The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1875-01-09
2Hiscellaneons.
Mrs. BrOaUn OH PedlJerS.
BY ROSE STANDIsH

! BY ROSE STANDIsH.
From the PhiladsMins Saturday Night -,-
| "I'll tell YOU what, sister PEABODY, if vim
ming ever gifts the upper hand in COVER men
consarns--and sich thing hain't on possible
YOU know-and should be sent to the Legis.
later, the very fust thing I'd do would be to gil
| a law made that would drive the race of ped
| dlers from the face of the airth.
| "Peddlers, accordin' TO my idee, is one of the
greatest pests of commoonlty. Why, muske
ters and bed-bugs hain't to be named the same
day with em! When think of what I've bore
| from 'em, fust and last, feel to be thankful
that am yit in the full and parick enjoyment
of my reason. It's the greatest massy that my
hair hain't suddenly turned white, like that
woman's I've hurd tell on in histry-Maria
| Anothony, or Susan. or somethin'.
| "I've got so now that can tell one Of these
| air strollin' vagabones jest about as soon as
clap my eyes onto 'em, and I'd go as fur out of
my way to git rid on 'em as | would anybody
with the small -pox, seven years itch, or any
| thing else of a courageous mater.
| "Now, there's mere kinds of peddlers than
YOU can shake stick at The fust in the dec
alogue comes tin -peddlers, the most useful and
decent Of the hull posse on 'em. They gnerly
| does their arrants with neatness and despatch
| so to speak, and then goes off bout their busi
ness. Then there's them Eyetalian image-ped
| dlers. Them two plaster cats into the four room
| | bought of one of the creters. traded off two
| old pepper and-salt weskits and pair of boots
that used to belong to MIR. Brown--poor man
| for 'em.
| "Sewin' '-machine peddlers air as thick as
huckle-berres in August, and they'll lie the
legs right off an iron kittle, drot their picters
But think book-pedders and dry~goods ped
dlers goes leetle ahead of everything They
have more hang -onativeness, and it's next to
onpossible to git em off without buyin' some
| thin.
Zone of these air dry goods peddIers sarved
me fine caper couple Of year ago! He had
broadcloth to sell and bein' as he offered em
dog cheap, | thought I'd git me enough for a
winter cloak. My old Rob Roy plaid, that
had when | was married to Mr.. Brown-dear
creter, he's gone where there is neither courtin'
nor marryin', as the Scripters says was rath-
| er the wuss for wear, so took it, without the
| leastest hesitation. Priscilly Ann Proctor
| down to the corner, she cut my cloak for me,
in the very latest style, and it sot like a ducks
| foot IN the mud. 1t had an Elegant fuster on
| to it, too; you could almost see your face into
| it.
"Wall, the very fust time l had that air gar
| mint onto my back was at Saturday AFTERNOON
| confrunce meetin' Miss Deacon Scudder, and
some of the other sisterins, they all focked
round me arter meetin', wanted to know how
much give for it, and where bought it. As
l wasn't disposed to tell 'enl, Miss Scudder, she
| fared up about it, and says she:
| "'Miss Brown says she. keep it to yourself,
| if you want to. don't want to intrude onto
nobody's piracy says she.
Gas was a-goin' down the meetin house
steps, with the brethern' and sisterin' just on
ahead man comes runnin' up to me, and says
| he:
"'Mss Brown, arrest you,' says he
| "Says l, thinkip' he must be crazy or foolin':
"H should be tickled to death to know what
furp
az guess you don't know who be? says he
| "'No more don't, says |, 'and don't want
to, nutherp
"'None of your sass = says he.
"And the fust thing | knowed he slipped
| some hand cuffs onto my wrists aiore | could
have said Jack Robertson.
at warren't into human-nater to stand sich
treatment without shown' proper resentment
| 80 / begun to scream and holler.
"This fetched Elder Skaggs to the reskoo.
"'Let go Miss Brown says he, in a COM
manndin' voice. She's a respectable woman,
says he, 'and a member of this air meetin'
house, in good and reglar standin'! and he
tried to pull me away.
"This maddened the feller so tn at he up and
gave the elder side winder that knocked out
a couple of his teeth, and sot his nose to leak
in putty free. Seem the elder was gittin' the
WuetOl III, all Ine OTeIueTln anu SlSterln plCcH
| ed in, and gnrl setto follered.
"In the very thickest of it, cousin lothian
happened along. Says he to the strange man
says he:
"The meanin' is,' says he, that Pm an ossi
fer of the law, from Jonesville, sent here to ar
rest this air woman fur bein' an accomplish oi
that gang of thieves that broke into dry goods
| store over there, spell age. We tracked em
| hara , ba Con 7
man darst deny but what that cloak of hern is
some of them stolen goods. The receivers just
| as bad as the thief in the eyes OF the law, and
should have had the old gal in the county
Jail fore this time if these folks hadn't hinder
ed me-, says he.
"Miss Deacon Scudder, she shifted up her
nose, and whispered to Phileny Hornblower
that she neuer had no great opinion of me, and
| that folks commonly got fetched out in their
| deviltry. No wonder l made sich great piracy
| bout that cloak, she said.
| "For a minute was struck dumb with amaze.
| ment Then, all at onct, light bust onto my
befogged understandin', and says |, all of a
| fuster:
"I haint the accomplish of nobody, nor no.
thin, says 1, though ri say that this air broad
cloth I bought of peddler, naterly s'posin
| that everything was square and above board,
| says l, and of course didn't think the goods
was come by dishonesty, or that was doin
anythin out of kerrickter.'
| DWELL, the ossifer he cooled rig ht down asked
my parding, and said if I'd pay damages, he'd
let me off so hauled out my puss, and set
tied without any more words.
carter this letle onpleasantness, it seemed tc
me that | was besot with peddlers wuss than
afore.
"I vummy,' says 1 to lothian, Il hain't go
in to stand it no longer! l can't, and it hahn
no use! says |.
"'What air you goin' to do bout it p says he
| in that ta'ntin' way of his.
"'I'll git me gum says l, 'and somebody
git hurt
"'No you won't, nuther,' says he; you'll de-
Jest as you alters have done-paternize 'em
and let 'em cheat your eyete teeth out of you,
says he.
"The very next mornin', airly, they com
menced to come; some had soap, some had pic
ters, some had books; some one thing, and
some another. The soap man, he kept talkin
at the door nigh half an hour afore l could gil
away from him and when l went back to the
butt'ry, there was my bread, that I'd sot to rise
the night afore, runnin' all over the floor
Nothin' makes me more techy than to have my
bread spilled. Jest crossed my fingers, anC
made solemn vow that I'd fix the next ped
dler that come, so he would'n poster me, no
nobody else, for one while.
I guess 'twan't more'n an hour arter this
when heard an awful loud rap onto the from
door. | peeked out of the shelter, and there
was man standin there, with great package
of somethin' under his arm. Another one O
them pesky varmints, thinks to myself; and
without waitin' for him to rap again, grabb
ed bucketful of blin' hot suds, whisked VI
stairs into the room right over the front door
keerfully hsted the winder, and then let hin
have it, bucket and all.
"sich jumpin', and caperin', and dancin
l guess you never see He didn't wait to b.
interduced to no more bilin' water, tell you
but started down the road on the clean run.
never was so tckled in allmy born days llaff
ed till thought should have busted, and KEEP
on affin' all the AFTERNOON long,
"When cousin Jotham came into supper tina
night, says he:
"sElmiry, you've put your foot in it, thi
time, sure enough; and the next time yo'
heave blin' water onto folks, you'd better fint
out who they are,' says he. That man tina
YOU scalded, turns out to be the new parsture
from the corner, says he. He was round
maxim parstural calls, and had some tracks t
dstribit. Your doin's is the town talk, and
you'd better go and see bout it, and explain
things says he.