Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-06-04

Il
came out with column advertisement in
each of the daily papers, reading: "Xen-
| ophonl Xenophonl Now ready, the Ken
/ ophon hoop-skirt, worn by all the Euro
/ pean nobility. The Xenophon for ele-
| gance, grace and comfort surpasses all
its competitors. They say that the
wrath of the green-grocer--he turned
| green from rage-as he saw how the
| grist has been diverted from his own
mill was something fearful to contem-
| plate. s
We have been led into making the fore
| going cursory remarks from contemplate
ing notable phase in the life of a
thorough going, full-blooded advertiser.
| Which his name is Bennett, dealer in
coal in the bustling and energetic town
OF Fall River, in the commonwealth of
/ Massachusetts. He has full-orbed
genius for advertising, has Bennett, and
is never so happy as when concocting the
| seductive card or the irresistible circular
whose end is to induce discriminating
| public-cash customers preferred-to
| buy the Bennett coal and to refuse ell
other. You shall read his advertise
ments in prose and rhyme and blank
verse, not alone in the Fall River dailies
| and semi-weeklies and tri-weeklies and
weeklies and monthlies and quarterlies;
but to avail himself of these avenues is
not for him to leave others untried.
i Hence, on all the fences that line all the
roads that lead to Fall River; dMall the
dead and morlbund walls in Fall River;
and on no end of bill-boards and al
manacs and calendars and pocket
states and barometers and fans and fire
| alarm cards appear, mostly in "conster-
nation" type, the name and occupation of
! Bennett. To him (Lackawanna coal a
speciality the world is still in the car
| boniferous age, and the testimony of the
rocks within a circuit of 100 miles
around Fall River would seem to con-
| firm him in his belief. They all bear the
| Endorsement of coal"--in fact of Ben
nett's coal-designed for the Fall River
market. Tourists who pass through
Fall River on their way to or from New
port report that the train.boys, in place
of the customary dried-apple turnover,
or dime novel, or prize package, hand
passengers delicate white boxes begirt
with white satin ribbons. These boxes
look for all the world like the current
receptacles for squares of regulation
wedding-cake, but the curious way
faring man who loosens one of the
ribbons and raises one of the delicate
white covers finds for his pains fine
specimen of Lackawanna coal In compa-
ny with uniquely printed card calling
| attention to the unusual facilities" and
all that sort of thing possessed by Ben
nett, coal-dealer, Fall River. He gives
free stereopticon exhibitions, Bennett
| does, to the people of Fall River. They
are delighted to call him pet names. The
| <~fa a1, rf@,,, % nv
| ranged so as to have the esthetical and
| the practical alternate-nOw picture
and now text. Thus: 1st. Sistine Ma
donna. Cd. Buy your coal at Benefits.
3D.. Palmer's Angel at the Sepulchre.
4th. Benefits the place for coal. 9th.
| Signing of the Death-warrant of Lady
Jane Grey. 9Th Coal for the million at
Benefits 7th. The Dying Gladiator.
Sth. Ask your grocer for Benefits coal.
9th The Tower of London. 10th. Ben
nett, just around the corner, keeps a
stock of Lackawanna, etc.. etc. One
evening not long since, soon after the
exhibition commenced a committee OF
leading citizens sought out Bennett
| They found him in the center of the
crowd around the stereOpticon, dlstribu-
ing circulars, and after shaking him
| warmly by the hand, and rendering him
Fall Rivers appreciation of his efforts to
please her children, begged leave to sug-
gest how his show could be improved
Bennett replied that if he knew his own
heart he studied to please, and he would
! be grateful to his fellow citizens for any
little suggestion that might occur to
them calculated to render the stereopti-
con more entertaining. On which the
chairman of the committee said-not,
| indeed, without some hesitation: "Sup-
pose you skip every other number on the
programme" Bennett rejoined that that
would suit him to a shade, and the con-
sequence was that for the rest of that
evening ne gave the crowd "Buy your
coal of Bennett" without the interven-
tion of pictures that tend to distract the
mind.
But Homer used sometimes to be
caught mid, mid, nodding, and Gen. Nc
Clellan occasionally failed TO satisfy the
exacting demands of his countrymen,
and BeAnett, of Fall River, has over
leaped, ultra-advertised himself. Thurs
! day last found him sitting in his Office
| his coal office-moody of coultenance
/ and restless of limb. And Wien his
booz-keeper inquired of his chief what
! it was allied him, Bennett replied: I'm
| suffering Alexandrine pangs-I vainly
sigh for new phases of advertising to
conquer" Presently he arose, took up
some of his latest cards-cards of mann
moth proportions, done in white and
blue upon blood-red background-and
| sauntered out, not knowing whittier he
was going. After walking in an aimless
way for few blocks he noticed that
| just ahead of him hearse was standing
in the street, followed hard after by a
row of carriages. Quick to conceive
and quick to act is Bennett, OF Fall
River. Promptly he stepped up to the
| driver of the ebon vehicle and inquired,
at the same time ostentatiously display
/ ing crisp greenback, if he would make
any objection to having a few cards
tackled just behind his box. The driver
for answer put the greenback far down
| into deep inside pocket of his vest,
and answered. go ahead for all of
me-" Bennett thereupon produced a
| small hammer and some tacks and went
ahead for all of him. Before the friends
and acquaintance on the sidewalk,
| who were waiting for the funeral pro-
cession to start, were aware of his
intentions, the invitation, "Buy your
coal at Benefits" glared at them from
/ three several cards displayed from the
| side and rear of the hearse. Bennett, OF
Fall River, returned to his office reas-
sured man, and ioyously unbosomed
himself to his book-keeper. never
yot such a chance BEFORE" he began,
aand / never improved one better. You
see these hearses 90 so slow through
town that people can't help but read
those cards showing conspicuously on
| the black surface I'm only sorry
/ didn't ask the driver who seemed an ac-
commodating fellow, to take circuitous
route. However," AT this abrupt
i ;+ =: liz 5;,oo,,ro. Ronnett of Fall