Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-04-03
Fifty.Five Dozen Clothes Pins.
A wARING TO LAZY HUSBANDS.

Ladies who have husbands who are
neglectful in supplying them with kind
lings should carefully study the exper-
ienee of Division street sister. All
her married life she had an unbroken
struggle with her husband to keep her
self supplied with wood, and the greater
part of the time she had been obliged
to depend upon her own deftness with
the axe, and any one who has seen I
woman handle an axe knows what q
dreadful thing it is. Two months ago
she begged of him not TO goaway with
ost leaving her some kindlings. He
said he wouldn't. But he finally did
Then she bit upon plan. She had
four dozen clothes pins. She took one
dozen of them for starting the fire, and
found that they worked admirably. The
next day she used another dozen, and so
she continued until the four dozen were
gone. Then she went TO the store and
purchased ano;.e,stoyV dozen, having
them "put in the ~bilT. When they
were gone she repeated the errand. She
said no more TO him about kindlings
For ten years she had kept up the battle
and low she was tired and sick at
heart. He could 90 his own way and
she would 90 patiently, uncom-
plainingly-until the end would come.
On Monday be signitied at the store
that he would like to settle his account
rTbo In u,o, ,,,oJo ont on1 bonIn1 him,
lie glanced down the items. As he adj
vanced along the column his face began
to work. First his eyes slowly enlarged,
then his mouth gradually opened, cased
by the dropping Of his lower jaw; and
wrinkles formed on his forehead. One
third down the column he formed lis
lips as if to whistle. -Four lines below
he did whistle. Half way down he
said:
ezra cious!'
A little further on he said:
"Thunder!'
-Four more lines were taken in, and
he spoke again:
"By the Jumping Jupiter!'
Then he read on, shifting his thigh
vigorously, and giving vent to various
expressions of the liveliest nature.
Finally he threw the bill down.
II say, Benson, look here; this bill
can't be mine; you've got me mixed mp
with some laundry"
That's your bill, sir" said the gro
Ger, smiling pleasantly.
Il tell you it cant be- persisted the
Division street man, beginning to look
scared. "Why, here's fiftytive dozen
clothes pins i'll two months bill.
What on earth DO you take Inc fora
four story laundry 2
'But it is your bill. Your wife can
explain il to YOU She ordered the
pins"
"My wite!" gasped the unfortunate
man.
ayes, sir
The debtor clutched the bill, .jammed
it into his pocket, and hurried straight
home. lie bolted into the house with
out any abatement of speed, and fling
ing the paper on tie table before his
wife, knocked his hat on the back Of
his head, and said:
"Martha Ann Johnson, what does
this mean? There are ffty-iive dozen
clothes pins in Bensons bill for the
past two months, and he said you Or
dered every blessed one of them.
"And so | did" said she, demurely.
"W-h-at! Fitty-fye dozen clothes
pins in two months" and he shot
down in a chair as if freight car had
fallen atop of him. ''Fifty-tive dozen
clothes pins in two months, he howled.
"Will just heaven stand that?"
81 tell you, you needn't stare at
me that way, Reuben Wheeler John
son, nor go to calling unto heaven with
your impiousness. l ordered them
clothes pins myself, and | burnt every
one OF EN- in that there stove, just be-
cause you were too ALFRED lazy to get
stick of wood. And | declare, before
III be bothered jawing aud fighting to
get you TO cut wood, I'll burn up every
clothes pin in the land, and you shall
pay for them, if you have to sell the
shirt on your back to do it. So now p"
And Mrs. Johnson, with face like
scarlet, snatched up the broom, and
went to sweeping the csrpet as if every
flake Of dust was a red-bot coal, while
the unhappy Mr. Johnson fastened to
the store, and paid the bill. And be-
fore dark that night he had half cord
of wood sawed, split and piled up ready
for use.
The SOCIAL SIDE or TIE QUESTION.
Speaking of the probility Of Pinch
back and his wife entering the sacred
arena of Washington society, a cores
pondent of the Radical Troy Times
savs. UAra 1ye 60 mean md Dusillani-