Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1875-03-02
gFlrlt Of geffrrson,
GharlestOWn, Jefferson County. ReAt Va.
TUESDAY HORNING. MARCH .. 1915.
NEWSPAPER SUBSCRIBERS.

following classification of newspaper subscri.
bers, which is somewhat vaguely credited to
can American paper -.
First come the
Upriytts.-These are men who take news
papers, pay for them, and read them. OBJ
serve the order in which these things are
done: The pay comes frst-the reading next
These men consider they get the worth of
their money in the bargain. It seems as fair
and just to them thst the newspapers should
be paid for as barrel of sugar or new coat.
They never entertain any other opinion
When the year runs out, or little before,
they are on hand with the pay. There is no
more difficulty with them in remembering
this period, than Sunday or the first of Jam
uary. 1f"ne of them wishes to stop his paper,
he either calls or writes letter by his post
master. in due season, like a man. This class
is dear to the heart of the editor Their
image is embalmed in his warm Affections
May they live thousand years and see their
sous soEs to the fourth generation.
The second class now in mind is the
Do WekLs.-This class is nearly related to
the other-so near, that it is hard to tell where
one begins and the other ends. These men
always pay in advance in the beginning, and
intend to do SO continually. But memory
fails little, or some mishap intervenes, and
the time runs by-sometimes li,tle-some>
times for quite period. But their recollec>
ton, though nOdding occasionally, never gets
sound asleep 1t prOuOunces the word in due
time-''The printer is not paid - and forth
with their will to do we'll kindles into activity.
Now comes the paying up-"Mennt to do SO
before. Don't mean to leave such things pass
by" publisher can live with such men
They have warm place in his memory-onIy
little back of the Uprights If such man
dies in arrears, his wife or son remembers that
he may not have paid up for his newspaper,
and forthwith institutes inquiries They re-
member that part of the benifit was theirs,
and, estate or no estate, see that the printers
bills are not among their fathers unsettled
accounts.
Next como the
Easy Docrs.-These men believe in news,
papers They have fully settled it in their
own minds that newspaper is a good thing
They take them, too Sometimes at the first
they pay up for the first year-at any rate
they mean to. pretty soon. If they have done
so, they sit down with the comforting couvic-
ton that their newspaper is now settled for
and this idea having once got into their heads,
refuses obztiDa:ely to be 3isIcdged, but keeps
its hold from year to year; truth once-now
The editor. making the elongated space in the
accounts current of their dollars, begins to
ask if they arc dead or have gone to California
Now he begins to poke bills at them. They
suddenly start up to the reality that they are
IN arrears and, like men, as they are a: tie
bottom, pay up. They never dispute his
bills-they know books tell better stories than
moss>c0vered memories. Ifthe publisher has
faith enough, or long purse, and can live
like alternating bear, he may survive this
class. But if he is mortal only, woe be to
him.
The next class is that of the
Dorm HHlers.-Here we begin to slide
ever to the other side. The picture suddenly
gets sombrc. We shall dispatch the Down
Killers suddenly. One of these may take
paper because his wife wants one, or the chil>
dren are zealons to read it. or neighbor
rersuades him. When it begins to come, he
dismi5ses all thoughts about it further. IF
the editor sends man directly to him at the
end of two or three years, he may get some
pay for his paper, but with growIs and surly
looks. lie never pays any debt if he can get
rid of it. and newspaper least of ALL Still,
he hates lawsuits. and constables and all that
y dun has the same effect on him that bullet
has on hiPpopotamus-glancing off his hide.
or sinking into the blnLher harmless. He is
always sliding down hill, and soon merges
into another class. that of
The Mr. Cnn, Rouse.-No matter how
this man began his subscription, he never
pays for it-not he. lie don't like that sort
of paper. 1t don't give no news. He mover
did Ike it. lie didn't want it in the first
place, and told the postmaster so. He sent
back one more than year ago-besides, he
never began to take it till long time after
it came, and he hadn't had only two or three
of them. at any rate. and those he hadn't
read" Wipe him off.
Here comes the
tSc0pegroce-It is enough to say of him
that he never fails to have a newspaper-two
or three ofthem. When he thinks they have
come about long enough for the publisher to
want pay, he sends back with "stop it" Or
he takes up his quarters, and leaves for parts
unknown. He does not want to pay, and he
don't mean to. Get it if you can.
Reader, in which of the above classes are
you found?
T.-President Grant is a fre-
quept visitor to the Washington theatres II
letter of the 5lst says:
cat the National Theatre few nights
since he occupied his accustomed front seat in
the private box, where he can be easily seen
By the entire audience. During the course of
the play there was considerable gaggiug in
dulsed in By the actors. Including aIiusions to
the third term; military interference, etc,
which seemed to delight the audience very
much. Finally one of them brought in the
name of Grant, when another quickly replied.
"Andy-Johuson will soon be in the Senate.
and will take care of him" At this the ap.
plause was perfectly uproariOus. the men
cheered and the women waved their bandker>
chiefs, and it was minute before order was
restored. In the midst of all the commotioD.
the President retained his attitude uumoved,