Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-07-01
M,sceIIaneous.

miscellaneous.
shades of night-window curtains.
Sheet music-children crying IN
bed. =.
A noose-paper-a marriage certih-
cate.
The path of duty-through the
Custom House.
The cause of woman suffrage
scarcity of husbands.
What portions of the body are tne
hest trayelers-the two wrists.
Whist is that which, by losing an
eve, has only a nose Left A noise.
stamns are not required on notes;
but it takes stamps" to pay 'em.
Some ladies, this season, wear
wings-on their hats-but IL ooesn /
make 'em angels.
The hair from ladies' braid should
never be worn on the lapel Of gen.
tleman's coat, unless the parties are
engaged.
OLD LADY-sIs this smoking car
riageP' Fellow INSIDE )-''No, marin
if you want to smoke you must go
higher up"
zone thing" says an old topper,
''was never seen coming through the
rye, and that's the kind of whiskey
one gets nowadays.
"It's generally the case with bad
boys" philosophicalIy remarks Miss
Anthony, ''that they look like their
mother and act like their father.
sYour feet are very stylish" said
man to his friend, whose feet was
covered with bunions. mo, not
stylish, but exceedingly nobby," was
the good natured reply
A Kansas paper says:-"A mule
kicked an insurance agent IN this
place en- the cheek the other day.
The agents cheek was uninjured, but
the mules hoof was broken"
s'Can you inform me-" said a stu
dent to bookseller, whether l can
find anywhere the biography of Pol
lock9" Eyes, 1 dare say you will
find it in the Course Of Time"
A printers devil says his lot is q
hard one; at his boarding house they
charge him with all the pie they can't
find, and at the Office his employer
charges him with all the pi they de
find.
(Which had you rather do, go tt
Wheeling in Virginia, or Corning il
ar'-E1chaage Well WI
don't want to Berne Switzerland, 81
we'll go to Reading Massachusett:
over Andover.--Boston Ad0ertiSer.
When woman is care-laden ant
heavy-hearted nothing shakes the
megrims out of her quicker than fo
acouple of ladies to stop in front o
the house long enough for her to ex
anime the trimmings on their bon
nets.
81 swear" said gentleman to hi'
lady-love, '.you are very handsome
"Pooh!'' said the lady, $50 you would
say if you did not think So" "An(
SO you would think" answered he
though should not say So"
Probably no characteristic of ths
female mind is better developed thar
the docility with which women ac
cept the fashions of the day. Be
they beautiful or hideous, becoming
or unbecoming, comfortable or tor
turing, they are the fashion and
must be worn.
Oldlady (who sleeps badly;) 'Now
Mary, if / should want to light my
candle, are the matches thereS
Mary: Eyes, ma'am, there's wan.
Old lady: "One! Why, if it misses
fire, or won't light''-Mary: "Oh
divil a fear of it, ma'am. Sure
.thried it."
''Do you enjoy going to church
now?" asked lady of Mrs. Parting
ton. aLa, me, 1 do" said Mrs. Par
tington. 'sNothing does me so mucl
good as to get up early on Sunda..
morning and go to church, and hea
a populous minister dispense witt
the gospel"
A fond parent who bought a COY
for his summer residence in anticipa
tion of the delight that the produc
would cause his little daughter, wa
somewhat chagrined when Miss Peri
looking upon pan of nectar, ez
claimed: Oh, the horrid yellow scum
1t isn't half SO good as the nice blu
milk we get in Boston"