The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
HOW 1 BECAME A FARMER.

One fine summer afternoon I deter
mined to become a farmer. Don't for
goodness sake think that / was going
to buy a farm, for such were not my in
tentions. No, not by any means Why
I had never joined the Patrons of Hus-
bandry was because 1 had been black
balled by that same organization some
thing less than half a dozen times. And
why I was not going to buy a farm the
reader can easily guess-I hadn't the re-
quired amount of funds.
But l am wandering away flom my
fine summer afternoon. 10 return I will
tell you why and what way I was going
to become a farmer /:
My bank account was no more, and my
landlady would not wait with me for an
other weeks board, hence my departure
from the city and my arrival among
farmers. The time was spring when 1
wandered among the rural districts.
The grass was just starting from its
mother earth, and looked inviting in the
extreme, to a lazy young man with the
world before him, and no one to take
care of but himself. When I say invit-
ing, l don't mean inviting to eat, but to
lie down and take comfort thereon. I
threw myself on the green sward meath
the shade Of a friendly bush growing
near the roadside. 1 was lying thus,
dropping into a delightful snooze, when
a voice from the highway disturbed my
calm repose.
"Say young Teller, what's the mat
ter ?"
I remained perfectly quiet, turning
the matter carefully over in my mind.
I was lying on my back, and, with very
little body exertion, I raised my left leg
to a perpendicular position, and gently
moved my foot up and down, and waited
to see the effect. And 10 this day, 1
solemnly believe, though l know 1 am
liable to be killed for saying il, that this
motion was the sign of distress among
the Patrons, for in an instance the man
in the wagon was at my side. Bending
over over me he said
what ails you, young man Z"
l said nothing for a moment, wonder
ing "f what ails you" was the test word,
and, if so, what would be the proper re-
Spouse. Finally groaned out-with a
mysterious and unknown working of my
fngers-the word, "Corn bread" With
a bounding heart 1 saw 1 had beyond a
doubt hit the nail on the head. With
out g word my fraternal brother assisted
me to rise, and led NE limping toward
the wagon, which stood in the road neal
by. He helped me into the wagon, and
after had imbibed something from a
little brown jug, 1 was able to tell my
rescuer the story of my wrongs. This
will not repeat for reasons best known to
myself. Suffice it to say, thatth farmer
was deeply touched by my tale. Iwound
up by telling him 1 wanted to get work
on q farm.
"Well, now," said my rescuer, "I
am looking for a cheap chap to work Oh
my farm. Did you ever shear sheep2'
"Oh, yes,"I said, 81 have done as
much of that as any other work about
the farm"
This was the truth, for 1 had never
been on the grounds of a homestead in
my life. I was just going to tell him
what a jolly time 1 had experienced last
Christmas, when the idea struck me
might be treading on dangerous ground,
SO ] determined to remain silent on the
subject until 1 learned something about
it.
Chow much will you pay a month fol
a good shearer," I ventured, determined
not to air my ignorance.
"How much q month" said he, with
unmistakable establishment. "Why
. man, I won't have shearing enough t.
last a week"
"Oh, yes,"I replied, "shearing on {
small scale, 1 understand"
"Small scale p he repeated with EN-
phasis. Chow many sheep are you uset
to shearing in the spring."
"Oh, that's all right" I replied
coolly. "Of course you will not shea
as many sheep in the spring as in til,
fall" And here 1 commenced to whist,
an unknown melody.
"Young man," said my companion
savagely, did you ever hear of shearin,
sheep in the fal1?"
Without paying any attention to thi
pointed question, I asked
Chow much will you a month pay TO
a farm hand, generally
well, I'll give you about eight dol
lars a month, and feed"
gave q prolonged whistle, wondering
what I would have to feed, but not dar
ing to ask.
"What do you say, young man, d
you hire7"
I didn't exactly understand him, bu
said "yes" at once.
We arrived at the farm a little afte
dark, and at ten o'clock I got into be-
between two burly farm hands, and 500
dropped to sleep to the music Of quaekinI
geese, barking dogs, and my two bed
fellows snoring an accompaniment. L