Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-08-27
WHOLE NO. 529.
Gleanings.
A popular brand of cigars-contra band

:. Gleanings.
q A popular brand of cigars contra band
+ The cost of remembering man can be
, counted by the price of his monument:
This narrow skirt fashion makes
l young lady look smaller by degrees and
2 beautifully less.
A toast to the American team:-May
they be successful rivals, even as their
guns are rifles.
Brigham says if Ann Eliza will only
come back he will not harem single hair
of her head.
One thousand five hundred people with
nothing to do, are daily ''strolling on the
sand" at Saratoga.
Joaquin NIiller's new novel is callSe
In California Eden" 1t illustrate -
origin and fall of Miller.
Fishermen should always take lunch
with them, for they may not be able to
get a bite during the day.
An Englishman was lately struck by
lightning out West, and they spoke of him
as "blarsted Englisher."
The Blackfeet Indians cannot divU.ee. ..s-s
wife, but they can lead her out on the
prairie and club her to death.
1t is singular that some of the "boys"
get up just as tired Monday morning as
they retired Sunday night.
Benjamin Franklin did not say, "T'ake
care of the bondholders; the laboring
men can take care of themselves"
A man who received many unreceipted -
bills said he never paid any attention to q
communication which was not signed. | !
A man being commserated with on &C. 7
count of his wifes running away, said
Don't pity me till she comes back again"
When an editor publishes a libel in II
/ Peru he is made to eat his own words by 81
swallowing the paper in which it is print
| ed "a
All boarding g-honses should be built y
with bow windows for the accommoda-
ton of the landladies' daughters and their
beaus.
! A mourning widower declares that
nothing brings him such affecting memo
ries of his dear, dead wife as to stumble
over flat-iron.
The only thing that will discourage a
California flea is sledge hammer blow
on the head; but he is ready for business
the next day.
Under some circumstances glass is
liable to break, is the way timid grocer
warns the public not to punch their elbows
through his show case.
f,,1
woods preacher, you are like onto hogs
eatin' acorns. They never look up to see
where the acorns come from"
| A negro highwayman near Lexington
/ bought 4 revolver of a man for So, and
then used the weapon to rob him of all his
money, including the purchase money.
An establishment in Boston, licensed to
sell ''vituals," was found to contain china
eggs, a wooden ham, an imitation of past
ry, and large stock of real liquors.
Men are erratic. William Homer, of
Memphis, permitted his wife to give
grand party, and when the guests arrived
he brought in the garden hose and sprink-
led them out.
We like to see man reasonably quiet
and peaceful, but when he stands in one 4
place long enough for the wasps to build
nest in the seat of his pants, he ought to
be kicked into some sort of resistance.
A lady correspondent, who assumes to
know how boys ought to be trained, writes
to an exchange as follows, 80, mothers!
hunt out the soft, tender, genial side of
your boys nature. Mothers often do
with an old shoe.
An Indiana school boy has written his
name high up on the scroll of fame this
time. His teacher wanted to know the
number of zones. -Four" was the re-
ply; ''the horrid, the frigid, the temperate,
and-the incorporate" He will enter the
lecture field this fall
Having frequently appealed to his IA
ther to buy him a jack-knife, and receiv-
ing for final answer, ''If you speak to
me again on that subject, I'll whale you,"
he went straight to his mother, crying as
if his heart would break, and said, 81
can't be good like George Washington,
with such a dad as I've got"
The New York Commercial: How
much for that broadfaced chicken on the
fence:" inquired an Irishman of farmer
on Staten Island the other day THAT is
not a chicken, it's an OWL" replied the
farmer. Il don't care how ould he is,
would like to buy him." said the Irish
man.
Not long ago, at mansion on Murry
Hill, sentimental young lady strolled
with gentleman, on whom she had her
eye, into the conservatory. Looking up !.
pensively into his face, she said, with tears
in her eyes: "Ah. no one loves me, Mr.
Barnes" ''Some one does" "Yes, said
the lady, dropping her head and pressing
his arm ever so little. "Yes, Miss Nellie"
said the wretch, God loves you"
The Paterson Guardian says that
neighboring farmer recklessly ventures
the following challenge: Il will bet
$42.25 that my hired man can take longer
to get to the corn field get back to dinner
quicker, eat more, do less, and bear down
harder on panel of fence than on any
other hired man within ten miles of the
city hall of Patterson"
On being asked by one of his fair
daughters why the bulldogs nose is placed
so far behind his mouth, a very reverend
gentleman discovers another instance of
the merciful consideration ever shown by
shall we say Nature?-to the humblest
of her creatures, and replied: "My love y,
it is to enable him to breathe more COM
Portable while he is hanging on to the
nose of the bull!'
a brick is simply chunk of clay
roasted to death. 1t is not largc-it does
not weigh much-it is mere trifle com.
pared to a mountain. And yet, when
Milwaukee man meets brick as he enters
the street door at midnight, he howls,
and roars, and rushes after the police, and
strikes at his wife with dray-stake.
n colored base ball club in New Haven
have queer way of testing their oppon-
ents' ability to stop balls One of them
sent a bullet at the first baseman just as he I
was about to put him out, made second,
and had only just time to reach third base
when the pistol gave out and left him on
base. He think the gratuitous puffs of
the Brown & Balderdash pistols should be
prohibited by law.
An old Highlander, rather fond of his