Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-08-01
Hiram Jenkins's Mistake.
BY CHARLES 4. HURD.

Hiram Jenkins drove slowly up the hill
road that led to the farm house Of Dea-
con Bates. 1t was plain even to the cas-
ual observer that the GRAND he was bound
upon was of no common importance. No
man would have arrayed himself so gor-
geously simply for the purchase of a tub
of butter or a yoke of steers. His hair
was in state of distressing smooth
ness, and seemed almost q part Of the
glossy hat which covered it. His coat
and pantaloons were marvels in their way,
and his boots which had been most elab-
orately blackened, reflected back the rays
of the setting sun in manner perfectly
binding to the beholder. And yet, not
withstanding his superiority in all these
respects to the lilies of the field, there was
apparent in his actions singular sort Of
nervousness, trepidation almost, which
rendered his appearance at once ridicu
lous and awkward This tradition was
in no wise lessened by the sudden vision
of headed urchin watching him
from the barn door, and who as the team
approached, with an overwhelming grin,
sped off in the direction of the farm house
and disappeared through the kitchen
door. Hiram was conscious minute
afterwards of being the target for half
dozen pairs of eyes from the sitting room
windows, and it required extraordinary
strength of mind on his part to drive past
the house to the shed where the horses of
all visitors were hitched. There are few
more awkward things to do than to get
out or in u carriage when women are
watching, and though Hiram had prob
ably never thought of the fact before, he
fully experienced its truth, as, endcavor-
ing to spring gently from the buggy, his
foot slipped on a wheel and he came down
on his hands and knees in the dirt. His
remarks as he scrambled to his feet were
confined to one word, but that, though
short, was the most expressive one in the
English language.
"I'll have to go round to the barn pump
and wash my hands before l 90 in" he
said to himself. ~ suppose they are hav-
ing their fun out of me in the house now
Confound it, l wish hadn't started"
As he passed the door of the horse barn,
which was partly open, he heard the
sound Of voices. He listened, and his
heart sank as he recognized the tones of
his rival, Elnathan Rodgers.
~ want her bad" he was saying. "Shc
just suits me. You can't always have her,
you know, so you may rs well call the
thing settled"
~ don't know about that" answered
the deacon doubtfully. II always said,
come what would, wouldn't part with
Jenny. But you hang on so, l don't
know"
Say it's a bargain, deacon. I've
thought it over a good while, and Jenny
must have. I'll treat her we'll, you may
be sure of that"
The deacon hcsitated, blew his nose,
and finally said
SHES got some little tricks that no.
body knows nothing about but me, and /
don't want to impose upon a neighbor."
"Oh, pshaw! that's only an excuse dca-
con. I'm willing to risk it."
'Shc kicked me in the stomach last
winter, and bit little Sammy not morc'n
six weeks ago. ] can show you the scar
now"
"Great king!" thought Hiram, land
here was going to pop the question this
very night. Who ever would have thought
itr'
"Ill take that out of her." said Elna-
than, continuing the conversation. "If
she so much as lifts her foot against me,
I'll give her licking that will last her a
MONTH"
"Lick !" calculated Hiram to himself,
astoaished beyond measure. "Lick Jenny
Bates! Well, this goes ahead of anything
lever heard Of And the old man doesn't
say q word! What next1"
A pause ensued, which was at last
broken by thedeacon:
"Well, if .yoa must have her you must.
expect the old lady'll want something
to say about it, though. She thinks as
much of Jenny as do. Won't you come
into the housei"
"Not now. I've got to 60 down tn the
village before dark. Ill be around some
time morrow"
Hiram Jenkins waited until he saw his
successful rival climb the fence between
the two farms. Then he deliberately un-
hitched his horse, got into his wagon, and
drove Of, never casting look toward the
window where the fair Jenny sat in watch
ful expectation. Not until he reached
his own door, did he draw = long breath.
ut seems just like dream, said he to
himself, - he slowly unbuckled the har-
ness. ITO think Of Jenny Bates kicking
her own fafhAr and hffinO har I;t<l> hroth