The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1875-05-29
WIT AND WISDOM.

ColOred congregation in Dayton have
decided TO forgive their clergyman for
betting ON three-card monte and losing $50
OF festival money. One of the deacons
remarked "We is all human and de game
IL VERY exciting
"Well, | always made il a rule to Tell
my wife everything that happens, said
Browning. oh, my dear fellow, that's
nothing Said Smithwig, 4" j tell my
wife lots Of things that never happen at
all.
The British troops tried hundred years
ago to make March in April and failed
lamentably. If they had waited until this
year, any time in April, they would
have found March easy.
Are you an Odd Fellow N "No. sir
We been married for week. "a ---
do you belong to the order Of Odd Fv
lows mo, no: | belong to the order
OF married men. Mercy, how dumb
Are you mason N ''No, Tim a carpenter
by trade Worse and worse Are Won
Son of Temperance m Bother Won
no I'm son Of MIR. John Goslings.
A mOther-in law has sent cornmupica
tion to Milwaukee magazine. denounclny
''the vile rabble Of coarse, low-hred Jour
nallsts, who make paragraphs about mems
wives mothers. Nell bet that woman
keeps her son In-law within traces. Per
haps she even stood over the poor devil
aud made him write her communication
for her. .-LoHjSrdie COprisr-JOurnat
Bill Smikes came home mellow the other
night, and when his wife asked him What
allied him b. said he had been 10 the
spelling school and had (hic) got foul II
hip pip-Poppn poppo -hip-popity -hip-pop-
hlppltyhop- himus hippimus- hip-hip hip
hlppltymus- hipOpy mus-or some such (hicj
confounded word, and il had given him
one of his spells. "- Sa,oioqian
Drop apiece VI wool on the hoor- Do
you hear itl Nv It "a noIsIess How
about the snow Does II make great
shout 70 tell as It y coming Certainly
not. He giveth snow ike wool II Is
noiseless. And this is altogether charac-
teristic Of Divine operations The great
forces Of the Universe are mute The
sun never speaks. The Atmosphere l.
mute. Gravitation has no tongue
IN the lives w the saddest of us there
are bright days when We feel Az If w could
take the great world into our arms Then
come gloomy days when the fire will ntith-
er burn on our hsarths nor in oUr hearts
ana all without and within y dismal cold
and dark. Believe ne, every heart has
its secret sorrows, which the world knows
not of and oftentimrs NJ call a man cald
when he j. only sal.
There Is sometimes An unconscious hum
Or in the very seriousness of our New
England people. farmer was telling
neighbor about his wife's llness She was
subject ~ nervous spells one day shy
was up, and the next day she was down
and II was dreadful bad "D1 you think
she'll die r. asked the sympathzfng neigh
Dor. wall, no ! guess not. was th-
reply she ain art y '
While riding in a stage coach from Kin
derhook u albany. NJ Nv, many years
since, John Van Buren,. who was smoking,
asked stranger IN the stage if smoking
was agreeable ~ him The stranger an
swered Yes, II y agreeable. Smoke
away have often thought II ever va
rich enough ! would hire some loafer tu
smoke ID my face Mr. Van Buren, threw
his cigar cut of the window.
AT a school examination clergyman
made a brief address to the pupils ON the
necessity VI obeying their teachers aud
growing up loyal and useful ditizens ro
emphasize his remarks he pointed to a
large national flag spread on one side at
the room. and inquired Boys, what is
that tiag for A little urchin, who un-
derstood the condition NJ the house better
than the speaker, promptly answered, SO
hide the dirt, sir.
A scheol teacher IN Mississippi used his
facility i'll short hand tn make A verbatim
report If A negro clergyman prayer, and
/ he sends il to the Educational Monthly As
! follows eco Lord God " dis glorious an
| iverse, wilt don look down Ia az omnipres
ence " az eye upon desc dy collard chii-
| dren bowed upon de knuckle-b bone dis
night. Take a solemn peep upon Is ana
\ let a heap q light in. On every side duu
knowst, o Lord, is de evidence of de dis.
\ location and destruction Of the human
family Dere be fighting among one anoth-
er and natural disease But we die tu live
again either As saints or evil spirits. Drrc
he discussions on doctrines, elecshlOn.
INSTRUMENTATION, perfection, and such like,
confuse a. intellects Of both black men
ana white But, good Lord, dou knowest
dat desc are vain illusions. sphttm and
dividm dy creatures into sexes without
mercy Whoever will, can ~ to glory
Many dere viii w with slick countenauces
white collars ana tine clothes, who wil
find de gates shut against them, while u,
blind old woman, hobbhng M crutcht =.
she u straight III Amen.
Six hundred ana fifty cart drivers ar,
inquiriug whether their pay for the worl
they did il April i kept from them solely
be cause Mayor Wickham viii not w Com
missioner smith take tile trrasureship W
the Police Board