The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1875-03-31


ter is making Rome howl. .ras sw
s.'The more swallows youy take"
said Guzzlem, 1.-The more it's like
spring arT
Many of the Ohio banks are bro
ken, but all have iquidated since the
thaw.
Ark! 1t is predicted that the
spring foods viii be the greatest
since Noah's.
A sailor was sent to Jail for ten
daysin Glasgow, for refusing to work
before breakfast. @
The Milwaukee News suggests
.IIe giveth his beloved Sleep as
text for prosy ministers. aeiF
A young man has sued his barber
for cutting off his moustaehe. The
barber says he didn't see it. T
Miss Lavinia Goodell. of James
vile, is celebrated as " the only No
taryess Publiccss in Wisconsin.
The third volume of the Count de
Paris 8 History OF civil war in Amer
lea" is printed in Paris. and the au-
thor has nearly Completed the fourth
volume. -s.a- 3H
5 The scheme for building railroad
from Russia to Asia is considered
impracdcaple by the Gear.
A Miss Owen died at Liverpool
from injuries received through being
knocked down on the street by a
large dog.
The latest in umbrellas is an oval
pane of glass inserted in the front
breadth to "sight" anything APP
preaching.
The medical profession is vindi-
Gated. A maiden lady in Leith
Walk, Edinburg, died recently and
left $1,000 to her physicians.
Mr. Darwin will doubles be pain
ed to learn that the Sheriff at Ker-
saw, South Carolina, has levied ona
monkey to satisfy a debt.
A London man, who was shaving
one Sunday morning recently. com
mitted suicide by cutting his throat
because the razor was duh.
Crocuses, double daisies, aconite,
snow-drops, and other harbingers of
spring. are in flower at Markinch,
Fifeslire, Scotland.
I: is estimated that Rhode Is
land highway commissioner feels as
pompous as the Gar of Russia, al
though his salary isn't as large.
An Illinois girl got so mad at be-
ing rebuked for reading the New
York Ledger that she went out and
sawed cord Of hard wood twice in
two. ..s
japanese law requires that when Il
person cuts down tree he shall at
once plant another in its place In
this way the supply of wood is
kept up.
Fashionable clergyman: "Letu
| continue our worship this morning by
listening TO piece of sheet music
which the hired quartette will please
execute" r.-.s
The cheapest rhinoceroses are
4 $4,000 apiece. Small capitalists will
do well to invest at once, as the
price is likely to go up as soon as
the circus season opens.
A Cairo man warns people not to
trust his wife, and she retorts by
saying that he'll go without clothes
all summer before she'll take in
washing TO rig him out again. s
The Governor of Iowa has ap-
pointed Miss Z. c. StebbiBs, of New
Hampton, Chickasaw county, nota-
ry public. She is the only woman
holding that office in the State.
tits said that Miss Lille Eldridge,
who was called on her own posters
1.-THE American Juliet" whatever
that is, is to marry Charley Backus,
the rich colored minstrel.
may be ever so rich, ever so fine.
ly educated. ever so handsome, ever
so much admired, and yet the dayis
coming when shall die What then
will these profit me? iaf
DIR. Cuyler wants all young ladies
to band together and say: No lips
shall touch my lips that have touch
ed n bottle. Rather rough, this, on
the fellows that were brought up by
hand.
The bin annually introduced and as
frequently rejected in tile British
Parliament to allow a man to marry
| bis deceased wife's sister In face
tiously named "the bill TO abolish
sisters-in-law."
/ Pause. young man. You want to
get married, and it is about time you
did INIT racoltect tbot unmarriad