Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-05-07
Gleanings.

"A liblucH SpccCH-
Party ties-white cravats.
A good floor manager-a broom.
Tea for the gossipers' tablet. T.
Who is the greatest terrifier? Fire.
Cherry cobblers-jolly shoemakers.
Doors have lst-less look in summer.
A good line of business-the fish-line.
Cheap drapery II the curtains of the
night.
Living on excitement is very expensive
living.
What animals are often seen at funerals?
Black kids.
A bad egg is not choice egg, but is
hard to beat.
The Minnesota wolves are starving
Where's Bcrgh?
To produce cowslps in winter-drive
your cattle ON the ice.
The only way young lady could spell
"molten," recently, was, 'M-O-u-lt-o-n."
Spring vegetables cannot be expected
yet, but it is almost getting time for bon
net bills.
But for sweet faces, sweet smiles and
sweet songs, there would be no heaven on
earth.
Selfmade men are very apt to worship
their maker.
1t comports with the eternal fitness of
things that drunkard should speak in
gutteral tones.
1t appears on the authority of the sta
tisticans that one of woman's rights is to
live longer than man.
Shoemakers complain that the times are
SO hard they can scarcely keep sole and
upper together
A man squeezed wasp's nest in his
hand, recently, thinking it was sponge,
but it wasn't.
Take care of your health and wife;
they are the two better halves that make
man of you.
Many editors are of such a peaceful
nature that they will not put a head on
their editorials.
which ladies are fondest of are the first
and last words.
A dressmaker's apprentice speaks of her
cross-eyed lover as the fellow whose looks
are cut bias
The one thing needful for the perfect
enjoyment of love is confdence-same
with hash and sausages.
Il wish l was pudding, mammal"
'Why:" ''Cause l should have such
lots of sugar put into me-"
A bright boy recently told his teacher
there were three sects; the male sect, the
female sect, and insect.
A baby in Milwaukee, Wis, has been
christened Zero" in honor of the cold
Sunday upon which he was born.
An excellent cure for dyspepsia is this:
Give a hungry dog a piece of meat, and
chase him till he drops it
\ Troy printer has five wives that the
officers know of, and they suspect the
existence of three or four more.
An eccentric woman in New York has
established "a home for INDECENT CATS"
where she leeds about eighty.
Another way to dispense with ceme-
teries without cremation - take all the
newly invented pills and don't die.
What is the difference between temp
tation and eternity? One is a vile of
the devil, and the other is devil of
while.
When l see people strut enough to be
cut up into bantam cocks, says Susan
Tall, l stand dormant with wonder and
say no more.
Good authority says that there are but
eighteen words in English which came to
US from the language of the ancient
Britons.
From all recent accounts of life in
Florida, the abbreviation Fla. would be
more significant with the insertion of the
vowel E.
After Jan. 1, 1879 all obligations paya-
BILE in New York State in dollars must be
met with dollars-gold dollars, and moth
ing else.
"What a shame that should be starv-
ing" exclaimed a poor corsetmaker out
achs of hundreds'
1t is said Egypt is the home of the fra
grant onion There is this about the
onion, you can always tell where it is
Mac York Nail.
A law forbidding the payment of diff
ferent salaries in the public schools ON
account of sex has just passed the Legis-
lature of California.
There is no such thing as luck. It's
fancy name tor being always at our duty,
and so sure to be ready when the good
time comes.
On woman with red hair who wrote
poetry; Unfortunate wOman how sad
is your lot! Your ringlets are red, but
your poems are not
\ Mississippi paper says: "Give
negro spawned mule, a single barreled
pistol Il brass watch, and you make him
supremely happy"
A brass band has Just been organized
in Mediapolis, and the inhabitants are
flying in wild haste to the grasshopper
region. Burlington Hack Eye.
At = funeral at Madison, Me-, lately,
the man who was buried was placed be-
side two Of his dead wives, while two
living ones attended the funeral
Southampton, Mass, has only three
cents in the treasury; but then the town
has no debt, and the three cents is SO
much ahead.
II haven't taken a drop of liquor for
a year." said all individual of questiona-
BILE morals. "Indcedl but which of your
features is to be believed, your lips or
your nose?''
The American Consul at Naples is often
mortified by his countrymen and women
calling upon him at the consulate to in
quire "when Versuvius may be expected
to give another shOw?"
Reading in the morning papers that
Thalberg had been enbalmed by his wild.
ow, Muggins remarked that he knew sew
eral married men who were kept alive ina
pickle by their wives.
Lightning recently struck telegraph
pole and ran along the wire into the office
at Coatsville, Indiana, when the operator,
seated at the instrument, eXcitedly tele-