The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1875-08-05
The Boy at the Soda Fountain.
A srARTLING TALE THAT HE TOLD TO !
POOR OLD LADY THAT WAS THIRSTY.
[From the Detroit Free Press.l


Tie was rinsng the glasses when the old Idly
entered the store. TWAS hot weather. and
the soda fountain looked SO tempting that she
conquered her avarce and walked over and
told the boy that she would take glass.
.sDo you wish for fly in it 90 he inquired
in whisper.
"a fly? erasmus no ~ she replied, look OF
disgust on her face.
'.Just as you say, madam he went on as he
drew some lemon syrup. ''Pcople are so diff
ferent in tastes, you KNOW Some object. to
flies gnd some don't. I'll mix some pineae1
syrup with this lemon, and now will YOU IAsa3
a great deal of gas and little water, or a glG21
deal of water and a little gasp
I'm purity thirsty" she said.
swell, thep, you want more water than gas,
and there won't be so much danger Of an ex-
plosion.'
''Explosion." she queried.
's'That was the word, madam. We have had
but few such accidents here this summer, and
truly hope that we may have no more.'
.SDoes soda water blow up folks?"
''That depends on the state of their health
Some people could stand here and drink al
day, while others might get the glass tipped up
this way. and boom they'd go -
"Hust?''
s.Yes'm-hy into thousand pieces. You
never saw u human being explode, did you ~
'sMercy, no p
swell, you don't have the least warning
They may be laughing or talking, and all at
once the store is filled With false hair, mono
gram garters, bnstles, corsets, feet, teeth, and
rolled plate iewelry. 1t makes great muss
around here, and if we hadn't three of the
smartest negroes in town to pick up and sweep
out we'd have to shut lip the store for whole
afternoon after an explosion
He stood with the glass in his hand agitating
the syrup and waiting, and she said:
II didn't suppose it was dangerous
stuff
s'Well, as told you, it depends on the state
of the system. If your liver is torpid and your
digestion impaired, one glass of soda water
would blow you higher than Gideroy; S kite,
and the coroner would be lucky TO find as much
as your spectacles to hold an inquest on Ii
your system is all right, you might drink Il
hundred glasses and feel no disastrous effects.
Now, then, you'll have a good deal Of water
but little gas, eh!
She made a deprecatory motion and ask
ed:
s'Iow's the stuff made?''
'sWell, / can't 90 on and explain all the pro-
cess. There's marble dust, acid, gas, sugar
coated pills, giant powder, cologne water and
kerosene all mixed together and then distilled.
The distilled liquid is placed ina retort, where
a chemical action separates it, and the gas for
ces it up separate pipes"
kerosene ana pits :" she gaSpet
s.That's what said madam. You look in
nocent and honest, and hope yon won't say
anything about it. tend this fountain in or
der to support q widowed mother and seven
fatherlcss children. II yon would say any
thing I'd he discharged and if | were discharg-
ed | should commit suicide. You'll have pleli-
ty of water, ell ?"
no. sir, | WON'T" she replied. do you
suppose I'd drink acids and keroscne?''
Mot in their crhde state, madam, but this
process
Il don't care for the process y she snapped ;
Il wouldn't touch the sutf?''
sit IS a mild beverage, madam, and the
doc: ~ r@
..Well, don't want any. When I go to
sWallcring tar and lard and kerosene you'll
know it /! S'posen | drank some and explo-
ded -
''Don't mention it y he whispered ''Don't
speak OF it ~
''I'm sorry for yon, young man, but there
a constable living right in sight of our house,
and | think I-I--''
you'll drive me to a suicides grave you
mean!''
She lowered her spectacles, took a long look
at him, and went out without replying.
y.tl