The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1875-06-05
WIT AND WISDOM.

Ruled paper-The French press
Drawing paper-The dentists bill.
Paper for the ronghs sand paper
A taking paper-The Sheriff warrant
The paper that's full u rows The paper
of pins.
Paper containing many fine points The
paper ~ needles
The paper having the largest circulation
The paper Of tObacn.
The best paper II them All The WOEA-
INCAASS ApvOCArF
The childhood shows the rnan as morn
ing shoS the day.
A man cannot expect halt 4 loaf when
he loafs all the time
ii This.' Thought boy shile being
trounced hy his fond papa, N j. very Ike
a whale.
A bashful compositor refused to accept
q situation ia an office where girls were EN-
ployed, saying ~ never w ,tp with a girl
IN his life
As nothing truly valuable can be 0b-
tanned without industry, 50 there eau b.
lo persevering industry without deep
sense of the value Of time.
John, John, wake up, there's harg-
lar in the house. said his wife John sat
upright il bed " Burglar, b-u-r-g-l-s-r-
burglar" he rolled over waiting for
harder word.
This conundrum is respectfully submit
ted to the best speller If Sioux spell
su, and eye spells i, and i-g-h-e-d spells
side, Why don't s-i-o-u-x-e-y-e-s-i-g-h-e-d
spell suicide
A country editor cannot be as bold and
independent in his paper as his city brother
| He has to collect his own subscription,
and almost everybody in the country keeps
a dog g.-Danbury NslCs.
That was a shrewd method which an
Iowa girl recently adopted to induce al
her friends to attend her wedding. She
didn't let them know up TO the last mo
ment who the groom was to be.
At a teachers institute in Ohio recently
a lady teacher was given the word haz-
ardous" to spell and define, and did it in
this style H-sz has-a-rd ard
double 5, ess-hazsrdess q female hsz-
sd"
| To find a policeman-look down every
area in the street. II you do not by &C
| cident happen to see one, ring the bell and
inquire If the policeman Is in the kitchen
Repeat this at every door, and you cannot
fail eventually to find one.
A teacher in the Port Jarvis public
schools was last week explaining TO this
children that usually all words ending with
let" meant something small as stream
let, rivulet, hamlet, etc. Whereupon
smart boy asked if hamlet meant a small
ham.
" 40, stayed az home and had . spell
with the baby while my Wife went, and
the young one fetched the hired girl and
myself down fourteen tines on collie, 7"
and then We didn't get it right until Mrs.
Gudd came home from the spelling school
Independence, Kansas
If married men will attend the spelling
matches, they had betted leave their wives
at home. IL isn't comfortable to walk
home with her and have the dear creatur
muttering at every step, " am ashamed
| Ot your AkupEAhCty anu Ii you eAil I
spell agitate, I'll teach you when | get
you home.
The other day man ia Milwaukee found
four boys playing cards on the hay-moW
and he was proceeding To give them fits,
when one Of them spoke up and said
"We want playing keerds Tom Les
ter's mother is dead, and We were up here
showing him the pictures on the keerds "
he would not feel lonesome.
. A lady was telling friend from the
. country Of q very grand party she had
! given recently. We had two generals
! one Judge, . popular author, and q play
, writer. Yea" chimed in her wicked
! son, and there vas deputy shsrItf too
4 who said he wanted 10 zee dad, and they
: vent out before supper, and dad haan
Z come back yet" When that youth wen
: to school tha, next day with hlA head al
Q tied up. ha told the boys be had . dread
} ful othS~AsS