The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1875-02-13

WIT AND WISDOM.
A client remarked 10 his solicitor .sYou
lare, writing ny bill o. very rough paper,
Never mind wA the replv " tbs
latter, " il has to Be Med before Il comes
into court"
A Jury in North Carolina. stsr La,,a
charged" in the usual manner Nv H.
honor, retired, when > whika iuroS van-
tured to ask colored associate IL he -
derstood the charge Of the Judge
Golly exclaimed the astonished
amendment, "he doesn't charge us muffin
for dat, does heY Why, l thought We
was gwine toget pay"
"A patron Of certain newspaDer oue.
said to the publisher
Ar. Printer, how is il that Won hava
never called on me for pay for your
pager n M,
\ oh Y said fine man of types. 1--WE new
er ask gentleman for money.
Z" Indeed, replied the patron. chow
DO you manage TO get along when they
don't pay ~
"why, said the editor, "after a Ger.
tain time we cOnelnde that he is mot a GEN.
tleMeps smh.Ahe Aak him y - ~ Y -. =.
"Ol-ahg yes IT sgea6! mn. Edit6F
please give me receipt, and hands him
". i Make my name all right on your
books"
Richard III. Stoddard, who has lost the
use Of his right hand, temporarily at least.
through inhammatory rheumatism. IA
learning to write with his left, and already
turns OF manuscript which printers think
more leglble than that of the late Horace
Greedy.
Items, Of the Cleveland Herald. saws
he never reads the detailed virtues of the
dead upon their tombstones, commencing
= here lies, but he thinks, 50 does the in
scription
An Indiana clergyman sued newspaper
for libel, and dropped dead within week.
The Detroit Free Press says these fellows
Will learn something BY and BY.
doctor and preacher were bandying
words on physical prowess
" One blow from my fist, said the d.
D., would show you the meaning OF
blue mass
i And one blow from mine" said the
Nj. D., would be new and cheap meth
" " spTedulIlR the BOSDel.
A gentleman, while walking in his gar
den, caught his gardner asleep under
tree. He scoided him soundly for his lazi
ness, and ended by telling him such a
sl1ggard was not worthy to enjoy the light
Of the sun"
" 1t was for that reason exactly, said
the gardener, that | crept up into the
shade
The Scientific 4mertcau deprecates the
practice Of promiscuJus kissiHg amongst
children, which, 1t urges, is a most sue
cesSful mode Of scattering diphtheria
through community.
A gentleman in Western city sitting IN
pew with lady with whom ne had for
merly been on terms Of intimate acuuaint-
ance, handed her Bible with Din stuck
through the following verse
And now | beseech thee, lady, not as
though wrote new commandment unto
thee, but that which we had from the be-
ginning, that we love one another"
After reading 1t she stuck the PIN
through the following verse, and handed
the book back to him
Having many Things towrite unto YOU.
| should not write with paper and ink; but
trust 70 come unto you, and speak face
% faca azthatsqpE Jag aAaN. h6fnil :
:" Now then" said q phyhieiAn, cKeerily,
to patient, "yOu have got along far
enough to indulge in a little animal food,
and
i No, you don't, Doctor" interrupted
the patient, I've suffered enough on your
Cruel and slops, and Id starve sooner
than begin on hay and oats.
= C-c-c-c can that p-p-p-parrot talk ~
asked suffering man Of German
Ven he don't talk so goOter as YOU, |
schop, by tam, his head OFF. n
A minister asked a tipsy fellow, leaning
up against fence, where he expected to
go when he died
" Il l cant get along any better than |
d. now, said he, " shan't go anywhere
III stay where ! am. o."
A hater Of tobacco told Aunt Chloe that
she could never enter the Kingdom of
heaven with the unclean breath Of a smoker
she answered. Why | spects | shall
leave my bretf behind me when 20 dar "
A little Vermont girl called at drug
store and said My mother wants ten
cents worth Of jumps. This astonished
the clerk. The child insisted that i was
Jumps she had been sent for but returned
70 her mother for further instructions.
Very soon she came back, and said X va
hops that she wanted.
Il is very cold weather, and yet lovers
do not see the sence Of hugging stove
Brooklyn Argus.