Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-01-28
Dissertations.

observations
Freebooters- who are ready
to kick for nothing.
K. X. was surprised to hear a
Omaha man call him Mr.. King.
Elijah was not a vain man, yet his
tory relates that he was taken up
with his clothes.-Terre Haute Ga
zette.
A Clarksville man has written a
life of the devil. The last three
chapters comprise ten years biogra-
ply of his mother-in-law.
Mrs. Partington, reading of the
strike Of the wire drawers, remark
ed: "Ah, me, what new-fangled
things won't they wear next?"
Life will seem brighter when it is
known that the Gar of all the Rus
slams picks his teeth with jack-knife,
and is about to 60 crazy like the rest
of us.-MdrshdH Mess'r.
Reading the great Surgeons dec
laration. "a cigar is thing to thank
God for" Navy Yard school boy
bought a cigar. He was afterwards
seen hanging over a fence, but he
was not giving thanks.-Washington
Chronicle.
A colored gentleman went to con-
suit one of the most "high-toned"
lawyers in Boston, and after stating
his case, said: "Now / knows you's
a lawyer; but l wish you would
please, sar, jiss tell me the truff bout
dat matter"
"Pretty bad under foot, to-day"
said one citizen to another, as they
met in the street the other day. eyes,
but it's fine overhead" responded the
other. "True enough" said the first,
"but then very few are going that
way"
A Thomas street school boy had
Just got his face fixed to sing "Let us
love one another" when a SNOWFALL
hit him in the mouth and so confus-
ed him that he yelled: "Bill Sykes,
just do that agin and I'll chaw your
ear off."-ROme Sent.
A good little boy on Hoyne street,
aids to clothe and feed his widowed
mother by threatening to 'peg"
stones at the little girls as they are
going to school, unless they pay him
a penny a day. His ambition when
he grows up is "to be policeman"
Chicago Tribune.
'Now, then," said a physician,
cheerily, to patient, ''you have got
along far enough to indulge in lit
tie animal food, and" mo you
don't, Doctor" interrupted the pa
tient; ''Pve suffered enough on your
Cruel and slops, and I'd starve
sooner than begin on hay and oats"
Girls should be warned of the dan
ger they run in marrying railroad
brakemen. An enthusiastic member
of that fraternity, on being awakened
the other night from a dream of an
impending crash by train, found
himself sitting up in bed, holding
his wife by the ears, having nearly
twisted her head off in his frantic eff
forts to "down brakes"
A gentleman, while walking in his
garden, caught his gardener asleep
under tree. He scolded him sound
ly for his laziness, and ended by tel
ling him such sluggard was not
worthy to enjoy the light of the sun.
at was for that reason exactly" said
the gardener. "that | crept up into
the shade"
stranger, will you try hand
with us at poller?' "Thank you, gen
tlemen, but there are seventeen ,rea-
sons why 1 cannot accommodate you
now." Seventeen reasons for not
playing cards? Pray, what are they?"
"Why, the first is l haven't any
money" "Stop! that's enough !;
never mind the other sixteen"
A near-sighted man was riding in
a woodward avenue car the other day,
when lady opposite bowed to him.
He returned the bow, raised his hat,
smiled sweetly, and was just wonder
ing who she was, when she came over
and whispered in his ear: "Oh! I'll
fix you for this, old man. Then he
knew it was his wife.-DetrOt Press.
1t is hard winter, but the price
of Ostrich tips continues panicy-or,
rather, there is always a panic in the
house that cherishes a desire for
them without realizing from it.
When the question comes up Bread
or feathers?' it is a good deal as it
was with the boy when asked which
of his demands was the most impera-
tive-"Never mind the shoes, dad,"
he replied, 81 must have the breast
pinw NOrUich AurOrd.
A gentleman was looking into the
window of toy store the other day,
when two boys halted, and one re-
marked: "Say, Jim, don't you wish
we had ten cents to buy present
for our poor lame sisterg' Jim re-
piled that he did, and the gentleman
pulled out shinplaster and said he
was glad to be able to assist them in
such praisewortly enterprise. He
met the same boys half an hour af-
terward, and each had his pocket
stuffed with popcorn balls.-Detroh
Free Press.
The New York Herald was one of
the papers that adopted as truth the