The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-07-09
Paddy Wards Epitaph.

ourselves seriously to inquire wi,1 ne
always found in death and the grave cue
sufficient food for easy and even cheer
jest. In one Of the prints OF fioibeiu .
"Dancc>' the King of TcrrOrs is represent
ed leading 4 little child away from q cot.
tage. with an Understandable grin upon his
fleshlcSs face. OF lapidary fun there is no
end. and in the collection of ep:taphs
many mortals have found Il permanent
amusement. The same ttin partitions
which divide wit and madness are all that
there is between the lugUbriOus and the
laughable; most of Us in the midst of 4
great sorrow have been tOrmented by the
intrusion of ludicrOus thoughts; while at
funerals il is not uncommon for something
to occur which severely tests our gravity.
The humors of an Irish wake have been
over and over again related, and now we
have the humOrs of an Irish tombstone.
There was a drOll DEBATE the other day
at a meeting ofthe Guardians of the Drog-
heda Union. 1t happened in this way.
Long ago in Drogheda there lived one
Paddy Ward, a jOyial gentleman, who
took a fancy to erecting his own mOnu-
ment in the place where he intended 20 be
buried. He did so: and upon the stone
he caused to be inscribed the following:
Z" Beneath this stone here iieth one. that
still his friends did please; to heaven !
hope he's surely gone, to enjoy eternal
ease. He drank, he sang, whilst here on
earth, lived happy as a lord, ana now he
has resigned his breath, God rest him.
Paddy Ward!" Considering that in or
dering this inscription, Mr.. Ward had
every thing his OWn way, we must declare
that it strikes us as singularly modest.
The :" hope is a little ambiguous; bur
even if by the pronOun Mr.. Ward is him
self to be understood, q man NAV surely
be pardoned for merely hoping that he is
to 90 to heaven. The candor with which
Paddy Ward admits his bacclanalian pro-
pensiticS gives truth to Il tombstone which
is not always foundthere, if we may credit
the prOverb. Having set up this memoir
al of himself, Mr.. Ward, according TO ira
ditiOn, dedicated it by giving a party on
thespot, at which he, with all his guests.
got gIOriouSly drunk" In due
time he was gathered to his
fathers and placed under the
stone. When the Rev. Mr.. Powdcrly,
2. p, came to rule spiritually over the
vicinage, he was greatly shocked and
scandalized by the inscription, and he or
dcIcd it to be cffaced, allowing only the
words God rest Paddy Ward" to remain.
Then. indeed. there was u row and riot
and rumpuS in shat parish, and Mr.. Owen
Markev, taking the matter up. asked Tor
the dismissal Of Johnny McGcOugh, the
sexton who had not reported the detacG-
ment. Mr.. Marley said that so much did
he admire the inscription that whenever
he had employed a stOne-cuttcr he haG al
ways ordered him Ito give a little touch
to Paddy Wards tombstone The Rev.
Mr.. POwderly, being called upon 10 de
fend his prima facis piece of vandalism.
made 4 most solemn spec, h 10 the Guard
ians. in which he argued the matter thus:
There would be no sense at all in writ
ing that Paddy Ward drank, if it was not
intended TO convey that he drank too
much-in plain English, that he was a
drunkaId: and the words he sang could
only mean that hc sang the indecent and
rihali eongs in which ArunkardS are wont
to indulge - land yet" said Mr.. Powder
ly, we are told :h5t TO heaven hciS surely
gone Was This Il thing ''tO be read"
by the children of the parish - ut a time,
too, when the vice Of intemp"rance was
was spreading over the whole country -
He hadn't in the least injured the stone.
but he had given the deceased a respect
able, decent temperance epitaph, with
"GOd rest Paddy Ward,' as legible as
ever.
The Board Of Guardians appears 10 have
been bothered and unable to com 10 any
decision. Mr.. Mangan asked Mr.. Markey
sit he intended TO renew the inscriptiOn?' o.
Mr.. Markcy answered promptly and de-
ciSiycly: Il will. by the blessing of
God :" and so the matter was allowed 20
drop.
At first it seemed hard that Il mar
should nOt be allowed to have an
epitaph according TO his own taste, though
that may not be a creditable one. Butthe
inscription is the business of the living
who are to read it. If a man sees tit to
set up for his In NsmOraGm something
obviously against good morals, it is the
right of the public to pull it down. If he
wishes to be off nsiveiy eccentric in this
way, he should be buried in his own back
yard, or bny a private and personal
cemetery tn be funny in.-Nsw FORK TTi-
b~ne.
A Birthstone Town.