Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-12-31
Gleanings.
A tie gamc-Getting married

A tie gamc-Getting married.
The best thing out-an aching tooth.
The man who would like to see YOU
the blind man.
A man born without feet must necessa-
lilly be notorious.
| We are never more than half as misera-
bic as we think we are.
1t makes hen tender to let her lay
awhile after she is dead.
"You may tread on me for 81"
Placard on a pair OF boots.
Mr.. Berg intends to clip the wings of
highhyers who clip their horses.
What piece of carpentry becomes a gem
as soon as it is finished: Agate.
A Gotham lady who had parrot stuff.
ed complained: "It don't look life-like."
Envy seems to be disease that every
body has, and everybody is ashamed
of.
Why is the solar eclipse like woman
whipping her boy? Because it is hiding
of the sun.
Weak men are the hardest kind to con.
troll. They have no more backbone than
an angleworm.
Life consists in making mistakes and
then grumbling because we were not born
wise.
Adversely puts weapons into mans
t,rl fnn
often disarms him.
The Sun never repents of the good he
does; nor does he ever demand recon-
pense Poor Richud.
Busy men, like many others, are tempt
ed by the devil, but an idle man tempts
the devil himself to make him subject.
"Who dat hit me? Where's dat Ian
term" were the exclamtions of an aston
lshed Elmira darkey, after being thrown
something like a hundred feet by loco
motive.
A lazy fellow once declared in company
that he could not find bread for his fami-
". Nor l." replied an industrious me-
chanic, II am obliged to work for it."
The mysterious disappearance of an
Italian violin girl in Providence affords
possible opportunity for putting in prac-
ticc that good old song, Hang up the fid-
die and the beau."
The intelligent compositor used to hang
up his coat in the Detroit Post office but
the editor wrote paragraph beginning
Grants auction was not a success" and
he spelled "auction with an IS"
| "There's letter in the CANDLE" is the
title of new song. It's pretty pro-
duction, but yet we can't help thinking
that if the letter stays there long it's going
to get scorched so that no one can read
| it.
! HARMLESS AMUSEMENT Mr.. Muckle.
stone, (after missing his bird for the twen-
tieth time): S; Y, Gaskins, / do believe
the birds are frightened at me! Old Keep
er (blandly): They didn't ought to be
! sir!
"Pa, guess our man Ralph is good
Christian" ''How so my boy:" "Why,
Pa read IN the Bible that the wicked
shall not live out half his days, and
Ralph says he has lived out ever since he
was little boy.
A gentleman was examining an UNI
brella and commenting upon its fine
quality. YES" said person present
'he fancies everything he Sees "And,"
added a third party, sis inclined to sieze
everything he fancics."
John Smith was born, baptised, arrest
ed, shot, buried, married and sentenced
to the penitentiary for life, all in one
week, recently, in Omaha. This did not
stopping his paper on the following Mon
day, either r.-Brfc-o-brdc.
Indian corn in North Germany often
assumes a place among the household
plants. 1t is regarded there rs tropical =
In our country it becomes tropical only
under the name of Bourbon, and then it
warns man up so that he feels as ii he
were under the tropic of Capricorn.
Says the Burlington Hrrkeye: Briefly
stated, our financial views are these: Tie
backs are better than greenbacks. They
are in greater demand; they are more con-
stantly in circulation; they are always
boyant, dreadfully boyant they are al
ways good for their face, and are always
quoted above Par, or mar either.
A Texas Judge is credited with the fol
lowing decision: The fact is, Jones, the
Jail is an old, rickety affair, and cold as
an iron wedge. You applied to this court
for release on ball. giving it as your
opinion that you would freeze to death
there The weather has not moderated,
and to keep you from freezing, Twill
direct the Sheriff to hang you at o'clock
this afternoon"