Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1875-01-31
COUNT DE NOSES.
Late Philosopher 60 his Ex-MRiesIy
Homas, VenIiIates himself on
She Situation.
Fellow. Bandits and Insane ASYLUM Seekers:

Fellow-Bsndits and Insane Asylum Seekers:
We have examined the site, drank
with the prOprietors, mixed with the people,
and we are satisfied that this is the place. We
have met the Protective Union, and are safe
IA Faytn' the asylums OiFOS.
Momus, having sbdicated, now runs a
duchy with titles Duke. Big and Little Ca
Slno and Count de Cards. Oh! had we served
our cityon contract with half the zeal we did
our king, we could afford to take sixty-1ve
for our Memphis skies without murmur.
The year 1874 has passed, and with II the Chel-
sea fire brigade.
boon, Health, has hovered DER us, like
our city's increasing Indebtedness,
and our police and fremen impatientIy
await the promised hour and the
next election. The Happy Hollow war is
over-the midnight raidihaS ceased, and the
voice Of the MCarty is heard no more. But
peace, gentle peace, and OURO, suTnamed the
magnificent, now reigns supreme. While
our cotton crop has signally failed, our jail
delivery has sbeea most prolific; and these
great financial problems-if gold is ll2, what
are greenbacks to those who have none? and
which bank shall receive the city's funds?
still remain unsOlved. Meanwhile, ye legal
tender, frm as our unrelenting bar-keeper,
taking note OF its early return to specie, is
already giving hdrd-to get hold OF.
REFORMS have not lRnguished, but attacked
our public schools; the doors being locked
they tried TO Pickett-of, and intend cleaning
out the city's Augean stables by disposing of
the Mare, with the view of going into the
commission business.
While our police board is palatable enough,
their lodgings for the poor is an ancomfort-
able and blanketless affair. 1t being winter,
we RECORD it.
Cigar-box instructions have ruled the hour;
the senatorial contest is over, and we believe
a party by the name of johnson now wears
the bonnet.
Andy, being a tailor, measured the legisla-
ture, cat out his opponents, elevated his goose,
produced a dt which seams to SUit the people
and will Sft JCe!l for the next six years to come.
Some think him booked on the wrong side Of
the Ledger but the eXultant chaingang pro-
al joy, have gone forth TO swell the crowd of
bummers and to Siceep the country in the
next campaign.
To the noble yanquished, we say there is
still Blessing and a seat at Jefferson street
senate. The coming congressional March
fourth, sounds very much like a Republican
retreat. And The great American Cygar Hold
er having been smoked two terms and well
colored, having proved mere sham, will be
laid on the shelf for the third term to cool.
A rumor hiss reached us that there has been
some scandal in Brooklyn-buJ people will
talk.
And it having pleased his august majesty
to hold high carnival here among his White
Leaguers February 9Th, the gorgeous Mem
phi, with their hosts, and the magnificent
Ulks viii lvie with each other in the splendors
of their offerings, and have prepared pageantS
worthy of mis- glory and their fame. And in
view of our eItinguiSfled services it has pleased
his grace to appoint Us costumtr to his court,
where we will clothe the needy in cOurtly at
tire, at terms suitable 70 every loyal subject,
and compatible with the most slender pun Sc.
Done at his majesty IS wardrobe, at Halls OF
Leubries. By command of his royal Ntbs.
Long live OURO,
Rex CarniVale.
Attest: Count de Noses, first gentleman of
the Wardrobe, late minister and cook.