, 1875-06-13
f1C3IOR.



Being and hav.ng-The ean-setsways rant
sumcler-nured.
"Bnh, SAID John Henry's hopeful to 4 small
boy vito wan. ed 10 whip him; 'you couldn't hex
= poEtage~stamp."
Custoner-'1 want = mics plump chicken,
ple.se" onopmnn-" Trusaed Customer-''Oh,
no; am gong to pay for 1t"
Fearful outrage-A young English ldy resid-
in: 10 PARIS mas 1ecoiyei over ii.tv lashes- She
w&s born WITH the1n-on her eTellds.
1.-TWO soles thst beat as one," remarked the
boy TO his mother she waz dealing vita him
for his SINS with both slippers at ouce.
A iazy fellow falling distance OF 50 feet and
esca; ing Nth Only a few scratches, b5stan5er
remarked that he wAa - too eloF to fall last
enough to hurt himself"
4 chap picked up paper Saturday and read
tho head, .'General Washington Dispatches"
sho" !" be exclaimed: Il vsnser kno" il that
c.itter ain't dead yet!
A Minnesota Sheriff carried bullet in his
head ten years, and, When they renewed it the
oiher d.y, he became foolish. They are looking
for some oas 70 shoot him sgaln.
1 loounc1ous bloc1head, after bsbbling some
time to Lord Erskinc observed he wAs afraid he
vaB obtrud;nson his I4ordship's car. "Oh, no.
At all, seld Ersklno; ~ heYe not oson iAten-
ing.
Ins1l: ns well :s injury-(Joaes has received
knockdowner from his ooliging and scieutidc
friend Brown who promised to = play light.
Broan-. AL right. old man; contact betweeu
two huch soft substances emit do Any hasal."
inaccurate cuphemsm-Why arc lodgings to
let amcst always advertised, not as '.lioosns,' y
bus as az Apartments:' "Apartments for Sill
cle gentlemen arc ali Yery well bnt surely ITO
sethes mensa" would be moro suitable to man
aud wlt9.
Proof positire--OId lady (uho sleeps badly
"Now Mary, it l should want to Light my cal.dle
are the matches there;" M.ry-::' Yes ma am,
tbere's wan" Old lady" One! why, II it
m1as.s Ere or WON'T light" May Oh,
diyll fear Of it nn'aua- s ure thried Ill"
4 lady who loved Bnlrer entered bookstore
Just rs ono Of the clerks r.5 killed largo rkt
II wish to soe What VIII He Do With 1t -"
she said. to boy behind tha counter. swell"
said the boz, If you'll step to the window,
you will probably 800 him elsng it into the bnck
lot.~
man rushed broathlessly into = lawyers Of
fee in St, Paul, and approaching the legal lu-
m,nAry. exotediv remarked, "a man has tied
hoop to my ho1se's tall Can I do anything ?"
'.Ies," replied the attorney; ''go and unite it."
That vag good advice, and didn't cost the man
but IS.
1t oac Of our schools. recently, in ansWar to
the question, whats ths d1fetenco between
ne lve?" b bright little shaver replied: Tho
difference is, that = continent il much lA1ger
than IN island, and We live on b-aad and meat
aud othor things"
4 boz who had stolen aotns apples was forgiv-
On for tha rather ingenious manner in which he
excused himself. The schoolmAster asking him
what he had to say for himself. the u1chin re-
piled 1.-The apples were Toms; don't know
hon hs got them; and now they're mine and he
don't xnow how got them
English tourAt in 1relaod--t' Tell me, nniter,
1t nhat hour does the first train leave for Clon-
mel ?" Water--'' Is it the FIRST thrain, eor? I'm
not rightly shu-e- Tho noine thrain up used 70
lx7e At ha'f past noine, bat faix it goes at tin
now, and lhese's 10 tlree thrain now at I'll 1T all
But III AZ - the barr. eo7?"
Saturday afternoon. while tho rope-Walker was
gong through his performance, boy about II
Years old turned to an acquaintance of the same
age aud remarked, Tom. don't you wish you
could do that?' Yes I do," sadly replied
Tom, but my folks make mo go to school
&nd are determined that I shAnt nsver bo no.
bodyl"