The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-10-14

Political necessities are the mothers OF
conventions.
Support home institutions-support
your families.
Evening gray and morning we'd
Sends the farmer wet to bed;
Evening red and morning gray
Il the cure sign of very fine day.
It is now proposed to enlist men i'll
the army as cooks, and ut each recruit
ing depot to establish school for their
training.
Aman was once asked if he had everseen
a red blackberry. "To be sure have"
said he /" all blackberries are red when
they're green"
The time honored crush " at Yale
College between the sophomores and
freshmen did not come off this year.
The faculty forbade it.
A Miss Hergent, of Kansas, has fallen
heir to an estate valued at $1OO, 900, and
scores of impecunious young fellows are
urgent to become her gent.
There are several roads to the divorce
courts, but there is none more travelled
than the one via the fashionable dress
and bonnet making establishments.
When you've nothing to do but futter about,
Gossiping as you tlit,.
Just take our advice, step down and out"
Give up the ghost and "git."
Governor Kirkwood, of Iowa, recently
said he honestly hoped to see the day
when in going to the polls we shall take
our wives, daughters, and sisters with
us. p"
A gentleman in Nueces county, Texas,
has field of sixty thousand acres with
in one fence. He recently filed an Or
der by telegraph for twenty-sixthousand
beeves.
"Have you caught any fish, bub9"
asked gentleman of a small urchin that
was fishing. eyes, sur, a good eel
said he, exhibiting one about eighteen
inches long.
The expressing of dead Chinese from
California to China has become thrifty
freight business. Each one, when hv-
ing, keeps constantly on hand his coffin,
duly labeled and directed to destina-
| ton.
There is a man in Iowa who never had
any eyes. The skin grows over the
place usually occupied by them the same
as over the rest of the face. 1t is per-
haps unnecessary to add that he is stone
blind.
All old gentleman, with kind but de-
termined look on his face, said :" The
next time that boy refuses to go on an
errand I will go for him." The boy
heard of the kind offer, and concluded
to go as told.
A cubic inch of gold is worth STAG;
cubic foot, $252, ,288. The quantity of
gold now in existence is estimated to be
SO, 900, 100000, which, welded in one
mass, could be contained in a cube of
twentythree feet.
A Mormon in Provo, of whom Captain
Goldman tells in the GALAXY, is ninety
two years old, and the father of sixty
children, the eldest of whom is seventy
years old, and the youngest sixty-seven
years his brothers junior.
An Edinburgh lover received the
following note, accompanied by a bou-
quet of flowers: "Dear - / send
you bi the boy bucket of fours. They
is lik my love for u. The nightshade
menes kepe dark. The dog fenel menes
L am your slave. Rosis red and posts
pail, my love for you shall never fale. -
| NOW, JOuuS HAL, NiIilO VIC bcll
you how to pop the question. Get the
young lady well cornered where no one
can overhear you, and then poke this
be only twenty-five letters in the alpha
bet ?" Answer" When you and are
made one." After that it is plain sail
ing.
When you meet small youth playing
the drum, at the head of lot of two
foot soldiers, with stick and brass ket-
tie, you may know that his mother has
the preserving fever, and has sat down
to wiring her hands and wonder " what
on earth has become of that boy" she
sent after Mrs. Jones kettle two hours
ago.
A reporter for the Philadelphia Press
has learned from Mr.. Ross that Mosher
and Douglass approached patrolman,
some time before Charley Ross abduc-
tion, with a proposition to assist them in
the abduction of little grandson of Com
modore Vanderbilt, whom they intend
ed to hold for ransom for the sum of
$4,000.
1t is the earnest opinion of the Detroit
Free Press that when one sees little
ragged, homeless waits shivering on the
streets, and realizes tha5 they may grow
up to become Philadelphia detectives
and hunt for Charley Ross, it makes one
feel that they might better be laid away
now and have bushy tailed lamb carved
on their headstones.
A lady asked her little boy "Have
you called your grandma to tea 2" eyes.
When 1 went to call her she was asleep,
and I didn't wish to halloo at grand
ma, nor shake her; so 1 kissed her cheek,
and that awoke her very softly. Then 1
ran into the hall, and aaid pretty loud:
Grandma, tea is ready And she
never knew what woke her up"
He started air-coloring establish
ment and got rich in two years. He at
tributes his fortune to persistent adver-
tising. This is one of his advertise
ments Generation after generation
passeth away, the fires of the armament
are extinglished and rekindled, the
hopes that color the dreams of Cesar
fade like streaks of the morning cloud
into the infinite azure of the past. but
hair dye-blessed, magical hair dye
asserts an everlasting dominion and
crowns the hoary poll of age with the
capillary glories of iocund youth"