Middletown transcript., 1875-04-10
Kissing.

Mrs. Swisshelm, wierd and wien q
the sybil Endor, has emerged from tn
dark backwood and abysm Of a remot
antiquity and entered her voice on kiss
ing She thinks it perilous custom
and chastely records herself as advers
to it except in cases Of great pressur
of emergency. The Brooklyn trial seem
to have inspired this spectral reappear
ance and this solemn croak of virtuou
warning. 1t. is not surprising. Tb'
amount of kissing done by the impul
sive and affectionate persons who ar,
embraced in the tolls of that celebrated
process appears to have been tremen
dous. No wonder that an obsolet.
bombazine matron, for centuries unac
eustomed to this improper sort of thing
should emerge from oblivion and rise
to point of order. Concerning the
testimony of lady that in a time o.
profound sorrow and despair she gave q
sympathetic and religious kiss to the
Plymouth pastor. Mrs Swisshelm de-
clares that no sorrow and sympathy can
render their irregular osculations other
than perilous, and that to be strictly
secure and in order a woman must
never kiss parson until be is dead
1t would be idle for US to claim as much
knowledge on this intricate and impor-
tant question as Mrs. Swisshela posses
ses. but really it seems as if she were
laying down too rigid and unbending a
law. Kissing is an ancient and gra-
cious mode of salutation, very highly
spoken of in the Bible and other sacred
books, and much in vogue all over the
world, except among the lower tribes
of savages. who substitute for it q
furious rubbing together Of noses. 1t
would be most unhappy result if,
because some Of the Brooklyn saints
and sinners had kissed not wisely but
too much, that henceforward all kiss
ing should be interdieted. Go to,
Because thou art virtuous
shall there be no more cakes and ale ?
Even that mature vestal virgin Susan
B. Anthony would hardlya cquieses in
the wintry.. severity Of this decree.
She might forego such salutations on
her own account; but how could she
expect to rally women around her at
the blast Of her rsformatory fog-horn if
she forbade them to kiss or be kissed or
only INDUCED them with an occasional
shot at deceased parson or nummied
missionary She would have no dis
,iples except, perhaps, a few black
alpaca veterans, with withered, fear
fronts, who didn't want to
Kiss any body. or be kissed to any ex-
eut involving anxieties or lawsuits.
These would not constitute an effective
'eformatory army. There is not much |
'hance that Mrs. Swisshelm's counsel
will seriously diminish the aggregate of
Kissing the world over. 1t seems to be
pretty constant quantity, and though
lot accurately measurable by statistics,
doubtless bears an invariable relation
o the table Of population. So much is
maternal or paternal. so much filial, so
nuch fraternal. SO much conju gal, so
ouch ceremonial or salutatory, and so
ouch (the unknown quantity miscel-
aneous and unclassifed. As literary
ady Of several centuries of experience,
1rs. Swisshelm will doubtless recall
leigh Hunts vivacious and graceful
mes. founded upon an incident which
efell when he bore to Carlyle news
nat the Government had just granted
,s great Scotchman a pension of a30O
year.
Jenny kissed me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in,
ime, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in.
y Pm weary, say Pm sad,
Say that health and wealth have missed me-
~ Pm growing old, but add,
Jenny kissed me.'
Certainly Mrs Swisshelm would not
I'VE had this graceful and becoming ,
'lutation foregone, else where would
ave been the pretty poetry in which
is SO musically distorted. Nor must
'e forget that the Beautiful Georgiana, ,
uchess of Devonshire, carried tho I
'estminister election on a critical
'easion by bestowing kiss upon an
fluential constituent who drove the
evating and ennobling trade of ]
,tchsr. That celebrated kiss brought |