Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1875-12-09

aS Sou cOuuSoS otopaye0. HI
English hare thsir ,Jos Miles, ~
Germans their SchiltkurRer and theil
ryll EslI I: - R;sgs.. =. - ...;l. Asssissss IS! !.
Nasi-reddin el Khejah, and, in the
same way. the chosen godfathers OF
Of Russian humor are Balakireff, the
jester, and Marshal Suvoroff. The lat.
ter name has long since passed into
history; but the former requires some
introduction to non- Russian readers.
Popular traditions unite in represent
ing Balakiref as the constant after dant
Of Peter the Great, who figures largely
in all the stories attached to the name
Of this buffoon. Many of these stories
are probably the fabrication of latter
age; but a far proportion of them bear
marks Of authenticity, and, as fair spe-
cimens of national hdmor, are worth
quoting.
On one occasion Balakireff begged
permission of his imperial master to at
tach himself to the guard stationed at
the palace, and Peter, for the sake of
the joke, consented-warning him at
the same time that any officer of the
guard who happened to lose his sword,
or to be absent from his post when
summoned, was punished with death.
The newly made officer promised to do.
his best; but the temptation of some
good wine sent to his quarters that
evening by the Gear, ''to moisten his
commission" proved too strong for
him; and be partook so freely as to be-
come completely screwed" While he
was sleeping off his dehauch, Peter
stole softly into the SOON. and carried
off his sword. Balakireff, missing it
on awaking, and frightened out Of his
wits at the probable consequences,
could devise no better remedy than to
replace the weapon with his own pro.
fessional sword of lath, the hilt aud
trappings of which were exactly sim
silar to those of the guardsmen. Thus
equipped, he appeared on parade the
next morning, confident in the assur-
ance Of remaining undetected, if not
forced to draw his weapon But Peter,
who had doubtless foreseen this contin-
gency. instantly began stormiug at one
Of the men for his untidv appearance,
and at length faced round upon Bala-
kireff with the stern order, Captain
Balakireff, draw your sword and cut
that sloven down."
The poor Jester, thus brought fairly
to bay, laid his hand on the hilt as if
to obey, but at the same time exclaimed
ferventiv:
'Merciful heaven let my sword be
turned into wood y
And. drawing the weapon, he exhib-
tied in very deed harmless lath.-
Even the presence of the Emperor was
powerless to check the roar Of laugh
ter which followed; and Balakireff was
allowed to escape.
The testers ingenuity occasionally
served him in ex.ricatinc others from
trouble as we'll as himself A cousin
Of his, having fallen under the displ.a-
sure of the Gar. was about TO be exc
cuted. and Balakireff presented him.
self at court to petition for a reprieve
Peter. seeing him enter, and at once
divining his errand, shouted to him:
It's no use in your coming here; I
swear that 1 will not grant what you
are going to ask 2
Quick as thought, Balakireff dropped
on bis knees, and exclaimed:
Peter Alexeinvitch, / beseech you
put that scamp of cousin Of mine to
death!
Peter thus caught in his own trap.
had no choice but to laugh, and send a
pardon to the offender.
During one of the Cars Livonian
campaigns. thick fog greatly ohstruc-
ted the movements of the army. At
length a pale, wintry gleam began TO
show itself through the mist, and two
of the Russian officers fell to disputing
whether this were the sunor not Bal
akireff, happening to pass hy ut that
moment, they appealed to him to decide.
Is that light yonder the sun, brother?'
How should know!' answered the
Jester; I've never been here beforep
At the end of the same campaign
several officers were relating their ex.
pioits, when Balakireff stepped among
them. I've got a story to tell, too,
cried he boastfully; "A bigger one than
any Of yoursr
Let US hear il. then, answered the
officers; and Ba!akireff began.
Il never liked this way Of fighting,
all in crowd together, which they have
nowadays; it seems to me more manly
for each to stand by himself. and there
fore / always went out alone. Now it
chaneed that one lay, while reconnoiter.
ing close to the enemys outposts, |
suddenly espied Swedish soldier living
on the ground just in front of mel
There Was not a moment TO lose be
might start up and give the alarm. /
drew my sword rushed upon him, and
ut one blow cut of his right foct'
You foolr cried one of the listeners,
syeu should rather have cut of bis
beadr SO / would, answered Balaki.
ref, With a grin, but somebody had
done that already!
At times Balakiref pushed his way.
geries too far, and gave serious ofenss
to his formidable patron. On one oi
these occasions the enrseed Emperor
sun,marily lanished him from the court,
bidding him never to appear on Rus.
sian soil again. The jester disappear.
ed accordingly: but a week had hardly
elapsed when Peter standing at bis win.