Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1875-12-24
AnmorOus Sketches.


asked:
Where's your mother, bub p
'On, she's gadGed out somewhere.
where's your sister p
Gone of on the 'scursion.'
Isn't your father at home ?
Haven't seeen him for two days.'
We'll, what's become Of the baby 2
asked the woman, as she turned to 90.
The baby? Why, some boys took him
down on Lewis street TO see dead cat
And why don't you go somewhere "
asked the lady, as she shut the gate.
lam goin-waitIng now to go with my
Girl down to Michingan avenue to buy
soma onions and four cents worth OF
cherries
The family didn't seem to care about
callers.
A friend went into Co'--'s office the
other morning, and bustling up TO the
stove, observed God, hain't it cold" and
he looked at the Colonel. The Colonel
also looked at him but made no motion OF
fecO8ultlOU. Iuo Itlcu dCOCu OHposAi"">N
and Immediately took his leave. This
morning he met the Colonel in bis own
Office. Colonel, he said, why didn't you
say something when / spoke to you the
other morning p You didn't address me-
answered the Colonel. You said God.
amt il cold ? and when man asks the
Almighty a question, be is supposed not
to care for outside interference The
friend stared at the Colonel, but the Colo
mel was iu earnest and looked back at him
without weakening. 1t was capital re-
buke Of detestable habit.
CHALLENGING A WoMAN's EOTE.-A
woman at Medicine Bow, Wyoming Ter
ritory, depositing her vote last election day,
was surprised to here rough sing out:
L challenge that woman's vote
On what grounds, sir ?
She hasn't been long enough in the Ter
ritory.'
Did the woman sit down and cry oyer
it? 1t is not to be recorded. Her dainty
little hand glided back into the folds of her
pullback, and the next thing that auda-
clous cuss knew he was gazing into the
muzzle of Derringer. while the fair voter
said
How long have been in the Territory,
str'
Look out, madam-dont. That cuss-
ed thing might 90 of-take it away; beg
your pardon i don't touch that trigger
-I-I-I'm mistaken in the woman
Please point that the other way. I'll lick
the sheep thief that says you haven't lived
right here in this town for ten years.
swar / will He scoOted around the corner
and she smi.ingly passed in her ticket.
A SMART-LooKTNG young woman step
ed up to tell her wrongs in n London police
court. She had peeped through Mrs. Per-
kins' keyhole and seen her faithless hus-
band sitting with his arms encirkling that
lady's waist. The dooc was fastened. -
She knocked, and there stood Mrs. Perkins
alone, looking the very picture of innocence.
Il looks round, your Worship, and / sees
4H( Nltialh > Colb-tlil a'SliChIlS OuL vi
Mrs. Perkins coal cupboard. l pulled
him out, and l scratched his face, L did,
aud he can't deny it. And / want your
WOrship's advice what Pm TO do with him;
and puts in TO your Worship what would
be the feeling of your Worship's good lady
if she saw your Worship's coat-tail a-stick-
ing out Of another lady's coal cupboard ?''
Mn. PARSONS, Il lawyer in Chicago, was
trying q case before a Jury. being counsel
for the prisoner. TheJudge was very hard
upon him, and the jury brought in YER
dict of guilty. Mr.. Parsons moved for a
trial. The jury denied the motion, and
remarked The court and the jury think
the prisoner a knavc and fool The
counsel promptly replied The prisoner
wishes me 10 say he is perfectly sati5fied--
he Las been tried by court and jury Of
his peers =
A MAN in FrankfOrd, going home at
late hour of the night, saw that the occu-
pants ola house standing flush With the
street had lef: a window up, and he decided
10 warn them and prevent a burglary.
Halo, good peop-' That was all he
said. A whole pailful Of water struck him
in the face, and, as he staggered back, q
woman shrieked out, Didn't I tell you
what you'd get if you wasn't home at nine
O'Clock p
AN EXHoRTER EXHoRTED.-At re-
cent prayer meeting Of colored peopele at
Erie, the decency and good orper of the
meetiag being disturbed by negro named
Brown, whose prayers in public were only
incoherent rawlings, the pastor inquired
What fool niggar's dat prayin' down dar
nea' the do p A dozen people replied
with one voice: lit am Brudder Brown,
sah.' Den replied The pastor, 'Brudder
Brown subside, and let some pray dat's
better 'quainted wid de Lord
As Colored resident of Frankford was
breas:ing the storm, with new umbrella
over his head, he was halted by n friend
and who asked, is do: your umbrella p
Yes, sah-cost me. 81 was the prompt
reply. Mr.. Savage said the other, very
solemHiy, when a man will buy n So rm-
brella to keep the wet off'n ffly-cent suit
of close, what's dc use 10 talk about econo-
my?'
y DowN-EASTEE, while travelling
through the west, happened on one of IFS
representative tayern-keepers, of whom he
asked what could be furnished for dinner
Anything from a snipe to an elephant
was the reply. Il will take 2ce Of elc-
phant,' said the Down Easter. You will
have TO take a whole one, was the rci0in-
der we never cut Them
A Pawnee aboriginal presented his big
and stalwart form one december day at the
hsuse OF a well-to do family in Lincoln
- IL a.