The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1875-12-22
Variety.


The bonds of inigui,y have no market value.
a business ,hat is picking up-Tbe ras-gAthcrers.
lrhica is tBc more oombnstibie-ootton wool or a
tsa-baat
Noses are fashionable. and have always been fol-
lowed.
Iu rAat meter should Up ia a balloon be sung ?
Gas meter.
The nation that pleasos most office seekers is nomi-
nation
Men who fish Tor compliments don't care how dirty
tie water Is.
Novel commercial operatiou--Au engineer banking
tis fFes.
De thar wears tight boots is likely to have narrow
undorssuudiag.
Hisa singular fact that watch is set at voting
places to keep ous repeaters.
WY did Othello live in Venice and not in Rome?
Because BE was Moor at home thero.
yi,iaas friends are like bad cOrus-tbey'n make
yea sufer terribly ii you don't cut them.
Why is solar eclipse like a woman whipping her
boy. Because it's a hiding OF the
Ought baker to be considered needy lOafer be-
Frog were the original groenbaeks. and since they
iEDH dust breath they have been inaationist.
Betting on elections is acrmina practice. You are
absttiag the enemy, whether or not you aid him.
New Haven viii send hen to the Centennial that
lays I've egsz day (wOOdeu eggs prObably.)
Tis Is what country editor perpetrates q flock
q sheep composed Of all wethers may be said to
seub.o cur climate"
The poet who " Would not die in Autumn" is out
again The worst OF it is that be viii not die at any
time.
We took vote tho other day in family on
tlskuhsa pancakes, aud it was decided unanimously
o. lay them the table.
Ilers is advice enough now laying around loose to
raz three such worlds as this. What we are suffer
ING most for Is some more good examples.
A Kassas girl SAYS that nothing makes her so mad
Es % have a srasshopprr crawl up aud down her
hack just rs her lover has come to the proposing
point.
The S1mpositor who substituted an M for " w
iz zroaiug OF lady troubled with swelling Ofthe
iolt." accomplished the worst typographical feat on
rscl1d.
Man lHish hands IN pockcts)-" Seen anything of
Job o. uork lately, John?' Other man With hands
IN other pockets- one tother day, but didn't like
- ask. COS they might said yes"
Augustus, dear" said she. tenderly pushing him
from her as the moonlight flooded the bay-windOw
where they were standing. think you had better
Try some ether kind Of hair-dye your musaehe taste
llas turpeutiue.7
A man finding it difReult to keep his footing.
walking home from convival party, complained
that he had jast had his shoes sOed. and they were
sliFrcTy. Yes said friend, you had them
fEea by sherry oObler."
Woman suIraeists Of New Haven are wrestling with
the question, Who is the superfuous woman %
Ofcourse We can't tell. but we know a number Of
family men ia town, each Of whom thinks he has
married her
Brooklyn sick girl cleared space around thirteen
ears Of Ereen corn at one meal the other day, and
riekiug the fragments from between her teeth with
q hair-pin. observed " II ever get well enough
Hgaiu to cat much. think could live on corn.
Equality.-Lady Clara We're dc We're - Can you
tell nc, Jane what you most want for your vedd-
iaE g" Jane - Really, my lady. can't ardly say
] ,arcu't got nothing. But you'd know best, my
lady. Anything; just what you'd want, ny lady, if
you was in the position"
He had very promising boil between the shOul-
der blades. and bis wife who was young and beAat-
fal End could play on the harp. bat hadn't nursed
much il the hospitals, put mustard plaster on it.
A lawyer subsequently, explained to him that they /
didat grant divorces for such in that State.
II viii certainly shorten your life. Harry, if you
continue to smoke 50 much" 4" don't Rnow that
replied the gentleman. there's my father, who
smokes every blessed day, and now he's seventy
years Of age We'll, ',Has the reply, if be hadn't
smoked he might have been eighty"
what are you doing there why don't Jon go to
work ? asked a fathsr Of bis son. +" I'm like Mieaw
bsr. replied the youth. . waiting for something to
turn up The boy was placed across the raternal
knee. and received the usual mild AdmOnitiOn. He
believes nov that something has turned up in
double sense, entirely diferen, from what he ex-
Pested.
A Traveller, being at = coffee house with some
eentlcnen, was largely drawing the ereduliiy Of
the company Where did you say all those wonders
happened, srg" asked gentleman present. 81
really can't exactly say replied the travellers ." but
Il vas some where in Europe-Russis 1 think" :"
should rather think ItA-ly,' returned his opponent
An old LADY residing in Ohio lost the companion.
With whom she had logged for many years She
neglected 10 mark the spot Of his burial By even
stone Not long amer coming into possession Of
small legacy, sister Of the deceased said to her.
suppose -yoa win now put up stones for Daniel3'
Her ausve- vas settler IF the Lord wants
Daniel at tie resurrection. I guess be can find him
without gaidebOhrd-"
Hints TO horsemen II your hOrseis in the habit Of
kicking, use low board. and your horse viii soon
get over H. When your horse refuses to take up oat,
consider hin as having failed. To make your horse
fast tie him with hAlters. Look carefully after the
bits Of your korse, or else you may soon be looking
aftcr the bits Of your wagon. IL you have proper
address ruu may receive q couple Of lines from a
horse, but on no aseount drop line. However you
may be attached to your horse, you must be certain
taaf your horse is we'll attached to your carriage