The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1875-07-28
SsADOut Ice-Cream.'
Detroit Free Press.

Detroit Free Press.
He slipped into an ice-cream sa-
loon very softly, and when the girl
asked him what he wanted, he re-
Piled
"Corn beef. fried potatoes, pickles
and mince pie"
s'This is not a restaurant; this is
an ice-cream parlor," she said.
Then why did you ask me what
I wanted for? Why didn't you
bring on your ice-cream r.
She went after it, and as she re-
turned he continued:
'You see, my dear girl, you must
infer-you must reason. 1t isn't
likely that 1 would come into SD ice
cream parlcr to buy grindst .le, is
it? You didn't think | CINE in
here to ask if you had any baled hay.
did your
She looked at him in great sur
prise, and he went on:
"If owned q hardware store and
You came in, I would infer that you
came for something in my line. /
wouldn't step ont and ask you II
YOU wanted to buy a mule, would
I?'
She went away highly indignant.
An old lady was devouring dish oil
cream at The next table, and the
stranger, after watching her for a
moment, called out:
MY dear woman, have you found
any hairs or buttons in your dish"'
sMercy! nor she exclaimed, as
she wheeled around and dropped heT
spoon.
"Well, I'm glad of it," he continu
ed. eff you find any just let me
know
She looked at him for half a min
ute, picked up the spoon, laid il
down again, and then rose up and
left the room. She must have said
something to the proprietor, for he
came running IN and exclaimed
did You tell that woman that
there were hairs and buttons in my
ice cream p
mo, sir"
you didn't"
mo, sir, did not / merely re
quested her, in case she found any
such ingredients, to inform me J"
"Well, sir, that was a mean trick. .
''My dear SIR said the stranger,
smiling softly, ''did you expect me
to ask the woman if she had found
a crow-bar or sledge-hammer in hel
cream? It is impossible, sir, fol
such articles to be hidden away ii
such small dishes p
The proprietor went away, growl
ing, and as the stranger quietly sup
ped away at his cream two young
ladies came in, sat down near hin
and ordered cream and cakes. He
waited until they had eaten q little
and then he remarked:
"Beg pardon, ladies, but do yo'
observe anything peculiar in tn
taste of this creamP
They tasted, smacked their lips
and were not certain.
s'Does it taste to you as if plui
of tobacco had fallen in the freezer 2
"Ahl kah - they exclaimed. DROP
ping their spoons and trying to spi
out what they had eaten. Bot
rushed out, and it wasn't long befor
the proprietor rushed in.
'sSee here, what in blazes are yo
talking about!'' he demanded
what do you mean by plug Tobacco
in the freezer?'
"My kind friend, / asked til
ladies if this cream tasted of plu
tobaccoo. / don't taste any sue
taste, and l don't believe you use
q bit of tobacco in it p
"Well, you don't want TO talk thu
way around here u continued I'll
proprietor. "My ice-cream is pur
and the man who says isn't tells
bold lie H.
He went away again, and o W
man with long neck and sad fax
sat down and said to the girl TIL
she would take a small dish of lemC
ice.
It was brought, and she had take
about two mouthsful when Il
stranger inquired;
"Excuse me, madam, but do yC
know how this cream was made
have you an idea that they CRATE
turnip and chalk with the cream p
She didn't reply. She slowly 70
up, wheeled around, and made f
the door. The stranger follow
after, and by great good luck b
coat-tails cleared the door an insta
too soon to be struck by fiye-poul
box Of figs, hurled with great for
by the indignant proprietor. As
reached the curb stone he halle
looking at the door Of the parl
and soliloquized:
There are times when Peep
should infer, and there arc tim
when they shouldn't. I suppose i
had asked that woman If she thong
they hashed up a saw-mill in
cream she'd have felt circular 81
going down her throat.
Quite paradoxical remark 81