Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-03-11
The st. Louis Globe must mean

| W as what she said.
The Waupaca Republican saws
''It looks as if the Democrats will
nominate Taylor for Governor again
this fall" Yes, and elect by at least
900 majority. You bet! How
we'd like to see Matthew pitted
against him.-Tri6olne.
30 would we. How he'd warm the
wax in the ears of Gov. Taylor.
Mathew would make the office respec-
table, and he could warm that dead
mummy by about $4,000 majority
Your side dursnt nominate Taylor,
Jack.
He laid down the basket of chips
he had pilfered, and, looking hard at
the urchin who lad been making a
target of him by shooting at him with
q ''nigger killer" said: "Whar wus
you raised, chile ?" "Schurcargo, >
said the young hoodlum. I'm the
Norf?" "Yeth, thur Il tort 80.
Suddern white folks children wuddunt
do like dat. Lemme tell you. honey,
manners gwine to carry you furder den
money. You hear me I"-DaUas
| (TeraS) Herald.
Why do physicians wage such
persistent war against proprietary COM
pounds, especially Tonic Bitters? Be-
cause they believe them to be secret
quack nostrums Of no reliability? On
the contrary, Wallace's Tonic Bitters
are recommended by nearly all physi-
clans, as the proprietor's publish the
formula from which they are compoun-
ded, whereby they can Judge of their
merits Sold by all druggists.
johnny was cleansing the floor of
the Palace Drug Store last week, and
we had to ''Ha, ha, right out to see
how he did it. He first made his
breaches impervious to water by the
use of castor oil, quantane su6icit, and
then he planked himself upon sponge
about as big as cheese box, while
Bill Kline's big dog was impressed
into service Johny's propeIlors an
swering for thills, and the way the
soap suds flew was damaging to weak
eyes. Johnny is regular labor saw
ing machine.
What very estimable woman in
our city don't know about Harvesting
horse isn't worth knowing. She
drove up to the Wood Co. Drug Store
the other day with the horse SO snarled
up it was impossible to tell which way
she was driving. She mad the breech-
ing on where the dutch collar ought to
have been, and vics Uersa. We guess
she was driving with the traces for we
could see no traces of them where
they belonged. The bits were under
the horses chin, and the crupper she
had buckled in to the belly band for a
martingale. She came from her house
to tbs store in about two minutes, and
when Frank tried to put things to rights
she said she thought maybe she had mt
got it on quite right.
In one of IT public schools yes
terday John ny and Jimmie got into a
quarrel and were called up for it. ''He
stole oranges" said Johnny, "and !
kin prove it." Il say I didn't" was
the prompt response, but he stole APP
pies and wouldn't give me the first bite y
''My dear children" said the teacher
kindly, 8 say no more. [ am fully con-
WINGED that you will be board of edu-
cation some day" -Newspaper Re
porter.
We publish the above simply to in
form our Eb. Haviland, and worthy
Mayor and Sheriff, that "a JOY forev-
or is gone to them in not having
made the acquaintance of that teacher.
To be sure 1.-The teacher said kindly
and no allusion was made to a First
National Bank, --nevertheless they
ought to have known that teacher"
Roll on great Pill of Aver, roll on
| Through miles emboWled roll
Roll on
Through those whose livers chafe the
soul
Through those whose feeble stomachs
fail
Through mesentaries waxen pale
Through all who live in aches and all
, Ever roll on
Roll Ger the prairies of the nation
For the sick and i'll of every station
Roll down the Andes-towering noun
! toinS