Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1875-01-12
II U NJ o R o US.
THE DEAF AUNT AND WIFE.

4 HAD an aunt coming to visit ne for the
hrst time since my marriage, and don't
know what evil genius prompted the wicked
ness which l perpetrated towards my wise an
eisut relation.
My dear" said I to my wife on the day
before my aunts arrival, you know aunt
ldary is coming Tomorrow; WELL forgot to
mention rather annoying circumstance with
regard to her. She is very deaf; although
she can hear my voice, to which she is aecus
toned In lis ordinary tones, yet you will be
obliged to speak extremely loud in order to
be heard. 1t will be rather incouyenicnt but
know you will do anything in your power
to make her stay agreeable.
Mrs. announced her determination to
make herself heard if in her power. then
went to John N, who loves a Joke about
as we'll as any person know of. and told him
to be at my house at P. NJ, the following
evening. and felt comparatively happy
went TO the railroad depot with a carriage
next night, and when I was on my way home
With my aunt, said:
My dear aunt, there is one rather annoy
ing irfrmity that Annie (my wife) has ::
which L forgot to mention before She is
very deaf. and although size can bear my voice
to which she is accustomed in its ordinary
tone. yet you will be Obliged to speak verv
loud in order to be heard. am very sorry
for it,
Aunt Mary in she goodness of her heart
protested that she rather liked speaking loud.
snd to do so would afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove UPON the steps was
ny Wife-in the window was John N,
with a face utterly solemn as if he had
buried his relative that afternoon
al am delighted to see you," shrieked nv
VIfR-anH 20 yo9lT a.
walk started, and my aunt nearly fell down
on the steps
''Kiss NE, my dear" bawIed my aunt and
the windows shook as with the fever and
aqua. | looked at the window-John had
disappeared. Human nature could endure
1t no longer. poked my head into the car
Tlsge and went into strong couvulsions
When entered the parlOr my wife was
helping aunt Mary to take off her ha, and
cape; and there sat John with his face buried
in his handkerchief
Suddenly-"Did you have pleasant Jour-
rey p went off my wife like pistol and
John nearly jumped to his feet
Rather dusty" was the responce in war
Ttoop, and conversation continued
The nsighbors for blocks around must
have heard it. When I was in the third
story OF the buildings heard every word
10 the course of the evening my aunt took
ossssion to say to me:
How loud your wife talks !"
told her deaf persons talked loudly and
that my wits being used to it, was not affec>
ted BY the exsrtion. and that she was getting
en- very nicely with her.
Presently my wife said softly:
"Alf hoy very loud yonr aunt talks -
Eyes. said I, ''all deaf persons do You
are getting along with her finely; she hears
every word you say" And rather think
she did.
Eisted at their success at being understood.
they went hammer and tongs till everything
upon the mantle piece clattered again and
was seriously afraid of a crowd collecting in
frost of the house
But the end was near. Ny aunt being of
81 investigation turn Of mind, was desirnus of
fading out whether the exertion OF talking
was injurious to my wife. So
Doesn't taking so loud strain your lungz!"
said sLs in an uneerthly whoap, for her voice
was not so musical as it WEs when she was
young.
cit is an exsrtion," shrieked my wife
''Then why do you do it," was the an
sEering scream.
"Because-because- you can't hear if I
DON'T" squealed my wife
nat sara my aunt. larry rIVGiIBg
railroad whistle at the time
began 10 think it time to evacuate the
, premises; and looked around and seeing
john gone, stepped into the back parlor and
there lie lay fist on his hsck. with his feet at
right angles with his body rolling from side
to side, with his fist poked into his ribs, and
most agonized expression of counteuance,
but not u'tering 8 sound. I immediately and
fundamentally assumed similar attitude. and
think from the relative position of feet and
heads. and our attempts to restrain our
laughter, npoplexy must inevitably have en-
sued, if a horrible groan which John gave
vent to in his endeavor to suppress his risi
biiity had not BETRAYED cur hiding place.
la rushed my wife and aunt, who by this
time comprehended the joke, and such
seolding a. got I never got before and hone
never to get again.