Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-04-16

to deal, under every possible variation il
Easter, with the concurrence Of more thar
one Office OF the same day."
1t is mentioned by our authority that " il
England the first bona fde attempt at news
paper work was attempted in 1912, wher
the outbreak of the great civil war caused ar
unusual demand to be made for news, and
suggested to bookseller and pamphleteel
the idea of printing weekly newspaper
from the Venetian gazettes, which used tC
circulate in manuscript. After one or tv {
pr iminary attempts he acquired sufficient
co .idence in his publication to issue" long
advertisement but, like most innovations,
his 60 attempt met with an indifferent recep-
ton, and was greeted in the literary world
with a shower of inyectiye.
What is generally supposed to be, but is not,
the first authenticated advertisement in Eng
land, appeared in the Mercurirs Politicus for
January, 1862, and runs thus Irenodia
Gratulatoria, an IIeroick Poem being a
congratulatory panegyrick for my Lord
Generals late return. summing up his sue
cesses in an exquisite manner. To be sold by
John Holden, in the New Exchange. London.
Printed by Tho. Newconrt, 1862. F."
When we reach the eighteenth century it
is '' apparent that advertising has become
recognized as 4 means OF communication not
only for the convenience of trade, but for
political, love making, fortune hunting,
swindling, and the thossand-and-one other
purposes which are always ready to assert
when themselves in a large community; and
We arrive at the end OF the eighteenth and
the commencement of the present century,
we observe that matters were very nearly as
we find them now.
OF curious and eccentric advertisements,
so much has been written at different times
in different papers, that the appetite of the
public Is likely to he little cloyed. Still ii
few specimens NAV he tolerated. One smiles
to see a reward offered for restoration of a
keyle,s lady's gold watch or green lady's
umbrella but, after all. the sense is 50
plain, that it requires wiliul misconcep-
tiOn to create the smallest modicum of iun.
1t requires less effort to laugh at a husband
with Roman nose having strong religious
tendencies. When splnster, particularly
fond Of children, informs the public that she
wishes for two or three, having none of her
own, one cannot help smiling at the spin
ster'S own guileleSs simplicity, which pre-
vented her from noticing that her language
was likely to be williully perverted by the
malicious. An advertiser who - wants
Young mau to look after horse of the
Methodist persuasion" simply places the
cart before the hOrre. Ii i not improbable
that the chemist, when he requested that
the gentleman who left his stomach for ana
lysi>. would please call and get it, together
with the result. was himself wag. and
knew perfectly well what he was about.
There Is something very droll about the con
fusion exhibited by the advertiser, who
d" having made an advantageous purchase,
offers for sale, on very low terms, about six
dozen of prime port wine, late the property
of gentleman forty years Of age, full in the
body, and of high bouquet. Nor is it
easy to preserve our gravity entirely when
We read: To be sold cheap, a splendid
gray horse, calculated for charger, or
would carry a lady with a switch tail"
That lady oaght certainly TO make the ac-
quaintance OF the owner OF mail-phGton.
the property of gentleman with movable
head as good as new 1t Is doubtful what
was meant by the goyerness who advertised
AuAA. Alll ti--A NAlfA li4a-4ll4lNiA~ 7Ait
was perfect mistress OF her own tongue
there Is an Interpretation which should have
secured her an offer Of something better
than a situation a. governess. Ii We laugh,
we must deeply sympathize with the wealthy
widow who advertised for an agent. nat, by
a printers error, was represented a. re-
quirins gent, and was. consequently,
inundated with applications by letter. and
pestered by personal attentions THERE'S a
good humorous advertisement inserted IN
paper as long ago as lSl6, evidently by
householder who has improved his dwelling
for the benefit of grasping proprietor
thus it runs " Wanted iwmediately, To
enable me to lcaye the house which have
for these last five year inhahisj. in the
same plight and condil.sn in which ] found
it, five hundred live rats, for which viii
gladly pay the sum Of five pounds sterling
and, as cannot leave the farm attached
thereto in the same order in which got it,
without a, least five millions of docks and
dockcus (weed-) | DO hereby promise a fur
ther sum of five pounds for said number Of
dockcns y. L. The rats must be full
grown, and no cripple.
For dry humor, American advertisements
seem to bear away the palm and with the
humor Is mingled, sometimes. no little III
genuity. \ story Is told Of a grocer IN
Pennsylvania, whose name was Jones. or
who, at any rate was an agent Tor one Jones,
and whose iayorite place Tor advertising was
the fence Of a graveyard, upon which fence
he inscribed in large white letters &c t~e
Jones' bottled ale If you would keep ont OF
here To conclude our specimens, we Will
give a characteristic advertisement sent ont
by weil-known clearinghouse keeper in
princetown, Indiana " Wanted-two or
three boarders Of decent stripe, such as %
to bed n nine O'Clock without a pipe or
cigar in their mouth. | wish them to rise
in time to wash their faces and comb their
heads before breakfast When they put on
their boots, to draw down their pants over
them, and not have them rumped about their
knees, which i sure sign of a rOwdy.
When they sit down to rest or warm by the
fire, not to put their feet on the mantel-
piece or bGreau, nor spit in the bread-tray
And to pay their board weekly, monthly, or
quarterly v As may be agreed uaon-wIth a
smile upon their faces. and they will find me
as pleasant as an opposum (SiO up per-
simmon tree