Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-08-12
A Laughable Story About Ice-
Cream.

A Laughabie Story About Ice
Cream.
| He slipped into an ice-cream sa-
loon very softly, and when the girl
asked him what he wanted. he said !:
'Corn-beef, fried potatoes, pickles,
and mince-pie."
''This is not q restaurant; this is
an ice-cream parlor." she said:
"Then why did you ask me what
wanted for? Why didn't you bring
on your ce-creamY'
She went after it, and as she re-
turned, he continued:
"You see, my dear girl, you must
infer-you must reason. 1t isn't
likely that would come into an ice
cream parlor to buys Il grindstone, is
it? You did not think l come in
here to ask if you had any baled hay,
did youY'
She looked at him in great sur
prise, and he went on:
"If 1 owned hardware store and
YOU came in l would infer that you
came for something in my line. l
wouldn't step out and ask You il you
wanted to buy a mule, would Ig'
She went away highly indignant.
An old lady was devouring dish of
cream at the next table, and the
stranger, after watching her for
moment. called out:
"My dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dishY'
"Mercy! nor she exclaimed, as
she wheeled around and dropped her
spoon.
"Well, I'm glad of it," he con-
tinued. "If you find any, just let
me know"
She looked at him for half min
ute, picked up the spoon, laid it down
again, and then rose up and left the
room. She must have said some
thing to the proprietor, for he came
running in and exclaimed:
"Did you tell that woman there
were hairs and buttons in my ice
cream?'
''NO, sir"
"You didn'tY"
"No, sir, did not; l merely re-
quested her in case she found any
such ingredients, to infarm me"
''Well, sir, that was mean trick"
"My dear sir" said the stranger,
smiling softly, ''did you expect me
to ask the woman if she had found
crow-bar or sledge-hammer in her
cream2 1t is impossible sir for such
articles to be hidden away in such
small dishes"
The proprietor went away growl-
ing, and as the stranger quietly sup
pod away at his cream, two young
ladies came in, sat down near him,
and ordered cream and cakes. He
waited until they had eaten o little.
and then he remarked,
"Beg pardon, ladies, but do you
observe anything peculiar in the taste
of this cream?"
They tasted, smacked their lips,
and were not certain,
"Does it taste to you as if plug
of tobacco had fallen into the
freezerY' he asked,
"Ah, kah" they exclaimed, drop
ping their spoons, and trying to spit
out what they had eaten. Both
rushed out, and it wasn't long before
the pro prietor rushed in.
"See here, what in blazes are
you talking aboutY' he demanded.
''What do you mean by plug-tobacco
in the freezer?'
"My kind friend, asked the ladies
if this cream tastod of plug tobacco.
don't taste any such taste, and l
don't believe you used o hit of tObac-
co in it,"
"Well, / don't want you to talk
that way around here" continued the
proprietor. "My iee-cream is pure,
and the man who says it isn't tells q
bold lic."
He went away again, and woman
with long neck and a sad face, sat
down and said to the girl that she
would take a small dish of lemon
ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken
about two mouthfulls, when the
stranger inquired:
'Excuse me, madam, but do you
know how this cream was made--have
You an idea that they graded turnip
and chalk with the creamy'
She didn't reply. She slowly rose
up, wheeled around and made for the
door. The stranger followed after,
and by great good luck his coat-tails
cleared the door an instant too soon
to he struck by five pound box of
figs. hurled with great force by the
indignant proprietor. AS he reach
ed the curb-stOne, he halted, looked
at the door of the parlor, and soiilo-
quized:
@The.s are times when people
should inf r, and there are times
when they shouldn't. l suppose if
had asked that woman if she thought
they had hashed up saw-mill in the |
cream, she'd have felt circular saw
going down her throat. ."-Detroh
Free Press.
Romance and Reality.