National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1875-12-24
MINOR TOPICS.

MINOR TOPICS.
The time approaches when the small boy OF
well-to-do parents will lead elephants around
by string and choke growls out of tigers and
roars out of lions, and yet yearn for drove OF
camels and a brand new sled.
The Spanish organ, the Epocd, says that
when the Madrid Government has crushed the
Cuban instruction it will place large num-
Der of heavy guns on the coast of the island as
San ounce of preventive If Spain waits
until the insurgents are crushed before she
puts those guns there, the manufactures
which make them can reduce their forces
ninety per cent. and run on one third time
without delaying the operation.
Naimaseda goes to Spain, and in return for
this favor en- the part of Cubs, Spain sends her
another large reinforcement of soldiery to en-
terrain her natives by q series of scalp dances,
in which pillage and murder will figure con-
spicuously. Cuba is the most desirable spot
f0r Spaniard who is tired of life and cares
not to stay, and the more there are of them
who sail for Cuba the less there will be of
them for Carlist bullets and Spanish graves.
The Cincinnati Enquirer Is very funny pa
per, always restless and never satisfied. When
it has no material with which to lash the backs
of its contemporaries it turns upon itself and
beats the dust from its own jacket. When the
senior editor of that journal first received the
Jews of Speaker Kerr's committee appoint
meuts he was simply sight-full of interest,
f,n If min hat
and Means-who's Morrison?" he cried, as the
beads of perspiration started with freeness to
flow. " Morrison, Morrison; 1 don't remember
Morrison. What in the name of blankety
blank does it mean! An untried leader on our
first committee as its chairman, and a hard
money man, too! Ye gods, we are lost, for
"No more shall the voice
OEthe raRbAby whine
In the land call my own.
It is now dead, dead,
From punch In the head,
And Kerr must pick the bone"
and with frantic leap he left his chair and
disappeared through the door into the gloom.
Went to meet some consolation.
Mrs. Mix was dreaming dream. To dream
a regular dream is quite natural to some per-
sons, but that of Mrs. Mix was an extraordi.
nary one. She was on a steamer, she thought,
and old Ocean, stirred by an unusually strong
wind, was rocking the ship like a very spirited
boy on hobby horse, and it was difficult for
her to keepin the berth. Twas plunge here and
dive there, and in her violent efforts to pre-
serve her relation with the couch she stretched
forth her hands and clutched Mr.. Mix ner-
vously by the hair, and cried, "CIing to me,
John, or we perish" John came out of his
deep sleep in a vigorous lunge to a horizontal
position, and. fastening his fingers in the upper
covering, shouted 'Polieew "Murderp and,
looking at his wildly staring wife for a mo-
ment, said, in husky tones, whats the
matter, Sarah" and Sarah said, "What's the
matter, John?" and John and Sarah both smiled
in their drowsiness, sank back upon the pillows
and were soon again in heavy slumber. Yes
terday morning Mrs. Buck came in and asked
if they felt the earthquake. "John," cried
Mrs. Mix, John, that was what's the matter"
John felt for the top of his head, rubbed it,
and nodded a silent affirmative nod.
He came from New England, and his mis-
sion was important. He was q red-nosed fell
low, with the bitches of care dug deep on his
brow. He was politician; one of those men
who are always trying to get into Office, but
by the peculiar turn of fortunes wheel arc
eternally LEFT out, a sort of political parasite
who clings TO the hulk of the Democratic party
like barnacles to the bottom of a sunkeu ship.
He came from New England because New
England had no particular use for him; and
again because he proposed to attend closely to
a.. .f4 a
he came he had it all cut, dried and put up.
He was going to have those COMMITTEES formed
so that the voice of Massachusetts, and the
tones of Maine would be heard in the land.
He intended to make New England lead and
the South follow; and he didn't. This must
have been his affiietion, for he was mad at
himselE-mad at his party-tired of life. e" Is
Massachusetts" he cried, stroking the air
with undue violence, sis Massachusetts, to
bend the supple knee to The arrogance of
Southern chivalry! Massachusetts,, loyal,
patriotic Massachusetts,, the home of our
fathers, the birthplace of freedom, the cradle
of liberty, is she to play second fiddle in
this great political oratorio, and hold the
drum for the Bourbon rebellions South to
beat! Never! never! I'll vote the third-term
ticket first; and when the third-term is ended,
I will vote the fourth-the fifth! aye, Grant
ism! mperialism-anything, foreyer-rsther
than submit to these men who, deep down in
the damnable pits of their black hearts, have
Matched this scheme to sell out New Eng
land-gracious, cultured New England-for
the purpose Of restoring the huckstering poll
ticians ofthe Bourbonized, unreconstructed, re
bellious South" and with cleDched teeth he
rushed through a bar-room door and cried,
feyerishly, "ITl take it straight, on this our
forefathers' day ~