The Canton mail. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 18??-1882, 1875-11-06
WIDOW STACY'S HEIFER.
Mr. Soper-s lnfsrf unUtc Attempt
.AnIu~s His @s.-s. wife

Mr. Soper's GnfBrf UnTtc Attempt To
AWu>s His SICK Niir
Mr. Soper'S wife has been very sick
for some weeks, but, although cX-
tremelv reduced in body and mind,
there Is still enough of the true woman
remaining in her, which led her last
Monday, in faint whisper, to ask her
husband, who had entered the sick
room with Il funeral cast of features,
what WAS the news
"Wcll," answered Mr.. Soper, sitting
uneasily down on the extreme edge OF
Il chair and balancing his hat on his
fingers by the brim, ''therc amt nothln
to speak of n p'ticlcr S'posc you
heard of Miss Coles death; she was
taken the same time you was.
Il should think, James" said Mrs.
Soper, with feeble emphasis, THAT
if you could not find something more
cheerful to say to your poor, sick wife,
you'd hold your tongue"
"Cert'nly," said Mr.. Soper, meekly,
"onl v news is so sc'asc. Lemme see,
he continued, looking thoughttully into
the crown of his hat Us if he had re-
served fund therein, you heard bout
Marthy Carriers breaking her Leg"
A snappish nod of the head from
the invalid signifed to Mr. Soper that
he was on dangerous ground, but after
moments reflection he frightened
visibly rs he said: "You orter ben to
town meetin' Monday. The towns
voted to have new hearse, an | never
was so glad of anythink in my life"
james Edward Soper," whispered
his wife, with painful intensity, "be
you nat'ral born fool, or be you
lookin forrard to getting rid of me-"
As the latter view had never pre-
scented itself to Mr.. Soper in the light
of his wife's inquiry, he looked very
much subdued, and scratched his head
with an air of painful abstraction as
Mrs. Soper said again with Il fearful
voice:
"Oh, you en- go. If you can't spare
Il few moments to sit with me an jes'
give me some little mterestin' news
| don't want you to stay ag'in your in
clination," she continued with the sigh
of martyr.
Mr.. Soper hastily expressed his will
lingness to remain and desire to please,
so after brief interval of thought he
continued reflectively:
"Well, lemme think. | was over
to the widder Stacy's las night to see if
| couldn' make trade for jersey
heffer, an | tell you, Myria," said So
per, enthusiastically, eff she amt a
hansum critter, | never see one"
An ominous light appeared in Mrs.
Soper's sunken eyes, and if her husband
had been observing close, he would
have seen a restless motion Of the
hands indicative of an apparent desire
to make Il personal attack upon some
one or something, but he saw nothing
and continued:
"She's jest about the right size, an
her skin Us white as SNOW Shes got
the pootiest legs" continued the unre-
fleeing Mr. Soper, with a descriptive
motion of the hand, can when YOU
commence to talk about shape-why,
Mira" said Mr.. Soper, rising from his
chair in his warmth, "she'll measure
two feet across the breas--"
The scream which came from the
afflicted invalid at this juncture was of
such piercing shrillness that Mr.. Soper
placed his fingers in his ears, and Mrs.
Soper's mamma, who was in the next
room, appeared on the scene in the
twinlling of an eye.
"Oh, you awful brute!" she ex-
claimed as she bathed her daughters
brow with hair oil in mistake for cam
phor, VIII the wretched man feebly
endeavore, = explain that he was only
telling Mr2s Yer about Jersey heifer
that he was to buy.
"There, MAY laid Mrs. Soper, with
a gasp, Pm better now"
You'd better leave the room," said
the matron, with Il world of significant
wrath in her eye, and the unfortunate
Mr.. Soper departed, muttering, as he
slammed the outside door behind him,
that he'd be master in his own house
some day; but he hasn't been yet, for
Mrs. Soper has recovered, and her
mother has taken up Il permanent res
idence with them.
To this day they don't speak to the
widow Stacy, and Mr.. Soper's reit-
Grated explanation has always been re-
ceived in dignificd and incredulous
silence