, 1875-05-02
HUAIOR

The and Of sverything-The lsttsre.
What is the form Of m escaped p&r1ot7 4
| polly-gone.
In culling the flowers Of poetry, no ons ahou'd
miss Cullen Bryant
You csn't weigh m eel with scales. because
they have no scales, you know.
| IT wish was pudding, mammal "Why?"
"'Cause should have such lots Of susar put
! into me-" .. :,
4 gentleman observing the sign Of Csswell" !"
| upon business establishment, remarked that it
Wonld be 'sas-,reu without the c."
- Artists have adopted many amb1sms of charity
| We wonder none Of them ever thought OF =
piece OF lndiz rubber, which gives more than
sny other substance.
| When q conductor on Syracuse car shouted
sRuggtes street," the other night, a rnan who
haa been doing in the coxner started up aod
said: "Ruggles Heat7 Whare's Rugglaa7 Shox
me Ruggles, quicx!"
4 butcher sold sailor ham on credit, but
finding in fsw days that he ha5 gone to seo.
he erowled, III I'd a known that ho wasni
goirs to pay for it, I'd = charged him thre%-
pence more pound for it, the rascal"
An editor who ia evidently q man Of family
eaEaty remarks that boy who will ye1l liae
Tartar i y drop OF water gets on his ahirt-band
when his neck il being washed, VIII crawl
of it.
stinu amt I. Well, Ro5in. ha;e YOU enioved
yourseh?" Robin: oh yes, asr,s but wish
hadn't come. Brother Jim is suro to cry
'Halvea!' when get home, and, il I say you
didn't give me nothing. hsn punch my head for
4 tai stranger entared = saloon On Front
quited: 4.Is there ANYBODY here who wants 10
lick ma?" "Yesl yes:" exclaimed he1t-a-dozap
loafe1a in chorus. as they rosa up, II thought
there was!" coolIy replied the stranger, "a he
opened tho door and walked out.-DetroR Free
.Fress.
Two rather intrusive acquaintancea OF II.
g. determined to take him by surprise by go
ing uninvited to spend week with him. They
had just arrived, And, in talking Of the journey,
one Of them remarked to their heat that thoy hld
passed through some beautiful corn-delds or
their WAY. s.You will aee some much finer ouea
on your way back Tomorrow" replied the host.
Some one OF the company at tea with Spring
street family spoke OF the excellence Of thu
honey, whereupon the head OF the house, wi.a
stands in reputed dread OF hie wife, feaIingly
obsaTed: ..Honey is the most delicious Of
delicacles. It is the nectar Of beautiful flowers,
tiring bee and nodded into glory that woaid
his wife, with stern aolemnity, s.hAya you besn
drinking again7" Ephraim gro.ned.-Dun6ury
Nezos.
"Rob," said Tom, (which is the most dan.
sss S0fa sid II K So h1sa sas IT,
= aswe.ring word" 'Pooh!" said Tom, "it's
stumbled, because you are su1o to get tumble
between The first aud last letter. .Hat ha!
said Bob: Now rve one for you- ! found il
word IN the English 1anguago?- "Valetudl
na11anisu, said Tom promptly. "No, sir; til
snsttes, because there's whole mi1s between tho
frat and the last letter." ''Ho! ho!" cried
Tom, '*tnat's nothing. know a word that has
ing" s.What'a thas7" asked Bob family.
''Reaaguered," said Tom.
Mrs. Partington is conaidered mythical pez-
sou - evolved" from the brain Of Nj. Shillat1r,
but her counterparts are often found in real Life,
One Of these ladies MAS overheard at An evening
just passing: 1Wdhy, she Is psffect % psrsgrsn a
OF = young lady!" IL think you mean parallel
ogram; do you not p suggested the vaggiah
gentleman addressed II said parallelogram,
Mr. -" exclaimed the lady, with comb1na-
sczibe. :.-..
.'Do you intend 10 nadsticate your lonze p in-
quired Western lady Of friend OF m1ne who
WAS building. He was critical. cultured New
Englander, - exact ss witty. What droil look
Bays ! can eat Like an anaconda, ard am
blessod with the digestion Of n ostrich; hut,
really, madam, don't think I eoald manage my
three-stoTy brick"
This makes mo think Of Leigh HINTS reply
mot at all nnalpropy) to lady who said to him
it dinner: LII. Hunt won't yon venture on
10 oranga?" II would most gladly, dear
madam, Only Tn afraid should tumble on."
But to keep to our theme. 4 lady listing
Washington for the first timn saut word 70
aeuds. at home that sha was drea5Ifnliy disap-
pointed; she meant to have got an 1ntiian Blu
eau for Jennie's roou. but there weren't sny to
70 had and that she was 30 baay shampooing
'opng lady from on: place 70 another that Bhe
lad no time to write letters.
4 rather old girl {~ho had been Iured to Cali
orriA by the cheering information THAI she waa
ure to marry there) laid setge to = wealthy Wild
wer, who at first showed signs Of suecnmbing,
ut finally resisted the attack. AZ usual with
tonen who arc feeling intensely disappointed,
be didn't ca1ei no, not ono bit" and she
1claimed, half sobbing to u bosom friend:
Why, I wouldn't be hired to marry him. not il
. was perfect TsnusF' As money VIE his
hief cham, We suppose sha meant Croesas.-
erStnAS. hur