Los Angeles daily herald., 1875-05-26
All Sorts.

Blessed are the dressmakers, as the
little darky said when endeavoring to
repeat verse of the beatitudes.
"Sinful sectarianism'' is what q
Unitarian theological student called
it, because q Methodist girl refused
to let him hug her in a camp meeting
tent.
't0There is no sunset in heaven,n says
a noted divine. "We go further than
that,n says an exchanges; "there's no
getting up Of nights to draw the ba-
by's legs back under the cover.,'
Mark Twain could have married
sixty-five different girls for love, but
he waited till he could love one with
a coal mine in her own name.
A Chicago clairvOyant says that
Charlie Ross is in Heaven. She was
determined to locate him where no de-
tective could strike his trail.
The Milwaukee paper which asserts
that there are forty-four yards OF TRIM
ming on a lady's bonnet willfully ex-
aggerates. There are bnt thirty
eight. a34e aas4 'sH ss
A newspaper reporter who forgot
to address Donaldson, the baloOnist,
as professor had the doors locked
on him and was chased out OF the yard
by dog.
An old citizen of Verm ont observes
that when Post-office clerk gets too
high-nosed to lick a stamp on to q let
ter it is time that the country had q
change of administration.
Duluth is fifteen years old and nev-
er had but one breach of promise suit,
and that was settled by giving the
plaintiffs father pair of cow-hide
boots with red tops.
The Rev. Murray condemns the re-
ligous excitement in England. the
| true way to serve the Lord, according
| to his ideas, is to own eight race hors'
es and brag up the Adirondac regions
Lexington was great battle, all
things considered, but that's no ex'
cuse for charging a centennial visitoi
| thirty-rive cents for piece OF GUS
tard pie and leave to sit on a horse
block to eat it.
II 1 asked maiden of seventy three,
how old lassie would get to be, ere
hope of welded bliss would flee; said
| seventy-three, you needn't ask me,
inquire of Susan B. Anthony.
Somebody who has heard Of a propO-
sition to have seperate street cars for
women, says that he sees no necessity
for it, as he never had any objection
to riding in the same car with wom-
an.
The latest Irish bull we read of is in
the case of an Irish gentleman who,
in order to raise the wind whereby to
relieve himself from pecuniary embar-
easements, got his life insured for a
large amount and then Drowned him
self.
Darwin has weakened on his theo-
ry, or rather taken new one. He
says it takes 100, 0,000 years for an ape
| to be transformed into statesman.
We don't know much about apes, but
| it would seem as if they would get
discouraged and decide on remaining
apes.
DR.. Hall says that person should
not take over two drinks of water per
day, but water doesn't cost anything,
and if man wants to drink a barrel
an hour he'll do it in spite of all the
DR.. Halls in America.
A man digging well in New Jer-
sey came across hoop-skirt eighteen
feet beneath the surface of the ground,
and it flew up and struck him across
the nose just as naturally as if he had
come across it in an alley.
A Waterbury, Connecticut, baker
lately smoked 100 cigars in thirteen
honrs, on a wager. Everybody was
satisfied excepta neighboring under
taker, who was bitterly dissappoint-
ed at seeing him emerge from the or
deal as lively as Nebraska grasshop-
per. sa
An Eastern paper says the spectacle
of party of men coming from Cali
fornia to Vermont to work gold and
silver mine would be something
strange indeed; but there is story
that some Callfornians, having tested
quantity of the ore from the Will
mington, Vermont, mine, are going
for it.
The latest wrinkle with woman of
fashion is that of having model of
her bust made, stuffed with wool and
covered with cambria. This is depos-
tied at her dressmakers and upon 1t
her dresses are fitted, saving the afOre-