Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1875-08-06
THE BOY at TIE SODA FOUNTAIN.
A Startling Tale that ne Tcid TO a Poor
Old Lady who was Thirsty.

. = L
A Startling Tale that ne Told TO Poor
Old Lady who was Thirsty.
He was rinSing the glasses when
the old lady entered the store. twas
hot weather, and the soda fountain
looked so tempting that she conquer
ed her ayarice and walked over and
told the boy that she would take a
glass.
s'Do you wish for fly in it::' he
inquired in a whisper.
"a fy?" erasmus. no,'' she replied,
look of disgust on her face.
Gust rs YOU say, madam" he went
on as he drew some lemon syrup.
"People. are SO different in tastes, you
know. Some object to flies and some
don't. I'll mix some pineapple syrup
with this lemon, and now will you
have great deal of gas and a little
water, or u great deal of water and a
little gas"
'I'm purity thirsty" she said.
"Well. then Won want more water
than gas, and there won't be so much
danger OF an explosion.
"Explosion:" she queried.
"That was the word, madam. We
have had but few such accidents here
this summer, and | truly hope that
We may have no more"
''Does soda water blow up folks:"
"That depends on the state of their
health. Some people could stand here
and drink all day, while others might
get the glass tipped up this way, and
boom. they'd go.''
BUST"
"Yes'm-fly into thousand pieces.
You never saw human being explode,
did you:''
"Mercy, no."
'Well, you don't have the least
warning. They may be laughing or
talking, and all at once the store is
filled with false hair, monogram gar
tiers. bustles, corsets, feet, teeth, and
rolled plate jewelry. 1t makes great
muss around here, and if we hadn't
three of the smartest negroes in town
to pick up and sweep out we'd have
to shut up the store for a whole after
noon after an explosion
lie stood with the glass in his hand
agitating the syrup and waiting, and
she said:
81 didn't suppose it was dangerous
stuff.
well, us | told you, it depends on
the state of the system. if your liver
| is torpid and your digestion impaired,
one glass OF soda water would blow
you higher than Gilderoy's kite, and
the coroner. would be lucky to find as
much as your spectacles to hold an
inquest on If your system IS all
right, You might drink a hundred
glasses and feel no disastrous effect.
Now, then, you'll have good deal Of
water and but little gas, eh:'
She madea deprecatory motion and
asked:
"How's the stuff made:"
"Well, | can't go on and explain all
the process. There's marble dust,
acid, gas, sugar-coated pills, giant
powder, cologne water and kerosene
all mixed together and then distilled.
The distilled liquid is placed in Il re-
tort, where a chemical action separates
| it, and the gas forces it up separate
pipes.
kerosene and pills. she gasped.
That's what | said, madam. You
look innocent and honest, and hope
You won't say anything about it. l
tend this fountain in order to support
a widowed mother and seven father
less children. II you should say any
thing I'd be discharged, and if | were
discharged | should commit suicide.
You'll have plenty of water, ell y
NO, sir, | WON'T she replied.
.'Do you suppose I'd drink acids and
kerosene?"
Not in their crude state, madam,
| but this process"
Il don't care for the process" she
snapped; = wouldn't touch the
stuff"
1T is mild beverage, madam, and
the doc"
"Well, | don't want any. When
go to swallering tar and lard and
kerosene you'll know it. S'posen |
drank some and exploded.''
"Don't mention it," he whispered.
Don't speak of it,
Pm sorry for you, young man, but
there's constable living right in
sight of our house, and think /
II
"You'll drive me to suicides grave,
you meant
She lowered her spectacles, took
long look at him, and went out with
out replying.-DetrOit Free Press.