The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-10-30
BADLY MINED.
How Master Bllderback's school Books Got
Changed.

How Master Bllderback's School Books Got
Changed.
From the Burlington Hawkeyel
1t appears that during vacation Master Bill
derback, having fallen behind in his studies
last term, was compelled, by his ma TO read
his school books certain hours of the day,
until he escaped that tyranny by going out to
his Uncle Keyser's farm. In order to make
his study as light as possible, this ingenious
boy had dissected, or rather skinned his
books, and neatly inserted in their covers
certains words of the most thrilling character
known In modern literature When he came
back from the farm this transformation bust
ness had entirely escaped his memory, and it
was not even recalled when he heard his
mother tell the teachers, who called in hopes
of learning that the bean had sprouted and
grown into his brain and would probably
terminate fatally, that he was the best boy to
study during vacation that she ever saw, and
would pore for hours over his books, and even
seem anxious to get at them. Master Bilder-
back had forgotten all about it, and only
thought IL was some OF his mothers foolish
ness, ofwhich he believed her to possess great
stores. AS tor tine bean, the amazed teacher
learned that 1t never was discovered, 1t never
hurt him particle, and had just naturally
ceased to be. And the teacher went sadly
away ONCl tnlo CuoC, uuu tuut VI
little Ezra Simpson, the best and most studi-
Gus, and quietest, and most lovaby boy in
her school, who one day stumbled and ran the
end Of slate pencil into his nose and died
the next day. And long, long after she had
got cut of sight of Bilderback's house, she
could hear the hopeful Master Bllderback
shouting SHOOT that hiatt" and "Pull down
your vest' to gentlemen driving with their
families or sweethearts past that mansion.
Dreadful boy, she thought, he will surely
come to some bad end some day.
Well, it was only the next day that when
the reading class was called, Master Bllder-
back took mis- place for the first time. The
boy next to him had no book and as he was
called first he just took Master Bllderback's,
who turI ed to look on with the boys on the
other side. The class was reading the Sc
lection IRON "Old Curiosity Shop" and girl
had just finished reading the tender para
graph, "She was dead. Dear, gentle, patient,
noble Nell was dead. Her little bird-a
poor. Slight thing the persuce of thing would
have crushed-was sitting nimbly in It's
cage, and the strong heart of its chilG-mis-
tress was mute and motionless foreverm
Imagine the iealings Of the teacher when the
boy got up with Master Bilderbacks reader
went on:
BLACK iend OF the nethermost gloom, down
to thy craven soul thou liest," detained
Manfred, the avenger, drawlng-his rapier,
Draw, malignant hound, and die"
"Down, perjured fool. Villain and double
dyed traitor, down with thy caititf face in
the dust. Dare'st thou defy me-? Beast with
a pigs head, thy doom is sealed!' exclaimed
the mystic knight, throwing up his vizor.
l"DOst know me now? am the Mad Mun-
cher of the Bazzarooks"
.tMa frp1 the IrOnnpU his blade
at this terrible name, and
The teacher caugh; her breath and stopped
the boy. In tones OF forced calmness she
asked what he was reading and he told her
il was Bilderbacks reader, and looked In
IamaZement at the innocent scholastic books
and the vIllainous interior, which was nothing
less than THE Blood on the Ceiling; or the |
Death Track of the Black SnooZer" After
requesting Master Blderback to remain after
school and explain, she called the next class
one in arithmetic.
Fisher" she said, you may read and ana
we the fourth problem"
And Fisher, who was Bilderback's next
seatmate, and had taken that young mans
book by mistake, rose and read
The PSEtie;t ~ IItt le baby OH
And sent 1t up TO glory, oh!
She lays eggs Tor gentlemen;
Sometimes"
an mercy's name" shrieked the poor teach
er, what have you got there ?" And investiga-
tion revealed the rather humiliatIng fact that
when Mrs. Bilderback thought her young
son was pouring over mathematical problems,
he was learning choice vocal selections out
of "The Pull-Back Songster and Ethiopian
Glee Book"
When the grammar class was called, the
teacher asked some one 10 bring her book.
Master Bilderbaek was the nearest and he
handed her his, innocently enough, for he had
been busy with more projects than he coul
tell about in a week, since the arithmetic
class had gone down. The teacher was tired l