The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-12-23
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.


c@.A Consolation for iold maids -"mis-
fortunes never come singly."
When the preacher quotes: "Be not
wise in your own .conceit," he closes for
many the only door to wisdom.
|r -NMy son. said a man of doubtful
morals, putting his hand on the head of
a young, ,urchin, tI believe Satan, has
got hold of you" "I believe SO too,"
the urchin replied. so
|n. One of Che firm of a Boston print
ing house received, last week, letter
which had been two years andsix months
on the way from Beverly to Boston,
| distance of eighteen miles.
|eo'=--HD Doctor;1 said q nephew, on settling
tho fee question for his nncle's illness,
and from whose death he entertained
great expectations, IT beg for the future
You will not interfere in family matters" !"
!; = Mrs. iHaddock, wife of Judge Had
;dock, of Iowa, has been. admitted to
practice in the courts of that State. She
Is in demand as an advocate in her hus-
Bands court, and is reputed to be gener-
ally successful. g ~ s'.i'
Mrs. Henry" said John to his
wife, the other morning, ''if yon give me
Christmas present this year, please ar
range il SO that the bill won't come in
till the next month. Jt's just as we'll to
keep MP the illusion for short time"
f., A lonely man informed q friend
that he.was going to advertise for q wife,
and should prefer : poor girl. "Take
thefrst one chat responds to your ad-
yertisement," !" said the friend, "and you'll
be pretty sure to, have, real poor, one."
- A noble fellow, that tramp was who
returned q FIVE dollar bill he said he had
found in an old vest a Norwich gentle
man had given him. His honesty was
rewarded with one dollar bill, and the
ne1t day the ,|ls ave turned 7 out to be a o0un-
A husband finding q piece broken
out of his plate, aadi another out Of his
saucer, petulantly exclaimed to his wife;
'fMy dear, it, seems to me that every thing
belonging to you is brokenp "Well,
yes, responded the wife; "eysn you seem
to be alittle crackedp af.i ra
The. rife ota bookworm one day ex-
claimed, to her husband: ~ wish l
were a book, SO could always. be in
your society,"" "Well; yes, my dear"
said the old man, that would be charm
ing, if; you; should happen to be an alma,
mac, 50 I could change you every year.
'scMM man went into a butchers, aud
finding the owners wife in attendance,
in the iabsenoe of her husband, thought
he,would have joke at ;herexpense, and
said ."Madan, car. you supply me with
and then tturningit6 a.bocyy; she added:
thames, give that gentleman three pigs
feet.'I,..i {. aof1 ind;
.-,Arsick man, slightly, ;con,alescent,
Was asked BY q pious friend, who his
physician was. He replied: doctor
Jones brought me through" .ssNo--ns,"
said his friend: 4%1God brought you out
Of your illness, not the doctor" Well,
may be HI" did but you can bet the doc
TOT will charge forlit.a 'f...,o.'
Little Bessie is the hve-year Old
daughter of Portland lady, who mar
ried clergyman not long since. When
her father was away, and she was play
ing in the yard, a stranger came along
and inquired if the minister was at home.
NO. she replied, .'but mother il in the
house, and she will pray with you, you
poor, miserable sinner"
= The sea mouse is one of the pref
tiest creatures that lives under water. 1t
sparkles like diamond and is radiant
with all the colors of the rainbow, al
though.it lives in mud at the bottom of
the ocean. Tt should not be called a
mouse, for it is larger than big rat. It
ie covered with scales that move up and
down as it breathes, and glittess liksgold
shining through a aeecy down, from
which fine, silky bristles wave, shat con-
stantiy change from one brilliant tint to
another 20 that, as Cuvier the great ma
turalist, says, the plumage of the hum
ming bird Is not more beautiful.
- One gentleman observed 70 anoth-
er: az have wife and six children in
New York and never saw oneo them" "
"Were YOU ever blind3" "Oh, nj" re-
piled the other; A further laps of time,
and then the interrogation resumed the
subject. "Did I understand you to say
that you had wife and six children hr-
inc in New York, and you had never
I:seeu one of them.p "Yes, SUCH is the
facts"1, Here followed . still longer pause
| in the conversation, when the interroga-
tor fairly puzzled, said: How can it
be that you never saw one of them! ]!
"Why," was the answer, Zone OF. them
was born afterI left" q5