The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-05-13

II ulOtlliS
charges that Boston women chew to-
bacco. Just think of thatl
TIL next Sunday train will u to
and from Cincinnati at reduced fair.
If you want TO go, get ready.
Ben Wade didn't want to be weigh
ed in the balance against William AL
len.
We had a most glorious rain on last
Saturday night, which has made ev-
arvthing to bloom and blossom.
The Assessor has been around, and
we are now ready to receive black
backs on subscription.
We don't need any money, but the
meat man, grocer and baker does de-
mand it.
We have been "jim jamed," and are
now consigned to everlasting neglect.
How sadl
How apt some people are to meas
ure their neighbours corn in their own
peck.
Warm weather has the inside track
now, and that's who we'll bet our
money on.
We have been waitel upon by two
Assessors this season, but we manag-
ed tc get our wealth all on n blank.
No matter how many papers a man
takes, the list is incomplete without
his home paper.
If you haven't bought your straw
hat yet, don't do it until you see
Sturm's assortment.
The thermometer stood at So dogs.
on Saturday last. That will do for
warm.
The Sheriff's farm residence could
be very much improved in appear
auce by a coat of paint. Will the
Commissioners donate?
Dwelling houses are needed in Ea-
ton. 1t is a good sign, and our mo-
neyed men ought to take advantage of
it.
The mosquito will soon tune his
harp for the midnight serenade, he
will also present his bill at the same
time.
Don't undertake to joke with a
iack-ass. He hasn't brains to appre-
ciate it and is sure to kick at you ma
liciously for your good nature.
The cheapest way to make enemies
is TO go into a crowded barber shop
on Saturday night, and get your hair
cut.
Natty Stephens sold his celebrated
pacing horse, "Crazy SAM" for the
sum ,of $500. Mr.. Elmore Todd, of
Montgomery county, purchased him.
Good bye, Sam!
sPusiTlanimous hyena" is a good
name for the person that is no respect
er of private character. To call him
a dog, would be an outrage on the
canine race.
Van Pelt was once a quiet sort of a
saloon. keeper. He Joined the cru
saders and soon became a drunkard, a
liar. and last a thief. Mr.. Van. Pelt is
evidently ruined.
A Montana justice of the peace
doesn't splurge any when he marries
a couple. He says: "Arse, grab
hands-hitched-six dollars" And
that's all there is to il.
It must have Been a woman who
compiled the table of figures to show
that the average men who patronize
the barber, spends for shaving in forty
wears the sum OF $4,600,67.
IfMr. Postmaster Neal was not the
best natured man in town he would
warm some of those boys who con-
gregate in his office about mail time
in the evening and cut up their HI
daddy tricks. He would indeed.
Now is the time OF the yearfor the
patent right MAI to begin his peram-
bulations through the country, and
get farmers names to contracts, which
are afterwards converted into negoti-
able notes.
We need more Hotel accommoda-
lions in Eaton, and it is a great pity
10 our place that the Doty House was
permitted to be closed. We hope
there will be something done in this
matter before the June term of Court
commences.
AS some of the late Doty House
boarders have been obliged to accept
"any port in a storm" for grub and
repose, we'll just mention that Sheriff
Townsend has several very excellent
NdCdlL lOOills W lCi' LSSNSS NeS
terms moderate.
The lateness of the a will pre-
vent considerable amount of tobacco
from being planted in this county,
that would have been put in had it
been otherwise. Farmers are not
willing to take the chances of the
crop.
The travelling public will be glad
to know that the Local Accommoda-
ton train has been put back to its old
running time. Superintendent WILL
L1AMs deserves the thanks of the pub
lie for the prompt manner in which
he has complied with their wants in
this matter.