Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-09-01
Miscellaneous.
= BARRIERS now use alawn.mower [,
shave n Chicago drnmmer's check.

copies.
"A man in Ohio hid for half a day
under hog pen rather than testify in
u law suit.
The man who can invent lazier
amusement than crcquct i'll make his
fortune.
The Boston girla arc slowly adopt
Ing the chemiloon. So the inventor
says.
According to the lstcst English
statistics there are l4,000.000 Metho.
dis's throughout the world.
For the frat time in twelve years,
the South will raise enough breadstuffs
for home consumption.
--"As between cucumber and
and watermelon" says a Western cdi-
tor "give us brandy and water
An American girl won the gold
medal AT the recent examination at tho
College of Brazil. Rio dc Janeiro.
-Glyccrine will remove freckles.
So will coal oil, ifthe freckled person
attempts TO fiji a lamp by candle light.
-Posmaster General Jewell has di.
rected that smoking during business
hours be prohibited in his department.
The Mississippi river is lower at
Winopa, MINI than il has been since
1864. Large packets cannot go above
this point.
The only thing that will discour-
age California flea is a sedge lam.
mer blow on the head, but he is ready
for business the next day.
! What is camp meeting tourna-
ment? They are going 10 have one at
Marths's Vineyard on the Gath, and
Mr.. Moody will attend it.
Come, now, IL you have any "per-
sonal "Reminiscences" OF the late An
drew johnson show up with them,
and let US have it over and done with.
When . Rochester woman was
caught with her arms around the land
lords neck, she told her husband that
she was trying to persuade him to re.
duce the rent.
-"Never mind one fire." said q
preacher up in Dubuque as the fire.
bells started his congregation "most
OF you will get plenty OF conflsgration
in the spiritual future"
Negotiations arc pending for an
exchange of postal money -orders be.
tween Italy aud the United States, and
a convention to that effect will proba-
bly, 60 into operation next year.
"A California town has female
brass band, and somehow, those play
ers can sit and blow, and blow for
hours at a strech, and not once get out
of breath, as male band would.
The times are hard, but the South.
orn papers are nobly retaining their
Independence. Says the Savannah
Ne,cs.: "A twenty-five cent melon and
dollar notice. We cant see it,
Tho United States Treasury is adj
yised thAt two Milwaukee Gaugers,
SstuatNnNy iMplicnNcn iW INV ~NisNsy
frauds, have left tor Canada in accord
ancc with the advice Of their counsel.
-Somc months ago, an Oregon man
named his girl baby after Queen Vic
toria, and wrote 10 the Queen 10 that
effect But as she didn't seem to care
. cent, he changed the childs name to
Sal.
There are giantesses ia Minnesota
II SCENE. A country paper there in,
describing the burning of n dwelling
mentions the rescue. "by way OF q
window, OF the servant girl, fifteen
feet In hight"
The following toast was given at
a Concord cattle show in 1876: "Old
Bachelors. Like sour cider. they grow
more grabbed the longer they are kept
and when they SEQ little mother, they
turn to vinegar at once"
Mrs. Muson, Of Des Moines. has
presented her husband with child go
small that 1t looks like doll. The
precious little boy weighs only two
pounds, but those two pounds are full
Of life and health.
A lady living near Troy has a piece
Of soap supposed to be a hundred
years old. Isn't it a little astonishing
how long come people can keep soap
in the house and never feel the slight
cst temptation to use it?
"A Philadelphia dog ate sausages
and died of modification when he dis
covered that he had masticated near
relative. Living on your relations is
considered disreputable. it SCENE.
even by the lower orders OF creation.
The Seattle Despatch, Washington
Territory, appearing with deficiency
Of local news one day last week, ac-
counted for it by saying that the day
before had been its ''local's birthday"
Happy SPOT, where birthdays are so
religiously observed.
Dickens always believed in Spirit
ualism after asking at seance the at
tendance OF the spirit of Lindley MUIR
ray, and being answered by the spec.
tire, to whom he put the question. care
you the spirit of Lindley Murray ?'
II are."
One Of the late zephyrs in Minne-
sheep into tho top ofa tree mile
away from their grazing place. Tho
rest OF the flock had presence Of mind
enough to hold on to the grass by their
teeth.
The Pittsfield Mass.) Eagle tells
Of directory canvasser who stuck his
head into Senator Dawes office the
other day and asked. "What business
is carried on here, sir?" The Senator
looking up from his law book, replied:
"Writing recommendations for office
and resumed his work.
| WARN hearts arc what We want
now" said one Of the brethren, twir-
ling ten cent stamp with an air of
reckless benevolence, "plenty of warm
hearts, that will inspire ready hands
to dive deep into full pockets and fork
over tho balance Of that 100000"
Happy bridegroom: "More
money, madam, moro money? Have
you forgotten that my money has
bought everything yen possess--thc
very dress you stand in!' Fair bride:
mo, sir nor have forgotten that
your money has bought what stands
In It,"