Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1875-10-16
SUNBEAMS.
Small, talk-about babies.

61nal. Ctk--aUOut DaDlcS.
1t is always put up or shut up with On
umbrella.
Milkmen are spending their leisure hours
at watering places.
"Mory Jane, have yon laid he table-cloth
and plates yet n "Yeth 'em-everythinS
but the egggs, and tlien's Esidgct's work"
Miss Delight Partridge is a rising young
vocalist in Utica. How delightfully."- sug-
gestive her name is o. n game supper.
A Minnesota man who wanted 70 see how
bees wol llcd in the hive can manage to
squeeze Il number twelve hat on his head
row.
It may be said. for the information of The
economical, that lily in aplate Of huckle-
berries contains more nutIiment than .
dozen berries.
The question is asked how lady working
an afghan keeps count of all the knits. The
only suppoeion is that she must carry
them in her head.
A worthy Athol (Mass.) woman fed a
tramp the other day, "ier which he asked
ii he might so TO bed long enough for her
to wash and iron his shirt.
Texas ladies are holding fe,es TO buy
Homestead for jefferson Davis, bat what the
old gentlem secretly Graves after, is
pull-back skirt Of the newest pattern.
The Tolc,!o E'm7e writes mp II" Cruel
Wife Deser;ion." We have always MAIN
tanned, AND sill do, thu, where a man has Il
cruel wife, he's got II perfect right to desert
her.
A conscientious storckcopcr bought some
damaged goods at aIction reccntly, and
this is the way lie advertised them in his
store window "D-aSal goods from auc-
ton"
The oldest journalist on the staf Of tho
Cleveland PiuiMi"nier sums up his expert
,nce as follows No man can keep habit
ual company with a cockroach and be
cheerful"
Al the funeral of a woman n neigibor in
attendance, feeling it necessary TO say some
thing sympathetic to the afflicted husband,
kindly observed you've got splendid
day for the funeral"
A youthful Clergyman dilated at length
uron the KILN, of The fatted calf. The
climax was as follows g shouldn't wonder
if ;"e father had heM Mat ca!f for gears,
awaiins the return Of his SON."
"lItst thou ever loved, Henrietta 7"
sighe |. IL should rather imagine had"
she replied "Oh, did not my ylances my
feelings h"trly, when you helped me to
pudding the third time to-dayY"
A Columbia professor, reproving a youth
for tne exercise of his fists, said 1--WE
fight vi ii oar heads here The youth re-
t-cted, and replied that bntting wasn't con-
siderel fair at his last school.
Just before marrying an old man for his
money, n Louisville girl called her father
aside, and, throwing herself on his neck,
exclaimed. amid smiles and tears: "Oh,
father! Your poor, miserable daughter
will have new bonnet every week"
In a recently published gazetteer is tho
following errt,;.m {: " For Duchman' read
DR. Adams" This is almost equal to the
we'll known erratum in y country paper,
For alum water read alma mater"
Chinese version of ";he little busy bee:"
How belly small chin-rhin sting bug
Im-im-l -llove ehly sixty minnit all time.
Go. pcl>"e up sting bug juice all day,
All kin places 'loun owcls jest got bust
ed.
A Scotch pedder completely cowed an
irascihl. Wrshman, who insisted on fight
ing him in an inu kitchen. hy going down.
on his knees and implo"ing pardon for
having killed two men already and being
about to kill another"
An awful fate has overtaken Texas law
YER The Bonham Enterprise says: "Joe
| Dupree made his first speech on Tuesday,
assisting Captain Sims in the prosecution OF
| Alexander Rogers for rape. The jury SELL
fenced him 10 be hanged"
A father fearing an earthquake in the re-
eion of his home, sen, his two boys to Il
distant friends until tn" peril should b.
over. A few w,rn, aft ~ he father received
| this letter from his f:i,ild: please tax .
| your boys hone and send down the earth.
! quake"
"JesSe. what Wa JOS arm doing roun |
your waist when you were at the from; ga"
| last night ?' asked Il prrcjcions boy of his
| sister His arm wasn't round my waist .
| won belt from Inn and he w,Is takirr
my uSe:..,opled the indignant young
lady. q
A louisville paper says the world is over
popula.ed That city, however, is not !;
| rood one to build estimate on. Two
| louisville mon and quart of kentu ky
| whisky become so numcrotls that the ne gh-
| bo"s think there are 2,0OO,0oO of them.-
| NatCaakee Seatinei.
"Maria," observed Mr.. IIolcomb, as h"
was putting on his clothes, there aint 10
| patch on hem brcccheS yet" II can't fix
it now no way; I'm too busy" "Wei!.
rive me the patch. then, an III carry !.
around with me, | don't want people to
| think | can't afford the cloth.'
A South Boston lady WAS recently inter:
.oga,ei by Bcncdlck as to why She dfi
not gel married. She replied: Il prefer 20
he an oh maid" II. said he did not becN
! il, ns he Talt sure ~he rnvird his wife. "On.
10 thar world be- ir.ahng lie command
meut-l'hoa shalt not covet thy neiShbor'a
ass
Recently - II NEGRO was pain'i>.5 h,S
| house on W.ttspn Stle"', and was nearly ~
| the top Of ii long l,ad'r. i'i~ wife came o"i
and called 10 him % come doWn. Just II;
that moment It rung bgo'>r ,snd he ma,
came down on his Aedd, i~mie' up and
said ny y, .ioney, 80 Oh "id .oIf r.
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