The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1875-09-23

ist acquaintance, who has mission, wait
ing for me- mentioned tohim that had
a boil. Said he:
"Why, I've had hundreds OF them
and can cure them every time all you
have to do is to wait till they come to
head, and then Git requires nerve to dol 1t,
though) just take razor or lancet and
lay it open to the bone, and cut the core
out by the roots -
/ suggested veins and arteries, and he
saw at once that hadn't any nerve.
had no money for his mission, but on
my offering him two dollars to help start
a ghost factory here in New York that
should beat the Eddy brothers, he took
up his hat and left me and my boil to the
next tormenter, who was not long IN put
ting In an appearance.
The next was Turkish-bath man, who
assured me that he had had a very bile
GUS turn year ago, and had sweat
them out of himself by taking six baths.
You see, = he said, ga boil must be
kept warm, and that being a known fact,
why, the Turkish bath is an interven-
ton of Providence for all Job-ites the
world over.
] promised to at once call on my
friend Dr. Miller in Twenty-sixth
street, and let him put me through q
"course of sprouts" I was deferred
from so doing by a friend in the ice
business who told me that one OF his
neighbors had tried the baths, and in
stead of curing him the boils came out
all over him worse than ever. "And
now" said he, if you will come down
to our ice-house and just walk leisurely
around in it, keeping your blood cool
for few days, you will find that all
this superabundance of heat in your
blood, which is evinced by the boil now
on your hip, will gradually pass away,
your boil will go down and you won't
have another till you get red hot again. !"
This looked as reasonable as the bath
cure certainly, and I promised to be on
hand bright and early next morning and
try to freeze out my boil. Just as was
starting out in the morning hadn't
limped two yards from my house-when
I was hailed by a friend, who, when in
formed Of my ailment and intentions,
suddenly wheeled me about in the direc-
ton of my house, saying:
ssIce be blamed (! III cure you Go
ing right into our diningroom he asked
for brown soap and sugar then helping
me to hobble upstairs, he made poul-
tice of the soap and sugar, and insisted
on my wearing it on my boil all day.
I promised to do so but after he left
me and it began to ache pretty hard, /
could not help mentioning my feelings
in the old-fashioned way, and the noise
r ,,oo<1o lo1po. hoor1 NV 7odxy oo11o7. IN
my wife, she at once said that she could
relieve me and cure me at the same
time Sending out for raw onion, she
said all I had to do was to slice it up and
lay it on my boil, and its cooling proper
ties would effect a certain cure. This
seemed very reasonable and worth try
ing, and we tried it.
Before its "cooling properties had
got fully under way, happened to re-
member an important business engage
ment which must be attended to, and
so [ shook off my doctor and onion at the
same time. Returning home two hours
later young lady friend came to the
front with five cents worth of fax-seed
poultice which her uncle always used
and he never was without boils she felt
sure that job used fax-seed poultice. [
said / guessed not I was posted on Job;
all he did was to scrape himself with a
piece of broken pie plate Dob ii. - and
even when boils had evoluted up to
lsaiah's time, all they did was to make
plaster of figs for them. But the man
who knew the boil business by heartwas
near by, and he gave me the surest cure
of all-c.ld water before breakfast.
"Drink it freely, and its action on the
liver and blood is such that it will cure
you just as sure as. twice seven is four
teen" And he could cure anything.
He was the only man that he had ever
heard Of who could set broken ribs. But
broken ribs are not boils.
now was determined to make an in
ventory of all my boil cures, and mix
them together and put on one big plas-
ter which would surely cure it at once.
But when / came to mix cold water and
hot water, ice and steam, fax-seed and
cedar berries, shoemakers' wax and
honey, onions and ointment, Indian
meal and razors, they wouldn't mix and
there was no necessity for it, for just
then I ran against chair-back and with
one moderate-sized yell I found my boil
had wiped itself out. Oneida Circular.