Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-06
Odds and Ends.

BUFFALO expect to have profession.
al base ball club next year.
FAST friends are good to have about
when friends are needed, but they
should not be too fast.
A Council BLUFF doctor hangs out a
sign inscribed, CDR. II. O. Greene.
Medico Electricio." O!
WHEN is a horse trot like house
When the entries are closed.-Louis-
ville Courier.
NOTHING is so good for an ignorant
man as silence; and if he was sensible
OF this he would not be ignorant
Saadi.
A. S. D. S1vAs, an Englishman,
owns cur valued at $50, 900, and there
are still wealthy idiots enough in that
country to pay that amount for it.
A BURGLARY out West is supposed to
have been the work of the James boys,
as it was done by jimmies. Richmond
Enquirer.
WHEN man listens to you very at
tentively, either you are telling him
something he knows Or something he
disbelieves.
IHE prisoners in the Nebraska State
Penitentiary publish newspaper The
round of the local reporter is somewhat
contracted.
WHERE ten men will cheerfully lay
down their lives for woman, only one
will carry her scuttle of coal.-Daa-
burg NeWs.
SAM Music has been arrested for MUIR
der in Illinois. He can plead self-de-
fense-so many people have murdered
psalm music.-Boston Globe.
WHEN at trial match of sausage
making machines in Cincinnati one of
them amputated the hand of it's exhibi-
tor, heartless bystander remarked that
| it took the palm.
The largest pocket of gold ever found
IN Nova Scotia has been lately struck in
the Oldham district, the contents
vaguely estimated to be worth between
81, 900 and $4,000.
| The man who sits around whiting.
waiting for something to turn up, is
sure to be rewarded for his persever-
ance at last-when he will see his own
toes turn up.-Chacogo Journal.
IMAGINE the horror of an up town
! mother, whose three-year- old daughter
addressed her with, Mamma, my dolls
played out and / don't want any more
rag dollies or china dollies; I want a
meat baby. "-Easton Free Press.
THERE once was time in the good long age
When twas modestly said ''she's two strings
to her bow"
| But the Portland grill thinks tbs hardly the
thing
| Unless she can say Eve two beaux on the
string.
Portland argus.
An Indiana girl waited to see if her
lover really loyeu me- and she got boy
to yell "mad dog as they were walk
ing out. The lover few over fence
and left her to be chewed up, and, she
went right away and married store
keeper.
IT is generally conceded that Lots
wife wouldn't have looked back, but
woman with primitive pull back dress
on passed her. and the temptation to
see how it was made overcame her fears
of impending doom and she was sailed.
Miss WALKER, of Brooklyn, N. Y,
has assembled some of the most difficult
peaks OF the Alps, this summer.-Er.
change. This peaks well for her dar
ing. We would rather be lady of that
kind than dollar-store girl.
LITTLE Alice was crying bitterly. and
on being questioned, confessed to have
received a slap from one Of her play
fellows. You should have returned
it" unwisely said the questioner. .'Oh,
I returned it BEFORE" said the little
girl.
Do you know what girl should be
alphabetically She should be amlable,
b and. charitable, domestic, economic,
forgiving, generous, honest, industrious,
judlcious, kind, loving, modest, neat,
obsdient, pleasant, quiet, rejecting,
sober, tender, urbane, virtuous, watch
full, 'xemplary, Us, and Jealous.
A CoUNTRYMAN went to see his lady
love, and, wishing to be conversational,
observed: The thermomokron is
twenty degrees above zelon this even
ing. = Yes" innocently replied the
maiden, ''such kinds OF birds do fly
higher some seasons of the year than
others.
AM yonng woman named p,
Ny hustle is bigger than me-
Hubble, dear, did find
The times was behind,
so just put the Times behind me,
dolng to meet Flora McFlimsey.
IHR consolidated Virginia Silver
Mine, OF Virginia City. Nevada, is now
yielding more thau q million dollars
worth OF silver per month, and the stock
sells at $3.50. The stock of no other
company in that mining district is quot
ed higher thar $83 per share.
A NEGRO being asked what he was in
Jail for, said it vas for borrowing
money. But" said the questioner,
they don't put people in jail for bor-
rowing money" Yes" said the
darkey, "but had to knock the man
down free or TO- times before he would
lend it to me.