The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1875-10-01
FEMENNuEs

SWELL, how did you like the SER
mon. my dear 2" ''Oh, perfectly
splendid! Such loves of bonnetsw
And now since the successful re-
moval of lady's jaw, q large mum.
Der of married men are making ap- !
plieation for q similar relief.
POttsville, Pa, has something for |
the Centennial in the shape of Jane
buhler, aged l15 years. Match her
II you CAIN. y. Commercial.
There are several roads to the di-
yorce courts but there is none more
travelled than the one via the fash
ionable bonnet making establish
ment.
An exchange thinks that the first
step toward wealth is the choice of
good wife. That's so. When q
man marries fair young wife, his
fortunes mald.
The new dagger-fan for ladies is
truly valuable invention. The
wearer can fan herself with the dag
ger, and when a man insults or as
ssults her can close the fan and drive
it TO his heart.
An aWfully iDpertinent French
man writes to q Paris paper about
the women in England who, since
the Baker case, are inclined to carry
lponiards. He says the most of them
arc better defended by their faces.
There comes q report from q wo-
man in New York of q woman who
shed tears over the perusal of the
city directory. She Weeps because
it refers to a number of men, alas
who have never been in love with
her.
The origin of the pin-back dress
was with q dressy Irish widow,
who turned hand to almost any
thing, and rather than change her
dress for bit of q turn at the wash
tub, she just pinned it back. A
fashion monger happened in, and
admiring her admirable shape, at
once adopted it.
Miss Ada Luck, of Carthage, O.,
won a cook stove at the Cincinnati
fair as F'the best and most expedi-
tious cook" In thirty minutes she
cooked, and cooked we'll, potatoes,
chicken, porter house steak, toma.
toes aud corn, and made coffee, tea,
pie and biscuit, and set the table in
the neatcst style.
The youthful American female
missionary ia always an enthusiast.
In making preparations for her de-
partnre she often INDUCES in such
memoranda as this, on the f1y-leaf
OF her new testament: Take half
| q I'll aRiF nj
four additional hair braids. and as
many extra bustles as possible"
A convention of husbands is soon
to meet at Cincinnati to devise
means of protection against the kiss
ing clergyman. A correspondent
suggests that they be compelled to
eat raw onions at every meal, and
in lieu of the customary white
chOker, revive the ElizabethaD ruff,
to be not less than three feet in di-
ameter and starched to rigidity OF
cast-iron.
The other day a Detroit husband
reading in a newspaper that the
premonitOry SYMPTOMS of insanity OF
insanity were wild look, flushed
: face, thick speech, and so forth, and
r he handed it to his wife and remark
ed: "Mary, if | ever come home
| looking that way, you'll know what
! it means, and you'll know what to
, do" "Yes, darling" she softly re.
| piled as she laid the paper down,
I'll have an emetic and club wait
: ing for YOU"
The Hon. Schuyler Colfax. in IL.
: Illustrating his observations that wo
5 men can keep a secret, tells how OF
the 5000 women who have been
: admitted to the order of the Daugh-
tiers of Rebecca, not one has told
D outsiders anything about it. Sorry
2 to throw cold water on our good
friend COlfax's statement, but there
Is nothing secret about that order
except the password, which IL
D changed so often that it is not worth
while giving it away.
:. The New York Graphic says
e ''The Quaker City fashionables al
I Cape May are very much excited
!. over an eiopement which has Just
, occurred. One of their number, q
! handsome and well-known married
> lady, has seen fit to run away with
a an Austrian officer, said to be Of
noble birth, but known to be poor
8 The affair has given rise to tOurn.
: ament of tongues, which, they say
\ can be heard above the roar of the
. hFeAkera IN the aQnd -