Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-10-27
ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.

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ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.
THERE are only 46, 900 Jews in France.
If greatness has it's drawbacks" 50
has littleness.
The coming examinations at the Uni
versity OF Cambridge will offer to young
women opportunity for obtaining sew
eral valuable scholarships and prizes.
BURGLARS are so bold in Quincy, Ill,
that the inhabitants are thinking about
raising fund to induce them to 90 else
where.
SHE was overheard to say to him,
/" Our parlor stove is up now; do call
and see what a little spark it takes to
kindle flame.
A VISITOR in South Park, Colorado,
has picked up curious piece of stone,
which, on scientific examination, is pro-
nounced to be apetrifed plug of tobacco.
BOYLE & JOB constitute a Hazleton
pennsylvania firm. When his part
ner breaks out on him Job has to bear
it TRANQUILITY, but he can sit down on
him. --NeaO York World.
A HAMILTON girl, the other night,
sang the song, Darling I am Growing
Old, with an expression so pertinent
and forcible that her procrastinating
lover was brought to time on the spot.
g Do they ring two bells for school p
said father to his ten ear-old daugh-
ter who attends the High School. 'sNo,
pa, they ring only one bell twice. she
replied.
WHEN woman, says Mrs. Parting
ton, has been married with congealing
heart, and one that beats Responding to
her own, she will never want to enter
the marriage state again.
SOME reckless newspapers are con-
stantly harping upon their independ-
ence and airing their lofty disdain for
organs. AS if an organ was not as good
as Tyre, any day
THERE is man in Iowa who never
had any eyes. The skin grows over the
place usually occupied by them the
same as over the rest of the face. Tt is
perhaps unnecessary to add he is stone
blind. @ a
The Rochester Democrat says on be-
half of Jeff Davis son that he didn't
select his father; bas his mother was
injudicious in that matter, and, after
all, the young man must be held re-
sponsible.
AN old gentleman, with kind but
determined look on his face. said
/" The next time that boy refuses to go
on GRAND will go for him." The boy
heard the kind offer, and concluded to
&c as told.
AN Ohio woman couldn't find the
peck measure, and she called to her
boy: "Here, Tom, take my hustle and
give the preachers horse all the oats it
will hold"
Any kind of decent mourning bon
net now costs S12, and any sort of an
economical woman is afraid of crying
at the grave for fear Of spelling the
strings.
AN Arab chief at the Marailles opera
especially admired the trombone player,
expressing his wonder "to see that
Christian swallow SO mush brass. I
can not yet comprehend where he puts
it.
A PARTISAN gentleman who died re-
Gently, and whose name is unknown,
left $50, 900 to the Minister of Fine Arts
on condition that the sum be spent in
the erection of colossal statue of
France on the summit Of the Arc de
Triomphe.
a PROJECT is on foot among European
artillerists to have steel gun manu-
featured 32a feet long, weighing 124
tons, and firing shell of 2,270 pounds
weight with 400 pounds of powder.
Such shot gun ought to be heard round
the world
NOTHING is SO discouraging to young
lawyer, just as he wakes eloquent about
angels tears, weeping willows, and
tombstones, as to be interrupted by the
cold blooded Justice with--e' You're off
your nest, bub; this is a case OF hog
stealing"
The following is literal copy of an
epitaph discovered by g Minnesota lady
in cemetery in Middle Pennsylvania,
and sent by her to Secretary of State
Jennison, to be communicated to the
Historical Society: IS
Here lyes the bodie of Margaret Fay
Her would if her could but her couldn't stay,
Her had bad legs and badish cough
1t were hlr legs as carried her off.
As Ben Butler was waiting for train
at the Lowell depot the other day,
boy hailed him with the query, Mister,
want bouquet, only five cents z" The
General looked at him for minute, and
then took out a bank bill to make the
purchase. The boy took it and coolly
observed, "Well, Mister, I can't
change that; hold these bouquets, won't
you, while I go and get it broke ?"
The General did as he was hidden, and
he boy soon came back with the
hange.
The other evening, when Harper's
train was approaching Lochand, it
parted in the middle, and the bell rope
snapped off like a thread, the end
of it striking an old lady from Jaspar on
her bonnet, and setting her nerves to
play. "What on earth's the matter ?"
she exclaimed. ssOh. the trains broke
in two" replied a gentleman who
sat in the next seat. 'sUgh I should
say So, the old lady said, looking at