Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1875-07-01
HEARING HIM "E1ocurE.'
A "uoak' BY Artemus Ward.

a "uoak' BY Artemus Ward.
The 'Fat Contributor" in some re-
collections of Artemus Ward, tells the
following story:
In the spring of 1859 l accepted a
profered editorial position on the Cleve
land National Democrat, and renewed
my acquaintance with Artemus. On
the first evening of my arrival he vol
unteered to show me around-a very
desirable achievement, as l was to FIJI
the position of city editor. He ''show-
ed me around" so successfully that
about two o'clock in the morning | be-
gan to feel almost as much at home in
Cleveland. as if I had lived there all
my days, to say nothing of my night
Artemus invited me to share his bed
with him for the remainder of the night,
and accepted.
Adjoining his room lodged young
professor Of elocution, who was ems
deavoring to establish school in
Cleveland. He was just starting ont
in business. and was naturally anxious
to propitiate the press. 'ELet us get the
professor mp, said Artemus, "and have
him crate for u.s.
l remons tated with him, reminded
him of the lateness of the hour, that l
was not acquainted with the professor
and all that hut to no purpose.
"ITe is a public man." said Ward
and public men are glad to meet rep
resentatives of the press, as restaurants
are supposed to get up warm meals at
all hours"
He gave laundering rap on the
door. as he shouted "Professor-r.r!
"Who's there What do you want 2
cried muffied voice, evidently beneath
the bed clothes, for it was bitter cold
night in February.
ut is I: Brown of the Plain Dealer,
said Artemus, and, nudging me gently
in the ribs, he whispered, "Thatll fetch
him. The power of the press is irwin
chile. 1t is the Archimedian lever
which,
His remarks were interrupted by the
opening of the door, and could just
discover the dim outline of shirted
form shivering in the doorway. "Ex
cuse me for disturbing you, Professor,
said Artemus in his blandest manner
but am anxious to introduce you te
my friend here, the new local of the
Democrat. He has heard much of you
and declares positively he can't 60 te
bed until he hears you elocute."
Hears me what" asked the Pro
fessor between his chattering teeth.
clears you OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
understand Specimen of your elocu
ton
In vain did the Professor plead the
lateness of the hour, and his fire ha6
gone out. Artemus would accept nc
Q cuse.
Permit me at least" urged the
Professor, "to pnt on some clothes ane
light the gas"
mot at all necessary. Eloquence
ny dear boy, is not dependent on gas
Here STRENGTHENING up chair he hat
just tumbled over), get right upon thi'
chair and give us "The boy stood OF
the burning deck adding in sid'
whisper in my ear, ''the burning decl
will warm him up" Gently, yet firmly
did Artemus boost the reluctant Pro-
fessor upon the chair, protesting tina
no apologies were necessary for hi
appearance ana assuring him tina
aclothes didn't make the man, although
the shivering disciple of Demosthene'
and Cicero probably thought tina
clothes would make a, man more com
Portable on such night as that
He gave US "Casabianca," with ;
god many quavers of the voice, a
she stood quaking in single short
white garment, and then followed
e'On Linden when the sun was low,
Sword of Bunker HILL etc, SD,
: particular request of friend" as Arte
mus Ward said, although l was too
nearly suffocated with suppressed laugh
To- to make event last dying re
quest had it been necessary. 1t wa
too ludicrous to depict-the Professor
an indistinct white object standing OF
the chair; "elocuting,' as Ward had it
and we sitting OH the door holdin!
ourselves while A. w. would family
whisper between his pangs of mirth
"Jus: hear him"
II wasn't in Ware heart to have BIZ
fun at the expense Of another withou
recompense SO next day remember
ed, he published lengthy and entirel,
serious account of our visit to the
professors room, spoke of his wonder
full powers as an elocutionist, and ex
pressed the satisfaction and deligh
with which we listened to his aunequ
allied Rotations"
The professor was overjoyed, and
probably is gnorant to this day thai