, 1875-06-20

hereafter We will not associate with or eounta-
nance suysfemsle who wears false hair or false
teeth (uuder 20 Years Of age), ho uses corsots
or paints, and Who allows har trail to dreGgla In
the streets.
:'Are The young ladies' of:tbs present day ds
| for wives :" asked i lecturer OF his audience.
"They are at Tor husbands, responded female
voice; but the trouble is, you men ara not tit
for wives!" Ths applause ~wss great, and so
| WAS the discontinue Of tha lectures. r. id.
A Tssusvilie philosopher is cudeeaiug his ornce
OF brains in ~ attempt to understand why
| woman can fail IN lore With q mar who hiss =
| cork leg. Somebody ought to inform him at
| once that ia nine cases out Of ten cork leg is
| much the most intelligent aud incoFruptlbls part
| of man. and there - nov and then WOMAN whe
compEehendg the fact. r :
The Letter Of the Law-Nervous old lady
oh policeman policeman there's 8 strange
dog that will stick to me, aud WON'T leave ma,
him IN charge, Or aomething?" Policeman
(who doesn't Ike the 5ob)--" Very sorr5, ma'azn
hut We can't interfere with any dog so long -
he's fonerin' O. somebody"
4 young lady On Beaumont avenue, Who haa
Previously led . most uneveptful life, Yesterday
took short walk. in the course Of which she
met the most hideous woman wearing the love-
liest dress, the dearest duck Of fellow with tho
sxeetest muatacha, the most horrible mud-pud-
dte, tho incest weather. aud the rusiest man,
that she had ever seen, known, OF heard ot-
When Mrs. Gerkes, OF Sixth street, aays ahe
will do this or that. she means what she aays
She told Ge,kes the other dsv that it he diin't
bring her q new dress at noon she would go up~
town and run him In debt hfty dollars. The
dress didn'z come, and she went uptown,
tEamped around sur three hourEr and W2s told
By thirty eight different mau that thAT wouldn't
trust GeEkes for bath brick.
Now, when the soft Sunday Afternoons coma
adolescept couples wander to some SHADY nook.
and, scared on grassy knoll, eaze with speech
less rapture upon the greeuness In zach others
eyes, and sir aud gaze, and slgh. until the even
ing shadows fall, when slowly home returning,
she tells her parents, with voice subdued aud
reverent bearing, that shs has been out to tho
quiet abode Of the dead, reading the Inscriptions
On the tu1nbstones.
The prlDee OF haberdashers does business In
Boston. He EMPLOYS in his establishmeur many
women, and his regulation ID that, when q
female enters his employ, she Ia Informed by the
head OF the firm that. whenever she ia not serv-
ing customers, she is st liberty to sit down in a
easy, and toat the approach OF one OF the pro-
prieto1s ia nos to scare her into appearance Of
" being busy" She is also to have four weeks'
vacation every summer, and when she is i'll her
salary IS continued without interruption,
Charipari has the following: gentleman
dressed in all black presented himself, one day,
At ,hs box Office OF the Theatre Oomiqae.
Madame" - said he to the tickes-sgeah with
tears in his eyes, Is wish = boz in order 10
place therein the body Of my wife at the moment
when the Requien Of ID: Verdi is played"
your wife dead!" ayes, lost her yeatettlay,
aud I thought that requiem would cost mo less
hers than at tha church, and then would pstuit
me- to hear the work OF IL. Verdi"