Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1875-12-03
THANKSGIVING in Danbury.

Thanksgiving in Danbury.
It is just as necessary to have poul-
try for a Thanksgiving dinner as it is
to have light. A Danbury couple
named Brigham were going to have
poultry for their dinner. Mr.. Brig
ham said to his wife the day before
the event:
81 saw some splendid chikens in
front of Merrill's store to-day, and [
guess I'll get one of them this after
noon for tomorrow"
81 am going to tend to that myself"
said Mrs. Brigham, quickly.
"But I can get it just as well; I'm
going right by there"
81 don't want you to get il" she as
serted. "When eat chicken I want
something l can put my teeth in."-
And hard look came to her face.
He colored up at once.
"What do you mean by that!"
"Just what I say" she explained,
setting her teeth together.
''Do you mean to say don't know
how to pick out chicken?' he angri-
ly demanded.
81 do"
swell, I can just tell you, Mary Ann
Brigham, that l know more about
chickens in one minute than you could
ever find out in lifetime. And, fur
thermore, l am going to buy that
chicken if one is bought at all in this
house." And he struck the table
with his fist.
"And I tell you, John Joyce Brig
ham," she cried, ''that you don't know
any more how to pick out a good
chicken than an unweaned mud-tur-
tie; and if you bring a chicken in this
house it will 60 out again quicker'n
it come in. And you can put that in
your pipe an smoke it as soon as you
want to-"
"Whose house is this, ! want to
know" he freely demanded. =
She frankly replied at once:
81 suppose it belongs to fat-head
idiot with wart on his nose, but a
woman who knows spring chicken
from hump-back camel is running
the establishment, and as long as she
does he can't bring no patent-leather
hens here to be cooked"
"Yon'll see what I'll do" he yelled,
and he pulled his coat on and jammed
his cap on his head with the fore-piece
over his left ear.
"You bring chicken here if you
think best, Mister Brigham" she re-
piled.
"You see if DON'T" he growled as
he passed out and slammed the door
behind him.
That evening there was nice, fine
chicken in the pantry, but he didn't
bring it. Perhaps he forgot to get his.
Dinner came the next day. Mr..
Brigham took his seat at the table, as
usual, but it was evident that he in
tended mischief. Mr.. Brigham filled
a plate with chicken, mashed potatoes
and boiled onions. It was a tempting
dish, emitting delicious aroma. She
passed it to Mr.. Brigham. He did
not look towards it.
Brigham" said she," here's your
plate"
II don't want any chicken" he said,
looking nervously around the room.
care you going to eat that chicken?"
she demanded in voice of low inten-
sity.
"No, [ ant't-Wooh! ouch? ooh!"
She had sprung to her feet in a flash,
reached over the table, caught him
by the hair and had his face burrow-
ing in the dish of hot on; ). It was
done so quick that he had no time to
save himself, and barely time to give
utterance to the agonizing exclama-
tions which followed upon his decla-
ration.
care you going to eat that chicken?"
she hoarsely demanded.
"Lemme up?" he screamed.
She raised his head from the dish
and jammed it on the table.
"John Joyce Brigham" she hissed
between her set teeth, ''this is day
set apart by the nation for thanksgiv-
ing and praise. / got that chicken to
celebrate this day and amt going to
have my gratitude and devotion upset
by such a runt as you are. Now, I
want to know if you are goin to eat
that chicken like Christian, or if
you are going to cut up like a ran
tankerous heathen? Answer me at
once or I'll jam your old skull into a
Jelly"
"I-I'll eat it," he moaned.
Then she let him up and he took
his plate, and one Thanksgiving meal,
at least, passed off harmoniously.-
Dan6ury Neacs.