Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1875-11-12
MULTUM IN PARYO.

| SPANISH women are said to be great
s'noras.
Why is life like conundrumg Be
cause many give it up.
BY circus clown: "The melancholy
days have come-the saw-dust of the
year"
A SYDNEY telegram says that a large
navigable river has been discovered in
| New Guinea. - fsa s
FAST mail trains are success. But
the female train is so slow that you are
| likely to step on it.
RHEUMATISM prevails in New York to
an alarming extent Bleeding and opium
are the main remedies.
If there is any one thing for which the
human race is pre-e eminent it is for pro-
found and solid lying.-Dr. Larimer
IT is nonsense to speak of trihes light
| as air.n The pressure of air is fourteen
pounds to every square inch of surface.
"WoRTH makes the man." No doubt, but
on this earth
1t all depends upon how much he's worth.
~ Y. Graphic.
"WHAT is that dog barking at" asked
a fop, whose boots were more polished
than his ideas. " Why" said bystander,
6 he sees another puppy in your boots."
THE logical result of the protoplastic
theory is to extend the descent of man
back to plants; which, possibly, explains
their present love for the weed.-CSncsn-
1adt6 Times
POLITICAL canvassr' exclaimed Mar
tina Jane, fiinging away the paper. "And
why do they call it canvass, I'd like to
know9" Probably" replied Phipps,
+" because there's so much sail in it."
| THE Broadway New York; stores offer
silks lat song," and an innocent editor
| of that city can now see no excuse for
ladies of good voices going without plenty
of good dresses.
THE Mississippi newspapers complain
that the chills and fever are awful there
this year; and in some localities the gath
ering of the crops has been greatly re-
tarded by the sickness.
AN old bachelor, who died recently,
left will dividinga all his property equally
among the surviving women who had re-
fused him, because" said he, " TO them
I owe all my earthly happiness"
A DISH WASHING machine is the latest
invention They will continue to invent
washers, wringers, ironers, sewers and one
thing and another till women will not be
worth fifteen cents a dOZen.-IatTdt Neao
Yorker
AN Arkansas man ate pint of sawdust
few days ago on bet. An intelligent
| physician who was called in told him that
he would have pain in his lumbar region
| if he stuck to such board as that-NeD
| Orleans Times.
CUSTOM in Massachusetts has long per-
mitted the discoverer of a bee tree to cut
| it down and take the honey, and Berk-
shire County is astonished because land
owner has sued man TO recover the value
of honey taken off his property.
GRAND CROSSING, in Cook County, ILL.,,
is one of the most busy railroad crossings
in the country Two hundred and five
daily trains pass there, to say nothing of
occasional rovers. Those railroad gates
do not get time to rust on their hinges.
A CURIOUS basket-picnic and ball was
held recently in Leavenworth Mountain,
| Col 1t was held in subterranean cham
| Der, and the cards of invitation stated that
dancing would be continued until ten
boxes of wax candles had been consumed.
ALL persons who keep oxalic acid in
the house for domestic purposes may
take warning from the fate of Matthew
Walpole, of Groton, Ky, whose wife adj
mlnistered to him that poison ms tead of
Epson salts. He died almost immedi-
ately.
A HEN never has regular meal-she
always gets picked-up dinner.-COm-
meycSoL Bulletin And she has to scratch
around considerably to get it, too. But
then it doesn't cost anything. She has it
all put down in the bill.-Boston AdUer-
tdSer.
THE Supreme Court of Iowa has decid-
ed thatthe practice of the loser paying for
the game in billiards is gambling, while
the Supreme Court Of Indiana says it is
not. When Supreme Courts disagree
where's the umpire to decide ?-Chicago
EvenSpag Journal.
LEMME die now" said old smith,
who lives up on the Yazoo. "I've lived
| to see the time when it takes thirty-five
yards of calker to make the old woman a
dress. I'll go home and deed the planta-
ton to the boys and get ready to pass in
my chips. "-Neao Orleans Z Snaes.
81 DIDN'T steal no pound ofterbacker,"
said prisoner in Springfield, Mass, just
as he was leaving court, no proof having
been produced against him; 81 didn't
take more'n handful" "Come back"
said the Justice, and be fined ten dol
lars The Court convicts you on your own
confession" ..
| TT is related that the first money King
| Victor Emmanuel ever earned by the work
| of his own hands was for shooting a fox
| that nightly visited farmers poultry
ward. The farmer saw the King shoot
hare, and, not knowing who he was, of
fered him motta worth eight cents) to
kill the fox The King visited the mount
ain homestead at three o'clock in the
morning, shot the fox, and received the
| mUtta.
| A BALTIMORE swindler went to a near
sighted merchant in the guise Of tele-
graph messenger and got him to sign his
name in two places in what purported to
| be receipt book. Really the fellow had
| got him to sign his name on blank leaf
! in such a way that note could be writ
| ten with genuine signature and lndorse-
ment. The profit to the sWIndler was
| 5000. and the merchant and the bank that
paid the money are quarreling about winch
shall lose.
/ SHADED YARNS are now produced In
some establishments by peculiar and in
| oenious process. 1t is founG' tn at instead
of tine usual practice Of letting down the
warn from time to time deeper into the
| dye-bath, by lowering the rods on which it
| is hung upon movable pins in holes in
vertical supports in order that successive
portions may be more deeply shaded, 1t is
much simpler, as well as much more eco
nomical, TO dye first the whole skeln In the
bath in the usual manner to the hgntest
shade desired. The plan pursued, there
fore. is to allow it to hang, and draw OF
the bath by a stop-cock, or dip it out un-
til IFS level is where the next deeper shade
on the yarn is desired, then to lift the
warn, strengthen the bath and hang it
| in again; and thus to continue as needed