Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1875-02-17
Trines.

RETICENcE may not be considered
sound sense, but it is good sense.
MARK Twain says the Sandwich
Islanders are generally as unlettered
as the back side Of tombstone.
HERE'S new view of the Christmas
stocking-The boy says he "set it, but
didn't catch anything.' r.,..
WHICH would you rather do for a
steady business, go to Wheeling Vir-
ginia, or go to Corning Iowa?
The season of fasting is we'll called
Lent, since the devout cannot "keep'
it more than 40 days.
WE never yet knew man who was
SO weak that he didn't feel strong enough
to carry the Comstock lode, if he could
get hold of it.
EIGHT hours should be days work
on dog-churn, the dog to be allowed
one day a week himself. Let every
dog have his day.
The Gardiner (Maine) Journal says
that there is a store in that place In
which there is a skull marked ''This
is drummer. Beware!" -
A MAN in Chicago is thus described
by a young woman in the same city
SHe is SO stingy that whenever he
smiles it is always at the neighbours ex-
pense."
, SPEAKING OF an editor who has said
that he always carried his life in his
hands, an Arkansas paper remarks that
it had always considered him very close
listed. ,a ..s
The Nevada ice dealers are already
preparing to double the prices next
summer, upon the ground that the crop
will be almost entirely eaten up by the
grasshoppers.
The Pittsburgh pa toy is a light
ming wagon with an insurance
agent perched in the rear. When the
child is tired of it, it can be blown up
with gunpowder, and please him and
his papa too.
"Wn1 that boy who threw that
pepper on the stove come up
and get present of nice
book, p said Sunday -schoolsuperintend-
ent lately; but the boy never moved.
He was tar-seelng boy.
OvERwoRKED. Cousin Kate-"are
you coming to skate with US tomorrow,
Fred?" Fred" Well, I don't know.
Awful busy just now. Have to be at
the office about l then there's luncheon
at 2, and don't get away till3. > Punch.
PERPLExED Schneider, who had made
a garment for youth, and found him
self unable to dispose of the surplus
fullness which appeared when trying it
on the young candidate, declared vocif-
erously "Dot coat is goot Is no fault
Of de coat. De boy is too tin. % 5ssaJ
! In former days, when roads were bad
and wheeled vehicles almost unknown,
an old laird was returning from
supper party, with his lady mounted
behind him, on horseback. On cross
ing the river Urr the old lady dropped
Off. but was not missed till her husband
reached his door. heparty whowere dis
patched in quest of her arrived just in
time to find her demonstrating with the
advancing tide, which trickled into her
mouth, in these words, 'tNo anither
drap, hot nor cauld -
A CLERGYMAN was endavoring to in
strHct one of his Sunday-school schol-
ars, plow-boy, on the nature of mi
racle. "Now, my boy" said ne, ''sup-
pose you should see the sun rising in
the middle of the night, what should
you call that2" "The mune, please,
sur ono, but, said the clergyman.
suppose you knew it was not the
moon, but the sun, and that You
actually saw it rise in the middle of the
night, what should you think ?"
"Please, sir, I should think it was time
to get up.''
IT is Pat, rejoicing on election
night, Milesian gentleman, who had
imbibed rather freely, started home
ward. On reaching Queen street he
thought he was at home, and, standing
in trout of lamp, he raped vigor-
o1lsly on the iron post and exclaimed:
Open the dure." No attention being
paid to his summons, he repeated the
knocking with threat Said he, 81
see light in the front windy beyant
there, an begorra, if yez don't open
the dure an let me out av the cowld,
I'll burst it in" He did kick, but it
was of no use, as the iron was harder
than his boots.
An army officer was riding across
Canal street, New Orleans, with an
Irish orderly, when they came opposite
the black statue there erected of
Henry Clay. Quoth the Irishman
''Does these fellers like anaggur we'll
enough to put up a statue of him in
the fashionablest street of the town %
"That isn't a niger, Tom replied the
officer; ''that's the great Clay statue
might [ go and look at it?' asked
| Tom.
Receiving permission, he rode up
close to the statue, climbed upon the
pedestal, and examined the figure care
fully on all side. Returning, he ex-
claimed, with every appearance of in
tense disgust
'sDid they tell you that was clay,
sir?"
eyes, replied the officer.
''Well, it's lie--it's iron
FROM late English paper we learn
that the celebrated Father Ignatius re-
Gently gave very sharp and doubtless
well-merited rebuke to a people to
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