The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-07-02

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"struck" Providence, r. l., the othel
day, and opened an office on BroaC
street. He put out the following "shin
gle:"
PROFESSOR BURKEE.
French and Latin here explained,
And the tongue to German trained;
Music and dancing also learned,
I And the stamps will be returned
| II they are not fairly earned.
Also, poetry composed on any subject.
His first customer was very short
and bow-legged young man, of a reddish
complexion and red hair; his neck-tie
was also red, and the bosom of his shirt
was ruffled. He had wnite-blue eyes, no
beard, forced curl to his hair, and alto
gether his face had about as much ex-
preston as a light-colored pumpkin pie.
He. was sOtt-any one could see that.
The little red necktie and ruff1ed shirt
bosom would have 'giyen him away" in
any part of the world ii there had been
no other indication of softness about
HIM.
AS he entered the Office the professor
extended mis- hand, smiled, and inquired
what he could do for him.
"You write po'try on verything, don't
you?" tremblingly inquired the Gus
Toner.
"Yes, SIR" promptly replied the pro-
lessor. "Any subject you wish-court-
ships, happiness, marriage, death, love,
on snow, flowers, trees, landscapes, sea,
| grief, ruin, enemies, and SO forth and 50
on-anything you wish. What will you
have it on?"
II want a poem to girl, and make her
think did it," replied the customer.
| "All right, describe her." said the pro-
fessor. seating himself at the table, pa
per before him, pencil in hand.
| III can't do it," said the young man; 81
| want you to do that"
Eyes, l know; I'd write the poem, but
want something to work ON; l don't
know the lady, you know. What Is she
likeY
''An angel" gently murmured the
young man.
"Yes, of course she is; but l want to
know something about her looks, form,
figure"
sShe's fat-weighs, guess, about two
tom"
"Yes, but that is not exactly a good
description to get up poem on. Iwant
to know something about the color OF
her eyes and hair, something OF her
smile, teeth, gait, disposition, and such
like information"
81 can't do it," replied the young man,
despairingIy. IL thought you could do
that. L amt 'quaiuted with her; don't
know the color of her eyes IN hair:
never seen her smile, ner teeth, ner dis
position. She lives 'cross the street
from where our folks just moved in, nj
set at one window all day watchin' her
when she cOmes-out, nj thought if you'd
write 'noriginal poum IN send 1t to her
with my name ont M the number of our
house, minte get 'quainted with her."
"Oh, see," said The professor; ''you
are not acquainted with the lady, but
you wish to be, and TO further that
happy consummation, you wish to send
her little poem-an expression of your
feelings towards her--and by the way,
what is the extent Of those feelings; are
you smitten?'
sam l whatW exclaimed the young
man.
''Are you in love with the ladyw ex-
planned the professor.
81 don't know" answered the GUS
'Aha, you rogue you, see how it is,"
said the professor; "Pll see what can
do for you;" and turning to the table he |
became inspired, ana be-
gan his work on The poem.
After working away for about ten min |
utes, he wheeled around in his chair,
and with satisfied air and the remark |
to his customer, "How's thisW com
reading the following:
TO MY LOVE.
My love is an angel, Pm sure of that
Although for an angel she's somewhat fat
It's mystery to me she does not fly
And make her home up in the sky.
Perhaps she's on this earth an abider
Fill the gates OF heaven can be made wider;
For she's rather above the angelic size,
And somewhat hefty to float through the skies.
The laws of gravity may keep ner down,
)r some other laws to us unknown
lay chain the beauty to this mundane sphere,
But shall love her whlle she stays here.
,ould the eloquence command
hat her bright beauties do demand,
"a sing melting tale of love,
rwould charm the angels up above.
No, 4s7h Benefit street.
SLOWS thatf' inquired the professor
The young man was speechless. With
ne hand he reached for the poem and
laced it in an inside pocket near his
cart; with the other he handed his
urse to the professor who took his pay,
wo fifty, from it and returned it.
Pike left the office, rushed home and
lto his room, threw bottle of twenty
ent perfumery on the poem, rushed out !
n the street again, hired boy to take |
le poem to the house over the way, and
len returned home ana took seat by :
le front window to wait and watch.
He saw the boy deliver the poem, and !.
,ree minutes later the loved one coming :
cross the street.
He was somewhat surprised, as she ,
as bareheaded, had on an old loose !
ress, and her arms were rolled up to !,
er apron. She rang the bell, and his
other answered it.
"Does any one live here by the name :
0. Romulus Pike, mum?" Z
eyes; my son."
SAN piaze can / see himp'
Certainly. Rommyp q,
"Yes, mar"
"A woman at the door to see you.,,
eyes, mar" and taking one more look ! = =
himself in the glass, he went to the = =
)or. t-f ~
"Is this Pikei' inquired the woman. q
she scernfully eyed The little fellow.
"Yes."
"And did yez sind this. ipsultin stuff q,
me, ye erookedlegged bantyp ii
30, don't call 1T insultin',n cried ROM s