The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1875-10-12
NUMBER 1910.
There are 9)o,O0J women in Great
IT tam who cannot marry.

4
Lavender says his wife is the most
even-tempered ,man in III, w,r.d.
She is always mad.
Let mother rejoice. The New York
Court OF special Session, has fined q
milk dealer 800 for selling adu.teiat-
ed milk.
Ont in Nebraska, il the Nebraska
papers may be believed, they have sem
fenced man to be hanged in January
1875"
A Russian proverb says: Before GO
ing to war pray once; before going to
sea pray twice; before going to be mar
ried pray three times.
II is hard to tell which will bring tn,
most pleasant expression into a wo-
man's face-to tell her that her baby is
heavy or her bread light.
Blobbs. speaking OF an uaintaacs
whose stock OF brains was heavily
mortgaced, remarked, "Why, he's next
door to a fool, aud sometimes moves
in"
Miss Hosmer, the American sculp-
tress. proposes sending from Rome TO
the Centennial q marble group repro
senting the emancipation OF tho saves.
A Miss Hergent, OF Kansas, has fall
en- heir to an estate valued at $1,000
aud scores Of impecunious young fell
lows are urgent to become her agent.
A Connecticut farmer the other day
dug up a potato in his garden patch,
in which pair Of spectacles were fair
ly imbedded. Probably the tuber had
weak eyes.
Willard Carpenter, OF Evansv. lie,
Ind, has filed for record deeds convey
ing $50, 900 OF city property t. col
lege founded by him aud called Will
ard College.
A gentleman in Howard County,
X snsas, lately presented the following
bill to the County BJtrd: Elk Co.,
X. To Mr.. =, DIR. To services as ono
insane juror, s2."
DR.. Hall says that no person sholli
get out Of bed as soon as wax ny--thit
Ia, no man. He shoald | e there aud
speculate and theorize while his wife il
getting breakfast ready.
DIR. Mary Walker wears male trous-
ers, to be sure; but they are frilled
And Bsatea ap and fhTfedh besides fesp being
makes an ordinary pair Of pauts blush
to think Of II.
"I never sot my hand to writin' poet
/ ~ till two years agI." sa Il young
ruralist, fitting back IN a Rr Gerry air.
| but the minute L took TO goia' with
that J ,hnson girl. by gosh couldn't
help it,"
An Illiuois farmer, driving behind q
team of mules, tue other day, discover
ed glitter on the hoof of Que of them,
examined it aud found a gold ring.
which the mule hal stepped on aud
secured with the cork Of his shoe.
John Heury's wife wrote to him. in
mo ,quito time, that she had ''iiftesn
oites. aud. rs she forg It To or ,ss her
g, John went raging round like raw
ing iuuatic He diJn't care ~ much
about her having "biles" as he did
about her spelling 'em 50.
A Presbyterian minister, while mar
ryiug a couple of his rustic parishion-
ers, felt exceedingly disconeerted on
his asking the bridegroom if he were
willing ~ take the woman for his we'd
ded wife, by his scratching his head
and saying, "Ay, Pm wullin'. but I'd
rather have her sister"
In New York last week Louisa Heus-
er. pretty girl Of fourteen. attempted
% commit suicide by drinking a pint
Of red ink. This sounds incredible,
but it Is true. The physician dida't
order her to swallow sheet of blotting
pad. because he didn't think it would
be write.
At a recent Connecticut fair several
bottles of native wines were set before
the ''Sine tasting Committee" for pre-
miums. Tnere WAS great diversity OF
opinion and q warm discussion, follow
ed by intense disgust when it WAS found
that n wag had filed all the bottles
from the same barrel.
A little girl went into n neighbor's
house one day, and some apple parin "a
lay on plate on the table. After ait
ting a while. she said, "I smell apples.
Yes. the lady replied, Il guess you
smell these apple-parings on the plate.
No, no, she said, "taint them smell;
I smell whole apples
A daughter OF the late Hon. Z. T.
Coggeshail, of Columbus, Ohio, now
quite young lady. wears the name,
proclamation Emancipation Cogges-
hall I" They call her Prockie for short
and she signs her name "Prockie E..
She was boru on the day that President
Lincoln's proclamation of emancipa.
ton was issued, and her eccentric
father, in a burst Of patriotism. made
his babe living chronicle of the great
event
A resident of New London. Connec-
ticut, is astonishing people by musical
performances upon piece OF small
wire attached to nail aul held be-
tween the thumb and hager. He can
so play piece Of music upsn this wire
that it will sound "a though Played ia
two different places and in different
keys at the same time, and softly that
, the tones eau scarcely be heard one
; foot from the performer.
D Nordboff. in a recent letter to the
: New York Herald. says that more than
= 25. 900 whites aud blacks, have rrmov-
, Ell from Georgia. during the pact five
| years. The next Eve years will witness
: a lurSe exodus. unless Dempcr,cy in
that State extends justice IT, the labor
'.s oi.asoA, the poor whit sand blacks.
Georgia has everything To make of
herself grand manufacturing centre.
n But she will grow less prusperou' eve.
Y ry year, nnless she adopts a moce gen.
Y rruus aud humane policy toward her
working men.
"See what feeil" exclaimed little
}, dapper dandy, loafing on Clark street,
;. last evening, as he pointed to the tre-
q menious pedal extremities ut AN over.
yrowr but honest looking youth who
/. was passing at the time. "Oh-ho-ho!
laughed a crowd OF brother ''styles.
Q "I sweah. though" continued the firsl
speaker, "If I don't believe the FELL st
seahs twice az lawdgc boot as l do.
" Yes" quietly said the youthful com
4 tryman, as he half turned round in bis
Il course, "And the dandy, looking at his
companions with sickly smile, tried
to get some consolation, but they did
/. not give him any.-Chicago Journal
AxcrxSr MEArs We ate a slice oi