The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1875-04-14

- .s1es {, :s-, ~ ssk,s.,
A patient 'waiter-a young aSetcf.
High living for hard times rooms
in the attic. e
The latest thing in front door locks;
night keys. ,.ss,s sss
: Men who never do wrong seldom
do anything. ~
1t is estimated that etery padper.
in San Aptonia, Texas, owns abont;
seven dogs. -
Correctly don't seem ike a. hard
word; yet they all 60. down because
they can't spelt correctly.
Party ties-those little white cho.
kers worn by blonde gentlemen who
part their hair in the middle.
Rhode Island bristles with spelling
matches. Some of tho dictionary
words reach clear across the State. z
Quincy, Illinois, has the latest case
of Enocb Arden; but the married
widow had collected the life insurance,
money, and a compromise will DO
effected on easy terms. I.
London is ahead. 1t has more
Jews than Palestine. more Scotchmen
than Edinburg, more Irish than Dub
lin, more Catholics than Rome, and
more thieves than Chicago
1t is said that nothing will cure q
poets affection for his idol sooner
than to catch her at the dinner table
excavating the kernel of hickory.
nut with hair pin.
A widow was weeping bitterly of
the loss of her husband, and the par
son tried to console her. "No, nc"
said she; "let me have my cry ont,
and then Isbau't care anything more
about it,"
Rev. J. G. Hilden, the minister: re-
Gently called to the pastorate of the
Baptist Church in Greenville, is ex:
pected to arrive here by<Sunday, 18th
inst.
There wero 1880 bales of cotton
shipped from Anderson since the first
of September, 1874, to the first of
April, 1875. .
A mystery-how the girls can keep
away from the Emporium Of Fashion.
The mystery solved-they can't.
An economical farmers daughter in
Massachusetts put off her wedding
day because eggs had gone up 10 for
ty cents a dozen, and it would. take
two dozen for the wedding cakes and
pudding.
A prominene Detroit Univ ersalist,
some months ago, married red-head-
ed widow with four children, and last
week remarked 10 a friend: ~ was
blind when T believed there is no
hell. / see now"
A countryman recently visited the
No. 8 engine house, and set his watch
by the steam guage of the engine
which measured twenty pound Of
steam Cincinaoi Saturday Night
Alabama BARRIERS have fine feel.
ing. One tried to shoot himself tho
other day because o customer asked
him why be didn't use crow-bar to
shave with. He couldn't bar TO be
talked 10 in that way.
One of the theatrical critics hav-
ing spoken of Emily SoIdene as "the
GordIan shape of dazzling hue" the
Providence Press says awe suppose be
means to convey the idea that she's
knolty as we'll as nice"
Nevada brides won't stand. much
foolishness at q wedding. Recently
on them while going up to Of he
aisle of the church stopped short and
kicked all the skin off the shins Of a
groomsman who trod'on her trail.
Yesterday some meddlesome person
lnterfcred with Dennis Slattery's
attempt TO drown himself by leaping
over Brickley's and North Wharves.
Well even ,corners must have. their
enemies.-St. Johns Nv. b. Tribune.
Edgar Poe said "To villify great
man is the readest way in which a
little man can himself reattain great
ness. Tie crab might never have be-
come constellation. but for the cour,
age it evinced in nibbling Hercules
on the heel"
When q common Japanese goes in
to the presence Of Oh. .ofGce.h holder he
must say: "Great and distinguished
child of the SUP, 'deign to put your
foot upon my neck" There's some
pleasure in holding an Office in that
country.
A paper in Southern Illinois re-
grets that it went to press zone day
Too early to record the death Of. John
Bates" This is not quite as cool
as the paper which said :.."Just;as we
arc going 10 press, John Smith is be-
ing run over by the cars.
We learn that Rev. Robert King,
of Anderson County, met with a Sc
we're accident last week, which threat
ems his life. He was thrown from q
wagon, and fell on his head and.
shoulder, thereby sustaining serious
injuries.
The Grand Jury of Anderson in
their Presenlmcnt to the Court last
week say: ga committee Of our body
visited The Poor House, and it is our
unfortunate and humiliating duty to
state that the home of our helpless
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