American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1875-04-03
CURRENT ITEMS.

| SWEET SOuSS, lHcIC WOulu DC
| on earth.
"WHAT a shame that should be starv-
| ing" exclaimed a poor corset-maker out
of work. that have stayed the stom-
| achs of hundreds"
| FROM all recent accounts of life in
| Florida, the Authorization Fla. would be
more significant with the insertion of the
| vowel E.
SPRING vegetables cannot be expected
yet, but it is almost getting time for bon
net bills.
IT COMFORTS with the eternal fitness of
| things that drunkard should speak in
| gutteral tones.
Coon authority says that there are but
| eighteen words in English which came to
us from the language of the ancient
BritOns.
been born in Stockton, Mo. What
| character for corns he will be!
SHoEMAKERs complain that the times
are so hard they can scarcely keep sole
| and upper together.
| A TROY printer has five wives that the
officers know of, and they suspect the
existence of three or four more.
AN eccentric woman in New York has
established ga home for INDECENT cats"
where she feeds about eighty.
ANOTHER way to dispense with ceme-
| teries without cremation-Take all the
newly -invented pills and don't die.
"No, SIR" said a weary-looking man
on street-car to an individual by his
side, Il wouldn't marry the best woman
alive I've been dry goods clerk too
| long for that"
| A LAW forbidding the payment of diff
ferent salaries in the public schools on
account of sex has just passed the Leg
| islature of California.
A LAZY school boy who spelled Andrew
| Jackson "&ru JaXon" has been equaled
| by student who marked the first of a
! half-doze shirts "John Johnson" and
the rest "do."
IT is said Egypt is the home of the
fragrant onion. There is this about the
onion-you can always tell where it is
Ne,o York Nail.
AT funeral at Madison, Me-, lately,
the man who was buried was placed be-
side two of his dead wives, while two
living ones attended the funeral.
SOUTHAMPTON, Mass, has only three
cents in the treasury, but then the town
has no debt and the three cents is SO
much ahead.
AFTER Jan. 1, 1879, all obligations
payable in New York State in dollars
must be met with dollars-gold dollars
and nothing else.
THREE HUNDRED years have passed
since LucreZia Borgia lived, and now
they are trying to make her out kind
| and gentle woman, a sort of third-claS
angel.
THE parents of a young lady hired her
to take cod liver oil, giving her 81.
Lizzie-for that was her namc-con-
tributed the money thus obtained to the
grasshopper sufferers. If she don't get
long mark on the credit side we are mis-
taken.-Toled0 Blade.
| "WHAT becomes Of all the pins?"-Er.
| If the writer of that will move around
the house in his stocking feet after day
of dressmaking he will get more real
| valuable information on the subject than
all the books in the world can give him.
DURING the last four years and half
Gaul has averaged one and one-third Cabi
net Ministers per month-total, 66. The
average is on the increase, moreover.
TOO many cooks spoil the BROTH" says
the proverb; and the READ trouble with
France is that she has always had too
many People should eat to live, not
| live to eat.
A NEW YORKER visiting this city re-
marks that the philosophic thought of
| Boston is common even among the street.
car conductors. He instances the con-
| ductCr, who, on ringing the bell, the
Olner evening, at d uaTk sue slIect anu
| being rewarded for stopping his car by
presently seeing fat woman struggle
up out of the impenetrable night, re
marked as he started the car again: 81
had an intuitive perception that she was
coming out there."-Boston Transcript.
THIS is how Mary Kyle Dallas says it
feels: Take a man and pin three or four
large table cloths about him, fastened
back with elastic and looped up with
ribbons; drag all his own hair to the
middle of his head and tie it tight, and
| hairpin on about five pounds of other
hair and a big bow of ribbon. Keep the
front locks on pins all night and let them
tickle his eyes all day; pinch his waist
into corset, and give him gloves size
too small and shoes ditto, and a hat that
will not stick on without torturing
| elastic, and frill to tickle his chin, and
a little lace veil to blind his eyes when
ever he goes out to walk, and he will
know what womans dress is. Myl
A STORY is told of one Busby and Mrs.
Busby, of Trenton, N. j., celebrating their
| iron wedding. They made II feast and
| invited one hundred and twenty guests.
| The first three or four guests that arrived
all brought tiat-irons. The coincidence
was laughable, and all laughed. But
when the next eight or ten brought flat
irons and looked jolly over them Mrs.
| Dusty grew SIGN ol llC llouiHS BUSINESS,
and Busby got mad. He began TO scent
Il preconcerted ironical joke, and his
bosom was ruflied by the irony of his
! best friends. Long before the next hun
| dred guests had come, all Juggling flat
irons, Mrs. Busby was laid out on Il sofa,
and Busby had gone to bed drunk. The
only variations IN the present were, one
friend brought a flat-lron holder, and
another, from Philadelphia, contributed
Il COW bell. Busby's suspicious were IN
correct. 1t was no trick at all except oi
universal human nature. The whole
proceeding was natural. The fact was
that Trenton had IA large overstock of
hat-irons and sold them at scddctively
low rates-almost gave them away.
Everybody had to do something and
everybody invested in tlat-irons because
they were dirt cheap. The proceeds of
that iron wedding were 2l3 tlat-irons, one
holder and cow-bell. Busby and wife
nave resolved not to celebrate their sill
yer wedding at all, at least not publicly.
st L0nis Republican.
According to an official statement
there are % 81 persons at Berlin who
have to paw taxes on their incomes, VIZ;
One of them has an annual income OF
600. 600 thalers one of 100000 thalcrs, one
of :S2O, 900 thalers, one of 2iO 900 thalers,
two of 100000 thalcrs, two of 10000
thalers, one of 10000 thalers, three of