Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1875-04-12
A sCHooLMAsTER AROUND
LOOSE.

AeAtf jas VI ~ AN~NaS - - ~ ~-
been drawn over dusty floor for an
hour or two, called upon one of the men,
bers Of the Board Of Education and in
trodueed himself as William Cannon
Harrison of Saginaw county. He was
politely received. and he commenced
business promptly by saying;
I'm a looking for situation as a
school teacher"
"Ah. ha !" replied the member, won-
dering why the man wasn't looking for
a woodpile.
al could have brought pile Of rec
ommends so high" continued the man.
measuring with his hands, 'but recom-
mends don't amount to nothing"
And have you any school in view ?"
asked the member.
IL want to get in here, in Detroit,
replied the man. What wages do you
pay ?"
I'm afraid" began the member,
when the schoolmaster interrupted:
"oh, well, s'pose you pay going
wages, and that's all can ask for.
don't want to put on style and live high,
as I'm getting leetlc old and ought to
save money"
"As was going to remark" said
the member, when the schoolmaster sud-
denly inquired:
DO they allow licking in the schools
here ? If they do, I'm the man you
want to dress the boys down I've had
EN- come to me by the dozen, and it
would do your heart good to see the way
l laid 'em Why. when | had the school
in Bay county l thought nothing of lick
ing thirty scholars day. besides hear
ing twelve classes recite ! I'm an old
screamer, | tell you, and there's fun in
me when you get me woke upl
II hardly think" commenced the
member again, when the schoolmaster
jumped up aud said:
"0f course you won't take me unless
| pass examination. but | hain't afraid
of not passing. I'd like to see a word
| cOuldn'tspell For instance, 'Catarrh.
'C-a-t-a-r-r-h, catarrh.' 'Dandelion.
.D-a-n-d-e.l-i-o dandelion. or try me
on words Of four syllables. 'Lugubrious,'
LIN q " h- l"c..h-;~---' o.
can knock the socks right off'n these
swell-head teachers and not half try !"
81 should like to help you" put in
the member, but"
"Oh you needn't think I'm behind
on geography" interrupted the teacher.
"For instance What is an isthmus
An isthmus is narrow strip of land
connecting two larger bodies. Is the
world round or fat Round. Why is il
round? Because it is. Which is the
largest river in the world? The ANA
zon. Which is the highest mountain ?
The Andes. | might 60 on for seventy
FIVE days in this way, and then not tell
you half know p
You seem to be pretty well posted
in geography, but as wanted to tell"
"And on grammar. too J" exclaimed
the teacher. jumping up again. "Wbat
is a noun A noun is the name Of any
person. place or thing. Give US an ex-
ample Man. dog. cat. coon, goat, jack
knife fsh-book, gate post What are
the principal conjunctions? And. as,
both. because, for. if, that, or, nor nell
ther, either, and 50 forth aud 50 forth.
Oh I'm right on the roof Of the meet
ing-house when you sling grammar at
me -
The member was getting desperate,
and as soon as he could get in a word
be said
II will take your name. and as soon
as yacancy-"
And know arithmetic from cover
10 cover :" exclaimed the man, standing
UP again. Il can 90 through the tables
like lightning through a haystack. and
when you get to fractions and cube root
I'm awful weigh ton and bali
aud still growing 'Rithlnetics my IA
yorite study. and III give you fifty dol
lars to End man who'll saw sums il
two and plane EN- down as quickly a.
; can =
His speech took the wind On. Of bin
and the member managed 10 say there
was 10 vacancy At present bat he would
: take his name aud consider his case a
; soon - one occurred
I'D ike 70 commence right Of re
piled the nan. but IN willing 70 wait
!. Here's ny name. and the mint ] gei
! your letter I'll come down a flying. 1
! you get me you don't get much style
bot you get solid old common sense ane
genuine education. You wont see sehol
are playing hide-and-coop around th'
: wood box or marbles Oh the hoor-Do
you won't"
And Re went down stairs.
. CUsE FoE To0rHAcHE-it j. saie
that drops prepared as follows will cur
The worst t0othaebe ever known; On
), ounce of alcohol. two dFaehms cayenn
- -. ......na k1rnanna al LEI /