The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1875-04-14
A ssOMNAMBULIST PILOT.
Coaxing Steamboat Through a
Crooked Pass i'm the Dark
eoo One of the Mysteries of
mississippi River Navi- ..t
cation.

- Mark Twain An the April Atlantic Monthly.
h15Thefe used to he an excellent pill.
OF on the river, a Mr.. x. who was q
somnanbulist. 1t was said that. II
his mind was troubled about a bad
lpiece Of river. he was pretty sure to
get up and walk In his sleep and do
strange things. He was once fellow
pilot for trip or two With George
E. on q great New Orleans pass
enger packet. Late one night the
boat was approaching Helena, Ark. F.;
the water was. low, and the crossing
above the town in a very blind and
| tangled condition. X. had seen the
crossing since E. had, and, as
the night was particularly drizzly.
sullen and dark, E. was consider
ing whether he had not better have
| x. called to assist in running the
place, when the door opened and X.
walked in. Z
LET me take her, Mr.. E; I've
seen this place since you have, and
it is so crooked that / reckon can
run it myself, easier than could tell
you how to do it, s.............
ut is kind of you, and swear
am willing. haven't got another
drop of perspiration left i'm me. /
have been spinning around and
around the wheel like q squirrel. 1t
is SO dark / can't tell which way she
il swinging till she is coming around
like a whirligig.' l2@& Na t' #a
! So E. took q seat on the bench,
painting and breathless. X--- as
sumed the wheel without saying any
thing, steadied the waltzing steamer
with turn or two, and then stood
at ease. coaxing her little to this
side and then to that. as gently and
as sweetly as if the time had been
MONDAY. When E. observed
this marvel Of steering, he wished
he had not confessed. He stared
and wondered and finally said:
"N ell, / thought | knew how to
steer steamboat, but that was an
other mistake of mine.''
x. said nothing. but went serenely
on with his work. He rang for leads !;
he rang to slow down the steam, he
worked the boat carefully and neat
| ly into invisible marks, then stood
at the centre Of the wheel and peer
/ ed out blandly into the blackness,
fore and aft, to verify his position !;
as the leads shoaled more aud more,
he stopped the engines entirely, and
the dead silence and suspense of
drifting" followed; when the shoal-
est water was struck he cracked on
the steam, carried her handsomely
over, and then began to work her
warily into the next system of shoal
marks; the same patient. heedful
use of leads and engines followed !;
the boat slipped through without
touching bottom, and entered upon
the third and last intricacy of the
crossing; imperceptibly she moved
through the gloom, crept by inches
into her marks, drifted tediously till
the shoalest water was cried, and
then, under a tremendous head Of
steam, went swinging over the reef
and away into deep water and safe
tyi
E. let his long pent breath
pour out in a losg and relieving sigh,
and said: 1 he-01letaf o.'E s9I.
That's the sweetest piece of pill
oting that was ever done on the
Mississippi riVerl Il wouldn't have
believed it could be done, if hadn't t
seen it,
There was noreply, and he added :
Jus: hold her FIVE minutes longer
partner. and let me run down and
get cup Of coffee"
A minute later e. was biting
into pie down in the 'stexas, p aud
comforting himself with coffee. Just
then the night watchman happened
in, and was about to happen out
again, when he noticed E., and
exclaimed: a9F3 aHa gsl4aaf
"Who is ut the wheel, sir?'
'sX------.p 8t Tus E a.
5"Dart for the pilot-house quicker
than lightning." a gHa
The next moment both men were
flying up the pilot house companion
way, three steps at a jump Nobody
therel The great steamer was
whistling down the middle of the
river at her own sweet will The
watchman shotout ofthe place again !:
E. seized the wheel, set an en-
gine back with power, and held his
breath while the boat reluctantly
swung away from a 'stow-hcad''
which she was about TO knock into
the middle of the Gulf of Mexicol
'By and by the watchman came
back and said: !: aoidw Q3neis hal
@Didnit that lunatic tell you he
was asleep when he first came up
here p q ilthaP sa74a % nasg ss
s.No.'' }suBasi9 IIe bae yen
Swell, he was. Tsfoana him walk
ing along on top f'the railings, just
as unconcerned as another man
would walk a pavement; and put
him to bed. Now just this minute
there he was again away astern, 90.
ing through that sort Of tIght-rope
deviltry the same as before" l
swell. II think I'll stay BY next
time he has one Of those fits. But
j hope he'll have them often. You
just ought to have seen him take
this boat through Helena crossing. /
never saw anythingso gaudy before.
And If he can do such gold.leaf. kid
glove, diamond -breastpin plotting
when he Is sound asleep, whatcoaldR't
he do if he was dead
+ E
Is A Horrible Affair. aaB