Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1875-11-20
EP1scoPUs IN RURE.


Here is good one on the Episcopa-
iians, which, SO faras the writer is aware,
has never yet appeared in print and he
therefore contributes it for the benefit
of the Drawer. s.sss4.4
Away out West in State, in the
valley of the Mississippi, at a time not
very remote, when men were more in
tent OH g raking in the filthy than on
securing an interest in the bank of glory
everlasting, a jealous missionary OF the
persuation aforesaid found himself in II
community whose religious views were
no less manifold and contradictory than
was to be expected from persons repre-
senting every phase of denominational
life. Finding out the three or four COM
municants belonging to his Church, the
missionary gave notice ofan episcopal
service for that evening in the school
house, and cordially invited everybody
to attend OF course to the large major
itv of the inhabitants this was something
entirely novel-indeed, the passage of a
circus through the village, or the
actual halt of a minstrel troupe, could not
have created profounder sensation
and so at an early hour they commenced
gathering in knots of two or three, dis
GUESSING ssas to what kind of Il durn'd
thing it was goin' to be-"
Prominent among the female portion
of the ,throng was an aged sister, who
enlightened the others by stating it was
reg lar sarmint they were agoin' to
have, and no confounded niger tumb-
lin But the "sarmint" was to be after .
the '.Piscopal' fashion, of which she
had hearn tell when a girl, but had new
cr seen; and as it was something bad,
she believed, she was there to interrupt
him if he didn't preach orthodox.
Seating herself on the front bench, she
eyed the preacher closely, and just be-
fore he commenced the service, and
while arranging his robes, she beckon-
ed him to her. and informed him that
she was there to interrupt him if he
didn't preach orthodox. rss..r,
"Well madam,' he replied, {" you
won't interrupt me if do preach ortho-
dox?" q, e'-'i saa,e 24' l%d
..Oh no! that won't. ~ she earnestly
exclaimed, ''but if you don't though, I'll
interrupt and expose you for sure!''
Now, to make the exercises 60 off
with some degree Of Episcopal 'decorum,
the congregation wasilioeraily' supplied
with prilyer-books, and the few commu-
nicants were instructed. to :. circulate
among the people, Find the places for
the uninitiated, and lead the responses.
Then rose the minister, and with the
prodgal's resolve u will ariseand go to
nv father" ETC., commenced the service,
and won the old lady's heart for. it was
her favorite passage, read aid prayed
over often because of Il wayward boy.
Next in order was the ''eXhortation," in
which she heard nothing Objectionable
and then came the confession of sins.
Right behind her one of the COMMUNE
cants aforesaid united his voice with the
minister's, and had gotten as far as ''We
have erred and strlyed from Thy ways
| like lost sheep" etc., when the old
lady turned, and in an audible whisper
said, Hush! hush! that all right; let
the man have chance to speak! Low
ering his voice, he kept comparatively
quiet until the creed was reached, and
| here he thought, In the Credo l must
| set an example, and confess, Christ be-
fore men in the magnificent yet simple
i believe of all the Christian centu-
ries." -i' ssi
BY this time the self-appointed con-
servator OF orthodoxy was in no mood to
be trifled with, and so, while her hand
frmly grasped her umbrella, she said,in
tones sternly emphatic, ''Look a-hyar,
you durn'd cuss! didn't l tell you that
was all right? an hyar you have been
chatterin' every blessed mint since.
Now you ought TO be a ,hamed OF your
self, and don't want you to jaw any
more tonight That's orthodox enough
for any body!" g ssoa
The minister took in the situation. and
being Il practical man, pitched in."
and gave them a red hot eXtempore dis
course, which the old la.Iy, before she
was aware, had endorsed with a whole :
series OF honest .lmens. 9{T
AT. the conclusion she felt bound to
apologize for her conduct before and
during the service, and so. selling both
his hands, she thankedhims4as his Cos
pc! sermon in language as unique as
her manner was hearty: OH see, mis-
| ter, we warn sure of you; we only had
hearn tell of you 'Piscopais atore. an
we were kind of skcered like but it's all
| right now, am l want to tell you that |
had nothing to do with those rowdies
back there who Interrupted the service.
Now we've had Locus preachers here.
an we've had Circus preachers here.
but we've never had any OF you 'Pisco-
pus preachers afore; an you do preach
orthodox, an you can come back here
any time you want to, an preach all
| night if you choose-if you do wear your
shirt outside your breeches''-[ Editors Z
Drawer, Harper's Magazine for Decem-
ber. -'.....f,,.