The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1875-04-22

Come into the garden mad.
March went out like lanb-cead

er in the known world.
Query: II they we're 70 pass 3
prohibitory law in Illinois, eoafd Bsv.
eridge continue to be the Govesnorf
"The buds are swelling." And
the s'swells" are budding. The lat
ter should leave FIRST, but they don't
When hog roots in snow bank
lis nose knows SHOWS.
Albany boys write Sunday Schsol
essays on "the late Mr.. Jonah, who
was swallowed BY whale in three
days"
4 During the recent food in the
Tennessee river, Q corn6eld, with .
man working in it, drified down for .
considerable distance.
/ Philadelphia brags Of having the
most cleanly servant girls. They al-
ways hire out with the understand.
ing that the mistress is to do the dir.
ty work.
"Are women persons?' is . ques-
tion now under discussion in Massa-
chusetts. The Womdas Journal
claims they are. The Boston Pilot
SAYS no.
A young man writing TO young
lady whom he had never seen, asked:
"Are your ewes dark or azure?" And
she replied. "Azure fancy is, azure
you"
Kiss shots in billiards are nov call
ed ''Brooklyn caroms." Some men
who indulge in them, are, however,
beaten at their own game.
Susan B. Anthony, wants to end
the author Of the story which placed
her IN an improper attitude towards
Theodore, and proposes to be moth.
er in. law to him in all that the name
implies.
The Milwaukee Sentinel tries TO
start fresh panic by asserting that
s'four or Eve children at . single
birth are becoming 20 common that
single seated baby-carriages are .
drug in the market"
1t is quite true no man was ever
born TO reform the whole world. In
most cases it is as much - the world
can do TO reform the man.
Boston 10 agitated over the spell.
ing school business, and several pro-
fessors having been spelled down, It
is believed that Boston dictionary
is unavoidable.
"Girls," observes and experienced
Brooklyn matron, remember that
those men make the best husbands
who can swallow dozen hairs to an
ounce Of butter, without knowing
| it."
A lady's gold and jet bracelet,
found on the streets, some weeks
since, is still in our possession, un-
claimed. Unless called for soon, it
will be donated to the Kansas suffers,
who have been out OF bracelets Tor
some weeks.
Those who would appreciate the
poetry of curvlinear motion should
see the beautiful lines described
through the empyrean by = hungry
Wisconsin wolf, just after he has
misguidcdly picked up . chunk Of
bait fastened to trap, on tho end Of
bent sapling.
The late Judge Church vas once
requested by some lawyers to bold
court on Good Friday, in order that
they might finish the business they
! had I'm uh.-.s~- H -As.l;Ad. 81 fh:~-l
not. The only Judge ever heard
of who held court on Good Friday
was Pontius Plate"
"Why didn't you come over to
our house last night?" shouted one
eighteen inch boy to another from .
back yard. "'Csuse I'm mad with
your brother" is the response. ''Oh,
just come right over. now. I'll make
that all right" "All right" says the
back yard boy, Il don't want any
irregularities, you know"
Max Adeler says: IA coroner of
ours seized an Egyptian mummy that
was brought into town, summoned =
jury, held an inquest on the mummy,
brought in a verdict Of death from
cause unknown and charged the
county with the usual fee, with com,
pound interest from the time of No.
ses."
A new town in this state has been
christened Bad Ak, and vile ex-
change adze to the notoriety of the
burg by remarking that it must he
helve place. Houghton Gazette.
Anybody can see the edge of thst
joke, but it required no ordinary in
tellect to hatch it. A town by that
name ought to hew its way to dis
tinction. Green Bay Advocate.
Little Johnny, writing . compost
tion about pigs, says: Them at fairs
are sometimes SO fat that you cant
tell which end it is that eats till you
see basin Of Cruel near by, and
then it swings around and points At
II like compass. Some men spends
lot Of time curlin' their pigs tales,
which is no use except to eat, aud is
best roasted, though the trotter is
good too!
Last season P. was attacked with
the cholera, and his friends gave him
up as lost case. As he lay there,
apparently upon his death, the doc.
tor asked him if the medicines be
had taken had in any manner Affect
ed his teeth. 81 don't know" faint.
ly whispered p, "but you can see;
they are in the top drawer of the
bureau. Mrs. P, will hand them to
you"
Some men can 80 do such . disa.
greeable thing in such . way ~ to
remove half the sting. Thus George
Smith who worked by night in .
Troy car shop, when called upon to
clope with the wife Of his friend An
derson, first made arrangements with
his employer that Anderson should
be promoted to the position he va
Gated. The contract was fulfilled al
around, and Anderson, with his in