South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1875-10-22

y
For de good time comm no mo-,
An see Ole Misses acallin' Nanny
Across from de odder sho'.
WIT AND IIMUOIS.
tV Garrison says that the woman
question was an "all-embracing. one.
Who said it wasn't?
5w''Don't you think tight lacin@ bad
for consumption doctor?" asked young
lady of her physician. Not ut all"
said the doctor lit is what it feeds on"
~ Having frequently appealed to his
father to buy him jack-knife, and re-
cciving for n final answer: "If You
speak to me again on that subject I'll
whale YOU" he went straightway to his
mother, crying rs if his heart would
break and said, j can't never be good
like George Washington, with such dad
rs I've got
IS'General Lee one day found DR..
Cutting the army surgeon, who was a
handsome and dressy man, arranging his
cravat complacently before the glass.
Cutting" said he, you must be the
happest man in creation "Why, Gene
ral?' why" replied Lee, because you
are in love with yourself, and have not
rival on earth
To Old Rodger was visiting q friend
who had a remarkably file little girl a.
bout three years old, famous for smart
sayings. As usual. she was shown off
before our esteemed friend. What is
papa" said the parent in order to
draw out the prccocious child. "Papa's
humbug," said the juneyile Il de-
clare said old Rodger, Il never in my
life saw so young child with 50 mature
a Judgment"
tv Some time ago, in church in the
West, n couple were married. The
brides Christian name was Mercy. The
minister gave out hymn, one line i'm
each verse being, In Mercy's arms there
still is room" One OF the congregation
at least put literal meaning to it. for
after the service was over he came to n
friend stammering Il do.don't know
about there being any more room in
Mercy's arms. / think they are pretty
well filed now"
To An ancient darkey leaned over n
Clay street gate yesterday, and called to
the dusky proprietor of a cabin: "See
heah, Henry, isn't Won bout ready tn
pay me dat Two bits?" "IIaven't muffin
tn pay Wild was the reply. You Dor
rowed dat money n whole year ago. Hen
ry,' continued the old man Cant
help dat-can't pay" "Ilcnry. / be-
lievcs you don't want tn pay believes
you is dishonest. and ncbber ask for de
money again; I'll leave de Lord tn col.
lect it. ~ "Shoo!" exclaimed Henry.
greatly interested all at once. you
hasn't emmy more money to lend ON dose
terms, has ye?"-TictsjUry Paper
IV The following story is told of q
member of Parliament who. wishing to
conciliate an old ncighbor. voter. sent
him n pineapple from his dollhouse II
hope you liked ~ he said TO the old
man. when he met him few days after.
wards. "Well, yes. thankcc. pretty we'll
But ! suppose we sort Of people arc not
used TO them fine things. and don't know
how TO eat EN-" How did YOU eat IT,.
them" asked the NJ 7. Well" said
the man. eve boiled EN-" BOILED il o.
sighed the VI. j., in horror, thinking Of
his pineapple. "Yes, we boiled EN- with
n leg of mutton"
IVA clergyman had Just united in
marriage a couple whose Christian names
were respectively Benjamin and Ann
How did they appear during the ccrc.
mony?' inquired friend. "They ap.
pearcd both Anniemated and Bonnie.
fitted was the reply.
Ia \ young lady was the other even.
ing heard to say TO him: "Our parlor
stove is mp now; DO call and see what
little spark il takes to kindlc a flame"
a BAD STUATtoN.-"Dc curiorsest
thing in all dis human life" said a Vicks.
burg negro as he famed himself with his
old hat. els de fact dat whenever pus.
son gets watermelon under each arm
and starts for home"
cone of EN- falls kersmash on de side
walk" interrupted his hearers.
mo, sah-no sab ; you is wrong sab.
Den is de only time in de world dat his
nose begins % itch like al creation !"