The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-03-25
BUBBLES.

1t is suggested that Mr.. McClung arm his col
orei employees with razors.
| plymouth Kisses are the latest novelty
brought out by Brooklyn confectioners.
| The superiority OF the white over the
the negro was beautifully illustrated at Straits
willie last week.
The whole band of Sheebit Indians
Gently baptized, in Utah. AS a sanitary mea-
sure, this may be considered good thing.
81 dond dink dot ish right, sometimes, to gif
dem tam niggers de same privileges as ush
white American citishens. nix like dot"
The ignorant serfs of trades unions are about
to run the negroes out of the Hooking Valley
This is right-no negro with any self-respect
ought to remain in the Hooking Valley single
day.
1t is reported that the excursion to Mexico
has for its object the ultimate annexation OF
some of the Northern States of that Republic.
So we may expect to see, on the roll of Congress
in few years, the name of Don Jesus Christie,
the member from -.
The blue-birds are beginning TO understand
it. WhGn one is perched OH fence-stake,
nowadays, and sees a man passing, wrapped
the surroundings, and il he sees stone within
+ fifty yards OF him-he don't sing.
Ifthe Marietta Register man will examine a
a copy of the STANDARD for March 4, 1873, he
will lind the original of an article published in
last weeks Register, and credited to the Wheel
ing Intellig 1t is of no consequence to
us but don't like to the pensive Virgin
ian idiot encouraged in pagiarizing what he is
too lazy to write.
We employed a man to write Bubbles" tor
us last week, and he had some talk about warm
weather, and iced drinks. Those who found
his mutilated remains imbedded in a snowdrift
short time afterward, declare that ought
to have shown mercy, and allowed him to
freeze to death, without laying the hands OF
violence upon him.
| Tilton's remedy for loneliness-walk into
young lady's room, after night, carry her to
your own room while she is asleep, and when
she awal1es and objects to such treatment, tell
her you are lonely, and want to talk.
| Grigsby's wife saw man crawling into her
servant girls window, the other evening, and
attacked him from the rear, with a basin o.
| scalding water. 1t is a subject of wonder to her
now what makes Mr.. g. so industrious, for she
cannot get him to sit down for 4 single mo-
| ment-not even to his meals, while he mutters
tices, being struck by lightning, etc.
News comes from BIount county, Tennessee,
| of the washing away of mound by high
| waters, disclosing hundreds OF human forms
| which had evidently been there for ages. The
Republican Gubernatorial Committee of Ohio,
on receipt of the news, Immediately despatched
| a man South. They are determined to beat
| William.
Smith says his wife has become so excited
over the Brooklyn case, that she has taken to
kissing him every time he goes home. 1t didn't
bother him much at first, but now he finds it
impossible to take his "bitters" on his way
home, without causing embarrassment in the
| family. He has stopped his paper.
Orig. had heard SO often the old maxim,-
"Early to bed, and early to rise
Makes man healthy, wealthy, and WISE"
That he resolved to try it. But after sojourning
on farm for three weeks, during the green
corn and cucumber season, he pronounces it a
a failure.
Keeler is one of those men who are always
prating to the young 'uns about the lazi-
ness of the present generation, and how differ
ent it used to be when they were boys-how
they had to toll and sweat, from daylight till
dark, etc.
Now KeeIer jr. is precocious youngster and
don't go any too much on what the old gentle
man says about such matters; and when, in
rummaging throughthe old gentleman's desk
one day, he found his graudfather's journal,
carefully preserved, he concluded that he had
found bit of choice reading, and became so
absorbed, that he entirely forgot his surround
ings, that he forbidden ground.
The last entry for each day, was pretty much
the same:
June 2Ist, walloped Jim for goin' fshin'."
"By George says Keeler, jr.-"Jim-Jim-
why, that's the gunner. Now Wen see how IN
dustrus he used ter be-
"June 22d, walIoped Jim for fl in Tom John
son."
"June 23d, walIOped Jim for stealth melons
from Deacon SIosser.''
June 24th, walloped Jim for goin after birds
nests, and not workin in the corn-field."
"June 25th, walloped Jim fur"
, Here the reading was interrupted by the old
, gentleman (who had slipped noiselessly in,)
taking the reader by the nape of the neck
while Keeler, jr., declares to this day, that he
5 had an upward stroke of neural lgia ON that oc-
cason.
When the old gentleman lectures him now
| oil he has to say is, ''Walloped Jim fur" when
the sentence is generally ended by boot-jack
i Old Deacon Simpkins dead set against
{ the baleful practice of swearing, and never
tired of lectuTing the young men of his neigh
borhood upon the evil results of giving way tc
passion. He had been more than usually Sc
. we're to his Sabbath class one Sabbath
, one Sabbath morning, in his denunciation o
, swearers, and the boys had gnawing anxiety
4 too see the good old man put to severe test 81
i that they might see how he should refrain from
n the of profane language.
1t chanced that on that same Sabbath after
y noon, there was to be a baptzing, at which TIN
d Deacon to officiate Minister. At the ap
t. pointed hour, Il large concourse of people gath
\ cred at the waters edge, and, after a long an,
solemn prayer by the Deacon, and a hymn b,
i the congregation, the old man marched solemn
e ly out into the creek, to sound the depth @
u water. But the Deacon was not one of thos
who are destined to 'stand on slippery places,
u and, stepping on q smooth pebble at the bot
e tom, his heels described an arch in the all
| while his white head, for the time being disap
peared meath the muddy wave.
70 The old man came up directly, and thinkin
himself beyond his depth, shouted Justify 70