Whig and tribune. [volume] (Jackson, Tenn.) 1870-1877, 1875-03-20
NIIsCELLAN EOUs.

The latest ladies' kid glove comes
up almost to the funny bone.
The sad and melancholy days OF
Openings" have come again.
Sashes now come nearly half yard
wide. They are no longer tied around
the waist, but are draped in long
looped bows on the left side.
as there any man in ihis town named
Afternoon inquired a Mississippi
postmaster, as he held up letter d.
rected "P. NJ"
A man may forget his business, his
family, and all the sacred obligations
of lite, but he always remembers
where he got that counterfeit bill.
The banditti of Salem, Mass, have
just been celebrating the centennial
anniversary Of the withdrawal of the
loya. British troops from North Bridge.
A London minister, recently taken
i'll of smallpox in his pulpit, insisted
on being carried TO the hospital in o
passing hearse, rather than cab, lest
the disease should be communicated
to others.
The Methodist Episcopal Church
South has published a hymn book in
Spanish, to be used in Mexico. The
discipline of the church has also been
printed in the same language.
a Washington man who was treated
to "25-center," slipped back to the
cigar store, the other day, and econOm-
ically exchanged it for "three for
quarter"
A bride in Indiana, after the cOnclu-
sion of the marriage ceremony stepp-
ed gracefully forward and requested
the clergyman to give out the hymn:
'"This is the way long have sought"
Funny names these: Mr.. Madden
and Miss Backup married last week,
in Logansport, Ind. 1t seems at the
wedding he got his Back up but she
got Nader.
a school in Vermont is presided over
by cress-eyed teacher. A few days
ago he called out: THAT boy that am
looking at will step out on the floor"
Immediately twenty-seven lads walked
out in front of the astonished peda-
gogue.
The Cincinnati Enquirer tells of
colored woman who says that when
God converts the soul of man He
doesn't necessarily convert his body
There are, indeed, instances to Justify
this opinion, but what misery must the
soul endure which is doomed to wit
ness the nice time the body is having
without being able to sail in little on
its own account.
The blarsted English papers think it
the height of absurdity for Congress
to pass an act with a view to permit
ting a young lady to accept a mar
riage present from the Egyptian Vic
eroy. "This excess of Republican
delicacy," they say, sis neither more
nor less than straining at a gnat,
while the existing condition of politics
in the United States demonstrates that
the great Republic has no difficulty
about swallowing any number or cam
els"
A man in San Francisco entered a
police station in a state of intense ex-
element and told the captain that he
wanted to prefer a charge against his
room mate. eve both wanted to go
to heaven" he said, ''and we knew We
couldn't get there if we committed SUI
icide We talked the matter over
good deal, and finally we agreed to
kill each other. The plan was for each
of us to have a sharp razor ready at
the others throat, and at a signal to
cut as hard and deep as we could We
got all ready, with the razors at our
throats, and gave the word. l cut
his throat all right, but he failed to do
as he agreed, and here 1 am alive. l
want to make regular charge of false
pretences against him, so he can't get
into heaven" The captain locked up
the maniac, for such he was, and went
to the room described by him. There
he found that man had been murder
ed by having his throat cut while
asleep in bed. The lunatic had inven-
ted the rest of the story, and while I'M
der an hallucination had committed
the deed.