The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1875-02-04
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AsstlangsF fioSTS 3 z 9iis7 county s.:
serving an ordinary roller rule on the
table. took IL mp and inquiring its use,
was answered: 1T 10 a Tule for count
ing-houses." Too well bred, as he
construed politeness. 20 ask upneoes-
ssry questions. he t6rned it over and
up and down repeatedly, and at last,
in q paroxysm of bsfaed curiosity, in.
quired: "How. in the name OF wonder,
do you count houses with this?"
wee bit Of girl, while at the break.
fast table q few mornings since, made
loud and repeated calls for buttered
toast. After disposing liberal guam
tity of that nourishing article, she was
told that too much toast would make
her sick. Looking wistfully at the
dish for o moment. she thought she
saw way out of her difficulty and ex-
planned: "Well. give me anuzzer piece
and send for the DOCTOR"
Here is poet who says: "I'm cit.
ting sadly on the strand, that stretches
to tho waters brink; and as the day
slips slowly by. l idly fold my hands
aud think" Whilst he is sitting on
the strand with idle folded hands, his
family at home may be suffering for
the neoessaries of life. He should
skirmish around before the day slips
slowly by, aud secure Job at digging
q cellar.
Browsy Bunker. of Carmel, Ioafed
around all day trying to get the high.
est bid for his VOTE He wanted So:
but just as they were about to compro-
mise on 81 80, the sun went down and
the Inspector declared the polls closed.
All he remarked was, "Great C@sari is
it possible I'm not in time to vote for
the constitutional amendment prohi-
biting bribery at elections"
II Governor Chamber,ain's procla-
nation disarming the military organi.
cations in Edgetield County, 8. c., is
enforced. we ere not likely to hear of
any more rioting in that County. Gov.
Chamberlain has mapfully made issue
with the disturbers OF the peace, even
IN his own nparty-something rare in
the history of South Carolina since the
war.-New York Tribune.
REST AT LAsT.-Tbe venerable Miss
Ellz .beth Wright. known by all as
Aunt Betsy Wright" died in Spur.
ianburg. s. O., January 20. 1875, eyed
~ For many years she lived in the
Methodist Church lot, hard by the
temple itself, for which. outside and
inside, material and spiritual. she was
as member ever watcbful and jealous.
Charles Williams has been found
guilty at West Chester. Pa, OF libel
ing the pastor and officers of the First
Presbyterian Church of that borough
by writing letter. published in y
New York paper. charging the pastor
with gross immortality and the officers
with concealing it. William admitted
that he wrote the letter for fun.
"Make you a coat, sir?" said sua-
picious tailor to q suspected customer.
"Oh, yes. sir, with the greatest plea
sure" "There, just stand in that
position, please. and look right upon
that notice while ] take your measure. {"
Customer reads the notice: "Terms
cash."
Poetry is spoiled by the addition of
u single word. A young lady, after
listening to her lovers description Of
the setting sun, exclaimed, "Ob, AL
phonse! what soul yon have for art |
You were meaut for a great painterI"
Her father, unexpectedly close behind,
added, land glaz,er"
The heir to the throne of China next
in succession is d boy of three years of
age, and has been proclaimed Empe.
ror. The mother of the empress hns
been appointed regent during his mi
nority.
Two medical societies met in Port
land the other day. A car load of
grave stones also arrived during the
day. 1t is not often that the eternal
fitness of things sticks out in this man
uer.
Miss Dolly Pratt. OF Newberry, died
few days ago. after short illness.
Messrs. Isaac Herbert and James a.
Welch, of the same County, died last
week.
There's where q man has tho advan-
tage. He can undress in a cold room
and have his bed warm before woman
has got her hair-pins out and her shots
united.
A Cleveland yonth OF rather fast pro-
clivi les fell in love with a parsons
daughter. and as a clincher to his
claims, said to the reverend gentleman.
II 60 my bottom dollar on piousnes {"
centeel farmer in Massachnastts a