The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1875-11-04

b IS sts N6iE down;
stsalsy Go Alricau Hgsauita
oes te IS Big S 9 KeHtuclty chew Of
tobacco.
-. 8 = y
Fzling himssH to 2ccouht !ot ths.hdft
times:
Bfsiaarct's daughter is thirty:eight
and he has succeeded III getting her
married. Bismarck is u great-a.
very great man.
An exchange says: aBarnum pays
his new balloonist $500 per day.
And even with Such a good salary
that man rs liable to go up.'
what does Good Friday mean?g,
asked one boy of another. "You had
better 20 home and read dyour Robits
soif efusuj" was the witherfRg rePh
In the case Of the mar who died Of
having had all his teeth knocked out
with a hatchet, an Alabama jury re-
srrred a verdict Of adcath from axe,
dental causes"
Oxford University has Just issued :
'the smallest Bible in the world. "a
Ore as small as a three-cent piece
would be too cumbersome for some
men to carry around with them.
A Duluth assessor says it is posi-
lively amazing how cheap property
becomes as he passes up or down. a
street. 1t falls twenty percent. eve
ry time he enters a.house.
In New York prayer.meetings they
pray for. the editor Of the Herald
There's Just where people get foolish
in religion. They expect too much
oft.
A Brooklyn girl Is engaged to be
married to an Italian Count, and in
the. course of four or FIVE years she
may be looked for on the street with
a hand-organ playing the usual and
oft-repeatef tunes;
Florida papers report an almost. to-
tai failure of the sponge crop, while
Gortherr.free-l lunch saloon clerks:say
that sthefe=Gre more spoages around,
this fall than they eyer saw before,
They have found a petrifed Nor
mon in Utah, and from the number
of dents in the heGds evidently made,
with a poker and fiat-iron, it is judg-
ed that he had at least forty wives:
An Indiana gentleman buried one
wife on Tuesday, married another
on Thursday, and was divorced en-
Saturday, and he wants to know If
bigger weeks work was ever perform
ed BY any one man before panic;
It is said that the ghost of an Eng
lish soldier roat1ts ground Fort Bull
at night, looking for his scalp, which
he lost there 120 years ago. He had
much better go to town and buy one.
He can get a nice banged front for
eighty cents.
The following epitaph, COPIED from
q Pennsylvania tombstone, has been
sent to the Historical Society Of that
State: aHere lies the bodie Of Marga-
ret Fay her would if her could but
her conldn't stay, her bad legs and q.
baddish cough it were her legs as
carried her Of"
A correspondent writes to know
why we do not publish more original
poems. The trouble is generally that
they are not long enough. Most
young writers confne themselves to
twenty OF twenty-five verses, and the
sentiment has no opportunity for
expansion.
An Erie canal boat captain, who
had been reading of Moody and San-
key, determined to live a better life,
and calling his crew around him he
said: @See here, you lying, skulking,
wicked disgraceful set, you've got.t8
tend prayers every morning or III
kick the whole pile Of YOU in a heap!"
Brigham Young says a woman
who can't make dress out Of eleven
yards of calico, will find Heavens
gate too narrow for her to enter
However, Point Pleasant women viii
use from eighteen to thirty tards, and
run the risk Of squeezing through the
gate or of finding a ladder to 90 over
the walls.
A eauntry girl near town, mistook
the meaning of a t6tfns man who
was looking up pickers for ffis
fathers hon yord and whom asknd If