The Arizona sentinel., 1875-01-16

A Mother. in-law in the house
is wellspring of jawy.
Before taking liberties with a
strange dog, observe his tail and
wait for the wag on.
A Minnesota man makes the
winter seem short by giving his
note, payable in the Spring.
Cruel gossip says that Susan B.
Anthony has an eye on the
hrachelOr Governor of New York.
An armIess Milwaukee woman
boxes her husbands ca" with her
feet. She wears box-toed boots,
of course.
a darkey says: "All men are
made of clay, and like meer-
schaum pipes, are more valuable
when highly cOlored."
An Eastern paper intimates
that Treasurer Spinner acquired
his habit Of profanity while learn
ing to read his own writing.
A Liverpool woman, 10 relieve
her husband, who was charged
with cutting off the end of her
nose, SwOre that she bit it off her.
self.
The MiIlerites of Ottawa had
theirEascension clothes ready for
their flight last Friday, but some
how or other the thing didn't
come off.
Well give $11 for the sight of
the boy ten years old who can get
ont of bed in the morning and
find his hat and shoes without
half an hours hunt.
A father at Dubuque makes,
his children address him as fol-
lows, for instance :-"MOSt re-
spected and revered father, I'll
take another later"
A boy having been told "that a
reptile was an animal that creeps,"
on being asked to name one on
examination day, promptly and |
triumphantly replied ga baby"
=Says a Western editor: "Yester-
day was windy, and it was splen-
did time to settle the question as
toswhether monogram carriers are
worn. But it was just our luck
to be laid up with the rheumatism.
The n. o. Republican says
When bankers daughter of San
Francisco marries, the fond pa
rents rent a wholesale and retail
jewelers. store, buy the stock, and
exhibit the whole establishment
as presents.
Grace Greenwood doesn't believe
in liquor as beverage, but she
says there is something pleasant
in drinking just enough wine to
make one feel at peace with all
the world.
An old lady, on hearing that a
young friend had lost his place on
account of misdemeanor, ex-
claimed, "Miss Demeanor Lost
his place on accnunt of Miss De-
meanor! Well, well, I'm afraid
it's too true that there's aIlus
woman at the bottom of a mans
difficulties"
A Chicago alderman tried for
three hours to think of George
washingtOn's last name and
couldn't do it. He said he knew
it was George, and that the mas
had something to do with tn
Mexican war, but he couldn't r.
further,
Helen M. Cook writes tn
"kisses on her brow are the ric
est diadem that woman's so
aspires to-" And yet a fello
who kisses a young lady on Id
brow while her rosy lips are ma
ing motions like a patent clotf
is not the man for the
position.
There are about 300,OOO dogs in
Kansas of which $4,000 are really
Useful as hunting or watch dogs, :
md 272,000 worse than useless
except for hash or sausage). This
S a steady burden, and worse
han the grasshOpper plague. :.
a Western paper tells us that P
"a female book agent at La Crosse X
Knocked lawyer down with "
20 Bible, and then knocked his a
eeth out with So hymn book" A
Arm that woman with an Ordina- T
v library of costly religious books,
nd she will whip her weight
n wild -cats.-LOmSiCiye Courier T,
IOu1n0L
A teacher. questioning little 20
oys about the graduation in the
Gale of being, asked, "What :.
ONES next to man?" where-up0n lis
little shaver, who was evidently etVV
mortinO Undpr q SnoSp of nrax,i VII