Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-09-18
Bill and the Widow.

"Wife, ,"said Ed. Wilbur one morn
ing as he sat stirring his coffee with one
hand and holding plum-cake on his
knee with the other and looking across
the table into the bright eyes of his lit
tie wife, " wouldn't it be good joke
to get bachelor Bill Smiley to take the
widow Watson to Barnum's Show next
week ?" i,a..
'You can't do it, Ed; he won't ask
her, he's 80 awful shy. Why, he came
by here the other morning when / was
hanging out the clothes, and he looked
over the fence and spoke, but when !
shook out q nightgown he blushed like
q girl and went away"
"I think I can manage it," said Ed. /;
"but I'll have to lie just q little.
But then it wouldn't be much harm
under the circumstances, for / know
she likes him, and he don't dislike her.
but just as you say He's SO shy. I'll
go over to his place to borrow some
bngs of him, and if I don't bag him be-
fore I come back don't kiss me for q
week, Nelly - ''' ''.
So saying, Ed started, and while he
is moving the fields we will take look
at Bill Smiley. He was rather q good
looking fellow, though his hair and
wbiskers showed some gray hairs, and
he had got in set of false teeth. But
every one said he was good soul, and
so he was. He had as good hundred
acre farm as any in Norwich, with a
new house and everything comfortable,
and if he wanted wife, many girl
would have jumped at the chance like
a rooster on grasshopper. But Bill
was so bashful-always was--and when
Susan Sherrybottle, whom he was SO
sweet on, though he never said boo"
to her, got married to old Watson, he
just drew his head in like a mud turtle
into his shell, and there was no getting
him out again, though it had been
noticed that since Susan had become a
widow, he paid more attention to his
clothes, and had been very regular in
his attendeuce at the church the fair
widow attended.
But here comes Ed. Wilbur.
" Good morning, Mr. Smiley"
Good morning, Mr.. Wilbur; what's
the news your way?' ..-.....,t ...
"Oh, nothing particular that know
Of" said Ed, "only Barnum's Show
is what everybody is talking about,
and everybody and his girl are going to.
l was over to old Sockrider's last night,
and L see his son Gus has got q new
buggy, and was scrubbing up his har-
ness, and he's got that white-faced colt
of his as slick as seal. l under
stand he thinks of taking Widow Wat
son to the show. He's been hanging
around there good deal of late, but
I'd just like to cut him out, I would.
Susan is nice little woman, and de-
serves O better man than that young
pup of a fellow, though / would not
blame her much either if she takes him,
for she must be dreadfully lonesome,
and then she has to let her farm out on
shares, and it isn't half worked and no
one else seems to have the spunk to
! speak un to her. By iingol. nif I+s:scc
a single 1ihiiah5S I'd show You trick or
two" ..-:... =, .........
So saying, Ed. borrowed tho bags and
started around the corner of the barn,
where he had left Bill sweeping, and
put his ear to a knot hole and listened,
&knowine the bachelor had habit of
talking to himself when anything wor-
ried him. pr sRF '''>'''' s.'' q
Confound that young Sockriderl"
said Bill, :" what business has he there,
ia like to know9! Got . new buggy,
has he? Well, SO have I, and new
harness, too, and his horse can't get a
sight of mine; and I declare I've half a
mind. to--yes, will! I'll GO this very
night, and ask her to go to the show
with me. I'll show Ed. Wilbur that
ain't such calf as lie thinks am, II I
did let old Watson get the start of mo
in the first placep',4 ss.3 e..,i 4Ycb 9r
Ed. could scare help laughing out
right, but he hastily hitched the bags
ON his shoulder, and with a low chuck
le at his success, started home to tell
| the news to Nelly; and at about 8 O clock
that evening they saw Bill go by with
| his horse and buggy, on his way to the
widows. He logged along quietly,
thinking oflthe old singing school days
and what O. pretty girl Susan was
then, and wondering inwardly if he
would have more courage now to talk
l to her-until, at distance of about a
mile from her house., he came to O
bridge, he gave tremendous sneeze
and blew his teeth out Of his mouth,
and clear over the dashboard, and 'strik-
| ing on the planks they rolled over the
side OF the bridge and dropped, into
four feet OF water. ,.f - ..f
r. Words can not do justice to poor
Bill, or paint the expression Of his face
as eisisat there---completely dumb
founded at his startling piece Of ill
1 luck. After while he stepped out Of
his buggy, and getting down on his
hands and knees, looked over into the
!, water. Yes, there they were, at the
bottom with crowd Of little fishes
| rubbing their noses against them, and
! Bill wished to'goodness that his nose
/ was 40 close for one aecon1 a, His hsnu.