Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-06-11
A Professors LudicrOus Adventure.

IT was glorious afternoon in early
spring; the birds sang cheerlly from the
tree-tops, and the brooks, happy in their
freedom from winter captivity, dubbed
ioyously in return. Upon this beautiful
afternoon Prof Podger, of Smithville
Seminary, Was returning from one OF his
chronological ramblcs. The professor
was happy; his expedition had been a
success; in his possession were two of
the rarcst beetles belonging TO the NAL
achidp species, and he smiled as he
thought OF his coming lecture upon the
habits Of those rare insects, and the re-
nown that would certainly be his. On
''ed the professor, unconscious to all
external objects. SO much so, III fact,
that the little robin kicked up his heels
and sang "Shoo-hy" without attracting
his attention. The efforts of the gentle
crow were as futile; his sweetest songs
were lost upon the professor, whose
thoughts were far away i'll bug-land.
A high rail fence now separated the
professor from large field through
which he wished to pass. Now, the
professor never climbed over fence if
he could help it. 1t is triumph OF
engineering skill, he used to remark,
to be able to get upon the other side OF
the fence without climbing over. So,
with a great deal of twisting and
tugging, he forced himself through a
small gap and gained the other side.
Unconsciously the professor had crossed
the rubicon. In that field he was des
tined to do the hardest work Of his life,
but still he smiled and walked on.
Suddenly there broke upon his ears
sound which caused every joint in his
body to tremble, and leach particular
hair TO stand on end" Podger looked
up and saw at distance of about ten,
rods what appeared to him ferocious
bull He was about to drop from sheer
fright, when the thought how base for
noble intellect to succumb to mere
brute aroused him, and he determined to
test the superiority of mind over matter.
The professor concluded that the only
way to succeed was to excite the AMI
mails curiosity, and, by holding him at
bay, wait until some chance for escape
pre- sented itself His manner Of pro-
ceeding was unique. He mounted
stone and commenced series Of elo.
ouent orations. The novelty of the
scene caused the animal to stop and
gaze with wonder. After awhile Pod"
ger grew tired and stopped for breath.
The animal started for him and he COM
menced again. He exhausted every sub
iect that he could think of to pacify that
brute. At one time he argued the Ala
hama claims, then he took up the Lou
isiana affairs, then the Civil-Rights bill.
| In fact the professor was in TX nc
| couldn't stop for moment, but had to
talk right on. After a while he began to
get hard up for subjects, and took up
| the Beecher trial. That was too much
| for the beast, and it started for the nople
orator. He now had recourse to the
+" Mother Goose Melodies" and other
light literature At last he got hoarse,
| and as his hoarseness grew upon MIN ms
| audience drew nearer. 1odgef knew
that q crisis was at hand which de-
| manded immediate actlon. 20 ne acJed;
| and this was what he did:
First lie jumped off from the stone and
stood upon bis head; then he walked
upon his hands, at the same time edglng
his way toward the fence. These ma
ncuvers were a complete success; the
beast was taken In by the performance,
and walked slowly after Podger, aston
ished beyond measure. Slowly Iodger
worked himself along, now rolling on
the ground, then hopping along with his
hands and knees, holding his ears, until
he at last reached the fence. lie didn't
ston this time to show his engineering
skiil. but lust got up and got over that
fence lively. When Podger related his
adventures TO the students they didn't
appear to be affected very seriously by
it. One irreverent young man suggested
that Podger, in the future, had better
find out whether bull or playful
heifer was after him before he mace
circus of himself -Bs6ialo Sunday Neaes.
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WursTI1Ne bees. That IS TO be Inc
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