davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10
Social MiSadyentures.

The ma ority of men have an exceed.
ing dislike to appearing ridiculous, never
having appreciated the full comedy of
life, and that it must either be treated
as comedy or tragedy, or, perhaps, as a
nice admixture of both. TO bring the
foregoing remarks home to our present
subject, when any of those ludicrous lit.
tie mishaps occur which are described in
witty works of fiction, or in comic peri
odicals, how painful they are to the prin-
cipal actors in the scene, and how little
he likes to hear of them again! When a
young man enters q ballroom with his
trousers tucked up; when a grave, wise
man, like Pickwick, enters the wrong
bedroom; when, as once saw myself, a
middle.aged lady comes down to break
fast having some stray locks still in the
confinement of curlpapers, these unfortu-
nate people by no means like to be
reminded Of their misadventures. There
is really no fun, only cruelty, in
reminding them of their needless
ness; and, indeed, 1t becomes a
kind of torture if this is repeated ad
nauaeam. That great artist, Dickens,
took care that none of Mr.. Pickwick's
companions, owing him respect, should
venture to alludc to that deplorable and
shocking incident in good Mr. Pickwick's
adventures. And this present writer
would not dare to allude to the misfor-
tune of that respectable middle-aged
lady who, in absence of mind, had for.
gotten to release some of her locks
from their nightly Imprisonment, if she
had not long ago passed away from this
troublesome world. As we have before
intimated, however, it is the young who
most feel having on any occasion made
themselves absurd or ridiculous. The
middle-aged man, unless he is most
fortunate individual, has gone through
SO much trouble that these minor mis-
fortunes of his youth are food for laugh
ter for him as we'll as other people. Not
always, though. Aman in "the sere and
yellow leaf" of life has confessed to me
that he feels hot all over and knows that
the color is mounting to his face when he
remembers some of the most ludicrous
adventures of trivial kind in his early
life. The sensitive, alas! are always
sensitive, and even old age fails to harden
them.-S0cial Pressure. 80 J. .r.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10
INCIDENTS AND ACCIDENTS.

In the Court of Probate, in London
there has been tried case in which two
elderly maiden sisters made wills in
each others favor, but by some error one
signed the will of the other and vice uersu
One of these wills was in dispute and
the court declined to grant probate.
"A boy in Williamstown, Mass, be-
came a man in this way: While hoeing
corn one afternoon he turned to his
father, who was working with him, and
said: What time is it, father?" "Half-
past two," replied the senior farmer
Throwing down his hoe the son gradu-
ated from his farmer life with this re-
mark: "Twenty-one years ago, father,
at half-past two in the afternoon, was
this'
"A Taylorsville (Ky) man was stoop-
ing down to drink from spring the
other day when a pistol fell from his
pocket and the ball was discharged
through his neck to the base of his
brain. He fell forward paralyzed, his
head, which was the only part Of him that
he could move, coming close to the
spring. The discharge set his clothes on
fire and he vainly tried to extinguish the
flames by squirting water upon them
from the spring with his mouth. He
was fatally burned before anybody
found him.
Henry N. Mygatt had a good clerk
ship in the Treasury Department at
Washington, and many friends of too
convivial kind. He contracted such an
appetite for alcohol that, despairing of
reform in the midst of social temptation,
he resigned and went to Grcenville,
Mass. There, among strangers, he took a
clerkship in clothing-store, hoping that
hard work and isolation would help him
to resist his curse. In this he was mis-
taken. A few days ago he killed himself
with laudanum, leaving written state
ment to the effect that he would not live
a drunkard and could not live anything
else. a
1t is held by some sentimentalists that
the Pomeroy boy should not be hanged
because he obeys an uncomfortable i'm
pulse. One instance illustrative of his
cunning explodes this theory. When he
made his confession the official who took
it down said: II want to have this state
ment correct, and will read it to you,
line by line. Now begin" "Well,
when the girl came into the store for q
paper l told her to go down stairs"
s Stop" said the official, will read this
sentence" He had substituted the
phrase go doWp cellar" for Ego down
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10
A Balloon Experiment.

The st. Louis Republican relates the
following: at was reserved for a boy out
on Olive street to produce a new act to
tho old and oft-rcpeatcd drama of "A
Dog With Something Tied to His TAIL
1t wasn't an old UPSTREAM or split-stick
| affair, but something entirely new. The
dog, which was little black and tan ter
ricr with an aristocratic air, was follow
ing lady, and the boy was idling along
the street with a red toy balloon which
he was holding by string. 1t was
very large balloon, as large as those toy
balloons ever grow. The lady passed the
boy and turned the corner. The dog
came trotting along and was about to
pass the boy also, when the urchin, i'm
PEELED by a spirit of evil, grabbed him.
Then, still further instigatcd by the
devil and curiosity, the boy tied the end
of the string in his hand firmly about the
dogs tail, about two inches from the end,
and let go. The animal started off with
yelp to regain its mistress, but it didn't
regain her all at once. The balloon
Strengthened out the tail in an instant SO
that it pointed toward the zenith with a
kind of excelsior expression, and the
dogs motions carried out the idea per-
fcctly. The wind frcshcned up little,
and the dogs hind feet were lifted off
the ground, and then began series of
remarkable but ineffective movements on
the part Of the animal Itdidnt seem to
be a trained dog, but it turned somcrsaults
and stood on its fore feet and sung little
snatches OF song as never any circus dog
in the world did. 1t would make the
most tremendous leaps and land exactly
in the spot it jumped from, and then it
would settle down to work with its fore
legs and ply them at the rate of 2, 100000
revolutions a minute and get over the
ground in a manner that couldn't
have been supposed under the circum-
stances. The circumstances were pc
culiar, though, and the dog didn't during
the entire play get beyond the block.
The red balloon scared with all the per-
sistcncy of Columbian orators hyper.
bolc and the terriers tail refused to
break. Then the dog got desperate and
bounded and struggled and vaulted
while the big balloon in the air bobbed
up and down like the cork ON the line of
a giant fishing for whales. And all the
while the animal sang: Finally the string
broke and the balloon shot up toward the
clouds. The dog disappeared at the
same time, though the boy noticed some
thing like black-and-tan streak reach
ing for seventeen blocks which lasted
for a moment only. The performance as
a whole had been a success but it left a
bad impression on the boys mind. He
concluded that his schoolmaster must be
fool. He had been taught that body
impelled by two forces operating at right
angles to each other would take an inter-
mediate course. He had just seen that
such q body didn't get along at ALL"
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

John Russell Young, lately appointed
private secretary to Cardinal McCloskey,
was brought up by the bluest of Presby-
terrain fathers, but he married into the
Catholic Church.
Lieut.. John L. Glen, U. S. A., once
Familiarity known as the little drum
mer boy of Chickamauga," has got mar
ried. The wife of the little brave who
cried because they shot bullets through
his drum is Miss Anita r., daughter of
Gen. VIM. B. Finch, commandant at
Fort McHenry, Baltimore.
Henry Seybert, of Philadelphia, who
has given to that city Sc, 900 for the pur-
chase of a bell to be hung in the tower of
independence Hall, has withdrawn his
condition that the names of his family
shall be inscribed upon the gift, because,
as he says, of "the cavil and vitupera.
ton" which has been called out in the
newspapers.
-Uri Carruth, convinced that he
" lacks the capacity to develop lead
mine and publish an Independent Vine
land newspaper at the same time," re-
tires from the Vineland INDEPENDENT. He
concludes his valedictory thus: "And,
now, with charity for all and malice
toward none, we bid good-by to friends
and foes, and settle back on our pillow
for good, long, refreshing nap"
Edward G. Marshall, son of Chief.
Justice Marshall, seventy years of age, is
a clerk in the Pension Office at Wash
ington, at a salary of $1,000. Seventy
years of age, and only about twenty
three dollars per week for the son of the
great Chief-Justice of the Supreme
Court of the United States isn't very
much encouragement for fellow to
have renowned parent.
When Boyton was introduced to the
court circle IN England he spoke to the
Princess Beatrice as "Miss' and called
the Queen " Madame" After they got
through talking he said he hoped thew
would overlook his mistakes in etiquette,
because he wasn't posted up in the
business" And the royal people didn't
get offended as vulgar people would have
done and switched out of the room in a
huff; they only laughed.
-" The daughter of Ethan Allen"
says correspondent, twas a Mrs.
Hitchcock, and lived in Burlington. She
had several sons, one of whom, Ethan
Allen Hitchcock, was an officer of rank
in the United States army, having re.
ceived thorough West Point education.
The other sons, all of whom boosted of
unusual stature and manly beauty, were
either in the army or navy. The old lady
was tall and commanding, with some
thing OF her fathers deteYminatio /
marked upon her handsome, proud face.
She wore turbans, made mostly of white
silk, and her dresses were always Of
those rich, rustling silks worn by stately
danes of yore, and called blue black
She was very interesting in her converse
ton, and adored the memory of her
father, OF whom she had an endless fund
Of anecdotes"
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

THE following are said to be infallible
signs of married couples: If you see a
lady drop her glove, and gentleman by
the side of her kindly telling her to pick it
up, you need not hesitate in forming your
opinion; or If you meet couple in the
field, the gentleman twenty yards in adj
vance OF the lady, who, perhaps, is getting
over = stile with difficulty or plucking her
way through muddy patch; or if you
ments attract the attention of every gentle
man in the room but one, you can have no
difficulty in determining their relationship
to each other-the one is her husband,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

IT is the sagacious remark of keen
observer that you can generally tell a
newly-married couple at the table
by the indignation of the groom when a
fly alights on the brides butter .-B,0oklyn
Argus.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

How" ASKS q st. Louis exchange
chow can the world be flattened ~ BY
st. Louis girl putting her foot down on
it and treading real hard Washington
C0p;taI. '@
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

A MAN came out of the tax-ofIice the
other day, and, exhibiting an empty pocket.
book to his friend, gloomily observed
Bill, where's the altar of our country !
I want to find it," "What for?" asked
the other, in some establishment. "Well,
! want to lay that pocket book upon it.''
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

THERE are 40, 736 lawyers in this unhap-
Ply country, according to the last census;
so you can reckon up the annual stock of
lawsuits yourself.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

GALVESTON calls San Antonio "tht
onion-bed Of The West" Comparisons arr
odorOus.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

TINS illustrates the advantages of edu-
cation: The man who owned the edu-
Gated hog died recently at Montgomery,
Ala. The hog survives.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

In Canada it is illegal for any person to
carry any concealed deadly weapon, such
as slung-shot, skull cracker, dirk or other
instrument of that kind. The statute is
silent in respect to pistols, and therefore it
is no infraction of the law to carry them
about the person.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

A FELLOW must step round lively these
days If he doesn't want the grass to grow
under his feet. &s
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

SETH GREEN says fish can't hear, but
we've seen lots of fish here in this very
town.-DetyOit FreS-P,ess.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

The saying Excuse haste and q bad
pen" has been attributed to ,Apig who
ran away from bone,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

WHAT they call crooked" whisky il
the kind that has not paid its just Govern
ment tax.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

CHICAGO has nothing to have q centen-
NAL about, but she has Custom House to
pull down this year.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

PEOPLE are inclined,of late to look up
on Old Prob. with considerable more
favor.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

CALIFORNIA horses are dying by the
hundreds, Of CHAMBERS,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

They are now laying the discovery of
gas on the back Of Volta, in 1776. An
other brilliant centennial.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

95Sc; Lard, 14Hc. Flour good to choice
s5.s5@5.65; White Winter Extra, $4,000. 50.
The cattle market was firmer; Ike to
1sc for good to extra. Sheep, clipped,
brought 5@6c.
Ar East Liberty, Pa, on the 31st, cattle
brought: Best, $7oo@725; medium, 5000
@6.25; common, $5.25@5.5o. Hogs sold
Workers, $7.OO@7.25; Philadelphia, 5000
$50. Sheep brought s4.25@5.25 according
to quality.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10
FOREIGN INTELLIGENrE

LIE court OF common Pleas, to which the
appeal in the case Of the npperary election
was referred, has unanimously decided that
the late John Mitchell was disqualified and
that his opponent, Mr.. Moore, is entitled to the
scat.
Hon. HORACE MAYNARD, United States
Minister to Turkey, has reached Cons tantino.
pie.
TnE Levant Herald of late date saws
series of terrible earthquake shocks occurred
ut the beginning of May in the province of
Breussa, in Asia Minor. Several villages
were destroyed and 1900 persons lost their
lives.
A CARL1sT battery at Mount Rico on the
9th fired on Spanish squadron, and the Ad-
miral commanding was killed and several of
his officers wounded.
The Cortes Of the Kingdom of Portugal
haze passed an act granting unconditional
freedom to remaining Portuguese slaves,
known as apprentices or freedmen.
A LONDON dispatch of the Goth ult. SAYS
that Paul Boyton, who started the day before
to cross the British Channel from Cape
Grisnez, France, in his life-saving suit,
landed between Dover and South Foreland
on the morning of that day, having been in
the water continuously for twenty three
hours and thirty weight minutes.
AJUD1c1AL investigation concluded at Ber-
lin on the Goth ult. had shown that the offer
of Weissinger to assassinate Bismarck was
merely an attempt to extort money, and that
the man had no accomplish.
THE ships Alert and Discovery, of the Brit
ish Arctic expedition, sailed from Portsmouth,
SEVERAL leading iron companies in England
failed on the 8lst ult.-among them the Abe
dare Company, with liabilities of E75O,OOO
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10
THE SOUTH.

A FIRE in Lexington, KY, on the oath
destroyed about thirty buildings in the most
valuable portion of the city, intlictins loss
of from $4,000 to s! 100000.
THE graves of the Confederate dead in the
cemetery at Nashville, Tenn, were decorated
on the 2Sth ult., several Federal and OK
Federal soldiers being present.
THE graves of the Union soldiers in the
National Cemetery at Memphis, Tenn, were
decorated on the 3lst ult., about 1000 pco.
pie being present, more than half of whom
were ex-Confederates. The same ceremonies
were performed on that day at other South
ern localities.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10
THE WEST.

THE WEST.
The Grand Lodge of the Good Templars Of
the World, recently in session in Bloomington,
Ill.,, elected the following officers for the en-
man, of Kentucky; r. w. G. c., Jo
seph Malins, of England; r. w. G. V. T.,
Amanda Lane, of Massachusetts,; r. w.
G. s., W. s. Williams, of Canada; r. w. G. T.,
r. R. Scott, of Missouri; Superintendent OF
Cold Water Templars, Mrs. NJ. B. O'Donnell,
OF New York. Louisville, KY, was fixed upon
as the place for the next session. A change
was made in the constitution providing that
Grand Lodges may be chartered in States
where Grand Lodges already exist, upon the
petition of the existing Grand Lodges.
A KANSAS CITY (Mo) special of the 2sth
says information had been received there that
a large band of Indians were encampcd on
the forks of the Salmon River in Osborn
County, Kan, and that the citizens had been
Obliged to desert their homes.
THE Chicago Journal of May IS says the
reports from the grasshopper-inHicted re-
gions of the West indicated that the first re-
ports were greatly exaggerated, even in West
ern Missouri, where the pests were worse
than anywhere else.
DR.. J. H. EccLEsroN has seen elected
Episcopal Bishop of Iowa.
Four children, one an infant, of 8. NJ
Christian, of Versailles, Ohio, were burned to
death few days ago by the explosion of a
can of coal-oil, with which one of them was
endeavoring to kindle kitchen fire.
SATURDAY, the Goth ult., was observed as
Decoration Day in many parts of the coun-
try; Sunday, the 30th, and Monday, 31st, were
observed in other localities.
In Chicago, on the 3lst, spring wheat,
No. 2, was higher, closing at 9156t09ac
cash. Cash corn closed at 631sc for No,
and 6Oc for rejected. Cash oats sold at
571a@5S}4c; June options were sold at 5Skc.
Rye brought $1.O2@1.O3. Barley, No. 2,
s1.15@1.16. Cash mess pork closed at
sl9.55@s0OO. Lard, $14.25014SO. Choice to
extra tceves brought s6.OO(@6GO; medium to
good, s5.a5@590; butchers stock, $3.50
500; scalawags, etc., $2.5O@325. Hogs
brought s6.50@7.25 for good to choice.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1875-06-10

and all killed. Many were pulled out by the
arms and feet so badly burned that they
lived but few hours, the flesh pcelins of
on being touched. Some were taken out
with scarcely any flesh remaining on their
bones.
JUDGE PORTER finished his argument for
the defense in the Becchcr suit on the Goth,
and on the 9th Mr.. Eyarts commenced his
summing up, also i'll behalf of the defendant
The latest accounts up to the morning of
the 18th place the number Of the dead by the
Holyoke (Mass) disaster at seventy one; fatal
~ burned, twenty-two; otherwise burned and
wounded, twcnty-seven. OF the dead, fifty
five were females and sixteen males.
FORTY buildings, including a number of
business blocks, in Springfield, Mass, were
destroyed by fire on the 3Oth ult. Loss esti-
mated at nearly $4,000.
A FEW nights ago a band Of masked
burglars called at the house of Mr.. De-
land, cashier of the National Mahawic Bank,
in Great Darlington, Mass, and forced him
to accompany them to the bank and open its
doors, but he persistently refused to unlock
the vaults for them. They then left him in
the bank, and returning to his house robbed
it and escaped.
WESTON has recently made two failures in
attempting to accomplish SIS miles in six
days. The first time he made only 375 miles,
ana on the second occasion he was compelled
10 leave the track at the end of three and
nan days, having in that time walked only
200 miles.
GOLD closed in New York on the 31st at
116H. The following were the closing quo.
tations for produce: No. Chicago spriny
Wheat, s1.Oe@1.O9: No. 2 Milwaukee. s111
glib; No. 2 Northwestern, s1.09@1 10:
Barley, Sl.S0@1.S5; Oats, Western Mixed.
71@73c; Corn, Western Mixed, 73@74c;
Pork, New Ness, 5000; Dressed Hogs,
Yankton daily press and Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1875, 1875-06-17
Ohio D.'naoecr.tidc ! y I dcoay.atiei. J ..

81 COLuNBUSS ~ |0eessl D. no state
democratic convention 1ilis meet in
this city tomorrow. 1t is thought
that Gov.Allen will he renominated
for governor. S. F. Carey and S. F..
Hunt are prominently mentioned for
governor, with chances
very strongly in favor Of Carey.
There are seven candidates for stale
auditor. he most pro llea are
E..W. Green and E. ShelmaiS. f. O..
AshbuEn will doubtless be nominated
for supreme Judge.
! GoLunBps, o., June 1.-THE state
democratic convention assembled this
morning at the opera house. A full
representation from all counties WIS
present. ]. L. Vance was made ten.
porary chairman, aud made speech
of considerable length, during which
q severe storm came up aud blew q
portion Of the roof off, the building.
After the appointment of committees
. recess was taken till z. o'clock. The
two classes Of tinanciers to-day agreed
10 q resolution on the money ques-
ti 1 g ysie seesetos = Thg1asag q W m gsey' be
Yankton daily press and Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1875, 1875-06-17
CRUSHED n An ICKBURG.
The story q thu wreck !ef the Steam.
O. YiekSbnrE. s

The steamship Vicksburg, lost off
the coast Of Newfoundland, belonged
70 the Liverpool and Mississippi
Steamship Company, plying between
Quebec and Liverpool She wss val.
iued at $3.50: 900 and was insured for
the full amount in English companies.
The usual commander Of the vessel
was Captain Thurle. Captain Ben.
nett was commander Of the Quebec.
On the day on which the Vicksburg
WAS to leave Liverpool Capt. Thurle
was taken sick, and by request uas
transferred from the Vicksburg to tie
Quebec. Captain Bennett taking his
place. The vessel became entangled
Yankton daily press and Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1875, 1875-06-17
! Ilha N'4,sfhu. Z,

wAsn1sdfos, Jons l6 l6.--Probabili.
ties for upper Mississippi and lower
Missouri valleys, .nd lakes. Low
pressure; southeast to northeast
ipds; warmer, pirtly & cloudy wealth
ses sand occasional rim.