The Lake County star. [volume] (Chase, Mich.) 1873-current, 1875-10-14
NUMBER "a.
A Slashing Criticism.

the editor, Colonel Bangs, IN order 10
ascertain why that narrative had not
attracted attention. When Stack men,
toned his errand, the Colonel reached
for the manuscript, and, looking very
solemn, he said:
"Mr. Stack, don't think ! can accept
this story. In some respects it is really
wonderful; but l am afraid that, if /
published it, it would attract almost too
much attention. People would get too
wild over it. We have to be careful.
For instance, here in the first chapter
you mention the death of Mrs. McGinnis,
the hero's mother. She dies; you inter
Mrs. McGinnis in the cemetery; you give
an affecting scene at the funeral /; you run
up q monument over her, and plant
honeysuckles upon her grave. You
create in the readers mind strong i'm
preston that Mrs. .McGinnis is thor
Oughly dead. And yet, over here in the
twenty-second chapter, you make man
named Thompson fall in love with her,
and she is married to him, and she goes
skipping around through the rest of the
story as lively as grasshopper, and you
all the time alluding to Thompson as her
second husband. You see that kind OF
thing won't do. 1t excites remark.
Readers complain about it,"
"Thunderl you don't say did that ?
Well, now, do you know l was thinking
all the time that it was Mr.. McGinni.
that l buried in the first chapter2 /
must have got them mixed up some
how" :.
"And then" continued the Colonel,
"when you introduce the hero, you men,
tion that he has got but one arm, having
lost the other in battle. But in chapter
twelve you run him through sawmill
by accident, and you mention that ne
lost an arm there, too. And yet in the
nineteenth chapter you say, 'Adolph
rushed up to Mary, threw his arms about
her, and clasped her to his BOSOM and
then you 60 on to relate how he sat down
at the piano, in the soft moonlight, and
played one of Beethoven's sonatas with
sweet, poetic fervor.' Now the thing,
you see, don't hang. AdOlph couldn't
possibly throw his arms around Mary,
| If one was buried on the field of battle.
and the other was minced up in a saw
mill; and he couldn't clasp her to his
bosom unless he threw a lasso with his
teeth and hauled her in by swallowing
the slack rope. AS for the piano-well
YOU know as we'll as do that an armless
man can't play Beethoven sonata un
less he knows how to perform the instru
ment with his nose, and in that case you
insult the popular intelligence when you
talk about sweet, poetic fervOr.' l have
nv fingers on the public pulse, and
| knew thew won't stand it,"
"Well, WE'LL" said Stack, 81 don't
know how / ever came to"
"Let me direct your attention to an
other incendiary matter" interrupted
the Colonel. ain the first love scene
between Adolph and-and-let me see
what's her name-Mary-you say thai
her liquid blue eye rested softly upor
him as he poured forth the story of hi'
love, and its azure was dimmed by
flood of happy tears Well, sir, about
twenty pages further on, where the vii
lain insults her, you observe that hel
black eye flashed lightning at him, ant
seemed to scorch him where he stood
Now let me direct attention to the fac
that, if the girls eyes were blue, ther
they couldn't be black; and if you NEAR
to convey the impression that she hat
one blue eye and one black eye, and sh'
had only looked softly at AdOlph out o
the off eye, while the near one roamet
around, not doing anything in particular
why, she is no phenomena for novel
and only suitable for place in th
menagerie by the side of the fat woman
And then you say that. although her eey
was liquid, yet it scorched the villain
People won't put up with that kind o
thing. 1t makes 'em delirious and mul
derous."
"Too bad" said Stack. 81 forgo
what said about her eyes, when wrOt
that scene with the villain"
"And here in the twentieth chapter
you say that Magruder was stabbed wit
a bowie-knife in the hands of the Span
lard; and in the next chapter you Civ
an account of the post-mortem examina
tion. and make the doctors hunt for tn
bullet and find it embedded in his liver
Even patient readers can't remain cain
under such circum stances. They los
ontrol of themselves"
"Its unfortunate" said Stack.
"Now the way you manage the Brown
in the story is also exasperating. Firs
you represent Mrs. Brown as taking he
twins around to church to be christeneo
In the middle of the book you make Mr.
Brown lament that she meyer had an
children, and you wind up the story b
bringing in Mrs. Brown with her Crane
son in her arms, just after having cause
Mr.. Brown to state to the clergyma
that the only child he ever had died !
his fourth year. Just think of the effet
of such a thing on the public mind
Why, this story would fill all the insar
asylums in the country"
"Those Browns don't seem to be yer
: definite, somehow" said Stack, though
fully. -.
"Worst of ALL" said the Colonel, "i
chapter thirty-one you make the love
resolve upon suicide, and you put the
in boat and drift them over Niagal
Falls. Twelve chapters further on yo
T suddenly introduce them walking in Il
t twilight in a leafy lane, and, althoue
q afterward she goes into nunnery ar
4 takes the black veil, because he has bee
; killed by pirates in the Spanish We
0 Indies, in the next chapter to the la
y YOU have a scene where she goes to
$ surprise party at the Presbyterian mi
ister's and finds him there making Q
} rangements for the wedding as if nothil
d had ever happened; and then, after "
L disclose the fact that she was a boy
!. disguise, and not woman at all, "
It marry them to each other, and represe
the boy heroine as giving her blessing
!; her daughter. o, It is awful thinl
u won't do. 1t really won't. You'd bett
q 90 into some other kind of business, N
Y Stack"
;. Then Stack took his manuscript a
!, went home to fix it up, SO as to ma
q the story dovetail better. The Arg
q will not publish it.
% GLASS, NEELY Il Co., proprietors
the Keystone Iron Works, Pittsbu
er Pennsylvania, have suspended paymel
in and closed their works. The liabilit
e. are stated at about $310, 900, with ass
m amounting to $3.50, 900, but the princil
Id portion of their assets, consisting OF m
as property and real estate, is not availa
lis at the present time. The cause of