, 1875-11-28
HUAlUIs..

L smart thing-A mustard -plastsr,
New Bedford III said to hare but ons vs,,..
left,-a schoolnaster.
Tailor {measurlng fat customer}-"W Wou1a,n
hold tho end, sir, while 90 round2"
1t is the man With tight boots Who tslts nm,
violently ot the eter1al fitness OF thinea.
Whoever it was that called q s.nss,, n.
grouna-bos" has made ths best pun Of ,bs eos
rent month.
Teacher: "What Is the definition Of fftrt,.
tion2" Intelligent young pupil: "Is Ii ,tt.o.
ton without Intention
'tIsn't your husband little bald ?" ssted m.
lady of another. There isn'e bald halr IN N.
head MAS the hasty reply Of tho wife.
4 little 2-year-old girl, witnessing ! spov.
storm, ran to her mother, saving: "N.nn,
look out Of the window, and see the corn,
falling"
''A1fred, darling" tender1y observed r,nn~
Milwaukee wlfa to- her husband, II wish rnn.a
take down your earn now; MAriar wants to anil
the ceiling"
"What il that dog barking st?" as5sd a I'm
whose boots we're mora polished thap BIZ ides.
"Why." said bystander, she sees anothar pun.
py in your boots" ~
"The prisoner at tho bar seems to hs.s
very smooth face," said Spectator 10 Tho iaiIte
' Yes" replied tas jai'sE, ''he Was. irensd lid
before he was brought in."
The boys first reslly great lesson In acta,
usually tAkes place upon mestiuR his mostsf b
search OF the pautry- key, whicn lies securely n
tho bottom OF mis- trousers-pockes.
How vas It that Capt. Boyton hsi suea 4
very heavy weight to carry when be creased tn
English Channel? Because, as sooa II he lay
on his back, his hackers laid on hin.
The last and worst joke On the Biz Bonsnzai, I,
that OF the Professor, who. in reply to his hosts
apology that tue roast goose Was large and laau,
SAID that he ''iked big bone dnser."
When = Chinese bank fails, all the otacs1
have their heada cut OF Apf flung into eosuss
with the assets; aid il has been 800 Yeau sipea
there vas bank-failure in that country.
Grandfather to his hopeful: ..My son, ~ttA
would you rather have when you got hona
little brother or lirt!e sister," Grandson:
''Well, would rather have Little pmy."
man rushed e1c1tedly into lawyer's of1es
in Tonands lass week, and aaid: IL nan hss
r,ed loop IN my horses tail can do Aaythias
about iii" ayes; 60 md unite It. Fee 81
uHss your son Timothy failed? Z" inquired
1ubbens Of Stubbens the other dAr. oh!
not at all; he has only assigned ossr bis prop
erty and falen back to take better poatuon,"
was the reply
A Iittle boy, carrying eome sgga home from
the shop. dropped them. IL Did you break auysa
asked lie mother, when he told her Of it, mo"
sAd the little fellow, ''bat the shells GINA oa
some OF EN-"
~ can't, Abijsb," she answered, rhsa b. o.
fered to escort her to the piAno. Cant ah!ds
me l 4" he exclaimed. Indignantly, "ths d-sSoa
can't!" aud the next moment his coat-tsil yaa'
ishad through the door.
4 COW belonging to s,laa Davis, Of Vermont
s.ate six skeins OF h1rs. DIS ca1pet-Jaf3, W
knots in I skeiu, the same being hung ooa
clothes-fue to dry;" and now they don'a foo7
whether it is best 70 keep tho COW a. con, u ID
weave her up into carpets.
Tho other day when Detroit grocer spsQsd
eucac "s s-h-u-g-e-r," friend pointed out u:
word and iemarKed, THAT word isn't spelled
quite right" Ha! Iseo," Laughed .ns Eyeeet
zone would think had no edacatlm." And DO
crossed it out, aad wrote, "s-h-o-g-o-r.
A villa goose flew into Oregon and IT. aon
being opened. revealed new klod 0! g4n.
From the seed 10 buahels hava heaa faaae1' I'M
the Oregon farmers arc sitting On the ienes
with ,thelr elbows on their knees -uonoeaS
what they shall call The Lew klna o4 F8saA5 ~3't
will make from IT.
Acompositos, bleeding and bruiaets spfaaaa
for admission to Baltsmor hoaplfA tns ure.
day It turned out that he had set 70 "1he
Democracy have 40 abundance Of pleas % s -
read that they had ''an abundance Of aes.*
And tho editor SAID he'd have E1a EaTsngo u
want To iaiI khitty daT8 Tor 1t.
4 man went into furniturs-room Tho esnes
dav. ard sae down on a~wooden~ootnoned en,a;
He immediat.ly arose, and danced and nos,1
Ike the widest kind Of der7lah, Ide pioptseea
an1iorsly inquired II be- had an STACK o. aa1
Kind. nA lackW yelled the mao;" sooau
say 50. aud tho eonfounded thlAk ssooa % -
he.d, too !"'~*
.What ia tho matter, SIT ?" said surgeon "
h;a natlant. .Tell. hava easan soma o5sN
and / suppose they bave disagreed via w.
!. Hare you ezteu anything stsa: ne - La t.x
why, res, did. too. That u, sook .os a,.,sss Iy
= miuce-Qe, four bottles OF Ale, aoa NV sn5
Of GIN, and have eaten the o'sle1o sla ~ na1
really believe the oysters vera not sooo ~ ="
Asa colored resident Of Detroit w. t; oteI.d s.ad
The storm, WITH new umbrella ofef ~ IN ,.ha
be vas halted BY friend soa 2, ossa ..v.s nd
asked: lis dat your umbrella Z .@e nv.
cost me- a." ras tbs prompt reply. :a "; a. .
aee. said the o:het, vary fo!snalJ. ~ nrn
man Will buy a g umbrella to keep no w. ~ ID
\ 50-cept suit Of elese, ThAsa % aSe ~
about economy"
Little spi1ktns (vho can batuy sa1 fssnioo-
a1,it mar anuuu. but pattonizes . iaspts ~
hh1o taiIorl: ..Oh! by tha BY. hr. bto.o. ,.,.nt
Ian snr9eat any means By which conio r.' Vr.
nv trouse1s from baggiuG At tho Knees. ..oT
Brown =. Well, rir, there's only .,:,. oas do!"