The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1875-01-16
Laughing Gas.

Laughing Gas.
Domestic "sauce" is kept in family
jars. .. s,r
A friend indeed is one who is not
in need.
Better run in old clothes than run
in debt. - -
A,man sticks at nothing when he
tries to stab ghost. ,.s
Speaking of the round world, much
can he said on both sides.
People who dance never pay the
fiddler. 1t is those who get UP the
ball. 3.v -.
Now is good time to buy ther-
mometers. They are lower now than
they have been since last spring. ,
A Wisconsin man recently killed
six skunks in one day. After inter
viewing the first one he became reck-
less and so kept on.
When an old barn, and a pig-sty
burned at Ashtabula, Ohio, the other
day, lit heavens were made to
quiver above the leaping, roaring
fames."
An Iowa man has invented a ten
barreled shot gun, and the face of the
small boy who didn't know it was
loaded is fairly radiant with hideous
leer Of satisfaction.
Oats may be good to soak the damp
ness out Of wet boots, but how. many
St Louis men can afford to keep thirty
bushels of oats on hand for that pur-
pose.-Free Press. .-.
A Cairo man warns people not to
trust his wife, and she retorts by say
ing that he'll go without clothes all
summer before she'll take in washing
to rig him out again. 5'= as.
The Duluth woman who kept the
kerosene can on the stove hearth
while she went out to trade with g,
peddler, is now keeping house in a
barn, kindly loaned for the occasion.
1t is generally believed in some of
the counties Of Michigan that men
will do more plotting and planning to
rob a hen-coop, than would be neces-f
sary to insure Il successful bank bur-
glary.
When a Peoria youth goes to spark
Il girl he finds the old lady in one cor
ner of the room, the old man in an
other, and dog under the melodeon,
and he is required to speak up like an
orator.
"I can't say as he went to Heaven"
remarked Fort Scott citizen of a de-
ceased townsman, "but he paid bill
Of eleven years. standing only the day
before he died, and you can judge for
yourself" ~
A Milwaukee man hid in a public
doorway and jumped out and kissed
his wife. She didn't whoop and yell,
as he expected, but replied: 'Don't
be SO bold, mister-folks around here
know me!'
A clergyman at Kansas City said if
there was any one within hearing of
his voice who would try to put a stop
to Sunday dog fighting he'd like to-
nave cIu IlSo Ap. "A olu6tlA UOJ duu
an old woman rose up.
Aver, the pillman, who was de-
feated for Congress the other day,
manufactures all excellent expectO-
rant, but Aver don't expect to rant in
the Forty fourth Congress.-COl,tns
bus Miss. J Democrat. ii.''4'
Benjamin Franklin occasionally
stumbled upon the truth. He said ::
"The eyes of other people are the
ewes that ruin us. Il all but myself
were blind, should neither want, a.
fine house nor fine furniture"
Texas would have been q splendid
place for Micawber. When he sat
down, waiting for something to turn
up, the playful nibble of q taraptula
would have turned up what he sat
down on in very lively manner.
New York boardcrs object to the
pudding being mixed in coal-scuttle,
ON the ground that in these hard times
the waste of fuel consequent upon the
pieces being cooked with the pudding.
is fragrant neglect of the poor. -
A Chicago boy of ten says that when
his parents get into fight, and his
mother calls for fatiron and his
father yells for the stove handle. he
is placed in most embarrassing posi-
tion, as he is sure to get licked, no
matter who he minds.-Deh0u Press.
At this period of the year, a voice
steals at early morn through the key
hole of domestic chambers: Mary
Jane, get up and fix the fire;'' and a
prompt and cheerful echo responds,
g III see you dodrotted first, and then
I won't, yon old brute" Such are the
celestial harmonies of domestic life.
A Sacramento lawyer remarked to
the court; cit is my candid opinion,
Judge, you are an old fool" The
Judge allowed his mildly -beaming 6
eye to fall upon the LAWYER a brief
moment, then in voice husky with
suppressed emotion said: It's my
candid Opinion that YOU are fined