Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-09-23
M,scel,aneous.

intOxlcAtlnS Muoie
ChieE
Discoursing sweet music-blowing
yoursown trumpet.
sThe height of impudence-the
length of a book agent.-Marshall
Messenger.
A number seven hat will just fit 8
st. Louis mosquito bite.-Mila0auket
Spatiasz.
"a harder. subject to deal with than
even an old deck of cards, is man
who don't advertise.
Young ladies profess to be dread
fully afraid Of pistol, and yet they
do not want it to go of.
Somebody advertises for machine
oirl Is she better than a hand
Wilson'S Reflector.
Josh Billings says he will take the
stage this winter; also, the railroad
cars, when they run his way.
Printers pi is very indigestible,
and the one that makes it, would
rather see some one else dispose OF
it than himself.
"Any letters for Mike Hover ask
ed an individual of a clerk at Post
Office window. mo letters for any
body's cow"
A sailor sometimes realizes that
his barque is worse than his blight
(See ,Webster's Dictionary. Gin
cinaati Saturday Night.
The Milwaukee Ne,cs has received
an exchange with but one original ar
ticle-a five-line acknowledgment
of the receipt of string of fish.
81 have bought my first last, was
the remark of cobbler when he set
up business for himself. We should
have thought he would have bought
last first.
Jason Welch, of Iowa, got mad and
stopped his newspaper, and then be-
cause the withdrawal Ofhis patronage
didn't kill the paper he went and
killed himself.
The new Italian minister rejoices
in the title of Count, and is to be
known as Count Blanc, wherefore
Miss Grundy asks US if his equipage
may not with propriety be called a
carte blanche'
We always record with regret any
instance of mans striking his sis
ter-in-law. tits a cruel intimation
to his wife's mother that he'll never
marry in that family again.-Brook-
Ign argus.
An Englishman is trying to find
out, you know, why the double bass
viol player of an orchestra is always
baldheaded Perhaps it is because
the leading violin takes the air
N. G. Republican.
Father Imhoff, of Richmond, Ind,
has just lived out his hundredth
year. 1t is hoped by his friends, he
will live to pack his carpet bag next
year, and say to the public: "Imhoff
for the Centennial"
4 few days ago Norwich man
bought chest of tea in Providence,
and on opening found stone inside
weighing nearly eleven pounds. He
remarked that the weighs of Provi
dence are very mysteriOus.-Nor-
arich Bulletin.
A young lady in Minnesota boats
of having ten grown up brothers to
watch over her; but a NorristOwn
girl prefers to have only one brother
to watch over her-provlded he is the
brother Of some other girL-No,1is-
tom Herald.
A jailor in a Western State had
received strict orders not To keep his
prisoners in solitary confinement.
Once when he had two in charge one
escaped, and he was obliged to kick
the other ont of the door to comply
with the regulation.
Danbury has the champion patient
boy. He went to a neighbor's house
for cup of sour milk. 81 haven't
anything but sweet milk" said the
woman pettishly. "Pll wait till it
sours," said the obliging youth, sink
ing into chair.
Nothing is so discouraging to a
young lawyer just as he wakes elo-
quent about angels tears, weeping
willows and tombstones, as to be in
terrupted by the cold-blooded JUS
tice with "You're off your nest, bub;
this is case Of "hog stealing"
An exchange says the Sandwich
Islanders believe that Beelzebub
walks the earth in the form of a wo-
man." And now and then you will
find a man in this country who be-
lieves so too, and that he has married
the woman.-COurier-JOurndl.
A Chicago chemist, owing to the
nOn-paymento of his fee, refuses to re-
turn the stomach of dead man sent
to him for analysis. Although the
chemist has now two stomachs, he
doesn't appear to have any bowels
of compassion.-NOristoaoa Her
aid.