The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1875-03-05
VARIETIES.

A Kentucky paper speaks of q man
VINO had narrow escape from q sun stroke,
he having stood only too feet from man
who was struck.
"A Nevada man Who had seven home
ly daughters got paper to hint that he
had seven kegs filed with gold in his eel
lar, and every girl was married in five
months.
"A rustic moralist- Rector going his
rounds-"An uncommon fine pig, Mr.. Dib-
bles, l DECLARE" Contemplating villager
-"Ah, yes, sir, if we was only, all of us,
as fit to die as him, sir"
The Georgia negro has no faith in
banks. He lays out his money in store
CLOTHES and the news Of Il bank suspension
causes him to eXclaim: "Bust away, but
you can't hurt desc lavender pants"
Readers, attend whether thy sonl
Scars fancy's flight beyond the pole,
Or darkling grubs his earthly hole
In low pursuit,
Know, prudent, curious ScIt.coatrcl
Is wisdom's root.
-Petersham has produced an auction
eer who tells the truth. He recently told
the bidder: "You'vr got good bargain
on that sleigh you bid off for $3.50. It is
just as good for the Eens to roost on as one
that costs 500"
"A Montana editor bemoans the calami-
ties OF 1874, in the following touching
strain: First, that Beecher business, then
the grasshoppers, then the Democratic VIC
tories, and now an increased tax on whis-
key. What is the poor country coming
tor
"A would-be school teacher in Toledo
recently replied to question by one of the
examiners: "Do you think the world is
round or iiat?" by saying: "Well, some
people think one way and some another,
and I'll teach round or fiat Just as the pa
rents please"
An Englishman. visiting the White
Mountains, complained of the excessive
hilliness of the country in all that region,
wherein the Yankee staged driver remark
ed, "Waal, yes, we heo rather too much land
to the acre, about here, and go ace heo to
stack I'll"
"A lady Of great beauty and attractive
ness, who was an ardent admirer of Ireland,
once crowned her praises of it at q party
by saying, 81 think l was meant for an
Irishwoman." Gross the channel. mad
am remarked Samuel Lover, the novelist,
who happened to he present, "millions
will say you were meant for an Irishman."
Iii! Samuel, has you moved yit Z" in
CURED one colored man of another whom
he met at market yesterday. mo, Use
still in de old place." was the answer.
But war told dat you war gwine to get
out OBJ de neighborhond,n continued the
first "Wall, did make up my mind to,
but you see de family next door and de
family on de corner, and de family cross de
street, have left dcre wood piles out doors,
and l doesn't desire to change"
Some people imagine that Mark Twain
is exceedingly smart We knew him when
he was grinding plattudes for the Virginia
Enterprise, and he was II VIGOROUSLY lazy
grinder. lie would sit at his editorial Ia
Die for hours, drumming on cracked gui-
tar, while the compositions were waiting
Tor copy, and when reminded of his duty
by the foreman, would say: ''This work
ing between meals is killing met" And he
was the healthiest man in the Territory
Oakland TriJunc.
"A young Partisan Of wealth, who had
been playing heavily at his club, where he
had lost his last sou, while strolling home.
ward early the othermnrning was accosted
by beggar. "a little charity, if you
please"
~ have no money" was the reply.
"Give me only small piece OF money"
~ haven't farthing," said our young
friend.
The beggar still persecnted him, and he
lost his temper.
"Listen," said he to the beggar, "you can
feel my pocket, provided you agree to take
what have, and let me take what money
You have with you"
The beggar did not dare to take up the
offer and hobbled off.