Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-03-04
A Danbury Man Tries to Reach
% Womaa's Pocket.
rEron1 th. naDb Oo.-,

u hOnl11S rocket.
[From the Danbury News.l
| The most difficult thing to reach
is a woman's pocket. This is espe
cially the case il the dress is hung
up in a closet, and the man is in q
hurry. We think we are safe in saw
ing that he always is in hurry on
sueh an occasion. The owner of the
uress is In the sitting room, serenely
engrossed in book. Having told
MIN that the article which he is in
quest OF is in her dress pocket in the
closet, she has discharged her whole
duty IN the matter, and can afford to
be serene. He goes at the task with
dim consciousness that he has been
there before, but says nothing. On
opening the closet door and fnding
himself confronted with a number Of
dresses, all turned inside out, and
presenting most formidable front
he hastens back to ask (Which
one, ne ;IISU' asNs'II s.sviIAL. r..
dresses that there need be any great
effort to find the right one, he returns
to the closet with great alacrity, and
soon has his hands ON the brown
dress. 1t is inside out like the rest
"a fact he does not notice, however,
until he has made several Intellectual
attempts to get his hand into it.
Then he turns it around very carefully
and passes over the pocket several
times without being aware of it. A
nervous moving of his hands and an
appearance of perspiration on his
forehead are perceptible. He now
dives one hand in at the back, and
feeling around, finds place and pro-
ceeds to explore it, when he discov-
ers that he is following the inside of
a lining. The nervousness increases,
also the perspiration. He twitches
the dress on the hook, and suddenly
the pocket, white, plump and exas-
perating, comes to view. Then he
sighs the relief that he feels, and is
mentally grateful he does not allow
himself to use any offensive express
sions. 1t is all right now. There is
the pocket in plain view-nOt only
the inside but the outside-and all
he has to do is to put his right hand
around in the inside and take out the.
article. That is all. lie can't help
but smile to think how near he was to
getting mad. Then he puts his hand
around to the other side. He does
not feel the opening. He pushes a
little further-nOw he has got it; he
shoves the hand down, and is very
much surprised to see it appear OppO-
site his knees. He has made mis-.
take. He tries again; again he feels
the entrance and glides down it, only
to appear again as before. This
makes him open his eyes and
straighten his face. He feels of the
outside of the pocket, pinehes it Gu
riously, lifts it up, shakes it, and, af-
ter peering closely about the roots of
it, he says, "By graciOusr' and
commences again. He does il calm
ly this time, because hurrying only
makes matters worse. He holds up
breadth after breadth, goes over
them carefully, gets his hand first in
to lining, then into the air again
(where it always surprises him when
it appears and finally into pocket,
and is about to cry out in triumph,
when he discovers that it is the
pocket of another dress. He is mad
,o,,-. fbo ,IOeof oir almost Cfidoc
him; he is so nervous he can hardly
contain himself, and the pocket looks
at him so exasperatingly, that he can
not help but ''plug" it with his clench
ed fist, and Immediately does it. Be
ing somewhat relieved by this per-
formance, he has a chance to look
about him, and sees that he has put
his foot through bandbox and into
the crown of his wifc's bonnet; has
broken the brim of his Panama hat,
which was hanging in the same
closet, and torn about yard of bu-
gle trimming from new cloak. AS
all this trouble is due directly to his
wife's infatuation in hanging up her
dresses inside out, he Immediately
starts after her, and impetuously urg-
ing her to the closet, eXcitedly and
almost prOfanely intimates his doubts
of there being pocket in the dress
any way. The cause of the unhap-
py disaster quietly inserts her hand
inside the robe and directly brings it
forth with the sought for article in its
clasp. He doesn't know why, but
this makes him madder than any
thing else.