The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-07-12
GOSSLP.


him a Loader two2
"Onions are recommended as an anti
: dote for sleeplessness." OF course. How
can fellow snore loudly unless he hal
a strong breathp
A sunday-school teacher at Newburgh
N. Y, recently asked one OF her scholar
where he expected to go when he died
He replied, "To Ohio, to my papa"
| An Albany chap preferred the Peni
tentiary to living with his wife, and was
sent up for year. 1t isn't every abused
husband that has such safe refuge.
Chinese is to be taught at Bostor
Normal school. The girls are determined
to be no longer Ignorant OF what is writ
ten on tire-cracker packs and tea chests
A philosopher asserts that the reason
| why ladies'Iteeth decay sooner than gen.
tlemen's, is because of the friction on
the tongue and the sweetness OF the
lips.
The Richmond Enquirer says that the
new way of pinning back the feminine
skirt may We fashionable, but it isn't
pretty. Now look out for another news
paper libel suit.
| To attempt to make the world believe
that Theodore Tilton is worse than pen.
niless when human hair is fetching eight
dollars barrel, is bid ior sympathy
that don't go down.
When Washington correspondent at
tempts to interview prominent man,
| the latter dismisses him by calculating a
scripture name. He says "Go-liah l"-
and the correspondent goes.
A Philadelphia baker has informed the
police that he has an irresistible desire
to bake his wife, and they have locked
him up. Philadelphians now pull their
loaves apart and look for baked bakers
wives.
A Chicago girl, just one month mar
ried, upon meeting an old schoolmate in
the street, put on very wise look and
remarked: "You can not imagine the
labor and anxiety incident to the care OF
a family"
Our country has about forty Lieuten-
ant Governors, but Michigan's the only
one known to fame. Just for joke he
made emotion as II to kiss q mans
wife," and now enjoys a vacation with
jug of arnica.
A game of chess between O player Of
Pforzheim, in Baden, and another In
New YORK, begun in 1880, has just ended,
after sixteen years playing, the New
Yorker winning. The moves were con-
Quoted by letter.
An English undertaken, with an eye to
future COMFORT, has Invented a ''wicker
cotfin," hoping to induce more persons to
die during the summer, no doubt. He
says his cool s'wicker coffin" is just the
thing for wickerd people.
A Maine girl left her clothing in an
open boat and hid herself, and when her |
parents were crying and saying that il |
they only had her BACK they would obey |
her slightest wish, she appeared and |
said she wanted to marry Jake.
Isanyson's "Queen Mary" contains
me passage in winch realism and sug-
yestiyeness are neatly blended. Mary,
smelling Cranmer burning at the stake,
,ails down the pipe to The cooks to shut
he Kitchen door or to be more careful
With the irying-pan.
George Alfred Townsend has scraped
he ST. Louis dust from his bfogans, and
lgain become guerrilla in journalism.
}eorge wields q flashing pen; but alas
rot tor him IS the glittering hatehet; not
or him the fourIshing cherry tree. lie
loes it 80 easy, too.
A young man, who was quite dog
'aneier before his marriage, now has ~ }
BOY a year and half old, and is qnite !
over its training. He says
ie believes the blamed fittle thing has
,ot as much sense as a rat terrier, and
With proper training can be taught as
many tricks.
If those dresses were twice as tight L
hey Weuld wear them. IL it were the
ashton to carry q barrel Of flour on the
Jack OF tha neck they would DO it, or die |
,rying. You couldn't devise o fashion
,t,,yt liz fall
10 clothes in winter to Learskin over
;oabs in summer.
''rhe almighty problem is to make a
living without working" as the man
,aid when he shouldered a. stereopticon
ind started for the rural districts. In |
to his moral show and lecture,
ie circulated ''crooked' five cent pieces. |
Ihe gov vernment feeds HIM now at the /
cost of his freedom.
We do not know how 1t is, but in re-
marking that the Grand jury would ad- /
ourn on Saturday last the san Antonio l
deraId says: "fhis will enable those |
.itizens who have been absent from
own since the jury met TO return in
ime to attend church in the morning."-l
Y. o. Republican.
A fourteen year old girl in Sandy Hill,
Y. T., eloDed with a scnool boy, got mar.
led, and returned home to be forgiven |
She was soundly spanked by her mother,
ind the husband on his way out of the
rouse was Kicked eighteen tunes by her |
ather. They had never read amy thing
ike that In novels.
The present rage in Paris for floral dec
,rations as " part OF tepale embelish-
nent is such, that. to look at some OF tile
aides as they move along, one would
imagine that they had pOked their head |
md waist through a bed OF garden /
lowers, and were bearing Off the spoils I
,ver half their persons. /
A. new trick has been devised for the /
Of patent moving and
'eaping machines. All the agents in a /
certain range of territory club together,
tfter " good day Of sales, give grand I
Inner to the buyers, and arrange pro- |
;ession through the principal sDreets OF (
! large town, in which the sold machines |
Jlay an important part. Tn places where /
t has been tried the plan 1s said ~. nt- /
;ract as great " crowd as circus.
Said demure-looking stNtnger with a I
prayer book under his arm to an old res-
dent yesterday moEning: "Where can /
find the Methodist place of Worshipr
After you pass the seventh bar room |
IN this side OF the street, strike across |
and take up Soledad street, and you Will \
ind it one hundred yards beyond the |
last beer saloon on the same street, |