Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1875-12-29
An Enthusiastic Tax Collector.


HEIDELBERG, GERMANY, Oct. I, 1875.
An Enthusiastic Tax Collector.
Some time ago the authorities in oul
county appointed Mr.. Slingsby assesso
and tax collector. The principal charac
teristlc of Mr.. Slingsby is enthusiasm. Ill
has an idea that whenever man get.
anything new it ought to be taxed. and h,
IS always on hand to perform the service
l had about l5 feet added to one of M,
chimneys last spring. and when it wa
done Slingsby called and assessed it unde
the head Of "improved real estate,' a
$50 and collected two per cent on it. 4
few days later, while | was standing b,
the fence, Slingsby came up and said
" Beautiful dog you have therc"'
" Yes, it is 4 setter
Indeed. A setter, hey? The tax or
settlers is two dollars. I'll collect it now
while have it on my mind"
| | settled the obligation, and the next
day Sllngsby came round again. He
opened the conversation with the re.
mark
! by the way, when did you put tha,
weathercock on your stabe?'
g 1esterday.'
! Then he put down on his memorandum
four dollars on weathcrcock
What do You mean by four dollars tax
on weathercock? l never heard of snch q
thing"
Did mt, hey? Why she comes in under
the head of scientific apparatus.' She's
put up there 10 tell which way the wind
blows amt she? Well, that's scientific
intelligence, and the apparatus is liable tc
tax.
Mir. Slingsby, that is the most absurd
thing | ever heard Of. You might Just rs
we'll talk Of taxing Butterwck's twins"
Buttcr-you don't mean to say But
terwick has twins? Why. certainly they're
taxable. They come under the head o.
'poll-tax' Three dollars apiece I'll &C
right down there. Glad You mentioned
it." Then paid him and he left with
BGtterwick's twins on his memorandum
book.
A day or two afteward Mr.. Sling>by
called to see me and he said:
I've got a case that bothcrs me. You
know llough. the tobacconist? Well, he ::
just bought new wooden Indian to stand
in front Of his store Now have etron.
:,
| don't know where to place it. Woulo
it come in Is statuarv?' Somehow ,ha
don't seem exactly the thing. was 20
ing to assess it under the head of idols.
but the blamed idiots who got up this law
amt got i word in reference to idols
Think of that Will YOU? Why. we NIGH
have paganiSm raging all over this coun
try and we couldn't get 4 cent out o
81, Il l,,t Al.
head of craven images. only that ain
mentioned either. ! pose l could tax tn
bundle Of wooden cigars in his fist rs to
bacco, but that leaves ont the rest Of tn,
figure; and he's not liable to poll-tax be
cause he can't even vote. Now how woul
it strike YOU if levied on him as IN 'mmi
grant? He was made somewhercs else
than here, and he's came here from there
consequently he's an Immigrant That's m
view. What do You think Of i,?''
| advised him 10 try it upon that pla
and the next morning Mr.. Slng>bv an
Mr.. IIough had \ fight on the pavement il
front Of the Indian because Mr.. SlingSb
uicdto seize the immigrant for unpaid t,Ne
Singsbv was sent to Jail for larceny. an,
the business Of collecting taxes is tempo
rarilv suspended. -Mtr. .4ielcr. in v. J
Weekly.
4 STRANGE WEDDING FEE.-A clergy
man who was formerly located in thi
city. but is now in New York, married,
little over year ago, Il couple who at one
started for Europe. and have recent
returned. The bridegroom was
gentleman of wealth, and before lie pre-
srnted himself at the bridal altar. h
placed n 800 grcenback in his vest pocke
to give to the plrson for the marriage fee
and did pay it 10 him rs he supposed
While crossing the ocean he discovered
greatly to his astonishment. the bill In tn
pocket where he placed it. and could &C
count for its presence there only on tn
theory that he must have had another bill
of Il different denomination which he ha
donated to the clergyman by mistake
On getting back to this country he deter
mined to solve the mystery, and waite,
upon the reverend gentleman, who did no
recognize him, and inquired if on Il Ger
tain date he did not marry Il certain
couple. The clergyman remembered tn
occasion perfectly. Il know am abou
to ask an impairment question" said til
visitor. - but should like to be infurme
what fee you received for performing. tn
ceremony?" The clergyman was not pre-
pared to make any disclosure. naturall
being astonishcd that his interviewe
should PROFOUND such a question. but upo
an explanation being made that the gen
teman himself, whom he then recognized
was the one he had married. lie said tha
he would, of course. CRAFTY him, since h
was SO anxious to know. Il received,
he then went on to say, "a very snal
quanty of tine-cut chewing tobacco, folde
in 4 very small piece of paper" Tha
was enough; the only thing remaining t.
be done was to apologize. laugh heartily
shake hands and make the 500 depoSi
good.-HarJord CouraH.