River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-02-12
Humorous.

The dearest spot on eGrth-the atore
that doesn't advertise,
"You look as ifyou we're beside your.
self" said wsg to a fellow who stood
by the side Of an ass.
Jonah was a stranger among whales,
and they took him in.
A man in Peoria claims 10 have a
stone that Washington threw at a wood
pecker on his fathers cherry-tree.
A man in New Jersey, who had not
been inside bar room for twenty years,
has been in the States Prison for long
er time than that.
"Biddy," said a lady, "step oyer and
ee how old Mrs Jones is this morning"
In few minutes Biddy returned with
the information that Mrs. Jones was
seyenty.two years, seven months, and
two days old that morning.
1t is said that the first thing Adam
planted in the Garden Of Eden was his
foot; so his first crop must have been
the corn crop.
A facetious fellow, having unwilling
lY offended oopceited puppy, the latter
told him he was mo gentleman" care
you a gentleman asked the droll one.
Yes sir" bounced the fop. Then
| am yery glad | an not" replied the
other.
What would become OF US if the
brake was to give wsy?" exclaimed a
nervous Lady: e he IT, q IN which she
was riding wa alieing down steep de-
cline. THAT would depend entirely
upon how ysu have lived in this
world" was he consoling reply of the
guard.
There is nothing so sad in life as the
spectacle Of an auctioneer attempting to
sell fifteen thousand dollars worth Of
goods to an audience whose aggregate
and tangible assets foot up thirty cents
A Detroit elitor has established
bad precedent BY marrying a girl COM
positor. She will always know whether
it is necessary br him to stay down at
the efiice till 3 o'clock in the morning
TO "make up tie forms"
4 little four.year.od created ripple
of laughter by rsmarkiug to the teacher
of her Sunday-school class: "Our dogs
dead. | bet lhe angels were scared
when they see aim coming up the walk
He's cross to strangers"
A verv progressing young lady can
vassing for a popular book, stepped into
the Office OF real estate broker in
Springfield, Mass. the other morning,
aud finding the broker apparently at
leisure, asked him to look at her books.
The gentleman politely informed her
that it would only be waste OF time,
as he could not purchase it "Oh, never
mind that" calculated the viyacious
young woman: ait wont cost anything
to look at il, even il you don't buy. ]
should like to have you read some por
tions of il and see what 1t is" The ac-
comodatiug broker took the volume and
glanciug at toe title page, commenced
a perusal ofthe introduction. This fin.
ished, he began at the drst chapter and
read carefully and leisurely along. 1t
was about 9 o'clock when he commenced
aud an hour passed silently away. Then
the book agent began to exhibit signs
Of nervousness. which were apparently
unnoticed by the broker for he never
raised his eyes from the volume but read
steadily on Eleven O'Clock came and
the lady began 10 walk rather smartly
about the room, glancing occasionally
out a the windows AT noon the bro.
ker was still reading and the agent wore
a decided troubled countenance. a few
minutes before, / O'Clock the broker
laid the book down. lesurely donDed
his oyerclat aud hat, aud remarked
blandly. That is very good book.
am sorry that | cannot read more Of
it, but am Obliged to 20 to dinner
II you will ca q this afternoon | twill
r.sd coma more Of thigN