The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-07-29
How to Train Up Parent in the
Way He Should Go.

| IT is SOulellIQcS Sdlu tLldt Sulllltu VI Ill
present day are made too much of. Per
haps so. They but follow the fashion o
the age-anything but a heroic or asceti
age No doubt they are alittle spoiled
So are we ALL But the errors of the par
ents, from which theirs arise, are mucl
more serious matter. How to train VI
the parents in the way they should go is
necessity which, did it force itself upol
the mind of any school board, would b.
found quite as important as the education
of the children.
To be just is the very first lesson that
parent requires to learn. The rights o
the little soul, which did not come into tn,
world of its own accord, nor, indeed, wa
taken into consideration in the matter a
all-for do any in marrying ever think o
the sort of fathers or mothers they are Civ
ing to their offspring?-the rights of this
offspring, physical, mental and moral, ART
at once most obvious and least regarded
The new born child is an interest, a de
light a pride; the parents exult over it, a,
over any other luxury or amusement; bu
how seldom do they take to heart the sol
emn responsibility of it, or see face di
vine, as it were, looking at them from The
innocent baby face?
Yet most young parents, who until now
have been accustomed to think only o.
themselves, or of one another, take the in
PRODUCTION of the unconscious third as
their natural possession, never doubling
that it is wholly theirs to bring up as they
please, and that they are quite capable OF
so doing.
Constantly one hears the remark: ooh
| would not take the responsibility of an.
other persons child" Does that imply
that they feel at liberty to do as they like
with their own? | fear it does, and that
law and custom both appear to sanction
this delusion. Nobody must Interfere
between parent and child, at least not till
the case comes within degree or two OF
child-murder. The slow destruction OF
soul and body which, through ignorance
or carelessness, goes on among hundreds
of children, not only in humble but in
many respectable and Regulated house
holds, society never notices. | suppose
even the most daring philanthropist would
never venture to bring in bill for claim.
ing the children Of unworthy parents and
snatching them from ruin by annihilatina
all parental rights, and making them chill
Il of tha Stata of SI1Dh N YNrn,aal;pn
would benefit the new generation to an in.
calculable degree.
Train up child in the way he should
go' is the advice in everybody's mouth
but who thinks of training the parents
Does not everybody strictly hold that the
mere fact of parenthood implies all that is
necessary for the up bringing of the child
all the love, all the wisdom, all the self.
young man and young woman, bending
together over the cradle of their first born
that the little thing, whose teachers they
are proudly constituting themselves to be,
is much more likely to be the unconscious
agent in teaching them?
And the education begins at once. How
amusing and, at the same time, how salts.
factory it is to see young fellow, who
throughout his bachelor days has been a
selfish egotist-most young bachelors are
obliged now to think of something and
somebody besides himself, to give up not
a few of his own personal comforts and
find himself forced to play second fiddle
in his own home, where the one important
object for the time being is " the baby"
| have spoken Of rights. This is the
only instance | know in which they arc
not mutual but entirely one-sided. The
newborn babe owes absolutely nothing
to the parents beyond the physical fact Of
existence. All moral claims are on its
side alone. The parents are responsible
for it, soul and body, for certainly the
first twenty years, nor even after that is il
easy to imagine circumstances which
could wholly set them free. The mos
sorcly- tried father and mother could hard
ly cast adrift their erring offspring with
out lurking uneasiness of conscience as
to how far these errors were owing tC
themselves and their up-bringing. For
save in very rare cases, where far back
types crop out again and are most difficult
to deal with, there is seldom Il "blacb
Sheep in any family without the parents
having been to blame.
"Why, brought up my children all
alike" means some virtuous progenitor OF
such. How does it happen that this
one has turned out so different from the
rcst?"
Just, my good friend, because you die
bring them up all alike. You had not the
sense to see that the same training which
makes one mars another; or else that il
training them it was necessary to train
yourself first. Meaning to be a guide, you
were only a finger post, which points tho
way to others but stands still itself
The very first lesson a parent has tc
learn is that whatever he attempts to teach
he must himself first practice Whatever
he wishes his child to avoid he mus
make up his mind to renounce, and tina
from the very earliest stage of existence
and down to the minutest things. Ir
young children the initiative faculty is SC
enormous, the reasoning power so small
that one cannot be too careful, even with
infants, to guard against indulging in
harsh tone, a brusque manner, a sad or an
cry look. As far as is possible the tender
bud should live in an atmosphere of con
tinual sunshine, under which it may safely
and happily unfold, hour by hour and day
by day. To effect this there is required
from the parent, or those who stand in the
parents stead, an amount of selfcontro
and self-denial which would be almost i'm
possible had not Heaven implanted on the
one side maternal instinct, on the Other
that extraordinary winning charm which
there is about all young creatures, making
us put up with their endless wavwardness
and love them all the better the more
trouble they give us.
That is, mothers do. When | sale
"maternal instinct" | spoke advisedly
and intentionally. OF paternal instinct
there is almost none. A man is proud OF
his sons and daughters because they are
has sons and daughters-bound to carry
down his name to posterity; but he rarely
takes the slightest interest in ANYBODY
else's children, and in his own only so fal
as they contribute to his pleasure, amuse
ment, or dignity. The passionate love a
woman often has for another woman's
children, and for the feeblest, naughtiest
ugliest of her own, is to men a thing en-.
tirely unknown. Two-thirds of paternal
love is pure pride, and the remaining
third not seldom pure egotism.-Harper's