Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-05-27
He Didn't Want TO Run.

The predecessor ofour present Coroner
Barney Maginn, was man named
Walsh. He was telling me the other day
about the singular circumstances attend.
ing his election to the office.
"You know" said Mr., Walsh, that ]
didn't want that position. When they
talked OF nominating me i told them,
says l. It's no use; you needn't elect
me; I'm not going to serve. Dyou s'pose
Pm going TO give up respectable bust.
ness TO become kind of State body.
snatcher? D'you imagine I'm going To
occupy my time skeeling about over this
county mauling dead people, and plung
ing things into them, and setting on
them TO find out what killed themS Well
! just amt. I'm no professional corpse
investigator Pm down on this post
mortem foolery anyway. / don't intend
to spend my life rassling with bones ly-
ing all around the State. There's no
sense In il. Why don't you chuck them
into the sepulcher and be done with itY
When mans blowed up with gunpow-
der and comes down in mince meat II
don't interest me 10 know what killed
him; SO you needn't make me Coroner,
LOT won serve,
"Well, sir, do you believe that those
fellers persisted In nominating me on the
Republican ticket Yes, they did
actually put me up as candidate. So
published letter declining the nomina.
ton; but they absolutely had the in
sufferable cheek 10 keep me on the ticket
and to hold mass meetings, at which
they made speeches in my favor. ! was
mad as thunder about IL, because II
showed such scandlous disregard OF
my feelings; and so ! chummed in with
the Democrats, and for about two months
went around 10 the Democratic mass
meetings and spoke against myself and
in favor of the opposition candidate.
thought had them for sure, because
knew more about my own failings than
those other fellcrs did, and i enlarged
upon them until / made myself out
well, Just hcaped up the iniquity until
/ used to 90 home feeling that was q
good deal wickcder sinner than ! ever
thought was before. II did me good, too
] reformed I've been better man ever
since.
Now you'd thought people would a
considered me pretty fair authority
about my own unftness for the Office,
but hope may be killed and eaten IL
the citizens OF this county positively
didn't go to the polls and elect me by
about 800 majority. They did, indeed
| was the worst cut up of any man you
ever saw. had repeaters around at the
polls, too, voting for the Democratic can
didate, and paid four Of the judges TO
falsify the returns so as TO return him.
f. ba tnrttu too
big. They had me In hole. And on
election night the Republican Executive
Committee came round 10 serenade me,
and as soon AS the band struck up
opened on them with shotgun and
wounded the bass'drummer In the leg
But they kept on playing, and after
while when they stopped they poked
some congratulatoIy resolutions under
the front door, and gave me three cheers
and went home. ! was never SO an
noyed In my life.
"Then they sent me round my certifi
cate of election; but refused TO receive
it, and as sure as I'm alive those fcllers
grabbed me and held me while Bill Har'
mer rammed that certificate into my
coat. pocket, and then they all quit. The
next day man was run over on the
railroad aud they wanted me to tend to
him. But / had my mad up and J
wouldn't. So what does the Sheriff. dc
but come here with gang Of police and
carry me ont there by force. And he
scared up jury, which brought In
verdict. Then they wanted me to take
the fees, but ] wouldn't touch them.
said wasn't going TO give my sanction
to the proceedings. But OF course 1t was
no use. thought ] was living in free
country, but wasn't. The Sheriff drew
the money and got a mandamus from thu
Court. and he came here one day while
was at dinner. When said wouldn'i
touch dollar Of it he drew pistol ant
said if | didn't take those funds he'd blow
nv brains out. So what was man U
doY / resigned fifteen times; but some
how those designations were suppressed
never heard from them. Well, sir, a
last | cayed, and for three years KEEP
diminishing around perfectly disgustcd
| meditating over folks that had died sud
denly and inquiring about old, diiapidal
ed cadayers that were picked up In vari
Gus places.
| I" And, do you know that, on towart
The end of my term, they had the face Y
try TO nominate me again! It's pol
tive fact. Those politicians wanted M
| to run again; said was the most popu
lar Coroner the county ever had, SAT-
that everybody liked my way OF hand
| ling a corpse, IL was 50 full OF feelini
and sympathy, and q lot more slnsh In
that But what did I dot WASH
going to run any such risk again.