The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-04-08
GOSSIP.
The teter board Of life goes up,
The teter board Of life goes down,
The biggest dog has been a pup,
The knaVe has often worn O crown.

line DlHKeBU uOg mas Deeu u pup,
The knave has often worn q crown.
Mrs. Rousby confines herself to twen-
ty-seven trunks.
How to kindle the fires Of ambition
with spelling match.
The gnu est thing in Washington is a
horse with u horn OH its nose.
The fellow who asked for lock OF his
girPs hair was informed tnat 'it costs
money. hair does"
Mission is very fond Of pets. She got
into one the other day and laid the old
man out with poker.
Possibly you've never heard of MIR.
Ristori; but he lives and moves and has
his being as much as she does.
A New Orleans prima donna tainted
in the midst of an air the other day. 1t
couldn't have been fresh one.
"Gath" proposes that the jury give
Mrs. Tilton to Beecher and Miss An
thony to Theodore, and drop the sub
ject.
Cheap transportation = The sufferers
by the Delaware floods straddle the roofs
OF their houses and are carried down
stream for nothing.
An Illinois judge has decided that a
young man wno pays his board has y
right to fiddle in his room all day and all
night if he pleases.
"Time sOHens all things" except the
young man who parts his halr in the
middle and whistles on the street cars.
Nothing can make him any softer than
he is.
A woman in Dawson, Ga, accident
ally bit her tongue oil the other day,
and since that ner husband gets home
every evening two hours earlier than
usual.
It is said that nothing will cure a
poets affection for his idol sooner than
to catch her at the dinner table eXcavat-
ing the kernel of hickory nut with a
hairpin.
In Shreveport, the other day, a colored
man shot soldier Gin the suburbs"
That means, We suppose, he hit him
| somewhere outside the limits of his cor
poration.
This Is the season Of the year when
| the average young man OF the period
squares his cash, and wonders which
tailor he will victimize tor stylish suit
OF spring clothes.
The man who picked up kernel OF
giant powder and made his autograph
| upon the hot stove, thinking it was char
| coal, now employs an amanuensls to sign
his bank checks.
A sharp-talking lady was reproved by
her husband, wno requested her to keep
her tongue in her mouth. 'My DEAR"
| she said," 'ipS against the law to carry
concealed weapons"
The grangeresses of Waterville are
| discussing the question, "How shall we
keep our husbands at home evenings ?"
We don't exactly know unless they hire
handsome servant girls.
Mr.. Tilton has three or four hundred
unanswered applications for locks OF his
hair. The lair solicitors are requested
to exercise patience until he can get
| time to start "a jute factory.
The man who tried to enforce conjugal
obedience with cowhide subsequently
remarked, as he put fresh piece o
court plaster on his nose, that he had q
| vile who couldn't be beat anywhere.
There is one extremely conscientious
girl in Buffalo. who will not permit her
lover to kiss her during Lent. Her
minister advised her TO observe the holy
season by giving up her greatest plea
sure.
Customer want mourning suit.
Shopman - What is the bereavement,
may l askt Customer-My mother-in-
law. Shopman-Mr. Brown, show the
gentleman to the light af1 .ction depart
ment.
IL is feared that Spinner's resignation
where the impression prevails that his
signature symbolizes the American ca
gle struggling with the serpent Of re-
belliOn.
A very religious old lady being asked
her opinion of the organ Of a church, the
first time she had ever heard one. re-
piled: SIT is very pretty box of whls-
ties, but oh! It's an awful way to spend
the SabbathW
In Bridgeport they tell of a physiog-
nJlilist who, after attending the Latin
trial, declared that the prisoners face
proved him man born to be a murderer;
but it turned out that he had been mis-
takenly studying the features OF a law
yer.
Arizona hens are accustomed to laying g
eggs worth "a a dozen; and the gentle
Susan b., inclining her head a little to
one side, and argumentatively flourish
ing her right arm, eXclaimes: "See what
even hens can do when they have their
rightsV
A fastidious gentleman, when break
fasting with friend and partaking Tor
the first time of tripe, which was slight
ly picked, as is the Eastern fashion of
preparing it, asked, "What kind OF meat
is thisP "Sour stomach'' was the ap-
petizing reply.
When one looks around and sees hum
dreds of dough-heads getting rich doing
nothing, while he is working like slave
Tor his daily bread, it makes fellow feel
as though the butter Of this world was
spread by a stepmother.
We shall not always have the reports
of the Beecher trial with US. Next sum-
mer hot Presidential campaign will be
opened, and the press of political matter
on the newspapers is certain to crowd
out the Brooklyn intelligence.
A Corning (Iowa) paper gives cur
rency to the statement that belle of that
town was heard to exclaim at a concert
there lately: Chow delightful the col
ored folks sings; their tlntimbulations
float to my dulcet ear like angels voices
clothed in rhapsody"
Louisville car-drivers are an emaciated
set, all from excessive blasphemy. 1t is
rarely that a Louisville girl drops her
foot upon the tall-board of bob-tail car
without lifting the front wheels off the
track, and this wears on the driver.
A Providence woman who had secured
a good place to see the St. Patrick pro-
cession, reported to policeman that she
mad lost her child, and besought him to
find it, as she did not dare to go in search
OF it lest she should close her place."
Mr.. Spinks is not going to do any more
in conundrums. He asked his wife why
he was like donkey, and she said be-
cause he was born so, and he says that