The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1875-05-22
ITEMS In BRIEF.

anu MOLtSoIIClJ
please not to squirt your AMBER IN
this ke-yar, 1t is a dirty practice. Ii
you want to squirt go into the forward
ke-yar and you kin squirt as much as you
please" Whereupon the squirters with
Drew.
AFrench butcher who was on isdeath-
bed, said to his wife, Eff / die, Fran
coise, you must marry shop-boy. He
is a good young man, and the business
cannot be carried on without a man to
look after It," 81 have been thinking
about that already" said his wife.
How sweet is perfect understanding
between man and wife. He was to smoke
cigars when he wanted them, but he was
to give her ten cents every time he IN
dulged in one. He kept his word, n
every time she got fifty cents ahead led
borrow it to buy cigars.
A witty Englishman who answered at
a dinner at Concord, the other day. to
the toast "the Queen" said 81 wish
to express my satisfaction in being here
with you to-day, and my equal sat-
~isfaction in having been absent a hum
dred years ago."
Lee Richardson, of Vicksburg. adver-
tises a lot of "half-pint, pint and quart
TASKS, with corks, for sale, which seems
to intimate that there are some men in
Vicksburg who don't go to the bottom of
a quart bottle at the first draught.
Mr.. Sweetly-"B But why are you max
ing SO many dolls p%antaloons, my dear
Mrs. Jinxby." Mrs. Jinxby-" These
are not dolls clothes, my dear, they are
for the poor frogs who go exposed i'll the
water all winter in our pond"
The late Henry w. Dutton Of the Bos-
ton Transcript has been identified with
the art of printing longer than any man
in Boston. He was foreman of a print
ing office in Boston in which James Cor
don Bennett was copy-holder.
A writer on dress says "Short and
podgy women ought not to wear BELTS"
What's the use of giving advice in that
way There isn't u woman in the world
who would admit, even to herself, that
she was short and podgy.
There are times when all of a woman's
self-possession and dignity are required.
That is when she shows her first baby, a
hair-lippcd one, to an old beau, whom
she had Tilted for the sake Of her present
husband.
Susan B. Anthony says hat there are
100000 professional drunkards in the
United States, and that one woman in
seventeen is married to such an artist.
She never would do it herself, though.
A candidate for Office in Mississippi
informs his fellow citizens that, Eat tile
earnest solicitation of my wife and daugh-
tiers, | have consented to become a can
didate for County Treasurer"
A Virginia widow refused to marry a
bald-headed man, though he was a mil
lionaire. She explained: Wed have a
family fight some time, and he has no
hair to catch hold Of"
Ex-senator Chandler says that he has
spent $4,000 in his attempt to secure
the conviction of Buell., the Washington
newspaper correspondent, who called him
a drunkard.
An Illinois editor bought his ink by the
jngful because he could get it cheaper,
but his wife went to ill the instand one
morning and found it wasn't ink, by a
jugful.
The fashionable clergymen have COM
menced their hacking coughs in anticipa-
ton of being sent to Europe this summer
for the benefit of their health.
At q recent wedding in Ohio, the min
lister was about to salute the bride, when
she stayed him with, mo, mister, / give
up them yanities now =
Barber-""T Thin out your hair a bit,
sir 7" Lickton-"No, never mind. NV
wife attends to that. just oil it well,
however,"
A humorous a~pothecary in Boston ex-
poses a case of soap in his window with
the pertinent inscription, Cheaper than
dirt"
A female bill poster is doing an extern
sive business in New York. The sex was
always good al running up bills.
Mrs. Smith says she celebrates her
wooden wedding every day. She married
a stick, and that's how it is.
"The girl whose feet don't bend the
grass, lives in Colorado, but the grass
out that way is tough.
Don't talk about this worlds bright
ness and sh%unshine to a man with tight
boots.
The home eircle-Walking around with
the baby at night.
The Rome Sentinel gives one q vivid
idea of the extremely cold weather that
has prevailed up there. when # saws that