The Arizona sentinel., 1875-07-03
MHSCELL ANY.

A good square meal 81; per-
feet gorge, 1.50," is a sign in
Michigan.
Religion and Medicine are not
tObe held responsible for the blum
derS of their doctors.
Long John Wentworth makes
one plug hat last him nine years,
but he changes shirts once in two
weeks.
Davenport, Iowa, has a girl who
spells backward. We never
thought backward was a hard
word to spell before.
The average gorilla Of Central
Africa now points to Stanley and
hisband of explorers, and enphat-
ically reminds his grand children
that sit is what they may expect
OF come to-"
Queen Victoria will not have a
handsOmer woman than herself
around court, and the consequence
is a collection of females as much
uglier than Susan B. Anthony as
can be imagined.
David Craig, of Americas, KY,
aged Sc, advertises for a wife
about his own age. He is, to use
his own words, "as spry as a girl
10 years Old" has ''life about
him." and does not want an old
lady "whO is not as gay and spry
as he is"
It's we'll enough to be posted in
photography. When an editor re-
ceives a letter saying: Sur
StoOp mi paper. kuss yewp he
doesn't feel half so badly as if the
writer had put his words in
straight English Detroit Free
Press.
Father" replied a Cairo girl,
tears in her eyes, ''yOu may jaw
and jaw, and howl and rip and
tear, but Tll marry John Stewart
if die for it, And the old man
leaned back and realized that he
might as well try to pull a locOmo.
tive up hill.
In responding to the toast, "The
Queen" a jolly EngIishmen, at
the Massachusetts Centennial cele-
bratiOn, said: 81 wish to eX-
press my satisfaction in being with
you here to-day, and my equal
satisfaction at having been absent
a hundaed years ago"
A Delaware man married a WO-
men because she was deaf, and he
thought she'd keep her tongue
still, So she did, but when he
fell into the we'll and yelled him
self hOarse trying to make her
hear, he wished that she had ears
a foot long and could hear a Whis-
per mile away.
NONE For HIM. - "Ish dere
some ledder here for me?" in
quired a German at the general
delivery window Of the office,
Saturday.
"No-none .here," was the re-
ply.
"VheIl, dot is queer" he con-
tinued, getting his head into the
window; "my neigh Dor gets some
dimes dree ledders in one day,
und | get none. Tbays more daXes
as he does, und | hat never got
one ledder yet. How comes dose
dings?"
A strong minded woman. in re-
ferring to the "Effeminate Man."
in a lecture, said: "He is like a
weak pOultice; like a cross be-
tween root beer and ginger pop
with the cork left out; like kit
ten in pantaletteS; like a sick
monkey with blonde moustache.
He goes through life on tiptoes,
and dies like cologne water spilled
On the ground"
ONE OE THE EFFECTS OF THE
TRIAL.-The other evening La
vender said to pretty young la
dy who was boarding in his fami-
ly: 81 am weary nOw-my tired
brain needs rest. Will you take
me to your room, my dear, where
there is a fire, and read MiItOn'S
Paradise Lost to me while | seek
repOSe?"
tPll rest your poor tired brain
with this rolling-pin if you don't
get out Of thiS-yOu miserable,
old deceitful hypocrite - remark
ed Mrs. Lavender, emerging from
the pantry very unexpectedly.
Give the old man a chance, can't
your" yelled the boy, who was
= L l.. L 4 Ia hrl nj III