American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-08-21
MULTUM IN PARVO.

MULTUM IN PARVO.
ONLY a matter of fOrm-Tight-la cing.
THREE months is what an easy going
| Englishman got for borrowing an um-
brella on a rainy day.
THE Buffalo Erpress speaks of buck
ing the tiger as one of the attending sins
of that city's race week"
| THIs is the time of year when the trees
and telegraph-wires along the wayside are
being newly ornamented with wrecked
| kites.
THE longer one lives the more sure he
is to find out that there is being a good
deal said and done in the world that isn't
| true.
TENNESSEE expects to realize $500, 900
this year by a tax upon dogs, and in this
way will increase her revenues nearly
"a per cent.
| THE Boston Herald is of the opinion
that the cats owe the Baroness Burdett-
Coutts for her plea in their favor "a
mewnificent reward
A CALIFORNIA paper says: The milk
men of San Francisco have formed a
| mutual aid association. One holds the
can and the other pumps.''
A M1ssoURIAN, after looking over the
White House grounds, remarked that "ev-
see no place for hog-pen.''
A FELLOW is going around New York
State claiming to be Diogenes, the philos-
opher, but landlords of hotels insist on
his paying his bills in advance.
WHY is a man who is confined to his
house by illness like an absent boy who
longs to go home? Because the latter is
hOmesick and the former is home, sick,
too.
John, 1 wish you'd close that door,"
said an irritable father to his son. i" Your
mother must be scolding somebody at the
other end of the hall, there's such draft
from that quarter"
"WITH what material was this old
chair originally upholstered" inquired a
visitor to the Boston centennial collection.
Don't know, mum, 'i-replied the attend
ant; :" it looks, though, as if it might a.
been satin"
WHEN Arthur was a very small boy his
mother reprimanded him one day for
some misdemeanor. Not knowing it, his
father began to talk to him on the same
subject; Looking up in his face, Arthur
said solemnly: Mother has tended to
me-"
GERTRUDE JACKSON, of Mississippi,
comes as near being the fool-killer as any
body. She smiled dally on four adj
mirers, and each rose ~thirsting for the
others gore. Their thirst was satisfied all
round, and now Miss Jackson smiles upon
a fifth.
A MAN went to see his lady-love, and,
wishing to be conversational, observed:
I" The thermomokrum is twenty degrees
above zelon this evening" Yes" limo
Gently replied the maiden, Z" such kinds of
birds do fly higher some seasons of the
year than others.''
Wo>r..y,o prx,rCor II oba d;ao for -
As the bride got out of the carriage she
caught her veil and tore it, and the bride
groom was ill-natured about it. Then
when the functiOnary said, Will you
have this MANI" ETC., She said No." and
that was the end of that marriage.
A SCHOOL MISTRESS once asked a pupil to tell
What word the letters double E spell.
The child was but dull, and SO mistress cries,
!" What is 1t, you Ounce, do with my eyes"
"Oh, yes" says the child, quickly taking the
hint;
"Iknow the word now, ma'am-s double E.
/. THERE is no lesson of more importance
than to teach the art of making home
pleasant. This is one of the ways to keep
the boys and girls on the farm and to
make them satisfied with their situation.
For the want of something nice many a
boy has left the country home, made poor
lawyer OF clerk, who would have made a
gOOd, SUCCESSFUL
A MIDDLE-AGED woman fell as she was
descending pair of stairs on Jefferson
avenue yesterday, and the first man to
help her reach her feet was banker who
happened to be passing. Did you fall,
madam =" he inquired, as he seized her
arm. "Fall! Of course 1 fell, you fool,
you! You don't suppose I'd sit down
here to rest, do your" she snapped. He
didn't say-Detroit Free Press.
THESE are the days when the hard-fisted
farmers gather under the nearest shed
while the unreasonable rain comes down
in sheets Outside-talking "crops," and
discussing the situation as to "lodged
grain" "well- headed" wheat, how the
oats have filed" the corn is g tasseling''
or setting on the cob, p the outlook for an
"early frost' and fall plowing," and the
rising and " falling" of the " markets."
Exchange.
SAY what you will, says the Louisville
Courier-JOurn1l, the life editorial is not
all thorns. Here and there a rose springs
up, diffusing its odor through the sane
tunl, and, though many dark and angry
cloud floats athwart the sky, yet it is not
| always without its silver lining. How
forcibly this is illustrated by the expert
ence of an editor at Somerville, Tenn,
who has recently been presented with a
lizard with two tails!
A GENTLEMAN who had the misfortune
to lose his nose was followed by a beggar,
who kept eXclaiming: Heaven preserve
your honor's eyesightr' The gentleman
was at last irritated by his importantly
and said: Why do you wish my eye
sight to be preserved? Nothing ais my
eyeslght, nor is likely to-" No, your
honor" said the beggar, "but it will be a
sad thing if it does, for you will have
nothing to rest your spectacles upon"
ONE year ago, says the Vicksburg
Herald, they clasped hands over gate in
the dusk of evening, and she said she
| would be his little angel until life was no
more. Yesterday noon he went home and
found his Sunday suit in strips on the
| floor, his silk hat kicked in, and his fine
boots cut down, and she yelled out from
| the bedroom: els that you, you old
| alligator? Well, don't think you'll trot
off again without splitting any wood!''
THE "timers' used by horsemen are
| splendid pieces of mechanism, and cost
from $400 to $500 each. The favorite
| maker is Jules Jurgensen. The best of
| them will time as close as the fifth of a
second, and they are gotten up in magnif-
| cent style. The latest invention in the
world of " timers is one gotten up for a
| driver to use while driving his trotter. 1t
| is carried in the inside pocket of his
blouse, and small rubber tube runs from
| it close to the drivers mouth. just be-
| fore reaching the quarter post he puts the
| end of the tube in his mouth, and as he
darts by each quarter he gives a quick,
short blow in the tube and the time he
| passed is recorded upon the dial of the
timer. These newly invented timers cost