Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-11-25
M,.cellaneous.

Partisan ladies are said to slook
like pencils covered with raiment."
aYou'll build the fires or I'll be
widow" is the way the Fat Contribu-
tors wife talks.
Our devil 'slifted'' the first stickful
of type he ever set, and 'slifted" it
successfully too-into the ''space'
box.
The only thing children can't see
partiality in is who gets the biggest
end of the bootjack when the OLD
lady gets mad.
The schoolmaster who sat down on
the abusiness end" of pin that had
been ingeniously fixed on his chair,
rose like Phoenix.
An Indiana man picked up wild
cat in his barn in place Of an Afghan.
He detected the difference in the mil
lionth part of second.
An old lady in Detroit, hearing
that American Girl was dead, re-
marked: sPve allus said that this
tight lacing would lay 'em out some
day."
Some papers are always talking of
their independence and sneering at
"organs. Isn't it better to be an
organ than lyre?-Alta California.
"Patrick," said an old gentleman
to his servant, "we are all creatures
of fate" "Well, if it wasn't for fate,
how the divil could we walk, sure%
Cincinnati Saturday Night.
We shall never smile again until
we exchange photographs with the
young man that put shoemaker's wax
on the benches of the front portico OF
this office.-Easto7e Free Press.
A Detroit woman who was turned
out of her house for non-payment of
rent, went out in good style, putting
on silks and jewelry, and having her
hair frizzed in extra style for the oc-
casion.
A down country farmer who put in
a half acre with turnips last summer,
says they didn't bring him cent.
He should try onions next time. They
always bring scent.-No'risto,cn
Herald.
Why was the cleansing of the Au
gean stables like a piece of ancient
Mexican pottery ware? Because it
was an Aztec kind of job. Voice
of the speaker choked with emotion.
Prairie city Herald.
This is the way the newspapers talk
in Louisiana: "If that convicted
thief and robber, Jim Walker, wants
any fuss with us he can have steel or
buckshot in unlimited quantities by
poking his nose around our corner"
A New York merchant has been
detected measuring thirty four inches
to the yard. Two inches is nothing
on towel, but it tells heavily on a
wooden shirt when the thermometer
drops down.-DetrOit Free Press.
A lady put her watch under her
pillow the other night, but couldn't
keep it there because it disturbed
her sleep. And there, all the time,
was her bed-ticking right underneath
her, and she never thought of that at
all.
If there is anything that will bring
tears to the eyes of an Indian tobac
co sign it is to witness young lady
undergoing the trying ordeal Of en-
deavoring to bring fallen clothes
line, full of clothes, to a realization
of its solemn duty.
The scatteration of damp Autumn
leaves on Saturday was POLITICALLY
melancholy, but not half so melan
choly as it was to notice how all
mans carefully gathered theological
ideas were scattered by sitting down
upon their treacherous slipperiness.
Easton Free Press.
Reporters should always be even
tempered men, but when one rushes
wildly ten squares to get vivid ac-
count of a man breaking his leg, he
may be excused if he can't find any
words in the dictionary to suit the
occasion when he discovers it is a
wooden leg.-Easton Free Press.
say, Sambo, where did you git de
shirt studs?" "In de shop, to be
sure "Yah, you just told me yon
hadn't no money" "Dat's right. "
SHOW did you git 'em den?' "Well,
/ saw on a card in de window, collar
studs so went in and collared en-"
Ohio Valley Neaos.
The Yonkers Gazette wisely re-
marks: "When you see young mar
ried man contemplating baby car
riages with a calm and thoughtful
eye, you may reasonably infer that
the matrimonial sky is bright, serene,
and little sonny" But "you had
daughter" not be too sure of that.
NorristoDn Herald.
The Shelbyville Ky. Republican
says that the worst case of selfish
ness that it has been permitted to
present to the public, emanated from
a youth who complained because his
mother put bigger mustard plaster
on his younger brother than she did
on him, after they had been eating
melons and hard apples.
A white minister at colored we'd
ding said, "On such occasions as this
it is customary to kiss the bride, but
in this case we will omit it, To this
unclerical remark the indignant
bridegroom very pertinently replied:
''On such occasions it is customary
to give the minister ten dollars, but
in this case we will omit it,
A Washington telegram says the
sugar refners continue in much
trouble about Secretary Bristow's or
der reducing the drawback. But as
long as the Secretary doesn't issue
an order reducing the spullback," the
ladies will be able to get along-which