The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1875-04-07
NEWS AND OTHER ITEMS

tail.
Lament of the sidewalk: ever,
body is down on me.
The most melancholy spectacle
the world is cold pancake.
Adam was proudly conscious tina
he never made mistake in his boy
hood.
A Williamsburgh woman has a
artificial jaw. Did she wear tile othe
one, cut?
These stormy Supday evenings ar
weakening the coal bins of familie
With interesting daughters.
Mrs. Holmes, of Katie King in
fanny, according to her own state
ment. is ''cick of the hoal business
Kalakaua is doubtless home er,
this. and getting mixed up under thu
cross questioning of Mrs. Kalakaua
The want of the age is some othel
method of freezing novelist's hero
than with horror.-Danbury Meas.
What is the difference between :
tube and foolish Dutchman? One
is hollow cylinder and the other is
o silly Hollander.
Z man may forget his business
his family, and all Of the sacred OBJ
legations Of life, but he always re-
members where he got that counter
felt bill
A negro woman in Pitt county,
y. e., recently gave birth to tripIets
the. first was white, the second mu.
latto, and the. third black. TAis all
comes from Civil Rights
Huidah 3. Loud is a prominent
Massachusetts suffragist, and when
she don't shrek we suppose she
talks like thunder.
When a Comstocker wants to dis
Parage another he says .'When YOU
thoroughly prospect him, you'll find
no bonanza in him."
Brother Hammond is Familiarity
addressed by the California miners
as cold Pard," and is in sore dis
tress to learn what they mean by it.
A Kentucky paper speaks Of a
man who had narrow escape from
a sun stroke, lie having stood only
tWo rect from a man who was struck
1t is said that two Wabash avenue
lovers will sit up half the night with
only one chair in the room, but that
IS easily explained to anyone who
has been there.
All the axes and buck-saws found
In the ruins of Pompeii are of light
make, as if constructed for woman' 3
use. Those old ancients knew their
little business.
Sunday-school teacher to pupil
Now, my little man, can YOU ex-
plain to us the cause of Adams fall p
Little man(emphatically)-"Yes, sir
cause he hadn't any ashes to
throw on the sidewalk -Broozza7e
ArguS-
"Prance ont some more pan
cakes Y warned William McDuff, as
he sat at table in Kansas City and
rs the waiter wouldn't prance 'em
Mr.. McDuff split his ear with a
bowie-knife.
A Snnday-school boy complains
of the dilatoriness of the officers Of
the school in procuring Minister
Schenck's new work on ''Draw Po-
kerr for the library.-NorriStooon
Herald.
We should dearly like to see the
chap that predicted that this was
going to be a mild winter, sitting on
the fence in a linen buster, and list
ening to the hooking Dird.-Berb-
shire Courier.
A woman at Tifin, Ohio. fell and
broke her arm, but she refused two
offers OF assistance because the men
were strangers TO her and there was
no one around to introduce them.-
Exchange.
90. Gray-Pack with my box five
dozen quilts There is nothing re-
markable about this sentence, only
that it Is nearly as short as one can
be constructed, and yet contains the
whole alphabet
Vermont clergymen are never per-
mitted to kiss the ladies they have
Just made brides. The dear creatures
put up their hands with the remark; |
There, thatll do, Eve seen you rel
lows afore."
A Florida railroad made nineteen
cents clear last year. Now what |
kind of an institution is that? Why |
it get into debt, like State |
canal or a State prison, and be some
thing or somebody?
"Anything to beat Satan" was
the legend suggested to a Danbury
politician when asked to name some
thing appropriate as an inscription
on a banner for q Young Mems
Christian Association.
Petersham has produced an au-
ctfoneer who tells the truth. He re-
Gently told a bidder: "You've got a
good bargain on that sleigh you bid
off for $3.50. 1t is Just as good for
she hens to roost on as one that
costs 500"
The Scientific american has found
In old lady who has not washed for
fifty years. She is so dirty that
Heath and the devil keep at q re-
,pectful distance. Henry Clay Dean +
Henry Clay Dean /! We have found
rOur affinity. Louis Republican.
A Dubuque boy was rather troub-
ed for fear that he would not know
his father when they both reached