Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1875-10-14
Plckings and Steallngs.

Bah. " said John lIenry's hopeful To Il
small boy who wanted to whip him; you
couldn't lick a postage stamp"
Milwaukee News: A JaueSville we'd
ding Was put Oh half an hour because the
girl had her pull-bhck drcs, 50 tight that
she couldn't walk down stairs till they let
out three reefs IN ii.
Il would advise you 10 put your head
into dye-tub, IL rather red. said i.k-
er to sandy-haircd girl. II would aayI>e
you To- put yours Into An oven. rs rather
-oft." said Nancy.
II lived with him nineteen years" saws
au Indiana applicant for divorce. land AL
the clothes he bought me wa, 4 bunch OF
hair pins and i tooth brush" You can
see by this what 4 hard time she had to
keep dressed.
short time since two young lalics
were accostrd BY gypsy who told them
that for 'ifty cents she would show them
II c.r husbands faces in pail Of water.
which being brought, they exclaimed ::
w only see our own faces :" Well, !"
S.id the old woman those viii be your
husbands when YOU are married.
A Scottish student. supposed to be de.
fcicnt IN Judgment, was asked by pro-
lessor. IN the course Of his examinations
how he would discover fool. BY the
questions he would ask" was the prompt
and highly suggestive reply.
They have learned now no. to utilize
grasshoppers out west" Have tney. IN
decd querried the fair dam>el How
DO they do il z "Well, they make lager
beer out Of the hops. said the youth grave
ly. You don't say So"
A little girl went into neighbours
house one day. and soTe apple-parimgs lay
on a plate on the table. II smell aplle,
Yes, the lady replied,'I guess YOU smell
these apple-parings on the plate" No, "
She said, faint them smell; l smell
whole apples
Ma. aint Mrs. Parsons nice woman
thought"
Il guess so-why:" she answered.
because, when | was over there tbi.
morning she put her hand on my mead. like
this, and she almost cried as she sad
"foor. dear boy. how could your father
ever thInk OF marrying that sharp nosed.
Vinegar-iaced Old maid for n second wife -
A boy was standing on the corner of
st. Clair and Monroe streets. Toledo. with
his face all scared. and torn bleeding A
gentleman thinking something terrible had
happened, stepped up aud said
We'll, bub, you look pretty well used
up, what's the matter?'
''Oh. nuthin'," replied the boy. "onIy |
went 1" blow into my dogs ear this mora
In an didn't git my face out of the wav in
time. That's ALL"
TWO young men out riding were passing
farmhouse where Il farmer was irving 10
harness an obstinate mule. Wont he
draw" said one OF the men. '.Of course"
said the farmer, hell draw the Intention
OF every fool that passes this way The
young men drove on.
SATISFIED THE LAwYER-..Sir." asked
an attorney of witness OF a San Francis
co court, who was testfying in case OF
assault and battery. ''have you ever been
in this court before:'
Yes, sir" replied the witness, [ have
been here often"
An. have been here often. have you:"
said the attorney in triumphant tone
Now. tell the court what for.
'Well, replied the witngss, slowly. II
have been here ut least dozen time, to
see you To try aud collect that tailoi's bill
you owe me"
The other evening when Harper'> train
was approaching Rockland, it parted in the
middle, and the bell-rope snapped off like
thread. the end of it stricking an old lady
from Jasper on her bonnet and setting her
nerves 10 play. what on eartb's the
matter" she exclaimed. "Oh. the trains
broke in two replied gentleman who
sat in the next seat. Ugh! should saw
So" the old lady said. looking AT tie
broken bell-cord "Did they s'pcse such
nasty. trifling little string like that would
hold the train toge.herT-fDayton Demo.
crat.