Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1875-10-08
II IT MO e


His FATHERS OccUPATIoN.-Pre:im
mary to admission to the public schools of
st. Louis, answers are required to a list of
questions, some Of which are at times too
much for the intelligence of the nnfedged
citizens of the ''future great city of the
world as witness the following:
A friend of mine, Miss j., teacher of
one of the primary classes, catechised
little ragamuffin short time since with
the following result:
"What is your fathers name?"
'sDon't know
Don't know your fathers name?''
s'No.'
E'Well, what do the neighbors call him?''
''Don't call him nothin'. They don't
see him. He amt never home 'eept-
''Then,' as bright idea occurred to
her, ''what does your mother call him?"
"Why she calls him sold fool"'
at this point her researches into the
secret history of that family ceased.
On another occasion a little candidate
grappled successfully with every question
on the list until the one, "What Is your
fathers occupation?" was propounded,
when he was forced to admit that he did
not know what that word meant.
II mean what does he do?" said Miss
ooh! he builds lires' y
''Ah! he's a janitor, them"
J-,,oY ,I,,k ,>o;
ther.''
''Why, a janitor is man that builds
fires, and sweeps out, and takes care of a
building"
II guess he amt that kind, then. cos he
don't sweep none"
Doesn't he? Well, where does he built
fres?"
II don't know said the little fellow,
very emphatically, and in tone betray-
ing considerable irritation; she's dead.''
DINsER A LAYIN' ROUND LOOSE
He was lank specimen. and if his legs
could have been plated for handle the
rest of him would have made close re-
semblance to big putty knife. He shut
fled up to the counter and met the jovial
proprietor.
f'Do you keep this hotel, ginerals" he
asked.
sYey, do" was the polite reply.
"Well, you've got Il thunderin big lot of
house here haint you?'
"a tolerable AMOUNT said the propri-
etor.
''And power o. dinner layin' round
loose, Ell?
well, quite enough
'Just so, gineral, and you don't mind
givin poor devil just in from Kansas and
the grass'oppers bit. do ye? haint got
cent nor had a squar meal for TO- months.
and III swar to it On a stack of immigrant
tickets as high as your steeples."
He got a ''squar meal.''
A Third street woman went out to make
a call on a neighbor, just at dusk, the
other evening, and finding only lonesome
looking boy on the steps she asked:
ssWhere's your mother, bub?"
sob, she's gadded out somewhere
''Where7s your sister?'
s'Gone off on the excursion
i'Isn't your father at home?''
Haven't seen him for two days.
sfWell, what's become of the babyY'' |
asked the lady as she turned to go.
"The baby? Why, some boys took him
down on Lewis street to see dead cut
''And why don't you go somewhere"
asked the lady as she shut the gate.
I am going waiting now to go with my
girl down to Michigan avenue to buy
some onions and four cents wortl: OF
plums>7'
The family didn't seem to care about
callers.-,DetroH Free Press.
A German philosopher, whose confidence
in friend was grossly betrayed by the
latter's conduct in gunning away with his
wife and the contentsof flie money drawer,
was heard moralizing somewhat after the
following style:
Until the other day, Mrs. Rhode1.. Df !
Massachusetts, thought plug hats were 4
made to pick tomatoes in. The scar on
her head, inflicted by Rhodes as he calght
her at it, has opened her eyes little.
ssVelI, veil So long man lives so
nsre he finds by gracious Oud. did link !
LAT lake had by himself some sense. but
ZEN hs 20 away NIT Katterina, I tink he is
aotting better as a fool"