davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

the member, When the scnoolmsster SUD-
denly inquired: =. ~.3
"Do they allow licking in the schools
here! 1fthey do, I'm tn man you want
to dress the boys down! I've had 'em
come for me by the dozen, and it would
do your heart good to see the way I laid
EN-! Why, when had that school in
Bay county thought nothing Of licking
thirty scholars day, besides hearing
twelve classes recite! I'm an old
screame1s I tell you, and there's fun in
me when you get me woke up!'
II hardly think commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up and said:
''Of course you won't take me unless l
pass examination, but hain't afraid Of
not passing. I'd like to see word l
couldn't spell. For instance: 'Cartarrh
|-c-a-t.a.r-r-h, catarrh'; dandelion-d-a.n-
d.e-l-i.o.n.' Or try me OH words of four
syllables: Observation-Disclosures,
lugubrious.' Oh! I can knock the socks
right off n these swell-head teachers and
not half try
Isl should like to help yeu,' put in the
member, 'sbut-''
'*Oh! you needn't think I'm behind on
geography interrupted the teacher.
"For instance: What is an isthmus? An
isthmus is narrow strip of land con.
Meeting two larger bodies. Is the world
ound or fat Round Why is it round!
Because it is. Which is tie largest river
in tne world? The Amazon. Which is
the highest mountain? The Andes. l
might 20 on for seventy-five days in this
way, and then not tell you half know"
'sYou seem to be pretty well posted in
geography, but as wanted to tell
"And on grammar too - exclaimed the
teacher, jumping up again. "What IS a
noun? A noun is the name Of any per-
son, place, or thing. Give us an exam.
pie: Man, dog, cat, coon, goat, jack -knife.
| fsh-hook, gate.post. What are the prin-
ciple conjunctions! And, as, both, be.
! cause, for, if, that, or, nor, neither, either,
| and so forth and SD forth. Oh! I'm
right on the roof of the meeting house
when you sling grammar at mel
The member was getting desperate,
and as soon as he could get in word he
said:
Il will take your name, and as soon as
o vacancy
"And / know arithmetic from cover to
cover y exclaimed the man, standing up
again. 81 can 20 through the tables like
lightning through haystack, and when
you get to fractions and cube root I'm
awful weigh ton and half and still
growing! 'Rithmetic's my favorite
study, and I'll give you $50 to find man
who'll saw sums in two and plane en-
down as quickly as I CAMP
His speech took the wind out of him,
and the member managed to say there
was no vacancy at present, but he would
take his name and consider his case as
soon as one occurred
I'D like to commence right off?'' re-
piled the man; ''but I'm willing to wait
Here's my name, and the mint I get you,
letter III come down a.aying. If you
get ME you don't get 1nucn style, but
you get solid old common sense and gen
uine education. You won't see scholar.
playing hide.and-coop around the wood
box or marbles on the foor-no 70,
won'tP'
And he went down stairsk
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

81 CHARLES KIKogLH.

When all the world is young, lad,
And all the trees are green
And every goose swan, lad,
Ind every lass queen;
They hey for boot and horse lad,
And round the world awayl
Young blood must have its course, lad,
And every dog his day.
When all the world is old, lad,
And all the trees are brown;
And all the sports are stale, lad,
And all the wheels run down;
Creep home, and take your place there,
The spent and manned among;
God grant you find one face there
You loved when all was young.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
Answers to Correspondents.

In answer to alphabetical" in your last is
sue, for = remedy for consumption in its first
stages, l can recommend Dr.. Piere's "Golden
lections, for it has been thoroughly tried in
my family, and the results were glorious. cal
phabetcaP' must not expect one bottle to do
the work-my wife took three bottles before
she could discover any change, but after the
third bottle every dose seemed to strengthen
the lungs, and now she is we'll and hearty. II
"Alphabeticap will write to me will get wit
nesses to the above.
HENRY II. NJ. PATTON.
Lawrence, Marion County Indiana.
-Cincinnati Times, Feb. 4, 1875.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
Strong, Well Made, ana Does Good
Work.

Work.
HIGHLAND, Fillmore Co., MINI.
Messrs. Strother, Conklin & Paine, De-
corah, Iowa THE Edward Harvester that
purchased of your agent proved to be all
or more than it was recommended. We
cut all the grain on both places ITO
acres) in good season, without the Leaf ex.
pense for repairs. When took the ma
chine apart to store it for winter, I did
not find any part Of it but appeared good
as new. The grain on my old farm was
cut with Marsh last year. It scattered
about two bushels per acre in the wheat.
This year we raked the stuble with a
sulky rake and got one-fourth Of bushel
per acre. I bound alone on the Edward
Harvester this year in whea: that yield
ed 20 bushels per acre, eight acres and 60
rods in eight hours and twenty minutes:
The machine is strong, well made, and
does good work. G: W. CARPENTER.
Has the Best Binding Arrangement.
NORWAY, Fillmore Co., MINI. Aug. ~
| Messrs. Strothcr, Conklin & Paine, De.
corah, Iowa.-The Edward Harvester that
purchased of you does good work; ele
Yates grain either wet or dry. cut 125
acres of grain, and averaged Ii acres per
day, and the last day cut fifteen acres
| Of wheat and two binders bound it. They
had never worked on harvester before,
and l believe the binding arrangement is
better than the one on the Marsh. The
grain saving box is splendid thing. ]
saved in one days work six bushels Of
wheat in it, and it does actually save the
shelled grain more than expected when
bought it; and, in short, am well pleas
ed, and would recommend the Edward
Harvester to any one wishing to buy next
year.
Respectfully yours,
ANDREW CHR1sT1ARsON.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

The minds OF men, in perpetual strife,
Revolve from age to age, and find no rest;
While nature, in unfading youth and beauty,
Obeys one everlasting law OF duty;
Upon her constant bosom, ever green,
Beneath her sky of never-ading blue,
Lived all the generations who have been;
And still hsr children find her fresh and new
And the same sun that, DER some Grecian hill,
Homer beheld, is shining on us still.
SCHILLER.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
n allkinr Against . woman.

The Alppodrome was re'oP1neu '~s.
evening, says the New York Woftd. OF
the 30th ult., for season of two: weeks.
The performance closed with the specta-
Gle Of the 'sFete of Pekin," reproduced
with new costumes and dresses.
The additional attraction to the regu-
lar programme was offered by the man.
arelnent of a novel walking match. The
two contestants were William E. Harding,
the pedestrian, and Mdlle. Lola, the fe.
male symnast. The conditions of the
match we're that Harding should walk
fifty miles in ten hours and half, and
Lola thirty in the same time. The track
used was the inner one,
used by Weston in his last walk.
Harding came on the track at
IL NJ, and at 1906 N. started off for his
walk. He was dressed in white shirt,
blue trousers, buttoned at the ankle, Eng
lish walking-shoes and white hat. He
started off at quick gait, walking well
and handsomely. The first mile was
made in On. 20s., and the first five miles
in 48m. IS. After Harding had been I'M
der way about half an hour Mdlle. Lola
came to the judges stand, and at l2A'
37m. P. M. was started on the same
track. The young lady is no novice
at the work, and walks in good form:
She is slight built, but seems to have good
powers Of endurance. She was rugged III
white waist, blue knee breaches, striped
blue and white stockings, and high stout
shoes. On the back of her mass of loose
ly flowing hair was perched saucy ,look'
ing sailor-.ike hat, and in her hands she
carried light riding whip: She walked
with free, easy step. taking her time to
do her mile at first, but GRADUALLY
warming into a good four
mile an hour gait. At Oh.
45m. the walk was temporarily brought
to a stop by the great @<Blue Beard'' pro-
cession. Harding rested from Oh. Am
4ls. until Oh. 29n. 20s., during which
time he ate his dinner. Mdlle Lola
stopped from 2h. AIM, Is. until 3h. I'm
$685., and at 5h. Ism. 30s., p. IN. she again
left the track to get her supper. Hard
ing meanwhile kept steadily at work. and
at 5h. 2lm. Is. p. m. had made
twenty five miles, or just half his task
the total walking being 3h
39m. 2Os. Lola came
back to the starting point at Oh. 40m. 20s
P. NJ. and at III. lem. IS. P. M. she hac
finished twenty miles. Harding finished
his thirtieth mile at Oh. Som. Us, hav
ing rested for dinner from 5h. AIM. IS. t
8h. 3m. BIS. The thirty-nine miles wa
completed at III. 48m. AS, the mile be
ing made in lin. As. The band STRUCK
up lively tune and Harding spun arount
the track at a terrific gait. little Lola ais
making good time. Lola's twentieth mil
was completed at III. lem. S., ant
twenty fifth at 8h. 55m. 34s. Harding
finished his fortieth mile at 8h. 43m. 54s
and the forty-fifth at Oh. Som. lbs. A
the beginning Of the forty-ffth ne stop
ped ION. for supper. Lola walked vel
during the show, striking at turns five
mile gait. Lola finished her thirtietl
mile at lob. 37m. p. M, and Harding hi
fiftieth at lCh. 55m. SIS. p. m, the lift
being completed in an actual walking
time of Oh. 38m. AS.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
AS a. Binder.

The machine binds with No. 20 annealed
wire (about same size as broom w're.) 1t will
bind all the machiue can cut in the heaviest
grain. There is much less waste Of grain when
It is bound with this Binder than is usual IN
hand binding. The grain is bound much bet
ter than is usually done by hand, and the bum
dies hardly ever come apart il handling The
bundles are made large Or small THE DIR :
YER OPERATES THE WHOLE 11A-
CHINE. With it one man does the rork Of
Zoe or siz. Cost OF wire is bu. little more
than the cost of boarding hands
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

NJ. KEEPER, one of the oldest citizens
Of St. Charles, died there Monday. Mr..
Keeper went 70 St. Charles twenty years
400 to take charge of the Methodist mis-
sionary work, and at the time Of his
death was Is years Of age.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
Turntp Machine.

An old Scotch farmer who was exceed.
ingly fond of lessening the labor on his
farm. happened to enter chemists shop
one day on some business. He found the
man Of drugs busily employed cleaning
galvanic battery. The farmer looked on
for some time at the operations of the
chemist, and being reused by curiosity,
he addressed the shopman:
"What kind o machine dae ye ca
that, master
son. replied the chemist, "this is
new machine for sowing turnips.'
For saving neeps!" cried the aston
ished son of toll. ''Hoo dist work p
<'Take hold Of the handles,'' said the
chemist.
The farmer soon complied, being now
all eagerness to understand all about the
new machine. No sooner had he laid
hold of the handles than the chemist set
the thing in motion. Soo2 he had the
satisfaction of seeing the worthy farmer
dancing and bowling in the most dreadful
manner.
"Throw the handles on the counter, -
said the chemist.
This the farmer found impossible to do.
At length, looking imploringly in the
face Of the chemist, he cried:
''Woa woa! man, it is perfect murder
handlin' that thing
The chemist then stopped the current
Of electricity. As soon as the farmer
was released, he rushed from the shop
shouting:
EGGS, I'll stick to the auld fashioned
barrow yet"
A Schoolmaster Around Loose.
Detroit Free Press.1
Four or five days ago man about 40
years of age, looking as if he had been
drawn over dusty floor for an hour OF
! two, called upon one Of the members Of
the Board of Education and introduced
| himself as William Cannon Harrison, Of
Saginaw county. He was politely re-
ceived, and commenced business promptly
by saying:
"1'm a:looking for situation as q
school teacher
''Ah, ha - replied the member, won.
dering shy the man wasn't l oking for a
woodpile.
II could have brought pile of recon-
mends SO high" continued tn, man
measuring with his hands, "but recon-
mends don't amount to nothing
''And have you any school in view 2
asked the member.
"Iwant to get in here, in Detroit re
piled the man. "What wages do yor
pay!'
:l'm afraid-'' began the member
when the schoolmaster interrupted:
ooh! we'll, I s'pose you pay going
wages, and that's all I can ask for.
don't want to put on style and live high
as I'm getting leetle old aud ought t.
save money"
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

M|N|C $: S.: Pau! :"' st:iar aer Piano:
payments. Accordeons from IS t. $15. Bes'
Italian Strings, Sheet Music, e. Orders to
Re GENT c. O. D. promptly filed. 100 l91
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
RADICAL AND RIGHT I
The Liberty Blade,

a large 4s:column Monthly, is devoted prin
clPaly to the political side Of the Temperance
Question. 1t contains the present liquo,
Laws OF minnesota, gives statistics on adulter-
alton ofNquors, and 1avors compulsory voting:
and giving the ballot to single women. I'll
now publishing, as serial, T.. s. Arthur's eel
ebrated Crusade story,
"WOMAN TO THE RESCUE,
Sold by agents for $1.25. It gives in full q
proposed enactme mt makingit
UNLAWFUL TO SELL OR DRINK
Intoxicating liquors without license, and ad-
vocates the formation of an ANri-lIoUcR PAR
~ to enforce Anti-Liquor laws.
Terms One copy one year, postpaid, 81 90;
SIX months, 60 cents; single copy, 10 cents.
CLUB RATES by special arrangements we
are enabled to furnish the BLADE and Chicago
Weekly Inter- Ocean one year for $500; the
BLADE and st. Paul Weekly Dispatch ono
year for 81 90; the BLADE and St. Paul Week
y Pioneer one year for 1925: the BLADE and
St Paul Weekly Press one year for s2.25; III
postpaid. Address
THE LIBERTY BLADE,
St. Paul, Mimi
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
TESTIMONIALS.

A few extracts fronts repo1 and letters are
given:
the grain was short on the other side the
grain was heavy, and on one end it was badly
lodged, but the machine worked equally well
in all these conditions of grain. The binding
was we'll done and much cleaner than is usually
done when bound by hand.
ssThe machine was operated for some time,
till the committee, as well IS all spectators, OF
which there were q large number, were salts
fed.
'sThis machine is, in our opinion, an I'M
qualified success; and in this opinion all who
saw the machine operate, agreed, so far as we
were able to learn, and there were many prom
inent and substantial farmers present at the
trial. ARA BARTON,
'tPresident State Agricultural Society.
ssEDWARD C. BULLIS."
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
GREEN LAKE. MINI. NV On 1877

GREEN LAKE, Minn., Nov. 90, 1874.
No machine could possibly work better than
the Walter A. Wood Harvester bought from
tou last season. Its draft is very easy, it is
we'll and substantially made, and its cutting is
very superior. It binds much better than is
commonly done by hand, and does not hesi-
tate to seize the grain, 10 matter what its con-
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
SEEDS! SEEDS {!

Never use Eastern seeds found at stores,
when you can have better quality, tor Less
money, of first class, Northern grown Garden,
Field, and fine imported French aud German
Flower Seeds, sent by mail, postage paid.
Fine new Clover and Timothy SeM Write
for Descriptive Price List.
b. W. Woodvllle Il Co., Nvrthfield,
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
am happy to say it has done all for me anv
reasonable man could ask tor
O. II. CHAMBERLAIN.
Vermillion, Dakota County, MINI.

that they had never seen Harvester of easier
draft, or one that made cleaner work. hardly
a single straw being left on the ground after
cutting. The Self-Binder also worked to ner-
lection, never in a single instance falling to
perform its work. JOHN SWANSON.
Manager Becker Farm,
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

No other kind of Harvester wilr he so1d :,
my neighborhood next year.
ANDREW BAILOW.
Town of Bath, Freedom County.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

Send for Circulars containing dravinps
and fuller particulars, with host Of testimo5s
ials from leading farmers in the Northwest.
The machine is NO EXPERIMENT. Il h.s
been fully tested and is fully warranted.
The VAL Ter A. WOOD Self Rake Rea..
er and Iron Alo,0er arc manufactured in erec :.
er numbers than cuer before.
Sample machines may be seen at the v.r;ors
local agencies, and at
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

KAND1yoHl STATION, MIMI, Nov. %, 1874.
No machine can possibly work better than
it does. 1t is well made and very easily man
aged. It is particularly good in lodged OK
short grain, as the cutter can be tilted SO close
to the ground. OLE II. RKDAHL
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
dit n is or how many thistlts or thorns there
may be in it. WIN. WHITNEY.

dit n is or how many thistlts or thcsns there
may be in it. WIN. WHITNEY.
KAND1yoHl STATION, Mimi, Nov. %, 1874.
No machine can possibly work better than
it does. It is well made and very easily man
short grain, as the cutter can be tilted so close
to the ground. OLE II. RKDAHL.
NEw LONDON, Nov 20, 1874.
1t will cut lodged grain bitter than any Haz-
vester have seen. saw the Binder work on
WINGED that the days of binding grain by hane
are fast drawing to close. It Is easy to see
that the Binder will pay for itself in = singh
season. SAMUEL ADAMS.
Wn1xAR, Nov. 26, 1874.
It is very pleasant feature of the trade in
right up and give their orders. We have no
objection to the wire unless it is from agents
for other machines
SHEER & LARSON.
FARM1SGroN, MIMI, Nov. Is, 1874.
When one man and team can cut and bind'
good shape, 10 to IL acres per day, as he
certainly can with this machine, the farmer
has no good reason to complain Of the cost of
harvesting grain. w. A. HAM
There was but one opinion among al who
saw the machine operate. ALI were agreed
'A~' ~ 40 ''0' ~ DANIEL UNDERWOOD.
Pennington, MINI.
The wire gave no trouble in t!1reshing wheat
ever. There was not bundle came loose in
stacking. GEO. 4. WILBOUR.
Austin, MINI.
crate a common reaper will ha-" no difficulty
in running one of these. WIN. COWAN,
Austin, Mimi.
| The Harvester bought from YOU far ex
ceeds my expectations lean cut right down
to the ground will it; it elevates splendidiy,
which can be alta he'd to it, has been working
in my field, and it does surprisingly GOOD
work, and the draft is not greater than the or.
binary reaper. %. s. WOODRUFF
! Near st. Paul.
am happy to say, it has done all for me any
reasonable man could ask tor.
{ n. CHAMBERLAIN.
Vermillion, Dakota County, MINI.
1t was the undivided opinion of all present
] that they had never seen Harvester of easier
draft, or one that made cleaner work. hardly
! single straw being left on the ground after
| cutting. The Self-Binder also worked to per-
lection, never in single instance failing to
perform its work. JOHN SWANSON.
Manager Becker Farm.
No other kind of Harvester will be sold IN
my neighborhood next year.
ANDREW BAILOW.
Town of Bath, Freedom County.
Send for Circulars containing drawinps
and fuller particulars, with host Of testimoH-
iais from leading farmers in the Northwest
The machine is NO EXPERIMENT.. has
been fully tested and is fully warranted.
The WALiER A. WO6D Self RAKE Rea..
er and iron Aoaoer are n,anHfact.rcd in erec
er numbers than euer before.
Sample machines may be seen at the yariovs
| local agencies, and at
No. ~ Sibley Street, st. Paul.
Johnson, Fuller & Co
General Agents for Minnesota and Northwest
! Wisconsin.
Also Agents for McSherry Seeder and Dill,
Beloit Pl0w, Buffalo Pitts Thresher. and have
a general assortment of the best makes Of far,n
machinery. 70 '"@''
0DIvoenH0 of all kinds manutactn,ed
onuSncS II q k sss:ai: b. p Ss.
Cash paid for bristles and horse hair.
AMES BROWNELL, Manufacturer ~
Looking Glasses, Picture Frnwea
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
to" G1I0 OxNO u1a1t0l
no. f.. Third-*t, st. Paul, MiL.
Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
DRY GOODS,

Notions, Hosiery, Trimmings, &C., Ketl the
largest stock and sell cheaper than any mouse
in the city. Goods sent on orders by Express,
G. o. D., to any part o. Ghe country, and sat
isfaction guaranteed. Agents for Eutterick' s
Celebrated Patterns. Sendfor catalogue. 1911 100
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
N~' 1S S1~1ey St1eets 81 Paul.
Johnson, Fuller & Co

General Agents for Minnesota and Northwest
Wisconsin.
Also Agents for McSherry Seeder and Dr;n
Beloit Plow, Buffalo Pitts Thresher, and have
general assortment of the best makes of far,.
machinery. " '"@ l"
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06
SHEER & LARSON.

FARM1xGToN, MIMI, Nov. Is, 1874.
When one man and team can cut and binds
good shape, 10 to 10 acres per day, as he
certainly can with this machine, the farmer
has no good reason to complain of the cost OF
harvesting grain. w. A. HAM
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

The Harvester bought from you far ex
ceeds my expectations 1 can cut right down
to the ground will it; it elevates splendidiy,
and the draft is easy. The Locke Self. Binder,
which can be alta :hed to it, has been working
in my field, and it does SURPRISINGLY GOOD
work, and the draft is not greater than the a.
binary reaper. %. 8. WOODRUFF
Near st, Paul.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-04-06

drove it myself, and any one who can op-
crate common reaper will ha~" no difficulty
in running one of these. WIN. COWAN,
Austin, MINI.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-11-04
The Dec0y Trunk.

A NEW device to facilitate robberies at
railway depots has lately been success
fully practiced on the public. Some in
genious person it appears has hit upon
a way by which a trunk can be made
to steal another trunk and a portmanteau
to annex to its fellow. In the adventures
of Sinbad the Sailor we are told how the
merchants got at the precious stones in
the valley of diamonds. The merchants
threw down pieces of meat, which fell on
and absorbed the diamonds; the eagles
swooped on the pieces of meat and flew
with them to the upper air; the merchants
shot the eagles with arrows and thus cot
at the meat, the eagles and the Jewels.
SO we read the plunderers at the railway
depots lay trunk artfully contrived on a
smaller trunk; the latter clings to the
former and the owner of the larger carries
both away. The decoy trunk is said to
be fitted with a false bottom which goes
up when it is laid on a smaller trunk, and
with mechanism inside which does for the
innocent trunk what POlonius recon-
mended to Laertes to do for his friend,
and grapples it to its heart with hooks of
steel. In fact the decoy trunk-we do
not know how better to describe it's
made to perform an Office like that of
certain flowers which suddenly close at
the pressure of a fly or other insect with
in their cup and imprison it there. 1t
would be well if the ingenuity of detect
ives kept pace with the progress in in
genious contrivances to perpetrate robber-
les at the depots, where they are increas-
ing so fast and have become such an evil
of late. 1t is certain, however, that the
dodge of the trunk will not explain all
these robberies. In some cases valuable
articles have been taken out and articles
of the same bulk but less valuable put
in. This sort of jugglery does not look
like the business of the ingenious trunk.
This trunk, in fact means open robbery
but there goes on a good deal Of pilfering
which must be done by a less accom-
plished class Of offenders.