The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1875-05-08
Subscribers out of County, $1,aO.i
ParagrapIAlc.

In the papers are calculated to do more
harm than good Mrs. Hopson's SER
vant-girl recently read in thepapcr that
''potatoes should be of uniform size to
cook evenly" 1t was more than two
days before she found the meaning OF
"uniform," and then she went to work
on half q bushel of potatoes. As she
couldn't make the smallest the size of
the largest, she pared down the large
ones until they were as small as the
smallest, and as the latter was about
the size of a walnut, she had weak lot
of potatoes by the time she had made
them of uniform size, and quart
measure would have held them all.
The potatoes were "short' for dinner
that day, and as an explanation and
some very sharp words followed. Mrs.
Hopson's servant-giri now cooks pota'
toes of all sizes in one pot. a.
"How would you feel, my dear,if we
were to meet wolff" asked an old
lady of her little grandchild, with whom
she was walking along lonely country
road. "Oh, graDdmamma, should be
SO frightenedr' was the reply. "But l
should stand in front Of you and protect
you," said the old lady. "Would you,
grannie?" cried the child, clapping her
hands with delight. "That would be
nice! While the wolf was eating you l
would haye time to run away"
AT last here is new fancy in the
prestldigitation line. He borrowed a
bonnet from lady in the audience, and
as he was about to return 1t, 1t caught
fire in the gas, and he had to stamp on
it with both feet to extinguish the
fame. Misery of the lady! 1t was her
best bonnet. Then he fred pistol,
and bonnet just like 1t fell from the
chandelier in the middle Of the theatre.
The Detroit Free Press says COM
templated change of Postmaster at De"
troit made stamps no cheaper than be-
fore. The Detroit Tribune. however,
says: "The fact that you can now buy
two stamps for five cents at the Detroit
Post Office is sufficient to refute this
SANDER One of the stamps, by the
way, must be two.cent stamp"
This conupdrum is respectfully sub>
mitted to the best speller If S-i,o u.x
spells su, and eye spells !, and s-ig-h-
ed spells side, why dosen't s-i-o-u-x-
e-y-e-s-ig-h-e-d spell suicide? ,.f.
The Wiliamsport, Pa, Gazette says
tho lumber shipments from that point
for 1879 amount to 22,04l $50 feet, be.
ing falling off as compared with the
same time last year of 20, 400, 140 feet.
The annual session of the Grand
Lodge of |. o. o. f., of Pennsylvania,
will be held at the Opera House, Will
Transport, on Tuesday, May 18th, at .
O'Clock a. M. The Grand Eneampment
will meet at the Han Of Lycoming
Lodge, No. 1l2, at Williamsport, on
Monday, l7th. q. 0 O'Clock s.1m. i,4laI
TRY 1T ON--This Is how Mary Kyle
Dallas says it feels p" Take man and
PIN three or four large table cloths
about him, fastened back with elastic
and looped up with ribbons drag all
his own hair to the middle of his head
and tie it tight, and hair pin on about
FIVE pounds of other hair and big bow
of ribbon. Keep the front locks on pins
all night and let them tickle his eyes all
day; ;pinch his waist into corset, and
give him gloves a. size to small, and
shoes ditto, and u hat that will not stay
on without torturing elastic, and q
frill to tickle his chin and a little lace
veil to blind his eyes whenever he goes
out to walk, and he will know what
wOman's dress is My
At spelling match in Canadi. N.
H., few evenings ago, Deacon Ezekiel
Lane, So years old, spelled down all the
young folks and took the FIRST prize.
New Hampshire girls always read
the " weather probabilities 4" first to see
how the weather will be the coming Sun
day night, and they carry in wood ae-
cordingy.
Unless a Milwaukee girl can take a
brick in each hand and make eight feet
and four inches at standing jump, she
rarely gets admitted into the best So
ciety.
Senator Andrew johnson will bring
suit against the New Orleans Times
for libel in asserting that he made use
OF money to secure his election 10 the
United States Senate. H
Abuv all thing, lern yure child to be
honest and industrlousi II these two
things don't enable him TO make ilg-
oar in thia world ha q oniv n n,,nha-