davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05

Anderson the wizard, met with a
Yankee who stole march on him
after the following fashion:
Enter Yankee-"I say. You
Professor Anderson r.
ayes, sir, at your service"
"Ws'al, you're tarnation smart
man, and I'm somethin' at . trick
tew-kinder cute, tew, you know"
"Ah indeed. What tricks are
you up tot" asked the Professor,
amused at the simplicity of the
fellow.
"Wa'al, I can take q red cent
and change 1t into ten dollar gold
piece"
"Oh, that's mere slight of hand
trick, can do that too"
"No, you can't. I'd like to see
you try"
Well, hold out your hand with
cent in it."
Yankee stretched ont his enor-
nous paw with q red cent lying
on it.
"This is your cent, is i'll Sure z
Wa'al, it's nothin' else"
"Hold on to it tight then, Presto
change now open your hand"
Yankee opened his fist, and there
was gold eagle shining on his
palm.
"You did II, I declare /! Much
obleedged tew you," quoth Yankee
turning on his heel to make tracks
Stay" said the professor, "you
may leave me my ten dollars"
"Your'n want it my cent; and
didn't you turn II in this ere yal
Ter thing, eh I Good BY"
Yankee left the room saying
II guess there amt nothi'n greer
about this child"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05

injurious, of which the following is
characteristic specimen:
In the year 1924, Franklin visit
ed Boston, and on his return to
Philadelphia, at every stopping he
was beset with officious inquiries
for bis name, business, etc, on
which he determined to be before
hand with such interrogatories in
future. At the next tavern he
announced himself as Benjamin
Franklin from Boston TO Philadel-
phia, a printer not worth q dollar,
eighteen years of age, a single man
seeking my fortune, etc, and tlis
singular introduction checked all
further inquiries, and effectually
checked audrepulsr d the daring pro-
pensity of Yankee inquisitiveness.
At one Of the public houses, the
fireplace was surrounded by men
so closely packed that our traveller
could not approach near enough
to feel any of its agreeable warmth,
and being cold and chilled, called
out: "Hostler, have you got any
oystersp
"Yes, sir" said the man.
"Well, then give my horse .
peck!"
The man rose and Franklin took
the seat.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05

Man is the only animal that
blows bis nose. The alligator has
a nose nearly two feet long, but he
never blows it. The elephant can
reach over his nose and tickle his
hind legs, and he often does but
he never wipes it. The blue nose
baboon has cerulean probosris Of
which the noblest animal might be
proud, but it goes unhlown. The
double nose pointer has an i'm
mense capacity for blowing, but
he never will and the oyster.
whose nose reaches clear around TO
his back, refrains from exercising
II. Man alone has reached TO the
height Of q pocket-handkerchief.
and he proudly waves his dandapA
as sufficient evidence Of bic -
pericrity.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05
EslGings.


A winter suit-The close of the
canals.
An article you can always bor-
row-trouble.
A Correspondent writes us to
learn If deaf boy can become a
book-keeper. Certainly. Is there
not a maxim of "deafa an adder r.
The first United States patent
granted to a Chinaman has been
issued to Chang Quong Wo, OF
San Francisco, on an invention
for fastening the seams of overalls.
A Yankee captain once sung out,
in a squall, to a raw hand on board
his craft, "Let go that jib, there
Darn your skin, let go that jib! J"
II amt touching it !" squalled out
greeny.
A Kentucky lady, who promised
her grandfather never to marry
certain young man on the face OF
the earth, went through the interest
ing ceremony in the Mammoth Cave.
A stingy husband accounted for
the lawlessness Of his children in
company by saying his wife always
gave them their own way. "Poor
things, its oil l have to give them,"
was the reply.
A prominent Detroit Universe
list, some months ago married q
red-headed widow with four child
rem, and last week he remarked to
friend, 81 was blind when / believ-
ed there was no hell. see now !"
Tilton wandering around the
house in his night-clothes, search
ing for q soft bed and Mrs. Tilton
following him with q candle, is one
Of the most charming exhibitions
of eccentric genius that the world
has ever seen.
"For heavens sake lend me $5,"
said a destitute man to a friend,
81 have had nothing in my house
to eat for four days but rice
"Rice !" said the other, "if I had
known you had rice I would have
come around to dinner"
"Go away! Leave me with the
dead! Let me fling myself on his
coffin and die there" That was
in Nebraska, six months ago, and
now the widow has won another
trusting soul, and No. Is portrait
is in the attic, face to the wall.
Celia Bnrleigh says: 81 see no
reason Why . girl should not he
taught the use Of the jack-knife,
the hammer and saw, to drive q
nsil, tighten screw, or put up q
shelf in her room. She should, IL
possible, have garden, and be
taught to take pride in her ac-
qusintance with nature
"I'll put head on you y said q
little tcn-year-old gamin to his COM
panion as they were perambulating
School street the other day. "You
try it," was the ready response,
"snd your mothers monkey will
be q 81 Grub in less than ten min
utes !" The rising generation is
verv ufor'ado
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05
How Franklin Secured "a seat.

DR.. Franklin owed much Of his
extraordinary success TO keen in-
sight into human nature and a
sagacity that quickly perceived the
best and readiest methods of at
tanning desired end. To be sure,
many Of his "strategetic move
ments" we're not commendable
but they wcrv moro humorous than
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05
Red Clover the Cheapest and
Fest Fertilizer.

A correspondent Of the South
crn Planter aud Farmer says he
has ascertained by fifty-four years
farm experience that red clover Is
the basis Of all permanent improve
ments on Southern lands. II plas-
ter scts vol il should bc ptondfnlly
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05
New Firm
New Goods !
AND NEW TERMS!
On the Cash System I!

Believing as we do that the time
has arrived when the people of
this city desire to buy their good.
for CASH at corresponding low
rates, we shall make no accounts
whatever, except upon special al
rangements.
Goods will be sold by us at rates
that would ruin any concern doing
credit business in six months.
LOCKWOOD, LUCE e. SEAGE.
Alpena, March "a, 1875.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05

Pine lands examined and carefully estimated
10000 acres OF Farming Lands for
sale, from one TO twenty-five miles from Alpena,
and payments from one 10 five years time. Pro-
duce, tanbark, posts, ETC., taken in payment. Best
of references given.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05
VIM. III. PHELPS,

Ds,lsr in Lime, Water Lime, Plaster Paris, and
Half Realy-Mlde Mortar for sale at all times.
Contracts taken for all kinds OF Mason Work,
plain or ornamental. Material furnished IL RE-
quirsi. Othcr on Second street. sG
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-05-05
w. III. Simpson.
Oung Canadian.

Bsw manufactures, with Thompson, Smith * Sons,
Duncan City, Mich. All saws sent for repairs will
rscsivs prompt attention. lji
Orangeburg news and times. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1875-1877, 1875-06-12
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS.
COUNTY COMMISSIONERS OFFICE
Orangclurg, S. c., April 80, 1875.

Orangcllrg, S. c., April 80, 1876.
called proposals will he received ut Tie
Office OF the Board Of County Commissioners
for Orangcnrg County, until May 81, 1873,
for the building Of Il COURT HOUSE Tor sail
County, in the Town Of Orangcbnrg, s. C.
plans and specifications prepared by Il. D.
llcwctson, Esq, Architect, can be seen and cx-
aminrd at the office Of the said Board, al any
time, upon application. Such proposal, to
be addressed to The Chairman of the Beard
County Commissioners for Or:.ngclurg
County, and To he endorsed Proposals for
l',li'tiing Court House.
The Board reserves the right to reject
any and all bids, if deemed by them best for
The interest of the County to do So
by Order Of tic Board.
GEO. BOLIVER,
Clerk Of Co. Con'rs.
Or;nscburg, So. Ca.
may lS., I'm
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1875-05-05
From the chronological Journal for May.
Common Sense in Religion.

TO know why one church succeeds
where another fails, orwhy one minis
ter becomes popular where another,
lore scholarly and more palns-taking,
draws about him only thinly scatter
ed audience of those who, by long
habit, have become welded to the
timbers of the church, is a question
perhaps as old and as difficult OF So
luton as the problem, "Why in the
world that man married that woman
And yet it seems to us that many
of the difficulties Of the question are
removed, Or at least are illuminated,
by simply throwing upon the light OF
that clear, practical co mmon sense
which we do not hesitate to apply
toward other matters and which moth
ing but lpaganistic superstition COM
pelS us 10 Wlllilol,l WHICH, ooLIeiiPiae
ing religious problems and perplex-
ties.
There are men and women who
would consider it rank sacrilege to
suggest that there was any other
cause than purely spiritual one for
the lack of success which attends
some ministers through life, or the
dull, Indifferent audiences viii ch one
is sure to find in certain church es.-
And yet whining, disagree.able
delivery may be the cause of She
former, while in the latter not all the
charms Of oratory could remove the
inevitable results .'of an ill.ventilate'l
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1875-05-05

lie is in the study, and he gave hel
a history of the last half hour.
Why she exclaimed at the end, dc
you not see the burglar is your Uncle
Dick?
Uncle Dick /? said Ralph, rather be
wildered.
Yes, said Polly, only he amt.
thought he didn't look anything like
the Dick Crammer used to know.
You are right, cried Ralph, aligh'
breaking in on him. He pretended he
was Uncle Dick SO as to get the mon
ey, but he got more than he bargained
for, he added triumphantly.
The gray light Of morning was
slowly breaking in the east, the clouds
were slowly solling away, the snow
lay piled in pure white drifts in the
yard and road Ralph and Freddie
stood at the window anxiously watch
ing for their father.
Papas coming at length cried Fred
die ioyfully.
At last, said Bell, starting up and
glancing with shudder in the direc-
ton of the study.
He's got another man with him,
Uncle Dick, I'll bet, said Ralph, as he
watched the horse plunging through
the snow.
They soon entered the yard, and af-
ter putting the horse up, they came
stamping in.
Father ! Papa Burglar such were
the exclamatlons that greeted the
Judge as he entered the room.
How! what! he exclaimed, and then
as his ear caught the word ''burglar"
he stepped quickly into the study, the
rest crowding after.
: The window, which was near the
ground, was open, on the floor lay a
black wig, false whlskers and heavy
gray overcoat. The papers Of the
desk were piled in confused heap
and the money gone. There were spots
of blood on the carpet and on the
window, and the judge and his broth
time, followed the tracks in the light
snow and soon came to a sheltered
spot beside the road, where the burg
lar had evidently hitched his horse
and came the rest of the way OH foot.
They went back to the house and ex.
amined the coat. In the inside breast
pocket they found an account book
with the name w. Andrill on the fly
Leaf inside was note against the
Judge for six thousand dollars on the
back of the note was scribbled the fol.
lowing:
JUDGE Il thought to disguise my
self, come here and get your money,
come again tomorrow and present my
note but your cursed boy check-ma-
ted me, and with my shoulder full Of
shot the game is up. ANDRILL.
The judge sent to Nearton immedi-
ately, but Andrill had disappeared,
and as the udge had his note he suf-
tered no loss but years after, when
Ralph had grown to be a man, and
married, when the judges little grand
son would beg for story, he would
take him on his knee and tell him of
"RaIph's midnight adventure.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1875-05-05

A FURTHER SUPPLY OF MOTHER
ANohle's Medicines, just received at
FREEMAN'S
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1875-05-05

THE Place to buy your COFFEE
l. IL at D. II. FREENAN's.
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1875-08-05
City Journalism.

TINE FIFTH DAILY PIpPrNa ITS sHELI--A DEMO
CRATIC MORNING PENNY rAPER.
We announce by authority, that O'Byrne
Bros, publishers Of the weekly Advertiser, In
tend to start penny morning daily, to be known
as the Morning Herald, in about three weeks
probably beginning its Issue on Monday, August
Esd. It will be Democratic in politics, and viii
be under the editorial change Of Charles d
Crutchheld, who recently established the Sundd,
Ne'os in Reading, and subsequently, sold it t.
Hon. ]. Lawrence GetZ. Mr.. Crutchfeld il con
sidered good journalist and will no doubl
make lively newspaper.
In connection with the subject, the following
note il sent us:
To the Editor efths Comm,rc
For the better information OF Epery Eoening
sylvaniau, (Which would be no disgrace), but I
virginian, born, reared, and educated in thai
State. O'ByRNE Bros.
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1875-08-05
TNURNAN0 ePXpQH AID DAYA1Dv 81

Senator Thurman made his spesch at Mans
field, O., On Saturday evening and his brother in
politics. Mr.. Bayard, has had the opportunity Of
deciding. By IL success or failure. whether 1t Is
possible for hard-money ant-inAstion man to
consistently support the Ohio ticket, putting
partly above principle, and the election Of "Bill'
Allen over tho welfare Of the country. There is
. general expression that Mr.. Thurman made .
poor nst Of 1.-THE plea Of . psttifogger, and
not the bold clear uttarancs Of astasesman. He
represented that tho financial question was Of
minor importance, though he declared, in the
Senate last winter, that 1t IL ''the real question
that this:country has to sottls," and he attempt
cd to show that the Ohio platform need
not be considered ~ endorsing an ir-
redeemabls currency, ~ Its language Wa
not positively and explicitly TO that effect
He therefore urged Dsmoorats to vote the ticket
sinking for tho present al concern on what but
few months ago, he thought the vital question
in the higher concern Of slecting his uncle
Governor Of Ohio. e.
And now, We remain curious to know how thu
Pollux Of these Democratic gemIni testifies untt
the people. Senator Bayard lie, we arc told, ,
hard money man, and he knows, Of course, tina
the Ohio Democrats are making their campaign
test Of the possibility Of further imitation Of tn
currency. II Mr.. Bayard keeps company with Nj
Thurman. - he did last Autumn and Winter, b
too must put party above principle aud Allen
interests over those Of the country. But II b
holds to what he declared few months ago h
parts company with the Ohio Democrats. an
withdraws from the close ties which bound hir
to the Ohio Senator. ''.
Can any Democrat imagine Andrew jackson
and Thomas H. Benton quailiug before the Obi
infiationists, and yielding to them ~ Thnrma
openly does, and Mr.. Bayard seems to do2
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1875-08-05

DIR. Holmes and James Russell Lowell have
poems in the August Atlantic the first, "old
Cambridge in the doctors best vein, was read
at the dinner in Memorial Hall, Cambridge
July 8, the centennial Of Washington's taking
command Of tho American Army. Mr.. Lowell's
poem, "Under the Green Elm." graced tho same
memorable occasion. 1t is one Of the finest
the professor ever penned Mrs. Fannie KEN.
BILE commences a series Of autobiographical
papers, which, Of course, are very delightful.
William Everett has critical essay on
John Quincy Adams" and T.. $. Perry
an interesting sketch Of Victor Hugo.
Frederick Hudson" by Henry James,
Jr., is continued. Bayard Taylor gives very
readable article entitled Autumn Days in Wei
mar" "Tho Old Lobsterman," 10 one Of ]. T.
Trowbridge's characteristic poems, and the gen
iaI Mark Twain still chats about "Old Times on
the Mississ,ppi." The Creed Of FREQ Trade
is discussed by David A. Wells. Celia Thaxter
has . pretty "Song !" Dean Sage, "Ten Days
Sport on salmon Rivers" and Mrs. Piatt, The
Longest Death Watch" Tho editor, in his lit
erary review, thinks Tennyson's {" Queen Mary '
not successful in . dramatic or high poetical
sense, but an extremely interesting historical
romance, such as novel of SCOTS or Manzonis.
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1875-08-05

~&D@4AA AA0&
Ths Wnnington CcAnxnosA1 sass Maryland
can b fsdsseled" RsaesAf sp0 whas nsish-
bcf?ss zee ~ 1l1l6 nssds u IN
aoeivs purgs Of Dena1e 6o1n, administered
By hsr own ysomAnry. asd she viii BE- Ill right
Tbs OsunosEAcy win atts0fto hee health. Ven'
" ~ WA-kEksoN DssieevaL
Ths rsssnpaoa We Suggest frisad and broth
q, u oas which your own sditosiA articles 40
ocnpsnying the abovs, olsasly explain. 1t 10 to
redeem ~ State ffo0 Whst ~ Elktou Demo-
srat calls ''ths ring-1Asts0" Of Baltimore. "ths
oornozanta who pack conventions" by whose
action "3overnor 0roons was cheated aud Will
naaT. HAnEson swiAdlsd," Who have "dishoo-
ord" thAaS own city, ars - eurss 10 the Dsmo.
csaae party In Maryland" and who. having %
fastened upon baltimore. propose now 70 clutch
ths whole State. It does seem b NJ that re-
dsmpeoo was never mora urgently the nssd Of
eng sn3ssizg eoannawealth. taking yuar owl
description for our taxi, nsighbor.
Oddly enough, and with an Inconsistency whict
makes NJ. grin 10 witness it. the Dtnaocrat, whil'
hurting good round spthets-asserved, ws dar
cay, every one-at the vermin" who put uI
Carroll, and made him the nominee Of tn
ring -masters," CHEESE are the Democrats owl
words) proposes, nevertheless to support thei
nominee, to help make their "swindle" sue
osss, md to put tbs zeal OF approval on til
whole tactics Of the Ring. 1t believes Carroll
pure man, though, from its own account, whic
qaits exceeds in vigor Of language anything v
should hAvo dared to write, he 10 foisted upon
- candidate BY means that sre simply despic
BILE, and which, il he has grain Of discrimia
| ton, he knows are such. Gan II be possible tn
Mr.. Carroll can swim mp to the Governors ma
, sion On wave Of filth and be himself perfect
, clean Come, dear friend and brother, you ia
. we'll and act weakly. II your descriptions a
!. true, You are going In bad crowd when you r.
D after your Ring ticket" and Join hands wi
:, " vermin" 10 olect Il. D.. L.. .rH
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1875-08-05
A MANLY TONE IN THE EASTERN SHORE
pPEna

The vigorous manner In which the Democratic
newspapers Of the Eastern Shore describe the
means by which their State ticket was nominated
is an encouraging exhibition OF the developing
manhood and Independence OF the press The
Elkton Democrat denonnces the we'll laid plst"
by which the Ring succeeded, and ita readers
are given an opportunity to learn for themselves
the disgraceful character OF the proceedings al
Baltimore The Denton Journal was one of the
first to speak ont in condemnation OF the job and
the Centreyille Record declares it will mover
give its support and endorsement to the ring
who are controlling Maryland, and who manipu.
lated the present nominations. The Chester
town Transcript says Mr.. CAROLS nomination
has been brought about by \ gigantic combna-
ton to parcel out the offices, State Legislative
and county, for the present and future. The
Easton Star declares that this state of things
cannot last much longer "no party can stand
such strain and hve," while the Cambridge
Democrat and Herald says that tho politicians
have gone directly opposite to the wishes of the
people in nominating Carroll instead of Hsmi-
| ton.
These papers represent Democratic sentiment
in Cecil, Caroline, Queen Annes, Kent, Talbot,
and Dorchester counties, and constitute, indeed
the bulk OF the party press in those counties
while, proceeding to Wicomico, we find the East
ern Sh0re'naa saying that Mr. Carroll is in bad
company, and that !. s..i Net attempt to justify
the means by which he was nominated.
Such expressions, We repeat, testify to the
growth Of Independence in the newspaper press.
These seven journals speak out boldly because
the truth within them demands utter
ance. They honor themselves by not
taking the cowardiy course Of sup.
pressing the facts, or the dishonest one of mis-.
representing them. 1t is true that all the papers
quoted hoist the State ticket, and do not pro
pose to repudiate it, but this the bulk Of their
readers undoubtedly would demand of them,
and, after all, the readers OF = newspa-
per are entitled to = hearing when Its pub.
lie course is under consideration. II the
facts are stated the truth told. the case put be.
fore the people, the newspapers have at least
done a large part Of their duty, and displayed
an honorable and manly quality which digniies
the press and immensely increase, its value.
Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1875-08-05
From IsehObOt1l.
RELIGIOUS SERVICES ON sUNDAY-ADDREssEs AT
THE SURF HOUSE, SEASON OF BENEFIT TO MANY
HEALTH-sEKKERs.
Correspondence efths Commercial.

RELIGIOUS SERVICES ON suNDAY-ADDREssEs AT
THE SURF HOUSE, SEASON OF BENEFIT TO MANY
HEALTH-sEKKERs.
Correspondence erthe Commercial,
REnoBorH, DEL, August 2.
The religious services on the beach yesterday,
(sunday,) were Of very interesting character.
At 1917 O'Clock, Rev. Thos. Shippers Of the Phil
adelphia Conference, preached in the parlor Of
the Surf House to a crowded but attentive audi
ence, very impressive and practical sermon
full OF gospel truths, from the first verso OF the
9th Psalm. In the afternoon, at "a o'clock,
Rev. Mr.. Wallace OF Frederick, Md, preached IN
the grove, and vt 0, p. NJ, childrens meeting
was held in the large parior Of the Hotel on the
beach, under the directions OF VIM. J. Jones
ESQ, Of Elkton.
Mr.. Jones, in his opening remarks, said that
the impression prevailed to some extent thai
members Of churches who go to the seal foi
rest and quiet leave their religion at home and
that while this might be the case to some extent
ut fashionable resorts, he believed the great ma
jority Of those who visited Rehoboth desired te
act differently, and to cultivate Christian spirit
and to advance the cause Of the Redeemer. u
WAS for this object that these meetings were helt
and for the purpose Of impressing on the minds n,
Of the young the Importance OF early plety. Inc
speaker took up the international Sunday Schoo
lesson for the first Sabbath in August, explained
its meaning to the children, and asked them ques
tons In reference to the lessons, many OF whlcl
were answered very promptly and indicated thu
interest taken in these services.
| Short and appropriate addresses were also
made by Mr.. John Torbert, Of Elkton. Nj. Field
of your city, DR.. Watson, Superintendent OF the
Association, and Rov. Thos. Shippers, in the or
| der named.
Some beautiful pieces were sung by the Chi
| dren and audience, under the direction OF W. II
Jiio VI -~-1IsA~ IL
and were 80 highly appreciated by those presen
that they concluded to hold another childrenl
meeting at the same place on next Sabbath eve
ming.
The season, thus far, has proved beneicl4 t.
q great many who came here for rest and recre
alton. Quite number, who when they cam
here were weak and debilitated, have been great
ly benefited by the salt sea breezes, and til
ocean baths. REDE.