Litchfield enquirer., 1875-02-18
CLIPPINGS
Twisted hemp cures felons.

CLIPPINGS
 Twisted hemp cures felons. rsa
 The key to an uncertain gait--whis-k key. Spain took a little Bourbon on New Years day.
 He got fish bone in hls throat, 4 And then he sang an angel note
 Epitaph Sally. what time do your folks dine?'' Soon as you go away-that's missus' or- derA"
 In Illinois man has just married his etepmO&her, six months after his fathers death. ~-=@A sH@ t.. @.- " A California man pounded his wife, was fined SO, and he sold her silk dress to pay the fine. ...#.s3 iA Mary . widOwer! not IF said Matil- -dA Babies are like tooth brusher, Everybody wants their own' .4..s San Francisco had gone so far as to b@Peise a flowing oil we'll, but now finds that eft needs confirmation. -~~
 During the the month of January 200 newspapers that were unfortunately .'left out m the cold" suspended publication. The reason why Pagans are so far be- hind hand ID the march of civilization. is because they are such idol people. ~ The human heart has seventy beats 10 the minute, which is about the same pre- portion that the city of Washington has. Michigan men don't feel as though they had eloped If they don't leave a wife and four children in destitute circumstances. This is the latest form of wedding in- in vltAtlon: Come around and see me cap- ture mother-in-law at o'clock, sharp. |" Mir. NayIle, of Torrento, was knocked down by mistake for another man, recent ly. He hopes they'll hit the right Naylle on the head, next time
 Once when a bad man died A savage wit, being appraised of the event, observed that the average of mankind was sensibly raised. -ETEaE ar
 A California preacher is preaching on the best way to raise boys. We have al- ways found a number IA boot about as effective as anything for raising them. A dog-fancier of great parts having dled m Kansas, an obituary writer there sadly observes: ''Our great men are peter ing out sort O rapid like, these times.'' Tls naught whem woman humbues man. For that's the good old style:
 But, oh, mans confidence in man,
 Makes countless thousands smile.
 A Sioux City hotel has black and tan dog that has killed a thousand rats in a month. This is good puff for the dog but is hard on the hotel . .y-n The Gardiner, Maine, Journal says that there is a store in that place in which skuIl IS kept, marked: "This man was a drummer. Beware"
 A Southern editor announces his inten- ton of securing half, if one of sufficient dimensions can be found, for the purpose of holding convention of the authors of Beautiful Snow.''
 Sooner or later, justice certainly over- takes the leader of a country brass band. bridge came along and struck one on the head the other day. as he stood on the top of an Erie freight train.
 A circuit preacher in Missouri prayed for rain one night at farmers house and the farmer, who had horse race arrang- ed for the next day, was so mad that he turned the good man out of doors.
 During trial the Judge called a wit ness. No one answered, and an elderly man arose and solemnly said, Che is gone" l" Where has he gone?" asked the Judge, in no tender tone. ''I don't know. but he is dead. was the guarded reply.
 It looks bad to see dog preceding his master down the street, and calmly turn down the stairs to the first saloon he ap- brooches. 1t shows that there is some- thing wrong, something lacking, deplo- rable tendency on the part of the dog.
 A lovely young man with a sealskin cap and an Ulster coat, adorned with rosettes behind and silk scollops on the shoulders. was observed trying to break hole in the Cortlandt street sidewalk, this morning, by sitting down on it suddenly.
 Nevada is becoming more cracked every day. We don't mean the people, for that would be no news; but great fis- sure lately made its appearance in the earth near Gold Hill, and is daily incrsas- ing in length, width and depth. ... The regular course of law being at a low pitch in the horse-stealing districts of Minnesota, vigilance committees are more
  own in connection with feathers A coup de tar, they call it.
 When Persian speaks up and says that the Shah is long-nosed rhinoceros, he has just about time, before his head flies of, to send word to his wife that she needn't sit up to unlock the hall door for him that evening.
 A Vermont. farmer stroked his gray locks and eadlg remarked .T didn't real ly know how old and feeble was until I want to lick James this morning. He's only seventeen, but I couldn't make him holler."
 A telegraphic coffin attachment for the use ofpersons buried alive, IS offered to to an appreciatlve public by Connecti- cut inventor If it fails to answer its pur- pose. the purchaser can have his money returned on application to the manufac. turer.
 Perplexed Schneider, who had made q garment for youth, and found himself which appeared when trying it on tho young candidate, declared vociferously ''De coat is goot Is no fault of de coat De boy is to tin. "s ---%~S >~~ ~s'sa@ @A~' Three Saginaw girls of the Methodis pursuasion having met together, conclud cd to pray for their lovers. but the frs one had not got very far along in her pc titi0n when it was discovered that they were ell engaged to the same man. Tht religious exercises were at once terminal cd.
 Truth. says a sage, "never gets its votaries into tangles; it imprisons no mar in the network of bis own words'' Per haps not. But if a man told the truth when asked dsWhere he gets his winters mod ik runinrlA sranrnnsnnr L.,