The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-12-18

diana is not By any means the most Remarkable
Of the devices employed for that purpose. Geor
gia offers something more astonishing in pic
ture Of an absurd summer-house supported b.
three pillars, and guarded by continental soldie
with weak legs; and Kentucky presents figure
OF Gen. Washington in the act Of holding up al
intoxicated friend in order to keep him from
falling against u bookcase in the background
After this CALIFORNIA; device of Minerva sittini
on stone; while cinnamon bear nibbles he
left leg, seems artistic and NICE"
Who wouldn't have mother.in-lawY TIT
station agent OF the Ill. Central at Mnooka re
ceived, a week ago, from his mother-in-law IL
Louisiana, barrel of delicious oranges.
Mrs. Thomas Gum, of Clay county, Iowa,
lady n years of age, week ago gave birth TO
fine boy. At last accounts the little son OF
Gum was doing well.
Editorial amenities in Louisiana are peculiar
This is the way the newspapers in that state talk
II that convicted thief and robber, Jim Walker
wants any fuss with US he can have steel OF
buckshot in unlimited quantities by poklng ii!
nose around our corner"
Wanted, to hear OF the man or woman who
doesn't appreciate kindly mention by the public
press. ttR
Or that don't get mad II you even hint in the
paper at truths about them that are the common
talk in private circles!
We challenge the world to produce collar
that will keep clean longer, without washing
than the Elmwood.-Ez
We never tried collar made ef elm wood, Blu,
have known hickory shirt collar to 60 without
washing for month.
Though the average length Of the days in De.
cember is less than hours, a note at the bank
draws full interest for and natures in thirty days
the came rs in June, when the days are nearly
twice as long.
Col. Blanton Duncan, of Louisville, Ky, il
about to remove to Texas, where he can sing:
When every other land forsakes US,
This is the only one that Texas.
Mexica has girl at calapa with three arms
Couldn't she make things lively, though at a
domestic hair.rulling'
The following, set to music, would go well
with bootjack accompaniment:
That's right-leave the door open, you chronic
old bore. Otherwise no one else would get
credit for shutting 1t. Were you raised in a
barn.
Zach. Chandler, the new Secretary of the Int.
rior, proposes to 20 to the bottom of the Indian
affairs He will, II some one will hide a bottle
OF whisky there. ia.
The Detroit Free Press says the Satrors baby
will be home in time for Christmas dinner. But
II doesn't explain whether they are going to
have II broiled or roastcd.--Boston Post.
A foreign paper says that forty OF the young
ladies at Harvard College recently elopcd in one
day, and that they are being pursued with guns
The people over the water try to be friendly, but
they do mix up things In wonderful manner.
Such has been the rush TO the revival meet
ings in Philadelphia during the past week thai
II was found necessary to exclude the represen
tatives OF the press altogether. Not being In
any special need Of redeeming grace, Of cours,
they made room chccrfully for lawyers, bankers
preachers and such unsanctifed rubbish.
The reason why Don Carlos can't be put dowi
in Spain is revealed in the discovery Of the fac
that he has an official organ. Nothing can pre-
vent his gaining Victories until that is sup
pressed.
Professor Fields, at Mendoza, claims to hay
discovered new process OF converting iron in
to steel. That's nothing. Joyce, Mcdonald
Babcock and hosts Of other friends OF Presiden
Grant have made a good steal out of whisky.
Bears in Wisconsin arc not going into winte
quarters, the say Indians. This indicates mill
season, but makes it bad for stray calves an,
small boys.
The New York World calls him Mizzer Chan
dlcr, tail -twister 10 ordinary to the British lion