The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-07-16
Police Court Sketches.
A WANDERER,

n "aNDEREks
Joseph MuldOOn had scarcely touched
the mark when he informed the Court
that he was not only a poor orphan, with
out a relative in the world, but that he be-
lOnged in Canada.
Il can't help it if you belon" in Color
ado" replied the Court; "you shall have
a fair trial and truth and Justice shall stand
out here like freckles on a Chicago wo-
mans nose. Are you guilty"
i took a drop, sir"
Where did You drop from"
81 mean that | slipped a little brandy.
sir, and it flew to my head"
Joseph MuldOOn, native of Canada,
you've spoken truly" said his Honor.
1.-The brandy flew to your head, you flew
to an alley and the police flew to you. 1t
was a flying time. Do you make 4 prac-
tice of drinking brandy? )"
mo, sir-I drink whisky as a general
thing"
"Ies-um-yes," unused his Honor, as
he looked over At the grinning Bijah.
We'll, III sequester you"
Thanks, sir, thanks"
II don't a any thanks. | said I'd
sequestcr yOu for thirty days"
Pm greatly obliged, sir, and I'll 90
go now-right off"
"Sir! don't you know what scquester
means?' exclaimed the Court.
Yes, sir, and I'll be in Canada in ten
minutes"
Bijah grinned.
The clerk grinned.
The reporters anXiOusly waited.
Mr.. JOY, let this man OUT continued
the Court as he looked up from his papers,
" and warn him that he'll catch it if he
ever comes within thirty-six miles of De-
troit again.
a VENERABLE PINE
september Johnson, why do 0 ap-
pear at this bar :'' asked his Honor of the
next mara darkey so old that his head
was white and his limbs weak.
TO git away" was the reply.
And how many policemen were en-
gagged in your arrest?'
lone, sab"
"Only one? Why, | thought it must
have taken a { dozen to bring you in. Well,
so you We're drunkT'
No, sah-I was tired"
Mr.. johnson. you are very near the
yawning tomb. You are i'll the December
of your life. If you live to see the Cen
tennial open you'll be forgotten by all
men before another comes. Standing
there. one foot in the grave, as it We're,
your white hair a signal-flag that you are
nearly ready TO sail across the mystic
river, can you lie TO me?"
= was a little drunk" replied the pris-
after a moments reflection.
"Tiat'S better. Mr.. johnson. You
have Il clean look. and [ hope that your
path down the valley of death may have
terrOrS. You may go, Mr.. Johnson,
and if | were You I'd stick to weak tea
and barley water and let strong drink
Il will. sah," replied the old chap as he
hobbled away.
AYOUNG OAK.
"Loating around, eh?" inquired the
Court rs John Brown was brought out.
i've tried for a job" grOwled the pris-
Oner.
- know all about you, John. I've seen
those cars - that nose - that yawniEg
mouth here at this bar half Il dozen differ
times during the past year"
I'm going to Chicago, SIR
"l1I bet five hundred dollars 10 4 cent
that you won't! You are going to the
of Correction for sixty days"
ITS bad, sir, when a fellow tries hard
to find work"
8 know it.. The police have seen YOU
trying to work into barns AMI sheds.
tried to work none ont of
strangers. You've worked up rows and
riots on the Potomac. and now you've
in here again. I've thought yOur
Ease over and over in my mind, and |
wonder that you haven't run across some
one who wanted to break your neck. You
ton't know what gratitude or Self-respect
honor is. You'd rather W Il fighting
log than the best library in the country,
and rather get drunk than he presented
with an eighteen-doIlar Bible. You'll
nave to 90 up"
I'll try to be good. sir"
Cant help it. | gave you fair WARM
no, and the creased plank awaits you."
Detroit Free Press.