National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1875-04-29
ALMOST A sxRfoUs AFFAIR.
General Misunderstanding = A Little Nan
Gets the Worst Of It.

Gets the Worst Of Il.
ISere was little man in q big oyereost at the
thestricals last night After q while large lady,
WRh hard features and yellow cotton gloves,
came and Shutdown In the next chair, and sat on
che end Of tho little mans coat Pretty soon the
little man saw his wife on the other side Of the
room, who was making signs for him TO come ever.
The Iittlenan clutched his umbrella and hat and
started up, but was Jerked back suddenly into his
seat. He saw what was the matter, aad after
several edorts to clear his throat said, IN very
feeble Vslce, 'Ma'am, y0a are sit" but the
big lady commenced talking to the woman on the
other side Of her, and the little man finished his
sentence with q cough and o reddening In the
face. Presently his wife began to melton very
vigorously again, and the little man said, "HemI
suddenly interested in the fate Of the lover on the
stage, who had Just measured out handful Of
stage arsenic, and was debating whether to take
The little mans wife was evidently becoming
Indignant, and the people around her could hear
her mutter, HE won't come, ehH He'd rather
stay with that big woman, eh? I'll nX him."
The little man perspired freely, and pulled q
series Of little tugs on his coat, but couldn't at
tract the big woman's attention. He became des-
perate, and slid his hand down the back Of her
chair and ished for the end Of his coat-tail He
attracted her attention then. She blushed, and
with q slouch hat grabbed him by the collar, and
jeTked him ont into the aisle, shouting, maybe
you didn't know that's my vile! You want to
steal her affections away from me, do your" and
he slung the little man up against the radiator
and looked around at his friends, who were urging
him to go in and wAIlep the unprinciplsd rascal.
The little mans wifecane over then, and point
ing her finger at the little man, who was Easping
in a corner, exclaimed, you're q pretty man to
have a wife and four children. amt you!" Then
she went of into a series of fniffles, and COM
forted by an elderly woman in gray dress, who
told her that 1t was always darkest before the
dawn, and that still waters run deep, and who
delivered several other equally sentient and ap-
prOpriate remarks while the little mans wife fell
into a train of regular mathematical sobs. The
large Woman's husband told the little mans wife
that he'd better clear out, and that he'd keep an
eye on him after that. The little mans wife de-
clared that she Woul6n't go home with that
hideous monster, as she termed her husband, aud
the lady in a gray dress volunteered to 20 home
with the poor dear. The large lady tucked one
cotton glove through her husbands arm and the
couple bounced of looking highly virtuous and
fndiI nant. The little man SUNK home and he and
his wife sat up half the night. He went through
the Pantomime performances, showing how his
coat became entangled, and she, alter declaring
her firm determination to go to q convent, and
then to 20 home and live with her children on her
poor father, gradually relented and accepted the
little mans explanation, and he became quite
happy as he looked at the little ones tucked away
in bed, and he promised to buy the Oldest one
pair OF cOpper-tOed boots as soon as he struck
hmm