National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1875-10-13

Ons NaoA = WI wv ".
Thurman.
"Give me another horse, bind up my wound
and take that sharp stick out of my back. -
allen.
Mother, I've peen out to swim.
Oh, you naughty Billy;
Hang that baby up to dry,
You foolish little silly.
81 shall die standing. "--Alen. That is all
right. Now his friends must tip him over and
bury him.
The gallant and eloquent Woodford is talked
of as Republican candidate for the mayoralty
Of Brooklyn.
Now they propose Moody and Sankey as the
winning ticket of 1876. What a revivalution
that would be.
Another embarkation of Spanish troops for
Cuba. Another pack of wolves rushing madly
towards fatal pitfall.
Those old, attenuated, fossilized D. mi-Ja
fingered at the hall for awhile, and then doused
the glim and sadly departed.
The first thing a Fiji Islander does after
getting married is to eat his mother-in-law.
1t is considered a lawful repast.
"IfI die at all 1 shall die in the arms of the
people ."-AHen. And now, what are the
people going to do with his corpse?
ooh for some vast wilderness, some con-
tiguity of shade, something, anything, every
thing but the ringing click of that telegraph"
Allen.
s'Who done It P' cried Bill Allen the other
day. You 'done" it yourself, William, and
we hope your trip up Salt river will be a pleas
ant one.
One Mrs. Titiens weighs two hundred
pounds.-Boston Post. That's nothing, we
know of POLITICIANS who appear to weigh
twenty ounces to the pound.
The New York Tribune says ga man should
pay the penalty of the company he keeps"
Then if he keeps company with a gin-shop Of
course he must pay for the drinks.
A man in California, wishing to gain little
no-toe-riety, declared that q burglar shooting
at him in bed cut off all five of his toes with
the bullet. He did 1t himself. Was not this
toa-dying to fame
Professor Swing says that the Government
has no more right to teach the Bible than to
teach the Koran. The Government hardly
knows how to express its gratitude to Swing
for this. 1t is such a relief to know that it
hasn't got to do either.
''Fair Susan" said Mix to his girl last night,
"may see you home from church" "No,"
replied Susan, 81 am engaged" SIN that
case, Susan" returned Mix, "would it en-
barass you should stand on the curbstone
and watch you pass byl"
Pepper-and- salt Oxford overcoats, with gin
cock tails, is the latest style recommended by
the Tribune. Theyoung editor of the scrump-
tious mind rests much of his change m the
ryesing style, and still he is branded about as
abibulous snob.
The Jamaica Government have seen fit to
seize the steamer Uruguay with all her cargo
on board. This is simply the old, old story of
which we tired so much during the rebellion.
English vessels then seized American cargoes
which were destined to the Government that
was struggling to free her slaves, and now
again we find them seizing the vessels of the
Patriot Cubans who are themselves trying to
become free. The English lion may roar with
still increasing vigor, and the Spanish bull
may below until its gross lungs are sore, yet
this struggling people will be found fighting
70 hot hoo, oF ipIa H.
boon is possible.
The Chicago Tribune calls Emile de Girardin
the Horace Greeley of French journalism. The
only thing needed to complete the comparison
is the death of Girardin and his place filed by
an INSCRIPTIONS boy whom the fates have en-
dowed with big head and nothing of any con-
sequence in tone who knows how to take q
positive truth and twist it into as broad q neg
alive falsehood as any man living with any
hopes of future world. But then the friends
of Mr.. GreeleY's youthful successor often re-
mark, in attempting to smooth over the unfor-
tunate peculiarities of the boy, that he is so
constituted by nature that it is impossible for
him to be truthful when he can make a point
by disappearing the fact. Yesterday morn
ing w nIelaW helu quietly sat DOWN IN the
Tall Tower, and, lifting his quill, made state
ment which he knew to be an absolute false
hood, one which was not only base from its
unprincipled meanness but the essence of in
justice, because it was so uncalled for. The
remark was as follows "The Rev. E. P.
Smith, the Commissioner of Indian Affairs, has
as good as resigned-everything but his pay"
The older Whitelaw Reid grows the firmer
grasp this lying mania takes upon his soul,
and each recurring year makes his case more
hopeless and more hapless still. If the col
umns of the Tribune are to be prostituted to
such base purposes as this, the New York Her.
aid will take an effective step towards its CON-
prehensive plan looking to great moral re-
formation in journalism by giving to the Tri-
btins enough of its lively advertising to fill up
Whitelaw's editorial page. The facts are,
Commissioner Smith will return to his official
duties to-day, and remain at the helm of the
Indian Department great deal longer than
the boy-editor, with his mythical Indian ring
hallucinations and sore-head emoluments,
would naturally wish.