The Arizona sentinel., 1875-05-01
Ghe 9rsiona Sentinel.



Aman is said to be absent mind.
ed when he thinks he has left his
watch at home, and takes it out
of his pocket to see if he has time
to return home to get it.
81 am going to where / won't
have to cook BEANS" was the fare
we'll sentence of an Ohio woman
who left this vale of tears few
days since.
A Detroiter says he don't find
fault with the capital prize in the
Louisville lottery being reduced
to $4,000. What hurt him is the
fact that his ticket didn't draw it.
"Lines" from an obituary in
the Philadelphia Ledger,
Bring out the Grape and toll the knelE
She's dead-a lovely Lockport belle;
Her stomach failed away to get
With ninety oysters Cd bet
Thompson is not going TO ask
any more conundrums. He re-
Gently asked his wife the differ
ence between his head and a hogs
head, and she said there was none.
He says that is not the right an
SWer,
Deacon Ladue, of Wisconsin,
went to. the barn the other day
and hung himself with a long
chain because his wife playfully
kicked his hat off and exclaimed i:
"That's the kind of clothespin
/ ami"
81 tell you what" said a Hold
den widower the other night, as
he finished washing the dishes,
otis mighty solemn thing to
think that Maria Jane is down in
the cold ground, instead of being
around to churn and saw wood
and SIGH"
"ShOn," said Dutchman, "yOu
may say vat you please pout pad
.neighbors. | have had to worst
-neighber as never vas. Mine pigs
und mind hens COM home NIT
dere ears split; und fodder day
two of dem COM home missing"
How doth the little busy pig
improve each shining hour, and
gather sausages all day from every
opening flower. And when the
shades of twilight fall be SlumberS
in his stye, or sings his pretty
evening hymn. Root, little pig,
or die!'
Reading the declaration of Clara
Louise Kellogg that american
girls have the sweetest voice in
the world" a new made Benedict
remarked, thoughtfully "Well,
that's so; but their voices change
quickest of any voices in the
world after they are married.
A Chicago couple, after living
in matrimonial harmony for thir-
'ty-two years, were divorced. AT
ter two months trial they de-
cided .that single blessedness was
a myth, and were recently mar
ried again.
"See," said the sorrowing wife
show peaceful the cat and dog
are" "Yes," said the petulant
husband, shut just tie them to-
gether and then see how the fur
will fly"
"Jane, what letter in the al
phabet'do you like best?" "Well,
1 don't like to say, Mr.. Snobbs."
"Pooh! nonsense! tell right out,
Jane. Which do you like best"'
swell, (blushing and dropping
her eyes,, l like (u) the BEST"
Mrs. Col. Schemebly, of Wash
ington county, Md, celebrated |
the 102d anniversary of her birth
day on Monday of last week. She |
is still enjoying excellent health, |
and bids fair TO live several years
yet.-HdgerStOWR Mail.
"My real number is six. but
my hand will stand squeezing"
is what she said to the young
man at the glove counter. And
the great thick headed lunatic got
her pair of five and half gloves
without finding out how much
her hand would bear.
We Weuld have worked at that
Job an hour, but she should have
had an exact fit.
"What shalt We do with our
daughters" inquiries Mrs. Liver
more, and a western editor-an
.inhuman wretch replies: off
they are like their motherS-wear
false hair, corset, and high heeled
shoes powder and paint-wring
their necks at once"
HE WAS THROUGH.-Saturday
morning at one o'clock the police
found horse and cutter coming
in from the country on the Pontiac
road, with the driver so nearly
frozen that he was Topped over on
the seat and unconscious. He [
xyaS takeultO the station, and they