Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-02-10
All Sorts.

a GALVESTON young lady has sued. a
man Tor attempting to kiss her against
her Will, instead of against her cheek.
A SCHOOL in Vermont is presided over
by. eross-eyed teacher. { A few days
ago ne called out: ''Ihat boy, that I
am looking at will step out on the
floor" Immediately twenty-seyen lads
walked out in front of the aatonisbod
pedagogue. - =.
WHY IS the Tribune building the
highest structure in the world i? Because
it is higher than the ''Sun." y u 49, !
"WHERE woman saws Mrs. Part
ington, sshas been married with a CON
geal1ng heart, and one that beats des-
ponding to her own, she will never want
to enter the maritime state again" =.
RIsToRI has just narrowly ESCAPED
death by Mexican railroad accident
Won't this be apt to increase her fond
ness for the stage? q g 6t.1 -.. .a
"THE Hibernian race is naturally
high-tempercd one," says an exchange.
And that's why they're called Ire-ish,
we suppose. E2E5I oErErl "a
WHEN poor man steals loaf of
bread for his family, its plain theft; but
when rich man cribs anything, its
simply yclept-a-mania. ... - til T.
A RATHER thick-headed witness In the
police court was asked the question
whether soand-so stood on the defen-
slye. "No, sir" he innocently replied,
che stood on a bench" 3D..
A WESTERN poet, who had expressed
wish to die "amid the grand solitude
OF the eternal mountain tops" was kill
ed by the explosion of a pint of cheap
kerosene. -
MIR. WYLIE, when in New York,
"played 4, 1000 games of checkers since
landing in this country" This fact
alone would make simple and touch
ing inscription for his tombstone.-NO
Republican. ~, s,...........
WALTER Gentlemen, will you be
kind enough to make less noise? There
his gent in next box says e can't
read One of the gentlemen-ss Can't
read, eh (! He ought to be ashamed of
himself Tell him to go to the school
board pr i 7s .a' ".'
HE boss thief of Europe was the
ex-Prince Demetrius Tschwtschawadze
He was the foe of all proof-readers, and
the dread of all interviewers; but no.
body ever called him any harder name
than himself. Chicago Tribune.
For violent assault on his wife, by
which one Of her eyes was severely in
jured, a laborer named Hobbs was SEN
fenced at the Middlesex Sessions, Lon
don, on the 29th ult., to five years
penal servitude. aii a So
"a SOFT answer turneth away wrath,
but we lose our patience with people
who are continually asking soft ques-
tons.
AN armless painter may be seen daily,
busily engaged in copying some Of the
old masters, in the South Kensington
Museum, in London. He is a Mr.. M.
@. Feler, of Antwerp, and the facility
with which he manages his brush with
his right foot, while holding his palette
with the left, is said to be marvellous.
PRUDENT Mother" Don't look at
Professor Won Bangs so, Dora, dear, or
people will think you are in love with
him" Dora (who is inconsolable for
the loss Of her darling POODLE" [
can't help it, ma; he is the exact image
of poor Mopsy! p
SEAsoNABLE RECToR-''Ah, we shall
be comfortable this morning, Grizzlies;
I see you've got the temperature up
nicely. Sixty, [ declared" Clerk
eyes, sir; [ allus have a trouble to get
that thing up. [ took and warmed it
jest this minute ?"-Pmach.
| "YouR handwriting is very bad, in
| deed - said a gentleman to friend
more addicted to boating than to study;
'tyou really ought to learn to write bet ,
| ter" cay, ay," replied the young
man, sit is all very well for you to tell
me that, but if [ were to write better
people would find out how I spell"
AN Austin (Texas) paper advertises
to be ratified for &c an Indian outfit, con-
sisting of bow and culver, and an In
dian scalp. There is also one white
feather on a string, showing that a
white man had been killed by the In
dian to whom it belonged
AN old bachelor says: "When I re-
member all the girls I met together, I
feel like rooster in the fall, exposed to
every weather I feel like one who
treads alone some barnyard all deserted,
whose oats are fed, whose hens are dead,
or all to market started" f
"HAvE you the new fascinated gold
sets, asked lady of one of our lead
ing jewellers the other day. "No,
mas am, F." was the reply, "we have Ro-
man sets, engraved sets, cameo sets.
coral sets, and .taeeted sets. Perhaps o.
the latter is what you wish to see.' And
it was.
The London Times points out that an
enterprise purporting to be of English
origin, called the Society General for
Insuring against Losses on the Turf, is
being extensively advertised on the
Continent. Use is made. of the Bank
of England's name without authorize
ton, and several persons of distinction
are set forth as directors.
The Paris mint has commenced coin
ing asum of 40, 900, 900 francs in twenty
franc pieces for the Bank of France.
The new coin will be employed to facil-
itate the withdrawal from circulation of
IL