Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-04-29
A MOurnful Dream.

a MOur0Iul Dreams
Last December my friend Keyser
dreamed one night that he would die on
the 18th of January. So strongly was he
assured of the fact that the vision would
prove true that he began at once to make
preparations for his departure. He got
measured for burial suit, he drew up his
will, he picked out nice lot in the Gene
terry and had it fenced in, he joined the
Methodist Church, and selected six of the
deacons as his pall-bearers; he also re-
quested the choir to sing at the funeral,
and he got them to run over favorite
hymn of his, TO see how it would sound.
Then he got Toombs, the undertaken, to
knock together burial-casket with silver
plated handles, and cushions inside, and
he instructed the undertaken to rush out
his best hearse, and TO buy sixty pairs OF
black gloves to be distributed among the
mourners. He had some trouble deciding
upon tombstone. The man at the mar
ble-yard wanted to shove off on him sec.
ond hand one, with stubby nose angel
weeping over kind OF fower-pot; but
Keyser finally ordered new one, with .
design representing . rosebud with a
broken stem, and the legend, 'Not lost,
but gone before"
Then he got the village newspaper to
put good obituary notice of him in type,
and he told his wife that he would be
gratified if she would come out in che
spring and plant violets upon his grave.
He said il was hard to leave her and the
children, but she must try to bear up
under it. These Affections are for our
good, and when he was an angel he would
come and watch over her and keep his eye
on her. He said she might marry again
if she wanted to, for, although the mere
thought of 1t nearly broke his heart, he
wished her above all to be happy, and to
have some one to love her and protect her
from the storms Of the rude world. Then
he and Mrs. Keyser and the children
cried, and Keyser, as closing word OF
counsel, advised her not to pillow for corn
earlier than the middle of March.
On the night of the 18th Of January
there was flood in the creek, and Keyser
got up at four O'Clock in the morning OF
the 18th and worked until night trying to
save his buildings and his wood-pile. He
was so busy that he forgot all about its
being the day of his death, and as he was
very tired he went to bed early and slept
soundly all night.
About six o'clock on the morning of the
18th there was q ring at the door bell.
Keyser jumped out of bed, threw up the
front window and exclaimed;
"Who's there?''
"It's me-Toombs," said the under.
taker.
"What in the mischief do you want at
this time Of the mornings" demanded
Keyser.
Want?" said Toombs, not recognizing
Keyser. Why, I've brought around the
Ice to pack Keyser in, SOS he'll keep until
the funeral. The corpse ID spoil this
kinder weather if we didn't
Then Keyser remembered; and 1t actu-
ally made him feel mad when he thought
how the day had passed and left him still
alive, and how he had made . fool Of him.
self. So the corpse said:
"Well, you can Just skeet around home
agin with that ice; the corpse ID not yet
dead. You're just leetle too anxious, it
strikes me. You're not goin' TO chuck
me into sepulcher yet, if you have got
everything ready. SO you can haul on
and unload"
About half-past ten that morning the
deacons came around with Grape on their
hats and gloom in their faces, to carry the
body to the grave and while they were on
the front steps the marble-y yard man drove
up with the rosebud tombstone and q
shovel, and stepped in to ask the widow
how deep she wanted the grave dug. just
then the choir arrived with the minister,
and the company was assembled in the
parlor, when Keyser came in from the
stable, where he had been dosing horse
with patent medicine and warm mash for
the CHAMBERS. He was surprised; but he
proceeded to explain that there had been .
little mistake somehow. He was also
panied to find that everybody seemed to
be good deal disappointed, particularly
the tombstone man, who went away mad,
declaring that such an old fraud ought to
be rammed into the ground anyhow, dead
or alive. Just as the deacons left in .
huff the tailor's boy arrived with the
burial suit, and before Keyser could kick
him off the steps the paper-carricr flung
into the door the Morning Argus, in which
that obituary notice occupied prominent
place.
Anybody who wants good, reliable
tombstone that has . broken rosebud ON
| 1t, and that has never been used, can buy
one of that kind, at sacrifice for cash,
from Keyser He has not yet begun to
watch over his wife In the character Of An
angel, but several times since he has
thrown fatirons and scuttles at her when
she scolded him for chewing tobacco in
4 the honsA Ha haa made mn his mind novg