The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1875-05-25
MIR. COFFIN's SPELLING MATCH
The Old Lady Puts Him Down
with One of Her Spelis--Stri-
king Effects.
From the Detroit Free Press.I

From the Detroit Free Press.l
The other evening: old Mr.. and Mrs
CofIin, who live on Brush street, sat in
their cosy back parlor, lie reading the
paper and she knitting, and the family
cat stretched out under the stove, and
sighed and felt sorry for cats not so
-well-fxed. 1t wasea happy conteatea
household, and there was love in his
heart as Mr. Coffin put down bis news
paper and remarked:
Il see that the whole country is he
coming excited about spelling schools" F"
"Weil, it's good to know how to
SPELL" replied the wife. 81 didn't have
the chance some girls had, but l pride
myself that 1 can spell almost any word
that comes along"
"rll see about that" be laughed ;
"come, now, spell buggy"
.'Humph! that's nothing-b-u.g-g-y,
buggy" she replied.
"Missed the first time-ha! ha!" he
roared, slapping his leg,
s.Not much-that was right"
cit was, eh2 Well, I'd like to see
anybody get two gs in buegy,I would"
"But it is spelled with two g's, and
any school-boy will tell you so,'' she
persisted
"Well, I know a durn sight hett Ell
than that" he exclaimed, striking the
table with his fist,
81 don't care what you know" she
squealed 81 know that there are two
g's in buggy
do you mean to tell me that I've
forgotten how to spell p he asked.
at looks that way"
'.It does, chi Well, I want you and
all your relations to understand that
know more about spelling than the
whole capoodle Of you strung on g
wirer'
"And want you to understand, Jo-
nathan Coffin, that you are an ignorant
old blockhead, when you don't put two
g's in the word buggy-yes, you aren
"Don't talk that way to met be
warned.
"And don't shake your fist at met
she replied.
"Who's a-shaking his fist?'
sYou werep'
"That's lie-an Internal lie"
"Don't call me liar, you old bazaar
I've put up with your meanness for forty
years past, but don't call me liar, and
don't Inv, a hand IN M ~
"Do you want divorce" he shouted
springing up; "you can go now, thi:
minute"
: sDon't spit in my face--don't you
hdare do it or I'll make dead man ot
you" she warned.
81 haven't spit in your freckled ole
visage yet, but l may if you provoke
me furtherw
"Who's got freckled face, you ole
turkey y-buzzard 7"
That was little too much. III,
made motion as if he would strike
and she seized him by the neck tie
Then he reached out and grabbed he
right ear and tried to lift her off he
feet, but she twisted up on the neck til
until his tongue ran out.
"Let go of me, you old fiend" sh,
screamed.
"Get down on yer knees and beg m,
pardon, you old wild cat!' he replied
They surged and swayed and strug
gled, and the peaceful cat was strucl
by the overturning table and had he
back broken, while the clock fell down
and the pictures danced around. Th
woman finally shut her husbands sup
ply of air off and Topped him, ana a
she bumped his head up and down Oh
the floor and scattered his gray hair
lshe shouted:
You want to get up another spellin
school with me, don't you p
He was seen limping around the var
Yesterday, stocking pinned aroun
his throat, and she had court plaster o
her nose, and one finger tied up, H
wore the look Of martyr, while sh
had the hearing of victor, and fror
this time ont "buggy" will be spelle
with two g's in that house.