The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1875-05-17

The shootists have bad luck, They
were to have had pic mic at their grounds
on Sunday the 9th, but the heavy rain pre-
vented. Last Sunday they intended re-
newai, but forgot to advertise it-and so
they had only common shooting,
An economical tourist had written
pamphlet on, Where to 60 when you
haven't got much money" 1t will be read
with interest, for we don't know of any
good place to go to, In this world. under
such circumstances.
"A shoemaker was taken up for bigamy
and brought before the sitting magistrate.
(Which wife, asked "a bystander, will he
be obliged to take?" Brown, always ready
with a joke, replied. Hes cobbler, and,
of course, must stick to his last"
Since that hideous inscription was sug-
gested for Poe's monument, no true Balti-
morean ever takes drink without after
wards placing his hands upon his stomach
and murmuring softly: MY santalized
spirit here blandly reposes."
The pressman at the Union Office tried
an experiment with benzine and rags, to-
day, to clear out the boiler hues. The boy
who, by orders, fred the concern will not
lose his eyesight or be much disGgured.
The beauty of the pressman's beard is some
what furnished.
Now, young people" said a professor
OF natural history to his class, now then
as to hens. A hen has the capacity Of
laying just six hundred eggs, and no more
and she finishes the job in just about five
years. Now, what is to be done with hel
after that?" Cut off her head and sell hel
for spring chicken !''exclaimed an urchir
whose father dealt in poultry.
Possibly Bristow's chances for bein,
the next President would be quite as goot
If he didn't have a Gen" before hi
name. 1t is believed that respectabl
percentage of the voters are more or les
, strongly inclined to civilian, for change
next year. And they ere not all 'ex- Rebels
or "Copperheads, either.-Springfel
Mass. )Republica,.(L Ind
Tonight the ladies and gentlemen c
st. Mary (Catholicl church are going t
give a grand concert and ball in Dart
: Hall, the proceeds of which are to go fo
the benefit of the new school at the churcl
The price of tickets will be fifty cents
supper extra. The occasion is sure to
!. one Of hearty enjoyment and the result
j. will no doubt be very satisfactory to til
iobject in view.
e The other day Moline woman
d wanting some lead to stop a hole in
wash boiler, set a copper revolver cartride
e on the stove to melt the bullet She say
Il she was just STOPPING over it to see if
n had melted when the earthquake cam
along. Her only consolation is tina
!. when she grows old and has to wea
! spectacles she will only need pair with OF
d glass in them, as one of her eyes wei
!. away with the earthquake to look for tt
e tansit.
Your young friend stayed uneon
e monty late last night. was quite incline
J. to come into the parlor and dismiss him,
v said an indulgent father to his pet of l
a On ! yes, it was pretty late; but we 2
II so interested in discussing Ritualism tn
we did not notice the feeting hours, papa
20 Discussing Ritualismr' sternly querit
n the father, and then he walked slowly aw;
Is with his hands under his coat skirts, tryir
!, to remember what they called it when
II was young.
"A fire occurred on Sunday afternoo
10 at Sjoblads saloon, Market Square, viii,
o. bid fair, at one time, to make trouble.
~ Swede woman and her little girl, Just a
- rived from the old country, were on Il
~ second story back lattice porch, the W
~ man was opening her trunks and loo
i. ing over the contents, and the little 81
. was playing, near by, where was qui
pile of straw. 1t is probable that IL
r little girl had some matches, or stepped
th one, for all at once the straw was 10 blaz
It. The alarm brought people who, with buc
lg cts of water, soon extinguished what
It fair to be dangerous fire. Mr.. Siobl,
22n was absent at the time. The damage W
," slight.