West-Jersey pioneer., 1875-08-26
THE TWO HEADACHES.

Smith, as he entered the breakfast room
with his hair rumpled, his chest collapsed
and his back rounded out in the shape O
the letter c. ''Such headache!"
Perhaps it was the cake you ate before
| going to bed," remarked his wife, Is she
poured the coffee.
I "Cake? There's nothing more wholesome
than cake before going to bed, especially
plum cake, answered Smith, dropping into
chair.
Mrs. Smith, feeling indisposed at that
matutinal hour for argument, assented.
"iry little tea,' suggested she.
Tea! an old maids remedy; no lea for
me.'
"Well, Coffee
Il don'tthink l want anything" groaned
Smith. ''Oh dear! l am going to have a
day Of it,
say, "WelI, that is the usual result of Z
night of it," but she closed hsr teeth and
bit off the exasperated and truthful rejoin-
der.
''Isn't this room awful hot ?'' asked
Smith, opening six doors without waiting
for reply, which, if uttered, would have
been that she was shiyerin3 with the
draughts.
Then seating himself at the table; "I
think l will have tea, Mrs. Smith; and ]
will eat piece Of oeefsteak, while I am
about it-in for penny, in for q pound.
0, dearw
81 think I'll come and sit in your room,
Mary" said Smith to his wife after the tea
and breakfast had gone down. sit looks
nice and pleasant here, and like to stay
with you when have the headache"
Mary turned her back that he need moi
see the smile lurking round her mouth al
| the conclusion of his sentence, and brought
= pillow to the sofa for his disorganizet
head.
"Not that-no, not that; it will onl,
heat my head. o, dear! Mary [solemnly
do you know l think l made mistake il
eating that beefsteak ?''
I Mary, with heroism which should plac,
her name in s'Fox's Book of Martyrs" die
not reply, 81 knew it at the time, Smith
/ and my only chance Of preventing you from
| eating was to refrain from asking you no
to eat; SO didn't say So
''Mary," said Smith, as she seated hersel
to sewing, ''don't you think I should fee
better if had jug of boiling water at m.
feet 20
| "Perhaps you would" said Mary, drop
ping her spools and thimble and buttons O
| the floor to hunt up The jug and hot waite
herself, for Smith had the opinion that
wife should attend personally to thes
| things, although three great fat servant
might sit sucking their thumbs in the kitcf
en- and cooking their heels on the range
"Perhaps you would"
/ sMary," asked Smith, after this arrange
ment was carried out, 'sdon't you think tn
bottle might be pushed little closer
don't feel it, except on one foot.
Il eyes" said Mary, dropping her wor
; once more. els that right ?''
+ "Oh, yes," answered Smith, rolling h
left eye in ecstacy, as the heat penetrate
the soles of his feet; show nice it is to hay
r you round when 1 am sick.''
The same funny look came round tt
corners Of Mary's mouth, but Smith, Bile
his obtuse soul, didn't see it.
"Mary," said Smith, ~ think 1 cou
!, 20 to sleep now if you would close tho
: curtains and things, and carry that CO.
, founded bird down stairs, and shut out ii
light
eyes," said Mary, ''and I'll take n
t sewing in the next room.''
"Do,'' said Smith.
And gathering up her work basket al
Smiths pants, that had several vital butte
| missing, and which he wished replace
:. Mary departed.
! "Mary,' said Smith, suddenly appearir
!; at the door of the room, cts no use.
don't feel bit better. I'm sure l doi
it know what to do. Do you really think
was the cake ?''
Mary's patience was waning. 81 knt
it, John-it always makes you sick. Dor
s you recollect asked you not to eat it at {
ID time ?'
Il "Well, all can say is" said Smith,
dent believe it. Oh, dear! where are
morning papers 20
That was another way of asking Mary
read them to him, which she did, and wi
out saying, Is Smith did on similar oc,
g sions:
e. ''Oh! there is nothing in the paper Il
morning but the same old tariff discussi'
in fact, they are quite dull-here they