The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-07-08
GossIs.

Idui boy yCOn mas iurnl5neu Wator prOol
of his floating ability.
Boyton incurred floating debt in ma
king his experiments.
Keep your horse fat; don't allow any
one to get lien on him.
No man can lick postage stamp with
out disturbing the piece.
What portions of the body are the best
travelers-The two wrists.
There is fellow in town actually too
lazy to "labor under a mistake"
Niagara is a hack-driving and shame
less city, which rejoices over its own
falls.
Micawber, always waiting for some-
thing to turn up, never thought of a
plow.
An Englishman, hard up, has just sold
the contents Of his wine cellar for
8l50,147
A rich mine of lead has been found on
Powder creek, Iowa. The two generally
go together.
If your horse is in the habit of kicking,
use low dashboard, and your horse
will soon get over 1T.
The paper mills and printers should
thank General Sherman. His memoirs
will bring out scores of replies.
An English composer is engaged upon
an oratorio to be called "The Deluge."
He can not complain of dry subject.
There are only two hundred men in
Connecticut who have not invented some
sort of clothes-pin, or some kind OF salye
or liniment.
The only thing that will discourage a
California flea is sledge-hammer blow
oftop the head, but he is ready tor busi-
ness next day.
Experimental philosophy, asking a
young lady to marry you. Natural phi
losophy, saying you were only joking
when she refuses you.
The old maids of Athens, Ca, are on
the war-path. They've actually request
ed the Legislature to make it special
offence for any widow to marry again.
"What are you going to put our ages ?"
some very decidedly grOwn-up daughters
were heard anxiously inquiring of their
papa, as he was making out his family
census report.
DR.. Gross advocates a return to phle-
botomy. Those who have paid up their
DOCTORS bills are inclined to think that
the profession has never quite given up
tl6 process OI pleeulnS.
Mother-"Now, Gerty, be a good girl.
and give Aunt Julia a kiss, and say
good n gnt. Gerty-No, no! il kiss her,
she'll box my ears, like she did papa's
last night" Tableaux.
Reproying youth for the exercise of
his fists, schoolmaster said: 1--WE fight
with our heads here" The youth re-
f1ected for brief while, and re piled that
butting hadn't been considered fair at
his last school.
One of our adopted citizens seeing a
bunch of bananas, the other day, stood
in silent astonishment for about min
ute, and then broke out: 'Begorra,
them Yanks beat the devil, and now they
nail pickles 10 stick"
Never feed horse chestnuts to chestnut
horses, nor horse sorrel to sorrel horses:
you can give cream to cream horse, ii
you like and the horse likes it. 1t is not
pitch hay to cream horse, however.
A correspondent of the St. Louis Times
dates his letters at 'fhe East Window
sThe West Window and aThe South
Window" but the patient editor has
sufficient command of himself to keep
from throwing them out of the back win
dow.
A fussy and doyer-particular young lady
was having her photograph taken, and
just as the operator had got her down to
the s'perleclly stilP' business, she sud
denly threw up her arms and exclaimed: |:
r"There, ] forgot to put my hustle on"
A lecturer addressing an audience,
contended with tiresome prolixity, that
art could not improve nature, until one
of his hearers, losing all patience, set
the whole room in roar by eXclaiming:
"How would you look without your
wig"
The London Tavern was offered for
sale the other day, but was bought in,
after lively competition, for GS4 500, to
which sum the bidding. had advanced
from first offer of f65,000. Ten years
ago the property changed proprietors
for 94l, 1000.
Mrs. Podgers detected her husband
burying an old saucepan in the back
yard the other morning, and asked him
what he was about. ''Nothing much, y
returned Podgers; s'only It's high time
we were getting ready to send some Rev.
olutionary relics to the Centennial.
Fire was lately discovered in berth
on steamboat in England which had
originated in the heat Of the sun-one Of
the glass "dead-lights" concentrating
the rays directly ON the spot and acting
as a burning glass. How many vessels
at sea may have been fired in that way.
In digging for coal at Wyandotte,
Kansas, the workmen have struck a
vein OF gas which, in its escape, pro-
duces roaring noise which may be
heard long distance. 1t is estimated
that at least 250,000 cubic feet of inf am
mable gas escape from the aperture
daily.
1t is related of Mrs. Mary Wolf, who
died in Baltimore a few days since, that
when in 1912 her husband had charge of
pontoon, 80 loyal and staunch patri-
OF was his wife that at home she kept q
quantity OF powder to blow up the house
and perish, rather than see the British
troops come and take possession OF it,,
A Bridgeport husband, now travelling.
received letter from his wife the other
day, in which she called him ssperfek
broot." He wrote back that If she didn't
improve in her spelling before he re-
turned home he would apply for a d.
vorce, and she now attends all the
''spelling matches" within radius OF
twenty miles.
The congregation Of colored church
at Edgefeld, Tenn, were horrifed the
other day at finding underneath their
house OF worship d keg of powder. which