Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-05-26
ABERNETH.
Some of the Excentricities of the Celebrated
Physician.

Sohe Oh the EXcenIrlCItIeS OF the celebrated
Physician.
| From Chambers journal.
In Abe1nethy, we come to one of
those rough, eccentric physicians of
whose kindness innumerable good
stories are told. Like DR.. Johnson he
bad warm heart under rough exterior.
Though he could be absolutely brutal
to young ladies and affected to misses,
he is said to have been an amiable man,
beloved of bis family and friends. But
to tiresome patients and N blades imagin-
aires, he was at times the personation
of rudeness: "Sir, that's enough; 90
home and read my book" To a lady
who complained of low spirits, he would
say: Don't come to me, go and buy
a skipping-rope Sometimes, how
ever, he met his match. Curran, one
day, came to consult him, and was
rather difused in describing his
symptoms.
"sir," said Abernethy, "you had
better tell me your whole life" Upon
which Curran sat down, and seriously
began: GO / was born in the year,
in the county Of, Ireland" and
Abernethy burst into laugh, and en-
tered properly into his case. A lady
determined to be brief, and to humor
the tyrant, one day entered his con-
sulting-room, and thrusting out an in
jured hand, merely said: "My thumb,
sir. You, madam, % he exclaimed in
admiration, &C are the only sensible
woman I ever had for a patient.''
A gentleman equally determined, be-
ing roughly interrupted, locked the
door, put the key in his pocket, and in
sisted on being heard. Abernethy
smiled, and plimented the patient
on his resolution. To a gentleman who
gave linn EGO to re-attend his wife, he
said: Are you the fool who gave me
EGO the other day? Go home and tell
your wife to dine earlier and eat less;
and do you keep your money in your
pocket, for no doctors advice is worth
92O. 10 lady he said severely: "Go
home and tell your husband he will not
have wife this day six MONTHS
Abernethy was no respecter of per-
sons. Poor or rich, his patients had to
submissively take their turn, or they
might go elsewhere. An angry noble
man once broke into his room, and
stated his rank and title in full, and
asked Ahernethy if he knew who he
was. To this Abernethy replied:
" And I, sir, am Jonn Abernethy. sur
geon- lecturer of st. Bartholomew
hospital, ETC., and if you wish to con-
suit me, am now ready to hear what
you have to say in return, sir" The
Duke of Wellington, angry at having to
wait his turn, abruptly entered his
room. Abernethy asked him how he
had entered. "By the door, sir"
"Then," said the irascible doctor, 81
recommend you to make your exit the
same way" He is also said to have re-
fused to attend George ", till his lect-
ure at the hospital was over. The
point on which Abernethy most insisted
was the stomach, and through that i'm
portant organ he declared all diseases
could be cured. The celebrated bis
cults which he used to eat and recon-
mend were not SO called after him, but
from the baker who first invented them.
That there was kindness in Abernethy no
one can deny who remembers the story
OF how he returned all his fees to a poor
widow who had consulted him, and
added ESQ to it to enable her to give
her sick child a daily ride? He
had horror of operations, and reioiced
when the evil could be averted without
such rough and terrible remedies.