Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1875-01-23
Miscellaneous.

need
Instead Of waiting fora chance, make
one.
Better run in old clothes than run in
debt.
A man sticks at nothing when he
tries to stab ghost.
A Chicago man has invented bar
tenders bell-punch.
When it comes to point lace, all wo-
men can see the point.
Speaking Of the round world much
can be said on both sides.
Forty Kentuckians rode two days to
kill fox worth sixty cents.
People who dance never pay the tid-
dler. 1t is those who get up the ball.
Postoffices were first established in
France in l464; in England in 1851; in
Germany in 1641.
A COW died in Springfield, Ohio, from
eating too many apples; which gave rise
to some trouble in cider
Now is good time to buy thermome-
ters. They are lower now than they
have been since last Spring.
Canadian wives, in addition to being
good cooks, can drive oxen, put up
stove pipes, husk corn, and split rails.
When a man can not drive well, he
makes up the deficiency of education in
that respect by severely pounding his
animals.
A Wisconsin man recently killed six
sku, KS III one day. After interviewing
the first one he became, reckless and so
kept on.
A Boston lady and gentleman have
played ten thousand games of cribbage
together, the lady being at last accounts
tive games ahead.
A Married lady, of st. Paul, MINI
has been in trance state for six weeks,
and her husband won't have doctor.
He says it seems so novel.
To write good love letter, you ought
to begin without knowing what you are
goiag to say and. to finish without know
ing what you have written.
An old lady, gazing with astonish-
mept upon an elephant, in menagerie,
asked the keeper: "What kind of beast
is that eating hay with his tail?'
The teachers of the UNCONVENTIONAL
schools in Leeds, England, have struck
against reduction in their fees from
four to three pence per week per scholar.
When an old barn and pig-sty burn
ed at Ashtabula, Ohio, the other day,
"the star-li heavens were made to quiz
yer above the leaping, roaring flames"
A Cairo man warns people not to
trust his wife, and she retorts by saying
that he'll 60 without clothes all summer
before she will take in washing to rig
him out again.
The Duluth woman who put the kerr
osene can on the stove hearth while she
went out to trade with peddler, is now
keeping house in barn, kindly loaned
for the occasion.
1t is generally believed in some Of the
counties of Michigan that men will do
more plotting and planning to rob hen
coop, than would be necessary to insure
a successful bank burglary.
An inebriate man walking along the
street, regarded the moon with sovereign
contempt "You needn't feel SO proud,
he said, '.you are full only once month
and ] am every night.
When Peoria youth goes to spark
be finds the old lady in one corner Of the
room, the old man in another, and dog
under the melodeon, and he is required
to speak up like an orator.
An Iowa man has invented ten-bar-
relied shotgun and the face OF a small
boy who didn't know it was loaded is
iairly radiant with the bideous leer of
satisfaction.
A mau who has been travelling in the
'.far West" says-but be probably mis-
represents the matter--that when an
Idaho girl is kissed she Indignantly ex-
claims, "Now put that right back where
you took II lromI'
Give us, says the New Hampshire
Workingman's Aduocate, the man
with two brown hands smut on his nose
and sweat on his forehead. All right;
sent him last night; alsoa woman with
along chin and wart ON her nose to
keep him happy.-DetroN Free
Press.
A student was reprimanded by the
Professor for his lateness at morning
prayers, and excused himself on the plea
that the prayers took place too late.
"How," said the Professor, sis six o'clock
too lates" "Yes, sir" replied the student
'If you had them about four could at