Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-08-26
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
PLENTY of chestnuts in New YORK this

brought suit for breach OF promise. The
Young man, however, says she makes an
entire Miss Tate-ment of the case.
WHEN Canada girl loves she loves like
hand-engine going to fire. In breach
of promise suitthe other day it was shown
that young lady wrote to her lover eight
times per day.
TRUE heroes still live. The lover who
plunged into the surging flood at Niagara,
the other day, i'll a vain attempt to rescue
his betrothed did a noble deed-nobler
than most that are found in song and
story
IT is one of those strange but true things
which are sometimes met with that,
while it rains very easy nowadays, yet it
also rains exceeding hard; and that,
though the water falls easy and hard, it
still comes down soft.
AT funeral of woman in Slawson,
the other day, neighbor in attendance,
feeling it necessary to say something SYM
pathetic to the afflicted husband, kindly
observed: you've got a splendid day
A TEXAS newspaper contains the fol
lowing: con account Of an accident our
eleven-year-old devil is the only typo in
the office this week. Except little over
two columns he has set up the entire paper
in four days. Several articles appear just
as they came from the stick"
THE Catskill Mountain House has been
visited by distinguished party of En-
glish noblemen. They remained three
days, during which time they filled all the
vacant rooms with the his they discarded
in conversation, ana " don't you knowed"
the head waiter into brain fever.
THE young trout that Seth Green and
his piscatorial agents have been "plant-
ingo in some of the rivers and creeks are
voraciously and unceremoniously "gob
bled up" by the hungry bass, pickerel,
sunfish, etc Trout, like human innocents,
can live and thrive only where there are
no greedy devourers of their kind.
IT is seldom easy to sect the hidden bene-
faction in that which is an apparent affiic-
ton. A boy who was cOnfounding" the
mosquito was told by his pastor that
doubtless the insects are made with
good end in view," when the young scamp
replied: q can't see it whether it is in
view or not At any rate | don't like the
end / feel"
Two AND A HALF MILLION of dollars
have been collected by Nine MacMahon
for the relief of the sufferers by the late
foundations in France, and that's the kind
of wife to have in the family. With
such a helpmeet fellow when hard up
would have only to go out and get mum
dated and then await developments.-St.
Louis Republican.
THEY have mellow soil in Pennsylvania.
One morning, recently, while d Berwick
farmer was driving his horse across
field the earth suddenly caved in under
the animals hoofs without any warning.
The farmer made every effort to save his
horse, but before he could do anything it
had sunk ten feet into the ground, where
it soon SmOthCred.
JIM, can you tell me where I'll find
L
g yesterday, of gentleman who is
rious for always being found else
where than in his sanctum. No, have
you looked for him?'' Yes, looked all
over town" Have you looked in his
officer by Jove!' said the gentleman,
a new light breaking over his counte-
nance, g never thought of that. "-Ndpa
(Cal) Register.
IT may be doubted whether Sartoris is
passionately fond of babies. The other
morning while he was standing on the
piazza in the midst Of group of his boon
companions Nellie came Waiting out
with the national grandchild in her 2rms,
and, planting it playfully upon his shout
der. exclaimed ooh, amt it darling,
Algy?" Well" returned Algy with the
mortified air of a man who had been taken
advantage Of WELL its mother isl
Brooklyn Argus.
A REMARKABLE dandy has just died in
San Francisco His name was A. j. Ste
venson Although very old, he used dyes
and cosmetics so deity that he looked to
be only middle-aged. He was wealthy
and bachelor, and his aim in life seemed
to be to wear the best clothes that could be
bought Many years ago he was impli-
Gated in the abduction of young woman,
was tried on criminal charge, but 1t was
supposed that liberal expenditure OF
money ayerted conviction. And now
he has done his last dying, has this dan
die
ABosToN publishing house finding the
new rates CT third-class postage too ex-
orbitant, prepared the following postal
card, which they mailed to some of their
subscribers: "I he ridiculous Postal law,
by which we ar compelled to pay treble
postage on all magazines sent to subscrlb-
ers in what is known as Burt's Synd1-
cate compels u to establish postal serv-
ice ourselves. Your magazine will be LETT
by the 10th of the month at, where
please call for it hereafter" Finding that
the cards were not delivered they learned
at the Postoffice that they were withheld
because " the firm were using the mail to
scandalize the department"