Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1875-04-03

REPORTED BY GALE pARTrNaToN

II WIS DduSeTt Oh burke street,
full-blooded Martinsburg man. He
works hard every day, SO he
hadn't time to paint his house in
the day time, but the other night
when the moon was shining bright
he took his ladder and paint pc.
out into tho back yard and began
his painting. He had bought the
white lead and mixed 1t himself,
so he knew that the house would be
beautiful white. / say Dangert
painted his house by moon light,
therefore he could not see that yell
low ochre that his boy, JIM, had
put into the paint pot in the morn
ing when he painted the wheel
barrow yellow. Next morning
Dangert went out to take a lock at
his work of the previous night.
Dangert understood how things
were mixed, because he started for
his boy Jim with names strap. q
Drovers who Is very bashful, was
told by his wife to take the clock
up street and get IL mended, he
started off in good spirits, until he
got as far at the court house, when
the internal machine began to
strike the time of day. brewers
pulled his hat down over his eyes
and walked rapidly, because he
knew that If the old time piece ever
got started once, that 1t would new
er "let up" until ii struck 999. At
every step the old time crier struck
louder and louder, still brewers
kept on, though he saw that every
one on the street was looking at
him; even the suspicious off po-
llceman were aroused. At times
the clock stopped for IL few seconds
to gather strength as it were, then
it started off at livelier gait. Dire
vers bit his lips, when one of the
negroes that break stone on the
street, shouted out: s'Say, what's
you gwine to do wild dat COW bell
under your coat tail?" With a
suppressed yell, he dropped the old
clock in the gutter and went on.
Mrs. Fooldam of Martin street
made arrangements to have a little
party around at her house the 9TH
er night. She's conscienciously
opposed to dancing, so she invited
only those of our Martinsburg peo-
pie who are good at telling riddles,
ghost stories and eating oysters
and pea nuts. Everything passed
off agreeaDly until about 10 o'clock,
when Mr.. Fooldam, who is just re-
covering from a slight illness, de-
termined to have little fun at the
expense of the company. Going
out to the woodshed he took down
the string of sleigh bells, and fast
ened them around his waist. 1t
was his intention to play the role
of ghost, and thus clad in the ira
ditional habiiments of Satan,
crawl down the parlor chimney
and threw the assembled guests in
the greatest CONSERVATION. lie
brought the ladder around, placed
it against the chimney and climb
ed to the roof of the house, then he
took a piece of rope, tied the bells
to the end of it and commenced to
lower them down TIE chimney,
taxing good care to make them
ring furiously. Presently Fool
dam heard the girls utter shrek
after shrek. as they ran panic
stricken from the house. He could
scarcely contain himself with
laughter.
But jim Fooldam's oldest boy
had been watching his fathers ma
noeuvers and was resolved to turn
the tables on him. To carry out
this project he removed the ladder
which The old man had placed
against the house. When theparty
broke up in confusion, Jim piled a
bundle of papers in the fire place,
set match thereto, ran out side
and shouted fire, fire, firev'
Old Fooldam was not o bit scared
at first, for he thought that the
folks below imrgined that a fire
had broken out. But when he saw
thick column of smoke issuing
from the chimney, which he knew
contained no fire he became alarm
ed and ran to descend the ladder.
Here he was disappointed, SO he
started for assistance. No one
heard him. AT last he became des-
perate and jumped from the roof,
and touched bottom in an ash hop
per. The hired man broke the
handle Of pitchfork over his head
before he recognized the chained
fiend as his employer, Fooldam,of
Martin street.
Fooldam don't believe in par
ties now.
A woman who says she was born
in this city, recently read the fell
lowing useful hints, in one of our
county papers: If you find
difficulty in falling asleep when
you retire, count one hundred,