Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1875-07-22
dor pou'w Readers.
HOW TOMMY WENT TO CHURCH.


tor adreadful thing had happened. Cinthy
Ann had lost her hair! that lovely hair for
which, but the day before, she had given
herwhole quarterly allowance of fifty dol
lars. And now it was gone! She wrung
her hands in despair: of course she could
not go to church-nobody ever went to
church without h&irl
There was council held in the hall,
and it was decided that burglars had been
in the house, and it would be wise to con-
suit the police They would, therefore,
send Thomas who was dressed for church
in his new trowsers) in quest of an officer
| but he was not around, :" which was
strange, as it was his practice to be
around when anything Of an exciting ma
ture was transpiring; so, naturally, they
began to fear that he, too, had been vic
tim. Jane had dressed him up beautifully
and seated him in the great new armchair,
as straight and uncomfortable as q brand
new pin in a brand new pin-cushion; but
he was certainly not there now, and it re-
manned an open question whether he had
walked off of his own accord or had been
picked off for his peculiar straightness
and cleanness and newness. Just at this
exciting crisis there was heard in the re-
gions of the nursery decided squeak
squeak! sQueakn'
Then up rose the Dobbs family, includ-
ing DR.. Johnson, the dog, Mrs. Brown,
the cat, and the three small BIS, and re-
paired to the nursery, where, 10! mount
ed upon his careering steed, sat the
young Sir Thomas, while floating out
upon the breeze was Cinthy's AIMS mag
nifcent tress, ingloriously tied to the.
wooden stump which once had held
tail.
There was a general uproar and confu--
sion, and in the midst of it all the as
piring youth was carried away captive,
and soon, to his deep modification, he
found himself sh0rn of his manly habili-
ments, and robed in the despised dresses
Of his infancy; for you must know that
when first the beloved pants came, dress
es were the rule and the lovely trousers
the rare exception, worn only on state oc.
casions.
Then by and by he was hired to be a
good little girl for whole day that he
might be a boy in the evening. Then,
finally, the trowsers grew to be the rule
and the dresses the exceptions, which
dresses were kept till such times as he
should be bad
Poor Tommy! they were the dread skel-
etons in his closet.
Well, he was leftall alone in his disgrace
with Jane, while all the rest went off to
church; but Jane was not entertaining.
She read story book and left him to his
own devices, so he slipped out into the
garden, but he did not care a fig for the
pinks and peoples that day.
Presently he discovered that by some
unaccountable mistake the door of the
tool-room had been left open. He went
in. There hung his fathers garden
clothes and a rough-and-ready hat two feet
broad. He put the hat on his head, then
stepped into the boots, put himself into
the vest and buttoned it all the way up,
which effectually covered the obnoxious
dress-an but the sleeves. He then sat
down to mediate, with the large boots ly-
ing out straight before him. He thought
of the church and the great organ, and
was suddenly filled with an unspeakable
longing to go and hear the big music.
Had you been in the streets of a certain
town on that Sunday morning you might
have seen the phenomenon of hat and
boots slowly vending their way up to the
church door; and had you looked closely,
you might have seen two small hands
clinging to a strap of either boot, and al
ternately lifting, to aid the feet that mi ght
be supposed to occupy the inside
Church was nearly out and the Dobbses
were calmly sitting in their pew, all IN
conscious of what awaited them Pres
emily there was a strange s'clump! clump!
clumpr' in the aisle. A low litter swept
through the congregation. Everybody
looked around except the .Dobbses, who
were well-bred people and knew better.
The gray-haired minister looked up and
forgot to preach, for there, standing at the
entrance of the Dobbses' pew, was an ami.
mated pair Of boots with a hat on top.
Mrs. Dobbs took her eyes from the face of
the minister and rested them for a moment
on this strange object, and then grew pale.
Mr.. Dobbs looked sharply through his
eyeglasses and said "Jupiterp' loud
enough for the minister to hear. Then
out from under the hat there came a
voice.
" com ed for to hear de big moosic, pa,
and | won't nebber, ne55er take Cynthy
AIMS hair for my bosses tail again, 7e5-
6erp'
i Cinthy Ann grew purple in the face
The pale mustache of Dobbs, Jr., looked
paler than ever against the scarlet back
ground Of his face. Mrs. D. grasped the
offending object, which wholly disap-
peared under her came1's- hair shawl. The
gray-haired minister recollected himself
and very soon church was over
How the young Thomas reached home
do not really know; but I have heard
that when the Dobbs family was returning
from church there were seen to proUude
from under the maternal camel hair two
very large boots with two very small