St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-01-08
Squibs.

Artificial butter making has never
proved success. The difficulty lies in
pUtting IN the hairs 50 that they look
natural. 70re Hdute Gdc.
When we see il man begging his to-
hacco, We feel like reminding him of the
old adage that beggars must not be
chcw-Scr>.' . whitehall Times.
\ Young fellow in Grundy county,
Iowa. wanted to charge his girl 30 cents
for his picture, Informing her ut the
time that il originally cost quarter.
\ Milwaukee woman's bonnet costs,
upon an average, about SIS, but she
has the bill made out for so or $40, i'll
order to show it to the woman next
door.
"Havc Won Goldsmith's Greece 2"
WAS asked Of the clerk i'll IL store in
which books and various miscellaneous
articles WAS sold. NO" said the clerk
retlrctively. 1--WE haven't Goldsmith's
Greece, but We have some splendid
hair oil"
Miss Kellogg says that American
girls have the sweetest voices i'll the
world. When one of them puts her
mouth to II hole in the fence and ''hol-
lcrs" to the girl next door to fetch
back them crimping IRONS" it fills the
air with melody.
Maria is Il very popular name i'll Hi
nois. When IL eat climbs Il back fence
III Il well-populated neighborhoOd and
plaintivrIy calls out Maria" :" twenty
or thirty windows are hastily thrown
up. from which protrude twenty OF
thirty female heads wildly answering
Nv hat
/ The Galveston NeWS is in error when
it SAYS that this paper has ''endeavored
! to rcprcSS the pride of its city readers
Every subscriber is allowed as much
! pride as he can stand up under, and
special inducements are offered to get
trrS up of clubs Louisville Courier
.JOHrHdi.
/ At Il competitive examination for
prize for the best composition at a
grammar school in this city, one of the
etluSions handed in contained the fol-
/ lowing passage: A man who has been
born and bred in the lap of luxury is
more apt to succumb to bedbug poison
than the hardy pioneer of our Western
forests.
\ confidential clerk III Il Chicago cat
tie yard has just skipped out with sew
eral thousand dollars. The New York
Commercial thinks he has probably tax
Ell passage tor Cowcs.-Er. Steer-age
passage perhaps, eli Yes; and from
CuNcS he goes direct to Oxford, to study
law odt of >hecp>kin volumes; he
wouldn't be the first muttonhead that
does it. The motto of his disseI tation
will OF course he in hog Sjgmo rinces.
\ chap from the Western part of the
State went to bed ut one of the hotels
the other night. and blew ont the gas
instead of turning it off. The gas
rushed out. the room WAS close, and in
about half an hour the smell became SO
strong that the stranger got out of bed,
opened the door and shouted for the
clerk. The clerk came up and de-
mandcd to know what was up. Il
never stopped in Detroit over night
before" replied the stranger, land
don't know but this smell is all right,
but it pears to me us if something had
: busted somewhere"
An Atlantic, Ga, man, who had sew
eraI times been employed as a gallows
builder. and made sort of speciality of
this industry, was rejected as II juryman
in Il murder trial the other day, on the
ground that he was an interested party.
\ South Carolina jury is in doubt
I whether Il recently married suicide died
, of too few cunnubial felicities or too
many con-iug-al facilities.
| \ colored preacher in South Carolina
puts his foot on excessive bribery at
t elections and crushes it. "Dis ting"
= he says. sob gittin' 500 for a vote is all
4 wrong, SO Is iIS much as it's wort! -
. DR.. Albert Lull, of Nashua, n. H.,
= has dog who recently found a-pocket
book his master had lost, and on one
! occasion picked up il twenty-five cent
! scrip and carried it home. No career
!. is closed to Il dog that commences by
= laying up scrip.
\ Sillygism-The good die young.
Brigham, the Mormon, will die Young,
therefore brigham is good. - Lo,ceU
courier.
Jennie June got IL hat that turned up
+ on one side. and her husband criticised
it 81 severely that she wore her old
. bonnet when she went to see the Sphinx,
: and 10 il was the only one there. Ev-
=, cry body had on Il new hat, and every
one had it turned up high on the sides.
Said her husband, Good heavens! have
all the women gone crazy p Yes"
. replied she, meekly, ''and why can't
90 crazy too p My dear" said he,
n You may it would he ridiculous to be
the only sensible woman in the world" !"
:. So hereafter she is going to wear her
+, gray felt, turned up on one side, i'll
A. peace.
e \ man from the States opened a
e drinking saloon i'll Victoria, Nancouver's
/ Island, and his very first hours expert
d ence was lively. Six Indians filed in
with great gravity. One of them took
II position at the right of the proprietor
II behind the bar with an uplitted scalp
ing knife, and another stood at his left
with musket A third poured six
q tum oilers full of whisky, and the fluid
= was silently run down six throats.
d Then the solemn patrons filed out with
c out Il word, leaving the man prejudiced
d against the saloon business on Nancou-
e ver's Island.