St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-10-01
Squibs.

Intoxicating mu>ir Ale +" the
Chief
Di>rour>im" sweet music blowing
N"ui own trumpet.
The height of impudcnrc the length
"i book agent.
N"ncl"tN ldNcIti>cS for machine
"ill. l. she better llIan Il hand maid
Josh Billings says he will take the
stage this WimtrI; also. the railroad cais,
when they run his way.
Il have bought my FIRST MSi." WAS
the remark ut Il cohhlrr when he set up
business for himself We should have
Thought he would have bought last
HrNi.
If Young Ladies' wish To get stout they
should eat their food slowly. Haste
does not make waist IN such cnscs.-
D,hoH Nc,Cr.
.\n Ohio hoy swallowed fom or five
OF the wheels of an eight day clock,
and he has kept the whole family run
ming ever since the event.
1t was not exactly Il bank failure in
san Francisco the other day. 1t WAS
the collapse of an inflated gambling
house. CiHcimHdH CommcrcidI.
When they catch Il man gathering
Delaware peaches at midnight they
preserve whatever good traits he has
in him 10y shooting half Il pint of salt
int" his legs.
An Engli>hman is trying to find out.
you know, why the double bass viol
player ot an orchestra is always bald
headed. Perhaps it is because the lead
im% violin takes the air.
Father lmh"i1. of Richmond, Ind,
has just lived out his hundrcth year
it l. hoped. 10y his friends. he will live
/" pack his carprtbaG next wear, aud
say t" the public: ''Imhotl for the
centennial"
y few days ago Il Norwich man
bought Il chest of tea in Providence. and
ON opening found stone inside weigh
-f1Ig nearly eleven pounds. He remarked
that the weighs of Providence are very
mysterious. NorTjch BuIIctn.
y .jailor in Il Western State had re
cciNcd strict orders not to keep his
prisoners III solitary confinement. Once
when he had tw" III charge one escaped.
and he was obliged to kick the other
out of the door t" comply with the reg
ulation.
y Chicago chemist. owing to the non
payment of his fee, lctI.eS to return
the stomach of II dead man sent to him
tol analN SIS. Although the chemist has
NOW tw" StomachS. he doesn't appear to
have amy bowels of compassion. Nor
r<iown HraId
y Somerset Young woman, seventy
eight yc;ls of age. bccamc tired of life
the other day and hung herself to Il
bcdpo>t with Il corset. We always
Thought coI>cl> were unhealthy rSpe-
cilllN W hen worn about the neck Nor
ri>foTH HrruId
1t is seldom easy to see the hidden
hrurtacii"n in that which is IN appar-
cnt affection. \ boy who was econ
founding" the mosquito WAS told 10y his
pastor that ''doubllc>S the insects are
made with Il good end in view" when
the Young scamp replied, Il can't see
ii. whether it Is i'll view "r not. At any
rate. don't like the end | feel
It will hardly hr necessary /" tell the
name of the iIcciiou> party who went
int" u village dry goods store the other
day. and wa> observed to hr look ing
about. When the proprietor remarked
that they didn't keep whisky. 1T
would save N"u Il good many steps il
y"u did Wis the Stage drivers quick
reply. Hrk>hi,c ToH,icr.
Two l"uug men Walking down Wash
inyt"u street yesterday were di~cu>>in"
the means oi obtaining Il smoke
five got Il counterfeit half dollar"
said n;r. Cant N"u pass il - asked
the Other. Il don't know Nou might"
Me and the Young mans face he
r:IrIr one continuation at an elongated
exclamation point Me , why the very
fact at my having :" much money
would create suspicion. l'ickrbnrJ
U,Juid.
\ New Jersey granger heard Il great
nni~r anon. his chickens the other
evening. and thinking thieves were
dc>p"ilin" his roo>l. he rushed out with
his hand. but discovered no one about
Then he counted his fowls. but instead
of some being missing. he found six
more than belonged to him. His eve
sight hrin" Il little defective. he didn't
discover until the next morning that he
had counted six vigorous mosquitoes of
the New JERSEY brand, which had been
acridcntly fastened in the coop with his
hens. Il Thought they WAS rather too
hiy for chickens when counted EN-"
he afterwards rcmarked.-N NO,yistOTn
Herdld.