Smyrna times., 1875-05-26
mise eIIUW e OUS.
A Shadow in Married Life.

all its ho.y and sacred meanings does not .
always Weld the permanent happiness which /
ought to flow from Il fountain so pure i'll It's
essential nature. and So rich in its capable:
ticS. OF course, where this union is not +
based upon the deep and sincere attach ,
lnrmt and general congenality OF the par
ties. it is not surprising that it should
gradually become It heavy and oppressive
load that only legal restraint or public sen
tintnt can preserve; hut there are other
eases where married life seems to open most
auSpiciou<ly, and the brillancy OF its pros
prct is unclou,ied 10y Il single fear, which
Vet fail sadly to fulfil their bright promises
in after life
1t would be futile to attempt to trace The
many ca,lSes which combine TO shadow
these radiant hopes; mcddling friends are
all too ready to pronounce upon them. and
to cast blame on husband or wife, without
tathoming the intricate nature of the sub
i,vt they thus rudely handle. There is,
however, one Source of matrimonial iiSap-
l"intment which is seldom thought of, and
which Is yet PERHAPS, responsible for more
OF it than We imagine. 1t is the dividing
line Iy which custom separates husband
unl wife - exclusively, aS L. the employ
nrnt~ uf life. Ail human ties. to be- rn
,u.im4 il,~t h,. based some common
ground OF sympathy. Similar pursuits,
AIMS. desires and hopes draw men and
women together in tire various bonds OF
social relations. and are the foundations
and ronstrvrrs OF the best friendships. In
proportion to the degree OF sympathy thus
,mgendcred, will naturally be ,!ir strength
of the attachment: Withdraw them all. and
affection. deprived of it. nouri~hing intiu
,.nce,. must decay and die. The love which
i, the root of every happy marriage Is no
exception i'll this rule. 1t must have food
for its Su.tenance and Development. There
must be full and steadla~t sympathy in all
which is near and dear to the heart of each,
if it is to endure and grow.
1t may seem at the first view that sufli-
cient sources Of this sympathy exist i'll every
true marriage. and that the con@cn!ality OF
character and sentiment that 7utliced to
draw the young couple together will ,Hiiicr
to keep them 50. But that this Is not iii,
case the >cqual too often proves. The eX
cluSiy, division Of labor which marriage sC
frequently induces, VIII, without the mos
tender and delicate a%siduity have 4 ten
dcncy To draw those apart who might un
der other circumstances become more alo
more closely allied. husband and wifi,
have generally in our modern civilization
too little in common for the perfect develop
lncnt Of their union. The man Is Immersed
in his business. the woman in her houschOl'
cares 1t is fortunate if the same cXclu>iy,
ness is not carried into their leisure hour,
if he be not devoted to his political part
or his club, and She to the claims {
fashionable life Their minds consequent
run in different channels. and their CONVEX
,ation Is apt to turn upon subjects which Al
not of paramount interest to either. 1t
an almost inevitable consequence that
this is left 10 take it, course there will be
gradual. perhaps impcrccpiiblr, but ccrtai
weaning away from each other.
1t is true that Il mci~urc OF these circum
stances is necessary and right: it is on
the unnecessary cXa@selation of them thu
We condemn. Naturally, the wife is II
queen Of the home, while the husband
duties lie chiefly outside. But they shou
each maintain scdul"u-ly the deepest i
terest in the others work, confidin2
each other the details, consulting each 9th
on the plans, and, as far ~ may be prac
cable. assisting cac! other IN the work
self. In this way the separating effect
different occupations viii BE- "Lyiatcd ~
patly increased, interc-t- blended and IN
l,and and wife drawn ever closer 10 o
another. through It knowledge and app
citation of each other, diiiicu.tic, and iabo
Besides this, such Il course will greatly !
l.rore the results which each can acc"
qlish. The ready insight and quick pcrc'
lions which sympathetic wife would bri
10 bear upon her husbands plans, mi-
save him from many rash speculation a
unfortunate enterprise, while hi+ judpn,
and counsel might be- Of c,ual value Ia
5n the guidance Of her household.
One subject especially has prr-rmin
claim upOn their mutual regard, the tn
ing and development Of their childl
Children need, for their welfare, bot
fathers and a mother raro--each supp
10 them what the other lacks. Yet
often do we see this whole burden res
solely upon the mother! How N
fathers are there who think their er
duty to their children accomplished "
they provide the necessary means Tor
maintenance! They scarcely take tii.i
become acquainted with their own child
much less study their temperaments, a
tain their needs, and gain their confdo
Surely if there is anything which ougl
draw father and mother into bonds OF
closest intimacy with each other, "
should command their united interest
sympathy, and employ the combined pc
of both in their fullest exercise, 1t i
care and education of the offspring tina
o,,+,,,sto1 ~ their mutual guardianship