The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-02-13

Then he vas Q man and posiiiyist
The Indiana Judges stand no nonsense from the
bar. A lawyer there, lately, in the course Of his
argument used the word dispangement. " Stop
using Lasing words" said the judge, " or sit
down" The poor lawyer, undertaking to ex-
plain was ruthlessly fined twenty dollars fer con-
tempt
Pittsburg shOpwOman has been sued by her
landlord for libel, because, when he seized her
household goods for arrears of rent, she hung iu
the window OF her store the following conspicu-
Gus nOtice s' ATTENTION AL: A widow
woman 90 be sold out EIr the mere sum Of twenty
two dollars; being for one months rent ard cost
Of suit My child being sick caused me to be in
arrears. I appeal 10 the public 10 help me- My
ruthless landlord, Jerry Sullivan, will sell me out
and make me destitute Vengeance 10 mine and
I will repay, saith the Lord "
CoxKcpo rHE PRESs.-I happened to be in the
Argus Office the other day, talking with Colonel
Bangs, the editor, when a red-whiskered man
entered and saluted the Colonel by throwing
chair at him, then he seized Bangs by the hair,
bumped his head against the table three or four
times, thsn kicked him on the shins. When this
exhilaratlng exercise was over, the visitor shook
his fzt cluse 10 Colonel's nose, and said, {" you
mntton-headed outcast, If you don't put that
notice in to morrow I'll come round yer and
smash you up Do you hear me? Then he
euffed Bangs ears a couple OF times, kicked him
some more, emptied the inkstand on his head,
place, knocked over the table and went out.
During all this time the Colonel sat with
sickIy kind Of smile on his face and never
uttered a word. When the man left, Bangs
picked up the table, wiped the ink and sand from
his face and 70 me said
"Gus will have his little fun, you seer
lie Is somewhat exuberant humorist,' i
replied. - What was the object Of his joke ?"
Well he is going to sell his furniture at aue-
ton and promised TO notice the fact in to-day's
Argus, bat forgot it and he called in to remind
me Of it." l .r.- .- t....
,sDo all your friends refresh your memory in
that vivid manner? IfI'd been in your place I'd
have knocked him down."
GNo YOU wouldn't" said Bangs; " no you
.vwouIdn't" "Gus controls two thousand dollars
worth Of official advertising. I'd sooner he'd
kick me from here to BOrneo and back again than
take that advertising away from the Argus.
whats a few bumps and a sore shin or two
Alongside of all that fatness7 No, sir, he can
have all the fan he wants out OF me.
The Argus, believe, Is particularly proud OF
the fact that il exists in the land where the press
is free and independent
A PaIIOsoPHER PrzzLED.-A correspondent Of
,bs .sDecfatOr writes: 4 story il going about
IEhieh Ought to be true, IL il is not, but have
Seen assured by a friend in holy orders that II
nav be depended on. Two persons-a material
istie lecturer and a city missionary-reeenty met
hsIors irst-elass audience to discuss the question
Of responsibility. The autonc philosopher went
IN 6rst. and Showed that the popular religious
notion of Judgment to come for deeds done IN the
bodv was inconsistent with any notion that can
be formed Of judicial righteousness. The hrst
r;ncuIe Of Justice is not 10 punish one person for
The fauIts Of another. But, said the lecturer
science has proved beyond doubt that at the end
of a few wears not particle in my body or brain
remains every atom has passed away, and the
ne,r matter forms n new man, who cannot be held
accountable for the conduct OF another. The
audience zeemed as enchanted as that at Belfast
Then arose the city missionary, whose wits mus
have been lively, and said 80 Ladies and Gentle
mep.-It is a matter Of regret to me that have e
engage in a discussion with man OF questiona
HE character with one, IN fact, who ls living viii
a woman to whom he is NOT married" UPros'
in wrath, again, the materialist- {" Sir, this Il
shameful, and 1 repudiate your insoient attack OF
INV character. l defy you to substantiate you
charge. / am married TO my wife twenty year
AGO. and we have lived happily together eve
sinee This is a mere attempt at eyedfnS the
E,rce Of NV argument" ''On the contrary,
renIied the city missionary, 80 re-afhrm NJ
charge You were never married 20 the person
Uith whom you are living. Twenty years agt
two other people may have gone to church, bear
;nv vour names, but there Is not one atom II
vo1r bodies remaining Of those which were theI
narried- IL follows inevitably that you are liv
in1 In eoucubinsge unless you will admit that yo'
are the same man who was married twenty year
since p The philosopher Was compelled, amios
great cheering, 20 allow that, somehow or other
credit or diseredit for past scons must Dc granse
even by Materialiss.