The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1875-04-28
Something about degs-Aeas. /.

Why is the sun like a good loaf?
Because it's light when it rises.
Question for actors-can an ac-
tor be said to work when he plays 7
In what ship has the greatest
number of people been wrecked I.
Courtship.
Those who rise to eminence sud-
denly are very apt to come back by.
the next train. &
Bashfulnesss is often like the
planting on spoons when it wears
off it shows the brass. M
A Spanish proverb says ga kiss
without mustache is like an egg
without salt" a..
When fortune wants to let d fel-
low-being fall the hardest, she lifts
him up the highest. 2
The spelling mania is raging.
Parties Of four in the cars turn two
seats facing each other and spell.
Marble top tables are unhealthy
according to the Herald Of Health,
but it does not state their desease.
Boss Tweed doesn't think the
treatment at the penitentiary very
benign. On the contrary he thinks
it is 7x9.
Those old Greeks were pretty
wise fellows. In their vocabulary
maiden is translated nothing, and
marriage is CANNON.
The Rock County Recorder, heads
its funny paragraph column in this
way: "Written with Scissors"
Those writticism ought certainly to
be sharp.
"Why do you use paint?" asked
a violinist of his daughter; "For
the same reason that you use rosin,
papa" How is that" "Why, to
help me draw my beau"
Nevada ice-dealcrs are already
to double their prices
next summer, upon the ground that
the crop will be almost entirely
eaten by the grasshoppers.
A Boston lady recently left a
sum of money, the interest of
mates the Home forold women an d
which is used in providing tho in
Home of for old men with supply
of tea. -
A young lady while out wa liking
heard, for the first time, her moth
er's intention to marry again, and
she was obliged to sit right down
and cry about it. She couldnot 60
a step-farther.
If George Washington himself
had only been cross-examined by
Judge Fullerton before he died, we
have no doubt it would have turn
ed out that he really lied about the
cherry tree after all.
"Idiot" exclaimed a lady coming
out of the theater, one evening, as
a gentleman accidentally stepped
on her trailing skirt. Which one
of us?" blandly responded the
man.
"No eetin appuls in school ours"
reads sign on the black board of a
schoolhouse in enlightened old
Massachusetts, were educated is
to sit on the top rail and
make faces at ignorance.
A subscriber to a South Western
newspaper died recently, leaving
four years subscription unpaid.
The editor appeared at the grave
and deposited in the coffin q palm
leaf fan, a linen coat and a ther.
mometer.
A colored congregation in Day.
ton have decided to forgive their
clergyman for betting on three
card monte and losing 800 Of festi-
val money. One of the deacons re-
marked: eve is all human, and
de game is very exciting
Mrs. Sweetly-"But why are you
making 90 many dolls pantaloons
my dear Mrs. Jinxby." Mrs. jim
are not dolls clothes
my dear, they are for the poor
frogs who 60 exposed in the water
all winter in our pond
aCut this out: it may save your
life," is the heading of an adver-
tisement in the Portage Register
A Portage man cut it out, pasted it
in his hat, and the same day was
killed by brick which fell from
the top of building.
A clergyman in one of the Eas-
tern cities was met by q. seedy-
looking man with a flask of whis-
key in his pocket, who enquired:
''Sir, is this the nearest road to
?" "No SIR replied the
clergyman, pointing to the bottle ;
'sbut that is."
Mary-"Please MN is it true as
you're agoing to buya grand piano?
Will it be real grand one like
they as at the a1l?" Mistress
,tWoll vas mary T holievo an but-