The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1875-06-24
Items of Interest.

Why is pig the most provident of
animals ? Because he always carries q
spare rib or two about him.
Kansas teacher" Where does all of
our grain product go to?" Boy" It
goes into the hopper" chopper
What hopper9" /" Grasshopper, tri-
umphantly shouts the lad.
In Rome q law has been passed con-
denning persons guilty of blaspheming
I God, Christ or the Virgin and saints in
| the streets to q months Imprisonment
for the first offense and six months for
the second.
At Abilene, Kansas, is a wheat field
| containing one thousand three hundred
acres covered with wheat in excellent
condition. The crop has been contract
ed for at 81. 25 per bushel, and will prob
ably bring $4,000.
"Now where't my summer pants 2"
yells the impatient husband, after
fruitless hunt from cellar to attic; and
his wife timidly points to a pair of
china Samuels on the mantelpiece and
meekly murmurs, "they were SO
cheap"
The report of the secretary of the
hlueTlCun IrOu anu SUbel dSSOCluUlOu
shows that the falling off in the con-
sumption of iron in this country for the
year 1874, as compared with that of
1873, was about 100000 tons, while the
production was much greater than was
anticipated.
During a sanitary survey recently in
Lincolnshire a man was found aged
ninety-five years, who had been in the
habit of drinking a gallon of beer be-
fore breakfast, another during the day,
and few extra pints at night to top off
with, and who had never been i'll day
in his life.
This year the southern counties of
California sent to San Francisco $780,
600 oranges, $40. 900 lemons, and $4,000
lines. The consumption of California
is about 100000 oranges year, and
100000 are brought from Mexico and
the Pacific isles.
Deaf and dumb men don't stand much
show i'll Texas, anyhow. Recently,
while one of them was feeling in his
pocket for slate pencil wherewith to
communicate his wants, q native shot
him in the hand, on the supposition that
lie was getting out weapon.
A lady who loved Bulwer entered q
bookstore just as one of the clerks had
killed large rat. 81 wish to see
what will lie done with it p" she said
to boy behind the counter. "Well,"
said the boy, "if you'll step to the
window, you will probably see him sling
1t into the back lot"
The man who drops poker because
the handle is warm, and then carelessly
picks it up again by the end that is red
hot, generally gets about as much SYM
pathy as the man who rushes to the
newspaper Office to have an explanation
published, and finds when the correction
comes out that it's ten times as bad as
the original.
A Paris paper tells of lady who is in
Producing new era into furniture fash
ion. She is having all her chairs, sofas,
and carriages stuffed with aromatic
herbs, which emit an agreeable perfume,
and not too powerful, around the air.
This fashion, it appears, is of Eastern
extraction, and is prevalent throughout
the greater part of Asia.
A shopkeeper purchased Of an Irish
woman a quantity of butter, the Jumps
of which, intended as pounds, he
weighed in the balance and found want
ing. "Shure ISIS your own fault if
they are light" said Biddy, in reply to
the complaints of the buyer, it's your
own fault, sir, for wasn't it with a pound
of your own soap bought here myself
that weighed them WITH" The shop
Ike: per had nothing more to say on that
subject.
A census enumerator in Albany asked
an old maid her age: "Thirtyone,
she replied. "Oho !" calculated the
questioner, increduously, "are you
married 2" "No, sir, she said.
"Aha !" was the second exclamation,
accompanied by knowing leer. The
aged maiden glanced over his shoulder
into the book, saw that he had put her
down as fifty-one, and an instant later
he had more scratches and less hair than
when he entered.