The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-01-21
How an Austin City Fashion Reporttr
Lived and Died.

(Ncv.) paper described the belle of the
masquerade ball in the following astound-
ing language: "The most gorgeous,
stunning, heightened, richest, fastest
classest, incest, or any other adjective for
costume in the outfit was that worn by
Miss frankie Clarke. She was the high
falutinist, gaycst, and galuscst dressed
gal in the room. She appeared as a page,
and she was page that no man would
leave any other, read. Both in costume
and action she was as perfect as big
sunt1owcr." A couple of days after the
appearance of the notice into the edito-
rial room of the paper stalked young
man. His brow was wrapped in thunder,
his body in suit of tweed, and his
hands claspcd big lump of hickory.
He pulled a paper out of his pocket, and,
pointing his finger to the paragraph,
said: 81 want ter see the man as wrote
that cre." IL am the individual" re-
piled the person. swat did yer go and
do it for, that's wat l want to known"
"Oh, because l thought you'd like to see
your girl made out one of the most be-
witChing females that was ever sent on
earth to keep Il man from his hash and
drive balmy sleep from his pillow"
"NOw, look here. Ever sence that was
published can't get word out of her.
She sets in front of the looking glass and
keeps gain on herself. and maxim
squint eyes at her dress, and puckerin'
up her mouth and actin as if she were q
blasted sight bettcr'n anybody else. l
want this ERE thing fixed or there'll he
a editors situation vacant" He looked
significantly at the club. For a moment
the reporter stood III profound thought;
then his face frightened and he said:
III fix it in next weeks paper. After
you've seen the next issue call and tell
me the result" The young man left. In
the next weeks paper appeared the fol-
lowing paragraph:
A Commemorative made a crave mistake in
our issue of last week. In our description of the
name Of Miss frankie Clarke for that of Miss
George Waller. Anyone who is acquainted with
the irst-namcd lady must have discovered the
error. 1t is true that she appeared for what was
intended as a page, but she looked good deal
more like boot black in hard luck. She is not
good looking, her actions were absurd and every
She thinks Of moving out of this community as
it's unapprcciativo. When she goes she will be
escorted out of the town by brass band. The
people of Austin will gladly miss her from among
them.
The next day the young man entered
the Office. In his hand he bore a rifle
and his belt was Ornamented with big
six-shootcr and tremendous bowie.
knife. He sailed up to the reporter. II
look warlike, don't l? don't feel a bit
like fightin', you bet. You jest oughter
hev seen her when she read that cOrrec.
ton. Why, she jest danced jig with
madness and she sot down and cried,
and then she come up and threw her
arms around my neck and said: Arthur,
do you love me.' You bet your best
bonnet on that said I. We'll, never
expect me to speak to you again if you
don't so and kill the Teller wat writ that
SANDER In course l promised.
And here am to kill you" He laughed
long and heartily. After a time he
quoted down, and the reporter said: 81
suppose, in order to make it all right he.
tween you and your girl, I've got to be.
come a corpse. I'll do it. Sit there q
minute, and I'll fix the business" He
sat down at desk and scrubbed away
for q few minutes, and then returned
with sheet of paper on which was
written:
OBrruAR1.-It grieves us to be compelled to
announce the sudden death of Mr.. Charles Keller,
the young and talented fashion editor. In 4
an estimable, accomplished and beautiful young
lady of this city, named Miss frankie Clarke,
Yesterday her betrothed called at this office and
asked for the author of the Islander. and when he
discovered him, shot him dead on the spot. This
paper will be unable to give fashion gossip here.
after. We find it impossible to fill the place lefs
man Of kindly heart, and could listen more at.
tentively to stale stories and drink more bad
whisky than any man in Austin, r. l. P.
"That's your sort" said the Infatuated
lover. That's the thing to T. Come
along, Mr.. Corpse, and hist a little light.
ming" The lady was satisfied when the
paragraph appeared in the next issue OF
the paper, her lover was regarded as q
hero, and the Austin paper ceased to give
reports of fashionable balls.