The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1875-12-30
CLOCKS.
CLOCKS ss,<$
The Jewelry Store. of Il n. Bedford

The Jewelry Store. of Il. n. Bedford
is located underline room In which we
sleep. When his clocks strike there is
music. Now, if there is anything in
the world which we like. it. is music,
and, we might add, girls, :if We may be
SO bold as to say SO in public, Well.
the other night we came home a little
late from an oyster supper over at
Soule's Post Office, on Third. Avenue,
and we had just got to. DOING and had
started into beautiful dream in which
we saw the :Worthington ADVANCE
and the Worthington Book Store occu-
plying a four-story stone building on
the corner Of Tenth Street and Fourth
Avenue, when: a lot ofs,clocks in the
room below began to}baig!b bang! bang!
every one apparently trying to get s.
head of every other one ill., announcing
that it was 12o'clock. We did not care
to question. this, especially: when they
all seemed to lie agreed, for, according
to all the rules OF, evidence, when there
are Il number of statements agreeing as
to a particular fact, the said fact is. to
he presumed true. So WE turned over
and put our cold feet against Kimball
to warm them, when bang! bang! bang!
spoke up a clock ina sharp and some
what spiteful voice and declared it was
only eleven o'clock. Here was "a diff
ference of opinion, but stin the prepon-
derance Of evidence wa$ in favor of
twelve, and we composed ourself and
was just fairly entering the Land of
Nod again, when up spoke another
clock, which seemed to have come in
hurriedly and out of breath, and declar-
ed it was only nine o'clock. Three or
four clocks, us it were, rose to their
feet and declared in an excited manner
that it was twelve O'Clock. Here
we felt 4 little annoyed, but we con-
cealed our annoyance, and pretended to
enjoy the fun, willie we told them in a
facetious manner to
Strike till the livelong night expires!
Strike rs the rebels strike for fires!
Strike like the Dutch bells of your sires!.
Here little clock, apparently Il female,
spoke up i'll a shrill, feminine voice with
a sort of percussion snap to it, and in
sisted that it was fourteen o'clock. At
this point we began to lose our temper
Il little, bnt we concealed our irritation
and thanked them all for the informa-
ton, suggesting, however, that we
hoped they would not trouble them
selves any more on our account, espe-
clally as we had a watch of our own,
and according to Mr.. Alexander Pope,
every man believes his own watch
But the matter was not to he dropped
in that way. The sex having got into
the dispute, several female clocks, with
Il sort of derringer snap in their voices,
and each apparently determined to have
the last word, climed in and gave their
views, some maintaining that it was
four, some six and others seven. Here
we lost all patience, and declared that
we didn't care Il cent about knowing
what time it was, and that if they
didn't stop their wrangling we would
come down with club and smash their
internal machinery into everlasting
splithereens What effect this had OH
them we shall probably never know, for
at this stage of the dispute, Il big clock
which seemed to have grown tired of
the controversy himself, slipped his
cable and let loose his alarm, with the
consumedest racket that ever fright.
ened Il man out Of bed. Thisold fellow
seemed to be the Boss Clock, FOR after he
expressed himself in this boisterous and
extravagant manner, declaring, rs near
as we could follow him in oar count,
that it was somewhere between 100 and
500 O'Clock, not another one of the dis.
putants opened his mouth. In few
minutes we went back to finish our
dream about the ADVANCE building
and found that eight or ten stories had
been added, raising the structure to Al,
impossible height, and reminding us of
our early conceptions of the Tower of
Babel.