Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1875-02-11

Life ON the ..Old MassasSipp.''
BY DAN DE QUILLE.
From the Territorial Enterprise.

Bully Arabia for New Orleans, and now
propose briefly to inform you why never
planted foot anywhere within five hundred
miles of New Orleans.
The story is of still another case Of cool
ness in the midst of wreck and disaster, and
principally relates to ''Pilot Wyle.'
The Bully Arabia, Captain Sam Bowen,
(well known at St. Louis and all up and down
the river) left st. Louis with 'all below full
OF hay in bales.
We cot off about the middle Of the after
noon all right and went bowling along down
the river at slashing rate. AS long as we
had daylight we did well-daylight and the
pilot who was then at the wheel.
Some time along in the night Pilot Wylie
was called up to take his watch. He came
up as full of Bourbon as the lower deck was
full of hay, but kept his mouth shut and
looked wise.
Captain Sam Bowen was-as all know who
have ever travelled much on the lower Mis-
sissippi-one of the mildest and most even
tempered men in the world. He was also
very polite and gentlemanly in his intercourse
with all of his officers and men. 1t appeared
to be positively painful for him to swear, but
sometimes, in the discharge of his duties, it
became necessary for him to do that violence
to his feelings.
Captain Bowen did not discover that there
was anything wrong with Pilot WYlie when
that gentleman came up to take the Wheel
We went booming along down the river at
a great rate, carrying Il full head of steam
and with Wyle at the wheel, turning it back
and forth in the most sedate and exemplary
manner
Presently we sloshed into the left bank of
the river against some trees and tore out the
barber shop.
Up rushed Captain Bowen, crying: ''Nr.
Wylie, how is this? You have been into the
bank and have raked out the barber shop"
eyes," said Wylie, 81 heard sort of rip
as bore off from shore"
On we went again for eight or ten miles,
when we slapped into the right-hand shore
and tore out the pantry.
Captain Bowen ran up to the pilot-house in
hot haste. ''Well, Mr.. Wylie," said lie, ''you
are playing hell tO-nght!'
Eyes" said Pilot Wylie, ''did you ever
hear such rafting of dishes in all your
life:"
Without deigning reply Captain Bowen
turned and went below, while Wylie went on
with his ''screwin' on her up" as Yankee
passenger termed the business OF steering the
vessel.
Away we went, bowling and screeching
ing back from the chimneys.
Wylie was industriously engaged in ''screw-
in on her up and in ringing the engineers
bells-''tap, tap, tap! now this way and now
that-only stopping occasionally to slip a
small flask out Of his pocket and take
nip"
Presently theengineer sung out from below,
through the speaking-tube
''Mr. Wylie, no man in the world could
make out those bells.''
''The bells are all right. Mind the bells -
sententiously answered back Pilot Wylie.
A few minutes after as we went zlgzagglng
down the river, we ''picked up snag that
ripped nearly the whole bottom out OF the
boat.
There we stuck, rapidly settling in about
eight feet of water.
Captain Bowen bounded up to the pilot
house and said: "Well, Mr. Wylie, my God!
sir, you've made killing of it this time!'
eyes," said Wylie, II think SO. Do you
see them bales O hay a-foatin' out of herr"
''She's down in eight feet of water, Mr..
Wylie," said the Captain.
about that, I should think, sir, said MIR.
Wylie.
After making this last remark, Pilot Wylie
'.lit out over the front, and going down into
the sstexas,' got his old fiddle, when he sat
down and went TO playing the "Arkansaw
Traveller" His business was finished, and
he was indulging in his fayorite recreation.
a nice mess we were in! However, about
an hour after the snagging of the boat, we
heard some distance down the river fearful
howl from steam whistle.
''The Glaucus. the Glaucus!" cried sew
eral Of the passengers in breath. mo
other boat has such whistle. 1t is the Glau-
Gus coming up!'
This was not the old Glaucus, at she was
burned at St. Louis in 1852 or 1853, but was
a new Gaucus built by the same owners and
provided with second edition OF the same
unearthly whistle which rendered the old
Glaucus famous all along the Mississippi.
Well. we made signals of distress and the
Glaucus came along side, when the passen-
gers were transferred to her decks.
'sMr. Clemens" said Captain Bowen ad-
dressing the pilot of the Glaucus-Samuel l..
Clemens, now better known as Mark Twain
-''Mr. Clemens, ] can hardly understand
how YOU could recommend Mr.. Wylie to me
as being good pilot"
81 recommend Wylie sober, not Wylie
drunk" dryly answered MI. Clemens:
"Well. YOU see what he has done with the
Bully Arabia He has killed her, sir!'
II see," said Mr.. Clemens, ''but he does
not appear to be utterly brOken-heartcd as l
hear him playing the same old tune that he
used to play when l was cub under him."
The Gaucus safely landed US at St. Louis,
and never again attempted the trip to New
Orleans, nor never again met Pilot Wylic,
who, for aught know to the contrary, may
still he seated in the ''texas" of the wrecked