The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1875-04-09

Natural slippers EeIs,
The grapger'a lrumpS Spades

L ~
\ Natural slippers EeIs
The grapger'a trump Spades
j The state for editors Pencil -vaninl
Il takes the Irish to wake ihe
dead.
The stamp of civilization The
postage stamp.
Criminals should come 10 4 halt or
halter.
You can't take 4 trick with lhe
IauumP n fame
| should call . landlord y poor reIa.
tions his tenants.
The Lowell Courier calls total
abstinence address 4 water spout.
There Is nothing more depressing
10 thermometer than cold weather
When is i wife like a great coatg
Wheilher husband 10 wrapped up in
her.
II is very cold weather, and Yet
lovers do not see the sense oi hug.
giDg a stove.
How Patrick proposes Ia get over
bis le-blesseduess proposing 10
Bridge-it.
n come to steel, = as The fat said 10
the trap. And spring 10 embrace
you" as the trap replied to the rat.
Men who travel bare-fooled around
d newly carpeled bedroom often lind
themselves on the wrong tack
| There Is nothing more haxald0us
than TO be bothering woman with
foolish questions on wash day.
"You are TOO pert entirely, Miss,
said q teacher 10 pupil. nXour
whole dsmsanor is continuous mis-
demeanor,n
i Congress has cemetery Of It's own,
and, having far more criminals than
corpses, it is strange Il don't havo q
! penitentiary Of its own, also,
! We are constantly told that ths
evening wore on, but what the eve.
| ming were on such occasions we arc
not informed. Was II the close oi 4
summers dayf
4 Why are sheep the least moral Of
animals. Because they gambol in
their youth, spend mush of their time
on the turf, many Of them are black
legs, aud they all get ileeced at last.
"What you been a-doin'Y' asked
boy Of his playmate, whom he aaw
coming out Of the house with tears
in his eyes 1--WE been aschaain' q
birch rod round ms father \ was Che
anarling reply
A stingy husband accounted for all
, the blame Of the lawleabnees Of his
children in company BY saying his
| wife always gave them their own way.
"Poor thlngsl it's all have to give
) them," was the prompt reply.
!, eWhy, Ichabod, / thought yon got
Q married more'n q year ago. "NVoll.
!, Aunt Jerusha, il was talked 81, but ]
found out that The girl and all her
: folks were opposed 10 IL, and 50 I just
! gave 'em all the mittcn, and let the
. thing drop"
According 10 a Cincinnati paper
John Thomas was recently sued BY
J. Hester Prim for breach Of promise,
"John Thomas, come into Courtl'
shouted the constable "John Thom
y as needn't come 10 70 court me anA
J, more,' said Hester, primly.
= "Why do they call the people whs
Hive III Tho South Sea islands 'capni
I balls I" asked an old lady 81 a sail
q or HBccauso they live on other peo
I, pie, Y answered the SAILOR Then nj,
I. son-in-law must be q caRnihal = sai'
= she pensively, "for he lives on me-
n Recently the paper a. Grass Valle.
4 said; sThe pretliest gigl IN Graa
" Valley doesn't carry herself slraigh
II enough when promenading." For
I week after all the Grass Valley gIrl
! stalked about like so many bean polel
and every girl said, "Ihat horrid pc
perl Ma don't walk straight"
n. A priest, tic other day. who wa
a examining confirmation class in III
NJ South OF ireland, asked the question
ne nWhat Il the sacrament of inatrimC
Iis nyT A little girl at tho head 81 Ii
Ia class answered, "Tis a stats Of tol
"a ment into which sowls enter 10 prs
IA pare them for another and bette
ld world.a Being said The prizes
N "the answer for purgatory-" nv
10 her down" saws the curate Hput he
M down 10 the iut Of the class "l,as
4. her alone said tho priest "lor AM
n thing you Or know to the contrary
Il. she may bo perfectly right
Cd A country schoolmasier had tw
o. pupils, to one of whom he was pa
m iiaI, aud 10 tho otter sewers. On
'st morning il happened that thess tw
a boys were late, and were called up /
m account for Il. "You must have hear
he the bell, boys; why did you not comel
he "Please sir, said the iavorite. n va
W. dreaming that l was going TO lIudaoi
Is and ! thought the school bell was h
be steamboat belt VERY well,n sal
at the master, glad Of any pretaxt 10 q
So cuse the iayoriie. .And nov, eir
to turning 10 the other, "what have so
mt 10 sayYD "please Air. said the pnr
cd zled boy, sI--I waa waiting % Ae
To- Tom OFF,
n. There arc various orders of beauty