Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1875-04-18
A Schoolmaster Around Loose.

1
Four or five days ago man about forty
years of age, looking as if he had been
drawn over a dusty floor for an hour or
two, called upon one of the members of
the Board of Education and introduced
himself as William Cannon Harrison, of
Saginaw county. He was politely re-
ceived, and he commenced business by
saying:
"I'm a-looking for situation as a
school teacher"
"Ah, hap replied the member, won
dering why the man wasn't looking for a
wood-pile.
II could have brought pile of rec
ommends so high" continued the man,
measuring with his hands, "but recon-
mends don't amount to nothing"
"And have you any school in view2"
asked the member.
81 want to get in here, in Detroit" re-
piled the man. "What wages do you
pays"
'I'm afraid--" began the member,
when the schoolmaster interrupted
"Oh! we'll, l s'pose you pay going
wages, and that's all l can ask for. l don t
want to put on style and live high, as I'm
getting leetle old and ought to save
money"
Gas was going to rcmark-,p said
the member, when the schoolmaster sud-
denly inquired:
"Do they allow licking in the schools
here? If they do, I'm the man you want
to dress the boys down! I've had 'em
oo,,,o Cor mn ~, tbo do,o, AVID - ,,ouI Il
do your heart good to see the way l laid
'em! Why, when l had that school in
Bay county l thought nothing Of licking
thirty scholars a day, besides hearing
twelve classes recite! I'm an old scream
er, tell you, and there's fun in me when
you get me woke up"
II hardly think" commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up and said:
'Of course you won't take me unless
pass examination, but l hain't afraid of
not passing. I'd like to see word
couldn't spell. For instance: 'Catarrh /:
C-a-t-a-r-r-h' - catarrh.' 'Dandelion: :
'D-a-n-d-e-l-i- ion, dandelion,' or try me
on words of four syllables. Lugubrious :
L-u-g-u-b-r-i-o-u-s, lugubrious.' Oh! l
can knock the socks right offn these
swell head teachers and not half tryH"
II should like to help you," but
ooh! you needn't think I'm behind in
geography" interrupted the teacher "For
instance: What is an isthmus9 An 18TH
mus is narrow strip of land connecting
two larger bodies. Is the world round or
flat9 Round. Why is it round9 Because
it is. Which is the largest river in the
world2 The Amazon. Which is the
highest mountain The Andes. might
60 on for seventy -ive days this way, and
then not tell you half I know!"
"You seem to be pretty we'll posted in
geography, but as l wanted to tell l."
"And on grammar tool" exclaimed the
teacher, jumping up again. "What is a
noun? A noun is the name of any per-
son, place or thing. Give us an example
Man, dog, cat, coon, goat, .jackknite,
fish-hook, gate-post. What are the prin-
cipal conjunctions9 And, as, both, be-
cause, for, if, that, or, nor, neither, either,
and so forth. Oh! I'm right on the root
of the Westinghouse when you sling
grammar at mel"
The member was getting desperate, and
as SOOu rs uC Coulu SOt III :" "oAN iiO saw
II will take your name, and as soon as
vacancy
"And | know arithmetic from cover to
cover" exclaimed the man, standing up
again. II can go through the tables like
! lightning through a haystack, and when
you get to fractions and cube-root I'm
awful weigh ton and half and still
growing! 'Rithmetic's my favorite study,
and I'll give you fifty dollars to find a
man who'll saw sums in two and plane
'em down as quickly as I CAM"
His speech took the wind out of him,
and the member managed to say there
was no vacancy at present, but he would
take his name and consider his case as
soon as one occurred:
| "I'd like to commence right OFF, re-
piled the man, "but I'm willing to wait
Here's my name. and the mint I get
your letter I'll come down a-fying. II
you get me you don't get much style, but
YOU get solid old common sense and gen.
uine education. You won't see scholars
playing hide-and-coop around the wood
box or marbles ON the floor-no you
WON'T"
And he went down stairs.