Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-07-22
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
a LONG HEADED man is never headlon:

uo oulef nanQle tnan this instant.
A FEMALE cook at the International
Hotel at Niagara Falls has committed
suicide by jumping over the cataract.
THE Rochester Chronicle says that " fut-
tering in the head" is what ails Boston's
boy-murderer. The remedy IS fiuttering
IN the air.-Free Press.
THIS is erass-cutting time, and every
dutiful Maud Muller should now be in the
field raking hay or holding conversation
with Judges.-EGcballag6.
Arkansas girl says that nothing makes
her so mad as to have a grasshopper crawl
up and down her back just as her lover
has come to the proposing point.
A DEAF and dumb man in Ohio is the
most successful ox-teamster in the State.
SO that he can be heard four miles, but he
can't do it.
THE other day, after an Alabama farmer
had been visited by the third tornado in
side of four weeks, he nailed up sign
bearing the words: :" Now, hang We, blow
all summer if you want to-"
To AVOID liability to mistake, caused
by the similarity in color beween the two
cent and ten-cent postage stamps, the for
mer will in future be printed in vermilion,
the old color Of the seven-cent stamp, the
use Of which has been discontinued.
CHICAGO suggests that publishers should
employ more substantial binding, to stand
the wear and tear of boxing hard-headed
urchins' ears vithal. With the fimsy COW
ers now in vogue the public schools of that
city use up $190,00 worth of school books
per annum.
The apple crop throughout New York
the present season will be q comparatively
small one, as the trees blossOmed very
sparingly. The prospect for pears is far
better, though it is feared by some that
the cold nights Of late have somewhat in
iured them.
ECCENTRIC outbursts Of patriotism are
becoming common. Among the latest is
one Of a Boston man who sent box filled
with the sacred soil of Bunker Hill, in
which were buried twelve hatchets, to
citizens of Georgia, to be used in the cele-
bratiOns of the Fourth.
MISUNDERSTANDING very dry, sir?
Customer (Who knows what's coming)-
I like it dry. Hairdresser latter a while,
again advancing to the attack -'Ead's
very scurvy, sir. Customer (still cautious
" retiring)-Ya'as, [ prefer it scurvy. AS
sailant gives In, defeated.
DIo LEWIS says that if man will eat
blackberries and oatmeal for a year he
will be able to lift horse. Friends and
brothers, will you loaf around like drones
and miss this golden opportunity of lift
ing some Respondent equine up in the
world Detroit Free Press.
CANADA proposes to send to the Ameri-
can Centennial, next year, a full exhibit
ton Of cured or stuffed fish. A grant is
also asked to aid in securing a collection
of insects. From present indications
Canada will make an excellent display OF
manufactures and products Of forests and
mines.
4 WHALE was recently captured and
killed near Galveston, Tex, and the event
has created quite an excitement there
The whale was 60M feet long, actual
measurement; 1872 inches through the
backbone, and the length of the jawbene
u feet It was right whale and the
yield Of oil was about forty barrels.
THE song CT the mosquito is heard in
the Iand-and in the sleeping-room, too
yea, and likewise out on the veranda-and
verify it doth also cause the hand of the
moonlight pedestrian to slap himself in
the face, and wish that he (the mOsquito)
were dead. A very little of the still, small
voice of that festive insect gOeth a great
ways.
How CAN you tell whether a lady is sin
Gle from choice or not? This way: If
she is always talking against the men, .
and the ladies who are favorites with the
gentlemen-she is single because she can't
help it. If, on the contrary, she gives
man his just dues, you may be pretty sure
she has had good chances to marry, but
would not
ONE of the first things that boy with a
bean-blower learns is the fact that the
angle of reflection is equal to the angle of
incidence. 1t is this knowledge that en-
abies him, standing on the sidewalk, to
fire through the open church-window at
the ceiling of the gallery and fetch some
unsuspecting worshiper every time
Brooklyn Argus.
The following scene occurred in a Jus
tees court in this city: \ question was
asked witness by Mr. r., an attorney, as
to a statement made by a witness on the
other side. The question was objected to
on the ground that proper foundation
had not been laid, and the objection was
sustained by Justice H. Mr. RI did
lay a foundation; was fifteen minutes
laying foundation for the question; and
if the Court had attended to its business,
and had not been so much occupied in
pulling its whiskers, it would have known
d foundation had been laid" Justice H.
= Mr. r., if you repeat such words / will
send you to jail Mr.. r. I'll bet YOU
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