Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1875-07-16
Result OF the Fourth Of July Coming
on Sunday.

ONE of your nervous and mean men
lives out in the Ninth Ward, one of the
men easily annoyed and willing to bear
with no degree of annoyance resulting
from the enjoyment of others. Holidays
have always been his saversion-people get
so ridiculously merry on hOlidays-and
the Fourth of July in particular, has been
day causing him infinite unhappiness
The noise of firearms, the constant smell
of powder, and above all the wild ecstacy
of the small males of the population have
always been as gall and wOrmwood to the
old sinner. Consequently, when il first
occurred to him that the Fourth of July
this year occurred on Sunday he chuckled
with satisfaction. "There won't be much
of celebration of the Internal humbug,
probably, and the police will hardly
allow the little wretches to make much
of noise on Sunday" was his retlcc-
/ ton.
! Upon one side of the old curmudgeon's
| house is Il residence containing six healthy
/ boys; the house adjoining his on the 9th
| er side has four boys, and the house di-
rectly across the street from his abode is
the home of three graccless hut exceed
ingly patriotic youths. Still, as the
Fourth came on Sunday, the selfish old
gentleman didn't have much fear of the
boys.
On Saturday night this venerable and
unsympathetic old dulfer was sitting out
on his piazza enjoying something nice to
drink on table at his elbow, and think
ing he'd have to buy the adjoining houses
in order to rent them to families without
children, when his attention was attracted
| to a commotion in the adjoining yard on
the left hand Those six boys came out,
and the noise they made was something
tremendous. They carried big bundle
with them, and the bundle, to the horror of
the old fellow in the chair, proved to be
rockets and Roman candles and crackers
and other inventions of Satan
The explanation of all this was that, as
the Fourth came on Sunday, the boys had
decided to hold their celebration on Satur-
day night In about ten minutes after the
appearance of the boys the fun began, and
first-class fun it was, too. There was a
banging of rockets and crackers, and a
whizZ of Roman candles, and the air was
full of falling sticks and smell of salt
peter. The boys yelled as only a lot of
vigorous boys can yell, and everything
was awfully lovely except to the old fellow
who didn't love boys or fireworks. lie
rose and shook his cane at them, and
swore at them and called a policeman but
the boys only laughed at his wrath, and
the policeman was disposed to let the boys
enjoy themselves. Then the old misan
thrope went inside and closed the doors
and windows, and went to bed, cOnsolinG
himself with the reflection that the cele
bration of Saturday for the Fourth had re
suited in getting the thing over with, any
how
On Sunday morning this sensitive old
citizen, with his newspaper and his cigar,
settled down on his piazza at an early
hour for season of solid enjoyment He
had but fairly established himself wher
he noticed the three boys across the stree
make their appearance. They were armeo
to the teeth with pyrotechnics and it was
evident to the most casual observer tha
there was going to be lively time. i
was evident also to the nervous old gen
tleman that the big time was to be directly
in front of his door!
The boys across the way were rathe
a., bad boys. They were going to celebrat
,, the Fourth, Sunday or not, and they wer
! provided abundantly with the material.
: The din commenced before breakfas
y and it didn't end until midnight. Th
: bows supply of ammunition seemed mex
haustiblc There would be an occasional
lull in the fusiade, but it was certain t.
be renewed, and at no time during the da..
was the cessation of war long enough t
Z allow the smell of sulphur to get out Q
= = the air, or the ringing in the ears of al
! the neighborhood to die out. There wer
only three boys actively engaged, but the
= made of Sunday good, old-fashione
u Fourth of July The sensitive citize
I took his dinner down town in the hott
= with its dining-room farthest from tn
!, street, for about one-thiTd of the boys /
IL the city appeared to be initiating those i
front of his house When he at last weI
/, home and went to bed it was with sig
of relief that the annual celebration wa
over at last.
This morning, bright and early, the ol
fellow was up again and outon the plazzi
! to get the comfortable loafing-spell he Ina
! been twice denied. He hadn't been seate
d" twenty minutes before the four boys b
longing to the house on the right-han
@ side appeared. He didn'tpay much atte
- ton to them at first, hut it wasn't long b
= fore tremendous explosion within fiftet
!, feet of him nearly lifted him out of h
chair.
The boys in the righthand house hi
p decided, as the Fourth of July came {
Sunday, to hold their celebration on Mo
q dayl
he The four boys didn't gel in their cel
e- bration quite as early as some of the
playmates, but they made up in the nea
81 mess of their fireworks for the delay ~
IN entire neighborhOod was enshrouded
rs smoke soon after the opening of their pc
II u formance, and the commotion is going {
ie yet 1t is safe to assume that the atia
u, will not terminate before twelve o'clo'
10 tonight As for the selfish old tellc
.. who doesn't like boys nor fireworks, h(
nc nearly insane, and swearing that if {
~ Fourth ever occurs on Sunday again he
mlI m emigrate to Canada until the internal HI
10 laballOo is Over There1l never be una
ST. unity enough among the boys to conf
the celebration to one day when the Foul
he comes as il did this year 1t will alwa
ng be a three-days' war when the thing Ia
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