The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-06-04
MARRIED UNDER DIFFICULTIES.
BY GARRY MOSS,

MARRIED UNDkR DIFFICULTIES.
BY GARRY MOSS.
eyes, Tom, you heard the rights of
the story some one did cry out, I for
bid the bans 7
"That was nice fix to be in, can
tell you, at that late hour. Bessy and
in church, with Miss Spicer, the old
| generals daughter, for bridesmaid, and
John Charles, particularly nobby fell
! low, who stood up as best man. There
was Bessy, as pretty as a picture. dress
ed in as handsome a bridal outfit as ever
you saw-white satin and lace and flow
ers and veil. I'm not much at descrip-
tion about woman's rig, but VOW and
declare, though I've seen many of 'em
since, I've never come a cross bride as
ALFRED pretty as she was, and never
shall.
"I didn't want to be married in
church-it looked sort of conspicuous
but Bessy wouldn't be married any 9th
er way, and wanted Bessy.
"Well, the minister, a very tall,
grave-Iooking man, standing on the
other side of the rail, had just begun
the service, and says he, If any man
has any reasons whY,' and SO forth
you know what it is let him now
speak, or forever after hold his tongue,
when up jumps somebody in the back of
the house and cries out:
"'I forbid the bansp
"Well, that was a pretty kettle of
fish to begin with. I felt Be ssy trem
BILE, and | grew hot all over. If the old
man, her father, queer old codger, had
taken it into his head that Bessy was
too good for me-and, indeed, don't
deny she was-I was done for. But
then that couldn't be. The minister he
turned red, and the people who had
come to see were in state of restless
ness, you may be sure.
GO For what reason do you forbid the
bans 2? asked he of the white gown.
All this passed much quicker than can
write it.
Because she is already nv wife
"Says I, That's lie 7 and her father
repeated it with an amendment which
was not exactly appropriate to the
place-and in a moment there was a
pretty how dye do. l had made my
way to the back of the church, and if /
had laid hands on that fellow he'd never
seen the outside of his skin again. I'd
have torn him in pieces. But there was
a crowd; some pointed out one and
some another and one man gravely
told me the villain had gone home to
get the proofs. Then Bessy frightened
out of her wits on missing me, screamed
and tainted away, and of course the
minister couldn't have gone on anyhow.
Bessy's mother began scolding me, and
Bessy's father ripped round there all
but swearing in the very face of the
parson, till I surely thought the last
day had come and we had all gone crazy
together. So we had to go back, every
body mad, Bessy in Mysteries, and the
old folks storming at her, at me, and
each other. Upon my word, Tom, you'd
have pitied me or any other man, for
what was l to do? A slur had been
cast upon Bessy, poor innocent child,
and even |, who had been her low less
than six months, didn't know what to
think of the statement so boldly made
before all Israel and the sun.
"Well, of course it got into the
papers, and all manner of comments
were made, which nearly drove me dis
tracted. What to do we didn't know.
Bessy's aunt, regular old Tabby, de-
cIared it was the worst of bad luck to
have marriage put off, and abused me
like pickpocket. The wedding break
fast stayed for two days untasted, while
Bessy's father and myself went tearing
round the city to find the man who had
set all this trouble going it was like
hunting for a needle in hayrick.
meantime poor little Bessy was
Sobx I
there every day to inquire about her
and muse upon the uncertainty of mum
dane affairs generally, when one morn
ing the door was opsned before l had
reached the top step, a big, red hand
pulled me inside, and the whole house
hold began an Indian dance, including
everything but scalps and the war
whOop.
"'Bulger, my glorious fellow, we're
all right 7 shouted the old gentleman,
giving me such a slap between the
shoulders that lost my breath.
"' My dear boy, our sorrows are at
an end, sniffied the almost mother-in'
law.
"'I hope it won't be put off again,
for then we should have funeral, re-
marked the Tabby aunt, looking at me
from under her spectacles with her
usual severity of expression.
"' What you haven't found -
cried ], utterly unable TO finish from
sheer bewilderment.
"'Yes, we've found him = said the
paternal.
"'The poor, miserable wretchr eiac-
ulated the maternal.
"'Ought to be roasted alive, NUT |
tered Tabby, glaring at me.
"' 10, cried weak voice at the head
of the stairs come up here.
"You may guess how those stairs |
disappeared from under my feet. Poor |
Bessy, pale little thing, fell into my |
arms without any fuss, and cried-and |
cried-and cried. Then, after all this |
C c)mmotion was overland 1t didn't kill |
me-my beaming father-in-law that
should have been at that time, handed |
me a paper, with the brief remark,
read = And this is what [ read : |
ga lunatic from g., in the county |
of NJ -, has been at large for a |
month, but was last night tracked to
his hiding. place in this city, and taken |
back to the asylum. 1t seems, from
the accounts we can gather, that he has |
been leading an eventful life since his |
escape, having personated, successfully, |
a member of congress, the governor of
a state, and bank president. He is
evidently a genius, and is highly de-
lighted with his tour. One exploit of |
which he boasts-for singularly enough |
he remembers his pranks-was that of
spelling a wedding. The circumstance
will be remembered, and we are most |
happy to make matters smooth again
for ouc esteemed fellow. citizens, J. B |
G. l., also the charming |
bride, whose maiden meditatioOs we're !
so luthlessly and painfully broken in
upon. We congratulate them as hearth
ly as if the wedding were consummated, !