The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1875-08-26
An InuaIid Organization,
an THAT HAYES BEEN DONE IN II

81
an THAT HAYES BEEN DONE IN TIM
0Ntt0o " NATTER 0luUeI
The Republicans of Canton trled'to organize q
Hayes Club last Friday evening at the Opera
House of their colaboret Loushifer There were
present J, ", underhnl. Tom saxton, all the Can'
ION candidates, three tx txcandIdatea four "culud
gemmen" Bill Deweeses dog and seven good
Democrats. who wanted to see how the old thing
would work I'd, 8. Meyer was made President
pro tenn, and was ioebly called Oh for a speech
lie arose and made a few tragic remarks about
bloody chRsls and few other matierA All who
teard him thought he was trying 10 90 through
with 0thelo, playing II alone as II were, without
the representation Of supporting performers; but
to correct any such impression that may prevail,
we win state that he was only trying to make
speech When he had concluded, Tom saxton
walked over to where Underhlll was sitting and
whispered In his ear. then no walked back,
clapped his hands and began calling for Under
hill. A Colorcd man In the northwest corner
next yelled "Underhill" then Bill Deweese's dog
gave yelp under the bench, and James W, arose
hung his malAcca cane on the back Of seat, and
sent little pool Of tobacco juice up the aisle
ahead Of him az he stepped 70 place on the
aoor. Striking position, he commenced:
We are here TO organize haze club. we're
going 10 haze the Democrats As old college stu
dents haze new intruder. Thars much meaning
IN the words haze club q haze club 10 widely
different from hsystack. Applause and yelp
from Bill Deweese's dog.] But aint going To
make speech, or define fully whAr stand. Then
he went on to give the Catholic Church rub, and
TO blast the rag money and other matters that
agitate such minds a. his In these days.
A Constitution which had been previously
adopted was then passed for signatures, Several
names were signed, but there came dimcnlty In
the way. Bill DeweeSe's dog couldn't sign his
name, and they were troubled ss TO how they
should proceed, when happy thought seFuck
Tom saxtons mind; II probably struck Toms
brain first, because there was less hair to go
through than there was on any other head in the
audience, and in accordance with the sudden
idea Tom put down an X for the dog, thereby
settling another difficult point.
During the time for signatures, several walked
out, and seeing that something must be done TO
hold the few to their places, VIM. Mckinley, Jr.,
was asked to Orate. Then Major william hcKln'
ley junior, arose majesticaily, glanced about
sristocratically. puCkered his lips POLITICALLY,
struck an attitude heroically, and stood for mo.
ment as In obliviouS meditation, with his dexter
eye turned upward upon the bedaubed figure Of
half nude cherubim, that seemed to skim
along the ornate ceiling bearing glad idinga OF
Republican victory In Honolulu, while his Sin.
lister optic longingly Ncooped In the four colored
votes In the shadow Of the northwest corner, un.
der the gallery as four that were sure TO be count
ed for his side in October. Presently his clear,
convincing voice rang out In tones 30 yeloquent
that all were hushed. (hey had been hushed be-
tore) and he uttered octosyllablc, rhetorical words
in such quick succession that all his auditors, 40
one man, seemed to cape as though nothing short
of q Dickster's unabridged Webtionary would
satisfy their appetites But soon the Major closed
and as there was nothing else to be DONE three or
four OF the lead horses congratulated each other
and adjourned to meet at 0berly's under the in
vitatlon Of Ed Page and his brOther.in-law, the
Judge.
Gone 10 get some oat meal mush.