The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1875-09-01
THE PLUMBERS REVENGE
A LEGEND OF MADISON AVENUE.


"Atsend nv SON." the sick man said,
ssUnto my dying tones,
And swear eternal vengeance to
The accursed race Of Jones.
For why? Just nineteen years ago
A girl sat by my side,
With cheek Of rose aud breast Of snow,
Ny peerless promised bride.
A viper by the name of Jones
Came IN between Us twain.
With honeyed words he stole away
My loved Belinda Jane.
For he was rich and was poor,
Aud poets all are stupid
Who feign the god Of love is not
Cupidity, but Cupid.
Perehance 'tis well; for, had wed
That maid Of dark-brown curis,
Ton had not been or been, instead
OF boy, pair Of girls.
= Now, listen to me, Walter Smith;
HE to yon plumber bold,
All thou Touidst ease my dying pang,
His prentice be enrolled.
For Jones has houses many on
The fashionable squares,
And ther perchance may'st be called in
To see to the repairs.
Think on thy fathers rsvished love,
Recall thy fathers Ills.
Remember this, the death-bed oath,
Then make out Jones' billsp'
-. cANTo 1I.-TRE YOUNG AvENGER.
Yonng Walters to the plum Der gone,
A boy with smut on nose;
Furnace and carpet-sack in hand,
With the Journeyman he goes.
Now grown a joHrneyman himself,
In grimy hand he gripes
A candle-end, and meath the sink
Explores the frozen pipes. go
His furnace portable he lights
With smoking wads Of news
Papers, and smiles TO see;within
The pot the solder fuse.
He gives his fat; ':They are froze
Down about sixteen feet;
IF you want water ere July,
You must dig up the street"
practical Plumber" now is he,
AS witnesseth mis- sign,
And ready now "to undertake
Repairs in any line -, --
One day q housemaid, as he sat
At the receipt of biz,
Came crying: "Ho, Sir Smith, Sir Smith,
SiriJones' pipe is friz!"
He grt his apron around his loins,
His tools took from the shelf.
And to the journeyman he said,
''Fn see to this myself"
ssWould,' said he as he drew the bill,
'tMy father were alive!
10 lb. Of solder at 10c.,
81 75."
cAsTo 111.-rHE TRAITORS DOOM.
The Jones had houses many on
The avenues and squares,
And hired the youug Avenger, Smith,
To see to the repairs;
And Smith put faucets in, and cocks,
And meters, exc, and taps.
Connections. T joints, sewer pipes, =.
Basins, and water traps;
he tore the walls and ripped the floors,
Toreach the pipes beyond:
And excavations IN the street,
And meath the sidewalk yawned;
And daily as he entered up
The items in his book,
The plumbers face wore serene
And retrospective look.
And Jones would wiring his hands and cry
-.. "Woe, woe, and utter woe!
Ah me! that! taxes should be so high
And rents should be so loW!"
Then he would give the Smith the house,
AS instalment on account
Of its repairs, and notes Of hand
For the rest Of the amount.
cAETo 1v.-AvENGED AT LAST.
Now, Smith had been for dozen years
In the practical plumbing line,
And the bills of Smith did not grind SLOW,
And they ground extremely fine.
Terrace by terrace, house by house,
The lands Of Jones he took,
And heavier still the balance was
Writ in that fatal book.
At last no property nor cash
Had he !; so he did fall,
And the aEenging plumber locked
Him up in Ludlow Jail.
His heartIess creditor he besought
For mercy in his need:
"Nay, nay, no mercy: lie andros,
Quoth he, "in Jail like Tweed,
For have sworn avenged to be
On thee, thy kin and kith;
Rememberest thou Belinda Jane?
am the son Of Smith!!l
&c. T. Lanigan, in the New York World.
School Inspector Ito urchin)-