Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-08-17
PLAIN LANGUAGE.

FLAlN LANUU AGEs
The conviction has been forced
upon the writer hereof that plain
language Is the best and only proper
vehicle for the transmission of
thought to the people. Once or
twice has the temptation to indulge
in facetiae been too great to be with
stood, and every time has the writer
come to grief. Once mention was
made of No. 1 at a fire, and, as the
fire was directly opposite her house
she was Immediately in position, but
without men to work her. In our
report thereof, we facetiously re-
marked that although No. l was
first on the ground the Bibcock did
first execution, because No. had
not got steam up. We supposed
everybody would understand that
Its members were not on hand To
work the engine. Next day we were
taken by one of No. rs men careful
1y aside, and informed that No was
not a steamer, and did not have to
get up steam to squirt. In yester-
days issue, in order to convey the
idea that there was nothing doing
in Judge Knox's Court, it was said
that "Justice pinned back her skirts,
candled herself down in first-class
style and left" Judge of our sur
prise yesterday on being way-laid
by both Judge Knox and Constable
Baldwin, and forcibly convinced
that Justice will always be found
standing in that Courtroom, and
ready to penetrate any hidden
depths, however profound, for the
especial relief of injured innocence.
Plain language will do us hereafter.
-Ente,prtse.
We can deeply sympathize with
our much abused friend, and had
we adopted his present determine
ton to use " plain language" fifteen
years ago, no gaunt gray hairs would
now have been marking like mile
stones the rapid progress to an early
and unwept grave. At one time and
another during our career as local
reporter our fancy language has
brought us into much trouble. At
one time that we now distinctly re.
remember whenever we look in the
glass at the bridge of our bowspril,
we wrote that f" a certain black-muZ-
zled scoundrel had just arrived from
Walla Walla with a lot Of stolen
horses, and it was more than likely
the Sheriff would appear in the town
the next day." We could have said
that ga dark-complexioned man,
with horses to sell, had just arrived
from Washington Territory" but
we didn't. We thought, of course,
he would take it as good joke, and
come up to the sanctum and treat. He
did come to the sanctum, but he
didn't say anything about treating.
We thought he was going to when
he asked us if we wrote "that yere
piece" but when we smacked our
lips, rose up smilingly, and modest
ly said "yes sir" we knew We were
1t isn't much of hard
ship to lie in dark room with half
a beefs liver over ones eye, and
listen TO the senior editor telling his
friends how much court plaster it
took to cover the locals nose, and
he'd have to get the sanctum cleaned
up and the furniture mended, but it is
a little trying TO know that some peo-
pie won't stand complimenting.
We've had hair enough pulled off
our head to stuff a double mattraSs
for writing that "Mrs. So-and-So's
baby was probably an ediot, as it
was born without teeth and didn't
know it's own father" A big, lop-
cared Missourian kicked us clear out
of a pair of high-topped boots, once,
for mentioning his wife as "deni-
zen" of the valley. He didn't know
what "denizen" meant and he would
give us no time to show him the
Dictionary. We once wrote that q
certain man was "nothing but hot
blooded political Chief" We had
marked up that compositor's proof
sheet the day before, and in the
morning that sentence appeared in
the paper "was nothing but a pot
bellied political thief" The three
two.inch scars on the back of our
head stand out as a monument to the
memory ct the manner in which our
apology was accepted. For six
months after we hid ourself in q
mining shaft whenever that man
came into the county. Our next
neigbbor at the hotel table wore q
section of artificial jaw. In the next
issue we stated that set of old false
teeth was found in the pie at ---'s
HOTEL" and then dilated upon the
carelessness of the China cook who
chewed the mince-mear. The pro.
prietor of the hotel has quite q piece
of our scalp hanging on nail in the
dining-room, as a warning to report
ers. And SO we might enumerate
for columns. In the light OF past
events, and the determination of our
friend Loomis, no more fancy Ian
guage for us If we call a man a
liar now, he may take it for granted
that we are absent from the Office.