Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1875-09-21
Il . u oRous.
Swallowing a Man.

ntrsagly tinctured with love for the hui
msrous. He had been down to Concord, aud
had ssen the Fakir of Ava perform his Won
dsrful trick of legerdemain. He was ro-
lating his experience in the bar-room of the
Conway House, and among other things he de-
elared that he had gained an insight into
many of the magiciads manipulstions, and
that several of the most wonderful tricks he
could perform himself
For instance" said he, t'I can swallow
man whole"
BAH cried Tom Staples, redfaced
WoOdsman, weighing at least two hundred;
''prnps you could swallow me 81
: Eyes"
I'D ike to see you do it."
ST can do it"
"Ill bet fifty dollars you can't"
81 II take that bst'
"Then let's see you begin"
Not now, / have just eaten supper. I
will do it Tomorrow morning. in the presence
OF as many witnesses as you choose and it
shall be done in the Square in front of the
hotel.n
This was agreed to, and the money was put
up. By the following morning the news that
John Thomas was TO swallow Tom Staples
whole had become widespread, and vast
eonconrse, embracing men, women aud chill.
dren, had assembled to witness the wonderful
feat.
at the appointed tino the chief actors
appeared in the square. John Thomas smil-
ing confidently, as though sure of success;
while Tom Staples looked little timid and
uneasy, as though not quite at rest concerning
what was to become of him.
care you ready 2" asked John.
"All ready" answered Tom. "Begin as
soon as you please"
''Will you have the goodness to take off
your hat?"
"Sartin"
''NoB your boots"
Tom removed his boots
"Next you will remove your coat Those
big brass buttons might stick in my throat"
Tom took of his coat aud as he threw it
upon the ground one of the cooks came out
Of the hotel with pail Of melted lard aud
big white-wssh brush which he deposited by
the side of John Thomas.
"Now," pursued John, s.you will take off
your stockings, and then remove your panta-
looms and shirt"
'tEh? Dye mean for me to strip stark
naked 2" queried Tom, aghast.
"Of course 1 do. The agreement was that
was to swallow you. You are meat, but
your clothes aren't, nor were they in the bond.
1t you will strip will give you a thorough
greasing, and double the bet if you wish. l
know can swallow you-or at all events,
can TRYw
Tom gave up the bet, and invited his friends
into the hotel.
MASTER AND SLAvE.-On the Vicksburg
and Meridian Railroad the other day, Louis
Giana planter encountered a colored man whose
face had familiar look The negro had his
attention attracted likewise, aud it was soon
ascertained that he was once owned BY the
planter.
YES, you once owned me" he remarked.
land L was no better dan boss. Now I
holds an office, and is az good as anybody"
"Do you want to do mo favor, George 2"
inquired the ex>master
al 'spects SO, sab"
"Well, in case you ever tell any ono that
you hold Office, don't let on that ever
owned you, for with this one exception, all
my niggers turned ous to be respectable pco>
The ex-slave didn'. do any more Boosting.
SAVED THE MULE.-On one of the Ans
Choir Line boats the other day was Young
man of decent look, but a great deal tho worse
for Whiskey. He persisted in singing at the
top of his voice, and it was the poorest kind
Of singing.
After brief pause he raised his hat and
said
"Now EN- going to sing something sad"
Hadn't you as soon wait until we get to
Yicksburg?" inquired passenger
"Wh-what FIR ?' gasped the young man.
because, I've got mule on the lower
deck, and if he gets an idea shat he can sing
IS good as you do he'll never be worth nicklc
to bray"
There was no more singing.
"A SOLID D1NNER.-sOme of the. New
York hotels have bills of fare with the 1y
leaf covered With cards of various business
houses. An Oregan man recently took seat
behind one of them, when waiter appeared
with "What will you have, sir ?" To the ut
ter confusion of the waiter, he leisureiy re-
marked-"You may fetch me q new set of
teeth, In gurta perca; a Florence sewing ma
chine, with patent lock stitch; box of
Brandreth's pills, and pair of No. seven
French calfskin boots" In a moment the
waiter replied I'VE do not furnish those ar
titles" Then what the devil have you got
it on the bill of fare for Z" retorted the Gus
toner.
One of the boys, just before returning
to Cornell the other day. sent young lady
friend of his cake of Lubin's finest variety
of toilet soap, with request that she would
draw no inference in receiving such gift
The next day the young man was somewhat
Hstonished when he received letter from the
young lady containing the present of fue~
tooth comb, with the request that he would
draw no inference therefrom.
The Western orator, when the spread
eagle fit is upon him, is immense. Hear a
voice from Duluth: There he sot like
stormy petrol on fence rail with his face
again the tempest, defyin' of the lightnin'