The weekly Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1872-1887, 1875-07-03
Oar Liar.

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Mr.. Dickens, in one Of his reprinted
pieces, very. faithfully and humorously
describes "Our Bore" a creature to be
found in every village and hamlet in the
world; indeed, so truly did he depict him
that when reading it l imagined that the
ooro l knew best must have sat for tho
picture. There is another character
equally ubiquitous with tho bore, and
possessing many of his qualities, which 1
shall make tho subject of the present
sketch. l shall write of sour Liar"
/ Everybody knows n liar. You see them,
meet them, every day. Go where you
Will, on the cars, in q steamboat, in q sa-
loon, to q circus, a town meeting, a public
assemblage Of any kind, or anywhere,
and you will find "Oar Linz the centre
Of a little coterie. lie is an orator in his
way, and very eloquent. He attracts men
like sugar does flies. You may not be-
lieve in him; you may dcspise him; but
you want to hear him, and when lie is
done you will pronounce him the greatest
liar you ever saw. There arc many kinds
OF liars. There is the profound liar, who
Is generally an old man with white hair
and sober micn. lie walks about with
a cane, and daily sits in the post-officc or
grocery. He tells tho kmost marvellous
stories of what he saw and did when n
young man, and speaks with such apDar-
ent cahdor and truthfulncss, that you are
compelled to say TO yourself: "I cannot
bolieve his story, but there certainly must
be some truth In it." Then there is the
shallow liar; he IS the fellow with exprcs-
sionlcss face and big mouth; ho lives 10
liei he never dcceivcs anybody, however.
he is as transparent as a clean window
pane. He never told the truth in his life,
! purposely, and you never expected him
to; he lies about the commoncst affairs of
life. He has seen u great many wonder
fui things that nobody else ever saw. II
was his peculiar good fortune to sec Il
Z white squirrel with three eyes that no
other human being ever saw. He oncc
hadin his possession n hen named "Betty, II
that raised six orphan pigs, and if Inc had
that hen now he wouldn't take n million
dollars for her nc sir, he wouldn't! When
that hon died there wasn't n dry eye in
the village where he lived. Owing to n
singular strcnk Of good luck years ngo,
he saw at Bucks County, Pennsylvania, a
man Mt q circus swallow q boa constructor
eight feet long. He wouldn't have be-
iieyedi 1t could have been lone if he hadn't
seen it with his own eyes. The other
people who were at the circus arc all dead
now, and the men who performed in it
arc all deads too; if any Of them were
living he could prove it by them.
Then there Is the itincrant commercial
liar. lie is keen, sharp and cunning.
You have seen him probably pcddIing
raZor-strops and paste, sir, that had won
the distinguished admiration of the
crowned heads of Europe. You have
heard him on Il strcet-corner vending the
: wonderful and sublime corn extractor,
which is instantaneous and pangless; took
tho premium ut the worlds fair aglinst
$4,000 competitors; Sc a bottle and recipe
thrown in. Or perhaps you have seen
him trying to induce tho pig-headed pop
ulaccN to buy the celebrated South Sea
Island Pile Remedy go cents n box),
which has been cxtollcd to the skies by
President Grant, Peter Cooper, Bismarck
n Pope Plus IN. Secret obtained from
IN aged Indian. Or you may have heard
him say to n gaping crowd: "Gentlc-
men, this is probably your last chance TO
get a bottle Of the world-rcnowncd, sub
timely famous and justly celebrated Wiz
ard Oil, which cures all diseases flesh is
heir to. 1t cures piles in fifteen minutes.
govt In sixteen, cholera in seventeen,
black tongue in twelve, spotted fever in
ten, headache and consumption in thirty
seconds. For Gods sake, my Christian
friends, do not neglect your physical well
fire. You are rapidly rolling towards
z eternity; only 81 per bottle; walk up,
: walk up, gentlemen, to the great fountain
Of health and drink from its exilaustless
depths. Any man failing to buy this re-
nowncd and illustrious medicine is muir
derer Mt heart only 81 per bottle, and
full directions Enclosed in English, Ger
man md French" Or you have seen
him in Il thousand other places lying TO
the best of his ability.