Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-07-01
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

Wonderful coincidence-all his victims
say the same thing.
No, DON'T you do it. If you are court
img a woman and she talks about your
settling $4,000 on her, you just settle
yourself out o. that.
IT'S naught when woman humbugs man,
For that's the good old style;
But OH mans confidence in man
Makes countless thousands smile.
For midsummer use, the pretty linen
lawns are the sweetest and coolest They
arc found in imported stripes, cross-bars
and large plaids, to suit all tastes.
A SENIOR thus describes his unsuccess-
full attempt to gain the attention of a
young lady: I" wanted to see her ever so
much, but some old fellow rushed in
ahead, and there | was eliminated by sub
siiiution'
HALF hog apiece is what the hog-crop
of this country will come to if divided up
fairly among us-leaving out the young
infants Anyone wishing our half hog
can have it by merely inclosing one dol
lar, etc.-BUtaJO Courier.
WHEN Detroit sign painter gets to
work there is no stopping him. He
says: Groceries provisions sugars teas
oils Goldfish starch the nimble sixpence is
cur motto we can't be undersold if you
don't see what you want ask for it."
No, GENTLEMEN of the jury" thun-
Gercd an eloquent advocate the other day
i'm Denver court, this matter is for His
Honor to decide, who sits there sleeping
So beautifully" His Honor opened both
eyes and mouth, and said: "All owing to
your narcotic speech, sir"
He leaned on the fence pouring out
Warm vows of love and admiration to the
lovely being on the other side. 1t was
dark We could not see her face, but she
said & Pray desist You are too vacil-
hating. Only a week ago you told that
same story three doors below here" They
parted
III a man wishes to cruelty lacerate the
Feelings Of an acquaintance, he remarks
!" a COW would regard your feet with com
placency," and upon being questioned
why ne answers: Because she would
see at glance that her hide would not
have TO be cut down very much to make
shoes for them"
Two PERSONS were once disputing so
loudly on the subject of religion that they
awOke a big dog which had been sleeping
ON the hearth before them, and he forth
with barked most furiously. An old di-
vine present, who had been quietly sip
ping his tea while the disputants were
talking, gave the dog kick and ex-
claimed: Hold your tongue, you silly
brute! you KNOW no more about it than
4hey do
A MACHINE for writing spoken words
has been invented by NJ. H. Huppinger.
THE Revue Industr5e5Je describes the ma
chine as being about the size Of the hand.
lit is put in connection with the vocal or
gains, the instrument recording their move
ments upon a moving band of paper in dots
and dashes. The person to whom the in
strument is attached simply repeats the
words of the speaker after him inaudibly.
This llp language is then faithfully writ
ten out.-Ne1o York Herald.
By an order from the Postoffice Depart
ment separate pouches for registered let
ters viii soon be placed on all the princi-
pal mail routes in the country. This will
be Invaluable assistance to the mail rob-
bers. Heretofore they have been obliged
TO carry off bags of unremunerative
letters and with much care and toll
FISH out the letters that had money in
9hem Thus doth benefcent Govern
Nent extend its benefactions over all its
subjects. Detroit Tribune.
A MEXICAN bandit was recently shot
and killed near Lone Pine, Inyo County,
G'Nl The I" Investigating Committee
which went out to discover the cause OF
the robbers death made a report, which
the Inyo Independent says was as follows
alone Pine, Inyo County, Cal, May 20,
1S55-We, the undersigned members, who
were sent by the Committee of Six to in
vestigate and find all particulars regard
ing the killing of the Mexican, do find
that the man was one of the robbers OF
bandits, and that his name was Jose Maria
Guerro; that we found him in the canon
described and that we buried him accord
ing to Hoyle."
THERE is young colored woman in
Oskaloosa who has strange history, il
She story told by herself and friends be
true She is called Maggie Adams, and
is about seventeen years of age. Until
recently she had lived with family by
the name of Allen, in the south part OF
this county, who came from Missouri te
Kansas. During all the years since the
war she has been in state of slavery, re-
ceiying nothing for her work, being com
PEELED to do washing, etc, for various
families, allowed no books or oppOrtuni
lies for learning, and kept in ignorance O
the fact that she was no longer a slave
She was kept so jealousy guarded tina
she knew nothing whatever of the aboli
zion of slavery, and was enlightened anC
her release procured by young coloreG
man who somehow learned the facts anC
went To work to have her set Of liberty