The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1875-03-26
HARD TIMES.
BY J 81.

What trite subject: Perhaps you
are trite, OF at least old, and if you are
NOT, you will he, if you live half as long
as yo want to. 30 read on or skip.
Hard times are like measles they
break out in the country every now and
then; and they must be raging now.
for nearly every body Is com planning of
hard times, men women and nj gers
Hard tines are not necessarily faUA', but
are pa, tIcuiarIy dangerous, if they
'',trjke in" While | have not heard OF
anybody dying Of this disease, ye there
are some ION the lift" The d yctors don't
seem to KIN, W much about this disease,
or if they do, they don't care mu"h
about it If You cali one Ia to Treat
your case, he'll feel your pulse, and
- hie doing so, will gaze at the vail
rIl it ushps (ne's trying To study ~ a
name about six inches long to cGTIsten
! your complaint wiJh) then punch you
an the short ribs, thereb7 dIseugagfng
! several ughS, and, II you are not on
/ YOUR guard, a few u-uS. Tim he'll
/ make YOU lull out yuuI tongue ike an
| Uvrrhpated *, for nothing Ia the world
! but lust To look at It-shake his head,
! give you a square meal Of medicine
| leave You ten TIMES as much 70 take, Of
! YOU Evr) and il you die, you'll never
! know whether the disease or medicine
! killed you.
Hard times are bad enough, but not
near so bad as hird work, hard living,
| hard lying, (miud that you attach the
meaning Intended by this last word nor
]
= der,-sull they are beneficial to a lie
! hard CASES in d amunIty-
The ladies are benefited by hard
! times, for II enables them To eXercIS-
ter skill 10 remndelIng Old drrese g,
adapting them 70 the exIgtncies OF every
| Jav wear, co alsing ii pull here, and IeC~
ung out tuck there, Tetresslng the
! grievances Of sundTy hats and bOuuets,
stopping TO conquer an obstinate rent IN
a tiny shOe--au2eIc cTIspIns.
Hard times help the merchant, because
| it enables HiIn To sell all his old rem
nunts al calico. faded ribbons, torn la
| ces, cracked ware c, and gives him an
| excuse " sue al that ne wants 10, and
nuT tu trust those he don W inc 20 tTusr
/ Inc Grocer during the prevalence Of
/ hard times can sCTape out the buttons OF!
! has sugar and muiasSes barrels, spice, pep
/ per and ginger boxes, aud perhaps get
| rid OF some damaged cheese The Sul>
/ voni,C Is more shan happy. He has Oh
served for some time. that his whisky
! ct into the heads Of his customers aud
turned what they tad IN there topsy Uur-
/ w 10 prevent Il repetition Of tins, he
ADOPTS the admirable eXpedieDt Of weak
enIug his shIsAy with some chea fluid
| 90 that II can climb 50 high.
f,15 .r,nA1-y Oh
of the profits rrsuitIug fro Ii hard times
tie can take al his old powders, -alJs,
tincJures rradymade pills plasters,
patent medicines, and what-nnt and
grind them over agaln, adding just
enough OF fresh drugs to wear b.,
rpriukie, /. few drops of Gilman n, or
la, eutrT, TO make the mass smell good
and then make Il pauuCet that will cure
ANY disease Ia the world, or kill the
man that has II. All the lawyers
from the peculiar nature Of their tenure
on suhIuuaTy thIugs, are exempt trnal
the etfrc =, either good OF bad, If hard
times. lJ has been laid, live the dev3
his due. Ills Satanic MAJESTY IS uut
at al uneasy about the principal due
him, he ha- that we'll secured, 10 Is Ihe
IuJerca he Il watching and Iawyers ARE
the interest, due annually, ON the devIi 3
| uurs Hence his WHtchiul care over
them, and hence, too, their exemption
irOur naru times here.
The farmer comes In for his share OF
the blessings spilled around by hard
times lie can now shell and sell out
al ms nubbius, shattered and rat eaten
cora, al ms u.d broom s-dge that be has
cut, AMI mIscaIed nay, all hi7 tat gnbs
and tnIn pieces OF bacon that, ia oUner
tunes, would be thrown a,Id- tor soap
/ crease, anu XII all ms HTfstJcraIi5 beeVrs
/ reckon they are arIstOcraU'c for they
are blue bl, cd ID, that haV Ut enough &"
tuIIUw In them 10 see how u eat them
by. A lsp he San pace on the market
sumdry frames OF IA farewell VAIN word
AIuu of look, that once had been horses
OF mules, which he, who buys, can re-
parr according TO his fancy or the amount
OF his corn and Oat~.