Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-07-09
Gleanings.


toe.
Gleanings. - - >,
Shades of night-window curtains.
Sheet children crying in bed.
A moose paper-a marriage certificate.
The cause of woman suffrage scarcity
of husbands.
What portions of the body are the best
travelers-the two wrists.
Stamps are not required on notes; but
it takes stamps" to pay 'em.
What is that which, by losing an eye,
has only nose lett? A noise.
Some ladies, this season, wear wings
on their hats-but it doesn't make them
angels.
The hair from a ladies' braid should
never be WON on the lapel of a gentle
mans coat, unless the parties are engaged
The Rochester Democrat says that Mile
Plaster, a young French actress is coming
ovei next season. We presume all the
young fellow will be inclined to court
Plaster
1t is astonishing, says the New Orleans
Bulletin, to see how little there is of some
ladies in these days of contracted skirts.
And it is equally astonishing to see how
much there is of some others.
\ lady who gazed approving at the
nearly finished dome of the new court
house, remarked to a friend: Won't it
be splendid when they get a new justice
of the peace up there"
A young man in music shop was late
ly overpowered by fashionable young
lady, who wanted to purchase ''Mr. Hoods
-a-song of the-a-gentleman' under
garment The young man is still alive.
''On which side of the platform is my
train:' asked a stranger in Jersey City
depot the other day. "Well, my friend"
said gentleman passing, ''if you take the
left you'll be right II you take the right,
you'll be left"
Did it ever occur to you what the mean
ing of NO cards." and mo cake" ap-
pended to a marriage announcement
means? 1t is simply the exclamation of
the editor thrown in, in spiteful way. to
show that he was not remembered.
During a trial the judge called wit
ness. No one answered, an elderly man
arose and solemnly said, He is gone."--
Where has he gomez asked the judge, in
no gentle tone II don't know but he is
dead" was the guarded answer.
Holmes remarks on the wonderful pro-
visions of Nature. He says there is not
even left a narrow crevice under flat
rock without Il thin black bug prepared
by Providence to fill it. 1t is the same
way when vacancies occur in official posi-
tions.
The ridiculous female colored pusson
who remembers General Washington,
tired of the personal attention she is con-
stantly receiving, will send to a centennial
tea-party, soon to be held in New Haven,
her autograph, written for her by the old
General himself.
Carruth, the Vineland, n j., editor, re-
marksin his valedictory: 1.-TWO months
constant wrestle with bullet in our brain
has convinced US that we lack the capacity
to develop a lead mine and publish an in
dependent Nineland newspaper at the same
time"
Sir" said little, clustering man to Il
religious opponent, what sect do you sup
pose belong to-" "Well, l don't exactly
know, replied his opponent, ''but to judge
from your size, appearance and constant
buzzing, | should think you belonged to
the class generally called insect"
At meeting of Confederate soldiers
the other day in Atlanta, so many were
dubbed with titles that the following ap-
propriate resolution was introduced: Re
solved, That the president appoint a COM
mittee of one to inquire whether there
were any surviving privates of the late
war
A conductor in Burlington, Iowa, was
recently made happy by having voted to
him a badge, at public fair. Being
called upon for a speech, he was hustled
upon the platform. Looking round for
moment he calculated Tickets" and re-
tired 1t was so effective that the band
couldn't play for ten minutes.
The latest anecdote brought to light by
the Centennial celebration is rather anus
ing While the British troops were
marching through Old Cambridge, one of
them said jestingly to farmer sowing
seed: You may SOW, but we shall reap"
"Well, perhaps you may was the reply,
"for l am sowing hemp"
please, sir said boy with two bot
ties, to grocer, mother wants "a cents
>f has ~ S<Won 1x,l,:
bottle will you have it in?" "Please, sir,
she wants it in both; and won't you put
corks in 'em, and send 'em home, as I'm
going t'other way; and mother says she
haint got no cent, but you must charge
it."
Eyes, you may come again next Sunday
evening Horace, dear, but" and she
hesitated "What is it, darlings Have
given you pain?" he asked, as she still re-
mained silent "You didn't mean to, I'm
sure" she responded, "but next time
please don't wear one of those collars with
the points turned outward; they scratch
So"
A young lady on Madison avenue who
had previously led q most uneventful life
Yesterday took a short walk, in the course
of which she met the most hideOus w0-
man, wearing the loveliest dress. the dear
est duck of fellow with the sweetest
moustache, the most horrible mud-puddle,
the incest weather. and the rudest man
she had ever seen, known, or heard of.
A physician in Il country town in Massa-
chusetts, who had been annoyed by num-
erous questions concerning the condition
Of patti lent, was stopped while ON his
busy rounds by man with the old ques
ton: Flows Nh ''Slck, replied
the physician. "Does he keep his bed?"
"Of course he does; you don't suppose
he's fool enough to sell his bed because
he's sick, do you?"
''They tell tough story about a new
baggage man on one of our local tralns,"
says the Los Angeles Star. He was told
to pile up the trunks in a baggage car, and
be sure to hang the checks ON the outside.
Tho Itoral mindad vO,,th nilad nm tho