Knoxville Whig and chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1875-1882, 1875-09-15

Ell life ever wuz rose-tinted dream to
me at any time doorin my mortle pilgrim
age, this Is the precise time. ] am thoroiy
happy-so happy, indeed that the priva-
shens and troubles that hev bin thro are
iaden out NV my memory entirely | hev
paid Bascom's account witch hez bin run
min for so many years, and hev his reject
IN my saie-WV Safe | say. Proudly | |
waite these words My safel Who-thirty
days ago wood hey supposed, that | should |
ever say my safe Then | hev two scots NV |
cloze-good oncs-which is one and q half |
more than | hey he'd spnCe / was Postmas- /
ter under Johnson-Heven rest his sole--I |
hey two shirts for the first time in my life, |
and am wCarin stockins! / hev but one |
pare cz yet, but one cant r-e TO the summit |
NV hooman grandjer at one bound. | shell |
buy another pare in week or two. think |
every Bank President ought TO either hev |
two pare of stockins or return To- the stern |
vlrchoos NV the republic in its better days !
and go barefoot. Coin barefoot or heven |
change. Is necessary to the keepen NV Il |
Bank Presidents office in N sweet-smelling |
condition.
But this is a digreshen. Suffice it to say.
am clothed. pade three dollars and
half for them stockins-they is cotton
which is three dollars and quarter more
than they wuz worth in the old money,
but wat difference does it make? That three
dollars and halfw made by four pulls
on Simpsons printin' press, and when mon
ey Kin be made in that way wat difference
does II make wat pay for cotton sox
AT the beginin we ishood 10, %, and 80
cent currency, but we hev quit that Prices
heV gone up sounder the general prosperity
that there amt anything in the Corners that
sells for less than dollar for one, and the
frakshunel currecy was decided to be
yooseles. Besides, it costs jest ez much TO
print ten.cen note ez it does dollar, and
we bleeve in economzin.
Simpson, the printer is maxim us q little
trouble. At the bpgnin l yoosed to pay
him for printin our bills by just signin enuf
Nv EN- ez they come from the press to make
his amount, but lately he heZ refoozed to
take our money, and insists on green baX.
We tried to overawe him, but when he
threatened to publish the tinanshcl con
dishun Nv the President and Directors, it
wuz considered advisable to humor him.
1t is singler that SIGH men throw impedi-
ments IN the way NV progress.
The obstacles in the way NV the Bank
that hev thus fa- developed Themselves, hev
bin happily and easily removed. Bascom
demanded wheat NV us to ship to louisville
to git more whisky, and we he'd to let him
hev it, and take pay in our own money.
And ez he demanded that we take our own
money jest the same ez greenbaX, that ben
y
loss. The account stands ez follows;
100 bushe uywheatc cost u in our own ..-.
money, 1T 81 5u per bushe..............si,5 500 90
Sold II to BgS'Om at LOUISVILLE greenhack
rices, witch is u per bushel, takD pay in
the same money we hei paid for it......l,D'0 90
Loss witch is easily 800 90
We he'd one more trouble, which we got
on easier with Pugsby, the shoemaker,
who took our money, run out Nv leather,
and when he sent to Louisville for more,
the merchants there, ez in the case of Bas-
com, refoOzed to take our currency. Pugs-
| by knowd of Bascom's experience, and he
came up smiln 10 hev US sell him wheat
enuf at greenback prices to renoo his
stock
wat kin we do?" l demanded in dire
distress, for really didn'tsee why Pugsby
| shoodent hev wheat to renoo his stock ez
| Bascom, ceptin that whisky is more neces-
sary TO the Corners than leather.
dor sed Issaker Gavitt with ex
preshun Nv skorn on his classic feechurs
IDOL and 700 claim to be fnanseers2 Hez
Pugsby a safe? No? Well, wher does he
| keep the ST., GOO NV our money! In his
desk? Yes And that is wooden; and his
| bildin is wood. Very good. Tell Pugsby
to come to-morrer and we will give him
wheat at dollar bushel for all NV our
money he hez got. We have twenty-four
hours, and banks ez well ez nashens, kin
be saved in twentyfOur hours"
And lssaker put some matches in his vest
pocket-about SO worth. Matches hez
| gone up 81 80 box-our money.
That mite Pugsby's shop burnt up and
the fire COMMENCED ist under his desk. The
next mornn that unforchnit man came to
US and insisted on heyin the wheat on the
score ov the money he he'd NV ours.
Bring US the money" said Issaker,
| beaming sweetly onto him, and we'll
| give 700 all the wheat you want
But 700 know that l he'd yoor money,
and that it wuz burnt up last mite"
II perSooDl you he'd some Nv our money,
| but l don't kHJic it, replied lssaker. " No
well regulated bank kin live if they shood
take every man word, ez you want US to.
| How kin l tell but wat 700 hev that money
conceded, and that the burnin of yoor shop
was skeem TO defrod yoor creditors? l
am not shoor that it isn't my dooty to in
vestigate the matter"
And Issaler looked so stern that Pugsby
| left the bank with howl of terror,
lssaker is developin so great Il genius in
! fnanceerin that l IN RELY jealus NV him.
He is the master sperit of the institoothun.
AT the board meetin last mite we DISGUST
wat we shood do in sIch cases cZ Pugsby's
| hereafter, but arrived at no detnit con-
clooshun. There is several NV EN-, and they
| will hev to be met. lssaker bleeves in the
style NV treatment he yoosed in Pugsby' :
case, but l can't consent to it, Its heroic,
! admit, and good enutf for Il Temporary ex-
pedient, but it won't do for a reglar sys-
TEN. Eff our money stmoolates man 5
biznis to the pint of his bildin II new hous,
we hev benefited him, and the commonly
ez well. But eff to avoid the inconvenience
NV redeemin that money we hev to burn
the house, wat good hev we accomplished
None. We hey got to find some other way.
don't see no any other way, but no doubt
ii will sejest itself to me in time.
1t is astonshin how the Corners i, boom
in, now that it hez money enuK Five new
ralerodes are ben built, twelve new turn
pixies, IDS celers for new houses is bein
dug, and last week the Corner-stuns for
eight factrys wuz lude with approprit cere-
monies. The gradn is bein dun on the
ralerodes and turnpikes, and that part NV
the work will be pushed TO an early COM
pleshun for the labrors furnish their own
shovels and picks and take our money for
wages The labrers buy their Twin NV the
farmers along the line with that money, and
then the farmers come to the Corners with
it, and cheer ther soes at Bascom's.
So far all is serene and sweet. So far
the money sheds blessins, ez skunk does
perfoom. But at this pint comes worry
Wat is Bascom to do with It? The Loois.
villa v,nrphonta rafpea ~ tapb II for likl-ar