Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1875-10-14


heavy wedding cake, in order that she |
might dream of her future husband. |
She dreamed that a man with teeth a |
foot long, dogs feet and hair lip, |
sat on her all night; and rather than |
marry him, she contemplated suicide |
and an early tomb, where the bobo.
links sing.
She found him in Seventh street
restaurant idling his time away She
didn't say, ''Father, dear father, come
home with me now,@ but she clenched
her fist, and shaking it lively, remark.
ed, "You'd better get down to the
9enche, old Seeding, before the clock
strikes again, or mothers mash yonr
head in with crowbar, and he won
dered out like one in a'dreRm.
AT a city market the other day,
pale-faced solemn man to ok off his
hat smoothed back his hair, and said
my friends, we know. not how soon
may fall by the wayside. We stand
here to -day-next week we may sleep
r With the dead. feel that have only a
few days more to stay, and wish
some ofyou would lend me ffteen cents
so that can get dish Of baked beans
The crowd at once moved away.
A Danbury couple have nice little
daughter of some five summers. A lady
visitor observed to the mother, ''What
pretty child you have! She must be
agreat comfort to you aShe is In
Decd" said the fond mother ''When
I'm mad at John, I don't have to
speak to him. She calls him to his
meals and tells him to get the coal,
and other things that want. She's
real handy"
y s"No," he said contemptuously, "it's
easy enough for man to make money.
now -adays. Times are different from
what they was. Then there was solid
work about it. Now all you have to
doEs take your surplus and buy things
when they are low and sell
them when they are high, and there it
is in a nutshell. A child could de it.
By the way" he added, "could you
lend me half a dollar for few days"
II Norwich Bulletin.
Two young men walking down
Washington street yesterday were dis
cussing the means of obtaining
smoke. ''I'ye got counterfeit half
dollar" said one. "Can't you pass it p
asked the other 81 don't know: YOU
might" ''Mep' and the young mans
face became one continuation of an
elongated exclamation point sMe !
why, the very fact of my having SO
much money would create suspicion"
-lVicksburg Herald.
They were husband and wife, and as
they stood before the Soldiers Monu-
ment she asked
What's that figger on topp'
"That's goddess" he answered
"And what's goddess ?"
"a woman who holds her tongue, p
he replied
She looked side ways at him and be
gan planning to make peach pie will
the pits in it for the benefit his sorC
tooth. -T Detroit Free Press
A Famous brigand, by name Aliano
has Just been beheaded at Potenza in
the Neapolitan province, after convic-
ton Of fifty nine murders and attempt.
at murder. He made little speecl
at the last moment, thus "People o
Potenza! Let my death be an exampl
toyOu. Fathers, rear up your children
properly. True, my father reared M
we'll, but was an assassin. suffer
merited death--pray for me-" Wit
an save Maria" on his lips, his hea,
was severed from his body by the exc
cutioner. -.
A Sunday school picnic was recent
held IN grove near town. A pomp
ous mRn-who was an ex- Sheriff, an
who seemed to be a sort ofssking bee
among the people, superintended a
Heterogeneous. Large tables wer
Lsv.~Aa2 -. =
good things. As soon as everything
was ready for the feast a number o
children grabbed up knives and fork
and "N entin," when the ex Sheri
howled out, "Hold on, you id hogs
viii You ~ Then in milder tone b
said TO one of the ministers present
Brother --, will you ask bless
ing 2"-EKingston freeman.
. eEComing up street Saturday mornin
last our attention was called to littl
boy and girl who were having a ws
OF words. The girl said to the boz
"Yonrfather hasn' t got so much NOR
ey-as my pa.p The boy at once stuc
his hands in his pockets and the side
outward about a foot on each sid
turned his~feet in, moved a very bi
''hunk'' of pitch to the port side of b
mouth, and replied in very scornfu
manner, ''You hadn't better talk; vol
dress amt buttoned behind-ah, ha I
With that he waltzed away as perfect
ly satisfied that he had annihilated th
girl, blasted the prospects of her p,
rents, and made himself hero.
An eminent lawyer, of Boston, tel
thefollowing joke A flashily dresse
young sprig entered Ben Buffers G
tice and was requested by Benjamin
be seated. The request was compile
with and the young man was asked
state his business ''Well, Mr.. ]
what would be the frst thing for n
to do to learn the profession p Benz
min fixed his weather eve upon Il
nobby dressed young man and surve
ed him from his fashy necktie to h
highly polished boots and exclaime,
s'The first thing you had better
would be to go and roll in q ba
yard" An answer came as quick
the suggestion in the following tel
language: "If I should come al
study two years in your office, wouldl