Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-08-20
MULTUM in PARVO.

HREE mOnJnS is WnaI an edSy-SOlnS
Englishman got for borrowing an UNI
brella on rainy day.
THE Buffalo Express speaks of buck
ing the tiger as one of the attending sins
of that city's race week"
THIS is the time of year when the trees
and telegraph-wires along the wayside are
being newly ornamented with wrecked
kites.
THE longer one lives the more sure he
is to find out that there is being good
deal said and done in the world that isn't
true. ~ s
TENNESSEE expects to realize $500, 1000
this year by a tax upon dogs, and in this
way will increase her revenues. nearly
"a per cent. aa "A
THE Boston Herald is of the opinion
| that the cats owe the Baroness Burdett-
Coutts for her plea in their. favor "a
mewnificent reward - ~
A CALIFORNIA paper says: "The milk
men of San Francisco have formed a
mutual aid association. One holds the
can and the other. pumps"
A MIssoURIAN, after looking over the
White House grounds, remarked that "ey-
erything looked purity nice, but he didn't
A FELLOW is going around New York
State claiming to be Diogenes, the philos-
| opher, but landlords of hotels insist on
his paying his bills in advance:
| "THERE is an easier feeling in Shoes
said the market reporter, as he wrenched
| off "a pair of narrow eight boots and stuck
| his feet into his old ten brOgans.
WHY is man who is confined to his
house by illness like an absent boy who
longs to go home? Because the latter is
homesick and the former is home, sick,
too. ~
"JoHN, I wish you'd close that door,"
said an irritable father to his son. 6 Your
mother must be scolding somebody at the
other end of the hall, there's such draft
from that quarter"
IT is an old saying that sit is never too
late to mend,' and the man who makes his
wife sit up in hot night to fix his old
clothes, while he SHORES under the mOsQui-
to-bar, is the sort of person to say it.
"WITH what material was this old
chair originally upholstered?" inquired a
visitor to the Boston centennial collection.
"Don't know, num-" replied the attend
ant; cit looks, though, as If it might a.
been SATIN"
WHEN Arthur was very small boy his
mother reprimanded him one day for
some misdemeanor. Not knowing it, his
father began to talk to him on the same
subject. Looking up in his face, Arthur
said solemnly: " Mother has tended to
me-" A a
GERTRUDE JACKSON, of Mississippi,
comes as near being the fool-killer as any
body. She smiled equally on four adj
mirers, and each rose thirsting for the
others gore Their thirst was satisfied all
round, and now Miss Jackson smiles upon
fifth.
A MAN went to see his lady-lov and,
wishing to be conversational, observed
ssThe thermomokrum is twenty degrees
above zelon this evening" " Yes," inno-
Gently replied the maiden, d" such kinds of
birds do fly higher some seasons of the
year than Others" la
A sCHooIl-M1 STRESS once asked pupil to tell
What word the letters s double spell.
The child was but dull, and so mistress cries,
What is it, you Ounce, do with my eyes?"
ooh, yes" says the child, quickly taking the
hint; .fsr t v,4r.r,
az know the word now, ma'anl--s double E.
: squint'' BIO a9t saa
THERE is no lesson Of more importance
than to teach the art OF making nome
pleasant. Thisis one of the ways to keep
the boys and girls on the farm and to
make them satisfied with their situation.
For the want of something nice many a
boy has left the country home, made apoor
lawyer or clerk, who would have made
good, successful farmer. ISL
ONE of the most interesting and artistic
industries known to civilization is the
manufacture of laces. Little has been
known of it in this country, but school
of lace design has just sprung up in New
York, and if it succeeds, as there IS
ground to hope that it will, we shall not
have to continue a nation of smugglers so
far as the fashionable world is concerned.
a MIDDLE-AGED woman fell as she was
descending pair of stairs on Jefferson
avenue yesterday, and the first man to
help her reach her feet was a banker who
happened to be passing Did you fall,
madam % he inquired, as he seized her
arm. q Fall OF course / fell, you fool,
you!. You don't suppose I'd sit down
| here to rest, do you?" she snapped. lie
didn't say.-DetroSt Free Press. at
THESE are the days when the hard listed
| farmers gather under the nearest shed
while the unreasonable rain comes down
! in sheets outside-talking "crops,'" and
| discussing the situation as to :" lodged
grain" a,well headed wheat, how the
oats have q filled,', the corn is tasseling'
or 'setting on the cob, the outlook for an
ssearly frost, and " fall blowing" and the
strising'' and = falling of the 9 markets"
-Eec1ta,age. s
SAY what you will, says the Louisville
| Courier Journal, the life editorial is not
i all thorns. Here and there a rose springs
/ mn. diffusing its odor through the sane
tl1m. and, though many a dark and angry
cloud floats athwart the sky, yet it Is moi
ALWAYS without its silver lining. How
forcibly this is illustrated by the expert
I. ence of an editor at Somerville, Tenn,
who has recently been presented with
! lizard with two tailsl
A GENTLEMAN who had the misfortune
to lose+his nose was followed by beggar
who kept exclaiming: Heaven preserve
your honor's. eyesig htp' The gentleman
was at last irritated by his importantly
and said: % Why do you wish my eye
sight to be preserved? Nothing ails my
/ eyeslght, nor is likely to-" No, YOU
honor said the beggar, but it will be
sad thing if it does, for you will have
nothing to rest your spectacles upon"
1 ONE year ago, says the Yicksburre
Herald, they clasped hands over gate IL
i the dusk of evening, and she said sh'
would be his little angel until life was M
more. Yesterday noon he went home ant
found his Sunday suit in strips on thu
: floor, his silk hat kicked in, and his fin
boots cut down, and she yelled out from
], the bedroom: Is that you, you. oil
alligator? Well, ] don't think you'll tro
{ off again without splitting any wood!'
s Z TIE -sstimers,, used by horsemen arr