Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-06-12
THE TRIALS OF A BACHELOR.


Happy manF' he's often said to him
self, after witnessing some Of those COO
ing peccadilloes that often occurred
among his married friends.
i" Miserable mani no home! no one
to care for him!" said his married
friends, who secretly envied Sloper and
his independence.
So one after another aimed to make
Sloper forget his misery, by giving him
something to do for their families.
"Sloper, old boy" said his friend,
Joe Badger, I'm obliged to leave home
for week-going up to Carbondale to
look after my coal interests. Mollie's
an awful coward, and last night she
took on fearful, relating to me all the
burglaries, assassinations, etc., that had
taken place on this side of town for
over year. After she had concluded
with the sumner that she knew she,
and Robbie, and jamie would be muir
dered in cold blood while I was away,
and I'd be only too glad, I proposed
that we ask you to come and stay at
nights you know, kind make it your
home till come back. And I tell you
Mollie's got good heart; she just
jumped at it, for she said it would be
doing two poor mortals real service
protecting her, and giving that poor old
bach Sloper taste of home life, which
he must be pining for. See, Sloper 2
You go right in among them, you know;
and to you, shut up in your own suit of
rooms, why it will be like giving you
peep into Paradise -eh, old boy ?"
Sloper, from the look of his face, evil
IDENTIFY thought he was in no hurry for
that !" peep;" but what could he do +?
Only avow himself too happy to accom-
modate his friends, and feel grateful for
their thoughtfulness of him.
"Then it's settled that you'll come
tomorrow evening? leave at noon"
Certainly certainly, Joe - I'll be
on hand"
"Of course you will, old boy! Risk
you losing such treat as that"
And Badger left him, laughing mer-
rily; but it sounded to old bach Sloper
quite sardonic, as if he was awful glad
to give him the chance.
The night that Sloper was to act the
role of protector came, and with it our
friend appeared, at dinner-hour, at
Badgers home.
Mrs. Badger was neatly dressed; the
babies had clean faces and bibs; the
hearth was nicely swept; and Sloper
, confessed to himself that it was quite
realization of dream he once had.
AT supper, Robbie was perched in his
high chair, alongside of Sloper; Inez,
the baby, opposite, with her mother.
Sloper eyed the high chair arrangement
askance, but said nothing. He served
the food, giving Robbie potato and a
large slice from the roast.
Robbie looked at the potato, and then
at Sloper; and as he set his cup of
coffee at his side, Robbie took the po-
tato and doused it in, bespattering Slo-
per's face and shirt-fsont profusely.
Mrs. Badger laughed and said:
"Why, Robbie, the gentleman won't
be pleased if you do so. J"
At that, the meat few across the
table, hitting baby under the chin, and
she gave chin-music in profundo.
&c You see, Mr.. Sloper, Joe always
prepares Robbie's food, and he took its
being set whole before him an insult. ]
should have told you."
(" Yes; It would have been as well, !"
said Sloper, eyeing his spotted bosom,
and quietly went on eating.
One mouthful swallowed, and over
came Robbie's milk into his lap, with q
yell:
Mamma, he's O bad man; gives
Robbie nothing to eat! want papa!
Bad man, go home! Papa!"
And the baby echoed: " Papa! and
they both began crying.
Mrs. Badger, asking " to be excused" /"
took them both up stairs, and Sloper
finished his dinner to the distant refrain
of " Supperr' "Eatp' and Papa!'
Mrs. Badger came down in about an
hour, cleared away the dinner, and
asked Sloper il he " would listen to the
children while she went out to do some
marketing ?'' said she always left Bad
ger that way. .,s
What could Sloper say hut Yes?
After little, Mrs. B. informed him
she would leave the doors open through,
and if they cried, he'd please go up for
fear they'd fall out of bed.
Simultaneously with the click OF the
gate came o scream, "Papa come
homep' -sN
Sloper sat still, hoping it was sleepy
vision, but double scream startled him,
and up stairs he rushed, to see two lit
tie night-capped heads fronting the
door, and as they spied him, the yells
they gave would have honored Modoc
brave. .
He spoke soothingly to them, and
they yelled the louder.
Poor Sloper! Visions Of his own
quiet rooms, his easy-chair and pipe,
mingled with Badger at his ease, in q
snug berth of sleeping-car, fitted be-
fore him, and just then pop went the
baby on the floor, on the for side of the
bed, in its efforts to get out of view OF