The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1875-01-06

Trade winds-Business airs.
A breezy girl--The windIass.
The mechanics iair-His wife

Trade winds-Business airs.
A breezy girl-The windlass.
The mechanics fair-His wife.
How can a penniless person feel dollar-ous?
Whatsoever man seweth, that shall he also
rip.
Who is the Oldest lunatic on record2 Time ont
Of mind.
Six hundred thousand licensed ours howl in
England.
When does an iuconsolable widOwer recover
When be reWives.
Ladies who light up well at night-ThOse who
have lanternsjOws.
The authorship Of " Beautiful Snow has been
settled It is J. Frost
What no dairyman can adultcnte-The milk
OF human kindness.
What vegetable is anything but agreeable on
board a ship2 A leek.
What portions OF the body are the best travel
. ersi The two wrists.
The Milwaukee Sentinel says a recent suicide
there died Of four wives.
Why do old maids love cats Because when
rubbed they give out sparks
Sand for securing was first used by the Arabs
when they secured the plain.
Why is a rooster on fence like nickel
Head on one side, tail on the other.
How is it that guns can kick when they have
no legs They kick with their breeches.
Incredible as it may seem, many of the richest
anters in Jamaica live on cOHee-grounds.
Why is a uevsboy like cucumber2 Because
4e older be grows the more Of yener he'll be.
Why is young lady dependent on the letter
" Because without it she would be young lad.
Deyout mother to young lady, who is burning
up her letters: What are you doing there, my
dear Are you burning incense ?" Young lady
"0h no, ma I'm only burning nonsense"
That dog of yOurn few at me this morning,
and bit me in the leg, aud now inform you that
/ intend to shoot him the first time see him."
The dog is not mad" Mad 1 know he is not
mad. What's be got to be mad about Its me
that's mad
-'Are there any secOnd-class carriages on this
line, Rogers?p p No, my lord" "Ah, then
take two frst-class tickets, and two third" beg
pardon, my Lord But is me and Mrs Parker
expected to 60 third-class ?" "Gracious heay-
ensl No, Rogers The third-class tickets are
for my lady and mer-Ps1ct.
John Henrys father-n-law. aged eighty-fve,
took it into bis head to get bis life insured. "But
81" said the agent, "you are too old for US to
take the rick" Why 2" queried the old
man. Because speedy death is too sure
thing" Well. IRE been looking at your ta-
bles" said the father-in-law, and End that
there amt one man dies in my years to hundred
who dies younger" The insurance agent could
not see it, but John Henry says it's good logic,
and he'll back the old man for fifteen years yet,
Samuel Henry, lately cOlored resident Of Sal
isbury, Nd, is an ungrateful reprObate, aud does
BY no means appreciate the goods which the gods
provide. For, when Mrs. Sam Henry lately pre-
sented to him-not twins not triplets-but, as
we may say, ,ouadrants-four smiling sable pledges
only 10 be described by that noun of multitude,
cherubim-did Sam Henry show any gratitude
for this distinguished Honf None 10 speak OF,
we mourn 70 say. His oUly remark was Z"
aint gHine TO live in dis heah Salisbury no ic3-
ger"
An old lady who lives in rural Massachusetts, |
and gets her news second or third-hand, recently |
received call from some friends living stl furth-
er 10 the woods. After the exchange Of greet
lngs came the retailing and reviewing Of the
events that had occurred since their last meeting,
each posting the other up for the past year. The
elderly lady had remarked TO her visitor - sup
pose you've beard Of the Williamsburg drOath.p
10 she hadn't Vel, they've had an awful
uloegat Up tbere-not drap Of water in six
months except little brought into town by
mlkman named Cheney"