The Findlay Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Hancock County, Ohio) 1870-1881, 1875-04-30
scHooLaAsTeR AROUND LOOSE.

Four or five days ago man about
forty years OF age, looking as if i., al
been draw over a dirty floor for an
hour or two, called upon one of the
members OF the Board of Education and
introduced himself as William Cannon
Harrison, of Saginaw county. He was
politely received, and he commenced
business promptly by saying:
I'm a-looking for situation as IA
school teacher"
''Ah, ah!" replied the member, won
dering why the man wasn't looking for
a wood pile.
IL could have brought a pile of re-
Communications so high" continued the
man, measuring with his hands; but
recommends don't amount to nothing
And have you any school ia viewr
asked the member.
81 want to get in here. in Detroit" "
replied the man. ''What wages do you
pay"
when the SchoOlmaster interrupted:
"Oh, well, s'pose you pay goign wages,
and that's all | can ask for ! don't
want to put on style and live high, as
Pm getting leetle old and ought to save
money"
Gas was going to remark" said
XI,,N, Ha- fI,o h. Il,
denly inquired:
''Do you allow licking in the schools
here? If they do, I'm the man you want
to dress the boys down. I've had 'em
come for Inc by the dozen, and it would
do your heart good to see the way laid
'eml Why, when l had that school in
Bay County thought nothing of licking
thirty scholars a day, besides hearing
twelve classes recite? I'm an old scream
er, 1 tell you, and there's fun in me when
you get me woke up!"
Il hardly think" commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up and said;
"0G course you won't take NE unless
pass examination; but l hain't afraid
of not passing. I'd like to see a word l
couldn't spell! For instance Catarrh,
C-a-t-a-r-r-h - catarrh.' 'Dandelion,
observation-disclosures Or try
me on words of four syllables:-Lugu-
brious, L-u-g-u-b-r-i-o-u-s - lugubri-
ous.' Oh! l can knock the socks right
off'n these swellhead teachers, and not
half tryl"
81 should like to help you, put in the
member, ''but-"
"Oh! you needn't think I'm behind on
geography" interrupted the teacher
''For instance What is an isthmusl
An isthmus is anarrow strip of land con
Meeting two larger bodies. Is the world
round or ilatl Round. Why is it round?
Because it is. Which is the largest river
in the world2 The Amazon. Which is
the highest mountain? The Andez. l
might go on for seventy-five days this
way, and then not tell you half know!
"You seem to be pretty well posted in
geography; but as | wanted to tell"
"And on grammar, tool exclaimed the
teacher, jumping up again, "What is u
noun? A noun is the name of any per-
son, place and thing. Give us an exam
ple:-Man, dog, cat, coon. coat, jack
knife. fish-hook, gate-pOst. What are
the principal conjunctions? And, as,
both, because, for, if, that, or, nor,
either, neither, and so forth, and so forth.
OH I'm right on the roof of the meeting
house when you sling grammar at me!'
The member was getting desperate,
and as soon as he could get in a word lie
said:
81 will take your name, and as soon
as a vacancy"
''And | know arithmetic from cover
to cover" exclaimed the man, standing
up again. II can go through the tables
like lightning through a haystack, and
when you get to fractions AMI cube root,
I'm awful weigh ton and a hall, and
still growing 'Rithmetlc's my favorite
study, AID I'll give fifty dollars to find a
man who'll saw sums in two and plane
'em down as quickly as l can"
His speech took the wind out of him,
and the member managed to say there
was no vacancy at present, but he would
take his name and consider his case as
soon as one occurred.
''Fd like to commence right of" re.
piled the man; but am willing to wait.
Here's my name and the mint get your
letter I'll come down a-hying. If you
get Inc you don't get much style, but you
get solid old common sense and genuine
education. You won't see scholars play
ing hide-and coop around the wood-box
or marbles on the fioor-no, you won't!''
And he went down stairs,-DetrOit
Free Press