Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1875-02-05
Josh Billings.

|
Pills will sometimes act on the liver, bu
: saving wood alwuss does it.
think the best way to go thru this
world il to go backward; yu kant see ahe6
if yu try ever so hard.
He Who leads a life of pleasure sows
wheat and reaps tares.
About one half the folks go thru life az
drlft-Wood floats on the surface of the
stream, without knowing OF caring much
Where they are going to land.
Politeness, even when it iznot the result
ov emmy real goodness ov heart, il an agree
able fraud.
There seems to be a difference between
the foolish and the Wize: the phoole kan
deceive themselves, but they kant deceive
others; the wize kan deceive others but
kant deceive themselves.
Thare IL no one more often wrong than
the one who thinks he il alwuss right.
| 1t is very eazy to mistake ceremony for
politeness, and the vulgar are alwuss MAX
! ing the mistake.
Truth is skarse, there is very little of it
ennyhow in this world; thare il not more
than one thing out ov ten that we think or
do that liz true
| DON'T be afrade ov a SANDER; if it amt
true, it won't hurt you; if it il tru it amt
a SANDER.
A kind hearted person il necessarily po-
lite, even if he il az rude az boor :
| kno sum very intelligent people who
are insufferably vain; this il the most
strange contradikshun in human natur
Trieing to do what natur never designed
us for IL the source ov menny mortifika-
shuns and failures. Thus we see sum in
the pulpit who ought to be in shumaker's
stall, and others disgracing the bench who
would be ornaments in butcher shops.
Crate welth il certainly the poorest leg
acy yu kan leave your children. Yu had
better leave them destitute.
Inever knew four-legged dog to desert
man in his hour ov misfortune, but have
often known the two-legged kind to do it.
The recipe for making good proverb
iz;.take one gallon of truth and bile it down
to pint.
There is more real happiness in refusing
our wants than gratifying them.
The price Of being pitfed is to be dispiz-
ed.
Even mule has got head on the end
oY his body. .
. Friendship are like mummy one respect
it is easier to make them than to keep
them
One half the trouble of life can be traced
to not saying."no," at the right time.
Men never forget the favors they bestow
upon others, and seldom remember those
they receive.
1t man is natural nowadays he is
charged at once with being eccentric or
silly.
The man whom prosperity makes haugh-
ty adversely il sure to make a groyelling
coward ov.
am violently opposed to betting, but if
| do bet l am in favor of winning.
There IL no great danger of too menny
getting Janus: there il too much jealousy
among mankind for that.
Pashunce is like kastor lie; it is one
thing to preskiibe it and it is another thing
to take it.
No man kan get me to keep sekret for
him. had rather hold mule for the
same length of time.
Every man has a right to pix out hiz
own plum, hiz own hash, and his own phys
lex
We are all of rs brought up to think that
mummy IL the chief end OF man, and when
at last we find out our mistake it liz too late
to rectify it.
If our Saviour and the god Hercules
should appear upon earth again together,
which do you suppose would have the most
followers
About the only difference between phil
osopher and a phool IL that the philosopher
cooks all the evils of life before he partakes
Of them the phool eats them raw.
There seems to me just this difference
between honor and honest-honor liz the
ov courage: honesty is the bravery
Ov principles