Union and American. [volume] (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1875-1877, 1875-12-02

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l. He got of the morning train the
other day and meandered up into
the city, and stopped in front Of a
fine looking residence on Munson
street. He opened the gate, walk
ed up to the door, and pulled the
bell. In a moment it was opened
/ and he quickly stepped inside.
You see," he said to the astonish-
ed girl, 81 much prefer to do my
talking inside. 1t is so unpleasant
; to have the door closed in ones
face when only half through"
He walked into the parlor, and
the frightened-girl weAt to inform
her mistress that q sewing ma
chine man or book peddler had
gained access TO the house. The
lady entered the room, and was
greeted by the young man of cheek
as follows:
"They call me blessing-the
ladies do, and / IA. madam. !
am labor saving hsnefactor to
the whole sex. i liave little in
vention which | am introducing-a
perfect little gem. 1t is, madam,
a small silyer-plated, gilt point
concern, which will allow you to
wear the new stS lie of pull-hack
dresses as easily as the breeches."
mo longer, maslaine. will you
have to take your meals off from
the mantel-picce. Yon can sit
down as easily as in the old style
barrel-shaped dresses. When yor
travel you won't have to lean
against the water cooler. nor sit on
the sharp-edge seat arm. The lit
tie invention which will thus fa-
| cilitate your movement retails for
only $1.00. 1t is called the semi
cylinder, double duplex non con-
ducter, magical pull back dress
fastener" and he opened his satchel
and took out a half metal and
wooden concern. ami said, ''only
81! You place it under your skirts
in this way illustrating with his
coat tail and when you desire to
sit down pull the right hand
string, which you can have come
out in your pocket, and lOi down
you gently float until you reach
the chair. II you desire to get
into carriage drop the invention
by pulling this string, put your
feet on the spring, and You'll find
Yourself in the carriage in an in
stant.'
The lady called her husband to
see the new invention, and the
agent explained its workings to
him. AS the husbands eye fell
upon the agent, a wicked thought
flashed through his brain. and he
determined To be revenged.
This is q new invention" began
the agent, ito enable ladies to
draw back their skirts much
tighter than at present, and at the
same time, allow them to SIT down.
It is called the high tangled, draw
hack and squeeze t..ether, new
modWs sperGRdi. Ladies' say / am
labor-saving benefacter, that /
am an everlast-
"Wait." shouted the husband,
"please explain its workings
again. -.... -.
why, that would make = good
hay holster"
Yes" answered the agent "but
it is more particularly designed fo-
ladies'"
The husband sent for his daugh-
ter 10 examine the invention.
This is q new unparalleled, up
right longitudinal, square shaped
perpendicular, two degrees south
by one west, extra strong. sling
together and smash up. pull back
dress invention which am selling
for oaly 81. Ladies' call me a."
Hold on" shouted the husband
and father, until l call my other
daughter" and he waltzed ont OF
the room, and returned with the
hired girl and chamber rnaid.
You Sc ladies'" began the
agent, ''this is a fiop-over and
stand-you-up magical, traeical, two
strings to the right and one in the
center invention for pulling back
your skirts" and he went On for
half an hour, during which time
the husband slipped over to the aext
house and induced the inmates to
come over and hear the agent talk.
He returned with six women and
four children, just as the agent
was winding up for the fourtl,
time. Escorting one person into
the room at a time, he had the
agent tell each one about the Elm
ventiOn." He stationed small
boy out in the hall, with a lead
pencil, who was instructed to make
a mark on the wall every time the
agent repeated his story. Th.
stock he had brought in was ex-
hausted about noon, when he sent
4 messenger around the ward to
send in the neighbors, and the
agent was kept telling his story
without intermission till near mid
night.
As the sun disappeared behind
the Western horizon, the agent be-
I gan to show signs of fatigue. but
the husband was fresh as ever.
Eleven minutes to twelve O'Clock
the agent, who had just completed
his yarn for the two hundred and
sixteenth time, looked up and
gasped. A glass Of water was
thrown in his face, and the hus-
band told the boy TO run in half a
dozen more persons, for he thought
he could finish the agent now in
about an hour and half The
boy left to rouse up the ncighbor-
hood, to find half n dozen who had
not yet heard the story of the ein-
vention." When he was absent.
frequent stimulents had to be given
the agent to prevent him from
fainting. Shortly the boy return
ed, saying that no more neighbors
could be found, as they had all
gone on an excursion. The hns-
hand on hearing this Wos i'm do