The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1875-04-21
NEWS AND OTHER ITEMS.

NEWS AND OTHER ITEMS.
l. A plain Wisconsin man, hoFTi8ed
at over-hearing his wife calculate.
That's the kind of a clothes-pin
am" went out to attempt suicide
How true. AS DIR. johnson says.
that "eyery man endeayors with his
utmost care TO hide his poverty from
Others and his idleness from him
self,' .fel aalI5
Talk about the poetry of motion
and sylph-like grace, but did you
ever stand by and see woman use
a one-tined fork to flop stove cover
offY'
I'VE read a good deal In the pa
pers of stylish turDouts in Washing
ton. Buffers turnout. though not
stylish, has been much admired
4ArcddiaH, $3.50
A Troy bigamist ran out of a back
door while his two wives were fight.
ing over the question as to which
should have him, and has not since
heen seen.
When q Detroiter was asked the
other day by traveller if he had
ever been in Brooklyn he fastened
to reply: ''Do look like one of that
sort of men, sir r.
II don't care much about the
bugs said Warmley, to the head
of a genteel clearinghouse, ''but
the fact is madam, i haven't the
blood to spare you see that your.
SELF"
The New Haven Journal tells of IA
goose that is fifty years old. Wen
take duck, then.
Said Pat, "Faix, where wud We
find a modern house that has lasted
as long as the ancientY' @5
A man at Ripon, Wis. whose al.
manac says this spring, had his ears
frozen while planting cabbage seed
last week, t @ .f
They only ask fifteen cents per
pound for butter in Texas, but alasl
they charge seventy-fve cents for
doing up clean shirt.
A Milwaukee lady, who paid fifty
dollars to have a wart removed from
her nose, wants to know wha t has
become of the nose.
An attendant at a spiritual seance
in Fairhaven, Vermont, seized the
materialize6 form of his grandmoth-
er, and she turned out to be the me-
dunn in disguise.
Mark Twain says that with the
poor whites along the Mississippi
"chills are merciful provision oC
an all wise Providence TO enable
them to take exercise without exers
ton. ..a. a.l.
Henry Ward Beecher has bought
an orange plantation in Florida, ad-
joining his sister Harriet's place, and
his agent is there, arranging things
in style for the reception Of the Ply
mouth demigod, who will proceed
thither immediately after the trial.
The Chinese are evidently pagans.
They celebrate all their holidays by
paying their debts. forgiving their
enemies and shaking hands all
round. The civilized people who
have gone to China have not yet in
duce6 them to relinquish these odd
and barbarous habits.
There is a story of certain Doc
tor of Divinity, whose name they
spell with "P." A man of the
same name died, and q jealous news.
paper fellow, seeing the death in the
paper and thinking only OF DR.. p,
wrote most enthusiastic obituary.
A wag met DIR. p. the next day.
What, are you not dead - he said.
"Well, then, you ought to be. No
man can ever live up to that obitu.
ary." los a4t lc 'a
The county court of Washington
county LEVIED the following tax for
school purposes: On each 500
worth ofsproperty % CENTS on each
poll 81 90; on privileges 20 per
cent. This is an increase over last
year.
Smokers beware A physician
says that tobacco smoking interferes
with the molecular changes coinci-
dent with the development Of the
tissues, and makes the blood COR
pnseles oval and irregular at the
edge. -..f,
Germany, with a population OF
$4,000. 600 souls. graduated 66O ply,
sicians last year, rejecting 108 APP
plieants. The record of the United
States, with its 10000, 600 populs-
tion for the same year, is 5000
graduates and few, if any. rejections,
A Nevada woman recently knock,
ed down seven burglars, one after,
another. Her husband watched her
from the top of the stairs, and felt
so 'brinful Of battle that he couldn't
cool off until he had jerked his eight
year old boy out of bed and "whal.
ed'' him soundly for not getting up
and helping his mother.
It is9related of a certain minister.
who was noted for his long sermons
with many divisions, that. one day,
when he was advancing among his
teenss he reached at length a kind
Of faresting place i'm his DISCOURSE,
when pausing to take breath. he
asked the question '..And what shall
/ say more ?" a voice from the con.
earnestly responded, "Say
Amen !''' se al H
o"Have you any eggs:" inquired a
peaceful looking man as lie leaned
over tue counter of hardware store
a l. 4