The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1875-01-14


| All the diference-The aucicnts
used TO urn their desd: the modern
earn their living.
That was ! bright little child who
enquired: ma, when csws die, do
they Al 60 the Milky Way?"
II The man who sang, aOh! breathe
no more that simple air" went into
the smoking car, where it vas more
mixed.
| An Ohio sheriff felt good deal
Of embarrassment On having 70 tahs
to the psniteatiary . man Who hsd
been convicted Of voting for him
three times.
Artificial butter making has never
proved . success. The difficulty hes
in putting ID the hairs % that they
look natural. as%
Last week st. Croix girl, in st
Of anger because she couldn't get her
foot into small aixed shoe, siezed .
carving-knife and out OF her little
toe.
A Washington Judge has decided
that in the case of . drawn bet the
stakeholder may either keep the
money himself or devote IL 70 bet
ter purpose in charity.
The colored Methodisis OF Chris
tian county, KY, know where their
pastors donations" Of pork come
from. He has been caught surrepti.
tiously hanging on the ragged edge
Of neighbor's hog-pen.
In New Haven, Conn.,, the Medi-
cal College is ON the rosd 10 the cem-a
esery; the Divinity College on the
road to the almshonse, and the Law
School on the road TO the jail.
"Only woman's hair" remarked
Spivins, musingly, - he gazed down
into his plate; "a red headed woman
at that. 1t may be very sentimental,
but 1t somehow gets away with my
appetite"
A. little girl who had just recover
ed from . severe attack of the cro0r,
on being asked by her Sunday school
teacher what she should "do to be
saved" replied, 81 should take syrnp
IN alum"
General Dot, the American Dwarf,
Who recently died in Paris, rests in
coffin not much larger than . Cigar
box. They thought il hardly worth
while to crcmate him.
An Iowa man, it is said, was grant
ed divorce from his wife on the
ground that she was scruclly dare
less" She made him wash in : pint
pasin, cooked beans in the tes pot
and left the beds unmade from July
3 to October IL.
The Rev. e. p. Hammond tele-
graphs that he has heavy crSp Of
souls to harvest in California, and
will commence operations Jsnuary l.
The amount Of salary received 10 not
stated but We suppose III 10 the same
old figure, 1900 per week.
The man who has not anything to
boast Of but his illustrious ancestors
is like potato plant only good
belonging TO HIM is under ground.
"Papa, are you growing taller al
the time p .No, my child; Why do
you askY "'Causs tho top of your
head 10 poking through your hair.
"A home without children is like
heaven without angels" says Ken
tucky paper. We just want TO have
him get out of bed four times . night
for ! month TO keep the baby's legs
covered up.
An Indiana man bet $40 that he
could ride the fy wheel in q saw mill
and as his widow paid the bet she
remarked, civilian was kind hus
band, but he didn't know much about
fly wheels"
When one woman attempts to pass
another woman going down . church
aisle, and rips off that other woman's
hanging pocket in doing it, even the
most cursory examination Of the lat
ter's countenance will make it plain
that the Sabbath in her soul has fed.
A distinguished doctor ilnpres
es upon his fair readers the import.
ancs st this season Of keeping their
mouth shut ON going out OF the house
into the open air; whsreon selfish
Caudle remarks that it's more desir-
able that they should keep their lips
closed indoors.
A little fellow, Eve years old, who
had been wearing undsrshirts much
too small for him, was ono day, after
being washed, put into . garment -
much too large. Our six year old
shrugged his shoulders, shook him
self, walked around, and finally burst
out with: 'Ma, l do feel awful lone
some in this shirt!'
In Worcester the other day Mr..
Rogers and his wife were opposing
candidates for the school committee
in the second ward. Mr.. Rogers
was nominated by the citizens and
Mrs. Rogers by the Independents.
She beat him two to one, and served
him right. A man who runs against
his wife is 4 fool.
A. H. Stephens refused to speak
on the fair grounds in Sandersville,
Ga., unless the gates were thrown
open to the public. This was done
and the crowd rushed in and SUR
rounded . patent medicine dealer,