Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-08-11
THOSE CIRCUS BILLS


| the headlines.
She was old-fashioncd in her look
There were strings to her bonnet, sh
had no hustle, her gray hair was comb
ed down smoothly, and thero wer,
only eleven yards in her black alnacc
dress.
Young man, don't you know tha
circuses are awful liars and humbugs /?
she family inquired.
The man at the tahic leaned back il
his chair, and refused 10 express a,
opinion.
'Well, | know H." she continued il
positive tone, ''and | believe the,
get wuss every day. Now see here.
listen to this: "A gorgeous panoram,
OF amazing wonders--n gigantic com
binstion OF astonishing acrobatic tai
ent. That's all right on the poster
but hev they got 'em p Lid like TO SO,
one O. them animals"
"1ou are laboring under mistake
madam. 1, means grand display OF
natural curiosiiies. aud informs thl
public that the proprietor has secured
many first-class acrobats--the chapI
who stand on their heads, turn hea
over heels, and cut up 80 many mon.
key Shines" -aHtag ,.tI NJ.
"It does, eh 2H she mused "waal, de-
you believe it takes smart person L
keel over?' '.'l :"
"Well, ono has to have good deal
of training ha a. Gaa
They do, ehs' she, remarked. al
she put her umbrella in the corner and
spit on her hands; "I'il show YOU tina,
you are deceived I'm an old woman
but IL can't" ys&5 a5si 3aBa n
Madam, hold ou--don't do it.1 cx.
claimed the man behind the table.
II can flop right over there and new
or shake my bonnet" she said as she
rose up. aa nt
81 know yon can. madam, but don't
am here alone, and IL don't wani
you to. Id rather you wouldn't. II
you are determined on IL, shall leave
the room.' e4 9@~s
"Wcll, you know I can do it, and
that's enough. "You may be right
about what that means, bnt see here
hear this: sThe highways ablaze with
resplendent chariots-thc grandest
pageant on earth I've bin to lots OF
circuscr, young man, and I never saw
q pageant yet. If they had one, door
OF his cage wasn't OPEN"
"You are In error there. The bill
refers to the fact that the great num-
Der of wagons, chariots, ETC., make up
q sight worth seeing as they pass along
the street."
"Um-m-m," she muttered, as she
folded tho bill over 81 don't see why
they couldn't have said 30 then. And
now see here-read that: Sig GOWN
of, in his mrial flights Now. then, ID
that boa constructor or a cundursn-
go?" 81.
st is a man, madam-one of the
performers. His real name is proba-
bly, Jones, but that is not grand enough,
and 80 they put him down as Sig Gov
inoff' He is the man who jumps off q
rope, turns over twice, and comes down
all ri. ht."
"He is ch? Well, ifhv's got an idea
MAI mes tne smartesr mau alive 4 wan,
to disappoint him. never did try tc
turn over twice, but I'll do it righ,
here and now or break my neck. Git
sAS Oi ~ thht
"Stay, madam-don't. l wouldn't
have you to do it for fifty dollars.'
"Just once!'
s'Forheaven's sake madam, get down
off'n this table-here-here's dollar
if you won't do it!' .:f
81 don't want your money, and
wont try 1t ii your go scarf, but I
don't want no circus going around
talking about arvAl flights and deceiv-
ing the people!"
She sat down, the young man wiped
the sweat off his brow, and presently
she remarked:
"And hero's another thing. right
here: "A sparkling astcrisk, flashing
across the fold OF the cloth of gold
Mons. Gomeriaue in his great define.
ations of human character ia like
TO know who she is." a NW eq-'
s'Madam, that is q mana man who
delineAtes character" 1t
Howl
"Why, he makes up faces--exprcsses
mirth. sorrow. Joy and so forth" H@
"Hc does, Ell? Well, what's that to
blow about? Make up faces--see
herew
And she shut her eyce, run her
tongue out, and looked like the bottom
Of brass kettle which had been kick.
ed in by q mule. & ia
"They arc humbugs, cir she said, as
she drew her tongue in, s'and dye
s'spose I'd pay fifty cents to 90 to
one ?" AN'@''''h sA5 .lt2 ,
"They are quite entertaining as a
general thing"
"They are, eh? Entertaining. eh !?
Well, OF / can't do more entertaining
in ave minutes than a circus can in all
day III leave my bonnet up here =
Here, hold on to this chair,,'
s'Madam, earnestly hope yon arc
not going TO perform any tricks.' \.
IL hain't eh? Yoa Just hold on, to
the legs of this chair
II can't madam-i wouldn't do it
for all the diamond pins in Syracuse [!
Go away, madam-go home, Pm in an
awful hurtyy
"Well, / wouldn't then, bnt when
say circuses arc humbngs, l can prove
it. I don't keer two cents for their
big words and their panoplies pageant,
asterisks, girafies, aryals, georgouses
and ourang- ng-outangs-I eau beat en- all
holler myself
And she took off her spectacle. lit
ed her umbrella and went down
stairs.