Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1875-11-12
where the Political Hitch ., Made.

Inc womans cause is mans; they rise or 81 nk
Together, dwarfed or god like. bond or free.
-.----
where the Political Hitch is Made.
Honestus saw with joy the notice Of an
approaching primary meeting, and when
the evening arrived he fastened 10 the hall
with the pleasing consciousness that be
was discharging great public duty. He
reached the hall, and was heartily well
coined by the observant managers, whom,
If he had had Titbottoin's spectacles at
hand, he would have seen to be foxes-at
least. They were very glad indeed to see
Honestus and men like him engaging in
politics. They saw In the fact the augury
OF better day. 1t was peculiar pleasure
to cooperate with him, and they trusted
that this was but the beginning of a good
habit upon his part. Honestus could not
help thinking how easy it was to exagger-
ale, and suppose men TO be a great deal
worse than they are, and wondered that he
had never before taken the trouble-or, ra-
th er, fulfilled the.duty-of attending the
primary meeting.
The proceedings began, and he was ex.
ceedingly Interested. officers were ap-
pointed, and 1t was evident from their
speeches that nothing but honesty and
economy was 10 be sought, and only men
OF the most spotless character nominated.
But il was necessary TO have committee
upon nominations; and TO his surprise and
qualification Honestus heard his own name
mentioned as one Of the committee, and al
most blushed he was appointed its chair
man. The committee was requested 10
withdraw and 10 report the names OF can
didates as soon as possible. Honestus and
his colleagues therefore retired to dim
passage -way-where as he subsequently
remarked, he should have been rather
alarmed TO meet either of them at night
and alone-and business began. Various
| names were mentioned, Of which, unfortu-
nately, Honestus had never heard one;
and al length one of the most positive of
the COMMITTEES said, empbatically, that, up
! on the whole, Jones was the very man for
The place. There was general murmur of
assent and satisfact ion. Honestus heard
on every side that it was "just the thing;"
that Jones was IAN A boy" an that he
was always there y he was also square"
aud right up 10 the llne;'' and by COM
mon consent Jones seemed TO be the Heav-
en-appOlnted candidate.
II ,her disturbed at his total ignorance
OF this conspicuous public character, Hon.
estus turned TO his neighhor and said,
guarde dly, with the air OF man who was
musing upon Jones's qualifications, "Oh,
Jones-Jones?'
YES" said his neighbor, "Jones."
Certainly" replied Honestus; certain
ly. But-Who-is Jones 2"
His neighbor looked at him for a mo-
meut, and repeated ithe question in a tone
OF incredullly -"Who is Jones F'-as If he
mad said, Who Is George Washington
"Yes; don't think that know him."
I'D ont know Jonesf"
"No."
"Well, ii you did know him. you'd know
that he's just the man we want bang up;
made for it."
"Oh, is he?'
| "You beta l."
"Well," said the member who had first
announced that Jones was The very man
for the place, 81 suppose they'll be waiting.
/ nominate Jones as the candidate"
The chairman said yes. bat that, unIort-
unately for himself, he did not know Mr..
Jones.
swell, you don't know any thing against
him, do you - asked the other.
Certainly not.'
"Well, we all know him, and he is the
very man. We ought TO hurry"
Honestus put the question, and Jones
was unanimously named as the candidate
to be reported 10 the meeting by the chair.
man. The meeting was already stamping
| and calling for the committee, and the en-
ergetic mover OF Jones said that 1t was
necessary to go in fright away" The
committee made for the hall, aud the chair
man followed. HekI)N thing Of jones
nor OF the people who had named him, and
he knew nobody else whom he could pro-
pose for the place. Honestus felt very
much as leaf mlgh feel upon the fall Of
Niagara, and In the next moment the chair
man Of the meeting was asking him if the
committee were ready 10 report. The chair
man of the committee bowed. The chair
man of the meeting said that the report
would now be made. Honestus stated that
he was instructed 10 report the name OF
Jones. The meeting roared. There was
some humping by the chairman, and Hon
estus heard only The name Of Jones and
"by acelamation" and whirlwind Of calls
upon "Jones r. "Jonesp "SpeechP
"Spsechr The next moment Jones, with
a large diamond pin, was upon the plat
form thanking aud promising, and the
meeting was stormily cheering aud ad-
journing sine die. HOnsstus walked quick
ly home, percelving that the result OF his
practical effort to discharge the primary
duties Of citizen was that Jones, one OF
the most dlsreputable and dishonest OF pub-
lie sharks had been nominated by COM
mittee Of which he was chairman, aud that
the whole weight OF The name OF Honestus
was thrown upon the side OF rascahty With
| diamond pin. And be reflected that in
| politics, as elsewhere, II Is necessary 10 be-
| gin AS early In preparation for action as the
rascals.-EDIToR's EASY CHAIR, In Hdr-
per'S Magazine for RoV.
READY SYMPATHY.-A wag entered a
l 4 -