The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-04-29
Wit and HumOr.

Wit and HumOr.
AN affecting sight-Barrels in tiers.
The State for editors Pencil-vania.
The real yellow fever-Greed for
gold.
ALWAYS whispering in company-For-
est leaves.
The latest thing in front door-locks-
Night-keys.
THE stamp of civilization pos
tage-stamp.
AT what time of day was Adam born
A little before Eve.
WHAT relation is the door to the door
mat? A step farther.
WHAT kind Of sweetmeats were in the
ark? Preserved pairs.
WHAT State is round at both ends and
high in the middle? Ohio.
WHETHER bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush depends upon the nature
of the bird.
A LITTLE peppermint is better than
brandy when there is any trouble with
your j." true inwardness.' %
WHEN the evil one is going to and fro,
and up and down over the earth, can we
doubt that he is improving?
SUCCESS is said, by Western sage, to
greatly depend upon the possession Of
three qualities grip and gump-
ton.
This jute the ladies patch their hair
with never looks more like real hair than
when it appears in the butter. -Berk-
shire Courier.
WHAT is the difference between Noah's
ark and Mississippi fat-boat? One
was made of Gophir wood and the other
was made to go for wood.
WHEN two young hearts that beat as
one attend divine services in the even
ing, it is bashfulness that leads them
to select a seat in the most obscure
pew under the gallery. Brooklyn AT-
gus.
"JU11Us, why didn't you oblong
your stay at the Springs?" ''Kase,
Mr.. Snow, dey charge too much?"
'' How so, Julius?" "Wy, de landlord
charged dis colored individual wild steal
ing de spoons"
A New HAMPSHIRE family has used
one stove for twenty-eight years, while
Detroit man has kicked three to pieces
within year. Some men, as soon as
they get a little down-hearted, go for the
cookstove right away.
A GENTLEMAN travelling on steamer,
one day at dinner was making way with
a large pudding close by, when he was
told by a servant that it was dessert.
cit makes no difference to me-" said
he, CT would eat it if it were a wilder
ness"
EDGAR Poe said: "To villify a
great man is the readiest way in which
little man can himself attain greatness.
The crab might never have become a
constellation but for the courage it
evinced in nibbling Hercules on the
heel"
WHEN DR.. Cox was settled in Brook
Ign, he kept dog, which was kenneled
at the rear of the house The dog being
somewhat given to biting, the doc
tor placed in large capitals over
the kennel the admonition, "Teeth in
serted here"
SCHOOL inspector to urchin CHOW,
Johnny, how many can you count?"
Johnny Gone, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten Inspec-
tor "Good, Johnny go on" John
ny latter moments thought: Jack,
queen, king, ace. .
A HARDWARE merchant yesterday OBJ
served boy looking sharply at SEINE
garden tools, and he asked: Club, If 1
should present you with hoe would you
90 home and make garden. ono,
proudly responded the boy; I'd sell it
10 the man living next door and buy
some circus tickets. detroit Free
Press.
CT SHOULD think you would be
lshamed to pitch on to that little boy"
aid pedestrian yesterday as he caught
! big boot black cutting a small news
10Y. "Ye would, hey9" sneered the