Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-02-03
Wit and EEnnOr.

dice.
DOMESTIC ''sauce" is kent in family
jars.
A FRIEND indeed is one who is not in
need
The bump OF destructi7eness- rail
way collision.
CHAIRS should not be covered with
silk, but satin.
HALF the DISCOUNTS of life result
from getting tired of ourselves.
BENEvoLENCE is the cream on the
| milk of human kindness.
PEOPLE Of good sense are those whose
opinions agree with ours.
FACE all things; even adversely is
polite to q mans face.
PASSION always lowers great man.
but sometimes lowers little ones.
STYLE is everything for sinner, and
q little Of it won't hurt saint.
Mosr people are Like eggs-too full of
themselves to hold anything else.
TIME is money, and many people pay
their debts with it.
WE have made justice luxury of
civilization.
IT is easier to be harmless dove than
a decent serpent.
HUMoR must fall out Of a mans mouth
like music out of bobolink
IT is little trouble to a craven image
to be patient, even in fly time.
OLD age increases us in wisdom-and
in rheumatism.
PLEASURE is like treacle. Too much
of it spoils the taste for everything.
NECESSITY is the mother of invention,
but Patent Right is the father.
BEWARE of the man with ha!f-shut
eyes. He is not dreaming.
No MAN is healthy jester unless he
has been nursed at the breast of wis
dom.
MEN nowadays are divided into
slow Christians and wide-aWake sin
ners.
MANNER is a great deal more attrac-
tive than matter, especially in mon
key.
ADVERSELY to man is like training
to pugilist. It reduces him to fight
ing weight.
The height Of mpudence-Taking
refuge from the rain in an umbrella
shop.
A RAW clam poultice is the latest
amateur medical p-raw-ciamation in
cases of diptheria.
By an Irishman-Why is a storm,
when it is clearing up, like castiga-
ton? Sure, an amt it bating2
SOME men marry to get rid of them
selves, and find that the game is one
that two can play at, and neither win.
AN impassioned swain, under bad
spell, wrote: 'Mary, [ love the we'll. y
She replied that she was glad that he
didn't drink liquor.
"THE rude forefathers of the ham
LETT are not known In Utah, but there
are often found rude mothers in a fam
lily.
REALLY very awkward, indeed Den
tist-" Come, my little dear, and sit on
my knee" Little Dear-tNo, shant,
unless mamma does too p
WITH all the talk about naval staff
rank, no one seems to have considered
the claims of the common sailor, who is
entitled to the foremost place.
A TRAVELLING correspondent write
that the St. Johns River, of which
Canadians talk SO much, is nothing but
a blight from the mouth of the st. Law
renee.
A RURAL paper expressed the opinion
that the colleges have already gone
crazy over the coming regatta, and got
the reply back that they were still in
possession of their Faculties.
OLD bachelor UNCLE Well, Charles,
what do you want now?"s Charley
ooh, [ want to be rich" Uncle
erich Why so?'' Charley" Because
[ want to be petted, and ma says you
are an old fool, and must be petted be-
cause you are rich. But it's a great
secret, and I mustn't tell -
"YoUR handwriting is very bad in
deed" said gentleman to friend
more addicted to boating than to study;
you really ought to learn 10 write bet
ter" cay, ay," replied the young man;
g it is all very well for you to tell me
that, but if were to write better people
would find out how to spell.
RByMED PROVERBS, FROM THE GERMAN.
Child's hand is soon filed,
Childs wrath is soon stilled.
Contentment is the art divine
That changes water into wine.
Scratching fowls roast with speed;
Swimming ones slow cooking need.
When one has climbed the II,
But is another cliff
Peacock, when you walk
It would make you great deal less vain.
If you now and then took
At your feet look,
And thought somewhat less of your train.
The poor man help to kill the fox.
But in his skin the rich walks
Truth may be crushed,
But never hushed.
Who says there's sin in usury
No money has, t is plain to see,
Who says, no sin in usury,
He has no God, t is plain to see.
Into thy head once let the wine,