Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-09-15

HUHoB0Us.
Mashed Potaf0es-Resting over night
at q preteDtiOus hotel, and break
fasting very heartily there in the morn
ing, was an aged stranger, whose un,
speakably seedy attire, while it had
been unnoticed in the dark hours of
his arrival, excited the dire 'distrust of
the officials of the house, as revealed
by light. Sorely suspicious was the
superb clerk of the establishment, that
the latter was to be wrOnged of its dues
| by some trick or plea of this venerable.
shabby guest; when the latter having
dispatched his meal, presented himself
with an admonitOry cough, his doubts
became certainty.
II haye had my breakfast" began the
aged man. deliberately, 'and candor
cOmpels me to say
"Hand over your money, you old
rascal interrupted the clerk, in rage.
'As l was saying resumed the
stranger placidly, "candOr compels me
to inform you"@
"Call policeman ~ roared the clerk
to q bell-boy. "We'll have our twelve
shillings, or you go to the lookup"
The boy started on his errand with
seedy costume, who. taking his own
time to draw forth, from some obscure
pocket, q vast and greasy wallet, quietly
repeated:
''As i was saying-I have had my
MISUNDERSTANDING twelve shillings;
but candOr cOmpels me to inform you
that them mashed potatoes was lovely
perfectly lovely, sir: and don't mind
throwing in a shilling extra for EN-"
A -New Question IN AstroaOmy.-He
lives on West Adams street, and, like
most little boys, is given to asking a
great many questions. Wandering with
his mother in the dOor-yard the other
evening he drew her attention to one
of the bright luminaries of the sky, and
said:
MA, what star is that-the pretty.
nice one, there?n
That, my son." said the mother, sis
Mars
The next evening a boarding school
miss from over the way came in, as the |
family was enjoying the outdoor air. |
and our little astronomer at the favOra
BILE moment, pointing to the. celestial |
body named, inquired:
do you know what that star is y
"No-what is it 7" said the young /
lady.
That's Mars" proudly replied the
little five-year old.
as that sol 7" remarked the accom-
plished miss. innOcently-"Ma'sP Then
where is pas 2"
And the youthful star gazer, be-
wildered by the unexpected boarding
school conundrum, had TO give it up
Chicago Erening Journal.
Grammar and Clean Corners. A
female servant in the family of a gentle
man IN the Department of the Interior,
Washington, is allowed to make a
yearly visit to her old home in Rich
mOnd, Virginia. Last summer, when
she left, a substitute was employed, a
mulattc girl, who had been quite well
educated. She performed the duties in
a rather Indifferent manner. When the
regular servant returned she began
her tour of investigation to ascertain
how her work had been done. and was
disgusted at the evident want of neat
ness manifested every where. Her in
dignatiOn finally found vent in the fol-
lowing. to her mistress: "Tll tell you
what 1T is, Miss, you can't ge; gram
mar and clean corners out of the same
Which, if true. offers knOtty
problem in reference to the education
OF the race.-Hdrper's Mdgd-iRe.
A Matter Of Truth-Dibbs was re-
marking on tombstone inscriptions, and
said:
"When Pm gone from down here. I'd
just want nOthin' more on my slab than
the inscription. L know that my Re-
deemer liveth.' I
"1es, said old Turnpenny, who stood !
by. that would be as big lie as if you {
were TO write 1t on the back of them {
notes o. yOurn that I've been hOldin' for 4
seven years back ~ I
1t didn't suggest itself to Dibbs TO \
continue his tombstone remarks any I
further just then. .
The late DIR. Young, of Birmingham, :
having one day forgotten to bury the |
corpse of a dissenter, was accused of
neglecting the funeral, i'm consequence
,f the creed prOfessed by the departed. L
Il have heard" said a Quaker to the '
reverend gentlemen, 81 have heard, {
friend Young, that thou would'st not 5
)ury- because he was of the dis Il
'enters." YOU'RE misinfOrmed," re- il
,lied the other. Il should be happy to
,ury them ALL"
feep your name and address about
1Ou during this season of sunstrokes.-l
NeU York Commercial Advertiser. y
This is very cheerful advice. to be sure. !
)n the same principle. a fond wife ;
night say to her husband, as he leaves :
Ter for few hours, "My dear. please d
cave a couple of hundred dollars to u
)ay your funeral expenses with. There v
s no telling what may happen to you" o
At a small church in England re-
emily, upon the reverend gentleman I
announcing his text a respectfully at
,ired female entered the church, causing c
he hearers to look round to see who I
he latest arrival was, whereupon the a
reverend gentleman said: "Now, nv {
friends, just look at me; let me have Il
IOur attention, for those who come in &
ate are not worth looking at" t
The little daughter of a clergyman v
n New Haven, after having had charge a
II the baby all day while the folks were v
the house, asked at night e
I she might pray for what she wished. il
he request being granted, she said Il d
Ter usual prayer, supplementing it with
and please, Lord, don't let as have
my more house cleaning II
TirO cOnnhymeR went into hatier's q
o buy one of them hat. They were y
delighted with the sample. inside the
rown of which was a looking glass.
What is that forfr said one of the l
neD. The other, impatient at such a
display of ignorance, exclaimed, "What
orr why for the man who buys the a
lat to see how it fits him. a
A school mistress once asked a pupil 4
o tell what word the letter 5 double n
pell. The child was but dull, and SO 4
MISTRESS cries, "What is it, you Ounce, o
do with my eyes 7" "Oh yesl" says a
he child. quickly taking the hint; II d
now the word now, ma'am-S double i