Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1875-03-10
3tU and Dnpor.
Sparks and Spllntcrs.

/
eight hundred and scvcnty-iour years ago.
| sally" Ior', Miss How the time do slip
away
A Wf-trnN poet, who had expressed
wish to die amid the grand solitude of the
eternal mountain tops was killed by the
explosion oi q pint Of cheap Kerosene
81 WILL and hoqucath, said ana lrshmau in
his will 10 my beloved wife an my prop
erty, without reserve aud to my oldest SON,
Patrick one half the remainder; and to
Dennis, the youngest son, the rest II any
thing is leii IL may so to Terrence McCarty
in sweet Ireland"
A poc1on and a preacher were bandying
words on physical prowcss. " One blow
from my est" said the d. d., "would show
YOU the meaning Of blue mass And
one blow from mine, said the NJ. d., "would
be- new and cheap method of spreading the
| Gospel
4 FREE negro was brought before magi.-
| trate and convicted Of pilterng. The mag
Estate begins 20 demonstrate. DO You know
how TO read 2" " Yes, mas,a, little "Nell.
don't you ever make use of the Bible -
Yes, ma,sa, / strap my razor on it some
times
WHAT do care about the TeochcrIil-
ton affair ~ said weary crusader home
ward bent III Mrs. Billion Is right. then
Mr.. Meccher is wrong and IL Mr. Bouiton is
wrong then Mr.. Frank Milton don't amount
10 anything any way What's the odd. p!
Al preachers are c'Wn, sir all c'mpt'
A LADY recently sent fur cape to fur
establishment for some repairs. She cN-
planned her wishes in the following note " /
want mi kapc mcndid whar tine mices morcd
| it in gud ship"
"J. GRAY-pack with M, box five dozen
| quills.' There is nothing remarkable about
| this sentence only that 10 is nearly as short
as one can he constructed aud yet contain
all the letters of the alphabet.
ANDREW JACKSON was accused of bad
/ spelling but John Randolph defended him
/ 10y declaring that 90 mn must hc 20 fool who
could not spell word more ways than one
"Orn professor does wonderful things 800
| surgery" said "a young medical student; he
! has actually made 70 new Zip for q h0y taken
/ from his check" An we'll Z" said his old
aunt, many'- the time have known pair
[ taken from mime, and mo- very painful opera
/ tiou either
FARMER (nho has directed Patrick 10 yoke
/ the oXen) -"What are you carrying that club
| fort Pat" Faith, sur, how viii ! liver
I git the contrivauce on them IT don't knock
| thin prong, oil the hides othim
A LITTLE girl, four years a created
| ripple by remaking 10 tn, teacher of bier
| Sunday-school class Our dog, dead ]
bet the angels were scared when they see
him coming mp the walk. He's cross to
/ strangers
VINES the cold wind blows, take care of
| your nose that it doesn't get froze, and wrap
| up your toes iu warm wooden hose" The
| above, we suppose. was written iu prose. hy
some one who knows the effect, of cold SHOWS.
Az Indiana farmer. needing package of
screws writes 10 his merchant in town
Deer -pleze crud 10y the hawr ] (wou)
| pagig Of Nkrough~, mejoum ,isc, an Sow
Scheep Skiough dry1cr ana oblecge' etc.
A. the chief engineer OF ,peIlugschool
that farmer would be heard from.
A ver,fcatiou of the old jol,, has alrpad,
been attempted with much success The
/ pilgrim DER the desert wild should Meier lct
want confomd him, for he ai amy time can
eat the sand which is around him. II might
seem odd that he could find such palaiahlc
| fare, did We not know the sons of Ham were
| bred and mustered there
"IIEnnERr" said apcrplexedmothrr. ..why
is it that you're not better boy 2" well,
said the little fellow, soberly locking up into
her lace WIN ms honest blue eyes, " sup
| brl" We u,inl tba chiil cor. , I'u', roi
reason y,bvn nf ms Li., ,.,,.il w. mn ar.'
mot hector tbon ~. ara
\ RURAL genius keeps hens from scratch
| ing m the garden 10y slappng sharp spur
TWO inches long and mcllnlng downward
ana backward 10 the legs oi the hens. The
/ hen attempts TO scratch the spur digs into
the soil and the hen is thrown forward.
linus She Is Kept Stepping and Is promptly
walker "lt ei the garden
A HELENA CMontana) divine. who bo,
/ sn,nt fine host NAM of tL. .,,,,,,,.., IL, CL;.t
laliHing Chlnanan Thought he was get
lng along nicely untllsIohu made PROPOSE
,Ioh To NM the other day, to put m with
MN and start faro bank
FINE cane you've got" said Cabapplc
to our friend ShaWneyhaum the other d9v.
Yes, sir :" said Shawueybaum, 20, he gazed
lovingly upon the crutch; &c brought that
cane from lIengland' What kind of wood
is it 2" said Crabapple. "Well. Sir" said
ShaWneybaum " it looks like azel or ickory.
or You might take il for a HELM. or a hoax
but after all, its only hash /"
..p,,.rr>. hard r,,J,r Goo, ,l...n
one citizen to another a, they met in the