Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1875-09-17
Number 43.
ALL SORTS.

A Colorado woman beats the b.ss
drum for brass band.
Queen Victoria discourages pullback
dresses, but admires the statue of the
Greek Slave.
"Why don't you kill off more old hcnss"
inquired friend of jersey farmer, The
latter leaned over lhe fence, and after
eyeing his interrogator ; while, solemnly
replied, "Summer boarders.''
Captain Webb is confident he will yet
swim across the English Channel because
lie is Webb footed. But in his first at
tempt he made ducks and brakes OF his
hackers money. The next time let Webb
foot it.
A country mother visiting Detroit with
her daughter. girl Of fifteen. said to the
child who was about drinking glass of
soda water ''Now. Mary, be careful.
Don't gulp it down at three swallows and
get exploded all TO pieces by the gas. but
sip, sip and don't run any risks"
The Empress Eugenic sent Gladstone
leautlful photograph of herself the other
day, and the old man was SO tickled that
he told his butler confidentially that he be-
lieved he'd see if lie couldn't get IN his
work there some time
'Man,' says Victor Hugo, twas the
conundrum of the eighteenth century:
woman is the conundrum Of the nineteen
tn century," We can't guess her, but
we'll never give her up-no, neyer.-lCol-
umbia Is. c } Union Herald.
The best thing TO give your enemy is
forgiveness; to your opponent, tolerance;
TO friend, your heart; to your child, u
good cxamp'e; TO your father, Difference;
to your mother, conduct that will make
her proud of you; to all men, charity; to
yourself, respect.
A country girl near Utica few days
ago mistook the meaning Of young man
who was looking up pickers for his faith
er's hop yard, and when asked if she was
engaged, swectly said: Not yet, but al.
ways thought it would he pleasant The
young man rode home quickly, and dreanl-
ed all night OF breach of-promise trials.
A little Bangor girl, after retu nlng
from church Sunday, was found at the
wash5owi sprirkllng her dolls heal. Sh.
excused herself to her mamma by saying
that the minister told them that all chill
drcn who would 90 to Heaven should b..
baptized. and she wasn't going to risk
Sissy" any longer.
| The national grandchild will be trans
ported across the Atlantic next week. 1t
came over to Long Branch to be born,
and, having accomplished its object.
now returns to perfidious Albion, whcrs
the tail of the British lion will bs usc-
ful in keeping the flies off of 1t.
Mr. Beecher being introduced to Qla.
ker gentleman at the White Mountain.
said to him: II understand your belief
deprives you of some of the pleasures Of
this life" The other replied: 1T shields
US from some of its temptations, ALSO"
-(Bos.on Globe.
Nine. Rsttazzi Is the latest victim Of
the anecdOte mOngers. They say Size
was found not long ago sobbing hys:e4i.
Ically over a volume which was lying in
her lap, and which was neither poem nor
romance, tut prosac city directory.
Alas? it contained the names of Luu,-
Der Of men who Lad never been in
love with her.
A Milwaukee man made three unsuc.
ccssful attempts to blow his brains out,
and then his wife said to him:
Don't try it again, John; you haven't
get any,"
He goes about now saying that he owes
his life to that woman.
A Frenchman learning the English laa.
guage complained Of the irregularisy of
the verb ITO CO." the present tense Of
which some wag had written out for him
as follows: II go; thou startest; lie de-
parts; we make tracks; you cut sticks:
they absquatula.e or skeddadle."
Jefersoni Davis h 8 telcgraphed his ae-
lceptance OF the invitation to aitc.ld lie
county fairs next week in De $40 anh
Fulton, Mo Extensive preparations are
being made to receive him. and his ,,i'
will partake largely OF the character "
an ovation.
He had very promising boil between
the shouldcr-b blades, and his wife, whD
was young and beautiful, and could play
on the harp, but hadn't nursed much IN
The hospitals, put mustard plaster On H.
A lawyer Subsequently explained To hni
that they didn't gran: divorces for s4cn
causes in this state.
Near Knoxville, the other night, y
young girl, who was unexpectedly inter
viewed by the family as she was ai',it
clipping with the object of her virgin NJ
fections, knocked the old man down, l,ii
out two brothers with cislern pole, kick
ed the hired man in the stomach, ani gpi
away with her lover, and ''made the !.ic. :"
We wish that heaven had sent Us such =
woman IS that.
I II don't consider her anything hIf u
pert, upstart hussj. She's got NJ taste;
her clothes don't fit her; her bonnets y
perfect fright; she's freckled. wears strip
ell stockings, and has wart ON her back
as big as pigeons egg" bitterly exclain'-
ed a lovely girl, hurting her croq'ct-msl-
let on the ground, and glancipg in the
direction Of her varquisher, VIII" was
proudly walking off the field with tho
light of vic ory in her eye.-lB:oJkiyn
Argus.
William Newell, now the Rev. William
Newell, of Lancaster, S. c.. was q conf 4.
crate soldier during the war, but deserted.
and coming North took theological
course and was ordained. His family
heard nothing of him for twelve years till
he resppeared some ten days aimee. Ills
wife, who had reared the children aud