The Morning herald., 1875-10-16
DEAD AND ALIVE.

DEAD AND ALIVE.
What pity it is that people cannot die
at pleasure and return to Life at pleasure
1t would be an awful funny change in the
laws Of nature, but very convenient one
in satisfying personal curiosity. A man
never knows that the community thinks
anything Of him until he has experienced
this state; he plods through life encount-
ering each day the same succession Of du-
ties; but when he dies, the world is made
acquainted with his great Christian virtues
AMI lis worth as citizen, is exalted
to the skies. If people could die at q con-
venient time and return to life at pleasure,
they would Rad some pleasant things
about themselves. Just think Of the beau
tiful obituary poetry they would peruse in
the colums of the Philadelphia Ledger,
how they had climbed the golden pole,
benn to meet grandmotherand swunga aro, nd
the circle with the happy band. The edi-
tors arm would be twisted from its socket
by the constant shaking OF the thankful
rasurrec:ed. Perhaps the only trouble
about this, would BE- that the people
would want TO die too often in order to
have these pleasant things said about
them.
But there are instances where people
have passed through this state. Ics,
died. Their obituary rot;ces published
and they returned 10 life in time to peruse
them in the next mornings papers, and it
must have made them, as they saw their
praises sung to high note, feel extremely
conscious Of the fact Tint newspapers re-
spected the dead, but were not as truthful,
rs George Washington was reported to be
when he owned little ha,chet. One
night, away up in Massachusetts, sume-
where, Walt. Whitman laid down to rest
and awoke the next morning to read ia the
New York Hor'd, two column obituary
Of himself. 1t was brilliant effort, and
as he read it over, he thought it was some
grand dream or that he had been transport
ed to Utopia. lie was called
he greatest of American poets.
]: was only then that he was conscious
Of the fact that lie was being lied about by
some obituary writer, AID he politely in
formed the editor Of the newspaper that he
was not dead, but said Il still live" A
few weeks since, the coroner of Philadcl-
pbia was surprised, while standing on one
ofthe streets Of that city, to hear one of the
newsboys cry out: "Dsath of the coroner
and there and then he purchased paper
and read what good and noble man he
va.
Yesterday the Press and Enquirer Of
Philadelphia commenced half-ce!umn ar
ticles with the usual eve are deeply
panied to record" etc. This was
all about DR.. Charles Jayne Stille,
Provost of the University of Pennsyl-
vania. While the doctor sat Yesterday
morning at his breakfast table slipping a
cup Of Java, he cracked his fingers and
rubbed his palms together in delight over
The beautiful words said about him. In
the meantime his wife was in the parlor
begging the mourners to-dry their eyes
aud called the police to drive the importu
nate hack and hearse drivers away. ...
Since Walt Whitman's obituary has
been printed, he has been called stupid
old blunderer twenty times and the beau-
tiful sentiment Of the obituary thus de-
s:royed. The only way we can see for the
poet to retrieve himself is to die over again
and bring out another obituary.