Knoxville Whig and chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1875-1882, 1875-05-05
How Mr.. Coffin Spelled it.

The other evening old Mr.. and Mrs.
Coffin, who live on Brush street, sat in their
cosy oack parlor, he reading his paper and
she knitting, and the family cat stretched
out under the stove and sighed and felt
sorry for cats not so well fixed 1t was
happy, oontented household, and there was
love in his heart as Mr.. Coffin put down
the newspaper and remarked:
see that the whole country is becom-
ing excited about spelling schools
We'll, it's good to know how TO SPELL"
replied the wife. Il didn't have the chance
some girls had, but pride myself that 1
can spell almost any word that comes
along"
Pm see about that" he laughed /;
come, now, spell buggy"
Humph that's nothing-b-u-g-g.y
buggy" she replied.
Missed the first time-hal haw he
roared, slapping his leg.
" Not much-that was right"
1t was, Ell? Well, I'd like to see any
body get two z in buggy, | would"
But it is spelled with two g's and any
school-boy will tell you SO, she persisted.
We'll, l know durn sight better than
that" he exclaimed, striking the table
with his fist"
Il don't care what you known she
squeaked; " | know that there are two g's
in buggy"
DO you mean to tell me that I've for
gotten how to spell ?" he asked.
1T looks that way"
at does, Ell Well, want you and all
your relations to understand that l know
more about spelling than the whole capoo-
die of you strung on wire
And | want you to understand, iona
than Coffin, that you are an ignorant old
block-head, when you don't put two g's in
the word buggy-yes you arep'
Don't talk that way to mep he warn
ed.
And don't shake your fist at met" she
replied.
"Who's a-shaking his fst?n
You were %
That's le-an Internal iel"
Don't call me liar, you old bazaar
I've put up with your meanness for forty
years past but don't call me liar, and
don't lay hand on me !"
Do you want divorce?" he shouted
springing up you can go now, this min'
ute !"
- Don't spit in my face-don't you dare
/ do it, or IN make dead man of you l'
she warned.
Il haven't spit in your freckled old
visage yet, but may if you provoke me
/ fartherW
Who's got a freckled face, you old tur'
| key-buzzard ?'
I That was little too much. He made q
motion as if he would strike, and she seized
! him by the neck-tie Then he reached out
and grabbed her right ear and tried to liit
her of her feet, but she twisted up on the
neck-tie until his tongue ran out,
Let go of me, you old fend :" she
screamed.
cit down on yer knees and beg my
pardon, you old wildcat !" he replied.
They surged and swayed and struggled
and the peaceful cat was struck by tn,
overturning table and bad her back broken
while the clock fell down and the pictures
danced around. The woman finally shut
her husbands supply of air off and Topped
I him, and as she bumped his head up anC
down on the floor and scattered his gray
hairs, she shouted
You want to get up another spelling
school with me, don't your
He was seen limping around the yart
yesterday, a stocking pinned around hi
throat and she had eourt-plaster on he
nose and one finger tied up, He wore tn
look of martyr, while she had the bear
ing of victor, and from this time GU
buggy" will be spelled with two g's il
that house.