The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1875-08-16
Items of Interest.

II you have nothing, and your girl has notlll6'
Don't be in haste to we'd;
For nothing and nothing mako nothing,
And nothing won't chew like bread.
A Minnesota woman killed eighteen
bushels OF grasshoppcrs i'll one week, AMI
got one dollar bushel.
Married people will havc no difficulty
in getting along well il they always
keep two bears in the Eousc-bcar and
forbcar.
Ineycr place much reliance on man
who is always telling what he would have
done had lie been there. 1hayc noticed
that somehow this kind OF people never
get there.
The custom of remaining uncovered
in church commenced about the begin
ming of the seventeenth century. All
order to that effect was issued soon
after the accession of james l., in 1908.
The longest night in Norway lasts
three months, and when n young man
goes to see his girl, her mother, before
retiring, tells her not to ruin her health
by sitting up more than than two months.
A lady having been ordered by her
physician to n warmer climate, her hus-
band remarked that if there was warm
or climate than he had been living i'll
since his marriage ho was not aware OF
it.
An explosion lately occurred at the
pyrotcchnic school III Toulon, which
killed three officers. A drop Of pcrspira-
ton, falling on matter that is not explO-
sivc, except in contact with water, was
what did it.
John (who has been carrying on this
sort of thing for about seven years.
ado you know, Mary, l really think We
ought to be settling down shortly. What
do you say, now, if We arrange for about
say two years timel"
Tho humorist OF the Detroit Free
Press is TO bring ont book, and his
enemies, If he has any, arc rejoicing.
The Providence Press thinks that "Dicd
of funny book-Gono to meet tho
Danbury Ncws man" will 10 for his
cpitaph.
Student of history" Professor, aro
kings and queens always the highest! ?"
Professor" Certainly, why do you ask
such II nonscnsieal question:" Student
-"Becauso | noticed that in game Of
railroad euchrc, the joker - ProGcS-
sor-"Lcavc tho room, sir
"Jcssie, what was Joo's arms doing
round your waist when you were Mt tho
front gate last night 7" asked II prGcociOus
boy Of his sister. ellis arm wasn't
round my waist I won belt from him,
and he was taking my measure" replied
the indignant young Indy.
A minister, while marrying Il couple
of his rustic parishioncrs, felt exceed
ingly disconnected, on his asking tho
bridegroom ii hO wcro willing to tako
the woman for his welded wife, by his
scratching his head and saying: "Ay.
I'm wullin'; but I'd rather hae her sis
ter"
"My DEAR" inquired young wife of
her husband, rs she reached up her lit
tie mouth to be kissed on his return
from business, shave you seen the mag
niticout set of walnut furniture whicl,
tho Jenkinses have Just bought."
Hem, no, my love; but have seen tho
bill, which quite satisfies me"
At st. John, N. D., well-lrcsscd
woman entered store and paid for
butter tub which she had bought thirty
years before. She had paid for tho but
ter at the time OF purchase, and promised
to pay for or return the tub, but neglect
ed to do either. For thirty years her
conscience troubled her about tho mat
ter, and Mt last drove her to payment.
"Do you get oil hcre?" asked tho
purscr OF the steamer City OF Newport
of Il lady, rs the boat was within two or
three hundred rods Of Bullock's point,
Tuesday afternoon. "No," sl.c re-
spondcd, and Just as the purser WAS
about to tell her that she would have 10
buy return ticket she continued: "I
get of when the boat reaches the wharf.