The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1875-07-28
THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE.

4 very smart German philologist, named
Bachmaier, has invented q universal lan-
guage. We have not mastered all its in-
tricacies yet, but the theory starts with ths
idea that man needs only four thousand
words to express all his ideas. Right here
we agree with the author. There are plen.
ty Of situations in life where one or two
good solid words are about enough, and we
can scarcely surmise auy combination q
circumstances which would require more
than four thousand. That number would
satisfy even an insurance agent Or light
ming rod man. 1t might be little short
for the .mother-in-law when she starts
out to give the brute who married her
daughter her opinion touching his coming
home at two o'clock in the morning; but
mother-in-law has very few rights that any
man is bound to respect. 1t is certain that
German philolosis would not halt in his
great task on her account. We are not
sure, but DR.. Bachmaier may have 4 moth
er-in-law, and if he has he will agree. With
US.
Starting from the basis Of the four thou
sand words, Dr. Bachmaier states that each
of the words will have number which wif-
represent it in all the languages. AS an
example-if the number LOO stands oppol
site the word fire in the English column, it
will also be found against the word fen IN
the French, and feuer in the German, and
thus throughout the whole list Of languages
used. ..,
In the application Of this method, an
Englishman, writing to o French friend
with the dictionary in hand, will first seek
out the word he desires to express in
French; but, in place Of writing the word
itself, will write the numeral that is the
universal representative; and, reversing
this method, the French recipient OF the
communication will replace the numerals
by the words Of his own language.
1t is very easy to see how charming all
this is going to be. Under the operation
of the present beastly system Of languages
fellow has to learn tongue throughout
before he caE talk to the natives. And it
sometimes happens that after LIE has spent
months and months on his Ollendorf, and
goes TO Paris. the very first man he asks
about the gold pen of the schoolmaster
calls him an idiot. Tbst isn't the answer
ain Ollendosf.s 1t is, No, bds 7have the
silk gown Of the grandmother But as
long as the whole world does not revelve
on the Ollendorf principle, it is cheering to
know that German philologists are turning
their attention to schemes which will sur
mount the difficulties now existing. Here
tofore it has been very embarrassing to
fall in love with a French girl who hadn't
studied O1lendorf. But now it is'au se-
rene. You have simply to clasp her hand,
look toward heaven and say 9S, 16. 4, 23,5
II, and she will reply, 8, 72, 8, Is, 20.
when you are not well up in the Bachmier-
ian system you will have to talk with the
books in your hands. This will make the
interview longer and consequently more
pleasant. If you say three 3, 29, 7e, mean.
ing 81 love you it will take her few mo-
ments to pick it all out of the French col
umn, and then you can embrace her Or get
your hat, just accordingly as size replies.
Everything is placid. There is no undue
excitement, and even if her father came
down with thunder in his eye, it would take
him 80 long to find out the numbers stand.
ing for the expression Of his intention to
kick you, that you could be half mile
around the corner before he was ready.
We predict for the system a great sue
cess. 1t will bring all mankind into close
bond of brotherhood, and advance the
cause Of civilization. We will be once
again simple people, each with his book
in his hand, going about babbling in num-
bers. Neither Choctaw nor Chinese shall
throw US, and our polyglottis will wag
merrlly to the :l,:s:c Of the numerals.