Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1875-03-13
Facts and :Fanc..es.

Mr. Bowen says it's none of his
funeral.
An Indiana town wants TO have
Shanks mayor.
1t is intimated that heartless
Detroit boy fed marbles to par
rot
A Richmond, Va, lawyer has
fallen into British peerage.
In the Boston idiom a spring
like day is Juicy"
TO find out how many ailments
you have, read DOCTORS book.
Rev. Storrs won't allow Beech
er's name mentioned i'm his house.
How many Of our church doors
would open outwardly III a rush?
The Virginia Legislature is still
talking away on immigration
Since 1867 the Ohio pesitentiary
has cleared over $4,000.
Whitelaw Reid is an old rival of
Tilton, and don't like.him.
Allusions to the lion, the lamb
ard the Polar bear are strictly in
order.
Blondes are going out, say the
fashion gossips. Poor blondes!
Where will Brooklyn find its
st when this cruel trial is over.
Does any one detect the odor of
violets upon the blamy air.
A patent editorial stove, which
only burns basket of poems
day, is out.
A scoffer alludes TO female suff-
rage as a mock orange.
"Mexicans," a sort of thin silk,
is new fabric for overdresses.
One swallow doesn't make a
Spring, said the fellow who took
two.
The English revisers of the old
Testament have reached the ninth
chapter of Isaiah.
Gath" Calls Tilton" fool of
crusader Gath is severe at times
Concreted pebbles of Bersa
stone dust we're found in an Ohio
mason's lungs.
1t is sal ! The price paid for the
Philadelphia Age was $50, 900.
Adam was proudly conscious
that he never made a mistake in
his boyhood.
We beg to remind Messrs. Blaine
and Butler that Bladensburg is
handy.
An enterprising Oregon dentist
advertises' teeth in exchange for
wheat, por or potatoes.
Eighty thousand dollars from
Spain on account of the Virginius.
and We spent atthe time 81 900, 900
on our navy.
Hens Will have to hurry up the
laying season if they would 40 the
fair thing in eggs by Easter.
Mrs. Sine of New Jursey, say
an exchange at living with her
fourth husband" The other three
adjourned sine die.
Ex-Gov. Curtin is the child that
is in Washington taking notes for
the political contest of next year.
AT recent lottery in Mississippi,
only one man drew a prize; all the
rest drew pistols.
The best way to play billiards is
to sit in high CHI ir and make re-
marks, for then you are sure to
win however the balls NAV ciruu-
late.
Some people don't get enough
Of themselves living with them
selves every day, and so they keep
"a journal.-Beecher. That's not so
bad as writing letters.
Another $25 900 COW will never
be bothered again by blue bottle
flies i'm this world. The fourth
Grand Duchess of Oneida has been
driven homa by the Angel ofdeath.
1t is noted that all great humor-
lists are sober and eedaie, with
melancholy cast of counteuance.-
1t is rather serious business TO be
funny,
The Cleveland Herald stands up
for three-card monte-men. Some
folks when they have scraped to-
gether a little money forget old
friends.
1t is time to stop talking about
the softening influence of women
A Massachusetts, man who has
four wives has just been sent to
the peniten larry for horse stealing.
you should tell IA We: mont
man that carrying six black beans
in his vest pocket wouldn't keep
contagious diseases away, he won q
set you down "a one " ho thought
the world was fiat.
An Idaho gentleman stripped