Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1875-06-03

open a window, and fell over another
of those cursed ottomans, and fell
against a corner Of the table, and
BACKED my eye awful bad. More pro
fame language.
l got it open all right, and some
fool in the street, seeing the smoke,
thought the house was on FIRE and
sounded the alarm Polly was stand
ing facing the window trying to dig
the smoke out of her eyes, when there
came 4 stream of water through the
window bigger than my arm, and hit
her plump in the mouth, and over she
went on the floor, almost strangled to
death and yelling like fun.
Then they altered the course of the
stream, and got it right in the ear,
and fell over the table, spraining my
wrist and smashing the dishes all to
thunder. 1 thought the thing had gone
far enough, as it was getting monoto
nous, and I started down stairs and
stepped on clothes pin that laid on
the top step. and didn't stop again
until l fetched up at the bottom with
my shoulder dislocated. l explained
things to the firemen and gave them
two dollars to bny beer with, and then
hunted up doctor to fix my shoulder
and things for me.
When | got home there sat Polly
right in the middle of the bed with a
blanket wrapped around her.
She didn't say q word. but the way
she looked made the goose pimple
raise all over me
There was nigh a foot of water on
the floor, and I opened the door and
let it drain off down the stairs.
The stove had calmly gone out.
asked Polly to go with me to a
eating house and have some breakfast,
but her back hair was down for keeps,
and she pulled the blanket up over her
head and gloaned awful. Then I got
mad and was going to pitch the stove
out Of the window-but didn't
/ went out in the street to cool off,
and took 3 little stimulcnt to calm NY
nerves. They calmed. And then l
took some gin and sugar to case the
pain in my shoulder. Tt felt easier.
Then 1 drank some rum and seltzer
for my sprained wrist, and finally,
took good square drink because felt
dry, and it was afternoon before
started home 1t took the doctor a
good while 10 fix my shoulder. You
know
felt able to run that or any other
stove in existence. l was not tight
oh no only terribly ambitious, and
determined to wrestle with that stove
to the best of my ability.
| got to the house and Oh going up
the stairs and opening the door / saw
n sight that made my blood eurdle
Polly was sitting in the bed yet, and
may be teetotally kicked to death by
jackass if the old woman hadn't
| come, Ny mother in law! Of course
it was. Now, Snyder, I've got an ideS
that women never had ought TO. have
mothers, just to pester a mans lite
out of him, and bring him to an early
grave. before his appointed time
My what look the old lady gave
me when [ opened the door but ] die
not seem to notice it.
polly, dearest one. won't you get
up and dres ?" said /. in nay most dul-
Get, seductive voice.
She would not open her head, and
started for the stove determined to
start her or perish nobJy on the spot
got the holder and took off the lie
and was going to put it down, but
somehow it dropped, aad as the ole
woman Was fooling around it fell with
its edge right on her pet corn.
She whooped right out, and taking
the foot in her hands, hoped arount
on the other like lame duck in gale
of wind.'' Oh, you heartless wretch y
| she screamed. 'Fyou are not satisfied
to take my dear chill from my paren
tai embrace, and break her loving hear
with your cruelty, but yon must als'
try 10 murder me p
Now, will leave it to you as an i'm
partial judge, if that wasn't too muct
for man to stand,
Madam said 1, with firmness il
my voice, 81 desire that you leave thi
house!"
II shan't do any such thing!" sal
she, 81 am going to stay here just q
long as please!'' and she staid.
She staid all highland, Snyder
my heart is breaking as / tell you thl
she would not let me sleep with Poi
| ly last night. but made me lay on
sofa and she took my place,
Now, what want to find out is
has married man got any rights tina
his mether-in- law is bound to respect
Come around and see me after til
old lady has gone away!
/ We took q parting drink, and Wi
solemnlv and zorro Wfully limped tc
ward home