Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-06-17
BabyhOOd Experience.

great controlling power of the universe
among other wise arrangements has
ordained that infants under two years of
age shall, when they grow to ripper I'M
Outstanding, forget the incidents of baby
hood: if it were not so, dire might be the
consequences.
AS the matter now stands there are
few of us adults who do not remember,
with feelings by no means complaisant,
acts of petty tyranny, injustice or ca
price, and especially Of thoughtless cru
city, practiced upon US after we became
old enough to in some measure stand on
the defensive; but could we remember
the grievances of babyhood what an &C
count would remain between Us and the
people who (Ignorantly or thoughtlessly,
of curse) put US to torture.
As we thought over that old score,
looking in the faces of some of our dear
est friends, we should cry cut: why
in the name of common sense did you
so sorely affiict US babies? Didn't you
know that for the first month Of our mis-
cradle lives we wanted nothing but to
be kept dry, warm and quiet, with about
half the food you gave US? We wanted
sleep, but you shook Us up to show our
eyes-so like papa's. Or somebody
wanted to take the baby, and, after being
lifted and turned topsy-turvey IN the
process of transfer, that somebody, being
either woman or a child, began to trot
tie baby (what is the reason that nine
hundred and ninety-nine women out of a
thousand will trot the tiniest baby?);
next thing, being brimful of milk, this
heels-up, head-down, and then jolting
performance disturbed the equilibrium
of said milk, and up it came, nearly
choking US. Of course we squalled;
then, o dear! how we were tossed and
swung and trotted with redOubled vigor
till, if weak, we held up with sheer ex-
haustion; if strong, we sqUalled all the
harder; and the row was sure to produce
one result, viz: that the crying mouth
would be stopped with more milk.
AS we were mere imbibing machines it
wasn't our fault that we took in all that
was offered, or at least to the extent Of
sucked our fists as if in q starving condi-
ton, because it was natural for us to suck
when awake; and we ought 80 have been
sleeping, except when awakened by gen
uine hunger What we suffered through
not being allowed TO lie comfortably and
sleep quietly is not for words to tell.
You did not kill us outright, as the
Chinese do some Of their criminals, by a,
total deprivation of sleep; but we pity
those poor wretches-we had taste of
that torment.
But that wasn't all; being awake so
often and sucking SO much, then throw
ing up and sucking again, our internal
arrangements got sadly out of order; and
didn't our small stomachs ache dreadful
ly? Then you trotted US again worse
than ever, and turned US over and
tumbled US about, we all the time pro-
testing by squalling to the top of our
lungs; and then didn't we catch it? Cat
nip tea, paregoric, castor-oil and all the
nostrums that anybody chose to recon-
mnd-and all because you wouldn't let
us have our natural sleep.
When we came to be little older and
first began to take notice you trotted US
and tossed us and walked the floor with
US until we learned to like being kept in
motion; but soon we grew rather heavy
and tiresOme to the arms, and then we
were scolded, sometimes slapped, for in
sisting on what we considered our right.
A little older yet, and you tantalized and
teased us, exciting our indignation, just
to see how cunning we looked when
spunky; and not long afterward pun
ished us for exhibiting such bad tempers.
Again, when in yielding humor, you
INDUCED US in every way, and we ruled
the house; but when, in different mood,
you refused the same indulge1ces, we
| waxed wroth and suffered, first from our
own vexation, secondly from yours.
Moreover, we had to suffer physical
aches and pains that God did not put in
| to the original plan Of an infants life. In
addition to taxing our digestive organs
| far beyond their natural range with
| cakes, candies and even condiments, our
clothing was anything but comfortable;
| in winter our little legs and arms were
left uncovered, and il summer we were.
made cross and miserable with skirts
and belts and bands that CALLED our ten
der flesh and this, forsooth, that we
might look pretty and he ga To- mode"
Everybody must confess that this list
of baby-grievances contains only the.
most common and milder forms of i'll
| treatment; the aggravated and excep-
tional cases are not included.
But you will say that am contradict
ing myself about the wisdom Of Provi-
dence; for if we could remember our
baby Affections, and thus protest against
the perpetrators, one generation would
suffice to work a reformation in this mat
ter. | am not so sure about the reforma-
ton. IF people don't or won't learn wis
dom from such enlightenment as is now
available to most readers, don't believe
they would from any amount of personal
protestation, their own memory included;
they would go on in the old, beaten path,
because it is easier; that's, it saves what