The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1875-12-17

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Much further shsn yeaa er,er,
rons srcat s.Ansir on, In hold r~,I.f-.
ny dartssi Oh. my dArs.rr'
~Whas hind Of man II Squire asmmcra.
anyway Y" -W~ll, you've se~n them sno~
ssorms along early III Winter. when sh~rs's
| . good deal ~ wind and not much sl~seA.
ingi That's The art he ~"
$40 laugh little. my lov~." said An Ohio
Congressman 10 his vile. Who locked -
serious - woman who had Just failed IN
| . divorce suit. II am waiting until read
your speech on 6nance," che quietly ~.
piled.
~wha, Il ratiof~ Asksd = professor 81 I
etusl~nt, Who r~rlieli .RAiio, sir; ratio Il
proportion" .And what II rrororticnr
1rropcr'ion. siri Why. proportion i rAdo. :
-And pray. Nir, uhAi ar~ both together '
/ II 4 a~A t&..e -
time
A young gentleman. very conc~ii~d and
vain Ok himself. with face much rtisd hy
The smHli-l,os. VA. not long slnce addressed
~ friend, who. after Almiiing him Ia,
some u,nc. sAid. .Whsn carved work come,
into fashion. you'll ~ th~ hxndso,nes. mar,
! ever put my sycs on"
III " I'll right enough 10 talk about REQ
logical urhesv-s. glacial ~lsrh1, and ri
them sort Of things" said 10 Mnas~n. ol
Idaho, shut when ycn ran 10 this, etrAt s~r
you've got science down 10 = iinr point
| Aud he threw his luws knife six rods and
cut OF C1inAmAn's ear.
II hav~n't eaton mou,hful In two days,
said tramp. and my wife and three chill
slrvn ar~ starving nj home" II would givs
IN YOU tNl0NAAN%s INV IsNttWHfHNVIHsA NNHufWU
shut have nothing smaller than nv,
said tLs s~~.ar
.SAy, mister" said soiled lookin. l,e,
on the wharf, Id yon ~ser give piece u
watermelon - i poor bay whore fn,h~r',
mcthcr's deal. u WIN secs u knn,lH,
school. II ha4 rot sor~ heel |" The MAJ
Wa d-~rl. Touched. and IHvc him lArg'
slice o'f 4 russen on~.
@raI~. lil you ses those Mica lisslc Knn
down IL thu s.ores" asknd 4 little NJ yen
old hoy. .rc~. Harry. aaw iha,n. Iii,
have 10 ma,,y children IL ferd and cloth
that / cannet afford 10 hny yoa oae.s n
Piled hls father, seriously, Little HAtr.
glanced a, 'le hahy In the cradle with n
loving expression on his faee. Finally n
: said .Well. papa, tell you WIN. you en-,
do, you can swap little Tommy Tor
gun"
III yen ,'are 10 play ,nArhlcs for keer
again." aid Mr.. uurtlcsealnp 10 HE elsiep
! hoy. eth whip you within MI inch OF yos,
llfs." And then Mr.. HnrtlsHcamp went o
Change, and lifted nr lia voice II lh~ on
hoard, and raised hls hand and shook II /
/ the MIR. and not rel IN thu fAoe - he cries
I ssisty .ssven. slxty-sev~n. for ffty thousMn
: cAsh or Jnlyl Put up or shut upl 0ls,,
seven cents = bushel, cash.
There's nothing IKE knowing what 10 do
. sudden emergencies. The othsr m0rninl
when man fsll ov~r board from TIN fsfr,,
: boat long haired man who sAt reading
newspaper, so~s MP and shouted; Stop hel-
back h~r--go ah~Ad throw him 4 plank
stop thu boat give him Arol,e-lowrr 10,
L ~ -
: hoasg'' The victim Wss saved. Int. u cour~
~ would have h+sn drowned bn, for Il
] skor.s ot the long haired man.
: The Art 81 Conversation. First pari
J. (opsuing convarsA,ion) --~ Ave You earl
Jim BaieS's father nays he'll give I'm Il
9 sack I" Hscond ditto latter la,lsc) ---.vN ho
|. father I" First dl,.o-.Why, Jim Ba.sA's
= second ditto tAf,sr pause -'.Jlm Has<s
whot" first ditlo.--AWhy. Jim Hates
. father" Second ditto (sfter rsurel Ali
j nMlssa father Well, what doss he asy
! Frst ditto.-.ssMys hen gisv I'm the aA~k
Hscond ditto latter pAmse) -.taiv~ I'm 4
whMtt" FirAt slitto.-a(iies I'm the sack
second ditto latter pA,,ss) --~tivs who Il
sackts First dis,o,--.Why. Jim Bates
Nccond ditto latter long l,As,s~l --.Ah.
hsard that IN day is>sers yssterd~yl"
Hard u Hearing. Polite stranger In
hurry, thinking hs had grAxsd ~ old ~
N tlsmAn's Ankl~)---lIeg pardon. Old (1sMll
a mAu--Ehl Polite stranger ilouder) - h
your parsloni md tlsntlan,An (nnconscio
u any hurp-Whys Polits slrangsr-I'
!. afraid kiuksd YOU Old Oeslll~mAn
!, Nit Polite stranger laAoutnx)--l hi1k
yon. Oil Gentleman (sNrl,risetl) WI
Tort Polite ~lrknyvr--lt was quito by /
cidsnt. Old NcniIrmAn( not catching lt)
khi--'bsH your pard - Polite s.lauk
(roAstu. In his earl Accident Old Giant
naAn (stxriing) -Dlsss my ami. YOU do
ray -! Wh~r~i WlMr~t hal~ nolUd,
killed. Polite stranger rushss " q
| lsixsa Ma irniIl