Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-09-16
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

The first thing in a boot is the last.
The way to meet a man Of doubtful
credit is to take no note of him.
One New England firm is going to
make million axes next year Handle
with care.
--"Do you take kindly to mental serv-
icey" asked lady of an applicant.
" Well, yes, the hymcneal" answered the
girl.
Some persons act as if their debts
were like coffee, and could settle them
selves by standing, when the effect more
often is to settle those who owe them.
Even though the day is dark and q
fellow hasn't any muskmelon for dinner,
it could be worse. Suppose you had had
$4,000 in the busted bank of California?
How unequally justice is distributed
in this world is shown in the fact that
there is but one patcntright man in the
Northern Indiana Pcnitcntary Courier
Journal.
The San Antonio Herald is right. 1t
says no man with any regard for his
family should fight in barroom unless
he Is a paid-up subscriber to both daily
papers.
Miss Lizzie Goss, of Harrisburg, Pa,
offers to go up in balloon with any man
who will take her. She has sued three
be new plan.
If the lazy men Of the world could
only give their spare time to the busy men
in it, things would get TO flying so that the
former would all be run over and killed in
less than week.
"A man in Bolton, Conn, has discov-
cred new remedy for bald heads. 1t is
to go bare headed. He has tried the rem
edy for two years and, whereas he was
bald, his head is now covered with hair.
An inhospitablc householder of Salem,
Mass, violently hauled to the police sta
ton the other night an unfortunate tramp
who reused the family little after mid
night with the simple request for glass
of iced water
Secretary Robson says that brook
trout and nearly all kinds Of what he calls
fiake-fsh are best when twenty-four hours
out Of the water or thereabouts; that the
common theory, the fresher the better, is
a mistake.
A scorpion was caught by some rail
,ormentcd until, in its rage, il struck
itself on its back with its poisoned dart;
il Immediately grew quiet, and in less
"A legal luminary of Northampton,
Mass, collected bill against certain
hotel the other day after a previous in
eflectual attempt by the usual process.
He sent three Deputy Sheriffs to attach
the dinner just about five minutes before
it was TO be eaten.
The Grass Valley Union wishes the
question decided whether the noun poll
tics is singular or plural. Without claim
ing to decide the grammatical question,
we assert that politics are very singular
this season.-MarysutNe (CatD appeal
An old lady in New York particular
ly desired that a certain cushion on which
She sat in church should be buried with
her, and, as there was difficulty about get
ting it into her coffin, il was luckily pro-
posed to cut it, when several dollars in
greesbacks came to light.
"A young lady in the country, in.
censed at an egotistica young man from
the city, said: Z" If the butcher down in
the village could buy you at the price
SbHl HOlV }Di NJ anu sell
you at your own estimation of yourself,
he could retire from business on what he'd
make on that single speculation in veal"
The Supreme Court of Vermont has
decided that the national banks cannot
bind themselves nor their corporators by
accepting bonds, coins or other valuable
things upon special deposit for safe keep
ing and seturn upon demand and that no
recovery can be had against the bank for
any such deposit left with the cashier and
not returned on request
AT the late meeting Of the Association
for the Advancement Of Science it was de-
eided that inland salt lakes and seas were
simply remnants Of the ocean which once
covered the continent, and which in re-
ceding left all the basins filled with salt
water. Where these basins had natural
outlets, drainage and fresh-water feeders
in time rendered the water fresh. Where
there is no outlet the lakes remain salt.