Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-04-07
FlrTY.FIvE DOZEN CLOTHES.
PINS.

PxNJ.
How mrs. Jehnsen stirred Up the
neaA e the Eani1y-A warning 20
From the Danbury News.
Ladies who have husbands who are
neglectful in supplying them with
kindling should carefully study the
experience Off Division street sister.
All her married life che has had an
unbfoken struggle with her husband
to keep herself supplied with wood,
and the greater part Of the time she
has been obliged to depend upon her
own deftness with an ax, and any one
who has seen 4 woman handle an az
knows what dreadful thing It 10.
Two months ago she begged Of him
not to 60 away without leaving her
some kindlines. He said he wouldn't.
But finally he did. Then she hit upon
. plan. She had four dozen clothes.
pins. She took ONE dozen of them for
starting the fire, and found that they
worked admirably. The next day
smother dozen, and 20 she continued
until the tour dozen were gone. Then
she went to the store and purchased
another four dozen-having then ''put
In the bill" When they were gone
she repeated the ersand. She said no
more to him about kindliugs. For
ten years she had kept up the battle,
and now she was tired and sick at
heart. He could 60 his own way. and
she would 60 hers-patiently, uncom.
plainingly-until the end would come.
On Monday he siguifed at the store
that he would like TO settle his &c.
count. The bill was made ont and
handed him. He glanced down the
items. As he advanced along the col
umn his face began to work. First
bis eyes slowly enlarged, and then his
mouth gradually opened. caused by
the dropping of his lower Jaw, and
wrinkles formed on his forehead.
One-third down the column he form
ed his lips - IL to whistle. Half way
down he said:
"Gra-cious r.
A little further on he said:
"Thunderl"
Four more lines were taken in and
"By the Jumping Jupiterr
Then he read on, shifting his thigh
vigorously, and giving vent to varioul
expressions of the liveliest nature. Fl.
nslly be threw the book down.
II say, Benson, look here ; this bill
can't be mine. You've got me mixed
up with some Laundry"
"Thats your bill, sir, !" said the grocer
smiling pleasantly.
~ tell you 1t can't be-" persisted the
Division street man, beginning to look
scared. "Why, here's fifty.five dozen
clothes.pins in two months' bill.
What on earth do you take me fora
four.story laundry"
"But 1t is your bill. Your wife can
explain it to you. She ordered the
pins"
"My wifep gasped the unfortunate
man.
eyes, SIR"
The debtor clutched the bill, jam.
med il into his pocket and hurried
straight home. He bolted into the
house without any abatement ofspeed,
and, finging the paper on the table
before his wife, knocked his hat on the
back of his head, and said:
"Marths Ann johnson, what does
this mean7 There are fifty.hve dozen
clothea.pins in Benson's bill for the
past two months, and he says you or.
dered every blessed ONE Of them.
"And 90 I did," Sid she, demurely.
"W.h.at! Fifty.five dozen clothes.
pins in two monthsw and he shot
down into . chair - II q freight car
had fallen atop of him. "Fifty five
dezen clothes-pins in two month";" he
howled. "Will just heaven stand
that 2"
II tell you, you needn't stare at me
that way, Reuben Wheeler johnson,
nor 70 calling onto heaven with yous
impiousness. ! ordered them clothes.
pins myself, and have burnt every
one OF 'em in that there stove, Just be-
cause you were too ALFRED lazy to Ret
Q stick of wood. And I declare, 30.
fore I'll be bothered jawing and fight
ing to get you to cut wood, I'll burn
up every clothes pin in the land, and
you shall pay for them, II you have
TO sell tho shirt on your back to do 1t,
So, nowi"
And Mrs. johnson, with face like
scarlet, snatchcd mp the broom and
went 10 weeping the carpet % II every
dake OF dust was red-hot coal, while
the unhappy johnson hastened 10 the
store and paid the bill. And beforc
dark that night he had . cord Of wood
sawed, split and piled up ready fol
use.