Litchfield enquirer., 1875-06-03
gn6 cLIs1iEcs.
A natural revolutionist-the earth

n uAbuEut TeVOlutiODlSu-tOe earth.
 An affecting sight-barrels in tiers. Down East they calll Him Charles Frigid Adams.
 If you can't get good education and white plug hat get the hat. r. .-, sf
 Ths.sDmiag allnanacswiIl contain ouiy three seasons-summer, fall and winter.
 ''Ma, when is a griddle cake inhabited?" Why. my dear. where is little Indian init
 Don't locate your grandfather Gin the front rank m the Concord and Lexington hght II1at was the rank that retreated. The crocas put its head out from under the snow and said to it's companion, 'syou lilac everything If yon say tlris is spring"
 Darwin says ''it takes 900 years for an ape to be transformed into statesman" How that will blast the prospects of many people that we all know
 ASlissia.ippll hih m puts put it thus. q tbEe bE earnest solicitation of those to whom owe money I have consented to become candi- dote for county treasurer"
 This cOnundram is1espec.fulIy3 submit ted to the best speller: IfS-i-o-u-x X spell su, and eye spells i. and sighed spells side. why don't s-i-o-u-x-e-y-es-i-g -g-h-e-d spell suicide?
 "Mr. D-A.n ysual get my coat done by Saturday, I shall be forever indebted 10 you" 'If that's your game. it won't be done. P said the tailor. ~ Y ~1F That was Q shrewd method which an Iowa EB a6 kn1 %n :v1, III friends to attend her wedding. She didn't let them know mp to the last moment who tho groom Wai t0 be. ~ E31T T7Tori-G A certain Western editor, who was ore. sented with box of collars in pay for an advertisament. is waiting in daily expecta- ton that some one will present him with a shirt.
 ViscOunttle Aosgeril has. investigated apothecafies' peofitsJ He says that bot tle'of seidlitz water, sold for twenty-five cents. costs to make il, ,One cent and half and that other profits generally are in this proportion
 A Coon Hollow aenizen being at a mr. ty the other evening, where there was mual0 wanted the piano stopped as it.in- ! terfeed with the singing ra
 Augustus. dear," said she. tenderly pushing him from her as the moonlight flooded the ybay-window where they were standing, think you had better try some other hair dye; your moustache tastes like tmpentine."
 Go Outinto the country between five and seven o'clock in the evening. if you want to hear the beautiful birds sing. and the daughters of Eve shout: "Come in out of that dlrt, you little imp!'
 The Pittsfield Sun solemnly raises it's right hand toward Che roof of the house. | and aiLirms that the accordion is asscharm- ing instrumenk." Now what are the pra llminary regulations for putting man in the insane asylum? n.ve r~ua
 A DaLbury man returning from fash lonable funeral m New York, last week, vas asked by his wife how it passed of. s'
 Splendidly, splendidly 1" he enthusi- asticaily replied. By George, they ought to repeat it." Lliait1assH'
 ApartE yes in the book store, the other evening, purchasing Bible. After look ing at several, his choice wavered between two. One st q dollar, and the other, one at twp dollars He finally chose the lat ter. saying. "It's double the price of the otilsr. but I suppose it has more apartictt-A
 .ssssa8s . hshsswzsa ed ii.g ss.>sbs-.. Io si4s
 A man will carry five xhuudred dollars m hia vest pocket, buka Woman, needs al morocco portmonnaie as large as her fist. 2 and too heavy to carryin the pocket. to escort 2 fifty cent script. a recipe for ,mak- ing lelly-cake. and two samples of dress goodsaaown so~uana back every pleasant
 FfaE
 A slate pencil was lately extracted from an Indianapolis lawyers ear. after hayinr nestled in his head for seventeen years The slate has not been found vet but ii is barely possible that the man had lost the pencil while doing sum in his head. Ahf
 A stock broker returning to, b;s ot oot,oe the other day after snbstantial Inn eheon with a client, said complacently. to his bead clerk: .sMr. .Putkin, theworld looks dineIeak 3o- q man whena he has bottle of champagne in him.. .sYes. sir ]. -replied tae eleFk, sienidcanti ysr { ssand. .Ae looks dlfzesent to the World.ns ie Sssa lts
 Covdan Clarke tells a story Of gentle. csd man wh0 lately, insmakina out arrefutnf,f his. innOn18 to tlie tax Commissioned wrote on the paper: "For the first three years has beel s0ihewhat. under ,sl50:, in futuEer 1t vii be more precarious, as the man is dead of whom I borrowed the mcney." .d 99oo
 The boy who answered the question in geography aWkhs is iths shape OF the woFld9" by answering, Round like a brick. !" has growaap' lds5 dtdekless man, and edits .the Fort Scott, Monitor..s On Monday lie printed ail about the cefiten- nial of the battls fought at Lexington. A...s'!!Edu,eTpO1Oldo9 A..'!E kota church ons Sunday morning, s'theres IaoHa lRinaamd aweaFiig hnll stsalinn and gensrai deviltry to the square inclisiil 4lIia