Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-10-08
MINOR NOTES,
A man in New York qusrrelled with

- man AZ ANcN iOIA iudIItIlSu WIN III
wife on Sunday evening, and then huns
himself to the bedpost with his wife's apron
This little matrimonial infelicity shoul(
teach wives to always have spare apror
or TIVE about the house. and plenty Of bed
posts.
Tney killed book agent at Creston tive
week ago, but they had TO run over bin
with nine freight cars to DO it People who
can't afford to keep ast freigh, train II
the house are still at T. book agents mcy.
ey.-Burlrngton HatcAeye.
Mocking- birds are yalual lie pets in L fam
ilV OF girls. Ii has been discovered that
they can initiate TO perfection the sound o!
every species OF kiss. from the inspiration.
al and devotional to the paroxysmal
| When pateriamilias hereafter hears any
suspicious ''swec- peeps" from the psrlor,
Angelina will explain that at is only the
lnocking bird Ii is said tina; bird well
trained in this accomplishment will bring
$500 in Brooklyn.
The Taunton (Mas. GGseiie tells Of a
young man who recently conceived the
brilliant idea by popping the question by
| postal card. Accordingly he despatched
one TO the idol OF his heart, bearing simply
his name and l character, ~" HIS feel
| lngs can be imagined on receiving by re-
turn mail q card inscribed most enegetical-
ly. ~" When last seen he had checked his
collar box for Chicago. and was inquiring
the price OF through tickets to the West.
An English newspaper has this advertise
Iuent from Clergyman :" Violet velvet
| sermon case, large size. with gold embroid-
cred monogram on the cover. lined with
watered silk, very handsome, never been
used, cost 3 l-2 guineas infants new
short undeIciothing desired in exchange"
'Ah, yes the West is not entirely use
less in the vast economy OF nature" re-
marked Bostouian at furnishes the
pork to flavor our beans with, You know"
Then he resumed the study OF his "Prin-
eipia. .''-&. Louis Republican,
Professor (kindly) What is the matter,
Mr.. Gray? You look unwell" Sophomore
with volume of Christian Martyrs" in
his handy My breakfast was burned at
the steak that's whats the martyr with
me"
Eiopement rams ia the WiLi,e family OF
Texas County, No. Ssllie White ran
away some years ago with her brother-in-
law. Aaron Davis ; he, however. returned
to his wife. ana she married u Mr.. Neely,
who eloped and ,et her. Two years ago
her cousin. Ezekiel, ran away with a Mrs
Nin!and, both parties leaving families
Last month Aaron Davis's son, Marion, a
boy OF nineteen. ran away with his moth
er's sister, Il woman OF thirty. and to con-
plete matters his father has again eloped
with bis sis;e.-in-law, S2llie.
\ Rhode Island poultry breeder, alter
cOngratu!ating himself on having cheated
Newport grocer out of s. by means Of
short count IN eggs, Is indlguan. on Dis
covering that the grocer has taken adyant-
age OF his unsophisticati0n - palm II upon
HIM I bad $40 bill
|; IS too frequently the case for papers OF
a low order vi intelligence to riiicu.e the
college eradicate as helpless and useless
indiyidra!. Mr.. Avery. of Yale. however,
graduated only month ago. and already
he has securoi a pFO-iti0n OF trust at a slla-
~ @! IS eco Il year Il Is = pitcher of a
professional base bail club.
An oTe7-warm complemcnt-''D Dear. kini
Lady Franklin nas at last gone to join he.
husband in regions that are NOT arctic. -
Kate Field ~ LJMSrste Cour.cr-JJETEaL
The Jiadicai0r, ,ofS:aunton, Va. has this ac-
count Of a sudden and remarkable conversion.
''On Monday night. Jailer George Harlin
heard a i.eA4 ,- ...- sAck3; in one OF the cells.
and finding 1t came irom that occupied by
john ". Moore. notorious co.ore1 chick
en- thief, opened the grating, and found
John shou,ing Glory, bless Dc Lord. |
bin steain them chickens. yes | il. | bin
IS the pcniteatiary. yes | has. And fool
ed EN- dAr. gin 'em dc wrong name, yes
did, but 'ss forgiven now Mars GeoTge,
wake old Missis up. Gimme y0' han.
Jess gimme 20 h,n.' And during all this
time the peniteHt thief was taking such
-. apf ,.asa ~ .lf
conto-tians, that he could only calculate
between hr5gthS Like most distinguish
ci sinner he had been sitting on the rag
ged edge OF rtmorSe. and II had broken
through with him. Ii wa some ;ime be
t0re the jal.sr could quiet this remofseful
thief gh 10 allow the less penetont SD
ners in the next cell to sleep.
\ New Orleans llwyer, who had been
libeilously spoken Of by = mulatto woman,
magnsnimously waived his professional ad-
vantage, and meeting his opponent on the
simple ground OF his manhood. atmini-ter-
ed 10 her horse-whipplng.
Two hundred residents Of OGou County,
Ky. made haste 70 the wedding of tie0rgs
o. Nan and Lizzie Osburn. The bridal col
lation included big cheese, Thirty pounds
of crackers. and thirty gallons Of whiskey.
The festivities concluded with a nuptial
fight in which TWO men were killed. No
cards
A joeular gentleman IN Tennessee re
counts for the benefit OF trusting arch8)log
ists. how the plough recently exhumeI IN
one Of his fields a pre- historic relic, con-
sisting of small gray Image representing
p turbauel figure with a vertical aperture
the sizo Of ones finger in its head aud
small p5rioration at a right ang le II this
People have seen d very similar clay idol in
the museum Of a t1bscconist in this neigh
b0rhoOd
Men are cratic William Homer, Of
Memphis. permitted his wife to give par
ty. and. when the guests had arrived. he
brought out the garien-ho-e and sprinkled
them out.
When Vermont man found that tie
medical students had stolen the body Of his
newly buried wife, he remarked that II was
a sad case. but that be had saved tho cost
of tom 5stOme.