The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-09-01
CARY ON WINE BATHS.
To the Editor of the Commercial:

To the Editor of the Commercial:
I have Just returned from Jasper County,
Illinois, where, in 1872, our illustrious horny
handed used to hold forth to the masses at
fifty dollars per speech. Among other places
pant temperance TRADES, the old Joe Cooper
farm. now known as Hunt City, was selected
as fine field for operations, and the time ap-
pointed was the Harvest Home celebration.
After few of the usual desultory remarks on
the tenn perance question, the General, VINO
meant business, and who knew that with the
American people disgust is as powerful as
ridicule is with the French, delivered himself
of the following piece of imaginative fire.
works:
when was in Paris, said he, "as I was
passing through a certain thoroughfare, saw
large sign in flaming letters, 'Bains au Vim,
which means wine baths. Being of an in
quisitive mind, l stopped at the door and
commenced interrogating the smiling and
very obliging porter, who glibly informed me
that these wine baths were made of the COM
mon and ordinary red and white French
wines used in the bath tub in lieu of water,
and that by these means a very profitable
trade was carried on. You see, sir, said the
porter, the first who takes the bath is gen.
orally some equity old codger with the poda-
gra or rheumatism or seven years itch, who
receives the first benefit Of alcoholic ablu-
dred francs, which nearly covers first cost.
Next comes some retired grocer or haber-
dasher who, although anxious to restore life,
elasticity and fire to the system, withered in
the obscurity and dampness OF the old store,
by the invigorating influence OF generous
wine, dares not however, afford so expen-
sive luxury, and, therefore, takes the second
bath in the same tub, and in the same wine,
at reduction of fifty per cent, to-wit: His
bath costs, say fifty francs. After him the
price is reduced to twenty francs, and the
price is paid-alWays for the use of the same
wine and in the same tub-by some gay
lorette of the Quarter Breda, who beguiles
her Don Juan with the illusion that the bath
is of the first wine, at one hundred francs,
and pockets the difference, or by some BASH
tul and not-over-weli-tc-d lover, who, unable
to muster courage enough to pop the question
when in his usual composed mind, seeks in
spiration and pluck in the wine bath.
"After him the bath goes begging at five
francs, and finally is offered at fifty centimes,
or ten cents, when soldiers and sailors, chit
fonniers and ramonneurs, that is, rag-pickers
and chimney sweeps, swarm TO the lower
room, where the wine has IN the meanwhile
been let out into rougher leceptacles, and
by the copious libations of the last half dozen
bathers, is finally in proper condition to be
bottled aud expcrted-where do you think
to ?-to America. Yes, SIR said the gar
rulous por er, the United States offer the
best market for those wines which, through
the process of about a dozen baths, acquire
that peculiar fl .vor, that exotic bouquet,
which tickles the un,utored American palate
much better than the real Chateau Margaux,
the Clos Vougesut, the Vim de Graves or the
hambertain.
s.It is the effluvia f, ON the hun an body in its
unwashed condition that gives to these wines
that delicate je ne saisquoi. that velvety mel
lowness so highly appreciated by our mis-
guided American cousins. And most of the
brilliantly labeled Bordeau and Haut Sauterne
served at American hotels and restaurants
owe their popularity to the chemical transfer
nations they undergo in our bathing est4b-
lishments' "Now," says Gen. Cary to his
horny handed audience, "now, my friends,
who among you would ever again venture to
drink glass of French wine?'
Of course nobody could contradict the
truthful orator; but after he descended from
the rostrum, friend of mine, DR.. P, a
Frenchman by birth, and who had resided
many years at Paris, approached the General,
and after the preliminaries of an introduction,
and complim ents passed on his speech, In
sisted upon knowing the street in which Gen.
Cary had seen that VINE bath-house, and
our enthusiastic and truthful apostle of tenn
perance being driven to the wall, finally &C.
knowledged that he had made a mistake in
saying that he himself had held that CONVEX
ton with the porter; in fact, he had not seen
the bathroom but a friend Of his had seen
it, and had told him.
The crowd heard it all, and laughed heartily
at the tenn perance orators discontinue; for
down there in Jasper county they like a
"dhrop OF the old crathur !" now and then
to keep off the chiIls and fever, you know.
Now, if Gen. Gary denies that the above is
true, insubstance or in fact, am authorized
to say that more than thirty OF the French
residents of St. Marie and neighborhood,
who heard him, will testify to the statement
under oath. Comment is unnecessary.
A FRENCHMAN AND DEMOCRAT.