The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1875-04-09
Clothes Pins.

The Danbury News gives off this
shower of sparks just for fun: Ladies
who have husbands who are neglectful
in supplying them with kindlings should
study the experience of a Di-
vision street sister. All her married
life she has had an unbroken struggle
piled with wood, and the greater part of
the time she has been obliged to depend
upon her own deftness with the axe, and
any one who has seen woman handle
an axe knows what dreadful thing 1t
is. Two months ago she begged of him
not to go away without leaving her some
finally did. Then she hit upon plan.
She had four dozen clothes pins. She
took one dozen of them for starting the
fire, and found that they worked admir-
ably. The next day she used another
dozen, and so she continued until the
four dozen were gone. Then she went
to the store and purchased an other four
dozen-having them put in the bill
When they were gone she repeated the
errand. She said no more TO him about
kindlings. For ten years she had kept
up the battle, and now she was tired and
sick at heart. He could go his own way,
and would go hers-patiently, uncom-
plainingly-until the end would come.
On Monday he signifed at the store
that he would like to settle his account.
The bill was MADE out and handed
him. He glanced down the items. AS
he advanced along the columns his face
began to work. First his eyes slowly
enlarged, then his mouth gradually
opened, caused by the dropping of his
lower jaw; and wrinkles formed on his
forehead. One-third down the column
he formed his lips as if to whistle. Four
lines below he did whistle. Half way
down he said:
'Gra-ciousn
A little further on he said:
Thunder
Four more lines were taken in, and he
spoke again:
BY the Jumping JupiterH
Then he read on, smItIng his thighs
vigorously, and giving vent to various
expressions of the liveliest nature. FL
nally he threw his bill down.
Il say, Benson, look here; this bill
can't be mine; you've got me mixed up
with some laundry
"That's your bill, SIR said the grocer
smiling pleasantly.
Il tell you it can't be- persisted the
Division street man, beginning to look
scared. Why, here's fifty five dozer
clothes pins in a two months bill. Wha
on earth do you take me fora four
story laundry?'
But is is your bill. Your wife car
explain it to you. She ordered the pins.
My wifel gasped the unfortunate man
Yes, sir
The debtor clutched the bill, jammet
it into his pocket. and hurried straigh
home. He bolted into the house with
out any abatement of speed and fingin!
the paper ON the table before his wife
knocked his hat on the back of his head
and said:
Martha Ann johnson, what does thi
mean? There are 55 dozen clothes pin
in Benson's bill for the past two months
and he says you ordered every one O
Them
And so I did, said she, demurely.
What! Fifty-five dozen clothes pin
in two months! and he shot down into
chair as if freight car had fallen atol
of him. Fifty five dozen of clothe
pins in two MONTHS he howled. Will
just heaven stand that?'
Il tell you, you needn't stare at M
that way, Reuben Wheeler johnson, no
go calling onto heaven with your impi
business. / ordered them clothes pin
myself, and l have burnt every one {
'em in that stove, just because you wer
too all-fred lazy to get a stick of WOOD
And I declare, before I'll be bothere
jawing and fighting to get you to CT
wood, I'll burn up every clothes pin
the land, and you shall pay for them,
you have to sell the shirt on your bac
to do it. So nowl'
And Mrs. Johnson, with face liz
scarlet, snatched up the broom, and wei
: to sweeping the carpet as if every fak
: of dust was red hot coal, while the III
t happy Mr.. johnson hastened to the stor
and paid the bill. And before dan
that night he had half cord of WOO
! sawed, split and piled mp ready for us