The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1875-08-28
HUMOROys.
A coffin is wanted for a diving echo

The Troy goats have taken to eating
newspapers off front stoops. -
When a man has house lot on which
he cannot pay the taxes he has site
too much.
Why is dew like falling star ? One
Is mist on earth, and the other missed
from heaven.
Why is solar eclipse like a woman
whipping her boy? Because It's
hiding of the sun.
What is the difference between the
North and South Pole. A the differ.
ence In the world.
Why have chickens no hereafter :?
Because they have their necks twirled
(next world) in this. =
When will there be only twenty.fiye
letters in the alphabet? When ycu
and are made one.
Why Is q lawyer like restless man in
bed Because he first lies on one side
and then on the other.
Mother-in-law'' Is the name of a
new mixture of ale. 1t is old and Bit
ter, and comparatively few can swal-
low it. =.
My face Ia rugged, but I'm wealthy
Will you have me, said he. eyes, In
deed it's knotty, but it's nice,h said
she.-St. Louis Globe Democrat,
Ma" said a small boy, approach-
ing his mother and exhibiting unmis-
taKaDie symptoms of severe pain In
the sne bowels |" "do green apples groy in
An innocent young man from Rustic.
ny, who entered South street drug
store as clerk last week, was heard TO
ask young party who called for soda
have
a Catskill exchange says "Tbere
isn't any Overlook House now. hut n
man keeps q shsnty up there and
charges twenty-five cents for lemon
ades, and he is about as near heaven
as he will ever get"
A somewhat illterate Thomas street
woman, having read in poem about
SIMEON that "swept the plains" is
urging her husband to get one O. them
new,,iangled things for her to use in
her kitchen. u =
A lady correspondent, who assumes
10 know how boys ought to be trained
wrltes as follows: "Oh, mothers /!
nunt out the soft, tender, genial side of
your boy's nature" Mothers often do
= with an old shoe.
~ Inc fiddler Of minstrel company
ran away the other day in debt to the
manager, at which the manager faceti-
onsly declared that he had engaged the
Ieliow for q fiddler, but he had taken
the part of q base violinist.
An awfnl fate has overtaken a Texas
lawyer The Bonham Enterprise saws |:
Joe Dnpree made his first speech on
tuesday, assisting Capt. Smith in the
prosecution OF Alex. Rodgers. The
Jury sentenced him to be hanged.
The newspapers state that a we'll.
known banker of Paris has absconded,
leaving Q defict behind. Mrs. Parting
ION thinks that II was very good Of the
poor man to leave 1t, when he might
nave got of clear with everything.
Little Alice was crying bitterly, and,
on being questioned, confessed to hav-
lng received a slap from one of her
playiellows. You should have re-
turned IT, unwisely said the question
er. " Oh, | returned it before" said
the little girl
Kingston girls aye opposed to intro.
oncing the letter-carrier system in that
city. 1.-The idea |" says one of them,
"of having letters left at the bonse
Ihen we cant go to the post Office,
and went have any excuse for going
down town.-Rome Sentinel.
A child, when told that God is every.
where, asked, In this room % Yes.
In the closer q Yes In the draw.
ers of my desk p 'Yes everywhere
He's in your pocket pow.' mo bt
sin't though And why not !?
Tauth ! amt dot no pottet.i'' '"' :
A boy in the suburbs tried to ascer-
tain the other day the soundness OF thu
proverb " Birds Of feather flock to
gether." He plucked the old rooster
down to a single tail feather, and i
didn't flock at all, but went and hit
under the barn. Thus is another ole
saw smashed. '''
A country clergyman, Just recover.
ing from the effects of a severe boil OF
his nose, stopped an urchin near For
Green, yesterday, and asked him th,
way TO the corner of Fulton and ClIn
ton streets. The lad glanced at hin
spspiciously moment and said
= Well, yer needn't go there, mister
there amt no gin mill on that corner
brooklyn Argus.
A couple Of neighbors became SO hos