The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1875-07-20
from the Detroit Free Press
His Homer and BijaE-An Hour at the
Central station Court.

Biiih was telling the reporters about an
uncle of bis VINO shook bands with George
Washington when be suddenly observed a
blue-boitle tlr on the window. lie crept
over and got the broom, but the fly LETT the
window for the ceiling.
"Wait now. ard Fil break every bone IN
his bpdy!" whispered the old man.
He drew the broom back. wnirled IL
around and made an awful blow. bis
Honor stepped iuto the door at the instant,
and his new silk hat was enorked sky-h'gh.
Biian Jumped for the fly as bis Honor Jumped
for the hat, aud while the fly escaped the
ha.-Well. it wa. sad hat TO see. II was
fiat hat, and broken ard bent, and his
uonor's feelings were too deep for utteTance
~ he picked it mp and placed it on CHAIR.
He looked at b jah.
Ejab looked al be hat.
wretch :" be finally said, 81 want TO see
YOU down behind the saw.mill alter court
cio>es.'
Il wouldn't have done it for no mans
eleven cents !" whispered BJih to himself
rs be made rcafy to open court.
BAD ACCIDENT.
ARENAS Clark lmpcd horrible limp as
he came out OF the corridor, and his lace
was purkered up until one would have inn
ayii ed that he had swallowed curry com b
or IL b,li of yarn.
"Well, sir:" sharply inquired the court.
Wall, Ill tell you how 1t VAS" replied
Clark, II was going down Bates street.
when | trod on au orange peeling and ieil.''
"Ponh!" exclaimed his HoAor.
I'D Dn't you beIiere me?'
"No, sir. DON'T"
'.Tm telling the solemn truth, am. J.
fell. almost broke my leg. nearly broke my
back. hurt my hip. and was calling Tor help
when the officer arrested TIE.
"See here. Clark, how many times have
sent you up?"
Twice, guess"
-Four times, as the bird fl ;es, and you told
that story every time! Do you Imagine that
because I'm fat and bald.headed have nc
memory"
81 want to 60 to California" said the pri'
soner, suddenly changing the subject.
You are betty specimen 10 20 travelling,
you are Pli lake care Of YOU, my grail
Your sentence is sixty days."
SOME TEARS.
COW owl" Sobbed Mrs. Mills, as she
faced the desk, how can ever live through
thiS!"
DO you feel bad?" asked the Court, as
he hunted through his pockets for harvest.
apple.
"Oh yes, Sir-ob, sir--der sir oh oh 1! "
"B,jah, you may 20 10 and prepare some
camphor and water, aud Il muslard-piaster,'
observed the Court.
6 lie needn't he shan'l !" she exclaimed,
"i's my feeling, my heart winch feels
bad :"
"ABd l have no doubt. Mrs. Mills, that
YOU will stand right there in your tracks
and tell me that you ddn't run after Mrs.
Thompson on the street and tear her bonnet
OLA bonnet which cost her six dollars, and
hadn't patch on it,"
81 won't le-no, won't--I did tear her
bonnet off,"
You did?"
IL did; out what did she do to M: She
leaned over my gate, shook her fist like that
stuck up her nose just so, aud says she
Mrs. Mills, how IL any cow-hides did it TAKE
to lake your shoeS?' Would stand that
your Honor?"
"G's tuff-it's tutf," mu:ed the court
" hut YOU ought to bear and forbear. That
Free Press man attacks Bljah'S feet once 8
month all the year round, but B,jah fOrgives
him. People have hurled slurs at my feel
time and again. but never talk back. I
shall have to fine you five dollars, Mrs.
Mills"
She had the cash. aud she handed it over,
walked out, and remarked to Il small boy ut
the door:
:" I'm one who Is going to stand up for my
feet If | never have money enough TO bur
another pair of embroidered silk stockings -
''Aud I'll plank money on you every time"
replied the admiring boy.
RESPECTABLE MAN.
Willism Tyler wanted to be tried ia the
corridor where no one could see him, and
when induced to face the audience he tried
TO &c. to the desk to whisper to the court.
"S,and back. keep On the mark, MIR.
Tyler" said his Honor.
"Pm respectable person." whispered
the rris0ns-.
- Well, that's all right; We'll do gust as
well by you Tor all that. You were found
lying on the walk, drunk as s. pirate xud
ugly as preacher With u boil on his leg
YES ah-permit me-ab," stammered
The ,nan.
"fll permit you, alb, Of course. If you
haHe snythingto say, speak right up.7
Oh stranger here" whispered the
man."
II can't help that shan't fine you any
,hln@ more than | would a permanent resi-
Dent"
!---ah-I took glass, ah."
And Ii was'too much, uh?"
Is ies--ah."
Wei, ah, | suppose that none of us are