Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1875-05-22
OUR SPICE BOX.


Music by llandeI--a street organ.
Heavy Ii,sincss-impor,iIIg elephants.
Between two evIls-rhoosing neither.
Rhode Island CLAIMS to have the boss speller I
Logic stands to reason, and il must have /
b'gs.
Vested mterest--money in the waistcoat
pocket
I.o,ia the actress, regards $3.50 per night
a scrub pay.
When hog roots m snow bank its nose
knows SHOWS.
When man is drawn on a jury he should
he quar;ered IN the court house.
The gold found in the Black Hills is said
Ia be of very SlouNperior quality.
An Englishman prol oses to run street cars
Ivy clock-w ork. Only two hands will be re-
CURED.
There is no philosophy that can convince
man to the contrary when he knows he is
hungry.
The fellow who asked for n lock of his
girls hair. was informed that il costs money,
hair does.
The saying Excuse haste and bad pen
has been attributed To pig who ran away
from home.
A German admircr says Colonel Forney
earns monev like an American and keeps il
like Durchinan.
A Frenchman intending to compliment
young lady. 10y calling her gentle lamb, told
her she was a little sheep.
Ohio towns are ranked in importance accor-
ding to the number Of candidates they have
for Governor.-N. o. Republican.
An exchange defines bIunderbuss as kiss
ing the wrong girl just rs though 1t were
possible 10 be wrong in kissing any girl.
"What plan shall | adopt to fill the house
al my bcnefts' srd che actor - another.
Invite your creditors" was the surly reply.
Caudle says that his wife, at least, whatever
may be the experience Of census-takcrs with
oilers of her sex, is always ready to tell her
rage.
Meat me AT the spelling match at Muesic
hail." was the invitation written probably by
one who stepped down aud out on TIL iirst
round.
An instructor asked French girl why beer
in French was feminine. She replied II was
probably owing to the tact that the boys liked
1t so well.
The boy who ran away from school to 90
fishing all atone, aud caught himself in the
lip, says he, got enough Of fishing on his
own hook.
"Jenma," said fashionable miss to her
friend, 81 think Charley Potts is perfectly
splendid he can get on piy gloves, and
wears spit curls.
Its in vain to hope Ia please all alike. Let
aman stand with his face in what direction lac
will, he mus, necessarily turn his back on
one-haIf the world.
An exchange says: Well ride two mile:
10 see two brothers under twelve years oil
age 20 To bed together without having dis
pute about something.
A Springfield man recently took bath II
the dark. He managed we'll enough, oriy
he got bold of piece OF stove-backinS III
stead of soap, with marked results.
a boy. who will yell like a Tartar if droT
Of water gets Oh his Shirt band " hen his necI
rs being washed. cat crawl through sewe
after ball aud think nothing OF 1t.
Nov don, be rough" remarked person
who had been arrested for thievery, the othe
night. "Pray don't say arm thief lie 20
lite and call me a canal contractor
TIE journalists will have some work saved
for them IN writing an account OF the lUi @
June celebration. There is a column aIrea''.
set up On Brakc. llilI.-Eoston Com, Br''tii"
A small b " in New Haven made sensa
ton 70, a short time by quietly transferring
card bearing the word, take one. fo,n
lot OF handbIlls ia front OF store 10 IL baske
Of oranges.
An assessor a,ted Il woman how i1an
chickens she had, and, ,'uub,ing her word
proceeded to count them. She took him I
the bee hive, kicked it over, and invited hu
10 count the bees.
An old riverman said Mark Twain had u
genius for piloing, but If lie could have bee
supplied with STEAMBOATS, when learning Ill
business, he would have cleared the rlver c
sings; he never missed one.
Tue new building Of the New ior
Tribune is nine stories high. When ma
coa;cs in and wants to know who wrote thu
article, he is told that the author is on the TO
floor, with the elevator broken.
A Connecticut girl patiently li-tc.c'l o
long ,.ecla,ii,u III hove. pa het'c an' pfci',s'i
fronl yonl, msr, and thea k,ocIec -
poetry all out oil him ny SayiiS, Now let Il
tslk about your business aii.,iis.
When the wild j. adverse, aud 1t blows
brisk gale,
And the ship has TO tack and 10 shin every sal
What, then, is she like, in nautical phrase!
Why, a lady oG fashion; she $ always M stays.
When three ,ian,'red men will torn out "
ride after "a poor, s,ckiy fox, md hur'sh an
yell and jump fences and break srsperder bn
tons, Dio Lewis needn't be blowing aionn
that Americans are melancholy race-fr
Press.
aAnd now, Mrs Sullivan" said the cour
sci, Twill you lie kind enough to tell the Juf
whether your husband was in the habit
striking you with impunity vivid what
sirs" "Wiih impuniiy." He was, sir, nov
and thin, but hc oitener struck me wid III
tshs"