The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-02-13
ITEMs-LOCAL AND OTHERWISE.

letter was received at the Stanford post-of.
fec, few days ago, addressed as follows;
This letter send
To Ed. Iloyt, my friend,
In care of his brother John.
He Is working still
In the Wooden Mill,
In the town of Stanford Conn,
A Vermont schoolmastcr says he never felt
unequal to any demand in the line of his pro-
fesson, excepting on one occasion, when
farmer brought his bouncing fifteen year-old
daughter to the school, and, walking up to the
masters desk, said That's my youngest gal,
and if ever you catch her slidin' down hill with
the boys, just want you to trouncc her.
Slick Tuesday.
The new asylum building will be heated by a
high pressure steam apparatus.
The old soldiers and light infantry will waltz
with each other in La Sale ere long.
DR.. Morris d. Smith is at work for the Kansas
grasshopper sufferers. He shipped a bottle Of
vaccine matter to the needy on Monday. Jock
ey's heart always did burn with JOY to relieve the
destitute. He would have sent loaf of bread
with the contribution only thai Injuries are not
solicited.
Harry Gray is practicing for the next peace
Jubilee at the Clifton. The other day he was so
busy rehearsing as to let dog carry off an OK
tail which was to have made soup; and the way
Smithy exhorted him brought tears to The eyes
Of two chamber maids who heard it.
A young married man purchased large chro-
mo arranged for family record on Saturday.
We suppose he intended to make it useful as
well as ornamental. Pee Wee please copy
Coal Piles has recently been attacked with con.
sumption.
Enterprisng young men declare that they will
never say die long rs they can see par.o' dice
within their reach.
The variety entertainment at Plymouth Church
on Sunday afternoon although SHINY attended
was very mirth- provoking.
The friends Of candidates have already be
gun TO urge them to come out for office at the
spring election How very Thoughtful friends >
are.
jim Cross wants hotel clerk who parts hi.
hair in the middle. HIS duties will be to simply
tear of page from the calendar once a month.
Salary no object, either small or enormous tC
suit the applicant
1t was amusing 10 notice with what alacrit,
the prudent East Ottawa housewives yank every
last rag from their clothes lines when sew
conner locates in their neiShborhood.
The pupils of the second ward school ar
studying physiology. They haven't as yet clos
cted their skeleton, but keep II in their Dime
baskets. Chickens beware.
4 Knight OF the day book and ledger, shippc
his sporting purp after he had demoralizcd
photograph album and piano spread.
A lady correspondent reveals the fact that tn
popular way of imbibing mineral water for Ia
past month has been, hot and through n straw.
Sam SAYS he can't Jesse which is switch.
'Jawge Washington doesn't like to he joke
about seven-up. Perhaps that's cas,jSoe, how i
is himself.
Evan Lewis remarked on Tuesday that larg,
bodies move slow"
Our worthy friend Of the Peru HeTdH mus
have undergone terrible amount OF button -hol
ing during the session Of the board Of s9peryi
sors for surely no newly married man woul,
have left home with pins substituted for shir
buttons.
Coffee 4 is home again. suffCscd with Ia
maiden blush of youth he is as beautiful as ever
During his sojourn we are informed that he en-
tered quite extensively into the live stock trade
The Odd Fellows, and even ladies OF Utica vii
celebrate wash's birthday by tripping the p" lish
fantastic We shall endesyOr TO be present an'
;olr In tLc vanity Of worldly things"
The appeIIation OF donkey" or a. skunk az
piled to lady pupils in the 5,h ward, while In
sobriqaes Of 81 she devil" CT liars" politely
xhlsperei 70 high school stnients, demonstrate