New-York tribune., 1875-09-18

6uAare WnSt - ~ Rs>As "'no'' ~
mother takes In the socisbles' or dances or
tho place allotted to the old grandmother IN
tho house. compared to tho shrinkage OF value
in cottons, or Q fall In stocks Yet it is pre-
cisely these things, and the spirit that under
lies them. and not the income he can spend
on his family, which will make of his children
men, and not brutes and give to his life ana
theirs that finer quality which no money can
Il is of no Use to send the boy to Yale, and
to Europe for three or four years after he has
graduated, or to build palace on Murray
Hill ready for him and his bride when the
young prince shall choose to marry. He may
spend his thousands like . prince, and be
Me2zofant in tongues and know art thor
oughly, and be able to put his finger on
genuine antique among thousand limitations; ;
but you can never make of him hne gentle
man. Has he not known since he was boy
tie poor, scanty kept house in the back
street where his grandfather, the old saddler,
and bis wife live, and seen, when the poor
old man comes to his fathers house, how he
is huddlcd out of sight of the gay company
Did he ever once know him to be asked
to dine with the bankers and states
men who are his fathers guestsf Has
he not since he was a baby been suffered
to treat him with impertinence and neglect
simply because the old man was poorT How
can all the books or society of his later life teach
him the real value of the money jingllng III
his pocket, or give him the instinct OF venera-
ton TO age, or make him innately less vul-
gar snobi This boy, with his saddle-making an
cestor, is an extreme case perhaps. BIT we
all know innumerable cases in every class
where the parent has made sacrifices to urge
the child I'D to higher levels in culture or
society, and the child, having gained them,
is ashamed of the father and mother left be-
hind. The shame may be kindly concealed, or
cruelty shown, but in any case 1t is felt by the
old man and woman, and is bitter as death.
1t is not always snObDish vulgarity or false
pride, however, which brings on the separation
between parent and child nor is it always
lack of affection or respect from the young
people. There is the good old Parson Parr
and his wife-what have they not done for
their boy and girl They have made doctor
of young Harry and given Mary an education
which fits her to conduct the best school IN
the town. The money it cost put them 10
sore straits but if it had cost their lives, no
doubt they would NOT have complained. The
only thing they would not give was the effort
to make themselves companions to their chill
drcn; to gain, by reading. intercourse with
current events, or enforced sympathy
with their tastes, higher k;nship than
that OF blood. There MAS no reason
why they should not have kept pace
with the young people; old Mr. Parr Is
man OF kcencr Judgment and sOundcr sense
than the chltty young doctor; the mother has
certainly rs nimble and ready wit as her
daughter; there is no reason, we say, why
the old people should take the old husks of
thcolosic dogrnas or village gossip on which
to feed their irtcllect5 and leave to their chill
drrm the grain of living ideas and the knOwl-
edge growing into sight with each day or
course to keep up such companionslip requires
effort, and effort too at that season OF middle
age when a man usually finds the simple work
of making a living enough to exhaust his force
and vitality. A few years ago when the OLD
parson had finished his sermons and parochial
calls, and his wife the weeks cooking ana sew
ing, they were little in the humor to read
Carlyle with Harry, or to go out TO see hlm
scuil against Joe Pratt, or to plan picnics
OF g-parties for Mary. For the want of
iust such efforts they fell apart from the boy
and girl at first by Il hand dbrcadth, now by Is
gulf which no love can bridge over. Ii they
had once established that spirit OF comrade-
ship with their children, and tried to look at
the world through their young eyes, they
would find the children able now to make
allowance for their Quicter saddened vision.
Instead of being thrust into the back rooms of
the house ana out of the current OF Thought,
taste, and amusement, they would go OH hand
in hand with them, until the older grasp
should weaken, and the gray headed codrade
be laid to rest.
While all that we have urged against the
selishness and arrogance of the young folks
is strictly true, the other side of the story is
Just as true and unpalatable. Instinct and de-
pendence command the love of child for the
parent while it Is Il child but when the child
begins TO see with a mans eyes, the father
and mother must be ready to meet at every
point the critical Judgment of those eyes, or
the love will change to familiar pity. Mere
gratitude to the mother who nursed him and
the father who gave him life will not hinder
him from seeing that they are vulgar, truck
ling, or false. Nor is it wise to rely too
much. as most parents do, on that gratitude.
1t is not half so strong as the affection founded
on sympathy and respect, and 1t should not he.
The child did not ask to be brought into the
world, and when brought it was the duty of
the parent to nOurish lt-nO special favor.
If old folks and young folks in the homes
where THE TRIBUSE enters will give little
earnest thought 10 these matters, the coming
Winter will be a happier one, whether stocks
or incomes go up or down.
PERSONAL.
ID uaaxa af Piclulani Xa 1,rill