The Arizona sentinel., 1875-10-16

and took tincture of acOnite by
mistake. ftkilied him.
A GAINESVILLE man has written
a life Of the devil. The last three
chapters comprise a ten years.
biography of his mOther-in-law.
A tombstone in a Colorado GENE.
terry has the following touching
epitaph:
He was young. he was fair.
But the Iniuns raised his hair"
There has not been a steamboat
disaster on the Mississippi river
for nearly two weeks, and old
hOatmen predict that the world is
coming to an end.
To tell good eggs, put them in
water-if the large end turns up
they are not fresh. This is an in
fallible rule to distinguish good
egg from a bad one.
Barnum has just paid $4,000
for a baby hippopotmus, while
there are millions of heathenS in
Africa who havn't a testamentor
a change of shirts. -DetrO6 Free
Press.
Am | not little pale?" inquir-
ed a lady who was short and cor
pulent, of a crusty old bachelor.
"YOu look more like a big tub"
was the prompt reply.
"See here, wife, you indulge
that boy too much. He is per-
feet mule" Oh, husband, please
don't accuse our poor boy of hav-
ing an ass for father" The old
man was silent,
The compositor wh0substituted
an I'm" for Wv" in speaking of a
lady troubled with Swelling of
the feet" accomplished the worst
typographical feat on record.
The longest night in Norway
lasts three months, and when a
young man goes tu see his girl,
her mother before retiringI tells
her not to ruin her h ealth by sit
ting up more:than two months.
If we had cheap telegraph rates
a person living in Detroit could,
for fifteen cents, telegraph his
mother-in- law in New York not
to come-family got the small
pOX.
When Missouri engineerditch-
ed his train he family asked
Ibid it kill any one who parted
his hair in the middle?" They
answered that three such were ly
ing dead. "Then | die happy"
he sighed, and was soon no more.
Detroit Free Press.
Let me kiss you for your mother"
Said a swell, too free of speech,
To an unprotected maiden
Whom he met upon the beach.
Let me thrash you for my father"
Was the maiden's quick reply,
As, with ready sun-umbrella,
She chastised him. hip and thigh.
Imagine the horror of an up
town mother, whose three-year
old daughter yesterday addressed
her with: Mamma, my dOll's
played out, and ] don't want any
more rag dollys or china dOllys;
/ want a meat baby. VI Edston
Free Press.
Every paper in the United States
either has printed or will print
this remark: singular, to see a
garden walk" Whereas, it is
no more singular than to see a
rope walk, or horse fly, or brick |
bat, or tree bark, or hat box. |
or an infinite number Of other
things that might be mentioned.
A Saratoga correspondent writes:
One of the walters had Secreted
standing dish of cut peaches for a
favored guest, by placing the dish
on a chair and pushing the chair
up to the tables edge, the long
ends of the dinner cloth falling
over the whole and adding a de-
ceptive air of innocence to the re-
gi0n of bliss. Along came a curl
ed darling of society in snowy
white flannel, heavily jewelled,
thickly pomatumed and power,
fully scented-one of your "paw-
ticIaw fellaws," in fact. The wal
ter was away for the moment.
Our AdoniS was peering with his
oue-eyed glass at an angel at his
right; with his left hand he drew
out a chair, and sat down into
those peaches! The dish snapped,
the peaches sized and spurted to
every point of the compass, and
the youth sprang up with such
force that he nearly upset the ia
bic. The din was as loud as Ga
briefs horn and turned the wal