The weekly Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1872-1887, 1875-09-04
A TItElIEHDEuus BATTLE.
tFrUm the Ohio State Jourral.l

tFroui the Ohio State Jourrall
Old McStinger was going to bed
little wnvy the other night, and not
wishing to disturb Mrs. McStingcr, who
has tongue like n rnt.tail file, he
thought il just us we'll not to turn on
the gas. He got Oh very well until he
reached the door OF the chamber where
his patient wife lay sleeping. Here he
paused moment balancing on his heels
like pole on II juggler's nose. Then
ho made dash for it, i'll order to
make II bco-line acrOss the floor.
| Mrs. McStingcr, with her usual excm-
plary fortitudc, Ind placed the rocking
chair with such gifted skill that no man
could come to her room without running
over il; so, the firrt thing he knew,
McStinScr stubbcd his toc-nail of
against the rocker, which knocked the
seat against the craZy-bonc Of his knee
and made one Of tile long arms prod
lin in the stomach. Simultaneously
he fell over the chair crossing, aud it
kicked him behind the back before he
could get up from the floor, as he stood
on all fours. The engagement was HOW
full opened. When II man begins fall
ing over rocking chairs i'll dark rooms he
ought always to have three days rations
and forty rounds.
Before AIcStinger conld get up
straight his knee came down on one Of
the long rockers behind. and the back
came down on his head with whack
that laid him out Hat on the flour, md
before he could move the chair, kicked
him three times in the tenderest part of
his ribs with the sharp end OF the rocker.
This made him perfectly furious, and
he scrambled up and made II blind
rush ut the chair determined to blow
up the cneny's works. lie ran square
against the back and it rocked forward
with him turning Il complete sommer-
sault over the hnndlcs, throwing Me-
Singer half way across tho room md
landing on top Of him, digging into his
abdomen like bulls horns, rs he lay
spread out Oh the under side. 1t would
have been II good thing for McStinger il
have its own way.
1t luy flat on his bnck with the long
points Of tho rockers embracing his ab-
domcn, and did mt seem to want to do
anything active just then. But Me-
| Singer couldn't make up his mind to
give it up just yet. lie rolled over
|
with IL crash on its side, giving him n
furious dig in the liver, which made
him struitcn out his legs spaslnOdically,
barking one shin from the instcp to the
knee on The rocker which hung III the mir
nnd getting the chair on its feet again
where il stood rocking backward and
forward ut him like wary old ram ma
king fcints Of buckinS his adversary, in
order To throw him OF his guard. The
blow i'll tho side nearly finished Nc
Stinger,and while lying there rubbing
his wind back again, he Was just begin
ming to reflect whether his honor reuuir-
cd him to proceed any further in tho
nffnir. when Mrs. MCStingCr suddenly
began screaming MI tho names in tho
crimes net under the impression that
the Charley Ross abdnctors we're trying
to commit burglary, bignmy, robbery
and everything else.
Up To this time she had been speech
less with terror and had lain there
trembling, shedding prcspirntion md
accommodating power, until she bud
gained the screaming capacity Of n cum
cl-b0ck. Sho had just cached her
third sfOrznndo fOrtissimo accclcrnnto,
when old McStinSer succeeded in get
ting to his feet again, and became dim
ly visible TO Mrs. AlcStinger. With
one last parting shrek she sprung from
the bed and Inndca dish for the door
near which tho rocking chair still stood
mcnncing the whole universe with Il
buttipg motion. Mrs. McStinger had
lie time for Investigation then, and she
pitched into ind over tho chair and
clear on down stnirs, the clair after her,
| turning over and over mud KICKING Mrs
McStingcr rvcry bump, until they both
landed in the hall below, where the
chRir broke nll to atoms. This ended
the fight.
II wives will learn from this snd sto-
~ not to leave rocking-chnirs standing
around the middle Of The room for their
poor husbands to full over, We shall not
have written i'll vain.