The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-06-05
CREAM or OUR EXCHANGES.

| The national sass" Kansas; the national pie
Mississp-pi; the national hatehway, all those
States possessed by the grasshoppers; the worst
card in the pack, Ten-ace-scc.
How blessed is the son.of woman born
Who never felt the sting OF corn,
Or smartcd like ten thousand onions
With blisterlng bands of blasted bpniofss.
Ethan Allen said to the commander Of Ticeon.
deroga: Get up, you whitc-livcred scoundrel''
but the historian has thought proper to make
him remark: ARISE, MY respected friend, and
surrender this establishment rs soon as you con.
veniently can -Rochester Dssqocrof.
! The Washington capital is nov known as the
Sunday Clara Morris.
1t is announced in Chicago that the advanced
guard of the grand army Of srass.hoppers has
reached that city.
Ten years ago Johnny began marching home.
A mule was killed by lightning IN Spalding,
Georgia, but it ruined the lightning.
The seaside mattel, factories are being put in
trim UdtcriOo Register.
In st. Louis, when one newspaper strikes its
tent and moves Off to join its forces with those
Of another, some fifteen or twenty lager beer sa-
Mary Kyle Dallas, the story writer, is studying
art Hitherto she has studied il with un h.
Secretary Brstow's favorite air: stills, SO
gently DER me stcaling"-N T. CooiHc,rjm .id.
,crtiSer
The Rochester Dem""rrd says that Nile. Plas.
ter, II young Preach actress, is coming over next
season. We presume all the yoLng fellow, will
h,. inclined IN pnurt pla.Ipr
We have received poem OF which the last
stanza is as follows:
But should unsuccessful prove
In all the fond iRtrigs of love
Should they despsc me and my wealth,
I'll buy gun and shoot myself
The Albany A,yps spells regal backwards
and then drinks it.
German sausage, are free from duty. Wouldn't
you like to be German sausage s-ho,Shd'
Messenger.
The late President OF the Confederacy may he
seen any Sunday passing around the plate in a
Memphis sanctuary.
II YOU can't get good education and white
plug hat get the hat Washington H9uM
The Irish World says it ISN'T right for preach
crs to accumulate wealth. This may be tru,
enough but what we want to know is whether
it is right for editors to accumulate wealth. i
liti,, vc want to brgih 10 accumulate hui
We have no desire To do anything that is mo-
right
Some one Is evidently standing in front OF The
Office Of the NATION gazette, Judging from thes,
vague references in its last issue:
The large hand that ourmounts q post IN from
of the ios,Ns Office docs not point towards tha
piece OF living statuarv in black that usually oc
cupics the foot Of the stairway, but has loitc
meaning; IL point, 10 the second story, whcr,
the art preventative i, practced in the latest anC
best styles.
Don't let that solemn Individual who occupies
the foot Of the stairway leading To the Gdsett
Office, deter any Ladies' from coming up and lcav
ling orders Tor visiting cards. He is entirely un-
WORTHY of respect, and should unccremoniousl,
be ordered TO stand aside.
William Bunker, of Brown county, was pitched
Through the roof Of "A saw-mil in which he wa
working, recently, crashing oil the oak boards
like a hurricane The man will recover, aud III,
mill owners are in quandary whether 10 iron
plate the roof OF the mill or hire a softer man il
Bunker's placc.-Ci". Saturday A'gd'
should Bcechcr come out Of this trial with
lclean bill Of health, 1t is quite probable that h
will do more moderate and safer amount q
kissing business.
The Louisville Coytier-JouI1aal, in reply to
pathetic question Of womp, How shall
keep my husband home in the evening" says
can be done easy enough by opening firstclas
beer garden in the back yard.
Half dozen horse thieves hanging in ro'
formed pleasing spectacle that met the eye {
La recent Boston visitor IN Western Arkansa
l"Sh homp-r syronnis" was his feeling remark.
Anew Hampshire woman COMMITTED suicid