The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-09-02
HIS HONOR AND RILAH.
An Hour at the Detroit Central Station
Court.
RI. L. ~

Court.
From the Free Press.]
Biiah skulked into the corridor and
returned with melancholy man, whose
shirt-collar hung by the last button, and
who had evidently been rolled over and
over in the road by the boss elephant Of
the last circus.
/" Your cognomen is ---2" inquired
his Honor.
"Shoseph, replied the prisoner.
"And you work at -?"
son a Sherman baper," was the re-
ply;
ternoon journalists who take items from
the morning papers, change a name or
two, and gobble them as original |"
CT translates" replied the prisoner,
In solemn tones.
81 understand. I've seen your trans
lations frequently, aud they are well
done. Anybody who hadn't read the
other papers would think you had a
hundred tons of brain under your hat.
st gan't help dot if didn't want to. y
well, Tn only giving you my indi-
vidual opinion. IF I were you I'd write
my own items or sit on box and whit
tie bar soap. It's a fact that you were
drunk last night, and what have you to
say about it 2"
The prisoner wiped his nose in an APP
pealing manner, and his Honor con-
tinued
'sIt's the first time, and I'll let you
go, but il you appear here again III
translate you and transport you, too.
You are big enough to know how to be-
have yourself"
QUICK WORK.
Whoop!" exclaimed Toledo sailor
as he was brought out.
eyes, 'hooped' for sixty days, :" re-
piled the Court, and Bijah went in for
another.
A PROFESSOR.
Henry Gibson came out with wild eye
and nervous step, and as soon as he could
secure view of his Honor's good na-
tured face he feelingly remarked
81 protest. solemnly protest -
"Dont take on that way, Mr. Glib
son, soothingly replied the Court.
81 will, sir aoiH take on I pro.
test, SIR
Do you protest draft, Mr.. Glib
son?''
"No, sir I protest against the out
rage r
SDidn't you have sheets on your bed
Mr.. Gibson, and didn't they give yor
milk toast for breakfasts"
) !" I tell you I protestl'' exclaimed The
prisoner.
"Wen, I would, too, if I'd been found
drunk with my body jammed in between
a sugar hogshead and barrel of kero
sene. There's lots of law in this coun
try, Mr.. Gibson, but there's no law tx
prevent you protesting from this time
until Christmas.
"Sir / want justice r said the pris
oner ct demand justice !"
: "That's different thing, Mr. Gibson
and I'm happy to say that [ can accom-
l modate you. [ find you guilty, and
+ sentence you to the House of Correction
for thirty days"
+ But Bijah pulled him in out Of tn
L i I p5~eG,z E7UIII1iso1r6 WHICH Stfeana<,e1 i1at
8 the courtroom.
WANTED THOMAS.
She was little bit of woman with
E big straw hat on, and she suddenl
: squeaked out:
q cob! sir I want to see Thomas
. sir"
"Well, look around you, and if yo7
see him it will be all right"
after glancing around.
"What Thomas is it," inquired tn
. Court.
! ooh! / dunno ~
" Is it Thomas Jefferson?"
! "Deed, sir, but / can't tell I"
D "Or Thomas Jones, Brown, Smith
: Perkins, De Laney, st. Clair or Wither
spoon2"
4 "None O. them, sir-it's Thomas"
I Well, your Thomas is far, far away
it seems, and now let's proceed to asl
and answer other questions. Let m,
! inquire If there is the remotest sus
picion in your mind that you were in
toxicated last EVENING"
i cob! I can't go on till I see Thorn
as T. she walled.
Y "And Thomas, oh where is he?"
Z "That's what dunno"
S "Well, I can't keep this case oper
all summer to please Thomas, John OF
Joe. You will have toplead."
i 81 plead for Thomas" she answered.
"Guilty, or not guilty 2"
"Oh sir, call for Thomas, sir I"
Madam Bliss, can't have any more
f fooling around. I do not know this
Thomas. I do not know his abiding
place. He may be wild Arab, howl
ing Turk, a bearded Russian or an Ameri-
can with his hair parted in the center for
aught know. We must dispose of this
case"
"Thomas oh ! my Thomas" she called
rs she faced the audience.
"He answereth not, Mrs. Bliss, and
now I desire to know why you kicked
down thn line fence hatwaen Won and