The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1875-07-01

THE MATRIMONIAL BAzAR.-There has
foated into our Office on the wings of "a bal
my June zephyr, cunning little journal bear
ing the above title and devoted, as it's name
suggests, to the furtherance and accomplish
ment of Hymenial entanglements. 1t has its
origin in that metropolis so famous for the pro-
duction of Chicago, and we doubt
not but the grandeur OF its object and tue ele-
waited character Of its mission will ensure its
Several columns are devoted to advertisements
soliciting correspondents, locks Of hair, photo
graphs, front teeth and other tender memor-
ais Of the idolizcd, absent and unknown. The
advertisers set forth age, color Of eyes, weight,
peculiarities &C., in the usual orthodox fash
ion.
Among the eager aspirants for matrimonial
honors we observe the name. of one who for
years has been known throughout the Valley OF
Virginia, as one of Hymen's most devoted sub
jects and whose zeal and activity in pursuit of
q partner and help-meet has only been eluall-
ed by his signal and successive failures to
''overtake" her. He has made 'swooing'' a
speciality and the study of life time, while to
amatory correspondence he has brought the
treasures of extensive research and the gifts of
vigorous and cultivated mind. Over the va
rious signatures Of ''Unus singulorum,'
BACHELOR, :" ssSngle Bessedness'' &C., he has
poured forth canto after canto of immortal
verse celebrating the beauties of the married
state and bemoaning the horrors of celibacy
When Pegasus became jaded and needed not the
vigorous digs Of his spur, he would dismount
and take to prose, and column after column
of amato-phlosophic discourse, would attest
the energy Of his intellect and the fixed ness of
his purpose. He worshipped many and he
worshipped much. Sonnets in sprightly meas
ure were indited to the eyes OF school girls;
versifcation Of more dignified rythm embodied
the charms of ladies of maturer years and SOL
emn epcsssattuned to the melancholy of his
soul, poured forth the story of his hopeless pas
For years he has been charming the sad, sad
lesson.." and now, if, though the divinely APP
pointed agency of this active little sheet, he
should find IN opportunity, let lis hope that the
"Semi- Centennial" anniversary of his efforts
to .connubialize will be celebrated by a
bona tide wedding and all the blissful !
anticipatons which glitter thro' his songs will
be his in ecstatc reality for all time to come. |
We are sorry to note one thing, and that is
reckless disregard of. fact in stating 'she is
young man." Many Of our community to-day,
whose locks are silvered and whose daughters
are looking out for permanent establishments
remember the middle aged efforts of our I'M
happy friend to enter the Utopia of wedlock,
and when they see his card. they will wonder
where that fountain of perpetual youth may |
be, and how it is that Tazewell County has so
long possessed it and yet remains in obscurity. |
We wish him AL manner of success. We |
hope that widow, perhaps widow with |
nineteen responsibilities, may he the
product Of this fishing in deep matrimo-
NAL waters and tho, as of old, he may shrink
and waver when the supreme moment arrives
which is to blend his celbacy with her excess
i've ''matrmoniaity, still he should take
courage feom inspiring verse and march boldly
OIL as.the words of the we'll known poem ring
in his cars-~
Come on come on, tie pilot cries,
Oh, Bachelors! why tarry,
When Hymen's torch dispels the gloom9
Oh. come, right on and marry!