Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1875-03-04
Wit aud 1 Huuor.

Az unsssislac ZOE s0ss y;
Sbroil.
What is Il which has mouth and nev.
6 speaks. and bed and never sleeps !! A
river.
Nice fatsen slowly in church. They
cant live on religion any more than min
listers can.
q Texas damscl has sued an admirer
for breaking her nose while trying 70
kiss her against her will.
Tho Marquette Mining Journal man
has 5 frozen ear, frost-bitten foot and 4
lame leg, and yet he is IS funny and sun
shiny as the owner Of six coach dogs and
. bank book.
4. Helen was proud, said an Indian wild
over Of his last wife, and she was 3 great
worker. You ought 10 have stood by and
zee her Jerk = bedstead down and 60 for
bugs s5=$S
Washington Irving once alluded to :
pomsOus person as "a great man, and. In
his own estimation, man Of great weight
When he goes to the West, he thinks the
Rast tips up"
l hope you will find your tea good, gen
tlemen. said bachelor housekceper. to
his guests. Yes, replied one ofthe guests
the tea is good, but-al-the water is
deuced smoky.
When you see bare.headcd man fol
Lowing COW through the front gate and
filling the air with garden implements
and profanity, YOU may know that his
cabbage plants have been set out.
A Southwestern journal told its read.
ers that at night, when you see the big
dipper, with the handle toward you, and
the tail Of the comet in the bowl. it is
abont time to 50 home and go to bed.
When q young man in Patagonia falls
In love with girl, he lassoos her, drags
her home behind his horse, and that's I'll
tho marriage ceremony necessary. He
doesn't even have to buy the lasso.
After fellow has been carrying i
young lady's glove pinned over his heart
for fourteen months no one can imagine
his feelings as he sees her dash by in Z
cutter with q clerks arm around her.
MY near fellow" said an3Old member
Of Congress to Z new one $ on work too
hard ON your speeches. Ig0ftcp prepare
one in half an hour and think nothing Of
It," and that's just what everybody
else thinks Of IT." was tl,t. reply. q
Alta public gathering lately one of the
gentlemen was called upon for speech,
and this is how he responded !. '.Gentlc.
men and women, 4 ain't no speecher.
More'n twenty years back ! came here .
poor idiot boy, and now what are l. = s#ss
Business is lively in st. Louis. a dry
goods merchant there, in a fit Of somnam-
bulism, arose from his couch, neatly cut
the bed-quilt in two with his ;,'cket scis-
sors, and then asked his terrified wife ii
he could not show her something else.
A Kansas farmer purchased revolver
! for his wife, and insisted on target prac.
ticeso that she could defend the house
= ~ u
In case ef his absence. After the bullet
was dug out Of his leg, and the COW bu.
ned, he said be guessed she'd better shoe,
With an AZ.
0n3a Detroit sidewalk the other days
Portly man snatched at the surrounding
air for second or two, and then wen'
down upon the icy bricks with force
that shook his frame, and made him SCI
atars. Say remarked = newsboy % Lii
companion who Witnessed the catastro
Pie, shat ERE feller's q Free Mason; did
MT you see him giving the signs!' Inside
ola minute tive boys were getting awav
closely followed by boot.