Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1875-04-16
HIItE AND THERE.



Euy iurther-duut
ringe no bel"
At funeral at Madison, Ne, lately, he
man who was buried was placed beside two
of his dead wives, while two living ones at
tended the funeral.
watering place correspondent write,
that " very lew hathers bathe at the West
End, whereupon Mrs Partirgton says she
90 had an idea they bathei all over d"
This Is the way a Pennsylvania paper
tells the story William Boyer, Of Amity
township, Bsrks county, stepped on n piece
of 1jatng ice, and slid into eternity.
Oae good little lston boy has made = 20
since the lst of January by taking rhubarb
aud cistor-oil when his mother wanted him
t..
Ola Blrjn RJthscAild gave a loui- TO a
charity fund. ani the person receiving it
said, Al, Monsieur Biron, you only gave
a louis aai your son gave five" :. And
reason enough, said the baron =. his faith
er is millionaire and I'm only poor or
phan.
A Dluhlry girl received porous plaster
10 q Gorgeous envelope bearing a monogram
At 10 clock that night, the owner Of the
monogram, standing di-robed before the fire,
preparatory to applying remedy to his
chest, tainted dead away on drawing from
paper mass of paper flowers and mottoes
There was no fire in the parlor Sunday eve
ming.
widow ia the blooming age Of one hun
ired and three years, OF Zinvald, Germa ny
vas lately married to widower of sixty
q Ia ,1,f.In
widow, now in his eightieth yelr. was pres
eut at the interesting ceremony.
There are Young men who cannot hold a
skein Of yarn for their mothers without
wincing, but Will hold a l2j pounds of
neighboring family for the best part Of the
night with patience and docility that are
certainly phenomenal.
\ Murray Hill clergyman actually " GOT
of in a recent sermon the following trans
formation Of an old saw g You may kind
IL guide the prancing stecd to the crystal
brook which bubbles down the hillside in the
summer sun. but You cannot eoerce HIN to
-tUop and slake his thirst in the silyery
stream if be be not willing to accept your
profered kindness
Burlington Hqclsgc \ man went into
for a little whiskey, raised the glass, bowed
10 himself in the mirror, and said d" Here
10 the next Alderman from the Third Ward. "
And twenty-seven men got right up and
bowed and said Thank YOU. thank
yol."
Nothing produces such mixed feelings in
person as to read ON the fy-leal of a book
which he has jGst taken from Sunday
school library, passage like the following
" A sweet celeStal-looking girl, whose face
is radiant with reflected light from the bet
ter land, always cuts poor figure chewing
peanuts at Friday evening prayer-meet-
ing"
The prepared pages for some country
newspapers, known As patent insides''
sometimes make ridiculous bunders. Not
long ago the cable announced the bad
news that 1.-THE Pope has had another chill. -
and shortly atterward came from forty-seyen
Wisconsin newspapers with patent insides
the announcement that '' the Pope has had
another child"
After shaking hands at the ferry dock the
other day. one colored man inquired of an
other 90 Didn't You marry de Widow
Jones about de first of Jinuary ?" " OATS
me- did. was the answer " but I've
dun left her" " Why, how's dat ?"
Well. de fust week she called me honey"
de next week she sulked around and called
me old Richards : the third week she cum
for me wil Aat-iron and broke two ribs,
and I'm gwine to keep right away from
dar.''
- Has de-e been a tall cullud wo,manheah
dis morning - inquired ar excited looking
negro "a he entered the Central station yes
terday. " Haven't seen any," answered
the sergeant. " Hasn't been no woman
heah to get her husband took up for hitting
her wid table leg - - Guess not-hayeu't
seen her, though She may drop in any time" "
- les she may, mused the negro "a he bat
toned his overcoat, and guess Ill Jess step
over into Kennedy and wait furder develop
ers''-Defr0u Free Press.
In Augusta, Me, no provision has been
made this winter for feeding and lodging
tramps. \ yagabonl went into "A police
station and wanted to sleep there. i" We
only lodge prisoners, said the sergeant be-
hind the desk. :" Iou only lodge prison
ers, =" repeated the yagahond meditatively.
That's all, was the reply " you have got
to steal something, or assault somebody, Or
something Of thar kind " - I've got TO
assault somebody, or something of that
kind, again repeated the yagahond, thought
fully. Then he reached across the desk with
his right arm, and knocked the sergeant of
his stool, saying, as the officer got up with
his hand to his eye, - Give me good bed
as you kin, sergeant. cause don't feel very
well tonight
1t has been supposed that in that unsteady
sort OF proceeding known a. the March Of
Civilization the simple and vigorous man
ners OF the ancient time had been LEFT be-
hind. A California tale would appear to
prove this a mistake. A San Franciscan
went from his home, like Eaoch Arden, and
stayed away long years, giving no sign.
The gentle Annie, left pining in solitary
state, at last believed him dead and welded
an entreating Philip. Bat Fnoch was not
dead one day. returning TO the town, he
found his Annie seated at another's hearth.
lie was not all unhappy his resolve up
bore him. Not weakly did he say. - | will
go hence and trouble her no more He was
determined to arrange affairs for that Philip.
and accordingly cried, " What. no Come
on Phillip came on-with two soft, per-
suaslye pistols. The gentle Annie, joying in
the sight, perceived her Enoch was unarmed.