The Morning herald., 1875-12-11
PERSONAL AND PERTINENT.

A paper covering IOr AOOTS mas ueel
patented. .'-s-- ~ a
Physical inability-when you can't take
6 castor oil. -r,,-.-...
e A business that is picking up-the rag
!, fgatherer's. -......-..
Words are women, deeds are men,
[Geo. Herbert.
Desecrating grayeyards is "Down
East amusement.
4 Tichborne has become quite "thin" in
prison. He mast look good deal like
his case.
| Mary cheese was locked up in the Jail
yesterday. This cheese is in a mighty
bad whey.
| John Supper was divorced from his wife
in Detroit last week. She prefers to 60
without her supper.
Two hundred dollars were paid for
American Girls shoes. And yet people
say these are hard times.
The first ingredient in conversation is
truth, the ne'.t good sense, the third good
humor, and the fourth wit.
They are still raisin' disturbance in
Massachusetts, about Rice pudding
woman on the Gubernatcrial taf.-Clicago
Times.
Search the river? Perhaps Mr.. Tweed
! has fallen into it. Do it at once. Do il
before the old chap has chance to be
bailed out.-Rochester Democrat.
Bears in Wisconsin are not going into
winter quarters, the Indians say. Thi
indicates mild season, hut makes it bad |
for stray calves and small boys.
1t is curious to note the old seamargins
of human thought; each subsiding century
reveals some new mystery: we build
where monsters used to hiie themselves.
-[Lopgfellow.
Here's sweetness The Louisiana sugar
crop this year will be Jaeger than any year
4ince 1861. 1t will come up to 100000
hogsheads, an increase of72, 1873 kogsheads
over the product Of 1874.
The papers are bringing out afresh the
points of Mr.. Evart's ancestry, to show
the peculiar fitness of his selection as the
Centennial orator. His grandfather,
Roger Sherman, was member of the
committee of the Continental Congress
which prepared the draft of the Declara.
tion of Independence. "A
The other evening, Detroiter and his
wife felt lonesome, they decided to go over I
and call on an acquaintance and pass an
hour away. "Ah Pm glad to see yolw
exclaimed the acquaintance as he :
opened the door. "Come right in and take
off your things. I've got one hundred
and sixty verses Of poem written, and ]
want to read them to You and see what
you think of my talent" They didn't 60
out anywhere next evening Detroit
Free Press
The German Emperor's recent visit to
Milan has given rise TO a curious lawsuit
Many of the boxes in La Scala Theatre
belong to private persons, who keep the
keys. Two renters, the Duke Scott ard
an advocate named Traveris, cordially de-
test the Germans, and in order to manifest
their displeasure they resolved to absent
themselves from the theatre. on the nigh,
that the Emperor went there, and to keep
their boxes empty, but the police broke
open the doors aud placed some Prussian
officers in the boxes, for doing which the
duke and the lawyers have instituted le-
gal proceedings.
1t was the night on which John Todd
make his great speech to the colored popu
lation on Munjoy Hill. Capt. John Nor
rill from time to time awoke the echoes
with his cannon. A man rushed no to
him and said, "For Gods sake don't fire
any MORE" "Why not ?" asked the aston
shed John. "There's dead person lying
in the next house." said he. "Well," said
John, ''if she's dead the noise won't hurt
her, and the country must be saved"
YES groaned the man, Il know that but
she's my mother-in-law, ard Pve heard
that guns will awake the dead.
The other day an absent-m;nded gentle
nan inadvertently entered the cabin of
erry boat smoking a cigar, "You can't
smoke here, sir exclaimed an irascible
"This is the ladies' cabin"
The gentleman paused, looked around
lim, and hastily retreated. Reaching the o
loor he turned around, and addressing the
,erson who had spoken to him, remarked
politely: II beg your pardon. / ought to
lave known that this was not the gentle r.
mans cabin when saw you here" The u
nti.smoEer failed to understand what his
elbow passengers We're laughing at. :
The DEATH in Paris, of Eugene schnei.
Ter, the French statesman, recalls a funny -
Incident of the Shah's visit to the French r
apital. When His Majesty had been |
my installed in his apartments his enter
ainers approached him with the inqnry vi
Is there anybody in Paris whom your
'laiesty would be pleased to have present
d ~ Yes " roared the lasclvious DO.
entate " Schneider bring Schneider" ~ ~
orthwith NJ. Schneider, who was then III III
resident Of the Corps Legisatif, was III
allied, and as he entered His Maiestv's
'resence the Shah exclaimed "Not tnat -
! -: !: 4