The tribune. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1875-09-29
Items OF Interest.

ole Dc your faee. n .,trs.s ~ -.
A man falls into an error when he falls
out with his wife. 4s.,,,.s
For thin people to get suddenly fat
step on banana peel and come down
plump.
The. ladies of Memphis are working
industriously to form O centennial COM
mission.
Somebody advertises for .t machine
girls" The question is in what particu-
Lar a machine-girl is better than hand
maid. .
A new industry is being developed in
the South in the raising of fruit for the
market. A large crop has been sold this
summer.
An editor says he cannot be independ-
ent when he is obliged to collect his
own subscriptions in town where every
body keeps dog. .s..t
The reward of learning grammar is
found in being constantly shocked by
the conversation of those who have not
learned to talk by rule:
School vacation is almost over, and
the good boy may be seen seated on the
fence rubbing resin on his hands to
toughen them against the ferule.
In st. Petersburg bread is three times
as dear as in Paris, and every other eata-
BILE, from butchers meat downward, is
nearly double as costly as it was years
ago.
Seth Green says that editors can never
be successful fishermen. They get dis
couraged after a few minutes and throw
down the rod to write an abusive article
ON the finny tribe.
" Never mind, sonny. The rain
makes boys grow" remarked Massa-
| chusetts tramp the other day, when he
took silk umbrella away from lad in
the midst Of o rain storm.
During the last fifteen months eight
hundred and eight families of Mennon-
ite immigrants, numbering four thou
sand eight hundred and forty-four per-
! sons, have settled in Manitoba.
Three months ago the Montana papers
would have stated that horse-dealer
had been invited to hempen-necktie
sociable; now they say that the citizens
have put pull-back cravet on him.
"A subscriber writes to an editor in the
West: 81 don't want your paper any
longer" To which the editor replies:
81 wouldn't make it any longer il you
did its present length suits ME very
WELL"
"Did my moustache trouble you,
dear?" said Noggs to his sweetheart,
after giving her hearty osculation.
"No, sweet; considering the size and
strength of that moustache, / felt rather
down in the mouth"
The technical name of "hanks," ap-
piled to skeins of worsted yarn or other
thread, it is supposed was derived from
one Hankemus de Brabant, o Flemish
weaver, dyer, or fuller, who settled in
York, England, in 1731. a
A Partingtonian juryman, in Vermont,
recently informed his fellow-jurymen,
with great gravity, that % no external
magpitism being visible, he would vote
in the defensive" No attempt was
made to change his decision.
"My SON, said stern father to @
seven year old hopeful, ,"I must disci-
pline you. Your teacher says you are
the worst boy in the school" "Well,
papa, " was the reply, 'tonly yesterday
she told me was just like my father"
An artificial spouting bath of sulphur
water of the same temperature as the
springs of Bollicame, at Viterbo, was
prepared in the vatican for the use of
the Pope, who had the rheumatism, but
who recovered before the bath was
ready.
"Fignres will ie," said O young
married friend to our reporter this morn
ing. "and don't you bet on the figure of
a woman until you know by actual OBJ
servation just what you have to sustain
your judgment. Yes, sir, know that
figures will lie."
Yesterday, when q woman fell down
near the city hall, a man, leaning against
the fence, waved his hand and remarked
"Zhere's where zhay have vantage. Fl
fall down folks zhay I'm zhrunk. Women
fall down an folks zhay she oughter sue
zhe city for ten thousand collars.
A recent advertisement contains the
following startling information If tho
gentleman who keeps the shoe store
with red head will return the umbrella
of young lady with the ivory handle to
the slate rooted grocer's shop, he will
hear something 10 his advantage, as the
same is the gift of q deceased mother
now no more, with the name engraved
upon it.
Three months ago discharged conduc-
tor was killed by an express messenger,
while the former was trying to rob his car.
Recently, 1000 was paid by the conduo.
tors mutual benefit association to the
conductors widow, her husband having
been member in good standing.
She is an excellent woman, in poor
circumstances, and the association paid
the money without raising any question
as to the way her husband met his
death.
A lady residing in Lansingburg, N.
Y. hailed n passin0 car with her little