The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1875-04-21
SCRAPS.
Owed to spripg-frssha asiolsts.

Owed to spring-fresh zJolets. y
Aguo without fever is no gfsas 4
shakes.
A heavy business-importing eles
plants. =. $50,
The worth Of woman-=doab1e you,
0 man. .:t
Garlic eaters are not crowded IN 6
street cars. 90
An inside dental expense-having \
tooth filled. NJ. ..
"And still he spelledand still the wo.,-
That one small head could carry all he
knew" 8.
What is tho Spiritualists' paper?.
(W)rapping paper. s.
A door step is often the first step
in life taken by a little waif. 4
Question of the day-one l or two?
z, or C? able or ible7 an or
u out? ..E Il
The farmers sarest speculations
will be in live stock and plough
shares. e
If there is any thing on earth that
beats for aces it is kind and amiable
wife. .. 10.
At recent Cory foot-race between
two girls the one with blue garter
beat. .....I....<
Many men are blest with the most
uncommon sense, and do not seem
to know it.
"Send me a letter with true in
wardness or o paroxysmal kiss
writes gushing lover.
Why is the capital of Turkey like
q whimsical patient? Because it's
constant to no pill. ,. ~
1t is easier to bear up under our
mifortunes than to survive tho COM
ments of our friends on them.
Carlyle is not o fit man for census
taker. Ho says "England is popula-
ted by 10000, 900 souIs-moshy fools."'
Frank H. Walworth, the parricide
who is in The Auburn Insane ASYLUM
is said to be in dying condition.
A little man observed that be had
two negative qualities he never lay
long in bed and he mover wanted q
great coat. .,-5s.
st. Louis has ten thousand dogs.
The natives wear q section Of
stovcpipe on each leg during the mad
dog season. .'
A plain Wisconsin man, .horrifed
at over-hearing his wife calculate,
"Thats the kind ola cloths-pin am
went out to attempt suicide. ~
How true, as DR.. Johnson says,
that "ev cry man endeavors with his ut
most care TO hide his poverty from
others and his idleness from himself"
Talk about the poetry of motion
and sylph-like grace, but did you ev-
/: er stand by and see q womannse one
, tined fork to flop stove cover off ?"
We read o good deal in the papers
; of stylish turnonts in Washington.
Buffers turnout, though not stylish,
has been much admired'-Areodian.
A Troy bigamist ran out of the
!; back door while his two wives were
fighting over the question as 10 which
should have him, and has not since
been seen.
When D ,troiter was asked the
other day by traveller if he had ever
p, been in Brooklyn he hesitated to re.
ply: do / look like one of that sort
Of men sir2"
II don't care much about the bugs"
said Warmley, TO the head of gen
teel boarding house, "but the fact is
madam, / haven't the blood. to spare:
you see that your self" -.
!, 1t has been discovered that sbaky
!, firms usually belong TO the Millrite
persuation, because thay all keep the
day Of their going up profound &C.
cret.-Boston Adviser. =
A Chicago man thinks that tho
worst speller ought to get tho Die
tionary, and the winter should have
q "wreath Of sorrel," or somo other
garden sass, like them Greeks.
! When western man gets divorce
from crusading and strong-minded
wife, the papers say, "Mr. So-and.so
has resigned his position as husband
for Mrs. So-and-so.
The Providence Press says it never
heard in funeral oration of sermon,
and seldom in private conversation
the opinion expressed that a man with
$4,000 income had gone to hell.
Every man who mails package
subject to the new postage rates drops
it into the hole with tho wish that
Senate" Hamlin had TO sit for two
hours on hot shovel.
The average Gorilla of Central AT.
RIGA, now points 10 Stanley and his
band of explores, and pathetically re-
minds his grand children that ut is
what they may one day expect to
como to-"
"Dont call on me for three days"
is what an Ashland girl posted on the
front gate, and she further added:
"l'm going TO eat somo onions this
week if never have another beau"
-Clerciand Herald,