davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30
Too Poor To Take A Newspaper.


An anecdote is told of farmer going
one day to the office of New York jour
nal and ordering his paper stopped,
because he was too poor to take it any
longer.
Suppose we make bargain said
the editor, "in this way. Go home and
select hen that shall be called my hen;
sell the eggs that the hen lays during the
year, and send the proceeds to me as your
subscription for the paper"
The farmer was pleased at 80 easy way
to pay for his paper, and readily consent
ed. The result was, that duriog the year
the hen paid for the paper twice its reg
ular price OF subscription.
This lie by no means pure fiction, for
the same may be true in great multi
tude Of cases. Almost every one wastes
and throws away more than enough mon-
ey during the year to get a weekly or daily
newspaper that would furnish him with
intellectual food, and keep him posted in
the busy, stirring events Of the day. A
very small retrenchment in the luxuries
that almost every one INDUCES in would
secure daily visitor full of gossip about
the doings of the great world around us;
full of stirring events in the history that
is every day being made in onr own coun
try, and full Of useful, general informa-
ton, and facts in literature, science. and
art. Besides, it is the duty of the people
to support the press, for it has always stood
as grand bulwark between them and
political military oppression; it has sound
ed the notes Of warning that has often
aroused them to action; it has stripped
the borrowed cloak from corruption and
venality in high places, and showed then
in all their deformity, and is to-day thu
great friend Of education, jnstice, religion
and peace. The press speaks everywhere
at all times, carrying light in places wher'
otherwise perpetual darkness would reign
And when we remember what the worl,
would be without the press-how dark
ness, ignorance, vice and oppression would
flourish unopposed, let no one any longe
say that he is too poor to take a news
paper.-Pdnter's Circular.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30
An ORIGINAL NOVELETTE,.
q Aeruime Of To-1ay.' y
WRITTEN FOR THE HARTFORD HERALD,
BY VIOLA.
CHAPTER Ill.

How often, when we are about to real
ize the fond desire that has nestled in our
hearts since youth, the cup of disappoint-
ment is thrust to our lips and we are
obliged to drink deeply of Its contents, too
often to the very dregs.
Thus felt Latta Green, when she and
Fido, the old associate of her childhood,
went to bid farewell to her mothers grave
before returning to school Weeks had
sped by since her mothers death, but she
wac so supplied with griefthat neither Mr..
or Mrs. Ellis could summon courage to ask
her to return to school. When they did
so, she looked vacantly at them for aw lille,
and then said:
"Yes, Twill return, my kind bsnefactors,
as you desire it so much. But why should
II Whom have to live for now?-whom
to look forward with bright anticipations
when my education is completed? No one!
no one! for my angel mother has gone!"
She broke down at this, and laying her
head in Mrs. Ellis lap bursted into vlo-
lent fit of weeping.
Mrs. Ellis spoke of the deep interest she
and her husband felt in their bereaved
prOtege-how anxious for her welfare; and
as Latta grew quiet she went on to speak
of her mother, who would watch over her
daughter from her angelic home; and that
daughter should not swerve from duty,
even to herself or others. Though she
thought none cared for her talents, God
had bestowed them on her, and how nee.
essary it was TO put them to use rather
than bury them in her grief.
After this conversation Latta became
cheerful and more reconciled to fate.
As I have said, she had come TO tax,
a farewell leave Of her mothers grave
Just before quitting the cemetery, sh'
knelt solemnly down by the mound which
contained her dear one, and resting hel
burning brow against the cold slab tina
marked her mothers last resting-place
lifted soul and voice in prayer to that be
nignant Being who has promised to be /:
father 10 the fatherless.
So earnestly was she engaged that sh,
did not heed a footstep that approached
until sharp bark from Edo warned he
that che was not alone.
She looked up hastily, and beheld
stranger, gentleman apparently middle
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

Mark Twain, in letter to the inventor
of a mosquito net, talks in this way about
the only thing worth talking about, now
that the third term is gone: "There is
nothing that a just and right-feeling man
rejoices in more than to see mosqnito
imposed on and put down and brow-beaten
and aggravated, and this ingenious con-
trivance will do it. And it is rare thing
to worry fly with, too. A fly Will stand
Off and curse this invention till language
utterly fails him. l have seen them do it
hundreds of times. 1 like to dine in the
air on the back porch in summer, and so
| would not be without this portable net
for anything. When you get it hoisted
the flies have to wait for the second table.
We shall see the summer come when we
shall sit under our nets in church and
slumber peacefully, while the discounted
flies club together and take it out of the
minister. There are heaps of ways of get.
ting priceless enjoyment out of these
charming things, if | had time to point
them out and dilate on them little"
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30
Tickets. Sir"

This is the way it happened in town
not far from Elmira. One of the regular
attendants at Central Church is railroad
conductor. He is regular, not 80 much
from any personal inclination for Calvin-
ism as from the fact that he has first
rate Presbyterian wife, who keeps him
in the way he should 60. a few Sundays
since, one of the deacons was absent, and
our conductor was requested to pass the
plate. OF course he consented. For the
first dozen pews everything passed off
well. There was a regular financial
shower of nickels and dimes, and the
railroad man watched sharp. but couldn't
see that anybody got away" without re-
spending. Finally he came to a seat
where the occupant was either busted or
disinclined, for he shook his head, but
made no attempt on his pocket. The
conductor looked at him sharply, but no
cash appeared. Then he nudged his
shoulder, and softly said, Tickets, sirl"
Again the mans head wagged horizontal
ly. but the stamps didn't come. pass,
them" whispered the conductor. Still
no response Just as the railroad chap was
about to call to the brakeman and fireman
to help pitch the impecunious worshiper
out of doors, the regular deacon came in
and relieved his proxy. The conductor
says he believes in running a church the
same way you would train-if a man
won't pay, or hasn't a pass, let him git
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30
He Knew His Age.

In the times when the political war;
fare between Wings and Democrats
waxed hot and relentless, there was a
town out West in which the two parties
were SO equal in numbers that the varia>
ton of a single vote, one way or the 9TH
er, might be a matter of most serious con-
sequence. OF course, on both sides sharp
eyes were open and watchful.
A young man came up to the polling
place on election day and offered his vote.
1t was his first appearance in the charac-
ter of an elector, and he had the indie
pendence, or the audacity, to differ polit-
ically with his father. His father chal-
lenged his vote.
"On what grounds" demanded the
presiding officer.
"He amt twenty. one."
81 am twenty-one, asserted the youth.
"No you ain't." persisted the father;
you won't be twenty-one till to-mor-
row."
81 say l will" cried the youth. III
was born on the twelfth day of Novem-
Der. 1t is down so in the old Bible.
"Then it's a dod-rotted mistake" said
the old man. "You wern't born till the
mornin' Of the thirteenth Of November,
can swear"
"How can you swear"
How replied the father, Indignantly
''Good gracious, wasn't thar"
WELL" returned the son, with PROUD
defiance, wasn't there, tooy'
The young man voted.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

Daniel Webster's proposal to Miss
Fletcher is worth remembering. Like
many other lovers, he was caught holding
a skein Of thread or wool which the lady
had been unraveling. "Gracie," said he,
1--WE have been untying knots. Let us see
if we cannot tie one which will not unite
in lifetime" With piece of tape he
fashioned half a true lovers knot, Miss
Fletcher perfected it, and kiss put the
seal to the symbolical bargain.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

An almost ridiculous use of steam is
found on Duck river, Tenn, on which
placid stream a steamboat, drawing only
twelve inches of water, and having grist
mill on board, wanders up and down,
stopping where she is wanted to grind a
bushel or two OF corn for the farmers OF
the territory
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30
FARMER JOHNS RETURN.

Home from his journey Farmer John
Arrived this morning safe and und;
His black coat of, and his old clothes on,
"Now I'm myself" says Farmer John;
And he thinks, "Ill look around.'
Up leaps the dog-"Get down, you pup!
Are you so glad you would eat me up?"
And the old COW lows at the gate to meet him:
"WeIl, well, old Bay!
Ha, ha, old Grayl
Do you get good feed when am away?
"You have not a rib" says Farmer John,
"The cattle are looking round and sleek;
The colt is going to be a roam,
And a beauty, too; how he has grown!
Wen wean the calf next week,
Says Farmer John, "when I've been off,
To call you again about the trough,
And watch you. and pet you while you drink,
Is greater comfort than you think!'
And he pats old Bay,
And he slaps old Gray;
"Ah, this is the comfort of going away!"
s'For, after ALL" says Farmer John,
luc Dceb VI tuc JVuihcg
I've seen great sights; but would give
This spot, and the peaceful life live,
For all their Paris and Rome?
These hills for the city's stiied air,
And big hotel, and hustle and glare,
Land all houses, and roads all stones,
That deafen your ears, and batter your bones.
Would you, old Bay?
Would you, old Gray9
That's what one gets by going away!'
aTheir money is king" says Farmer John,
"And fashion is queeen;and its mighty queer
To see how sometimes, while the man,
Raking and scraping all he can,
The wife spends every year,
Enough you would think for score of wives,
To keep them in luxury all their lives!
The town is perfect Babylon
To quiet chap" says Farmer John.
"You see, old Bay,
You see, old Gray,
I'm wiser than when L went away"
"I've found out this" says Farmer John,
"Thht happiness is not bought and sold,
And clatched in life of waste and hurry,
In nights of pleasure and days of worry,
And wealth isn't all in gold
Mortgages and stocks at ten per cent,
But in simple ways and sweet content,
Few wants, pure hopes, and noble ends,
Some land to till and few good friends,
Like you, old Bay,
And you, old Gray,
That's what I've learned by going away"
And happy man is Farmer John,
o, a rich and happy man is he;
He sees the pease and pumpkins growing,
The corn in tassels, the buckwheat blowing,
And fruit on vine and tree;
The large, kind oxen look their thanks
As he rubs their foreheads and strokes thei
TANKS;
The doves light round him, and STRAIT and coo
Says Farmer John, "I'll take you too,
And you, old Bay,
And you, old Gray,
Next time travel so far away!"
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

They that deny God destroy mans
nobility, for certainly man is kin to the
beast by his body; and if he Is not kin to
God by his spirit, he is base and ignoble
creature.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

"Mr. D., if you'll get my coat done
by SATURDAY. l shall be forever indebted
to you" "If that's your game it won't
be done" said the tailor
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

An Arkansas youth came to his father
and said: dad, they amt knives enuff
to sot the table" Dad-"Whar's big
butch. little butch, the case, cob handle,
granny's knife and the one | handled yes
terday? That's enough to sot any gen.
tleman's table, without you've lost um."
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

A woman may be OF great assistance to
her husband in business, by wearing a
cheerful countenance. A mans perplex-
tiles and gloominess are increased hum
dred fold when his better-half moves
about with a continual scowl upon her
brow.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

A farmer complains that hook and
ladder company has been organized in
his neighborhood. He states that the
ladder is used after dark for climbing into
the hen~house, after which the hooking
is done.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

How woman can keep on talking
while she twists up her back hair and has
her mouth full of hsirpins is mystery
not vet explained.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

learn that his wife had gone to join her
parents in another world. He sought
her grave to pray his first prayer to God,
and there to offer up the vow of reforma-
ton. And there it was he met his daugh-
ter, as we have seen.
CONTINUED next week.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

No man can become thoroughly ac-
quainted with his family history without
running for office.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

A burglar in North Carolina, who was
shot by farmer, was found to be a wo,
man in male attire.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

Be temperate in your diet Our fret
parents ate themselves out Of house and
home.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30
WONDERFUL VITALITY

and indomitable will kept him alive where
any ordinary mortal would have persisted.
Finally, on the seventh day out, when he
felt that his hours were few, he saw the
returning wagons of the transportation
company in the distance coming down the
trail, and now that he knew deliverance
was at hand, his strength suddenly de-
serted him, and he pitched forward sense
less. The men picked him up, and after
considerable exertion, restored him to
consciousness. His famished body could
not at first stand anything more than nour-
ishing soups, but under the careful atten-
ton of Fred. Evans he was soon out of
danger, and accompanied the wagons to
this city. Here he will stay until he re-
covers his accustomed vigor. when he de-
clares his intention of again striking out
for the Black Hills.
The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-06-30

Hypocrisy is the homage that vice pays
to virtue.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-10-28

Chicago has improved on the invention
of card inscribed ''Hire a hall, )" or This
man was talked to death, ;" intended for
the Encouragement Of professional bores.
The present device is small cork fasten-
ed by thread to the button-hole. When
the speaker has olt-talked his welcome
the victim calmly places the cork in his
near ear.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-10-28
SWORN S!A!EMEN?
BOSTON DRUGGIST.

GENTLEMEN,-I hereby certify that have had
Catarrh for years. and for the last six years have
been terrible sufferer. | rendered partially
deaf had buzzing in the head, pains across the tenn
pie, dizzy spells, weak and painful eyes, swollen
and liberated tonsils, hard and constant cough,
pain across the chest, and every indication OF
consumption My head ached all the time. The
matter accumulated so rapidly in my head and
throat that could not keep them free. Frequently
at night would spring out of bed. it seemed TO me
at the point of suifocation. l would then have
course to every means in my power to dslodge the
mucus from my throat and head before being able to
sleep again. For a period of six years my tonsils
were liberated and much infiamed that could
with difficulty swallow finally consulted an emf
nent surgeon in regard to operation on them, but
at his request postponed it. The constant niam-
nation and liberation in my throat caused by the
poisonous matter dropping down from my head had
so irritated and indamed my lungs that caughed
incessanty,-a deep hard cough: Meanwhile my
that lost flesh, grew pale, and showed every symp-
tom OF an early death by consumption. When mat
ago, began the nse Of SANFoRD's RADICAL CURE
FOR CATARRH. After using the first bottle |
began to improve rapidly The first dose seemed
to clear my head as | had not known it TO be for
years 1t seemed gradually to arrest the discharges.
1t stopped my cough in three days. By using as Il
gargle soon reduced The Inflammation and swelling
of my tonsiIs, that they soon ceased to trouble
me. The soreness across my chest disap-
peared, the buzzng noises in my head ceased, my
senses of hearing and of seeing were completely
stored, and every symptom OF disease that had re
duced me to the verge of the grave DISAPPEARED by
the use of SANFoRD's RADICAL CURE FOR a.
TARRH
l have been thus explicit because a druggist l
have great deal of suffering from Catarrh and
hope to convince many that this is great remedy
am familiar with the treatment Of Catarrh as
pracised by the best physicians, and have consulted
the most eminent about my | have used
every kind of remedy and apparatus that have APP
peared during period of six years past, and have,
while following their use, taken great of my
general health, but obtained no relief encourage
ment from any OF them.
Since curing myself with SANFoEp's RADICAL
CURE, l have recommended it in hundred
cases without single of failure, and have in
numerous instances received wholesale orders from
parties to whom have sold one bottle This is the
only patent medicine | have ever recommended
never having believed in them before, although
stanly engaged in their sale.
Very gratefully yours,
GEORGE +. DINSMORE,
With j. +. WHITE Druggist
Sc Portland corner Sudbury Street.
Boston, Feb. %.
SUFFOLK, IS. Feb, 90, 1870
Then personally appeared the said George f.
Dlnsmore, and made oath that the foregoing state
ment by him subscribed is true.
Before me,
SETH j. THOMAS,
Justice of the Peace
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-10-28

A London dentists circular says that, as a
general thing, only men of culture 90 into the
tooth-drawing profession. And yet it must be
admitted that many of them are not men of
gentle extraction.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-10-28
State Of Maine.

WALDO $50 John A. Bracket of Lnconville,
in said County, GREETING.
WHEREAS John A. Bracket and two 9th n
w persons, pew-owners in the Union Meeting
House at Lncolnville Beach, having applied to ne,
Edward T. Hahn, Esq, one of the Justices of the
Peace, in and for said County of Waldo, requesting
me to issue a warrant directed to one of said appli
cants directing him to call a meeting of the pew
owners i'll said house according to law, to act upon
the following articles, to wit:
list. 10 choose IL Moderator to preside at said
meeting
ID To choose Clerk for the ensuing year.
3D. To choose Collector for the ensuing year.
4th. To choose Treasurer for the ensuing year.
9Th. To see what method the pew-owners will
take to make necessary repairs on the house and to
pay for the stove and funnel now in use in said
house.
9th. To choose Committee to appraise the pcws
and to assess tax on the pew -owners to pay for
said repairs.
9TH. To choose a Committee to make the repairs
And you are hereby directed to notify meeting of
said pewowners according to law, to be held at the
meeting house, aforesaid. in said town. on the 18th
day of November next, at O'Clock in the afternoon
for the purposes aforesaid
Given under my hand at said Lincolnyille, this
the 10th day Of October, A. ID. 1875.
EDWARD P. HAHN, Justice of the Peace.
A true copy. Attest
3wl6 JOHN A. BRACKET.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1875-10-28

The Hartford Times gives the details OF
q bold and adroit scheme to rob the First
National Bank in Rockville, Conn, which
would have been successful but for luck V
accident. The bank is located in the base
ment OF the Methodist church, and between
the plaster ceiling of the bank vault and
the flooring Of the church above there is
only q thickness OF two courses of brick
and mortar Late Friday night the cash
ler, Mr.. John IL. Kite. departed from his
custom and went to the bank to make q
deposit of some funds. On entering the
vault he noticed some pieces of plastering
on the floor This led him to look up to
the ceiling. He reached up with his cane
when it went through the plastering and
revealed large hole where there should
have been solid masonry. Mr. Kite made
haste TO secure all the bonds and money
IN the vault, including $50, 900 in green
backs, National bank notes, and other
currency, besides a large amount of bonds
and other securities. On the following
morning further investigation made in the
church directly over the bank vault show
ed that Il large piece of the carpet had
been carefully cut out and as carefully re-
placed, so that even the marks Of the cut
ting did not show. 1t was also found that
the flooring had been cut through, but
carefully replaced. and the planking
screwed down as sungly as if it had never
been disturbed. On lifting the flooring it
was found that a wide hole had been made
through the floor big enough to let a man
down into the vault below. Unknown to
themselves the burglars, in removing the
lower course of brick, had so far disturb
ed the clustering of the ceiling of the
vault as to cause the dropping of that tell
tale piece OF plaster upon the clean floor
of the bank vault, and that led to the frus-
tration of their well-laid scheme. Further
search revealed, snugly slowed between
the .oists, two bags OF burglars tools, in
GLIDING jimmies, crowbars, priers, chiseis
and other implements. The discovery
was made just in the nick of time.