The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-06-29
CURRENT PARAGRAPHS.

The home circlc--walking around with
the baby at night.
What is better than promising Young
man! A paying one.
Question for actors-can an actor be
said to work when he plays?
In what ship has the greatest number
Of people been wrecked? Courtship.
A Spanish proverb says "a kiss with.
out mustache is like an agg without
salt"
Bashfulness is often like the plating on
spoons-when it wears off it shows the
brass.
The world hath such astore of fools,
That he that would not see an ass,
Mast stay at home, and bolt his door,
And break his looking glass.-BoiIeau.
why do you use paint - asked a
yioliniSt Of his daughter. d ''For the same
reason that you use rosin, papa" allow
is thats" Why, to help me draw my
beau
"A subscriber to Southwestern news
paper died recently, leaving four years
subscription unpaid. The editor appear.
ed at the grave and deposited in the coffin
mOnleter.
It was printer who perpetrated this
double-barrcled, brecch-loading. pun
conundrum: Why is an old mans farm
in Texas like the focus of sun-glass?
Because it s the place where the sons
raise meat.
A man had better have milestone tied
to his neck and be cast into the sea, than
promise to marry Texas girl and then
refuse. The whole country turns out to
hunt him, and he is generally left to
grow up with tree.
'sFor heaven sake lend me 49, said a
destitute man to his friend; 81 have had
nothing in my house to eat for four days
but rice.'' .''Rice5!' said the other; ''if
[ had known you had rice [ would have
come around to dinner The SIS were
not forthcoming.
''Make you coat, sir - said sus-
picisus tailor to suspected customer.
"Oh, yes, sir, with the greatest pleasure.
There, just stand in that position, please,
and look right upon that notice while I
take your measure" Customer reads
the notice: @'Terms cash.
A Charles county woman's false switch
of hair got into bed some way, and her
husband lay.awake all mig ht, shivering
and shaking, under the idea that rattle
snake was curled down against his leg.
When he found out the truth, he walked
out of that bedroom whoopin' and ours
in like snakes. ..#f .5,,...,
A Michigan paper says: s.Young man,
if you are looking for wife, come to
Michigan, the noble Peninsular State,a and
we'll put you on the track of a young
lady who can husk her fifty bushels Of
corn per day, yoke oxen, drive horses,
teach school, and saw with cross cut
saw. She wants to be loved for hersel
alone" ,.,. W.,
e' A married man in Brooklyn thong hit he
detected an obstruction in the keyhole of
his bedroom door one night last week land
in fit of enthusiasm he chucked half a
pint of carbolic' acid into the opening.
The next morning his mother-in-law turn
ed up missing, and there is lingering
impression on that mans. mind that car
bolic acid is one of the necessities that no
newly married couple can do without.
"Why did you stop in the aisle to talk
with those gossiping women, and keep
me and Judge N -; waiting?'' >growled
q husband to his wife on their way home
from church, ungallantly adding: .'Noth-
ing ever so much reminded me of BALKAN
and his ass" 81 am very sorry" meek
~ replied tie wife; slut you seemto for
get, dear. that it was snrangel that stop
ped the way, and BALKAN and his ass who
complained Of it," ~ : '..''S-..: &