The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1875-06-24
what would hold all the snuf in

S0i lie pIOOaoiy Sbluuleo Su-
periOr officer
Fools die as certainly as bsld-headed
men, and il is an unsustained asser-
ton the saying that "Death loves a
shining mark.D
If there was anything of the sort it
would be easy enough to get blue
blood in mans veins by the trans.
fusion process.
Give 3 man light heart, = white
hat, and new suit Of linen, aud for
q day he is above the cares aud de-
pressiOns OF this world.
Burglars lack the eoDstant applica-
tion necessary to become successful
merchants. They frequently open
stores, but 1ever stay long in one
place.
Red Cloud, a famous trotter owned
in Flora, Illinois, is thought to he
superior in speed to Goldsmith Maid,
and bets are msde that he will beat
her best tIme-2:l4.
A person was told that three yards
Of cloth, by being wet, would shrink
one quarter OF yard. "Well, then, 4"
he inquired, ''if you should wet quar-
ter of yard. would there be any
left ?"
Newspapers eau be sent after July
1st from the United States t. any
part of Europe at tbs rate of two cents
each, il they do not weigh over four
ounces.
There are eight millions Of asrman-
speaking people 10 the United States.
and they have three hundred news
rapers and periodicals in their own
h -uage.
A little fOur-year-Old woke up very
early one morning, and seeing the
full moon from the window, he innO-
Gently remarked II should think it
was about lime for bod to take that
moon in" =
An enthusiastic lover who was told
by the loved one that she would mar
ry him II they had to live ON bread
and water, suggested to her that IL she
furnished the bread he would skirmish
around for the water
my dear" said husband, IN
startled tones, after waking his wife
in the middle Nt the night, 81 have
swallowed a dose Of strychnine %
"Well, then, do for goodness sake lie
still, or it may come up"
The tenor and soprano in Boston
choir were married recently. a fae0-
tiOus exchange says that they met by
chants, the usual way, and ultimately
agreed to duet. Ane the first addi-
tlOn TO the family viii make a trio.
A little girl and boy, three or -four
years Ole, were playing on the ice
when sis fell down and commenced
to cry. Bub ran up and sOothingiy
lisped "DOn't ewy Thwear
Thwear Thay damn !H-DaTtmolsth.
A Cincinnati woman tried to reach
the bOttOn of the stairs ahead of 3
cask of vinegar, and the surgeon who
fixed up her broken bOnes said that
she might try for q thousand years
and yet get beaten every time.
Connecticut evidently believes in
the theory that an ounce OfpreventiOn
is better than an pound of cure. She
is considering the prOpriety Of pass
ing a law providing fOr the imme-
diate destruction of all horses affected
with the glanders.
"On which side Of the platform is
my train ?" asked q stranger in 2 Jer-
sey City depot, the other day. "Well,
my friend" replied q gentleman pass
ing, "If you take the left, you will be
right, il you take the right, you win
be left"
An old writer on manners says :
"When 8 woman would impress the
behOlders favorabIy, let her carry her
self with her chin drawn on as by a
bride. 1t giveth an air of decorum
and stateliness becoming to her wo-
mapbood."
She used to keep bits Of broken
china and erockery piled up In con-
venient corner of the closet, and
when asked her reason for preserving
such domestic lumber, she shot q 1urid
glance at her husband, aud remarked :
"He knows what them's for.u
A farm in California, consisting
Of, q, 900 acres, has been let recently
for term of five years at an annual
rent OF $40, coo. The farm ia stocked
with J, 900 head of cattle, 100 horses,
80 mules and $50 hogs, costing the
lessee, with the crops, the sum Of
S74, $50.
"May leave a few tracts ?'' asked
medical missionary OF a lady who
responded to his knock leave
some tracks ? Certainly you may"
said she, looking at him benignly
over her specs. Leave them with
the heels toward the house, II you
please"
The Bank Of England has about
eight hundred clerks. They usually
enter at between eighteen and tWen-
ty-fve yesrs OF age. Their salary be-
gins at about four hundred do liars.
From this they advance until by the
time they are fOrty-One they yet Si700
a vear. after which they can Ordinari-
ly hope for no increase.
Great excitement was caused in a
rich family in New York by the un-
accountable disappearance Of q gold
snuff-bOx, richly set with brilliants,
and equal satisfaction when q young
gentleman of six acknowledged that
he had utilized IL as a coffin, and
buried it with his pet canary In the
garden.
A lady who had been teaching her
little fOur-year-old the elements Of
arithmetic was astOnished by his run
ming and propOuDding the following
problem "Mamma, IL you had three
butterflies, and each butterfly had 3
bug ia his ear, how many butterflies
would you have % The mother is
stiIl ct work on the problem.
The bride-elect of General Sheridan
is described "a a very pretty, rather
jOlly-lOOking girl Of nineteen or there
abOuts. She il the second daughter OF
General ID. II. Rneker has been ae-
quainted for years as q school girl, and
later rs society young lady, with
General Sheridan, aud the match Is
considered by mutual friends as emf
nently suitable.
When a horse breaks his leg It is no
longer necessary to shoot it sin order
to save its life," as the Irishman did
with his pig that was hurt by the cars.
A veterinary surgeon Of Utrecht,
Long Island, recently set the broken
hind-leg of horse so successfully
that the animal Is sound as ever IL
took about six weeks 10 effect the
cure.
A Western editor exclaims /: "BOs-
ton needn't attempt to cell any of her
'ishirt bosoms, warranted not 10 rum
ple,D in this locality. Not much !?
The sigh, the exclamation, the sweet,
tremulOus accent, the delicious fra
granee of her hair and breath-ali
these may pass away in q moment,
but the rumpled shirt bosom remains