The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1875-08-05
MISCELLANEOUS.


treasurer of a st. Louis base ball club.
An Astronomer can discover more
wonderful things with one eye than
most men can with two.
The rooster ON top of the liberty pole
says he'll be scorched if he stands this
heat any longer.
The immense cannon now being con-
str1cted at Woolwich, Eng, will cost
the British Government 81, 100000.
A tourist who was asked in what part
of Switzerland he felt the heat the most,
replied "when was going to Berne."
1t is not so extraordinary that Nebu-
chadnezzar lived on grass. We know of
hundreds upon hundreds who live on
the turf.
So Spinner, after handling hundreds
of millions, comes out 81 ahead. Frame
that bill, General, and hang it up for
your posterity to be proud of.
A farmer in Charlton found a way to
make balky horse go. He took him to a
strange town and put him up at auction.
He went for $50.
A boy, named Levi, ate ten baskets of
strawberries yesterday on wager
Baltimore paper. Well wager it didn't
Levi ate his condition much.
Chinese is to be taught at Boston
normal school. The girls are determin-
ed to be no longer Ignorant of what is
written on fire cracker packs and tea
chests.
1--WE al have our crosses" sighed
Cardinal McClosky, as he mournfully
pinned on that $4,000 diamond, one
the st. Vincent pupils thrust upon him.
The Sentinel pathetically sings,
"'Tis sweet to wait but oh, bitter,
To wait for a girl and then not git err
Lizzie, aren't you going to church
this morning. ''No, dear, the pews
are so narrow, you know, and couldn't
think of going without my bustle," and
she did-not go.
The couple married in balloon to ad-
vertise Barnum's show didn't live togeth-
er three weeks.-E1chaaage Another
instance of the result of-njudicious adj
vertising.
The Indianapolis News has found out
how the sex of that man i'll Europe who
went about in woman's clothes was dis
covered. "He inadvertently said thank
you,' when q gentleman gave up his
seat in street car.
Mistress you go to evening
school, Mary! Why I thought you
could read?" "Well, ma'am, I does
know my letters fus rate so longs they
keep all in a row, but just as soon as
they gifts mixed up into words, Tn beat. !"
sect out of the way! what are you
good for?" said cross old man to lit
tie bright-eyed urchin, who happened to
stand in his way. The little fellow as
he stepped one side, replied very gently:
''They make men of such things as we
are"
Arustic couple, newly married, march
ed into drug stoI2 and called for soda
water. The obliging clerk inquired
what syrup they would have in it, when
the swain, deliberately leaning over the
counter, replied, stranger, money is no
object to me ; put in sugar
IL IL =: Il
two hundred and fifty thousand five
hundred and eighty-nine dollars and ten
cents to keep the women of this country
in imported corsets for one year. What
waste. Exchange. Stay! its not a
waste, its one of their means of support.
London has another new industry. A
man advertises himself as s'Knocker up
and window ticker, from three to seven -
He wakes heavy sleepers who wish to
get up early. Window tickling is walk
ing without ringing the bells, by means
of a long pole, with which he taps on
the window pane.
In an English Sunday school, the VIC
ar's daughter, who was very proud of
her Bible class, on inquiring of one of
her pupils how the Queen of Sheba
came to Solomon, received the reply,
''by railway Miss On asking for an
explanation she received the answer {:
Because, Miss, the Bible says she came
to Jerusalem with very heavy train. !"
Come into the garden Maud,
With a brickbat and stone;
Here's the biggest cat you ever sawed,
Gnawing a chicken bone:
Run like the mischief, Maud,
I'm with the beast alone p
Lorenzo Day having married Miss
Martha Week, local paper comments /:
A Day is made, a Week is lost,
But time should not complain
There'H soon be little DAYS enough
To make tine Week again.
'Oh, yes, gimme ten cents worth of
hair pins" added an up-river farmer, as
he was about to leave store, and while
they were being handed down he con-
tinued: ''It's h'ar pins to-day and rib
bons tomorrow and tooth brush the
next day. The gal is always wanting
some fim-fam thing, and 1 shouldn't
be surprised if she'd some day get up
and want me to bring home one of them
combs with a brass back ''-Detroit
Free Press.
A gentla man who had the misfortune
to lose his nose was followed by beg
gar, who kept exclaiming: "Heaven
preserve your honor's eyesight!" The
gentleman was at last irritated by his
IMMUNITY, and said: ''Why do you
H. a