Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1875-01-14
From the Detroit Free Press.
THAT EMERSON BOY.
The Incarnation OF Mischief.

That Emerson boy is dead, and
| there isn't any one around that house
to make fun. He was cheerful, live
ly boy, and he did his best to make
that household put on the mantle of
| Ijoyfulness. Emerson often remarked
that Rob didn't seem ever to sit down
and think of the grave and death, and
he probably never did.
No, Bob wasn't of that make. He
wanted to have fun. Both his ears
was nearly worn up by being euffed so
much, and it took a whole row Of cur
rant bushes to furnish whips to dust
his jacket for the summer.
Emerson didn't know what fun was
until Bob was eight years old Then
the boy began to launch out. He
would bore gimlet-hole in the bottom
of the ater-pail, put cartridges in the
coal stove, unscreW the door-knobs,
fill the kerosene lamp with water, and
a good thrashing didn't burden his
mind over five minutes. Sometimes
his father would take him by the hair
and yank him up to the sofa and sit
down and ask:
Robert Parathon Emerson, what in
blazes ails YEP
It's the yallar jaunders, 1 guess
Bob would meekly reply.
Robert, dent you want to be an
angelo the old man would continue.
and have wingsr
Yes, my son.
And fly higher'n a kite ?
Yes
And fight hawks? p
yes, I guess So
Bet your beef 1 would--whoop!
Bully for the angels
That's sacrilege, that is = the old
man would remark, and he would jerk
Bob's hair some more, and declare
that the young man was bound for the
gallows. After lying under the pear
tree for six minutes, Bob would re-
cover from his sadness and go over
to the barn and run the pitchfork
through the straw cutter, harness up
the cow and stick pins into the family
horse.
One night he brought home a wolf
trap and set it in the middle of the
wood-shed floor to catch a rat. He
chuckled a good deal that evening at
the thought of what would happen to
the rats, and he fell asleep and dream
ed that he was a hand organ, and that
some one stole the crank off him, so
that he couldn't be played on. just
before going to bed old Emerson went
out after a scuttle of coal, and he
stepped his bootless foot into that
trap. He made mighty spring and
uttered mighty yell, and it took two
men ten minutes to spring the trap off
his leg.
'It's that boys workr he groaned
as he nursed his foot, and he took up
the boot jack, limped into the bed
room, and gave Bob an awful clip just
as the child was dreaming Of playing
baseball with mermaid.
I'll pound ye to death if ye don't
stop this foolingP cried the old man,
but he hadn't been out of the bed
room ten minutes before Bob was
planning to stop up the chimney next
day and smoke everybody out of the
house. 1t wasn't many days before
he fixed a darning needle in the eush.
ion OF his fathers arm chair and
bounced the old man three feet high,
and his licking hadn't got over smart
ing before he exploded a firecracker
in his mothers snuff box. That night
the old nan said to him as he took him
by the ear:
Robert Pathron Emerson, do you
ever think of where you will go to p
yes, Sir he answered, 'I'll go to
bed purity soon.
s Then he got another mauling, and
went to bed to dream that he was a
three tined pitchfork, and that man
was using him to load hay with.
Poor boy! Even three days before
he died, and while on his dying bed,
he managed to slip an eight-ounce
tack into his fathers left boot and get
up another circus.