The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1875-10-06

DdSCOm COm W u6 duu DeSRcO tu6t
we shood let him hev suthin that he
Good yoose to restock his bar. He
said the deelers in Louisville laffed in
his face when he offered EN- our
money for likker, and he had but two
barls left.
An them two barls wuz vizably
shrinkin every mint. 1t seemed ez
though the populis got insane for lik-
ker at the very time that we didn't
want EN- to hev it. For the first time
in my life wanted the Corners to be
temprit, for every drop drawd from
the barls brought our bank that much
neerer its end. l sot opposite Bas-
CONS and saw the crowd go in with a
sinkin sensashen that wuz akin to
death. Drink by drink it went, and
ez eff they coodent eggshaust it fast
enuff by the single drink they got to
comm for it in tin dippers.
"How does it hold out?" was the
message [ sent him at 10 a. m.
The answer came promt:
1905 q. m.-Wun barrel untutched
20 gallons in the other, and sinkin
every mint. B.
Then [ sent this:
10:20.-Fill her up with water.
Keep Jefferson Davis a pourin in.
Hold the fort. N.
And the answer came
in water ez fast ez he kin carry it.
rels, to which she adds kyan pepper
and camfene. Eff l he'd some Scotch
snuff it wood help. Will hold out ez
long cz possible. But it's terrible.
A man jist come in and demands a
gallon. B.
Twenty minits thereafter Bascom
sent this:
Have jist put spigot in last bari,
and the Corners is a howlin 1t
won't last an hour. b.
Then an expedient sejested itself to
me. [ sent this note:
''Time is everything. Bust the
spigot and delay drawin'."
Wich he did. thus keeping the
wolves at bay for an hour while it wuz
bein repaired.
But why harrow the public buzunl
with the details Nv this painful story?
The end wuz inevitable. Drop by
drop. drink by drink, pint by pint,
that likker wuz ebbin eway, and each
drop weakened the bank. That lik-
ker wuz our life blood, and ez it flow
ed we wilted. Waterin the barl wuz
merely palliative-and it wuz with a
feelin NV releef that [ saw George W.
throw up his hands and exclaim:
Its all gone but gallon, wich !!
shell keep for my own yoose. Its all
1 hnr drnn
Louisville -
And he dropt his head despondenly
on pile NV over $4,000 Nv our cur
rency, wich he hadn't taken off the
bar, and wept despondingly.
why cant you git more I" de-
manded the excited populis.
.:Becoz | aint got no money but
this, and yoo coodent git barl NV
whisky in louisville for carload Nv
it.
1 attempted to reason with the peo-
pie. / told EN- that one reason Nv
our wealth wuz that we he'd it in a
currency that we coodent spend away
from home, thus keepin our capital
among ourselves, but they retoosed to
listen to me- They id my bank
they id me. They went for the
bank, determined cf there wuz any
thing there that Good be turned into
likker Bascom shood hev it. 1t is
unnecessary to remark that they
didn't find anything. Antissipatin an
onpleasantnis, we have removed the
valyoobles to place NV safety, wich
wuZ the under side Nv my bed at
Deekin Pogram's.
Then they demanded that the
money they held be redeemed into
somethin they Good yoose, but Nv
course we declined to discuss the
matter, referrin them to the terms Nv
the ishoo ez expressed on the note. ez
we'll ez their own Endorsement Nv the
skeem.
But this didn't satisfy EN-. They
deliberately brought out S675.0OO Nv
the ishoos Nv the various banks, and
pilin it up on the street, set fire to 1t,
danein demoniac dance around 1T.
This amoozed ME, for NV course /
he'd no earthly objeckshun to their
redeemin NV it in that way, but when
[ seed EN- riggin ropes to the trees IN
the visinity. l remarkt to my fellow
offisers: Gentlemen, yoor president
hez pressin biznis in yonder torestl
and | got out eZ rapidly ez my poor
wasted Inns wood permit. fiatter
myself that I made tollerablc time for
man wv my age, whose strength Is
mostly in his stumick. Indeed, when
| turned and saw ten or dozen NV
the foremost men Nv the Corners close
behind me, and all shoutin, Hang
the id theef!" uogentle gazelle that
/ hanr1 81 y11eopd the
plain ez did. l did not cease run
min till | got into the middle NV the
big swamp, in a place that | knowd
wuz sekoor from EN-.
Wat bekom NY the other direckters
l don't know. The last fond look
that ] turned toards the bank | saw
Issaker Gavett and Dekin Pogram
strugglin in the hands NV the mob
wich was playfully forcin EN- to si1
down on a burnin pile Nv their own
currency.
| am ia a deserted swamp wich wu7
yoosed by runaway niggers In the old
times, and am fed by Niger farmer
who hez not heerd Nv the collapse
and consek emily takes his pay in the
Unlimited.
Eff the nooze ever gets to him Nv
the reel condishun Nv things, and he
shets off supplies, or reveels my where
abouts, [ am lost man.
Wat changes there iz in lie! A
week ago successful fnanseer, aIo
the pet Nv the populis--the savior u,
tie Corners! Te-day hunted fugi.
tive livin ON corn hoe cakes furnished
by niggerl One needs to be filoso
fer. PETROLEUM V. NASBY,
Late President Nv the Unlimited Trus,
and Confidence Company.
n. B.-I have heerd from the Cor.
ners. The ungrateful people after