Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-01-28
THE LYON COUNTY TIMES
VARIETIES.

SlNt OuG VI OiNt II . IA A"AA'
The one thing needful for the
perfect enjoyment of love is con-
fidence. Same with hash and
sausages.
There's trouble bruin for John
Barr, of Indiana. Miss Ella Bear
is about to sue him for breach OF
promise; damages, $4,000.
Young Lady lat the post office
eff l don't get letter by this
mail, 1 want to know what he was
doing Sunday, that's all
An old lady, hearing somebody
say the mails were irregular, said:
Z" 1t was just so in my young days
no trusting any of EN-"
Be assured that when once a
woman begins to be ashamed of
what she ought not to be ashamed
of. she will not be ashamed of what
she ought.
A family in Pike county in this
State, have ten children, who are
called by the following queer nick
names Buck, Squirrel, Yank,
Diddle, Daddle, Tint, Pitipan,
Poss and Funny Button, while the
children call their parents Boardy
Pink and Skid.
A LONG ISLAND taxpayer made
the following speech in discus
sion upon the manner in which the
educational affairs were coducted
"Mr. Chairman, [ arise to stand
up, and am not backward to come
forward to support the grand ques-
ton of education; for, Mr.. Chair
man, without education. | would
be as ignorant as you are yourself,
Mr.. Chairman.
A bore is a man who spends so
much time talking about himself
that you can talk about yourself.
A lawyer once asked hotel keep
er the following question: of a
man gives you hundred pounds to
keep for him, and dies, what do you
do; Do you pray for himn" j." No,
sir,' replied the landlord, ~ pray
for another just like him."
The exclamation of an old lady on
hearing of the execution of a man
who had once lived in the neighbour
hood, was, "Well, l knowed he'd
come to the gallows at last, for the
knot in his handkerchief was always
slipping round his left ear
"Your handwriting is very bad
indeed" said gentleman to a friend
more addicted to boating than to
study; "you really ought to learn o
write better" "Ay, ay," replied
the young man, ait is all very well
Tor you to tell me that, but if [ write
better, people would find out how
SPELL"
Justice in Cincinnati, is thus
painted by the artist of Saturday
Night: Judge Merchant tilted his
armchair back, and rested his boots
on the pencil rack; Worse than
gin the courtroom smelt, and
oh, how wretched his honor felt-tor
it grieved his nature to be severe,
and he socked on the fines with
many tear.
A ten-year-old, boasting to a
schoolmate of his fathers establish
nent, put it as follows: "NIy father
can do almost anything. He's a
notary public, 'pothecary, and can
pull teeth, and he's a horse doctor,
and he can mend wagons and things
and can play the fiddle, and he's
jackass at all trades" ...
Mrs. Boomer, if the good soul ia
still alive, must be profoundly dis
gusted, in these days, not so much
at the disregard of her teachings on
the part of women, as by the ten.
dency of mems overcoats to assume
the semblance Of those garments
which have kept one half of the race
in condition Of degradation and
subsection. f~fG
A nice paper that Newport Express
will be! The editor says, ave shall
publish nothing, however, that any
one can take offence at"
A gentleman was once, riding il
Scotland hv q hlooob;,, ,.xa... 4