Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-02-25
THE LYON COUNTY TIMES
VARIETIES.

A little girl was asked WHAT was
the meaning of the word happy.
She gave a pretty answer, saying,
at is to feel as if you wanted to
give all your things to your little
sister"
The proper way for lady to di-
rect letter this winter is to run
the direction from corner to corner.
scatter three one-cent stamps over
the envelope, and write "Impor-
tant" on any vacant space left.
When the cold wind blows take
care of your nose that it doesn't get
froze, and wrap up your toes in
warm wooden hose. The above, we
suppose, was written in prose by
some one who knows the effect Of
cold SHOWS.
A good many people were recent
ly deluded into going into an apoth-
ecary's shop, in village on the
Hudson, to see a red bat which had
been captured and was on exhibit
ton. They saw it, and it was red,
as a brickbat usually is.
Miss Molly Allen of Ohio at thir-
teen don't fool away her time on
rag dolls. She has a nice little
telescope rife, with which she com
mits terrible havoc among small
game. She received $50 bounty on
the squirrels she killed last sum
mer.
A young bride who had been
fashionably educated was asked by
her fond husband to attend to the
ordering of the dinner, as he did
not have time TO go to the market.
It is fact that she blandly re-
quested tha butcher to send home
"leg of tongue, seventeen pounds
Of steak and two halibut.
~ Georgia man insisted on
smoking in church, and drew out a
twelve-inch bowieknife to prove
his right" says an exchange. No
body disputed his right, of course,
for under the common law Of Geor
gia, man with twelve-inch bowie
knife in his hand has a right to
smoke wherever he pleases. Sour
rier-Journal.
What can be more startling than
to see q delicate and fascinating
young lady with a long train, sud
denly turn around without giving |
the unsuspecting individual behind |
her any warning whatever, gently
stoop, reach back with her right |
foot and kick desperately? She is
going to cross the street, and is
merely switching off her traiu for a
new direction.
A party of men animatedly en-
gagged in discussing politics before
country store attracted the atten-
ton of an aged agriculturist.
There's sumthin' the matter here"
he observed to his wife; and draw
ing his team, he lightly shouted to
a consumptive individual on the
outskirts, whats foot?' Twelve
inchesw was the sardonic reply.
The aged agriculturist swore some,
and drove on.
There is nothing so effective in
bringing a man to the scratch as
man healthy and highspirited flea.
A good natured man will put up
with almost anything short Of lin
ing his wig with a mustard plaster.
1.-The one thing needful for the
perfect enjoyment of love is conf
dence." Same with hash and
sausage.
"Why do you call your dog
Oak?" asked Smith of Jones. Be
cause he has such a coarse bark.
replied Jones.
1t is rather creditable to Ameri-
can manufacturers of gas fixtures
that the royal palace in St. Peters
burg is to be supplied with ten
fifty-light chandeliers manufactur-
ed in this country.
There are in the United States to-
day 720, 900 adult white men who
can neither read nor write, while of
adult white women in the same illit-
crate condition the mber amounts
to 1,150,000 q.
MopkavS navar GROW o11ar in ay