Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1875-07-08
VARIETY AND HUMOR.

-DHbulutI scdllS are CUT very SNORT,
| and the coat sleeves fit almost tight to the
| arm.
The prospects are that green apples
and cholera will be about month later
than usual this year.
1t isn't any economy to get your wife
to cut your hair, because il costs you so
much atterward for court-plastcr. Brook
Ign A7yus.
"A Charleston merchant who failed
the other day owed So and his assets
were seventeen cents. Ii takes an hmeri-
lean to do business.
The people of New Bedford, Mass,
are fitting out large whaling expedition,
numbering II vessels, for regular old.
fashioned whaling expedition.
Are the people Of this broad and
magnificent country going to let the grass
hopper excitement overshadow potato bug
talk? Nav! Arouse, ye freemen!
"A young lady in Alabama said she
guessed she knew how to shoot "A pistol.
The doctor who dug the bullet ont of her
brothers leg said he guessed so too
Kerosene oil is recommended as de-
stroycr Of the Colorado potato beetle.
Here, possibly, is the new opening which
"A woman marres the first time for
love, the second time for home and she
is in favor of the third term if the man is
eligible financially. -Iitusriih Herald.
Nothing is SO calculated to overthrow
ones confidence in human nature as the
spectacle of a man poulticing his wife's
throat for the purpose of restoring her
voice.
When a boy falls and peels the skin
of his nose, the first thing he does is to
get up and yell. When girl tumbles
and hurts herself badly, the first thing she
does is to get up and look at her dress.
Canaan Valley, Conn, is the place
where they store kegs of gunpowder in a
blacksmith shop, and where the gun
powder, lighted by spark from the forge,
blows the blacksmith and his shop into
bits.
There are times when all of womans
self.posscssion and dignity are required.
That is when she shows her first baby,
hare Tipped one, to IN old beau, whom she
had Tilted for the sake of her present hus-
band
California female teachers have al
ways treated the School Trustees boy with
the distinguished consideration which, rs
the son OF his father, he is entitled to, and
now they get just as much pay rs male
teachers.
u pom the death of her husband the
| lady married his brother, and when II
friend saw the portrait of the first husband
in the house lac said: Is this member
of your hmilys' " 1t is my poor brother.
in.law,n she said.
"A young man in Oswego jumped into
the canal and ruined "A iitty-dollar suit of
clothes to save cross-eyed girl, and then
wouldn't accept button-string which
she collected for him He said that hon
esty was its own reward,
-" Well. Neighbor Smmmidge, how
much shall put yoa down for to get II
chandelier for the church, Ncighbor
s." Shoe what we want to get chan.
dylier for: The hain't nobody can play
ON ter il when We gi; il
In sentencing two murdercr> Ia be
hanged the other day, Judge Reed, of
Charleston, ). c., dropped into the fol-
| lowing selections
This world is MI tlcctiug show
For mans illusion given.
Its smiles OF Joy, its tears OF woe,
Deceittul shine, dcvcitful flow,
There's nothing true but Heaven,
| The victims of the law failed to look con.
/ suled.
| The Rev ". NJ Baker wrote To the
! Independent a story of Phil Sheridan. the
/ events of which he vouches for rs occur.
/ ring within his own experience, He mar.
| rates that young lady, wishing 10 br
| taken out for walk 10y Sheridan, made a
/ request TO him to accompany her Sheri.
/ dan declined on the plea of wet weather.
/ 4 few minutes later the lady detected him
/ stealing out alone and charged him with
+ Inconsistency, Sheridan replied (>avS the
( chroniclcrl. THE weather is too bad for
/ two, hut | thought il NIGH; he good
I enough for one. - This same story, il i
discovered, was told of Richard RrinSley
/ sheridan wears age, The Rev Bakers
revival of il is due perhaps 10 the prevail
ing centennial fever.
AT the LAYING of the cornerstone of
/ Bunker Hin Monument the crowd thatha
/ assembled to hear MIR Wehster's Grafton
I pressed forward upon the platform So that
il was in dagger OF giving way. The
Chairman urged the crowd 70 fall back.
hut his entreaties were unhecded. and he
[ asked Mr. Webster's assistance. The lat.
Ter arose and said, in his majestic way
! Gentlemen, YOU must fall back" We
cannot" WAS the reply; q" il i imposSi-
BILE: the crowd behind arr pushing Us for.
ward" Ina spirit betittinS the place and
time the great Webster turned upon them
and exclaimed: " Gentlemen. nothing i
Impossible on Bunker Hin; you must tall
. hack And back they Went, rs ii Inn