The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1875-03-27
A sPELLING PUzzLE.
Something for wheeling spoilers
to study,

Something for wheeling spoilers
to study,
From tho Chicago TrlbunO,l
A yigllaht gazetteer, with the sobriquet
OF Colonel" who had combaled the
raillCry OF tho plobOianA and tho eu.
phuiSms and sChisms Of the validating,
idiosynuratic, Orudito patricians, received,
with unparalleled exclamation, a chal-
lengc to an orthographical competition.
To his transcondent surprise, tho
pr6tfered prize was, daguorreotypes oil
MendelsshOn, Koscilsko, and Rensselaer,,
or, II tho oonqueror preferred, copies Of
the soptuagint Apocrypha, and Vest
minister Catcshism. He Thought with
debatably admissible egotism Of tho
gratuitous applause Of the populace, and
the appearance OF his namo In bourgeois
tho next day, and his choice was discernl.
bic In his hilarity, and tho hier0glyphical
acknowledgment which no transmitted to
the embarrassed and stupefed gypsy, who
left with a rough courtesy.
He changed his apparel donned his
Nassau, Ulster, and his worsted gauntlots,
and travelled toward the trySting-place,
He stopped at druggists TO obtain
dose u chlOral and dozen troches,
Here he found physician who WIS
purchasing dram phial Of ipecacuanha
and an ounce OF licoFice for colicky pa
tient, who pot only had the collie, but
rheumatism, neuralgia, bilious eryBipelaS,
ccrebrosplnal meningitis, pneumonia,
and huniplegia.
He met q surveyor and an architect
who were gauging tho width Of Eighth
street for o criss.CroSs trestlework bridge.
A ferreous derrick almost mauled his
Uranium, and he bawled aloud. His
clamor brought an ally from ncighbor.
ing alley, who administered adratght Of
rectiRed whisky and a teaspoOnful OF par
egoric mixed with chlOroiorm, AT the
same time this thief with conaummate
yillainy purloined his chronOmeter and
the!balance Of specie In hiA pockets. He
committed this piece Of rRscality with
impunity, and II went unpublished, for
our punctiliOus friend was haraSsed and
perplexed ut the lateness Of the hour.
lie next met Q sybil, who wore do
bego pOlonaise with acnlrass basque, and
shirred tabller; all deliberately trimmed
with bias pleatings and passenienterie, =
and carried saCllel pOrtem0nnRie, and
reticule. She smilingly offered him n
tempting bouquet Of fuchSiaS, lilies, mig
nonette, and phlox IN aconch like basin:
But he saw caterpillar costly enSconScd
among the posies, and refused the nose
| IA grocoryman tried to inveigle himin
buying supply ofpeas, potatoes, celery,
cauliIlower, or kerosene, but he thought
Of his embezzled funds, and passed on. A
TeutOnic tenant Of o tonement-holse, Tor
getting the tenet Of tho law, was bastlna-
doing the solea Of an incorrig ible strlpling
with sircingle. The murmur oil the pa.
rental harangue, preceded by u yolleey Of
yirulent impreCatiOns, filled the auditory
meatus Of friend anil lic proceeded to.
ward tile goal. A flaming advertisements oil
recent discoveries oiauriierous and argent
ferrous deposits In tho argillaceous count
~ Of the BLACK Hills now caught his eye
lie did not stop to critiCise the italicized
statements, but he saw several salabIe
specimens Of cinnabar, more precious
than bdellium, onyx, OF bOryl.
When lie reached. his destination he
was exceedingly rolled to find That the
gnonor Of tho did indicated that he was
delin0uent. An ostentatiOuS pedagoguc
with d ferule or gayel In his hand, was
endoayoring to niystify his Audience with
Tho nhnhlinIinns that emnnatcd from Lib
larynx. y. .,
@kaleiloscope" and "mnemonics," dis
mayed some, and 'tlymn' was o ,plaguy
word to the Colonel, for no spelled y will
nm a." Feeling symptoms ola phthisicky
catarrh, he left, amid tho ridiculing clap
ping othands Of his competitors