Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1875-05-13
glarshall County gspublitau
PLYMOUTH, INDIANA.
TAKING THE EDGE OFF.


street, and said he wanted a cup of coffee
and piece of bread and butter. The
waiter told him that the place sold moth
ing short of complete dinner, and the
price was fifty cents. Said the stranger:
Swell, you see amt real hungry, and
/ only want little coffee and bit of
bread"
Waiter" 1t makes no difference; we
sell whole dinner for fifty cents, and
nothing else."
Stranger" You give hull dinner for
fifty cents"
Waiter-'' Yes, a whole dinner; roast
meat, potatoes, succotash, bread, butter,
pie, pudding, coffee and tea"
.Stranger-"W Well, s'pose you give
man all he wants to eat9''
Waiter-'Oh, yes; we fill you up for
fifty cents, and give you solid, good
plain meal"
.Stranger-"W Well, I've half mind to
eat with We. The fact is the ole woman
give me half a loaf of bread and a
piece of cold corn beef for a bite, and 1
eat that up at Carpenters jes' now with
glass of beer. thought I'd like a good
cup of coffee and little bread and but
ter to kind o wash the thing down; but
We say We can't gi'me that2'
Waiter" No, sir We'll give you, as
I've said, solid, square meal for fifty
cents. You can eat as little or as much
as you please
The strangers eyes opened and looked
thoughtful for a moment, and then,
striking his fist ON the table, he ex-
claimed: 6 By gum 1 b1eeve I'll take
it. I amt right, real hungry, but bring
on your roas' beef and taters, suckithash,
tea, coffee, bread, pie and puddin
Bring 'em on By gum, I'm in for a
square meal, and my fifty cents worth"
The waiter hurried to respond, and
the way that strangers knife and fork
played between his mouth and the plates
was a caution. 1t beat half-a-dozen
pair OF castinets, and sounded more like
bone solo than anthing else we ever
heard. The waiter stood aghast, and
when he turned up with the third plate
of roast beef, the proprietor, pale as
marble from a Vermont quarry, called
him aside behind the bar.
"For heavens sake, who is that fell
low9' said he che eats vituals as fast
as threshing machine swallows straw"
The strangers plates were beginning
to show bottom again, and his eyes were
running up and down the room for the
waiter. He did not stop in his eating,
but simply turned his back and let fly
against the wall with his heels.
"Gi' mes more roastbeef and taters,"
he shouted.
The landlord raised his hands in hor-
ror.
"Great heaven, James! he'll clean us
out, said he, as the waiter sprang for
the kitchen.
CANT We got more'n wun kind of
pie Z" inquired the stranger.
"Oh, yes, said the waiter
We'll, then, bring it on, and giv's
sum O. that pud'n, too. Jemimy! # 1
was only hungry, how I'd clean We out.
Bring me two cups of coffee and CUP of
tea, too. I amt only jis beginnin' to
eat"
The landlord listened with dismay,
and, stopping the waiter, as he entered
the kitched for the fifteenth time, walked
solemnly up to the stranger, and said
"See here We amt got enough in
this house to feed You. just go on now;
will call it all square. You needn't
pay a cent for what you've had"
The stranger became indignant, and
declined, saying that his appetite was
just coming, and winding up with very
emphatic:
Hanged if will %
A bright thought struck the landlord,
as he walked off in mental agony.
fastening to the bar, he jerked open
the till, pulled out half dollar, and,
rushing up to the stranger, placed it in
his hand.
Here, here" said he, stake this and
go right up to the Holly Tree Inn, and
clean 'em out. Go ON. They'll feed
you till you bust for fifty cents"
"Well, J" said the stranger, as he grad
ually arose and stretched himself, at the
same time putting the scrip in his vest
pocket, "I don't mind eff do take it.
I amt very hungry anyhow. 1 only
wanted cup of coffee and piece of
bread and butter, when I come In, but
I'm iis as well satisfied. I guess I'll
buy the old mare some oats wait until
/ get hum to finish up" and he left
Troy Times.