Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1875-04-08
Clothes counections-Buttous.

Clothes conuections-Buttons.
A swell" diseass-rhe mumps.
punch" calls matrimosy tho "Oen.
mon chord Of two Aats.n
Wasting sweetuess-Putting your arm
about pretty woman.
A crusty bachelors objection 10 ladies
with beautiful teeth is. that mae cut ef
ten Of them would laugh at q funeral.
A pennsylvania man and wife Ii we'd
two weeks on bread and whisky. She
ate the bread and he drank the whisky,
81 dreamed I was spelling at a spell.
ing match and never missed word" Is
what young ladies say now when they 10
cover from the effects Of ether.
Spring brings joy to the heart ofa
Western editor, who sings: "Soon the
dusky squaw will be seen straining MAJ
pie sugar through her winter stocking"
A Boston father is telling everybody
who will listen to him that his little
girl, tive years old, brought bis pen back
to him and said she wanted some juice
put into it."
HERE is little conundrum for stri.
kers: If. as they claim, they cannot
live on the reduced wages offered BY en-.
ployers, how is it that they live without
any wages at all. .. .,
In Dubuque it is the fashion for gen.
tlemen to help ladies across the muddy
streets. In Philadelphia and New York
ladies spare gentlemen that trouble BY
learning to swim during their girlhOod.
After waiting four years, Michigan
lover finally popped the question, and the
girl answered; "0f course I'll have you.
Why, you fool you, we could have been
married three years ago." .. .a.'''a
One Of the sweetest things about young
and budding love is the way in which sAe
will smooth the hair 30 gently of your
brow, and smile tenderly in your face
and show that about four Of her back
teeth are gone. =
Here is simple rule 10 detect ooan-
telfeit ffty-cent notes; On the csun.
terfeit the lock Of hair in the corner Of
Dexter's forehead touches the hair st
each end, whilO in the genuine Il Is =
&c" shaped lack, and touches only q. the
lower end,
When q boy begins to feel shas he has
commenced the problem Of dsstihy--
When his mother makes bim hold Q skein
Of zephyr at the very time he has prom
ised 10 meet Bill Jones in the bay now 70
have game Of "sevsn up."--Titxsvals
Herald. r..,.
La Crosse offers but few inducements
for members Of the Young Mems Chris.
tian Association TO settle there. Since
the LIST of January..thirty-seven naideus
have been hanging aroung on the corner
: looking up fathers for their children.
New London. Conn. has an aristocrstic
pauper. He refused work st $6 pct
week, prefering TO trust TO charity fes
support. He thrives on it, apparently
as he purchased a pair Of pumps TO use ..
T masquerade, and has since purchased
| an $lS Bible. ~, "a
} when can l get chance to put thil
: baby to sleep9'' once asked lady emf.
grant Of Kit Carson, who was conducting
9 the train. ".Vell, man," says Kit, re'
= aectively. 81 don't just exactly know
!. but l should think it would be when "
got to the Rocky mountains"
An old bachelor. up reading tba
!, 1.-TWO lovers will sit upon half the nigh
with only one chair IN the room,' said |
II couldn't be done unless one Of then
Y stands or sits upon the floor. And sue
painful ignorance pretty plaialy indi
Gates that he has never been there.
Is ~ A Bridgeport husband, now tray
n cling, received letter from his wife th
10 other day, in which she called him ''peI
"a feck broot." lie wrote back that II sh
;. didn't improve in her spelling before b
~ :, returned home, he would apply for q di
II vorce and she now attends all the "spell
le ing matches within a radius Of tWent