The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1875-05-06
SHEAR NONSENSE.
Something about dogs -feas.

You cannot spell WTlte right-
Spnng is on hand. Lettuce have peas.
Ida Clare is married. declare who TOT
Improving ores time-mending thu clock. /
Men who never do wrong seldom do any !
thing.
It taxes q pretty smart man to tell when he !
is happy.
How 10 get plenty OF room in street-ear
eat onions.
New Bedford has but one whAler left-a
sehOol-m&ster.
Order is heavens first law, and it has never
been repealed.
baby at night.
To make E tall man shortly 70 borrow
five dollars of him.
If you are out in q driving storm, don't at
tempt to hold the rams.
When q man can't find anything to do, he
has lived long enough.
Why is the sun like good Loaf Because
| it's light when it rises.
Question for actors-can an actor be said
| to work when be playsl
| In what ship has the greatest number Of
| people been wreekedi CourtshiP.
The saddest words oftongue or pen: "Pve
I got no stamps-cal in again.
Bashfulness is often like the plating on
| BpOO0S-Wueu II SHOWS the DEdsss
A late marriage in London was between
Mr.. Pickle and Miss Onion. One more
Onion picked.
"Heres another doughmestie difficulty"
said Brooklyn woman as she found her
bread heavy.
At the spelling school in Indianapolis all
the lawyers, editors, elergymen and teachers
went down on 'iPecacuanha."
Says Kentucky exchange: Fortunately
for the victim the bullet struck him IN the
forehead and glanced off," Hard, that.
At what time did Satan make his appear
ance in the garden of Edenl Some time in
the night. He certainly came after Eve.
"Sekrets,' says Billings, sis bad invest
ment-if you pass il you loZe the principal;
and if you keep it you loze the interest"
Several acts of the last Legislature are
declared unconstitutional because they have
not the constitutional caption" to them.
, Talk about the poetry Of motion and syIph-
= like grace. but did you ever stand by and zee
q woman use q one-tined fork to flop stove
cover offP'
When q Detroiter was asked the other day
by q traveller if he had ever been in Brooklyn
. he hastened to reply: do look like one o.
that sort Of men, slrf'
A colored, boy fourteen years old, has mys-
teriously disappeared from Atlanta. We
have always thought that Atlanta is q good
place to disappear from.
why do you use paintI'' asked violinist
OF his daughter. "FoT the same reason thai
! you use rosin, papa" "How is thatl' "Why
! TO help me draw my beau"
An exchange intelligently observes thA'
''the American female has great deal tC
make her what she is,n She always appear
to have 9 great deal to make her what she
isn't.
, A bride in Indiana, after the conclusion o
/ the marriage ceremony. stepped gracefully
, forward and requested the clergyman to g "
out the hymn; This is the way long hav,
sought
John, John, wake up, there's burrler il
the house" said the wife. John sat uPrigh
in bed. "BurgleT- -b-u-r-g-l e-r-bIrgler-'
and he rolled over, waitiag for q hArde
word.
A lady at Memphis says she doesn't wan
any jewelry, hasn't 3 loOking-glass in tn
house, and wouldn't take silk dress as
gift. Memphis has another living curiosity
"A cross-eyed cat.
: a St. Louis sergeant Of police froze to deatl
& few nights ago while makingshis rounds
This is another awful commentary on tn
foolish custom of closing saloons at IL O'Clock
Milwaukee NsarS.
An Ohio youth is to be hanged next Marcel
for killing a small boy to obtain possession
eipls of the thing, not the sugar, which inhu-
enced the jury.
Julius, why didn't you oblOng your staI
| at the Springsr' "Kase, Mr.. Snow, dey
charge too much" allow so, Juliusl" "WhY
de landlord charged dis individual wild steal
: ing de spoons
"Don't call OH me for three days" is whaI
an Ashland girl posted on the front gate and
she further added:
"Tm going to eat some onions this week il
| I never have another beau"
'sWiIl the boy who threw that pepper OF
the stove please come up here and get pres
ent of a nice book" Said q Sunday-schoo
superintendent in Iowa, but the boy never
moved. He WAS far seeing boy.
An exchange says that ''no Russian evel
talks about the weather. Then ifthey have
! no Beacher-Tilton scandal, and no Congress
= made up principally of Ting-thieves anC
idiots, what the dickens do thew talk about
I The members of brass bands seem to be al
= ways ready to take q horn together. but still
they are very discordant. They Tareley NEE
without coming TO blows; and yet they seen
to enjoy playing together as well as ittli
children.
A man in Greenyille the other morning
: hailed q fellow laboreT with, $50 ye've got
, baby at yer house, whAti itl 8 boy or gyurl.'
s'G1ess!'' IAN it's q boy" "No." 'sWel
) then it's gyurl.n "Fsith," said TIE deligh
, ted father, somebody's been tellin, ye."
: Two Irishmen ona certain occasion occupied
, the same chamber. In the morning one o
them inquired of the other, dennis, did y,
) hear the thunder in the night" "Ho, Pat
did il really thunder?' 'Yes: it Numbered q
/ if hiyen and earth would come together
for ye know l can't slape when it thundersP