The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1875-02-05
NIBBs' MIsFORTUNEs.


the severe bruises received in attempting
to demolish an empty -four barrel. than the
poor gentleman was doom ed TO be the re-
cipient of a far more painful batch of con-
tusions.
One morning at the bro kfast table, Mrs.
Nibbs informed Mr.. Nibps that the grape
vine was in shocking state, and sadly
needed trimming. She also requested him
f. to perform the operation.
He refused.
After spirited debate, during which the
kitchen table was overturned, and MIR.
Nibbs received a well buttered pancake
square between the eyes, he finally con-
sented.
Grasping the bread-knife, and rot heed
ing Mrs. Nibbs, who advised him to attire
himself in some cast off garments, he sal
lied out into the backyard.
Grasping one of the Stats, Mr.. Nibbs,
with boy-hke agility, rapidly ascended the
arbor. He had almost reached the top
when an accident occurred.
One of the Stats gave way, and he fell
gracefully downward.
Mr. Nibbs, with great presence of mind,
clutched frlntica-y at the sky, but missed
his grab, and succeeded in planting his
head, up to the ears, in the grass plot.
Hastily regaining his feet he gazed search
ingly about in order to see if his downfall
had been observed by the prying eyes of
his neighbors. Yes, his misfortune had
been witnessed by Mary Ann Moran, the
servant girl who was employed next door.
NJ. A. MS mirth was extremely agra
waiting to the feelings of the unfortunate
Nibbs, and he seized large stone. Step
ping back several PAGES, to give impetuosi-
ty to the missile, he ran with all his might
and then hurled the stone at the humorous
hand-maiden next door.
Mr.. Nibbs' vengeance would probably
have been completed but for an unexpected
interruption
In his blind rage he failed to observe that
the clothes line lay stretched directly across
his path. Consequently. while he was at
the top of his speed, with every muscle
strained to its utmost tension, the said line
caught him directly under the chin. Mr..
Nibbs flew violently backward and struck
the wood-house with sickening crash.
The stone fell short of the mark and
went wiggling through the back basement
windows.
Mr.. Nibbs finally recovered his breath,
and gave vent TO his pent emotions in -
series Of new and original epithets.
Nibbs is a man of great resolution, and,
nothing daunted by the sad rebuffs he had
experienced, he proceeded to mount the ar
Dor again-this time with much less boyish
agility, however.
He reached the top again, and began
work. Everything went along swimmingly
for while, and he thought to himself what
an easy task that of a gardener His
opinion was soon altered, however.
In his ardor Mr. Nibbs stretched hisbody
forward to its full extent. The slat crcak-
ed. Mr.. Nibbs, fearing that the slat WAS
breaking. threw himself suddenly back
ward, In 50 doing, the point of inertia was
thrown without the base, and consequently.
recording TO philosophy, MI. Nibbs vas
bound 10 fall.
MIR. Nibbs was swooPing down toward the
brick walk below, Ike some great bird,
when a large hook intercepted his fiji sht
The sIid hook buried itself into the bay
window of his plntaloons. but as the mate
rial was not strong enough to bear his
weight, he continued his downward course.
and finally landed.
Had nIr. Nibbs landed upon the brick
walk, we would now be writing an obituary
notice instead of humorous article
Mr. Nibbs' wife, with her customary
thoughtlessncss, had failed to replace the
cover over the wcll-hole, and splash into the
well s;liled Mr.. N.
The water was very deep. and unplels-
antly cold, and the luckless Nibbs began
treading water, AMI nrumbiing Now lay
me- etc. at great rate.
Mrs Nibbs heard the crash Of the break
ing Stats. and ra,.ched the door just in time
to see Mr.. Nibbs disappear like some great
buIl-frog into the we'll. Seizing a long
clothes-po she. after much exertion, sue
ceedcd in rescuing the ill-starred Nibbs
from a watcry grave.
The excitement was too much for him,
and for several days he lay 1T the poiut
of illness, expecting every moment to be
his nsxt.
And now if any person wants to know
Just how it feels to be struck with Il pile
driver, just let him request Mr.. Nibbs to
favor him with a brief synopsis of tho
adventures experienced by novice in en-
deavoring to perform the labors of IA gar
dcncr. especially that branch which relates
to the grating and pruning of trees and
vines.
MARRIAGE among the Burmese Is a most