The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1875-09-29

riage: it IL the matter that holds the
soshul bricks together.
But there amt but darn few pholks
who put their money in matrimony who
could sit down and give a good written
opinyun viii on arth they cum to do
it.
This IL CRATE proof that it IL one ov
them natral kind ov acksidents that
must happen jist as birds fly out ov the
nest, when they have feathers enuff,
without being able to tell viii.
Sum marry for buty, and never dis
cover thir mistake. This IL lucky.
Sum marry for money, and don't see
it.
Sum marry for pedigree, and feel big
for six months, and then very sensibly
cum to the konklusion that pedigree
amt no better than skim-milk.
Sum marry bekause they have bin
highsted sumwhere else. This IL a
cross match-a bay and a sorrel. Pride
may make it endurable.
Sum marry for luv, without a cent
in their pocket, nor a friend in the
world, nor drop of pedigree. This
looks desperate, but it IL the strength
of the game.
If marryin for luv amt success,
then matrimony IL a dead beat
Sum marry bekause they think VIM
in will be scarce next year, and live to
wonder how the crop holds out.
Sum marry to git rid of themselves,
and discover that the game was one
that two can play at, and neither win.
Sum marry a second time to get even
and find it a gambling game-the more
they lay down the less they take up.
Sum marry to be happy, and not
finding it, wonder where all the happi
ness goes to when it dies.
Sum marry, they can't tell why, and
live, they can't tell how.
Almost everybody gets married, and
it il good joke.
Sum marry in haste, and then sit
down and think it carefully over.
Sum think it over carefully fust, and
then sit down and marry.
Both ways are right, if they hit the
mark.
Sum marry rakes to convert them.
This is a little risky, and takes a smart
missionary to do it.
Sum marry coquettes. This is like
buying a poor farm heavily mortgaged +,
and working the balance of your days
to clear off the mortgages.
Married life haz its chances, and
this is just what gives it its flavor.
Everybody luvs to phool with the
chances, bekause everybody expects to
win. But / am authorized to state
that everybody don't win.
But, after all, married life is full az
uncertain az the dry goods business.
Kno man can swear exactly where
he will fetch up when he touches calico.
knO man can tell just what calico
has made up its mind to do next.
Calico don't knO even herself.
Dry goods ov all kinds IL the child
Ov circumstances.
Sum never marry, but this IL just az
risky. The disease IL the same, with
another name to it.
The man who stands on the bank,
shivering and dassent, IL more apt to
catch cold than him who pitches his
head fust into the river.
There IL but few who never marry
bekause they won't. They all banker,
and most of them starve with bread
before them Spread on both sides) jist
for the lack of grit.
Marry young! IL the motto.
l have tried it, and knO what an
talking about.
Ifennybody asks you why you got
married (if it needs be-, tell him you
don't recollect.
Marriage il safe way to gamble
If you win, yon win pile: and if you
loze, you don't loze ennything, only
the privilege of living dismally alone
and soaking your own feet.
l repeat in italics, marry young.
There IL but one good excuse for a
marriage late in life, and that is-o