The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-01-14
About Giving Up.

About Giving Up.
THERE are talks and talks; / know by |
instinct that you do not like to be talked |
to. You think at once of scolding or |
lecturing, in which senses the expression
is sometimes used.
Now. being talked with is quite diff
ferent thing. am of the opinion that
if parents and friends would oftener talk
with little people simply, inteliigently,
listening to what the little people have
to say in reply, it would be much better
than to always reprove and admonish
them from sort of grown-up pinnacle
where they are not allowed to answer
back.
To answer an older person saucily is of
course very wrong; but to answer
thoughtfully is one of the best things
child can do, for it leads her to think for
herself. The long words and set phrases
child hears in the form of advice and
reproof are apt to go in at one ear and
out at the other; but the little talk in
which she herself takes part is sure to
make an impression.
If older persons were habitually to
make more patient and loving effort to
find out just how children think and feel,
and more respect was manifested for
these thoughts and feelings, which, if
wrong, ought to be corrected, and if
right encouraged and helped young and
old would live together in far greater
harmony and to better purpose.
Now, what want to do is, in fancy, to
gather bevy of you girls-Meg and
Fanny and Bess and Ruth and Jane, and
as many more as choose to come-and
chat with you pleasantly on various sub
jects. And first about giving up"
Giving up is not a pleasant thing, and al
ready can see pouting lips and frown-
ing brows. 1t is quite like dose of bit
ter medicine, which leaves bad taste in
the mouth; but the medicine must be
taken if we would get well of a fever,
live at all happily in the world
Obstinacy is not always the hard, re-
.---,s- -,.-o a. appropriateness 40 pup
ularly supposed to be. Sometimes it
smiles, and speaks in a low, soft voice,
and seems at glance to be very amiable
and lovely; still it persists, and carries
its point in the end, no matter how much
others may suffer the consequences
This is the worst kind of willfulness to
deal with, and in reality just as bad as
the coarser variety
l remember once meeting two little
sisters at place of summer resort. For
convenience will call them Harriet and
Lucy. Everyone said: "What a charm.
ing, gentle girl Lucy isr' but hardly
person could be found to speak well of
poor Harriet. Lucy was always correct
and proper; she could play the piano and
read some dramatic pieces with very
good effect. Harriet was rather quick
tempered, laundering and impulsive. She
had no accomplishments, and was an un-
fortunate child. always meeting with &C
cidents. People did not sympathize with
her troubles; but if Lucy SO much as
scratched her finger she was petted and
condoled with.
My room happened to be next to the
one occupied by these two girls, and as
the wall was thin without trying or wish
ing to listen, | could not help finding out
that the sweet, correct, e.egant Lucy
made poor Harriet's life burden to her.
She tormented her sister in her soft,
heartless voice, SO that the other never
had her way in anything, but gave up to
Lucy when she ought to have resisted
and claimed her rights. Here there was
no virtue in giving up; and Harriet,
made miserable by Lucy's nagging and
sly willfulness, grew reckless, and hid
herself from those around her, while
Lucy got the credit of unusual sweetness
and amiability.
tell you this little story to show you
that one child ought not to yield to the
tyranny of another; that soft and gentle
manners do not always accompany
the best disposition; and how much |
cruel injustice can be done in families |
by sslfishness and obstinacy
1t seems to me l hear some little girl |
complaining that children are often
forced to give up when they do not
know the reason why-when, in fact |
there can be no reason but the caprice |
of their elders.
1t is very true that reason ought, if |
possible, to be rendered when the de-
mand is made. But this cannot always
be done. In every family a great deal
must be sacrificed to peace. The peace
OF home is such beautiful thing that
as soon as girl comes to reflect and
sees how much depends on giving up in
little things, if she is right minded and
true hearted, she will be glad to do her
small part toward SO lovely an end by
cheerful submission.
The big sister yields sometimes to the
little ore not because there is any right
or justice in it, but because the little
sister cannot understand these things.
and must be humored in order to be
kept quiet. The big sister is rewarded
by the compliment paid to her sense.
There are many ways Of giving up or
to do SO; and / am sorry to
say that ] have only seen few girls
who knew how to give up beautifully, SO
that one admired them more in this act
than any other of their lives. Some sulk
and pout and make everyone about
them uncomfortable by their bad mode
Of submission. ! have seen girls who
yielded, but did it like an angry servant
who goes out of the house and slams the
door behind her.
We may submit in act but not in fact.
The spirit has NO lot or part in such
mode Of giving up. The heart may be
very hard and stubborn while the BODY
yields to what Is demanded. All the
good influences Of giving up are thus
ost upon the life. Learn, dear girls. to
vield gracefully, for . submissive spirit
2 alone acceptable unto God.-Fyvm
dagsssa Larvefs Tall VITA Girl,