Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1875-10-14
A Provoking Bureau Drawer

The man who will invent bureau drawer
which will move ont and move in without hitcl
will not only secure fortune, but will attain t
an eminence in history not second to tho great
est warrior. There is nothing, perhaps (always
except stove pipe,) that will so exasrer.
| alto man MS a bureau drawer whie! will moi
shut. IL ls Il deceptive article. 1t will start of
all right, then it pauses at ono end while tic
| other swings in ~ far as it can. 1t is the Gus
| tom to throw the whole weight or the person
against the end which sticks. II Any one has
succeeded in closing drawer by 10 doing he
| will confer a favor by sending his address t6
| this oice. We have seen men do tlis seyera
LINES, and then run from the other side of the
| room and jump with both feet against tie oh.
stnato end. This doesn't appear to answer the
| purpose any better, but ii is very satisfying
| Mrs. Holcomb was trying to shut bureau
drawer, Saturday morning, but it was All abor.
| tive effort. Finally she burst iuto tears Their
Mr.. Holcomb told her to stand aside and SOC
him do it,
You soe,' observed Mr.. Hocomb, with quiet
| dignity. '' tl,at tho drawer in all awry. That's
what makes it stick. Now anybody but woman
would SEQ at once that to move drawer stand.
| ing in that position woull be impossible now
bring out tiis other. SO. Then take hold OF
both knobs. and with an equal pressure from
| each hand tho drawer moves easily in. 500 p
The dreadful ching moved readily forward for
distance OF nearly Two inches. Then il stopped
abruptly.
"Ah' I" observed Mrs Hocomb, beginning to
look happy again.
Mr.. Holcomb very properly made no response
to this ungenerons expression, but he gently
worked each end Of the drawer to and fro but
without success Then he pulled the drawer
all the way out. adjusted it properly and started
it carefully back. 1t moved as il it was on oiled
wheels. Mr.. Holcomb smiled. Then it STONED.
Mr.. Holcomb looked solemn.
Perhaps You amt got the ends adjusted" I"
suggested the unhappy Mrs. Holcomh.
Mr.. Holcomb made no reply. We're it not
for an increased flush in his face it might have
been doubted il he heard tho remark at all.
lie pushed harder at tho drawer than was ap-
parent to her, but it didn't move. lie tried TO
bring it back again, but 1t would not come.
=" Are you sure You have got everything out
OF here you wsnt2" he finally asked with a des-
perate effort to appear composed.
" Oh Mdfs what You are stopping. for s!it !?
But you needn't have got what wanted ;
you can shut it up. Then she smiled very
wicked smile.
He grow redder in tho face, and set his teeth
firmly together, and pnt all his strength to tho
obdnrate drawer, while a hard look cleaned in
his eye.
But t did not move. lie pushed harder
"Ooh, ooh" he groaned.
"rm afraid you havn't got the cuds adjust
cd, she maciously suggested
A scowl settled on his face, while lie strained
overy muscle in the pressure.
what dumb TOOL put this drawer together,
I'd like to know ?" he snapped out.
Sle made no reply, but she felt that she had
not known such happiness since the day she
stood before the altar with him, aud orange
blossoms in her hair.
"Fd like to know what in thunder You've been
doing to this drawer, JAMS Hole ,mb = he jcrled
out
81 amt done anything to it," she replied
81 know better" he asserted.
We'll. know what you please for all ! care"
she sympathizingly retorted.
The cords sweiled up on his mock, and the cor
ners Of his mouth grow white.
"Ill shut that drawer or I'll know the reason
Of it," he shouted and he jumped mp and gave
it a passionate kick.
40, my ~ she exclaimed.
He dropped Oh his knees again and grabbed
hold Of the knobs, and swayed and pushed at
them with all his might, But it didn't move.
"Why in heavens name don't you open the
window? Do you want to smother me :" he pas
sonately cried.
1t was warm-dreadfuv warm. The perspir-
alton stood in great drops OH his face, or ran
fS% d2S%4 into his neck Tic birds sang merrily out
ai.sss. sna NJ ssrtEs s bNf nc 7did not neIioe
them Tie woiiil have given five dollars il he
have given ton il he had never been born He
threw all his weight on both knobs. 1t moved
then. 1t went to it's place with a suddenness
that threw him from his balance, and brought
his burning face against the bureau will force
enough to skin his nose and fill hB ey.s with
water to degree that WIS binding.
Then he went on the back stoop, and rat there
for an hour, scowlipg at tho scenery. y.-DanburY
Mars