The Portland daily press., 1875-09-21
Nasty.
The Progress of Imitation at the Corners
The Trouble that MIR. Perkins Started
The Present Status of the Great Iden in
,h Place Where it is Being Tested.

" AAILNAONAi3 NOptCl1D0l IL 1OSC.-I uoN LIEU
trouble enough with the unenlitened people. Nv
these Corners, for the past week, to neerly
drive me mad. Indeed, shood hev bin in a
loonatic asylum ere this, he'd not bin sus.
tanned and soothed by an Unlimited faith in
the correctnis Nv the doctrines NV the Ohio
Democrisy, ez regards money. And feelin
that was assistin, in my humble way, in put
tin them doctrines into practice, 1 determined
not to go mad, but to persevere even unto the
end.
But the perverse people are doin ther level
best to drive me crazy, and am not shoor
that they won't succeed. thought pare Nv
horses Nv one NV EN- for $4,000, and paid him
in our own money. He thot he'd rather not
tech it.
''When will this be redeemed?" he askt,
innocently.
"Apy time you want it," replied
SIN wat?' he retorted.
SIN other notes onto the same bank" seq T.
"And how will 700 redeem them notes?"
SEE he.
sTn Jest the same way seq 1.
seThen all Their is Nv it." seq he, 'yoo go on
takin up one note by giyin another, and all Nv
EN- without interest nor nothin.'
sThats it eggsaekly,' sed 1. "Yoo see
can't 700, or are 700 an ijeat? that money
means faith? Now eff the proud fnanshel in
stooshin in which am the he'd, ishoos its note,
700 must have faith that it will pay, and so
long ez 700 have that faith and everybody else
hez that faith, so that they take it for money,
700 never want the money on it. So long ez
money is taken, you don't want it redeemed,
made good by faith-and ez long ez it is sus-
tanned by faith it will go. When the notes 700
hev now wear out, come to us and we will re-
deem EN- with new ones. But every body must
hev faith. Can't 700 see it? Everybody must
hev faith. Faith ia the ishoos NV this bank Nv
ourn is necessary to its success and stability.
Faith in our money is, ez it is in religion, the
substance of things hoped for, and the evidence
nv things not seen, only more so. Wait till l
get $4,000 from the printin offs, and take en-
for poor horses, and go yoor way. Hev faith.
Perkins, that wuz the farmers name, took
the money and went his way, ponderin ez he
went. He walked down to Bascom's with
deep lines Nv thot onto his face, which resolved
itself into expreshun Nv stern determinashen
ez he entered the door.
'Kin 700 sell me bari Nv whisky to-day
a entire barl?" sed he.
''Certinly,'' sed G. W., smilingly, 'certinly,
Mr. Perkins. It's only worth $40 gallon, or
81, $3.50 per bari this mornin."
'All rite,"' wuz G. WIS response. "Pd ez
soon sell bari to wanst ez by the single
drink"
So G. w, and his wife and his eldest son,
Jefferson Davis, rolled bari up, into Per
kinses wagon, and Perkins remarkt that he
wanted to pay for that likker on the spot.
Bascom smiled pleasantly. There wuz nothln
SO, pleasant, Perkins continyood. ez payin for
things wen 700 get EN-, ez it saved bookkeepin
and vexashus troubles Nv all kinds.
"Give me pen, ink and paper, G. w." sed
this outrageous Perkins.
Nonplushed, Bascom did SO mechanically,
and Perkins ran his tongue out, ez people do
in the Corners when they attempt writin; and
SWEET rolin from his brow fearful, he handed
Bascom the follerin dokeyment.
'sCoNFEDRIT x ROADS, September /, 1875.
-Ipromis to pay G. w. Bascom sixteen hun
bred and eighty dollars.
"Was ths?" askt the astonlshed Bascom,
with an exppreshun NV intense disgust usurpn
the phase Nv the smile.
'Pay for that likker,' replied Perkins, calm
ez Joon mornin.
"But this Amt pay til yoor promis to pay,
and VOC amt got time nor phase fixed for pay
ment-yoo amt got no interest exprest, nor
nothin. Wen do 700 mean 10 pay it?'
'Never G. W., never. Under the moo dis
pensashun promises to pay is money. All yoo
want is faith. So long ez 700 bleeve that that
paper.iz money wat do 700 want NV money?
With faith enough that paper is money. 1 hev
been fggern this matter out iu nv intellek
ever sence hev bee takin yoor bank money
It's all the same. Eff hev saith in yoor money
you must hev faith in mine. When this note
wears out come to me and 1 will write 700
moo one. And don't keep it too 1ong-I shell
take pleasure in writin 700 a notes often, so
that they will alluZ he new and pleasant to look
at How pleasant it is. Bascom, to pay ez 700
go! How much better feel to pay OH the nale
and how much better 700 must feel to hev yoor
cash when 700 deliver yoor goods"
And Perkins drove off with the likker, lite
harted, lcavin Bascom dumfounded in the
door Nv the grosery, gaspin with establishment
and blind with rage.
Perkins didn't stop with tbarl Nv likker.
He bot pare Nv pegged boots for $50, and
pade for them in the same way, and gag NV
males, and two scots Nv cloze, and kalco
dresses for his wife and daWters, and box Nv
paper collars and a neck-tie things he he'd new
er dreamed NV hevin before, and he got so
eggsited at his success in finanseerin that he
went home drunk ez billed OWL
But the misery Nv all is, evere cuss within
five miles, sein Perkinses success is doin the
same thing, and an immense yolyoom NV wat
1 may call indivijjile currency is af1oat. And
they are seriously threatenin to vote to have
the c0rprashen take the stuff for taxes The
iqee Nv takin money for taxes that amt print
ed, and thet amt got no President and Cashier
and Board Nv direkters there IL SIGH a thing
ez carryin this this thing too fur.
But prosperity codtinoos her stimnlatin rain.
We ishood thirty thousand dollars nv or mon
ey last week, and the benefishal effeck is WIS.,
ible Wheat is now $12 bushel, likker ST.
plain drink, $150 to them ez take sugar in
theirn; begged boots is $50. cotton sox 81, and
town lots0wel, any price one chooses to ask
for EN-. The diggin NV cellars is goin on salts
factorily, ez is anything else that we kin pay
for in our own money. But tremble with
apprehenshuns. Wat will happen when they
come to want lumber and males and glass, and
other things witch hev TO come from LOUISVILLE?
That's the ghost that hants me.
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
fresdentuv the Unlimited Trust and Coafi-
dence Company.
T. s.-The most wonderful effect Nv infash-
en- en- "uz showd this morning on Deekin Pogram.
Inc olo saiLt made his appearance at the Bank
IN a moo SCOT NV cloze witch Mirandy. his daw-
ter, got for him. The old man tried TO keen nm
under it, FINELY broke down. He refoozed tp
stay in his sect unless we'd take off The coat
pull off his boots, and them ID stncL;ms';
ez he expressed it, and drip some tobacker iooso
over his buzm. He swore that he rather rs eoe
his posishen that to wear boots and stoclxins ;n
the summer time. and ez for paper collars he'd
wearfnone nv EN-. He would hav gone insane Of
we hadn't stript hin and got him back to his
normel style. Wat difference there is IN
men! Now took to stockins when got to be
President Nv this Bank ez naturally ez tho /
had alluz wore EN-. But Ihave moved in bet.
ter society than the Deekin hez. He is trooly
child nv Nacher, P.VN