St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-03-05
A Youthful Thespian.

PAINFUL RESULTS OF HAVING FATHER
WHO WILL NOT APPRECIATE SHAKES
PEARE.
a few days ago young Gurley, whose
father lives on Croghan street, organiZ-
ed Il theatrical company and purchased
the dime novel play of Hamlet. The
company consisted of three boys and
hostlcr, and Mr.. Gurley's hired girl was
to be the Ghost if the troupe could
guarantee her fifty cents per night.
Young Gurley suddenly bloomed ont
as Il professional, and when his mother
asked him to bring in some wood, he
replied:
Though l am penniless. thou canst
not degrade me -
You trot out after that wood. or I'll
have your father trounce you,' she ex-
claimed.
The tyraut who lays his hand upon
me shall die" replied the boy, but he
got the wood.
He was out on the step when man
came along and asked him where La
fayette street was.
Doomed for ii certain time to roam
the earth :" replied Gurlrv in il hoar>e
voice. and holding his right ann out
straight
Il say-you. Where is Lafayette
street p called the man.
"Ah. Could the dead hut >pcak-ah :"
continued Gmley.
The man drove him into the house.
and his mother sent him To the grocery
after potatoes.
Il go, most noble duchess" he said
aS he took up the basket. "hut my good
sword shall some day aven%c these in
suits -
He knew that the grocer favored
theatricalS. and when he got there he
said:
AIT thou provided with a store of
that vegetable known as 'taters. most
excellent duke p
What in thunder do you want -
growled the grocer as he cleaned the
cheese knife on II piece of paper.
"Thy plehiau mind i dun of comprc
hcn>Iou - answered Gmlcy.
Don't try To ret off any of your non
sense on mr. or I'll crack Nour empty
pate in a minute :" roared the grocer
and Hamlet" had to come down from
his high horse and ask fnr Il peek OF
potatoes.
"What made YOU so long ," asked his
mother as he returned.
Thy grave shall he dug in the cv-
press glade :" he haughtily answered
When his father came home at noon
Mrs. tiurlev told him that she believed
the boy was going crazy. and related
what had occurred.
Il see what ail> him" mused the
father; this explains why he hangs
around John>on's barn 50 much"
At the dinner table Young Gurlcv
Spokr of his father as the .'illuStrinus
count. and when his mother asked hin
if he would have some butter gravy. he
answered:
The appetite of warrior cannot he
satisfied with such nonsense"
When the meal was over the father
went out To his iavorite shade Tree. cut
Il sprout, and the boy was asked To step
ont into the woodshed and see if the
penStoCk was frozen up. He found the
old man there. and he said
'Why, most noble lord. | had sup
posed thee far away -
I'm not so far away but what I'm
going to make you skip" growled the
father. "Ill teach You to fool round
with ten cent tragedies Come mp
here :"
For about five minutes the woodshed
was full of dancing feet, flying arms and
moving bodies. aud then the old man
took Il rest and inquired:
There, your highness. dost want any
more p
"Oh no, dad-uot a darncd lii ="
walled the Young "manager." and while
the father started for down town he
went in and sorlowfully informed the
hired girl that he must cancel her en-
gagement until the fall season.-De-
t'OH Free Press.