Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-08-07

means of rare occurrence in printing
offices; and cannot tell how to ac-
count for it, but the fact is indisputa-
BILE, that when the exigencJ does occur,
it almost always happens that s is
adopted as a substitute for the letter
deficient. The true reason, perhaps, is
that x is rather the most superabundant
letter IN the case, or at least was so in
old times-,long enough to render the
substitution in question an habitual
thing with printers. As for Bob, he
would have considered it heretical to
employ any other character, in a case
of this kind, than the to which he had
been accustomed.
II shall have to this ere paragrab, "
said he to himself, as he read it over in
astonishment, " but it's jest about the
awfulest o-wy paragrab I ever did see:''
so X it he did, unflinchingly, and to
the press it went x-ed. s- ... ..-
Next morning the population of Mop
oils were taken all aback by reading in
the TEAPOT the following extraordinary
leader: s rU ..i st.a .. M -
"Sxhx, Jxhn! kxw nxwP Txld yxu SIX /,
yXu knXw. Dxn't crxw anxther time befxre
yxu're xutXf the wXXds! Dxes yxur mxther
knxw yxur xut 2 XII, nx, nx !-sx gx hxme
at Knee, nxw, Jxhn, tx yxurxdixus Kid wxxds
xf fCxncxrd Ok hxme tx yxur wxxds. Kid
xwl-gx! Yxn wxnt? XII, pxh, pxh, Jxhn,
dxnt DIX so Yxu,ye gxt tx gx, yxu knxw ;
bxdy xwns yxu here, yxuknxw. XII. Jxhn,
Jxhn, if yxu dxn't gX yxu're NIX hIn.I-xh
yxu're xnly a fNwl, an XVII; cxw, sxw;
IL Il
tx nxbxdy lxg,, dxg, hxg, Xr frxg, cxme xnt
Xf CXncxrd bXg. Cxxl nxw-cxxl ! DIX
be cXXl, yxu fxxl Nxne xf yxur crxaking,
KID cxckl Dxn't frxwn SIX dxntl Dxn't
Lxrd, Jxhn, hxw yxu DIX xxx Txld yxu SIX,
yxu knXw, but ssxp rxlling yxur gxxse xf an
Kid pXll abxut SIX, and gx and drxwn yxur
sxrrxws in bxwl " .-' '.~ ID
The uproar occasioned by this lnysti-
cal and cabalistical article, is not to be
conceived The first definite idea en-
tertained by the populace was, that
some diabolical treason lay concealed
in the hieroglyphics; and there was a
general rush to Bullet-head's residence,
for the purpose of riding him on rail;
but that gentleman was nowhere to be
found. He had vanished, no one could
tell how; and not even the ghost of
him has ever been seen since.
Unable to discover its legitimate OBJ
ject, the popular fury at length sub
sided; leaving behind it, by way Of sed-
iment, quite medley of opinion about
this unhappy affair.
One gentleman thought the whole an
X-ellent joke
Another said that, indeed, Bullet
head had shown much X.uberance of
fancy. ... -.... 1858 r.s
A third admitted him X-entric, but
no more. -.... d.
A fourth could only suppose it the
Yankees design to X-press in general
way, his X-asperation. 49,. ..a D..
"Say, rather, to set an Example to
'posterity," suggested fifth.
That Bullet-head had been driven to
extremity, was clear to all; and in fact,
since that editor could not be found,
there was some talk of lynching the
other one.
: The more common conclusion, how
ever, was that the affair was, simply,
Extraordinary and ink -plicable. Even
the town mathematician confessed that
he could make nothing of so dark a
problem. X, everybody knew, was an
unknown quantity; but in this case las
he properly observed), there was an
unknown quantity of X.
The opinion of Bob, the devil (who
had kept dark "about his having X-ed
the parasrab') did not meet with so
much attention as 1 think it deserved,
although it was very openly and very
fearlessly expressed. He said that, for
his part, he had no doubt about the
matter at all, that it was clear case,
that Mr.. Bullet-head never could be
persuaded fur to drink like other folks,
but was continually a-swigging O. that
ere blessed xxx ale, and. as MATERIAL
conscience, it just puffed him up saw
age, and made him x (cross) in the X
treme' t '@ r