Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-04-22


o man.
Garlic esbers are not crowded in
street cars. RahktsAS
An inside dental expose-having a
tooth filed.
"And sfill he spelled, and stu the won
That one small head could carry all he
knew." ~ ~ -
HThe farmers snrest speculations
v,,l he In live stock and plough
shares.
IF there is anything on earth that
heats four. aces it is kind and amia-
BILE wife. =
At recent Cory foot race between
two girls the one with the blue gar,
ter beat.
Many men are blessed with the
most uncommon sense, and do not
seem to know it.
1t is easier to bear up under our
misfortunes than to survive the COM
ments of our friends on them.
Carlyle is not fit man for a CEN
sus taler. He says England is pop
ulated by 40,000,000 souls-mostly
FOOLS"
A little man observed that he had
two negative qualities: he never lay
long in bed and he never wanted a
great coat.
st. Louis has ten thousand dogs.
The natives wear a section or stove
pipe on each leg during the mad dog
season.
A plain Wisconsin man, Mortified
at over-hearing his wife calculate,
That's the kind of clothes pm l
am" went out to attempt suicide.
How true, as Dr. johnson says,
that ''every man endeavors with his
utmost care to hide his poverty from
others and his idleness from him
SELF
Talk about the poetry of motion
and sylph-like grace, but did you ever
stand by and see q woman use one
tined fork to flop'a stove cover Off
A Troy bigamist ran out of back
door while his two wives were fight
ing over the question as to which
should have him, and has not since
been seen. sEifi
When a Detroiter was asked the
other day by traveller if he had ever
been in Brooklyn he hastened to re-
ply: "Do l look like one of that sort
OF men, sir?T
D Il don't care much about the
bugs" said Warmley, to the head of
a genteel boarding -house, "but the
fact is, madam, havn't the blood to
spare; you see that yourself
'Don't call on me for three days"
is what an Ashland girl posted on the
front gate, and she further added:
"Pm going to eat some onions this
week if 1 never have another beau"
CIeceLand Herald.
During their forty years of wander
ing in the desert, the clothes of the
1sraelites did not wear out; and more
than one tailor hereabouts thinks
that some similar phenomenon can
alone account for the dnllness of
trade in their line.-BOStOR Trans
cript.
A Brooklyn lady, whose husband
has an unpleasant habit of railing at
her, has hit upon the plan of calling
in her servants when he begins to let
out his temper, and then turning to
him and saying swcetly: "Now, my
dear, please go on with your re-
Marks He doesn't go on, at least
not as he began. sf.re
A Nevada woman recently knocked
down seven burglars, one after an
other. Her husband watched her
from the top of the stairs, and felt so
brimful of battle that he couldn't
cool off until he had jcrked his eight
year-old boy out of bed and 'whaled"
him soundly for not getting up and
helping his mother.
Have you any eggs?" inquired
peaceful looking old man as he leaned
over the counter of a hardware store
recently. mo sir,-this is hard
ware store; we keep nails, stoves,
etc, answered the clerk. swell, l
did want some eggs slowly drawled
the old man, ''but | hain't particular,
and you may give me a pound of
nails"
"Are you going after that sugar?"
called Marquette { Mich. mother
to her boy, who was in the street.
"Am 1 going after that sugar."
drawled the youth in a saucy and i'm
pudent tone; but just then he hap
pened to see his father coming up be-
hind him, and he said very respect
fully and lovingly: "Why, of course
l am, ma; / didn't know you needed
it right away"
"When / was travelling in Massa
chusetts, some twenty years ago."
said traveller, 81 had a seat with
the driver, who, on stopping at the
post-office, saluted an Unlocking fel-
low on the steps with, Good morn
ing, Judge Sander; l hope you're
we'll, sirY After leaving the office. |
asked the driver if the man he spoke
to was really a jndge. Certainly.
SIR he replied. we had cock fight
last week, and he was made Judge
,,, fbot nncoSion -
Yesterday was indeed an eventful
day in the life Of a lady on west Jack
son street. During a trip on the
street ears To State street and back,
she saw the loyeliest polonaise pat
tern she ever saw in her life, the
handsomest fellow she ever saw in
her life, the homeliest woman she
ever saw in her life, got the worst
fright she ever had in her life from
the drnnkest man she ever saw in
her life, never was so insulted in her