Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1875-04-10
THE PASTORAL GIMLET.

THE PASTORAL GIMLET.
Once a city pastor was absent from
home for a week. During his absence
the son of a member who lived several
miles out of town died. He did not
hear of the young mans death until
he returned. Then he was taken sick,
and it was a week or ten days before
he could safely drive out and visit his
afflicted parishioner. The first words
which greeted his ears were, well, |
thought you'd forgotten US )" and then
the good woman sat complacently
down to be consoled.
That is what | mean by the pastoral
gimiet, and it is astonishing how pro-
ficient certain Church members be-
come in its use. The delicacy in in
sinuating, the dizziness and grace in
twisting, can only have been acquired
by assiduous practice. They know
just where it will go in most easily,
just how many turns to give it before it
gets down to the quick.
There are various scientific twists of
the glmblet known to adopts and to
victims.
There is the sarcastic twist. Hos
tess enters the parlor, and greets the
pastor thus: Good afternoon, DR.. A;
really the sight of you is refreshing.
Have you found out at last where we
live?"
There is the business twist: do
you know that you haven't been inside
our house for six months?" Parsons,
as well as mathematicians are painful
ly aware that figures can't lie; so that
this twist is peculiarly effective one,
usually transfxing the victim, and re-
ducing him at once to a condition of ST.
lent helplessness.
Then there is the reproachful twist,
also very efective-tremendously so if
the twister can manage to start Isl
lent tear >" Really, We began to doubt
whether we had any pastor"
And once in a while we are treated
to the spiteful twist, in administering
which the operator, or more COM
monty the Operatrix, is at no pains
to conceal her fell intent, but drives
the unoiled gimlet in with a steady
hand; or, in other words, gives the
parson a sharp setting down" on his
short shortcomings.
The men who vince under this in
strument are the conscientious pas
tors, who are forever haunted by the
vague sense of work in arrears, and
constantly tormentsd with self-re- |
proach because they do not bring it |
up. The gimlet is terrible thing to !
such a one. He knows the gimlet- |
houses as well as a doctor knows
where small pox is. He braces him.
self to visit them once or twice year. |
He says loosely to a friend at the |
gate: Il know there is a rod in pickle |
for me here. He sits down to his |
work very much as if he were going
to have a tooth filled, meets the twist |
of the gimlet without pOrtraying his |
inward writings, kneels down and |
prays with the gimlet- twisters, and |
rises from his knees to meet parting
thrust, as thus: Now that you've |
found the way here, | hope that we
shall see you often" And as be goes
down the steps he looks into his book, |
and seeing that the next place on the
list is also a gimlet- he says to
himself: Not to-day; one day is ali
[ can stand" You cheerful, sunny,
sympathizing souls, God bless you
who perhaps excite the jealousy of |
your neighbOrs because the minister
drops il" at your houses so much |
oftener than at theirs-does it never
occur TO you that he comes almost as |
much for his own sake as for yours,
because he knows you always have oil |
and wine in your casks for the wounds |
of the gimlet?
Now, We gimlet-twisters, We pastor
perforators, lift up your voices and an
swer: What do you want a pastoral |
visit for? Do you want to talk with |
your pastor about your temptations
and trials? Do you want instruction |
on some question of Christian expert |
ence? Do you want TO discuss some |
scheme of Christian enterpriss2 Not |
you No lawyer is more adroit ia |
turning the conversation the moment |
it takes any such direction. Let the |
pastor take up the gimlet in his turn,
duu IAbbt ANul lltdtN- anu lay DaTC !
your poor, starved, stunted, religious
life; let him tax you vigorously with
your absence from prayer meetings or
Sabbath worship, and you will not
complain of the scarcity of pastoral
visits. The truth is, you do not desire
counsel, nor comfort, nor Christian
communion, but attention. Your pas
tors absence wounds your pride. You
care little about his doing the work he
was especially called to do for you, but
you are vexed because he does not
concede more to your importance.
You are not thirsting for living water.
but for the tacit flattery of attention.
thus seeking to convert the messenger
whom Christ sends with living bread
to your home and heart into minister
to your vanity. The people whose
hands are idle, whose purses are shut,
whose voices are against every enter
prise which involves sacrifice and la
Dor, are the people who are masters of
the gimlet.-Dr. H. IL. Vincent