davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
His Looks Deceived Him.

lie did not look like joker.
One to SIT and study his face would
have said that his soul was so lost
IN melancholy that he didn't care
whether the sun set at noon or
staid mp until I o'clock. He enter
ed the ladies sitting room at the
Central Depot, walked up 10 lady
whose husband had lett the room
about ten minutes previously and
calmly inquired:
Madam, your husband went out
to see the river din't he ?
Yes-whyY she asked, turning
pale IN an instant.
'ile was tail man, wasn't he ?
lie was, she replied rising up
and turning still galer'
Had red harY p
ole had-oh what has happen.
ed?
Weighed about one hundred aud
eighty pounds p
Yes -ycs-where is he-where
is my husband she exclamcd|
Couldn't swim, could he p
Hes drowned-my husband is
drowncdn she walled.
Had silver watch chain p con-
tinucd the stranger.
where is my husband-where is
the body p she gasped.
30 not get excited, madam.
Did your husband have on Il gray
suit
Yes oh my Thomas my
Thomas
and stoga bootsY
Let me see him-let mo see
him : she erred.
Come this way, madam but do
not get excited. There, is that
your husband 4 ross the street at
that pcnut stand ?
Why, yes, that's him; that's my
husband ? she exclaimed joyiully.
4 thought you said he was drown.
ed
NO, madam, | did not. | saw
him buying peanuts and | thought
it my duty to say to you that pea
nuts are not healthy at this season
Of the year,
lie slid softly out, and she stood
there and chewcd her parasol and
stared after him rs it he were a
menagcrlc on wheels.-T Detroit
Free Press.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Be Polite.

An anecdotc Is related of the late
Hon. Geo. McDufiie, Of South Car
olina, which we take pleasure in
rcprintIng and commencing to our
readers. When very little boy
George was one evening holding II
calf by the ears, while his mother
MIXED the COW. A gentleman
passing by said Good evening,
my little SON"
: "Georgc returned, "Good even
ing, SIR with so polite bsw' as
to attract the gcntleman's atteD-
tion, who said
"Why did not you pulfoT your
hat, my little friend ?"
$50 will sir, said George,i you
will get down and hold tho calf for
me-" .........
His politcncss and his shrewd
remark were the making Of him,
for the gentleman, who WAS rich,
said to his mother
"Your son is bright boy, aud
will, one day, il he is properly
trained, make a great man. lfyou
allow me, | will educate hlm and
give him II start IN the world"
Georges mother was only too
glad TO thank the gentleman for
his kind offer, and TO let him take
charge OF her son, who became IA
distinguished man; serving his
country at different times as SEN
ator in Congress and as governor
Of his native state. ..s
Boys and girls, would you be
loved and respected BE polite 10
all-tho rich as well AS the poor /;
and never fail to be respectful to
the old. BE polite ut homo, for
politeness must begin at home. 1t
has been truly said, that nothing
makes ;hc young so lovely, as an
habitual respect and dutitul depor'-
ment toward their friends and su'
perlors. Such conduct makes the
plainest face beautiful, and gives
/ to every acton nameless but pc
culiar charm.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Knife and Fork FlirtatiOns.

y. To drop your knife means, am
bdIy bored.
: To eat with your knife means
am not posted.
To drop your fork means | am
desperate in love.
TO wipe your knife on the table
cloth Means, all right.
To stir your coffee with your
fork means, how sweet you are.
To eat your soup with Il fork
means, you are very beautiful.
To whct your knife on your fork
means, You see am sharp.
To cut your mouth with n knife
means, | am very impatient.
TO pick your teeth with fork
means, | ana the pick Of the lot.
70 wipe your nose on a napkin
means, am almost crazy.
To scratch your head with fork
means, itch for an acquaintance
with you.
To dip your own knIle in the
butter means, | am not very par
ticuIar you see.
TO let your knife slip and spat.
ter the gravy out OF your plate
means, | am exceedingly happy TO
be here.
To dIaw the knife halfway down
your throat means, | am enjoying
myself very well, | thank
Won.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10

genulty in his appearance, and
would make very good walking
advertisement to parade in front
ov second hand clothing house.
The shyster iz always AZ poor az
he IL dishonest; and when he gifts
old and fairly gone tew seed, il
takes all the cunning he is master
ov tcw GIT hiz klam soup and hiz
occasional luxury Of whiskey.
The luxury of calling = LAWYER a
shyster in St. Louis Is SO cheap
tkatno newspaper need practice
self denial or economy in this re
gard. The Republican has ust
been assessed one cent damage rs
the result of n protracted libel
guilt.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Mental Culture.

Says the ST. Louis Republican:
Is the prevailing system Of mental
cuitdrc very much superior to the
physical , Are many OF the most
popular educational establishments
Tor girls nothing better than utel
,ccluai hot houses where the human
plants are forced to bloom prema
lurely, aud where sound, sensible,
practical knowledge rarely takes
root? The accomplished are sutli-
cicHtly numerous, but what Of the
requirements? Plenty Of fair
maldcns graduate with satin
ribDoucd essays in their hands who
have picked up Il smattering OF
Latin, some fragments OF history,
philosophy aud belles-lettrcs, and
are able to make piano discourse
most dcaicnlng music, and yet are
utterly destitute Of those quaIitica-
tions which would cliab!c them
to gaia AN honest living if compeiI-
ed to rely upon their own re-
sources. ii women are not meant
t. be anything better than "vy
twuiug around the oak" and
drawing financial nourlshmeut
t ON the oaks pockets; if they are
designed to he not only simply the
pets, playthings and bIII-runners
OF men, but his companions, his en-
couragcrs and uoblcst support IN
adversely as well as prosperity,
then, in Heavens name tram them
accordingly. Give them the prop
er physical development; the prop
cr intellectual and moral develop
mont; teach them that matrlmony
is not the be all and the cGd-aIl of
womau's litc; and that the woman
who Is unfit to be good wife and
Il good mother has no right to com.
nit maunmony at all. Postcrty
has some rights which even CUPID,
Venus & Co. are bound to respect.
aud to have the choicest type OF
women, noble maids and noble
matrous, we must carefully watch
and systematically educate, phy.
sically and mentally, our girls -
God bless them.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Facts Worth Remembering.

1t is worth while for all farmers
everywhere, to remember that thor
ough culture is better than three
mortgages on their farms.
That an offensive war against
weeds is five times less expensive
than a defensive one.
That good fences always pay
better than lawsuits with neigh.
bOrs.
That hay is a great deal cheaper
made in summer than purchased
in winter,
That more stock perish from
famine than founder.
That n horse that lays his cars
back and looks lightning when
any one approaches h'm, is vicious.
Don't buy him.
That scrimping the feed Of fat
tcning hogs is waste of gram.
That over-fed towels won't lay
eggs.
That educating children proper
Iy, is money lent at 100 per cent.
That one evening spent at homo
in study, is more profitable thar
ten lounging about country tav
erns,
That cows should always bC
millied regularly and clean.
That it is the duty of every mar
to take a good, reliable, entertaining
paper, aud pay for it promptly, o.
course. EX.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Josh Billings Definition of a
Shvster,

The shystcr is loose cross be
tween the Jermcy Didlcr and the
dead beat, and is more particular
ly known of a cheap lawyer who
hangs around the arena OF iustiss,
Il pest tow all who know him, and
IL downright mistortin to those who
don't. lie is always on hand tew
help the unfortunate out OF one
disaster into wuss one; and don
hesitate to take the last nickel en-
ny body haz got az pay for SER
wees that he knows he cant rcn.
der.
He IS q vehemnt liar and prat
ting cheat, all decent lawyers de
splsc him and Judge dreos lnm
as be duz a drove ov hungry Glcs
in hot and fetid court room.
A shyster is kind OF yellow
dog among the humans, shcaking
around the korncys for q bone. Ht
knows lust cnul about law tew glt
a mau INTO its mcshes, but never
enuh tow git him out, and never
got fee yet that hadn't the smell
of dishonor IN ii.
lie never gits above q shabby
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Ringing for the Water Bow.
From the Boston Commercial Bulletin

(From the Boston Commercial Bulletin)
a good story Is told of verdaht
one who was passenger in a rall-
road express tram, and became
thirsty.
"Where's that ere boy with the
water can p he qucried of his next
neighbor.
"He's gone forward to the bag
gage car, | suppose" was the re-
ply:
"WclT, dye suppose | kin get
him back here agin?
"Certainly," said the other you
have only to ring for HIM and he
nodded toward the bell Inc that
ran above their heads.
No sooner SAID than done. BE
fore any one could prevent 1t, Rus
tic had seized the line and given it
Il tremendous tug. The conse-
Quences were at once obvious; three
shrlI whistles were heard, halt Il
dozen brakemcn ran 10 their post,
and the train came TO stand still
with a suddenness that started halt
the passengers with astonlshment,
and caused every man near a WIN
dow to hoist it and look out to see
what was the matter.
In few minutes the conductor,
red and excited, came fuaming in
the car 10 know who pulled that
bell rope.
"llerc, mister, this way; I'm the
mani shouted the offender, draw
ing all eyes upon hIm.
"Iou" said the conductor.
"what did you do it ior?'
Cos | wanted some water
Wanted some water
'Sartin; | wanted the water boy,
and my pardncr here in the seat
,ad I'd better ring for hlm, as we
do at the hotel, an 50 J yauked the
rope. viii he be along soon?
An, by the by what in thunder be
You stoppin' iorY'
The shout Of laughter that greet
ed this honest confession WAS too
much tor the conductor and he had
TO wait until hc got his train under
way before he explained the mys.
terics OF tie bell rope to his yer-
dant customer.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
To Gut Glass.

Any hard steel tool will cut glass
with great facility when kept wet
with camphor dissolved in oil OF
turpentino. \ driIl-bow may be
used or even the hand alone. A
hole bored may readily be enlarg,
ed with round file. ihc ragged
edges may also be thus easily
,mooihed 10y Il flat file. Fat win
dow glass can readily be sawed by
waich.saw by the aid of this so
luton. In short, the most brittle
glass can be wrought almost rs ca
silly as brass by the use OF cutting
tools kept constantly moist with
camphorlzed oil OF ,urpen,ine.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Il Printers Obituary.

The following address was re
Gently delivered Mt the funeral OF a
San Francisco type-setter: "Our
brother, Mr.. John Harlan, is dead.
His la t letter is distributed, his
stick is full; the last line is spaced
out, ard the clicking Of the type is
no more to be heard by his hand.
a paragraph 10 made, Il period is
put in, h.i last proof is taken, his
~fif,y okaoelt. Ills form is made
and lies upon the cold imposing
bne, silent, lifeless. His faults
e set IN dimond and pied, so that
more proofs can be taken. His
| lrtues are set TIN siX-hne plea, color
framed, and hung on the wall OF
, emory never to bo forgotten.
e warned and be ready. Correct
Pur proof.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Fun for the Family.

There is n fellow in town actual
ly too lazy to labor under mis-:
take"
a wag one evening pulled down
a turner's sign and put it over a
lawyers door. lmthe morning it.
read call sorts of turning and
twisting done here"
The richest joke on Chase was
whom the grill Concord, of whom
ma Certainly, Pll 90 :" That wa
qrAhe answer given by we'uns whe
masked if we would go to the fsl
Wfry. Our friend, Charles II. sal
" he would procure turn ont, bai
n; fsh.lines and antidotc for "snak
poison" on condition that W
ecwould hold the ribbons and whac
Wthe team. Wednesday mornin
!, came, and with 1t the work of "get
II ting ready Reader, dld you eve
la, much damaged by time rmr'
wear, and of an exceedingly pale
blue color, IN place whereof
was taken very large black
silk umbrella of great beauty.
BIundcrs Of this sort, my brethren,
arc getting too common"
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
CalipgI a Physician.

A writer in the ONO Farmer
cites the following opinions OF en-
mont practitioners as to what he
styles Ihe pcrcicious character of
drug Medication
Says Prof. Aleazo Clark, NJ. d.,
of tho New YORK College OF Physi-
clans and Surgeons:
'All our curative agents are pois-
onous, and rs II consequence, every
dose diminishes tho vitality OF the
patient and physicians have bur-
ried thousands to the grave, who
would have recovered if left 10 ma
ture.'
Prof. Joseph Smith Of the same
school, says:
AIl medicines that enter the err
citation, poison the blood in the
same manner rs do the poisons
that produce disease
DR.. Bostock, author of the hsto.
ry OF medicine, says:
Every dose of medicine is
blind experiment on the vitality of
tue patient .'t
Medical men do not cure sick
people, but very many cure the
disease, and at the same time insure
lifelong misery or death to the pa
tent; for dead person cannot
have Il disease. But for moro au-
thority. ...
John Abernctby, N. d., "The
Good" OF London says:
There have been great deal OF
medical men OF late, and, upon my
word, disease has increased IN pro-
portion
Says DR.. Frank OF European &C.
lebriiy
Thousands are annually slaugE-
tered M the sick room
Prof. Gregory, Ednburg, Scot
land, said TO his medical class;
'Gentlcmen, nineIy-nine out OF
every one hundred medical facts
are medical lies, and medical doe
trines are, for the most part, stark,
staring nonsense
These are bat u few of many,
but it rs enough Are We willing
to trust a system which thus com
mands itself to those who have
made it life study.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Damage bv Storm in the North
west.

Reports from numerous points
in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan,
Nebraska, Iowa, Missouri, and
Southern Illinois Indicate that the
storm which passed over this sec
ton Of country, lasting from Satur-
day night till Monday night, in most
localities did great damage, killing
Il considerable amount of stock,
blowing down fences, barnes and
houses, inundating @hole farms
and injuriug the crops to some ex-
tent. Railroad bridges and culverts
were swept away in some localities
Many persons are reported Injured,
but comparatively few were killed,
The greatest damage was done
at intcrier points
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
BLOODY TRAGEDY.
Fearful Result Of an old Fcud
Two Brothers killed Out
riOht-The Deed Raises
Tumultuous Excite
ment in the Com
munitv.
Nashville Banner,

MMINNVILLE, June IA fear.
iul tragedy took place about five
miles from town yesterday evening
Just before dark. The town and
country are in n tumult OF excite.
mcnt. The facts are not fully
known. About all we know is that
two young men named Brown.
brothers, were shot Ind killed by
young man named Paris. There
are two other men implicated in
the killing, one of them II brother
of Paris, the other, Deputy Mar
shal }. I. Armstrong, whose home
is in Dckalb county. The parties
were all drinking, and there seems
to have existed for some time ieud
between the Paris boys and the
Brown boys. The two men above
referred to-Paris and Armstrong
drove into town together this
morning from the eouu@ry, where
they staid last night, within few
hundred yards of the killing, They
were very much surprised TO be ar
rested soon after they alighted
from their wagon. They earnestly y
deny any completely in the killing
1t is known that tho Brown boys
were desperate characters when
enraged, or under the Influence oi
liquor. Paris and Armstrong await
an Investigation before justices
court, and feel satisfied Of their dis
charge. / don't pretend to say
how this is, but will inform you al'
ter an investigation ~ had.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
49,

"A good many years ago 4
Massachusetts man was elected to
the Office Of hcutenant-governor.
when the fact Of his election was
announced he was called upon for
"a speech, lie proceeded to ac-
knowledge the honorin very hand
some terms, and added that he had
no doubt he should make a good
Acknowledgements, as that was
the Office he had always held in
a.s own house.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Laws Governing Subscribers.

II usubscribsrs order the di,couhnuancc Of then
newspapers. the publisher may continue TO send
than until all arcaragcs aIc paid.
II subscribers neglect or refuse 10 take then
newspapers from their office to which thry are
directed, they are ncld responsible until 'H'y
have settled their bills and ordered The paper dI--
con luuc
nsuhs,rbegs move to other places w'hou, in
forming the publisher, and newspapers are sent
10 the former direction. III ay are held responsible
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Never Speak Slig htinglv of Wo-
men.

Or all the evils prevalent among
young men, none are more blight
ING IN their effects than the habit
of speaking slightingly Of the vlr-
tue of women. Nor, indeed, ia
there anything in which young
men are so thoroughly mistaken
as in the low estimate they are
wont to form OF the integrity OF
the seX-not OF their own mothers
aud sisters but of others whom
they seem to forget are somebody's
mothers and sisters. As Il general
rule it may be said that no person
who dcscends to thus habit should
be entrusted with any enterprise
IN which integrity OF character IS
an Indispensable. prerequisite.
PLAIN words should be spoken and
writtci on this point. The evil is
widespread, ana particularly so
among the young men OF the West.
If, indeed, young men are some
times thrown into the society OF
thoughtitss, not TO say lcwd wom-
en-, they have no more right to
measure other females by what
they see than they would have to
estimate the character Of our most
upright and virtuous citizens by
the developments of crime in oui
city police courts. Let our young
men reflect, then, and bear IN con
tinual remembrance that theil
chief happiness in this life depends
upon their unwavering faith II
women.-[ Sunny South.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10

\ new anccdote of the rebell-
ion j., us follows: AT the close
ot the ww, Gen. joe. Johnson met
in Bll,im1Ic who had enjoyed an
disturbed the social delights OF that
rcbclIioHs city, young man, who
sad to him, "Wc!l, General, we are
conquered but not subducd,' Were
You IN the service, Young man,
asked the General. No, sir, | had
not that honor Then, my friend,
SAID Johnson, YOU may not be
subdued, but | ann
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
OFFICIAL DIRECTORY,
STATE OFFICERS.

STATE OFFICERS.
Governor A II GsdaDd
s,c'y Of State h. b. Beavers.
Audtor-Wm Il. Miller.
Treasurer n. j. Churchill
A,ty Gcu1-T +. llugucs.
Com State Lands. y Hmilhce,
CHANCELLOR Il. Eakin
Chanccry oIerk-A Il. Wit.
Chief Justice +. u. Eugiish
Associate Justices Wm NJ. lilu.scn and
David Walker
Congressman, let Dt,tict-L, =. oaasc.
JUDICIARY.
second Iucuit Countics Of Mississippi 'r"'-
y.ittrudcn. Poiutsctt CrlighcJd, Greene, Clay
ton and Randolph,
,irsult judge l. /. Mack.
Pros Art',.-HaW- II. BIuok.
LLGl~LA
sNh District 'omti,~ Of Mi,slrslpi /, 5at~sun
roiu,.erj aud Dlu-hysj.
Sttto senator. T Henderson
R.prr-enl1I,e-J. + Ruol,r.
cot Nri OFFICER
County JUDGE NJ Cu .an.
Sheriff. Driver.
County q RI j n 4 Hale.
Trrasarcr-,J l. DriNur
srrycyog--Jubu II l,aIr,.
Assessor /. Ward
Coroner \ W Luaus.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
ra, q Term of one year ................s 81 G
o.. .. SIX Months. ........ ....'.' l "
Three Months. ......... .... Z,
RATES OF ADVERTISING !:

FOK IKANoILNI ANU IEU NJ NVI IIVT.1'
one dollar per square OF one inch running
measure, or space OF ten lines Of this type, ioI
erst insertion, and scycnty-nSe cents loI each
subsequent Insertion.
SPECIAL NOTICES in Local column QeadcD
Gly per cent ON ubOy" rates.
OBITUARY NOlILES-inscrted At adVeltia-
ng rates.
A liberal deduction made ou above rates ior
standing advertisements.
EDITORIAL NOTICES referring 10 HdNerti-e
meuts, or advancing private lntcIeats, rate as
transient matter.
when no contracts are made, cash must ac-
company al ADVERTISEMENTS No deNlationS
from the above rules.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10

"A Kansas woman offers to bet
$50 that her husband can 'cuss' "A
bnshel of grass-hoppers entirely
out Of the country while the peo.
pie of Missouri are fasting and
praying pint out OF Il ten'acre
wheat field.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10

i look upon IN able statesman
out of bushes. like huge whale,
that will endeayor to overturn the
ship unless he has got an empty
cask to play wiih.-Steele.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10

Ger Crummett says he knew
Il benevolent down east lady, who
one fall gave her entire crop oi
apple-butter to a poor widow. She
had found Il dead rat in it.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
Ts-- . -

Iti r'- of q farmer in Canada,
note. tJ. his p..a.ios. -.o.,s5 That
u- splits bis matches.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10

cilAfacFr pi,ciivniciiuiI oi great cun.-
pRxity, but ii is'also one in high degree
inaccessible. For, i'm the first place, all
Il 49,. =. - -. :.
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10

men.; on this lay the sheet or leaf. and
cover the spot, iIr lil5e manner, with &,
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10
JoiIN -. FALMtn. NJ. ~ANhEt.N'
Palmer & Sanders
ATTORSEXs AT LAW.
IIELEN y, ARK

viii practice in the counties of Mis-
sissippi, CuNt,utgn Cross, 81.
Francis, p".l'ps mt Icsrg, a.a
in tho Supreme Co.tt ai th- state
q, Lj'tla Rock,
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10

tf"rt-.lRsFt<1u uI}c1s Atio UpciatiUii Ui /
feelingssi., Sustaining assurance even
when there II the minimum of evidence
The Osceola times., 1875-07-10

ated by Anl Lse can he ltsst referred
II D. sa;s,. ir- ~. & ;ka ssv Il,
The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-02-17
| From the Philadelphia Ledger, February 15.l
Fconsylynuia s,Oas Trade.

The Anthracite coal trade for the week enc.
ing OIL the 9Th instant is without any spech
feature. It Is still quiet. Production In all
the coal regions is at a very low point, and
no movement seems 10 be making to give it
impetus. The market supply is such that
operators do not care to add TO II. Under
this state OF feeling no collieries in the
Schuykill and Lehigh regions are In opera
ton except such as are supplying local con.
sumption.
The coal-carrying companies in what Is
known as the combination are negotiating
little all the time as to programme Of ope-
rations for the current year, but no conclu-
>ion, as we learn, has as yet been reached.
No trouble among them, however, Is aDtici.
pated just now. The entire tonnage reported
TOR the week ending on the Oh instant was
1881 against 1899 In corresponding
week last year, and 1,317,137 for the new
year against 1,456. $50 to same date
in 1874. The btuminous Tonnage for
tue week is 3S,011 tons. and for the year
1G7,I05 tons against 1869 tons to cor
responding date last year. The total of both
kinds OF coal for the week Is 1G0,3S2 tons,
and for the year ], 4S4846 tons against $780,
$3.50 tons to same time in 1874, being de-.
crease of 145, 493 tons. The quantity of coal
and coke transported over the Pennsylvania
railroad for the week was 1925 tons, and
for the year 23l ,S19 tons. Of this aggregate
1856, 05G tons were coal and As, 1853 tons coke.
This table embraces all the coal carried over
the road, both anthracite and bituminous,
cast and west. .... ,.aa