Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-10-09
Editorial Brevities.

into fashion This novel wedding takes
place when the first born is old enough
to spank.
Jno. n. Opie, Esq, announces him.
self asa candidate for theVirginia House
of Delegates, from Augusta county.
Lieut.. E. Richmond, of the United
States army, of Libertytown, Frederick
county, Md, has been detached from
the army and made professor of military
science and tactics at the WestVirgiaia
University. ~-f .rl.re l'
The SSth session of the Synod of
Virginia will commence in Staunton on
Wednesday, the goth of October 1t
contains 10 presbyteries, with 200 min
listers, 26S churches, aud 20,959 COM
| municants.
The New York Herald reports good
sleighing in the neighborhood of Mon
treal.
If you are troubled with Indigestion,
Dyspepsia or Loss of Appetite, "Dr.
| Wade's LIVER Corrector" will cure you.
'Mary, why did you kiss your hand
to the gentleman opposite'" asked
careful mother of her blooming daught-
er. "Why the gentleman had the i'm
pudencc to throw kiss clear across the
street to me, of course / threw it back
Indignantly You wouldn't have me
encourage him by keeping 1t, would
you?"
1t was not exactly bank failure in
San Francisco the other day. 1t was
the collapse of an inflated gambling
honse.
Maneuvering mosquitoes multiply mar
velously, meditating mischief; malicious
mosquitoes mercilessly maui mulutudes,
munching masters and misses.
If we had cheap telegraph rates
person living in Detroit could, for et-
teen cents, telegraph his mother in-law
in New York not to come-family got
the smallpox.
Economy is beginning to prevail
again. At funeral, Saturday, nine
men appeared with unblacked boot
heels. 4
There are some confding people left
in Troy. An apple woman in that city
will trust an alderman over Sunday for
fifty-fve cents worth of fruit, but it
may be added that she's around nigh
ty early Monday morning.
81 lived with him nineteen years,
says an Indiana applicant for divorce,
"and all the clothes he ever bought me
was bunch of hair pins and tooth
brush" You can see by this what a
hard time she had to keep well dressed.
"How much is metre?" asks
Cleveland paper. Wait till the gas man
comes around-hell give you liberal
figures. . .fl.-..
If young ladies wish to get stout they
should eat their food slowly. Haste
does not make waist in such cases.
1t is said that at one OF the Virginia
watering places there are just now,
twenty lady visitors who weigh over
two hundred Suppose they were TO
engage in an old Virginia breakdown
all at the same time, how much would
you take to be under that ball room
without the privilege of saying your
prayers.
An Indiana man said to Bible
agent: "I'm a Christian, but I'll be
blamed if don't have to grit my teeth
when the Ohio river is on aleve with
the top of my corn"
When a New York newspaper calls
John Morrissey thief, and word comes
that John has entered the front door,
the rush for the fire escape beats the
retreat from Bull Run.
"What object do you see" asked the
doctor. The young man hesitated for
a few moments, and then replied: 1T
appears like jackass, doctor, but l
rather think it is your shadow"
The Marshall Messenger regretfully
remarks: "One by one the old pio-
neers of our country pass away" But
this is not so sad as if they were to pass
away two by two, or three by three.
The popular young man is he who
gallants all the young ladies; but just
| let him tie himself to one young dam
sci, to whom he pays all his attentions,
and he becomes one of the most dis
agreeable of fellows, and they don't like
him bit. He is perfectly horrid.
They say that the ladies now propose
a style of dress sprinkled profusely with
lions, tigers, panthers, grifiins, monsters
and chimeras dire. They cant frighten
the men away with any such triaes as
these.
Put both of your loves! limbs into
one leg of your panteloons, take the
other leg, roll it into bunch and tie it
behind you; then try to walk. That
will teach you how nice and comforta-
BILE an ultra pull-back dress is.
You can family imagine the feelings
of the Michigan man who cut big
piece of meat from his leg thinking
rattlesnake had bitten him, and then
found out that it was bee sting.
A somewhat young woman, seventy
eight years old, become tired of life The
other day and hung herself to bed
post with corset We always thought
corsets were unhealthy - especially
when worn about the neck. 4
1t would be most happy arrange