River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-05-14
Moving Day.

| III ne carries anything, IL must be char,
which he takes on his head with the back
to the front, so as to prevent him frem
seeing where he is going, and, with the
erect legs in range of the chandelier and
upper door castings. Thus equipped, he
strikes military step, imprioyising his
mouth into trumpet, and starts out. In
less than aquarter Of an hour he has that
chair safely on the cart where it is not
wanted, and is hurrying back after an.
other. Before the carman has returned
Tor the second load, the one boy had de-
veloped into eight, each boy with a chair,
each boy under feet, and each boy max
ing as much noise as planning mill on a
damp day. If boy can't get a chair to
carry he wants two bed posts. lie wants
two so he can carry one under each arm.
Then he starts down stairs. First the
posts cross each other at the front and
nearly throw him down, then they cross
at the back, the front ends fly off at
tangent, one of them digging into the cal.
clmined wall, and the other entanglng in
the banisters. But he won't let one of
them go, but hangs on to both with exas.
perating obstinacy. In the meantime the
carman, who is working by the load and
not by the day, is waiting at the foot of
the stairs, and wishing that he had that
boy back OF the Rocky mountains for
about fifteen minutes and the anxious
father, with straw bed in his arms and
his eyes full of dust Is at the head OF the
stars waiting TO come down, and vocifer-
ating at the top Of his voice, until the
dust from the tick gets into his throat
and precipitates him into violent fit of
coughing. BY the time the third load is
on the way, the novelty of helping carry
furniture is worn oil to the boy, and he
and his companions are firing rubbish
from the garnet at each other. or fooling
with the horse Just as some heavy object
is being lifted into the cart. The best
plan for moving family that has boy
is to get him half bushel of frozen pc.
tatoes to throw, and set him out in the
suburbs until the affair is over.
1t is singular The influence stove-pipe
has upon a married man. There is moth.
ing in this world nc respects so much. A
passing load Of furniture may, in its gen.
eral appearance, be so grOtesque as IN
call forth the merriment of the thought
less young, but if there is a piece of stove.
pipe in it no longer than hat he will
laugh. We don't care who the man is,
how he has been brought up, what is his
position, wealth or influence, there is
that about length of stove-pipe which
takes hold upon his very soul with a
force he is helpless to resist. And the
married man who can stand within reach.
ing distance Of a stove.pipe without feel.
ing his heart throb, his hands clinth, his
hair rise, and his throat grow dry and
husky. is an anomaly which does not ex-
lSt. Stoye-pipe has only one ingredient,
and that is cOntrarinesS. Ii is the most
perverse article in existence. Ii has
done more to create heart ache, embitter
lives, break up homes, and scrape off skin,
than all other domestic articles together.
The other domestic screw-driver pales its
Intellectual fires in the presence of stove-
pipe, and the family hammer just paws
in the dust and weeps. We don't care
how much pains are taken to remember
and keep in order the links, they will not
come together as they came apart. This
is not joke, this is not exageration; it
is simply the solemn, heaven-born truth.
IL we appeT unduly excited in this
measure, We are sorry for it, but we can't
help We cannot write upon the sub
ject at all without feeling the blood
Jingle at our very fingers ends.
Then there is the carman who is to
move you. lie is engaged the day be-
fore. lie says he is going to be so busy
that there will be some difficulty in ac-
commOdating you, but if you can have
your things ready at A. NJ. he thinks he
can fix it. You are up at 5 O'Clock that
morning. At half-past 6 a full load of
furniture is out in front, and another load
IS stacked up in the hall and on the stairs.
Your coat is torn down the back, one
thumb is out Of joint, and pint Of SCOT
and an equal quantity Of perspiration are
lighting for the mastery of your person.
At ii A. the carman makes his appea-
ance and says We are going to have rain.
About the first thing a woman does in
amovlng is to cut her fingers, and every
object she wishes to call your attention to
is pointed out with a hand that is covered
by a half-POund of carpet rags, and smell
ing strong enough of arnica To knock over
a stable boy. The injury is sometimes
caused by closing her eyes when she is
about to strike NALL but is most fire..
quently done in taking up tacks with a
timber caSe-knile.
Years Of experience in moving enables
carman to distinguish, in an apparently
indifferent glance, the light from the
heavy end OF a stove, or which is the best
position on the stairs-in front or behind.
Against these fearful odds the head of
the family has no chance whatever.
IL Is now pretty generally admitted
that in moving or house cleaning, a.chld
will put away three times the amount of
food as on any other occasion. Forty
times day the mother apprehensively
inquiries, Land sake what's the mat
ter with that child Has it got tape
worm 2"
II is always the same. People who
have moved eleven times, and each time
different way, unhesitatingly reply that
the result is the same every time. There
Is no easy way TO move.
Many articles which have become
pleasant to MS from long association look
dreadfully cheap and dingy when loaded
on cart, with the neighboring window in