The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-03-27
Clothes Pins.

| Ladies who have husbands who are
tneelecttul in supplying them with kind
lings should carefully study the expert
ence of q Ninth-street sister. All her
married life she has had an nnbroken
struggle with her husband to keep her.
self supplied with wood, and the greater
part Of the time she has been obliged to
depend upon her own deftness with the
ak. and any one who has seen woman
handle an ak knows what a dreadful
thing it is.
Two months ago she begged of him not
to 60 away without leaving her some
kindlings. He said ne wouldn't. But he
finally did. Then she hit upon a plan.
She had four dozen clothes pins. She
took one dozen Of them for starting the
fire, and found that they worked admira-
bly,. The next day she used another
dozen, and so she continued until the
four dozen were gone. Then she went
to the store and purchased another four
dozenShaving them "put in the BILL"
When they were gone she repeated the
errand. She said no more to him about
kindlings. For ten years she had kept
up the battle, and now she was tired and
sick at heart. He could go his own way,
and she would 60 hers--patiently, I'M
complainingly-until the end would
come.
On Monday he signified at the store
that he would like to settle his account.
The bill was made out and handed him.
He glanced down the items. As he ad-
vanced along the column his face began
to work. First his eyes slowly enlarged,
then his mouth gradually opened, caused
by the dropping OF his lower jaw; and
wrinkles formed on his forehead. One.
third down the column he formed his
lips as if to whistle. -Four lines below
he did whistle. Half way down he said
"Gra-ciOusp'
A little further on he said:
.sThunderp
Four more lines were taken in, and he
spoke again:
sBy the Jumping Jupiterw
Then he read on. smitlng his thigh Wig
orously, and giving vent to various ex-
pressiOns of the liveliest nature. Finally
he threw the bill down.
II say, Benson, look here; this bill
can't be mine; you've got me mixed uD
with some laundry."
"rhats your bill, sir, }" said the grocer,
smiling pleasantly.
II tell you it can't be,n persisted the
Ninth street man, beginning to look
scared. "Why, here's tiity-fve dozen
clothes pins in a two months'. bill. What
Oh 6hT Ill uO yOQ tdhC A1O AO4-6 AOul-
story laundryr
"But it is your bill. Your wife can. ex-
plain it to you. She ordered the pins"
"My wiie9' gasped the unfortunate
man.
Eyes, STRIP
The debtor clutched the bill, jammed it
into his pocket, and hurried straight
home. He bolted into the house without
any abatement oi speed, and fhngIng the
paper on the table before his wife, he
knocked his hat on the back OF his head,
and said:
"Martha Ann Johnson, what does this
mean? There are filty-fve dozen clothes
pins in Benson's bill for the past two
months, and he says you ordered every
blessed one Of them"
"And 80 did," said she, demurely.
"W -h-a-t! Fifty-tive dozen clothes pin
in two monthsp' and he shot down into
chair as II freight-car had fallen atop
Of him. ''Fiity-five dozen clothes pins In
two MONTHS" he howIed. "Will a just
heaven stand that?"
IL tell you, you needn't stare at me
that way, Reuben Wheeler johnson, nor
go calling onto heaven with your impi-
BUSINESS. ordered them clothes pins
myself, and i have burnt every one of
'em in that there stove, just because you
were 100 allnfeQ lazy 10 get SUCK or
wood. And I deolare, before I'll be
bothered jawing and fighting to get you
to cut-wo0d, Pll burn up every clothes
pin In the land, and you shall pay for
them, if you have to sell the shirt on
your back to do it. So noww
And Mrs. johnson, with face like
scarlet, snatched up the broom, and weft
to sweeping the carpet as If: every fake
Of dust was red-hot COAL while the un-
happy Mr.. johnson hastened to the store
and paid the bill. And before dark that
night he had a halt-cord Of wood sawed,
split and piled up ready for use.
Isabelle, the flower girl Of the Paris
Jockey Club, has just been sued by her
mother to obtain an alimentary allow
ance. The plaintiff, poor peasant wo.
man and widow, named Briant. is quite
<,iriot, IN at q ytaua hor mamma boA