The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-06-17
The Man With the Exterminator.

in 1S44.-Colastry Gentleman.
The Man With the Exterminator.
He smiled blandly as he halted for a
moment in front of the City Hall. He
looked like man who could palm off al
most any thing on the public at one hun
bred per cent. profit and yet leave each
customer in grateful mood. He had a
tin trunk in his hand, and as he sailed
down Lafayette Avenue the boys wonder
ed whether the trunk contained tax re-
ceipts or horse liniment. The stranger
halted in front of residence, his smile
deepened, and he mounted the steps and
pulled the bell.
lis the lady at homer" he inquired of
the girl who answered the bell.
The girl thought he was the census
taker, and she seated him in the parlorand
called the lady of the house. When the
lady entered the stranger rose, bowed and
said:
''Madam, l have just arrived in this
town after tour extending clear down to
Floridasand wherever went l was receiy-
ed with glad welcome"
Ibid you wish TO see my husband?" she
asked as he opened the tin trunk.
lady of the house in all cases. A woman
will appreciate the virtues of my extermi-
nator and purchase bottle where man
will order me OF the steps without g.anc-
ing at it."
YOar-your what? 2" she asked
madam" he replied as ne placed four
ounce phial of dark liquid on the palm OF
his left hand, g madam, | desire to call
your attention to my sunset Bedbug
Exterminator,' 1t has been tried at home
and abroad, and in no case has it failed
| to"
what doyO mean, sir ?'' she demand
ed, getting very red in the face. leave
this house instantly J"
Madam, | do not wish you to infer
| from my -"
81 want you to leave this housed" she
| shrieked.
Madam, allow me to explain my"
81 will call the police " she screamed,
making for the door, and he hastily locked
his trunk and hurried out.
Going down the street about two blocks
| he saw the lady of the house at the parlor
widow, and instead of climbing the steps
| he stood under the window and politely
said
MADAM, don't wish to even hint that
any of the bedsteads in your house are in
| habited by bedbugs, but -"
"Whati What's that?" she exclaimed.
| 81 said that hadn't the remotest idea
that any of the bedsteads in your house
were infested by bedbugs," he replied.
Take yourself out of this yard! > she
shouted, snatching a tidy off the back of a
chair and brandishing it at him.
"Beg pardon, madam, but should like
te call your -
"Get out!" she screamed "get out,
or I'll call the gardener"
81 will get out, madam, but | wish you
understood -"
"J-a-w-n! J-a-w-n! " she shouted out
of a side window, but the exterininatOr
agent was out of the yard before John
could get around the house.
He seemed discouraged as he walked
down the street; but he had Travelled less
than block when he saw a stout woman
sitting on the front steps Of a fine resi-
dence, tanning herself.
"StOut women are always gOOd-na-
tured,' he sOliloquized as he opened the
gate.
"Haven't got any thing for the grass
hopper sufferers :" she called out as he en-
tered.
There was an angelic smile on his face
as he approached the steps, set his trunk
down and said:
"My mission, madam, is even nobler
than acting as agent for distressed COM
munity. The grasshopper sufferers do
not comprise one hundredth part of the
worlds population, while my mission is
to relieve the whole world"
- | don't want any peppermint essence"
she continued as he started TO unlock the
trunk.
Great heavens, madam, do resemble
a peddler Of cheap essences y he eXclaim-
ed. Il AIN not one. | am here in De-
trOit to enhance the comforts of the night
to produce pleasant dreams. Let me
call your attention to my Sunset Bedbug
EXierminat3r, a liquid warranted to"
Bed whrtl' she screamed, ceasing to
fan her fat cheeks.
MY Sunset Bedbug EXterminator. 1t
is to-day in use in the humble negro
cabins on the banks of the Arkansaw, as
well as in the royal palace of her Majesty
You r-r-rascal! you villyunr' she
wheeZed; show dare you insult me
in"
"No insult, madam, it is pure matter
Of"
Leave, Git o-w-tr' she screamed,
clutching at his hair, and he mad to go out
in such hurry that he couldn't lock the
trunk until he reached the walk.
He travelled several blocks, and turned |
several corners before he halted again, |
and his smile faded away to melancholy |
grin. He saw two or three ragged child |
rem at gate, noticed that the house was |
old, and he braced up and entered.
81 WANTS no soap,'' said the woman of
the house as he stood in the door.
"Soap, madam, soap. | have no soap. |
noticed tina you live in an old house, |
and as old houses are pretty apt to be in
tested -"
II WANTS no bins or needles to-day"
she shouted.
"Madam. am not pedler of Yankee
notions" he replied. 81 am selling a
liquid, prepared only by myself, which is
warranted to -"
al WANTS no baper collars ~ she ex-
claimed, motiOning him to leave.
Paper collars! [ have often been |
mistaken for Shakespeare, madam. but
never before for paper collar peddler. |
Lett unlock my trunk and show
81 WANTS no matches-n0 dObaccO-no |
zigars!' she interrupted, and her husband |
came around the corner and after eyelng |
the agent for moment remarked:
"If you don't be quick out of here l
shall not have any Smoking about it
At dusk last night the agent was sitting
on a salt barrel in front of commission
house, and the shadows of evening were
slowly deepening the melancholy look on
his face-Detroit Free Press.
Pot au Ecu.