Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-07-29
VARIETY AND HUMoR.

stamp.
Children should be seen to. not herded.
FIN.
"A shirt on your back is worth two in
the bush.
"A bee in the hand is worse'n two in
the bush
| How to please lady-Let her do as
1t beats all how many book agents es-
cape death.
cit may be here remarked that astron-
omY Is the eye road to heaven.
Lovers will be pleased to learn that
August will have two moons
In what respect does Bishop resem-
BILE fish, Both live in the see!
AT recent spelling-match one man
spelled it "lasnin," and got beet.
Babies are described as coupons at
tached to the bonds of matrimony.
A topper is never good enough to eat,
but he may be drunk with impunity.
| A man whe is in health is not morally
entitled to anything which he does not
earn
Ben Franklin said he could tell nice
woman by the way she kneaded her
| dough.
New Jersey makes vagabonds earn
their lodgings by saving wood and pound
ing stone.
"A Philadelphia woman swore that her
husbands conduct was enough to "irrigate
| an angel"
Now the question is: Did the diction-
AIRY publishers get up that spelling mania
last winter?
why is woman living up two pairs
of stairs perfect goddesss Because she's
a second Flora.
-Lightningrod men have acquired a
new argument: spare the rod and you
spoil the chimney"
Too many sales con t,me' have ne
cessitated the closure of several Connecti-
cut clock manufactures
The Rothschilds all declare they
never pay for their putts, and yet one of
them smokes cheap sixtycent cigars.
Wisdom for women: 1t is better to
love man you can never marry than to
marry man that you can never love.
--Palm-leaf fans are becoming more
popular than any other at church, as they
eilcctually hide the most elastic yawn.
The State Prison at Philadelphia has
stopped cigar making, being unable to
compete with the Connecticut institution.
"A Boston man has run for office nine
teen times, and rs he has never been
elected he talks of Withdrawing his name.
Louisville had novel matrimonial
sensation a fortnight ago. A Chinee was
the he then, and lady of color the she
then.
"A fund of a million has been guaran-
tecd to be expended in proving the con.
tinuity of several of the Cottonwood (Col.)
mines.
Five thousand men gain an honest
livelihood in the West by gathering
buffalo bones Their song is gather
them in"
--Postmaster.Gen. Jewell Is in favor of
disseminating the letter-carrier system in
all cities having a population Of 100000
and less.
There is fresh activity in the Pennsyl-
vania OIL region. Many of the old wells
are still active and nine new ones have
been started.
"A fashion journal advertises that
there is little change in gcntlemen's
trousers this month" Perhaps they alludc
to the pockets.
In Burlington, VT, three churches re-
Gently were struck by lightning and a num-
Der of persons, who were at prayer meet
ings, were knocked down.
The honest man who tells his wife
everything that happens is matched by
the man who tells his better half many
things which do not happen.
Some one has discovered that the po-
tato-bugs steal rides from the West In
freight ears. They should be made literal
1pa1 hpn1s nc aopn aa thnv al iubt
The new navy uniform buttons up
close around the throat and the orthodox
sailor with his big open collar will live
only in the memories Of the past.
The Hartford Times gives notice that
it doesn't want any more specimen potato
bugs 1t will sift Paris green on the head
of the next man that brings any Of 'em.
The Mobile (Ala.) Tribune says that
two men recently dug up near the DEVILS
Bend, in Mobile Bay, an iron box contain
ing $4,000 in gold, which had been buried
there years ago by the pirate Lafitte.
"A round -shouldered, inquisitive man
kicked what he thought was an orna-
mental dog lying on step to see if it was
hollow. ltwasn't an ornamental dog, and
it wasn't hollow, but was there on business,
AM the inquisitive man is now rusticating
with his aunt till his leg gets well.
"A lively discussion is progressing in
Walla Walla, Washington Territory, be-
tween the friends and opponents Of a no
fence" law in that region II is the inter
est of large class of agricuturists who
may be called poor, against another class
of rich stock.owners who count their
flocks and herds by the hundreds.
A case of haunted house in Philadel
nj ia wos reccntIy filraI hy an aHy
minister who hearing unearthly sounds
Ill eli