, 1875-12-26
RIP SLAMS MISFORTUNES.
Who Ktudled the ircnt Eirc nt En-
k0rss GN1Ch1
h-.

Nv name is Blam-Rupert Slam, but ont on!
vay the boys with natural turn to be vulgar
cali me Rip Slam. 7 AIN Virginiau by birth, I
printer by education, an editor by destiny, and
conduct the Bakers Gulch Recei{Le, IN connec
tion with which have lately earned some unde
served notnriety. having been compelled to shoo
Mr. Lapp, the rival editor at Baknr's Gulch, who
had charge OF ylllainous compound OF Gbe
and false pretenses, styled the Mountain Da'on
Lapp is dead, and 1t is true shot him, bur thai
the decd could hare bean avoided deny anl
equally deny that it was'n culpab1e deed ir
itself. On the contrary. ehall assert, to my
dying day, that it was deed done in behalf o1
good morals, aud this assertion will ma1ntain
with any arma the controverting party may
choose to select.
The Bakers Gulch RereiAe is published every
Wednesday,; the Mounlgan Lason comea out
every Saturday. We thus divided the week and
the patronage between us, and I was content to
the subscribers and all the Advertisements and
lie wanted also to be Clerk OF the County Court.
The result was that, instead Of being Damons
and Pythiases, Mr. Lapp aad myself became
rivals. I conducted my share Of the controversy
upon the most honorable high-soned principles.
II is not impugnIng the memory OF the deceased
to say that Mr. Lapp conducted his part OF the
rivalry like fah-huckster.
WAS and am q bachelor. l boarded at the
hotel but slept over the Office Of the Reueile
where small iron bedstead, buffalo robe, somo
chairs, a spttoon, aud the files Of the Rereille
comprised my small furniture. The night before
the last great fire which consumed Baker's
Gulch. there WAS poker party met IN my apart
ment aforesaid. 4 barrel and swo shutters were
in the habit Of serving "a for table, SO that it
became saying with the Bakers Gulchers,
''Slam's shutters are off," meaning that game
of some sort WAS in progress. On this occasion
there we're six Of Us in the party and seven or
eight spectators, most Of whom would have liked
to play, but were prevented By impecuniositY. Of
the players only remember Capt. Fristow, OF
our stamp1ug-miil; Rube Rollins, alr. Lapp,
and myself WE were playing d rather lively
game Of the 25~cent-ante species. with good
deal OF binding and stradding. Lnpp, who had
propensity to hold good hands on lnopportuue
occaslons, somehow had all the luck in
calling me when I vas most unwilling to be
On this night speak Of, Lapp's luck WAS pe1-
feotly astounding, aud he won from everybody.
Mr.. Rollins WAS in q bad humor, and I, filled
with the insane desire to get back my earnings.
Lapp, need not say. never lost his composure,
nor ever showed more life, more tire, than you
will End in su oyster or q cucumber. He dealt
the cards with his usual clumsy composuro, and
looked after the antea and chips with the
assidnity Of nurse mindlng infants by the
margin OF duck-pond. Gentlemen" he
l. 4
think can afford to etand treat" So he kicked
up Capt. Fristow's nigger, asleep on the floor,
and cent him over to the hotel toget us = couple
Of bottles Of vine. When it came, ! held q pair
OF knayes on tha doaL I drew three cards, and
found myself IN possession Of another Jack and
Two ACES delightfully."- full hand. 1t took me
"a to eooe in, and, as WAS just then without
chips, borrowed from Fristow, Who was slum-
bering agntn. hr. Rollins passed out, and Mr.
Lapp immediately saw the pile on the table and
bet $40: saw his $40, and went him S25 bet
Ter. "see here, said he, in bis impertinent
your money-l'va got good hand, and, If you'll
Just cau me, it's ali right-In show It'll" '.Mr
Lapp!" shouted, ''you are a beggariy econu-
lrel, unfit to play cards with gentlemen| DO
don't see it! " he Hneered. ''How can see it
when it is not put upon ths tablo2 Put up
FOUR money aud I'll talk to YOU" .You know
hat my word is good for it, said l. ''If
gop win from me you shall haTe tho money
,o-morrow { after breakfasts Rap Slam, said
snow you have no money to lose, and yop know !
know it. Stop. now-yonder's q file Of your |
PAPER from the start I want it. know you !
AVE another file On deposit in the Express |
;ompany's nre-proos safe. III give you Sloo
ny advice, you'll NOT be sgainst my hand, for
TIL win !" sold him the file and made my bet |
'ood. He saw my bet aud raised it just enough |
o take all my money-price OF tue ReceiAe flo |
minus the cost Of 3 cocktail or so in tho 1norn-
ne his hand-four queens. by jiugo! every one |
at me. and cutting sheep's eyes at the |
ce in the corner.
Lapp rose. Gentlemen" said ho, "day is
lot very Tar off, and thcre's nothing more to
rink here. My brother Slam goes to press in
therefore, take my leave and my file Of the
eere1Ae." And 30, With diabolical grin, he de-
arted Hia boy took Capt. Fristow of to bed,
I'D when the Rereile foreman came to 70 to
FORK in the morning I rose, escorted Mr.. Rollins
. my humble couch, covered him with the buf-
alo robe, and, after giving the foreman an Or
er to 60 down to the express office for my file |
here locked up, and to fix up an editorial for |
he paper, I vent OF to breakfast.
At the breakfast-tabls found my delightful
Id friend, Col Dehonair, and Mr. Chops, an
,nglish traveller, to whom the Colonel intro
need me. After breakfast we adjourned to the
'olone1's room, and. by sending for James Ad-
lson, Esq, were able to make up one OF the
,ost charming whist parties ever took hand
18th. At O'Clock P. m, with honors easy and
;ame-our seventh successive rubber won-and
even empty bottles under the table, We were ]
tartled by the cry Of u Fire!" eprang to the
indow, only to see the Office aud building OF
10 Reueille in = bright blaze, and Rnbo Rollins !
bringing from the second story window, minus
is hair and Iap-robe beard. The great dro 1t
aker's Gulch had begun!
Two days later, when the fre WAS extinguiahed, |
ut whilo the ruins still smoked, first heard
1e rumor that it was ], Rupert Slam, who had
aused this disastrous and overwhelming con-
sgration. I horee-whipped several pefsons,
1t still the rumor spread, aud I was too
1sy in re-establishiug the Office and restoring
Ie edition Of the Reue1As to take more summary
cans to check it, or to trace it to it's source.
ut on the Saturday week succeeding the fire
is internal Lapp, in the issue Of bis Mountain