West-Jersey pioneer., 1875-10-21
PAINT YOUR EYE WHILE You WAIT"


There's sign on Centre St. in this city
which good people who 60 to bed early and
rise with the lark instead of staggering
home late after lark, and who are not
familiar with the ways of "the boys" often
wonder at and inquire about. There are
boisterous persons. however, young, old,
and middle aged, who keep late hours, and
frequent debating societies where spirited
discussions are had and knock down argu-
ments used, who know what it means just
as easy as they know the clink of a bottle
and glass Or the pop of a cork. To them,
coming down Centre st. with the early
dawn and sore head, one sign alone of all
the train can fix the sinners wandering eye.
1t adorns door-post, and it says to the
wayfarer who has run against something
during the night, "Paint your eye while
you wait" Only that; no more. But how
brimming it is with sympathy and tender
ness and appreciation of the situation
"While you wait!" Here is an artist who
knows the annoyances to which tradesmen
subject their customers by promising their
work and then subjecting them to endless
delays. So he boldly offers to do your work
under your own observation, and while you
wait for it. This is assurance made doubly
sure, and it offers unusual inducements to
persons who are out late and in bad COM
pany. Only it would be vastly better for
the parties with damaged frontispieces in
most cases, if instead of resorting to this
temporary makeshift to conceal the dam
ages, they would abandon bad company for
a few days, try some sort of healing applica-
tions, and think it over while they waited.
There's party just now staggering home
from Ohio in very limp and bedraggled
condition, hoarse with much bowling, thick
in its utterance, with fearfully sore head,
and bad taste in it's mouth, and two eyes
purple as grape. 1t has been in very,
very bad company. It has been making
not only night but thirty or forty nights
of it. 1t is too far gone even to sing 81
wont go home till morning." 1t is coming
round by way of Pennsylvania. Upon quite
number of door posts it might see, if it
was not too far gone to see anything, the
seductive notice of the Centre St. painter,
''Paint your eye while you wait" Several
newspaper offices have put out the sign,
and quite a number of influential politicians
have brought out their paints and brushes.
All! the dear sanguine souls! They don't
see anything but discoloration in the case,
and they think they can paint the old party's s
eye while the old party waits, and that then
it can go right on keeping company with
William Allen, and Samuel Cary, and that
sort of young fellows, and in very little
while it will be steady on its legs, and be
carrying transparencies and torches, and
damning the coupon clippers, and singing
ribald songs, and getting ready to vote the
do. Here are hiccoughs and nausea and
nervousness and general debility and all
sorts of things that follow prolonged de-
bauch. You can't touch the old party's
trouble by painting its eye while it waits.
Lay it on it's back in some convenient hos
pital, put raw beef on its eyes, let it mediate
and recover slowly, and while it lies there
solemnly resolve not to go on any more
sprees with William Allen and Samuel Cary.
Meantime Mr.. William Allen has retired
W ith wet cloth wound round his heated
brow, and Samuel Cary-speaking of Cary
reminds us of the meditative lumberman
who bought two raw oysters and had them
wrapped up in a paper. Said the wonder
ing saloon keeper, as he handed over the
parcel, "What on earth yer goin' ter do
with 'em?' "Well, yer see," said the
lumberman, ''Tm goin' up ter Oshkosh ter
night ter hev some fun with the boys, n
I've most alters noticed It theirs nothin' SO
good fer takin' out Inflammation IS raw
lister" Samuel Cary has had much ex-
perience with ''the boys" We suspect he
bought the raw oysters at the beginning of
this '.jamboree," and that he is lying on
his back somewhere now with one on each
eye.-N. Y. Tribune.