Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-10-15
Hnn.orous Sketches.

Il wants EN- fur Mary, an the clerk sez
they're the fashin' now tetotallyh
Want 'em fur Mary, do ye? Lihe
blazes kno' ye, ole woman! Ye'd tell
Mary che shouldn't war 'em only on Sum-
day, and ye'd be up two hours for day and
hev ,em on yer own shanks every Sunday
the Lord sent ez long as they lasted, and
never take 'em off :ell the moon was four
hours hight
John, cf get up thar in that waggin,
yell hesh, warrant We j. she said, and she
looked stormy.
oh, yes, but yen hav yer striped socks
Oh fust, won't yer Yer'd look purity.
woodn,t We, with them pcst-rammers
o'yourn all striped mp like a zebry's in a
cirkus ?-'
John eff that p'leecman warnt over
yauder I'D git up thar an thake the peeln'
of,n that billed beet nose quicker
of koarse ye would an do it jest to
show all these Atlanty folkes what kind OF
cotton-seed mashers them is that ye want
Ter rig I'D in stripes tell they'd look like
barberrshop poles made inter wooden legs,
yer would
oh, We jist wait
'I'me hound 10 wait, kase Tine angshus
to see yer nounce round hyar with them
striped socks on, aholdin' yer ole black
gownd up two feet high to step over whar
some man hez spit, jist to show off yer dol
lar pair striped leggins l mind Of that
dollar vardin that yer bought two or three
years ago, and / hain't seen nary show
since-I'me busiin' ter see yer kavortin'
round agin like young saf at humble
bees mass-meeting Here's yer dollar
60 git yer stripes =
She didn't take the money, but gathered
up her bundles and slung them under the
seat, climed in after them, and as the wagon
went out Mitchell street she was working
her mouth In an agony Of rage and felein2
around in the straw TO fnd.where he had
hidden The whip. For further particulars
see small bils-funeral notices Atlanta
Constitution.
How AN INDIANA FRENCHMAN KEEPS
A HoTEL.-'Fiye or six men ride on ze
horseback. i touch my hat and say, Gen.
tlemen, yer glad to see you. They say,
Can we stay all nigbtY' l say, Gentle
men. you can stay all re nighth, all ze
day. all ze weekly gor. you can stay one
long year. l have plenty room, plenty
bed, plenty to cal and drink. by gor. l
keep ze tavern like hi. and no mistake
Zen after awhile some more come up on
ze horseback, and say. Where re devil is
Eat Mark Beaubien p touch my hat and
say, Here Are you Il man zat keep ze
tavern p say. 'Oui. my friends. l have
zat honare.' 'ls ze house full y 'Oui,
Monsieur but l have plenty room, plenty
bed and plenty To eat aud drink
''Well, says r. EATEN. bow many beds
have ypu got. Marx 2 'Ten,' counting on
bis tiugers. YES o. gor vide bed.' Let's
see, t~" IN bed, thai will stow away
twenty persons. pressme you have as
many as thirl. Of night. sometimes. don't
You ? FaTty by gor ssys Mark.
We'll, how dn you provide for the ex-
tra twohiy :? 1 lake rs sheet, re comfort.
ze Fillow of ze men "a, is asleep, and make
~ bedcn q Ao0r. aud make re grand apollo
q, and wish them Don voyage in ze morn
ing So u 90 of aud say that Mark Beau
beiD one clever fellow, and Eat is re way
zai keep zc men. Indianapolis Heardd
lT I a
citizen Of Toledo, IN the ordinary current
Of business, became pOssessor of the note
Of Geruan saloon keeper. The nots be-
coming due, he took it to the party and
presented il for payment. The man was
not prepared to iiquidate bis obligation,
and ask for an extension os time. This
being granted. and the condition settled
properly, he was turning TO leave when the
German said : 'Shoost vait Won leedle
whiles, unt gifts YOU elm glass goot peers.'
No thank you. don't drink beer,' was
the reply.
Veil den, gifs you veeskees that is
. peter as mooch.'
No thank you, don't drink whiskey.'
'Sho den, know how hx you haf
goot vines,-jerking down bottle with a
flourish.
Again the quiet No thank you, 1 don't
drink wipe.'
'Vot you don't trinks nodding; veil,
gifts you Elm good chegar.'
Once more, No thank you, I don't
smoke
'Mein Gott.' exclaimed the Dutchman,
throwing up both hands, mo peers, no wees
kees, no vines, no dobacco, no noddings-
sot you live ON, aByways-botatoes, eh p
Toledo Blade
coIored youth was walking up Clay street,
he was accosted by colored acquaintance,
who remarked
We'll, Brutus. they say you IL in love p
liz. Uuncle Abra'm-I don't deny de
alleged allegation
And how does you feel. Brutus =
You havd stuffed your elbow agin a
post or sumth!n' else afore now, hasn't you,
Uncle Abra'mf'
i recon-
And you remembers de feeIin' dat runs
up yer armr
i dose.'
Well, take dat feelin' and hundred per
cent, mix 1t wild the incest bar oil in
town, sweeten wild honey, and den you can
imagine bow feel p Vicksburg Herald.
-LAuRA.-Dear Laura, when you
were 6irtiog young miss, and was your
dutiful swain, your smiles could exalt to
the SUNNI. of bliss, frowns could o'erwhelm
me with pain: you were dear TO me then,
love, bat. now you're my wife, it is strange
the fond tie should be nearer T; for, when /
am paying your bills, on my life, you seem
to get dearer and deseri