Litchfield enquirer., 1875-10-07
WHOLE NO. 25t7.4. t 4.
cLIPPsMcs.

| the strawberries. s
 ''Any letters fore Mike Howe?" asked an individual of a clerk at Q postofice window. "No letters for anybOdys cow
 When man has business that doesn't pay, he usually begins to look around for partner to share his losses with him.
 ''What kind of sassagss IS them7rasked an old lady of a young man of literature and peanuts, as he passed through the we always record with regres any In- stance of mans striking his sisteF-in- law. It ia a cruel intTmation to his wife's mother that he'll never marry in that family again. --.-.
 The Boston Free Pfess says that Joshua was the first man who ever stopped 8 newspaper. He stopped the daily sun We suppose hO- did SO hacause the war news did not suit him.
 A circus tiger is roaming around Brazil. Ind, and men who never stayed at homa an evening since they can remember, arc now to be found m the bosom of their families every night.
 Tn reply to young writer who wished to know (which magazine will give me the highest position quickessg" eOntem- porary advises "a powder magazine, if you contribute fiery article"
 A few days ago Norwich man bought chest of tea in Providence, and on open ing found stone inside weighing nearly eleven pounds. He remarked that the weighs of Providence are very mysteri- ouS.
 An exchange says''the Saudwich Island | der thinks that Beelzebub walks the earth in the form of woman" And BOW and then you will find man in this country who believes so too, and that he has mar ried that woman. "
 Nothing is so discouFzging t0 q yOang lawyer just as he waxes eloquent about angels tears, weeping willows and tomb stones, aS to be interrupted by the cold blooded justice with ''Yon're of yOnr nest, bub; this is case of hOgstealiDg," '"
 Danbury has the champion patisnt.bOy, He went to neighbOr'G house for cup ] of sour milk. 'T haven't anything but sweet m1Ik, 1" said the woman ~pitsishIy. ''IH wait till it sOuFs, said the 0bIiging youth, sinking intoa chair. =
 Noting the present of silver cup to a brother journalist, . Western editor says: ''He needs no cup. He can drink, from any vessel that contains liquor, wbetbef the neck of 2 bottle, the mouth of a pickle jar. the spile of keg, or bung of q bar rel"
 The Chicago Tribune says that Daniel OCOnnell was proud of hIs power of .giy- ing q lick with the rough sifSesOf his tongue" b would have been . great re- lief to the young men in the pOst0fIice if Mr. OCOnnelPs services could have been secured for the stamp department. 4 Mrs MilI1ss was asked the other day nov she managed to get along so nicely with Mr. Milliss, and frankly replied. ''Oh, feed him we'll When a woman marries, her happiness for q little while depends uponsth state of her husbands heart: after that, it's pretty much accord ing to the state of his stomach"
 Young HoyIe, who attempted to take the life of Nevis, a Trinity College stu dent, last spring, was arrested in Hartford lately, for an attempted burglary. HoyIe's games are played out. - DeTJy TTass- script.
 John Henry had guest to dinner the other day, and during pause in the con- veFsetiOn the infGHt terrible spoke up: 'I wish was you" 'Do you, little boy, and why do you. wish you were meY' ''COs you don't get your ears piBched when yOu eat vittIes with your knife"
 Miss Ada and Miss Lizzie ChaIIis have purchased the MaTtinsvIIIe 0nd.J Gazette. In leading editorial of the fiFsE number under the new TegiDe this extract OccDrs: Pause, young man, you want to get maF- Tied, and it's about time you did" Who will be the first to put the Cb@llis to his lips?
 It will hardly be necessary t0 tell tbs name Of the faestiOus party who went jn~ to village store the other day, and was observed to be looking about, when the proprietor remarked to him that they did great many steps if yOu did" was the stage drivers quick BstOEt,
 ''What are yOu doing there. why don't yOu go to wOEk2 asked father of his son. 'T'm like Micawber," replied the yOusb.
 waiting for something tO turn up." The boy was placed acSoes the paEeTDaI knee, and received the usual mid sdmOurfiOu, He believes now that something has turn cd up m double sense, entirely different from what he expected.
 Two women have started barher shop in TltusvIlIe. We saw Ons woman start . barber shop once. She came in with a cowhide in her hand and said she uss eo- ing to hOrseship the man who had been talking about her; and eight men with towels under their ehins and Iafher on faces, hnstled out of the chairs and start cd for the back door on a run. s
 Tn--....-- -. = noise among his chickens fE1e ogfSer eysn. ing, and thinking thieves were despoiIine hls rO0st, he rushed out with vengeance m hls eye and shot gun in bis hand, but discovered no one about Then he eounk- ad his f0wla, but instead nf some being missing, he found SIX more than be1onasa to hIm- His eyesight being little de fective, he didn't discover until tIIe next morning that he counted six vigorous misquetOes of the New Jersey brand which had accidentally been fastened Tn the coop with his hens. 'I thought Gssy was rather too big for chickens when I counted 'em, i" he afterwards remarked,
 When Rev. Mir HaIlOck vas settled in PIainfeld, it was his custom to collect his own salary, for which every voter in tho town was assessed Calling upon Mr. D.. the village blacksmith, one day, he said. ''I have a small bill against you" "And for what?" ''For preachfng.@ '.For pFeaehing!" said Mr. D., ..I have heard none of your preaching" ''The fault ia your own, said Mr. Fl. ''The doors have been open and you might have come iu. Not long after, as Mfr. H. vas passing fhe blacksmith shop, Mr, D. EailiDg him, said, '.I have . small bill against you .:And for what2" said Mir. H. .:For shOeing your horse" replied Mr. D.. ''For shoc- ing my horse? I have had DO horse shod here" says Mr. Fl. ''The fault IS yOnE own" replied Mir, ID. ''Tbe doors have been open and you might have come in- Mir. H. aid the bill Pand passed on.
 The explorer Stanley, sent out by tho London Telegraph and New York Herald newspapers to complete the unfinished work of Livingstone. has been heard