, 1875-07-11

II you don't brtdls your tongue, saddls b. yu
fate.
4 musical amateur writes to ask it the old Es
| glish song, IA Single SEnl1a" furnished tn
the theme Of Wagner's 'Lons-grin."
"Fal,us in t4no, fatsus in omnibus~-as Ii
Brooklyn man said when ho chucked pewtA
Scent piece into tho fase-box OF BroadWs
stage.
Talking about comfortable sleeping acccnma
dations for this warm weather, tbs CAPTAIN r.
! marks: "Tbe sailors swinging bed u the cool
est hammock 'quainted with"
4 reformed inebriate latelY informed Ne.
England audience that any one who will take q
orange everymorning half AL ho,:r before breal
FIST will te kept quite out orange OF alcohol
temptation.
''Division OF labor" First swell" Deuca
hot Fwank! Call cab" Second swe1-"Ia
you what, old fellow. You shout, and l.lI boh
up umbweltar- Get through it that way" Pia.
adopted-Puaca-
few days sinco farmer IVES saying that b
had planted an acre-and-arhah OF posAIoes au
he feared they would be destroyed Dy tho potato
bugs. Are tbs piants up yet7" asked \ BY
stander. mo" replied the farmer, - ont III
bugs are sitting On every hill waiting for them
"Dan," said 4-5ear Old, ''give me sixpeno
in the house now" replied the elder brother
"Who is it, Dan ?" ASKED the little fe1lox
"You," was the reply. - Then give r1e siSpeucs
to buy the monkey souo nuts.' Tho brothz
could not 1eaist-
Having frequently appealed to his father Il
buy him = jaek-knifa, and receiving fer Ina
answer, - II you speak TO me again on that sub
ject. I'll whale you, " ho Eent straightwsy to hi,
mother. crying as 1t bis heart would break, enc
SAID, IS can't never be good like George Wa4h-
ington, With such dad AZ I've got"
In Detroit, recently. xhen q crowd hsd cox
lected around = boy who had been run orer and
badly hurt, man rose up and said. I'm sozry
your attention to ny now patent clothes
uringer, 1t is warranted to-" It that point he
came down on the Pavement, several partiea
stamped on him, and, ~ he Vas being sEorged
on in drug store. ho inquired. l. this Te1as
or Aichigan2"
location Of the u1cll-ne.run1peted natlor III COLI
lego OF music in the Een1ra: Park, New York.
Tho arguments in lts favor are that the epvt IN
which It is proposed to place tt, coi:~ge ia ore
between the tao Croton reservoirs, TO sitaatcd
that Tor park purposes it is OF I's:lo value, ~h1ls
The museum Of arts WAS already chartered to be
built there, and the college would probably
merely occupy portion of this intended build
ing.
4 ragged. forlorn-looking bc7 ras s.ro1ling
around the Southern Depot yesterday tanoalnE
the stub OF cigar, when pa'lanthropsss IN
marked Take 1t, bnb fee! so7rv fer rou."
mo yer don't, exclaimed .he hey. daring
thing for il" replied the n1an. II know you"
continued the boy, his eyes twinkLng: '-you
want mo to promise to grow up and :,eeouo
President, and I aiat going to tie myse1g up f~r
any mans 10 cents De&roa Free Press.
A family group is enjoy1ne rural breakfast
in tho Rols de Yinceunes. While they are hel:-
ing themselves out Of an immense bowl os fresh
milk set before them IN tho grass, the youthful
Ned (etat s. stoutlv refused TO taste 1t, under
dessert. The milk having bean disposed VI. his
mother remarks: 81 Why, Ned, you must b. eick.
know rou are very fond of milk, Why wouldn't
you have anyf" ''Becanse-
's9peak out. dear tell me Why" well. its
because there il = big toaa in the BOWL" Tho
thunderstEuck guests =: once investigate the
bowl, II the bnttom Of which the de.d body es 4
toad Is found lou little fool," exclaims 4 .
pate1famllias, +'why didn't you say 10 pefe1 f.
''lIl tell you, pap, replies the ingenious N {;
Ut know mamma is very much afraid Of to &
and ITldn't waat 70 ttlRhtaa kee"