davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22
RATES OF ADVERTISING:

Cards or communications of personal character, if admissible at all, double tine usual rates, and strictly in advance.
 Communications for the Agricultural de- partmcnt should be handed in by l2 III. Fri day. Those intended for the Editorial or local departments by Wednesday noon. Advertisements by Wednesday morning.
 special notices double the above rates Editorial notices twenty cents line for the first and fifteen cents for each addi- ton insertion. All transient advertisements cash in advance. Marriage and obituary notices not to exceed four lines, free; over our twenty centt per line.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

Rev. Olympia Brown, who is the pastor of a church at Bridgeport, Connecticut, has husband, and you would naturally suppose that his name is Brown, but it isn't, for if it is Brown he is afraid to say so, and calls himself Willis. When sister Brown and brother Willis get to the gates of Paradise and attempt to go il as wife and husband, it is to be feared that it will take more time for them to explain things to the satisfaction of St. Peter, than the hurry of business will permit him to give them.-Courier Journal.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

The Journal of Commerce says: lowing to our monetary system we arc at a disadvantage with all the rest of the world, and New York feels it more than any other northern city. Ten years have elapsed since the war was ended, and our metropolis has gone back during the interval in nearly ev- cry form of commercial activity.
 The evidence cannot be con cealed from others, even if we would blind our own eyes to the truth; and he is no true friend to our city who latters the vanity Of our people with false colorings re garding our condition. From the very nature of its far-reaching connections and intimate sympa- thies with out side industries and activities--now more or less pros trate or paralyzed-New York has felt more keenly than any other financial centre the general de. pression. And if some remedy isnot soon applied this suffering will become chronic, and tho prostration will become perma nent."
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

It is shown by the best author ities that the insects which are causing so much alarm are not grasshoppers, but locusts. They are designated Rocky Mountain locusts to distinguish them from other species, such as the seven year locust, etc. They are indi- genous to the dry, sandy regions of Montana, Idaho and other far western states, and the colonies which in leng interval take their flight to other states to the east, rapidly degenerate, lose the pow CT of propagation, and become extinct in two or three years. The last visitation was in 1866. The tribes now wandering in Missouri, we are assured, cannot penetrate farther east.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

After all the great excitement stirred up by Secretary Bristow about the whisky frauds on the revenue is about to end in smoke. The witnesses don't seem to want to testify much and it is reported the suits are to be drop ped. We shall not be surprised if this information proves correct. Sensible men have ceased to eX- pect anything like reform to come out of the present administration, and very likely the whisky fraud furor was blow to make presi dential capital, and has come to grief.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

One of our young men when he married didn't want to patronise the baker. He said bread tasted ever so much better made by her own dear hands. This delighted her. But when she wanted a scuttle of coal and he suggested that she get it, as the fire would feel so much better if the coal was brought Tn by her own dear hands she was disgusted. Women are so changeable.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

The rush of immigration to Cal ifornia has been checked. Thous- ands of eastern people had to re- turn home for the want of work, and scarcely any one was satisfied with the climate. Arkansas and the South generally offers many advantages over the West, and Northern people who come to this state will receive a hearty wei come from all good citizens.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

A toast to Queen Victoria,- Here is your good health, Your Majesty, and your family's; may they live long and prosper; may your boys learn to keep out of bad company, and lay up money; may your disagreeable Russian relatives trouble you us little as is consistent with the usages of good society; Australia continue to pay rent on the nail; may your cistern never run dry, and may your coal pile never give out.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

"We can detect the old rebel yell," says the Corning Express, Gin the applause that cheers on the democratic cause in Ohio" Then why the dickens don't you throw down your gun and take to your heels, as you always used to do?-Courier Journal.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

Matchless Maid-thc kitchen girl out of lucifers.
 What is the form of an escaped parrott-a polly gone.
 At what season did Eve eat the apple2-Early Tn the fall.
 What kind of robbery is not dan gerous? A safe robbery of course.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22
Where to Live.

All good men should live in Archangol.
 All angry men in Ireland. All murdercrs in Kildare. All circus men n Somerset. All brokers in Stockholm. All cold men in Chili. All horticulturists in Botany Bay.
 All wags in the Bay of Funday. All Geometricians in Cuba. All fools in Folly Island. All perfumers in Muscat, or Cologne.
 All brewers in Malta. All gluttons in Turkey. All beggars in Hungary. All laconic men in Laconia. All mourners in Siberia or Wales.
 All confectioncrs in Canada. All children in Crimea.  All oil spectators in Greece. All gamblers in Farce Isles. All stumblers in Tripoli. All curious men in Pekin. All shoemakers in Bootan. All soldiers in Armenia or War saw.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

Beef has come to beef hash ion able.
 Fruit for balloonists-Currents in the air.
 Fortune turns all things to the advantage of those on whom she smiles.
 Hints to yonng bachelors: Pay your bills before you pay your addresses.
 Politeness of mind consists in thinking chaste and refined thoughts.
 Vested interest-money in the waistcoat pocket.
 Why is q side saddle like four quart jug? Because it holds q gallon.
 The saying "excuse haste and bad pen" has been attributed to a pig who ran away from home.
 Jackson, Mississippi, is just now excited about mysterious hand." Five aces, perhaps.
 A Boston paper says manufac turers have commenced to make band boxes seven feet high in preparation for the coming bon net.
 An Iowa paper says: "Wire worms?" We give it up. Why are they?
 A mother-in law is not a heav. enly body, but she has been known to eclipse a honeymoon.
 The business of mankind would be at Q stand if we should dc nothing for fear of miscarriages in matters of uncertain event.
 The mean temperature is what disgusts man with every climate,
 The duty of the hour--to take care of the minutes and make up the day.
 It is a strange fact that when people indulge in high words they use low language.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

"You may talk" says the Mil waukec News, about marrying an heiress, a delicate human blossom a fairy, an angel; but give us a girl like Nancy Terwilliger of La Crosse, who ran out of doors the other uight, and straddling a horse, yelled out: Good night old man; I'm off for the spellin' matchp"
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

The new building of the New York Tribune is nine stories high. When a man goes in and wants to know who wrote that article, he is told that the author is on the top floor with the elevator broken.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

A famous auctioneer, after ex- hausting the language of praise in extolling a certain gentleman's park which had to fall under his hammer, said he was bound as an honest man, not to conceal the only drawbacks to the property, which were the litter made by the rose leaves and the perpetual din kept mp by the nightingales.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

The DEMOCRAT is the best advertising sheet in the State. Its extensive circulation in the Southwest, among the planters, mer- chants and business men, renders it cspe- cially desirable to those who wish to reach the general and substancial public by ad- vertising their respective business and in- terests.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

An obliging gentleman, who thinks that personal favors do not cost much, while they make friends, vas applied to by col ored man fora certificate of char acter, by which he might get a situation. The testimonial prov ed to be more satisfactory than Scipio himself had expected;
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22
THE DEMOCRAT

Has the largest circulation of any paper in the State, outside of Little Rock, and is not surpassed by any other paper in the South west being circulated in nearly every town and city in the south and west, and read by an intelligent, enterprising people.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

'What's that on your back, !" once asked London eockney of humpback yankee sailor on q ship in the London docks. Bun ker Hill d-n yen' was the reply.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

Rape is becoming a crime of frequent occurrence in and around St. Louis. The law of Missouri punishes this horrible crime mere ly by confinement in the peniten- tiary. This punishment, the Dispatch thinks, has no terror for the guilty brutes, and advises the people, in such cases, until the State provides adequate punish ment, to be a law unto themselves and hang or burn at the stake this class of malefactors.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22
Odds and Ends.

or prevail address yourseii to 1hc passions; it is by them that man kind is to be taken. Our repentance is not so much sorrow for the i'll we have done as fear of the i'll that may happen to us.
 Judge individuals from your own knowledge of them, and not from their sex, profession or de- nomination.
 The gold found in the Black Hills is said to be one of very Siouxperior quality.
 Why is pig the most provi- dent of animals2 Because he al- ways carries spare-rib or two about him.
 Mir. Delane, editor of the Lon don Lines, retires from journal ism and will be knightcd by the Queen Good K) night.
 It is noticed that fat men are as a general thing, well-to do in the world. That's because they don't allow any lien on them, you know.
 It is said that Brigham Young has acquired the title of General from having been called "Brigy, dear,' so often by his numerous wife.
 Mrs. Eva Joyce, of Oswego, has sued Mr. Albert Quonce for $1 ,000 for attempting to kiss her. Joyce that are rarest are Eva the most expensive.
 "Jemima," said a fashionable miss to her friend, Il think Char ley Potts is perfectly splendid; he can get on my gloves, and wears spit curles."
 An experienced "coquet" once said to young man who touched her foot under the table: "Ilease don't; my heart is old and my boots are new"
 "Meat me at the spelling match at Muesic Hall,' was the inyita- tion written probably by one who stepped down and out on the first round.
 An exchange says of bright little girl out in California that drank . pint of quicksilver, she must have been q good looking (g)lass.
 "One is taught to cook, but he is born to roast, especially with the thermometer at 115," is the way the New York Herald refers to the heat in that city.
 What I cannot forgive in any body is sauntering and doing nothing at all, with a thing so precious as time and so irrecoy erable when lost.
 Perseverance is not deserving of blame or praise, as it is merely the continuance of tastes and feel ings which we can neither create nor destroy.
 A man may occasionally kiss the wrong woman by mistake, but when he makes a practice of it, the right woman finds it out, and that's what bothers.
 'Why, Jennie, you look good enough to cat" said a loving hus- band to his wife one morning at breakfast. "Well, I'm eating as fast as I can, ain't IF"
 It is said that the bite of young lady will produce hydro phobia, but the young fellows dangling over the gates O nights are as reckless as ever.
 Dr. Hall says people should not spring out of bed the moment they awaken. And we agree with the doctor. In these cases late spring is always desirable.
 The boy, who ran away from school to ''go fishing all alone," and caught himself in the lip, says he's got enough of fishing on his own hook.
 "You take the scandal and give us the grasshopper," is the de spairing cry of a Brooklyn news paper to an Indianapolis cores pondent who threatens some more "bottom facts.'
 It is said that cloves sprinkled in an umbrella will keep it from moths. But what long suffer
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

Why is . drawn tooth like things forgotten2-Because it's out of the head.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22

Why cannot temperance man kiss jewess? He has sworn not to taste jewlips,
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22
TERMS.

l year Gin advance) coco. $l 90 months ...'....'' 70
 Single copy, ) cents.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22
The HOppergrass.

The HOppergrass.
 The grasshopper; He cometh;
 He cometh numerously;
 He brings his family;
 Also his relatives;
 And his friends;
 Likewise his mother-in-law; And her friends;
 As well as those that hate her; And they are legions; The wisdom of man computeth them not;
 They spread over the land; And there is no place where they are not;
 They nip the springing grass, They devour the fragrant onion sprout;
 And the savory.celery;
 The wheat field is left desolate; And no green thing remaineth where the hopper hath been; His pathway is the abomina- tion of dcsolation;
 The ranchman mourneth for his green fields that were but are not;
 Mayhap he swearth;
 Possibly he sayeth audibly, and crieth aloud-dameth.
 What careth the hoppergrass? It troubleth him not;
 Ask the prophets of Kansas; And the wise men of Nebraska; And they will answer likewise; But the relief committee agent lifteth up his voice and calls the hopper blessed.
 The patriotic grasshopper com eth from the mythical western land where the glorious orb oi day sinks in roseate splendor to his evening couch.
 The realm of Brigham!
 The land of Mormons;
 Whence cometh many bad things and some that are good; The hopper is one of them, But he is not good;
 He cometh in the latter sum- mer days;
 In sun darkening myriads; As the winds come when the forests are rended;
 As the waves come when na- vies are stranded;
 Like unto q democratic victory. Denver News.
The Russellville Democrat., 1875-07-22
ARCHAEOLOGICAL JOURNAL
A First-Class Illustrated Magazine. Devoted to Science, Literature
 and General Intelligence.

DeNotcu to ocleHce, Literature
 and General Intelligence. .PhrenO|OgvHEana@ssil vHn@s Brain the and Iec9, j;
 6J tion and Mature of all the Organs; with directions for cul- tivating, developing, improving and restraining them.
 PhsOgnOmFSS:s s$% pss $ ssi: ssfsaS 'a Hs;5 the Human Face, on Scientific Prin- ciples.
 Clhnolon,,-Or,t the Natural History [IOIOgySSfe Maqi G5.,amig origi" snd Man. Man, of Life in different Tribes ard Ma tions, with different Temperaments and pictorial illustrations.
 PhysOOgyiFl,ssaH;Ss%ss '", ''' .; ;a.ss,9% ': " or Children, and the Right Manage- ment of Lunatics, the Insane. Pris- oners and others.
 uinNvonhioo1l 1lVen or all the lead UIUp pIdlllllGSing Men and Women
 o of the World. VolF Nulluxo-lnstructive articles OGll-UulllIIGon Self-lmprovement, Memory, Choice of lursuits, Our National Resources, [inoIIu Much useful information on TIlldllV the leading topics of the day
 .J-Politieal, not partisan Religious, not Education al, keiormatory, Agricultural, Com mercial, etc., will be given. and no efforts spared to make TnE PupENo- LOGICAL for 1874, the most interest Ing ever published.
 TERMS.-Monthly, S3a year. in advance. Clubs of ten or more S3 each. Single numbers, 30 cents F-
 The most liberal premiums arc given. Address, "'0
 , <. R. WELLS.
 Publisher, Ss9 Broadway, N. Y.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07

ANOTHER Observation-Disclosures
Death and Taxes have been coupled
together as solid truism, and have
been considered the only two sure
things on earth. Acknowledging
this from our babyhood and knowing
its force, still things will change and
additions will be made to all certain
ties, and right here we think we can
add one more certainty to Death and
Taxes, and that is the Bart. Able.
We really think from this boats
sticking performances, she has the
patent claim to be placed in the new
trio of "sure certainties," and that
hereafter the truism should run:
s'Death, Taxes, and the Bart. Able"
Though we add her to the team, we
only do it in the certainty line, for in
all other respects there are more
pleasurable sensations about her and
her crew than attaches to her grim
partners, and we cling to her as she
clings to our trade.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07
MACHINES
~ LIBERAL TERMS
At i.
FERGUSON & SCHNACK'S.

The New Town HALL AT AVER
This elegant structure is now COM
pleted. In beauty of design it sur
passes anything Of its kind in the
State. Constructed of brick and dark
marble it is as permanent as it is
charming. The English architects
have adorned it, in subdued colors,
which please without firing the eye.
DR.. j. C. Aver built and gave it to
the town in acknowledgment of the
distinction they conferred upon him
in taking his name. Although it is
a generous gift, still the hearty good
wishes of a whole people are ofgreat-
er value, and the generous donor has
doubtless secured them Gordon
mass. Journal.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07
10 NEW SUBSCRIBERS

OUR FRIENDS and subscribers VIII DC
nleased to hear that we have perfected
arrangements with the Publishers OF
the INDUSTRIAL RECORD Of st.
Louis, whereby we are enabled to fur-
nish the DEMOCRAT and the INDUS
TRIAL RECORD, (both weekly) for
the low price of $3.50. We make this
offer for the purpose Of largely increas-
ing our circulation. Those who nave
been in the habit Of subscribing for a
foreign paper instead Of that published
in their own Parish, can now have both
for the price Of one. The 1NDUSIki-
AL RECORD is an Agricultural, Me-
chanical and Family Newspaper, OF SIX
teen pages, full Of choice reading, mar
ket reports, &C., costing alone $3.50 per
annum. We want the subscription OF
every farmer, merchant and mechanic
in the Parish for this spendid Offer
NOW is JUST THE TINE TO BEGIN.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07

FINE, ripe, free-stone peaches are
plentiful in Town, and what is more.
are Offering at christian prices, thus
placing them in the reach Of every
one here. They are retailing at 9 bit
a dozen, and come from Pineyille.
We are glad to note this, and in the
name of an injured people, return
thanks to the amateur gentlemen for
stepping to our luxurious rescue, and
shaming our side of the river ones,
who were asking twenty-five and even
thirty-five cents a dozen for their in
ferior peaches. Fruit, such as we
are alludlng to, are much needed here,
and when sold at reasonable prices,
prove to be Of great benefit to consul
mers; up to this breach they were an
expensive luxury, but now the poor
est can manage and afford to pur.
chase.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07

-SIxcE the LIST of the month, un-
der the new order of mail things from
Shreveport to Alexandria, we are in
a sad fix, never get our Daily Shreve-
port Times only when FIVE days old.
Before all this change we had it on
our table regularly inside Of forty
eight hours, on time with all the New
Orleans daiIies. Remember this, Mr..
Jewell. and change it at once.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07
THE JAIL FIRED.
q - !. y 2 "a

On last Wednesday night the Town
Bell rsng the fte'alarm, and in few
minutes Che fremen and citizens were
throag iHg around the Town Hall,
wondering where was the fire. All
were soon tod shat the Parish Jail
was on fire and that succor there was
needed. The Pacifcs, with their
Engine, the Hook and Ladder boys
with their Truck and the Bucketmen
with their buckets were soon at the
Jail, and commenced their work Of
operations. The wooden-room, as it.
is called, in the upper story of the
Jail, had been set on fire in the early
part Of the night by one of the pris-
oners, colored fellow answering to
the name of Pleasant Turner. This
had been done by dropping lighted
matches between the wooden and
brick walls through the ventilators
that are shaped like the letter Q, and
thus the scamp had succeeded in
kindling a fire which had not his
courage and that Of the other inmates
failed them, would have been smoth-
cred and roasted them alive for other
chimes. They gave the alarm Justify
and with will, which soon brought
the nearest neighbors to the scene.
These, at first, we're few and worked
at least an hour to check the fast
gathering flames, but to no avail
Then the fire bell was sounded and
the gathering firemen soon put an end
to the fire, by completely drowning
out the whole concern. To effect
this much damage in the shape Of
tearing down and breaking up had
had to be done, the damage Of which
has to be footed up by the Parish
A round little sum Of two hundred
dollars in script will do the thing.
due credit must be given to all con-
cerned for the manner they saved the
whole building, and the alacrity they
used in affecting the good work.
None of the prisoners escaped, there
were eight in the Jail at the time and
all darkies. All now for a while will
have to quarter in the large iron
room.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07
HOME DOTS.

Though We are in the midst OF
dull July, and verging on the dog
days of still duller August, yet with
us all along the line things might be
worse ana then not hurt. We can
CLEAN perceptibly our silver lining
shining brightly and can see assur-
ances of that fast better coming day.
This is no idle boast, but pleasant
facts, and every day we are buoyed
with these cheering events. Conf
dence seems to be restored here with
all of us, and all seem to be wide
awake to these facts, as well as us
who here jot them into print. Poll
tics, for while, and we hope for q
long while, are thrown to the dogs
and to the ambitious patriots, and
this respite is a pleasing manner and
memento by which we view the siIo-
alton and preach our better aims and
resolves. BY way ofrelief and sweet
relaxation from old troubles and sores
let our people spur up, join in the
music of the Railroad whistle, and
pour into Alexandria in their strength
and majesty, on Saturday, the 18th
of this present month. That is the
day of the Railroad meeting, and we
desire a meeting worthy Of old Ra-
pides. Come one, come all, and your
presence will grace and stamp these
Home Dots in the right way.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07

TIM telegraph line is now COM
pletel to Coushatta. The line will
be finished and in running order TO
Natchitoches in less than three weeks.
Where does Alexandria come in?
Dead beats, don't all talk at once.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07

Our country exchanges represent
the crops as good and promising eve
rywhere- good news indeed-we hope
it won't interfere with big expected
prices and spoil the cotton market OF
the world. We are glad, however,
that we can spread such news.
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07

-BRorHEn John Nicholas had a
big dip on the Attn Of July, and, con-
sidering that the better the deed the
better the day, he had a fair crowd
of singing and praying brothers and
sisters, and as ever put them through
othe word and the faith"
The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1875-07-07

--OLp Red seems at last, to be in
her falling mood, and since our last,
has got to 1t in real earnest. But
vet good navigation and plenty OF
water for the Bart. Able.