Middletown transcript., 1875-02-27
A,llltorous,
How the Boys Served Mr.. Brasser.

3 avenue. has a son about twelve years
old named Claudius. and the other
evening this boy received permission to
: allow neighbor's boy to stay all night
: with him. The old people sleep down
stairs in the sitting room, and the boys
were put into room directly above.
When they went up to bed, Claudius
. had the clothes-liue under his coat,
and the neighbours boy had mask in
his pocket They didn't kneel down
and say their prayers like good boys
! and then jump into bed and tell bear
stories, but as soon as the door was
locked the Brasser boy remarked:
"You'll see more fun around here
tonight than would lie on ten-acre
lot
From closet they brought cast-off
suit Of Brasser's clothes, stuffed them,
with whatever came handy, tied the
mask and an old straw hat on for a
head, and while one boy was carefully
raising the window the other was tying
the clothes line around the "man."
The image was lowered down in front
Of the sitting-room window. lifted up
and down once or twice. and old Bras
ser was heard to leap out of the bed
with a great jar. He was just begin
ming to doze when he heard sounds un-
der his window, and his wife suggested
that il was COW in the yard. he got
up, pulled the curtain away, and as be
beheld man standing there he shouted
out:
"Great bottles! but it's robber J"
and be jumped into bed.
Theodorius Brasser, are you a
foolv' screamed the wife as he monop-
olized all the bed clothes to cover up
his head
"Be quiet, you old jade, yeu!" be
whispered; perhaps he'll 60 sway"
"Don't you call me jads!" she re-
piled, reaching over and trying to find
his hair. "Git up and git the gun and
blow his head off,"
ooh! you do it!'
"Git up, you old coward" she snap
ped, "I'll never live with you another
day if you don't do IL" i
Brasser turned up the lamp, sat up |
in the bed, and cried out:
SIS that you, boys?"
"Merey on me! git up!'' yelled the
wife as the straw man was knocked |
against the window.
"I'll blow his head off as clean as
milk !" said Rrasser in loud voice as
be got up. He struck the stove three
or four times, upset chair and reach
ed behind the foot of the bed and drew
out an old army musket.
"Now, then, for blood!" he contin-
usd as be advanced to the window and
lifted the curtain.
The man was there, face close to the
glass, and be had such a malignant ex-
preston Of countenance that Brasser
jumped back with cry Of alarm.
"Kill him! Shoot him down, you
old noodlehead !" screamed the wife.
II will-by thunder! l Wilt" re-
piled Brasser, and be blazed away and
tore out nearly all the lower sash
The boys up stairs uttered yell and
groan, and Brasser jumped for the
window to see if the man was down.
He wasn't. He stood right there, and
be made leap at Brasser |
Hes coming in-perlice-boys-
ho, perlice T. roared the old man.
The tattered curtain permitted Mrs.
Brasser to catch sight of man jump
ing up and down, and she yelled:
"Theodorius, I'm going to faint"
Faint and be d-d-boys-per-
lice y be replied, wolloping the sheet
iron stove with the poker.
Don't you dare talk that way to
mel" shrieked the old woman, recov-
ering from her desire to faint.
"Po-leece! Po-leece !I' now came
from the boys up stairs, and while one
continued to shout the other drew the
man up, tore him limb for limb and
seereted the pieces.
Several neighbors were aroused. an
officer came up from the station, and
search Of the premises were made. Not
so much as track in the snow was
found, and the officer put on an injured
look and said to Mr.. Brasser:
IA guilty conscience needs no accu-
SER"
.That's SO .' chorused the indignant
neighbors as they departed.
As Mr.. Brasser hung quilt before
the shattered window he remarked to
bis wife:
"Now see what an old condurango
you made Of yeurself!'
Don't fling any insults at me. or
I'll choke the attenuated life out of
you!" she replied.
And the boys kicked around on the
bed, chucked each other in the ribs
and cried:
era rather he a hov than he Presi.