The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1875-05-19
A Patient Wife.
NJ. Quad, in Detroit Free Press.

NJ. Quad, in Detroit Free Press.l
She's little bit of woman, all patience
and sunshine, and I'll spoil the best
silk hat that money could buy for the
privilege of lending her my umbrella in a
rain storm.
She's married, and she's got an rhinoce-
ros of husband He makes it practice
to come home tight at II o'clock every
other night, and has for years, and he
can't remember that she ever gave him a
cross word about it. When he falls into the
hall she is waiting to close the door and
help him back to the sitting-room, where
a good fire awaits him. She draws off
his boots, unbuttOns his collar, helps
him off with his coat, and all the time she
is saying
tPoor Henry? How sorry / am that
you had this attack of vertigo I'm afraid
that you will be found dead by the road
side some night.
"Whazzer mean by verzigo?" he growls.
But she helps him off with his vest and
pleasantly continues
''Pm so glad you got home all right.
| hope the day will come when you can
pass more of your time at home.
1t is dreadful how your business drives
you"
"What bizshness whaz yer talking
'bout?" he replies.
tPOor one how hot your head is -
she continues, and presently he breaks
down and weeps and exclaims:
"Yez zur-zic's 'Orse-wearing zelf
out fhast's can-wishzi was dead ~
Next morning she never refers to the
subject, but pleasantly inquiries how he
slept, and if his mind is clear. His boots
may be missing, and he yells out:
''War'n thunder's my boots 2"
"Right here, my dear" she replies
and she hands them out, all nicely BACKED
up.
If she wants dress or hat or a cloak
and he yells out that household expenses
are eating him up, she never "sasses"
him back, nor tells him that she could
have married Congressman, nor declares
that she will write home to her mother and
tell her just how it is.
"That's so, my dear-times are hard, y
she says, and she gets upjust as good din
ner as if he had left $50.
He may come home tight at supper
time, but she is not shocked. She remarks
that it is an unexpected pleasure to have
him home SO early, and she pretends
not to notice his stupid look. He see.
three chairs where there is but one, and in
trying to sit down he strikes the floor like
the fall of derrick.
"Wazzer jaw That chair way for ?" he
yells; and she replies
''It's that hole in the carpet-I knew
you would stumble !" and she helps
him up and brings him strong cup OF
tea.
They do not keep servant, and when
cold weather came she never thought Of
plankiDg herself down in chair opposite
him and saying:
''Now, then, you'll either get up and
/ light the fires or there won't be any light
| ed-mark that, old baldhead !"
/ No; she didn't resort to any such base
and tyrannical measures. When daylight
comes she slips out of bed, makes two
! fires, warns his socks, and then, bending
over him, she says;
"Arise, darling and greet the festive
MORN"
He's sick sometimes, and I've known
that woman to coax him for two straigh
hours to take the doctors medicine, turf
over his pillow twenty-five times, keep {
wet cloth on his head, pare his corn down
and then wish that she had a quail t.
make him some soup. When he gets int
a fight down town and comes home will
his ears bitten up and his nose pointing
to the northeast, she inquiries how tn
horse happened to run away with him
and she says she is so thankful that h
wasn't killed. She has an excuse 70
everything, and she never admits tina
anyone but herself is to blame abou
anything. Lor' bless her-In hop
she II slip into Heaven and never be aske'
a question.