St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-12-24

Signcrs of the Declaration of Independ-
ence, but now they did not really seem
to amount to much along with the
Signers of niagara Falls.
To tell the truth the multitude OF
signs annoyed me. 1t was because |
noticed ut last they were prohibiting
the very thing | was just wanting to
do.
| desired to roll on the grass the
sign prohibited it. longed to smoke :
Il sign prohibited it. And was Just in
the act of throwing Il stone over to
ast"niSh and pulverize such parties as
might he picnicking below, when sign
| have Just mentioned forbade that.
Even that satisfaction was denied me,
and | WAS IL friendlesS orphan.
There was no resource now but to
seek consolation from the flowing bowl.
drew my flask from my pocket. but it
was all in vain. a sign confronted me-
which said
mo drinking allowed on these prem
ises."
On that spot | might have persisted
of thirst but for the saving words of an
hOnOred maxim that fitted through my
memory AT that moment: "All signs
tail in dry times" Common law takes
precedent of the statutes: | WAS saved.
The noble red man had always been
Il darling of mine. loved to read
about him in tale and legends and ro-
nance.
| love to read about his inspired sa-
gacity, and of his love of the wild. tlee
life of mountains and forest and his
grand truthf'ulncss: his hatred of treach-
cry, and his general nobility of charac-
ter, and his stately metaphorical speech.
and his chivalric love for the duskN
and the picturesque pomp of
his dress and accOutrementS.
When found the shops at niagara
Falls full of dainty bead and
m"ccasins. and equally stun
mlng toy figures representing human
beings who carried their weapons in
holes bored in their arms and bodies
shaped like IL pie. was filled with emo
tion. ! knew now that | was going to
come face to face with the noble red
man.
\ lady clerk in the shop told me. in
deed, that all her grand array were
made by the Indians. and there were
plenty about the Falls. and that they
were friendly, and it would not be dan
Terous To speak To them.
| came upon camp of them gath
cred i'll the shade OF Il great tree. max
ing m"ccaSinS, and addressed them in
the following language of friendship:
"Nohlc Red-men, Brave Grand Sa-
chem. War Chiefs. SquaNs, and High
YOU Muck IA Mucks The pale face from
the land of the setting sun greets You
You, Beneticent Polecat. you. Deveurer
of Mountains. you. Roaring Thunder
gust-the palc-tace from beyond the
great waters grects Nou all. War and
pestilcncc have thinmed yonr ranks and
destroyed your once proud nation.
Poker and seven-up and Il vain modern
expense of soap unknown to your gln-
rions ancestors) have depleted yom
purses. Appropriating in simplicity
the property of Others has gotten Won
into trouble. disappearing the facts
of your >inlesS innocence has damaged
your reputation with the SoulleSS
uSurper. Trading with forty-rod wins
key, to enable YOU to get drunk and
your families. has PLAYED the
with the picturesque
pomp of you dress. aud here YOU are
III the broad light of the nineteenth
century. gotten up like the llgtag and
b"hiail of the purlieus of New York
For shame For shame Remember
N"u ancestors Recall their mighty
deeds Remember I'ncaS and Red
Jacket , and lIole-im-thc- and
Horace Greeley. Emulate THEN achieve
| l,iIt It,l 4 4
banner. noble Savaycs. illuStriou> cut
ter-snipc>
"D"wn wild him -
scalp the haggard -
"llang him ="
''Drown him -
1t was the quickest operation that
ever SAW. simply S;Iw Il sudden flash
in the air of clubs. hlirkbai>. fists. bead
baskets. and moccaSins Il single flash.
and they all seemed to hit me at once
and no two of them in the same place.
In the next instant the entire tlihe
WAS upon me. They tore all the clothiu"
off of me they broke all my arms and
legs; they gave me Il tlump that dent
eel the top of my head till it would hold
coffee like Il saucer: and then to crown
this dlSgracetul proceedings and add
insult to injury they threw me over the
Horseshoe Falls and got wet.
About ninety nine or il hundred feet
from the top the remains of my vest
caught on Il proicctn. rock. and was
almost drowned before could get
loose.
finally fell and brought up in a
world of foam at the foot of the Falls.
whose celled and bubblN MASSES lowered
up several inches above my head.
OF course | got into the eddy. |
sailed round it forty-four times. cliasin.
il chip and gaining on it each round
trip Il half mile reaching the same
bush on the bank forty-iour times and
just exactly missing it by IL hairs breadth
every time.
At length il man walked down and
sat close to that bush and put Il pipe in
his mouth and lii Il match and followed
me with one eye and kept he other on
the match while he sheltered it in his
hands from the wind. Presently IL puff
of wind blew it out
The next time swept around him he
said:
''Got IL match ?''
Yes in my other vest. Help me
put please"
''Not for joe"
When came around again | said .
EXCUSE the seemingly impcItincnt
of IL drowning man. but will
,ou explain this singular conduct of
yours ~
with pleasure. am the coroner.
Don't hurry on my account. | can wait
or You. | wish | had Il match"
Take my place and I'll go and get
,ou one" said.
He declined. This lack of confidence
III his part created IL coolncss between
Is. and from that time forward avoid !