Martinsburg weekly independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1873-1875, 1875-02-13

~ bVEC tui lthc IL WHcu
the poulterer is not looking.
1t is enough for one thing at time
to happen, especially twins.
The iewelry for the sea-shore is un-
doubtedly salt-are diamonds.
Many opinions go for nothing--it
costs nothing to "ex-press them.
There is nothing more depressing to
thermometer than cold weather.
How unjust it is to accuse bald
headed man of putting on false haiss.
John Henry wants to know II the
Ohio lottery law prohibits marriages.
How TO make good puffs-send the
publisher fifty cents line for them.
Young men, never say die when
there's pair-odice within your reach.
The New York World wants to know
il man with a cough is not hackman
"What can't be cured must be sold
fresh, )" is what they say in Porkopolis.
The financial pressure is loosening.-
Even the days are not so ''short" as they
were.
Ia some Of the new styles there is no
change. Poor relatives are cut the same
as last year
1t is better to be alone in the world
than to bring up boy to play on the
accordion.
1t is very cold weather, and yet low
ers do not see the sense of hugging a
B'klyn Arg,tz.
A girl baby in Moore county, Tenn,
has double tongue; but we don't know
that that's news.
A little peppermint is better than
brandy when there is any trouble with
your "true inwardness.
Since the hard times struck Nevada
they have raised the price for killing
Ohinaman to seven dollars.
The reason why the Pagans are 50
far behind in the march Of civilization is
that they are such idol people.
A book has been published called
"Half Hours with Insects" The author
was not regular boarder
Men who travel barcfooted around a
newly carpeted bed room often find
themselves on the wrong tack
David Kalakaua has great liking
for children, He says he nsver saw one
that didn't look good enough to eat.
That's too bad. Boston is to have a
convention Of bald-headed men. After
all, however, it may not be so unfortu-
nate Of the Chicago fire.
"What station do you call this 2" said
a man, as he crawled ont Of the debris Of
railroad smnsh-up. Devastation"
replied the conductor.
GA man who fears the Lord and can
carry home an intoxicated member is
the kind of n Sergeant-at-Arms they
want for the Minnesota Legislature.
The proprietors of an Iowa paper offer
the premium Of years subscription to
any ore who win bring a well-killcd
Burglar, caught in the act"
However humble or undeservipg he
may be, never make man your enemy.
By satursting your kindling-wood with
tungstate of soda he can make it unin
flammable.
How on earth do you manage asked
gentleman the other day Of two in-
separablc lsungers. You are always to-
gether, on never do anything and yet
you always have plenty money. Sim
plest thing in the world, my dear fellow
was the candid reply. "We borrow of
ono another"
should be glad to accommodate you
said an Iowa damsel, to whom young
BostonAn had proposed" but am
partially engaged already. There's ma,
though, who's only thirty-fve, and
wishes to marry again, and | think she
is just now without an engagement. Che
young man took the next train East.
A Swiss hoatman recently pulled
would-be suicide cut Of Lake Geneva.
An hour or t 0 altcrward the boatman
discovered The same man banging by
the neck to a tree, but did not interfere
that time. The magistrate summoned
him to answer ~hy lie did not prevent
the suicide, but he replied that he sup
posed the gentleman only hung himself
up to Try.