St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-04-09

Squibs.
y dre>>makcr> apprentice speaks of
her croSS-eyed lover .l> the fellow whose
looks are cut bias.
1t is noted that all great humoristS
are sober and srdate. with Il melancholy
east of cnunlcnancc. 1t is rather Srri-
ou> business to hc funny .- HcLmond
Enquirer.
The Cleveland Herald stands up for
thrce-card monte men. Some folks
when they have >crapcd Il little money
together. forget old friends. RocLrSter
Democrat.
Ii is time to stop talking about the
>otteulng Influence of women. y MaSS:i
chu>cttS man who has four wives has
just been t" the prnitentiary for steal
mg horses.
''Whl did You pass yesterday with
ont looking at me - said beautiful
woman To Tallrlrand. 'BccauSe mad
am. if | had looked could not have
passed.
\ PENNSYLVANIA boasts that he .
makes Il soap that would wash Il poll
tician'> character white ;i> SHOW" There
must hc II good deal of I've" about that
soap.
y t'e"r"iH convict WAS hanged recent
" tur killing the wrong man. The
right one Witnessed the ceremony.
When Il hlu>hing san Francisco bride
showed the check for II 900. 900 to her
husband. he burst into tears aud ex-
claimed. with intense fervor, And
even this shall not separate us ~
I a I
the suicides for the Year. says that there
We're twenty ''unatttudcd with fatal
results"
y French paper SAYS that not one
American in hundred has a handsome
chin This i due t" the tact that So
many ut nur fellow citizens give undue
time I" the cultivation of cheek.
Nh. Spiuk> is not going to do any
more in r"nundtumS. He asked his
uitc why hr was like Il donkey. and
~hc said because he was born 81 and he
SAYS the au>N"l is very different from
that.
John Henry. whose first (aud only)
hnr1 has Just been To Il toy shop, says
twas i Tin trumpet that knocked the
~lutlimg ont "t the walls of Jericho. and
mighty good reason t"I it, too.
Several passengers on the lower Mis-
~i>>ippi V"Ir attracted 10y the ;tlliga
tons lGI>king III the sunshine. Are
;hrN amphihi"uS. Captain ? asked Il
locker on. ''Amphihoms. thunder ~
answered the enthusiastic officer. they II
eat u hog u minute.
Nrlhr~ >;it"ri> has Joined the Wash
un"tnn Gymnasium. II is not the pun
tuI we have used that before hnt il
i uur anxiety i"r dear. darling Nellie.
~ hIch irrcSistihll imprls us t" remark
that these, ~ mnI>iics are Sartorisky.
''WhN Is 1t" asks an exchange, that
nearly every Senators wife 10 Wash
lngt"u i> Il handsome woman 1t l.
simply hcctu>c ncallN every Senators
wife. hu l. Gut Il handsome woman Is
l,tI at nome. f"Hricr J"H'ndi.
When Il gal crops her front hair, aud
pulls il down over hen forehead like i
+ MrNlrlu mustang. and then ties Il piece
. nt red velvet around hen neck. who can
unndcr at the numhrl OF pale faced
+ N"Im. mru that throw AWAY their aIn-
hlri"u. ,ud pass slrcplce> nights i'll try
m- To raise down ON their upper lips
hon>,S city Times.
e ..Hrrhcrt." said prrplrNrd mother,
~ hN j. II that You're not Il better boy :"
..W,U " said the. liitl,. fellow. Soierly.
4 I,,Li,,n mn INTO her fac. with his honest
.Ju,. .I,> Il .uu,,u,. the real rras,.n i,
., that don't Want 10 be- We think
the child gave the real reason why all
! ui us. biz ;> we'll a> little. irr not bet
= Ter than We are
..N.s sir" ,rII,.d = nrrorh.r IN :,
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