The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1875-03-20
An Uuensy Pred,cameut.

mat SPICY little sheet The Guide,
published at Germantown, Pa, Ia re.
sponslble for the following capital story:
We were the witness OF very ludic.
rous incident wnich occurred a few
days since, for relating which we crave
the indulgence Of the gentleman. direct
ly concerned-deen,ing It too good JOKE
to be lost.
While sitting at our desk and labor
ing assiduously with pen, scissors and
paste, To make ours reliable paper for
our patrons, we were suddenly fright
ened from our propriety by the hasty
entrance of a gentleman, exclaiming,
"For Gods sake, help me to see what's
the matterl I've got some dreadful
thing. scorpion or snske--in the leg Of
my pantaloonsl Quick-quick-help
mel"
We instantly rose from our chair, half
frightened ourselves. Our friend had
broken In so suddenly and unexpected
upon us, and was 20 wonderfully agi.
tated that we knew not indeed, wheth.
er he were In his senses or not. We
looked athim with asort Of surprise mixed
With dread, aud hardly knew wheth.
er tn speak with or seize and confine
him for g madman. The latter we.came
near attempting. There he stood, quiv.
ering and palc, with one band grasping
a part of his pantaIoons just below the
knee. .ulraG tg So
whats the matter9" asked we at
last" ..I..... ...a ....H. .O.
1.-THE matterl" he exclaimed, ooh,
help mel l'veg got something here which
just ran up my legl Some internal
lizard or scorpion, expecti Oh, 1
can't let 1t go; must hold it. Oh,
therei" he shrieked, "he felt it move
Just then! Oh, these pants without
strapsl IN never have another pair open
atthe bottom as long as live. All, 1
feel 1t again. f.ia N,si t.f3! .gs.4 a,
itFeel what?" we inquired standing
at the same time at respectful distance
from the gentleman, for we had lust
been reading a correspondents letter
about snakes, lizards and tarantulas,
and began to imagine some deadly in
srct or reptile In the leg of our friel d's
unmentiUnables. "a. 'a ulN
II don't know what 1t is" answered
the gentlsmaD; "help me to see what
it Is. l was passing that pile of rubbish
in front of your orhce, aud felt it dart
up my leg as quick as lightDipg'. and
he clenched his leg more tightly. Ifit
had been the neck of an anaconda we
firmly believe he would have been
squeezed to jelly. BY this time, two
or three Of the newsboys had come In
the clerk and packing boys hearing the
outcry, stopped working, and editor and
all hands stood around the sufferer with
looks of mingled sympathy and alarm.
"Bring chair, Fritz, said we, "and
iet the gentleman be seated"
"oh, l can't sit," said the gentle
man, III can't bend my kneel-if | do
1t will bite me; no. l can't Sit" .
"Certainly you can Sit" said we;
keep your leg straight out, and we
see what 1t is you have got"
"Well, let me give it one more hard
squeeze; III crush 1t to DEATH" and
again he put the force of an iron vice
upon the thing. If it had any life left |
this last effort must have killed It. He
then cautiously seated himself, holding
out his leg as stiff and straight as DO |
ker. A sharp knife was procured; the
pants were cut open carefully, making
hole large enough to admit a hand.
the gentleman put on thick glove, and |
slowly inserted his hand, but discover
ing nothing. We we're all looking on
In almost breathless attention to see
this monsterous thing whatever 1t
might be. each ready to scamper out of
harms way should IL prove to be alive;
when suddenly the gentleman became
II possible more agitated than ever.
by heavens!" he exclaimed. otis
inside my drawers. IT'S alive,I feel i'll
quick,give me the knife againl" Anoth,
er incision vas made-in went the
gentleman's hand once more-and Ioi
out came his wife's stocking.
b How the stocking ever got there we
are unable to say; but there it certainly
was; and such laugh as followed we
have not heard for many day. Our
friend, we know. has told the joke him.
self, and must pardon us for doing so.
Though this is about a stocking we as
sure our readers 1t is not yarn.
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