Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-01-01
Queer Conduct of a Corpse.

Clarksyilc Tenn, Letter to the Louisville Courier
Journal
Not many miles from this place, in
the year 1850, there lived an old man
"a bachelor-who had no one about
him but the servants he owned. He
was one Of those peculiar creatures
who seem to be born into the world
for the mere purpose of filling it up.
He was cranky, selfish, unsociable.
besides being ignorant of the sim
plest rules of politeness, and the most
commonplace civilities of life. His
principal trait of character was his
stinginess, which he carried to such
an extent that he would even allow
his entire crop of apples, which was
always an exceedingly large one, to
rot in his cellar before he would give
one to any of his nelghbors. He
would sell them at the market place
and in no case would he agree to de-
liver them.
One dark, rainy night in the month
of December, in the year above writ
ten, the gentleman, at whose house |
was visitor, was summoned to the
old mans residence, the messenger
stating that he was dying. Three
other youths besides myself, who
were spending the vacation with me
at the house OF the friend alluded to
above, suggested that we should all
pay the old man a visit, and $50 for
his apples" Ripe for anything in
the way Of eating OF fun, even though
it should terminate in "wake," we
Juveniles proceeded on our journey.
We found the old man dead; the
coffin had been sent for, and the
corpse was ready for the funeral.
We soon procured the key to the eel
lar, and the choicest apples found
their way into our pockets and stom-
achs with the greatest cupidity.
While we were "cheering the inner
man." the party overhead were put
ting the dead man and the apple
owner into the coffin. We returned
to the room of death, all looking as
solemn as if it was our own funeral,
and found several of the male nei Ugh
bors congrcgated.
"You're sure you got him screwed
down tight2." said one Of the neigh
bors.
EYES," said the other; but | am
afraid the screws are not long enough
to hold"
"Well, suppose we 90 down and
get some apples and cider?" said the
third.
"'Twon't do" said another; "if you
do, old B will turn over in his
coffin, surc.'
"Well, we'll try anyhow" said
No. l; and away they went. car
ried the light, and Smith the basket
and pitcher.
We fingered awhile in the cellar to
drink few glasses Of cider, when all
at once we heard a noise, rs if the
top of the house had fallen off, and
the sound of retreating footsteps
through the yard was like stampede
of cattle. 'Listen!' said l. "What's
that?" said Smith. We reversed the
order Of things quickly, | carrying
the basket of apples and cider, and
Smith the light Smith led me afew
lengths on account of my extra bal
last, but no sooner did he reach the
centre of the room than he dropped
the light and was out of the window
in a jitfv. | came in last, and was
dumbtoundcd at Smiths actions rs
watched his figure receding through
the window, The sash of which hung
gracefully around his neck.
At last l thought of my being
alone with corpse, and l began to
feel slightly porcupinish about the
head. The fire was low, but an oc
casional flame would flicker up and
east deathly glare around the room
During one of these "tlickcrs," | 90
sight of the corpse, and-grcat saints
alive! there it was sitting straight W
in the coffin, with both eyes wild,
open, staring directly at me! 1t il
unnecessary to say that followed
Smith, dropping an apple at ever.
few steps, as l drew it from IN.
capacious pockets. l never stopped