The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-11-18
Wit and HumOr.


A MAN of pith- The Alderman.
A CAPITAL sky-light -Th e moon.
IT is not so much trouble for man to
get rich as it is for him to tell when he's
got rich.
81 woNDERif fit sea-sickness that makes
sailors always a-heaving up anchors !"
exclaimed Aunt Hepzibah as she looked
thoughtfully up from the paper.
heast JIMMY, give us the core of yer APP
fple, will ye?" Jimmy (still eating),
ssYou don't want this, it's q cooking
apple. I never give q Teller cooking
apple. - sas
g BUILDING castles in Spain, Mi. ST.
said the Ian dlady to Spicer, who was
thoughtfdlly regarding his breakfast
cup Nc, ma'ann,' said 6picer, only
looking over my grounds IN Java"
The season is now fairly arrived when
the father of the family absent-mindedly
picks up the poker by the hot end and
then lays it down again not SO absent
mindedly. Still, no man of spirit will
admit that woman knows how to fix the
fire..
A LOUISVILLE girl was shot in the foot,
day or two ago, and the doctors are
now engaged In mining for the ball.
One of them has worked his passage into
the foot for so great distance that they
are obliged to let his provisions down to
him by rope.
A MAN who called in at Newburg
| on. Y) jewelers. the other day to consult
the regulator, remarked as he got out a
paper and pencil, that as he didn't have
his watch with him, he'd "just mark the
correct time down, and set the watch
when he got home.p
A LITTLE bow fell into the Woonasqua-
tucket river, Rhode Island, the other
day and was almost drowned ere his
playmates could tell where he was,
though they hadn't to run more than
halfway across the State for assist
arce.
JOHNNY (reaching over table) I want
pear. Father: Haven't / often told you
never to ask for thingss Johnny (con-
sidering) Well, then-please, papa,
may I have one without asking? Fond
mamma thinks he should have two for
that. London Fun.
S1MPKINs' clerk &c Well, AIRY, where
did you spend your bank 'oiday 2" AR
ryi: 3. Orfice p Simpkins' clerk 6 Or
fee; what shame IL AIRY "Not
bit 'ad lot of gals and chapsand pick
nicked. Lunch on the desks, kiss-in-
the-ring in the guvnor's room, h'ice in
the safe, and pipes everywhere. Out
an'-out spree. Guvnor's sacked the
'ousekeeper !'-H Hornet
!. MY friend,'' said Rev. Mr.. Kendall,
of Concord, N. H., to well dressed
Young stranger. who had volunteered to
stand by his horse while he stepped into
the bank, 'my friend, / am obliged to
you and when you Gre as old as am,
and [ aul as young as you are, 1 Will do
as much for you. But why don't you
invite me in to drink 2" was the rejoinder
to the astonished preacher. II. 'i a@ sss
+ Four men were enjoying little game
of euchre in saloon, the other night,
when boy poked in his head, and said
"There's woman out here who wants
to. know if Mr.. -- - is In here" The
men didn't exactly hear what the name
was, but three of them got out of the
side door as suddenly as though small
box patient had been brought In. There
is nothing singular about this, only the
one left was a single man.
( a FAMILY living on Case avenue found
a good thickness of cream on some milk
that had been standing over night, and
when the milkman made his usual call
the pleased housewife exhibited the
cream and said ct never expected to
see this" The man looked at the cream,
winked wisely and solemnly, scratched
his head and replied Well, / don't
know what ais it, but you can throw it
out and III give you fresh pint in It's
place !''--Detr0M Free Press. 80 "
HEAR the rolling of the Press,
Iron Press
IA egs Printing tales of dire distress
t How it bangs, and cl ngs, and slams
sstH Through the long and dismal night!
,g3moa Wearied newsboys on the door
9har4 Sleep as the ronsmanster roars,
49, q frA t-r.r t7es With delight. eass
affa VI Keeping time, time, time,
sss - with sort of crashing rhyme,
As it prints its thousand lies ,t