The Arizona sentinel. [volume] (Arizona City [Yuma], Yuma County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1872-1911, 1875-11-27
WANTED-A Wife.

EDl1Oh Nh1CAGO hlbON Il -
LEXINGTON, I'LL am young
man on the sweet side Of thirty.
l am rich. suppose / am worth
as much as 100000. ] have cul-
tivated and harvested my wild
oats. have seen all | desire to
see of the world. l have travel
ed all over the globe. l have
stood aWe-Struck and dumb by
the Pyramids. I have gaZed up
on the cold and smilelesS counter
ance of Sphinx, which has stood
centuries the mute monument OF
departed glory. l have sailed
through the streets of glorious
Venice in gOndOla, and been
wood to love dreaming slumbel
on the bosom of the Adriatic by
the love song of a gay gondOlier.
] have visited the Alhambra by
moonlight, aid beheld beauteOus
Spanish maidens dancing to the
music of caStinet and lutte. Jeru-
salem l have wept over. and stood
within the solemn nails of the
Mosque Of Omar.
The Tomb of III has been
drenched by my tears. / made a
pilgrimage to Mecca and have
quenched my thirst at the we'll
of st. Dastan. / once blew my
nose on the top of the Tower of
Pisa, and l had the good fortune
to ascend in a balloon from the
summit of POmpey's Pillar. !
have wandered through the ruins
of Herculaneum, and eaten Of
bread baked 1900 years ago. l
swami the HellespOnt, and took
refuge in the ParthenOn, in viO-
lent thunder storm. I have trav-
eled over the Apipan Way and
slobbered the big toe of his Su
blime Eminence, Pope Plus TX.
passed incog. through Teheran
and Semarcand, bathed in the
Black Sea; danced a jig on the
top of Kremlin. have inspected
several thousand mummies, and
made a journey to Ujiji. l wept
three gallons of tears at the grave
Of Heloise and Abelard, and walk
ed through the sewers of Paris.
/ visited the battlefield of Water
ho,and picked up thirty-tWo bush
els of bullets, which | now have
in my cabinet of curiosities. /
have seen the largest elephant in
the world, in the Royal Stables of
the King of Siam. He is $50 feet
high, and so broad across the back
that forty common elephants
might stand on him, with space
enough between them tn play a
game of croquet. l have seen all
the natural curiOSities in the
world. have visited the most
stupendous precipices, and awful
CULTS and chasms that are to be
found in the world. got so high
that my watch stopped, and it
was impossible for a human be-
ing to breathe a minute. | re-
manned over an hour in that gid
dy height. | am perfectly sur
feited with travel and sight-see-
ing-yea, am disguised.
AS for the fashionable world
] am sick of that. Thave been at
all the society resorts and haunts
of pleasure in the world. l have
tasted of the water at Ems. Ba-
den. Baden has seen my sweet
countenance. l have been among
the elite, the upper ten, the bon
ton, etc. / have ate with the
luxurious and Wanton courts oil
royalty, and what a mass of stink
ing humanity it all is-faugh! !
can't express my disgust. have
seen all the pretty women-nota.
bly, the Princess of Wales and the
ex-Empress Eugene, and | am
disguised with pretty women; ]
am disguised with travel, with
going, with society. with pretty
women, with hollow humanity,
in short [ am disguised with
everybody | have ever seen and
now | want to settle down into
quiet, domestic life. 10 be brief,
/ want to marry.
Here is the sort of woman ]
don't want: Il don't want a fool.
/ don't want one that thinks, she
is awful pretty. l don't want one
that pretends she don't know the
nature of the animal called a hog,
and when she sees one, imagines
it is lion or a tiger, and shrieks
oh! dear Jawge; do shoe thai
hog off; Pm so fraid of a hog
and faints away and has to lse
carried home on a shutter.
Here is the sort of a woman
do wan't:-I want one that il
ugly. | want one with cultivat
ed mind; one that sees life as it is
and has a contempt for smelling
bottles; hopeful, tender, loving
soul, that can eat with a knife anC
fork, and not turn up her nose a
pork and beans. | want a woman
that can visit a Strengthening es
Enlistment where they are kill
ing 10000 hogs day and contem
plate the scene with interest anC
enthusiasm. want a woman