The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1875-11-12
IRREGULARITIES.

Inc stove was colo anu the Kette WOulQQt DOlls
50 she tilted the can and poured on : little oil;
: The. fast train telescoped = hog in
Hague street, yesterday, and threw the
squeal a mile distant.-Danbury Nesos.;
A. Pennsylvania printer who is the
father Of twenty-six children, lis puzzling
himself to account for the hard times. VI, 4
It is warm for the season around the
Leader office Of Cleveland, Ohio. The
man and woman of whom the Leader told
that she sawed his leg of arc making it
warm. ),
A Brooklyn girl is engaged to be maj
ried to an Italian Count, and in the course
of four or five years she may be looked
for on the street with hand:organ play
ing the usual tunes. "~
Florida papers report An almost total
failure Of the sponge crop, while North
ern frce-lunch saloon clerks say that there
are more sponges around this fall than
they ever saw before.
Nothing makes Georgia man SO mad
as to run a block after Thomas to Dor
row money Of him. to find that he is
Jones, a creditor who has been threaten.
ing to sue. Detroit Free Press.
When citizen of Rochester is blown
into the dreamy hereafter by a kerosene
lamp explosion the gas company officials
grimly remark: 'Comes O. fighting agin
honest monopoly"
Artemus Ward. VIC are told, used to
write with one leg over the arm of q
! chair. That was humorous substitute
for pen.-St. Louis Globe Democrat.
No, sir; the hatn,erus is in the arm, near
the funny bone,' although, perhaps,
there may be fun knee bone in the leg.
His reason for writing in this manner was
probably to make his writing more leg-i'
ble.-Danbury News.
Look here, gentlemen, why this howl
against ladies' striped stockings! It is
your solemn duty as \ respectable citizen
to walk along the street with your eyes
on level with second story windows, and
it's none Of your business what kind Of
stockings are shown on the cross walks
Anything is preferable to barefooted
woman. Detroit Free Press.
The Graphic has cartoon represent
ing Gov. Allen on tramp into Pennsyl'
vania. His clothing is dilapidated, his
shoes are down at the heel, and he wears
a shocking bad hat. He supports him
self on staff in his right hand, and in
his left hand he has lot of toy balloons
after the fashion Of the street vender
As he trudges along he sings:
Come all ye noble Bucktails and listen to my
song,
I'm weary, weak and feeble, and won't detain
you long,
Pm houseless and I'm homeless, and my buzz
| zum's full of woe
For my babby was took very sick in Ohio
iChorus) o! OF o! o! O!-hi!-o!
1t were took with wild commissions which wer.
trightill to behold,
It had wind upon its stomic, and it caught .
sht cking cold,
For the weather it was Hayesy, and the Polla'
Quite contrary to my babby's health in Ohio
[Chorus) OF O! o! 0! O!-hi!-o!
I remember once upon a time, making tn
remark
To my trend the Patriarh Noah, as we wen
into the ark,
cit looks little dubious!" That was severa
Well, the weather's very similar in Ohio.
tChorus) O! o! OF o! O!-hi!-ol
suppose my days is numbered, and I'll hav
to cash my chips,
But remember now the langwidge which
falling from my lips,
It's no barren Ideally, but the truth you ma
believe.
"Put not your trust in babies, they is likel
to deceive"
| Farewell. kind friends, I'll see you in hun
| dred years or 80,
Till then I'll drown my misery in Ohio.
(Chor,1s) O! @! O! o! O!-hi!-ol.