The tribune. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1875-08-11
Items OF Interest.

Items OF Interest.
Why cannot temperance man kiss
Jewess 2 He has sworn not to taste
jew-hps.
A tall old fiddler, arrested in the
streets of Paris, claimed to be the ghost
of Paganini.
A wag lent clergyman q horse that
ran away and threw him, and then claim
ed credit for spreading the gospel.
Gather ye roses while ye may,
Old time Is still flying; ts:tj1 .
And the same flower that smiles to-day,
Tomorrow may be dying.
When fat man offers to bet you the
drinks that he weighs over three hun
dred, you don't feel inclined to take him
up, do your .f.-...s.s..,,f.
A minstrel manager ,advertises for O
tenor singer. "who knows how to work
up laugh when the end man is getting
off joke" ~. sir tpHg q ii.
What should be the name of lawyers
wife2 Sue. A printers wife2 Em. A
druggists wife Ann Eliza. "A carpet
mans wife Matte. e"8 l2''
All the inventive genius or the great
and tarnally cute Yankee nation is said
to be unequal to making firecracker.
And we are mighty glad Of it.
" think I have seen you before, sir.
Are you not Owen Smith," 'tOh, yes,
I'm OWN Smith, and owin' Jones, and
OWN Brown, and OWN everybody"
No Norwegian girl is allowed to have
| q beau until she can bake bread and knit
stockings; and, as consequence, every
girl can bake and knit long before she
can read or write.
A Chinese young lady is an applicant
for q teachers place in one of the public
schools Of San Francisco. She insists
that she can "snatchee small boy bal
headed alice same as Melican miss.
It is an open question whether large
hotels pay in the end, more especially
those conducted on the American plan,
| which entails 30 much waste, no matter
how careful or economical their steward
may be.
After all the street car conductors who
have committed suicide because their
honesty was doubted, the New York
companies now find that they have saved
over million dollars by the use Of the
bell punch.
team cocktails" I" Remington cobblers" "
|
will kill at eight hundred yards, the sec
thousand.
A Nashville woman hung her baby to
one of the posts Of porch, and it was
strangled almost to death when discover
ed and rescued. She had Witnessed o
the spectacle had unsettled her reason.
A lady and gentleman paid their fare,
including transfer, in Buffalo street
car, but on changing cars the second
conductor was not notified, and they
were expelled. A jury has now given
them 5000 damages against the company.
During clerical conference, the fol-
lowing conversation was heard between
two newsboys: " I say, Jim, what's the
meaning of 30 many ministers being
here altogether2" "Why," answered
Jim, scornfully, "they always meet once
year to swap sermons"
In O recent scandal case in Smith
county, Kansas, a lady witness declined
to answer question, and the attorney
demanded her reason. "Because, it is
not fit to tell decent people" so,
WE'LL" said the lawyer, just walk up
here and whisper it to the judge"
The fourth of July is an especial holi-
day to the Scandinavians of America.
July 4, 1926, the first small colony of
Scandinavian immigrants set sail for
America, where their followers and de-
scendants now form an element In the
population OF the United States at once
numerous and important.
When Gov. Leslie and Gov. Harlan,
rival candidates for the Kentucky gov
ernship in 1871, were stumping together,
they found at one place only single bed
for the two. "Well," said Leslie, as
they got comfortably under its comfort
ables, zone thing is certain-the next
governor of Kentucky is lying in this
bed"
The Taunton Gazette tells of young
man who recently conceived the bril-
liant idea of popping the question by
postal card. Accordinly he dispatched
one to the idol of his heart, bearing
simply his name and this character
"2" His feelings can be imagined on
receiving by return mail o card inscribed
most energetically 81"
The audience at French theater are
never troubled by tall hats worn by
ladies. The following notice was posted
up in conspicuous position, and proved
to be very effective: The manager ~
quests that all good looking ladies win
remove their hats for the accommodation
of the rest of the audience. The aged,
the bald, and the plain are not expected
to comply with this request.
Europe has five millions OF soldiers all
ready for fighting, with fifteen thousand
cannon, and million and quarter Of
horses its united fleets consist of 2,039
vessels, manned by 280, 900 sailors, and
carrying fifteen thousand guns. The