Weekly Trinity journal., 1875-10-09
Weaverville, Oct. 8, 1875.
ANINrLArED COCKTAIL.


northwest to a realizing sense Of the ne
cessity for AN issue OF more currency.
Rather an amusing and interesting occur
renee has trauspired during his visit,
which has not found its way into any Of
the local prints, but that the IV0fd may
deem worthy of publication. On the
morning alter his great initiation speech,
NJ. Kelley elt athirst and walking down
into jhe bar OF the fremont House, bade
TIE attendant barkeerer mix him awh'sNy
cocktail. While lac wa compounds
the liquor, syrup, bttcr-. ice aud wat.f
in due proportion heremarked: "Iou're
Senator Kelley, amt you?'
~ am; but don't be afraid, young
man, don't BE afraid" aaaJly replied the
great S.atesman.
~ thought you was" said the ar4ist in
liquors; ! heard you make bullyspeech
last night up to McCormicl,'s Hall.
Was that true you told US about them
bonds, and more grcenbaclls, and that
other >Aenmsan, oh ?"
"True ?" said the apostle Of initiation,
"oI course it was true. am II man Of
prineiple, young man, Il man OF strict
principle"
"Keercct, )" replied the baIkccper, MS
he poured the completed cocktail in am
Der arch into the glass and Glled Il tum-
bier Of water.
Mr.. Kelley tasted the beverage. See
here, Johmuy,' be said, "that cocktail
dJe-n't rise and take me by the throat 50
much us it should. / want it to be cali the
name implies. Ju,t make it t,trongeran
give II to me in Il bigger gla.>, wiIlyou?"
The barAceper promptly transferred
The contents inJo n water tumDler and
added about twice the quantity Of water.
Mr.. Kelley observed, somewhat testify:
"lIello, hello! What are you doing,
eh? / wanted a bigger drink, more Of IA
cocktail, you know"
The ba,keeper smiled apoogetcally,
and begging Mr.. Kelley'> pardon, emp
tied the diluted cocktail into "a weiss beer
glass, which he biimmcd with water.
There wn. uu ocean OF iuiJ, family tingcd
as it were, with piukish amber, on
the sur ace Of which Aoated Il shred of
lemon peel. The harkeeper pushed the
glass over to lis customer, and ailaUiy
resting both hands on the counter, asked
hnl how that suited him.
Mr.. Kelley first rubbed his eyes and
then pinched himself to be sure that he
was himself and awake; then lowered bis
spectacos aud inspected the Larkecper
narrowly. " Young man, he said at last
in his most solemn tones, "do you call
that cocktail ?"
Do I call that cocktail ?" hereplicC
pityingIy; "what'n biAzca do you call it
Taat. the best cocktail the world cvei
saw. Ther's whisky in it, there's gum
in it, there's Angostora Jitters in it,
there's lemon peel in it, there's water in
IT, there'- ice in it, and don't they make
cocktail? Ea.idcs it's called cocktail
ju-tH- dollar is called dollar, and
don't that make cocktail? You could
do anything with that cocktail that you
could d. with any other cocktail you
can drink it, you can pay for it; don't
that make it a. good aa any other cock
tail? Whatdoyou take me lot? Haven't
l read your speeches ?'
But ga ped Mr.. Kelley, GROWN!
very red in the face, there's too mucl
water in it"
"Too much water ~ rgjoincd the bar
keeper. " Why, you must have SO much
water in IL cocktail, anyhow, mustn't
you? Iou get your whisky like whut
you huaucial sharps call reserve, and
then you issue your cocktail ON that ba,i,
Ioa see You have an elastic cocktail,
cocktail that adupts itself to the wants O
the customer. 1.-The wants strong drial
he don't want much water; il lie wants
bong d.mk | II initiate his cocktail till it
volume equals his necessities. tell yot
I've studied up this here financial prob
lem.'
Bat, but" stammered Mr.. Kelley
"thetc isn't drop more whisky ali IN,
while, and every drop Of water you ado
MtaNcuo ana HpoIa IL.
That can't be-" rejoincd the bar
keeper. It, jUst like finance WINS
Ky wealth and cocktails currency.
you can cNpend your currency Withou
ans increase OF yuIr wealth and do u,
harn, why can't you initiate this cocktail
up to a hogs mead and let all them bum
mer, out n the street have good squaI,
mp?'.
. Yea don't under ,tand," replied Mr.
Kelley. it'=ditlerent IN financial matters
There, there is the relief Afforded by ml
300 ucbutrove}t-'
IL know it, 1 know it," brjsl<ly nu
.wcrcd the uarllecpsr; / tell you, Mr.
Keuty, your heads level. Now here
my ucoutroveluble cockuil.' Thu
aging, he poured half the contents Of tn
Wei,- beer glass into another weiss bee
glass; ihen continued Now this tum
bier is the bonds, and this tumbcr i, tn
grtenLncks When you want Ion!
d ink, you pour from this tumblel int,
the other one. JCs big thing" Mr.
Kelley was in despair. The bakoepe
continued:
" You see want to return to whisky
basis, but ! wish To do So without miuI,
tp the bu-Ine,- Interests at the county
Now. il you will wait till the water cynp
o'ute- aud leave, the whisky"
Here Mr.. Kelly -mote the counter will
hj- cane. " L1ok here" he shouled, al
sp,,e d. your expanding the volume o
that d.iuk, and humbuggng me witt
Jour Idlotic, iucoulroyeilible cocktails
and talking alodt returning to whi,k,
basis without dcrrngng my interest-
dom you see, you howlinga-s, that that
the same weak, thin, diluted, maWki.h
m-telc-s, nbomiuable slush all the time
| want an immediate return to whisk,
resumption aud no steps backward"
keerect, Jud se," replied the bar
keeper, Il. he threw the mnttel cocktail
into the sink, "we'l repudiate this, "A
they always do" And be mixed anothe
cocktail on whisky basis. But
said he, pose you hadn't another Il