Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-07-07
Odds aud Ends.

A PATIENT wa1ter-a young doctor.
HIGH living for hard times-rooms in
an attic.
A HEAVY business-importing ele
plants.
VESTED interest-money in the. waist
coat pocket.
WHEN hog roots in snow bank it's
nose knows SHOWS.
WHY is side-saddle like four-uuart
! Jug? Because it holds gallon
CAKES Of toilet soap and two-dolIar
suspenders are beginning to reach Ne
braska sufferers.
HE gold found in the Black Hills is
said to be one of very Siouxperior quail
ty.-Cour5er- Journal
81 WISH [ was pudding mammal
"Why?" "Cause / should have such
lots OF sugar put into me p
IT is estimated that every pauper in
San Antonio, Texas, owns about seven
dogs.
CORRECTLY don't seem like a hard
word; yet they all go down because they
can't spell correctly.
PARTY ties-those little white chokers
worn by blonde gentlemen who part
their hair in the middle.
The fellow who asked for lock of
his girls hair, was informed that it
''costs money, hair does. "-Bosto,a
Post.
A FRENcaMAN, intending to compli-
ment young lady, by calling her
gentle lamb, said, "She is one mutton
as is small 20
QU1Lp to (Mrs. o." Well, how did
You like the sermon, my dee.?" Mrs.
| 60, perfectly splendid! Such
loves of bonnets !"
CAUDLE says that his wife, at least,
whatever may be the ex oerience OF cen
sus- takers with others OF her sex, is al
ways ready to tell her rage.
MEAT me at the spelling match at
Muesic Hall, y was the invitation written
probably by one who stepped down and
out OH the first round.
The difference between bearer
and sealing-wax is, that sealing-wax
burns to keep a secret, and the tale
bearer burns to tell one.
"JEMIMA," said fashionable miss to
her friend, '' think Charley Potts is
perfectly splendid; he can get on my
gloves, and wears spit-curls. y
We read good deal in the papers of
stylish turnouts in Washington. But
le1-'s turnout though not stylish, has
been much admired.
A Troy bigamist ran out Of back
door while his two wives were fighting
over the question as to who should
have him, and has not since been seen.
When Detroiter was asked the other
day by a traveller if he ever was In
Brooklyn he fastened to reply: "Do
look like one of that sort Of men, sir ? ("
The boy who ran away from school to
"go fishing all alone" and caught him
self in the lip, says he's got enough OF
fishing on his own hook.
/ AN instructor asked French girl why
beer in French was feminine. She re-
piled it was probably owing to the fact
that the boys liked it SO well.
| An exchange says: Well ride two
miles to see two brothers under twelve
years of age go to bed together without
having dispute about something
IT is in vain to hope to please al
alike. Let man stand In what direc-
he will, he must necessarily turn Ills
back on one-half the world.
LONDON is ahead It has more Jews
! than Palestine, more Scotchm en- than
! Edinburg, more Irish than Dublin,
more Catholics than Rome, and more
thieves than Chicago.
The greatest discovery at Pompen IS
that OF q woman making fire IN COOK
| stove while her husband is IN bed and
| as1een She was anoble woman. Boston
! Journal.
A SHALL boy in New Haven made
sensation for short time By quietly
transferring card bearing the words
ssTake One, from lot of handbills In
front of store to basket OF oranges.
AN assessor asked woman how many
chickens she had, and, doubling her
word, proceeded to count them. She
took him to the beehive, kicked it over,
and invited him to count the bees.
THE slender youth who opens the
grocery store across the way at o'clock
every morning desires to be ranked
among the (early) rising merchants of
this town. -Danbur50n.
! A WIDOW was weeping U1toc1iy dt Vic
loss OF her husband, and the parson
tried to console her. ''No, no." said
she: "let me have my cry out, and
then I shan't care anything more
about it. :
A coUNTRYMAN who came to this city
recently visited the No. 3 engine house,
and set his watch by the steam gauge OF
!, the engine, which measured twenty
pounds of steam - Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
The new building of the New York
Tribune is nine stories high. When
man comes in and wants to know who
wrote that article, he is told that the
author is on the top floor with the ele-
vator broken.
AN old river man said Mark IVAN
had no genius for plotting, but If he
could have been supplied with steam
boats when learning the business ne
would have cleared the river OF snags;
/