The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-01-01
Odds and Ends.

| DOG music-barky-roles
The origin of Easter eggs-A hen!
OYSTERS are having r'd time of it.
A CoNFEcr1oNER advertiser f'paroxis-
NAL kisses
The fourth of MANA quartee
master.
BORED, yet happy-A girl with her
first pair of earrings.
WHEN Noah made the ark. fast with a
ceble tow, there was tied in the affairs
| of men taken at the flood.
WHEN man nearly breaks his neck
trying to get out of the way of a Light
ming bug" supposing it to he the head
light of locomotive, it is time for him
to sign the pledge. -
A COUPLE of fellows who were pretty
thoroughly soaked with bad whiskey.
got into the gutter, After .houndering
for some time, one of them said: 'tLet's
get to another house this hotel leaks.
TIE Arab chiefs of Algeria who cher
ish quite rabid devotion to Louis Ma
poleon's memory, have subscribed 20O,
0O8 francs for jeweled decoration to
be placed over his tomb.
The Sherman House, Chicago, recog-
nizing the necessity for retrenchment
these close times, has made material
reduction in it's rates. But there has
been no reduction in It's merits as q first
class hotel.-Com. 4ss~
AS two members of the dafkey confer
ence were passing down Pennsylvania
avenue in Washington recently, when
one trod on the indigestible portion of
gear, and as his number elevens went
| up the rest of his being was correspond
ingly lowered. ssKi-yah, Brudder Jones,
JIG you fallen from grace?' chuckled his
I companion. tNot prezacly, deacon;
Use gettin' on de ragged edge of dis
pear"
Mrs. JULIA A. PERKINS, of Cincinna-
tt, the child murderess and wou1d-be
suicide, has been SO far restored to rea-
son that she has brought suit against
her husband for alimony. 1t seems
that upon his compulsory retirement
from the firm with which he was con-
nected he received as his share of the
business about $21 ZOO, which Mrs Per-
kins alleges he is about to- spend on
his mistress, and naturally enough, she
desires small share of the money her
self.
THERE is curious case in Detroit. A
colored man having lately been married
for second time, no funeral having in
tervened since his first, is accused of
bigamy. His defence is that the first
wife, so3called, was white woman. that
it was illegal for negro to marry q
white when he dideso, and therefore
that he has now at last only secured his
first legal partner. The judge has laid
the case over for meditation.
THE Paris Figaro relates the tragic
history of a magpie. It was great
favorite of the butcher who owned it;
but boy who had received notice."
| and who was to leave in short time,
taught the bird to say, e It's cows
meat. These provoking words it an
nounced whenever the butcher showed
to his customers his prettiest cuts, and
the juvenile Iago thus compelled that
butcher"t to murder his favorite.
LAIRD, the builder of the Alabama
and other pirate crafts of ardozen years
| ago, gets this appreciative notice in the
London Figaro: "On Thursday last died
/ Mr.. Laird, the Member of Birkenhead.
| The public life of Mr.. Laird was with
out reproach; in private life he built
and dispatched the Alabama His
memory will be long kept green in the
budget, and he has an enduring monu-
ment in the taxation of his country
| men.
A FAIR and buxom widowin Portland.
who had buried three husbands, recent
~ went with gentleman, who paid her
marked attention In the days of his
adolescence, to inspect the graves of her
dear departed. After contemplating
them some minutes in mournful silence,
| she murmured SO her companion, 'sAh,
| Joe, you might have been in that row,
/ If you only had had a little more cour
age"
/ M. HENRI ROBERT claims to be the
original inventor of curious clock,
which consists of transparent glass
dial suspended by two cords from points
/ in it's border. 1t has the two usual
| hands. but these are apparently free
either be moved and then let go it re-
turns to its former position after a few
oscillations. The hands are moved by
mechanism within them, by means of
which their centre of gravity is continu-
ally displaced.
/ TIE subscriptions to the memorial
statue of the late William IL. Seward,
which is to be placed In the Central
Park, have nearly been paid. The
Committee on Funds, which consists OF
George J. Forrest, William d. Apple
ton, and Lawrence Il. Jerome, have re-
ceived about $4,000, which has been
Il deposited with the Farmers Loan and
Trust Company. Mr.. Randoiph hog-
ers. the sculptor. who has the order for
the statue. is making very satisfactory
PROGRESS on it at Rome, and it is ex-
pecfed that it will be completed before
another year has passed. The statue
will he made of bronzes, sixteen and
half feet high, and is to be delivered
and mt 11p in the Centrrl Park for $685.
90.