davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
The Man WhoWas Not Elected

The candidate who didn't get enough
votes to elect him the other day is out
on the street now, wearing the look of an
injured man. AS he turns corner he
meets Jones, and Jones says:
"Ah Well, I'm sorry for YOU; I'd
have bet money that you would 20 in BY
live hundred majority"
My majority would have been twice
that it some bastard hadn't started the
rumor that l was opposed to education, u
replies Unsuccessful.
They lied about you, eh ?"
Lied ? Why, they told the most
outrageous falsehoods the human mind
could conceive I've got a clew, and
you look out for three or four suits for
damages !"
Turning the next corner he meets Da.
Wis, and Davis yels out:
Hello ! see you aren't dead vet
Well, I'm sorry for you | wanted to see
you 60 in"
And l should have been elected
straight as a string if my name on the
ticket hadn't been spelled wrong. That,
and that alone, hoored me-"
One block more and Smith rusbes Mt
him and shouts:
"Hang it but | thought you would
have waxed that fellow by three thou.
sand votes ?"
I'D have done it like shot," replies
Unsuccessful, "but the inspectors received
hundreds of illegal votes ard | was laid
out. This thing isn't through with, how.
ever l propose to carry it to the supreme
court"
AS he reaches the city hall the fourth
man holds out his hand and saws:
Well, you couldn't both be elected {;
but you did just run like quarter horse. y
L can tell you somcthin'," whispers
Unsuccessful.
Eth ! What ~
81 believe the ballot boxes were
stuffed against me-"
"No!"
= true as you live | think | can
put my hand on man who will swear to
1t, and l tell you I'll make it red-hot for
those inspectors !"
And the unsuccessful candidate is Ger.
tain in his own mind that he is great
martyr.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21

The atlantic Monthly for January is
an unusually rich number Opening
with long and brilliant iustallment Of
MIR. Howell's new novel. it includes arti.
Giles OF travel, history, literary criticism
and matters Of public interest. Of the
last named sort is Charles Francis
Adams Jr.'s, third railroad paper, en-.
titled The Revere Catastrophe" Eliza.
beth Stuart Phelps contributes an enter.
tanning account Of "Going South" which
is followed by charming essay from
Miss Harriet Prestou on Jacques Jas.
min," the Proveneal poet, including
graceful translations from his poems.
Few magazine papers can offer the fresh
touch and ripe literary skill here com.
bined. Mr. Allan B. Magruder tells
fiSG"' IT. BRsbSSps. a Saso3stIsf ds# 3wsttIssff
gives very origina and startling short
story, "One of the Thirty Pieces; !" and
MIR. Whittier contributes a poem of sin.
gula: loveiness, called Sunset on the
Bearcamp.' The Mafusi of Sicily" is
curious account of brigandage in that
island, 1t is followed by chapter of
Mrs. kemble's "Old Womans Gossip" :"
the photographed interest of which is
heightened by the insertion Of some let.
ters written by her in youth Oliver
Wendell Holmes adds to the list some
witty verses, "a Familiar Letter" to as.
piring poets, and Mr. Howells reviews in
short paper "Four New Books of
Poetry" Besides all this we have poems
from Aldrich, Maurice Thompson, Mrs.
Piatt and Mrs. Moulton, and the editorial
departments, which contain reviews Of
Stedman's "Victorian Poets" General
Boyntons book on Sherman, an interest.
ing account OF Education in the West.
orr S'"sc~." 81 ---.L .,L.. .u.ut..
This number of the Atlantic begins the
thirty. seventh volume of the magazine,
and more abundant and promising open.
ing it would be difficult to devise.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21

Simpkins had been to rattle. lilo
started in boldly and after few tips of
the box succeeded in winning very
scraggy bird, but it had cost him about
three times as much as a good one,
bought at the store. His winning so
elated him that he asked the boys to take
something on the fowl. They took some.
thing. Indeed, they did SO several times.
Simpkins finally started for home and en-
tering the room where his wife was sit.
ting up waiting for him, with a maudliu
smile he laid his trophy at her feet. She
looked at The object and then at Simpkins
Then she said, "Simpkins, you are drunk
and what are you doing with that olC
dead cat 2" Simpkins' friends haG
played little joke on him, that's ALL
Portland Argns.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
Church Sociables.

TIE trouble with church sociables,-
and it inheres in the very nature of
things,-is that they are apt to be over.
formal. And this formality springs from
the fact that they are not natural. The
New England conception of a church is
that it is a purely spiritual association,
and not social one at all. Hence the
"sociable" which the pastor has an.
nounced from the pulpit is a profound
embarrassment. The sociable is held in
the church ediice which they have al.
ways been taught to look upon as the
house Of God, built for his formal wor.
ship, and in which all the exercises were
to be of strictly religious character and
especially solemn.
The very atmosphere Of the place,
therefore, is destructive of that freedom
and ease oil manner, of that lightness
and brilliancy of conversation, which are
to sociable what the leaven is to the
loaf. Social life means jokes and play
full squibs repartee, flashes Of wit, the
play of humor, the pungent sarcasm, the
hearty laugh which has no reason in it
save the jovial spirits of the laughers !;
and to expect that people, especially
young people, are to feel at liberty to in.
dulge in these various pleasantries in the
very room where they have heard the
earnest prayer and solemn hymn, and
which is associated with The gravest
memories Of their lives, is asking too
much of human nature, The people are
not to blame if they are sober and stiff
and awkward distant and unsocial.
The fault lies in the place. There is
place to laugh as we'll as time; and
church is not place where a man
loves to explode rocket.like joke, or
where wag can tickle the company
with the dryness of his drollery. As
long as religion is preached as applicable
only to certain range of faculties it
will never elicit the hearty cooperation
Of the remaining faculties in man. Our
experience has been that q sociable held
in public hall or private house is worth
ten held in the rooms of the church. If
you want the people to be funny, to be
jolly, to be happy, meaning by these
terms what the average human means by
them, bring them together in a place
where these exercises do not seem desc
Grafton.
We have been delightfully."- surprised
to see how much good fellowship there
is in people if they only have an oppor.
tunity to show it, A man can't laugh
through tube twenty feet long. No
more can you get good human joke
through church door. Throw open the
doors OF your houses, friends, and ask
all the people to come down and see you,
throw Iormallty 10 tue uogs,and let triell.
como together in hearty, off.hand fash.
ion, and your rooms will be as full of
the pleasant murmurs Of happy fellow
ship, as grove in summer is full of the
murmur of leaves when the wind is co.
quoting with the branches. "Rejoice
eyermore - Golden Rule.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21

News reaches US that Theodore Thomas
has been chosen to take charge of the
musical part of the grand opening cere.
monies of the centennial. This choice
gives universal satisfaction, and guaran.
tees that this important department will
be conducted in manner worthy of the
occasion. RADIX.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
XL.
The Cross Roads.

Where the roads crossed we met,
My love and l;
In the near bay the ships
Tossed heavily.
Lamps were gone out on earth,
But those in heaven
Trembled, for two more hearts
That God had riven.
His accents broke the pause:
My tongue was tied;
He found last words to say:
My sobs replied.
Then he drew my whito face
Up to the light,
And snid. " Farewell, poor love,
Dear love, good night"
At the cross roads We kissed
| stood alone
His was the seaward road,
Mine led inc home.
lIe called, " l shall return .
| knew not sos
Not one in ten returns
of those that 60.
Dreary tho great world grew,
And the sun cold;
So young an hour ago.
| had grown old.
Our God made mo for him;
We loved each other;
Yet fate gave him one road.
And me another.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
CTATE NORMAL SCHOOL

RANDOLPH, VERMONT.
ABEL T.. LEANENWORTII, A. NJ, PRINCIPAL,
Assisted by Four Capable Graduates of Nor
NAL Schools from three States.
New Features for Fall Term, 1875. Capacity
Of building doubled. Model and Preparatory
departments added.
Fall Term opens fourth Tuoejay ia Ausuat.
Spring Term, first Tuesday in February.
SEND For CATALOGUE.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
I,'OR SALE.

Z ON DAIT.
! My store and stock of goods, the barn and
eighteen rods Of land connected with the store in
the village of Brooksvile, now offered for
sale, cheap, for cash The post-oflce is kept in
the building and can be had, without doubt, by
the purchaser. The store is only few rods from
the railroad station so that there is little expense
of transportation. HENRY JACKSON.
Brooksvile Vt, Aug H. 1875. 22-tf
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21

The people of Keokuk, Iowa. we're
badly sold the other day by the report
that General Grant was coming up the
river. The whole town rushed to the
levee. The crowd was immense. Gen.
eral Grant came, but he was on canvass
and in frame. Only picture.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
! J ERSONAL NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that all officers,
sailors, and soldiers, wounded, ruptured, or in
jured in the late rebellion, however slightly, arc
entitled to pension, and thousands of pensioners
entitled to an increased rate Apply imme-
diately through DR.. L. b. JACKSON,
Late Surgeon, U. s. Navy.
No. A New Chambers St., n. Y. H-ly
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
DOYAL ID. FARR,

EAST MIDDLEBURY, VERMONT.
IMPROVEMENT IN STOVE PIPE SHELVES,
Patented April 20, 1875.
This shelf is made fast on the stove pipe by 4
ba around the pipe and is easily raised or lower
ed on tho pipe as desired for convenience and i
the
CHEAPEST AND BEST SHELF IN USE.
State, county and town rights for sale.
ER-Agents wanted to canvass. 25-l3w
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21

( Il. SAYRE would inform the
/ Il, Buttor-makers of Middlcbury and vicin-
ty, and especially his old customers that he will
pay cash for Prime Butter at Beckwith Co.'S
Mondays and Saturdays hereafter, at the stand
formerly occupied by r. I. Bristol
Middlebury, May -. 1875. 10 u
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
An old Scotch woman once said to her

An old Scotch woman once said to her
pastor
=" Dear me, ministers max muckle
adoo aboot their hard work but what's
twa bits O. sermons in the week tae max
up? | could dot myself"
Weel, Janet" said the minister, good
humoredly. let's hear you try"
" Come, ava wi text, then" said
she,
He repeated with emphasis;
1t is better to dwell in the corner OIL
the housetOp than with brawlipg woman
and in a wide house
Janet fred up instantly;
What's that ye say, sir2 Dae yC
intend onything personal?"
Stop stop broke in her pastor
" You would never do for a minister"
And what for no 2" said she.
Because, Janet, you come over soor
to the application.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
DUSIN ESS.

d USINESS.
- The Downer, Bolton Allen mill will be
put in operation for saving custom logs, at once,
under the control of the propretcrs Bring in
your logs. The sash and door branch, continued
with tho MILL will also receive a jog,
MARTIN 4 TUPPER.
December 1874 40tf
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
Going into Business.

A bright German gentleman. retired
from business relates the following little
anecdote
"Going down to New York the other
night on the boat said he, II got chat.
ting with German acquaintance, and
asked him what he was doing"
"Vell," he replied, "shoost now | am
doing nodings, but | have made arrange.
ments to 60 into pizness."
"Glad to hear it. What are you 90.
ing into ?"
"Vell, goes into partnership nit a
man."
"Do you put in much capital 2"
No; doesn't put in any gapita."
Don't want to risk it, eh ~
"No; but | puts in de experience.
And he puts in the capital2"
Yes, dot is it. We goes into pizness
for dree years he puts in de capital,
and l puts in de experience. At de end
Of de dree years ! will have de capital
and he will have de experience.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21


How many wretched homes in our
land How many heart. broken invalids
Life with many signifies mere onerous
existence. All are subjected to disease,
but when health is removed the hope is
nearly gone out. Sickness is usually in.
Cured through exposure or carelessness.
Especially is this true with those diseases
peculiar to woman. Through her own
imprudence and folly she is made to drag
out miserable existence-a source Of
annoyance and anxiety to her friends, and
any thing but comfort and pleasure to
herself. Exposure to the cold at times
when she should be most prudent, and
n,orr,ont are hath 10Th ;,h fIntfoI iI"; causes of
many of the maladies from which she suf.
fers. Gradually the bloom leaves her
cheeks, her lips grow ashy white, her
vivacity departs, she continually expert
ences feeling of wearness and general
languor, and altogether presents ghostly
appearance. What does she need
Should she take some stimulating drug,
which will for the time make her feel
BETTER" or does her entire system de-
mand reparation? ? She requires some.
thing which not only will restore to health
the diseased organs, but will tone aud in
vgorate the system. DR.. Pierce's Fa-
vorite Prescription will do this. 1t i'm.
parts strength to the diseased parts,
brings back the glow Of health, and re-
stores comfort where previously there was
only suffering.
Every invalid lady should send for
"The Peoples Common Sense Medical
Adviser" in which over fifty pages are
devoted to the consideration Of those d.
seases peculiar to women. 1t will be
sent, postpaid. to any address, for 81 so
Address, II. V. Pierce, NJ. ID Worlds
Dispensary, Buffalo, N. Y. Agents
wanted to sell this valuable work.
How THEY DO IT IN MISSISSIPPI. - l
witnessed many strange scenes at the
polls aud round about among the crowd,
This sort of thing was repeated often by
men who were supplied with money for
the purpose. A man would select his
darkey and operate on him in this wise !:
Uncle, have YOU voted ~
No. sab"
Going to vote p
Yes, sab"
How p
"The Publican ticket, sab"
Cant l persuade you to vote the
, Democratic ticket p
! No, sah."
You ale afraid to vote it, are you p
, No, sab not Bit"
? I'll bet two dollars you are afraid to
step up there aud vote the Democratic
D ticket
D ME 'fraid No, saa dis niger
amt 'fraid be amt the skeery sort he
: amt"
Well, I'll bet two dollars you are
afraid to do it -
3 9" Put up your money. I'll take dai
bet. sir I'm no skeery niger"
+. The money is handed to a third party
5 The negro is given a Democratic ticke
and accompanied to the polls by whit
t man, who sees that it is voted. Then thu
a negro returns and is paid the "wager'
] he has won jackson Correspondents
of the Cincinnati Commercial
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21

4" You'll build the fires or I'll be a
widow" is the way the Fat Contributors
wife talks.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
NOTICE.

OIlCE.
y The dwelling houses and lot belonging to
tho estate Of the late Alanson Dustin row Of
terel for sale or rent For terms inquire of
l5tf II. G.. LANGW0RTIff, Admr
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21

A lofty position-the top Of an edit
orial staff.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21

Singular-to see a garden walk.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-12-21
BUSINESS CARDS.

II Il. SMITH, Attorney and Coun-
SLs sellor at Law. Office over Pos, ,uflice,
Middlebury, Vt.
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23

Billings: "Hail spring, butuous virgin, 1000 years old and upwards, hale and hearty old gal, welcome to Prescott and parts ad- jacent. Now the birds jaw, now the cattle holler, now the pigs scream, now the geese warble, now the Rats sigh, and. nature is frisky; the virtuous bed bug and the hobby Cockroach are singing Yarkee Doodle and eomin' Thru the Rhi. Now may be seen the muskeeter, that gray outlined critter of des- tiny, solitary and alone, examining his last years bill, and now may be heard, with the naked ear, the hoarse Shanghigh bawling in the barnyard.m
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23

s. GENERAL FREMoST.-W. Frank Stewart, in proposing the name of General John c. Fremont as an honorary member of the Pacific Coast Pioneers, on last thursday night, de- liyered neat address, in which he referred 10 General Fremont as almost the first Pioneer of the Pacific Coast, and passed high en- Z comium upon his courage and enterprise in exploring the Great Basin. He also reviewed the cause of his trial in France and bis sen- tepce to the galeys, in his absence, pro- ceedings which has no parallelin American law His remarks were received with great ap- spisuse.f It requires a notice of two weeks before vote can be taken on the admission of new member, and at the end of that time Genei al Fremont will be duly elected. Vir- ginia Chronicle.
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23

REV. FATHER WALKER, an Irish Jesuit priest is pastor of St. Lawrence Catholic Church, in Eighty-Fourth street. In an nouncing on last Sabbath morning that the Sundays collection would be for the benefit of the parochial schools, he took occasion to denounce the public school system in the most bitter manner. $ Woe be the parents" |" shouted he in the manner of one hurling anathemas, "woe be to the parents who send their children co these public schools Woe be to those who secretly favor them in their hearts! I would not like to be in their places on the day of judgement. The pub lie schools are the nurseries of vice. They are Goddess schools, and they who send their children to them cannot expect the mercy of God. They ought not to expect the sacra- ments of the Church in their dying moments
 hope you and will live to see the day when i. will be understood that parents who commit this great sin will be refused the sac raments of the Church. What let them die without the rites of the Church ? you will ask Yes, say so. l would as soon admin ister the sacraments to a dog as to such Cath olcs. Did not Jesus Christ suffer one of His apostles to die without the rites of the Church in dispairi So would 1 let these wretched Catholics perish. Catholics! They are nd Catholics. They are Catholics of the pot-house politician stripe-men who deceive and betray the poor, ignorant, innocent Irish emigrants when they arrive in this country; men who make their poor countrymen, when they are only a few months in this country, perure themselves to become citizens; men who have no faith or charity in their hearts. You may say, 'Ah, but know good men and women, good priests and bishops good fath- CTS and mothers, who were brought up in the. public schools True, but they are the rare exceptions, one in a thousand or ten thou sand. You will say also, But some of the teachers are Catholics' What of it2 What do they know about the vice all around them, the contamination and villainy2 They don't know 1t; they never see it. But we priests know it|TN. Y. Times.
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23

FATHER WALKER AND THE PUBLIC SCHooLs.-We have reason to know that the violent attack upon the public schools which Father Walker made in his sermon last Sum- day offended the Catholics of the city as much as it has astonished the protestants. But if there were any doubt that all intelligent classes indignantly repudiate his startling doctrines, the letters we print to-day should remove it, while at the same time should convince the over jealous priest that this is not healthy climate for his peculiar theol- ogy. Some of our correspondents point out the indisputable fact that the true harm done by Father Walker is to the Church be pre- :shds te defend, but which VIC hope he mis- represents. There could be nothing more n- jnfious to Catholicism in this country than to have the appointment of an American car sdinal accompanied by an apparent movement of the clergy against the system of free pop ular education. The people would naturally ..then oppose as menace an event which they . < 1ow regard as an honor. 3E Sl8K6
 Without any desire to be too severe on Fakhes WsIkeF, we feel that it is only proper a. toosdd that in such case as this, where an uxyusrriABLE COTTAGE has been commit- te0i upon the whole community, there is only one AdsQnate afonement-that is, sn apology i. <ffnn the o5ender as public as the oiense. s1fSAh s refused by FssSer Walker, then the responsibility is transferred from him to the Church, which hy silence would seem 10 jus tifyshis roufses-l New York Hersid, March I7th.
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23
NOTICE.

To Herman Bendell and J. W. Fleeson owners in the South Extension of the Tiger lode located in Bradshaw District. Yayapai County. A. T., known as the Bean Bowers Company: You are hereby notified that if you do appear the place of business of G. w. Bowss Ghe Company's agent. at Fort Whipple. T., within ninety (90) days from the the date hereof and ray your respective proportions of the expense incurred in aount done said mine required by law. the under signed will claim forfeiture ot your interests in said mine in accordance with the mining laws in force.
 ED. F. BOWERS. Prescott A. T.. January % 1875 jn26
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23
NOTICE.

To L. s. Jeuks, A. Wade and J. W Tower, owners in the Loreua Lode (silvsr bearing), favaps county, Arizona; - You are hereby notified that if you do not appear within ninety (90) days from the date hereof and pay proportion of he incurred in the amount Of work said mine required by law, the under signed will claim forfeiture of your interest in said mne in accordance with the mining laws now in force.
 c. A. LUKE Prescott. February le 1875. felS 3m
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23

A man went into drug store, and says be-: "Iwish you would give me some Nancy soda" !" Don't you mean Sal Soda?" says the clerk. "Wall, now, I don't know but you're right; l knew twas girls name," said the searcher |. for Sal --
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23

Henry Wilson, they say, was once quoting Trumbull, in the Senate, when the latter cor
 rected him. "Well if you didn't say that" said Wilson, "you came within an ace of it." "Sir," said Trumbull, in loud voice. "What does godly Puritan like you know about an
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23
N or IC F.

To Thomas Wallace. NJ. H. Smith, William Holden J. F. Nesmith Saml Lubeck, T. A. Tablet any other person deriving their title by deed from the original locafors is the Overland ledge lode vein situated in Wallapa Mining District, Mohave county. A. T.:
 You hereby notified that if you do within ninety days from the service of this notice pay the undersigned Mineral Park Nohave county A. T.. your proportional part of the expenses incurred aid mine location required by the COpgrs ssonal law approved May To- 1872 the undersigned will claim forfeiture of your n- terest in said mine. VIM TOWLE,
 JAMES r. BULL. Mineral Park March l2 1875 mrl2 3m
Arizona weekly miner., 1875-04-23
N Q T | c E |.

To F. ". Shoholm his legal representatives, owner in she Davis lode Hassayampa Disnict. Yavapa county, Arizona Territory You hereby notified that if you dc appear within ninety 90) days from the date here of and pay your proportion of the expenses incurred in developing said mine the undersigned will claim for feiiure according to law of your interest in said mne
 J. N. REGARDLESS. Prescott February 26 1875. Jm-