The Ottawa free trader., 1875-07-24
BuEET OF FUN.
ARRUsTISG THE WRONG MAN.
How a Preacher Was Mistaken for Il Prize
Fighter.
From tie Noo YORK Wesh'Jl

From tie Erc YORK IVok2yl
Over in w. one of the churches recently
called a clergyman named Rev. Jos. Striker.
In that city, by a most unfortunate colncl'
dence, there also resides prominent prize
fighter named Joseph Striker, and rumors
were atoat few weeks ago that the latter
Joseph was about to engage in contest with
Jersey pugllst for the championship: Oar
sheriff considered il his duty to warn Joseph
against the proposed infraction of the laws,
and so he determined TO call upon the pro-
fessor of the art Of selfdefense. Unhappily,
in inquiring tor the pugiiisrs house, some
body sent him to the residence OF the KEY
Jos. Striker, of whom he had never heard
When Mr. Striker entered the room, IN an
sWer 10 the summons, the sheriff SAID 70 hiiA
familiarly:
Hello, Joe, how are you?"
MI Striker was amazed at this address, ou'
he politely said
Good morning"
Joe" said the sheriff, throwing his leg laz
lily over the arm Of his chair II came rouhu
here to see YOU about that mill with fatsey
DIngus that they're all talking about, /
want YOU TO understand that 1t can't come on
anywhere around here. You know we'll
enough it's against the law, and l aint gong
20 lave it," w,
mean?r asked Mr.. Striker, in astonishment
II do not own any mill, sir. Against the
law! | do not understand you, sir"
Now see here, joe" said the sheriff, bit
ing a piece of tobacco, and looking very
wise, that wont 60 down with me. It's pret-
ty thin, you know. / know well enough that
you've put up $1,000 on that little affair, and
that you've got the whole thing fixed with
Bill Martin as referee. | know you're going
ing down to Pea Patch Island to have 1t out,
tS> Of
sure as a gun if you try it on, now mind me"
Really, slr,'' said Mr.. Striker, there must
be some mistake about -
"Oh, no, there isn't. Your name is Joe
Striker, isn't t?r asked the sheriff.
MY name Is Joseph Striker, certainly"
II know it." said the sheriff, splitting on
the carpet, "and you see Iye got this thing
dead to rights 1t sha'n't come off, and I'm
doing YOU a favor in blocking the game, be-
cause 'Patseyd curl you all up and slcken
you anyway if let you meet him. know
he's the best man, and you'd just lose your
money and get all bunged up besides; SO you
take my advice, now, and quit. You'll be
sorry if you don't
Il do not know what you are referring to,
said Mr. Striker. Your remarks are incOm-
prchensiblc to me- but you tone is very often
sive, and If you have any business with me,
I'd thank you to state ii at once"
Joe" said the sheriff, looking at him with
benign smile, "you play it pretty well. Any
body'd think you were innocent as lamp.
But it won't work Joseph; it won't work, |
tell you. I've got duty to perform and I'm
going to do it, and pledge you my word if
you and Dingus don't knock Oft now, I'll
grab you and send you up for ten years as
sure as death I'm in earnest about IT."
What do you mean, sir?" asked Mr.. StrIk'
er, fiercely
"Oh, don't you 90 to putting on any airs
about it, Don't you try any strutting before
me" said the sheriff, "or I'll put you under
bail this very afternoon. Let's see, how long
were YOU in Jail the last time? Two years
wasn't it? Well, you go fighting with Din.
gus and you'll get ten years sure!n
you are certainly crazy exclaimed MI
Striker
Il don't see what you want to stay at that
business for anyhow SAID the sheriff
Here you are, in snsg home, where you
might live in peace, and keep respectable
But no, you must associate with low charac.
ters, and go to stripping yourself naked, and
jumping into a ring to get your, nose blood
led, and your head swelled and body ham
nered to jelly, and all for what? Why,
for championship! Its ridiculous What
gOod'll it do you if you are champion
Why don't you try to be honest and decent
and let prize-ighting alone?'
This is the most extraordinary converse
ton l ever listened to-" said Mr.. Striker
"You evidently take me for "a"
81 take you for Joe Striker, and if you
keep on III take you to JAIL" said the sher.
If, with emphasis. Nov tell me who's got
those stakes, and III put an end to the whole
thing"
you seem to imagine I'm pugilist" said
Mr.. Striker. Let me inform you that | am
a clerryman.'
"Joe,'' said the sheriff, shaking his head
"it's too bad for you to lie in that way-too
bad, indeed"
"But an clergyman, sir-pastor of the
Church of St. Sepulchre. Look! here is a
letter in my pocket addressed to me-"
you don't really mean to say that you're
preacher named Joseph Striker" eXclaim
the sheriff, looking scared.
Certainly, | am. Come up stairs and III
show you.a barreful Of my sermons"
well, if this don't beat Nebuchadnezzarr y
said the sheriff; this is awful. Why, | mis-
took you for Joe Striker, the prize,dghter
don't know how | ever-a preacher. Wha
an ass I've made of myself! | don't know
how to apologize, but if you want to kick mt
down the front steps, kick away. III bear i
like an angel"
Then the sheriff withdrew unklckcd, ant
Mr.. Striker went up stairs TO finish MS Sun
day sermon. The sheriff talked OF resigning
but he continues 10 hold on.
An old gentleman of great experience say
he is never satisfied that a lady understand
kiss until he has it from her own mouth.