The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-12-01
81 q s.S-F ~ ~
Cox


Surprising power of endurance
q cattle droyer who had one ear cut
of by the Indians got up and walked
off on the. other. -
IT was an Irish editor who: said
that absentees were the curse of Ire
land, and added that this unhappy
country swarmed with them.
IA Russian proverb says-"Be-
fore going to war, pray once; before
going 70 sea, pray twice; before go
ing toget married, pray three times"
4AsItsle WhitetaIler, gazing qpt
on al an old picture Of his mother, ia
ken in a low dress, remarked, "Ma5
MAJ you yassmdst ready for bed when
that picter was taken"
4lAfBoIt Of lightning struck aItree
in front ofAa Chfcago alderman's
house, the other night, and in his
frightltteyadertba ian remarked, "Holil
on! I'll restore, the money ., ~.
LIT takes 'ein half an hour to get
theibig EhglishI cannon ready to fire,
and by that time a fellow could
dodge, heel it around The corner and
e.
tuck himselfs away dns "a dry goods
When a citizen Of Rochester is
bloyn.into, the Dire amy fhereafsers'b
a Kerosene lamp explosion, the gas
company officials -grimiy remark:
Comes O. fighting against honest
monopoly.'''n AZ, sr,.,s,,,,.. es,,,,
TEaT Division Irish builder (ttq
laborers aloft )-"How many Of yez
is>dp there9D Laborers Tin chorus)
-"Thresp. Irish .Builder-.f sure'
that's TOO many, half Of yez come
down; at once!F1'i 7,zsqrj T-s:lsI.J Sit
81 never sot my nlindito writin'
poetry till two years ago.. said a
young 7fiifalist, fitting back ~ "a ID
grocery chair; "bpt the minute Itook
to goin' with that johnson gal, l
couldn't help itw< a.,t. -
77sNotIs dat goH says s Ylt,l y, !
inquired Mr.. Schmidt, as he was
correcting his offspring withsa strap.
"Lsays1nedisgs, fadera VsfaFs but
1 knows Nvof you drinks; you drinks
dam" - ... -.
"That clock, stranger" said L a
Michigan farmer, ."was the best kind
of clock up to six months ago,
when my daaghtef2 began TO have
beaux, aud now tue blamed thing is
always two hours slow e ~ ssi3
--Longfellow isy working at new
poem He has written it forty times
orlmore, but he can't get it to" su it
and is too proud spirited to adopt
Guilds style and make the name
"Alice'' rhyme with CONSTANT
n0plQ+ 0TCTIltG sE2 z. !
Professor Park, being at Ply
mouth in warm weather, was lodging
in ta,bed that resembled Pekin, in be,
ing more popdIous' than con, Portable,
and he remarked in the morning that
heTneyerEbefore knewwhat was meant
byaslive geeseifeathers.a a:if .
There is a good boy in Lisbon,
if we may believe the Lewiston Jour
nal who, when lie found his aged
mothers Bible was Of too fine print
for her failing eye-sight, sold the
book and bought a base ball bat and
four sticks of candy. Y
The enterprise Of true journal
ism is illustrated by the case of the
editor of the Daily Index, published
at Belvidere, ILL.,, who, being horse,
whipped, got out an extra. containing
a full account of the affair." and sold
papers enough 10 pay for the arnica
and plasters.
"A case came up for trial in 4
French court, and as the evidence
was expected to be of a certain char
acter, the Judge intimated the fact,
and requested the decent women to
withdraw. Not, soul moved
"Usher," said the Judge, snow that
the decent women have withdrawn,
turn the rest out"
In the billiard saloon he found
that his adversary was too much for
him. 2 He said:T "Let us try a new
thing Let us 'blindfold each one
eye, and I bet I will beat" The
other man consented, for he was con-
1idcnt of his skill; buthe lost. With
theIbandage his opponent, played as
well as without, for he was blind in
one eye. s