davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
The GOOSeherrY.

The gooseberry Amt a vegatabel, MOI
one ov the arbs, natralists tells us SO,
and what a naturalist don't know he aint
afraid to guess at. They gro ON short
bushes and theze bushes are az full ov
prickers az a paper ov pins.
For hot sass, or to bid a pi out ov, the
gooseberry stands hi, but oh, Lord how
it duz take the sugar to quiet them.
Naturally the goosebery is sourer than
q step-mother, and to eat n green un,
right off from the bush, would make q
goat skream, and run home, for dea1
life.
This funny fruit grows not, only on Q
bush that IL full ov thistles, but they are
full of teeth themselfs all over, like 9
chestnut burr.
What on earth so many prickers are
good for has allwuss been a stumbling
biloxi to science.
Why they are called gooseberrys il
another konnumdrum, for a sound
minded goose won't tuch one emmy
quicker than they would n live frog, anc
the goose generally stands reddy to eat
ennything they kin grab.
Man IL a finite kritter, and the prickerl
on a gooseberry, like ten thousand othel
things, hav bothered him to explain, bu
natur don't do ennything for the sake O.
a joke, and when we cum to be larnt il
all things, we shall diskover that thar
amt one too few, nor one too mutcl
pricker on the gooseberry.
The more We kno, the less we doubt
One thing we do know. Man sprung
from the monkey, and L hope the wiz
folks won't stop now, but keep on, an,
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
Peculiar PeOnlc.

A Boston letter to an Eastern news
paper relates that upon one Of the fash
ionable South End squares of that city
there has lived in a swell-front, four
story brick house, until very lately, a
woman who has hired for her servant her
own sister. The latter was treated in all
respects as a mental, and though the
woman and her husband, having no chill
dren, dined alone when there was no
company in the house, they never per-
mitted the sister to sit with them. Not
only this, but the sister-servant was kept
at work from early till late, and there
was no such thing as leisure for her, or
a particle of the consideration due from
one SO nearly related to her. Finally
the woma moved out of town, and the
sister determined to find an easier place.
Accordingly she engaged to got to a sum-
mer resort as a pastry cook in a fashion
able clearinghouse. Now it has trans
pred that her sister and former mistress
has engaged board for the warm season
not only at this very resort, but also at
the very house where her sister is to fur
nish the daily pies and buildings.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
The Preservation of Game,

The early settlers of the middle West
ern States found their beautiful valleys
and prairies abundantly stocked with ma
tive game. Bear and deer were to be
found in plenty, and various species of
the galinaceous birds nat1veto the coun-
try might be raised at any time in a five
minutes walk. The vast area of unin-
habited country left these untamed'd eni-
zens of the forest and prairie the safest
refuge from the attack of man, and to
these secure solitudes they gradually
Withdrew, as their enemy pressed them
more and more closely. The ratio of sup
ply to demand, as far as bird and beast
were concerned, was SO great that no
man troubled himself about the slight
inroads which his own hands might
make. All this, in many portions of the
West, was scarcely fifty years ago, in
others less than. half that time. But
now the relation of cleared and occupied
to uncleared land is reversed. The de-
stroyers of the native game have multi
piled on every hand, and the places once
a refuge from human havoc are a refuge
no longer. The earth ~fattens, prosperity
increases, but the native denizens of the
country are dropping farther and still
farther, till we shall soon know of them
only through their recorded scientific
descriptions Or the graphic tales of some
aged pioneer.
. With certain classes of our game ami
mails this result is not only unavoidable
but desirable. The bear, the wolf and
the species of the cat tribe which were
,roNN - 1-,,,I A. - II -.,1..
nightly raids on the sheep-fold and pig
sly have had their day and are gone.
But there is a large number of the game
birds of the West-the quail, the pleas
ant Tor PARTRIDGE and varieties of the
grouse, which seem by nature especially
fitted for a semi-civilized life, and which
seem to delight in a not too intimate
companionship with man. These beauti-
full birds are not only an ornament to
any mans land, but are wholly the
farmers friends, since the little grain
they consume is more than paid for by
the destruction of insects and the seeds
of noxious weeds.
The various States, through their game
laws, are protecting, to the best of their
Judgment, the breeding seasons of these
birds, and our sportsmen throughoutthe
country are lending their influence to
the enforcement of these laws. But the
motives of the sportsmen are somewhat
selfish in their character, since they look
to the law merely MS an ally which shall
preserve their shooting pleasures as long
as possible. The farmer, however, has
more disinterested motives for the pro-
lection and preservation of game, and
especially the birds, and it is very large,
ly to the farmer that we must look fol-
the successful carrying out of the laws
which are enacted for this purpose. A
very little care and attention to this
matter will be repaid a hundred fold.
4! Will not our farmers who have not al,
ready done sc give it their careful con,
cidaration e.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
STATISTICS SHOW hat of the thousands

STATISTICS SHOW hat of the thousands
who die annually, a large proportion are
destroyed, not by old age, or by the
natural exhaustion of vitality, but
through intemperance, or disregard
either on the part of the sufferer, or his
parents, of the simplest laws of nature.
Such being the case-and figures cannot
misrepresent facts-the conclusion is
that were the causes of incompetence, its
kindred vices, and a disregard of natu-
raj laws, removed, the average length of
the human lifetime would be extended
proportionately. What agent most rap
idly, harmleSSy and certainly will
eradicate these vices, Oh the tendency to
them, is the question which has been as
thoroughly and persistently agitated as
has the search for the Philosophers
stone. The discovery has been made by
DIR. Joseph Walker, whose widely known
VINEGAR BTTTERs are accomplishing
wonders which the old fogy doctors
never dreamed of. Try them and judge
for yourself, as thousands are doing all
over the country.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
A COMICAL NEWSPAPER HOAX.

The following is taken from "Grant's
History of the Newspaper Press: :"
About the same time as that to which I
have been referring-the beginning of
the last century-the debate, which was
on the question of the employment of
English laborers, being one evening un-
usually dull, Morgan O'Sullivan, a re-
porter of that period, who had a short
time before been imported from Tip
perary, said to the only other reporter in
the gallery at the time that he felt very
drowsy, and that he would be after taking
a little bit of a nap if he would tell him,
when he awoke, anything which might
take place. The other, whose name was
Peter Finnerty, agreed, and Morgan, in
a moment, was fast locked in the arms of
Morpheus. After an hour had elapsed,
Morgan opened his eyes and Intercepted
his friend thus
"Has anything happened?"
"To be sure there has," said the other.
elias there, by the powers !" exclaim-
ed Morgan, pricking up his ears in the
plenitude of his anxiety to learn what it
was.
eyes, Morgan, and something very
important, too"
"Be iabbers, then, and why don't you
be afther telling it me at once? What
was it about"
"About the virtues of the Irish potato,
Morgan"
"Was it the Irish potato you said,
Peter2"
"The Irish potato; and a most
eloquent speech it was."
"Thunder and lightning, then, and
why don't you tell it me at once2"
'In ditfrom my notebook, Morgan,
and you can take it down as 1 go on"
said Peter.
"Och, its myself, shure, that's ready
at any time to write what a mimber says
about our praties. Are you ready to
begin?"
"Quite ready" said Peter.
CHOW then," said Morgan, with an
energy which strangely contrasted with
the previous languor of his manner
"now then, Peter, my boy"
Peter, affecting to read from his note
book, commenced thus:
"The honorable member said that
il"
"Och, be aisy a bit," interrupted
Morgan /; "who was the honorable MINI
Der"
Peter, hesitating for a moment, "Was
it the name you asked?" Sure it was
Mr.. Wilberforce."
"Mr. WiIberforce! Och, very well,
then"
Peter resumed "Mr. Wilberforce
said that it always appeared to him be-
You'd all question that the great cause
why Irish laborers were, as a body, SO
much stronger and capable of enduring
so much greater physical fatigue than
the English, wa the SURPRISING virtue OF
their potato. And he"
"Peter, my dear fellow" shouted
Morgan, at the mention of the Irish
potato, his c~ountenance lighting up with
ecstasy as he spoke, "Peter, my dear
fellow, this is SO important that we must
give ii in the first person"
"Do you think So" said Peter.
"Troth, and I do" answered Morgan,
Every WELL" said the other,
Peter then resumed |: "And I have nc
! doubt" continued Mr., Wilberforce,
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17

This work has been looked for with the
greatest interest. Up to the day of his death
the doctor kept his records-during the last
few weeks writing them with the red juice of
berries across the face of old newspapers. These
records were in part brought home, closely
sealed, by STANLEY TIT remainder were
brought by his faithful attendants, who, at his
death, embalmed his body, transported it hun
dreds of miles OH their shoulders and accompa-
MED it to England. 1t is the most wonderful
book Of the age, and we are glad to know that
the American Publishing Company, of 11S Ran
dolph street, Chicago, have brought it out in a
popular form, beautifully illustrated, and at a
price within the reach of all. 1t must sell with
great rapidity, and VIC know of no other book 80
good for an agent to work on. 1t is sold only
by snbScrintiOn.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17

WI1HoFT's ToN1cl-A SAFE, SURE,
AND SCIENTIFIC CURE The unprecedented sale
Of this world-renowned medicine proves in
use Of this reliable Tonic, No spleen has been
found 20 hard as not to yield to its scftening
influence, and no liver so hypertrophied as not
to give up its long-retained bilious secretions.
and no Chill or Fever has yet refused to fall
into line, WHEELoeK, FIsLA1 d Co., Proprie-
| tors, New Orleans.
For SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS,
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17

There was a general reaction and improve
ment in grain circles during the past week, and
quite an active speculative business was trans
acted. As would naturally be expected, the re-
cent liberal decline in values induced an in
creased order demand, many speculative orders
being received from other markets and from
the interior. The first of June passed with but
very light deliveries on June contracts, and it
was well known that the markets were all
largely oversold. The short interest were there
fore buying freely, showing a general desire to
provide for their outstanding contracts. East
ern advices were of a more favorable tenor,
and holders and spectators showed less dispo-
sition to sell.
The following table shows the prices current
at the opening and close of the past week:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
A MAN OF A THOUSAND,

ACoNsUMPTIvE CURED.-When death was hourly OK
pected from Consumption, all remedies having
failed, accident led to u discovery whereby DR.. H. james
cured his only child with a preparation of Cnnnabis In
dica. He now gives recipe free on receipt of two stamp.
to pay expenses. There Is not a single symptom of Con
sumption that it does not dissipste-Night Sweats. Irri
tation of the Nerves, Difficult EIpectoration. sharp Pains
in the Lungs. Nausea at the Stomach, Inaction of the
Bowels, and Wasting of the Muscles. Address GRAD
DOCK It CO, 1892 Race Street, Philadelphia, Pa, Civ
ing name of this paper.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
SAVE MONEY! AND Harm Tho RON,

SAVE MONEY AND HEALTH.-The repu-
tation of tie Wilson shuttle sewing machine is
80 thoroughly established that no word in its
commentator is necessary. The plan adopted
by the manufacturers of this famous machine
Of placing their prices so low asJto come within
the reach of the poorer classes, certainly en-
titles them to the gratitude of those who are
really most in need ofsuch an article. Machines
will be delivered at any railroad station in this
county, FREQ of transportation charges, if or
dered through the company's branch house at
CANT catalogue and chrome circular free on ap-
plication. This company want a few more
good agents.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17

HABTTUAL constipation leads to the
following results: Inflammation of the kidneys,
sick and nervous headache, biliousncss, dyspep-
sia, Indigestion, piles, loss of appetite and
strength all of which may be avoided by being
regularin your habits, and taking, say one OF
Parsons PurgdtiUe Pills nightly for four OIL
six weeks.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
FINANCE AMI TRADE.
weekly Review of the Chicago Market.

The condition of the market was without
quotable change. The demand for favors was
only light and rates were easy at SOLO per
cent. on time, and 6@7 per cent. for call loans.
Bonds firm. Closing as follows:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17

TEXAS Distribution Of 65, 900 acres Of
land to emigrants, Address ]. E. FOSTER,
Emigration Bureau, Houston, Texas,
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17

GLEN FtoRA spHIsa WATER, at waukegan,
ILL.,, cures all kidney diseases.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17
SPELLED DOWN.
An Ode for the Time.
BY ROSE TERRY COOKE.

Oh Mary, go and bring the spoilers here,
And bring the spoilers here,
And bring the spoilers here,
To spell a match for me.
Her face was pale with many a doubt and fear,
But sadder home came she.
For Madam and Master have come in their best,
And Miss in the gArb Of her confidence dressed.
They stay not for study, they wait not for cali,
But come like the rushing of doves to the hall.
They stumble on eager, ae-a-g-r-e";
They walk into Office with as for a "c";
"Pur'suaded that sobriquet goes with a "u,"
And giving "superlatiye over to two.
You know Joe?
Sho! Joe Baker,
Who spelled it an "aker."
Say, stranger, you know,
He amt slow;
But the miser'ble boss
Spelled things all across
As true as you live
Re lei believe,
And beguile
Just like ''gile."
Oh Joe!
II the stern speller thinks he spells,
Or if the dictionary knows,
He knows not what old Webster tells,
"Probossis" does not stand for nose.
"Pthisikn and "a Stir to me are dear,
Receive and "greiye" are still the same,
"Unmoveable" by " dase" or "quear,"
And one to me are lame and 'fclame."
Zekle stood up there all alone,
His hands was in his pockets;
The cretur larfed, he might ha' known
He'd git sot down on 'lockits."
But some folks be as bold as brass,
Twas Hubby that got redder
To hear him spell for parsing "pass"
And "seythe " to NOW the medder!
She up and took a turn herself,
"Conciet" cut her down early,
"Deliyerence " laid her on the shelf,
And she was bust on "nurly."
II is the parsons daughter,
And she does spell SO queer, 80 queer,
I would I were beside her
To whisper in her ear
And ten her "Maccarony'sn wrong,
And rhythm is not right in song.
would not be "alpackcr"
About her dainty Z" waste"
Nor feel the "curius" "a ecstisy"
With which I once "embrased"
That damsel of "bewiching mean"
Lit up by blazing "paraphene."
go fallen! SO lostl the fame Withdrawn
Which once she wore,
Why did she leave us here TO "morn"
And then "deploar"?
Revile her not the language hath
A trap for all;
And he who speIleth "rath" for wrath
Must surely fall.
Then spell not reverence with an car
Nor Z" dunn" for dumb;
But turn aside your gaze and say
Her thyme hath come.
FAREWELL oh. farewell to thee, Webster al
"woostel
For madness is fast creeping over my brain
I spell chandelier and the boys call it rooster,
Oh J when will the spelling-book leave us agaiI
Far down in the sunless retreat of a cellar
I'll hide me from syllables swarming like flies;
A wretched, unfortunate, miss-maddened speller,
Who cares not a straw for the ~costliest prize.
Burn up my old school-books to-day, if you love m
Drown Webster and Worcester deep in the well
And write on the knocker so silent above me:
'There's nobody here that can read, write or spell
-Lpdependent.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17

How TO CIR A HOME. See advertisement.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17

The cattle market has been active and firm,
with values Csc per 100 lbs higher. Quality OF
offerings very good. Shipping steers, $1,000
$50 poor TO good, S6.0O@7.0O ; choice to ex.
ira stock steers, S3.50G4.75 6. Hogs active,
closing at SC. 4O@7.O0 for Workers, and sc. 75@
7.3O for common to choice heavy. Sheep dull
shorn, S3.0005. 25.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-06-17

- OF the prctticst CARDS you ever
saw with your name handsomely printed on
"a them, sens, postpaid, upon receipt Of % cents.
Your friends will all want them when they see
yours. Address W. q. CANNON,
.46 Knesland St, Boston, Mas.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-04-30
BY James l.. Apperson,
Real Estate Auctioneer and Agent
No. 1016 Main street.

COMMISSIONERS SALE OF THE
" VERY VALUABLE PROPERTY KNOWN
AS TIE MONUMENT HOTEL.-By viriue Of Il
decree Of the Chancery CouIt of the city Of Rich
monti entered on The Goth Fenluarv, 1873. and by
consent OF all the partits In interest We shall as
special commissioners thereby appointed sell on
the premises, ut auction, on. THURSDAY the
Goth day of May. 1875, ii > O'Clock L. N If
fiir II not. the next fair day thereafter, the we'll
known aud truly valuable MON UMENT HOTEL
PROPERTY al the northwest corner Of Grace AND
Ninth streets, froutine on the form err sc leet
on the latter 63 dip icet, with Il Jepth on lhe
north line OF 1870 feet. aud width on the rear line
OF 10 PIP feet for that depth The tel IS partly
three and partly four stories above lbe biScmcutS
and contains sixty rooms 1.-THE wooden teremeht
adjoining contains seven rUODS) Kitchens laundry
servants apartments. stables, Carrlape-holise. &c.
situated il the geographical centre Of The city in
front of Cspitol street AID the handsome Capitol
SuIlare, with an elevation lnSuring healthful air
and fine views of the surrounding country, 1t Is
Justly considered as the most dtSirGhl. posili'
within It's limits fra MCCIi-NEEDED FINE HOT Ell.
TERMS: one nth cash; baaucc in ,quai install
tl,rty.six. forty-two fOry.eipht, fifty. four. and
Sky months, with interest payable half yearly on
all thc deferred payments. for negotiable notes for
each separate intallnent Of principal aud of inter-
est and title retained until the who'll purchase
money Is paid and Il conveyance directed by the
court. MlLLlAM GEEfN,
A. l.. BUTL WARE,
ap2S Special Commissioners
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-04-30
by Frank ID. Hill,
Real Estate Agent and Auctioneer,
HOS Main street.

UCTION SALE OF VERY VALUA-
MAIN STRkE!, BETWEEN FIRST AND Sc
COND SrREhTS.-On TUESDAY, May 4. 1873.
on the premises. AT ~ O'Clock 7. NJ, by request OF
able PROPERTY above described. he house Is
we'll built of stock bI lex with granite window-sills
and Is four stories In ludiug basement, and con-
tans about ten rooms besides. brick kirchen with
four rooms b,ick stab", sc. The lot fronts 30 by
so feet 10 an alley 10 Common, AMI has good Gull
vert.
1t Is seldom that an opportunity occurs 10 pur-
chase property so we'll built AMI so centrally 10.
Gated; anu as the neiglborhOod is excellent this
sale shonld attract the attention of parties desiring
L good family residence.
The terms are unusually neutrality-suspicious.
cash: balance In six, twelve. eighteen and twenty.
four months, with -iX per cent. interest added. Sc
cured ny deed Of trust. FRANK ID. HILL,
mn 27 AucIiOnccr
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-04-30
BY James NJ. Taylor & Son,
Real Estate Agents and Auctioneers,
office col ner Eleventh and Bank streets.

COMMISSIONERS SALE OF A VERY
~ VALUABLE TRACT OF LAND ON THE
Mocha N1CSVILLE TURNPIKE, NEAR THE
CITY OF RICHMOND, AT AUCTIUN..-Bi vir.
tue Of TWO ducrees OF the Chanccry CourI OF the
city of Richmond. entered on the I'd and 1 In days
OF February, ! S75. in The suits of Blnford rerSLS
Blnfords administrator, aud Cox's executor tersuS
Binford, Sc, WE shall, rs special commissioners
thereby appo nrcd, sell at public auction, upon me
premises, on MONDAY The 81 day OF MAY. 10,
&c IL O'Clock NJ, the VALUABLE FARM as
above located. in the county OF Hanover. within
five miles Of the city OF kichmond. containing
two hundred and tw. nty-one ana One-fOurih acres,
more or less. and bouI ded fullows-viZ.: on the
east by the lands OF Thomas AGREE, oil the south by
the Chickahominy river, on The wesl by he Me
chanicsyille turnpike and on the north by tue
County 10 I'd To Truehearis mill.
TERMS: Cash sufficient 10 pay the expenses OF
sale-say about S3O0-and the residue In three
equal insaments al one. two und three years,
bearing six per cent. interest from the day Of sale
ill paid the purchaser to execute bonds with good
personal securit, for the def rred payments, and
the title 10 he retained until The whole purchase
money IS paid and L conveyance Is ordered by the
Court.
If deemed expedient, the tract will be subdlyided
into smaller Parcels on the day of SALE
~. JOHN A. MEREDITH,
GEORGE W. RICHARDSON,
.H. NJ. NJ. GILLIAN,
JOHN y. STEGER,
aD2l Commissioners.
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-04-30
BY Lyme i BroaheE,
Real Essate Agents and AustianeeTs,

EXECUTORS AND TRUSTEES SALE
h OF VALUABLE IMPROVED AND UNlM-
PROVED ZEAL ESTATE ON LOUISIANA
AND ORLEANS STREETS ALAOlNI>G THE
PROPERTY OF JOHN f.. BOSS iEUX AND
LANES HARTLY, IN k0CkEf1S, FOX SALE
AT AUCTION WIN be sold ut public auction. on
the premises. on WEDNESDAY, 5th day OF May,
1875, at s O'Clock p. NJ, In the order named-fIst,
THREE LOTS on the east line OF Louisiana street
between Fifth and Sixth streets, fronting each
about 81 feet. Gu one or the lots there Is large
BRICK bWELLlNG. coniainiug about eight
rooms, with kitchen, &c. Also, FOUR LOTS
fronting on Orleans street respectively 81 feet,
"a feet Inches, SO feet, and "a feet inch.
TERMS OF SALE. One-four,h cash; residue al
six, twelve, and eighteen months for negotiable
notes. interest added aud title 10 be retained until
same are paid and . Conveyance ordered by the
court. LYME 3 BROTHER,
ap29 Anctoneers,
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-04-30
1ooouAcuy-AN OrRnoGRArulcAL Cow:

loaoMAcny Az OTRnoGRArnlcAL Cow
arxucArsoN.-Mr. Editor, In ycs'cfds'.s.
Iyohnas sleigh yough LIGHTER :" X. !: r.
OH, the demighs OF the authonghgrapn,cha'
maineah. Youch abr aughl cav "fcchtu.
Aughter soush tough cigh tus'le win QUIZ,
awrihogrcghphcgb Ugh thlnquc II inu<seu
hoo ,iubcrcd and awcht tcau digh ~ re
Guishcsskaght inn pai,ce." Ish aim ghladd
Tough hci5r 700 sciug lights reaqu'ghumss
sough bew,cighphoolicsh and hoap yeugn
win s;rcugh phIough"r> ard skash''or
pnrsnckinscnse o,rc III iooghmo e'ere'sh
Sundeigh. VOUCHERS. LOTHIAN MiSRo"'
in Cincinnati Times.
The words above are spelled according 10
the sounds PIT upon the letters in other
words. Thus "Tishms" is so spelled be-
cause high" is SO spelled rather than
chi" laughter" is good because laugh v
is equal TO "at" in " laugh" &c, &c.