The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-04-15
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

- A New Ork paper has CnlS auYelLlse-
ment: "Two sisters want washing" We fear
that millions of brothers are in the same pre-
dicament.
- Some people have peculiar constitutions.
Mark Twain once complained, after long
interval of idleness "This working between
meals is killing mel'
"What time is it?" asked one passenger of
another in Detroit depot the other day. "Ten
minutes to wait" was the answer, as the man
looked up at the timetable
- Because a man deserves success is not the
best reason why he will achieve it, If men
were to get all they deserve in this world too
many of them would be hung
- An ingenious Virginia distiller converted
cave and hollow tree growing over it to his
purpose of defrauding the revenue, the tree
serving as concealed chimney
- Why is thief your only true phloso-
pher? Because he regards everything from an
abstract point of view, is opposed to all notions
of protection, and is open to conviction,
A sharp talking lady was reproved by her
husband, who requested her to keep her tongue
/ in her mouth "My DEAR" she said, cts
against the law to carry concealed weapons"
- Never owe any man more than you are
able to pay, and allow no man to owe you
more than you are able to lose-is an excellent
piece of advice given by a wise old merchant.
i Rubber horse-shoes are the latest novelty.
Their cost, as compared with those of iron, is
about one-third more, and their weight forty
per cent. It is said that horses suffering from
cracked or contracted hoofs are soon cured by
their use.
An exchange defines blunderbuss as kis
sing the wrong girl; just as though it were
possible to be wrong in kissing any girl. A
blunderbuss is for men to kiss one another, as
Frenchmen do, or for girls to kiss one another,
as they often do for want of man to kiss
them.
The proposition to make Gen. Hancock
the Democratic nominee for the Presidency
calls forth this comment from the Cincinnati
Enquirer "Gen. Hancock is very clever
gentleman, but the demand for the conversion
Of the White House into military barracks is
not as great as it was few years ago."
- Fashionable invalids in Florida are repre-
sented as having charming time, dancing,
yachting, eating fresh vegetables, shooting al
ligators, denying the allegation, smashing their
medicine bottles, throwing away their crutches,
and conducting themselves generally in
jubiant manner.
"A painful rumOr comes from Washington
to the effect that COL Fred. Grant, the valiant
son of the President, intends to resign from the
army. Gen. Sherman, however, will remain in
command of the troops, and Sheridan is left to
watch the banditti.
No woman of cultivation nowadays
wears her garters below her knees. The prin-
cipal vein Of the leg sinks there beneath the
muscles, and varicose veins, cold feet, and even
palpitation of the heart, may be brought on by
tight garter in the wrong place. When the
garter is fastened above the knee, all this pain
and deformity may be avoided.
Il man may conceal his name, his age,
the circumstances of his life, but not his char
acter. That is his moral atmosphere, and is
as nseparable from him as the fragrance of
the rose from the rose itself. In the glance of
the eye, in the tones of the voice, in mien and
gesture, character discloses itself.
-"I would marry you," said lady to an
importunate lover, were 1t not tor three reas-
ons." "Oh, tell me-" he said, imploringly,
! 'sThe first is" she said, ~ don't love you; the
second is, don't want to love you; and the
third is, couldn't love you if [ wanted to p
1t is said to be satisfactorily demonstrated
that every time wife scolds her husband she
adds wrinkle to her face. The announce
ment of this will have most salutary effect,
especially as it is understood that every time
wife smiles on her husband it will remove one
of the old wrinkles.
- The latest agony in the photograph por-
traits is the "panel card" 1t is about as wide
as an ordinary imperial card, but one-half lon
ger, and is exceedingly artistic and pleasing,
especially for full lengths. Ladies like them
because they afford an opportunity for the
effective display of dress, and because they
give the impression of height and distinguished
carriage.
- Recently Boston family was awakened
by unusual noises in the house, and on turn
ing out saw the eldest hopeful rushing about
exclaiming, 'There's man in the house p A
long search failed to show any foundation for
the young mans warlke demonstration, when
he mildly informed the breathess and exhaus-
ted family that it was his twenty-hrst birthday
- The total length of the railways in the
United States is nearly seventy-hve thousand
miles, or over three times the diameter of the
earth 1t would occupy a passenger FIVE
months time travelling night and day continu-
ously, at an average speed of 20 miles an hour,
to 60 once over all of our railways. At the
average speed of the fastest ocean steamers, it
would require over eight months time.
- Some months since a large poster, bear
ing the startling caption, "a man found dead"
was seen posted in q conspicuous place in San
Patricio County, Texas, the heading having
Deen auoPIeu Wy n1i. Aelps, Ine onnoA VI
small country store in the Bowes neighborhood
in that county, in order to attract special at
tenton to an advertisement of his merchandise
A few days since bis. own body, bathed in blood,
was found at the threshold of his store, Mr.
Phelps having been assassinated.
1t is reported on apparently good author
ity and the assertion is intrinsically probable
that Hon. Gilbert G., Walker, of Virginia, will
Introduce at the next session of Congress, a
bill for the assumption by the National Gov
ernment of all the State debts Mr.. Walker,
who is now Conservative member of the
House of Representatives from the Third Dis
trict of Virginia, was formerly Governor of that
State He is an active, shrewd, popular, and
ambitious politician, and the idea of the as.
sumption of the State debts by the National
Government is one which he has long entertain
ed, and has advocated with ingenious argu-