The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1875-04-16

When a common japanese goes into
the presence of an Office. holder he must
say: "Great and distinghed child Of the
sun, be pleased to put your foot upon my
neck" There's some pleasure in holding
an Office in tina; country.
Milk sells at one cent per quart at
Faribault, which price, says local au-
thority, will not pay for theswear and
tear Of "a cows tail in switching flies
The following elegant notice in the
change of weather appears in paper:
"The sun Is swinging up the circle
again will soon cross into the oyercoat
line from regions where lighter clothing
and ham and eggs tell us the condition
Of the atmosphere"
They are running a new and powerful
religion in Rhode Island whereby after
three immersions all moral and physical
infirmity is removed. One woman hav-
ing been thus baptised rejoiced ia the
cure Of her deafness, and fdf the frrt
time in years declared she could hear a
watch tick. II happened that the one
she heard was broken and at the time
did not run.
The last letter ever written by Gencr-
al "Stonewall" jackson Is in the posses
sion Of the Southern Historical Society.
1t was addressed to General Lee, under
date Of May 2, 1868, and reads as follows.
"General-The enemy has made a stand
at Chancellor's, which is about two miles
from Charlottesville. hope as soon
as practicable to attack trust that an
ever-kind Providence will bless us wilh
snccess."
Whiteside County Grange, Illinois,
views with unqualified disaproval" the
action Of the National Grange in recon-
mending the Southern Pacific Railroad
scheme for Government support.
"ITere, waiter! waiter!" called Mr..
Rurh, at one Of our city hotels; "bring
me some Of Francis potatoes" The
waiter stared, and said he didn't think
they had any. Haven't any, (" said Mr..
Rural; much you know about your
trade-here, read that" And he poiuted
To this on the bill Of fare; "Potatocs
Ia Francais!"
awake up, Judge, wake up; there's a
burgular in the housel' said Mrs. P0rtly
in Brooklyn, to her husband, the other
night. The Judge rolled out of bed,
grasped his revolver, and opened the
door to sally forth for robber. Then
turning to his wife he said; "Come,
Sarah, and lead tho way. Irs mean
man that will hurt woman"
Business seems to be duh in San An
tonic, Texas, just now The Herald says:
"Times are 20 hard that, when the boy
who goes out on Saturday 10 collect bills
for leading dry goods establishment
comes home with seventy FIVE cents, and
has the ceiling Of his pants worn ont by
the boots ofthe customers from whom be
has collected IL, the proprietor regards
it as n good day for collections"
A GERMAN Bishop who happened to
be Prince, was 80 proAigate that one
of his equals ventured TO speak Of
the scandal he brought, on religion by
his immoralities.
"You mistake" he replied, "I DO this
as a Prince, not as Bishop"
"But," rejoined the other, "if the
Prince goes to HI, what win become Of
the Bishop"
Samuel S. Richardson, aged seventy
three years, for twenty-nine years grave
digger at the Valley Cemetery, In
Manchester, n. H., has just died. lie .,
snid to have dug four thousand graves
during his life. and for his rather para.
doxical services" was recently made
the recipient of a valuable testimonial
from the citizens of Manchester.
The latest addition 10 the umbrella G.
pane of glass. Inserted in the front
breadth, through which the holder car
see his way.