Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-08-08
WIT AND HUMOR.

ToorHPrcKs are colored at one end 81
TO guard against putting them wrong enc
first into the mouth in the dark. 1t is
good idca.--Dan6ury Nces.
A NoRwALK citizen has discovered it
lie takes the potato bug by the hind Leg
and holds him, head down, in can o.
coal oil, for twenty -four hours. ltdoesn'
kill the bug but it prevents him from eat
ing the vines during the twenty-foul
hours.-Huron Chronicle
AN old bachelor geologist was Boosting
that every rock was as familiar to him a!
the alphabet. A lady declared that SHE
knew rock of which he was ignorant
.Name II, madam" said he. TITS roci
the cradle, sir" replied the lady.
Z MAN lately made application for in
surance on building situated in village
where there was no fire-engine. He was
asked, "What are the facilities in YOU
village for extinguishing frea" "Well
it rains sometimes, y he replied, with grea'
simplicity.
CURIOUS answers often come out In ex
animation for the civil service. The WORD
inheritance" occurringin apage of read
ing, the examiner Intercepted the young
ster: "What is iniieritance2" "Patri
mony.' "What is patrimony2" "Some.
thing left by father" "What would
it be if left by motherl" "Matrimony.'
. A MILWAUKEE chap kissed his girl
about forty times right straight along,
and when he stopped the tears came into
her eyes, and she said, in sad tone Of
voice, "Ah! John, fear you have ceased
to love me-" mo, haven't" replied
John, ssbut must breathe"
BoorMAKER (who has deal of trouble
with his customer): II think, sir, if you
were to cut your corns, could find you a
pair Choleric old gentleman, "Cut my
corns, sir! / ask you to fit me a pair Of
boots to my feet, sir! I'm not going to
plane my feet down to fit your boots!'
THE late DR.. Erskine. one of the orna-
ments of the Scottish National Church,
was clergyman Of deep and earnest
piety. One day something had occurred
to irritate him, and to put him into pas
sion rather strong, so that language seemed
to be denied him for the time, Christian
ity putting curb on the refractory
tongue. The beadlerather archly queried,
'Would an aith relieve ye, sirs"
Two REASONS "Here's boy down
here who wants to lick me!' exclaimed a
bootblack as he approached policeman
on Griswold street yesterday.
"He does, eh9 What for2'
"Says / called him names, but didn't"
Are you afraid of him9"
mo, not exactly, but don't want to
fight. One reason is, promised my dy-
ing mother wouldn't, and the other rea-
son is cause he's bigger'n l am !''-Detroit
FREQ Pres.
The steamer Fanny was coming down
the upper Mississippi, loaded with pig
lead. As she was going over shoal
place the pilot gave the signal to heave
tho lead. The only man forward was a
green Irishman. "Why don't you heave
the leadl" SIS it the lead, yer honor2
Where tor "Overboard, you blockhead p
The Irishman snatched up one Of the pigs
of lead and threw it overheard; the mate,
in endeavoring to prevent him, lost his
balance, and fell into the river. The cap
tain, running to the deck, asked, "Why
don't you leave the lead and sing out how
much water there is2'' ssThe lead il
aeaved, yer honor, and the mates gone
down to see how much water there is"