The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1875-11-06
VARIETY.

Sarah, you're a good gall, but there amt no
pal R-Roing 10 call for two plates of ice cream
me and keep me for her feller," were the closing
remarks Of young gentleman upon parting with
his inamorata-
'sThe child has died since, . says Pennsylvania
paper after giving account Of q twelVe-year-old
girl who had already mastered logic, rhetoric,
geology, botany and the mysteries OF mental and
moral science. e. esr
There was recently formed in st. Petersburg
society Of ladies who have renounced the use OF
silk dresses and every other kind Of expensive at
tire i'm order to employ the money 50 saVeG in the
education Of poor orphans.
divorce in Grant county, Wisconsin, was re-
Gently applied for because the young mother insis
ted on having O SIS cradle. GA Eastwood sap
trough is good enough for that little red-faced
yagabond, /" said brutal husband.
A country girl near Utica a few days ago mis-
took the meaning of a young man who was look
ing up pickers for his fathers hopyard, and when
asked If she was engaged, sweetly said, IS Not
yet, but always thought it would be pleasant"
The young man rode home quickly, and dreamed
all night of breach of promise trials.
USAHRIDoKD.-Two colored citizens Saturday
had little trouble the Postof6ce cornor. ' Sir,
l stigumtize you as a falsehoodfer!" exclaimed
the first. I" And you, sir, are cantering hip
pelcritel =" replied the second All talk away"
growled the first 81 blt my character is above dis
proach.' And your Influences don't detach
from my reputation one Iowa!" growled the
other. And thus they parted.-DetroH Free
Press. -
FoREwARNED, FoREARaED-( Our reporter before
dinner)- Beg pardon, my Lord, but could your
Lordship kindly oblige me by giving me hint
as to What your LoFdship is going to say in reply
70 the Duke when his Grace proposes your Lord
ships health?'' His Lordship-'' How L tell
you what I'm going to say until I've heard what
- A. az w-zAN.
your LordsEip with what his Grace is going to
say I've got tit all in my pocket. ."-Panch.
A Philadelphia milllner apprentice went to
visit her mother in the country last Sunday, and
when that worthy matron beheld her child she
exclaimed " Isabel Marie Stevens, what on airth
DO You mean, coming out in broad daylight with
YOUR gown all kajummuxed up in a heap behind
We, and all bound in that way IN front of ye?
And hain't ye got no stockings all of one color,
that We haf to wear them zebra-colored things?
Thought ye was going to be milliner. Sh'd
think ye'd married a barber, and war playin' up
signboard for him. Did ever think one of my
girls would come to thsi
The editor OF the Dresden Doings is rather
absent-minded He held the position of local on
the St AIbans Pioneer several years ago, and was
alone in the Office writing up some items one morn
ing, when q stranger came in and presented a
scrap Of paper with these words scrawied awk-
wardly, - am dumb and deaf, and have nothing
TO puy Dreaui can you help me! neelinS
glanced at is, looked up, then out of the window,
trying to recall a local item. "How long have
you been that way?'' he asked, little absently.
About ten years. said the dumb man, thrown
of his guard. The local instantly resumed his
labOrs and the medicant did not persist.
Twas making cake one day, preparing for COM
pany and the monkey followed me into the PAN
try and watched everything did. Unfortunately
dinner was announced in the midst of my work,
and left it, making him 60 out, rather against
his will. l knew him too well to trust him in
the pantry alone. After dinner / returned to my
cookery. Having carefully locked the door was
surprised to see my pet there before me. His
attitude was ominous; be on the top of the bar
rel two-thirds full Of flour and busily occupied.
He had got hold of my egg box, broken two or
,,ihree doLen smashing them into the hour barrel,
,ssith all the sugar within reach These be was
ssigorously beating into the -four, shells and all,
stopping now and ZEN to take taste, with a
countenance as grsZt as judges. In my dis
>aunay and grief c1ad not scold him; yet, to see
,r-7x ma tsrislssAa4s up, and we living in the
country, ana guests coming! He had the most
satisfied air, as if he meant, Look the main
operations of the party are now over" ! had
forgotten the broken pane Of glass in the window.