The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-04-22
Little JOhnny's Last Composition.

Uncle Ned he calls me TO MIN the Otner
day, and he said did no wot wos up, and
| said the head of graft was stuck upper
than any thing, but Ide rote about the gi
raft all reddy. Then he said Johnny this
natchrel hissery has turn your head, |
don't mean that but do you no wot is q
goin to happen to this family? Wen
Uncle Ned said that look at my sister to
see if she new, and she was red face like
lobster, so | said wy didn't she set further
way from the fier, but my mother she
said Johnny, your uncle is rOckin TO yOu
wy don't you anser, never mine your sister.
So tole him diddnt no wot was a goin
to happen, les Billy was a gOin to git
other lickin, and he said that was a safe
CESS, but wot he ment was | was bout
to have n new brother, and | said hOoray,
vote we name him Tommy Uncle Ned
he laft like he thot he wude die, and my
mother she said Edward if you have any
thing to say to Johnny wy doDt,you tel it as
if you was man of sence, j Johnny hush this
minnit, were ever did Billy put them sis
sors, think baby is woke up and that
joint has got to be tuke out of the oven TO
once.
When she had gOn, and my sister too,
Uncle Ned, wich had stop latin, said
Johnny, you have made a mess of this
bout to marry. Then | said wude it be
for long, and he thot a minnit and said no
give it up, wude | tel him the anser and
ask other riddle.
Las mite we had supper late, and was let
stay up late too, and ct myself so full of
frute cake that got sleep in my chair at
the table, and wot do you think dremp
thot was settin at that table oil a lone,
and pretty soon the table began to gro
long, like mile, and oil the animels ever
herd of came in and set their sells down
in the chairs. They was ephlant, and
hippo, and a cammle, and snake, and
ostrich, and rat, and horse, and COW,
and oil the fellers witch | had rOte about,
like it was Noers ark and the barometer
was fallin fast. Each annimel had their
feed before 'em, just wOt it liked the best,
the ephalent had apples and bun, and
the graft had pinnicle off steeple, and
the ostrich had keg of males, and the rat
was a eatin some chees off steel trap,
and the COW had some gras, and the tiger
had COW, and the big snaik had tiger.
and the croky dile had niger, you never
see such nice quiet dinner party, and
thot Missy was waitin on the table in a
wife silk frock and vail on. jest as she
was passin Jack Briley, the sailer, to the
shark, the vale, witch was eatin scum at
the top of the table by me, it stude up on
its tale, and had vale bOte full of water
under its flipper like a cup, and the vale
bloSe a vile, and then it bellered like a
church organ, and this is wot the beller
sounded like sayin,
Ladies and gentlemen it amt no good me
tellin you wy we have met to gather this
evenin, cos you knows how it is your sells.
| You knows we have never got many IA
vers from the relations of our friend here,
the goriller, they have been agin Hs from
the start, and shiver my timbers if don't
bleeve thev wude like to send us all TO the
bottom! You viii excuse the langwidge of
a sea farin vale wich Amino scOllard, mOres
the pity, but blow me tite if j think we
have been give fair play! We have only
had Jest two trends ameng the lot, and
one was Noer, and he wassent no use to
me, and the other trend is our guest this
eyin-a frend wich under stands US, and
the only one wich has ever see the pint OF
our little Jokes. line sure we oil hopes
his ritins marks the don of new era, and
men will larn from 'em that we amt sech
bad fellers after oil, tho don't go so far as
to say | approov of certain dishes wich
see bein ct at this table. And now, ladies
and gentlemen, have the homer to ask
you to jine me in drinkin the helth OF our
guest. our shipmate, our frend, Little
Johnny.
Wen the vale had got dun they oil stude
up and drank and then a cock at the bot
tom of the table it erode out three cheers
for Little Johnny, wich was give by oil
present with sech friteful noises. | woke
and my sister was pullin my ear for bed
time. Wen ] had gon to bed and she was
too, the door between my room and hern
was open, and | said Missy, and she said
wot is it Johnny, keep it to your self, but
/ said Missy, you is goin to git married,
and she said yes. Then l said wude she
do me faver wen she was married, and
she said yes, she wude, wOt was it? Then
l said Missy, wen you is married you will
90 to live in other house. wish you
wud take your young man, and let him
live with you, cos he comes loafin about
this house so much he is regler down
rite nusence!
And Missy said she wude, if she dide fol
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