The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1875-09-22

fashionable Partisan faubourg. The
son of wealthy nobleman became
enamored of his fathers concierge,
(door porter, and determined to mar
ry. The aristocratic papa opposed,
but moved at last by the despair of
his son, gave his consent, with the pro.
viso that the smitten youth should go
to sea for twelve months before the
marriage. Shortly after his depart
u-e, the father, who had previously
observed an embonpoint in the young
intended, took her under his especial
charge, gave her the most nourishiug
and succulont food and wines, forbade
her to take exercise as unbecoming in
his future daughter, and in fact, stall.
fed her to such an extent that when
the engaged swain returned from his
years voyage, he was horrifed to End,
instead of the slender, elegant girl he
left, an immensely fat woman, as big
as two Albions rolled into one. Of
course the ruse was successful, and the
unfortunate victim of gooI cheer has
been pensioned of.
Macready was one of those stage
geniuses who regarded it as a special
mark of genius to so thoroughly "iden-
tify himself with his part" as to lose
his own identity, and not only tear
passion to tatters, but the clothes of
those who were the victims of his
mimic rage. But he found his match
once in an actor who played Claudius
to "Macready's Virginius," The first
night Macready tore the actors ballet
shirt into shreds. The second night the
actor filled his shirt with pins, and
then calmly let the power of genius
manifest itself Macready began as
usual to lose his identity, but about
the time a dozen pins had penetrated
his cuticle as Virginius he began to
rage in real earnest as Macready, and
those who heard him, say his remarks
were totally unlike those which
Knowles put into the mouth of Vir.
ginius. He never lost his identity
with that actor again.
In one week of last month a firm
near New York received. orders for
445 miles of pencils. To make these
only $4,000 feet of cedar lumber are
required, and after they are made they
will load six freight cars. This i'm
mense consumption of lead pencils is
doubtless caused by the attempts of
women to sharpen them with pair
of scissors or a dull easel knife.
"What are you after, my dear ?"
said a grandmother to little boy who
was sliding along room and casting
furtive glances at a gentleman who
was paying visit. 81 am trying,
grandma, to steal papa's hat out of
the room without letting the gentle
man see it, he wants him to think he's
out"
There is village in New Hamp.
shire which has produced tIenty-six
editors, and it was in all1sion to this
circumstance that pious old deacon
there remarked: eyes, there are twen.
ty-six on 'em, but as they've all left
town, l reckon the Lord won't lay it
up agin u.s."
The fallacy of the statement that
animals prefer green food was abund-
antly shown at Chicago when hun
CRY horse bit large section out of
the Panama hat of succulent young
man who was sitting on the taffrail of
street car and did not harm hair of
the wearers' head.
Go to strangers for charity, to ac-
quaintances for advice, and to relatives
for nothing-and you will have a sup
ply. Every man has his weak side,
and it is very often the case that this
weak side is the best part Of the man.
When man goes to a quilting par
ty about tea time, and sits down on a
ball of wicking with darning nee
die in it, he will think of more things
connected with darning in minute
than he can mention in two hours.
An exchange says "the Sandwich
Islanders believe that Beelzebub walks
the earth in the form of a woman"
And now and then you find man in
this country who believes so too, aud
that he has married the woman.
A young manufactures of our ac-
quaintance is making money fast on
this motto, parodied from "Poor Rich
ard:" early to bed, and early to
rise; never get tight and advertise. "
81 would advise you to put your
head into dye tub, it's rather red"
said a joker to sandy haired girl. 81
would advise you to put yours into an
oven, it is rather soft" said Nancy.
"rhis is net gain," said a witty
WorcesteP pirl who finn vaIua hla
silk hair net hanging to the fringe OF
her shawl upon her return home from
an evening lecture.
Mrs. Keen, of Springfield, declined
IN allow har dauobtars - tol.o -.