The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1875-06-11
Miscellaneous.


To get money and keep it, according to
Richard Whinstone's catechism, were the
two chief ends Of man. He was single
man on principle. 1t was the right thing
economically, and therefore right indubita-
bly,. To one person in the world Richard
Whinstone was generous, and that was his
dear friend Richard Whinstone.
Richard Whinstone had done good day S
work. He had made one or two profitable
bargains; he had sold out the widow Morton
and turned her and her children out of doors
for non-payment of rent and, finally, he
had read little boy with pinched and pit
ful face, who had besought the price of a
loaf of bread, and who had a sick mother at
home, Il lecture on the siniulness of begging
that evidently touched the little wretch $
conscience, for he turned aside and wept
bitterly
"You're good citizen, Dick" he said, as
he sat down at dinner, "and deserve to be
rewarded"
The dinner was one of his own heart. 1t
was a treat that he promised himselfif things
went right, and they had gone right. He
ate drank and was merry. If his appetite
lost its edge, the bottle of Burgundy was
there to whet it, and he fell to again, till the
last morsel, like Macbeth's amen, stuck in
his throat
Safety nomnally begets placidity. The
lion, the leopard and the lamb might lie
down together any day, with perfect safety
to the latter-provided the former had their
bellies full. The boa constructor, gorged
with an OK, betakes himself for a season to
life of quiet. But the effect on Richard
WhinstOne was different The expenses of
a whole sucking pig, wallowing in wine,
rested heavily on his conscience, and his
brain began to busy itself with schemes of
reimbursement
The current of his thoughts was interrupt
ed by loud knock. Who could be coming
on business at that hour? Some one, per-
haps, with bill to discount in an emergen-
cy that would bear no waiting. So much
the better and he opened the door.
"How are you, Dick?" said the stranger,
greeting him with a familiarity altogether
too careless for Il needy customer.
81 have not the pleasure of your acquaint-
ance, sir" said Richard, in a tone more
freezing than polite.
"But know you very vel" !" returned the
stranger; "and pray don't let us stand here
lan l,ri. f,p Ia
chilly" saying which he led the way to the
next apartment which Richard had Just
quilted. "W ell, this is comfort" he con-
tinucd, rubbing his hands before the fire.
81 haven't felt so much ut home since left
there"
4 hasty survey of his visitor added alarm
to Richards astonishment. lie was wiry,
Unlocking little man, in rusty suit of
black with wicked leeron his face, and one
club foot.
81 say, Dick" the little man resumed,
holding his hands in the blaze, as if they
were fre-proof, "what an inhospitable dog
you are"
"Whether hospitable, or inhospitabe," :"
growlcd Richard, losing his temper as he
gained his courage "is not your business
but would like to know what it is"
"Its bad talking business on an empty
stomach"
81 don't see how it's to be helped" an
swercd Dick, doggedly.
"Don't see how it's to be helped, you cur
mudgeon," thuudered the little man, fierce
ly. "With the remains of such a feast on
the table, there must be more where it came
from"
"Upon my word" replied Richard, meek
ly, for he was getting frightened again,
"there is not bit in the house.,
Don't liew roared the other "there is
a cold ham in the pantry and demiiohn of
brandy in the closet"
"How do you know that?" it was on the
tip of Richards tongue to ask, but he was
too much amazed to speak,
GLOW do know ii ?" broke in the stran-
ger, as if reading his thoughts, "why smell
them; 80 bring them out"
Richard would have demurred, but his
guest made movement which convinced
him delay might be dangerous, and the re-
quired articles were produced. Without
changing his seat, the little man drew up to
the table and began to eat. And how did he
eat A chunk of ham big enough for a
shark bite, was stuck on the point of car
wing knife, and thrust down his throat with