The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1875-12-16
Detroit Free Press.l


him around, and made his ears sing, and
his head ache, and lay him up for a
week?"
al can't have boys hollering out to
me that way, your Honor"
You can't, eh Are you any better
than Susan B. Anthony? When she was
in St. Louis the boys bobbed their heads
to her and sang:
"Suel Suel Suei
OH here Is Susan B.
I'd gin a silver dollar
To be as tall as shell
"And the boys frequently call out to
me as pass along, and they are calling
out to others every hour in the day."
"Well, l won't stand no sass from any,
body" said Mrs. May in determined
voice.
You'll have to. There's sass at
every angle and corner in life, and you
must take your share. 1 shall have to
fine you five dollars for disturbing the
peace"
She paid it and went away with both
fists doubled up and her eyes blazing.
NOTED MAN.
A fellow who had been hauled in for
smashing stove in saloon, and who
had refused to give his name, was called
out under the name of John Doe.
l am none of your low-down John
Does!' he exclaimed, as he was brought
to front face"
Don't talk quite so loud until I find
the warrant. There-here it is, and the
charge is disturbing the peace. If you1
name isn't John Doe, what is it ?"
care you addressing your converse.
tion to me, sir ?" asked the prisoner in
an icy voice, as he stood up very erect.
am, sir; am talking right at you
What do you say to the charge?"
"Sir!" answered the prisoner solemnly
"sir 4! you are addressing a noted man
and none of your one-horse riff.raffs !"
Il am, eh? You are not Sergeant
Bates, are you ?"
" sir, am the Key Dive of Illinois p
exclaimed the man.
There was long pause.
The sound of teeth munching peanut:
was painfully loud.
Bijah scarcely breathed, and the clerl
quit gnawing his pen-holder.
sit has been long time since we hat
such noted man here" said his Homo
aJ last. L stIUu1u ike u give yuu tut
freedom of the city in a gold box, but
can't. The best 1 can do is to give vol
sixty days in the House of Correction.
"It will be sad day for this town
my noble duke" replied the prisoner
"Pll take care of the sadness, sir. Yo,
just noble duke yourself into the col
| rilar and oif o.l la.1t
over three words more or I'll double u
on youw
The Key Dive stalked in, treadin
loftily and heavily, but he wouldn't 81
down and behave until Bijah held hir
against the stove and thawed his dignit
out, and even then he sat down yer
softly.
: cob! how 1 do hate whiskyp sal
William Orton as he toed the mark.
"Eh?"
"Oh! 1 could go out and tear tt
roof ofin every saloon in Detroit!" col
tinued William.
t GLOW about this charge of intoxic
tion, Mr.. Orton?''
"I don't know, but l know that l d
i test and despise the bare sight of whisk
: If was king of this -"
ANSWER to this charge, William"
81 don't know anything about yor
charges, and, as l was saying, 1 wis
+ whisky was a brick and l was pill
l. driver. I'd come down on that brick
way to make your hair stand upw
"But you were brought in here drur
) as prince not ten hours ago."
!, Il can't help that hate whisk
q Oh, when l think of it-when l pond
and reflect and--w
a ".Mr. Orton, shut up on that stra
IL and plead to this charge"
e 81 don't know anything about 20
Is pleads, and if 1 could only crush all t
0. whisky in the world l should be happy
g "Your sentence is sixty days." call
n out the court.
Is "ItisT
st "Yes, sir"
It. "Then I'll be shotif don't drink
Or the whisky 1 can get hold Of" said
10 prisoner as he walked away.
Bijah hunted through the cells, behi
the doors, uuder the stove and in
coalscuttle, but the last prisoner was o.
and he appeared and said:
"This court is now closed, and let
disperse and give our attention to ms
ling seeds of goodness into the hearts
he such as sit on the ferry-dock and ch
smoking tobacco"
.ss And as the Key Dive came out to
loaded up the boys sang:
nd noted man in Illinois
Came up TO Michigan,
And as he walked around the streets
Nv His looks the cops did scan.
,sa peeler follered him around,
''o And when justified by law,
He said "Come in-the weather's wet,
as And he felt the peeler's paw.
The great Key Dive will take ride
And view this handsome town;
NJ And when his days are up