Weekly Trinity journal., 1875-01-23
Weaverville, January %, 1875.
A BOLT ALwAws IN ORDER.

Squills declares that his wife is always /
taking some mean advantage of him.
I" The best of women in the world, SIR"
says Squills, but now and then she will
be mean, and she can't help it."
"Last Sunday at breakfast" says Mr..
Squills, "she was as smiling as a basket
OF chips"
"Are your chops done to your liking,
Squills, dear ?"
Deliciously. my love-"
Il broilcd them myself, dear
81 knew it was going to be hot" said
Squills, "and when got into the hall to
! ave, Mrs. Squills was there with my
hat in one hand and my overcoat in the
other"
'Squills, DEAR she began.
81 thought it time to pitch in here"
said Squills, $50 l said quietly:
How much, Mrs. Squills Out with
it, my love-
Mr.. Squiils, don't be unmanly, sir, /
beg, not to say ridiculous. Gussie wants
silk dress to go to church in: the poor
child really isn't decent" You are very
sorrry"-Well, so you ought to be-
"Let her say her prayers at home =? 4"
No, Mr.. Squills, she shan't stay at home
and she shan't say her prayers and, Mr..
you're enough to aggravate saint, and
your conducts disgusting, and it's enough
to drive woman to bolt right off to Chi
cggo and get a divorce
~ thought this a good time to fire off
my pet joke" said Squills, SO L said =
Mrs. Squills, bolt is always in ORDER
Then | bolted myself, for Mrs. Squills
comes of a lighting family.
When | went home that evening,
Gussie, dear child, played all my Often
bach music aad knew | was in for the
dress, only | wanted to hold out till morn
just for the looks Of the thing.
For five years after we were married
Mrs. S. would persist in looking under
the bed for man. It's the same man
every woman looks for, / suppose, be.
cause they all do it. Well, failing to find
the man, Mrs. Squills gave up in disgust
and took to something else. Mrs. Squills
weakness is boiling the door. Mr.. s..
have you boted the door p is always the
last thing at night.
"This particular night Mrs. Sqnills
was very dignilied and distant. You
wounded my feelings in their tenderest
point this morning ; aud cannot forget
though you did, that am your wife, sir,
and the mother Of your children, Mr.
Squills.'
THAT was pitching it uncommonlJ
strong, you know" said Squils, "and
was about to surrender, when Mrs. S
turned off the gas and coiled herself up r
pet somewhere on the outside Of the bee
rail. Not even good night, Squills.'
felt pretty bad about it, / can tell you
but pretty soon | went to sleep, and after
while experienced kick in the back
10 if some playful mule had been tanning
me. Perhaps it was necessary us l al
ways sleep hard.
Mr.. Squills, at last | heard her say
Mr.. Squills, have you bolted the door
Now leave it to any man if that i
the correct thing for the mother Of fam
lily to do? OF course got up and boltet
the door, and / said Mrs. Squils
why didn't you think Of boiling the doc
before / went to sleep, and not wake
man up in the middle of cold night t,
do it?' And what do you suppose he
answer was
why, Mr.. Squills, said she, tho
bolt was always in order'
"What did | say? What could
say? And the worst of it ALL" sale
Squlls, "I'll be hanged if she wasn'
laughing at me. ."-Boston Courier.