The Toledo chronicle. [volume] (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1873-1924, 1875-07-29
A New View of Bunker Hill.

A New View of Bunker Hill.
A MONTH or two ago Col. Bangs en-
gagged young fellow named Scudder as
sub-editor of the Morning Argus. On the
dav before the anniversary of Bunker Hill
Bangs asked Scudder if he was familiar
with the history of that battle, and Scudder
said he was SO Bangs told Scudder he
would like him to write up little sketch
of it for the anniversary day, and Scudder
said he would try. The next morning the
sketch appeared in the Argus, and attracted
a good deal of attention. When Bangs saw
it he called Scudder in, and said:
"Mr. Scudder, didn't you tell me you
thought you were familiar with the battle
of Bunker Hill?'
Yes, sir"
"Well if that is the case, will be
obliged to you if you will mention to me
what you mean when you say:
"'By four O'Clock the Confederate troops
were ready to make the attack. Gen.
Washington had the catapults put in line
to await their coming, and, when Napo-
leon saw them, he drew his sword, and eX-
claimed: "Soldiersl twenty centuries look
down upon your
Now, Mr.. Scudder, if you had pos
sessed the most ordinary acquaintance
with that conflict you would have been
aware that Napoleon was not present, and
that the idea of George Washington fight
ing the Confederate army with catapults is
| calculated to excite the derision of edu
Gated persons. And l wish to direct your
attention, Mr.. Scudder, to another histori-
cal inaccurscy. At the bottom of the sec
ond column there you say;
"'No sooner were the battering rams
leveled against the walls of the castle than
the Duke of Wellington sent word to his
mother by Gen. Butler that he would
either win or be brought home upon his
shield. Then, ordering his men to fire at
the whites of the enemy's eyes, he awaited
the onset with that majestic calmness
which ever distinguished the hero of
Buena Vista
Now, l don't want to hurt your feel
ings, Mr.. Scudder, but really, for jour
nalst, you know, this kind of thing won't
do. You certainly must realize that the
battle of Bunker Hill was not fought in a
castle with battering rams; and at any
rate, when you allude to the Duke of
Wellington communing with Gen. Butler,
and connect him with Buena Vista, there
is actually no hope of your forming public
opinion on those topics. The public mind
is made up And then little further on,
in the next column, you say:
"'This was the very crisis of the battle.
Joan of Arc, spying Gen. Jackson behind
the cotton bales, dashed at him upon her
snow-white charger, swinging her ponder
ous battle-ax above her head; her fair hair
streamed behind her in the wind. AS her
steed pressed forward her hair caught in
the bough of tree, and, as she hung there,
Serg Bates shot her through the heart
with bolt from an arquebuss. Her last
words were: Don't give up the ship
"Now, you see, Mr.. scudder, this kind
of thing sets people to talking. 1t hurts
the paper. You've got Absalom mixed
UP somehow in your mind with Joan Of
Arc, who died about 10000 years before
Gen. Jackson, who wasn't at Bunker Hill
and who never knew Serg. Bates any more
than Serg. Bates knows how to fire an
arquebuss. Arquebuss! Gracious heav.
en-! I'm afraid this office'll be mobbed
before night. The community is not ex
citable, but it can't stand more than Ger
tain amount of insult. Serg. Bates will
write us a couple of thousand letters abou
that allusion to him, and maybe he'll come
to see us. No doubt you meant well, bu
you've about done the business for us
especially here, where you say
"'The Duke could stand it no longer
The Mamelukes had slain all of his van
guard. Gen. Sickles had lost his leg ant
retired on pension, and the enemy's skir
mishers, lodged in the top of the monu
ment, were pouring boiling oil on thos'
who attempted to scale it. Leaping upor
his horse, he shouted: "Up, guards, ant
at them," and the next moment, with tn
glorious flag of truce in one hand and hi
sword in the other, he hurled his legion
upon the lava-beds, and crushed the say
) age foe to the earth, killing, among 9th
ers, the we'll known Gen. Harrison, after
ward President of the United States
"The duke! Mamelukes! Flag of truce
Lava beds! Awful, sir, awful! The Ar
| gus is a goner! Gone up, Mr.. Scudder
slain! But how could you have scared VI
that idea about a man fighting with fla
= of truce in his hand? And how, o hol
could you have killed man who you ad
nit was afterward President of the Unite
States? No comic paper ever surpasse
this. 1t is terrible. l think we shall hay
to part, Mr. Scudder. 1t seems to me ths
( your career as journalist ought to com
/ to an end right here. l will accept you
) resignation.
"And if anyone asks you why you lei
, the argus point to this last paragraph an
| say that it was because the proprietor wa
afraid he'd murder you when he read you
} statement that At the battle of Bunke
Hill the Confederates lost $4,000 and tn
/ Carthagenians only 600,' and that Ther
r is no spot in Virginia that the people hol
, more sacred than that bloody hill wher
e the bones of Cromwell lie with those G
: Roger Williams, as if in life they ha
), never fought against each other in th
/ cause of the Constitution and cheap trans
o portation.' Point to that language, NJ
t Scudder, and your friends will understan
e the situation. Good morning."
Then Mr.. Scudder withdrew, and he
s now looking for another newspaper
r ruin.-Mar Adeler, in N, 7. Weekly.