Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-05-12
ALI Sorts,

SOMETHING'S ABOUT DOGS fieas.
A DoUGHMEsTIC DIFF1oUIHY-heavy
bread
SPRING is on hand Lettuce have
peas
IMPROVING ONES TIME-mending the
clock.
IT takes pretty smart man to tell
when he is happy.
QUESTION FOR AcToRs-can an actor
be to work when he plays?
THE man who doesn't hang out his
shingle and advertise, dies and leaves
no sign.
THOSE who rise to eminence sudden
ly are very apt to come back by the next
train.
BAsHFULNEss is often like the plating
on spoons-when it wears off it shows
the brass.
A SPANISH proverb says GA kiss with.
out a mustache is like an egg without
salt.
WHEN fortune wants to let fellow
being fall the hardest, she lifts him up
the highest
The spelling mania is raging. Parties
of four in the cars turn two seats facing
each Other and spell.
MARBLE-ToP tables are unhealthy
according to the Herald of Health, but
it does not state their disease.
Boss TWEED doesn't think the treat
ment at the penitentiary very benign.
On the contrary he thinks it is 7x9.
"WHY do you use paint?" asked a
violinist of his daughter: "For the same
reason that you use rosin papa" Chow
is that?" 'sWhy, to help me draw my
! beau"
NEVADA ice-dealers are already pre-
| pairing to double their prices next sum
mer, upon the ground that the crop viii
be almost entirely eaten up by the grass
hoppers.
A Boston lady recently left a sum Of
money, the interest of which is used in
providing the inmates of the Home for
old women and home for old men with
a supply Of tea.
A YOUNG lady while out walking
heard, for the first time, her mothers
intention to marry again and she was
obliged to sit right down and cry about
it. She could not go a stepfarther.
IF George Washington himself had
only been cross-examined by Judge
Fullerton before he died, we have no
doubt it would have turned out that he
really lied about the cherry tree after
ALL
'Idiot!" exclaimed lady, coming
out of a theatre, one evening as a
gentleman accidentally stepped on her
trailing skirt. (Which of us ?" bland
ly responded the gentleman.
A BUFFALO engraver, who is not a
humanitarian by any great deal, has en-
graved an assortment Of medals for
spelling schools. We are not going to
give his name and address.
THE rumor that the horse which P.
Revere rode would be in the Lexington
procession was base hippophagicism.
(Rights for spelling matches reserved.)
Boston Evening Transcript.
The Tichborne madness runs SO high
ia England that Lady Radcliffe-the
cousin Kate Doughty of the story-has
been compelled to leave her residence
in Staffordshire in consequence OF the
brutal impudence of the people OF
the lower classes.
| y
making so many dolls pantaloons, my
dear Mrs. Jinxby." Mrs. Jlnxby-
ssThese are not dolls clothes my dear,
they are for the poor frogs who go ex-
posed in the water all winter III our
pond"
A CLERGYMAN in one of our Eastern
cites was met by seedy-looking man
with flask of whiskey in his pocket,
who inquired: ''Sir is this the nearest
road to the almshouse ?" ''No, sir,
replied the clergyman, pointing to the
bottle; ''but that is. %
l. Hon. EDWARD KENT, ex-Judge and
ex- Governor tripped on ''synonme' at
at the great Bangor spelling match, but
he entered heartily into the laugh that
followed. That is the way to AID fun.
A miss once in while adds materially
to the interest Of these occasions.
| WE read in the Bible, in the 18th
chapter of LIST Samuel and 19 verse, that
ssThere was no smith found throughout
all the land of Israel" OF course not.
All the Smiths were living In this
country at the time, and they have
wonderfully increased and multiplied
since then.
AN honest old gentleman from rural
country, who came down to New York
TO spend the Sabbath with friends, was
asked by one of them what the people
up his way thought of the Beecher
scandal. He replied that he never
tried it-that he and his nelghbors
burned kerosene.
NAPOLEON was one day searching
for book in the library at Malmalson..
and at last discovered it on q sheI
somewhat beyond his reach. Marshal
Money, who was present-one OF the
tallest men in the army,-stepped
forward saying: "Permit me sir; am
higher than your majesty" "You are
longer, marshal, said the emperor with