Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1875-05-13
VARIETY AND HC2lOR,

oet ~ oaSuy upon NV - ySe'
VARIETY AND MC1IOR.
A vain collection Of tails-Pcacock's
works.
Improving ones tinae-mending the
clock. -.
When is fowls head like bell:
When it is wrung for dinner.
Bad signs-Those which arc likely to
fall on the beads Of passersby.
Why is the sun like good loafs Be.
cause it's light when it rises
When man can't find anything 10 do
he has lived long enough.
The Brooklyn bridge is expected to be
completed in the summer Of 1877.
One factory at Nantucket, Mass, made
$4,000 straw hats for summer wear during
the winter.
The destructive tobacco fly has made its
appearance in large numbers IN some
parts of Virginia.
Give me to write tic songs Of nation,
and I care not who does the outdoor work.
IN. Y. World.
Here is a Pennsylvania conundrum:
"Does the Lord love man who spends Al
church festival the money be owe, his
washerwCman
Awriter in Boston paper says: ut
requires more strategy 10 DC book agent
than to be general''-and more brass.
What can be more exasperating to the
long suffering soul Of him who is ''next''
than to see the barber Of his choice
putting on his coat and starting for din
ncr.
They have introduced German into the
public schools of Baltimore One German
stood in the door and said to tie teacher:
If dot poy Hans comes home nit some
more plistcrs on his hants I shsll raise
dunder!"
People in California who have named
their babies James Lick arc in trouble,
and wonder how they happened to forget
the bad luck that proverbially attends too
much confidence in man before he has
stops breathing.
No eetin appuls in schoolours!" reads
sign on the blackboard Of a school-house
in enlightened old Massachusetts, where
education is supposed to sit on the top rail
and make faces at ignorance.
They attempted TO give out an eighteyl-
liable word at one Of the Rhode Island
spelling matchesth the other night, but found
that there wasn't room for it in tie State.
Boston Transcript
just the moment young man at licking.
ton, KY. Jugs home fiddle and commences
to scrape aud yeowl, just that moment a
cohort Of taxpayers gather and inquire for
the rope used at the last public execution.
Detroit Press.
A million pounds Of the new spring
clip of California wool have been sold at
San Francisco at from eighteen to twenty.
five cents, an average Of one to two cents
per pound better than last year.
Years Of experience in moving enables
carman to distinguish, in an apparently
indifferent glance, the light from the
heavy end Of stove, OF which is the bes
position on the stairs, in front or behind
Against these fearful odds the bead of thu
family stands no chance whatever.
Don't trust a man unless, you can. see
his face. A Kentucky farmer went te
dinner, leaving the hired man in thu
barn, singing, My soul ycarns to be free, ,
and in less than half an honr the man ant
$500 mule were missing.-De:roit Ere,
Press.
A Philadelphia preacher. Rev. DR.. Hat
field, has been proaouncing the 'libert,
Of the press" nonsense. For man thu
TO tamper with fate in . city where obitu
aries are made speciality, shows, to sa,
the least, an intense disregard Of posthu
NOUS reputation.
- writer in the London Globe says
AAeSAS 0AO OASy SAACC A0IIOAo WIN Us
slang to any great extent, viz: France
England and America. OF these Frenc
is by far the wittiest, American the mos
appropriate, and English the most fore
ble and obscure"
The Mayor of Kcnton, little wee vi
lage in Nevada, won't lake letter from
the posto61ce unless there is an Hon.
before his name. and he whipped an ed
tor who inadvertently spoke Of him as til
village President.
Edgar Poe, said: ITO Fillify a gre.
man is the readiest way in which littl
man can himself attain greatness. Til
crab might have never become a conste
lation but for the courage it evinced
nibbling Hercules on the heel!''
"Oh, your ahameful LAVISH said Mr.
Henry, when she found she couldn't Sc
her property without John Henry's joil
ing in the deed. "A woman can't ow
her own soul!" =. Madam assid Jol,
Henry, grayely, you, are mistaken. i
this free country = woman can own an,
thing but be- 49, I j 49, . u.
- Il gnestsat shptel lie other day Y.
o&ueRved 1ook ninoeiy &c :hia plsae. IN