Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1875-04-03
Seeds from the Government.

the Agricultural department at Wash
ington is in the habit of distributing
seeds to those tillers of the soil who hap
pen to want them. Last spring my
Congressman sent me large package of
choice assorted garden seeds, brought by
the department from California. There
were more than I wanted, so 1 gave n
lot Of sugar-beet and onion seed to
Cooley, my next door neighbor on the
right; and some turnip and radish seeds
to Pitman, my neighbor on the left.
Then l planted the rest-turnip, cab
bage, celery and beet seed in my own
garden.
When the plants began to come up L
thought they looked kind of queer, but
1 waited until they grew lager, and
then, as I felt certain something was
wrong, sent for a professional gardener,
as don't know much about such things
myself,
Mr.. Hoops" +" L said, "cast your eye
over those turnips and tell me what you
think is the matter with them"
"Turnip !' exclaimed Hoops. "Tur-
nip /! Why, bless your soul, man, that's
not turnip. That's nothin' but poke
berry. You've got enough pokeberry in
that bed to last a million years"
"Well, Mr., Hoops, come over here to
this bed. Now how does that celery
strike your The munifcent Federal
government is spreading that celery all
over this land of the free. Great, ism
it?"
Well, WE'LL" said Hoops, "and they
showed that off on you for celery, did
they3 Too bad It's nothin' on earth
but pokeberry. This is the California
kind. The deadliest pokeberry that was
every invented"
Are you sure you're not mistaken,
Mr.. Hoops9 But you haven't seen my
beets there in the adjoining bed. The
seed of those beets was sent from Homo
lulu by our consul there. He reports
that the variety attains gigantic SIZE"
Really now," said Hoops, 81 don't
want to hurt your feelings, but to be
fair and square with you, as between
man and man, them's no beets, you
know. Them's the Mexican pokeberry.
pledge you my word it's the awfulest
variety of that plant that grows It'll
stay in this yer garden forever You'll
never git rid of it"
"This seems little rough, Mr..
Hoops, but I'd like you to inspect my
cabbages. They're all right, know.
The commissioner of agriculture got the
seed from Bomeo. They are the curly
variety, I think. You boil them with
pork, and they cut down beautifully for
slaw. Look at those plants, will you?
Amt they Splendid"
Mr.. Adeler," said Hoop, "I've got
some bad news to break to you, but I
hope you'll stand it like man. These
Affections come to all of us in this life,
sir. They are meant for our good. But
really, sir, them's no Borneo cabbages.
Cabbages Why, thunder and lightnin' !
them's merely a mixture of California
and Mexican pokeberry with the ordi-
nary kind, and little Usage orange
sprinkled through. It's awful, sir |!
Why, you've got about two acres of
pokebery and not blessed bit of cab
bage or turnips among them"
Mr.. Hoops, this is terrible news I!
And do you know gave lot of those
seeds to Cooley and Pitmanl''
"I know you did, and I seen Mr..
Cooley this mornin' with a shotgun
goin' round askin' people if they knew
, where he could find YOU
q" Find me! What do you mean!"
Well, you see, sir, that there onion
seed that you gave him was really the
seed of the silver maple tree, and it's
growed up so thick all over his garden
that cat can't crawl through it. There s
about forty millions shoots and suckers
in that garden, and they'll have to be
cut out with handsaw. It'll take about
a year to do it,"
"You appall me, Hoops %
"And that's not the wust of it. Them
roots is SO matted and interlocked jest
beneath the surface that you can't make
any impression on 'em with pick-ax.
That garden of Cooley's is ruined, en-
tirely ruined, sir. You might blast them
roots with gunpowder and it wouldn'
make no difference. And them suckers
will grow faster than they're cut down.
He'll have to sell the property, SIR"
"And the commissioner of agriculture
said that was onion seed Why didn't
Cooley hunt him with a shot-gun2' ~
eyes, sir, and Judge Pitman's got
pokeberry and silver maple CROWN all
over his place, too, and he's as mad as
well, you just ought to hear him snortin
around town. He'll kill somebody, I'm
| afeard."
subsequently I settled with Cooley
and Pitman; but oughtn't something to
be done with that Agricultural depart
ment2 1t will break up farming in this
country if it is allowed to continue.
A Dwarf Elephant.
A very interesting animal, a dwarf ele-
phant, has Just arrived in Paris from
! Tndin CoWnDore as he ia called is