The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1875-03-03
General News.

The Beecher-Tilton literature has in.
! jured the sale of comic almanacs this
year.
Brigham Young has sufficiently re-
covered to sit up and get married occa.
sionally.
William Knabe, of Iowa, recently
died of fright, when told that his house
was on fire.
A Nevada editor gravely announces
that he never can write huidly until he's
had glass or two of whisky.
A Nevada man who had seven homely
daughters, got paper to hint that he
had seven kegs filed with gold in his
cellar, and every girl was married in five
months.
Tom. Norriel killed Levi Moore a few
days ago. Both of Laurel county. Nor
riel is Deputy Sheriff and attempted to
arrest Moore for some cause when Moore
resisted Norriel surrendered himself.
The Mountain (hentUcky) Echo
They tried to scare man in Missouri
by threatening to tar and feather him,
but he replied. Come on with your old
tar; I've been there six times, and Two
got receipt for washing it off"
A Boston man has died and left two
hundred dollars to Universalist church.
It weuld do an old-fashioned Methodist
preacher good to tell revival conerega.
tion just what has become of this man.
A letter passed through the Detroit
post-office the other day, bearing the fol-
lowing superscription: ITO the Fat
Kuss what eddits the Pontyac weekly
Gazette, and send me dunnin letter In a
envelope he stolej Pontyac, Michigan" "
It's truly Astonishing how the papers,
while they persist in charging a man
dollar an inch for advertising when Iiv.
ing, checrfully give up a whole column
of space for nothing when his obituary
comes along -SNnday Times.
An Iowa newspaper proclaims itself
an honest newspaper, and in another
paragraph says: "When man processes
honesty nowadays, keep your eyes peeled
for thief. ''.ra "a of
"A Clarksville man. has written a life
of the devil The last three chapters
comprises ten years biography. of his
mother-fn-law.
And now they say William Penn would
sit down under tree with Indians
about him, and, telling them of the bet
ter world beyond the sea, deal himself
four aces. and win the game.
"A co1ored gentleman went 20 consult
one of the most ''high-toned" lawyers In
Boston, and after stating his case said:
Now knows you's a lawyer, boss; but
/ wish you would please, sar jiss tell
me the truff bout dat matter"
f.Now then" said physician, cheer
lily to patient, syou have got along
far enough to indulge in little animal
food, and No you don't. Doctor, /"
interrupted the patient; I've suffered
enough on your Cruel and slopa, and I'd
starve sooner than begin on hay and
oats "oa
stranger, viii you try hand Wits
Us az poker?'' Thank you, gentlemen.
but there are seventeen reasons why I
cannot accommodate you now" "sev-
enteen reasons for not playing cards?n
Pray, what are theyf'' Why the firsf
IL ] haven't any money" 'stopi thassl
enough; never mind the other sixteen. n
"a near sighted man was riding in Al
woodward avenue car the other day,
when a lady opposite bowed 20 him. He
returned the bow, raised his hat, smiled
sweetly, and was just wondering who
ahe was, when ahe came over and whisp-
ere1 II his ear: "Oh I'll fix you for
thia, old manl" Then he knew il was
lis wife .-DstToff Pres.