The Portland daily press., 1875-03-22
The Origin Of Man.
After Darwin.
CHAPTER I,

Twas lovely summer morning in the year
9.10u before Christ. The woods of Senegam-
bia were clothed in the fairest costume; the
lovley birds were chirping and singing their
morning lays; the sky was one vast sheet of
blue. Everything, in short, was full Of sweet
ness and light, except the lovely Adeza de
Chlmpanzee. She was in the dumps Moodily
she rubbed her shoulder against a huge PALM
tree. and while performing that act heaved
vast sigh. just at that moment her mamma
dropped from the tree above her.
MY daughter" said the Duchess de Chin
paDzee, why that sigh?"
''Ah mamma, look at me-" said Lady Ade.
liza. 'See how different am from the rest Of
our tribe. See how white am becoming"
My daughter" said the Duchess, languidly,
as she seated herself on a convenient boulder,
You should be proud of the difference. We
are higher race"
Il don't know, mamma. See what little
caudal appendages we have; all the other
folks can hang from trees by their tails, but we
are compelled to sit on the limbs"
I'VE are advancing, my dear. You are
whittier than am; you can talk in your youth,
scould not till middle age, and your .grand-
mother, as you know, can only grunt it. You
are ,1o,, moving to higher sphere"
Well, mamma, none of our folks will mar
ry me, said Lady Adeliza, pouting.
mo, my child; it has been decreed that there
should be a selection of the fttest in marriage
We have offered you to the Prince dOurang
Outang. who is even whittier than you are, as a
'Oh, mamma" gushed the Lady Adeliza
''that's splendid. Win he come soon?'
Restrain youself. People o. high blood and
short caudal appendages never get excited. He
will be here in a short time"
Lady Adeliza went away to look for cocoa
nuts; the Duchess sat on the rock, and retieo-
lively scratched her head
CHAPTER II.
The Duke de Chimpanzee was Chief OF
very large tribe. 1T he had been ia the show
business he would have made his everlasting
fortune: He had but one child, the Lady Ade-
liza. and, as she would inherit the live stock
over which he ruled, many of the neighboring
chiefs desired to marry her. Her parents, how
ever, resolved that she should be, if possible,
the fountain head of the new race TO which all
their traditions taught them they were work,
ing up They determined that she should wed
the Prince dOurang Outang. The Duke pro-
posed the matter to the Prince.
"Aw?" said the Prince, as he adjusted his
eye glass; SIS it nice?'
''She is very beautiful replied the Duke.
"Awr" said the Prince, "give it-aw-Adeli-
"a, has she much stamps?'
II shall give her ali Ethiopia" replied the
Duke.
81 will-aw-step down, and--aw-look at
surprise, you know"
This was agreed upon, and the Duke depart
ed.
The Prince knew his worth; he was quite
Wultt. anu ne WAS 1O6 trOuDl6Q WITH LDe SilRub-
est particle of caudal appendage, but Ethiopia
was big prize and he resolved to win it,
One week after the Duke had offered his
aughter the Prince started for Senegambia
with the intention of lacking at the fair face Of
ady Adeliza.
CHAPTER III.
The Prince was wandering through the
woods of Senegambia, gaily humming:
"Pd be a butterfly
Born in bower"
when his eyes fell upon lovely chimpanzee,
sitting in a shallow brook, sucking a cocoanut.
She was the loveliest creature he had ever
seen. His heart was touched at once. He
raised his eye-glass and stared at her until her
eyes fell in modest confusion.
Fair chImpanzee," said he, Twill you not
aw-tell me your-aw-nameH
The Duchess de Chimpanzee, who had wit
messed the meeting from behind O clump OF
bushes, chuckled, and slid off on ber left ear.
"Adeliza," sighed the Prince, "thou art
aw-beautiful! Wilt thou aw-marry me?"
The Lady Adeliza threw the remains of her
cocoanut at the head of Chimpanzee who
was loafng in neighboring tree, fell into the
arms of the Prince, and gently murmured, II
am all thine"
They were married in great splendor. The
Right Rev. Bishop Baboon, assisted by the
Rev. Simiadar Ape, performed the ceremony.
The choir sang that lovely anthem, Monkey
married the baboon's sister," Lady AdeliEa
and her parents rubbed noses, and then tho
bride started on her tour on an elephant with
one trunk.
CHAPTER ".
The seasons changed; summer lapsed into
autumn, autumn into winter. and winter into
spring. Then there was great rejoicing, for
the Lady Adeliza gave the Prince an heir.
The child, however, was an anomaly in thas
region; it had no tall it had fiat feet, it had q
white skin, it had no hair on its body. All
the wise men examined it. 1t was not an
ourapg-outang, it was not chimpanzee; evil
IDENTIFY it was a new species Then family
conclave was called.
''What shall we call it?' asked everybody.
The Duchess de Chimpanzee, who was
languidly making mud pies, said:
coll it-Man -