The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1875-03-18
There 10 = time for Ar
time to leave when . ~
asks you how the walking ID.

4
he "winked at and nudged the girls
at . pirty.
In some parts Of Louisiana. when
girl sets the marriage day she
counts up her ague days, 90 - to
have the ceremony come on the Of
day.
How Isl, good looking girl can meet
her lover in dark hall and almost
instantly discover ~hether he has had
his mustsche shaved of or not?
| An economical farmers daughter in
Massachusetts, put of her wedding
day because eggs were up to forty
cents dozen aud it would take two
dozen for the Wedding cakes and
puddings.
A matter Of fact doctors wife At
tempted to move him by her tears.
"Ah !" said he, ''tears are useless.
| have analyzed them. They con.
tain little phosphate Of lime, some
chlororate of sodium, and water"
And nov comes Boston girl Who
wants the new undergarment to be
called "prima," because it is the first
to be put on. All right; and, more
over, the girl who dons it will be .
prima donner. Detroit Tribune.
A Baltimore young woman skstcd
herself through the ice; but, rs the
water was only four feet deep and
she was FIVE feet long, she stood up
and informed young man of what
had happened, and he courageously
passed her board.
Young ladies' with beautiful pink
ears and lhroats faultless enough to
be copied in alabaster are '.perfectly
Mortified to learn that the poke bon
bonnets of our grand mothers are to
be revived. The old folks are NOV
ing in concert about the matter.
The most momentous question .
woman is ever called upon to deci ie
is, whether the faults Of the man she
loves will drag her down, or wheth-
er she is competent to be his earthly
redeemer.
A young man who had just got his
FIRST love letter remarked to us that
although postmasters and their clerks
received thirteen millions of dollars
per annum, he did not consider they
received half their services were
worth.
Some one sent Delaware man by
express = paving stone weighing
thirty six pounds, and as he opened
the box after paying eleven dollars
charges his voice was heard clear
over in the next county.
"Don't you know that it's four de-
grees below zero? asked . Milwaukee
girl, as she was cutter-riding with
her lover. He took the hint and put
his arm around her.
A sailor passing through . grave
yard saw on one of tho tombstones,
II still live" This was too much for
Jack, who shifting his quid, ejaculs.
ted: "Well, I've heard say there
are cases in which man may lie, but
if was dead I'd own it,"
Mrs. Parting'on is in New York.
She went up from Boston As sooa IS
she learned by telegra,h that gold
was rapidly falling in Wall street but
after several unsuccessful attempts to
get into the shower. is going back =
disappointed woman.
A most worthy man unaccustomed
to public speaking being suddenly
called upon to address = Sunday
school, rose to his feet, and after
vainly struggling fer utterance, 1t
last hoarsely muttered, "Dear chill
dren, don't ever play with powder.
Johnny b., aged FIVE, asked his
father if he knew Why the stars were
made. The father, thinking the lad
had conceived some notion rs to the
use Of the heavenly bodies, said, mo;
do you?" "Yes, it never rains when
the stars shine, so they must have
been made to plug up the holes"
| A young lady pat > lozenge in a
street car fare box yesterday on
which was printed 81 shall never
cease to love thee" The driver said
it was all right rs far as he was con-
cerned, but she must ante with >
nickle to satisfy the Superintendent,
The lady got out At the next cross
ing.
Emerson has been visited BY
Southern lady who was "delighted
with the frilling and futing Of his in
voluted words" This surprises the
Detroit Post, which says that "lsst
year he had his words cut bias, but
with plain borders tastefully folded
back and secured with blue ribbon" !"
A practical child. A lady lately
went to pay her respects to one Of
the latest arrivals on the list of baby
hood, when the following colloquy
took place between her and the little
four-year old sister Of the new conner
"I've come for that baby, now" said
the lady. "You can't have it," was
the reply. "But must; l came over
on purpose" urged the visitor. 1--WE
can't spare it at all, persisted the child
shut I'll get piece of paper and you
can cut pattern"
A newly married couple at Rose
burg, Oregon, we're disturbed on tho
following morning by the appearance
at their chamber door of that ire
pressible mo,her-in-law, who ex-
claimed: "Now, you git up; when
l was married my old man was out in
the field mowin' long afore this time
o day; if you don't get up I'll burn
up your clothesv' "Burn 'em, old
gal; gaul darn 'em, l don't want 'em
agin," exclaimed the groom.
A hog with an artificial leg must
be touching and picturesque object.
The COW catcher at Dunleith took OF
one of the hinder limbs Of Mr.. Smiths
hog, and his benevolent owner made
wooden succedaneum and strapped
, it on the stump. The creature shows
its gratitude by accumulating fat
with great rapidity, the only draw
back being that, when killing and