Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-10-29

A rush light.
WHEN hog roots in snow bank it,
nose knows SHOWS
WHY does cat run after rat? Bef
cause the rat runs away from It, v
JAY GOULD has baby two months old
and it is said that she can't squall fo'
over fifteen cents on the dollar. Al
"YoU look as fine as a hired girl''T-
the compliment Hudson miss OF tende' !
years payed her mother the other day.
"WAs not her death quite sudden!
said a condoling friend to a bcreavet
widower. "Well, yes, rather, for her'"
A blind English mendicant wears thi
inscription round his neck: Don't b.
ashamed to give only half-penny;
can't see. /.
"Charity begins at home" is well def
ned by little Sunday-school child a:
'giving to others what We don't wan
ourselves
1t is great comfort to bald-headed mer
in these red-hot, star-spangled, centennial I
days, to reflect that the eagle, too, ist
bald headed Style is nohair. Z
A man never knows what it Is to feel
alone in the world until he has grabbed
at penny on showcase window andk
discovered that it Is fastened to the lowers
surface of the glass.
You never saw my hands as dirty az
that" said mother reproachfully yes
terday to her little eight-year-old girl.
cause never see you when you was a
little girl" was the prompt answer.
A few days ago a Norwich man bought
a chest of tea in Providence, and on open
ing found a stone inside weighing nearly
eleven pounds He remarked that the
weights of Providence are very myster-
ious.
A young lady in Minnesota boasts of
having ten grown up brothers to watch
over her; but Norristown girl prefers to
have only one brother to watch over her
providing he is the brother OF some
other girl
A Village pedagogue, in dispair with
stupid boy, pointed to the letter A and
asked him if he knew it. eyes, SIR"
"Well. what is it," 81 know him very
we'll by sight, sir-but rat me II can :
remember his name"
Feminine Logic Precise old aunt
'It's no use, Emily; should never alter
my opinion of the young man, not if you
were to convince me ever SO much, !
don't like him,an even wild horses
couldn't make Ee. v
Danbury has the champion patient boy
He went to neighbor's house for cup
of sour milk. II haven't anything but
sweet milk" said the woman pettishly
'Ill wait till it eours," said the obliging
youth sinking into chair.
A iailor in Western State had received
strict orders not to keep his prisoners IN
solitary confinement Once when he had
two in charge one escaped, and he was
obliged to kick the other out of the door
to comply with the regulation.
Nothing is so discouraging to young
lawyer Just as he wakes eloquent angels
tears. weeping willows and tombstones,
as to be interrupted by the cold blooded
Justice with You're off your nest bub;
this is a case of hog-stealing."
Here is an aquatic fancy: An ingenious
miliner is decorating the ladies' bonnets
with prepared seaweed-far more
beautiful than artificial flowers Fash
. ion Note Glad TO hear it; because, you
sea, weed gives any thing for change
albaHy Argus.
\ sea Captain, off Massachusetts, has
caught a sea-serpeni. He espied it to the
1 larboard and gave chase Coming uT
with it, his vessel gave a fearful dig,
stunning 1t so that the crew could take it
up. Upon examatlon it proved to be OF
the species sugar hogshead,
The story that Mrs Sartoris' infant had
cut his first tooth is denounced by al
exchange as ''tooth in" 1t was, in fact,
tooth o lcssly accepted as likely. Alas
the little lady still knows "how sharper
than serpent's thank it is to ave
toothless child. Inter- Ocean.
.As TO being contiicted with the gout
sand Mrs. Partington; high living don,
bring it on 1t is incoherent in some
families: and is handed down from father
to son Mr. Hammer, poor soul, who
has been so long i'll with it, disinherits il
from his wife's grandmother
A man driving windbroken horse
along Bridge street Saturday, was hailed
by a small boy who inquired if the horse
was for sale The man didn't know but
he was. WALL" observed the little ras
cal, They'd like to git about such
critter up to blow the organ Sunday"
Exit small boy.
4 little girl Went into neighbors
house one day, where some apple-parings
Law on a plate on the table After sitting
while, she said Il smell apples
Yes" the lady replied, Il guess yor
smell these apple-parings on the plate
NO, no." she said, "taint them | smell
smell whole apples.
A very fashionable Danbury lady
tried to mount the steps in front oi
Merrll's grocery, yesterday but her pull
back prevented her Several times sht
repeated the attempt, but without sue
cess, while an anxious populace looked
on What do you suppose she then didl
Retreateds Oh no. She just turned
around, and went up the steps backwards
as easy rs could be.
II don't consider her anything but 4
pert, upstart hussy. She's got no taste
her clothes don't fit her: her bonnet's
perfect fright; she's freckled, wear,
striped stockings, and has wart on he.
back as big as pigeons egg, bitterly ex
CLAIMED lovely girl, hurting her croquet1
mallet on the ground, and glancing irl
the direction of her vanquisher, who was
proudly walking off the field with the
light of victory in her eye Brooklyn
Argus.
Remarkable wedding notice from the;
Milford, Mass, Ray: 'The large blue eyed
of the bride seemed brighter than ever
and with her light hair formed suitable
contrast to her husbands black hair and
eyes. This matrimonial alliance has nod
been entered into unadvisedly; it has been
in contemplation for about two years, and
meets with the most cordial approval of
of all the relatives and friends of the
newly married couple The brides mo-
ther regards her new son-inlaw as if he
were her own son. He will continue, as
heretofore, to be employed in the veget-
able-ivory button factory
A letter from Norwich, Conn.,, to the
Hartford Times contains the following
story as told by George W. Fuller, a sub
marine diver, who is in the former city:
"While performing some work for
Uncle Sam in one of the Southern ports