The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-01-29
THE CATAMOUNT'S STORY.

lnE SAlAMVJNI|S SIOhIs
Winter Tal~-True, Every Word of II.
The Fort Wayne Sentinel has been
interviewing gentleman from Colorado
in regard to the cold weather there, and
the following incident by "Lone Bill,
the Colorado gentleman mentioned, is
the result:
One night Scared Pete, the biggest
man and best euchre player i'll Helena,
was beatin' all the boys at the game and
Citing away with their stamps like light
min. 1t 'ud come up awful cold that
afternoon. Thar warn't no thermometer,
and we couldn't tell how low she'd got,
But tho we'd red-hot fire in the stove.
and all sot round her, our breaths friz
right up, and we had to knock off the
icicles from our mouths every few min
utes. The handle on the ace of clubs
cracked and fell off, and no one would
tech spade, COS twas so cold. Well,
Scared Pete held two bowers an three
kings. Long Jim had three aces, n
queen and the "little joker" Scared
Pete put down his right. Long Jim
followed with his ecker" Scared Pete
took an ace with the left Long Jim
gobbled up two of his kings with two
aces Pete swore no man ever before'd
"played it so low" on him and he'd be
eternally caterwauled if Jim hadn't
stocked the keerds. Then there was just
the prettiest little row y'ever sawn. Pete
got Jim down, and afore minute their
breaths had friz tightern vice. The
boys saw it was all up with both on 'em if
they weren't got free. You see there
wasn't no water nor nothing to thaw EN-
out'n that, so they pulled Jim and Pete
'longside the stllv. Twan't no use.
They friz so tight that hot pitch wouldn't
melt 'em. We had to let EN- lie thar all
that night. You see everything was friz
up ; no axe nor nothin' to chop the ice
off. Next day they stayed thar, an next
night. Yes, stranger, for three days and
nights Jim and Pete were friz together.
They stuck closer'n brothers, now you
may bet your bottom dollar. The fourth
day it began to grow little warmer, and
by night the weather was tol'able. We
all sot ro,n' playin' keerds, an me an
Ugly Sam had just begun to get in some
big hcks-me'n Sam was pards, you
know.
All of q suddink like, we heard an aw
full crash. / looked round, an condemn
my picter eff them two 'Yahoos on the
floor hadn't thawed out. Yes, sir, and
thar they were "clawin and punchin
and gougin" just where they'd left off
afore they'd friz together. By that time
we d all warmed up to it, and there was
neat little fuss. Well, stranger, an
I'm tellin' you fax, knives was used
purity lively. But durn'd Of 'twasn't so
cold no one could draw blood. After an
hour or so the fun let up. Jim and Pete
got onto their feet, lookin' us fresh as
roses. Hadn't made no more impression
on themselves than a flea buttin 'gainst
a barndoor. Well, that party broke up
bout morning. We didn't think any
thing of it till day or two after Then
she began to thaw, an stranger, there
was the awfrllest time you ever heerd
on. Them rs got cut in the little muss
in the store begun to bleed like stuck
hogs. Fact. / bled more'n gallon,
an thought I'd have to hand in my
checks. But all but one Teller got fixed
up and did pretty well. Scared Pete
and Long Jim was purity well tuckered
out though. You see when she got
warm, why we began to sort o thaw out,
and the jabs and cuts we got that night
began to tell on us, and the bigger the
cut the more we bled. Now, stranger,
that was only one of the effects of that
little cold snap, 'twasn't nothing to what
happened afterward
Here Lone Bill began to move uneasily
about Noticing that we watched him
rather curiously, he remarked +: " You
see, soon as / git a trif1e warm L feel I'M
easy like and smart, an have to light out
into the air. This climate don't suit
'zactly, an I'm goin' to strike for old
Montany again. / cum down hyar in
Injiany to see bout some people, sort
of relatives like. l tried to get 'em to
get ont o. this, pull up stakes and go
whar man can breath easy.
Saying this, Lone Bill spat with amaz-
ing accuracy Mt nail head ON the wall,
and, wiping his mouth with the coat tail
of his linen duster, turned his melan-
choly face and No. IA boots toward the
door.
Hating with his brawny hand on the
door knob, he hesitatingly said eff you
should prent anything I've sed, an eff
you've got room, just say that Lone Bill
will swar to anything he's said. AT home
I'm sometimes known as the 'cata-
mount, and no man don't call me liar
twic't."
We hastened to assure him that we
supposed him to be truth embodied, and
that any man who could dispute his word
was no better than he should be, and q
horse-thief into the bargain.