The Daily clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1888, 1875-01-28
HT'H3VE -.

oIoor cose-An empty dry goods
box.
There seems to be tidal wave OF cnlck'
en- stealing just now.
Il is enough for one thing at a time TO
happen, especially twins.
Young men, never say die when there
q par-odice within your reach.
It is very cold weather, and yet lovers
do not see the sense OF hugglng stove
Men who travel barefooted around
newly carpeted bed room often IND them
selves on the wrong tack
A girl baby in Monroe county, Tenn,
has double tongue; but we don't kno"
that that's news.
There is nothing more hazardous than
70 be bothering an irritable woman with
foolish questions on wash-day.
Don Carlos seems determined to make
GREAT hustle in Spain, and that's why
he talks so much of His-panla.
"You are too pert entirely, Miss,
said a teacher to pupil. our "hole
demeanor is a continuous mlsdemeanor.
"Too thin" has become obsolete.
'Not sufficiently materalized' is the
latest form in which this idea is clothed.
A man may be properly said to have
been drinking like fish when he finds
that he has taken enoug h to make his head
swim.
The Santa Cruz Sentinel compares
that town to "the dimple on beauty's
cheek" More cheek than dimple, prob
ably.
Never trust with secret a married
man who loves his wife, for he will tell
her, and she will tell her sister, and her
sister will tell everybody.
A Cincinnati woman burned her hus-
bands Sunday suit because he would
not put on a buffalo robe and crawl
around the back yard and play Santa
Claus.
The obituary notice Of much respect
ed lady concludes with-'In her life she
was a pattern worthy to be followed and
her death-oh, how consoling to her
friends"
There's where man has the advan-
tage He can undress in a Geld room,
and have his bed warm before woman
has got her hair-pins out and her shoes
united.
A genteel farmer in Massachusetts,, re-
tired Bostonian, didn't know now to take
a wagon wheel off to grease the axle, and
so he bored holes through the hub and
poured in the grease.
Why are sheep the least moral of ami
mails Because they gambol in their
youth, spend much Of their time on the
turf, many of them are blacklegs, and
they all get tieeced at last.
Ex-Governor Bradford, of Baltimore,
has declined a federal appointment on
the ground that he does not know any
thing about the details of the office.
This is thought to be the very best joke
in this column.
At printers festival, lately, the fol-
lowing toast was offered: "Woman-
second only to the Press in the dessemi-
nation of news" The ladies are vet un-
decided whether to regard this as COM
pliment or otherwise.
Make you coat, sir" said a suspi-
cious tailor to a suspected customer. ooh,
yes, sir, with the greatest pleasure.
There, just stand in that position, please,
and look right upon that notice while
take your measure" Customer reads
the notice Terms cash"
Recently the local paper at Grass Val
ley said "The prettiest girl in Grass
Valley doesn't carry herself straight
enough when promenading." For a
week after all the Grass Valley girls
stalked about like so many bean poles
and every girl said, That horrid paper
Ma, don't | walk straight"
1t Is reported that man went home
at about o'clock Wednesday mornino
and, using his umbrella as billiard cue,
smote his sleeping wife in the short rib,
crying pool" and sunk into sweet
slumber lie has since explained to his
WE that women can have no idea how
the cares of business will so metimes affect
mans brains.
j" ME some negro steamboatmen were
De ing paid OFT, the clerk inquired of each
one as he came to sign the payroll
III you write your name, or make an
~ lhe frst one said he could write
ms name ana the pen was handed to him
lie looked at the pen, scrutinized tho nov,
ron, and hesltated so long that the clarL
poked him IN Il cts SOP =