Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1875-02-10
THE KINGS OF THE LOBBY.

rlIon-v Watterson, 10 Louisville Cour.-J our.
Esrlv one frosty morning, about thirty years
oan a. Col John Dade, Of VrgiDyaw, was
the Richmond Enquirer aud getting himself
tnSsthrr for the gln-cocktal which Pettbone's
n,;r,.r '.Sam," was about to prepare for him,
= Somewhat shaky Individual, wearing stove
ninx hat an! a striped wes;coat, bristled up
TO the counter OF the bar-yoom (they did not
call them ''s1loons'' in those days., where the
colonel, like other great men OF the period,
usually RECALLED himself three times before
breakfast. The newcomer was stranger to
the Yirgirian, who eyed him susplclousy over
his newspaper. But when he was politely
asked to step up and lckcr," his heart was
touched, and, with the potencss OF one who
has carried a silver-headed cane aud worn a
ruthed shirt all his life, the descendant OF Poca
hontas advanced and, with bland flourish, &c
cepted the proffcred glass of grog. 'Wh",
said he, "bave the honor of drinking with?'
The shaky Individual gazed a moment sadly
upou Sam, the mixer aud then, gathering res
ojutiop from the row Of demljohns and decan-
tiers around about him. deiau,Iy replied My
name is Felix Gluudy Mcconnell. | am mem
Der of Congress trem Alabama. My mother was
a justice cf the peace; my aunt kept stud
horse; and my grandmother commanded com-
papy in the Revolution, and fit the British,
damn their souls p Col. Dade drew himself
up to his iu hight, returned the glass nDemp-
tied to the counter and observed with much
solemuity: ''Sir, am man of high asplra-
tious and peregriua,iouS, and must deny myself
the pleasure Of drinking with you. L bid you
good morning sir, with which he gracefully
waved his hand and retired.
COL Dade discovered the Washington lobby
aud was It's first king. 1t was he who applied
to his friend, John Tyler, for a "sinecure, ;"
which he explained TO be a place uniting
plenty Of pay 10 no work. Tyler made him
SUPERINTENDENT of the District penitentiary.
His initial act whcn he entered upon the duties
of this post was to summon all the convlcts In
to his presence and to address them thus ::
"Gentlemeu, ahem have but few words
to say to you. 1t is my purpose to treat you
all like gentlemen As long as you treat me
like gentleman, you shall want tor nothing,
But if you don't dam ME, I'll turn off the
last one of you to root Tor himself" He died
the posscssor Of ''sinecurc" which Congress
provided for him, having been overthrow
from his royalty by the superior arts introduc-
ed into the lobby system during the ten years
preceding the rebellion.
at one time George Sanders was recogniz-
ed king of the lobby. Forney reigned fltuIly,
but with ar iron hand for while. Cornelius
Wendell, however, held his own longer than
either, operating on grand scale. He did a
deal of jobbing and made bushels of money.
The war came like an avalanche, and swept
through the lobbies. 1t proved revolution
izer, suppanting the old system with the new,
and converting a somewhat exclusive field OF
action into a wild mobocracy full OF male and
female adven,urers, each seeking to exceed the
other in exploits Out of the turmoil the fig
urc which has appeared most coospcuously,
assuming to himself, and not without reason,
the title Of king, is Sam Ward
"a man in all the world new fashions planted,
That hath mint of phrases in his BRAIN
Ifyou want anything done at Washington, you
must go to Sam Ward. Is it knotty case be-
fore the departments which everybody else has
despaired of and abandoned7 San Ward will
put 1t through for yon. Would you like to Sc
cure the ear of secretary, Senator or an en-
bassador? Sam Ward will give dinner and
you'll sit next your man. Have you bill before
Congress? By all means confde it to Sam Ward.
Do you seek an appointment No one can edge
in the righ word at the right time like Sam
Ward From stock operation, involving mil
lions, to neat little party of four at Welckers;
from tanning a refractory Congressman to tip
ping a glass OF champagne; from making
pleDipoteutiary to making pun. no man pos
sesses the ready grace of Sam Ward. This is
understood perfectly in the Dational capital
Go where you will, you hear nothing but the
echo Of this man s footsteps, his opinions, his
.dinnersaud his sayings. Have you seen Sam?'
'There's Sam" Sam just went over to SEE
-" "Oh, Sam II be here directly. J"
'Where the devil is Sam?' 'If Sam can't do
it, nobody can." "Sam'l fix it for you"
Sam your man. "Devilish good 'un Sam
got off OF Robson, eh p "Why, Sam is as
Intimate with Grant as two thieves" Sam s
politics Why, hang it, you don't take Sam tor
dam fool, do you? Sans go not politics !"
10 one word, 1t is with this royal parsonage as
1t was few years ago at Washington, with GER
tain princess -acaSe of Salm Salm, Figaro 81, Fl
garo la, from one end of the avenue to the other,
In the hotclS,ln the clubs,in the dwelling places
of the great and the expectaut, everywhere ex-
cept upon the floor Of the Senate or the House.
Alas, the lobby has its limits. The king of
the lobby eau no more pass those limits than
the king, in the fairy tale, who was forbid by
magic to cross the humble threshold of the
swineherd. Sam surveys these, and may say
with Pygmalion -
-"I can 60 far
And go farther-at that point stop,
To curse the bonds that sternly bold me back,
To curse the arrogance ofthose proud gods
Who say thou shall be greatest among men,
And yet iDfniteSinally small.
What is ii, you ask, that gives this man the
title Of king. aud invests him with royal pow
ers? Behold him as he enters drawing room,
solid, square built man, turned of SO, with
the short, crisp, gray hair of an aristocrat or
dipIomatist, the dgnifed port of the minister,
rose in his coat aud "a smile for each and for
ALL" A ruddy Monte Cristo; an intellectual
Iurveydrop; classic Jim Fisk. Talleyrand
without commission in his pocket and with
out crutch. Henry Clay or Junius Brutus
Booth matera,ized into struggling commoner
who must live, and has only his Wit to live
upon. His wit7 it is very scholarly end trench
ant tie is as apt and recondite as poor old