The Van Buren press., 1875-05-11

Mn CorFlN's SIZZLING Match The
other evening old Mr.. and Mrs. Collln,
who live on Brush street, sat in THAR co
sey back parlor, he reading the paper, and
she knitting, and the family cat stretched
out under the stove and sighed and felt
sorry for cats so well fixed 1t was hap
py, contentcd household, aNd there was
love in his heart, as Mr.. put down his
newspaper and remarked;
see that the whole country is bo.
coming excited about spelling schools
We'll, it's good to know how to spell,
replied the wife didn't have the
chance some girls had, bat pride myself
that can spell almost any word that
comes along
I'm see about that he laughed; now.
come, spell buggy
Humph! that's nothing--b ug g.y,
buggy she replied.
Missed the first time-ha! han he
roured, slapping his leg.
Not much--that was right
1t was. eh? Well, I'd like to see any
body get two gs into buggy, Iwould,'
But its spelled with two g's, and any
schoolboy will tell you So, she persisted
We'll, know durn sight better than
that! he exclaimed, striking the table
with his fist
Il don't care what you know ! she
squcaked, | know that there are two g 5
in buggy.
DO you mean to tell me that I've for
gotten how to spell ? he asked.
'ltlooks that way.
1t does, ell? Well, | want YOU and
all your relations to understand that ]
know more about spelling than the whole
caboodle Of you strung on a wire
And ! want you to understand, Jon.
athan Coffin, thatyou are an ignorant old
blockhead, when you don't put two 3 5 in
buggy-yes, YOU arer
Don't talk that way to me- he replied,
warningly.
And don't shake your fist at me " she
replied.
Who's a.shaking his lst?'
You were
That's lie an internal lie
Don't call me a liar, you old bazaar
I've put up with your meanness for forty
years past but don't call me liar, and
don't lay hand on me-
DO you want divorce ? he shouted,
sprnging up; you can go now. this
minuten
Don't spit in my face-lon't yon dare
do It, or 1 II make dead man of you,
she warned.
- haven't spit in your freckled old
visage, yet, but | may, if you provoke
me further3
Who's got a freckled face, you old
turkey buzzardn
That was little too much. He made
amotion as if he would strike, and she
seized him by the neck tie. Then he
reached out and grabbed her right ear
and tried to lift her off her feet. but she
twisted up on the neck tie until his tongue
ran out
Let 60 of me, you old fend" she
screamed.
Git down on yer knees. and beg my
pardon, you cid wild cat he replied.
They surged and swayed and struggled
and the peaceful cat was disturbed by thC
overturning table, and had her back bro
ken, while the clock fell down, and the
pictures danced around The woman
finally shut off her husbands supply o
air. and topped him, and as he bumped
his head up and down on the floor, an,
scattered his gray hairs, she shouted in ;
terrible voice:
you want to get up another spelling
school with me, don't your
He was seen limping around the yard
yesterday, stocking pinned around hi
throat, and she had coat plaster on he
nose, and one finger tied up. lie wor'
the look Of martyr, while she had th'
bea ring Of a victor, and, from this tim
out buggy win he spelled with two q
In that house Detroit Free Press
E1- 1t Injuries lead pencil to wet tn
point in the mouth, and there is in tn