, 1875-01-24
What Becomes Of Our Gar
ments :?
0ur Haudkerthiefs-This Weck TIE Sec
Them, and Ne1t Week No Non't.
Laundry Larcenies.

one Of the elect The bachelors indifference to
the ninutie Of his weekly waehiug-bllls enaoies
him to live in tue serenity OF Ignorance. Lie
bitches bis soiled linen iuto closet. stoEs on bis
vay down town ut tue first faundrv-sign which
meets his eye, leaves his address, and the cham
befnaaid bundles Lis clothes together when they
are tent for. He pays tie bill without = mur-
mur, tears open the bundle when there are q"
more clean collars in bis bureau, and has ou'y 3
hazy nisriying Ut the increasing scarcity OF his
haudkctchiefs, and = vague wondernent as to
tho VARYING eize OF hiB collars. and tho
n,ismatching OF his socks. However, there are
moro OF all those articles at the store. and ho
goes ouk and rep!enisles his warirobe, and
thinks no moro Of the matter. This meth'd OF
conducting business between tho laundry and
himself, during bis bachelo,hood seems so sim-
ple aud rnobiectlonabe that tho complicated
machinery by which the newly-marEied wife
seeks 10 keep track OF their wearing apparel is to
him more a matter Of wonder than admlratlon-
he prases Ler with his iEs, extolllns her pru-
deuce aud order; but, in the depths OF his unre-
generate heart, he thinks she takes vast amount
OF trouble TO ascertain that their average loss Is
really about three Eieces q week. "After al,
be reasons, "when you find ous what Is miss
ing, ........
WHAT CAN YoU DO ABOUT IT T1'
The fact is, as matters now Stand, you ire II
the mercy Of tho 1aundries. They bring home
your weekly bundle, sud, If you dou't pay the
bill, they won't Leave your clothes. You gen-
orally Cad, on opening he'p1rcel, that tho lhun-
dry has kept bacl, pieces enough to pay tho bill,
and, II sou have alreadE paid it at the door, you
wall never GET your missing articles 80, VI NO
evils, it ouly remains to choose the least, l. e.,
pay your washing bill. and recover moaicum
ot your clothing. I suppose, in tlls matter.
auyLod5's experience is eyersbody's. The begio-
ming OF the washing war is often &C.
couipanied BY incidental bewllaerments. Tho
husband takes up = slightly. worn collar
from the bureau, and finds it too small
for him. He looks at it, and hrds it
marked Smith, or Brown, OF Jones. " Whose
collars this ~ ..hine. 1just took it Of" Is
the wife's unsuspecting ans "er. lis this your
(" TLeo. Of course, tile wife is 4stonlshed,
and the blame ID LAID whe1e it belongs.-op the
laundry. The husband acquiesces. but all the
same he wahes xcneu wouiu hot ape tia gen.
tenan's dreBs-styles. and he has + dlstluc. I'M
p1ess,ou that it isn't very pleasant to mud your
,i1e earring souae other usan's colaia. Another
dav. the wite discovers. ,nysteriousiy introduced
mo the family possassions, lads handker-
chef marked with some unfamiliar femlu.ne ar-
polla,,on. The question is. How dtd that
handkerchief come into the bouse3" l appeal
to auyludv II II is very pleasant for man to be
asked suddenly, aud without any appa1eus rea-
son, if he knows anybody bv the nanae Of Cath
arine Smith, or Mary Jane Brown Fortunately,
these little difficulties are SON merged in the
grand weekly wardrobe difficulty Ut
RENOVATION WITHOUT RoBBERY.
Generally the family record rllnB something
like tals:
LAUNDRY no. /.
First TNeek-Lots, one silk handkerchief, pre-
seuted to husband rs mark OF gratitude by
poor woman whose son be had betneuded.
I aurirr. DrurntEal - TO look" he
Looked ID vain.
Second l}tek-hlissing, ono pair gentleman's
cuffs-new. Also, one lad. - hemst!rched laud-
kerchief. The laundfy-man promised Ito see
Third Week-Two good handkercl.efs miss
Ing auo replaced By tHo old, coarae rags Lauli-
dry-msn "couidut understand IL; would inquire
ut the laundry"
stand such constant drain ulou the small ard-
cles Of d,ess, the patronage is transferred to
LAUNDRY NO. :.
First Week-Missing one gentleman'a collar,
replaced By one from some otner gentlenau's
btoIo. No satisfaction, and collar too small for
Second Week-Lost irrovocnbly the husbands
best handkerchief, birthday gilt, and the FIRST
present from his future vile. NasMng-biH,
81. so; value OF handkerchief, 50.
Third IIeek-Ilssng, Que new pair OF lady'e
hose; one lady's embroidered handkerchief No
recovery.
Connection severed with that Aaelstrom Of
| small ARTICLES
This laundry is entitled *' The Discovery Laun-
dry" aud the appositeness Of tie title is proved
in many WAYS. 10 begiu with, the answer 70 tue
conuudrum, "Why DlscoveEy7" would appear
to be- tecause something was always discovered
to be mlssiug. Bat then, uGatn, tie fact that 1t
always Renamed missing would lEvaLdase snar
answer. The most reasonable solution Of its
name seemed to be, that this laundry had q curl
GUS way OF resu1uiug its PACKAGES, couveylng
tnem sarIeptitlously into the house at late
honr Saturday night, and derosil1ng them 10
such unexpected places that their receipt MSS iu-
deed DiBcovery. Sometimes the has-rack
was the receptacle; sometimes the new
el-post; sometimes Htchen-chalr; and
it even happens that, at II O'CLOCK SATURDAY
! night, tue wife sometimes hears aerVaut on the
/ vay 10 tue attic bedroom depoaltnE bundles at
| tho different doors, and not unfTequently the
| sleepy-eyed se1vant gets the packages mixed,
aud wh1la the bachelor IN the eccond-story hall
bedroom is raging over Lis deprivation OF tne IN
clean Sunday shirt, the littie schoonnisti ess on
| the third floor is making up her mind to stay At
| Lo,ne for want OF pair Of clean cu1s, and
bushes to tho tips OF her ears at finding parcel
addressed to gentleman lett at her door.
| 4 week or 50 Of this hit-ot-uiss WORK leads up
| to
| LAUNDRY no. 1.
| Here tho handkerchief-robbing develops into
| gigantic proportions.
! Last Week--Ihe list sent with the original
| bundle called for Twelve haudkerchies- The
| number twelyo is coolly crossed out, and ten
marked over it. or the tan handke.chiefs re-
t turned, one is miserable, ragged specimen.
! mar6ed in one corner With q black desl gu,-s
| 1nay be . a'cart-wheel-it may be start may ha
cu,tle-tish. It il sort Of bottle-imp Of +
| handkerchief, too /; for, being sent back to the
| laundry with note, the note il nsver answered
| or heard FROM more. but tho handkerchief comes
| back the next week in lieu OF q better one, and
with the middle more dilapldased aud the des1. u
more euigmatlcal than eyer. Probably this
| handkerchief is stock one, keot to fill the COM
plement Of the different packages, and cover at-
stractiona therefrom.
Third Weck-Alatters having reached q
crisis, the husband is deputed to represent to
the finty-hearted neutrality-suspicious. that fami-
| lies Of limited means cannot 60 on forever pay
| ing them on an average 50 week, and present
ing them, in addition, With weakly mementoes OF
one or more handkerchiefs, varying in pr1ce
from so to IS cents. Well they brush the has-
bands e1postuiations ono side Like cobwebs. He
| doesn't know ANYTHING about the washing bills,
and thoy know it. Then the wife goes down,
armed with all tie past bills, and they try to