Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1875-02-25

The LITTLE GIRL.-The jovial captain of
one of the steamships now in port, tells a good
story relative to May and December marriages,
so common in Brazil.
A Brazilian gentleman, apparently over
fifty years of age, was passenger on his YES
sci. He was accompanied by two girls, one
about fifteen, and another younger.
The gentleman was sea sick in the cabin,
and the girls were on deck, whereupon the
captain endeavored to amuse them, took them
on his knees and told them stories, while he
enjoyed their prattle and pretty smiles. In
the midst of this pleasant occupation the
gentleman came on deck.
With fierce expression of face, he gazed
upon the scene for moment, then inquired
in harsh, husky voice
"You, sir, are you married ?"
eyes. have daughter older than your
little girl here," said the captain. "She re-
minds me very much of mine"
Here he patted her pretty little cheek.
"Fhat little girl, sir" exclaimed the indig-
nant Brazilian, with great emphasis, "that
girl is my wife, sir!"
The captain collapsed.
DIDN'T WANT The WHOLE FAMILY
A Utah teamster says: never tried to get
married but once, and that was to Mormon
gal up here to Logan. She was about the
slickest little critter you ever see. Fust time
came across her was where her folks and
camped out right about here. [ followed
on her trail pretty close for six months, and
thought l was going to trap her, sure. She
wanted me to be Mormon. was not patick
ler about that, for I did not like to jine
any church. I never did belong to any
church nor engine company in the State
However, I told her finally, as she crowded
me, that I'd swallow Brigham, tabernacle anc
all, for the love of her. So we got things
about fixed, and if she hadn't gone too fal
I might have been Bishop by this time
But she wanted me to marry that old Susar
Jane too-the darned dried up old Susar
Jane! "Emy," says I, 81 can't and won't
So l set my foot down, and there's where w
split. You see the old man was kind ofsick
ly, and just as sure as I'd agree to take Susar
Jane, when the old man died, I'd hav
had to marry the old woman too. l haven
hunted after wife since"
A Doc TRADE.-Dick Lazybones was tn
owner of large dog, which cost as much t.
keep as it would two pigs and the dog wa
worse than useless, and greatly annoyed Dick
wife. "Plague take the dog" said she; "Ml
Lazybones, I wish you would sell him, or d.
something or other with him. wonder yo,
keep such useless animal" "WeIl, vel
my DEAR" said Dick, "say no more about it
1 will get rid of him one of these days.
This was intended as mere get off on tn
part of Dick, but as his wife kept daily dingin
in his ears about the dog he was compelled t
take some order on the subject. "Well, wife,
said he, one day, "I've sold Jowler." "Hav
you, indeed Y'says she, "pm dreadful glad c
it. How much did you sell him for p Fifty
dollars" Fifty dollars! What! fifty do
lars for one dog? How glad I am! Blu
where's the money, my love ?" "Money," sal
Dick, shifting Longtime lazily from hi
mouth, II didn't get any money took tw
puppies at twenty-five dollars apiece"
A SEAsoNABLE SToRY.-Lewis and Sar
D., couple of residents of Long Islan(
who loved rum and hated snakes, some yeal
ago, went down to the salt marsh to NOV
They hung their scythes and were about CON
mencing work, when Lewis proposed to Sal
that they should take drink of the quar-
furnished for the occasion.
Sam agreed, of course. Itwas hot day, an
they concluded to rest awhile under the shad
of a tree, and then take another drink to g
ready on.
The bottle passed two or three times, whe
Sam said TO Lewis:
"Let's drink the darned stuff up, and "
won't be hankering after it."
1t was bargain, and betwixt the two tn
balance was disposed Of
A pause ensued. Lewis rose to his tee
threw his scythe over his shoulder, declaring
"Tll be darned if I'll NOW without my rum
"Darned if I will either" says Sam, an
with that they trudged home without cuttlr
a swarth.
"Do1NG" RAILWAY OFFICIAL.-The tc
lowing amusing incident occurred on tt
North London Railway: A short time sin
a passenger remarked, in the hearing OF OF
ofthe companys servants, how easy it was
"do" the company, and said he often travels
from Broad Street to Dalston junction wit
out ticket. "Any one can do it did
Yesterday" When he alighted, he was II
lowed by the official, who asked him how
was done. For consideration, he agreed
tell him. This being given, "Now," said