The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-02-12
GheGnteIIifntea:rT
Josh BILLINGS.


SHORT AuNNcE" ~ 1
n.ar Mor,e-In case oy doubt ask
v,,r" wife: when the sun shines wlmnlll
sTe buttcrAys, and luy to bask in II rays
I'M, when the dark hours cum, ana syeH
hone begins to look over its shoT@s
nj yure wife about II, and she VIZ "
the cloud and show you TIC sI t.,.. IgS
Dear Brinsmade-i Inv paDyS iu .N,
them becauze they are aEtuaily necessary
Inv TT~tbrm becauie they won't lie; / luV
,bs,n bCcause they may be the next pres.
;Jsn,. luy them beCauze had themi
Inv them becauzo they are sort OF bed
iivbts ON the dark pathway ov life to sho
~ that We are on the right road, and
how fur We hav got; ! luy them because
waz baby once myselt, and sumbOdy
luvod me.
Dear Metcalf--I am rank unbeleaveF
i don't belepve in ghosts nor spiritual
ISM don't beleave in quack pills nor
wimmins rites convenshuns-i don't be-
leave in praying politicians nor boss .
trOtting dGaEoRs-i don't beleave n
whisky az u tonik nor religion az q traiaK
II don't beleave in morality that WIZ
seek temptashun, or IL airade 70 lace u
when it Kant dodge good. bcleaye ~
only one wife, one dog and one friend,
with few cheerful acquaintance thrown
in to make up the assortment.
Dear Faulkner-DOgs are the only
specimen OF the brute perswashun who
have to belong 10 sumbody, II they have
muster they are proud and happy, and
il makes no ditferece to them whether
they belong to a kingor y pappeE, 4 dog
who don't belong to ennybOdy issz lone
sum and hopeless NJ lost goose: They
never become Migrants bi choice, and
will stick to a man, and fte for him too,
after every other friend has deserted him,
This fakt alOne makes human being
noble, and it ought, at least, to make u
dog respectable. ! hay known ritch
people TO loose a dog, and hay to adyer.
Tor him, and Civ 10 dollars to git him
bak, but never knu bcggrr to hay to
do il. It IL az hard for beggrr 10 git
rid ov his dog as II Is for tho dog to GIT
rid q his ilaas, '.lll1-aa ,,u5U
Dear Seymour-Thagrate trubblo with
most ov the literary people now days, IL
they read too much and think too little.
They kan tell yu the title ov every book
that haz been published for the last if
teen years, and this IL about all they kan
tell yu about the book. When q person
haa got 30 full oy book reading that he
hal got to spill sum before he kan take
in emmy more, he Is loaded too heavy,
These kind Of pholks are like a man
who haz ct too mutch pumkins pi, too full
oy pi. Too little Of farming Seems to
make man kn0 too litde, Wiadnm Ia
far better than farming, but to be wise a
man haz got to bC born with the disseazO
in his nature, and thRre aint but phew oV
this sort, but farming kan DO had any
WHARF bi tho pound. 49,,
Dear Smollett-0ld age, we hay been
told, IL venerable, but | hay often no
tissCd that II waz more venerable for
years than for ennything else. Thare Ia
more people who hay lived too long for
their own good, and for other peoples too,
than thare hnz died too soon. | hay
known persons who wore venerable al
thirty, and hay known skores who were
merely old refugees at eighty, The color
Nv u mans deeds make him venerable, mol
the color oy his hair.
Dear Platt--Spoaking Ov friends md
friendships we seldom nOtiss much strong
attachments in familys, Ov course there
IL occasional excepshuns 10 this rule, ilAl
az tharo IL excepshllnS tGall thlngs+h!lI,
man. The most bitter ieuds the world
has ever witnessed have been family
feuds, and tho strongest aaeckshun TINT
generally exists, between even brothers
and sisters, amounts 10 litLlO more than
decent rcspckt. MI experience has been
that the most intense aud lasting ntleck
shuns on record hay been between thozC
who were In no ways akin to each other
Dear ,Carlton-When aman IL in LUX
his friends arc azthiCk as the ieRs on
dog, and Just about rs llsephull, and hare
tn git rid ov. But have seen dogs 81
10 poor that the ileas had all left them II
disgust. Summer friends are plenty, but
when winter setS in they see6 u warmCi
klimate. The way manage with M
friends IL, to treat them rs AhO | expektet
to lose them some kold, wet morning
Wherever the sugar IL thare tho lilies as
semble. One or two friends that vii
stand hard freeze, Ia cnufI, aud Ia II
menny a1 any man ever had, and Ia NOR
than menny q man could find when III
wanted them the most. Friendship Ia
pretty word, and looks sweetly In worStet
work, or boarding skool stanzas, but |
L.. ni,naka1 st,nun Nnnttlh Than amy Wnfi
in the whole dickShionary
Dear Dillingham-The man who think
he luvs everything and everybody, Ia
phool, and he kant prove to tho contrary
Yung puppys luye everybody, and ar
kikt by everybody for II. like n goot
sharp hater, but | want him to giv goot
realons for It. hAv seen people VIII,
thought they hated Everybody, but ~
iakt WAS they only hated themaelii
Hate often changes into reSpekt, and la
~ often changes into disgust.
Dear Frothlngham- mulch ov cnnl
thing IL bad and risky, whether II
meaSles, mummy or mosquitoes. To
mulch mummy kreates a thirst for, an,
also fear Of loseing what we hay g.!
Thoze who luv munpy for what ~ vii
buy are quite sensible folks and thos
who luy Ii fot the good they kan do Wit
Il are heroes. When mummy increases
mans yitteys Il shows Ia gfatest puTeI
The luy oy muhny drives everything on
oy the heart but pride and SelfShnCs
and tho person In whom theIe two trait
predominant iEabotit AZ filthy d. lio Kan y
Dear spignoti--'rhe luv ov fame Is III
ruling pashun, and no man, who wnz o
emmy aekount at all, has ever II we'd ye
who didn't think ho was famous for sun
thing. A man will do for fame what i
won't do for God or man.. But fame IL
hard master 10 work for, fame haE I
eight hour regulaShuh, and when mn
fails to get Ii, he haint got .ennythir
10 fall bak Upon Every boldly lails
him who works for fame, and don't git
but wust Of all IL the poor devil despit'
himself. 1iaman haE made up hiE mir
10 work for fame, perhaps the best way
10 work for mummy at the same time, at
be sure to get IL too, and then II he fai
in the glory part Of the biIlnesS, he kt
nrtisktikally place hl4 thnm on the 81
oy hia nose, and lean bak in hi4 tocklI
chair, and twiddle bis fingers pt the worl
II IL lilly nattal to work for fame, but
ain't prominently smart to git beat out
\ 1t IL "A lla aaIttNa ltHi