National Republican., 1875-08-02
JONES BABY AND THE FINANCES
Mr. southWick,s Views.

Max Adeler has the following:
The Jonesee have very interesting baby, and
when Mr.. and Mrs. SouthHick called the other
day Mrs. Jones brought the baby into the parlor
with them. Presently Mr.. Soathwick began to
explain his views Of the financial situation to Mr.
Jones.
81 tell you, sir, what this country wants more
than anything else Is to reduce the volume ofits
currency. We have now, In round numbers,
saso, ,ooo,o 600 OF National Bank notes aioat. Now,
my policy would be to contract gradually as the
country is able to bear It until
Here Mrs. Jones broke in upon the conversation
to remark that the baby wanted to 20 to It's papa
Mr.. Jones took 1t, and Mr.. Southvick resumed:
II say would contract the volume Of that cur
rency as the country is able to bear It, until It is
SO reduced as to be at par with"
Mr.. Jones here disturbed Mr. Southvick's ar
gument to ask Mr.. Jones IL he didn't see that ths
oaoy Na1ted to gs TO Its aunt, and SouEhwick
II was about to say that II we continue to re-
duce these $3s0 900 000 and persist 10 that policy
In very few months the notes will be upon q par
n sa,, g0e :ba Ihsn en- Shsn We have reached specie
Here the baby began to cry in terriie manner,
and Mrs. Jones said she felt certain that IL was
When 1t became quiet Southwfck continued:
"a specie basis being secured, we shall be able
70 deal with foreign nations in the currency Of the
world, gold will dow into the country again, the
more we shall"
Just at this point Jones began to make mystic
riops signs to Mrs. Jones with his hand, and to
nod and frown at her. AS soon as he attracted
her attention she glanced at the baby, and sud-
denly bundled 1t up and few out Of the room.
Southwick gave sigh OF relief and taking up
the thread OF his argument said:
Don't you see that once more we shall be able
70 90 business upon sound basis, to know exactly
we nave instead such continued and violent fluc
t9anono OF values that here Mrs Jones returned
with the baby) mo man will be able to conduct
n ms business Operations with any certainty Of the
her lap land we shall have not only constant
speculations in gold, but such an sxpausion Of
ousin ess on sll sides that the country -"
Just then the baby threw mp over Mrs. South
wicks new dress, and she suddenly handed it to
Mrs. Jones, and looked as II she had a profound
conviction that the ultimate destination of that
mrs. Jones remarked that its stomach must be
sour, and the aunt went for the Iime-water bottle
When the excitement was over Southwick, with
something Ike wrath In his tone, said:
II say such unnatural expansion Of business
that the country Will move straight forward to a
panic very much more terrible In its consequences
than any that"
Mrs. Jones here burst into the argument to ask
Mr.. Southwick to listen to the baby say ''papa"
she coaxed II, but It wouldn't. Then Jones tried
70 persuade to say papa for the company. but it
sucked Its thumb In silence. At last Jones'
afraid Southwick would think there was some,
thing the matter with the child's mind, exclaimed
SAY papa or I'll spank your 1t began to cry,
and Jones saying, "Gimme that confounded brat, !"
seized it and left the room in passion. Then
Mr.. and Mrs. Southvick withdrew, and as they
went out through the front gate SouthwIck said
"If ever owned q baby like that I'd tie brick
around its neck and chuck II into the canal"
The Southwicks have stopped visiting the
Joneses, and Mrs. Jones says that If she'd Known
Mrs. Southwick could so mind about little sour
milk on that hideous botch OF dress, she'd have
sent her round . new one.