The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1875-11-04
A Victim OF Circumstances.
Burlington Hawkeye.l


Yesterday afternoon a lot of horses
belonging to somebody on South Hill
were strOlling down Boundary street,
near Angular, at the same time very
dignifed clergyman was walking along
on the sidewalk. The street is very
muddy, and presently the horses got
tired of it, and according filed across to
the plank walk, and prOmenaded along,
single file, right before the dominic.
Mares, colts, and in all there were just
thirteen of the animals, and they walked
along very solemnly, but making
terrific clattering on the plank, while the
clergyman followed, quietly amused at
the nonchalant manner with which the
horses took possession of the walk.
Pretty soon he heard a tremendous
shouting and a few screams at the head
of the procession, which came to dead
halt, and the minister became aware
that two women were trying to "shOO"
the horses into the street, by shrieking
and making threatening gestures with
their parasols, while the shouting came
from man in his shirt-sleeves on the
other side of the way, and his remarks
were addressed to the gospeller.
"Drive them horses Offn that ar side
walk ?" he yelled. "Aint you got no
more sense than that, we son of a rancher
Get them horses out into the road or I'll
wade through this mud to ye, and bury
we III the gutter"
"My friend" meekly began the minis
lister, "you labor under an erroneous
Labor nothinr" yelled the man.
"Don't we know better'n to drive a
lot of horses along sidewalk, and chas
women and children off into the mud ?
Now jest hump them cattle out into the
street or I'll make it hot for we p
You are hasty, Overmuch. lam not
driving"
"Oh-h-h! We outdacious liar," yelled
the man, Gas though l hadn't been
watchin' yc ever since we came around
yam corner, drivin' 'em along on the
sidewalk becaze We was too nice to walk
in the mud. A sweet-scented drover you
are. You are too high-toned for this
town, my duck, an if ye don't git them
horses into the street and mosey out o
this before l come acrost at We, yell
never drive another woman and her
baby into the mud agin' / kin tell ye."
The astonished preacher began to ex-
postulate once more, but the man was
out of patience by this time, and strobe
through the mud at the terrified gen.
tleman, rolling his sleeves up and swear.
ing terrifcally as he came, big with the
Importance of being the champion OF
two women and baby, against a foreign
drover. The minister had made up his
mind to be smashed, but Providence took
care of him, as it does of ministers and
editors and other good men. A dog who
lives down near the grocery, aroused by
the clamor, looked up and saw the
horses, who were standing quietly listen
ing to the quarrel, and in a second he
was over the fence, barking and swapping
at every pair of heels at once. The
frightened horses snorted, and, wheeling
off the sidewalk, charged madly across
the street, suddenly pulling up and
wheeling in different directions as they
met the man, and when they galloped
away the preacher saw sight that filled
him with horror. Those horses in theil
renzied plunging had slapped chunks Of
mud as big as nail kegs all over thai
man. They had plastered him from head
to foot; his ears were level full of blue
mud, and his shirt was mass of yellow
clay, and he was digging this Shiny mut
that grows in the wagon ruts, out of hi
eyes with both hands.
Every time he spit he blew out piece
of mud as large as turnips, and he spit
as near as the minister could estimate
ninety-fve times a minute. He wa
trying to say something, but the angel
above could never guess what. Their
hasn't been such muddy man in towl
since the night dear old Blake chased th,
policeman. The minister, grateful TO
the providential rescue, did not temp
Providence by offering to scrape hi
!, enemy off, but he fed in dignifed haste
! and only heard the women pause in tn
midst of their Mortified pity for thei
champion, to speak of the flying ministe,
as "horrid, ill-mannered horse-trader.
He only checked his speed one momen
to watch the dog who had created tn
!, stampede, stand for second on thre
legs to look in wild amazement at tn
apparition i'm the street, and then tur
! in abject terror, and fly to the privacy {
his kennel with piteous howls. And tn
minister marveled greatly on the il
tricacies and uncertainties of circun
stantial evidence.