Middletown transcript., 1875-02-27

NOW you see, my IIehu, thdt Wha'
dishsrmonious, and do you just tell er
one and all, 9 pluribus unum, so-calle
that if they don't stop it at once or tut
US loose to say what we please. why '
rebs, so-called, have, unanimously ar
jointly and severally resolved to-to-
: to-think very hard of it-if not harde
That's the way to talk it. ain
agwine to commit myself, knc
when to put on the brakes. ain
agwine to say all l think, like MI
f Etheridge or Mr.. Alderrig, so-calleo
Nary time. No. sir. But I'll jest te
you, Artemus. and you may tell it
your show: If we .aiH't allowed to ex
press our sentiments, we can take it ou
in hatin--and hatin runs heavy in m
family, shure. I hated man so ba
once that all the har cum off my he'd
and the man drowned himself in a hog
waller that night kould do it agin
but you see I'm trying to harmonize, t.
acquiesce, to become kahn and screen
Now. I suppose that, poetikally
speakin,
t'In Dixie's fall
We sinned ALL
But talkin the way see it: big fel-
ler and little feller, so-cdlled, got in.
to fte, and they fout and fout and
fout long time, and everybody all
round KEEP hollerin hands off, but ker
helpin the big feller, until finally the
little felIar caved in and hollored enuf
He made bully fte, I tell you Selah
Well, what did the big feller do? take
him by the hand and help him up, and
brush the dirt off his clothes? Nary
time! No, sur! But he kicked him
after he was down, and throwed mud
on him, and drug him about and rub
bed sand in his eyes, and now he's
gwine about huntin up his poor little
property. Wants to con6skate it, So
called Blame my jacket if it amt
enuff to make your head swim
But Tn good Union man-so-
called I amt agwine to fte no more.
| shan't vote for the next war | amt
no gurilla. I've done and TUX the oath,
and I'm gwine to keep it; but as for
my being subjugated, and enervated,
as Mr.. Chase says, it amt so-nary
time. l amt ashamed of nuthin,
amt repentin, amt askin for no one
horse. short-winded pardon. Nobody
needn't be playin priest around me.
| amt got no twenty thousand dollars.
Wish l had I'd give it to these poor
widers and orfns. I'd fatten my own
numerous and interestin offspring in
about two minits and half They
shouldn't eat roots and drink branch
water no longer Poor, unfortunate
things! to cum into this subloonary
world at such time. There's four or
five of 'em that never saw a sirkus nor
a monkey show-never had pocket
knife, nor piece of cheese, nor
reesin. There is Bull Run Arp, and
Harper's Ferry Arp and Chickahominy
Arp, that never seed the pikters in a
spellin book. I tell you, my friend, we
are the poorest people Oh the face of the
carth-but we are poor and proud. We
made bully 6te, Selah! and the whole
Amerikin people ought to feel proud of
it. 1t shows what Amerikins can do
when they think they are imposed on
-so-called. Didn't our four-fathers
fite, bleed, and die, about little tax
on tea, when not one in thousand
drunk it y? Bekaus they succeeded
wasent it glory? But if they hadent
suppose it would have been treason,
and they would have been bowin and
sorapin round King George for pardon.
So it goes, Artemus, and to my mind,
if the whole thing was stewed down, it
would make about half pint of hum
bug We had good men, great men,
Christian men, who thought we was
right, and many of 'em have gone to
the undiscovered country, and have got
a pardon as is pardon. When l die,
I'm nifty willin to risk myself under
the shadow of their wings, whether the
climate be hot or cold. So mote it be.
Selah!
Well, maybe I've said enuf. But I
don't feel easy yit, I'm good Union
man, sertin and shure. I've had my
breeches died blue, and I've bot blue
bucket. and | very often feel blue, and
about twice in while I 60 to the dog
gerry and git blue, and then | look up
at the blue sorulean heavens and sing
the melancholy choryus Of the Blue
tailed Fly. I'm doin my durndest to
and think I could succeed
If it wasent for sum things When l
see black-guard going around the
streets with gun on his shoulder. why
right then, for few minutes, / hate
The whole Yankee nation. Jerusalem
how my blood biles. The institution
what was handed down to US by the
heavenly kingdom of Massachusetts now
put over us with powder and ball
Harmonic the devil Amt we human
beings? Amt we got eyes and ears