Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-27
Odds and Ends

! II bue MOSQUITO VINO lett our nose in
such hurry that he forgot his bill,
will call, be can have it, and no questions
will be asked
How much have you got meat-axed
for y as the butcher said when he
called at the tax collectors Office to set
tle
THE plowman must go up and down,
and whatever else play be done, there
is no other way but the long way to do
the work well.
HE New Orleans Republican is
around lnquiring how the news tina
comes through the ocean cable can be
50 dry.
The Rev. DR.. Po1teous carried life
insurance policy until last June, when
he failed to pay the premium. His
family are left with very little property.
A CANE, said to be 900 years old, has
been brought to the Office of the Bing-
hamton Republican by Mr.. Howell.
1t is made of reed, has an ivory top, and
also brass ferule.
A HUSBAND In Massachusetts can't
make up his mind on the currency
question, and SO he refused to allow
his wife any pin-money until decision
can be arrived at.
! INDIAN modesty-riding naked into
the presence of our commissioners, and
offering to.sell Black Hills for 81 ,OOO,-
900 year. as long as the world would
stand Washington Chronicle. s,s.t, 1
The Toledo Blade tells story OF
| little girl who saw her mother in a
party dress and exclaimed: ssWhy,
mamma, you look as fine as a hired
girl" . ~
The census taker of sn Eastern town
has found a woman who is only twenty
five years of age and has ten living chill
dren, the eldest of whom is thi rteen years
old 4es.g -
A WOMAN is very like a kettle, If you
come to think of it. She sings away SO
! pleasantly-then she stops-and when
you least expect it, she boils over u
Judy.
AN Albanian, who lost a hat on
James Buchanan's election; paid the
! wager last week. The returns mus
have come in very slowly In Alabama.
-NorrdstoaOn Herald.
ssMa, . observed Blobbs' little child
refectively the other night as the first J.
stars came out, don't you think when
those stars winkle that they must tickle
the angels feet?" - : -,
| A NEW candidate is in the field in
Chicago for a county office, and is work
ing hard. His friends believe that his
chances Of success are extremely good
for they say: "Dont he know iverJV
wan az. the 'byes, wasn't he a guard in g
1 the penitentiary for tin years !" - 9oi ~
7 The stupidest boy that ever success .
fully resisted the attempt to propel the
etymology of the word baker into his
intellectual system will display more ]
Ingenuity and knowledge OF strategy IN
/. robbing an apple orchard than the Colo !
mel of a militia regiment - pssh SO
s'You're always off, at nights, Lean
DER" said Mrs Spilkins reproachfully
the other evening. g g Yes. my DEAR >
replied Spilkins. s You'll remember
even when first proposed, you consid- !
/ cred me a pretty good offer ~ Y.
| Commercial Advertiser, s;s. 80. s
3 TRAVELLERS in Brittany find a queer /.
item In their hotel bills bed bug .
poison. "3e If they grumble, the land
| lord shrugs his shoulders and regrets
that he did 1ot know that monsieur
would prefer that the dnsects should not
be poisoned at his expense.
M1co LIUBIBRATH, the leader Of the
Herzegovinian insurgents, is a, brave,
resolute man. When a student he )
! took part in revolutionary movement
against the Turks. He is about thirty
years of age, and is deemed well quail
fed for the position he has attained.
TRUE friendship keeps no proGt-and-. =
loss account, posts no ledgers. strikes
/ no daily balances, but takes gratitude
for granted, and regards affection as al
ways solvent. It has no clearing house,
gives no notes of hand, carries on ne E
| brokerage Of attachment, makes 10 bar &
gains in the commerce of the affections 4.
With It ssyours truly" goes great way,
and certainly worn threadbare as they
are by incessant use, no words have a
stouter body of significance left IN them.
NeaU York Isg6assae; IaiIkl8a
Ar small town in the valley of the
Arno called Incisa there lived a drug
gist named Grandi. He is deformed
man whose absurd appearance exposed
him to the ridicule of the juvenile pop
ulation. This and the general bitter
ness of his unhappy disposition he de-
termined to avenge by the destruction
of as many of the young tormentors as
he could find The means OF numbering.
Attracted by che cries OF his fifth VIC
tim, the neighbors broke into his house
in time to save the lite of the fifth. The
skeletons of the other four have been
discovered buried under the pavement
/ or otherwise secreted about the prem
Uses. The trial in this case will be Gu
rious one, of which may have to write
further.-T. Adolphsts 1rolIope, to
Tribune.
The Dallas (Texas) Commercial tells
that lately, on cutting fine large wa
! termelon there was found comfortably
located IL the center a small, yellow
spotted lizard, about four inches IN
length. Apparently lifeless when taken
out, it was soon resuscitated on being
placed in the sun, but lived only few
minutes. It was of beautiful brown
Il o.