The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-06-19
BUDGET OF FUN.
Islighted Affection.


"What l want to know" said a white
headed young man Of twenty, as he stood be
fore the Sergeant in charge OF the Contra
station yesterday "what came here for was Il
get some advice"
proceed SAID the Sergeant
You know Nancy Thompson, don't you?
"Never heard of her"
"Well, she's wilder, over forty years old,
and I've been boarding there
And we're engaged to be married.
"Whewn' whisIled the officer.
81 don't blame you, continued the young
man, IN a broken voice. "I'm only twenty
and she's forty, but man cant always tell
when he's going to make fool of himself?
"And you fell in love?"
81 did that, and as soon rs we got through
talking I'm going out to hire some one to
kick me over to Canada and back! Yes, sir
| fell dead in leve-loved woman oyer
forty"
"And what followed it?"
What follered? Why, what alters follers
Pm human same's anybody else, and when
l love, love like locomotive on down
grade What do you think l did in just six
weeks by the watchy Went to the theatre
sixteen times out sleigh riding twelve times,
had three parties. went to three lectures, and
took her out TO eat oysters ten or eleven times.
Fact, sir-cost me burned near 5000"
"But 1t was all for love-" replied the Ser
geant.
81 thought SO; and what else did l do {:
Bought her a $40 watch, a $40 bracelet, a IS
ring, a 81 set of jewelry, new dress, and
gave her five dollar gold piece with hole
in i'll Yes sir, drew $500 from the bank
every red l had-and used it up on her.
"And them"
"She purtended to love back, and when
squoze her hand she smiled, and smiled
and looked heaps of love at me. Shed lean
on nay arm, talk about Cupid, and git off
poetry by the rod, and 1t was plainly under
stood that we were to be married IN June
Oh, she knew her biz, and she slid around
me as n bengal tiger does around lamp"
did she break the engagement
Last night SAID the young man. swallow
ing the lump in the throat, "she told me she'd
been trtling with me all along She said she
was engaged to another man, and she never
could be more than sister to me! tell you,
sergeant, you could have knocked me down
with straw l braced up after while and
called her hypocritc, when she called me
a whlte-headed idiot, and the boardcTs threw
me out of doors. Five hundred dollars gone,
and Pm a wrecked man."
He blew his nose and wiped his eyes, and
continued
81 don't want to drown myself; the waters
awful cold, and perhaps I'll get over this. /
want them presents back and I'll go to Mus
kegon and try to forget her It's wrenched
me all to pieces. | can never love again.
Were you ever shook, sergeant?
mo, never
"Then you don't know the anguish-the
gripping around the heart. 1t cuts like a
knife, and all l can think of is being laid out
in a coffin, my right hand holding a bunch
of roses and my left resting on my heart
you are young man, and may outgrow
IT."
81 may-I may, but it's so awful sudden
and hits so hard, that feel as If had fallen
from a house. 60 to the house, sergeant, and
see if you can get them things back. film
alive I'll be around to-morrer, and if don't
come you may keep the things for your kind
ness. I'm whiteheaded, but I'm tender
hearted, and l want to retire behind some
barn and think"
And he retired-DetroH Free Press.