Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-08-18
MISCELLANEOUS.
"A smart thing--a mustard plaster.

"A smart thing--a mustard plaster.
-Roll-call-the bakers visit.
Most people are like eggs-tco full of
themselves to hold anything else.
Poverty is the test of civility and
the tombstone of friendship.-Hasiit.
Again the people of Western Texas
talk of having the State divided, with San
Antonio as their capitol.
An Alabama man has been trying
to lead church and manufacture lead
nickels at the same time.
--Refrigeratcrs are to be built in Ds.la
ware for peaches, which promise to keep
them good for six months.
-"I say, Pat, what are you about
sweeping out room ?" "No," answer.
ed Pat: II am sweeping out the dirt
and leaving the ROOM"
Among the conditions of sale" by an
Irish auctioneer was the following: "The
highest bidder to be the purchaser, unless
some gentleman bids more"
-Cnrran was once asked by one of
his brother judges. "Do you see any
thing ridiculous in this wig ?" Moth
ing but the head" was the reply.
The Columbus journal, desert hing
an Ohio politician, says: "He is an
honest man by profession, and he
earns his bread by the sweat of his
jaw"
Did you ever meet Alonzo Brown. of
Virginia? If you never did, you never
will. He was found hanging to limb the
other day, and a paper pinned to his coat
read; "He stole hams"
Think Of it some day for instance
when the ice cart don't come round. A
New Hampshire picnic party two weeks
ago went out in the mountains, and had a
frolic in an eight feet snow bank.
81 would advise you to put your
head into dye-tub, it's rather red,
said joker to a sandy haired girl. 81
would advise you to put yours into an
oven, 1t is rather soft" said Nancy.
If you are at church of Sunday
evening in August, without fan, cast
about your eye until it lights on an
| engaged couple, and when you sec
how close they snug up together, you
will lose in great degree sense OF
the heat.-Danbuyy Ne,rs.
oh, horrors This is too much
Close upon the crash Of banking.houses
and the devastation of crops, comes the dis.
tracing intelligence from the Philadelphia
Price Current that "Peanuts are dull."-
What shall we do, this winter?
Give boy market basket of grocer.
les to carry home, and he will swing il
across his spine, bend half way to ths
ground and groan with agony, but give him
that weight of base ball bats, and he will
ship along as merry as potato bug in 9
ten-acre lot.
AT spiritual camp meeting held al
Dubuque, Iowa, last week, mediumistie
response to the question, Elbow long 1t il
going to rain2" was: 'sThe clouds keeI
pouring out water; and so long as the cloud,
keep pouring out water it will rain." Ant
then they knew all about it.
The sun was so hot in Jacksonville
Fla, the other day, that people amused
themselves cooking eggs in the sand. On,
person buried two for six minutes, ant
when they were taken out they were al
hard as IL they had been boiled for half nj
hour.
"A Domestic Servants Journal Il
about to appear in London. Heretofore
servants have been compelled to do thei
tattling orally, but now those who can fine
time to put their news in writing will fini
q field commensurate with their abilities.
The New Orleans Times says: Three
hundred thousand dollars were expended by
the planters of Lafourche last year for corr
alone. This year they will have more thar
they will need. The Picayune says thai
never before in the history of Louisians
have so many white men taken active par
in the practical details of agriculture, and
it is indeed singular coincidence that sci.
dom IL ever before has there been crop &C
promising in all respects IA that now or
the ground