The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-02-20
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

She threw her shawl over her head, ran down
Sixth street two blocks, turned into f. and went
one block, and as she entered house she re-
marked: Good evening, Mrs. Smith; how's all
the folks' Husbands sick, baby complaining,
Johns foot Is better, rent is due, and the coal
is out, but | really felt as II it was my duty TO
come and inquire if they've convicted Bcecher
yet?-WdSh. Chronicle
Mr. Nayell, of Toronto, was knocked down by
mistake for another man, recently. He hopes he
will hit the right Nayel on the head next time.
with his mother.in-law, leaving wife and two
children, is the latest instance Of con newly al
infdelity
Schenectady has had convention OF broom
manufacturers. There must be something in
the wind. The resolutions were OF the most
sweeping character.
The principals of temperance says an cx-
change are such as no man can object to prop
agate II is better than to prop lamp post, GER
tainly.
Two young ladies were in love with their min.
lister. One of them for awhile stood first in his
affection, but the other succeeded in catching
up, and finally got pastor.
Miss Mellon, of Kentucky, was recently caught
as she was about to run away with her sutton
You can't-elopc that way remarked Mr.. Mellon,
as he sent her back to bed.
An exchange expresses the hope that cole.
gans won't make the summers regatta the oc
cason for spree. There's no doubt but last
year they proved themselves row bust lot.
Young ladies, don't wear pins in your aprons
We know Of young man with fearful scratch
on his hand who says he tried to kiss his sweet
heart and never got hold Of such pin-afore in
his life.
Mrs Christ has applied for divorce from Mr.
Christ, in the Peoria Circuit Court We always
knew that but one Of this name could live hap
PLY in that village.
Horace White, who made the Chicago TriJuncI
as statistical as the census, is to be an editor on
the New York Tribune
The papers say that General Butler never made
a correct poetical quotation. How could he with
that eye ofhis?
A New Jersey editor, who pretends to be IA.
milar with Spanish politics, saws that Alfonso
wears an ulcer oycrcoat.
According to the new census, eleven millions
OF women in the United States wear calico
dresses, but only twenty thousand can play on
a jcwsharp.- Ddnbury Ee,rs.
A Kentucky woman colared a BURGLAR one
night and showed him into the street But the
next morning when she saw an account of it m
the papers, she tainted She had mistaken the
house breaker for her drunken husband Only
the good nature Of the burglar saved her from
law suit. Women cannot be too careful 1t these
matters
writer says the greatest scoundrel has a |
friend In woman or a dog. What lot of dogs
must follow him.
Most Of the papers are giving 4. =. Lewis IA
the name OF the humorous paragrapbist o. the
Detroit Press L. P. wrong, shentlcmens.
The Norwich aurora says A young lady,
very pretty walked around the new road (seyen
miles in one hour and forty five minutes. We
remember escorting her around the road once
by moonlight Timc-four hours and fcrty.fyc |
minutes But then she said she wasn't m bur |
ry. The old folks had gone to camp meeting"
Woman does a great deal To discourage lofty |
sentiments Of patriotism. When man is lean |
ing over the back fence telling a neigAbor how |
he would shed his last drop Of blood for suffering
Louisiana, il disturbs him to have his wife yell
from the kitchen: Look a herel are you com
ing with hat bucket Of water, or shall ! come
out and see to youY
The Troy Badget says: If you love your girl,
sleigh he- on the spot And II you don't, We
suppose you can cutter
Yes, or hack her.
An Augusta (Nc.) schoolms'nm woke mp al
bookseller at 4 O'Clock, the Of her morning, toI
get key 10 an arithmetic
a BROOKLYN man with club foot was much
comforted by married mar WHO admitted bav
sx dubbed head Brooklyn .irgus.