Bozeman avant courier. [volume] (Bozeman, Mont.) 1872-1882, 1875-06-18
PRINTER JOE.
Page from q Battered Form.

! PkIN IER JOE.
A Page from a BATTERED Form
[Fr.m Rounds Printers Cabinet.1
Joe was character. He had rat" te
1t all over the Union and through fore,g
lands; had been deluged in New Orleans
burned in Chicago, frozen IN the Nortl
melted in the tropics, volcanoed in Mexic &
esrthquaked in California; and hob-nobbe
with the President, s'bummed" in Par
Row. prospccted in Nevada, attended til
prayer-meeting in Fulton street and I'll
monte table In Washoe, coralled with tn
Greasers. wigwamcd with the Indians
fought under both the Federal and Con
federatc flags-in fact, turned his hand I
every thing, at times, though ''stick"- I'M
still TO his rule" ing passion-a har
''casc," generally out at the elbows, as vel
as ''out Of sorts'' and been .'chascd'' b,
many landlord, after he had ''distributed
Ia very large amount cf "aa9=.: ae9==;: ip.;ier" ar;
''pi."
Yes, Joe was a character, almost su
|generis-genus, literati; species, printer
Nature had made him loafer, and h,
thought it disrespectful to attempt t. ;n
prove upon her handiwork. He was
good printer, but his imprint" was tn,
most often to be found upon glasses ane
bottles. in some concern devoted to supply
ing unfortunate imps with new cauda
appendage. id est, retailing spirits. There
Joe was right bowel" and liking pin.
He tcld good story and sang good song
was always ready to Jeff" though, by
some strange mystery, the Equals" hi
used had ''nicks" on all sides, while those
of his opponent only the usual number
clearly proving his lineal descent from OLD
Nick.
In pinch Joe was host. GIVE him 9
''take" upon Presidents message, with q
promise OF ''something to take" ad lib
afterwards, and there was no man who
could set faster-and make more errors.
If printing is one Of the levers of society,
Joe was certainly one Of the fulcrums.
He was always happy as clam at high
water: wise lin his own corceiD as an owl;
obstinate as mule; sleeping as well upon
a ''stone': as more imposing" bed: hun.
cry, son:etimes--always dry; working
when he was obliged to do so and coul |
get ''sit'-loefing at other times; care
less, shiftless, unambitious-as fair a
specimen Of the tramping jour and ltin-
Grant vagabond as could be found in the
land.
Where he was born would have been a
question very difficult for even him to
have answered. Ask him, and you would
be about as much enlightened is wa. A-r4
Ophclla by Topsy, who "Ncbber was born,
jest growed." If Joe
had any parents living he never mentioneaa
hem. Perhaps .s'..:.::cc Kept him quiet.
i't'.cc:s.g II he never was even accused OF
such thing. But somewhere he had first
seen the light; somewhere learned his trade,
and sometimes made it useful. Though
le didn't belong to the ''union." he ap.
,eared to hold the solemn conviction that
t belonged to him, and drew upon the
members with the most charming freedom
whenever impecunious-which, truth to
ell. was the greater part of the time. Pay
him Saturday night, Us late as you pleased,
md he would be sure to be around early
Sunday morning, begging loan or ad.
rance to get his breakfast--one after the
fashion of Falstaff, $50 much sack and
10 little Bread" 1t appeared to be re-
ipious maxim with him not to retain any
money over night, and he kept 1t most
If the God Of Waste held
,ourt. Joe would have made the best OF
prime ministers. Free Lunches" Joe
held to be great institutions, and ne pa
tronized them with the most unswervlng
loyalty; and the opening of new saloons
we're red letter days. he would have made
m unbroken feature, had he been running
The city rancho.
II was the morning after one OF these
blow.outs that Joe founa n,mso.. s.""se' .:..."s
in the Office of police justice.
"Joseph," quoth the great Dogberry OF
he law, ...be yees here agin?'
"Yes, Squire" replied Joe meekly;
thought might as we'll call around ana
pay my respects to you." .4t ],
.And. faith. that's all be iver will pay"
remarked one of the officers aside.
..Silencc in the coor,! Fhat brought yees
here Joseph."
1.-TWO policemen. Squire ..,
"Bedad, and yees don't kape . civli
ongue I'll be afther committln' yees Tor
,ontimpt. j'st."
II hcpe I shall never sink 30 low as
hat" responded Joe, with . wink. ana
ookine around anxiously for some friend
With whom he could negotiate an amount
sufficient for his b:tters. ,.
"S,lence 10 the coort! Fhat was the
.e.son ov your bein' brought, Joseph"
..Expect had too much pull" on"
"Joseph. We an miserable spalpeen'
md sure I've notion to sind ye up Ter
.No rood in that Squire; I shall only
,omc down again. Beside, you ought 20
remember that it was drinking your heai'n
q future alderman that"
..whist!f Silence. in the coort, say.
rosenh. an I'll lei yees of, jist this time'
will We lave the town intireiyF
III will-YOu bet F
..Then 90, and sin no more; and De dom
,,...ed ti,l vees for an omadhaun.
somehow Joe found friends enough %
,,.hle him TO redeem his promise, and one
ha fnund himaelf In far