Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-12-22
All Sorts.
A capital skylight--the moon.

- eaphSt ShyhSut-tHc mum.
Al Sweetness aud Light A love mattel
Tho coal trade Of Oskaloosa amour
E ed last year to 100000.
! Always getting things down TO
. fine point the needle makers.
0 Wheatland, Clinton county, IL cor
structing canal for water power
! Every husband thinks he can tam
shrew except the poor fellow this
has her.
/ A California preacher refers ,ieri
: sivcly to sfthat hoodlum tho Prodi
, gal Son.
"Msrry widower! not II" sail
Matilda. "Babics are like tootl
brushes. Everybody wants thei
own"
Why cannot Temperance man kisl
q Jcweaay IIr has sworn not 10 taste
iow-lips.
I At a spelling school at Rcllvne. the
editor Of the Leade,' went down on
s'alcohol"
Ias any ono yet said that old man
Tweed has gone 10 catch old man
Bender? -
Why are children like jcllies? Bo.
cause as they arc moulded go they
will tnrn ont.
Tho most dangerous of all flattery
ia the very common kind VIC bcstow
upon ourselves.
Mem. to those contemplating mat
rimony - Keep on contemplating 1t,
and yon won't hnrt.
1 Sarah Eldridgc, tho frat white child
born within the limits of Davenport,
I in 1887, died last Wednesday.
Cedar Rapids has Just completed
her third bridge over tho Cedar river
at an expense OF 10000 dollars.
/ Tho castor bean crop Of Kansas ia
very large this year. About million
dollars is the figure. That's oil.
1 The Boston Traveller refers to the
icry of a spanked child a. "a bawl OF
worsted.' He may take the palm.
Little Johnny Walsh, of ST. Louis,
swallowed piece OF window glass,
and died from pane in his stomach.
A Wisconsin man eloped the other
day with Miss Divlnniety. who will
shape his ends rough hew them how
he will.
/ The two great Democratic victories
the past week-the election OF Kerr
for Speaker and the escape of Boss
Tweed.
Spugeon is sufferer from gout.
For several days, recently. he could
! not gout of ME house, but she Ia bet.
!, ter now
There are 81 organized and equip
ped military companies In the State
many Of which will compare with
those Of any other State.
| The tailors OF the country are or
ganizing for tho Centennial. They
propose to celebrate clothes OF the
century in a fitting manner.
/ How doth the big and lazy tramp
improve each shining minnie? BY
"going through" your house at night
and stealing all that's in II.
A man who has travelled says that
it didn't take him long to find ont
that braEemcn own all The railroads, ],
and the clerks all the hotels.
| They arc getting so accustomed TO
hangings in Louisiana that people
constantly accost each other with this
question: "Any nocse today"
"Ive got something to live TOR now
something to chain mo right down TO
this mundane sphere said a Texan "a
he traded his dog and gun for a mule
There were two fashionable golden
weddings in Louisville last week, and
tho dollar store has closed until new
stock Of goods arrives from the East.
Massachusetts, has q snake nearly
forty feet long, which eats chickens
and scares people. That's a very good
sized snake, indeed-for temperance
4 State.
! A Detroit woman could think oil
but twenty nine different ingredients
to put into a mince pic, and she wept
at tho idea Of losing her powers Of
memory.
| Turner's Falls Reporter. Tho In
diana predict a warm winter. But
perhaps they only mean to make il
warm for the whitea in their ncigh-
borhood.
! "Yes, he may hs good scholar, and
all that, but he can't pass . beer sA.
loon,' was what one literary gentle.
men remarked OF another on the
street yesterday.
81 want a servant girl" saysa Phil
adelphis advertiser, who is a sincere
Christian. and who won't burn the
meat all up." He'd better send his
order mp to Heaven.
a down-country farmer who put in
half acre with tnrnips last summer
says they didn't bring him a cent
He should try onions next time. They
always bring . scent.
I Even il husband has forty dress.
ing-gowns and forty pairs of slippers
now is the season of the year wher
his wife plans TO surprise him witt
some more OF the same kind.
Mamie" said a mother TO a littll
six.year-oid. "If was n little girl likt
ron would pick up all those chips
swell, mamma" said the little one
'ain't yon glad you are net littl,
girl?"
Il An Iowa chap propounded this ex
citing conundrum: .Why should III,
boys in Iowa be the happiest boys il
the world? Because they are alwayl
between two Misses--M Missouri ant
Mississippi"
There are now four women and tel
men upon the rock-pile in tho I4eaven
worth City Jail yard, engaged II
breaking stones to be used in macad
. amizing the streets. This is equa
rights III earnest.
An exchange says fashionable youn,
people are calling upon somebody t
invent new dance. suppose some
body invents one wherein the youn,
! lady dances around the house AM
looks after things?
j Mary had little lamp,
Twas filled with kerosene,
81 Mary down the chimney blew,
!, And vanished from the scene.
II Gone to meet her brother who q
! down on keg OF powder to smoke
. "Mrs. Henry" said John to his wife
!, the Other morning, 'if you give me
: !. Christmas present this year, please aI
! range Il 90 that the bill won't com
In till next month. HIS Just as wei
TO keep up the illusion for shor
time.
ri The members of the now Legisls
ture of Samoa are so aversc to wear
ing respectable amount Of clothin
that it has been found necessary t
adopt rule imposing = fine OF $40
! upon any Of them who ontor the hal
In complete or partial state of nu
dity.
, A musical amateur writes to ask
. the old English song, "A Singl
I a. \ n 4 l. -