The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1875-07-28
LIVING ON THE OLD MAN.
How u Fmrmew ssFHG'' His Sons for
College and feumd Them
Fla for Nothing.

QlgndDt FARMER TOOLu " NcAS Htc WVcS.
The story is appropriate for this COM
meneement season:
MIsTUR EDITUR: / haint no edica-
ton, and l thank God for it-Gov. Lip
pitt said in his Kollege speech that edi-
cation paid better than mortgage at six
per cent.
Governor Lippitt, ask you, have you
got such things as three highly edicated
sons on your hands, what can't supp 1t
themselves, and all living on the old
man You know you haint, and as
have, guess | know as much about this
edication matter as you do. | cuss the
day when liturray ambishun broke out
inr nv faInily--I fit three SONS to Kollege,
and if had not had one left to stay on
the farm and work with me, We should
all on US be takin a deep interest in the
annual appropriations for the poor OF the
town.
My Silas studied law. and all the writ
be has yet seen, has been on hisself. He
has to sware out of Jail three times
week, regular trips he makes, Monday,
Wednesday and Friday, like the Rhode
Island from Stonington.
He has got pretty little Hofis as
ever you see, with the legal work OF
Smollet, Byrons, and all them great ju-
rists ranged on sheives-the portraits of
Rufus Chote and that CURL what dances
so good at The Theatur, hung up on the
walls. We furnished him with all those
necessaries of the legal profession, and al
though he smokes and drinks beer, and
does all young lawyer ought to do to win
confidence and public esteem, it is all no
go.
He belongs to ten secret societies, and
/ tell him | wish to God he'd jine one
so secret that his creditors could not find
him.
He buys all his tobacco in my name
for fear of its getting attached, and as
for his beer, he drinks up FIVE dollars
worth at time, and then swares right
out on it. He is getting low spirited now,
and SAYS that all the Blackstone he wants
to know about is the Blackstone river,
with big stone tied to lis heels, which
made his mother cry, but told him he
was of age, and / had no control over
him.
Poor Silas when he graderaled at kol-
lege, his orashun was on "a classical
edication indispensable to success in
life
His mother and / cried in the Baptist
Church when we heerd him deliver it,
we didn't know what for then, but hev
since found it, | tell Silas that the only
chance | see ahead for him is to take to
drink strong, then reform, and may be
the temperance folks will shove him
along to keep him moral and steady.
My tother boy, Ezra, studied for to be
a doctor. The first case he had was
Hawkins, that was gored so bad by Oh
ney's big bull. Hawkins had six good
bull muxed with him, which made it
a bad case. Ezra wanted to be sure, so
he gave him all the medicine he had on
hand at once. just as Hawkins was
dying, he writ an affydavit that the treat
ment he received from the Bull was gen
er0us and humane compared with that of
his Doctor. Hawkins widow sued for
malpractice, and her lawyer told the jury
that NJ. ID. stood for murdurus doses,
and that Ezra was drunk, and that
he was a Doctor of many drains
but few scruples. At this joke the Judge
and jury laughed like split, and they gin
big verdict agin Ezra, and he had to
run off to Californy.
He drors small drafts on me often, so
we know he is alive, which is more of
cumfurt to his mother than to myself
When Ezra graderated his orashun was
on ''Kollege a Purtection Against the
Kalamities of Life" His mother and |
cried bad then, and we have since found
out why.
But the saddest case of all was our
poor little Calvin. At the time when
unthirking youths are spent in laying
stone walls or hoeing corn, Calvin was
seriously thinking of the more important
work of saving souls. He entered college
and was finally settled over large parish
at Heilburn Woods.
For few years things went smooth
He not only saved other souls, but
he meekly accepted his portion Of
the trials and discipline of life by
getting married and raising up little
family of souls of his own manufacture.
Then his parish got tired of him and
told him to quit, and they turned off as
they do ministers, by passing lot of res
olutions about the pain it give to sunder
such tender and hailed ties.
He and his hull family come home to
us, and arter we got about used up with
them, got Calvin's life insured for all |
could, and he sailed ten months ago as
commissioner to lot of ferocious cant
balls. | have prepared my mind to see
soon from the king of the tribe a letter
something like this:
''MY DEAR SIR: Your son Calvin
arrived in good condition. While we
regret to state that he disappointed us all
sadly in regard to the amount of gravy,
it give me pleasure to add that he was
tender and small-boned Should any
other member of your estimable family
feel inclined to Christianize us, send him
along. We can stand it as long as YOU
can"
Poor Calvin's orashun was on sThe
final results of the missionary enterprise"
My other son was not edicated, and
has staid on the farm, and is the support
and comfort of our declining years. He
is so ignorant that he thinks the New
\ ork Weekly is the ablest paper in the
world, and the prevailing impression on
his mind is that William the Conouerer
took an active part in burning the Gas
pee.
For all that, he can support himself,
and has money in the bank, which is more
than his edieated brothers can say. Nv
opinion is that law ought to be passed
making the corporation of college liza
BILE for the debts of all their graderates.
This would make them all plagy careful
not to edicate any but them what was
fit for it, and others might be spared
what me and my poor wife has suffered.
Not N Communists.