Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-01-16
A Chinese Yarn

the New Orleans Picayune saws: che -Fu1G
Is a picture OF the more wretcheI Chinese. He
l. friEhtful, disgusting in appearance Tall
Tor q Chlnaman, being over SIX feet in height,
he IS thin and emaciatnl, a skeleton scar =
crow. HIS face is covered with wrinkles.
Tx" school boys atlas; his nose must b ,
taken for granted, it is mere suspicion: n rs
mouth is a perfect gulf in itself his eyaS
altogether out of the right position; and the
heSh OF his face hangs down like the hide Oi
u rninoceroS. Altogether Flung il a dis
gushing sight, looks as if he had been huls.
ana dried, boiled anu smoked, then burIe fp.
a mouth or So, ana dug uD t. be exhibited
Yet Che-Fung is n COOL tall,cr in Pigeon
English, ana in confidential manner dis
closed his Whole history in that language of
which, while making out about one word in
Ten, we GOT general idea.
60 - was circus man iii China-TSien-
sing, as we call 1t. I'VE are great On gymTas-
tie and legcrdemaYn; but particularly in
nat raj phOntmena, human curiositieS, &c.
Ihere is a human monstrOsity manuGgctory
az ISacping where for a consideration, any
oi the human dcfOrmities you Americans re-
s5ru as tHpSi hd-ER can be ma ic to order.
There are many parents who thus sacrifice
their children 10 be made monsters Of and
VINO 1--we on the gaining by the exhibition OF
IneSe nOnStrOSitiCS.
81 cannot explain how all of these tricks
are Done, but that they are done any China
man can testify. a dwarf is of easy manu-
facturc; regular morning dose OF wnisk "
ana tea To child will stunt il keep to il down
TO its original size. y monstroSity, hunch-
back, Is OfcourSc easy; while human b.iagS
elephant, by being moulded in a jar like
jelly-Stuck into a jar OF the desired shape
shape when young, and left there ID develop
Itself.
AS for myself, was brought up a fat
man.
A fat man" we exclaimed involuntarily.
looking AT Che-Fuug's spare form. DO Won
manufacture fat people i'll Chna?' 1t is
only a trick of the trade. / was naturally a
thin boy. but old Fee Lee soon brought ne
out. You have seen sheep slaughtered her1
them SE[innPG. \ IL II in -
outer skin she epilcTmis; a bellows is in
serted and worked. The air finds il IS way be-
wen me cuticle and cults, or skin proper,
and sWellS out the animal TO double its size
at the same time that il almost separates
these two skins so that the hide OF the AMI
MAJ comes OIL easily. This is the manner in
which was treated. Every morning / was
treated TO an air bath and Il gallon, or so Ofair
injected INTO my system, and soon began TO
swell like a balloon.
In month or so was returned to NV
parents fat boy, and fine specimen ola tat
boy. measuring, although only fifteen, IS
inches, around the chest and Is round the
pounds; the truth was L weighed only about
$50, the 80 being the weight OF POO gallons of
ali by which was putfed ont.
81 don't belief that / altogether presented
very pretty aspect, being puffei out and
lUmpy III appearance, and looking bioaseI
rather than fat. However very close obSeT-
Yer could not detect the impOStJlre, and was
exhibited for many years, earning resDecta-
bic livelihood for my parents, VINO hai
Drought me up to the procession of fat man.
- me profession was not an agreeable oTn.
The air made me ever feel sleepy and sick IL
dld not, however, make me lazy; il dill not
impede me as Fat would have done. Those
who saw me agility and gracafulnesS ON the
street wondered how SO fat q man couIi h.
50 lively, little suspectinS that his apparent
iatnesS was an assistance, and half carried
me along the street. There were few yDrInp
men in China that could beat the monster OF
600 pounds in foot race.
/" came over here AMI exhibited in America
In 50 Va..a1- -.
ing sitting an American child. with the
usual ingenuity and Investigating disposition
of American children, crept up behind. and
probably impressed with the desire of His,
covering whether a rat man could feel nruGt
ran pin or knife or something sharp into me
while no one was Observing him. The result
was somewhat of an explosion; the captive
air rushed out and left me a thin-lOOking in
dividual as am now. There WAS no one to
blow me up scientifically; and / therefore
gave up the profession of fat man for thai of
washcrwoInan. seldom feel any evil conce-
quences from my previous condition, save
that my cuticlc, or outer skin, is almost sep
arat@d from myself, and, like an ill-fitting
suit OF clothes, almost drops OIL, or punches
itself up in diSagreeable manner. | some
times get cold inside OF it, which is not at ali
comfortable. sui the position OF washer
man, and intend to stick 10 ito
"GwINE FUR TO JINE THE BAND'-The
other night Fayetteville gentleman was
greatly disturbed by dismal bowling i'm his
kitchen, which he at first supposed was the
sad refrain of some low-spIritei tom-cat
dying with the bronchitis. Tracing ND the
noise he found that it proceeded from an old
negro woman that was rocking backward
and forward in a chair, singing as vOciferoIS-
~ as her feeble lungs would allow.
W hat are you doing, Aunt Peggy o. ex-
claimed the irate Fayetteyillian.
II IN a slnSin of hime, honey"
Inc d you are; what 'hime' are you
Singing?"
I'm a singing, I'm gwine fur to jine the
band"
'Wcll, I'd like to know what band you
are 'gwine fur to iinp.'r
DE angel band, honey-de Lords bani!"
Now you'd make Il nice angel. wouldn't
hide
"Nebber mind about the dirt honey"
piously calculated Aunt Peggy, ''nebber
mind about de dirt-de Lord he got plenty
OF soap, he has, and he runs de ribber JOr-
dan, he doeS-nebber mind about the dirt
m gwine fur to jine-!"
Here Aunt Peggy's tOrmentOr fled, and she
was left to exercise her vocal powers at dis
cretion.-FdyettetQteE Jpress.
THE --LATEST TARIFF.-A calculation of
the erect "a slight gratuity on a hotel or res
taurant waiter comes out something as fol-
lows:
Three cents: Slight bow; apt to inspect coin
as If expecting it to change into something
larger.
Five cents: obliged"
Six cents: s'Thank Won"
Ten cents: Thank Won. Colonel"
Fifteen cents: THANK you, General"
Twenty cents: Low bow; flourish of napkin:
formula as above.
quarter Profound bow; alacrity to find hat;
felnt To brush ii with the elbow; door held
open.
Half dollar: Happiness.
Dollar Bliss.-BUHinlOre American
THE WEATHER REPoRTS.-A chunk of a
boy was seen studying the weather report
charts hanging in the poSt-ofiice yesterday
ana wondering at the Lads interest a gentle
man approached him and asked:
"Well, my son, what do you wish to find?'
I'm looking to see how the old thermom
stands at Duluth" replied the boy; "if she's
10 below I've got TO dust for home and split
more wood; If she's at zero l can go off with
Bill jackson to see his dog fight a tame
cOon!'-DetT0a Pre- Press
ONE of the Paris almanacs has this story
lgned Laboulaye:-A lazy girl, who liked to
I've In comfort and do nothing, asked her
airy godmother to give her good genius to
do everything for her. On the instant the
airy called ten dwarfs who dressed and
washed the little girl and combed her hair,
and fed her and so on. All was done so nice
y that she was happy except for the thought
that they would go away. ITO prevent
that" said the gOdmother," 81 will place