Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1875-08-13
Atthe Soda Fountain .

He was rinsing his glases when
the old lady enter ed the store. 1t
was hot weather, and the soda foun-
tain looked so tempting that she
conquered her avarice and walked
over and told the boy that she would
take a glass.
Do you wish for a fly IN it? helm
qulred in whisper.
n fly, gracious! no! she replied,
look of disgust on her face.
Just as you say, madam he went
on and he drew some lemon syrup.
People are so different in tastes,
you know. Some object to flies and
some don't. Pll mix some pine-ap-
pie syrup with this lemon, and now
will you have a great deal of gas
and little water, or great deal of
water and little gas?
I'm purity thirsty, she said.
Well, then you want more water
than gas, and there won't be so
much danger of an explosion.
Explosion? she queried.
That was the word, madam. We
have had but few such acciden is
here this summer, and 1 truly hope
we may have nc. more.
Does soda water blow up folks?
That depends upon the state of
their health. Some people could
stand here and drink all day, while
others might get the glass tipped up
in this way, and boom! they'd go!
Bust?
Yes'm-fy into thousand pieces.
You never saw human being ex-
plode, did you?
Mercy no!
Well, you don't have the least
warning. They may be laughing or
talking, and all at once the store is
filed with false hair, monogram gar
ters, bustles, corsets, feet, teeth, and
rolled plate jewelry. 1t makes a
great muss round here, and if we
haden't three of the smartest ne
groes in town to pick up and sweep
out we'd have to shut up the store
for whole afternoon after an ex-
plosion.
He stood with his glass in his
hand agitating the syrup and wait
ing, and she said:
didn't suppose it was dangerous
stuff.
Well, as 1 told you, it depends on
the state of the system, If your liv-
er is torpid and your digestion i'm
paired, one glass of soda water
would blow you higher, than Glide
roy's kite, and the coroner would
be lucky to find as much as your
spectacles to hold an inquest on. If
your system is all right, you might
drink a hundred glasses and feel no
disastrous effects. Now, then, you'll
have good deal of water and but
little gas, eh?
She made depreciatory motion
and asked:
How's the stuff made?
Well, l can't go on and explain
all the process. There's marble |
dust, acid, gas, sugar-coated pills,
giant powder, cologne water and |
Kerosene all mixed together and
then distilled. The distilled liquid
is placed in a retort, where a chem
ical action separates it, and the gas
forces it up separate pipes.
Kerosene and pills! she gasped.
That's what said, madam. You
look innocent and honest, and l
hope you won't say anything about
it. l tend this fountain in order to
support widowed mother and sew
en- fatherless children. If you should
say anything I'd be discharged, and
if l were discharged l should com
nit suicide. You'll have plenty of
water, eh?
No sir, 1 won't, she replied. Do
you suppose I'd drink acids and kerr
osene?
Not in their crude state, madam,
but this process
I don't care for the process! she |
I wouldn't touch the stuff!
1t is mild beverage, madam, and
the doc
Well, 1 don't want any. When
l go to swallering tar and lard and
kerosene you'll know it! S'posen l
drank some and exploded
Don't mention it! he whispered.
Don't speak of it!
I am sorry for you, young man,
b,,+ Al bo,o3, a oon,4obJo l;,,;nc, ,;c,ht |
in sight of our house, and IL!
You'll drive me to suicide gra We
you mean?
She lowered her spectacles, took
a long look at him, and went out
without replying.