The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1875-12-03
VnrIous Matters.

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A pail to cover all that summer knew;
Although like some fair woman in de-
Whom pale consumption hourly wastes
away
Upon her waning features winter chill
Wears dreams Of beauty that seems love-
Yet surely winter comes with biting
breath
And strips the woods and numbs the
scene with death;
Then all is still Ger wood and field and
plain,
As naught had been, and naught would
be again."
Nothing so soon mars holiday as
care.
Wit gives you a nod in passing
but with humor you are at home.
1t is suggested that the hard mon
ey favored by His Holiness is the
hard earned meney of servant girls.
On train of the Maine Central
railroad q few days since. ticket
was taken up that had been issued
10 years ago.
A Nebraska Jury has decided that
a husband has no right to whip his
wife with a stick and then sprinkle
her with red pepper.
"Harry, cannot think" says Dick.
"What makes my ankles grow so thick ~
'You do not ecollect," says Harry,
SHOW great a calf they have to carry"
Mr.. Coos, a Galveston man, is de-
clared to have become, in his some
what extensive married life, the IA
Their of full sixty little GOOses.
Patrick" said an old gentleman
to his servant, "we are all creatures
of fate" "Well, if it wasn't for
fate, how the divil could we walk,
sure 2"
A Wisconsin editor does not like
the extravaganza of costly baby car
riages, because when he was an in
FAINT they used to haul him around
by the hair of his head.
Never insult a man because he is
poor i'll purse or raiment; for be-
meath a ragged coat it may be that
muscle lies concealed that could put
a head on the oldest man in the bus
mess.
When a man has been hard at
work in an obscure way for years
and al length achieves success, nine
tenths of his acquaintance insult
him by offering congratulations on
his ''luck."
There are 1913 fewer saloons in
Michigan than there were a year
ago. Michigan whisky kills the
consumer too soon, aud thus cuts
off the demand and ruins the bust
ness.
A young lady asking a Williams
store, "Have you happy dreams 2"
was ast0nished when he replied,
'No, ma'am, I'm mostly troubled
with the nightmare"
In Providence and Worchester,
Mass, the price of milk has gone up
two cents a quart for the winter, but
our excellent system of water works
enables milkmen here to retail at
the old rates.-City Paper.
1t appears that this is going to be
an easy winter for the poor. There
has been a decline in the price of
back braids new dollar stores are
springing up all over the land; the
religious papers are offering every
encouragement in the way of chro-
mos, Snd an imitation coral necklace
can be bought for quarter. With
the necessities Of life thus placed
within her reach, no true hearted
woman will complain of the price
of coal.
The other day Vicksburg father,
finding it necessary to reprOVe his
son, gently said: "Don't stuff vict-
uals into your mouth that way, my
son George Washington didn't eat
after that fashion," The boy accept
ed the reprOof without comment,
after bordering for awhile, he re-
marked to himself: "And l don't
believe George Washington licked
his boy for finding a bottle of
whisky in the shed when he was
hunting for horse shoe, either!"
A rat which was caught and Sc
verely bitten by cat the other day,
IN Detroit, squeaisd so piteously
that two Ofi,s companions came out
of hole in the wall aud attacked
the common enemy with great saw
ageness. The Cat stood her gre nd,
and, with one paw on her captive,
made such desperate fight that
she soon drove the assaulting party
back to their hole wounded and in
confusion. She then calmly finish
ed her meal.
Abom, , o'clock the other morn
ing y 'rwiGh policeman found
mam siL'in% on the sidewalk. Nat
urally, he asked him what was the
matter. "Well." said the man, sad
ly, "my wife thinks l am drunk.
I've tried twice to get in at the
front door and she's put he out
both times, and my self-respect
won't allow me to try it again. So
Pm waiting till she's quieted down
a little, and then 1 think | can
crawl through the cellar window"
A young gentleman at Indianap-
oils recently procured the arrest of
his mistress for larceny. He had
lived with her for some time, and
had allowed her to take pair of
his boots and exchange them for
shoes for herself. Shortly afterward
he became engaged to q young lady
of good family, and to get rid of his
mistress had her arrested for steal
ing his boots. She was acquitted,
his betrothed repudiated him, and
he has been arrested on a double
charge of malicious prosecution and
open immortality, so that he does
not think that virtue is always it's
own reward.
Feeding Skim Mink TO Cows.
What to do with the skim milk IS
q troublesome question with butter