The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-11-25
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A Shadow in Married Life.

marriage, with all its holy. and sacre,
meanings, does not always yield TIL
permanent happiness which ought Il
flow from fountain so pure in its es
sential nature, and SO rich in its capa
bilities, OF course, where this union i
not based upon the deep and sincere at
tachment and general congeniality 0
the parties, it is not surprising that i
should gradually become heavy anC
oppressive load, that only legal restrain
or public sentiment can preserves; bu
there are other cases where marrieC
life. seems to open most auspiciously
and the brilliancy of its prospect is un
clouded bya single fear, which yet fai
sadly to fulfill their bright promises il
after life. Tfc. .fffFnsI
1t would be futile to attempt to trace
| the many causes which combine tC
shadow these radiant hopes; meddline
friends are all too ready to pronounce
upon them, and to cast blame on hus
band or wife, without fathoming the in.
tricate nature of the subject they thus
rudely handle. There is, however, ont
source of matrimonial disappointment
which is seldom thought of, and which
is yet, perhaps, responsible for more o.
it than we imagine. 1t is the dividing
line by which custom separates husband
and wife so exclusively, as to the en-
ployments of life. All human ties, to be
enduring, must be based on some com
mon ground of sympathy. Similar pur-
suits, aims, desires and hopes draw mer
and women together in the various
bonds of social relations, and are the
foundations and conservers of the best
friendships. In proportion to the de.
gree of sympathy thus engendered,
will naturally be the strength
of the attachment; withdraw
them all, and affection, deprived of its
nourishing influences, must decay and
die. The love which is the root OF
every happy marriage is no exception
to this rule 1t must have food for its
sustenance and development. There
must be full and steadfast sympathy in
all which is near and dear to the heart
of each, if it is to endure and grow.
1t may seem at the first view that suf-
ficient sources of this sympathy exist in
every true marriage, and that the con-
geniality of character and sentiment
that sufficed to draw the young couple
together will suffice to keep them so.
But that this is not the case the sequel
too often proves. The exclusive division
of labor which marriage so frequently
induces will, without the most tender
and delicate assiduity, have a tendency
to draw those apart who might under
other circumstances become more and
more closely allied. Husband and wife
have generally in our modern civiliza-
ton too little in common for the perfect
development of their union. The man
is immersed in his business, the woman
in her household cares. 1t is fortunate
if the same exclusiveHess is not carried
into their leisure hours-if he be not
devoted to his political party or his
club, and she to the claims of fashion
able life. Their minds consequently
run in different channels, and their con-
versation is apt to turn upon subjects
which are not of paramount interest to
either. 1t is an almost inevitable con-
sequence that if this is left to take its
course there will be gradual, perhaps
imperceptible, but certain, weaving
away from each other.
1t is true that measure of these cir
cumstances is necessary and right; it
is only the unnecessary eXaggeratiOn of
them that we condemn. Naturally, the
wife is the queen of the home, while the
husbands duties lie chiefly outside. But
they should each maintain sedulously
the deepest interest in the others work,
confding to each other the details, con-
sulting each other on the plans, and, as
far as may be practicable, assisting each
other in the work itself. In this way,
the separating effect of different occu-
pations will be obviated, sympathy in
creased, interests blended, and husband
and wife drawn ever closer to one an
other, through a knowledge and appre-
citation of each others difficulties and
labors Besides this, such a course will
greatly improve the results which each
can accomplish. The ready insight and
quick perceptions which sympathic
wife would bring to bear upon her hus-
bands plans, might save him from many
q rash speculation and unfortunate en-
terprise, while his judgment and counsel
might be of equal value to her in the
guidance of her household. tt#
One subject especially has pre-emi-
nent claim upon their mutual regard
the training and Development of their
children. Children need, for their well
fare, both a fathers and mothers
care-each supplies to them what
the other lacks. Yet how Of
ten do we see this whole burden
resting solely upon the mother! How
many fathers are there who think their
entire duty to their children accom-
plished when they provide the necessary
means for their maintenance They
scarcely take time to become acquainted
with their own children, much less
study their temperaments, ascertain
their needs and gain their confidence.
Surely if there is any thing which ought
to bring father and mother into bonds of
the closest intimacy with each other,
which should command their united in
terests and sympathy, and employ the
combined powers of both in their fullest
exercise, it is the care and education of
the offspring that are entrusted to their
mutual guardianship.
AT this time, when those who would
assail the sacred institution of marriage
are eagerly pointing to the unhappi-
ness and alienation which too frequent
ly attend it as proofs of its decay, it be-
hooves those who would protect and
uphold it to purify its sources and en-
noble its character. Only as love, true,
pure and earnest, is its foundation, only
as mutual sympathy, confidence and re-
spect are its guiding principles, only as
noble aims, purposes and aspirations
vitalize and animate it, can it firmly re-
sist attacks and preserve its position as
the cornerstone of the social edifce.--
Philadelphia Ledger.
How Woman Made a Fortune.