The Arizona sentinel., 1875-04-17

A Watertown reporter was sack
ed by his girl because he did moi
have beard enough to tickle hel
face:
a young man in New Haveu
cancelled a three months boar
bin the ether day. 15 marrying
his landla ".
There are thirty seven differ
snt kinds t depra vilyiu Chicago,
/ besides til total depravity OF the
chicago I1naeS.
A child being asked what the
three great feasts of the Jews
were, promptly replied: Break
fast, dinner, and support"
After ALL" says an old doctor,
there are only two kinds of dis
ease, the one of which you die,
and the other of which you don't
Fond du Lac hOtel-keepers chain
their public tooth-bruSbes down,
but when an Oshkosh man wants
a tooth brush no chain will stop
him.
A man in Illinois broke into
the house of widow. She pitch
ed him out of doors. A striking
evidence of the power of the
widows might.
CircuSes never visit central
Oregon, and the only fun the set
tiers have is throwing bOotjacks
at the midnight cat.
When Texan shoots Mexi-
| can all the excuse he has to make
to the corOner's jury is "Blame
my butes if | didn't take him for
a wolff"
A Wisconsin lady opened ma
trimOnial intelligence Office re-
Gently, but she married the first
man who applied, and tie con-
cern came 10 speedy end.
There's where a man has the
advantage. He can Indress in a
cold room and have MS bed warm
before a woman has got her hair |
pins out and her shoes united.
When our American young
men return from a trip abroad |
their principal knowledge of
foreign parts consist in parting
their hair in the middle.
A Missouri woman, who ap- |
piled for a situation as car-driver,
being asked if she could manage
mules, scOrnfully replied; "Of
course l can. Pve had two hus-
band'Sn
A Western editor, noticing the
present Of a silver cup to broth
er editor, says: "He needs. no
cup; he can drink from any YES
sci that contains liquor, whether
the neck of a bottle, the mouth of
a pickle jar, the spile of a keg, or
the bung of a barrel.
"My God, man, he will not live
to serve the half of itp' was the
exclamation of a Boston Irishman
the other day, when he heard
that Friel, who killed a fellow in
the station house, had been SEN
fenced to imprisonment for life.
THE DIFFERENCE. - When a
lady slips on the sidewalk, she !
gracefully sits down and that's
the end of it. A man, however,
always tries to catch himself on
the other foot, drops all his bun
bles, and uses his arms for ba-
lancinp-pole, struggles desperate |
ly for about ten seconds in q vain
to recover his equii-
brium, and finally goes spraWliHg I
like a collapsed wind mill; then
ne sWears.
PUNKIE PL-pUnkin pi IL the
sass IF Eu England. IbeY are
'..J,.e1 III drink, they aI8 JOY o.
the haff-shell, they are glory enuff
for one day, and are good koId or
warmed up. | would like to be a
boy again just for sixty minnetts,
and eat miself phull ov the bless
ed old miXtur. Amy man who
don't luv punkin pi wants watch
ing clusS, for he wants to do some
thin mean the fust good chance
he kan git. Give me all the
punkin pi could eat when i was
a boy and i didn't care whether
skOol kept that day or
not. And now that have grown
up to manhood, and have run for
the Legislature once, and only got {
beat $50 votes, and am thoroly
marrid; thar amt nothing han I
ker for wuss, an kan bury quicker, i
than two-thir1s of a good old fash {
Toned punkin pi, an inch and a
haff thick, and well smelt up with s
ginger and nutmeg. Punkin pi +
IL the oldest American beverage s
kno ov, and ought to go down
to pOsterity with the trade mark I
Ov our grandmothers on it; but !
am afrade it wont, for it is tuff
even now to find one that tastes .
in hA 4 L ! Il