davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27
He Knew What He Wanted.
Cincinnati Enquirer.

He came into the office of West End
undertaken yesterday with look of great
care on his honest face His eyes were
heavy and slightly bloodshot, telling of
nightly yigils and loss of sleep. His hair
was unkempt and shaggy. The soft>heart-
ed man of coffins looked upon his visitor
with a gaze full Of pity and thankfulness
pity for the customers loss and thank-
fulness for his patronage. He was so
young to be burdened with the loss of a
dear one by death.
The manufacturer of burial cases nod
ded silent assent and condoling recogni>
ton; the young man said: allow dyer
Then ensued painful silence, broken at
length by the man of grave business.
''Can do anything for you to-day, sir2
"Wall, | reckin' so, stranger"
Another silence Once more the UNDER
taker began by suggesting: "Your sisterY'
Young man stared a moment, then, as
light gradually broke in upon his perplex-
ed mind, he smiled a smile more suggest
i've of sorrow than happiness, and replied:
"No-my wife.
"When did it'happen?"
"About four o'clock this morning"
"About what do you want the Cost oi
it to be?'
Don't care durnation for expenses
git it up kinder nice. I'll treat hsr hand
sum, cause she is the first one"
"Very well, my friend; you'll have il
lined with white satin, supposed?
"Jest as you say, stranger"
"Silver-headed screws, too, l supposeY
"Y-a-as, s'spose so. An, stranger
Jest put bully top tot.
"Oh, of course; and you'll want a glass
in it, also, l suppose
"Y-a-a~s-oh, certainly-you bet. Gil
her up sniptious, you know, old fellow.
None of your drafted one-horse fxins fol
me-"
"Just so. Silver handles, Of course?
"Eh2 What's that yer say, stranger
silver handles? Oh, blame it, now, won
thet be pilin' it on too helty hke2 l XII
stand silver screws, and sich, but there
no use maxim the hull tarnation trap o
silver. The thing has to be moved, AM
must have handles, but l amt quite 5,
stuck upas thet now-not quite, stranger.
every well" acquiesced the man of ob
sequies, "I'!l put ordinary handles to ii
then"
Eggs,actly-them's 'em, mister; nov
yer talkin'. Or'nary handles ii do. But
/ say, stranger (reflectively), make til
rockers glisten like thunder"
| ck-rock-rockersY
"Yas, rockers. What's the matter wit
yer, anyhow"
"But who ever heard of rockers to
| coftiu?'
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27
.'Coffnr' shrieked' the deiectrI.lookln,

Coffin" shrieked the dejectrJ-look Ing
young man Coffin Now, whOtLe dick
ems said anything about cofiinsy'
why, don't you want coffin?'
"No~ol blame your collin! | want a cra-
die--a trap TO rock my new baby in"
And isn't your wife desd?"
Not by jugiul. Don't yer make cra-
dies for sale9'
mo, my friend, am an undertaken"
"Undertaker Of what?"
81 make collins"
'Oh, the dickensl Eetme ketch the fel-
Ter that sent me herel"
And the griei-stricken crammed his hat
over his eyes. ran his hand deep down in
the pockets of his trouserloOns. aud poun-
ced out on the streets searching for VEN
geaDce.
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27
VOL. l..

"Had you not better set up for phre.
nologist-or whatever they call the char.
latans who pretend to read faces9" sarcas
ticaiIy retorted Lady Saxonbury.
Mamma, listen. If | do accept him,
it will be because | am unhappy with
you"
"Pray, why should there be an if in
the matter at all2 Why should you hesi-
tate, or think of rejecting him"
Because / do not love him" answered
Maria, in a low tone. 81 like Mr. Yorke,
but it requires more than liking to marry
a man: or ought to require il"
'Ob, if You are going to run on about
romance and sentiment, do not under
stand it, returned Lady Saxonbury. 81
never did more than 'like''my two bus-
bands, yet | was happy with them. Ny
love was wasted on somebody else; when
| was almost a child"
"Was it2" cried Maria, eagerly.
GIt was.-It was lover and done with
before I married, and did not make the
less good wife. 1t is so with ninety-nine
women out of every hundred; and rely up.
on it, their welded lives are all the hap
pier for their early romance being over -
Romance and reality do not work well to-
gether, Maria. You are inexperienced,
child"
Maria was beginning to think so.
Il give you my advice, Maria, and l
give it for your happiness. Marry Mr..
Yorke, and be thankful. Reject him,
and pass your afterslife in repining, in
self>reproach at your own folly"
Mr.. Yorke received the answer he wishs
ed for. They were to be married in Eng
land, in Autumn, but preparations were
at once commenced. 1t was onl y to
be expected that Lady Saxonbury would
now 60 home Immediately, but she declin>
ed to do so. In spite of the somewhat
cynical remonstrances of Mr.. Yorke, she
fatty refused She would go home for the
wedding in September, she said, and she
would not go before. Perhaps some vague
hope of recovering, even yet, the body of
the child from the canal, chained her TO
the place. So Mr.. Yorke remained on
perforce in the despised town, feeling that
he and they were alike out of place in it.
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27

A New Hampshire school>teacher late
ly was questioning one of his class upon
one foot and swinging the other foot and
limb, he inquired how many bones he was
moving. Several incorrect answers were
given at first, but after it had been answers
ed correctly the question was asked if any
of the scholars thought differently. A lit
tie fellow, not yet in his teens, raised his
hand Immediately. signifying that he dis
agreed with his schoolmates, and the tea
cher, repeating the question: "How many
bones was 1 movingY' was astonished to
hear the little fellow increase the proper
number by one. in the same breath giving
as his reason: "You were moving your jaw
bone, too"
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27

Old Ira Thornton was a very mean
man, and had difficulty sometimes in
drawing his breath, because he begrudged
the air necessary for that operation. One
day the old fellow was at work upon the
high beams of his barn. when he lost his
balance and fell heavily upon the floor,
twenty feet below. He was taken up for
dead, with fractured skull, and carried
into the house All efforts to bring him
to consciousness were unavailing, and the
doctor was called. Finally the doctor
having trepanned him, turned and asked
Mrs Thornton for a silver dollar to put in
where the piece of skull was wanting.
At this remark Ira, who had been breath
ing heavily, turned in the bed and groan-
ed out: "Wouldn't cent do as wellP
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27
ADVERTISING RATES.
CymbeIine and The Quarreiers.

Cymbeline, the King, and his Queen
Went with a lordly train to ride,
To see the land in its summer pride,
And what besides there was to be seen.
Prancing along with laugh and song
They found a quarrel of man and wife;
And these when asked for the cause Of strife
Each on the other cast the wrong,
Each one said, s'That ever we'd
We'd with a creature SO forward and illi'
spake the King with a right good will
"Let them both to the palace be led!'
That same night, when lamps were bright
Over the lords and ladies there,
Cymbeline said with his kingly air,
"Bring the two we found at fight"
Mute with shame the culprits came,
And each was set to stand alone
cut before the royal throne,
While Cymbeline spoke to both by name,
Saving, "As wide as side from side
OF the heaven above us | ct you twain;
Each is free to marry agai; -
Choose from the court a bridegroom and BRIDE!
Each in guise of blank surprise
Looked around on the circle there,
Lords so fine and ladies so fair
Ended in the others eyes.
''CnO0ee. crleu tue ming W my eiSnSN ing
promise to wed you with your choice!"
They scarcely heard the royal voice,
So passing wonderful seemed the thing
Round she gazed, her vision dased
With splendors Of manly form and face;
He beheld the womanly grace
Deckt in jewels that melted and blazed.
Then the scene and all between
Their tender wooing vanished away:
There came a watt Of their marriage day,
And all the sweetness that had been.
She was there, that maiden fair,
As first he saw her when times were glad,
And he was there, that blooming lad,
As he first went by with his jaun'y air.
Then the thoughts of their babes was brought
Into each others arms they sprangl
Long and loud the rafters rang,
And noble eyes with tears were fraught.
''You choose the best, and leave the restl''
Chymbeline cried with shaking voice;
81 promise to wed you with your choice,
And each has chosen the way 1 guessed"
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27

There is no love like mothers love-no
heart like a mothers heart. Her afec-
tions go out for her offspring no matter
where he may roam Ur what the circum-
stances in which she may be placed, An
instance was seen yesterday when a moth.
er entered the Central Station and found
her child, who had been lost from home
for several hours. She sprang wildly for
ward, eagerly caught him by the hair,
and as she hauled him around she tender
ly exclaimed: "Ol Bob Masters, Pll wal-
lop you for this when we get homer
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27
A Runaway Mountain.

Although landed propery is, as a rule,
a coveted possession, yet, like many oth>
er blessings, it has its draw backs, and q
singular example of the troubles to which
landowners are occasionally liable has
just occurred at Hagsgate, in the Cleve-
land district, where an estate has actual-
ly absconded and has been discovered on
the top of another estate, where it has
comfortably settled itself and will have to
be moved back again at no slight expen-
diture of money and trouble.
The property that has thus played tru-
ant consists of mountain belonging to
Lord Faversham, which having been
honeycombed by mines and otherwise
disrespectfully treated, has at last vented
its annoyance and cut matters short by
running, or rather slipping, away. In
stead, however; of betaking itself to some
secluded spot where its presence would
| be welcome, or where at least there is ac-
commodationf for it, it has most inconven-
iently deposited itself on the neighboring
property of Lord de LIsle, where it has
blocked up turnpike road for nearly hall
a mile, and excited considerable alarm in
| the bosoms of the rate-payers OF thetown-
| ship, who urge that its owner is re-
sponsible for its vagaries, and bound, il
not to take it home, at all events to find il
another lodging. This inconsiderate act
on the part of the mountain has already
given rise to legal proceedings, and a law
suit is coming on at the next York assizes,
| when the mountain will no doubt prove
profitable to lawyers if to no one else.
One Of the most painful features OF the
affair is that the great. unwildely thing
arrives at its new home sin bits.' Thos'
who are displeased at its presence have
not even the poor conolation of feeling
that the worst is over, but are kept in {
state of constant fdget by the apprehen
sion that there is more to come. "-PaI
Mall (LondOn,) Gazette.
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27

A man was seen coming out of news
paper office in Texas with one eve gouged
out and his nose spread all over his face
like piece of raw beef, and one OF his
ears chawed off, To q policeman who in
teryiewed him, he replied: 81 didn't like
an article that 'peared in the paper last
week, an | went ter see the man who writ
it. lie war thar, stranger"
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27

A real hero is he who in the presence Of
danger conceals his fear, lest others, e.
coming terror-stricken, might lose their
senses. Such man was found in the per-
son of a Roman Catholic priest in New
York, who recently urged his large con-
gregation to leave the church and enabled
them to do so with absolute ignorance OF
the cause, and vet before they were iairly
out flames broke forth under the altar
where the priest had been standing.
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27

According to the Milwaukee News, a
young lady asked a booksellers clerk if
he had "Festus." mo" was the answer,
"but Pm afraid boil is coming on the
back OF Eiy neck"
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27

Anew Haven man, worth 100000, has
been piliering eggs, apples, etc, from deal-
ers in that city, and though they have only
reprimanded him as yet they say he must
do so no more.
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27

A lady went into a carpet store reeent-
ly, and, pointing out carpet, askei the
proprietor what il was "Brussels. saws
the proprietor. "Brust!cs. 4uo,h the Ia
dy, passing her hanu over H. ':<esH.s 10
ME the bruslles don't stick up much. /"
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.

Ono copy, one year. .-......s 10
Zen copies, one ~ 90
Twenty copies, ono year 80 90
An additional copy, free of charge, to the
getter-up Of club Of ten or twenty.
As we are compelled by law to pay pOstags
in advance on pap'rs sent outside Of Ohio
county, VIC are forced to require payments on.
subscriptions in advance
All papers will be promptly s.spped at the
expiration of the tine subscribed r.
Ali letters on business must be addressed to
JNo. P. BARRETT & Co., Publishers,
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27
MARIA SAx0NBURY.
BY MRS. HENRY WOOD.

AUTHOR OF "EAsT LYNSR," "vERYER's PRID 2,
"THE NYsTEaY," "THE EARL's HEIRS"
"THE CHANSTNGS, "a LIES
sEcRLT," &c, &e..
The Hartford herald., 1875-01-27

One by one the roses fade. 1t is now
boldly denied that men who wear long hair
are possessed of any more talent than
those who have it shipped close.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10

y recent catalogue of one OF the leading
London publishing houses advcrtises for sale
the following United States official reports.
The value set upon the reports By English
readers i indicated by the prices attached to
the respective reports. Report OF Commerce
ana Navigation Sj-2j. Report OF the United
States Fish COmmisSIOuCr. $50 Report of
the Bureau OF Statistics, S5.35. Report OF the
United States Commissioner OF Education
$50; and United States Digest, S9.S0. The
cost Of the Report OF the Commissioner of
Education ~ the Government Printin. o.
flee. in this city. il not over seventy-five
cents. and that OF the other reports i proper
Tomato
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10

The statistics Of one OF tho Se;: York mer-
camille agencies show that ) SIS failures TOOK
place in Isl, which was 81 in excess of those
in 1S1@, though il j. only fair to credit 1s74
with many failures which the panic OF IS7j
determined. and which were barely tided
over 20 the next January. The amount Of
liabilities OF those who faileI in fS5l was bvt
SIS. ~ .0,G. against SOS. .O0D in Is.E The
circular argues that the present business out
look il hopeful. chiefly on account Of the
stringent economy which for year past has
now been practiSeJ in business AMI domestic
expenses. and the result OF which must n a
large surplus.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10

THE BILL King MESTERY-Wny Bill
King should flee tO Canada and seem terrified
at the idea of tcStifying before the committee
IN the Pacific Mail case. passes our COmpre-
henSiOn. All he has to DO i 10 do Mr.
Schuma ker did. admit that hc got the money.
but lose his memory as To what he did with
it--IrftSlsaO LegpiT.
The trouble with King J. that a. SwOre
some time ago that ne never %: a dollar Of
this money, either directly or Indirectly. and
never knew Of dollar being paid 20 any
person in any way. Besides. isn't il Just
possible that the iilustriOUS fugitive has
reasons for believing that he Isn't wauteI9
Plenty of other people believe it. any way;
and there art many circumstances to justify
this faith.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10

The New York City Rapid Transit As>0-.a-
lion has got so far along in it, career 81 use
1ulness as 10 have an annual dinner at De-
monieoS- II DelmOaico understands his
business as well a. he i supposed n. All has
that regard for the eternal fitness OF things
which should mark the efforts Of a firs.-class
caterer, we may take il for granted thai c-o.1n
oil cons tituted one Of the courses OF the bill
OF fare.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10

Since January lst the NcwbUrypOrt mines
Lave yielded S5o,0cO in silver OTc.-Es.
This seems To be a very good showing on
its face, but how much was PUT into the
mines in tire same space Of time? In Other
words, how much did ii cost 10 get tho C.
10000 out? That is the vital question IN
mining, although 10 Is generally overlooked
by those proposing TO invest in that ci1-, o.
SO-called property.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10
fuotr
nISTEIoT OF COLUMBIA.
IL BOIRD OF HEALTH.


" GNGToN. Z sbruITy -. lS1J.
SEALED Proposals for the daily KriGpy ai and TrIas-
THStatinn 81 the Night Soil and G..rbsg.~ ami TIA.
Collection and Removal Of Dead Animals from the
cities Il Washington and Georgetown AM the i;ume
tiate and more d-n-ely populated suburbs thereof
I'll be received At this otiic" until - m MONDAY
NaIch Isl no The S-TylC" To cnmmnnC- April iSt
I,15, and H. be- performed 10 the Satisfaction of the
Board 81 Health, and IL accordance with it, rcgula
tons anu ordinances; said night soil, garbage and
Head animals Z" be removed and Transported from
ana 10 such point or points may be selected aui
designated by the bidder subject 10 the approval Of
Zach tld must IL accompanied with deposit of
three hundred 500 dollar. 10 be forfeited should
the party or parties to whom III" contract nav bs
awarded tail tu enter into written aETrcm with
such -uretIe- a. may De- approved by IN. Board 4
Health, for the faithful performance of the work
Proposals VIII be lEdOr--l Proposals for the Re
n"Va Il ofal-- and will be addressed to the under
signed and uo bIi will b. entertained except II p N
the blank form prescribed by the Board Of Health
which viii BE- furnished Oh. application
The Board reserve the right REJECT any AMI all
bid, IT"~' ntri.
By order If the Board Of HealtL
feblU = u. ". BLISS. VI. D. S. Rotary.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10
Tie Representative Theory.

rrl.o pfftsburg y.,rI-r ara,ucs with o,,sf4
erol,Is ,,i-t a., the oueSfio ~ Tho arn,I.i,r,
Of DELEGATE Cannon from The TT,-1ss I,.,,.,s,
bcfs "a rcIvranist mat the iD,r,or,1ity Of
its rar,resantativa j. ,o valid 100, c.r d.
,,rivfno, a state or Territory, cf its representa-
tive in Congress That brIv is NOT a church.
II is not-even a society. T. * sinp1van as
sernblv Of representativ,.S- and Therefore il
1ro,11 Son, tI,ot -, lone, as a rpp-asar,t,tfve
il AN, accraiifo.I AMI j. Satisfactory To his
,,,-r corsfit,7arts II i nornJv', business
what bis cbaractsris or has been. This theory
obtains even in buSiresS associations and
a,-ar ,I,os. of sc1.f- poIfti.1I character. SJcl,
as International congresses. etc. The Io,.Eer
hints further that if the rule o. expaIling
members for ir,r,or1rity * So. nm il u,igr,t
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10

H 10 az ne rT-cyfCTS ~ W. =. .. EEhMAN rho
4gGy hGr, PTOrsd tier ri0jHgs-
on are hereby notified to appear before thu Su-
lrcIne Court Of the District II Columbia. sitting IN
Bankruptcy on the 81 DAY # February $50 AZ -
clock NJ. at the City Hall. Washington city. be
lore >Ay le- Brown register. t. show cause yvhY "A
d-Charg- from ali his debts should be- grant "a 20
said bankrupt. By order If the Court
SHARP. u. :. Marshal for d G. A. Messenger
I MEI,-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10

The gentlemen Of the Confessional com
mit'Ce who recommend thu abolition OF the
Washington navy yarI seem 20 forget that
about sixty years since the Potomac bore on
its usually placid bosom number Of British
WaT-shipS which made things rather warm in
this vicinity for a time, and even compelled
the President To take to his heels in flight TO
get out Of reach Of the missiles Of death and
destruction. How would the capital figure
after the abolition Of the navy yard here in
case Of war with "A foreign country? IL was
demonstrated during the rebellion that a
feet OF war vessels can run" any number o:
forts and batteries. and consequently Forts
FOOte and Washington wOIli present no
serious obstacles To the passage OF fleet up
the river. Even surprising that in such an
emergency we were fortunate enough to
have a feet of gunbOats between Us and the
advancing enemy, they wDIId be Liable to be
disabled ard with no facilities here for
speedily repairing them they might soon
become the prey of the enemy and the CAPT
tai left at the mercy Of the foe. IT is in
juGiciOuS policy. gentlemen. to abolish the
navy yard at the capital OF the nation.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10

The recent election OF Or. DE EOven to the
BishOpTic Of Illinois has OccasiOned much
bitter feeling in Low Church circles Two
Episcopal clergymen of Chicago. DIS. Sulli-
van and Powers, made the election the sub
ject Of their sermons on Sunday. DIR. SulIi-
van declared that the election had been pro-
cured by illegal votes and other subter-
fugeS,' and said the majority have brought
the Church 10 the verge OF hereSy.'' whence
she may easily "toppls into the arms of
Rome" DIR. Powers also entered a heated
protest against pe kOven. declaring him
unfit, by reason Of his rituali>tic unsOund-
ness, for the Office OF bishop. and asserted
that he was elected by pettifogging and POI
iitical craft. The learning, elOquence and
iIreprOachable character of DIR. DE KOven are
conceded on all sides, but the feeling against
him because of his ritualiStic doctrines. is 50
bitter that his elevation 10 the EpiScopata can
hardly fail to widen the breach in the Epis-
cOpal church. His election must now be
passed upon by the bishops and staining
committees OF the several dioccSeS. a major
ity of both being necessary to confirm il.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1875-02-10
FOR SALE.

I'OR SALE-SEWFOUNDLAN DOGS and
Il EREHHoj NDS; large and small. Ia ~
GuIr" NJ corner 18th and streets north =--4~>n
west fcbri-5
E'OR SALE-foycTcd SPRING WAGON. nearly
new Can h- seen ~ BRANEY : Livery Stable,
llth street. between Il and G northwest frbg-3"
IGOR SALE AT A SiCRiFICE-Nn excel Ell
4 second hand PIANO. III perfect order and tune
good a. new-at ELLIS Music Store, Pennsy Ivania
avenue" between 9TH and 10Th sts. fcbS-3t
ENbR SALE-ODe second hand BeCkhouse Glass
u CARRIAGE, suitable for hacking purposes: will
he sold on easy terms. at CROWN 4 co. = Coach
shop. 212 18th street northwest febS-ep3t*
IGOR SALE-TwO tame DEER--a Buck and ID oe
Il only six months old. Apply TO JAS. TOWLE :
ii street between sih and 9th, northwest. Jan29 I'm