Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1875-06-16
MARK TWAIN ON SPELLING.

There was spelling match at the Asylum
Hill Congregational Church, Hartford, Conn.,,
on Wednesday evening, and Samuel L. Glenn
ems Mark Twain) being called ou for few
preliminary remarks, spoke as follows:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN Il have been
honored with the Office of introducing these
approaching photographed solemnities with
few remarks. The temperance crusade swept
the land some time ago, that is, the vast por-
skipped Hartford. Now comes this new spell.
So I suppose We needed the afHiction. I don't
say We needed it, for don't see any use in
spelling word right, and never did. | mean
l don't see any use in having uniform and
arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as
we'll make all clothes alike and cook all dishes
alike Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleas
ing. | have correspondent whose letters are
ways retreshment to me; there is such
breezy, uutettered originality about his orthog
rapby. He always spells Kow with large
K Now, that is just as good as to spell it
With a small one. 1t is better. 1t gives the
imagination broader field, a wider scope. 1t
suggests to the mind grand, vague, impress
sive new kind of COW. Superb effects eau be
produced by variegated spelling. Now, there
is Blind Tom, the musical prodigy, He always
spells word according to the sound that is
carried to his ear. Aud he is an eDthu-
siast 10 orthograpby. When you give him
s word he shouts 1t outputs all his soul
into it. I once heard him called upon to
spell oraug-outrang before an audience He
said, 20, rang, orang, ger, ger. Granger
tang, tang, granger tang!' Now q body
can respect an oraogoutrang that spells his
name in vigorous way like that. But the
feeble dictionary makes mere kitten of him.
In the old times people spelled just as they
pleased. That was the right idea. You had
two chances at a stanger then. You knew a
strong man from week one by his iron-clad
spelling, and his hand writing helped him to
verify your verdict. Some people have an idea
that correct spelling can be taught--and fought
to anybody. That is mistake. The spelling
art. 1t is gift; it is a talent. People who
have this gift in high degree only need to see
a word once 10 print and it is forever photo
graphed upon their memory. They caunot
forget it. People who haven't it must be con.
tent to spell more or les like--like thunder
and expect to splinter the dictionary wherever
their photographed lightning happens to strike.
There are ll4,O0O words in the unabridged
dictionary. | know lady who can spell only
$50 of them right. She stears clear of all the
rest She cant learn any more. So her let
ters always consist OF those constantly recurring
$50 words. Now and then, when she finds her
self obliged to write upon subject which ne
cessitates the use of some other words, she
we'll, she don't write on that subject | havo
relative in New York who is almost sublime
ly gifted. She cant spell any word right There
is game called Vcrbarium. A dozeo people
are each provided with sheet of paper, across
the top Of which is written long word like
kaleidoscopical, or something like that, and the
game is to see who can make up the most words
out of that 10 three minutes, always beginning
with the initial letter of the word. Upon one
occasion the word chosen was cotferdaw. When
time was called everybody had built from five
to twenty words except this young lady. She
only had ono word-calf We all studied mo
ment and then said. why, there is no J in
cofferdam r. Then we examined her paper.
TO the eternal honor OF that unipspired, uncon-
scious sublimely independent soul be it said,
she had spelled that word 'caff !" If anybody
here can spell calf any more sensibly than that,
let him step to the front and take bis milk. The
insurrection will now begin.