Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1875-04-15
Anmuruns 9epartment.
BOUNDTO SING.

BOUNDTO SING.
Brother Glover was pretty big man in a
certain old Connecticut village. He would
swear little sometimes, but when he SUBJ
scribed FIVE hundred dollars toward rebuild
ing and re6tting the old church, that special
act of charity covered a multitude of sins.
Brother Glover had big voice. There
was no time tone or tune in it, but he below
ed as he pleased in church singing. When
the new church was finished it had to be ded-
icated, and choir was carefully trained to do
the singing Brother Glover was not one
of the choir, and the intention was to rule
him out of the vocal exercise.
The choir had carefully rehearsed new
dedicatory hymn, and everything was ready
for the interesting ceremonies. The church
was crowded, Brother Glover was in front
pew, as large as life. The new piece was
struck up, and Brother Glovers voice rose
loud above the organ. There was pause.
The organ and choir were mute, land the latter
mad. The minister, looking at fly on the
ceiling, explained that it was new piece
which the choir alone had practiced, and re.
quested the congregation not to join in the
singing
The piece was recommended, and again
Brother Glover's big voice broke it up. The
preacher then fixed his eyes on Brother Glow
er and requested him to keep silent during the
performance of the new piece, which he did
not understand, and Brother Glover, looking
at his beloved pastor with his big round eyes,
replied in loud voice:
"Look-a here. Mr.. Barnhart, paid five
hundred dollars towards repairing this darned
old gospel box and by thunder, I will sing" +"
The preacher gave up, and so did the
choir.
RETRENCHMENT EXTRAORDINARILY
following story is told of pretty well-known
gentleman, formerly connected with the Pitts
burg press This person was in the habit Of
taking =" wee drap" too much at times, and
when in the resultant condition Of exhilara-
ton, he was, as many are, inclined to a lib
erality and extravaganza Of expenditure to
which his sober self was an utter stranger.
While on one of his periodical benders,
the fancy of our hero was struck with the
beauty Of a certain pair of vases of rare
workmanship and exquisite finish. With the
sentiment, darn the expense" on his lips,
he bought these vases, at an immense price,
and bore them home, and triumphantly called
in his wife, to admire them. "Why, John" !"
aidShe the moment she set her eyes on them,
"what induced you to buy such costly orna.
ments as these? We can't afford to spend
money this way. You will ruin US, you know
you will and the poor lady raised her apron
to her eyes and began to cry. The sight was
too much for our printer.
"You are right, Mary" he said, "you are
right, and I am wrong. We can't afford
these vases it was too extravagant in me to
buy them. But don't cry; I'll fix it all
right" So saying he let drive his fist through
the two beautiful vases, and as their frag-
ments ratified about the floor, he turned to
his astonished and disnayed wife and said,
"Now, Mary, we've got rid of those; III 60
and buy coupl of cheap ones my darling"
A TALKING RAzoR.-A city man who has
had one of his country relations "come down"
to spend Christmas with him, was asked for
the loan of his razor by his guest. Wishing
to afford every facility, he put an extra edge
on his best Damascus, and passed it over.
1t came back with the edge turned, and the
user remarked that he couldn't exactly get
that razor used to his baird, fur he didn't know
what it was doin', somehow
The gentleman glanced at the "baird" in
question, and next day handed his visitor
another razor, which had done duty in chiro-
pedal operations; but repenting Of the act
soon after, visited the room of the member
from Cranberry Centre to reclaim it, where he
found him before the glass with the instru-
ment going through the aforesaid "baird," :"
sounding like the grit of teazle or pair of
wool cards, with the hair flying like shower
of iron wire, and now and then patch Of
skin coming with some of the more vigorous
pulls. The words of apology that rose to the
lips of the host were checked by his guest,
who paused in his labor, and, turning from
the glass, observed, "None of yer new-fashion-
ed razors fur me- This is razor that you
know what it's doin' this razor,"-ss he fell
to work again, and sound as of sand paper
scratching glass arose-"this razor talks,
and tells what it's about Com. Bulletin.
THE TABLES TURNED.-Some time since,
on one of the North river boats, a lady, who