American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-29
How an Irish BilI-Br0ker Collected q
Bad Debt.

HOW an IRISH Blll.BrOker COlIecte0
Bad Debt.
THIS capital story is from "a Few
More Old Dublin Recollections":
Few affairs of honor have been sur
passed in real Irish fun by one which
took place in Dublin in which the cele-
brated fire-eater and champion of the
Dublin Corporation, D'Esterre, afterward
shot by O'Connell, came out in "a new
way to pay old debts" and had his over
strained notions of chivalry turned into
successful ridicule by an honest, plain
dealing mans mother-wit and common
sense. D'Esterre used to put his name
10 paper without thought of payment.
broker, was offered bundle of bills for
discount. 1t was Mr.. Kirwan's boast
that he instinctively knew bad paper"
by the feel of it.
"There's bad paper in your lot, can
perceive, sir, without taking the trouble
to look over it seri-ahtim ct lite rdh-ttm,"
remarked Billy, who had been originally
intended by his pious Galway parents for
the church and had in his boyhood a de-
cent converse with the preliminaries of
the classics. "F'gnuna ha6et in cOrnu," he
continued, "as a body might say to a
spawned horse. You had better remove
it, if you playse, sir, before l have any
thing to say to you, for l wouldn't touch
it with a pair of kitchen tongs, much less
dirty my hands with it."
a. am astonished to hear you say so,
sir" said the merchant; land would you
be pleased 10 mention what is in my
hand that encounters your objectionf"
Why, certain acceptance signed h.
D'Esterre, and, If you must know my
opinion, would not advance the value
of a brass button on all that jackass
could draw on the same security"
Good Heavens! and why not?"
For rayson / have; and nobody
knows it better than Mr.. D'Esterre him
SELF" answered Kirwan.
AS Mr.. Kirwan was sitting alone after
dinner the same evening, enjoying his
pipe and his glass of punch over one of
M'Ghee's late leaders in the Eceniag Post,
or, just as probable, one of Dan O'Con-
neli's earlier speeches in favor of Catho-
lie emancipation, the servant came in
with card from Col. Henry.
"Who's Col. Henry?" demanded Kir-
wan.
Faith, and it's meself doesn't know
him from the man in the moon"
Rowl in the Colonel, and lay anoth-
er tumblerr' said the master of the
house.
Col. Henry, tall and gentlemanly-
looking man of middle age, was ushered
in.
=" Mighty glad am to see you, Colonel,
whatever you've come about" said our
host; "but before you begin would ad-
wise you to mix tumbler of that excel
lent Johnny Poacer that's forenent you.
If you take it of at once it will pull you
through the opening part of your bust
ness pleasantly and comfortably; and
then you can mix second st once to
prepare you for contingencies"
Col. Henry, having taken Kirwan's ad-
vice SO far as mixing but not suddenly
absorbing the liquor, opened his business
with all the grandeur of perfect Sir
Lucius, as in days long gone by Jack
johnson used to enact the part, not Ty-
rome Power.
The Colonel very much regretted that
it fell to his lot to have to deliver q hos
tile message to gentleman of such re-
spectability as Mr.. Kirwan from one
equally respectable and estimable as Mr..
D'Esterre. He repeated the injurious
and insulting expressions which the gen.
tleman whom he had the honor of ad-
dressing had made use of in speaking of
his friend during the day to certain
merchant in the Commercial Buildings.
and which had travelled the round of the
city before nightfall. He pointed out,
moreover, the utter impossibillty of Mr..
D'Esterre allowing such an outrage on
his name and character to be uttered and
sent forth to the world without demand
ing the satisfaction Of q gentleman.
Then, Colonel. honey, come to the
point, and just tell me what it is that
you want" demanded Kirwin.
An apology or the alternative"
Which means that I must eat my
words or fghtf"
Most decidedly"
sit can't be done for the money"
For the money!"
For the money. I'd be glad to &C.
commodate you, my dear Colonel, in any
way in my power; but the money
stands in my way most completely and
entirely"
Col. Henry looked bewildered. Kir-
wins drguMentun dd crumendna was evil
IDENTIFY beyond him. "What money?
whose money!" he exclaimed.
Why, my money, to be aare; the
money that your respectable friend, Mr..
D'Esterre, owes me this last couple of
years-nOthing more nor less than q cool
hundred, Independent of interest and ex-
penses. lent it to him at first not as q
matter of business, but ON his pledged
word of honor that he'd return it to me
at the time he promised; and, upon my
honor and sowl, he hasn't done SO from
that day to this"
The Colonel doubted what he had to
do with the money question.
Everything" said Kirwan, Gin the
regard of your not having the ghost of
an argument on your side when you ask
me to apologize or fight"
The Colonel still could not see it; but
his opponent very soon made him, in this
wise: He'd be a liar and a coward to
apologize or in any way retract what he
had said and still felt of D'Esterre so
long as D'Esterre chose to act dishonor-
ably toward him and to go out and fight
him would be to act like the biggest fool
in existence. Blood an 'ouns, Colonel!"
said Billy, do you want me to
fire against my own money? On the
send me to the devil after it.; and you
know the Scripture says that out of hell
there's no redemptionP"
livery true, indeed, and by no means
an unreasonable way of putting it." OBJ
served Col. Henry; "but." he added,
will you, if l satisfy you on the money
If you pay me-that's the chatr
roared Billy.
PAY you-certainly; chats what
mean; but will you then fight:"
Like Trojan, Colonel" cried Kir-
wan. Anything to- oblige you-any-
thing for peace and quietness"
shall see you tomorrow morning
again, Mr.. Kirwan," said the Colonel,
rising and formally bowling to his host,
who vainly endeavored to make him
take another jorum, "just to show that
there was NO luminosity between them"
You'll have your friend ready in the
morning when 1 CALI" asked Henry, as
he Turned for the lasf time