River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1875-08-20
COMFORT FOR CRIPPLEs.
From The Minneapolis Tribune.J


the state, now testing the utility and
comforts of crutches, submits the follow.
ing scrap Of personal history, wich may
prove valuable to others similarly Attic.
ted. lie says:
My name is Jones. il is very common
name, of my father and also of nv moth.
er after her marriage, and as have new.
re, by word or deed, dishonored that
name, | have concluded to retain it. By
the way, have theory in regard to the
name Of Jones, which will account for
the great number Of Jones. In the early
ages of the world, everybody was named
Jones, but when one dishonored thenam
he was kicked out Of his family, and as.
sumsd some other cognomen. By this
means the world has become acquainted
with the Smiths, Browns, Milers, Halls,
Greens, &C., &c.
A few weeks since II was unfortunate
enough to meet with a very severe acct
dent, by which had my ankle sprained,
and was compelled to borrow pair of
crutches. On my appearance on the
street was accosted by Brown, who de.
sired to know what l was doing with
crutches To which | replied by giving
him an accurate account of my misfor.
tune. Brown says, Are you sure it is
not gout!" perfectly So" ] replied.
"Gout comes on slowly, sprains suddenly,
and am painfully aware If the moment
Of its occurrence ''Now my dear friend
you must take good care of yourself or
YOU will be on crutches for many months.
My grandmother S aunt sprained her
ankle once, and she had to use crutches
all the days of her life, and she lived to
be niaety.seveu years old. One thing |
would have you understand, NY dear
Jones. that sprains are dangerous things,
but if you will battle your foot in warm
water and not use it, you may be able to
bear your weight upon it, in six months"
Next came Miller, and to him | related
all that had happened to me, whereupon
he recommended lie to use cold water
and exercise as much as possible. Exer.
else was the best cure known to him. On
the first day made my appearance upon
the streets explained the cause of my
lameneSs to over two hundred persons,
all Of whom knew exactly the best reme-
dy and gave me the benefit Of their adj
wee, and that without charge. On the
second Gay about the same number asked
the cause and extent Of the accident. In
answer to the usual question, "What la
the world is the matter with you, Jones r.
proposed by Green, replied, possibly
compound copminuted-" "Yes, YES,
one bit me when was boy, and | was
on crutches for nine months. Vinegar
and salt viii xii. the pizen.n Next | en-.
cOuntered Smith, or rather Smith en-
eountered me. Everybody knows a
Smith, hut this Smith was distinguished
from all ether Smiths by the prefix John.
Yes, John Smith. To him | related ali
my troubles. like Smith, for he sym
pathized with me, or at least he said he
did, and that it panied him greatly to see
a man so thin, lean, lank and cadaverous
as myself on crutches. Well, John
Smith had been unfortur ate in early life,
had sprained his ankle, and was laid mp
for months. Nothing did him so much
good as bread and milk poultice taken
internally.
Another friend came down from St.
it gave me the benefit Of the following re-
mark:
II have been on crutches from a sprain-
ed ankle for twenty years, and Mt no PEE
riod of shat time has my ankle looked as
badly as yours does at this very mo.
ment."
Three weeks have rolled by and in that
time | have explained the calse Of the
accident to l,763 persons. | have had
l,163 cures prescribed, all differing from
each other. Yesterday a friend recon.
mended rattlesnake's oil visited all
the drug stores in the city in search of
rattlesnake oil, found nothing nearer it
than McLean's Nermiluge-of this took
two bolt es-one internally and one ex-
ternally, but cannot say how | shall
worm out Of it. just at this moment
Aliens Ulcerine Salve has been recon-
mended and ! shall use il unless another
remedy is suggested before my servant
gets back from the drug store.
Now am thankful for the sympathy
of my friends, and do not wish TO under
rate it, but is there a profession in the
whole range Of thought about which so
many men have superficial knowledge
as surgery and medicine? II matters
not what disease man has, every one he
meets has Il remedy plain, cheap, and
just the thing to cure like a charm