The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1875-01-14
For THE CITIZEN.
An Innocent Abroad.


Mr. EDITOR North Alabama is a
great country-Over the left 50 l had
often heard, but had never believed till
went and saw, AMI was convinced ;
and now that | know a heap of things
didn't use to know, will, for the ben
ent OF the many happy thousands who
peruse your paper weekly, jot down a
rev recollections of a recent eXcurSio
into that Heaven favored cline
One day in the month OF December
last, l started. When | got 20 the bar
rens, and left Tennessee away in the
rear, began TO feel that had left more
hog ami hominy behind me than
would see till | returned; but hoping
Tor the best, / proceeded, an1 all that
day as logged along, / tried TO make
myself believe l was in a fine country :
l didn't have any desire 10 think lightly
of our sister State; everything [ had
ever heard or read about charity to
wards one another, came back TO nv
mind; l tried to put my christianity
into practice, and right braveIy | did
pictured out the section / was TO visit,
perfect EldoradO, where molasses
ponds and batter-cake trees abOunded /:
where milk and honey filed every spare
nook; where the gobblers were fat and
spinning wheels and bee-gums were in
situations in every family; where the
children went to sunday-schooI and the
men bought crockery for their wives
without grumbling; where the ladies
read the magazines and soft-sOap was
no trouble To make; where the men
renovated brides and took their child
rem to the shows; where fatted calves
were plentiful and prodigal sons scarce 4:
where the ladies wore sun-bOnnets to
church and kept buttons sewed on their
husbands shirts; in short, il was love
ly place. But alas my gOurd wilted !!
again the mutability of human hopes
was demonstrated. My feelings cannot
be described. On one day a man may
feel Ike the morning star or big sun
flower, and on another, like cold dog
Tray" his heart may feel full of music
and love; again, like banquet hall de-
serted; on one day he imagines he hears
sweet music floating back from the dim
vistas of the spirit land, but he awak-
ems from his dream to hear the cluck of
''settin' hen or a scOlding woman.
AS said before, | had painted "three
dollar chromos" ia my Imagination
but when the horTib bic reality broke up
on me, L felt like brOken-hearted milk
man. l found North Alabama no such
an Elysian field, and my disappoint-
menC was eXcruciating. Perhaps a good
deal of my present melancholy may he
credited to the following:
was compelled to stop over night at
the house of an old farmer who posses
sed three handsome daughters. 1t was
Christmas times and frOlics were nu-
merous. Two of the girls went to one
that night, and the other remained pre-
tending to be sick, but believe she
wanted to stay and talk to me. But
this is immaterial, suffice it to say, had
"A good time with her. Bedtime was
announced, and l was shown to room
that l didn't like a particle, because l
saw female toggery hanging around the
walls. and other things which whisper
ed that this was the girls room. and
might cause me to get into trouble.
This thought haunted me; my sleep
was disturbed. At last heard the girls
One remained at the gate
with her beau, while the other
came boiling through the house, up
stairs, and great gOOdnessi into my
room. L lay there and trembled: the
began to form on my brow
finally l heard her throw her clothes on
a chair; she gently turned down the
covers, and said, clay over Sarah" l
rolled over and tucked the end of a
quilt in my mouth to keep from crying,
but bless the luck the old bed creaked.
and the old man, jumped from his bed
down stairs, and yelled eXcitediy, "Cau-
dala y "Sir, answered she. ''That
id Tennessee travellers in that bed -
With yell that must have been intend
ed for ''hOw did he get thar, angels ?''
she sprang from the couch, seized her
buds, and LETT me all alone, to reflect
upon the trials and disappOintments
that beset our pathway.
Ii any of your readers, MIR. Editor,
think they could go through such a
scene and not feel downhearted, all
right, let them try it. As ] said before,
this accounts for my leep detection.
do feel melancholy, and haven't l
right to? The rest of my stay failed to
Obliterate the bitter memory of that
night. l saw nothing to cheer my soul.
| returned sadder and wiser. | feel
like had been to horse race, bet and
lost; or again, if you will pardon so
many extravaganza expressions, | feel
like l have rolled down a hill and
bumped up against a stump or two.
Farewell, North Alabama! May
your fair women and brave men grow
iairer and Drawer may your honey grow
sweeter and your milk less watery; may
your mud grow no deeper, and your
taller, and finally, may
things change so that 1 will enjoy my
self more the next time visit you.
NJ. TWAIN, JR.