Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-04-10
fsH-sHsaasasssa is-i=assa
Wit and HunOr.

For the clean mans party - While
there's lilo there's soap.
Said Pat. "Faix. where wud We fina
modern house that has lasted as Ion.
as the ancient y
A good many Of the 50 called 'lfava-
ma cigars would be models for married
men-they are so thoroughly domestic.
A man of large experience said his
acquaintance would fill cathedral bus
pulpit would hold all uf his friends.
Every tomorrow has two handles. =
We can take hold OF it by the handle q
anxiety or the handle of faith. James
Freeman Clarke.
Brownlow says Small men, with
plenty Of money and no brains, may
crawl into the Senate as the snail crawl
ed to the top Of the pyramid, but sucha
fellow can't run great newspaper.
Speaking Of the travelling Of sound, 4
lecturer said -" The voice Of woman
can be heard further than that ola
man, Yes. and oftener,' said a dis
gusted looking man, who was happily
fixed at home.
II is said that some time during the
present year party ofone hundred En-
glishmen is coming over to this country
on grand buffalo hunt, list Z! Ushl
Ark The 'orn ofthe 'nnter Is card on
the i'll.
He blushed fiery red; her heart went
pit-a-pat; she gently hung her head
and looked down at the mat. He trem-
bled in bis speech be rose from whcrs
he sat, aud shouted with screeeh ,"Yoa
sitting on my hat !"
There are young men who cannot hold
q klein Of yarn for their mothers with
out wincing, out will bold I25 pounds
Of a neighboring family for the best part
Of the night, with a patience and do
ciIity that are certainly phenomenal.
"The proportion Of the married among
the insane is smaller than that of the
unmarried" Undoubtedly. A man
who has TO scratch around and make
a living for his wife and eleven children
couldn't be insane If he wanted to. Hs
hasn't the time.
During the great Indian rebellion 4
young soldier complained to Lord Clyde,
then Sir Colin Campbell, that his 1.-THE
sword was :" too short.
Sir Colin Immediately returned this
answer Make it longer by going
step nearer the enemy"
Eyes, boys" said Nancy Bell. fc-
male blacksmith Of Iowa, as she strad-
died horses leg and yanked off a shoe,"f
was brought up to this business and SO
was my mother; and there amt been no
Beecher scandals in our family, for
fact. " - Mil,cudkee Netcs.
whats this crowd around here for2
demanded q policeman the other night
as lie came upon dozen boys grouped
near the gate Of the house on King street
"Keep still !" replied one Of the lads
"There comes old John, tight as a brick
and we're waiting here to see his Wits
pop him with the rolliog-piu as he op.
ems the front door
What changes few years bring
about-don't they? Yesterday the ciGi-
zens Of Arbor Hill were aware Of wo-
man tearing madIy along, potato-mash-
er 10 hand, giving chase to her husband
who was flying from her presence like
deer Eight years ago the same female
took a medal at an eastern seminary for
4 graduating essay on "Reposc Of Char
scters."
A farmer, having buried bis wifc.wai-
ted on a graye-dgger, who had PERFORM
ad the necessary duties, to pay him BIS
fees. Being Of niggardly disposition,
be endeayored to get the knight Of the
spade to a5ate his charges. The patti
,nce of the latter becoming exhausted.
he grasped his shovel impulsively, ard,
, it'll an angry look. exclaimed: "Doon
vi another shillin', or-up she Games ?"
The threat had the desired effect
Tho Lebanon (Ky.) Democrat says
hat there recently resided ia that coun-
y family named Frost, which consist
d Of FIVE sons, and the parents, actual
d by a desire, probably, to propiliate
be winter king, named their boys a.
ollows Severe Frost, Winter Frost,
White Frost, Jack Frost and Black