National Republican., 1875-07-29


the administration of the General Government
for four years there would be no certainty
about it, perhaps not even possibility.
Spotted Tall says he never had daughter
that he knows of, therefore she never loved
pale face; he never scorned her love, neither
did she die of grief for him. Thus this pretty
romance is demolished. Old Spot was always
an unromantic chap and age doesn't improve
him. '-
= Wouldn't IL be wise for our Christian friends
to delay the visit of sankey and Moody to this
city until after the assembling Of Congressf
There is much in the makeup of The next ses-
sion that needs the elevating influences OF
frst-class revival. WhewI but itwould be an
everlasting task though. -,--.- n......
Tammany has expelled John Morrissey. This
leaves an unusually large vacancy In that
notorious society Of political vultures, and
we know of no human being so wen cal
culated in all his physical, moral and men
tai appointments to fill the place as his pen
itential majesty Boss Billy Tweed. "
A young woman Of sweet seventeen stole in
q Minnesota mans bedroom and purloined
seven dollars of his money while be was
asleep. The amount isn't of much importance,
but most men would prefer standing up
against the door all night, rather than have
Young lady prowling around in his bedroom.
Gorham challenged Booth who had attacked
him, to stump the State with him, but Booth
dares not accept the challenge Gorhsm
charged Booth with having parceled out Off
cial positions so as to gain votes to make him
self Senator. Booth is dumb.-Ezehdnge.
If he would remain in that State till Ga
briel toots his trumpet the country would
gladly acquiesce.
Some of the yirulent Democratic press Of the
State of New York predict that the bulk of the
Liberal party will vote hereafter with the Re-
publicans, and now some of the unstable Re.
publican papers want to nominate two or three
Liberals on the State ticket, as reward for
whats This question will please his Satanic
majesty, no doubt, and give him something
new to think about.
The lively y-jawed potato beetle set sail for
Canada six weeks ago, and arriving last Mon
day commenceda systematic warfare upon the
potato leaf. The lovers Of the ponae de terre
are puzzling their heads in efforts to secure
some means by which they may rid themselves
of these herbiyerous pests. breakfast beetle
fried or stewed to order" will soon be posted
in the Ottawa restaurants.
The Bulletin says " Some Of the foremost
Journals at the East have named Governor
Booth as q suitable candidate for the next
Presidency" President of whats Let us see.
Perhaps Of the new Judas college, founded re-
Gently by a party Of weak-minded, timid-
struck Republicans, for the purpose Of furnish
ing instruction in all branches of infdelity,
gush, and political imbecility. -
Grandma Davis, ex-president and recently
presidential nominee for the Agricultural Col
lege of Texas, would make an excellent presi-
dent for the Elmira Female Seminary. Mrs.
Davis old frock that he wore when captured
and the bonnet are still unoccupied. Encased
in these no one could discover whether he was
q woman or a female, and besides they would
become his present mental and physical condi-
tion so well.
Mr.. c. B. Lewis, the humorist Of the Detroit
Free Press, has this dedication to his forth
coming book: "To the Pawnee Tribe of In
dams, whose enterprise, talent, and statesman
ship, coupled with the fact that they rise
early, go TO bed late, and are always around
when wanted, and who cheerfully roasted one
of my ancestors at the stake, without reward
or the hope of reward, is this volume respect
fully dedicated by the author"
The Rochester Chronicle attempts to justify
Cain for killing Abel on the ground that he
told lies about him. 'Taint 80. Abel told the
old gentleman time and again that he could
not tell lie, and he had no uttfruit-tree IN
centiye for doing so either. Cain did the thing
out of a purely mean motive. He wanted
Ahel's fig leaf and bean-shooter, and saw no
other way Of securing them. We can prove
this by the reOently-discovered rock tablets.
The Democratic editors of the State of Mis-
sissippi will start on their excursion North the
9th proximo. They have quietly left the Re-
publican and Liberal press Of the State to get
up an excursion of their own. 1t isn't right,
but it may be in accordance with the eternal
fitness Of things, for birds Of feather should
flock together. There is something singular
in the fact that this new departure should have
occurred simultaneously with the yearly ad-
vent Of watermelons. But wonders still thrive.
While several gentlemen were discussing the
subject Of buying the literary property at We'll
den, N. c., few days since, Tom Emry
gave vent to some strong invsctives which
were directed at Captain Day, who immedi.
ately resented the oiense by drawing a reyol-
yer. Emry requested that he be permitted
to arm himself, which was granted. After
receiving the weapon he returned and lively
fire was opened on both sides. They managed
to keep behind two large posts and shoot very
crooked. No blood.
According to all human probability Donald
son has crossed the Jordan, and Is making the
best of his time In constructing a mammoth
balloon in which he will ride upon the heavenly
winds in search Of some new current. If he
has got anything good now, anything that will
make him conteuted, all kindly-disposed peo-
pie Will wish him well and hope he'll be quiet:
but If he makes another ascension the patience
Of the world will be mingled with the patience
of heaven, and both having ceased to be yir
tue, angels and mortals will let him rip.
The editor Of the Goldsboro' MesSaoer
charges the civil rights and social equality on
the Republican party. Here Is disagreeabIe
example of Inconsistency. The State docket
tells q tale against this man which shows how
strongly he was opposed to civil rights and So
cial equality. Upon that docket he stands in
dicted for fornication and adultery with negro
woman of the town. The plea to the charge
is "guilty." He doesn't like social equality,
however. Thrs Is something to him about It
that is repulsive, but his actions have never
announced wherein lies the objection. When
a man advises people not to associate with his
own flesh aud blood there must be something
rotten in Denmark. The father can't be Q
manly man.
Those noble humsnitarians Of the East
whose sympathetic hearts are distilled through
the lachrymaI glands Of the eyes whenever
they hear Of inishap to an Indian, have now q
good chance to bathe themselves In tears and
make the country dolorous with the expression
of their woe. Lone Bear-how suggestive the
name Of loneliness and desolation, OF darkness
and prowling-one Of the Indian prisoners re-
Gently sent to st. Augustine. Florida,
has become insane. The free spirit this noble
savage first sought liberty through suicide,
failing in which It skaters its fran tenement
and sits q monarch of madness amid the ruin.
Let some of our frst-class philathropists seize
this theme and propel few volumes of blank
verse f1ron the hear rer,di,or aeynr,iaa of tho