davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

THERE is no risk in buying Mason &
Hamlin Cabinet Organ. These instru-
ments are known to be the best of their
class in the world But if the opinion of
a dealer be asked he win frequently rec
ommend some other, for the simple . rea-
son that he can get larger commissions
for selling inferior instruments.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

~ 49, :. fsFffS s9TM Kff sstsk&e ID 80
NIL DEsPERANDUN.-A real. hsdHhy
man or woman IS a rarity; and what
wonder. when I'VE roaliKe that it Is the
custom to overload the stomach, and
then produce chronic disease by the use
Of spirituous liquors, "Tonics, ma Appe,
Tiers" y" Restoranves," etc. Having first
produced disease by indiscretion, the
victim wonders why nothing does him
good" just SO; and the reason is that
they all, or nearly all, find a basis in al
cohol--or POISON. To all thus discour-
aged we can conscientiously say, make
one more trial" Discard spirituous medi-
cines, and give nature a chance, aiding
her in her struggle by using one of her
own pure and unadulterated herb RENE
dies in the shape of VINEGAR BITTERs.
The discoverer, DIR. j. WALKER, of Cali.
fornia, is no pretender, but an honorable
practicing physician, and his discovery is
the result of years of labor and study.
The wonderful cures effected by them of
Dyspepsia, Fevcrs, Rheumatism and
many other terrible diseases are almost
incredible FAt 20 !,
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

However bad man may be there is
yet some good in him, {, 1t may be hidden
in filth and rubbish but it is there, and
there comes time when 1t is brought to
light, when the mire and the clay fall
from II, and 1t acquires new luster from
its surroundings * man may neglect
his business, his family and his friends,
but he is always attentive TO a cold-sore
on his ip.-Erchange. raFs
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

our ADVICE 20 all who Pre IN any way troubled
other forms III humur, IL 60 use DR.. b. a. Weaycrs
tustlyGeebrated and nefer'fang remedies for these
conplaints We have no doubt tiat at least hall the
chronic com plants In existence have their origin IN
some form ~ hurn0r, which only needs 70 be era
grave We are glad that Or. Weaver has turned his
Alteration this OF disease which have been 20
long neglected and which have so rapidly increased In
almost an parts the World. The thousands who have
areafy been cured but many living certificates
aupen ne n sue ng huma ny and attesng the worth
81 d truly valuable discovery DIR. Viewers Syrup
and Ierate for sale by All Uru gI<1Bts4 Esa ~
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

A CURE FOR AsTHMa-I see that some one,
in your valuable paper, asks for cure for
asthma l have been afflicted with that
dreadful disease for forty-four years, and
never found any relief until last summer. In
looking over the Journal aud Messenger, one
OF your city papers, saw notice OF I'D.
Langells' Asthma Cure. One trial package
free sen. and received by retarn mail, and
Ii gave me relief in five minutes. My ease
was one of the very worst. Do not fail to send
for il. God bless ID. Langelis for his remedy
His address is: ID. Langeils, Apple Creek,
Wayne County, Ohio" A SUBSCRIBER.
RISING SIJS, Ind. SO fs&
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

I'm answer to the, absurd rumorl that
she had separated from her husband,
Mime. Catacazy writes from Paris "Not
only am i not separated from my hus-
band, but never did more love, esteem
and admire him than do now, and never
have we been happier than we are since
our departure from America"
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

1T must be great comfort to Gen.
Meyer, head of the Signal Service, TO oe-
cupy the position he does. Being sold
Probabilities, he knows just what kind
of weather to expect when going home
rather late. after little fun with the
boys.-!St. Louis Repl5licd7a. rr ~
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

tween the drills, Nhjeh will prevent the
entity eva66 lion 81 the moisture from
the Soil il tn dry hot ATTITUDES before
inc grain natures gFN ~ ez..
Of c0ursSafhere areAmaay farms and
some sections of considerable extent
where underdrainage has been provided
for by nature to Q marked degree. The
owners of such lands have marked adj
vantage of which they should make full
use.--Weaern RuyId(. t..s
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

The telegraph between Foo-cbow and
Annoy, in China, has been destroyed by
the fanatics in that rat eating Empire.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

The best Elastic Truss, warranted the best,
Is Pomeroy's, IA Broadway, Ny. Getit.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

ELECTRICITY rs LIFE.-An nervous disor
ders, chronic diseases OF the chest, head, liver
stomach, kidneys and blood, aches and pains
nervous and general debility, etc, quickly
cured after drugs fail bv wearing Volta's Elec
tro Belts and Bands. Valuable book free, b,
Volta Belt Co, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

BURNETr's CocoAINE Is the best and cheap
est hair dressing IN the world. enu9g fe
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

PILLs whichcontain ntimony, quinine and
ealomel should be avoided, as severe, gripping
pains would be their only result. The safest
surest and best pills are Persons Pargatipe Oh
Anti. BliolsTi2s. ..H, .1e a.g
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

MORE than tfty years have elapsed since
Joltnson's .inodyne LtRimeFat was first invent
ed, during which time hundreds Of thousands
have been benefited by its use. Probably no
article ever became SO universally popular
with all classes as JohnsonIs .araodyne Ltai.
yylsHf, g r ssg-=.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

ALL hotels and pickle houses use Prussing' s
White Wine Vinegar. Ask your grocers for it
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

CmcAeo papers are full Of wonderful cures
performed by using Glen Flora Minera
Water. Address T. III. Parks, Waukegan, III
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

The NoRTHwEsTERS HORSE NAIL COZ
g Finishedn Nail Is the best In the world. 4
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08
pimpIes, EruptIons, Rough skin.

The system being put underthe Influence
of DIR, Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery Tor
a few weeks, the skin becomes smooth,
clear, soft and velyety, and, being Illuminated
with the glow of perfect health from within,
true beauty stands forth I'm all its glory The
effects OF all medicines which operate upon
the system through the medium Of the blood
are NECESSARILY somewhat slow, no matter
how good the remedy employed. While one
10 three bottles clear the skin OF pimpies,
blotches, eruptions, yellow spots, comedones,
or grubs," dozen may possibly be required
ten with scrofuIous or vhulcnt blood peisoEs
The cure OF all these diseases, however, from
the common pimpe tothc7worst scrofula, y,
with the use Of this most potent agent, only
a matter OF time. Sold cby, dealers In niedi-
cines.
COVERED WITH ERUPTIoss- ~CREp.-
CLAyERAcK, Columbia Co., n. Y.
DIR r. v. PIERCE, Buffalo, Ny: -.g
+ Dsar SIR am sixty years Of age, and have
been afflicted with Salt Rheuin in the worst
form for a great many years until, accidental.
ly I saw one of your books which desctibed
nv case exactly bought your Golden Med
ical Discovery and took two bottles ana
half and was entirely cured. From my Shout
ders 10 my hands was entirely covered win
eruptiens. also on face and body, was Ike,
wise afflicted with Rheumatisn13 so tnat !
walked with great difficulty andt that y 81
tirely cured. May God spare you long hie
~ remain blessing 70 mankind. With un-
told gratitude, Mns. A. w. ,WIILIAss.g
ARE You AWARE THAT Tue PRoMeslToHIEs
or CoSsunPTIos are Coughs, Colds, Bron-
thitis, Pains in the Side and Chest, Difncpitles
Of Breathing, stc.g sHHyon psfnnt lnese
svrnutoIng 10 run on tubercles will be the re-
suit. and end in Consumption. Nov, you
want to cure these diseases, use Aliens Lung
Baisam without delay gB9GEsS
7 For sale BY all Medicine Dealers.
Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-08

tNHEN WRITING nc ADVERTISERS,
w please asy you saw the ADVERTISE
ment I'm this paper.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
How She Cured His Jealousy.

The Sacramento (Cal.) Bee tells a
story which may be serviceable in teach
ing an excellent plan for the curing of
attacks of the green-eyed monster, as
follows: There is man in Sacramento
who is SO affectionately fond of his wife
that he is jealous if man looks within
forty-fve feet of the direction in which
she may happen to be. The other day
gentleman spoke to her, and he threat
ened suicide. His wife was dispatched
for a bottle of poison, consisting of a
little water colored with licorice, and la
beled with glaring poison label out
side. When he threatened to take some
of it, and actually poured it into wine
glass, she screamed for help, and ran
out of the room into another room.
where she could watch him through the
keyhole, and saw him coolly open the
window and throw it out. She then
rushed back, apparently frantic with
grief, and implored him not to do the
rash deed. He merely pointed to the
glass, and, lying down on the floor, be-
gan to kick out his legs like jumping
jack. She told him she was determined
to share his fate, and swallowed the rest
OF the licorice water, whereupon he be-
came frightened, called the neighbors,
confessed he only played off, and said if
she only survived he would never
trouble her again. Then she explained
the ruse, and he was so mortified he
tried to buy up the silence of the neigh
bors, but the story was too good to keep.
He is now thoroughly cured.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
The Massachusetts SchOOlmarm,

A writer in the Providence journal
says If there is any one thing which can
add to the zest of Silver Spring dinner
over and above what Mayfeld provides,
it Is the pleasure of sitting opposite to a
Massachusetts schoolmarm. She is not
" hefty " physically, but her eye is clear
and bright. You know at once that she
is sensible girl, for her dress is plain
to be exact about it, little prim she
has made up her mind to have good
time, and, once for all, to fall in with the
odd ways of the Rhode Islanders, and at
any rate to be interested in and to en-
Joy, if possible, a shore dinner. She
starts out with excellent intentions and
with. many good qualifications. She
certainly likes the novelty of the affair
she is hungry, and if there are not too
many Massachusetts, folks about, not
fastidious. But after all she is in O di-
lemma. Like shrewd girl, rs she is,
she furtively glances at the nearest gen
uine Rhode Islanders she sees at the
table. She thinks she has got the hang
OF it. We, the Rhode Islander, give her
an assuring glance, and manipulate a
dozen CLAIMS or so, that she may compre-
hend the necessities of the case. Then
she "pitches in." She takes out few
clans, ranges them around the edge of
her plate, talks little, looks up to the
Rhode Islander, as we would say, "that' s
the ticket" and when her clans are
stone cold she minces them up with her
knife and fork and swallows them. How
has the Rhode Islander labored with that
maiden. With what pantominic art and
assiduity has he pointed to the boiling
melted butter; almost choked himself
by the rapidity with which he has eaten
his CLANS, and all to no avail. The envi-
Gus table stood between them, and fifty
ears We're within whisper reach. To
think that some Massachusetts, fellow
was to pay seventy-five cents for that
girls dinner, and she losing all the cream
of it, though sooth to say not her tenn
per, which would have been excusable
enough, when the Rhode Islander, only
by changing places with the up-country
chap, might have bestowed much needed
and useful information, and enjoyed his
own dinner quite as well.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
A Spunky Sister.

The Boston Globe says One of the
liveliest exemplifcations of that veritable
old proverb, "when woman will, she
will, and when she won't, she WON'T" is
now furnished for the edifcation of the
people of Mount Pleasant. A middle
aged lady, by common consent accorded
the possession of agood share of temper,
had for years dwelt in tolerable quiet
with her brother, man of twenty-eigh
years. For her brother she ever mani
tested Il ssterly affection, cautioning
him constantly against the wiles of
womankind. But short time ago her
sweet dream of peace was rudely broken.
The terrible tidings came that her
brother had married the daughter of the
landlord; and straightway, after giving
her brother lecture on the baseness of
his conduct in deserting her, she an
nounced her intention of not paying any
rent, since her brother ought to "stand"
her expenses, and should do so whether
he wanted to or not. This decision,
which was very strictly adhered to,
naturally caused q great deal of trouble
to the landlord. After trying for three
months, he was obliged to take legal
means to eject her, and proceeded to
place her, bag and baggage, on the side
walk. But the irate lady was not so
easily disposed of. She made her
preparations to stay on the sidewalk till
winter, if she couldn't get back to the
room. Her story was told to crowd of
gazing bystanders, and her presence on
the sidewalk became almost uncomfortable
to the neighborhood. Some of the peo-
pie in the vicinity offered her lodgings.
She not only refused this, but would not
take any food, remaining in her glory
on the street all night. Her self-im-
posed fast was kept up, together with a
recital of her story during the morning,
and after dinner time, which she re-
fused to notice in the customary way,
she was arrested on a warrant for OBJ
the sidewalk. The lady made
no objection to going with the officer to
the station, but reiterated with the
greatest emphasis her determination not
to eat and not to go anywhere voluntarily
except to the room from which she had
been elected. The courteous captain at
Mount Pleasant station very politely
furnished his lodger with nice supper.
She refused to eat, and persevered in
her determination to fast. AS the
brother, of course, cannot undo the past
which has resulted entirely from the
folly of the woman herself-the conclu-
sion of this episode of "woman's
wrongs" will be interesting.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
A Lesson for Both.

A Melbourne widower with something
of family and a goodly bank account
advertised for a wife over a fictitious
signature. Several answers were re-
ceived, among which was one that par
ticularly pleased him. The chirography
was delicate and graceful, the language
chaste, and the signature, like his own
fictitious. After a brief and mutually
agreeable correspondence, time and
place were agreed upon for meeting. At
the appointed hour the gentleman was
waiting in private parlor at certain
fashionable hotel, and shortly afterward
a lady entered, thickly yelled. She came
in trembling, and did not venture to
look up until the voice of the gentleman,
in respectful greeting, fell upon the ear,
at which she started convulsively, raised
her eyes to the face of her swain, and
then uttered suppressed cry-a cry the
tone of which struck upon the gentle
mans ear with sound not unfamiliar.
He lifted the veil and looked upon the
scared face of his own daughter, whom
he had Supposed industriously pursuing
her studies at school in town some
distance westward from Melbourne.
The young lady has since been installed
as housekeeper in the paternal mansion,
and her papa is not likely to advertise
for wife again until this daughter is
married
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
Detroit Free Press Currency.

Wherever three or four thieves are
banded together there may you find o
"rifle" team.
Only one more month in which to
hang over the gate and tell the story of
their sad but lasting love.
Thus far and no father"-as the
child in the founding hospital remarked
when he was five years old.
If the Cuban war lasts ten or fifteen
years longer people will begin to imagine
that there's really some sort of trouble
there.
A Wisconsin woman envies Queen
Victoria's position solely because she
could have as many as three new cali co
dresses per week if she was a queen.
The editor of the Providence Press
wears kid plaster on his bald head,
and the flies have " Resolved, that some
folks are born mean and can't help it. /"
Years and years after the Erie canal
has been filed mp and planted to corn
some contractor will present fraudu-
lent claim-probably for furnishing the
tassels to the corn.
Vermont is Dragging of snow foot
deep in some of the mountains, but such
talk should be stopped. it discourages
paper collar makers and doesn't do the
world at large any good.
New York is shocked at the idea of
sixteen persons living, eating and Sleep
ing in room 12x14. We should think
that some of the unfortunates would go
and buy brown stone mansion.
Mexico has q law which won't permit
a man with wooden leg to marry unless
he informs the girl of the fact. And the
girl always responds: "You are just as
dear to me as if you had fifteen wooden
1aoc -
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
His Deaf Acquaintance,

We were coming down White street
this morning, when we overlook an old
gentleman in a cart. The vehicle was
springless, and as it jolted over the
stones every revolution of the wheel was
hail storm.
We nodded t, him, and he nodded
back.
ga nice day." we suggested, in a
raised voice.
"Hey 2" he screamed.
ga nice day." we roared.
go, yes," he shouted. GA good corn
day. How's business-pretty good2"
Very good" we answered.
"very good" we yelled.
"Glad to hear" he said, and then re
lapsed into silence, and we hurried on,
as people were showing altogether too
much interest in our efforts to be heard.
" What do you think of that feller
over in England who walks on the
water 2" he suddenly exploded.
We had to fall back with the pace of
the cart.
He's wonderful chap" we said, in
hopes that would satisfy him.
"Hey2"
"He's wonderful chap" we yelled.
$50 he is. How do you s'pose he
does it ?"
"He wears rubber clothes and a
hatchet," we suggested, at the top of
our voice.
What kind of clothes 2'
People were raising their windows
now, and we were beginning to feel
desperate.
Rubber" we roared.
80, rubber, eh? and that keeps him
up, eh2"
eyes"
"Hey 2"
eyes, we shrieked.
eyes, yes Yes what"
You asked us if it was rubber that
kept him up, and we said yes," we ex-
claimed, in key of voice that brought
the merchants and their customers out
on the walk, in spite of the rattle of the
cart.
What's that? I didn't quite make
out" he shouted.
Then we went out on the roadway and
took the horse by the head and brought
the whole establishment to standstill,
and then we explained just what we had
said.
"Ah, L see, it's wonderful thing"
he said, and then added: eft must have
been the cart going over the stuns which
kept me from a hearin' of you; but 1
was afraid at first that you were sick and
couldn't speak up"
We are not of particular demonstra-
tive turn, but when we again notice an
in a springless cart on a
pavement we shall step down the first
cellar way and take position back of
barrel until he is out of sight. t.-Dan-
bury NeaOs.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
Didn't Want to Leave.

There is story told of young lady
coming to New York on one of the Eng
lish steamers not long ago. She had
been educated in Europe, and was re-
turning to her relatives and friends after
an absence of six years. The voyage was
remarkably pleasant. Pleasant weather.
smooth sea, thoughtful friends and
gallant gentlemen all combined to i'm
press most strongly upon the young lady
the pleasures and epjoyments of trip
across the Atlantic in midsummeraboard
paragon steamer. When the steamer
was coming up to her dock at New York
the fair maiden was observed standing
on deck crying bitterly. And she told
them frankly that she cried because the
voyage was over because she was home;
because she had to leave the ship, and
she didn't want to Such a girl ought
to marry sailor.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
The Prince of Peddlers,

The following is literal repetition of
the address of man who is selling some
cough mixture up in the Eleventh ward !:
"Good morning, madam. Excuse me,
but must show you something that you
would not miss for good deal! It's ir
that box Showing a small tin box). In
that box, madam, is life and health! 1t is
simple but potent; cures colds, cures
everything You're a female woman,
madam, and female women have sick
ness. Know all about it. Been married
twice myself Never sick? That's it !!
That's just it You don't want to be
sick! This compound will prevent it.
LII that box is wigor! Can't afford to
to buy such things? That's it That's
the story everywhere Now look at
me. I'm worth $1,000 to day! But
I've got $15, 900 worth of this stuff on
my hands, and can't trust agents. All
thieves. Sez / to ma, sez l, I'll Just
put it on the market myself, will. An
I'm doing it Some folks can't buy such
things. Some can. Some can save !;
some can't. Costs me $40 week to live I;
can't help it. Rented big house for
$50 month near here, but my wife
wouldn't come, because she's got all her
teeth out and the new ones not in yet
She's in Peori, Ill. She's coming on,
though. And, as L just remarked,
madam, you're a female woman, and
female women has sicknesses. You
must have this medicine! It's good for
colds There's wigor in it Don't want
itl Strange It's life; it's health All,
we'll I'll call again. Good morning."
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
Not So Bad.

While there are good many people
out of work it would seem that in New
York State, at least, those who are en-
ployed are able to lay by money. The
statement of the New York savings banks
shows not only that these institutions
are in a sound condition, holding twenty
millions more assets than they owe, but
what is of equal Importance, the gain in
deposits in the six months since January
l was over twelve millions of dollars and
the increase in the number of depositors
thirty-six thousand. This last feature is
especially gratifying, for it proves that
the DEPOSITS are in the main by people in
moderate circumstances, and are really
savings. The increase in deposits for
the six months is the largest since 1872.
1t is an excellent and encouraging show
ing.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
For His Mother.

A lady residing in Lansingburg, hail
ed passing car, with her little son, the
other morning, to see him safely on the
horse car for a trip to Troy. He stepped
ON board, and scrambled for the front
OF the car. AS he was going, his moth
er said: "Why, aren't you going to kiss
your mother before you go?"
The little fellow was so delighted with
the prospect of ride, and in such a
hurry, that he hastily rejoined, looking
back excitedly "Mr. Conductor, won't
you kiss mother for me-" And of
course the assengers couldn't keep from
smiling.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-09-16
A WelI-Deseryed Correction.

Justice Shallow" Mary Hopkins, l
distinctly saw that youthful rutfian you
are nursing look at my cherry trees
this morning. warn you that should
ever catch him picking one cherry L
will give him three months hard labor
and four years in reformatory !" Rev.
Samuel Maudlin-" And we will fog
him three times during that period, for
/ take thought for his soul |" M. H.
"Thank you very much for yer kind
ness, gentlemen leastways, L should
say your worships; L really beg pardon
i made mistake when ] called you
gentlemen l"-Ftr,, 49,