The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1875-07-08
Odds and Ends.


The original greenbacks-frogs.
A HEAVY business-importing ele-
plants.
A DOOR step is otter the first step IN
lite taken by little waif.
The latest thing in front door locks
night keys.
WHAT is the Spiritualists papers
"Jrapping paper
10 pREvENT hasty pudding from
sticking 6adly to the kettle grease the
kettle we'll.
Why is the capital of Turkey like a
whimsical patient? Because it is con
slant to no pill
A SPRINGFIELD man recently took n
bath i'll the dark. He managed well
enough, only he got hold of a piece of
stove backing instead of soap, with
marked results.
NOW don't be rough" remarked
person, who had been arrested for
thievery, the other night. "Prav don't
say I'm thief. BE polite and call me
canal contractor.
HE average gorilla of Central Africa,
now points to Stanley and his band of
explorers, and pathetically remind his
grandchildren that sit is what they
may one day expect to co to-"
ALABAMA BARRIERS have fine feeling.
One tried to shoot himself the other
day because a customer asked him why
he didn't use a crow-bar to shave with.
He couldn't bar to be talked to in that
way.
ONE of the theatrical critics having
spoken of Emily Soldene as "Gordian
shape ofdazzling hue" the Providence
press says: 1--WE suppose he means to
convey the idea that she's knotty as we'll
as nice.
NEVADA brides won't stand much
foolishness at a wedding. Recently one
of them while going up the aisle of the
church stopped short and kicked all the
skin Oft the shins of groomsman who
trod on her trail
YESTERDAY some meddlesome persons
lnterfered with Dennis Slattery's at
tempt to drown himself by leaping over
Brickleys and North Wharves. Well,
even coroners must nave their enemies.
st. Johns (N. b. } Tribune.
EDGAR Poe said: "To viIlify a great
man is the readiest way In which little
man can himself attain greatness. The
crab might have become a constellation
but for the courage it evinced in nib
bling Hercules on the heel"
WHEN common japanese goes into
the presence of an oflice-holder, he
must say "Great and distinguished
child of the sun, deign to put your foot
upon my neck" There's some pleas
ure i'll holding an office III that coun-
try.
A CONTEMPORARY asks, tWhat ale the
street lamps for?" The man who doesn't
know what street lamp is for is hardly
fit to sit i'll an editorial chair and mold
public opinion. Street lamps are for
weary young men to go reeling against
at midnight, when they forget the way
home. '-NOrrtstoeon Herald.
When the wind is adverse, and it blows brisk
gale,
And the ship has to tack and to shift every
eail,
What, then, is she like, in nautical phrase
Why, lady of fashion; she's always III stays
''AND now, Mrs. Sullivan, p" said the
counsel, twill you be kind enough to
tell the jury whether your husband was
IN the habit of striking you with I'M
punity ?" Wild what, SIR" with
He was, sir, now and
thin, but he struck me oftener with his
fisht"
HERE, waiter waiter % called Mr..
Rural, at one of our city hotels; "bripg
me some of Francis potatoes" The
waiter stared, and said he didn't think
they had any. Haven't any," said
Mr.. Rural; "much you know about vo,f
trade-here, read that" And be point
ed to this on the bill of fare: - Potatoes
ala Francois %
A WESTERN editor did not wish to
hurt the feelings of gentle poet, but
apolog1zed for the appearance of d
long and tender poem by saying:
beautiful Spring was crowded out of
our Sunday edition to make room for
an account of the great snow storm"
WHEN they want to find out 10 the
country if girl is counting or not, an
old lady steps in and remarks: II
say, there amt no enc sick i'll this here
house or nothin', is there2 I seen
light burnin' nigh on to twelve o'clock
last night; but / don't smell no cam
phire nor nothin' around"
An aged coIored individual stepped
INTO a store on Woodward avenue, and
asked how the thermometer stood "a
hundred and foIty-nine degrees below
zero replied one of the clerks. lis
lat a fax" exclaimed the old man;
: then I've Tossed 81. [ jist made bet
t war a hundred an fifty
"WAKE up, Judge, wake up; there's
burglar in the house :" said Mrs.
oortly, in Brooklyn, to her husband,
he other night The Judge rolled out
# bed, grasped his revolver, and
,pened the door to sally forth for the
obber. Then turning to his wife he
aid: Come, Sarah, and lead the
vay. It's mean man that will hurt
Foman.
BRAIN TISSUE.
here is party, fat and stout
As any Turk on Bosphorus
fho at our dinner table sits,
nd N 'er his babble interInits,
tut prates of mush and wheaton grits
And - mean amount of phosphorus.
lie always airs his favorite theme,
Nor cares penny toss for us,
ut rails at beef with a. POOH" and Pish =,
nd calls tor cod and other fish,
looping 10 gain-his dearest wish
" The mean amount of phosphsroe,
Ia that he'd change his boarding place
'Twould surely be no loss for us
ut there one consolation yet,
lis star ascendant, soon will ret;
ONE time he'll die, and then he'll get
Hie mean amount of phosphofus.