The Portland daily press., 1875-05-21
MARS AND VENUS.
Conflict between IN Colonel and Widow
Venus Vanquishes Mars.

The Pennington Chronicle gives the follow
ing account of little affair in New Vineyard
A case of some novelty was tried at New
Vineyard last Friday before Trial Justice S. H.
Lowell State, on complaint of Col. Columbus
Harvey, VS.. Widow Miriam S. Stewart. 1t APP
pears that for some years there has been feud
between the Col. and the respondent who
owned and occupied adjoining lots in New
Vineyard village, and on the Sd inst the pent
up and slumbering fires of Hatred burst forth
in the following manner, viz: The respondent
was wont to keep hens, as all ladies claim the
right to do, and said hens were in the habit of
peregrinating across on to the grass land of the
Col, which very much disturbed his peace of
mindi and on this remarkable day the Col.
served up quantity of dough in a tin pan and
seasoned it with about pint of salt and one
half pound of saltpetre, and set the pan in his
grass for the allurement of the aforesaid bid
dies. The widow, on seeing the pan surround
ed by her hens, and not entertaining very ex-
allied opinion ofthe purity of the Col. motives
threw the pan with its sailed contents into the
mill pond. The Col. soon after missed it, and
went to the house of the respondent, who was
at work in her woodshed, and demanded to
know the whereabouts of said pan. A few
words followed, not of the most pleasing char
acter, when the widow brought to her aid a
pole some twelve feet long, with which she had
been brushing down cobwebs in her woodshed
and which then contained largo swab of cob.
brushing the Col S face fore and aft. But he
testified that she belabored him over the head
with it until he caught hold of that end, and
'then commenced the tug of war;" Each
strove for the possession of the pole, but the
Col said that she pulled him up hill in the
dooryard i'll spite of his exertions and when
she had drawn MIN up within reaching distance
she dropped the pole and sailed into the gallant
Col. for bear hug. 1t did not appear which
got the "under boil ], but the Col. in an instant
found himself the victim of greatly superior
eclipsed, by lying fiat on his back on wood
pile, with handsome, young, resolute and de-
termined woman bending over him with knees
upon his abdomen, hands clenched in the hair
on each side of his heaG, and his head bearing
the same relation to the woodpile that an old
fashioned churn dasher does to the churn when
in use.
Here the matter ended after the usual
screams of murder in such cases, and the
Col. says that after returning to consciousness,
and few moments soliloquy on the woodpile,
he picked up his hat, placed it upon his van
qnished and injured head, and has been since
Illuminating whether Dean Swift and Lord By
ron ever told half the truth about women.
At the trial III. l.. Whitcomb appeared for
the State, and S. Belcher for the defense.
Notwithstanding the good looks and frank
demeanor of the respondent, the Trial Justice
came to the conclusion that though naughty
words were spoken. that was not justification
for using the pole, and therefore decided that
she pay fine of So and costs of prosecution,
which sum was readily paid.
And now the Col offers to bet 800 that his
antagonist can place either of the counsel en-
gagged in the case upon the woodpie, in the
same manner he was placed. Neither has con-
sented to try the experiment.