The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-01-21
a us<as ,Enceunter with . Roe kang-
Chair.
{Fron the Columbus Joarns u

ola Hcs.snger was going to bed little
~ayv the other night, and 4os wishing to
.s,s.srb Mrs. McStinger, W 40 had tongue
like rst.tail file, he thou 1T IT just as well
not Ia turn on the gas He got on very
wei, until he reached t. .e door of the cham
her where his pate .nt wife lay sleeping.
Here he paused m ,anent, balancing on bis
heels like po.e or juggler's nose. Then
ne made dash .or IL, in order to make
beeIine across he floor. Mrs. McShnger,
with her usu al exemplary fortitude, bad
placed the rJc9tng-chair With such ablsed
skill that no man could come into
the room without running over 1t; SO
the 6rst thing he knew McSinger STUDDED
his toe. neil OF against the rocker, which
knocked the seat against the crazy.bone oil
his kne'., and made one Of the long arms
rrod bim In the stomach. simultaneously
de fell over the chair crosswise, and It kicked
Aim behind bis back before he could get up
from the floor as he stood on alLfours. The
engagement was now fully opened. When
q man begins falling over rocking.cbairs IN
dark room, he ought always to have three
-dass' rations and forty rounds.
Before McStipger could get up straight, his
knee came down on one of the long rockers
behind. and the back Of the chair came down
on bis head with whack that laid him out
on the floor and before he could move the
chair kicked him three times In the tender
est part Of his ribs with the sharp end OF the
rocker. This made him perfectly furious,
and he scrambled up and made biiad rush
at the chair, determined to blow up the enc.
my's works. He ran square against the
back, and it rocked forward with him,
turning complete somersault over
the handles, throwing McStinger half
way across the room and landing
on top of him, digging into bis abdomen
like BULBS horns, as be lay spread out on
the under side. 1t would have been good
thing for Mes niger if he bad lain still thep
and let the chair have Its own way. IL lay
fiat on its back, with the long points Of the
rockers embracing his abdomen, and didn't
seem TO want to do anything active just
then. But Mcstinger couldn't make up bis
mind to give it up yet. He rolled over side.
ways and upset the chair. It fell over with
crash On its side, giving him dig In the
liver, which made him straighten out spas
medically, barking one shin from the instel
to the knee on the rocker W bich hung in The
air, and getting the chair on its feet again
where it stood rocking backward and for.
ward at him, like weary old ram making
feints of buttiug its adversary, in order to
throw him of bis guard.
The blow in the side nearly finished Nc
Singer, ana WDile ivlGS Iue(e TuOUlnS Uls
wind back again he was just beginning to re-
fleet whether his honor required him TO pro-
coed any further in the affair, when Mrs
McStinger suddenly began screaming all The
names in the crimes act, under the impression
that the Charley Ross abductors were trying
to commit burglary, bigamy, robbery, and
everything else on her. Upto this time she
had been speeches. with terror, and bad
lain there trembling, shedding Precipitation,
and accommodating shriekng power, until
she had gained the screaming capacity of q
camel-back engine. She had just reached
her third Sforzando fortissimo acceleraado,
when old McStinger succeeded in getting to
his feet once more, and became dImy visible
to Mrs. Mcstinger. With one wild, parting
shriek she sprang from the bed and made O
dash for the door, near which the rocking.
chair still stood menacing the whole uni
verse with buttiDg motion. Mrs. McStingel
had no time for Investigation just then, anC
she pitched in and over the rocking. chair
and clear on down stairs, the chair after her
turning over and over, and kicking Mrs
McStinger every bump, until they both
landed in the hall below, where the chair
broke into atoms. This ended the fight.
Ii wives will learn from this sad story moi
to leave rockng-chairs standing around The
middle Of the room for their poor husbands
to fall over we shall not have written in vain