The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-11-21
ANATOMICAL.
By NJ. QUAD.

.nr nerson who has read daily paper for
Tho LAST year car not have failed to notice now
often newspaper paragraphers hit at big ears,
hio feet cross-ey ed people, and at young men me,
wbo mart their hair in the center. Inc
womsn who wears No. 6 shoe or has q Dig
car il sure to be found out and paragrsphed'
and il has got TO that pitch where the puonc
ara asked to consider such persons almost N
the light Of criminals. ,: o
deem it necessary to give the pubic some
foctc which / have taken pains to collect
Tast winter Mrs. Parsons, of Wisconsin,
vho wears No. Z shoe and makes all the
dishes in the house rattle when she crosses
the floor. shot and killed two bears, having
neither aid nor encouragement from her nus
hand. Not single case can be cited wnere
a Wisconsin woman wearing NO. 8 shoe
ever killed q bear or came within mile ana
a half of being heroine. Let the newspaper
naraoraphers get over this fact if they can.
About the lst of September Mrs. Turner, q
widow ladv, living near Des Molnes, and haV-
inc ears large enough for a coon dog. was put
in Jail for stealing 500 pounds OF wool ohe
escaped from jail by slipping out OF aer ouS-
tie and crawling up chimney, ana was ID
Illinois when next heard OF. l challenge THESE
maligners to produce just one single case
where widow woman, with small PINK ears,
ever stole 500 pounds Of wool, carrying 1t, 5U
nounds at time, on her back, good mile.
T admit that small cared women have been
jailed. but show me case where one OF them
ever crawled up chimney, leaving a new
twenty shilling hustle on the floor.
Az TO Young men who part their hair IN the
center. let me narrate the case OF Timothy
Haddock. of Green Bay. He was asked to
call at the hotel and see lady on important
business, and when he complied ne was
ushered into room where seven OF MS nlne
wives sat with their backs to the wall Inc
seven greeted him as follows:
wretch"
CIVILIAN !"
"Rascal
"Scoundrel'"
"Oh, my!
"You thief"
Kill him
ne Iamiiy express his deiigircnlnsas,- ask ate,
ano taking the matter just as ooolly as :. boy
heaps up mud sweet-cake. And he got the
left town without seeing a policeman. Show
me case where man with his hair parted OF
the left side ever married seven women. They
sneak around with one poor wife apiece, and
many of them shake in their boots every time
| she raises her eyes.
like people with big feet, and was never
more panied in my life than at reading an
item the other day stating that Susan 8. An.
thony denied wearing No 9 shoes. 1t wasp't
over week ago that Tennessee maiden,
kicked by a COW while milking, rose up,
kicked back and killed the reckless animal.
There is something grand in the sight of a
big, broad foot going into the air as a woman
strikes an icy spot on the walk, and defy any
statistician in the land to show me female
with big foot whoisn't tender-hearted, kind,
and amiao!e.
Big ears indicate Inotherly good nature. No
wife with big ears ever poisoned her husband,
eloped, or brought any ones gray hairs in
sorrow to the grave. It's these small-eared
women who shake mp society. The young
man who parts his hair in the middle has a
lien on the philanthropic. He'd be mean
man who wouldn't see fool safe over cross
walk.