Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1875-05-29
Jumping at a ConcIusion.


from climbing the winding stairs, and
she sank almost breathless into the
waste-basket, putting the poems and
stories it contained to the only press
! they will ever know. There was troub-
led, anxious look on her face, pair OF
green spectacles on her nose, and gen.
eral air of sorrow and exhaustion about
her that appealed at once to our tend.
crest feelings. The feelings answered
the appeal, and stepped respectfully for
ward. After the aged female recovered
her breath she asked:
'Is there loryers office in this build
in'?"
We answered in the affirmative, but
were sorry to say the legal gentleman
] was out of town.
"Out of town, eh? We'll I suppose
I'll have to find some other loryer. l
KEN in town purpose to have this
thing fixed up, an amt a,goln back
ontil l know whether there is any law
an ekity in this country"
We ventured to remind the dame that
lawing was losing business in the end,
and should be resorted 10 only IN the
most aggravated cases. i,
aggregated cases!" she screeched
and the manuscript in the basket ratified
violently. young man, it is the most
aggregated case you ever heeled on
You ken never know the anguish OF a
mothers only dorter goes astray an
follers arter false idols"
"Your daughter has had trouble,
then?' ..r :,
"No; it's me what's havin' thetrouble;
but she's a-causin' it-she an tat tar
nal sheep-faced preacher"
"Ah! minister in the case? think
understand. Such things are becom-
ing too common, alas! too frequent
The cloth is being brought into disre-
pute by scoundrels who steal the livery
of heaven to serve the devil in. Poor
girl"
"Pore nothin' She's brazen huzzy
to 90 back on her mothers teachin,
Lord knows I've allus tried to raise her
right"
''But you must consider, my good
woman, that your daug hter has had
peculiar temptations. You must make
allowance for the fact that the tempter
came to her in holy garb, imposing up
on her confidence in the assumed char
acter of spiritual adviser, sllencing the
voice of her conscience with cunningly-
chosen Scriptural quotations. You must
not be severe on her. 49,.
"Well, Hammer, was a'bedicnt girl till
he KEN foolin' around. He KEN to the
house purity often, but l didn't s'pose
nothin' was wrong till a week ago,
when Hammer told me. Then l guy him
a mighty big piece Of my mind"
Gle denied it, of course?
"No, he didn't. He said he had did
his dooty as a christian. An his con-
gregation are all tickled over it, an
that what makes me bile
'Why, that is an aggravated case.
That he should be guilty OF such a
thing is bad enough; that he should call
it the performance OF a duty is worse;
and that his congresationShould uphold
him in such vile practices is beyond be
lief
well, it's so. an l wan to get lor
yer to issoo a conjunction or ijectment
or somethin to stop it.
Il fear there is no legal redress, un-
less it is a matter of very recent occar
renee. A Lill has passed the Legisla-
ture, governing such cases, but it won't
work backwards.
sWhat is in that bill 2 asked the old
lady, her face lightning up with a rew
hope.
1T makes it. obligatory upon the man
to either marry the woman, or support
the Chi
sWhat! shrieked the woman, spring
ING up with suddenness that sent the
basket of unacknowledged genius half
way across the room. You barri-head-
ed idiyot! My girl amt no such fool
as that! You editors think you're
mighty smart, un you're allus sposen
things wussern they are. I've been a
lifelong Methodist an I've tried to
raise my dorter in the same faith, but
that tarnal 'Piscopalyun preacher has
got her to gree to jine his church. LIN
her material garjeen, and | amt a-gon
to low her to do it. Eff she can't cit
along with the same religion her moth
er's got, she shant have any. That S
the whole case, an there amt no mar
ryin, nurs portion, nur Beecherln in
it.
From the way the old lady bumped
along down the stairs, we fear she was
unduly agitated.
We shall never jump at another con
clusion-no, not if it should lie within
an inch of our nose, and pointed proofs
were pressing against us on each side
and behind
A JOKE THAT Cesr LiFE.-A prac-
tical Joker named Edwards Cole, near
Penn Yam. was killed by his brother in