The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1875-04-23
Wit and HumOr.
.ens-cemeteries.


KEELING mediums--shoemake
WHAT animal comes down from the
clouds Rain, dear.
WHEN sweet oil is put into castor
does it become castor Oili
WHAT is that which, by losing an eye,
has only nose leftl A noise.
PARTY ties-those little white chokers
worn by blonde gentlemen who part their
hair in the middle.
Mr.. SPINKs is not going TO do any
more in conundrIns He asked his wife
why he was like donkey, and she said
because he was born so. He SAYS the
answer is very different from that.
PATIENT to doctors, after consultation:
"Tell me the worst, gentlemen. Am L
going to die?" Doctors: eve are di-
vided on that question, sir. But there
is a majority of one that you will live.
AT printers festival lately the follow
ing toast was offered: woman: second
only to the press in the disseminating OF
news" The ladies are yet undecided
whether to regard this as a compliment
or not.
HIS Honor of the Police Court wanted
to use boy as witness the other day,
and he inquired Club, do you know
what an oath isg'' eyes, sir" replied
the boy, Gathers used 'em ever since l
can remember "-Detroit Free Press.
A NEWSPAPER out West thus heads ito
report of a fire: Feast of the Fire
Fiend-The Forked- Tongued Demon
4 l. II n. II
Pile Are the Scenes of Boston and
Chicago to be Repeated Loss $50.
A MAN named DaSgett, after warning
everybody by advertisement in the
Hartford Times not to trust Mrs. d.,
burst into poetry as follows:
Happy day when got home.
Happy day and found her gone.
SHE Is perfect Amazon" said a pu-
pil in one of our schools of his teacher
yesterday, to companion. Yes,
said the other, who was better versed in
geography than history; 81 noticed she
had an awful big mouth.
A MARRIED lady WAS complaining to
widow of her husbands cruel ISLANDERS
upon her, when the widow grimly re-
Piled: "I've had three husbands, and
not one of them lives to say word
against me. Dead husbands tell no
tales"
A GIRL screamed in lecture audience
in Lafayette, Oregon. Then all the
other girls screamed General conster-
nation ensued, and a rush for the doors.
People were bruised, clothes torn, and
the room ut length was emptied. The
,,.,ta hol
JoURNALIsTIo-Scen A sub-editor's
room. Sub-editor has evidently beeu
dining. Small boy (from irate proprie-
tor)-"Mr, Macfinigan wants to see you
Immediately, sir. - "Tell him I'm out. "
Small boy-I told him that, sir, and he
said 1 was to go and find YOU" Sub (af-
ter deliberation)- -" Well, go and find
me. Punch.
SOMETHING always happens to spoil
any great speech which Detroiter may
try to get off. Yesterday among the peo-
pie at the ferry dock to see the ice sweep
by was long-haired, profound looking
man, whose soul took in all the grandeur
of the scene He had just raised his arm
and commenced: "How puny is man
compared to nature and her" when a
warehouse clerk rolled barrel of beans
against his legs, and the long haired man
sat down on his plug hat, which was ly
ing on the dock. He wouldn't even be
a spectator any longer.-DetroH Free
Press.
ONE of the late New York illustrated
humorous papers has an irresistible cut.
This is the scene: An old gentleman is
walking in his garden. Presently the
milkman comes along outside the high
garden wall and gives his customary yell.
Old gentleman hears something, but be-
ing very deaf, is unable to make ont just
what is wanted; so he puts his ear trum-
pet in place, and elevating the bell-end
of it over the wall, exclaims, g Here -
Milkman takes it for a dish, empties the
quart of milk into the old gentleman's
ear, and goes ON about his business.