Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1875-03-25
Fresh HunoF.

Men who never do wrong seldom do
anything.
What is the difference between a fresh
ct ard q salt one
The first shad of the season now fire.
quently makes its appearance.
A WATERFOWL widower, who recently
buried his second wife, finds all his lady
friends opposed to a third term.
A gentleman wanted TO send four
pounds of Guilford clans 10 Omaha.
through the pOstofice recently.
This weather is thawiDg out the water
pipes, and the milkmcn begin 10 make
their rounds regularly once more.
Now that the thaw has come the up
right citizen is no longer obliged 10 take
his regular monthly bath in pint cup.
Therell be a damp bad freshet this
spring, when the snow starts. Better
practice running up the garnet stairs.
A three cent fractional currency, an
Anticipated relic of the old war times, is
in circulation. Lock out for il.
Venice is doubtless a nice place 10 live
in, but no resident ever had the pleasure
of going down cellar after pan full Of
Rhode Island greetings.
Navigation is open at Oswero. A
man who stepped off the wharf the other
day says he went right TO the bottom
without meeting any obstruction.
The ice in this locality is so thick that
il has to be split lengthWise three times,
and then it is almost impossible to house
it without raising the roof.-Roctegtey
Democrat.
We had a touch of spring the other
morning when the mercury was five de
grees below zero. Boots not on, and
stepped on a carpet tack Wa,ert0lcl
Ref0Tnley.
A young colored lady Of Preston
wears shoes seventeen inches long, and
there is so much of her on the ground
that she never gets the dampness out OF
her system.
The English Sparrows around town
whiled away the time during the
last snow storm by singing, come.
ONE ; sweet, sweet ONE. Be hit hever
so 'umble, there's no place like omc.
-R0ms Sentinel
If the Southern people really want e.
good feeling with the North.
why do they keep sending US word every
week that they are enjoying green peas
and strawberries in Savannah. etc
Bo5a5o Erpress.
Water is 50 scarce in this city that a
well known citizen was Obliged TO get
out of bed, the other evening TO cross
the street in his slippers, to get a glass OF
beer with which to quench his burning
thirst. Burlington Ha1rE- Eys.
When a man drags a three-ccnt post
age stamp from the dark recesses of q
bladder and tenders il IN payment for a
copy of the Times, NC are satisfied that
he's not any better Ffixed" than we are.
and our hearts beat IL sgmpathy.-Ful-
ton Times.
Mrs. .BurnbaIn, In one Of her spicy
letters to the st. Louis Republican, truly
says that Brooklyn is remarkable for
progressive piety. If Jay Gould could
run 3 railroad train to Heaven, he'd take
Brooklyn piety as headlight for the To-
connective.
Geology is all well enough IN lis
way, said Blifkins, the other morning
''But il takes twice the science to under
stand getting into a pair of breeches
when the lining in the legs is torn, that
u does to permeate the Silurian or any
other OF the Paleozoic ages.
The late Congress repealed q portion
Of the Thanking privilege, and there are
now over million volumes Of public
documents awaiting shipment. As soon
as our Congressman begin to circulate
hem through the mails, the price Of coal
viii have to come down.-N0rrfst0ac
Herald
The EateTpTjse at Cave Springs, Ca,
lsserts that that place has the most
courteous deputy sheriff IN America, but
you ought to see the Detroit officer who
;arries extra watch keys, a cork-screw,
pare lead pencils, pen-knife, always
las dollar to lend, gives away tobacco,
q ma goes security on notes.--Detroit
'sPiikins has endeared himself 10 his
whole neighborhood by thrashing plum
Der within an inch of his life. The villain
vas discovered to have plugged up the
yater-pipe leading into the cellar, and
hen remarked to Spilkins that he'didnst
zee no way but to dig down and thaW
i out. N. Y. Commercial AdrstisaS