American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-02-06
How Mr.. BOgardus Was Convinced.

The other day man weighing near
200 pounds, who announced himself IL
Mr.. Bogardus, of Front street. walk ed
into the cOunting-rOom of this paper and
said he wanted to see the man who had
slandered him. Being asked 10 explain,
he went on 10 say that he had read fire.
quent illusions in the Free Press to the
Bogardus Kicker" and that he could
kick the man who got up The "kicker'
fabrications. Everybody was blowing at
him, and making sport of him, he said,
and he had decided not to stand it any
longer. He was direc ed TO call AGAIN.
and J yesterday he came upstairs. He had
several " Kicker" illusions cut from va
rious issues of the Free Press, and as he
pale-taced young man Mr.. Bogardus re-
moved his necktie and collar and whis-
pered:
There's goin' TO be gore in this ERE
room!"
"Do you intend to make personal
thing of this:' asked the pale-faced
scribe
"Them's my purpose!" replied Mr. Bo-
gardus, as he flung his hat into corner
q don't ride in kerridge, and l don't
hold oils, but Fin gOin' 10 take care of
my character When putty headed re-
porter ISLANDERS me it means a funeral"
But, my dear sir no one has slandered
you-these items refer to another Bogar-
dus altogether
They do, hey!" he whispered. getting
out of his coat.
They certainly do. This Mr.. Bogar-
dus lives in Louisville, and his Kicker
has found its way into almost every news
paper office in This country"
Cant fool mer' he replied, as he drew
his belt another notch tighter
-" But see here. Here is the kicker it.
self. We ordered it over six months
ago, and it has been on duty ever since"
Don't fool with a Numidian Uonr'
warned Mr.. Bogardus as he stood in
his shirt sleeves. "What is the kicker
for?"
This Bogardus who invented it," re-
piled the young man, "is Louisville
editor. For the last fifty years every
newspaper office has been bored by set
of good natured fellows who paw over
exchanges, want to get poetry published,
and at length feel themselves at nome in
every room. This Bogardus brought out
this kicker to get rid OF such persons"
Don't lie to mel" said Mr.. Bogardus,
menacingly.
No, sir, am speaking the solemn
truth. We used TO have forty or fifty
bores around this Office, but all have fled.
Some were lightly kicked and took the
and the coroner called it a case of hered-
itary consumption. The kicker is great
invention, sir, and you ought to feel
proud that your name is Bogardus."
How does she work." asked the
tranger, looking at the machine.
"She kicks, sir-kicks like mule;
that's why they call it the kicker"
It's blasted lie." roared Mr.. Bo-
gardus; "this ere thing is a power
press"
PLEASE sit down in that chair until l
show you," said the young man."
The stranger sat down and steam was
turned on. He wore a cynical look for
about half a second, but when the kicker
fetched him two or three he shouted out
"Lemme up-lemme gop'
" You are now satisfied that this thing
is all right, are you?" asked the young
man.
Yes-thunder- - oh = blazes-
stop 'er.'
And you are sorry that you came up
here and wanted TO spill my gOre?'
" Yes-Oh-blast it-yes-stop yer old |
And ever hereafter your conduct |
oward newspaper men will be character |
zed by balminess, liberality, charity and
"Thunder-yes-stop 'er-ohi-let up
IN me,'
And as soon as released from the |
oils of the kicker you will resume your
aiment and at once-?"
But he had tainted. He was taken
,ut, laid on the floor and four policemen
we're sent for to carry him down stairs
md get him into hospital. Mr.. Bo-
,ardus revived as they were loading him
IN to a wagon, but his talk was so incO-
lerent that nothing could be made out
tut:
"Stop 'er-grashus-my poor mother
emme up.-Detroit Free Press.