The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1875-05-07
Mr.. Cofn's Spelling Match.
THE OLD LADY PUTS HIM DOWN WITH ONE
OF HER spELLs-STRIKING EFFECTS.


The other evening old Mr.. and Mrs.
Coffin, who live on Brush street, sat in
their cosy back parlor, he reading the pa>
per and she knitting, and the family cat
stretched out under the stove, and sighed
and felt sorry for cats not so we'll fixed. 1t
was happy, contented household, and
there was love in his heart as Mr.. Coffin
put down his ne wspaper and remarked:
81 see that the whole country is becom-
ing excited about spelling schools"
''Well, it's good to know how to spell, -
replied tho wife. 81 didn't have the
chance some girls had, but l pride myself
that can spell almost any word that comes
along.''
''Ill see about that" he laughed
''come, now, spell buggy"
''Humph that's nothing-b-u-e-g-y,
buggy" she replied.
"Missed the first time-ha. ha r' he
roared, slappius his leg.
''Not much that was right
''It was, eh? Well, I'd like to see any
body get two g's in buggy, would"
''But it is spelled with two g's, and any
schoolboy will tell you SO" she persisted
''Well, l know a durn sight better than
that.' he exclaimed, striking the table
with his fist.
81 don't care what you know ~ she
squeaked 81 know that there are two g's
i'll buggy ~
''Do you mean to tell me that I've for
Ootrap bou tr c,1olI l,o ocl-al
sit looks that way
SIT does, ell Well, / want you and all
your relatious TO understand that | know
more about spelling than the whole ca
Doodle of you strung on a wire -
And | want you TO understand, Jona-
than Coffin, that you are an ignorant old
biockhead, when you don't put two g's in
the word buggy-yes you are -
''Dont t talk that way to mer' he warned.
"And don't shake your fist at me ~ she
replied.
''Who's a-shaking his fist ?''
''You were ~
That's a lie--an Internal lie -
Don't call me liar, you old bazaar
I've put up with your rneanness for forty
years past, but don't call me a liar, and
don't lay hard on me ~
'.Dc you want divorce % he shouted,
springing up; ''you can go now, this min
ute -
''Dou't spit in my face-don't you dare
do it or III make dead man of you ~ she
warned.
81 haven't spit in your freckled old Wis
age yet, but l may if you provoke me
further -
''Who's got a freckied face, you old
turkey buzzard 20
That was little too much He made a
motion as if lie would strike, and she
seized him by the neck tie. Then he
reached out and grabbed her right ear and
tried to lift her off her feet but she twisted
upon the neck tie until his tongue ran out
''Let go of me, you old fiend ~ she
screamed.
''Git down on yer knees and beg my
paidcn, you old wild ca. - he replied
They surged ard swayed and struggled,
and the peaceful cat was struck by the
overturning table and had her back broken,
while the clock fell down, and the pictures
danced around. Tho woman finally shut
her husbands supply of air off and Topped
him, and as she bumped his head up and
down on the floor and scattered his gray
hairs she shouted
"fou want to get up another spelling
school with me, don't you?''
He was seen limping around the yard
yesterday, stocking pinned around his
throat, and she had court plaster on her
nose, and one finger tied up. He wore the
look of martyr, while she had the bearing
OF victor, and from this time out buggy
will be spelled with two g's in that house.
Detroit Free Press