Los Angeles daily herald., 1875-03-04
BRASSER'S BURGLER.
what Two of the Worst Boys in the
World Did.
from the Detroit Free Press. |


Mr.. Brasser, who lived on Ninth ave-
nue., has son about twelve years old
named Claudius, and the other even
ing this boy received permission to
allow a neighbours boy to stay all
night with him. The old people sleep
down stairs in the sitting-room, and
the boys were put in the room direct
ly above. When they went up to ed
Claudius had the clothes-line under
his coat, and the neighbours boy had q
mask in his pocket. They didn't
kneel down and say their prayers like
good boys and jump into bed and tell
bear stories, but as soon as the door
was locked the Brasser boy remark
ed /:
"You'll see more fun around here
tonight than would lie in ten-acre
lot"
From a closet the brought out
cast-off suit Of Brasser's clothes, stuff
ed them. with whatever came handy,
tied the mask and an old straw hat on
for o head, and while one boy was
carefully raising the window the other
was tying the clothes-line around the
"man." The image was lowered down
in front of the sitting-room window,
lifted up and down once or twice, and
old Brasser was heard to leap out of
bed with a great jar. He was just
beginning to doze when he heard
sounds under his window, and his
wife suggested that it was cow in the
yard. He got up, pulled the curtain
away, and as he beheld man
standing there he shouted out
"Great bottles but it's a robber %
and he jumped into bed,
"Theodorious Brasser are you a
fool?n screamed the wife as he monop-
olized all the bed-clothes to cover up
his head.
"Be quiet, you old jadge, you ~ he
whispered; ssperhaps he'll go awayw
"Don't you call me jade !" she re-
his hair. "Git up and git the gun and
blow his head off,
20! you do it p'
"Git up, you old coward" she snap
ped "Pll never live with you anoth-
er day if you don't do it p
Brasser turned up the lamp, sat up
in bed and cried out:
"Is that you boys n'
"Mercy on me git mp n yelled the
wife, as the straw man was knocked
against the window.
"Ill blow his head off as clean as
milk H. said Brasser in loud voice as
he got up. He struck the stove three
or four times, upset chair and reach.
ed behind the foot of the bed and drew
out an old army musket.
"Now, then, for blood p he contin-
ed as he advanced to the window and
lifted the curtain.
The man was there, face close to the
glass, and he had such malignant
expression of countenance that Bras
ser jumped back with cry of alarm.
"Kill him ! Shoot him down, you
old noodle-head ~ screamed the wife.
will-by thunder | will ~ re-
piled Brasser and he blazed away and
tore out nearly all the lower sash.
The boys up stairs uttered yell and
groan, and Brasser jumped for the
window to see if the man was down.
He wasn't. He stood right there and
he made leap at Brasser.
s'He's coming in-perlice-boys-
,ho perlice ~ roared the old man.
The tattered curtain permitted Mrs.
Brasser to catch sight of man
jumping up and down, and she yelled:
"Theodorus, Pm going to faint ~
'Faint and be darned-boys-per
lice ~ he replied walloping the sheet
iron stove with poker.
"Don't you dare talk that way to
meW shrieked the old woman, reoov-
ering from her desire to faint.
"Po-leece! Po-leece ~ now came
from the boys up stairs, and while one
continued to shout the other drew up
the man, tore him limb from limb and
secreted the pieces.
Several neighbors were aroused, an
officer came up from the station, and
search of the premesis was made.
Not so much as a track in the snow
was found, and the officer put on an
injured look and said to Mr.. Brasser
"a guilty conscience need no ac-
cuser,"
'sThat's SOP, chorused the indignant
neighbors, as they departed.
AS Mr.. Brasser hung quilt before
the shattered window, he remarked to
his wife: s
"Now see what an old cundurago
yon have made of yourself ~
"Don't fling any insults at me, or
Til choke the attenuated life out OF
you,n she replied.
And the boys kicked around on the
bed, chucked each other in the ribs,
and cried !: .N5
"I'd rather be boy than Presi-
dent W ea