Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-11-10

LYING is trying to hide in fog; if YOU
move about, you are in danger of
humping your head against the truth :
as soon as the fog blows up. you are
gone anyhow.
MR.. Do Icing, of China, has lust
been buried in Chicago, in company
with prayer painted on brown paper.
a pack of cards, q silver quarter and
some copper cash, new hat and plat
er OF sugar sticks.
"YoU appear in new role, don't
you, old fellow2" was what the young
man remarked, as he dug cockroach
out of his fresh bread. at the breakfast
table. A roseate flush permeated the
landlady's palid cheek.
THE fastest voyage between England
and Australia yet recorded was lately
made by the steamship st. Osyth. She
sailed from Liverpool, and arrived at
Melbourne, by the Cape of Good Hope.
In forty-f days, actual time.
A CURIOUS exhibition is announced to
take place shortly, at the Halles Cen
| trales, OF large number of phenome-
nal pumpkins, some of which are said
to weigh as much as $50 pounds
Paris american Register.
A BELGIAN mas invented machine
| by which the movements of the vocal
organs In speaking are mechanically re-
corded. 1t is placed in juxtaposition to
| the tongue, larynx, or lips, and it is not
necessary to speak aloud. The writing
consists of dots and dashes.
THE Taunton Gazette makes this rec
ord: "It was a good and prayerful old
lady of this city who said she had stop
ped praying for her husband be-
cause [ have prayed for that man 80
long without effect that I think the
Lord has just as poor an opinion of the
man as I have 7
"VHAT's all this talk about the cur
rency and the fve-twenties and the
seven hirties that hears about, Mike p
"Why, bliss your sowl, don't you know,
Pat ? 1t names that the government
wants to make the laborin min work
from fve-twenty in the morning till
siven-thirty in the evening" ssOch, the
spalpeens May the divil choke thin z
IT was rich old widow who wonder
ed that the handsome young man. had
fallen In love with her. eyes, it is
| wonderful" said Mr.. Spruceup; shut
do love you to distraction. Why l
even love the ground you walk on. 81
thought So" observed the widow.
"But am not in want of landlord at
present"
| A wELL-KNowN editor remarking
upon the rumor that the LADIES are
wearing stockings that cost $40, says:
"We have often noticed the exquisite
quality of the stockings that have fallen
under our observation, but never hav-
| ing thought, in the hurry Of the me-
ment, to inquire their cost, we really
can't say--whether the report be true.
"There, John, )" said an nate mother,
! forgotten the lard p Ella, mother"
said young dutiful, it was 80 greasy
that it slipped my mind"
On HANG, of North Adams, sings Of
mary and her little lamb:
Was gal name Moll had lam,
Fleas all samee white sno;
Evly place Koll gal waIkee
Ba, Ba, hoppe long too.
HE keeps pork stand in Philadel-
phia, but even while he measures ont
sausages he me0itates such stanzas ~
this to his betrothed:
Of you should die, my own true love,
Then, while the sun was risin',
I'd go out In some vacant lot
And kill myself with pizen."
Mrs. HARMS, once a resident of Du-
buque, now of Marshalltown, ana
widow of Capt. Harris, one OF the IN
fortunate victims of Spanish bubchery.
has received So, 600 as a rec0mpense for
her husbands death. It will be re-
membered Capt. Harris was one OF the
Virginius captives who were shot by
order of the Spaniah authorities "a
Cuba.
A WRESTLING match at the Grand
Opera House, New York, Thursday
evening, between William Miller. an
Englishman, and Andrew Christol,
Frenchman, was won by the former In
five closely contested rounds. The
match was FOR 81 900 and the champion
Of the United States.
A FRENCH woman in crowd who saw
German soldier blow his nose In =
vulgar way exclaimed: "What with
all our FIVE millards, they have not got
pocket handkerchiefs yet. !" She was
sent to prison and fined, but the crowd
paid her fine and made up purse for
her g for the pleasure she had caused
them" This happened at Lorraine.
TIE Prince of Wales has taken with
him to India eight fire engines, all Of
which have been made expressly -
stand the Indian climate, the work be-
ing entirely of gun metal and copper,
and the woodwork Of we'll seasoned oak.
They are finished in superior manneE,
having the garter and collar OF TIE
Prince of Wales, and the star of The
order of India embalmed on each.
An unfortunate accident that &C.
Cured on Friday at Hydeviue, VT.
proves the fearful explosive powers OF
nitro glycerine. A lad picked up an
empty can which had once contained
this compound. and which had been
thrown away some two years ago, and
WIS attempting with hammer and
gouge to remodel it, when the blows 81
the hammer caused an explosion. The
lad q right hand was torn from his body