The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1875-04-29

A summer boarding place, at which city
people should find all the comforts and
convenience they wish, has never vet been
established but it will be seen by the fol-
lowing advertisement that an effort has
been made in that direction:
T'IIE SUITEM HOUSE.
L STRIVE & SWEET Proprietors.
SAPoNACEoUs SPRINGS. y. Y.
This hotel has been built and arranged
for the special comfort and convenience of
summer boarders. On arrival each guest
will be asked how he likes the situation,
and if he says the hotel ought to have been
placed up upon the knoll or farther down
toward the village, the location of the
house will be Immediately changed.
Corner front rooms up only one flight for
every guest.
Baths, gas, water-closet, hot and cold
water, laundry, telegraph, restaurant, fire.
alarm, bar room, billiard table, daily pa
per, coupe, sewing machine, grand piano,
a clergyman and all other modern con-
veniences in every room. Meals every
minute if desired, and consequently no
second table. English, French and Ger
man dictionaries furnished every guest to
make up such a bill of fare as he may de-
sire without regard to the bill affair after
ward at the office. Walters ofany nation
ality and color desired Every waiter
| furnished with libretto, button hoIe
bouquet, full-dress suits, ball tablets and
his hair parted in the middle. Every
guest will have the best seat in the dining
hall and the best waiter in the house.
Any guest not getting his breakfast red
hot, or experiencing a delay of sixteen
seconds after giving his order for dinner,
will please mention the fact at the office,
Il u ,,,Ir II
| from the mouths of cannon in front of the
hotel at once Children will be welcomed
with delight, and are requested to bring
hoop sticks and hawkeyes to bang the
| carved rosewood furniture especially pro-
vided for that purpose, and peg tops to
| spin on the velvet carpets they will be al
lowed to bang on the pianos at all hours,
yell in the halls, slide down the banisters,
fall down stairs, carry away dessert enough
for small family in their pockets at
dinner, and make themselves as disagree
able as the fondest mother can desire.
Washing allowed in rooms, and ladies
| giving an order TO "put me on fatiron"
will be put on one at any hour of the day
or night. A discreet waiter who belongs
to the Masons, Odd Fellows and Knights
of Pythias, and who was never known to
| even tell the time of the day, has been en-
ployed to carry milk punches and hot
| toddies to ladies' rooms in the evening.
Every lady will be considered the belle
of the house, and row boys will answer
the belle promptly. Should any row boy
fail to appear at guests door with a
pitcher of ice-water, more towels, a gin
cocktail and pen, ink and paper before
the guests hand has left the bell knob. he
will be branded Front" on the forehead
and imprisoned for life.
The office clerk has been carefully Sc
lected TO please everybody, and can lead
in prayer, play draw poker, match
worsteds at the village store, shake for the
drinks at any hour, day or night, play
billiards, is good waltzer, and can dance
the German, make fourth at euchre,
amuse children, is a good judge of horses,
as a railway and steamboat reference is
far superior to Appleton's or anybody
else's guide, will firt with any young
lady and not mind being cut dead when
" Pa comes down. Can room forty peo-
pie in the best room in the house when
the hotel is full, attend to the annunciator
and answer questions in Greek, Hebrew,
Choctaw, Irish or any other polite Ian
guage at the same moment without turn
ing hair.
Dogs allowed in any room in the house,
including the w(h)ine-room. Gentlemen
can drink, smoke, swear, chew, gamble,
stare at the new arrivals and indulge in
any other innocent amusements common
TO watering places in any part of the hotel
The landlord will always be happy to
hear that some other hotel is 1.-THE best
house in the country Special attention
given to parties who can give information
as to how these things are done in
Yewrup."
The proprietor will take it as a personal
atfront if any guest on leaving should fail
to dispute his bill, tell him that he is a
swindler, his house a barn, his table
wretched, his wines vile, and that he, the
guest, was never so imposed upon In his
life, will never stop there again and means
to warn his friends. Boston Commercial
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