The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1875-05-11
DETROIT FREE rREssIsNs,

MORE WnlTEwAsHlNG.-Ono OF
the negro whilowashors was sent by
Il Joker to city official 10 secure u
Job, aud when no stood IN the OIL ,
cial's presence no humbly said
Mistor, dcy tolo me dat you
wanted to git ger character white
washed, and ESQ cum to do dc job, -
As the oolored man looked back
mp stairs and felt Of the place where
something struck him, he unused
"Waal, now, who'd u thought he'd
mako sich n fuss as that over sich u
small jobl"
DDN'T WALK,-A man stood in u
store door on Woodward avenue
Yesterday until a young lady came
along with an umbrella, and stepped
out, made u handsome bow and
said
MAY | walk with you2 ! don't
like to get wet.
"This rain il Just what is needed
TO give vegetables n start she re.
piled, and passed ahead, leaving him
out in the wet
No HARM DONE An old lady
passing through the central market
yesterday, halted at Il stand and
handy incurred
Have you any nice plums p
"Plums? PIums ?" repeated the
man; "why, it won't be time for
plums for four months yet -
mo, sposc not continued the
old lady, "but it's no harm to in
quire around II little
PROVIDING FOR ALL "A newsboy,
seated on the postoilice steps yester.
day, counted his pennies over and
remarked
Seventeen cents in Nll That's
five for the circus, three for pea
nuts, four for a sinking fund, fonr
owe to Jack, and there's one left to
support II widowed mother on until
Saturday night"
WOULD TALK.-As a man and
woman were riding on II Michigan
avenue car he whispered something
to her and she began to talk out
He nudged her and whispered again |
when she shouted:
81 will talk, so now would as
soon the whole world would know
that you struck me with the stove
handle and then got down on your
knees and asked my forgiveness !"
The man dropped out Of the car
like q shot and the woman stuck
her head out of the window and
continued
"If you aren't home on the min
ute I'll make you think you've been
struck by a tornado :!
Darwin has weakened on his
theory, or rather taken new one.
He says. that it takes 10000 years
for an ape to be transformed into a
statesman. We don't know much
about apes, bUt it would seem as If
they would get discouraged, and de-
eide on remaining apes.
Will the Detroit Free Press stop
making jokes long enough to tell us
what u penstock' ISL Bosien
Globe.
You select nice clean straw, you
know, put one end in Your mouth,
the other in the glass, and then
draw aud smile and draw some
more and leave ten cents on the
counter.
HER Loss.---During the great fire
Wednesday night young lady
rushed up and down Montcalm
street wildly shouting:
Save 'em-oh save EN- p
"What is it? Who? Where
shouted man as he seized her arm.
us any one burning up2
Not as | know Off she walled,
"but won't somebody dash in there
and save my croquet set7'
No one dashed.
Domestic Economy allow much
to telegraph to Chicago ?" inquired
citizen of African descent at one
of the telegraph offices yesterday.
Fifty cents was the reply.
"Thunderation, is dat fact y ex-
claimed the colOred man. MY ole
woman's powerful bad off, and she
wants her sister to come along right
smart, but guess I'll have to make
de mail do. Dat forty-seven cents
extra'll buy heap OBJ Sunday
meat"
Mark Twain could have married
slxty-fve different girls for love,
but he waited until he could love
one with a coal mine in her own
name
A Chicago clairvoyant says that
Charley Ross is in Heaven. She
was determinsd IN locate him Wherel