Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1875-05-15
Newspaper suhserIhers.

o Newspaper Subscribers.
: The London Newspapers Press co,
II tains the following Classification .
a newspaper subscribers. which 10 some
/ what vaguely credited to an America
: paper. First come the
UPRI6HTs.-These are men who Ia 4,
. newspapers, pay for them. and reas
them. Observe the order in which
these things are done: The paw come.
hrst.-the reading next. These men
consider they get the worth of their
money in the bargain. 1t seems as
fair and Just to them that the nevspa-
per should be paid for as a barrel Of
sugar or new coat. They never en-.
tertain any other opinion. When the
year runs out. or little before. thew
are on hand with the pay. There is no
more difficulty with them in remembers
ing this period, than Sunday or the
trst day of January. If one of them
wishes to stop his paper, he either
calls or writes a letter by his postmas-
ter, IN due season, Ike a man. This
class is dear to the heart of the editor.
Their image is embalmed in his warm
affections. May they live thousand
Years, and see their sons sons to the
fourth generations. The second class
now In mind is the
Do WELLs.-This class is nearly
related to each other-so near. that Il
Is hard tell where one begins and the
other ends. These men always pay in
advance in the beginning and intend to
do so continually. But memory fails
little, or some mishaps intervenes,
and the time runs by-sometimss a
little-sOmetime period. But their
recollection, though nodding oc-
cassionally never gets sound asleep.
1t pronounces the word in time
The printer is not paid and
forwith their will to do well kiDdles
into activity. Now comes the paving
up" Meant to do so before. Don't
mean to let such things pass BY" A
publisher can live with such men.
They have a warm place in his menu
ory-only little back ofthe Uprights.
If such man dies in arrears, his wife
or son remembers that he might not
have paid up for his newspaper, and
forthwith Institute inquiries. They
remember that part of the benefit was
theirs, and, estate or no estare, see
that the printers bill are not among
their father unsettled accounts. Next
come the
EASY DOERs.-These men believe
in newspapers. They have fully set
tied in their own minds that a news
paper is a good thing. They take
them, too. Sometimes at the FIRST they
pay up for the first year-at any rate
they mean to, pretty soon. If they
have done so, they sit down with the
conviction that their news
paper is now settled for; and this idea
having once gotinto their heads, refuses
to be dislodged, but keeps
It's holding from year to year; truth
once-now an illusion gray and rheu-
matte with years. The editor, mark
ing the elongated and elopgating space
10 the accounts current of their dol
ars, begins to ask if they are dead or
have gone to California. Now he be-
gins to poke bills at them. They sud-
1enly start up at the reality that they
are at the bottom. pay up. They never
dispute his bills-they know books tell
better stories than moss covered men,
)ries. Ii the publisher has faith
enough, or long purse, and can live
ike hibernating bear he may survive
his class. But If he is u moral only,
voc be to him. The next class is that
IF the
Down HILLERs.-Here we begin to
'lide over to the other side. The pie
ure suddenly gets sOmbre. We shall
lispatch the Down Killers suddenly.
)ne of these may take paper because
his wife wants one, or the children are
Jealous to read il, or a neighbor per-
'uades him. When it begins to come,
ne dismisses all thoughts about it
further. If the editor sends a man
directly to him at the end of two or
,hree years, he may get some pay for
his paper with growls and surly looks.
He never pays any debts if be can get
nd of it, and a newspaper least of all.
Still, he hates lawsuits, constabies, and
III that. A dun has the same effect
IN him that bullet has on a hippo
,otamus-glancing from his hide, or
linking in the blubber harmless. He
$ always sliding down hill, and soon
nerges into another class, of
THE Nix Cum ROUsE.-No matter
low this man began his subscription,
lie never pays for It. He don't ike
hat sort Of paper. 1t don's give
lews. He never did like it. He didn't
rant it in the first place, and told the
so. He sent back one
more than a year ago-besides he new
r began to take it till long time af-
er it came, and he hadn't had only
wo or three of them, at any rate, and
hose he hadn't read" Wipe him off.
1ere comes
The ESCAPEGRACE.-It is enough to
ny of him that he never fails to have
newspaper-tw2 or three Of them.
When he thinks Hey have come about
'ng enough for the publisher to want
ny, he sends back with stop it. Or
Q takes up his quarters and leaves for
arts unknown. He does not want to
ny, and he don't mean to. Get it if
)u can.
Readers, in which of the above
asses are you found?
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