Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-11-25
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

foubt that a thingof booty is a JOY forever.
Apples can be bought in some por-
tons of Pennsylvania for fifteen cents
bushel
A fishhawk's motto-"I fights nit
sea- gull."-Nep York Commercial Adcer-
tiser.
The great defect of the English peo-
pie is mental incidence, says Mr.. Glad
stone.
What are the boys waiting most pa
tiently for now? Don't you sees Ice.
See?
"A distinction with difference sus-
pension of sentence and sentence Of
suspension.
Its no consolation to defeated can.
didate to know that he came "pretty
near" being elected.
If the hog-cholera makes pork worth
fifty cents per pound, all heightened peo-
pie will eat pork.
Pure Havana cigars will be scarcer
this year, owing to failure in the Massa-
chusetts tobacco crop.
The Rochester Democrat says the few
persons who do not know that kerosene is
explo.ive are rapidly dying off.
When man to whom you lend
money says he will beeindebted to you for
ever you might as well believe him.
One of those unexplainable foibles of
feminine nature consists in the fact that
the finer carriage n woman has, the more
she prefers to walk.
PENNSYLVANIA has 1913 towns that end
in burg" This shows what people can
accomplish when they brace their nerves
and set about a thing
Wedding tours are becoming unfash.
ionablc The proper and sensible thing
is to settle down and live like folks, with
out indulging in any needless nonsense.
"A crusty old bachelor explains that
the reason "A woman puts her finger in her
mouth when she thinks IS because she
cannot talk and think at the same time.
Mrs. Eunice Ranney, of Shelburne
Falls, Mass, aged eighty-four, felt a prick
ing in the back of her hand and pulled
out needle. She can't remember to have
swallowed it.
Once at least in every husbands life
comes dark, rainy night, when his wife
suddenly remembers, rs he is getting his
first nap that she has forgotten to bring
in the clothes"
-" Who is this Herr Zegovina, any
way?" said young lady the other even
ing at mixed party; is he the new
tenor that came out with Tietjens, or is he
in the Salvini line?"
The Kansas Supreme Court recently
held that the stealing of dog was lar
ceny, and to charge person with stealing
a dog the party was liable for action Of
Islander if it was not true.
Kansas has thousands of bushels of
potatoes which will not be dugo on account
Of their cheapness. In the East there are
thousands of people who will suffer dur.
ing the winter for want of sufficient food.
"A San Francisco paper mourns be.
cause that city, with one Of the finest
harbors in the world, on which the after
noon breezes are always strong and
steady, does not boast of a single yacht
club.
The Atlanta (Ga} UeraM mentions
the nearest approach to purgatory yet dis
covered on earth. 1t WAS sleeping car
in which there were thirteen babies, while
in the ladies car were eleven more Of the
bowling cherubs.
A New Haven lady recently went
abroad in order to take charge OF the re-
mains of her husband who had died there
She is expected back soon and, being u
woman of thrift, brings both "a live and a
dead husband with her.
Two young men in Crawford County,
Pa, are serving out ten months terms in the
Work House for stealing chickens They
attended political meeting, noticed what
IN in Oft do
tour of the hen-roosts of these parties.
"A novel libel suit was tried recently
at Bowling Green, Ky. the complainant,
Ollie Hayes, being but twelve years of
age. The defendant had circulated a re-
port charging the girl with stealing an ar
tihcial flower, and the jury awarded Ollie
$500 damages.
-Eating restaurant food has not always
proved fatal. But ii is liable to do so.
Mr.. VIM. A. Huichings went into an At
lanta restaurant, ordered supper, and
died soon afterward Death ii was found
had ensued from suffocation caused by
food passing into the wind-pipe
The tragedy Of election-day in Massa-
chusctts was at Dedham, where John
Watkins, being quite i'll, was taken to
the polls IN carriage. On arriving
home he fell dead from the over-excite-
ment, and IA daughter is so much affected
that She is not expected to recover.
1t is always easy TO hear bad news
OF st. Louis cta Chicago, and this time it
Is about the big bridge over the Misss
sippi The bridge and tunnel capital was
SIS 1000, O09-s4, 600. 600 in stock, which
has now disappeared, and Sl1 900, 0G0 in
bonds. The receipts of the bridge are
only 81 300 day, which Is not sufficient
to pay the interest and expenses by about
100.