Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1875-03-25
Il LONG LOOK B4CKWARD.
By MARGARET EARLE.

By MARGARET EARLE.
Old age grows garrrllous, they say.
Perhaps that is the reason my lips are
unsealed tonight. Alone, yet not lonely,
memory has been very busy in these
twilight hours. 1 have been looking
backward over long stretch of years to
a sunny childhood. All ! what a dreary
waste lies between what shipwrecked
plans and hopes what bitter disap-
pointments! what weary tossings.
But, sitting here in my quiet home to-
night, there streams forward over the
dreary waste from that sunlit childhood,
and backward from the setting light, q
soft radiance that brightens all the shad-
ows.
1 have stood at sunset, after summer
shower, and watched a rainbow standing
out In bright relief against dark and
troubled sky. Can it be, wonder, that in
all our troubles are hidden those prismatic
colors, waiting only the touch of ten
der, humble faith to set them free, and
span our heavens with bow of promise
De Quincy says: 1.-The happiest of
all cmldhoOds will have been that of
which the happiness has survived and
expressed itself, not In distinct records,
but in deep affection, in abiding love,
and the harntings of meditative power"
Ny childhood was as free, and happy,
and hght-hearted as child's life can
ever be. An atmosphere of love en-
folded me, and the pleasures of country
life were endless. Igrew up worshiper
of Nature-indeed, she took me so en-
tirely to her heart, came to live more
for her than for human companionship.
But if the childhood and early youth
were blithe and happy the shadows were
gathering, and came stretching their
darkness over me. One and another of
the choicest and dearest friends were
taken-and with me no second friend can
ever take the place of the dead. Once
gone there is vacancy forever.
The dearest hopes were blighted-the
most cherished plans defeated-the in
tensest aspirations stifed. Checked,
crossed, thwarted everywhere, L could
scarcely recognize In matluer years
trace of the ight-hearted, happy girl.
All this Is the saddest part of our trials
hereto have the bitter pain of the dis
cipline and none of the blessing. In our
blindness, we bear as best we can what
We cannot possibly rid ourselves of, but
never by true submission accept what
would make the discipline tolerable.
Oh IN those years how unspeakably I
lonsed for home of my own--a quiet
little nest where / might have absolute
freedom Freedom to do--freedom to
do my best. All! / would show what
my capabilities were if hand or brain
could only earn me home of my own.
Do you fancy other dreams at work
Nay, it was no mans home wanted-a
home of my own. In that was an mex
pressible charm. / would show to nv
skeptical friends what an honest, earnest,
self-reliant woman, in the best sense of
the word, could make a home that should
be rs attractive as any matron's of them
all.
/ had never been troubled with any
dreams of love. My heart was my own.
While l had the most thorough-going
friendship for my gentlemen friends, 1
had also the most perfect Indifference to
them as lovers. / think marriage i'm
proves men even more than women. At
least, knor' that my best gentlemen
friends, those for whom had the deep
est respect and warmest friendship, were
the married men of my acquaintance.
The homo came at last. A distant
relative. an eccentric old bachelor, left
me by will sum sufficient to realize
these heart-longings. And it came Just
IA would have liked it best. 1 would
far rather take it as legacy from the
dead than gift from the living.
looked long and carefully before / could
find place TO my TASTE At length I
found it; and, had the ordering of it
from the foundatian-stone to the top
most single been my own, it could not
have suited me better.
A tasteful Gothic cottage, standing
sufficiently apart for freedom, sufficient
" near for protection, with beautiful
outlook on the distant hills; a single
stately elm throwing its shadows over
ereensward as soft, and smooth, and vel
ve.y az turf can be ivy nesting around