Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-10-14
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

4
| TO be about as usual for the season.
Nantucket, Mass, has decreased 1000
| N population within the past five years,
and blubberingly bewhales her loss.
"A square of ground which was held
| for $50, 900 in Galveston month ago is
now sand -heap without house on it.
The New Orleans Republican, is around
inquirlng how the news that comes
through the ocean cable can be SO dry.
OF the entire population of London
II Is estimated that over one-fourth, or
100000 of people, never attend church.
Russia is going to indulge in street
railways, bell punches and all that sort of
| thing. A Yankee, of course, has the con-
| tract
Flush times convert fools into gas
bags and spendthrifts, who, when suddenly
struck by hard times, become beggars and
| thieves
Horace Bumstead, of Munson, Mass,
recently lost two fiocks of sheep by dogs.
| One Of the CANNES was caught next night
IN steel trap.
Rhode Island would have had a whirl-
wind the other day, but just as il got to
going it crossed the State line 10 find room
TO spread itself
"A French philosopher says: "Maid.
| ems in love have but one eye;n but it is
two to one he never said that to the girl he
was after individually.
Mrs. Croft attended Troy funeral
and wept so loudly and so bitterly that a
policeman searched her and found five
stolen tides in her pockets.
Franklin used to urge men to adver.
tlse, but II a merchant prefers playing
checkers and sitting with his feet on the
| counter it's his own business.
| The oil-springs OF Pennsylvania were
known to the whites as early as 1929, but
the full uses and value of petroleum were
not known for 200 years afterward.
China is reported arming rapidly and
is getting impertinent to the British
There'll be bull in that China-shop pres
| emily, which his other name is John
The Board of Trade of Baltimore is
about to petition the Legislature Of Mary.
land to enact law by which breaches of
trust shall be punished as larcenies
The best way Is not TO make will ut
| all. If you do make one the lawyers will
| prove you an idiot or a lunatic and take
the property for proving it.-Detron Free
| Press.
The Danbury Nees holds up its right
| hand and swears that Danbury hen, de-
| string 10 90 away the next day on a visit,
laid two perfect eggs, one within the
other.
The decision of an English court
makes the aeronaut responsible for dam
ages to crops, fences etc, occasioned by
his balloon op Inv tha frnul pyhau X
alghts.
A model will, duly executed and wit
messed, was recently presented for probate
| al Plymouth, Mass, Of which the follow
ing is verbatim copy: July 12, 1875.
give all my property to my wife"
"A Michigan engineer describes the
sensation Of jumping from his locomotive
10 avoid a smash-up as follows: "Iou tie
up into fourteen hard knots, strike u
stump, unite and find yourself on the other
side of the fence"
"A Buffalo boy aged fourteen recently
passed himself off as Daniel Drew's
nephew, In that city, and purchased a
steam yacht for 1900, after inducing
the owner 10 make numerous triaLtrips
and several important changes in the
machinery.
There were thirty.fve entries in the
haby-shcw at a Vermont fair the other
day, and the poor Committee on Premiums,
after being driven nearly wild In deciding
upon the merits of the youngsters, report
ed at random, and got off the grounds be-
fore any of the irate mothers discovered
that their children had not taken a
prize.
\
ding a remarkably bashful young man
was present, who was so taken aback by
being called upon for toast at the dinner
that he got up and stammered; " Charlie,
my ffr-iriend, may you have wedding
once year as long as you live" The
bride was terribly offended at this, and has
cut his acquaintance entirely.
"A couple In town near Boston, be-
coming old and losing their teeth, recently
concluded that false sets of new ones would
be desirable, but, being frugal folks and,
moreover, having for some years made one
pair of spectaclcs do double service, con-
cluded that one set would answer ali pur.
poses. So one set was bought, and they
now eat their meals by each using the
masticators for alternate five minutes.
AT the banquet of the veterans of the
Mexican war, in San Francisco, one Of
the speakers said that Gen. Taylor did
not say, "a little more grape, Capt
Bragg" but Capt. Bragg, IL is better to
lose battery than battle" This was in
reply when Gen. Bragg dashed hurriedly
up, saluted the General, and reported
General, | shall have TO fall back with
my battery or lose it,"
"A Pawlet (Vt) doctor who had been
paying attention TO an aged spinster Of
that town recently transferred his allie
glance TO young widow, which 80
aroused the other that she used 10 station
herself under the widows window dur.
ing the doctors calls, wherenpon the wild
ow waylaid her one night, and, when she
came In sight, assaulted her with lot Of
ancient eggs the result was lawsuit, In
which the spinster recovered damages.
---One Of the remarkable men Of the
Alabama Constitutional Convention Is
Col. Bethea He is a lawyer, and has had
only one case m his life. II was his first
and his last The case involved large
amount Of property, and his fee depended
ON his success. He won; his fee was
SOC, 900, and with this he gracefully re-
tired from the bar. A legal career 50
brief and SO brilliant has probably been
the lot of no other man since Legislation