The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1875-02-16
THERMOMETRICAL DISTURB
ANCE.


living little out of Middle
bury village, whose relations have al
ways been exceedingly friendly. Biggs
would call one evening and smoke and
talk politics with Miees, and another
evening Mipgs would call on Biggs.
Frequent and mutual borrowing Of
corn meal and -four on baking days
and soft soap on washing days had
twined the hearts of Mrs. Biggs and
Mrs, Miggs together like two pole bean
stems; while the little Miggses and
Biggses played together in harmony
which Middlebury village school
meeting would do well to emulate.
But this concord exists no more, and
thermometers are the cause. About
the middle of January Miggs began TO
feel interested In the temperature Of
the atmosphere, and bought thermo-
meter, and began to tell Biggs how
cold it was Biggs caught the infec-
ton and bought thermometer too ;
and Miggs began to be little envious
at hearing Bggs every morning an
nounce n degree considerably colder
than his own thermometer indicated.
So he examined all the thermometers
in town and bought the one which
marked lowest, Then he crowed over
Biggs. Biggs couldn't stand that, of
course; and he looked at all the stocks
of thermometers in town without find
ing one which went low enough; but
in neighboring town he found one
which he thought would suit. The
next morning he met Miggs. Hello !!
Miggs," said he, chow does your Their
mometer stand this time?" Twenty
nine below" replied the confident
Miggs. 1.-THE deuce! so does mine"
said Biggs. Both men were dissatis-
fed and unhappy. Biggs took the next
train for Rutland, called on large
dealer, and told him to trot out his
in long row on the counter, and
Biggs picked out one which marked
two degrees lower than any of the rest,
and left. Fiendish joy filled his heart
as upon turning corner, he looked
back and saw Miggs enter the same
store. He kept out of his sight and
came home. The next morning Miggs
stepped over to Biggs's before break
fast and asked him in a somewhat tri-
tone, "Well, Riggs, how's
your mercury now?' "Oh, not very
cold" said Biggs, carelessly, "how's
yours" "rhiry three below" said
Miggs; ~ call ii pretty cold" as
that all?" asked Biggs innocently,
"why. mine is thirty-fvc." "Thun-
DER! said Miggs, and went home. lie
was mad. He took his first two Their
and danced on them for half
an hour. They didn't look like Their
after this exercise, and he
felt better. He was going to dance on
the last one, also, but thought lie would
try an experiment with it. He made
q mixture of snow and salt and stuck
the thermometer into it, hoping he
might get the mercury down below
Biggs's. But instead it rose rapidly to
near zero, and Miggs danced around
some more and tore his hair. Then he
was going to bore hole in the bulb to
let out some of the mercury, when a
happy but wicked thought struck him.
His instrument was of the same make
as Bigg's, and he knew Biggs kept his
tackled up on the north side of his
house. So about two o'clock that night
he went softly over and took down
Biggs's thermometer, put up his own
in its place, and went home. saying to
that his instrument cost as
much as Biggs's, aud was the same
thing, so it wouldn't make cent of
difference to Biges. In the morning
Biggs went out to look at his thermo-
meter. He yelled with joy. and dane
ed about urtil Mrs. Biggs called to him
to stop acting like fool. He told her
the mercury was down to thirty-nine,
and he would just like to see what
Miggs and bis old thermometer would
say to that. He went over to Miggs's
house and found him contemplating
his thermometer with an AIR of salts
faction. Hello! Miggs, pretty cold,
amt it ?" said Riggs. pretty cold,u
said Miggs. "Thirty-nine is something
said Biggs. Thirty
nine!" said Miggs, "why, it's forty
one," 'Whatn yelled Biggs, "tain't
forty-one, nor anything like it, Be-
sides, mercury freezes at forty below"
"Well, l can't help that" replied
Miggs; 81 guess this thermometer
don't lie, if do" Biggs looked. He
went home, placed his thermometer
on log and pounded it for half an
hour with the head of an AK Then he
told Mrs, Biggs if she ever spoke to
Mrs. Miggs again he would get a d.
vorce; and told his boys if they ever
kissed the Miggs girls again he would
cut Off their ears; and told his girls If
they ever let the Miggs boys kiss them
again he would cut off their noses. He
cherishes eternal enmity toward Miggs
now, and their friends fear they never
can be reconciled-unless, indeed, Their
mometer-makers learn to gauge the
things somewhere near alike.
THE ARKANSAS MATTER, The Ar
kansas gubernatorial fight has assum-
ed no new aspect. Judge Poland
wants TO be considered as non-partisan
and so he joins with the enemies of his
party against the President. He was