The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-04-22
Jenkins in Nevada.

The fashion reporter of an Austin City,
Nevada, paper describ. the belle of thu
masquerade ball in the following astound
ing language:
The most gorgeous, stunning high
toned, richest. frstestclassest, incest
I or any other adjective for costume-in
the outfit was that worn by Miss
frankie Clarke. She was the hifalutin
est. gayest and galuset- dressed gal in the
room. She appeared in the room as a
page, and she was page that any man
would leave another to read. Both in
costume and action she was as perfect as
big sun flower"
A couple of days after the appearance
of the notice, into the editorial room Of
the paper stalked young man. His
brow was wrapped in thunder, his bod!
in suit of tweed, and his hand clasped a
big lump of hickory lie pulled paper
out of his pocket and pointing his finger
to this paragraph, said: Il want to see
the man as wrote that ere" Il am
the Individual" replied the person
What did yer go and do it for. that's
wat / want to know ?" 20, because
thought you would like to see your girl
made out one of the most bewItching
females that was ever set on earth to
keep a man from his hash and drive
balniy sleep from his pillow" Now.
look here. Ever since that was publish
ed l can't get word out on her. She
sets in front of the looking glass and
. keeps gain on herself, and maxim
squint eyes at her dress. and puckel in
up her mouth, and actin as if she were "A
blasted sight better'n any body else.
want this ere thing fixed or there will be
an editors situation vacant" He looked
siUOi a1,h For t1rOmppt
the reporter stood in profound thought;
then his face frightened, and he said /:
"I'Il fix it in the next weeks paper.
After you have seen the next issue, call
and tell me the result The young man
left. In the next week paper appeared
the following paragraph:
CORRECTION.
I'VE made grave mistake in our issue
of last week. In our description of the
masquerade ball. we accidentally substi-
tutedthe name of Miss frankie Clarke
for that of Miss Georie Walker Any
one who is acquainted with the first
named lady must have discovered the
error. 1t is true she appeared in what
was intended for page. but she looked
good deal more like a boot black in
hard luck. She is not good looking,
her actions were absurd, and every man
in the room kept as far from her as pos
sible She thinks of moving out of this
community, as it is unappreciative.
When she goes she will be escorted out
of the town by brass band. The peo
pie of Austin will gladly miss her from
among them"
The next day the young man entered
the Office. In his hand he bore a
rifle, and his belt was ornamented with a
big six,shooter and a tremendous bowie
kniie. He sailed up to the reporter. 81
look warlike, don't L? l don't feel bit
like fghtin,' you bet. You jest oughter
have seen her when she read that cor
rection. Why she danced jig with
madness, and she sot down and cried,
and then she come up and threw her
arms around my neck, and said Ar
thur, do you love meY You bet your
best bonnet on that said l. We'll, new
er expect me to speak to you again il
you don't 20 and kill the felIer wat writ
that SANDER In course l promised
And here am to kill you" He laughed
long and heartily. After time he
quieted down, and the reporter said:
81 suppose, in order to make il all right
between you and your girl, I've got to
become corpse. I'll do it. Sit there
minute and I'll fix the business" He
sat down at desk, and scribbled away
for a few minutes, and then returned
with sheet Of paper on which was writ
ten:
OBITUARY.
at grieves us to be compelled to an
nounce the sudden death of Mr. Charles
Keller, the young and talented fashion
editor. In a moment of mental aberra-
ton he had slandered an estimable, ac-
complished and beautiful young lady of
this city, named Miss Fannie Clarke
Yesterday her betrothed called at this
Office and asked for the author of the
SANDER and when he discovered him,
shot HIM dead on the spot. This paper
will be unable to give fashionable gossip
hereafter. We find it impossible to fill
the place left vacant by Mr.. Keller
Though erratic, he was man of kindly
heart, and could listen more attentively
to stale stories, and drink more bad
whiskey than any other man in Austin"
RIP
That's your sort" said the infurated
lover. That's the thing to T. Come
along Mr.. Corpse. and hist little light
ming" The lady was satisfied with the
paragraph which appeared in the next
issue of the paper, her lover was regarded
as a hero. and the Austin pap ceased to
give renorts of fashionable halls