The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-02-12
Police Court Sketches.
WHEN THE PANsIEs BLOOM.

WHEN THE PANsIEs BLOOM.
ffThis is case which can be called,
tried, and disposed of inside of three
minutes" remarked his honor, as
Charles Taylor leaned on the railing
and regarded him with an appealing
look.
"I couldn't get nothing to do" re-
piled the prisoner.
"I hear you couldn't, but if I were
young an eighteen years old, in sound
health, and the fat on my ribs was an
inch and half thick, I'd find work
enough to pay for my board, or I'd slide
off the wharf and make business for
coroner."
GIVE looked all around" said the
prisoner.
"Well, we won't argue the case. I
know that work is scarce, but I also
know that there are dozens of fat loaf
ers around this town who wouldn't turn
grindstone two hours for a weeks
board. You are charged with vagrancy,
are guilty, and TIL give you sixty days.
That will let you out about the time the
pansies bloom, and if you can't find
work then I'll send you back for six
months"
The prisoner shuffled off into the
corridor, wiping tear from his nose, and
was SO ugly that Biiah had to draw the
crowbar at him before he would sit
down on the water cooler and wait for
the Maria to drive around.
"AND HE WAS so YOUNG"
He was only twenty-five, and the |
bloom of youth on his nose had scarcely |
been eaten into by the rust of man
hoods tribulation. He was found
drunk en- the sidewalk, lying on his
back, arms folded across his peaceful |
breast, and the pale, cold moon cast a
snowy shadow across his face.
"Ever here before?" asked the court. |
"Never."
"And you feel powerful mean over
this p
"I do"
"And you won't be found in such
situation again ?"
"Never."
"Well, be very careful of your con-
duct in the future, young man. You
are just budding into manhood now,
and if you are picked up drunk at
twenty-five what may not happen to
you at forty-four? I don't advise you
to carry an icicle around in your pocket,
or to refuse prescription because one
of the ingredients is burnt brandy, but
as q general thing it will be best for
you to mind your own business, let in
to1icating drinks alone, and pay your
board bill in advance. This is all, sir
there's the way out"
"s'CATW
Exclaimed some one in the audience as
the name of James Kitten was an
nounced.
His honor rose up, looked around
him, sat down and said:
THAT remark mustn't be remarked
again.
Mr.. Kitten had also been drunk. He
said some one drugged him, but it was
pretty evident that he took the fluid in
the usual way, and that it had no more
than the usual effect on him. When
found by the officer he was hanging to
a tree-box near the city hall and shout
ing:
Lucinda, 'fu don't open that door
I'll knockyerheadoffi !"
"Mr. Kitten, such conduct is unpar-
donable in man of your years" said
his honor, "and it will be altogether
more harmonious for you if you keep
away from me hereafter. I don't re-
member having met you before, and 1
don't want to see you second time. l
can let you off this time, but if your
faded form confronts me again within a
month, I'll make it so lively for you
that sitting down on a red hot penny
will be q cool position compared to
your s.
cam sent up?" asked the prisoner.
"No, sir-you are sent out and you
can step along as soon as Bijah finds
your hat
HE WASN'T.
Just before the "last man" was called
q tall, red haired wo nan wearing No. Z
shoes and straw bonnet, and her eyes
showering out sparks of anger, attracted
the attention of the court and asked:
SIS Josephus Andrew McDuff in
here?"
Biiah lodged into the corridor, made
inquiries and then answered her in the
negative.
"WelI, all I want in this world is to
get my paws on him p calculated the
female, and she strobe out, head up,
heels striking hard, and her brow cor
rugated until it resembled the grooves
in a washboard. The boys caught the
cue and followed her around the corner,
singing:
Oh the wife of McDuff,
She's tall and she's tuf,
And she'll make it rough
For Josephus McDuff.
Tuff-ruff.
Mr., and Mrs. McDuff.
a