davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
and write chapter on every separate
smoke, but IL isn't. Won see"

and write chapter on every separat
spoke, but it isn't, you see,
lie leaned back and sighed again
"And as to your coiins, they ar
doubtless nice coffins, and your price
are probably reasonable, but could
go on and say: Mr.. sackcloth, tn
undertaken, has just received his new
styles in spring cofins, all sizes, ane
is now prepared to see as many of hi
old customers as want something
handsome and durable at a moderate
price Gould I say that 7''
Another Sigh.
Il couldn't say that you were hold,
ing a clearing-out sale, in order tc
get ready for the spring trade, or that
for the sake Of increasing your pat
rouage, you had decided to present
each customer with chrome. |
couldn't say that you we're repairing
and repainting, and had the most at
tractiye coffin shop in Detroit. 1t
wouldn't do to hope that people
would patronize you, or to say that
all orders sent in by mail would be
promptly Glled, and that your motto
was Quick sales aud small profits : "
lie put on the look Of a tombstone,
and nade no reply.
"You see, if you had stoves 10 sell,
or dealt in mackerel, or sold fishing
tackle everything would be lovely,
You are an NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., Sc
date, mournful. You revel in Grape,
and YOU never pass a black walnut
door without thinking how much
good coffin lumber was recklessly
wasted. The tollins bell is music to
YOU, and the City Hall flag at half
mast is fat on your ribs. Wed like
to oblise You, but you see how it is. "
"les, | zee, he sighed and he
formed in procession and moved down
stairs, looking around now and then
to see if the hearse was just tA;rty-
four feet behind the officiating clergy
mars 2asv;sga, ,~-UetroN Free Press
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
fTFFING AN UNDERTAk Err.

1--WE taken your paper for twenty
six years he commenced as he
reached tie head of the stairs, "and
now want puff.
lie was very tall, slender nan,
had face which hadn't smiled since
lSl2, and his neck was embraced b.
a white cravat and lis hands were
thrust into black gloves.
1--WE got new hearse, a new stock
of coffns, and | want local notice,
he continued as be sat down and
sighed, as if ready to screw 9 coffin lid
down.
"My dear sir, ro'led TIE man ia
the corner, u ve met you at a great
many funerals, and Your general bear
ing has created favorable impression.
You sigh with the sishers, grieve with
the grievers, and on extra occasions
you can shed tears of sorrow, even
though you know that You can't get
ten per cent. of your bill under six
months
"Yes," sighed the undertaken, in.
stinctively measuring the length Of
the sable with his eye, and wondering
to himself why editors tables weren't
covered with Grape, with rows Of cof
fn-nails around the edges.
death is a very solemn thing,
continued tho man in the corner; "Eut
still, it is an occasion when one can
appreciate neat thing. I've seen
you rub your knucklcs against door
posts and never change countenance;
I've seen you listen to eulogies on men
who owed you for twenty years before
their death, and you looked even more
solemn than the bereayed widow; I've
seen you back your hearse up to a
door in such an easy, quiet way that
it robbed death of half it's terrors.
All this l have seen and appreciated,
but l couldn't write puff for you. !"
"Why not7" he demanded.
"For many reasons. Now you
have new hearse. Could I 60 on
and say: "Mr. Sackcloth, the genial un-
dertaker, has just received a fine new
hearse, and We hope that our citizens
will endeavor to bestow upon it the
patronage such enterprise deserves.
1t rides easy, is handsomely finished,
and those who try it once will want
no other. Could I say that ?"
"No, not very we'll.
"Of course | couldn't. You can
call a grocer or dry goods man a
genial friend and its all right, but
you aren't geuial-yon can't be. 1t
is your business to be solemn, If you
could be even more solemn than YOU
are it would be money in your pock
ct.
That's SO, he said, signing heavi-
ly.
IF it was an omnibus, or a coal
cart or a wheel barrow, coaII 70 on
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
~CAT0CTIN CLARION,
A WEEKLY NEWSPAPER

Containing acsrefully prepared abstract
Of the News Of the Day; Historical
rkctch of Past Eyetits in Frederick county,
Foreign and Domestic cantelligenoe, Topics
ef the Times; carep4ty iscepared Markets;
items of Interest, peINical or otherwise
Local Intelligence, and rare selection 81
'instructive Reading.
Q'ERMs-$1 so in advance; ~ % IT Tire
end of the year.
ET Sin gle copies-5 cents.
RATES OF ADvcKEuENe
Transient AdVoztiscuaezts 70 be fasA *or
Invariably in advance.
One Square, four insertions or Tess 81 se
g" :" each subsequent inser. 50
ct" two months so
F three months: 6O
:" " six months =: %
:" " one year = ~
Twelve lines ccHstxute q square
sE- A liberal deduction made TO yeacey
advertisers,
~ Local or speeig notices 2ss eexss
a line.
JOB PRINTING executed with neat
ness and dispatch, and on liberal terms
Material. all new and good impression
guaranteed.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
$tletftd Aoehy.
BUSYBODIES.

1t is fact, as I've been told,
That people in the days of old,
Got rich in silver and in gold,
No matter what they bought and sold,
1y minding their own businesa.
They did not try to wound ones fame,
Or SANDER anybodys name;
They cEod not when you went or came,
Trey pleased themselves, you did the same
afit was your own business.
And it a man did what was right
In his own mind, and in the sight
OF God and law, by day and night,
He went ahead and fought the fight,
Determined on bis business.
Bat in &egen'rste modern days
There's quite a change in peoples ways,
And wbat a person does or says
Must be held alr unte the gaze
Df every busyboey,
Add if you do not tell them, too,
Where you are going, and what you do,
They got into such an awful stew,
They'll epcn watch and follow you--
These rery l~sybodies.
And then they surely think they know
just when you come and when you go,
And they will whisper so and se,
To every friend and every foe
These very busybedies.
But if We take the pairs TO sec
Wine these senc busybodcs be,
We find there's not he or she
Who has decent history
Among these busybodics.
But let us no more notice take
Ofevil tongues but for their sake,
Wen hope and pray they soon may wake
From wickcdncss, and money make
By minding their own business.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

REMEMBER THIS. - One thousand
shingles laid four inches to the wealth
er will cover one hundred square feet
of surface, and five pounds Of shingle
nails will fasten them on. One-tifth
more siding or flooring is needed than
the number Of square feet of surface
to be covered, because of the lap in
the siding and the matching of the
floor. 1000 lathes will cover 70
yards of surface, and IL pounds Of
nails will nail them on. Eight bushels
good lime, sixteen bushels of sand,
and one bushel Of hair will make
enough good morter to plaster 100
square yards. A cord of stone, three
bushels of lime, and cubic yard Of
sand will lay 100 cubic feet of wall
Five courses of brick will lay one foot
in height on chimney, six bricks in
a course will make fue four inches
wide and twelve inches long, and
eight in a course will make hue
eight inches wide and sixteen long.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

Observation-Disclosures IS very hard
to bear. Yet we must all learn to eX-
pect it, and to suffer it as calmly as
we can. TO have our best .eeds
turned and twisted into evi! ones to
have our acts and words utterly mis-
represented to have those turn cold
to us for whom we have always felt the
warmest friendship, is only the fate Of
humanity, Not all tAc truth and
tendencies that heaven gives can save
us from injustice. Nay, since enemies
are often made by acts Of kindness,
and people generally dislike those who
do them favors, one will find that
where most Injustice was to be ex-
pected there is the greatest lack Of it,
People who want to think i'll of others
can always do SO. They can willfully
blind themselve. to good points and
exaggerate the bad ones. There may
be two meanings to many things that
are said, and the sneer that was sar-
casm will turn a friendly speech into
yenomous enc. "Ue did this for os-
tentation," or Just to make people
talk of him She wants people tc
believe her an angel, and SO goes
about pretending to smile All these
reproaches are to be expected by the
most unaffected and simple hearted
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
SLIaHT MIsAppREuENSIoN.-" :"

| ~ u " IL L Iva lOhII IhLH ENOlON. II
new tail for the boys just out" sale
Mrs. Darlington, as she read the an
nouncement in booksellers window
on Washington street, and she smiled
with the conceit that crossed hel
mind. She looked at Ike, who was
gazing in tho window very wistfully
at some pictures. "How do you think
you would like tale, dear p she
asked, iaokng from him to the placard
on the window. He grinned at the
question, and looking in the same d.
rection as herself, replied, First rate. "
Though the word "tale' was legiti-
mately spelled her mind had accepted
for it caudal signiication that rather
ran behind the booksellers meaning.
Ike's readiness to answer rather
alarmed her, and with an assumed
gravity she remarked
"Vou would like to hayo a tail,
would you? Well, well, boys are so
apt to act like monkeys that they
may want to look like them at is
a story" said Ike, who had seen
through the mistake she had made.
Don't be impertinent, Isaac" said she.
Never gay anybody tells story, be-
cause its just rs bad as saying they
lie. 1t isn't good manners,
1T is story book that is Just out, "
persisted the Juvenile.
" Why" responded she, SO It is.
What q mistake it was. declare, ]
believe ! N losing ,ny sensations.'
She moved onward, thinking what
a queer mistake she had made, and
Ike amused himself by moving on be-
hind big man, in vain endeavor to
keep up with his strides.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
USEFUL IMPORTATION.

At meeting Of milk producers in
Massachusetts, some time ago, Mr..
Whethercell stated that COWS upon an
average need forty-fve pounds of hay
per day or its equivalent while giving
milk. The large COWS produce moro
milk for the amount Of feed given
than small ones. That scrub COWS
will give annually l,4O0 quarts of
milk, while the Holstein and some
other breeds produce 1000. All
COWS should be kept clean, as we'll as
their surroundings. In producing
winter milk, COWS without grain will
do nothing.
Never paper wall over old paper
and paste. Always scrape down
thoroughly. Old paper can be got off
by dampening with salaratus and wa
ter. Then 60 over all the cracks of
the wall with plaster of Paris, and
finally put on wash Of weak solu-
ton of carbolic acid. The best paste
is made out of rye flour, with two
ounces of glue dissolved in each quart
Of paste; half an ounce Of powdered
borax improves the mixture.
Two ounces Of coalmon tobacco
boiled in gallon of water is used by
the Chatham street dealers for reno
waiting old clothes. The stuff is rubbed
on with a stiff brush. The goods are
nicely cleaned and strange to add, no
tobacco smell remains.
TO remove starch or rust from fiat
irons, have piece Of yellow beeswax
tied in a course cloth. When the iron
is almost hot enough to use, but not
quite, rub it quickly with the bees
wax, and then with a clean course
cloth.
An oaken color can be given to new
pine floors and tables by washing them
in solution of copperas dissolved in
strong lye, a pound of the former to
gallon of the latter. When dry, this
should be oiled, and it will look we'll
for year or two; then renew the OIL
ing.
Experiments recently made in Eng
land indicate that wagons are most
easily drawn on all kinds of roads,
when the fore and hind wheels are Of
the same size, and when the pole lies
lower than tie axle.
MELT together tallow and common
rosin in proportion Of two parts of the
former and one Of the latter, and ap-
ply the preparation hot to the soles of
the boots or shocs-as much Of it az
the leather will absorb. One farmer
declares that this little recipe alone
has been worth more than the cost Of
six years subscription to the news
paper publishingit.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
THE pretty plavfulness with which

THE pretty playfulness with which
little children charm away the
cares Of their parents was illustrated
by touching occurrence in Indiana.
A boy Of six years, after watching the
laundry proceedings, and especially
the way in which the wrinkles disap-
pearel from the linen before the flat
iron, retired to mediate in the room
where his father was taking his after
dinner nap. There, gazing upon the
burrows which years Of struggle had
made upon the marble brow Of his
parent, he was siozed by . beautiful
idea. In less than a minute that de-
voted little boy was smoothing out
those marks Of time and sorrow with
very hot flat iron. Life doesn seem
so happy to his young heart as it used
to 4 short tme ago.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

You NAY go on inventing washing
machines for the next fifty years, but
to the average eye you can't patent
anything equal to the sight of a lady S
diamond rings flashing in and out ol
the sparkling snds as she thumps a
wet towel up and down the washboard
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
Ar the trial of one Putnam,

AT the trial of one Putnam, at
Virginia City, Tor leading an idle
and dissolute life, District Attorney
Cambell defined a hummer os IAN ag.
gregate, concatenated, conglomerated
segregated, contaminated, id loafer,
This decided the jury at once, snc
they found Putnam guilty.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

ONE of the theatrical critics having
spoken of Emily Soldene as "a Gordan
shape of dazzling hue, the Providence
Press says: 1--WE suppose he means to
convey the idea that she's knotty as
we'll as nice"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

WHEN a common japanese goes
into the presence Of an oAice-holdel
he must say: "Great and distin.
guished child of the sun, deign to put
your foot upon my neck. There
some pleasure in holding an office in
that country.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
FOR SHERIFF..

7 return my sincere thanks to the voters
Of Frederick county for the very f1attcring
vote they gave me at the late election; and
ly the advice Of very many Of them an
rounre myself as n candidate for Shcrln a.
,hc next election and earnestly mlicit their
ennnott n. G.. FlTZIIS Gil.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

\ WESTERN editor did not wish tc
hurt the feelings of a gentle poet, but
apologi2cd for uhe non-appearance ol
a long and tender poem by saying
"Beautiful Spring was crowded out
of our Sunday edition TO make room
for the great snow storm.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

NEVADA brides won't stand much
foolishness at wedding, Recently
one of them while going up the aisle of
the church stopped short and kicked
all the skin off the shins Of a grocms-
man wao trod on her trail
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

A PROMINENT Detroit Univcrsalist,
some months ago, married a red
headed widow with four children, and
last week remarked to friend: Il
was blind when | believed there was
no hell. ] see now.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

A MAN who was sentenced to be
hung was visited by his wife, who
said my dear, would you like the
children to see you executed p mo,
replied he. "That's just like you,
said she, "you never wanted the chill
dren to have any enjoyment"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
EASTW ARD.

will run as follown:
EASTWARD.
Leave Willamsport at $40, 4. m. and
,ao, .. M.
Leave hagersrown a, 70oa. IN. and 2.lo
y. IN.
Leave Mechancstown at SOC =. m. and
Leave Frederick Junction at $50 a. m
and $50 p. m
Leave Union Bridge at eco and BAG
&. m. and 400 p. IN,
Leave New Windsor at 6.19 and 900 AM
and 4.l6 p. nj.
Leave Westminster at $50 and Q 80 n. m
Leave Nnksbtrg at ;. a and 1908 a. m
and 5.10p.m IN.
Leave Glen Morris at 7.30 and 1910 a. III
and 5.2G p. NJ.
Leave iaeistcrstown at 7 SO and 1914 a. m
and 5.99 and ..0s p. IA.
Leave Owings' Mills a. ?. 4S and 1926
p. m. and SAP p. IN.
WESTWARD.
Leave Fulton Avenue, Baltimore, at
500 a. m. and 400 and 5 so n. m.
Leave Westminster at $50 a. NJ. and
and $50 and 730 p. m.
Leave Mcchanicstown at 1857 a. m. and
G,57 p. m.
SUNDAY TRAINS WESTWARD.
Leave Fulton Avenue, Baltimore, at 100
4. NJ.
Leave Westminster at 1890 a. M.
SUNDAY TRAINS-EAsTwARb
Leave tnion Bridge at $50 p. m.
Leave New Windsor at BAT p. m.
Leave Westminster at Ala p. IN.
Special City Passenger Cars will be in
waiting at the Cpmpahy's office corner OF
Eu;aw and Fayette streets, starting thirty
minutes previous to starting time from Full
ton Depot thus connecting with all out
going trains, and Special City Cars will be
in waiting at Fulton Depot on the arrival
of all trains, enabling passengers TO reach
all central and eastern portions of the city.
Stage connections are made with 800
A. NJ. train from Baltimore at Glen Morris
station for Hamstead and Manchester, ano
at Mechancstown for Emmitsburg.
j. Nj. HOOD,
Nov. 3-f General Manager
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
10 the Voters Of Fred.
rrick County.

II ENTLEMEN-G for tire very
" tla,tcrng vote | received st the last
Republican Nominating Convention, !
arain at the urgent solicitation of n any
warm friends ia the several districts ofthc
,,e,rrty. announce myself as Il candidate
for the next Shcriialiy, and respectfully
solicit your support -
iunc 13lc JOHN SWEADSER.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

THE transit Of Vonus-a pretty miss
tripping gracefully through the street.
A BOW that Is much prizel by the
Far ones he elbow.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
ERICK W II T E,
Justice Of the Peace and Col.
IeCtOr.

WILL attend to all business entrusted to
him with promptness and fidelity.
eE- Office for the present in DIR. Whites
Office near the Square
Mcchanicstovn, Nd July l2.V
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
Dr.. GEO. M. thinner M AN,

TNHANKFUL for past favors, odors hi
i. professional services to the citizens 0
Mechancstow n and vicinity.
dsffice and residence, South Water St.
tiec.3-tf
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

An OMAHA woman lifted q barrel
of flour from the ground INTO a wagon
on Thursday, gave birth to twins on
the following day, and on the Monday
following split pine wood enough to
last week.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

AN economical farmers daughter
in Massachusetts, put off her wedding
day because eggs were up to forty
cents a dozen, and it would take two
c:ozen for the wedding cakes and
pudding.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
Ati i,N T..

have made arrangements by which
can furnish almost any kind OF Machinery
ut tho lowest price. and beg that my
tcnds will purchase through me.
ylarch l4-tf
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

THIS is the season Of the year when
the farmer tells his son John, that if
he will sort over ten bushels Of pota-
toes, feed the stock, repair the fence
and reshingle the corn-crb he may
have the rest of the day to go rabbit
hunting.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

\ rArER in Southern Illinois re-
grets that it went to press zone day
too early 10 record the death of john
Bates"
"Pleese cum aroun and talk me to-
the spelin mach this evening, wrote,
an Oshkosh girl 10 Log beau
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

NTANTED--5,000 bushels corn, oats,
w clover seed, and potatoes at Depot,
Nechanicstown, Nd.
nlarJ-iw q ". .STOCkSDALE.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

Don't tell us any more about the
good women of old. An observer
who wrote hundreds Of years ago said
woman is necessary evil, natural
temptation, a desirable calamity, a
domestic peril, a deadly fascination
and painted i'll.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

TIE average length OF a farmers
life is s. years, while that of a printer
is 33, hence the necessity Of paying
for your paper very promptly.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16

H1Gu living for hard times-rooms
in the attic.
THE latest thing in front door locks
might keys.
4 rAT,EET wAitcy-a young doctor.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1875-04-16
Ezs s ~ k
CHANGE OF TINE.
Western MARYLAND Railroad

an and after Sunday, November lat,
" 1874, Passenger trans ou this road
will run as follown
New Orleans Republican. [volume] (New Orleans, La) 1867-1878, 1875-07-14
AUCTION SALES,
BY 8. Gulnault.
SUCCESSION OF FRANCISCO GUITAR.

SUCCESSION OF FRANCISCO GUITAR.
Second District Court for tho Parish Of Orleans.
No. 81, ls9.
PY p. GUINAULT, AUCT1oNEER,-oFF1c,
- corner OF Exchange alley and BienvilIe street.
SATURDAY, August I. 1875. will be sold at twelve
O'clock NJ. at the Merchants and Auctioneers TX
change Royal street. between Canal and Custom
house streets, by virtue of two orders from the
honorable the Second District Court for the parish
OF Orleans. dated March 50. 1875. and April g. 1875
TT two lGiUDeoe1s LOTS GROUND
Ia the Third District Of this city, designated by
NOS and OF square bounded by Goodcbildren,
forming the corner of Frenchmea and Goodchil.
dren streets, measures SO feet inch front on Good
children street by g. feet deep; together with all
on Lot No. z, adjoining the above measures 80
feet inch front on GOodchdren street. by 81 feet
deep.
ANOTHER LOT OF GROUND. situated in tho
same district. in the square bounded by Peace
Esplanade, Royal and Bourbon streets measuring
" feet inches lines front Peace street bv Sc
Ieet deep; together with twO-stOry frame bouse
No 81 having three rooms below and three above
with gallery IN front and on the side. Another
bric. building in the gard Of two rooms she'd
prlvIes, waterworks. paved yard. etc. See plan at
the Exchange
Terms-The purchasers TO furnish . bond or
bonds to the amount OF the price of adjudication
with good and solvent security to be approved by
the Administrator. and to be made payable in this
city of New OIL cans i'll twelve months from the date
per cent per annum from date of sale until final
payment, and to contain the penal clause of five
per cent attorneys fees in the event of judicial
proceedings TO enforce The payment of said bonds
The payment of said bonds and conditions shall be
further secured BY special MOI tgage and vendors
men on the property sold the purchaser to assume,
over and above his bid all the taxes for the year 1875
payaoie IN 1876, as Well as the drainage; buildings
to be insured and policy transferred 70 the admin
TRAITOR
Acts Of sale before W. J. Castel notary public
q the exrense Of the purchasers i've IA ~ 80 au7