Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1875-05-21
II LIMO r

stalwart blacksmith fond of his pipe and
his joke. He Was also fond of his bloom
ing daughter, whose many graces had en-
shared the affections of a young printer.
Inc couple, after a season Of billing and
coong, engaged themselves" and moth
ing but the consent of the young lady's
parents prevented their union. To obtain
tnls an interview was arranged, and the
typo prepared little speech to admonish
ana convince the old man, who sat enjoy
ing his pipe in perfect content.
The typo dilated on the fact Of their
long friendship, their mutual attachments,
thelr hopes for the future and like topics;
and taking the daughter by the hand he
said: 81 am now, sir, to ask your permits
sion to transplant this lovely flower from
It's parent bed"-but his feelings overcame
MN and he forgot the remainder Of his
oratorical flourish, blushed, stammered,
and finally wound up with, ''from its
parental bed into my own''
{ The father keenly relished this discom
future OF the sutton, and removing his pipe
and blowing a cloud, replied:
''Well, young man, I don't know as l
have any objection, providing you marry
the girl first.
When you are given a word to spell, 60
through it at one jump. Don't 60 feeling
along as if you were on thin ice, OF down
you will go sure. Tackle it in this style:
In In, with an In, d-i di, with di, with
an Indi, an an, with an an, with an In.
with an Indi, with an Indian, APP ap, wit,
an ap, with La, with an India, with an
Indian, with an Indianap, O, with an o,
with an In, with an Indi, with an Indian,
with an Indianap, with an Indianapo, lis
lis, with an In,with an Indi, with an
Indian, with an Indianap, with All
Indianapo, with an Indianapolis.
Bill Smikes came home mellow the otllel.
night, and when his wife asked him what
allied him he said he had been to the spell
ling school and has (hicl got foul of hip
pip-poppo-poppo-hip popity hip pop
hip-pity h op-himus-hippitym hip
hip-hip-hippi tymus- hip-opytimus-or
some such (hic) COMPOUNDED word, and it
had given him one of his "spells."
80 gracious, not" exclaimed Mrs. Mar
rowfat to Mrs Quoggs, raising her hands
and speaking in very excited tone ''She
was 30 ill when her new bonnet came home
that she couldn't get up; but, dear S e.
Jane, that didn't matter nothing, for sh
just put her hat on and lay with her head
out of the window the whole afternoon.
A Danbu girl received porous plastic
in a gorgeous envelope bearing a mon
ogram. About ten O'Clock that night the
owner of that monogram, standing dis
robed before his fire, preparatory to apply
ing a remedy to his chest, tainted dead
away on drawing from a paper, mass of
paper, notices and flowers. There was 40
fire in the parlor the next Sunday evening
Since Mr.. Beecher told how Sam. VII
keson sat up in bed in his red flannel mig
shirt and swcre until everything in ti,e
room was blue, there has been talk in
New York of getting upa joint stock com
pony LOl opiIiGaaE Aohih 'pIOihulpt W
ting it up in six ounce packages and s.
ling it for cheap substitute for indigo.
Courier journal.
a contemporary asks. what are til
street lamps for?'' The man who doesl.
know what street lamp is for is rard
fit to sit in an editorial CHAIR and mold pu
lie opinion. Street lamps are for we;s
Young men to recline against at miduig
when they forget their way home.
After they got home from the spell.
snatch he kissed her about forty tim
right straight along, and when he stops
the tears cam into her eyes, and she sad
in sad tone of voice, ''Ah! John, | feai
you have ceased to love me-" No,
hayen't,'' replied John, ''but | mus
breathe"
Miss Eastman, of Boston, speaks of "eyes
as bright as buttons on an angels under.
clothing" 1t is a startling comparison.
and the melancholy part of it is the sue-
gestion that we fellows have got to b.
troubled with buttons over there as well
as over here.
Augustus, DEAR" said she. tenderIy
pushing him from her as the moonligi
flooded the bay window where they were
standing, II think you had better try some
other kind of hair-dye; your mustacbe
tastes like turpentine.''
The ''Danburian'' is responsible for the
following: The boatswain's pipe will not be
loaned to you to smoke. It's mistake to
enquire the time of day by the larboad
watch. Don't think you can steer a boat
because you have been tilIer of the SOIL
San Francisco had spelling match, in
which the worst speller was to lave the
prize. which was a copy of Josh Billings
book. s'Tirtue" was one of the words
given out, and the man who spelled it
sBeeehertiltons was awarded the prize.
Mrs. Evarts said Se Mr.. Evarts yester-
day morning: sect up and open the dam
per, William; and Mr.. Eyarts said alb
sently, turning oyer for another aap
EsYour honor will please note my excep-
tion.''
4'Oh, I've loved before - said Detroit
woman to her fourth husband as she took
handful of hair from his head because he
objected TO hang out weeks washing.
A colored Alabama preacher has discov-
cred that Daniel, who was cast in the
Hons den. was q eolored man, and his real
same was Charles Smith.
Precocious boy munching the fruio of
the date tree: Mamma, if 1 eat Oates
enough will | grow up to be an almanac?''