The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1875-12-17
WHAT THE WITS say.

Now is the time to plant mince pies. The
earliest crop always insures the fastest
night-mares. {. Tribune.
A Virginia editor says everybody
win smoke two centuries hence" He evil
IDENTIFY is not niversalist.-Boston Neacs.
A man named Martin has been convicted
of bigamy in having married two Elizabeth
Smiths. He ought to be sent to Libby
prison Dan6ury Neaos.
Philadelphia is engrossed with the Gen.
tennial, but Moody is urging her to look
ahead still further, and think of the mill
lennium. Chicago Journal.
Two hundred words a minute is Moody 8
linguistic pace, but we know woman who
could distance him in fifteen minutes and
show no signs of d distress.-B Boston Post.
"Alfred, darling, = tenderly observed a
young Milwaukee wife to her husband, 81
wish you'd take your ears down now;
Mariar wants to dust the ceiling. ."-Brook-
Ign Argus.
For President-the best man in the Re-
publican party. - WsIkamsport Bulletin.
We appreciate the compliment, but we
don't desire the ofice-Norrsstoson Herald
The correspondent who wrote us from
Hornellsville, N. Y, asking the best way
to start brass band in that village, is in
forr,al 4bat xsyo4or ,,a,I FILL af
in the hands of the right man will do the
business.-Dam6GryN Neaos.
In Virginia, Mr.. Allen Hannah has mar
ried Miss Hannah Allen, and Row Miss
Hannah Allen is Mrs. Hannah Hannah, and
is, perhaps, the only one whose name can
be spelled backward the same as forward.
That's what's the matter with Hannah
N. Y. Commercial .hdgertiser. s
The Ind annapolis Herald says: "The
man who designed our State seal is dead.
Tn the language of the Dutch poet, 1T is
well.' Any man who would try to make
people believe full grown buffalo bull
would deliberately rush up to a granger
who was chopping down a tree at sunrise
ought to die"
Seest thou much snow left ON the flag
ging; verify it is in front of the house Of
the slothful man. He sitteth by the fire to
keep himself warm; neither will he depart
for scuttle of coal. When the housewife
crieth aloud for a pail of water, he hath
not his boots ON. In the day when the
storm falleth he secludeth himself. He
saith to the shovel, "Ha, ha; let us rest in
peace" So his sidewalk is an abomination
in the eyes of the people, and his name is
in every mans mouth.-Rome Sentinel.
Two Hundred Miles on Hand car in Seven
teen and half Hours.
On Tuesday last, l.. ]. Rusk, Of La
Crosse, Wis, Father Genin, Catholic Mis-
sionary along the line of the N. P. r. r.,
Chas. Fl. Morris, of La Crosse, Wis, H.
Sprague, of Standing Rock, and Fl. Dodge,
of Bismarck, wished to go east from Bis
mark. The stage hadl eft on Monday and
would not 60 for week, which would de-
lay them too long to meet engagements in
the States. They thought of a hand-car
and then shudderingly considered the job
of pumping 200 miles. They finally con-
cluded it could and must be done, and after
getting permission to take ear, they
bade adieu to the good people of Bismarck,
and started on their journey with full
stomach and light hearts, happy with the
thought that in three days they would
bring up at Headquarters Hotel, Fargo, a
distance of 200 miles, where they could
rest day before seating themselves in the
comfortable coaches of the Northern Pacific
and be whirled along their journey. After
being out few hours and getting pretty
tired an idea suggested itself which proved
a blessing the rest of the journey. Mr..
Rusk had an GAP tent, and with it they
made sail, which relieved them of the
hard work of pumping" and gave them
leisure to view the objects of interest along
the route. Old Boreas proved to have a
better supply of wind than they had them
selves, and they howled along at speed
that sometimes made their hair stand on
end, making the distance from Bismark to
Fargo in seventeen and a half hours-an
average of nearly twelve miles an hour.
Mr. Walker, the operator here, informed
the operator at Bismarck of the time of
their arrival, and the quick trip excited
general astnnishment among those who are
posted on the beauties of handle ar travelling
generally, Fargo Times.