Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-12-03
NUMBER 10.
MULTUM in PARVO.

THEY call him now {" Old Perhapsibili-
| ties" M
Gill let you off easy this time" as
the horse said when he threw his rider
| into the mud.
A WITTY Frenchman defines universal
suffrage as the art of multiplying several
rogues by many fools.
Boston is all run over by female pick
pockets who wear eye glasses and look
stupendously grave and literary. ~
THE first of the season-Ezra Goodrich,
of Phillips, Me-, broke through the ice
and was drowned on the 10Th of November.
A NEW YORK man Is trying to make
out that it is not wrong to pick chrome
dealers pocket, because he has pictures.
Amt this hard trials? A bill has been
introduced in the Wyoming Legislature to
prevent the carrying of firearms and con-
cealed weapons.
g How DO you define black as your
hat?" said schoolmaster to one of his
pupils. Darkness that may be felt" re-
piled the youthful wit. % aH
WHEN a man thinks thing is so when
it is not so-that is not case of heter-
ophemy;" no, it is little different, and
is called 'heterothinky."
BECAUSE an Indian woman is always a
squaw, does it necessarily follow that an
Indian baby is always a squawling p
Ne,o York Commercial Aduertiser.
THE difference between a tenant and the
son of poor widow has been ascertained
to be this: The tenant has to pay rents
the son of widow has not two parents.
CROWN PRINCES, even, may not fall
from their horses with impunity. Here
is the heir to the throne of Denmark suffer
ing from the disiocation of a foot in that
manner.
Mr.. M. G.. CLEMENT, of West Ames-
bury, Mass, has planted two acres of
land with chestnut and walnut trees, from
which he expects to gather a crop in about
twelve years.
THE text of the defeated candidate will
be found in the words following, to-wit
" Yesterday he kindleth great fire upon
the altar of patriotism; to-day he sitteth
down amid its ashes" I'D.
A SWEET little boy, only eight years old
bless his little heart walked into a
scene of a teachers examination at Os-
wego, and bawled out: "Annie, your tel
Ter is down to the housew
MAN is sublimely progressive. Thirty
wears ago it took the old man and all the
bows all day and half the night to kill
dress and cut up little farm lot of six or
eight hogs. Now man can kill 1000
hogs day. 44.. 5..,-
A CHESTER COUNTY (Pa.) woman
was recently convicted for stealing
eighteen ears of corn sand sentenced to
forty-eight hours Imprisonment. 1t cost
the county $227.32 to try the case, or
$15.044 per ear.
AN Oregon paper says that a clip from
the celebrated cherry tree cut by the father
of his country with his little Ratchet will
be exhibited at the Centennial. 1t may
be uncherrytreeable to say that paper lies;
but it looks that way.
"JOHN WELKIN, an English miser,"
says an exchange, "wanted to cheat his
mother; so on his death bed he ate up
bills to the amount of $150,000. The
numbers were registered, and the old lady
got the money back from the bank"
THE Fairfield (Me) Chronicle says that
prices are so hard and the prospect for
winter so discouraging that the French
population of Fairfield village are en-
gagged in collecting acOrns and Oil nuts
for sustenance during the coming winter.
REPORTS from fur districts are to the
effect that mink will be plentiful this fall
and winter, and some of the skins which
have been brought in already are of
large size. A ur-buyer who deals large
ly with the traders and trappers OF the OF
tawa Valley says prices will be reduced
from 10 to 20 per cent.
In a review of London pauperism, re-
Gently published, striking contrast is
drawn between the present state OF things
and that existing sixty years ago. Then
the number of persons relieved by the
poor rates was per cent. of the popula-
ton. Now it is only per cent The
population has more than trebled in that
time, yet the number of persons wanting
relief remains nearly the same.
"YoU see, grandmamma, we perforate
an aperture in the apex, and correspond
ing aperture in the base; and by apply
ing the egg to the lips, and forcibly in
haling the breath, the egg is entirely dis
charged of its contents BLESS my
soul,'' cried the old lady, "what wonder
full improvements they do make! Now,
in my younger days, we just made hole
in both ends and sucked"
A CITIZEN of Detroit left town with his
wife lately, for d short country trip, and
the oldest boy, youth of thirteen, was in
structed to hail some farmer and contract
for winters supply OF potatoes: When
the father returned the boy Elet him at the
gate, saying: I" I've got them Eaters, pa!''
" How manys'' " Ninety bushels in the
cellar now, and forty more coming to-
morrow" replied the exultant boy.
A SINGULAR accident which occurred in
Gretora, near New Orleans, recently,
came very near resulting in the death of
Miss Estelle Durand The young lady, it
appears, accidentally fell into vault,
and, as Providence decreed, butcher ON
the premises shortly afterward entered the
place. Hearing a moaning sound he at
first attributed it to goat in the yard, but
hearing the noise repeated he looked down
and saw human foot sticking out OF the
fetid matter He at once gave the alarm
to the girls parents, who tore the out
house down and rescued her almost IN
the throes of death.
Contested Seats.