The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1875-12-04
NIBBS, MISFuRTUNES.

from the severe bruises received In at
tempting to demolish an empty -four
barrel, than tho poor gentleman was
doomed TO be the recipient Of far
more painful batch nj cuntusiuns.
One morning, at tie breakfast table
Mrs. Nibbe Informed Mr. Nibbs that
the grapevine was la shocking state,
and sadly needed trimming She also
requested him to perform the opera
ton.
He refused. -.
After a spirited debate, during which
the kitchen table was overturned, and
Mr.. Nihbs received well butt cred
pancake square between the eyes, he
finally consented.
Grasping the bread-knife, and not
needing Mrs. Nibbs, who advised him
to attire himself In some cast of gar
ments, he sailed out into the back
yard.
Grasping one of the stats, Mr.. Nibbs,
with boy-like agility, rapidly ascended
the arbor. He had almost reached the
top when an accident occurred.
One of the stats gave way, and he
fell gracefully downward.
Mr.. Nlbbs, with great presence of
mind, ciuiche frantically at the sky,
but missed his grab, and succeeded In
planting his head, up to the ears, In the
grass plot. Hastily regaining his feet
he gazed searchingly about In order to
see II his downfall had bnen observed
by the prying eyes OF his neighbOrs.
Yes, his misfortune had been Witnessed
by Mary Ann Moran, the servant girl
who WAS employed next door.
NJ. A. MS mirth was extremely ag-
gIavatlng to the feelings Of the unfor-
tupate Nibbs, and he seized large
stone. Stepping back several PAGES,
TO give impetuosity to the missile, he
ran with all his might and then hurled
the stone at the humorous hand .Inaiden
next door.
Mr.. Nibbs' vengeance would proba.
bly, have been completed but for an un'
expected interruption.
In his blind rage he failed to observe
that the clothes line lay stretched di-
rectly across his path. Consequently,
while he was at the top Of his speed,
with every muscle strained 10 its ut
most tension, the said line caught him
directly under the chin. MIR. Nibbs
few violently backward and struck the
wood.house with a sickening crash.
The stone fell short of the mark and
went wiggling through the back base
ment window.
Mr.. SNibbs finally recovered his
breath, and gave vent to bis pent emo.
tions In q series Of new and original
epithets.
Nibbs Is a man OF great resolution,
and. nothing daunted by the sad rehuffs
he had experienced, he proceeded to
mount the arb0r again--this time with
much less boyish agility, however.
He reached the top again and began
work. Everything went along SWIM
mingly for q while, and he thought to
himself what an easy task was that Of q
gardener. His opinion was soon alter
ed, however.
In his ardor Mr.. Nibbs stretched his
body forward to its full extent. Ths
slat creaked. Mr.. Nibbs, fearing that
the siat was breaking. threw himself
suddenly backward. In 30 doing, the
point Of inertia was thrown without
the base, and consequently, according
to philosophy, Mr.. Nibbs Was bound
to fall.
Mr.. Nibbs was sw0oping down to-
ward the brick walk below, like some
great bird, when q large hook inter.
cepted his fight. The said hook buried
itself into the bay window Of his panta-
looms, but as the material was not
strong enough to bear his weight, he
continued his downward corrse, and
finally landed.
Had Mr.. Nibbs lapded upon the
brick walk, we would now be writing
an obituary notice instead Of q humor-
QUA article.
Mr.. Nibbs' wife, with her customary