The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1875-05-14
The Woman That AlWays Gets a
Coed Bargain.

Tho Woman That Always Gets a
Coed Bargain.
She rides to town on the ragged edge
Of an old quilt, and holds her basket Of
eggs elapsed to her bosom, and with her
pipe in her mouth, and her snuf.box in
her pocket, she attacks the merchant.
First, she walks all over town, and car.
ries her basket, to find the highest mar.
ket. After she has found it. she goes
back to the first store and tells the mer.
chont how much she can sell for, and
wants him to give her a little more, be.
cause she always trades there. Some.
times he does raise the price quarter
of cent. and sends her on her way re.
joicing. Oftener he is very contented
man. Has about all the eggs he can sell;
prices are variable; and ''then comes the
tug of war;" She hates to leave without
selling the eggs. So she asks him the
price Of carpet chain, and how he sells
his muslin by the bolt, and wonders how
much he would take to chain forty yards;
and suddenly asks if he can't give her
sixteen and two-thirds. He says,
WHAT" For he don't know whether it s
muslin or carpet chain, she is talking
about. 81 mean for the eggs,' says she.
II always sell the biggest, and eat the
little ones at home, and / think they
arc worth sixteen and two.
third cents. The merchant scratches his
bump of caution, and says he will give
her that, hut she must not tell any one,
as he can't afford to pay that price for
eggs. (Of course she never tells.) Then
she proceeds to 'ttrade it OUT First
and always she wants q pound of soda
then row Of pins and two needles; that
is, how much would he ''charge" for two
needles. He don't know; never sold less
than paper; only ten cents. She knows
all that, but ten cents will buy q yard OF
calico, or two spools of thread, and be-
sides, she never buys but two needles at a
time. If the girls have many, they lose
many; SO she buys only two. He gives
her two needles. Then she buys two or
three remnants to make q dress-rem-
nants always come cheaper.
Next she buys pair Of gartcrs. There
is plenty Of good rubber in the box. but
she hunts till she finds some that has
been kept over and has lost its stretch !;
this she gets for five cents. She wants to
know if they have any odd cups and sau-
GERS! The merchant says he don t
know; would have to count the whole lot
to find out. She says she wishes he would,
as she wants two or three. He guesses it
is his dinner time, and calls James Hen
ry to wait on her. James Henry bows
and asks what more she will have. She
says she don't know; maybe she has
traded the eggs all out. lie counts it up
and says there are fifty.six cents coming
to her. "Well," (she studies awhile
',you don't on, pay money for eggs,
''No." ''Then suppose I'll have to trade
it out, but things are SO high I don't
know what to get. Have you tobacco :"
''Yes'm,' says he, ''come this way"
Soc goes over, shifts The fragrant weed,
and says: ''We are poor and have to
work hard, and have to do without a
great ma " things, and I'll take half a
plug hen she prices the gihghans
and ducllngs and beavers she feels of
the silverware, and tastes the sugar and
says, 1--WE are poor and We work hard
and try to get along. and we must have
something to keep us up, 50 1 guess I'll
take little more of that tobacco" Then
she prices looking glass, tries her face
in it, and says it 1.-THE glass; is a little
crooked. She calls for RIBBON, and can t
see why yard of ribbon should cost as
much as yard of calico, when it is a
good deal narrower. Next she views the
dishes. She wants some dishes, she
does, but she don't know whether to take
two small ones or one large one, so she
don't take any. She wants pasteboard
box large enough to make pasteboard for
a sun-bonnet. That is given her, and
she wants two yards of wall paper to
cover her handbook. Then she takes her
pipe out of her mouth, and holds it in
her right hand, and looks straight at
James Henry and says, 1--WE are very
poor, and we work very hard, and We
can't buy everything we see, so if it's all
the same to you, I'll take the rest of the
eggs out in tobacco
1nE LATEST GN0ST Stray