Union and American. [volume] (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1875-1877, 1875-11-24
GLEANINaS.

weight OF the earth is 5.S55. .OOO.-
OOu OOO. 600 tons, yet some people
think they tilt it up whenever they
walk abroad.
''wMAr Is that dog barking at?"
asked n fop. whose boots were more
polished than his ideas. WHY
said n bystander, 1he sees another
puppy in your boots"
Il NEVER get mad at fool" was
the cutting remark Of n man who
fSneied himself affronted by an
other. That accounts for YOUR al
ways being on such amicable terms
with YOURSELF" was the rejoinaer.
WREN you see n man wearing n
glossy new hat, and at the same
time having ON a ragged coat and
broken shoes, pants with too much
spring mt the bottom and two little
thickness at tie knees, YOU may
know he has been betting on eIee-
tions.
A YOUNG lady, about to be mar
RED, insisted on having a certain
clergyman to perform tho cere-
mony. saying: 'Ie always throws
50 much feeling into the thing; and
l wouldn't give a cent to be marri-
ell unless il could be done in a
style OF gushing rhapsody"
I DON'T think there's n preacher
in the world could resist the fasci-
nations Of that woman" he said.
And the other agreed with him.
No, indeed; why, j believe there's
even 'layman couldn't" Thus
docs the world evolve in new indi-
rect comparisons.
Mira LIvEnMoRE says the girls are
not particular enough about the
men they marry. Mrs. Livermore
is right. Many young girl. has
become welded to n man, and
found out when too late, that he
couldn't wh;tewash a bedroom
without streaking the walls.
ALL calm and beautiful she lsy
upon her dying couch. 1t was n
sad and mournful scene, and as the
relatives and friends OF the diving
maiden gathered around the death
bed, she opened her eyes and. clasp
ing her hands, exclaimed: II never
wore n pin-back. / die happy -
and then expired.
STREET. Car companies are reason
ably progressive but there is st,ll
one stsp for them to take. What
10 wanted 10 some man Of polite
manners to stand on the platform
and introduce the conductor to
ladies before that functionary puts
his hand round the waist to help
them on To be hugged without
IN introduction isn't right.
OxKSsrKmS did wrong in calling
his soa's attention to the fact that
the world is badly governed Ever
since that II has been nothing but
.grusnble. grumblc, grumble, until
now dcccat man has TO be con-
nected with a church, a railroad
company. q banking institution, or
so0ethiag OF that sort, before he
can steal and be respected. 49,
A SCRANTON physician has re-
moved half OF n patients tongue
observation-disclosures C'hroni-
cic. That's coed. We have Just
eight cents that says IL that physi-
clan will come to Easton and re-
move half the tongue that gets af.
ter US about two o'clock every
morning, he shall ride in n coach
with six horses, If be has any as
Pirations that way.-Easton Free
Press.
HE didn't hook like n beggar, but
he had his plans all laid before he
struck Vicksburg, and he cleared
hundred dollars here in two days.
lie didn't go around whining:-
please sIr, for the love OF God"
~ most Of them do, but he walked
mp TO n man. called him SGenerar'
to start with, and the shin -plasters
came in faster than he could take
them. The only five men in town
who didn't contribute, were men
whom he inadvertently addressed
as Captain Herald.
BARSUM has been lectnring at
Chicago, and he tells the following
story: In his museum, n gentle,
man and daughter stood gazing Mt
the Siamese twins. The Snowman
said they were the most remarka-
BILE phenomenon in the known
world, were born in Siam, &C.
"Brothers, ! suppose?" remarked
the gentleman, interrogatively, still
looking with wonder at the tied.
ups. AYES, sir, brothers; natural
brothers. teo." said the Snowman.
"My DEAR said the visitor religi-
ously turning TO his daughter.
"tbink OF the goodness OF Prori,
dence IN thus linking two natural
brothers tess,hers instead Fof 20
strangers.s - II - - - =