Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-10-22

Discoursing sweet mlsic-blos
your own trumpet.
A number seven hat will just fit
Louis mosquito bite. III
The new German greenbacks are e,
ed Reischskaisenscheine they are D
nounced good.
A harder subject to deal with than -
an old deck of cards, is man who dol
advertise.
Young ladies profess to be drcadfu'
afraid of a pistol, and yet they 90 Z
want it to go off. <g
An American youth doesn't sd 81
much money for hair oil and shoet ~ \
ing until he falls in love. " N
An Indian maiden, who wears !.
pants and chews tobacco, goes by
pretty name of Failing Water
A clergyman at Pittfeld, Conn. has d
clined to marry couple because t.
groom couldn't repeat the Lords prayt
Printers pi is very indigcstib1e, al
the one that makes it would rather 8 !
some one else dispose of it than~mmSSf =
''Any letters for Mike Howe." az
an individual of clerk at Post OH[
window. '"No letters for anybody =
COW
She received poem ending: My hea
turns over unto thee and question:
thou missest me-" She read the ci0ss |
lines, and said she did.
fruit speculation" is the latest AS.s
Returning to that misfortune which cor
pels US TO work for living.
Jason Welch, of Iowa, got mad an
stopped his newspaper, and because tt
withdrawal of his patronage didn't kill Il
paper he went and killed himself
When you observe a lady drop lr
in the street and not stoo
to pick it up, the chances are ten to OF
that she hasn't got her stoop-over DIRE
on.
The papers continue to show that
young man can afford TO marry, and pei
haps that's the reason all the rich oil
widowers are carrying off young girls.
We always record with regret any il
stance of a mans striking his sister-n
law. Its cruel intimation to his wife
mother that he'll never marry into tbs
family again.
"John, wish you'd close the door,
said an irritable father to his son; ''you
mother must be scolding somebody at th
other end of the hall, there's draft from
that quarter"
The Christian World declares that MI
ternal love in woman is the most col
tracted of the social affections, is shared i
by all the higher animals, and has n
title in itself to the name Of virtue
An Englishman is trying to find cut
you know, why the double bass viol play
er of an orchestra is always baldheaded
Perhaps it is because the leading violii
takes the ar
Father Imhotf, of Richmond Ind, ha.
just lived out his hundredth year 1t i
hoped, by his friends, he will live to pack
his carpet-bag next year, and say to thu
public "Imhoff for the Centennial"
An English correspondent says tina
Lady Bulwer, who is said to inspire many
Of the poems of her husband, "Owen Mer
edith" has violet eyes with black lashes
and an expression of almost childish in
nocence.
Miss Susan Augusta Fenimore Coopel
laughter of the novelist. is devot;ng he,
life to the support and training OF little
boys and girls, the orphanagt
being situated on the Otsego Lake, neal
Jooperstown n. Y,
When a man goes to quilting party
.bout tea time and sits down on ball OF
vicking with long darning needle in il,
lie will think of more things connected
With darning in minute than he can men
ion in two hours
The grass -widower has his revenge
when the lady of the house returns and
'emarks with nervous animation: III
will take three months of hard work to
,et this distracted house in order again.
,een havin' half dozen picnics here,
leys"
A man who was sentenced to be hung
vas visited by his wife who said: My
lear, would you like the children to see
Tou executed?" No" replied he That's.
ust like you," said she; you never
wanted the children to have any enjoy.
nent."
A young lady inquiries what will be the
prominent fashion in voting dresses when
The country is blessed with equal suffrage.
She refers mostly undoubtedly, to the
Urgent necessity of vest-pockets on
hose occasions but perhaps pantaloons
pockets will do pretty we'll
A Jamaica man who has managed to
get rid OF two nervous wives advertises
or another helpmeet, and announces the
quality of female he requires: "Wanted-t
4 woman with sense enough to stand
still and not howl when grassboppers
S crawling up her leg"
Woman's revenge if she dies for it,
As the bride got out of the carriage shef
caught her veil and tore it, and the bride-i
groom was ill-natured about it.
Then when the functionary said: "Willi
you have this man." etc., she SAID No
ma that was the end of that marriage.
A charm doctor recently restored the
speech of n Tennessee woman who had.
been dumb for seven years, and the last
seen of him he was sitting on rail fenceA
picking the buck-shot out of his head, L
while the infuriated husband was hus-
ling towards home to reload his gun.
A Detroit man who wanted wife
right away" got one by advertising. i
Two days after the wedding ceremony
ne was observed to be walking rights
away" from his home, and the neighborss
who saw him say that his left ear was set
back two inches, and that he had no hair
to speak of on the top of his head.
Mrs. Milliss was asked the other day
how she managed to get along SO nicely
with MIR. Milliss, and frankly replied: 8
20, feed him WELL When woman
her happiness for little while
depends upon her husbands heart; alters
,hat it's pretty much according to the state
of his stomach"
A young Frenchwoman in San Francis.
20 is undergoing semi-occasional arrests
md penalties for wearing bifurcated me-
her garments--not in emulation of Joan
If Arc or Mrs Dr. Walker, but in order
o pursue ker business of frog-catchlng
n ponds and marshes, where, she re- :
marks petticoats are wade and found
He was smoking cigar on Market