Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1875-04-01
A PROFESSOR IN SHIFTS.

The extent to which theory often fails;
in practice is furnished by venerated
professor, a most distinguished math-
ematician, whose works are still used as
textbooks in many of our institutions,
and which occurred within the compass.
of our own experience.
He went to Bethel, Me. On his re-
turn he spent Sunday in Lewiston. Mon
day morning he was told the horse was.
sick. Nevertheless, he started. The
horse went few rods, fell down, and
broke both thills. he then sent his
wife home, and also sent to Brunswick
for another horse and carriage to take
him and the broken chaise home.
When the drive came, they dashed the.
two vehicles together. All went well till
they came to the first long, steep hill be-
tween Lewiston and Brunswick on it's
summit they held consultation. The
professor had an exaggerated idea of his
strength, and said:
&c Mr. Chandler, it is too much for the
horse to hold these two carriages on this
steep descent take the horse out /; L win
get into the shafts.
professor" replied Chandler, +" the
breeding is strong, and so is the arm
girth."
But the horse, Mr.. Chandler it is
too much for the horse. Besides being
stronger, know how to take advantage.
of the descent, and can manage it mucls
better than the horse"
eff the horse can't hold it, you can't. -
"Do you, sir, intend to place me, in
point of intelligence and knowledge of
mechanical forces, below horse L
have made mathematics the study of n
lifetime"
81 have no intention to be disrespect-
flil, sir but / know that horse under
stands his own business, which is handling
load on hill, better than all the pro
fessors in the United States. 1 was sent
up here by my employer, who confdes in
me to take care of his property. If you
will take the business out of my hands,
and be horse yourself, you must be an
swerable for the consequences.
The professor had habit, when Il
little excited, of giving q nervous twitch-
at the lapel of his coat with his right
hand.
CT, replied he, with most emphatic
twitch, "assume all responsibility.
The driver, in reality nothing loath to-
witness the operation, took out the
horse, and held it by the bride land the
professor, getting into the shafts, took
hold of them at the ends. The forward
carriage was just descending the hill, and
the hinder one just little over the sum-
init, when the professor trod upon roll
ing stone, which caused him to plunge
forward, and increased the velocity of his
load so much that he was forced to walk
faster than he desired, and exchange
slanting position-with his shoulders
thrown well back and his feet braced-
which he had at first adopted, for per-
pendicular one. At length he was pushed
into run the carriages were going at
fearful rate.
At the bottom of the hill was a brook:
on each side, PERCEPTIONS banks. The
professor was between Scylla and
Charybdis, going nine feet at a leap.
In order to cramp the forward wheel, he
turned suddenly to the right. The
shafts of the forward carriage went two
feet into the bank, breaking botk OF
them short off; the lashing of the hinder
one slipped; it ran into the forward one
breaking the fender, and both vehicles.
turned over to the bottom of the hill
with tremendous crash, the learned
gentleman describing parabola, one OF
his favorite figures, and landing some
rods away. He rose from the earth
dirtier and wiser man; knees skinned
pants torn, a piece of skin knocked off
of his forehead, and his best hat as flat
as pancake underneath the hind car
riage; and looking about him, exclaimed:
is it possible that could have been
SO much deceived as to the momentum
1t was prodigious ~
81 don't know anything about mo
mentum," exclaimed Chandler, but 1
know something about horses. / know
it makes a mighty difference abort hold
ing back load on steep hill, whether
the horse has two legs or four, and
whether he weighs 175 or 2,200."
1t cost the professor $3.50 to ascer-
tain how much horse power he repre-
scented. SPARKS Of Genius.
FREyCHY