The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-05-06
Ancient JestS.

Blachscoods Magazine has review of a
new collection of ancient Greek jests of
Hierocles and Philager. The following
extract will give an idea of them:
"Another abundant class of stories
are those Of the confusion which results
from sleeping and dreaming. We read
in HieroCles that q man met fool and
said to him: Sir Blockhead, Isaw and
spoke to you in my sleep! A thousand
pardons, was his reply, Twas so busy l
didn't hear YOU In like manner one
said to another simpleton: "Demeas,
saw you here three days back in my
dreams You liev he replied, 4 was
in the country Another worthy
dreamed he was selling sucking pig,
for which he asked a hundred pence.
Some one bid him fifty; he stoutly re-
fused and in his energy woke up. As
pig and money were alike denied to his
waking sight he speedily closed his eyes
again and, extending his palm, said to
his dreamland bidder: We'll, well, let's
have the fifty? A variation of this class
is the story of the two fools, one of whom
dreamed that he had trodden on nail,
and straightway on waking bandaged his
foot. His comrade, having asked and
learned the reason, delivered himself of
the following sage observation: Right
ly are we called foolish for why ever do
you 60 to rest without your shoes on?"
1.-The doctors and their patients are
not forgotten in the old jests. There is
the case of one who, having had his uvula
operated upon, was hidden not to talk.
Accordingly, he desired his slave to re-
turn for him the salutations of those who
babe him goodmorrow; but, when this
was done, kept saying to each in the
fullness of his courtesy: Don't take it
as an afrent if my slave salutes you in
my stead; my medical man has hidden
me not to talk Another fool, being
sick, agreed with the doctor that he
would pay him fee if cured. So, when
his wife blamed him for drinking wine
when in hig b state of fever, he re-
torted, What! do you want ME to get
we'll then, and have to pay the doctor
his fee?'
"A man is told of who. seeing a ply
stefan coming, slipped out of sight. A
friend observing this asked the reason.
WELL said the other, ''tis some time
since have been sick, and really I'n
ashamed to be seen by him. Another
story is: "A doctor gave up Cum@an
patient. The patient recovered, and
shirked the doctor. On the latter in
quiring the reason, the explanation was
as follows: "Why, you said was dying,
and so I'm ashamed to be alive and
we'll"
among the old stories which are very
old, and still current in some shape, are
those of the order to stuff pitcher that
had served as bolster with feathers by
way of making it softer; that of the
simpleton who, wanting to cross the river
in hurry, preferred to ride into the
ferry-boat and not alight; that of the
man who, going to inquire for sick
friend, was told by his widow, Alas,
he's gomez and simply replied, If he
return, will you say l called?' That of
him who when called to task for usurp-
ing his hall-porter's functions, and saying
not at home with his own lips, pro-
ceeded to pick quarrel with his visitor
because he doubted his word, though he
would have believed his slaves; that of
the host whose guests enjoyed collared
head SO much that they vowed that they
would dine with him next day, upon
which he went to his butcher and ordered
another head off the same pig; which is
worthy to figure side by side with the
Irish spirit merchants advertisement,
that he had still on sale small quantity
of the whisky which was drank by his
late Majesty in Dublin"