Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-02-06
THE COMING WOMAN.


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THE COMING WOMAN.
HOW SHE HELPS HER HUSBAND UNDER DIFF
CULrrEs AND SUNSHINE.
She is a little bit of woman, all
patience and sunshine, and I'd spoil
the best silk hat that money could
buy for the privilege of lending her
my umbrella in rain storm. She's
married and she's got an old rhinoc-
eros of q husband. He makes it O
practice to come home tight at II
o'clock every other night, and has
for years, and he can't remember,
that she ever gave him GROSS word
about it. When he falls into the hall
she is waiting to close the door and
help him back into the sitting-room,
where a good fire awaits him. She
draws off his boots, unbuttoning his
collar, helps him off with his coat, and
all the time she is saying:
Poor Henry! How sorry l am that
you had this attack of vertigo! am
afraid that you will be found dead by
the roadside some night"
Whazzer mean by yershigo ?" ho
growls; but she helps him off with his
vest, and pleasantly continues:
"Tm SO glad you got home oil right.
I hope the day will come when you can
pass more of your time at home. 1t is
dreadful how your business drives you. "
Whaz bizshness -whaz yer talk
ing bout ?" he replies.
"Poor one-how hot your head is!'
she continues, and presently he breaks
down and weeps and exclaims:
Yez zur-zic's q 'orse-wearing self
out fhast's ean--wishAi was deadp'
Next morning she never refers to the
subject, but pleasantly inquiries how he
slept, and if his mind is clear. His
boots may be missing, and he yells out:
Whar'n thunder's my boots ?"
Right here, my DEAR" she leplies,
and she hands them out, all nicely
blacked up.
If she wants a dress, or hat, or o
cloak, and he yells out that household
expenses are eating him up, she never
sasses" him back, nor tells him that
she could have a married a Congress-
man, nor declares that she will write to
her mother and tell her just how it is.
"That's so, my dear, times are hard :"
she says, and she gets up Just as good
a dinner as if he had left her fifty dol
lars
- He may come home tight at supper
tsy,a tN,1t che SC not chnnEa1 Gha
marks that it is an unexpected pleasure
to have him home so early, and she pre-
tends not to notice his stupid look.
He sees three chairs where there is but
one, and in trying to sit down he strikes
the floor Ike the fall Of derrick.
Whazzer draw that chair way for ?"
he yells, and she replies:
"It's that hole in the carpet-I knew
you would stumble" and she helps him
up and brings him strong cup of tea.
They do not keep servant, and
when cold weather came she never
thought of planking herself down in o
chair opposite him and saying: Now,
then, you'll either get up and light the
fires or there won't be any lighted
mark that, old baldheadr ..s
No, she didn't resort to any such
base and tyrannical' measures. When
daylight comes she slips out of bed,
makes two fires, warns his socks, and
then, bending over him, she whispers
"Arise, darling, and greet the festive
mornw 45.
He's sick sometimes, and I've known
that woman to coax him for two straight
hours to take the doctors medicine,
turn over his pillow twenty-five times,
keep wet cloth on his head, pare his
corn down, and then wish that she had
q quail to make him some soup, When
he gets into fight down town and
comes home with his ear bitten up
and his nose pointed to the northeast,
she inquiries how the horse happened to
run away with him, and she says she is
so thankful that he wasn't killed. Sba
has an excuse for everything, and she
never admits that any one but herself is
to blame about anything. Lor' bless
her--I hope she'll alp into heaven and
never be asked question.
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