The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1875-06-04
SUNBBAMS.

=
scotchortonandjerTy.
When there is only one worm it is well
enough to be an early bird.
He was Warm Spring Indian the mo-
ment he sat down on hot stove.
An Irish doctor lately sent in his bill to
lady as follows: ITO curing your hus-
band till he died"
Rubber horse shoes are being introduced.
They cost little more than iron ones.
but horse can jump farther with them.
patent churn. invented by a Sioux
squaw, is on exhibition in Washington.
1t shows considerably Immunity.
care there any fools in this city P"
asked a stranger of = newsboy. NO; do
you feel lonesome ?" was the reply.
The Wisconsin farmer who left a candle
burning in the barn so as to scare thieves
away has no barn to watch now.
The children in Florida say they live on
sweet potatoes in the summer, and on
strangers in the winter.
Red used on railroad signifies danger
and saws stop. It should be so, construed
when displayed on mans nose.
The Springfield Republic has a female
compositor that weighs 100 pounds, and
vet she bothers the foreman for fat every
day.
A medical man says that the corpse of
a man who is absolutely drowned will bleed
if cut. But who wants to "bleed" a
corpse?
Young lady in Kentncky swallowed
eight percussion caps the other dav. She
is an old maid, but her mother thinks her
likely to go off at any time now.
Mark Twain says that with the poor whites
along the Mississippi "chills are a merciful
provision of all-wise Providence to enable
them to take exercise without exertion."
Unless Milwaukee girl can take a
brick in each hand and make eight feet
and four inches at a standing jump, she
rarely gets admitted into the best society.
els this the Adams House ~ asked a
stranger of n Bostoniau. Yes was the
reply, cts Adams House until you get
to the roof, then it's eaves''
Corn whisk. with perseverance, and ener-
gy, will wear the coat off your back, and
corn whisIlcy, without much perseverance
and energy, will wear the coat off your
stomach.
Minnesota sheriff carried a bullet in
his head ten wears, and when they removed
it the other day he became foolish They
are looking for some one to shoot him
again.
bad little hoy, upon being promised
FIVE cents by his mother if he would Ia ks a
dose OF castor oil ohtainel the money. and
then told his parent that she might castor
oil in the street.
The man who picked ND a kernel Of
giant powder and male ,is autograph up
on the hot stove, thinking it was charcoal,
row employs an amanuensis to sign his
bank checks.
An Atchison, Kan, girl ate four pounds
OF wedding cake in order that she might
dream of her future husband. And now
she says that money wouldn't hire her to
marry the man she saw in that dream.
Down in Connecticut butter is bein 10
made at a cost of three cents per pound
! When an unfortunate man gets a mouth
full of the compound, his chief anxiety
Is to find good place to have a fit.
A Dubuque printer received the follow
ing note from his girl: May ] Git yanked
ont of bed at mjdnite every mite by cuss
like Theydore Tilton, an carried upp a
million pare of stares, III ever / sese to love
you, Jim
| At charitable fair in Boston, one of the
| things for sale is a calf six months old
He is fine fellow Of valued breed
/ The young ladies' have decorated him pro.
/ fuS"ly with flowers and ribbons, and parted
/ his hair in the middle.
Lee Richprdson of Wick sbury advertises
/ q lot of "half pint, pint. and quart TASKS
! with corl1s,'' for sale, which seems to init.
! mate that there are some men in Vicks-
/ burg who don't go to the bottom Of a quart
bottle at the first draught.
! A man in digging a load of sand from a
! sand bank in Seneca Falls was buried To
! his shoulders by an avalanche of the
/ treacherous earth. When discovered bv
/ his friends he had been planted about three
! hours. and was beginning to grow-dis-
/ couraged.
! There are times when all of woman $
! self-possession and dignity are REQUIRED
/ That is when she shows her first baby. a
hare-lipped one. to an old beau, whom she
/ has Tilted for the sake Of her present hus.
| husband
A rustic youncster, being asked out to
| take tea with friend. was admonished to
! praise the eatables. Presently the butter
| was passed to him, when he remarked
! Very nice butter-what there is of it,
and observing a smile. he added, "and
! plenty of it-such as it isl
'sI should think you would be ashamed
/ to pitch into that little boy" said a pedes.
J trian, as he caught a big bootblack cuffino
small newsboy. "1'e would, hey p5'
sneered the lad, as he gave his nose wipe
"D'ye think I'd go for big boy and get
/ all pounded UP ?'
The following are few of the wavs in
/ which the scholars of Public School No =
/ of Brooklyn pronounce the name of the
! printed rewards of merit bestowed upon
L. e.. L..