The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1875-05-20
POliteness.

Politeness, that is due and proper regard
for the feelings, wishes and pleasures of other
people, is the thing, that perhaps, of all Others
renders life the easiest and the pleasantest it
is the oil that enables all the wheels of the
complex machinery of social life to work salts
factorily. What pity it is, then, that it
should be disregarded as it so frequently is in
domestic life the place where, of all others, its
softening influence is the most required. The
constant intercourse of home life causes insult
able tempers and dispositions TO jar each other
in manner hardly possible in general society
how unwise, then, it is to relinquish the one
quality which acts as species of buffer between
antagonistic temperaments. Besides, it is a
cardinal mistake to regard politeness as a spe-
cies of company manner" to. be assumed or
relinquished simultaneously with our best
clothes; it is, properly considered, g most val
liable quality, involving selfcontrol, some
unselfishness and certain regard for the feel
irgs of others. We wish we could regard it as
by any means common virtue in the home
circle, but it is very far indeed from being so
neither men or women are blameless in this re-
spect, but owing to their gentler and softer ma
lures, women are less frequent offenders than
the lords of creation. Still, they frequently al
low themselves license in saying unpleasant
things to their own immediate belongings, that
they would never take in the hearing of a
stranger. They argue cit is hard if you can't
say what you think, to your own husband, or
sister, or other relative" Grapted-but the
same thing if necessary, may be said in differ
ent ways-why not select the one which will
neither wound the feelings nor rouse the tenn
per of the listener? Many of the bitterest and
most irreparable disagreements in married life
have arisen, not from any want of absolute af-
fection, but from a careessness on one side or
the other, frequently in both, as to the manner
in which subjects on which there may be diff
ference of opinion, are remarked upon. 1t is
almost impossible that two people can, even
though they be husband and wife, think alike
on every subject, and the probabilities are that on
many their opinions will be widely different.
Why, however, should they not be as politely
tolerant of each others views in private as con-
ventionality would force them to be in public
Why should the wife's expression of opinion be
received with, "Mary, don't be fool" or the
husbands with, Really, John, you are quite
too silly" We have already said that the men
are the worst offenders, perhaps because they
care less for, and consequently think less of the
small courtesies of life than do women. Still
this reflection hardly consoles woman when
she finds her husband punctiious in helping
every other woman over the raised style when
he leaves her to climb five-barred gate unas-
sisted; nor is she free from certain feeling of
modification when she finds he considers it too
much trouble to dress for dinner with her alone,
or to vouchsafe an answer to question, should
he have the newspaper in his hand.-Scottish
american.