The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-04-10

tainted dead away on drawing from P'Po'
mass Of paper flowers and notices. There wa
no fire in the parlor, Sunday evening
| No man shows bis insignGcance and uttcl
uselessness about the house to such degree a
when his wife is hopping up. He feels this, ans
so does she, and he knows she feels it, which II
worse still. To offer an adverse remark on sucl
an occasion, is about as insane an enterprise a:
an individual can embark upon. But Clinton
street man did 1t, Saturday. His wife was mop
ping the kitchen floor, and he was moving about
the room 10 keep out Of the way Of the wet mop
when he unhapply observed, that that wasn't
the way his mother did It, 1t was done in a
fash. There was sharp report rs II three
pounds Of very wet and very dirty cloths had
settled across human face, and in the same in
slant man went over chair, and half way I'M
der table, looking very much as if mud vol
cano had kicked him IN the head
Mark Twain says that with the POOR whites
along the Mississippi chils are mcrciful pro-
vision Of an all-wisc Providence to enable them
to take exercise without excrtion.
Most Buffalo sailors have given up the idea OF
running boats this summer, and will devote the
rest Of the year to fishing on the lake through
the icc.-Rome Sent. M
They attempted to give out an eight syllable
word at one OF the Rhode Island spelling matches
the other night, but found that there wasn't
room for it in the State.-Norwch Bultet'n
4 little girl about nine years old, says the De-
trot FIRE Press, was crossing the Campus Mar.
thus yesterday, having her fathers dinner.pai
on her arm, when man gave pull at the long
braid OF her hair hanging down her back. Did
you do that, sir? she exclaimed whirlng around
He admitted that he did and she continued:
Maybe you don't know who am, sir. I'm en-
gagged 10 Jack Thompson, sir, and we're to be
married IN nine years, SIR
Wecub, welcub, birthful sprg,
Happy birds are dow cd wig.
Flttdg about frob tree to tree,
Filldg the air with belody,
Philadelphia Ledger
We measured tie baby against the cottagel
vail is the beginning of poem in Milwaukee,
PAPER This is certainly an improvement on the
Id plan Of sitting down on the refractory squal
er.
4 New York correspondent says yoH can al
way. tell q young man descending from the first
antilles Or Boston by his having on the end of
IFS rose wart and sprouting three hairs
An Indiana widow said she didn't care to mar
y again, but If she ever did getanother husband
she'd make him buy corrugated elbow for the
1arlor stove before she SAID yes
The st. Louis Globe thinks Tilton's dinner
able talk must have commenced with White
ioulcd Elizabeth, pour the lbation of soup for
he guests Of this our tent upon the fcryid sands
If daily life,' and continues thus: Mr.. Tilton,
a carver over his head in luminous
ircles, and plunging ii into boiled turkey, ia
IA! with my good sword, Excalibar, win un-
cam thee from the nave TO the chops, and fix
hy head upon our battlcments. wilt thou TO
lrst guest have meat dark as the curtains of
iedar, or white as the neck Of the northern
wan? (She saws she will have some). Dressing. u
She nods) Thus over it pour a foaming Ma.
ct sip
Miss Eastman. OF Boston, speaks of eyes as
right as buttons on an angels undercloshiDg.'
Flora Temple is now thirty years Of age, blind
n one eye, short Of wind, and pretty well worn
,ut, while the gentle Susan Anthony, although
everal summers older, is still pert, gushing and
vey.
That's right dear MOTHER said loving
laughter, who was expecting her fellow, Just
tir up that fire, and run down TO the shed and
ring III, enough wood to laet till | o'clock, and
shall be your faithful and obedient daughter
Or long time,-,Vatto9n Gazette,
London thieves now turn their attention to
ipping the fur trimmings from ladies' sacqucs.
his is the latest furrin news Seal-ah' !,
The following Is one of the several little dit
les of the western spelling school
o, lead my infant feet to walk Il
Into the spelling school;
Let other children sheer and laugh
At photographic rule,
But on that better way still lead
Til perfectly SPELL
SO may shun the path that leads
To where Josh Billings fell
The other evening when a Sixth street father
,OXed his sons ears as punishment for impu-
lcnce the lad stood before him and remarked
See here, father, was reading this morning
hat the drum OF the ear is one of the most sen
tlve things in the human system. A sudden
Dlow upon the ear is liable to produce deafness,
ma tbc practice oil culAng children cannot be
90 severely censurcd. Ii is but relic of that
lark period when man with wart on his nose
vas put to death rs a sorccrer- DGnbuyy NelrS.
A Fond du Lac man watched surgeon ampu.
ate another's frozen toe and then tainted away,
nd got half the whisky the doctor had bought |
or the other man.. Ht}rdttkce Ne,cs
The youthful King is making lively time for
he Spanish capital. Why do they hurry Ar on
oy
'She dyed for me- said the young husband
when he bchcld her dark locks gradually return |
ng to their original red.
We three brothers he
In one cause,
Pete pulls, sam snulls,
And chaws.
4 young lady in a neighboring town is en-
gagrd to be married TO Il gentleman named Ho-
ner Place; and you can Judge for yourself
she thinks there's no Place like Homer