Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1875-02-15
A tea set-the Chinese

a tea set-tne Chlnese.
Something about whitewater.
Death warrants in Latin-physieians
prescriptions
New England is certainly "out in the
cold nova days.
You can always get view of Cologne
in an apothecary shop.
How to get rid of catarrh in your nose
cut the nose of.
DIR. Bartol Of Boston. has been giving
the spiritualistS rap" which they do
not enjoy.
The best way to improve woman's lot
is to build house on it and put a good
man in the house.
Said Kate to her new husband. John.
What rock does true love split upon ?"
Quoth John. and grinned from ear to ear,
The rock Of yonder cradle, dear ~
Heaven helps those who help them.
selves as The little boy said when he
reached and took the last dOughnut from
the table.
The advertisement of Western stone
cutter reads: Those who buy tOmbstones
Of us look with pride and satisfaction
upon the graves Of their friends"
"My eyes with tears is red and dim.
Cause he loves she and loves him;
But they'll be better by and by.
NJ 81 L
Suspicious tailor-"There. just stand
in that position, please. and look right
upon that notice while take your meas
ure. Customer reads the notice -
Terms cash.
Where woman" says Mrs. Part
ingtou, "has been married with con
gealiug heart. and one that beats des
ponding to her own. size will never wan
to enter the married state again"
a bashful young clergyman recently
rising to preach for the first time. mad,
terrible mix of it, and announced hi
text IN this wise: "And Immediately th,
cock wept. and Peter went out and crev
bitterly"
An Indiana man bet ten dollars tha
he could ride the fly-wheel Of a saw mil
and as his widow paid the bet she re
marked William was kind husband
but he did not know much about fiy
wheels
1t looks bad to see a dog precedin,
his master down the street. and calml
turn down the stairs to the first salool
he approaches. 1t shows that there
something wrong, something lacking.
deplorable tendency on the part Of tn
dog.
Anna Dickinson not having succeede
in altering the law so that she can wea
trousers. is studying for the stage. An
will find that brains and not tongue an
cheek are the needed article for a sue
eessful actress. Anna would make
splendid dry nurse.
A colored preacher remarked: "Whe
God made dc fust man He set him u
agin de fence to dry" "Wbo made
fence ~ interrupted an eager listene
Put dat man out :" exclaimed the co
ored preacher; "such questions as d;
destroy all de theology in de world"
A few Sundays ago. says a Georgi
paper. a negro woman at baptizing ne;
the ferry. exhibited her radical procli,
ities during the excitement always a
tending such occasions. by shouting
intervals: Sweet Jesus dear Yank,
Jesus how | do lub you p
a Virginia City butcher ordered
painter to make him sign which shou
read. 'Mul;um in Parvo Sausage
Mutton ia Porko Sausage" was as nei
as the artist could get at 1t; ard wh,
he brought it home 1t took three men
ret tie cleaver out Of the hands Of 4
irate butcher
Was be pleased ?-that is the que
tion. AT a recent lecture. young I'M
read y fine essay. On his way hor
! from the hall he heard one lady rema
to another. as he walked behind the
"Wasn't that fine - Yes" was t
reply. "but what a mean looking lit
! wretch the lecturer was :"
I a Saratoga tombstone lifts up wal
: ing voice to single women. in the folio
4 ing manner: Emma. dau'r of Alb
ham aud Matilda C.. and wife Of 1'b'
dore 5. died Aug 10. 1868, IL
years leaving Eve ehildren-married
young against her fathers will. Sim
women, take warning"