davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-02-18
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

-. "Sally, what time do you folks dine?''.
"Soon as you 60 away that's missus orders"
- Conclusion of Cofax's lecture on Lin
coin: "Having reached the toprost round Of
the ladder of fame, he stepped into the SKIES"
A physician advised patient to "take a
walk on an empty stomach" "Whose stom-
ach ?" feeblv asked the patient.
"A grocer in the suburbs, when complained
to about selling bad eggs, said: "At this time
of the year the hens are not we'll, and often
lay bad eggs"
"A Nevada man who had seven homely
daughters, got paper to hint that he had sew
en- kegs filled with gold in bis cellar, and every
girl was married in five months. >
- They tried to scare man in Missouri by
threatening to tar and feather him, but he re-
Piled "Come on with your old tar; T .e been
there six times, and I've got receipt for wash
ing it off,"
A short man became attached to tall
woman, and somebody said that he had .tallc,
in love with her. "Do you call it fallen in
love?" said the suitor: "it's more like climb
ing up to it."
"A woman living near the Richard Mine,
in Morris County, N. j., lost by the burning of
the emigrant ship Cospatrick eight brothers,
two sisters and her mother, besides several
other near relations
GA home without children is like high
heaven without angels" says Kentucky pa
per- We just want to have him get out of bed
four times night for month to keep the
baby's legs covered up.
- A colored gentleman went to consult one
of the most "high-toned" lawyers in Boston,
and after stating his case said: "Now knows
you's a lawyer; but I wish you would please,
sar, jss tell the truff bout dat matter"
A Maryland man whose wife dropped
dead few days ago, had the funeral put off
one day longer to get the balance of his corn
husked. He said it wouldn't make any diff
ference to her, as she was always good-natured.
Mamma, where do the cows get their
milk?" asked Willie, looking up from the
foaming pan of milk which he had been intent
ly regarding "Where do you get your tears7"
was the answer. After thoughtful silence, he
again broke out: "Mamma, do the COWS have
to be spanked p
- At dancing party in western Kentucky
the other night, to which several women came
with their babies, some young men changed
the clothes of the infants while their parents
were dancing, and mixed them up generally.
The following day there was great row, and
as the families lived miles apart, it took sew
eral days to unmix the children.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-02-18

A BRIEF TEMPERANCE LECTuRE.-There is
one man in South Leayenworth who will for
ever have occasion to remember the terrible
consequences of getting dead drunk in zero
weather His name is Joseph Barnes, he lives
Just west of Broadway, and the particulars of
his sad case are briefly as follows:
Three nights ago he attended u party given
at neighbOr's house, accompanied by his wife.
On their way home the woman discovered that
she had dropped her apron, and requested her
husband to stay where he was till she went bac,
and recovered the lost article 1t was very cold,
indeed. and when she returned she did not find
her husband where she had left him. Suppo-
sing he had gone to neighboring saloon to
get drink, she went home without him, and
never gave his sudden disappearance a second
thought till the next morning. AS he had not
then put in an appearance she thought possibly
something might be wrong and started out in
search of him. His whereabouts could not,
however, be ascertaned. For two days and
nights the search was continued, and no trace
of the missing one was found till ne crawled in
to his own home, Wednesday noon, in a most
wretched plight, and with hands and feet so
badly frozen that they will have to be ampu
tated.
Barnes says that after leaving his wife he
went to a saloon and took two or three big
drinks to keep out the cold. After going out
in the air again he did not know anything till
he awoke from his stupor, nearly torty-eight
hours afterward, and found himself in gully
on his back in a vacant lot west of Broadway,
completely stifened up, and it was with the
greatest agony that he was enab led to crawl on
his hands and knees to the shanty where he
lived. The loss of hands and feet will be a
terrible aff1iction to the suffering man.-Leau-
en7Dbrth CDgl2rerciQI
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-02-18

"A man was seen coming out of Texas
newspaper office with one eye gouged out, and
his nose spread all over his face like piece of
raw beef, and one of his ears bitten Oft. TO a
policeman who interviewed him he replied :
II didn't like an article that 'peared in the pa
per last week, and went to see the man who
writ it, He was thar, stranger"
- The passions are at once tcmptcrs and
chastisers. AS tempters, they come with gar
lands of flowers on the brows of youth as
chastisers, they appear with wreaths of snakes
on the forehead of dcformity. They are an
gels of light in their delusion; they are fcnds
of torment in their infections.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-02-18

- True courage is cool and calm. The
bravest of men have the least of brutal, bully
ing insolence, and in the very time of danger
are found the most serene and free.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-02-18
How Nick Bowers Was Caught.

. Nick Bowers was member of the original
Christy Minstrels, and in his day, was the
greatest "middle man interogator'' known in
the profession Nick used to tell, with great
merrimeat, an incident of his boyhood. 10
preserve the favor Of the relation, we will re-
cord it in Nick's own language, and only re-
gret that we cannot accompany 1t with MS
imitable gesticulations.
"My Old man." said Nick, "as general
thing, was a pretty steady old gent, but once
| in white he would get oblivious, and water
was not the: cause of it. l recolFect certain
holiday was approaching, and | had been
skinning around to get a little money TO nave
a. time with on that day. but the fates and
nurses were against me. It was but two days
prior to the anticipated holiday, and hadn't
|! nary q red.. Remember this, boys, when l add
that on the same. afternoon came into the
house, when 10 there on the floor, totally
overcome by his libatious, lay my respected
daddy, and beside him lay six shining half
dollars which had rolled from his pocket
Bows, I've been an honest man all, my LITE, but
once when boy committed theft. L hook
ed one of those half dollars. Thinks to my
self, the old mans been on jamboree, and
won't know how much he spent, and will new
er miss it. But mark you, the next morning
and INV two brothers were summoned into my
fathers presence. The old MANS face lowered,
/ thought of the half dollar, and l knew that
storm was brewing"
"Boys," said he, "last night when l came
home I had six half dollars. One of 'em's
gone. Your mother didt take it. There's
been no one else in the house. Which one OF
you took it?"
We all protested our innocence. ;. i,
"Boys," said the old man, "that half dollar
20 op6, Tn, rninu t0 find Olltj
which one of you took it." -,
Turning round, he took down from the wall
an old fint-lock blunderbuss. This ne delib-
erately loaded with powder and bnckshot IN
our presence; then fastening it on the table,
cooked it, took seat behind, holding the string
in his hand, aud in solemn tones addressed us
thusly:
"Boys, am going to discover the thief and
punish him at the same time. You must each
of YOU blow into the muzzle of that gum
When the guilty one blows, off goes his head.
Now then, you have a chance; will you own
up or blow up?'
"Ben." said the old man to my oldest broth
er, ''have you got that half dollar?"
"No, sir.'
"Take blow"
"Nick," (eh, boys, tell you the chills be-
gan to roll down my back ''got that halt dol
lar?"
"No, sir" said l, with defiant swagger.
"Blow that gum"
1 walked: up bravely, gave blow, and
lodged
Chick" said the old man in voice of thun-
der, "where's that half dollar3"
He had me. The truth lodged out of me.
Said I, "out in the barn, pap.
HOLD On, Boys.-Hold on to your tongue,
when YOU are just ready to swear, lie, or speak
hastily, or use an improper word.
Hold on to your hand when you are about to
strike, steal, or do an improper act
Hold on to your foot, when you are on the
point of kicking, running away from study, or
e ,1o
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-02-18

HOLD On, Boys-Hold on to your tongue,
when YOU are just ready to swear, lie, or speak
hastily, or use an improper word.
Hold on to your hand when you are about to
strike, steal, or do an improper act.
Hold on to your foot, when you are on the
noint of kicking, running away from study, or
pursuing the path of error, shame or crime.
pOde Hold On to your temper when you are angry,
excited or imposed upon, or others are angry
about you. 49,, ,u.o..
Hold on to your heart, when ev!l persons
seek your company and lnViee you 10 J0in 'neif
games, mirth or revelry. r.
Hold on 70 your good name, at all times tor
it is more valuable to you than gold, hlgn
places or fashionable attire.
Hold on to the truth, for it will serve you
we'll, and do you good throughout eternity
to you in all times and in all places.
Hold on to your good charcter, for it is, and
always will be, your best wealth.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04

PKIoE or SUBSCRIPTION.
Single Subscription, for tiity Nos, : 80
For ak mouths, w
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04
SQuAsro.

The fonr sheep that took the premi-
um at the County Fair last fall, have
Welded total OF I55 pounds of wool.
viz: The three year old buck IA
pounds: one year old buck 10 pounds
three year old eve ~ pounds: onr year
old eve 3 pounds. They belonged To
Joshua Parker.
"A fashionable young lady not
league from this city. gave her mother
a beating aud tore the clothes from her
back, as penalty for hiding her p,,ent
hustle and other gear. The old woInsn
told where the inery was hidden, under
threat TO drown her If she didn't give
up the goods.
The receipts by the railroad for the
past week were 35 hogsheads OF tobacco.
4g packages of bacon, % kegs AMI
barrels OF lard, GO barrels and boxes OF
eggs. $50 sacks aud one car load OF corn.
20 kegs of beer, 20 boxes Of butter. :
cars OF coal. several lots households
goods and miscellaneous merchandise.
! The Evansville journal, which l.
good suthority, saws that work was io
have been resumed on the Lake Erie.
Evansville * Southwestern Railroad.
between Boonville aud IIuntingburg.
last week. As soon rs the road vs. CONF
pleted to Huntinghurg, we shall have
railway connection with Evansville, ss
the c. II. x ). ". K. n. will Ne NJ Hunt
.ingburg az soon ~ the Lake Eric road j..
The prospects now are that Spencer
icounty will this year raise nj least double
the amount Of iosacco produced la-i
year a large AMOUNT Of tobacco has
been set out already aud the supply of
plants in most localities j. ample. Bug-
have begun thrit work aud il will keep
the tobacco rai~ers busy DESTROYING
them. Pepper !. being used to poison
them, and Farmers report good results
iron its use. Cayenne is the most ei-
fectivc.
The Board nf Directors OF the sss,
citation for publishing German paper
have decided To rall II The Banner" F"
They have elected g.. l.. Reinhsrd, Eeu.
lcdilor, and George Slurm basiness
manager.
The Board of Directors Ia composed
lof the following gentlemen. +. Wei,
Precedent Frank Roth, Vice -Presideni
J ". Jacobs, ~.cr,iary; Matt Hirscl
tTreasurer, aud e., ,. procsskey.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04
Concerning a Division Of the
school Fund.

from NhicrAp~s sun Editorial.
Education is acknowledged to con-
stitnte the basis of civilization and true
religious progress, aud that system OF
schools which will educate the mass OF
common people, those who are unable
to pay for the education of their child
rem or fail TO properly appreciate its i'm
portance, is decidedly the best.
Now is it not evident TO any fair
minded man that If there were none but
sectarian schools, there would be vast
number Of children that such system
OF education would fail to reach, conse-
lquently there would be a retrogade in
civilization and fearful neglect of re-
ligious institutions. Ii would not do TO
argue in this age Of intelligence that
education is not an essential element
in religions progress, for all must see
that II j.; but there are those that con-
tend that children should be educated
ia religion in the same schools and at
the same time that thev are taugh; the
common branches OF learning. This we
respectfully DENY. and demand proof Of
the assertion. Children are only in
school thirty hours in week, while
they have eighiy-two hours ont of
school, besides the same length OF time
for sleep. Now is not this ample time
TO learn the principles and rules Of re-
ligion? And would it lot be far better
10 entrnst this important work to par
ents and ministers and Sabbath schools.
than to allow it TO be taught by school
teachers who are often but poorly quail
lifted for such instruction.? This is GER
taihlv plain proposition. and one
which must be answered in the afiirina-
Tive. As far as we are concerned il
makes no difference what church or secl
OF Christians demand government sup
port for their schools and system of re-
lligion, we shall raise our voice and
WELD our pen against it,
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04
TOT INt dNsrFF 7 ouflff
California Correspondence.


Mr.. EDITOR = Thinking perhaps you
did not have many correspondent from
this part of the world, | thought it
would likely interest your readers 10
hear from the Golden Stale.
This is "A beautiful country healthy
climate. no sickness Ia speak Oi. aud but
very lew graves. The weather gets
very warm in the Summer. bp, nct sui
Try; the nights are cool aud pleasant all
summer. The ground in the winter
freezes but very little, and water stand
ing out of doors all night never freezes
thicker than knife blade. Ii never
SHOWS here on the plains. or in the val
leys. but We eau see snow on the noun
tains all the time. We live % miles
West OF the Sacramento river. in a
small valley ia the hills. There i, a
mountain stream running through the
valley; it is a great stream cor fish.
There il plenty of wild game la the
mountains. On the plains they canuot
raise anything bat small grain. wheat
land barley; Un the river aud streams
they raise garden vegetables and fruit
ini all kinds, from apples 10 oranges and
figs, and grapes that one bunch weighs
from three To I'VE pounds. Hay harvest
j. over. aud wheat harvest has com
inenccd. aud will continue until the
last OF September. The we. season sets
in the first of November and lasts until
the first Of April. Itnever rains a drop
through the summer. ! would just say,
/ this is the place Tor poor man, or a
young man that il on the work. Har-
lNa.t ,,-a,,.u aro frof, eo 10 s4 NOR 40 ~
and ordinary farm hands wages S35 tC
sac per month from the first of October
TO the first of May. They do not carr,
ON work here like they do in the States
they head their wheat and stack ii with
out binding; they do their ploughng
and sowing in the winter.
\ would like TO tell you more of Cali
fornia. but fearing have already tired
t your patience, will close.
T.. J. kELso.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04
For the Jasper CoeIier.
JERUSALEM SQCIBS.


Mr.. EDITOR will you give space in
your paper Tor few items FROM this
place.
-Onr farming class are wearing low
ful faces at present on account Of Hsay-
ems sunshine resting down Oh them So
sweetly.
Oats look very we'll in this locality.
We are expecting to reap perhaps
an average half crop Of wheat ia this
vicinity this coming Summer.
No items of public interest from
this place, Is our reporter has been
wrapped ia dreary silence for some time
past, we hope he will now be more at
tentive to his duties and send weekly
communications 10 the welcome old
Courier for publication.
- B's school is out next Friday.
Sickness has deferred him from MS du-
ties, even from the beginning Of his
school. Nevertheless the employers OF
said school pronounce him the oes; pre-
ceptr that they have ever had.
Rev. Geo. {. Cooper, of Hunting
burg, ,illed the appointment Of l.. Jones
for this place on sabbath last lie
chose as a foundation for the basis Of
his remarks, these words; 1.-The fool
sayeth in his heart, there is no Cod
then he began TO confute the doctrine
of infidelity, aud in moment told the
glad story. All under the sound Of
his voice were highly delighted with
the way he was running this subject,
but we can give only passing notice oil
his interesting sermon in this place, and
will bid him adieu by saying, come
again.
MIR. John NJ. Kemp while travelling
TO and fro over his farm the other day
found a curious stone, and upon close
Investigation lie pronounced ii to be
diamond. 1t weighs of pound; is
OF fine pearl white and was picke, up
near flint mine, where We suppose the
Indians had encamped while they pos-
sesssd the wild forests OF old uoosier.
| We see "a glittering description oil
blazing intellect exhibited in the Grand
view Monitor by, We think, young
school teacher anI his better-half. We
don't wish Ia 1c hard or to censure any
one, butwe know by past experience
that one glass house will stand stoning
as well as another; chaG won't stay
with us this windy weather.
Aaron Bruncr has served his time
in the regular army and has come home
to settle himself ia life. He SAYS he
travelled during his five year. enlistment
one million miles.
| More items next week.
| SyCAAIO.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04
T.. J. kELso.

0U The newspapers of both parties
are taking ground against the introduce
tion OF the bible or sectarian text books
into our free schools. As the Courier
has repeatedly said, this policy seems
the only iair one with which to meet
and refuse the demands made by cer-
tain Catholic clergymen for division
of the school fund. Whenever the
course Of study in the common schools
is entirely free from scctaran bias, that
moment the cause for the demand for a
division OF the school fund is removed.
~ Evansville Courier.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04
.usIlsusD EVERY FRIDAY, AT JASPER,
pvBVs COUNTY, INDIANA, bf
CLEMENT DOANE.

OFFICE. In COURIER Buli.DIsc oNI
Wzsr MArS STREET.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04

AT a country church in this county
the other dav. one Of the members
prayed after this fashion: 20 Lord, as
sist me to be a better Christian. am
determined to try to lead a more cor
rect life. and think can succeed, for
since have sold my oxen and got a
horse. | don't have to cuss SO d-----l
much. Il Brunswicker.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04
y. 1T. NNAET,
Supt. Public Instruction.
OFFICE OF ATTORNEY GFNFRAL,l
ISDlANAPoLIs. MAY 2l. 1875.


ISDiANAPoLIs. Nav 81. 1875.
Hon James u. Smart. superintendent Of Public In.
strcctiun:
SIR: Some time since you addressed
TO me communication containing an
inquiry a. TO whether the boards oi
Trustees of incorporated towns. and TIE
Common Councils of incorporated cit
ies. should elect, az their first regular
meeting in tho month of June next. one
or three school trustees, under the pro-
visions Of the act approved March L.
1875. Laws OF 1875, page l35.
Since that time | have given to your
question very careful consideration. and
have arrived at the opinion that the
safer course will be 10 elect but one
school trustee. will not attempt
within the space of this letter. TO give
my reasoning in support of this conclu'
sion. refer, however, TO Ely W.. Hol
ton, Is n. y. 695.
!. | confess that the question of the
proper construction 10 be given TO tn,
said act Of March IL. 1878. seems TO me
in the absence Of an adjudication by oul
courts, TO be somewhat doubtful. Bu
the election of one school trustee in
June next, is practically a safe course
because of the provision in our State
constitution. that person elected TO an
office for given term shall be permit
tied 10 hold such office until his successor
shall be elected and qualified
Very Respectfully, etc,
4 &. "A. BusKiRK,
Attorney General.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04

~Lone Horn, biz chief of the
Sioux, Is now in Washington, taking
with the Great Father" Ulysses. II
his name was "Two-I o-IIorns-with-Suga
in-them," no person would be allowed
to disturb his tete a tste with tho
President.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04
,.rrs az ApyEET-sEISG.

For square. 10 lines or less, week, 81 90
ra.h srhsenuent Insertion. 75 cts.
Longer advertisements nj the same rate,
A FRACTION over even square or squares,
,ouuted As square. These are the terms
Car transient advertisements reasoua-
bic deduction will be made TO regular
advertisers.
Notices Of appointment OF admins
traitors and legal notices of like charactei
10 be paid in advance.
ASxouScI>G CANDIDATES.
For Township Officers, each Sl.o
rar Countv $50
rsr D;.t,ict Circuit. or State. 500
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04

- A movement has been inaugura.
ted for the purpose of raising fund tc
erect monument TO the memery OF
Hon. Milton B. Hopkins, late Superin-
tcndent of Public Instruction. II il
ipteHdcd TO erect this monument solely
by contributions from teachers and
friends of education. who may donat,
one dollar each, but no moro.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04
cnly One Schoo, Trustee 10 bs
Elected. inst eaG of Three.

Those Who have Kept informed re-
( riding matters pertaining TO the school
hoard. i'll remember that the law re
1arling be elections Of school trustees
incitics. was changed 80 a. 10 read That
The election he held by City Councils
ON the first regular meeting in Jane.
instead of az The first regular meeting
in April. a. heretofore. The law was
SO indi,iinct that il lett the mind In
doubt as 10 whether or not m entire
new board OF trustees should bc elected
when il went inin effect. An opinion
was fir>I given that an entire new hoard
was to be elected. but subsequently, the
question was referred to HE Attorney
General, who gave an opinion which is
embodied in the following circular.
which explains itself
lNnIANAPoLis. Nav 81. 70.
IT, ttc MAYORS 4 Ces and 70 The prtsi enis Of Boards
~ Trustees Of Incorporated Towns
The subjoined communication is just
received from tie Attorney General
and yvn are hereby requested TO com
.municatc The same 10 the bodies ovel
which you preside.
Very Respectfully.
i IL SnApT
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04

The Boonvillc National Bank pan.
out to the amount Of nearly Sl65,W0
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04

The corporation Of Boonvilla levies
a tax of $50 on the .aloon-keepers.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1875-06-04

~ Let there be 40 secrets in medicine
lor rather no pretended secrets. The
Medical Faculty publish as soon "a
lnisde. all their discoveries. aud almost
lail that j. known OF real value for the
cure of disease has been discovered by
them. Dr. Aver takes the honorable
honest course. and right because it il
honest. lie goes 10 work and fivent-
the best remedy which medical skill
can devise for the cure of certain com.
.plainis; then publishes what it j.. and
maintains his control. OF it. solely by
lmgklng il cheaper, better. more nerfect
than any body else can. II the pcopl'
would exact this Ut All who offer uicdi
cines. they would have niue. less tre;.cl,
aud lras! 20 swallow.