, 1875-04-25
WOMAN.

A fashionable Paris drea=caker announces
that "Ladiea' ahrouda are now cut decoitdte
The fellow Who asked for lock Of his girls
hair WIS informed that - It costs money nau
does"
"pleese cum aroun and taik me to the spelin-
mach this eyning," wrote An Oshkosh girl to her
beau.
"My diamonds arc in the Custom-House!
the wsy thu impecunious belle now explains hsa
paueity Of jeweis.
Why are the fond glances . mother casts upon
| her baby lika Turkish eavAl1y7 Bscauas theJ
are nanny looks (Mamslukes)-
Barber. Thin out your b&ir bit, sir :"
LECTION" No, never mind NY wife Attenda
| to that. Just oil it well, however,"
There! that explaina where my clothes-line
| went to!" exclaimed m IoxA woman as shs
! found her husband hanging in the stable.
A confectoner, who twelve months ago taught
his parrot to say "Pretty creature" to avery
| lady who entered bis shop, ia new = millionaire
The model husband Of tho period il the nau
who will hold the baby for !. couple OF hours
trial.
gervant-girIs. They always hiro out with ths
understanding that tho mistress is todo the dirty
| work /.
4 oue-eyed San Francisco girl adrertses foe
| husband afflicted IN the same way: Sho don't
| mann to be twitted on her desormity> after thu
honeymoon
When tho enyious Miss alcF1imssy kess her
| rivxl dressed In something nio.e than ordinary
elegant she simply mutters the significant vord
"snuggled!"
"Why do you use paint?" asked 3 violinist Of
his daughter. 'tFnr the samo reason thas you
use roain. papa" '.How is that?" "Why, to
help me draw my beau~"
They havs introduced lady hotel-clerks in Koa-
lucky with great SUCCESS. Tho only disadvantage
is that guests Of the house do not get their lot
ters as early as formally.
s'If women sra ever allowed to vote, what do
you suppose will DO the fashion for voting
dresses" asked fashionable Brooklyn girl Of
her dressmakar tho other daJ.
; Vireinia widow refused to mary bald
headed maa, though he was = millionaire. Sh5
explained: "Ws'd havo family fight soma time,
and he has no hair to catch hold Of"
/ Said IN ambitious philadelphia wife to her
sfow-coing husband the other day, *Why can't
son dtatinguish yourself in Soma way7 Better
; bs great defauiter than nothing"
An economical Connecticut girl refused to be
married by the Clergyman OF ker lovers Church
because another parson owed her 81 tor Knitting
stockings, and was too poor to pay cash-
, "Grls," observes An experienced Brooklyn
matron, "rameEnter that those men ms1e tbs
best husbands who csn swallow dozen hairs to
: N ounce OF butter without knowing it."
It has been discovered thsk ihe New England
. | indy who srelled $50 words out of tho word
| "Opngregationaiidk, " has never learned to make
! | q lost Of bread out Of -four Jea5t, and water.
3 One Of Brigham Youngh wiyss told lin tts
| other day that. when she haard thst the Sultan
of Turkey had 100 wives, she felt mortified to
o think thai her husband had allowed IN outtand-
& fsh foreigner to beat him 50 badly In that hnd.
The.e is wifaly pride for you
: 4 Milwaukee chap hssed his girl about forty
d times right etra1ghs along, and whan ho stop
/, ped the tasrs cams into her eyes. and she sald
IN = sad touo OF voice: 'Ah John, fear you
= have ceased to lows me-" "No, haVent" 70
~ =, Piled John, but Imust breathe"
A story is told Of woman in Providence
who having secured good piace 70 seq ne - os:
+ aha had lost her child snd earnestly asked MN
| 10 find it for her, as she did not daro to go IN
search Of It, for II shs did, shs would "fosa her
y | place."
Some man a1wnvs want to: css. cloud oi
Is gloom over good thing. For example, "hen
i III. Harrison, OF Delaware found that he must
d | die, he stid to LIS Wits: "Jane, youl nave 11l'
% swing now. md 1t Won't be yasr before 9ou:
be in ths poor-house." sha didn't take bit o1
comfort at the funeral
Il Nevada woman recently knocked down
!. | seven burglars ona SITTER another. Her hnsoano
~ watched har from the top OF the statrs and fe1s
+ an brimful Of battle that be couldn't cool on ue-
3 til he had ierked his 8-yeaFold boy cut OF neo
Il md sswhaled " him s0uud1y for not getting NJ
ana helpng LIS 1'osu0''
1tm.iea men r ,tteSa IT, the sxPs ssnSS y. Sos a.ef
isn't comfortable to walk home WITH har az
have the dear creature mutteE1ng a. evary s.ep M
" "Irn ashamed OF your ignorance; ana ~ ~ w.
can't spell asl1Ase, II teacn !oo "n'" s''
VOC no"e' ~ - o1e.
At Pompen they reeeutiJ 1onno enl!ons 80 to1
r. or1. It was scratched on the etneeo OF kastnst
a WALL and has been thus traos!aseo: 49,. aao.
the fire., cooked bus meals ano sNsps n.s noa1s
"a for him % 600 times 70 thIs Gay ana ne 70. ~
~ take me to the atcns nne1Ln s1s a1.r ~ ~ s4t
90 ferent hand Is written: women are nese1 *@4
Is isled."
ARoston man who il described ~ possessing
= uncommon intellectual =olty" has neeom I,
city< and declares that bis future wiis must ot
perfectly 1gnor3ns, Auu uHos' - .tonh .z;af
nothing and believe everything. " s!oAu ~'e-