, 1875-09-19
HUlI()R.
The height Of impudence- length m I
book-agent.

| book-agent.
Anumber hat will just tt St. Lo1is NO.
quito -bite--Ai.1aukee Sentinel.
The Maltsters elected Mr. 4. King ss haad d
their Executive COMMITTEES. AIas! that's ut
the only L. King head for which they asa rsspm-
| sib}e-
Ode to my 1andlady-Two weeks' boatd.bM
k-Exchange. Yes. She under stAuza joke Il
that Kind and that's why you're verse to nssss,
We suppose. Brooklyn argus.
4 rude fellow once told Barnum that he haa
never exhibited anything that was not BAIT
faced humbuS. "Yes, have" aaid Batnuus.
"the bearded lady wasn't oarefaced."
Tho Providence Press says that mosquitoes
listen to each other with thair antennB- Ther,
in speaking OF the mosquitoes lack Of esrA
would it be proper to say their antennD7
When man wants to be mean and shov ha
1ittleness, he builds his garden-feuce 80 high
that no neighbor's COW can moro tnan look oTf
it and feel her mouth water at the sight ot 10
cabbages.
It WAS after dinner, and it wns dull ths ca.
Then the cynio said: "Will nobody go h6nA
that We may have fine opportunity to tesr hin
all 70 pieces ~ aoon as he leaves z"
When Missouri engineer ditched his train, b
faintly asked - Did it kill any one who parted
his hair in the uniadle?" They answered shst
three such were lying dead "Then de hap
py!" he sighed, and was soon no more.
Nothing is so discouraging to young lawyer,
Just es he WAKES eloquent about angels tsatA,
weeping willows, and tombetonss - to be inter
rupted By the cold-blooded Justice With. "You'fe
ing .
A jai1er in Western state hAd rscoived szic*
orders not to keep his prisoners in sohtazJ coz
{inaroant fnca when hA had ENo in cht{H4,
ona escaped, and he Was obliged to lick tha
other out OF the door, to comply NTH ths rosu-
1ation.
Sam" T say, Jim. how do you hfe nj ns1
sweet OF clothes Z" jim Sweet OBJ clothes!
Go long. You mean suit ofciothes: sam-'Vo
long wid yer ownself, you black isnoEsmus:
Don't folks ~ knows French Say sweet OF roouss
Well do Same am applicable to clothes Go
whitewaah yourself"
A AGerman peddler sold man liquid for ths
determination OF bugs. And how DO you ~
1t 2" inquired the man, after he hsd booghsH.
Ketch to bug und drop one little drop into III
mont, answered the peddler. Tho deuce Joa
do " exclaimed the purchaser. could Ha
in half that time by stamping on it. "te4
An American Judge WAS obliged to sleep Nth
an 1rishman in . crowded hotel; .hen she asa 1o1
lowing conversation ensued: Pat, yo1 Noua
have remained long timo in the Old COUNTY,
before you could have slept With Jnd4e
would you not, Pat ~ "Yes, yer hono1, ssM
Pat; ''aud think vpur Honor would hare oeen
long time in the Old Country before yed b'en
Judge, too"
When Nevada photographer wants to MAKES
good picture. he puts the sitter in hs p!aes.
bulls ont navy-rovolyer. cocks it Levels il q
the mans head, and says: "Now 1ist Jo1 ST
perfectly still and don't move hair put Of
calm, pleasant expression Of conntenAncA soo
look right into the nuzzle Of this revolFe:. u
Ill blow the top OF your head Of ~ fcpa.S
ton as an artist ia at stake, and don't Raa1 q"
nonsense about this picture"
There don't appear to be mrob limit to Az Az
laborer's hours. A man who has ooon nos4so
to sixteen hours day. quit on eAtmeaS5:: J:
"What's the matter I-doa't you ike :ae p'aca
asked the farmer. "0h. yes! | Ike ne ptass
well enough" explained the hand, "pnt .ns
nights are getting 80 long I'm afraid canta,-
full days work" The farmer smiled Aks AL Il"
valid
i citizen Of Ticksburg who wanted Me- s1s
inquired il he would like : job. "rd hzs w,s g oe
it, but haven. sine" was the answer TX
yo1 don't seem to be doing anything. o%;~ -.
Ell! Well, now rzs gwine fsh,n' tc-d1y. ~ T..
MORROW rze gwine ober the rlboer HsA'r1 ~.
I'ze got to git my butes fixed. Next e., -
FTl04 10 n8u1 LUe L1u1C NuA 10
how l'ze to git fzew d. week unless his0 = a''>
to hsfp mel" =.
Dr.. Bethuoe used to tell good story apoa;f
two Scotchinen vino came to this county sa'%t -
years ago. "What'a the matter. AncleT,
70 seem sac troubled this morning
fearful dream in the nicht." u What @a ~
dream ?" " dinna like to tell" "UN ~
dream ye saw the dell 7" "No. it mas fsf "s. r..
than that" ''Did 80 dream yer m,sae1 r. w.
dead :" No, it was far waur than TINT" vi
What did 70 dream, monf' '"Wh5. d1eao@e"
WAS hame again"
It iB related that the Postmaster Of AonsieeuU.
Ga, recently performed ths bost OF reso,ok
letter without hearing ito contents AZ otn - "
man. who had never been to school, goe MMXr
one da5, and asked the Postmaster to Iesa ~! Ia
her. She did not want him to hear II. % -
took wad Of cotton ont OF her pocaes .J
stuffed his ears with it. She then had ham t. sts
the letter in low voice, and waa per'oc11 Z .
listed that the reader did not hear vo1o u -
Aman in neighbo1ing county, who wehen -
write history OF his family, was unabla Io ~
tain the necessary material; but, when PC ~
nominated for Congress-, the oppos1eon pe
furnished him complete history OF inc et h;,, "
for Six generations back, aod didn't cnalRo -
q cent. But he says be doesn't bsnes9 x :;
great-g1eat- t-groat- grandmother WAS bufneo
being witch, aud that hia gEeat-8teasat
father wss hanged taT ktaaling aheep - -.
In tho papax&