The Grange advance. [volume] (Red Wing, Minn.) 1873-1877, 1875-12-15

themselves. To the natural grotesque.
ness Of their appearance, they have
added feature or two by assuming pc.
culiar ambling gait, and sway of the
body that is cross between the sly fer.
ward movement Of the proverbial stage
'tArtful Dodger," and the equally stage.
fed hip movement of Jack Tar. The as.
sembled company, far from suspecting
collision, cannot but be struck by the
similarity of appearances, and give vent
to their establishment by EXPLANATIONS OF
surprise. This is critical moment. If
the proprietor is q decisive sortof chap,
and won't stand nonsense under any cir.
cumstances, he may cry out, "Here, git
out of this, - before there has been time
for even the opening speech, and that
being the case, the whole play is spoiled.
and the pair must stink out rs best they
can. This critical moment is fully apprc.
ciated by them, and they lose no time in
overcoming it by Immediately entering
into action.
While those assembled about the bar
look first at one and then the other, the
''vags' solemnly approach the centre of
attraction, and not until they are no more
than six or eight feet apart do they pre-
tend to take cognizance of each other.
When they do stumble to it," they do it
simultaneously and with start. Then
some interesting pantomime follows, hut
all so natural and we'll timed that any
suspicion of collision is utterly out Of
the question.
Everybody is now laughing at the odd
sight presented, the proprietor ha ha' s
with the rest, and the ''vags, feeling that
the first approaches have been won, enter
| upon
THE SECOND STAGE
of the programme.
"When did they let yon out of the
corn.field 2 inquiries he with the quarter
section of shawl of him with the abbrevi-
ated infantry mantle.
''What's the matter with you?' asks
the other, rather sneeringly.
"Why," says the first, 1.-THE last time
saw you was at Kankakee, and you had
just hired out for scare-crow.
At this sally, the crowd, as matter of
course, laughs immoderately, and the
chances are altogether in favor of some
one calling on the "abused' party to de-
fend himself, which he without further
ado proceeds to do.
! ''Oh, don't mind what fellow like
that says. I guess he's the one rag.
picker picked up with other rubbish in
the gutter the other day, but had to
throw out again because it spoiled the
rest of his stuff
And after that they went on abusing
each other about minor details. The one
called the attention of the company to
the others squat nose that one returned
by directing their glances at the others
big feet. with some odd compliment, and
all the while both kept up sort of side
ling movement of the body, somewhat
after the manner Of Elliott Grey, in the
play Of "Rosedale," where he '*plays
HIMSELF for 'crib.cracker" among the
thieving gypsies. The little play as per.
formed by these ''vags" is really capt.
tai conception, and might form nucleus
Of first-class play. The ''idea'' is a
good one, is practically demonstrated
daily, for this unique couple still thrive
upon the income derived from it, and
even after the ''trick has been discover
ed, they are put to repetition whenever
A CROWD OF THE BOYS
get sight Of them, and now and then,
when they strike the right kind of gath.
ering-one that is we'll ''heeled''-they
even rise to the dignity Of champagne
libation. But as rule they are we'll sat-
isfed to make out quantity of current
drinks, with something tangible for the
stomach.
There are also some fine specimens OF
the female vagrant on exhibition now and
then, and not a few that are worthy to
travel through this vale Of tears by the
side OF our economic friend and the two
Dromios. AS among the proud lords OF
creation, so among these weaker vessels,
there are scores of common trash, who
are Migrants under the law, because they
get drunk and into trouble, lie about
rather Unfortunately in vacant lots and
lumber yards, do little stealing now and
then when it comes handy, and spend nine
months OF the year in the BRIDE
we'll. But of these we will
have none on this occasion,
There is no speculation in their bleared
eyes, no wit on their SOLDERING, gaggine
tongue. no invention in their top.knots.
However, there are a few sisters, as has
been remarked, who seem to be equal to
any emergency, and one pair in particu.
lar, that has recently fallen under the
notice of the writer, and they will no
| doubt be calle to mind by many a read.
er, for they are an industrious couple, is
especially worthy of mention. And it
may be observed that since the remark
able success Of this twain has gone abroad
among the Select" other similarly con.
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