Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-02-17
ClifnneYs.
Rutland (Vt.) Day Globe

III Vermont. Nor yet those modern
denominations, the other extreme in
chimney architecture, an oblong brick
box stuck on end upon plank stills in
the garnet, one extremity protrud-
ing through the roof, and the other re-
ceiving the pipes that meander their
conflagration inviting way from
lower floors through ceilings
and partitions, exciting the Won
der of all sensible people not that now
any Of them remain unconsumed. Nor
do we refer to sheet-iron chimneys,
cylindrical, lanky, rusty, and sur
mounted with caps in great variety,
from the plain, suspended-pail- cover
style to the ambitious vane which helps
the chimney to draw by pointing out
the way Of the wind, or continually re-
volving rotary air-pumps tnat seem en-
gagged like some men, in tireless effort
to raise the wind in the form of a draft
by suction. ..-.
| The chlmneys we mean are those
whose name Qike woman's poetry is
fraility. You buy them at the store
any store will do. They all keep them
it takes them all to supply the demand.
German student" "sun burner" or
"the old kind" you take your choice
and pay your money. The clerk grin
ming says: "Better take half Dozen"
You vince little, and will remember
his remark again by and by with more
wincing and worse temper.
~ Take it up tenderly
Lift it with care" .
Be sure you have good hold of It,
lest it slip from the wrapping before
you reach the door; and when the crash
OF the smash resounds through the
store you will receive all that tender
sympathy which is ever accorded to one
who when walking on slippery places
suddenly lies down to an involuntary
course of astronomical study.
But sometimes you reach your home
with whole chimney. AS you pass it
to your wife saying, Heres that CHM
ney,' a burden of responsibility rolls
from your shoulders, and you apply
yourself to perusal Of the Globe with all
that peace which accompanies the salts
factory completion of difficult work.
But the wife feels differently. She
scans it with feeling compounded of
distrust and despair, and wonders where
it will break. She burns it an evening
without Washington "they say" that
will prevent fractures Or she gets on
the kettle, fills it with cold water, and
putting in the chimney sets it over the
ire until the water boils, when it is set
! off to cool-an annealing process war
ranted to neutralize all potential ten
denotes to break which may lie hidden
in the vitreous molecules.
Or, as is more likely, having found
that all chimney cracking representatives.
are like Mrs. Partington's signs, cal
ways sure some tines, she carefully
washes 'the thing and if it does not
break in the operation she fits it on the
burner and feels relieved until
Evening lets nights curtain down,
And pins it with star"
when new risks must be run in the
lamp-lighting process. These safely
passed, immersed in dressing gown and
the last novel, OF it may be half asleep
over some better book, you are sudden
ly recalled to consciousness by sharp
crack, followed by jingle of falling
glass; Little screams from the wife and
girls, while the boys, with presence Of
mind sustained by their natural instinct
of destructiveness shout, "There goes
another chimney"
Yes, ''another p You dare not think
how many figures in row it would
take to translate that word "another"
into a known quantity. You simply
add it to the ever absorbing X, and
while the fragments that are lost are
being gathered up to be thrown out,
you wish you could have chance to
elbow up" the glass blowers that blow
these self-cracking chimneys.
O, the door bell rings. Lamp in
hand you open the door to welcome the
coming guest; but the cool current OF
air rnshes in impertinently in advance
of your caller, kisses the hot cheek of
your chimney, which, in a passion at
the insult, literally flies to pieces, and
you are left in smoky darkness. In
carrying a lamp up stairs or across the
room you incline to bit from the line
of exact perpendicularity and There
goes 90 another chimney is again the
cry.
Like Tennyson's sea, they " Break,
break, break" Tall and slender, short
and pussy, fat-sided and ungraceful,
old styles and new, warranted and I'M
warranted, they break, break, break. :"
They break while you are taking them
home, break in washing, break in the
kitchen and in the parlor, at the tea
table and in the bedroom; they break in
the day time as they stand on the shelf !;
they break at night while you are
down cellar for cider and apples, at all
times, in all places they break. Some
times they fly to flinders, again they
| just break in two; now crack pursues
marvellous serpentine track to show
you how much it can break without ac-
tually falling to pieces, (and often a
we'll cracked chimney will outlast sew
eral generations OF brand-new, war
ranted-not- to- break rivals); and again
out flies piece just enough to ruin the
draught, and turn the clear white light
into a murky fame emitting stygian
fumes.
Grass, dew, flowers, and melting sum-
mer clouds have served the poets as
loo of hroxritr Of to,,1,ro onl f.