The Arizona sentinel., 1875-05-22


wrote an Oshkosh girl TO her beau.
A school director in iowa refus-
ed to hire teacher because she
spoke of her feet as "pedal extre-
mites" He said he "didn't
want the English language to go
to any such extremities.
No eetin appulS in school ours
reads sign on the blackboard of
a schOolhOuse in enlightened old
Massachusetts, where education
is supposed to sit on the top rail
and make faces at ignorance.
An excited Waterbury work.
man caught up a pail of water to
eXtInguish fire in a factory, the
other day, but perceiving that
the water was not he emptied it,
filled the pail with cold water and
put out the fire.
The case Of the Rev. T. Dewitt
Talmage affords another melan-
choly instance of the mental
blight that must inevitably aff1ict
the poor being whose parents per.
NIT him to part his hair in the
middle.
A prominent Detroit Univer-
salist, some three months ago.
married a red-headed widow with
tour children, and last week re-
marked to friend: 81 was blind
when | thought there was no
hell. | see now"
A hoy Of thirteen wishes to
know if hefs old enough to choose
his wife
He can choose her at thirteen.
nat should wait at least ten wears
before he takes possession of her.
N. Y. Ledger.
This is the season of the year
when the farmer tells his son
John, that if he will sort over ten
bushels of potatoes, feed the stock, |
repair that fence and reshingle |
the cOrn-crib he may have the
rest of the day rabbit-hunting.-
Detroit Free Press.
We read in the Bible. in the
18th chapter of lst Samuel and
18th verse, that "There was no
smith found throughout all the
land Of Israel" Of course not.
All the Smiths were living in this
country at that time, and thew
have wonderfully increased and
multiplied since then.
Mr.. Smiths compliments to Mr..
Brown, thinks it unnecessary that
his piggs should go through his
grounds.
Answer-Mr. Browns compIi-
meuts to Mr.. Smith, thinks it
equally unnecessary to spell pigs
with two g's.
When John Doom of Kansas.
took the napkins from the hotel
table and wiped his feet on them,
and then kicked the stove over
and threw the chairs around, they
decided that the only way to
quiet him was to lodge some
buckshOt under his ear.
YOUR FINGER NAILS.
Cut them on Monday, cut them for wealth:
Cut them on Tuesday, cut them for health;
Cutthem on Wednesday, cut them for news
Cut them on Thursday. a new pair of shoes;
Cut Them on Friday you'll cut them for woe
Cut them or Saturday, a journey to 20;
Cut them on Sunday, you'll cut them for
evil;
For all the next week you Il be ruled by the
devil.
A Syracuse girl declined to en-
gage herself to the object of her /
affections until his father had
given her written guarantee
that his son was not only sound
physically, bot of good morals,
gentle and w fanted to behave
both in "single and double har-
ness"
A toad under a harrow is sup
posed to be in an unpleasant and
beautiful situation, but its situa-
ton is enviable compared with
that of "feIler" who sees his
sweetheart sucking at one end of
a stick of candy and his rival
gnawing at the other.
A temperance lecturer out West
gives each of his audience a glass
of whisky to show how vile a
drink it is, and all the temper.
ance folks flock to hear him, and
make wry faces after a good stiff I
horn. He is a down-east Yankee, p
of course, and has studied human
weakness all life.
Josh Billings announces his L
readiness to officiate as referee in 81
projected spelling match in
Boston. The BOstonians are al
ways sure to keep their weather
eye skinned in search of talent,
hoWpVar huUhlo tho candidate :