Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1875-06-12
NOSES.

NOCLO
A young gentleman Of Nuremburg, who had
wooed aud woD, and wanted to wed the fair
daughter of wealthy burgher, deemed it ad-
ysate to pop the question to papa by proxy,
and found mutual friend wiling to act Tor
him. Knowing the lovers circumstances, that
shrewd individual said, ere he Went on his mis-.
sion, Il will give you twenty thousand dollars
Tor your uose, if you will allow me to cut it
of !" Not for the world ~ was the reply.
As the go-between anticipated, the lady's father
raised no objection to her sutor, but simply To-
qured as to his means. "Well," said the
willy ambassador, "he has not any landed prop
erty nor much ready money at bis command,
but he possesses a jewel for which, to my
knowledge, he has refused twenty thousand
dollars" As unsuspicuous as an NJ. p ambi-
ticus of profitable direcorship, the old gen.
tIeman closed with the offer Of the oily,
toDgued promoter Of matrimony, and found
himself saddled with a son-iu.aw whose nose
was his only fortune.
Artists generally hold, with Sir Joshua Rc,-
uolds, that the Grecian is the only perfect nose,
the straight ridged form being more beautiful
than the concave, convex. or any other irregu-
lar shape. The author OF Notes on Noses,
on the contrary, awards precedence to the
aquiline, royal, or Roman nose, as being sure
Indication OF an energetic, resOlute ruling
miDd; and cites in proof the names of Julius
Caesar, Canute, Charles the Fifth, Edward the
First, Robert Bruce. Wallace, Columbus,
Pizarro, Drake, William the Third, Conde,
Loyoa, Elizabeth of England, Washington aud
Wellington.
He tells US that astutepess and craft, refine
meut of character, and love of art aud litera
ture, are the characteristics Of Greeian- n-nosed
folks but we are not aware that Milton, Pc
trarcb, SpeDser, Boccaccio. Raffaelle, Claude,
Rubens, Titan, Murillo, Couova, Addison,
Shelley, Erasmus, Vollaire aod Byron were
remarkable for craftiness. however truly set
down as lovers of literature and art.
Certainly it would be unsafe always to judge
of man by his pose. Suvarotf, tor instance,
scarcely come. 10 the category Of weak minded
men, although be wore as veritable a snub as
James the First, Richard Cromwell and kosci-
usko.
Napoleon had prejudice for long posed men,
on the ground that their breathing was bold
aud free, aud their brain, lungs and heart, III
consf quence, cool and clear. But there are
disadvantages attached to an over allowance
of nose. Probably Wilson, the painter, did
not feel grateful to Nature, when street
boys saluted hin as Nosey and the Greek
who could not hear his owo sneeze, and
the Roman who was asked to place bis
nose opposite the sun, and open his mouth
to expose his tremendous teeth, that he might
serve passers. by for SUD dial, would both
have gladly, bad it been possible. shorn the OBJ
trusive organs Of their uotair proportions. Such
well provided gentlemen as these would have
been qualified for the membership of the Ugly
Club. one oi the rules of that society running,
''lf the quantity of any mans nose be eml'
kka lapy Il,
or breadth, be shall have a just pretense to be
elected.
Men feel toward their noses much as Verbrug-
gen. the actor, did toward his pretty wife, Tor
whom he cared nothing, although prompt to
resent any affront offered to her. An insult to
his nose, consequent upon his telling his prince
ly master to pull off his boots for him, drove De
Confines FROM Burgundy to France, to revenge
the untorgotten injury years atterWard by pliio-
rying his first patron in his memoirs. Many q
man has had the satisfaction OF being shot, tor
pulling anothers nose, or for having his own
served the same way, that being at one time and
not 80 very long ago, the approved manner 'ot
insulting man. !.
1he uuse Gao boast one prerogative entirely
it's own--that of bringing blessing upon its
owoer's head How it comes by this honorable
distinction is q mystery, nonethe easier oftsou
tion by reason of the custom OF blessing a
sneezer being pretty we'll universal According
to one tradition, the practice arose 10 the pom
t6cate Of Gregory the Great, when Rome was
scuurged by plague peculiar for instant death
following upon asneeze, whereof 1t grew into
custom that they who were present when any
man succeed should say, God bless you |!
CONVENTIONAL PHRASES. What q strug-
gle to express thought We detect 10 any Que
who, having abandoned himselfto the formulas
10 vogue, tries to choose words tor himself.
aud 10 say really what he thinks and means
The sohoobuy who indolently takes refuge 10
saug-or what is much worse than slang, the
current phrase Of the hour-to save himself
the trouble, cuts his rhetorical wings tor good
and all. Words are bondage. They cannot
be taken up and cast off at pleasure. The per
son who contents himself with unmeanlng cpl
lhels or terms that merely express likes with
out reason is destroying his powers OF discr,mi-
nation. The girl who finds everything "hor-
rid or perfectly splendid, Is. uneducaung
herself, neutrallzing her lifes work, ana put
tug herself Intellectually below one with none
OF her advantage, bot who uses her mlod
and ear to define thoughts with accuracy and
proprie,y. There is something painful 10 watch
log the process of deterioration, the suppress
slon of thought, the smotheriDg OF Inauguration
which are the consequences of adopting rude
aud conventional phraseo!ogy that throws
the labor of interpretation upon the ilstener.
After some experience of, the verbal freema
sonry current amoog our young people. anu
observing how prone the young ladies OF our
day are to borrow the jsrgon OF brothers aoa
cousins, We are sometimes disposed TO think
the past century had something to say tor itse'
In treating girls schools as places not SO much
to learn as 10 uulearD; to be cured OF awkward
hess and to get rid Of vulgarities.
As soou as the baby 8 teething begins the ro-
nance of married life ceases No woman can
teel any sentiment for man who travels around
10 his night shirt of hot summers eve with
squaling lnfant dangling over his shoulder Il !,
il tho., L. H. s.4.au oailinn him ttdarlinR -