The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-07-06
A LIVELY POLICE COURT.

l
sovereign in your pocket now ?"asked th,
court. "Il have not that" replied thu
Mccarthy, 1t appears that it took three
officers to compass his arrest, and they
| were three-quarters of an hour in effect
ing it. The court, thereon, made light
ming calculator of itself, as follows.
| "Three officers by forty-five minutes a.
| 81 an hour, 81; 81 into Francis Mccarthy
you can't, and two days over"
| Henry Mccall was found by an oficel
with brick in his hat, snake in his
boots, rage in his heart, fire in his eye
and a club in his hand, and removed tt
the First Precinct Station-house, where
the doorman fiieth not and the gas is no
quenched. He had an excuse in hii
mouth, but the Justice sent him off (fol
ten days) with flea in his ear.
Mary Jane Lawrence said that sht
cooked for living. The Court said b,
| would confound her out of her owl
| mouth.
fMary Jane, how do you cook a beet
| steakw
II fry it, sir, in pan."
The Court shuddered, but resolutely
| resumed:
"And how do you make coffeeW
81 Doil 1t, your Honor"
"Do you ever make strawberry short
cake W
"Do 1 ever make strawberry short
cake? Troth and l do, then, every
yearr
lis she In the habit of making straw.
berry short-cake, Sergeant Quinn"
"She is, your Honor; an old offender
"rhen send her up for sixty days."
The criminal, the brazen admission o1
whose guilt had terribly excited the
audience, was removed with some diff
Guilty, as a surging mob of dyspeptics
"Margaret McFall, what do you do Tor
a livngp
"SeWing- m achine, Your Honor"
GA Wheeler and Wilson," said Ser
geant Quinn. in corroboration. She was
sent Tor ten days where there is weeping
and wailing and picking OF teeth.
Lewis Manning, a hang-dog looking
scoundrel, was brought up tor striking
his mother, who produced the eye he had
given her, carefully enveloped in shawl.
The Court read the young rufiian a se-
we're lecture on his offense. In old times,
he said, the man who was guilty of such
a crime had his hand cut off. He did not
altogether approve of baby-farming, but
if Mrs. Manning had about nineteen
years previously taken her sons life, no
cept of justifable intanticide. Desirable
as it was, it was nevertheless impossi-
BILE that Mr.. Manning should be born
again and Mrs. Manning slay him, so he
{ the Justice) would send him Mr.. Man
ning) 10 prison in default of $500 bail.
Peter Clancy and William Jennings
were charged with playing baseball in
the streets. The officer explained thai
the return match between the Cherry
street Barelegs and the Water-street No.
Stockings was in progress; when one of
the latter nine. stepped to the home.
plate and sent a red-hot liner between
right and center field.
S.Did he score on itW asked the right
eous Judge.
"They made nineteen," replied. the
officer.
"Nineteen basesw
ssNineteen home-runs. Right field mis-
judged it and the ball went into Null
doon's grocery window, and the two
mines and one scorer ran home. They
Mr.. Muldoon's clerk, made a double play
and took in their umpire and the other
scorer"
His honor wrote, "Rep. and Dis"
Latin for "Reprimanded and Dis
charged") on the record, then in stage
whisper remarked to the clerk:
"What Is the practice, Mr.. Clerk, in
these eases?"
swell, your Honor" replied that Off
cial, "the law vests the Court with much
discretion. Generally we have such
boys tied to the hydrant and burned
alive; but Justice Otterbourg, who is a
man, never does more
than hang them."
The culprits buried their knuckles in
their eyes and dug out each muddy
tear.
"Boiling in OIL" remarked the Court,
meditatiyely, ''may be effectual. Ser
Keant, send down stairs and tell Mrs.
Foster to put the boiler on, and Well all
have an execution"
81 object,p remarked Master Clancy.
"Think, sir, Of the other hearts that
would acne" said Master Jennings.
swell, boys" said the Court, II will
give you another chance. You may re-
turn to your domestic hearths-stoves,
you know; but il ever you come here
again, by the grazing Nebuchadnezzar,
Pill
The doerman opened the wicket gate
and the boys stepped out with such ra-
pidity that in one moment they were lost
to sight, though long after they had dis
appeared one could near them whiz.
Annie Carter was adduced by an Off
GER, who said he saw Carter drunk on
Mulberry street. A very neatly ar
ranged trio for prisoner, Court and SER
yeant was introduced.
Prisoner--I took the pledge three
years ago and never have been drunk
since. Three years ago took (da capo.
Sergeant Quinn--Wnat?
The Court-Five dollars.
John O'ConneH was probably the
worst scared shoemaker in America
when they hauled him before the Court.
He had only 81 left wherewith TO support
lis family for the week, and, as he said,
scould not afford to pay a fne," the
Court let him 60, and he departed pro-
,ably the most grateful shoemaker in
America.
Charles Carter earns from So to$4 a |
less. On being con-
'ronted with the possibility OF beigg fined
,hree and one-third weeks earnings, his
,toicism gave way, and he pleaded Tor
mercy. This he would have obtained |
lad he not been proved disorderly. |
sThat's bad" said the Court, every bad. |
was about to give you the fat side OF
he sword OF Justice, but on second |
boughts, / shall make it the edge, to |
he extent OF So.
Catherine Connors smilingly admitted |
hat she had been dancing on the corner