, 1875-06-13

to increasing the happiness Of nan
kind. 1t Was during summer that tho co
operative carpenters Clipped the egg. peepet
family Tor fe~ mouths. and died Of cold wea
ther and lawyer. Between June and Norom
ber como the communications filed with sug
cest1ons as to the government Of the univc.s,
and the organization of Sunday Lecture Socle
ties; ho" to suppress gambling and the grass
hoppers; how to remove poverty and drain th<
Chicago River, how to purify elections and re-
form Aldermen; how to stand everything On its
head and introduce the Millennium.
During this reformatory or scolding season,
there Are three things which it ia safe to abuse
three scapegoats which make yearly trlps into
tho wilderness laden with letters. They 2re
etreet-ca1s, theatres, and church fastigalR. OF
the first it ie needless to speak. The FIRST attoz
which the Chicago citizen writes to paper is on
that subject. There he dcshes his maiden pen,
aud there first he slgnB himself PRO Bono
rubhco." It is theatres that are dealt with
here-tha summer thextres. It Is grave ques-
t,on whether il is not \ mistake to Put them un-
der the head OF "amusements," s" but il is the
custom, aud custom sanctions worse Roleclsms
than that
Among the mob who Hrits communications for
Insertion - IN your va}uab}e paper, to which
haYo constantly subscribed for fifteen years" i"
the impression seems To prevail that tho theatres,
during tho hot monthB, arc run In the benefit OF
the fnn-mAkars, who are undoubtedly worthy
people. selling for couts articles which cost
them 4 third OF Z cent, but who do cot
require to be SO specially fostered and
projected. To keep cool during July and
August, It is necessary to bo is inert and
placid as possible. To get n q temper Or in
love, in debt or in crowd means diaturba nee
~. 3n3.~ AntA A1I 41A
spiration. To 50 to theatre involves laughing
or shifting. or yawnibg That means extra heat
discomfort and fan, or visit across TIC street
and glaka Of luear,
Aud here ls rhere tho tsmreranea people
growl. II a P. u. G. I. 0. g. T. wete. to eo to
q Bar-noon,," 10 would BE- 80 warm. 40 thirsty.
so uucomfo1 table that even tho presence Of three
Sisters Of nobekzh would hardly keep him from
which coos ths mouth and throat,
but takes Absutd Ihe1 ties with the kneea,
Ono must 60 to tho theatre. Frlends from
the country have to DO taton there. There must
be sacrtfc5s on the shrine Ut frteudship, costing
all the nay from 50 cents to $1.25; and then,
after tho yaWning is ovor, one must hear tho
friend sar ho~ much he enjoyed it, and how
line 1t was, aud then ono haA to marvel why pao-
ale can be such slmpletous. Women must go
lew stands over their eyebrows, little cataracss
.eady to fail. And men must fan, and women
must fret, and arms must ache aud temples
htob, and, il be takes drunk. she pouts and il
10 does not, she pouta, and there il wretchod-
1855 and mlecry.
II fellow ia reading up on the Black Hole Of
Calcutta, OF wants to get clear idea Of the
lit where the accuesed howl, arranged iu gallery
IF patquet according to their crimes, then Of
curse July theatre is the pl,ce for him or ii |
man is pestered By 4 sturdy and tenacious |
zoditor, and wants to get all tile lfe out Of him.
a
Minister wants to convince member OF bis flock !
hat theatre ia sinfuliv stupid place or il an |
Id stsger wants to convince hlmse OF the decay |
T the drama. a.-why, tlen, summer thoat1e 10
be plac TO 60
There is no particular reason why theatrical /
aanager should thus organize little Internal
egions, but one, sud that is, custom. The trad1-
ous Of the past environ them, aud they dare
OF overstep them If it we:e part Of tic COM
ION law OF the stage that manager should
ear top boots and plumed hat. thus would he
l~ays dreas Yet ~ the rieenlug zutuunn
eason comes On the theatrical people groan
ver tho dull business, remark that the stase
not appreciated as it was when ths9 wero
oung, .'and wopdez NJ tlR taste
int. people, mi, qhSy ;nE,.,,eS d9 1s3a MAKE f1ut
fa by saying not doing. They outb1d one au-
Lher in adyolt ltisemen:s and remain as uncon-
'rtabe IS ever. They promiEe GOODNESS, and
ley giro purgatory, aud verify they stall have
.eir reward. Hooey's announces that perfect
and cool draughts have been special
caaeuy declares that al the air Admitted to
! premises ia compelled to pass over ice, and in
stimony thereof \ lump OF ice is seen lying
ound id the malu hallway. McTicker's posters
y one ean catch cold In that theatre
1ring the most su11Cy DAYS; ono invariably
cd with cold fest during tho third. Bat one
1es, and one does not sueeze. and does not
tch cold. and docs not eyen get cbeery Little |
lver. Vanity of yhnitles, al aiye1tlsemeuts
e vanity.
What then CAD b 6one7 Tbe proprietor can-
me- upon Ills patrons. II will not do to ID: peo-
sit in their shirt seeves-other inducements
1at be held out. Tho frst step once taken in | {
Q Gud road to be proposed, the rest will be
81. theatrical vlsitor iB for the time beng
o guest OF the manager; he sits at bis hos
able bosrd and picks from tho d1sbo. {
: before him. To-Day is served up the balfle1
lain, tho uucouth countrfmah, The shrewd |
the simpering belle. the lackadR1sical
1ooi-girl the biunderiDg Glshman, or the
liter dish OF whimsical farce. It is the duty !
he necossity-of tho manager not merely to ! ,
ID hit gpesl. He must irnsate him MN sas !
made to cat alone, but IN warm weather to .
nE. Between tho acts-at least while it is | 4
rertsu Nhether vice OF virtue will triumph ! c
head OF the house should paas nrouud the / 0
L. LOVING cup aud invite his friends 70 pledge :
behold tho programme for the coming i
son: After the tableau1. the supers a
EtlT attlTed will carry around lemon O.
} in tin p&ils having tho McTicker q
t OF arms on the lids. The orchestra =
atrike up An appropriate air. chsste, tenn =
ate, and cool, and al will thiratily quad the =,
= stuff, the maunger standing at one corner ! 'e
,ho stage and hoNing bis responses. Il
here's tho beginning. Tie end OF the wedge | CT
inserted. What follows7 1t will bo an
need that Hoosy's lemonade has something
I more Of ire and vigor than that OF its rival;
{ it was made at the Sherman Houao and bor- o.
ed . oortain divine something which At
Is It potencr, which opcn4 the di
bles one to appreciate tho play. Then the =,
ach visitor two elasaes OF lager or one OF v
II custom laayes the South Side and turna to pz
West Nestshrd 70 ths Teutons eastward 4
Temperenz1erp. Then = more compicated | bf
am IL evolved. For the galleries, lemon e1
; for tho parquetto, beer; for the orchestra th
10. punches made Of vine from the Isle Of ! II
aioa for the prlva.e boxes, clarut CUP. ! de
nd desertion OF the galleries. Concentration ! II
he lower floor. Competition Of nowspapor ! in
es for D. H. tickets. Jtbilntion Of man ! ed
3. immensely OF receipts. Colossal profits, ! in
10 houses wall get fuddled. l. spirit Of een- uu
will be aronsed An auGience So
-seas oyet ls hot critical Fabuio,,a things tr,
takv place. Biaisdel will be ap1iaudod, and Mt
uw will have En- encore. There vii! bo cries Ml
he supers to REPEAT their 1naster}Y feat Of 8.
7Fi}f, t1a carmel tf4nera{ ta13.wili and ! a.,