The Tipton advertiser., 1875-02-11
SOLEMN FACTS.

SOLEMN FACTS.
- q Ii ~ vesl-Gas making
= Milwaukee ladies' are too modest TO
wear invisible plaids.
How 70 make money go far-Giye
i = afoseiGr p IONS 49,
Amarriage 81 railway train may
properly be called railway tie.
DOM Piatt's favorte song is
slsstne BY sAoonlight, loan is al
AK ofthee."
IS Whv is q man who let's houses
likely to have good many consnsy
HNgE s& Il Bocause he has tenants. a
.aN II n Il a good time % pass around the
hat--When it has stone under y
aud you're tempted to kick It.
The very last curiosity spoken OF
in the papers is wheel that came OH
! dogs tail when it was waggin'
-. J. = Thsnan who discovered IT has re-
y tired from public life
The Tribune declares that some
wAs New York ladies pay at least 500
pair for their garters. This will CON-
mend to any sensible man the Wis
dom oil prelerftDR WohaH "''''
wooden limbs, who wont object to MS
hSa ing tscks. fN#Hs#
Nothing will sooner tempt bach
elor 10 abandon his resolution TO mar
~ than to sleep in All adjoining Dom
to scouple with colicky baby.
II see the villiar in your face,
said magistrate TO prisoner.
sYour Honor" re,orted the prisoner,
ssthat is personal reflection
eazAxk "A Utica editor, whose car is she'd
s@sHFp ding it's skin, explains that he has
no. been anywhere to freeze it but he
has been exposed 10 good deal OF
NN N donc, tic discipline.
$50 you take lessons in drawiny,
Sallieys "Yes; and the teacher says
I'm an apt pupil, as draw more IN.
ferences. insinua,ons, adm rers and
allowances than anv other girl IN he
academy"
II would not be woman, Tor the.
/ could not love her, says Montaigne
LADY M W. Montague says "lhe
only o5ectio, have to be man is
chat should then have to m,ry a
woman"
A French paper says tha, not one
American in one hundred has hand
some chin. This is due to the fact
ailat SO many Of our fellow citizens
give nearly all their lime to the cul-
aviation of cheek.
Somehow one cant help thinking
of that citizen of Syracuse VIII" b
th rtcen children-all girls Pf bs-
sbly there is not corner at the bureau
in that mans house that hasn't 4 cold
chew Of spruce gum sticking TO IT.
A B s,on girl advertises herself as
sixteen and pretty, and adds th.t II
any gentleman will enable her to OBJ
tain a FIRST -cass education she will
put herself entirely at his dis'esal
the day she graduates,
An Iowa lady concludes an anti
suffrage letter as follows You may
look at this matter in whatever light
YOU will. bu. simmer il down aud It
is but quarrel with the Almighty
that we are not all men,
There is man ramci Chain, in
Paris, who is in constant demand as
a second in duel. His legs are near
ely FIVE feet long, and twenty of his
,faces place the antagonists ont of
each others artillery.
sHi where did yez git them trous
crs.s asked AN lrishman OF man
who happened to be passing with a
remarkably short pair of trousers.
Il go. them where they grew, was
the indignant reply. "Then by me
conscience" said Pat, 'you picked
them year too soon.
! ]: !: : 4 : !: !: :: : z: :
49, As our derit was gaiag home with
- his sweetheart few evenings since,
she esd to him: "Horace, fear
g. shall never get to heaven Why.
# asked the knight Of the ink.keg.
s-Recaus sll she with melting
look, because ! love the devil so
we'll"
"Why, jimmy" said protes
sonal beggar to another, "are you GO
ing to knock off already? It's only
two o'clock. "No, you mutton head"
responded the other, who enga
ged 10 uubucklng his cruteh, Pm
only going to put it on the other
knee. You don't suppose fellow
can beg all day on the same leg do