The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1875-12-30
TAKING A DRIVE.
Incidents Of Mr.. and Mrs. Creamly's First Expe-
rience.
From the Boston Commercial Bulletin.l


bowed spectacles, and asked him il
rather pertinent fimpertinent, accord.
ing to Mr.. Creamy, would be the better
adjectiye) tone, II be was used to driv
ing; and it was with vivid recollections
of the family horses over whose backs
he had f1icked the braided lash in boy
hoods sunny hours, that he had assumed
a look OF lofty surprise as he answered
head"
There are horses and horses.
The geometrical steed of Mr. Oliver
Creamly's childhood, whose back bore a
singular resemblance to the venerable
bair trunk in the attic, Was imperyious
to fagellation, and, Indeed, Oliver
thought he used rather to enjoy it, ex.
cept when it reused him from the sweet
| slumbers in which he often INDUCED in
conveying him to town.
But this horse of which we now speak
| was an equine tiend, and Mr.. Creamy
| had hardly given the order to the hostler,
as above stated, before he repented his
| rashness, and but for pride would have
| exclaimed, "Catch hold of his head!'
For he Immediately took occasion to
erect himself in sudden manner upon
his hind legs, and the thought fitted
| through MIR. Creamly's agonized brain,
what If heshould fall ever backward and
break me somewhere
Mr.. Creamly's wife was with him, and
1t is characteristic feature OF. her sex
that her first remark after she had e]ac.
ulated the words "Land of compassionv p
were, "There, knew it would be just
sol"-a remark by no means calculated
10 soothe the dominant passions surging
beneath Creamly's single-breasted waist
coat.
But when the gallant steed had once
more retouched his native earth, in a
slang but expressive phrase. he ''Sot up
and busted" to that extent which re-
dnced MIR. Creamly's skill as driver to
merely a frantic holding on with the
hands to the reins, and letting him
''dust,' which he did most liberally.
Mrs. Creamy, with the usual sublimi-
ty of heroism that develops itself in the
sex under the most trying circum-
| stances, said she guessed that she'd get
out, as she saw that her spouse didn't
appear to know much about driving; but,
as he braced his feet anew and said,
'W gently-good horsep' be indi-
Gated to her, with unmarital sternness,
that il she didn't keep her mouth closed
she might lose her false teeth.
Creamy concluded he must have been
going about seven miles a minute when
the dreadful brute stopped suddenly and
unexpectedly, at the same time execu-
ting sidewise jump, which is called
''shying." The cause was wheel-bar-
row by the roadside, propelled by a
small boy; the effect was a propulsion of
M. Oliver Creamly's frame toward the
dasher OF the carriage, and the contact
of his wiie's head with his spinal col
umn,
Her remarks, for obvious reasons, we
forbear TO repeat, but they were sugges-
tive of a total loss OF temper. Que OF the
flowers OF speech she used was 'idiotic
old fool" Perhaps she referred to the
horse; but, judging from subsequent per-
soRal al. usions, this might be open to
doubt.
And then the horse stood still in the
dry ditch by The roadside. occasionally
looking around as Creamy remarked,
''Backi back, strip with pendulous
motion of the under lip which was the
nearest approach to a horse-laugh that
WAS ever seen, and which at the same
time suggested derision.
Then Creamy pulled on the reins. at
first gently; and as his angry passions
surmounted his Tears, he pulled with a
vehemence which, If the reins did not
break, gave fair promise OF drawing the
beast through the dasher.
AhhG buC Wuip W Sdtu MIS- w.,
with irritability apparent in her voice;
and he did so, not without misgivings,
however, as gratuitous advice from the
same source had occasionally brought
him to grief. Fortunately his wife sat
down on the side of his head as the bug
gy went over. Perhaps she had vague
idea that he was the horse and she was
holding him down, but she was mistaken,
tor that sagacious animal was making
excellent time toward the livery stable,
and had the remains of the vehicle which
he was propeliing been right side up,
we have no DOUBT but that he would
have reached that haven of rep0se be-
fore the news of the mishap.
II hope you're satisfied now!' said
Mrs. Creamy, with an intense calmness.
born of suppressed wrath and dsipair,
as she shook the dust from her garments
and felt of her back hair. Creamy but
toned up his coat to hide his shirt bosom
which was in ragsi seooped thj,.fa1 ht.s1ui
OF mud from his left eye, and sigok some
leose gravel from his left ear, wiped the
blood from his nose with his torn coat
sleeve, and said that he was, perfectly.
and asked her, with show Of asperity
and scratched face, what she would
have done If she had been with an un-
skiilful driver, question she was too
mucn QaZeu 10 answer Chough the mat
ter has been referred to by her several
times since; but as she is omewhat
given to hasty figures of speech we will
drop the subject.
The stable-keeper drove up with a
team, and asked Creamy ii he knew
what he'd done, as he helped him in.
Creamy thought the question super
fuous, as he looked at his damaged
clothing, and thought of the topics OF
conversation his wife would indulge in
during the long winter evenings after he
mad retired; but he calmly said he
thought he knew, and asked the man
why he gave MIN such horse to drive.
The stable-keeper was man fluent OF
speech and with an unpleasant readi-
ness of profanity--but the gist of his
conversation was just this-that he
thought any fool could drive stable
horse that wimmen had driv for nigh
seven years.
AS Creamy remarked in the begin
nipg of the discourse, he thought so, TOO,
and SO he told the man OF the stable; but
still he did not appear to be satisfied.
Creamy has borrowed 800 and paid
the bill, but is more and more convinced
that walking is a healthy exercise, and
that to so much driving and riding are
due the lassitu0a and general dahiIitv nj