Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-07-08
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

SPEAKING about frigid June weather,
old Massachusetts folks tell about four
inch snow-storm June Is, 1912, when the
ground was frozen an inch deep.
THE King of Burmah has thrown up the
sponge He heard how Koffee's cake was
doughed, and said to England: " Hit one
Of your own size"
AN American has starteda lodge Of Sons
Of Malta in Japan, and the old Japs just
laugh themselves almost to death to see
the candidates tossed in blanket.
A PRINTERS devil says his lot is a hard
one; at his boarding house they charge
him with all the pie they can't find, and
at the office they charge him with all the
pi they do find.
WHEN Delaware boy picks a lemon
off a street stand, even though it is only
q two-cent lemon they jail him for thirty
days in order to strike blow at the boys
all over the world.
ASTRONOMERS have just found out that
it isn't but %, 100000 miles to the sun, but
100000 miles on journey Of this sort
to the old figures.
BosToN, populous Boston, may properly
be described as the town IN which hun
dreds of thousands daily live and move
and have their beans "-NeD York Com
maercjal AdcertjSer.
4 GIRL covered her face with both her
hands when she thought he was about to
kiss her. then she complained: oh, my
hands are too small; there is room for 800
vet between them"
A WASHINGTON I'd. CO. man writes to
the Not5on0I Repu5l5ca1 complaining of
"the water we drink" He has been exam
ming it under the microscope, and says
there's millions in it"
A NEW YORK servant girl, out on the
harbor in a boat the other day for the pur-
pose of committing suicide, saw red
headed sailor, fell in love with him, and
was married instead of drowned
A DISEASE called the "mad itch' has
appeared among the cattle that run on the
commons near Memphis, Tenn. 1t in
cites them to such playful pastime as toss
ing men, women and children into the air
A PHILADELPHIA baker has informed
the police that he has an irresistible desire
to bake his wife, and they have locked
him up. Philadclphians now pull their
loayes apart and look for baked bakers
wives
JENNIE JUNE thinks that the days of
nonsensical bonnets are past. You're old
enough, Jennie, to know better. To re
form those bonnets permanently you must
cut off the heads that wear 'em-sSt Louis
Rcpu5z5con.
THAT was an exceedingly uncompli- |
mentary young man who, after paying at
tention to a damsel for some months, on
discovering her one morning sans herfalse !
teeth, remarked: Goodness gracious!
Your mouth looks like railroad depot
after all the trains have Left
JUDGE HUNT, Of the United States Su
preme Bench, has decided, in the case of
the United States CS. George Hughes, of
New York, that testimony taken from
books a2s papers of the defendant seized
by the Government shall be admitted, I'M
Cler the statute which authorizes the use of
evidence elected " from the party as a wit
ness"
: WILLIAM, > observed a Danbury woman
to her husband, Mrs HoIcomb feels
pretty badly since the loss of her child,
and wish you would drop over there and
see her. You might say that all flesh is
grass-that we've all got to so the same
way; and see if she is going to use her
dripping pan this afternoon. ''-Dan5u7y
Noes
THE iailer of Hartford, Conn, was re-
warded the other day by an enjoyable
demonstration from his prisoners The
spokesman of the party that waited upon
him, in a voice remulous with suppressed
gratitude, said: 9 Mr.. Belden, in behalf OF
theother inmates of the institution, come
to thank you for the improved quality of
the hash"
A CAss street boy of tender years yester
day entered the house with a bic pair of
pincers in his hand and when his amazed
mother inquired the use he meant to make
Of them he replied: /" I've got a pin-dart,
haven't I?' . Yes" We'll, if / shoot
it into the baby we can draw it out with
these pincers and not have to call a doc
tor, he continued, wearing a smile Of vic
tory.-Detr0it Free Press.
4 CENSUS enumerator in Albany asked
an old maid her age: 9 Thirty-one," she
replied. "Ohor' calculated the question
T, incredulously; are you married?''
: No, sir" said she. 'Ahan' was his
second exclamation. The aged maiden
glanced over his shoulder into the book,
saw that he had put her down at fifty
one, and an instant later he had more
scratches and less hair than when he en-
tered.
AT SAN Francisco, the other afternoon,
lima De Murska appeared before large
audience in concert. She had begun to
sing the mad scene from Lucia" when
two little black-and-tan puppies escaped
from their keeper behind the scenes, ran
on the stage, and chased each other around