Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-08-26
M,sceIIaneous.

coffin Is wanted for dying echo. /
The Troy goats have taken to eat
ing newspapers off front stoops.
When a man has house lot on
which he cannot pay the taxes ne has
a site too much.
Why is dew like falling starr
One is mist OF earth, and the other
missed from heaven.
Why is solar eclipse like a wo-
man whipping her boy? Because iSs
hiding of the sun.
What is the difference between the
North and South Pole. Ali the oii-
ference in the world.
WHY have chickens no hereafter;
Because they have their necKs t"lrieo
(next world) in this.
When will there be only twenty
five letters in the alphabet? When
YOU and | are made one.
Why is lawyer like a restless man
in bed? Because he first lies on one
side and then on the other.
"Mother-in-law is the name of a
new mixture of ale. 1t is old and
bitter, and comparatively few can
swallow it.
These are cooler nights, and most
people who sit on the piazza till late
in the evening conclude that ids
aboud tibe to ged idside ad go do
bed.
sMy face is rugged, but Pm wealthy
will YOU have me?" SAID he. "Yes
indeed; it's knotty but it's nice,
said she.-,St. Louis Globe Demo
crdt.
"Ma," said small boy, approach
ing his mother and exhibiting unmls
taxable symptoms of severe pain
in the bowels, 'do green apples gro"
in heaven~
An innocent young man from Kus
ticitv who entered a South street
drug store as clerk last week, was
heard to ask a young party who
called for soda water what kind o.
seasonin' they'd have!
A Catskilll exchange says: "Thert
isn't any Overlook House now, but
man keeps a shanty up there ant
charges twenty-five cents for lemon
AIDES, and he's about as near HEAVIER
as he will ever get"
A somewhat illiterate Thomas stree
woman, having read in poem abou
a simeon that ''swept the plains, /
urging her husband to get one O. then
new tangled things for her to use II
her kitchen.
A lady correspondent who assume
oknow how boys ought to be trained
writes as follows: "Oh, mothers
hunt ont the soft, tender, genial sid
of your boys nature" Mothers oil
ten do-with an old shoe.
An awful fate has overtaken Tex
as lawyer. The Bonham Ente'Prts
saws: Joe Dupree made his frs
speech on Tuesday, assisting Capt
Sims in the prosecution OF Alex
Rodgers. The jury sentenced hin
to be hanged"
The newspapers state that well
known banker of Paris has abscond
ed, leaving a deficit behind. Mrs
Partington thinks that it was yer
good for the poor man to leave i
when he might have got off clear wit
everything.
Little Alice was crying bitterly
and, on being questioned, confesse
to having received slap from one {
her playfellows. "You should hav
returned it." unwisely said the quei
tioner. ''Oh, / returned it before,
said the little girl.
Kingston girls are opposed to il
Producing the letter-carrier system
that city. "The idea" says one
them, ''of having letters left at I'll
house! Then we can't go to the pO
office, and won't have any excuse IL
going down town. Rome Sentine
A boy in the suburbs tried to asce
tain the other day the soundness
the proyerb: "Birds of feather foe
together" He plucked the old roo
ter down to a single tail feather, an
it didn't flock at all, but went an
hid under the barn. Thus is anotl
er old saw smashed.