Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1875-05-28
The UniveraaI G ement.

ed IL as canult ate LOT puDllc ldVOF auu
styled ii the "only true and Universal Ce-
ment." But he had very little to show for
his stock in trade.
Usually when one ventures upon this
line of business he has a cracked teapot, or
a soup-tureen, or a couple Of pieces OF stick
roughly fastened together. One smasbes
the crockery, and shows that the old frac-
lures are broken across by the new, as
though they had not ever existed. Or
one whacks the sticks with mallet, and
meanwhile vociferates the merit of the
composition which secures them.
This man did nothing of the sort. In a
deep, monotonous voice heard him say
ing "This is the only true, real, and gen.
uine Universal Cement. Here you see it
done up in this small package. Easily
carried in the vesl-pocket-such a cement,
gentlemen and ladies', as the world has new
er known. The secret of its manufacture
belongs entirely to myself. / have no
agents, and 1 want none. Here's your
true, real, genuine Universal Cement, war
rented to mend broken hearts so they'll be
as good as new. / mended a mans head
with it the other day. They said he was
cracked, but cured him. It's good even
for broken banks. II can be used for pub
lie outbreaks or for family jars. 1t is
guaranteed to heal any breach between
partners in business or for life. Here's
your true, genuine Universal Cement
the thing the worlds been looking for and
sought, but hasn't found"
By this time 1 was leaning against a
doorway listening. The crowd passed
along, but the spare man, holding up some
small white boxes in his hand kept on ad
dressing the moving throng. Strangely
enough, he never seemed TO repeat any
thing except the announcement that this
was the "lrue, real, genuine Universal
Cement" All else that he uttered was
new. AS listened, he proceeded:
"This is the finest thing in the world
when one has been cut by an acquaintance.
1t will heal the wound instantly and leave
no scar. People who live in glass houses
will find it to their advantage TO have some
of this true, real, genuine Universal Cs-
ment. II will mend a mans life right
away, without half trying, just as easily as
it will stop leak in the household expens-
es. 1t has been known to fasten two enc
mics together like the Siamese twins.
Where's the man who would be without the
true, real, genuine Universal Cement7 It's
| the greatest thing on earth for max ing firm
the fabric of society. 1t will mend damag-
ed reputation and that is more than most
cements will do.
Ladies and gentlemen, try my true, real
/ To t. 4; 4
for hurt feelings. 1t will make the honor
able gentlemen in Congress stick to their
principles. 1t has drawn together oppos-
ing interests, and held them firm. 1 don't
know anything it can't do. It's the only
true, real, genuine Universal Cement. II
you want box to take home and"
"What's it WORTH" said l, stepping for
ward.
''Take it at your own price, sir. Make
me an Offer"
"a quarter ought to buy it," said 1.
"Yes, it's cheap at that-dog cheap" said
the thin man. "But l must know what
you want TO mend.
"oh-ho - said 1. 81 thought that was
my business entirely. guess don't care
for any," and was moving off.
"Wait a minute" cried the spare man
"Here's box for nothing. Put II in YOU
pocket. Are you the father of family
Yes, l see it in your face. Well, sir,
know you need my cement. You look a
if things were not going right with you
Let me recommend this in the case of fam
lily government. Just take the contents o
this box and put it on your child's fore
head before you strike. This is the real
genuine Universal Cement, and ii has a re
markable value in ease of discipline"
"Man alive, what are you talkinI
about2 ?" / exclaimed. al want to bu,
it will mend china, that's all l ask of il
My wife scolded me because l broke
nice tea. cup at break fast, and if it make
that all right 1 don't grudge the quarter
Here, give me that box. Good-by."
, So saying, put the little white pack ag
in my pocket, tossed bit of Uncle Sam
, currency to the dealer, and hurried OF
leaving him addressing nobody in partiC
ular, in much the same strain as before.
1 confess the incident affected me strange
ly. The mans appearance and languag
were above his calling. He looked like
o broken down minister, and he evidentl
met with the very poorest kind of patroI
= age. carried the box in my pocket a
n day, getting vexed at il because it was a
obstacle TO the ready capture of pencil {
a knife. At night, when 1 was returnin
from business, had like to have lost il
4 feeling for my commutation ticket.
I LOT Nv xuifa no
! been annoyed by the servants, and tram
b. ferred part of her annoyance to my innt
Il. cent head at once. For my own part,
+. felt personally aggrieved because l was
" drink my coffee from iron-stone, instead
. china. We were in precisely the state
mind TO be unpleasant to each other. Ant
= as the children had finished their meal az
the servant was not In the room, the lowe
y. ing clouds commenced 10 bristle vii
lightnings.
1t was that tea-cup-Aunt Dorothea
a present, with my monogram upon it
n which made the trouble. Igrowled at Il
A iron-stone and was twitted with. my clun
ir sness.
n All at once it occurred TO me that hi
A. that box of Universal Cement in my pocl
: ct. Happy thought would effect d
a version and escape hot shot now fallir
n thick aud fast. therefore took it out.
.r opened it. found, TO my disgust, only
"a small piece of paper. On 1t was writ,
a the single word Love"
= 1 could not understand it, Meth
"a could my wife. We forgot about the te
q cup in our discussion of the Universal C
ment.
The next morning, read in the pap