Union and American. [volume] (Greeneville, Tenn.) 1875-1877, 1875-12-09
GLEANINGS.

PRoBABLY one of the most trying
times in mans life is when he in
troduces his second wife, seventeen
years old, to his daughter past
twenty.
THERE is a man III Buena Vista,
Alabama, who has eleven daugh-
ters at home. 1t takes one hun
dred and ninety yards Of calico to
go round.
"Isx'T your husband a little
bald?" asked one lady of another,
in a store, yesterday. "There isn't
bald hair in his head" was tue
hasty reply of the wife.
FIVE Minnesota lawyers recently
succeeded, after fortnight's foren-
sic combat, conduvtel with all the
desperation OF beasts at Ephesas,
In gaining verdict of seventy five
cents for the plaintiff.
THE prohibitory law being in full
force in Maine, q witness before o
Belfast grand jury was asked if he
had drank in n certain saloon.
"Yes." "Often?" "How much in
six months 2" "Well, i can't tell
sxaetly. 10 might be--well--peE-
haps--well, say barrel"
a Boston restauraater serves up
corn .cobs fried in lard and sugar to
his customers, and they like 'cm.
by and by American genius will
roast, slice and serve up to hungry
men old hitching posts and work
benches and We'll be rs happy as
the day is long Free Press.
WAY up in Canada, somewhere,
is that distinguished American,
Sergeant Rates, with nothing to
protect him from the piercing
arctic blast but pair of old shoes
and the Star-spaugled Banner
lie writes that n man eau sit down
by the fire of patriotism and freeze
: % death.
'AMFLE precautions having been
taken, the prince will certainly hunt
the elephants, and the elephants
will not (as might have been eX-
pected) hunt the prince Every
last elephant of them has been
carefully hobbled, silver plated and
inlaid with his own ivory, TO at
once insure safety and givo the af-
81 fair the utmost possible tone.
IN asserting the family linen for
the wash, il is noticeable, that a
woman bestows her own and the
children clothing with that care
md nicely peculiar to tho sex, but
the minute she comes to her hus-
bands, things begin to fly around
as if a Keely motor had got under
tho pile aud gone mad.-[Brooklyn
Argus.
A case ofgeneral average; "Ain't
YOU rather old to ride for hall
price Z" said Charleston car con
ductor to the elder of two boys ri
ding Yesterday. "Well," remarked
the youth, At am under fourteen
and this boy with me is only six,
That don't maky twenty, and you
will take two boys under ten for
half price eaca"-and he took them.
WHEN the ladies learn that the
pull back is the style of dress in
whicn Homer entolded Helen; in
which Aspasia and Cleopatra moved
ill., two models of divine beauty
while Petrarch's Laura wore gar
ments that fitted her like n glove
they will keep to the style and i'm
proving the style in spite of the
Sings and arrows Of an outrageou:
press. 4 tA
The other day Vicksburg father
gently said: "Don't stuff victrals
into your mouth in that way, my
son; George Washington didn't eat
after that fashion. The boy, after
pondering for while, remarked to
himself; 'And don't believe that
George Washington licked his boy
for finding n bottle of whiskey in
the shed when he was hunting af,
ter q horseshoe, either"
A Harvard professor went down
toNne of the beaches of the New
England coast to bathe one stormy
day, but the men in charge refused
to let him 60 in. sOn his way back h
expressed his disappointment an(
indignation 10 the omnibus driver
"well, Ill tell you how it is" sale
the. driver, I'VE don't like TO have
strangers come down here and ge
drowned. It hurts the beach"
No. NATTER how Indifferent th,
rest of the world may prove to you
goings and your comingr, hov
careless Of whether you remair
away OF. come back, there is on
person who will witaess your de
parture with anxious heart, ont
pair of eyes that will grow brightel
when you return You know her
young man. Itis-it is-be still
oh. beating heartl Ii is youl
wash woman.-[ Brunswick News.