Weekly Trinity journal., 1875-03-27
HIRAM JENKINS MISTAKE.

Hiram Jenkins rove slowly up the
hill road that led TO the farm house Of
Deacon Bates. 1t was plain even to the
casual observer that the errand he was
bound on was of no common importance.
No man would have arrayed himself so
gorgeously simply for the purchase of a
tub OF fall butter or a yoke of steers
His hair was in state of distressing
smoethness, and seemed almost part of
the glossy hat which covered it. His coat
and pantaoons were marvels in their
way, and his boots, which had been elab-
olately BACKED, reflected back the rays
OF the setting sun in a manner perfectly
blinding to the beholder. And yet, not
withstanding his superiority in all these
respects to the lilies of the field, there was
apparent in his actions a singular sort of
nervousness, trepidation almost, which
rendered his appearance at once ridicu-
]ous and awkward. This trepidation was
by no means lessened by the sudden Wis
ion of ed-headed urchin watching him
from the barn door, and who, as the team
approached, with an widening grin,
sped off in the direction Of the farm hous e
and disappeared through the Kitchen
door. Hiram was conscious minute af-
forwards, of being the target for half a
do en- pairs of eyes from the sitting. room
windows, and it required extraordinary
strength of mind on his part to drive past
the house to the shed, where the horses
of all visitors TO the house were hitched.
There are few more awkward things to
do than get out or in a carriage when
wemen are watching, and though Hiram
had probably never thought of the fact
before he fully experienced its truth, as,
endeavoring to spring genteelly from the
buggy, his foot slipped on the wheel and
he came down on his hands and knees in
the dirt. His remarks as he scrambled
to his feet were confined to one word, but
that, though short, was the most express
i've one in the English language.
"I'll have to go round to the barn
pump and wash my hands before can go
in," he said to himself. ~ suppose they
are having their fun out Of me in the
house now. Confound it, l wish l had
not started"
AS he passed the door of the horse
barn, which was partly open, he heard
the sound of voices. He listened, and
his heart sank as he recognized the tones
of his rival. Elnathan Rogers.
II want her bad" he was saying
"She just suits me. You can't always
have her you know, and you'd better call
the thing settled"
" don't know about that" answered
the deacon, doubtfully. "I've always
said, come what would, I'd never part
with Jenny. But you hang on so l don't
know"
"Say it's bargain, deacon. "I've
thought it over a good while, and Jenny
must have. III treat her we'll, you may
be sure of that"
The deacon hesitated, blew his nose,
and finally said:
"She's got some little tricks that no.
body knows nothing about except me,
and don't want to impose upon neigh
bor."
oh, pshaw that's only an excuse,
deacon. I'm willing to risk it,"
"She kicked me in the stomach last
winter, and bit little Sammy not more'n
six weeks ago. can show you the scar
now"
Great king !" thought Hiram, "and
here was going to pop the question this
very night. Who ever would thought
it ?"
I'm take that out of her," said Elna-
than, continuing the conversation. "If
she SO much as lifts her foot against me,
III give her q licking that will last her
month"
Lick !" calculated Hiram to himself,
astonshed beyond measure. Lick Jen-
ny Bates ! Well, this goes ahead of ev-
erythng / ever heard of, And the old
man don't say word. What next ?"
A pause ensued, which was at length
b oxen by the deacon
Well then, if you must have her, you
must. l expect the old lady'l want
something to say about it though, she
thinks as much of Jenny as do. Won't
you come into the house ?"
Not now. I've got to go down TO
the village before dark, I'll be round
s,me time tomorrow"
Hiram J' nkins waited until he saw his
successful rival climb the fence between
the two farms. Then he deliberately un-
hitched his horse, got into his wagon and
drove off, never casting a look toward
the window where tine fair Jenny sat in
watchful expectation. Not until he
reached his own door did he draw long
breath.
" 1t seems just like dream" said he
t. himself, as he slowly unbuckled the
harness. ITO think of Jenny Bates
kicking her own father and biting her
little brother, and she 10 king as though
butter wouldn't melt in her mouth ? It's
jIst as mean, though, in the deacon to
lick, as It's for her to kick. The old hyp-
ocrite ! Well, must say I'm nightly
deceived in the Bateses. / s'pose Elna-
than Rogers feels cranky enough now he
has got her. ! just hope she'll kick his
head off. Lucky for me | overheard
what | did,"
Notwithstanding this solf-gratulation,
Hiram felt all the pangs of di,appoint-
ment and Jealousy. He had not only lost
his "girl," bat he had been cut out in
the most mortifyng manner by man
he held in thorough contempt, He felt
that even with what he noy knew of Jen-