, 1875-05-30
HUAIOR.

It appears that coming copper Is not prodta-
ole. The Government has not made halt-caut
| siuca 1857.
What is the difference batwean tha Emperor
williams ch1onometer and , biil-possax? Ona
IL Bulls ticker. and tha other billsticker.
4 certain Western editor. Who WA presented
| with I box of collars in pay for IN advertise
neut, is waiting IN daily expectation that somo
one viii present hlna with shirt
Take Life easy; and don't always BE- tying to
beat the Gun up. You may win for u while, bus
| in the long run you arc suro to be beaten, and
| aome morning it will rise when you don't.
He held tho old shirt up BY the nsak before
discazding it forever, but he wasn't mourning
for the garment. He only said tbusly: ..I wish
that old neckband!"
Agentlemsn adye1.isea his Willingness to ox-
change cork log for revolver. This is tbs
nearest approach to the old iaw Of reclamation va
havs aaen for long time It isn't m aye Cor an
eye-hut it'a leg for an arm.
4 literary ice-caxt driver, who haa basin ar-
moved BY children who have bsen in the dabit Of
IN. B.7 a. links thsy viii understand thst
that means "Take Not-icsi"
"Nov. my son," said Brooklyn father, taxa
this castor-ol, Or out you go through the win
dow" "Boo-hoohoo! 4" said the llttla man, af-
ter applying the polnt Of the spoon for mo-
nent 70 his lipa- :. lie can's take it, papa. Fo
me ont de- wlnner!"
Our confirmed massziallst psates that the dit-
ference between theology and science is, that
| ones ledgo and the others no ledge. f1f, as is
surrnised, the writer al1udes to .ta!lege" and
knowledge" than hays spelling g-natchas been
in rain.-tr. Der-l i:
Subject OF DiscuBBton-" Women's RiEh.s.~--
Youthful Enthusiast {whQ has had all tho talk
to himsalf)--"And now that have established
Yoaitior m n nnaHAxi14h1A taaf4 and
oughly refuted BY anticipation any poeAtbl9 ar-
gnment you might have brought to beRr on your
side Of the question: I viii aay good-by-for
have to catch train"
Two friends meeting after An absence Of rome
yea1a. during which siuae tho one had Increased
considerably in bulk, and the other still remained
the II efiey OF q m4n,"-said the etout geutle-
man, ''Why, Dick, you look ~ il you had not
b1d = dinner since saw you laat-" And
you" replied the other. LOOK ~ il you had
been at dinner ever since
Ono Of our physicans, who had been greatly
annoyed by numerous questions concerning thu
condtion Of q certain patient, WAS stopped,
while on his busy rounds, by u,an, With the old
question: "Hov's Mr.-?" "Siok," re-
Piled the physician; 4. Does he keep his bad -
''0f cou,so he does. You don't suppose has
tooi enough to seu bis bed because hos sick, do
you?"
Ssh dare some 1edder hare for ms :" inquired
German At tho general deliyery-window Of tho
Post Ofica yesterday. "No, mono here" vaa
the reply. vhsll. dot is queer" he continued,
getting hia head into tho window my nsi9h-
Dor gets sometimes d1ee letters in one day, und
get none. bays more taxes Is ha> does, und
hsf never got one 1edder yet How comes doso
dlng1 2"-Detroi Free Press.
miserab1y-shod tramp called upon Dan
bury family for IN old pair Of ehoes. Ths lady
Of the house gave him ehoe, observing: 'Iva
only pair 70 spare. I give yoa one, and will
keep the other for some other unfortunate who
may come along" The man dropped grateful
tear in baheH Of the other unfortunate, it u sup-
posed.-UanttTy Netox.
Young Covi!le MAS in tho hst-s.c1e With eoua-
panlon last evening. "Whst kind OF ha. do
You want. young mau,-soft or stin ?" inquired
The proprietor. Soft" said young Co7ille-
/" Why don't you sit stin 'un, Bill 2" Whispered
his surprised friend. "a atin uni" ejaoulased
Young CoviIle, staring contempsuoasly ut his
companion. San what kind Of chance do you
suppose I'd have for getting out ot tbs house
with sti1 bat under my jacket without ma SEQ:
ing it an naking ma coma back?" His tien6
wa4 silept.-ftid