The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1875-01-23
ErunlPrOiIN.

The Boston Post states. as an interes-
ting fact to single gentlemen, that
there are ifty four widows Of generals,
and two hundred and seventeen of Co
lonels, on the pension rolls.
"A wicked man in Davenport, be-
ing on his deaihbeud wished to con.
suit some proper person regarding his
future state, aud hi, friends sent fire
insurance agent to lin.
An Illinois debater 'ldu 'em"
when he arose and said: eyes, gem
tlempn, Waterloo was the bgg,t kind
of a fight, hut Washington whipped 'em
like wink!"
Save your pennies if you wish to
become rich. ~ figuring chap has dis
covered that by saving five cents each
day-a mere triiie-you will have over
eight thousand dollars, counting inter.
est, in one hundred and twenty years.
what is the need Of being poor?
"A bright lad who commenced to 60
to school for the first time last Septem-
Der, is progressing wonderously with
his studies. lie can mash flies between
the covers of his books, and place car
pet tackS on the boys seats with a pro-
fclency seldom acquired in SO short
time.
A patron of a certain newspaper
once SAID to the puNli>hCr:-"Mr. pin
ter, low is it tlat you lave never called
on me for pay foryour papei?" "Oh." ."
said the man of types, eve never ask
gentleman for mcncy." "lndccd, re-
llied the patron: 'hnw do you manage
to get along when they don't pay?"
"Well," said the editor, ''after a GER
tain time we conclude that he is not a
GENT, ,man, and we ask him.. "Oh ali
YES ste. Mr.. Editor, please give
MT receipt" and hands him the am
cunt due, make my name all right on
your books"
Der oi French marquis, whom lie had
tended through v,ry dangerous i'll
ness, the doctor was thus accostrd:
''Good day to you, Dr. BuuvaIt; feel
quite in Il Tits, aud think my fever
Las lett me " Il am sure it has," re-
Piled Bouvart drily. "rhe very first
expression you used convinced ma of
it." "PIay explain yourself" " "Noth-
ing is easier. On the fist day of your
Illness, when your lite was in danger, l
was your dearest friend; as you began
to get better | was your good B3uvalt;
and now l am DR.. B0uvart; depend up.
on it, you are quite recovered"
Count Jaubert had attacked Mar
shal soult with a number of epigrams,
and the Marshal meeting him at rec"p.
tion Of tie Court of Louis Philippe,
, turned his back upon him just as the
Count was coming forward to speak to
him, and this in the presence of thirty
people. "Monsieur lie Marschal," said
JNubert, quietly, 81 have been told
that you consider me one of your enc.
mics. l see with pleasure that it is not
So. "Nhy not, SIR" said SOult.
"Because," said Jaubert, "you are not
in the hadt Of turning your back to
the enemy" The Marshal held out his
hand, and the Counts success was COM
piete.
Half century ago, when the in
come of DISSENTING preacher in Eng.
land was not very large, his salary was
often supplemented by a bountiful sup.
ply Of provisions from the well-to-au
members of his congregation. A Bap
tist minister in lIertlordshire used at
Christmas time to he positively inun-
dated with hampers filed with good
things. On one occasion on enormous
turkey was sent to him by the thoughtful
kindness OF neighboring farmer; but
as the ministers family had aleady
provided for the Christmas dinner, the
bird was sent into the market and sold
A passer.by, seeing this fine specimen
OF puuItry, said, "W hat a splendid tur-
Key Just the thing for the parson',
Christmas dinIcr!" And to the "par
son" it was sent. The prudent wife sen
it a second time to the market and sol,
it again for handsome sum. AnOthe
friend, similarly struck with the magui
tcent proportions of the turkey, pur
chased it and also sent it to the "par.
son" Not wishing to fly in the face o
Providence, the good man said at last
"lt is very clear that he Lurd mean
us to have this turkey;" and With tn,
entire APPRECIATION Of the family, j
formed pant Of the Christmas dinner.
john Robinson made New Year
calls. lie called oI. saloon Keeper, h
called fer liquor, called the liquor GOO :
aud drank enough to trip hiu up. Tnei
he called for r0llce, aud when the po