The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1875-02-12
TAKING THE EDGE OFF.
The Champion Hungry Man pays Troy a
Visit.


Saturday afternon sort Of slouchy-
looking hungry-eyed, cadaverous fel-
low stepped into a restaurant on
Fourth street and said he wanted a
cup Of coffee and a piece Of bread
and butter. The waiter told him
that the place sold nothing short Of
a complete dinner, and the price was
fifty cents. Said the stranger,
"Well, you see, | ant real hungry,
and / only want a little coffee and
bit of bread"
Waiter-It makes no difference,
we sell whole dinner for fifty cents,
and nothing else.
Stranger-You give whole dinner
for fifty centsp
Waiter Yes, a whole dinner; roast
meat, potatoes, succotash, bread,
butter, pie, pudding, coffee and tea.
Stranger Well, 1 s'pose you give
man all he wants to eat ?
Waiter-Oh, yes; we fill you up
for fifty cents, and give you q solid,
good, plain meal
Stranger-Well, I've a half mind
to eat with ye. The fact is, the ole
woman give me half a loaf Of bread
and piece of cold corn beef for a
bite, and eat that up at Carpenters
ies now with q glass of beer. !
thought I'd like q good cup OF coffee
and little bread and butter to kind
O. wash the thing down, but ye say
ye can't gim'e that9
Waiter-No, sir. Well give you,
as I've said, a solid, square meal for
fifty cents. You can eat as little or
as much as you please.
The strangers eyes opened and
looked thoughtful for moment, and
then striking his fist on the table, he
exclaimed, "By guml l b'leeve I'll
take it. amt right, real hungry,
but bring on yer roas' beef and taters,
suckitash, tea, coffee, bread, pie and
puddin'l Bring EN- on. BY gum
| I'm in for square meal, and my fifty
cents worthP The wAiter hurried
to respond, and the way that stran
gers knife and fork played betweer
his mouth and the plates was q eau
ton to creased lightning. 1t beat
half dozen pair of castnets, anC
sounded more like one OF Billy Nc
Alister's bone solos than anything
else we ever saw. The waiter stoot
aghast, and when he turned up witt
! the Chird plate of roast beef the pro
prietor, pale as marble from ~ Yer
, mont quarry, called him aside be
, hind the bar. "For God sake, VIII
is that fellowp" said he; "he eat
{ yictuals as fast as thresMng-ma
chine swallows straw" The stran
: gers plates were beginning to sho'
bottom again, and his eyes were run
! ming up and down the room for th
h waiter. He did not stop in his eat
o ing, but simply turned his back an
let fly against the wall with his heel
a "Gi' me more roast beef and taters,
a he shouted. The landlord raised h
v hands in horror. "Great HEAVIER
James, he'll clean us out" said h
J. as the waiter sprung for the kitchen
v "Ain't We got more'n wun kind
r. pie ?" inquired the stranger. 20
n yes" "Well, then, bring it on, an
/, giv's sum O that pud'n, too. Jen
Is my, Il / was only hungry, how l
q clean you outl Bring me two cul
"a Of coffee and q cup of ten, too,
a amt only jis beginnin' to eat, +" II
/ landlord listened with dismay, ar
n stopping the waiter, as he onter'
the kitchen for tho fifteenth tim
70 walked solemnly up to the strang
,o and said: "See here, we amt L
70 enough in this house to feed yo
i. Just 20 on now, | will call it squar
q You needn't pay o cent for what v
az have had" The stranger becan
r. indignant and declined, saying tn
his appetite was just coming, al
winding up with very emphat
Hanged il will" A brig
-, thought struck the landlord as
ID walked off in mental agony. Hai
2 ening to the bar, he jerked open i
n = till pulled out half dollar, al
u. rushing up to the stranger, placed
Y in his hand "Here, here" said !
~ ~ "take this and go right up to t
10 Holly Tree Inn, and clean EN- OF
10 Go on. They'll feed you till y
. bust, for fifty cents. "Well," 50
or stranger, as he gradually arose al
q q stretched himself, at the same til
y putting the scrip in his vest pock'
= ~ III don't mind Of l do take it,
!, y amt very hungry, anyhow. l on
W wanted cup Of coffee and a piece
as bread and butter when / come
ne but I'm jis as well satisfied. ! que
" I'll buy the old mare some oats; VI
10 . until | get hum to finish up" and
" ft.--7roy Times.