The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-08-26
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
PLENTY of chestnuts in New York this

TRUE heroes Stlll i've. ne lover WIZ
plunged into the surging flood at Niagara,
the other day, in vain attempt to rescue
his betrothed did a noble deed-nobler
than most that are found in song and
story.
IT is one of those strange but true things
which are sometimes met with that,
while it rains very easy nowadays, yet 1t
also rains exceeding hard; and that,
though the water falls easy and hard, it
still comes down soft.
AT funeral of woman in Slawson,
the other day, neighbor in attendance,
feeling it necessary to say something sym
pathetic to the afflicted husband, kindly
observed: you've got splendid day
for the funeral. "-Ddnbmy Neaos.
A TEXAS newspaper contains the fol
lowing: "On account of an accident our
eleven-year-old devil is the only typo in
the office this week. Except a little over
two columns hehas set up the entire paper
in four days. Several articles appear just
as they came from the stick"
THE Catskill Mountain House has been
visited by distinguished party of En-
glish noblemen. They remained three
days, during which time they filled all the
vacant rooms with the his they discarded
in conversation, and don't you knowed"
the head waiter into brain fever.
The young trout that Seth Green and
his piscatorial agents have been "plant-
ng'' in some of the rivers and creeks are
voraciously and unceremoniously "gob-
bled up" by the hungry bass, pickerel,
sunfish etc. Trout, like human innocents,
can live and thrive only where there are
no greedy devourers of their kind.
IT is seldom easy to see the hidden bene-
faction in that which is an apparent affiic
ton. A boy who was confounding" the
mosquito was told by his pastor that
doubtless the insects are made with d
good end in view," when the young scamp
replied: Il can't see it whether it is in
view or not. At any rate l don't like the
end l feel"
Two AND HALF MILLION of dollars
have been collected by Nine. MacMahon
for the relief of the sufferers by the late
foundations in France, and that's the kind
of wife to have in the family. With
such helpmeet fellow when hard up
would have only to go out and get inun-
dated and then await developments st.
Louis Republican.
THEY have mellow soil in Pennsylvania.
One morning, recently, while a Berwick
farmer was driving his horse across a
field the earth suddenly caved in under
the animals hoofs without any warning.
The farmer made every effort to save his
horse, but before he could do anything it
had sunk ten feet into the ground, where
it soon Smothcrcd.
Jim, can you tell me where I'll find
Lawyer 2" asked friend in our hear
ing yesterday, of Il gentleman who is
notorious for always being found else
where than in his sanctum. No, have
you looked for him % Yes, looked all
over town" "Have you looked in his
Officer" "By Jove" said the gentleman,
a new light breaking over his counte-
nance, 81 never thought Of that. "-Napa
(Cal) Register.
IT may be doubted whether Sartoris is
passonately fond of babies The other
morning while he was standing ON the
piazza in the midst of group of his boon
companions Nellie came WaltZing out
with the national grandchild in her arms,
and, planting it playfully upon his Shout
der exclaimed: ooh, amt it a darling
Algy" "Welln returned Algy with the
mortified air of man who had been taken
advantage of-"well, its mother is."-
Broohly@ 1rgus.
A REMARKABLE dandy has Just died in
San Francisco. His name was A. J. Ste
venson. Although very old, he used dyes
and cosmetics so deity that he looked TO
be only middle-aged. He was wealthy
and bachelor, and his aim in life seemed
to be to wear the best clothes that could be
bought. Many years ago he was iDlpli-
Gated in the abduction of a young woman,
was tried on criminal charge, but it was
supposed that liberal expenditure of
money averted a conviction. And now
he has done his last dying, has this dan
die
A Boston publishing house finding the
new rates Of third-class postage too ex-
orbitant, prepared the following postal
card, which they mailed to some of their
subscribers: THE ridiculous Postal law.
by which we are compelled to pay treble
postage on all magazines sent to subscrib-
ers in what is known as 'Burt's Syndi-
cate,' compels us to establish a postal serv-
ice ourselves. Your magazine will be left
by the 10th Of the month at, where
please call for it hereafter Finding that
the cards were not delivered they learned
at the Postotfice that they were withheld
because " the firm We're using the mail to
scandalize the department.
The Italian fashion of dealing with
butchers is not much in vogue here. 1t
is just being introduced in Brooklyn. An
drew Mela lately arrived from Sicily, set
the style He ran up a bill for meat until
the butcher would trust him no longer
Then he told the butcher that he never
meant to pay, meantime lingering the
edge of Il sdletto with peculiar signifi-
canoe. Subsequently he held a knife at
the butchers throat and extortcd a loan of
GOS, Ep,1l,, Ia, do ln,l a
butcher at picnic, and tried to cut his
heart out merely because further advances
of money were refused. Now the Siciian
is under 81 900 bail to keep the peace, but
he has suffered no further punishment;
and, most interesting of all, he has not
paid the bill
WHERE is the editor with soul so
dead' as not to have heartfelt sympathy
with him of the KtddleSer County Demo-
crut when he says: :. Editing "A paper is a
nice business. If we publish jokes, peo
pie say we are rattle-headed If we omit
jokes, they say we are an old fossil. If
we publish original matter, they cuss' us
for not giving selections. If we publish
selections, folks say we are lazy for not
writing something they have not read in
some other paper. If we give man a
complimentary notice, We are censurcd
for being partial. If we do not give COM
Plimentary notices, folks say we are hog.
If we do not cater to the wishes of the la
dies, the paper is not fit to make hustle
If we remain in our Office and attend to
our business, folks say we are too proud
to mingle with our fellows. If we goout,
they say we never attend to our business.