Weekly Trinity journal., 1875-11-27
KICKING a YANKEE.

A friend of ours who few weeks since
was kicked out of very comfortable Of
fee way down in the State of Maine, has
betakea himself to California for a while
to recover from the wound inflicted upon
his feelings by our unprincipled and inn
molating administration.
Change of air must have had an instant
effect upon him, for he writes us very
amusing letter in which, among other
things, he tells US of desperate quarrel
which took place on board a boat, be-
tween real dandy tourist and real live
Yankee settler.
The latter trod upon the toes of the for
mor, whereupon the former threatened to
kick the latter out of the cabin.
You'll kick me out Of the cabling ?"
" Yes sir, I'll kick you out Of this
cabin"
You'll kick me-Mr. Hitchcock-out
of this cabling ?"
Yes, sir, III kick you, Mr., Hitch
cock" said the dandy.
Well" said the Yankee, after being
satisfied that it was himself that was in
such imminent peril of assault, " guess
since you talk, you never heard me tell
about old Bradley and my mare there tu
hum ?"
"No, nor do l wish to"
"Wal, l guess it won't set you back
much, anyhow, as kicking is generally
best to be considered on.
You see, old Bradley is of them sane
timonious, long faced chaps who puts ON
a religious suit every Sunday morning,
and, with good deal of screwing, man
ages tn keep it on till after church in the
afternoon. Wal, he had an old roam
mare that would jump over any sixteen
rail fence in Illinois, and open any barn
door that hadn't n paddock on it.
Two or three times found her in my
stable, and l told Bradley about it, and
he was very sorry-an unruly animal
would watch her-and hull lot NV secl
things all SAID in serious manner, ant
with face twice as long rs Deacon Fara'
on II Sabbath day.
~ knew all the time he was lying, S,
| watched him and his old roam tn, an,
for three nights regar the old roam com
tn my stable aoout bed time, and jes
about daybrcak old Bradley would com
bride her and ride off. then jest tool
my mare down tn the blacksmith shop
and he'd sum shoes made with corks sun
four inches long, and had 'em nailed 81
her hind feet. Your heels, mister, ain
nothin' tu 'cm. l tux her hum and Civ
her about ten feet of halter, and tied he
to the center Of the stable, fed her will
oats about nine o'clock, and after takini
good smoke, | went tn bed, KNOWN
my mare was a truth tellin' animal, anC
that she would give good account o
herself in the mornin'. | wasn't fairly
asleep afore the old woman hunched me
and wanted ter know what ON air:h wa.
the matter out in the stable. Says /, &c
tu sleep, Peggy, it's nothin' but Kate
she's kickin' ort the flies, | guess
"Pretty soon she hunched me agin
and says she;
Mr.. Hitchcock, du git up and see
what is the matter with Kate
Lay stir, Peggy; Kate will take cart
of herself, guess
oval, about daylight thenext mornin
Bradley with his bride in his hand, Gun
tn the stable, and rs true as the book o
Genesis, when he saw the old roans side
and head and starn, he cussed and swor
worse than you did when | cum down OF
yer toes.
"Arter breakfast that mornin' Joe Da
Wis cum tn my house and says:
'Bradley's old roam is nearly dead
she's cut all tn pieces, and kin skurcel.
move.
Il want tu know says l, How o.
arth did it happen p
"Now while we war talkin', up com
that eyerlastin' hippercrit, old Bradley
and sez he:
Mr.. Hitchcock, my old roam mare
ruined
'Du tell, sez /.
She's cut all tn pieces du you know
whether she was in your stable the othe
night?'
"Wal, mister, with this l let out.
'Du | know it?'
The Yankee, by way Of illustration
made a sudden advance upon the dandy
who made way for him unconsciously
as it were.
SO Du know it, you no-souled, squash
headed old night-o@l, you-you fodder
Judging, hay hooking, corn cribbing
shaving, whiting Of nothing, you
Kate kicks like a mere dumb beast, bu
l have reduced the thing to a science =
The Yankee had not ceased to advanc
or the dandy, in his astonishment, to re
treat, and the motion Of the latter beinj
accelerated by an apparent demonstra
tion to suit the action to the word, h.
suddenly found himself in the social hall
tumbling backwards over a pile Of bag
gage and tearing the knees Of his pants
as ne scrambled up, perfect scream o
laughter stunning him from all sides.
The defeat was total a few minute
afterward he was seen dragging his trunI
ashore, while Mr.. Hitchcock finished hi
story on the boiler deck.