Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1875-03-04
J0KER'S BUDGET.

for it has thousand ears.
Why are the girls in Missouri always
sweet? Because they are Mo. !asses.
Why was Noah never hungry in the
ark2 Because he always had ham With
him.
An ole bachelor is a traveller on lifes'
railroad, who has entirely failed to make
the proper connections.
The following sentence will show the
importance Of the position Of comma
"Woman Without her man, is BRUTE"
The word debt is composed of the
initials of "dun every body twice."
C.r.e-d>i,t is formed Of the initial letters
of "call regularly every day-Fll trust"
An indignant orator, at u recent politi-
cal meeting, in refuting an opponent,
Numbered out mr.. Chairman, | scorn
The allegation, and | defy the alligator"
When is a young mans arm like the
Gospel? When 1t maketh glad the waist
places.
When is butterfly like a kiss? When
it alights on tulips.
A white boy met q colored lad the
other day and asked him what be had
such a short nose for. Ispect so it won't
poke itself into other peoples business
Josh Billings says; "When a young
man amt good for anything else, / like
tew sec him carry a gold-hoaded cane
If he can't buy a cane, let him part his
hair in the middle.
To make little boys trowsers last, wher
you make o suit of clothes for them, finish
the coat first, and by SO doirg you will
make the trowsers last. 1t is the only
way the thing can be done
On o certain occasion Of 40 eclipse il
Virginia. a colonel individual became
greatly elated. "Bress de Lord !' sale
he, "de niggers time hab come at last
and now ives gwine to hab a black SUM-
A young fellow eating som Cheshire
cheese, full! of shippers, at a tavern on
night, exclaimed Now [ have done a
much a. Sampson, for l bave slain m,
thousandsa and tens ofthousands.' yes
retorted another, ''and with the jaw bon
of an ass"
A stump speaker exclaimed 81 knov
no North, no South, no East, no Yves
fellow-citizens T. "rhen,". exclaimed a
old farmer in the crowd, ats time ys
went to school and larnt jOgraphy."
The day before Washington's blrthda,
in February last. a lady teacher, in giviu
notice Of the coming holiday to her pupil
said something about the good Was
ington, and then asked the question
'Why should we celebrate Washington
birthday more than mine?"
because he never told o lie p shouts
little boy.
This was rather hard on the teache
but the boy did not sec it.
A young lady who was rebuked by b
mother for kissing her intended, justi6,
the act by quoting the passage: "Wh;
soever ye would that men should do I'm
you, do you even so to tnem."
Women are said to have stronger
tachments than men. 1t is evinced
little things. A man is often attached
an old hat; but did you ever know OF
woman having an attachment for an Q
bonnet.
"Pa, will you get me a pair of skat
if will prove to you that a dog has
tails?" "Yes, my son. swell, to beg
one dog has one more till chan no d.
hasn't be?" YES swell, no dog |
nine tails; and if one dog has one mt
tail than no dog. then one dog must ha
ten tails! p He got the skates.
A married man in New Hampsh
has adopted an original method of ecor
my. One morning, recently, when
knew his wife would see him, he kiss
the servant girl. The house expen
were instantly reduced $500 per year.