The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1875-05-06
Chronic Candidates
One of Them Expresses His
Opinion Of Things Gen
eraIlV.

Our invitation to the people to come
up the first Monday and talk with US
about the crops was responded to by
Col. BoabhI Grimes, late candidate for
tax collector. He has never ceased
talking about the last election, and how
he came to be defeated, and after set
thing the crop question in short order,
he showed such evident inclination to
let out on his favOrite theme, that we
| piled him with few questions, first
telling him that we wanted his views
! for publication, which accounts for the
| higl-strung sentences he occasionally
| lets fly.
"Mac, your darned convention IL ruin
this country. They had one way back
| yonder in "a and it killed nearly all the
cattle in the country. They amt going
TO be any crops this year, Gaze O. that
darned convention"
awe have feared that, Col. Perceed. -
"Caze why, you see, faint in the ma
tur Of Providence to allow such lot O.
| tillygusted darned fools as we is to make
crops and raise cattle when we let few
cusses take hold o. the bugle horn o.
! liberty an smash free institutions over
the head with it in such a fumigated
manner. That's why got beat. 1 al
ways fit for freedom of doin' what
every body wanted to, whether they did
or not, and these fellers come along and
putricate the people by tellin' 'em that
they amt no gov'ment. Now, l allus
will believe that I'd a made the best tax
collector in the lot, for l knows the peo-
pie, and when l knOwed a Teller was
poor, I'd let him off and gouge them
refulgerant, pot-gutted bondhOlders,
don't you see ?''
"That's exactly right, Col. Perceed."
"Well, if we'd 'er got ahead o. these
darned rich cusses and let the cOnven-
ton business rip, I'd Ter showed you
how to run. Why, Mac, l tried to make
the people believe they ought to 90 for
me, Gaze l was fur 'em. If they had
FER just taken all the candidates off but
me, why, I'D FER run clean through the
internal old dramergasted convention
without tOuchin' har. Some how or
other, though, the convention run all
my friends crazy. Now, l amt a man
to go back on my friends, but they sOt
back on me, and | amt gOin' to ask 'em
no odds next time"
care you a candidate now, Col q"
Candidate, hi! Why, I'll run till
1 heal the wounds OF my bleedin'
country, if it takes all the sticking plas-
ter in the country! Run! 1 can't
stand and see a lot o. excoriated old
Z
hook O. liberty into the ground and
break off the ploughshare o. free insti-
tutiOns without rushing to the breach
an rOllin' up my breeches and wadin'
in the blood o. the slaughtered bald
eagle plum up to my weather-jints.
| Run! Ask the sucklin' hen if she loves
her litter o. little chickens! Ask the
roarin' lion eff he'd eat Niger! ask
the believing bull what note he tunes
his voice to! Ask the gentle elephant as
he sticks his trunk through a ten-fOOt
thick solid oak stump what's trumps
Then turn around and ask me if I'm
goin' ter run, and you could lay all your
money out that knock the convention
and the bOnGhOlder so high they'll stay
up week studyin' about whether to
come back or go on"
CHATS fine, Col. Is that part of
| your forthcoming address ?"
eyes, got one O. my neighbOrs to
help me, an we fixed up seventeen
pages just like that. Let me say it all
to you. It's the darndest snatchinest
thing you ever heard, an I'll beat 'em
on it, sure"
He was about to commence, but we
| stepped out and got a little negro to
come after us in few minutes, and
thus escaped it. The Col. is in fine
health.