The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1875-04-28

d
stone agent.
The stamp of fcivilization-the postal
stamp.
The latest thing in front door locks
-night-keys.
A Boston hotel bed is the thinnest,
hardest bed in the world
Democratic voters will now emerge
from the bed of POgue's run.-Ind.
Jour.
1t is woman's duty to be four
weeks cleaning house, no matter If
she could do it in three days.
A Port Jarvis man offered his
house for 50, but no one would buy it.
1t was floating down the river on the
ice.
A Troy Coroner can run a mile in
five and half minutes. even when the
inducement is only ix-shilling fee.
The Wisconsin farmer who left
candle burning in the barn so as to
scare thieves away has no barn to
watch now.
Silver is so plenty in Arozona that
when a man gets paid off for a three
months job he has to hire a wagon to
take him home
In the Brooklyn paragraph, pub
lished yesterday, for moral young
woman, read rural young woman"
Courier Journal.
The Worcester Press ventures to
hint, from Arsene Houssaye's batter
ing allusions to his relatives, that he
must be ''watheI an ass"
An Eastern college professor tried
to make his wife live on diet of veg
etables, but she played roots on him
and went home to her mother.
1t is now announced that Mr.. Ev-
arts fee is to be $4,000. Let us see;
that will be about six shillings day
at present prospects.-St. Louis Globe.
If some fatal epidemic had carried
off every candidate for Office in this
city, SOdom and Gomorrah wouldn't
be deuce high.--Marquette Journal
The average masculine stomach IN
this country Graves liquor, and society
must be revolutiorized before a bet
ter state OF things exists Kate Field.
Boston weuld like 10 know, Are
women persons? It's of u5> conse-
quence, however; if they not they
are very excellent substit, tes-Ro-
chester Democrat
Mr. Carruth. tac editor oethe Vine-
land independents, in whose head the
ball still remains, is going TO change
the name of his paper to the Bulletin.
It has been discovered that shaky
firms usually belong to the Millerite
persuasion. because they all keep the
da:- of their going up a profound Sc
cret.
A Vermont church congregation al
lowed their church to be sold on a
mortgage. but then the preacher had
run away, and the deacons were off
hunting coons.
It is said that nothing will cure
poets affection for his idol sooner
than to catch her at the dinner table
excavating the kernel Of hickory
nut with a hairpin.
Tom Allen, the prize fighter. is
If he never would be quiet until some
woman has knocked him down with a
broomstick.
A Minnesota Sheriff carried a bull
let in his head ten years, and when
they removed it the other day he be-
came foolish. They are looking for
some one to shoot him again.
George Williams Curtis intimates
that he manages Harper's Weekly.
and not Thomas Mast. The latter
will GET him into cartoon presently,
however, and he'll wish he'd never
been born.-Rochester Democrat.
It is feared that Spinner's resigna-
ticn will cause 4 panic in the rural
districts where the impression pre-
walls that his signature symbolizes
the American eagle struggling with
the serpent of rebellion.
The Prince of Wales, it is announce
ed, will make a visit to India during
the cold season; but another an
nouncement is that he will go to the
Artic Circle. which is higher circle
even than he has ever yet moved in.
When they want to find out in the
country if girl is courting or not, an
old lady steps in and remarks: Il
say, there amt no one sick in this
here house or nothin', is there?
seen a light burnin' nigh on to IL
clock last night; but 1 don't smell
no campfire nor nothin' around"
The meanest man in this city lives
on jackson street. He cuts the ac-
counts of the Beecher scandal out of
the paper, every morning, and hides
them in the Bible, to keep his wife
and mother law from reading them.
He says: ''They never look in that
book" and he tells them "the dog
chaws the paper full of holes.'
Two good-natured Irishmen, on a
certain occasion, occupied the same
bed In the morning one of them in
quired of the other: Dennis, did
you hear tundher. last night?" ''No,
Pat, did it really tundher?" "Yes;
it tundhered as if hivin and earth
would come togither." why then.
didn't ye wake me, for We know 1 can't
slape when it tundhers" -
Father Taylor once prayed for all
the musicians and opera singers, and
for the beautiful young
woman (Jenpy Lind) who had just
landed on our shores to gladden.
American ears with her songs. AS
he closed, long, lank fellow rose
from the pulpit steps and asked
whether the preacher supposed per-
son who died in an opera house could
go to heaven. Father T. REPLIED:
TAll good people will 60 to heaven,
but fool will not, even though he
dies on the steps of a pulpit