The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-03-12
SOBER As A JUDGE.

| don't careI | say it, and | stick to
it, and, if it were necessary, I'd swear it
on the biggest testament or prayer-book
that was ever used for taking an oath
upon in any court of justice in the king
dom.
You say it's all nonsense, that it was
imagination, that | didn't see 'em but,
i'll the name of all the wise men in the
Fast, how the dickens can you know
You can tell what you see, but that's no
reason why YOU should be able to tell
what see. My eyes were never in your
head any more than yours were in mine.
So l say it again, and I'll maintain it
through thick and thin, round or solid,
that | saw those two rs plain as eyes
could see them, and that they were there.
This is how it was Jack Bigley had
just done walking his wards at Fawkesl's,
His governor had come down stunning,
bought him share in an old country
practice, and Jack was off to mend
broken legs, liniment old women's rheu-
MATES, and to take little strangers
whom, as matter of course, he would
dig up with golden shovel from under
the large plantation of rose bushes in his
back garden-snugly in his coat-tail
pocket to all the married couples i'll the
district who needed supply.
He was always n good fellow, was
Jack and many's the Jolly night he's
had in my room in Double street,
Borough. I'll bet anybody sovereign
even money that there isn't man living
who could brew such good punch out of
bad spirits as could Jack Dingley
Oh, the loo we've had, and the rubbers
we've played the oysters we've eaten,
and the songs we've sung long after mid
night And when, of morning, we've
gone down to the hospital with buz-
zing i'll the head and "a sensation as of
sick millstones going iound and round
who could ever contri ee better than Jack
pleasant little piclSme-up in the dis
pensaryl one which. really did pick you
up, you know, stal 1 you upon your feet,
and set you going wound up tight for
the remainder of DE day.
Jack took me by the sleeve one morn
ing in his last week, just before we were
going into the theater, where old Bogus
was going to perform his celebrated
operation of removing n mans head
without chioroform-hi operation, you
know, for turned brain-and whispered
"To.night-eight sharp--tripe and
onions"
! OF course 1 went, and was there to
the minute. Tripe Yes, | should
think there was tripe, and hot potatoes
in their jackets four great dishes oi
oysters-fat little natives, mind you-
none of your shabby Scotchmen, sprawl
ing all over spongy shell. There was
the biggest lobster | ever saw a splen
did salad whack of picked salmon
and, Just as l entered the room wher,
the supper was spread out, the fellow
from the pub round the corner was jus
putting a bright pewter pot of porter
&. with head on il like n calliflower, n
every mans elbow-for they were al
ready seated-seven, and n place lef
for me.
That was a supper-thc remains were
not worth much-and the noise we haC
made over it was only the overture (,
the play about to begin; for no soone
was the table cleared than Jacks biz
spirit stand was fetched out kettle o
hot was singing on the hob the waite
brought in lemons and sugar, pipes am
tobacco Jack put his cigar-box beside
them and then, while we religiousl,
set to work to fill the room with smoke
Jack slipped out into his bedroom, re
turned with his wash-hand basin, whicl
he swore was perfectly clean for the oc
casion, and in it brewed the bigges
jorum of punch / ever saw in my life.
1t wasn't too big for us, for we wen
again and again, Jacks face beaming a
he ladled out the steaming compound
And then the harmony Talk abou
making the welkin ring You shoul,
have heard us make the glasses ring til
somebody in the next house hammere,
at the wall when, taking il for applause