Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1875-03-15

| DuC rathef PITY Tor the ignorance
which had stepped him in crime,
THE MAN WHO VISITS AIS RE-
LATIONS.
Was he ever at your house? He Of
ten comes here. He always comes alone.
His wife is weakly and has young
babe, so she stays at home, feeds the
stock, milks the COW and carries in
wood, (exercise) but to go away on the
cars visiting, she could not stand it at
all so he visits his relations, "free as
air"
l once asked one of those men why he
did not bring his wife along. "Oh, she
could not leave home The twins are so
much trouble, she don't get out much.
I have everything handy for her-I love
my wife and children as well as any,
body, but | can't be with them all the
time" That man has eight children,
the oldest not yet twelve, the youngest
twins
Sometimes the man, when he visits
his relations, has picture of his wife
and children to show the folks-oftener
he forgets them, and he don't know how
old the baby is-his wife keeps the
childrens' ages, he don't bother himself
about such things. Don't know wheth-
er his wife reads much or not he guess
es she don't leastways, he don't remem-
Der seeing her read any lately; in fact.
he don't seem to be very we'll acquaint
ed with his family. 1t is hard work to
get him to speak of his wife at all. 1t
is like tearing the heart out of HIM to
get him to praise her; and do believe
if he was obliged to speak well of her
as often as he does of himself, it would
kill him. | have tried for two hours to
get man to praise his wife, and failed
it was easy to get him to speak of him.
self. The advice, "man know thyself, :"
had been appropriated by him, and he
was as full of himself as the ocean is Of
water, or the earth of geological speci-
mems.
1t is a dreary, dull, unsympathetic
task to entertain, 5e., to wait on man
who is on visit to his relations. The
key to his valise is always lost and the
first thing after filling him up, is to hunt
up all the keys in the house and try
them in the lock of that yalise. Oh
course they won't open it, and you knew
they wouldn't, but the programme must
be gone through with. have been SC
tired with this key business that / have
been tempted to take all the keys about
the house, tie stone to them and throw
them In the well. AS soon as he get:
his valise ripped open, and the tobacco
out of it, he proceeds to shave, and wash
and black his boots He wants some
court plaster for the boil on his neck
some glycerine for his hands, and hal
a cranberry to tie on his corn-and th,
pincers to pull the wild hair out of hil
eyes. When all these things needfu
are supplied, you may get few mo
ments to look after the baby and stir th'
coffee that is browning. But when OIL
wash-day you ask him if there are an,
of his clothes he would like to have wash
ed, and he empties his valise at you
feet, and with, Il hate to trouble you
offers you everything in it. that is tn
straw that breaks the back of patience
and he observes he will want his thing
early in the morning as he Is going t
; start. | have known them to start ever,
morning for week, and never get ava,
till put the whole family on a diet 0
mush and milk. Then he found tha
his affairs needed him at homeland h
went. Sisters this is capital receipt
| don't know whether invented it 0
not | give it to you free anyway
Whenever your visitors stay too long
and you don't want to insult them, jus
give them plenty of mush and milk +
; eat, and they will disappear like green
backs or good intentions.-Cor. Prairi
Farmer.
Nor MUcH CHAsGED.-A party ha
] met at public table. when the CONVEX
f satiOn turned on the subject of transmi
t grafton. Mr. H. was firm believer il
the doctrine. and was expatiating large
t ly upon its points. when he was inter
rupted by gentleman who was present
: with, *. what do you suppose your
I self to have been before you were /