Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-01-01
Through Tribulation.

Dec. Is, 1874.
MISTER EDlroE:-It vas with
mingled feelings of pity and exqui-
site happiness that l read Uncle
Joc's lament over that kind of gone
ness he felt in his 'stummuck," after
letting the Conservative lead him
along by the nose for the last two
years. Pity he hadn't got the back
bone to stand up to his old princi-
pies like a man, and exquisite happi-
ness to know by his own words, like
Uncle Benijah's purps, he has got his
eyes open. | tell you what, Mister
Editor, when man gets as old AZ
Uncle Joe is, to throw away his Obi
BILE, prayer-book and catechism," and
take the Conservative in their place,
he must be about as low as any of
the human family ever gets. Still,
Mister Editor, we must make great
allowance for the poor old mans
mental capacity, (and one would
think from his remarks about ''polit-
cal Bible. prayer-book, &c." it was
never one Of the strongest), and
trust he has been led astray from his
old Democratic doctrines by ''wolf
in sleeps clothing" and that he will
arise in his might, like unto Sampson
and slew the ass with jaw bone,
that he will cleanse his outer gar
ments, and scrape the backing off
his tongue, that he got on while lick
ing the shoes of the Conservative.
That he may yet stand with his arms
outstretched and his eagle eyes snap
ping fire, and say to the Conserya-
the: sect We behind me, Satan;
Thou wouldst not only destroy the
man, but the soul, also; that in your
amorous passions you begot the bas-
tard Autobiography child, and now
you would like to marry your bant-
ling to the dead Gas you have claim
cd) carcass of the Democratic party.
For shame on such as you, to tie your
ill-begotten child, one you have nurs-
ed with tender (pretended) care, to a
carcass you have claimed was dead
and rotten, long ago! For shame,
again, l say!-I will have no more
to do with such as you. will once
more take my 'Biblc, prayer-book,
and catechism" in hand and fly from
your death (politicaD dealing pres
ence to the fold of my old Democrat
ic home, where / can vote for An
drew Jackson as long as I live, and
on that last day when | fail to 60 to
the polls and am gathered to my
fathers, and when | arrive at the gate
and there meet Andrew, surnamed
Jackson, l can say, with emphasis,
ANDREW, l never missed voting for
you but twice in my life, and if your
ledger is not full of their accounts
you may please charge those delin-
qucncics to the Conservative, for
that sheet got me so dumtoozled that
| did not know what ! was about,
and to this day it seems more like a
dream than n reality" Such will
be the excuse poor Uncle Joe will
have when he meets his Andrew, but
the poor old soul is not the only one
(how | wish he was) that has been
caught in the Autobiography trap,
but, thank the Lord, the spring in
the jaws is so weak they can hold
nothing but the poorest and most in
significant game, and have been
sprung so many times of late that
they can hardly hold even that kind
of game at the present time. AS
they know the above is the only kind
Of game they can catch they will try
to repair up the old trap and catch
all they can. They are like the Mis-
sissippi steamboat captain when ask
by passenger where he expected to
land, wanted to know "what IN h-ll
it was to him." was answered that he
did not know as. it made any partlcu-
lar difference, only he would like to
know what point they were trying to
make, and now, Mr.. Editor, good
many would like to know where the
Conservative was trying to land and
what point they are trying to make
in '76. YANKEE JIM.