Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1875-06-04

-Ifyo are between two evils, don't be
so foolish as 10 choose the least, but stay
just where you are until one Of them de-
parts.
The most influentia. person one meets
on the street is the man with a long ladder
and pot of red lead in one hand, and q gas
pipe on his shoulder.
-Host-"Just another wee drap fore
you CO." Guest-"Na, ma all tax nae mairi
I'm in a new lodgin', and I'm no vera weel
acquainted VII the stair"
AT the earnest solicitation of my wife
and children, have consented 10 become
a candidate for County Treasurer" is the
way Mississippi candidate puts 1t.
The average income Of the French gov
ernmcnt from the tax upon SUGGESTIONS to
property is 5000, 600 francs, but for the past
year it has been IL, ,OO0, 900, so much greater
has been the rate of mortality.
The Savannah News says a McDufIe
county man broke his arm in two places,
and put out the eye ofa grass widow, re-
Gently, in endeavoring TO drop some warm
molassss candy which he had picked up.
"A reporter of the Cleveland Herald
ohOOu Oh hhO SOuAt 41Ouoo Steps hu6 OlutE
day, and counted "a men who want TO be
Governor of Ohio and it being a cloudy
day, 1t is supposed that he missed about
200.
The household pet lay down, directly
after the carpet had been taken up, and
rose up with a canine shrek whereupon
1t was ed that he was 4 living evil
denCe of the evil effects of the tacks on
dogs.
They have had spelling match down
on the banks of The tranquil Milpitas.
There were twenty seven contestants, and
twenty-sx went down ON the first word,
seat" and the last man would have gone
down too, only he suffered, and conldn't
get in tho second "" quick enough
Stockton Leader.
In comedy now playing in Paris is
the following hit, which has more than n
local application: M. LaboiSsiere is re-
quested to give something to charitable en-
elprise. "Very good" he says, put my
name down on the list for hundred francs
M. Laboissiere, dealer in metals, and
member Of tie General Council" "Bnt,
sir, We have no list (; We are collecting the
money in hat" "No list and In a hat I
Here is five francs for you." And no puts
the bank note back into his pocketbook.
An Ohio paper says: The man who
carries The mail at Union City from the
trains to the Office is q clever fellow, but
absent minded. The other night the train
was late, and he reclined on the floor, pill
lowing his head ON a dog. while he held
la kar In, fa ha
came in he awOke, gave the mail bag .
kick, and seized the dog by the cHG OF the
neck and tail and started for the mail car.
The messenger told him the dog was nOt
properly stamped.
"A most interesting feature Of the next
years Centennial at Philadelphia will be
the department of women's work, which
has for its main object tho enhancing Of the
value OF woman's labor, and will embrace
things useful and ornamental, including
the fine arts. The Ladies' Commission,
which has this matter specially in charge,
and already numbers about a thousand
members, has raised $4,000 In Philadel-
phia alone.
"A remar kable freak OF nature occurred
at the mouth Of the Mississippi river on
the night OF the 2sth Of April. During the
night at PASCAL Outre, and near the cham
mel, we are told by the New York Times
correspondent, there suddenly arose an
island, with an area Of about eight acres, to
the height Of eight feet and more. This
occurred in g spot where the day before,
there was an unbroken surface Of water,
without tho slightest indication OF the oc-
currence of such strange phenomenon.
A circular has been issued by Alexan-
der Agassiz, Director of Natural History at
Penikese Island stating that the attempt TO
make 1t partially self-supportlng has re.
suited In so great a reduction Of Applica-
lions for admission the coming season, the
trustees are forced 10 close II this year. The
pupils have been, for the most part, teach
ers, who are not paid enough to allow
them TO pay thoir board and instruction be-
side, during their summer vacation.