The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-11-13
CREAM OUR EXCHANGES.

The hlack.leg disease among cattle in Dako!
ounty. Neb., and vicinity is spreading.-Et.
They have it fearfully at Chicago, too, but Their
IL attacks the men and women.
very pretty Sunday school song is the on,
entitled, Put your armor on, my boys" Their
is however a young lady who doesn't like Il
n ear IL. She says It sounds like Put your arm
around me, boys" Her objections was EVIDENT.
in the plural--"boys.'-Er.
She is called honey because she is-hee'loyed
-Er.
Yes, and because she sells the boys so muck
Then she gets drone for husband and sooI
wakes him to erheart's content
Here's a general receipt for modern novel
Stir in fool to make us laugh
Two heavy villains and half;
A heroine with shceny hair,
And half n dozen beauy to spare;
mystery upon the shore;
Some bloody foot prints on floor;
4 shrewd detective chap, who mates
Those foot prints with the heros cghts,
And makes il squally for that gent
Till he is proven innocent;
A brown stone front; dingle dell;
Spice it with scandal; stir it well;
Serve it up holland the book Will sell.
--ScribHsr for -NOpnber.
The Rev Murray says there is nothing in the
Bible 10 prohibit Christian from kecpinga race
hoTse.-EL.
No. nor anywhere else except from lack OF
the whercwith to feed him.
II was mean trick that nature played on
Simon Bartholomew of Delaware. After living
a drunkard's life for forty years he died OF water
on the chest-EL.
This was the result Of his absurd habit Of
putting too much water in his whisky.
In illustration Of the perspicuous simplicity
OF the modern system Of chemical nomenclature
a medical contemporary quotes herman mon
ograph in which the authors refer 10 Il non'poi-
sonous principle IN the dniiHGid nilscdrid, which
agrees in all essentials with the hydrox1thylent-
rimethlammaniumhyd rats, and they remark
that amanitia must be considered as a hydroX1-
Observation-Disclosures
Oh, We knew that all the time
Said Stggins to his wife one day,
We've nothing left to eat;
II things 20 on this queer way,
We shan't make both cnds met
The dame replied, in words discreet
We're not so badly fed.
If we can make but one end meat,
And make the other bread"
Whenever there Is a storm at night on Lake
Michigan the authorities at Chicagomake one of
the hotel clerks go and stand down on the wharf
at the entrance to the river. Then they turn o
lantern on his imitation diamond pin, and the
storm tossed vessels in the otlng come sweeping
in to safety by the blazing beacon-light.
THE OLD vICKsBURG MARE
You saw, old mare!
The rockets red glare
At the great siege; saw the men
Grant and PemhcrtOn
Sign the captulatiOn,
And astonsh the nation.
But great the changes since
OF horses and Of men,
And since your illustrious master
Turned you out TO pasture,
And, worst of all while he is with pride and
glory swollen
You are sold, dog cheap, and strayed away or
stolenl
st Loub RclubljcaH
We read in the Bible in tie 18th chapter of
lst Samuel and 10Th verse, that there was no
Smith found throughout all the land of Israeli
Of course not All the Smiths were living in
this country at that time, and they have wonder
fully increased and multiplied since thcn-Er.
That might have been SO at that time, and
that solves the question which has puzzled the
learned divine, "who was Gains wife, Cain
went away from home and married one Of the
Smith girls.
A hen never has a regular mcal-shc always
gets piCkGdup dlnncr-C0mmercSdt Butittu1.l
Aud She has to scratch around considerably tol
get it, too. But then 1t doesn't cost anything
She has it all put down in the bill-Bosion Id
terttser-Ihosc punsters ought to be coopcd up.
Er
That last effort will stick in some ones crop
Up in Canada they want law forcing man
to vote. Curious country that. Here in the
United States, a fellow isn't satisfied unless he
can vote half a dozen times at each election.