Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1875-03-18
'HOPPERS.
He Had Them the Worst Kind-I Reiief
Agent Meets trifh q Sympafhixer.
From the St Louis Democrntl

From the St. Louis Democrat.
He was from Douglas county. He
had eaten nothing but grasshoppers since
the 4th of July, 1874, and his stomach
was in an awful condition-it was full of
grasshoppers He could feel them
jumping about trying to find their way
out, but their toe-nails scratched his
alimentary canal, and a spasmodic move
ment of the muscles of his thorax forced
them back into the cavity before they
reached the root of his tongue. He had
left a wife and nine famished children at
home, and had gone to Lawrence to col
lect funds to save his neighbors from
starvation. He had not been successful
perhaps because his credentials were not
strong enough. And now, if the bar
keeper would accommodate him with
spoonful of whisky-it was the only thing
which would keep the grasshoppers quiet
in his stomach it kinder stupefied them
and caused them to lie dormant for several
hours, but as soon as they sobered up
they became as lively as crickets, and
played leapfrog in the pit of his stomach.
He had killed a great many of them with
whisky, but their eggs were all the time
Matching, and he believed there were at
least 10000 hive ones occupying the
space designed by nature for the labora-
tory of bread and meat and such things.
He had no money, but if the barkeeper
would trust him for few drops of crow
foot, he would remunerate him out of his
first collection for the sufferers. BY ad-
ding little peppermint and few grains
of sugar to the liquor, the medicine
would be made more potent or If there
was no peppermint handy, drop of gin
ger would do as well.
The barkeeper deeply symyathized
with the grasshopper-s stricken people of
Kansas. He pitied any man who had
grasshoppers in his stomach. If whisky,
and PEPPERMINT, and ginger, or anything
else his bar afforded, would relieve him,
he was welcome to partake. He could
accept thanks for SO small q favor; he was
only sorry he didn't lave whisky and
peppermint enough to destroy all the
grasshoppers in Kansas.
The barkeeper poured two tablespoon
fuls of the essence of Jamaica ginger into
a tumbler, added an equal quantity of
pepper-sarlce, shook in a thimbleful of
Cayenne pepper, emptied small vial of
sulphuric acid on top, and then sprinkled
few drops of tanglefoot over the mix
ture, and handing the tumbler to the
man, told him to swallow it quick. "
The grasshopper-plagued stranger
waited for no second invitation, but
poured the decoction down his throat at
one fell swallow
Chow did you like it," asked the
bar-keeper.
The grasshopperedi individual made no
reply. His eyes rolled in their sockets,
and the tears ran out of them in streams.
His mouth was open wide enough to
swallow the barkeeper and all his de-
canters. He placed both hands over his
stomach and cast an imploring glance
toward the water pitcher.
=" Do you feel 'em crawl % asked the
barkeeper in the anxious tone Of q sick
nurse.
The stranger made no reply, but con-
tinued to press his stomach and water
the floor with his tears
"Take some of this horse -radish, Z" said
the barkeeper ''i it will do you good. "
The stranger still made no reply, but
gradually his mouth grew smaller, his
lips contracted, and the air rushed into
his throat with q whistling sound, like
the winter wind through broken window
pane. At last the barkeeper took COM
passion upon his writhing customer and
gave him glass of ice-water to cool his
throat. When the stranger was able to
speak he looked reproachfully at the
medicine man" and said
"See here, stranger, if that's the kind
of stuff you give man for grasshoppers,
I'd like to know what in hell you'd give
Teller if he had tape-worm!"
FACTS ABOUT SHOEISG HORSES.
As the number of men who are CON-