Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-12-30
M,.ceIIaneous.


first embrace.
1t is impolite to say a man has
acheek;". say ''facial area"
It's curious that we employ Irish
frieze to prevent American freeze,
isn't it?
The earliest art students made ar
row heads. Some of the latest art
students make chucklelieads.
aCourtship is bliss" said an ar
dent young man. "Yes, and matri-
mony is blister snaried an old bach
elor.
Some people think Tweed is still
in the city We think he's still,
wherever he is.-Commerctal Ad-
rertiser.
Teacher-"What is the definition
of fiirtation?" Intelligent young pu-
piI-"It is attention without inten-
tion."
When Chinese sea captain wants
to sell his ship, where would he take
it? Why, to the junk dealer, of
course.
"Pm married now" was the excuse
Chicago youth gave florist for not
buying as many bouquets as in former
years.
SHE was one of our most energetic
trustees" says a village paper in an
obituary notice, "and we trustees
happy"
There is a man in Indiana who
takes thirty-two newspapers, and you
might as well try to ride whirlwind
on a sidesaddle as to attempt to i'm
pose upon that man.
Now my little boys and girls said
teacher, 4 want you to be very
still-so that you can hear a pin
DROP In a moment all was silent,
when little boy cried out, Let her
DROP
Have you any nice fresh farmers
eggsT inquired precise old lady at
a grocery store. No, ma'am,' replied
the practical clerk, but we have
some very good hens eggs She
took three to try.
Over the porch of the old South
Church at Boston is chiselled: Be
hold! 1 have set before you an open
door," and under, on the door, is
printed in emphatic letters, Positive
ly no admittance.
1t is said that the Baptist minister
who is carrying on the pen-fight
against the Catholics at Trenton, n.
j., is so bitterly opposed to the Ro-
man faith, that in manuscript he will
not cross his letter rs.
A bachelor returning from a hall
in a crowded coach, declared with a
groan that he had not the slightest
objection to rings on his fingers,
but he had a most unequivocal aver
sion to 'belles on his toes.
A lady applying for admission to
the Junior class of an eastern semina-
ry, being questioned by the Presi
dent as to her qualifications, replied:
4 amt much of an arithmeticker,
but am an excellent grammarist.'
The shortest way the best-Mam-
ma Ito Ethel, on their way to the lat
ter's first party Now, mind, dar
ling, if you see any nice things on
the table that you'd like to eat, you
mustn't ask for them Ether-'O, no,
mamma!-Pll take them. Punch.
Prose. Laura (who is still a trifie
romantlc:) Don't you think there is
something very solemn about the fall
of the dead leaves, ReginaldP Regin-
aid, her husband (who has outgrown
his romance Very pause. Talk
ing of dead leaves, what the deuce
and all have l done with my to-
bacco?
A showcase containing fancy cards,
ETC., specimens of the work done in
side,' stands in front of a Trenton,
n j., printing house, and placard is
attached to the same, which reads in
large letters, Hands off A few
nights since some witty newsboy
gave quite new import to the card
by making it read Hands off-on a
drunkr'
Country bookseller to Fourth street
woman-'Yes, but the work is both
instructive and humorous Fourth
street woman-sThat amt the point.
You see my husband has crippled so
many agents, and you're nice look
ing young man, and hate to see you
hurt! That's him comm in the back
wayp The young man said there
was nothing compulsory about it, and
was gone.
AS a colored resident of Detroit
was breasting the storm, with new
umbrella over his head, he was halted
by friend and brother, who asked,
Is dat your umbrella?' Yes, sab
cost me $2,' was the prompt reply.
Mr.. Savage said the other, very sol
emnly, when a man will buy a So
umbrella to keep the wet off n fifty
cent. suit of close, what's de use to
talk about economyY-Detron Free
Press.