Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1875-03-26
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

II NOOSE l..
A FoPPIsH fellow advised friend not
to marry poor girl, as he would find
matrimony with poverty "up-hill work"
Good" said his friend; al would rather
go uphill than down-hill any time"
WHEN foreigner finds that plague is
a word of one syllable, and ague, part
of the plague, is word of two, he wish
es that the plague might take one-half OF
the English language and the ague the
other.
THE German Empire has twenty med
ical faculties. The University at Wuerz-
burg is the most famous and has 500
medical students; that of Rostock is the
least important, with thirty-eight stu
dents.
THE casting in bronze of the fine work
of art for the Macmillan memorial, to
commemorate the late unfortunate EN-
peror of Mexico, has Just been success
fully effected at the imperial foundry at
Vienna.
A sIxPoUND tin of beef, which had
been prepared in 1856 for the British
soldiers in the Crimea, was opened some
days since and its contents were as fresh
and sound as on the day it was preserved,
now nineteen years ago.
Gov. GARLAND, of Arkansas, has issued
proclamation revoking the proclama-
tion heretofore issued offering a reward
of 81 900 for the arrest of V. V. Smith
and $500 for the capture of Ed. Wheeler,
Smiths Secretary of State.
"THEN you won't lend me that dime
novel, eh?" inquired one boy of another
in the Postoffice, the other day. mo,
won't" "All right, then; next time
our chimney burns out you shan't come
into the yard and whoop and holler"
A BOARD OF TRADE man of Chicago re-
Gently married, snubbed his relations
and friends, and invited to the wedding
all the leading jewellers of the city. All
but two came, and half of them brought
presents. If the bride noticeably gilt
ters with diamonds, she can be iden-
titled.
A FARMER, having buried his wife,
waited upon the grave-digger who had
performed the necessary duties to pay
him his fees. Being of a niggardly dis
position, he endeavored to get the knight
of the spade to abate his charges. The
patience of the latter becoming exhaust
ed. he grasped his shovel impulsively,
and, with an angry look, exclaimed (;
"Doon WI another shillin' or-up she
comesp The threat had the desired
effect.
A sCHooL-TEACHER in Umatilla County,
Cal, had pretty girl of sixteen as a
pupil She entangled his heart, and then
cruelty Tilted him. Thereupon he sought
revenge. Catching her in a slight in
fraction of the rules he swung his
branch aloft and commanded her TO
stand up and be whipped. She ran out
of the door and like a deer across the
| field toward home but her 1eetness was
of short duration, aud the angry school
masters hand soon grasped her arm. Her
courage had gone with her wind, and she
offered then and there to kiss and make
up if he wouldn't whip her. He declined
to compromise, led her back to the
school-house and flogged her until blood
came through the back of her dress. Her
hour of exultation came when she saw
him fined $50 for assault.
TRE other evening kind-looking old
man was escorted to room On the third
door of hotel to pass the night, and il
wasn't five minutes before the bell indi
Gated that he wanted to see waiter. A
colored boy ran up, stuck his head into
the room and asked what was wanted
The old man said he didn't want any
thing, but the waiter was hardly dowr
stairs before the bell rang again. "Dic
you want sufiin?" he inquired, as he
reached the room again. Nothing" re
piled the old man, as he opened the door
In about two minutes his bell rang again
and this time the waiter exclaimed;
you don't want muffin what ar ye pullin
de bell fur9" 81 want to oblige thu
waiter" replied the old man. "De ewaitah
Oblige de waitahl" "Yes, it says here
Please ring the bell for the waiter, ant
If he wants II rung I'm willing to oblig
him, though Pm tired and sleepy AM
sha'n't pull it more'n four times more ur
less know that some OF his family ar
sick !'-petr0H Free Press,