The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-12-04
VARIETY.

Grant is reported to have kissed all the girls al
Oregon seminary. Though not entirely sue
cesslul n President there are some traits and
tastes about this man one cannot help admirng
She was the most consderate woman going ac-
ceptiBg him as he was, not always longing for the
superlatye. So instead Of slippers on his birth
day che sent him couple of pounds Of cardamOn
seeds.
TRUE JOURNALIsM.-The enterprise of true
journalism is illustrated by the of the editor
of the Daily Hider, published at Bcvidere, ILL.,
who being hOrsewhipped, got out an extra, con-
tanning full account Of the affair, and sold pa
pers enough to pay for the arnca and plasters.
Yesterday morning Il Detroit husband escorted
his wife to one of the depOts, that she might
start visit to the country, to be gone six
weeks, and as she was about ready to enter the
car he said, - Dear me but won't be lonesome,
thought 81 rather think you will, >, she respOn-
lied, in dry, cutting tone, s for I've arranged
with six women, four policemen, and two detec-
tives to keep an eye on you lie smiled, but it
was sad smile.
They say that New York "styles" " are do
ing more to abolish pOlygamy in Utah than any
other cause. The Mormon ladies will follow the
fashions, and the average saint finds that one
wife is all he cares to keep In 60 style 1t is
ported, moreover, that the younger generation of
MornlOns are rarely believers in their fathers
doctrines but as a rule become spritualists or
infdes.
A Husband and wife were celebrating the
twenty fifth anniversary of their wedding, and
when quite a little circle was gathered about
them, the husband, with not little self-compla-
cency, said; ." Here my wife and have been mar
ried for twenty-five years, and in all that time
neither of as has ever spoken to the other an ex-
cited or unkind word Thunder, said the
witty DR. M, "what stupid time you must
have had Of it,
al-s. DnrFo
mouth, Ohio, he was much disturbed by the
wranglIng and quarrels of drunken men among
his hearers and at last, with patience utterly ex-
hausted he cried a. Gentleman, you had better
reserve yourselves for the great fight on Tuesday,
and to-day listen to the promulgation of your
principles u That's so, Governor exclaimed
a maudlin fellow 50 but you have a-sight more
PRONUNCIATION than principles. Let the fight go
ON -
a Western paper tells the following: man
went into Sights confectionery store a few days
ago, in an excited manner, and rushing up to the
proprietor said " Do you make wedding cakes?"
- Yes, sir," said Slight.
'' Well" said the other. g I'm going ter git
married ter-day, an L want cake. IN no
sIoucb, an I'm going to do things right up to the
handle. L don't entend ter git married but once,
and yew bet I'll make things howl
Slight smiled bandly, and commenced lifting
out ten and twenty dollar wedding cakes, gOr-
geOus in beautiful frosting and artificial flowers.
Among the rest was a small plain cake. g How
much il that p asked the excited purchaser.
=. Four bits" said Slight - That's the one for
me here's your money, old pard; wrap her up.
There's nothing small about me; wouldn't care
if it was six bits
CAPITAL AND ExPERIENCE.-The drawer was
chatting a few weeks ago on the piazza of the
United States Hotel at Saratoga, with a bright
German gentleman, retired from business, who
related the following little anecdote:
8, Going down to New York the other night on
the boat" said he, g got to chatting with a
German acquaintance, and asked him what he
was doing
"Vel," he replied, /" shoost now | am doing
nodings, but have made arrangements to go into
piEiness.
ssVeIl, goes into partnership NIT a man"
Do you put in much capital?'
No doesn't put in no capital :"
's Don't want to risk it, eh?'
'' No, but puts in de experience
And he puts in the capitals? "
Yes dot is it. We goes into piziness for dree
years be puts in de capital, puts in de expert
ence At the end of de dree years will have de
CAPITAL and he will have de experience i''-Hdr-
per- Magazine.
Is P1LLERINC They were coming down from
Saginaw on the boat, and, rs n swell rocked the
steamer, the young lady screamed out and crawled
around until she seized the young mans arm
:, PiIler yer head right here, Susan!'' he ex-
claimed, patting his heart with one hand and
Slipping the other round her waist. ' When
feIier loves girl as love you, he could take her
on his back and swim eighteen miles in bee line
and then 90 home and hoe corn till sundown.
Piller yer head right here, my love, and if she /
rains and halls and thunders blue blazes, don't
YOU saueal one squeal!'' 'sAre we safe?'' she
tremblingly inquired. " Safe as q cow tied to q
brick wall eighteen feet thick, my love just lean
right here, shut your pearly eyes, and feel as
contented as if We set the top rail of the pas
tur' fence, waitin' fur tin peddler to arroye in
sight" She pillered,' and everybody re-
marked that he looked like hero.
sMarse, John. gimme four bits, please sir;
you amt treated dis niger since de war said
81 TO the son OF his old owner, yesterday.
What do you want with it, 81? 'queried the
young man.
= Want ter 60 to the circus, Marse John. You
knows how niger is :"
Bot 81. fifty cents won't take you IN now
The Civil Rights bill made You as good as a
white man at the shows, and you'll have to pay
a dollar, as | do
, ss Is dat de truf, Marse John =
0 Just as true as preaching"
III scratched his hesd for full minute, then
looked up with mou- tful eyes aud said
4 Oar il is n gai! | tOle dem niggers dey waz
nilen de horB~wI-A de wanted dem sibil rights,
esin1 Of it pint blank alius wus
a mighty up-spOken niger ez you knows, Marse
John, and 'twixt us | say dam de sibIi rights,
suesuiIy when de circus is around -
81 got his four bits, but he's mad yet.