The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-01-30
OTTAWA FREE TRADER: SATURDAY, JANUARY 80, 1875
We give it up. By the way is that conunArum

We give it up. BY the way, is that conrnarun
originaly
/ A California editor is named Shcarer Their
is singular propriety in the way IN winch s.
many Of his contemporaries refer to him
Brother Shearer.
George vandenhof says that the Apostle Pau
never preached against theatres, although the.
we're in all cities where the Apostle preached
J Who told him-S. B. a:
A Milwaukee paper has an editorial on TIL
Mothers Of Men What this world is sighin
for is the writer who shall produce an appreca
This Office keeps boy who is paid fifty dol
lars q week to do nothing but sit on chair ant
yell, Shut the door, People who cone up stairs
on business are thus saved the pain of hearing
seven or eight men yell out in succession.
Lastly came winter, clothed all in frieze-kd
,edrd Spence.
Poets do not like hand.organs; they make the
muse Fhiladeiphia GLOBE.
| The waylncss of David Kalakauas hair is known
as the kink OF the Sandwich lslands.-Hoc". De'"
The down trodden people of New Orleans seem
to have their fill of sheridan WhHeddH I""eS'
| 1t is better to be alone in this world than to
bring up boy TO play on the accofaeon'-
Brooklyn Argus.
| Now
/ OF our discontent.-U Ai'ehaR Ti0ies.
/ When ST Louis man loses $50 on the street
he Offers Si5 reward for il. lie knows what st
Louis humaa nature is.-Dctfoh Press.
Since tbe ghost broke out at Carthage, the
bows say il is more pleasant cscorting girls home
from the literary socicty.-Rome Sent
The girls attending the literary society in this
city would not get frightened if all the inmates
of the German cemetery should rise up before
them.
! A Yonkcr. man has invented n way to make
his home happy, and intends to apply for pat
emit II is done by keeping away from it,
Parents who send children to school should
remember that too much studying often ends in
the last five letters OF the word.-N y. Mail.
A fatal epidemic is prevailing among Wscon-
sin cats, and the bOot-jack factories arc cutting
down the number of employees Sent.
Wen ride fifty miles to see two brothers un-
der twelve years OF age 90 to bed together with
-
Press.
4 South Ottawa wOman's bonnet costs, upon
an average, about Sl5, but she has the bill made
out for $50 or $40, in order to show it to the wo
man next door.
II has been discovered TINT whisky can be
made from scaweed And now there is need of
stronger telegraph cables. When whale gets
drunk on seaweed and is whoopins and yelling
around, he wants something as substantial as a
lainp-post to cling to.-Er.
Those New York young women continue TO
marry dukes. An orang outdng with title
wouldn't be safe among thcm.--C0urier Journal
But the editor of the Ottawa RettJiican would
be safe. He lacks the title.
The Scientific american justly dcnounces the
habit of visitors kissing the baby A strictly
view Of the subject leads to the be-
lief that the best way is to kiss the mother, when
she is young and pretty, and let her give it to
the infant. -BrooHyn Argus.
But suppose the husband is present?
As a Louisville girl was taking leave of gen.
tleInan at her fathers house one evening recent
ly she said to him: If you ever hear that | am
in the habit Of allowing my male acquaintance
to kiss me goodbye you mustn't believe it, as |
seldom allow such liberties The close of that
may be imagined.-Er.
We don't care to imagine t-gye us the gen
uine article.
Spain has sent a note to France complaining
of breeches of neutrality aud pants for a reply
". y. Mail.
A Georgia paper knows a man who went all
the way from Cassyllc to Atlanta On his re-
turn he looked solemn with the weight of gar
ncred wisdom, and said: If the world is as big
t'othor way as it is that it's whopper"
He is on the BcecncrTilton jury. He never
reads the papers
: He'll closed for Repairs was the title of the
Rev Mr.. Lutz's sermon, in New Haven, on New
Years night.
That accounts for Rev. Lutz being ont lectur,
ing.
Mrs Swsshclm advises ladies t. sponge them
selves well with alcohol and water twice a day.
-Er.
This has been fayoritc prescription with a
timc. They take the alcohol internally and
sponge it whenever they can. They are not
at all particular about the water.
They say that Winnie Rcam warllcs like 60.
nary. She ought to sing wcll-thcrc are twenty
choirs in rcGm.
But who yrYiirf music 70 Cundcnsudg
The women Of Michigan all take an interest in
politics now. They are divided into two great
parties, the war-cry of the one being, Women
for oiilccholdcrs,' and that Of the other, Women
for baby-hClders.'
Who holds the soothing syrup.
Rather an interesting admonltion is tackled
to recent 50 subscription to the fund for the
Kansas and grasshopper sufferers. Says the
subscriber: Let the people OF those western