Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-12-01

NOW ali my doubling ceaHosF
&. K. IN Scrib,ses- Jos. October.
ALI Sorts
AM not enraged, only incensed. >"
said top who smelt strongly of musk,
though he was not muscular.
HARRY, cannot think" says Dick,
what makes my ankles grow so thick"
You do not recollect," says Harry,
Chow great calf they have to carry"
AN affair that passed Off swimingly-
The marriage of Mr.. Cod to Miss Fish.
of Sterling Conn.,, the other day.
SPEAKING Of roast mutton, o fash Of
| lightning in France killed 500 sheep.
Sheep-anned out pretty we'll for a
weather report. Ewess.
I'm married now," was the excuse
Chicago youth gave florist for not
buying as many bouquets as In former
years.
THOMAS WINANs, of Baltimore. is
having built for his private residence
the largest organ in America. It will
be heard mile distant.
FORTY ONE red-headed girls go to one
school in New York. Prediction: For
ty-one bald-headed men in the near flu
turs.- st. Louis RepAbiic0fa.
A>BoY who had been told to confne
himself to strong physical diet, took to
soda water as the most fssical thing he
knew.
A MILLER says that hard times don't
shut him off entirely from business; he
can always grind his teeth, when he
hasn't anything else to grind.
"WHEN a fellows playing for a
bellies hand" said Featherman, she
should always have diamonds for
trumps, and then hold fist full of
en-"
But fat little girl up in Groton
Says: This ID the fashion dote on,
If do in this rig,
As balloons look as big,
It is nothing to make public note on
You may talk yourself into bron-
chial affection, but you can't convince
Vermont woman that there won't be
death in the family if she dreams Of
seeing hen walking q picket fence.
Mr.. KELroN, of Ashburnham, Massa.
chusetts, tried to get divorce ON the
round that his wife talked to him In
loud tone of voice. and failed; and now
would you think that Mrs. Kelton's
voice was nineteen locomotive whistles
all going at once.-Rochester C1sron-
scle.
A COLUMBUS man got up a little
crusade of his own the other night, and
went around to all the saloon keepers in
town and notified them not tosell liquor
to his better half.
Mr.. CHAUNcEY Rose, of Terre Haute,
Ind, within the past Is years has given
s., 900, 900 for charitable and education
al purposes.
Our Chinese friend perpetrated the
following on Mary..s Lamb:
Was gal name ii olI had lam.
FIeas all samee white snO,
Evly place Mol gal walkee,
Ba, Ba, hoppee long too.
AN observing Utica journalist said, the
day after the snow began to thaw, that
be was prepared to affirm that zebra
stockings were fast fading from fashion
and view.
MOUNT Holyoke Seminary has sup
piled lis wives for missionaries. On
reading this in Boston paper Martha
Jane rolled up her eyes and exclaimed
'Holy yoke / how appropriate.
TIE remarkable absence of smoky
atmosphere during the Indian summer
at Omaha and other Western points is
accounted for by the fact that the
tobacco served out by the Indians was
too poor to smoke.
COOP REAsoNs-Mr. M'Phierc' um-
"Good morning, Sandy; will ye come
and drink, mon r Sandy McGrogger-
"Na, ma, mon; it's over airlY yet. Be-
sides, I've had rwo mutchkins Already
Fun.
A WEAK female will berate man for
letting her stand up in horse car, and
she will then dance from twelve o'clock
till two. This shows that dancing is
better than standing up.-Neo York
Herald.
The invitations to ball to be gwen
in O subterranean chamber in Leaven-
worth county, Colorado, stated that
ssthe dancing would be continued until
ten boxes of wax candles had been con-
sumed.
The New York Commercial Adver-
hser incidentally refers to piano-tunors
as ''unscrewpulous fellows" and they
are professional wire pullers who don't
mind straining point, that's fact.-
st. Louis Republican.
The text of the defeated candidate
will be found in the words following, to-
wit: Yesterday he kindleth great
fire upon the altar of patriotism; to-day
he sit.etn down amid it's ashes. =
Brooklyn Argus.
UNCLE LEvI-ssNow, Sammy, tell ne,
have you read the beautiful story of
Joseph p Sam-"Oh, yes, uncle."
Uncle "Well, then, what wrong did
they do when they sold their brother"
Sam, They sold him too cheap, [
think
VIZ are very sorry for Mrs. SCOTT
Siddons, who has recently lost at Dan
bury. in Connecticut, among other val
uables, q silver nutmeg-grater. once
the property of her revered ancestress,