Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1875-09-24

While i've have 10 make very much OF al
lowance for the extreme irritabilty often
times displayed by the sick, II is truly dis
couraging, when one seems TO be exerting
himself to the utmost to please, to have TO
bear unmeritCd reproach from the invalid,
in that we are accused of something en-
tirely foreign from our benevolent inten-
tions.
We call to mind case in point which
came under our own immediate obserya-
tion, it being that Of our next ncighbcr,
Mr.. Soper.
His wife has been very sick for some
weeks, aud, although extremely reduced
in body and mind there is still enough of
the true woman remaining in her which
led her last Monday, in faint whisper, to
ask her husband, who had entered the sick
room with funeral cast of features, what
was the news.
"Well," answered Mr.. Soper, sitting un-
easily down on IL extreme edge of a
chair, and balancing his hat on his fingers
by the brim, "there amt nothin' to speak
of, n p'ticler. S'pose you heard of Miss
Coles death she was taken sick bout the
same time you was"
81 should think, James," said Mrs. Sop
er with feeble emphasis, "that If you
couldn't find somethin' more cheerful TO
say TO your poor, sick wife, you'd hold
your tongue"
"CerpDly," said Mr.. Soper meekly, "on-
| ly news is so sca'ce. Lemme see," he con-
tinued, looking thoughtfully into the crown
OF his hat, as if it had reserved fund of
gossip therein, "you heard bout Marthy
Carter's breakin' her leg"
a snappish nod of the head from the in
valid signiied to Mr.. Soper that he was
upon dangerous ground, but, after a few
moments reflection, he frightened visibly
as he said
You orter ben TO town meetin' a Mon
dy! The towns voted to have new
hearse, an was never so glad of anything
in all my life." "Why," continued the
gentleman, glancing involuntarily at the
bed, 81 wouldn't have one of my family
carted TO the berryin' ground N that old
hearse for no money !" and Mr.. Scper APP
peared quite satisfied with himself, al this
item of information, which he felt assured
would partially satisfy the cravings of Mrs.
Soper's inquiring nature.
James Edward Soper," whispered his
wife, with a painful intensity, "be you a
nat'ral born fool, or be you a looking for
red TO geitn' rid of me?"
AS the latter view had never presented
itself 10 Mr.. Soper in the light of his wife's
inquiry, he looked very much subdued,
and scratched his head with an air Of pain
ful abstraction, as Mrs. Soper said again
with fearful voice:
"Oh, you en- go. If you can't slare a
few moments 10 set with me, an jes' Civ
me some little interestin' news,-I don't
W ant you TO stay agin your inclination" !"
she continued with the sigh of martyr.
Mr.. Soper hastily expressed his willing
ness TO remain, and desire 10 please, so af-
ter brief interval Of thought he contin-
ued reflectvely:
"Wall, lemme think. l was over 10 the
widder Stacy's las night TO see # 1 couldn't
make trade for jersey hcifer, an 1 tell
you M'ria," said Mr.. Soper outhusiastical-
ly, ''if she amt a harusum critter, I never
see one"
An cminous light appeared in Mrs. So
per's sunkep eyes, and if her husband had
been observing closely, he would have seen
a restless motion indicative of an apparent
desire TO make personal attack upon some
one or 5 melting, but he saw nothing, and
continued,
"She's jest about the Fight size, an her
skins as whites snow. She's got the poot-
lest legs" continued the unrefective Mr..
Sop,r, with a descriptive motion of his
! .,ps ,,.br ..If.
shape-w1y M'ria," said Mr.. Soper, rising
from his chair with warmth, "she'll meas
ure two foot across her breast"
The scream which came from the afflict-
I'd invalid at this juncture was of such
piercing shiilncss that Mr.. Soper placed
his fingers in his ears, and Mrs. Soper's
mamma, who was in the next room, ap-
peared on the scene in the twinkling of an
eye.
''Oh, you awful bruter' she exclaimed,
as she bathsd her daughters brow with
hair-oil in mistake for camphor, while the
wretched man feebly endeavored 10 ex-
plain that he was only telling Mrs. S.
about Jersey heirer that he was going 10
buy.
"There, ma" said Mrs. Soper with q
gasp, "rm better now"
"You'd better leave the room," said the
matron, with a world of significant wrath
in her eye, and the unfortunate Soper de-
parted, muttering, as he slammed the out
side door behind him, that he'd be master
in his own house some day-but he hasn't
been yet, for Mrs. Soper has recovered, and
her mother has taken up permanent resi-
dence with them.
To this day they don't speak 10 the wild
ow Stacy, aud Mr.. Soper's reiterated ex-
planation has always been received in dig
nified aud incredulous silence.-C0Bl But
ietin.