The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1875-09-22
Harrowine to the sole-pegs.

Vagabonds.
Bellies call great many people
to church.
Matchless maid-The kitchen
girl out of lucifers. -
A young lady advertises to teach
tsvocal singing"
The cheapest of lawyers-keep-
ing ones own counsel.
Wanted-A lifeboat that will
float on q ''sea of troubles"
To Frequenters of Balls-Never
finish the evening with a reel.
What people can never live long
nor wear great coatsa Dwarfs
In what ship has the greatest
number of people been wrecked
Courtship.
What part of the church service
do young ladies prefer? The Hims
and Sans. n
The man who doesn't hang out
his.shingle and advertise dies and
leaves no sign.
Yes, that's SO. Take care of the
sense and the dollars will take care
of themselves.
There is nothing particularly
agreeable in boarding lion in his
den or in any other place.
A schoolboy says that when his
teacher undertakes to ''show him
what is what" he only finds out
which is switch. So
1t has been found that in nearly
every civilized country the tree,
that bears the most fruit for mar
ket is the axle tree. k
A man may be said to have been
drinking like fish when he finds
that he has taken enough to make
his head swim. -
s.What do you take for your
cold" said a lady to- MIR. :
sFour pocket handkerchiefs day,
madam, was the answer.
A New York tailor. says that if
all men would pay cash down for
clothes the tailors could knock
thirty cents off of prices.
''Any letters for Mike Hover
ask. d an individual of a clerk at a
postoffice window. No letters for
anybody's cow
Mr.. Benjamin Ginning some
time since presented the poor of
the city Of Liverpool with E200,
upon which a wag wrote: "a good
B. Ginning"
A story is told of IN Irishman
who, bound over to keep the peace
against all her Majesty's subjects,
exclaimed: "Then heaven help the
first foreigner I meet.
! A local debating society is pre-
pairing to wrestle with the follow
ing question: Resolved that q
man who plays on an accordion
and keeps a barking dog can't be
Christian Four members to one
want to take the negative side.
Governor Allen was reported to
have said that the majority of the
newspapers engaged in abusing
him were edited by postmasters.
This may be a misprint arising
from the authorization p. NJ The
Governor may have meant Power
g.
Some burglars, upon entering a
house, blew out the lights and tied
the occupants IN different parts of
the room. One took it to heart
sadly, and exclaimed: "Ob, I'm
undone-I'm undone?' Upon
which another replied: eThen
come and undo me-"
His anne it was Backus. He
lived in Michigan, bat now he is no
more. rs drank the whisky, put
the can of kerosene in his country
wagon, covered it up with straw,
dropped his pipe, set fire to the
straw, exploded the can, and when
found there was little left of either
him or the wagon.
When dog barks at you, go for
him. Follow him over the fence,
chase him beyond hills. careen after
him through swamps. Give up
your whole life to chasing him.
That is the only way to get the
best of a cur; and to get the best
of q cur is greater than reaching
heaven News.
Monmouth, Oregon, must be a
sweetly sonorous place. With only
forty houses, it has nine organs,
three piano fortes, and one instru-
ment described as a "piano melo-
deon. Moreover, it has for street
purposes cornet band of fourteen
performers, with numberless gui-
tars, fiddles, banjos, flies, flutes,
clarionets, and other private in
struments of melody.
A desperate villain, g years of age
named Robert Gordon, has recently
been sentenced by an English cler
gyman and magistrate to one
month in prison and FIVE years in q
reformatory, for the ofense of pla-
cling a few pebbles on the the track
of the Midland Railway, with the
purpose, to quote his own blood
curdling language, of hearing them
'.go smudge" when the train passed
over them. - go
The palladium of our liberties,
as most writer's have termed it, and
that LEGAL curse. as Mr.. i FEM