The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-09-19
THE GRAY BACK,
ye ugly, creepin. blastit wonner,
Detested, Stunned, by saunt and sinner. u

Detested, Stunned, by saunt and sinner"
By paragraph in Western paper W,
learn that farmer away up in Missouri, o
an investigating turn of mind, several month
ago made microscopic examination of on
OF the species of grasshoppers which wer'
then ravsging the country thereabout Thil
veracious rustic declares that the letters F. D.
though exceedingly minute, were d;scernibl,
on its back, which characters he interprets t.
represent the words "fsll destroyer"
This reminds US of similar examination
said to have been made during the war o.
that pestiferous little chronological specimen,
called the "Gray Back" the scientific term
for which is pediculu humanus.
We venture the assertion that there is not q
man who wore sword, carried musket, o,
packed haversack in "the late unpleasant.
ness, who does not retain lively recollection
of that diminutive insect It was his close
companion in camp, on the march, and even
in the inactive interludes of battle it would
prick him on some tender portion of his
anatomy, reminding him Of its presence,
rousing his combativeness, and squirting him
forward to renewed exertion and boider
achievements. There was no one thing during
those four exciting years that called forth
more objurgatory remarks, violent explosives
and energetic profanity.
Gray Backs habits differed from those of
another member of the family or species
called the "crab," which, it is said, adheres
to the skin with provoking tenacity; but he
I've presume the little pest must have been of
the masculine gender from its tormenting
characteristics would insert his proboscidian
spear into the cuticle of his victim, and
speedily run to cover under the lining of an
under-garment and there snugiy ensconced,
would gleefully regard the scratching, with
ing and torturing that he had been instru-
mental in producing So closely did he hide
that it took painstaking and persevering effort
to find him, and when detected and drawn
forth to be sacrificed to appease the angry
passions Of man, his last moments were
cheered with the reflection that he would
leave behind him innumerable undeveloped
youngsters who would one day grow up to
avenge their parents taking off"
These embryo pests were remarkably to-
nacious of life; prolonged boiling of the
garment to which they adhered would merely
act as stimulus to their rapid development,
and on some fine day when the soldier would
put on his "biled" shirt and rejoice in the
consciousness of being clean and tidy, these
infnitessimal rascals, warmed by the vivifying
heat of his body, would burst forth from their
tiny shells, and, fully armed, comm ence their
work of torturing the hapless son of Mars.
As far as the army was concerned, the gray
backs were ubiquitous and no respecters of
rank, attacking the august person of general
as readily as that of the most insignificant
drummer boy. There was no other way OF
eradicating them but by discarding the infect
ed garments, and replacing them by new ones.
According to the veracious authority of a
gallant captain of the old Sixth Louisiana
Regiment, we'll known to the habitues of
Canal street, even this plan was not always
attended with success.
1t was during one of the mastery
campaigns of Gen. jackson in the Valley
of the Shenandoah, when hemmed in
by three Federal armies, that great strate-
gist made bold and sudden dash at
that one under the command of Gan. N. P. |
Banks, put it to route and captured it's entire |
wagon train. It was in this action that Banks |
gained the name and fame of being Jackson's |
"Old jack" as the "foot |
cavalry of the Second Corps affsctionately |
called him, gave orders that his soiled and
ragged veterans be supplied with fresh under
stores.
1t was during this interchange of garments
that our friends, the Captains, story comes in.
Knowing the cunning and sticking qualities
Of the gray backs, he ordered his men to dis
robe on the south bank of one of the forks of
the Shenandoah, and leaving their discarded
garments behind, ford the river and get their
new clothing from the wagons on the opposite
side, thinking by this maneuver to get rid of
he little torments. This was accomplished,
out while the men were putting on their new
attention was attracted to the
disturbed surface of the river, and an exam
nation revealed the astounding fact that the
gray backs left behind with the old clothes
we're boldly swimming the river to rejoin their
I'D soldier comrades, being unwilling to be
eft in the river in that unceremonious style.
This story may appear Munchausenish to
ome incredulous readers; but our informant
s excellent authority on garments, as well as
,ray backs. and is ready to hold up his LETT
land, reverently kiss copy of the "Army
and solemnly affirm Che never
belonged to the army in Flanders) that the
bove is an DER true tale
Bot to return to microscopic views. A
Confederate soldier in the hospital, recovering
rom severe wound, in overhauling his
arnents, CHANGED to find splendily de-
eloped gray back.
Being of an investigating turn of mind like
ur friend from the rural districts of Mis-
/