Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-04-02

iaVoreu fraternity ever existed out OF tne
pages of the Spectator; but OF it had come to
contest, Robespierre would have been run
hard by the cadaverous complexioned singer
of the Pleasures Of Memory, who, when he
sported yellow coat, was dubbed the dead
dandy - and TO whom lord Alyanley once
said Rogers, you are rich enough; why
don't you keep your hearse?" Another like
ly canidate for a seat under Esop's portrait
was Mr.. banning, afterwards Lord Ashbur-
ton. Lord Thurlow, looking IN at Nando's
one evening, when Dunning was playing
whist there, asked the waiter to take a note
up to his friend. The waiter said he did
not know Mr.. Dunning. Take the note
upstairs, = said Thurlow. land deliver it to
the ugliest man at the card-table-to him
who most resembles the knave of spades
The waiter had no difficulty in executing his
mission.
Hedegger, King George lis master Of
the revels, whose furrowed face was likened
to map with a great many rivers on it,
had the reputation OF being the uglest man
OF his time. OF course he afforded rare sport
for the caricaturist, but he wisely took all in
good part, and was ready enough to jest at
himself, even to wagering that such another
Jolly, the fashionable tailor of that day,
one pressed noble customer for a settle
ment of his little account. ''Begone ~ ex-
claimed his ducal debtor "I'll not pay You
till you bring me an uglier fellow than your
self. - Jolly knew of but one man uglier than
himself and wrote to Ileidegger to say His
Grace wished,to see him next day on business.
Heidegger was there ut the appointed time,
and 50 was the tailor. The Duke acknow-
ledged himself beaten, and paid up like
man Jolly must have felt as grateful to
Ileidegger as Sollerini the singer was to
Fanar the ballet-maSter. The first time the
latter appeared at rehearsal, Soldernl,
after contemplating the new conner for few
moments, accosted him with let me
thank you thousand times for coming
among us command me in any way, for
can never sufficiently repay You for the
happiness You have conferred upon me.
AstOunded by such a welcome from man
he had never seen before, tanar inquired To
what he was indebted for it. 40 your
unparalleled ugilness. my dear sir, SAID
Solderini for, before your arrival, was
considered the uglie,t fellow in Great
Britain" still better story Is told of
~
been regarded by common consent, his own
included, 10 be the uglie-t man in the coun-
tv. While ont shooting one day. the justice
met a man beyond all question even worse
looking than he was, ard Immediately
leyelled his gun at the astonished pedestrian,
who cried out TO him not to shoot. "StranE-
er, grayely said the justice, II swore, ten
years ago, that if ever | met man ug.ier
than myself, a shoot him, and you're the
first I've come across" Surveying his odd
assailant from head to foot. the stranger
answered well, captain, If Do look any
worse than YOU do, shoot don't want to
live any longer p" How they settled matters
is not recorded, but NJ doubt the arrangc-
ment was amicabie.
In 1885, q Young trenchman was 80 fool
sh as 10 XIII himself in disgust of hi, own
unhandsomeness, leaving behind him a let
ter saving II leave my remains 10 my father
and mother, regrettin- that they should have
allowed the growth and Development OF o
creature of 81 di-a.reeable a conformation as
their son" Royal Mrabeau. as Carlyle
calls him. who wrote, "lmagiae Il tiger
marked with the smallpox. and my portrait
Is complete like our own Wilkes. found
no difficulty in making headway with the
fair sex.
Every one knows how the fair Diuphiuess
kissed the ugly Alain as he slept in much
the some spirit Sir Joshua's sister, although
She considered Goldsmith 10 be the most III
looking man Of her acquaintance, after hear
ing the Traveller read aloud, declared She
should never think the doctor ugly again.
She was more generous than S0ame Jenyns,
%. l..,l 3D.
bon could write book a strange thing for
him to say. considering that be too was writer
of books, although he bore an immense wen
under his head, and had eyes protruiins
like those of lobster, yet allowing room
for another wen between them and his nose.
Queen Bess. we are told, could not endure
the company of men TO whom nature bad
been unkind, and her guards were careful,
when she went abroad, to diSperse from be
fore her eyes all those whose appearance
wa- calculated to shock Her Majesty beau
tv-loying ewes. When the Duke Of AnJou
proposed for her hand, and sent her his por-
trait Elizabeth informed her suitor that she
would engage herself to no man until she
had seen hl> person. Thus challenged, tie
Duke came TO England, to be seen, bat not
10 conquer The object of his aspiration
saw man with a swelled neck, an ill-shap-
+ Ell nose, a face deeply pitted with smallpox,
and pronounced that such an ugly gentle
man would not do for her.
The famous queen was almost As bitterly
/ disposed towards queer-looking iOlkes as a
[ Persian Shah, who, while hunting, came
suddenly face 10 face with man 50 ugly.
that even the monarch's horse was Mortified,
and ,hying, all hut brought his master to
the ground. In his rage. the Shah ordered
the obnoxious head to be struck of its own
er's shoulders. The unlucky peasant asked
what was his crime. Your crime, cried
the Shah, "is your horrid countenance,
which is the first object to meet my eyes
this morning. and has nearly caused my
horse to throw me ALAS ~ replied the
ugly one, "by that reckoning, what must
call your Maiezty's countenance, since
looking upon it Is to bring about my death ?''
Fortunately, the Shah appreciated ready Wit
as much A. he detested ugly faces, and -
the peasants tongue saved his offending
head
An American publisher who brought ont
little book called Useful 3 HiHN for iglg
G3riS. did not find the venture a remunera-
tive one. And we dare wager the jealous
minded lady who lately advertised for .
really plain brilliancy OF
conversation. fascination of manner, and
symmetry Of form objected to. as the father
IS much at home, and there are grown-uT
s)ns'-was not troubled with many candi-
dates for the vacancy in her establishment
gentleman in want of a housekeepeI
tried an odd experiment he sent out TIVE
advertisements, one for lady of education
and elegant manners, qualified to act as com
panion as well as housekeeper, and wa;
overwhelmed with replies. The only re
durement in the other advertisement was
that the lady should be plain in features
but not solitary applicant appeared to an
swer that appeal.
Do not. however, let it be supposed that
women Of plain appearance are general.
doomed either to celibacy or TO narrow
minded exclusion from domestic manage
ment Nature is full of the most kind,
compensations. With plain features it ma,
give warmth of affection and good common
sense Looking around on the world 0
married women, we see that, on the whole
they have been selected as helpmates less 10
their personal beauty than for other yaluabl
qualities Therein-all anecdotes to tn
contrary notwithstanding-lies the comfort
ing reflection for multitudes of young spin
sters.- ChOm5ers's Journal
How the Democracy Changed a Rule.
WILLIAM sLADE OF VERMONT AND HIS AssAUL
On SLAVERY.
From the Republic. for March.
! In 1898, one William Slade, of Vermont
, introduced into the House of Representative
a fire-brand, in the shape of a motion to re
; fer number of petitions against slavery to
: select committee with instructions to repoi
a bill for the abolition of slavery in the Di,
trict of Colombia. This motion was lik
dropping lighted match into keg of pow
a der. The House at that time was strong
pro-slavery, and Siade was met with a storl
; of indignation. But he was bold maj
: knew his rights. and conld not be choked 0