The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1875-12-03
WHAT THE WITS SAY.

Autumn poets are requested to write o
both sides of the paper; one printer ca
then work while the other commits suicide
~ o. Republican.
Old lace is the object of the latest fash
ionable mania, and the factories are run
ming double time to supply the demand
alabama State Journal.
Halls Journal of Heath says that i
isn't healthy to sleep down stairs. Hote
clerks have long been possessed with th'
same idea.-Boston Globe.
The good and gifted Child attributes th,
fecundity of his obituary muse to the fac
of his having his potatoes cooked with tht
tops on.-Brocklya argus.
Miss Cavendish, the English actress, il
coming, and some one remarks that she ii
/ fiue-cut. Then the critics can puff her Il
they chews.-Norristow Hsyosd. ii
To insure it's success, the next fashion
paper that is started should be called TIL
Closet. A woman can't get too many
closets in her house.-Norristoagn Herald
swearing-off time will be here in ten
weeks more. "Three cigars day fol
| fifty years is" and so forth. But it's a
good thing to swear off.-Azabama State
Journal.
Brooklyn Argus: Charles Francis Adams
received 2,000 votes for Governor of Massa-
chusetts. Sam Bowles voted for him 1893
times, and the other fellow escaped into
Canada.
Prince John, of Schleging- Holstein-san-
daburg- -Gluekborg, arrived in England
Tuesday. The rest of his name will come
over in special car some time next week
Hartford Post.
The American Whip Company of West
field is running on three quarters time
The establishment has been instrumental
in making good many horses run on bet
ter time than that.-Boston Glcbe.
Grumbled Danbury man, stumbling
about in his wood-house the other night:
" Axe gone, saw gone, buck broken and
Chandler in the Cabinet-what's the use
trying to live, anyway ?-Dan6ury Neps.
General Butler has bought gold mine.
This is one of the first results of hard
money triumph. Had Ohio gone for Bill
Allen and rag money Uncle Ben would
have bought paper mill and q printing
ofice.-Bostoa News. ....
This is the kind of weather that makes
the dashing young man wish that instead
of spending dollar and half for that
massive diamond pin last summer, he had
judiciously invested it in q pair of winter
drawers.-Norsoieh Bulletin.
" There is piece of soap in Albany sup
posed to be one hundred years old.'' And
it might lie around loose in the Albany
Legislature and not be used for one hun
dred years more. Who enters there leaves
soap behind. Alabama State Journal.
Stanley is in one sense bringing discredit
upon his native land, for in the heart of
beautiful Africa be has made two discover
les which surpass what we have been wont
to boast. He has found there body of
water larger than Lake Superior and man
with more wives than Brigham Young has.
Detroit Press.
They were talking of death yesterday,
when one man asked:
tWhat were his last words ?''
"He didn't say anything" was the re-
ply.
"That's just like him." said the first man
with an approving nod.' "There was no
gas about him. He was all business
Neps.
1t seems that this is going to be an easy
winter for the poor. There has been de-
cline in the price of back braids; new dol
lar stores are springing up all over the land;
the religious papers are offering every en-
couragement in the way of chromos and an
coral necklace can be bought for
n quarter. With the necessities of life thus
placed within her reach, no true hearted
will complain of the price of coal. |
-Nerwich Bulletin.
"Jennie, you're my sweetheart" said a
nine-year old suitor, as he sat alone with
his hearts idol, the other evening. Chow
can l be your sweetheart ?'' asked the little |
Miss, "whe1l am thirteen years old and
you are only nine." Are you thirteen ?''
of course am.'' "Well, answered the
juvenile beau, after rejecting little, "I'd
y been thirteen, too, if hadn't been sick
80 much when / was little. - Ticks5wrg
Herald.