The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-08-12
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


when it comes to panics.
They now make fans with pocket in
the handle to hold euchre deck. There
is, indeed, no limit to genius.
One of the hardest trials of life is to
shed tears at the news that your wite's un-
Gle has died and left her $4,000.
Half ton of raspberries are packed
and shipped daily during their season by
a small fruitpacker of Bangor, Me.
A man is 1850 times as large as a
common honey-bec, and vet it is useless
totry and argue the matter with the bee.
-" Furnish your own kerosene" says
sign hung to the door Of Leavenworth
man who had four marriageable daugh-
tiers.
The New York Times advises every
citizen who gets robbed to march the rob-
Der to the police station. That's sensible
advice.
1t is the Milwaukee Neps which dis
covers that the malleable glass will be
more like truth than ever, because it will
be elastic.
They wondered at the short collections
in Missouri church, and investigated to
find that one Of the collectors had tar in
the top Of his hat.
1t may be that an italian invented
the wheelbarrow, but this is the country
where the social standing of the vehicle
was first lifted up.
California people are careful people.
A murderer was cleared the other day be-
cause the charge read that he shot man
instead of stabbing him.
-Lynchburg (Va.) women allow no
tyrannical masculine assumptions of SUI
periority. Eleven Of them have been ar
rested for illicit distilling.
"A South Carolina woman took pair
of number seven shoes because she could
get them for the same price as number
threes, but you hardly ever find woman
as sensible as that.
1T is now fashionable in New York
to have negro carry the family infant
around in place of the nurse or governess.
If some aristocratic fool should 20 to
church barefooted there'd be lots of other
fools to follow his example.-Detsvit Free
Press.
Statistics show that the average lon
gevity Of lawyers is greater than that OF
any other profession or class. They have
more sins to repent Of than any other peo-
pie, consequently require more time, and
it is kind and thoughtful in Providence to
indulge them.
The boy that was too feeble month
ago to drag himself to school and home
again goes around now letting other boys
" feel of his muscle" has the appetite of
shark and plays first base in ball game
five hours day without in the least i'm.
pairing his energy. Curious, isn't it,
/, -"F you dare to play marbles for
keeps again." said Mr.. Hurtlescamp to his
eldest boy, ON whip you within an inch
of your life" And then Mr.. Hurtle-
scamp went on Change and lifted up his
voice at the call board, and raised his
hand and shook it in the air, and got red
in the face as he cried: "Sixty seveH!
sixty-seven! for $4,000 cash or August
Put up or shut up! Sixty seven cents
busheI, cash - "
in Scotland they have narrow, open
bitches, which they call sheep drains. A
man was riding donkey across sheep
pasture, but when the animal came to a
sheep drain he would not go over it. So
the man rode him back short distance,
turned him round; and applied the whip,
thinking of course that the donkey when
going at the top of his speed would jump
the drain before he knew it. But not so.
When the donkey got to the drain he
stopped all Of sudden, and the man went
over my, Neddy's head. No sooner had
he touched the ground than he got up,
and, looking the beast straight in the face,
he said: Vera weel pitched; but then
hoo are ye gaun tae get over yersel's''
The other Sunday Detroit minister
preached sermon on the sin of white lies
and evasions, and he flattered himself that
his congregation took every word to
his parishioners, and as he mounted the
front steps he heard one of the boys call
out: Nal ma! the preachers coming
here!" "Great landsr' he heard her
shout, /" and my hairs down and, I've got
and tell him ! went to Crosse Isle on
replied the boy. 'sGfoo-go quick-hurry
FOOT" she urged, and the lad went to the
making the call.-Detroit Free Press.
Not long ago gentleman living near
New York had barn raising on his place.,
In which number of his neighbors as
sisted. In accordance with old custom he
brewed for them with his own hands sew
eral gallons of punch, upon which, being
an expert, he expended much labor and
thought. When the Ingredients had been
combined to suit his taste he carried the
punch in bucket to the scene Of opera
tons, and invited the men to partake Of it,
They excused themselves for few mos
ments, wishing to complete their work,
whereupon he placed the bucket upon q
bench and retired. When abont half an
hour afterward the men prepared to do
"a iheg5 4.A9aTs.s.A ats