The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-08-05
An ImpecuniOus Pilot.


An ImpecuniOus Pilot.
In "Old Times on the Mississippi" in
the atlantic for August, Mark Twain tells
the following story concerning an OLD river
pilot named Stephen:
Most of the captains and pilots held
Stephens note for borrowed sums ranging
from two hundred and fifty dollars up
ward. Stephen never paid one of these
notes, but he was very prompt and very
jealous about renewing them every twelve
month.
OF course there came a time, at last.
when Stephen could no longer borrow OF
his ancient creditors; so he was obliged
to lie in wait for new men who did not
know him. Such victim was good-heart-
ed, supplemented young Yates l use a
fictitious name, bat the real name began,
as this one does, with \ Young ates
graduated as pilot, got berth, and when
the month was ended and hesstepped up
to the clerks Office and received his two
hundred and fifty dollars in crisp new
bills, Stephen was there! His silvery
tongue began to wag, and in very little
while Yates's two hundred and fifty
dollars had changed hands. The fact was
soon known at pilot headquarters. and the
amusement and satisfaction of the old
creditors were large and generous. But
innocent Yates never suspected that
Stephens promise to pay promptly at the
end of the week was a worthless one
Yates called for his money at the stipulated
time; Stephen sweetened him up and put
him off a week. He called then, according
| to agreement, and came away sugar-coated
again, but suffering under another post
ponement. So the thing went on. Yates
! haunted Stephen week after week, to nc
purpose, and at last gave it up. And ther
straightway Stephen began TO haunt Yates
| Wherever Yates appeared, there was the
| inevitable Stephen. And not only there
| but beaming with affection and gushing
with apologies for not being able to pay
| By and by, whenever poor Yates saw hin
coming, he would turn and fly, and drag
| his company with him, if he had cOmpa
ny; but il was of no use his debtor would
run him down and csrner him. Painting
and red-faced, Stephen would come, witt
Outstretched hands and eager eyes, invade
| the conversation, shake both of Yates
arms loose in their sockets, and begin:
My, what race I've had! | saw yOt
didn't see me, and so clapped on all steam
for fear I'd miss you entirely. And herr
you are! there, just stand so, and let m'
look at you! just the same old noble
cOuntenance." To Yates's friend:l jus
look at him! Look at himl Amt it jus
good TO look at him Ain it now? Ain
! he Just picture! Some call him pic
ture; call him panorama! That
| what he is-an entire panorama. Ant
now I'm reminded! How l do wish
could have seen you an hour earlier! FO
twenty-four hours I've been saving VI
that two hundred and fifty dollars TO
YOU; been looking for you everywhere
| waited at the Planters from six yester
day evening till two o'clock this morn
ing, without rest or food; my wife says
Where have you been all night" l said
This debt lies heavy on my mind Sh'
says, In all my days never saw a mai
take debt to heart the way you do
said, It's my nature; how can chang
it? She says, well, do go to bed ant
get some rest | said, Not till that poor
noble young man has got his money 81
set up all night, and this morning out
shot, and the first man | met told me you
had shipped on the Grand Turk AM
gone to New Orleans. Well, sir, had Il
lean up against building and cry. s.
help me goodness, | couldn't help it. Tn
man that owned the place come out clean
ing up with a rag. and said he didn't like
to have people cry against his building
and then it seemed to me that the who'll
world had turned against me, and it was
MT any use TO live any more /; aud coming
along an hour ago, suffering no maj
knows what agony, | met Jim Wilson ant
paid him the two hundred and fifty dol
lars on account; and to think that her,
you are, now, and | haven't got cent
But as sure as am standing here on thi
ground on this particular brick-there
I've scratched mark on the brick to re
member it by-I'll borrow that none.
and pay it over to you at twelve o'clocl
sharp, tomorrow Now, stand so; lie
me look at you just once more"
And so on. Yates's life became bur
den to him. He could not escape his debt
or and his debtors awful sufferings on &C
count of not being able to pay. He dread
ed to show himself on the street, lest h
should find Stephen lying in wait for hin
at the corner.
Bogart's billiard saloon was great re
sort for pilots in those days. They me
there about as much to exchange rive
news AS to play. One morning Yates wa
there: Stephen was there, too, but KEEP
ont of sight. But by and by, when abOu
ali the pilots had arrived who were il
town, Stephen suddenly appeared in tn
midst. and rushed for ates as for long
! lost brother.
"Oh. | am so glad to see you! Oh, m.
soul, the sight of you is such comfort U
nv eyesl Gentlemen, | owe all OF yol
money: among you | owe probably fort.
thousand dollars. l want to pay it; in
tend to pay it-every last cent OF it. YoI
all know, without my telling YOU. wha
sorrow it has cost me TO remain 81
long under such deep obligation
to such patient and generous friends
hut the sharpest pang L suffer =
by far the sharpest-is from the deb
I owe TO this noble young man here; ant
have come to this place this morning es
pecially to make the announcement that
have at last found method whereby ca
nav off all nv debtsl And most especi
alIv | wanted him to be here when | an
nounced it. Yes, my faithful friend-m,
benefactor, I've found the method! ~
found the method to pay off all my deotS
and you'll get your money" Hop
dawned in Yates's eye; then Stephen
heaming benignantly, and placing his ham
upon Yates's head, added, Il am gong U
nav them off in alphabetical order!
Then ne turned and disappeared u
full significance of Stephens ''Inethod
did not dawn upon the perplexed ant
musing crowd for some two minutes an
tben Yates murmured with sigh:
swell. the US stand a gaudy chance
He WON'T get any further than the C's Il
This world. and reckon that after goo
deal of eternity has wasted away in tn
next one, III still be referred to up Their
as that poor, ragged pilot that came her
from st. Louis in the early days 7