Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-08-20

Tow liooD oN ArToGRAPHs.-A Autographs,
says lom Hood, are of many kinds Some
men chalk them On walls: others inscIibe
in ,undry cllors on the flagstoneS. Gentle
men in love delight in carving their auto
graphs on the bark of trees. as other idle
fellows are apt to hack and hew them on
tavern benches and rustic seats. Among
other modes | have seen shop boy dribble
bis autograph from tin Of water on a dry
pavement. The celebrated Mis- Bhn used
to distribute autographs among her visitors
which she wrote with a pen grasped be-
tween her teeth. Lord Cnest =rfeld wrote
autographs on windows with diamond
pencil. S) did Sir Walter Raleigh and
Queen Elizabeth. DracO, vixen Themis re-
quested a few sentences for her album,
dipped his STYLUS in human blood. Faust
used the same huid he blrtered with Mephis-
topheles. Some individuals are so cbary
of their handwriting as to bestow, when re-
quested, only mark or cross Others more
literally adorn a snecimen of their penman-
ship with such extraneous fourishes as
cork-screw, a serpent, or circumbendibus,
not to mention such fancies as eagles, ships
and swans.
Our grandmothers worked their auto
graphs in canvas samplers, and | have seen
one marked with pin-heads on huge
white pin-cushion, as thus:
WELCOME Sweet Babby,
Mary JO-es.'
When the sweetheart Of Mr. John Junk
requested his autograph. he replied that "he
would leave it to her in his will, seeing as
how it was done with gunpowder on his left
arm
There have been autographs written by
proxy. For example. DR.. DoGd penned one
for Lord Chesterfield; but to advise
stranger in this way Is very dangerous, con-
sidering how few lines may be twisted into
rope.
The Greek girls compound autographs as
apothecaries make up preseriptions-wit
such materials as flowers, herbs, ashes,
pebbles and bits of coal
With regard to my own particular practice,
have often traced an autograph with my
walking-stick on the sea-sand. | also seem
to remember writing one with my forefnger
on dusty table, and am pretty sure | could
do it with the smoke Of a candle on the
ceiling.
Domestic servants, | have observed, are
fond Of scrawling on tea board with the
stopped mik-also on soft deal dresser, or
the quicksilver side of looking glass. A
friend of mine possesses an autograph - Re-
member jim iIOskins,' done with red hot
poker on the back kitchen door. This, how
ever, is bard TO bind up.
In the meantime, as you have not afford
ed to me a tree or a table, paving stone or
brick wall, a looking-glass or window, a
tea-board or silver plate, a bill stamp or
back kitchen door, and in the absence of
| any particular direction for its transmission,
| think the best way will be to send it to
you in print. am, sir,
Your most ob't servant,
Thomas Hoop.
WoMAN'S DREss JUDGED BY One WHO
/ WEARS IT.-Mrs. Stanton thinks that men
do not appreciate the beauty of woman's
| attire She saws: Take man and pin
three or four large table-cloths about him
/ fastened back with elastic and looped up
with ribbons; drag all his own hair to the
middle ofhis head and tie it tight, and hair
pin on about five pounds Of other hair, and a
| bow Of ribbon. Keep the front locks on
pins all night and let them tickle his eyes all
day ; pinch his waist into a corset, and give
him gloves size too small, and shoes ditto,
and a hat that will not stay on without a
torturing elastic, and frill to tickle his
chin, and little lace veil to blind his eyes
whenever he goes out to walk, and he will
know what wOman's dress is.''-Mrs &an-
ton.