The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1875-06-01

II epeecn IS silver anu &Q1ds Bow
much is dumb man wortb57 g
What table issusefa], though Il hash
legs? The multiplication table.
The saying Excuse haste and bad
Epen'' has been attributed to zig who
ran away from home.
The fellow who asked Tor q lock Of
his girls hair, was informed that 1t
costs money, hair does.
rs that clock right over there r ask
led q visitor the other day. aRisLt oser
there Be s 9 SAID the boys slaia't ! aowhers
The crocus put It's bead out from nm
der the snow and said to its companion,
"you lilac everything if you say this Is
spring"
The latest addition to the umbrella is
pane of glass. inserted in the front
breadth, through which the holder can
see his way.
travelling expenses and five pounds in
weight; those east Of the Rocky Noun
tains $1,000, and those from Oregon,
Nevada, Utah and Colorado $500.
Take life easy, and don't always be
trying to beat the sun up, says M ex.
change. You may win for while, but
in the long run you are sure to be
beaten, and some morning it will rise
when you don't.
1t was an Irish Coroner who, when
asked how he accounted for an extraor-
dinary mortality in Limerick, replied
sadly: IL cannot tell. There are peo.
pie dying this year that never died be-
fore" IA es
There was once Pennsylvania iegis-
lator who laid by thirty Thousand dol.
lars in enc session When he was ask
ed how he managed this with a salary
of one thousand dollars, he said that he
saved it by doing without a hired girl.
On recent trial in Wales to test the
validity of a will, it was proved that in
1869 the testator became impaired in in
telfect to such an extent that he went to
the post office With a postage stamp on
his forehead. and requested to be sent
to place he mentioned.
Sand now, Mrs Sullivan. said the
counsel, "will you be kind enoughTeto
tell the jury whether your husband WAS
in the habit of striking you with impu-
nity2" "Wid what, sir p "With i'm
punity." He was, sir, now and thin,
but he struck me oftener wild his fisht."
The Graphic is authority for the state
ment that during the war, "General
Tracy charged at the head of his Gel.
umn on many a bloody. field, aud after
the battle, has often been seen sitting
underea tree, eombing the cannon balls
out of his hair"
A country youth who desired 10 know
how to become rich, sent quarter in
answer to an advertisement, and receiv-
ed the following valuable recipe: SIN.
crease your receipts and decrease your
expenditures. Work eighteen hours u
day and live on hash and oatmeal
Cruel"
The conditions OF the four miles and
repeat race, to take place in San Fran
cisco, October next are as follows:
Purse, $4,000 in gold coin; $4,000 to
The first, $4,000 to Tie second, $4,000
to the third, and $4,000 to the fourth
horse. Five horses must enter and
start to make race Horses from Eu
rope are allowed $500 in gold for
| He didn't tell the young man not to
come around any more; he didn't bid
his daughter reject the suit; he didn't
sit up at night with a shot. gun. or let
| the fire 90 out in the front parlor. No,
no; he knew plan worth two Of those
he hung out q smallpox fay every even
ling at dusk, and that did the business
effectually. m
A clergyman being applied to inless
than a year after his appointment to put
Iup stove in the church, asked how
Hong his predecessor had been there /;
and when answered, twelve years." lie
said: sWell, you never had a fire in the
church during his time y mo. sir"
replied the applicant; "but. We had FIRE
in the pulpit then"
i Oar revolutionary fathers used to see
tough times. An 9old Virginia book
tells how two of them received fifty
lashes each for being absent from roll
call, and it speaks of another who re-.
ceived 100 lashes for "misbehavior."
| For one months pay soldier of the
Patriot army received $4,000, but he
had to pay $1,000 for cloth enough 10
make coat, andshis buttons cost him
/ 81 900 = Courier Joarnai. M
"Five cents fare for that child, mad
am" said a street-car conductor yester-
day, as he opened the dooraau1 sput his
head in. eVery WE'LL" she replied, feel
| ing in her pocket, "this is an orphan
child and I'm its guardian. 1 must have
a receipt for all money paid out, and as
soon as you write one Ill dropia niekle
in the box" He shut the door and
leanee over the brake like a man In
deep thought.
i The Cleveland Plain Dealer tells oil
IAN Old gentleman at Lodi, who has
. turned into his one hundred and six
!, teenth year. and is bale and hearty
!. though he took good stout nip o
j whisky every day till he was severa
} years over hundred, and only aban
doned it when whisky got too high fol
, his purse. He is waiting for fall in
the market to renew his acquaintance
with the rejuyenator."
General Sherman, in his memoirs
neglects to tell about the length apd
general cussedness of the names o
Georgia rivers 0ne whole day wa,
lost because it took Sherman eight hours
to mention the name of the river th
) leading brigade was to camp on in tn
5 evening. And Sherman himself had II
l take Scotch snuff before he could speal
properly of the ogeeche River.-Ail
acaukes Sentinel.
A Williamstown boy became a ma
in this way While hoeing corn one al
n ternoon he turned to his father, who wa
working with him. and said, "What tim
n is it, fatber?" .iIalf past g." replic
: the senior farmer. Throwing down hi
is hoe, the son graduated from the larme
-.1l Il. Il