Litchfield enquirer., 1875-09-02
WHOLE NO. 2569.
lady's favOrs ?" asked Denen, nonchaIent-

Carruth colored as he said, 'Tt is not every girl would give lover such Q curl, now. is it? And hair is so expensive Don't you think I may have hOpeY Y
 "Susely," said Denen, surely"
 "When a girl thinks more of your wish es than of her own beauty the affair is tol- erably certain, take 1t ?'
 Surely" repeated Denen. He was in no mood for words the affair was alto gether too certain to be agreeable to him; while in a state of doubt, it had possessed bitter kind of fascination for him, such as beggar may feel gnawed by hunger, shivering with the cold, yet crouching on the icy pavement to see the costly toilets and hear the meFry-making of the revel- CTS. So it had given Denen absolute pain to see Estelle lavishing her regard and confidence upon this immature young man, and yet he could not spare himself the suffering. He watched the two invOl- untarily when he seemed engrossed in other things. He heard their words when he was conversing with Grandpa DeTrin- | ger himself. He endured thelr silences in suspense. At the opera he lent his atten- ton to them alone from inc undefned shadows of a private box. If you had asked him, he could no longer have told of the prima donna's points he no longer grew eloquent over her laurels :; he had . season ticket to perpetual private opera, where the melody never faitered, where the tragedy and comedy of his life cen tered. He hated himself for this espion- age, but none the less did it attract and dishearten him. He tormented himself with a thousand illusions. Why did he love Estelle? Was it the will which he had indited for Mir. DerTinger? Should he have loved her had he found her poor and insignifcant2 It is true that he had gone to ValeviIle with the half-conceived purpose of marrying Mir. DerTingeF's heir esS, but when he had seen her, she be- came an object too sacred to be profaned by his regard. He began to think him. seIf-he, who could ever have entertained such malign purpoSes-Of fibre too com mon and mean to dare bespeak her for his own, or hope for Q return of his passion. Love so completely possessed his soul as to leave no niche for lesser motives or inn pulses. So he had gone on suspectiBg himself more and more, removing himself by his distant manner from her thoughts, he believed seeing another fight for the love he coveted, and yet putting ont no hand to win. In the mean time he could have taken no surer means of c0nquering Estelle. Pique @ woman, and she will be
 
 pleased with this reserve that could, upon occasions, dissolve into heaven of smiles and tenderness. Somewhere or other was it far away in the twilight region of her swoon ?-she seemed to recall beng folded in arms too tender for mere charity, to hear tones too sweet for simple pity. She used to lie awake nights and wonder about Denen-if she should ever Outgyow longing for his regard after years had proved powerless to give her her wish, if she should be happy with Carruth if it would be right to marry him with no heart to give, though grandpa was too poor to leave her much. To beg she was ashamed, and she had no means of earning her live ihood, and it would please Carruth be- yond all things. For who is there, not being able to compass that which she sUOuEd have, but will fain accept that which she may have? She had laughed and coquetted with Carruth with malice prepense, hoping to win some glance of anxious annoyance from Denen, trusting that if he had any hidden hopes. jealousy would quicken them into deeds and words. But it had not worked as she expected. The reserve had grown upon Denen and not being able to see the other side of this tapestry which we call circumstances, she had given it all up, and, for want of some thing better to occupy her thoughts and heart, she had blindly pursued the firta- ton with Carruth till 1t assumed serious aspects, and he had solemnlY assured her that he should put an end to himself if, after having led him such a wild-goose chase, she did not promise to marry him. She was young enough and romantic enough to be deceived by his tragic prom ises, and then, as her conscience was not quite at rest respecting him, they became engaged. If she had done wrongly, if, through inexperience and from a vague belief that mems hearts were adamant, she had deluded Carruth into really loving her, she meant to abide by the consequent ces. After all, it would only be lifetime at most and perhaps the assurance that Denen was indifferent to her made the sacrifice the easler. But from the moment in which her lovers ring slipped over her finger she felt like a galley-slave. She took no further pleasure in any thing. She moved the impersonated echo of his wishes, but there was no joy on her cOun- tenance, no elasticity in her mien. When Carruth was not present, she used to sit hours together in the sunny window of her grandfather's library, used to sit with idle folded hands, and eyes that did not see the green spaces before them, the blossoming bOughs blown by the wind, the shadows that lurked beside the sun beams-with eyes that looked out, instead, across the desolate future, and guessed it's outlines from the present. Mir. Denen was there too sometimes, but he walked like a ghost through her dreams. He saw her, and was perplexed. Indeed, since she was safe from him, he thawed out from his distractions to draw her from her own. He entreated her to play again to him those plaintive airs from the operas. to sing the words he had once adapted for her
 "Come, heart, and sing,
 That life it is sweet
 While tt doth bring
 Love to thy feet.
 sweetheart, why weep.
 Shadows pursuing?
 Close, eyes, and sleep;
 Love is but ruing"
 Glove is but ruing," he repeated. "I enter e, ny protest. Do you think so. Miss
 "I-do-not know" she answered. slowly. 'T have been thinking, lately"
 'Not new process. I believe.
 Quite new. Women learn to think too late. It is only selfish love that is ruing. If love you for any advantage to myself, merely" -. ...-
 ''If you love me, Miss EsteIIe P he cried, forgetfully, his face like . newly discovered star, so strangely it shone out from this luminous possibility.
 She smiled faintly, as sick person smiles at some kind but fruitIess sueees- ton. ''I mean you and as-as TepFesen- tative lovers" she said.
 Certainly; l understand fully" he de- clared, relapsing into the nebuIous state. ''You were going to say" naturally ended in ruing, that so much of love as is heavenly, and no more, will sur vive through all eternity"
 "And what then? In heaven we are neither married nor given Tn marriage. and II dc s.e,& dc.;.c. kc. Ic.-.a. H-.I--