Connecticut western news., 1875-03-05
Josh Billings Says.

He who forgivs another forgivs him self, for we are all ov us gilty ov abou the same kind ov sins.
 The obituary notiss ov menny an olt man iz only this: "John Doe, died, aget 94 years. .'''
 Speciaitys are what wins in this world a iak at all trades iz like man witt feas all over him, he iz too bizzy witt the feas to do ennything we'll.
 Yu will often see grate learning anC folly cluss together, for he who sees gratt things plainly iz often apt to see little things dimly.
 The fear ov the rod iz more powerpul than the use ov 1t.
 | Truth iz simple-so simple that the
 "Happy as a klam," Is very common comparison, but it always struk me az being rather klammy.
 If a man could git rid ov himself, soli- tude would be good place for menny ov them to go to.
 The devil always keeps the glide boards that leads to hiz dominions fresh and ill good order. ..s
 Thare are no people who git snubbed oftner than thoze who are always stick luR LllSH uOZ0S lhUO IubuI1Iy.
 If yu expekt to win with lie, yu hay got to play it quick. .
 Don't antisipate trubbles; if VIC will only wait until they cum we kan dodge half ov them, and the other half may dodge us. x. r.-. .M
 Yu kan sett still and gro wicked, but if yu expekt to gro virtewous yu hay got to git mp and git.
 Gossipand tea go together, and are the pekuliar privilege ov harmless old wlm- min who hay got past doing enny hurt or enny good. -'
 The heathen hay but flu laws, but they execute them every time.
 Thare iz sutch thing az being too aktive in bizziness; thare iz certain kind ov lazyness that often sukceeds the best.
 The basest kind ov servitude iz to be obliged to flatter thoze whom we kant help but dispize. --' -o'- ~.
 Diffkultys are like spooks-when yu cum to run them down they don't amount to mutch. q-.r.... ,..,... ..-
 Bold men are generally desperate, and timid ones are allwuss weak. I never hay cum akrost a man yet so modest who didn't think he wuz entitled to all the fame he possesst, and, if emy- thing, little more.
 Thare are but flu people who ever git rich enuff to enjoy their welth. se'- All the beasts ov the dessart, and all the snaiks ov the fields, are born free and equal, and it did always seem little funny to me that man should not be the same.
 Thare iz nothing more skarse than originality, and thare iz nothing that each person thinks iz so plenty.
 Common Report (i am not acquainted with the person Individuality iz one ov the gratest liars the world haz ever pro- duced, and yet Common Report haz been known to tell the truth when it could not be got at in enny other way.
 If man sukceeds yu kan find hundreds ov people who predikted it, and if he fails the same ones predikted that, too.
 Nature haz given birth to more horrid monsters ov men thap she ever haz ov beasts or reptiles.
 I hay seen people whom i thought were altogether too pious to be happy or to let ether folks be.
 Luv would be very tame affair, take all the spits and spats out ov it.
 Whi iz it that we kan all ov us giv such good advice to others. and follow it so poorly ourself2
 If yu don't want to make yure child a liar don t learn him to fear yu. | Old men are too apt to think that about all they are for iz to make mummy and save it.
 The man who pays debt promptly, in these liberal minded days, iz looked upon az being too fastidious.
 It requires more art to tell thing we'll than it dug to kreate it.
 Thare are but phew honest enuff to give good luk the share ov kredit that iz due it ill their suckcesses.
 We are told that "virtew iz it's own reward" and what blessed good thing it would be if wickedness would always git its pay in the same coin.
 I nm forced to say that the biggest phools that hay ever met hay been az wize and misterious az an owl.
 Nature makes all the heros and the gentleman, and owns the patient right.
 To praise phool makes him drunk.
 The luv cv fame, that exists in all men, iz strong argument ill favor ov the i'm mortality ov the soul.