The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-03-25
Getting Even With a Negligent Hus-
band s-..


Ladies who have husbands who are neg
leeuul in supplying them with kindlings
should carefully study the experience of a
Division Street sister. All her married
lille she has had an unbrOken struggle
with her husband TO keep herself sup
! Piled with wood, and the greater part OF
the time she has been obliged to depend
upon her own deftness with the ak, and
| any one who has seen a woman handle an
ak. knows what a dreadful thing 1t is.
TYo months ago she begged of him not
! 10 go away without leaving her some
kkiudlings. He said he wouldn't. But he
finally did. Then she hit upon plan.
She had four dozen clothespins. She took
one dozen of them for starting the fire,
and found they worked admirably. The
next day she used another. dozen, and so
| she continued until the four dozen were
f7g0He. Then she went to the store and
pusctased another four doZen-having
them .'put in tie BILL" When they were
gone she repeated the errand. She said
no more to him about kindlings. For ten
years she had kept up the battle, and now
she was tired and sick at heart. he could
go his own way, and she would go hers
patiently, uncomplainingly-until the end
would come. '-l
On Monday he signified at the store that
he would like to settle his account. The
bill was made out and handed him. He
glanced down the items. AS he advanced
along the column his face began to work.
First his eyes slowly enlarged, then his
mouth gradually opened, caused by the
dropping of his lower jaw; and wrinkles
formed on his forehead. One third down
the column he formed his lips as If to
whistle. Four lines below he did whistle.
Half way down he said:
GrarciOusn' '.. '...
A little further on he said:
"Thunder % H--l T
Four more lines were taken in, and he
spoke again:
''By the Jumping Jupiter ~
Then ne read on, shifting his thigh Wig
orously, and giving vent to various ex-
pressions of the liveliest nature. Finally
he threw the bill down.
81 say, Benson, look here this bill
can't be mine; you've got me mixed up
with some laundry"
.That's your bill, sir,n said the grocer,
smiling pleasantly.
81 tell you it can't be- persisted the
Division Street man, beginning to LOOK
scared. Why, here's fifty-tive dozen
on earth do you take me fora four-story
laundry p ...-.
But it is your bill. Your wife can eX-
plain it to you. She ordered the pins"
MY wife," gasped the unfortunate
man.
"Yes. sir"
The debtor clutched the bi |, jdmmed it
into his pocket, and hurried straight home.
4 81 Orrf mn
abatement of speed, and fiinging the pa.
per on the table before his wife, knocked
| his hat on the back of his head, and said :
Martha Ann johnson, what does this
mean There are fifty five dozen clothes
pins in Benson's bill for the past two
months, aud he says you ordered every
! blessed one of them"
And so did, said she, demurely.
What! Fifty-five dozen clothes
pins in two months!" and he shot down
| into a chair as if a freight ear had fallen
atop of him. "Fifty-tive dozen clothes
pins IN two months" he howled. "Will
just heaven stand that 2"
II tell you, you needn't stare at me
| that way, Reuben Wheeler johnson, nOT
go to calling onto heaven with your i'm
| piousness. | ordered them clotheS-pins
myself, and have burnt every one of 'em
in that there stove, just because you were
too ALFRED lazy to get a stick of wood
And | declare, before I'll be bothered
jawing and fighting to get you to cut
wood, I'll burn up every clothes-pin III
| the land, and you shall pay for them, II
you have to sell the shirt on your back to
| do it. So now! !"
And Mrs. johnson, with face like
scarlet, snatched up the broom, and went
to sweeping the carpet as if every flake OF
| dust was a red hot coal. while the unhap-
py Mr.. johnson fastened to the store
and paid the bill. And before dark that
night he had half cord of wood sawed
split and piled up ready for use.-Dan'
| burg NelCs.