The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1875-09-02
The Bureau Drawer.
fDanbury News

[Danbury News.l
The man who viii invent bureau
drawer which will move out and in with
cut hitch will not only secure fortune
but will attain to an eminence in history
not second to the greatest warriors
There is nothing perhaps always except
ing stove pipe, that will SO exasperate
q man as a bureau drawer which will not
shut. 1t is deceptive article. 1t will
start off all right. then it pauses at one
end while the other swings in as far il
can. 1t is the custom to throw the
whole weight of the person against the
end which sticks. If any one has sue
ceeded in closing drawer by so doing
he will confer favor by sending his adj
dress to this Office. We have seen men
do this several times, and then run
from the other side of the room and
jump with both feet against the obstinate
end. This doesn't appear to answer the
purpose any better, but it is very satisfy
ing. Mrs. Halcomb was trying to shut a
bureau drawer, Saturday morning, but
it was an abortive effort. Finally she
burst into tears. Then Mr.. Halcomb
told her to stand aside and see him
do it.
"You see," said Mr.. Halcomb, with
quiet dignity, "that the drawer is all
awry. That's what makes it stick. Now
anybody but woman would see at
once that to move drawer in that posi-.
tion would be impossible. / now bring
out this other end even with the other;
SO. Then l take hold of both knobs, and
with an equal pressure from each hand
the drawer moves easily in. See?"
The dreadful thing moved readily for
ward for distance of nearly two inches.
Then it stopped abruptly.
"Ah W observed Mrs. Halcomb, begin
ming to look happy again.
Mr.. HalcOmb very properly made no
response to this ungenerous expression,
but he gently worked each end of the
drawer to and fro, but without success.
Then he pulled the drawer all the way
out, adjusted it properly, and started it
carefully back. 1t moved as if it was
Oh oiled wheels. Mr.. Halcomb smiled.
Then it stopped. Mr.. Halcomb looked
solemn.
perhaps you amt got the ends ad.
justed," suggested the unhappy Mrs.
Halcomb.
Mr.. Halcomb made no reply. Were
itnot for an increased flush in his face it
might have been doubted il he. heard the
remark at all. He pushed harder at the
drawer than was apparent to her, but it
didn't move. He tried to bring it back
again, but it wouldn't come.
Are you sure you have got every
thing out of here you want?" he finally
asked, with a desperate effort to appear
composed.
ooh, that's what you are stopping for,
is it? But you needn't; Ihave got what
l wanted you can shut it right up"
Then she smiled very wicked smile.
He grew Iedder in the face, and set
his teeth firmly together, and put all his
to the obdurate drawer, while a
hard look cleaned in his eye.
But it did not move. He pushed it
harder.
"Ooh," he groaned.
"Pm afraid you haven't got the ends
she maliciously suggested.
A scowl settled on his face, while he
strained every muscle in the pressure.
"What dumb fool put this drawer to-
gether, I'd like to know ?" he snapped
out.
She made no reply, but she felt that
she had not known such happiness since
the day she stood before the altar with
him, aud orange blossoms in her hair.
"Pd like to know what i'm thunder
you've been doing to this drawer, Jane
Halcomb ?" he jerked out.
/" l amt done any thing to it," she re-
piled.
"I know BETTER" he asserted.
well, know what you please for all
l care" she sympathizinSly retorted.
The cords swelled up on his neck, and
the corners of his mouth grew white.
"I'll shut that drawer or I'll know the
reason of it," he shouted and he jumped
up and gave it passionate kick.
go, my" she exclaimed.
He dropped on his knees again and
grabbed hold of the knobs, and swayed
and pushed at them with all his might.
But it didn't move.
=" Why in heavens name don't you
open the window? Do you want to
smother me ?" he passionately cried.
1t was warm-dreadfully warm. The
perspiration stood in great drops on his
face, or ran down into his neck. The
birds sang merrily out the door, and the
glad sunshine lay in golden sheets upon
the earth; but he did not notice them.
He would have given five dollars if he
had not touched the accursed bureau
he would have given ten if he had never
been born. He threw all his weight on
both knobs. 1t moved then. 1t went to
its place with suddenness that threw
him from his balance, and brought his
burning face against the bureau with
force enough to skin his nose and fill his
eyes with water to degree that was
binding.
Then he went out on the back stoop
and sat there for an hour, scrowling al
the scenery.