The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-03-31
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looked at her; the haggard expression
of her eyes and of her features suddenly
struck me with terror.
"Wellp she went on in a voice of which
| shall never forget the tone, you have
willed it sol | am a disgraced wo>
mani"
She urged at once her horse forward,
leaving me crushed by this blow, the more
terrible that had wholly ceased to fear
it, and that it struck me with keen cru
city had not foreseen. There had indeed
been in the unhappy woman's voice no
trace whatever Of insolent staggering; It
was the very voice of despair, a cry of
heartrending grief and timid reproach;-
everything, that might add in my soul to
the torture of a stained and shattered love,
the disorder of profound pity and an I'M
easy conscience.
When l had found strength enough to
look around me was surprised at my own
blindness. Among Madame de Palme's
most assiduous courtiers, figures one Mons
sieur de Mauterne, whose antipathy for
me, though confined within the limits of
good-breeding, often seemed to me to as
sumo an almost hostile tiDge. Monsieur
de Mauterne is a man of my age, tall,
blonde, with a figure more robust than ell
egant, and features regularly handsome,
but stiff and without expression. He pos
sesses social accomplishments, much au~
dacity, and no wit. His bearing and his
conduct during the course OF that fatal
ride would have informed me from the
start, if / had only thought of observing
them, that he believed he had the right
of fearing henceforth no rivalry near Mad
anne de Paine. He assumed frankly the
leading scenes in which she participated;
he overwhelmed her with attentions, af-
fected to speak to her in whisper, and
neglected nothing, in word, to initiate
the public into the secret of his success.
In that respect, he lost his trouble; the
world, after exhausting its wickedness on
imaginary errors, seems thus far to refuse
the evidence which vainly stares it in the
face.
AS to myself, my friend, it would be diff
ficult to depict the chaos of emotions and
thoughts that tossed and tumbled in my
brain. The feeling that swayed me per-
haps with the greatest violence, was that
of hatred against that mana feeling Of
| implacable hatred, of eternal hatred.
was, however, more shocked and more dis
| tressed than surprised at the choice that
had been made of him; he had happened
in the way, and he had been taken up with
a sort of Indifference and Of scorn, as one
| picks up any weapon to commit suicide
with, when once the suicide has been re-
solved upon. As to my feelings towards
her, you may guess them; not shadow
of anger, frightful sadness, tender compass.
| sion, vague remorse, and above all, pas
sionate, furious regret l realized at last
how much had loved heri could scarce
| ly understand the motives which, two days
before, had appeared to me so powerful
so imperative, and which had seemed tc
raise between her and me an insurmount
able barrier. All these obstacles Of the
past disappeared before the abyss Of the
present which seemed the only real one
the only one that was impossible to over
come, the only one that ever existed
Strange factl could see clearly, as clear
ly as saw the sun, that the impossible,
the irreparable was there, and could moi
accept it, could not submit to it. could
see that woman lost to me as irrevocably
as if the grave had closed over her coffin
and / could not give her up My minC
wandered through insane projects and res
olutions; 1 thought of picking a quarre
with Monsieur de Mauterne, and compel
ling him to fight on the spot felt tina
would have crushed him! Their
/ thought of fleeing with her, of margin.
her, of taking her with her shame, after
having refused her purel y Yes, thi
madness tempted mel To remoxe it from
my thoughts, had to repeat hundred
times to myself that mutual disgust AM
despair were the only fruits that could eve
be expected of that union of dishouorec
hand with bloody hand. Ali Paul, how
much / did suffer!
Concluded next week.