The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1875-04-08

Maid" he, the poet, as he has been in
formed by gifted and discerning
friends, has shown himself to be equal
to Tennyson in sweetness and feeling.
And be volunteers the further infor-
nation "that the severe tenderness of
that chaste moroccan, Heart Sobs,
moves all hearts to sobful tears" The
editor finds himself less edited by the
by the ''sobful tears" and he falls into
some profound reflections over the
new discovery developed in that last
idea. However valuable that discov-
cry may be from physiological point
of view, he has no time to dwell upon
it for he knows that there is vast
and noble army OF equally learned
poets and philosophers marching on
him through the mail bags, from every
quarter of the habitable earth and he
knows that every individual of this
army is bursting with wisdom equally
deep and improving. So, in that un-
feeling and cruel spirit which ever an
imates the ruthless editor everywhere
throughout this cold and heartless
world. he filings these sweet children
of genius far into the desslate depths
of the return mail.
Hour after hour, vainly seeking all
escape, he tolls through this Egyptian
labyrinth Of horrent manuscripts,
whose profound darkness is made
more fearful still by few feeble glim-
mers of common sense and just as he
is about to give up all hope, before the
conviction that he is rapidly sinking
into the hopeless imbecility that per-
vades the air, he catches dim CLEAN
of distant daylight, into which he
presently emerges hoping to find ten
minutes rest and peace. But here,
peering at him from the southern mail,
and frowning on him from the north
err, and glaring at him in the eastern,
and looming portentous from the
western, is vast concourse of highly
intelligent ladies and gentlemen who,
by means of some diabolical enchant-
ment, nave got themselves turned in
to the most prodigious sphinxes of
this or any other age, and with coun-
vincible obduracy they PROFOUND the
most inconceivable cOnundrums about
the most preposterous subjects. One
of these sphinxes says that he has had
a tremendous dispute with another
young sphinx, who is of an ignorant
and contentious turn of mind, about
the great question of whetherZOroaster
(who it appears was a celebrated poll
tician and first president of the board
of fire commissioners of ancient Per-
sia) wasn't afflicted with slight deaf
ness in the right ear. The learned
sphinx explains that the ignorant
sphinx obstinately maintains that the
right ear was as sound as silver dol
lar, but that the left ear was little
touched. The editor will please settle
this dispute by next mail, is the learn
ed sphinx's conclusion. Another
wishes to be informed in what year did
Benjamin Franklin discover thunder !?
A charming young lady sphinx wants
to know if Shelly, the poet, was in the
habit of parting his hair behind, and if
he really wore such disgraceful shirt
collars as the engravings pretend. An
other, with the solemn and sepulchral
air befitting an appeasable sphinx
whose lofty mind dwells upon such
sublime subjects, demands immediate
information as to whether you, sir, as
All editor, after mature reflection upon
all the historic ic-psychological facts in
your possession, have or have not
arrived at the conclusion that woman,
in the prehensile powers of her intel
lectuality, is vastly superior to the alb
surd animal called man, and if not,
why not?
After multitude of equally stupe-
flying Chinese puzzles the tireless edit
or must sit down and compose num-
berless editorials OF interminable
length and supernatural brilliancy.
Then, if he has talent for sleep, he
may go home to bed, where his turb--
ulent dreams will be invaded by Sc
lect assortment Of choice ghosts. Yet
after all this every young man in
America who can spell reasonably
oil rnhn1xy an1
oyer the conviction that he has been
cruelty detrauded out of his just in
heritance, which, he thinks, is an ed
itOrial chair.