The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1875-01-07
THE Ross TRAMP

4 II ~ ipOh1l' mann
He called one day last week and asked
MS for job, but we were compelled to
tell him our cases were all engaged then
he asked us for chew Of tobaCcom and ten
cents to get Il drink of whisky; he didn't
skirmiSh about the ord any. He was
about 10 years old, dirty, ragged and un-
shorn; he wore brass trimmed spectacles
with one glass out, and no two hairs in
his stiff, grizzly beard grew in the same
direction. With half ounce Of fine-cut
as Il pIumper in his sinister cheek, we
listened to his mild answers to our ques-
tions, until he warmed up, and took the
reins OF conversation in his own mouth
and talked OIL answers so fast we couldn't
get a question in sideways to any advan-
age. We took il all in phonetically, and
are prepared to send his history abroad,
as given by himself Giving the tobac-
co Il turn and ejecting the juice into the
optic of our passing poodle, in answer to
our question as to where he had been,
he began.
Worked last on the Chicago Times. held
an ad case wasn't always jour, you
see besides having owned a dozen
smaller papers, once owned one Of the
biggest papers south of the Ohio river,
but lost it In tunnel speculation
What tunnel scheme was it2 we mildly
interrupted.
And he resumed Oh, il was big
thing; was the. protector, and Stephen
A, Douglas and Robert TOOmbs entered
into the speculation with me; our object
was to construct a tunnel under water
and ground, from Key West to Havana,
for the purpose OF smuggling, but when
We had just got fairly to work, Bob went
back on me, and Stephen A. died, and |
WAS stuck. Then / went to London and
was commercial editor on the TsleQraph,
and was afterward appointed Minister to
Spain: but you see, got mixed in little
duel there and had 20 vamoose; next
turned up as private Secretary to the
Gar of Russia, but didn't like that sit
too cold; so | left and went directly to
Salt Lake City and put on agony as q
Mormon elder for year then left six
suffering wives to shift for themselves,
and went to Honolulu, where gave the
present King, Kalakaua his first lesson
ON banjo; now he's dined and wined,
received and gloried in by my country
men, while well, while : amt, and |
knew the snoozer when he couldn't play
decent game of marbles Well, when /
left Honolulu, l went directly to San
Francisco, and making a stake, started a
Bunko Institute, and made piles of coin.
Have crossed the Atlantic ocean seven
times, sampled whisky in every city of
the United States, stalked wild buffalo
with tame Grand Duke, killed two
Mexican Greasers in a fair fight, and was
engaged with the engineering corps of
the Panama railway; have pulled skiff
on every known riverin America, knock
ed Tom Allen down in a saloon fight one
night, and when found out who he was,
| lit out and went West Have squan-
dered three immense fortunes, and fooled
away a silver mine, in trying to invent
an editorial fighting machine, which |
had nearly perfected, when busted the
last time. Like Canada better than | do
his country, only its too blasted cold !;
think Pll 60 Northeast, rs most all the
kid tramps are pulling Southwest; so
you can't put me on case; we'll all
right, which is the nearest cut to Alliance?
and when we told him, he said goodbye,
took another ten cent scrip we offered
him and stepped across the street for a
cup of tea. Trampus fugit