Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1875-10-01
II VINO e


ONE OF THE TRIALs-By AN EDITOR.
The scene is cast in an editorial sane
tum. The editor himself is very tired
He has communications to decipher. proof
to read, items to dress, and an auction bill
IT, revise. 1t lacks about an hour Of going
to press, and the foreman is lowering ner-
vously on the outsk irts. Enter beaming
visitor The languid editor and beaming
visitor exchange salutations. The latter
takes chair and thoughtfuIly inquiries if
the editor is busy, and is assured that ne
is not.
B. V.-'sI've got a good thing for your
paper; a tip-top joke, an want you to put
it inn
L. E.-(With a desperate attempt to APP
pear nterested), "Ah?"
b. Wits hot one, 1 assure you, an
Won never published better You see
there was lot of us in the hotel this
morning chatting away about one thing ain
another, and Bob Lewton Spoke mp an
says to me, 'Tompkins, if you was out in
the middle of a desert for Il week, you'd
get little of that fat off'n you, bet
'How's that?' sez [. You wouldn It get
anything to eat, you know, seq he. Oh,
YES Iwould, SCI [. How?' seq he. why
sez I, I'd eat the sand-which -is-there.
Ha. hal ha You had oughter seen him
look. You see the point, Of course"
L. E.-(Feebly smling). "Yes.
B. V.-(With renewed animal ion and
some anxiety. s'The sand, see?-,nAich
is-there: sandwiches there. ''Ha ha
no no. hee %
l.. E.-(Suppressing yawnJ. Pretty
good
it is. Put it in your next paper. Give 1t
a good place. wouldn't put in the fG
name; just say Tompkins; everybodyl l ows
me- I'm travelling all over the country,
an see all sorts, an I've got a good deal 9"
the comic in me, if / do say it. III send
to dot it down. Good bye--if YOU ever
come to Boston, come an see me-"
And he was gone.
The L. E. pressed one hand to his fe-
vered brow. feebly clinched the other,
moved his lips as if in prayer, and crawled
to his work again like a giant refreshed.
BASE BALL.-The following, which we
find in an exchange, illustrates the mania
for baseball playing, which is SO prevalent
in our midst:
ssWhat is the matter with your fingers?"
ssStruck with a ball and drove up, but
it's noble game,'' was the reply.
'Precisely--and your thumb, too, is use-
less, is it not?"
"Yes-struck with a ball, and broken.:'
'sThat finger joint?"
"a ball struck it. No better game to
Improve mans physical condition-it
strengthens ones snews."
ssYou walk lame; that foot, isn't it?''
mo; it is the-the-the, a bat flew out
Of the players hand and hit my knee-pan.
We had the innings"
some of your teeth Is gomez"
knocked out by a ball-an accident
'sYour right hand and your nose have
been peeled-how's thaL?''
ssSlipped down at second base-only a !
mere scratch.'
ssAnd you like this sort of fun?''
isGlory in it, Sir. It's the healthiest
game in the world, sir?"
In the course of Baptist doctrin..i SER
mon delivered in Greensboro, Ga, the rev.
efend colored preacher illustrated the diff
ference between the Baptist and Metho-
dist churches by relating an anecdote:
slSome years ago man 'fessed 'ligiol, and
piled to iine de Baptist church. He gin
in his 9sperience and was ,jected. SO he
went straight and jined the Methods !
Some time after dat Il brudder Baptis' axed |
him: How dis? We wouldn't hab you,
and de Methods dun tukyou. 'Oh,' says
he. you old Baptis' want to make me pay (
cash down, but the Methods gin me six
months credick. ;"
4 Presbyterian minister, while marry
NO g couple of rustic parishioners, felt ex-
,eedi1pgsy disconnected Oh his asking the
bridegroom if he was willing to take the
CONAN for bis welded wife, by his scratch
ng his head a nd saying: GAY, Pm wllllen,
ut I'd rather hae IeE sister,"
ssJohn, wish you'd close that door,
aid an irritable father to Ibis SON. @Ionr
mother must be scolding at the other eng
f the hall, there's such draft in that