The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-02-23
GOSSIP.


Bedaubing your clothes with delightful slush
Making the streets Il sea Of mush.
"Here's another doughmestic difficult
ty," said Brooklyn woman as She
found her bread heavy.
A traveller called for corn bread,
when O waiter said that they had none,
'isn't 1t corn bafe ye maneW
"Dust to dust" as the little girl said
when she shook the contents of her
bursted .doll-baby's abdomen into the
street.
81 am going to where won't have to
cook beansw was the farewell sentence
OF Baltimore woman who left this vale
of tears a few days since.
"Oh! Pve loved BEFORE" said Detroit
woman to her fourth husband, as sh g
took a handful of hair from his head be-
cause he objected to hang out weeks
washing.
''What are you doing with thats" in
quired passer-by Of an Irishman who
was belaboring crooked bar of iron.
"Faith," replied the Irishman, IAN Pm
trying TO bend it straight"
A woman at Lexington, Ky., fell and
broke her arm, but she refused two offers
Of assistance because the men were
strangers to her, and there was no one
around to introduce them.
A woman gets lnadest when you
make an unfayorable comparison of her
baby with neighbours. In the absence
or baby, you can work up some by
putting up a Grover Il Baker sewing ma
chine when she runs a Wheeler Il Will
son.
A Detroit wife refused to speak to her
husband for several weeks because he
went away to his business one morning
without kissing her goodbye. The joke
OF the matter was that the poor man
didn't know alI the time how ne had Of
Tended her.
One Of the editors Of New Orleans
paper. soon after beginning to learn the
printing business, when he was techni-
cally printers devil, went to court a
preachers daughter. The next time he
attended the meeting he was taken
down by hearing the minister announce
as his text: "My daughter is grievously
tormented with devil"
A story is told of two Vermont farm
ers who are not Changers. They induc-
ed their wives to join and report before
they would commit themselves. Now,
when they will, they cannot; two black
while the wives go regularly and tri-
umphantly to every Grange meeting,
and the men stay at home and tend the
babies.
A bridegroom seldom renders his
mother-in-law speechless, but here is an
interesting case: A selfpossessed
young man at house in Atlanta, Ga, a
few mornings ago, and asked to see his
wife. "She is not here" replied the
mistress of the house. 'Frhere is no one
here but the members Of my own fami-
ly." "Well," he replied. 'it's one of
them want to see. l married your eld-
est daughter last night"
Jones and his wife were always quar-
reling about their comparative talent for
keeping fire. She insisted that, just as
surely as he attempted to rearrange the
sticks with the tongs, he put the fire out.
One night the church bells sounded an
alarm, and Jones sprang for his water
bucket, eager to rush to the .cOn1agra-
ton. "Mr. JONES'" cried his vile as he
reached the door, "come back and take
the tongs."
A little girl braids the hair of one
who sat in front of her, instead OF study
ing, when the teacher remarks: "Home
is the place for arranging hair, not here.
What would you think TO see Inc braid
ing my hair in schoolW Presently Su-'
sans hand is raised, and the teacher,
supposing she wished to ask some ques-
tion about the lesson mods, when she
hears the following; "Mary says your
hair is false, and you wouldn't dare
to do it herew
Sunday morning. just as the minister
had got 10 ave have done those things
which we ought not to have done," etc,
Mr.. Jones succeeded i'll getting of his
overshoe, with which he had been wrest-
ling niantully tor ten minutes, and it
took two hymn books and an ear in the
passage down the pew, causing consid-
cradle emotion IN the congregation, and
fetched up in the center of the aisle.
Jones says it is odd what elastic things
these rubber shoes are.
An editor relates how q colored barber
made a dead-head of him. He offered
him the usual dime for shaving, when
the fellow drew himself up with consid-
erable pomposity and said: II under
stand dat YOU is all editor" "Well,
what of itl" says we. "We never
charge editors nuftin." "But my wor-
thy friend" we continued, "there are a
good many editors travelling nowadays,
and such liberality on your part would
prove ruinous business" ooh! never
mind" remarked the barber, "we make
It up off the gemmen."
A diary evidently belonging to young
lady, was picked up on Pike street yes
,erday, and can be obtained on applica-
LlOA dt tuA5 OulC6s Ac ulbL page 10 dS
'ollows: "Sunday Night-It has just |
struck II and am still writing. What
are these thoughts that surge across my
leart? What is this strange longing, |
onging after the unattainab BILE? |
Am 7 what really seem, or is 1t,
Is it were, not so much the infnitesimal |
Is the unspeakable2 Let me be calm.
have read Don juan to-day. Ahl
flasl will there ever be another ByronPf
May there not be somewhere, coming
oward me from the mist of the mountain
op, or the flower Of the valley, some
youth, who"
At revival meeting in Sacramento a
German saloon-keeper approached the
tand and presented the speakers with |
ONE goblets of lager. He was prop
rly arrested for disturbing public
Meeting, and when called upon for his
lefence before the "Shudge," Grated,
ays the Bee, as follows: "Vell, Shudge,
lem peoples vas shtanding nit der
htreet und don't vas know YES party
em spheechers vas talk about, und dey
as look SO dry dot l dinks dey would
ike SOON of dot lager from dot Gruhler.
don't v0s understand vot b0litice dey
os dellin' de peoples, but dots nodding,
er peer vas vot 1 was dink dey wanted,
ont il? Das vas der matter NIT me, /
tx vas know de bolitics but das vas all