Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-06-26
SIMON SHORTS SORROW.

Shrewd Simon Short sswed shoes
Seventeen summers speeding storms
spreading sunshine saw Simon's small
shabby shop still standing staunch; saw
Simon's self-same squeaking sign still
swinging swiftly, specifying: "Simon
Short, Smithield's sole surviving shoe
maker. Shoes soled, sewed superfnely. u
Simon's sedulous spouse, Sally Short,
sewed shirts, stitched sheets, stuffed
sofas. Simon's six stout. sturdy sons,
Seth, Samuel, Stephen, Silas, Shadraeh,
sold sundries. Sober Seth sold saddles
stiirups; sagacious Stephen sold silks,
satins, shawls; skeptical Saul sold silver
salvers; selfish Shadrach sold salves,
shoestrings, soaps, saws, skates; slack
Silas sold Sally Shorts stuffed sofas.
Some seven summers since Simon's
second son, Samuel, saw Sophia So
phonia Spriggs somewhere--sweet, sem
sible, smart Sophonia Spriggs. Sam
soon showed strange symptoms.
Sam seldom stood selling saddles.
Sam sighed sorrowfully, sought Sophia
Sophonia Sprigg's society, sung several
serenades slighly. Simon stormed,
scowled severely, said Sam seemed so
silly singing such senseless songs, strut
ting spendthrift, scatter-br Drained simple
ton. "Softly sire," said sweet Sally,
SANS smitten- Sans spied some
sweetheart" Sentimental, silly school
boy" snarled Simon. Smitten! Stop
such stuff" Simon sent Sally's snuff
box spinning, seized Sally's scissors,
smashed Sally's spectacles, scattered
several spools. Sneaking scoundrelp'
Simon stopped speaking, started shop
ward swiftly.
Sally sighed sadly; summoning Sam.
she spoke sympathizingly. "Sam,'
said she, " Sire seems singularly snap
pish, so, sonny, stop strolling streets,
stop smoking, stop spending specie
superfuously, stop singing serenades
slyly, stop short, sell saddles sensibly;
see Sophia Sophona Spriggs speedily,
Sam" So soon?' said Sam, stand
ing still. $50 soon, surely" said Sally,
smilingly, I" specially since sire shows
such spirits" So Sam, somewhat scared,
sauntered slowly, shaking stupendous-
ly; Sam soliloquises, "Sophia =" Sophonia
Short, Sam Short, Sam Shorts spouse,
sounds splendidly! Suppose she should
say she shan'ty' Sam soon spied
Sophia starohing shirts, singing softly;
seeing Sam she stopped, saluting Sam
smilingly. Sam stammered shockingly
=" Spl-spl-splendid summer season,
Sophia" :" ...- .s.
"Somewhat sultry," suggested So
phia. "Sar-sar-sartain," said Sam
(Silence, seventeen seconds)-" Selling
saddles still, Sam?" "Sar-sartain, !"
said Sam, starting suddenly. "Sire
shot sixty snipe, Saturday" said Sophia.
"Shoo!' said Sam-(silence seventy
seven seconds.) "See sister Sues sun
flowers" socially silencing such stiff
silence. Such sprightly sauciness stim-
ulated Sam strangely; so, suddenly
speaking sentimentally, Samuel said:
g Soshia, ,Ssusan's sunfowers seem say
ing Samuel Short, Sophia Spriggs,
stroll serenely, seek some sequestered
spot, some silvan shade - sparkling
streams shall sing some soul-stirring
strains, sweet songsters silent secret
sighings, sylphs shall Sophia snick-
cred, so Sam stopped. Sophia said
solemnly, Sam Shorts sincere. Sans
seeking some sweet spouse" She stood
silently. "Speak! Sophia, speak, Such
silence speculates sorrow" ''Seek sue,
SAM" said Sophia. So Sam sought
Sue Sprisgs. Sue Spriggs said, /" Sar-
tin. "--Educationd Reporter.