The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-08-07
Confessions of an English Vagrant

The British Charity Organization Society
Reporter prints the following letter:
| SHERBoBNE UNION Work HOUSE, !
| July 10, 1875.
Honored SRI duly received your note o
the 18th inst, to which now reply. I com
mence with the quack doctors. In the frs
place, / must tell you that never engaged
IN the dirty business on my own account.
have been tool in the hands of others. Tbs
| first time it was in Yarmouth. A q1ack who
was lodging at the same "ken" with me
asked me if was willing to earn q couple Of
shillings easily. replied in the affirmative.
| This was to come into the market place in the
afternoon, while he himself was expatiatipe
on the virtues Of his infallible medicine, and
purchase half dozen boxes of the pills, say.
ing that myself and others had derived i'm
mense benefit from their use, and that for
the future, l was resolved never to be without
| them, the money to pay for them having been
given me beforehand by the "doctor" (save
the mark) Well, carried out my instruc-
tons to the letter, and so we'll pleased the
modern Esculapius that in the evening he
employed me to work for him at salary of
81 per week, besides travelling expenses. I
was now to be initiated in the sublime mys-
terry of compromising the medicines" almost
invariably "pills." My duty was to collect
the Ingredients, and l now solemnly declare
that got them -ready-made from the sheep
fold or the rabbit warren. Those from the
sheepfold had to be considerably reduced in
size, after which they were coated with finely
pulverized sugar and flour, and, after be-
ing dried to proper consistency, they
were placed in pill boxes, which are easily OBJ
tanned, and then held forth to the dolts who
were silly enough to listen to him as "Ameri-
can sugar-coated pill" purely vegetable and
warranted not to contain one particle of mer-
curry, colocynth or other deleterious poison,
so extensively used by regular doctors. These
pills are sovereign remedy for bilious dis
orders, liver complaints, dyspepsia or indi-
gestion, the symptoms of which are learnedly
described by the orator (Which was gener-
ally myself, learned by heart from the medi-
cal work by DR.. Buchanan. When we were
travelling in country villages there was no ell
which flesh was heir to" but my master-bla-
tant ignoramus as he was-would not under.
take to cure-worms, piles, tusky or itch,
govt, rheumatism, ulcers, fits, etc. but the
naked truth is that he was q greater fool
than /.
He could not read paragraph in a news
paper, and could scarcely write his own name
He knew no more about the maladies he pro-
fessed to cure than hog; but he possessed
in an eminent degree that grand indispensable
qualification, any amount of cheek, and his
takings on an average were el0 week. 1
travelled with this man for about four months,
chiefly in the eastern counties. when ex-
pressed desire to leave him, when he imme-
diatey offered to raise my wages by giving me
twenty -ivesshillings week, but would not
accept it and left him. have travelled with
three others, all of the same kidney, since
that time.
Suffice it to say that set of more unprin-
cipled, ignorant rascals never disgraced earth.
Perhaps, sir, you may think that by turning
Queens evidence" am worse than the ones
I impeach; but don't wish to exonerate my.
self, for confess that am about the most
Of beings. But the truth ought to
be known. Poor people ought not to be sys-
tematically robbed by quack doctors or any
other description of rogues; for rogues, ras-
Gals, and liars are the whole fraternity, myself
included. Yours unworthily,
G. A. BRINE.
p. Sd was born October 30, 1912.