The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1875-04-29
MRS. STUN.

MRS. STUN.
If all women were as cool and mat
ter-of-fact as Mrs. Stunt But she is
one of a thousand. She was over at
Mrs. Moody's, on Macomb street, the
other day, her iron-gray hair combed
down flat aud her spectaeles adjusted
to gossip range, when she suddenly
rose and said:
"Mrs. Moody, be calm. Where do
you keep your camphor bottle? ?''
"Why !" asked the surprised Mrs.
Moody.
Because they are bringing your
husband through the gate on board !!
I think he's mashed dead, but be calm
about it'll I'll stay right here and see
to things~
Mrs. Moody threw up her arms and
fell down in a dead faint, and Mrs.
Stun opened the door as the men laid
the body on the porch.
sIs he dead % she asked, in an even
tone.
81 think so," answered one of the
men, "the doctor1l be here in min
ute."
The doctor came up, looked at the
victim, and said life had fed, adding
ellis back and four or five ribs are
broken
.sThats sensible, that is," said Mrs.
Stun, gazing at the doctor in admira-
ton. "Soms physicians would have
said that his yertebre was mortally
wounded, md would have gone on to
talk about the 'Iarnyx,' the arteries,
the optic nerves. and the diagnosis,
If he's dead it'll be some satisfaction
to know what he died of. Well, lug
in the body and send boy after an
undertaken"
The men carried the body through
to q bedroom, and Mrs. Stun went
back to Mrs. Moody, who had revived
and was wailing and lamentiDg,
"Don't, Julia-don't take on So"
continued Mrs. Stun. "Of course you
feel badly, and this interferes with
taking up carpels and cleaning house,
but it's pleasant weather for funeral
and think the corpse will look as
natural as life"
"Oh! My poor, poor husband"
walled Mrs. Moody.
"He was a good husband, I'll swear
to that" continued Mrs. Stun. "But
he was dreadfully careless te let a
house fall on him. Be calm, Mrs.
Moody I've sent for one of the best
undertakcrs i'm Detroit, and you'll be
surprised at the way he'll, fix up the
deceased.
When the undertaken came in, Mrs.
Stun shook hands and said that death
was sure to overtake every living
thing sooner or later. She mentioned
the kind of coffin she wanted, stated
the number of hacks, the hour for the
funeral, and held the end of the tape
line while he measured the body.
Several other neighbors came in
and she ordered them around and soon
j. had everything working smoothly.
The widow was sent TO her room TO
weep out her grief, doors and win
dows were opened, and as Mrs, Stun
built up good baking fire she said:
''Now, then, we want pie and cake
and sauce and raised biscuit and float
ing island. He'll have watchers, and
watchers must have plenty 10 eat"
When the baking had been finished
the coffin and the undertaken arrived,
and the body was placed in its recep-
tacle. Mrs. Stun agreed with the un-
dertaker that the face wore natural
expression, and when he was going
away she said:
"Be around on time! Don't put in
any secend-class hacks, and don't have
any hitch in the proceedings at the
graveIn
From that hour until 2 o'clock of
the second dav thereafter she had full
charge. The widow was provided
with a black bonnet. Grape shawl,
ETC., the watchers found plenty to eat,
minister was sent for, eighteen chairs
were brought from the neighbor's,
and everything moved along like
clock-work.
"You must bear up" she kept say
ing to the widow, House-cleaning
must be done, that back yard must be
raked off, the pen stock must be
thawed out, and you haven't time 10
sit down and grieve. His life was in
sursd, and we'll go down next week
and select some lovely mourning
goods"
Everybody who attended said they
never saw funeral pass off Sc smooth
1y, and when the hack had landed the
widow and Mrs. Stun at her door
again Mrs. Stun asked:
"Now, didn't you really 'enjoy the
ride, after all p
And the widow said she wouldn't
have believed that she could have
stood it SO well.-DetrOit Free Press
HOW BLONDs ARE MADE.