Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-05-21
HERE AND THERE,
Ills the first fly of summer,
Heard buzzing alone;
His heauteOus companions
lEff1 p. bara annn

al am afraid might be biased by the
evidence" was the objection a gentleman
made to serving on jury.
When the Aztecs ask for bread, no Won
der they sometimes get stone They feebly
articulate, "totauq uquitlaxcalliliaque
H."
They wondered at the short collections in
Missouri church, and it was found that
the collector had shoemaker : wax in the
bottom of his hat.
The greatest ieat in eating ever recorded
is told Of a man who commencing by boiling
a door, after which he threw up window,
and swallowed whole story.
An Iowa station agent is dumbfounded.
Having no red lamps he sent to the super
intendent for Il gallon OF red signal oil. In
stead OF the oil there came back his dis
charge. lie cannot yet comprehend why.
There is a man in Montgomery county,
Pa, who can hold up his hand and say thai
he never opened another mans letter by
mistake. We refer, Of course, to Mr. Pal
aelkielingar -LoWiSrihe CoWiT-JOurHdI.
\ country newspaper ont West thus heads
its report OF fire Feast of the Fire Flend
The Forked-rongued Demon Licks with
its Lurid Breath Lumber Pile Are the
Scenes of Boston and Chicago to be Repeat
ed?-Loss $50"
The Rev. John Norman, colored preach
er in Topeka, iancied that the Civil Rights
bill allowed him to steal chickens-an error
which will cost him his personal liberty for
some time to come.
With the dissemination of knowle ledge, the
world begins to appreciate the full goodness
Of the Gar Of Russia. 1t appears that sand
Is daily provided in the city parks Tor mud
pies for the children.
The grasshoppers have driven more than
seven hundred Methodist Church members
out of South Kansas the present year. Two
churches and three parsOnages have been
lost to the church, to say nothing OF Sunday
school teachers and scholars. One grass
hOppered preacher who has spent thirty
years in the ministry has received for his
work this year from the conference 1921
carpenter who was repairing barn in
Plymouth county. Mass, away from anv
human habltati0n. was 50 unfortunate a. to
throw his ladder to the ground. Being 4
stout man and not young, be dared not
Jump so he sat on the ragged edge Of that
barn the rest o: the day and all the night,
until he was rescued by tramp. who iUr
once in his life was made useful.
The Shanghai Gazette alluding to the
death Of the late Emperor of China, conveys
the information that shortly before his de-
cease gigantic image, the goddess of small
pox, was paraded round the City OF Pekin
in solemn procession. and then taken into
the very bedroom of the dying youth. where
it was worshipped and honored with many
prOpitlatory offerings. As, however, the
goddess continued obdurate. she was sub
jeceted to a severe thrashing and other IN
suits, and finally burned.
Something always happens to spoil any
grand speech which a Detroiter may try to
get OF. Yesterday. among the people at
the ierry-dOck to see the lee sweep by was
long haired. proiount-loOking man, whose
soul took IN all the grandeur OF the scene.
lie had just raised his arm and commenced
How puny Is man compared to nature and
her when warehouse clerk rolled
barrel of beans against his legs, and the
long haired man sat down on his plug hat.
which was lying en- the dock. lie wouldn't
even be spectator any l0nger.-DefrOH
Ere Press
Among the novelties in the penitentAry
in Shelby county. Tennessee. has been
dumb convict who, 10 the quality OF dumb
ness, added that OF idiocy. Quite Il curiasi-
ty was this man Wylie, ant one Offering
much entertainment to every body, Tor his
crazy freaks OF singing and dancing and
making faces were funny in the extreme.
So harmless was be though, that he was al
lowed to polish the boots OF the officers of
the prison. going outside the walls every
morning TO perform his task. \ lev san
days ago came the opportunity the dumb
man had been waiting for lie stole two
coats and pair OF pantaloons and all the
money he could and was gone. The country
was secured and Wylie was captured again.
bat he WASH; the same Wylie in most re
spects. lie was well dressed hlent OF speech
and anything but ldiotic. lie was taken
back, but doesn't attract mueh:sympatby as
a poor. harmless lunatic now.