, 1875-07-03
A Widows Mishap,

In that portion of our city where the "ras-
ged edge Of Piety Hill meets and mingles
with the lower and more level portion of the
town, called by the piOus th9 CITY Of the
Plain, lives blooming widow, who having
worn her weeds patiently for several years,
has lately come 10 the discrimination TO sacri-
nee another victim to the altar Of Hymen, IN
! Other words, she Is On the marry. Casting
I her hazel eye over the circle OF her gentlemen
| HcquHIntHnces she selected 4 wel!-tU-do attor-
/ ney OF one OF the towns up the valley as the
| sui lect on which her blaadishine:i's We're TO
be triUi- This gentleman being al town on
business connected with the Circuit Court
now IN session, the mutual friend, dodge,
lately become ~ prominent IN a certain notO-
nous love affair, sprung on him and he
WIS Inyeigled into calling upon our heroine
one day III the early part OF the week.
Knowing that her intended victim was in
clIned 10 be ParslmonIOus, and # he married 1t
would D. to some one who could and would
work and take good care of him and his
snug home, she determined, In order to pro-
duce the most favorable eject, 10 30 caught
by him IN The act of dusting and putting il
order her abode Long before the time at
which he was expected she arrayei herself i'll
a neat and tidy costume, just suited to tho
end in ziew, and then proceeded to adorn her
head with one OF those pieces Of muslin worn
by tidy housenaids while sweeping, which
she arranged IN the most coquettish manner
possible. carefully adjusting one of her u
long silky curls to APPEAR as If ty accident es-
capped from its fastening, all the while keep
ing sharp lookout for the approach of the
expected visitor Aud thus il came TO pass
t.F h.p h.. J. hs,,l h.. la4n nf
the gate she WAS ut the front door in the act
of STOPPING, broom aud dust-pan III hand, adj
juS'inS the mat Hearing his step ON the
walk she looked up, her face, flushed from
STOPPING, wearing an exIr ssion of pleased
surprise az his appearance, mingled with en-
barras-ment 4: being caught iu the perform
anCe ut her hOusewIiely duties. and started for
ward TO greet him, whea, horrible to relate.
she steppd on her dress, causing her TO pitch
forward in II most ungracefGl position, her
knees ON the threshold and her hands resting
on the top step. Nor did she stop here, fog
Inc Impetus OF her fail was SO great that her
heels flew into the air and after balancing
herself on the end of her nose Tor an instant,
as If taking Retrospective glance al worldly
affairs from aerial stand point, came down
kerchu; On the next step. driving two hair
pms through her Sca!P and clInt hing them or
the other side. when with Il gel like a lost
spirit, she turned complete handspring
and came down on the walk in L sitting pus-
;ure, the dus'-Pan flying off at a tangent and
the broom coming; down with n whaek that
awohe the echoes Of blocks around. The as
touI-hed limb OF the law, horritied at the ter
rible aspect she presented, fled for his life.
clearing the palings at bound, and never
stopped running and looking over his shOul-
der to see if she was following him, till hs
was sgfe locked in his room at the Cheineketa-
a. for the widow, she was assisted to her
room. BY the aid of n surgeon she was ena-
bled to take off her "back hair" and after
having ;he wreck Of her upper set eKca-
vated from her tongue she Is feeling better,
though 10 yet able to sit up. Ii is unneces-
sarv to state ,ha, she has not said anything
as Vet about the affair, but the expression of
her eye b1des DO good to that lawyer. Our
advice to him l. that Of the elder Weller to
his son Beware Of vidders, Samiyel, be-
ware Of vidde1s I''-SaieM Mercury.