The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1875-10-14
AZ the Detroit Police Court.
A LESSON on PARENTAL GovEKNMEN

Z a
"I'm sorry for you, and yet amt"
his Honor was saying to awoman whose
boy had IaIn away from home after
stealing all her money. "YOu see, it's
your fault. How did you bring that
boy up?"
''As good as l could" she answered.
"That's what they all say, madam,
and yet you can look around you and
find five hundred boys in Detroit who
sass folks, who steal and lie, who evade
schools, who won't obey their parents,
and who are bound to pull hemp sooner
or later for the crime of murder. Your
boy is only ten, and yet you can't con-
troll him."
"NO, | can't
Go away, madam don't want to
talk with you. Why, if | were you I'd
make that boys heels break his neck or
he'd come up to the mark on the gallop.
| don't believe in pounding and maui
ing, but the boys must learn to obey. If
they won't do it through love they must
be bounced, and well bounced. There's
nothing like good ash boOt-jack in
house where there are unruly boys"
"And you can't do any thing?"
$50 to the police, madam, and if you
catch that boy and don't proceed to
wollOp him until he yells like dog in a
bear-trap hope your dead husband may
rise from his grave and make faces at
you"
Thereupon she departed, and Bijah
skulked into the corridor and returned
with
A PROFESSOR.
Henry Gibson came out with wild eye
and nervous step, and as soon as he
could secure a view of his Honor's good
natured face he feelingly remarked:
Il protest. solemnly protest!n
Don't take on that way, Mr.. Glib
son, >" soothingly replied the Court.
Il will, sir-I 1CiH take on! l PRO
test, sir
"Do you protest draft, Mr.. Glib
son?"
mo, sir; protest against this out
rage!'
Didn't you have sheets on your bed,
Mr. Gibson, and didn't they give you
milk toast for breakfast"
81 tell you l PROTEST." exclaimed
TIE prisoner
"Weu, | would, too, if I'd been found
drunk with my body jammed in between
a sugar hOgshead and a barrel of kerO-
sene. There's lots of law in this cOun-
try, Mr.. Gibson, but there's no law to
prevent you protesting from this time
until Christmas.
Sir! | want justice!" said the pris-
cner; Il demand justicei"
THAT'S a different thing, Mr.. Glib
son, and I'm happy to say that l can
accommodate you. | find you guilty,
and sentence you to the House of Cor
rcction for thirty days."
Il prO-in
But Bijah pulled him in out of the
soft, sad sunlight which streamed into
the court room.
WANTED THOMAS.
She was little bit of a woman with
= big straw hat on, and she suddenly
squeaked out:
"Oh. siri want to see Thomas, sir!"
We'll, look around you, and if you
see him it will be all right
"Ohi sir, he isn't here, sir, she said,
after glancing around.
"What Thomas is it?'' inquired the
court.
cob! dunno!"
Is it Thomas JeffersOn?'
"'Deed, sir, but | can't tell"
Or Thomas Jones, Brown, Smith
Perkins, De Laney, St. Clair or With
erspoon?"
" None o. them, sir-it's Thomas"
"Well, your Thomas is far, far away,
it seems, and now let's proceed to ask
and answer other questions. Let me in
/ quire if there is the remotest suspicion
in your mind that you were intoxicated
last EVENING"
ooh! | can't 90 on till l see Thorn
as, she walled.
And Thomas, oh! where is hep"
"That's what | dunno"
! "Well, | can't keep this case open all
summer to please Thomas, John or Joe.
You will have to plead"
u plead for Thomas she answer
ed
" Guilty, or not guilty?"
ooh! sir, call for Thomas, sir!n
" Madam Bliss, can't have any more
fooling around. | do not know this
Thomas. He may be wild Arab, a
/ bowling Turk, a bearded Russian or an
American with his hair parted in the
center for ought | know. We must dis
pose of this ease
"Thomas, oh! my Thomas!" she
called as she faced the audience.
:" He answereth not, Mrs. Bliss, and
now desire to know why you kicked
down the line fence between you and
your neighbor, and threw Stops at
her?'
"Oh! sir, if Thomas was only here!"
" wish he was-I'd send him up
with You for sixty days, and if you ever
find Thomas please send me his photo
graph"
Bijah adjourned the court, tenderly
placed the prisoners in a buggy and the
boys came out of the alley and sang:
SEES a-weeping for her Thomas,
And Tom. oh! where is hep
If he was any sort of feller