St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-06-11
Squibs.

ding y For all they have received.
let them he truly thankful. Punch.
II you want to see Il man struggle to
do several things at once, just watch
him irving to put on his ovcrcoat and
rubberS with his head bowed down
while the minister is prououncing the
hcucdiction.
\ visitor to the Jail incidentally men
toned that this WAS Il backward Spring.
Il should say it was." proclaimed dis
coulagrd prisoner. Here it is the
Goth of May and we han't had green
peas yet" Ddnb"ry Ncrs.
\ Kansas scientist is saving for the
benefit of future generations. four mule
shoes. from which the former proprietor
WAS eaten clean b> the graSshuppers
last season. The hopperS must have
been sick or they wouldn't have left
the shoes.
\ reviewer in the New York Tribune
defines real poet us "a singer whose
verses haunt your twilyht>." This
definition Is und, niahly ii good one,
and if accepted. ut once places the
mesquite III the front rank. ST. Louis
RopHbIicnm.
Massachusetts had a pet dog which the
law required him To have licensed He
inquired Of the clerk if the dog had To
make personal application No"
wa> the reply. "you ;,> neTt Of kin can
take ont the papers.
\ funny nse of steam is found on
Duck river. in Tennessee. on which
Steamboat. drawing only foot of
water. and having Il gIi>t mill on board,
wandcr> up and down. stopping where
She is wanted t" grind Il hushel or two
of corn for the farmers.
The vcddin" "t General sheridan and
Mis- Rucktr l. fixed for this month
probably in Chicago. from the brides
residence. on Michigan avenue. Miss
Rurkcr is Il Cathoir aud General Sher-
ilnu will soon enter that church. The
Wedding will hc quiet. with no display.
Nj. Carruth of Ninrlnnd, with
bullet in his head i able t" walk about
and write Il cald withdrawing from
journalism. aud Colonel Anthony is
d"ct"I'> assurances that he could not
live. II is hard I" get an editor ont of
/ the way with bullets.
/ \ Brooklyn lady. whose husband has
an unpleasant habit of railing at her,
has hit upon plan ot calling III her
servants when be hcgiuS to let ont his
temper. aud then turning to him and
saving SwectlN: Nov. my dear,
please 90 ON with your remarks. He
d"c>u't 90 ON. at lca> IL he began.
"1cS. You may come again next sun
day evening. Horace. dear. but-aud
She h.>itatcd. What i il, darling
Have given you pain ," he asked. rs
She still remained silent. You didn't
mean 10. I'm SIIIc. she responded, "hut
plrI>t. don't wear one of those collars
with the points turning outward they
scratch so" i'tca Hc,"Id.
\ clergy man. being applied to in less
than Il Nrar after his appointment to
pat Il stove III the church, asked how
long his prrdcrr>>"r had been there
and when answered. Twelve wears, he
said Well. l"u never had Il tire in the
church during his time No. sir, re-
piled the applicant but We had fire in
the pulpit then.
\ Porter street boy came across
something the other day that he
thought would give his father Il shock
of surprise and he stood before the old
gentleman and said : Give me Il place
tn rest my lever and will move the
world The father looked at him Il
moment and then said I'll move You
if Nou don't clean of the back yard
t this afternoon DrtoH Free Press.
\ party whn WAS looking at house
in the Sixth Ward the other day, said
he couldn't afford to pay 81 much rent.
"Wrll. look al the ncghborhood. re-
piled the Woman. ''lnu can borrow
I fiat mons next door. coffee and tea
. ACROSS the street. flour and -uTar "m the
. corner. and there's Il hi" pile OF wood
: bclomgin. to the school house right
across the alley - DctI"H Free Press.
The London Times contrasts the
+ English and American efforts to reduce
the national debt as follows: Nv Z
cannot but feel with regret that the
1 United States in this respect show more
I the high spirit of Il nation conscious of
/ II great destiny. and anxious above all
y things that no shortcomings of the
present generation shall interfere with
the teachings their children have re-
T. cciNcd.'
= \ prominent citizen on Nelson street
10 who l. the proud po>>e>ror of Il hand
h some daughter. went home To tea, the
+ other evening. and said /" his wife
a Mother. | have finally succeeded i'll
: my petition for Il street lamp on Our
y street. and its going t" he set directly
: i'll front of "ur gate Sudden
O. scream and Il heavy fall sounded from
= the next room. The atfrlghted parents
g rushed in there. Their daughter lay
a.. Al Hal I.,.l 81, tad