Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1875-05-26
Mark Twain on Spelling.

Mark opened the spelling match in Hart
I ford, Wednesday evening, with the following
remarks;
Ladies and Gentlemen II have been hon
ored with the office of introducing the ap-
preaching photographed solemnities with
| few remarks. The temperance crusade
/ swept the land some time ago-that is, that
/ vast portion of the land where it was needed
but it skipped Hartford. Now comes this
/ new spelling epidemic, and this time we are
stricken. So ! suppose we needed the afilc.
ton ! don't say we needed it, for don't
see any use in spelling a word right--and
never did. mean | don't see any use ia
/ having a uniform and arbitrary way Of spell
ing words. We might as well make all
clothes alike and cook all dishes alike.
Ssmeness is tiresome variety is pleasing.
! ] have a correspondent whose letters are al
ways refrcshment to me- there is such a
breezy, uniettercd originality about his or
biography. lie always spells Row with a
large X. Now that is just as good as TO spell
II with a small one. 1t is better. 1t gives
the imagination broader field a wider
scope. 1t suggests TO the mind n grand,
vague, impressive, new kind Of a COW. SUI
perb effects can be produced by variegated
spelling, In the old times people spelled
just AZ they pleased. That was the right
idea. Iou had two chances at stranger
then. You knew a strong man from a weak
one by his iron-clad spelling, and his hand
writing helped you 10 verify yorr verdict.
Some people have an idea that correct
spelling can be taught-and taught to any
body. That is a mistake. The spelling
faculty is born in man, like poetry. music,
and art. II is n gift IL is talent People
I lao hus-s tlta "A 4
10 see a word once in priut, aud ii is forever
photographed upon their memory. They
can never forget IT, People who haven't it,
must be content TO spell more or less like
like thunder--and expect 10 splinter the die
tionary wherever their orthographical light
ming happens TO strike. There are one hun
dred and forty thousand words in the una
bridged dictionary. know a lady who can
spell only one hundred and eighty of them
right, She steers clear of all the rest. She
can't learn any more. SO her letters always
consist Of these constantly recurring one hun
dred and eighty words Now and then,
when she finds herself obliged to write upon
a subject which necessitates the use of some
other words, she-wel, she don't write on
that subject. have relative in New York
who is almost stbllmely gifted. She cau't
spell any word right. There is game called
Nerbarium. dozen people are each pro-
vided with sheet of paper, across the top
of which is written long word like kaleid-
oscopical, or something like that, and the
game is TO see who can make up the most
words out of that in three minutes, always
beginning with the initial letter Of that
word Upon one occasion the word chosen
was coiferdam. When time was called
everybody had built from five 10 twenty
words except this young lady She only had
one word-caf. We all studied a moment
and then said, why there is no in Golfer
dam" Then we examined her paper. To
the eternal honor of that uminspired, uncon-
scious, sublimely Independent soul be it said,
she had spelt that word "caf Ii any
body here can spell calf any more sensibly
than that, let him step to the front and take
his milk.