The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

AAAAAAS3S ssAS INV wa SAASkA IA NASSSS.
"A great bank-starter-the Missouri
River.
Enforced civility: Bowling to circum-
stances.
If you must sail a young lady, do it
with q smack.-Boston Post.
Man and wife, like verb and nomi.
native, should always agree.
Why is lady consoling a jealous
lover like poet? Because she is COM
posing him.
"A mastodon skeleton weighing 1908
pounds, the largest ever found, has been
sent to Yale College from Otisville, in
Orange County, N. Y, where it was dug
up two years ago.
An attempt is making at Harvard to
improve the political education of
students. A club, to be open to the
whole college, for the discussion of po-
litical questions is the means suggested.
When youth of ten has utilized the
old mans plug hat to tan rat-skins in it
requires iron nerve on the part of the
parent to stroke the ruined article gently
with his sleeve and murmur pleasantly:
Boys will be boys"
"A = ACANA 0t0tAoGANA0A C1tblu1S w nave
discovered that, given hundred blonde
and hundred brunette women, more of
the latter than of the former will get
married. Young ladies will make note
ont and stop bleaching.
"A manufacturing company at Meri-
den, Conn, has been annoyed so much
by injunctions and suits brought by
people who complained Of the noise of
their drop-hammers, that they have de-
cided to leave the place and locate else
where. s.
The young man who, according to q
floating paragraph, wished to be "a
friend to the friendless, a father to the
fatherless and q widow to the widow.
less" has finally settled down as plain
drugstore clerk to the citrate-of-magne:
sialess.
Salmon are running so numerously
in the Sacramento River at present, and
the fishermen have caught SO many of
them, that they have become q drug in
the market and are sold by the fisher
men on the fishing grounds for from fif-
teen to thirty cents each, and in the city
at from forty to sixty cents.
a "A young man stepped up to a lovely
young lady on the steps of church, and,
crooking his elbow, said: " May have
the understandable pleasure of accompa-
nying you to the paternal domicile?"
Spell domicile," said she. He gave it
up, and she unhesitatingly gave him the
mitten. s' - oas9s.u go !.
The ighterman who removed the
arsenic-imprsgnated salt from the hold
of the steamer Niagara, at New York,
had narrow escape from death, and has
suedpthe Captain Of the vessel for dam
ages, the latter, as is alleged, having.
represented that the white powder on
the sacks was nothing but .pulverized
salt. 20
i, care you an Odd Fellow," .No.
sir; I've been married for q week" .f
mean, do you belong TO the order of Odd
Fellows :" :" No, no; I belong to the
order of married men," Mercy, how
dumb! Are you a Mason!" "Nc, Pm
carpenter by trade" "Worse and
worse! Are you Son of Temperament"
"Bothenyoul no; I'm son of MI. John
Goslings.p' aon3. s,ii lbs .aaza9e g - .,pt>
81 "A fish having all the appearances oil
q shad, and supposed to be the product
Of the spawn deposit made by Seth
Green in 1872, just below the Falls Of
st: Anthony, was caught not long ago in
q funAel net. It. has been sent to the
Smithsonian Institution for identifica-
ton, There was . standing offer of
twenty-five dollars BY the st. Paul Cham
Der Of Commences Tor the first shad caught
In the. Mississippi. gEa9 'R'f g aee7i =
Foreign nations now fully under
stand that our CustOm-H ouses will charge.
no duty on the goods and brie-arbrac theyI
may send over to the, Centennial, Fais.
They have at last concluded to look
upon Philadelphis next year. as an fe1s
cellent marx tihg hole, and are briskly
discussing the subject. Germany Is
ahead, and France doesn't want 70 play