Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-03-18
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

20"
all cut in advance. at W. A## -
WHY is store that don't advertise
like Enoch Arden? Because it " sees no
sale from day to day9" aass afs -ssrea
MARCH came in like a whole menagerie
of lions. Unless the lamb and lion story
is lynn story he will go out like mill
ion sheep. rrrss
IF you were o Brien, of San Francisco,
you could lend your brother-inlav
$4,000, 900 and then have as much left to
keep visions of the poor-house away.
A DANBURY boarder, when the waiter
brought him a dish of onions, remarked
that his "strong holt" did not lie in that
direction, and ordered bottle of musk
instead
THOSE Delaware women have good
memories. One of them, who is seek
ing a divorce, states that during the past
three years her husband pinched her
1916 times. ....
A CORRESPONDENT of the Baltimore
San has found in Florida young girl
named Neuralgia. She was christened
after bottle of patent medicine which
her mother esteemed
On Cayuga Lake, in the State of New
York, during the past winter, the eXpan-
sion of the immense body of ice up
heaved the rocks and soil of the shores
to an additional height OF several feet.
A RHODE ISLAND COW tore woman's
mouth clear around to her ear, and her
husband at once ran away. He said it
was useless to think of contending with
a woman who was all mouth.
"Now, there's finished gentleman for
you," said fireman as he gazed upon
the pieces Of the engineer that had been
scraped up and gathered to his fathers,
after the last attempt to run train on
nothing.-St. Joseph Herald.
THE editor of the Placer (Cal.) Argus
has informed the editor of the Herald, of
the same place, that hereafter he would
settle all controversies between the pa
pers by personal meetings instead of re-
plying through the columns of his paper.
THE latest "sweet thing" from Paris
in the way of headwear is "the baby
hat" made in quite the infantile style,
with a soft crown and plenty of lace and
colored bows. 1t is pretty on young
faces, but may not become Susan B.
Anthony.
| If YOU want to please an Ohio man,
| praise his COWS Kentuckian, his horses /;
| an Arkansas man, his shooting; a Kansas
| man, his dogs; an Iowa man, his girls; q
| Wisconsin man, his feet; Virginian, his
family name; a Tennesseean, his mule
Detroit Free Press.
| NIAGARA FALLS is to have daily pa
per. Now, at last, the patient, meek
and suffering hackmen and the unOb-
| trusive curiosity-vender will have an
opportunity to ventilate the impositions
practiced upon them from time imme-
mortal by an arrogant and close-fsted
| travelling public.
| A YOUNG MAN in New York recently
picked up an envelope containing $70,-
900 worth of bonds, which he returned to
their owners, firm of bankers. The
| latter had just had their circulars
printed, offering $1,000 reward for the
missing bonds, but promptly cut down
the reward to 500.
| ACCORDING to DIR. Schmitz, diabetes,
that much dreaded disease, is almost al
ways the result of congenital pre-
disposition; mental anxiety, severe pain,
| injuries of various kinds, etc, whether
| they affect the nerves of the system or
not, being powerless to bring about the
affection without an inherited tendency
to it.
No! NO! not A thousand times no! It
must not be done. A Swede out in Sofa
no County, Cal, has applied to the courts
for permission to change mis- name from
Peter Azel Nystrom to John Smith, as if
there were not already John Smiths
enough to craze anyone who consults
directory to find particular John
Smith.
THE moon, which, as is supposed, has
caused many people to go crazy, is now
itself cracked. 1t is alleged by astro-
nomical observers that in some parts of
it the surface has recently become
cracked, and large assures radiate from
common center as from a volcano.
They are of vast extent, one of them be-
ing 600 miles long, from one to three
miles wide, and depth so great that no
telescope has yet been able to penetrate
the abysses. They appear to have been
formed by vast eruptions and upheaVals.
THE New York Juvenile Asylum has
just issued it's twenty third annual re-
port, and it will be read with interest by
those interested in well-doing. During
it's twenty-five years existence more than
1900 children have been received into
the institution, mostly gathered from the
abodes of poverty, exposed to the infu-
ences of crowded and filthy habitations,
with poor and scanty food, yet, owing to
good sanitary arrangements and whole
some diet, it has lost by death only
seventy-one children in twenty-five
years.