Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-03-17
Brasser's Son Claudius.

MIR. BraSser, who lives on Nlntn
avenue, has q son about twelve years
old, named Claudius, and the other
evening this boy received permission to
allow a neighbor's boy to stay all night
with him. The old people sleep down
stairs in the sitting room, and the boys
were put into a room directly above.
When they went up to bed Claudius
had the clothes-line under his coat, and
the neighbor's boy had a mask in his
pocket. They didn't kDeel down and
say their prayers like good boys and
then Jump into bed and tell bear stories
but as soon as the door was locked the
Brasser boy remarked:
"You'n see more fun around here to-
night than would lie on ten acre lot T.
From a closet they brought out q
cast-off suit of Brasser's clothes, stuffed
them with whatever came handy, tied
the mask and an old straw hat on for q
head, and while one boy was carefully
raising the window, the other was tying
the clothes-line around the imam. !"
The image was lowered down in front
of the sltting-room window, lifted up
and down once or twice, and old Brasser
was heard to leap out of bed with a
great jar. He was just beginning to
doze when he heard sounds under his
window, and his wife suggested it was
a COW in the yard. He got up, pulled
the curtain away, and as he beheld a
man standing there he shouted out,
"Great bottles but it's a robber !"
and he Jumped into bed.
"Theodorius Brasser, are You fOOl?"
screamed the wife, as he monopolized
all the bed-clothes, to cover up his head.
"Be quiet, You old jade. you I" he
whispered perhaps he'll go away !"
"Don't you call me a jade! J" she re-
piled, reaching over and trying to find
his hair. 'Git up and git the gun and
blow his head off"
"Oh you do it !"
"Git upyou old coward, she snapped.
"Ill never live with you another day if
you don't do it !"
Brasser turned up the lamp, sat up
in bed. and cried out
sis that you, boys ?"
"Mercy on me git up!" yelled the
wife, as the straw man was knocked
against the window.
"I'll blow his head off as clean as
milk !" said Brasser, in loud voice, as
he got up. He struck the stove three
or four times, upset chair, and reached
behind the foot of the bed and drew
out an old army musket.
"Now, then, for blood !" he con-
tinued, as he advanced to the window
and lifted the curtain.
The man was there face close to the
glass, and he had such q malignant e1-
preston of countenance that Brasser
jumped back with cry of alarm.
"Kill him Shoot him down, you old
noodle-head !" screamed the wife.
81 will-by thunderl 1 will !" replied
Brasser, and he blazed away, and tore
out nearly all the lower sash.
The boys upstairs uttered yell and
a groan, and Brasser jumped for the
window to see if the man was down.
He wasn't. He stood right there, and
he made leap at Brasser.
"He's coming in !-perlice boys =
no perlice !" roared the old man.
The tattered curtain permitted Mrs.
Brasser to catch sight of a man jumping
up and down, and she yelled
"Theodorius, I'm going to faint y
Faint and be darnedI Boys !
perlice !" he replied, wolloping the
sheet-iron stove with the poker.
Don't you dare talk that way to
me |" shrieked the old woman recover
ing from the desire to faint.
"Po-leece Po-leece now came
from the boys upstairs, and while one
continued to shout the other drew the
man up, tore him limb from limb and
secreted the pieces.
Several neighbors we're aroused, an
officer came up from the station, and q
search of the premises was made. Not
SO much as q track in the snow was
found, and the officer put on an injured
look, and said to Mr.. Brasser
ga guilty conscience needs no ac-
cuser."
"That's so ?" chorused the indignant
neighbors, aa they departed.
As Mr.. Brasser hung quilt before
the shattered window he remarked to
his wife:
"Now see what an old cundurango
you made of yourself! |"
"Don't fling any insults at me, or I'll
choke the attenuated life out OF You |!
she replied.
And the boys kicked around on the
bed, chucked each other in the ribs,
and cried: