Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-10-20

wards. '7s@+&24i%' y
A man rushed brcathIessly into a
lawyers Office in St. Paul, and. APP
preaching the legal luminary, excited
ly remarked: "a man has tied hoop
to my horses tail. Can / do any
thing?" EYES," replied the attorney !;
ego and unite it." This was good ad-
vice, and only cost the man SO Far.
miagton Press
An Erie Canal boat Captain. who
had been reading of Moody and San
key, determined to live better lite,
and calling his crow around him he
said "See here, you lying, sknlking,
wicked, disgraceful set, you've got to
tend prayers every morning or I'll
lick the whole pile of you in heap"
Equestrian precocity is enconr-
aged in Kansas. At the I.eavcnworth
County Fair, the premium of saddle
and bride WAS bestowed upon "the
best boy rider under Z years Of age"
Tho young Alexander thus bestriding
the Kansas Encephalus will grow to
be centaur in time, without the use
Of liniment.
brigham Young Gays that wo.
man who can't make a dress out of
eleven yards of cloth will find Heay-
ems gate too narrow for her to enter.
However, Detroit women will use
from eighteen to twenty-eight yards
and run the risk of squeezing through
the gate or of finding ladder to 20
over the walls.-Det,'oH Free Press.
Near Massilon, O., yesterday,
Frank Scrader was out with his father
and younger brother gathering hick-
DRY nuts. Frank went up a treo, and.
when abont fifty feet high, fell to the
ground, breaking his neck, back and
both lega, and disfiguring his face,
killing him instantly. He was II years
old.
1t will be hardly necessary to tell
the name of the facetious party who
went into dry goods store tho other
day, and was observed to be looking
about, when the proprietor remarked
to him that they didn't keep whiskcy.
at would save you good many steps
If yon did," was tho quick reply.
"A conductor on tho Chicago and
Northwestern railroad recently kissed
one Of his lady passengers, Miss
McCracken. She resented his action
and instituted suit against the rail-
road for damages on the ground that
she was kissed by the whole company
through the conductor, as agent. An
Illinois Jury awarded her 81 600 which
in $50 33 from each director, or ten
cents from each stakeholder. Cheap
enough!
The Springfield Republican tells a
new story OF George Washington.
About two years before Washington's
death, one evening, he was sitting on
the verandah of his residence at Mount
Vernon, talking with a Colonel Per-
kins, when 4 toad hoped upon the
path before them. Thereupon Wash.
ington asked Perkins il he had ever
seen toad swallow FREELY. Per-
kins hadn't. Washington said he had,
and that he had seen the light of the
fire-fly through the toad's skin after
the fly was swallowed. This is good
story. but it should be remembered
that Washington told it when the Re-
public was at peace, and after he had
buried the h8tchct.
Lotteries and Fools
Alexandria, Va. is the last scene of
one of those villainous schemes that
take a mans money without giving
him anything for it. Investigation
shows that the drawing Of the Mont
pelier Female Humane Association
lottery was hugo hoax. Tho man
ayers were from New York, and of
the half million dollars received from
tickets, all but few thousand were
absorbed by shsrpers. Not dollar
was drawn by bona Gde ticket-hold.
or. This is u fair specimen of all these
swindles. And yet every loudly ad-
vertised game of this sort finds its
dupes all over the land Poor fools
invest their last dollar with the hope
Of winning a big bonan2a. AS long
40 men do not believe in Horace
Greeley's theory that tho only way to
get money 10 to honestly earn it, they
must not complain when they are
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