The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1875-12-30
peanuts and other Indian curiosities
purchased in Canada

flsiGorS VIII please nOtlfy the super
intendent of any neglect on the part of the
employees to charge for commodities. %
! (No inattention of this kind is observed J
Don't throw stones down; there
might be people below ssThe pro
prietors will not be responsible for par
ties who jump over the Falls" More
sinking of responsibility-it appears to
be the prevailing thing here.)
I always had high regard for the
signers of the Declaration Of Indepen-
dence but now they do not really seem
to amount to much along with the sign-
ore of Niagara Falls.
To tell the truth, the multitude of
signs annoyed me. 1t was because [
noticed at last they were prohibiting the
very thing I was just wanting to do.
desired to roll on the grass the sign
prohibited it. I longed to smoke
sign prohibited it. And I was just in
the act of throwing stone over to as
tonish and pulverize such parties as
might be picknicking below, when sign
L have just mentioned forbids that
Even that satisfaction was denied me,
and was friendless orphan.
There was no resource row but to
seek consolation from the flowing bowl.
I drew my flask from my pocket, but it
was all in vain. A sign confronted me
which said:
''No drinking allowed on these prem
ises."
On that spot L might have perished
of thirst but for the saving words of an
honored maxim that fitted through my
memory at that moment ssAll signs
fail in dry times" Common laws take:
precedence of the statutes. was saved.
The noble red man had always been
darling of mine. I loved to read about
him In tale and legends and romance.
[ loved to read of his inspired sagacity
and of his love Of the wild, free life Of
mountain and forest, and his grand
truthfulness ; his hatred of teacher, and
his general nobility of character aid his
stately metaphorical speech, and his
chivalric love for the dnslky maiden, and
the picturesque ponap Of his dress accou-
trements.
When I found the shops Of Niagara
Falls full of dainty beadwork and
stunning moccasins, and equally stun
ming toy figures representing human
beings who carried theirweapons i'll holes
bored in their arms with bodies shaped
like pie I was filed with emotion. I
knew that now was to come face to
face with the noble red man.
A lady clerk in the shop told me, in
deed, that all her grand array were made
by the Indians, and there were plenty
above the Falls, and that they were
friendly, and that it would not be dan
gerous to speak to them.
came upon camp of them gather
ed in the shade of tree, making wam-
pun and moccasins, and addressed them
in the following language of friendship ::
Noble red men, brave, grand, Sach-
EN- war-chiefs, squaws and High-yorl-
nuch-a-mucks, the paleface from the
land of the setting sun greets you. You
benefcient Polecat you, devourer of
mountains; you Roaring Thunderbust,
the paleface from beyond the great wa
ters greets you ALL
War and pestilence have thinned
your ranks, and destroyed your once
proud nation. Poker and seven up and
a vain modern expense for soap unknown
to your glorious ancestors have depleted
your purses. Appropriating in simpli-
city the property of others has gotten
you into trouble. Misrepresenting facts
in your sinless innocence has damaged
your reputation with the soulless usur-
per. Trading with forty-rod whiskey
to enable you to get drunk and happy
and tomahawk your families has played
the everlasting mischief with the pictur
esque pomp of your dress, a: here you
are to the broad light of the nineteenth
century, gotten up like a rag-tag and
bobtail of the purlieus of New York !
For shame! Remember your ancestersl
Recall their mighty deeds Remember
Uncas and Red Jacket and Hole-in-
tbe-Day and Horace Greeley! Emu
late their achievements /! Unfurl your
selves, undo your banner, noble savage,
illustrious guttersnipes-
"Down with him -
''Scalp the blaggard p
Chang him -
"Dhrown him -
| 1t was the quickest operation ever
saw. I simply saw sudden flash IN the
air of clubs, brickbats, fists, beadbask-
cts and moccasins-a single flash, and
they all appeared to hit me at once, and
no two of them in the same place.
In the next instant the entire tribe was
upon me. They tore all the clothes off
me they broke all my arms and legs
they gave me thump that dented the
top of my head till it would hold coffee
like a saucer, and then, to crown their
disgraceful proceedings and add insult
to injury, they threw me over the. Horse
shoe Fall and got wet.
About ninety-nine or hundred feet
from the top the remains of my vest
caught on a projecting rock, and was
almost drowned before I could get loose.
I finally fell and brought up in world
of foam at the foot of the fall, whose
celled and bubbly masses lowered W
several inches above my head.
Of course l got into the eddy. I sail