River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-01-15
The Nevada Jenkins--A Leaf i'm His
History.

|
Says the Chicago Tribune: The
fashion reporter of an Austin City, Ne.
yada paper, describes the belle of the
masquerade ball in the following as.
founding language:
"Ihe most gorgeous, stunning, high.
toned, richest, Massachusetts, incest or
! any other adjective for costume in the
outfit. was that worn by Miss Fran.
kic Clarke. She was the hifalutinist.
gayeat AMI galushess-dreSsed gal in the
room. She appeared in the room as
page, and she was page that any man
would leave another to read. Both in
costume AID action she was as perfect
as a big sunhower."
\ couple Of days after the appear
ance Of the notice, into the editorial
room of the paper stalked a young
man. His brow was wrapped in thun.
der, his body in a suit Of tweed. and
his hand clasped big lump of hickory.
lie pulled paper out of his pocket,
and pointing his finger to the para.
graph, said: 81 want to see the man
as wrote that ere" 81 am the indi-
yidual," replied the person. "What
did yer 60 and do it for that's what
Id like ter know" so, because |
thought you'd like to see your girl
made out one of the most bewitching
females that was ever set on earth to
keep a man from his hash and drive
balmy sleep from his pillow" snow
look here. Ever since that was pub
lished | can't get word out of her.
She sets in front Of the lookin glass.
and keeps gain on herself, and max
in squint eyes at herself, and pukerin'
up her mouth, and actin as if she was
a blasted sight better'n anybody else.
| want this ere thing fixed, or there'll
be an editors situation vacant" He
looked significantly at the club. For
a moment the reporter stood in pro.
| found thought; then his face brighten.
cd, and he said: oil fix it in next
week S paper. After you've seen the
the next issue, call and tell me the re.
suit. The young man left. In the
next week S paper appeared the follow
ing paragraph:
"A Correction.-We made grave
mistake in our issue of last week. In
our description Of the masquerade
ball, we accidentally substituted the
name Of Miss Frakie Clarke for that of
Miss George Waller. Any one who is
acquainted with the first named lady
must have discovered the error. 1t is
true that she appeared for what was in.
tended as a page, but she looked a cool
deal more like n bootback in hard
luck. She is not good looking, her ac-
tions were absurd, and every man in
the room kept as far from her as posi-.
bic. She thinks of moving oat of this
community, as it's unappreciative
When she goes she will be escorted out
of the town by brass band. The peo
pie of Austin will gladly miss her from
among them.
The next day the young man en-
tered the Office. In his hand he bore a
rifle, and his left was ornamented with
a big siX-Shooter and tremendous
bowe knife. He sailed up to the re-
porter. Il look warlike, don't I! |
don't feel bit like fightin'. you bet.
You jest oughter have seen her when
she read that correction. Why, she
jest danced a jig with madness, and she
sot down and cried, and then she come
up and threw her arms around my
neck, and SAID, Arthur, do you love
me Z You bet your best bonnet on
that said |. 'Well, never expect me
to speak to you again, if you don't go
and kill the Teller wat writ
that SANDER In course |
promised. And here am to kill you"
lie laughed long and heartily. After a
time he Quoted down, and the reporter
said: | suppose, in order to make it
all right between you and your girl,
I've got to become a corpse. III do
1t. Sit there a minute, and III fix
the business. lie sat down at a desk
and scribDled away for few minutes,
and then returned with a sheet of pa
per on which wBs written:
"OBnUARY.-It grieyes us to be com.
PEELED to announce the 5ud1en death of
Mr.. Chas. Keller, the young and tai
ented fashion edi,or. In moment Of
mental alteration he had slandered an
es.lmablc, accomplished and beautiful
young lady Of this city, named
Miss frankie Clake. Yesterday her
betrothed called at this office and asked
for the author Of the Islander, and
when he discovered him, shot him dead
on the spot. This paper will be unable
to give fashion gossip hereafter. We
find it impossible to fill the place left
vacant by Mr.. Keller. Though erratic,
he was man of kindly heart, and
could listen more attentiyely TO stale
stories, and drink more bad whisky
than any man in Austin. K. ]. p"
That's your sort" said the infuri.
ated lover. That's the thing to a
I. Come along. Mr.. Corpse. and this
a little lightning" The lady was sat.
istied when the paragraph appeared in
the next issue Of the paper, her lover
was regarded as a hero, and the Austin
paper ceased TO give reports of fashion.
able balls.
How "a Citizen OF Beargrass Missed
His Christmas Dinner,
We felt sorry for him. lie was sit.
ting in chair very helpless and linn,
ard Enthusiastically drunk. He had
7 ttso lt-al Ill -