New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-05-23
A Comical Newspaper Hoax.

A Comical Newspaper Hoax.
The following is taken from Grant 8
History o. the Newspaper Press About
the same time as that to which have been
referriDg-the beginning of the last cen
tury-the debate, which was on the CUES
ton OF the employment OF English laborers,
being one evening unusually dull. Morgan
O'Sullivan, a reporter Of that period. who
had a short time before been imported from
Tipperary; said TO the only other reporter
IN the gallery at that time that he felt
drowsy, and that he would be after taking
a little bit OF nap if he would tell him,
when he awoke. anything which might take
place. The other, whose name was Peter
Finnerty, agreed, and Morgan, in a moment,
was fast locked IN the arms of Morpheus
After an hour had elapsed, Morgan opened
his eyes and interrogated his friend thus:
HAS anything bappenedf'
$40 be sure there has," said the other.
HAS there, by the powers,' exclaimed
Morgan, pricking up his ears in the pleai.
tude of bis anxiety TO learn what it was.
Yes, Morgan, and something very i'm
portant, too"
'Be .abbers, then. and why don't you be
afther telling it me at once! What was it
abOut!'
about the virtues OF the Irish potato,
MorganF'
WAS it the Irish potato you said, Peter"
The Irish potato and d most eloquent
speech it was"
Thunder and Lightning, then, why don't
YOU tell it ne at once!'
I'm read it from my notebook, Morgan,
and you can take It down as l go on" said
Peter.
"Och, its myself, shure, that's ready at
any time to write what mimber saws
about our prat!es. Are you ready to be gin?"
"Quite ready said Peter.
''Now, them" said Morgan. with an en-
ergy which strangely contrasted with the
previous langour Of his manner-"now,
then, Peter. my boy"
Peter, affecting to read from his note
book, commenced thus:
THE honorable member said that if,
"Ocb, be aisy bit,' interrupted Morgan;
''who was the honorable mimber 2"
Peter, Lesitating for a moment, "Was it
his name You asked Sure it was Mr.. Viii
berfOrce."
Mr.. Wherefore Och, very we'll then
Peter resumed: my. Wilberforce said
that it always appeared 70 him beyond all
question that the great cause why the Irish
laborers were, as body so much stronger
and capable of enduring so much greater
physical fatigue than the English was the
SURPRISING virtues of their potato. And
he
"Peter, my dear fellow shouted Morgan
at the mention of the lIish potato, his
countenance lighting up with ecstacy as
he spoke, Peter. NY dear fellow, this is so
important that We must give it III the first
person.
"Do YOU think sol" said Peter.
"Throth, and de-" answered Morgan
"Very WE'LL" said the other.
pater then rpsumpG UApH I have M
doubt" continued DIR. WilberfOrce that
had it been my lot 10 be born and reared
in --'
"Did the mimber say reared 2" interrupt
ed Morgan, exultingiy. evidently assocat-
ing the word with the growth of potatoes
in his own "blessed country"
Faith, and he did say reared" observed
the other, who then resumed.
"'Had it been my lot to he born and
reared in Ireland, where my food would
have principally consisted OF the potato
that most nutritious and salubriOus root
instead of being the poor, lntirm, shriyeled,
stunted creature YOU, sir, and the honorable
gentlemen now behold me, would have
been tall, stout, athletic man, and able to
carry an enormous weight"
Here Morgan O'Sulllvan observed, look
ing his friend eagerly in the face: Faith,
Peter, and that's wha. l call thrue elo-
quence! Go on
II hold" continued Mr.. Wilberforce,
"that root to be invaluable; and the man
who first cultivated it in Ireland, regard
as benefactor Of the first magnitude to
his country. And more than that, my
decided opinion is that never until we grow
potatoes in England in sufficient quantities
to feed all our laborers will these laborers
be so able bodied class as the Irish.
{ Hear, hear from both sides OF. the House.)'
well, By st. Patrick, but that bates
everything" observed Morgan, on finishing
the other members cried Hear heart did
they"
The otuer members cried Hear, hear"
answered Peter.
In a quarter Of an hour afterward the
House rose.
Peter went away direct to the office of
the paper-:he Morning Chronicle-for
which he was employed while Morgan, in
perfect ecstacies at the eulogium which had
been pronounced on the virtues OF the pota-
toes of 'ould Ireland" ran in breathless
haste to public house where the reporters,
who should have been on duty for the other
morning papers, were assembled, aud, hav-
ing communicated to them the important
speech which they had by their absence
missed, they asked him to read over his
notes to them, which, of course, Morgan
readily did. They copied them verbatim,
and not being al the time in the best posi-
BILE condition for Judging of the probability
of Mr.. WilbertoIce delivering such speech,
they repaired TO their respective offices,
and actually gave a copy of it into the
hands Of the printer. Next morning it ap.
peared in ali the papers. except the
one with which Peter Finner.y was
connected. The sensation and surprise i.
created in town exceeded everything. Had
1t only appeared in one or two of the papers
persons OF ordinary intelligence must at
once have concluded that there was some
mistake about the matter. But its appear
ance in all the journals except one, and that
one not SO well known at the time as at
other periods OF its history, the fact forced,
as il were, people to the conclusion that it
must have been actually spoken. The in
terence was plain. Everybody, while re-
GREETING that the necessity should exist,
saw that no other course was left but to
put Mr.. Wlberforce at once into straight
jacket and provide him with keeper.
In the evening the House met as usual,
and Mr.. Wilbertorce, on the Speaker taking
the chair, rose and begged the indulgence
OF the House for a few moments to a matter
which concerned it as well as himself per-
sonaliy.
Every honorable member he observed,
''has doubtless read the speech which l am
represented as having made on the previous
night. With the permission of the House l
will read it. Here the honorable member
read the speech, amid deafening roars of
laughter II can assure honorable men,
bers no one could have read this speech with
more surprise than myself did this morning
when ! found the papers on my breakfast
table. For myself, personally, l care but
little about it, though if were capable of
uttering such nonsense as is here put into