The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1875-04-03
English American,

The English female novelist who re-
ferred to Massachusetts cotton pIanta'
tions. in one Of her recent novels, and the
poet Campbell who mentioned alligators
as indigenous to the St. Lawrence were
not more out of the way than most OF
their countrymen who attempt TO pro-
duce the American dialects The FOL
lowing extract from story in London
.Socisty is a late and striking example OF
failure II mixes a few Eastern and
few Western provincialities with much
/ larger proportion Of what was never
snoReu anywhere on this continent. We
quote
I did not remain long in New York,
as | was anxious to commence shooting.
So | was not long in getting to the small
town Of -, aud, putting up at the best
hotel the place afforded which was not
very good one, and sent for the landlord.
wall Britisher, am glad to see you,"
commenced the American Bonifsce cool
ly seating himself at the table, and COM
menced splitting at Il bluebottle fly on the
floor. 80 you We come here to see our
glorious American Constitution. Wall,
| guess you'll be pretty considera-
bly, experimentation, doggoned
if you won't. We're an almighty
nation, we air Going shoot
ing, air YOU? Well, | calkerlats
we've got more game hcreabouts than
would ill all London, an enough ships
in our little river, the Mississippi to tow
your little island across the broad Allan
tic-we hev, indeed, stranger. There's
lots ofgrouse, but nary butirler, bar, nor
alligator, about here. But | s'pose yer
means to take up yer tiXins in here in the
fcatherbed bully hotel, afore you makes
tracks,"
| assured him such was my intention.
We'll then, stranger, what will you
li!,e?-cocktail, mint julip, brandy
smash or cubblcr? I've few festive
cus,cs in the bar rs will tell you
all about the shooting Let's have Il
lickerup with them
To this | assented, and walked INTO
another room with him, where there, were
Yankees OF all descriptions.
determined to make myself popular,
and stood drinking to any amount.
Bust my gizzard, but you are rip
per-! exclaimed my tall friend. "He air,
ain he bully boys?"
" hat more they said was drowned in
Il terrible row winch took place at the
other end of the apartment.
"liilIo!' shouted my tall friend. "Come
on, stranger, if YOU want to see our per-
ticke.ur customs of this Hemisphere. Bet
my boots its Bully Larkins and that old
oss from Calertorncy. Go il, my cock
eyes, be screamed out, as he mounted
the table, ago it, old COON" abiding to
one of the combatants: $50 it! Bully's |
gaining on YOU and if you don't look out
he'll riz yer har with bowie knife, gouge
yer eye, and fetch YOU out OF yer boots
he will by
Such a fearful row | never heard
knives glttcrcd in the hands of many. !
While all this was going on made my
way ont OF the apartment, and locked and |
boItci myself in my own.
In half an hour my landlord came to
the door and Knocked for admission.
1T is all over, stranger he said rs he
entered. "Old Calerforney carved two
of Bully Larkin's fingers of with his Boz
vie, and Larkns bit of half Of tother's
nose. | guess he amt beautiful. They're
festive cusses here and air always at it.
Nary day passes without II free fight
need hardly say, the next day | took
my departure Cor New York, and was of
to England by theft boat. had had
quite enough Of my American friends
and their notions.
have given UP sporting, As found
could make no hand at it, shoot occa-
sionally Tor amusement, and fish occasion !
ally, bat never lay down the law as an
authority.