The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-05-27
NO. IA.
Items of Interest.

Items of Interest.
An object of interest-A note at ninety
days.
Every man should tell his own story
he can tell it better than his neighbor.
A Chinaman in Los Angles, California,
upon being applied to for payment of
debt, replied: eff no havee, how can2"
In 1874 France produced 1860, 900 tons
of pig (crude) iron, 100000 tons of
wrought iron, and $500 tons OF steel.
A Saratoga crocus put its head out of
bud, the other morning, and said : You
lilac everything if you say this isn't
spring.
What three words did Adam use when
he introduced himself to Eve, which
read the same backward and forward?
Madam, I'm Adam.
A Racine merchant used the following
words "I'll be hanged if 1 advertise
in any paper |" and the next morning he
was found dead in bed.
A land patent was recently issued from
the Marysville (Cal) office to George
Washington Christopher Columbus
Whillenbergannanzi.
The Cincinnati Gazette has O para
graph about three ladies in that city
who recently spent two hours in select
ing one simple little straw hat.
"Do you know who 1 am2' asked
policeman of fellow whom he had seiz-
ed by the throat. "Not exactly, sir; but
L fancy you are the malignant collarer. /"
A Nashville preacher hopes his congre-
cation will test their approval by clap
ping their hands-into their breeches
pockets and hauling out contributions.
A Philadelphia Judge took occasion
the other day to remind the public
that street crossings belong primarily to
pedestrians, and only secondarily to We
hicles.
Hydrate of choral as stimulant is
taking the place of opium, hasheesh, ETC.,
in England, and to some extent in this
country. 1t kills in about three years,
on an average.
Aschoolboy being asked by the teacher
how he should fog him, replied: eff you
please, sir, should like to have it on the
Italian system-the heavy strokes upward,
and the down ones light"
A man hanged himself in Paris in the
presence of his paralyzed wife, who was
unable to move or cry for assistance,
and who was obliged to witness the hor-
rifying sight of his death struggles.
A lady whose family were very much
in the habit of making conundrums was
one evening asked by her husbandin in an ex-
cited tone: "Why are all these doors left
opens" 81 give it up!" instantly replied
the lady.
The Sar Francisco "Hawaiian prima
DONNA" of whom the wonderful story of
a ride on sharks back is told, is the
same Adelaide Miller who sang in the
variety theatres in New York and Brook
lyn last winter.
How soon some women change their
minds respecting their husbands! Mrs.
Spipn was forever telling her husband
that he wasn't worth the salt in his bread;
but when he got killed in railway col
lision she sued the company for five thou
sand dollars.
The crows are complaining, and not
without caws, at the bacllwardness OF
the season. They say that if the farmers
don't get their corn in pretty soon, they
will have to organize relief society and
give concerts for the benefit of their
deserving poor.
A passage in the Turkish Scriptures
reads as follows: Take care that your fl
nal account shall be settled before you die.
Undergo here your Indictment and your
trial. Pass on yourself just punish
ment. Then will you pass into the fu-
ture without further chastisement or fear
The Golden Age having said that TO-
nance was better than rum, the Literary
World retorts that bad romance is
more harmful than frst-rate rum, mas
much as it reached and demoralized
class-young girls-which is secure
against the attacks of John Barleycorn.
A celebrated physician was once call
ed upon to prescribe for nervous dis
order. He wrote his prescription in
three parts, as follows: "First, occupa-
tion; second, occupation third, occupa-
tion." This same prescription is re-
medy for many of the ills to which flesh is
heir.
When man mistakes the height of
chair he is going to occupy, by about an
inch and a half, it is remarkable the
amount of momentum he will acquire in
making that little distance. He will
strike that chair with nearly as much
force as if he had sat down in it from the
roof of two-story building.
One of our physicians who had been
greatly annoyed by numerous questions
concerning the condition of a certain
patient, was stopped while on his busy
rounds by man with the old question
How's Mr.. -" "Sick," replied
the physician. "Does he keep his
bed ?" "Of course he does you don't
suppose he's fool enough to sell his bed
because he's sick, do you9"
A curious fact is mentioned relative to
the catastrophe of the balloon Zenith, in
France. 1t appears that NM. Croce-
Spinelli and Sivel had breakfasted as
usual before making the ascent, while
NJ. Tissandier, who had no appetite,
merely took cup of strong coffee. The
inference may, therefore, be drawn that
journey to such great altitude is like
bath-which should not be taken after
a meal.
When young man in Patagonia falls
in love with girl, he doesn't visit her
six nights in week and twice on Sun
day, and feed her upon molasses candy
and gum drops, and sit up until two
o'clock in the morning burning the old
mans oil, and that sort of thing. Not
at all. Courtship in Patagonia is much
more simple. He lassoes the girl, drags
her home behind his horse, and that is
all the marriage ceremony necessary.
A tramp went to sleep on top of a
lime kiln near Baltimore, but woke up
Il al@Al