The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1875-06-29
"HELL's CONTRIvANCE."
secret ary RObesOn's Invention for
AnnihiIating Hostile Nayies-


sons "Helrs Contrivance' to blow up
all the navieS of the world? Don't let
this startling name for it overcome You.
The contrivancc is q fixed fact As
weapon of naval warfare, and puts Dave
Porter torpedo boat, the Alarm, entirely
in the shade. This marvellous engine OF
destruction, especially intended to blow
up the monster ironclads OF England
France and spain, Is the latest invention
Of that illustrious mariner, the Secretary
OF the Navy. Robson, You must
know, has been giving his great mind
almost exclusively for several years to
the perfection of this viIIlanous ma
chine. And now he is having 1t built ut
the Washington Navy Yard, about the
only work the mechanics in that yard
are doing.
just here let me say that the rotund
Secretary means to demonstrate to the
naval powers OF the world, through tins
Internal machine, that great war can
be carried on with very small amount
of money, and that they may Just ~
well stop building armor-clad ships, gun
boats and floating batteries general lily.
Robson claims for the contrivance, not
only that il is a terrible engine OF war
but that il will benefit mankind general
", inasmuch, rs ir' the near future all
the fighting will be done under water.
Having heard good deal about the
d.yilish thing, | recently bent my way
10 the navy yard, where | happened 10
find nv friend. old Foam, in II taikatIve
mood. Now, everybody about the yarU
knows Foam. He is the most loquaciou'
man ashore or afoat, sort Of good-na-
tur,d cross between an old fashioned
bo.,.wain and modern pilot. lie
knows everything about the yard except
the length of time he has served IN 1t.
Foam" said /, Foam, it Is SAID OF
Won that YOU know everything
"Somc,ime.," interrupted Foam, his
mouth wide open. .
Don't be too rapid, Foam, SAID l.
"Lieuterant Commander Pearson, the
man Queen Victoria wanted to benight,
sent me to YOU
Devil YOU say interrupted Foam,
eloncating his fat tongue and winking
suggcstiyely.
And he said, / resumed, "JuSt say
Hclr> Cuntrivance to Foam and he will
show YOU something that will astonish
YOU"
"Oh. YES. that means me, again inter-
rupted Foam. He means the machine
that the Secretary has invented to blow
them blasted Englishmen' and French
men, ships to thunder with. Lord, sir,
what heapo' killing that machine II
do when the Secretary gets 1t agon
And. touching my elbow, ne led the way
timidlv to the door Of the boilershop and
paused. He reminded me Of Chnaman
about to enter II joss house. Then, pac
ing his hand on the latch and shaking
/ his head doubLtully, "Wilson don t like
| to let outsiders see it, said he.
"Who's Wilson, inquired.
"Master Machinist, he whispered,
motioning his left hand.
THE FUTURE TERROR OF THE SEAS.
Never mind Wilson-go ahead
Foam" said l, and he opened the door,
we entered, and there upon a huge pile
OF blocks stood Robson Internal ma
chine
BLOW 'em up, send EN- all to thunder,
play the devil with them ginerally-
that machine will, said Foam pointing
up at it with an air of satisfaction.
| inquired of Foam who gavcit such
an awful name "The boys Of the yard.
Couldn't think Of any better name to
give it.
Now, this terrible machine is made of
q 80 a,lt l.,1I NJ Il
OF II chamber ~ feet long, II feet &
inches high and feet wide inside and
Inside. The two feet wide hollow sides
are divided into water tight compart-
mcuts to be USED in raising or lowering
the machine. The bottom is made OF
several courses of plate iron well screw
ed together in the most elaborate manner
and rounded Mt the ends after the man
ner of canal boat. About four feet
from the bottom in front there IS double
acting cncascd door about three feet
square The whole thing is double
riveted and put together in the most
substantial manner. On this tioor gun
carriage with an eleven inch gun will be
placed, the muzzle protuding through
the inner door, which Is packed with
India rubber. OF course the object Is
to discharge the gun under water and
thus destroy the enemy.
After examining the Internal machine
for nearly two hours, came to the con-
clusion that it WAS a magnificent invcn-
tion for squandering the peoples money.
As to blowing up an cnemy's ship with
il the idea is the most absurd imagiua-
hlc. Foam's description Of how the
machine Is to be used Is about the best
that can be given.
HOW THE NEW THING WORKS.
"You've got to finish the thing first,
said Foam. Then you have got to put
II ON wheels, YOU see, and get it down
To the wharf. Then YOU have got TO
sling it midships, lift it with der
rick, and get 1t shipboard. Destination,
Newport Rhode Island. Then You put
the eleven inch guns in it, loaded, get II
between two stout tugs and wait till you
see the enemy bearin down. Here
ro oam paused, as lfto take breath.
GU sees them air." he resumed,
pointing to anumber of huge iron rings
attached to the upper rim. Them's
IugS: You tasten your lowering chains
to them lugs.
But Foam" l interrupted, Won said
the Secretary had invented this Internal
machine to do away with ships altogeth
er. And here You have the necessity Of
two stout tugs to get the thing in posi-
tion"
Blast my buttons" resumed Foam,
''if that isn't where the Secretary made
muss of It. Damn me ifthat ism where