The Cairo bulletin. [volume] (Cairo, Ill.) 1872-1878, 1875-12-27
At HER AGAIN.
"Csntenuial'' Answers Mrs. .. !. D.,
sad elves Her n Rather severe
Grabbing.


zion from the pen of Mrs. s. j. s. Is one
which nothing short of well.developed,
scientific brain will ever be able to fathom,
Il indeed II can be fathomed at all. 1t
reminds Inc very forcibly Of Mark
Twain's first interview with Artemus
Ward, In which Artemus said 10 Twain
"You know the vein, the ledge, the thing
that contains the metal, whereby II con-
stitutes the medium between all other
forces, whether Of present or remote
agencies, so brought to bear in favor OF
the former against the latter, or the latter
against the former, or all. or both, or
comprising the relative difference exist
Ing within the radius whence eliminate
the several degrees of similarity to
which -"
Twain was ofcourse puzzled to get at
the point OF that sentence, although he had
no doubt but that 1t had q point--just so
my condition after reading Mrs. y. J. SIS
vague communication. 1t has a point,
no doubt, but fail to discover IL. She
begins by calling your humble cores
pendent all kinds of "airy nothings,"
which isn't kind in her, to say nothing
Of the lack Of courtesy. quote "a
weaker effort at retort or a poorer s%o~
for q defense could scarcely have been
force to bear with fIs"S9t your yM., entire s...
that to which you were driven when you
attempted to use the weapon Of your ad-
versary, which that adversary had
already hurled at you with an unerring
hand, and made it do full execution ia its
descent upon you" In clearness of point,
that is a successful rtval to the sentence
quoted from Artcmus Ward. What adj
Mrs. ). j. $. is fortunately
the only adversary the Centennial Asso-
citation has In Cairo-she has hurled her
would-be pen-crushers at us, but they
have effected us about as much as it dis
turbs duck to pour water OH its back,
md it Is merely egotism on her part, to
suppose she has done such execution as
'he speaks Of. While asserting that my
etter was of the Fuzz Ball description,
she tacitly disproves it, by the space she
in reply to it. You can always
determine "the effectiveness of the aim
BY the iluttering Of the BIRDS" and the
shower Of feathers in the Gazette, shows
plainly that the bird is wounded.
She then babbles of cook books-son.e.
thing which we as society have nothing
to do with, but. which would recom-
mend her to study, in manner that is
Suggestive Of the thought that her Christ
mas dinner must have been a failure,
and left her feeling cross and envious of
those ladies who hut studied their cook
books to some purpose. Then she brings
up the gossiping subject again. Well,
can only stand by what have already
said-that the worst gossips that l have
ever known, were women who were SO
they did not approve of
and would not assist with anything out
side of their own families. Mrs. $. j. ).
evidently belongs to the class Of perpet-
ual fault-finders. Does any one know OF
she does approve OF, saving her
own attempts at sarcasm! A town COM
posed OF such people wOsld soon have
its streets overgrown with grass and its
population in q kind OF lethargy. 1t
takes such people AS the Centennial
workers to compose thriving, goa
headative city. They don't sit down and
grumble because people don't do this,
or don't do that, but get up and help ill
the world with lite and energy. Crhat
is modest () enough to emanate from
Mrs. s. J. 5. hersclf.)
The honest-penny affair seems to dis
turb the lady more than anything else,
though why it should Is more than !
can penetrate, for warrant that her
pennies never 90 to assist in any public
enterprise. The pleasure given we con-
slider fair exchange for the money we
charge tor our entertainments, Just the
same as II Is for all other societies. Nc
one is compelled to patronlze them,
ut least W. never try to bring either men,
tai or physical pressures to bear upon
people, to force them into our society.
Our husbands do with generosity Won
derful to Mrs. S. j. 81, allow us to use
butter, sugar, &C., to make cakes, and
even furnish us with money to buy other
eatables for our toa parties. What then
Does Mrs. S. j. s. want such profligacy
stopped? Hadn't she better apply to the
councilmen, and have them pass an ordi-
nance prohibiting wives from getting
their money out of their own husbands
pockets? 1t seems to be gall and worm
wood to her, that men are so foolish as to
give money to their wives for anything
but the bare necessities of life; yet in
spite OF all her bitter feelings, men will
probably 60 OH being liberal to them as
long as time shall last.
When Mrs. s. J. S. begins to earn hel
own nickels, would advise her to take
up the lite insurance business; she take,
so naturally to the "policy" theme, Civ
ing US dose Of 1t In all Of her letters
though 1t Is SO wrapped up or sugar
coated In mysteries, that we fail to dis
cover whether 1t Is intended for an cmeti'
or kind OF soothing iyrup.
She wants to know II our association
have "a sly project on foot to convey tn,
bones OF some distinguished Ca'ro,te, II