The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1875-08-25

tssf wouldn't marry the best woman ah7e
T'Ye .bsea E dry goods clerk too long 10.
that" "
A spirited W&rrcn county, Pa, yonh%
lady asserted her belief in woman r'sats
by dropping her s:har down stairs Dscanis
hedisapprored Of round dances.
"Your son died rather suddenly, ycster'
day, Of throat dissa-.,' is what an itaho
Shsriif wrote TO a toad raot:itr in lnulanA,
the other day.
"What pl,n," said one actor to another,
"shall adept to fill the house at my bene'
itr" Invite your crciitors.' was the
surly reply.
When young NJ rl is invitol TO party,
and goes skiyllishiuS aroulrt the house 20
SEQ If his girl is there, before entering
it's about time lls WIS paying litLI.
attention to the market price OF taSer
rings.
A business man il Watcrtown, N. T., is
named Tubbs, anl ever; time lie slips
d1vn, the Ntls boys begin, Every tuh
must stand ou - -, aid then 1ubos
gets up and the boys r'ul.
Quilp says TINT domestic brolis may no!
alglys H. l,vr:stc:ks, yet when he IS IL
trouble he always ."vs 20 his wife for
consolation a." s";s k. lie says that eniy
4 woman uau !.sa. .he tagged edse CT
anxiety.
"lt is beautiful to h>a,l at IL wcdling,
sgvs chac,ful old Dac!iclnr, 1.-THE Sorro"'
d stricken air OF the ptrcut as ne gives tae
bride away wh9A you Know thas :or the
past ten yrArs be ;lAs bccl. trying IS be-
to get her of Ills h.in'lS..
S.win.s-G.achiAe men all Insurance
ascI,s don't whit t. Say word iVc 50
months to the nan vino waikiki ci .ltteo
ma.s to cali for au advertised i..,.r.
snd found II wAs d p:Imtcyi .uiertis!nS car
culLr.
Old Mrs. Smi.;, Of S..n husky Ohio, lcI
her paicut ci!uI!. v.'cu lis. Si.aritJ 70 0l3-
jylss boJk u, -,@nL irUAH the door. Lac c;1l
tn Vt was tak.u out after III hoir's churNlAg
vas not is lively 10 when it julnied III.
A man in W.,omias. Ono, UPON open'' 6
his chicken mouse lcc.4tty one moinlns 8,
missed Two b;r,is; but then, Oh the o-.e
H.lud Le foual Two fingers IL the trA2.
They havn't becu called Ior.
! man diri 1T u revival meeting, aai
Chica- 70 rclvr;ct s.ys, "Hi5 ltnp Of HE WAS
burned out, the ,rlIr.l DoEl WAS broken,
the silver cord Wis I'o;"l, and the spirit
had hoxu to It's Gi.rr.' He MtaHt to
convey the i.iprc-s.oN ;nAt tae lnAn was
dead.
Louisville car-iriyers are an en- .r;at2a
Set, all from excessive b!asphsny. 1t Ii
rarely tha, Il louisville girl drops her fopt
upon the tail-Dotri of Il Dob-tall Car with
6us hitting the front wheels OF the track, an
this wears on the drivers.
"Augustus, dear" said shs. tenderly
pushing him from her as the moonlight
hooded the bay-wlndow where they wers
standing, IL think you had better try
come other kind of hair.dye; your mus.
tache tastes Ike turpentine."
4 paper IN Southern illinois regrets th,t
it went to prv,s "one day too early 10 rc.
cord the death sf John Bltes." This is
not quite as cool as The, paper which said,
"Just rs we are going 10 presa John Smith
is being run over by tho cara"
i Nevada woman Recently knocked down
seven burglars, ous alter another. Hsl
husband watched her from the top Of the
gtaips, and felt SO brinfvi Of bnttle that he
couldn't cool of until he h.d jerked his
esht-year old boy out est bed aid "wnaled'
him sourdly for noe getting up and help
ing his motner.
"M.," said all intelligent, thoughtful
boy" 81 don't think Solomon WAS SO rich
xsat 10 'n ,,S -" Wv t,,+ ;nt, :',,r no W 5,'
,.yyh,, 10 T;ila s,,s t( sI,1t wit, his
f..htu ana ,.',,! e h. ia hcnn O.
'.a .;,,, ~ ,,,,II hoJ I'd ~ Lis
A'
There's about to be u Wedding in Ger.
r"..sj % ' ;a III ~ Saa',no j1;rbmsss p,incs
E.rn,an E,,,nT. 5 .oloh frrnhard Franz
Tar[l;uo,d !,,rrSt v,, s.yn. .Wi+typn,tn;n.
unhans,o;n r.. r.,, .,,Inr ns hts mama
,..;n -. n.,,r br ~. nov, s;o,mar
A man in Sacramento read on sign {:
% S.s Ss S,.,t i, an,i i =, n -sw irv. sLsw nan
.n.st ard fancy ,u,s,, sad when he cot
throuyh he nut iJw.I !. uu,rter, remarkIrs
IN ths as,onished caterer, That's VIVA.
yonr s;ru says."
Brooklyn Lady, whose husband ha2 on
upon the plan Of .liius III her servants
when he BE-. Gins to let out mis temper, ana
then turning t. him and saying sweet.y,
nNoy. nv dear. pleAns 20 On with your re-
marks, He doscn't 20 On, a, least not as
he began.
a qWet' p92cea'Ii gentleman ~ tn!h-
delph!a mas frceA,'J @NeH ~ p"S'ae9S,
eaitHty rtt.oto' T,:' 49,. W S;,.I
ering1the man who seat hu d paving stone