The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1875-01-07

New York girls ps.l d
Fact--man says so.

odISCakOu d1lu8St UA8 StBcO u
young man for breaking her nose
while attempting TO kiss her against
herwill.
i The man who three years ago mar
ricd Newport belle says he begins
to 4 alize that a thing Of beauty Is
jaw forever.
Monkeys never grow older ia cx-
prcssio A young monkey looks ex-
actly lik64is grandpa melted up and
born over hgain.
Mrs. Partipgton, reading Of the
strike OF the Va drawers, remarked:
"Ah, me! what new-fa.qled things
won't they wear kex,?'
"Fanny' writes q I'm Brooklyn TO
ask why it is that III the young men
who have domcd ssAsw" ovcrcoats
this winter smell 50 ofbenzinc.
'.Hc provoked me into loying him."
| was Rochester girls cxcuse1or en-
gaging herself to man whdp she
had always profcsscd to hate.
A Covington man died and Gay
put him on ice; bnt he woke up 4,
ihe night and yelled out, .Wks
didn't You put some more wood /
that stove.:"
Brown, the mind reader, has goae
to Milwaukee TO rest for few weeks.7
It's about the only place in the conn-
try, he says, where there is never
anything for him to do.
A young man in Cairo has just
finished farm ballad containing two
thousand one hundred versca. II
reaches clear across the street and
would make four bustles.
Here's another point in favor Of
Detroit: No matter how homely Z
girl is she can enjoy all the rights
and privileges Of falling down on .
corner that queen would have.
Sallie Morris, pretty Newark
girl, is s'mind reader" She said to !
. bashful beau the other night, "La!
| believe you are going to kiss me-"
She was right.
That Boston youth was veil inform
ed in the ways of women who offered
himself to girl in this style: "Do
you love me, and will you be my
wife? Now, just tell me the TRUTH
about it,
In Berlin, Germany, girls find en-
ployment in the telegraph ofices,a and
one Of the published retrictions il
regard to dress is that the employees
shall neither paint nor wear their hsir
loose ON their backs.
"Can you spare me FIVE minutes r
said friend, entering our ssnctuuS.
"Not if two will answer your pvt-
pose,' we replied. He occupied but
one, and thanked us kindly for the
intimation.
Young America is very forward.
"I'll put head on you," ssM little
ganin to companion. g on try it,
was the quick reply, '.ard your moth
er's monkey will be acherub in ten
seconds"
"My very d-e.s-r Children said =
travelling Sunday y-schod gimlet, II
love you % nlach, l could talk all
day to you, but time forbids: but l
hoppe TO usect yoM in heaven, and
then" ~ hope he WON'T" said
restless. aed-headed boy. sHeH
talk us to death, won't he, Jim:'
Six young ladies' Of Philadelphia
who had their missionary contribu
tions stolen from their pockets in
church, got mad and marched out of
the sacred edifce exclaiming: "Now,
let them little nigger babies in Afri-
ca buy their own soothing syrup"
When a Westchestcr woman de-
tects her husband walking crooked"
down the road, she doesn't get mad
about it, but thoughtfully observes:
"Jane, l shouldn't wonder if it was
an earthquake that makes John walk
So" s4
Women have great respect for
old age. Watch a young lady seat
ed in street car between young
gentleman and an elderly one and see
how determined she is not to incom-
mode the latter by crowding against
him.
A Missourian who attended prayer
meeting with his daughter felt COM
PEELED to rise up and remark: 81
want to be good and go to heaven,
but if those fellers don't stop wink
ing at Mary there will be good deal
Of prancing around here the fust thing
they know"
Walking in the streets Of Cleve-
land the other day young lady met
a gentleman whose offer to marriage
she had some months previously re-
jected. She had repented her hastily
formed decision and informed him Of
the fact in this shrewd style: 'sYou
have no tact in this matter of love-
You should have asked me again."
A young lady in Wilmington, Del,
wooed by youth, refused to we'd un-
til he would abandon the habit Of
drinking whisky, chewing tobacco,
and, forsaking the Democracy, be-
come good and true Republican,
The sensible youth complied, and the
local paper oplnes that, happily and
thoroughly reformed, he will have
cause for thankfulness as long - he
lives that he ever was captured and
cured by such an angel.
The Troy Times relates this: "a
young lady in neighboring village
accepted an invitation from young
gentlemen to ride, and when the gen.
tleman came with his horse and bug
gy the lady found it impossible to get
in, SO closely had she adhered to the
prevailing fashion Of drawing her
dress tightly about her. She asked
to be excused, and, going into the
house, let out two or three reefs in
her dress. when she was enabled to