Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1875-01-08


but swallowed II aud began -
"Billy is not the only one who has learn
od something tonight. / have learned
a wonai can crush a man in the very face
| Of truth and justice, and cover up her own
wicked, wicked ways, 10y practicing upon
bis silly sympathies. And now l give you
fair warning, Mr.. Brown, that whenever
want my way, and cant have II on straight
forward principles, intend to have fits.
Aud when you see me in fits, hope you'll
know how 10 treat a woman"
Mr.. Il. Is not Scotchman, and 1t is pos
sible to get an idea is his head without a
surgical operation but even the partner of
his joys and sorrows will admit that II re-
qulres something little short Of a mental
earthquake to do ii.
In this instance, he looked ut me, and
kept looking, at first with perfectly blank
face, then with an expression of bewlder-
ment, then amazement, then with awaken
ing Intelligence, aud last something like
scorn in his eyes. He did not speak. Like
Barkis, he is not overwhelmed with COLO
quial powers but, unlike Barkis, when
he does speak, it counts. As Aunt Becky
used to say about him, "John Brown is a
man # mighty few words, but what John
Brown says, he gnerally says to the pint"
Feeling, as suppose he did, on this occa-
sion that even he could not speak sufficient
ly to the "pint" TO do justice to the sub
jeci, he turned slowly and walked back in-
10 Alice's room.
Now there is no insult 50 Calling 10 a wo-
man as for her husband to refuse TO listen
to her when she has determined to give
him a piece of her mind. To work up
ones whole soul to a pitch Of angry elo-
quence, aud find no audience. Out Of the
bitter depths of my disappointment was
born another idea.
Quite remarkable, l think you will ad-
init, for little dumping of woman TO
have three ideas in one night but then
there was a strong head of steam on--tits
are very stimulating-and tho family
brain was pushing ahead beyond its nat
ural pace. Now this third idea was almost
sublime in It's audaclty.
l actually took il into my head not only
to attend the pantomine in Aice's room,
but to direct the performances-in short tU
elect myself theatrical manager.
So went and stood by her bed. She
was no better.
"We'll put the poutices on again, Mr..
Brown" She looked disguised even
through her tit. But wet them with vim
egar, and newly sprinkled them with red
pepper, and handed them over 10 Mr..
Brown to "put on"
"Now, Billy" l said, "she will be better
soon. When she begins to recover con-
sciousness, you will observe that the cor
ners of her mouth are violently drawn
down, while the outer corners of her eyes
will be drawn upward. l have seen many
such cases, and | know all the changes
| perfectly. After that she will remember
how cruelty you have treated her, and will
cry bitterly, and probably Ieproach you
for your unkind treatment. Then she will
| begin 10 feel the pOultices, and to beg us
to take them of. After which she will
drink glass of wine and go TO sleep"
| 1t was u sweet thing 10 see how, as soon
as The poultices began TO make her think
herself in-well, warm she tried 10 shape
| her face in accordance with my prediction.
She cut this part Of the performance short,
however, and passed rapidly inio the next
| acl. Here she was perfectly at home.
| Such faces as she made in the effort 10
squeeze out few tears may never more
behold. The pantou.ine ended here, how
ever; her cries and screams were terrific
and more than made up in tragic and ear
splitting eHuncalion for hsr lachrymal de
dciency. o, how she wriggled, and how
that quintuplc, back action, double-reflex-
combination poultice was pulling at the
dainty cuticle Of Ter charming feet.
'She is getting better" said Billy. 80
| speak 10 me, dearcst!'
lie had better have lon this entreat )
alone for he soon found himself in The po-
sition OF Ahasuerus. when he called for hi,
satanic majesty, who presently came and
made Ahasuerus wish he had called fol
somebody else. Such reproaches as sht
heaped upon his devoted head were enough
to make his mother turn in her grave. AZ
ter exhausting her vocabulary of abuse
she ordered us TO take off the poulticeS.
"No," said that thoughtful Mrs. b.
"you will have another fit as soon as lhes
are removed"
30, do take them of, dor
"No p-gently and firmly.
Billy.-"o, do take them off,
Alice.-"O, do, do, dor
Interested Malevolence.-"DJ you wan
TO see your darling dying before your eye
in another At ?"
DISTINGUISHED Benevolence. Lizzie, the
must come of; they are driving her wild.
Alice.-"They are skinning me; the
are killing me! Yah-h-h" tprolonge
} into roar like that OF brute)--"0 Lord
] am dying"
, General rush for the foot of the bed.
held The clothes down firmly and told th
men to stand back. Surprised at my We
i hemence, which was certainly impressive
as contrasted with my languor in the othe
part Of the performance, they gave wa
} aud stood back.
20, my darling, try aud bear ii littl
/ longer" said Billy preclpitating himse
= upon her breast in an embrace so violeT
as TO cut another yell in two parts.
r course, she could not stand this so sh
: struck him such blow in the face as mad
D him think there were tifly mustard pou
e tices In his eyes.
Then happened what l expected. St
l kicked the bed-clolhes up to the ceilin
: and sprung into the middle of the floor {
nimbly as an athlete, tore the poultices o
of her ankles, and rushed frantically alte
n some water to stop the burning.
: "She'll do" observed that one of Il
G spectators whose malevolent dispositio
o has been before alluded 10. "If she shou
have another fit, Billy, locate the mustal
@ plasters 10 q new position. / don't Thin