The Van Buren press., 1875-06-22


with frowns and lowering glances, and
they never come again. Should he in
vite some one to tea he may reckon to q
certainty that the table will not be set be-
fore 10 O'Clock.
He may 10 what he will to drive her
off. SIZE Will do worse. His household
has become purgatory to him. He be
gins to pass his evenings at the club or
at the 'lodgc,' but in less than week
his nghtkey has disappeared. lie has
another made; this vaMishcs likewise.
One day he observes tnat the old lady s
horn specs have dropped from the table
to the floor. He approaches the table,
and accidentally treads with his full
weight upon them, The glasses are pul
verized. On the following day his CT
gars--a choice brand Of Figaros, by the
way-are all completely saturated with
, coal oil.
Sometimes he is seized by an almost
irresistible ycarnins to sti.etto the drag
on, or poison il, or hurl 1t from his win
dow heights; and the monster is only
saved through the prayers and love and
patience Of The mediator, Charlette.
"Oh, how can that she devil be the
mother Of such an angel?' Simpson oft
en- cries in apcrlect frenzy.
He learns that his mother.in-law has
great dread of mice, He executes glce'
ful pirouet,c rs a sudden thought strikes
him. That evening he fctches home Q
huge box, swarning with mice He en-
terlains slight repugnance for these an
imals himself, but he conquers it, for II
is insignificant beside that which he feel:
for Mrs Bayard He takes one of tho
lttc creatures from the box TO show to
his wife The old lady shIinks back IN
loathing With his usual carelessncss h'
lets the animal escape from his hand II
leaps to the floor, and disappears under
the sofa With \ shrek Of horror tho
poor woman springs up from the sofa
and rushes out Of the room.
Simpson catches the little animal ane
kisses it, He would kiss rat that drove
of his mothe-rih law
Encouraged by his success, he now re
solves to devote all his leisure hours tt
the culture Of mice; but on the very mex
day at noon, the old lady enters the room
in all her solcmnity and grandeur, carry
ing an immense tabby eat in her arms
Simpson docs not let this fri2htcn hin
into surrender. lie says to himself ;
cat can cat ten mice daily very well, h'
, will get twenty others should she ca
! twenty, he will get forty more. He feels
it his mission to stake his entire fortune
on mice
!, With the aid OF his little allies he sooi
succeeded in banishing his mother-in law
from the sitting room But tho war grows
more and more embitlered. The impla
I cable beIdamc procures another cat. will
poison and mouse traps to boot--da'll
, he lugs home another box with micc bot!
, gray and white Finally he even intro
duccs II couple Of rats. lie is determined
, to carry on the contest even il he has tc
r telegraph to Paris and Pckin for further
supplies,
r Mrs Major Bayard does not venture
beyond the outskirts of her room, ant
issues hence her orders for Charlotte ant
, the houscmaid.
Charlotte informs her husband that thu
mcrciless rodents are annihilatng every
thing in the kitchen and pantry; aye. ar
: building their nests in the wardrobe, ant
pcrpctra,ipg other dcvastations.
"Let them devour all !" he heroicall,
cries I" can repurchase all that the,
destroy, but the days, the weeks, thu
T months, which your mamma has gnawco
. and eaten from my existence, can nevc
bny back again! | shall not yield unit
. the mice have also devoured mc.'
, Finally, one evening, Charlotte bursts
| in upon her husband with the announce
| mcnt that her mother had rented house
) and will move away in the morning
Simpson clasps his young wife in hi.
+ arms. and dances insanely around thu
room
e The next day mothcr.in law, rcall,
takes her departure, bag and baggage
Simpson believes himself born anew IL
the Joy and gratitude Of his heart. he pre-
= scnis Charlotte with costly velvet cloak
+ donates twenty five dollars to the poor
c aud goes to church the following Sunday
! to pour forth his thanksgivings to Provi
c dcDcc for its mercy
Now, for the first time, he feels at h0m'
c in his own house, and enjoys the bliss o
c his charming wfe's society wholly unmo
Tested
; Por months the mother in.law CAM
not into the house Of the son.in law
But when. on one suspicious occasion,
: little grand son was ushered into thu
world, and Charlotte, for some reason O.
other, could not go forth to visit her
c then. at last, she again entered the hous
where, in spite of her manly struggle, sh
: had been forced TO succumb Mr.. Simp
9 son received her with due solcmnity, an'
since then relations of tolerance, il no
Q of fricndlinoss, have been established be
+ tween them Mrs. Bayard never nov
r remains after s o'clock, and seldom stay
TO tea.
The author Of these lines Is aware tha
{ many u mother in law will mentally ant
: profoundly analhemaiizc him for wha
} he has written about their species. Blu
will the good mothers in.law, those wht
exist peacefully and happily, like minis
tering angels, in the homes of their chill
! drcn, willing to sacrifice their own habit,
and especial cnjoymen,s to the happiness
, Of the young people, will they also bea
resentmcntl They will not, we arc SUR
of it Uoreriy.
Ilrn MISTAKE. "A young lady was yes
,a,l,, s,,nliuy IN thu wharf Mt the foo