The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1875-11-18

OuG IuOTe UFduCu0S, IL Will dt1u SF0dCly
to the establishment OF my grounds. ~
NetO York Times.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
MArcHLEss MIsERY.-Having cigar
and nothing to light it with.
A BALTIMORE man is writing trea-
tise on "Bier." He proposes to lay
himself out on it.
THE fast time made by the new postal
trains is accounted for by the fact that
the wheels of the cars are not tired. i
REV. HAMMER isriveting the attention
Of Georgia congregation. His dis.
courses are full OF striking illustrations
and ironical hits, at sin.
The constable who had an attach
ment for widow was informed with
dignity that his affections were not re-
| ciprocated.
A PRIVATE in the army recently sen,
a letter to his.sweetheart, closing whit
"May heaven cherish and keep you
from yours truly, John Smith,
"FATHER's Hair is Turning Gray"
the name of the latest sentimental ballad.
suggests to his heirs another beginning:
"Oh, Father dear, why don't You dyep"
DoN'r You think things look bluep''
said q man to Spilkins yesterday.
"That's just azure inclined to look at
them, /" replied the incorrigible Leander.
The funny paper of st. Petersburg Is
called $ The Spark" It's editors life
flickered ont few days ago, and the
name ON his tombstone Is Basic KOuras-
kline.
SHE tripped along with ribbons fly
ing. from bran new hat she'd been
buying She held her head up very
high, and thought, "Well, amt / just
old pie!" An orange peel lay In the
track, she tripped, and fiat upon her
back lay Miss Maria Simpkins.
The Boston Post has received ia
small piece of Morton's bloody Shirt
Cut from ''under the yoke" we sup
pose. EzcAange. Gusset was cut
through the gore.-C Chicago Times. Now
close-lyin' on the subject; neither Of
you tells the true tale.
The good boy who goes home and
| tells his mother how he rebuked his
companion for robbing BIRDS nests,
will perhaps pass the pantry twenty
times that very day-and stil find it
locked. How ignorant parents are, and
how little they understand their chill
dren.
WHEN Gov. Hartranft went to the
Welsh National Festival in Pennsylvania
the other day, the audience united in a
sweet song of welcome, commencing,
"Cymraeg SEISMIC, i'w canu gan y
Corau u nedig fel cyfarchiad i'r Cad.
Hartranft, Llywydd yr Eisteddfod Gem
edlaethol. Dymunir i'r corau barotoi
i'w canu ar y don Clan Meddwdod
Mwyn.''' 81
IT was only two days ago that Jones,
painfully aware of his inebriety, en-
deavored to conceal it from the public
by buttoning his coat up very closely,
imparting an abnormal stiffness to his
knees, and tripping over his own heels.
He stalked up to q street car, walked
briskly in just as the horses started for
ward-and instantly tumbled out back
ward without unbending q muscle.
Straightway he recovered the upright,
splashed with mud, and entered the car
and seated himself beside an acquaint-
ance, making no sign of his mishap.
Presently he turned to this individual
and queried: ssKlishnp' "No." He
considered moment and then ASKED:
"Ofetrackp" s.No." More reflection
sleepily; then again: .Runoverpres-
lpice?'' "No." ssSplozhn?" mo-"
Somnolent cogitation. "Any acci-
dent?'' .sNot at all. - He took in this
piece of information, and concluded he
must be very drunk indeed. Anxious
to cover up the fact and turn the matter
off respectfully, he shortly turned again
with the bland observation: "Well, If
I'd anone that woodent got out" He
blinked of into an unconscious state
after awhile, then Evoke up" with his
eyes very wide open, to show that he
had only been thinking. He rode on
j about mile beyond his street, and was
4 finally taken home in . hack.-Detrois
4 Tribune.
j THE French provincial papers report
the drowning Of an English lady, de-