davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03
Mimicing a Preahecr.

In the days Of Whitefield, when hundred.
were converted by his preaching, "Iewd
men OF the baser sort loved to indulge in
ridicule of religion, making sport of the
earnest preacher. \ merry band of carous.
ers gathered, one evening, in an inn in
Yorkshire, and cracked many Joke over
their cups. At length ono of them, to add
to the merrimcnt, proposed to take off
Whitefeld's preaching.
lie was famous mimic. and could
reproduce TO perfection the gestures and
tones, and even the words of the preacher
A Bible was brought, he mounted the
table for pulpit, and turned the leaves Of
the holy book for text His eyes fell on
the words, Except ye repent. We shall all
likewise perish
The company laughed and applauded
his wonderful limitations of the tones and
manner of the great preacher: but soon
the laughter ceased. They looked nm in
surprise and terror, for the speaker seemed
terribly in earnest. His words were solemn.
and took hold of their consciences. and
his appeals started their fears. A nro-
found silence spread over the bar-room.
The spirit Of God was too strong for the
mimic, John Thrope The mock sermon
vas the means of his conversion and he
vent away from the scene of merrimcnt to
begin new life.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

AuTuMN.-The curfew tolls the lSnell Of
parting day, the lowing clam sails sowlv
DER the sea, the hard crab seaward takes
his backward way, and leaves the town to
oysters and to me. The day of the suoou.
lent erustacean is over, and the deatb.rattIo
is heard in the throat of the luxative water.
melon. Peaches-oh peaches-are in tho
sere and yellow leaf, and the first of the rood
birds and blue wings are being sacrificed
upon sweetly buttered toast. The weekly
record of the defunct no longer shows the
same demand for small cofiins, and the
florists are making up their white flowers
after different fashion. The oysters are
surprisingly good for the season, and on the
halfshell are firm enough to cheR, if they
come from York river. What with canvas
backs, read heads, terrapin and such yepe.
tables and drinkables as the miserable eII
mate produces, we supposewe shall MANAGE
70 . worry through the winter somehow.
baltimore Bulletin,
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

An enterprising undertaken in a town
near New London discovered one day
recently that wealthy stranger in town
was dangerously sick, and scenting a lob,
went to work without any orders maxine
an elegant coffin for him. TO his disgust.
however, the sick man, soon after the
coffin was done, began to recover.
and the Undertaker's friends began to
laugh at him. The invalid, however. had
relapse on account of sudden exposuro
and fell away again, but seeing that his end
was near desired his wife to take him to bis
homo in Western New York to die. This
stirred up the undertaken, and he went ~
the woman and urged her to buy coffin to
take with her, as he might die on the wov
and it was best to be prepared for onv
event. His eloqucnce prevailed and tbo
coffin was purchased,
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03
VOLUME XXI.---NO. 23.
KEEP A STIFF UPPER LIP.

There has something gone wrong,
My brave boy, it appears.
For see the proud struggle
To keep back the tears
That is right. When you cannot
Give trouble the slip.
Then bear it, still keeping
a stiff upper lip"
Though you cannot escape
Disappointment and care,
The next best thing to do
Is to learn how to bear.
1fwhen for life's prizes
You're running you trip
Get up, start again
Keep a stiff upper lip!
Let your hand and your conscience
Be honest and clean.
Scorn to touch or think of
The thing that is mean:
But hold on to the pure
And the right with firm grip,
And though hard be the task,
Keep stiff upper lipm
Through childhood, through manhood.
Through life to the end.
Struggle bravely and stand
By your colorS, my friend,
Only yield when you must:
Never give up the Ship!
But light on TO the last
with a stiff upper lipw
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

Conversation between Cincinnati voung
ladies'" She's the most disagreeable girl 7
evers saw" Yes, and the proudest, though
her father packed only hundred hogs last
year"
Touching conclusion of an obituary notice
IN an Indiana newspaper: "He was an
elder in the Methodist church. and tho
leader of the brass band in the VILLAGE
There is something wrong in educat;on
when we give women nothing but drass -
think about, and then condemn tbom
because they think of nothing else.
lie put an enemy in his mouth to st0o,
a, away his brains, but the enemy, after a
thorough and protracted search roturno1
without anything. ' '''N
An Indiana man recently hanged himself
ior fear that he might become prev 10
suicidal mania if he lived.
Two cats over one mouse, two wivo. n
one house, and two lovers after one vornn
lady never agree
de has the largest life who lives lov;no,v
n the hearts of the largest number %
people, 'A'ss os
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

servant; suppose, maam, shall not
have to wait at table?" Lady: 90 not
| want housemaid." Servant; UI SIM.
pose' m"'am, shall not have to make the
beds?" Lady, surprised, but composodlv.
Certainly not" Servant, thinking the
place will suit;) "And suppose, ma'om I
shali not be expected to answer the door9o
Lady; "of course not The fact is. I want
a servant to look at, and don't think you
will To- Punch.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

SILK CrhTrRE IN PENxsYLvAN1A.-The
Philadelphia Times states that the matter
OF silk culture in Pennsylvania is receiving
considerable attention at the present time,
a meeting was recently held at Bryn Mawr.
at which DIR. Chamberlame read an interes.
'img ana instructive paper on the raising of
SILK IN pennsylvania. After stating a
number OF facts in this connection, the
doctor showed that a superior article of
silk had been made in several parts of that
State, and that only the wild speculation in
trees and the consequent financial disasters
prevented silk culture from being estab-
hshed upon permanent basis at that time.
II these are avoided and true course DUR
sued, there are no reasons why silk should
not be cultivated in Pennsylvania in such
quantities as to make it fully remuneratiye.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

REV. MIR. MANsHIr AcQIrrED.-In Phila
deiphia, Rev. Andrew Manship, the well
known Methodist preacher, was sued by
Charles W. White and wife to recover
penalty for marrying their daughter while
she was under age. 1t was alleged that
while the daughter was not II years of ace.
she was married by Manship to William
Sharkey, who was also a minor, and the
marriage was kept secret from her parents
for seven months. The defence alleged
that at the time of the marriage Mr.
Sharkey was of legal age, and that Manship
was deceived by false statements as to the
age of Miss White. Verdict for Mr.. Man.
ship,
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03
WHOLE NO. l,O7l.

lie found large black snake coiled up
under that old sitting duck, the reptile
having swallowed the twelve eggs. He
Oeheaded the intruder, cut him open,
removed the eggs, restored them to the
care OF the plucly bird, and in due season
eleven OF the dozen Matched. The story
comes from old Kentucky, and the Owen
Ncws vouches for its truth.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

Mark the contrast-forty years ago yes.
terday mob was trying to hang man in
the streets of Boston because he was a
friend of the "d-d niger" Yesterday
mornining gang of forty odd men were at
work IN the streets of Boston with "d-d
niggar for boss. Such is life.-Bost9n
HcraM Oct 2GH.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

A little boy of four years, standing in
the moonlight by his sister, aged six, said
to her, Isn't God good man, Nelly, to
give us such beautiful moon" "Oh.
Freddie said the sister, in earnest remon,
STRANGE, "don't call God man, for if ever
there was a gentleman, I'm sure God is
One!' Fact-Chrtstta, Tj,ion.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03
A Noble Wife.

During the revolution in Poland wbicI
followed the revolution of Thaddeus Kos
ciusco, many OF the trucst and best of the
sons OF that ill-fatcd country were forced tC
nee Tor their lives, forsalling home and
friends. One Of those who had been most
eager for liberty of Poland, and most bite,
IN the enmity against Russia and Prussia
been a king a hundred and fifty years
before.
Sobieski had two sons in the natriot
ranks, and father and sons had been Of
those who persisted i'll what the Russians
pleased to term rebellion, and price had
been set upon their heads.
The Archduke Constantine was eager to
apprehend Micheal Sobieski, and learned
that the wife of the Polish hero was at her
home in CracOw, and he waited upon her.
Madam, he said, speaking, politely.
Tor the lady was queenly, ~ think Won
know where your husband and sons are
hiding"
" know, sir
~" tcII me WHefe your husband is
your sons shall be pardoned."
:" And shall be safe?"
" Yes, madam. | swear it. Tell mo
where your husband is concealed. and botl,
you and your sons shall be unharmed.o
Then, sir, answered the noble woman
flslng with a dignity sublime, and LAYING
her hand upon her bosom, she lies con.
cealed herein the heart of his wife-and
you Will have to tear this heart to find
him.
lyrant as he was, the Archduke admired
'he answer, and the spirit which had in
'rred it, and deeming the good will of such
a woman worth securing, he forthwith pub
llshed a pardon Of the father and sons
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

NORTH CAROLINA AND TIE CENTENNIAL
The Western North Carolina Land Com.
pany has shipped to Philadelphia, for the
centennial exhibition, more than fifty varie-
ties OF lumber, nine boxes of minerals, over
one hundred varieties of herbs and roots.
together with many of the cereals, all the
products of Western North Carolina.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03


CHOOSING HUSBANDS AND WIvEs.-Of one
thing girls may be sure, and that is that
the young men who make the best SONS
and brothers will also make the hest Inns.
bands. And young men may be equally
sure that those girls who are the best
daughters and sisters will also, as a rule. be
the best wives. Ifa young man, before he
Is married, is destitute of these affections
and principles which come out in flioI
obedience, traternal courtesy, and con.
trolling sense of duty, he will be EQUALLY as
destitute OF them after he is married The
mere fact of wedlock will not chance tho
fundamental principles of his nature. He
will be essentially the same human beino
after marriage-or, at least, after the honey.
moon-that he was before it. The same
principles hold true with regard to women.
She who Is selfish, and vain and idle. and
deceitlul as girl, will pretty apt to be the
curse OF the man who marries her. While
the girl is dutiful to her parents, and in.
dustrious, and unselfsh and truthful. will
almost certain to be a blessing to him who
gets her for a wife.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

worthy Young lover once sought for his bride
dame of the bluestocking school;
Excuse me- dear sir, but I've vowed She replied.
That never would marry a fool"
Then think not of wedlock" he answered. "mv fair
Your vow was Diana's suggestion,
since none but fool, it is easy to swear,
Would venture to ask you the question"
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

FASTEST RIDING on REcoRD.-At the
waco, Texas, fair last week, r. A. Ford
rode sixty miles in two hours and forty.nine
minutes, using forty.two common Texas
horses This is tho fastest time on record
Tor the distance. He made the last mile in
two minutes seven seconds.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

Cambridge is proud of young woman so
innocent and pure-minded that she re.
marked to her intended the day previous
to their marriage: "Now mindl I won't
have a baby brought into the house!"
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

LOVER AND llUsBAND.-Perhaps there is
no more painful time in woman's life
than the time of transition when the
asslduous lover is passing into the matter.
of-fact husband, and the wooer is eroduallv
changing into the master. Women, who
are so much more sensitive than men. more
sentimental too. and less content to trust
IN silence to an undcmonstrative affection.
are Tor the most part happy only while
they are being made love to. 1t is not
enough to be loved; they want to be told
so twenty times day, and to have the
harmomeS OF life enriched by crowd of
" occasional notes, embroiderinc tbe solid
substance by which they live. Men, on the
contrary, get tired of making love- When
they have wooed and won. they are content
to be quiet, and to take all the rest for
granted. They are not cold however. be-
cause they are secure and to most, and
those the best, practical kindness i better
than hattery, security ranks before excite.
ment and hysteria, and life passed in
serene friendship, fearing no evil, knowing
no break, and needing no praisng, is better
than life passed in perpetual turmoil of
passion, where there are scenes and teore
and doubt and broken hearts, if there are
not endless courtshipand fatiguing demon.
stratiOns,
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

pretty explanation that is !" And again she
turned away from the gate
Stop! Let me tell you. Can't Won
listen minute? ?" said Hiram in despera.
ton. lie felt there was no other way than
TO make clean breast of it, and plunged
INTO his work at once. Word for word he
related the conversation he had heard in
the horse-barn, and the effect it had upon
nm. lie was deeply in earnest, and in
closing humbly appealed for forgiveness.
lie saw her tremble and put her hands to
her face Poor girl, she pitied him! His
heart rose, and his hand was upon the gate
10 open 1t, when peal of laughter, louder
ana longer from being so long pent up,
rang outupon the night air. almost startling
Hiram out of his boots and wakino tho
deacon and his wife from sound sleep in
the upper front bedroom.
Up went the window, and, a nightcapped
head was thrust out, with the demand os 70
what was the matter. Still Jenny launched
while Hiram stood silent by the gate angry
and ashamed, not knowing whether to
advance or go back. At last Jenny found
her voice
&" Go home, Hiram Jenkins" said she.
say your prayers and go to sleep, and if YOU
want to say anything more to me, come I'M
tomorrow evening after supper. But
mlnd' don't go listening at any horse-barns
on your way home; and she went off in
another peal of laughter.
Hiram did not wait to say good night.
whether he slept or said his PRAYERS that
night it is not recorded. but il is an
established fact that eight o'clock the next
evening found him in Deacon Bates porlor
The interview was long and probably an
interesting one, and its immediate result
was that before Thanksgiving the deacon
had neither Jenny in the house nor in |
the barn.
That was years ago, and Hiram has since |
done the town some service as selectman. |
and Is likewise a dignifed Justice of the |
Peace. But in the midst of lis dirnities
ana honors, If he ever happens to insist
upon having his own way, the threat of
telling about the horse-barn brings him 70
terms at once. 1t is the one check TO his
lndependence-the magic charm by virtue
OF which Mrs. Hiram Jenkins wields tho
household sceptre.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

A woman cured her husband of staving
out late at night by going to the door when
he came home and whispering through the
keyhole, SIS that you, Willie?" Her
husbands name is John, and he stays at
home every night now, and sleeps with one
eye open and a revolver under his pillow
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

PA, guess our man Ralph is a good
Christian "How so, my boy?" "Why,
pa read in the Bible that the wicked
shall not live out half his days; and Ralph
says he has lived out ever since he was a
little boy"
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

The Rutland, VT, Herald says; "The
horse disease is rapidly spreading in the
surrounding country. Tan bark is recon-
mended for horses suffering from the
epizootic. 1t has been tried and found
successful as cure,
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

An English merchant, writing to an agent
in Africa, requested him to send Il or ~
monkeys, and as he wrote careless hand.
he shortly afterwards received 1902
monkeys all alive and in good condition.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

\ precious boy was asked which was the
greater evil of the two, hurting another's
feelings or his fingers. He said the former.
Right my dear child" said the ques.
TONER " and why is it worse to hurt the
feelings?" Because you can't tie a rag
round them" exclaimed the dear child.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

The humors Of the county fairs are begin.
nlng to crop out. One of the entries at the
Delaware county fair, in Iowa, was as
follows Three babies at one birth, Mrs.
{. Q. Hewitt" She took the premium.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

The Louisville Coarier.,Jouraql saws that
Protestants should devoutly pray by night
and by day that the alternative of Grant or
komanism may never be presented to
them"
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

The editor of the Bowmanville Statesman.
had man fined ten dollars for throwing
an INK bottle at him. Yet this editor has
been Singing ink at everybody else for
years-only he didn't sling it bottled up.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

A young man advertises in New York
paper for a situation as son.in.law in n rAs.
pectable family. He would have no obiec.
ton, he says, to go short distance into
the country.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

Miss Ida Demorest, whom the Grand
Duke Alexis considered the handsomest
woman in the United States, has married n
Nebraska doctor.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

Stingy Aunt" Well, have you enjoyed
yourself?" Robin" Oh, yes, aunt, but l
wish hadn't come. Brother Jim is to
cry halves ! when get home; and if I
say you didn't give me nothing, he'll punch
my head for telling story"
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

HE DURATION OF HARD TNES-Tbo ri.
"'oc says; The hard times have now lasted
TWO iuIl years. The extreme point of de
preston may or may not have been reached
here Is no intalliblc test. Former oxnor.
fence teaches that the process of recovery
Is not rapid one, but in the nature Of
things ITS commencement cannot be lone
delayed. England is the country which
most nearly resembles the United STATES IN
ITS methods of business and its banking sys,
tenn.
In England during the last ninety years
there have been seven or eight periods of
strongly marked depression in business
such as that through which we are PASSING
In no case, however, has the extreme mac.
ton lasted three full years. BY the end of
the third year the exports and imports. the
revenues of the Government, and the rate
OF interest have invariably begun to mark
some improvement.
Smyrna times., 1875-11-03

CENTENNIAL LIGnTs.-The Centennial
Light Association is the name of a new
organization which proposes to erect street
lamp posts in Paramount Park. These aro
to be secured by subscription. and presented
to the Commissioner of the Park and
Mayor The posts will be thirteen sided a.
the base, with a star in relief for each &c
the original thirteen States. Risino from
'hIS Is a sheaf Of the staple products of our
country-corn, wheat, rye. oats cotton and
sugar. These are bound in the centre with
band of reeds and thirty-cight stars sym.
oollzlng the present number of the States
and clasped with the national coat Of arm
and on the flags l77G and 1876" Snrino.
ing llom the Sheaf is a flower vase, decorated
on the four sides with small medallion
HeaoS OF the slgners of the Declaration of
Independence. The design is to have two
sizes OF lamp posts; the smaller for general
use Will have four of the signers on each
post; the larger or clossal, will each be
made to represent one State. with the
medallion heads of all the signers of such
state upon it. and lamp for each head.
, 1875-03-03

Tho decision of the Supreme Court Of tho
United States, in q test case taken from
Michigan to that tribunal, tint stato has
tho right to tax land.grant lands whilo they
arc still in tho possession Of the railroat1 conf
pnnics, will have universal interest, as It will
placo upon the tax-'ist Thousands If not
millions of acres in States whero tho Stato
itself has not formally exempted tho
land It Inns granted to the roada
from taxation. In Illinois the decision
will hare 10 practical operation, as
the State in granting the 1nntls to tho roads,
formally waived taxation. But in States where
no such exemption has been made, 1t will
bring upon tho tax-list m Immense nmount
Of lind now lying idle and producing no row.
enuo either 10 tho road or to tho State. The
operation Of tho decision will practically be
benefit to tho whole people ns well as 10
tho roads, inasmucl, as tho latter, rnthor tllan
to pay taxcs upon nproductivelands, will put
thon into the market moro rapidly md at
cheaper prices, SO as to induce people to
take them up and improve them, which In
tho end would bo benefit to the rond.
, 1875-03-03

suit Of the speculation excited by tl,s pro-
posed increase Of taxes. As tile Tax bill first
proposed 10 tax whisky in bond, tlero wns d
rush to get the whisky on hnntl ont Of tho
bonded warehouses; anl turn II over to the
retail-dcalcrs. An unnatural atimulua Inns
also been given to tho varioua branches Of
importing In order to got tho stores we'll
stocked will. goods, whereby tho 1en1ers
wonld enjoy tho benefit designed to be &C.
cured for tho Government Thus the eifcct
Of tho bill, whether 1t passes or not, Inns
bcen to stimulate tho rovcnuo for brief pes
riod, only to bo followed by unusual dnllness.
OF co,lrsc, the ilullness will be greater IL tho
bill rnsscs thau If 1t does not pass; in tho
latter case, tho importing whisky and to-
bacco trades will gradually resume their
natural condition; but, in case tho bill be-
comes a Jaw, tho increased duties will stop
inportations for Soma tinc to come; and tho
tax OH new whisky will stop distilling to some
extent and cnuso fraud in the revenue to q
Gronter extent.
, 1875-03-03

The Leya! Ntot Of tbs 27th ult. contains
the full text Of the decision by Justice Mn-
1RR, Of the United States Supreme Court,
which impugna tho validity Of many bonds
!ssued by Illinois municipalities. The Legis-
iature OF Kansas passed al aot which beoame
law Feb. 20, 1879, by which the legislative
bodies of certain cities (auong them Topeka)
were authorized to issue bonds or make np.
preparations "to encourage the establishment
Of manufactures and such other enterprises
as may tend to develop and improve their
respective cities. Grants Of mora than 81 900
woro prohibited, however, unles4 authorized
first by the Council and then by majority Of
votes cast at special election. Topeka issued,
Under this law, 100000 Of bonds and
gavo them to briage-buildfng concern in
that city. The legality Of the issue was al-
mitted, but the constitutionality Of the law
was denied. The Supreme Court decides
that tbs objsotioa vaa wall taksn, and tl1At
, 1875-03-03

4 1.:11 T.. .r...1:.... 1,.f... IT.
~ - -" p'uus A.. cu'o.o sAy 1es'sAsAfo
ps r. ~ oa ;1:.;s u ~, ~ ~ suu41H'lon
as..:a. ~ n ~ ~ % ,s"s," @ s'.' nl,s ~ s"' ~ ot''
pos...,n .'.'' W. e'..opou i'soli lne' 1asen
pa.'s . su1"s W. a"se nv olsan'zea lnlu'la IL
slla o'ase' srso !sS n.'.o so1ul'sopl co"pa"
.nss* Aa enr. ~ ~ 'g 4,; - ots1nlz1 VOL
;na .. \, 'ss ,,, - s't.a IVY ~ 1u' Masn ofsa'
41su M .u'su ~, wa ~ ~ ~" " tuo o'aso al,P'sc-
"olo ~ 80 soto.nea'. ~ e''Ss u 1ao'' III.
'.',ootuu, , s' w uo".s'1o ''o4o"ss ~ uny laf'
% u .ae quiz, .neEo 10 no oreani1ea 1ofce upon
y, "nicn tne oosesnor .. in'sns eall. 1here nus
.,,: oos. ,of son!e .'ll' utuon 4sw'sss o1sotaeF'
.ne.auas ., nusue4' s ~ oao VI tno aower
ss w., ~; . =. .as s.'.o' An' suea'u Wv enetan
:. A4 a n,1 e.sn poeao ltose 1to1e ~ suppress
~ "A Ae'so1e e'v"'1.y ~ NV huu psopetty'
~ uo,esn9f " ,n's ola'o "ou,a a nA'o 70 al'-
~ e.. ~ ~ on''ea e.a'es nor military ala' IN
-, - o.'se uass nas n'',.en OF moro 'otofs'
a'e y. . .snea!ou u.., " y !'a'' oo1on OF mora
+ss'men1 r y. u'''.'a auploe. ~ tue cal VI 'ne
1e' .,'e 'sssuus ~. W. e.ls'uoteo Ss,'ous
n.'."es .'. ~ .ne Aoee',cs .. .ne people, AooVo
u aai 1n'nss' a,a tao peoplo 0. thls osoto DO not
"An1 tns eAp'oyi in'he nolo OF any roaefa!
tsoo9a ~ eea1* y" hso'oea' Ano peop1e Oh