The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-12-25

i "Well, cannot marry you now he said
"the servant has taken the front-ioOr LEY ant
has gone to sleep"
Wei then, marry US out of the window,
cane Up from below,
Aud SO the minister took the book ia hanl
and called out the directions from the second
= slorycasement, and the parties complied will
the several orders and finally left the fee IL
an envelope under the front door and wcn
ou of the garden.gate man and wife.
The.levIiy with which some persons entc
upon the solemn service OF matrimony is very
strange.
| Persons often &C. rs friends and witnesses
AS parents and relatives, who only DO 1t u!
they would act their parts in farce or char
AIDE. Actors and actresses have been known
to be married just 10 the same way IL which
they would perform d certain role upon tht
Stage, with that cynical air which life o.
stimulation so often involves on the part d
those who realize that
"All the worlds stage
One Saturday evening an lrisman anc
woman came to a certain minister's house t
be married, but, finding him at service, wen
over to his church and waited his pleasure
They wanted u bc married at once, but they
hadlno friends or witnesses with them. The
minister demurred for some time, but the wo
was "biarneyed" INTO compliance. When II
came TO The Woman's turn 10 respond, SHE
broke out laughing and could not 90 on.
That will do" said the minister; II am
sure now there IS something wrong; can
proceed no further"
"Oh, now, your reverence. - said the woman
"go ON like d man; get that there ring ON
my finger once, and then I'm as good as the
next one"
But still the minister refused,
"Shure," said the woman, you WOuiun't
stop half way when it's only few words
more Will do the job entirely"
But there was no more ego" TO that alarm
ed clergyman. who was only too much ieliev-
cd to stand clear with his conscience, and,
like Paul amid the wreck at Malta, to throw
off the yillainOus beast Of fire. and, like HIM,
to feel no harm!
On one occasion a clergyman, after pro-
nouncing the benediction upon the kneeling
couple before him, put forth his hand to con.
graduate the young husband, when he, with
an indignant, injured air, waved his hand
away, saying at the same time: ut is all
right, SIR, the first groomsman Will attend to
that" The same minister has another story
an old uncle who brought his niece to the
rectory on cold, rainy day 10 married and
about for two-dollar bill and not being able
to find it, said, as he handed the parson i've.
dollar note, Take the change out of that for
two-dollar job; it's kind o wetand.cold.
like today, and guess two dollars will be
about the thing"
The following story is unique in itself, and,
though slightly bordering on the sacTilegious,
is strictly true: A hospital city rector In
The city OF centennial glory, had Western
German missionary with him daring some
convention or clerical gathering. One night
he went some distance to marry a couple at
the brides fathers house, and, for company's
sake, the Western brother went with him
Suddenly the rector exclaimed;
There! have forgotten my prayerbook,
and these people are Presbyterians What
shall do?'
IVY, zurely you knows dc zervizc by dis
dime" said the German brother. GO on
mitout any book''
Well, let US see" said the clergyman,
how does il Begin We will walk on;
will repeat il, and you correct me If get it
wrong"
Yah vhole,n answered the German.
dearly beloved, We arc gathered here in
the sight OF God aud in Tie face Of this com
pany-. That is right," said the minister.
"laas, said the German.
"'---to Join together this maa and this NO
man in holy matrimony, which-which--'
what comes next inquired the perplexed
rector.
"Vich: Let rae see" replied the German
missionary, how does X go? Oh, yaasl-
'Nich, being 80 divine and comfortable a
thing to those who receive II worthily, and
so dangerous to them who presume to receive
1t unworthily-'"
Hold on, man. said the astonished mia-
lister, you have gone into the communion
service; can never get straight now"
Another mistake like this happened to a
very absent-mindcd clergyman. who stood up
before bright roomful OF joyous people, and
began the wedding service Us follows:
MAN that is born OF woman hath but q
short time TO live and Is full Of misery"
stop, stop!' cried out the astonished
groom, I'VE came here to be married, not
buried
IHL MAELSToRM AS IT Is.--Nearly mid
way In London strait, a huge naked rock