Buchanan County bulletin. [volume] (Independence, Iowa) 1869-1891, 1875-04-30
WHOLE NO. 5l2.


be trlfled Wlth-the business end OF
wasp.
Falsehood is often rocked by truth, but
she soon outgrows her cradle, and discards
her nurse.
A Kansas newspaper is anxious to know
how many of the destitute will attend the
first circus of the season.
A social philosopher says the ART Of
flirting is in its infancy. 1t will be ssd
day when the thing is grown up.
Alexander Stephens is said to be hope
full of the future, and he certainly has .
right to be, considering how long he has
fooled the undertakers.
A bereaved female, who has read every
word of the testimony, and lost her faith
in mankind, pensively observes, Its q
real comfort to be widow now"
The little State of Delaware has adopted
a new flag x64 feet, of blue silk with
yellow fringe. 1t win be used to spread
over the State to keep the frost OF
Ex-Vice-President Colfax has contribut-
ed one thousand dollars to the Rrassh0p-
per sufferers in the county in Nebraska
which bears his name.
If you wish success in life, make per-
severence your bosom friend, experience
your wise counsellor, caution your elder
brother, and hope your guardian genius.
Santa Barbara, Cal has had strawber-
ries in its market during the whole of the
winter. We shall enjoy ours all the more
in June for not having them of late.
1t must have been a woman who COM
piled the table of figures to show that the
average man who patronizes the barber
spends for shaving In forty years the sum
of $4,6OO,67
The lazy school boy who spelled An
drew jackson, "&ru Jaxon" has been
equaled by student who marked the first
half dozen new shirts "John Jones" and
the rest ''do,"
Nobody can look for five minutes at
General Burnside, the new Senator from
Rhode Island, without wondering how 80
small State can support SO large pair
of side-whlskers.
The difference between the sexes may
be stated thus "a man gives forty cents
for a twenty five cent thing he wants, and
woman gives twenty-five cents for
forty cent thing she does not want"
A prominent Detroit Universalist, some
months ago, married red-headed widow
with four children, and last week he re-
marked to friend, II was blind when I
believed there was no hell. see now"
A colored congregation in Dayton have
decided to forgive their clergymen for bet
ting on three-card monte and losing $50
of the festival money. One of the des-
cons remarked: 1--WE is all human, and
de gama is VERY exciting
A young man out West married deaf
and dumb girl. Recently. however. she
recovered both speech and hearing. and
he has applied for divorce. He says it
Is the most outrageous swindle he ever
heard of, and we think he is right.
Perhaps one ought not to mention such
things, but it's hard to keep from thinking
how different the history Of this country
would have been if Ulysses s. Grant, Ben
iamin F. Butler and Henry Ward Beecher
had been born girls. Courier Journal.
The best thing to give your enemy is
forgiveness; to your opponent, tolerance; !;
to friend, your heart; to your children.
good example; to your parents, love
and Difference; to yourself, respect; to all
men, charity; to God, obedience.
A Georgia woman has five children Of
her own, seventy-two grandchildren, sew
enty-one great.grandchildren nearly all
living-making in all one hundred and
forty persons composing her imme-
diate family.
The ghost of Noah Webster came to .
spiritual medium in Alabama, not long
since, and wrote on piece Of paper: ut
\ is tite times" Noah was right, but We
are sorry to see he has gone back ON his
dictionary.
Nevada brides won't stand much fool.
ishness at wedding. Recently one Of
them while going up the aisle of the
church stopped and kicked all the skin oh
the shins of groomsman who trod on her
trail
Several passengers on the Lower Missis.
sippi were attracted by the alligators play
ing in the sunshine. "Are they amphibi
ous," Captain" asked a looker-on. "Am
phibious, thunder" answered the enthusi
astic officer, they'll eat hog minute. u
Apropos of the spelling mania It may
be of interest to know that lady Of Prov
idence, r. l., during leisure moments, has
spelt SIX hundred and fifty words out Of
the word "congregationalist," and in NO
case repeating letter in the formation OF
word.
Kind words are the brightest flowers o1
earth's existence Use them, and espec
tally around the fireside circle. They are
jewels beyond price, and more precious t.
heal the wounded heart and make the
weighed down spirit glad, than all the
other blessings the world can give.
If you want to make sensation and b<
regarded as senseless, enter . church, I
place of amusement, or any assemblagl
half an hour after everybody is seated
and the exercises are well under way
You can add to your peculiar reputation
by leaving half an hour earlier than any
body else.
"Grief" was the word which was giveI
to merchant at spelling school neal
Dubuque last Thursday night. "G-r-ee-l
greet" he yelled, and when everybody
got through laughing he was as mad - Z
hornet, and said: Il never seen such ,
lot of jackasses in my life. I just spellet
it that way to see if any of you wer
scholars enough to notice that It wa
wrong. Any fool knows it is g-r-e-f.e!'
A Southern paper relates the following
Zone of our country friends relates
story of one of the intelligent 6fteent
amendment recruits attempting to steal
goose, but dog raised an objection, an
Sambo retired. The next night, during
thunder shower. he attempted it again
and just as he was on the point of gettin
away with his bird, the lightning strucl
close by Dropping the goose, he stazte'
away, muttering: "Pears to me dar an
mighty lot of fuss made bout . comno
goose"
Looks, as we'll as words, often expires
dying triumph. Says one, after quotin
the last prayer of the Countess Seafeld
with these words she closed her oyel
and seemed to all present to be vieldin
up her last breath. But in little tim
she opened her eyes again, and with .
air. as it seemed, Of joy and wonder, sh
continued looking upward with hxe
gaze for nearly half an hour. BY d
gree she let her eyes fall, shut them, an'
yielded up her last breath. Those VIII
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