The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-06-10
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

A wise man aims at nothing out of his
reach.
- Mrs. Gubbins says her husband is like
tallow candle-he always will smoke when he
goes out.
Most people would succeed in small
things, if they were not troubled with great
ambitions.
-- The bread of life is love the salt of life
is work the sweetness of life, is poetry the
water of life is faith.
- Surely it is blessed privilege to be kiss
ed by the breeze that has kissed all the pretty
women in the world.
- A grand jury in Ohio has undertaken to
suppress church fair raffles, as we'll as other
rafies not considered fair.
- Jones didn't like to say that she had large
feet so he expressed himself to the effect that
her terminal facilities" we're unequaled
- You know yourself that there is a certain
period in every boys life when he'd rather be
the ring master in circus than President of
the United States
49, Why call him the 'groon," as eight out of
ten people do? A groom's business is to look
after horses. A bridesgroom's business is to
look after his wife's mother.
When will it all end? A man can't set
his house on fire, collect the insurance and put
on style with the money without some one is
mean enough to throw out insinuations.
! In a Minnesota storm two years ago
man named Taylor was lost. He had fifteen
hundred dollars with him at the time. His
bones were discovered the other day, and the
money was all right
There is letter held for postage in the
Lebanon (Ky) post-ofice with the following
superscrption 7lexinton, ky. betherl church
coilered in the charge of the preacher wat his
name is do not know"
"Captain," said son of Erin, as the ship
was nearing the coast in inclement weather,
shave ye an almenik on board?" "No, haven't" !"
'Then, bejabbers, we shall have to take
the weather as it comes"
A Vicksburg negro woman was told that
the price Of sea lions had risen. "De Laud
only knows what's to become of poor folsk."
she exclaimed, "when the nessumsaries OF life
am riz clean out of reach"
These are the nights for star-gazing with
your sweetheart, even if you are kept busy
brushing the dew from her lips with your mus
tache, to keep it from getting into her throat
and giving her the diptheria.
The Rochester, Minn Post gives the fol-
lowing as sign painted on fence in that
neighborhood "Kash pade for little HALVES
not mourn to daze old" That fellow never
fooled away his time loafng around spelling
schools.
| Benjamin Franklin said: "It is hard for
an empty bag to stand upright" This great
truth is robbed of its sadness when we know
that there is no necessity for bag or any thing
else to stand up when it would look better ly-
ing down.
. During trial the Judge called witness.
and solemnly said, "He is gone" "Where has
he gone ?" asked the Judge, in no tender tone.
"I don't know; but he is dead" was the guar
ded answer.
= The young man who, according to float
ing paragraph, wished to be "a friend to the
friendless, a father to the fatheress and wild
ow to the widovless," has finally settled down
as plain drugstore clerk to the cltrate-ot-
magnesiaess.
= If you love others, they will love you.
If you speak kindly to them, they will speak
kindly to you. Love is repaid with love and
hatred with hatred. Would you hear sweet
and pleasing echo speak sweetly and pleas
antly yourself: -.
A Methodist church in Maine has hit on
a new plan of taking up collections. The box
es are passed by the best looking young woman
in the congregation, and with no difficulty in
getting passers there is also a great increase
in receipts. Fact
John Cuthbert, who was born at Savan-
nah, Ga, in 1888, was elected to Congress in
1917, and participated in the great debate on
the Missouri compromise, is still practicing
law at Mobile, and is said to be the oldest ex"
member Of Congress living.
A lady who had been teaching her little
four-year-old the elements of arithmetic was
astounded by his running and propounding the
following problem: Mamma, if you had
three butterflies, and each butterfly had bug
in his ear, how many butterflies would you
have?" The mother is still at work on the
problem.
= The Baptist denomination throughout the
United States has gained in the year 1874 So
associations 900 churches, 756 ordained minis
ters and 127 ,632 members making the present
grand totals 943 associations, 21,5lO churches
with sittings for 100000 persons), 13, S54 or.
dained ministers, and 1,76l,l71 church mem.
bers, of whom l02, 1876 were received by bap,
tism the past year.