Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-10-29
Widow Sfacy's Heifer.

Mr.. Soper's wife has been very sick for
some weeks, but, although extremely re-
duced in body and mind, there is still
enough OF the true woman remaining in
her, which led her last monday, in q faint
whisper, toyask her husband who had en-
! tered the sick room with a funeral cast of
features, what was the news
Well. answered Mr. Soper, sitting uG-
easily down on the extremely edge of a
chair, and balancing his hat ON his fingers
by the brim, there amt nothing to speak
of'n p'ticler. S'pose you heard of Miss
Coie's death she was taken the same time
you was.n
/ should think, James, said Mrs. Soper
with a feeble emphasis, that ifyou couldn't
find somethin' more cheerful to say to your
poor, sick wife. you'd hold your tongue
'Cert'nly,' said Mr.. Soper, meekly, 'only
news is sc'ace. Lemme see.' he continued
looking thoughtfully into the crown of his
hat, as if he had a reserved fund of gossip
ktherein, you heard bout Martha Carter's
eREeakin' her leg.'
A snappish' nod of the head from the In
valid signifed TO Mr.. Soper that be was on
dangerous ground, but after a moments
reflection he frightened visibly as he said:
You orter BEN to town meetin' Mond'y
The towns voted to have O new hearse,
an never was so glad of anything in all
my life
James Edward Soper.' whispered his
wife, with a painful intensity. be you
nat'ral born fool, or be you lookin' forrard
to gettin rid of me p
AS the later view had never presented
itself to MIR. Soper in the light Of bis wife's
inquiry. he looked very much subdued,
and scratched his head with an air of pain
full abstraction as Mrs. Soper said again
with fearful voice:
oh you en- go. If you can't spare a
few moments to set with me, an jes' Civ
ne some little interestin' news-I don't
want you to stay ag'in your incliEation,'
she continued with the sigh of a martyr.
Mr.. Soper hastily expressed his willing
ness to remain and desire to please, 80 af-
ter brief interval of thought he contin-
ued re1ectively:
We'll, lemme think. I was over to the
Widder Stacy's las night to see # couldn'
make trade for Jersey heffer, an l tell
you, Maria said Mr.. Soper, enthusiastic
caly, if she amt harnsum creeter,
never see one.'
An ominous light appeared in Mrs. So
per's sunkeh eyes. and if her husband had
been observing closely he would have seen
q restless motion of the hands, Indicative
of an apparent desire to make a personal
attact upon some one or something. but
he saw nothing, aud continued
She's jest about the right size, an her
skins as white as snow. She's got the
pootiest legs continued the unre1ecting
Mr.. Soper, with descriptive motion of the
hand AN when you come TO talk about
shape-wby, M'ria,' said Mr.. SOper, rising
from his chair in bis warmth, she'll meas
ure two foot across her breast
The scream which come from the affiict-
ed invalid at this juncture was Of such
piercing shriIlness that Mr.. Soper placed
his fingers in his ears, and Mrs. Soper's
mamma, who was in the mex: room, ap-
peared on the scene in the twinkiins Of an
eye.
oh, you awful brute , she exclaimed as
she bathed her daughters brow with hair
oil in mistake for camphor, while the
wretched man feebly endeavored to oexplain
that he was only telling Mrs. Soper about
Jersey heifer that he was going to buy.
'There, ma said Mrs. Soper, with a
grasp, I'm better now
You'd better leave the room,' said the
matron with world of significant wrath
in her eye, and the unfortunate Soper de-
parted muttering as he slammed the out
side behind him, that he'd be master in
bis own house some day but he hasn't
been yet, for Mrs. Soper has recovered,
and her mother has taken up a permanent
residence with them.
To this day they don't speak to the
Widow Stacy. and Mr.. Soper's reiterated
explanation has always been received in
dignitiei and increduous silence.