The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1875-10-14
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
"WALK1N & SEAR'' is the name Of
two female partners in the shirt-making
business at Chicago.
THE Philadelphia Bulletin has an edi-
tsrial headed !" Respecting Cranber-
ries,'' just as if any one could respect
such sour-dispositioned things.
SHOE dealer-.sI / find that we have
no number twelve shoes, sir; but here
is pair of nines." Customer-'.Nines!
Do yer take me for Cinderellere"
The Celestial of the Pacific slope is
an adept at producing light ten-penny
pieces. The Chinese is like us, evi--
IDENTIFY, in his system of weights, at least
so far as having no scruples about his
pennyweights goes.
Z A MAN was recently found dead in
Rhode Island with three pairs OF trous-
ers on. There is reason to believe that
he had succumbed at the end OF q de-
termined struggle to prevent his wife
from wearing the breeches.
THE boy tied newspaper to the cats
tail, set it on fire, and turned it loose.
The cat run into the house and under
his mothers bed, set it afir'e, burned up
$40 worth of things, and now that boy
is going around sideways telling other
boys his mother can't take a joke worth
cent. ,e
PROBABLY the worst possible termin-
alton of pleasant paragraph ever
heard of appears in the Youngstown
(Ohio) Tribune, where it remarks that
"Col. Sargent Of the Governors staff "
has been ssconnected with the Cincin-
natl Inquirer for 18 years and is gem
tleman to boot
s"I'vE been through that wicket,
Charley.n .sI don't think you have,
sweetmeats. - q Indeed, have" No,
YOU haven't 81 did, 'You didn't !;
and then mallet sails over the fence,
and a pull-back twitches furiously over
the green sward and disappears into the
house, and every thing is as quiet with
out as though peace were the sovereign
power on earth.
AwEL-KNowN Alderman gave dis
play of his great literary ability at the
Mansion House banquet. He was asked
by a lady the meaning of the initials s.
P. @. r. on the standards borne by the
soldiers in one of the pictures on the
wall. His answer: 81 believe they
stand for Small Profits and Quick Re
turns.n What would the "Senatus
Populusque Romanus' have thought o.
such barbaric intelligence?- Lo'ado'
Hornet.
| A LITTLE boy wanted to borrow hi!
aunt's dog for a moment, and asket
| her to let him have piece of string, 81
he could lead him. "What are you 60
ling to do with him?' said the goot
lady. The boy hesitated for moment
and then said: "Well, you see, a bo..
round the corner bet me his dog was
larger dog than yours "Well," SAT-
the aunt, "suppose it-turns out that hi
dog is the larger one?" I" Then," sal
the nephew, s'you'll lose your dog"
THE other day as a Detroit under
taker was walking along, accompanie
by his son, he took off his hat and mad
low bow to an oldish man whom the
saw across the street. Father, VIII
do you take off your hat to such an ol
codgerp" inquired the SON. !" My soI
that man has ten children, some {
whom will die before the summer
out, and he pays cash down for ever
: thing" answered the father.-Frt
Pres".
5 YESTERDAY an auburn-haired lad {
ten summers living on Beech Street g
7 down the big silver castor during b
| mothers temporary absence, and as B
rolled it back and forth across the kitcl
en- he sang: Dearest mother, thou ha'
left u.s." He hadn't been playing
great while before she came in, an
what happened may be judged from tt
: expression he used as he sat down in tt
: weeds behind the woodshed, VIZ: ct
tear her Sunday bonnet up to pay Il
lthat!''-Free Press.
/