, 1875-02-14
HU11OR.

Why did Freedom Bhriek Kos-ciuako fell.
Stanley Gays that there arc no banks in Zand-
bar, but the natives have many = wild tune
there
Which would you rather do for steady busi-
ness, go to Wheeling VHglnia, or 60 to Coming
Iowa?
"Of Whist beverage did Juliua Cesar die ?"
Answer: "of Roman punches sdmlnla1s1ed o5
Brutus."
proper to ask them, :" Does your mother know
Jour route 2"
II man drops down upon chair where bad
boy has lett bent pin, he will E1sa liko aphen1
from it's ashes.
It has been cold enough in Kansas to feeeze
whisky, and Soma Of the drunka1ds there hays
become solid men.
When Cometocksr wants to disparnge another
he says: "Whep you thoroughly prospect hun,
you'll find no BONANZA in him."
One fortunate thing in being King il, that
Kings never have to get up nights and lug tha
potatoes in beside the coal-stove.
An uncle left eleven SILVER spoons to bis
pephen IN his will. adding, ''He knows the rsa-
son have not left him the whole dozsn.".
Mr. Naylle, Of Toronto, was knocked down by
mistake for another man. recently. he hopes
they'll hit the right Naylle on the head next
time
"What's biography, BiI17" "It's a-tellin' Of
fortin lsuds that We know nothin' about bJ cute
chaps that's never sosn 'om." Bill got4 : Govern
ment situation.
Barnum advertises that be will ''ho1d four
races at the hippodrome." We pass; there Is no
nse buoking against four aces.-Boston Com
mercial Bulletin.
to his friend, whose feet we're covered with
bunions. 'sNo, not stylish but exceedingly
nobby," Was the good-natured reply.
Two rival eel-fshermen in Maine recently set
fire to each others huts, whereupon local paper
mentions it under the head Of "a Paris Com
mune in America-Ths Two-eelezies Again In
Blaze"
A Vermont farmer etroked his gray locka and
sadly remarked: II didn' really know how old
and feeble I was until went to liek James this
morning. He's only II, but couldn't mako him
holler."
Queen Gertrude, Of Denmark, must hare had
more than two husbands, Shakespeare to the con=
trary notwithstanding. Doas not Gray, IN bis
Eiesy, remark: !" The ruds fourfathers Of the
Hamlet sleep2"
Pete1sham has produced an anctianeer Who
'sYou've got . good bargain on that sleigh yoq
bid OF for $3.50. It's just as good for the hens
to roost on as ono that costs $50.
An eccentric actor, whoae mauia took tho form
OF new readings, maintained that Horatio WAs
really Hamlet's father, and Justified himself in
TIC scene in which Hamlet motaizes over the
skuI OF Yo1ick, by saying: 1T anelt 80, Pa"
:John, SAY Iour cousin Isaac few weeks
ago, and he had just received fall, which cut ,
most horrible g2sh in his arm" ''Ah. poor fel-
low! What did be fall on n swell, really, I
forget nov but it rather strikes me hs fall On
Tuesday morning.
A gentleman drove sorrorful-lookin horse
into town last Saturday, and, stopping IN 'front.'
Of Bank Block, be requested small boy to hold
him moment. :tHold limp" exclaimed the
boy "jost lean him mp against the post-that'H
hold 'm.-R1change.
Much depends upon the way IN which things
ara stated. For example, in one Of our Western
exchanges IN account Of steamer accident 70
given. N which the reporter sa!s "Ihe .,y oniy
passengere we're T. T. hatna9, VINO cWneo entee~
fou1ths Of the cargo aud the Captains WIFE"
.wb.t ara vou after. nv dear7" said grand
mother to little boY, who ~. sliding along
room and casting furtiye gsnces - gentleman
who Wis paying ! risit. am trying, grsnd-
M to eteai papa's hst out Of the room wlt6ont
letting tho gentleman sec it; hs wants him 70
think he's out.
'.Wb.t is your name E. .sked sensqs.t.ksr:
osh nyeao %Sse GSssSfia sssivty as that's WIT
bothers me. I'll tall you, and maybe you can
make Il out. My father was Irish, but is now
naturalized American citizen; my mother En-
glish, add 7 waa born on = Dutch frlgasa, under
4 ths 3 French a's in 4nfk'aa waters Now 'oF
tr. citizen Of Cincinnati, who had managed
10 eet introduced to the Duke, thus introduced
bis wi1e at Pixies Opera-Hopso: :. Duke, let me
introduce 9on to ny wife, Mrs: Judge ---, the
b. tha RrsaS IND IND
1.I;.1a xhiln p1or1nuaiv fighting for hia conntrv