The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-02-11
for we'll had to do with the question

for we'll had to do with the question
an early marriage.
The Louisville C5luier-.Journaz claims
that it was copy of that paper Mrs.
Potipher wanted of Joseph. Very likely
we always heard it was something
wicked she wanted
"And there's the end of it," indig-
nantly remarked Mr.. Crabtree, of Butts
county, Ca, when he bit off the end of
DR.. Nolen's nose, the other day for pre-
senting his bill for professional service.
clergyman at Kansas City said if
there was any one within hearing of his
voice who would try to put stop to Sun
day dog fighting hed like to have them
rise up. small boy and an old woman
rose up.
He lives in Rhinebecl now-10S years
of age, threads needle at arms s length,
slept with Noah when boy. played
marbles with Pharaoh, and turned the
grindstone for G. w. to sharpen his little
cherry cutter
Maryland man whose wife dropped
dead few days ago, had the funeral put
off one day longer to get the balance of
his corn husked. He said it wouldn't
make any difference to her, as she was
always good-natured.
Josh Billings says, "If yu are going to
Civ man emmy thing Civ it to him cheer
fully. and quick, don't make him git
down on his kneeze in front of you, and
listen to tho 10 commandments, and
then give him five cents"
A popular clergyman says it is inter
esting to observe how many people 60 to
the circus "just to please the children,
and very curious to notice that some
times it takes several able-bodied men
and motherly women to look after one
little boy or girl on such an occa sion.
British parson and commercial traveller
in the cars Conversation slow). Usual
question: What line are you in p &C.
Parson answers, with a faint joke, that
he is Gin the spiritual line" "Ha, ha,"
says the other, blessed if l didn't think
so. But, say, what - of a price you
have got gin up to"
A good deacon making an official visit
to dying neighbor, who was very churl-
ish and universally unpopular man, put
the usual question: "Are you willing to
go, my friend ?'' "Oh, yes" said the sick
man, Il am well" said the simple
minded deacon, 81 am glad you are, for
all the neighbors are willing"
He was describing a dinner he had at
tended: AFTER that the cloth was took
off, and the liquors they wuz. too The
whisky was none o this yer kind that
makes man feel like saying: 1 kin lick
any son of a gun in the house and makes
him smash things generally. No, sir.
1t war the kind that jist makes man
lift his glass up gintly, and say: Joe,
old pard, Pze lookin' at yer
"Oh! your nose is as cold as ice," a
Boston father thought he heard his
daughter exclaim the other evening, as
he was reading in the next room He
walked in for an explanation. but the
young fellow was at one end of the sofa
and the girl at the other, while both
looked so innocent and unconscious that
the old gentleman concluded that his
ears had deceived him, and so retired
from the scene without q word.
One of the least fattering tributes ever
paid to rising young artist, has been
paid to Cincinnati dauber by Western
critic; HE possesses some merit as an
artist, but it is hard to say whether it
lies in landscape or marine painting
you cannot tell his COWS from his ships,
except when they have their tails exalt-
ed, when the absence of spars betrays
their characters. Even then they may
I --be- mistaken for schooners scudding
under bare poles !"
Two boys were standing before cigar
store, when one asked the other, Have
you got three cents ?" "Yes" well, l
have got two cents; give me your three
cents and will buy fivecenter." "All
right" says No. ., handing out his money.
No. enters the store, procures the cigar,
lights it and puffs away with good deal
of satisfaction. Come, now, give US
pull says No. ,, 81 furnished more than
half the money" 81 know that" says
the smoker, "but then I'm the Presi-
dent, and you being only stockholder
you can spit"
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