Litchfield enquirer., 1875-03-11
CLIPPINGS


 tempts the devil.
 No other living being can go so slow on an errand as a boy.
 In cemetries physicians often see the names of their patients on a monument.
 Giraffe in the Park-'Look Grumpy, do I? Well, guess if you had six foot and O. half of Sore Throat you'd look Grumpy too" EIAag e5EA -
 When a Florida Indian is likely to die his friends place him where an alligator can take him, and thus save burial expen- ses.
 Josh Billings says: "'Give the devil his due reads well enough in proverb; but what will become of you and me if this arrangement is carried out?" ~gb
 It may not be true, but it IS said that an Irishman, after seeing the numerous hills and mountain ranges of New Hamp- shire, exclaimed, "Bedad, never was in country before where they had so much land they had to stack it..
 The statistical editor of the Times, Grand Island, Nebraska, says ''90, ,OO0, ,OOO.- COG, 900, ,OOO, 900, ,000, GOO, ,000, 900 grasshop- Pers. at least, passed over here yesterday
  as we did not count very closely"
 Harry, after looking on while his new little sister cried at being washed and dressed, turned away, saying, eff she screamed like that up in heaven, I don't wonder they sent her here"
 Little Johnnie is dead, but before his spirit was waited to angels, he requested that water melon vine might be allowed to ramble at will over his grave that it might be warning to future generations. Mir. Jones, of Vermont. sad on his dv- ing bed that he had never written q l1ne which he cared to erase. The whole State was proud of him till it xas found out that he could not even write his own name.
 Dr. Hawks o3 one occasion had an ar gument with one of his vestry-men in ref erence to the increase of his salary.
 ''Then you don't believe the Lord will feed the young ravens?" said the vestry- man.
 "Oh, yes, I do,' replied the doctor: "but nothing is said about the young hHWks." Massachusetts woman of strong mind, who has been opposed to matrimony, hay ing recently received a desirable offer of marriage, receeded from her views as fol- lows: "Mr. Bates, have reflected upon your proposition, and have concluded to submit to the humiliating sacrifice you demand"
 A hot we'll was recently discovered at Portlandville, Dakota, during the process of sinking well there. The drill had sunk about thirty feet, an open space be- low was discovered, and by sounding they could not find the bottom. When the drill was withdrawn, volume of hot steam is- sued from the hole at the top, and has continued to escape ever since.
 A gentleman. walking behind two school children on Washington avenue, the other day, heard the boy enquire: will you be at the party tonight ?" 'I shall be there, answered the Miss, "but I might as well tell you now, that your love IS hopeless; mamma is determined father is set, and it isn't right for me to encourage your attentions. can be sister to you but nothing more So you needn't buy me any valentines or give me any more gum."
 From the Danbury News:
 There is nothing so exhaustive to the nervous forces as going down a church ~A0AS A~ @ P0A OA hC" UOOIS. The dull times affects the prices of some artlcles. A very good rhinoceros can now be bought for 5000.
 The Daubury man who tried to start a meat market in Lent, is now travelling in Africa with a preparation for curling hair. A St. Louis woman received $3. 300 from dentist who broke her jaw. Her husband furnished the dentist the money. A Danbury woman married for sec- ond husband a man who has the same in- ltlals as the first. thus saving the trouble and expense of re-marking the linen.
 DrJohn Hall wants ministers to preach in gowns. It is the ancient pulpit garb. 1t hides awkwardness, it is said. The true preacher hides his awkwardness with ideas.
 man with a cold sneezed thirteen times Tn succession at the Opera House, Thursday evening. ''Louder!'' cried some facetious party back of him. ''T would. he promptly replied, "if didn't have such bad cold"
 farmer named Hobbs, living in Slaw- son, died suddenly, on Thursday. He leaves a large family of children unprovid- ed for, but the most painful part of the affair IS that he died of disease whose name none of his friends can spell
 Officer McCann discovered man asleep m the lot next to the engine house, Mon day nlght He had q newspaper over his face. The officer thought it was a dead body, by the position of the paper which the inebriate said he had laid over him. self as he didn't want to be eaten up by flies.
 We have received an invitation to at tend a grand masquerade ball at the Ala mo Hotel Tn Derison, Texas. The writer incidentally mentions that eight boys were killed the morning he writes, and that they have a genteel murder there every day. We regret that another en- gagement will prevent us from accepting the invitation.
 The proprietors of the candy-gitt-lot- tery store have left town. Owing to a lit tle financial difficulty in settling up their affairs, they separated with hot words and omlnous threats It is unfortunate. for some of our citizens were in fair way to make their fortunee. Every citizen who bought five dollars worth of candy was sure of dollar in coin. So, a man with few thousand dollars capital could easi ly make from fifty to hundred dollars a week; which is better than working twelve hours day on small salary.
 There was dog trotting along with a farmers team through Main street, ,yester- day: Another dog saw him and rushed madly after hlm. Then ths first dog stopped and turned carefully around. Whereupon the second dog also paused and commenced to gaze abstractediy over the top of the first dog. and onto the roofs of the neighboring buildings. The first dog then wheeled about and contir1. ued after the team, and the second dog recovered himself and returned quietly to the store.
 The following items were crowded out of last weeks issue.