The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-01-07
"MARIER'S ROOM.v
A washOe Lodging-HOuse Experience.
BY DAN DE QUILLE.

BY DAN DE QUILLE.
Among the keepers of lodging-houses
in this arsentiferous land one occasionally
finds a landlady who far eXcels the sheath
en- Chinee" in "ways that are dark and
tricks that are vain" She is, to all out
ward appearance, "serene as a summer s
day." and, seemingly, cher ways are ways
of pleasantness. and all her paths are
peace;" but in reality she is simply Luci-
ferian.
When YOU sally forth in search of lodg-
ings the smiling landlsdy no sooner learns
your business than her voice mellows and
she stands before you one Of the most
kind-hearted and mOtherly middle-aged
female personages it has ever been your
good fortune TO meet.
MRS. TABITHA SMILEY.
Thus, when | called at Mrs. Smiley's,
Mrs. Smiley. amost robust inveigler OF the
''weary and heavy laden" put on her re-
ceivinc face and said: = My child, | have
Just what will silt you. You don't look
strong. Have you been sick, my poor
boy? Just step this way, please. Here
we are. All the door is locked. must
always keep my doors locked-there is so
many sneak thieves about nowadays, you
know, sir. Now, you must always keep
your door locked. sir-the sneak thieves
are so bad. All! yes; the door is locked;
the Chinaman has the kev-but I'll call
him. Wing Leel Hot Wing Lee! You
Wing Lee! you gOod-for-nothing, where
are yOu?"
The Chinaman, a sbrewd-lOOking, pig
eyed rascal, who was chambermaid and
also man. ofall-work, finally made his ap-
pearance with the key, and the door OF the
- I. 4, nm
locked. When the door swung open Mrs.
Smiley struck an attitude at the entrance,
crying: There, sir, amt it lovely?
There is bed, sir. fit for prince
Double-spring mattress, with genuine
curled hair-no pulu there, sir!-and all
the kiyers of the best! Chairs, wash
stand, readin'-stand-to put at the head of
your bed if you are fond OF readin
o'nightS. sir, as some is-tOwel-rack, beau
tiful lamp, and every thing heart could
desirel
You see. sir" continued she, Z" all of
them alabastered vases, them brOnge
statutes. the purcelain fixtures, the chrO-
moed picturs and them air inidges III
tcTra-incognita-lovely! amt theyE"
Beginning TO warm TO her work, she
cried. with great enthusiasm: Fhis, sir,
is Little Mary and her Lamb, and this is
pictur of the 'Crucifixtion'.-shows how
our Savior suffered on Cavalry. This
here. in the brOnge, is Don QucKset, a
powerful knight who went and fit with
the Crewsaiers, in VERY ancient times.
" "sAINTED MARIER -
4" All, poor fellow ~ said | :; "poor fel-
low for was thinking of the Don.
You NAV well say so" remarked Mrs
Smiley; - you may well say so, for be-
lieve he was killed by the bustin' of 8
windmill, Also, sir. yOu may be surprised
at seein' % every thing so tasty; but sir. Il
was nv dear darter'S rOOm," and Mrs
Smiley lifted a corner of her apron to he!
left eye.
" AMI" sighed [, looking solemnly
heavcnward.
= She's not dead oh, no, sir J." cried
Mrs. Smiley.
"Ha!" cried l.; " she lives?"
"She does. sir,' said Mrs. Smiley, SAND
believe she's quite hearty-thank YOU
sir. She is over TO school in California
over to the High School, at Bernecia
where | hear she is maxim great prOgres!
in the French tung! | hate O1fully TO rem
her room, but in these ere times, sir
what with the licenses. taxes and all tina
why. we must do many things as W.
don't like"
Turning suddenly toward window, SIT
said: Beautiful view you'll OOSarVe
sir. from this ere south winder! From
this winder, you'll obSarve, you can SCI
the top of Mount Davinson-yOu can ever
see the flag-stafft up at the top! Marier-
the name of my dear child, now over e
Bernecia, sir-Marier she us't to admire t
look up there at that air landscape. You'll
have the use of the balcony, too, sir. From
the bal conv the view off east is perfect!
charming, as the sweet child very frekent
lv would remark. You can see clean ou
to the Twenty-twO-mile Desert.
MAKING THE BARGAIN.
{" But the rent. madam What rent d
YOU ask?" cried |.
" The price of the room, my dear child
hardly know what TO say. The TACT L
I've not bin rentin' this ere room. BEN
as il were formerly my darter's boodwo-To
I've i'm a manner kept it sakerd."
"Well," said |, " the price:
90, yes: the price," cried Mrs. Smiley
Wen, sir. I'm sure you won't think $40
month out o. the way for sich roem-
with anv little thing | can do for you !
case Of sickness, and bed tit for prince
and busts and picturs, and bronges an
terra incog-"
Thirty dollars is all l can give" wa
nv answer, firmly spoken.
"what. Thirty dollars for this. room
O. no. sirl Why, my dear child, whereve
could YOU bin stoppin' at -Previousl!
See the home comforts - cried Mrs. SIN
lev, growing red in the face with enthus
asm :: ''see the works of art! Bu
hows'ever. as like your looks, we'll sa
so Dear me! what would Marier say
this? Her own room, too!-the des
child's boodwO-ra! There. now, 1t
over,-the room is yours at S4O!. WI
you send your trunks and things this a
ternoon? You. Wing Lee! That Chlni
man has gone again. and you will wal
the kew TO the room. O, but you will
snug here, sir What. you can't pa
S4O:r u,
Thus we fight it dOwn-S5. and, mail
g 80. a round-till at last Mrs. Smile.
very red in the face and apparently con
pleielv exhausted, says: 1T would brel
The heart of that poor child if she knowt
IT. hut somehow I've taken sich likin'
vo1-iist as may say while we have bi
talkin' together-that TO help you-as
see that you're not in any big payin' bus
nessMto help you, my child, I'm willin'
soIerf;ze nv own intruSts. Well. then,
Tmust must! and you can have It for Il
S20-S30 in advance, understand"
MYSTERIOUS DIsAPPEARANcEs. =,
To make a long story short, t0ok u
room-tbe room. "Mary and her Lamp
Don .Ouickset," and all the rest Oh u
9.hronges and terra incognltas., ~,
For about four days all went well. III
eel, ni,bt u,hen came home, observe