The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-01-16
VARIETY.

- VARIETY.
An Eastern debating society is trying to settle
which is the hardest to keep, diary or an UNI
breIla.
The rustic of the hustle is again heard in the
land In other words they are coming into fash
ion again.
Is BurTER-A Kansas couple paid their mar
riage fee in butter. They belonged to the creme
de In creme.
To PUT on Cora darky's instructions for
putting n coat were, "First de right arm, den
de left, and den give one general cOnwulsion."
The Chicago Times speaks of an actress whose
pronunciation afflicted with a curvature OF
the spine" Wonder If she is troubled with an
impediment in her speiling7
MADE Hn1 SwEAR-A New Hampshire woman
when dying, made her husband swear on the Bible
that he would never marry woman with sharp
nOse-
OFFICIAL RoUTISE.-A Justice OF the peace in
Cincinnati had become 50 imbued with the routine
Of his office that, concluding marriage cere-
mony, the other evening. he substituted for the
usual formula, .sYOu will now stand committed
until the fine ard costs are PAID
The MOsr FFrTING.-A contemporary suggests
the little OF Prince Of Eeee the most firing one
for the Duke Of Edinburgh's little son, inasmuch
the annexation Of the Feee Islands to the Brit
ish crown almost simultaneous with his birth.
EARSEsrsEss.-Tbe venerable Rev. Lyman
Breecher once told young minister not to think
too much about the tone OF his voice. but TO be in
earnest. % No man." said Mr.. Breecher, sever
cried FIRE in the wrong tone when his own house
was burning
Mrs. Porter, Of Idaho City, has fallen heir to
property in st. Louis valued at one hundred thou
sand dollars. Such woman If single could
marry who she pleased, as any man would be
glad 20 supporter.
A party Of sixteen ladies were bathing in a
group at Long Branch the other day. And
Boston drug clerk who stood near declares that
the paint and the powder turned the water q
bright orange color for a considerable distance
around.
While Captain Drew, agent of the James River
line Of steamers, sitting in his chair at City
Point, Few days ago, in a state OF profound
sleep, some rascal stole out OF his mouth set OF
artificial teeth @ EI
The wife OF Sam Henry, colOred resident of
Salisbury, Md, recently became the mother Of
ourschildrcn. When informed Of the fact Sam
begAn 70 make preparations for a journey. 81
amt gwine to live in dis heah Salisbury no long
er," said Sam. -...-
"a Nobody surpasses me in this speciality said
a Cincinnati girl to her new lover the other night
like that Of a pistol. The astOnished youth
walked away wondering where that girl got her
experience
At resent wedding, according to a report,
a. the jeIlies upon the bridal supper tables were
pure amber masses Of quivering translucence,
catching the wine cOlOred prisms Of perfumed
light, and holding them in tremulOus mirrors of
rosy beauty" How about the lobster salad and
doughnnts2 "a -.-
BEAUTHUL AND AFFECTING FAcF.-In eonse-
quence of a fatal epidemic among chickens in
Minnesota, ministers receiving donations
nearly every hour Of the day. This is a beauti-
full and affecting fact, and reminds us that no
pastor can have a successful ministry who does
not enjoy the affections OF his congregation.
AxsaaxED-A Sunday school teacher was Civ
ing a lesson on Ruth. She wanted to bring out
the kindness Of Boaz in commanding the reapers
to drop larger handfuls of wheat '' Now, chill
dren' she said, - BOaz did another nice thing
for RuIh : can you tell me what it wasp " Mar
ried her." said one OF the boys.
The young lady who whistles defends herself
in the Christian az Work rs follows: {" Let no
one deny me the privilege Of whistling when sit
ting alone nj my sewing g-machine. If am COM
PEELED to walk the street alone at night, never
fear danger at approaching fOOtstep IL it 10 ac
eOmpanied with the music OF whistling. L do
not believe q person can whistle who is intent on
evil"
y recently uAut DeucuiCL NNlttc &c iOt4OH5 SOu-
cerning his young wfe's habits 50 If there was
a bedroom a mile long, and her entire wardrobe
could be packed in banbox, still you'd find por-
tious Of that wardrobe scattered along the whole
mile Of dressing-roOm- She's nice thing to look
at when put together, but this wonderful Great
ure Is evolved from chaos interminable Of pins,
ribbons rags. powder, thread, brushes, combs
and laces If there were seven thousand drawers
IN vour room, and you asked for but one 20 be
kent sacred and inviOlate for your private use.
chat particular one would be full Of hair pins,
ribbons and soiled cuffs. Some provision, some
rrotection In this matter, should be inserted IN
the marriage service
CATCHING THE BoAF.-An Irishman was coming
down Montague street, Brooklyn, on his way to
the WaII-street Ferry. Over his port shoulder
hung n bag containing about bushel Of potatoes,
and in his starbOard hand he carried stout stick.
Reino under full sail, the momentum acquired in
coming down the steep grade carried him nearly
through the gateway, when, seeing n boat about
ten feet from the dock, he shook out another reef
made an astonishing burst Of speed, and jumped
just "a he reached the deck the pOtatO-bag shifted
heavily 10 port and laid out BOnd-street clerk
who was smoking n cigar through q meerschaum-
holder while the stick hit n rOtund SOuth-street
merchant IN the waistband, shutting him up like
n iaek- knife and Pat himself assumed invol-
uHtarv devotional attitude He the first to
recover his perpendicuIarity, and, as he placed
the bao in is normal position, he cOmplacently
remarked. IS Be me sowl. but got the boat any
how - a. Got the boat - screamed the clerk,
shifting the pieces OF amber out OF his mouth
"a xUL-eo =, .-o,c,nndad IDIOT the boat IL coming