The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1875-02-03
Looking for the Legislashur.
From the Detroit Free Press.


Looking for the Legislashur.
From the Detroit Free Press.
Yesterday noon a man abount six
ty-fye years of age came up stairs
into the local room Of this paper and
inquired:
els this whar the Legislashur is r
"No, SIR" replied the reporter
1.-THE Legislature is in session at
Lansing
"Way off there. ehr' continued
the man, as he sat down, laid his
cane across the table and took of
his mittens.
Eyes; trains run twice a day.
Pretty good crowd out there by this
time"
I'll don't care about the crowd, :
said the old man, IL want q lava
new law"
.'EhT p
"Yes. sir, I want a new law
snnthin' to purtect old men like me-"
whats the matter-how do you
want to be protected p
MY names Horner,' . replied the
man, as he slowly fumbled inside his
coat. "My names Horner, and I'm
an old fool What do you think I
did three months ago? Went and
married a girl sixteen years old. and
red-headed at that! Yes, went and
decided her farm, and Civ her six
hundred dollars cash, and married
her -
"And you do not live happy"
Happy! Young man let me
show you sumthin' here, look at
that p
And he unro!led a piece of brown
paper and displayed a handful of
gray hairs. some of which were
bloodstained.
Pulled right ont ofmy scalp only
three days ago! = he went on. And
see this ere leg !"
He pulled up his pants and exhib-
tied black and blue spot just above
the shin.
Struck there with flat-iron r. he
explained; meant to hit me in the
Chist and kill me to once, but l
lodged. And see here y
lie opened his coat and vest and
revealed the fact that he had no
shirt on, and consequently nothing
on which to button a collar.
Tore it off me two weeks ago -
he whispered, ''and she burned up
my other one. I've bin around this
way for fortnight, almost dy ing by
inches -
We'll, she must be regular wild
cat, said the reporter.
Young man, if war to sit here
and tell We how that woman con
ducts herself ye'd have to hold yer
hair down y exclaimed the old man,
striking his leg. mo one knows
how she's heaved fat-irons at me,
hit me with clubs, throwed water
over me in bed, pulled hair, iawed
around and brought my gray hairs
in sorrow to the grave! Why, what
do you think she called me this very
morning?"
"A cundurango, perhaps"
"Wuss'n that, boy-far, far wuss
she called me an Apollo p
Possible p
"Yes, she did! Think Of that,
will ye? think of man of my age
who has always paid his debts and
been honest, bein' set down with
pirates r
Its bad - sighed the reporter,
as long pause ensued.
'Its awful-the awfulest kind of
awful, replied EIorner. I've got
to stand it, but I want law to pro-
tect other old men. / want law
10 forbid any man over sixty from
marryin' q girl who isn't over TWEEN
ty."
That might be a wise law"
Il can't 60 to Lansin'," he went
On, ''but you kin help me. Put it in
your paper--git up an excitement
about it. VIII you do this? Look
at me, boy-look OF me all over
See bow I've suffered! See how
hot my head is -
"I'll help you all can
do! Write to himi Write to
him five times a day! I'm goin'
hum to meet her and be pounded
around and sassed and jawed, bnt If
/ know you're gettin' a law through
FL go to the grave feelin' good !"
And he put on his mittens, took
up bis cane and was gone,