The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1875-02-05
He Knew What He wanted.

The Cincinnati Enquirer tells the fol-
lowing: He came into the Office of q
| West End undertaken yesterday with a
look of great care on his honest face.
His eyes were heavy and slightly blood
shot, telling of nightly vigils and loss
of sleep. His hair was unkept and
shaggy. The soft-hearted man of cof-
fms looked upon his visitor with a gaze
full of pity and thankfulness-pity for
his customers loss and thankfulness for
his patronage. He was so young to be
burdened with the loss of dear one
by death.
The manufacturer OF burial cases
nodded a silent assent and condoling
recognition the young man from the
country said: "HoW d'ye?" Then
ensued a painful silence broken at
length by the man of grave business.
"Can I do anything for You to-day,
sir p
"WaIl I reckin' so, stranger I"
Another silence. Once more the un-
de,taker began by suggesting Your
sister %
Young man stared moment, then, as
light gradually broke upon his per
picked mind, he smiled a smile more
suggestive of sorrow than happiness,
and replied
"NO-my wife"
"Sudden ?''
No-expected su'thun' of the kind
for several months" "
When did it happen ?"
"'Bout o'clock this morning."
Clocks natural %
Rather" Spoken carefully, and
expressive of some doubt)
About what do you want the cost of
it to be?
"Don't care durnation for expenses;
git it up kinder nice. I'll treat her
handsum, cause she Is the first one I
ever had"
Every well, my friend; you'll have
it lined with white satin, suppose p
Jest as you say, stranger"
Siiver-headed screws, too, I sup
pose ?"
"Y-a-a-s, I s'pose so. An, stranger,
just put a bully top tot
"Oh, of course and you'll want a
glass In it, also, I suppose ?"
Ya-a-s-Oh certainly-you bet.
Git her up sniptious, you know, old
fellow. None of your drafted one
hoss fxins for me. No, Stree"
Just so. Silver handles, OF course?"
"Eh? What's that you say, stran-
ger-silver handles Oh durn it now,
won't that be pilin' it on too hefty like {?
/ kin stand silver screws and sich, but
theirs no use maxim the hull tarnation
trap of silver. The thing has to be
moved, and must have handles, but
amt quite so stuck mp as thet now-nOt
quite, stranger"
Very well, acquiesced the man of
obsequies. Til put ordinary handles
TO it, then ?"
"Egg actly-them's 'em, mister now
yer talkin'. Or'nary handles II do.
But, I say, stranger (refectively), make
the wheels glisten like thunder"
Wh-wh-Wh-eels / "
&c Vas, wheels. What's ther matter
with you, anyhow 2"
'' But vino eve rheard of wheels to a
coffin ?"
"Cofin |" shrieked the detected
looking young man. &c Coffin Now,
who in the dickens said anythikg about
coffins ?"
Why, don't you want cofin?"
Ne-o darn your coffin! I want a
cradle-a trap to rock my new baby in
"And isn't your wife dead ?"
" Not by iuRful. Don't you make
cradles for sale }"
No, my friend, I am an undertaken. I"
Undertaken of what ?"
60 make coffins."
"Oh, Lord, let me ketch the feIIer
that sent me here
And the grief-stricken youth cram
med his hat over his eyes, ran his hands
deep down IN the pockets of his trous-
erloOns, and pounced out on the street
searching for vengeance.