Ellsworth American., 1875-11-18
Pickings and Steallngs.

The stove was cold and the kettle wouldn't
boil,
So she tilted the can and poured on little oil
Gone TO meet the man who blew out the gas.
Three Denmark men got into fight
over 50 sweet a thing as honey. One man
had his hand broken aud one had his head
cut open.
The London Advertiser says that
Saria man bet ten dollars that he could
ride the fv-weel of a saw-mll. and as his
widow paid the be-, she remarked: "Wil-
liam was Il Kind husband, but he did not
know much about hy-whecls."
Il never sot my mind to writin' poetry
till ;wu years ago" said a young ruralist.
fitting back In "A grocery chair; 'but the
minute took 10 goin' with that johnson
girl, by gosh. couldn't help it
Brigham Young says that a woman
who can't make dress out OF eleven yards
OF cloth will find Heavens gate too narrow
/ for her to enter. However. Drtroi, wo-
men will use from eighteen to twenty
/ eight yards, and run the risk of squeezing
! through the gate or OF finding a ladder to
{ 20 over the walls.
! Even iu the saloons opinions upon
! grave subjects expressed forcibly. \ gem
! tleman slightly under the influence OF the
( Intoxicating bowl gave evidence OF this
/ tact, night or two ago. "Whiskey, zdr,
! said he. '.hic-briyhtens the interlect' IL
( ought To be introduced into the public
schools. zur."
4 FAIR GAME. During the war Geor-
gan started 10 Marietta with some chick
ems for sale. He met squad OF soldiers,
aud they bought all his chickens but one
I rooster. He insisted that they should take
HIM. but they were out Of money. ard
! couldn't buy.
The old man hated to 90 on to town with
only one chicken, and was greatly puzzled
about it.
At last one OF the soldiers said.
"Old man, II. play you game OF seven
up Tor him"
Agreed" SAYS the old man.
They played long and spirited game.
At last the soldier wen. The old man
( wruns II" roo>ter's neck. and tossed him
AZ the soldiers feet aud mounted his swab-
tailed pony and starred home. Ancr get
ling some TWO hundred yards he suddenly
stopped. turned round aud rode back aud
said:
You PLAYED fair game, aud won the
rooster fairly, but Ia like TO know what In
thunder you pat up against that rooster.
NOT SATI>FIEp.-At an autiou on Bates
street tie other dav the auctiouccr put up
NlUUTu goose. Ca4itu II All cage. Ah'l
sold it Ia a color,d man FOR sixty cents.
The buyer discovered the imposition
pretty soon aud wanted his money refund
cd The auctiouecr refused To comply,
and the African went to the Central station
with his complaint
III. small matter. ard | wouldn't
make a iu>, about It" said the captain.
Nell. L. gwinc to Taisc dc hi.hcs,
Lind % fuss exclaimed the negro. III
dat ,nau Kin sell me "A goose :or an eagle
au' doan do muffin bout it,how long aior,
he'll -r,l some oddrr pussun ,shin' nn
clirr an call il a toothbrush, want foT
~frai.htc>t KIDD OF warrant sab, q,
>WlUd.catIun,
CNCuMFOErABLY HoNE>r.--As one oi
the dozen Old " omen who drive milk cart.
around Detroit was crossing the Campus
Mariius rrcently. a chap wearing lavender
pautaloous and bright blue necklie, mo-
( Toned her Ia stop. aLd then approached
her aud inquired:
DO you put water IN your milk ::
Yes. -if.' was her prompt reply.
All. ma. 80 You own night up, do youf'
/ De asked.
Yes. SIR
Her prompt reply rather staggered him
but after some hesitation he asked
And What makes you do it!'
Because it, much healthier for calve,
when mixed half-and-half," she rrtorted
She waited for him - ask another ques-
ton. but he couldn't think of any.