The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1875-04-22
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
WHOLE NO. 1856.
Miscellaneous.

A heavy business-importing ele-
plants.
Garlic eaters are not crowded in street
cars
"And still he spelled, and still the
wonder grew
That one small head could carry all he
knew"
IF there is anything on earth that beats
four aces it is q kind and amiable wife,
At a recent Cory footrace between
two girls the one with the blue garter
beat.
Many men are blessed with the most
uncommon sense, and do not seem to
know it.
"Send me- letter of true inwardness
or paroxysmal kiss"--writes gushing
lover.
Why is the capital of Turkey like a
whimsical patient2 Because it's con-
slant to no pill.
Carlyle is not fit man for a census
taker. He says England is populated
by 40OOO,O00 souls-mostly fools"
A little man observed that he had two
negative qualities: he never lay long in
bed and he never wanted great coat.
st. Louis has ten thousand dogs The
natives wear section of stovepipe on
each leg during the mad dog season
Talk about the poetry of motion and
sylph like grace, but did you ever stand
10y and see a woman use one-tined fork
to flop stove cover OFF,"
A Troy bigamist ran out of a back
door while his two wives were fighting
over the question to which should have
him, and has not since been seen.
When Detroter was asked the other
day by traveller if he had ever been in
Brooklyn he hastened to reply: DO l
look like one of tnat sort of men, sir p
1t has been discovered that shaky
firms usually belong to the Millerite per-
suasion, because they all keep the day of
their going up profound secret.
A Chicago man thinks that the worst
speller ought to get the Dictionary. and
the winner should have wreath of sor-
rel, or some other garden sass, like
them Greeks"
The Providence press says it never
heard in funeral grafton or sermon, -
and seldom in private conversation, the
opinion expressed that man with $l0,-
900 income had gone to hell.
Every man who mails package SUBJ
ject to the new postage rates drops it
| into the hole with the wish that Senator
Hamlin had to sit for two hours on a
| hot shovel.
The average Gorilla of Central Africa,
! 10 0toolay op1 bic hand 0f
explorers, ahd pathetically reminds his
| grand children that lit is what they may
one day expect to come to"
During their forty years of wandering
in the desert the clothes of the lsraelites
did not wear out; and more than one
taller keFeabouts thinks that some SIM
liar phenomenon can account for the
dullness of trade in their line.
A Brooklyn lady, whose husband has
an unpleasant habit of railing at her, has
hit upon the plan of calling in her SER
wants when he begins to let out his tenn
per, and then turning to him and saying
sweety: Now, my dear, please go on
with your remarks" He doesn't go on,
at least not as he began.
| A quiet, peaceable gentleman in Phil
| adelphia has recently given up business,
sent his family into the country, and
calmly announces his determination OF
| devotng the remainder of his life to dis
covering the man who sent him paving
stone by express, with $l7 charges on it.
The folly of inflcting French phrases
on country postmaster was demonstra-
ted the other day, when letter dropped
into the Logansport (lnd } office. direc-
ted to young man viNe, was sent by
| the intelligent officer in charge to Evans
Vile, and there detained till too late to
accomplish its intended purpose.
A Nevada woman recently knocked
| down seven burglars, one after another.
| Her husband watched her from the top
! of the stairs, and felt so brimful of battle
that he couldn't cool off until he had
| jerked his eight-ye old boy out OF bed
and 'whaled' him soundly for not get
ting up and helping his mother
Got anything for a sick man to read2
| inquired a pug-nosed boy at a news stand
the other day. yes, anything you want
Bibles, poems, religious books, and so
forth" replied the clerk "BiblesT ech-
oed the boy, do you think dads a han
gel? Gimme a lively dime novel-one
with an Injun sculping solger.
/ have you any eSSSt iHqulESO
peaceful looking old man he leaned
! over the counter of hardware store re-
Gently. No sr,-this is a hardware
store; we keep nails. stoves, etc" an
swered the clerk. "Well. l did want
some eggs" slowly drawled the old man,
"but haint particular, and you may
give me pound of nails"
"When 1 was travelling in Massachu-
setts. some twenty years ago" said
traveller, 81 had seat with the driver
who, on stopping at the post-otfice salut-
ed an Unlocking fellow on the steps with,
Good morning. Judge Sander; | hope
you'r re WE'LL sirg After leaving the Office,
asked the driver if the man he spoke
to was really judge. Certainly, SIR
he replied. We had cock fight last
week, and he was made a judge on that
| occasion
| Every girl and every boy should have
the care of something belonging to him,
| or her, to raise, or cultivate. or improve.
When there is plenty of room, as on
farm. boys should own horse or a COW,
or have portion of the garden to culti-
vate Girls should be allowed to possess
a beehive, or certain number of hens,
or fruit bearing vines; something of
value, that by care and proper cultivation
| increases and returns value, for itself
Children will acquire an interest in and
| J,,;,,o a b,pninass from this farm of in