The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-03-10
ETA ELMER'S TRIALS.

You know how it is, my dear married
reader; she was coaXing, but he was
cross and would not be coaxed, and pa
thence ceasing to be virtue, he slammed
his paper upon the table, eXclaiming:
81 shan't go to your old Aunt Ketchum,
nor can spare the mohey tor your ne W
bonnet"
alt would be no harm, Ed, to come
Aunt Ketchum is always so glad to see
you, and-and-I know you can easily
afford me new bonnet" said his weak
little wife, Eta, and the tears began to
sparkle in her eyes the least bit.
1T is no use to sniffie, Eta; / can't
get the bonnet, and | won't co." He put
on his coat with jerk. sam to make
a noodle Of myself, running with you to
your Aunt Ketchum, almost out of the
world, away up "the hill" and down the
other side to the Navy-yardy Twill not
60! You say your bonnet is shabby; l
have no time to compare your bonnet
with other bonnets. l can't say whether
women wear plug hats or sailor caps"
Banging the door after him as he left the
house so as to put little emphasis on
what he said.
Poor Eta, she had little cry, so ac-
customed to all wives, then prepared to
go to Aunt Ketchum's.
'And tell her every word how Ed. had
treated me. 1t is too hard, too hard TO-
any wife, as good as l am to bear"
soliloquized Eta, as she was getting
ready.
Edward Elmer was not gruff man at
heart, but being nervous and quick-t tem-
pered he flew into passion, and being
little cross helped it on.
That same evening Ed. had occasion
to 20 in the neighborhood of the Navy
yard, as he was hurrying to get home
| hurrying more to get out OF the rain, for
it came down in torrents.
.Deuce take the rain," muttered he,
stepping into the car, 81 am soaked. l
am soaked. l wonder how Eta felt to-
dayY l am confounded fool! Let's
see, l guess Pll give her a new bonnet
and a set of furs. Say, driver, can't you
head her little"
.sNot for half minute yet"
| Very particular about half a minute,
and he liked himself as snug as possible
| in the corner Of the car, and apolOg zed
| to himself for his behavior to Eta.
| AT last the car started. Very soon it
stopped; a little lady entered, all mutfied
up, with large basket on her arm.
"Move up little, please" as she sat
directly opposite Ed.
"What nice little foot, and wet too,
| Pll bet. 1t is shame for such little
WOIlldu W Cdlll tuuo DiS ooohSts
| The window behind the lady came
down. Ed. soon replaced it. She
thanked him.
"Conlound that yeilp' said Ed; 81
wish she would raise it,"
Another lady passenger got in. Ed.
surrendered his seat and stood opposite
the little lady, wondering who she was.
Twenty-fourth street was near at hand.
AS ed. prepared to get out he noticed
| the lady also preparing.
snow is my chance" thought Ed.
nI'll see who she is"
AS she LEFT the Car Ed. slipped up to
ner and said:
"Miss, allow me to carry your basket;
it seems so heavy for you"
"Ii you please" came so sweet and en-
ticing that had it been house he would
have can ried it.
"Goins farP" asked Ed. after awhile.
"Not very"
"Lucky ior you," said Ed. to himself.
"What a pulling over would get if Eta
v ere to see me! Slamming and banging
would be on her side"
He began to feel uneasy as he neared
the house. His thoughts and eXpecta-
tions were suddenly changed, for the lit
tie lady ran up the steps of his house.
He stood rooted to the spot.
"What in heavens name will l say"
He was afraid 10 60 up the steps. The
little lady rang the bell; the door opened.
Poor Ed. was ready to wilt. The little
lady entered the hall, took off her wet
shawl, and looked at poor Ed, who was
still standing in the rain with the bas-
ket.
"Come in, Ed. Have you not sense
enough to come in out of the wet ?"
"Whatv screamed Ed. "Ettar'
"Ed., Ed, don't yell SO; you'll rouse
The neighbors.'
He went in. He wished the Navy-yard
car and basket and rain and everything
he could think of in u very warm local
ity.
II declare, Ed, could eat you up. l
am raging mad. IL is my turn to slam
and bang. II had been another female,
| it would have been just the same," and
she pretended to cry.
81 knew it was you, Eta. Ha! ha"
"Oh, Ed, heard you say 'what pretty
| little feet, and wet too, I'll bel.'"
SNOW, here, Eta, let's drop it and say
no more about it,"
mo, sir, I'll go to Aunt Ketchum and
| tell her every word of it,"
"You had no business to be out so
late"
II could not get home earlier. Oh!
Ell, Ed"
Lus bOOA bOOh III tAS 5AtunsiOh5 gnu
acted accordingly.
"Now, here, darling" taking the pre-
tended enraged little wife in his arms,
sit you promise to say nothing about
this Pll not fly up any more" =
Eta saw Ed. was coming around. She
pretended to cry all the more.
''Now, don't cry, darling. Look up,
my dear. You will spoil those little
eyes. Pll give you the bonuet-in fact,
my dear own little wiley, will take a
day Oft and we will 20 shopping. We
men are great brutes any way, we can't
appreciate good wife,"
She put her arm around his neck and
gave him Kiss.
"Now look up, deary. You won't be
mad any longer, will you"
"NO, shan't, Ed, and this seals the
bargain" kissing him several times.
"Now, remember / won't fly up any
more, and we will take any dayyou wish
next week to go shopping, if you say
nothing about this to any 0ne."
''To no one."
The happy shopping, Eta got her bon
net and furs. and several presents be.
sides, and when Mr.. Edward Elmer flies
M .l,at r. i