Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-08-25
TIE REV. ZOE hTREKER-KT WAS
NOT THE RIGHT MAN. iH3'

NVT THE RIGHT MAN,
, Max. Adeler.
Over in w. one of.the churches re
Gently called Clergyman named Rev
Joe Striker. In that city, by mos
unfortunate coincidence, there also re.
sides prominent prize-fighter named
Joseph Striker, and rumors were aflost
a few weeks ago that tho latter Joseph
was about to engage in a contest with
a Jersey pugiiist for the echampionship
Our Sheriff considered il his duty lo
warn Joseph against the proposed in.
fraction of tho laws, and 80 he deter.
mined to call upon the professor OF the
art OF se;f-defense. Unhappily, in in
quiring the way to the pugilist's house,
somebody misunderstood the Sheriff,
and sent him to the residence OF Rev.
jos. Striker, OF whom he had never
heard. When Mr.. Striker entered the
room, in answer to the summons, the
Sheriff said to him familiarity:
+ 'Hello, Joe! How are you ?,
Mr.. Striker was amazed at this ad-
dress, but he politely said:
Good morning"
"Joe," said tho Sheriff, throwing his
leg laziiy over the arm OF the chair, IL
came round here to sec You about that
mill with Patsy Dingua, that they're all
talking about. want you to under
stand that it can't come OIL any W here's
around here. You know well enough
it's against the law, and | amt a going
to have it,"
"Mill Mill T! sir? What on earth do
yon mean?' asked Mr.. Striker, in as-
tonishment. Il do not own any mill
sir. Against the law l do not un-
derstand you sir.'
SNOW, sec here, Joc," said the Sher-
III. biting Oft a piece Of tobacco and
looking very wise, ".that won't 70
down with me. It's pretty thin, you
know. know we'll enough that you
have put up $1,000 on that little affair,
and that you've got the whole thing
fixed, with Bill Msrtin for referee. i
know you're going down to Pea Patch
Island to have it out, and Pm not GO
ing to allow it. I'll arrest You az sure
az gun, II you try it on-now mind
me-" sts.3-
sReally, ,sir,' said Mr.. Striker, "there
must be some mistake about
"Oh, no, there isn't; your name ia
Joe Striker, isn't ?" asked the Sher-
i'll.
any name is Joseph Striker. GER
tainly.'
~ knew it," said the Sheriff, spit
sing on the carpet, '.and you see I've
got this thing dead to rights. 1t shan't
come of, and I'm doing you favor
in blocking the game, before Patsey'd
curl yon all mp and sicken you any
way, If l let you meet him. l know
he's the best man, and you'd just lose
your money and get all bunged up be-
sides 80 you take my advice, now, and
quit. You'll be sorry if you dou't.'
81 do not know what you are refer
ring TO-" said Mr.. Striker. "Your re.
marks are incomprehensible to me, but
your tone is very offensive, and ii you
have any business with mo, I'd thank
you to state it at once"
"Joe," said tho Sheriff, looking at
him with q benign smile. "you play it
pretty well. Anybodyd think you
wcre as innocent as q lamb. But il
won't work, Joseph it won't work, I
tell You. I've got duty to perform.
and Pm going 10 DO IT, aud pledge
you my word If you and Dingus don't
knock of now, Ill grab you and send
you mp for ten years, as sure as death.
.lln ia earneat about it.
"What do you mean, sir 2" asked Mr.
Striker, iiercely. q, ..-. ..E.,
go, don't go to putting on airs about
II. Don't you try any strutting before
me-" said the Sheriff, or I'll put you
under bail this very afternoon. Let's
see, how long we're you in Jail the last
time? Two years, wasn't it? Well
you 60 to fighting with Diugus and
You will get 10 years, sure !"
"lou are certainly crazy !" exclaimed
Striker.
Il don't see why you want to stay
at tlat business, anyhow said the
Sheriff. Here you arc, in snug
home, where you might live In peace
and keep respectable. But, no, you
must associate with low characters,
and go TO stripping yourself naked,
and jumping into ring to get your
nose bloodied and your head swelled
and your body hammered to a jelly,
and all for what? Why, for cham
pionshipl las ridicnlous. What
good will it do you If you are cham
pion? Why don't you try to be hon.
est and decent, and let prizc-fighting
alone?" 7 =
This is tho most extraordinary con-
versation ] ever listened to-" said Mr..
Striker: "iou evidently take me for
T."
y II take you for Joe Striker, and II
You keep on. I'll take you to JAIL" said
the Sheriff, with emphasis. Now you
tell mo who has got th0se stakes, and
who's your trainer, and I'll put an end
to the whole thing s}t 4
lyon seem 70 imagine that I am 3
pugilist," said Mr.. Striker. .Let me
inform You, sir, that am clergy
man. "ups aa ~ G @
'Joe," said the Sheriff shaking his
head, sits too bad4or you to lio that
way-too bad, indeed"
But | am a clergyman sif--pAstOr
of thechurch OF st. Sspulchre. Look
here ia aletter in my pocket, address
ed to me-" go.iSI Gf s5e
4 "You don't really meant to say that
you're preacher named Joseph Stri-
ker" exclaimed tho Sheriff, looking
scared .p85 sEsE pEA .
"Certainly,e I am. Come up stairs
and I'm show youa barrel-fnil OF my
sermone." &e 51.Fs 95 s.
ssWeil, il this don't beat Nebuchad-
ne2zar r. said tho Sheriff; .sthis IL aw-
full! Why, I mistook you for Joe
Striker, the prize fighter. \ don't
know how ever-a preacher! What
an ass I've made Of myself! I don't
know how to apologize, but il you
want to kick me down tho front steps,
just kick away, and III bear it like an
angelp p
Then tho Sheriff withdrew nnkicked
and Mr.. Striker went mp stairs to
finish his Sunday sermon. The Sher-
i'll talked of resigning, but he contin-
ucs to hold on.
What n squirrel Can Do.
The following overture tale is told
of the squirrel by the Stockton (Cal.,
Independent of July 81: 20. r. +.
kallcnbach made raid . few days ago
on the squirrels which abound In the
neighborhood of French Camp and
nyav n nnn tho y, hnAA fsolAa Frnno uhirh