Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-11-04
Splitting Wood.

YES, sir, [ can split wood without
splitting my head open, and I pride my
self on the fact, woman though | am |
tried it the other day, and I'll tell you just
how [ did it.
| was expecting John home little ear
lier that night so [ determined to have
some nice spring chicken broiled just to
a turn ready for him when he came. All
went very well until, just as the crisis
came in the broiling Of this chicken, I
discovered that the wood was out What
| should do? If | waited till John came
the chicken would be quite spoiled. There
were no street boys III our well-ordered
village to be hired, and | just picked up
the ak and walked out to that wood pile
Mr.. Watkins, the bald-headed bachelor
across the way, was sitting on his porch
reading his newspaper, but [ didn't care
I'd just show him what woman could
do; maybe he'd be sorry that he hadn't a
nice, smart wife like Johns.
picked out nice, straight maple stick,
and leaned it UP against another stick, Just
as I'd seen John do, and then [ actually
laughed at the idea that woman couldn't
split wood. placed the tip of one of my
toes against the stick, arranged my dress
gracefully (pull-back dresses are handy on
such occasions) and then, taking hold of
the extreme end of the handle, | raised
the ak high over my head and brought it
down with all my might, the blade strik-
ing-not the stick, but beyond if. Oh! oh!
how my hands did sting
rolled them up in my apron for few
minutes, and after struggling a moment to
keep back the tears l took up the ak and
went at it again.
This time took hold of the handle
nearer down to the blade, and when
came to bring down TIE ak | remembered
my former experience. | hesitated lust
half second before letting the ak strike.
Fatal hesitation! 1t turned the ak
hairs breadth, and it glanced off the side
of the stick and struck deep into the soft
earth. | wasn't prepared for this, and.
losing my balance, over | went head fore
most, stick and all. | can't tell exactly
how | landed, l scrabbled up so Quick
but when l glanced at Mr.. Watkins he
lodged his head behind his paper, which
shook visibly.
never did like Mr.. Watkins, ANYHOW,
though he and John are great friends. 7
think it would have looked much better
for a single gentleman like him to have
come and offered to split the wood him
self than to sit there and smoker behind
his paper
| always did have contempt for bache-
lors' opinions, so I just turned my back
on Dir. Watkins, placed my stick in a
new position, shut my teeth hard and
no, l didn't, though. There was clothes
line just behind, which | had not noticed:
my AK caught in this and jerbed me back
ward over big chunk, the ak falling al
most in my face. There was sharp
twinge in my back and a buzzing in my
head, so l laid quite still, until I was
startled by the strained voice of dear
John: .. #a
Mollie, Mollie, are you hurt?"
He picked me up in his great strong
arms and carried me into the house. I
wasn't hurt very much after all, but l had
| good cry on Johns shoulder, and ever
since that I've had whole wood house
full of nicely-split wood always on hand.
If a woman can't do thing one way she
can another.