Smyrna times., 1875-08-18
For the SmgIl,o Times
The Witness.

Tor this paper.
A gentleman having very fine litter of
pigs, was one day visited by his minister,
who, seeing these promising little porkers,
desired one. The gentleman not only
granted his request but insisted on his
choosing the enc that would please him
most. fat piggy was picked out from
the rest, to be sent on the morrow to the
minister, who would prepare a pen for its
reception and comfort. The gentleman's
servant was an lrshman, who, with the
proverbial laundering of llis countrymen,
had also their proverbal wit. TO Patrick's
care the young pig was intrusted, being put |
in Il bag, that it might he the moro easily |
and gently carried. Patrick swung the |
bag and pig over his shoulder and started |
for the minister's. On the road was II pub
lie house, and he could not pass it without
at least salutation. SO, dcpoSiting his
bag and its contents on tie porch, he went |
in 10 get drink. Here he found those
who detained him not unwillingly. a wag, |
opening the bag and seeing the pig, de
termined to play joke on the lrisllman.
so, quietly taking the pig out, he put Il
small dog in and fastened the bag. After
while Pat came out, picked up the bag |
and pup, and III due time arrived at the |
minister's house. Mr.. -, I've brought
your pic Very well, Patrick; bring
him back into the yard and Put him in the
pen" Arriving at the pen Pat unloosed the
string, and taking the bag at the bottom,
shook out what he supposed was a pig,
when, 10! an behold, it was ii pup. The
lriShm4n'S eyes stare in wonder and almost
fear. "What is this that you have brought
me- asks the minister. "A pig" answers
Pat why this is not pig but IL dog.
IL tell you it is pig" replies Pat. =
know ii is n0:! says the minister, 'and, rs
don't want amy dogs, just take this back
where you got it," Patrick did as he was
bidden, and trudscd homewagtl with the
dog, greatly puzzled. Coming to the hotel
again, he must 20 in and get something to
help him clear up the mystery. The wag
is on the watch and now takes out the dog
and puts in the pig. Pat, not knowing OF
the change, carries the pig back to his
master. His master asks: why did you
bring back the pig? Did Mr.. - refuse
pig Not pig? Why you must have
been drinking! Come, let me sect And,
Opening tie bag, there was the pig, at
first Pat, insisting that it was dog,
finally replied to his masters questions
with-"AIl | know, sir. i. that he IS pig at
Logaf bit Il jnp oLrooi.''
| can find you a young man who is
another genus abroad from what he is at
home indeed his actions are 80 different
that were it not that he retained his
features you would not recognize him. At
home he Is Il cross, >ullen. disagrccable
fellow. His mother and sisters are his
slaves to wait on him, and his younger
brothers fear him. When night comes he is
50 fatigued with doing nothing all daSs
that ie is not able to put away his clothing,
or to arrange any thing that he has used,
but drops it anywhere. Every room in the
house that he frequents tells 10y its disorder
that the young lord has been there. lie
rarely does any of the family kind action,
and the only one that escapes his bullying
is his father, whom he esteems highly
because of his muscular Development. Why |
know one of these beauties who threw six
shirts, one after another down stairs
because they did not suit his refined taste
and I've heard of another who compelled
his sisters to carry the coal for his sO-called
study. But see this young man after
he leaves the door step. He gives one
more tr to his crayat, runs his fingers
gently through his hair, and banishes the
home scowl for a smile of heavenly lowell
ness. BY the time he reaches her house
home has been entirely forgotten, and she
pronounces him "the sweetest, deares
fellow in the world" If Pat had taker
him to her in bag and then carried hin
back again to his mother and sisters, hc
would have said ga pig at hOme, but a p1]
oJroad." This man will make one of thu
worst of husbands Home will then b,
where she is, and his wife will receive tn,
same treatment as he bestowed on hi
mother and sisters. If any one knows o
such character in this town send me hi
name or description that | may publish
as a warning to the fair ones and thereb
save one of them from miserable Marie
life. He is all smiles and sweetness to yo
hut &c ha ic a min n JoT1S fOLc he 3cH IN,
be a pup at home after you are married
But / know a young lady (she is a grea
exception) who is a sloven at home.
YOU should drop in on her some mOrnin
YOU would think her the kitchen mai
rather than the beautiful, seraph-like ere;
ture whom you admired 80 much a fe
hours before, and you would hardly believ
that that shrill. cross voice was the sam
that warbled so gently and feelingly only
little while ago. Oh, there are many youn
ladies, possibly some in this town, who pa
the days in the greatest uncomfort, wit
nothing to occupy their heads or the
hands They either doZe away the hOu
till dressing time or exc out an eXistent
over a highly favored novel, or max
every body else as uncomfortable as the
with their winnings, groanings, scoldini
and cryings. After certain hour in Il
afternoon they become metamorphOset
they are not what they were. The woT
phaze of this changeableness-one thing
home and another abroad-is, that if n
cured before marriage, it is not likely to
after; so that he who gets for wife one
these singular creatures who can in
moment change themsclycs-froma a de
to an angel-will learn that the anl
nature hardly ever gets across his doorstt
except it be assisted by some OF l.
fashionable friends. You will not thi
me too severe. These persons are sketch
from life. and did not have much trout
or go far to get subjects.
THE BEEcHER-TILTON NAsTINEss TO BE
,,Ivpn Ix XARIETY or EnpMs Il