The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-05-15
SrrIn-CnmIC ltemIXIng.

What a relief it is to gain information of Il
serious accident without any details that
shock the senses and curdlc ones blood /!
What can be more vivid than the following :
and vet we smile rather than shudder in
thought OF the mistaken interlopcr who gets
cut up:
"The gentleman who recently proceeded to
clean out the editor Of the Sioux City Times
has consented TO postpone operations until
the doctors have fixed half Il dozen broken
bones for him, and extracted three or four
bulle's.'
Is not the following brief, comprehensive,
and to the point?
Mrs. swan, of Cochran, y. Y, lighted her
fire with Kerosene on Monday, leaving nus
band and one child
Ofhorrlble accidents how pleasant it is TO
read and be left to imagine rs mach, or as
little, as you please Here is the whole story
in nutshell and full column Of CHASTITY
particulars would not add to it:
"A Pennsylvania, after lighting match,
threw it into powder-keg. The cOroners OF
three counties are collecting the shrcds.'
Here we have contlagration done up in
style:
John Baldwin, of Grundy county, Iowa.
owned Il defective iluc. He doesn't own il
now. Loss, 5000
And here is another
a Kansas farmer fired at some rats under
the barn, and killed several. Loss, $1,000;
uninsured
Witness the following physiological item
! No exhaustive medical treatise could express
more:
~ man in Galveston, the other day, who
complained of being overhcated, effected a
permanent cure by drinking six glasses OF
! lce-water, without the aid of Il physician
lie was perfectly cool when the Coroner
came
The following precautionary item tells a
sad story of experience, and we may take the
lesson without shudder.
An agricultural gentleman of Denver
Col, who despite his wite's warnings, per
sisted in smoking on Il load of hay the other
morning, returned home shortly af'erward
with his eyebrows sInged, and the iron-worb
of his wagon in Il potato sack"
Here is another equally as good, OF IT.
kind:
Mr.. Collins. Il Hartford, bought II Zero
ciouS watchdog. Mr.. Collins came homo
late that night His wife says that his irous
ers can't be mcndcd. The dogs skin is fol
t sale cheap. Mr. Collins hopes to be able Il
sit down.n few weeks
Here is a chapter of agricultural iniorma
ton. clear and concise in Il few lines:
"A gentleman at WInooski, VI, who re
Gently tried a solution OF lyc rs an antidote Il
cabbage worms, will not do so again, at leas
not with the several acres of cabbage plant
that he experimental on the other day
If we must have items of scandal publish
+ cd commend us 10 the man who can satiSi,
/ himself with eiucidating rs follows; =.
!. "a lady in Atlanta tied her husband
e bands and feet the other day, just for iun
, and then went through his pockets for a ceI
tam billetdouN, and found it, His physician
tells him that his face won't be badly scarf
Cd though hc may remain permanently bald.
L What chapter of domestic unrest l
I brought To climax in this bit of romance:
d "a mctherin-law in Lansingburg, New
J. York, IS trying to rid her eyes OF quantit.
> OF red pepper which, in some strange way
c other, came through the koy-hole OF he
dauChter.in-law's room"
b Thus We see how the most serious an
I'll painful events may be made to present SUI
e face Of comicaliiy, and If the lesson Is cor
r lveyed All is gaiued The man who invente'