St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-07-30
SQuibs.

\ little wart backed hop-toad will
break up II cloquet party quicker than
the darkest thunder cloud that ever
gathered.
Van Vert. Ohio, has Il man who is
30 Years old, and great care is being
taken OF him to preserve him for the
centennial
There is Il Arcat rush To the Black
Hills since Prof. fanny gave publicity
t" the fact that he made ri cents II day
washing gold.
How to tell a good horse: Stand in
front OF his shoulder and pull his head
down gently till his ear is at the level
of your lips. Then tell him.
AT Alhary recently, gentleman while
at the theatre had his watch stolen. but
soon atterwarl 1t WAS slyly returned 10
his pocket with this note attached
"Don't deal in warming pans any longer.
Watch returned as taken. Fry pnta-
toes in the ease. No Use to me. Yours,
JOHNNY, THE LITTER"
She tried to sit down in Il street car.
hut WAS pinned back 81 tight she
c"uldmI. old lady pceped over her
specs and asked her. ''llow long have
You been afflicted that way ," The
Young lady hlu>h,.d and made Il "break"
sitting down sideways and holding
herknees together So tight that she
looked as If she had on one
legged pair of breeches. Old lady
noticed her sitting in this >idcwise,
cramped position and whispered, Bile.
'>p"Se I've had 'em thar myself"
HoweSriHc (hy.) PLmndeaier.
A man is harder than Il woman. ex-
ccpt in his hands. When she sees him
take his coat-tail Ia hold Il stuve-Iitter,
She pushes him away in disgust and
takes the hot object III her bare hand
without " inrimg When he has a dish
I" lift from the stove he very property
Starts of I" hunt up Il cloth. and while
he has gone she removes il with her
naked hand and is there ready to say
things that make him feel small and
worthless when he gets back - Ddnbury
NrwS.
"Mari.l." said il lady to her colored
maid, THAT is the third silk dress YOU
have worn since Nou came to my house !;
pray how many do You own p .'Only
seven. miss. but 'Sc savin my wages
W 'hN '''Nth vi W lli' iNt
are seven silk dresses to yuu2 Why,
don't own as many aS that" "Spccs
not. miss" said the smiling darky you
doesn't need 'em so much as | does.
You quality white folks everybody
knows is quality hut we hcttermost
kind al col"led pm>s"n> has to dress
smart t" distinguish ourselves from
common niggrr>.
Aboard one of the sleeping cars which
arrived in Detroit. the other day, was
an Iowa man. whose big boots had been
hlackrd with the rest while he slept.
W hen he came To put them on he asked
What the charge WAS, and the porter
replied that he could give whatever he
SAN lit. The traveller pulled out il
nickel, smiled patronizingly, and hand
eel it out with the remark There
YOU may keep the whole of it. When
I'm around home like to know where
my money 9oeS to, but when | travel !
pay my way and want things pleasant
Samho occasionally got drunk. One
day, his employer took him to task,
and read him Il lecture, at the close of
which he asked him if he didn't think
he would do better in the future.
'l)Hn o. nIaS> 7. S:llu tht uafkN, scratch
iug his head. But what do YOU think ?"
"Well. massr, Is afcaIed think not"
"Samho, what do N"u mean? DO
You mean that YOU will not try I"
'''Iwouldnt be no use, mas-'r. Fact is,
twas born IN me. Rum is my nat'ral
drink. You see. afore was born, my
father and mother were hot1' bought on
the coast of Africa and paid for in rum
They killed Il book agent ut Creston
two weeks ago, but they had to run
over him with nine freight ears to do it.
People who cant afford to keep Il fast
freight train in the house are still at
the book agents mercy Exchange.
y Mississippian's cat story: Il WAS
sick. Il short time ago. and the cat would
come from the table tu the bed fire.
quently. She finally caught Il mouse
and brought it to the bed, laying it
down beside me. threw it of, but. IA
soon as did so, the cat would bring it
back. anti | thought she wanted me to
eat it SO | made believe ate il, and
the went away apparently satisfied.
And before night, the same day, she
brought me il striped squirrel, and each
day for the three days was in bed she
brought game, with the same result
she would never leave until had pre-
tended to eat it,