The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-01-14

THE GOOSE.
This is big fat bird wich woddles
and swims. The reson it woddles is cos
it haln't got no nees to it's legs.
Their feets is got lether between the
tose, and here is story wich I've herd
my mother tel til line Jest sick. Wen
we had IN a goose for micklemis it was
lyin on the kitchn table, and mother
she hel the baby up to see the goose on
the table. Wen the baby see it's feet
stickin up with the lether between the
tose, it said, the baby did, doosey dot
guys on. But pirate storys is the sort
for me.
Stoopid folks is some times call geese.
and [ spose if geese toks among their
sells they calls the stoopid ones foxes,
wich is wot calls fair play.
Once they was a ole man that KEEP
geese for Twin, and he was very i'll
COZ he cuddent sleep well mites, and
wen he did sleep he had sech frife
dreems. So he sent for the dockter,
and the dockter felt the ole mans pulls,
and leokt at his tung, and shook his
he'd, and said wot was his simptems
and the ole man he said mite mares.
Then the dockter said he knew that,
but wot did the ole man dreem? The
ole man tole the dockter that as soon
as he shet his eyes at mite he thot his
self surrounded by geese, wich KEEP
snatchln out his hair with their bills.
Then the dockter he said I cud a tole
you that wen first see your tung. you
mus thro away this piller, and make
of OIL 71o1,
jerk out of live geese. Wy, said the
man, that is jes how I made this piller.
Then the dockter' said oh oh and
went away, but the ole man he see how
it was, and never stript any more geese
til they was ded. But that's the kind of
pliers wich some foxes dies on real
peaceful.
Geese lays eggs like hens, only bigger,
and wen they are hatch the chicks is
goslins, wich is green. Once my uncle
Ned he fetch home a goslin wich he had
pick up, and he put it in my sisters
green work box. Then uncle Ned he
said to my sister, Missy, I brot home
such nice little duck, as wife as sno,
have you see it any were, for I have loss
1t. My sister said no, she haddent, but
uncle Ned he said was she sure she
haddent hid it some were ies to tese
him, but she said wy, uncle Ned But
he KEEP on askin, and hintin like he
thot she done it, til she was almost
reddy to cry, for she luvs uncle Ned
offer than anybody excep her yung
man. Pritty soon wen he had gon she
went to her green work box to git some
thing, and there was the goslin, and
wen she see it I thot she wud die.
Then she took the goslin to the kitchin,
and watched her, like uncle Ned had
tole me, and she bel it under the
spout, and scrubd it with a brush, to
get the green of. But wen it wudddent
be wife she bust out a. crime, and said
uncle Ned wud never, never, never
bleeve her. Then I tole her how it
was, and you never see sech happy
girl. She boxt my ears til I see stars
But wen uncle Ned come home with a.
new scarf he had bot for her, and laft
at her, she forgive me, and made sech a
pet of that gosIin that now it is erode
up to be regler noosence, but it's wife
at last
NY sisters yung man he says once
upon time oil the geese in a puddle
get to gether to chose king, but it
was long time before they cud agree,
cos them that diddent want to be king
wanted to be prime minister, and these
gabbled oil to once SO they was as bad
as the others. And now, my sisters
yung man said, how do you guess tina
settled it? And wen said [ diddent
kno, he said wy, jes like reasonable hui
min beins; tina made king of the big
0est goose.