Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1875-07-19
TO CORRESPONDENTS.

for notices over four lines.
TO CORRESPONDENTS.
Happy Boy.-We cannot tell you anything
about the origin Of the horse fly.
Big IDjun.-Your story is not available.
Your hero is bald d-headcd man, and yet you
have the Indians seal him. The Incident is
too bald.
Shoemaker. Small feet are not sign of ars-
tocratc blood. Many Of the queens of Europe
wear od-fashioned No. 6's.
Texas. Yes, there are red nosed people who
are strcsy temperate; but, as general thIog,
1t will be we'll to look out Tor red noses
Question. good butter ought to keep
long time. But ln family were there are
may children 1t don't.
Arm -chair.-A boy who will deliberately
place an eight ounce tack in his grandfather 8
chair is wicked enough to burn the whole town.
Saleratus. You had better write to John S.
q. Abbott, the bistoriau." IF Pliny abused
his Wlte he never mentioned it, and most every
thing is mentioned by Pliuy.
Lena.-lt was very wrong for the young man
to promise to take you to the circus aud then
go off to the dog-fght and forget all about it;
but you cant trust human nature these days.
Septimus. do not know how long an ele-
phaDt can live without food. Buy one and try
the experiment
Red Cloud.--Ben Butler has not written any
dime novels that we know Of The rumor pro-
badly arose from the fact that he would make
good hero for one.
Boone.-We believe that Daniel Boone was
red-headed man, out historians differ, and it
would be difficult to 6nd the coroner who sat on
him.
Eva.-We have heard that Wisconsin hus.
bands stayed at home and did the washing and
let their wives 60 to the circus, but there's
good many untruths afoat about that State.
Information. n.-Ear-rngs wree worn great
many years ago--as far back as the palmy days
of Rome, but those ancient women didn't have
any dollar stores to run to-
lnqulrer.-We cannot tell you who first in
vented the practice of hanging people to lamp
posts. 1t was somc genius of the long ago, and
we agree with you that the practice is not prac-
tlced halt enough.
He WANTED WATER. The Boston Com
merclal Bulletin tells good story of verdant
one VINO was passenger 10 railroad express
train, and became thirsty.
."Where's that ere boy with the water can ?
he querled of his next neighbor
HE has gone forward to the baggage car.
suppose, was the reply.
agin ?'' 0'0
".Certainly,' said the other, "you have only
to rlog Tor him, and he nodded toward the bell
line that ran above their heads.
NO sooner said than done. Before apy one
could prevent 1t Rustic had seized the ne and
gwen II tremendous tug. The consequences
were at orce obvious; three shri whistles were
heard, half dozen brakemen ran to their posts
and the train came to a staodsti with sud
deuness that startled half the passengers With
astooishment and caused every man near a
window to hoist 1t and look out to see what was
the matter.
10 few minutes the conductor, red and ex-
cited, came foamng into the car to know who
had pulled the bell rope.
"Here, mister, this way; I'm the man,
shouted the offender, drawing all eyes upon
':Ycur said the conductor. what did you
Cos wanted some water"
Wanted some water.
Sartlp; wanted the water boy, and nv
pardDer here in the seat said Id better ring for
him, as We do at the hotel, au' so | yanked
the rope. Will be be along sooD2 An, by the
by,, wnat In thunder be you stoppin' for?''
Ihe shout Of laughter that greeted this hon.
est confession was too much for the conductor,
aod ne had to wait untl he got his train under
way before he explained the mysteries of his
oell-rope to bis verdant customer.
A SERIOUS CALLlNG.-"A certain gravity. !"
says DR.. John Hail, iu his Yale lectures on
preaching, lis expected, through fight hu-
man instinct, 10 ministers Not that the par
ucular attitude of the facial muscles is of apy
spiritual significance, one way or the other, but
men feel that, while We are handling grave and
most serious matters, we ought to be serious
DID you ever see the pilot take ship through
a perllous passage? He is grave. I have
seen the surgeons koife drawn round the
ilmo where an error of an inch would have
been terrible mistake He was grave
nave heard conscientious judge weigh,
ahd set out 10 the utmost fulness, the evil
oence ,n murder case, as earnestly bent on
putting everything fairly, as if his own life de-
pended on the issue. Any levity here would
the average of mankind, gravity will be look ed
Tor in us, who deal with matters of lite and
death, and speak for God "
POWER OF THE IMAGINATION. The Utica
herald tells the following story of an old lady
10 fhlladelphla, Jefferson county, who acqur-
ed the habit OF using morphia AFTER using
1t for rellet from the pains of tumor, no per-
suaslon could induce her to give up the poison
Tier family finally united in a deception, sub
s'ltuting carefully prepared potato starch 10
morphla bottles. At first she thought the sup
posed drug 40 inferior article, but her physi-
clan, who was 10 the secret, assured her that it
was all right, and she was satisfied. She con-
tluued to use the article for fifteen years, and
TO the day of her death, and could not do with
out 1t, never having learned the deception. At
one time when she was ill the physician gave
her Doyers powders, but she could not rest
after taking them until she took her starch