The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1875-05-15
Laughing Gas.

Laughing Gas.
Hard drinking-chewis ice.
Staving busiaess-making barrels.
The scale of good-breeding B nat
sral.
A poor relation-telling m anec-
dote badly.
Sure 70 produce short crops--ths
barber's shears. g =
Carpets arc bought By the yard and
WORN BY tho foot.
A musician nnd q sailor should A.
ways know how to sound the c.
Wasting sweetness-putting Jour
arm about pretty woman.
Boston has a woman newspaper
carrier who is eighty seven years old.
When horse-cars have good con-
ductors they are never struck bs light
ming.
Why is compositor like q cripple I
Because he can't get ON without q
( "I'll come to thee when daylight
sets," as the lamplighter said to the
lamp.
The dog who leads the blind man
to the different free lunches ia q bar
pilot. 81
What word ia always pronounced
wrong, even by the best scholars =
Wrong.
It is said that the Digger Indians
are never known to smile. They are
grave Diggers.
What is it which has a mouth and
never speaks, and a bed and never
sleeps IA river.
The hair of young lady in Vermont
turned white in q single night. She
fell into -four barrel. rs
Mr.. Sherry of Indiana became pale
Sherry ON being arrested for obtain
ing money on worthless draft. IS ~
Twsthings in this world that should
not be trifled with--a womaD'sopinion
and the business end Of Il wasp.
Precocions boy munching the fruit
of the date tree: "Manln,a, If I ent
dates enough will grow up to be an
almanac z" ......
Ever aimee VIC have heard of that
Maine editor named II. Pot. we have
been filed with anxiety to know if 4
triffc would make him boil over.
Some ingenious observer has dis.
covered that there il u e,narkable se-
semblance between Il baby and wheat,
since it is craslled, then thrasted, and
finally becomes the flower of the fam
lily. ssl.ssss ~
At a recent meeting Of a society 4
composed Of men from the Emerald
lslp, , meinhrr made slss ~ I'm !,
motion: M. President Il inov6 YES
wl,itewash the ceiling green, In honor
Of the old flag.
A little four year.old nrchin strayed
into u neighhor's house the other day.
When he got home he told his mother
that he saw shutters in the floor, and
when he stood on them lots of hot
came out. :. sf
An old riverman said Mark Twain
had no genius for plotting, but il he
could have been supplied with steam
boats when learning the business, he
would have cleared the river Of snags;
he never missed one. dr.. 3
An advertisement in the Washing-
ton Star reads: elf you want to 6s
we'll dressed wear Warwick collar,
and have your boots blacked." 1t
must be warm weather ut the capital
tn admit Of such Il wardrobe. Boston
Post.
The other day postmaster, on en-
tering his Office, had his olfactory
nerves disagree.bly assailea. On
questioning boy in the Office az to
the canse, the facetions youth replied:
!" l don't know, sir hut perhaps the
smeh comes from some of the dead
letters"
What's your business - said the
magistrate of II police court. the other
morning, to q prisoner. I'm an OBJ
servationist, your worship" "Aa
obseryationist what il that I 90 One
who looks around in the daytime to
see what he can attsal ut night, if it
pleascs your Worship
A ScOtclilnan went to a lawyer once
for advice, and detailed the circum-
stances of tho case. "Have you told
me all the facts precisely as they oc-
curred I" asked the lawyer. "Oh,
aye, SIR" rcplicd he. :. / thought it
best to tell you the plain truth. Ys
can put i'll the lies into it yourself.
Shut Your eyes and listen NIT me-
said Uncle Van Hcyde. "Vell, de
first night open store / counts de
monies and finds him nix right
counts him and .lere be tree gone =;
and vat you dink does den J" 81
can't say" '' Wy. I did not count him
any more, and l., comes out shoost
right ever since.'
A reverend gentleman, during
sojouru among the hills Of New Hanp-
shire, stopping alta cottage, inqnircd