davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14
Buying Butter.

When n Detroit woman finds that the
butter.dsh needs replcnishing she starts
for grocery with the firm determination
to die on the spot rather than be swindled
She knows just how 1.-The trade" manip.
ulates old butter to make new of it, and
how scraped carrots are used TO give
chalky butter the yellow tint which We all
love TO see. She Is on her guard from the
moment she enters the store.
Amy butterf" she asks.
Yes'm," is the answer.
ANY good butterp
"Yes'm."
z" It's really good butter, is it,"
Best in market How much will you
have 2"
"Lcmme see iti'
He hands her the cheese.knife, removes
the wet cloth from the topof a jar, and she
lifts the knife, poises il for "dig," and
then lowers it and takes long snuff al
the butter.
ooh, I'll warrant il" says the grocer
She steps back, plunges in the knife
and carefully hauls a piece Of butter to.
ward he. mouth, smells OF it, winks wise
ly, and then carefully puts her tongue
against H. After two or three repetitions
she nlbbles at the chunk, lets an atom dis.
solve in her mouth, and while che is tast.
ing the grocer says;
81 bought that butter from an old Gus
toner, and can recommend it,"
That's been worked oyer" she say.
agely replies.
Never, madaml That's new butter
not out of the churn q week"
Tastes To me as If there was lard in
it,
Heavens! madam, but / warrant il
purel"
l. the buttermilk all out, do you
think -
Think? Why, look for yourself
cit isn't that suet butter, Is it!'
"No. anyl No, madam, this is pure,
fresh butter"
"You warrant IL, do your"
"Of course do"
"And it's all like this piecef"
"All like that"
" No old butter under the crustf"
Not an ounce"
Dear, wish knew If il really was
good butter"
Why, madam, it's the best jar of but.
ter in Detroit. How much will you
haven
LETS see. You warrant this buttery'
II do
I" It's perfectly fresh and sweets
Sweet as the bloom of roses"
"Well, IL ! knew twas good I'd take
two pounds, but it'll probably turn out
bad, and SO | guess pound viii do. ~
Detroit Free Press
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14

On board Her Majesty's ship Euryalus
there was large black monkey with a
long tail for whom the master had par.
ticuIar aversion; he was convinced that II
would some day get at and iniure the
chronomcier, Of which he was in charge,
and he always kept his room fast locked.
One day, however, the monkey crcpt in,
carried of the thermometer and rushed
up the rigging with 1t In his hand, the
poor master following with the tears in
his eyes, while all the sailors In the ship
were set Ia try and catch the thief. High.
CT and higher they climbed, but still The
monkey kept above them, and when they
were within an inch Of him he dropped
from one part of the rigging 10 another,
with only glancing hold ON the ropes,
where nothing but four.armed beast
with u prehensile tail could follow. Al
last one active fellow climbed closer and
closer, there was no outlet right or left,
above or below, his hand was almost SELF.
ing the creatures leg, when suddenly the
beast, seeing he was brought % bay,
waved The thermometer vlciously over his
head, raised hts arm rs high rs possible
and then flung II as far as he could into
the sea.
A monkey on board another Queens
ship fell overheard In very bad weather
the sen was SO high that the Captain re-
fused to allow u boat 10 be lowered but
the feeling of the sailors for their pet was
80 great that at last he gave way. They
rowcd round and round In vain, and were
returning sadly up the ships side when
they saw the monkey, who had climbed
up by the chain of the rudder, mocking
and griDniDg at them for their useless
pains rs he sat on the figure.head.
Another monkey, one Joeao, on board
the $500, mich petted by the sailors, was
excessively Jealous Of white kitten, which
divided their affections with himself.
One day the man on the bridge saw him
creeping very stealihily around 10 where
the kitten lay asleep In the netting; sud.
denly he stretched out his hand and
chucked her overheard before anyone
could interfere. "Jocko," said the mar.
rator, apgrily, twas an abominable beast.
| could no, bear him; he used 10 &c,
drunk and play underhand tricks; still he
was not altogether bad. A spaniel on
board had had puppies, with which Jocko
was extremely anxious TO play; the
mother, however, would have nothing 10
say TO him and would not allow hum to en-.
ter her den. One day, however, she had
left her children alone for moment, and,
coming back, found Jocko sitting nursing
all the puppies together In his arms--great,
fat, heavy, numbering Jumps which he
could hardly lift" After this proof Of
good intention the dog.mothcr used 10
take her walks about the ship, con,eniedly
leaving her children In his charge, Jocko
seeming to consider himself regularly in.
stalled as nurse. Good Words.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14
The R0adrunner.

TINS peculiar species of the feathered
creation, known to no ether country but
California, and OF extreme scarcity, Is q
curiosity that we seldom see in DAYS
travel. MIR. l.. Tully, Of our town. and
Mr.. Mithel Of Califtoga, while returning
home last Monday, discovered one in the
road, running along, wings half extended
with the velocity of an ostrich. Although
not SO large, II has the ostrich's PECULIAR.
ties, runs like IT and, again, does not pos.
sess the power OF flying, but can jump in
the clear, by the assistance of its wines
from twenty-five TO forty feet, raisingseyen
or eight feet in Its jump. This is also a
characteristic OF the ostrich. which does
not fly, but, by tapping its wings and
heeling and toeing the dust, gets away
with the turf so as to astonish the fastest
horse. The roadrunner did the same
thing, and not only astonished Mr.. Tully,
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14

Everybody has observed how an aero
naut, who goes frolicking around in tb,
air In what he claims 10 be the cause oI
science, seems To regard the most appall
ing accidents 10 himself and the most fear
fol destruction Of other peoples propert,
viii, the same kind Of delight that an or
binary man would feel when he has for
tune left to him. Prof. Smart IL that kind
al an aerial navigator, and be was telling
nae the other day Of delightful yoyag,
he took a short Time ago In his balloon
lie said
1--WE went up from Easton --Stoncman
hob 1'afr and mysei--and II was the mos
magnificent trip | ever took, Perfectly
splendid. We got her full about twclg,
o'clock, and the crowd held her down un
oil we were ready, and then 1 gave tn,
word and they let her go, aud We went u
booming Into the air. One man got
caught IN a twist OF the rope as she gave
her first squirt upward, and IL just slammed
him up against a fence as II he'd been
shot out OF howitzer. Smashed In three
or four OF his ribs, | believe, and cracked
his leg. But we went mp just beautiful
about 800 feet, and while we were look.
ing nj the lovely scenery We ran into d
clock, and told Bob to throw over some
ballast. lie heayed out couple of sand.
bags, and one OF them accidentally fell
on Major Dicks hired girl, who was hang
Ing clothes In the garden, and the other
went sock In his chimney and cholsed her
nap. He was mad hs the mischief about ID
when We came down. No enthusiasm for
science. Some men don't care a cent
whether The world progresses or not.
Well, sir. we shot up about n thousand
Feet more, and then Stoneman dropped
the lnnch.basket overheard by accident
and We went up about four miles. Stone
man got blue in the face, Bob tainted,
aad lcame near being asphySlated myself
A minute more and we'd all a been dead
men, but gave the valve Jerk and we
came down whooping, When the boys
s;amc 10 Bob said he was sick aud wanted
so get out, and AZ we were only little
ways above ground | threw out my crap.
mel That minute q breeze struck her and
she went about ninety miles an hour over
some mans garden, and the grapnel
caught In his grape afDor, snatched II up
and pretty soon got II tangled In the
weaiher-cock on the Baptist Church
steeple. / cut the rope and left IL there,
and understood afterward the deacons
sned the owner because he wouldn't come
ind take II down Raised an awful fuss
aud sent the Sheriff after me. Trying 10
make scientific Investigation seems like a
crime, and me working like horse all
the time 10 unfold the phenomena OF ma
tare! IL they'd a loved knowledge more
than ignorance they wouldn't a cared ii
I'D a ripped their old steeplc off and
ranmcd her down like an extinguisher
ON top Of some factory chimney.
q So when we deposited the grape arbor
we went up again akiting, and Bob got
sicker, and said he must get out, and /
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14
Playing at Hanging.

A MARYvILLE Tenn letter in the Knoy
vile Press and Herald says: The little
children OF gentleman living near Mary
vile concluded few days since to have :
little fun by playing Webb. heaTange
ments as made and agreed to by all con.
cerned were about as follows: A Sheriff
was named who was to do the hanging;
one OF the party agreed to be John Webb,
who was to be hung by the Sheriff, and
when he had hung enough he was to hal
loo that the Sheriff and others might take
him down. The remainder of the crowd
were to be friends and mourners of Mr.
Webb. The arrangements all made ths
would-be Webb was launched forth BE-
twixt heaven and earth, with a promise to
halloo when he had enough, and the
friends set up a general lamentation ioi
their friend Webb, who was expected %
halloo pretty soon, but nary halloo. WEBB
continued TO hang, and the mourners con-
tinued their didoes, when the performance
happened to be noticed by some OF the
women OF the family, who arrived on ne
scene OF action in time to save an obita.
airy in the Maryville Republican. be !
said to the little ones credit that he was
dying like his predecessor-the genuine
John Webb--without as much as groan.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14
Smuggling.

The New York Herald, in an article on
smuggling, says;
The regular smuggling boats have dis.
appeared since the invention of steam,
but on the other hand steam Is put 10 the
use OF the smugglers, and that IL is done
effectively may be seen from the fact that
Il New York Custom House official lately
estimated that during last year $500 600.
900 worth OF dutiable goods had been in.
troduced To the United States without add.
ing 10 the revenue OF the Government.
This and several publications on the sub.
iect are causes Of the increased surveil.
lance lately exercised and the severity with
which seizures are treated by the Custom
House authorities here. II was recog.
nlzed as d permissible indulgence up to
within two years past that every one hav.
ing few dutiable articles In his or her
trunk after visit 10 Europe should not DO
molested. But the system grew to such
proportions that the thing had 10 be
stopped by some means, and new sys.
tenn was originated, and the officers had
orders where anything was possibly lin.
BILE TO duty 10 make IL pay. In many re.
spects the Custom-I House regulations of
New York are equal to any others i'm
force, even the French, which are suppos.
ably perfect. The same system of espion
age exists here which made the French
plan so much OF marvel TO those who
did not understand It's wofkings--that II,
ON every ocean steamer and Havana
packet there is some person In EN-.
ploy who is at the same time the
devoted servant Of the Custom House. In
some cases there are two and three. who
do NOT know each other. The stewards
are usually the ones who undertake the
work and do II best, as their opportunities
are so much better than would be those of
sailor, for instance. II has been known
that a subordinate officer has not hesitated
to increase his pay by the same means. 1t
IS simply the duty OF these people TO
closely watch the movements oil passen.
gers, to observe anything suspicious In
their movements, 10 overhear remarks
meant for private ears only, 10 be taken
into their confidence If possible. Why do
the customs officers visit the shoes. the
coat Innings, the pockets, etc, of some
people, while Others they leave intacts
The reason has been sufficiently explained,
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14

but Mr.. Mithel also, who was maL;.
terrific race On horseback afsa-s .
the object being TO run it down n, u
the race the roadrunner tool mug
low-limbcd trees frequently. jumnins uas
branch to branch, making it ieeidsJf,,.iie. 1
teresting as well as hot for the nn,1 u
as Mr. fully had to climb and driys !. sefs
II was finally run down and captured j. g4l
by Mr. Tully, but soon thereafter es - a.l':
from the box, and before it could h Pc
down again it was caught by the d. iua
unfortunately killed. In Southern f, s,o
fornia, where the character of the . oais
runner is better known, the Mexicans. o e !.
Indians never kill it. They saw tbst !; aug !:
the deadly enemy to the rattlesnake : !, !
mode Of warfare is one of iudemen, !. ~
fayorite mode OF attack being when ais
snake is asleep; it then gathers cac, aaS
and, after circling the reptile withi. :
thorny ring, wakes him up with nicL !, =
by dropping one of the thorny thin !,
him. The snake will not cross the CO. e
and he is sooner or later aggravated ~ ,
spring, when he falls upon the thorns 80
death ensues by nightfall.-S. H. -.
(Cai.) Star.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14
Betting on a Sure Thing.

HIRAM ROBINSON was rich and Jolly
bachelor. One afternoon, as they sat
smoking after dinner, Jim Clark, one OF
Hiram's guests, commented on the beauty
OF a new dining table which the latter had
recently purchased. It's the finest
black walnut | ever saw" said Jim, and
the only fault | have to find with it is, it's
just little too high. A table shouldn't
exceed two feet five, and this is at least
one inch higher" "I'll bet you,n said
Hiram, that this is only twenty.nine
inches high" Don't bet, Hiram; I'm
sure of it--formy eye, as have reason to
know, is always correct.p ON bet you
ESQ, Jim, that it's only twenty-nine inches
high" "Oh, If you're willing, Hiram,
I'll make the bet; but / tell you before
bsnd, the table Is at least thirty inches
high" OF course, Jim, if you're right
Ill pay the money at once. "Well, then,
fork over the coin. ] measured the table
this very morning, and it's just thirty
inches high, and Jim burst into fit of
laughter. ~ know you did, said Hi.
ram, :" for / saw you do it, and, knowing
what penchant you have for practical
Joking, Immediately suspected your OBJ
ject. As soon as you left the house sent
tor carpenter and had an inch sawed off
every leg, so you see, my dear friend
jim, that the bitter has been bitten. Hand
over the cash." Jim paid Hiram the $50
amid the laughter of everybody but him
self
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14
A Dream that Parted Man and Wife.

BUEDY has been married two weeks and
has left his wife. Bundy is little man,
and his wife weighs 240 pounds and was
the relict of the late Peter Potts. About
ten days after marriage Bundy was sur.
prised, on awakening in the morning, 10
find his better half sitting up in bed, cry.
ing as if her heart would break. Aston.
ished, he asked the cause of her sorrow,
but, receiving no reply, he began to sur.
mise that there must be some secret on
her mind, that she withheld from him,
that was the cause of her anguish, so he
remarked to Mrs b. that as they were
married she should tell him the cause OF
her grief, so, if possible, he could avert it
and, after considerable coaxing, he elected
the following from her:
Last night dreamed was single, and
AS walked through well-lighted street |
came TO store where sign in front adj
vertised husbands for sale Thinking il
curious, / entered, and ranged along the
wall on either side were men with prizes
affixed to them. Such beautiful men;
some for 81 900, some for $500, and son
to $3.50, and as had not that amouE !
could not purchase"
Thinking to console her. b. placed bis
arm lovingly around her, and asked;
And did you see any men like me
therey"
"Oh, yes" she replied, drawing away
from him, lots like you; they were tied
up in punches, like asparagus, and sold
for ten cents a bunch"
Bundy got up and went to see his law
yer if he had sufficient ground for divorce
EIcLaI0e
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14

-kite-tlying has been quite an cpl
demic Of late at Southbridge, Mass. Not
long since the boys in the spec.shop'i
raised a monster fourteen feet long, which
required several men 10 manage. A man
OF large proportions and heavy weigh,
offered to bet " that he could hold him y
The bet was quickly taken, and the too
confident individual tied the cord around
his waist and grasped il with his hands
but no sooner had he said "Let gop than
he went over walls and gardens, and was
glad enough, after yelling like mad. TO be
rescued from his perilous position.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14

The neighborhood of Reading, Pa
was recently greatly mystified by the mo
night wailings of an infant in tree.top.
Witnesses were Mortified to see the hue
thing suddenly drop and disappear, ana
then as suddenly reappear in its old posl'
ton in the top OF the tree, waning 80 DC,
fore. Many investigations of the nocturila'
phenomena failed to solve the mys'er1I'
until 1t transpired that the baby was mace
Of rags and worked by wires on the ay,
while mischievous young lady, who y
good deal of ventriloquist, did the cry
ing.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14

-" Won't you cut open penny for
me, fathers" said a little girl, when she
came home from school Que day. a. Cut
open ponnyl What do you want me 10
do that torYn asked her father. q Cause. /"
said The little girl, "our teacher says that
In every penny there are four iarihings,
and i want TO see thcm.n
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14

New HAVEN papers are now denying
that Ann Farley, of New Haven, who had
her scalp torn off two years ago, and re.
placed by pieces OF skin taken from several
other persons, enjoys fine head OF hair.
They say that, though the scalp is restored,
her head Is Us innocen. OF hair us a billiard.
ball.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14

IT is hard 10 believe, but the proofs aIs
convincing, that Chicago girl recently
wanted to marry burglar, in order. as sns
expressed it, to have soft thing U
making some kind of a show at silVs'
weddings"
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-08-13
Freemasonry.

=, There are two influences combining in
England just now to make Freemasonry
very prosperous in that country. One is the
G Cltter opposition developed against it in the
Catholic Church, and shown in an especial
manner by Pho NinO. The order is attacked
N Inc most il!-judged manner by Catholic
writer's. who either know little about IT. or
are guilty Of willfully misrepresenting it.
as result, Protestants, who hate and fear
h o,iM, EeI some good impressions of that
ooIy winch Rome appears to fear and hate,
an ana are, consequently, seeking admission to
.ne orotnerhood. The other influence is the
position taken in the order by the Pr;n. &c Of
males who it is stated has an enthusiastic
brother Leopold is also an ACTIVE Msson
ana many persons, including some eminent
cterg ymen, associated with the former for
the >, visit to India. are taking their degrees
SON SO inas thsy may visit Masonic lodges with
Express. o'h
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-08-13
MARKETS.
Domestic Markets.

NEW YORK, August l2.-The Posts tiuan.
cial article says: The Wall street market is
more active than yesterday and securities
are higher. Gold opened at ll3aa, ad.
vanced to ia. and has since returned to
ll3A. On gold loans rates have been ,, 3
and u cent y annum and l.6l y day
for use.
Foreign exchange is strong. and the
change in the Bank of England discount
rate has led to readjustment of the ates
OF sterling bills in this market, the sixty
day rate being marked up II a i cent. The
nominal rates are now 81 SO for prime bank
ers' sixty day, and 81 90le for demand bills
The money market shows little change.
Government bonds are steady. Speculative
shares opened y Ola above Yesterdays
closing, the latter Missouri Pacific. There
has since been au advance OF Is a l5s, the
latter Western Union Telegraph.
The extreme sales. giving the stocks in
the order of activity. have been as follows:
Western Union Telegraph Sis ASA;
Lake SAcre 81. I Union Pacific - q
53A; Pacific Mail 1895 a3es; Atlantic and
Pacific preferred lls4 a 1874; Missouri Pa
cific ASA 0i6i4; Northwestern 4las 04la:
Ohio and Mississippi 1874 a 1915; Erie l4A
a Is. and Atlantic and Pacific Telegraph 20
020h. Panama to-day sold at l3l.
Stocks closed dull and steady. New York
Central l04; Erie lass; Lake Shore 6Oh:
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-08-13
NEW ORLEANS REPUBLICAN, FRIDAY, AUGUST l3 1875

still bare of green peas. Light supply Of
beans. Northern beans are quoted at 31k
$40 y is: Western s607 v bbl.
WOOL-Coltinues dull. Clear lake is
quoted at 30 a SIC; Louisiana 25 23c; bury
II a leo Y rs.
MANUFACTURED ToBAcCo-Good supply
and fair depand. We quote: No. pounds
extra fancy 75090c: fine IS a roc; fine me-
sound 52055r; bright quarters, common
medium 81 060c; bright navy tours and
fves 81 a co.; No. l. fves and tens dark
black sweet So q Sic; navy pounds 520 SAC;
navy thirds s. a54c; fancy st~les, natural
leaf. twist. pancake. etc., IS 09oc.
Beef oitcn IN arketis quoted at 81 50
a IL Is y half bbl: Texas $l00ll 50 Y
Dbl: half hbls s. 501S; Western Sic p Dbl.
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-08-13

PI G. +. GIEARDEY. ArCrfONEEs-
- once No. 81 Camp street.-SATURDAY Sep.
TENDER Ia, 1875. At twelve O'Clock NJ. at the st.
Shares Auction Exchange. in the rOtupda OF tbs
st. Charles Hotel in this city, will De sold at pub
lie auction. by and in pursuance OF an order from
the Hon. A: L. Tissot, judge of the Second District
Court for the parish OF Orleans, dated the seventh
OF August 1915, and rendered in the above On.
titled succession. the following described prop.
TWO CERTAIN LOTS of GROUND, situated il,
the First District OF this city. and in the sauars
bounded by Common. Claiborne, Derbyny and
Grayisr streets. Said lots adjon each other and
are designated by the Nos and ,, on plan OF L.
H. Plll6 dated August 8. 1875 and posted in the,
cthce OF C. E. Girardey. auctioneer. The said lots
measure each * feet III inches lines front on Com.
mon street. by I21 feet 10 inches lines deep Th,
improvements upon lot No. 2, which is ne xt to ths
corner OF Common and Claiborne streets Comprise
comfortable double One.storv frame cottage
suitable Tor store and dwt liHg; and upon lot Mo-
double two story frame house also suitable fer
business and dwelling. fine neghbOrhO0d TO.
Investment; property can not fail to enhance
IeTms-One half cash; balance at one and two
gage on the property. bearing all the usual clauses
OF eight per cent per amman interest per cent
attorney . fees in the event OF suit the improve
ments to be kept insured and the policy trans
ferred, and the purchaser to assume the payment
OF all taxes for 1875, payable in 1876. and above
the price Of adjudication.
Acts OF sale before ". J. Castsll, notary public.
at the purchasers' expense. aua "a Fl 90 se4 II 10