The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-08-19
A Sensitive Man.

JUST before noon yesterday Mr.. Jones
sat down on an empty barrel standing IN
front of a liquor store on Michigan avenue
and remarked that it was cheaper to lose
| two dollars worth of time waiting for the
car than to foot it nine blocks. Mr.. Jones
is long and lean, and doesn't weigh over
$50 pounds. The barrel ought to have
held up two Just like him, but as he wig
gled around to secure an easy position the
/ head fell in. Mr.. Jones fell in after the
head. 1t wasn't the best he could do, but
no time was given him to plan and pom
der The first thing he knew after the
crash was finding his feet and ankles over
one side and his shoulders and head
wedged against the opposite. His head
was bent forward until his neck was near
" broken, his legs seemed to have been
driven up, and he was right where the
BOYS wanted him. He yelled out in smoth-
cred tones, and an aged lady who keeps
an intelligence office near the scene of the
accident looked down from her window
and called out;
"Bub, we don't want any such fooling
around here!''
"Bub be blowed-lemme out-help!
help" hoarsely replied Mr.. Jones.
"Oh! young man, you're on your way
to the gallows.' said the aged lady, and
she drew back from the window and
sighed.
Few people walk the streets at noon, and
Mr.. Jones yelled out many times before
/ the grocer came out. He saw the feet
sticking up and he gave them rap with
potato-masher and exclaimed:
You boys deserve killing"
I'm dying in here-help me out"'
roared Jones.
IN die you, you old vagrantn' replied
the grocer, seeing that the feet belonged to
a man, and he gave the barrel kick.
Four or five boys came around the cor
ner, and when they discovered what was
up one of them recognized Mr.. Jones
voice Looking into the barrel he asked
d" Is that you, Jones ?"
Yes-yesr' gasped Jones.
" Are you doing well down there, Mr..
jones'"
"Oh. Heavens-lemme up" cried the
prisoner.
Aren't you easy in your mind, Mr.
Jones:" inquired another boy.
Il tell you am dying" shouted Jones
as he tried to struggle around.
Il believe you are a liar" replied the
grocer as he gave the barrel a shake.
When he was convinced that the man in
the barrel was not vagrant or beggar,
he set about helping him out. He tried &c
lift him up, but Jones yelled for mercy
and the boys put in their talk and decided
that the barrel should be tipped over. This
was done, and while the grocer went atteI
the Ratchet to knock the hoops off the boys
rolled Mr.. Jones up and down the walk
''to cool him off,
" Do you feel better now, Mr. Jones ?:
inquired one.
Have You cramps in the stomach, Mr.
Jones ~ asked a second.
DO you really and truly want to ge
out of that palace-car, Mr.. jones'" asked
a third
And Jones growled and took on anG
tried to kick, and, as the boys rolled him
along, he was heard making a solemn vow
that he would kill every boy in Detroit il
J he ever got out of the barrel. The grocer
finally came with his Ratchet, and as he
knocked at the hoops he said it was pity
to go and destroy nice barrel like that il
order to save one human life.
, The slaves finally fell in and fell out
and Jones gave yell and scrambled up
"Ah! he's the man to play circus
tricksn' exclaimed one of the boys.
You bet he's the boss performer
yelled another.
Mr. Jones clawed around and tried t,
get them, and, as he limped away, the ageC
f lady in the intelligence office looked on
of the window and said:
IF that man doesn't go around rObbin2
, clothes-lines, then I'm no judge of human
naturcn '-Detr0it Free Press.