Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1875-08-19
MrsceIIaneous.
all the haker's visit.

miscellaneous
Roll-call-the bakers visit.
A bootless Putting on ones
socks. =
Sweets in adversely = A sugar
house failure.
Poverty is the test of civility and
the touchstone of friendship.-Haz-
lit.
What are they which, though al
ways drank, are never intoxicatedf
Toasts.
WHY is a compositor like a crippleF
Because he can't get on without
stick.
An Alabama man has been trying
to lead a church and manuiacture
lead nickels at the same time.
Sir Wilfrid Lawson recently spoke
Of Mars and Bacchus Gas the god of
battles and the god of bottles"
The hair from ladies' braid should
never be worn on the lapel of gen
tleman's coat, unless the parties are
engaged.
A musical amateur writes to ask
if the old English song, "a Single
Smile" furnished the theme of Wag-
ner's "Lone grim"
A celebrated wit once said of his
debts that it was neither his interest
to pay the principal nor his principle
to pay the interest.
"Ice cream" called out waitress
at New York restaurant. 'Don't
scream here, 1 pray" anxiously re-
quested nervous customer.
81 say, Pat, what are you about
sweeping out the room% "No,'
answered Pat; 81 am sweeping out
the dirt and leaving the room."
Curran was once asked by one Oi
his brother judges, "Do you see any
thing ridiculous in this wig?" "Noth
ing but the head" was the reply.
The Columbus Journal, describing
an Ohio politician, says: "He is an
honest man by profession, and he
earns his bread by the sweat Of his
jaw"
Advertising pays. A Toledo maj
advertised for a servant girl, and one
of his three wives knocked at the
door in less than five hours after the
paper was out.
The tobacco worm has attacked the
plants, and good elocutionists arr
posted on the fences by the farmers
reading the excellent anti-tobaccc
tracts by the late Mr.. Trask.
A newspaper biographer, trying tt
say his subject "was hardly able tt
bear the demise of his wife," was
made by the ineXorable printer tC
say, "wear the chemise of his wife"
The boy with the bare feet, tresse
lated pants, fathers coat, and a gaudy
base ball cap on his head, appears tc
have gained permanent stand in the
community.-Danbary Neios.
''I would advise you to put YOU
head into a dye-tub, it's rather red,
said a Joker to a sandy-haired girl
81 would advise you to put yours into
an oven, it is rather soft" said
Nancy.
A good many publishers who ex
pected to wade through the financia
crisis will be somewhat discouraged
when they hear that there's trouble
at the Fords.-COmmerciGI AdUer
tiser.
A young manufacturer of our ac
quaintance is making money fast or
this motto, parodied from Poor Rich
ard: Early to bed, and early to rise
never get tight, and advertise"
A Columbia professor, reproving s
youth for the exercise of his fists
said: "We fight with our heads here.
The youth reflected, and replied thai
butting wasn't considered fair at hi:
last school.
In Norway, the longest day lasts
three months. The man who six
months ago promised to call in day
or two and settle his little bill, must
have gone to Norway on a visit.
Turner Falls Reporter.
If a young man sits up too late
with his sweetheart out at Hoddon
field, the old folks come into the par
lor, and, with arefinement of sarcasm
invite him to wait a few minutes
longer and breakfast will be ready.
If you are at church of Sunday
evening In August, without fan
cast about your eye until it lights on
an engaged couple, and, when you
see how close they snug up together,
you will lose in great degree Il sense
of the heat-Danbury Ne,os.
A wife, who had been lecturing her
husband for coming home intoxicated
became inccnsed at his indifference
and exclaimed: "Oh, that l could
wiring tears of anguish from youl
eyesr' To which the hardened
wretch hiccoughed: "Tai faint nc
use, old woman, to bo-bore for water
here"
Political Notes.
The Democrats don't carry Ken