The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-30
CREAM or OUR EXCHANGES.

The above on kissing compels us 10 give ouf
poetical sentiments on
OSCILLATION.
John meeting Kate in the garden one day,
Seized her and kissed her In quite "a slow way
said Kate TO John, " Do you dread some disaster
Else wba, is the reason you don't take EN- faster"
said John TO Kate as they stood lip to lip,
THE gods drinking nectar 90 slow 10 sip:
For to swallow the cup full all down at one
gulp, .,
10 boiling the grape without tasting the pulp"
Then saying as well as she could between kisses,
John, know what the meaning of bliss is =
youthful Pennsylvania grangar about to be
rhastiscd by his father the other day, called for
grandfather to protect him from the midd!enan'
-Ex.
Here was case where the granger theory
sailed to work.
According to the La Sale Press, they have
party down thcrc--an NJ. ID. whose name isspell-
I'd "Xclowsky!' Well bet Steve" OF the Press,
cigar, that he can't pronounce it without
scratching his head.
Water is reported scarce at La Sale. That
seems like slim excuse for drinking whisky.
Our city is now illuminated by gas and horse
Ysilway-FjrsS.
Illuminating gas is somewhat common, but a
horse railroad that eliminates city, is start
ling!
And so Bonner has discharged II. W, Beecher,
Ms greatest correspondent. The readers of the
New York Ledger will be disappointed when they
ind that the Rcvcrcd gentleman is not on it,
DIXON Telegraph.
But he is still" on the ragged edge" &c,
A noyelists strong Holt Felix.
Poets have all seasons for their own.
When pine trees decay, they pine away.
Ice cakes are the frosted cakes OF the season.
The most harmless of all isms is n humorism
The reins Of government are largely made Of
yed tape.
Sunday evening the street lamps shed dim,
religious light.
Base basls would not grow SO fiery if they
never had matches.
Anthony made his Mare in the world, We
don't mean Susan, now.
A Main street boy has fcon which lie says
ellon the wrong finger.
Miss Cushman is the best actress yet in the
play of Much Adicu About Nothing"
VIII our exchanges please stop abiding SCI
POLITICALLY to the Sunny South" till our cruel
cold is over?
Fine weather this, said clergyman to us
N Streator one hazy day last week 1t was so.
ine we couldn't see IL.
Lecture committees pronounce o. l.. one the
biggest guns in the field Olive is certainly
big gun for Logan.
In,- u, ~.
When we went to school they used a rattan. But
every generation grows harder.
The Nassar girls are allowed to play foot ball,
and the way some OF them kick out is topic Of
frequent discussion in the young mems mutual
improvement associations of Poughkeepsic.-Er.
Those eminent kicks will be apt to make it
lively for their future husbands They will give
them hfts in The world raise them rs it were.
The Danyille Ne'ro is getting fearfully indie
pendent Of party ties. 1t is radical republican
paper, yet its editor says: We have often spoken
in severe terms of his (Grants) official acts, and
will not hesitate to do so again"
Gracious heavngs don't; what would Grant
say If he should hear Of this:
The Beacon says some Of its contemporaries are
letting by their ears. Well, II ANYBODY wants
- get hold Of the Btacoa's ears, there Is room
md TO spare-Aur0ra Herald.
What sort OF an animal does the HcyoH take
he Beacon for, anyhow?
An Ignorant old lady was asked by minister
whiting her il she had religion. She replied: |
have slight touches of it occasionally-Er
We fear that old ladys complaint is the rule
with the majority Of mankind, not the exception.
1t doesn't look well, TO say the least, for Kan.
phurpb k,pmhpr IA hnya IN drau ant
Yolycr in order to get at his two cents for the
contribution IT.
Yes, but what is the difference about the locks
Of thing so long as it is the fashion? When in
Kansas you must do as the Kansas -ians do
The Watseka Times wants its readers to stop
Gp all the cracks. We can hardly suggest an
improvement on that short and convenient way
u spelling the word Nothing but kracks
could IN anywlse compete with it.-hdHkdke- ia.
sotiG.
Shoulder your primer, Mr. gazette, and come
DOWN here aud learn how to spell. The right
way to spell it is krar
Mrs cx-Judgc Pratt, of San Francisco sues FOR
aiyoFcc and aliutony Of slOO0OOO IT some of
me wives oil Us fellows would only sue us for di
F"rce ana mat amount, now get both and marry
"a again, what biz thing it would be for the
hmily!-St. Louis Republican.
wen consent 10 be sued for half the money
90 the above terms.
It IL stated that Brigham Young Is about to
sali q mass meeting OF all his children, SO that
'heN may be introduced to each other.
How lonesome an ordinary roast turkey, on an
NJinary dinner table, would look when sur.
-onvdcd by that little family circle
The following poetry is calculated to humillate
hC proud
The word Of fools has such store
That hG who would not see an ass
Just hide at home aud bolt the door,
Md break his looking glass
VI, Milwaukee sentinel thinks it absurd for a
Gan with a bouquet in his hand t. prosecute an
other man VII, bouquet In his hand for seduc
Ing hi vii, ith bouquet in her hand DON'T
Know bout at Vice has its roses and rap
iaTes'
Rev. Mr.. +elly OF Baltimore Is very popular.
Thprt'- HltuN. lam L., IN. cb.,r,b ,,.l,,, no