Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1875-02-12
II UMOR

WHAT BEFEL MODEST YOUTH IN A
CAR.-An exceedingly modest young man.
dressed in new suit of broadcloth, en-
tered Olive streetcar yesterday land blush
ingly took a seat by the side of nurse
with baby in her arms. The mother of
the babe, young woman of vivacious dis
position, and with visual orbs somewhat
marred by strabismus, had seat on the
opposite side of the car, where she could
gaze fondly upon her offspring and mark
the play of it's cherub countenance. The
sschick-a-biddy" was exhilerated by the
gentle rocking of the bobtail, and looked
at it's mother and croded and thrust its
fists into it's mouth. The young mother
responded by tender glance at the 'ssugar
plum" but to the bashful young man it
seemed that her eyes We're fixed directly
upon him, and he blushed scarlet and
wiped his face with his handkerchief. els
it fond Of it's new cosey?" exclaimed the
tender parent, unconscious Of the presence
of all except her child. Her face was
aglow with intense affection, and her ewes
ton, but, alas! they were looking in the
wrong direction, and beamed upon the
modest young man, as he thought, with too
much freedom. He wriggled in his seat
and tried to turn away, but another lady
was at his left, and he could not avoid the
gaze of the admiring woman opposite. sit
will be a nice little man by and by, and
have nicey mustache when it gets older,
and it will 60 to see the girls and fiirt witt.
them; won't you, darling?" And the eye
blazed and burned, and seemed to devon
the face of the young man with increasing
appetite. ''Does it want stick of candy?
Well, its muzzer'l II get it some when she
gets out at the corner; so don't cry, my
little darling" The young man was now
in a high perspiration, and being unable to
stand it any longer, seized the strap, and
giving the bell a dozen vigorous jerks,
rushed frantically from the car. He told
the first acquaintance he met that beau
tiful girl had made love to him ID the car
and that she was 80 far gone" that she
declared her passion in a street car.-St.
Louis Democrat.
Browsy Bunker Of Carmel loafed around
all day trying to get the highest bid for
his vote. He wanted three dollars; but
just as they were about to compromise OH
two dollars and a half, the sun went down
and the inspector declared the polls closed.
All he remarked was. 'sGreat Caesar! is it
possible | IN not in time to vote for the
Constitutional amendment prohibiting
bribery at elections.
We suspect that what most grieved the
young lady who represented Katie King in
Philadelphia was the fact that she was
popularity supposed to be more than 200
years old.
Congress has cemetery of its own, and
having far more criminals than corpses,
it is strange it doesn't have penitentiary
of it's own, also.-Courier Journal.
The obituary notice of a much respected |
lady concludes With-"In her life she was |
a pattern worthy to be followed; and her |
death-oh, how consoling to her Friends"
Inc SANTA CTuZ SeIlGlil02>' compares
that town be 1.-THE dimple on beauty's
cheek" More cheek than dimple, prob
ably.
A book has been published called "Half
Hours with Insects" The author was not
a regular boarder.
Men who travel barefooted around
newly caYpeSed bed room often find them
selves on the wrong tack.
Don Carlos seems determined to make a
great hustle in Spain, and that's why he
calls it Hispania.
The jewelry on the sea-shore is undoubt-
ediy salt-aiEe diamonds.
Many opinions go for nothing-it costs
nothing TO 'sexpress khem.''
1t is better to be alone ip the world than
to bring up boy to play on ap accordean.
| should call landlords poor relations
his tea.-dotrats. y
A stamp of civilization.-The postage
stamp.
Never trust with secret married man
who loves his wife, for he will tell her, and
she will tell her sister, and her sister will
tell everybody,