davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
"BLAMED MERNOPERLYu

An honest old granger. says the Allan
ia, ia, Constitution, approached the
attable young man who adorns the gen.
eral delivery window Of the po;tofice
yesterday, and asked
rs there any letters for the Griggses
here g
The young man shuffied throug III ''G's"
deck and said:
"No, SIR
''Any for the Stebbinses?''
The young man counted the 49, deck
and said:
"No, SIR
swell, any for the Bunces g. and the
old mar put Oh his specks to see for
himself.
The young man famed the ''B's'' out
aud again said:
"Eo, sir
''Then dang it, young man, is there
any letters for the Middlebrookses Q"
and the old man emptied some peanut
shells out Of his pocket to make room for
the letters.
The young man slung the ''M's'' faste1
than a tramp printer in country news.
paper shop, and YEARLY said:
''No sir
"Then, who in thunder is all them thar
letters and pigeon-holes fur, anyhow, bv
gum g ripped out the indignant old
man; and before the young man had
time to reply, the old granger was shut:
fling down the street, swearing that :'thjs,
there pestotfis is blamed mernoperly
Ike everything else these days!!''
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
Il STITCH IN TIME.

Two hard wood slaves from an old bar
rell, screwed upon block of wood, make
very fair pair Of clamps for holding
leather, while stitching. The top ends
should be cut, so that they will meet
squarely, and the block beveled, so that
the pressure together at the top will be
hard. Do not attempt to nail the slaves
to the block, for they do not hold as we'll
as when. Screwed, and are very liable to
split the pieces. By getting shoe
maker or harness-maker to instruct in the
making of waxed-ends, the farmer, or
farmers boys can keep the harness in
good rig at all times, and the work NAV
be done in good shape, as the old stitches
make a guide. Use needles instead of
bristles, and do the work by the kitchen
stove, on rainy days and evenings, when
there is no particular hurry. "A stitch
in time saves nine" applies nowhereb et-
ter than to the harness, and if conven-
fences are such as not to enable one to do
repairing at home, neglect follows, and
expenses accumulate.-Ohio Farmer.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
BETTER THAN NOTHING.

A good old Methodist lady, very par
ticular and very pious, once kept a board
ing house in Boston. Staunch to her
principles, she would take no one to board
who did not hold to the eternal punish
ment Of a large portion Of the race. But
the people were more intent on carnal
comforts than spiritual health, so that in
time her house became empty, much to
her grief and alarm. '<1-.''-
After some time bluff old sea captain
knocked at the door, and the old lady
answered the call.
'tServant. ma am. Can you give me
board for two or three dayg2 Got MY
ship here, and ehall be OF soon as
load"
.'Wa-al, don't know said the old
lady.
"Oh, house full, Ell! :"
s'No, but
"But what, ma'am?''
Il don't take any unclean or carnal
people in my house. What do you be.
lieve?'
"About what g
"Why, do you believe that any one
will be condemned?''
:.'Oh, thunder! yes.''' - n''s, rs j..
DO you a. said the good woman,
Frightening up. well, how many souls
do you think will be in fire eternally?
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
TWITTING ON FACTS

Virginia City (Nev.) Chronicle.1
Last night Mr.. Joblink had Just hung
up his hat on the rack. and dressed up
his countenance in the amiable and some
what conclliatory smile with which he is
wont to greet the partner of his bosom,
when that lady appeared and pointed
sternly to the door. She said:
Leave this house,
"Matilda! -
Don't Matilda me. Co..
"Dear me-" whispered Joblink, rubbing
his bald head with violence. ''what in
Gods name have / done now?
''Done now, you brute! Look there?''
Joblink took the newspaper held out
and read:
'The English language is more spoken
than any other of the civilized tongues"
And on the margin opposite this limo.
cent statement Of fact appeared in Job
link handwriting the sentiment. :sToo
True.''
With groan the husband and father
departed. 1t was after midnight when
Joblink sneaked back and made up a bed
for himself on the lounge in the dining
room.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
Little Gold in the Black Hills.

Walter P. Jenny, the geologist with
the expedition exploring the Black Hills,
writes to the commissioner of Indian
affairs, under date of Rapid Creek,
Sept. 90:
81 have discovered gold in small GUAM
titles in the Bear Lodge mountains ahont
twenty miles east 0fLltt!e Missouri butte,
in the new portion of the Black Hills.
The field is limi.ed, in area not exceeding
fifty square miles, and is wholly in wv,
oming, being separated from the region
about Harney's Peak by the Red water
valley The gold is derived from the de-
composition Of Lodges Of feldsPar porphy-
No quartz is being found in the region
and the deposits as far as examined arc
gravel bars of limited area near the head
of mountain streams flowing in belts from
the river. l have nearly completed the
work of the survey, and expect to reach
Fort Laramie on my return about 1Octo.
Der 18th.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
IRREGULARITIES.

The good boy who goes home and teels
his mother how he rebuked his compan-
ion for robbing birds nests will perhaps
pass. the pantry twenty times that very
day-a.d still find it locked How igno-
rant parents are, and how little they un-
derstand their children,
''What kind of man is SQUIRE Sim.
monds, anyway e "Wel:. you'v seen
them snow storms along early in winter,
when there's good deal of wind and not
much sleighing? That's the sort he is
When a female barber was going to es.
tablish shop i'll Jersey City fourteen
solemn wives and mothers waited on her
and took her by the left ear, pointed to
the depot and gently whispered; 'sAway
wild ye!'' And she thought it best to 20
away.
What object do you now see asked
the doctor: The young man hesitated
for few moments, and then replied 1t
appears like jackass, doctor, but l
rather think it is your shadow
An Iowa farmer who has girls takes
each one in turn Sunday afternoon and
rubs their teeth with an onion, and
quietly remarks: "None of 'em ever had
beau a second time.''
1t will hardly be necessary to tell the
name Of the facetious party who went in
to a village dry goods store the other
day and was observed to oe looking about,
when the proprietor remarked to him that
they didn't keep whisky. ''It would
save you good many steps if you did,
was the stage-driver's quick reply
Berkshire Courier.
He was a ledger in an unpretentions
Brooklyn boarding house, and for several
days the landlady's daughter, senti.
mental maiden Of thirty-fve. had leased
him to write something in her album,
He at last consented, and penned the fol-
lowing: GAS the hostility to dogs d.
minishes, the quality of hash improves
An explanation was added in these words:
IL never could make rhymes. Miss Giles.
and when l write poetry have to ex.
press it in prose-
An Indiana man said to Bible Agent:
I'm Christian, but III be blamed if I
don't have to grit my teeth when the
Ohio river is on level with the top Of
my corn
The Easton Free Press says that
Joshua was the first man who ever
stopped newspaper. He stopped the
daily sun. We suppose he did so be-
cause the war news did not suit him.
81 lived with him nineteen years. saws
an Indiana applicant for divorce, sand all
the clothes he ever bought me was
bunch Of hair.pins and tooth. brush"
You can see by this what hard time
she hal to keep we'll dressed.
A little Idaho three.year. old fell into
we'll recently, where the water was only
six inches deep, and remained there six
hours before he was discovered. When
he was finally rescued his pent.up wrath
knew no bounds. Here is sample:
"Ycu fink I kin tay III we'll wifout nuf.
fin t. eat like fog! Fly wasn't no bet.
ter fadder'n mudder'n 'ou, Id do wifout
children -
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20

The best oil for making boot and har.
ness leather soft and pliable, is castor
oil.
Do not allow trees to grow over and
shade your dwelling. They are un'
healthy. - } a g. =
. On the contrary, vines and creepers on
the walls, protect them, and make a
house both warmer and dryer.
i: Keep your boots we'll oiled in winter,
and they will last longer, while your feet
will be both dryer and warmer.
White lead, ground in oil is an excel
lent application for saddle chafes or har-
ness or yoke gals, on horses or cattle.
Raw hide makes the best and most
durable belting~~for farm, or other mach
merry Put the hair side nextto the pull
ley.
A few drops of diluted carbolic acid in
kettle of glue, will keep it from spelling
for several days, in the warmest
weather.
Potatoes in Pits.-Bury only in a we'll
drained soil, sandy if possible If not,
cart some sand for the bottom. Do not
cover too deeply until the cold weather
arrives. The covering should consist Of
alternate layers Of straw and earth.
Autumn is the proper season to prepare
CRAFTS and cuttings. OF the latter, cut
tings Of grapes, currants, ounces, goose.
berries, poplar and many other plants,
taken off in fall and buried in the ground
all winter, will grow with facility in the
spring. Crafts should always be taken
off in the fall and kept in moist sand Or
sawdust till ready to use.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
CHOICE RECIPES.

Tapioca Pudding Without Milk or
Eggs.-Soak a tea-cup of taploca in one
and one-half pints of water over night.
Pare ana punch the cores from six apples,
fill the holes with sugar, havo with lem
on or nutmeg, and pour in one tea.cup Of
water. When baked soft, pour over the
tapioca, and bake all one hour. Eat with
sauce made Of butter and sugar stirred to
cream.
Poached Eggs with Fried Ham.-Fry
the ham, take clean frying or omelet-
pan, nearly fill it with boiling water, set
it over gentle fire, break the eggs sing.
ly into cup and slip each into boiling
water, cover the pan for four or five min
utes-when done take them up with
skimmmer on dish, sprinkle little
pepper and salt over, and small bit of
butter, and serve in dish or over the
ham.
Dreaded Tomatoes.-Cut off the tops of
twelve ripe tomatoes, scoop out the seeds,
set them in a pan with one gill of salad,
and fill them with the following prepare.
ton: One-half pint of mushrooms, one
handful of parsley. four shallots, two
ounces of fat bacon, and two ounces of
lean ham, all chopped fine. and seasoned
with little thyme, pepper, and salt
heat this mixture over the fire five min
utes, take it off and stir in the yolks of
four eggs; fill the tomatoes, cover them
we'll with Drowned bread crumbs, cook in
hot oven fifteen minutes, and serve
with or without Italian sauce.
Egg Preserving Pickle Recipe.-An
agent Of the RuTdl Press reports the fol.
lowing: Three quarts lime, tablespoon
full cream tartar, one cupfal salt, and
water enough to fill fve.gallon tin can,
after seventeen dozen eggs have been
carefully placed within the can. To the
water add the other ingredients, stir up
we'll and pour it on the eggs, and keep
them in a cool place entirely covered by
the pickle. The lady subscriber who
furnishes the above keeps her eggs per.
fectly sweet with the above treatment,
and by special request, after writing the
above recipe, she boiled me an egg that
had been in pickle four months: and
found it perfectly sweet and free from all
shadow Of faint or any objection of any
kind, and would trust them fully as soon
as the freshest eggs in any Of our mark.
cts. She usually gets the highest price
of fresh eggs, and does not sell till they
are about fifty cents dozen.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
THE DEPTH OF THE GREAT LAKES.

There is mystery about the Amer
lean lakes. Lake Erie is only sixty or
seventy feet deep; but Lake Ontario,
which is 500 feet deep, is 230 feet deep
below the tide level of the ocean, or as low
as most parts of the Gulf of St. Lawrence;
and the bottom of Lakes Huron, Mich
igan, and Superior, although the surface
IS much higher, are all from their vast
depth on level with the bottom of On
tario; now as the Detroit River, after al
lowing all the probable portion carried off
by evaporation, does not appear by any
means equal to the quantity of water
which the three upper lakes receive, it
has been conjectured that subterranean
river may run from Lake Superior, by
the Huron, to Lake Ontario. This con-
lecture is not impossible, and accounts
for the singular fact that herring and
salmon are caught in all the lakes COM
municating with the St. Lawrence, but
no others. AS the Falls of Niagara must
have always existed it would puzzle the
naturalist to say how these fish got into
the upper lake without some subterranean
river besides. any periodical examina-
lions of the river would furnish not inn
probable solution of the mysteries fux
and refux of the lakes.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
CURING SKINS.

A method of curing skins without re.
moving the hair is given by correspon-
dent in the Fancier's Journal: Take
salt water about ten gallons, one half
bushel wheat bran, seven pounds Of salt.
two and half pounds Of sulphuric acid.
Dissolve all together and put the skins in
the solution and allow them to remain
twelve hours; take them out and clean
them well, and again immerse twelve
hours, or longer, if necessary. The skins
may then be taken out, we'll washed and
dried. They can be beaten soft, if de.
sired.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20

3, 4 guest at one Of the hotels in this
city found lady's night.gown IN his
room recently, and went to the clerk
with it., saying: ''Look here, mister !:
this is hollow mockery, delusion, and
a snare: If you can't fill it up, don't
want this thing in my room.'
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20

lifted his leg in both hands, set it care.
fully on the floor, rose slowly from his
chair, and, looking down upon the unfor.
tunate youth, with q state Of mingled
wonder, pity and rath, burst forth in the
sub)imity Of rage, Go and read the his
tory Of your country, you id puppy -
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
TIMELY HINTS.

Now is the time to be looking for next
years seed corn .-~..e.~ .
Glycerine is excellent to rub on chafes,
burns or chapped, hands or sun scalds.
Castor oil is found to be the best and
most durable lubricator for buggy axles.
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20

"Don't know: ma'am, really-ncve
calculated that "
"Can't you guess g.
"Can't say-perhaps fifty thousand"
"Wa'al, hem - unused the good
woman: Il guess I'll take you; fifty
thousand is better than noth1ng.'
The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-10-20
FARM AND HOUSEHOLD;
HOUSEHOLD HINTS. /

HOOSEHOLDs alN1S. ~ t"- q
A screen or blower of wire gauze, from
thirty-six to forty wires to the inch, plac.
ed in front Of range or steve fires, will
prevent, it is said, smoke coming into the
room when the. chimney fails to draw
we'll. :
Vegetables should never be washed un-
til immediately before prepared for the
table. Lettuce is made almost worthless
in flavor by dipping it in water some
hours before it is served. Potatoes suf-
fer more than other vegetab les through
washing process; They should not be
put in water till just ready for boiling.
Meat boiled for table use should BE-
plunged at once into boiling water, as the
heat contracts the outer surfaces, and
coagulates the albumen, thus preventing
the escape Of the juices. Prepared for
stock or broth it should be placed on the
fire in cold water, as then the unconfned
juices are free to pass into the liquor
surrounding it.
1t is said that water lilies may be rails
ed about ones house by the following
method: Sink in the ground the half of
an oak eask, and cover the bottom with
peat and swamp mud, and then fill with
water. Dig the lily roots early in the
spring, and place them in the earth at
the bottom of tine tub. A gentleman who
has tried the experiment hasa number Of
lilies in bloom.
Before washing almost any colored fab
RIGS. soak them in water, to each gallon Of
which a spoonful of oxgall has been add
ed. \ tea.cupful Of lye in a pail of water
is said to improve the color Of French
linens. Vinegar in the rinsing water, for
pink and green, will brighten those col.
ors, and soda answers the same end for
both blue and purple.
Heat is a perfect antidote to faint in
milk in all its phases. Passing milk
through charcoal will remove faint from
warm milk. and give it most delicious
favor. Cold will silence the activity Of
the yeast, but will not kill it, and acidi-
ty will neutralize the oil for time, but
twill assert its sway upon the first favor.
able opportunity. In the treatment of
milk, airing is more efficient antidote.
Until the kitchen becomes thoroughly
and Systematically organized, and is re.
garded as one of the most If not the
most-important of household depart
ments, there can be no such thing as habit
ual health in the family. Bad cooking
poisons more persons than all the nau-
seous drugs ever administered to poor
humanity. and it affords the remote cause
for the employment of two.thirds Of all
the divorce lawyers in existance.
Without doubt. the old senseless FASH
ion of dressing babies in garments with
low necks and short sleeves is now quite
passed away. Pretty as the bare, plump
necks and arms were, common sense told
US they were fruitful source Of cramps
and colds and other complaints Of the
little ones, swelling to fearful proportions
the list of infant mortality. 1t may we'll;
be source of rejoicing that the absurd
and really wicked custom is abjurcd, and
the entire limbs and bodies of our pre-
cious little ones incased in comfortable
clothing.
Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1875-04-16
From Raltisuore fias tie
Senator Eaton, of Cannecticnt.

Here is one public man to whom we
tender our sincerest congratulations.
We tender them the more freely be-
Gauss we have an idea that journalists
II, arer to his neighborhood will not
venture to do SO. The first Demo
cratic Legislature that for many years
had blessed Connecticut, in tho exer,
else of their best discretion chose VIII
liam ". Eaton as the Senator. They
knew his record, and they knew him.
Many of them were old enough to re-
member the day Of ferociOus folly
when the portraits of two Connecticut
Governors were turned to the wall or
torn from their frames, I'd they re-
member. too, that III that dark day
William W. Eaton was true to his and
their principl, s. never quaiIed, new
fiincbed. 1t was for this he was
elected.
No sooner was this brave dee d done
than, il despair, the Radical press
tried 70 get up tie cry of Bourbonisln
and reaction, and what is far more to
be regretted, some Of the Liberal Re
publican journals took up the chorus.
and assisted III the attempt to frigbten
the Connecticut Democracy from its
uttiltt. " e Nc MI I-ftbcl
to say that with all this adverse clamor,
aud with the suspicion he must have
had as to its influence Oh weak kneed
visible friends, there was no white
feather in his wing. There was DO
occasion for him to speak in the Sen
ate, and yet he was not afraid to do
Then was It that, IN view 6 the com
ing election, the howl began again.
and to such an extent was it carried.
tina; had the result hf the c...4v;ss been
dlIf,-rtnt from what il -, tie " hOle
blame OF 1t would have rested OF
-enator Eaton. TLitgs turning out
L fft-i s.urjy the moral u, il AL is that
Senator Eaton deserves. more than
any on~. congratulation. And the
!o+ic, that although he may hold or
~unle matters 1trelne viAws-aEd such
vie VS.. whether onurciated by Demo,
rat or Republicans, are always dan
gerOuS- Coun- cticut even Will many
OF tn Democrats there. as nun hers
10 where, beiiavs in a policy ui
c,nciliation, stands by him and trusts
him, because he is a true man.
Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1875-04-16
2OTEE m AN. tSS5.

The Charlotte Southern Home pub
fishes an important piece of lnforma'
ton touching the authenticity OF the
Mecklenburg Declaration OF Independ-
euce. 1t says:
We learn by private letter from
Bolivar, Tenn. that this distinguished
grandson of Col. Thos. Polk, (Coi
Horace M. Polk of revolutionary
fame, has some important facts In re-
gard to the Mecklenburg Declaration
Among other things, an extract from
Raleigh paper of 1909. giving a
speech delivered at Chapel Hill. In
which there is an eloquent ailusion to
the great event of the Goth of May,
ITS. The silly notoriety hunters OBJ
iect that not until 1919 did the De-
ciaration attract public attention. But
Col. Polk can show by the record that
ten years before that, and in the life
time of the actors in that grand move
ulent, a speaker at the University OF
the State claimed for old Mecklenburg
the honor of first proclaimlng 1nde
pendencp,"
Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1875-04-16

change that the changes not desired
will be made, and color is sought to
be given to that assertion by the de-
clarations of single Democratic pa
per. We regret extremely that such
a declaration should have been mad
but having been made, we beg leave to
suggest to the Democratic press ii the
State whether it will not be better to
give such a plain, emphatic expression
of opinion upon the question as shail
forever put at rest the purpose 81 the
Democratic party and It's members,
whethe- in Convention or out OF 1t, IL
regard to the restrictions imposed by
the Legislature.
For ourselves we have only 90 Say
that although we were opposed to
the adoption of some of the restrc-
tons yet, having been adopted, our
motto is THE RESTRICTIONS MUST AMI
SHALL BE oBEYED.
Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1875-04-16

stoch holders vino will tax. th,, h,,s
and God-bonoring position? WV"
Waiting for no her man to do h.
duty let us do ours. Kick the infer,
stuff ont of your house. Brookinn1
may be prayed out of all this sInsh
and filth. God, who planted -
these pleasant places, and to Who's
glory all these churches have hsoe
reared, can extricate us. On that ono
revival wave might sweep across on.
streets, carrying out to sea the last
VeStlga Of this great shame. Let no
rise up and take the city for God and
Heaven. We raise the standard ~
night. About $50 converted sonI,
have stepped into this church r.s;.
men" since tins present work Of otac
b gan III cur midst. Would God TIT
t'-nig!lt We might make up full re~,i'
mHnt + ii thousend / beat the d,n,,
Of recruit. No one but the Otnp,no-
tint Spirit of God can wips on; ths
difference between Sodom and Broot1
lyp. % Lord revive Thy work. IN
the midst Of the We RS make known: IN
wrath remember nercy"