Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1875-12-13

opot1eu ldil chdTSeu an lnterVleWerS D
Webster was twenty.one years COM
piling his dictionary.
Bonner pays his best Ledger story
writers $4,000 year.
The Prince of Wales takes four news
paper reporters with him to India.
Bub, is your mother in? asked a
Vicksburg lady the other evening, of a
lad Of ten. who was lounging over his
widowed mothers gate. No. she's out,
he answered Gone out to visit your
dead fathers grave? she continued.
Not exactly, he smiled she's gone after
ice cream with chap who has got three
inches of fat on his ribs. and I'll bet
ten TO one she'll halter him less'n a
month.
Bishop Kavanagh. of the Methodist
Episcopal Church South, who left for
California few weeks ago. in early life
was a practical printer. One day good
sister. in conversation with him, asked ::
''Bishop. is it true that you were once a
printer % ''Yes, madam" he promptly
replied. with twinkle in his eye 81
have pulled the devils tail many q day
till my hands were blistcred !" The
good lady was somewhat startled at the
remark, but was entirely relieved when
the bishop explained that the devils
tail' was only the bar handle of an old
Washington hand press that he had pull.
ed during the days of his apprenticeship
in country office. Fr
CoRREcT.-The following. says Can
ada paper. actually occurred in this vi.
cinity not long since A lady teacher
was instructing young class in the
meaning of different words principally
by illustration. At length the word
husband was reached. None of the pu-
pills could clearly understand the mean.
ing of the word. To make it clearer for
them she says, supposing | should get
married. what would it be that should
have? For a few moments their little
heads we're busy trying to comprehend
what it would be. when one bright lit.
tie fellow. with his countenance beaming
with satisfaction at having solved the
problem, shouted out, A baby, ma a'am.
HADN'T HEARD OF SHAKsPEARE.-
Everett's art gallery in the Times bull.
ding is graced with fine oil painting Oi
Shakespeare, which hangs prominently
from a centre column at the back Of the
store The other day lady from tho
country came in. glanced about, and in.
quired of Mr.. Everett, pointing to Shak
spears phiz. What minister is that ?
That is Shakespeare. replied the UT
bane Everett, with playful smile OF
his lips.
Oh. it is. hey? Where does he preacl
now ?
He wasn't minister, madam. H,
was a poet.
Oh ! ah ! yes. 1t seems to me Nv,
heerd on him somewhere. Did he writ
any pieces for the Free-Will BaptIs
hymn book?
Mr.. Everett politely sought to diver
the lady's attention by showing her
picture Of Jacob kissing Rachel. whel
the old lady innocently inquired, afte
studying the engraving curiously:
What be they wrastlin' about?
After asking when there was to he
circus in Troy again. she left the ar
gallery highly pleased Troy Times
The vicksburg boy can stand up wit
any other boy in the world against a
accusation. The other day when
vicksburg mother discovered sugar ol
the pantry shelf she called TO her bo
and said:
Some one has been stealing this su
gar! ll.u lFfl.l.
Is it possible? he exclaimed, rolliD
his eyes in astonishment.
Yes. it is possible, and the thief ism
far away. C.lt ~
Amt he. Do you suspect father ?
| No. doh't. ,.fH| -..-t~-,.
| Couldn't be the cat. could it (? he il
quired, glancing under the table
search of the feline. .r...-.r5
Cats don't eat sugar, young man.
They don't?
| No sir; the thief was boy abOl
your size. -it'
He is? I'd just like to catch him
here once. ~.......--
If this sugar is disturbed again. 81
said. as she covered the box. know
a boy who'll get bis jacket busted.
That's bullyl l wish you'd let n
stay out Of school SOS to see you cat
and maui him lErrf .uolraEl
And he went out TO devour the 9th
lumps Vieksbuzg Herald