Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-12-16

~ pA1SO VI
the ardent lover, if such a being still
exists, cannot tell his tale. There are nc
circumstances, serious or gay, which can.
not be turned to good account by a skill.
ful wooer. True, many men are neither
ardent nor skIllful, and contrive almost tc
insult a woman while paying her the
highest compliment in their power. But
others know exactly when and where to
press their suit with success.
A young parson travelling in Palestine,
and asked to join a pleasant party,
amongst whose numbers he found a nota-
bic heiress of passionate piety, did we'll to
restrain the expression of the ardor of his
affection until he found himself living at
her feet on the slopes of the Mount of
Olives, looking toward Jerusalem. Scarce
ly any girl with a spark Of religion or
poetry in her composition could have said
NO to a white tie and a pair of handsome
brown eyes under such Well-chosen cir
cumstances.
The officer whose leave had nearly ex-
PRED without his having been able to
bring a pretty little coquette to the point
OF acknowledging that she cared for him
even a little wee bit was not unwise to
take her, ostensibly for the purpose of
sketching, to the top of the church tower.
to lock the staircase door, put the key in
his pocket, and VOW that if she did not
promise solemnly to marry him within q
month he would throw himself off the
parapet before her eyes, key and all. Of
course he gained his point, for he fright
ened her into tears, and then had things
all his OWn way.
More than one proposal has been made
by underscoring the lines in the marriage
service, "Wilt thou have this man to
be thy welded husband" and passing
the book and pencil during the sermon to
the adored one. 1t sometimes comes back
with a faint but still visible stroke under
q will" 1t is curious how at least the
semblance of religious feelings is apt to
get mixed up with love-making; not of
to the absurd point Of asking a
blessing before each kiss, and returning
thanks afterward, but a case of breach of
promise scarcely ever comes to be tried
that, when the letters of the defendant are
read, they are not found crammed with
prayers and texts. The piety was prob
ably as real as the love, and both were
genuine for the time being, and took wing
together. A sort of revivalist religion
seems somehow mysteriously allied to the
tender passion, although truth-telling,
which is supposed to be a Christian vir-
tue, is a rare accompaniment. A great
many recording angels could be kept fully
employed in booking the fabrications.
conscious or unconscious, with which a
large proportion Of proposals are embel-
lished. But we will not try to bring a
blush to the cheeks of those who remem
Der their misdeeds in this direction. It
Is often we'll even to act a little romance,
ii it gives pleasure and can be kept up.
Although circumstances will not pre-
vent a man who is earnest, and who has
every reason to expect a favorable reply,
from trying his luck, still circumstances
are the cause OF many a proposal. Upon
trivial event, scarcely noticed at the
time, has often turned the happiness or
misery OF many more people than the pair
Immediately concerned. An elderly man
who is ridiculously fond of children has,
for some reason, been prevented from mar
rying. He travels, by chance, with a
charming little boy and girl, and thinks
what he would not give to be able to carry
them home with him. He looks at the
mother of the children, whom he has
scarcely before noticed; she has a mystic
rious little white cap inside her bonnet,
which prOClaims that she is a widow, but
a very recent one. He brightens up;
is like a fairy tale; they find they have
F." mutual friends J" he proposes as soon
as he decently can, but is wise enough to
say nothing about the children, except
that he hopes to make a good parent. He
vows, like everyone else, that this is the
first time he was ever really in love, and
that he fell a victim the moment he looked
at her.
A gentleman once contided to an old
friend, who asked him to tell 4" all about
his marriage" that the wife of his bosom
had attained that enviable position sim
ply by choosing at a supper-table blanc
mango instead of whipped cream. He
had paid the girl such marked attention
Oh several occasions that he felt she was
warranted in expecting him to ask her to
marry him. He had no desire to have her
for a wife, but he resolved, while dancing
with her at a ball, that she should become
the unconscious arbiter of her own fate
in fact that he would toss with her in
dishes instead of halfcrowns. If she had
said whipped cream, he would have with
drawn from her acquaintance with a peace
full conscience, and never have thought of
her again, except to congratulate himself
ON his escape.
If an old bachelor has been staying at a
countryhouse where there is a very pretty
g%overness to whom he has been courteous
and kind-if, having said good-by to her
in her lonely school-room, he should dis
cover when he got downstairs that he had
left his gloves on her table, and, hurrying
back for them, find her in a confused mass
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