, 1875-08-22

ulAQ EEQAbu&ObF ~ Il Iva - AA~AA AAA
ho turned ail his wealth and influence into
channel for doing good, still it was THROWN
words away. Afr. Moody had 20 answer but tn
epigrnmmatio " I wun't" And wa think goo
doal the batter OF him that he 1ooula give \
other.-Puli Man Gazette ,
BREVtTIES.
l. Kapaas preacher puts 1t in this Way: "Wi
you lot 81 hrsast-pin drug you down to perd
tion7"
'A1y ontbankfu1 hearera." asid q backweod
proachar, 4syou air like ulno hogs eatin acorn
They never look up to ice where the Acorn
come FROM"
A little boy in Springfield, aftor his 'cnstomar
evening prayer, night Or two ago, continued
"and bless mamma and Jenny and Uncle Ben
n.y." adding, after nome OTIS pause, the explain
atory remark. "His name is Hopkins"
Auezro suddenly finding himself under a fir
during q akirznish in the late War-prnyed. Thi
is what he prayed "Oh Lordy! il you're che
guine to do anythin' for tlis old nigser, now
your time."
Hairdresser to youthful client: "Now, m
little gentleman, kneel on this chair, please
Little gentleman (~ho is having his hair cut To-
the first time, doubtfully): land must say N,
prayers2"
Ut. Louis Republican: She WAS an athletic
and deeply religions woman, and ''Here rase
| my Ebenezar." she always gang softly, as she
lifted her husband, Ebenexer johnson, of the
stoop with an application Of her foot to his coat
tails, when he came bone slightly inehriated.
4 little Bangor girl, after returning from
church sunday, was found ut the washbowl,
! sprinkling her dolls head She excused heraelt
| to her mamma by saying that the minister told
| them that all children who would go to Heaven
should be baptized, and she 4Tasn't going to risk
''Sissy" any longer.
The youthful American hanale missionary is
always an enthusiast. In making prepa, ations
for ber departure she often indu1ges in such
memoranda as this, on the Hy-leaf OF her New
Testament stake half = dozen crimping
irons, three or four additional hair-braids, and
as many extra bustles as possible"
It is seldom, easy to see the hidden bcnefac-
ton in TINT which is apparent af1iction. A boy
by his pastor that !" doubtless tho insects we're
made with good end in VIEW" when the young
scamp replied. IT can't see it. whether 1t is ID
view or not. At any rate, I dou't like the end
feel."
4 country clergyman, just recovering from the
effects OF a severe boil on his nose. stopped an
urclin near Fort Green. yesterday, and asked
him the way to the corner OF Fulton and Ciinton
streets. The lad glanced at him s1spiciously
moment and said: W Well, xer needn't 20 there,
mistes; there Amt no En-nil on that corner"
Brooklyn Argus.
Eva, did you hear that lsdy's name that's
como to see mamma ?" IS Yes. Mrs. Abel.''
II wonder it she's the mother Of those two
boys mamma told US OF. And one Of them was
naughty, you know, and killed his brother"
- What nonsense, Eva Why, that Unopened
ever so long ago! II SHE'S anybody, abe must
be their grandmother !"-Punch.
A large number OF 5oung lady missionaries are
about to leave tho United States under the
auspices Of the American Doard. It is when one
OF these lovely creatures arrives in his domioions
that the cannibal chieftan most regrets his
abandonment Of the good old customs. It sad
dens him to think that he gave up . missionary
diet ere tho tough old pioneers OF Christondom
we're supplemented by juicy sylphs-
It was the late Charles G. Finnsy, then in the
full vlGor Of his powers, aud with every feature
charged aud shining With tho solemnity and tho
elevation Of his mission, who go impressed the
small boy OF household he visited, that the
youngster, creeping .out from under the hall
table after the evangelist had gone, exclaimed,
in awe-struck tones, ''Mother, was that God ?"
$50 you have been ont driving all the after
noon, Mr. Willis ?" Yes and We had delight
full time" "Any ladies in the party?" "Oh,
Miss c., do you think We could be so sinful as
to take ladies' out driving on q 6unday2 Oh
Stopped at Conklipg's. on the lake, for nice
little game supper; then We opened Two or three
bottles of vine at MFers' and Moons on the way
back. No, ladies, oh, no. Only quiet, te1lg-
ious picnic"
Dibbs WAS remarkiug on tombstone inscrip-
tions, and said: When I'm gone from down
here, I'd Just Tanc nothn more on my slab than
f1Sr EreS +hut rnr Raaoa ffy.
eth" ''Yes, ssid old Turnpenny, who stood
By, "that would be as big lie as it you were to
write it on the back OF them notes o youtn that
I've been holdin' for seven years baek!" It |
didu't suggest itself to Dibbs to continue his |
tombstone remarks any farther just then.
country clergyman who had been accus-
toned to minister to the spiritual needs Of q
congregation in the back-woods, Was called to |
occupy the pulpit OF an absent metropolitan |
brother. The day being excessively bot and his /
sermon exceediugly long, he made bis prepara-
tions accordingly. He first removed his cravat |
and then his collar and cuffs, and then his coat |
and was proceeding to get rid OF bis rest, when
there was stir among the worshipers, and one
Of them, rising said. in deep. deliberate voice:
II don't know what may be the brothers. inten-
ton, but perhaps it might as we'll be understood
before he goes any further, that this isn't
bath-house." He preached with his vest 6n.-
Brooklyn argus.
Mrs. Miliss has very hdgetty boy named Sam.
He don't mean wrong, but he can't help it. Ma
ture turned him out With too much quicksilver
in his blood. Mrs Mil]iss took Sam to church
last Sunday, and was ushered into a pew in |
front Of nervous old lady who had evidently
come there to worship her Creator. As SANS
head didn't reach above tho back OF the seat, he |
wobble about as usual. The old lady endured It
for soma timo with Spartan fortitude, but when
Sam, having piled up three hymn-books, q New
Testament, two catechisms, and an old edition