Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-11-03
Odds and Ends.

A MAN may occasionally kiss tho
wrong woman by mistake, but when he
makes a practice of it the right woman
finds it Out1-and that's what bothers
him.
A ST.. Louis dog goes about the
| streets gathering cigar stumps, which
he carries home to his master. It was
poor editor who owned this specimen Of
cigarcity.
"MR. SHERIFF, wish you would hur-
ry up this matter as soon as possible,
were the last words of Pemberton, the
| murderer of Mrs. Bingham, to Sheriff
Clark at Boston.
SENsITIvENEss is closely allied to
egotism. Indeed, excessive sensibility
is only another name for morbid self
consciousness. The cure for tender
sensibilities is to make more of our
objects and less of ourselves.
A CH1NAMAN's obituary:
Thlow way him la'ge iat-tion,
Mash him tub an bleak him pan,
Him got through him washee business;
Alice same dead Chinaman.
Gomez fin out How, 1ongside Joss.
FISH diet is said, after all, not 10
make brain. but to make ishy sort of
people. So That Boston, which was try
ing to be intellectual, finds it has made
mistake in eating shrimps. 49,
EUGENE" Come, sit down on the
shelly shore, and hear the mighty ocean
roar" Amelia-''I can't sit down you
silly goose, because I'd burst my PIN
back loose"
The Easton Free Press says that
Joshua was the fret man who ever stop
ped newspaper. He stopped the
daily sun. We suppose he did SO be-
cause the war news did not suit him.
A CIRCUS tiger is roaming around
Brazil, Ind, and men who never stayed
at home an evening since they can re-
member are now to be found in the
bosom of their families every night.
In reply to a young writer who wished
to know (which magazine will give me
the highest position quickest % con-
temporary advises ''a powder magazine
if you contribute fiery article.
"AREN'r you little off collar 2"
was what Jones remarked to his wife
one night, when she appeared arrayed
for party In an extremely low-necked
B
"of choler," anyhow.
WHEN you see Detroit girl come out
of store with hop, skip, jump and
pleased expression, you may know that
the nnilliner has told her she can press
her old summer hat over into $50 win
ter style.
In Samoa, the new kingdom by the
sea, the constitution provides that " at
ter the expiration Of seven years, when
the people are accustomed to the ballot
and realize the sanctity of the election"
they may change the monarchy int
republic.
A MERCHANT, writing to an agent in
Africa, requested him to send him 81 or
q monkeys, and, as he wrote a careless
hand, he shortly afterwards received
LOOP monkeys, all alive and in good
condition.
A FAoET1oUs boy asked one of his
playmates why hardware dealer was
like boot maker. The latter, some
what puzzled, gave it up. Why"
said the other, "because one sold the
nails, and the other nailed the solos,
A YOUNG lady in Minnesota boasts of
having ten grown brothers to watch
over her, but Norristown girl prefers
to have only one brother to watch over
her, provided he is the brother of some
other girl.
A BosroN man confesses that he prays
twice year. He prays until the cholera
season is over and doesn't begin until
the baseball season sets in. He is the
only truly pious man in Boston, and is
exhibited as local curiosity.
A BOX for transporting eggs is offered
having light iron wire springs between
each of the trays in which the eggs are
placed. The box cover, when put on,
congresses all the springs of the vari-
GUS trays, and holds the load firm with
out injuring the elastic cushions on
which it rests.
AT Liverpool husband and wife had
arranged that when one was drunk the
other should work, thus keeping on
every ether day. But once John kept
drunk for three days and came home in
distress. "And what are you crying
about2" asked his helpmate. ssOh, /
feel so unhappy" cried John. Gun
happy and you've been drunk while
I've been working ever since day before
yesterday. Do you expect to be an
angei?'' sl59
TIE Springfield Republican says:
!" Not every tramp is stupid rascal,
Brookheld people are sure. One stop
ped at widow HIS few days since,
and asked for food. She replied that
she had mono. Mr.. Tramp went across
the road to a neighbours and asked If
they were aware that the woman living
on the othe other side was starving. He
then requested the loan of fshing-rod
that was lying close by which was
granted. With this he went TO pond
short distance off, fished for a few
hours, catching good string. returned
to widow a., and make her > present