The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-05-06

I'VE made bit OF mistake. l wanted
to 60 to Easthampton, Mass, and have
bought a ticket for East Hampton,
Cbhn." "Why didn't you buy the right
ticketf" said the conductor. swell, I
saw the two of them, but the one to
East Hampton, Conn.,, was the cheapest,
and SO bought that one"
-"D'sease is very various,n said Mrs.
Partington, as she returned from the
street door after conversation with DR..
Bolus. "The doctor tells me that poor
old Mrs. Hare has got two bunkles on
her lungs! 1t is dreadful to think of,
declare. The disease is so various. One
day we hear of people dying Of hermit
tage of the lungs; another day, of the
brown creatures; here they tell US of the
elementary canal being out of order, and
there about tonsors of the throat; here
we hear of neurology in the head, there
of embargo; on one side of US we hear of
men being killed by getting pound of
tough beef in the sarcophagus, and here
another kills himself by discovering his
ocular vein. Things change so that I d.
clare don't know how to subscribe for
any disease nowadays. New names and
new nostrils take the place of the old,
and l might as we'll throw my herb-bag
away"
The Troy Times says: Hermann,
the celebrated magician, was married re-
Gently. And his wife doesn't have to get
up at daylight to 60 to market. When
she wants q dozen of eggs she simply
hands her husband the empty eeg.bag
and he produces them by slei ght-of.
hand; then he cooks an omelette in q
borrowed hat and converts q can of saw
dust into that much white sugar, and
similar cups filled with Clipped pa
per is changed into hot coffee; then he
takes the same hat, stirs up its empti.
ness with magic wand, and, presto,
change! out comes loaf of bread, a
fresh shad, two pickles, one pie, bucket
of coal, a dish of hash, with natural
hairs in it, and half dozen knives and
forks. This is much cheaper than going
to market. Blu: Mrs. Hermann is not
happy. When her husband wants a gold
dollar he mysteriously picks it off the
end of his wife's nose, and she is dissat-
isfied because she can't perform that trick
herself"
The following nice little story ap-
pears in scientific column of the New
York Tribune: 1.-The case is mentione d
Of an American sailor who died in Guys
Hospital, London, post norton examina-
ton OF whose body showed that his dis
ease was due to his repeated exploits of
| swallowing knives, from the effects of
which he had been sick for three years.
The first time he swallowed fourteen
knives, became sick, but recovered, and
commenced again, betting from time to
time on his bravadO exploits. While on
an English ship he swallowed seventeen
knives in two successive days; but this
appears to have been too much, and after
long suffering he died. Fourteen of the
knives were found in his stomach, but
strange to say, partly digested, the iron
parts as well as the horn handles. The
stomach itself was not at all injured
He had good appetite to the last, anC
his sickness and death were alone caused
by the haft of large knife becoming i'm
movably fixed across the intestines."
"A party by the name of Gunnison en-
joyed brief but satisfactory notorlety i1
Denver few days ago. Gunnison is sale
to belong to that large and impecuniou:
class of men g born tired" and has hith
erto occupied no high position in thu
social scale. Gunnison, however, cal
get excited in an argument occasionally
anu recently IN dispute over the labO
of hod carrying offered to do that kline
OF work whole day for two dollars. III,
offer was accepted and he was set a
work. The contractor for sport told tn,
proprietor and guests OF prominen
hotel that Gunnison was a millionair,
who was carrying the hod just for tn,
novelty of the thing, and large Grove
soon assembled to see the wealthy gen
tleman at work. At dinner-time the pro
prietor of the hotel invited Gunnison t.
dinner, where he was supplied grati
with the best of everything and lionizet
generally. When evening arrived tn,
millionaire laid his hod aside amid tn,
plaudits of an admiring audience, bu
the truth soon leaked out and then hi
remarkable popularity was gone. Pos
sibly the sweets of such days worl
may affect the man with something of
regard for honest labor.