The Arizona sentinel., 1875-08-21
MISCELLANY.

them wrong end first into the
 mouth in the dark. It is good
 idea.-DGfa6Wry NelUS.
 A Kansas girl says that nothing
 makes her so mad as to have g
 grasshOpper crawl up and down
 her back just as her lover has come to the proposing point.-DetToi' Free Press.
 A merchant of Bloomfield, SonO- ma county, recently astOnished that placid burg by marrying a young girl in less than a week af- ter her elder sister had obtained a divorce from him. He is bound to stay in the family.
 An old bachelor geoIogist was boasting that every rock was as familiar to him as the alphabet. A lady declared that she knew a rock of which he was ignorant. 'Name it, madam" said he. "It's rock the cradle, sir," replied the lady.
 Four doctors tackled Johnnie Smith,
 They blistered and they bIed hm;
 With squills and anti-biliOus pills,
 And ipecac, they fed him;
 They stirred him up with calome,
 And tried to move his liver;
 But all in vain-his little soul
 Was waited OCT the river.
 -RtiJ0deliOhiG Led9er.
 Great excitement was caused in rich family in New York by the unaccountable disappearance of a gold snuff box, richly set with brilliants, and equal satisfaction when a young gentleman of six acknowledged that he had utilized it as a coffin, and buried it with his pet canary in the garden.
 A Virginia paper announces the marriage of Miss Jane Lemon to MT. Ebenezer Sweet; Whereupon somebody perpetrates the follow ing:
 How happy the extremes do meet
 In Jane and Ebenezer;
 She's no loEger sour but sweet,
 And he's a Lemon sgueeZer n'
 In street-car, the other day, woman noticed an old man gag ing at her very attentively. Dur ing a ride of a mile or more he kept his eyes fastened on her face, and he must at least have seen by her manner that she was annoyed, so he bent over and said: 'Ex- cuse me, madam, but I can't help looking at you. You put me in mind of my dead wife; her nose turned off sideways just exactly as yourn dOes."
 A western newspaper man ob- tained permission last week to occupy the honored chair of the Philadelphia Ledger obituary edi- tor for one day. His only poem was in one verse, and referred to the death of one of the respected burghers, who possessed a mouth like that of an alligator. It was beautiful, simple and appropriate, reading as follows:
 Stranger, tread lightly OCT his sod
 For if he gapes you're gone, by G-dr'
 How TO WRITE POLITICAL EDITORIALS. - When Bloss the political editor of the Cincinnati | Enquirer, becomes ''indisposed," the managing editor of the paper catches a spider, breaks it's legs, dips it in the ink, allows it to tra- | verse sheet of paper a few times, and then sends the "copy" to the news room, where it is speedily | translated into first-class Demo- cratic leader.
 A cOlOred philosopher thus un- burdened himself on one of Wo- mans weaknesses: "Jim, de men don't make such fools of dem- selves about women as de women do about men. If dey look de moon dey see man in it; and if dey hear a mouse nibbling, it's a man, and dey all look under de bed last thing at night to find a man. Why l nebber looks under my bed to find a wOman-dOes yOu?"
 A young man of Wilmington, N. C., having obtained a short leave of absence from hIS employ CT, remained away so long at a fashionable Summer resort that the employer telegraphed for him to return, or he would lose his place. "DOn't want the place; have a $2OO,OOO girl in love with me-" was the answer But he came back in a week and took a place at $80 month. He says that you can't most always tell about these girls.
 While stopping over night at a farm house, in Missouri, a travel Ter was astOnished to see his hos. tess walk up to her husband about every fifteen minutes and box his