Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1875-07-29
Nnmuruus department.
.ABOUT ICE.CREAM.v

'sABOUT 1CE.CREAM."
He slipped into an ice.cream saloon very
softly, and when the girl asked him what hi
wanted he replied
Corn beef, fried potatoes, pickles and
mince pie"
This is not restaurant; this is an ice
cream parlor," she said.
"Then why did you ask me what wanted
for?" Why didn't you bring on your ice
cream?'
She went after it, and as she returned he
continued
"You see, my dear girl, you must infer
you must reason. 1t isn't likely that would
come into an ice.cream parlor to buy grind
stone, is it? You did not think I came in
here to ask if you had any baled hay did
you?"
She looked at him in great surprise and he
went on:
"If owned hardware store, and you came
in, would infer that you came for something
in my line. wouldn't step up and ask you
if you wanted to buy mule, would 1 ?"
She went away highly indignant. An old
lady was devouring dish of cream at the
next table, and the stranger, after watching
for moment, called out:
"My dear woman, have you found any hairs
or buttons in your dish p
"Mercy no" she exclaimed, as she wheeled
around and dropped her spoon.
"Well, I'm glad Of it," he continued. "lt
you find any Just let me know"
She looked at him for half minute, picked
up the spoon, laid it down again, and then
rose up and left the room. She must have
70 fho or f0r 10 m
running in and exclaimed:
"Did you tell that woman there were hairs
and buttons in my ice-cream p
"No, sir"
"You didn't?"
"No, sir, did not; 1 merely requested her
in case she found any such ingredients, tc
inform me %
"Well, sir that was mean trick
"My dear sir" said the stranger, smiling
softly, "did you expect me to ask the woman
if she had found crow-bar or sledge-ham
mer in her cream! 1t is impossible, sir, fol
such articles to be hidden away in such small
dishes"
The proprietor went away growing, and a.
the stranger quietly slipped away at hi
cream two young ladies camein, sat down neal
him and ordered cream and cakes. He wait
ed until they had eaten little and then he
remarked:
"Beg pardon, ladies, but do you observe
anything peculiar in the taste of this cream !?
They tasted, smacked their lips, and were
not certain.
"Does it taste to you as if a plug of tobacco
had fallen into the freezer?" he asked.
"Ah kah !" they exlaimed, dropping their
o,,l to yuho haG
eaten Both rushed out, and it wasn't long
before the proprietor rushed in.
'See here what in blazes are you talking
about ?" he demanded. "What do you mean
by plug tobacco in the freezer"
"AIy kind friend, asked the ladies if this
cream tasted of plug tobacco. didn't taste
any such taste, and don't believe you used a
bit of tobacco in it."
"Well we don't want you to talk that way
around here! !" continued the proprietor.
"My icecream is pure, and the man who
says it isn't tells bold lie!'
He went away again, and woman with a
long neck and sad face sat down and said
to the girl that she would take small dish
of lemon-ice.
1t was brought, and she had taken about
two mouthfuls when the stranger inquired:
"Excuse me, madam, but do you know
how this cream was made-have you an idea
that they grated turnip and chalk with the
cream?'
She didn't reply. She slowly rose up
wheeled around and made for the door. The
stranger followed after, and by great good
luck his coat tails cleared the door an in
stant too soon to be struck by a 6ve-pound box
offgs hurled with great force by the indignant
proprietor. As he reached the curbstone he
halted, looked at the door Of the parlor and
soliloquized:
"Tbere are times when people should infer
and there are times when they shouldn't.
suppose if 1 had asked that woman if she
thought they hashed up a saw-mill in the
cream she'd have felt circular-saw going
down her throat"
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