The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-08-21
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

III the man VINO says luaJ ldsnlOns were luNeH'
ted to cover up some imperfection does not tell
us what impericction low neck dresses cover
ND. we shall bust.
Some people are too trusting for this world
At recent trial the prisoner entered plea OF
mot guilty." when one of the .jurymen put on
his hat and started for the door. The judge
called him back and informed him that he
couldn't leave until that case was tried Tried!
queried the juror, "why ne Acknowledges that
he is not guilty!"-NR. Sent
"Poets are born, not made" So are some 9TH
er people. Boston has A.born halter.
1t was, we admit rather illiberal on the part
of the Lutheran preacher at Platteyille (la.,) to
object to dancing on the Sabbath, by his parish.
toners; but still we can hardly approve OF the
plan of the leading church members OF shooting
at him through window. 1t shows lack OF
respect for the 10th that is far from satisfactory
: 1t would be infinitely better to get him into a
dark alley and hit him with brick-bat
The Columbus Journal, describing an Ohio
politician, says "He is an honest man by pro-
fession, and he earns his bread by the sweat OF
his jaw"
With q circus now travelling in Iowa there are
several side.shows one Of which presents a rep
resentation of hell That is the one several peo-
pie wanted to see, but they got into the wrong
tent, where panorama OF Chicago was played.
Yet they never discovered their mlstake.-HR.
Sent.
Brooklyn editor says that disease is propa.
gated by soap--the animals that die OF certain
diseases are made into soap grease, and the dis
eases are introduced into the pores Of ones skin
and conveyed through the body. We always
knew the Brooklyn editors had some good rea-
son for avoiding the use of soap.
Oh, the skeeter, the beautiful skeeter, filling
the airiwith melodious metre-under our hat
and tickling our nose taking bite through
hole in our clothes; in through the window, or
the open door; filing our chamber and singing
the sweeter ever is found the untiring muskee.
ter.-Idaho Statesman.
A Pennsylvania obituary notice sadly says;
."-Detroa Fire Pres.
An exchange raises pertinent query:
Can the watermelon be successfully cultivated
on sandy soil, with Il Theological Seminary near
by containing hundred ana twenty students
studying for the ministry?
The publisher Of weekly paper in Illinois
prints in each issus chapter OF the Bible, and
upon being ridiculed for it by his contempor-
aries remarked edtorially. ave publish moth
ing but what is news to our readers
Six dollars worth Of jewelry, prudenty Sc
lected will 20 a mile and half toward making
some women forget that this world has single
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Free Press.
TRANSMISSION Of blood is humbug in some
cases. A Chicago man had pint of bulldogs
blood conducted into his veins and then tried to
lick his wife She laid him up for week
Ankle showing is rulable in croquet playing
providing the miss wears monogram gartcrs.-
-Nin0nk Times.
From this we infer the average Minonk girls
ankle begins just below the knee. Well, we
shonld think as much from town with such Il
pigeOn-toed name.
The death of the prominent Cncnnatian, who
recently figured conspicuousIy in all the news
papers is thus touchngly alluded to in the ST.
Louis RepuJ1can:
Ellis end has cast shadow Of gloom upon the
entire community; every other Cincinnatian
feels as though he had lost brother:
A oness from Lyba's desert waste,
Vibrating heels he boldly dared to paste,
In seventeen weeks the little jsckass died.
Gone TO meet Sergeant Bates"
The editor OF the Taunton Gazette has been
eating EN-, for he says: "The comeiy cucumber
cometh, conveying countless cases OF cholera
and collie, causing cheerful comments on the
part Of the compounder Of various but comfort
ing cordials.
The Ogden Freeman is edited by Mr.. Freeman
with Mrs. Freeman as local editor In the issue
Of July 23d the local editor says:
"When it is known that the local is filing the
place Of editor, foreman, job printer, book keep
err collector, etc, 1t will not be expected that our
paper will be filed as We would like It,"
In the same paper we find,
"BoRN-In this city Ogden to the wife OF The
editor Of this paper, a son,
Mother and babe doing WELL
Now if that isn't an immense days work. and
the mercury 100 degrees in the shade, wen
throw up the sponge. Should We have accident
ain got some Of the names mixed, the fair local
of the Fireman won't get yexed, We hope!
An Eastern newspaper claims that Olive 10.
gan's head is turned because she began an article
with ~ have before me q number Of newspa-
pers."
a newspaper biographer, trying TO say his
subject twas hardly able TO bear the demise OF
his wife, was made by the memorable printer to
say, swear the chemse Of his WIFE
Ladies have the right 10 oficiate as pall-bear.
ers at funerals. Eight Elmira ladies have been
gone and done II.
The New York Trijanfs tower seems TO cast a
shadow on the Sun.
Snoring IS now politely described as indulsip2
In sheet music-EdSton Free Press.
A patent-outside country paper comes TO u'
without line Of original matter, except an &C
acknowledgement Of a string Of fish from neigh
Dor. The editor evidently takes warning from
the fate Of Robert Dale Owens oyertaxed brain
The report Of a sermon by Fremont county
preacher is worth repeating here
aBoys, YOU will find this life Just game o
seyen.up You want TO save your tens and lool
out for game, an never beg when you hold
good hand Also, recollect in the long run Low
couuts os much "a hiph IL IL is only q trumu