Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1875-03-11
UsHERED INTO SOCIETY

tional capital, on the Sunday previous
20 New Years day, when q lady with
whom | was slightly acquainted spoke
20 me. / bowed as politely as | knew
how in return, and she remarked, II will
bepleased TO have you call on New Years
dav."
know this lady made some preten--
siOns TO fashion; | knew her husband
had collected several bogus claims from
the general governments; L knew they
must move in social sphere far above
the circle Of my humble acquaintances.
had seen her husband in company with
back pay members. Mobilicr operators,
contractors, and Others, constituting the
most ariStocratic society OF Washington.
To make New Years call at this
ady's house was among the thousands
Of things which l might have done on
that dav-the verv thing. above all
others. which should have left undOne.
But alas for human fTailIy, l decided To
call.
That was busy week with me, from
Sunday TO Thurslav. | had 10 GET my
old black coat cleaned; my hat ironed;
nv boots mcndcd. had TO borrow an
ONtINOAt dllA NNN u ANW SUM-.
Ii was near two o'clock on the event
FOL day before | had completed my toilet;
and IS Is usually the case, my anticipa-
tions in regard to my outfit were not real.
ised. The friend who Was to lend Inc his
OvercOat did not come 10 time, and con-
seOuently On OvercOat did not form any
portion Of my attire; but the day was
not very cold, and / INDUCED in the
consolinC deuSion that the ariSt0Cracy
would infer that ! had any number oi
overcoats at home.
The great fight was in getting on the
gloves am not member. / lam not
an officeholder. am newer Of wood
and drawer OF water. l am one OF
those whom fate cOmpelS 10 contribute
n life Of toll 10 the comfort and luxury
Of others; we make many wealthy, bat
our own allowance Is Just sufficient 20
enable us 20 continue our work. NV
hands are large, strong, and rough /
bought the largest pair Of gloves in the
store, and the f!end who sold them TO
Inc assured me they were plenty large
After much exerIion and some profanity
! succeeded in getting them on, but not
until had torn a large hole in each
glove; the edges OF thrSc holes spread
open like the swollen lips Of an inciSed
wound. while nv red hand prouuded
from the rent like proud flesh Ny
fingers in these gloves looked like links
Of sauSageS; / could not close my hand
4 friend remarked as / was leaving ny
boarding house that | would make = good
sign for a second hand clothing store
That friend still carries his nose in 8
sling.
When I reached the house was rcn-
6eTed little nervous by observing sew.
eral carriages AZ the door with livrried
teamsterS on the seats. A COlOred man
answered my pull AZ the bell knob. After
hunting through every poke, succeed
ed in finding piece of paper on which
/ had written my name the servant re
ceived il on q waiter, and followed him
into the hall
Now Iexpected this card OF mine
would at least announce me-wOuld in
form the lady of the house that had &C
cepted her invitation. Imagine nv dis
gust when | saw the servant throw il on
the hat rack and walk of, leaving me to
my tate Upon turning round l found |
was standing in the parlor door in full
view Of the COMPANY felt confused. |
tried 20 scratch nv head, but could not
bend my fingers. Ibid not know what TO
90. ! saw several heaps Of thin white
material with quantity OF gaudy rib
hons scattered throughout the mass
These objects took 10 be ladies; and |
was right. In the meantime was block
ing up the doorway people could ueith-
er get IN or out, and a movement must
make in some direction. I stepped for
ward into the room for the purpose Of
paying my obcisance TO the ladies, which
thought would be q very polite thing
IplaCed my still hand on nv shirt bosom
and bowed My shirt cracked like a piece
OF frozen Oil-ClOth. When / came TO an
erect position found the lady had left
me and was cackling TO some spruce
young rooster in the corner.
l approached tie second lady she
commenced flaming with great violence,
and said something about low people 10
man in white Kids / then tried the
third. she looked stone blind. her eyes
were CLASSY, and seemed 10 be looking at
something through me / was about TO
approach the fourth when she walked
away, and | found myself in u corner Of
the room near a tall Young lady N pink
ribbons By this time / had regained
what little common sense l possess, and
was comparatively neglected and alone.
began 20 observe the company with
more GOODNESS. What impressed me most
At themOment was the painful eXertiOn
every one seemed 10 De making 10 be say
ing something all the time NV fourth
L. IL. a .
hair parted In the middle, that lit was
very wet in Washington when ii rained. ="
TheyoUng man replied THAT it was just
so in Europe, but still more so in Paris. -
My whole attention was soon taken up
in observing the tall lady near me. In
early life had obtained "a Sm0ttering OF
anatomy and surgery. | still have some
thing OF a passion for those studies The
tall lady wore her dress very low in the
meek, and II occurred % me what beau
tiful 0rter.al subject she would make;
the muscles were UniuCUmbered with
fat; the StCrnO-mastOid stood out like a
cord; tho cOlidr-bOnc was well developed
and very prominent; the breast hone pro-
truded like an old fashioned corset; all
the landmarks for ligating The arteries OF
the neck were well defined; and in ina
gination / went 20 work / had ligated
both common Car0t0idS, and was cutting
down for the artcria innOminata, when
my attention WAS called to a little lady
Ia green silk, who seemed 10 be address
ing me | now discovered that il was
possible fora lady 10 dress in such way
Us % conceal her face without covering
IT, Her hair was white, her eyes were
white. while her face was literally coat
ed with white powder found 1t impOs
s.SIe 10 get the silk dress out Of my vi
sion so as 10 recognize her face; but the
lady assured me size was the lady OF the
house, that she was glad TO see me; offer
ell 10 introduce me 20 the ladies. This
declined | remarked I had a good
many calls 10 make. and returned 20 my
humble boarding house 10 mOnrn that
had not been bonn into good society. n
When the King Of Portugal addresses
bis wife publicly he is obliged 70 say,
''Ncrv hich and very excellent Princess
dvJ4ria piq Of Savoy Queen of Portugal