Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1875-03-25
A FEARFUL, AND RISKY BUSINESS.
PRENTICE MULroRp.


marriage is fearful and risky business.
No one knows what may turn up on
either side Temper and temperament
are such peculiar things! However,
Cali is quiet on the Potomac " The
marriage service has never been fully
written out People who marry do not
know what they are promising. The
bond should read:
"You promise to take this man, or
this woman, for life; you must not, at
ter walk OF talk with any other woman
if you are man, OF any other man, If
you are woman, save in the most cir
cumspect and guarded manner; you
must not become interested in any 9TH
er woman, if you are interested you
must not show it; you must consider
your wife OF your husband as the in
comparable man or woman in the uni
verse; there must be none other like
unto him OF her; if there be, or you
think there be, you must, if possible, not
believe it, or try not to believe it B; you
must now wholly be devoted to each
other; you now lay aside all remember
ances of your old flames; you must get
rid of the idea that you ever had any
re gard for them if you had, you must
try and make yourself believe you had
not; and, if such notion will stick to
ya1eH must never mention it to each
other,s there will be row."
ouflg man and young woman, you
think that the divine intoxication of
courtship is to last forever You think
its always, going to be a pleasure to
run a mile through mud and rain to
buy Seraphine Ann q paper of pins.
But this state Of things cant last Its
TOO high-pressure it nuseeooE .down.
When you are married, ana she IS yours
and YOU are hers, and the the novelty
IF the affair is over, and you are fairly
settled down into cold married folks. I
then comes the test. Then, if you have
been a grabbed old bachelor, full of lit
tie whims, habits and peculiarities, as is
the fretful porcupid of quilts, then will
come the tug of war. Don't you recol-
feet how, when single, and YOU came
home, after some tedious business, heat
ed, tired, irritable, and disguised with
the world, and got alone in your room,
that you used to fling books and blacks
ing brushes about, and swear and
thrash about for an hour or two before
you simmered down into comparative
calmness =? Well, matrimony won't
cure this at least at first But you
must not cut up so now! Even TEN
porary raving maniac is not proper or
q pleasant person for a young woman
to shut herself up alone with But, if
on entering, she sees trouble on your
face, and asks you, whats the matters'
and you reply ''Oh, nothing !'-because
you don't want to he spoken to, and a.
bove all things it annoys and irritates
you to be so interrogated-and still she
persists in asking, ''What's the matters?
and still you try to say "Oh, nothing !"
as mild as YOU can, only it wont be
said mildly,and it cores of'your tongue
as pistol shot, and you would just
then like to bite somebody's head off
oh wont you wonder at such a time
where the amiability, the oil, the sugar,
the honey, the sunshine of courtship all
gone to And how you will feel-you
who have been accustomed to 60 in and
out of your vile bachelors den without
inquiry OF hinderance how will you
feel as you start out for the purpose OF
getting a drink around the corner, to
hear her say, "Where are you going q
and this dozen times a day? And
every time it is asked you must rack
your brain for new lie And those
girls on the opposite side of the street
who are always at the window, and
With whom, before marriage, you car
lied on a sort of an optical Irritation
which, to be sure, went no further thar
che eyes-how do you feel now as yor
catch yourself still looking into those
windows, and find your wife regarding
YOU in peculiar manner, and you know
that she knows that you know how SHE
Knows all about your goings on at those
windows
But I have learned a great deal dur
ing my short matrimonial career.
would not have remained single if only
Tor the sake of the information / hav,
..sained. / know now, in the first plac
that ones wife is never in the wrong
e there's row. its you, all You, and j
IS every bit your fault. You may labo
by the hour trying to make her owl
tp that, there being one pound avoirdu
tf,is or sixteen ounces of blame between
YOU, you are willing to take fifteel
4unces of the blame, provided she will
at shoulder the remaining ounce ant
.ont. When she says she will only b.
i've minutes getting ready to 60 out, i
.seans an hour; and when she says sh