New Orleans Republican., 1875-11-07
Mrs. Smyth,s Hushaud.
Max Adeler has this:

max Ad6ler has this:
The Widow Smyth called at M,
marble yard the other day, and the n
ing cow ersation ensued:
Mrs. Smyth-Mr. Mix, I am an,,
have my cemetery lot tixe6 up; to
new tombstOnes and reset the railing
called to see If could make some ~
tory arrangement with you.
Mix-Certainly, madam. Tell m.
cisely what you want done9
Mrs. Smyth-Well, I'd like to hava
tombstone put over the grave of john
husband, you knOw-and to have a MI
scriptiOn cut in 1t. Here lies John Sr,J
etc, etc. You know what l mean; thu
way, of course, and may be some Nj,
a design on the stone like a broken ros
or something.
Mix-I understand.
Mrs. Smyth-Well, then, whatT
charge me for getting up headstons
like that, out of pretty good white M,
and with Q little picture of torch n,
down, or a weeping angel on it, and
name of Thomas Smith cut on it2'
Mix-John Smyth, you mean,
Mrs. Smyth--No, mean Thomas
Mix-But you said John before.
Mrs. Smyth-I know, but that VA
fret husband, and Thomas was nv Nn
and want q new headst0pe for ~
them. Now it seems to me, Mr.. Mi.
where q person is buying more than
that way, you ought to make eome NJ
tlon in the price, throw sometime
Though. of course, want q pretty
article at all the graves. Not snv.
gorgeous, but neat and tasteful, and NJ
lated to please the eye. Mr.. Smytb !
not Q man who was fond of show,
him Q thing comfortable, and he wss |,
ned. Now which do you think is thu
tiest, to have the name in raised letbs
q straight line over the top Of the stoT.
just TO cut the words Alexander p, Sp
In kind OF . seml-circle in sunken le,t.
Mix-Did l understand you to ssy
ander P:9 Were you referring to JON
ThOmas2 ''1'
Mrs. Smyth-Of course not. Alsci
my third. I'm not going to neplec
grave while I'm fixing up the rest,
to make a complete job OF ii, Mr.. Mix.
l am about 1t, and I'm willing for ym
undertake it if you are reasonable IN
charges. Now, whstll you ask me fr
lot, the kind I've described, plain b1t
stantial, and sunk about two feet. i N
think, at the head of each grave. W.,
you charge me for them-for the VI
four.
Mix-well, I'll put you in those t.
hesdstones-
Mrs. Smyth--Four headstones, Mr. i
not thee.
Mix-Four, was it7 No; there was
and Thomas. and Alexander P. Thai
you eaid, think. Only three.
Mrs. Wbn .
too, as matter of course, the same q,
others. thought you knew l wanted
for Adolph-one made just like Johns
with the name different. AdOlph wa
fourth husband He died about d
years after l buried Philip, and Fm 4
ing mourning for him now. Now,
give me your prices for the whole Of il
Mix-Well, madam, want to b
reasonable as can, and / tell you whs
do. You give me all your work in ID,
ture, and IN put in those five headstor1
hardly anything above cost, say
Mrs. Smyth-Fonr headstones; not fu
Mix think You mentioned five.
Mrs. Smyth-No; only four.
Mix-Less see; there was John
Thomas. and Aleck, and AdOlph and ri
Mrs Smyth-Yes, but Aleck and ri
were the same one. His middle nams
Philip, and l always called him Phil
Mix-Mrs. Smyth, III be much obligs
You it you'll tell me precisely how
husbands you have planted up in thai
etery lot. This things getting q
mixed.
Mrs. Smyth-Whst do you mean, ID
saying "plsntedp l never planted
body. It's disgraceful to use such lang,
Mix-It's technical term, madam.
slwsys use 1t, and don't see a. its
to hurt any old row of cOrpses nl
Smyth. Planted is good enough for
men, and it's good enough TOR them.
Mrs. Smyth-Old row Of. What
mean, you impudeDt vagabOnd wol
let you put Q headstone on one of nv ID
IL you'd do it for nothing.
Then Mrs. Smyth fiounced out of thss
and Mix called after her as she
through the door:
"Lemme know when you 90 for am
man, and I'll throw him in q tombstcu
q wedding present. He'll want it soon
Mrs. Smyth is now looking at hesdl1
in marble yard at Wilmington
York Weekly.