Union and American. [volume] (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1875-1877, 1875-12-23

MAKE way for Libertyr y he
said; make way for Liberty!" and
fed.
A CHOIR singer can no more be
converted than an undertaken can
be made sorry at funeral.
They make so much talk about
William Penn Bible that strangers
may think there is no other work
of the kind in Pennsylvania.-N.
q, RepubLeOa.
YoUNorTERs ought to understand
that Santa Claus pack is not very
full, this year, and that nothing
could disgust the old fellow more
than TO catch boy hanging up his
fathers ovralls. -LT-
In Vern ont, many men are chop
ping wood at thirty cents day and
their board, but these are, compar-
atively, bloated aristocrats, many
others not being able to get any.
thing whatever to do.
MIR. SURGEON said in recent SER
mon on public speaking: moro
over, brethren, avoid the use of the
nose as an organ of speech for the
best authorities are agreed that it
was intended TO smell with"
CnRIsTMAs time looms up in the
near future, and now devoted wives,
daughters andsweethearts begin to
save up their pin money, act mys-
teriously, look wise, and expect n
fenow-to behave toward them un-
usually soft and tender.
,wAEN you are on the way to your
marriage, young man, there is no
necessity of looking as though you
were on the way to n bank You
knew had kursted. A brave man
meets misery with a SMILE May
field Ky. Monitor.
AMERICAS favorite poet, George
W. Childs, A NJ, in order to avoid
any further vexatious Interruptions
of his labors for the dead, has given
notice that he will receive callers ut
his place of business in the after
noon only. Accordingly he is now
known as George W. Childs, Z. Nj.
ILL give five dollars to this
church, if you'll send some one mp
here TO get it, was the remark that
came from n stranger in the gallery
of a Portland church last Sunday,
lust before the benediction was
pronounced. All the deacons and
elders present made lively scram>
BILE for the gallery stairs.
TuE Glasgow (Ky.) Times says:
'An ole lady whose eyes have al
ways been used in taking observa-
tion, inquired of'hs not long ago if
we had ever known an old widower
Mt n camp meeting, who got shout
ing fit on him, to hug a woman over
forty years old. We, had to con-
fess that we could not state to the
contrary, but then we hadn't much
experience"
THat hoary narrative of tha barn
raising, at which little boy played
chicken with his sister and chopped
off her head, thus exciting his faith
er SO that the latter let go of log
aad unintentionally killed four men
has been having another great run
through the papers. Few lies have
travelled SO fast and so far, and
made so many trips, and age has
in no way impaired its viSor.
As John Henry was walking up
and down his bed room floor, at 4
O'Clock yesterday morning, with his
single garment AGttering in the
chilly air, and in his arms a baby
whose first tooth was trying to get
through, he soliloquized thusly:-
.eNow, this is what l got by marry
ing her, and the question which ag-
itates this aching brow is whether
she got it by marrying me. There
was swoop from the bed-clothes
rs If a hen hawk on its preyi ahoth-
er cry, more sLril and piercing,
blended with tie plaintive wall OF
tSe hapless infant; and as John
drew himself with painful labor ont
Of his tight fit in the coalscuttle, it
occurred to him to appreciate in a
IeS sense that beautiful passage of
Scripture which declaree that the
last end Of man shall be worse than
t. At = - =