American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-04-17

do YOU think of man like that? He
hasn't got enough soul in HIM to be worth
preachin' to. That's my opinion"
at wasn't generous"
"No, sir. Why, there's Belcher come
home from Peru with six mummies that
he dug out of some sepulchre ia that
country They look exactly like dried
sit ON them things. They're human be-
ings; nobody round here knows what
they died of. The law has right to
know. Belcher amt got no doctors
certificates about 'em, and I'm sworn to
look after all dead people that can't &C
count for bein' dead, or that is suspi-
cioned of dyin' by foul play. / could have
made fifty dollars out of them deceased
Peruvians, and l ought to've done 1t.
But no! Just as I was bout to begin, the
Supervisors they shut down On it; they
said the county didn't care nOthin' about
people that had been dead for six hun
dred years, and they wouldn't pay me
cent. Just s if 5000 years was anything
in the eye of the law, when maybe a
mans been stabbed or something, and
when I'm under oath to tend to him.
But it's just my luck! Everything ap-
pears to go agin me, specially if there's
money in it,"
"You do seem rather unfortunate"
"Now there's some countries where
they frequently have earthquakes which
rattles down the houses and mashes peO-
pie; and volcanoes which busts out and
sets hundreds of 'em afire and hurricanes
which blows 'em into hereafter. A Cor
Oner kin have some comfort in such a
place as that. He kin live honest and
respectable. Just think of settin' on 400
or 500 bodies killed with an earthquake!
1t makes my mouth water. But nOthln'
of that sort ever happens in this jackass
kind of a land. Things go along just IS
if they was asleep. We've got six saw
mills round this town, but nobody ever
gifts tangled in the machinery and sawed
in half. We've got a gunpowder factory
out yer beyond the turnpike. But will
that ever so up? 1t wouldn't if you was
to chuck red-hot stove in among the
powder; leastways not while I'm Cor
Oner. There's a river out there, but no.
body ever drownds in it where l can
have-a hitch at him; and if there's a
freshet everybody at once gifts out of
reach. If there's fire all the inmates
is got away safe, and no fireman ever
falls off a ladder or stands where wall
might flatten him out. No, sir, l don't
have fair show. There was that riot
out at the foundry. In any other place
three or four fellers ID a been laid out
stiff, and there'd a been fairness for the
Coroner; but, of course, bein' in my
county, nothin' occurred, eXceptin' that
Patsey Dingus got kicked in the ribs and
had Fart of his ear bitten off. A man
can't make an honest Twin under sech
circumstances as them; he can't, really"
cit does appear difficult"
did think maybe l might git the
Supervisors to let me go out to the GEM
etery and set on the folks that's buried
there, SOS l could overhaul 'em and
kinder revise the verdicts that we been
rendered on 'em. I'd done it for half
price; but those fellers have got such
queer ideas of economy that they
wouldn't Hssen to it; said the town
couldn't go to any fresh expense while it
was buildin' water works! And l wanted
to put the new school-house out yer by
the railroad or down by the river SOS
some of the children d now and then git
run over or fall in; but the parents was
posed to it, for selfish reasons, and SO l
was showed out of that chance. Yes,
sir, it's rough on me, and just tell you
that if there isn't more sudden death in
this county the laws either got to give
me a salary or I'm going to perish by
slow starvation. Not that I'd mind that
much for myself, but it cuts me up to
think that as soon as l stepped out the
next Coroner d begin right off to earn a
Twin out of me-"
Then l said "GoOd- morning. and left,
while Mr. Maginn selected fresh stick
to whittle.-Mar Adeler, in Neto York
Weekly.