The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1875-09-02
Who's sick?'

No reply.
@Where's the fre?''y
No foolin' young man. was the
gruf reply. "You'd better be tumb-
lin out, or you'll miss your break
fast"
During hisspeech the speaker was
jumping hurriedly into his pants
and boots.
9well, you're hungrier than ever |
was, although I've often been in need
Of square meal, but think I would
have to be pretty bad off before |
would hurry as you do"
But ere l had finished, my audi
ence was half way down stairs. !
rose and leisurely put on my clothes
and went down stairs, guided by a
piece of talIow candle suffering in
an old dirty lantern. When I land,
ed in the kitchen | found the farmer,
his son, and two hired men standing
before a bench, on which were about
q half dozen lanterns similar to the
one in nv bed chamber. | was as
tonished. Could it be possible that
these dirty lanterns were productions
of the farm?
@Hcre's your lantern, youngfcller,"
said the "boss,' as heard the two
men call him.
Itook the proffered production, and
in solemn silence We marched
through the back door in single file,
and winded our way in the direction
of the barn, the boss taking the lead,
the two hired men next, and the
author CALAMITY bringing up the
rear.
l thought this strange way Of
going to breakfast, but said nothing,
| was thoroughly awake and; as we
were marching along, l fell into a
sort of doze, and dreamed | was on a
railroad train and the men before me
were my broaksmcn.
"All aboard" l shouted, swinging
my lantern above my head.
l suddenly became aware of my
mistake. had struck the next man
in front ofmc on the nose, and strange
as it may seem he was without doubt
dreaming the same thing that | was,
thinking himselfa conductor also, for
he turned toward me and said some
thing. | could not understand wheth-
er it was sail aboard" ornot; anyhow,
he swung his lantern othat it struck
my head, and the lantern was smash
ed to atoms.
'What's up" said. "Are We off
the track?"
He made some remark about un-
coupling me, and as I was no hand to
debate, turned and followed the
train, while my brother conductor
went back to the station to procure
another lantern and return on the
next train.
I will not relate what transpircd
while at the barn, but let the reader
guess we did something by saying
that after two hours work We return
ed to breakfast, which consisted chief
ly Of cold turnips and saltpork, with
nothing to drink but black coffee,
without milk or sugar. When break
fast was over we again repaired to
the barn-this time to shear sheep.
They were all huddled together in a
small pen near the barn, where they
had been put the night before. The
boss and gotinto the pen for the pur'
pose of catching and handing out to
the two men wo were to carry them
to the barn.
On getting in, was cautioned tc
look out for the old ram, but l was
not afraid. determined not to catch
the old ram, and thus remain unhurt
But, alas! for human nature, how
sadly I was deceived. For a wonder
my lass attempt to catch a lamb wa:
success. I picked him up in tri'
umph and started to where the mar
was waiting, but on the way my bun
Gle became FESTIVE. So Iput it dowr
in the centre of the pen, and stopped
fondly over it to rest myself. l wa:
outstanding over the helpless sheep
when a voice called out:
"Look out for the ramr'
The next thing l knew l was fly
ing through the air over the fence
| T .,,.I. ~. e.,a,,,,J F,oo joovo-1 n