The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1875-10-05
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A-veilsabk Wace wom.s x6cs:
Abraham was the first sick man. He
had Hagar -in-tae-wildernezs.---=-z
To frequenters ST halls.Neyss. .fRip1s
the evening with q reel.
What does the grocer do with oil tho
things before he sells them2 Gives
them weigh. .sssf'.l.sa E1esa Il
Where ten men viii .cheerfnlly 1aY
down their Lives fog 4 1qniAn dn{3 -
The fellow that asked. for q loek..Qf
his girls hair was informed that it costs
money, hair dces." iai iis as5Thhk-NA
At watering places they call the
youths who are old enough to dance bdt
too young to marry 'truhdle.bed trash
People who carry chewing gum and
postage stamps loose in their pockets do
not complain Of lack Of business.
"Tiis,n said a.boySwhile being troun0
ced By his fond papa, SIS very like 4
whale"
The way fora desoIase old bachelor
to secure better aaartsri lii. fbfkake a
"better-half."
"Any letter for Mike HowS2" asked
an individual of q clerkAt q post Office
window. "No letters for any hody's.
cow" was the re;arhaans~ers
"Sir," said an old Judge TOT 8 sSoung
lawyer, "you would do well TO pluck
some of the feathers from the wings Of
your imaginasioa and stick them in the
tail of your judgment" .r,.A
An Iowa farmer cut open an soli hor-
nets nest, just to examine the inside ar
lrangement He saysshe thinks he will
be able to see his barn In about two
weeks.
A Milwaukee man made three 1dsdc.
cesstul attempts to blow his sbrdins out.
and then his wife told him: ..Don't try
it again John !. you haven't got alys2A
He goes about now saying that he owes,
his life to that woman. -. ~
One Of the late zephyrs in. Minnesota.
is reported to have blown two sheep into
the top of Q tree mile away from their
grazing place. The rest or the hock
had presence CT mind enough to hold
on to the grass by heirlteeth.
When man goes to quitting party
about tea time, and sits down ON bali
Of wicking with long darniEe needle
in it, he will think of more things con-
nected with darning in minute than he
can mention in two hours.
A Nashua man sang, aDon't be angry
with me, darling" while he laruped his
wife with stirup strap. But she got
the bulge on him. and stood on his
stomach, while she strewd his hy-
lperion curls about the kitchen floor,
and warbled, while she twined her lily
fingers in his auburn locks, Darling
lyou are growing bald" tftysr
| That was too provoking! A Missouri
murderer fell sick one day before the
hour fixed for his execution and the
physician said it would cause his death
to move him. Some persons who came
ten miles to witness the hanging Ecere.
Imony, and brought their dinners along,
were avfully disappointed, and sugges-
ted lynching the physician. aVt
\ A PHILADELPHIA milliner .anprautica
/ went to visit her mother in the country
last Sunday, and when that worthy mat-
ron beheld her child she exclaimed -
s.Isabel Maria Stephens, what on Affth'
4 do you mean coming out in broad days
light with your gown all kajummuxed
up in heap behind ye p And 'haiIt ye
got any stockings all of oneucolor, thse
We have to wear them zebrasplorea
things2 Thought yes was goin' to be q
miliinera Sh'd think ye'd married lat1t-
Der and was playin,s up. siguhoasd for
him. Did I ever think one Of my girls
would come to this ]"
Last evening q man standing id ffSAf
lof q IGriswold-street barber shop swag
seen to feel his face and haard to s9lilpc
tquize: "Yes, l ought to be shaved
! They charge ten cents forI shAving, ard
g ten cents buys two glasses Of lager. !
can't say that getting shaved helps the
constitution any, but doctors recon-
lmend lager as q healthy tonic Fhele-
l fore it is my duty to myself. to invest
= ,tmy money where it will do tie most
> good, and here goes for lager. ."-Ds:
Q troit Free Press nelsidulis yl34s
II The work of revision Of the New
Testament is progressing satisfactorily.
The Four Gospels have been completely
revised, except stwo points in dispats
yet to be decided. The Acts and smep
Epistles have been revised once, aud
Unjust undergo q, second fexision6 The
: tEpistles pf Paul come nexk and Mil
: take long time, The reyiaers, Who
: number twenty, meet for d week 6nce q
month during ten months ID the year 4
'stThey have been thus engaged Eve ys4s,
e and their work will tske them Eve years
J longer. sfaeesi itS1..''aesH 9aI IA
1t is generally thought that Edwsfd
J, Rufin, Of Virginia, fired the 6ret gun u
!. Fort Sumter. The Rev. John Douglas,
: lof Steele Creek, tells the S9utherp,H Homs
). THAT this Is mistake. He was residing
lat that time on James Island, and hsaife
9 the first gun. 1t was~ fired by Captsir
j George james from alIittle sand battefS
J. Ion James Island He fCaptain james
was killed afterward at Gettysburg.i The
second gun was fired by ieuts .Wsd6
: Hampton Gibbs, also from James IA
y Hand Tie third gun was fred BY Nj,
"a Rufin, from Morris Island. The fouttt
], lgun was from Sullivan's Island, and ID,
= = fifth was from the Iron Battery.
a An eminent lawyer of Boston tsD
the following joke: A dashily -drssse
r.. young sprig entered Ben Buffers otHc'
and was requested! by benjamin to- b
b. seated. Tue request was complied will
~. and the young man was asked to sta
ID his business. "Well, Mr.. B, Whs
70 would be the first thing for me to do
- order to learn the profession 2" Be-
~ jamin fixed his weather eye upon q
nobbvidressed young man, and surveyS
him from his fashy necktie to hishieh
up polished boots, and exclaimed: .Tl
nag first thing you had better do would
I to 60 and roll in barn-yard.' "A
81 answer csme as quick as the suggestio
RID in the following terse languages ''If
ng should come and study two years,
II