The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1875-04-09
Miscellaneous.
THE SNUFF-COLORED SUIT.

scarcely know how it happened, but a
timber must have fallen and struck me on
the head.
The thing that realized after it was that
| was straight and still on something hard,
and when | tried to move myself and speak,
l found it impossible to do so. | concluded
that l must be in some very tight, dark
place, for | could not see; in fact | soon
learned that, though perfectly conscious,
| could do nothing but hear. A door opened
and footsteps approached; but felt cloth
taken from my face, and voice which
recognized as that of Mr.. Jones, the father
of my wife that was to be-said:
ale hasn't changed much," and his COM
panion, whose voice knew to be the village
undertaken, Hopkins by name, lightly:
"Better looking dead than alive. How
does Jerusha feel about it? Take on much
"Oh no, she had her eye on another fel-
low, anyhow, and better match, too, ex-
cepting the money part. Though l had
nothing against Ben. only he didn't know
much and was about the homeliest man l
ever knew Such a mouth why it really
seemed as though he was going to swallow
knife, plate and all, when he opened it al
dinner"
"Well," said the cheerful voice of Hop
kins, "he'll never open his mouth again !
and then he proceeded to measure me for &
coffin, for it seemed that | was dead, as they
thought was, which was all the same tC
the greedy pocket of the Undertaken. | hat
heard of undertaknrs who always whistlet
Ijoytully when they got Il measure, but
never believed it before. But the man act
ually whistled a subdued dancing tune whel
he measured me, and it seemed to me as i
three or four cicles were rolling down m!
back to the music of his whistle.
His duty done, they covered my face agaii
and left me to my own reflections whicl
were not particularly comforting, although
had often heard it remarked, that meditation
was good for the soul, ard that was the bes
chance | ever had of trying it.
An hour must have passed when the doc
again opened, and two persons came viii:
perng along to where lay, and the voice {
my promised wife fell upon my ear.
81 dread to look at him, Bob; he was S
mortally homely alive, he must be frighttl
dead "
| ground my teeth in imagination, as | n
membcred how often she had gone into raj
lures, or pretended to, over my noble bro
and expressive mouth and how she had o
ten declared that if | were taken away fro
her she would surely pine away and die.
One of them raised the cloth, and kne
they were looking at me. Bob. was her Sc
ond cousin aud knew he was that 10Th
fellow whom her father had mentioned.
= "Scems to me you don't feel very bt
about his dying, 'Rusha," remarked Bo
meditatively.
, "Well, to tell the TRUTH said my dear b
trothed, II don't care much about it. If
had lived | should have married him, b
. cause he was rich, and father wanted me t
4 but was getting about sick of my bargai
for | knew | should always be ashamed
him, he looked so much like a baboon."
"No, didn't! My affections were vast
long ago upon one who never returned l
love-" and my fast fading idol sigh
heavily.
: They had covered my face by this tin
and were standing few steps from wher'
lay.
about how long ago, 'Rusha9" ask
Bob
"a year or such matter" with anotl
deep sigh which ended in a fit of sneezin!
"About this time went away ?" inter
gated the cautious Bob, coughing little.
, "Well, yes, some'res near" assented !
' dear afIianced.
"Now, Jerusha, you don't mean to insil
RI ate that ="
81 don't mean to insinuate anything, b
,y Smithw and the angelic sweetness of
voice was somewhat sharpened
"Now, see here Russia, Pve loved J
er ever since you were knee high to gopl
but thought when you came home that
was sweet on that other chap; but swa
believe you liked me all the time -
- ooh, Bob |" said my was-to-be, in gu
Z ing sort of way.
:" "Mine own Jerushaw remarked Bob.
Then heard asubdued rush, accompar
N. by violent lip explosions. l tried to kicl
i. CRATE my teeth, or do something to reli
my outraged feelings, but not kick NJ
crate could raise. 1t was an awful fix
be in, but had to stand it, or rather la
so laid still and let 'em alone until they
tired of it, and then they went out, an
was again left to my own pleasant rel
tions.
Night came, and so did lot of young
9 lows with their girls, to sid up with me;
they had jolly time of it, although it
against my principles to enjoy it on so
iE emn an occasion,
IL seemed an are until morning, bu