The tribune. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1875-03-10
Items OF Interest.

Items or Interest.
No other living thing can go SO slow
on an errand as boy.
The American eagles of Texas county,
No., have been stealing sheep.
People who are always wanting some
thing new should try neuralgia.
Poor men and hens are obliged to
scratch to get along in this world.
The saying, "excuse haste and bad
pen," has been attributed to pig who
ran away from home.
A soft answer turneth away wrath, but
we lose our patience with people who are
continually asking soft questions.
If you want to get an idea how the
Brooklyn court room looks during the
Beecher trial, look at box of sardines.
The man who makes will these days
is only paving the way for the court to
pronounce him fool or lunatic after
his death.
The other day Buffalo man named
Farthing married young girl whose
mother, although quite wealthy, wouldn't
give her assent.
An Illinois farmer, who has fourteen
children and healthy wife, says that
the bottom of the potato bin seems made
of India rubber.
"The great need of Cairo" said
capitalist after being taken over the town,
"is fine tooth comb factory, with re-
tail store in connection"
A young lady in neighboring town is
engaged to be married to q gentleman
named Homer Place; and you can Judge
for yourself whether she thinks "there's
on Place like Homer" not.
A gentleman, who was formerly an
officer in the Coldstream guards, was
brought up at the Southwick Nondon)
police court recently on the charge of
having stolen an umbrella, and was
committed for trial.
A matter f-fact doctors wife attempt
ed to move him by her tears. "Ah !"
Said he, "tears are useless. have ana
lyzed them. They contain little
phosphate of lime, some chlorate of
sodium and water"
Neenah wants some one to discover a
lead mine in that vicinity, to bring down
the price of the metal. A policeman
there has been shooting at a mad dog
for three weeks and the city has to
furnish the material.
A New York editor, says an exchange,
is engaged to marry foreign princess.
She will not lose caste ny the match. for
the young editor is of noble blood him
self. He is a count, one Of the old
original line of Noah Counts.
A very flexible temperance pledge is
this, which is circulated among Boston
fashionable ladies: I promise that no in
toxicating liquor shall be used in this
house for cooking purposes, and in sick
ness, that it shall be given conscien-
tiously.
1t rarely happens that death occurs
ut q funeral. Mr.. Symonds, of Saugus,
Mass, was seized with apoplexy while
attending the funeral of friend, and
died instantly. He had celebrated the
fortieth anniversary of his wedding the
night previous.
London street thieves steal the fur
trimming from ladies' sacks. Going be-
hind lady with q sharp knife they cut
the fur down just at the center of the
back, and then, giving quick tug with
each hand, tear off as much fur as will
come off Mt one pull.
A gentleman passing across the play
ground of a public school was affronted
| by the boys, and was advised to COM
plain to the principal, which he did:
"I have been abused by some rascals
of the place, and I came to acquaint
you of it, as 1 understand you are the
principal"
A Milford IN. H. boy was charged
with stealing a gold pen, pleaded guilty,
and was sent to the reform school. A
young girl has since been detected steal
ing from the same store, and the identi-
cal pen which the boy was said to have
stolen was found in her possession. The
boy is to be pardoned.
Economy in business matters is now
the rule. The head of firm observing
one of his men lettering about lately
said: "John, times are 30 dull we shall
have to lay you off awhile. Stay around
and we will give you job work at the
usual rate, forty cents an hour" John
stayed he got about eight hours day
job work, right along, and he thanks his
employer for doing what he did to him
for his wages before were only 81. 70 per
day. Moral: Let well enough alone.