The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-01-28
SMITHS REHEARSAL.

OAlllu IlC W DO Oh al tAos, oAN CsCA SAAAt
you could wish for in the man whom
you made your friend.
| For instance, he was goOd-loOking, bu
not SO good-looking that you felt jealou!
of him when you introduced him to the
ladies of your acquaintance. He was
tall and strong enough to take your par
where physical force was necessary. HI
was we'll enough off not to want to Dor
row money Of you and to lend it wher
you wanted to borrow yourself. And tt
crown all, he had a temper Of the mos1
suave description imaginable. If he
played whist with you and won he pock
eted the money; if, on the contrary, you
won, it did not make the slightest differ
ence to Smith-you pocketed the money
that was all. To use the language of the
by-gone professors of "the noble art Of
elf-defense," Smith was man who al
ways came up smiling, and for him life
seemed to have no care.
1t is said to be long lane that has nc
turning; and Smith found that there was
turning in his at last, and the turning
led him into quagmire of misery-intc
Slough of Despond. I must tell you
by the way, that Smith, in spite of his
good looks, was bit of cynic. He
sneered at women and looked upon them
IS an inferior order of beings-only
suited to make into shirt-makers, the
setters-on of buttons and washers of gar
ments. 1t was very Objectionable for q
man to have such points; but then we
are none of us born perfect.
"How a man-in his right senses
mind" said Smith to me one day in con
fidence-" can go, with his eyes wide
open and say to woman: Here. my
dear, let me be your slave for life, find
ing you in housc-room and dresses gets
over me. And the matter doesn't STOP
there, for no one could possibly supply
woman with all that she wished for
Then look at her children and the conse
quent expenses there. Even if mar
could treat it in this light, namely, thai
his income would double on marriage
and 90 on doubling with every chile
born unto him, it would be q great un
dertaking; but as matters are, oh, my
dear boy, it's atrocious! I'll never marry
Just look at Jennings"
"Not here" said, 4" to look at"
"No, dear boy" he said suavely; "bu
look at his position, mentally-twelvt
children, twins three times, which makes
sextet. Fancy-being a man with
sextet! It's horrible! Try another o.
these cigars, old fellow. wouldn't bt
Jennings for all the world"
"Nice little wife, though" | said.
"Yes, she really is," said Smith, g,
most amiable little woman. How vel
come she always makes you when you go
Jennings is very proud Of her."
$50 he ought to be-" ] said. Mrs. J
is model little woman; loves her hus
band dearly and always has sweet
candid smile for his old friends. Seer
her sister!''
Eyes" said Smith, "Tve seen her
But, after all, it's sad position for |
man to be in-tied up to woman. How
he must look with envy at his bachelo
acquaintance! All, woman, woman!-
as Milton said, whose mortal tast
brought death into the world, and all ou
wOe.'"
"Gently," said; If you must inflic
quotations on your friends, do it correct
ly."
"That's quite correct, l assure you,
said Smith.
"Quite incorrect" said.
"Is it really, thought" he answered
opening his pleasant gray eyes yer.
wide. "Well, do you know, now,
thought that was quite right!"
"By the way" ! said, the Jenningse
give party next week. Are you goings
"Dear boy, no." said Smith; the
asked me-"
"And you declined!"
"Well, no, haven't declined yet. Tv
only ha6 the letter week. But ] mea
to-"
"Don't decline, then; but 60"
"Why, my dear fellow, they'll have a
the children out, and cake, and oranges
and blindman's buff. It will be reg.
lar rough and tumble affair. Perhaps as
you to hold the twins"
"But you like old Jennings!" said.
"Dear old boy, isn't he!' said Smitl
earnestly.
"Well, he will feel sighted if you stc
away"
"Think he will!"
"Sure to-"
"Then I'll Co." said Smith. But
shall be q regular wet blanket on th
party"
The night of the Jennings party cam
snd, having weakness for children,
meant to go early; but, being . medic'
man, was called away, and did notreac
the Jennings place till halfpast ten.
/ There was . regular shrek in the diI
ine-room, mingled with roars Of laughte
the knocking together Of chairs. and cri'
Of " Take carer as Invested myself |
top-coat and hat; and when ! edged
through the door it was TO see Smith,
full evening costume, with two stud
gone out Of his shirt front, his white I
rnder one ear, the said shirt front rel
lular rag, hishair IA tepslsd, shlg WI