Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-08-14
GATHERINGS BY THE WAYSIDE.

never more Will CToDlc YOU, tIouuie ou.
A Maine girl left her clothing in an
open boat and hid herself, and when
her parents were crying and saying if
they only had her back they would
obey her slightest wish, she appeared
and said she wanted to marry George.
The editor of the Taunton Gazette
has been eating 'em, for he says: 4" The
comely cucumber cometb, conveying
countless cases of cholera and collie,
causing cheerful comments on tho part
of the compounder of curious but COM
forting cordials.
Yesterday when q women stepped
aboard q Michigan-avenue car the driv-
or started up and caused her to sit down
on the floor instead Of the seat. "Pn
very sorry, madam" he said, as he
checked up. Yes, it's an occasion
when sympathy makes one feel good"
she replied, as she got up, "but ]. be-
lieve I'll break this parasol over your
head for luck!' And she whalloped
him until there wasn't anything left to
strike with.-DefroH Free Press
The following We're n few of the max.
inns of that king of printers, Benjamin
franklin: Trade is the true mother of
money; be beforehand with your bus
siness; spend and be free, but make no
waste; prayer and provender hinder no
journey; credit is like looking glass,
easily broken; he who looks not before,
finds himself behind, keep thy Office
and thy Office will keep thee; they nev-
er thrive who spend their time in beer
houses, and in gaming houses; God
helps them who help themselves.
General Schenck, U. s. Minister to
England, has been using an old Amer
lean anecdote to good advantage. To
the wife of British cabinet officer, who
assured him that " England made Amer
all what she is," he said: i" Pardon,
madam, you remind me of an answer of
the Ohio lad in his teens, who attended
Sunday school the first time. He was
asked by his teacher, Who made you p
He replied, Why God made me about
SO long (holding his hands about ten
inches apart) but I growed the rest"
BESSIE TURNER AND THE VERDICT.
When Bessie Turner heard of the YER
dict, she turned on her heel and mood
lily bent her way to the Brooklyn ferry.
1t is fair to suppose from this that the
lovely somnambulist was not entirely
satisfied. There was some reflection
upon her veracity in the disagreement,
some lingering doubt that maiden so
alert and frisky could be shot through
patent pneumatic tube at the rate Of q
mile q minute and not know it. But
she is unnecessarily sensitive; we have
never for a moment doubted that she
might be blown as far as the orbit of
Saturn, and come down totally uncon-
scious ofan explosion. - Brooklyn Argus.
FREE RIDES. One of our philanthro-
pists and horse breakers, has been Civ
ing some of his friends about town free
rides in his breaking cart, and he gives
them free baths too. One hot day dur
ing the week he took hotel keeper
and liquor merchant-onea ct a. time,
of course--out for free ride. After
going short distance he would be-
think himself to drive down to O deep
hole in Mill creek to let his horse drink,
and in order to give him good drink,
would drive out into water about four
feet deep, and then stop. At this
depth the water usually runs into q
mans vests pockets, and the driver
takes good care that they sit down and
enjoy it along with himself, even if he
has to grab fellow and hold him
down. One of these rides always sat
isles man, and when he has had it he
usually hunts up some friend and per-
.suades him to try ride Walla-,calla
Union
A SINGULAR OCCURRENCE A few DAYS
since while Mr. G. T. Thompson was
out hunting above Isaacs' mill be at
tempted to cross Mill creek on log.
The water was about ten or twelve feet
deep at the place, and when at the
deepest point of water Mr.. Thompson
slipped and fell in ON his back, and his
gun few out of his hand, and went to
the bottom. After getting to shore MFR.
Thompson beheld his gun at the bottom
of the deep hole in the creek, and dived
down and brought it to shore. On ex-
animation it was found that one barrel
had been discharged while under water,
and that for about three inches from
the it muzzle was split open and turned
almost wrong side out. The owner sup
poses that the gun went down with
such force that il struck on the bottom
and was there discharged and, of course
burst. But this is the first time we
ever heard of just such an accident, and
presume none of our many hunters can
tell of similar exerience, although
some of them can tell some pretty tough
stories. Id. -
Masonic. The reception committee
requests all persons who have signifed
their willingness to entertain Masonic
guests next. week, to be present at
Al Il. 4 .