Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-09-01

This is the season of the year when
a man may expect to be suddenly called
at any moment in the night to get up
and put down the windows. On the
advent of a thunder shower it Is rarely
that a man wakes first. If he should
he keeps quiet, so as not to disturb his
wife, and avails himself of the first lull
to 90 to sleep again. How differently a
woman acts-oh, so differently! just
as soon as she wakes up and hears that
ii is raining, she seems to lose all judg-
ment at once. She plants both her feet
into her husbands back, at the same
time catching him by the hair and
shaking his head, and Historically
screams-''Get up! get up, quick! It's
a pouring right down in torrents and
all the windows are upi"
He cannot wake up under such cir
cumstances with any Immediately clear
conception of the case; i'm fact, it fire.
quently happens that he is away out on
the floor before his eyes are fairly
opened, having but one idea really at
work, and that as to what he is doing
out of bed. The first thing to do is to
strike light, and while he is moving
around for the matches, and swearing
that some one has broken into the house
and moved them from where he laid
them on going to bed (Which is always
plausible enough). she hurls after him
the following tonics: "Do hurry!
Mercy, how that rain is coming into
those windows. We won't have a car
pet left if you don't move faster. What
on earth are you doing all this time?
Can't find the matches? Mercy sake!
you amt going to stumble round here
looking for matches, are you, when the
water is drowning us out? Go without
light. What man you are; l might
have better got up in the first place.
Well! (despairingly) let the things go
to ruin if you are a mind to. I've said
all Pm going to say, too, an 1 don't care
if the whole house goes to smash. You
always would have your own way, and
now you can do as you please; but don't
you dare to open your mouth to me
about it when the ruins done. I've
talked an talked till I'm tired to death,
and l shan't talk any more. We never
could keep anything decent, and we
never can; an so that's the end of it.
/ A very brief pause) John Henry, are
you, or are you not going to shut down
tntct NilluONs.
Just then he finds the matches, and
breaks the discourse by striking light.
He was bound to have that help before
he moved out of the room. He has got
the lamp lighted now. No sooner does
its glare fill the room than he immedi-
ately blows it out again for obvious
reasons. He had forgotten the windows
were open and the brevity of his night
shirt. 1t almost causes him to shiver
when he thinks of his narrow escape.
He moves out into the other room with
celebrity now. He knows pretty well
the direction to go, and when flash of
comes it shows him on the
verge of climbing over stool or across
the centre table. If there is rocking
chair in the house he will strike it. A
rocking chair is much surer i'm its aim
than a streak of lightning. 1t never
misses, and it never hits man in but
one spot, and that is at the base of his
shin. We have fallen against more
than 500 rockers of all patterns and
prices, and always received the first
blow in the one place. We have been |
with dying people, and have heard them |
affirm i'm the solemn hush of the last
hour, that rocking chair always hits a
man on the shin first.
And when a man gets up in the dead
Of night to shut down windows, he
never misses the rocking chair. 1t is
the rear end of one of the rockers that |
catches him. 1t is a dreadful agony.
But he rarely cries out. He knows his
audience too well. A woman never |
falls over a rocking chair, and she never
will understand why a man does But
she can tell whether he has, by the way
he puts down the windows when he
finally reaches them. A rocking chair
window if we may be allowed the |
term) can be heard three times as far as
my other.-DdRJury Ne,cs.