The Morning herald., 1875-11-15
IN THE TOLLS.

SLENDER DoCKET-vICT1Ms IN TIE Po-
LICE sEINE-OH! JOHN, AND WE LII NEVER
GET DRUNK ANY MORE-wHAT 1T COST
ELIZA DODGsON TO ABUSE DANIEL
COsDEN.
1t was rather dreary at the Mayors office
yesterday: The chief sat at his desk and
fumbled over the docket. Finding that it
was rather dry, he glanced towards the
Mayor who trimmed up his muscle to lay
down tho law, and wiping his spectacles Or
dered the battle to proceed. The band be-
gun to play, or rather. the turnkey gave the
order, and the animals moved around. They
were eight in number, two without hats,
three without coats, one with pose as red
as lobster's claw, one whose eye had been
to funeral and another who had been to
see the elephants, and had what the boys
call, "a head put upon him."
They stood up in line of battle before his
Honor's desk, and as he gazea upon them,
he no doubt thought of the many battles,
the mighty hosts had passed through.
"Been drunk" said he, "yes zur," said the
man with the eye in mourning; "Yez zur,"
sick" said the men without any coats.
"House fell on me-" said the man with a
head on him. "Got the spizooty," said
those without hats. The Mayor said only
fthree words: "Fines and costs" Eight
right hands, went down deep and still deep
er into eight right hand pants pockets and
eight pocket-books that looked flat enough
to have passed through cider press, were
produced. The band struck up again, or
rather the turnkey pronounced the words
"Right about, march," and the animals
moved out to hay foot, straw foot time of
drilling, while boy on the pavement whis-
tied "tranp, tramp, the boys are marching"
George Williams, was the name the Chief
pronounced. George toed the mark grace
fully. "Let the law take its COURSE" said
he. and the Mayor measured the value Of
his wardrobe at a single glance. "George,
said he, your patronymic-"Excuse nae sir, f"
said George, but I do not know Pat"
"Pat who 2" said his Honor in surprise.
"Why your Honor, you spoke of me and
Pat ROnymic." 81 mean your name by
that word," replied the Mayo, rsuppressing
his lauehte, "But as was going to remark
your name is a high sounding one and should
not be disgraced by your getting drunk on
the Sabbath, butif you have the costs about
you, we will say no more, or in other words
the Court will be SILENT" The funds were
produced, the words "Right about face'
were pronounced and George making grand
salaan, which elevated bis csat tails two
feet in the air, while his nose almost touched
the floor, took his departure.
Down at Brady's Saturday there was a
slight ruction to be settled. Eliza Dodgson
shook her head until it was hard to tell
whether that COW tail appendage of the fe-
male bead dress known by the technical
name Of switch, was snake or bologna
sausage Topping around. But it did no good,
and all those things, 'vulgarly called
HSQQQts,o thatAhe sRadee at the Court were
wasted, Tor fDaniel Cosden was there, and
had his put. He said Eliza had been dis
orderly, she had been worse than member
Of the Womans' Rights Convention, and
talked worse upon the public Highways than
Morton ever did in his bloody shirt speeches.
" Well Eliza" said the Squire, "This is a
weary world, times are hard, and the winter
is coming on. 1t will soon be time to put
away the ulster duster, take the arctic shoes
out of pickle and try the weather with one
foot at the time before getting out of
bed, but you must pay the costs
and give bond to keep the
peace. Eliza Topped around that cowtail
appendage two or three times again by
shaking her head produced the wherewith
and sailed gracefully out of the sacred pre-
ciRcts Of the Squire's Office while the COM
pany spit out the guilds of tobacco and bid
good night to Justice.