davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22
Political Economy For Ladies.

Ladies, what is capital? Having more
money than you know what to do with
What is labor? Endeavoring to make
your husband understand that you ought
to have new dress every week.
What is the meaning of demand? In
sisting that you must have month at
the seaside for the benefit of your
health.
What is supply? Your husbands
giving you check to cover your ex-
penses.
What is cooperation? Your husband
| assisting to make your garden party a
success.
What are profits? The means of ena-
bling you to keep up appearances.
What is division of profits? Your hus-
band allowing you certain amount of
| his income for your own use.
What is trade? The means whereby
husbands are enabled to obtain the cash
| required by their wives.
What is credit? Running Up q bill at
the diapers.
OF what use is credit? 1t enables you
| to get things without paying for them.
What is currency? Saying something
about somebody else, and finding every
body doing the same.
What are wages? The money we are
obliged to pay the servants.
What is land? That part of the earth
which is not water.
Into what divisions is the land divid.
| ed? Towns, villages, country estates,
| roads and Mr.. Smiths garden.
To whom does the land belong? To
the landlord, of course.
What are the duties of landlords? The
payment of rates and taxes
What are the duties of landladies? To
look as sweet as possible while their GUS
toners have money to spend.
What is fixed capital? The e10 which
you lent brother ToE aud which he will
not pay back again.
What is floating capital? Your new
parasol blown off the jctty into the sea.
What are rights of labor? Sarah James
Sunday afternoons out, her young man
and a new chignon every month.
What are the rights of capital? The
giving of parties, going full dress to the
theaters and riding the high horse.
What are the duties of labor? To get
as much as possible out of the capital
lists.
What are the duties of capital? To
get as much as possible out of the Ia
borer.
What is bank? A place where they
cash checks.
What is a check2 That which every
husband ought to give his wife when she
wants it.
What is panic? When wife finds
that her husband has not sufficient to
pay her milliner's bill.-HOanet.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22
..vu It's Done.

A CERTAIN noble Lord trclates a con.
temporary, remarkable for the careless
ness of his dress, went personally to pay
his tailor's bill. Being unknown by
sight to the new manager, who received
the money, that worthy mistoOk him for
a servant, and, having cast his eyes over
the account, and receipted it, he handed
the supposed servant a sovereign, at the
same time delivering himself after this
fashion: "Now, there's a sovereign for
yourself, and it's your own fault that it's
not two. But you don't wear out your
masters clothes half quick enough. He
ought to have had double the amount in
the time; and l tell you it's worth your
while to use harder BRUSH" With
queer smile, His Lordship answered
"Well, don't know, l think my brush
is pretty hard one, too-His Lordship
complains of it, anyhow" "Pooh! Hard
not a bit of i'll Now, come, I'll put
you up to a wrinkle that'll put many a
sovereign into your pocket. Look here
fetching piece of wood from the shelf
behind him-"you see that bit of stick
now that's roughened on purpose. You
take that and give your masters coat a
good scrubbing with 1t about the elbows
and shoulders every day, and give the
trowsers a touch about the knees, and
you'll soon wear 'em out for him, and, as
1 say, it will be good five pounds in
your pocket every year. We shan't for
get you, don't be afraid" You are very
kind" quoth His Lordshir, with COM
ical grin. IL will impart your instruc-
tons to my valet, though I fear for the
future, while he remains in my service,
he will not be able to profit by them, as l
shall not trouble you with my custom. l
am Lord -. Iwish you good day"
Tableau!
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

the scOurSc oil The human family, may in its
early stages be promptly arrested and pcrma.
nently cured.
RAvENswooD, w. Va.
DR.. II. V. PIERCE, Buffalo, N. Y:
Sir-For the last year l have been using
your Golden Medical Discovery. l owe my
life to it, having been afflicted for years. Did
not use it but a short time before l was ben.
Gifted; at that time l was very bad, not able
to sit up much, was suffering greatly with
my throat, was getting blind, had a dry
cough, and much pain in my lungs. have
used twelve bottles Of the Discovery and am
almost well. KATE +. WARDNER.
A son of Mr.. J. II. ME.EcK, of Chatham
Four Corners, N. Y, has been cured of Con-
sumption by DR.. Picrcc's Golden Medical Dis
covery; so says Mr.. T.. b. Garfield, editor oil
the Chatham Courier.
s. X. EGLAR, druggist, of West Union, O..
writes to state that DR.. Pierce's Golden Medi-
cal Discovery has effected wonderful cure
of Consumption in his neighborhood.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

"A year-old child of Mr.. Parady, of Bur
lington, Vt, was choked to death few
days ago by swallowing screw, which
lodged in his throat.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

DECIDEDLY the best remedy that has ever
been discovered for rheumatism, swollen or
stiff joints, flesh wounds, sprains, bruises,
cuts and burns is Jotnson's Anodme Lini.
ment. We use it, and always recommend it
to our friends.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22
Hardly a Fair Exchange.

ONE of the dodgers, turning out at six
o'clock, stole Bijah's hat, leaving his
own on the peg. Bijah's hat was a sleek,
well-fed hat, having q graceful dent in
the top, and a general city look, as if it
belonged to good society. The dodgers
hat, when placed on chair and surveyed
from all sides, struck the beholder with
terror. 1t had been a plug hat once
100 years ago. 1t once had nap and gloss
and fine band, and the man who wore
it was an object of admiration. Small
-s respected it, and the wind dared
it up and scoot it along the dusty
zen it grew old, and the gloss
band became rusty. Some
= at a lecture, caving in
it was given to a store
t until The band grew
T, and the lining was
he gave it to de-
Her, who smoothed it
ry-comb and pasted
straighten up the
ITS He wore it for
wore it to weddings,
excursions, and pic
d it boss hat. He
fell to rag-plcker,
ok, put on red wooden
It jauntily on the side
wandered up and down
p He got drunk one
in an alley, and the
the breeze, and the
md it had finally de-
L. He looked at it
Q. He grew red in the
ked. Then he grabbed
med i down, gave it
hoarsely exclaimed:
and dodgers in revenge
Free Press.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

WHEN ANY ANTIDoTE or remedy for
any particular class of disease obtains q
wide-spI eading notoriety, it is but rea-
sonab.e TO suppose that it must merit
the popularity it receives. 1t is with
in our province to mention that DIR. J.
WALKERS CALIFORNIA VINEGAR BIT
TIERS, so long and favorably known as
the safest and most reliable remedial
agent for the cure of Liver, Kid
ney, Bladder and Glandular Diseases,
Mental and Physical Debility, and all
complaints emanating from a corrupt
state of the blood, etc, are in great de-
mand. So satisfied are we of the intrin-
sic worth of this medicine that we do
not hesitate to notice it in our columns.
1t is well to mention that this medicine
is compounded of roots, herbs and flow
ers of California, and has no fiery ma
terial or alcohol used in it's preparation.
We can add no better eulogium than the
fact that we use it constantly in our own
family, and each member thereof par
takes of it, when necessary, according to
directions-Neao York Paper. 81
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

"A wealthy Chinese firm in San Fran.
cisco has just been caught smuggling
opium in large quantities, packed in cases
marked coil"
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

WE should not hesitate to recommend to
any friend of ours Parsons Iuryatiue Pslls: :
they are scientifically prepared, and are
adapted to all the purposes of a good purga-
tive medicine,
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

AND AGUE ToNIC!-Wilhoft's Tonic has estab-
lished itself as the real infallible Chill cure.
1t is universally admitted to be the only re-
liable and harmless Chill medicine now in use.
Its efficacy is confirmed by thousands of GER
tificates Of the very best people from all parts
of the country. 1t cures malarious diseases
of every type, from the shaking agues of the
lakes and valley 10 the raging fcyers of the
torrid zone. Try it! 1t has never been known
to fail. WHEELoCK, FINLAY d Co., Propri-
etors, New Orleans.
FOR SALE ny All. DRJrGGISTS
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

The cutting point of GLACIERS dia-
mond must be natural one an artificial
point, however perfectly formed, will
only scratch the glass, not cut it.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

ELECTRICITY is LIFE.-All nervous disor
ders, chronic diseases of the chest, head, liver
stomach, kidneys and blood, aches and pains
nervous and general debility, etc, quickly
cured after drugs fail by wearing Volta's Elec
tro Belts and Bands. Valuable book free, by
Volta Belt Co., Cincinnati, Ohio.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

PRUssING's White Wine Vinegar, warranted
pure and to preserve pickles. A superb article
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

Tell me, We winged winds that round
my pathway roar do we not know some
spot where women fret no more-some
lone and pleasant dell, some holler" in
the ground, where babies never yell and
cradles are not found? The loud wind
blew the snow into my face, and calmly
answered: There is no such place."
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

sprinkle the foliage of house plants
every day, but never when the sun shines
upon them.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

Cream Pie.-Bake your pastry, take
thick, sweet cream, beat to a stiff froth,
sweeten, and flavor if desired; pour on
the crust, cut thin slices of apple jelly
and place over the cream in the pies. 1t
is then ready for use.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

BURNETT's COCAINE is the best and chea]
st hair dressing in the world.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22
The Blue Handkerchief.

ABOUT the end of October, last year, 1
was returning on foot from Orleans to
the Chateau de Bardy. A regiment of
the foreign guard was marching abreast
of me and on the same road. / had
fastened my steps to hear the military
music which / had liked SO much; but
the band ceased playing; few taps of
the drum from afar off alone marked the
measured step of the soldiers.
After an half hours march I saw the
regiment enter a small field surrounded
by clump of fir trees. asked a Cap
tain whom knew if they were about to
exercise.
mo" said he to me, they are about to
judge and probably shoot a soldier of
my company for having robbed the man
with whom he was quartered."
"Whatr" said !, =" to judge, condemn and
execute at once?"
=" Yes" said he, ait is according to our
articles of capitulation."
For him this was unanswerable, as
though all had been provided for in the
capitulation-thec crime, the punishment,
ee justice and even the humanity. Be
If you are curious" added the Cap
will get:you place. 1t won't
= passion for these sad
~agined that could
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

VjtLe4gR '|1[lgR&
= 5 : s
DIR. J. Walkers California Vim
egar Bitters arc a purely Vegetable
preparation, mado chiefly from the ma
tive herbs found OH tho lower ranges OF
the Sierra Nevada mountains of Califor-
mia, the medicinal properties of which
are extracted thercfrom without the use
of Alcohol. The question is almost
unparalleled success of VINEGAR BPr-
TERs?" Our answer is, that they remove
the cause of disease, and the patient re-
covers his health. They are tho great
blood purifier and a life giving principle,
perfect Renovation and Inyigorator
of the system. Never before in the
history of the world has a medicine been
compounded possessing the remarkable
qualities of VINEGAR BIrTERs in healing the
sick of every disease man is heir to. They
are gentle Pnrgative as well as Tonic.
relieving Congestion or Inflammation of
The Liver and Yisceral Organs, in Bilious
Diseases.
The properties of DIR. WALKERS
VINEGAR Buffers are perient. Diaphoretic,
Carminative, Nutritious, Laxative, Diuretlc,
5edatiye, Counter Irritant Sudorfic, Altera-
tive. aud Anti Bilious.
Grateful Thousands proclaim vIN-
EGAR BITTERS the most wonderful In
vigorant that ever sustained the sinking
system.
No Person can take these Bitters
according to directions, and remain long
unwell, provided their bones are not de-
stroyed by mineral poison or other
means, and vital organs wasted beyond
repair.
Bilious, Remittent and Inter-
mlttent FoverS, which are so preva-
lent in the valleys Of our great rivers
throughout the United States, especially
those of the Mississippi, Ohio, Missouri,
Illinois, Tennessee, Cumberland, Arkan-
sas, Red, Colorado, Brazos, Rio Grande,
Pearl, Alabama, Mobile, Savannah, Ro-
anoke, James, and many Others, with
their vast tributaries, throughout our
entire country during the Summer and
Autumn, and remarkably SO during sea-
SONS of unusual heat and dryness, are
invariably accompanied by extensive de-
rangements of the stomach and liver,
and other abdominal viscera. In their
treatment, a purgatiye, exerting pow
erful influence upon these various or
gans, is essentially necessary. There
is no cathartic for the purpose equal to
DIR. j. WALKERS VINEGAR BIrrERs.
as they will speedily remove the dark
colored viscid matter with which. the
bowels arg loaded, at the Same time
stimulating. the secretions of the liver,
and generally restoring. the healthy
functions of the digestive organs.
FOrtify the body against disease
by purifying all its fluids with VINEGAR
BITTERs. No epidemic can take hold
of system thus fore-armed. el~
Dyspepsia or indigestion, Held
ache, Pain in the Shoulders, Coughs,
Tightness of the Chest, Dizziness, Sour
Fluctuations of the Stomach, Bad Taste
IN the Mouth, Bilious Attacks, P3pita-
tation of tho Heart, Inha r'ra alton. ef fiss,
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

Mechanical Diseases.-porsons en-
gagged in Paints ana Minerals, such as
Plumbers, Type-setters, Gold beatcrs, and
Miners, as they advance in Efe, are subject
to paralysis of tho Bowels. TO guard
against this take dose of WALKERS VIM
EGAR BIrTERs occasionally.
For Skin Diseases, Eruptions, Tet-
ter, Salt Rheum, Blotches, Spots, Pimples,
Pustules, Boils, Catbuncles, Ring-worms,
Scald-head, Sore Eyes, Erysipelas, Itch,
Scurfs, Discolorations of tho Skin, Humors
and Diseases of the Skin of whatever name
OF nature, are literally dug up and carried
out of the system in short time by the use
of these Bitters.
Pin, Tape, and other Worms,
lurking in the system of SO many thousands,
are effectuaIly destroyed and removed. No
system of medicine, no vermifuges no an
thelminitics will free the system from worms
ika these Bitters. s,.-
For Female Complaints, in young
or old, married or single, at the dawn of wo-
manhood, or the turn of life, these Tonic
Bitters display SO decided an influence that
improvement is soon perceptible.
Cleanse the Initiated Blood when
ever You find its impurities bursting through
the skin in Pimples, Eruptions, or Sores;
cleanse it when you find it DISTRACTED and
sluggish in the veins; cleanse it when it is
foul your feelings will tell you when. Keep
the blood pure, and tho health OF the system
will follow.
Druggists and Gen. Agts San Francisco, California.
md cor. of Washington and Charlton Sts-. N. Y.
Sold by all Druggists and Dealers.
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22

THIS PAPER is Prlnted With INK lnangfactIr,ed ns
for sale by A. N. KELLOGG, ~ jackson ST.. Chicago
American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-05-22
100000 ACRES
MICHIGAN LANDS
&c II - a " 2


road Company Now Offered For Sale.
They situated along its railroad and contain large
tracts of excellent FARMING and PIN Il Lands.
The farming lands include of the most fertile
and WeIl-watered hardwood lands in the State. They
are timbered mainly with hard maple and beech; soil
black, sandy loan, and abound In springs OF purest
water Michigan is of the least indebted and most
prosperous State in the Union, and its farmers have
greater variety crops and resources than any West
ern state. While some of the prairie States may pro-
in great abundance, they have no other re-
source when this fails destitution follows.
has in Kansas and Nebraska.
For Maps, Circulars and further Information, apply
to or address .. NJ. BARNES,
Land Commissioner, Lansing, Michigan.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1875-05-13
About Hating.

g Hate not. 1t is not worth while.
!. Your life is not long enough to make it
pay TO cherish ilI-will or hard thoughts
toward any one. What if that man
has cheated you, or that woman has
played you false? What if this friend
has forsaken you il your time of need,
or that one, having won your utmost
confidence, your warmest love, has
concluded that he prefers to consider
.andtreat you as stranger: Let it all
pass. What difference will it make to
you in few years, when you go hence
TO the undiscovered countTy?" All
who ill-treat you now will be more sOr-
~ for it then, than you, even in your
deepest disappointment and grief, can
be. A few more smiles, a few more
tears, some pleasure, much pain, a lit.
tie longer hurrying and worrying
through the world, some hasty greet
ings, and abrupt farewells, and our
play will be played out" and. the in
jurer and the injured. will be ledAway,
and ere long forgotten. Is it worth
to hate each other? 30 ~ E-.f7efaa, a.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1875-05-13

Over sixty horses have arrived or
the ground for the Lexington, Ky.
races, which promises to be unusually
brilliant. Ten thousand dollars in pre-
miums will be offered.
The Republicans elected the Mayor
Chrk, Treasurer, Marshal and Asses
sOr in the municipal election OF Indian.
apolis Tuesday. ThesCOuncil will stand
III Republicans to 10 Democrats.
The American Tract Society up tC
1875 has printed Il, 100000 volumes oil
its various publicztions, besides ovei
/, $50, 900, 600 copies cftracls and periOdi.
cais.
/, o A Boston updcrtaker was made very
risd recently by being awakened at an
nnfinely hour by two inebriated per.
sons, who wished to order two "beers"
for themselves.
Statisticians set down only one
fourth of the inhabitants of the United
States as religious. This is shown in
the membership of churches, which is
less than 100000, out of a population
Of 10000, 900.
Suit has been brought against the
city of Boston by the assignees in bank
ruptcy of the estate of Mr.. Armstrong,
whose store was blown up to prevent
the spread of the great fire, to recover
$40, 200, the value of the stock and the
unexpired Lease. No one has been
found to acknowledge the responsible.
~ for blowing up the premises.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1875-05-13
Mis2llaneons.
A Grasshopper Story.

lDenver News. -...-..-,' -i.,sr. ~
The fellow who came in from the st.
Vrain day or two ago, and solemnly
averred that there were seventeen
thousand grasshoppers in that valley,
Was trifie short in his reckoning. La
ter advices from that region inform us
that the ST. Vraiu river is literally
black from bank To bank with floating
gr.lsshoppers. One ranchenlan, who
had over two hundred acres OF wheat
ia nice growing condition, will be COM
pletely stripped off his crop, the young
grasshoppers have gone through his
heId like a prairie fire. These pests
are described as very diminutiye in
size-not more than an eighth OF, an
inch in length-but, like the sands OF
. the sea, the cannot be .nunbured. BY
! actual count in the ST. Vrain valley,
there are 1900, coo, ,00O, 900, ,000, 900 Of
/ grasshoppeis now at work upon the
crops of that locality. -- IN. rge 8, -
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1875-05-13

Nc IN of the 100 Choice Selections Is ready
sNVs " Price 30 cts The Series low contains
ONE THOUS lND of the latest and best things
for Eeclanations, humorous REGULATIONS. Fam
| fly Headings, etc. Capitai Tor G-ansers. Tenn
penuce Societies and LyceuIns, Also, Excel
sior dialogues and 'NoderA Dialogues Circu-
lars free Get OF your bookseller, or send price
10 Garrett & Co., 705 Chestnut ST., Phila., Pa.
We make the celebrated PENN LET FER BOOK
for copy ing letters without press or water. Ag's
wanted.
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1875-05-13
Anecdote of Washington.

This anecdote of Washington appear
ed in an English Magazine in 1928:
During his administration as Presi-
dent of the United States, gentleDan,
friend of the President Throughout
the whole course of the Revolutionary
war, applied for q, lucrative and respon-
sible Office. Tke gentleman was at all
times We leo ne to WashingtOn's table.
. He had been to certaiQ degree Eeces-
sary to the domestic repOse Of a man
who had for seven years fought the
battles of his country, and now under
ken the task of welding her political
energies. At all times and in all places
Washington regarded his Revolution
airy associate with an eye of evident
lHrtiality and confidence. e =
4 He. was a joyiai, pleasant and unob-
strusiye ecoInpanion.zzIBz,a applying for
the office ii WAS in the full confidence
of success, and his friends already
ebeered him in the prosped Ufshis ar
riSalsat npeteficy and ease.
The opponent of this gentleman was
known to be decidedly hostile to the
politics of Washington. He bad even
Etnade himself coilspiotlotlsI among the
ranks of the opposition. He had how
ever, the temerity to stand as candi-
late for the Office 10 which the friend
and favorite of Washington aspired.
He had nothing to urge in favcr of his
preiensions but strong integrity, ,promp-
titudeand fidelity in business, aud ev-
cry quality which, if called into exer-
else, would render service to the State.
Every one considered The appoint
ment of this man hopeless. No fiatier-
ing testimonial of merit had he to pre-
sent to the eye of Washington. He
was opposed bya favorite of the Gen
eral; and yet with such fearful odds he
dared to stand as Il candidate. What
Mas the result? The enemy fnf Wash
ington was appointed tothe Office, and
his table com pSnion left destitute and
rejected.
A mutual friend, who interested
himself in the affair, ventured to re-
monstrate with the President for the
injustice Of his appointment. "My
friend" said he, II receive with cor.
{ dial welcome. He is welcome to my
house and welcome to my heart But,
with all his good qualities, he is not n
man of business. His opponent Is,
with all his political hostility to me, a
man Of business. My private feelings
8 have nothing to do in this case. j am
not George Washington, but President
of the United States. AZ George
Washington, 1 would do this man any
kindness in my power;but as President
of the United States can do nothing -
Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1875-05-13
CROOKED BOOTS AND SHOES.

YONS PATtNT metallic STIFFFNERS
IL keep them straight, prevent running over,
wearing of unevenIy ON the siies, ripping
In the seams; make a boot last half |, uger.
sold and applied by Boot aud Shoe Dealers md
Manuiaclurers everywhere. Agents wanted.
Sample pair, % cents One doven s2, with des-
cripIIve circulars. Sent 10y mail receipt OF
price. Can be apply ed by any one III any Time.
Manufactured b, n. LYON, 81 Slate and |
Green streets. Albany, New York.