New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1875-06-19
A SHORT JOURNEY WEST,


IN THE WEST.
To the Editor Of The Frtbpnc.
SIR: There is no situation that pats humanity
undcr soa,owerfu microscope through car" on
long railway ronse II Il worse than gong to sea,
because board ship people rush to their state
rooms and in solitary gloom escape from too close con-
tact with mankind. But such boon Details the
"through passenger Publicity has marked him for its
own and the only he take is that OF keeping
as wary eye body else everybody else Is
keering him. What variety Of species IN the same
genus! There Is thc woman who drives you mad 10y
never being dcOmpcsed In either manner or dress her
hair smooth though 1t had been roped her face
Is as clean though cn1crs and dus were an unknown
quantity; her boots and gloves rev; they Mt SO
perfectly you quite her feet and hands were
No urcd into them She is without wisdom in being
ben cha,see ben contee. When people have moth
ing TO d. think about they reduced to cnren
ties Are not hands and feet extrcmiiiesf
But when this immediately -attrrd woman emeiges
from her section after sieepless nights Journey as
calmly unrumpled her first appearance endurance
ceases 10 be n virtue She is q reproaoh to earth ana
man. People have business 10 so through lie with
out coming In contact with it, The immaeu!ateyatureo
woman has wrinkles. She never Will nave Sue
sheds feelings precisely she sheds duet They slide Oh
her. don't approve OF her at ALL pus 40 WEI Wy
boots and gloves looked Like hers!
Then there is the frowsy woman The longer she
travels the more scratched mp her general appear
ance Her children. between the ages OF three ana
seven browse upon everything in general making hsh'
hideous bycrying and day hdcous by permcatns tho
atmosphere with their uneasy selves Her husband
wears paper collars puts his boots on in pubic, ana
reads violently illustrated papers.
Once upon a time one eTasshopper was known to sill
upon a sour apple Now esons sit upon everything
There Is not Western board our tram that mas
not erasshoppers on the The more excited the
conversation. the more numerous thoy become until
sce them in my minds eve marching down
broadway Ike Birnam's Wood, mounting the
City Hall cupola, and fngns their green nag L" inc
breeze. d" In my county OF Jackson says Missourah
"they'ye Just eaten up everything. Tine farlncrS III
DESPERATION made raid on the provision stores
What with These grasshoppers. the buffalo gnai ana
hard times generally, IT'S enough to make man set 10
digging his own grave"
"Much the papers know about grasshoppers' says
another "Ihcy declare that the frost Kills inc eggs
Now know that the frost doesn't do anything OF the
nort Last Winter tho ground frozen deeper than
ever knew 1t to be. Vel. dug up "a bit IN when
rrssbopper eggs had been deposited PUT it under glass
subjected il TO continuous heat, and you never behed
lyeier insects than were Matched from those eggs
saw this myself, and seeing is believing
"They are high-toued gentlemen they are" eNciaims
third they always respect the place Of their naiiv-
tty Not n green thng will they touch until they've given
A. wido berth Then they'll fall upon whatever they
can dexour"
al have inst returned from Kansas" remarks hand
sone New Yorker, g" and not one intelligent account
hoppcrs came from tho desert sands others were
That they came from forests; Others again
that they were the product OF the Rocky Noun
tains Equally unanimous were people ON the subject OF
their flying The grasshppper can't fly more thdn 200
feet without alightng. asserted some. Nonsense!
they Cali fly two miles cried the opposition. All
know that they have succeeded in crossing the MIS-
sInri River and have injured trade by their travel
ing ensies that everybody but themselves stays NJ
home They have not literally eaten up the rails O" our
road but they might well have done So for whenever
we have passenger nowadays, he is an invited guest
The only moral draw from this unnteg1be aiiieuon
Is that smallest creatures have in their power to
do the greatest mischief As there more small cfei-
lures the world than big perhaps that il the reason
why human ocusts eat up many green things in the
shape OF unsuspectiDg and women If consolation
can bc extracted from this moral fail to percevcit
Grasshoppers drowned in tho thunder oil gong
What railroads to the Chinese for having III
vented this divnoly -attuned Instrument We have
twenty minutes for dinner. We all rush We cliiDp
stairs and them read the painted warning, DO not
sit the stairs! This is adding insult to injury Who
with an abhorrcd Of stomach, and only twenty
minutes TO fill ii. wants TO Sit on s;dirSf III
In bad enough TO sit down on hard chairs,
before n hard table, and bo asked by hard
faced maiden whether wen have beef or porkf NO
bouion no delicious bread, no good butter no well
made Coffee such make travelling on the Continent
OF Europe as endurable railroad travelling can be-
The meat arrives against the grain the vegetables
arc too Old or young, too much cooked or not
enough. and the American public fall back ON their
grand corps de rcSerpe-Pe Why won't the graSshop-
peIs kindly eat up all the cooks sent us hy the Evil One
and then why won't the women OF America found Oh
l1ge OF Cookery The National stomach is becoming de-
,noralzcd by bad food. demorazed stomach bcgets
demoialized brain. demorazed brain means muir
der. theft arson and general breaking OF the ten
commandments I'd rather be a good cook than good
poet good cook is worth her weight IN gold ana
moth i'm M lii
cooks.
But to grasshoppers railroads, and cookery
Here we are In Cleveland. and pretty place IL is, In
spite OF winds Lake Erie that sometimes scalp YOU
a. neatly as a Sioux the path. There is enough
wealth III Cleveland TO give every author In the world
handsome income for ife and provide every authors
Wifi with perennial b. ougham One magnato inspired
the Western Union Telegraph, and lays out line park
which beneoently throws open to the public Another
magnate is the genius of Lake Shore; third controls
iron works, and is as good fellow as though
he were on small salary and might he discharged at the
end OF the year; fourthbut never mind. The aver
age human intellect cannot grasp much capital and
retain its equilibrium. Letus turn 10 Euclidaye miles
in length destined when properly paved to be one
Of finest streets in the country. Here you soc
theater building, owned by stockholders and to be
under the control Of John Eser, IT,. manager OF the
present heaer which neither worthy Of him nor OF
90 cultivated community. The building will cost
$3.50 expected to be ready for In Septem
Der The stage is "a feet wide aud 81 feet deep The
auditorium will seat about 1900. Every provision
seems to have been made for comfort and
proper ventilation. and for the first time In
its history Cleveland will have appropriate temple
OF the Muses. What most interests lie In Cleveland,
apart from its charming and is the progress
made in the establishment Of cheap restaurants
for the poor. About year ago an article on Holly
Tree appeared In THE TRIBUNE written with the
hope attracting the attention Of Temperance leagues
that were then waing war against liquor saloons New