Richland beacon., 1875-02-13
The Best Sewing Machine.

/ There was Hubbard. lie dove up to the
! door, unloaded a sewing machine. and said
if we wanted a machine which would do all
kinds Of work, run easily, hem, mck, ruilie.
gather, braid and be thing Of joy forever
and forty days more, we shouldn't fail to buy
the "Lightnng Singer. | bought il. and
when. after week he wanted a certificate,
| cheerfnlly wrote ore:
This is to certify that have had Light
ening Singer IN m my hosne for some time
past and wouldn't be without it for twice
ITS cost. ], hadn't been in my house half IA
day before my son recovered from the
"hooping cough, and my wife found ten
dollar bill on the sidewalk. | think i, the
best machine ever made can't bear to go to
bed and leave it,"
He said he was ever so many times obIiy.
ed, and he hadn got out of sight before Xii
roy drove up with the "Thunuer Il Blazes"
machine. He began to snuff at the other
machine; said we'd been terribly humbug-
Sed, and that his machine was the only first.
class machine in the market.
My wife began to cry. and he soo,hed her
by Offering to trade his Tachne for the 9th.
er, which he could sell for old iron. and $40
to boot We made the trade. He said the
ihuuder 4 Blazes' would make any kind
OF stitch, sew any kind of fabric, and out
run anything but locomotive. He came
around the next week, with certificate all
written out and signed it:
This is to certify that have gained ten
pounds OF flesh per day since purchasing
your machine, and that my wife hadn't run
It hall an hour when her uncle died and left
ner two hundred thousand dollars. No one
OF the children has had cold since the day
the Thunder x Blazes" came through the
gate. II plays easily, the strings arc not liza.
bic to snap, the stops are easy to manage,
and 1t is the only machine in the world which
can be operated by re,-headcd woman
with cork leg can stay ont until eleven
o clock every night now. and my wife hasn't
a word to say. Formerly, she used up four
roling.plns, costing two shillings each, per
week"
Then McManus came. | told him that we
had the best machine in the market and he
asked to look at it. He hadn't fairly got his
eyes on the Thunder & Blazes" before he
commenced to laugh
"Ho-ho-ho! J! he shouted, as he dropped on
chalr-"u will kill me-did you evcr-oh |
no hon
steinly asked the cause of his hilarity, |
md he replied that Kiroy had swi ndled us |
taken us in-che ited us stone bind The |
thunder Il blazes wasn't worth a dunn,
ne sald-was an old machine inveuted by a
blind man and patented by a fool.
My wife began to weep.
but" said McManus, that were his ma.
'hlne, the Chained Earthquake" Ii was
ne machine, and all other machines were
'as" limitations. We might try it, and if we
Ildnt like it he would cut his throat with a
rick saw. We tried il, and when he came
With his certificate | signed it:
This is TO certify that your sewing machine
as saved me ten per cent in fuel and twenty
er cent. in hay and corn since we purchased
t. licked an alderman, pulled a school.
masters nose and kicked member Of the
'g'slature the second day after we got the
lacline, and We hadn't owned it week
'hen | found where | could get trusted for
,eat and wood, and discovered four.shed
nlocked. II will sew anything, from leg
mutton to a New Hampshire mountain.
here hasn't been cload since the machiue
rst started, and the moon now rises two
our. earlier and lasts all night No one
Iculd he without it,
He took the certificate with q triumpeant
nile, and
But must leave off here, Farnsworth has
st called with the "Five-Jeweled Duplex
Ugh Low machine the only leading ma
line in market, and he is telling how we
ot swindled by McManus.