The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1875-03-03


tough stories Of Yankeedom. At last
be mentioned that one of his neigh.
bors owned an immense dairy, aud
made l 100000 pounds of butter and
100000 pounds of cheese yearly.
This story prodaced solne sensation,
and the Yankee, perceiving that his
veracity was Ia danger of being ques.
toned, appealed to a friend as follows /:
True, isn't it, Mr. z. l speak of
Deacon Brown--you know Deacon
BrownY "Y-e-e-s," replied the friend,
that is, yes l know Deacon Brown I.
don't know as ever heard precisely
how many pounds of butter and cheese
he makes year, but know that ahe
has twelve saw-mills that go by but.
termilk." huto 9llafegs
Some people imagine that Mark
Twain is exceedingly smart. We
knew him when he was grinding plati.
tudes for the Virginia Enterprise, and
he was a notoriousiy lazy grinder. He
would sit Mt his editorial table for
hours, drumming on cracked guitar,
while the compositors were waiting for
copy, and when reminded Of his duty
by the foreman, would say: This
working between meals is killing me I"
And he was the healthiesL man in the
Tsrritory.- Oakland Tribune 80
Hi Samuel, has you moved yit?'
inquired one colered man of another
whom he met at market yesterday.
"NO. Use still in do old place, was
the answer "But I war told dat you
war gwine to get out oh de- neighbor.
hood" continued the frst. Vail, l
did make up my mind to, but.sou see
de family next door, and do kmily on
de corner, and de family 0cross. de
street, have left dere wood piles out
doors, and I doesn't desire to change"
At the close of the war, Gen. Joe
Johnston met in Baltimore q Young
man who had enjoyed undisturbed the
social delights of that rebellious city,
and who said to him, aWell, General,
we are conquered, but not subdued.d
"Were you in the service, young
manf' asked the General. ''No, sir
/ had not that honor" "Then, nv
friend" said Johnston, "you may, not
be subdaed, but 1 dn,." f,ss4
'Dear George, how sweet and wavy
that wheat isl" exclaimed fair young
lady, looking from car window. es
love, how beautifully" says dear
George, more intent on insiuuating
his arm around q twenty-four bone
corset, show like a-a-how like
dweaml" "How like oats" retorted
disgusted Granger, "them's oats,
young man." ~ ~ -, -
Only woman's hair! Who has not
some time in life picked such golden
thread from his best coat collar, and
felt his heart beat quicker for il Or
gazed upon tress laid away in some
nook, and not felt the influence of
tender memories? Only a woman's
hair! And yet we do not like it in
biscuit. 1ArIa
"A neai-sighted Boston man was
lately ridicg in street car, when q
lady opposite bowed to him. He re-
turned the bow, raised his hat, smiled
sweetly, and was just wondering who
she was, when she came over and whis-
pered in his ear "Oh! I'll fix you
for this, old manp' Then he knew it
was his wife.
SIS your intended husband in his
conversation and carriage consist.
ent Christians" asked a clergyman of
young lady who was soon to be mar
ried. "In his conversation be is very
pious indeed, but never saw him in
his carriage" was the innocent reply.
A finely dressed lady Slipped and
fell near the Postofiice, Yesterday, and
the boot-blaek who assisted her to her
feet inquired, "Did you break any
bones, MADAME mo, I guess not
she replied; "but I am just as mad as
IT | had broken dozen Of 'eml"
A negro fell two hundred and City
feet in Virginia copper mine few
days ago and struck on his head. The
darkey still survives, but in the place
where he struck the rock contains the
prettiest mould for a Holland cheese
in all the Old Dominion.
The chap who last summer married
a Newport belle, and during the en-
gagement was always boasting of the
Linguistic and vocal accomplishments"
of his intended, looks very serious now
when the matter is alluded to by his
friends.
Every one has a different idea of
what celebration ought to be. This
is natural. One man got very full.