The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1875-04-15
MISCELLANEOUS.

A literary bet-The alphabet.
The Changers trump-Spades.
The raw material-A raw hide.
s"The unlucky nine canine.
The original greenbacks-frogs.
High living for hard times-rooms in
the attic.
The latest thing in front door locks
night keys.
Men who never do wrong seldom do
anything.
THE latest spelling match wrinkle is
contest between the old maids and bach
elors of Quincy, Mass.
ToRPEDOEs are now sent into whales
at the end of a newly invented harpoon
in use at Norway. They kill the fish
without delay.
Boston doctors don't advertise, but
whenever there is a petition to be sign
ed, and published, they are all on it
with big NJ. d.
London is ahead. It has more Jews
than Palestine, more Scotchmen than
Edingburg; more Irish than Dublin;
more Catholics than Rome, and more
thieves than Chicago.
The greatest discovery at Pompeii is
that of a woman making a fire in a cook
stove while her husband is in bed and
asleep. She WAS a noble woman.
It is said that nothing will cure
poets affection for his idol sooner than
to catch her at the dinner table excavat-
ing the kernal of a hickory nut with a
hair-pin.
s'Drunkeness, unlike some other evils
which affiict u.s. says the Milwaukee
Sentinel, ''seems inherent In our ma
ture." That's what we've suspected all
along.
THREE bushels of good sand, mingled
with half bushel of good lime and a
half bushel OF cement, makes an excellent
mortar, which is not liable to be dislodg-
ed by storms.
A prominent Detroit Universalist,
some months ago, married red headed
widow with four children, and last week
remarked to friend: 81 was blind
when [ believed there is no hell. I see
now"
One of the theatrical critics having
spoken of Emily Soldene as 'sa Gordian
shape of dazzling hue" the Providence
Press says: eve suppose he means to
convey the idea that she's knotty as well
as nice.
GENERAL SPINNER's resignation wasre-
ceived with general sadness among the en-
ployes of the Treasury. The Washing
ton Republican says the women clerks
wept like children when be told them of
it.
No statue that the rich man places os-
tentatiously In his windows is to be con-
pared to the little expectant free press
ing against the window pane, watching
for his father, when his days occupa-
ton is done.
Nevada brides won't stand much fool
1shness at a wedding. Recently one of
them while going up the isle of the
church stopped short and kicked all the
skin off the shins of groomsman who
trod on her trail.
When common Japanese goes into
the presence of an office-holder he must
say: s'Great and distinguished child of
the sun, deign to put your foot upon my
neck. There's some pleasure in hold
ing an Office In that country.
This is the season of the year when
the farmer tells his son john, that if he
will sort over ten bushels of potatoes,
feed the stock, repair that fence and re-
shingle the corn-crib he may have the
rest of of the day to go rabbit hunting.
Apropos of the spelling mania il may
be of interest to know that lady of
Providence, r. l., during leisure mo-
ments, has spelt SIX hundred and fifty
words out of the word congregational
list, and in no case repeating a letter in
the formation of a word.
When they want to find out in the
country if girl is counting or not, an
old lady steps in and remarks: 81 say,
there amt no one sick in this here house
or nothin', is there? I seen light
burnin' nigh on to twelve o'clock last
night; but don't smell no campfire
nor nothin' around"
An aged colored Individual stepped
into store on Woodward avenue, and
asked how the thermometer stood: GA
hundred and fortynine degrees below
zero = replied one of the clerks. SIS
dat fax?" exclaimed the old man; s'then
I've lost s.. [ jist made bet it war
hundred an fifty"