The St. Cloud journal. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1866-1876, 1875-07-01
THOSE CIRCUS BILLS.
All aged Female Acrobat Confuses q
Modest Young Man.

from the Detroit Free Press.
She had one in her hand as she came no
stairs, and she didn't say word until after
she had wiped her spectacles, placed them
on her nose, unfolded the bill, and read a
few Of the headlines.
She was old-fashioned in look. There
were strings to her bonnet, she had no bus
tle her grey hair was combed down smooth
ly, and there were only eleven yards in her
black alpaca dress.
Young man, don't you know that cir
cuses are awful liars and humbugs % she
finally enquired.
The man at the table leaned back in his
chair and refused 10 express an opinion.
"Well, I know it," she continued in
positive tone, "and l believe that they git
wuss every day. Now see here-listen to
this: "A gorgeous panorama Of amazing
gigantic combination of acrobat
ic talent That's all right on the poster,
but hev they got 'em? I'd like to see one
O them animals"
YOU'RE laboring under mistake, mad
am 1t means grand display of natural
| curiosities, and informs the public that the
proprietor has secured many frst-class ac-
robats-the chaps who stand on their heads,
turn head over heels, and cut up SO many
| monkey-shines"
at does, eh?" she unused "waal,do you
believe it takes smart person to keel
over"
"Well, one has to have good deal of
training"
"They do, eh?" she remarked, as she put
her umbrella in the corner and spat on
her hands; "rll show you that you are de-
ceived! Pm an old woman, but if 1
can't-w
MADAM, hold on-don't do it" ex-
claimed the man behind the table
II can flop right over there and never
shake my bonnet" she said, as she rose up.
Il know you can, madam, but don't. l
am here alone, and II don't want you
to. I'd rather you wouldn't. If you are
determined on it, shall leave the roomr'
"Well, you know I can do it, and that's
enough. You may be right about what
that means, but see here-hear this: The
| highways ablaze with resplendent chariots
the grandest pageant on earth I've bin
to lots Of circuses, young man, and I never
saw pageant yet. If they had one the
door of his cage wasn't open"
"You are also in error there. The bill
refers to the fact that the great number of
wagons, chariots, &C., make up sight worth
seeing as they pass along the street."
| "Um-m-m, she muttered as she folded
the bill over: II don't see why they
couldn't have said so then And now see
here-read that Sig. Govinof, in his
aerial flights Now, then, is that a boa
constructor or cundurango?"
ut is man, madam-one of the per-
formers. His real name is probably Jones,
but that isn't grand enough, and SO they
put him down as Sig. Govinoff.' He is
the man who jumps off rope, turns over
twice, and comes down all right
"He is, eh? Well, if he's got an idea that
he's the smartest man alive 1 want to dis
appoint him. l never did try to turn over
twice, but I'll do it right here and now or
break my neck ! Git the things of'n that
table,"
"stay, madam-don't. wouldn't have
you do it for fifty dollars"
Gust oncer'
| "For heavens sake, madam, get down
of'n this table-here-heres a dollar if
you won't do it p'
Il don't want your money, and | won't
try it if your so scarf, but l don't want no
circus going around talking about aryal
flights and deceiving the peopler'
She sat down, the young man wiped the
sweat off his brow, and presently she re-
marked:
"And here's another thing, right here:'A
sparkling asterisk, flashing across the field
of the cloth Of gold-Mons. Gomerique in
his great delineations of human character
I'd like to know who she is"
"Madam, that's mana man who de-
lineates character.'
"How?"
"Why, he makes up faces-expresses
mirth, sorrow, joy, and so forth"
'He does, eh? Well, what's that to blow
about? Make up faces-see here !"
And she shut her eyes, ran her tongue
out, and looked like he bottom of brass
, kettle which had been kicked in by a mule.
"They are humbugs, sir!' she said as she
drew her tongue in, land dye 'spose I'd
pay fifty cents to 60 to one?'
"They are quite entertaining as general
, thing"
''They are, eh =? Entertaining, eh? Well,
if l can't do more entertaining in FIVE min
r utes than circus can do all day I'll leave
my bonnet up here Here, hold on to this
! chairv'
: MADAM, earnestly hope you are not
going to perform any tricks.''
II hain't eh? You just hold on to the
t legs of this chair!'
II can't madam wouldn't do it for all
the diamond pins in Syracuse! Go away,
madam-go home Pm in an awful hur-
+ ryv'
, "Well, I won't then, but when I say
f circuses are humbugs can prove it. I
, don't keer two cents for big words and their
, panoplies, pageants, asterisks, giraf1es, ar
! yats, georgouses and ourang -outangs-
= can beat 'em all holler myself i"
t And she took off her spectacles, lifted
+ her umbrella, and went down stairs.
. The mean temperature is what
i disgusts man with every climate.