Smyrna times., 1875-11-03
Hiram Jenkins Mistake.

nIIdu U6uhlQ s mistake,
Hiram Jenkins drove slowly up the hill
road that led to the farm house of Deacon
Bates. 1t was plain even to casual OBJ
servers that the errand he was bound upon
was OF no common importance. No man
would have arrayed himself so gorgeouslv.
simply for the purchase of a tub of fall
butter or yoke of steers. His hair was in
astate ofdistressing smoothness, and seemed
almosta part of the glossy hatthat coveredit.
His coat and pantaloOns were marvels in
their way, and his boots, which had been
elaborately BACKED, reflected back the
rays of the setting sun in a manner per.
tectly binding to the beholder And vet.
Notwithstanding his superiority in all these
respects to the lilies of the field there was
apparent in his actions a singular sort of
nervousness, trepidation almost, which
rendered his appearance at once ridiculous
and awkward. This trepidation was no
wise lessened by the sudden vision of a
red-headed urchin watching him from the
barn door, and who, as the team approach
ed, with an ever widening grin sped off in
the direction of farm house, and disap-
peared through the kitchen door. Hiram
was conscious minute afterwards of being
the target of half a dozen pair of eyes from
the sitting room windows, and it REQUIRED
extraordinary strength of mind on his part
to drive past the house where the horses of
all the visitors were hitched. There are a
few more awkward things to do than to get
IN or out OF carriage when women are
watching and though Hiram never thought
OF the fact before, he fully experienced its
truths, as endeavoring to spring genteellv
from the buggy, but his foot slipped on the
wheel and he came down on his hands and
kneesin the dirt. His remarks as he scram.
bled to his feet was confined to one word.
but that, though short, was most expressive
of the English language
have to go round to the barn-pump
and wash my hands before can 20 in
he said to himself. ~ suppose they are
having their fun out of me in the house
now. Confound it! | wish I hadn't
startedr'
As he passed the door Of the horse-barn.
which was partly open, he heard the sound
of voices. He listened, and his heart sank
as he recognized the tones of his rival.
Elnathan Rogers.
" want her bad" he was saying. "She
just suits me. You can't always have her.
nd Io4
settled"
81 don't know about that" answered
the deacon dOubtfully. I" I've ALWAYS said
come what would, wouldn't part with
Jenny. But you hang on 50, I don't
know"
Say it's bargain deacon I've thought
1t over good while, and Jenny must
have. I'll treat her well you may be sure
of that"
the deacon hesitated, blew his nose, and
finally said:
She's got some little tricks that nobody
knows nothing about hut me, and don't
want to impose upon neighbor.'
"Oh, pshawl that's only an excuse
deacon. | am willing to risk it,
She kicked me in the stomach last
winter, and bit little Sammy not more'n
six weeks ago. can show you the scar
now p
"Great Kingp thought Hiram, "and
here was going to pop the question this
very night. Who ever would have thought
it?n
"I'll take that out of her." said Elna.
than, continued the conversation. "Ifl
she so much as lifts her foot against me.
I'll give her lickin' that'll last a month";
Lickr' calculated Hiram to himself
astonished beyond measure, Lick Jenny
Batesl Well, that goes ahead of anything
| ever heard Of And the old man doesn't
say a word What next2'
pause ensued, which was at last broken
by the deacon:
Well, if you must have her, you must.
| expect the old lady'll want something to
say about it, though. She thinks as much .
Of Jenny as / do. Won't you come into
the house ?''
= Not now. I've got to go down to the I
village before dark, I'll be around some /
time tomorrow y
Hiram Jenkins waited until he saw his
successful rival climb the fence between the 8