Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1875-11-25
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The Transcript.
Tho County has no Official Paper.
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p. cllliarittes.
III. stow. was cold and the kettle wouldn't
boil,
So .he .iltsd tho can and poured on /. little
Gone 70 meet tho man who blew out tho gas.
Bales call great many people out 70
church.
To d, business man must have dollars
and sense.
The Romans urped their dead; We earn
our living.
Men who hsh tor compliments don't
care how dirty the water is.
1t is difficult to tell how much q fish
will weigh BY looking at the scales.
:EQullls are things that are sometimes
taken from the pinlons OF one goose to
spread the opinions Of another.
A Pennsylvania printer who is the faith.
er OF twenty-six children, is puzzling him.
self to account for the hard times.
It is warm for the season around the
Leader office Of Cleveland, Ohio. The
man and woman Of whom the Leader told
that she sawed his leg Oft are making it
warm
GaAhe,ang autumn leaves was formerly
a fashionable amusemsnl, tut since the IT..
ruplion OF the pincn.back dress the gath
eriny has been confined to boys.
A New Jersey female institute contains
thirty Jour red headed girls, and the priu-
cipal ulspcnscs with gas aud all other
artificial OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Herald.
The mysterious disappearance Of an
Italian violin glrl il Providence affords \
possible opportunity for putting in prac-
tlce that good old song, Hang up the i'd
die anu the beau"
Miss Kate Field, writing from London,
suggests that ION given day slmultane-
Gus theatrical representations for tue ben
eft Of the Centennial fund be given
Throughout the eu.ire length and breadth
of the Union"
4 Brooklyn girl Is engaged TO be mar
ried to an Italian Count, aud in the course
Of four OF five years she may he looked
for on the street With 4land-organ play
ing the usual tunes.
You are from .he country, are you not,
siry': asked a city clerk OF Quaker, who
had just arrived. YES" "Me1l, here is
an essay Oh the rearing ofcalves." "'rhat,"
said Amiuadab, as at turned " go: thee
had best present to thy lnother.'
When Missouri engineer ditched his
train he family asked: did it kill any
one who parted his hair in the middle :"
They answered that three su:n were lying
dead. Then | die ha4 py" he sighed,
and was soon no more.
An Italian farmer once offered Victor
Emmanuel mot knowing WHO he was) a
mOlla, worth eight Crn!s, TO shoot tox
that nightly 4oboed his poultry yaru. The
King tuned out al thee O'Clock III .he
morning, shot the tox, and received the
multa
Dickens and Thackery were walking in
Covtnt marAet one day, when they 4 me
to u piac: where tnere we're TWO piles vi
oysters in window, Que pile helAg mark.
ed ninepence dozen and the other six
pence dozen. Thackery stood with his
hands Lelind him, au4 SAID I" Dickens
"How they must bate each o1her."
Says the Burligton Hawkeye: Briefly
stated, our financial views are these: Tie
backs are letter than greelhacks. They
are in greater demand; they are more con-
stan,ly in circulatlon; they are always
boy ant, dre;,dtuliy boyan hey ale al
ways good tor their lace, and are always
quoted ABOVE Par, or mar either.
Artemus Ward, we are told, used to
write with one leg over the arm OF a chair
That was humorous substitute tor pen.
st. Louis Globe Democrat. NJ, SIT; the
humerus is in the arm, near the funny
bone," although, perhaps, tAere may he u
fun knee bone in the leg. His reason to-
writing in this manner was probabl, tc
make his writing more i-ble.-Danbury
News.
Look here, gentlemen, why this how
against ladies striped stock,ngs' 1t !:
your solemn duty as respectable either
to walk along the street with your eyes OF
a-level with second story windows, ane
It's none of your business what kind o
stockings are shown on the cross walks
Anything is preferable to haFefootc{
Womsn.-Detroit Free Press.