Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1875-10-14

YIN "a Z hxOG UnOOEn i 0xUhE
The cheapest east Of the Atlantic coast, where the
Cheap john style is never practiced by advertising
such as "Great Sacrifice" "Fearful Slaughter" or
"Below Cost, etc., where you will be received with
that peculiar smile of nine, and then Til make
dive for your "weasel skim One fault of mine is
/ had always been overpolite in Germany. came
pretty near being put in prison while in the
old country for the very same reason, butt in
this glorious country they ask me invariably for
credit if L practice on them my French style of
etiquette but the greatest crimes a man may be
guilty of are being Dutch, getting drunk and playing
the fiddle. But have been led away from the thread
of my story. No woman is or can be happy without
good Tea or Coffee. Then, why don't you call at my
store and please your wife, and particularly myself
and you all like to hear your children laugh; we'll
then. bring them to my Toy and Candy stere, and
you will hear their merry voices ring in the air like
little silver bells. My line of School Books scom
plete. And, If you won't buy down with intelli-
gence and up with the flag of superstition there is
still remnant of barbarity left at my in the
shape of pint and half pint TASKS, which will loan
on a deposit of a dime. and after they are empty
charmless you may return them and I-won't give
you cent. have originated new idea in having done
away with the middleman, and the money i save in
this way give away, for allow nobody to interfere
between me and my customers. ] also keep none OF
that seven years itch in the shape of travelling
bummers. you not obliged to help pay for kid
gloves stovepipes cigars, whiskey, etc My business
is honorable and respectable, and deal in hing
that is damaged, unsound or adulterated. Young and
old, rich and poor, can buy of me for cash. will
not trust half of the people, because do not know
do know them can afford to advertise, because
cannot afford to people pass my store to
terprising business man who sows his seed in the
columns of tbs GRANT COUNTY HERALD, and is
turned to him an hundred fold; or, as Mark Twain
has it, "There is Millions in it," And I, fool,
like the farmer have an inalenable right to be most
happy and satisfied with myself and that man is the
biggest fool of the three who is of different nion
Courtesy is the watchword of my establishment to
cash customers, to whom will sell cheap because
cannot help myself account of that big heart of
miney and for that very reason my name will be
handed down to posterity. Instructions given free
of charge to the poor show to become rch.' and
they especially invited. Having been poor once
myself administer to their wants by experience.
1 still look upon the Blind Robin as a staple article
of food for those French gentlemen who would like
TO eat oysters if they could pay for them Saturday
night. Admission free, usual, but makes you see
much troubles before you get out. Remember, this
is the biggest house west of the Pacific coast.
j. BIEG.
P. S.-Goods delivered free of charge to all parts of
the city by good-looking Dutch Boy, who is entitled
to the sympathy of the entire community. because
he was born in Germany, and on that account he
can be President. j. ID.