The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-12-23
ODDS AND ENDS.

Like fairy gold a space endured
Like withered leaves are hopes long dead"
ODDS AND ENDS.
The proud are ever most provoked by
pride.
TIE infinitely little have pride inf
nitely great. sa
The most successful kind of metal
these days appears to be brass.
The good little bootblack's epitaph-
Gone to shine among the angels.
The latest way to check bore is to
say, Write me the rest on paper.
THE last performance that Samson
gave literally brought down the house.
The troublesome visitor who has been
shutting the doors after him all summer
now begins to leave them open.
PEOPLE said she was pretty, elegantly
dressed, and all that, but when she said,
"You hadn't oughter," they grew as cold
as ice. s. az
The only little boy that never was
mistaken for Charlie Ross has just died
Ill Odudud. 1lC was d lu1sCldUlC 1ib0l0
dried-up thing, anyway.
A MINNESOTA paper makes young
poetess say, "Oh, for a heart full of
sweet yearlingsi" The poetess wrote to
the editor that she wrote yearningsl"
and that the printer who setit up year
lings" was calf.
THE editor sat in his easy-chair
n;n d. G,,o flr o..ohh de hafr
And terribly tempted to curse and swear
He had not received his exchanges.
Paste and scissors were by his side
Scissors he had so often piled, .
Yet now of a clipping he was denied
He had not received his exchanges.
Oh, it made the imp of the office stare
To see the editor rumple his hair,
And his eyes had most unearthly glare
He had not received his exchanges.
Twas almost time to go to press
And the editor said aHere's blank Of mess.
I'll order some patent insides by express,
And depend no more on exchanges"
The BROOKLYN Argus says that the
classical " ladies of Boston don't know
enough about music to tell when mos
quito is fling Yankee Doodle. Yes, but
they can tell when the festive insect is
doing "Hum, Sweet Hum" says the
Post.
In North Siam, when they go to law,
they have "a curious CUSTOM" Both
parties to the suit are put under water,
and whoever remains there longest wins
the case. With us the custom is differ
ent. Both parties, being in hot water,
are kept there, without reference to the
RIGHT on either side.
IT having been demonstrated that
mixture of water with crude petroleum
intensifes fame, an imaginative geolo-
gist theories that the ultimate destruc-
ton of the world by fire will be accom-
plished by the ocean tides coming in
contact with the oil contained in the
crust of the earth.
No matter what comes upon you,
don't give up to it. Look it square in
the eye. Don't let it see you finch. If
sorrow has entered your life, and has
rendered it bleak and cherries, don't
bow down before it like "a reed shaken
in the wind" but drive it out of your
existence-cut it up, root and branch.
Don't let it put you down under its
feet.
A DETROIT boy paid his first visit to
one of the union schools the other day as
a scholar, and when he came home at
night his mother inquired: "Well,
Henry, how do you like going to
school ?" :" Bullyl" he replied in an e1-
cited voice. al saw four boys licked,
one girl got her ear pulled, and big
scholar burned his elbow on the stove !!
I don't want to miss day."
A CAPUCHIN father was discoursing
on the character of ST. Francis, till the
enumeration of the holy mans graces
had become very tedious, when the
preacher suddenly exclaimed, by way of
climax: "Where shall we put this
saint, raised as he is above angels, arch
angels, and all virtues w Here one of
the congregation rose to his feet, "Put
him in my place, for am going"
"WHAT makes me love my pretty, del
icate little blue-eyed boy" said the fond
father, as he and the pastor entered the
library, " is that sometimes the tears run
down the wrinkles in my cheeks as / feel
fine points touching me to the core, and
wonder if God will let him stay with me
very, veryn-here the fond father sat
down on pin. and said, Mariar, will
you force me to go to restaurant to get
my dinner?" t
THERE is no art or science that is toe
difficult for Industry to attain to; it is
the gift of tongues, and makes man un.
derstood and valued in all countries and
by all nations. 1t is the philosopher
stone that turns all metals, and even
stones, into gold, and suffers no want tc
break into its dwelling. 1t is the north
west passage that brings the merchants
ships to him as soon as he can desire
In word, it conquers all enemies and
makes fortune itself pay contribution.
AN editor relates how colored barbe
: made a dead-head of him. He Offered
him the usual dime for shaving, whel
) the fellow drew himself up with consid
| erable pomposity, and said: al under
| stand dat you is an editor" Well; wba
, of it |" says we. "we neber charge ed
/ itors muffin" "But, my worthy friend,
D we continued, "there are good man,
E editors travelling nowadays; and sucl
liberality on your part would prove
1 ruinous business" "Oh, neber mind,
: remarked the barber, eve make it up oi
de gemmen."