The Rutland daily globe. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1873-1877, 1875-07-30
From the Detroit Free Press.l
THE BOY AT THE SODA FOUNTAIN.
A Stirling Tale that he Told to q Poor Old
LADY who was Thirsty.

Lady who was Thlrsty.
Hewas rinsing tie glasses when the old
lady entered the store. 1t was hot weather
and the soda fountain looked so tempting
that she conquered her avarice and walked
over and told the boy that she would take
glass.
.'Do you wish or 1y in ii ?" he nlu red
in whisper.
ga hyr' grashus o." she rerled,
look of disgust on her face.
"Just as you say. madam" he went on as
he drew some lemon syrup. people arc
so different in tastes, you know. Some oh
ject to flies and some don't. III mix some
pineapple syrup with this lemon, and now
will You have n great deal of gas and little
water, or grea: deal of water and little
gas?"
'T'm purity thirsty" she said.
"Well, then you want more water than
gas, and there won't be So much danger Of
an explosion"
"Explosion?' she queried.
"That was the word, madam. We have
had but few such accidents here this sum
mer. and truly hope that we may have no
no more"
'sDoes soda water blow up folks?"
s'That depends on the state of their
health. Some people could stand here and
drink all day, while others might get the
glass tipped up this way, and boom! they'd
go!"
"Bust?'
"Yesm--ny into thousand pieces.
You never saw a human being explode, did
you?"
"Mercy, not"
s'Well, you don't have the least warn
ing. They may be laughing or talking,
and all at once the store is filled with false
hair, monogram garters, bustles. cursets,
feet, teeth, and rolled plate jewelry. 1t
makes great muss around here, and if we
hadn't three of the smartest negroes in
town to pick up and sweep out we'd have
to shut up the store for whole afternoon
after an explosion"
He stood with the glass in his hand agi-
tating the syrup and waiting, and she said ::
81 didn't suppose it was dangerous stuff"
"Well. as told you it depends on the
state of the system. If your liver is tor
pid and your digestion impaired, one glass
of soda water would blow you higher than
Gilderoy's kite, and the coroner would be
lucky to find as much at your spectacies to
hold an inquest on. If your system is all
right, you might drink hundred glasses
and'feel no disastrous effects. Now, then,
you'll have good deal of water and but
little gas, eh?"
She made deprecatory motion and
asked:
elbows the stuff madef 2"
"Well, i cant go on and explain all the
process. There's marble dust, acid, gas,
sugar-coated pills, giant powder, cologne
water and kerosene all mixed together and
then distilled. The distilled liquid is placed
in a retort, where a chemical action sep
arates it, and the gas forces it up separate
pipes"
''Kerosene and plls!" she gasped.
''Thats what l said, madam. You looi
innocent and honest, and hope you won
say anything about it. l tend this fountain
in order to support a widowed mother an,
seven fatherless children. If you shoult
say anything I'd be discharged, and if
were discharged | should commit suicide
You'll have plenty of water, eh?'
mo, sir. | WON'T" she replied. "D'
you suppose I'd drink acids and kerosene?
"Not in their crude state, madam, bu
this process"
II don't care for the process" she snap
ped 81 wouldn't touch the stuff
at is mild beverage, madam, and tn
doc"
"Well, don't want any. When | go t.
swalering tar and lard and kerosene-you'
know it Sposen ! drank some and ex
ploded!.'
Don't mention it, he whispered
"Don't speak of t!'
Sim sorry for you, young man, bu
there's a constable living right in sight o
our house, and think III
"You'll drive me to "A suicides grave
you mean"
She lowered her spcctacles, took a lon
look at him, and oent out without reply
ing.