Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-04-29
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

The original greenbacks-frogs.
-Furrin' parts-Alaska and Hudson's
Bay.
-Pie-plant and spring suits are again
in vogue.
Men who never do wrong seldom do
anything.
The latest thing in front-door locks
night-keys.
Occupation is the great safeguard;
idleness is sure to run to weeds.
Prosperity is no test of character; it is
adversely that surely finds us out.
The smallpox and affectation both
ruin many very handsome faces.
While we are inclined to forgive too
little we are apt to forget too much.
He was Warm Spring Indian the
moment he sat down on hot stove.
Big Cow, one of the sub-chiefs of the
Arapahoe tribe of Indians, stands seven
feet high in his moccasins.
In answer to a correspondent we state
that the reason why Cardinals wear red
hats is the same that makes millers wear
white ones, namely: to keep their heads
warm.-T'0ledo Blade
Don't sit up nights to see how long
that young gentleman stays with the Young
lady across the street. If she thinks him
worth the oil burned it is none of YOUR
business; he isn't making love to any of
your folks onhers Gazette.
Was it the Philadelphia Ledger which
recently contained this?
Our little Johnnys on the shining shore,
He doesn't wear his little pants no more;
His little peg-top now he never huns,
He died cutting of his little gums
He stood alone at the bedside of his
departing wife, and seemed the very pict-
ure Of woe. John, you'll do the right
thing when I'm gone? You won't send
me off to cheap country churchyard-
you'll bury me in Greenwood, John ~
go Jane, Jane, how could you doubt it q,
sobbed the wretched man, gathering his.
nose in the folds of his pocket handker-
chief and wringing it as if his heart would
break. "Bless you, bless you, my hus-
band-and let it be in a fashionable quar-
ter of the cemetery"
=" Mark Twain used 10 run g boat
down here, didn't he?" inquired trav-
eler of a Mississippi pilot lately. "Mark
Twain 30 repeated the old riverman, 4" Mark
Clemens? Wal, yes, he did try pilotin'
yer awhile but he couldn't do it, couldn't
do tall, hadn't the genus. But I tell We
what" continued the grizzly veteran, Civ
ing his wheel twist, " if ye'd a-gin him
boats 'nough while he was a-practicin'
he'd a-clared the river of snags, for
shuah."
Does it spoil children to praise them.
Judicious praise is sunshine to the child,
and there is no child that does not need it.
1t is the high reward Of ones struggle to
do right. Thos. Hughes says that you
can never get mans best out of him
without praise. You certainly can never
get child best out Of him without praise.
Many a sensitive child dies of a hunger
for kind communication. Many child,
starving for praise that parents should
give, runs off eagerly after the designing
fattery of others.
The Yolo (Cal) Mail, some days be-
fore the 1st of April, told the following
goose story: "While hunting in the tules
near the sink of Cache Creek on Monday
last, Abe Green, an old hunter, discovered
a petritied wild goose, standing upright,
with legs buried about one-half in the
adobe soil. He thought at first it was liv-
ing, and, creeping closely up to it, fired
his gun at it, but the bird did not bulge
an inch. He thought it very strange and
walked up to it, He found it dead, and,
in trying to pick it up, was astonished at
its immense weight. 1t had turned to
stone, and mark on its wing, near the
forward joint, showed where the shot had
struck it, knocking piece off He man.
aged to raise it up out of the ground, and
when he laid it down apiece dropped from
its breast, disclosing hollow inside, from
which pure, clear water commenced run
ming. Its feathers were very natural, and
its appearance was calculated to deceive
so lifelike. He took it to his cabin, down
the canal, few miles back of Washing
ton, where it can be seen by those who
wish to see such a strange and unusual
sight"