Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-09-02
GETTING UP WRONG END FIRST.
BY MRS. NJ. sTRATToN BEERS.


don't know what it was that made me
nurse the evil thing whose presence felt
in my heart upon my first awakening in
the morning; but something SO possessed
me that / was not myself.
| remember thinking 81 got up wrong
end first this morning." and laughed a
little, too, at the thought, for was not all
cross it would have taken but a tritle of
something to have made me all right, but
that trifie, whatever it might have been,
did not happen, so | went on getting
crosser and crosser, and all wrong every
way and with my own hand was unwit-
tingly tinging my whole future life with
the somber coloring of a remorse which
can end only when my life ends.
To commence with, my mother told me
to give six ears Of corn to the pig in the
pen. | went pouting and snarling to the
crib, and took whole armful of the
largest ears could find, probably adozen
of them, and threw them into the pen just
as she (my mother) came down with
bucket of clabber.
/ expected a sound boxing Of the ears,
but instead of that she looked at me with
glance of surprise that knew was un-
feigned. She did not expect that of me at
all and instead of being angered she was
ETIpNeu. nc 1oDh VI SUI piiDC VIII tHtsS
words were all the punishment received:
Why, my. SOM"
In less time than / can write this for
you to read | had scrambled over the
fence into the pen, gathered all but six
ears up and was away to the crib with it.
OfcOurse | was ashamed; what boy of
thirteen would not have been? Besides i
was ashamed that | had let my mother
with her frail, delicate figure and her
slender white hand carry the swill down
10 the pig simply because she had not
supplemented her order about the corn
with the one to "carry along the swill"
So went i'm and commenced to tease
my elder brother by catching his algebra
and throwing ii across the room. felt
sure he would retaliate by at least a cross
word, and felt that would be relief to
me; but he did not; he gave me look that
would have twin-mated the one my mother
had given me down at the pen, look in
which were mingled, though not blended,
surprise, love and pity that was thus
troubled with a spirit SO unusual to me.
This second time Of giving away showed
even to me, at the moment, that was get
ting worse, that the good in me grew less,
the evil greater; for ! did not go and
pick up the book to undo this wrong, as
udu lId DdIh IuG VIII w MANI tiiat
right again; instead, goaded on by some
impulse, kicked the book out into the
hall, then with second heave | sent it
out the door into puddle of water that
mad been left there by shower which had
come to us during the night.
This.frightened me, and caught it out
as soon as it touched the water but not In
time to save the leaves, many of them,
from being wet and sOiled.
"Oh, Laz.! did not mean to do that,
indeed did not" / said, carrying the
book in to my mother, who, having seen
the whole performance, now stood with
cloth in hand To wipe the dirt and water
from the leaves.
NY brothers name was Lazarus, but we
always called him LaZ.' for short.
81 know you didn't mean to, Grip, but
that don't make the book clean and dry
if it would should be tempted to forgive
you on the spot you look as if you we've
sorry enough Eli, little Bud ?"
My name was nothing more nor less
than Agrippa. Grip" was my nick
name, and Little Bud" or Buddie,"
was the name my little sister Honore gave
me to distinguish me from Bid Buddie,"
or big brother, as she could now say plain
ly, and we had grown into the habit, all
oil US, OF calling Laz. Bid Buddie,n and
they OF calling me Little Buddie,"
Lac. had come up to where | stood by
my mother, as he was saying this, and
now he threw his arm around my shout
ders, and | caught the same look in his
sweet, blue eyes again; only love FREEDOM
mated now, and was heightened by the
spirit Of pardon which was SO freely given
me for my objectionable rudeness. 1t was
objectionable. / could not have forgiven
ii, am sure. do not know what pos
sessed me; because / could not forgive
myself, felt and acted as If they had not
forgiven me, nay, acted as if had been
the offended instead of the offender.
You can forgive me on the spot. or
not, as you choose, Mr. Lazarus. | am
nowise particular" and strobe away out
OF the house and down to the barn, and
amused myself, until Kitty Duff called as
to breakfast, by skimming stones on the
duck-pond.
hadn't bit Of appetite that morning,