The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1875-02-24
OLD UNCLE HEB.
The Philosophical Snnner at His ne.
rnrturc.

| From the Detroit Fire Press
| Ili~ full name was Ilcbdon Wright
! Turner. but everybody called him "Ilcb. -
He must have passed his sixteenth birth
day, but no one cared to look second
time to see il he was growing old and
wearing out. lie chorcd among livery
/ stables aud saloons. always hungry and
always ragged. and while no one was his
/ friend he had no enemies.
The other day hc fell down i'm "A flint i'm
a saloon on the river road. and when ne
was restored To CONSCIOUSNESS he startled
| the tllrr or four men who had placed him
| on the bed by eXclaiming:
die 90 WV ~ ~ '''' 7o"'f 10
No one had ever stopped To- think
whether Uncle Heb was ever going TO
die. II was the general imprps, lion
/ among lis acquaintance that hc would
live along for 300 or 400 years.
How do you lccl:' they asked.
"kindc trcmbly and weak" hc replied.
I'll bet fifty cents III kick the bucket
aiorc noon :"
They offered to bring doctor. hut nc
said:
NO. don't take any trouble: tend
right 10 business ~ usual. aud when
KICK the beam plant me quietly and with
out any style :"
The men imagined that It was 4 mere
weakness, which would soon pass on, and
one of them sat down near him while the
other, retired To 20 about their business.
It tough weather for "A funeral :" re-
Piled Uncle Heb, - the fierce wind howl
eel around the house. 1T don't make
any difference how I'm carried TN: |
wouldn't know II il thcra were sixteen
hacks and u brass band iu,t "a, lief 20
up alone with the driver
After pause he smiled hlaudly and
inquired
They'll speak oc me ~ the late de.
ceased, wont they: YES. of course. |
should like TO read the papers tomorrow
and sec what they say of me. but | won't
be here. You know"
Have you any property to dispose
Off asked the watcher.
"Icmme see, unused Uncle Heb. "Ncs
thar an extra pair of huteS. and "A hat.
and about seventeen cents i'm money.
suppose the right way would be- to have
executor, 'pintcd, but a. | said before, |
don't want any fOoling around. loucau
divide up the estate between YOU"
The old man was very pale. aud he
seemed To be suffering. and the watcher
was anxious u do something.
81 tell YOU. replied Uncle Heb. I'D
like some brandy. fit wasn't Just a, il
i J wouldn't put you to any trouble. but
being I'm going away To stay ri like a
few swaller> OF real peach brandy-,omc
of that In the fancy decanter."
some was brought him. and he smack
ed his lips. smiled. and remarked:
"lf | wasn't going 10 die ri try and
lay in quart or two of that brand"
After five or ten minutes more the
nurse asked him il he didn't feel better.
Feel better echoed the old man,
"hOw can dying man feel better. Do
you suppose I'd be iooling around here if
| wasn't going to eXpirc:'
The man sat down, and Uncle Heb CON
liuued;
As soon a, 90 up the spout one of
you go to the POOrma,tcr and -ay: Mr..
Willard, old Heb i dead: send Teller
down and plant him. That will be a.
good a>a speech two hours long. m
| sorry was took sick here, but ii wasn't
my fault. You may 20 now"
| The man went out, thinking Uncle Heb
| out OF hi, mind, and sat down and PLAYED
| dominoeS for an hour. Hearing no move
! mcnt in the back room he opened the
! door,
The old man was dead.
! lie had died without cry or struggle,
and there wa, a smile on hi, face. a. if his
| dying moments had been spent in Won
| dcring how he would look rs ~ late de-
| ceased.