Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-05-21

months with me.
As | mounted the steps of my hous,
the door waseSopened by my wife He
first words were: 1t is in a basket, oh
Left in the most mysterious way hal
hour ago,Iwith particular instruction,
not to open it until you came home.
am not very curious, you know, butt
here my wife paused, noticing, perhaps
smile of incredulity on my lips" well
81 not very, mean. Ii has worried me so
i though, and my brother Ambrose ha,
been 30 silly with his unfee]ing jokes
about it. He-he"-and my wife strug
gled with tear" he says it's a baby
There! It is moving nowl If it is any
body's child"-and here the brave little
woman braced herself up for it" prom
Use that, if its parents can't be found
that we may care for it. Baby's old clothes
could be of use, and"
eMy dear" said 8" it amt baby /; it's
a monkey" N N
IA w6ats" cried out my wife, pitch
ing.her voice in a clear soprano note as
high as "f" sharp, "a monkeyl and
baby but seven months old! 1t will be
carrying our precious one to the house
top, and cramning all kinds Of dreadful
things i'll it's mouth. believe the storyw
"But it is a sick monkey" said apol-
ogetically, with a broken arm-one of
d late happy family--and his name it is
Moses" and detailed my story.
"What on earth are all you people
chatting about down there; and what is
the mystery about the basket?" cried out
my brother-in-law, DR.. Parry, who joined
us in the hall. "Ambrose," I said, Gin
that basket there is a dilapidated monk
/ ey--arm fractured, Ia
"DelightfulP' exclaimed the doctor.
/ " 1t is charity patient" added.
| 5" My practice, exactly" responded the
doctor -
"Well, Ambrose" chimed in my wife,
f"we leave the case with you. l am 60
ing to bed"
"And I, too," added. "Call me up
if you want anything"
"Stop," cried the doctor; are you
heathens! Sister, the keys of your med
icine chestAand all your old band
boxes. You, sir" and he addressed me,
".giye me your old skate-straps and your
/ glue-pSt."
/" Are we Brahmins, that we should
keep monkey hospitals" asked my
| WIFE
CT should not be surprised if we
were," the doctor replied. " We are
Ayrans, and at last an atavism or pen
chant for our ancestral type is simply
asserting ITSELF"
"Stuff!" replied my wife, and marched
forthwith to bed.
DIR. Parry took the basket with the
monkey in it to his office--and l followed
him.
"Here is your glue-pot; here is the
pasteboard from your wife's hat-boxes; !;
build fire and get your glue-pot on the
boil" said the doctor authoritatively.
You are not going to stick Moses to-
gether, are your" inquired.
"Now listen, oh, my brother" said Dr.
Parry, assuming the pose and manner of
lecturer. 81 will commence by saying
that this novel case will develop not only
miracles of the healing art but will give
you an insight into those ingenious me-
chanical devices which the inventive
mind of the true surgeon improvises.
Assistant, request the patient to ap-
proach; or, in plainer terms, bring on
your monkey"
"That is decidedly COOL" I replied.
~ respectfully decline. You have en-
tire charge of the case.
"Surgery," continued the doctor, " has
its perils. We will then introduce
Moses ourselves" Saying this he cut the
cord which held down the lid of the
basket where Moses was enscOnced.
Then, leaning with one hand on the edge
of the basket, he continued: "There
must always exist certain degree of
confidence between the patient and his
surgeon-kind words, gentleness, assur-
ance of benefits to be conferred, tend to
calm irritability. Here, Moses Moses!
| good boy! We are going to try and make
you as springy as when you bounded
1.-the and free in your native wilds."
Saying this, Dr. Parry introduced his
hand carefully into the basket. There
was first a whimper, then chatter, and
last snap" "Confound it!' cried the
doctor, bounding into the middle of the
room, the rascal has bitten me. For
. tunately my coat-sleeve has got the best
of it. Anyhow, it shows quite palpably
the vitality, the vivacity of the patient
Assistant, fasten that sponge to the end
of my cane there and pour chloroform
plentifully on it." did as / was directed
Then DIR. Parry carefully opened the lid
of the basket and applied the sponge in
side. There was terrible row in that
basket-the bobbing up and down of a
black head, the exhibition of some very
white teeth, and then all was still. at
takes" said the doctor, "twelve ounces
of chloreform and five minutes to chlo-
reform monkey. There he is, sleeping
like an infant, with a gentle thoracic
movement. Ali! Here is an important
fact for publication. You may chloro-
form monkey all over, save his tail, and
that defes, apparently, the power of
anasthetics." Hereupon the doctor took
out Moses carefully, who showed no
signs of life, and placed him on the table,
/ taking tape-line from his pocket, re-
questing me to note down certain figures,
which he commenced calling off as fol.
I lows: Around the neck, 81 inches from
the shoulder to hip, 1e11 inches; around
the chest, 169; arm, 81; length of arm,
154; waist, IL inches; tail, 1 foot 3; no,
it's four-I give up the tail. That will
do, you tailor's apprentice. Fracture be-
tween elbow and wrist, besides bad
bruise in the lumbar region. Assistant,
could you pull out his tongue? You
would rather not? Then will. Good.
FuTied to degree Typhoidal symp.
toms, liver complaint. / ought to find
/ some new monkey disease here, for you
know that some one has said that the
j science of medicine does not exist in
order to cure diseases, but there are dis
eases in order that there should be sci
ence of medicine"
sis this case grave one?" asked.
Certainly, for monkey, when every
thing runs into consumption. Now,
joking aside, put him back and help me" :"
Thereupon the doctor skillfully made a
! whole series of splints out of the paste
: board, adding to it bits of wood, and
! very shortly had built up complete set
, of paper armor. Parts were moistened
in water to shape them, and dried on the
: spots and smeared with the hot glue.
{ Presently the work was done. and now