The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1875-02-18
HE THOUGHT 1T WAS A BURGLAR.

HE THOUGHT 1T WAS BURGLAR.
1t was cad mistake. very sad, and |
1t is safe to conclude that it will never !
occur again in the same family. 1t
all happened in this way: A young
man living with bis parents in the
Second ward was rs full of love as a |
hotel biscuit Of soda, but love has lost
solved to play lone hand in the !
game of life. He went home Cd last |
Saturday night brim full of that sweet |
contentment known only by those |
who get spooney on girl, and receive |
encouragement TO get spoonier; it
boiled over in him as he sat before the |
stove warming his feet, and he picked |
up the cat, hugged it to his breast,
called it pussy and patted
1t gently; it was evident something
was wrong, for previously he had
never approached that cat in that way
he had always tackled it with the
toe of his boot and yelled !'scat, you
sucker" Presently he went up stairs
to bed. and soon fell asleep; his mind
wandered in 6 imaginings of Nor
pheus" through gildod halls, decked
with sweetest scented flowers, with
polished marble floors and beautifully
carved and richly cushioned furni-
tare; in fact, he dwelt in a gorgeous
palace, around him were titled serv-
ants who bowed low to his royal re-
cognition and fastened TO obey his
slightest gesture; upon his head he
wore a golden crown, which glittered
with thousand purest diamonds, any
one of which would have made the
i" Koh-i-noor" or "Pitt" look dim,
and caused Khedive to grosn with
envy! Then there was a Queen, too,
Of most royal beauty, who loved but
him, and looked up to his countenance
as daisy looks up to the sun! All
this, and more, happened in a seven
-by-nine room, with no paper on the
walls, broken windows stuffed with
old pants, and shabby rag carpet on
the floor! After time the young
man slipped softly out of bed, put on
his clothes, and like ghost stole
silently through the darkness; he was
walking in his sleep, somsthing he
had not done in years before! lie
passed down the stairway, glided
through tho hall, and entered the
sitting room, where he continued to
roam quietly about in vague uncon-
sciousness. His parents slept in the
next room, and his father soon awak-
ing heard his tread on the floor, and
waking his wife, whispered softly:
Liz, there's buggler cavortin'
around in that next room. Now, jist
you don't scream like blasted fool,
an I'll shoot seven kinds Of language
out o. him in a minute"
Then the old man arose, crawled on
his hand aud knees over a cold oil
cloth to bureau, and got an old re-
volver which hadn't been used for
he stole cautiously to the doorway;
the sleeper was still sailing about, the
room was dark and he couldn't be
seen ; the governor listened, and judg-
ing by the sound, he aimed his old |
blunderbuss and pulled the trigger.
but the thing wouldn't go off; he
tried three times more, and the more
he tried to shoot the more nervous he
grew. 1t was no use, the old thing
wouldn't work then he heard the
burglar moving toward him, and he
clutched the barrel of the revolver
with the intention of beating the fell
lows brains out. AS the thief came
nearer the old man whispered to him
self:
"Oh Lord, forgive me! I've been q
ole sinner, but I'll never do
i again; feel like a. if my time was
about here. Oh Lord, jist gimme a
chance. an FL be as square all angel
Is any of 'em. Cuss this shooter, if
'he'd only go OFF,
The supposed thief was then only
bout four feet away, and he yelled
,ut:
"Keep Off! git out! if We come six
inches clusser III shoot the livers out
If yc."
But the thief did come closer. and
II minute they clinched and went
olling over the floor, gougiug, pull
ng hair, punching each other, and
'utting over chairs with their heads,
While the crazy wife was doubled up
Inder the bed in the other room,
Telling as loud as she could:
Murder! Fire! Help! Murder! !.
)h, spare my husband: spare him, ,
,ood Mister Burglar, he's the only
ne I've got! Oh, spare him; he's ..
nly poor old man.
But they didn't hear her; the boy
vas thoroughly awake now, and as he
ound himself rolling over a floor
'unching and getting punched, he ,
hought he was iu dead lock with a t
Midnight burglar, and gripped tighter, 9
but the chances were about even, :
nd there is no telling what might
ave happened if the boy hadn't cried e
ut; but the old man knew his voice,
nd there was mutual letting up.
rhen the old man struck light, and :
Vith lock of his boys hair between :
is teeth he entered the bedroom and a
ulled his half frantic wife ont by the 5
ar; pointing to the somnambulist he ii
aid: /
Liz, it's all that id boy; he's &
Ot 'em agin; cuss the luck, why il
idn't you.holler? did hurt ye nue. s