The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-02-11
II. T. Bother.

4 knot Of gentlemen were the otner usy
5,.cussipe, the poli.jcal situation when the
conversation turned upon the probable or
gan;za,iou of 3. r. Is. The first sugges'
tion of course, was that he IS an utterly de-
nrayed specimen OF Il man. This idea was,
howeycr. abandoned upon the ground OF us
being well known fact that there Is no man,
however bad, who has not some good quar-
tics Then il was suggested that De was
depraycd woman in disguise, II having been
demonstrated that an utterly abandoned "o-
man with al apologies TO the fair SEX Is the
worst Of all hum,ns. This was defeated oy
the simple argument that that class OF wo-
men always display scertain amount OF phy-
steal courage, which Is. r. Is. u entlreiy
without: besides. Providence having never
seen ii. 10 create woman so nldeotsiy
urlv. The next was more plausible
than cithcr-viz, that he was species Oh
intelligent baboon, or, according to the OAR
winian theory, an ape, IN the transitlon s'aVe'
having acquired the vices Of both man and
beast without the virtues of either. The
seeming plau>ibility Of this did not save II
from the fate Of the others, no one IN the
marty having ever seen or heard of cross.
eyed monkey, ape, babooD, o. gorilla. The
next venture was that he was the Devil him
self in disguise. All who have read Milton
fell on this idea at once, tooth and nail. de-
cIaripc that the Devil did have some noble
and manly qualities, and, moreover. was on
one occasion ashamed Of himself. at last 1t
was decided, mem. cOn., that he was Il con-
clomeration. put together by the father OF
all evil for his own use and benefit. 1t was
decided that he had endowed this precious
specimen of his handiwoIk with The heart
and general disposition Of the jackal, which
naturalists tell US delights TO rob the graves
of their dead, mot after the gold in their
teeth though, and 10 bang on the oufskirts
of ere lit.mobiiier caravans 10 PICK up tne
little bits Of corruption which Their more
dainty friends have cast aside. The general
moral qualities aud dellcacy OF the hog ana
the brains Of the fox, which has just enough
10 steal without having sufficient quantity
20 see tha. it would 10 better by being hon
cst-nature being required to furnish case
for this precious mixture did so; but cut OF
pity to her other children stamped the ~ord
rfilaia all over it 50 plainly that he that rue
meth may read. As to bis voice, that OF the
yulture was offered rs nearest TO its accents !;
but this was rejected, rs y. +. Is. was
never known 10 be near where any
fighting was going on under any
prctencn whatsoever, so that he could not
partake OF the nature Of that useful blrd.
Finally we settled on the carrlon'cro".
Then the question arose rs to the name that
this connection should so by One su"ges.
aiou was, "The great molal polrcat,' which,
by "A wise provision If Providence, cannot
contain its own offensive odor, but inyo'un-
tarily gives warning not 10 approach; an
other, "a moral corkscrcw," which prefers
ginning lis ends By tortiou> and winding
ways rather tIan going straight aud honest
Il at its Object. Another argument in favor
o. The colk>creW proposition was that, like
t. f. b., after all is windings and turning.
it Only succeeds in getting into bottle.
Both Of these, however, were rejected for
tic a:htl, THE great moral what'iS-it,'
whicI Vas unanimously accepted, with Il
further suggestion that il be exhibited at the
Centennial IA the masterpiece of the present
father Of his country" the Devil.