Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1875-08-16
ABOUT ICE CREAM.

very sollAls anu When the Slri aSkeu MIN
what he wanted, he replied
''COrned beef, fried potatoes. pickles
and mince pie"
This is not a restaurant, this is an
ice cream parlor, she said.
Then why did you ask what | want
ed for? Why didn't you bring on your
ice cream %
She went after it, and as she return
ed, he continued:
''You see my dear girl, you must in
fer-you must reason. 1t isn't likely
that would come into an ice cream
parlor to buy grindstone, is it? You
didn't think came in to ask if you
had any baled hay, did you ?"
She looked at him in great surprise
and he went on:
'If l owned hardware store and
you came in | would infer that you came
for something in my line. ] wouldn't
step up and ask you if you wanted to
buy mule, would o.
She went away highly indignant
An old lady was devouring dish of
cream at the next table, and the stran-
ger, after watching her for a moment,
called out:
my dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dIsh?"
"Mercy no !" she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
"Well. I'm glad of it, he continued,
'If you find any just let me know"
She looked at him for half minute,
picked up the spoon. laid it down again,
and then rose up and left the ROOM
She must have said something to the
proprietor, for he came running in and
exclaimed:
"Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice cream p
"No, sir
"You didn't p
"No, sir, did not; merely request
ed her. in case she found any such in
gradients, to inform me-"
"Well, sir, that was mean trick"
'sMy dear SIR" said the stranger,
smiling softly, "did you expect me to
ask the woman if she had found crow
bar or sledge hammer in her cream? 1t
is impossible, sir, for such articles to be
hidden away in such small dishes"
The proprietor went away, growing,
and as the stranger quietly sipped away
at his cream two young ladies came in,
sat down near him, and ordered cream
and cakes. He waited until they had
eaten little, and then he remarked:
"Beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste Of
this cream p
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
were not certain.
"Does it taste to you as if plug Of
tobacco had fallen into the freezer?"
be asked.
"Ah! kah they exclaimed, dropping
their spoons. and trying to spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and
it wasn't long before the proprietor
rushed in.
"See here, what in blazes are you
talking about ?" he inquired. "What
do you mean by plug tobacco In the
freezer ?"
"My kind friend, asked the ladies
if this cream tasted Of plug tobacco. /
don't taste any such taste, and don't
believe you used a bit Of tobacco in it."
"Well, you don't want to talk that
way around here !" continued the pro-
prietor. "My ice is pure, and the man
who says it isn't, tells a bold lie"
He went away again, and woman
with long neck and sad face sat
down aud said to the girl that she would
take small dish Of lemon ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken
about two mouthfuls when the stranger
inquired httA ahA
Excuse me, madam. but do you know
how this cream was made Have you
an idea that they grated turnips and
chalk with the cream p
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up,
wheeled around, and made for the door.
The stranger followed after. and by
great good luck bis coat tails cleared
the door an instant too soon 10 be struck
by FIVE pound box Of figs. hurled with
great force BY the indignant proprietor.
AS be reached the curbstone be halted.
looked at the door Of the parlOr, and
soliloquized
There are times when people should
infer and there are times when they
shouldn't | suppose if l had asked
that woman il she thought they hashed
up sawmill in the cream she'd have
felt a circular saw going down her
throat "---Detroit Free Press
{ "a I-.sak fine