Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-08-05
VARIETY AND HUMoR.

Green apples are now weaving fantas.
tic knots in the stomach of the bad little
boy
-Caterpillars are becoming devour-
ing pest in the gardens around Portland,
Oregon.
"A Saratoga belle writes home: at is
horrid here-not man in town worth
over $50, 900"
"A Baltimore man has invented bal
loon in which he expects to cross the At
lantic in fifty hours.
The average temperature for the first
half of July was 5 q deg. less than it was
the same time last year.
The destruction of mutilated bank.
notes during the past year has been five
times as much as the usual average.
A baby born in Springfield, Mass,
the other day weighed twenty pounds and
two ounces Immediately after its birth
One reason why there is such scarcity
of harvest hands this year is because the
rd-hearted farmers won't let man sit
in the shade and rake and bind.
The New York Tribune says that the
Philadelphia water works will not be
able to quench the thirst of half the
people who visit the big Centennial
Advertising pays. A Toledo man adj
vertised for servant girl, and one of his
three wives knocked at the door in less
than five hours after the paper was out
In case recently tried in New York
court the parties to the suit and all the
witnesses, eight persons in all, had been
married, but are now separated by di-
vorces.
The London Lancet says that no per.
son should sit for more than half an hour
S'posen fellow is sitting on the sofa with
his girl, is he gong to be particular to a
minute?
"A dyspeptic at the Virginia Sulphur
Springs hung himself the other day, leav
ing note behind which read: Its a
mighty good joke on dyspepsia" And
SO it was
-"Tell Sam to grease the wagon before
the procession moves" were the last words
Of John Teko Ledyard, of Virginia, the
other day. There's no doubt where that
prudent man went.
A New York census enumerator
stumbled upon family whose children
claim the alliteratve names of John, iona
than, Josiah, James, Job, Jane, Julia,
Jerusha and Jedediah.
The thorny cactus, heretofore worth
less, Is about to become a thing of much
value. 1t has been ascertained by expert
ment that its pulp is especially adapted
for the manufacture of paper.
The enormous crop of peaches and
ice this year will be of mutual benefit.
Englishmen import their peaches from
the United States now, and they are pre-
pared for the market by freezing.
Young men will tell you that they
don't care to argue, and will then stand on
one leg in the bayfield,, lean on the rake
and argue a straight half hour as to wheth-
er humble bee is an insect or bird.
After all the Emperor Tibcrius was
right in beheading the inventor of MALE
able glass and destroying the secret All
those vulnerable citizens who live in NAL
leable glass houses will now go on throw
ing stones without danger.
The Peterborough On. II. gold mine
is rapidly giving out and no gold or any
thing else has lately been obtained The
company has expended over $65, 900 in
buildings and mining machinery, but it is
generally conceded tc be "a bad job
While woman in Paris was crossing
bridge her baby sprang out of her arms
and fell into the river. She jumped after
it, but could not swim, when another wom-
an jumped in who could swim, and
brought out both, the mother halfdrowned
and the baby dead.
Gen Butler, having been asked by
the Treasury Department to indicate the
present whereabouts Of former staff
officer in whose accounts a discrepancy
has been discovered, replied: "The officer
in question has been dead ten years, and |
reverently believe he is in heaven"
The Worcester Spy gratifies the peo-
pie OF Massachusetts with the announce
ment that they are more heavily taxed
than the people of any other State in the
Union. The State and municipal taxes
for the current year amount to *1710 for
each individual of the population, while
each New Yorker pays only $l1 .06, and
the fortunate dweller in the sparselyset-
tied State Of Texas only $1.37.
There's man who has been travelling
up and down the country looking for the
compositor who always indicates properly
by double and single marks quotation
and quotation within quotation
When he began his search for such com.
position this man was in the lusty strength
of his first manhood, and now his white
beard falls to his waist and he bows be
meath the weight of over three-score weary
winters.-St Louis Republican.
"A man of Fort street east going home
at late hour in the night saw that the oc-
cupants of a house standing flush with the
street had left window up, and he de
cided to warn them and prevent burg
larry. Putting his head into the window
he called out: Hello, good peop-"
That was all he said. A whole pailful Of
water struck him in the face, and, AS he
staggered back, woman shrieked out ::
.. Didn't I toll Won ,,hat xynu'6 rot &c rn,,