The enquirer southerner., 1875-01-15
NY DEAF WIFE AND AUNT.

pfOupLeu tue WlCkeoNeoS "Hion
perpetrated toward my wife and
ancient relation.
My decr,' said I to my wife, on
the day before my aunt's arrival,
syou know Aunt Mary is coming
tomorrow. Well, I forgot to men
ton a very annoying circumstance
with regard to her; she is vely
deaf, and although she can hear
my voice, yet you will be obliged to
speak extremely loud in order to be
heard. 1t will be rather inconven..
lent but | know you will do every
thing in your power to make her
visit agrccable.' Mrs. Opie en-
nounccd her determination to make
herself heard if in her power.
l then went to John N-,who
loves a joke about as well as any
person 1 know o., and told him to
be in the house the rext evening at
6 p. M, and felt compare lively
happy.
l went to the railroad depot with
a calr;age next night. and when |
was on my wey lone with my aunt
| sale, My dear aunt, there is one
rather annoy; ;ng in1i nifty that An
ME (my wife) has, which | forgoato
mention before. She is very deaf,
and although she can hear nay voice,
to which she has become accustom>
ed in its ordinary tones, yet you
will be obliged to speak extremely
loud in orGer to be heard. | om
worry sorry for ii.
Aunt NJ -.y, in the goodness ot
her hear. pro:cs ed that she rather
liked speaking loud, and to do SC
would afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove up; on the
steps was nv "; e in the window
WIS John n, with a face as
utterly solemn IS if he he'd bnliet
his reI2:ives That afternoon. i
am delighted % see you,' shliekec
my wife, and the policemen on the
opposite side of The street wss star
tied, ard mY aInt fell dowl the
steps.
Kiss NE my deSr,' bawleG my
aunt, anc, the windows shook q
with fever and ague. ] looked al
the window. John had dis ppear
ed. Human n.ture could s;end j
TO longet. Ipoked nv head int>
the cal riase and went mo strong
convulsons.
: When l went into the parlor m,
wife was holding Aunt Mary t
take of her hat End cape: and thc~
sat John with bis face buried in hi
handkerchief.
| Did you have a pie3s2nt ioar
new? suddenly went OF nv wiz
like a pistol, and John nearly jump
ed to his feet.
'Rather dusty, was The response
in a war-whoop, and the converse
tion continued.
The neighbors, for blocks around
| must have heard it. When va
in the third story OF the buildingS
heerd eva ary word. d,
In the course Of the evening 10
aunt took occasion 10 say 20 me
, How loud your wife talks.
told her that deaf persons talk
ed loudly, and that nv wife, bein;
, used to II was no5 affected by th,
excrtioo, ana hat she was gettln
along finely with her.
, Presently my wife ssid softly
' Al, how very loud your aun
t talks !!
YES soil /, 'aR deaf person
do. You are getting along wit
l her finely; she hears every wor
you saE- And Jrather think sh
did.
E&altcd at lheir success Of beiD
, understood, tDev went ct /: hamme
? and tom, .iII everything on tn
; man.Ie~piecc ciatfeted again, and
! was seriously arroii Of crowd col
lecting in front OF the house.
But the end was ncar. My aunt
beng Of an inventive iun of mind
was desi.ous Of tiadiog out whcthe
the e%ertion oftylking Was iniuiiou
20 my wife So Doesn't talking s.
: loud sJra,n your lungs ?: she said il
an unearthly whoop, for her voic
, w3s not as musical as it was whe,
she Was young.
; 1t is an exertion,' sbrieI;ed m
y wife.
y Then why do you 90 ~ wa
the answering scream.
: Because-becouse>yon con't hea
if | dor':.
i Whaoi exclaimed nv aunt, r;
vaiing a roi'road whistle this time
: I began to tnink it time to evsc
n'*o the premises; and lookin
a'ouod 9nd seeing John gone
. stepped i"to 5ne back na.lor, an
= there lie i#y n1i or his back wit
! BIS feet at ri4ht aog'es With ri
body, ro'li1g from side to side wit
, bis fist poked iu'o his ribs, nd
most agoniIing expression Of :our
ten"ncc, but not ut5ering ~ ouno
: | immedi"teIv aod unyolAI tariI
e assumed a s;mlar pozitions4 and
n think, nrom the relptive pcebf fion
y our feeV and heans, end agc ag r a
1 temps to !e.>-ain our ortgbg. {
apo2}eSy must jnevit2 bly, .asg.e I've el
sued, if a horrible groeBy Jwhie
= John gave vent TO n bis sg -leav