davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-04-02

This little story, it is needless to say, is
from Western paper:
Old Uncle Jimmy, as he was called, was
strong and devout Methodist. He al.
ways took leading part as one Of the
congregation, and sometimes the "boys'
thought he interested himself little more
than necessary about their affairs and
doings, for heEwas always lecturing some
one about their "morals," and exposing
their bad deeds to the public. So they,
the boys, concluded they would break
him of this very bad habit.
The school.house in which the services
were conducted was arranged in their old
style--the seats running around the sides
of the room. Now Uncle Jimmy had one
particular seat which he always claimed
and occupied during services.
Now for the plan Of attack, which was
thus:
A small hole was made through the
seat and common darning needle fasten
! ed to a wooden spring under the seat, to
which was attached string running
around the entire room parallel with the
seats; the string was fastened to the seat
so that when it was pulled in certain d.
rection it would cause the needle to pass
up through the seat, and whoever hap
oened to be on it would receive the full
benefit of the situation.
Well the time came for trial the boys
were all there early. At last Uncle Jim
my came in and dropped into the acCus-
toned scat.
No sooner had he touched, however,
than he bounded up again with yell
that might easily have been mistaken for
that of a mad dog. On looking around
for the cause of his sudden discomfort he
could find nothing, and soon all was quiet
again
After services had begun some one gave
the string another pull, when Uncle
Jimmy shouted out:
Joking going on here y
The minister and congregation looked
at him, and some of them arose in their
seats; but, as before, everything quieted
down and services proceeded.
After while, forgetting his troubles,
Uncle Jimmy gradually went off into the
Gland Of nod" when the string was again
jerked, more resolutc than before. Uncle
Jimmy jumped again, rubbing the affiict'
ed part, and exclaimed:
"Joking--joking going on here y
This time the parsons and deacons gath
cred around him. and the boys being no
longer able to hold in, burst out laughing,
in which the rest Of the congregation
soon followed suit.
A more thorough search was made and
the needle was found but not the boys.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-04-02
Something Like a Cat.

Talking about cats" said uncle Tim,
a regular Yankee, puts me in mind of a
cat once owned. Let me tell you about
her. She was a Maltee, and what that
cat didn't know wasn't worth KNOWN.
Here's one thing She did In the spring
Of 40 / moved into the little old house on
the Crooked River. We put our proyis.
ions down in the cellar, and the first night
we made our beds on the floor. But
we didn't sleep. No sooner had 1t come
dark than we heard tearin' and a
squeakin' IN the cellar that was awful. j
III the candle and went down. Jerusa.
lem! Talk about rats! never saw
such sight in my born day. Every inch
Of the cellar bottom was covered with
them. They run up to me and all over
me. | jumped back into the room
and called the cat. She
came down and looked. guess
she sat there about ten minutes looking
at them rats, and | was waitin & see
what she would do. By.and.by she shook
her head, and turned and went up stairs.
She didn't care 70 tackle 'em. That night
! tell you. there wasn't much sleep. In
the mOrnin' could not find her. Shed
gone. guess the rats had frightened
her, and, 70 tell the plain truth, didn !
wonder much. Night came again and the
old cat hadn't come. Says Betsy Ann
Chats my wife, 20 me, Tim, leave this
place; the rats'll cat as up Says ], just
let the old cat be- ! didn't believe she'd
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-04-02
HALLIDAY AND SHeARMka.
The DisreputabIe Taciicy Of Jim
Fisk's Lawyer.
Correspondents Philadelphia Times

Correspondence Philadelphia Times.l
BRooKLYY, March l9.-Three days ago
wrote to you that some Of the evidence
put in for Mr.. Beecher had mystified me.
Yesterday, after hearing the Assistant
Pastor OF Beeeher's church testify by the
aid of the lawyer clerk Of the church,
Tom Sherman, | have backslid. This
assistant is named Halliday. He is an
old, bald, hook-nosed man, with an ex.
hortatiye grey eye, cold as an empty
Congfess.watcr bottle. lie bears the ap.
pearance Of one created to attend funcr.
ais and add 10 their desolation by drop
ping in the clods and making the hope
less prayers. Beneath this obdurate,
hard exterior he failed to conceal lively
conceit Of his own importance, and jus.
tice does not subdue his desire TO hardngre
the Court, illumine the jury and make a
record in this trial as the unusually
knowing witness. lie is the curate Of
the church, the personal ,tipendiary Of
Mr.. Beecher, who orders MIN to be paid
the handsome sum, for clergyman OF no
talents, Of $4,000 per annum. This, ]
believe, is very nearly the full salary Of a
Methodist bishop.
II Mr.. Halliday had answered the gen.
eral expectation Of his meek relation TO
ths Church, and his modioority other.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-04-02
vicIsy ContradIcts the CoIored Wit
NOSES.

Victoria Woodruff has written a denial
Of the truths Of some Of the assertions
of tho colored witnesses who testified ia
the Beecher trial on Thursday the 25th.
She says Tilton never stayed in her
house but one night, and that was when
he wrote the biography. She never took
lunch with him at Demonico' S and Kutz's.
neither had she conversation with tho
negro on free love, or talked Of making
500 900 by tho publication Of the scan
dial in the presence Of any witnesses, as
alleged. She also says one Of the colored
men was discharged by her for untrust.
worthiness.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-04-02

left us for good and all. just as Betsy
Ann was putin the children to bed we
heard scratchin' and waulin' at the out
side door. ! went and opened it, and there
stood old Malice on the door step, and be-
hind her whole army Of cats, all parad-
ed as regular as any soldiers. | let our
old cat in and the others followed her.
She went right to the cellsr door and
scratched there. began to understand.
Old Malice had been out for help. /
opened the way to tn, cellar; she marched
down, and the other cats tramped after
her in regular order--and as they went
past counted tifty-six of 'em Oh, my /!
if there wasn't row and rumpus in that
ere cellar that night, then I'm mistaken |!
The next morning the old cat came up
and caught hold of my trousers leg, and
pulled me toward the door. | went down
to see the sight. Talk about your Bunk.
er Hill and Boston massacres Mercy
! never saw such sight before nor since.
Betsy Ann and me, with my boy Sammy.
were all day as hard at work as we could
be, clearing the dead rats out Of that ere
cellar. It's fact-every word Of it.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-04-02

..-U. S. Treasurer Spinner hes nomi-
mated Col. Frank Jones to be cashier Of
the Treasury, vice Wyman, appointed
Assistant Secretary. Col. Jones is chief
Of the redemption division Of the Treas
urcr's Office. Secretary Bristow has not
yet determined who he viii appoint 70
the vacant position.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-04-02

1t il reported from Pekin, China, that
one Of the late Emperor's concubines n
discovered to be pregnant. IL true, and
tho child is son, the present succcssioa
is in danger Of being set aside.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21
Domestic EcOHOInV.

\ SMILE costs the giver nothing ; yet
it is beyond price to the erring and re-
pcnting, the sad and cheerless, the lost
and forsaken.
VINEGAR PIE.-One teacupo of molasses,
II of sugar, half a cup of good vinegar.
Thicker with flour, or an egg, and then
bake it with two crusts.
To REMOVE old paint, cover with a
wash of three parts quick limestone,
Stacked insswater, to which one part pearl
ash is added. Allow the coating to re-
main for sixteen hours, when the paint
may be scraped off.
GERMAN ToAsT.-To one egg, beaten
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21
4 MN.

IN ancient Rome, ii was the father who
could display the moral sublimity com
pretended in the sending of sons, who
had rebclIcl against the State, to the
h~eadsman. IN America it is the son
who gives the cu,, ior the sake OF prin-
ciplo, to the old gentleman. In Finley,
OF the Gainesville Georgia. .N~outhroH,
see Brutus reversed. Finley has been
z%calously supporting Ben Hill Ill the
canvass for Congressman. at Il late
date the paternal Finley, a Republican,
enters the contest against Hill. The
Southron learns this on the eve of
going to press. 1t places us, says the
youngster, in an awkward position.
While we have nailed to our masthead,
the young man continues, the name of
Hon. =. II. Hill, and desire to see him
elected to Congress, We are not wanting
in the filial affection which should char
a~cterize every o toward his father, but
we cannot give him our support. eve
have ever differed with him in poll
tics, and regret TO oppose him
in his race. As matters now
stand, we are the worst mixcd-rp
man in the whole country. To advocate
the claims Of Mr.. Hill on one side, and
oppose our father on the other, is not an
enviablc position. Would that it were
not 50; but rs we have espoused Mr..
Hills cause, We will stand by him to the
end" Glorious instance of what rhct0ri-
clans call moral sublimity !-Chicago
Times.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21
NOCEI I.fDESyHY

For some time those who III the past
haze been accustomed, in fullness of the
heart, to drop offerings into the poor
boxes of the cathedral, in Mott street,
New York city, have seemed to be but
lightly impressed with the text saying,
cit is more blessed to give than to re
%ceive." Regularly, as OF Old, have the
poOr-boXc5 been opened, but the offer
ings found have been scanty or nothing
at all. Some one opening the boxes
lately while considering the paucity Of
the offerings Glanced also to note the
act that among the few pennies in one
Of the boxes there was a substance re-
sembling bird-lime. This circumstance
was the cause OF a grave suspicion, and
forthwith Il watch was set upon the
boxes, as the sequel proved not without
decided and startling results. The Off
Ger in wait caught II August Barth in
the very act of taking pennies from the
box, and the mode of the thief's opera
ton was novel enough. Barth had Il
long piece of whalebone, one end of
which was covered with Il tenacious sub
~satnce; this whalebone he thrust in
among the money, and when it was with
drawn some OF the coin was tolcrably
certain 10 adhere. The sum total of
damage to the contribution fund result
ing from this ~insinuating way Of Barth's
is estimated as Il total to be not less than
$500. Mr.. August Barth, who pleaded
guilty, has the credit Of originating a
novel industry, but Il which, with
all its merits, has certain drawbacks
adapted to render it Improbable.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21

beat any girl making a pot of coffee. /
don't often get a chance to try nova
days, but | have seen the time when my
knowledge of the business came just in
play.
No telling where you may be cast away
some time in your life. The most help
less folks I have v met are those who
can do only one sort Of work. Learn to
do some one thing very well indeed, and
make that your dependence for living,
then add to it just rs much skill and
knowledge as you can. 1t costs nothing
to carry knowledge.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21

well, add one cup sweet milk or cream ;
season with a little salt and pepper.
Cut in slices stale bread, and dip III the
milk to moisten, and fry in butter on a
griddlc. This is an extra nice dish for
breakfast.
LETTUCE SALAD.-MOst h0U3ekecpers
! use vinegar, vinegar and sugar, OF vim
egar and meat gravy for lettuce, but
sour cream from sloppercd milk and SIT
car, added to the lettuce after it is crt
mp fine, makes q most delicious and
healthy salad.
: SPONGE CAKE.-Six eggs, four crps
-four, three cups sugar, n cup water,
II teaspooufUl soda, two ~t2aspoonfuls
cream Of tartar; flavor with lemon. Beat
the eggs and sugar together until very
light, then add soda dissolved in water,
and the cream Of tartar mixed thor
ouShly with the flour.
For table furnishing, glass is now
more fashionable than silver, and plain
white china is quite out of fashion. Min
ton ware-an English china-with sur
face III broad ornGmented bands OF
chocolate brown, is much III vogue; but
crockery in color-dark blue-all the
maiolica hues and designs, plates GOV
cred with leaves, birds, towers, land
scapcs, beasts, and fishes-with cake,
fruit, and desert plates-ali odd, unique
devices seem to be the demand of to-
day.
BAY RUM is a useful, agreeable, and
inexpensive application to the scalp.
Everybody should use it, so we will give
a formula for making it as good as can
be purchased anywhere, and at a small
cost : Take oil of bay, ten fluid drains !;
oil Of pimentO, one fluid dram acetic
ether, two fluid ounces q; alcohol, three
gallons !; water, two and a half gallons.
Mix, and in two weeks filter it carefully,
when you will have a superior article of
bay rum, better than can be pur-
chased at an extravagant price, already
prepared.
IL furnishing windows, waste no money
on paper shades. If there are no shut
terS get shades of dark, heavy Holland,
or in oil, if there are shutters. White
muslin on rollers are the best. TO the
cornice Of the window may be added 3
lambrequin in color and material TO
match the mantel and brackets; it may
be well to add that l~ambrequins should
be lined, as the sun would otherwise
soon fade the material. The addition OF
lace or gauze curtains IS q matter OF
fancy. In q room Of common Use they
are often Of more trouble than worth;
moreover, anything that keeps ont the
sun and light should not be p~atrUnized.
It is Il great mistake to keep a room in
profound darkness for any reason.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21
F1RM md
agriculture.

Thou goddess of the golden shcaf
And Of the purple vine,
OF opening flower and budding leaf,
Thy coronal We Irvine;
And grateful heap the ripcninG store,
Of autumn scrc and wint-r hoar,
On affairs wholly thine!
Thy votaries in every cline,
Faithful and Jealous are.
Joyful We hail tn" glad spriIg-ti!nc,
our waiting fields prepare:
Aud when the wakcnlng pulses start,
III natures sympathetic heart,
Dispense the seeds with care.
y" toll nor labor we regard,
The promise is oGr Own!
CEfdilIns shall p" our reward
When autumn winds haye blown.
1t cheers us IN each daily task,
lis all the r"colupcnsc We ask
To reap as %c have sown.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21

"Alas.' said the man, Elm ruined
forever"
"Ruined,' said he. Chow arc you
ruined?"
81 came to this we'll for a draught of
water" he replied, "Hnd while | drank
L let drop a costly gem, and it hes be
meath the water"
els that ALL said he.
"Ah!' exclaimed the other, sit Is Of
great worth.
$50 1t may he" SAID the honest man;
"bnt [ have lost my sheep and donkey,
which L was unwllIlngly about to sell
at the next market town, that L might
pay of some pressing debts, yet l Go not
bcwall my loss
WHATS that loss, replied the other,
compared to my loss Of n gem worth
thousands OF ducat8, and without which
1t would only cost my life to return to
the hlng, my master, who sent me with
1t as a gift to a royal friend beyond the
Seas!"
why 90 you not go Gown III the
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21
Fires.

The Virginia City miners are fully
convinced the scientists are right i'll as
sorting that a great part of the bulk of
the earth is still a seething molten mass,
that has not cooled in the untold ages
elapsed since our globe was shot out of
the sun or some other hot place into
cooling space. The rocks that some
times get hot and stay heated at the
bottom of their mines prove this to them
and they give up the question. Lately
q mine took fire and burned up and fell
i'll. The owners thought it would be
best and cheapest TO sink another shaft
near the old one and work into the mine
at a depth of 1000 feet. The shaft was
sunk, and the rocks that had fallen into
the old mine with the burning timbcrs
were found to be rcd-hOt after having
been heated to whitcness five months
before. No wood remained among the
rubbish, but the rocks appeared to re-
tain nearly all the heat the timbers Of
the mine had generated. It is stated Ill
this connection that nearly three years
after the great fire in the Yellow Jacket
mine places were found i'll the lower
levels where the rock was still red-hOt.
Therefore the miners are forced to be
iieve in the unQuenchable fire.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21
ToIro, anG Kanb-fm italian Lcgcn

Hotr"s anG Eomb-fm HaIiam Lcgcn
Three robbers were walking by the
roadside, evening, after Il day Of
profitless anxiety.
"It'sa pity" said one of them, "that
we can DO 10 better than this. Iamun-
willing to let & day pass without some
gain"
"Here's 4 chance" said another and
as they looked up, they saw on the brow
Of the hill before them a MAJ riding on
a donkey, and Icy a string leading sheep
with a bell attached to its neck.
81 Will steal that sheep" said the first
of the robbers.
"You cannot" said the second edo
you not perceive the cord and the bell?"
81 see thcm," said the first but
they present no obstacle to me. I'll steal
that sheep"
elf you DO" said the second, "Tn
steal the donkey"
What! :" said the third, "steal a mans
donkey from under him. You cannot"
"You viii soon know BETTER" sid the
second.
eff you DO" said the third, "Iu steal
all the clothes the man has upon him, or
forfeit my ]pretentions to professional
excellence"
"Bah!" said the other two, "you viii
attempt what You cannot accomplish"
eve will see," said the third.
The unsuspecting man was plodding
along, without thoughts Of injury, when
the first approached and cut the cord and
bell from the sleeps neck, and attached
the bell to the donkey's tail, where its
Jingle continued to be heard.
In due time the man looked behind TO
observe the condition of his sheep, and,
to his horror, found it was gone. In dis
may and distress, he appealed to the first
person he met, and asked if he had seen
any one with a sheep.
eyes," replied the person, 81 saw a
man clambcring down the hillside with
sucha prize, but thought it was his own"
"Hold my donkey for a moment"
said the man; and, as the person did SO,
he went in the wrong direction in pur-
suit of the robber and his sheep.
Finding, however, that his pursuit was
vain, he returned, tired and GREATNESS,
TO where he had left the donkey. But
10 it was not there. Sheep and donkey
both were stolen from him. Sad and
perplexcd he sat down to reflect and
grieve over his losses !; but soon he heard
the wailing of some II in distress. He
listened for a moment, and the sound
became audible.
"What is this z" he said. "Can any
II be more miserable than II"
But the cry of anguish became louder
and still louder. He fastened to the
place whence it proceeded, and there BE-
held a man weeping rs though there was
no comfort for him.
"What is this, my friend?" said he.
"How are you afflicted"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21
4 LIN" Of Errryh ing.

81 wish, John, you would drive Il
few nails for me III the wood house out
here said Maggie to her brother, 81
have been wanting them this long time,
but always forgot to ask you"
"Nhy not drive them yourself, Mag
gle, asked her father.
""hy, L don't know how, father, .
she said III some surprise.
"Thirtcen years old IS none too young
o learn" said her father. 81 guess thc
boys could drive one by the time they
were seven. You are certainly as capa-
bic as they were AZ that age." he added
with Il smile.
but don't believe / could do boys
work" she sud doubtfully.
You have two good hands and ten
plump fingers Just the same as they, and
1t IS AL Il mistake that girls can't learn
these little arts just as well as their
brothers. Come, my girl, L Will show
You III a minute how 1t IS done, and
half a dozen times practice will enable
you to beat the boys. | have observed
that you are much quicker to learn
anything h they are. Go to mend
ing your harness, john, we VIII attend
to the mails.
Encouraged and mlnuteiy instructed
by her father, Maggie drove IL all the
nails successfully, and SO pleased was
she with her success, that She would
nave set a 0ouble row around that shed,
L 1lllilk' Il I"lilcf lla'i loC cohcl'"ted that
these would answer Tor the present.
There, that little lesson helps to
make you more independent, my girl.
Ii you want a nail put III, you Will not be
Obliged to wait forany OF themen folks to
do 1t. That Is a comfortable sort OF Ill
dependence which L wish the woman's
rights folks would 1ncuIcate more than
they dc. Now liIteach you some day
to catch ana harness up a horse. You
have already learned to drive Il gentle
horse. L don't want you to try your
hand on Lion or Billy, for they might
cut up, and you are not strong enough
to hold them. But it is very handy for
a m to know how to drive Il gentle
horse. She can, many a time, do a little
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-21
iNCIENT WHEAT.

| have before me, says a writer, heads
of wheat grown on the eastern side of the
Mississippi, within ten miles of Memphis,
from grains taken from an ancient Egvp-
tian sarcophagus sent some years ago by
the American Consul at Alexandria tothe
patent Office at Washington. The stalks
and leaves are very like those OF Indian
corn, though smaller, and the heads or
grain like that of sorghum or broom
II Strange but true it is that this
very wheat, degenerate but perfect in all
its incidents, still grows among the weeds
and grass that cover mounds il the low
lands eighteen miles west of Memphis.
How many centuries since these kindred
products OF Egyptian agriculture We're
separated, the II to move slowly, per
haps with nomadic tribes, around the
globe, crossing Asia and the Pacific; and
the other moving west, in our time,
across the Atlantic, and both growing
green even here, in the year of our Lord,
1874, beneath the shadows of another
Memphis on the shores of another Nile (?
The same writer says that the same race
Of people cultivated tho same crops and
garnered them in the same peculiar man
ncr many and many a century ago.