The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1875-12-29
WISE. AND OTHERWISE.


WISE AND OTHERWISE.
The original Cardiff giant is no more. He
fell the other day and broke his back, and
now there are two of him.
Ninety-nine years in the penitentiary is
what a Missouri murderer got. One year
more would have made his case hopeless.
A Chicago preacher has been offered more
money to write a novel that his whole years
salary amounts to. Satan is always flush.
Just now-this week-the average wife
wouldn't Jaw back under any consideration.
She is looking for that silk dress, you know.
The reduction of the wages OF telegraph
operators is not particularly electrifying to
them. The magnet draws the wrong way /.
A South Carolina paper is conducting a
vigorous crusade against life insurance,
which 1t stigmatizes as gambling against
God.
address Luther Beecher, of Detroit. He has
a big one there which he could ship by sec
tions.
Troy has already gathered in good sup
ply of ice. 1t is narrow minded, thin
WASTED ice, but good enough to cool Troy
butter.
Three women at Lawrence, Kansas, claim
the same baby and are having a lawsuit over
1t. Group, measels and collie must be scarce
in that town.
William Cullen Bryant insists that men
have right to cross their legs in street
cars, but admits that straight legs look bet
ter in church.
There are no regular professional bur-
glars in Mexico City, but each resident
looks out for his neighbor, and in many
cases kills him.
The vital statistics of this country prove
that woman will spend more time to hide
a pimple on her forehead than she will take
to take care of seven children.
Mr.. Paradox is not what you may con-
slider an Incorporate man, by any means,
but he calls on the old lady once in a while
for the boot-jack to draw his hat off with.
And still another man is to collect George
d. Prentiss' jokes and publish them in
book form. They were all good jokes once,
but some of them have been collected to
death.
1t was discovered in New York the other
day that 1900 pounds of coal made ton,
and the man who invented that arithmetic
was walked around by the ear and landed
in Jail.
The Philadelphia Times wants some
speedier way to kill off murderers. Hang
ing man is slow death, to be sure, but it
leaves him in good condition for the under
taker.
If you want to murder anybody 60 to
Boston to do it. There will undoubtedly be
some one on the jury who will stick to it
that your victim fell from Bunker Hill
monument.
A Scotchman has invented Indis-rubber
platforms for railway cars, and instead of
smash passengers will bounce up, come
down and pursue the journey with un-
broken shins.
A New York lady sdvertises that she
wants to borrow seven thousand dollars on
her good looks. Beauty is q beautiful
thing, but a mortgage on real estate is more
business like.
A Boston bigamist has been "let Off on
condition that he will return to his first
wife. Probably the judge thought he would
get his punishment in that way without ex-
pense to the state.
Clara Louise Kellogg denies the report
that she is to marry New Yorker. She
says 1t will be time enough to think of
marrying twenty years hence, when she Is
too old for the stage.
"There are now on the way to San Fran
cisco, by sea, 4, 3S1 barrels Of whisky, which
is expected to reach there before the legisla-
ture adjourns." Either that or there'll be
an extra session called.
A Cleveland drunkard the other day
chewed up a 500 bill. When drunksrds have
500 bills to squander in that way, a man
who has "sworn off" for q year feels little
Disguised with himself.
The most reasonable theory in the Boss
Tweed case Is that some one stole him away
to hold him for a big reward. It doesn't
seem as II man would run away from
home just at Santa Claus time.
Nevada has passed a law forbidding any
person practicing as physician in that
state who has not practiced medicine there
for five years, or does not hold a diploma
from an established medical college.
A baker at Binghampton, New York.
sent two barrels of crackers to the president,
and for several months expected to be called
to the cabinet. He then discovered that the
crackers had been sold to a negro in default
of freight chseges.
A tall man IN IN Ulster looks from fair to
middling, brit he should never wear high
hat. A little man in an Ulster looks too
silly for anything, and is really an object OF
pity. Tall women in Derby hats look like
dressed up ten-pins, and little women in
overwhelming flare bonnets look alarm
ingly top-heavy.
"To-day saw old Gen. Suffer, on whose
land gold was first discovered in California
stepping out of car on the avenue. A more
pitiable instance of great old age, unaccom-
panied and neglected, never knew. He Is
now more than so years Of age, and lives In
a little cottage at Litiz, Penn, where ne Is
educating his grandchildren at q German
school. He has claim for damages here
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