Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-04-28
ALI Sorts.

A HEAVY BUs1NEss-importing Ele-
plants.
The WORTH OF A woMEN-double you,
0 man.
GARLIC eaters are now crowded in
street cars.
WHAT is the Spiritulists papera
(W)rapping paper. ~'
THE fourth son of Brete Harte was
born at Morristown last Monday. His
oldest is about thirteen.
A DOOR step is often the first step of
life taken by little waif.
QUESTIONS OF THE DAY-one I or two?
z, S or c? able or ible u in or out?
CONCERTED movement-The waving
Of baton.
A BABY with twenty eight toes has
been born in Stockton, Mo. What
character of corns he will bel
WHEN cat sings, does she not do it
on purpus? She simply does it to
a-mews herself.
4 LITTLE man observed that he had
two negative qualities: he never lay
long 10 bed and he never wanted agreat
coat.
ST.. LOUIS has ten thousand dogs.
the natives wear section of stOvepipe
on each leg during the mad dog
season.
How true, as DR.. Johnson says, that
fevery man endeavors with his almost
care to hide his poverty from others and
his idleness from himself,
We read good deal in the papers Of
stylish turnouts in Washington. Buffers
turnout, though not stylish, has been
much admired. ..
WHEN q Detroiter WAS asked the
other day by traveller If he had ever
been in Brooklyn he hasteEed to reply:
DO look like one of that sort of men
sir?"
A CHICAGO man thinks that the worst
speller ought to get the Dictionary,
and the winner should have wreath
Of sorrel, Tor some. other garden sass, like
them Greeks"
WHEN Western man gets divorce
from a crusading and strong minded
wife, the papers say, ''Mr. So-and-so
has resigned his position as husband
for Mrs. So-and-so.'
EVERY man who mails package
subject to the new postage rates drops
it into the hole with the wish that
Senator Hamln had to sit for two hours
On a hot shovsl.-Detroat Free Press.
The average gorilla of Central Arr
ca, now points to Stanley and his band
of explorers, and pathetically reminds
his grand children that sit is what they
may one day expect to come to-"
"Don't call on me for three days." is
what an Ashland girl posted on tho
front gate, as she further added: I'm
going to eat some onions this week Il
I never have another beau"
A BROOKLYN lady, whose husbandhas
an unpleasant habit of railing at her,
has hit upon the plan of calling in her
servants when he begins to let out his
temper, and then turning to him saying
sweetly: "Now my dear, please go ON
with your remarks. He doesn't go On,
at least not as he began.
JENNIE kissed me when we met
Springing from the chair she sat in:
Time, you thief. who loves to get
Sweets into your list, put that in
Say I'm ugly, say I'm sad;
Say that health and wealth have missed ma
Say I'm growing DID, but add
Jennie kissed me- Leigh H,t't.
A QUIET peaceable gentleman insrPhila-
delphia has recently given up business,
sent his family into the country, and
calmly announces his determination to
find the man who sent him a paving
stone by express with ST charges on it.
-Noah's Sunday Times.
YESTERDAY was indeed an eventful
day in the life of lady on west jackson
street. During trip on the street cars
to State street and back, she saw the
loveliest polonaise pattern she ever saw
in her life, the handsomest fellow she
ever saw in her lite, the handsomest
womanshe ever saw in her life, got the
worst fright she ever had in her life
from the drunkest man she ever saw in
her life, never was more insulted in her
life as she was by a young man who
spoke to her on the car, and finally got
home feeling more tired than she ever
felt in her life.-ChicagO Tribune
THERE is no end, the suns last ray
Fades in the golden west
Fades but to dawn brighter day
Above some mountains crest
The light that for us slowly dies.
Gladdens with day some other eyes
There is no end; the hours that steaa
Hope from some loving heart,
New joys to other lives reveal.
And loves bright dreams impart,
The last day for earth's weary child
On dawning life hath sweetfy smied
There is no end; the restless tide
Sweeps on forevermore
AS singing on the ocean vide,
1t breaks upon the shore.
As rolls the tide across the deep
SO love aud anguish onward sweep
TIE folly of inficting French phrases
ON country postmaster was demon
strated the other day, whena letter
dropped into the Langsport Qnd-)
Post directed to a young
man en- vlue, was sent by
by the Intelligent officer In charge to
Evansville, and there detained till too
late to accomplish it's intended purpose