The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1875-12-14
AYOUNG MOTHER's ExPERI.
ENCE.
one os the Prestisss ThinEs Ever
Written.

running through the English press.
"My Own Child" gives the experience
of a 16-year old widow. whose husband
had Just died, aud whose infant was
about to be born. She says: As Is
customary with young mothers, 1 Of
toner feared that / snould die IN my
comiag trial than live TO see my child
grow up and flourish. Any happiness
that 1 might experience in the prospect
of il only came in fits and starts. 1t
seemed too terrible an ideal to survive,
aud my fear at times was overwhelm-
ing. / brooded over it day after day.
till my depression was almost habitual,
and haunted me even in sleep; would
cause me TO start up three or four
times night, shrieking for help and
trembling from head to foot with
horror which could only feel and not
interpret. Had / had any one on
whom TO lean in this extremity should
have borne myself perhaps with great
er dignity and trust; but more than
ever did now feel myself to be alone
Had Hugh's dear, joyous voice been
able to whisper assurance to me, how
ever ignorantly, 1 should have oeiiev-
ed and rested on his word. Had pos
sessed mother to take me in her arms
and tell me that the Joy OF the posses
sion of myself had outweighed all the
pain. l might have taken heart from
her example and learned to put my
confidence in heaven; but had no one
TO speak to on the subject but such as
were even less wise than myself. Aunt
Tessie considered it excessively I'M
proper that any one should allude to
such a thing as q baby until 1t had
| been dressed in Christian attire and
laid in bassinate; and Jane, with the
horror of the uneducated OF physical
pain. and the wonderful capacity they
have for dilating on the terrors OF SIT
uation, so augmented my vague fears
whenever / mentioned the matter TO
her. that my own sense, small as II
was. pointed out the advisability OF
keeping my thoughts to myself. 80 l
dragged on the weary days alone, aud
spring drew nearer aud nearer; and II
ever prayed it was--not for protection
and safety and happy future with my
child, but that / might die Deiore IL
ever saw the light. L was so frlghteh
ed.
II was the dawn of one OF the earliest
days of March when l lay IN my bed SO
weak and exhausted that L felt as IL L
were sinking through the mattresses
and the floor, right away into inhnity.
Everything above me seemed as though
I was in a dream. The voices OF she
parsons who moved about my room
seemed far of, as if heard through a
fog: vet could distinguish each word
thew said. and watch in a kind OF In
distinct and hazy manner the gray
dawn that struggled through the white
window blinds, and fought with tho
sickly light of the candle which Or.
Carlisle seemed to be carrying all Over
the room in the most aimless way. i
could trace the unusual disorder OF the
apartment, and 1 could SEQ that the
faces which had been SO anxiously peer
ing into mine for the last IL hours mad
settled down into something like theii
normal expression again. knew, toe
that nv trial was over, and that 1 hac
passed through the gates OF hell intt
The calm of heaven; but l was too Ian
, guild to think of anything else. lei
. as il my weakened senses we're gradu
, ally fading away into unconsclousn ness
and all L desired was allowed so TO iad'
away. and never be troubled with pair
or pleasure or any emotion more. Ev
en- a loud and energetic squall IRON
the other end of the room did mol
arouse me.
"a very fine child" said the doctor
"Very fine, sir, responded thu
nurse, who had been torturipg me 10
2l hours past with wise saws, question
able Jokes and worrying attentions
until had begun to regard her as al
emissary Of the fend himself.
: shes regular beauty, she is; anC
a such lungs, too.
: These words, accompanied by anoth
4 er prolonged squall. made me feel
little curious. Some of the few pleas
4 ant anticipations had ventured to in
5 dulge in hickered back upon my mem
r ory.
e doctor" / said family.
o "Hush, my dear you mustn't talk,
Q was the immediate as DR.. Carlisle cam
Q to nv bedside and felt Of my pulse.
$3.50 We are getting on. Bu
Q you must lie still, like good girl, an
go to sleep"
"But my baby"
"Oh. the baby's all right! A nic'
healthy little girl Now, you know
If eyerything's we'll over, so you mu
l. shut your eyes and think OF nothin
u but having a good rest.
q But the squalling was still going G
y II believe they put the baby on top
!, my chest Of drawers to keep 1t out
' the wav). and something quite new
;, and that had never experienced b.
IA fore. began to spring upon me at IL
sound. aud make my heart palpita
a with eager JOY.
q q doctor L will go to sleep, but
20 must see my baby."
- "Afterward, ny dear, aiterwarC
se YOU are not strong enough yet. Tru
% me. everything is right, and you sh'
=; have il as soon as you have rested
q. little"
- !. oh, doctor Nurse (! do give me
At baby y
n. Nv agitation was rising. The nuI
Glanced at the doctor, and the doct
e. nodded at the nurse, aud In anoth
70 moment a bundle Of flannel was laid
%. INV left arm, and trembled with ca
~. erness as pulled il open. A fat, p
,d nv red face met my view. with a nc
.. tbat seemed to spread half over 1t, g
80 weak swollen eyes feebly blinking
of the light, aud a mouth that was
from ear to car-in fact, the orthod
on newborn babe.
the But don't think / saw what
of was like. / was experiencing that m
ret yelous thrill that comes over won
we when the child of the man she loves
il first placed in her arms. and IN the
ms conscious little creature beside m
- only saw Hugh's representative: hu
ms in his strength aud beauty-Hugh
on his imprudence and boldness-H'
,es. in his love aud protection Tor m
Qht Uuoh on his death bed Oh
never missed Hugh before rs i mis-
him when FIRST beheld his baby IN
}. armsi Where was he to relsice G
this wonderful thing with me Ito
sed thankful for my safety-to assure
st. he would love il for thy sake ana
volt own? Where was the father OF
,ge. cb;IdP I only felt half a mother "
,ci. ont him. The first word i uttered
her I looked at my little daughters
lent tnre.. was his name. The hrst weic'
avs I gave her we're the tears that swe
,ent up weakly into my eyes at the rem
the brance that he could never see hsr'
by .uueh /" L exclaimed brokenl,
.oneezed the little bundle To my
,nds ON and turned my face round u
ned the pillow. ..;,, o..y.r 4
our aid the doctor, as he mixed some
have =. ,.-......,, An a olaHa. Entst,