The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-07-03
BUDGET OF FUN.
"JOOMASTIM."

/ Nnlnhllails experience III 'h' '"'N'''
He is of Chinese descent, and resides in
one of the back streets in the city OF BOSTON
He IS not a merchant, or banker, but blacks
boots for the customers in firstclass bar
ber's shop up town, and receives therefor
the old coats, hats, and shoes OF his employ
ers, and an occasional dime from some OF the
more generous customers, which latter causes
an expression very much resembling intelll,
gence to appear on his otherwise blank anu
detected features.
On Saturday (he always dieads Saturday
the settees about the room were completely
filled with exacting looking gents. waiting
for "shave and shine" and as kau-Sune
counted them over and reflected on the mus
cular exertion that would be required on ms
part to furnish each with an unlmpeachaple
shine 1t suddenly and very naturaiy ~
Cured to him that he had got that horrloie
disease about which he had heard so mucll
the rheumatism. He was not long IN IN
auguratlnc series of contortions and grim
aces of which 1t would be folly for civil
lied American to attempt description. On
being asked by his last customer what on
earth had got into him." he replied "Jooma'
tism?"
1t transplred that his Questioner was the
proprietor of Turkish bathing house on an
adjacent street, and he, feeling assured that
ore of his "stews' would eradicate rheuma-
tism, and taking Compassions on kau-Sune,
obtained his employers permission for that
Oriental to accompany him on a short walk,
and to be absent about an hour, or two at
most He accordingly stepped up to kau-
Sune and said
"Come with me short distance and you
shall soon be rid of your rheumatism
The Chinaman'S countenancc Drlghteneu-I
here was chance to be absent from his la
borious shining for an hour or two, which
Just suited him. He therefore sprang from
his kneeling posture with remarkable alacrl-
ty-for Northumberland holding the door
open, blandly replied:
"Melican man go Qulck,-hau-Sune come
alOngee"
We will not follow the now 18th and lin
Der Chlnaman through the streets, but will
hasten to the above named bathing house,
whittier we soon see him following his guide.
Reaching the office alone, the gentleman, adj
dressing one of the attendants, SAID; Here,
Charley, give this fellow good, thorough
bath, he's troubled with the rheumatism
Kau.Sune is shown into one of the booths
and told to undress as quickly as possible,
which he proceeds to do.
Fright this way" says Charley, bchoding
the now nude rheumatic
Eyes, me come right alongee."
curry ranges at 100 degrees, and told TO sit
there until he begins to persplre. On enter
ing, he suddenly pauses, and facing Charley
with woc-begone expression OF counter
anCe, remarks:
"Bakee Chinaman! Joomatsm all gone"
But Charley retires, locking the door be
hind him, and Kau-Sune soon becomes alarm
ed, ana kicking and pounding with his might,
he screamed at the top of his voice:
"Muchee hot Mclean man let he kau-
Sune out!'
Charley approached through an opposite
door and lmpatiently remarked, "COme along,
and don't make such fuss. Nobody would
take the trouble to bake such lean-l0oking
cat-eater as you"
The unwily foreigner again followed; but
imagine his CONSERVATION on finding that he
had been led into a room sixty degrees hotter
than the one he had left. He was told to lie
down on ore of the leather covered cOuches,
and that, if he made much noise, the next
place he should go would be the furnace itself.
This slenced him for the time being but as
soon as the attendant retired, began again
his expostulatons, and exclaimed through
the keyhole, III more OF pleading than de-
tiant voice;
ale Kau-Sune like to take hot bake like
Turkee man; but must git back and shine he
boots-One, two three-siX Mclean man
want he boots shine! Let him out quick ~
Again Charles appears on tae scene of &C
ton and rather petulantly remarks, Let up
on that racket"
The proprietor of the pigtail advanced a
step, but hesitated lest he should be entrap'
ped into more vivid reminder of what his
future might be, but a breath of cold air from
without decided him, and with hop, skip
and Jump, lie bounded into an adjoining
room He is told to lie down on IA marble
slab, and complying with the request, begins
to undergo the most thorough scrubbng with
hand and feshbrush that ever Heather
Chinee' dreamed of. After being spatted and
shampooned with which he is highly de
lighted he is told to stand up in the opposite
corner of the room, with which request he
readily complies while Charles unknown &c
Kau.Sune), seizes the cod-spray pipe, and
turns its full force on the unsuspecting Orr
entail; but-"Yah, yah, Wh.whooze! XVI
Joope! Let him up! Stop a litte-quickec'
and the water is turned off, kau-Sune is
dried, and as soon as he is dressed, he makes
his way doube.quick time to the barber
shop, where he was never known to be
-rnuhlp1 with "ioomatiSmN arain