Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-09-11

THE soDA.roUHTAIH BOY.

J. . THE s0DA-T0UNTAM BOY, l,...,.
He was insing the glasses when the
old lady entered the store. !, It was hot
weather, and the soda fountain looked
so tempting that che conquered her
avariceI and walked over and told the
boy that she would take glass. fes g.
Do you wish for a fly in it?" he in
quired in a whisper. a ass,i.t,a,
"a fyl grashusl nol' she replied,
a look Of disgust on her face. t..s
Jest as you say, madam, he went
on. as he drew some lemon syrup.
People are so different in tastes, you
know. Some object to flies and some
don't. I'll mix some pineapple syrup
with this lemon, and now will you have
great deal of gas and little water, or
great deal of water and little gas p
I'm purity thirsty" she said. "A I Z.
We'll, then you want more water
than gas, and there won't be so much
danger of an explosion" "@''
Explosion p she queried.
a." That was the word, madam. We
have had but few such accidents here
this summer, and I truly hope that we
may have no more" ,s.-
"Does soda water blow up folksp"
"That depends on the state of their
health. Some people could stand here
and drink all day, while others might
get the glass tipped up this way, and
boom! they'd go ?" -
"Bust % sap itf@A '
Yes'm- fly into thousand pieces.
You never saw human being ex-
plode, did you?" sa s.-s.
mercy, mol"
"Well you don't have the least WARN
ing. They may be laughing or talking,
and all at once the store is filled with
false, hair, monogrom garters, bustles,
corsets, feet, teeth and rolled paste
jewelry. Itmakes great muss around
here, and if we hadn't three OF the the
smartest negroes in town to pick up and
sweep out, we'd have to shut up the
store for whole afternoon after an
explosion. ss a,,
He stood with the glass in his hand
agitating the syrup and waiting, and
she said: @}f 7@ go
"I didn't suppose it was dangerous
stuff" ~ - mas
"Well as told you it depends on
the state of the system. If your liver
is torpid and digestion impaired, one
glass of soda water would blow you
higher than Gilderoy's kite, and the
coroner would be lucky to find as much
of your spectacles to hold on inquest
on. If your system is all right, you
might drink hundred glasses and feel
no disastrous effects. Now, then, you'll
have q good deal of water and but
little gas, eh p 4@ '..''
She made deprecatory motion and
asked: .sidmH e
How's the stuff made Pc ae.4..:
"Well, I can't go on and explain all
the process. There's marble dust, acid,
gas, sugar-coated pills, giant powder,
cologne-water and kerosene all mixed
together and then distilled. The dis
titled liquid is placed in retort, where
chemical action separates it, and the
gas forces it up separate pipes. W.
Kerosene and pillsr' she gasped.
That's what said, madam. You
look innocent and honest, and I hope
you won't say anything about it. I
tend this fountain in order 10 support q
widowed mother and seven fatherless'
children. If you should say anything
I'd be discharged, and if / We're
discharged I should commit suicide.
You'll have plenty of water, ehg' .A
"No, sir, I WON'T" she replied.
"Do you suppose I'd drink acids and
kerosene?" es53 4 a#
"Not in their crude state, madam,
but the process
"I don't care for the. process!" she
snapped; " I wouldn't touch the stuff!''
''It is mild beverage, madam, and
the doc"
"Well, don't want any. When I
go to swallering tar and lard and kero-
sene you'll know it'll S'pose I'd drank
some and exploded !" = m
"Don't mention it r he whispered.
Don't speak Of it r
I'm sorry for you, young man, but
there's constable living right in sight
of our house, and I think-I-I-p
."Yon'll drive me to q suicides grave
you meant af 'fj PITT
She lowered her speatacles, took o
long look at him, and went ont with
out replying. u
LAZY MANS SouETy.-Some years
NF~,~t, <.r.rxn,