Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-05-13

IoAGIuu6u ~ IISlSb Upou Ao-F4AS .t1.
churning done, while Johnny moved
that the subject be ''laid upon the "a
BILE" and lie began to whistle The
Bowld Soger Boy."-''I move @
this discussion be discontinued" sa-
johnny. Mrs. SwiPes eoaxed, an
wearied out with shaking an old cal
pet asked Johnny to stop playing wita
that bail. I'm short stop, mother,
said johnny, and he tossed the bal
which fell into a bowl of soft SOAP
Mrs. Swipes said he must adjourn T.
the dooryard if he would play wit.
that ball.
ga motion to adjourn is out Of a.
DER" came back from Johnny, auo
then Mr.. Swipes walked in, and like
sensible man he took in the condition
at once. He asked his son if he
thought a motion to adjourn was on
of order, but Johnny had ceased to be
communicative, and the '.old man"
just motioned towards that churn, and
told Johnny that motion to churn
was always in order, and when we
came away that dasher was going "ker-
chug,' ''kerchug," ''kerchug." aud
Johnny was saying Come, come, but
ter come &c. and he was as meek
outside as mule on tow path.
The spelling mania RACES like an
epidemic 1t spares neither persons
nor localities. The hearthstone Of 8
Quality Rover is the last spot invaded,
Lorenzo lives on Quality Row, and his
wife $ name is Eliza. Lorenzo retired
late the other uight, with his head full
of polysyllables, trisyllables aud
whipsyllables and score of silent let
ters and some not so silent. His wife
who had remained up to mend hole
in the baby's stocking, retired shortly
thereafter, and scarcely had she turn
down the light and ''keeled in before
Lorenzo, thinking he was on duty, be-
gan: Moe noe tar tar nocter n-0-l
nal nocturnal, and then rolled over and
began to play an interlude with his
mouth, SO g-phew-w-w-w, s-g-g5-gg-g
phew-w-w- WV. Eliza said nothing,
but she did heap o thinking. Very
soon Lorenzo broke the silence, just as
his wife was getting into browse witt
''that amt right; don't you know hoy
to spell it? It's E-5c eG t-r-a-U eqtro
q ertrGUo g-a-1s-t CANT ertraUaganr
That's right I'll bet the cigars" I'll
was too much for Eliza. She thong.
Lorenzo was rejecting upon her house
keeping management, and when he
wanted to bet the cigars it occurred to
her that Mrs, Tittletattle had mention
ed TO her that she thought her husband
ought to get her at least new ''bro-
cade," and so she just intimated to
Lorenzo that it didn't look very pretty
to be betting cigars when she needed
some new clothes. K-J-o kJo re kgo5e
was all that Lorenzo responded, and
then he imagined himself a little en-
CINE in a one horse tannery and fell to
snoring Justify to Substantiate his i'm
agination. Eliza didn't fax about
much, but she felt one Of her ''spells"
coming on, and just wanted Lorenzo to
keep on with that spelling class. She
didn't have to wait long before the
spellist began: Tn IN COM com iacoDe
pot pat auconapat 4 incompatj 6-aj-J-J
bull jncompati6uU. This was too
many for Eliza. To have her husband
hint that she was incompatible, and
to spell it, too, with '6asJJ," that was
too much, and all her wifely dignity
was aroused. There was a relaxation
of certain Latin muscles. and severe
tension Of certain other Latin muscles
in the right lower extremity Of Eliza,
and then 1t shot out like mule from
a street car railway barn, with this ao-
compartment ''There, you great
Ounce, spell 1t "buzJ'' oojU you2 Go
do1on to the foot aohere you belong.
:IncOmpoti5le' eli? III sho0 you
'ohose Incompatible" and Lorenzo
found himself dorm at the foot keeping
with the hair brush, a brush
broom, the baby's shoes and the Chris
tan Union, wondering what the last
word was that the schoolmaster had
put out. As he stood upon his feet
in his angelic robes he remarked:
ETIs1o 7 eno77eI IAN, ali loan. T -,