The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-02-15
GOSSIP.
Human nature Is weak and frail,
Every day we hear the wall
Every day we SEQ 'em sail

10 the Jug.
you buy them by the yard and wear
out only by the loot. 4
string, and did anybody ever hear OF one
calling for whole one?
A cnap who has tried It says it 10 much
easier to get a good .for-noihiiig dog than
1t fs, to get a good dog for nothing. ..,.
Why DO people speak OF 'sgoing down
to the sea in ships" In the same breath
In which they talk OF the 'shigh seasr'
"ls that clock right over there :" asked
q visitor the other day. "kight over
thereY" said the boy, "'taint nowhere
else"
''Did you break that wlndowr' s.To be
sure did" replied Pat; ''and didn't ye
see me runnin' home after the money to
pay for iii" .-......
A ppnster being requested to give u
specimen OF his art, asked for subject.
''The king" "The king is not sub
ject," he replied. ,....
An old topper, on being asked why he
did not become teetotal!er, said his
brother got drowned, and he could not
bear water since. ,...., ..,..
Question for debating society: "If a
man has tiger BY the tail, which would
be the best for his personal safety-to
hold on or let gop ..-....... ,..t,-
On II recent rainy day wag was heard
TO eXcla.m: ''Well, my umbrella is reg
ular Catholic" How soW "Because
it always keeps lent" ....
''Pray, doctor, had your mother o
sonl' 'Let inc see; she had two daugh-
ters, but whether she ever had a son l.
really can not recollect." asa.
II say, Pat, what are you about
sweeping out the roomS" 'No," an
swers Pat, ~ am sweeping out the
DIRT, ana leaving the ROOM" g. sa..
Young women VINO are about to perish
for want OF some one TO marry should
bear in mind that woman in Troy has
just sold her husband tor two ceuts.
"John, l am afraid you have been for
geLJlns me-" said a bright eyed girl TO
her sweetheart the other day. "les,
sue, have been for getting you these
Two years" ....0. %.
Sally" said a fellow. to girl who
had red hair, "keep away from me, or
you will set me ON nre." mo danger OF
thal," replied the girl, ''you are too
geeen to burn" ..
"How charmingly naive she is" said a
young beau to "a ofusty old gentleman.
''kuave!' exclaimed tue latter, gazing
tnroush his spectacies toward the Co
quetlish beauty indicated, II should
say more OF IA IUol." a..
A young lady aiighted from stage
coach, when piece OF ribbon flew into
the coach. "YO. have lett your Detiu be-
ulnd," said Il lady passenger: mo, l
nave not, for he is gone a.tishing," re-
pied the Innocent damsel. ,,....
Perhaps the pickpuckets are the most
arlisLlk in the wuole proieshun. II liz
necessary that they should be TO a GER
vain extent genteel, not to atlraxt sus-
t,,si itII ar .
with a hand az soft and small az a wo-
inaR Sd osh Billings. ,
The ieliow who wants to know why
peOpie always snake their Brussels car
peLs in The front yard, and their ingram
and rag in some place not open to the
public gaze, ought 10 be suppiIed with
iuH supply OF interrogation points. He
was too lnquisitlve by half. 4
A colored preacher remarked: "When
God made the fust man, he set MIN up
agln The fence to dry" "Who made de
lencep interrupted an eager listener.
'sPut dat man outW exclaimed the
preacher; "such questions as dapd de-
struy ali The theology in DE world"
''Give us Il copper, yer honor," cried o
little street Arab OF ten years. recently.
"Be off with you'll replied the gentle
man; Il nave no change" ''sPlease, sir"
continued the urchin Ill the same nasal
voice ''d0 give us half-dimej Pve
lost halt an hour running after 5erV
A boy six years old, having been much
lectured by ms iather on the b0yishness
OF crying when any calamity happened,
cheered the parental heart, the otner
morning, by saying, Harry Bolton crled
nearly all day cause his iatAer died;
but il you should die, pa, l wouldn't cry
a Bit"
''John, stop your crying" said an en-
ragged tather4tO his son, VINO had kept up
an intoIerable yell Tor the last 1--WE min
utes. 'Stop, l say, do you hearp again
repeated the father after few minutes,
the boy still crying, 'You don't suppose
can choke of III minute, do youW
cried the urchin.
The other day gentleman gave a
couple OF cents to woman who asked
charity Of HIM. "Two centsp exclaimed
she, "Take them back, sir; ask for
charity. l can't do anything with two
cepts." "My dear madum," said the |
gentleman, s'l beg you'll keep the two
cents and give them to some poor per-
son." -}i
"Do you retail things here?" asked a.
green-looking specimen oil humanity, as
ne poked his mead into a store door.
Yes, SIR" replied the clerk, thinking he
mad got a customer. s'Then wish you
would Retail my uoS--ne nau ~ pltteH OH
about q month ago" And greeny |
strolled down the street with one eye
closed.
A boy once asked of his father who it
was that lived next door to him, and
when he heard the name, inquired if he
was tool. mo, my little friend, he is
not fool, but a sensible man; but why
aid you ask The question ~ because"
replied the boy, mother said the other
day that you were next door to a tool,
and l wanted to know who lived next
door to YOU"
In one of the courts, lately, there was
long and heated. discussion between
the counsel as TO whether witness
should be allowed to answer the follow
ing question:: "What did Mary sayw
Three judges took near an hour to de-
eide the point, and ut last allowed it.
The question was put to the witness by
the defense, and the reply was short and
sweet-sNot word"
The little boy who attented the theater
one evening will know, more about 1t
in the course OF time. At the end of one
of the acts he noticed the large number
of men who went out. Turning to his
lather, he said: ''fa, You won't 20 home
until it's out, will you" "NO, Johnny"
said the paternal, ''those men aims 60
ing home, either" Johnny wants to