St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-03-26
Squibs.

SQulDs.
\ glntcr when complained To about
selling bad eggs. said: AT this season
the hens amt we'll and very often lay
bad eggs.
y veteran sh"phcrper says that al
though his clerks ale very talkatiNt
dining the day. they are always ready
/" shut up AZ night
Josh Billings saws: There amt ANY
thing that will completely cure laziness.
though Il second wife has been known
to hurry II SOME.
y Rhode Island woman SAYS that
shed rather have the nightmare seven
straight nights than tell her husband
That the tioml barrel is empty.
\ baby with twenty-eight toes has
been born IL St"cktom. Mo. That baby
ought t" nc able t" toe the mark when
it grows up.
Peter 'M"rnrn'. squire lou be up
early -
squire ''tiuud moi ming. Peter: I'm
obliged to hc mp and ont early to get
an appetite for my breakfast. But what
brings you out -
We'll he trying to get breakfast
i"i my appetite"
An advertisement of a lost piece ut
.irwclry wis inserted i'll daily paper
last week. The owner. soon after, found
the missing article in a bureau drawer,
whrre it was mislaid. Another instance
ut the benefit of advertising.
\ New York paper says that perhaps
the StrInge>t valentine of the NcaI was
that received 10y Il Young lady in Troy,
VIII" on opening ii box which came 10y
express found in it COWS heart pierced
with II golden arrow of elegant manu-
factulc. sci with jewels, aud estimated
/" hc worth ut least seventy five dollars.
II it had been Il calls heart. il would
have been still more appropriate.
AmalN SIS detected an unhealthy amount
ot organic matter III the well of IN Iowa
gcnticnIlr. and subsequent inquiry tr;ic-
eel the contamination to his rcprohensi-
hir r.rrlt>>ncS> in leaving three wives
therein after he had drowned them.
y good MANY people we're recently
dclUdci into going into an apothecary's
shop IN Il Village on the Hudson To see
u lrd h:it which had been captured and
na> on exhibition. They saw it. and it
WAS red ~ Il brick bat usually is.
\ scientist has begun taking Il census
of the fools ut the United States. lie
STAYS III Il city until Il fire breaks out in
the day time. and then he puts down
the number of people he sees running
(" II. lie would save time 10y setting
them Ill down. and then striking out
the few who don't smoke in peoples
faces aud spit on the stairs.
The n.nhury News man is worried
hy the report hai IN English plIy sician
lately removed ~umr portion of Il pa
tirut'S liver and then returned it after
prrinrmim% certain SUI gicll repairs. He
furc>ce> now an alarming revolution in
the treatment ot '.i>caSc. and anticipates
such domestic conversations as this
= husband. | wish You would take
Johns right lung down Ia the doctor
this morrlng. and have the middle valve
| fixed = 81 Jrr-c-midh Fell DR..
>crapcn to send up Wilir's right kid
nrN at once. whether il is done or not.
| He's had ii there mnre'n =: week. and
the child might as we'll he without any
| kidney. and done with it,"
.leSterday noon" SAYS the Detroit
| Free Press. ''a~ "a boy about eleven
years old WAS going up Rowland street
With quart pail full of milk, he STUN
hlcd aud spilled "ut full pint. He set
tine pail down, leaned up against the
fence and mcdtatrd for y few minutes.
arid then entered the Capital school
grounds, replaced the lost milk hy hold
ing the pail under the hydrant, and
went home with Il grin a foot long on
his face.
There aIr Il great many Edwards,
large and small, whose personal ex-
prrrnce i, dittoed 10y that of little
Eddie X --. of Albion. New York, of
whom th" following Is sent to the
Drawer:
He had lately attended Il circus for
the first time. and OH the Sunday fol
lowing WAS taken hl his grandmother
to church. Eddie gaZcd around III some
wondermcmt for Il few moments. When
the organi-t began Ia play. he turned
to his grandmother and said. in Il whis-
per,
''Grandma, will there he ii circus, so
| can see the lion ?"
''Why no. Eddie. this is church."
Well" replied the little man, Its
circus music any way"
Doubtless. There's Il good deal of it
in the samctuary.-E Editors Drawer, in
Hayper's Mdgdsine.
Machinery has reached great state
of perfection. An exchange remarks:
I'VE recently saw some burnt peas put
into the hopper of Il coffee mill, and in
less than two minutes they were occupy
ing il place in grocery window, la
belled Fine Old Mocha.
SO away, Leave me with my dead!
Let me fling my self on his coffin and
die there ~ That was in Nebraska six
months ago, and now the widow has
Won another trusting soul, and number
ones portrait is in the attic, face to the
wall.-Detroit Free Press.