The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-06-01
DAVE JOHNSTON'S TRUNK.

DAVE JOHNSTON'S TRUNK.
The coming Golden Drawing recently de-
manded Dave Johnston's services out West,
and, while preparing for his departure, it was
limited that he had better purchase an extra
trunk, since his baggage must include lot of
books, papers, advertising, etc. Dave re-
volved the matter through the cogs of his
powerful mind, and finally evolved an idea.
"You see, said he, cit always costs you q
quarter to handle trunk while travelling, no
matter what size it is ; so I'll buy only one
trunk, large enough to hold books, clothes
and all"
He chuckeled at the brilliancy Of this eco
nomical idea, and went straightway down to
old Leatherlungs and bought the trunk. cit
wasn't very large trunk, only good-sized
one, he said, and indeed in the wilderness
of trunks which gorge old Leatherlungs'
warehouse, its proportions appeared compar-
atively modest He ordered it sent to his
house, but was surprised a few hours later to
discover it at his Office. The man said he
found it impossible to get it through the
front door of the residence without taking it
apart" tearing it down." he said. There it
was in the Office, however, and Dave spent
several days making short excursions around
and looking up at it admiringly.
Shortly another idea was evolved. He
sent for Toby Hart and ordered his name
painted upon it. Toby looked, whistled,
nodded afirmatively and went away. He re-
turned soon after with coil Of rope and some
scantling. "What are you going to do with
that ?" asked Dave. "Why, swing scat
folding for the top so can mark it, p" answered
Toby, savagely. Somewhat saddened at this,
Dave Immediately went out to see man, and
during his absence the trunk was marked.
Friends dropped in the Office. each with an
ejaculation, "Whew what trunk -" Pc
titioned off q private Office, have you r
"who's your architect ?" "New refrigerator p
etc.
Dave fairly grew green with annoyance.
That's not very large trunk-only good
size, and you see it always costs quarter,
etc, :" and SO on in the way of explanatory as
perity, which increased with his prosecutions.
At last the packing day came. In went the
books, papers, etc., then his clothes; but q
huge fathomless void still yawned. More
books and papers. More clothes. Still
boundless vacancy in its bosom. Still more
clothes, more papers, then his family clothes
finally mattress, two or three dozen table
cloths, and yet the gluttonous trunk re-
manned unappeased.
Dave was in dilemma, but the mental
cogs were equal to the emergency. He
ordered the doors and windows closed, and
when they were again opened the trunk
stood there, ready packed and strapped. To
be sure, an Office desk and two chairs were
missing, while the floor was Uttered with
splinters, but nobody noticed this, as Dave
proudly exhibiting it to VISITORS reiterated,
"You see, it always costs you quarter to
handle trunk, irrespective of size, and the
best way is to buy large trunk, not toe
large, only good sized trunk, and-lets &c
see man, boys"
Saturday last Dave was to have left. Tick
cts in pocket, satchel in hand, elate with ex
pectation, he stood tip-toe on his threshold
like Mercury upon the heaven-kissing hill
and, brandishing quarter in the eyes OF
passing contraband, ordered him to 'shoulde
that trunk" and follow him to the railroad
depot. Contraband tackled the obstacle, bu
it refused to bulge. He struggled ane
groaned, but to no other purpose than attract
ing the attention of two other contrabands
who lent him hand and a crowbar. Blu
that trunk resolutely refused to fly. 1t chung
to its base as firmly as did James FitzJamea
rock or the adamantine hills.
In vain Dave grew hurried and spurree
them on to renewed efforts with mild but Wig
orous explosives. 1t still stood rooted to the
Office floor as firmly as the rock of ages. III
was not q large trunk-only a good sizsd
trunk" as Dave occasionally and APOLOGIZE
cally remarked to the crowd of persons wht
had assembled to see him of, and who accom-
panied the ineffective struggles of the contra
bands with such assuaging commentaries al
"Better send to Soria's for pair of timber
wheels !" that trunk wont 60 in the baggage
car, have to couple it on behind the train.
"Splendid trunk, but ought to have beer
built with brown stone front to it.
"Cut few windows and it would make
good hotel" "Pity the baggage-master: jerl
his arms right out by the roots" Have te
put the car in the trunk, instead of trunk If
the Car" etc. But why prolong the agony
Why become Economically elated over an
other mans misfortunes? Suffice it to say ht
missed the train, and has since employed 9
force of his laboring friends to unpack tn.
trunk. The work at last accounts was pro
crossing slowly but satisfactorily. The Office
furniture had been successfully recovered
the mattress had been penetrated and tn
lower strata of papers was in sight
new and smaller trunk has since been pur
chased, and negotiations have been opened