The Hartford herald., 1875-02-10
Whose Anger Was IL?


of straw" has just been confirmed in
a case before the Ohio Quarterly Court at
its recent session.
Our Local has become possessed with
a delusive idea Of being a lawyer, aud on
every possible occasion, where any legal
question is involved, he is on hand at the
courthouse like a cold potato. Suffice
it to say, be was on hand when this inn
portant suit was called, and appeared for
the defense. The case as we picked it up,
was about this: One Francis Marion-not
the General Of Revolutionary renown-
whose surname is Heavern, once upon a
time owned one of those classical instru-
ments called an "auger." Frank loaned
the boring machine to James William
Morris. The latter left it in the crack of
an out house on his farm, occupied by
Alex. Fielding Robert Lawrence a So
called intelligent contraband, was doing
job Of work for one George n. Coats,
and needed wood-drill; and having seen
the aforesaid tool at Fielding's, he sends
and gels it, and leaves it sticking in
crack of the building where he used it.
Randall Lawrence, another son of Ham,
came along and saw the auger, and think
ing it was Coats, and needing the use of
it took it home with him, used it and put
new handle on it. Heaven called on
Morris. Norris called on Coats, learning
that the auger had been there. Coats, up
to that time, did not know who claimed
it, but sent word by Bob to Randall to
bring it back; and Randall brought it 10
Coats, and Coats took it to Morris, who
in the meantime had consulted eminent
and learned counsel, and they, after a
thorough search of the Digest" had ad-
vised suit against Coats, which was
brought, and hence Morris refused to re-
ceive the anger. After all this, who does
the darned thing belong to? Coats brought
the auger to court, and again made ten-
der, and Morris still refused to accept, un-
less by verdict of the court Heaven
says Morris paid him for it since the suit
began, and he most solemnly renounced
all claim; and Bob Randall and Coats
never did own it.
Morgan & Wedding appeared for plain
tiff, and our local for the defense We'd
ding introduced a witness who said the
auger belonged to Heavern at the time
the suit was brought Up jumped our
local, as if he had just sit down on the
front side of a needle, and roared out with
the lungs of back woods ox-driver:
MAY it please your Honor, move to
dismiss, because plaintiff has no title"
This brought down the house, and, in the
midst of confusion worse confounded,"
Morgan sprang to his feet to know what
was the proposition before the court
The judge thought the motion of our To-
cal as premature as selling chickens be-
lOlC lhC NCIS W lueIlt
and overruled it, but finally gave judg-
ment for defendant, which made our To-
cal feel his importance as much as old
Andy did his when elected to the U. S. SEN
ate last week Morgan and Wedding offer
ed to bet their firm law-license that Black
stone had suffered severe rebuke, but the
Judge concluded, after consulting that le-
gal functionary, that there was no auger
law in it. Costs-thirty dollars.
Some one then made a motion that the
court direct the sheriff to take the anger
and bore Judge Townsend for harness
oil, and Thomas Smith would have done
it if the court had said so, but his Honor,
after consulting the authorities on life es-
tates, declined to hear the motion, fearing
that the auger was the one spoken of by
Dryden who said
Augur of i'll, whose tongue was never fou nd
Without priestly curse or bOding sound.
This left the auger in court poor liz
tie waif, an iron orphan without black
smith parent, guardian or protector
which elected the sympathies of the hu-
name Judge, and majority of the bar,
who finally decided to leave it in the hands
of the court to be used as substitute in
boring the court generally, instead of long,
windy speeches in the Barnard-Bishop
case.