Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1875-12-31
II U MO e.

UMOR.
ilIlan on Fourth street has learned
that will do her some good in the
One cold morning last week she
8 hard heartedness to make her
net up and make the fire. He
sff,ph the clothes pins she had put in
8S2kot for chips and made roaring
81 them. She mourns the loss, but
3 4 Sad is satisfied that she'll impose
ID no more.
1B-case containing fancy cards, etc,
.i3ens of the work done inside"
.Nra front of Trenton, N. j., print
1o1se, and a placard is attached tothe
NE, which reads in large letters, s'Hands
Il. lew nights since some witty news
1oY raVe quite new import to the card
k ulaking it read: ssHands off--on
drasnk''
Baninell, of the Danville ssAdvertiser,''
q s6en compelled to abandon his type
ltfe and return to the goose quill and
IA pencil. His ideas scintillations
Aoeains, SO to speak--fiowed so rapidly
H3nRh the typewriter that they set the
f6lne on fire; and the insurance men
6Sfened to treble his rates if he didn't
using it.
iM08e. Laura (who is still trife TO-
Ifiel: stDon't you think there is some
iDk very solemn about the fall Of the
"a leaves, Reginald!'' Reginald. her
band (who has outgrown his romanee):
III Pause. Talking of dead leaves
Cue deuce and all have [ done with
pbacco 20
saturday Evening POST is making
er to the country newspapers that
lpoverish it if many of them accept
cposition. To such newspapers as
i1l nrint its half.column advertisements
e the publishers make the lavish offer
n d copy of their valuable sheet for one
d s..
4 4 ae shortest way the best--Mamma Ito
E2Sl, on their way to the latter's first
~ NJ w, mind, darling, if you see
~ nice things on the table that you'd
~ b eat, you mustn't ask for them
10. no, mamma !--I'll take them
me- believe it is the opinion of the Brook
14H detectives that William Tweed COM
Iaitaed suicide. Rochester Democrat"
q, eyeTything points to the conclusion
Hthe Boss has 'ere this become u sfelloae
~ ssa
Daabtless Mr.. U. G.. Samples, Of Geor-
Ii don't appreciate what narrow es-
!. De 10 had from FILLING tree, " hich
! HE'D the two mules he was driving. And
NJ 81 g. Samples of such ingratitude con-
ldy applying for admission to the
class of an Eastern seminary, beicg
Toned by the President as to her quail
,.Eions, replied: II amt much of an
lthaneticker. but am an excellent gram
artist.
IA bachelor returning from a ball in
srBWded coach, declared with a groan that
lsa had not the slightest objection to ''rings
4es. ii fingers" but he had most un-
roo vocal aversion to bellies on his toes"
a.var the porch of the Old South Church
III Boston is chiselled Behold. [ have
ssf hefore you an open door," and under,
on the door. is printed in emphatic letters,
tifsos:.ively no admittance."
ii Is said that the minister who is carry
ing ID the pen.fght against the Catholics
ats Trenton, n. j., is so bitterly opposed to
4iae Roman faith, that in manuscript he
will not cross his letter Us.
Two telegraph operators in separate
ffagtford offices quarreled over the wires
NTH one challenged the other to meet him
halt way and fight. They met and had it
cut in fisticufs.
There is man in Indiana who takes
thiFty-two newspapers, and you might as
vel Try to ride a whirl-wind on sidesad-
stie rs attempt to impose upon that man.
n The:most puzzling thing about an editori-
III shears is the antipathy usually existing
between that useful article and the italic
found at the bottom of paragraph.
AbRssina asks the assistance of the Uni /
te& States against the Mahommedan inva-
len. Cer5ainly-where's Sergeant Bates? /
1Ie ought to go in advance.
II Tins is the season of the year when
ssaantry papers announce that printers
xxa1t have rest, and so suspend publication
aNFi5lg the holidays. & =
I'm married now," was the excuse
q no youth gave florist for not buying
r many bouquets as in former years.
u IN hen Chinese sea captain wants to
WI tis ship, where would he take it
il - TO the junk dealer, of course.
Il ocner NJ hat is the definition OF fir
6n? Intelligent young pupil-"It is
ntion without Intention
He was one of our most energetic trus-
says village paper in an obituary |
kfco, -sand we trustees happy
sCourtship is bliss,'' said an ardent
inR man Yes, and matrimony is bis |
I snarled an old bachelor.
some people think Tweed is still in the
nv We think he's still, wherever he is.
a. sp1sy3,s,cinl Advertiser.
Stsfe papers mention the suspension OF
81 a {ton Eagle - That must be q soar |
i e for the editor. 1ssea-- se1
fff45.S y,<.1;oct arf .studauts made ARROW