Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-02-05
" The King Of the Lobby"
on THE ART OF LOBBYING, AND IHE rHILos
oPHY or GOOD DINNERS.
From Sam Wards Testimony Before the Ways ant
Means COMMITTEES,

ihc hihS Vi tnt LOpDl
oN THE ART OF LOBBYING, AND The rHTIos
oPHY OF GOOD DINNERS.
| From Sam Wards Testimony Before the Ways an
Means Committee.
The business of the lobbying, as it is call
ed, is as precarious as fishing in the Heb
rides. You get all ready, your boats g
out--suddenly there comes storm, AM
away you are driven. Everybody VIII,
knows anything about Washington know
that ten times, ay, fifty times, more meas
ures are lost than are carried; but once il
a while pleasant littlewind fall recompense
US who are always toiling here for the disap
pointments of the session. am not at al
ashamed, i do not say that am proud -
but am not at all ashamed of the occupa
ton. 1t is a very useful one. In England
it is separate branch of the legal profession
There they have parliamentary lawyers whC
do no other business. There the committee,
sit all day to hear these lawyers, and they
sit in Parliament all night, whereas here
committees are only allowed to sit for ar
hour and half and SO it is very hard to get
| through 1000 bills in a session. The disap-
| pointments are much more Numerous thar
the successes. | have had many very plea
SAINT " contingent knocked away when
everything appeared prosperous and Ger
tain, and | would not insure any bill
if | were paid so per cent. to secure its pas
sage.
In this subsidy matter was retained, !
| suppose, because the " Kings name is a
tower of strength and l am called the
- King of the Lobby" But | am not the
treasurer of the lobby, that is certain. Ii
you were here for entertainment, | could
entertain you with histories of wel,-concerted
plans, which all disappeared just at the crack
OF one members whip: perhaps matter of
caprice, perhaps matter of accident, you
cannot tell which We who are of the reg
ular army know when we arc whipped.
But gentlemen Of little experience come
down here, and peg and peg on till the end
OF the session, and never understand why
they had better go home. To Introduce a
bill properly, to have it referred to the pro-
per committee, to see that some members Of
that committee, understand its merits, to
attend to it, to watch it, to have counsel 60
and advocate it before the committee, TO see
that members Of the committee do eot over
sleep themselves on the morning of an impor-
tant meeting, to watch the coming in of the
bills in Congress, day after day, week after
week, to have your men on hand a dozen
times, and to have them a. often disappoint-
ed, to have one Of those storms which spring
up in the Adriatic OF Congress, until your
men are worried and worn and tired, and
until they say to themselves that they will
not 90 up to the capitol, to-day, and then to
have the bird suddenly flushed and all your
preparations brought TO nought-these are
some Of the experiences Of the lobby.
Another point-the question Of entertain
ments-is spoken Of. There is nothing in
the world 50 excellent as entertainments of
a refined order. Talleyrani says that diplo-
macy Is assisted by good dinners. At good
dinners people do not talk shop" but
they give people who have Z taste in that
waya right, perhaps, to a ask a gentleman
4 civil question and to get civil answer To
get information which his clients want. and
that can properly be given. Sometimes a
railroad man wants iniormatiln. sometimes
a patentee wants his patent renewed that
Is q pretty hard fight Then broker wants
to know what the treasury IS going 10 DO
about a certain measure. Sometimes q
banker Is anxious about the financial move
ments Of Congress, or a merchant about the
tariff. All these things We DO constantly
and we do not make any charge for them.
We keep up certain circle Of friends, and
once in a while an opportunity comes Of get
ing something that i of real service, and for
which compensation Is due and proper
But the entertainments are rroporti5uel to
the business Of the session. When the busi
ness Is good, 50 are the entertainments, and
when the business Is not good, the entertain
ments are meager. Mr. Irwin tod me =
story Of the king of Spain, who was lost in
the woods with his hunting party he order
ed one Of his attendants 10 climb tree and
see whether there was any building in sight
The man saw chateau on the top of an ad-
jjacent hill, and the king said. " Let Us 90
there" They went, and were received at
the door of the chateau by the grandec. with
his head uncovered. The king announced
who he was, and said that the PARTY wanted
dinner. The family had dined an hour be-
fore, and the servants had consumed every
thing that was left. The cook was sent for.
and said his majesty would he served in an
hours time. They had very pleasant din
ner, and the king was rather surprised at
the taste displayed in some Of the dishes
After dinner, commenting the excellence of
the repast, he asked what it was composed Of
Luckily it was not Friday. The crandee
sent for the cook, whe came in and said
- Your majesty, no animal has contributed
its life to your dinner, and he went to the
window and showed the king fifty-two pigs
with their ears cut of. Said the king "A
man who can makesuch repast as that from
the ears of filty-two pigs shall be made gov
ernor Of a province.
Mr.. Niblack-there is not a great deal OF
money wasted on good dinners?
Mr.. Ward do not think money is ever
wasted on 4 good dinner. If . man dimes
badly he forgets TO say his prayers on going
to bed, but if he dimes well he feels ike
saint