The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1875-06-30
From the Detroit Free Fress.
THOSE CIRCUS BILLS.
An Aged Female Acrobat Cofuses Modest
Young Man.


She had one in her hand as she came up
stairs, and she didnl say a word until alter
she had wiped her spectacles, placed them
on her nose, unfolded the bill. aud read a
few of the headlines.
She was old fashioned in look. There
were strings to her bonnet. she had no
hustle, her gray hair was combed down
smoothly, and there were only elven yards
in her black alpaca dress.
"Young man, don't you know that cir
cuses are awful liars and humbugs 2" she
finally inquired.
The man at table leaned back in his
chair and refused to express an opinion.
'Weli,-i know, it," she continued in a
positive tone, "and believe they git wuss
every day. Now see here-listen to this !:
"A gorgeous panorama of amazing won :
ders-a gigantic combination of astonish-
ing acrobatic talent That's all right on
the poster, but hev they got EN- I'd like
to see one O. them animals"
"You're laboring under mistake, mad
am. 1t means grand display of natural
curiosities, and informs the public that the
proprietor has secured many first-class ac-
robats--the chaps who stand on their
heads, turn head over heels, and cuts up SO
many monkey-shines."
sit does, eh ?" she unused "waal. do
you believe it takes smart person to keel
over"
swell, one has to have good deal OF
training"
"They do eh?" she remarked, as she put
her umbrella in the corner and spit on her
hands; "Tll show you that you are deceiv-
ed! I'm an old woman, but if CAN'T
madam, hold on don't do it," exclaini-
ed the man behind the table. I
81 can flop right over there and never
shake my bonnet" said said, as she rose up.
~ know you can, madam, but don't.
l am here alone, and II don't want you
to. I'd rather you wouldn't. If you are
determined on it, l shall leave the room !"
"Well, you know can do it, and that 8
enough. You may be right about what
that means, but see here-hear this "The
highways ablaze with respondent chariots
the grandest pageant on earth. I've
been to lots of circuses, young man, and !
neversaw pageant yet. If they had one
the door OF his cage wasn't OPEN"
''You are also in error there. The bill
refers to the fact that the great number of
wagons, charlots, etc., make up a sight
worth seeing as they pass along the street.
the bill over; 81 don't see why they
couldn't haYe said so then. And now see
here--read that: Sig. Govinoff.' He Is
the man who jumps off rope, turns over
twice, and comes down all right"
HE is, eh ? Well, If he's got an idea
that he's the smartest man alive want to
disappoint him. / never did try to turn
over twice, but I'll do 1t right here and
now or break my neck. Git the things Off q
that table !"
"Stay, madam-dont. | wouldn't have
you do 1t for fifty dollars"
"Just once"
''For heavens sake, madam, get down
offi'n this Observation-Disclosures dollar II
you won't do it,"
81 don't want your money, and won't
try 1t your 80 scarf, but don't want no
circus going around talking about argyll
flights and deceiving the people !"
She sat down, the young man wiped the
sweat off his brow, and presently she re-
marked:
And here's another thing right here:
"A sparkling asterisk, flashing across the
field of the cloth of gold-Mons. Gomeri-
que in his great delineatons of human
character I'd like to know who she is Z?
:. Madam, that's mana man who de-
lineates character"
SLOW ?"
'Why, he makes up faces--expresses
mirth sorrow, joy, and so forth"
"He does, eh ? Well, what's that to
blow about? Make up faces-see here!"
And she shut her eyes, ran her tongue
out, and looked like the bottom of a brass
kettle which had been kicked in by mule.
They are humbugs, sir !" she said as
she drew her tongue in, ''and dye 'spose
ia pay fifty cents to 60 to one ?"
They are quite entertaining as q general
thing ..a .....
"rhey are, eh? Entertaining, ehP Well
II l cant do more entertaining in five
minutes than circus can do all day IN
leave my bonnet up here Here, hold or
to this chair"
MADAM, ! earnestly hope you are no,
going to perform any tricks"
81 haln't, Ell? You just hold on to Tho
legs of this chair"
II can't madam wouldn't do 1t for al
the diamond pins in Syracuse Go away
madam-go home! I'm in an awfu
hurry !"
swell, l won't then, but when say cir
cuses are humbugs can prove it. dom
keer two cent for their big words and theil
panoplies, pageants, asterisks, giraffes
aryals, georgouses and ourapg-outangs-
can beat EN- all holler myself p
"And she took of her spectacles, liftet
her umbrella, and went down stairs.
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