Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-12-08

y
ago as kind of utility man, and one
night the manager put him behind the
scene at the rear of the stage, to take
care of the moon. Brown had a candle
on the end of a long pole, and it was his
duty to hold the light behind the moon,
which was a round unpainted space in
the curtaiu, and to pull the curtain
slowly up, to represent the rising of the
moon. Brown seated himself ON piece
of baronial castle, and, while waiting
for the order to 90 to work, he fell
asleep. Presently the tragedian on the
stage said to the heroine: "Swear by
you bright moon," etc., etc., and turned
to point to it, but the orb Of night was
not there. The stage-manager flew
around and gave Brown kick, and in
a frenzy ordered him to Ssh list that moon
quick.' Brown was bewildered, and,
without waiting for further orders, he
ran the curtain clear up with one jerk,
when the cord broke, and down it came
again. Another string was furriedly
rugged on the pulley, and the moon be-
gan to rise properly; but Browns
nerves were so unstrung by fright that
he couldn't hold the candle steadily be-
hind it, so that there were fifteen or
twenty eclipses during the ascent, the
light meanwhile wandering all over the
curtain, to the infinite amusement Of
the audience. However, the luminary
got safely up at last, and the tragedian
again observed: ''Swear by yOn bright
mOon;" but before the words were
fairly out the cord snapped again, the
curtain unrolled with velocity, and
broke loose from the roller, revealing
Brown, the lunar elevator, roaming
around in his shirt sleeves with a candle
on stick. A moment later the manager
was fumbling among his hair, and that
very night Mr.. Brown closed his thea
trieal career. The manager remarked
to confidential friend that while man
who was able of making the same moon
rise three times in one night, and of
getting any number of eclipses and other
astronomical phenomena, might be
valuable for some purposes, he was
about as fit for theater as wall eyed
mule was for singing hymns.
TANNED Acknowledging up street,
one of the recent cool days, a man saw
boy about eleven years of age seated on
the sidewalk, bareheaded, in the full
blaze of the sun.
"Bub. you ought not to sit there"
said the man.
"Why?"
"Because you'll get all tanned up"
"Makes no difference to me whether l
sit i'm the sun or shade," sadly answered
the boy; ''mOther tans me up three or
four times day, anyhow"
An OLD Highlander, rather fond of
his toddy, was ordered by his physician,
during a temporary illness, not to ex-
ceed one ounce of spirits daily. The
old gentleman was dubious about the
amount, and asked his son, a school boy,
how much an ounce was. "Sixteen
drachms, was the reply. "Sixteen
drains! An excellent dOctor.' replied
the delighted Highlander. ''Run and
tell Donald McTavish and big John to
come down the nicht."
A wELL-KNowN alderman gave dis
play of his great literary ability at the
Mansion House banquet. He was asked
by lady the meaning of the initials ).
Z. Q. X. on the standards borne by
the soldiers In one of the pictures on
the wall. His answer: 81 believe they
stand for Small Profits and Quick Re-
turns" What would the "Senatus
Populusque Romanus" have thought of
such barbaric intelligence. = London
Hornet.
JOHN HENRY had guest! at dinner
the other day, and during pause in the
conversation the enfdnt terrible spoke up:
81 wish L was you" ''Do you, my little
boy, and why do you wish you were
mo sgCnc rnn don't frat unnr
pinched when you eat vittles with your
of manly Independence. = Cincinnati
Times.
IT WAS GRACEFUL compliment that
Haydn, the musician, paid to a great
female vocalist. Reynolds had painted
her as Cecilia listening to celestial
music. Looking at it, Haydn said, sit
is like her, but there is a strange mis-
take" "What is it?" asked Reynolds.
''Why, you have painted her listening
to the angels, when you ought to have
represented the angels listenin z to her."
Nor TEXPLICIT.-Prof.X Y in Rochester
University, insists strongly ON prOnoun-
cling final us in Latin in English oOse.
Student in recitation, not appreciating
the point, comes upon the word ''prO-
fugus." professor, would you, on your
principles, pronounce the word prof
you goose or prof-you-goose? Profess
sol, IN a rage, ,''Leave the room instantly,
sir.'
Mrs. MrLLIss was asked the other day
how she managed TO get along so nicely
with Mr.. Milliss, and frankly replied !:
sOh, | feed him well. When a woman
marries, her happiness for little while
depends upon the state of her husbands 5
heart; after that it's pretty much ac-
cording to the state of his stomach"
He WAS bound to be accurate, and he
described the woman's costume thus
''She wore an elegant suit of something
or other, cut bias and trimmed end
wise."
THE man who wears an eye-glass on
one eye must needs part his hair in the
middle to balance his head.
A NEVADA PAPER speaks of an urchin
that had been playing with mules tail :,
as ga spoiled child"
How THE free lunch fiend solves the
problem of existence-By the Buy-nO-
meal theory.
WHY should the cable dispatches be so
dry when they come all the way through
water?
IT Is odd that the lamp-post with its
lamp taken away is lamp-lighter.
WESTON is the man who has two soles
and single thought.
A PLACE to get good eye dear. At
the glass eye-makers.
A MALADY peculiar to milkmen-
water on the brain.