The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1875-01-15
Ia.RKINs IN NEVADA.

FrOm me chicago Tribune.

Z p IN the FAR west
Fron me chicago Tribune.
The fashion reporter oFan Aus
tin City, Nevada, paper describes
the belle Of the masquerade bali il
the following astounding language
ssThe most gorgeous. stunning
b igh-toned. richest, fastest class
est, incest or any other adiectiv,
for costume in the outfit wa
that worn by Miss frankie Clarke
She was the hifalutinest. gayest
and galusest-dressed gal N TIT
room. She appeared in the room
as q page, and she was page tha
any man would leave another tt
read. Both in cOstRms and action
she was IS perfect as q big sun
flower"
A couple OF days after the ap
pearance Of the notice into the
editorial room of the paper stalk
ed young man. His brow wrap
ped in thunder, his body in . suit
Of tweed, and his hand clasped 6
big lump Of hickory. He pulled &
paper out Of his pocket, and point
ing his finger to the paragraph
said: 81 want ter see the man q
wrote that ere" 81 am the indi
vidual," replied the person
"What did yer go and do it for
that's wat I want to know? go
because I thought you'd like to
see your girl made out one of the
most bewiching females that was
ever set on earth to keep a man
from his hash and drive balmly
sleep from his pillow" "Now,
look hele. Ever since that was
published / can't get word out
on her. She sets in front of the
looking glass and keeps a gain
on herself, and maxim squirt eyes
at her dress, and puckerin' up her
mouth, and actin as if she were
q blasted sight better'n anybody
else. 1 want this ere thing fixed,
or there'll be an editors situation
vacant" He looked significantly
at the club. For q moment the re-
porter stood in profound thought;
then his face frightened, and he
said, "Tll fix it in the ::next weeks
paper. After you've seen the next
issue, call and tell me the result"
The young man left. In the next
weeks paper appeared the follow
ing paragraph:
ga CoRRECTIoN.-We made Q
grave mistake in our issue of last
week. In our description of the
masquerade ball, we accidentally
substituted the name of Miss
frankie Clarke for that of Miss
George Waller. Any one who is
acquainted with the flrst-named
lady must have discovered the er-
ror. It is true that she appeared
for what was intended for a page,
but she looked a good deal more
like a boot-black in hard luck.
She is not good-looking, her &C.
tons were absurd, and every man
in the room kept as far from her
as possible. She thinks of NOV
ing out of this community, as it is
unappreciative. When she goes
she will be escorted out of the
town by a brass band. The peo-
of Austin will gladly miss her from
among them.
The next day the young man
entered the Office. In his hand he
bore a rifle, and his belt was orna-
mented with big six shooter and
a tremendous bowie-knife. He
sailed up to the reporter. 81 look
warlike, don't I? I don't feel q
bit like fightin', you bet. You
jest oughter have seen her when
she read that correction. Why,
she jest danced . jig with madness
and sot down and cried, and then
she come up and threw her arms
around my neck, and said: CAR
thur, do you love meT You bet
your bonnet on that said I.
We'll, never expect me to speak to
you again if you don't go and kill
the Teller wat writ that SANDER
In course / promised. And here
l am to kill you.'' He laughed
long and heartily. After q time
he quieted down, and the reporter
said: II suppose, in order to
make it all right between you and
your girl, I've got to become a
corpse. Pll do it. Sit there a
minute and I'll fix the business. {"
He sat down at q desk, and scrib-
bled away for a few minutes, and
then returned with a sheet of pa
per on which was written:
"OBTTUARY.-It grieves us to be
compelled to announce the sudden
death of Mr.. Charles Keller, the
young and talented fashion editor.
In moment Of mental alteration
he had slandered an estimable, ac-
complished and beautiful young
lady of this city, named Miss Fan
ME Clarke. Yesterday her be-
trothed called at this Office and
asked for the author of the SIAN
der. and, when he discovered him
shot him dead on the spot. This
paper will be unable to give fash
ion gossip hereafter. We find it
to fill the place left va
cant by Mr.. Keller. Though era
tic, he was a man of kindly heart,
and could listen more attentively
to stale stories, and drink more
bad whisky, than any man in Aus
tin. r. /. p"
That's your sort" said the in
furiated lover. 'sThat's the thing
TO a T. Come along, Mr.. Corpse,
and hist q little lightning" The
lady was satisfied when the para
graph appeared in the next issue
Of the paper, her lover was regard
ed as q hero, and the Austin pa
Per ceased TO give reports OF fash
ionable balls.
'.Do fishes hearP' is q mooted