The Tiffin tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1868-1887, 1875-10-21
Toledo Blade I
NAGB 7.
Ne Proposes 10 Settle with NOfe-HOId-
ers-fhe Interc0nFerIIbie Bond Sys.
tem-The Result or the Conference.

> ne Proposes 10 Settle with NOfe-HOId
ers-fhe Interc0nFertIbie Bond SIS
tem-The Result or the Conference
In A SWAMP NEAR CoN-l
FEDRIT Y ROADS,
Which is in the State Nv Ken
lucky.
September 80, 1875.
II felt that ef had to stay anothe
week ia this Internal cabin / shoe
die. With nothing but hoe-eake t
eat, with infrekent and onreasonabI
drinks, with no society whatever, lif
didn't seeH to me to be wuth hevin
Therefore sent note to the citizen
Nv the Corners sskin for a promise u
safety, that mite make EN- a propo
sishen, wich, ef they would accept
wood enable the Bank to go on ant
become IS permanent ez time her
self.
The Corners met aud decided to re
ceeve me, and appoint me commit
tee to heer my proposishen, and OF
reseeVln their alser | made my wa
thither.
The meetin' wuz held in the church
IT wuz an impressive scene. On tht
platform in front Nv the pulpit sOs tn,
com mittee-the auditorium in from
Wuz crowded with citizens, the mos
Nv whom had baskets Nv my curren
cyi and ther wuz an expectant muir
mur ez l entered. / wHz delited K
see that there ~un - -;@der Jast -honh
Nv where 1 wuZ to stand, and slsC
that It WIZ open that 1t wuZ only
three feet to the ground, and that the
woods wuz only about eighty rods tC
the rear. Old ez 1 am kin make
fairly good time for eighty rods.
wuz respectfully invited to make
my statement.
Ez l rose q most anxshus silence
peryaded that assemblage. VOC
Good hev heerd q pin drop il anybody
he'd dropt one.
Wipin my streamln brow re-
marked that l he'd never intended
that the Corners shood lose a cent by
our bank, nor did I now so intend.
l contest that in looking simply to
the idee w inf1ashun, fOllering the
idees Nv the Democracy Nv Ohio and
Pennsyivany, 1 he'd not given sich
careful attenshun eZ shood hev done
to the matter Nv redempshun.
At this pint the awience seemed to
be visabiy pleased.
he'd week Nv sOlitOod, and he'd
employed that time a wrestling with
the question Nv finance, and was hap
py to say that he'd finally mastered
1t. l he'd DatoOred q skeem for re-
demshun which wuz wiIlll. to pre-
sent.
"Go on go on !" the people shreek-
ed delightedly.
81 perpose TO redeem the ishOos NV
the OnlImited Trust and Confidence
in the bonds nv the company"
Their faces resoomed expreshun
Nv stolidity which did not like.
"Will them bonds bear. interest ?"
they all askt in korusn
'Certainly they will. We shell be
generous. You may fix the rate Of
interest at wat you choose"
"Fhat seems fair" they exclaimed.
congratulated myself on hevin
got through tollable eazy, and wuz
steppin , off the platform to 90 over
to Simpsons to hev the bonds print
ed, when that feend, Joe Bigler, who
was sittin with Pollock, rose and
remarkt that he, ez bill-hOIder, he'd
q question to ask.
go on" sez /.
You'll give interest-bearih' bonds
for your notes, will you 2"
Certainly, josef" said / (; "uv
course we will"
swat do you perpose to redeem the
bonds in ?'I------ -------.--
"Why, our notes, NV course. Wat
else hev we to redeem them in 4? Our
notes, with the privilege nv convertin
Nv um into bonds at any time-and
faith-ls the best money In the
world"
"Then wat'lI you redeem the notes
in persisted josef with fiendish per-
tinassity. -
"Why, the bonds, Nv course,p was
my response, "Wat kin any one
want better than intrest-bearin bonds,
and wat currency kin be better than
that wich yoo kin convert at pleasure
into sich bonds ? My friends, when
ever yoO want bonds for your cur
rency, don't hesitate to come for EN-
don't be afraid Nv givin the officers
trouble. 1t is our pleasure to serve
the public, and We'll go to any
lengths"
tBut wat did I un'stand yoo'r goin
to redeem them bonds in ~ asked
Josef again.
"Our notes !" answered, out NV
pashense with him.
"And 700 redeem the notes with
yoor bonds ?n
Certainly, jist ez our friends Nv
Ohio perpose to pay the nashnel
debt.
"And this goes on for time and
eternity ?" ---. --.g
Certainly, Josef. A financial in
stitution, constructed ez ours is, kin
go on from time to eternity, becoz it
is convertible-one species nv paper
into another, and another into one.
You see-n
"Yes, see, but, citizens, Bascsm,
when yoo have sold all your likker
agin for this paper, and you turn
around and convert it into bonds, hev
you any ashoorance that they'll take
them bonds in Louisville for more
llkker? Did they take the. notes
afore ? How much better does the
bonds make 'em ? F'ellow-citiZens Of
the Corners-(JOsef spoke impressive
Iy)-Fellow-citizens Nv the Corners,
inoggerate this system agin If you
choose, but feel it my duty to warn
you that in week there won't be a
drop of likker in the Corners, and
watts more you won't be able to get q
drop. YoO are standin on the brink
NV a pressipis. Haul off before it is
everlastinly too late"
The people seed it to wunst, and
with glare like SO many infOoriated
tigers they riz and went for me. /
didA't keer to stay to argoo finance
with 'em. The winder was open, and
/ sprang thrO it, and made for the
woods, wich l reached Just in time.
He'd they caught me they wool hev
hung me out Nv hand.
Lam now in the cabin in which I
hey spent the last week, sick and
sore. Does finanseerin mean perpet-
coal skootin for the woods Am
to aIIuz be escapin with my life Oh,
for quiet, sekOor Postoffis
PETROLEUM V. Nasty,
President OF the late Oniimited Trust
and Confidence Company.
P, S.-The nigger who owns my
hidin-place has discovered vino am.
He went to the Corners to get per-
visions with the money give him,
and then the cat was out nv the bag.
He sed had be knowd who 1 wuz and
wat wuz hidin for, be never wood
hev took me in. He thot waz mere
ly hunted and distres. horse thief.
Ez L bed nuthin to pay him In, be
came in while wuz asleep and took
my coat and boots, wich he sez /
kin hev when / give him good
money for that wich [ paid him in.
he b'leeyes I hev some good money
about me somsw here. How [ am to
git away fro N here the Lord only
knows. p. ". N.
From the Santa Rosa Call Democrat, Sept.
"a
The California Wine Crops.