The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1875-12-17
Ag HR TOLD I'M.

have concluded to give place to the fol-
lowing, which was not however borne
to this office by shadowy hands, nor ac-
companied by mysterious noises; but
came quite in the usual way, stOutly en-
cased in thick yellow envelope, and
its passage through the mails insured
by two genuine postage stamps. In
fact, it was as ordinary and common
place a looking package as ever un-
folded marvellous story.-ED.
1 shall begin my remarks by a broad
and very bold assertion, viz: People,
and enlightened people at that, at this
day and age of the world, have been
known to tell the truth. I know that
such things ought not to be. know,
we all know it is simply flying in the
face of public opinion. 1t is not popu-
lar. 1t is not good judgment. 1t is not
good policy. Ifa young woman's pdter
gets what is vulgarly termed ''short of
cash." and the said young woman takes
school, she does it to give her an lease
and dignity" says mater. Nobody
turns their old clothes because necessity
compels them to do so; it's only because
they 'always thought so much of that
Dress" etc., etc.
Now, whether this which I shall tell
you is true or not, leave you to decide.
give it as it was given to me, and, if
any tired soul can find respite therein,
and take comfort therefrom, and feel
that their weary, troubled hearts can at
last rest satisfied, my efforts have not
been in vain.
He, my informant, lives in village
where whisky shops flourish; also, dap
per little army officers on small pay.
had expressed my doubts relative to JO-
nah and the whale, and observed that
we didn't hear of such cases now. He
grinned most facetiously, and remarked,
thrusting a cargo of "solace" into his
left cheek: "Jes' so. 1 used to think
that was topable fur yarn myself, till
I was cast away, time o. the Crimee
war N Injun mutiny. Cast away yes,
indeed. Come mighty near bein' dish
troyed. Ship loaded with a million
tons o bullion frum Australy. Bullion
got hot, melted, run all over, set the
ship on fire, and burned every livin'
soul but me. I jumped overheard and
grabbed one O. them slugs to try to keep
my head out O. the sad sea waves, when
I felt somethin' a tuggin' at nay clothes.
turned and met the speakin' features
of whale. 1 gazed upon the open,
boyish countehance of Leviathan, and
Leviathan let go my broadcloth and re-
turned my look with one of equal inter
est. The silence was growin' oppressive.
Levy, ole boy sez I, 'swaller feller,
can't you?' He shuck his head. Come
now, won't crowd you much; one o.
your kind swallered friend O. mine
onct, an it was the maxim O. him.
"Now, if you'll believe me, that ole
whale opened his mouth, and sez 'e to
me, sez e: Pm that whale; an it like
to ha' finished me. Oh, ye little fishes
but 1 1Ods took with most a powerful
misery 1 spouted one day and night
! on a dead stretch, an then 1 made bee
line for shore, an when he came to day
light he did look sea-sick. l know now
what aided me; he wore gum boots.' ]
looked kinder discouraged. He saw il
an took pity. Stick up yer foot
done so. He caught my boot in his
teeth an yanked it clean off Then be
served th'other one the same. Now
draw in a long BREATH 1 done So
Now rollin' up his matchless eyes,
come in out of the wet and 18th that
1 shot down his throat like a sky
rocket"
I gazed in speechless admiration
Here was a man who had seen tha
whale. 1 had his and the creature',
word for it, and who ever knew of {
whale telling lie?
"WelI," continued the narrator of th.
thrilling story, "it was dark as Erebus
down there, so 1 struck a match, anC
tried to scrape little fat off Nv his side
but he didn't take it calmly. Pm afraiC
Jony used improper language toward
that fish.
az then struck light and applied i
to his whole backbone, when the inside
of that critter flashed up like so muct
powder. Oh, how the oil did pour
"'Levy,' sez I, drink some water an
roll over on your back. For your OWL
sake, fur my sake, fur the sake of you
fatherless whalings, drink, oh drink I
drawtp
''He drank. When he rolled over b,
took me along on my head and singeC
my golden tresses close to the skull
Then he rolled back kinder weak, and
noticed the room a gettin' cold. Levy
ole feller" sez I, it's chilly But h,
never answered; so I started for hi
throat, and put my head out of hi
mouth. The ole chaps dorset fin Topped
over like a gum boot leg, and then
eyes o. his was closed in death, and hi
long, dark lashes rested on the marble
} pallor of his cheek. No wonder tht
room was cold. That light was toe
much for Jony's whale; it had fin
ished him. reached out an pulled il
cupple of oars, and gouged out som'