Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-07-22
miscellaneous.
Roll-calI-the bakers visit.

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Roll-calI--the bakers visit.
Ours at home-the baby.
A pair of tights-two drunkards.
A-veil-able space-a woman's face
For music lovers-a Patti on
Grisi plate.
Abraham was the first sick mar
He had Hagar in the wilderness.
The way for a desolate old bache
ior to secure better quarters is t,
take ''better- r-half."
Boys have divers reasons for hook
eying from school just now. If yol
doubt it examine their hair.
The children in Florida say the,
live on sweet potatoes in the summer
and on strangers in the winter.
ToArchbishop Whately is ascribed
this parodox: "I'he larger the in
come the harder it is to live with.
in it.
Why does adack go under the wa
ter? For divers reasons. Why does
she go on land3 For sun-dry rea
sons.
The Wisconsin farmer who left 9
candle burning in the barn so as to
scare thieves away has no barn to
watch now.
"Are there any fools in this cityg'
asked stranger of newsboy. "No;
do you feel lonesomer was the re-
ply.
A little wart- backed hop-toad will
break up croquet party quicker
than the darkest thunder cloud that
ever gathered.
81 wonder what makes my eyes so
weak" said fop to gentleman.
"They are in weak place" respond
ed the latter.
A landlord, having let all his houses
out but one, was asked if that unlet
house was his last. "Yes, last, but
not leased" was his reply.
"How odd it is" said Pat, as he
trudged along on foot, one hot sultry
day, "that a man never meets a cart
going the same way he isr'
Ornitho-logic. If all birds that
sing are songsters, then all birds that
roost are roosters; hence all hens are
ROSTERS Commercial Advertiser.
"Sir," said an old Judge to young
lawyer, ''you would do well to pluck
some of the feathers from the wings
of your imagination and stick them
in the tail of your judgment"
A bad little boy, upon being prom
ised five cents by his mother if he
would take dose of castor oil, OBJ
tanned the money, and then told his
parent that she might cast her oil in
the street.
A young man in California began
to read paragraph about mine to
his sweetheart, commencing: "Yoba
mine"-when she interrupted him
with: 81 don't care if do, john"
The only people in these parts
whose habitations have marble fronts,
are those who are the least given to
boasting and vain display. They oc-
cupy the cemetery gronnds.--Brans-
aoicker.
'No, gentlemen of the jury" thun-
dered an eloquent advocate the other
day in Denver Court, "this matter
is for his honor to decide, who sits
there sleeping so beautifully" His
honor opened both eyes and his
mouth, and said: "All owing to
your narcotic speech, SIR
Baseball has demoralized Hartford. :
The careful Clemens has bought
seat in the grand stand; the clergy
have season tickets; and, worse than
all, one enthusiastic family has re-
moved the cushions from its church
pews and applied them to alleviating
The agony of ten-inning game.
An old lady, on hearing that al
7oung friend had lost his place on
of misdemeanor, exclaimed:
Miss Demeanor? Lost his place on
account Of Miss Demeanor? Well,
veil! I'm afeared it's too true that
here's allus woman at the bottom
# mans difficultiesr'
A Boston editor bushes for the ig-
lorapce of three young girls of that
:ity who tried to get their horses
lead down so that it could drink by
lnbuckling the crupper. Probably
he same girls who unbuckled the
'reeching-strap going down hill, be-
ause it pulled against the poor
lorse so.