Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-02-10

"l've only been looking around to ind
John Schumaker's memory"
Twisted hemp cures felons.
-Materialized spirits-Frozen whis-
key.
They call A. II. Stephens NINETY
pounds Of dried Confederacy."
The financial pressure is loosen
ing. Even the days are not SO "short"
- they were.
How different national tastes are
For instance, q bsld-headed man is
greatly honored in Persia.
Since the hard times struck Ne
vada they have raised the price OF
killing Cinnamon to seven dollars.
Having been on all sides OF the
Louisiana question, the Chicago Irib-
une is now dangling its loose legs "on
the fence"
-Schumaker's constituents are send-
tuK him nuncr0us aet&eea telling him
ne IL traitor, tn1er ana perJurrr, MS
though he does not know 1t!
Now suppose the Beecher-Tilton
jury should take it into its collective
head to lecture after all this is over
We are In the hands of Providence.
The Ithaca Journal is not the best
authority on sporting matters. 1t
states that the original "home stretch"
is the stretch across the maternal knee.
The Gardiner, Maine, journal
says that there is store in that place
in which skull is kept, marked =
"This man was drummer. Beware!'
"a man who fears the Lord and
can carry home an intoxicated men,
Der, . is the kind of Sergeant-at- Arms
they want for the Minnesota Legisla-
ture.
Conclusion of Hon. Schuyler COL
fax's great lecture on Lincoln: aHav-
ing reached the topmost round of the
ladder Of fame, he stepped into the
skics."
"A Scotch divine recently praying.
said: 20, Lord, give unto us neither
poverty nor riches," and pausing SOL
emnly moment, he added, "especial-
ly poverty"
Andy johnson says he goes to
Washington as the representative Of
an 0nte-bellum Democracy. That's
good, but an ante. believing Democra-
cy would be better.
-"Your feet are not very stylish"
said Q man to his friend, whose feet
was covered with bunions. mo, not
stylish, but exceedingly nobby," was
the good-nstured reply.
AT Indianapolis, the other day,
mans family quarreled so flercely over
the will that he was about to sign, as
he lay on his death bed, that the police
had to interfere to restore peace.
Young America is very forward.
"IlI put . head on you," said o little
gamin to . companion. "You try it."
was the quick reply, "and your moth
er,s monkey will be a cherub in ten
seconds."
While the Grand Duke Nicholas
10 driving his head against mad-house
walls, the actress he gave his mothers
diamonds to is driving her four-in-
hand against time on the Partisan
boulsvaFds.
My rule" says one of the most
successful ofthe great New York mer-
chants, 'sis to advertise freely in tho
papers when business is dull for when
business II brisk it Is not necessary"
That's sensible.
-"How charmingly naive she is"
said . young beau to Q crus.y old gen
tleman. "Knavew exclaimed the lat
ter, gazing through his spectacles to-
ward the coquettish beauty indicated,
II should say more Of fool"
Truman Smith very tcrsely de-
scribed modern Democracy as being
soriginsl sin carried into actual trans
gression," and We might add, it is the
only evidence which has kept up a
faith in the doctrine Of total depravity.
Fort Worth (Texas) Standard
Ono day last week an excitable young
man, while fording the river near
town, flew into q passion and struck
his horse over the head with his gun,
which went off at that moment, dis
charging tho cntiro load of shot into
the riders bowels.
The best shspe for fruit trees, &C.
cording to tho opinion Of recent con-
vention OF German pomologists, is the
pyramidal. This form is preferred on
the ground that j, gives the minimum
OF shade, greatest length, production
OF better fruit, and tower disadvanta-
ges from storms, weight Of snow, and
excess of fruit.
"A Montana paper thinks there is
an awful fuss being made over the
Beecbcr trial. "Why," il says, "right
out here is Bill Casey. He went into
family, married one girl, spoiled
mother, and has run away with the
third and yet there 10 no trial, no
statements, no nothing, only just the
old man with rife, looking around