New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-10-10
ABOUT ASTRONOMY.
By n. QUAD.

square, and he stood beside it and thought
fully inquired:
SIS 1t possible, gentlemen, that you do moi
care to view the beautiful works of nature
above the esithi Can it be true that men
of your intellectual appearance will sordidly
cling to ten cents rather than to take look
| through this telesc 0pe and bring tine beau.
ties OF heaven to within one and half miles
| OF your eyes9"
The appeal was too much fer one young
man to resist. He was tall young man
| with a long face, high check bones and
an anxious look. He looked at the ten
cents and then a the telescope. besit ,ted a
single instant. and then took mis- seat ON
| the stool.
| Here is q yourg man who prefers to
| feast his soul with scientific knowleG re
| rather than become q sordid, grasping,
a7aricious capitalist remarked the as.
| tronomer as be arranged the instrument.
Fall back, you people who prefer the
| paitry sum of ten cents to a view of the
| gates of paradise, and give this young man
plenty of room!'
The noble young man removed his hat,
placed his eye to the instrument, o cloth
was thrown over his head, and the astrono-
mer continued:
"Behold the bright star OF Venus. A
sight of this star is worth thousand dol
lars to any man who prefers education to
money"
There was an instant of deep silence, and
the the young man exclaimed:
by gosh"
stood behind him and knew that the
telescope pointed at the fifth story OF a
building across the square, where dance
was in progress.
IAN of them indulge in EXPLANATIONS of
admiration as they view the beauties and
mysteries of nature" remarked the astron-
oDer. Young man, tell the crowd what
you see."
II see Teller hugging girlr was the
prompt reply-"durn.d if there isn't a
dezen of them!"
.'Ard yet" continued the astronomer,
"thele are sordid wretches in this crowd
who hang to ten cents in preference to OBJ
serving such sights es these in ethereal
space. Venus is millions of miles away,
and by paying ten cents, this Intellectual
young man is enabled to observe the in
habitants of that far.off world hugging
each other just as naturally as they 40 in
this!
The instrument YVES wheeled around to
bear on the tower of engine house No. Z,
i've blocks away, and the astronomer con-
tinued:
behold the beauties and the wonders of
Saturn! This star, to the naked eye, ap-
pears no larger than silver half dollar.
and yet for the paltry sum of ten cents this
noble young man is placed within a mile of
itr'
"By Jerusalem and coons!" murmured
the young man as he slapped his leg.
Tell them what you see, my friend"
81 see two fellows in u small room, smok-
ing cigars. and playing euchre!' was the
prompt reply.
town." continued the astronomer, "and vet
the insignificant sum of ten cents has en-
abled this progressive young man to learn
Tor himself that the celestial beings enjoy
themselves pretty much as we do in this
world. venture to say that there is not a
man in this crowd who ever knew before
that the inhabitants of Saturn knew any,
thing about euchre or had cigar factories"
The instrument WAS changed again, and
as the interest of the crowd increased, and
the people began to press nearer, the pro-
tessor said:
Now behold the planet Mars, the second
largest planet in the heavens. 1t ia rs, 46l,-
354 miles from here, and appears Ito the
naked eye to be nothing more than bright
star, and yet, let this young man tell you
what he Sees"
Half mile up the street in the top story
ia big building was an evening school.
The telescope got the range of one of the
windows, and the young man almost leaped
from the stool as he shouted, "Hokey to ali.
gatorsr'
ut has been asserted by college astrono-
mers that the planet OF Mars is not in
habited," remarked the professor in quiet
cutting tones. ''Some of them, pulled up
with their arrogance, have called me a
swindler, and have abused this instrument,
which was constructed for me by order OF
the late Emperor Napoleon at cost Of |
W., 900. but let this observing young man
tell you what he Sees"
''Whetstones and whiffletreesr exclaimed |
the yOung man
TELL them-tell them, my young friend, |
what you see" urged the astronomer
There's teller sitting on bench beside |
q girl. l saw him pinch her ear, and she hit |
him with book. Durn my buttons, but |
she's ALFRED purity"
Gentlemen, 1 am no b.owhard," said
the professor, in husky tones. II do not
You have the word OF one of your fell. |
low-townsmen, and I do not believe that
any of you will dispute him. l have
been called swihdier, gentlemen, be-
cause / go around the country tearing
away from astronomy the veil of mys-
terry with which so-called professors,
drawing heavy salaries, seek to cover it,
For the ridiculous Gum of ten cents am
giving the. public more astronomical
EMO Wedge 10 half an hour than any col
ege can give you in six months. demon
'trate to you that the planet Mars lie not
'nly inhabited by human beings, but by
girls with red b air, and by stylish
Eoupg men wearing the best kind Of store
,lOthes.p
Oncp more he wheeled the instrument
around. This time it got the range of the
upper story of tenement house ON the
ILL., The young man had scarcely taken
glance through the tube when he yelled
Tut:
"Great guns! But what planet is thisf,
"You are now looking 1t Uranus" re
,lied the professor. Uranus Is 81, SOC. 3O4
niles distant from the earth, and yet war
ant that II doeen't appear over eighty rods
way to you. VIII you be kind enough,
ny friend. to tell this crowd what you see ~
"Give IL to him Whack him backi Go
D, old woman p shouted the young man. II
tapping one leg and then the other. /,
"6pesk mp, my friend; what do you sect"
That's 1t! Got him BY the hair now! I'll
.et 6fty to one that she'll hckp
won't you be kind enough, my friend,
Q al!ay the curiosity OF your friendsp
"Whoop! that's 1t; now she's got him; |
'urtieat family. hght I ever saww cried the
'oung man ~ he moved back and clapped
Tka psofessor coversd up the instrument.
lowiy aad carefally, pie.-ed mp and I'M
ccked . satekel which had been lying near
lts feet, and then eoftly said:
'sl2entlemen, Wo will pause here for q |
noment. When man tells you altar this
hat 10 planet Of Uranus ID not inhabited,
ell him that you know better-that 1t IL
lot only Inhabited, but that the
sarried couples up there have family
|ghu the ssme - on this mundane
phers Ia sbout ten minutes l viii Be-
nnfsas ~ M s~.<k5;. (~>.---- - c-S