The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-12-29
Funny Incidents in the Pulpit.

and the question went around TO each
as follows: "Were You ever so placed
in public in the performance of
service as to lose all sense of the SOL
emnity of the occasion and be com
PEELED to laugh in spite of your more
serious self?" and the following are
some of the replies that were made
A very solemn clergyman and his as
sistant, who were disturbed in their
chancel by miserable looking street
cat, which had come in in some un-
known way, and was rubbing itself
up against their legs, me-ow-ing pit
eously. The rector beckoned to the
assistant to put the cat out, which he
did, but in a few moments she was
back again. Upon this the very sol
emn rector placed the poor creature
under one of the heavy box stools in
the channel, and, placing his foot on
this improvised kennel, gave out the
hymn beginning:
IA charge to keep I have"
The last experience mentioned was
that of clergyman at his first bap-
tism of infants. He was then very
young in years, and had never before
held baby that he could remember
of, much less hold a baby and book
in the presence of church full of
people. The first infant given into
his arms was big, squirming boy of
thirteen months, who Immediately
began to corkscrew his way through
clothes and wrappings. The minis
ter held on bravely, but in a few mo-
ments the child's face disappeared in
the wraps, aud his dangling legs be
meath, were worming their way to the
floor. Seized with the horrible i'm
preston that the child was tunnel
ing his way through his clothes and
would soon be on the floor in q state
of nature, he clutched the clothes vi
olently by the sash band, and strad
ding the child upon the chancel rail
said to the mother, eff you don't
hold that baby he will certainly be
through his clothes, and shall have
nothing left but the dress to baptize."
Poor AND CONTENT is RICH, AND
RICH ENoUGH.-We noticed on the
street the other day near one-steer
wagon and neat, strong, black steer
between the shafts, and nice cotton
covering over the ribs of the wagon
body, and a black jack three pronged
stick, with three red apples on the
prongs, erected on the front end of
the wagon body was sign. We de-
termined to see the proprietor and he
submitted to an interview as easily
as candidate for Governor. We
said-Stranger, what have you got to
sell? He said-I have got the yaller-
skin red-breasted Shockly apple. We
said-Where do you come from? He
said-From the upper ee-nd of Har-
alison County, on the left prong Of
Turkey Creek and close to Jack
Mountain. We said--How many ap
pies have you got, and how do you
sell themy He said-I started with
twelve bushel; l retail them at fifteer
cents dozen or two dollars pei
bushel. l have sold seven bushels
and will close out the lot in a day o.
) two. On inquiry we found that
would take at least ten days to maxi
, the round trip from home and back
but he would realize on his load o
' apples near thirty dollars, and i
didn't cost cent to make them. HI
, had made plenty of corn and meat
E and some cotton, but he hadn't eve
y had the cotton ginned. He said
was penned up in the field, and b
was in no hurry about it. He sal
h he would be down again befor
f Christmas with another load of az
: Piles and some beeswax and hone
e and some feathers and some othe
e little tricks. He was well-dressed i
8 homemade jeans and was happy as
G lark. We asked him when he woul
bring his cotton, and he said be didn
il know, but if he got time to gin it an
k felt like it he might bring it in som
n time next summer after he had lai
!: by his crop. He seemed to care yer
d little about his cotton, and if tt
i, cows had eaten it up he wouldn
E. have shed tear Newman ga
e. Star.
~ HANS ANDERsoN's LOVE STORY
~ It was on Anderson's journey throue
Zealand, Funen and Jutland that
=. met young girl with whom he fe
deeply in love, but who, unfortunat