The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1875-11-11
SUNBEAMS.

About the worst 60 imaginable is the
~lumbago.
We should like to know how that man in
Minneapolis broke his leg putting on his
overcast.
A young man has suedhas barberf for cut
ting off his moustache. The barber says he
didn't see it.
What she said at the frontdoor, as he at
tempted Nh OSCILLATION. was briefly this:
"No Jack, tastes differ"
A child being asked what the three great
feasts of the Jews were, promptly replied:
Breakfast, dinner, and support!
The hair of a young lady in Vermont
turned white in u single night. She fell
into a -four barrel.
After all" says an old doctor, "there are
only two kinds of disease, the one Of which
you die, and the other OF which you don't.
Aman in Illinois broke into the house of
q widow. She pitched him out of doors.
A striking evidence Of the power of the
widow might.
A Michigan man has raised five lemons
on a tree which he keeps ina dollhouse. 1t
took four tons of coal, and he sold the lem
ons for twenty cents.
A reason for calling.-Visitor, (naively):
"Well, | certainly never dreamt | should
find you at home on such Il lovely afternoon
as this
A postal card picked up in the street at
Norwich, Conn, the other day, bore this
solemn appeal: Deer mary for luv of God
send me a pare of pants
"Why did you pass yesterday without
looking at me 7" said IA beautiful woman to
Talleyrand. because, madam, if | had
looked | could not have passed"
Daniel Fender concluded a letter, asking
Mary to- be his, thus: and should you say
yes dear Mary. l will ever and faithfully
be your d. Fender" Daniel thought that
was neat, and so did Mary.
A Wisconsin lady opened a matrimonial
intelligence Office recently, but she married
the first man who applied. and the concern
came to a speedy end.
A New Bedford company is making
butter at a cost of four cents a pound"
We Judge the CLUTTER to be very
healthy and strong, as it has driven all
the beggars of cold v~ictuals into other pro-
f~cssions.
Orc wants toknow why Mr.. Woodman did
not spare that tree he used to read so much
about. The agricultural editor of this pa
per answers that it was because he hadn't
a tree to spare.
"Poor things" murmured Solomon Burch
of the State Journal. "Who?' inquired the
Deacon. "Why, them bally girls. They're
SO fearful dissipated. They can't hold out
very long. They say they get on tights ev-
cry blessed night O the week =
A Kansas farmer purchased a revolver for
his wife and insisted on target practice, so
that she could defend her house in case of
his absence. After the bullet WAS dug out
of his leg, and the COW buried, he said he
guessed she'd better shoot with an axe.
McLeanncounty Progress: One day last
week a yo~ng girl. whose parents reside in
this county, swallowed forty percussion
caps. She really deserved spanking, but
her mother refrained for fear of an explo-
sion. Cautious mother, that.
"My God, man, he will not live to serve
the half of it % was the exclamation Of q
Boston Irishman the other day, when he
heard that Friel, who killed Il fellow
in the station house, had been sentenced to
imprisonment tor life.
A gentleman drove o sorrowfal-lnoking
horse into town last Saturday, and, stopping
in front of Bank block, he requestcda small
boy to hold him q moment. Hold i'm ?"
exclaimed the boy; lust lean him up
against the post-thatn hold 'im"'
A Western editor, noticing the present of
a silver cup to a brother editor, says: He
needs no cup; he can drink from any YES
sci that contains liquor, whether the
neck Of a bottle, the mouth of a pickle
jar, the Spite of a keg, or the hung of a
BARREL
washington" exclaimed a member of a
Nashville debating club, in stentorian
tones, washington was a great man; he
was a good man; he was a noble man his
mind had a powerful grasp of the future;
if ever a man was non conlpoS mentiS, Wash
ington was that man."
A farmer told his man to run into the
pasture and catch an OK. Il mean the off
one | will manage the other myself he
said. The man rIn on to do as he was bid
den, but suddenly paused on the way with
the exclamation, He is reasonable fellow,
anyhow. How AIN | to Know which is the
orphan?
A pleasant prospect; Traveller lin Ire
land): "Hi-pull her up a Don't you
see the mare is running away?" Paddy:
'Hould tight, yer honor. For yer life don't
touch the reins-sure they're us rotten as
pears. III turn her head into the river at
the bridge below here. Sure thatn stop
her, the blagyard."
A ~youngster, while warming his hands
over the kitchen fire, was demonstrated
with by his father, who said, Go way
from the stove; the weather is not
cold" The little fellow, looking up at
his stern parent demurely, replied: 81
amt heatin' the weather; I'm warmth my
hands"
The entire alphabetis found in these four
lines. Some OF the children may like to
learn them:
God gives the grazing OK his meat,
He quickly hears the sheep's low cry,
But man who tastes his finest wheat,
Should Joy to lift his praises high.
"Wake up, Judge. wake up; there's a
burglar IN the mouse, Saio MIS-. Iortiy, IN
Brooklyn, to her husband. the other night.
The Judge rolled out of bed, grasped his
revolver, and opened the door to sally forth
for the robber. Then turning to his wife
he said, Come, Sarah, and lead the way.
It's Il id mean man that will hurt a
woman"
A Jolly doctor called on a lady IN his way
home from a dinner party, so full that he
could not count her pulse beat. Conscious
of the cause of his difficulty, he, in a mo-
ment of irritation, blurted out, Drunk, by
.Jovei" and rushed ont of the house. The
next day the lady sent for him and said