Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1875-03-10
Brasserls Son Clandina

brassers Son ClaudIus.
Mr.. Brasser. who lives on Ninth ave-
nue., las a son about twelve wears old
named Claudius, and the other evening
this boy received permission to allow z
neighbor doy to stay all night with him
The old people sleep down stairs in the sit
ting room, and the boys were put n n
room directly above. When thew went
up to bed Claudius had the clothes line
under his coat, and the neighbor's bow
had a mask in his pocket. They didn't
kneel down and say their PRAYERS Gke
good boys and then jump in bed and tell
shear stories, but as soon as the door was
locked the Brasser boy remarked:
You'll see more fun around here to-
night than would lie on a ten acre lot -
From closet they brought out a cast off
suit Of Brasser's clothes, stuffed them with
whatever came handy, tied the mask and
an old straw hat on for bead. and while
ono boy was carefully y raising the window
the other was tying the clothes line around
the man. The image was lowered down
in front Of the sitting room window lift
ed up and down once or twice, and old
Brasser was heard to leap out of bed with
a great jar He was Just beginning 10
doze when he heard sounds under his
window, and his wife suggested that it
was the COW in the yard. He got IN.
pulled the curtain away, and as he be-
held a man standing there he shouted
out:
Great Bottles but its robbcr 20
and hejumped into bed.
Theodorius Brasser, are YOU a fool ,"
screamed the wife as he monopolized ali
the bed clothes to cover up his head.
Be quiet YOU old Jade you!o he
whispered perhaps he'll 90 away -
Don't call me jade - she replied
reaching over and trying to find his hair.
Git up and git the gun and blow his
head Of. p
oh! you do i'll"
'Getu you old coward 'she snapped.
'Tllne7er live with you another day if
you don't do itl'
Blasser t1rned up the lemp, sat up in
bed, and cried out:
rs that you, boys?"
Mercy on me git up" yelled the
wife as the straw man was knocked against
the window.
Ellblow his head off as clean as miIkr'
said Brasser in loud voice as he qotup.
He struck the stove three or four time .up-
set chair, and reached behind the foot Of
the bed and drew out an old army musket.
Now, then, for blood =, he continued
as he advanced to the window and lifted
the curtain.
The man was there, face close to the
glass and he had such malignant ex-
preston of couutenance that Brasser
jumped back with a cry Of alarm.
Kill him Shoot him down, YOU Old
noddle heap screamed the wife.
4 will-by thuuder ! | will - replied
Brasser, and he blazed away, and tore
out nearly all the lower sash.
The boys up stairs uttered veil and a
groan. and Brasseriumped for the win
dow to see ifthe man was down. He
wasn't He stood right there, and he
made leap at Brasser.
He's coming in l-perlice boys -
ho y perlico roared the old man.
The tattered curtain permitted Mrs
Brasser to catch sight of a man jumping
up and down, and She yelled
"Theodorius. I'm going to faintr'
.'Faintand be burned. Boys per
liceg hereplied, wolloping the sheet iron
stove with the poker.
Don't you dare talk that way to me -
-shrieked the old woman, recovering
from her desire to faint.
'.Po-leece ! Po-leece now came from
the boys up stairs, and while one contin-
ucd to shout the ether drew the man up.
tore him limb from limb and secreted the
pieces
Several neighbors were aroused. an
officer came up from the station, and a
search Of the premisesl was made. Not
so much as track IN the snow was found
and the officer put on an injured look and
said to Mr. Brasser.
A guilty conscience needs no accuser. ''
That's so, chorused the indignant
neieabors as they departed.
As Mr.. Brasser hung a quilt before
the shattered window he remarked to
his wife:
Now see what an old cundurango
YOU made Of yourself,
Don't fling any insults atme. or I'll
choke the attenuated life out Of you ~
She replied
And the boys kicked around on the he'd,
ehucked each other in theri and cried
fdrather be a boy than be President -
Ez \ careless mau went to the cellar,