Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-05-01
Fun And Trolic,


Owed TO spring violets.
Something about pea-nuss-the
shells,
Ague without fever Is no great
shakes.
"A heavy business-Importing
elephants.
Garlic eaters are not crowded in |
streetcars
A door step Is often the first step |
in life taken by a little waif.
Questions of the day--one or |
two? Y. ). or 6? able or ible ?u in
or out?
"One swallow does not make d
spring." But one crooked pin on
n chair does.
IL there is anything on earth |
that beats four aces IL is kind and
a,niable wife.
AT recent Cory foot-race be-
tween two girls the one with the
blue garter beat.
Send me letter true Inward
ness or paroxysmal kiss, writes
Il gushing lover.
Why Is the capital of Turkey like
4 whimsical patient. Because its
constant to no pill.
They are singing in Savannah,
1.-THE melon-coiic days have come,
the sliad-est in the year,
The utmost that severity can do |
II to make men hypocriteS, Il can
never make converts.
Gar of Russia has the toothache,
like the mos OF us, and he used !
almost the same emphatic express
sinns.
Carlyle is not fit man for n
census taker. He says England
is populated by 100000 souls
mostly fools.n
Two things in this world should
not be trified with--a woman's
opinion, and the business end Of a
wasp.
A fellow who was drunk for Il
week after his wife died told the
judge re never could bear pros
perity."
st. Louis has ten thousand dogs.
The natives wear a section of stove
pipe on each leg during the mad
season.
1t you want to teach a dog arith-
metic, tie up one of his paws, and
he will put down three and carry
one every time.
"Hullo, Bub! trying to get an
appetite tor your dinner?" "Well,
hoo, not exactly; fact is, I'm try
ing to get dinner for my appe-
tite.
"What a shame that / should be
starving!' exclaimed poor corr
set-maker out Of work; II, that
have stayed the stomachs ofhun-
dreds."
Some men don't get enthusiastic
over the return Of spring. There's
old Sorghum, for instance, who
swears his wife's feet are as cold
as ever.
A Danbury girl had her face Sc
riously scratched by her lovers di-
almond pin. He says he can't ac-
count for 1t, because he wore 1t all
the evening.
When a Detroiter was asked the
other day by q traveller if he had
ever been in Brooklyn he FASTENED
to reply; "Do / look like one of
that sort Of men, sir?o
Sidney Smith, speaking Of his
being shampooned at Mahomet's
baths, at Brighton, said they
squeezed enough out Of him to
make clean curate."
''For whom are you concerned?r
asked judge. Of a lawyer. II am
concerned for the plaintiff, your
honor, but I'm employed by the
defendant was the reply.
Every man who mails a pack
age subject TO the new postage
rates drops ii into thu hole with the
wish that Senator HamIin had Ii
sit for two hours on a hot shovel.
A Chicago man thinks that the
worst speler out tc get the dictio-
airy, and the winner should have a
wreath of sorrel," or some other
garden sass, like them Greeks.
II don't care much about the |
bugs" said Warmley, to the head |
Of genteel clearinghouse, "but |
the fact Is, madam, haven't the |
blood TO spare; you see that your
self.
a Mississippi negro, who was
shot while stealing bacon, rolled
his eyes over the crOwdand mourn |
f,rlIxy avcloi mad. ssxIhx, dfArt x,<., /