Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-04-14
Wit and Wisdom.
AN executive ofice-the hangman's. <
Il DACTFTN foo nj

4 RARE fiower-The pink politeness.
A MOUNTAINOUS event-Ande3 cleo
ton.
. BURNING words-A dictionary in
A cocKNEY naturally confounds Ma
sons with hod-fellows.
AS you cannot avoid your own COM
pany make it as good as possible.
AN officer has no right to arrest q
sailor Tor any crime. It is illegal to
commit salt
ONLY three guests were bid, and thirtaan
crowd the hall
Four water in the soup and bid them welcome
all.
CINCINNATI pork dealer PROPOSES TO
furnish the world with his ought to-buy-
biography.
SINCE the hard times struck Nevada
they have raised the price of killing
Cinnamon to ST.
GREATNESS stands upon precipice,
and II prosperity carries man ever SO
little over his poise it overbears and
dashes him to pieces.
The prophets often think they make the things
Yes; did the cock not crow, it never would be
day!
BARNUM has succeeded in obtaining
many rare and valuable curiosities, but
there's one thing he never yet exhibit
ed-a politicians chin in repose.
A PUNsT being requested to give a
specimen Of his art, asked for q subject.
''The King" "The King is not sub
ject," he replied.
CHE is such a coward that he wouldn't
dare to strike an average" was the sum-
ming up Of a very mild hammered man
By an acquaintance.
IT'S naught when woman humtugs man.
For that's the good old style;
But, oh, mans confidence in man
Makes countless thousands SMILE
A MICHIGAN man is raising lemons in
dollhouse. He has consumed five
tons of coal and has managed to
squeeze out four lemons.
A YOUNG man charged with being
lazy was asked if he took it from his
father. 81 think not" was his reply.
g Father 8 got all the laziness he ever
had"
WITH every one the expectation of
misfortune constitutes a dreadful pun
ishment. Suffering then assumes the
proportions of the unknown, which is
the souls infinite.
A CORRESPONDENT of the Baltimore
Sun has found in Florida a young girl
named Neuralgia. She was christened
after a bottle of medicine which her
mother esteemed.
hot 1o
makes soap that would "wash a poiti-
clans character white as snow" There
must be a good deal OF "lye" about
that soap.
A LITTLE girl asked minister; " Do
you think my father will go to heaven 90
Why, yes, my child. Why do you
ask ?" DWELL, because if he don't have
his own way, he won't stay long, I was
thinking"
If the James brothers carry six re-
wolves and two bowie knives each, be-
sides Henry rifle, Quad says he shall
peg right along in the Office and make
no attempts to secure that 81 900 reward.
Detroit Free Press.
The symptoms of spiritual decline
are like those which attend the decay of
our bodily health. It generally COM
mences with loss of appetite and dis
relish for spiritual food.
Twins, marm,' sez I, twins pc
once wrote the lamented Artemus
Ward. So chronicle we similar case
on King street on Thursday, which
makes four such events in Danbury
within six weeks. But the last twins
were calves.
HERE is good thing on the "tater
bug" Three men comparing notes:
One says, ''there are two bugs to every
stalk" A second says, "They have cut
down my early crop and are sitting on
the fence waiting for my late crop to
come up "Pshaw!' said the third,
"you know nothing about it. [ passed
a seed store the other day and saw the
bugs looking over the books to see who
had purchased seed potatoes.
"MoTHER wants to know if you won't
please to lend her your preserving ket-
tle-'caNse as how she want to pre-
serve?'' "We would with pleasure,
boy, but the fact is, the last time we
lent it to your mother she preserved it
SO efectually that we have never seen it
SluCe. w Ell, you ueeou y NC % sassy
about your old kettle, mother wouldn't
have troubled you agin, only we seed
you have new one.
"WHY, Ichabob, I thought you got
married more'n a year ago" ''Well,
Aunt Jerush, it was talked of, but [
found out that the girl and all her folks
were opposed to it, and so just gave
'em all the mitten and let the thing
drop"
IT looks bad to see dog preceding
his master down street, and calmly turn
down the stairs to the first saloon he ap-
proaches. It shows there is something
wrong, something lacking, deplorable
tendency on the part of the dog.
HER shawl was as sable as night.
Her gloves were as dark as her shawl,
And her jewels-that flashed in the light
Were black funeral pail
Her robe had the hue of the rest
(How nicely it fitted her shapeD
And the grief that was heaving her breast