Ottumwa weekly courier. (Ottumwa, Wapello County, Iowa) 1872-1899, 1875-02-24
SHE WHITFIELD HIM.
And He Concluded Not to Charge her
Any Fare.

any u 0IG.
From the Dubuque Times.
Hank Beals is the namc of q broad
shouldered, we'll proportioned, good.
looking. good naiured, open handed
conductor on the Illinois Central, rum
ming between this city and Cairo. In
the discharge of his duty, he has new
er failed to put . man off the train, IL.
case the passenger refused point blank
to pay his fare. He has given delin-
quent travellers the "grand bounce" in
every conceivable way, and has made
study Of the latest methods in order
to do the thing fashionably and gen.
teely. The argument " hich his "bunch
of fiyes" has invariably presented be.
fore was never known to fail till few
days ago, when, for the first time in
his experience, he had occasion to
politely ask lady to step out of the
the necessary 1S' fiens Mesns happen 70 have
fare.
| The young lady boarded the train q,
Amboy, with the intention of going
south . few hundred miles. When
the proper time arrived, Hank ap-
preached her and said
tsTickets!'
Tho young lady looked at him,
pulled out her pocket. book, gazed in.
10 its vacant depths, and observed
"Really, I havn't either . ticket or
the money to buy one..
"But Miss," said Hank, at is my
duty to collect . ticket or fare from
every passenger, regardless of sex,
age, or previous condition of servi.
"Sir," said the lady, becoming
slightly indignant, 81 am lone and
unprotected female. / know that the
tyrant man has deprived me and nv
sex Of our natural rights. know
that we are slaves, and that the fraud
ulent sex to which You belong, despis-
90 10, and scOuts our claim to equal.
ity with them. Why, sir, it it hadn't
been for women you wouldn't be here
asking me for abominable, filthy dross.
If II hadn't been for women You new.
or would have enjoyed the pleasure of
being the outlandish sinner that Won
are, II II hadn't been for women Won
wouldn't have had any railroads or
conductors, or members Of Cougress,
Or ragpickers, or delinquent taxes, or
tight boots, or dirty fngcr-nails, or
gin cocktails, or shirts With buttons
on, or holeless stockings. II il hadn't
been for women"
Pardon me, Miss," said Hank, ebut
business is business, and women Are
women. This train IL going 1t the rate
OF thtrty-five miles an hour, and %
time 10 feeting and money scarce, /
will trouble you to either nav your
faro or get of the train"
"YOu stain upon the escutcheou of
manhood, do you mean to tell mo that
l must get OFT No! By all the gods
and goddesses made sacred to the
hearts Of those glorious Romans, who
OF old, traversed the dreary solitudes
beneath the glittering folds of that
transcendently triumphant banner.
"By George. Mas" urged Hank,
"you must 60. can't help it" And
he pulled the bell.
When the train stopped, the lady
arose % IL to depart. Hank held ont
his hand q though to assist her, and
in twinkling she was pounding him
In the face and pulling his hair in true
Amazonian style. Having no inclina.
ton to strike her, she succeeded in
getting the best Of him, and when the
fair tigress was pulled from her prev.
Hank was heard to observe a. he van.
ished through the doorway in search
Of araw beefsteak to put on one OF
his eyes:
aMiss your reasons for remaining
| In the Car are very striking, indeed.
Ride ~ far As you want to, but when
you intend riding on my train again,
drop me Q postal card, and l will moi
interfere with you. Good byc?"
The young woman reached her des.
tination, and, gratified with the cue.
cess which she has met with thus far
will, probably, ere long, try her pugi
listic science on some other unfortu
nate conductor.
"A Divinity student down In Maine
has been expelled for pocketing $l00
i that did mt hOlnnsv -, hsn. Cswn. sc