The weekly Elko independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1872-1887, 1875-03-20
WIT AND HuMOR.

.#-E. ~
AMILwAuKEE man hid in a public
doorway and jumped out and kissed his
wife. She didn't whoop md veil MS he
expected, but said, "Don't be so bold.
mister-folks around here know mcw
& A R1ons upstart once asked n poor per-
son if he had any ideaTof the advantages
arising from riches. II believe they give
the rogue AN advantage over an honest
man." was the reply.
OMAnA boys prepare explosive cart
Esridgess5 bed them into u piece of meat and
Joss the meat to some ones dog. That
SdogIl%be humping along, thinking of
nothing In particular, when oil of q sud-
den he is blown into coffee grounds.
CESAR, why don't you fire at those
ducksf Don't you sec that you have the
whole flock before your III knows it
marster; but you see, when I gets q good
am Mt one of 'cm, tree or four odcrs
7wlms right atween it and me, and puts
9 GADAlLr paper has the following among
!s marine notices: 'Thc schooner Ai6a-
troSs was wrecked on tho coast of New
foundland, on the 18th inst, the captain
L.AWimmingz ashoro pnd tho female cook
: also, she being insured. for $4,000 md
heavily laden with iron"
A. GOOD lady, who, on tho death Of her
tret h4statfd, married his brother, has a
portrait of tile former hanging in her
9lnlng room. One deya visitor, remark
aug ING painting, asked, ais flat n men,
per of;your familyf" "Oh, that's nv moor
i8rotlisr-in-law, was tho ingenious reply.
A ~oENTLEiIAE took tho following tclc-
gram to a" telegraph Office: az announce
with grief the death of Uncle James.
Come quickly to read will. 1 believe we
arc the heirs. John Black"
igIAo; clerk having counted the words,
There are two words too many, sir. y
HAil rigliti cut out with grief"
: IA few'nights ago, as n Detroit notice.
man was passing n certain house in thnt
city, he saw n man drop from II window,
and heard smotlIcred cries inside. SIM,
posing the man Ia BIZ a burglar who was
escaping, he seized him, but l~iesoon found
ont that IT was the owner Of the house
whom he had arrested. "Well," said the
officer, ut looked suspicious 10 sec Won
urop out OF Il window in that way."
well" replied the man hcaving n sigh,
when the Old woman gets her dander up,
isainE particular about what rond l take
to get out of the hoursc."-Dctroiy FI,cc
Press. |'
AN old wolnanIon the day devoted TO
st. Michael tho Archangel, going into n
church ip Paris, where there was n rcnre.
sentation of that saint discomtiting tho
aeVii, put one large taper close To ST,
Michael, and another close to tho flcnI,
Woman p exclaimed the priest, "you arc
making an offering to Sntan; YOU know
: mot what you do" !z"I know what 7 am
doing we'll enough" was the reply; mbut
s as ! DO not certainly know where I am
gong, 1t is us well TO have n friend every.
Rev. WALTER DUNLOP was much dis.
tressed by,a scllism in his flock. occo.
stoned by an agitation being raised ;r
p Dunitrics on the subject of adult baptism
One day, in the course of his sermon or
the words, Slow, often would I bav,
: gathered thee, MS n hen gathcreth he1
chickens" his feeling on, the suLjcctbrokt
FORTH, and with tears hc said: "Oh. nv
ireegs, yc, ken hoo I've ~strivcn the ri'
+, + yesthe'wofds o. wisdom; yc ken hoo iR7yt
keepit yc year after year, rs n hen cover,
her chickens, but 1 doot after NJ there,
some deuks among yc; sac mony are ga'ar
al tao ulc water = Christian Union.