Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1875-04-22
Newspaper Subscribers.

come the
UPBIGIiTs-TLese are men who take
newspaper, pay for them, and read them.
Observe the order in which these things
are done: The pay comes 6rSt-the REQ.
ding next. These men consider they get
the worth OF their money in the bargain.
1t seems as fait and just to them that the
newspaper should be paid for as barrel
of sngar or new coat. They never en-.
tertain any other opinion. When the
year runs out, or little before, they are
on hand with the pay, There is no more
difficulty with them iu remembering this
period, than Sunday or the first of Jan.
uary. If. one of them wishes to stop his
paper, he either calls or writes letter BY
his postmaster, like man. This class is
dear to the heart of the editor. Their
image is embalmed in his warm affections.
May they live thousand years, and see
their sons sons to the fourth generation.
The second class now in mind is the
Do WELLs.-This class is nearly re-
lated to each other-so near, that it is
hard to tell where one begins and the
other ends. These men always pay in
advance in the beginning, and intend to
do 50 continually. But memory fails d
little, or some mishap intervenes, and the
times runs by-sometlmes httle-some.
times quit period. But their rocollec>
tion, though nodding occasionally, never
gets sound asleep. Itpronounces the word
in due time "The printer is not paid y
forthwith their will to do we'll kindles
into activity. Now comes the paying up
-"Meant to do 50 before. Don't mean to
let such things pass BY" A publisher
can live with such men. They have a
warm place in his memory-only little
back of the Up rights. If such man
dies in arrears, bis wife or son remembers
that he might not have paid up for his
newspaper, aud forth with institutes in-
quiries. They remember that part Of the
benefit was theirs, and, estate or no es-
tate, see that the printers bills are not
among their fathers unsettled accounts.
Next come the
EASY DoERs.-These men believe in
newspapers. They have fully settled in
their own minds that newspaper is a
good thing. They take them, too. Some
times at the first they pay up for the first
year-at any rate they mean to, pretty
soon. II they have done so. they sit
down with the comforting conviction that
their newspaper is now settled for and
this idea having once got into their heads
refuses obstinately to be dislodgcd, but
keeps its holding from year to year,a truth
once-now an illusion gray and rheumatic
with years. The editor, marking the ell
ongated and elongating space in the ac-
counts current of their dollars, begins to
ask if they are dead or have gone to Cali,
fornia. Now he begins to poke bills at
them. They suddenly start up to the
reality that they are in arrears; and,
like men, as they are at the bottom, pay
up. They never dispute his bills-they
know books tell better stories than moss
covered memories. If the publisher has
faith enough, or long purse. and can
live like a alternating bear, he may sur.
vive this class. But il be is q mortal
only, woe be to him. The next class is
that of the
| Down HILLERs.-Here we begin to
slide over to the other side. The picture
suddenly gets sombre. We shall dis
patch the Down Killers suddenly. One
of these may take paper because bis
wife wants one, or the children are ZEAL
Gus to read it, or a neighbor persuadcs
him. When it Legins to come, he DIS
misses all thoughts about it further, il the
editor sends man directly to him at the
end of two or three years. he may get
some pay for his paper, with growls and
surly looks. He never pays any debts il
be can get rid Of it, aud a newspaper
least of all. Still, he hates lawsuits,
constables, and all that. A dun has the
samc effect ou him that bullet has on a
hippopOtamus-glauciug from his hide
or sinking in the blubbler harmless. He
is always sliding down bill, and soOn mer
ges into another class. Of
The Nix Gun RousE.-No matter
how this man began his subscription, b,
never pays for it--not he. 'He dom
like that sort Of paper. 1t don't Civ,
news. lie never did like il. He didn'
want it in the srst place, aud told th,
postmaster so. he sent back one NOR,
than a year ago-besides, he never begal
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