The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1875-02-04
1ai''ieR.
Sack for a thief--ransack.

The tax which presses nlost heaVlly
snschool- -boysTsyn-tax. fyf 80.
The m6uthSt that is always open The
mouth Of theMississippi Nv. III \l
When is literary work like smoke?
When it rises in volumes.
Geese having feathers should nor pre-
pare to shed them now.
Troubles are like dogs; the smaller
they are the more they annoy you.
Young folks grow most when in love.
It increases their sighs wonderly' tt,
y A good name will wear oit;I . bad one
may be turned a nickname lasts forever
The species most wanted Ito settle our
country's financial difficulties-Gold and
silver.
Pericles is dead. He was a Parisian
rhinoceros. Butler will soon be the last
representative of the species.
By an Irishman-Why is a storm,
when it's clearing up, like castigationH
Sure an amt it abating?
"The crude forefathers of the hamlet-1
are not6xnownI in Utah, but there are
often four rude mothers in fomily| /
The man who three years ago married
a Newport belle says he begins to real
ize that thing of beauty is jaw ior'
ever. t..-f ,i.., M
Mrs. Partington declares that she does
not wish to vote, as she fears she couldn't
stand the shock of the electrical fran
Chise.
They have new test for intoxication
over in Canada. When a man can pro-
nounce reciprocity" without tripping,
the police let him co. g., "
THERE'S a Connecticut ,widoTer who
declares thatanothiDg reminds HIM aof'
his poor, dear wife so much as to i've
within earshot of sawmill.
One by one the roses fade. 1t is now
boldly denied that men who wear long
hair are possessed of any more talent
than men who have it shipped close.
A poor Young man remarks that the
only advice he gets from capitalists is to
Give within his incomes" whereas, the
difficulty he experiences is to live with
cut an income. olGg g9aJ pi &
at. yPatrick's Church, in Hartford, Ct.,
the Rev. James Hughes, Vicar-General
of the Catholic Diocese, pastor, was de-
Stroyed by fire on Monday. The loss is
over $150,OO0.
The Georgia negro has no more faith
in hanks. He lays his money ont IN
store clothes and hair oil, and the news
of. a bahklsuspension, causes him tc ex-
claim: "'Bust away wild ye, but you can't
hurt desc lavendar pants"
A Canadian murderer wanted them to
put off the day Of execution, owing to
his being afflicted with the toothache;
but the sheriff said he'd got to 60 to mill
the next day, and he couldn't possibly
accommodate the prisoner ..0t..rsl
A little girl four years old created q
ripple by remarking to the teacher of
her Sunday school class: "Our dogs
dead. / bet the angels was scared when
they see him coming,up the walk He's
cross to strangers" j Il |
Tie exclamation Of an old lady on
hearing of the execution of man who
had once lived in the neighborhood was:
swell. l know'd hid come to the gallows
at last. for the knot in his handkerchief
was,always slipping round under bis left
SaFF J ! ! CVO
Mary Brady's experiment proved a
"dead" failure. In getting up rather late
the other morning, she utilized the coal
oil can to expedite breakfast, but she
was Instantly cremated and exited out of
life. Poor thingl but then she had a
nice funeral.
There was a small boy in Pawtucket;
He bought him an orange to suck it;
He had a long nose,
And as you may suppose,
Into the orange he stuck it.
When Chicago policeman goes behind
lumber pile and shoots three balls
through his hat, and runs up to head
quarters and tells about his adventure
with the Benders of Kansas, they raise
his nav on the spot. Merit is always re-
Warded in Chicago. ......
An old bachelor says: "When l re-
member all the girls I've met together, l
feel like rooster in the fall exposed to
every weather. feel like one who
treads alone some barn-yard all deserted
whose oats are fed, whose hens are dead,
or ali to market started"
nLowell the other day, a discour-
aged mill girl said to her boarding mouse
mistress, who was lamenting the fate of
a boarder who had eloped with grocery
keeper: "You keep us on bull beef at "a
aweek and then expect us to be con-
tented angels"
lad who borrowed dictionary to
read. returned after he got through, with
the remark: ut was very nice reading,
Int it somehow changed the subj Ct very
often" 1t was his sister that thought
the first ice cream she tasted was little
touched with the frost. il#, .U .
4 certain Jealous but ignorant negro
nreacher. in expounding to his flock as
fothe astonishing nature of miracles, got
= little confused in the matter. He said:
GMy beloved friends, the greatest of all
miracles was bout de loaves and fishes.
Dere was 5000 loaves. and 1000 fishes,
an' de- twelve 'postles had to eat dem all,
and de miracle is dey didn't bust"
aHow much is your stick candy?" in
o,,;red boy of a candy dealer on Tues
Sov "Six sticks for FIVE cents" "Six
S.;cks for five cents, ehP Now, lem'me
See Ua.s six sticks for five cents, five for
@ four cents, four for three cents, three for
two too cents, two for one cent, and one for
nothin'. I'll take one" and he walked
ont leaving the candy man in q state Of
bewilderment.
An Akron physician tells ofla little
Akron boy who came ;1so.6 70 nm Wbst SHq saiS, do
doctor y want ants some SePsT Psr1 mind just Is give Ve
( to me-" "Who sent you hegefn No. No.
~ f1tUQplfV IL can't