Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-12-04
LOCAL sPLlNTERS.

year.
The girls all know that 1876 will
be leap year.
Now is the time to advertise your
holiday goods.
Keep an eye on your pig-pens and
chicken coops.
Eat celery if you are troubled with
nervousness.
No man is too poor to keep the
golden rule.
The cold weather makes the coal
merchant happy.
The crowning virtue in man is to
let his wife poke the fire.
The crows are going for the corn
which is yet in the fields.
If you think you have trouble or
suffering, step into an hospital.
This is the time for the annual
crop Of frozen fingers and toes.
The boys are now anticipating a
time when they can use their skates.
Congress will convene next Mon
day, and then we may expect lively
times.
The best education in the world
is that got by struggling to make a
living.
The position Of the new moon in
Dictated cold, according to weather
prophets.
Whooping cough now disturbs the
slumbers of the pater familias in the
rural districts.
This world sadly needs something
that will do the work of cardamon
| seeds without exciting suspicion.
The newest envelope for fashiona-
able people opens like book, and re-
quires a seal or monogram as big as
a hens egg.
Cumberland has got the smallpox
pretty well under control, and fur
Their increase of the disease is not an
ticipated.
The turkey trade has grown dull
since Thanksgiving. 1t has been
demonstrated that it doesn't pay to
ship turkeys to the Eastern markets.
Fashion has decreed that wedding
tours may be dispensed with. Young
married couples can enjoy their hon.
eymoon at home and still be fashion
able.
The boys would like to see the
mercury drop below the freezing
point, just to have a revivalin the
skate trade.
| Some of the Sunday schools have
appointed committees, and are az
ranging for the approaching Christ
mas festivities.
| A protracted meeting and revival
is now in progress in the M. f.
church at Gerardstown, under the
management of Rev. A. j. Gill, OF
| the Winchester district,
| Adams, of the Hagerstown Nemg,
talks about hitting the editor of the
Shippensburg Democrat on the nose
because he said Adams printed his
paper with apple-butter.
| Your advertisements are read af-.
ter your store is closed, and are OF
ten perused before it is opened in the
morning, by persons who want your
merchandise.
G.. w. Hoke has remover his stock
of goods to the room in Scheu's
Building, on Burke Street, one door
from the post-office, and is showing
off fine stock OF goods.
The first lesson business mar
should learn is the value of printers
ink. Let him be ignorant of that
and all the business knowledge Et
possesses will be little value to him
When a sweet little child skips VI
| carelesSly and rests its mOlasses
smeared fingers on your light cassi
. meres, it is well enough to remem
Der that of such is the Kingdom o.
|. | Heaven.
il The smallest qualification of a ma
levolent spirit yet recorded, is tina
lof man on Martin street, who, i
he gets worsted in aquarrel with his
wife, goes and splits at the canary
bird.
j The man who will saw cord Of
wood and use the proceeds to pay Z
store bill is worth more toa commu
nifty than dozen fellows who viii
lament about the hard times behinl
a baTr0Om stove.
IL This is the kind of weather thai
makes the dashing young man wisf
THAT instead Of spending a dollar ani
a half last summer for that massive
diamond pin, he had judiciously in
vested in a pair of winter drawers.
\ The following is said to be a never
! failing cure for earache: Take bill
of Gotten batting put upon it a pincl
of black pepper, gather it up an6
tie it, dip it in sweet oil and insert il
into the ear Put flannel bandagt
over the head to keep it warm. II
viii give imm ediate relief.
THE FEMALE COLLEGE.