Smyrna times., 1875-06-02
WHOLE NO. 1919.

W I1OLE NJ. .O41
How SAM. WARD Cook, A HAu.-Mr
sun. Ward. III" laincr Of Cougro~,ionaI
lobbyists. has Let out one Of the secrets or
hI- success in his questionable profession.
hat secret is his method Of cook il,, ham
III, @"at weapon for attack upon Congress
h"-' I~a 2"'d dinu"r. and his ham, the
cr"wmin4 glory OF the feast. And hi,
j. ho" h" c""h~ il: e." soak il fu,r. day, in
""l"r. changing it four time, :; dav: then
h"iI il iiy" hour~ in cider. with u wi>p Of
h"" hay: thou haste it with brandy.
~ii"riy' or c!arct. according to the weather.
ami when thoy have tasted a lice. Of that
hln. why they would l,a-- auvliing wanted
in Congress. B,h .V..,.
I"'LEA% AND Itr,roiE ELA>rrrIrY TO AMI
'n>E EorroN~.-Tunl the chair bottom
upward. and with hot water and a ,nongc
wash Tho cane work wcl. - that it j., wcu
-"ak'i: should it br dil1y u-c soap: let il
drE IN the ;tir, and it Will Ir. a. tiglt and
ti1n a, n"". provided nom. Of the can are
broi.,n.
\ larcooion, boy wa- asked which wa,
the greater evil Of the two. hurting another,
feelings or hi, finger. H.. said TN. former.
Right. my dr,r Child" ,ajd th,. ..,itje.i
gHe~tioncr. "anl why is it worse /, hun,
III" feelings" " Ec,ul-,. You can't lio "a
raSaromnith" feeling" explained tin. dear
cLId.
H. kLrr Frr>-put fus in their box
"n'I with GOOD past, or m,cilago f:,,reu ,
-t1l' Of paper Owen. the crack left between
tine iii and box and put them in thoc,o..,
IN" fall will find them safe and fr;. from
'Il"nIlra-ant odor~ that tobacco. camrhor.
etc., aiway, leave in fur.
fl". tat"m"nt that there arc. Il, hi.
m"n,nr. upward, Of four Thousand lacau,
houses IN Brooklyn. made al q ruLl:.
meeting thor" on Monday evening /, con,
tn7nrd 10y the testimony Of the princju,I
r.I o-tar" brokers.
II'a" wa, marked change IN Nj,
b"""h"r'~ d"m"allor Yesterday. lie no
I"neo'. watched Iud4" Porter int.ntIy and
with frequent smiles q, before. but sol Lv
the iii" Of hi~ wifi. with thoughtful and
ah~trartri 'o.h,.
Augustus. dva. said >hr t.adr,h
pushing him from h.l Il, thn moonljgb,
Hooded the bay-yjndov uhcr. th,.y war,
-tan.jnI. ! ti,;nl< YOU had better trv SOM.
other hair dv": vom mou,taclo tastes IiI,.
turan,inr.
"ih"t clock. stranger. said a M.cl.ga,,
farmer. was the best kind Of a clock mn
I" ~lN months ago, when my daughter
began y have hoau-. and now The blamed
ihmg is always Two hou, slow"
"NhF. ''c"g@r. are You emokiug4" -.
'laimc'i an amazed mother. WHO came mon
her .i'tI" SON a. ho wa, putting away n =.
12ar. "N-mo. ma I'm only keeping !,
lighted for another boy.
tn" son Of a clergyman was ,olivcrjpa !,
Ole" 'airdirt"lr. when. in pulling on,
ms handkerchief. hr pulled out pack Of
ards. " Iiuil"a. r. he r>cIaincd. i've. cor
~ 'ny fathers coat =
\ country editor cannot Loa> hoId and
Independent in his paper a, hj~ city hro,b,.r
!' has To collect hi, own -uL>clirtion. and
almost everybody in the country lrrn> ,
log. hnt.D v r..
'IoIn'. John. wake up. there's 4 hrrsI,,
" IN" house. ,aid hi, wife. John >ar
UPRIGHT in h"I. '' burglar. b-u-,.gla3.--
burglar and he rolled over waiting f,,. ,
Inder word.
IH~ r"Nundrum i respectfully >ubmjttoJ
" the best >prllcr: If Sioux .ncII .u
md e-N." ~p"lI~ l. and sighed spells sid.
Why don't ,i-o-u.x .xe-y.r->.i,g.h.r.d .,.n
uicidr?
\ Brown County editor bought his ink Ly
j" jug full. because he could acti, cbc,,..,
nj his wifi" went t" till the mk,tond ON.
morning and found i, wasn't ink hy = ;u...
ull Jug
\ Missouri woman. who applied for a
i'u'u"n as car driver being asked if She
""Id manage mules. scornfully replied:
~ '"u9S" can. Nv" had two husbands.
en-" om"" alcohol; two drachm~ cav.
hh' pepper; one ounce Kerosene oil; Ir,
stand tW'nty-four hours after mixing
cures tn" worst toothache ever known.
\ man named Wie>inger ha. been
lr"Stcd al Vienna on suspicion Of ha;,,.
onc"ln"d in plot to assassinate Bisro,I'
II investigation will take place.
Inc best way to enjoy things i, to uxo