Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1875-07-29
He had AN ITEM FOR Us.

been at one time a side-show blower,
Or candy butcher for a circus. But
he wasn't; he told us so.
! He was long, cadaverous-looking
party, and he wore his hair in the
Tiltonian style. The rubber string that
held the butterfly to his paper collar
seemed to be on bad terms with some
body or something; for, instead Of
keeping fast hold of the collar but.
ton, as was its business, it just allowed
that butterfly to flop around to its
hearts content-sometimes with one
end pointing to his chin and at others
to the diamondQ) stud in his paper
shirt-bosom.
We were writing our editorial on
Jones Falls when he came in the office
and placed his shiny beaver on the
table. We thought he came to collect
stamps enough to purchase piano for
apoor widow, or sewing machine for
the Indians. So, with the generosity
we are so noted for, we ''went through"
our clothes in search of nickle. The
object of our search being accomplish
ed, We smilingly held out the money to
| him.
He stared wildly at us for moment,
then put his hand in his coat tail pocket
and drew forth roll of manuscript
''This, said he, sis grand"
Then he sat down on the edge of
our table, unrolled the manuscript, and
placed it before us.
''Read that i" said he. Perhaps you
are not aware that am an author
and
We ventdred to remark that we were
very busy just then, but if he would
call around in about ten years we
would be happy to accommodate him.
"This story" he said, 'took me
eleven years to finish, and l can guaran-
tee it to be the best ever
Cant possibly oblige you," we re-
marked. ooh, 1 see," said the long par
ty. perhaps you are more on poetry.
Now, when you come to poetry, I'm at
home that's just where I live. l reck-
on l write more poetry than any seven
teen men in Baltimore. Just let me
give you sample what 1 can do.
''Teach me to feel another's VICE."
We looked around for our club, but
somebody had moved it. We whistled
for the dog, but he wouldn't answer.
Then we tried to reason with him.
We told him we hadn't the slightest
doubt as to his ability, but if he could
possibly make it aconvenient to call
around some other time.
He ran his fingers through his hair
and smiled.
81 see you don't want any poetry. I
can tell by mans looks whether he
wants poetry or not; but l have an
item, he said, ''that you would be glad
to have
"What is it," we asked murder
scandal?"
''There's where you hit it," he said,
Scandal is the name for it every time.
am the only person except the parties
implicated who has the slightest knows
ledge of it."
Then he became interested, aud I'M
vited the long party to take a chair.
He favored lis with the same old smile,
drew chair close to US, and whisper.
ed -
cali the parties are heightened"
Thep he looked around the room to
see if any one was listening. We be
came excited, and prepared to take
notes.
"Well," said be, "the affair happened
| in distant CITY,"
Gin distant city, we repeated, "and
the parties are -
"First-class people move iii the best
society,"
Then we blew his nose, and look ed
very wise
'sBut their names-1 am bound to
secrecy you see; but as you have been
very kind to me I'll give you theil
names in preference to any.other paper
We thanked him, and after he had
finished blowing his nose, he continu-
ed -
ale is preacher, and his name is
Beech
| He never finished the name. We
had letter press on the table, and, as
his head was rather neat 1t, we just
gave it "little shove, and we had il
fast. We screwed that press dowr
tighter than twenty,horse pow .
engine could have done it. We were
mad
Due notice will be given of the fun
eral.- Ward Wood IN Sunday Zele
gram.
-----a< S------------
A man went into furniture room a
Mankato the other day and sat dow
on q wooden bottomed chair. He i'm
mediately arose and danced around Xix,