The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1875-06-05
Mare pettiforuCrs.

On last Monday morning three promising
youths, known as Charles Cutaine Jones, An
drew Jackson French and liorato Hcrkimer
Ruuifer, might have been seen slowly vending
their way toward the c., 3. X q. depot, their sew
eral countentnccs indicating deep depression OF
spirit" while ther tagging steps ana dark rings
about their several eyes told plainly OF the miu-
night gas CONSUMED in porug over knolty ques
tons in Blackstone, disputed points in "seYeh
out" and how to beat four aces in game OF
draw" a Ia ScteGcs. The said youths, with said
! illustrious names, were on their way 10 Mount
Vernon to review the Supreme Court (and not
to visit the tomb of George for the purpose oil
obtaining signatures TO divers and several sheep
skins, and 10 learn from said Court, for the sum
Of s. per head, how TO beat both bowers and the
ace in game Of euchre straight
They went aud yesterday the swift-winged
! lightning announced, they passed" They all
"passed"--ndividually and collectively they
passed" They bad learned to pass" before
they started In fact passing" was, and always
had been, their best grip Of course they pass
ed" Looking back over two years OF hard,
close study, neither OF them was able to re-
member time when they failed to pass" or
take it up. The decision per curiam is that in
the memory of Judge Brccse, never had three
young men shown such proficiency such thor
ough knowledge Of the technical terms so nee
essary to be understood in passing" correctly
and at the proper time. Their examination ran
somewhat as follows;
Brccsc-Andrew Jackson French, what have
you studied?
French-I have studied all the law books in
Richolson's Office, together with Judge Gilman's
last lecture on Geology, Mrs. DeGeer's temper
perance speeches, two Ottawa mineral spring
tracts and the Beecher trial.
Brccse-Good. Charles Catalina Jones,
where were you born; how have you passed
your time since being born, and what have you
studied in the mean time?
Jones That question amt cording 70 either
Hoylc or Schenck, and besides its leading and
void for uncertainty. Divide it up or III demur
Breese-Tll take leave to amend. What have
you studied?
Jones-Ci.y council proceedings, Tilton's first
statement, how to grease the wheels Of the CIR
cult Court so that my clients may live long
enough to see their cases tried, two or three law
DOCKS DdTllullS anu IleSlt
Brecsc-Jones, you can pass Horatio Herki-
mcr Rudifer, are there any good looking widows
in your neighborhood, and il so, how many:
Rudifer-Therc are, Judge, several.
Breese-I want to see you privately after court
adourns. Now tell me what have you studied?
Rudifer-Bishop on marriage and divorce,
Schenck's guide TO draw poker revised statutes
of 1S45 Col. McCaleb's great story called lob.
SON." and whether Tilton might not be mistaken
in the color Of that lounge.
Breese-All right. / think we must let the
bows through; their studies have been well
chosen and thoroughly mastered, which facts
speak well for the boys and reflect high honor
on their tutors. Ciier, adjourn the court.
The boys will be home the latter part OF next
week if their funds hold out