American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-02-20
Is There ANY Fun in Skatings


"Come, old man." said he, "let's en-
JOY the poetry of motion; let's go with 1t
while were young, as it were; let's go
skating"
There's no use reasoning with this
man while laboring under one of these
attacks, and in weak moment con
scented and we were soon making active
preparation for an afternoon at the park
We first visited chiropodist, had our
corns trimmed and soon were moving
slowly but surely toward the park-o
one of our city lines OF horse cars.
Arrived ut the park, we proceeded at
once to where they have skates to let and
negotiated for "A pair each. We had no
little difficulty in finding fit, for neither
of us have fairy feet. 1t was with Il feel
ing of inward satisfaction that | noticed
my friend Bricktop required even larger
skates than | did, for he never loses an
opportunity for poking fun at my under
standings. and had been " chatting" me
all the way to the park, and in Il tone of
pity had asked me if l fondly hoped to
find pair OF skates large enough to fit
my grasshopper eXterminators.
After long search one of the men in
attendance produced pair of clubs, "
which from their size reminded me of 4
colossal skate l had seen suspended
across The sidewalks on Nassau street
for a sign.
They" fit beautiful" rs the boy who
adjusted them to my feet admitted
! looked across at my friend, who was
as vet unable to find pair large enough.
suggested that he charter pair of bob
sleds and strap them on with machine
betting.
But finally the boy brought out huge
pair of old-fashioned turnover" skates
with wooden bottoms, which might have
been built for prehistoric man, they
were so old and large and rusty. The
boy, with some difficulty, strapped these
10 my friends feet, and the heart of the
Bricktop rejoiced within him.
Being now possessed of the means of
enjoy we cautiously got on the ice,
holding fast to each others coat-sleeves,
and boldly "struck OUT for the middle
of the lake at the incredible rate of
speed of about mile day.
Now this rs fun, this isl said Brick
top. "This is delicious! How bracing
this air; how exhilaraling this motion
how-how slippery the ice is" and he
gave spasmodic lurch and suddenly sat
down upon the ice, pulling me over on
top of him.
MORAL reflection on fallen greatness
Why is it, l wonder, that the vulgar
herd laugh loudest when our tallest men
fall downD
When you fall down upon the ice al
ways pretend to tighten your skates. 1t
looks as if it were not your fault you
fell That's what we did in the present
instance, and each looked reproachfully
at the other.
We struggled to our feet and Bricktop
insinuatingly reached for my arm again
but resolved thenceforth to travel on
my own responsibility, and lodged the
issue, leaving him dependent on his own
resources.
felt revengeful, too, for the mishar
in which he had caused me to partici
pate, and l resolved to excite his envy by
making him a witness to my superior
skill. l essayed to cut figure of 8,
and succeeding after a fashion. aspired
to holder flights, and made an attempt tC
sign my name on the ice.
Never try to punctuate what you;write
on the ice with your head. l speak from
experience.
A facetious small boy shouted to his
companions: "Hey, there, fellows, looE
out! there's a shddder fallin'" And my
friend Bricktop was in ecstacies. l soor
after had the unspeakable satisfaction OF
| seeing him collide with stout party
| and from the way they both sat glarins
at each other and rubbing their heads
LII CT tatTc was SOInc udllldSe uOuc.
l became involved soon after in seriou:
| complications with a highly respectable
middle-aged parsonage who, it seemed
objected to being poked in the ribs will
| y cane.
told him that if he would notify m,
beforehand through the columns of on,
or more of the daily papers on what da,
| he would go skating again l would care
| fully remain at home or even leave town
if that would oblige him.
The next l saw of my friend Bricktol
he was walking slowly and sadly towart
shore with that peculiar gait habitual t,
held his skates at arms length in on
hand, while with the other he appeared
to be holding on the back of his head.
There was singular misanthropic ex
preston upon that usually benign coun
tenance, and knew that my friend ha,
experienced some new sorrow. | accost
ed him with: Whats the matter, oil,
party?" He answered with sigh tina
he didn't seem to enjoy skating mucl
shortly. But" he added, bitterly
don't let that spoil your fun"
q" Not at all, &" l replied. IL have ha
glory enough for one day, and 1 will g
too"
With feeling of relief we returne,
our skates to their owners and were 500
retracing our steps toward the horse
cars. Somehow my friend Bricktop ha
lost his enthusiasm and rather avoide
any allusion to skating than otherwise
In fact, we both said very little abou
our late experience, but "we bitterl
thought of the morrow"
We hObbled down the narrow path
and said each to the other: "Old fellow
when we rise in the morn how our bone
they will ache, and our bumps will
blue, black and yellow"
And it proved to be the case. Brick
tops physician informs me that m
friend will recover with the trifling los
of the use of his feet, which will compe
him to go through life on casters.
Every joint in my body is more or les
stiff, and my face looks like tattoOe
South Sea Islanders. l have just had
set of false teeth extracted from m
forehead by a painful surgical operation
How it got there am not quite clear.
have a dim recollection, sort of vagu
fancy, that during the afternoon cam
in contact with a young lady of u certain
age" There was a momentary odor o
cheap perfumery, conclusion, howl o
pain, and-and that's all l remembe
| abOutit.
The doctor is from time to time still
pursuing his investigations and is prob
ing and prodding about my Uranium
with a perseverance worthy of bette
cause Should he find any such littl
trifie as a wooden leg or even dolla
store it would not in the least surpris
me or convince me that there is any ful
in skating.-N. Y. Graphic.
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