Litchfield enquirer., 1875-10-14
CLIPPINGS.

Comfortable quarters-twenty-five cen pieces.
 If Hrocks ever bled. they would blee quartz.
 Four wild pigeons and seventy-five mel with guns passed North, Saturday after noon.
 The Marshall, (Ga.) Messenger cries "FOr the Lords sake. friend, don't keel telling an editor how to run his paper Let the poor devil find it out himselfr'
 'The first step towards wealth." sayl an exchange, '.is the choice of good wife" And the first step towarns secur ing . wife is the possession of good wealth.
 The Springfield Republican should stu. dY Mark Twain's ''Innocents Abroad. {" IL tells how to drop 6 tear over Adams graye.-- Winsted Press.
 Helmbold has been released from the insane asylum, it having been proved that he did not, as was charged, attempt to pay an advertising account.
 An experienced farmer opines that the the man who blows stumpy ground with a pair of lively mules without swearing is prepared to go through purgatory with an eveFcoat on.
 The three wonders of the world at pres. ent are: How fluff accumulates in vest pockets, where the pins go to, and why when man comes out of a saloon hs looks one way and goes the other.
 A pair of stairs that ordinarily are a. solid as rock will straddle in the joint, and creak and crack together with all tho fervor of thunder clap when one is at tempting to climb them noiselessly late al night.
 A London dentists circular says that as general thing, only men of culture % into the tooth drawing profession. And yet 1t must be admitted thvt many ot them are not men of gentle extraction,
 When a man wants plug of tobacco the grocery three-fourths of mile &way is only step. but if his wife wants drink of cool water from a neighbours vel opposite, by some mysterious agency tha we'll becomes more than half a mil, away.
 A man rushed breathlessly into a law yer's office in St. Paul, and, approachins the legal luminary, excitedly remarked "A man has tied hoop to my horsei tail. Can I do anything ?'' sYes." re piled the lawyer. Ego and unite it. Thi. was good advice and only cost the mar 5 dollars.
 Of a recent law lord, of high place anf low morals. this story is told: Addressin, his son and heir-a we'll known black shee, he said ''It pains me to think tha when am dead my fortune will % to tb, greatest scamp in England" s'Yes. fath er." said the dutiful and appreciative son "when you are dead" It was a neat re tort. but horrible revelation.
 Archduke Maximilian, of Bavaria. wen, recently to Vienna to visit his daughter. .th, Empress of Austria. He always travels quietly; and was mistaken for a business man by talkative Austrian tradesmau. who. after telling all his own affairs. ask cd the Archduke where he was going ''Going to Vienna. "On business ss.sNo to visit my daughter, who married ar Austrian. la your son-in law in good business r ''Well, tolerably good. bu troublesome ct times." .What ia he r '"The Emperor" The tradesman VII, covered with confusion, and. .notw withskand ing the laughing protestations of tho Archduke, he darted from the carria0, at the very first stopping place.
 A child. when told that God is every where. asked, 'Tn this room?" "Yes ''In the closet?" 'sYes." ssTn the draw. ers of my deskl" ''Yes, everywhere. He', in your pocket now: No. bs a;nt though." ''And why not?" s.Tauth aine dot no pottet.
 A country clergyman, just recovering from the effects of severe bo,l on nj, nose, stopped an urchin near Fort Green the other day. and asked the way to th, corner of Fulton and Clinton streets. Tht boy glanced at him suspiciously for mo ment and said: "Welf, yer needn't Q, there mister. there ain't no gin mill ol that corner"
 From the Daa6nry Nesvs
 The balloonatic is in town and the ai, IA hlied with the little red balls.
 The cautious editor of the .Saratooia, calls 1t ''that Amsterdam flea" He think, Amsser givesstOne to the sentiment.
 An anxious tramp aroused an entir, family and awoke nearly the whole O the street, at 3 o'clock, Friday morning to learn the time. And then he didn learn it.
 William Fleming of Monroe is the lates EnOch Arden. He came home after ar inexplicable absence of two years. an. when he found that his.wife had not mar ried again he swore like e pirate.
 A fellow at the fair, yesterday, whil looking out for pick-pockets was relieves of . paper of tobacco and a nickel five cent piece. Fortunately he had two cent in another pocket that the rascal over looked.
 Nov that the law prohibiting the shoot ing of partridges is of full as many spoitamen are proving about the fields n there were before. We are alawys glae to receive any items of interest, and if an, ofthese legitimate sportsmen get q gun shot wound we hope that they will not b, bashful and try to keep it out of the pa peFs.