Huntington advertiser. [volume] (Huntington, W. Va.) 1874-1921, 1875-01-21
NUMBER 40.
TIE man who could not express bic
feelings srnt them bv mail. !, rse &

The tax which presses most heavi-
ly on school.boys-Syn-tsx.
A Chicago shirt dealer advertises,
Buy from me. or ! shall bust" 2,
/ Troubles are like dogs the smaller
they are the more they annoy you.
What was never seeu-The i'm
preston Of kiss made BY . typo on
bis girls lips. r .
Young folks grow most when in
love. II increases their sighs won.
derfully.
Pericles Is dead. He vas Parisian
rhinoceros Butler will soon be the
last representative Of the species.
The man who three vear ago mar.
ried Newport belle says he begins
to realize that thing Of beauty h 8
jaw forever. ~ Aln
They have new test for intoxica-
ton over in Canada. When . man
can pronounce reciprocity" without
tripping, the police let him 20.
There is . Connecticut widower
who declares that nothing reminds
him Of his poor, dear wife 30 much a.
to live within earshot Of . saw mill.
Ayoung man says the prettiest girl
in town wears blue-topped stockings,
and she is not afraid to show them.
He saw them hanging ON q clothes.
line in the back yard
A model bill. made out by an old
farmer against his Deighbor, reads -
follows: "Neighhor A. Dr.. to B. to
horse and wagon goin' to mill once
since and twice before, ono dollar
and 80 cents.
A Canadian murderer wanted them
to put of the day of execution, owing
to his being afflicted with the tooth.
ache but the sheriff said he'd got to
30 TO Inill next day and he couldn't
possibly accommodate the prisoner.
The Georgia negro has no NOR,
faith in banks. lie lays his mspev
out in store clothes and hair oil and
the news Of bank suspension causes
him to exolsim "Bust away wild We.
| but YOU cant hurt des IavapJ..
panx.' lI
A little girl four.years old created
ripple by remarking to the teacher
OF her Sunday school class. "Our
dog 9 dead bet the anpels vas
scared when they zee him coming .up
the walk. He's cross to strangers"
Rome Seminal.
The exclamation ofan old lady on
hearing of the execution of a man
who had once lived in tue neiobbo,.
hood was: "Well know'd he'd come
to the gallows at last, for the knot in
his handkerchief WAS always slipping
round under his lift ear"
A rustic youth. being asked out 70
take tea with frieGd, was admon.
ished to praise the eatsbles. Pres.
emily the butter was passed to him
when he remarked: "Vsry nice but.
ter, what there 10 Of it," and ob.erv.
ing a smile, added, land plenty, of
it-such Is il is
A lad who borrowed a dictionary
to read, returned it after he oot
through, with the remark: at sss
VERY nice reading, but Il somehow
changed the subject VERY often" Il
WAS his sister that thought the first ice
cream she tasted was little touched
with the frost.
A certain sealous but Ignorant
negro preacher, in expoundinS 10 biz
flock as to the astonishing nature OF
miracles, got little confused in the
matter. He said: my beloved
friends, the greatest of Mi miracles
was bout the loaves and fishes. Dere
was 5000 losves and 1000 fishes an
dc twelve 'postleS had 70 eat dem all.
and de miracle is dey didn't bust"
How much is your stick candy :"
inquired boy of q candy dealer on
tuesday six sticks for FIVE cents"
Six sticks for FIVE cents, ehS Now.
lem'me see. Six sticks for five cents,
live for four cents, four for three
cents, three for two cents, two for ono
cent aud one for nothin'. III take
one" And he walked out, leaving
the candy man, in state Of bewilder.
ment.
An Akron physician tells of a little
Akron boy who came to him and said:
. doctor. want some ipecsc."
What do you wan. 1t for" "Nev.
er mind just give it to me- "Who
, sent you heref" Nobody rent me I;
came myself Il can't let you have
= II unless yOi tell me what you are
going to do with it." swell, Doctor,
G our hired girl has swallowed silver
quarter, and she said that If ] would
e give her something that would bring
: it up, ] might have it,"
: An Industrious ci:isen Of San Juan
aro,e iex mornings ago, while the
fe-tive lark NAE still snpring, and
with tin bucket uoder his arm went
to the barn N milk the family COW.
II was dark and rainy. and in fumb'
ling about for old BrindIe he got into
the wrong pew and began TO pail the
: of mule of his wagon team. lie cant
remember now which side Of the rod
: he went out at, but his recollection oi
alighting OH the picket fence is very
vivid. He expects the bucket down
in few days.
A 0octle husbandIess creature ir