The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1875-11-18
Getting License.

preach, to plead, to buy and sell, to mar
~ and to drink whisky. License to
marry gives you a wife for better or
for worse, and if there is any worse |
in the case, she is the worsted. License
to drink is always issued by the drinker,
for in this case he is a law unto himself |
1t is customary for country people TO |
take out license to drink ia the early fall,
and to renew them at short intervals, |
until the list frost of the season. |
From relioole tables published by the
author o. ( Scientific Guessing" it is esti-
mateG that Of every eleven saddle-bags
the leave the various places where whis-
" is sold, nine have ticker In one
side to balance one or more in the other.
A good deal of this license also goes out
in vessels of animated clay. A voluntary
excuse is frequently offered to the effect
That they want to make some bitters 20
stop the cbills, the doctors say 1 Ought
to take some 'casionaIly along
l would remark en- PEASANT, t,oat the
doctors will be held to a stri ct account
for the many jugs of good whisky they
have ruined by telling folt.s to put obitter
verbs" and 5arks in it, making good
whisky bad, and bad worse. Once upon
time y.oungster about the age, size
aud APP, earance Of the writer at that
time, Fook out drinking license for the
rem Under og the week-six hours. He
60 Ok a hale gallon size. This was done
that he might be enabled to pay to two
other chaps, who with himself, were
three merry lads and all agog to rush
through thick and thin equal portions
as a bounty for their serving in the cam
paigu just about to open against the
coOns and pOssoms, which were never
safer than when these three mad caps
we're on the war path The woods would
resound with such songs as
The moon was shining silver bright,
The stars with glory crown'd the night,
High on limb that same old coon,
Was humming to himself this tune,
Get out of the way
Well the hunt or whatever it was,
came to an end, and the effect of it SO
far as the said youngster was concerned
viii be related as nearly as possible in
his own words.
81 didn't go home that night, but
stayed at my place of business. When
1 woke up in the morning thought my
head would burst open, it seemed like
1t was new ground, and half a dozen
niggers in it splitting rails. You may
talk about all the other aches, bat there
isn't one that should be mentioned for a
full half hour after speaking of whisky
headache. You may afliet fellow with
all the other aches the world ever knew,
and then give him this and he'll swear
nothing else ails him. got up and
opened door SO as to get the cooling
} breeze, when another trouble seized me-
My stomach and the whisky had trans
: ported there the previous night fell
out" and an internal land felt like an
INTERNALLY broil was brewed which result
ted in the forcible election of the whisky
along the same route it had been pro-
ieeted ] have no remembrance Of issu-
ing any return tickets. Well, whilst
performing sundry contortions and grim
aces, it occurred to me that some of the
Sc hair of the dog that bit me- might help
me, so found my ticker, but couldn't
come it-too sick, too sick. Just then a
parcel of pigs came sauntering along,
and as misery loves company concluded
to give them the cause of mine. Ipour-
ed the remainder Of my whisky into
/. their trough thinking there would be a
perfect rush 3" to get something to drink. y
: To my astonishmeut they wouldn't
3, touch it I threw some corn in with it,
with that they were familiar, bat of its
extract they didn't and wouldn't know
anything. In no way conld 1 prevail
q upon even the youngest to wet his eye. "
Becoming vexed at their swinish igno-
! rance 1 seized one ofthem by the han
dies of the hams, and thrust his nose in
: to the liquid saying, you shall drink
. But he wouldn't, he just squealed and
squealed, L thought he'd squeal himself in
to fits. His cries brought his mamma
and other relations to the fourth genera
ton back to Els relief They looked al
if they meant business, SO l dropped the
i,7cipieRt porkeF and fed. After many
COZ, gratulations, and endearing caressei
after the manner of hogs, they went NJ
/, TO the old trough to see what new article
of diet It contained. To my great wratl
every one of them turned up his nose a
what had SO often and so lately turned
mp to mine. 1 fell to thinking abOu
men and brutes, and reached the con
clusion that while it is imp ossible for
hog to make man Of himself it is quite
possible for man to make hog Of him
SELF This ends the youngsters nara
tive, and here ends its re petition.
JOSH.
Mrs Lincoln, who Is still 8 topping il