Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1875-04-15

-S 0aCu cat sat seven OGnOA SNbS5 anu
on each cats tail sat cat. How many
cats in all?
lime softens all things" except
the young man who parts his hair in
tne middle and whistles on the street
cars. Nothing can make him any soft
er than he is.
A Georgia negro who bet SO that
Gen. Washington commanded the Fed
erals at Bull Run, handed the money
over with the remark: ttWell, dis yere
hist'ry business is all mixed up any
way" - - :
A careful housewife in Altoona put
an $18 order and $40 greenback into
the drawer of the coffee mill last Wed
nesday for safekeeping. Thursday
morning the family enjoyed a $2s cup
of coffee
At aprinters' festival lately the fol-
lowing toast was offered: 'sWoman-
second only to the press in the dissem-
ination ofnews." The ladies are yet
undecided whether to regard this as
compliment or otherwise. @
Shack and shill vent up dot hill =
To get bail of water,
Und dhey got ftin on der way
Shack kigged Shill sqware in der shin,
Und dot gif him der fever,
While Shack did never leefe happy agin.
On ackound of dot which he had done to his
friendt.
81 tell you what" said a .widower
one night as he finished washing the
dishes, 'tit's a mighty solemn thing to
think that Maria Jane is down in the
cold ground, instead of being around
to churn and cut wood, and sich."
A baggage-smasher tossed a trunk
out of the car at Pella, the other day,
minus one handle. s'Why," asked the
policeman. "Didn't you rip off both
the handles !" "Sorry to disappeint
you," said the trunk scalper, ''but it's
rule on the road always to leave one
handle on" 20
"My very dear Children" said
travelling Sunday school gimlet, 81
love you so much I could talk all day
to you, but time forbids. But hope
to meet you in Heaven, and then"
81 hope he WON'T" said restless, red
headed boy, s'he'll talk US to death;
won't he Jim ?" -
A Missourian who attended a pray
er meeting with his daughter, one day
last week, felt compelled to rise and
remark 81 want to be good and go
to Heaven, but if those fellows don't
stop winking at Mary, there will be
good deal of prancing round here, the
first thing they know"
ssBy planting several Limburger
cheeses about his potato patch a farm
er in Linn county, Iowa, drove of all
the potato bugs while his neighbors
suffered severely from their ravages."
This is that kind of cheese which is
said to be ripe when bit as big as
pea will drive dog out Of tan yard.
An honest old farmer from Clinton
county, who had come deWn to the city
to pass Sunday with his metropolitan
| friends, being asked by one of them
| this morning what the people up in
Northern New York think, of the
Beecher scandal, replied that he never
tried it-that he and all his neighbors
burn kerosene.-[ N. Y. Evening Post.
A newly married couple from some
| WuSIS OOMn HtIC 4GA4S1As 4SsSS ft~AO
riding in Grand River car yesterday,
and the groom insisted on holding the
brides hand in his big, red paw. ''Oh /!
no, don'tp' she said. as she jerked her
hand away ooh! luv, let me hold
your hand for ten minutes" +" he plead
ed. "Shoo! don't you see they are
looking at US 2' she whispered. "They
are, eh % he replied, looking up and
down the car. "Well, now, I'm going
to- put my arm right around ye, and II
any fellow in this car dares to spit
crooked I'll git up n mop the floor
with him till wear him up to the
shoulder blades p' His arm encircled
her, and the other passengers looked
as solemn as if they were on their way
home from a funeral.--[Detroitt Free
Press.