Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-03-04
mlscellaneous.

Wine improves with age, but kiss
es don't. So ID
Hush money-the money paid al
babg's nurse. "A
In regard to the tax on whiskey'
that's easily rectified.
A Williamsburg woman has an ar
tificial Jaw. Did she wear the otner
one outg
These stormy Sunday evenings are
weakening the coal bins OF fami.ies
with interesting daughters.
Kalakaua is doubtless home ere
this, and getting mixed up under the
cross questioning Of Mrs. Kalakaua.
The want of the age is some other
method of freezing a novelist's hero
than with horror.--DGabwry Necs.
Huldah B. Loud is a prominent
Massachusetts suffragist, and when
she don't shrek we suppose she talks
like thunder.
-When-a Comstocker wants to dis
parage another he says: sWhen
you thoroughly prospect him, you'll
find no bonanza IN him"
AKentucky paper speaksof man
who had a narrow escape from sun
stroke, he having stood only two feet
from d man who was struck. sS
The song of the Washington youth
81 want to be a lobby man and IN
the lobby stand, with brass upon my
forehead and greenbacks in my
hand"
tits said that two Wabash avenue
lovers will sit mn half tho pinhfT- ihdT ,rifh Hi
is easily explained to any one who
has been there.
All the axes and buck-saws found
in the ruins of Pompeii are of light
make. as if constructed for woman's
use. Those old ancients knew their
little business.
speaking of inferences," said
Judge Lord, of Boston, "when we see
a crowd at the Charlestown Navy
Yard. we infer, not that there is tobe
a war, but an election"
We should dearly like to see the
chap that predicted this was going to
be mild winter, sitting on the fence
in linen duster, and listening to the
mocking bird.-Berkshire Courier.
A woman at Tiffin, Ohio, fell and
broke her arm, but she refused
two offers of assistance because the
men were strangers to her and there
was no one around to introduce them.
-ErchGnge.
81. Gray-Pack with my box
five dozen quills." There is nothing
remarkable about this sentence, only
that it is nearly as short as one can
be constructed, and yet contains the
whole alphabet. '-.-
Vermont clergymen are never per-
mitted to kiss the ladies they have
Just made brides. The dear crea-
lures put up their hands with the re-
mark: "There, that'll do. I've seen
you fellows afore.'
A Florida railroad made nineteen
cents clear last year. Now what
kind of an institution is that? Why
doesn't it get into debt, like state
canal or a state prison, and be some
thing or somebody? a.
Petersham has produced an auc-
tioneer who tells the truth. He re-
Gently told a bidder. 9Ynl,ve gnt a
good bargain on that sleigh you bid
off for 50 SO. 1t is just as good for
the hens to roost on as one that cost
$780,"
"If you men," remarked Wash
1ngton lady at a reception recently,
''would let the women's dresses alone,
there would be much less foolishness
and misery in the world" A painful
silence followed, and we suppose it
proved the truth of the remark.
That cooper was most unfortunate,
though indefatigably Industrious He
labored on for whole summer in the
repairing of impossible casks and
barrels, with a comparatively clear
conscience, but when old Dobbs
fetched along a bung-hole and re-
quested him to put a puncheon to it,
that cooper stepped down and out.
Woman does a great deal to dis
courage lofty sentiments of patriot
ism. When man leaning over the
back fence telling a neighbor how he
would shed his last drop of blood for
suffering Louisiana, it disturbs him
to have his wife yell from the kitchen:
"Look at here! are yon coming with
that bucket of water, or shall 1 come
out and see to you.-MiIacaukee Sen
tinel.
A party of men animatedly en-
gagged in discussing politics before a
store attracted the attention
of an aged agriculturist. There's
the matter here" he observ-
I'd to his wife; and, drawing in his
team, he lightly shouted toa con
individual on the outskirts,
What's afoot" Twelve inches,''
was the sardonic reply. The aged
agrIculturist swore some and drove
on.
When we consider the prevalence of
the custom to dub everybodywho went
to the wars with the title Of Captain,
Colonel, General, &c, there is a pe-
,uliar appropriateness in the follow
ing resolution, which was introduced
1T meeting of Confederate soldiers
1t Atlanta. Ca, the other day: Re
toEced, that the President appoint a
of one to inquire into the
matter of whether there were any
privates of the late war.
A woman lecturer says that mans
to man can not compare
n severity with woman's e'inhuwo- /
nanity" to woman.
Miss Brooks, of Northfield, Yer
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