The Portland daily press., 1875-10-02

continyoo ther bizniss with, and he'd TO stop
our raierods, and turnpikes, he'd to stop, becoz
hevln got to the pint wher we he'd to hev iron
and males and sich things we coodenJ 90 on.
so all the labrers he'd TO be discharged, which
made desprt populasheD, all howlin agin us.
But the wust wuz yet to come. We Good hev
wethered all this, but alas! BAsCoM FAILED.
This wuz the fnishn blow-the great stag
gerer wich the Corners Good not possibly recov-
er from
Bascom made a manly fite, and 1 must sew
raised the price NV drinks to So drink, and
when he saw his barls rapidly failin he tried to
Keep the Corners agoin, by waterin his likker
ez we he'd watered the currency.
But theze expedient didn't work. The higher
the price he put on his likBer the more the peo-
pie seemed to want to drink Nv it, 1t seemed
to be delite to EN- to pay out our money eff
they got any ytbing whatever for it. But they
woOdent do wat Bascom most desired-that Is
to say, they woodent stand his watered whis.
key. They sed to him, EFF 50 drink amt
high enuff, charge $4. It's al. .wun to us. Set
EN- up agn."
And the bar-room full wood step up and take
suthin, and the man who askt EN- wood throw
down on the bar peck of our currency and
tell Bascom to help himself.
Bascom come to us and begged that we shood
let him hev suthin that he Good yeose to re-
stock his bar: He sed the dealers in louisville
laffed in his faco when he offered EN- our money
for likker, and he had but two barls left
And them two barls wuz vizably shrinkjn
every mint 1t seemed ez though the populis
got insane for likker at the very time when we
didn't want EN- to hev it. Far the first time
in life, wanted the Corners to be temprit, for
every drop drunk from those barls brought our
bank much nearer its end, L sot opposite
Bascoms, and saw the crowd go in with a
sinkin sensashen that wuz akin to death.
Drink by drink it went and, ez eff they coodent
eggsaust it fast enough by the single drink,
they got to comm for it in tin dlppers.
"How does it hold out?" wuz the message
sent him at 10 A. M.
The answer come prompt:
"I0.5 A. NJ. Wun barl untutched, twenty
gallons in the other and sinkin every mint.
b."
Then sent this:
80 10. Fill her up with water. Keep JEFF
son Davis poarin in. Hold the fort N.
And the answer come:
10 15 Jeffson Davis is histin in water ez
fast ez be kin carry it. Mrs. Bascom is rms
in out old barls, to which she adds kyan pep
per and camfene. Eff he'd some Scotch snuff
it wood help. Will hold out ez long ez it is
possible But it's terrible. A man jist come
in and demanded gallon b."
''Hev jist put a spiggot in the last barl, and
the Corners is howliD. 1t won't last an hour.
b."
Then an expedient segested itself to me. I
sent this note:
slime is everything. Bust the spiggot.
WITCH he did, thus keepin the wolves at bay
for an hour, while it wuz bein repaired.
But why harrow the public buZum with the
detales of thiss paneful story. The end wuz
inevitable. Drop by drop, drink by drink,
pint by pint, that likker wuz ebbn away, and
each drop weakened the bank. That likker
wuz our life-bud, and ez it flowed we wilted.
Waterin the barl was merely palliative;
and it wuz with feelin Nv relief that saw
| Geo w. throw up his hands and exclaim:
| 'ITs all gone but gallon, which shel keep
| for my own yoose. It's all gone, and L can't
get another drop in Louisville"
And he dropt his head despondingly on a
pile nv about $l2, 900 nv our currency, witch be
hedn't taken off the bar, and wept lespondin-
'Wby can't 700 get more?" demanded the
excited populis.
"Becos l amt got no money but this, and
yoo coodn't git bari Nv whskey in Louisville
for car load NV it"
L attempted to reason with the people, 1
told em that one reason Nv our wealth wuz
that we he'd it in currency thet we cOodent
send away from home, thus keepin our capital
within ourselves, but they refoosed to listen
to me. The id my banks, they id me,
and they went for the bank, swearin that if
| the wuz anything thare that Good be converted
| into likker Bascom shood hev it. 1t is on
necessary to remark that they didn't find any
| thing. Antissipatin an onpleasantnis, we he'd
| removed the yaly yooables to a place of safety,
wich wnz the undeIside nv my bed at Deekin
| Pogram's.
Then they demanded that tha money they
| held be redeemed into suthn they Good yoose,
| but Nv coarse we declined 10 discuss the mat
| ter referrin them to the terms Of the isshoo ez
| expressed on the notes, ez well ez their own
endorsement Nv the skeem.
But this didn't satisfy em. They deliberate
| ly brought out $675,000 NV the isshoos Nv the
| various banks, and pilin Nv it up on the street.
| sot fire to it, dancin a demoniac dance around
| it. This amoozed me, for Nv coarse he'd no
| earthly objecshen to their redeemin Nv it in
| that way, but when 1 seed 'em riggin ropes to
the trees in the visinity, remarkt to my fellow
officers: Gentlemen, yoor President hez pres
| sin biznis in yonder forest" and 1 got out ez
| rapidly ez my poor wasted limbs wood permit
| flatter myself that made tollable time for a
man NV my age, whose strength is mostly in
| his stomich. Indeed, wen l turned and saw
| ten or a dozen nv the foremost men of the Cor
| ners cost behind me, and all shoutin Hang
the id thief?' no gentle gazelle that ever
! heerd Nv ever skinned the plain ez did.
| dix not cease Iunnin till i got into the middle
| NV the big swamp.
Wat become NV the uther drekters don't
| know. The last fond look that turned toards
| the bank saw Issaker Gayitt and Deekin Po-
gram strugglin in the hands nv the mob, wieh
| wuz playfully forcin Nv EN- to sit down on
| burnin pile up ther own currency.
l am in deserted hut in a swamp. wich wuz
| yoozed by runaway ngges in the old times,
| and am fed by niger farmer, who hez not
| heerd Nv the kollapse, and consekently takes
| his pay in the Unlimited. Eff the nooze ever
| gets to him NV the reel condishun NV things
| and he shets off supplies, or reveels my where
| abcuts, am lost man.
Wat changes ther is in life. A week ago
successful finanseer, and the pet Nv the populls
the saviour NV the Corners! To day hunted
| fugitive, livn on hoe-cake furnishes by a mig
| ger. One needs to be a flosopher.
PETROLEUM v. NAsBY,
Late President nv the Onlmted Trust and
| Confidence Company.
N B.-I hev heerd from the Corners. The
ungrateful people after half KILN the officers
| NV the bank, passed resolutions that we wuz
| all pack NV thieves, and that them ez he'd
| sold land and sch for our money shood 500 for
| recovery therof, and that they'd hang any
| Judge wich woodn't deside agn US. Bascom
hez gone back onto US, and haz sold back to
| Pollock and Bigler the store we bot Nv them,
| and hez got greenbvx enuff TO 5lt a few barls
Nv likker, and hez reopened. He hez put the
| price NV iikker down to five cents agin, and re-
foozes to take anything for it but nickels and
postal currency. He sez he amt gittin ez
many caat-loads nv money ez he did in the in
fiashun period, but he's satisfied. The most
Nv the citizens is bankrupt. and rooin is eyry-
where Oh why did their faith give out at the
| wrong time! p. V. N.