The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-12-17
Wit and HumOr.

A MAN should keep on good terms
with himself, and never get mad at
fool.
"SocIETY " is an exchange where vain
people meet and dupe themselves and
each other.
ONE of the arrested dealers III crooked
whisky is Mr.. Amenn. The petition
should end there.
WHEN a man says he is glad to see you,
ask him if he means it. There may be
chance that he does not
A REALISTIC poet with bad cold
seizes his Tyre and sings:
He pressed his face against the pane;
Qt was the Christmas Eye),
moisture gathered in his nose
lie wiped il with his sleeve.
"MRs. HENRY" said John to his wife,
| the other morning, "if you give me
Christmas present this year, please az
range it so that the bill won't come i'll
| till next month. It's Just as we'll to keep
up the illusion for short time.
IT is very gratifying to come to con
clusion logically; as, for instance, that
of an old writer: Ii. says all BritOns
are liars. Now, he himself was Eriton,
therefore he was liar-therefore the
Britons are not liars-therefore b. has
not therefore the Britons are
liars"
RECENTLY discovered manuscripts re
veal the fact that the name of the mount
upon which Noah's ark rested was de-
rived from a casual remark which cat
made when it looked out of the ark and
saw something sticking out of the water,
to-wit: els that 'ele a rat !''-DetrOH
NeWS.
A DARKEY who was STOPPING to wash
his hands in creek, didn't notice the
peculiar actions OF goat just behind
him, so when he scrambled out of the
water, and was asked how it happened,
he answered: 81 dunno 'zactly, but
'peared as if de shore kinder h listed and
frowed me.
A sMART-LooKING boy about twelve
years old called into Detroit book store
aud said his mother wanted some cards.
The clerk supposed he meant playing
cards, and accordingly wrapped up a
pack. The boy came back in the course
of an hour, flung the cards down, and
said "Mother don't want that kind
she's got five or six packs in the house
now. She wants some with marked
backs, so she can deal lone hands and
warp it to dad !''-DctroH Free Press.
He was strolling around town while
the boat was taking on freight, and,
coming to where four or five men sat
under an awning, he held out his hand
to each in turn and remarked, "Shake,
stranger. Although I've stood where
shot fell around me like rain-drops in
shower, / want reconciliation now-gen-
uine peace. "Ah what battles were
you in! 2" asked one of the men. 81
wasn't in any, mister" the stranger So
berly replied; sit was in the shot-tower
at st. Louis the shot came so fast. 3"
And the crowd went over after soda
water. - VicksJurg Herald.
CHRISTMAS BILLS.
Oh the bills, Christmas bills.
What world of misery
Their memory insts
As the merchants with their quilts
Stuck behind their ears polite
SO caressingly invite
Your kind and prompt attention
To their bills.
How they dun, dun dun,
As they kindly urge upon
Your earnest attention their blessed little bills.
Little bulls.
With q power of perforation.
Ana man that never nils.
What sad discrimination
To call them liH'e bills
While all the tin that tnkles
In your pocket, only sprnkles
little liquidation on the bills.
- the destiny that fills
All our holidays with bills
When the Christmas dinner
OF the poor indebted sinner,
Might he cooked with the fuel of his bills.
Oh! the bills, bills bills.
Nothing else but bills