The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-09-25
WHAT A YOUNG MAN SAW IN A STREET
ESCOpE

quired:
as it possible, gentlemen, that you do not
care To view the beautiful works Of nature
above the earth. Can it be true tha men Of
your intellectual appearance will sordily
cling to ten cents rather than take IA look
through this telescope ard bring the beauties
OF heaven within one and a half miles OF
your eyesy
The appeal was too much for one young
man to resist. He was "a tall young man with
long face, high cheek bones, and an anxious
look He looked at the ten cents and then at
the telescope, hesitaling for single instant,
and then took his seat on the stool.
Here Is a young man who perfcrs to feast
his soul with scientific knowledge rather
than become sordd, grasping, avaricious
capitalist remarked the astronomer, as he
arranged the instrument Fall back, You
people who prefer the paltry sum Of en- cents
to view the gates of paradise, and give this
noble young man plenty of room"
The noble young man removed his hat,
placed his eye to the instrument 4 cloth was
thrown over his head, and the astronomer
continued:
behold the bright star Of Venus, 4 sight
of this star Is worth thousand dollars to any
man who prefers education To money"
| There was an instant Of deep silence, and
/ lUtH tbt y buUS uidll
"By gosh"
| stood behind him and knew that the tcle.
scope pointed at the fifth story of Il building
across the square, where dance was in pro.
! grcSs.
"All Of them indulge in exclamat ons of
| admiration rs they view the beauties and
mysteries Ofnaturc,' remarked the asrOno-
nier. "IOHng man, tell the crowd what you
| see"
81 see Teller hugging girl" was the
prompt reply-"durned if there isn't a dozen
of them!'
"And YETI continued the astronomer,
there are SOrdid Wrctches in this crowd who
hang to ten cents in preference to observing
such sights as these IN ethereal space. Venus
is millions of miles away, and yet by this tec.
scope, and by paying ten cents, this intellectu.
| al young man is enabled to observe the in.
habitants Of that far-otf world hugging each
other just as naturally as they do in thism
! The instrument was wheeled around to bear
on the tower Of engine house No. :, five
blocks away, and the astronomer continued
| "BehOld the beauties and the wonders of
Saturn! This star, to the naked eye, appearing
no larger than silver halfdolar, and vet for
the paltry sum of ten cents this young man i
placed within one mile of it,
"By Jerusalem and coons" murmurcd the
young man as he slapped his leg
Tell them whatyou see, my friend
81 see two fellows in small room, smOk.
ing cigars and playing euchre!" was the
prompt reply.
Saturn is SG,COOOOO of miles from this
town." continued the astronomer, "and yet the
insignificant sum of ten cents has enabled this
progressive young man to learn for himself
that the celestial beings enjoy themselves
plpph nc do in 81
ture to say that there is not Il man in this
crowd who ever knew before that the ilhab
itants of Saturn knew anything about elchrc
or had cigar factories
The instrument was changed again, and as
the interest of the crowd increased AMI the
people began to press nearer, the professor
said
Now behold the planet of Mars. the sec.
ond largest planet in the heavens. 1t ) IS.
4Gl 354 miles from here, and appears b the
naked eye 10 be nothing more than bright
star, and yet lei this young man tell youwhat
he sees
Half a mile up the street ia the top story of
"a big building was an evening school. The
telescope got the range of one Of the windows,
and the young man almost leaped from the
stool as he shouted
"lIokey to alligators!"
at has been asserted by college sstiono.
mers that the planet Of Mars is not iiLab-
iteC," remarked the professor IN quite cut.
ting tones Some of them, pulled up with
their arrogance, have called me swildler,
and have abused this instrument, which was
constructed for me by order of the late En-.
peror Napoleon at u cost Of $4,000, but let
this observing young man tell you what he
SEES
"Whetstones and whiffletrees!'' exclaimed
the young man.
TELL them-tell them, my young fiiend,
what you see," urged the astronomer
There's Teller sitting on bench beside
q girl. l saw him pinch her ear, and she hit
him with a book.-Durn my buttons but
she's ALFRED purify
"Gentlemen, am no blow-hard," said the
professor In husky tones; II do not want to
tell you what this telescope can do. You
have the word of one of your fellow towns
men, and do not believe that any of yoa will
dispute him. | have been called swiadler,
gentleman, because go around the country
tearing away from astronomy the veil OF mys-
terry with which so-called professors draw
ing heavy salaries, seek to cover it, For the
ridiculous sum of ten cents am giving the
public more astronomical knowledge In half
an hour than any college professor can give
you in six months. | demonstrate to YOU
that the planet of Mars is not only inhabited
by human beings, but by beautiful girls with
red HAIR, and by stylish young men wearing
the best kind of store clothes"
Once more he wheeled the instrument
around. This time ii got the range of the up
per story OF tenement house on the hill.
The young man had scarcely taken a glance
through the tube when he yelled
Great guns! But what planet is thisg"
you are looking at Uranus" replied the
professor. uranus Is 97,502, 304 miles dis
tant from the earth, and yet warrant that it
doesn't appear over eighty rods away to you.
viii you be kind enough, my friend, TO tell
this crowd what you seey"
Give 1t to him! Whack him back! Go
in, old woman" shouted the young man,
slapping one leg and then the other.
Speak up, my friend. What do you see?"
That's it! Got him by the hair now I'll
bet fifty TO one that she'll lick"
Wont you be kind enough, my friend, To