The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-08-06
The Boy at the Soda Fountain.

'"'S lilC SGOlC IL was III NCdll
er, and the soda fountain looked so tempt
ing that she conquered her avarice and
walked over and told the boy that she
would take = glass.
DO you wish to have a fly in it," he
inquired in a whisper.
"a fly? erasmus, no !" she replied, a
look OF disgust on her face.
just as you say. madam" he went on
As he drew some lemon strip. People
are so different in tastes, you know. Some
object TO flies and some don't. I'll mix
some pineapple sirup with this lemon and
now will you have Il great deal of gas and
a little water, or a great deal OF water and
a little gas?"
I'm purity thirsty she said.
We'll, then you want more water than
gas, and there won't be so much danger
of an explosion"
Explosion 20 she queried.
THAT was the word, madam. We have
had but few such accidents here this sum-
mer, and l truly hope that we may have
no more
Does soda wafer blow up fOlks?"
That depends on the state of their
health. Some could stand here and
drink all day, while others might get
the glass tipped up this way, and boom .
they'd go"
Bust ."
"Yes'm-fly into a thousand pieces.
You never saw a human being explode.
did yOu?"
Mercy, no."
well. you don't have the least WARM
ing. They may be laughing or talking,
and all at once the store is filled with false
hair, monogram carriers, bustles, cOrSetS,
feet, teeth, and rolled plate jewelry. Ii
makes a great muSS around here, and if
we hadn't three of the smarteSt negroes
in town TO pick up and sweep out, we'd
have to shut up the store for a whole at
ternOOn after All explosion"
He stood with the glass in his hand
agitating the sirup and waiting, and she
said:
Il didn't suppose it was dangerous
stuff"
"Well, as told you. it depends OF the
state of the system. If yOur liveri is torpid
and your digestion impaired, N glass of
soda water would blow you higher than
GilderOy's kite, and the coroner would be
lucky to find as much as your SpectacleS
to hold an inquest on. If your system is
all right, you might drink hundred glasses
and feel no disastrous effects. Now, then.
you'll have Il good deal of water and but
little gas, en-"
She made a deprecatory motion and
asked:
FLOWS the stuff made? ~
Well, | can't 90 Oh and explain ali the
process. There's marble dust. acid, gas.
sugar-cOated pills. giant powder, cologne
water and kerosene all mixed together
and then distilled. The distilled liquid is
placed in aretOrt. where a chemical action
separates it, and the gas forces it up sepa-
rate pipes"
kerosene and pills ~ she gasped.
That's what | said, madam. YOulook
innocent and honest, and | hope you Won't
say any thing about it. | tend this foun-
tain in order to supports widowed mother
and seven fathcrless children. If you
should say any thing I'd be discharged,
and if | were discharged | should commit
suicide. You'll have plenty of water,
eh?"
No, sir, l won't" she replied. "DO
YOU suppose I'd drink acids andkcrosene"
Not in their crude state, madam, but
this process ---"
Il don't care for the prOccSs!' she
snapped; Il wouldn't touch the stuff"
alt is a mild beverage, madam, and the
doc"
"Wcli, l don't want any. When / go to
swallering tar and lard and Kerosene you'll
know it! S'posen l drank some and ex-
.ploded."
Don't mention it," he VIII ispered
Don't speak Of it,"
Pm sorry for you, young man, but
there's q constable living right in sight of
our house. and | think -"
You'll drive me to a suicides grave,
you meant
She lowered her spectacles, took a long
look at him, and went u without reply
ins.-Detroit Free Press.
DIR. LOVE, physician at the City Dis
pensary, St. Louis, is AZ unconscious pun
stcr. Yesterday afternoon a woman
rushed into the eXamining-rOOm at the
City-halI, dragging a little girl by the
hand, and apparently under great mental
strain. Without waiting her turn with
the regular batch Of applicants, she began:
"Oh, Doctor Doctor. what shall | do?
My child has swallO ed anickel,"' "Swal-
lowed a nickel, hey?" "Yes, oh, yes"
responded the mother in an agony of de-