Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-04-30

From the Detroit Free Press.

avenue, had a son about twelve years
old, named Claudius, and the other
evening this boy received permission
to allow neighbor's son to stay all
night with him. The old people
sleep down in the sitting-room, and
the boys were put in room directly
above. When they went up to bed,
Claudius had the clothes line under
his coat, and the neighbor's boy had
a mask in his pocket. They didn't
kneel down and say their prayers like
good boys and then jump into bed
and tell bear stories, but as the door
was locked the Brasscr boy remarked;
"You'll see more fun around here
tonight than would lie on a ten-acre
lot"
From closet they brought out
castotf suit of Brasser's clothes, stuffed
them with whatever came handy, tied
the mask and an old hat on for a
head, and while one boy was carefully
raising the window, the other was
tying the clothes line around the
''man." The image was lowered
down in front of the sitting-room
window, lifted up and down once or
twice, and old Brasser was heard to
leap out of the bed with a great jar.
He was just beginning to doze when
he heard sounds under his window,
and his wife suggested that it was
COW in the yard. He got up, pulled
away the curtain, and as he beheld a
man standing there he shouted out:
"Great bottles! but it's robber"
and he jumped into bed.
''Theodorius Brasscr, you are
fool!' screamed the wife as he mo-
nopolized all the bed clothes to cover
up his head.
"Be quiet, you old jade you!' he
whispered; perhaps he'll go away"
"Don't call me a jader' she re-
piled, reaching over and trying to
find his hair "Git up and git the
gun and blow his head OFF,
ooh! you do it.''
"Git up, you old coward, she snap
|
"I'll never live with you another
day if you don't do it!'
Brasser turned up the light, set up
in bed, and cried out:
''Is that you, boys?'
"Mercy on me! get up"' yelled the
wife, as the straw man was knocked
against the window.
"I'll blow his head off rs clean as
mildw said Brasser in loud voice,
as he got up. He struck the stove
three or four times, upset chair, and
reached behind the foot of the bed
and drew out an old army musket.
"Now then, for blood!'' he con-
tinued, as he advanced to the window
and lifted the curtain.
The man was there, face close to
the glass, and he had such a mallg-
nant expression of countenance that
Brasser jumped back in alarm.
"Kill him! Shoot him down, you
old noodlehead" screamed the wife.
I 81 will-by thunder! will" re-
piled Brasser, and he blazed away,
and nearly tore out all the lower
sash.
The boys up stairs uttered yell
and groan, and Brasser jumped for
the window to see if the man was
down. He wasn't. He stood right
there, and made lean for Brasser.
"He's coming in! perlice!-boys!
-ho perlice!!" roared the old man.
The tattered curtain permitted Mrs.
Brasscr to catch sight of man jump
ing up and down, and she yelled:
"Theodorius, I'm going to faint"
"Faint and be darned! Boys!-
perlice"' he replied, walloping the
sheet iron stove with the poker.
"Don't you dare talk that way to
me" shrieked the old woman, re-
covering from her desire to faint.
''Po-leece! Po-leecer' now came
from the boys up stairs, and while
one continued to shout the other drew
the man up, tore him from limb to
limb and secreted the pieces.
Several neighbors were aroused, an
officer came up from the station, and
search of the premises was made.
Not so much as track in the snow
was found and the officer put on an
injured look and said to Mr.. Brasser:
"a guilty conscience needs no ac-
cuser."
"That's SOL" chorused the indig-
nant neighbors, as they departed.
As Mr.. Brasser hung quilt before
the shattered window, he remarked
to his wife:
"Now, see what an old cundurango
you made Of yourself"
+ "Don't fling any insults at me, OF
I'll choke the attenuatcd life out OF
you!" she replied.
And the boys kicked around on
the bed, chucked each other in the
ribs and cried: