The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1875-01-30

Laughing Gas.

| Laughing Gas.
| A man can not expect half = loaf
when he loafs al the time. = 4
Tho best way to rise in the estima-
ton Of q lady ~ not by stsros.,
How many sides has round plum
|pnddingi Two-inside and outside.
Why are mem haters like mice N
the Went lndies f-Becsuse they ssV
nsice-as'tropical. rI ;f1ri W
The young man who pays his &C.
dresses to dumb bellies 10 In no danger
of being discarded.
josh Billings rays that in the beds
but role over great DEAL"
A sillygism: Tho good die young.
Brigham the Mormon viii die Young.
Therefore, Brigham IL good.
Two candidates for Mayor in Ne
braska city are familjssly known a.
+" Seurry Mike and '' Dreadful Ton."
What IL the difference between
Handel and the grinder Of = barrel
organ THE one was composer, tho
other discomposer.
A Western paper, describing duel,
informs its readers that emo Of tho
parties was severely wounded in
the breast. while hia opponent fred
in the air."
A glass of sods-wxter Was offered
to country lad, who rejected it with
the greatest indignation. "Do you
think / am o salamander," said he,
Z" to drink water boiling hot &"
A Harrisburg paper infnrms its
readers that when gentleman and
lady are walking upon the street, tho
lady should walk inside of the gentle
man. How the lady Is to do this is
not stated. "'
my name is Somerset" writes =
punstcr. "1 lam q miserable bachelor.
can not marry; for how eeslld ! bnpe
to prevail on any young lady, Poa-
sessed Of the slightest notion of deli
cacy, to turn \ Somerset r.
A celebrated Judge, who stopped
very much whom walking, had Stone
thrown 1t him ono day. which fovsa-,
nately passed over him without hit
ting him. Turning ta his friend, he
remarked, "Ha.l hssa ~ upright
Judge, that might have caused ny
DEATH"
A man meeting An aeqnaintancay
accosted him thus: "Ah, Mike, who
do you think have inst been apeak-
ing tot Your old friend Patrick aud
faith he has grown 10 thin I hsraly
knew him. To be ssre, you are thin
aud ! An thin, but he is thinner thsa
both of @ pat together" ,.,.,, ss s....
An Irish waiter once complimentsd
q salmon in the following nanner:
:" Faith it's not two hours since that
salmon was walking round hie real
estats wild his hands in his pocksts.
never draining what = pretty invita-
shnn he'd have to jine you gentlemen
ut dinner. :. - @1r'75 f'-s-
A little Vermont girl called. q .
drug store and said, -" My mother
wants ten eents' worth Of junps.~
This astooished the clerk. The child
insisted that it was Jumps she bad been .
sent for, but returned 70 her mothSr >
Tor farther distractions. Worry soon
'he came hack, and said it was hopa
hat sl,e wanted. "a
Why, Jimmy" saiA one profas-
'ional 6eggar to another, ~are you
zoine y knock 81 alreadyf Its only
;wo o'cloek. :" No, yoa mnttoshead,h T.
The other, who WAS us-
his eruteh, "l'm only going
y put + Oh the other knee. You don't
'uypsss fellow can beg all dsy on
Ae same lee, do yous" -.r-
A nississippi Aoatmaa stopping st
) pnblic house asked the portor for q
'Oot- jack to pull of his bOota. Tho
'olered gentleman, after examing the
tranger's feet, broke out a. follOwa.
No jack here big nnff for dem feets.
Isckass conldn't pull'em of, maasa,
sidout fractring d. leg. Yuse better
% back about tree miles to de forks
q d. road and pull'em Of dar." 'a
The kind Of whiskey they have In
Frisco: cater that the cloth wa
oek o6, and the liquors war bro't In.
And wot liquors they wuz, too! The
rhiskeH wuz nons D. this yer kind
hat makes . man feel like sayin':
in lick any con of = gun in the hoase,s
I'd makes him smash things gener-
lly. No, sir. II war the Kind that
lot makes = man lit his glass gintly,
nd says: Joe, old pard, I'm la,,k- .
y ut YER"
A Fitchhurg. Masaachusetta, co.,
uctor atspPsd his train the other
corning for > woman who WA rush-
" wildly after it. She thanked hiu
'armly, casually remarked that ahe
ad forgotten 70 kiss her husband,
,ale good the emission and thep
trolled home again. The conductor
asked the happy hua,
and If the train should wait till he
ad as.nt fs,r aud kissed his n,other-
1-law, but receiving . mild negative.
.rked his little bell.