davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

HEAVEN. AND HELI.-A correspondent OF
The Winona R.pnjiicda, writing from st. Paul
says:
One of oar most eloquent and most pOpu
lar clerggmen has been giving series OF doc
trinal lectures, and on the evening of Sunday
before last he closed the course with an elab
crate discourse on Heaven and He'll The
church was crowded, and, as the story goes
the minister delegated one of his deaccns &
see if H. p. Hall, of the Dispatch, was IN the
house. The deacon being unable to find the
editor so reported, and the clergyman re
marked that in that case he thought he would
omi, the last part CT his subject The deacon
returned to the church, but soon FASTENED
back with the news that not only Hall OF The
Dipatcb, but Fisher Of the Pioneer and Drls
coil of the Press were present You are suF(
ihcy are here?' asked The preacher. Posi-
tive responded the deacon. Then Quo'l
ne parSon, his face beGmIng with satistac
Ion, RI gre them Weui'
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23
Answer to Correspondents

r....t.-To vurc lone letter nv three
,oros and two postscrip,s IN which yu ask
n'9 &c hnrsctrotiinr and borse.racinr hnz i'm.
,.,o hroed II horses answer ont iouG
| dnn't"think il Laz.
Tn rnan,ton nrnye 10 me that fine horse
kan blow more land, draw more stun 20 one
iGod or travel faster ON less feel than he
cnmil civtv.tive years 400 .
If he KANT nroye This he kant proye that
horse racine bnz been Nv cnnv ADVANTAGE to
Inrses or 10 men
Gnno5 N,ot Wv kant nso onIv to Gamble
viii Il tha same Kind nv Involvement that
,,,Hrl,rG lar1S and loaded dirr arr over the
niI .,iar
i,i,n soor,, -. ,,ost ,,i,,l, Ian, insist
~ ya,,as
'p C"tt' I'm nr u r ,r - t9T,,s most fine
r,1Il,, ;nCr so,,;,ry ftr ,'ry. linn hone
,n' WY, III. r,S.t ' ro ,cys al wake vou feel
; yA,; " 90 '-'0-' : "'' W. ga mon
OV',e. .,,.. oo,, o,o,,,, .ioo,,, Lo all.
-,.,, 90 ,,,l, '' >'''' 0''t '~'''
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

'D-N SPECIE PAYMENTS. The other day
we dropped an old fashioned penny in The
stove, accidentally. 1t got red hCt IN a min
ute. We took the tongs and laId 1t on a wood
bottomed chair to cool. just then one of our
regular exchange readers dropped in to spend
ii Gay with US in looking overeXchanges. lie
was talking OF the prospects OF Mcdonald
for the Senate, and as he came to the chair he
parted his coat-tail and sat down on the hot
penny, remarking: AS was saying, Won
Der II Crane will support Mcdonald in pref
erence to-Whoop! Thunder and blazes,
d--n IT, He got up very suddenly and
stepped around with amazing rapidity,
There was heavy aroma. Of burnt clothes
and tried meat in the room. Our friend
stretched forth his hand and said 'Henceforth
am a greenback man--d-n specie payment
i am for VOORHEES, - VthccHaeS Sun.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

WHAT Is \ SINNER Rev. AIR, who
had taken into his service, for general utility,
a poor lad, and of whose spiritual welfare he
was, of course bound to look out, desiring
one morning, to put in practice his benevo.
lent intent, he called the boy to his study, and
with visage Of the gravest sort, said:
Sam, do yoy know that you are Il SINNER:
Yes tateringly replied Sam.
DO you know what will become Of you i!
you do not repent"
Receiving no coherent reply, he launched
into repentance and redemption, encouraged
by the evident impression made by his words
and feeling no small cOmpuncton the while
that he had so long neglected a subject OF
grace so promising. At last vacant and
wandering look reused a sudden suspicion
to verify which he inquired:
Sam, what is sinner:
Imagine the situation when the subject OF
grace promptly responded:
Sinner, SIR? Yes, sir; sinners is strings
in turkey legs, sir.
The sinews Of the parsons lace relaxed.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

4 'CoLoRED' TALE-You can't always be,
icve what a man says, any more than you
ean Judge of his heart by the clothing lie
wears. The other night policeman in the
asst end grG5bed negro who came running
Town the street at full speed, painting like
. wlni.brOken horse, and the officer wanted
. Know why and wherefore the coloied man
was busting around - that lively style at
nidnight's solemn hour.
.Wite's sick--gwine for The doctor" gasped
tie man.
Where DO yoa 3ive:'
.Lemme go--csn't stop-she's nose dead /,
was the answer. yet in spite Of this the off
cor pushed the African up against the fence
nd sea-ch brought 70 Ugh, two chicken, {
r,otliesliue. Ratchet and a pair Of boots, tn,
sa,ne the property o; some other man.-Ds
frSit Pres.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

He was gong up jefferson avenue, satchel
IN nand. when he saw an old hat on the walk.
He deviated considerably from his course,
stopped close by the hat, and drew
back and kicked with all hrs might Some
bows gathered around him as he sat in doer-
way holding his foo: AMI grating his teeth
and weaving his body TO and fro, and they ex
planned to hlm that he never should kick old
hats in strange town.-lis,roh Free Pres.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

Milwaukee NcGs. The best of Christians
occasionally have rags to sell, and it grieve:
us to state, also, that the best of Christians
will sometimes roll an old ilat-irOn up in {
ragged shirt and chuck it down IN the bag
lust to give it ballast.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

4 gallant wag was sitting beside his be
loved, and being unable to think of anything
to say asked her why she was like tailor
I don't know, SAID she, With a pouting lip,
unless it is because l am sitting beside q
goose
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

An Oregon girl sent for a doctor TO cure
her of heart disease He told her to take
something. She took Peter, Sacramento
youth, and her heart now makes its regular
500 revolutions minute, and she is happy
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

Helen ~ Cooke writes that kisses on her
brow are the richest diadem wCmaD's soul
aspires to- And yet a young frlicy who
kisses Young lady on her brow ,Il!e her
rosy lips are making motions lihC . patent
cloihes-wringer is not the man tor Ia posi-
tipr
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

4 Holland Patent man, who has thirteen
pounds of spoiled picked work on hand, Is
anxious to have ther get up Il donation 't
some of the ministers around there.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

The man who dreamed that his aunt wa
dead and found that his dream came true
tried the same thing with his mother-ln-Iaw
but If didn't work worth cent.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

The world wodld be sandy desert OF lone,
someone's if woman were not privileged to
attend auction sales and pay more Tor an Oh
bureau than a anew chamber set wonld cost
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

Nothing recalls to the mind of the marric'
man the Joys of his single life so wildly a.
to find that the baby has been eating crackers
in the bed.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

Young America is very forward. III put
a head on you,' said little gamln to com
panion. You try it, was the quick reply,
and your mothers monkey vii! be a cherup
in ten seconds
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

why is advertising like the religion OF a
camp meetingg Because it is good to all
in.tents; and purposes to make you known OF
mea.'
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

There is a man in Haverhlll, Mass, who
claims to have traded horses thirty-seven
times and cheated the other man every time,
and yet when his wife died the other day he
promised to meet her in Heaven.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

4 Milwaukee man hid in public doorway
and jumped out and kissed wife his: She
didn't whoop and yell, as he expected, but re
piled: Don't be so bold, n -cr-tolks around
here know mer
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

And now the head Of the family, returning
from his club, through the chilly midnight
air, gently rolls his sleeping spouse over 10
the cold Side of the bed, and SINKS softly into
the vacated spot sigh witha of thankfulness.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

An inebrate man, walking along the street
regarded the moon with sovereign contempt
You needn't feel so proud, he SAID, you are
full only once a month and I am every night
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

What is the difference between a tube and
= foolish Dutchman One Is hollow cylin'
der and the other is a silly HollandeT.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

The mseries of life begin to Cypress us a:
soon as we leave our cradles. Heres a Troy
boy, for instance, asking his mother alter {
shad dinner, where did God hnd all tht
bones to make the first shad of
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

Reading the great Sturgeon declaration
a cigar is thing to thank God ior,' Navy
Yard school boy bought cigar. lie was al
forwards seen hanging over fence, but NJ
was not giving thanks.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

When is water not water?-When it's drip
ping.
What may be called the present time :
Why, Christmas.
What is a lamp-post with It's lamp taken
away:--A lamplightcr
Why is dog like tree because DOM
! lose their bark when dead.
| When is a fowls neck like \ bell Whcn
it is wrong for dinner.
When is n cook Catholic oiEcial--" hcl
she Is u tat fryer.
Why are umbrellas like pahcaNes DE
cause they are seldom seen alter Lent
What are they which, though always
drunk, are never intoxicated ?-loas's' '
In what respect does a locomotive rescm
bic IL dream In coming upon sieepers'
Why is a nervous lady like n policeman
Because her mind is filled with apprehen'
sion.
What word is that of which, if You take
away The first letter, all will still rcmaln?-
| Fall.
Why does butcher stuck splinlcrs Of wood
into his meat TO s'kcw'cr it for his cuslo.
mers.
WHY does widow feel her bereavement
less when she wears cOrScls because then
thc's soluced.
What is that winch person lakes TO have
and to get rid Of as soon as possible "A good
appetite.
Why was Robinson Crusoc unable TO get up
bn hadn't tlp SIX i'll
it required.
What is that which lives in winter and al
ways grows with its root upwards An lcicle'
Why is Gibraltcr one of the most wonder,
full places IN the world ?--Becausc it always
On the rock, but never moves,
What is the difference between market
gardener and billiard marker1onc minus
his peas, and the other minds his cues.
Why is doctor better taken care OF than
his patients Because, when he goes to bed,
somebody is sure to rap him up.
What is the difference between an auction
and II sea-Sick;man One is sale OF effects
and the otAcr the effects of sail.
Why are photographs always most unciyil
because when we make application for 4
copy of our portraits, they always reply with
a negative.
Why may carelessncss in skating serve as
an excellent introduction to society de
cause, when once the ice is broken you may
often dropln.
Grass wldows-The wives Of rowing bladeS
A maiden speech'-lcS.
Erect scratching posts, for itchwhcat CAKES
have come.
An eastern girl who tried to describe a
lump of coal weighing 800 pounds said: It's
| no "a; no ,nothnr's ovprSh hoes
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

An eastern girl who tried to describe
lump Of coal weighing 900 pounds sad; III
as biz as mothers overshOes.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23

Erect scratching posts, for itch-wheat CAKE
have come.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-23
GREEN'S MILL.

TIE above Mill good repair Tor doing both Merchant
and Custom Work; and the undersigned wish u generally
week They also grind the for TIE tenth Dushe
or Tor seven cents cash. -----.
Good Sabng in connection with the milk ana pfr-ohs
coming from distance stay In the mill u ey des!Is
thereby avoiding any outlay In money. -. -
Hoping BY Ipersopal attention to business % ie.l rs
heretofore, lihsral share Of your custom: - ,y,.
Dayton, H., Jan. l. lsi5.-lw ID. OHkLN q s'N'
Mississippi Democrat. (Hazlehurst, Miss.) 1875-1???, 1875-10-13

tie Government tie Abolition &C "a sl.ss a,,.l
uunsrcs-aiy oniu,s; rlaisrt.,sa IL .gsse. and
salaries o. thusr THAT ure retiinsh. wna strict
and rigid accountability a al ulissyts nsing
coniNa - rubiir n'oass 80 cla1-s~l With its
conurtiun.
PM Bieaiial = 49,. af IT, Lsei,lsiune
Hnd reau.Jpa OF cNIsuaes ia that dppaft.
iasi.t - ~ ti0yeruneat. ani Nc a ss,unce
uhe Republican party fpr violated pledge 90
this al bret
.si,th The ssleetlru q ~ ai.le AMI irrpar.
tail judl,i srg au1 ,al fuH. ItAe.. AZ ttAi.
cial t'us, tiuns purely. - that al tasnptstiua,
70 partnership CA the Beneh shalt lie ~
moved
seventh Di.contiuusnee n thsenar,snu.
Evil - s'atlal ana lucal letislaltlh. AMI IN.
stss'l tAs suas ti,as.i.t AZ grurrsl hus u.drr
which l"cal and private inicr'sts will w. fall,
pruis,tsd
Eighih Encouragement r. sgri. uliurr g.,
srs'irrs a." Wnutr anal lauartt a Iastf,NHrl
t"r thrif t.ilaHd rallial. aHd IN i irf~prn
hhrdeu .uiH' tnaiiuh Nl.,h rtirt CONSUME
thrir substance
Ninth Eneouarrnisnt y rnanuf..t,.r
ia oH mil.t
Tenth Elevation uf ihr standard M .r.
cial chara. e - a. g. iaf.. hgio usU,.isI T =.
tho seiAF 70 rdhilr Diet, aid .trrt uI ,,5t-.ut-
isin and integrity, a. thc yld thst L,steTuus. 4
Law and public autAoriiy may h. invested
With tnr moral iuhueno, and dignity ull ~
viii insure respect and uleslisnoc.
El',eftih We favor immedintr satlun Il
tho hrueral Guycr4msut e. tir lH,t.,ts y.
4 The Ai..issipIi river low iu8s .Hut
iuuuiallHn
Twclfth huili.u. - partisan y. s.5l4fs 4.
bN legtslaiinn. HrInin failitia ~ tiru, uf ,t.a
uncui .iitutluual attualts a. ttA, fpl. tfr
people H. election 4 Tax to.ls,l.s.. a..
attempted pa .ter ~ The metropolitan lts..r
htll. attempted corruption ~ De Iuli,iar,
" lhe u.r e ENesutsAe patronage. we da-
ht'liu,n e. rrH.s outrage. upua constitutional
liberty. " hilr o. e., ilrua, uf tle utter 49,
capacity e uur Irs.tt rulers ~ nAtnfti#i "A
tLe affair. ~ The State. $50 point e. the n,...-
e coHhi-iuu in wbi,h the revenue and regis
iatritiun laws % the State have l,eruu.a ~
Nubtd, The htrC-sity e ,Niraprlaar. s.s-
siuns n thc Legislation, Oh rUrr Nr lmnlrr.
Hud t''iif NJ iHr regular .r..1as. Wtd a. tla
repeated ex' elti, fud Legislative al. which
have herr Is co. Supreme Court declared
uucuustitutiaual AMI ,uid.
Thirteenth Thatvu cordially invite the
votes 81 all Tho people ~ hath rtcps g. unite
vigorously With a. 10 tho approaching car
'nss, "a determined rh,F. a. .i,r success
"a TIE iHu -Ulug piu.iplv. aui thu. secure
g. car -trr.tN tha blessings - au iuus.t.
economical government. administered D, m.
hsirni anil opmp't'ut utHorrs
Mississippi Democrat. (Hazlehurst, Miss.) 1875-1???, 1875-10-13

We learn from reliable gentleman,
whe re present at the court house
last night, that J. Z. Matthews made
a speech IN which he was very patri
otto 20 the Radical party. AMER de
voting a cool deal OF his time to the
Board OF Registrars. in which he
used some very hard language, he
pitched into the Dutch. and advised
the negroes hot TO trade with them.
lie remarked that the "I.amar" and
the Belgium rifles that hal been re
cciyod AZ this place, were brought
here lor the purpose of iutim.datlng
him, bat there Was only one way 10
intimidate him, and that was BY put
ting a load Of shot ia nj, breast. lie
al / that II il should ever come to n
war OF races ia this country, ne would
be found with the white people, but
when u was "A war between Dtmoc
ncy and Radicalsm, hc would be
found Ola the Radical side, anl was
ready 20 spill lis hearts blood for
that parly..l 4 very neat way oi get-
ting around ID riot shou' occur
hcrc) H. advised the negroes 10 let
their crops 20 and 10 attend TO the
pending cl3ction, Tor their future
ilppjue,. depended entirely on The
,Gcee-- 81 tLe Raiiua,i party.
Aa.sl .P. d. 1 unisAcl, thar MIA
moe p.r., Charley Oliver,
ana b. ,e.F abusive harransue
ag.l. y IT, l p,ntin party, in
Na..a /. alt tLe white people
Hsr. srva lrbanrae a,l over
w. State Ia @ black, furthc pur
Ia- %. E.'.H lt.n oil 80 that they
might Is ab.. d AIRY the election,
hu. u.a' t.s a.s So scs could not be
t.,a...
Mississippi Democrat. (Hazlehurst, Miss.) 1875-1???, 1875-10-13

ELfar BHacrHf.
| viii thank you for a lew inchc.
space Ia Your columns TO suggest for
the promotion Of the great cause.
lst. That general notlce ct the
great barbecue AMI torcbltht PRO.
cession fixed for the Both of tins
mouth. b. given by baud bills circu-
lated largely Ia every section Of the
county.
2nd. That each club ia the county
be specially requested (hy the IN.
Committed through ~ president to
come to ilazlchur't provided with
torches,
NY rvason Tor these suggestions
Is that hundrrds vi people Who do
not read the newspapers wnall h.
easily attractcd by aamLIg posters
and experience has shown that only
the Railroad clubs have made much
night display, aud unless special Mt
tcnti0n y directed Ia the importance
of the country Clubs coming prepar.
ed with lamps, a., these matters
may be neglected on the greatest day
aud night of the CAMPAIGN. Having
sugges~ed let me enquire: VIII the
procession he on horseback, and ia
bu- girs etc, as IL rumoreslg lat
these prcliminaries bc scttlcl 10 time.
BgACREnARn.
Coplalnn please copy.
We cannot answer the question Of
our Beauregard friend, as 10 whether
the procession viii hGup. hor~- back.
and bngsies, INT suppose that our
County Executive Committee will
arrange that "a time, and give due
Mnl.re.
Mississippi Democrat. (Hazlehurst, Miss.) 1875-1???, 1875-10-13
10 an wa zoe a. May Cenreo..

Ata regular meeting of lIazlc.
hurst tirgngc, No. p, Oct. o, 1873,
the following preamble and rc-olu-
tlons were unanimously adopted
Whereas, We have received mn.
doubted information that divers par.
ties throughout the county arr re
ccivIng AMI lrnding in sccd cotton.
corn, peas, potatoes, poultry aud 9TH
or produce. which articles are known
% be- stolen, by both buyer and sci.
Ter. Therefore, be il
Resolved. That n Patrons Of
llusbandry and law-abiding citizens
Of the State, we arc opposed To- this,
and all other illegal trafc. That Ne
advise all parties to refrain from 1t.
and that we will watch vigilantly,
and prosecute 10 the utmost extent OF
the law all persons engaged in such
trading.
Resolved, That this prcamblc and
resolutions be published in the coun-
~ papers, aud that all other subordi.
nate Oranges IN the county be re-
qucsted to adopt them aud assist in
breaking mp the evil complained Of
r. J. CATCHING, Master.
FLOYD FoRp, Scc'y.
Mississippi Democrat. (Hazlehurst, Miss.) 1875-1???, 1875-10-13

Tue lIaElehurSt Democrat haa
heard "fgmor" that the negro mi.
lltia" are 10 be sent 60 Copiah and IL
very soul Ia narrowed up. Lot it be-
reconcilcd, the rumOr he found
Judgement noN here but IN tic tlmid
brain Of the editor Daily Times.
The Editor Of the Times IN sadly
mistaken when IL thinks that our
"soul Is narrowed mp" by the rumor
that IL Is likely the militia will be-
sent TO misplace. The report came
from Jackson, and IL is very probable
that II. T. Fisher and his master
Adelbcrt, will concocl some means
by which this county can b. CARVED
by fraud. As io our brain being ann.
III, We can assure II. T.. that IL amy
disturbance should ever take place
in this county, We viii not be found
making such time 1rving from the
scene, ~ Fisher did nceing from
Clinton, amer he hal succeeded in
creating = disturbance there between
the blacks anil the whites. We viii
know II. T., ani we'll know that lac
not only has lhe most iInid brain #
any man ~ the State, but the mot
coNarllN legs.
Mississippi Democrat. (Hazlehurst, Miss.) 1875-1???, 1875-10-13
tue PLATF0BM .

The Democratic and Conservative people
of the state a Mississippi IN Convention as
ssmbled. invoking the blessing II Almighty
God ON tbeir efforts. and iviting cooperation
of I'll citizens q the State who favor honest,
impsrtisl and economical administration. 40
sdopt the following declaration o. their aims
end principiesi
ftrst-We Fecagnize @nd will maintain the
eiyii and political equality a al men, a. es-
tablished By The Constitution IL the United
States and amendments thereto.
kceond-We arr In favor Of the edncation
at AT ehildrcn q the Stats. Of public ehools,
Sustained b. adequate taxation. bot opposed
b. exir.yagAnt OF partisan administration Of
sad schools.
Thiri-Tae selection n only honest, faith
fal and compesani men for all Oasces, from
the highest % the lowest
Fourth-Eeonomy In the administration Of
Mississippi Democrat. (Hazlehurst, Miss.) 1875-1???, 1875-10-13

but three weeks moro Gnd the lay
will bc here that will decide the 10.
litical tate Of Copiah county for tlre
next two years. And who can
doubt what the result viii bcy Who
can doubt that "a" Radical party viii
hc ovcrthrown VI this county! Nv
cry Indication points = a glorious
victory for the Dcme.ratic party.
our entire county Is &c and en-
thusiastic. and every man seems de-
tcrmincd 20 10 hi duty Al MI. our
barbccucs, torch-light irroecsslons,
public meetings, etc, hey turn cut
On masse, aud show a determination
that was never witnessed IN this
county before. Now don't lee your
enthusiasm grow cold. Keep il up
10 a fever heat, and Or the 2nd Of
November, LET everyman work from
the rising Of the sun ugsii a y Oh.
-turcd NJ evening behind the west
ern horizon, aud vietcgyl glorious
victory! will perch upen the Demo
cratic banner, and we all hear the
dying sroan Of the Rassal party.
4-s- s*~
II seems that the tesehsrs OF tho
Radical party IN this county aEs
very anxious to create a disturb
ance between the blacks and whites,
aud hey make snth ineen'liary
speeches for the purpose q bringing
on n fight, so they-may have some
excuse 20 have troop sent 10 this
place. But we advise err people 10
be prudent. ltisoaly = short ume
until the election, ara slks oar nobls
old County win be l!dUi tiais curee,
Radieallsm.