davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28
THE CROSS.

The finding of the ros took place in
the year 326, during the twenty-first
year of Pope Sylvester's pontificate, and
the first after the Council of Nice. Much
stress is laid by many OF the fact that
Eusebius, the ecclesiastical historian,
omits all mention of it in his history.
But Montfaucon shows that he elsewhere
alludes to it. The Sd of May was set
apart for the festival ; either in COM
memoration of the vision of the cross
which appeared to Constantine, or of
the dedication of the Church of the
Holy Cross in Rome.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28
CHARLES LESTER.
"PERSONIL."

4 New York correspondent of the St.
Louis Globe has lately made some rich
and racy developments in the domain of
advertising. Inserting i'll a New York
paper a "personal," requesting CORE
spondence of ladies under forty with a
view to matrimony, he received some
thing less than a bushel of replies, which
he had the effrontery and persistence to
follow up until he ascertaincd the char
acter of the applicants. One of these
proved to be a widow Of t~hirty-nine, with
an ample fortune, who really sought an
honorable alliance ; another wasa charm
ing brunette, who had rooms to let,
where the boarder might have easy ac-
cess to the lady's private apartments !; a
third proved to be a gushing Vassar
studentess, about to graduate, whose
father was a rich Western banker. Two
others turned out to be bad altogether !;
the one being DESTROYS of securing a
"catch" with the Charge fortune"
which the correspondent advertised him
self as possessing. The Last Il was a
professional blackmailer, who enticed
the correspondent to a secluded seat in
a gallery of art, and was there confront
ed by the lady's reputed husband, who
threatened an assault and a Infringement,
and was finally induced to desist by a
timely show of a seven-shooter. This
illustrates the class of people who edo
matrimony by advertising, and also
that the practice, though growing, is an
exceedingly dangerous one.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28
MOTHER-IN-LIW

MOthcr-ir-law. Ny lnother-in-law-
Dearest old lady that ever l saw.
Her fingers thrust intO every pie;
Each finger bored by her gimlet eye;
And for everything that amiss doth go,
Tn comforting murmur: Told You So"
MOther-in-law. Ny mother-;n-law-
Dearest old lady that ever l saw,
housing and meddling. and stirring mp strife,
Now with the husband, and row with the wife;
Perennial spring OF a family care
From the day she began our comforts to share.
MOther-in-law. Ny mOthcr-in-law-
Dearest old lady that ever l saw:
And now she says she is going away,
When I've done so much to prolOng her stay.
l gave her Il room on the tOpmost floor,
With a banging shutter and a locklcss door;
Clicked up the chimney FOR her dear sake,
And bought a cross watchdog to keep her awake
Could Il son do more? She couldn't demand it,
And yet the old lady declares she can't stand it.
Motller-in-law. My mOther-in-law-
Dearest old lady that ever | saw.
Coming each Christmas day to dine;
Now you bring joy to this heart of mine,
Which quite wells over with grateful cheer
As 1 think that day only comes once a year
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28
LORE.
/ LYRIC.

~, Tov. g. ..,oe +, me on ,iahtcs+ vino
i,nr ,32v.. ,.aro;ug of the d,wy snriup.
INV - '
al, Toys ~, .y.nt aside. az il in lest
The ola ....aari-rs l had cared for hest.
pl Love. ... ,,ai from me the mantle gray.
Which gentle pa, had round nc wrapped alwav.
AKA "1''' 49, IN At iea'' my """aF" way
% ~ '-, ''' ~ III '"' LII
And babe :. L.uecforth be my daily dress;
o. Low. 60. -. througl. all nv tingling frame
\ glowing warmth / know not how t. name.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28
pERILS OF TIE OCEIT.

The list of ships lost at sea with
the memory of our middle-aged reade;
is long. It's death-roll would be emo
nous. On the President, which sale
out into an unknown fate thirty-fot
years ago, there were 800 people. c.
the Arctic were more than 800. Al
when we mention the names of the fl
or six great ships which have gone dov
within ten years, we recall at once II
details of very great calamities. We G
not here allude to the disasters in viii,
sailing vessels have been lost. The su
of these must be very large. In ado
ton to strong crews, the ships carri
down many who were passengers. B
the loss of life by steamships carryn
great numbers of passengers is til
which must everywhere command atte
ton. 1t is these large sacrifices of b
man life which emphasize the perils
the ocean.-NeW York Times.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28

Then he plunged his hand into his
bosom, and the next instanta letter, with
a red seal, lay in Jessic's lap.
"Tve made you happy, and now I'll
Co." he said. "Fairjohn, L stole that
letter a month ago, off the counter yOn-
der. | knew who wrote it at d glance )"
and then the door closed behind him,
and he was gone.
But Jessie tore open the letter and
never looked after him.
And these were the words she read,
old Fairjohn reading over her shoulder {:
s.ABoARD THE SILVER STAR.-Jessie, darling;
/ don't know what makes me believe that ] shall
find you mine still, after all these years, but
something does.
Five Of us were cast on n desert island
when the SPHINX went down. The two yet
alive were taken off it yesterday i'll skins, with
orr boards to our knees. We must go to Eng
land tirst-then home. Jessie, Jessie, if | do
not find YOU as l left you l shall so mad. Your
husband,
CHARLES LESTER.
And so .Jcssie's letter came at last.
And Us John Fairjohn looked into her
face he saw how angels look in Paradise.
And Job. Job was found drowned in
the Kill the next morning. Jessie never
knew it, perhaps, for she md her boy
were on their way to New York to NEE
the Silver Star when it made port.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28
HIS LETTER.

One r"-aT night, about half-past eight
o'clock, ne train had dashed into Nc
kibhcn's Corners, and the mail had
been delivered at the store and Post
office.
John Fairiohn, the Postmaster, had
opened the bag and counted the letters.
There were, as he made out, Just ten,
and one was larger than the others, and
had 4 red seal and then he had found
that he had left his glasses on the news
paper in he back room, and without his
glasses ne could not read Il line and SO,
of course. he had gone after them, re-
turning 20 find two persons III the store
Farmer Roper and Squire McKibben,
whose ancestors had given name to the
place.
"Wct, amt it," said Mr.. Fairjohn,
n0dding.
Wet o. not, our folks amt going to
do without their groceries, yousee," said
the Squire, "Nail's in, I see. That
train came near running into my truck,
too. Wasn't noticing the flag, and drove
across 3lst in time to save myself. Any
letters Tor mc!"
III see - said Mr.. Fairjohn.
He turned to the little pile OF envcl-
apes, and told them over III his handlike
R deck 81 cards.
Why, there's only nine" he said.
I'm sure | counted right. | counted
ten. and | thought Il had a red seal. |
might rs well give up keeping the office
if Tn going to lose M sense like that.
There wasn't anyone in here while l was
gone, WIS there, Squire"
"Only Roper and l." said the Squire,
land Rop"r's son. But he didn't come
in, did hex"
"No," said old Roper, q don't think
that job came in at all. He Just went
off somewhere"
We'll" said the Postmaster, after
another search, "Well, I must be mis-
taken. Yes, there IS letter for you
your folks, anyw&y-and something for
you, Mr.. Roper. And yoN wouldn'tminl
tossing that in at the Smiths as you
pass"
"Oh, no." said Farmer Roper. "Give
it TO me. That's from Smith that's
elcrking It in New York, [ reckon.
Can't get any Of EN- 10 stay and farm"
~Yuur son job did," said the Squire.
"Oh, my son Job. He'd try the pa
fienee If his namesake," said Farmer
Ropc~. My son Job, BAH
just 1T this moment the door of the
store opened, and there entered at it a
little woman dressed in a cheap calico
and wrapped in a thin and faded shawl.
She looked timidly about the store,
still more timidly at the heap of letters,
aId then, IA an appealing voice like that
Of a frightened child, said:
''Mr. Fairjohn, is there any letter for
ne tins time
The Postmaster, who was a little deaf,
hal turned his head away and did not
know that she had entered, and she came
closer to the counter and the light upon
it before she spoke again. She was a
faded little woman, and her face had
signs of grief written upon it, but she
was neither old nor ugly yet, and there
WIS something in the damp curls cluster
ing under the faded calico hood, and in
abe little round, dimpled chin, absolutely
ehild-like even yet.
SIS there a letter for me this time,
Mr.. Fairiohn 2" she said again ; and this
time the Postmaster looked up.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28
ILEISISTRIES

The dead of winter-Flies.
On change-The weather.
Duty on wines-Several glasses.
A DROP too much-The hangman's.
DOCToR of music-A fiddle ID. d.
MorTo for the married-Ncver dis
pair.
A VERMONT gentleman has recovered
5000 for being hanged in effigy.
HoSEsTY-A w-asher-woman buying a
dozen new pocket-handkerchiefs
"MUsTARD color underclething" is
all the rage To- for mems wear, owing
probably to an impression that it makes
one smart.
The only difference between the moon
and ourself is, she's on her first quarter,
we're on our last.-NarshnU Messenger
THE difference between O fool and q
looking-glass is said to be that the fool
speaks without rejecting, and that the
loOking-glass reflects without speaking.
The Saratoga chap who married a girl
last summer, having fallen in love with
her beautiful complexion, says now that
it was a "skin game"
4 YOUNG man writing to a young lady
whom he had never seen: care your
eyes dark or azure?" And she replied,
"Azure fancy is, l azure YOU"
"Is this the Adams House 2" asked a
stranger of a Bostonian. eyes" was
the reply, "it's Adams House until you
get to the roof then it's - WOr-
cCSter Gazette.
A TEXAS woman has loaned to use
the lasso so deity that she can stand
in the door and haul the hat off the
ightning-rod pedler while he is unfas-
tening the gate.
\ CONTEMPORARY asks: els humps
singular, or are they plural? Both.
When you get mumps on both sides of
your face at once, they are plural, but
they make a person look very singular
NOyrist0wn Herald.
A BOY in San Antonio, Texas, it is re-
ported, put a rainbow-hued Easter egg
in a hens nest, and she fancied she laiG
it herself. She was an old, experienced
matrOn of a hen, but she cackled herseE
to death in fifteen minutes.
WITH a vindictive cruelty toward q |
sister State which is absolutely unpar |
donablc, the Brooklyn Argus says
tThere is not much grief when
fat man dies in Rhode Island, as i
gives the survivors much more room tt
stretch themselves"
SENIOR CASTELAR, gave a party at Mad
rid. Three poets read poetry at him \
and he went into exile next day. Hi
just appreciation of literary merit quail
fies Senior CASTELAR, for a responsible pos
ton at the editorial stone.
Mas. ROSE, of Connecticut, said sh
would hang herself if Rose wasn't hom
at eight o'clock. When he came in a
night she was suspended to q beam, col
and dead, and he rubbed lis hands an
whispered: "There's a woman VIII
couldn't tell a liel"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28

Won want 10 marry me ltG
Tho man brow closer still as he an
suorod.
upoforo ,-o,, ,,.o,o marrio,7 70 Charles
TostorInroa Won WhiIo Won ,rora mar
IIorod Won Authooo+on roors
s;ooo th,4 ,.ossol want dorrD Two loved
Won man mrst bave tbo woman he
Ioros = no oiros his soul for born
Lor,;blo +bo,rb+ -, emil sbo
..u;a.au1n
at oho,Id bova said his life said
Job CT dor,+ want 70 shock Won Rnt
Won DON'T Lnou what # would he to mo
- ba,.o ro, And thor tn do every
thinn how
uT.a n.,, ror,d ct know vo,
wo,,ld"
Tno.o ,orso Then cbo oavo him
bor how'd
uru
~ 81 T
49,. 80
""N
q" 40
o'o'
Il '""'
-
e.
I %
"' 49,,
Ln -
~,
W. Lia .ar1 ;..o1fn
nr - 1.o,- fnon, lie hr,os+ .
~ - aoa1 ..o =
IH, g. mou,on+ onLLi1;t
-h"rrleo It's 'ieS "eI0 ~ D0 h"i
ileo. livery oiio "t
KID" titV now JESSIE he9'oi "oA' Ho
more 10 INC IoStolico 10. ici
pecteo le''er' 'oo W." luiii'nnI5 Il
houSe-i"' lullii'Lio" l VII 'ir0 IN
row the Wedding WAS 10 take place. anu
IL was hlSht again. y llon'ii liotl ti''
hlSht' "len SIG h"o COME iol 'io i"''
time, as every Il thou8ht' through ram
and mud TO MAKE her Sauiy looliSh
query, she was selslole DIT l"Sl-'ery
sensible. one lao ciioSeI 'ne S''''''il'e
instead Oh the Slaoo":
ANA now IT'S We S"io' IL ""' ii6n' "I"
a "etler one IMAM tra' oliel-a'el 'oo'
1or MI. f"rJoih hao cloSeo 'lo stoie'
ana was compouholh8 hlIlSell "h"' 1T
called "mSht-cap II some fragrant
h4uor' ""rih water lemons anu '"S"i'
anu was S"Pplno IL ny INT 0to'e' ""on
there came upon MS ooor a recipe hloch'
ana "hen' Delng repeated lie llearo IT.
thefe staggered LII OUT ol Tie ram ollP-
ping hSure-that OF jessie Lester the
oflde VINO WIS 10 pe Oh Tie hiorro"'
She was trembling with cold' ald as he
led her to the ire she burst INTO a 1ioou
ol Tears.
I'm frightened, sne S*lo' oohie
one oilo"eo me al TIE way L learo
them.
'1ou We no business 10 DE ouI alohe
al h9ht: Salu oio raltJohi' pl''iltiy'
And what ) the matter!
one lookeo up at MN Pl'eo"Slv.
II hou8n thefe "oulo De II le''er'
Salu sile' ore"ni' 'ncre WIS ele'
'ilo"9 'oil'rlie c"lio u ilo anu H'l"'
20 10 lhe once once more. L nave
Wrl'leh' L nave "rltteh' anu 'no"3H'
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28

Ith sN'ho " SNhC - 'hASS J''A
husband left this place. If he's alive
he's a rascal, and you are free of him by
law; but we all know that every MAJ on
board the Sphynx was drowned. SO be
a good wife to Job Roper and forget this
folly. I'll take you home again this
time. Don't come again"
She made no answer, but only tossed
the letters over in her lap, and said:
81 seemed to know it had a red seal"
And as she spoke, old Fairjohn, glanc-
ing at the door, saw a dark shadow there,
saw it grow darker; saw it enter and,
starting up. on his defence, if need be,
recognized Job Roper.
He was very pale, and he took nc
notice of Fairiohn, but crossing the
store, stood beside Jessie Lester.
"You love that man best, even now,"
he said. "You'd rather have found a
letter from him than not though to-mor-
row is our wedding day"
She looked up into his face with a pit
eous glance.
CT never lied to you," said she.
"You know that"
He grew winter still.
Ct told you a man would lose his soul
for such a love as mine," said he. odd
you think those were idle words"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-05-28

ph Love. IL; came to me On ,ishtcst wing
Unc dawr-a- morning of the dcwy spring,
When tic v-ar's earliest lark awokc 10 sing;
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25
THE WORLDS FAIR. 1876.

Columbia, puzzled what She should display
Oftruc home made on her Centennial Dav
Asked Brother Jonathan; he scratched his head.
Whitfield while refectively, and said.
-" Your own invention and own making. too
why any child could tell ye what to do:
Show en- your Civil Service, and explain
How all mems loss is everybody gain;
Sho" your new patent to increase your rents
by paying quarters for collecting cents:
Show your short cut to cure financial ills
By making paper collars current bills;
show your new bleaching process. cheap and brict
10 wit: jury chosen by the thief;
snow your state Legislatures show Your Rings;
Ana challenge Europe to produce such things
As high officials sitting half in sight
To share the plundcr and to fix things right;
If that don't fetch her, why you only need
10 show your latest style in martyrs-Twecd
She'll find it hard TO hide her spiteful tears
1t such advance in one poor hundred years"
J. Il. L., in the Nation.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

A correspondent recently visited Mr..
Sankey in London, who spoke of the popu.
larty OF his songs, and said they could be
heard everywhcre-ins streets and allevs and
all public places. The correspondent thus
describes the close Of the interview:
| arose, thanked Mr.. Sankcv for the
trouble he had taken, and was about to
open the door when l heard a voice-tbc
" "gushing-toned" melody of the street
urchin-singing. We stopped to listen,
each with the same idea in his mind
namely, that even the boys of Clapham
mad learned the emotional hymns of the
new crusade. Clear and nasal, alternately.
as the low or the high notes were reached.
came the cadence of that sweet youna
singer voice. We listened with conHictin0
emotions while he sung:
Just three hundred wives he had.
And surely this must be too bad
For every day he was a dad
The King of the Cannibal Islands
IN silence | approached the door. Mr.
Sankcy bowed me out.
was too full for uttcrance.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

a very tall and shabby-lool<ing man, a
fellow that reminded you of vagrant
letter from font of forty-line paragon
extra condensed, stepped up to one of our
bars, last week, and, after heaving a glass
Of liquor into his long throat, blandly asked
the bartender if he could change a $40 bill
The gentleman informed him that he could
Well said tho tall one, with sigh of
satisfaction, "Tll go out and see if can
find one and he plunged out into the cold
world on his missiOn.-LO,dsrHc Commercial.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

The following were few of the maxims
OF that king gofprinters, Benjamin Franklin :
Trade is the mother of money; be
betorehandwithy your business; spend and be
Tree, but make no waste; prayer and
provonder hinder no journey credit is like
looking-glass, easily broken; he who
looks not before, finds himself behind;
keep thy office and thy office will keep
thee; they can never thrive who spend
their time in beer-houses, and in gaming
houses; God helps them who help them,
selves.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

Concerning hollering" III meeting
Aunt Judy, an old colored woman, said to
one OF her sisters; Tant dc true grace,
honey; Tant de sure glory. You holIerl
too loud When you gifts dc love in your
heart and de lamb in your bosom, You'll
feel as eff you was in that stable in Beth Ioaa,
and de blessed Virgin had lent YOU dc
sleepiE' baby to hold"
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

A shopkeepcr purchased of an Irish.
woman quantity of butter, the Jumps of
which, intended for pounds, he weighed in
the balance and found wanting. "Shure
it's your own fault if they are light" said
Biddy, in reply to the complaints of the
buyer, " it's your own fault, sir, for wasn't
1t with pound of your own soap bought
here myself that l weighed them with?"
The shopkeeper had nothing more to say
on that subject
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

A Maine girl left her clothing in an open
boat and hid herself, and when her parents
were crying and saying if they only had
her back they would obey her slightest
wish, she appeared and said she wanted to
marry George.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

The Count de Grasse was once wounded
IN the knee with a musket-balI. The
doctors cut and hacked and made manv
mcl9ions, when, getting out Of patience
the count asked why they cut him " /
much, "We are seeking" said The
surgeon, " for the ball" "Why did't you
mention that before? l have the bali in
my pocket.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

\ certain young gentleman OF Evanston.
Ind, recently accompanied a young lacy
to train to see her safely started on her
journey. lie carried her railroad ticket IN
his pocket for safety, and found it there.
when he reached home, some hours after
the train left.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

At a spiritual camp meeting held At
Dubuque, Iowa, last week, a mediunistic
response to the question, How long is it
gong to rain? " was: "The clouds keep
pouring out water; and 50 longas the clouds
keep pouring out water it will rain And
then they knew all about it.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

Kingston girls are opposed to Introducing
the letter-carricr system in that city. "The
idea +! says one of them, "of having letters
left at the house! Then VIC can't go to the
post office, and won't have any excuse for
going down town.-R3npc Sentinel.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

1t was Des Moinos couple, and they
climbed steep ladder to the top Of the
new Capitol building. When they we're
ready to descend that ladder he said, "In
go down and steady the ladder" She
replied, " Young man. that ladder is steady
enough you wait here and VIII 20 down
first"
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

A couple of neighbors became so hostile
that they would not speak to each other
but one of them, having been converted at
camp meeting, Oh seeing his former
enemy, held out his hand, saying, How
dye do Kemp? l am humble enough TO
shake hands with dog"
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

A few nights since as a CAinlrnan wa
going up Elizabeth street, Detroit, he
walked against rope which some bad bow
had stretched across the walk. John
fell on his head, rolled over, lost the clca..
81 shlrt IN the gutter, and limped sadly home
Since that night every Chinaman in town.
walks in the middle Of the street and ste,
high, and when asked to explain they
reply, "No come p,fop on this mani"
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

When young man stays so late at the
house of his inamorata that it is found
necessary to repaper the wall to get rid of
his shadow, it is about time for him to tokc
his trunk and washing there.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

How are you, count? ?" said noted war
to spruce-looking specimen Of the genus
snob. Sir!" exclaimed the ind;rra,t
swell, "who are you and why do you call
me count?" Why saw you counting
oysters, lastweel, and supposed YOU where
OF royal blood" Snob vamosed
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

An exchange thinks that Eve must have
been a very unhappy woman. There was
no other woman to pass her on the street
that she might look round and see how
that dress fitted in the back
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

a considerable amount of damage is
being done in California by millions of
squirrels, which abound and prey upon the
wheat fields.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

A lady correspondent, who assumes to
know how boys ought to be trained writes
as follows: "Oh, mothers! hunt out the
soft, tender, genial side of your bows
nature. Mothers often do-with an old
shoe.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

\ Dubuque medical student has come 10
grief by reason of his remarkable technical
knowledge. The young woman to whom
ne was attached one morning received the
following note: Dear Angelinc, am
sorry TO inform you that in consequence Of
acIrcumscribed subcutaneous Inflammation.
characterized BY pointed pustular tumor
'uppuatlng in the center of a curunculus.
am unable to enjoy the pleasure of YOUR
company to the Hippodrome. Ever,
dearest, thine, Augustus" She read it She
rushed to his home in agony of appre-
hension, and found that he had only one
OF those things of which Job had SO many.
" hcn she returned home her sensible
mother told her that She had better dron
that eruditc young man; if married he
would, doubtless, beggcr his family bv
buying Latin Dictionaries and such. Tho
maternal advice was followed; and now 4
suffers from something worse than curun-
ulus.-Tr;J,uc.
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

A question before the California Courts
Is Whether woman is to be considered
a widow because her husband is in the
State prison for life"
Smyrna times., 1875-08-25

A Scotch farmer, having buried his wife.
was called upon by the sexton who had
performed the necessary duties to pay him
his fees Being ola niggardly disposition, he
endeavored to get the knight of the spade
to abate his charges. The patience of the
latter becoming exhausted, he grasped lis
Shoyelimpulsiyely, and, with an angry look,
exclaimed; Doom wi another shilling. Or
up she comes =" The threat had the
desired effect.