Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1875-04-23
SpellOmania.

Now don't go looking in the dictionary
for that word. You will not find it there.
1t is the name of new disease which has
broken out this spring with great violence
all over the country. We call the disease
new, still there are traditions handed down
of its appearance here and there in old
times, but those attacks were slight COM
pared TO the malignant form which 1t has
taken in these days.
And everybody has it. 1t Is not, like
measles and whooping- cough, confined
principally to children, but 1t attacks all
persons of whatever age and degree. And,
as in other contagious diseases, it is no.
ticed that ns a genoraI ,hi.a siIo UIucr
person is the worse he has 1t.
The disease manifests itself in different
ways with different sufferers, but there is
one thing in which they are all alike, and
that is their devotion to the dictionary and
spelling-book. Morning, noon and night
Unabridged They carry it about with
them from room to room, and have 1t with
in reach at meal-time, work time and
play-time. When they go into the street
they exchange it for spelling-book, and
walk along poring over the precious vol
ume as if Il contained the quintessence Of
all wisdom.
The very air is thick with flying words;
they rain down upon you and dodge them
you can't. Every family resolves itself in
to an evening spelling school; and little
children who scarcely know their letters
by sight go about spelling words of five
syllables that they have caught from their
elders. Oh, if Noah Webster could but
have lived to see this day!
When friends meet, the common saluta-
ton is not How do you do ?'' but What
word did you get down on last night?" If
YOU go into neighbours of a morning er-
rand, no sooner do you step inside than
you are transfixed with a word to spell.
You run against an acquaintance at the
street corner, and are brought up with the
imperious challenge, "Spell syZygy!'
You go to make ceremonious call, and
are scarcely seated before your hostess po-
! litely asks you to spell "sisalgrass." You
are invited to spend social evening at a
| friends house, and the ''feast of reason
consists of a course in Sanders Speller,
with a dessert of Webster's Dictionary.
| Gentlemen go down to their business in
the street-cars propounding to each other
as they go such conundrums as these: -
"If Tindelible' is spelled i-n-d-e,l,i.
bile, why should deleble' be spelled
d-e-l-e-b-l-e?"
"If i-e-l-l-y spells Jelly why should
! g-e-la-b-l-e spell gelable'?"
"If 'opaline' has only one !, why
should crystalline be allowed twor'
"What is the use of the p and two Rs in
phthisic?" .s G.
"Spell caoutchoucp ETC., and the usual
answer is "Give it up"
Business men usually give in TO the
malady as soon as anybody, and the type
of the disease seems a little more malig-
nant with them than with anybody else.
For instance, you drop into an Office to
ask the loan of a few dollars, and are told,
" / am s-o-r sor r-y Ty, sorry, but cannot
&C ac com com O-d-a, no, mo mo ac-
commo date you with the Lone, no,
Loan, loan to-day"
Even our editorial sanctum does not es-
cape the contagion, and as the anxious
and trembling author receives back his
manuscript from the editorial hands ac-
companied with the remark, Your poem
is very good; it has the true poetic fire 4;
the budding flowers and purling streams
and soft breezes are all there and all right; /;
but then you have spelled traveller with
two Is and transposed the vowels in re-
prieve'; therefore we must respectfully
decline It," he departs wiser if a sadder
man.
But all these are only preliminaries to
the grand crisis, which always manifests
itself at the spelling match. 1t is pitiful
to see the long rows of strong and healthy
looking people stricken down by word.
Too exhausted TO stand, they drop, one
after another, like leaves in an autumn
gale, while the sympathizing friends who
look on are powelless to help.
But there is some light in the dark
prospect AS there are some acute attacks
of illness that leave the system better and
stronger by expelling the cause of the dis
ease, so we are not without hope that this
bad spell may cast out some Of the very
peculiar and original photography which
has long debilitated the entire public sys-
tenn. If such shall be the result no one
will rejoice in it quite so much as we
long-suffering editors. And after that we
shall pray for similar epidemic Of punst-
uation .-AdpdRce.