American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-10-02
The Lady SOap-Peddler.

You may have noticed her on the street
passing from one house to another, with 9
little basket on her arm. You may have
seen that she is very sprightly and, al
though somewhat loud of voice and very
abrupt in manner, that she has dash Of
humor, and is, in vulgar parlance, quite
up to snuff. You may have observed heI
bouncing into place as if in the full de
termination to bounce everybody else out
of it, and you may also have observed, il
you have watched her closely, that when
she energies she has little more money
and little less soap than when she went
in. For that is her misunderstanding soap
And, although she is a woman, she pros
ecutes it with such extraordinary vigor
and in such q novel way that she is I'M
usually successful.
The other day she entered prominent
house on Fourth street. 1t is not neces
sary to state what prominent house, except
merely that it is the one where George
works. George is a young man who is
contemplating matrimony. He is very
nice young man. But he is, at the same
time, very bashful young man. And
when she entered and made a straight
dash for his desk he colored to the roots OF
his hair.
q want to sell you some SOAP" she
said, in such peculiarly loud voice that
George colored still more. And the clerks
and the lady customers looked at George
and at her in surprise.
i've got some of the incest soap here
that you ever used" she went on, dabbing
"A cake under Georges nose to have him
smell it.
81 don't want any soap, madam -
stammered George. "I-I'm very much
obliged to you, but IL really don't want
it."
80 yes, you do!D said the lady de-
cidedly. Il know You do. You wash
yourself, don't you? You want to keep
clean, don't your"
George answered that he hoped so.
"Of course you do, and here's the soap
to do it with. Genuine brown Windsor,
three for a quarter, halfdozen honey, fifty
here's transparent soap five cents ball {;
how many will you have, sir?''
But l don't want any," burst forth
from George.
"Oh, come, now, you know you do
anyway if you don't your wife does, and
of course the baby needs it.''
Here there WAS a roar from the clerks,
and George felt as if he would be grateful
to the floor if it would give way and de-
posit him gently in the cellar.
And you know babies can't be kept
clean without soap. The great thing to
keep babies healthful is soap, and your
wife will never forgive you if you don't
bring her home some of this nice, elegant,
sweet-scented Windsor. Do take cake
and try it. Remember, it will be your
fault if the baby dies"
Here there was another roar from the
clerks
& " Madam, have no wife and have
no babies, and [ want no SOAP" said
George, with his face in "a high state of in
fiammation.
Well, nobody knows what may hap.
pen. You look like nice young man,
and I'm sure the ladies will fall in love
with you-provided you keep yourself
clean. And you can't do it unless you
take this soap. Now, do take just one
cake, ten cents. Or, if you don't want
soap, nhat is there that l can bring you
that You ptU buy? Will you buy some
hair-oil, or some nice pomade for your
mustache, or some flavor for your mouth
to take the smell of that ugly tobacco
away, or suspenders, or complexion pow
der Owe got some better than that you're
using now, or shareholders, or socks,
Madam, I'll take the SOAP" said
George in desperation. And the heartless
clerks roared once more. And the lady
hustled out of the house to find another
customer. Thus she forces her sales and
though oddly done, l sympathiZe with heI
and respect her. For it is TO me the sublime