The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-05-06
SENSE AND NONSENSE.


BAY CUR, baker. That is the way
they spell it in Kansas City.
THE first iron steamboat built in St.
Louis was recently launched.
A NORTH CAROLINA householder dis
covered that the burglar he had killed
was a woman in male attire.
"1s THAT clock right over theref"
asked visitor the other day. Right
over there?" said the boy, "'tain't no.
where else"
If you write down the figure five and
twenty-one ciphers and call the units
tons, that is, they say, the weight of this
world of ours.
A oNE-EYED San Francisco girl adver-
tises for husband afflicted in the same
way. She don't mean TO be twitted on
her deformity after the honeymoon.
WHENEVER you read this sentence,
Being a man of means he escaped pun
ishment," make up your mind that it
shall never be so again if you can helpit.
"Now let US talk about your business
affairs" said sharp Connecticut girl to
a young fellow after he had proposed
marriage to her in a long address filed
with expressions of passionate love.
THEY have got SO now that they blow
up whales with torpedoes, and it won't
be long before the women will get hold of
the invention and scatter an intoxicated
husband all over the ceiling g.-DetrOit
Free Press.
THE Baptists of Catskill, at communion,
recently found themselves without wine.
A thief had, somehow, stolen it, and the
Recorder adds: ANY man who would
ir<,h Oh, Ok l 81, IL l..
grandmother's coffin"
THE coming insane asylum keeper to
visitor: "Do you mean that man with
his head bowed, his eyes cast down and
his lips moving? Oh, yes, he was spelled
down too; but he keeps right on practic-
ing just the same; l believe his word is
| syZygy.'"
ONE Westbrook, of New York, bought
a barrel of sugar from his grocers, and
| finding it eighteen pounds short pub
iished a circular styling the grocers the
champion lightweight firm of the
country" 'Whereupon the aggrieved
| grocers brought suit, and Westbrook is
under bonds.
| AT a church in Reading, Pa, recently,
young men in,erfered with the service
and blasphemed the name of God to such
!,
a terrible fight took place, ladies tainted,
young girls screamed, and terrible
scene followed. 1t was necessary to
stop all services for the evening"
1.-THE gold in the Black Hills is of
Siouxperior quality."-[ Express. "But
the hunters must take their Cheyennces
of finding it, Burlington Hawk- Eye |
Cheyenne 'em up."-[ Cincinnati Times ]
| fnna lnr, nd
evince your further Ingenuity. There's
abundant room.-St. Louis Republican.
THE signs of the times point to a rapid
increase of immigration to Alabama from
| abroad, and also from other portions of
the country. Two large German colonies
have been already established in the
State, and numerous inquiries are coming
from all quarters from parties desirous
of settling in Alabama.
Do NOT allow grindstone to stand in
water when not in use. Clean off all
grease from tools before sharpening, as
grease or oil destroys the grit. When
you get stone that suits your purpose,
send sample to the dealer to select by
| a half-ounce sample is enough, and can
be sent by mail.
THIS is what comes of exhausting the
supply of body servants and women who
handed him glasses of water: Joshua
Warne, of Denmark, Tenn, shook hands
with George Washington. Think of
that! Shook hands with himl Where
| is the man who owned a hole that had
once been in the heel of the Father of his
Country's stocking?
IT WAS dumping day" at Treyor
Hall, and the boarders were fast appeas-
ing their inordinate desires, when one of
them discovered long hair issuing from
his dumpling- He tried quietly to re-
move it, but he soon discovered that it
was no loose appendage. He then handed
it 10 the waiter with: "Please remove
this and give me a bald-headed one"
A REPORT of an Omaha spelling-match
says: 1.-The audience felt greet interest
in the spelling of Mrs. Fisher, who,
| though nearly seventy-five years of age,
was among the last to go Gown, and
when she did miss murmur of regret
was heard all over the house The word
| that she missed, however, was spelled
correctly according to her dictionary"
| Mr.. L. w. Cutler, of Denver, Col,
| was recently rendered the nomination of
| city sexton and in his letter of declina-
| tion says: 1.-THE idea of cropping am eng
| tombstones and communing with gh sts
and goblins for a livelihood causes a
cold chill to run down my back. No
gentlemen, | must refuse / would
rather be a toad, and live upon the va
! por of dungeon, than wait for my fell
bowman TO die that l might grow fat.
Please leave me to pursue the quiet
walks of private life"