Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-08-12
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

Of. LOUIS uds nef new drinking fOunt-
ain in order and many of her citizens are
tasting water.
New YORK babies are dying at the rate
OF 100 day. The neat is too much for
them, poor little innoeents.
AMAN who received many unreceipted
bills said he never paid any attention to
communication which was not signed.
INSTEAD of fighting duels Virginians
go out and see who can make the best shot
at stump and who would have been hit,
IT is now proposed to enlist men in the
army as cooks, and at each recruiting
depot to establish school for their train
ing.
CALIFORNIA is no place for you, my
friend, if you are a quack doctor They
use 'em there to make corduroy roads
with
/ THE Government has changed the post
4 Office of " Roaring Sam, " Indian Territory,
to " Highland" and the residents are as
mad as hop. 49,.
THE butchers of Montreal are going to
start paper with $4,000 capital. Blood
will tell. Perhaps the English language
will be slaughtered
THE Sartoris baby hasn't said ANYTHING
very cute yet, and his teeth don't come
along very rapidly, althoughheis month
old and is one of the heavy-weights.
EGGS are only worth ten cents dozen
in North Carolina. 1t is this poor rec
ognition of their efforts which makes the
n. Z. hens look upon life as failure.
You can travel all day in New Hamp-
shire and not find any door-plates, but,
then, the kitchen floors are as white as
chalk and all the girls can bake bread.
THE Inter Ocean says there are %, 900
young men in Chicago who can't afford
to marry It's sad Did any of them
ever think of going to work and earning
something?
The reason that a Nevada murderer
didn't escape when the jail-door was acct
dentally left unlocked was " because he
didn't have clean shirt to 90 in" He is
a man of taste.
| A MARYLAND doctor agreed to cure
cripple by "laying on of hands," and fail
! ing to do so he was SO grieved and ashamed
tina he stole a mule and left the neighbor-
hood at midnight
This is the season when the festive moth
devoureth thy parlor carpets, easy-chairs
and laid-by winter garments, and likewise
thy precious furs, if thou lookest not after
the same ott-times and carefully
OVER $4,000 pounds of gunpowder were
exploded at one time in a hydraulic gold
mine in California few days since. 1t
was done for the purpose of loosening the
hard-bal1ed earth that it might wash more
easily.
ONE can learn to be an astronomer in a
year or two, while it takes a man three
years to learn to play the accordion.
Now, then, shouldn't we look I'D to an
accordionist more than we do?-Detro5t
Free Press.
AN old Colorado miner writes that all
man needs for a complete summer outfit
in that country is one lasso rope, one rifle,
with ammunition, and one sack Of salt.
Any energetic man can kill and steal
whatever else he needs.
A New YORKER, dissatisfied with the
present style of male attire, suggests that
gentlemen's suits be made to consist of a
thin flannel shirt or " waist" made low in
the throat, with loose collar, under which
might be worn a thin tie; the shirt to reach
to the top of the trousers, to which it might
be fastened by buttons on the under side of
the waistband. To this could be added a
thin, unlined flannel or alpaca sack coat
to save appearances.
A REMARKABLE case of presence of
mind was displayed by gentleman of
Syracuse, n. Y, not long since while in
this city. Having occasion to be on the
street later than usual, he was approached
by would-be highwayman, who demand
ed his watch. The gentleman snapped a
quill tooth pick, which he had in his hand,
twice behind his back, as If cooking a re
volver, and pointed cigar at the ruffian,
who Immediately took flight-Au5u1u(N.
~ Adoerttser.
The apple race at the celebration in
Wheatland, Yuba County, Cal, was
new and rather trying race. One hun
dred apples, one yard apart, to be picked
up separately and deposited in a box at
the starting point. A person has to run
five miles and 1900 yards, turning
200 times, and STOPPING over 200
times, in picking up and depositing the
apples in the box. There were six en-
tries, but only four that finished. The
winner was a boy thirteen years old, liv-
ing in the Foot Hills; time, forty nine !
minutes