Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-08-12

Hope is the hankerer Of the soul.
A profit is appreciated in its own coun

THE bakers MAXIM" Whatever riz
is light
They now call retired printers ex
pressmen.
Curiosity about trifes is mark of a
little mind.
A mule, wash-tub and a fine comb
are considered fine bridal outfit in Flori-
da.-Detron Free Press.
Railroad travel, which was extremely
light during the spring and early summer,
is panning OUT finely now.
"A Saratoga belle has become insane
! from unrequited love, and makes night
bideous with cries and groans.
Query for Naturalists-If a bird in the
hand is worth two in the bush, is a mole
on the face worth two in the ground?
Why is one of the rank and file who
has failed to obtained promotion like an
illicit machine? Because he is private
still
The gardener who hung an old coat
ont to frighten birds away and afterward
found young brood in oneof thepockets
wants another remedy.
-"Typod feaver,"" collary," cansor,"
"paralises," "rumatis," teathing" and
"boul complaint" are the diseases of which
Buffalo people die. The census-taker says
So
The owners of two steam-tugs in San
Francisco Bay are going to lash their boats
together by the stern steam up, and see
which is the most powerful, for $500
side
Don't bewail the misfortune that pre-
vents YOU being partner in some of the
great banking houses Of the land; to-
morrow it may be your good fortune that
YOU are not.
Mr.. N. p. Coleman, of Newington,
n. H.. uses pair of wheels on one of his
farm wagons which were used by the
Marquis de Lafayette during his visit to
America in 1924.
When Philadelphia editor opens
paper which doesn't refer to the Centen-
ni,l at least once on every page he filings
it down and wants to know how such
wretch is permitted to exist
Herbert Spencer says women are more
conservative than men; but Herbert is
bachelor, and does not know what it is to
have porcelain sugar bowl miss his head
and give the glazier a heavy contract.
A Medina Pa.) physician, while
peacefully engaged in robbing the grave
Oh Il ucdtl negro lOI SClcHtiuC pun posCS,
had an eve shot out by some unfeeling
person who sought to retard the march of
science.
The editor of the New York Express
is threatened with beer garden in front
of his country residence in case he does
not buy several acres of land opposite at
twice its value. He promises a retaliatory
bone factory.
6 e.,
ry, this is too awful! Here come the
Wellington Slowbones, who've invited us
to dine with them some day next week,
and I've Just posted letter to them de-
clining the invitation and I've suddenly
forgotten what excuse nader
The fate of Miss Newton, of Delaware,
was indeed sad one. Fresh from board
ing-school with n gay life of flutes and
rose-leaves and moonbeams before her,
she was so shocked and mortified when
she heard her mother mispronounce
word in the presence of company that she
went upstairs and poisoned herself. Moth
ers ought to be more careful. If they can't
pronounce words correctly, when company
comes they ought to conceal themselves
In the kitchen. -LouisuilB Courier-Jou
aal
-" Can you write good financial ar
tice?' said a boss editor to a new man.
Oh, yes that is my stronghold on the
PRESS said the new man, and he imme-
datey sat down and dashed of a written
promise to pay small amount of money.
This he signed and handed in for inspec
ton. The boss said that as he was run
ming conservative pepper he was not pre-
pared to indorsc all the stranger had
written, but that if he would go and pre-
pare a carefuly-written obituary notice of
himself he would publish it with great
pleasure
The other day, when Vicksburg boy
had trouble with neighbours boy and
came out firstbest, he realized that some
thing must be done at home, and he slid
into the house and said Mother you
know how good and kind you have been
to Mrs. B, next door," Yes, have
tried to be a good neighbor to her"
Well, do you know that she says you
clean your teeth with whitewash- brush,
and that father ought to have pension
Tor living with you?" He slid out, and
when Mrs B reached the gate, on her
way 10 the house to ask why her boy must
be- pounded up in that way, she heard
sarIll voice calling out; Vile wretch,
cont YOU enter that gate or you'll get
Scalded" She .eturned home, and the
Young statesman dropped down under a
>4a1ciree, kicked up his heels, and softly
chdckled: THAT settles her, and now i
want to catch her Tom again for just four
leen seconds. - Fichsb1rg Keruld.
a