The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-09-09
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

THE best life policy--keep out Of debt
A TRULY polite man will always bow to
Fate.
DESIRABLE bonds for exchange-Faga-
! bonds.
IT Is believed that base ball, as a nation.
al game, is on its home-stretCh.
In what ship has the greatest number
Of people been wrecked: Courtship.
GOOD juggers-The pawnbrokers; they
keen their balls in the air all the time.
JUST as she went away, August began
| to grow warm hearted and atfectionate.
WAGON immigration across the plains
to Oregon this season is unusually large
A JILTED one pathetically sings:
'Tis sweet TO wait, but oh! how bitter,
To wait for a girl and then not git 'er.
THE C0urier-Journaz says I" the Bank of
California has experienced slight
cramp."
ANTHRACITE coal of a good quality has
been discovered about twenty-five miles
north of Deeth, Nev.
THUS far and no father''-as the child
in the founding hospital remarked when
| he was five years old.
THE oyster that would have poisoned
you on the 3lst of August will nourish you
on the 1st of September.
IT has been found that in nearly every
civilized country the tree that bears the
most fruit for market is the axle1tree.
DR.. HAMMOND says that for Il sudden
attack of burglar nothing is more ctlica-
| cious than Galena pills applied eXter-
nally.
THE editor of the Providence Press
wears kid plaster on his bald head, and
the flies have "ResOIred, That some folks
are born mean and can't help it."
SNAKES are good for something, after
all. One killed and cut open in the Le-
high Mountains the other day was found
to contain quantity of potato-bugs.
TEXAS is going to get up lottery and
raise funds for monument to sam Hous-
ton Those who don't strike :. prize can
take il out in curSing Sans memory.
"MA," inquired little West Side girl,
| last evening, brushing her hand across
her face, "what makes musk-eaters come
and eat us? We amt musk melons''-
Chicago Jouo9sal-
A NEW fuel, composed of common ma
tive peat saturated with crude or refuse
petroleum and coated with rosin, is here
after to be used by the New York Fire
Department in place of camel coal.
A ST. LOUIS physician has offered re-
ward of $1,000 for an authenticated case
of death from eating ripe watermelon. He
may supplement the offer by another of
81 900 for watermelon he will call ripe.
THERE comes report from woman in
New York of woman who sheds tears
over the perusal of the City Directory.
She weeps because it refers to a number
of men, alas! who have never been in love
with her.
APRoPos of the recent death of a man
out in California from the hiccoughs,
somebody says that sure cure is to grasp
the sufferer tightly by the back of the
neck and have him hold his breath as
long as possible.
A VILLAGE pedagogue, IN despair with a
stupid boy, pointed to the letter A and
asked him if he knew it. Yes, sir
"Well, what is it?' II know him very
well by sight, sir-but rat me if | can re-
member his name"
A FLOCK of $500 sheep at Mission Sar
Jose, Cal, got frightened, recently, and
ran into patch ofpoison oak. Here they
got tangled and piled one on another il
layers six or eight deep, and some 7O(
were smothered or crushed to death.
A CONSCIENTIOUS young trotting hors'
at San Francisco, unwilling to aid il
swindling the public, took the bit between
his teeth on the first day he was trained
swan into the sea and drowned himself
The driver escaped. The sad events hav'
cast gloom over the community.
A BOSTON drummer, with ears larg'
enough to hang carpetbag on, took th'
, noon eXpTtSS Aahih5 Ai
seat beside beautiful, but, as he thought
rather green, country girl, he endeavoret
, to draw her into conversation. Ate
making several remarks about the weather
lateness of the season, etc, he told her h
had always lived in the city and wa
rather green alout country matters. OBJ
serving a number of COWS grazing in
, field he asked her what they were, and sh
politely informed him. He continued t.
quiz her until they arrived at Hartford
when he observed mule standing rea
he track at a way station. The anima
was braying loudly. Madam" sai'
: the Boston drummer, twill you pleas
+ tell me what noble animal is that about t
! take the trainy" Says the beautiful coun
b try girl: BY the size of his ears and tn
i way it brays should call it a Bostol
!, drummer" He, without bidding good
day, left the seat and car instantly. A fey
S minutes later he was requested by the con
ductor not to stand on the platform.