davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31
VOL. XIX. NEW SERIES. VOL. xxi.

said Dawson's, and onward thence to ToTla-
hawk, thus making the route cheaper, easier
OF access to all who can get at it and com
passing all the desirable objects so consider
ed by others, and, therefore, comforting the
most good upon the greatest number, and
consequently, am encouraged to hope we
shall However, shall be ready, and hap
py, to afford you still further information
upon the subject, from time to time, as you
may desire it and the postofhce department
be enabled to furnish it 10 me. Very truly
etc, MARX TWAIN,
'''For james W. NJ. s. Sena-
tor
''TkeFe-now, trhat do you think Of
that ?"
well, don't know, sir. It-well, it ap-
pears to me-to be dubious enough"
"Du-leave the house | am a ruined
man Those Humboldt savages never will
forgive me for tangling their brains up with
this inhuman letter. | have lost the respect
of the Methodist church, the board Of alder
men
"Well, | haven't anything to say about
in their cases, but toas too much tor the
Baldwin's Ranch people, general"
Leave the house Leave it for ever
and for ever too ~
regarded that as a sort of covert intima
ton that my services could be dispensed
with, and 50 resigned | never will be a
private secretary to senator again. You
can't please that kind of people. They
don't know ANYTHING. They can't ap-
preciate party's efforts.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31

''You arc drunk or crazy. and ere you
get your nice hot peanuts ~
Bobby Bobby !" she called. crooking
her finger. .f Z. -,.. . :
IN have the police Bobby you if you
don't go away and now. gents. these pea
nuts are Just out of the roaster ~
Then you will 60 back on your wife in
land Of strangers. will YOU ?" she asked
as she approached him.
Never saw you before, you old lunatic,
and these peanuts are the best that Virginia
soil can grow"
Bobby :" she said. as she reached over
and took him by the neck -tie-"Bobby, this
America is no place for you It's awful
unhealthy here, and the climate goes agin
mans telling the truth. Come along
Bo bby -
And she gave him such twist that he
came down on his knees. He bit her hand
to loosen her hold, and she cuffsd him right
and left, saying:
Il never saw a man run down hill as you
have in three weeks Take that, Bobby,
and that and that and now como over to
Canada with mo !"
81 never saw you before-you're drunk
police - he shouted, as he got up.
Never saw me. Bobby don't you know
the woman who lived with you for eighteen
years ?"
And as she proceeded to make his ears
ring be broke away, dashed through the
crowd and cansered away
Now gents, said the woman, turning
to the crowd, help yourselves to peanut and
git out'n my wav, for I'm going to run
him down il it takes week Of s:eddy jog
ging ~
And she cEutered after him.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31

hUEORs or THE FINANCIAL sTRINGENCY-
The Chicago Tribune thus records the col
lapse of q leading hotel in that city The
I pantrv-man did it. whoever NAV say the
contrary. That apparently insignificant
menisl, that little screw in the vast mechau-
ism, whose post is so unimportant a. to be
altogether out of the sight of men, vas in
this instance the immediate cause of the
breaking down of tho entire establishment.
In the inmost recesses OF his hidden lair, the
3, pantry men swore huge oath that unless
certain thiug= came Oh satisfactorily certain
other things should happen. lie was d neF-
eenaTy man, ths supervisor OF tho harder,
and was never satisfied unless his wages were
partly pad within month after they were
due. WHAT could be expected of a per son
with 50 iiscontinted disposition The
Briggs House proprict0rs ought to have
paid him off months ago and given MIN his
discharge papers To keep him at his post
was to harbor spark in powder maya
zine. Yet they ioolishly did it, and yester-
dsy came the explosion.
The precise manner in which the accident
happened Will probably never be known.
Particulars were difficult to obtain. It
may be definitely stated. however. that, up
to the hour of noon, business was progress
ing as usual at the hotel. The aristocratic
clerks in the office was smiling the Custom
airy bland smile over the heads of anxiously-
inquiring guests. Bell-boys were hurrying
10 and iro Porters were industriously
smashing plothoTic trunks Downstairs
the preparations for dinner were being car
ried on with undiminished vigor True,
there existed among the 200 employees a
well defined yearning .ior lucre owed to them
By the proprietors, but they had not reached
stage OF open revolt. 1t was in the midst
OF the culinary operations that the pantry
man stood forth and addressed the assem-
bled scullions, Cooks and walters His
words were brief but emphatic, declaring
that unless the hotel proprietors paid up i'm.
| mediately he should quir work His expires
sions were universally approved, and a del
egation WAS sent 10 the othce with mes
sage To that effect.
The delegration returned with the an
! nouncement that payment had been refused
Then rose up a howl Of indignation and all
hands stopped in their labOrs The meat
burned in the oyen,th pastry was flung in
a crude state upon the foor, and confusion
| reiRned. The reckless pantry-man in the
height of ylrtuous indignation set upon the
| defsnceless crockery, and dashed plates and
platteIs widely around the room, nor paused
until he had demolished several hundred
dollars worth Messrs Rickord 4 Moss,
the proprictors. hearing the melee, rushed
into the kitchen. and yainly endeayored to
stop the work OF destruction. Only With
the aid Of several policemen did they sue
coed. and the unfortunate pantry man Sas
| conveyed, against his wishes. to the police
station. -. Il.f
Meanwhile the ansa-pecting guests had
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31
aaaM10ad DlTn9OM

assembled in the dining room and taken
their accustomed places with the hilarity
bred by sayory authorization. Morrily they
chatted together and firted with the snowy
napkins, while waiting for the incoming OF
the attendants. As the momonts passed
and no walters appeared. the pleasant
smiles which lit up their placid counten--
ances gave away to anxious looks and
scowls and settled gloom. But all in vain.
No harbinger appeared at the enchanted
portals on which their eyes were eagerly
fxed to bring glad tidings to their hungry
so, Finally, when the last hope which
ILL lined their epicurean pathway had van
ish,i into the vague and misty reals of the
great Uneaten, those guests slowly and re-
luctantly folded their napkins, rose from
the tables, and formed mournful cortege.
moving out of the dining-hall, the grave Of
their iond aspirations, into the sordid, tur-
bulent street.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31

1t seemed strange anachronism. That un-
troubled face had looked down on that very
floor upon untold myriads and numberless
generations of devout worshippers who long
centuries ago had moldered back to aborig-
inal dust; now there was the same sublime
countenance surveying in its stiffness a
hearty English dinner party, unperturbed
by the bang of the champagne bottle, the
rattle Of knives and forks, the happy Eng
lish laughter, or the cheers that crowned
the toasts. 1t was fully 8 O'Clock before
the guests took their seats. Behind his
Royal Highness, and to the right hand of
him was strange group-Shivs as q half
male and balffemsle divinity. The one-half
of the figures is that Of man, and the other
| half that of a woman. Further to the right,
and still behind him, SILVA Is seated in his
heaven with his bride Parvati, and groups Of
male and female divinities are showeriDg
down flowers upon them from the heavenly
cloudland To the Princes left hand, and
| yet behind him. was a group again repre-
senting SILVA and Parvati on their bridal
day. with attendants minitsering unto them.
On the wall to the Princes right hand was
group representing ten-headed and ten
tempting to carry off SILVA and his heaven
ly abode, that in his love or covetousness he
might have the SILVA always with himself
On the wall to the Princes left hand was q
representation Of SILVA beheading in bis
wrath, son of Brahma, and having eight
arms, tusks from his month, and adorned
with necklaces or strings of human skulls
The cause of the great gods fury is that one
Of his wives had been sighted, because she
presented herself unlimited at party given
by one Of her relations, On the same wall =,
and still to His Royal Highness's left, was
another representation of SILVA in one of
his most dreadful forms 1t was with these
great solem figures before and around that
the banquet proceeded, while the Governors
band was outside discoursiug, 10 the calm
tropical night, sweet European music
His Royal Highness proposed Her Majesty s
health and the old gods might have been
startled with the cheers Not less ought
they to have been aroused by the echoing
shouts which rang out again and sgain when
the health Of His Royal Higsness" him
self was proposed. The caves were then
lighted up with red and green fires which
threw the gigantic sculptures into a weird,
unnatural glare. When the banquet was
ended and the guests had issued from the
now heated cave into the cool evening air,
a brilliant surprise had been reserved for
them. The mountain was Illuminated.
Bonfres blazed on its summit and OIL every
shoulder Of the hill lime lights darted their
searching radiance around and far over the
sea. while every bush and tree was brilliant
with lamps Red, blue and white lishts
lit up the whole mountain slope. into some
thing approaching the brightness of day.
Then. from the summit Of the mountain was
heard the whiz and rush of the rocket. the
signal for the pyrotechnic display, and the
fireworks began.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31

81 HcRAEEo ALGER- JR.
tr.Ar Anselmo Gods grace may lie VIZ
Committed enc SAD day deadly sin
- h.ch being done be drew back. self sbsoirsd.
From the rebuking presence OF the Lord,
AMI kneeliny down. tesought with bitter cry,
since life was worthless grown, that be ght die
AlI night be kuelt. and when the morning broke.
IL patience still he waits deaths fatal stroke
when all at Ouce q cry Of sharp distress
Aroused AnselDo from his TTetehednsss
and lcokin. from the convent window high.
De saw wounded traveller gasping lie
Jus, underneath, who, bruised and stricken sore,
had ,rawied ior AID unto the convent door.
The frlsr's heart With deep compassion stirred,
When Tie poor wreteh's Eroans for help were hear
With gentle hand, and touched with love divine,
de bsthed his wounds, and poured In oil and wine
win tender foresight carei ioI ali bis nssjs,
tiessed ministry o. noble deeds
in such devotion passed seven days At lsnzsa
The poor wayiarec gained his Wonted strength
with grateful thanks he left the convent walls
And once again On death Anselno calls.
When. l0l his cell was flled with sudden %.
And % the wall be saw angel write,
An angel in whose likeness ne could trace,
More noble grown tie travellers form and is,s y,
Courage, Ansslm0, though thy sin be great
God grants thee lie that thou mays plate
Ihy guilty stains shall be washed white again,
By noble service done thy fellow-men,
II soul draws nearest unto GOO above
Who u his brother ministers IN love"
Meekly Auselm0 rose an 1, after prayer,
dis soul was lighted VI Us past despair
heucsforth he strove, oheying Gods high Silii
his hesven-apponted mission 70 fulfill.
AL1 many a soul oppressed With pam ana s1isfl
CSs1 C tie frlar soiace snd relief
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31
=" Sent BY the Lord"
nokr1;f Er.~ Dr,--

Saturday morning sandy-haired young
man, six feet three inches high, and looking
almost like walking shadow, called at the
central station, and after solemnly blowing
his nose he remarked:
. This is an awful wicked tawn."
Well, there are some wicked people
here, replied the captain.
g Vice and malice walk hand IN hand up
and down every street and avenue" con-
tinued the stranger as he doubled up and
sat down
Well, I'm sorry" replied the captain.
" wish every body would be good enough
to melt away and dissolve in blaze Of
glory"
- But the wicked shall be rebuked, )" said
the stranger, as he put his foot down, land
the minions ot satan shall be put to flight. :"
. want ticket to that entertainment
when it comes off," smiled the captain.
- have walked far TO meet Satan and
conquer him, = said the stranger. - Point
me out the wickedsst and vilest quarter OF
the city and there will make my stand and
do battle"
g You'd better husk your own corn and
let wickedness alone, replied the captain.
What brought YOU here, and where are
you going?"
Ny friend the Lord sent me here to bat
tie against wickedneSs, and Ill fight till
die | want to 90 right out and find the
stTongbolds of Satan and deal them sturdy
blows until they cry for quarter and victory
is mine :"
The man did not seem quite right in his
mind, and the captain warned him to pur-
sue his journey or to attend to his own busi-
ness. After borrowing chew of tobacco
the stranger left the station and soon made
his appearance at saloon on Beaudien
street.
- Here doth Satan reign" he -aid to the
bullet-headed man behind the bar.
s. No whiskcy without the cash, replied
tie bartender.
e Whi-key whiskey, you degraded
ninion Of SaIan ~ exclaimed the tall man.
- Know ye that have come here to canter
Satan out of this place and let in the lights
Of knowledge and goodness ~
" Slide - growled the bartender, point
ing to the door.
= Thrice-dyed in wickedness, pledge me
that you will at once turn from the evil Of
your ways shouted the tall man a. he
danced around.
" Here you 90, answered the bar tender,
making a rush for him.
But be didn't go. He knocked the man
Of drinks into corner and kicked him after
he was down. and when crowd gathered
ne stood on the steps and said
- Ye wicked and malicious, have come
among you to knock Satan off his feet, and
I'll purify this town or perish in the at
tempt"
TIE police took him to the station and on
Monday morning he will be Judged accord
ing to the deeds done in the body.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31
The Peanut Man.
BY GRACE GREENWOOD.

From the Detroit Free Press.
Ha had his little cart on street corner
yesterday morning, and as he blew the frost
out of his fingers nc cried :
peanuts Peanuts right from the oven 81
tie was standing thus when stoutly-
built woman, with her hands encased in red
mittens, and her bonnet poised in jauaty
style. came around the corner. saw him
and with sharp hoop i''she rushed for-
ward aud threw her arms around him.
Robbers Pickpoekets - be yelled. try
lng to break away.
oh. Robert i i soa It : Sou 81 -ts
Where arc ths police ," Le'.houted
1T is ne Robert-it is your wife :" she
replied
Mot 10y a jagfui, cid woman Nov
you just 20 way from here -
Robert Piper, don't try to play thai
game any further " she warned II have
tracked you from Canada. and now you are
going back with me and support Your fami-
lY and behave Yourself
II don know YOU he replied. seemil 2
greatly aStonished. .iri si
Don't lie TO this crowd. Robert We're
MT We married eighteen years AGO. and
haven't you i've children, and didn't you
cut sticks three weeks ago ana lease us to
starye ?"
"Gentlemen, may be hanQ II | ever sa
ihst woman before. and 'erc's your fre.h
roasted peanuts ~ .l-.
Come here, darling ~ she said backing
cut Of the crowd little.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31

You needn't be trying to comfort mel tell you my
dolly is dead
There's no use in saying she isn't with crack like
that in her head,
It's just like you said IT wouldn't hurt nu-t to have
my tooth out, that day,
And then when the man most pulled my lead OI,
you hadn't WORD to say.
And guess you must think I'm baby when you
saw you can mend II with glue
As II didn't know better than that Why, ju..
suppose IL was you
You might make her ioot all mended-bat what do
Why, CLUES FOR chairs ami tables and toys, and the
backs Of books!
Ny dolly my own tile dau-hter' OF, Tut rs the
awfulest crack
1t Just MAKES me sick to think Of the sound when
her poor mead went whack
Against that horrible brass thing that holds UP :Ae
little shelf
Now, Nursey, what makes oa remind me- know
that did il ny self
think you must be crazy-ycau get Ter another
head
What good would forty heads do her: tell y,u
And to think hsdn't quite a1lshSd her elegant
new spring hat
And took sweet ribbon OF hers last ulght to tic
on that horrid cat
When my mamma gave me the r.bbon-i vas piay-
iby out in the yard
She said TO me, most expressly, Here's ribb5n
And went and put it on Tabby, aud niltegaris
me do IL;
But said to myself. oh, never mini, I doa't be-
lieve she knew it"
But know that she knows il now, AMI lcst 10
Heve. do,
That her poor little heart was broken. AMI 50 Gsc
head broke too.
Oh. my baby my little baby wish ny aesd had
been hit'
For I've hit it aud over. ard it hasnt cracked
Bit
But since the darling IS dead, she'll wsni 10 5e
buried Of course
We will take my little wagon. Nurse, and shall
be the horse,
And I'll walk behind and cry; and we'll put Ler II
this, you see
This dear little box-snd we'll bgry her ,heu under
the msple-tree.
And papa will make NE a tombstone, ike sAe ore
he made Tor my bind;
And he'll put what tell him OF It-yes, every
single word
shall say "Here lies Inde.srie beautiful coli
who Is dead;
She died Of broken hesIt, and dreadful rack Ia
her head" ST NtcAo'1s.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31
An Enthusiastic Tax Collector,

Some time ago the authorities in our
county appointed Mr.. Slingsby assessor and
tax collector. The principal Characteristic
OF Mr.. Shngsby is enthusiasm. lie has an
idea that whenever man gets anything
new it ought TO be taxed, and be is always
on hand TO perform the service. 1 had
about 10 feet added to one OF my chiIneys,
last spring, and when 1t was done Slingsby
called anu assessed II under the head OF
- improved real estate, at $50. and col
lected Two per cent. on it. A few days later
while | was standing by the fence, Singsby
came up and said
- Beautiful dog you have there
=" Yes, it l. setter.
- Indeed A setter. hey The tax on
settlers is two dollars. I'll collect it now,
while have it on my mind"
| settled the obligation, and the next day
Slingsby came around again. He opened
the conversation with the remark
- By the way. when did you pat that
weathercock on your stable?'
- Yesterday"
Then be put down on his memorandum
book" four dollars on weathercock
- What do you mean by four dollars tax
On weathercocK9 never heard Of such b
thing
Didn't, hey? Why she comes in under
the head vi scientific apparatus She's
put up there to tell which way the wind
blows, ain't { she? Well. that's scientific in
telligence, and the apparatus Is liable to
tax"
Mr. Slngs5y. that is the mcst absurd
thing ever heard Of. You might just as
well talk of taxing Butterwick's twins"
- Butter-you don't mean to say But
terwick has twins? Why, certainly they re
taxable They come in under the head of
'poll-iax.' Three dollars apiece I'll 20
right down there Glad you mentioned
it, Then paid him and he lett With
Butterwick' ) twins on his InemoranduG IN
book.
A day CT TWO afterward Mr. SlilAsby
called to see me and said
- I've got . case that bothers Iue You
know Hough. the tobaeconlst vel, he :
Just bought new wooden Indian 80 stand
IN front OF ms store. Now | have strong
feeling that ought to tax that figure, but
don't know where to place it. Would it
come in as statuary p Somehow that
don t seem exactly the thing. | was going
to assess it under the head Of idols but
the blamed idists who got up this law aiu :
got a word 10 reference to idols Think ut
that, will you? Why, we might have pa
gsnism raging all over this country, aLd
we eouldu't get cent out Of them. Id d
put that Indian under the head oil craven
images, only they amt mentioned either.
| s'pose | could tax the bundle OF wooden
cigars in his fist as Tobacco but that
leaves out the rest of the figure and he
not liable to poll tax because he can't even
vote. Now how would it strike you II
levied ON him as an immigrant lie was
made sonewheres else than here. and he's
come here from there, consequently he's an
immigrant. That's my view. WDat do YOU
think of it ?''
advised him to try it upon that plan,
and the next morning Mr.. Slingsby and
Mr.. Hough had fight on the pavement IN
front of the Indian because Mr.. Slingsby
tried to seize the immigrant for unpaid taxes
Slingsby was sent to Jail for larceny, and
the business of collecting taxes Is tempora-
rily suspended Adefer.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31

yesterday that dashing widow, one of his
customers, had just married again. go,
the faithlessness of women :" cried the dis
tracted merchant, - here for seventeen
months I've been squeezing her hand when
gave her the change, and letting her have
overweight for credit below cost, when |
could have sold the same articles to cash
customers, and offending people by waiting
on her first, and now she's gone and got
married :" And, with heart-rending sigh,
the unhappy man gave little girl sixteen
ounces of sugar for pound, and took a
ragged quarter for it, fl st forgetting to give
her any change, and then giving her four 81
bills, two 50-cent shinplasters, and nickel
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31
A Qu.ker,s Christma.-E.s
BIT FANNIE n. ROBINSON.

BY FANNIE n. ROBINSON.
How slov and so., m. s,ov d-.., .,l,.
Unon tba vina- ossa,,sd -siIs
AZ IN some v-.cior. sorI 80,
Uorn tha ons 80, 49, t.,
hince in its y,,cs s,,ch horn,sI.,
sbonld vr.n sach re- ,s,nI
TiIl III thinos whi,a - S,. " ..s rsS'
FYcent tbe sh,snws Ear,h . Ion,
Tbs t.nder s-.v r. ras..1 ~ nus. snlo"
A OusIer-sett'gs ,ns ee. sni'e'
AM a. ,his ,roon.hs,.a '-p,.ti
,Inlv i;,,I- I;eh,.T, H'en II sHaue
Inc nv hs.-, s,j1i -
t-,.l -. A-NSN Has SANPts
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-12-31
The Church spidsr

Two spiders, 50 the story goes,
Upon living bent,
Entered the meeting house one day,
And hopeiully were heard to say
Here We VIII have at least fair play,
With nothing 70 prevent"
Each chose his place and vent ~ work
The light webs grew apacei
One on the altar spun his thread
But shortly came the sexton dread,
and swept him of, and 50 hslfdea
He sought another place.
IN try the pulpit next, said he,
There surely Is prize
The desk appears so neat and clean,
I'm sure no spider there has been
Besides, how often have l seen
The pastor brushing dies.
de tried the pulpit. but alas
His hopes proved visionary
With dpstinE brush the sexton came
And SPOILED Dis geomstrie game.
nor gave him time or space TO claim
The right Of sanctuary.
At length, half starved and weak and lean
He sought his former mel ghbor,
who now bad grown 50 sleek and roua1,
He weighed fraction Of pound,
and looked as II the art he'd found
OF living without labor.
How Is 1t, friend, he asked, 'tnAtI
Endure such thumps and knocks,
bile you have grown % very gross ~
' TisplAin,n p he ansv erec-'-not loss
I've net, since frst Ispun a:ross
TIE contribution box"