The Ottawa free trader., 1875-08-28
CREAM OUR EXCHANGES.

An exchange says" the Sandwich Islanders be
1,eve that Beelzebub walks the earth in the form
uf q woman" And now and then you will find
man in this country who believes 50 too and
that he has married the woman.
Three prominent citizens Of Dwight, Illinois
osttheir wives by elopement, the other day, and
the local paper heads an account of the affair
Glory enongh for one day
A. Molasses is member Of a base ball nine in
st Louis lie catches flies admirably
II Beecher's kissing Mrs. Tilton entitled him
10 on increase OF $4,000 in salary how much
would he have been entitled to if the jury had
tounG him guilty Of seduction :-Broot'yg Ir3us
If he had been convicted he wouldn't have a
-aise at all
4 Sangamon county man has racer, Bessie
Turner" which he claims is as fast as her name
sake. What we want to know is whether it goes
atone, or has to be carried
Ten collars reward will be paid for the return
of blue enamel damond.studded ladys hunt
-zg case gold watch.-lnrora NarS.
The young man who builds items for the Mans
had better marry that female. newspaper
nan don't often get an opportunity Of sparkling
.s,uc, enameled, diamond.studded lady.
The editor Of the Mnington Enterprise found Il
snake in his bed the other night. Did he sleep
Sith his boots on:
Speaking of the sentiment "She who rocks
tle.uradle rules the world" the Memphis .isa-
.+a5e says: In this section she is generally
c4j9rcd girl, and we don't believe word Of it,
Governor Palmer thinks it takes fifty yards to
Isa.e lady's dress now" three yards in front
I;L lorty-sevcn yards behind
A Maine girl left her clothing in an open boat
saI hid herself and when her parents were cry.
sg and saying if they only had her back they
r@5uld obey her slightest wish, she appeared and
-s.l she wanted to marry George.
SEASIDE RoMArNT
81 -anc, a poet, to Amelia:
Come, sit down on the shelly shore,
And hear the mighty ocean roar
tac,ia, fashionable young lady, TO Eugene:
Il can't sit down you silly goose,
Because ia bust M pull Uack loose
Frogs yocalze, mosquitoes present their bills
Lies bite shaggy ours roam free as they please
.gotato bugs are on the war path, feline battles
occur every night beneath the bedroom window
OF the editor of the Farmer City Journal and yet
he complains of monotony and dullness.
Fiuback whales are reported in Long Island
sound this summer Plenty Of pinback whales
ees sre also seen al Newport.
There was great hustle as we drew up at
the station" says O newspaper letter-writer, but
le neglects to state whose it was.
An old bachelor upon reading that THAT two
.oIcTs will sit up half the night with one chair
a the room" said, Loving must be incouven.
sE2t, for il could no. DC done uRless one OF them
sat on the floor"
40 refreshments suitable for o band' ia tho
TOyt4' temperance folks over at Minonk ex.
yress the,lsclyes. The boys don't serenade that
Kind Of ra1che more than once week
The failure Of Duncan Sherman & Co, is said
10 have been owing to too much confidence in
,otten The same weakness caused the down
ai! of the Southern Confederacy, and has ruined
the hopes Of many Of our married men
Swimming is to he taught at the Holyokc Fc-
male Seminary. Nataion is said to be proper
Jhere because il is swimmin's work,-Chicago
Tribune
II is easy enough 70 immtato Josh Billings
- 'o-' go
'-'''' ~" "'''' '''S " u" SUI o'i d" ''''''
= very ahec''nS paragraph Is no" gong
atound, detailing The beauty OF sisters love. In
our judgment 1t depends altogether on whose
sister she Is.
An exchange says, Nevada Is the old maids
paradse' We hope that remark Is satirlcal-I
,,,t ,i. c,.,rr,,, ,tir,, ont Uost &, r.fcr =,
17,'T, ,9I,.,,
ne great stdlc oi NcNaul as lis GcllSAt
Kansas clcryyman pauscd in the midst Of A
-. ,,... 4 ir,..,. -. -
Sc ''''.' ~ Va ".'''-''"- " "" "cc"' "-V' an"
remarked with % savage scowl upon his countc-
nance and In Q voice loud enough to be heard
Sstside of the church: " If the boy who flung
that egg through the window will remain until
She services are over, III show him what Il
Christian minister can do for the salvation Of his
soai'
The kgutl1rl-.r