The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-07-17
VARIETY.

VARIETY.
A young student of quiet disposition wants
TO :. get bored in private family"
At recent meeting of society in New York,
composed of men from the Emerald Isle, mem
her made the following motion go Mr. President
move that we whitewash the ceilin' green, in
honor of the old flag
When a negro woman on Levee street was in
formed the other day, by meandering reporter,
that the price of sea-liOns had increased Is per
cent. during the present month, she elevated her
hands and exclaimed 90 De Laud only knows
what is to become of poor folks Seems zif de
more We work dc oftener the white folks Fz de
pricedn nessHmsaries of life.''- Ecksburg Herald
GETTING SETTLED" How do you like your
new placer inquired a gentleman of friend
who moved of of Multet street, recently % Wall,
10 was purity lonesome like for n while, - was the
answer, g but my wife is getting to jaw around
kind o natural like, and it begins to seem like
home
- Going to leave Mary2'' Yes, mum find
l am very discontented.'' - If there is anything
Z can do to make@you more comfortable, let me
know" ' No, mum, it impossible. You can't
alter your fgger no mOre'n I can. Your dresses
won't fit me, and L can't appear on Sundays as
used to at my last place. where missus's clothes
fitted zactly.'
An old Highlandcr, rather fond of his toddy,
vas ordered by. his physician, during a temporary
Illness, mo- to exceed one ounce of spirits daily.
The old gentleman dubious about the
amount ard asked his son, school boy, how
much an ounce was. "Saxteen drams," was the
reply. 's Sixteen drains An excellent doctor!'
replied the Highlander. 80 Run and tell Donald
McTayish and big John to come down TO night"
We rather coincide with him-that man in
Nebraska, who dropped two cents worth of mail
matter in the Post Office box, and had to pay six
cents to do il, and who then went over and stood
bv one of the windows, and said a. May Hanni-
bal Hamlin, of Maine, have the bilious collie, the
ague, the gout, the jaundice, corns, bunOns,
bOils, and the buckwheat scratches from this day
noon for the next fifty years to cOme' Mr.
Hamlin is mainly responsible for the extra postage
extortion passed by the last Congress.
lady once consulted DIR. johnson on the de-
gree of turpitude to be attached to her sons
robbing al orchard. '' Madam said johnson,
a. it all depends upon the weight of the boy. 1
remember my sehoclleIlow, David Garrick, who
was always little fellow, robbing dozen Or
chards with impunity but the first time
climbed mp an apple tree-fOr / always was
heavy boy-the bough broke with me, and it was
called Judgment. suppose that is why justice
is represented with pair of scales -
A LITTLE IHP-This must have set him think
ing. \ lady sitting in her parlor, and engaged
in the dreamy plation of the moustache of
the yOnng gentleman who, on very short acquain-
ts8ee, had become very much smitten with her
sister, and was then waiting for her to dress that
awakened by stage whisper by Juvenile MEM
ber of the family, who stood timidly in the open
door, - You've got AIMS teeth, and she wants
them -
While stopping over night at farmhouse in
Missouri a traveller astOnished to see his
hostess walk up to her husband about every hf-
teen minutes and box his ears or give his hair
pull In the morning the guest, seeing the
woman alone, asked explanation of her
strange conduct, and her reply was :" You see,
stranger, me and the old man has been fghtin'
for ter years to see who should boss this ranch,
and I have Jest got him cowed, but if / should
let UP on him for day be would turn on me
again, and all my work would go for nothing"
The Rev Mr. Williams, the ancient pastor at
Dudley, n man of gOdly good sense. One
sultry Summer day, when midway in his sermon,
a rumble of distant thunder heralded the ap-
proach of a shower Suddenly the preacher
stopped, and, peering from side to side through
the church windows, as il observing the tokens
of a change in the weather, quietly said
Brethren, observe that our brother Crosby is
not prepared for the rain. | think it our duty
to help our brother Crosby get in his hay before
the shower" With that be descended from the
pulpit, and with several of his hearers proceeded
to Mr. Crosby's bayfield,, where they worked
half an hour, until the hay was housed. The
staunch old clergyman then returned to the
church resumed his discourse, never emitting
point from firstly to ffteenthly, and finally dis
missed his congregation, doubtless with a conTlc-
ton OF duty We'll ana tnOrOuSnly uOne-DOStON
GLOBE.
The Richmond Christian Adrooate dislikes in
terludes. Its feelings it expresses thus: A
preacher gives out Watts glorious hymn
Come, Holy Spirit, Heavenly Dove y
The organ starts the prelude is well enough
all are ready, the congregation join with the
choir the music thrills every heart, and the first
stanza closes; and then we have hop, skip and
lump BY the organ, called an interlude.- This is
the way it goes:
g Come, Holy Spirit, Heavenly Dove,
With all thy quickening powers:
KindIe a hsme Of sacred love
these cold hearts Of ours"
dee dun deee, doodle de dun,
fum-fal, de rsteduu.
Go the ant, for poor grain,
See how they toll and strive
Yet, e who have a Heaven q obtain
How negigent we live ~
R-r-r-r-rep, rep, rup, b-O-o-3-n-R.
Rundy y-ting tong teB toong,
Sweep, e-e-d-ed-a-a-h--o-h, ...~ -.-
Now, we do not do this to ridicule; We write
Just what we often feel during these interludes.
They coRpIAely change the current OF devotion
and destroy the effect of the singing. solemn
hymn is often ruined by an absurd interlude