New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-09-05
How Jones Col BnrreIed Up.

Mr.. Jones sat down on an empty barrel
| standing in front of a liquor store on
| Michigan avenue, and remarked that it was
| cheaper to lose two dollars worth of time
| waiting for The car that to foot it nine
| blocks. Mr.. Jones is long and lean, and
| doesn't weigh over 1G0 pounds. The barrel
| ought to have held up just two like him, but
| as he wriggled around to secure an easy
| position the head fell in. Mr.. Jones fell in
after the head. Il wasn't the best he could
| do, but no time was given him to plan and
| ponder. The first thing be knew, alter the
| crash, was finding his feet and ankles over
one side, and his shoulders and head wedged
| against the opposite. His head was bent
forward until bis neck was nearly broken,
his legs seemed to have been driven up, and
he was right where the boys wanted him.
He yelled out in smothered tones, and an
aged lady who keeps an intelligence office
! near the scene of the accident looked down
from her window, and called out:
"Buh, We don't walt any such footing
around herer'
"Bub be bowed Lemme out Help
help - hoarsely replied Mr., Jones.
ION young man, you are on your way to
the gallows ~ said the aged lady, and she
drew back from the window and sighed
Few people walk the streets at noon, and
Mr.. Jones yelled out many times before the
grocer came out. He saw the feet sticking
up. and he gave those rap with a potato
smasher, and exclaimed
"lou loys deserve killing -
'l'm dying in bere--help me ont " reared
Jones.
IN die you, you oldvsgrant!' replied
the grocer, seeing that the feet belonged to
a man, and he gave the barrel kick.
-Four or five boys came around the corner.
and when they discovered what was up,
one of them recognized Mr.. Jones' voice.
Looking into the barrel: be asked:
Ia hat NJ L.
"Yes-yesn' gasped Jones
''Are you doing well down there, Mr..
Jones?'
"Oh! Heavens-lemme up" cried the
prisoner.
Aren't you easy in your mind, MIR.
jones' inquired another boy.
Il tell you | am dying,'i shouted Jones,
as he tried to struggle around.
Il believe you are liar, replied the gro
Ger, as he gave the barrel a shake.
When he was convinced that the man in
the barrel was not vagrant or beggar,
he set about helping him out. He tried to
lift him up, but Jones yelled for mercy,
and the boys put in their talk and decided
that the barrel should be tipped over. This
was done, and while the grocer went after
the Ratchet to knock the hoop off, the boys
rolled Mr.. Jones up and down the walk "to
cool him off,
DO you feel better now, Mr.. Jones Pin
Guired one.
Have you cramps in the stomach, Mr..
Jones ~ asked a second.
'Doyo really and truly want to get out
Of that palace car, Mr.. Jones p asked
third.
And Jones growled and took ON and tried
to kick, and as the bcys rolled him along
he was heard making solemn VOW that he
would kill every boy in Detroit if he ever
got out of the barrel. The grocer finally
v-1ft !, 10 hata hat l,a
at the hoops he said it was pity to 20 and
destroy nice barrel like that in order to
save one human life.
The slaves finally fell in and fell out, and
Jones gave yell and scrambled up.
"Ah! he's the man to play circus tricks!'
exclaimed one of the boys.
"l on bet, he's the boss performer" yelled
another.
Mr.. Jones clawed around and tried to get
Them and as he limped away the aged lady
in the intelligence Office looked out of the
window, and said:
If that man doesn't go around robbing
clothes lines, then I'm no Judge of human
naturen-Detrou Free Press.