The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-04-01
BUBBLES.


winds, and its hosts of creditors.
We are tod that the young King of Spain has
''barely escaped sufocation.'' His escape at a
may be regarded as only respite, should he
remain among the Spaniards.
II the Cincinnati daiIies speak truly, the old
adage that March 'comes in like a lion, and
goes out like a lamb should be changed to
''eones il like jacllasS, and goes out like
a Ianb.'
When man does a job of work. in the streets
of Jackson, you may see about thirty loafers
standing eying him with open-mouthed Won
der-evidently regarding the man as not in his |
right mind.
News comes from Paris. of a French soldier, |
aged seventy-eight, who, it has just been dis
covered is a woman. We don't believe il. Did |
You ever know woman to keep a secret for
seveuty-eight years?
.sDo you believe, Jim, that negroes go to |
heaven, same as white people, when they dieq',
"DIvil bit av it. Mighty foine angels they'd |
make, their black bodies foppin' around |
Parrydice, adorned wild snowy wings!'
The Cincinnati papers last week were filled
with accounts OF battle between a jackass and
an escap ped lIoness. This is no; the first jackass
that has fought wild animals. Smith says he
knows several who make practice of fighting
the tiger.
The editor of the Haunden Leader trots in the
rear of one of the Chillicothe editors, gathering
up his filth, like a goose after. a blind mule
mouth agape, and eyes staring, waiting for the
manipulations Of nature to furnish him with
second-rate mouthful.
a lioness escaped in Cincinnati, the other
day, and the only way they could overcome
her, to hunt up an Irishman, and make
him believe it was the original British Lion,
when he took a shotgun, marched boldly up,
and blew her heart out.
We are very frequently annoyed by
receiving circulars from Lyeeum Bureaus.
The last one We received, starts off in this man
ner: sit is with pleasure that announce
that Mr.. Stuart Rogers, ,''-Never mind,
friends. we don't want to employ Mr.. Stuart.
The Brown County News Democratic paper,
exultantly remarks:
LAS long as William Allen is Governor of
Ohio, the idiots and Tascals will all be cared
for"
Could anything he more bewitchingly simple
and truthful than the above?
Talk about hard times, and Kansas relief
We saw, on one Jackson mans doorstep, the
other day, two cats. three dogs, one pig and six
chickens, and we were pained to learn that
was a large one-large enough TO hold this story
which is true.
An officious detective, in searching a house
for stolen silks, observed lady hastily placing
a bundle in q bureau drawer With great pomp'
he demanded possession of the articles, but the
lady stoutly refused. Thinking he had found
the thief at last, he forced the drawer open, and
found four diminutive dresses, four tiny
aprons, and fourteen yards of Canton flannel.
He left.
"Did you say, SAM, that your father
literary man?''
ayes, sab. Wrote several articles dat had an
immense circlation, sah."
'Were they the subject of Science, The"
"No, sab! dey wuz articles on plitikle como
my. an had big circlashun-dey wuz prom
issoTy notes.
Grigsby went 10 church Sunday, and sat
neXt.to Deacon Somers, who asked Mr.. G. for
the loan of his hynn-book. G. reached into
the pocket, where he usually carried his book,
forgetting that he had neglected to put on his
Sunday coat and handed over what he sup
posed to be the hymn book. The old Deacon
hasn't spoken to him since, and Gugsby never
found out the cause of it, until he commenced
looking for his "polzer-decl1,' and found it was
missing.
JUST IN TINE.
Jenkins has Troublesome neighbor, who, he
says, is always "just in time" He says he
would no more think of getting through with
meal without hearing the weIl-known '.just in
| fime," than he would think of doing without
salt to his meat. He concluded he wouldn't be
| bothered any longer, and nailed up his back
| gate, but just as he sitting down to supper
| that evening, he heard "just in time" from the
direction of the front gate He put a paddock
on the front gate next day, but glancing out of
the back window, that evening, ut supper-time
he familiar form climbing the back fence,
and '.just in time came floating on the breeze.
He locked his back door, when, just at meal
| time, '.just III time" came solemnly through
| the front parlor door. He locked and bolted
both DOORS and sat down to enjoy quiet meal,
when, gancing toward the back window, he
saw leg just reaching in, which was soon fol-
lowed by the entire person, who, with a bland
smile, exclaimed "just in time" His wife went
| to the country, and Jenkins kept "bachelor's
hail., but at the first supper he ate, after nail
ing up all the doors and windows, he declares
| that he heard the familiar 'just in time'' shout
ed down the chimney. He has purchased a
shotgun, and says that the gentleman on the
pale horse will come his way, one of these days,
when he will make it a point to see that this
| troublesome neighbor is 'just in time
CATCHING THE COLT.
Young Monirose went into the country the
last summer, for months recreation. 1t so
happened that the farmer with whom he board
ed had pretty daughtcr-one of those bright
eyed, ,nischievous imps, who delight in joke at
any one else's expense. Montrose was all sweet
ness to the little damsel and when, one day,
she came to him with the request that he go
into the pasture and catch t he colt, so that she
might take ride, he was halfway to the barn
ere she had finished speaking. Taking and old
| fashioned blind-bridIe from the rack, Montrose
marched boldly into the pasture where the
| colt stood eying him, the very picture of aston
ished simplicity, for he had never known the
uses of bride and saddle. The youth marched
up, and gathered the colt by the "forelock,"
when by a sudden frislz, he was sent spinning
twenty feet away. He once more advanced,
when the colt made sudden jump at him,
snatching his fine hat between his teeth, and
galloping gaily around, shaking the hat after
the manner of a terrier dog. Once more the
young man advanced, when the colt, becoming
tired of such sport, suddenly assumed the often
sive, and "went for" the young man, who made
lively time for the ''stal1e-and-rider' fence.
Just as Montrose reached the fourth rail, his
| equine enemy seized his pantaloons, in the
rear, and setting his fore-feet hard down, gave
a sudden jerk, which left poor Montrose clad
in the costume of Central African dandy; his
| torn shirt Tapping around his head like the
| sails of a storm-t ossed vessel.
| The colt, meantime, was making desperate
| efforts to catch the young mans foot between
his teeth, when the frantic screams of that in II
dlvidual brought the farm hands peIl-mell from
every direction, armed with pitch-forlzs, rakes,
&c. The pugnacious colt was driven off, and
| Montrose was taken into the barn, where one
of the hired men kindly loaned him salt of
| nd n N cd chi hat