Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1875-08-26
A PEDLER's WOES.


dered whether the trunk contained
tax receipts or horse liniment. The
stranger halted in front of a residence
his smile deepened and he mounted
the steps and pulled the bell.
"ls the lady at homer" he inquired
of the girl who answered the bell.
The girl thought he was the GEN.
sus taker, and seated him in the par
lor and called the lady of the house
When the lady entered, the stranger
rose. bowed and said:
Madam, | have just arrived in
this town after a tour extending
clear to Florida, and wherever ]
went L was received with glad wei.
come"
did you wish to see my husband2'
she asked as he opened the tin
trunk.
mo, madam; [ deal directly with
the lady of the house in all cases.
The ladies will appreciate the virtues
of my extermlnator and purchase a
bottle where a man will order me
off the steps without glancing at it,
"Yours-your what?" she asked
Madam" be replied, as he placed
four ounce bottle of dark colored
liquid on the palm of his left hand.
madam, l wish to call your atten-
ton to my Sunset Bsdbug Extermi-
nator. 1t has been tried al homo
and abroad, and in no case has it failed
to"
what do you mean, sir?' she de-
manded, getting red in the face.
Leave the house instantly"
Madam, | do not wish 20 infer
from NY"
81 want you to leave this houseP
she shrieked.
"Madam, allow me to explain
my"
81 wi call the police! she screamed
making for The door, and he hastily
locked his trunk and hurried out.
Going down the street about two
blocks be saw the lady of the house
at the parlor window and instead
of climbing the steps he stood unde l
the window and politely said:
"Madam, | do not wish to even
hint that any of the bedsteads in
your house were Inhabited by bed
bugs. but"
'What, what's thai?
81 said that l hadn't the remotest
idea that any of the bedsteads in your
house were infested by bedbugs,
but"
"Take yourself out of this yardl"
she shouted, snatching tidy off the
back of a chair and brandishing it at
him.
"Beg pardon, madam, but should
like to cali your"
"Get outl" she screamed; "Get out.
or | will call the gardner"
IL will get out, madam, but | Wish
you UNDERSTOOD"
"J-a-w-nl J-a-w-nl' she shouted
out of side window, but the exter-
minator agent was out of the yard
before John could get around the
house.
He seemed discouraged as he
walked down the street, but he had
travelled less than a block when he
saw stout woman sitting on the
front steps of afine residence, flaming
herself.
"Stont women are always good
natured," he sol,loquised, as he
opened the gate.
"Haven't got anything for the
grasshopper sufferersl" she called out
as he entered. There was an angelic
smile on his face as he approached
the steps, set his trunk down, and
said:
envy mission, madam is even
nobler than acting as agent for
distressed community. The grass.
hopper sufferers do not comprise q
one-handredth part of the world''
population, while my mission is tt
relieve the whole world"
81 don't want any pepper essence,
sue COuGluuGu as 10 oeni you w U"i'"h
the trunk.
"Great heavens madam, do resem
bic a peddler of cheap essences" h'
exclaimed. II am not one. | an
here to enchance the comforts of thu
night-to produce pleasant dreams
Let me call your attention TO my
Sunse. Bedbug Exterminator,
liquid warranted To-"
"Bed what 2" she screamed, ceasinG
to fan her fat checks.
"My Sunset Bedbug Exterminator
1t is to-day in use il the humble ne
gro cabins on the banks of tn
Arkansaw, as we'll as in tho roys
palace of her Majesty, @"
"You r.r-rascal you villyun" sh
wheezed; how dare you insul
mo"
mo insult, madam, it is a pur
matter Of"
"Leavel Sit o-w-tl" she screame
clutchiDg at his hair, and he had t
go out in such hurry that b
| cOuLQD lOGk MS Iuuh uutii III
reached the walk.
He travelled several blocks an
turned several corners before b
halted again, and his smile fade
away to melancholy grin. ID
saw two or three ragged children q
a gate, noticed that the house wa
old, and he braced up and entered.
II vahauts no zoap." said the WI
man of the house as she stood at Oh
door.
"Soap. madam, soap? | have \
soap | noticed that you lived in q
old house, aud as old houses al
pretty apt to be Infected"
81 WANTS no bins or needles t.
dayl" she shouted.
MADAM, | am not a pedlar
Yankee notions" be replied. 81 a.
selling a liquid, prepared only b
myself, which is warranted To-
at rhaDts M hapar OfllarsW al