The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1875-09-02

Virgins and pressed almost to the last breatb
when suddenly he was seen to emerge fr,m,
beneath huge pile of shawls cloaks c,'i
apes, leaying behind him the IMPRINT ~ !'o
chestnut burr on the beautiful hand or F;,
lbeth, daughter of Samuel.
And it came to pass, that in the procos,
Df time, after the end Of three horrs ~,
Hesslan, Dutchnan and Gadite, fell out I,
the way, by reason of hunger. into c,.9
field, and Dlucked the cars of corn. and cona co,n
of them to all the people. And then H.,
began to shout and sing on account of tbo;,
great gift Of fruit, while Keller, the GaL;ta
worked out his Omnibus Bill. At the onJ
of the fourth hour these congregations dcS
cended from their chaliots and pitched tbe;,
tents in the east Of the wilderness Al
they were glad and merry in heart. anJ
brought their coffee pots, flesh hooks ana
tougs made of cedar. Then the jolly IIessiar"
stirreth the flames and parcheth the Cor,
and Hester steweth the coffee and Mary orl
Of the five virgins, queen of the Tanitos
spreadcth the tables, and the ancient Dntob
man muddleth his brains over a horse lcatin,,
oats out of sack becoming a uail orent9
while the Gadite forgeteth his Omnibus E;II
and rendcreth service in preparing the tabIns
Then good old Amazariah raised his st.F
and commanded the multitude to sit down
to the feast And now Mary Lidia scal6atL
Andre, the poor Gabite with hot coffee. and
a corn cob greatly disturbed Hester and tLa
Hessian under a tree. And great was tIo
hustle in the devastation Of tables. LARGO
and small were filed, and there were taken
up of fragments, several baskets full.
CHAPTER III.
And now when the young men and women
! y, II
gathered them together and passed thron~b
the brambless and scrub oaks on their way to
the Falls And when they came within tbo
sound of the cataract, they saw the camn "df of
the enemy pitched across their way. Thrn
the valiant men were set in battle array and
as good old Amazariah raised his staff tbr
host moved up the Hill Of evil counsel 70
attack the castle Of the impostcr Wicks
But Wicks had fled long before, leaving his
impudent agent to dispute the way. And
there at the entrance Of the way to the raDjds
Gagged in rails OF cedar, sat this evil agent
with satanic grin stretched across his urlv
face from North to South Then the flnnv
Dutchman bade all to look upon this animal
free of charge And they obcyed and wer.
amused at the sight and wondered If he
belonged to the brute creation.
And it came to pass, that after Il short
party with this strange being, the tribes. as
they were numbered, passed In through the
gate and went down and stood oa die pre-
cipice overhanging the cataract, while Keller
the Gabite tackled another addition to his
Omnibus Bill. And now upon beholding the
grandeur and beauty Of the scene, all hearts
were stirred with feelings, sublime, to which
the tongue was unable to give expression
1t has not been written, neither does it come
within the province Of these chronicles to de-
secribe the grandeur and beauty OF Bushhiil
Falls. To him who will 90 see them him
SELF there Is, for his trouble, sufficient re-
ward.
And it came to pass, after the virgins had
been meandering along the stream for q time
and the delicate fabrics Of some Of the
maidens were made ijmsy by falling spray.
that good old Amazariah raised his statFani
commanded the tribes to return TO their
tents. And they obcyed.
CHAPTER ".
And it came to pass, after all partook
freely Of coffee with milk stripped from
stray COW by fair hand, at the setting Of
the sun this joyful company began their
journey home. And as they came out on
the highway there were joyful songs Mingled
with the rattling Of dishes and banging Of
pals. Suddenly the ponderous wheels Of
the Roanoke crushed the Dutchmau's over
coat. And thus, on occunt Of this he giyeth
vent to his pent up wrath. And dot mule
triver vat don't understood his pishncss very
much, he run over nit mine pIOWn oycrcoaC
over, and sprOotted dem all over mt mud
over. And | told you shcntlemcns and Ia
dies 1t was sphOlicd very much pad and you
tlnks vat an elephant hat SthGppcd on dot
NIT his feet nil over down And Is | yus
awful mat NIT temper. / ust st0oVped lee
tie vonce NIT mine grand muddcr youco vat
vore specks and dot good olt woman vat give
dem brote too and other indelivacics Of dc
season, vuS very much glad to Sit dol too,
tolt you, and then she covers me all over Init
flowers, but | vus not dead, understood me.
Now dem awful nice flowers vus for mine
sun-shade hot. Now ladies and sheutemans
before | sthop on dem remarks, | tolt you
dot dis Deitcher man on top of dot Omnibus
car, ware we stop to Places, got some cigars,
vus eaten brotc all over NIT face his NIT Il
sphoon. Dat vas funny sight too | told
you too. You tinks vat you see him dot |
vus United States Mail triver; for | hat
dem mail bags all over nit mine head over.
Dot ish all. Good bye"
And darkness overlook them and then the
young men taught the young the rules OF
punctuation. Charles the Iauite, and the
youthful Oscar showed the application of the
parenthcsis, and Andre the Gadjte owing to
the stiffness of his joints failed in the curves
of the parenthesis and struck an altitude like
unto n brackets.
The good old Amazariah and the rcrsecu-
ted Samaritan, with fear and trembling got
no further than the interrogation paiut.-
The HesSian struck a dash for Clara, Leeds,
and Collins six foot loug.
And, finally, they reached the home of
their fathers in due season rejoicing in the
good time they had And they all slumbcr-
eth sweetly save the Gabite, who dreameth
all night long of his enormous Omnibus
Bill. GIDEON.
a Vermont man startled the congrcga-
ton at church, one Sunday, recently, by
shouting out in nap POTATOES, two dol
lnrS ,,o,- I,,sI Il