Smyrna times., 1875-05-12
WHOLE NO. 1,O4G.

Whatever you have To say, my friend
Whether witty, grave, orgay.
'"ir'rise II as much as ever You can
And say il III the rcadiest wav
And whether you write Of household affairs
Or particular things in town
Just take a word of friendly advice
Boil it down.
When Wr,in" article for the press
Whether prose or vcrsc. justtrv
To utter Your thoughts in the fcycst words
And let them be crisp and dry;
And when il is finished and you sul,posr
II Is done exactly brown
Just look it over again. and then
Boil it DOWN
Ihe following letter was received at tho
Executive mansion the othrrday:
l II~Sca ). Grant-IIOn. Sir;
y I'm only a farmers daughter.
And You arc a President grand.
II more than likely We shall never meet
Ih!N side Of The Happy Land"
:" ! wish 10 make little request
lis sent with airli,h laugh;
VIII ypn please to favor me, kind Sir
with The Presidents autograph?
,. IDA ELDEIbGE
, 'ANHnlb if, Washington co., Ny.
! She cot it.
P'' You eyer sec that picture grandma?'
'Nk''' It young lady, as they took a view Of
the family portrait gallery.
$50 1t = Why it~ 4 portrait Of myself
whcn ! was seventeen"
Il thought YOU had forgotten it. or Won
WoiiIdh / he always lrcturing u, Girl, oLou+
modc-ty in dress.
Gl"nIlna looked over her ,ncctacIes and
declared the girls nowadays were very
/ lnI"Itln~nt to their elders.
"o gracious. nor exclaimed Mrs Mar.
r"wi',t 70 Mr.. Quoggs, raising her hands
ami Speaking in a very excited tone. ..Sba
wa 50 III when her new bonnet came homo
th"t sh" couldn't ct up; but, dear sakcs
''ii"' that didn't matter nothing. for She
Just put her hat ON. and Law with her Lcad
out OF the window the whole afternoon"
""o away! Leave me with my dead
Let IN" fling myself on his coffin and dio
thvlr. That was in Nebraska six months
ago and now the widow has won another
trusting soul, and number one, ,ort,ait i
IN the attic face to the waII.-H, trait Eo,.
Pr>s.
IT j. simply absurd 10 talk about a woman
being qualified 10 fill every POSITION in Iifa
that man fll- For instance. wLatwoman
could lounge around the stove in a coDnt,v
grocery and lie about the number Of fishes
sh" caught last -NIrauk,,N,r.
Machinery has reached a great stato of
pfrfectl"n An exchange remarks: we
recently saw some burnt peas rut into tho
h"li"r Of " coiioo-mill. and in les, ,han TWO
minutes they We're occupying place in a
grocery window. labelled Fine Old Mocha"
Mis- Eastman Of Boston speaks Of ..eyo.
a. 'ilsHt Is IHtton~ on an angels under.
clothing. 1t i a startling comparison. and
the melancholy part of it is the suggestion
that We fellows have got to be troubled viii,
buttons over there as well as over hero
~<s--
"Why, Ichabod, ! thought YOU cot mar.
led morcn year ago" We'll. Vnnt
lerlNh' II was talked of. but | found o,t
that tn" girl and all her folks were o,nosod
to H. and 50 Just gave EN- all the milton
md let the thing drop.
The ghost of Noah Webster came 70
spiritual medium in Alabama. not LONG
ln''- and wrote on a slip of paper: 1T is
lte times. Noah was right, but we are
'iry to sec he has gone back on his diction.
ny.
Tn" ~addc>t thing in life is the spectacle
iiordrd Icy Young person who has b,rrt
III l''r halr OFF her torchcrd with hot slate
''nciI and cannot afford To buy row Of
urls.
GIVE your son a good education and
rttIed purpose in life, and when he is =
han II" Will not br content to sit back of =
rocery stove and crack his tingcr-ioints.
There Is said 10 bc but one divorce in
MgIand to every ten in America. Comnor.
lively few English people marry for fun, #
ouId sccm.-LoG~rtHt Co,rier..Journal
y Mississippi man puts it thus at
le earnest solicitation of those to whom
We money have consented to become a
'ndldate for County Treasurer"
II Is noted that all great humorists arc
der and s'date, with y melancholy castof
'unt"nancc. 1t is rather serious 70 bo
my.