The New Orleans bulletin. [volume] (New Orleans [La.]) 1874-1876, 1875-02-20
BENJAMIN P. GUM.
HOW HE ACTED FOR The PEACE SOCIETY.


Max Adeler has the following in the Oar
bury Ne,rs:
My life insurance agent, Benjamin P. Gum
to whom I have alluded at length in my book
Is still around, and he is still canvassing &C
lively for his company. A day or two ago
dropped in to persuade Mr.. Pitman to TAX
out policy, and the following conversation
ensued
Gunn-I called -
Piman-O get out, don't want TO b,
bored about life insurance
Crunn-I Just dropped in to see if -
I Plttman-I know you did, and don { want
any, You can't insure me-
Gum If you will permit me merely to
Pitman-But I won't permit you. Skip
This IS the sixteenth time you've tackled me,
and I'm sick of it. amt a-going to insure
my life. That's settled.
Gum You misunderstood me, Judge. I
called to ascertain if you are member of the
Peace Society.
Pitman / am.
Gum l thought 50. And, of course, YOU
are willing to help along any scheme which
will put an end to war and murder.
Pitman- Certainly
Gunn-Well, then just listen to me. am
acting in behalf Of your Society | have on
hand magnificent plan for producing perma-
nent peace on earth and making armies use
less. Why did Cain kill Abel
Pitman dunno
Gunn-Because he had no particular inter
est IN keeping him alive. That's the reason.
Why did David bang Goliath why did the
Romans butcher the Cathagenians : WHY did
old at's-his-na me burn Ridley AID Latimer
at the stake?
Pitman- Hanged if | know.
Gunn-Why, because it wasn't money in
the pocked of any of those fellows to have the
other chaps walking around enjoying life. Do
you suppose Brutus would stabbed Cesar if
C'tsars death would kept Brutus hard up
tor market money? Not much he wouldn't.
Do you believe Wise weuld hung old John
Brown if Johns death would forced Wise to
borrow money to buy boots?
Pltman May be he wouldn't
Gum Well, then, look a here. Suppose
you was policy-holder in mutual life in
surance company, wouldn't it reduce your
dividends If you was to kill another mem
Der, and wouldn't you do your terrific best
70 keep that member alive?
Pltman- Strikes me | would.
Gum OF course. Now, what am aiming
1t Is to gather the entire civilized earth-the .
whole human flmily-into our company. sos
hat all hands will be perfectly wild to keep
everybody else alive. When this is done. YOU
an beat your swords into spears and vour
olow-shares into pruning hooks, for therell
de no more war Don't you see? I'm not
working for plltry commission or two. 1t
labor OF love. I'm trying to elevate the
ace and promote Christian civilization.
Pltman 1t never struck me that way.
Gunn-Anyhow, its so. And ask YOU, as
member of the Peace Society to enroll
our name among those who are CARRYING on
his great work. Terms as low as any other
ompany, and dividends payable semi-an.
uauy Unborn generations will rise up
nd call you blessed. We make our police
ayable at any age, or we'll put you in the
ontlne, and you'll dry the widows tears .
nd hush the cry Of The orphan. Go ia j
'r $4,000 policy, and l assure YOU tina,
le glad hosannas OF the white-robed angel
Peace once more viii resound iron.
re starry vaults of Heaven, and over the
nlHn5 earth the songs Of love will still the. ?
anger OF the war-horse and the boom of can.
ID, and man once more will know the fell
ty OF Paradise. Sour grandmother died OF
'er-complaint, believe: Lem Sne see. hos
d are you:
Pitman-y'm forty four in February. pue
e down for five thousand dollars. PAYABLE at .,
zty years OF age. Call in the morning with "
c papers. and I'll sign en-
Gum Good day. I'm Off. I've got an cyl.
cement with Cooley at II, and I'm anxious
keep it. I've haunted him tor two Years I
wo and he has succumbed. !