davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
- -------------------
II REAL ROMANCE.

On the 30th ultimo Sylvester Guiber
son, son of N. W. Guiberson. of this
county, was married to Miss Minnie
Waters, of Excelsior, Mimi, and this is
the way it happened A young gentle
man and Miss Waters were on the lake
skating when suddenly the ice gave way
and they were treated to a remarkably
deep and cold bath. Three big towards
stood near them, but would lend no
assistance. Mr.. Guiberson was almost
q quarter of mile distant, but heard
their cries of distress, rushed TO the
scene, at once comprehended the aitua-
tion, and In moment proceeded to
rescue the young lady, who was almost
drowned and frozen, and ON arriving at
the shore informed the three cowardly
whelps that if they did not go and get
her young companion he would throw
EACH one in after hinan order they at
once obeyed Mr.. G1iberson carried
his young prize to the nearest house.
where she was properly cared for, and as
soon as she was able he escorted her to
her home. This was enough for the old
aunt Of the young lass, and straightway
the courtship began, which culminated
IN their marriage.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
PRoDIaroUs MENr4I FE4E

Mr.. Rosenthal, the celebrated French
chess player, recently performed another
of those surprising mental feats for
which he is so famous. He played at.
the Palais Royal twenty-seven games of
chess at once with that number of the
best French and foreign chess players.
It was stipulated that Mr. RosenthaI
should have only one minute for each
move, passing along the twenty-seven
tables in order. OF course each of his
antagonists had time to study the game
while Mr.. Rosenthal was busy at the
other twenty-six tables. 1t is quite nn-
necessary to point out the mental strain
of keeping thus in mind so large num-
Der of games at once, during the time
they lasted, which was from 9 O'Clock at
night until 2 o'clock in the morning.
The result was marvellous. Mr.. Rosen-
thai won twenty three games, three were
drawn, and he lost only one, which was.
gained by Hungarian player named
Rakowsld, who thus achieved victory
of which he may well be proud.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
a DAKTON ORATOR SPEAKs IN a
DERATINGA GfACEETY

--S1k<1D4AA " sCVC4G1Xa
Mr.. President The subject, I be-
heve, is. Has England been beneficial
TO this country-the United States of
American" Now want 10 know what
was Burns doing at the time of the great
Eebelion7 I mean Robert Scott Burns,
who was one of ths best poets in the
world for America. Didn't he send in
troops to Boston harbor to waylay the
Chinese pirates when they went for
20 destroy our tea, I'd like to know
sag, MIR. President 2 Why was it, I
want to know, that the English govern
ment settled the Alabama claims? Be-
cause Gen. Schenck, our Minister there,
preached to 'em and converted 'em.
But, / win ask, why didn't Gen. Schenck
go furder, and call out the troops, and
save the tea in the Boston harbor2 It's
because. guess, his hair was too short.
Here the orator paused, and brushing
back his curling locks, took a fresh
start
What side am I on, Mr. PRESIDENT 2
Oh, yes, I've got it, Tn agin England
every timel [Cheers, indicating that the
hearts of the audience were in the right
place. AS I was saying, why don't
Gen. Schenck put stop to this Pacific
mail matter7 Is the English a-going to
beat him thar, I'd like to know2 And
there's John Pi-att and Bob Shoemaker
taking money from the English for to
keep up the derned nonsense And
didn't Bob Shoemaker put $500 in the
Bank of England, and didn't John Pi-att
git $50 of it, and git away with it, and
say he'd have $50 more or he'd raise the
dev19 I'd like to know. He said he
was an editor, and must have it, or he
couldn't maintain the independence of
these United States of America! is he
a-going to do that business with British
gold, I'd like to know2 I wonder if he
ever heard of Plymouth Rock2 That's
what's the matter with John Pi-att.
That's the rock that done the business
for Henry Ward Beecher! IF he hadn't
named his church for it, and stayed
zway from It, he'd been o. K. You see
he joined the Oigarchy. and he went
under. But you see Andy johnson he
went agin the British Olgarchy, and
he's O. K--isn't he? You bet. Now,
In view of all these things, which are
matters of history, I'd like to know how
England has ever been beneficial to this
COuntry2 How kin she ever beG I
hope you'll not forget what I have said
about the English working agin us
through the Vaccinations of the Chinese
pirates, John Pi-att, Bob Shoemaker and
them, in spite of Schenck and Andy
johnson and them and with these few
remarks, hope you will decide agin
England every time. [Storm of applause. ]
Dayton Democrat.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
B.aRRELED LIVE PORK.

A Portsmouth man lost his pig from
its sty in a mysterious way the other day.
A vigorous search of the neighborhood
did not reveal its whereabouts. Two
days later, as the sad owner was standing
by the deserted pen, meditating upon
his loss, he cast his eye toward barrel
that stood on end within few feet of
the inclosure, and noticed something
feebly reckoning him to approach. He
looked again-'twas pigs tail. He
walked along quickly and looked into
the barrel, and there was piggy, with
scarcely breath of life left in him.
The pig had evidently fallen into the
barrel when he jumped from the pen,
and had stood on his head for two days
and nights, while his owner was hunting
all over the city to find him.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26

fees. In fact, time will arrive when
the burden of much larger armament
will compel question between disarma-
ment and initiative in war. IF only to
secure peace, Germany viii have to ap-
peal to arms, or, if not she, some other
power involved in this wild sword-dance
OF nations. Such is the inevitable re-
suit of an initiation of armaments pro-
ceedlng upon rivalry and provocation !;
and it can only be averted by a timely
resolution to be content with what one
has, and to stand only on ones guard
against unprovoked aggression.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
ROBERT HUMPHREYD LITTLE
JOKE

One Robert Humphreys proved rather
queer customer to saloon-keep-
er in Jersey City, one morn
ing last week. The bar-keeper com
ing down to open the saloon to GUS
toners, saw Robert Humphreys, very
dissipated person, leaning against lamp
post outside the saloon, evidently waiting
for the morning drink which is neces-
sity to the habitual drunkard. The
liquor man opened the place, took his po-
sition behind the bar, and waited for
Robert to come in. Robert, he knew,
would take whisky whisky is fifteen
cents a drink, and Robert would COP
But Robert continued to lean against the
lamp post outside, and the bar-keeper was
led to wonder if the man wasn't hard up
and unable to pay for the drink The
sun came up over the roofs of the houses
and streamed down upon the man lean
ing against the lamp-post, but he did not
move, and the man who sold whisky
looking out intently discovered that Rob-
ert's eyes were closed. This explained
why the man did not come In for his
drink he had actually fallen asleep
standing, reasoned the bar keeper. It is
tantalizing to a dealer in any class of
goods to have probable customer in
sight and be unable to reach him, and
the gentleman who mixed drinks began
to feel injured that the man outside
should not be awakened by the clatter of
passing teams and the noise of people on
the sidewalk and come in. Other GUS
toners came and went in the saloon, but
Robert Humphreys stayed outside lean
ing against the lamp p-post. Finally the
bar-keeper, in disgust, gave up expecting
him, and Robert Humphreys came in!
Three men brought him in they said
they believed he was frozen, and laid him
down by the stove to thaw. After they
had gone, the bar-keeper examined
Humphreys and found not only that he
was dead, but that he had been dead for
some time. There, in Jersey City, ID
broad day light, with the roar and hustle
of Life around it, with pedestrian9on the
sidewalk crushing against it, corpse had
stood leaning against lamp-post un-
noticed during all the morning. The
joke that Robert Humphreys played upon
that saloon-keeper was complete, and the
men drinking at the bar during the re-
mainder of the day had something to talk
and laugh about. It was quite droll
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26

Mr.. THOMAS HOUSE, of Stanford, KY,
good, honest yeoman, owns the model
cow COW more wonderful in some Of
her qualities than the one that jumped
over the moon. Mr.. Thomas House,
truthful and reliable farmer, tells about
the COW himself to the editor of the
local newspaper, and he says that she is
ten years old, and that she hass never
seen rail of the fence, or q gap down
that she did not put it up with her
horns. And If she sees gate standing
open she viii close and fasten it. IF
she sees other stock on the place
break into another inclosure she viii
drive It ont and put up the fence. Here
Is . quadruped as is quadruped, my
covey # that COW, as breeder, is not
held second only to the mother Of his
sturdy young Kentuckians in the esti-
nation Of Mr.. Thomas House, he isn't
ut TO own her-the COW, We mean.
Careful, wise and conscientious, why,
that COW ought TO be made Secretary of
the Treasury.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26

THE CONCORD FIGHT OF 1878.
The town of Concord, Mass, purposes
to celebrate the Centennial anniversary
of sc Concord fight - on the 18th of
April, 1875, IN manner appropriate to
the importance of that day which s'made
Cancellation impossible and Independence
certain" The exercises will consist of
an Grafton by George William Curtis, of
New York grand military and civic
procession to the site of the ssOld North
Ridge ;" the unveiling and dedication of
a bronze statue of Minute Man on the
spot where Davis and Hosmer fell, and
where was ss fred the shot heard around
the world y public dinner, with toasts
and speeches, and a grand ball, in the
evening. The people of Acton, Bedford,
Beverly, Billerica, Brookline, Cam
bridge, Charlestown, Chelmsford, Dam
vers, Dedham, birmingham, Lexington,
Lynn, Medford, Needham, Newton,
Roxbury, Salem, Stow, Sudbury, Water
town and Woburn have been invited to
participate in the celebration, as their
fathers did in the struggle for liberty.
The town of Concord hopes that all those
who are connected with her by descent
or affection will join with her in this In
teresting commemoration.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
WoMANs wars.

Few, if any, brides this season have
worn white satin.
MARABoUT feather head-dresses are
worn now by the dowagers.
SPEoULATIoNs upon the coming spring
bonnet begin to occupy the female mind
BLACK velvet (smaIl) nnuffs, trimmed
with fur on wide black satin ribbon, con-
tinue the most fashionable.
SHORT wallzing-skirts are fast waning
in popularity. The silly fashion was
carried to ridiculous extremes.
AND now comes q Boston girl who
wants q new undergarment called
"prima," because it is the first to be
put on.
THE Scientific American has found
woman 83 years of age, who at
tributes her long life to abstinence from
bathing.
AT recent distribution of prizes by
the School Board of Leeds, England,
every prize, with one exception, was taken
by girl.
THERE is some probability of the
ACbANAL "a CIAAOlLl6 III tAA 40 GAOAJ
next summer. The news ought to occa-
sion regret.
VELvErEEN is very little worn this
season. There is little if any economy
in buying this material, more especial
| ~ as velvet was never SO cheap as now.
MILWAUKEE is ON the verge of depopu-
lation. Her girls have resolved to die
old maids rather than marry any one
who can't be happy without intoxication.
KATIE BATES, of New Bedford, lost a.
large piece of her tongue by applying it.
to frosty iron hitching-post the other
day. Katie will miss it when she grows
up.
QUESTIONS put to his sweetheart by a
bashful lad, during their first tcte-a-tete:
How's your father2 How's your mother
How are your parents? How are your.
father and mother? How are they both 2
A FEW weeks since Chicago drummer.
saw young lady blowing field in Ma
coupin county, Ill. He stopped to ask ::
"When do you begin cradling2" "Not
till heads are better filed than yours, -
was the sententious reply. The young
man passed musingly on.
AN ambitious Providence undertaken
went to Boston, and there falling in love
with wealthy lady connected with one
of the "old families, y asked her hand in
marriage. The proud damsel looked at.
him for a moment, and said, "Sir, I
must consider your proposition grave
joke" s&v
PRETTY SALLIE ADAMS, of Portland,
brought the man, she loved to the
popping point by saying to him,
while CLEANS of love-ight shot from her
half-shut eyes, 81 have had two offers
of marriage. The first did not please
me, and, as for the second, IL have a
superstitious regard for odd numbers. %
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
AN UNHEALTHY TR4DE.

A physician of Sheffield, England,
makes the statement that the forkgrind-
ers employment is probably more fatal
than any other pursued in England.
There are generally from eight to ten IN
dividnals at work in each room where the
industry is carried on. The grinding is
always performed on dry stone, and the
dust. composed of fine particles Of stone
and metal, rises in clouds, and pervades
the atmosphere to which the operatives
are confined. The DUST which is inhaled
with every breath, gradually induces
disease Of the lungs, and undermines the
Vigor Of the constitution. Difficulty of
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
Il SOLD INSURANCE MN.

Printers are naturally in for joke.
They are proverbially fond of fun but
to look at them you wouldn't think it.
Here is a good joke ''printer man %
played on his fellow lodger in Pottsville
A certain insurance man in town, who
boards at the same hotel with one of the
night compositors of the Journal, in or
newspaper, entered into an arrangement
with the printer to get the news as soon
as he got up. The printer was to write
out brief sketch of all the important
news and stick the paper under the in
surance mans door. A few mornings
since the latter got up and dressed him.
self, excepting one boot and stocking
and his coat, when he espied the paper
under his door. He picked it up and
read as follows 'sGrant assassinated.
Country in an uproar. Mrs. Sartoris and
Mrs. Grant carried off by masked kid
nappers while insensible. A member of
the Cabinet supposed to be the assassin.
800, 600 reward offered by Congress. -
Without completing his toilet he rushed
out of the room and wakened up several
boarders, told them of the great news
and scared them out of their wits. We
leave to our readers to conjecture, if they
can, the disgust of the whole party when
they found how they had been sold.
The insurance man has sworn to sub
scribe to daily paper.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26

WHEN you can't think of what your
wife charged you to bring home, get
hair-pins. They are always handy in the
house. Get them out of your pocket
without breaking the package. A stray
hair-pin may sometimes wreck house
hold. A young man took home hair
pin, one evening last week, to his wife.
He presented it to her as birthday gift.
She was delighted, until she found a
long hair attached to it. His doctor
thinks he may possibly recover the use
of his eyes.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
THE eHAssHopPEn cALAm1rr

Mr.. Watts, the Commissioner of Agri-
culture. In summing up the grasshopper
calamity, makes out tho devastated area
to be about 200 miles north and south,
and about 500 miles east and west, alto
gether an area of O,O0O square miles,
or a district nearly one and a half times
as large as New England. The popula-
ion of this district was half a million
four years ago, and is now probably
75O, 900. As nearly as can be deter
mined, fully $4,000 are in more or less
destitution, and probably u, 600 will not
cover the whole number of persons who
have suffered damage.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
TIE LARGEST SILK MILL IN TIL
WORLD.

| The Manningham mills, near Brad
ford, England, are said to be the largest
in the world. They cover an area of
about G., 500 square yards, being nearly
| eleven acres; and reckoning the several
stories of the mill and warehouse, give a
total extent of foorage of about sixteen
acres. The new mill, to the west, at the
rear of the combing shed is six stories
high, not including the cellar, of very
handsome external appearance in dressed
stone, having a bold cornice with blocks,
and above this an ornamental and PAN
eled parapet. The staircase is in the
center of the front, and stands clear out
from the main walls, and is more orna-
mental than the rest of the building, and
with its turret-formed roof, srrmounted
with large flagstaff, makes beautiful
feature IN the great length of frontage.
The four corners of the mill are also
marked by raised parapets, which gave
pleasing effect to the large block of build
mgs. Each room contains an area of
1900 square yards-the tier of windows
on each side numbering forty -one-so
that at rough calculation the whole mill
VIII give an area of about 1000 yards.
The new warehouse, further to the rear,
parallel with the mill, but separated from
it by the reservoir, is sixstories high, and
viii furnish, reckoning each floor, room
to the extent of about 1000 square
yards. The top rooms in both ware
house and mill are arranged in a novel
form, having shed and may be used
for loom weaving. noteworthy feature
In connection with the new works is the
erection of an immense chimney of a
somewhat novel design, at the rear of the
central shed and at the end of the ware
house. It is already raised to consid-
cradle height, and an idea may be formed
of the imposing appearance it will have
when complete. It will be eighty three
yards high, square in form, and out
wardly of uniform width froro bottom
to top. Nearly 1000 tons weight of ma
teria1 viii be used In its construction.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26

frightened in it's new home. Many per-
sons called to see it yesterday, among
them several gentlemen well versed in
ornithology, and all averred that they
had never seen or heard of anything like
this bat. It is the intention of Mr.. Page
to send it to the Smithsonian Institution
at Washington.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26

WITH extraordinary strides the COM
merce of France is passing beyond any
era IN its history The exports and ind
ports in 1874 amounted 10 over 81 800. :.
00O.00C, exceeding any former year, and
showing an increase over 1873 Of $780,
900, and over 1868, when the en-
pire fourished most, of $3.50, 600, 900.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26
An UNHAPPY ATTACHMENT.

A painful scene occurred in church in
Bucks township, Ohio, a few Sun
days ago. The church had lately
undergone repair. Among other i'm
provements q new coat of paint was
placed on the pews, followed by a coat
of varnish. The result was most pleas
ing to the eye; but, unfortunately, the
varnish had been applied SO late in the
week that it had not had time to become
hard before Sunday, when the congrega-
ton focked to their seats. No apparent
inconvenience was suffered until the
clergyman was about to deliver the bene-
Gction, when the congregation was hor-
rified to find that they were unable to
stand up /; they were, in fact, glued, or
rather vanished, TO their seats. Their
spasmodic efforts to rise were most dis
tressing to witness; in vain did the
clergyman exhort them from the pulpit
to resignation. They were seized with a
kind of panic, all the more frightful be-
cause they were for the moment power
less at last, by what seemed to be a
simultaneous and herculean jerk, they
managed to tear themselves from their
sittngs !; but at what q sacrificed The
pews were literally covered with frag
ments of Sunday apparel. Shreds of
silk, lawns, calico, broadcloth and cassi-
meres were left as souvenirs of the var
nish used in identifying that church, and
the hapless congregation, rushing from
the doors, hurried homeward with an ex-
preston on their faces as though their
hearts were even more severely rent than
their garments.
The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-03-26

breathing, coughing and wasting Of the
frame are often experienced by workmen
at the early age of twenty-five. The
average longevity of merpbers of the
trade does not exceed thirty years
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-07-01
What She Thought.

Marion showed me her wedding gown
And her veil of goSsamei-ace tonight,
And the orange blooms that tomorrow morn
Shall fade in her soft hairs golden light.
Eul i'hllip came to the open door;
Like the heart Of aWdrose glowed her cheek,
ANA they wandered OFT through the garden paths
No be,t that they did not care to speak.
wonder how ii seems to be loved;
10 know You arc fair IN some ones eyes:
That upon some one your beauty dawns
Every day a. a new surprise.
70 know that whether YOU weep or smile.
neither Nour mode he grave or CAV
Somebody thinks Won all The while
NWcrter than any flower in MAY,
/ wonder W hat it would be to love:
That. thiak. would be sweeter far
10 know that one out of all the world
Vas lord OF your life. your King, your star
They talk of loves sweet tumut and pain;
am not sure that understand
lhOugh-;t thrill ran down to my tnger-tip,
once When->omebody my hand.
wonder what it would be to dream
OF 4 child that might one day be your own.
OF The hidden springs of your life part,
Flesh Of YOUR flesh and bone Of your bone.
Marion stopped one day to kiss
y bcggar'> babe. with tender grace
While some sweet thought, Ike prophecy,
Looked from her pure Madonna face
| wonder hat it may be to think
IQ-molroW WllI be Your weddng-'iay,
And IN The radiant sunset GLOW
Down fragrant. tioWery paths to stray
A. Marion does this blessed night
With Philip, lost i'll Il blissfu! dream,
I an She feel his heart through the silence beat
Does he see htr eyes III the starlight 4lram
Questioning thus my days 90 on
But never an answer comes to mo:
MI loves mysteries, sweet is strange
Sealed away from my life must be-
xii tIp a t,f....
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-07-01
Armies Daughter,

BY AIRS. LOUISE CHANDLER MoULToN.
The lingering charm Of q dream that has fed
The echo that lives when the tune is dead,
The sunset glories that follow the sun.
The taste that remains when the Wine is done
Everything tender and everything fair
That was, Is not, and yet is there
! think Of them all when | look in these ewes,
And see the old smile to the Young lips rise
remember the lilacs, all purple and white
ANA me turf at the feet of my hearts delight
HpmSled with daisies and violet, sweet
l'antiest floor for the dantiest feet
ana Inc face that WAS fond and foolish and fair
Nhd me golden grace of the floating hair,
ana the lips where the glad smiles came and
Went.
And the lasheS that shaded the eyes content.
remember the pledge of the red Young lips.
And the Shy, soft touch Of the tnger-tips,
And the kisses | stole, and the words we spoke,
md the ring gave, and the coin we broke,
And the love that never should change or fail
Though the earth stood still or the stars turned
pale;
And again / stand, when see these ewes,
A glad Young fool. in my Paradise.
For the earth and the stars remained as of old
Bat The love that had been so warm grew cold
Vas It she: Was it |: | don't remember;
men 1t was June-it is now December
l{ut AGAIN dream the old dream over.
Ny Anne 50 young, and am her lover.
" men look i'll this Annie's gentle eyes,
AND see the old smile to the young lips rise.