The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1875-03-02
elrxrJAMrN r. auNN.


Mar Adeler has the following in the
Di No RE insurance agent, Bepjamin P.
Gnnn. TO whom have alluded at length
IN hook. is still around, and he Is still
canyassing actively for his company. A
day or two ago he dropped in to persuade
Mr.. Pitman to take out policy, and the
following conversation ensued:
Gunn-I called
Pitman--O GET OUT don't want to
be bored about life insurance. TO-
Gunn-I just dropped In to see il
Pitman-I know you did, and don't
want any. You cant insure me,
Gum If you will permit me merely TO
Pitman-But won't permit you. Skip !
This is the sixteenth time you've tackled
me, and I'm sick of it. / amt a-going to,
insure my life. That's settled. -
Gurn-You misunderstood me, Judge.
/ called to ascertain it you are member
Of the Peace Society. N4I EEfy aESI
Pitman-I am.
Gunn-I thought so. And, of course,
you are willing to help along any scheme
which viii put an end to war and murder.
Pitman-C Certainly. - e---
Gunn-Well, then, just listen to me.
am acting in behalf OF your Society. !
have on hand a magnificent plan for pro-
ducing permanent, peace on earth and
making armies useless. Why did Cain
kill Abel2 co. -",a.-.s-.--.'l
Pltman--l dunno. q o0Af0 1907
Gunn-Because he had no particular
interest in keeping him alive. That's the
reason. Why did David bang Goliah
why did the Romans butcher the Carths-
genians; why did old what s. his name
burn Ridley and Latimer at the stake
Pituam-- Hanged if know. g.. &
Gum Why, because it wasn't money
in the pockets Of any Of those fellows to
have the other chaps walking around en-
Toying life. Do you suppose Brutus would
a stabbed Caesar if Caesars death would
kept Brutus hard up for market money
Not much he wouldn't. Do you believe
Wise would hung old John Brown il
Johns death would sforced Wise to Dor
row money to buy boots2
Pitman-May be he wouldn't.
.Gunn-WelL- then, look here. Sup
pose you was policy holder in mutua
life-insurance company, wouldn't it reduce
your dividends if you was to kill anothe
member, and wouldn't you do your terrifi
best TO- keep that member alive?
Pitman--Strikes me would.
Gunn41Of course. Now, what / an
aiming at Is to gather the entire ciyiize'
earth-the whole human family into on
company, SOS that ell hands. will be pei
fectly wild to keep everybody else alive
When this is done, you can beat you
swords into spears, and your plowshare
into pruning hooks, for there'll be no mor
war don't you see? I'm not working .fe
paltry commission or two. 1t is labo
of love. I'm trying to elevate the rae
and promote christian civilization: f
Pitman-It never struck me that wa!
Gunn-Anyhow, it's so. And l as
you, as q member OF the peace society,
enroll your name among those who q
carrying on this great work. Terms
low as any other company, and dividen
payable semi-annually. Unborn gener
lions will rise up and call you blesse
We make our polices payable at any az
or we'll put you in the Tontine and YOU
dry the widows tears and hushthe cry
the orphan. Go in for a $1,000 poll,
and | assure you that the glad hossann
of the white robe angel OF peace once NC
will resound from the starry vaults,
Heaven, and over the smiling earth 4
songs of love will still the clangor of q
warehouse and the boom of the cauno
and man once more will know the felic
OF paradise Your grandmother died
liver complaint, / believe2 Lemm' me 8
how old are your CMggU3 &1Et
Pitman-Tm A in February, Put 1
down for $4,000, payable at 60 ye
Of age. Call in the morning with the
pers, and Ill sign 'em.
Gunn-Good day. I'm of. I've
an engagement with Cooley at II. and !
anxious 10 keepit I've haunted him'i
two years now, and he has succumbed.