The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1875-11-11
ODDS AND ENDS.
The gamblers I deal-Four aces.

Why IS bill like an Old CHAIR! Be
couse it is better reseated receipted).
Hope of i'll gain is the beginning of
loss.-Democritus
Only hackmen are doing a driving
business.
The worst gauge for railroad is a
mortgage.
There is piece of soap in Albany
supposed to be 100 years old.
Problem in optics-Can cross-eyed
man be natural eyed?
The Danbury News says: HAS man
who is not bald-headed any right in an
orchestra?
Rejected lover-Bnt couldn't you learn
to love me2 Young LADY, might Tiff
I never saw you again.
What will the pull-back do on ice.
This question is in everybody's mouth
just now.
Table salt is served in China dis
solved in water, it being used in fluid
state.
ssDid my moustache trouble you?"
asked he to her. NO." she sighed,
81 only felt little down in the mouth. %
A saloon-keeper, in Indiana. adver-
tised his oyster as ''unapproachable,"
and then wondered why nobody tried to
approach them.
The question at present agitating
church choir is, Whether cold Hun
| dred" isn't better than the new ''Ninety-
| and Nine %
"Mike, have you settled that affair
with Lewis YETI eyes, he kicked me
off the stoop last week, and since that he
has stopped bothering me.
| Child-Does the Lord take the pa
pers? Mother-No, my child, why do
you ask? Child-Oh, I thought he
| didn't, it takes our minister so long to
tell him about things.
A Nebraska doctor furnished scalped
soldier with a piece Of Buffalo hide and
made his head as good as new. The
only trouble with the hair is that it
s'sheds" twice year.
Fisherman-"T ake care, Donald
you'll be drowned?" Donald-"Troon-
ed i'm dub like this! If I was I'd
be ashamed to show my face in Oban
again r'
Medium to the spirit of Sampson
'sWhat dye want?'' Spirit of Sampson
to medium 81 was wishin, L was alive
again, just to be pall-bearer to Gri-
bord's coffin -
A darkey left in charge of telegraph
Office while the operator went to dinner,
heard some one 'scall'' over the wires,
and began shouting at the instrument,
ssDe operator isn't yer The noise
ceased.
| Merchants, you should never let
Your advertising rest
Your big white hands were never made
To hang into your vest.
''Pa, guess our man Ralph is good
Christian" elbow so, my boy u ''Why,
pa, read in the Bible that the wicked
shall not live out half his days; and
Ralph says he has lived out ever since
he was little boy
George say, Tom, do take care
You nearly shot my father then Tom
Ssh don't say anything, there's a
good fellow! Take shot at mine -
Punch.
Here's philosophy 1.-The particles
that day before yesterday were grains
of wheat and yesterday were nerve and
muscle, to-day are sparkling thought.
Hence life hence oysters and all other
folks"
The Cinnamon smile scornfully at the
idea that telegraph wire can convey
messages a thousand miles in a few
seconds, but are ready enough to be-
lieve that the telegraph poles bring pes
thence and death.
They say that the cartridges are re-
markably tame in Connecticut this year,
because they fly into churches. That
SIMPLY showshow cute they are in tax
ing refuge where the sportsmen never
venture. Providence Press.
"Does my baby annoy you nights ?"
said found mother to serious-looking
young man, who occupied the adjoining
room. "Oh, no, not at ALL" he meek
ly replied; 81 love babies" And yet
he had been engaged for several days
upon an article in defence of Herod.-
Brooklyn Argus.
An elderly lady who with her daug-
ter, had just returned from rather a
rapid journey through France, part of
Germany and Italy, was asked the other
day if they had visited Rome, and she
replied in the negative. ella, ma yes
we did," said the daughter 'that
was the place where we bought the bad
stockings"
A Scottish student supposed to be
deficient in judgment, was asked by a
professor, in the course of his examina-
ton, how he would discover fool.
'sBy the questions he would ask" was
the prompt and highly suggestive
reply.
Grass-widow has been corrupted from
''grace-widow," meaning a divorced
wife, or widow by grace of law. My
gracious Where art thou2
'sMy young colored friend" said an
army chaplain to young negro, "can
you read % eyes, sab !" ''Glad to hear
it." said the chaplain. "Shall I give