The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1875-09-02
TT ICE CREAM.
Of Infereece--In-.
-dation Some times
Passes for Truth.

COrn peer, IrleO pOlaUOeS, pichIoo ssh.'
mince pie"
s'1his is not a restaurant this is an
ice cream parlor,' she said.
Then why did you ask me what L
wanted for? Why didn't you bring on
your ice cream +?
She went after it, and as she returned
he continued:
You see, my dear girl, you must infer
you must reason. 1t isn't likely that
would come into an ice-cream parlor
to buy grindstone, is it You didn't
think I came in here to ask # you had
any bailed hay, did you.
She looked at him in great surprise,
and he went on.
If I owned hardware store, and you
came IN, would infer that you came
fer something in my line. L wouldn't
step out and ask you it you wanted to
buy mule, would I 2
She went away highly indignant. An
old lady was devouring a dish of cream
at the next table, and the stranger, after
watching her for moment, called out:
My dear woman, have you found any
hairs or buttons in your dish 2
Mercy no 2 she exclaimed, as she
wheeled around and dropped her spoon.
We'll; Tn glad of it. he continued.
IF you find any just let me know
She looked at him for half a minute,
picked up the spoon, laid it down
again and then rose up and left the room.
She must have said something to the
proprietor, for he came running in and
exclaimed:
Did you tell that woman that there
were hairs and buttons in my ice cream p
No, SIR
You didn't?'
No,-sir, did not; merely request
ed her, in case she found any such
ingredients, to inform me-
We'll, sir, that was mean trick
My dear sir, said the stranger, smil
ing softly, did you expect me to ask the
woman if she had found a crow-bar or a
sledge-hammer in her cream It is i'm
possible, sir, for such articles to be hid
den away in such small dishes
The proprietor went away growing,
and as the stranger quietly supped away
at his cream two young ladies came in,
sat down near him and ordered cream
and cakes. He waited until they had
eaten q little and then he remarked:
Beg pardon, ladies, but do you OBJ
serve anything peculiar in the taste of
this cream 2
They tasted, smacked their lips, and
we're not certain.
Does it taste to you as if a plug of
tobacco had fallen into the f-eezer2' he
asked.
'Ah kah = they exclaimed, dropping
their spoons and trying to spit out what
they had eaten. Both rushed out, and
it wasn't long before the proprietor
rushed in.
See here, what in blazes are you talk
ing about?' he demanded. what do
you mean by plug tobacco in the freez-
er?'
MY kind friend, L asked the ladies if
this cream tasted of plug tobacco. [
don't taste no such taste, and I don't
believe you used bit of tobacco in it 7
well, you don't want to talk that way
around here 7 continued the proprietor.
My cream is pure, and the man who
says it isn't tells a bold lie 7
He went away again, and a woman
with long neck and sad face sat down
and said to the girl that she would take
small dish Of lemon ice.
It was brought, and she had taken
about two mouthfuls when the stranger
inquired:
Excuse me, Jam, but do you know
how this cream was made-have you an
idea that they grated turnip and chalk
with the cream?'
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up,
wheeled around, and made for the door.
The stranger followed after, and by
great good luck his coat-tail cleared the
door an instant to soon to be struck by a
five-pound box of figs hurled with great
force by the indignant proprietor. AS
he reached the curbstone he halted,
looked at the door of the parlor and
soliloquized
There are times when people should
infer, and there are times when they
shouldn't. I suppose if I had asked
that woman if she thought they hashed
mp a saw-miH in the cream she'd have
felt a circular-saw going down her
throat. Detroit Free Press.