The Worthington advance., 1875-06-11
MISCELLANY.
A Place Where All the Comforts AMI
Luxuries Can BE Enjoyed.
The Su1rEM HOUSE.

STRIVE 6 SWEET, Proprletors,
SAPoNACEoUs SPRINGS, NEw York.
This hotel has been built and arranged
for the special comfort and convenience
Of summer boarders. On arrival each
guest will be asked how he likes the stu.
alton. and if he says the hotel ought to
have been placed upon the knoll or fur.
ther down toward the village, the location
Of the house will be Immediately changed.
Corner front rooms up only ono flight for
every guest. Baths, gas, water-closet, hot
and cold water, laundry, telegraph, restau.
rant, fre-alarm, bar room, daily paper,
coupe, sewing machine, grand piano, cler.
gyman, and all other modern convenien.
COS, in every room. Meals every minute
If desired, and consequently no second
table. English, French and German die
tionaries furnished every guest to make
up such bill Of fare as he may desire,
without regard to the bill affair after.
ward in the office. Walters Of any na-
tionality and color desired. Every wal.
tor furnished with libretto, button. hole
bouquet, full dress suit, ball tablets, and
his hair parted in the middle. Every
guest will have the best seat in the dining
hall and the best waiter in the house.
Any guest not getting his breakfast
red'hot, or experiencing delay of six
teen seconds after giving his order for
dinner. will please mention the fact at
tho office, and the cooks and walters will
DO blown from the mouths Of cannon in
front Of the hotel at once. Children will
be welcomed with delight, and are re-
quested to bring hoop.sticks and hawkeys
to bang the carved rosewood furniture
especially provided for that purpose, aud
peg'tops to srin on the velvet carpets :;
they will be allowed to bang on the piano
1T ell hours, yell in the halls, slide down
the bannisters, fall down stairs, carry
away dessert enough for a small family
in their pockets at dinner, and make
themselves as disagreeable as the fondeet
mother can desire.
Washing allowed in rooms, and ladies'
giving an order to 'put me on fat.iron'
will be put on one at any hour of the
day or night. A discreet waiter who
belongs to the Masons, Odd Fellows and
Knights of Pythias, and who was never
known to even tell the time of day, has
been employed to carry milk punches
and hot toddies to ladies' rooms in the
evening.
Every lady will be considered the belle
Of tho house, and row boys will answer
the belle promptly. Should any row boy
foil to appear at guests door with =
pitcher Of ice water, more towels, 4 gin
cocktail, and pen, ink and paper before
the guests hand has left the bell-knob.
he will be branded "Front'' on the fore.
head and imprisoned for life.
The Office clerk has been carefully Sc
!ected to please everybody, and can lead
in prayer, play draw poker, match worst.
ed at the village store, shake for the
drinks at any hour, day or night, plsv
billiards, good waltzer, and can dance
the German, make. fourth at euchre,
amuse children, repeat the Beecher trial
from memory, is good judge Of horses,
as railway and steamboat reference is
far superior to Appleton's or any body
elss's guide, will Airt with any young
lady, and not mind being cut
Gown when ''pa comes down.
Don't mind being damned anv
more than Connecticut river. Can
room forty people in the best room in the
noose, when the hotel is full. attend IN
me annunciator and answer questions in
creek, Hebrew, Choctaw, Irish. or .nv ~
other polite language at the same momont
without turning hair.
Dogs allowed in any room in tho hon.o
including the w(h)ine.room. Gentlemer
can drink. smoke, swear, chew, gamble
stare at the new arrivals, and indulge in
any other innocent amusement commor
to watering places, in any part Of The
hotel. The landlord will always be hapnv
to hear that some other hotel is ..thc bs:,
house in the country" Special attentior
gwen to parties who can give informatio
g to how ''tbese things are done il
Yewrup. The proprietor will take it a,
apersonal atfront if any guest on leavin,
should fail to dispute his bill, tell hin
tnat he is = swindler, his house 4 barn
n's table wretched, his wines vile, and tha,
ne the guest, was never SO imposed upor
sin msSlfe, will never stop their again, IND
means to warn his friends. .'.~.~
Beds Of ore have Been discovered ma, :. !,
Tort Scott, which yield = very mall,abl,
II e.st.l 2 aboas the color Of nickel. rs,
hlaeksmiths In the vicinity heat Il f.
their furnaces and use it for horse ahol
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