davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1875-05-11

POET RY.
Farmer John.

Home from his journey Farmer John
Arrived this morning safe and sound,
III black coat off, and his old clothes, on,
Now m myself! says Farmer John
And he thinks, - I'll look around.
Up leaps the dog =" Get down you pup!
Are you so glad you would eat me upY'
The old COW lows at the gate TO meet him;
The horses prick up their ears to meet him;
WELL we'll, old Bay
Ha, ha, old Gray
Do you get good feed when am away?
"You have not a rib /" says Farmer john
-" The cattle are looking round and sleek;
The colt is going TO be a roam.
And a beauty too how he has grown
W We II weap can the :. ell e 4 neT! week. eek
To call you again about the trough,
And watch you, aud pet you while you drink,
Is a greater comfort than you can think
And he pats old Bay,
And he saps old Gray;
All, this is the comfort ofgoing away
For after all, " says Farmer John,
" The best Of journey is getting home.
I've seen great sights but would give
This spot and the peaceful life live
For all their Paris and Rome2
These bills for the ety's stiaed air.
And big hotels all hustle and glare,
Land all houses, and roads all stones,
That deafen your ears and batter your bonesY
Would you, old Bayy
Would you old Gray?
That's what one gets by going away
There money is king, " says Farmer John;
And Fashion is queen and its mighty queer,
To see how sometimes, while the man,
Is raking and scraping all he can,
The wife spends every year
Enough you would think for a score of wives,
To keep them in luxury ali their lives
The town is perfect Babylon
To quiet chap, says Farmer John.
\ GU see, old Bay,
You see, old Gray. f
I'm wiser than when | went away.
I've found out this, " says Farmer John,
That happiness is not bought and sold.
And clutched in "A life of waste and hurry,
In nights efpleasure, and days OF worry,
And wealth ism all IN gold,
Mortgage and stocks and ten per cent,
But in simple ways and sweet content,
Few wants. pure hopes, and noble ends,
Some land to till, and few good friends,
Like you, old Bay,
And you, old Gray
That's what I've learned by going away.
And happy man is Farmer John,
o. rich and happy man is he:
He sees the peas and pumpkins growing,
The corn in tassol. the buck cheat blowing,
And fruit on vine and tree
The large. kind oxen look their thanks
As he rubs their toreheads and strokes their Hanks
The doves light round him, and strut and coo,
Says Farmer John, "I' Il take you too,
And you, old Bay,
And you, old Gray,
Next time | travel so far away u
The Van Buren press., 1875-05-11

- Ma said IN intelligent, thoughtful
boy. don't think Solomon WAS as rich
as they say he was why, my dear
what could have put that into your head !?
why, the Bible says he slept with his
fathers and think il he had been 30
very rich he would have had bed ofhis
own
rg- Shrouds have no pockets. The
grave is vault without combination
lock
IS" Who hath not known Ill fortune
never knew himself, or his own virtue.
The Van Buren press., 1875-05-11

1t is said thai Digger Indians arc
never known to smile. They are grave
Diggers.
What is it which has a mouth and
never speaks and bed and never sleeps
A river
- It's lovely doll. dear grandpa
and grandma, but--but--Fd been hop
ing it would be twins
rs- Why il newspaper like a tooth
brush? DO you give It upY Because
every one should have one of his own
and not De borrowing his neighbors'
jcs- A slattern always makes poor
cook. The woman who don't dress her
self, has never yet succeeped in dressing
beefsteak property.
The Van Buren press., 1875-05-11

then made me give it to her. and I've been
sorry ever since, and now want it,
Then you got 80 close to her that the
box rubbed againt her side, did your
The chief laughed, the young man
blushcd. few spectators smiled, and ut
terly ashamed Of himself the young fel-
low left the court room, and bad net an
other word 10 say Reading Eagle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04

she went out while he sat gazing
after her with q half conscious
smile on his withered face, but a
look Of perfect confidence in her
II was strange sight, that infancy
leading age, the birding guarding
the nest, and yet only strange be-
cause preternaturally exhibited
For the days come quickly when
childhood glides into stately age and
age into dependent childisbness,
and the space is so brief between
that we hardly note the change.
The boys don't trouble Miss
Simmons now, for the kind officer
has warned them not to annoy her,
and besides. her life has become
known through the officers story,
and instead of throwing torpedoes,
the bigger boys stand aside re-
specially to let her pass, and say
to each other in the midst of bois-
ferrous revelry, and with instant
effect: "Hush, boys Here comes
Miss Simmons"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04

dried. Care must be taken that
they do not suffer from gapes, bad
feathering, or any of the diseases
incident to chickenhood. Their
coops and feeding vessels should
be kept clean and sweet, and every
precaution taken to keep them
healthy and growing from the start.
Chicks are early awake and are
always hungry in the morning, and
restless and noisy until they are
fed and watered. Our own prac-
tice is to feed and water our chicks
the first thing in the morning, and,
after they are ten days old, we al
ways find them anxious to see us
any time after daylight. When
they are fed thus early the hen
will brood them and keep them
comfortable for an hour or two,
which is much better than to have
them yelling for their feed or for
liberty to forage. The hens should
not be allowed to run at large until
the chicks are a week or a month
old but the little ones may be al
lowed to run about in the vicinity
of the coop any time they wish.
These young broods should have
plenty of sour milk, thickened
with a mixture of corn and oats
ground together, and few hands
full of bran. This should be poured
into shallow tronghs within reach
of the chicks. AS soon as they are
large enough to manage them, they
should have a few grains of oats,
wheat or corn three times a day
Practical Farmer.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04
A Young Oak.

"Loafng around, eh 2" inquired
the court as John Brown was
brought out.
"I've tried for q job" growled
the prisoner.
81 know all about you, JOHN
I've seen those ears, that nose, that
yawning mouth, here at this bar
half dozen times during the past
year."
"I'm going to Chicago, SIR"
all bet five hundred dollars to a
cent that you won't. You are 60
ing to the house Of correction for
sixty days"
ats bad, sir, when a fellcr tries
harl to find work"
81 know it. The police have seen
you trying to work into barns and
shells. You've tried to work mon
ey out of strangers. You've work
ed up rows and riots on the Poto
mac, and now you've worked in
here again. I've thought your case
over and over in my mind, and ]
wonder that you haven't run across
some one who wanted to break your
neck. You don't know what graf
itude or self-respect or honor is
You'd rather own a fighting dog
than the best library in the conn
try, and rather get drunk than be
presented with an eighteen dollar
Bible. You'll have to go up"
"I1l try to be good, sir"
"Can't help it. l gave you fair
warning, and the creased plank
waits you."-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04
How hc Won Her.

A young couple were occupying
rustic seat in Union Park one
evening, and from the expression
of the masculine representative
face, it was evident that he was "a
goner"-drifted, as it were, over
the great psychological Niagara Of
affection, and was even then being
dizzily whirled about in the frothy
whirlpool Of sentiment. The swim
ming swans had no charms for him
the eagles were as nothing, and he
did not even notice the big white
bear.
ooh, do be mine," he said, at
tempting to draw her little nearer
his end of the seat.
She made herself rigid and heav-
ed a sigh.
an be good man and give up
all my bad habits" he urged.
No reply.
all never drink another Drop"
he continued.
Still unrelenting sat the object
of his alteration.
"And give up chewing-v
No response.
"And smoking" u~hs-
Cold as ever.
Sand join the church.
She only shook her head.
"And--and give you q diamond
engagement ring" he added in
desperation.
Then the maiden lifted her droop-
ing eyes to his, and leaning her
frizzes on his shoulder, tremblingly
.mpywpred into bis rayishcd ear :
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04
Ringing for the Water Boy.

A good story is tod of verdant
one who was passenger in rail.
road express train, and became
thirsty.
"Where's that ere hoy with the
water can 2" he queried of his next
neighbor.
"He has gone forward to the
baggage car, | suppose" was the
reply.
"Wall, dye s'pose I kin get him
back here agin ?"
Certainly" said the other, "you
have only to ring for him." and he
nodded toward the bell line that
ran above their heads.
No sooner said than done. Be-
fore any one could prevent it, Rus
tic had seized the line and given
it tremendous tug. The conse-
quences were at once obvious
three shrill Whistles were heard,
half dozen brakemen rcu to their
posts, and the train came to a
stand-still with a suddenness thai
startled half the passengers with
establishment, and caused every
man near a window to hoist it and
look out to see what was the mat
ter.
In few minutes the conductor,
red and and excited, came foaming
into the car to know who pulled
that bell-rope.
"Here, Mister; this way; Pm
the man." shouted the offender,
drawing all eyes upon him.
"You ?" said the conductor
"What did you do it for. ?"
"Cos l wanted some water"
"Wanted some waterp
"Sartin; wanted the water boy,
and my partner here in the seat
said I'd better ring for him, as we
do at the hotel, and so / yanked
the rope. Will he be along soon ?
An, by the way what in thunder
be you stoppin' for ."
The shout of laughter that greet
ed this honest confession was too
much for the conductor, and he
had to wait until he got his train
under way before he explained the
of the bell-rore to his
verdant customer.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04
Late BrOOds Of Chickens.

Owing to the backwardness OF
spring, many persons will doubt
less be disappointed in getting the
desired number of early chickens.
This is matter past remedy now
but much may be done to recover
lost ground, and swell the number
of fine large chicks to the usual
figure by Autumn.
We shall continue to set hens
all through this month, and hope,
by liberal feeding and COOL care,
to raise some fine stock, even though
they be late. We would not adj
wise any one to set egg OF the
Asiatic breeds after the middle OF
May I; but Of the quicker growthed
sorts, as Plymouth Rocks, Domin-
iques, Leghorns, Hamburghs, ETC.,
very good results may be obtained
by Matching as late as the middle
of Aug, or q week later than that.
These July and August broods
will require good feeding and hous-
ing, II we expect them to attain
full size and style before cold
weather sets in. They must be
kept out Of the grass aud weeds
when they are wet with dew or
rain; young chicks are much in
jured by being draggled. They
should not be let ont Of their coops
a IA moro;n<, .r<;l Az A. a.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04
Master And Nam.

General Mackenzie, when COM
mander-in-chief of the Chatham
division of Marines, was very rigid
in his duty, and among other regu-
lations, would suffer no officer to
he saluted by his guard if out Of
his uniforms. One day the Gene
raj observed a lieutenant Of Ma
rines in plain dress, and though
he knew the young officer intimate
", he called out to the sentinel o
turn him out. The officer appeal
ed to the General, saying who he
was.
81 know you not" said the Cen
eral. "Turn him out"
A short time afterwards the Gen
eral had been a short distance from
Chatham to pay o visit, and return
ing in the evening, in a blue coat
he claimed entrance at the garden
gate. The sentinel demanded the
countersign. which the general did
not know, so he desired the officer
of the guard to be sent for, who
proved to be the lieutenant whom
the General had treated so cavali-
erly.
"Who are you r. inquired the
officer.
81 am General Mackenzie" was
the reply.
"What without a uniform y re-
joined the lieut. nant. Turn him
out turn him out. The Gene raj
would break your bones if he
knew you assumed his name
The General beat a retreat but
the next day, having invited the
young officer to breakfast, he told
him he bad done his duty with very
exac'nes'."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04
Something Like.

Close upon the shore OF Lake
Winnepiseogee is town; and in
that town dwells a man whom we
will call Amber. Mr.. Amber keeps
a store and as he is a genial, ac-
commoding man, he keeps for sale
everything which the good people
of the country can reasonably eX-
pect him to keep. Particularly
has it been the practice of Mr..
Amber to keep a barrel of whisky
on tap in his cellar. One in the
fall and one in the spring will gen.
orally carry him through. BE is
very careful to whom he sells, and
so far as is known, the authorities
have never given him any trouble.
One day Mr.. Eliphalet Spooner
entered the store with a slight pro-
tuberance visible upon the left
breast. Mr.. Spooner was deacon,
and a most proper person. He
called the merchant aside, and ask
ed him if he had any good whisky.
Amber nodded in the affirmative.
"Will you let me have a pint p
and the deacon pulled from his
breast pocket pint bottle.
Certainly" said the trader; and
forthwith he departed for the GEL
lar. When he returned he brought
the full bottle, carefully wiped and
corked.
whats to payp
"Fifty cents"
Mr.. Spooner handed him over
50-cent scrip, and then, in hesita-
ting way, drew the cork. He plac-
ed the bottle to his lips, and tasted,
just a drop, to test the quality of
the liquor. He did this twice, and
the expression on his face was one
of hesitation and doubt.
"Mr. Amber" he said, "I'm get
ting this for my wife. Is this the
very best you have ?"
"Oh you want it for medicine "
eyes, certainly"
eff that is the case" The SEN
tence was finished with a smile,
and reaching forth for the bottle.
Down into the cellar went the
storekeeper again. There was no
need that he should empty the
bottle and refill it, for he had but
one solitary barrel from which to
draw so he took n turn around
and soon came back wiping the bot
tie afresh.
81 shall have to charge you 81
cents for this, Mr.. Spooner.
Having paid the extra charge
with the uttermost cheerfulness,
Mr.. Spooner placed the bottle again
to his lips, apd tasted critically.
"Aha 2" he uttered, with a bright
smile and grateful nod ; "this is
something like 2"
And he went away entirely sat
SIZED. And Mr.. Amber, also, not
the fraud lie had per-
oetrated, appeared to be satisfied. |
{ one might judge by the quiet
mile that illuminated his rubicund |
usage.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04

ooh, Edward, you are so good y
And there they sat and sat until
the soft arms of night-that dusky
nurse of the world-had folded
them from sight, bordering, plan
ming, thinking-she of the diamond
ring, and he of how on earth he
was to get IL.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1875-08-04

steamerD the finest grade and
work to be had in The market
of And all the latest
have everything on hand TO make
upan dcompe n Gents Wardrobe Fl.
Call and for yourself
KNIGHT.
Packs BockSec 90
The New York herald., 1875-09-16
VIOLATION OF THE EXCISE LAW

ADJOURNMENT OF THE TRIAL OF MEssRs. KOS
TER AND BEAL
The trial of Roster and Bea propretors of the liquor
saloon in the basement of the Tribune building, was
yesterday before the Board of Excise Commits
sioners exJudge Curtis and Major Haggerty appearing
for the respondents Counsellor Slceson represent
ing the temperance societies.
Mr. Curtis objected the Board swearing witnesses
on ground that had power to punish for per-
jury
On behalf of the Board, Commissioner stiner called
the of the counsel to section chapter IT'S
of the Laws of 1870 giving the Board of Excise such
power The following is the passage relating to the
samc:-
Upon an inquiry said Board the party complained
may summon, the said Board may compel the
tendance of before them them under
oath.
The objection was overruled, the respondents ex-
cepting
William Haddcn sworn:-Know the premises called
the Staat Keller, in the basement of the Tribune Build
ing; Sunday, August 15 between the hours of
eleven and twelve O'Clock A. M. entered the place in
company with three gentlemen we called for drinks;
there three barkeepers behind the bar dispensing
liquors to customers; one man drink gin; drank
glass of imported beer; after we left the saloon We
proceeded the Oak station house and asked the
sergeant the desk arrest the propretors of the
place Tor violation OF the Excise law in selling liquor
Sunday; he refused, saying he had no power
On cross examination the witness testitled-Resde
at No. 80 Greene avenue, Brooklyn am the publisher
of temperance newspaper; have been temperance
man for fifteen years.
Oliver Cotter took the stand and deposed know
the premises in the basement OF the Tribune Building
where liquor is sold; on the morning of Sunday,
August Is last, entered the place in company with
Messrs. Hadden, Woodward and Clayton went in
by the front door; three bartenders were giving out
liquors from behind the bar; several drink.
ing called for glass OF lager beer told they had
nothing imported beer ordered three glasses of i'm
ported beer and glass of gin; obtained the and
paid therefor the sum of ioryive cents; IN the
wholesale and retail liquor business years. lett 1t
because of conviction of Its wrong have been out of
the business sixteen months now General Agent of
temperance society in Brooklyn; my duty is to see
that the Excise law not violated in district in that
city, the objects OF the temperance association TO
keep dealers from selling liquor to minors and drunk
ards and proper observance of the Sabbath
their part.
The prosecution here rested its
The counsel for the respondents moved that the test
mony of both witnesses be stricken Motion denied
and exceptions taken A motion to dismiss the com
plant the grounds that neither Of the respondents
in the saloon at the time and consequently not la-
BILE for the acts of their employees the barkeepers met
with similar fate.
The Board then adjourned the until the 22d inst
to take under advisement the legal points involved
The New York herald., 1875-09-16
THE POLICE AND EXCISE BOARDS.

COMMISSIONER vooRHIs IN ARMS AGAINST IN
FR1NGEMENTs on POLICE PRERoGATIvEs.
Among the cases tried before Commissioner Matse,
holding court at Police Headquarters yesterday, Of
which there we're an unusually large number was one
in which the Board Of Excise practically trial.
although the nominal defendant was Sergeant Jere-
miah r. Brooks, of the Thirty first precinct.
The charges on which the sergeant was arraigned
were preferred by Inspector Speght at the instigaon
of Commissioner voorhs and set forth that the said
Brooks unlawfully released from custody at the
quest OF Commissioner Stner prisoner arrested by
inspector of excise appears from the evidence that
on the I'd Excise Inspector Urban IN the perform
ance OF hs duty caused TO be arrested among others
for violation of the Excise law one Mary Crowley,
the alleged proprieress Of beer saloon or booth,
in the Thirty hrst precinct The prisoners taken
TO the Tooth street station house. where complaints
made against ALL Mrs. Crowley, by Inspector
Urban The of the latter perfectly clear
to the mind OF the inspector, and in his dilemma he
sought the advice of his superior Commissioner Sner,
who was directing the raid The latter after thor
ough Investigation became satisfied that Mrs Crowley
was aDenable TO complaint and the inspector at
informed Sergeant Brooks, who was at the desk,
that no would make complaint against
the prisoner. The sergeant thereupon released Mrs.
Crowley from custody and duly entered ON the botter
the fact of such release coupled with the explanation
that made the request Of Commissioner Sner
At this Police Commissioner Noorhs waxed wroth feel
ing that the prerogatves of the department he repre-
sented had been encroached upon by the Board OF Ex
cise and ut determined to subject the aol esad
sergeant discipline, and acted during the exami-
nation of the witnesses as prosecutor
The defendant keeny felt the position In which he
placed being very old officer in the department
and having been lined day throughout his entire
term OF service
His defence was, there being no complainant he could
not hold the prisoner. The entry in the botter that
the prisoner discharged at the request OF Comnis
sioner Stiner was an inadvertence.
The case was referred to the Board for decision.
The New York herald., 1875-09-16
SILENCE OR BLOOD!
EX-GOVERNOR WELLS, OF LOUISIANA, ON THE


EX-GOVERNOR WELLS, OF LOUISIANA, ON THE
From the Alexandria Qa) Democrat, Z. r. Boissat
editor, Sept ST.
On the evening of the Both Of August 1875 after due
notification, handed the following letter and
made to sign duplicate receipts therefor We give pub.
cston to it in order that the people of the parish OF
Rapidcs who have vital interests in the matter
may sec for themselves the these matters are about
to assume parish. We presume are acting
right in thus giving the largest publicity to u matter
which specially those in whose have
humby and earnestly devoted our best abilities and
honest convictions to Champion and endeavOrcd To lead
to good results For the present we shall forbear fur
hcr comment, assuring our people that we shall be pa
ent and watchfu under the threat but with the
pledge that the Democrat shall continue IN the even
tenor of its ways and strive maintain its position
the bitter end:--
ORIGINAL
New ORLEANS, La, August ~, 1876.
Mr.. f. H. BossAT Editor of the Louisiana Democrdt:-
SiR-YOu have used the columns Of your newspaper,
the Louisiana Democrat during and since the rebellion,
to calumnatc and Witty me.
You have continued your course Of vilincation up to
We publication OF your last paper, on the 18TH INST
presume you are prepared for the issue II must
necessarily bring about and end if continued. That
neither OF us shall be mistaken as to the of the
conflict ana It's certain termination take this method,
As a notification TO you, That should bc used
In connection with any improper remarks through the
columns oi your newspaper, the Louisiana Democrat,
the sequel be the taking of my lie by YOU which,
with positive proof, you have medtated for years
send this, registered letter. that may reach you,
and know you have received it. have retained cert-
fed copies
The alternative is with you. | want no advantage.
Respectfully, J. MADISON WELLS.
The New York herald., 1875-09-16

when arrested said 81 knew ! should have TO go up
time but thought could run another season.
When told TO mount the ladder which served for the
time being as a scafold he made use of the following
language :-"Gentemen, am not used to this business,
never having been hung before. Shall jump of or
slide ongn Being directed what TO do he said, ''Al
right; good by, and leaped into eternity. From the
confessions OF the elons IL is conclusvely shown that
the vglanes acted with such discrimination that not
an innocent suffered az their hnnds.
The New York herald., 1875-09-16
UNAUTHORIZED LIQUOR TAsTERs.

To THE EDITOR OF HERALD:-
In your issue of September notice article
having reference to acts of some persons who visited
various saloons Third avenue and other portions of
the city, tasting liquors and procuring evidence against
the saloon keepers, and you say it done by MEM
bers of the American Temperance Union. Such is not
the fact, the persons mentioned were not members
of the American Temperance Union, they act
ing with the consent or by authority of said unIOn
the American Temperance Union does not approve of
that plan of action. The American Temperance Union
will every means in its power to further the
of temperance enforce the laws &c, but will do II in
dignded way that trust, will produce better results
than the plan used by the persons aforementioned
j. B. GIBBS,
President American Temperance Union.
NIru Snnl