The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-07-19
A Laagnabse ssory -" About Ice
Crcum."

From the Detroit Free Press.l
He slipped into an ice.creasn saloon very
softly, and when the girl asked him what ne
wanted he replied: a
Corn.beef, fried potatoes, pickles. ana
mincepc."
"This is not a restaurant; this is an ice
cream parlor." she said.
"Tben why did you ask me what
wanted for? Why didn't you bring on your
icc.cream?'
She went after it, and as she returned he
continued:
"You sec, my dear girl, you must infer
YOU p,ust ressop. 1t isn't likely that | would
Come into an ice.c cream paror 10 huV grind
stone. is il! You did not think l came in
here to ask if you had any baled hay, did
you?"
She looked at him in great surprise, and
he went on:
"If I owned hardware store and you
came in | would infer that you came for
something 10 my line. | wouldn't step out
and ask you if you wanted to buy mule,
would II" -,
She went away highly indignant. An old
lady was devouriDg dish of cream at the
next table, and the stranger, after watching
her for moment. called out:
hairs or buttons in your dsb!"
mercy! non' she exclaimed, as She
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
"WeIl, Pm glad of it," be continued. eff
YOU find any just let me know"
She looked ut him for half minute, picked
I'D the spoon, laid it down again, and then
rose up snd left the room. She must have
said something to the proprietor, for he CAME
running in and tXclaimed:
did you tell that " oman there were halrs
and buttons in my ice cream"
No, SIR
"You didu't?
ono. sir, did not; merely requested
her, in case she found any such ingredients,
to inform mel"
DWELL. sir, that was mean trick"
"My dear sir" said the stranger, smiling
softly" you expect Inc to ask the woman
if she had found crOw.bar or sledge.bam-
mer in her cream? 1t is impossible, sir, for
such articles to be hidden away IN such small
dishes"
The proprietor went away growing, and
"a the stranger quietly supped away at his
cream two young ladies' came in, sat down
near him, and ordered cream and cakes. He
waited until they had eaten little, and then
b. .rmarkcd:
Reg pardon, ladies, but do you observe
ANYTHING peculiar in the taste of this cream +"
They tasted, smackcd their lip, and were
not certain
"Does it taste to you as if plug Of to-
lacco iad fallen into the freczer!" he asked.
cab! kah !" they exclaimed, dropping
their spoons, and trying to spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and 1t
wasn't long before the proprietor rushed in.
"See here, what in blIZes are you talking
about ?" he demanded. w hat do you mean
by plug.lobscco in the freezerI"
"My kind friend. asked the ladies' if this
cream tasted of plug.tobacco. don't taste
any such taste, and don't believe you used
biz of tobacco in it,"
"Wsll, you don't want to talk that way
around here" continued the proprietor.
"My ice-cream Is pure. and the man who
says |: isn't tells 4 bold lie"
lie went away again, and woman with
long neck and il sad face sat down, and said
TO the girl that she would take smull dish OF
lemon ice.
Ii was brought, aud she had taken about
two mouthfuls when the stranger inquired:
"Exru,e me, madam, but do you know
how this cream was mlde-have you an idea
that they grated turnip and chalk with the
cream"
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up,
wheeled around, and made for the door.
The stranger followed after, and by great
good luck his coai.tas cleared the door an
instant too soon to be struck by Il tivc-pound
bcx nt figs, hurled with great force by the
Indignant proprietor. AS he reached the
curb-stonc he halted, looked at the door oil
the parIor, and sOlIloquized:
"There are times when people should IL
fer. and there are times when they shouldn't.
suppose if l had asked that woman if she
thought they dashed up saw-mil in the
cream she'd have felt n circular saw going
down her throa'.'