Knoxville journal. [volume] (Knoxville, Iowa) 1874-1986, 1875-08-12
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


They now make fans with pocket in
the handle to hold euchre deck. There
is, indeed, no limit to genius.
Half ton of raspberries are packed
and shipped daily during their season by
a small fruitpacker of Bangor, Me.
"A man is 1850 times as large as a
common honey-bee, and yet it is useless
to try and argue the matter with the bee
-" Furnish your own kerosene" says
a sign hung to the door of a Leayenworth
man who had four manageable daugh-
tiers.
The New York Times advises every
citizen who gets robbed to march the rob
Der to the police station. That's sensible
advice
1t is the Milwaukee Ners which dis
covers that the malleable glass will be
more like truth than ever, because it will
be elastic.
They wondered at the hortcollections
in Missouri church, and investigated to
find that one of the collectors had tar In
the top of his hat
1t may be that an Italian invented
the wheelbarrow, but this is the country
where the social standing Of the vehicle
was first lifted up.
California people are careful people.
A murderer was cleared the other day be-
cause the charge read that he shot man
instead of stabbing him.
-Lynchburg (Va.) women allow no
tyrannical masculine assumptions of SUI
periority. Eleven of them have been ar
rested for illicit distilling.
A South Carolina woman took a pair
of number seven shoes because she could
get them for the same price as number
threes, but you hardly ever find woman
as sensible as that.
1t is now fashionable in New York
to have negro carry the family infant
around in place of the nurse or goyerness.
If some aristocratic fool should 60 TO
church barefooted there'd be lots Of other
fools TO follow his example.-Detroit Free
Press.
Statistics show that the average hon.
gevity of lawyers is greater than that OF
any other profession or class. They have
more sins to repent OF than any other peo-
pie, consequently require more time, and
it is kind and thoughtful in Providence to
indulge them.
The boy that was too feeble month
ago to drag himself 10 school and home
again goes around now letting other boys
"feel of his muscle" has the appetite OF
shark and plays first base in ball game
five hours day without in the least i'm
pairing his energy. Curious, isn't itg
in Scotland they have narrow, open
bitches, which they call sheep drains. A
man was riding donkey across sheep
hat tha oil m, a
sheep drain he would not go over ii. So
the man rode him back short distance,
turned him round, and applied the whip,
thinking of course that the donkey when
going al the top of his speed would jump
the drain before he knew ii. But not so.
When the donkey got to the drain he
stopped all of sudden, and the man went
over my Neddy's head. No sooner had
and, looking the beast straight in the face,
he said: Vera weel pitched; but then
hoo are we gaup tae get over yersel'?'
The other Sunday Detroit minister
preached sermon on the sin of white lies
and evasions, and he flattered himself that
his congregation took every word to
heart. Next day he made call on one OF
his parishioners, and as he mounted the
front steps he heard one of the boys call
out: Ma! maj the preachers coming
herep "Great lands" he heard her
shout, " and my hairs down and I've got
this old dress on! Run to the door, Bill,
and tell him l went to Crosse Isle on a
church excursionr' "Oh, no, hate TO"
replied the boy. "Go-go quick-hurry
up, or I'll tan you till you can't raise a
footr' she urged, and the lad went TO the
door and discouraged the preacher from
making the call.-Detroit Free Press.
Not long ago gentleman living near
New York had barn-raising on his place,
in which number of his neighbors as
sisted. In accordance with old custom he
brewed for them with his own hands sew
eral gallons of punch, upon which, being
an expert, he expended much labor and
thought. Whes the ingredients had been
combined TO suit his taste he carried the
punch in bucket TO the scene of opera
tons, and invited the men to partake OF it.
They excused themselves for few mo-
ments, wishing TO complete their work,
whereupon he placed the bucket upon a
bench and retired When about half an
hour afterward the men prepared TO do
justice to the punch, they discovered to
their CONSERVATION that the bucket was
empty. The thief proved TO be an Alder
ney heifer, who was found in a very dis.
graceful state Of intoxication. She had
scented the fragrant connection and drained
il to the last drop. The animal recovered
the next day, but those for whom the punch
was intended were obliged TO quench their
thirst with something else.
Nathan EiudQ II ar nav Altar