Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-05-12
The Universal Cement.
By THE REV. SAMUEL W. DuFFrELD.

| CIl IL ~ ali UdB5Cis ~ bPllC Va
myself, heard what he said. though
be addressed vacancy and l was in
haste. He propounded it as q candi-
date for public favor and styled it the
'only true and Universal Cement"
But he had very little to show for bis
stock in trade.
Usually when one ventures upon this
line of business he has q cracked tea
pot, or a Ouptureen, or q couple of
pieces of stick roughly fastened
together. One smashes the crockery,
and shows that the old fractures are
broken across by the new. as though
they had not ever existed. Or one
whacks the sticks with q mallet, and
meanwhile vociferates the merit of the
composition which secures them.
This man did nothing of the sort. In
q deep, monotonous voice / heard him
saying: "Tbis is the only true, real
and genuine Universal Cement. Here
you see it done up in this small pack
age. Easily carried in the vest pocket
such a cent, gentlemen and ladies, as
the world has never known. The
secret of its manufacture belongs en-
tirely to myself. have no agents and
want none. Here's your true, real,
genuine Universal Cement. warranted
I W luC1o OkOkCA hCaA 70 co lACg ~ OC as
good as new. / mended mans head
with it the other day. They said he
was cracked. but l cured him. It's
good even for broken banks. 1t can
be used for public outbreaks or for
family jars. 1t is guaranteed to heal
any breach between partners In busl-
ness for life. Here's your true, real,
genuine Universal Cement-the thing
the worlds been looking for and sought
but hasn't found"
Bv this time was leaning against
doorway, listening. The crowd passed
along, but the spare man, holding up
some small white boxes in his hand,
kept on addressing the moving throng.
Strangely enough, he never seemed to
repeat anything except the announce
ment that this was the true, real,
genuine Universal Cement" All else
that he uttered was new. As l listened.
he proceeded:
"This is the finest thing in the world
when one has been cut by an acquaint-
ance. 1t will heal the wound instantly
and leave no scar. People who live in
glass houses will find it to their advan-
tage to have some of this true, real,
genuine Universal Cement. 1t will
mend mans life right away, without
half trying, just as easily as it will stop
leak in the household expenses. 1t
has been known to fasten two enemies
together like the Siamese twins.
Where's the man who would be without
this true, real, genuine Universal
Cementf It's the greatest thing on
earth for making firm the fabric of
society. 1t will mend damaged repu-
tatiOn and that is more than most
cements will do.
Ladies and gentlemen, try my true,
real, genuine Universal Cement. 1t is
splendid for hurt feelings. 1t will
make the honorable gentlemen in Con-
gress stick to their principles. 1t has
drawn together opposite interests and
held them firm. / don't know anything
| it can't do. It's the only true, real,
genuine Universal Cement. If you
want box to take home and"
whats it worth ?" said l, stepping
! forward.
Take it at your own price, sir. Make
me an offer"
"a quarter ought to buy it," said I.
eyes, it's cheap at that-dog cheap
said the thin man. But must know
what You want to mend"
"0h- h-hor said /. q thought that was
my business entirely. | guess | don't
care for any," and | was moving OFF.
"Wait a minute" cried the spare
man. Here's box for nothing. Put
it in your pocket. Are you the father
of familyf Yes, l see it in your
face. Well, sir, | know you need my
cement. IOu look as if things were not
going right with you. Let me recon-
mend this in the case of family govern
7 mant Inst faEa fha anptapfS of this
box and put it on your child's forehead
before you strike him. This is the real,
genuine Universal Cement, and il has
remarkable value in case of disci-
| pline-"
MAN alive, what are you talking
about y / exclaimed. 81 want to buy
your box. | don't want it as a gift. If
| it will mend china, that's all | ask of
it. My wife scolded me because broke
nice tea-cup at breakfast, and if it
makes that all right, l don't grudge
the quarter. Here, give me that box.
Good
So saying, | put the little white pack
age in my pocket, tossed bit of Uncle
Sans currency TO the dealer. and hur-
ried on, leaving him addressing nobody
in particular, in much the same strain
as before.
| confess the incident affected me
strangely. The mans appearance and
language were above his calling. He
looked like brOken-down minister,
and he evidently met with the poorest
kind of patronage. | carried the box
in my pocket all day, getting vexed at
it because it was an obstacle to the
ready capture of pencil or knife. At
night, when was returning from busi
ness. had like to have lost it in feeling
for my Communication ticket.
l was late for supper. My wife had
been annoyed by the servants, and
transferred part of her annoyance to
my innocent head at once. For my
own part, l felt personally aggrieved
because | was to drink my coffee from
iron-s stone, instead of china. We were
in precisely the state of mind TO be
unpleasant to each other. And, as the
children had finished their meal and
the servant was in the room, the
lowering clouds commenced to bristle
with lightning.
1t was that tea-cup-Aunt DOrOthea's
present. with my monogram upon it
which made the trouble. / grOwled at
the ir0n-stOne. and was twitted with
clumSiness.
All at once it occurred to me that /
had the box of Universal Cement in
my pocket. Happy thought, would
effect diversion and escape the hot
shot now falling thick and fast. |
therefore took 1t out. | opened il.
found, to my disgust, only a small
piece of paper. On it was printed the
single word LOVE.
l could not understand it, Neither
could my wife. We forgot about the
tea-cup in our discussion of the Uni
versal Cement.
The next morning read in the paper
that harmless lunatic had been recap
tured in the city the previous afternoon.
He had escaped from the asylum, and
when found was engaged in peddling
some patent preparation on a certain
corner in a perfectly inoffensive way.
He went willingly with the officers, but |
persisted in declaring that he ought to |
be allowed to remain, as the article he |
was selling had no superior in the |