Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-09-24
GIeanings.

1t is consoling to an ugly man to have =
charitable lady tell him he is not so bad
as he looks.
| Kelley, the new motor man, says he
will be ready in about month to ring the
funeral chimes of steam. So motor be.
Be careful how you insult your ac-
quaintances on postal cards A Brooklyn
man has given 800 bail to answer just
such charge.
A North Carolina boy started out three
years ago to explore cave, and as he /.
hasn't returned yet it is believed that R
liked the place. III
Milwaukee News: More peopys1<~r
drowned this year than ever before, and
yet it cannot be attributed to greater
fondness among the people for water.
A dyspeptic at the Virginia sulphur
springs hung himself the other day, loar-
ing a note beSind, which read: 'It is .
mighty good joke on dyspepsia" And 50
it was.
"Who will care for mother now?"
sighed Carondelet girl the other day as
she left her aged parent bending over the
washtub while she started out to play
croquct.
A panther seven feet long is skulking
around the White Mountain House, look
ing for some young lady with pull-back
dress on. He means to be fashionable in
his provender.
Cincinnati is to have $4,000 organ.
Weep, Boston, weep" remarks the New
York Commercial Adgertiser Boston
says, however, "Not tear Remember
Bunker Hill"
A Norfolk man went down in diving
bell the other day to see how it seemed
The public will never know from him
how it seemed, as they drew him up only
to bury him.
A medium who arrived in Dubuque
short time ago, has performed the remark
able feat of rendering himself invisible,
much to the regret of his landlady and
washwoman.
Peter B. Sweeney, was once principally
known as Brains" and if he finds his
way to New York within the century it
will be generally believed that he lost his
title in Paris.
A lady of New York, Miss Alvord, has
secured n patent for a new coalcart which
is provided with flexible spout to dis
charge its contents directly into the coal
hole, and not upon the sidewalk.
A New Orleans paper says that the
coming cotton crop will number 2, 2,650,021
bales. When an editor can figure crop
down as fine as that he'll soon be ready to
carefully estimate the sand on the sea
shore.
The Brooklyn Argus, after months Of
careful observation, has come to the con-
clusion that no woman can eat corn-beef
and potatoes gracefully, and when it
comes to boiled cabbage they break right
down.
4 Chinese young lady is an applicant
for teachers place in one of the public
schools of San Francisco, thinking, prop
erly, no doubt, that she can 'snatchee
small boy ba-headed alice same Mclean
girl.
The question has arisen in Chicago:
Does woman ever strike at a fly with
out closing her cyes:" She never does
we all know it; but she'll sweep that
broomstick through the air at her beloved
husband and never wink either optic.
How strange" said Mrs. Spllkins the
other day 'Leander has only sent me a
single line since he left for Long Branch"
"Only Il single line, ma, remarked the
youthful Miltiades, who is studying geom-
ctry; THAT is something without paral-
lel."
A fashionable visitor thus addressed
little girl; "How do you do, my little
dear:" Very will, l thank you," she re-
piled. The visitor then added: Now,
my dear, you must ask me how do."-
The child honestly replied, Il don't want
to know"
1t is nice thing to be moderator of the
Established Scotch Presbyterian Church.
He gets $1,000 PIN money for entertain
ments. Each morning during the session
of the assembly he is expected to give a
public breakfast besides grand enter
tainment at the close
Imaginary evils soon become real ones
by indulging our reflections on them; as
he who in melancholy fancy sees some
thing like face on the wall or wainscot
can, by two or three touches with lead
pencil, make it look visible and agreeing
with what he fancied.
A fashionable dressed young lady walk
ing by Broadway bridge yesterday, was
pulled back to some purpose. She was
looking back to see how wide the ribbons
were on another girls bonnet, and came
with foot of walking off into the river.
She was pulled back by policeman.
A new machine for pressing coal-dust
into fuel was recently put into operation
at Harrisburg (Pa.) machine shops, and a
ton of solid coal was made in six minutes.
The machine is simple and universally
practicable, and it is prophesied that it
will add millions of dollars to the coal
wealth of Pennsylvania
To the question how to keep teachers
bright, an educated contemporary answers:
The isolated teacher becomes a FOSSIL
He needs to come in contact with men of
progress. Association, mental conflict,
observation, comparison these are the
conditions of professional growth. Each
teacher needs the experience of all teach
erS.
Sheridan once told story of the ex-
quisite good breeding of a bankers clerk
of whom the wit had borrowed some
money, and to whom he actually repaid
it. Didn't he look astonished?" asked .
discourteous friend. No" said Sheridan;
''he was just going to look astonished,
when he remembered his manners, and
swept away the money rs unconcernedly
as if he had not given up any idea of Sec
ing it again
Druggists who sell citrate of magnesia
would do well to pay strict heed to the re-
cent decision of the Commissioner of In
ternal Revenue who says: 1.-The medicine
is official, but it is put up in style or
manner similar to that of patent or propri
etary medicines in general, having direc-
tions for its use printed on the label and
without the formula by which it is made
being either printed or referred to on the
label, and consequently in the opinion of
this office is liable to stamp tax.
Alexander Dumas, the younger, when
student in the Latin quarter, desired to
make good rcpast with a companion,
but found on consulting his purse that it
contained only six francs. wait" said
he to his companion, "while l run up
stairs and borrow five more from my
father, and with the ten we shall dine
like princes" "Wcll," said the waiting
man IN his retnrN tthave Won unf tho