The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-03-06

The press-thc mightiest of the means
On which the arm of progress leans.

part OF Romeo, while Mr. NJ. very credllaOly as
sisted in the play entitled The Sea Of lee As
the evening was very fine, the house was rlled
to its utmost capacity-with smoke.
1t is not good taste for young men to stay af'
ter ten o'clock when visiting young ladies. Our
devil says he never noticed any difference in the
taste after ten o'clock He says its good any
time.
| Only seven women on Columbus St thought
that the article in regard to an artificial jaw,
meant them. Out of the seven one was Il deaf
and dumb lady
The temperance meeting at Plymouth Church
mot Bcechcrs) on Sunday afternoon, was slimly
attended, owing to the bad weather. One Of
our city papers was passed around and has
since that time gained several subscribers.
| That book entitled Half an Hour with In
sects, has met with great success. Over 1000
copies have been sold The boys say it is lively
reading.
BY buying load Of ice from Luke you will re
ceive book giving the meaning of all your
dreams.
A travelling agent stopping ut one of our no
tells on La Sale street, dreamed that he would
have quail on toast for his breakfast. On seat
ing himself for his morning meal you can mag
inc the feeling that came over him. when instead
| of realizing his happy dream, he was asked by
the waiter if he would have some liver and
ducks eggs. He said he didn't feel WELL and
ordered cup of hot water and two onions,
| A cross.eyed school teacher in the 9th ward,
ordered the boy that she was looking at to take
his place out on the floor, and Immediately 10
boys from different parts of the room walked
out. Nobody hurt
| The reason that the Republican Office contribu-
ted so much to the benefit of the Kansas suffer
ers, was because they haven't got subscriber
in that state. They sent copy along with their
contribution to the President of the Kansas re-.
lief, and they expect in that way to let the peo-
pie of that country know that there is such a
paper in existence
! A terrible blow-b'low zero.
Boys arc beginning to talk of specializing in
marbles.
A real live swallow flew into the Park House
Monday morning. Where is the person who can
explain the omen.
The report that Mr.. Lord was going to clerk in
the Ottawa house is unfounded
Twenty -four men have now stated under oath,
that Bird Bckford is gentleman, and still Doc
Stout entertains doubt
The Circuit Court has spent two weeks in un.
doing the work of the Grand Jury, and yet they
don't was happy
1t was discovered that a young Lothario had
his Wright arm in the wrong place on Tuesday
evening, Orr else he might have had bid to the
party on Wednesday night.
Who is the chap that stops at the window o
dark nights? BE careful the starts do not eX.
pose you.
A thickness of newspaper between the bed
quilts will help wonderfully to keep you warm
these cold nights Now is the time to sub
SCRIBE
A west side man unconsciously got himself in
to trouble on Monday evening His wife asked
him where he going, she observed him
putting on his overcOat. Il am going to sally
FORTH he replied. Let me catch you going with
Sally Forth, and there will be first-class oppor
tunity for your fire company to throw them
selves on set of obituary resolutions.
And now the head of the family returning
from his lodge through the chilly midnight air
gently rolls his sleeping spouse over TO the colo
side of the bed, and sinks softly into the vacated
spot with a sigh of thankfulness.
A rural swain, visiting Dayton with his doxy
was observed at evening standing near the
ticket office at the depot. waiting for the train
1t was cold and dreary, and the temperature wal
: touching up the girls ears and nose with a blend
ing of purple and red. Look here, Josh" sh,
exclaimed, petulently, Pm tired standing NJ
here, Pun half froze. Let's go to that place ia
! dies room.) Everybody else goes in there Nc
you DON'T said Josh. No stree! I've spcn
enough money now, and amt agoin' to pay t(
20 in there"
It is reported that somewhat juvenile dandy
said to a fair partner at ball: Miss, don't yor
: think my moustachss are becomiDgY to which
Miss replied: Well, sir, they may be coming
but they haven't arrived yet
Is it possible for one of crowd of boys to rur
after a sleigh while the Others stay back with
out the latter shouting at the top of their voices
Whip behind"
| Jake is on the anxious seat for wife. Buy
$50 slclSn, Is our auNlCc'
Joe Hall was surprised yea, scared on Monda,
eveLing by his house being taken by host o
friends Joe says he likes it.
Four female girls and two masculine youn:
men had lots of fun sleigh-riding on the ives
: side, in a one horse cutter, Tuesday evening.
John Lomasney's popularity won him a watcl
chain worth $40 at stcator, on Thursday, tn
;. 9th ult. Miss Cosgroye got matched. The Cath
a Ollie society did it.
Allen j. got himself and lady terribly and nu
d merously upset on Wednesday evening. Til
i popularity of such accidents ~ when slcighin.
is fast being realized.
y John Ames was married on Tuesday mornin
i at Lacon, and when he and his happy bride al
S rived in streator they were aflectionately We
coined home again by Mike Clancy. No card