The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1875-02-25
MISCELLANEOUS.

A tea set-the Chinese.
Twisted hemp cures felons.
Something about Whitewater.
Light wines may make heavy head
The key to an uncertain gait-whis-
key.
Collectors know when their work is
dun
Hanging is brisk, but with a falling
tendency.
'sSally, what time do your folks dines"
ssSoon as you go away-that's missus'
orders"
A California man pounded his wife,
was fined 800, and he sold her silk dress
topay the fine"
"Marry a widower! not I % said Ma
tilda. "Babies are like tooth brushes.
Everybody wants their own
els that cheese rich?' asked Bloggs
of his grocer. eyes, was the candid
reply. ssthere's millions in it. %
It has been cold enough to freeze
whiskey, and some of the drunkards
have become solid men.
Forty girls will run after snob with
gold-headA cane, where one will shy
up to fellow with sound horse sense.
Michigan men don't feel as though
they had eloped if they don't leave
wife and four children in destitute cir
cumstances.
The man who is kind and polite to
his mother-in-l law has reached Vicksburg,
and is an object of general interest to
the people there.
A California preacher is preaching on
the best way to raise boys. We have
ALWAYS found a number IA boot about
as effective as anything for raising
them
A Green Bay man thinks it very
wrong for boy to go to circus, but ne
will keep lad turning a fanning-mlll
ten hours, hand him five cents, and
stand and wait for the boy to thank him.
'Tis naught when woman humbugs man,
For that's the good old style;
But OH mans confidence. in man,
Makes countless thousands smile.
Sooner or later, justice certainly over
takes the leader of country brass band.
A bridge came along and struck one on
the head the other day, as he stood on
the top of an Erie freight train.
A young lady who went to the city to
see what was advertised as a ''Spectacu-
Lar Drama came home greatly disap-
pointed. She says not one OF the actors
wore spectacles.
my eyes with tears is red and dim,
Cause he loves she and loves him;
But they'll be better by and by,
When she cuts him and he loves l..
A circuit preacher in Missouri prayed
for rain one night at farmers house,
and the farmer, who had horse race
arranged for the next day, was so mad
that he turned the good man out of
DOORS
ssNow, George, you must divide the
cake honorably with your brother
Charles ''What does honorably mean,
mother?" cit means that you must give
him the largest piece. "Then, mother,
I'd rather Charley should divide it.
It looks bad to see dog preceding its
master down the street, and calmly turn
down the stairs to the first saloon he
approaches. 1t shows there is something
wrong, something lacking, deplorable
tendency on the part of dog.
A lawyer once asked hotel-keeper
the following question eff man gives
you hundred pounds to keep for him,
and dies, what do you do2 Do you pray
for him?" "No, sir, replied the land
lord, IT pray for another just like him. "
During trial the Judge called a wit
ness. No one answered, and an elderly
man arose and solemny said che is
gone" "Where has he gomez" asked
the Judge, III 10 IeHuei 0ouo. uoh
know, but he is dead" was the guarded
answer.
Albany has had her noblemen, too; it
was Count Barli. Of course he was q
rogue in grain. By any other name he
did not smell as wheat, so when they
detected his imposition he ACKNOWLEDGED
the corn, and left to escape thrashing.
A colored preacher remarked: ''When
God made de fust man He set him up
agin the fece to dry ''Who made de
fence p interrupted an eager listener.
ssPut dat man outl % exclaimed the col
ored preacher; ''such questions as dat'd