Nashville union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1868-1875, 1875-03-30
A SOMNAMBULISF PILOT.

AOAALnK 6lCA4MA1Oaa AAEQukM -
Crooked Pass In the Dark-One OF
the Mysteries of Mississippi River
Navigation
Marx Twain in the April Atlantic Monthly.
There used to be an excellent pilot on
the river, a Mr.. Y, who was a somnanbu-
list. 1t was said that, if his mind was
troubled about bad piece Of river. he was
pretty sure to get up and walk in his sleep
and do strange things. he was once fel-
low pilot for trip OF two with George
E, on great New Orleans passenger
packet. Late one night the boat was ap-
preaching Helena, Ark; the water was low,
and the crossing above the town in very
blind and tangled condition. Y. had seen
the crossing since E. had, and, as the
night was particularly drizzly, sullen and
dark, E. was considering whether he
had not better have Y. called to assist in
running the place, when the door opened
and Y. walked in.
"Let me take her, Mr.. E; I've seen
this place since yOu have, and It Is so
crooked that 1 reckon can run It myself,
easier than could tell you how to do it."
alt is kind of you, and l swear am
willing. haven't got another drop Of per-
spiration left in me. / have been spinning
around and around the wheel tike a SPUR
rel. 1t is so dark / can't tell which way
she Is swinging till she is coming around
like whirligig.p
So E took a seat on the bench, pant
ing and breathleSs. x assumed the
wheel without saying anything, steadied
the Waiting steamer with a turn or two,
and then stood at ease, eoaxing her a little
TO this side and then to that, as gently and
as sweetly as if the time had been MONDAY.
When E. observed this marvel Of steer
ing, he wished he had not confessed. He
stared and wondered, and finally said:
"Well, thought knew how 10 steer a
steamboat, but that was another mistake Of
mine.5
y. said nothing, but went serenely on
with his work. He rang for leads; he rang
70 slow down the steam; he worked the
boat carefully and neatly into invisible
marks, then stood at the centre Of the
wheel and peered out blandly into the
blackness, fore and aft, to verify his posi-
ton; as the leads shOaled more and more,
be stopped the engines entirely, and the
dead silence and suspense Of ''drifting" fol-
lowed; when the shOalest water was struck
he cracked on the stream, carried her hand
somely over, and then began to work her
warily into the next system Of shOal marks;
the same patient, heedful use Of leads and
engines followed; the boat slipped through
without touching bottom, and entered upon
the third and last intricacy Of tho crossing;
imperceptibly she moved through the gloom,
crept by inches into her marks, drilled te-
diously till the shOalest water was cried,
and then, under tremendous head Of
steam, went swinging over the reef and
away INTO deep water and safety!
E let his long pent breath pour out
in long, relieving sigh, and said:
"That's the sweetest piece Of plotting
that was ever done on the Mississippi river
l wouldn't have believed it could be done,
if hadn't seen it."
There was no reply, and he added:
''Just hold her five minutes longer, part
ner, and let me run down and get cup Of
coffee"
A minute later E was biting into
pie down in the "texas," and comforting
himself with coffee. Just then the night
Waterman happened in, and was about 10
happen out again, when he noticed E,
and exclaimed:
''Who is al the wheel, sir?"
HX-r
OdAb AOl Liz plAOL-uOuoC 4NlChcL lAa4
lightning"
The next moment both men were flying
up the pilot house companion way three
steps al a jump Nobody there, The
great steamer was whistling down the mid
die of the river at her own sweet will
The Waterman shot out Of the place again:
E. seized the wheel, set an engine back
with power, and held his breath while the
boat reluctantly swung away from a ''tow-
head" which she was about to knock into
The middle Of the Gulf Of Mexico!
by and by the Waterman came back
and said:
"Didn't that lunatic tell you he was
asleep when he first came up here ?"
"NO.r
"Well, he was. l found him walking
along on top Of the ratings, just as UncOn-
cerned as another man would walk pave
nent; and put him 10 bed. Now just this
minute there he was again away astern,
going through that sort Of tight-TOpe devil /
Try the same rs before"
"Well, l think III stay by, next time he
has one Of those fits. But hope he'll have
hem often. You just ought to have seen
him take this boat through Helena cross |
ing. I never saw anything so gaudy be-
fore. And if he can DO such gold-leaf, kid |
glove, diamOnd-breastpin plotting when he
IS sound asleep, what couldn't he do if he !
was dead?"