New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-03-07
heart for Us and ohr people, and this pen
sketch NAV give sbme faint idea OF what

| from the News Company; told us We cOuI(
publish the list if we desired, but suggested
that his name shodld not be used
Here is the Di4t: Sun, $4,000; Herald
4s. 1000: Times, 30,0dO; Tribune, 81, 900; World
5000; Erening Posi-, 5000; Commercial Adrer
User, 1000; Lrprcsf. 1900; Mail, 1900.
We turn the malicious humOrist over t.
the tender mercihs of those of the above
papers which be has attempted to inJure.
..Well, that is hard, Mr.. Perkins," Oh
served our reporter MS he finished readin.
the article and wiped his eyeglasses with
his handkerchief THAT was dreadful,
your telling these bandits about the crcu-
laiion of the New York papers, wasn't it,
"But suppose L had gone on with the
outrage and said the Graphic has circula-
| ton of H. 900: tile Weekly Inter Ocean n
| circulation OF $1,000, and the Cincinnati
Commercial a daily issue of 100000 I'm
glad l didn't now. That would have been
awful But that ism: half, young man.
Read the St. Louis Republican. See how
this noble sheet kills me, loop and the VEN
cradle MIR. Perkins handed us another edl-
toriai:
THE GREAT 4 MEXICAN HUMoRIsr.
The outrage grinders have found man
| at last to write letters to order. and remark
ably be does it. His name is Eli Perkins,
and he is engaged by the Chicago Inter-
Ocean, paper Aecond to none in its devo-
| ton to Cesar and government advertise
ments, and it's Wild desire for buckets of
gore drawn from the banditti of the South.
Ell Perkins" il now lying for the Chicago
"Ontrage MILL" the Inter- Ocean.
The first lying letter which we have seen
| of this great american Lumorist on the
| subject OF Southern wrongs or rights, as
the case may be lis to the Inter Ocean, under
the date ct February 10, and is written
from the secure anchorage of the Palmer
House. in Chicago. The humoIist, after
visiting Shreveport and introducing himself
to the people OF fhat vicinity, listened to all
they had to sayI pumped the bleached At
ricans, and then pared an account of the
Coushatta affair which he was very careful
not to print unkil he was far out Of reach
Of the men be had in all human proba-
bility so outr*gely slandered. This is
the style OF humOr in which the
great American wit INDUCED. We con-
graduate the "a! amandrian city in it's own.
ership Of Eli Perkins. With Edwards. the
great American census taker, and Eli Per-
kins, the great american humOrist, it ought |
to DO happy. With two such pre-eminent !
liars, 100000 pfople and the original out |
rage mill OF brother ScammOn, We could |
almsst be TEMPTED to envy it, if St Louis |
had any necessity for such aids. But we |
are especially PLEASED that Eli Perkins has |
succeeded at ldst in making the American |
people laugh. 1T is not often done as he has
y
can cause them to laugh, when he only in
tends that they shall cry, why, where's the
difference! Hip end in life is attained. and
then there are the lies multitudinously
thrown in for nkakeweights.
Great heavdns" exclaimed our reporter,
as ne finished, Fare there any m0re?"
''Mere, sir9 Why cords Of 'em, sir. tell
you I'm u killeE man Oh, that was ever
so f0oIlsb as toltell those Coush alta truths!'
And the broken hearted man wept long and |
loud.
A moment afterward Mr. Perkins fished
ont OF his pocket letter from a lecture
committee in Brunswick. Missouri. a real
old Democratic, fire eating town. The
lecturer had bfen invited to speak there on |
the twenty-seventh of March; fee $780,
10 day came this letter from the Hon. |
Louis Benecke, chairman of the lecture |
OFFICE OF LOUIS BENRCKs,l
Brunswick. Mo-, February ~, 1875 ! |
Ut. Ell PERKINS:
We will have to cancel your engagement
o lecture here. The Bruns,cicher has
Tipped the Missouri Republican article, and q
{ will appear here. This article, with the I
inter- Ocean article, making fun of the
louisiana bandits, and sustaining the Presi- G
ent IN his Louisiana policy, compels us to
ANGEL your engagement here. Our people
re mostly Democrats, dyed in the wool.
he Brunsmicker is a Democratic organ, and I
xerts great influence among the people u
ere That you may not misjudge me in | q
his matter, will state to you that am .
republican, and the articles on Louisiana
as no effect upon me personally, or npon II
ny of our Republicans. 81
1t the articles had not appeared in the Il
ater-Ocean and the Republican you would r
ave realized more than 500 for the lee g.
Ire, which you will now have to lose VI
nope to meet you in person while you u
e in this neighborhood.
thanking you for your kindness. and | q
lshlng you abundant success. l am, very IL
uiy. yours, LOUIS BENECKE.
r. Perkins ." asked our reporter, az the n
tears rolled down the old mans cheeks, IL
"Golng to do, sirl Why I've gone aud n
me it already, SIR. I've gone and denied Ia
q truth Of that Inter- Ocean letter-said it OF
as lie, sir. I've written letter OF con- a.
ltlon, sr-acknowledging myself to be a III
tnkee mudsill, sir; q VILLAIN and q scoun. m
el, for telling the truth in your I,,ter- tn
'ean! There is my reply-my apology" IL,
ID the broken hearted man handed us this pi
ter: ar
PALMER HOUSE, February %, 1875. III III
the Noble Bandits of Shreveport: tn
regret exceedingly that til
Is betrayed into saying that YOU high ia
ned, chlvairlc Southern White Leaguers | tn
pre]udiced against the Northern Repub- P,
an residents IN your State. 1t is not SO. To-
led about 1t. You love them. You did in
murder the six plant tiers of Coushatta. to
ese Northern planters killed themselves. la,
sgusted with the knowledge that they do
re Northern mudsills, your Interiors. ami of
, late to change their vulgar natures. they 10,
led themselves. Other Northern men of
,t themselves out of sympathy to these let
snters, and then several hundred negro re-
publlcans shot themselves to avoid sim Sol
larlty. l also lied about their being any an
hculty in Louisiana. You all love the fro
vernment. You love the Union. Not one of CT,
ever fought against the flag. No one wi
'r seeded. You stood by the constitu. fac
as you stand by it now. You invite an
rjhern Republicans to come among Won. wi
u love and cherish the negro. You are of
h-toned. You are chivalric. You don't rat
~ revolvers. Oh, no! Your highest Ev
oltlon Is to follow the plow-to peace. mo
~ till the soil. 1t is true, on the other mo
I'd, that Northern men come amOno Won mr.
l shoot you while at your daily toll ple
81 drive you from your homes. seize me
II property and, if you open your a d
uths' they shoot you down. When ia I
ttaern journalists come among you and life
1cise you, you speak kindly and forbear- san
~ OF them. You are gentlemen. and wa the
low, vulgar mudsills, only tit to sit at IN,
II teet-ft to stand around and he shot in
we are not tit to vote. 1t is wrong for tim
20 hire negroes-wrong to paw them and hnt
norailze them with high wages. nrn
am sorry, said, "there have heen dis si0
Dances in New Orleans Tha. was a nv
100. 1t has been perfectly quiet there the
SIX Northern planters-Twitchell. and lar,
10, ana Scott. and Holland, and Devices con
y newell owe. would have been peacefully bea