The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-05-20
me Yorkshire Butcher.

It's queer thing, sir, hoo things turns
= DOT sometimes. Moo il war queer thing
hoo CHANGED TO wed. / war / Leeds
once, an I'd ma mair thowts about mar
ryin' ma mair AN nowt an / war just
goln' doom T. street, tina kDaws, sir, when
l met VII my wife-that's her ats my
vile moo, tina knaws. I'd kennel her
afore, piece back; soa shoe comes oop to
me, an shoe ses, Why, james, lad, IS
that theer Ay,' ses, 1T is swever.'
why ses she, whats ia dom wi thy
sen moor Why ses, Is jOost getteD
me new hoose' Sea VII that she ses,
Then lay, James, if tha's gettin new
hose, tha'll be wantin' a hoosekeeper.'
Soa | ses to her, ses |, 'Tha ma COON an
be wife if ia likes; tina mawnt be Z
hoosekeeper, tia knaws, but tina ma COON
an be { wife, And soa shoe ses, i amt
partikler | don't mind if do So we
never had ma MAR to do aboat t. job"
| asked him If he had found occasion 10
regret such an expeditions way Of settling
the matter. He shook his head and said :
Noa, sir, niver. Shoes made rare
good wife. But Shoes her naugrums a.
times. But what women amt got en- I;
They've all on 'em maggots i their heads
Or tempers''
When he was married he took his wife
"trip to Bolton, and spent a week on his
honeymoon tour. As soon as he was re-
turned home the first thing lie did was to
put his wife into the scales TO weigh her.
Then the butcher took out his account
book and divided the expenses Of the
marriage and wedding tour by the weight
Of the wife
fourteenpence-hapen a pound. Thou'st
= hot I
bought
He was going to York with his son, a
boy OF eighteen He took ticket for
himself and half one for the boy. When
The train drew near to York the ticket col
lector came round and exclaimed at this
hafticket:
Where's the child:n
Here sasd the butcher, pointing to
the tall, awkward youth
What do yon meansn asked the in
dignant ticket collector He amt a
child; he's young manE
All! 80 he Is, now,p answered the
butcher, but that's thy fault, not mine
| know that when we got in at Wakefield
he were nobbut BARN; but thast been
goin' so COMPOUNDED slow that he's growed
sin we startedt'
James was at one time not well off He
had brother Tom who had some money.
NOW James happened to hear that his
brsther was very ILL., and, as they had not
latterly been very good friends, he was
AFRAID lest, if Tom died, he would not
leave him his money. So he Immediately
SET Oh 10 his brothers house, and on his
arrival found him i'll in bed. He went
up to the room in which his brother lay,
and began:
Weel, an HOBART a -
Oah, James!' said Tom. ats vara
bad think Is boun' to dee"
Eh" said James well, mebbe thalt
outliye me, Tommy; / nobbut feels vara
mlddlln' mysen. | hain't fOlt wecl for a
long while, an | war just thinkin', Tom
my, O. sendin TO Mr.. Smith, Z lawyer, to
max me bit o. a will, tina knaws, Hast
a made thy will, Tommy"
Noa, " said Tom, " haint; but I war
think4n' wi thee, James, o sendin' for
Lawyer Smith. Moo, hoo vast a thinkiD'
o. maxim thy will James?n
Weel, tina knaws, Tommy" said
James, "mebbe thou an me haint lately
been yara partiklers; but | war thinkin' it
ever owt Ia be, Let bygones be bygones,'
an soa was thinkin' o leavin' my bit o
brass TO thee. Moo, Tommy, hoo vast
thinkin' O leavin' thy money!
Why" said Tommy, =" as thou'st been
ga good as to leave thy money Ia me, |
think it wadn't be rect if didn'tdot' same
by thee, an leave thee my money"
Weel," said James, Il think you
couldn't do better; and soa, let's send for
Mr.. Smith to max our wills, and / think
mebbe, Tommy, thou'd better ha' thy will
made fustn
SO these two men sent for the lawyer to
make their wills. Tommy was first made,
and very few days after he died His
money then came TO james, who in reality
was not i'll in the least, but had only
pretended to be so