Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-03-18
VARIETIES.

WHO Is OuI HiiiS uP iONSS'"
Sunday)-"What are you doing there
my dear? Are you burning incense?"
Young lady-"O, no, ma; am only
burning nonsense"
A Cleveland girl who mysterious
ly disappeared the other night wasn't
eaten up by panther nor drowned
in the lake. They found her in
Buffalo four days after, and she was
married to a man six feet high.
An exchange doesn't understand
how young man on salary of ten
dollars a week can afford to make
his girl a present ola diamond ring
worth $50. His washerwoman, with
whom he is nine weeks in arrears,
thinks she can understand it.
1t is said that black-eyed ladies are
most apt to be passionate and jeal-
Gus. Blue-eyed, soulful, truthful,
affectionate and confding. Gray
eyed. philosophical, literary, reso-
lutte, cold-hearted. Hazel-eyed,
quick tempered and tickle.
The Santa Cruz Sentinel compares
that town to ethe dimple on beauty's
cheek" More cheek than dimple,
probably.
Never trust with secret mar
ried man who loves his wife, for he
will tell her, and she will tell her
sister, and her sister will tell every
body.
He who is wise now buyeth his
girls little brother something nice,
and so getteth the little rascal to
make himself scarce whenever nee
essary hereafter.
''It was the prettiest fight you ever
saw" said John Henry. "She pun
ched away at the ivory keys like
mad, and the piano forte nobly."
Justice always overtakes the
a guilty. A New Orleans man stole a
COW, and while milking her he fell
bsdead of heart disease. If he had
only let his wife milk her he might
have been alive to-day and had a
Cow ahead.
The lazy school boy who spelled
.hAndrew Jackson "&ru Jaxon," has
been equaled by a student who
marked the first of half dozen new
Shirts 'John JONES'" and the rest
Wy, II IL e. I@E
The ghost of Noah Webster came
to a spiritual medium in Alabama,
nA 0ng since, and wrote on slip
@paper, sit is tite tines Noah
was right, but we are sorry to see he
'ntaas aogone back on his dictionary.
-'H q fhi3s Cincinnati Commercial tells o,
.aanan Of delicate organization who
.,.feeelitly contracted a severe infu
noeaaa froM imprudently going down
fo,i breakfast one morning without
his watch chain. He was homeop.
athically treated, and is now better
!D0era6 passengers on the lower
Mississippi were attracted by the
6At&sA1sking in the sunshine
"ArssSbsS amphibious, captain?'
t4skea locker on. Amphibious
rtbpp}n,ater!ss aa.l answered the enthusiastic
officer, ''they'll eat hog a minute ,
.sa..7sM no harm
.oTbe fSf aa Francisco Chinese dom
.Fseam1to, ihes troubled much by tn,
death of the emperor. Only few
TO4IQ6r TO understand thu
position Of an emperor, and they
sayusIoa8der man alice same
gAYofdrHH 81. #ta-
He who gSsteit blind stitch or
.ths,bApANRSiSs whsle the observing
IIIdu SCdLu6IL lllc CudlT seal D0IOTS
,K2HaAM IAIS
ArH4aTRMtA M absent-mindet
when hS6ShkkstfUa< left his watcl
at home and, takes II out of his yes
.Soek et to see. il he ,hsstime to return
-fbaSe to gss'it::H' III @'''''
she nah iNhd &GA4Aake a pape
n0INAa cau0 t&HowAne, has in
vented a machine, with which h.
e ssa' esSsoIMfsA M AK. smoke o
obisneighboe,s chimney 81 1ao
.s.,rqxd 500
HaSssss {ts ssn ,iss9l!f + 'a' colo an
roo# aba hhssyS T. hiss 'psa VA I'm before
woman has got her halr:pins on
ssqnc3 Ter shoes, u,iataAised ssiigii.1;rI sat