American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-08-28
MULTUM IN PARVO.
SoNG of the kettle-The dull-simmer.

SoNG of the kettle-The dull-simmer
/ AN ingram car pet-A polite conductor
SWEETS in adversity-A sugar-hous
failure.
THE dentists epitah-" He is filling Iii
{ last cavity"
e ONE towel lasts New Hampshire tay
r ern two weeks.
If young ladies don't want to get stou
. let them linger over their meals. Hast
= rmakes waste.
A DEAF-MUTE named Acheson, now il
. Newport Or. ~ Jail, has four brothers,
wife and four sons who are also deaf an
dumb.
THERE will be an annular eclipse of tn
, sun on Sept. 30, which will be visible il
this country. At all places east of tn
Mississippi the sun will be,eclipsed-
WHEN a man sees a cat moving unsus
pectingly along, within easy range, Ii,
will involuntarily look around for stone
however good and noble he rlay be.
BIOLOGISTS have discovered that til,
and Tennessee is slowly rising, at the rate
of about foot every twenty four years.
THE tobacco worm has attacked the
plants, and good elocutionists are posted
on the fences by the farmers, reading the
excellent anti-tobacco tracts by the date
Mr.. Trask. 49, -.
10 PREVENT her lover from going
back" on his promise, a Detroit girl al.
ways introduces him to her friends as
my intended husband" So says the
| Free Press.
! SECRETARY BRIsTow has refused to re-
mitthe fine imposed upon New York
excursion steamer for carrying several
hundred more passengers than she was al
lowed to do by law.
BURNING incense, Mr.. Brown?'' said
Mrs. Farringtosh, as she passed Brown in
the act of lighting his post-prandial cigar.
No ma'am," said the practical Brown,
81 am burning twenty cents.''
The only barber in the world who
would cut mans hair without asking
him if he wouldn't like little tonic on
it, has just died of his own modesty,
covered with the contempt of his fellow
| tradesmen.
A CLOUD of grasshoppers struck at Es-
sex, Mass, the other day, on the beach,
when the tide was high and the cells came
up by thousands, without waiting for invi-
tation, and gobbled up the aforesaid hop
| pers.
THERE is Jersey farmer who ought to
| get rich Whenever he sees a neighbours
| boy squirming down the road with his
hands clasped across his stomach, he al
ways goes out into his watermelon patch
| and counts the melons.
A MASSACHUSETTS man, wanting power
for his mill, which is on the river side,
has hired an idle steamboat, backed it up
in proper position, and, taking off the
'paddle-wheels, bolted the steamer fast, and
it furnishes all the power he wants.
THE Whitehall Times believes that it is
better to be an uneducated man of brains
than highly-cultured fool, and maybe it
is; but every uneducated man must not
7 fancy merely because he is uneducated
that he is the fellow with the brains.
Mrs. Cotton, who was married in Bar
NUNS balloon, denies the report that she
and-heE husband lived unhappily aud had
separated. Mrs. Cotton says that they are
devotedly attached to each other, and that
their baby, called the balloon boy, is a
great pet
PROF. DAVID SWING has an article
in a late Adrance apologizing for "the
fashions" He declares that lone of the
dearest laws to the heart is the law of
Something Else Yesterday is with
cred rose; new buds must be found for to-
morrow"
IT was confidently expected that rare
minerals would be found in the Hoosac
tunnel, and possibly some new ones were
discovered, but in this the lovers of min
main rock consists almost wholly of mica
sehist, talcose sehist and slate.
A NEWPORT (R ~ tradesman who had
occupied one shop for twenty-eight years
was surprised the other day by II woman
who, came in and paid him for three
pounds of corned-beef, at five cents a
pound, which she bought of him soon
after Ire came to his present store.
THEY have just dissectcd an elephant
in Philadelphia, and they found that his
stomach was +" a sac six feet in length"
If some creature with capacity to ap-
preciate good cookery, such as Sam Ward
has, possessed a gastric surface of that ex-
tent, what new revelations lite would have
for him.
NEW YORK has the dancing bear now
and is properly alarmed, the Erensng Post
calling for suppression of the animal.
That same gentle beastie consumed, some
time ago, the wife of the Italian who ex-
hibits It, and the fondness of the man for
the animal is fearful commentary on lIu-
man nature.
MRS JOHN MoRRIssEY is as combative
as her spouse. The other day she dis
covered vagrant in the back yard of her
Saratoga premises, and, armed with a re-
volver, sailed down upon him, swapping
the weapon in his face, but failing to dis
charge it, whereupon the fellow scaled the
fence and escaped.
THERE is one refreshing fashion this
summer. Women never wore their hair
more becomIngly dressed since the days
when Phidias and Praxiteles executed
those Incompatible embodiments of Gre
clan women that have been the deli ght of
all lovers of true art ever since, and will
continue to be as long as the world en-
dures.-PT0Uidence Journdl.
A SUNDAY-sCHooL lecturer recently said
that according TO an old Scotch proverb
|" an ounce of mother was worth more than
pound of preaching" One of his listeners
was heard afterward to remark confiden-
tally that his mothers poundings were not
issued to him by the ounce-she never
struck less than ten-pound whack, even
when she used her lightest slipper.
THE Boston Globe tells the following as
81 true story: a minister, newly settled
in one of the waste Places was walking
in the village cemetery one day, when he
saw one of his parishioners standing by
the family lot Are these the graves of
your children Yes said the man,
looking about. Here is Tom, there is
Bill, this is Mary, that's the baby and
then, pointing cOntentedly to a corner gay
with flowers, there lays the old woman,
all blowed out"
A WASHINGTON correspondent of the
Boston Journal reports that Government
official, who has been at some pains to in
vcstigate the character of the claims upon
which pensions are paid, gives it as his
opinion that at least one-fourth of the pen
maid or hns fnls nj