN

SIR read with great pleasure youf editorial
of Saturday entitled Cergymen and Their COngrv
cations" seldom have met in our rst-class religsss
weekes anything equalng it, or anything calculated 70
effect what may properly be expected from that artofA
In a religious weekly it would be looked upon ~ an -
tice written in selfdefense. In your extensively crcu-
lated secular paper must be taken the candid judg
ment Of those standing outside At present owing to
actual or rlmOred scandals in high places clergymen
looked somewhat railroad conductors are after
The whole class is put under surveillance II each Is not
compelled bell. Ii WIS therefore most CRAFTY
ing to ind your large secular journal article thus
ably reviewing and setting forth the position Of clergymeo
and relation TO their And the state
ment that congregations appreciated those who had
grown gray continuous service To the same people WA
true j. GARDINER
Ae,r- York. April IL 1879.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15
MORAL OF THE GREAT TRIAL.
IL

T
SIR: In view of the evidence in the TiltOn-
Beecher case will not all good people now join in send.
ing certain noisy class Of and women To Coventry
Is the storm and the air not be purified In the
name posterity plead with my sister women 20 te>
false idols alone and to bothering with all suoe
nane subjects wOmens rights and female suffrage.
Let them sink into the abyss Of everlasting darkness
rather than chink open their homes for the
devil 20 drive in an entering wedge. Let each mOthes
work she wrought before to form the principles
OF her sons holy foundation; let her WORK, watch
pray that her daughters grow pure and healthy;
and she will have one aspiration to vote
and than all she will not have to work for
they will be yielded to her When mothers do their dug
our cOuntrymen will grow mp righte0usly. When our
countrymen conscientious this nation will be saved
the physical and moral ruin that now threatens It,
Heaven speed the day MRS d.
DeLdcare COUNTY, Penn. April IL, 1875.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15

@. Then you supposed that Mr. Tilton was acting In
good faith in making this charge against you' A. sup
posed that he had reason to think that had been y
wronger of his family.
O. Then will ask you again. when you came to that
conclusion that Mrs. Tton had told falsehood about IT,
and that Mr.. Tton acting In good faith In making
the charge against you why didn't you hasten to vind
cate yourself to him by telling him that 1t was untruei
Mr.. Evarts-TeIng whomt
Mr. Fullerton--Mr Tlton.
The witness-win you be good enough to state the
question again. 'sri
Mr.. Fullerton-I viii let the stcnographer read it,
The Tribune senographer read the last question: as re-
quested.
A. thought was doing IL. Sir.
Q. BY this letter OF January IL A. BY Mr. Moulton.
@. BY Mr.. Moultont A. BY Mr.. Mouton.
@. In what wayi A. This whole interview was vim
dicaton and explanation and to be carried by him
TO man that excited and whose interview with me
would not be likely TO be paciAcatory in all respects
O. Well, let read this to you and want you, II you
please to point along where there is any ex-
PLANTATION TO Mr. TltOn convince him that his charge
against you wrong: Reading.
ask through you. Theodore Ton's forgiveness, and
would have been better in my circumstances than
have been 1 can ask nothing except that he will re.
member all the other hearts that would ache. will not
plead for myset l even wish were dead but others
must live and suffer will die before any one but my
self shall I've incupated. All my thoughts are running
toward friends toward the poor child lying there and
praying with her folded hands She IL gutess slnned
bearing the transgresson of another Her for
giveness have humby pray to God that he may put
il in the heart OF her husband to forgive her.
l have trusted this TO MoutOn in confidence
Where do you find there explanation assever
alton upon your part that you not guilty of the
oense with which you stood charged A That is not
my document.
q. understood you 10 say. however, that you had
conversation with Mr.. Mouton in which you expressed
to very considerable extent the sentiments in this let
ter, A. said that the sentiments in that letter were
part of my conversation. but did not select the sent
ments that he to report.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15
A BROADWAY ANNOYANCE.

TO n = EdttOr or The Trtbune.
SIR: The patience and lOng-sutfering of tho
inhabitants OF New-YOrk exemphhed in their toll
of streetcar nuisance alude to that line Of
cars whose track close by The Herald office hush
with the edge OF the Broadway sidewalk. Thousands
daily cross Parkrow and subjected to the annoyance
OF this blocking OF their pathway. When one reflects
that this infringement of the rights OF the public occurs
in one busiest parts Of the city. II subject Ot
vonder that the been stopped
LET the end track be ut Ann-st TINS would IN
wise against the interests ~ the Company II would us
Heye The Dusy citizen. and would destroy nuisance.
Aeic- York, April 10, 1870. VII
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15

O. Do You recoIIect the month"; A. do not positively.
but think it was in July.
@. And where did you sec hint A. At my house.
q. In BrOoklyns A. Yes. Sir
q. Did he offer you copy OF The psperf A. He no
| not.
O. Did he offer TO read the paper to yout A. lie dA
not.
O. Did he offer in any way 10 the contents
Of that paper to youi A. He did not
O. Did he offer in any way whatever through his OWE
agency through the agency OF other person or per
sons put you the way OF getting at the exact co0
tents of that paper, A. He did not.
O. Did you not tell Mr. John Russell Young. in SUB
stance that you didn't wish copy Of that or has
you didn't wish IT, that you didn't wish to learn
ts contents-you wanted to have said upon the trial
the case that you had it until wa Produces
in A. don't recollect saying any such words 70
him.
O. Did you say that to him in substance, A do NOS
think did.
O. viii you say you did say ti A. say, according
to the best OF my recollection. did not.
O. Did he profess have with him what purportea
to be a copy OF that letter. A. He did not.
G. Did he tell you that he had copy OF II. or the
itsefi A. He told me that be had an Original
document.
O. OF yours, A. or mine; that is signed original
document, represented to be- mine
O. Did he tell you that he had examined your signature
To that document to whether genuine. A. He
did.
O. And did you understand him referring to the iet
ter OF jan 1, 1877 A. l did
@. Did he tell you where he had seen it, A. He did
q. Did you then deny its authentictyf A did not
Mr.. Beach TO NJ. Fullertonl Or disclam it in snS
form.
Mr. Fullerton-In any OF the onyersat Ons you had
Mr.. Beach-with Mr.. Youngt
Mr.. FullertOn-Either with Mr.. Young, or with your
brother or with Mr. Clafin-
Mr.. Beach-with Mr.. Young.
Mr.. FullertOn-Dd you discaim the authenticity u
that letter. A. I don't remember; did not 70 Ne.
Young
Q. You are sure OF that A. Yes Sir.
O. Did you say that in substance 10 Mr. Young wthswe
reference to the triali A. had conversation WITH
him about the trial.
@. Did you say that you didn't want To know the cos
OF the paper at al-waned To be in position 70
say you didn't itl A. don't think did.
O. Nothing OF that kndf A. Nothing Of that kind that
/ can recall.
Mr.. FullertOn-NOw Mr. Beecher, call your attention
to this first statement OF yours, dated July 5 1874 TO
Judge Neilson.l II your Honor please that Ia long
document, and it will occupy time than have
left
Judge Nelson ITO the Juryl-Get ready to retire. gen
temen Please be here tomorrow morning at III O'Clock
Mr.. Madison the Clerkl-The court stands adjournoS
until tomorrow morning at IL O'Clock
The court thereupon adjourned until IL o'clock today
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15
SYNTAX MATCHES.

To the EditOrof The Tribune
SIR Let us welcome every attempt 10 improve
the bad grammar Of our people. IN G Rs" interest
ing but too short paper American English may
prove beginning Ia better things In mother tongue
The spelling matches popular began IN remote,
town. and almost Joke. but they nave uohe sea'
GOOD ALREADY Let Us correct grammar hialch'S.
and make better known the errors the niOst ensLtueh
ui ~ are daily committing ""N'
AeF- lOrk, April 10, $50.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15
POSTAGE PAID BY NETWORK Newspapers.

PUrIATE FAID B1 NEW iOflh NJ" of III f1rU'
To The Edttor Of The Tribune.
SIR: In referring TO the amount of postage
paid by the several papers in New York, did you NOT for
get call attention to the fact that each OF your four
cent morning contemporaries has sunday edition, While
THE TRIBUNE. printing but six times week pays doubh
the postage of any OF them and three or four times
much as sonnet Yours, Hr.
WdShingt0n ID. e.. April H. 1879.
[The fact might have been mentioned, like gooA
many others, which would serve to emphasize the
nature of THE TRrBUNE's success. But its position
is 80 clearly settled that it does not seem worth
while to pay much attention to these little things
Ed
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-04-15
THE EXPRESSIONS IN THE LETTER OF
APOLOGY.

APOLOGY.
O. Very well then he was not the messen-
ger for that purpose A. He was himself message III
his peaceful feelings toward both parties his sympathy
with both and his determination 10 80 explain do
that both should be recOnciled.
q Ica your attention now, Mr. Beecher, still further
TO this document: Readingl "He would have been
better man in my circumstances than have Deeh Dd
Won say ANYTHING to that e1ecti A dld not say thao
sentence that recOect Sir but said something which
/ can well understand might nave oeeh put uo"n' ioi
short, in that sentence
q Did YOU say anything that conveyed that sentmentf
A. did
n Tread another sentence can ask nothing except
that he will remember all the other hearts that would
ache" Did YOU say anything that conveyed that ideas
A. Not in that bold way.
O. How did you iti Did you say that In snDsance'
/ NOT in its apothegmatic form, 1t stands there.
Mr. Beaeh-That answer refers merely 10 inc Iorih Vi
the expression. ,
Mr. Fuerton-Did yOu express that sentiment whether
Won clothed it in tat language mott A. discussed
with him l.
n Did Won express that sentiment A. Mo- not In
that close way in which you press me for an answer
a Very well something akin TO it A. can give
YOU almost the very thing.
O. someth ng AKIN TO its A Something IN tha' neish-
bOrhOOd, sir. ~
a read again: lReadingl 81 will not plead for my
self Ieycn wish that we're dead" Did you express
any such sentiment thai A That does not represent
any sentiment that expressed.
q MD Won say anything in substance like this; . But
o,bers must live and suer A spoke of others hvmg
and suffering.
O. Tsen again. did you say this in substance - wn
die before anyone myself shall be incuipatcdF
No. q, IL,
O. Did you say anything Of that naturef a. saiu
something in that neghborhood
q MD Won say this All my thoughts are running TO
ward nv friends toward the poor child lying there ana
praying with her folded handsi" A That reminds me oil
some things that said in respect of Mrs Tilton
O. Something Of that characterf A Under the I'M
preston produced upon me by that interview tha'
night -
o. Again, did you say this lReadIngl She is guilt
loss sinued against, bearing the tIansgrsSon OF
au,therF A. No. not al 1t stands there, did not