The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-11-25
NO.4O.
Items of Interest.

Reckless ship captains are most apt to
be wrecked. Ell a
A wife who has her own will may one
day find fault with her husbands.
None but towards habitually color
their boards. The brave dye but once.
A Philadelphia girl has broken her
engagement, because her lover "made
fun of the Centennial"
Where there's will there's way.
But where there's no will, the heir at
law has it all his own way.
You will frequently hear man say
that he does not like pastry, and yet he
has finger in everybody's pie.
The newest envelope for fashionable
people opens like book and requires
seal or monogram as big as hens egg.
1t would be well enough to have few
more Doctors of Laws. Most of the
laws in this country are ailing half the
time.
1t is said there are more lies told in
the sentence: "I am glad to see you,"
than in any other six words in the Eng
lish language.
Miss Ida Demorest, whom the Grand
Duke Alexis considered the handsomest
woman in the United States, has mar
ried Nebraska doctor.
M. Quad's new book, "Quud's Odds"
is selling even better than the publishers
anticipated. Quad is the funniest man
that ever handled pen.
1t is demonstrated that the weight
of the earth is 5,S55, 900, 900, 600, 900
tons, yet some people think they tilt it
up whenever they walk abroad.
A court in Indiana has recently de-
cided that there is no limit to the num-
ber of persons whom girl may sue,
simultaneously, for breach of promise.
Merchants you should never Let
Your advertising rest
Your big white hands were never made
To hang into your vest.
A London custom house officer says
that his experience convinces him that
women as rule would rather smuggle
their gloves and other knick-knacks than
receive the same rs a present free of
cost.
A young woman who inquired in q
Lebanon Qnd.) bookstore for "Good
Morals and Gentle Manners" was in
formed by the proprietor that he didn't
have 'em, as there was no call for 'em
nowadays.
This is the kind of weather that makes
the dashing young man wish that instead
of spending dollar and a half for that
massive diamond pin last summer, he
had iudiciously invested it in a pair of
winter drawers.
"You're always off at nights, Lean
der" said Mrs. Spilkins reproachfully
the other evening. eyes, my DEAR"
replied Spilkins. "You'll remember
even when I first proposed, you con-
sidered me pretty good offer"
The stove was cold,
The kettle wouldn't boil,
So she tilted the can
And put on a little oil.
Gone to meet the man who blew out the gas
1t is very desirable to be a good
reader. A clergyman is said to have
once read the following passage from
the Bible with the emphasis and pauses
thus : "And the old man said unto his
sons. saddle me the ass; and they sad
died him."
A Canadian journal makes the re-
markable suggestion that the ground in
which Guibord's body is to be buried
be cursed only to the depth of four feet /;
because the new grave will be made di-
rectly over that of Nine. Guibord, who
was "good Catholic.
It was diplomatic husband who pro-
tested to his wife: "My dear, if it
doesn't make any difference to you,
don't say brute and 'doltl' Use terms
milder. if not less incisive. If 1 must
have curtain lectures, let them at least
be damask curtain ones"
Robert Collyer in his lecture told this
story: He was at children's party one
Christmas eve, and on seeing a little boy
sitting in one corner who was not dane
ing, he approached him, and asked him
why he did not join the others and dance.
"Im not danthing." said the boy
solemnly, "because / don't think dan
thing it'll the great end of life."
The Hindoo Holy Books forbid q
woman to see dancing, hear music, wear
jewels, blacken her eyebrows, eat dainty
food, sit at o window, or view herself IL
mirror, during the absence of hel
husband and allows him to divorce hel
if she has no sons, Injuries his property,
scolds him, quarrels with another
woman, OF presumes to eat before he
has finished his meal.
Nelson was made an admiral in the
British navy in peculiar manner. He
was only a captain at the time, and fifty
third on the list. The government haC
guessed that he was man OF great
abilities and wanted his services. Ac
cordingly ffty-three admirals Were
named, Of whom fifty-two were at once
placed on half pay, and the hero o
Trafalgar came to the front.
1t is interesting to learn, through tn
5 testimony given at the inquest on al
: Indian in Manitoba, just how tn
s Indians there are supplied with whisky
This individual went into the store, an
= without saying anything, laid som
$ money on the floor; then he went Out
y and the dealer, happening around there
g found the money, picked it mp, set
t bottle of whisky on the floor, and wer
I to sleep. Shortly the Indian CHANGED j
Il there again, found the whisky, stole i
j. drank it, and died.