Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-02-03

foppcnbury is the name Of Buff
falo's prima donna.
Ex-Queen Isabella has been re-
duced to lS4 nightgowus.
Jonah was a stranger among
whales, and they took him in.
An Ohio canal boat has been
named after Henry Ward Beeched.
An armless Milwaukee woman
boxes her husbands ears with her
foot.
Charles Lamb said Of one of his
critics: The more I think Of him,
the less | think of him.
Galveston has a Foundlings'
Home, and no foundling of twenty
one years of age is admitted.
Seth Green doesn't want to die
until he sees fish selling for cent
pound, and the fish don't want
him to live that long.
Money is so scarce in Indiana
that the farmer who sells hog is
trailed home by burglars enough
to make respectable caucus.
Professor Tyndall says he would
like to meet Satan and have a talk
with him. We have no doubt the
old boy seccnls the motion; so
what's to binder'
A circuit preacher in Missouri
prayed for rain one night at a far
mcr5 house, and the farmer, who
had a horse race arranged r next
day, was so mad that he turned
the good man out doors.
The grand jury of Lucas county.
Ohio, has established a precedent
by indicting certain pious ladies'
for lottery gambling at fairs. Speed
the day when the church will DO
purgcd Of such wickedness.
y Maryland youth went OF to
live in cave like a brigand, but
he hadn't got his provisions fairly
tucked away before his old dad
dropped in on him and wore up
half fence rail driving him home.
\ dead horse in Paris is worth
about sl7. This is made up Of 40
cents for the hair, So for the skin,
and 81 for the blood, which is
dried; the entrails are valued (pro-
baby for sausage-skins) at SO cents;
the teudons, GO cents; the fat is
worth on the average IS; the shoes
and nails so cents, and the bones
nearly 81. In this country deal
horse is worth SO. His hide is
worth 81, aud it is worth 81 to
take it of.
An old lady in Loclsport recent
ly achieved cminenco by carrying
a quart of popped corn to a dona-
tion party, and eating two doxen
fried oysters, a pound of crack ers,
three slices of fruit cake, half a
mince pie and some apples, after
which she was threatened with
"spasm,' and in tho effort to pre-
vent it she sacrificed all the vino
there was in the house. She at
tends donations regularly, AMI does
a good deal for the church in that
way.
1t is very strange that Prof. Tyn-
dali should say he doubts the story
of the Garden of Eden, when ho
knows as well as we do that in n
Cincinnati museum is o walking
stick made from the very tree from
which Eve gathered the apple that
created such a disturbance. Until
Prof. Tyndall can explain away
that bit of timber, a sense of COM
mon decency should prompt him
to let the story Of the q. and Z.
stand just as it is.
In the harbour Of Portland, Me,
| woman fell overheard from ves-
'el and after she had floated her.
'elf on a plank that the captain
hrew TO her, a sailor tried to fling
! sort Of lasso around her legs.
She screamed out; "do let my legs
Ilone; you will drownd mel" The
captain called him back, and then
lshed her out with a rope around.
Ter waist. That gallant sailor y,il
lot hereafter make a specially OF
escuing women from watery
rave.
"Your young frieu'. stayed up.
ommonly late las. night. and 7
7as inclined TO Come into the mar
'r and dismiss, him." said an in
ulgent father to his pet of sweet
iXteen' "Oh! yes, il was pretty