River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-12-16
SCATTERING NOTES.


day spinster.
"What sort of gait do the Democrats
expect to travel this winter!' asks a
Radical editor. "Investigate," replies
the St. Louis Times.
The New York Sun thinks the seat
for the war for which Secretary Robson
is preparing the navy will be somewhere
in Wall street, not far from the gold
room.
The Danbury Ne,es says rain under
the auspices of the United States govern.
mcnt, set in Saturday of ernoon. This
is the best thing ever said against Gen.
tralization.
"Idiot y exclaimed a lady, coming
out of the theater, one evening, as gen.
tlcman accidentally stepped on her trail.
ing skirt. (Which one Of US g. blandly
responded the man.
81 can't say as he went to Heaven"
remarked a Fort Scott citizen of de-
ceased townsman, "but he paid bill Of
eleven years standing only the day be-
fore he died, and you can judge for your
self"
There is gruff old party who lives OPP
| posite to church where the members Cf
the choir meet twice a week to practice,
and who says if the singing affects
Heaven as it affects him, therell be no
use of going there for happiness.
Charles Bradeigh has directed his
agents to postpone indefinitely all his
lecture engagements in the West. Heis
now lying at St. Luke's Hospital in New
York, Frustrated by severe illness. Over
work is said to be the cause Of his DI cak.
ing down.
A CHILD of Charles Miller, who lives
in Faribault, was suffocated on the 9Th
inst by smoke, which was caused by
some wood which had been piled near
the stove, catching fire, and which filled
the room, with the above result, duripf
TIE parents absence.
PerplexCd Schneider, who had made a
garment for youth, and found himself
unable to dispose of the surplus fullness
whicl appeared when trying it on the
young candidate, declared vociferously
DE coat is soot Is no fault of de coat.
DE Toy is too tin.
A good deacon making sn official visit
to dying neighbor, who was a very
churlSh and unlver. ally unpopular man,
pat the usual question: "Are you willing
to 90, my frend!' '0h, yes,'' said the
sick man, II am" "Well'' said the
simple minded Deacon | am glad you
are, for all the neighbors are willing"
\ lady who had been teaching her
little four.year.old he elements of arith-
metic was aStounded by his running and
propounding the following problem:
mamma, if you had three butterflies,
and each butterfly had bug in his car,
how many butterflies would you have g.
The mother is still a. work ON the prob
lem.
Sardou. the author of pOncle Sam,
that atrocious libel upon American life,
was recently introduced to an American
woman in Paris. 81 am delighted to
make your acquaintance, madame said
| the playwright. Il should think you
would be glad, NJ. Sardou," was the re-
ply, for, to judge by your Uncle Sam
you never met an American lady before"
Theodore Tilton came near knocking
down an Indianapolis hotel keeper for
addressing him as "Mr. Beecher." The
unfortunate host meekly explained that
he had got the names mixed up someway,
and that be quite agreed with Mr.. Til.
tons congregation in discrediting the
monstrous story of his having alenatcd
the affections of that bad man Beecher's
wife.
Sir Randall Roberts, Baronet, who has
long been known i'll London society as a
| first-class amateur actor, is about to
adopt the stage as a profession. He is
/ young, handsome, highly accomplished
he was the captain of the Irish eight at
Wimbledon some years ago, he fought in
the Crimea, and he has an idea of coming
to this country but the question is, Can
he act out onto the stage"
A party Of Cleveland ladies', going from
house to house in that city, to inquire
after the Spiritual health of the inmates,
dropped ''all unbeknownst," into the res.
idence Of Rev. DR.. McLaren, Bishop elect
of Illinois, one day this week, and pro-
pounded to him the stunning inquiry,
"Do you attend Mr.. EarIe's revival meet
ings, and are you positive that you love
the Saviour!"
Fourteen years ago, says the Fond du
Lac Commonwealth, Gen. Bragg could
see two miles through pine forest and
detect one eff the Sixth Wisconsin boys
steal a chicken. He had the best eye
sight Of any man in the business. Those
of the regiment who were detected by the
General in those days Of war will be. glad
to learn that he has had to resort to the
use of glasses.
"Have you any eggs!' inquired
peaceful looking old man rs he leaned
over the counter Of a hardware store re.
Gently. NO sir, this is a hardware
store. we keep nails, stoves, ETC." an.
swered the RI. swell, | did want
some eggs. slowly drawled the old man,
''ut han't Particular, and you may
give ne a pound Of nails.
oS the evening Of the 2Sth ult. Gus.
Fl a., son Of the proprietor Of the Amer.
lean House at Hastings, and man named
Syvcr Peterson quarrelcd in the bar
room Of the hotel when, in attempting TO
eject Peterson, young Freas received two
stab IN the hip aud arm from knife in
Pc .CrsOu'S hands G.otgo N;iIor ,,hn