Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1875-08-24
HUN 0 RoUs.
The Boy at the Soda Fountain.
Startliag Tale aat he Told to a Poor Old
LADY sel.o. sgas Tht:rsty.

de was T1nslng the glasses when the old
lady entered the store. Il was hot weather,
and the soda fountain looked so tempting that
she conquered her ayarice and walked over
and told the boy that she would take a glass
''DO you wish for fly in it ?" he inquired
In n whisper.
GA fly grashus, nor sto replied, look
of disgust on her face.
"Just as you say, madam" he went on as
he drew some lemon syrup. "People are SO
different in tastes, you know. Some object to
flies and some don't. I'll mix some pineap-
pie syrup with this lemon, and now will you
have great deal of gas and little water, or
great deal of water and little gas 2"
"I'm purity thirsty" she said.
"Well, then you want more water than gas,
and there won't be So much danger of an ex-
plosion."
"ExplOsion 2" she queried.
"That was the word, madam. We have
had but few such accidents here this Summer,
and truly hope that.we may have no more"
"Does soda water blow up folks ?"
"That depends on the state of their health
Some people could stand here and drink all
day, wkile others might get the glass tipped
up this way, and boom! they'd go"
"Bust 2"
"Yes'm-fy into thousand pieces. You
Fever saw human being explode, did you 2"
"Mercy, MOI"
"Well, you don't have the least warning.
They may be laughing or talking, and all at
once the store is filed with false hair, mono>
gram garters, bustles, corsets, feet, teeth, and
rolled plate jewelry. 1t makes great muss
around here, and if We hadn't three of the
smartest negroes in town to pick up and sweep
ont, we'd have to shut up the store for whole
afternoon after an explosion"
He stood with the glass in his hand agita>
ting the syrup and waiting, and she said
81 didn't suppose it was dangerous stuff"
ftWell, as told you, it depends on the
state of the system. If your liver is torpid
and your digestion impaired, one glass of soda
water would blow you higher than Gilderoy's
kite, and the coroner would be lucky to find
As much as your spectacles to hold an inquest
on. IF your system is all right, you might
drink hundred glasses and feel no disas>
trous effect. Now, then, you'll have good
deal of water and but little gas, eh p
She made a deprecatory motion and asked:
"How's the stuff made? 2"
''Well. I can't go on and explain all the
process. There's marble dust, acid, gas, sugar.
coated pills, giant powder, cologne water and
kerosene all mixed together and then distilled.
The distilled liquid is then placed in retort,
and the gas forces it up separate pipes"
"Rerosene and pills !" she gasped.
t'That's what said, madam. You look
innocent and honest, and hope you won't
say anything about it. tend this fountain
Ia order to support widowed mother and
SSTeu fatherless children. If.you should say
anything I'd be discharged, aud if were dis
charged I should commit suicide. You'll
have plenty of water, Ell 2"
''NO, sir, I WON'T" she replied. EDO you
suppose I'd drink acids and kerosene 2"
"NOt in the crude state, madam, but this
process"
81 don't care for .ho process ~ she snap
ped; 81 wouldn't touch the stuff !"
"It is mild beverage, madam, aud the
doc"
"wen. I don't want any. When go to
swallering tar aud lard aud kerosene you'll
know it! s'posen drank some and ez>
ploded !"
"Don't mention it y' he whispered, .Don't
speak of it !"
"Pm sorry for you, young may, but there's
. constable living right in sight of our house,
and think III"
"You'n drive me to suicides grave, you
mean ~
She lowered her specsacles, took long
look at him, and went out without replying
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