The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1875-05-27
Mark Twain on Orth Ography.

The following remarks were made
by Mark Twain at q spelling match IN
Hartford the other evening:
Ladies and Gentlemen-I have been
honOred with the Office of introducing
these approaching photographed So
lemnities with a few remarks. The
temprance' crusade swept the land
some time ago-that is, that vast pOr-
tion of the land where it was needed
but it skipped Hartford. Now
comes this new spelling epidemic, and
this time we are stricken. Sc sup
pose we needed the affliotiOn. l don't
say we needed it, for 1 don't see any
use in spelling a word right-and Aev-
er did. mean don't see any use in
having a uniform aud arbitrary way
of spelling words. We might as well
make all clothes alike and cook all
dishes alike. Sameness is tiresOme;
variety is pleasing.
| I have correspondent whose letters
are always 3 refreshment to me, there
is such breezy, uDfettered orlginali-
ty about his orthOgraphy. He always
spells koW with q large X. Now
that is just as good as to spell it with
a small one. It is better. 1t gives
the Imagination q broader field, q
wider scope. 1t suggests to the mind
grand vague, impressive, new
kind of COW. Superb effects can be
produced by variegated spelling.
Now, there is Blind Tom, the musical
prodigy. He always spells a word ac-
cording to the sound that it carried TO
his ear. And he Is an enthusiast In
photography. When you give him a
word, he shouts it outputs all his
soul into il. once called upon him
to spell OfangOutang before an audi
ance. He said, "O-r-a-n-g, Orang,
ger, ger, Granger, tang, orang-
ger tang 20 Now body can respect
an orsng-outang that spells his name
in vigorous way like that. But the
feeble dictionary makes n mere kitten
of him. In the old times people
spelled just as they pleased. That
was the right idea. You had two
chances at a stranger then. You
knew a strong man from a weak one
by his iron-elad spelling, and his
handwriting helped you to verify
your verdict.
Some people have an ider that cor
rect spelling can be td1tght-and
taught to anybody. That is a mis-
take. The spelling faculty is born in
man, like poetry, music, and art.
1t is a gift it is a talent. People
who havo this gift in q high degree,
only need to see q word once in print,
and IL is forever photographed upon
their memory. They can not forget
It. People who haven't it must be
content TO spell more or less like-like
thunder-and expect to splinter the
dictionary whenever their orthOg-
raphlcal lightning happens to strike.
There are ia, 900 words in the Un-
abridged Dictionary. / know q lady
who can spell only $50 of Shem right.
She steers clear Of all the rest. She
can't learn any more. So her letters
always consist Of those constantly re-
curing $50 words. Now and then,
when she finds herself obliged TO write
upon a subject which necessitates the
use OF some other words, she
well, she don't write on that subject.
have q relative in New York who
is almost sublimely gifted. She can't
spell any word right. There Is game
called Verbarium. A dozen peOpie
are each provided with q sheet of pa
per, across the top Of which is written
long word like kaleidoSeopical, or
something like that, and the game Is
to see who can make up the most
words out of that in three minutes,
always beginning with the initial let
ter Of that word. Upon one
occasion the word chosen was Golfer
dam. When time was called every
body had built from five to twenty
words except this young lady.
She only had one word-ealf.
We all studied a moment and then
said, "Why there is no in Golfer
dam9 Then we examined her paper.
To the eternal horror OF that ulinspir-
ed, unconscious, sublimely independ-
ent soul be it said, she had spelt that
"Word I'' il anybody here can spell
calf any more sensibly than that let
him step TO the front annd take his
milk.