Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-03-26
rr.n.aotion. Of P.aaatvills Lyesun
A PERPLExED QUESTION SETTLED,
AND VIRTUE ITS OWN REWARD.

The second meeting took place &C.
cording to appointment. The snow
was deep and the going bad, so that
members came in late. The results
of the last nights unpleasantness was
quite apparent. Two of the Presi-
dents eyes were in mourning and his
forehead was peeled, Philander Brown
came in on crutches, Sol Blumley
was searching for piece of an ear
he had lost, Sam Baker had an arm
in sling and Hold Kelley's nose was
done up in splints.
Pretty soon an unusual hustle was
heard around the door, which was
followed by the entrance Of Squire
Fluffy, the celebrated divorce lawyer,
with an assistant, carrying between
them one of the largest size Saratoga
trunks, of the kind known as the bull
ger, filled to the utmost with atfida-
Wits manufactured at independence,
where the business is specially.
1t seems that the great barrister
happened to be out of job, and
hearing of the Peanutville difficulty
he knew he would be retained in one
or more divorce cases, to say nothing
of assaults with intent to do great
bodily harm, and manslaughter; and
for convenience sake, and to have mat
tiers in a forward state, he had come
prepared for whatever turn things
might take.
The President called to order, when
Fluffy asked leave to address the meet
ing, which was granted. He opened
by learned reference to the French
revolution, then to the Anglo Saxon
rule under Egbert the Penurious,
gracefully turning to the recent cleo
tons in New Hampshire. He closed
the first round by a pathetic remon-
STRANGE against the cXorbitant price
Of mems Undertaking. In round
second he got right down to bust
ness. He said that disregard for law
and the representatives OF the law
was the prevailing sin of this simple
age; that it threatened the very exist
ence of religion and order; and that,
in all his experience (which was by no
means insignificant, he had never
known SO fragrant a violation Of law
as that which occurred in our lyceun
at the previous meeting, and (grow-
ing excited) if we allowed so many
pieces Of the breeches the meant
breaches Of the peace) to 90 unpun-
ished, then was our religion a shame
and our morality a pretence.
If the least feeling of resentment
at his structure was felt, it was in
stantly dispelled by Il glance at his
seedy attire.
John Sawyer said he thought we
had quarreled enough; that our char
acter was now none of the best, but
if we went into 4 public trial we
should lose what little we had, and
the hest of us would come out con-
spiritors and Judas Iscariots, whether
plaintiffs or defendants, successful or
not.
Jasper Moore deprecated all resort
to law, as we could not hope to get
up much OF Il case, and he thought it
would be envious on our part to dis
tract the attention of the American
people from the yreH Eiai by getting
up rival scandal in Peanutville.
Hub. Wrigh, said that no person
more fully than he realized the duty
of providing for the lawyers that
Providence had intrusted to our care,
but Il long and careful consideration
of the subject had convinced him
that the cuuse of public morals and
the peace of communities would be
promoted if we would support them
by direct taxation.
At this unexpected show of feeling
Lawyer Fluffy gathered his afiidavits
again into the trunk and took his
sorrowfu. departure. l felt for him,
and followed him outside the school
house. told him l knew it must be
dreadful strain on his finances to
have so much money locked up in
his affidavits, and l offered to take
them off his hands at a shilling a
dozen. But he replied that he had
no money in them, for he got them
on tic; and as new Legislature is to
be chosen next fall, the attidavits
could be used ut the election. So l
felt comforted, and returned to the
school house
The discussion of the comparative
merits of the hen and goose were un-
der full steam. According to pro-
gramme, John Snider was advocating
the hen. He opened with a flattering
eulogy of that useful fowl. He traced
her relationship to the American
eagle. He discoursed eloquently of
the bantam, and the dung-hill, and
the Shanghai; and as he assembled
from the little bantam up through the
medium dung-hill to ths gigantic
Shanghai, SO did he lead his hearers
up through gradations to the very
Shanghai OF enthusiasm. l never
knew before how much we owed that
precious barn-yard fowl. But John
scared higher and higher, till he
reached the climax. "And now, Mr..