The daily gazette., 1875-06-26
Those Circus Bills.
AN AGED FEMALE ACROBAT CON
FUSES A MODEST YOUNG MAN.
From the Detroit Free Press. !

FUSES A MODEST YOUNG MAN.
From the Detroit Free Press.l
She had one in her hand as she came
up stairs. and she didn't say a word un-
til after she had wiped her spectacles,
placed them on her nose, unfoldad the
bill, and read few Of the headlines.
She was old fashioned in look. There
were strings to her bonnet, she had no
bustle, her gray hair was combed down
smoothly, and there were only eleven
yalds in her black alpaca dress.
Young man. don't you know that cir
cnses are awful big liars and hum bugs?"
she finally inquired.
Tho man at the table leaned back in
his easy chair and refused to express ON
opinion;
well. know it" she continued in d
positive tone, and 1 believe that they git
wuss every day: Now see here-listen
to this: "a gorgeous panorama of anna
zing wonders--a gigantic combination of
astonishing acrobatic talent" That's all
right ON the poster, but hev they got
emp I'd just like to see one o them
animals"
You're L,boring under a mistake,
madam. 1t means o grand display OF
natural curiosities, aud informs the
Papht Lhdb tiiS utS StcuTtu
many first-class acrohats---the chaps
who stand on their heads, turn head
over heels, and cut up so many mon
key chimes"
1T does, eh?" she musei; "waal, do
you believo that it takes n smart person
to keel over?"
"Wen. one has to have a good deal of
training"
'They do, eh 2" she remarked, as she
put her umbrella IN the corner and spit
on her hands; "Pll show you that you
.re otteiyed; TN all old woman. but il
CAN'T"
Madam, hold on, don't do itr' ex.
claimed the man bohind the table.
II can flop right over there and never
shake my bonnet" she said as she rose
up,
II know you can, madam, but dent.
1 am here alone, and IL don't want you
to. I'd rather you wouldn't. If you are
determined on 1t, shall certainly leave
the room!'
"Well, you know can do it, and
that's enough. You may he right
about what that means, but see here
hear this: The high ways ablaze with
resplendent chariots--the grandest
pageant on earth.' I've been to lots
Of circuses, young man, and I never
saw pageant yet. 1t they had one,
the door OF his cage wasn't OPEN"
"You are also in error there. The
bill refers to the fact that the great
| number of wagons, ,chariots, &C., make
up sight worth seeing as they pass
along the street"
folded the bill oveer. ~ don't see
why they couldn'tAhave said so.then.
And now see here-read that: Sig.
Govinof, in his aerial flights Now,
then, Is that boa constructor or q
cundurango?"
"It's inan, madain-one of the per-
formers. His real name Is pro badly
Jones, but isn't grand enough, and so
they put him down as sig. Govinoff.'
He Is the man who jumps off a rope,
turns over twice, and comes down all
right"
"He Is, ehP Well, if he's got an idea
that he's the smartest man alive want
to disappoint him. never did try to
turn over twice, but Ill do itright here
and now or break my neck Git the
things offi'n that table!'
"Stay, padam--don't. l wouldn't
have you do 1t for ifty dollars"
"Just once!"
"For heavens sake, madam, get
down off1'n this table-here-here's q
dollar if you won't do it'll"
81 don't want your money, and I
won't try it If your so scarf, but l don't
want no circus going around talking
about aryal flights and deceiving the
people" :,
1 ho tf1o n xrtnaH
the sweat of his brow, sand presently
she remarked:
"And here's another thing, right
here: "A sparkling asterisk, flashing
across the field of the cloth of gold
Mons. Gomeribue in his great delinea-
tions of human character I'd like to
know who she is?"
J MADAM, that's mana man who
| delineates character.
| "How?"
"Why, he makes up taces-expres,,,
ses mirth, sorrow, Joy, and SO forth. v
"He does, eh9 Well, what's that
to blow about 2 Make up faces-see
here!'
| And she shut her eyes, run her ton
que out, and looked like the bottom OF
a brass kettle, which had been kicked
in by mule.
"They are humbugs, sir!" she said
es she drew her tongue in, "and dye
'soose I'd pay fifty cents to 80 to
| one ?"
"Thcy are quite entertaining us 4
general thing"
"They are, ehg Entertaining, ch!
Well, if can't do more entertaining
in FIVE minutes than a circus can do al!
day I'll leave my bonnet up here Here
hold on to this chairi'
"Madam earnestly hope You are
not going to perform any tricks"
"Ih han't. eh9 Yon just hold on to
the legs of this chaiI!"
81 can't madam--I wouldn't do 1t fo1
all the diamond pins In Syracuse! &c
away, madam-go home I'm in an aw
full hurry"
"Well, won't then, but whom l
say circuses are humbugs can prove
it. don't keer two cents Tor theii
| Ii xra.Ja apd thjs N u0nliea paQeants