The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1875-12-16
MISCELLANY.
VAGARIES. OF VAGABONDAGE.
(!rom the Chicago Times.)

But not infrequently the 'vag," intent
on ''making rifae," will "put up job"
and sometimes a pair Of them will travel
together for the better working Of some
scheme. A couple of fine ones have con.
coctcd capital dodge, that keeps them
on the high road to liquor and free
lunches about all the time.
They are hard.looking crowd. Their
tattered clothes are of the thinnest. and
to keep out the night chills one has
about quarter part Of shawl-of the
kind that were worn "a
dozen years age-over his shoulders.
while the other jauntily sports the cape
Of ali old light blue army overcoat. Each
affects ''Eids'' of which there is little moro
than the wrist band left. As simple en-.
titles, experience has taught them that
no saloon keeper will long tolerate their
presence. No sooner has one made his
way to the store, and comfortably en-.
sconscd himself, than the proprietor
comes around, taps him gently on the
shoulder, and quite peremptorily init
mates that this is no place for loungers."
This sort Of treatment coming upon
them every hour Of the day, and keeping
them continually on the move, finally
grew monotonous, and after comparing
qualifications they determined to 60 in
pairs whenever good fortune kept them
out Of the bridewell or poor house to.
gether, and as they were likely to get in
together, being always in each others
company, they had fair prospects Of com.
ing out together for the working of their
little game.
Then
THEY HAD EEHEARsALs,
studied each Others vulnerable points.
which were legion, and having improved
their vocabulary Of billingsgate until
they had reached IN almost artistic state
of perfection, entered upon their mis-.
sion.
As has been intimatcd, when vcnturing
into saloon alone, they could never
gain foothold, &nd the thing to do was
to make themselves so agreeable as to in.
sure federation. The little play decided
upon between them required certain pre-.
requisites, One was that there should be
two entrances to the place, At opposite
ends, and that there should be good]y
company present for whose edification
tho scene might be enacted. As to the
crowd, Chicago saloons are generally
pretty we'll patronized, and so far as tho
other essential is concerned, old time
temperance laws, which may be
again enforced ut any moment, have
made two entrances, one in front and the
other at the side or rear, almost 4 neces.
sity to paying existence. Now let US
observe the 1,odus operandi Of tho
"vags' :
They have rtconnoitered the position,
found q front and side door, and = peep
through a crevice in the blinds has also
convinced them that goodly company
Of hail fellows we'll met ION time" arc
assembled. Nothing could be moro
apropos. Quickly each flies to his posi-.
ton, and simultaneously one enters at the
front and the other ut the rear. Naturally
enough the attention of the company Is
attracted, as it would be, if only casually,
by any rev arrivals; but such company
as this. is$ Sure to receive more than q
passing notice, as each ambles up to the
counter from an opposite direction. They
arc a pair that could play
TIE OLD ':Buxs,''
the ':msjor'' and the '.jadge'' IN the bar.
room scene in Exit, the Arkansas Trav.
oler," to the life, by simply personatins
themselves. To the natural grotesoue-
ness Of their appearance, they have
added feature or two by assuming pc.
culier ambling gait, and sway of the
body that is a cross between the sly for
ward movement of the proverbial stage
"Artful Dodger," and tho equally stage.
fed hip movement Of Jack Tar. The as.
scmbled company, far from suspecting
collusion, cannot but DO struck By the
similarity Ut Appearances and give vent
to their establishment by Explanations OF
surprise. This is critical moment. II
tho proprietor is 4 decisive sort Of chap,
and won't stand nonsense under any cir.
sumstances, he may cry out, Here, git
,at Of this before there has been time
for even the opening speech, and that
being the case, the whole play is spoiled.
and the pair must stink out AS best they
can. This critical moment is fully apprc-
ciated by them, and they lose no time in
overcoming it by Immediately entering
into action. .5,>' - - *!e:I ~ s.. =
= : While those assembled about the bar
look first ct one: and then the other, tho
'svags'' solemnly approach the centre Of
attraction, and not until they ara no more
than six or eight feet apart do they pre-.