The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1875-12-02


Ben Purtle. He was red-haircd, and
each hair stood up as if it cherished
the supremest contempt for its neigh
Dor. His face was as freckled as the
most bespotted turkey egg. His nose
supported at the bridge a large lump,
while the end turned viciously to one
side. His mouth had every shape but
| q pretty one. His form was as un-
couth as mis- face was ugly. What
was more remarkable still, Ben had a
handsome, bouncing, blooming wife
such as can be grown up only on a
country farm.
"How the mischief" said to Ben,
one day, "did you ever get such q
wife you uncouth, misshaped quint-
essence of monstrosity ?"
Ben was not at all offended by the
impertinece ofmy question, and forth
with began to solve the mystery thus /:
"Well, now, gals what's sensible
amt cotched by none of ,your purity
and hifalutin' airs. I've seed that tried
more'n once. You know Kate ware
alters considered the purtiest gal in
these parts and all the young fellers
ia these parts used to court her. Well
I used TO 60 over to old Sammy's too !;
just to kinder look on, you know, and
cast a sleeps eye at Kate. But, mer-
cy sakes! had no more thought that
I could get Kate than a Jerusalem
cricket could hide on old Sammy's
bald head-no stree. But still l
couldn't help going; an my heart
would kinder flutter, and nay eyes
would burn all over, whenever I'd GO
to talk with Kate. And one day
when Kate sorter make fun of me
like, it almost killed me, sure. went
home with something like rock jos
ling about in my heart, and declared
I'd hang myself with the first plow-line
found"
"Did you hang yourself?"
"No, daddy blazed out to me for
not taking old Ball to the pastur' in
the morning and scared me SO that
forgot it."
"Go on" said 1; seeing Ben pause
with apparent regret that he had not
executed his VOW.
"Well, one Sunday merning-I
reckon it was bout a year after that
hanging scrape-I got up and scraped
my face with daddy's old razor, and
put OH my new coprus breeches, and a
new Iinsy coat that nanny had dyed
with sassafras bark, and went over to
uncle Sammy's. Now, I'd got to low
ing Kate like all creation, but l never
cheeped to any body bout my feelings,
but 1 knowed 1 was OH the right side
of the old folks"
"Well, now, amt it quar-" continued
Ben, show a feller will feel sometimes
Something seemed to say as 1 went
along, Ben rurtle, this is great day
for you; ; and then my heart fluttered
and jumped like jay bird in = trap.
And when got there and seed Kate,
with he new checked homespun frock
on. rally thought should take the
blind staggers, anyhow"
Ben paused again, to brush the fog
from his eyes, and then continued
"Well, found the order of. the day
was to 90 muscadine hunting. Joe
Sharp and his two sisters, and Jim
Bowles was thar. I'd knowed long
time that Sharp was going after Kate ;
and / hated him worse than a hog
hates to find his way out of potato
patch; but l didn't let on. Sharp had
on white breeches, and fine shoes and
broadcloth oyercoat; but everybody
knowed he wasn't worth red cent,
"He walked with Kate; and you
ought to have seen the airs he put on.
1t was Miss Kate this, and 'Miss
Kate that, and all such nonsense. Al
ter a while we came near a slough,
where we had to cross on log, and
I'd notion to pitch the sassy good
for-nothing into the water"
"Why didn't your" l asked,
"Stop; never mind" said Ben, Civ
ing me a nudge; providence done
that all up brown. Nothing could do
bat Joe Sharp must lead Miss Kate
across first.
"He jumped on the log in high glee,
and took Hates hand, and they put
of. Just as they got half way across,
tarnation big bull-frog jumped of
into the water-you know how they
holler. 'Snakesv screamed the fool
and knocked X ate off up to her wais,
in the nasty, black, muddy water.
"And what dye think he done
Why, he just run back ards and fer
wards, hollerin' for a pole to hell
Kate out of the water. Kate looked
at me and couldn't stand it any long
er. Kerchuck. l lit ten feet from tn,
bank the first jump, and had Kate on
of there in no time. And dive think