Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-04-21
NO. Is.
VARIETIES.


A matter Of form-Fitting dress.
The lady who took everybody's eye
must q lot of them.
Pickles in glazed pans, cross dogs,
and delays, are dangerous.
A statistician estimates that court
ships average three tons Of coal each.
The coat of horse is the gift of
nature. That of an ass is often the
work of tailor.
Some heartless person has remarked
that, however strenuously q teetotaller
may resist the use of fermented drinks,
he will certainly come TO his bier at
last. ....-...
Too many people embrace religion
from the same motives that they take .
companion in wedlock-not from true
love of the person but because of 9
large dowry. a
How easy it is to please and be
pleased il one will take the fragrance
of the rose instead Of the thorns, and
hold the knife by the handle and not
by the edge.
| AAc tOuuuotiou VI uOmcotlC uhppl-
ness is faith in the virtue of woman;
the foundation of political happiness,
temporal and eternal, is reliance on the
goodness of Providence.
A Baltimore young woman skated
herself through the ice but, IS the
water was only four feet deep and she
was five feet long, she stood up and
informed q young man Of what had
happened, and he courageously passed
her board.
Out of 241, ,926 packages Of stamps,
ETC., tranmitted through the Post Office
in the United States during the year
1874. only four packages valued at
S67. 40, were lost and of the 1000, 900
of regularly registered letters, only 3l3
were actually lost or stolen.
"a human skull, covered and flIed
with oysters, was dredged up in New
Haven harbor not long since" A man
must be awfully fond of oysters when
he ''sets' his skull to catch them. But
perhaps, after all, the owner of that
trap didn't know how it was being
used.
A yard-stick is very useful in store;
a stick on the stage Is of no use what
ever a stick in tumbler is sometimes
In danger of making the sidewalk un-
even to pedestrians /; a stick of q hus-
band or wife is apt to be much longer
than Is desired, and a stickful of matter
is the commonest thing read in news
papers.
The Sultan of Turkey employs in his
palace 5000 servants of both sexes.
He pays and feeds 800 cooks, 300 gar
deners, 500 coachmen, and 600 more to
do odds and ends about the house.
10 feed these people and their hangers
on ]. 200 sheep and 2, 900 fowls are killed
every day, and 90, 900 francs for lights
are expended. No wonder they call
him the sick man of Europe.
Let our love be firm, constant and
inseparable not coming and returning
like the tide, but descending like a
never failing river, ever running into
the ocean of divine excellency, passing
on in the channels of duty and con-
slant obedience, as never ceasing to be
what it is till it comes to be what it de-
slres to be ; still being q river until it
be turned into sea and vsstness, even
the immensity of blessed eternity.
A neat confidence game, but very
mean, was practiced on two young
ladies in Jersey City car the other
day. A acknowledgement man en-
tered the car in Jersey City, and two
ladies got on at the same time. One
of the ladies took dollar bill from her
purse to pay the fare with, when the
gentleman politely offered to pass it to
the driver, but instead of doing that
he lifted his hat to the ladies' and left
the car.
Every year pastry cook in Dresden
cooks up a lot OF pancake, in one of
which ducat is placed, and advertises
the same, whereupon all the good
people of that city rush to invest five
piennings in one of the cakes, in the
hope of being the lucky winner of the
prize. But the cook doesn't "scale
down" the drawing in the Louisville
fashion, so that the ducat is changed
to groschen, while the pancake is
made of sawdust.
This is the way an impecunious Pa
risian dandy managed He kept at
his residence a costume OF o groom.
When Offering an attention to the
fair sex he used to say Permit me
to send you bouquet by my black
servant" He then repaired to his
garret, took his blacking bottle, pol
lshed his face and hands, put on his
livery and knocked at the lsdy's door.
Here, said he, ''are some flowers
from master TO madame" He had
spent his last franc in the purchase.
Madame was SO delighted with the
present that she presented the bearer
with louis. This is q clever pocket
ing of three dollars, and lady's favor
into the bargain.
A Bangor fruit dealer has been pay
ing bet recently, with the making Of
which he had nothing to do. Two we'll
known gentleman stepped in, and be-
ginning to eat oranges, informed the
proprietor that they had made bet of
the oranges on q certain question, and
after the bet was decided the loser
would pay for those which they were
eating. To this the dealer of the fruit
was agreed, and the customers ate all
they desired. The next time they were
in the store he enquired which one was
to pay for the oranges. Don't know
yet, was the reply 'T bet that when
the Brewer bridge is carried away, the
Brewer end will go first, and Smith bet
that the Bangor end will go first"
The oranges we're immediately charged
to profit and loss.
The practice Of clipping horses in
winter is regarded in a great many diff
ferent views but there is no mistaking
the sentiments of q contributor to the
New York Evening Post, who gives e1-
preston to the following bit Of sarcasm:
II admire the horse-shaving process,
not so much for its conspicuous pro-
priety and usefulness, as for its showing
what high order of intellect can ac-
compiish when it seriously lays itself
out for work. What ordinary man
could. by any possible stretch OF his