The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1875-07-17
WIT AND WISDOM.

WAI AND Wl5DOM.
How much d,es a fool usually weigh ,
a simple ton.
The most noble feeling Of the heart is
true love.
A man without money Is like bird with
out wings, OF ship without sails.
Are there any fools in this city p asked
a stranger Of newsboy. "No; DO you
feel lonesome 2"
To Archbishop Whately is ascribed this
paradox The larger the income the har-
der it is to live within it.
A witty lady once remarked III notice
that these 'women's righls' people are al
ways mems lefts
Young married couples should have their
home built round, so that, dlscontent can
find no corner in il.
The fiddler Of A minstrel oompanv rar
away the other day in debt to the manager.
at which the manager facetiously declared
that he had engaged the fellow for a I'D
dler, but he had taken the BART w base
yiOlinist
a bride was recently described by re-
porter Az ''a young lady with Blue eyes
dressed 10 black The Bridegroom IA now
pursuing that reporter with the deter
minatlon "a putting head On him, with
eyes varlsared colors.
In Vienna they have a single word for
tact which was very common with them
during the late unusual severe winter.
yls, the bursting of a water-pipe This il
the~ord-Hochquellenwasserhefurungsr- the word
ohrenfatalitaten.
4 SURPRISE FoR BorH.-He blushed a
fiery red her heart went pit-a-pat sbe
gently hung her head and looked down at
the mat. He trembled III his speech he
rose from where he sat- and shouted with
a screech, you're sitting on my hat.
A professor who stated that one cannot
taste IN the dark. as nature intends ms 10
see our food, was Disconnected ~ stu
dents eKclalmng, How about a blind
mans dinner f' But he recovered him
self, and answered, Nature has provided
hlm wl.h eye-teeth sir.
No, gentlemen IF the jury, Numbered
New Jersey lawyer, ''this point "A not
for you but for his Honor 20 decide. who
sits there sleeping w sweetly AN w ex-
claimed the Judge opening his eyes.
your narcotic speech would put anybody
to sleep
THE song OF rHE WASHINGTON cHERUB
want wv ". a ring man.
And wirh ring to stand
fh hrA-- uTiun mi forehead.
And grr-Inack- tu m. hand.
'I'd Almost a. suou die as W live on. this
way, signed Mr. Nlilars 'Sit down TO
your dinner, Rosamynd- such "A II is MA
have liked 70 set "a good Joint Of meat be-
fore You, but thc butcher says. up ana
down, as plain a. a pike-staf. that until
that back bills settled he'll trust no fur
ther
A lady who was IN the habit of spending
much uf her time III the society ~ her
nelghbors happened one day 60 be taken
suddenly i'll, and sent her husband, il
great haste, for the physician The hus-
band ran a few rods, but soon returned ex-
claiming MY dear, where shall find
you when ! get back IT,
The last best fruit. which comes " late
perfection, even in the kindhest soul, il
tenderness towards the hard, forbearance
towards the unfortunate, warmth Of heart
towards the cold, and philanthropy towards
the mlsanthropic.
Little Bessie is the fve-y year-old daugh-
ter of a Portland lady who married clergy
man not long since. When her father was
away and she was playing in the yard,
stranger came along and inquired If the
minister was at home. "No.' she replied
''but mother is III the house ana she will
pray with you, you poor, miserable sinner.
Two gentlemen calling at the house Of
one who bore the name Ot Fish, and OBJ
serving the portraits of the children Of the
family on the walls, one W them remark
ed to his companion, ''Sardines. yes"
replied the other little fishes done ia
oil.
A good Definition Of the difference be-
tween the cold school" and ''new school"
was given by the Hon. ~ b. Grinnell, Of
Iowa. GAS near As ! can understand" "
said he, ''the children Ut OLd school Pres
byterlans sin as soon as they are born, and
the children of He,r school Presbyterans az
soon as they know how.
A Broad street, Newark, physician was
called upon last week tO attend a seamstress
who felt indisposed. He inquired as TO
her health, and she responded very appro-
priately, well, 1t 5 apout seir. setr, Doctor,
but seams worse to-day. ana have fire.
quent stitches IN the side. The doctor
hemmed, as he felt her pulse said she
would mend soon and left prescription
An American gentleman was riding on
the top Of coach, in the Trossacks, IN
company with tive enthusiastic Scotchmen,
who had never been there before Pass
in a sheet of water one of them exclaimed
to the other, Look, Sandy, there's Loeb
Lommond, and turning To the American,
he said ''have ye ony thing like thot in
America F' "Oh yes, replied he, why
we have lakes there that we sall on for days,
without seeing land ~ ''Ogh ,' grunted
the Scotchman as he turned 70 his compan-
ION, "he's $ leeing Nonkee.'
A Washington dispatch says: The inte-