The daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1873-1877, 1875-07-30
Chr 1S)ailg Are'rs.
THE BOZ Ar TIE SODA FoUN-
TAIN.
A Startling Tale that he Told to a
!: Poor Old Lady who was Thirsty.
From the Detroit Free Press.

From the Detroit Free Press.
He was rinsing the glasses when the old
lady entered the store. TWAS hot weather,
and the soda fountain looked SO tempting
that she conquered her avarice and walked
over and told the boy that she would take
q glass.
DO you wish for Fly INIT" he inquir-
ed in whisper.
"A fly? ERASMUS! mol she replied, a
look of disgust on her face.
Just as You say. madam, he went on
as he drew some lemon syrup. People
are so different in tastes, ytu k2ow,-
Some object to flies and some don't. I'll
mix some pineapple syrup with this lemon,
and now will you have great deal of gas
and little water, OF great deal of water
and little gasp
I'm. purity thirsty she said.
Well. then you. want more water than
gas, and there won't be SO much danger of
an explosion
| ''Explosion?' she queried.
That was the word, Madam. We
have had but few such accidents here this
summer, and truly hope that we may
have no more, .rr a.-esr,s
Does soda water blow up foIks?"
THAT depends on the state of their
health. Some people could stand here
and drink all day, while others might get
the glass tipped up this way and boom
they'd GOT
!. "Bust?'
Yes 'nl-hy into a thousand pieces.
You never saw human being explode,
did you?"
Mercy, no!' =.
''Well.you don't have the least warning
They may be laughing or talking. and al
at once the store is filed with false hair
monogram carriers, bustles, cursets, feet
and rolled plate jewelry. 1t makes grea
muss around here, and if we hadn't three
tOf the smartest negroes in town to pick W
and sweep out we'd have to shut up thu
store for a whole afternoon after an explo
sion. -. ..- B.. f.
He stood with the glass in his hant
agitating the syrup and waiting, and sh,
said:
D 7 didn't suppose it was dangerou
: stuff" st.l 49,. a ~. ,.+-. r.
e well. as 1 told you, it depends on tn
r state of the system. If your liver is tor
: pid and your digestion impaired, one glas
e Of soda water would blow you higher thai
= Gilderoy's kite, and the coroner would b
+ lucky to find as much as your spectacle
W to hold an inquest on. IF your system
: all right, you might drink a hundre
glasses, and feel no disastrous effect
Now then, you'll have good deal of waite
and but little gas, eh?''
II She made deprecatory motion an
asked:
''Hows the stuff made?"
well, / can't go on and explain all II
process There's marble dust, acid, ga
sugar coated pills, giant powder, colpgr
and kerosene all mixed together and the
distilled, The distilled liquid is placed
a retort, where chemical action sepa
rtes it, and the gas forces it up separa
pipes"
kerosene and pills!' she gasped
'That's what said, Madam. You lot
innocent and honest, and | hope you VOL
say anything about it. tend this fou
tain in order to support widowed moth
and seven fatherless children. If "
should say anything I'd be discharged, al
if were discharged should commit 81
eide. You'll have plenty of water, eh
mo, sir, | won't" she replied. 81
you suppose I'd drink acids and kerosene
) Not in their crude state, Madam, b
, this process
81 don't care for the process!" she sna
ped; Il wouldn't touch the stuff
: st is mild beverage, Madam, and
: doc
well, I don't want any. When |
. to swallowing tar and lard and kerose
= you'll know it! S'posen | drank some a
exploded!'
Don't mention itr' he whispered
2 Don't speak ofit!'
I'm sorry for you young man,
{ there's a constable living right in sight
our house. and l think ZIP
You'll drive me to suicides gra
you meant"
: She lowered her spectacles, took l.
? look at him, and went out without reI
ing.