Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-05-20
ROY HAMMOND'S APRIL FOOL.

DEAR Mr.. EDITOR: Do the Chicago
| boys keep April FoOl-day? We do here
and get lots o fun out of it, only the fun
comes sometimes on the wrong side,
some as it did on me this year. You
see I'd been planning for long time to
get big April fool on my uncle Jim, but
Joe (he's my little brother) went and let
it out to him just as it was ready to 90
off. Joe never could keep anything to
himself. | shan't ever put another Sc
cret into him, he lets them out so easy.
Well, SO my big fool proved big fizzle,
| but I'd no notion of giving it up. I'd got
the whole day before me, and I felt sure
| could fix up something that would take
Uncle Jim down little. I didn't have
long to wait, as it happened, for soon
after breakfast he called me to come up
stairs. He was standing in the hall
reading letter
"Roy," said he, "run fast as you can
to my tailor's and get my new suit. 1t
was promised for last night, but didn't
come. You bring it to the depot, and be
mighty spry, too for I've got to take the
first train and there's no time to lose"
l went as fast as | could to the tailor's,
but he said the suit would not be finished
before night. [ knew it would make
Uncle Jim feel angry. | gave a little
squlnt to the letter he was reading, and
it was kind O. pink, and smelt just like
the letters mamma gets from lady who
visited us last summer. We all liked
her tiptop, but Uncle Jim liked her more
that that, | can tell you. He never want
ed US children to be tagging along when
they were going for walk, and used to
send us back when we did want to 90 so
bad. l most knew Uncle Jim's letter
was from Miss May, and that she had
sent for him to go to her house, and
knew his "angry passions would rise,
get up pretty high, too, if he couldn't
have his new clothes. Then it popped
into my head what a capital fool l could
get on to him about his new suit asked
the man if he wouldn't do up paper
parcel just about as big as the suit would
be. He grinned and said he would if I'd
take the conseq uences.
/ told him [ would, so he went ahead
and did up a big bundle. I took it, run
to the depot, found Uncle Jim and the
train all ready to start. He took the
parcel and put into my hand a little wad
O. paper, and said:
There, Roy, run and pay up for that
pane of glass you broke last month"
/ unrolled the paper, and there was
dollar bill! To be sure, it was awful
dingy and dirty-looking, but anyway it
said cone dollar" on it as plain as could
be. [ was so tickled l off with my hat
and hollered "Hu1T0R!" as loud as I
could. The folks looked as if they
thought | was crazy, but did not care
one bit | was so glad OF that dollar.
You see, awhile ago l was playing ball,
and batted it right through the kitchen
window. 1t wasn't the first time I'd
done it, either, so mamma said1 was get
ting to be such a careless boy l must
have a lesson to make me remember, and
l should pay for the glass myself.
l don't suppose getting one dollar
seems much of job to you, but / tell
you it's a mortal long time getting, where
a chap like me has to earn it, a cent at
time, and the times long ways between.
I'd got half of it all ready, and here was
whole dollar right in my hand. Do
you wonder I was glad?
Well, went home as fast as 1 could,
for | wanted to tell mamma all about it,
but she had gone out; SO put the
money where she would see it first thing
when she came in. Then [ ran to get
my own half dollar, cause I thought l
was all out O. debt and could afford a
big treat. I didn't know but [ ought to
wait till mamma came back and so ask
her advice bout spending SO much |
money for candy, but I felt just as if l |
couldn't wait one minute; and thought |
too I'd get her paper of chocolate |
creams, and when she saw how generous
I'd been to her she wouldn't say much !
bout the rest
Well, [ bought peanuts (agaoays get |
peanuts-you can get SO much for your |
money and molasses candy, gum-drops,
juju-paste and paper of mixed candies,
besides mammals creams. Those I car
ried straight to mammals room so they
shouldn't tempt the other children.
Then we went in for regular time with
our goodies and didn't get to the bottom
of the bag till the dipner-ben rang. You
may be sure we didn't want much dinner
that day, though we managed to worry
down little of the dessert. After
dinner I hardly knew what to do with
myself. Mamma hadn't come, and Jane
said she didn't know when she would |
began to feel kind of queer. When l
walked the floor seemed to the rise right
up. How I did wish mamma would