Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-05-20


loving father in Chicago, when the
clerks were all busy, tucked box IN
der his arm thinking how happy the
children would be now, was sent up
for sixty days by practical Judge who
knew nothing about croquet. Croquet
gets people into the best society. You
can hardly expect to move in the first
circles if you are ignorant Of Croquet.
We bought a set Of Messrs. Robinson
q Schultz the other day and in less than
forty minutes we had cordial invita-
ton to help shake a Brussels carpet,
and before night wealthy lady-to
be sure she had but one eye and she
had an heridatary wart on her off chin
and she was not beautiful, but she was
wealthy-inquired if we knew where
she could get a copy Of Coles Voyage
of Life and few onion sets. There
Is nothing like croquet; it is civilizer
and only a savage viii dispense with
the exquisite game. Mr.. Shultz has
an endless variety. They are put up
in long boxes which will anwer to car
ry fiddle in when croquet is s'play-
ed" He has very exquisite malIets
and such nice balls with rainbow
stripes around them, and all the para
phernalia incident to the game. We
recommend Otto's croquet sets. Buy
one for the little ones, and thereby be-
come of some account.
Another s'Side-holt' with the
Spelling .B00k.-Our people have
had it twice, which leaves them sub
ject to one more exposure. We've
been inoculaJed for it, and it is work
ing ''beautifulIy." A fourteen dollar
house at 10 cents speIlist convened
at Music Hall last Saturday evening,
the proceeds to be appropriated to the
Library, all intent upon hearing some
body else spell, we Judge, for I'D
rather be excused" was the 'opeu Sc
Sano' that seemed to entitle a hun
dred Or so to adhere to the benches
like hunks Of gum under table leaf.
There seemed to be neither head nor
front to the spell for a spell. Finally
General ?. Q. Cassidy assumed com
mand and Miss Hattie Mosher and
Miss Beach were chosen to lead the
contending forces. Of course they
were a little modest in receiving their
commission, so 2ce made a right angle
Of our other arm and Miss. NJ. swivel
ed in, as did Miss Beach into the Trj-
Juao's pied form, and we soon had ,em
in the recruiting Office, and the work
Of drafting went on. Quite a number
felt like enFsting when they realized
how glorious it would be to fight and
die if necessary under champions so
faig and beautiful we mean the girls,
Tot the editorrs-and we confess we
wanted to die on both sides. Several
thirty dag men were chosen, and they
went home lively as soon as their time
was out. We enlisted for the war, but
were discharged for Hypocrisy in the
ranks. Marie Fo2taine tried to Z
through an Embrazure, while Miss
Bottsford lost her ''e" relating an An
jcdote. Bro. Nash CRASHED his teeth
lest he should become a BacanaI and
Hanigar would have sloore it was Bias
phjmy. Clara Pierce tried to say
Frank-incense, but it was Franks
brother she was thinking Of. McCor-
mic wasn't to be EuvigIed if he could
help it. Frank Wood thought it was
Feasible to get out o. that and he
"got. " Charley Garrison had not
read the Apocrypha for quite a spell
Fannie Baker was Unaproachable be-
cause Of our Hypocrisy, and Mrs. j.
D. Witter did not believe in Reciproc-
ity, (though we believe she spelled it
oorrectlyJe j. W. Cochran. didn't
wish to be an Occupant Of that hard
bench any longer, SO stepped down
and out. Ed Lynch thought lynching
not Necessary, as he was under Apre-
hension by Mrs. Vaughn, and Miss
Mosher had looked the typography all
through for testimony sufficient to war