The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-04-17
s. a K II r.
cORREcT..GC UP HEAD.
THE TIDAL WAVE OF sPELLING.scHooL:
IN NUTSHELL,

IN "A NUTSHELL,
The following established rules are being
complicd with IN the well regulated spelling
"skules." and the following incidents are
daily occurring:
Bows must not wipe their noses on theil
coat sleeves.
Girls are not allowed to chew gum or mas
ticate slate pencils in school.
No kissing in playtlme, unless by mutual
consent.
When the pupils want to 60 out, they must
fist obtain permission OF the teacher.
Only one pupil allowed to go out at a time
except in cases of extreme emergency.
ANY person staying out over ten minutes
except in cherry timc-will be fined IA black
mark.
Any boy placing q crooked pin on the
teachers char, to Jog his memory, or Tor any
other purpose, will be severely logged.
Apples peanuts, tilbers, malasses candy,
or other sweet things found in the pockets OF
the pupils will be contcatcd for the use of the
teachers sweet heart.
Boys that nhiStie on purpose, and say they
" couldn't help it, will be punished by being
compelled to sit tor half an hour between two
of the big girls.
INCIDENTS.
\ young lady who accompanied her beau
to a spelling sociabe the other evening gave
him the mittcn because he spelled it with one
t and an o. Served the stupid fellow Just
right.
Seventeen spelling matches took place in
Boston and its suburbs last week.
indianapolis and Evansville arc going ~
spell against each other by telegraph.
The Joliet Sun's young man spells it "dc,
veope; ~ but he admits that he cant brag on
his spcllng-with any degree of certainty.
oh, no, Mr.. Wilmington Adc0rate we guess
dual" is right The dual of our writing
and the duel" Of your Imagination are two
different words. You can't trip US on the
forct;ered words; it's the tive-letcred ones
that worry us.-hanhakee Go7ette.
Correctly is not a hard word, yet all the
spoilers that are worsted III the spelling
matches fail because they cannot spell cor.
rectly.
Two Milwaukee citizens recently spelled
down" two large classes Their names were
Kahn and Whlpp. AS we remember, cane and
whip have been used to improve spelling be
fore. -CHic0g0 JOurUdl "BfOreN Well,
what sort of Il school did you go to? They
didn't used to improve our spelling there.
Boston is agltatcd over the spelling school
4, H.,
spelled down, 1t is believed that Boston
dictionary is unavoidable.-RocAester Dc'"o-
crdt.
Noticing late spelling match in kanka-
kec the MomenCe Reporter "hurrahs for Mel.
lien This is generous, if not entirely rev
erent.
Spelling matches are apt to leaC to hard
words.-Br{dgepoH Sentinel
In Pennsylvania, they call their spelling
matches bees There is more biz than
buzz about them, however.
The spelling match at Boston is having an
awful effect on its journals. Thus the Giobe
in describing the match gets of this harrow
ing paragraph: There were further tortu.
Gus and uncOnsCionabe slueing by the TRACE
dians who vainly strove against the CataClysm
of words hurled at them by the cremonious
professor; and verdigris hug characterized
the countenanccs of these Comatosc victims,
whose dose of OpOdeldUC had prodI an eff.
feet quite different from cXhilaration.'
If this spelling excitement keeps up, we
shall enter right into the spirit of the thing
and publish Webster's Dictionary as serial.
-Ddnbuyy NerS.
There has recently come into the hands of
the editor a little volume which contains Il
collection of the knOttiest words in the Eng
lish language. The book is in the form Of
letters addressed to Squire Pedant IN the
east by Lorenzo AltiSsonant who is travelling
in the west. The book is written with the de.
sign of bringing together, in II continuous
narrative, and IN their proper sense, as many
as possible of the unusual and partially OBJ
soletc words in the language During Altis-
Onant'S tour in the west he loses his heart and
applies, by letter, t. a young lady tor hers in
return. The following is paragraph from
his proposal:
Drbonair and Alcgar Miss :-Desiderating not
TO be ambiguous in the cXordial part OF this cpiS-
tai, and waving pOlylogy, | will announce to you
that have a proClivity 10 assume the marital
position; and that from our precedaneous and
primal tetc tctc have Gelapsed into a objection
which ELECTED this cpistOlograph to you, and eN-
tOrtcd the illatiOn that you are entirely in con
sortion with which the suavitics and amaritudes
OF my subastral vitality might be fciaitously sus-
tanned; ergo, the option to mpart to you an or
tholygy Of the requisite assuetudcs and habili-
atoms Of her in whose sOlality am willing to
protract my subcelestial career to the time Of
my obt from this aspernus and subdolous mega
COsm.
The following is an extract from the young
lady's reply:
am still an against, although hubble for sew
cral january cpoChS. have had mutitudinous
alterations TO enter into narrated condition,
but have as yet cytated all morSuye at the prof
fcrS coming from your genius. Whatever might
evcnc, | was precinct against decubation in Il
state of dctoriority, 10y an intangible consortion
with an inamoratO. Petit maitrcs, or jaCkanapes
in fHlgid ornature could never enter the cycle
of my amorets. destination by many of my
strip To sponsal obligation with such asncgos,
has crcbrosly ubnubilated the most laccnt pros
piciencc Of alcger juycni!ity. Such evcntuations
made me mcticulous to adjugatc my mundane
allotment to any CONAN. | came almost TO the
illation, to be sOliyagant through this multvlous
megacosm to my ultimate regulatory.
The spelling bee should buzz Into the Erie