The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1875-01-02
WIT AND WISDOM.


Why is side-saddle like four-uuart
Jug Because it holds gallon.
Half the discomfort Of life is the result
OF getting tired Of ourselves.
Love without money is somethine like
patent leather boots without soles.
The charity that begins at home isn't
the kind of charity that covers a multi
tuds of sins"
Each beau plucks leaf from coquette,
90 that thorns only remain for the hus-
band.
Here hOw's this No stone marks the
grave Of Captain John Smith. Where's
the committee on sentiment Who'll hold
our ten cents l-Detroit Press
Rather than see it neglected thrifty
Eastern farmer is raising potatoes on Tom
faihe's grave.-Couner Journal
Artificial butter making has never prov
cd q success. The difficulty lies IN putting
in the hair so that they look natural. = TerTe
Haute GdS.
When we see a man begging his tobacco,
we feel like reminding him Of the old
adage, " that beggArs must not be chew
sers. ~ hItshdU Times.
An experienced teacher saws that Il is
impossible for Sunday school scholar,
with boil, 10 satisfactorily fasten his mind
down even upon the simplest exposition of
the scheme Of salvation.
According to the Milwaukee Nctrs. a
young lady asked a booksellers clerk If he
had " Festu5 :" /" No, was the answer,
but m afraid a boil is coming on the
back Of my neck
Augustn Cochin one day interviewed
Paris rag picker He SAID
What induces you to take up this &C
cupatlon r.
Pride, was the answer
How pride I"
F" Yes | a carver but | had a
great deal to do with my wages, and my
comrades ridiculed my clothes But l
chose new companions among the rag
plckers, who do no. laugh at me and am
happy IN my tatters.
A spread eagle orator wanted the wings
of bird to hy to every village and hamlet
in the broad land, but he wilted when a
naughty boy III the crowd sang out
You d be shot for goose before you had
flied mile"
When old Sam Crowder, down in Pike,
was running for Justice Of the Peace, his
wife, in anticipation If honors in store for
her. said
My dear, when you get to be Justice
of the Peace, what will | be r.
You, said old sam, you'll be the
same old fool you always was
At a public dinner in Edinburgh, in
a, ~. { "a L
Ministers, Lord Brougham (then Lord
ChanceIlor) exclaimed, extending his
hands, My fellow citizens u Edin-
burgh, after having been four years min
lister, these hands are clean" They hap
pened to be remarkably dirty which raised
litter amongst all who we're near enough
to see
heard bad words to-day. mamma,
little girl whispered To her mother one
Sunday evening
Where, my dear, and what we're
they 4 inquired the curious parent
In church, mamma, Was the answer.
The clergyman said HI and d over
and over.
"Oh, that's all right iii church, my
dear, but you must never repeat them out
of It, There is place for everything,
and that is the only one where those
words be used without Improperly"
Miss Kellogg says that American girls
have the sweetest voices in the world
When one Of them puts her mouth to a
hole in the fence and "hollers" To the girl
next door to fetch back them crimping
irons. it fills the air with melody.
Prudent mother. Don't look at Prof
Won Bungs 50, Dorah dear. or people will
think you are In love with him."
Dora (who Ia inconsosbe for the loss Of
her darling poodle -'' can't help it, ma
he is the exact image IF poor Mopsy.
Cook Ito fellow servant who has been
looking after new place. ~" Well, Liza,
will it suit HI
Eliza" Not il / knows it Why,
when | got there, blest if there WASH I
the two young ladies of the house both a
usin' of one piano vt the same time
Well, thinks |, this his coming down in
the world SO | thought | was best say
good morning P,o,ck
A venerable man called upon us lately
for the purpose, as ne expressed it, of get
ting us to put his Of oman on they pa
pers. They Of oman, said our autumnal
sorrower, is, but damme she's too frisky
for We. - Houghton (Mieh.) Morning Ga
Istts.
Before quarrelling with any friend,
pause to consider if your own conduct is
blamelesA and if yorR next selection
might not even be worse in some other
respects 1t is difficult 10 find white
rose in which bug does not find its
way.
A farmer in Oregon recently butchered
q COW In whose stomach Was found a large
quantity of buttons. There were many
large brass ones. which lead some Of the
neighbors to infer that she had eaten a po-
hceman at some period of her existence,
while large collection of white buttons
was almost proof positive that the animal
had been in the habit Of robbing clothes
lines. Ar Irishman. hearing Of the extra
ordinary discovery, came to ask if ian axe
wild silver cross was found in her
A young man who, from the secure re-
treat of a third story back room in a
Brooklyn boarding house, had leveled his
spy-glass at q neighbours clothes line, and
been startled by the exhibition Of fashion
able underwear, Immediately wrote to his
sweetheart that circumstances too numer-
GUS to mention had induced him to aban-
don all thoughts of matrimony.
Mr.. John X. Dos Passes. in lecture
before the Medice Legal Society few DAYS
aimee aaid that alnulr lint curalv ba tav