, 1875-12-19

And teu,pts, With feignea. dissuasirs cor.
Tho gentle violence Of the Joy.
-Caxr1dge.
| SYMPTOMS OF OLD.mA,plsHNEss.
A Scotch paper thus detaiIs them:
When woman begins to drink her tea With
out suGat-thht's symptom.
When = woman gives sigh Oh hearing of
wedding-that's symptom.
When woman begins to say that she's refus
ed many IN offer-thats . symptom. u.
l. When wonau begins to say what = dreadful
set OF creatures men are aud tha: she wouldn'
ba bothered with one for Ill the world--that's
symptom.
When woman begins to hsve little dor
trottng after her-thats symptom.
| When woman begins to bavo = cat at be-
elbow at mealtiinea, and gives 1t Bneetenell mill
that's symptom.
When woman begins to be dshaned to takt
| OF her bonnet in q gentleman's COMPANY be-
| cause She's no cap on-that's symptom.
| When woman begins to change her shoes
every timo she comes into the house After vail
that's SYMPTOM.
Whom woman begins to say that a SERVANT.
lass has no business to have sNeetheart-thas'a
| symptom.
When = woman begins to rub her fingers over
The chairs and tables to see IL they are dusty
that's symptom.
| Wien woman begins to 60 to bed with her
stockings and flannel nightcap on-thats a
symptom.
When woman beeids to pnt hef HnEers be-
fore her mouth wheh talking to any ote for fear
that they should see she's losing her teeth-
that's symptom.
When woman begins to talk about rheu-
uatism in her knees and elboMB--that's eymp-
tom.
When'a woman begins to find fault with her
looktng-glass, and says it does not show the fea-
lures right-that's symptom
When woman begins talking about cold
drafts and stops up all tile crevices Of the doors
and Hindows-that's symptom.
HOW THE WIDOW CAUGHT HIM.
a gentleman Of An autobiographioaf turn re-
lates how he MAS instructed in the custom Of
taking toll, BY spr1ghtly widow, during NOON
light sleigh-ride with merry party. He says /:
"Ihe lovely Widow L. sat in tue SANG sleigh,
under the Same buiralo-robo. With me-"
,"oh Oh don't, don't! "she exclaimed, as we
came tc the first bridge, at the same time catch.
Ing me by the arm and turning her yelled face
toward me, while het little eyes trinkled
through the moonlight.
"Don's what2" l asked; "1'm not doing any
"Well but Thought you were going to take
TOLL" replied tho widow.
"Toll?"' rejoiusd. swhat's that?"
swell, I declared" i" cried the widow, her clear
laugh ringing out above tue music Of the bells,
"you pretend you don't know what toll Isl"
Indeed don't them 1 said, laughing; "ex-
plain. il you p1ease."
"You never heard, then" said the widow.
most provokingfy-ft you never heard that, when
We are on sleigh-ride the gentlemen always
that is, sometimes-wheo they croas BRIDGE
call kiss. and claim it toll. But never pay it,
I said that I never heard Of it before but
when we came to the next bridge claimed the
toll, and the widows struggles to hold the veil
over her face we're not enough to tear it. Atlsss
the reil was removed. her round, rosy face WAS
turned directly toward mine, and in the clenr
light Of frosty moon the toll wsa taken, for the
first time in my experience. Soon ne cams 70 =
long BRIDGE With several arches; the widow said
it was Of no use to resist . man who would haze
his own Nay, 30 she paid the toll without = mur-
mnr.
"But you won't take toll for every arch, wilt
you :" she SAID, 90 archly that could NOT fail to
exact all ny dues; and that Was the beginning
Of my oouttahip.
THE RESULT OF a GAME or CARDS.
The Litobfeld {ky.) journal says: "a gen
tlenlan and his 1ifa who reside in this county
went short time s,noe to visit ne1ghbor, with |
intention to stay all night. After supper the
host proposed q game OF cards to his guest, to |
which the latter assented, and they sat down to !
play. The wife OF the visitor being religiously |
Inclined, raised remonstranoe against the |
,auae but this WAS d,srezaried bv her husband, |
,ha then became yery much a1eited. and
'hreatoned to burn the cards il they contin-
led to play. At last her husband turned to
ler. and said: guess lm wearing the
'5eeones now. nnI 1ou uon "1s iss. 70 re mo
,cr ,nnnet and 90 home At once'' Sha took him At
lis word, and all that night her lonely pillow
ras wet with tears of bitter anguish called forth
" the knowledge of her husbands wiokedness.
Next morning the husband, uho in the mean
ima had been nursing his wrath, went home and
old bis wife that she had disgraced him. AID
low she could pack her traps ana leave his bed
nd board forever. Remembrance waa in vain,
nd sho. sorro rfu1ly departed. That night the
husband retired ohis widowed bed-to think, not
ret for his LsstY expulsion Of lis companion
assed through his mind. Presently he heard 4
entie tap at the door. Come ip,' said he; she
oor opened. and hls VIE $1,000 upon the
;ssnu,. Hes' .; y mht uat ,. ~ "' ,nth;so
e;., ahe' Mako ma some cofrea.' eaid I'D.
b, / rLe proceeded to do With mora than usual |
'Mrity, and nothing more MAS said OF their dls-
g 'ement.