Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1875-05-14
II UM.O r

THE MAN WHO WANTED INFoRMA-
TONY esterday noon, while all the
people around the Office except the 'shead
reporter were at dinner, the smell Of
smoke suddenly became apparent, and a
fat man, smoking big pipe, came toiling
up stairs. When he had recovered his
breath and taken a seat, he inquired:
sis der pig editor who knows everydings
in?n =
'sNo: gone to dinner" was the reply.
s'Und he shall come back purity soon?"
Gin about two hours"
81 can't wait so quick as dat; L hat to
go to funeral"
'sDo you want anything?"
ssYes, I wants to know some dings about
dat Peecher scandal. You zee, one day
about dree months ago fellow comes NIT
my FALCON and he says: Did you hear nod
dings about Mr.. Peecher?' und say nix,
and he say, sMr. Peecher sthole corn.'"
HYes."
"Und der next day when 1 went home
my wife says: did you hear holdings
about Mr.. Peecher?' Und she said Mr..
Peecher sthole dog"
EYES,"
etUnd when [ was in der street-gar a
man says, Hello, Mr.. Ritterman, what
do you drinks about Mr.. Peecher?' Und |
says no man can be goot man who Will
steal dog. Und den everybody laughs
und winks, und don't know about it,"
ssYesv
.sUnd when I,was in der Zitty Hall man
sthrikes me on der pack, und zays: Hello,
old trent, is Mr.. Peecher guilty?' Und [
said dunno, und he said Mr.. Peecher
hiret man to blow up a schurch mit a
parrel of bowder."
eyes,
seUnd den When | was in Dearborn, a
man looks bretty sharp at me und zays:
You lif in Dadroit, don't you?' Und [
said, Il lif in Datroit.' Und he says, What
is your shudgment on that Peecher pisi-
ness?' Und [ said holdings. Und he said
Mr.. Peecher had fight nit a circus man. !"
eyes"
s'Und when my pig boy come home from
Doledo, he say: 'Fadder, what you drinks
about dot Mr.. Peecher?' Und says dun
no. Hans. Und he says Mr.. Peecher got
some gloze und shumped der dailor's bill"
ayes"
''Und when [ goes home or in der street
gar. or nit my FALCON, or in der bOst-Otfice,
somebody say some dings about dot Peech-
er pisiness, and dunno. Who is dot MI.
Peecher? Where he lif?"
HE is a great preacher, and he lives i'll
Brooklyn"
40? Und what he do?" :.
'yIe cot one of these tabaccO boxes with
a needle in the cover, and carried itaround
in his pocket When man tried to open
it the needle went into his thumb about
twenty-five feet.''
lsIs dat bossible?"
Eyes. and he had his vest pocket made
SO deep that cigar would go clean out of
sight, and he kept it full and deceived the
public
MY zeal! but is dat zo?"
Ky es, and he keeps an old wildcat bill
i'm his wallet to lend out when a man wants
to secure the loan OF dollar for a few
minutes"
"VhelI, I DECLARES! Ven preacher
shall do like dat, we shall wonder What
next. 70 dat is der Peecher pisiness, eh?
Well, yhell. ''-Detg'oH Free Press.
ssNo Mo- BALLS FOB ME."-A car
driver was signaled to stop at the corner
of Preston and Market sts., but two negro
women, one of whom was to get out at
that point, concluded their talk thus, as
the car tarried a moment:
Inside darky-sI say, Liza, is you gwine
to coma to de ball to night?" Outside dark
ey, lingering on the car steps-''What's
aats'' Ills YOU gwine to de dance tonight?
Y ON know Jane'M hs lookin' fur you.'' Is
Look a hea, chile, hasn't you done
heard de NEWS"
mo, Liza, I haint.'
s'Well, you jest tell dat wooIly -headed
weucG dat rs done got religion-I's gwine
to church tonight; no mo- balls for lne, I
tell you.''
1tPshaw, Liza, dat'l do well 'nough for
ONE foot-daS's Presbyterian; but dat left
churn-dasher o'YoIfn's bound to wag
whenebber YOU hea de ba@io picked-go
7long wild YOU, gal" And the car wen ton,
too---LouisUilJe Journal.
A little girl braids the hair Of one who
sits i'll FRONT of her instead OF studying,
when the teacher remarks: "Home is the
place for arranging the hair, not here
What would you think of my braiding my
hair in SCHOOL," Presently Susan's hand
is raised, and the teacher, supposing she
wished to ask some question shout the
lesson, mods, when she hears the following:
MARY says your hair is false, and you
wouldn't dare to do it here.''
4'Please, SIR said boy, with two bot
Ties, to a grocer, ':mothef wants a cents
worth of your best yeast.'' swell, which
bottle will you have it in?" Please, sir,
she wants it in BOTH and WON'T you put
corks in 'em, and send 'em hone, as Pm
<yoino t5other WAY: and mother saws She