The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1875-02-18
NO.. 81.

nv. 81.
=
THREE sisters Of Dubuque, are so set in their,
| temperance principles that they nl,k. the hir
Ell glrl smell the breatllss of every gentleman
caller and report the result before at;,n;tt,rcn
| to the parlor can be obtained
Now, George. you must divide the cake
nohofiDiy with your brother Cllrles.'' What
Is hono,ably mother" 1t mean, to oiv,. hin,
the largest piece" '''rhen, mother, ia rather
Charley Aiyeuld divide it,
Somehow, one can't help thnk;ng OF t,,,.t
eH'zen OF Syracuse who has thirteen children.
ali girls. Probably there is not a corner of te
p'tfeaa III that mans house that has.a't Il cold
cie% Oh spruce gum sticking to it.--nH. Sent.
1t looks badly to see a dog prcce,linn ,s
master down the street, and clsiiy turn down
| the stairs OF the first saloon hr.anprcnchcs
i5 shows there Is something wrong, something
lacking, deplorsble tendency Oh the part 81
the dog.
A lawyer once asked a hotel keeper tbs fol-
| lowing question: If Il man gives YOU n linn.
dred pounds to keep for him, and dies what do
you 90. DO you pray for hin,:'' No, sii, replied
the landlord, Il pray Tor another j;lst like
| lin. .''e
During the trial the stldge called q witness.
70 one answered, and an elderly man arose
| and solemnly said she is gone ..Where has
he gomez" asked the Ju,ige. il, no teil.l.r tone
- don't know, but he Is de;l,l. was the g,,ar-
ded answer
Albany has had her noblcmen, too: it WAS
Count Dlrli. OF olisc he was a rote in
grain. BY any other name lie did not smell as;
wheat, so when they detected lis impositoh.
he acknowledged the corn. ANA left to escaj,;-
a thrasIing. -Det1oH Tribune.
"What are you after my dea.:' said a grand
mother to little boy, who was slid ng ioiiy
the room and astiag a fugitive glance at :.
gentleman WHO was paying avsit Il am try,
ing, grandn. to steal papa's hat out OF the.
room without letting the gentleman see it; he
wants him to think he's oi.."
One OF the reason why Fl s!lt frequently oc-,
ours IN Montanna churches is that Willie the.
pfeacher Is praying, the congregation sit OLE
right od hosS!' Bully for you.'' He's book,
siarp! etc Sometimes the ministers get
rlied and theirs where the disturbance comes
in.--Hlwaukec News.
The latest chrome story comes from ,lowu
East where ounsay-sciiool teacher said TO-
her pupils: 'Jollily, why dons you invite your
friend Billy to come to Sabbath school viii,
yo'l!'' JOHNNY looked up with !; grin f,tll OF in
tehsloh ana equally full OF teeth and said: II
the c'ass SOS you c!n get q chrome Tor a new
Scholar
10 liley miss me at lone-tlo they miss M:
would be an assurance so dear
10 know that my name was forgotten.
As though had never been there,
10 know that the tailor and landlord
AUG the banks where my paper, is uc,
Aila host which now cannot nlv.it.J;l,
~ ii "a, Dallialied me quite from their view.
10 s!ley MISS me at hone--dot they mis-, Ii.e:
hen the narket-for money is tjylt.
And collectors i'll hast are pursuing
mere debtors ty day and by nigh?
do the friends who OF &c loaned me Il ..iiftv',
And others who loaned NE ten
leave a sigh OF regret when tl!ey Miss MS
Dofhey miss me At Iionieg;o tiiay Hiss nic:s
when 10 longer Pm seen upon Change,
And de those who were want to assist nc
Say, His conduct internally stranger.
Does the Syloch WHO lossl,cd me his money
10 bear lle to regions unknown.
icok Ill vain for OCCASION to dan ne
And Wish again We're at lion;?
But know that my memory Tigers
A round the dear place as ROAM;
And while I've my wits and my creepers
they'll ss..ss nle-t.lcy' Il miss ne at
An old fashioned couple WHO were waiting
at the Central depot recently to contin,,,.
street and gazing around when the woman cspi
Ell one OF the street cars of tie city railway
line, Which happened to be empty at the mo-
ment. That's a boss carr replied her li,,>-
tant to her querr,. $50 that's a boss car eir',
size unused, mounting the step and booking in.
Well, now who'd ever think that thcy'e 20
and fix up cars lis nice rs this to ride hoses
n!'-tres Press.
"a Laaven>worth paper is abusing Judge
sherry because he, is not stolt.-N y. Mail
Perhaps lie would not beer good Judge if h.
were not ort-ly.-Com. Bulletin. Nothing
ales the Judge, only lie will not supporter pa
per he does not likc.-I5oston Advertiser. II
none OF tliese comments make the .J;li-o Wc;,.
~ Of life lie is u rum un.,'-St Louis Ey;.,,..
cail. After all, the papers shouldn't lie
aboiit it ii the Judge is good de-c:lyr.-i.o,l-
isville Saturday Reqiew.
AT dancing party i'll western Kentucky the
ether night, to Wliieh several women cailc Will,
their Babies, some young men c,lnyed tic
clothes OF the infants while their D lrents were
dancing and mixed them lip generally. The
blowing day their Was Il great roy, and as
the families lived miles apart, it took scycfa
days to unnliN tie children. a. j.~e4e5 ,sG
The Legislature of Pennsylvania is ado 1t to