Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1875-12-14
AgrlcnIfure a Fraud
Cincinnati Timsa.l

~
ture. The dsadliest ignis factuus that
ever glittered to beguile and dazzled to
betray is agriculture. | speak with feel.
lingo this subject for | We been glittered
end beguiled aud dazzled and destroyed
by the same arch deceiver.
She made me thousand promises,
and has broken every one Of them.
She has promised me early potatoes,
and the rain has drowned every one Of
them; late potatoes, and the drouth has
withered them.
Size has promised me summer suuashes
and the worms have eaten them; winter
squashes and the bugs have devoured
them.
She has promised me cherries and the
curculio has stung them, and they con.
tain living things. uncomely to the eye
and unsavory to the taste.
She has promised strawberries, and
the young chinkens have devoured them,
and the eye cannot see them.
She has promised tomatoes and the
old hens have encompasssd them
No wonder Cain killed his brother
He was q tiller Of the ground. The won
der Is that he didn't kill his father, and
then weep because be hadn't a grand.
father to kill. No doubt his early rose
potatoes, for which he had paid Adam
seven dollars barrel, had been cut
down by bugs from the head waters Of
Eupbrstss. His Pennsylvania wheat
had been winter.killed, aud wasn worth
curing. His Norway osts had gone to
straw, and wouldn't yield FIVE Decks per
acre; and his black Spanish watermelons
had been stolen by boys, who had pulled
up the vines, broken down his patent
picket fence, and written scurrilous dog
gerel all over bis back gate. No wonder
he felt bad when he saw Able whiptling
along with his fac French merinos,
worth eighty dollars head, and wool
going up every day. No wonder he
wanted to kill somebody, and thought
he'd practice on Able.
And Noah getting drunk was not at all
surprising He had become a husband
man. he had thrown away magnificent
opportunities. he might have had a
monopoly OF any profession or business
Had he studied MEDICINE, there would not
have been another doctor within thou.
sand miles to call him "quaok," and
every family would have bought bottle
of "Noah's Compound Extract OF Go.
pher Wood and Anti.Deluge Syrup"
As a politician he might have carried
bis own ward solid, aud controlled two
thirds Of the delegates to every conven.
ton, As o lawyer, he would have been
retained in every case tried at the Ara
rat Quarter Sessions, or the old Ark
Il E.gh Court of Admiralty. But be threw
away all these advantages and took 10
agriculture. Fora long time the ground
was so wet he could raise nothing bat
sweet flag and bulrushes, aud these at
last became a drug in the market.
What wonder that when at last he did
get a half peck Of grapes that were not
stung to death by Jsphet's honey bees,
he should have made wine and drowned
his sorrows in flowing bowl"
The fact is, agriculture would demor,
alize a saint. Twas almost a Ssint when
! went into it, I'm demon now. I'm
at war with everything. fight myself
out Of bed at four O'clock when all my
1tater nature tells me to lie still till
seven. | fight myself into the garden
to work like brute, When reason and
instinct tell me to stay in the house and
enjoy myself like a man. / fight the
pigs, the chickens, the moles, the birds,
the bugs, the Sorms-everything in
which is the breath Of liEs. / fight the
docks, the burdocks, the mulieiss, the
the grass, the weeds, the roots
the whole vegetable kingdom. / fight
the heat, the frost. the rain, the hail-in
short, fight the universe, and get
whipped in every battle. | have no
more admiration 10 waste on the father
Of George Washington for forgiving the
destruction OF the cherry tree. A cherry
tree is oHly p curculio nursery, and the
grandfather Of kis country knew it. !
have dozen cherry trees and the day
ny young George Washington is six
years old III give him a hatcket and tel
him TO cat down every tree on the place.