Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-12-22
Odds and Ends

Odds and Ends.
SPELLING BEES have swarmed TO Eng
land.
They that govern make least noise.-
Selden.
CIRCUMSTANCES I make c,rcum-
stances. Napoleon. ~
A GOOD conscience is continual
Christmas. Franklin
MOST men are afraid of bad name
but fear their consciences.-Pliny.
GLASGOW has church in which this
notice is conspicuously posted: ssSer-
mons for people in working Clothes"
A PROMINENT citizen is guilty of saw
ing that Tweed is an non est man at
last.
| The British public have lost in For
eign loans since 1872 at least $500. OOO.-
600. 0'
TIL let you off easy this time" as
the horse said when he threw his rider
into the mud.
| IEsoUaH sleeping cars are now run
nlng irom Washington to New Orleans
without change.
BISMARCK gives no announcement to
the flash talk of the street. When a
man says Chow is Bis.2" he rebukes
him.
/ In the line of s.How to Bring I'm
Parents is the speech of the little bow
who said, "Father, I think you should
give up swearing or family prayers
The boy recognized the fitness of
things.
AN old minister wants to know why
church folks of the present day will
persist in running into the habit of
calling meeting house s'tabernacle'
"a word which strictly means little
hut, booth or tavern.
PLEASING item of news from .Hulmer
vile, Pennsylvania: ION Friday last
the corn grown on the cemetery lot
was sold at auction. "-Norristow
| Herald
A YOUNG Irishman, searching for his
fathers pig, accosted an Irishman
as follows: "Have you seen a
stray pig about here 2" To which Pat
responded: "Faix, and how could 7
tell stray pig from any other ?"
CHATS very rich butter" said a
Wabash avenue landlady, the other
morning, / with a recommendatory
glance to the product OF, the dairy re-
ferred to. "It ought to be-" returned
a cruel hearted boarder, Gas I discover
81 has a good many heirs =
Mr.. T. T. COFFIN, of Dutch Flat, Cal,
wants "a female woman" for a house
keeper. He offers good home, easy
work, liberal wages and prospect for
promotion. 'No pinned back beauties
nor beauties from Brooklyn need ap-
ply"
I'LL not leaf zee, SOW lone you,
To bine one on re schtem
Zine re lofty are szchicl ingk,
Ooh ezchleeb SOW fZ dem!
Zcs ghyntly schgadder
Zy leafs on the bet,
VairZy maids of ze karten
Lie schentless and tet!'
Two sons of Erin were standing by
hydraulic press, when one of them
called out to the other: Jim, Id
like to put ye under and square the
devil out O ye.' "Would ye, indade,
my boy 2" was the answer. "Squaze
the devil out o you an there'd be moth
ing left"
WHEN is a lady's dress like an un-
fortunate bull fighter? When it is
gored. And when is it like partisan ?
When it is biased. And when is it like
Ia topper? When it is full. And when
is it like the sails of sbips When it
is trimmed. We haven't time to follow
this lead any further.-Loa0eU Courier.
A COOK in one of the New London
hotels has written cook book, which
has secured a permanent place in the
literature of the country. Writing
cook books, however, is not her only
accomplishment. She can speak two
or three languages, play a number of
difficult musical instruments, and is
woman Of no little culture.
As Detroit man was digging in his
garden his wife appeared at the door
and shouted: "Come in, you old
fraud, come in to dinnerl' As he did
not come, she opened the door pretty
soon and yelled: ''Hain't you coming
to dinner, you blasted she saw a
neighbor in the garden along with her
husband, and fnished-.sold darling
you Free Press.
AT the court In Belfast, recently,
Judge Libbey sentenced Martin L.
Tower, to twenty-five years in the
State prison. This fact was communi-
Gated to the prisoner s mother, who was
struck with establishment as to the mag
nitude of the sentence. What did
they do that for?':: she exclaimed.
$ Twenty five years why ne won't be
contented there three weeks.
No man Expresses thee, 0 free and
independent franchiser But does not
this stupid porter-pot Cypress thee2
No son Of Adam can bid thee come or
go; but this absurd pot of heavy wet
this can and does. Thou art the thrall,
not of Cedric the Saxon, but of thy own
brutal appetites, and this secured dish
of liquor. And thou protest of thy lib
erty," thou entire blockhead. Carlyle.
MARKING INK, UNAFFECTED BY
60, which is proof against chlorine,
may be prepared by dissolving eight
0i1ncea Of 1Axtract nf LOCKWOOD in water