The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-10-07
A Victim of Circumstances.

A Victim OF circumstances.
Yesterday afternoon lot of horses
belonging to somebody on South Hill
were strOlling down Boundary Street,
near Angular, at the same time a very
dfgnified clergyman was walking along
on the sidewalk The street is very
muddy, and presently the horses got
tired of it, and accordingly filed across
to the plank walk, and promenaded
along, single file, right before the dom
inie. In all there were just thirteen of
the animals, and they walked along very
solemnlv, but making terrific clatter-
ing on the plank, while the clergyman
followed, quietly amused ut the nom
chalant manner with which the horses
took possession of the walk. Pretty soon
he heard a tremendous shouting and Il
few screams at the head of the process
sion, which came to a dead halt, and
the minister became aware two women
were trying to ''shoo" the horses into
the street, by shrieking and making
threatening gestures with their parasols,
while the shouting came from man in
his shirt sleeves on the other side of the
way, and his remarks were addressed
to the preacher.
'sDrive them horses Of''n that ar
sidewalk" he yelled ''Ain't you got
no more sense than that, ye son of a
rancher? Get them horses out into the
road or Ill wade through this mud to
We, and bury We in the gutter!" DE .
"AIy friend, -" meekly began the min
lister, ''you labor under an erroneous
-
Labor nothin'!n yelled the man.
''Don't We know no better'n to drive a
lot of horses along Il sidewalk, and
chase women and children off into the
mud? Now Jest hump them cattle out
into the street or I'll make it hot fer
YET
"My good sir" the minister endeav-
ored to explain, ''you are hasty over
much | am not driving"
"Oh-h-h! We outdacious liar yelled
the man. ''As though | hadn't ben
watchin' We ever sence ye came around
yam corner, drivin' 'em along on the
sidewalk becaze We was too nice to walk
in the mud A sweet scented drOver
you are. Yer too high toned fer this
town, an if We don't git them horses
into the street and mOsey out o. this be-
fore L come acrost to We, yell never
drive another woman and her baby into
the mud agin, kin tell ye.n
The astonished preacher began to ex-
pOstulate once more, but the man was
out of patience by this time and strobe
through the mud toward the terrified
gentleman, rolling his sleeves up and
swearing terrifchly as he came, big
with the importance of being champion
of two women and a baby, against a
foreign drOver. The minister had made
up his mind to be smashed, but PrOvi-
dence took care of him, as it does of
ministers and editors and other good
men. A dog who lives down near the
grocery, aroused by the clamOr, looked
up and saw the horses who were
standing quietly listening to the quarrel
and in a second he was over the fence,
barking and swapping at every pair OF
heels ut once. The frightened horses
snorted, and wheeling off the sidewalk,
charged madly across the street, sud
denly pulling up and wheeling in differ
ent directions as they met the man, and
when they gallOped away the preacher
saw a sight that filled him with horror.
Those horses in their frenzied plunging
had slapped chunks of mud as big as
nail kegs all over that man. They had
plastered him from head to foot; his
ears were level full of blue mud and his
shirt was a mass of yellow clay, and he
was digging this Shiny mud that grows
in the wagon ruts out of his eyes with
both hands. Every time he spit he
blew out pieces of mud as large as tur,
nips, and he spit, as near as the minister
could estimate, ninety-tive times
minute. He was trying to say
something, but the angels above could
never guess what. There hasn't
been such a muddy man in town since
the night dear old Blake chased the
policeman. The minister, grateful fol-
his providential rescue, did not tempt
Providence by offering to scrape his en-
envy off, but he fled in dignified haste,
and only heard the women pause IN the
midst of their Mortified pity for thelI
champion, to speak of the flying minis
| ter as nOfflu- llL-LldIlleiiy HOloC
trader" He only checked his speed
one moment to watch the dog who had
created the stampede stand for second
OF three legs to look in wild amazemen
at the apparition in the street, and theI
turn in abject terror, and fly to the pri
vacv of his kennel with piteOus howls
| And the minister marveled greatly ol
the intricacies and uncertainties OF cir
cumstantial evidence.-HaUkeye.