Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1875-12-13
THE UNIVERSAL CEMENT.

1t was tall, spare man who stood
crying it to all passers-by. In spite of
myself, | heard what he said, though he
addressed vacancy and was In haste.
He propounded it as candidate for
public favor and styled it the ''onlY true
and Universal Cement" But he had
very little to show for his ''stock in
trade"
Usually, when one ventures upon this
line of business. he has cracked teapot,
or soup terreen, or couple of pieces
of stick roughly fastened together. One
smashes the crockery, and shows that
the old fractures are broken across by
the new as though they had never exist
ed. Or one whacks the sticks with a
mallet. and meanwhile vociferates the
merit of the composition which secures
them.
This man did nothing of the sort In
a deep monotonous voice. | heard him
saying:
This is the only true. real and genu-
inc Universal Cement. Here you see it
done up in this small package. Easily
carried in the vest pocket such ee-
ment, gentlemen and ladies, as the world
has never known. The secret of its man.
ufacture belongs entirely to myself. ]
have no agents and want none. Here's
your true, real, genuine Universal Ce-
ment. warranted to mend broken hearts
SO they will be as good as new. ! mend
ed mans head with it the other day.
They said he was cracked. but | cured
him. It's good even for broken banks.
1t can be used for public outbreaks or
for family jars IL is guaranteed to heal
any breach between partners in business
or for life. Here's your true. real aud
genuine Universal Cement-the thing
the worlds been looking for and sought,
but hasn't found"
By this time | was leaning against q
doorway, listening. The crowd passed
along. but the spare man, holding up
some small, white boxes in bis hand,
kept on addressing the moving throng.
Strangely enough. be never seemed to
repeat anything except the announce
ment that this was the ''true, real. gen.
uine Universal Cement" All else that
he uttered was new. As listened. be
proceeded:
This is the finest thing in the world
when one has been cut By an aeguaiut-
ance. IL will heal the wound instantly
and leave no scar. People who live in
glass houses will find il to their advau-
tage 10 have some Of this true. real.
genuine Universal Cement. IL will
mend mans life right away, withOu,
half trying. just as easily as IL will stop
leak in the household expenses. Il has
/ been known 70 fasten two enemies To-
gether like the Siamese twins. Where's
the man who would be without the true,
real. Universal Cement? It's the great.
est thing on earth for making firm the
fabric Of society. II will mend damag-
ed reputation aud that is more than
most cements will do.
Ladies aud gentlemen, try nay true,
real. genuine Universal Cement. IL il
splendid for hurt feelings IL will mak'
the honorable gentlemen in Congress
stick to their principles Il has drawE
together opposing interests and hsls
them krm. don't kBOw anything i
cant do. IL Is the only true. real. geo
uine Universal Cement II you want
box 10 take hone and"
..what's il worth p said 1. steppinl
forward.
fake It at your own price. cir. Max
me 40 offer.
"A quarter ought % buy il, said !.
-Yes. It's cheap Il that--dog cheap.
said the thin nan. But must knot
what you want 70 mend"