The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1875-05-12
Rates of Advertising.
a SPELLING MATCH.


The other evening old Mr.. and Mrs.
Coffin, who live on Brush street, sat in
their cozy back parlor, be reading his
paper and she knitting, and the family
cat stretched out under the stove and
signing and felt sorry for cats not so
we'll fixed. 1t was happy, contented
household, and there was love in his
heart as Mr.. Coffin put down his news
paper and remarked:
81 see that the whole country is be-
coming excited about spelling schools"
swell, its good to know how to
spell" replied the wife. "I didn't
have the chance some girls had, but I
pride myself that ! can spell almost
any word that comes along"
"Tll see about that" he laughed;
"come, now, spell buggy"
"Humph that's nothing-b-u.g-g-y
buggy" she replied.
"Missed the first time-hal hap he
roared, slapping his leg.
"Not much, that was right"
at was, Ell? Well, I'd like to see
anybody get two g's in buggy, 1
would. p"
"But it is spelled with two g's, and
any schoolboy will tell you so," she
persisted.
"Well, / know darn sight better
than thatp' he exclaimed, striking the
table with his fist.
81 don't care what knowp she
squeaked 81 know that there are two
g's in buggyP
"Do you mean to tell me that Pve
forgotten how to spell ?" he asked.
at looks that way"
at does, Ell? Well, l want you
and all your relations to understand
that know more about spelling than
the whole caboodle of you strung on
wire 2"
"And / want you to understand,
Jonathan Coffin, that you are an ig'
nofant old blockhead, when you don't
put two g's in the word buggy-yes,
you are!'
"Don't.talk that way to mel" he
warned.
"An don't shake your fist at mel"
she replied.
"Who's shaking his fist ?"
"You were!"
"That's lie-an Internal lie"
"Don't call me liar, you old ba-
zaar! I've put up with your meanness
for forty years past, but don't call me
liar, and don't lay hand on mel"
"Do you want divorce ?" he shout
ed, spring up; ''you can go now, this
minuteW
"Don't spit in my face-don't you
dare to do it or I'll make dead man
of youp' she warned.
81 haven't spit in your freckled old
visage yet, but / may if you provoke
me further!"
"Whos got freckled face, you old
turkey-buzzard !"
That was little too much. He
made motion as if he would strike,
and she seized him by the necktice,
Then he reached out and grabbed her
right ear and tried to lift her off her
feet but she twisted up on the neck
tie until his tongue ran out
"Let go of me, you old fiend," she
screamed.
"Git down on yer knees and beg
my pardon, you old wild catP he re-
piled.
They surged and swayed and strug-
gled, and the peaceful cat was struck
by the overturned table and had her
back broken, while the clock fell down
and the pictures danced around. The
woman finally shut her husbands sup
ply Of air off and Topped him, and as
she bumped his head up and down on
the floor, and scattered his gray hairs,
she shouted:
"You want to get up another spell
ing school with me, don't you"
He was seen limping around. tho
yard yesterday, stocking pinned
around his throat, and she had court
plaster on her nose and one finger
tied up. He wore the look Of mar
tyr, while she had the bearing of
victor, and from this time out "bug-
gy" will be spelled with two g's in
that house.
Under the head of Orthogramma-
cholvgy the New York Graphic says:
There is no syrtis in which those who
belong not to the synomosy of ortho'
graphists are so apt to be engulfed as