The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-07-20
Reclpe lor q Fast GlrI.

Washington Capital
After the daughter OF Is has received
whomsoever she has invited to her "com-
ing-out" ball, the duty OF her father is to
respond to all demands for brocades and
bouquets, gloves and CATERS, and never
to hint at the difficulty OF making "bOth
ends meet" The mothers duty is more
complicated and is Of a negative charac-
ter. 1t might be generalized into gold
en- rule Of always being out OF the way,
and OF never asking any questions
|. lfa young gentleman comes to see
her daughter, she must incontinently
leave the room, after exchanging civilities
about the weather..
9. II she happens TO enter the room sud
denly, and interrupts scene from Romeo
and Juliet, she must retire without being
discovered, il possible; or, il recognized.
must busy herself in arranging the cur
tains until the two young people have re-
tired to the respective extremities of the
sofa, leaving a virtuOns waste Of green
rep between them.
3. liza young and comparative stranger
calls in u hired carriage to take her
daughter to the play, opera or german,
she must not let her fastidiOusnesS get the
better of her good breeding and insult the
escort by suggesting Chaperonc for the
young lady, but on the contrary must con-
fdc, with becoming alacrity, her child,
the prOprieties Of life, and, ii necessary,
the night.key to the magnanimity of the
young man.
4. II the chambermaid tells her, the
next morning, that the shoulder Of Mr..
Fit1simmons swallOw-tNil coat was "all
over white when they came from the
party, and that It looked lawful 'spiCious'
she must dismiss that servant.girl with
out u "character," she must not scold or
upbraid her daughter, but mildly sng-
gCst to her the unbCcomingness Ofpowder-
ed hair,
8. II friend Of the family calls and
CondoIes with her on the report that the
champagne went to her daughters head
at the J0nescs ball, and everybody knew
1t; that young Jones and her daughter
were caught flirting on the stair
way, whence they retreated into the
aviary, and there might have
staid until the last guest had gone II
the parrot had not snapped at her dia.
mond earring and half swallowed it,
which caused her to give scream that
brought the servants with lights and ex.
hibited her bracelet inextriCably fastened
to young Jones collar button, all Of which
he explained very unintelligibly and to
nobody's satisfaction. At this point,
when this disinlerestGd friend stops to get
breath, the mother must explain that her
daughter was sitting on the stairway
with young Jones because she was
passionatcly fond Of birds and
to get "whin" Of fresh air
that il was Friday, on which day her
daughter always tasted; that wine abhOrs
an empty stomach as much US nature does
vacuum, so the one glass Of champagne
her daughter took with young Jones went
straight to her head; that it might have
gone to Il minister's head under similar
circumstances, in fact it frequently did
She must then alleCtOnately kiss the
friend Of the family goOd.by, inwardly
vOwing never to forgive her for meddIe'
some busy.body, and let her daughter go
the next night, to the german with the
identical Jones.
8. II her daughter appears in Il dress
whose body almost ends where the skirt
begins, she must not allude to the fact
that, although the mother Of all Of us de
spised superabunhance Of drapery, there
iSa traditionary prejudice against young
girls going back to first principles; sht
must only hint nj the risk Of catching
cold.
I. II the handsome Col. LothAriO, whC
leaves nm ugly, rich wife at home will
his portrait to keep her company, com
pliments her daughter with frequent anC
costly floral offerings, the mother mus
conline her observations to his exquisite
taste in the choice and combination o
flowers
s. II any wcll.dressCd and wclI.mnn
ncrcd ndventurer, without any visible
means Of support, tossed by the poIittca
waves which nowadays bring 80 man,
Of the unknown to the surface sncl
an one drops in to luncheon three times
week, she must not ask, "Who is he" ]
will be time enough To ask this question
when he runs away with her daughter
and then abe will, in all probability, dis
cover that he Ia peripatetic Mormon,
dry-land sailor, with deserted wife n
every station along the line of the PaciIl
railroad.