The Van Buren press., 1875-07-27
Hampton Smiths Revenge.


a euchre deck once, and next morning he
received a bad setback well laid on. She
captured his dime novels and burned
them She discovered his cigar stubs
and bits of plug tobacco, and the Ole
man asked him to step around behind The
house and see how the crop of sprout:
was getting along. One morning wher
Hampton Smith rose and found a hand
full Of gum drops gone from his righ
hand pocket, his brow was corrugated
for moment. Then Broad grin GOV
cred his face.
The next night he left some more gum
drops, and next morning they were gone
He didn't make any remarks, and his
mother looked as innocent as il she had
never shut her teeth On any of his con.
fectioncry
You just wait whispered Hampton
as lie walked around next day: you'll
see fun around this ere mansion before
you are many days ollcrn
That night Hampton Smith had the
usual amount of gum drops in his pant.
pocket, and be hcroically resisted the ia
clination to bend himself into the shape
Of half moon, and go to sleep after the
quilts had been drawn up to his chin
When his mother had reason to believe
from lapse Of time that her son Hamp.
ton was dreaming Of Sixteenstring Jack s
bold adventures, she slid into the bed
room, and went down into the same old
pocket. The gum drops were hauled
out, and as she crowded five or six into
mouth at once, she uttered an Mn m
m 7 to signify that the confectionery tic
killed. her palate, and Just met the views OF
her appetite.
She's standing on the verge of the
grave as it were!' whispered the dutifui
son, and he took 4 mouthful of quilt to
prevent the escape of an exclamation OF
delight.
Next day Hampton Smith made call
at drug store, and invested two cents
in drugs. and then he purchased two
ounces of gum drops. ensconced him
self in big box behind the street car
barn, and no human eye could see what
followed. He was, however, heard to
remark in an excited whisper:
If the old thing works it'll beat a
Fourth of July parade all to pieces
He gave his mother two or three gum.
drops that evening, as bait, and soon
after his father had started for the corner
grocery, the boy remarked that he was
awful sleepy--nevcr so sleepy in his life.
He soon slid into bed, and after selecting
. comfortable position. he called out:
Goodnight, my darling mothcro
Good night, my son, she replied, her
mouth watering in anticipation of the
coming feast.
The old clock ON the mantel slowly
and solemnly licked quarter Of an hour
into Times eternity.
Are you asleep, my son3' callel the
mother.
No answer.
Il guess he is she remarked to her
self, and she crept into the bedroom
seized his pants, and the gum drops were
speedily lifted out. She sat down, divi,
ded the dozen into two mouthfuls, lean
ed back her head, and Eve or six of the
drops fell into her mouth.
The curtain rises whispered the son
as he sat up in bed
She shut her teeth together, gavo a
sudden start Of surprise, and next instant
sprang from the chair with yell that
made the dishes rattle. She started for
the back door, her eyes having terrible
look, and her mouth resembling the en-
trance to cave, but she fell over chair
and rolled under the table, and yelled
Hump gosh - help-ooh - wup-
yah!
She lcaped up and jumped for the wa
ter pail, but it was empty She tried to
open the door, but Hamilton had slyly
turned the key and removed it. As she
was tearing around the room he sprang
cut OF bed, aud wildly inquired:
Mother dear mother, have you got
the hydro
'Oop- wa - door - dippcr - ush--
o.o-o-w! she gasped, splitting all over
him.
Spoke to me, dearest parentr he ex
claimed, racing round after her, it's me,
your son Hampy!,..
Water--oep! hoop she cried, pull
ing at the door knob
Lemme call dad Lemme Git a doe.
tor he entreated.
Her eyes were full Of tears, her face as
red as paint, and she danced around and
took long breaths of air as if she had .
nouthful of hot soup She pointed tc
the door, then into her mouth, and ht
finally got the key and let her out. II,
followed her. and as he saw her irnbibinc
copious draughts of water from an ole
tin basin, he remarked:
Well. l never saw such a case o.
tooth ache, before
When she had rinsed out her mouth
wiped her eyes, and could speak, she re
garded him with long, suspicion. look
and she glanced around az if searcbine
for the press board or the boot-iack
Is your tooth-ache any better, moth
err he kindly inquired
Yes, good deal = she replied in .
savage tone
Then guess I'll 60 to bed. again.
he continued, and he sought his innocen
couch, assumed cornerwise position
and erinned and chuckled and WHISPERED
gin eleven million dollars if Sam
farker had bin over here"
The old fashioned clock on the shell
stiii ticks the quiet evening minutes into
nours, and hours into the awful cbasm O
tne past. Hampton Smith still goes t,
bed at the same seasonablc hour. an,
curls himself into half moon position