The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1875-11-19
A BABY AZ THE rsREATEE.
a aGIiemce. Actors and OrcheS-
ARA aimterlained by sHH anna -
Haly Darling Pet

AttS u CSs
The Salt Lake Herald tells the
following story: She brought the
darling with her to see the play.
Her entire devotion to the active
infant, and total Indifference to
observation, proclaimed her its
mother. She tickled the baby I'M
der the chin until it crowed again.
She seized its foot and shook it
till the infant suffocated itself with
delight. This had a bad effect,
for when baby recovered its wind
it yelled with fright. Then, such
a kissing and dandling. TWAS
tossed and playfully shaken. and
grinned at, and chirruped to, until
it began another alarming laugh.
An artificial rose in the maternal
bonnet caught the infantile eye.
and the delighted mamma suffered
her offspring to bob weakly up
and down on its timber legs, and
jabber earnestly at the floral orna-
ment. People in the vicinity
grew nervous. Such lively in
tant was sure to make things dis
agreeable before the evening was
over. Several young men got up
and changed their seats to the
other side of the theater. Gentle
men contracted their brows, and
unmarried ladies assumed fixed
smiles of unnatural sweetness as
they cast their fine eyes toward
the playful infant and it's proud
and happy mother, fancying that
they thus advertised the we'll of
maternal love which lay latent in
their virgin bosoms. The lights
were turned up and buiged out
the infants eyes with surprise.
One feeble little hand, with all the
tiny fingers working, was stretch
ed convulsively toward the glitter
ing gas jets on the other-side of
the auditorium. The orchestra
began with a crash. The baby
fell upon it's back in the maternal
lap and set up a shrek SO loud
that the old German doing a little
solo on the cornet between crash
es had his sound quite drowned.
1t was noticed that when it came
to the bass drum mans turn to
chime in, he did so with thun-.
dering vigor that would have Gov
cred the screeches of a founding
hospital. Baby got used to it, and
when the curtain rang up sat in a
state of stupefaction, staring at
the actors. An amiable old gen
tleman in eye glasses and q white
vest, wearied of the play, and IN
the most grandfatherly manner
possible, turned, and poking a fat
forefiuger into the infants ribs,
loosely clicked his tongue.
The consequence of this advance
was that, just as young gentle
man on the stage, who was on his
knees before a young lady with
aYeIted head, remarked in an i'm
FASHIONED manner, 'And, Edith,
darling, should heaven bless our
union and give us''-baby gave
howl of supernatural loudness.
The confused and mortified old
gentleman blew his nose with pro
digious vigor and looked straight
before him with a very red face.
The young gentleman on the stage
was startled out of his speech,
and the young lady, overcome
with emotion, stuffed her hand
kerchief into her mouth. Every
man in the house scowled at the
mother, who seemed more calmly
delighted with her darling than
ever, and made loving faces dt it
for full five minutes. She was
really and truly unconscious that
she and her pet annoyed any one,
and throughout the whole evening
smiled serenely and looked upon
the infants screams and kicks as
marks of precocity which must
excite the admiration of the pub
lid, who, no doubt, were delighted
with the privilege of witnessing
the Sa me-