South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1875-07-30
New Series-vol. X-No. q.
About Zoe Cream.

He slipped into an ice-cream saloon
very softly, and when the girl asked
him what he wanted he replied:
Corn beef. fried potatoes. pickles
and mince pie.''
This Is not q restaurant this in an
ice-cream parlor." she said
Then why did You ask me what
wanted for2 Why didn't you bring on
your ice-cream?@
She went after IL. and as she returned
he continued:
"fou see, ny dear girl, you must in.
fer-you must reason. 1t isn't likely
that would come into an ice-cream par.
Tor to buy q grind-stone, is il? You
didn't think came in here to ask IL YOU
had any baled hay. did your"
She looked at him in great surprise.
and he went on:
III 1 owned hardware store and you.
came in, I would infer that you came
for something in my line. wouldn't
step out and ask you if you wanted to
buy mule. would IL"
She went away highly indignant
An old lady was devouring dish of
cream at the next table. and the stran.
ger. after watching her moment. called
out:
"My dear woman. have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dish2"
Mercy mol" she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
"Well, I'm glad Of it ~ he continued,
"if you find any just let me know"
She looked at him, for half minute,
picked up the spoon. laid it down again,
and then rose up and left the .room.-
She must have said something to the
proprietor. for he came running in and.
exclaimed:
did you tell that woman that there.
were hairs and buttons in my ice cream 70.
mo, sir"
you didnt?o
mo. sir. did not I merely request.
ed her, in case she found any such in.
gradients, to. inform me?"
'Well, sir, that was mean trick"
my dear sir" said the stranger, smi-
ling softly, did you expect me to ask
the woman if she had found a crow.bar
or siedge-hammer in her cream? 1t is
impossible, sir. for such articles to be
hidden away in such small dishes?"
The proprietor went away growing,
and as the stranger quietly supped away
Mt his cream, two young ladies came in,
sat down near him, and ordered cream
and cakes. He waited until they had
eaten little, and then remarked
BEG pardon, ladies, but do you. OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste Of
this cream?"
They tasted. smacked their lips and
were not certain.
Does it taste to you as il plug Of
tabacco had fallen into the freezer?". he
asked.
"Ah kah' they exclaimed. dropping
their spoons and trying to spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and
it wasn't long before the proprietor rush.
ed in.
'See here, what in blazes are you talk
ing about?' he demanded. What do
you mean by plug tobacco in the freezer"
"My kind friend, 1 asked the ladies if
this cream tased of plug tobacco. /
don't taste any such taste, and don't
believe you used bit of tobacco in it ~
Well, you don't want 10 talk that way
around here,' continued the proprietor.
wy iOo Vleahl 10 pure, anu tue man VINO
says it isn't tells bold lie"
lie went away again, and a woman
with long neck and sad face sat down
and said to the girl that she would take a
small dish Of lemon ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken A.
bout two mouthfuls, when the stranger
inquired:
Excuse me, madam but do you know
how this cream was made-have you an
idea that they grated turnip and chalk
with the cream?"
She didn't reply. She slowly rose
up, wheeled around, and made for the
door. The stranger followed after, and
by great good luck his coat-tails cleared
the door an instant too soon to be struck
by fiye-pound box of Ags, hurled with
great force by the indignant proprietor.
As ne reached the curb-stone he halted.
looked at the door of the parlor and So
liloquized
There are times when people should
infer, and there are times when they
shouldn't. j suppose if / had asked
that woman il she thought they hashed
a sawmill in the cream she'd have felt
ciroularssaw going down her throat"
FIRE.-Sunday evening last the resi-.