The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-11-24
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS. . 1ii4E
A Baltimore servant girl the other
morning tried that good old time honor.
e ed / Plan Ct lighting tbs frs Nth kero.
Fserie. Kothing has benzine st her since.
'Now,'' said a citizen of Rawlins, Wy:
oming Territory, at recent dance, 'syou
see that heller in a red dress; that's my
wife; an EFF yer dance with her more'n
two times, pard, I'll shute the hull top
Nv yer he'd off: What'n yer drink @ :,
Mrs. Haddock, wife Of Judge Haddock
of Iowa, has been admitted to practice in
the courts of that State. She is in de-
mand as an advocate in her husbands
court, and is reputed to be generally sue
cessful. -..:l
Russia has at last reluctantly consented
to come into the Centennial. but she
takes out her revenge on us by sending
Messrs. Boutoosky, Kobeko, Yermakow,
Vychnegradsky, Bielsky, Podobedow and
'limirlazew to represent her in the exhi-
bition.
A revival is raging in Amandaville, KY,
under the management of local Tai
mage, who says: III. know I am fool,
and glory in it; just such as am God
sent me out to knock the socks from under
the sinners HEELS
A great-grand- daughter of Thomas JET.
ferson is writing in one Of the Washing
ton departments for living. Some
the papers seem to regard this as nota-
bic fact, but there is nothing to prove
that she is not an honest woman and as
we'll entitled to the position as any other.
Young lovers quarrels always bring
about the same result. Here is Ann
Connolly, aged IS years, of San Francis.
CO, suing for divorce from her husband
Henry, aged 70, because the young man
| wouldn't give up using tobacco, as he
agreed to do when "he went counting
she.''
A Florida negro's way of carrying a
stolen dead hog was to tic its hind legs
together, pass his head between them. and
as the body hung down in front of him,
to ease the wcighton his neck by lifting
up the fore legs with his hands. He
came to afence, and lifted the hog over !;
but he never got any further, getting en-
tangled so that he chokcd to DEATH
The Louisville Courier Journal hits
Chicago this gentle tap: The Chicago pa.
pers are Boosting that the amount Of mail
matter received there daily averages g..
600 pounds, which is said to be fourteen
times as much as that received at Saint
Louis. 1t is well known fact, however,
that 10000 pounds of the mail matter
which goes to Chicago consists of letters
dunning debtors in that city for money
past due. ~
The Philadelphia navy yard, which is
to be sold by the government, December
2, has been used since the year 1901.
when the site was purchased for $37 900.
The first man-of-war commissioned by
the American government, called the
United States,' was built at this yard,
as was also the "Pennsylvania'' and the
''Mississippi,' the largest steam frigate
ever owned by the government. 1t was
here that the Lane .ster was built and
launched in 1858, Miss Harriet Lane per-
forming the ceremony of, christening the
vessel.
Secretary Chandler started in life as a
school teacher, and it is said, of him that
he has always worked for the cause of
education. To each Of six of the princi-
pal schools Of Michigan he has contribu.
ted 81 900, and number Of churches in
Detroit know of his liberality. HIS chief
drawbacks have been thirst for stimu-
lants and ceaseless gnawing for the vital
fluid of Englishmen and Southerncrs, but
he has never gone so far as to spill any
blood with his own hands, and he proba-
bly, would notseek to deprive the least of
his fellows ofsthe smallest OF the pleasures
of the bar-room through fear of going
dry himself. ...
THE MAN WHO WAS SURE TO BE
SATISFIED.
In the current number of the Atlantic
| MonfhZ1l Gharlas Dndlou w r,,o,. tolls ol