The star. (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1874-1875, 1875-04-30
GOSSIP.
GOSSIP.
o why does Winter last so late?--
We pray him gone, and Spring appear;
With longing eyes In hope we wait


Spring has some trouble with its
SHOWS.
Short horns are preferred by temper
ance Changers.
A New York man has increased II lbs.
In fifty days in Florida.
There Is a horrid rumor OF crinoline,
restored, which is good news for hungry
goats but rough on humanity.
The man who was carried away by a
string band Is supposed TO have died be-
cause 1t was drawn too tight.
A Grand Jury in Ohio has undertaken
to suppress church fair rafles, as well
as other rafies not considered fair.
Wnen Dan Rice can command salary
OF $lO,OOO per season, it's no wonder that
Harvard professors are discouraged.
The Adventists have considerably ar
ranged TO have the world come to an end
In April, this year, before moving day.
Judge Nelson has ordered six-inch
pipe to be laid from where Shearman sits
TO the main sewer, to carry away the
tears.
Don't locate your grandfather s'in the
front rank" in the Concord and Lexing-
ton fight. That was the one that re-
treated.
A grocer, when complained to about
selling bad eggs, said, ''At this season
the hens ain't well, and very often they
lay bad eggs"
Oregon has already spoken for a place
for board at the Centennial. She pro-
poses to send on fir plank one hundred
ieet long and twelve feet wide for exhi-
bltiOn.
Bismarck is lucky fellow. Besides
being Prince, wearing good clothes,
and having lots of money TO 90 to cir
euses and horse races; he has had cab
Dage named after MIN.
An economical Connecticut girl re :
fused to be married by the clergy man OF
her lovers church because an0tner par
son owed her ~ for knitting stockings,
and was too poor to pay cash.
The teacher of a district school is in
the habit OF asking his pupils to define
the words which they are given to spell.
The boy who had Io wrestie with the
word ''ulcer" said with a good deal OF
confidence, that 1t was President Grants
first name.
"rhere was an old family fuel between
tlem," was what a witness in chicago
murder case said to the jury. The
Judge asked her if she didn't mean
''Ieud," and she asked him who was tell
ing that story.
Mrs. Sweetly-"But why are you max
ing so many dolls pantaloohs, my dear
Mrs. Jinxby" Mrs. .Jihxby-"T "These are
not dolls clothes, my dear: they are for
the poor frogs who 60 exposed in tile
water in our pond"
''Are the young ladies of the present
day tit tor Wives?" asked d lecturer Of his
audience. "They are fit for husbands" !"
responded a feminine voice, ''but the
trouble is that you men are not fit for
wiyesW Applause.] .,....,.....
The boy and girl Wnom Mayor Hunter
refused to marry last week are at present
the victims Of q settled rilelanchoiy
Several heroic attempts to revive them
| by offers of peanut candy and doughh uts
have ignomfniously faffed.
An Italian has invented an EARTH
quake indicator. Wien a trem mbl ing OF
me earth occurs his machine immedfate-
ty fires 0f gun. Persons so warned
then have time to run into the streets
and be killed by falling buildings.
Was eGfrontery ever more sublime than
that of the noble Cheyenne who, when
impelled to 60 out of his annual raid and
sn6ot soldier or two, first takes the
precaution TO house his squaw and pa
pooses comfortably at the nearest Gov
erninent agency?
These are the days when the thrifty
housewife goes into the garret, the wood
takes therefr0m all the old bustles, hoop
skirts and boots that sne can find, aud
quietly throws them over the fence into
the neighbours yard.
SO, your shameful lawsW said Mrs.
Henry, when she found she couldn't sell
her property without John Henry's join.
ing in the deed. "A woman can't own
hef own soul." Madam" said John
Henry, gravely, "you are mistaken. In
this free country woman can own any
thing but her age"
A Bakersfield man dropped into the
POst-otice and wanted to know how m ch
merchandise he could send in one parce /.
''Four pounds" was the reply. Tnen he
blandly said he thought he would send
out to Arizona four pounds of those red
Guilty in getting out of the door in time
to dodge a mail bag.
A Brooklyn lady, whose husband has
an unpleasant habit OF railing at her, has
hit upon the plan OF calling in her SER
wants when he begins to let out his tenn
per, and then turning to him and saying
sweetly: "NoW, my dear, please 20 on
with your remarks." He doesn't 60 on,
at least not as he began
Cardinal Points to be. Observed on my
Return to England, (from the notebook
Of C-rd-n-l LINING. E"Not to wear my
red hat in wet weather, nor when Plus
p. sends over new bull; to give up
wearing paper collars; to send back to
Whalley the cotton umbrella borrowed
from MIN; to invite Messrs. Moody and
Sankey to supper; to write to Mr.. Spur
geon as to precedence; to ask Madame
Tussaud not to put me next to Kenealy."
Punch.
Some men can do so such a disagree
able thing in such a way as to remove
more than half the sting. Thus George
smith, who worked as,l BY mig nights ts in Trey
the wife OF his friend Anderson. first
made arrangements with his employer
that Anderson should be promoted to
the position he vacated. The contract
was fulfilled all around, and Anderson,
with his increased wages, has bought a
new house and is looking for q young
wife.
mn = u