The St. Cloud journal. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1866-1876, 1875-04-01
A scHoOLsIAsTER ABOUND LOOSE,

forty years Of age, looking as if he
had been drawn over dusty floor for
an. hour Or two, called upon one Of
the members Of the Board of Educa-
tion, and introduced himself as VIII
liam Cannon Harrison, Of Saginaw
County. He was politely received,
and he commenced business prompt
ly by saying: Z"
I'm a-]ooking for situation a. a
school teacher"
"Ah, ah!" replied the member,
wondering why the man wasn't look
ing for a wood-pile.
II could have brought pile of re-
commends so high" continued the
man, measuring with his hands, 'but
recommends don't amount to neth-
ing"
"And have you any school in
view ?" asked the member.
II want to get in here, in Detroit"
replied the man. "What wages do
you pay?"
II am afraid" began the men,
Der, when the schoolmaster interrupts
ed:
"Oh! we'll, I s'pose you pay going
wages, and that's all I can ask for; I
don't want to put on style and live
high, as I'm getting a leetle old and
ought to save money"
GAS I was going to remark" said
the member, when the schoolmaster
suddenly inquired:
"Do they allow licking in the
schools here? If they do, I'm the
man you want to dress the boys
down! I've had 'em come for me by
the dozen, and it would do your heart
good to see the wayI laid 'em! Why,
when had that school in Bay Coun-
ty, | thought nothing of licking thir-
ty scholars a day, besides hearing
twelve classes recite! I'm an old
screamer, l tell you, and there's fun
in me when you get me woke up"
Il hardly think commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up and said:
"Of course you won't take me un-
less / pass examination, but I hain't
afraid of not passing. I'd like to see
a word l couldn't spell! For in
stance: 'Catarrh : tC-a-t-a-r-r-h, ca
tarrh.' 'Dandelion ; 'D-a-n-d-e-l-i-o-n,
dandelion,' or try me on words of four
syllables. Iugubrious:' 'L-u-g-u-
b-r-i-o-u-s, lugubrious.' Oh! I can
knock the socks right of'n these
swell-head teachers and not half
try!'
Il should like to help you,' put in
the member, "but-
ooh! you needn't think I'm be-
hind on geography" interrupted the
teacher. '*For instance: What is an
isthmus? An isthmus is narrow
strip of land connecting two larger
bodies. Is the world round or fiat?
Round. Why Is it round ? Because it
is. Which is the largest river in the
world? The Amazon. Which is the
highest: mountain ? The Andes. I
might go on for seventy-fve days this
way, and then not tell you half I
know"
"7ou seem to be pretty well posted
in geography, but as wanted to
| telI-''
"And on grammar too !' exclaim-
ed the teacher, jumping up again.
"What is noun? A noun is the
name of any person, place or thing.
Give us an example: Man, dog, cat,
coon, goat, jack-knife, 6sh-hook, gate
post. What are the principal con-
functions? And, as, both, because,
for, if, that, or, nor, neither, either,
and so forth and so forth. Oh! I'm
right on the roof of the Westinghouse
when you sling grammar at mew
The member was getting desperate,
and as soon as he could get in word
he said:
II will take your name, and as soon
as vacancy"
"And | know arithmetic from cover
to cover" exclaimed the man, stand
ing up again. Il can 60 through
a haystack, and when you get to fac-
tions and cube-root I'm awful
weigh ton and half and still grow.
ing! 'Rithmetic's my favorite study,
and I'll give you $50 to find man
, who'll saw sums in two and plane 'em
down as quickly as I cant"
His speech took the wind out of
him, and the member managed to say
there was no vacancy at present; but
he would take his name and conside,
his case as soon as one occurred:
"I'd like to commence right OFF,
replied the man, "but I'm willing to
wait. Here's my name, and the min
it I get your letter I'll come down
a-fying. If you get me you don't
get much style, but you get solid, old
common sense and genuine education
You won't see scholars playing hide
and-coop around the wood-box O,
marbles on the foor-no, you won't
And he went down stairs.-Detro;a
Free Press.