Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-07-22
/" About Iee-Cream."


He slipped into an ice -cream saloon very
softly, and when the girl asked him what
he wanted he replied:
" Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickles and
mince pie"
This is not restaurant, this is an ice
cream parlor," she said
Then what did you ask me what
wanted for? Why didn't you bring on
your ice-cream 2"
She went after it, and as she returned he
continued:
You see, my dear girl, you must infer
you must reason. 1t isn't likely that
would come into AN ice-cream parlor to
buy grindstone, is its You didn't think
came in here to ask if you had any baled
hay, did your
She looked at him in great surprise, and
he went on:
"If | owned hardware store and you
came in, would infer that you came for
something in my line. wouldn't step
out and ask You If you wanted to buy
mule, would ~"
She went away highly indignant. An
old lady was devouring dish of cream at
the next table, and the stranger, after
watching her for moment called out:
My dear woman, have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dish?"
Mercy! MOI" she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
"Well, I'm glad of itl'' he continued.
:" If you find any just let me know"
She looked at him for half minute,
picked up the spoon, laid ii down again,
and then ross up and left the room. She
must have said something to the pro-
prietor, for he came running in and eX-
claimed:
"Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice.cream?"
mo, sir"
You didntf"
mo, sir, did not; merely requested
her, in case she found any such ingredients,
to inform met"
well, sir, that was IA mean trick"
:" My dear sir" said the stranger, sMil-
ing softly, did you expect me TO ask the
woman If she had found Crow-bar or
sledge.hammer in her creamY 1t Is inn
possible, sir, for such articles 10 be hidden
away in such small dishes!''
The proprietor went away growing,
and as the stranger quietly supped away
AT his cream two young ladies came in, sat
down near him and ordered cream and
cakes. He waited until they had eaten q
little, and then he remarked;
~ Beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar In the taste OF this
cream?p
They tasted smacked their lips, and
were not certain.
Does il taste to you as if plug of to-
bacco had fallen into the freezer" he
asked.
"Ahl kah!' they exclaimed, dropping
their spoons and trying 10 spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and 1t
wasn't long before the proprietor rushed
in.
"See here, what in blazes are you talk
ing about?" he demanded. "What do you
mean by plug tobacco In the freezer"
Ny kind friend, ! asked the ladies If
this cream tasted Of plug tobacco. | don't
taste any such taste, and | don't believe
you used bit of tobacco In III"
"Well, YOU don't want to talk that way
around here" continued the proprietor.
Ny ice.cream IL pure, and the man who
says Il isn't tells bold liet"
He went away again, and woman with
long neck and sad face sat down and
said to the girl that she would take
small dish OF lemon ice.
1T HdB Ulpughty hbh hha tAnt' "'""s
two mouthfuls when the stranger in
quired:
Excuse me, madam, but do you know
how this cream was made--have you an
idea that they grated turnip and chalk
with the cream w
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up,
wheeled around and made for the door.
The stranger followed after and, by great
good luck, his coat-tails cleared the door
an instant too soon TO be struck by five
pound box of figs, hurled with great force
by the indignant proprietor. As he reached
the curb-stone he halted, looked at the
door of the parlor and soliloquized:
There are times when people should
infer, and there are times when they
shouldn't ] suppose If had asked that
woman If she thought they hashed up
saw.mill In the cream she'd have felt q
circular-saw going down her throat. -
Detroit Free Press.