Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1875-02-18
Aumuruns department.
THAT LIGHTNING ROD AGENT. AGAIN.

THAT LIGHTNING ROD AGENT, AGAIN.
The man who put up the lightning rods il
the court house, in a neighboring village
thinking it was a private residence, has 60
into another scrape, and this time on accoun
Of lying. Here is the adventure:
keyser had lightning rods placed upon hi
barn three or four years ago but during las
summer the building was struck by lightning
and burned. When he got the new barn done
a man came around with red wagon, anc
wanted to sell him a set of Bolt & Burnam ,.
patent lightning rods.
Il believe not" said Keyser; 81 had rods OF
the barn at the time of the"
II know exclaimed the agent. II know
you had, and very likely that's the reason you
were struck. Nothin's more likely to attract
lightnin' than worthless rods"
"How do you know they were worthless p
"Why, was drivin' by yer in the Spring
and seen them rods, and says to myself
that 5arn'll be struck some time, but there's
no use in tryin' to convince Mr. Keyser; so
didn't call. knowed it because they had iron
tips. A rod with iron tips is no better'n a
clothes prop to ward off lig ghtnin."
"The man who sold them to me said they
had platinum tips" remarked Keyser
"Ah this is a wicked world, Mr.. Keyser
You can't be too cautious. Some of these yer
agents lie like gas meter. It's awful, sir
They are wholly untrustworthy. Them rods
was the most ridicklus sham ever seed. A
regular gouge. They want worth the labor
it took to put 'em up. They want now that's
the honest truth"
"What kind do you ofer?"
"Well, sir, I've got the only genuine light
MIN rods that's made. It's constructed on
scientific principles. Professor Huxley says
it's sure to run off the electric fluid every time.
Twisted charcoal iron, glass insulator, eight
points on each rod, warranted solid platinum.
We give written guarantee with each rod.
Never had house struck since we began to
offer this rod to the public. Positive fact.
The lightenin'll play all around house with
one of 'em and never touch it. A thunder
storm that would tear the bowels out of the
American continent, would leave your house
as safe as polar bear in the middle of an
iceberg. Shall [ run you one up?"
81 don't know" said Keyser, musingly.
"lll put you up one cheap, and then you
no discount on"
ou say tne OLD rOd was fraud Z!
'The deadliest fraud you ever heard of. 1t
hadn't an ounce of platinum within mile of
it. The man that sold it ought to be prosecu-
ted, and the fellow that put it up without in
sulators should be shot. It's too bad the farm
ers should be gouged in this sort of way"
"And Bolt & Burnam's rod is not fraud %
"a fraud? Why, really, my dear sir, just
cast your eye over Professor Huxley's letter
and these certificates, and remember that we
give s0rstten guarantee-a positive protection,
of course
"Just cast your eye over that" said Keyser,
handing him piece Of paper.
"Well, upon my word! This is indeed some
what-that is to say it is, as it were-t looks,
it looks little like one of our own certi6-
catesw
"Just so," said Keyser. "That old rod was
one of Bolt & Burnam's. You sold it to my
son-in-law; you gave this certificate; you
swore the points were platinum, and your. man
put it up."
"Then suppose we can't trade?'
"Well, should think moi" said Keyser.
Whereupon the man mounted the red wagon
and moved on.