River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-02-19
They Couldn,t Trnde.


Keyser had lightning.rods placed upon
his barn three or four years ago but
during the last summer the building was
struck by lightning and burned When
he got the new barn done. man came
around with red wagon and wanted to
sell him set of Bolt Il Barnam's patent
lightning.rods.
II believe not" said Keyser, 81 had
rods on the barn at the time of the
II know" said the agent. IL know
you had, and very likely that was the
reason you were struck. Nothin's more
likely to attract lightnin' than worthless
rods"
"How do you know they were worth.
less 2"
why, | was driyin' by yer in the
spring, and ] seen them rods, and | says
to myself, that barn'll be struck some
time, but there's no use in tryin' to con.
vince Mr.. Keyser; so ! didn't call. /
know d it. because they had iron tips. A
rod with iron tips is no better'n clothes.
prop to ward off lightnin'."
"rhe man who sold them TO me said
they had platinum tips" remarked Key.
ser"
"Ah this is a wicked world, Mr.. Key
ser. You cant be too cautious. Some
Of these yer agents lie like gaS.meter.
It's awful, sir. They are weolly untrust-
worthy. Them rods was the most rdick-
lus sham ever see. They want worth
the labor it took to put 'em up. They
aant now, that's the honest truth"
"What kind do you offer r.
"Well, sir, I've got the only genuine
lightnin' rod that's made. It's construct.
ed on scientific principles. Prof Huxley
says it's sure to run off the electric fluid
every time. Twisted charcoal iron, glass
insulators, eight points on each rod, war
ranted solid platinum. We give writ
ten guarantee with each rod. Never had
house struck since we began to offer
this rod to the public. Positive fact
The lightnin'll play all around house
with one Of 'em and never touch il. A
thunder storm that'd tear the bowels out
Of the American continent would leave
your house as safe as a polar bear in the
middle of an iceberg. Shall | run you
one up 2"
81 don't know" said Keyser, mus.
ingly.
I'm put you up one cheap, and then
you'll have something reliable. Some.
thin there's no discount on"
"You say the old rod was a fraud =
"The deadliest fraud you ever heard
Of. IL hadn't an ounce of platinum With
in mile of it. The man that sold it
ought to be prosecuted, and the fellow
that put it up without insuators should
be shot. It's too bad the farmer should
be gouged in this sort Of way"
"And Bolt & Burnam's rod is not a
fraud o.
"a fraud Why, really, my dear sir,
just cast your eye over Prof. Huxley's
letter and these certificates, and remem.
Der that we give written GUARANTEE
positive protection, of course"
Just cast your eye over that, said
Keyser, handing him piece of paper.
swell, upon my word. This is indeed
somewhat, that is TO say, as il cit
looks-it looks little like one of our
own certificates"
"Just so. said Keyser. THAT old rod
was one Of Bolt q Buraam's. You sold
it to my son-in-law you gave this certi-
ficate you swore the points were plati-
mum, and your man put IL up"
"Then ! suppose we can't trade
swell, should think not, said Key
ser.
Whereupon the man mounted the red
wagon and moved on.--1fdr AdeLer.