The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1875-11-15
Facts and Fancfcs.

Inc worst 6h'lSe "ot l''''''" "
mortgage.
The IIrstcrn Methodist has invented
new name ior m old woman-" matrl-
nrch."
No man but horse car conductor has
the right Of patting Indy on the Dack
without m introduction.
Nearly S275, 900 n month is paid ont
for labor i'll the silver mines OF Hough-
ton and Eewoenaw counties, Michlgnn.
4 Georgia Judge has just decided that
an officer who shoots man whom he IS
trying to arrest for q petty olense Is
guilty OF murder.
BY far the largest sum expended for
fortifications in Great Britainis at Ports
mouth, where there are works represent
ing about E3, 100000.
The Territorial Enterprise reports
that in Nevada there is plenty OF money
to those who don't want it. That Is
very much tho case elsewhere.
A boy thirteen years old shot himself
in st. Louis last week because his par
cnts had decided 10 send him away IRON
home TO fill business situation.
Gathering autumn leaves was formerly
n fashionable amusement, but since tho
irruption OF tho pinch, back dress the
gathering has been confined to boys
81 stand upon the soil Of freedoml"
cried n stump orator. "No," exclaimed
his shoemaker, "you stand in q pair oil
boots that have never been paid for
In putting up stovepipe remember
that tho elbow was made to fit tho oven
door. md that six blows from an ax will
knock thunder and lightning out OF any
joint.
at saw IN excellent thing in your
pamphlet" said Daniel OConnell to a
younc writer. "Eh? What, sir1' was
The eager rejoinder. "a penny bun' my
friend"
A scientist has ascertainel that man
is | SIG times rs largo rs n house fly,
md this knowledge is enough to make
n fellow sheer his hat over his ear and
step high.
A Young lady asking young man i'll
n music store, "Have you happy
drenmsI" was astonished when he re-
piled: "No, ma'am, I'm mostly trou'
bled with the nightmare"
Conversation between Cincinnati
Young ladies-"S Shes themost disagree
able Sirl | ever saw" "Yes, and the
proudest, though her father packed only
n hundred hogs last yea"
Tho number of liquor saloons i'll
Michigan has decreased ], lib IN ono
wear under the operations OF the Inv in
posing n heavy State tax on saloons
which have taken ont United States
licenses.
"Rose, my DEAR" said mother to
her daughter, "if you arc so still and
reserved, you will never get a husband"
"Ara," retorted the young lady, "nnlcss
the poets tell itbs, n primrose is not
without attractions"
Among the Yarrow tribes Of Bengal
marriage is arranged by the young
couples themselves; but il their parents
refuse their compliance the friends OF
the lovers assemble and beat them into
acquiescnce.
Some robbers having broken into n
geutleman's house, went to the bed OF
the servant and told him il ho moved he
was n dead man. "That's falsehood,"
said he, "ior if move, I'm sure that
I'm alive"
Lester Sykes, of Springfield, Mass,
was accounted n rich man; but when he
died no funds could be found. Some
body remembered hearing him say shAt
he iad secretcd bonds, md the heirs arc
digging over the premises in search OF
the treasure.
A follower OF Faust, named Budd,
was paying.his addresses to a young lady
named Rose. After while he popped
tho question: "Rose, wilt thou be
mine!" Rose answered 81 nm sorry
it cannot be, for Rose cannotbe turned
into Budd."
Jacob Benjamin, aged llfty-lvc. n rich
pawnbroker OF Baltimore, died recently
from erysipelas, which was produced by
the use of hair dye. The deceased used
the hair dye on his whiskers, and it ir-
ritated his throat. He then shaved his
whiskers of, when crysipelas set in.
The new State constitution of No
braska contains q provision that Tie
United States Senators shall hereafter
be elected by direct vote OF tho people.
1t will be M interesting question now
to be settled whether this is not in CON
flict with the constitution Of the United
States.
A woman cured her husband Of stay
ing out late Mt night by going to tho
door when he came home and whisper
ing through the keyhole: sis that you,
Williei" Her husbands name is John,
and hc stays at home every night now,
and sleeps with one eye open and re-
volver under his pillow
"Jim," inquired schoolboy OF one
Of his mates, "what is the meaning OF
relics I" don't you knowl Well, l
} can tell you. You know tho master
licked me in school yesterday" ayes"
) "Well, he wasn't satisfied with that, but
} kept mo after school and licked mo
! again. That is what / call II rc.lick.
A certain colored deacon on occasion
OF missionary collections was wont to
shut lis eyes and sing: ely abroad,
thou mighty Gospel" with such earnest.
ness anl JUNCTION that no would quite
forget to SEQ the plate asit camo around.
"Oh, yes" said the plate bearer, "bnt
, , Just you give something to make it n.y."