Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-07-21
HUnOROUx

A Baltimore paper says: An amusing
incident occurred on Sunday which
caused considerable merriment. A gen.
tleman and his wife were returning
home from church; the lady was lean
ing gently upon her husbands arm.
when suddenly their conversation was
arrested by some one behind calling,
Madame, madame. does this belong
to your Upon turning around a gen.
tleman advanced towards the lady with
bonnet In his hand. Imagine the
surprise of the lady as we'll as her hus-
band to find that they had walked
nearly block without discovering the
loss. The somewhat Disconnected hus-
band took the bonnet and bestowed it
upon his wife.
The pig was thus written up by a
Georgia boy, whose composition was
published in his local paper, the Griffin
Ne,cs. and was as follows: 1.-The pig is
about as big as sheep, only pigs
wool isn't good for making stockings
of. Why is pig like treef Because
he roots; that Is a conundrum. A pig
washes himself in the mud. A pig has
four legs, one under each corner of his
body. They pickle pigs feet, but not
until after the pig is done using 'em.
A pig squeals awful when it rains. also
when you pull its tail. A pig has got a
first-rate voice for squealing, and he
grunts when he feels good. You can't
make whistle out of a pigs tail, ,'cOs it
Is crooked.
A Nan Run Orer.-A pale man with
long hair got into the car. 1t was cold
day. and the seat near the stove was
occupied by man and an inqnisitive-
looking boy, the pale man backed up
to the stove. and casually remarked:
Man run over just now"
The inquisitive-loOking boy sprang
to his feet and rushed out of the ear
like maniac. The pale man settled
down in the vacated seat and explained: !:
He run over the track ahead of the
engine. He wasn't struck.
A gentleman residing in a western
city lately lost his mOtiIer-in-law. The
death of this lady left him in a guam
Diary. If he closed his store he might
lose some custom. unless some expla-
nation could be furnished. A happy
thought struck him. He purchased
about quarter of yard of Grape, hung
it on his store door. then pasted on his
show window the following: "StOre
will he open April 14th; if you want
any boots and shoes it will pay you to
waitr
A Clergyman being applied to in less
than a year after his appointment to
put a stove in the church, asked how
long his predecessor had been there. and
when answered, Twelve years." he
said: "Well, you never had a fire in
the church during his time :" NO,
sir" replied the applicant, but we had
fire IN the pulpit them"
During the late tourist season a
traveller walked up to the bar of hotel
In the English lake district, and with
considerable flourish signed the visitors
book, and exclaimed. ''I'm Lieutenant
Governor Of" THAT doesn't make
any difference" said the landlord;
you'll be treated as well as the rest.
4 man, who had lost three of his toes
by a railroad carriage running over his
foot, while howling with pain, was
checked by a aby-stander, who exclaimed,
stop your precious DIN there, You
make more noise over the loss of your
toes than a stranger did yesterday over
the loss of his head"
4 friend lately called upon the histO-
rian, Runke, in Berlin, and observed
swell, professor, | suppose you work
as hard as ever in your old age.n Yes"
replied the veteran, tenderly, ''yes; my
wife is dead now, You see, and | have
less annoyance and can accomplish
more"
When one looks around and sees
hundreds of dough-heads getting rich
doing nothing, while he is working like
IA slave for his daily bread, we tell you
what, it makes fellow feel as though
the butter of this world was spread by
IA -mother.-St Louis Globe.
4 reIy old man once went to the King
of Sparta, and lamented over the de-
generacv of the times. The King re-
piled, "What you say is undoubtedly
true, for remember that, when | was
a boy, heard my grandmother say the
same thing"
4 distinguished parsonage once re-
marked to Talleyrand, "ln the upper