The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-09-24
4 CHAPTER on BOILS.

I've had boil, got it yet i'll fact-a
regular, old-fashioned eighteen-carat
''bile :" Well, while I've had it, I've
kept clean record of all the boil cures
that have been urged upon me, and the
publication thereof hope will result in
the early cure of all boils in this part of
the universe.
My boil came the first part of the
month on my hip, and the first man who
saw me limp said
" Holloa, corns hurt you 2"
/ said, "No, I've got boil.
"Dop't say! Well, now, see here
you go right home and get some of
Dallcy's ointment, and buy five cents
worth of lint and put it on your
boil, and it will be we'll in twenty-four
hours
/ thanked him, got on a horse-car,
and met another friend who urged me by
all means to make bread-and milk poul-
tice, md lie perfectly quiet until it should
are sore things, and they don't like to be
damned around much.
| thought so, too. but before L had
time to say so another friend reached
over, and, touching me with his cane,
said
"Did hear you remark that you were
suffering with n boil!'
eyes. sir, suffering is the word.
"Wcll, now, see here, John, says he,
call you've got TO do is just to live it
down. Live we'll, eat plenty of beef
steak. mutton-chops, eggs, and omelets,
and then if you will drink glass of hot
water before breakiast-nct warm water,
You know, but just as hot ms you can
stand it-you will drive all the impuri-
ties ont of your blood instanter.
Reaching my place of business | found
three more boil-curers awaiting me. The
first said
Now, you just give quarter and I'll
slip out TO drug store and get box of
mercurial ointment, and I'll ease you in
less than three minutes. You see it
drives the matter back in the blood and
the blamed thing has to heal up in spite
OF itself.
But while ] was taking out the quar-
ter another friend stepped up and beg
ged me not to waste time or money on
mercurial ointment he had had boils
from boy up to two years ago, when
an old woman on Long Island, a friend
of his mother. in-law, had cured him
completely the matter mustn't be driv-
en- back into the blood, but must be
coaxed out of il if not there could be no
certainty about the thing.
And now if you will just let your
boy go down to botanic drug store, &"
said he, "and ask for ten cents worth
of red cedar berries, and take and stew
them III pint of water and drink the
tea, You'll never have another boil ;"
The next man was q woman who had
listened to the last two prescriptions.
She now put i'll her oar. Her husband
had had boils all over his body, and
what she knew about the boil bust
ness was only equalled by the late II.
,H. in the farm line. There was only
one sure cure for boils; A few cents
worth of honey mixed with -four and
the yolk of an egg would draw boil to
a head quicker than all the salves in
creation.
Ny boy was standing, hat ia hand,
waiting patiently to be sent for one or
all of these lotions when Wall street
friend stepped in and said:
"Why, / can cure you of dozen
boils in less than two days any time, or
at least can on any one in the street.
You see we use bears grease on the
bulls, and the gall of bulls to poultice
the bears with. JAY Gould buys all
the dead bears at the Central Park and
Barnum Museum, and keeps ten men
at work boiling-out bears grease, and
he often draws the sorest boils to head
before the owners know it - besides he
knew men who contracted for all the
bulls gals thai came to Washington
Market
/ said, "My Christian friend, my boil
is too serious matter to joke about,
and it's not your kind. ~ L was about
to administer some needed advice to him
when All Irish tailor next door dropped
in and urged me to send out and get
little shoemakers' wax, and wear it on
my boil just one day, and he would guar
antee cure or make no charge for his
advice.
L Gent my boy back with his hat, and
Selling my own | started for home, hop
ing thereby to get rid of my tormentors,
who were as much worse than my boil as
the boil was worse than life-insurance
agent.
But man might as well expect to
stave off chill as to free himself from
boil-doctors. Before / reached home /
met an old friend who, after sympathiz-
ing with me, informed me that if would
Just mix tablespoonful of "Injun "
meal In little water and drink it three
times week, it would eradicate all the
eiiiuvia from the blood, and make me feel
like morning star.
On reaching home found Spiritual