The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1875-01-08
NEVADA STYLE.

but happened to Edgar Allan Poe.
NEVADA STYLE.
How a Fashion Reporter Reported
Lived and Died.
The fashion reporter of an Austin
City, New, paper described the belle of
the masquerade ball in the following as
founding language "The most gorge
Gus, stunning, heightened, richest, fastest
classest, incest, or any other adjective
for costume in the outfit was that worn
by Miss frankie Clarke. She was the
high falutinest, gayest, and galusest
dressed gal in the room. She appeared
as page, and she was page that no man
would leave another read. Both in cost
ume and action she was as perfect az a
big sunhower." A couple Of days after
the appearance of the notice, into the
editorial room .of the paper stalked
young man. His brow was wrapped in
thunder, his body in suit of tweed,
and his hands clasped big lump of
hickory. He pulled paper out of his
pocket, and pointing his finger to the
paragraph, said 81 want ter see the
man as wrote that ere." Il am the in
dividual," replied the person. "Wat
did yer 60 and do it for, that's wat
want to know?" 40, because 1 thought
you'd like to see your girl made out one
of the most bewitching females that was
ever sent on earth to keep a man from
his hash and drive balmy sleep from his
pillow" "Now, look here. Ever since
that was published can't get word
out of her. She sets in front of the
looking glass and keeps gazen' on her
self, and maxim squint eyes at her dress
and puckerin' up her mouth, and actin
as if she were blasted sight better'n
anybody else. l want this ere thing
fixed, or there'll be editors situation
vacant" He looked significantly at his
club. For a moment the reporter stood
in profound thought then his face
frightened and he said, "Ill fix it in next
weeks paper. After you've seen the
next issue, call and tell me the result"
The young man left. In the next weeks
paper appeared the following para
graph.
"A c. RREcTIoN.-We made grave
mistake in our issue of last week. In
our description of the masquerade ball,
we accidentally substituted the name of
Miss frankie Clarke for that of Miss
George Waller. Any one who is ac-
quainted with the first named lady must
have discovered the error. 1t is true
that she appeared for what was intended
as a page, but she looked good deal
more like boot black in hard luck.
She is not good looking, her actions
were absurd, and every man in the room
kept as far from her as possible. She
thinks of moving out of this community
as it's unappreciatiye. When she goes,
she will be escorted out of the town by
a brass band. The people of Austin will
gladly miss her from among them"
The next day the young man entered
the Office. In his hand he bore rife.
and his belt was ornamented with a big
six-shooter and a tremendous bowie
knife. He sailed up to the reporter. 81,
look warlike, don't I? don't feel bit
like ightin,' you bet. You jest oughter
have seen her when she read that cor
rection. Why, she Jest danced a jig
with madness, and sot down and cried,
and then she come up and threw
her arms around my neck, and said
Arthur, do you love meP you bet your
best bonnet on that said l. Well, nev-
er expect me to speak to you again If
you don't go and kill the fellar wat writ
that SANDER In course / promised
And here l am to kill you" He laugh
ed long and heartily. After time he
quieted down, and the reporter said 81
suppose; in order to make it all right
between you and your girl, I've got to
become corpse. I'll do it. Sit there
minute, and I'll fix the business" He
sat down at desk, and scribbled away
for few minutes, and then returned
with a sheet of paper on which was
written.
"OBITUARY.-It grieves us to be COM
PEELED to announce the sudden death of
Mr.. Charles Keller, the young and tai
ented fashion editor. In a moment Of
mental alteration he had slandered an
estimable, accomplished, and beautiful
young lady of this city, named Miss
frankie Clarke. Yesterday her betroth-
ed called at this Office and asked for the
author Of the slander, and when he dis
covered him, shot him dead on the spot.
This paper will be unable to give fash
ion gossip hereafter. We find it I'M
possible to fill the place left vacant by
Mr.. Keller. Though erratic, he was a
man of kindly heart, and could listen
more attentively to stale stories, and
drink more bad whisk, than any man in
Austin. R. 1. p"
That's your Sort" said the infuriated
lover. "That's the thing to T. Come
along, Mr.. Corpse, and hist a little
lightning" The lady was satisfied when
the paragraph appeared in the next issue
of the paper, her lover was regarded as
hero, and the Austin paper ceased to
give reports of fashionable balls.
Trismphaut Impudence.
p,apohar of fba har ~as racapt1v -,