, 1875-10-24
THE CITY.
THE MISSING CONSTABLE,
dR TIE sHrBIER'6 BET.


dR TRE sHfsIKR'6 BET.
I.
4 xzs dinoer txble,
spread with dsaoties rzee,
Nhereunto cbee11ly rat down
Two shysterz, sly aud epare
0f desh, Acd bogus Constable.
Full, ruddy. and fst, and fsl1.
And On the toothsone me4ts they muuehad
And qu4tfed the sparkling w1ne,
l. kindly sunile i1t up e.ch face,
While, ~ they did Incline
10 after-dtnuer mcr11neul,
Great K4te was in their eyne.
Great g1ee was in their crafty syns
The while they did :eu DER
Their stock Of ancient instances
And points Of legal lore,
Whereof tbs tenth7rate lawyer kss28
Abundance st1ll in etore.
q lucky uolle prosequ1s
Full many pleasant tale
They told, and many hearty hugh
Tha subject OF ttrzw-bail
Provoked, until n Last they reached
4 theme which cannot fail
To rex the soul Of clark Of lswz,
OF high OF low degree,
From him whose grave opinion brtnxs
tnou8AbQ-QplIxf fe3s
Down to-xuch Bhyaters bold ~ ours
A-d,nsnG merrily.
" This morn" noaned shyster number ona
In melancholy mood,
gave SheHf9s deputy,
In II Cook County "a. Hood,
4 writ tn serve on Peter Brown
In Dr1dgepoxtb uelghboshood.
Said Hood, my client, ueth in
Tic County Jail hard by;
Etvo days from now be ktandeth trial.
A-charged with burglary,
ALd nuSt have this Peter Brown
To sweAr IN 4iih1.
Yet much fear the day Of trial
No Peter Brown will see,
And Patrick Aood, though Innocent
Al bAbs unborn he be,
Will suffer through tbs tardinezs
OF that Sheriff 3 Deputy"
"Eot so." cried ebystsr number two
Thou doest gr1eyous wrong
To let euch wicked words escape
From such I waDton tongue;
Ibold that to ihese Deputies
GFeat ylftuea do beloug.7
~Rseht here" and from his greasy pouch
This Erea1y man Of law
4 fat and welI-tlumbed rol Of bills
Did oatnut2tious draw,
And counted ont ten Ks With
His dtFt-begrimed paw
Right here Al hppdTed dollarsI
Will wzger unto thee
That e1e Tomorrow gun shall eot
Tay writ will served BE-"
WitA = snaile c1ied shyster number onA
81 am your buskiebeT7t,
And, If thou wilt. this Constabls
Our stakeholder Eball be-"
Right carly On the rnoErs5w morn
Thu County building nigh.
Was ebystEr number two on9eT7Dd
With ha&tr step to bic
Among the favor1te resorts
OF thst aheIidB Deputy
And ~.s it to tho cr;rni1al Cou.t,
Or 10 the County Jail,
o. to the Sheriff office, that
This legal craft did sail
Ah no; twas where he heard tbs click
OF ye glass Of beer or ale.
And it xas It the drinking founa
Mike Casey doth command
That shystsr found that Deputy,
And with ! stuits most bland
He drew from out his pouch aY
And twitInd it in his hand,
And, winkng silly, drew aaide
Tbbt Hheri1's Deputy
And said =" This wealth II thine II thou
Will serve and hana to me
This day the writ thou hast for Brown
QuoEh the Deputy, ~ I aee."
III.
With wit Ill du1y served In hand
All through the crowded strest
1t noon that shyster number two
Did pasz with hasty feet.
Or dfved ia EnbteIrauean shades,
That Constable to meet.
The while thxt shyster number ONO,
Of all the shyster crew
The saddest, to the dusty shades
OF bik lAw Office drew,
And nourped in solitude the bet
He'd lost to number two.
And still that crafty shyster walked
The streets Ill afternoon,
1t sunset, too, and At tue riss
And setting ot the moon.
Nor till the daybfeak in his bed
Sought sleeps obltvioua bou1-
And days, and weekA, aud months h&vs 9nvn,
Yet not aingle rord
OF that bad. bogus Constable
Has that ely Ebv1ter heard+
And that he Lit with that fat stake
Petforca must be inferred