Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-12-01
rEdrinss.

ofla new song II treats Of fishing
nernacks. q a. r.
y "My son, deal only with the
men who advertise-you viii never
lose by it"-Ben franklin
Back Hills motto: "Fsf yhat
IS man profted II he gain all the
gold and lose his own scapl"'
Emerson, in late poem, speaks
Of "bfave men who work while
others sleep" Burglars, probably.
The water is so low in some Of
the western rivers that the catfish
fhaye TO stand on their heads 10
breathe.
Rejected lover-"But couldn't
you learn 10 love mep Young
LADY, might if-if l never cav
you again"
A new fashion has Just been
started In Pennsylvania. A woman
there has just hanged herself with
her corsets.
We hate some persons because
we DO not know them, and we viii
not know them because we hate
them.
st. Louis Republican: Olive
Logan was the best dressed lady ct
Long Brancb--after the other ladies
had gone 70 bed.
The scboolboy in arithmetic is
probably the best illustration Of
zone who doesn't admire the setting
Of good examples.
II may seem contradictory, but
neverless true, that when people
indulge in high words they always
use low language.
A person looking at some skele-
tons the other day asked young
doctor present where he got them.
lie replied, ave raised them"
What is the difference between
the death Of the Of barber and
a sculptorl One curls up and
dyes; the other makes faces and
busts.
When a Chicago woman goes
opt intolt'c country and is chased
BY a grasshopper, she pulls off one
Of her shoes and crawls into it for
safety.
A young lady asked bookstore
clerk the other day, il he had
"Festus.9 $40" replied the clerk,
-~but Pp1 afraid a boil Is coming
on my neck" .f
80 Doctor 10 wounded Carlists :
e"why did you not seek shelter be-
lind the rocksg" "The rocks. were
too few and bad been all occupied.
sbyr 6pf officers doctor" 80. -
A California paper puts in good
word for the abused Monaghan,
remarking that no Cbinaman has
ever yet become o book-canvasser
or life-insurance agent.
We can never tell exactly where
we lose our umbrellas. II is sing
ulsr how gently an umbrella IN
:clagps itself from the tendrils of
our mind and floats into the finn
ny distance Of nothingness.
There are young men who can
not hold a skein of thread for their
mothers without wincing, but who
will hold 125 pounds Of neigh
boring family for the best part OF
the night with patience and do
cility that are certainly phenome-
nal. 80.
A Detroiter was called on as q
witness in n case before one Of the
Justices lately, and, when the oath
was administered, he raised both
hands and said: 81 sball spoke
nodding what amt drew II ever ]
hope to die 80 quick as minute !"
allow much for the broad-faced
chicken on the fence 7" inquired
mn Irishman Of farmer on Staten
Island the other day. "Tbat's not
n chicken, it's an OWL" replied the
farmer. 81 don't care how ould he
is, I would like to bny him."
"A darkey left in charge Of q tel
egraph Office while the operator
wsnt 10 dinner, heard some one
cali over tho wires, and began
shouting at the instrument, "De
operator isn't yerI' The noise
ceased. III DIX $500.
A Wisconsin editor illustrates
the prevailing extravaganza Of the
people Of the present day by call
ing attention to the costly baby
carriages in use now, while when
Ix.~eaaa hal,v xhov hauIed him