davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
THOUGHTFUL THOUGHTS.

Men willingly believe what they
wish to be true.
Prejudice squints when it looks,
and lies when it talks.
To be furiously religious is to be
irreligiously religious.
Vulgarity, profanity and vileness
are no wit or real humor.
Things are shadows, but the chase
later them is real exercise.
The great end Of good education
is to form a reasonable man.
Many treat the gospel with indllfer-
ence upon the name of liberallty.
Pride often builds the nest in which
poverty matches out its sorrows.
Liberality makes friends Of enemies
pride makes enemies of friends.
lie must be a thorough fool who
can learn nothing from his own folly.
The true secret of living at peace
with all the world is to have an hum
ble opinion Of ourselves.
1t is not wise to loose a friend to
whom you can do a kindness, Or from
whom you can take one.
That man is voted q bore who per-
sists in talking about himself when
you wish to talk about yourself.
Teach children to love everything
that is beautiful and you will teach
them to be beautiful and good.
lie that does base thing in zeal
for friend, burns the golden thread
that ties their hearts together.
Mankind in the gloss is gaping
monster that loves to be deceived,
and has seldom been disappointed.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

CoMPoslTl0N ON ScuooL.-A Wis
consin school boy recently banded in
the following composition: Il 50 to
school to learn to read and rite and
siphor to slide on the ice and traid of
an old nife if | have one, in summer
| pick wild flowers and Strawberries
and to get out of work on hot days
some boys have to 50 to school to get
out of their mothers road, butt would
rather stay in winter than 50 to miles
and set by a cold stove and freeze my
toes. | like to 60 to school to see the
teacher scold the big girls when they
cut up, some goes to school to fool but
| 60 to study when we are old we cant
60 to school and then we will fee
sorry that we fooled when we was
young and went to school | don't get
no time to fool anyhow for | have
enough to do when it comes to my
geography.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

There" and the second shirt followed
Its predecessor. "And here's one" he
growled again, growing warm and be.
ginning to perspire, feeling very I'M
comfortable, that's lost the buttons
If | have told that woman once | have
told her dozen times to see that the
buttons were all right. Maria knows
that | look ridiculous with shirt
unbuttoned. Confound it; why don't
she sew on the buttons % with whioi
remark the indignant man threw the
bu.tonlcss garment over his head and
it lodged on the gas pipe and grace
fully hung down like domestic flag
of truce. Mr.. Hasty was getting
warm, very uncomfortable and very
angry. There was only one garment
left. Mr.. Hasty examined it, fully
determined to tear it to pieces if it was
out Of order.
1t was not out Of order, however. -
SO he carefully examined the neck,
cuffs, back, front, and sides and found
it in perfect trim.
"Tbis must be a new shirt said
he, arising. Maria never keeps my
shirts in such good order Then he
took out the garment and endeayored
to put it on. Just as ! thought, he
again muttored, ut don 1T. I Won
der when Maria will learn 10 make me
shirt that will fit. This is too mar
row in the middle and too wide at the
top, and there are no collar buttons.
"Why, plague take the thing ex-
claimed Mr.. lIasty, when he found
that the end Of the garment fell below
his knees, "what fearful slack was
in this shirt.
Having finished dressing At last,
although he felt as he himself express,
ed it, like turkey before thanl,sgiv-
ing, lie slowly descended TIC stairs
and entered the rarlor a his most dig
nifcd and impressive manner.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

Mr.. Hasty rs gentleman who is
ordinarily very particular N ali
matters pertaining to dress. Mr..
IIastv would no more think Of appear
ing in q garment tie least bit shabby
than he would Of standing on his head
in the parlor window. or executing a
double-shuhie on the dining table
Add to this popularity the fact that
he;s grave Of face and portly in figure
ard il will be seen that lie is q man OF
sober dignity, and not given to foolish
frivolities Of youth.
This description Of Mr.. Hasty will,
therefore, explain why, upon being
met at the hell door Gre evemrg after
dark Ey his wife with the whispered
warning, Hurry up stairs, dear, and
fix yourself, there's company in the
parlor," he FASTENED to the second
story lront room to make himself pre-
sentable.
1t was dark in the room, and Mr.
Hasty could find no matches, "Well, y
thought he, "never mind, my face is
clean, and I will Only need to put on
clean shirt.
Then Mr.. Hasty carefully took of
his coat and vest preparatory to put
ting On his clean shirt, AID having
opened the bureau drawer he began
to examine the contents to find the
desired article,
Now, if there was che garment about
which Mr.. Hasty was more particular
than another, it was his shirt. Have
that insisting or speckel in the least,
and he was in indescribable torment
Indeed, in this respect Mr.. Hasty may
be regarded as having been slightly
over-sensitive. And SO he, feeling
the contents of the bureau drawer in
the dark, could for time find nothing
to suit his fastidious taste.
"This thing" said he, carefully feel
ing the first shirt he found, g is all
worn out in the neck. | do despise a
shirt worn out in the neck-it makes
me feel like -" Mr.. II. said no
more, but threw the offensive garment
into the middle of the room. "And
here is one" he muttered, slowly pass
ing his fingers over the wristbands,
chats all ragged at the cuffs. Won
der why in the world my wife don't
stop gadding about among the neigh
bors and attend 10 my clothes, If she
lmagines I want to look like street
8crarer she's very much miStahen,-~
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
WESTERN MD. HOTEL.
Transient If0ardcrS.

and SUMNER BOARDERS from the
cities during warm weather. The locality
is airy and delightful, good water and a
quiet abode free from the noise and bustlc
Of town or city.
G5Y- The rooms are airy, clean and well
furnished. The house is ncw ard in good
repair 49,.
Tho TABLE will be furnished in coed
style, with all the substantials and delica-
cies Of the season.
sB- Persons from Baltimore or other
large cities will find j: pleasant place 10
larry during the warm season.
t5y- 1t is directly on the line Of the West
ern Maryland Raifroad, easy of access.
Terms for board reasonable; apply soon.
MARTIN G. OVERHOLTZER,
Proprietor.
April 25-4w%
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
HI BUGS.

Benevolent men who never give I'M
less their names go into print.
City hash houses, where each one
eats anothcrs leayinss.
Men who, belonging to any society
undertake to rule or ruin it.
Ministers who believe in Gods love
hut preach His runishmcnts.
a store that advertises goods at
cost, but means at cost to the purchaser
Men who always oppose smoking, but
whose rooms always smell Of the cigar
Two dollars for dinner that con.
sists mostly Of little napkins and huge
darkies.
Christianity that wears itself out in
professions and let's other people do
the work.
Banks that pretend to be able tc
pay the last dollar, but means the last
in their possession.
Strong men who vii, not work for
enough to live on, but will depend on
others for aid.
Que h un drcd thousand dollar
churches in which to worship Him
who had not where to lay his head.
Merchants who buy costly goods
hire the largest stores, and make a
big display in the large window and
are too stingy to advertise.
A party pretending to favor honesty
and reform but nominating men known
to be dishonest and unfit for the posi-
ton.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19


AN old fashioned couple who were
waiting at the Central Depot recently
to continue their journey westward,
were stroIling up third street and gsz-
ing around, when the woman espicd
one Of the street cars Of the city rail-
way, which happened to be empty at
the moment. "That's a horse car re-
piled her husband to her query. 80
that's a horse car, Ell, she unused
mounting the step and looking in "well,
now, who'd ever think that they'd 50
and fix up cars as nice as that for
horses to lide IN,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
s.CATOCTIN CLARION
A WEEKLY NEWSPAPER


Containing carefully prepared abstract
of the News of the Day historical
sketch of Past Events in Frederick county,
Foreign and Domestic Intelligence; Topics
Of the Times; carefully prepared Markets;
items Of Interest, political or otherwise !;
Local Intelligence, and q rare selection OF
obstructive Reading.
TERMs-$1 SO in advance; 81 % at the
end Of the year.
EB- Single copies-5 cents.
RATES OF ADVERTISING
Transient Advertisements TO be pan Tor
Invariably in advance.
One Square, four Insertions or less III e so
-" ." each Subsequent inser. ~
i" " two months oO
" three months: 80
" six months I: = GU
/" " one year : w
Twelve lines constitute square
c~ A liberal deduction made to yearly
advertisers. -,
~ Local or special notices Ter cents
"a line.
JOB PRINTING executed with neat
ness and dispatch, and on liberal terms
Materials all new and good impression
guaranteed, ,,,,,,v
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
To the Voters Of Fred.
crick County.

X ENTLEMEN-Grateful for the very
W fattering vote / received at the last
Republican Nominating Convention, ]
again at the urgent solicitation of n any
warm friends in the several districts OF the
county, announce myself as candidate
for the next Shcritfalty, and respectfully
solicit your support. -
June l3te JOHN SWEADNER.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

A New Engjander, riding in a rail
road car, seemed particularly anxious
to astonish the other passengers with
tough stories of Yankeedom. At last
he mentioned that one Of his neigh.
bors owned an immense dairy, and
made a million pounds of butter and
million pounds Of cheese yearly
This story produced some sensation
and the Yankee, perceiving that his
vcracity was in danger OF being ques
toned, appealed to a friend as fol
lews:
"Truc, isn't it Mr.. P? I speak O.
Deacon Brown you know Deacon
Brown?'
"Y. e-e-s, replied the friend" "that
is, yes, | know Deacon Brown; don
know as / ever heard precisely how
many pounds Of butter and cheese he
makes year, but | know that he has
twelve saw mills that go by butter
milk
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
II think | can suit YOU to q hail

Il think ! can suit you to a hair.
said boarding house land-lady to a
bachelor applicant wLo had been
stating his requirements. "Suit me
to hair, madam I hope not; that
what my last landlady tried to do,
and gave me three samples in the
butter"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

A YOUNG bride who had been fash
ionably educated was asked by her
husband to attend to the ordering of
the dinner. 1t is a fact that she
blandly requested the butcher to send
home !" a leg of tongue II pounds Of
steak and two hAlibut.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

A YOUNG lady at home from board
ing school for tie holidays, was asked
if she would have roast beef, when
she replied "No, I thank you; gas
Economical safety admonishes me
that | have arrived at the ultimate
stage Of deglution consistent with
dietetic integrity" The Young lady
was never again asked if she would
have anything.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

always with increased admiration."l
1t hath been said for all who die
There is tear,
Some pining, bleeding beast to sigh
Oor every bier.
But at that hour of pain and dread
Who will draw near
Around my humble couch and shed
Ono farewell tear?
Who'd watch life's last departing ray
In deep despair,
And sOOtllo my spirit on its way
With holy prayer:
What lnourncr round my bier will come
In weeds of woe,
And fellow mc to my long home
Solemn and slow?
When laying on my claycy bed
In iCy sleep,
Who there, by pure affection led,
VIII come and weep:
By the pale moon implant the rose
Iron my breast,
And bid it cheer my dark rcposo-
My lowly rest.
Could but know when am Sleeping
Low in the ground,
Orc faithful heart would there be keeping
Watch all night round,
As if GONE gem lay shrincd beneath
That sod's cold gloom;
Would mitigate tlic pangs OF death
AnG light the tomb.
Yes if in tina, hour could feel
From ,lalis of g'ce
And Bcauty's presence, and would steel
In secrecy,
And come aNG sit and weep for me
In night deep moon,
Oh | would #si Of memory
No other bota.
But, all. a lonlicr f..t is mine
4 deeper woe
From all love in youth sweet time
soon must 60;
Draw round my pale robes Of white
In a dark spot might
TO sleep through deaths long drcamtca.
lone and forgot.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

An old lady was recently inquirlns
the way to third story room in the
Mofat building, when a man pointed
down the hall and said "Thcre's the
elevator" Good sakesl !" she ex-
claimed, giving sudden start, II had
brother bit in two by one O them
alIigators, and l don't want to go
pohing around here if that reptile is
loose"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

An Irishman WAS once indulging
in the very intellectual occupation Of
sucking raw eggs and reading news
paper. By some mlschauce he con-
trived to bolt live chicken. The
poor bird chirruped as it went down
his throat, and he very politely OBJ
served: "Be the powers, me friend.
ye spoke leetle to late !"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
THE HOG.

The following definition Of hog
is the composition of youthful gran
ger. A hog is big pig, but little
pig amt big hog. There is three
kinds ofhogs-whits hogs, black hogs,
and two-legged hogs. If you want
to drive a hog you must ever drive
him the contrary way. Hogs is like
women in that respect, you can drive
EN- better by coaxing. In other ways
hogs amt like women, except daddy
says they are never satisfied and al
ways grunting. Women wear ear
rings in their ears, but hogs wear EN-
in their nose. Daddy says that so
they can t nose it. Hogs is very use
full. A hogshead holds water, and
his tail makes nice whistle, but
daddy says you can't make a silk
purse out of pigs ear. A hog has
ten feet; two four feet, that's eight,
and two hind feet, that's ten. Daddy
likes hams bes:; he gays he's had the
cold shoulder so often he's tired Of it.
Some hogs is fat and some isn't;
good hog always has a cur
ley tail. Daddy says it's like the
Esq. to q mans name, more for orna-
ment than anything else. Daddy's
hog was fat once, but he amt now;
daddy had to tie not in his tail to
keep him from crawling through the
boards of the pen.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

An intolerable bore, having talked
a friend nearly out of his senses.
finally struck out on the "oystor,
which he called zone of the most re-
markaole specimens ofcreative wisdom
extant;" when his friend interrupted
him, and closed the debate with tue
oxclamaton-"the oyster! All, yes
the oyster is glorious fellow ! lie
always knows when to shut up!
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
MUSIC!

kitty Mckay. Song and Chorus. Hays, 3;
Out in the Snow; or, Drunkard's
Child. Hays. 49,. -. AZ
Sweet little May. Song and Chorus. .
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

Miss Addio Lake, of Hamilton,
called it "cow -cumber," and her en-
ragged mother hit her with the History
of Canada, and broke her collar bone.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

A PAINTED sign on ar eating house
on New Jersey railroad reads Coffee
and eggs fresh lid by Mary Jones,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
THE GODS ARE HUNGRY,

Never did war, among either say.
age or civilized peoples, assume SC
sinister an aspect, as when it was car,
r;"3an under tho g,ise OF religion, tc
finnish those human ban1ucts which
some people have thought it necessary
to lay before their gods. That "tAc
gods We're hungry was the cause OIL
wars among many ancient races, bUt
notably 50 among the Mex.cans. The
object Of wars among the A2tccs Wae
far less territorial or personal a9gran-
dizcment chan the procuring cfhuman
victims TO place before their deitlcs
More than two thousand Of such vic
TINS upon q moderate estimate, were
annually sacrificed in the Mexican
temples, and in some years more than
a hundred Thousand human beings are
believed 70 have persisted in this man.
nor. They also had a yearly sacrifice
to oae Of their idols, in which the vic
tim was beautiful youth, who was
worsLiped as a god for & whole year
before he was killed. -.SyiINcr' S Mag
azine.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
Selected MoetrW.
THE FORSAI1EN.

This poem, written by Stella" (Irs.
Estelle Anna Lcwis,) at the age of Ia, Poe
said was "thc most beautiful ballad Of the
kind ever written. We have read IT," he
remarked, "morc than twenty times, and
always with increased admiration"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

III. Samuel, has You moved yit >?
asked one colore,l man OF another
whom he met at market yesterday.
mo, Use still in de old place" was
the answer. "But I war told dat
you war gwino to get out oh de neigh
borhool," continued tho first. "WslI,
I did make up my mind to, but you
see de family next door, and de family
on de corner left dere wood-piles out
doors, and doesn desire to change.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
New Songs

Where has Ida gone? Song and
Chorus. Hays.
Don't forget me, Nellie. Song and
Chorus. Hays, ............
Nora, the Pride of kilkcc. Song and
Chlorine HAYS .i,.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
BY THE AUTHOR or

Follow up the Piow. Song and
Chorus. Hays. ......,'.
Ny Lost Louise. Song and CheFus.
Hays, .......s .s.....:
Lennic Darling Song and Chorus,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19

A RURAL swain, visiting Dayton
with his doxy, were observed at even-
ing standing near the ticket office at
the depot, waiting for their train. 1t
was cold and dreary, and the temper
allure WAS touching up the girls ears
and nose with blending of purple
and red. Look here, Josh" she
exclaimed petulantly, I'm tired
standing up here, I'm half frozes
Let's go to that place Ladies' room)
Everybody else goes in there + "No
stree I've spent enough money now,
and amt agoin' to Pay to 50 IN
there -
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-03-19
MOIIic Darling.

Old Caleb Song and Chorus. Hay, 81
Be STILL poor heart. Song and -
Chorus. Hays. ..,.n.... %
Out or The Sea. Song and Chorus,
Hays, ......,.......>,.. 80
Mailed, postpaid, on receipt of the mark
ed price,
aug.-Sm
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-12-26
Tine New Orleans Pacific Raiiroad

AGAIN We have 10 note steaiy and 90,
-lune1 progress N the New Orlears pslis
RAJ way, AID record the fact that TIE az,
cet;c. i've and accomplished ceu-rsno,
MAJ Or ). / James, is moving and wors,
U.ta a viii and with good resulta. H. Nh
Z. 10 draw backs of time. tide or = ",,i !,
Hu. tie steady and sure licks of ~ ,Ya !,
borers ring through the land VIII no n,
meaning sound. We want Ii, est-r M
better guaraLt-e Of the sure CONFLICTS,
tie road, go long as it remains Under 4
c0ntrac: and guidance. and in is, IN,
Three weeks its grading will be fEi-hel1
tue parish line. Almost every week Il,
aud fresh laborers are placed on il. ara
he present writing the effective .si]
force. with the aid of the muss al
s-rapers. can not be short OF $50 mel
H-tL such force, and tine wors. u. w!o,]
oat weather over, the parish uf %s:.
rocLes PORTION viii soon be put throw u. al
then Mansfield viii he the pex; ,g]
reached By early spring.
Mansfield reninds us G. pleasa-' L
n G.ote Than one sense. but just nls Il
aye Pleasantly reminded. and recor j. :
pleasure. that her parish, DE ) tu,
!a-eiE, by vote OF her snvertlsc -.O.7r1
holder, resolved 70 he taxed 80 % |
the t-neti, OF subscribing 10 he e8.,
sock 3t the railroad to that aL 1ur'
u ,ause here. and, while We Hr-s;te
.-at'@t Tor her brow, ask ii Rapiie. o Al
take the mint, and be aroused To -
pDE' aCca OF TIE situation. and shak4
drow-y and foggy s,upor and rise sa;.,
> IeT-elt, her interests aud the wh.u:. d
GROWS Of her croakers, now .fsrM1(
a'1GI': II sepnlchral garbs!-Rapp's J,
rP"ty
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-12-26
For the New Orleans Republican,
DREAMS AND MEDITATiONS ON
CHRISTMAS EVE.

looked al my stocking on Christmas eve
And thought of the days gone ty
Wien child sh fancy used to weave
Air castles frail, but high;
OF the time when my mothers sweet voice said,
'Ni2 child God bless you, good light
Santa Claus will come 10 your little bed,
And you u see what lie brings when it's ght.
Fer voice once again dIttint tly could hear
Be quiet, down the chimney he'll come
And brig 10 my boy something pretty 70 wear,
And a trumpet, top and drum.
Then my fancy on Wigs flew lar. far back
To those days of il tiLite joy;
could almost see " Kris Kring.e's' pack
And each painted, treasured toy,
Then thoGgLt OF my hspliest toy hood days,
when my heart was !gil: and tree
And mother taught NE 10 lisp the rrase
OF NY "od On Blended knee.
But her sol, white hand is Il ssing
From the place it used 20 rest,
As she kissed my childish happy brow
And clasped me 10 her bTeas';
But her mage 10 there dee p deep ~ my heart,
As sacred and hallowed the same
As in years hat are gone, vixen we did part
AL5 blessed NY mothers
Now another strange thought crept into NY mind
sad one, Of those, who lad gone;
OF the ki1dred and friends who were even kind,
They were dead and left sioLei
Left Alone, quite alone, IL this cruel cold word
WITH Ia ght but It's crosses to BEAR
And n heart by the sea % misfortune is huIl'd
'Gailst its shoals SO barren Ind dIeaI,
And thought Of the graves OF tie fileLt dead
WhoEe touls were waited aboye.
OF lie sweet kind words, IN nv yo.th they had
sad
AID ypb--td aVniD far their
Then weary and sick Of thoughts thick and fast
That crowded my fever lran.
] sank OF my pillow, to rest, at -ast,
Lrd free my heart from pain,
Bat dream drew her fanciul matte around
NJ tloL -rts wsIv carried once more
To NY Childish sports i'll the old Ilay ground,
Il '.ose happy daya Of yore.
/ could see tie bright sun sink down il tie West,
AID again Lear my mothers dear voice
As she called NE her darling. sank OIL ber breast
AID nv SOU seIned again to 7. I!ce
For thought twas the eve OF Christmas 30 dear
Fancy painted the stocking that hug
Long ago, the bed post, o. pattern so queer,
And heard happy voices that surg
Merry Christmas get up, its broad daylight
why, your stocking Is filed with toys.
saw tie old faces 60 pleasant aid bright
BEARD sweet laughter, the music Of Joys
But WOE" and twas gone, al NY visions of Joy
We're 10 more-l he my kindred so dear,
WHO had gone TO Heaven when was bovi
AID ny heart felt quite broken and dIeaIi
But my fancy lad Blended, in co!o1s br gut
The days that had long gone by,
Thai l seized my stocking with boy!sh de git,
An9 begun in its corners 10 pry.
But, alas, II was empty, Ike Ey leAIt G-i;e sai
There dwelt 20 Fl ends SO deal,
There was nothing in lie TO maze rue glad
Not i.iendly token was there.