The Canton mail. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 18??-1882, 1875-05-01
Notices N local column
,er line for each insertion
SAYINGS AND DOINGS.
BRAIN TmsUE.-

Nor cares a penny's toss for u.s.
But rails at beef with "Pooh !" and Pish
~ And calls for cod and other fish,
" | Hoping to gain-his dearest wish
1.-THE mean amount of phosphorus"
Oh that he'd change his boarding place
'Twould surely be no loss for us
: But there's one consolation yet,
! His star, ascendant, soon will set;
Some time he'll die, and then he'll get
His "mean amount Of phosphorus"
IL A KNoCKER-UP and window-tickle
! from three to sever" advertises that b.
will wake London people cheap.
MARX TWAIN denies that bis Gildet
Age was q failure. He says it gave I
poor, worthy bookbinder job.
ANOTHER half million of Tweed
property has been attached in West
chester county, New York.
THE latest eastern slang with which
to come down on a long-tongued bore
is: "Write the rest down on a piece
of paper, and wen read it Sunday"
ONE young man who resolved at the
beginning of the new year not to smoke
| any more cigars bought his second box
of clay pipes yesterday. He says he
will stick to his promise il it takes every
clay pipe in town. Be brave, young
man, and hold on!
DRY times in Michigan. The artesian
| we'll at Arian has reached q depth of
LOCO feet, and there is still no water.
Only the fact that the well at Fort
Wayne, Ind, is 1900 feet deeper and
| just as dry keeps the originators of the
Michigan enterprise from seeking the
seclusion offered by the farthest west.
WHAT shall be done with an Indian
who kills another Indian, there being
no law for the punishment of that
crime. is a painful inquiry made by the
Christian commission. The New York
Herald answers, "Give him a gun, O
quart Of whisky, a string of beads,
and S."
THE New York saloons pay half mill
lion dollars year TO the city, and take
in fifty.one millions in the same time.
The city officials and the grave-diggerg
wear good clothes and smile sarcastic
cally when the strides of Temperance
are referred to in their presence.
APRoPos to the notion of putting
clocks in all the principal streets Of
Paris, all combined electrically to give
a uniform hour, the Figaro says ''This
is the last work of progress, and Paris,
as usual, is in advance of all cities"
But Brussels had this piece of progress
ten years ago, and copied it from old
fashioned Client.
TEE women of a Colorado town got
up suffrage meeting the other day, no
men being admitted. No business of
importance was transacted, however,
because some invisible miscreant let
down a live rat through the skylight,
and, amid shrieks and screams, the as
semblage suddenly adjourned.
A MARATndE novelty has arrived In
New York in the shape of a steamer Of
1880 tons from Gothenburg, in Sweden,
called the Bjfrost (Rainbow). She is
built of the best Swedish charcoal-made
iron, and the ribs and beams are steel.
Her furnaces only consume fifteen tons
Of coal day. She is brig rugged with
five bulkheads and two decks.
M. LoRaER11, of the French Assem-
bly,, has excited the French apotheca-
ries. He says they sell for twenty-five
cents q medicine which costs them
about q cent and half but they say
the medicine costs them at least twice
as much, that is three cents, and they
seem to consider it an outrage that any
one should thus question their right to
q profit of 300 per cent.
TIE removal of foreign substances
from the ear may be often accomplish
ed by doubling a horses hair in the
form of loop, and, placing the patient
upon the side, passing the loop into the
ear as far as it will go, then turning it
gently. The substance will generally
come out in the loop after one or two
Withdrawals. The application will do
no damage if the hair be carefully used.
Two Thousand years from this year,
when the compiler of ancient poetry
stumbles upon these mysterious lines,
which are now going the Newspaper
rounds, he will wonder what they could
possibly have meant:
held hand ct draw"
And thinking it worth while,
blinded" half my pile;
And with triumphant smile,
He "saw."
drew one card-'twas red;
The other four were spades.
Straightway that fellow wades
For me with three old maids
Nun ced."
ssR1oH blue velvet with garniture of
the finest Russian sable, satin petticoat
trimmed with bands of diamonds and
large diamond tassels, and trains Of
velvet" That was what the duchess Of
Edinburgh wore at q royal drawing
room in which she made her finest APP
pearance. Note the use of the terms
ssbands of diamonds" and ''large dia-
mond tassels," and then imagine the
magnifcence Of the display.
An Indianapolis detective, being
sworn, deposes and says: "Pearl
ohinned me to fake this house- work; this
was not at the Sheenys. He told me
to cheese it on the Sheeny, as he had
given him away. / then asked him
what kick-up he and the Sheeny had,
as my mob had split on me and left me
without fnneff" What q great Cali
fornia poet that man would be if he
had a chance.
THE bonds of the Suez canal COM
pany are on the London stock exchange,
with a statement of the financial condi-
ton of the company. During 1873 the
receipts were 81, 900, 900, and the ex-
penses E225, 900. The dividend of that
year was three and three-quarters per
cent. The cost of the canal WAS $95.
600, 600, of which the Egyptian govern
ment paid 49,, 900, 900. The business of
the canal is constantly increasing, and
far-sighted people use its success as an
argument for the building of q ship
G nal across the isthmus of Panama.
The indianapolis Herald has been
watching the Ohio temperance move
ment longer than any other paper, and
it says: In Washington, Ohio, where
the whisky crusade first took shape,
there are now fifteen drinking houses
two more than when the movement was
organized. The paroled barkeeperg are
ali selling again except the famous Van
Pelt, the noble proselyte, who knocked
ia his own kegs one evening, to the
ringing Of bells and the praises Of
women, and then took the field for tenn
perance. He is in Jail for getting
drunk.
THE CLEVER BoNAPARTIsrs.-AP Paris
correspondent writes: The BonaPart-
lists cleverly selected the 18th OF Au-
gust, a fete for French Catholics. as the
fete of the Napoleons. The churches
are then filed. and all France has the