St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-12-03
Squibs.


Squibs.
Potato-diggers are quoted i'll Iowa nj
S2.75 per diem college valcdirtoiians
and poets rate at Il tiitle lower.
Mrs. Livermore says that marriage
and IL home are not all that a woman
wants. she's just right. They want
new bonnet.
Shaks spcarc said. ''TlIcIc is Il tide in
the affairs of men," but it appears to
hc pretty much all tied back in the af-
talrs of women.
Il wonder If its sea-Sickmrs~ that
makes saIlnrs always ahcaving up
anchors :" exclaimed Aunt IIepzhath.
as she looked th"u.hulll up from her
paper.
The Rev. Murray SAYS that there is
nothing IN the Bible t" prohibit
Christian from keeping Il racrhorse."
No. il is the nothing III the pocket that
prohibits most of them from keeping
one.
WAS the crowd tumuIiuouS - in
quircd one man of another who had
Just come from Il mass meeting. Too
multu"u>. replied the other. ''Oh no,
lust about multu"Ii> enough Ia comfort
ably fill the hail.
luE cant depend on kam>;l> flour. \
Loaf of bread passed int" LraVcnworth
Jail. contained Two files, Il knife, Il bottle
OF acid ana Il roll nt money. y country
which grows such wheat Is that cannot
expect t" get ahead very fast.
Il say. Samb". where did You git de
/ SHIRT studs p ''In de shop. to hc sure"
'lal. YOU Just told me You hadn't no
money" "Dat'> right .'IIow did you
CIT 'em den ?" well, | saw on card
/ in de window. collar studs. 50 | went
in and cnllarcd EN-
Thirc is Il CRATE Imcnny rules 10 make
mHrrid life cumfuItahlc. hut the golden
enc IL this TO slow. and give each
other haif' of the road. This rule IL az
simple aud easy ~ milking Il COW on
the right side, and will hc found as
uScphull ~ lie to avoid hot journals and
dri aXlcs Josh Billings.
What is it, Katy ?" asked the teach
eI. rs she noticed thc TINY uplifted hand.
KATY sat with slate aud pencil before
her. evidently very much pcrpleXed.
"Will You please tell me how to spell
tmkan ?" "What is the word ?" ''Tun-
kan. | don't know how to spell it."
Tell me hat YOU wish to write,' said
the teacher, puzzled in her turn. Il
want to write, i love my teacher mere
than tlmkan tongnc cam tell"
Jennie. you're my sweetheart" said
a nine Ncar-uld suitor, as he sat alone
with his hearts idol. the other evening.
.'Iiuw can he Nour sweetheart, asked
the little miss. ''wlrn | am I3 years and
YOU are only . ," Are Nou 1872" "Of
course am" We'll" answered the
Juvenile beau, after rejecting Il little,
I'D Il been l3. too, if hadn't been
sick 50 much when | was little"
A doctor went ont West to practice
his profession. An old friend met him
ON the street. one day. and asked him
how he WAS succeeding in his business.
First rate" hc replied. "I'vr had one
ca>c." We'll and what was that p at
was birth - said the doctor "Ilow
did Non succeed with that o' "Well,
the old woman died. and the child died
But | think I'll save the old man yet"
\ new biographrr of Artcmas Ward
SAYS the genial humoriSt usually wrote
with one leg over the arm of his chair
We had always supposed that he wrote
with pen or pencii but to write with
one leg over the arm of il chair is moi
50 difficult as to write with one arm
over the lru of a chair.
Th. II I,s.,h tNo, Manning II.r.,I,
s,ys ,ditnri,IIr ~ ynuur lad, h,,
.,.,t ,,s :, nn,,n which we ,.,1,nnt nrint
. .,ItL,u,h ", shonIJ ike very m,,rh +,
+ ,rr.,tify th,. fair ,utIu,,.ss One of th,
= n,in r,..,s,us fnr this nrtinn ,u our mar
= !. tI,. f,,., th,t h,. tI,. v.;lI.St nrn,.,s
, nf vrr.itir,tinu W.. find !; utterly i'm
, nnssiIJr ia u,,k, .rhinorrr,S' ri, ,m,
with .ou,cu EIiz,I,rtI,' nr ..r,z,IIe' viii
washing macIIime.'"
; That honesty which has made New
: Eur!and famous. i, hrcathcd in with it.
= IunIIuIaiu air. and the. child take, il tn,
= n,nmrrt if i born. \ D1uhur, muI
Thought h, heard some one. after hi.
; ,u,Lr,s S,tur,I,, ui.,ht U,. went nm
! Mia hi. ruu. in lime to send 4 load %
= shot ,ft,.r , r,.ti,iuu G"utc. Tine mex
morning he called on his next doc
n,irhhnr, and asked ti,. little riiI whcr,
4 h,I mother WIS. ..Shc j. IN the othe
= room picking shot out of pas back
. >1id the child.
..,,.., ,,;,,,..,,,, I,..,..I ,,.,,..r. ,i,,L,,
,..,.. r,,.,,,,.,.,I, -,,i,,,II,. ,J.,,,t,.d a.,