The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-09-07
Gleanings.

u 4
small mind to make 1t up
Croaky croquet players abound 10 III.
west since tho recent heavy rains.
A rain OF terror-the widespread
storms amoug the western grain crops
All honest mon will bear watching /,
Is only the rascals who cant stand it
The only men who don't get out OF pa
tlents in warm weather-the doctors.
When man has house lot on whsh
be cannot pay the taxes he has site tos
much.
Why is dew like falling star, One
is mist on earth, and the other missed
from heaven.
Why is a solar eclipse like woman
whipping her boy? Because it's a hiding
OF the sun.
What is the difference between tho
north and south pole All the differ
ence in the world
The two most Intellectual things in the
world are undoubtedly a blue.eyed wo.
mans rage and liquor law.
Not straDge-that man with three
"schooners" of lager should find il hard
to navigate when he's half seas over.
''How we done it" is the heading OF .
Duluth newspaper editorial. Send up
some grammars there, quick.
"My face is rugged, but I'm wealthy
will you have me ?" said he. "Yes, in
deed its knotty, but it's NICE" said she.
10 bee or not to bee," as the man
said when he got home and found
swarm of 'em settled on his front door
knob.
The best explanation yet offered for
the disappearance Of Donaldson and his
fellow baloonist is, that they must have
had falling out
Ma. said small boy, approaching
his mother and exhibiting unmistakable
symptoms Of severe pain in the bowels.
"do green apples grow in heaven. ?"
An innocent young man from Rustici-
ty, who entered South street drug store
40 ''''- '--' -. - t---I =. -
young party who called for soda wstor
what kind of seasonin' they'd have,
A western paper has this personal item.
Those who know nice old Mr.. Wilson OF
this place will regret to hear that he was
assaulted in brutal manDer last week.
but was not killed"
New Haven, Conn, has cat which
goes into the water and catches fish. aud
her proprietor wants to have family of
more Of her kind He sees way OF
kitten living without much labor.
A Catskill exchange says: There
isn't any Overlook House now. but msu
keeps shanty up there and charges
twenty-five cents for lemouades, and he's
about as near heaven as he will ever get"
A somewhat iliterate Thomas street
woman, having read in a poem about
simeon that "swep, the plains" is urging
her husband to get one O. them new.faDg.
led thing, for her to use in the kitchen.
A lady living near Troy has a piece OF
soap supposed to be hundred years old
Isn't 1t astonishing how long some people
can keep soap in the house and never
feel the slightest temptation to use /,
A lady correspondent, who assumes to
know how boys ought to be trained writ.
as follows "Oh, mothers hunt out the
soft, tender, genial side of your boys ua
ture." Mothers often do with an old
shoe.
A village pedagogue. in despair with =
stupid boy, pointed to the letter A and
asked him If he knew it. Yes. SIR"
"Well, what is il p IL know him very
well by sight, sir-but rat me If can
remember his name"
An awful fate has overtaken a Texas
lawyer The Bonhsm Enterprise says :
"Joe Dupree made his first speech on
Tuesday, assisting Capt. Sims in the pros
ecution of Alex. Rodgers. The jury
seutenced him to be hanged.
The newspapers state that wei. l.kuowu
banker of Paris has abseonded, leaving a
deficit behind Mrs, Partington think.
that II was very good Of the poor man to
leave it, when he might have got of
clear with everything.
A country clergyman, just recovering
from the effects of severe boil on his
nose, stopped an urchin near Fort Green.
yesterday and asked him the way to
the corner Of Fulton and Clinton streets
. The lad glanced at him suspiciously a
J moment and said "Well, yer needn't 20
there, mister there ain't no gin mill on
that corner"