The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1875-08-13
About Zee Cream.

He slipped into ali ice-creain saloon very
softly, aud when the girl asked him wIlai
he wanted he replied
| .sCarn beef fried potatoes pickles. and
mince pie.;'
''This Is not restaurant, this is an icc-
cream parlor, y she said.
Then why did you ask me what want
ed for? why ditln't you bring on your Ice
She went after it, and as she returned he
continued: ~
] You see my dear girl. you must infer
You must reason. It isn't likely that I
wonid co,ne i!tto an ice-cream parlor to bny
a agrindstone, is it? You didn't think came
| IN here to ask if you had any baied hay.
did you az -
She looked at him in great surprise, and
lie went ON:
''lfi owned hardware store and Won
came ID, 1 would Infer that you came for
] something i'm my lie. wouldn't step ont
| and ask YOU if you wanted to buy Il mule,
would I?''
| She went away highly indignant. An
| old lady was tlevouringa a dish of ice-crcam
at the next table, and the stranger, after
watching ner for II moment called ont:
My dear woman, have you found any
hairs or btn tons in your dish ?''
Mercy no" she exclaimetl.a as she wheel
ed around and dropped her spoon.
well I'm glad of it!'' lie exclaimed
1T YOU find any just let me know
She looked at him for half n mfa,,te.
picked up the spoon. laid it down again,
and then left the room. She must lave
SAID something 10 the proprietor, for he
came running in and exciaimcd:
s'Did yon tell that woman that there were
mars anu buttons in my ice-cream?"
mo. sjr.''
s.You didn't ?''
NO. sir, did not; merely requested
her. in case she found any such Ingredients,
to inform Ine!,'
Let, 1<I.c
MY dear SIR said the stranger. srni,-
ing softly. did you expect me TO ask the
woman If she had found crowbar or n
siedge- e-hammer in her cream? Is It pos
sihle. sir. for such articles to be hidden
away in such small (l>hes
Inc proprietor Went away. growing, and
rs the stranger quietly supped away ut his
cream TWO yoltg ladies' came IN, sat down
near him, and ordered some cream and cakes.
lie waited until they had eaten little, and
ihen he remarked BEG pardon, ladies.
put DO yon observe anything peculiar in the
They tasted, smacked their lips, and were
not certain.
Docs it taste to you as if plug of ftobac-
co had f.l;en into the freezer9'' he asked.
:. All kalr.' they exclaimed. dropping
their spoons and trying to spit out what
proprietor rushed in.
see here what in blazcs arc ron talking
about - he demanded. ..What do Won
mean by plug tobacco in the freezer -
My kind friend. I asked the ladies IL
this cream tasted of plug tobacco. Iton't
taste anysuch taste, and don't believe you
used n bit of tosacco frr-it.'s~ ----
well. yon don't want to talk that way
around herei'' continued tEe proprietor.
MY ice-eram is pnre, and the man who
says 1t isn't tells bold liei''
He went away again. and a woman with
a long neck and sad face sat down and
said to the girl that she would take small
dish of lemon ice.
1t was brought. and she had taken two
mouthfulis when the stranger inquired:
t.Exc,ise me, madam, hut do you know
how this cream was nade-iIave you any
idea that they grated turnip aud chalk
with the cream ?''
She didn't reply. She slowly rose mp,
wheeled around. and made for the door
The stranger followed after, and by great
good luck his coat tail cleared the door an
instant too soon to be sfruek by five pound
box of figs, hurled with great force by the
indignant proprietor. As he reached the
curb>tone he halted. looked at the door of
the parlor, and soliloquized II
.sIlere are times when people should |
infer, and times wien they shouldn't.
suppose if / had asked that woman If she |
thought they liaSFietf up a saw-nlill in the |
cream she'd have felt a circular saw going |
down her throat