The Arizona sentinel., 1875-04-24
MISCELLANY.

to buy piano.
The Ohio Legislature refused
to change a mans to "John
Smith," on the ground that there
was already one John Smith in
that State.
''There f! that explains where
my cfothesline went to :" eXclalm-
ed an Iowa woman as she found
her h usband hanging in the stable.
"YOur son died rather sudden
1y, yesterday, of throat disease"
is what an Idaho sheriff wrote to
a fond mother in Indiana the 9TH
er day.
A Stockton woman couldn't go
to country party the other day
because there was not room
enough in the buggy for her feet.
The Sandwich King took twelve
nice spittoons home with him,
and probably sits up every night
till midnight to spit in them.
1t isn't loud praying which
counts with the Lord SO much as
giving four full quarts for every
gallon" says an Arkansas circuit
rider.
They can't help it-those Chica-
go women. They can't trim their
feet down or unhinge 'em and we
for one shan't throw sIurs any
more.
So we go. A young man in
Otterville, ILL.,, has actually mar
ried his mother. in-law, and they
are living happily in the old
homestead.
When a merchant or any other
business man has withdrawn his
advertisement from before the
public. he is supposed to have re-
tired from business.
A Norfolk husband procured
divorce from his wife because she
liked corned beef and potatoes.
He wanted her to be an angel and
live on Cologne water had gorge
Gus sunset.
Daniel Fender concluded let.
ter, asking Mary to be his, thus:
"And should you say yes dear
Mary, / will ever and faithfully
be your ID. Fender" Daniel
thought that was neat, and 80 did
Mary.
"That clock, stranger" said
Michigan farmer, "was the best
kind of clock up to six months
ago, when my daughter began to
have beaus, and now the blamed
thing is two hours too slow.
Mclean county Progress. One
day last week young girl, whose
parents reside in this county,
swallowed forty percussion caps.
She really deserved spanking,
but her mother RETAINED for fear
of an explosion. Cautions moth
er, that.
A Leavenworth woman recent
ly gave birth to four healthy
babes, while her husband stood
in the next room, slate in hand,
mo1rnfully chalking them down
as fast as they were reported.
While dying. the other day, a
Georgia man took his Wife's hand
and said: "Susan you have been
a good wife ! We've lived to-
gether thirty-two years, and l
never found button off my shirt!
I'll speak good word as soon as
l git thar ~
A gentleman drove 9. sor owful-
looking horse into town last Sat
urday, and, stopping in front of
Bank block, he requested small
boy to hold him a moment, Hold
limp" exclaimed the boy; just
lean him up against the post
that'll hold i'm T"
A Mr.. Wakeman, in Vermont,
started out To borrow hoe. The
Implement must be scarce in Yer
mont, for Mr.. Wakeman has now
been gone sixteen years, and his
wife is growing anxious about
him.
The suhjoined advertisement is
extracted from an Irish news
paper: Missing from Killarney,
Jane O'Fogarty. she had in her
arms two babies and Guernsey
cOw-all black with red hair and
tortoise shell combs behind her
ears and large spots all down her
back. which sQuints awfully."
From the foregoing description,
which is the COW, or which is
Jane UFogarty?
A small lad had just received
his Christmas toy trumpet, to
which he became greatly attach
ed. At night when he was about
to be put in his little bed," and
was ready to say his prayers. he
handed the trumpet to his grand