The tribune. [volume] (Beaufort, S.C.) 1874-1876, 1875-08-18
LIVING ON THE OLD MAN.
How a Man {" "Fr,n hi, Son. for Co,,,.,

dIgnant farmer room to vent his woes.
The story Is appropriate for this conas
mencement season:
MIsTUR EDIToR-I hain't no eddica-
tion, and L thank God for it-Gov. Lip
pitt said in his kollege speech that edi
cation paid better than mortgage at six
per cent.
Governor Lippitt, 1 ask you have YOU
got such things as three highly edicated
sons on your hands, what can't support
themselves, and all living on the old
MANI You know you haint, and as /
have, guess know as much about this
edication matter as you do. L cuss the
day when hturray ambition broke out in
my family-I fit three sons to kollege,
and If L had not had one left to stay on
the farm to work with me, we should all
on us be takin deep interest IL the an
nual appropriations for the poor of the
town.
My Silas studied law, and all the write
he has yet seen has been on hisself. He
has to sware out of Jail three times a
week, regular trips he makes, Monday,
Wednesday and Friday, Like the steamer
Rhode Island from Stonington.
He has got pretty little hoffis as ever
you see, with the legal works of Smol-
lett, Byrons, and all of the great Jurists
ranged on shelves-the portrait of Rufus
Chote and that gurl what dances so good
Mt the Theatur, hung up on the walls.
We furnished him with all those neces
sarles of the legal profession, and al
though he smokes and drinks beer. and
does all young lawyer ought to do to
win confidence and public esteem, it is
all no go.
he belongs to ten secret societies, and
tell him wish to God he'd line one
80 secret that his creditors could not
find him.
He buys oil his tobacco in nv name
for fear of its getting attached; and as
Tor his beer, he drinks up five dollars
worth at a time, and then swears right
out omit. He is getting low-spirited
now, and says that all the Blackstone he
wants to know about is the Blackstone
river, with big stone led to his heels,
which made his mother cry; but I told
him he was of age, and had no control
over him.
Poor Silas, when he graderated at kol-
lege hls orashun was on GA classical
life." ' -N
His mother and cried in the Baptist
church when we heerd him deliver it,
we didn't know what for then, but hev
since found it. tell Silas that the only
chance see ahead for him is to take to
drink strong, then reform. and maybe
the temperance fblks will shove him
along to keep him moral and steady.
:. MY t'cther boy, Ezra, studied for to
be doctor. The first case he had was
Hawkins, that was gored so bad by o.
neys big bull. Hawkins had six good
al, q l.
bull muxed with him, which made it q
pad case. Ezra wanted to be sure, so
he gave him all the medicine he had on
hand at onoe. Just as Hawkins was n
dying he writ an affidavit that the treat
ment he received from the bull was gem
erous and humane compared with that
OF his doctor. Hawkins widow sued for
malpractice, and her lawyer told the
Jury that M. D. stood for murderous
doses, and that Ezra was drunk, and
that he was doctor of many drains but
few scruples. At this joke the Judge
and jury laughed like split, and they gin
big verdict ,agin Ezra, and he had to
run off to Californy.
he drors small drafts on me often. so
we know he is alive, which is more of q
cTmfurt to his ;csother than to myself.
When Ezra graderated his orashun was
on "Knollege .purtection against the
kelamities Of Efe." His mother and I
cried then and we have since found out
why.
But the saddest case of all was our
poor little Calvin. At the time when
unthinking youths are spent in laying
stone walls or hoeing corn Calvin was
seriously thinking of the more important
work of saving souls. He entered col
lege and was finally settled over q large
parish at Heilburn Woods.
For few years things went smooth.
He not only saved other salls, but he
meekly accepted his portion of the
trials and discipline of life by getting
married and raising up little family Of
souls of his own
Then his parish got tired of him and
told him to quit, and they turned him off,
as they do ministers, by passing lot of
resolutions about the pain it give to sun
der such tender and hailed ties.
He and his hull family come home to
us and arter we got about used up with
them, 1 got Calvin's life insured for all
could, and he sailed ten months ago as
commissioner to lot of ferocious can.
nibals. ] have prepared my mind to see
soon from the king of the tribe letter
something like this:
MY DEAR SR-Your son Calvin
arrived in good condition. While we
regret to state that he disappointed us
all sadly in regard to the amount of
gravy, it gives me pleasure to add that
he was tender and mall-boned. Should
any other member of your estimable
family feel inclined to Christianize us,
send him along. We can stand it as
long as you can.
Poor Calvin's orashun was on "The
final results of the missionary enter