Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1875-11-10

asked Scudder if he was familiar with
the history Of that battle, and Scndder
said he was. So Bangs told Scudder he
would like him to write up little
sketch of it for the anniversary day, and
Scudder said he would try. The next
morning the sketch appeared IN Inc
Ayyts. and attracted . great deal OF at
tention. When Bangs saw it, he called
Seudder in, and said:
aMr. Scudder, didn't you tell me you
thought you were familiar with the bat
tie of Bunker Hilly"
eyes, SIR"
"Well, if that is the case, | will be
Obliged to You il you will mention TO
ME hat you mean when you say: by
4 O'Clock the confederate troops were
ready for the attack. Gen. Washington
had the eatapults put In line toawait
their coming, and, when Napoleon saw
them, he drew his sword and said:
Soldiers twenty centuries1loo down
upon youf
leveled against the walls of the castle
than the duke of Wellington sent word
to his mother by Gen. Butler, that he
would either win or be brought back
upon his shield. Then ordering his
men to fire at the white OF the enemy
ewes. he awaited the onset with that
majestic calmness which ever distin-
guished the hero of Buena Vista.
..'I'his was the very crisis of the bat
tie. Joan of Are, spying Gen. jackson
behind the eotton-bales, dashed, at him
on her sncw-white charger, swinging
her ponderous battle-axe over her head,
her fair hair streaming behind her in
har .fa.l t1zhaI forward
her hair caught i'm the bough of 4 tree,
and, as she hung there, Sergt. Bates
shot her through the heart with bolt
from an arquebus. Her last words were;
Don't give up the ship
s"rhe duke could stand it no longer.
The Mamalukes had slain all the van
guard. Gen. Sickles had lost his leg
and retired on a pension, and the eIiemy's
skirmishers, lodged in the top of the
monument, were pouring boiling oil on
those who attempted TO scale it, Leap
ing from his horse, he shouted, up.
guards and at them" and the next
moment, with the glorious flag of truce
in one hand and his sword in the other,
he hurled his legiOns upon the lava
beds, crushing the savage foe TO the
earth, killing, among others, the well
known Gen. Harrison, afterwards presi-
dent of the United States
81 think we shall have to part, Mr..
Scudder. 1t seems to me that your
career as journalist ought to come to
an end right here. will accept your
resignation.
''And if anyone asks You why you
left The Argus, point out this paragraph
and say it was because the proprietor
was afraid he'd murder you when he
read your statement that AT the battle
of Bunker Hill the COnfederates lost
$4,000, and the Carthagenians only 6O0,'
and that there is no spot in Virginia
that the people hold more sacred than
that bloody hill where the bones of
Cromwell lie with those of Roger VIII
liams, as if they fought against each
other in the cause of the constitution
and cheap transportation point TO that
language, Mr.. Scudder, and yOur friends
will understand the situation. Good
morning."
THE Irish, rightly or wrongly, get the
credit for all the bulls that go the
rounds of the papers. Ii was an Irish
man who wanted to find 4 place where
there was no death, that lie might go
and end his days there Ii was an Irish
tldt WHICH
of the wrongs of ireland: ".Her cup of
misery has for ages been overflowing
and is not vet fullv' It was an Irish
newspaper that said of Robespierre that
ale left no children behind him except
a brother, who was killed Il, the same
time" IL was an Irish coroner who,
when asked how he accounted for an
extraordinary mortality in Limerick,
replied sadly: "I can't tell. There are
people dying this year who never died
before" 1t was.an Irish handbill that
announced. with boundless liberality,
in reference to a great political demon
stration in the Dublin rotunda, that
''iadies without distinction of sex, would
be welcome
"WHAT's all this talk abOut the cur
rency and the fiye-twinties and SWIM
| thirties that i hears about, Mike!'
hy bliss your sOwl, don't yes know,
Pat: Ii names that Prisidint Grant
wants to make the laborin min work
from five-twinty i'm the mornin' till
sivin-thirty i'm the avening." 'sOch,
the spalpeen, May the divil choke him,
"SrAY,' he said. his right arm around
her waist, and her face expectantly
turned To him, "shall it he the kiss
pathetic, sympathetic, graphic, oriental,
intellectual, paroXysmal, quick and dis
mai, slow and unetious. long and tetii-
Gus, devotional or what?' She said that
perhaps that would be the better way.
SUNDAY-SCHooL Teacher: '.You all
remember the passage in the Bible where
the children got torn To pieces BY bears
for saying to Elisha, go up, thou bald
head, go'?"
More than usually promising boy.
"Ah, | knows; and if Elisha had wore
hat, they wouldn't have know'd he |
was bald-headed."
A RAGGED little urchin came to a ladv's |
door, asking for old clothes. She brought
him Il vest and a pair of trousers, which
she thought would be comfortable fit.
The young scape-grace took the gar
ments and examined each; then, with
discOnsolate look, said, ''There amt no
watch pocket"
\ POET in ApPletoR's Journal says: s'I
touched the fragrance of her hand"
This is almost equal to the s'perfumed
light" that ''steals through the mist of
alabaster lamps" Poetic license is big
thing and the poet takes further advan-
tage of it to refer to ''her shy, reluctant
glove"
''THE revisors of the Bible have
reached Isaiah in twenty eight sessions
This is very slow work. Old Whaxem,
schoolmaster, reached Isaiah in one
session; Isaiah was in the act of placing
crooked pin on the masters seat at the
time.
A MILWAUKEE MAN made three unsuc-
cessful attempts to blow his brains out,
and then his wife told him: ''Don't try
it again, John; you haven't got any,
He goes about now saying that he owes