davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
A Model Sunday School Superintendent.

A good story is told of a certain Sum-
day-schOOl-we omit the whereabouts
which was recently visited by learned
divine. The quietness of the proceedings
specially attracted his attention. When
the clock marked the hour, the pupils fell
into their places without call or signal.
The superintendent placed upon the black
board the number of a hymn, and, with
out announcement, it was Immediately
sung. All the exercises were conducted
from the platform in this silent way. The
reverend gentleman was puzzled, and after
the school closed he sought an interview
with the superintendent. He commenced
voluble expression of his pleasure.
which was cut short when his (suppOsed)
auditor drew forth a slate and wrote on it,
81 am a dsGf-r1utsr % 1t was school, SO it
was explained to him, that had been talked
to death by former superintendents. The
session had been prolonged beyond all
reason, scholars were tired to death with
speeches, and scanty time was left for the
| lesson. The school came to the cOnclu-
sion that the great work of the superin-
tendent was to keep still. As every one
who could talk would talk, application
was finally made to deaf-and- dumb asy-
| Ium for man who could not talk. And
the result was so satisfactory We under
| stand that deaf-mutes of approved plety
and decorous appearance are IN demand
| for Sunday-schOol superintendent.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
Portable "Beer Powder"

An evil future is impartially preparing
for both the apostles of the permissive bill
aud the great public-hOuse interest Itself.
Science, with It's wonted absence OF prtJu-
dice, has just dealt each side of the ques-
ton a knOck-down blow. a Frankfort
journal reports that chemist Of that CRY
has lately given public exhibition OF his
ability to make delicious beer at mo-
ment's notice out Of nothing but small
quantity of brownish powder and pail
of water. 1t is said that certain experts
present-some of them brewers them
selves-could not distinguish between the
beverage thus made on the spot and that
drawn from the orthodox cask. The new
beer-powder can be sold at . pence an
ounce, and one ounce is sufficient to pro-
duce a gallon of beer. At this rate glass
of ale will cost about a farthing. ana tne
process is so simple Take some pure,
cold water, put the powder INTO IL, sur
well. and the beer is ready. The inventor,
moreover, declares that by slight cnange
in his ingredients he can alter the quality
of the beer and produce any kind that may
be desired. Shortly, therefore. a great
revolution may be expected. With few
grains of Bass in one pocket and pinch
or two of Ind and COOpe in the other,
the thirsty but not even bona fide Traveller
of the future will calmly make for the
nearest pump and there contentedly drink
confusion alike TO Sir Wilfred Lawson and
to the licensed victualler-PaH Mall Ga
zsfke
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
A Wife's Trick.

A lady occupying a high position at
Washington, whose husband was OF the
Government, made a trip to Europe with
him. She " dotted" on lace, and here was
her opportunity. Talking of the acquisl-
tions she would make in this line, he t0lo
her she should purchase any reasonable
quantity, provided she would not SNUG
ole any. To this she acceded. The gem
tleman took as part of his wardrobe a
dressing-gown, for, like most Americans,
in the privacy of his room he liked to pull
off his coat. Several times on the trip he
observed the care his wife took OF this
garment, and was gratified for her anxiety
for his comfort. Once, when smoking,
while lighting his cigar, he set his gown
on fire, and quite hole was burned IN
the skirt. His wife was considerably asl-
tated, and he was flattered that so trifiing
a danger to him had so moved her. One
morning, Immediately after his retuI n to
this country, he found, before he reached
his office, that keys he needed had been
left at home, and retraced his steps to get
them. Letting himself in with his latch
key. he proceeded to his chamber, and, on
opening the door, found his wife on her
knees on the floor, his dressing-gown di'
vested of its lining and spread before her
and she, scissors in hand, disengaging from
it white, flimsy fabric with which 1t was
covered. She sprang up on seeing hlm'
laughed, and exclaimed: ou are the
smuggler. You have been wearing thai
all over Europe, and brought it home.
CINCINNATI Times.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
Pat Murphy's Dilemma.

One day, in attending to applications for
situations in the police force, the Mayor
of a certain town. iU was supposed, was
about to invest Patrick Murphy with
star when some of his Irish competitors
outside the ra ling cried out:
''Are you goin' to pint Pat, yer Honor?
He can't write his name, yer Honor J"
Il am only receiving applications, to-
day; in a fortnight we make appoint
ments," said the Mayor and Pat was told
to call on that day two weeks.
The friend through whose influence Pat
had been induced to apply for the office
said to him, as they came away from the
hall:
"Now, Pat, 90 home; and every night
do you get a big piece of paper and
good stout pen, and keep writing your
name. I'll set the copy for you"
Pat did as directed, and every night for
fortnight was seen putting out his
tongue and swaying his head over - Pat
rick Murphy" q" Patrick Murphy" in the
style Of chirography generally known as
coarse hand
When the day for the appointment came
Pat found himself before the Mayor, and
drged his claim.
Can you write?" said that excellent
1unctlOnary.
"Troth, an it's meself that jist KIM
answered Pat.
Take that pen," said the Mayor, and
| let us see you write. Write your name
He took the pen as directed. when sort
of explanatory laugh burst from his sur
prised competitors, who were in attend
ance:
Howly Paul, 'ye mind that, Mike
Pats a-writin'-he's got a quill in his
| tist!"
$50 he has, be jabers!" said Mike.
d" But small good it will do him; he can't
write wild it, man."
But Pat did write he had recorded his
name in bold. round hand.
/ "That'll do" said the Mayor.
His fOiled rivals looked in each others
fees with undisgui>ed astonishment. A
lucky thought struck them.
Ask him TO write somebody else's
name, yer Honor" said two of them in q
breath.
"That's well thought Of" remarked the
Mayor. "Pat, write my name."
Here was dilemma; but Pat was equa
to it.
me write yer Honor's name!" ex
claimed he, with well-dissembled holy
horror. "Me commit forgery, and a-goin
on the pelisse! Ican't doit, yer Honor 7
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
A Young Statesman.

The other day, when Vicksburg boy
had trouble with a neighbor's boy and
came out first-best, he realized that some
thing must be done at home, and ne SID
into The house and said
"Mother, you know how good and
kind YOU have been to Mrs. B, next
doorS'
ayes, have tried to be good neigh
Dor to her,"
.sWell, do you know that she SAYS you
clean your teeth with white-wash brush,
and that father ought to have pension
for living with you?"
He slid out, and when Mrs. b. reached
the gate, on her way to the house to ask
why her boy must be pounded up In that
way. she heard shrill voice calling out
.;Vile wretch, don't you enter that gate
or you'll get scalded!"
She returned home, and the young
ttatesman dropped down under a shade
sree, kicked up his heels and softly
chuckled:
:; That settles her, and now l want to
catch her Tom again for just fourteen
seconds! VJeksburg Herald.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
What Dime Novels Will Do for Boy

The case of the People VS.. Clarence
Ham, charged with the larceny of horse,
came up before Justice Sayer, yesterday.
The boy, who is only about fourteen years
of age, was employed by j. II. Hobson &
Co., merchant tailOrs, and while on his
way to the bank, Monday, to make de-
posit of $50 belonging to his employers,
conceived the idea of fitting himself out
as an Indian scout. So, instead of depos-
iting the money, he contracted with Mr..
Cove for gun, pistol. knife, hatchet and
ammunition. and a suit of buckskin and a
mountaineer's hat. This done, he hired a
horse of NJ. c. Wilbur, liyerv stable keep
er, for short ride, and, having decorated
himself in his trappiDgs, started an his Ca
reer of adventure, a perfect young Wild
Bill"
Deputy Sheriff Waterbury was put up
on the pursuit, and yesterday morning,
bright and early, overhauled the SOLITARY
horseman" in camp, near LongmOnt, 40
miles from here. He was brought back
and, being arraigned before Justice Sayer,
as already stated, pleaded guilty to
the charge of larceny, but, by request, his
case was held over until next Saturday,
and he was committed to Jail.
1t was thought the lad was laborlng un-
der some hallucination, but sober ref1ec-
ton shows that he belongs TO a class OF
ungoverned boys in our midst, who, by
reason of the vile )vel trash that is al
the present day solQ 20 mere children, are
acquiring unwholesome ideas which are
| leading them to vice and sin.-Denve7
| Nelos.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
The Prince Of Wales's Tour.

The London Nstcs of July Is says The
Serapls and the royal yatch Osborne Will,
il is understood, leave Portsmouth on or
about October 6. taking in coal at Malta,
and reaching Brindisi, where his Royal
Highness and suite will embark October
16 or IL. A guard of honor of 100 marines
and captain will be sent out in the Ser
apis. So far as at present arranged the
number of persons going out in that yes
sci will excede four hundred. and as she
has accommodation for over 900 it will be
possible to render the ship thoroughly
roomy, and with this object ali unneces-
sary cabins and fittings are being removed.
A general clearance has been made on the
main deck, with the exception of his
Royal Highness' cabin, reception and uln-
ing-reoms on the port side, thus making
an excellent promenade and lounging
place, extending 150 feet by so feet wide.
An entry for the sole use OF the Prince
will be made on TO the promenade, and
from this handsome staircase will lead up
to the saloon deck and above that to the
new crystal deekhouse. The suite will be
provided with cabins chiefly on the star.
board side. The usual cabins here have
been augmented by Is new ones, all Of
which are to be draped in chintZ and
furnished with handsome bedSteads, baths,
and other appliances calculated to add to
the comfort of those who use them.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
An Epicure.

He was travel-stained and weary, and
his eyes had far-Off wistful look as though
he knew that rest was not for him below,
let his tired heart crave it never so much.
And as he humbly asked the lady of the
house for a morsel of food, his venerable
appearance and evident want aroused all
her womanly generosity, and she present.
ly set the poor tramp down to the remains
of the family dinner.
''Poor old man. she murmured SYM
pathetically, as she saw him lean back in
his chair, leaving his food uEtounched on
his plate-'h he is too weary to eat," and
she asked him if he felt i'll.
mot exackly, num-" was the answer
in a humble voice, but mos people cooks
their roast beef till its overdone, an over
done beef don't gently agree with me-"
"Y' hav mt got any Wooster sauce, have
ye? continued the mendicant, Il mos
gently use it when beef AIM cooked to
suit me-
Unfortunately, the house of Mccormick
was out of "WoOster sauce" but Mrs
McC. brought the mustard and plate OF
nice pickles, observing with the faintest
trace of sarcasm in her tones that if she'd
knew that he was coming she'd have
| looked out for something better.
"Oh, amt very partiek' Ter, mum" said
| the old man, as he helped himself to
another spoonful of gravy and cucum-
Der pickle, ION y l jes' happ'n'd to men,
ton it,, COS where there amt no pie nor
nothin n sweet for dessert, OverdOne roast
beef's more like to disagree with me y
and the meekness in the vagrant' wrinkled
face was touching in the extreme, as he
looked humby around the table as though
lis former glance might have overlooked
the luxuries of which he spoke.
But Mrs McC. was rather too far gone
with speechless indignation to frame a
suitable answer. and so the weary old
man, with a mournful sigh, went on eat
| ing, and developed a most singular and
wonderful appetite, which was gradually
appeased as the 4-pOund piece Of beef was
| reduced TO a mere shapeless fragment,
and the last boiled potato had vanished
| from the dish.
~ hope you have made dinner" ejac-
ulated Mrs. McC. in a fine irony.
wall, yes'm; I've eat wuss wittals, y
said the cid mendicant, with deep humility
as he pushed his chair back from the
table. and appeared to seek something on
| the floor.
manded Mrs. McC., with a snap in heI
voice that reminded one of the slanming
down of the lid off chest.
"NOthin', mum-that is, nothing par
tick'ler; | didn't see no napkin, an
thought 1 might dropped it"
But he never finished his speech, enc
| five seconds later his white locks vanished
through the doorway with amazing celer
| ity, and an infuriated female with MOI
followed so closely behind that he gOt
fully half mile from the house before
pursuit ceased and he was able to light his
cigar.-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
Luxurious Gypsies.

The Reading (Pa.) Eagle, describing
oypsy camp. saws: Standing near the
group of gypsy women and children was
a very large wagon. Ii looked much like
one Ofthose beautiful affairs generally seen
seen with circus companies. 1t was open
for an airing. The body was large, and
extended out over the wheels. 1t was sup
ported by heavy springs. The wagon
was fitted up as a bedroom. 1t was as
beautiful as a bridal-ehamber, and Mrs
Guy smiled apreviHgly when the reporter.
mentioned the comparison. YES, SIR,
she said, ''you guessed it pretty Well.
That is our chamber. My husbands and
mine" A peep inside showed every thlng
as neat and as clean as could be. The bed
stead was of walnut, and bedding of the
finest linen. The walls were Ornamented,
and the best kind of carpet was on the
floor. Looking glasses, wardrobe, closets,
dressihg-cases, and every thing seen in a
first-class bedroom was there. The wag-
on was specially built for the party in Fred
erick, Maryland, and cost 500 in cSsh.
The bedroom was divided off from the
front part of the wagon. whichis occupied
by the drivers position. The leather cur
tains around the wagon were all thrown
up Yesterday, and it seemed as If hotel
bridal chamber had been suddenly brought
out there. The wagon body outside Is
painted and vanished in the most costly
manner, and the gliding and ornamental
work are very neat. The vehicle Is large
and rOOmv, and seems much out of place
| in the woods. The owner came along
shortly, and he expressed himself as fol-
| lows: ~ live in the woods an move
| around from one place to another L
want to live with all the comforts L can
provide, and in that wagon my wife and |
sleep as good as the re>t OF the world.
Every thing about the wagon is fitted up
in the best style, and the blankets, sheets,
counterpanes, and pillOw-cases were just
as clean as could be. Many of the blank
cts Were dark, with gray stripes. There
were three other wagons of the same pat
tern, but none of them were fitted up in
so costly manner. One la ge wagon had
a row of beds in it made for the children.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
A Terrible Explosion.

PoRT JERvIs, N. Y, July 24.-The
most terrible locomotive boiler explosion
ever known on the Erie Railway occurred
last evening, seven. or eight miles west OF
Port Jervis Station, resulting in the al
most instant death of three employees and
the demolition of thousands of dollars
worth of property. The locomotive was
attached TO extra coal train No. from
Honesdale, Jefferson Fuller engineer.
When the train reached the point named
it was tagged by train ahead of it, and
came to stand-still. The fiagman of the
former jumped on the pilot of Fuller's en-
gine, and was sitting there when the sig
nal was given the engineer to 60 ahead.
The instant the latter placed his hand up
on his throttle the explosion occurred,
and the air was filled with flying frag-
ments of the locomotive. The engine was
thrown into the air several feet, and fell
over on the tender, bottom upward. Jo-
seph Bonnell, the fagman, who sat on
the cOw-catcher, was thrown up with the
engine and came down beneath the ruins,
n hich also buried the fireman, James
Stevenson. A man was at once sent TO
the nearest telegraph office to announce
the news of the disaster to Superintendent
Thomas at Port Jervis, who arrived on the
scene with the wrecking train and DR..
Van Etten as soon as possible. The bodies
of the fiagman and fireman were removed
from the wreck. Both were badly mutt
lated. The engineer could not be found,
and it was not until after five hours dill
gent search that his body was discovered.
1t had been thrown to the summit of a
high hill that rises on the left of the rail-
road track and carried a thousand feet
from the locomotive, lodging in tree.
The engineers watch hung by the chain
on limb, having stopped at O'Clock.
Every bone in the engineers body was
broken.
The fire-box of the locomotive was hurl-
ed from its position and broken into hun
dred pieces. A large piece ofiron, weigh
ing many hundred pounds, was carried
500 feet and half buried. The dome and
sand-box were thrown an eighth of mile
into the Delaware River. The wheels OF
the engine were all torn off, and not sin
gle piece of the cab has been discovered
since the explosion. Several cars were
demolished by falling pieces of iron. The
track was torn up for long distance, and
the rails bent and twisted terribly. The
loss to the company will be from SIS 00C
to $4,000. The locomotive was Rogers
make, and had been in use for fifteen
years. 1t had just come from the repair.
shop.
The victims of this disaster each leaves
family. Fuller and Stevenson lived in
Honesdale, Pa. and Bonnell near this vii
lage.-Cor. N. Y. World.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
A Hard-Hearted Mother.

She lives down on Baker Street, and she
has daughter about eighteen years old.
The old lady retains all her simplicity and
innocence, and she doesn't go two cents
on STYLE. The other evening when a
g splendid catch called to escort the
daughter to the opera the mother wouldn't
take the hint to keep still, and wouldn
help carry out the daughters idea that
thev had wealth. While helping her
daughter to get ready she asked:
MARY, are you going to wear the shoes
with one heel off, or the pair with the
holes in 'em:n
Mary didn't seem to hear, and the moth
er inquired:
Are you going TO wear that dollar gold
chain and that lOcket, or will you wear
the diamond father bought at the hardware
store?"
Mary winked at her, and the young
man blushed, but the old lady went on:
q Are you going to borrow Mrs.
Browns shawl, or will you wear mine p
Mary hustled about the room, and the
mother said:
:. Be careful of your dress, Mary you
know it's the only one you've got, and
you can't have another until the mortgage
on this place is lifted"
Mary remarked TO her escort tnaC II
promised to be beautiful evening, and as
She buttoned on her glove her mother
asked:
"Those are Mrs. Hardy's gloves, AIM
they? She's been a good neighbor to us
and don't know how you would manage
to go anywhere if she didn't live near us
Mary was hurrying to get out of the
room, when her mother raised her voice
once more and asked:
"Did you run into Mrs. Jewett's anC
borrow her bracelet and fan? Yes, set
you did. Well, now, you look real stylish
and hope you'll have good time"
Mary sits by her window in the palt
moonlight and sighs for the splendid
young man to come and beau her arOunC
some more, but he hasn't been seen VI
that way since that night. The old lady
too, says that he seemed like nice young
man, and she hopes he hasn't been killeC
by the street-cars.-Detroit Free Press.
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
A SHAREHOLDERS plowman.

A SHAREHOLDERS plowman-
In how many cases out of ten can one
tell the time six seconds after IOoNnS S'
his watch?
AN Owensboro (Ky.) voter inquirer AZ !,
the Post-office for a " stamped anteiope'
AN Indiana farmer, after drinking some
hard cider, endeavored to milk ms Pe1
mule, and will, in consequence, have 20 re-
| pair the roof of his barn in the spot Nhere
his head went through.
/ IT is the thoughtful Bayard OF the
| BROOKLYN Argus who throws of the apo
/ thepm: "A lively thief is a better man
| than your easy-gOing, slippered philoso-
pher. He doesn't wait to take things as
the come-he goes after them"
A CENSUS taker in Ypsilanti, Mich,
took the following names In one ianlly
.Jehn. Jonathan, Josiah, James, job, Jane,
,Julia' Jerusha, and Jebediah. an infant
about three months old. Next, salu
the census man, as he dipped bis pen IN
the ink. "LOok here, mister" excialm-
ed the woman, while she wiped the per-
sniration from her face with the bottom Oi
her dress, 'Ain't you rushing things
little?'
A YOUTHFUL clergyman who recently
went to enlighten the Ignorant, WnllG
dealing with the parable of the HrodlgaI
Son, was anxious to show how dearly the
parent loved his child. Drawing hiulSeH
together, and putting on his most s0DeF
looks, he dilated at length upon the KILL
ing of the fatted calf. The climax was rs
follows: 81 shouldn't wonder If the fatner
had kept that calf for years, awaiting lhe
return of his son."
Nor far from Des Moines, "the poor
mans cow" browsing wherever she could
find defective garden gate, wedged heT
legs in cattle-guard on the railroad ana
waited for the freight train. When It came
she maintained her position and grace
fully tossed the engine and four cars into
the ditch; but the reaction and nervous
excitement consequent on the enOrt
proved fatal, and she fell into relapse
and seventeen or eighteen pieces, aIu dled
all over that part of the country.
SEVERAL young ladies were sitting TO-
gether on the balcony OF the Chiffon,
Niagara, the other night, when the moon,
although full" was not demOnstratlve.
A natty little fellow approached the group
and softly said, " Pussie, darling" where
upon all the young ladies jumped up and
came toward him eagerly. lie selected
one and walked away with her. The eth-
er brides sat down, and told their reSpec-
tive RomeOs afterward, that it was - too
ridiculous for any thing" and that they
"never were so embarrassed in the whOle
course of their lives"
The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-12
A Sad Affair.

A little distance below the ferry landing
on the Arkansas shore, opposite this city,
is moored boat owned by Dave Robin
son, fisherman, on which he and his fam
ily live. About S o'clock Wednesday
evening his little daughter Ada, aged
about 10 years, fell from the boat into the
river and was drowned. Every effort pos
sible was made to recover her body, but
without success, and it was given up for
lost in the belief that the current had car
ried il down the stream beyond recovery,
About daylight yesterday the fisherman
made his daily visit 10 his trotlines, which
were laid in the river about 200 yards be-
low his boat. He threw out the graphing
hook. caught the lines and proceeded to
haul in; but before many feet of the line
had been recovered, he drew to the sur
face the dead body OF his little daughter
fastened by the dress TO one of the fish,
hooks. The child's body had been car
ried down by the current until caught by
the trot line, where it was held fast and
fished up next morning by the father
MeyaDtsS Ardldachs