Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-09-02
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

turkey is called the SICK man OF
the Yeast" because it is so full of rising
rebellions.
1t is believed that good many more
people could increase the conscience fund
il they only would.
Coming events cast their shadows all
over everything Next winter will be
f.ightfully cold, they say.
1t is time for poets to commence poems
beginning:
The autumn gale shrieked madly.
-" Peter said mother to her son,
are you into those sweetmeats again ?"
"No, ma'am; them sweetmeats is into
me-"
A fugitive from Texas Jail, having
been bitten by rattlesnake, had to go to
a physician for treatment and was thus re-
captured.
"A certain ward in Memphis has one
dog TO every two voters. 1t should be a.
ward-ed the first premium for purp-pet-
uating the species.
A question 10 come before the Texas
Constitutional Convention is that of the
establishment of corporal punishment by
the whipping post and stocks.
A Boston man has made a contract
with an ice company for forty years ahead.
He's bound that his family shall have
something to fall back on in case OF his
death
An Ohio Constable arrested man for
hogstealing just as he was saying to II
crowd that honesty was the best policy,
and thus was another slur cast upon a good
precept.
-Level-headed young fellows from
New York go to Long Branch or Saratoga
10 pick out a wife, and then 90 away and
marry some girl who has never been at
such places.
1t didn't make any difference to a
Frenchman that he went home and found
ms native village swept away by the flood
he wanted to know why some one didn't
save his cabbages.
1t used to be, "Money makes the
mare 20" But the fellows who were
taken by surprise lately when Lulu ma
teriaized are decidedly of opinion that the
mare makes money 60.
-" 1t has been discovered that the
sweet fern possesses valuable tannin
properties" We discovered, when quite
young, that beech rod possesses the same
qualities .-Cinci1llati Times.
Student" Well, professor, l have
Just discovered what | was cut out for"
Professor" Well, what is itY' Student
-" For loating." Professor" The man
who did the cutting understood his bust
ness
A Pennsylvania man was bitten by
Fatiiesnake the other day and he bound a
cabbagehead on the spot and worked
speedy cure. He now wants the cabbage
mead given a conspicuous place on the
State seal
-" No, my boy" said an opera-singer to
a poor young man who wanted her TO give
up singing and marry him, there would
come times when | couldn't take your ap
petite away by warbling an air from
Lohcngrin. -"
The Detroit Free Press says that " Du-
mas, the French author, has written ro
nance in which an American coon chases
couple of American lovers up tree and
hIe> 70 gnaw the tree down. He says this
coon was as big as yearllng calf"
a frog nearly as barge as cows
head has made It's appearance near Mon
real, Canada. Its croaking is as loud as
lie bark OF dog, and when pursued it
makes for deep water and remains perfect
a.. +"'-' Lp4 IL" IA. : anu Al-Als'
The Rev. J. L. A. Fish and Mrs
Allen, teachers in the Duluth public
schools, have determined TO hitch up and
paid double hereafter tHReapolis Nal
Ilus both The lovers have their wish
FOR which they've long been squall!n';
u E widow gets jelly fish,
lie taxes The widow sll-in.
y tramp who was refused cider by
JOSIAH b. COrbin. Of Cornwall, Conn, the
o-ler day Went TO fine tobacco bed and
IL-ea over in il, tearing up the plants !;
"+efeupon Mr.. Corbin set his dog upon
nm, But the tramp whipped the dog and
Len pummeled Mr.. Corbin, who went to
assistance; after which he fed. and
s0Qgh Mr. Corbin pursued him several
A..es with q mUsket was not overtahen.