The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1875-01-16
Humorous.

heat his vile with an old shoe because
she would not go down stairs and find
burglar. Served her right, What is
wife for, anyway?
An ambitious st. Louis girl has got
her Dame in the papers by shaving un-
I'll she has raised mOustache on her
upper lip. The papers out that way
appear to feel very Dig about it,although
we don't see why they should. We
know any number of girls here in Le-
lighton who have had moustaches on
their lips, and yet we never saw any
Thing about 1t in the daily journals.
However, there may be difference in
the cases. The moustaches were on
the lips of young men at the same time
they were on the lips Of the girls. Oh,
twolipsl
A retired clergyman sends us an ac-
count of little affair that happened in
his place. 1t appears that there was a
young woman, fine, spilited girl, en-
gagged at a washi9b opposite an open
door. just behind her was a young
man, as is generally the case, and in
the yard was an old buck that was al
lowed the freedom of the premises,
which was not always the case, we are
glad to say. Well, the buck came up to
the door and looked in, and the young
man, going close behind the young wo-
man, pointed his finger straight at the
buck, and the old fellow, recognizing at
once the pressing character of this mute
invitation, put down his head and dash
ed forward, and the miserable man step
ped one side and fled The young wo-
man, all unconscious of the arrange
ment, received the awful shock without
warning, and passed over The tub; the
air for an instant appeared to be full Of
slippers aud wet clothes and soap and
hot water and suds. The next minute
the goat came fly ing out of the door at
o dreadful speed, bald the whole length
Of the spine, and with wild look in
his eye. And for an hour afterwards
he stood back of the barn scratching his
chin, and trying to recall all the circum.
stances Of the affair.
Here is another story about Horace
Greeley: On certain occasion, as he
sat writing at his editorial desk, he re-
ceiyed visit from an irate man, who
spent fifteen minutes in pouring ont up-
on his head torrent of denunciation
to which the abused man replied not by
90 much as a single word. At length
the visitor, seeing that the editor couldnot
be induced to pay him the compliment
of defending himself, passed out of the
door with a growl. Thereupon Mr..
Greeley, rising, with his pen In hand,
and following the departing censor, cried
out: "Come back, my friend, and Tree
your mind. Don't 60 off without entire
ly relieving yourself"
The German papers tell this story in
connection with Baron Rothschlld's s
death. A and b meeting-B, weep
ing and sobeing aloud. "Says A,
why do you weep?" Because" says
B, as if his heart were breaking, she
Is deal, the powerful, the rich ba
ron." But" replies 4, "why d,
you cry so much; he was no relation OF
yours?" "That's just what l am cry
ing about" howls B, more affected
than ever.
WheL Tilted young man looks oil
her, who is now another's, and see
that the once 1.-THE form resembles {
sack of wheat with string tied in tn
middle; sees the eyes that once "looke(
love to eyes that spake again." bearing
marks of the uxorial bootjack or Dlac k
ing bottle; sees the five red-haired chill
dren aud the tow headed twins, then in
decd, he may sigh and recall the poet
word the saddest sit might have been
worse, for me.
A farmer in Montgomery county ha
q mile of children. His name is Ful
long, and he has eight sons.
A Toast.-Newspaper borrowers
May theirs be life of single blessed
ness, may their path be carpeted wit
cross-eyed snakes and their nights |
haunted with knock'kneed cats.
TO become peace-makers Play ;
football in crockery shop.
"Injunearing Done Here" is Il
sign of the Times in Detroit.
A Chicago shirt dealer advertise
''Buy from Inc, or shall burst"
The species most wanted to sett
our country financial dilliculties-GO
and silver.
Mrs. Partington declares that 81
does not wish to vote, as she fears 81
coulden' t stand the shock of the ele