Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1875-05-22
A wAgGIsH SHERIFF.

Once upon time, o long while ago,
Of course, there lived in the north Of
England, in the county of York, wag
of sheriff by the name of Merrimen,
who had not the terror Of grim-visaged
law before his eyes, but dared to exer-
else his sportive ingenuity even in the
discharge of the high and solemn duties
of his Office. At the Easter term of the
Court of Common Pleas, in the year
1855, he caused to be impanneled a jury
made mp of the leanest men in his
shrievality. Such long, lean, lank,
cadaverous, skeleton-like jury was never
assembled before in any hall OF justice.
Each mans physiognomy was made
up of two enormous, watery, melan-
choly eyes, huge nose, two greatcheek
bones, and wide mouth. Each man
looked like a sitting shadow-an en-
bodied Cassius. There was ample room
in the jury box. Ha3
Such a lnournfnl, gloomy set of men
never before was got together. 1t
seemed like court of death with a
jury OF spectres. Not smile was seen
on all that session. At the next term
of court this waggish sheriff tried his
maiden hand in another way. On this
occasion he summoned jury composed
of the fattest men in all that region.
Each juror was rival of Fallstaif.
Chairs of extra size had to be provided.
Each of the twelve intelligent citizens
had enormous fat heavy cheeks, little
laughing eyes, and each had to elevate
his head over q small-sized mountainous
waistcoat in order to observe the pro-
ceedings. Such a rotund, fat, heavy,
happy. jolly jury was never seen or
heard OF.
After being locked up in the lobby
thirty-six hours without anything to eat
they came into the court smiling.
Their pleasant appearance had much to
do in mitigating the wrath and anger
and asperities of the opposing counsel.
This sheriff was o strangely ordered
mind, however, capped the climax of
his official fame, especially as leading
sheriff in the role of summoning juries,
by assembling at the Michaelmas term,
twelve of the most cross-eyed, squint-
eyed men in the county. What roar
Ok luuppt6T WcuL up iiOLi tuC
the bar, when the twelve men, tried and
true, though with croaked sight were
assembled. But what matters o little
obiiquity Of sisions. As the doGgihs.y
hero of New Orleans says, Better the
twist in the eye than the twist in the
heart They were modest, retiring,
bashful set of men at first, but soon
acquired confidence, and were able to
face the lawyers with equanimity.
One follower of Coke remarked very
truly to another that " it was very diff
ficult to decide which juror you were
talking to when you summed up. be-
cause the foci of the twelve pairs of
eyes, from the foreman to the twelfth
juror, swept through circle Of about
one hundred and eighty degrees, as the
axis Of the left eye of the foreman made
q sperical right angle with the other
eye, and the axis of the right eye of the
twelfth Juror made some sort of an OBJ
lique angle with the axis OF the left eye,
to say nothing of the confusion engen-
dered by the squint-eyed eyes, This
sheriff, history informs US, retired from
the Office early, and it is to be presumed
lived happily ever afterward upon the
memory OF his three exploits.