Richland beacon., 1875-05-01
OUR SPICE. BOX.


Spring !, on hand. Lettuce have peas
Improving one, time--meudiug the clock.
The home circc-Waikng around with the
baby AT night.
What is better than promising young man!
A paying one.
When man cant fluid anything to do. lac
has lived long enough.
Why i, the sun like good loafl Because
its ligh, when it rises.
Question for actors-can an actor be said to
work when he plays
In what ship has the greatest number of
people been wreckcdr Partnership.
The man who doesn't hang out his single
and advert sc dies and leaves 40 sign.
Those who rise to eminence suddenly are
very ap, to come back by the next train.
Spanish provcrb says: a kiss without
a moustache i, like an egg without salt
When fortune wants to let a fellow being
fall the hardest she lifts Linn up the highest
Bashfuncss is often like the plating on
spoons-whcn it wears III it shows the brass.
Marble top tables are unhealthy, according
TO the Herald Of Health. but it does Ut state
their disease.
The spelling mania is raging. Parties of
fur al the cars turn two seats facing each
other and SPELL.
Tie Rock County Recorder ea!s its funny
paragraph column III this way: "W itch
with Scissors Those wItiicisms ought GER
tainly to be sharp.
Boss Tweed doesn't think r a.mcnt at
the penlteutiary very benign. On tie contra.
~ lie thinks 1t is Tx.
"Why do you use paint" asked a Vol isl
of his daughter; "for the same reason that
you use rosin, paI "a How is that!' "WLy,
TO help me draw my beau
Nevada icc-dcale-s are aIrealy preparing
TO double their prices next summer, upon the
ground that the crop will he almost entirely
eaten up by the gra>shorpers
A young lady whiin out walking heard. tor
the first time, her mother rs intention TO marry
again, and she was obliged 10 sit RICH, down
and cry about it. She could not 20 step
farther.
II George Washington himself had only
been cro.s-eXamined by Judge Fullerton be-
fore he died, there Is doubt but that it
would have turne out that he really lied
about the cherry tree after all.
mo eetn appuls in school ours" reads
sign on the blackboard of schoolhouse in
enlightened Oil Massachusetts, where educa-
ton is supposed TO sit on the top rail an
make faces 81 ignUrance.
A subscriber TO Western newspaper died
recently, leaving iOuI years subscription Iln-
paid The editor appear :d at the grave aud
deposited in the collin palm leaf fan,
linen coat aud thermometer.
clergyman in one of the Eastern cities
was met by a s'edy looking man with a flask
Of whisky in his pocket, who inquired sir,
is this the nearest road To the almshouse!
"No sir, but tina, is" replied the clergyman,
pointing TO the bottle.
We real in tie Bible, in the 18th chapter
OF 81 Samuel and loih verse, that There
was no smith found throughout all the land of
Israel OF course not. A II the Smiths were
living in this country at that time, and they
have multiplied wonderiuky since then.
An honest old gen leman from rural coun-
ty, who went down TO New York TO spend
the Sabbath with friends, was asked by one
Of them what the people up his way thought
Of the Becchcr scandal. He replied lac never
tried it, and didn't know anything about it
that he aud his nc gibbons burned kerosene.
Napoleon was one day. searching for a
hook in the library at Malmaison, and al last
discovered it on shelf somewhat above his
reach. Marshal Money, who was present
one of the tallest men in the army-siepped
forward, saying: Permit me, sir; am higher
than your majesty" "You are longer, mar
shall, SAID the emperor, with frown.
Detroit boys seem To advance in education
whether they attend school or not. A news
boy who couldn't change a ten-cent piece
year ago. was recently heard remarking
William Scott, if you ever corrugaie your
brow at me in that way again, shall tempo.
rarily deposit my papers on the pavement,
and cause the blood to cosgulate under your
left optic. Hear me, Willam?'
boy abort twelve years old, knocked at
the door of a house in Detroit, and when the
lady appeared he said "Therell be a boy
around here pretty s"on To clean your walk
hut don't give him the job His name Jim:
he's cross-eyed and he blows cats up with
powder snaps. II b, here with nv partner
pretty soon. We 20 TO Sunday school, never
sass our mothers, an! we are going TO give !
half our money TO the grasshoppersn The |
job was saved for him.
The reporters were not admitted to the late
lecture OF Miss Agnes Burke, at the Unitarian
church, N. Y. They say "Of corsets all |
right" but rs the public punts for Information
on such subjects, it was natural that the !
knights Of the quill should cndeavor to CLEAN |
some knowledge Of the proceedings We |
learn that the lecture about sew sew, and |
the lady did not hang on the outskirts of her !
subject, but struck the trail at once aud fol- |
lowed j, up. She np-braidcd tightlacers. !
and -a-hem - suggested suspenders for
Hose lasiness is it anyhow,