davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17
Sauelchinl a leual Bully.

There was, five and twouty years
ago. an attorney practicing in court
named Bootpn. Had he boon on the
frontier he would have been either -
blood lettor or an arrant oowarl L
don't know which but horc he was
simply u noisy, coarse grained bully,
and his chief delight was to badger
and bully witnesses of tho opposing
counsel on tho stand.
Ono day "a horse case was on trial
in which BJOton was attorney for tho
defendant. By and b., tine council
Tor the plaintiff cs,lle | u witness who
was supposed to he solbcthin, Of IL
horse doctor. lie WIS n m,Jd!c-'so1,
easy, good -naturcd man. clad iu
home spun. whose bronzcd brow and
hard hands betOkencd sweat and
toll. HIS testimony WAS clear sim-
Pile nnl diroct, made thiuSs look -
little dark for the defendant. ani
when Booton got hold oi him ho
proceeded to cross question HIM IA
nis usuIl brutal manner. Said cross
examination wound UP rather alb
ruptly ~ follows :
"Wrll now, dcnilndcd the counsel.
with tomahawk like flourish, "what
DO you know about n horse anyhow :
10 You really profess to DO u horse
.dDctJrI'
No, sir, not exactly. don't pro-
fesj to be II horse doctor, but lknow
"a good daal about tho nature of tho
beast
That is, said Booton, glarinS first
at the witness and then smiling Mt
the jury, holding graciously ut tho
Court unl sweeping II triumphant
glance over the aulience--'that ~
to say, sir, you know horse from u
jacilrss when you 500 thomi'
"Ah h-ya-as--jcs' so,' returned tho
witness, with impcrturbablo good hu
NOR anl gravity, between the two
beasts should never take you for
the horse"
For once in his life, at least, tho
bully was citcctually squolchod, AMI
auiId the wild roar which followed
he threw himself into his seat, and
allowed tho witness to leave tho
stand.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17

A MAN FROM CoSSEcTIcuT. "A
stranger with no guile in his face and
no oycrcoat ON his shoulders wan
lared into clothing store IN New
port, the other day, aud asked if ho
could be itted with spriug over
coat. Tho proprietor promptly an
swerel in tho Affirmative. YOU
spoak very positively replied tho
stranger II am bigger tlntu YOU
take mo for" The storekeeper was
still confident that he had coats that
would answer. Il am pretty l,eayy
man, said the stranger. Il viii bot
you five dollars that you cant guess
my weight into one numbered pounds.
The man was not particularly large,
and this astounding challenges en-
tirely diverted the seller OF clothing
from the ordinary course OF his busi-
ness. lie took the wager, named
his guess--about q hundred and
sixty pounds-the money was put up
in the hands of n third party, and all
started oil for pair of scales. and
the stranger balanced 300 pounds of
weights. The 1t )reman looked sal
aud puzzled With q smile that was
childlike and bland the stranger took
his money aud walked off without
saying anything more about the
overcoat. II has since been learned
that this mm wears lead jacket,
and has been making IN honest
living by playing his scurvy trick on
unsuspecting dealers in clothing.
lie came from Connscticut.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17
ng-Boyton has successfully GRO.

pD-Boyton has successfully cross
cd the English channel in his life
saving dress. The fact that no tray
els particular distance with this
apparatus is not it's chief value, for
it must bo evident that it would ro-
quire some experience to enable ono
to paddle great distances if wrecked
ON tho ocean, and exhaust strength
that in most instances could be bet
ter used What is required is a life
saving apparatus that will keep the
ship wrecked person aaoat, free from
the soaking salt water, and enable
him to have at least some nourish-
ment. With tho present merchant
and passenger business on the ocean
there is reasonable chance of being
picked up. The points desired are
evidently embraced in Boytons in
vention. or..r assn
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17

An exchange asserts that "there
are 4O,736 lawyers in this afflicted
country Aud they are turning
them upon society, from colleges and
law schools alone, at the ratio OF a
couple thousand a year sNYeil, there's
lots Of upimproyod laad in the far
West, that's one consolation, and
those who fail to achieve success in
the practice Of The law can 20 70
farming.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17
....x.4xx<rAs.--sassu.<.

pS-Many acts of heroism were
performed during tho late terrible
fro at Osceola in this State, A
young man named +, De Beck heard
that woman who had just been
confined was lying helpless in n
shauty in tho woods, across the
creek from Moshannon Mills. The
mill had caught fire and was burn
ing liercoly, There was narrow
passage leading to tho woods be.
tween the mill aud a pool where the
logs woro stored. The logs were
burning evon while they foated in
tho water. Do Beck, with four or
five others, started over this passage
through the flames and smoke,
reached the woman s house, and put
ting herself and children ON an old
sofa. carried them safely out on then
shoulders, Do Bsck's eyes were So
verely burned.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17

SAVING Is WEALTH Ono great
cause of the poverty Of tho present
day, wisely says an exchange, is a
failure OF our common people 10 up
p to small things. They do 10,
+ % how daily addition. be it
c SO small, will soon make large
pile. If tho young men and women
Of to-day will only begin, and begin
now, to save u littlo from thiir earn
iugs and plant it iu tho soil of SOM c
good savings bank, and weekly or
monthly add their mite, they will
wear a happy smile of competence when
thcy reach middle life. Notonly the
desire but the ability to increase 1T
will also grow. Let q trades
man, laborer aud now
and at once, be, ~"
some of your youth,
contingency.
children tf
gin At tt
the strear
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17

"A distressing aociicnt occurred on
one OF the rivers ~ Austria recently. A
ferry boat containing number Of Catholic
pilgrims sunk in tho river Mar 'opPosi'e
the town Of Juienburg, and seventy six o I
the unfortunate people were drowned.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17
ALL SORTS OF PARAGRAPHS.
between two evils choose nsither. |

r
between two evils choose neither. =
r,o and ~ oeovsrv,,inr-,h ,,,,oro
NV 'N " '''>'e o
~" w" 'F'" eo"''"' III '"''' ''''''''
.. 81, "a. Z t.,. Il 81
Down South the people are feasting on
''"'Noe'''s''
The Granger movement Is represented
as being on the decline.
Postmaster Gen eral Jewell is PLAYING
havoc with dishonest mail contractors.
No 80, w,s,o ,;,,o ;,,so,o.s ro,,ro,s
over losses.
If fvounosivo,,r sorvonis ttno,, vour
onnirs ibcy viii one Jav rcnd You,
.,,,hor ~ ,sdv oa,,or, w;u o,,ora
,I,o s,a,o onnyon,;on a, yt,,;r, nov, ,non,h
burc on = ob,rse Of s,oaii9u n ioenmo,ivc
= =.
The importa'ion OF potatoes into Porto
ro,.,o h,,. =
In Kansas the farmers plant and
the harvest. = =
-, c,,.
10y uN VI "'uG yIy ~ Nv
female college.
~, a., ~ ,
"a, ''n's' ~ III, -.
.T ~"
,,,. Witt,
r.. - 80, ssn ~, 10 i
.,; 'V' ''''
'''' "o''
vi ~. WI, ~, aad ,,r r,,r,
s f'"P
Among the shipments from Inliauapo-
~ y, ,Ii hoo,a ~
What is the difference between belle
aud u burglar The belle carries false
''eAs' anu Tue o"'s'" '"''' "ey''
In one part Of Norway the longest day
is three months. What n splendid chance
for lazy man TO start a daily paper.
About loo, ono Spanish troops have
been sent to Cuba in the last six years,
and most OF them are now in the grave.
a, ,-; .u;. .,,, ,
AZ Nnlss'pn hpo.'"s n'"'1" :, :,
ankle" bclo % so many ladies'.
Tine higgest iumoer rNt ever seen on
the Mississippi river was iowei down ne
other day IL comprised over m'iiion
John Rouse, colored. NJ the last ses.
sion OF tho court IN Beitori,wa. admitted
TO practice law IN the several courts oi
mat county
Almost any substance. such M soil,
sand or chip dirt, is good to sIread on
grass land ms top dressing, II yeur land
Is low or mat and not too wet.
Il, il in vain N bonc N p,ease a,, nike
Let man stand with his face ib what di-
rection he will, he must necessarily turn
his back on one halt OF the world.
Tho will NJ The Ia,s Jobn H. Towne of
PbilaLeIobi, will receive S3oo. 600 i'm
media'eiy' and as mucn more "''er TINE
The farm owned by George Grant,
founder OF tue ',a''rls colony, i h'n'as' Is
zoe ssa, "n,,n ,n '"e "o.,n ,,inins XIX soo
acres.
r, ..,e..u,..on,, H., una.o, ,,,i.
wear are ire u an unnrecedsn,ed success Al one
point. the other day, the fishermen took
i, ooo in twelve hours, where u few years
ago 600 was considered large haul.
The sons of the distinguished Stephen
A.Douglass are in luck by the recent decls'
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17

The production Of poultry in the
United States is not less than 250,-
000,0O0 pounds annually, worth S5,-
100000, and eggs worth rs much
more
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17

Tho grasshoppsrs' have. laniel IN
Illinois aud u loud CRY Of alarm is
waited on the b,vezu.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17

Snow two feet in depth il report
ed in the backwoods VI tho Ottawa
district OF Canada s,
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17
- elc ct Tale
THE HUSBANDS LESSON.

The ringing of the door bell has n
pleasant sound to me, moro plrticu-
larly in my idle moods Like an IN.
opened letter, there is mystery
about it, and one waits with pleas.
urable excitement to see who or what
is coming.
Returning homo one day earlier
than usual. l found that my wife had
gone out; and while idly waiting her
return the door rbell rang. | waited
expectant until Mary appeared wish
"a note. containining request from
my old friend, George l.. -, to ride
ont to his residence in the country
the next day, and to bring my wife
with mo. / was much pleascd not
50 much on account of any pleasure
which it might give my wife, but be-
cause l thought ! needed days re
creation, and, in the lovely summer
time, the country has peculiar charms
for me.
But the next morning everything
seemed TO go wrong. Alice could
not accompany me, and could not
get off as early as wished conse.
quently Twas fretful aud peevish, and
Alice seemed TO reflect my humor,
for she never seemed to be so un-
amiabla. At length, however,
drove away, though not in very
pleasant mood. 1t was a lovely day;
and as | rode along, noting the
beauties of the landscape, my memo
ry went back unbidden to the time
when wooed and won my bride.
How lovely Alice was then But
that was long ago. No; is it possi-
bic, we have been married only three
years ?, And / felt a sharp pang, as
I oontrasted the past with the pres
o. Z, think that we could settle
{ into the commonplace life we
ad.
had no serious trouble; we did
NJ luarrel; though when l felt cross,
or things did not suit mo, l took no
pains to conceal it, and often spoke
harshly to Alice, who sometimes re-
piled in the same spirit, and some
times with tears. Yet we were
generally good friends. Still, the
charm. the tenderness OF our early
love had imperceptibly vanished. I
had become careless about my per-
sonal appearance at home and Alice
WAS almost equally negligent Her
beautiful brown hair, which she used
to wear in the most becoming curls
was now usually brushed plainly be
hind her cars, unless she was going
out or expected company.
/ dismissed the subject with sigh
as l drew up at my friends gate,
with the reflection that it was the
same with all married people-must
be so, in fact; for how could romance
and sentiment find a place among SO
many prosy realities? L Isuppose we
were as happy as anybody; and yet
it. was not the kind of life that / had
looked forward to with 80 many
bright anticipations. 'a ssNs@
~ friend greeted me with great
y. In the hall wo met Mrs.
oking g. lovely in
49, with her
She re-
ringing
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17
HOW Err,

WI u II II TItD IT'I W wv,
~ ATTORNEY At LAW,
Selinsgrove Pa,
OHers his professional services 10 the pub
lie. Collections and all other professionn
business entrusted to his care will re-
ceive prompt attention. Office two DOOR
north of the Keystone Hotel. Jan o, '61
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17

oking ." lovely in
~"' with her
She re-
ringing
:. few min
~ while my
library, AS
notioed q vase
table, impart
aeerfulness to
do some re-
my friend
a. stf
flowers,
tho house,
here, my
them on
out into
,uits ex-
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1875-06-17

An Atchison, Kansas, girl ate foui
pounds Of wedding cake in order that she
might dream Of her future husband and
now she says that money wouldn't hire
her to marry the maa she saw in thai
dream.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-03-10
Didn't want n Coffin.

He came into the Office OF n
West End undertaken with look
of great care on his face. His eyes
were heavy and slightly bloodshot,
telling OF mighty vigils and loss of
sleep. His hair was unlxcpt and
shaggy. The soft hearted man of
collins looked npon his visitor with
a gaze full of pity and thankful
ness-pity for the customers loss,
and thankfulness for his patronage.
He was so young TO be burdened
with the loss Of dear Que by death.
The manufacturer Of burial cases
nodded a silent assent and consol-
ing recognition; the young man
from the country said: "How
-d'yei" Then ensued a painful ST.
.lence, broken at length-by tho man
Of grave business. - -
"Can. I do anything for you to-
day. swf trsf1 t-.7
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-03-10
Science Of Advertising.

From tho Chicago Specimen.
The press of the country has,
from time immemorial, been din
ming into the ears OF the public
particularly the trading and traffic
ing portion-tho Importance Of
publishing to tho world tho pecu-
liar advantages each has to offer to
customers. Some Of the moro con-
sentative, deseanting upon the sub
ject in an advisory, or admonitory
way, have introduced a qualifying
word that misleads many. Judic-
ious advertis ng is what brings in
the golden harvest. We say this
word "judicious" misleads, simply
because those who are to he bene-
fitted do not comprehend its proper
meaning. Tho newspapers should
never tire in explaining to their
patrons what is meant by judic-
ious. as distinguished from indis-
criminate advertising.
There are many business men
who display more than average
ability in every other branch of
their callings, but who have the
faintest possible comprehension of
the science of advertising. When
disposed to advertise literally, they
do not know where to commence
nor where to leave of. The pru-
dental suggestion, to advertise
judiciously," leads them to curtail
the amount, rather than to exer-
else sound judgment as to WHAT to
advertise and the channels through
which the fame of their wares is to
be blazoned. This, we think, is
mistake. If merchant, mauufac-
turer, inventor or tradesman Of
any sort has anything to sell, and
has the ability to keep up with the
demand that may be created by the
most extensive advertising, he can
not make the fact too widely
known. or course, it is essential
that when he has succeeded in at
tracing attention he should not
disappoint the expectations raised
by his advertisements.
We have known rival houses do
ing business in the came place,
dealing with the same customers,
and purchasing in the same mar
kets, one of whom advertised Law
ishly, and the other was almost
niggar dly in his OUTLAWS in this di-
rection. The former failed, and
and the latter succeeded in bust
ness. This would seem to condemn
advertising as a manner of attract
ing custom, but IT is not true. The
fact was that the advertising had
It's effect. II drew fiocks of Gus
toners from abroad, and made the
house widely known. But the 9TH
err branches Of its business were so
negligently managed, that it was
unable to supply the customers at
trscted from abroad, and il subse-
onently drifted 70 the rival estab-
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-03-10
(Co',tiaved from First Po9e,)
the porch and empted their revolt

(Con,iaved from First Poge,)
the porch and empted their revol
vers in his direction. Crack
crack! crack went the repeatcrs
Bang bang bang went the doubl,
barrcled shot-guns.
The Dutch landlord crawled under
the bar.
The inhabitants of the village
awakened by the din, and seeing
the flashes Of the revolvers anG
guns in the streets, made up their
minds that the vasquez gang had
come back to avenge their com
rades slain at the last raid. Then,
through the darkness, fitting like
shadows, through back lots came
figures Of men armed to the teeth.
and advancing in the direction of
the hotel, while the muflled shriels
of women and walls of children in
the scattered houses mingled with
the bowls, curses and shots OF the
vaqueros.
Lights were procured up stairs
and such a party Of scared circus
men wero never seen before or
since, while on the floor lay the
huge tarantula embodied night
mare, which caused their terror,
stupid from the close all of the jar
in which it had been confined for
hours, and neither moving head
nor leg. There were several mus
kets stored in the attic in readiness
for another of the Vasquez raids,
and the circus men, who could not
overcome their terror, took the
weapons and fred o volley a. the
hideous object.
ms was the last straw that broke /
the camels back. Mr.. Phuerman,
who had only partially recovered
from his .fiight, tainted clear away,
and when brought to with a buck
ct of water, calculated feebly:
"Yaw, mine trent, I hold mine
hauts up"
The next day he sold his interest
in the hotel, and departed for civ
ilization. The naturalist was never
seen nor heard Of afterward.
~ tell you, it will be along time
before those circus men or myself
will forget that night of terror. with
the tarantula of San Joaquin valley.
l guess III bid you good night,
gentlemen"
And Mr.. Austin finished bis pale
ME, and departed for home, leaving
bis audience very favorahly i'm
pressed with his graphic ability as
> story-teiler.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-03-10

A Methodist Clergyman, about
to preach in an out-of-the-way
town in. California, was warned
that If he said anything disagreea-
bic the "roughs" would make
trouble. He assembled the pulpit,
took a couple of revolvers from his
pockets, and laying on on each
side of the bible, looked fearlessly
around the congregation, and sail:
"Let us pray" A more orderly
service was never conducted.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-03-10
Tie Norwich Advertiser saws

Tie Norwich Advertiser says -
A young lady, very pretty, walked
round the new road (seven miles) in
one hour and forty-tive minutes.--
We remember escorting her round
the road once by moonlight. Time
-four hours and forty-flve minutes.
But then, she wasn't in hurry
The old folks had gone to camp
meeting.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-03-10

The growth of the Granger Order
throughout the South is remark
able. In Alabama there are now
reported GIL Oranges, with $4,000
members; in Florida, 10S Oranges,
with $500 members: in Arkansas.
52l Oranges, with $1,000 members !;
while in the other States there are
also numerous lodges with large
memberships.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-03-10

A gentleman, while walking in
his garden, caught his gardner
asleep under a tree. He scolded
him soundly for his lazyness, and
ended by telliIg him such a slug
gard was not WORTHY to enjoy the
light of the sun. at was for that
reason exactly" said the gardner,
shat | crept into the shade"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-03-10
"Wall.I reelxin' 80. stranger

| AVAIL, / reckin' SO, stranger
; Another silence. Once more tn
undertaken begun by suggesting
"Your sister p
, Young man staggered moment
then, as a light gradually brok
upon his perplexed mind, he smiles
a'smile more suggestive Of sorrow
than happiness, and replied:
"No-my wife,"
Suddenly r.
"No-expected su'thun' of the
kind for several months"
"When did it happenl"
"Bout 4 o'clock this morning"
"LoOks natural r.
Rather Spoken carefully,
and expressive Of some doubt)
"About what do you want the
cost of it to be p
Don't care for expense; get it
up kinder nice. I'll treat her hand
sum, cause she is tho fiji st one
ever had"
Every viii, my friend; you'll
have it lined with white satin, l
suppose %
Just as You say, stranger"
"Silver-headed screws, too, Isup-
pose 2"
"Y-a-s, / s'pose so. And, strang-
er, Jest put bully top on it."
ooh, of course and you'll want
a glass in it, also, l suppose"
"Y-a-s-oh, certainly-you bet.
Git her up sniptaous, you know,
old fellow. None of your drafted
one-hoss fixins forme. No, Stree"
Gust so. Silver handles, Of
course"
"Ehl What's that you say,
strangcr-silvcr hardest Oh,
durn it, now, won't that be pilin' it
on too hefty likel / kin stand sill
yer screws, and sich, but there's no
use maxim the hull tarnation trap
Of silver. The thing has to he
and must have handles, but
amt poite so stuck up as that,
new, not quite, stranger"
Every WE'LL" acquiesced the man
If obsequies. "l'll put ordinary
handles to it, then"
"Eggs-actly-them's 'um. mister.
Now yer talkin'. Urinary handles
Il do. Bot, I say, stranger, ire
lectively), mako the wheels shine
Ike thunder
"Wh-wh-wh-o els y
"Ias, wheels. What's the matter
With you, anyhow p
"But who ever heard of wheels
o a coffin ~
"Cofiin - shrieked the detected
cooking young man. "Coflin -
Vow, who in the dickens said any,
hing about collins ?"
"Why, don't you want q coffin I"
"Nn-o. l want cradlc-a trap
o rock my new baby in"
"And amt your wife deadT"
"Not by n jugful. Don't yer
make cradles for salel"
"No, my friend, l am an UNDER
llzer."
"Undertaker OF whatp
81 make collins"
ooh, Lord, let me ketch the Teller
hat sent me here"
And the grief-striclen youth
rammed his hat over his eyes, ran
is hands deep down into his pocl1-
Is, and bounced out on the street
for vengeance.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-03-10

A Philadelphia man says that
when his wife gets mp in the MORN
ing with jerk, and neglectipg to
do up her hair. goes silently about
her work, she is materializing n
domestic row. which. before night,
will shake the house to it's founda-
ticp.