The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1875-11-24


been making an earnest argument
against this mode Of punishment for
brutal assaults. His reasons are
briefly, that it is form Of torture,
that it is not a penalty calculated to
prevent a repetition Of the offense,
that it is degrading, that, if applied to
wife beaters, the wife will reap moth
ing but additional hardship-all of
which might be said in greater or
less degree Of all punishments. Sir
Henry suggests that, if there must be
hogging. the man TO whom such pun
ishment belongs is the poisoner or the
fooger, the man con whom the pros
pect Of excruciating pain Is likely to
have effect" In this country all this
augmentation has an ancient odor.
Only in little Delaware does the whip
ping post maintain its ground. 1t
must be between the lines of the Con ]
stitution somewhere that the criminal
is guaranteed the unmolested pursuit of
happiness in his profession. He has
more rights usually than the law.abid.
ing citizen, and the preservation of
his self-respect is an object of the most
anxious solicitude. We don't often
imprison him, and we seldom or never
hang him. AS for hogging him-he
Is much more likely to be elected to
the legislature York Tribune
Mrs. Morrissey is a fine looking la
dy, who, like her husband, is perfect
ly Independent of Mrs. Grundy, and
knows well how to take care of her.
self. Formerly she lived in Troy,
where she was highly respected by all
classes of citizens. One afternoon it
CHANGED that the eyes of young sprig
of fustian happened to fall upon tall,
handsome, elegantly attired lady, who
was walking up the street in front of
him. He passed and repassed her,
trying to attract her attention, but in
vain. Finally he addressed her, when
suddenly an arm of steel emerged
from a seal muff and a blow that
seemingly might have felled an OK,
laid the young fellow sprawling against
a stoop. Quickly he recovered him
self, gathered up his beaver and cane,
and retreated rapidly down the street.
The lady stood for moment laughing
at his discontinue and turned upon
her heel, the admiration Of all behold
ers. Her would-be adorer inquired of
some one who stood at safe distance
who the lady was. A smile came with
the answer, "Mrs. John Morrissey."
A son of Galen, who was very an
CRY when any joke was passed on
physicians, once defended himself from
the raillery by saying:
81 defy any person whom ever at
tended to accuse me of ignorance or
neglect"
That you may do safely" replied
the wag-"for you know, doctor, dead
men tell no tales!"
That was an irreverent and ribald
youth, who, to his aged parent desiring
to retire from the ratail trade and
take a Government position, said /:
"Iou in the post Office Nice old par
ty you'd be in the post office What
would you do in post office except
stand in the doorway with your mouth
open for folks to wet postage stamps
on your tongue?"
1t is the ruthlessly contemplative
mind of Perkins which evolves this
exquisite consummation "In all this
world of woes, can it be possible to
imagine another retribation SO stern,
so awful, and withal so Just, as that
exhibited in the marriage of life-in-
surance agent to book ,canvasser p
at is all right enough to talk about
geological upheaves, glacial epochs,
and all them sort Of things" said Jo
Munsen, of Idaho, "but when You can
do this, stranger, you've got science
down to fine point" And he threw
his bowie knife six rods and cut off
Chinaman's ear.
Anna Connect, a pretty girl over in
New jersey, was acquitted of the
charge Of burglary, whereupon she
threw her arms around the Judges
neck and kissed him. And now all
the married lawyers around Plainfeld
are candidates for Judge.
Some genius has invented a new ho.
tel annunciator which will register on
The dial what guests want who ring
the bell. 1t is claimed to obviate all
superiluous going up and down stairs.
Lying is trying to hide in the fog
II you muve about you are in danger
OF humping your head against the
truth; as soon as the fog blows up.
you are gone anyhow.
An old lady, hearing somebody say
the mails were irregular, said: at
was so in NV vouno doys ~ .,.,,u,;.-..