Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1875-04-22
BILL AND THE WIDOW.
/ Story that Will Make You Laugh,
BY J. A. SMITH.

across the tHOlo INTO tue UrlRut oy o'
of bis little wife. "wouldn't it be [
good joke to get bachelor Bill Smiley
to take widow Watson to Barnum'
show next week 2"
"You can't do it, Ed he won't ash
her, he's so awful shy. Why, b.
came by here the other morning
when was hanging out clothes, ant
be looked over the fence and spoke
3ut when | shook out a night gowI
be blushed like a girl and wen
away"
81 think can manage it" said Ed
but I'll have to lie just little. Bu
then it won't be much harm under
the circumstances, for | know sht
likes him, and he don't dislike her
but just as you say, he's 80 shy. III
just 60 over to his place to borrow
some bags of him. and if | don't bag
him before come back. don't kiss
me for week, Nellie"
So saying, Ed. started, and while
be is moving the fields we will take
look at Bill Smiley. He was rath.
er good looking fellow, though his
hair and whiskers had some gray
hairs, and he had got in set of arti
fetal teeth. But every one said he
was q good soul, and so he was. He
had as good hundred acre farm as
any in Norwich, with a new house
and everything comfortable; and if he
wanted wife many girl would
have jumped at the chance, like 9
rooster on q grasshopper. But Bill
was so bashful-always was-and
when Susan Berrybottle, whom. he
was so sweet on, though he never
said "boo" to her, got married to old
Watson, be just drew in his head like
a mud turtle in bis shell, and there
was no getting him out again, though
it had been noticed that since Susan
had tecome q widow he had paid
more attention to his clothes and had
been very regular in his attendance
at the church the fair widow attend
ed.
But here comes Ed. Wilbur.
Good morning, Mr.. Wilbur. -
What's the news your way 2"
sob, nothing particular, that |
know Of" said Ed. "only Barnum's
show that every boldly and his girl is
going 10. | was over to old Sock
riders last night, and | see his son
Gus has got new buggy, ard was
scrubbing up his harness, and he's
got the white faced colt of his as
slick as a seal | understand that he
intends taking widow Watson to the
show. He's been hanging around
there good deal of late, but Id just
like to cut him out, | would. Susan
is nice little woman, and deserves q
better man than that young pup OF q
fellow, though | would not blame her
much any how if she takes him, for
che must be dreadfully lonesome, and
then she has to let her farm out on
shares, and it isn't half worked, and
no one else seems TO have the spunk
to speak up to her. By jingo If |
were single nan I'd show you q
trick or two"
So saying, Ed. borrowed some bags
and started around the corner of the
barn, where he bad left Bill sweeping,
and put bis ear TO q knot hole and
listened, knowing that the bachelor
had habit OF talking to himself
when anything worried him.
'Confound that young .Sockrider,"
said Bill. "What business has he
there, should like to know Got a
new buggy, has he2 Well, so have
l, and new harness, too, and his
horse can't get IN sight of mine and
declare I've half mind to, yes |
will I'il go this very night and ask
her to go co the show with me. III
show Ed WILDER that | amt such a
calf az he thinks | am, if did let
old Watson get the start of me in the
first"
Ed. could scarcely help laughing
outright, but he hastily hitched the
bags on his shoulders, and with a low
chuckIe at his success startled home
to tell the news to Nellie, and about
5 o'clock they saw Bill go by with
his horse and buggy on his way to
the widows. He logged along quiet
ly thinking of the old singing school
days, and what pretty girl Susan
was then, and wandering inwardly il
he would have more courage now to
talk to her, until at d distance Of
about q mile from her house he came
to bridge-over large creek and
it so happened that just as he reach
ed the middle of the bridge, he gave
tremendous sneeze, and blew the
teeth out of his mouth and clear over
the dashboard, and striking on the
plank they rolled over the side of the
bridge and dropped into four feet Of
water.
Words cannot do justice to poor
Bill or paint the expression on nis
face as be sat there-oompletely dunn
founded st bis startling piece of il
luck. After while he stepped out o
bis buggy, and getting down on hi
hss Dis and knees, looked over into th'
water. "Yes, they were at the bot
tom. with q crowd of little fishes rub
bing their noses against them, ant
Bill wished to goodness that his nos
was as close for one second. Hi
beautiful teeth that had cost him 81
much, and the show coming on, ant
DO time to get another set-and tn
widow and young Sockrider. Well
he must try and get them somehow
and no time to loose-for some on
might come along and ask him VIA
he was fooling around there for. ii
had no notion of spelling his goo
clothes by wading in with them or
and besides, if he did then he coul
rot go to the widows that night, 8
he took look up and down the roa
to see that no one was in sight, an
then quickly addressed himself, lay