davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03
I0D PRZ0r41NG

HIS CocoANUT.-He had seen
cocoanuts before, but never had
one in his hand. The old woman
sat in the wagon and held the
lines while he entered grocery
and purchased one. They turned
it over and over, and regarded it
closely and curiously, but drove
homeward without asking any
questions.
Next afternoon the old man en-
tered the grocery, coeoanut in
hand and inquired:
els this a reg'lar eocoanut?"
"Yes, and a good one, too," re-
piled the grocer.
oval, the burned thing has bust
ed me, and it's a heap too much
for the old woman; we've turned
it over more'n q hundred times,
and blamed if I can find the hinges.
Where in thunder does che un-
loekw
When the amused grocer ex-
planned matters, the old man look-
ed crestfallen, and turned away
with the remark: -.-.
"Durned if I knowed any more'n
a muleE"
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03
A JOK e THAT KICKED
BACK.

They are telling ajoke, writes
cell Perkins," on Charley Backus
to-day. Charley tells it on him.
self, too. It seems Charley drove
up through Stamford. Conn.,, yes
terday, with Lem Read, Of poor
dead Dan Bryant's Minstrels, for a
companion. As the train gotready
to leave, Charley says:
"Lem, let me show you a good
joke-I'll get a splendid joke on
that old duffer sitting in the sta
ton. Now you watch"
Then as the train began to
move out slowly, Charley. rushed
into tho station, shook his fists in
the strangers face, and called him
miserable, mean, thieving scoun-
drel.
30, you rascal" |" said Charley,
"I've got you at last you bloody
old scapegrace, and now I'll lick
you to an inch Of your life.-
L"
"Charley! Chsrley!" shouted
Lem, "the train is off-run I" and
Charley left bis astonished victim
and rushed back into the Car.
"Where! where!! is the man
who wanted to lick mo all over
New England ?" shouted the old
farmer as he ran to the door OF
the station with his spectaeles in
one hand and o crumpled Tribune
in theother. "Wherei is he-show
him to mer'
"Here he is" said Charley from
the end platform of the last car
as it moved out, holding his thumb
and finger to his nose. ...
"Wall, here I am" said the old
farmer, shaking his fist at Char.
ley,. "and I'll be goA blasted, ef ]
don't lick h-ll-". -.
"Ding!-dong!-dingi-dongr'
interrupted the locomotive bell,
and
Alas for Charley! the train
backed back. The outraged man
in thestation rubbed his eyes, went
out on the platform, saw Charley
through the window, and went for
him. Three times he chased the
poor, misguided minstrel around
the train. He finally caught him,
and the poor man only escaped
by leavingan So hat and the lapels
of a $50 coat in the outraged far.
mer's hands.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

How THEY LEARN.-The rapid.
ity with which females adapt
themselves to the circumstances
and fashions with which they are
surrounded, and especially the
fashions, is simply marvellous
One Monday a lady in Western
city, who employs several domes.
tics, got a new table-girl, just ar.
rived in the city from rural dis
tricts-a bright-eyed, ,rosy-cheeked
damsel who blushed whenever any
of the male members Of the house.
hold looked at her; a girl whose
hair was combed smoothly back
from off her tanned forehead
whose dress had sleeves to it, came
up to her throat and down TO her
feet. <On Tuesday her hair went
up on to the top of her head, and
was coiled up over a-something;
on Wednesday she cut the sleeves
off her dress, turned it in at the
throat, pinned it back and bumped
it out behind, and could look all
the men in the house square in
the face for half an hour without
the hue of modesty sho wing
through her chalk complexion.
Thursday she completed herdegra'
dation by cutting off all but an
inch or TWO of her iont hair.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

To BoYs.-See here, little boys,
we want to say a word to you
While we are with you for enjoy
ment thickly sprinkled into the
web of life, we must not forget
our duties as we go along, nor
must we gel things too badly mix
ed. We admire the old saying,
that there is a slime for every
thing" we like the saying equally
well, that "everything should be
done at the proper. time." The
idea that we wish to convey is,
that you should be regular and
systematic in your habits, and not
do in one hour what is claimed
for another. Always discharge
your d u ty fully and earnestly.
whether it be work or play, each
in it's proper time. You will find
that this rule will make you be-
loved and respected and useful
members of society.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

A boy Of five years was 'splaying
railroad with his sister. Of two
and a half years. Drawing her
upon a footstool, he imagined
himself both the engine and the
conductor. After initiating the
putting noise Of the steam. he
stopped and called out: "New
York." and in e moment after
aPatterson," and then "Philadel-
phia." His knowledge Of towns
was now exhausted, and at the
next place he cried "Heaven."
His little sister said eagerly, "Top,
I des III dit ont here"
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

An Englishman said to q Yam
kee: "Don't you ever ave any
auks in your country2 don't re-
member seeing any. How strange
it is to live in country without
any auksl" "Auks ? suks?" replied
the other. 20, yes, I see. Big
birds; little wings; sits on the
rocks in a row, like Dundreary's
night-shirts; dives after fishes.
No; don't know as we have any.
Some, perhaps, in Alaska; thrown
into the bargain when we bought
the country" "Nothing Of the
Sort" replied the other; "you
don't understand. I don't mean
big bird with little wings,
that dives after fishes. I mean
an auk-a small bird with big
wings, that goes after the Ms"
30, I see. Yes, we've plenty Of
them. You mean a hawk"
"Well, I said an aux, didn't l."
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

We find the following in an ex-
change, and trustevery young man
in this community will profit by a
careful perusal. Read it and then
cut it out to hand down to your
posterity:
II know a man who is very rich
now, though he was very poor
when a boy. He said his father
taught him never to play till all
his work for the day was finished,
and never to spend money till be
had earned it. Ifhe had but a halt
an hours work to do in a day, he
was taught to do that the first
thing, and to do it in half an hour.
After this was done he could play,
and my young friends all know
he could play with a great deal
more pleasure than if ne had
the thought of his unfinished work
on his mind. He says he early
formed the habit Of doing every
thing in it's season, keeping every
thing in its place, and it soon be-
came perfectly easy for him to
do so. 1t is to such habits that
be owes his present prosperity.
am very happy to add that he
delights to do good with bis
riches and has many warm
friends.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

HARD TO TEL1.-Yestenday
morning when a man entered his
house after an all nights absence,
his clothes covered with blood, his
hair covered with grass, his wife
sternly asked:
"Now then, where have you
been all night?
"Whirivi' bin 2"
eyes, SIR"
"Well," hereplied, looking down
at himself, "You can call it blode
up on a steamboat, or run over by
a tornady-I amt a darned bit
particuler which"
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03
DIR. PIERCE ON PIN-BACKs.

Ihe venerable Rev. Lovlck
Pierce, D. D., has a long g"Farewell
Address to Ladies'" in the South
ern Christian Advocate, in which
he thus forcibly and appropriately
pays his respects to the abomina,
Bile style Of pin-back dresses:
The graduates Of the Wesleyan
Female College have fully verified
all I ever plead in woman's favor
as to original mental endowments,
but have utterly failed to establish
the moral evidence of agreat mind,
by the despising of little things,
especially ridiculous fashions, than
which none more 80 has ever
dishonored your sex than the pres
ent pin-back fashion. Since 1907,
at which time I was stationed at
Aagsuta, and whom tight dresses
on young ladies was carried 80
far that covering all they aimed
at concealment was ignored
This outrage upon womanly pro-
priety went on until the lacerated
sense Of female modesty left to the
surviving matrons Of the day,
and the disgust Of gentlemen
who had a much higher sense
Of woman's place in society than
making herself tho amusement
Of libertines, arrested it by unmis,
taxable denunciation. T b g
shameful dresses were made tight
Willingly. The pattern was as
scant as the dress. But now,
after the advance of mental culture
for sixty-eight years, all that the
fashion-following women b ave
gained, is plenty of goods for a
full flowing dress, but pinDed-back
without any grace, for a graceful
pinning back, every candid woman
will acknowledge, is a natural i'm
possibility. Hence, to make tight,
80 as to meet the most ridiculous
demand Of fashion ever imposed
on women, it is by pinning back
and otherwise ample dress, so as
to force q covered display Of close
wrapped joints and ankle. So has
this mania seized upon our women,
that even elderly ladies, that could
not brook so glaring an exposure,
will nevertheless pinback a little.
How is this? Why is this? There
is not a lady in Georgia in whom
the normal has not been sacrificed
as an offering to the abnormal,
but what will admit this pinaing
back of dresses up to the tight
point is the most supremely ride
ulous and ugly fashion ever taken
on by our cultivated ladies.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03
WEDNESDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 3, 1876.

pie Of young men found her ana
were about to expostulate with
her for causing such delay, but
without q word she pointed with
trembling finger to the hapless
boat.
"Heayen!" exclaimed one, "he
will be certainly lost. No one
could manage a boat ID the fierce
wind and storm that will soon fu-
riously burst apon u.s."
"Who is it p asked another.
'It's Roger Lincoln" answered
the first speaker. II saw him
this morning, and he told mo he
was going across to-day to super
intend the cutting down Of some
| trees. Heaven help him for no.
thing else;can succor him now"
The wind was steadily increas-
ing, and the rain began to descend
in quick large drops, and they
strove to persuade Kitty to 60
home with one Of their mum.
Der. All the girls had gone but
her; but she shook her head
and gazed with a white despair
ing face on the approaching boat.
Roger as making every effort to
reach the shore. Nearer and near.
er be came until they could almost
distinguish his face, and Kitty's
heart began to beat with renewed
hope and joy. O.! the thought to
SEQ him swept away from me so
suddenly and in anger! and her
heart arose in agonized prayers
for his safety. Nearer and nearer
he came. A few moments more and
the shore would have been reach'
ed,and then-then all in q moment,
came a wild, fearful glare of light
ming, and q burst of thunder, &C.
companied by raging whirlwind'
When the little party on shore re-
covered from the shock and fearful
ly gazed upon the now raging riv-
er, the boat had disappeared.
Death had relentlessly swept him
sway and set his seal of silence on
their unhappy quarrel. Kitty was
borne insensible to the cottage
of her urclc, but never awakened
from her stupor. And when,
three days later, they picked up
the mangled form Of Roger Lin
coin on the beach, whittier it had
been driven by the tide, her heart
had ceased to beat. They buried
them side by side in the little
chnrch;yard, where the mournful
cypress cast its sombre shade.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

! A travelling item says that the
Princess Louise, wife of the Mar
quis of Lorne, is executing a bust
of her sister-in-law, the Countess
of Percy, to be placed in Aluwick
Castle, Northumberland. She
comes of aaartistic family; Wales
used to be some on busts.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

George. "Oh, I love the park
so !! I prefer it to Switzerland,
really" Mabel. "Why, George,
you've never been to Switzerland" ="
George. "No, but I've seen it on
the map, and I don't like the look
of it at all"
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

A young man in Lancaster sent
a dollar to q firm in New York
who advertiseda receipt to prevent
bad dreams. He received a small
slip of paper, on which was print
ed, "Don't 60 to Sleep"
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

"How odd it is" said Pat, as he
trudged along on foot, one hot,
sultry day, "that a man never
meets a cart going the same way
be is"
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

a California paper says: "The
nilkmen Of San Francisco have
formed a mutual aid association.
One holds the can while another
pumps"
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03

There is noparticular advantage
in catching a weasel asleep. A
good wide awake weasel answers
every purpose.
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03
SsIsf1tsa gtoru.
UNITED EN- DEAFH.
:
BY NJ. E. CHALLON. .


Kitty Glare stood alone at the
garden-gate. The last rays Of the
setting sun were pouring their dy-
ing radiance through the green
lsaTes of the stately tree thas
lowered above her head, kindiing
into brighter bloom the rosy flush
upon her eheeksand the sparkling
light Of her deep blue eyes. Be-
fore her lay landscape Of une-
apaled beauty resplendent with the
prolific bounty Of the reigning
summer.
But Kitty was evidently not
thinking Of the lovely prospect,
for her changing color and ever
varying shade Of expression told
Of o subject offar deeper interest.
Her gaze was directed Gown tne
road sha stretched sinuousiy
through the shady trees toward
the village. Soon her eager
mstching wss evidently plessur-
ably ended, for. in the distance
appeared the figure Of a young
man rapidly approaching. She
opened the gate and sprsng
alghtly.oat sosmeet him. =
aAh, my dear Kitty" said the
young man, as they met, "you
look like . fairy with that white
4eecy dress enveloping you like q
mist and the glinmer Of the sun
set floating about you," punctua-
ting his sentence with kisses.
HWelb Tguess you'll. ind me
something far more substantiaE,"
laughed Kitty.
$50 / perceive, " said he, saucily,
ss his arm stole around her waist.
g@Bansering thus, they strolled
ahrolghs the gate, and wandered
among the brilliant parterre OF
incoming flowers.
Kitty was the only daughter OF
sarieh heisy-msrchant, and had to
come to Brookville to speod the
summer with her cousin, Bella
Vinton. Bella's home was the
little picturesque cottage standing
in the centre Of the blooming gar
denim whose aowery walks Kitty
was now strolling. It wsshere she
had met Roger Lincoln, the son
of 8 neighboring farmer, and be-
fore the new moon, which lighted
Kistyon herjourney to Brooksille,
had waxed and waned, she had
surrendered to him her hearts
best love.
< $50 you have received sum-
mons home, Kitty" said Roger,
as they retired to a seat in a vine-
endowed summer house.
,4-s,ssYes, Roger, and I must go next
week"
j SWELL, dearest, I will write to
your father tomorrow and tell
him of our love. ! will then &C.
eompanyyou home and receive
his answer"
: Kitty turned lie and heaved a
.tremulous sigh, for she well knew
what q torrent of anger would
swat her when her parents learn
ed that she loved the SOD Of a far
mer She had not impaired her
apprehensions to her lover, for
she feared to pain him.
"Why do you sigh, Kitty; you
surely do aot regret your phghted
trott 70 me?''
.Ah, no, Roger, I was only
thinking Of meeting mamma, and
and" said poor Kitty trem'
bling with solicitude.
"She surely will not be displeas
ed. Kitty. She does not always
expect to keep you with her."
The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-11-03
A SKETCH.

TIE sky is blue and the bright above,
TIE trees have donnsd their soft green
dresses,
And prsttling OUT its lazy love,
The river takes the Suns earssses.
within she corner Of the wood
Where the sun shines something fainter.
Anddaiad the voices Of the Good.
There sit Lady and painter.
And while he works the dsy glides BY,
uasI with pink the hillside aashss;
Ana with haH regretfnl sigh,
Thus speaking, he iingsdown his brushes
stTha light thsstsayeas down the stream,
sor, piercing through an opening slender,
Falls through the leaves with ftfnl gleam-
This light my skin can catch and render
Rss szFees, yenr eyes giveouta light
mat, fheaEh stnve from mesn tiA eyen'
TnsYar can reject sright-
paint the earth. aud not high Heaven.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-07
THE LIGHTNING TRAIN.

With lungs OF iron and wings OF lame, ,
With nerves and sinews OF quiverihg steer,
With ribs OF brass and giant lia'nI,
lie spurns the earth with an aI'sry sI:cR Heei
Through the midnight pi"ck
His eyeballs glare
With CHASTITY stare
ON the startled track,
And be rcnds the sky with scream OF pain
oh a monster grim is the lightning train!
The legend tells OF a mik-white steed
That carried Mohammed from earth TO heaven
As swift as a flash of light her speed
And jeweled feet to her were given;
Each leap was as far
AS the eye hath sight,
And each hoOf as bright
As blazing star,
And a CLEAN like the stTeam that the cou:et yields
Al Borak left in the rosy fields.
wonderful arrow was that of old
That bore Saint Abaris through the land;
1t was feathered with light and barbed with gold,
And sped by the touch OF Apollo's hand.
With n sibilant song
1t cleft the cloud
That shouted aloud
As il flashed along,
And the sea never saw from its throbbing tide
a vision so rare rs the prophets ride.
The Sultan's cap and magical wand
Bore FOTtunatus TO isles remote;
The taliSman took him TO every land
And to every sky in its airy boat;
But the cleaning shaft
From the archer'S arm,
Aaddin's charm,
And the phantom craft,
And the stced that SKINNED the azure plane,
Are all combined in the flying train.
II devours the forest and drinks the lake,
Then plungcs down the wild ravineS
With the wealth OF the world on its burdened back
A sOoty man from the saddle leans,
And 4 murky wreath
Its jaws emit
As he tightens the bit
In The dragons teeth,
And his cheek is swept by the fiery mane-
oh, a monster grim is the lightning train
w. a. G.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-07
Aztec Relies.

A correspondent writes from the City
of Mexico: We visited the National Mu-
scum, where | should like to pass days,
so interesting are its contents. The col
lections of natural history and OF miner
ais are very good, but not 80 attractive
as the relics of the Aztecs and OF their
conquerors. In the court yard is huge
stone which is supposed TO have been the
altar upon which the victims were slain
rs sacrifices, their hearts cut out aud
carefully prepared TO be eaten as sac
rainent. There are also some huge,
grim stone idols, one OF which had a
countenance which reminded me OF the
sphynx in Egypt, with the famous
serpent images sculptured from basalt,
which are presumed 10 have been used
in the worship of the Quetzelcotal-
''the feathered serpent -" the god Of
the air"
In the IT. useum are many curious mu-
sical instruments, weapons and other rel
les of the Aztecs, with some really beau
tiful terra Gotta funeral vases. These re-
ceptacles for remains Of deceased human
ity are nearly two feet high and over q
foot in diameter, with graceful handles
and ornaments of sun-1owers and ears Of
corn. Besides these symbols, the vases
still exhibit the brilliant colors Of blue,
vermillion, yellow and brown, with
which they were originally tinted.
In one room we were shown, On the
floor, the suits OF steel armOr worn by
Cortez, the conqueror, and Pedro de Al
varado, his faithful lieutenant. Both
must have been small-sized men; and /
regretted to learn, after had left the
museum, that there was portrait OF Cor
tez in a stack Of grim pictures Of Mexi-
can viceroys, which we saw piled in a
corner. but did not.examiDe.
It is to be hoped that this wonderful
collection, sight Of which would repay
any antiquarian for a journey to Mexico,
viii soon be arranged asd cataiogued.
! Meanwhile Aztec idols, etc, are manu-
factured near the city, and sold to those
who desire them TO point a moral or
adorn a tale" -.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-07
Large Schools.

The common notion that ali children
should be taught alike is eminently un-
reasonable, on account of the difference
in their prospects and capacities.
Now large school tends to make chill
dren alike, because it molds them all to
one rigid form; but it is the interest
of the community that each child's
special gift or grace should be sedulously
cultivated, not obliterated. We Ameri-
cans are so used to weighing multitudes
and being ruled by majorities that we
are apt TO undertake the potential in
fuence of individuals. Yet we know
that Agassiz's word about fossil fish
Justly outweighed the opinion of the
whole human race besides; that Won
Moltke is worth great armies to Ger
many; that a few pages of poetry about
slavery and freedom by Longfellow,
Lowell, and Whittier have had the pro-
foundest effect upon the public fortunes
of this country during the past thirty
wears; that the religions of the world
have not been the combined work of
multitudes, but have been accepted from
individuals. We must not be led by
our averages and our majorities to for
get that our life may be more precious
than other millions that one heroic
character, one splendid genius may well
he worth more to humanity than multi
tudes of common men.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-08-07
An Ancient Palace.

On the left bank of the Guadalquiver
at the southwest end of Seville, close to
the cathedral, the alcazar, and the to-
bacco mandatory, there rises grand
palace, with extensive gardens fronting
the river for a considerable length, and
onlv separated from it by the magnill-
cent allees, or 1ldmcddS, along which, in
the cool of the evening, the carriage
company" of the pleasure-loving city
enjoy their fashionable drive. Any
home more stately or better situated, or
more perfect Eden of semi-tropical
luxuriance, European royalty can no.
where boast. The palace was originally
the chosen residence of Fernando, that
son of Christopher Columbus who was
charged by his dying father with laying
beside him in his grave the fetters which
Spanish gratitude had requited the great
admiral for the gift OF new world.
The semi-Italian Fernando called the
place SAINT Elmo" name which the
Spaniards modified into San Telmo,
making the saint Spanish saint, and
hailing him as the harbinger of safety,
appearing to the mariners In the shape
of lambent flame at the top OF the
mast of the tempest-tossed vessels when
the storm has spent its fury that flame
which medieval sailors in the Mediter-
rannean called "Il fuoco SAINT" Elmo,
and their classical ancestors Castor and
Pollux." Fernando Colan bequeathed
his house and grounds to the State for
the uses of nautical college, and with
that view it was enlarged to its present
palatial dimensions by the last of the
Spanish Hapsburgs, Charles Ii, toward
the latter end of the seventeenth CEN
tury-that age which combined gran
deur of conception with the utmost
perversion of extravagant taste in exc
cution.