The herald and mail. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 1873-188?, 1875-05-14
ON THE MI>SISSIPPI RIVER.
Mark Twain's Experiences as 3 Cur Pa.
LIT ON lie nIississitini.

ON THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER.
Mark Twoin's Experiences as g Cur Pr
lit on Tie mississippi.
A pilot must have a memory; but
there are two higher qualities which he
must also have. He must have good
and quick Judgment and decision, and
cool, cal m courage that no peril can
shake. Give a man the merest trifie of
pluck to start with, and by the time he
has become pilot he cannot be I'M
manned by any danger a steamboat can
get into; but one cannot quite say the
same for Judgment. Judgment is a
matter of brains, and man naust start
with good stock Of that article, or he
will never succeed as pilot.
The growth of courage in the pilot
house is steady all the time, but it does
not reach high and satisfactory con-
| dition until some time after the young
pilot has been standing his own watch"
alone and under the staggering weight
of all the responsibilities connected
with the position, When an appren-
tice has become pretty thoroughly ac-
quainted with the river, he goes clat-
ter1ng along so fearlessly with his
steamboat, night or day, that he pres
emily begins to imagine that it is his
courage that animates him; but the
first time the pilot steps out and leaves
him to his own devices, hefnds out it was
the other mans. He discovers that the
article has been left out of his own car
go altogether. The whole river is
bristling with exigencies in moment;
he is not prepared for them; he does
mr. ~ 70 oil 10
knowledge forsakes him; and within
and scared almost to death. Therefore,
Gus strategic tricks to look danger in the
face little more calmly. A favorite
way of theirs is to play friendly swim
die upon the candidate.
MIR. B. served me in this fashion once,
and for years afterward [ used to blush
even in my sleep when I thought of it.
had become a good steersman so
good, indeed, that had all the work to
do on our watch, night and day. Mr..
B. seldom made suggestion to me
all he ever did was to take the wheel
on particularly bad nights or in par
ticularly bad crossings, land the boat
when she needed to be landed, play
gentleman of leisure nine-tenths of the
watch, and collect the wages. The
lower river was about bank-full, and if
anybody had questioned my ability to
run any crossing between Cairo and
New Orleans without help or instruc-
ton, 1 should have felt irreparably
hurt. The idea of being afraid of any
crossing in the lot, in the daytime, was
a thing too preposterous for contem-
plation. Well, one matchless summers
day was bowling down the bend above
island sc, brim full of self cOnceit and
carrying my nose as high as a giraffe's,
when Mr.. B. said:
81 am going below awhile. [ sup
pose you know the next crossing ?"
This was almost an affront. It was
about the plainest and simplest crossing
in the whole river. One wouldn't come
to any harm, whether he ran it right or
not and as for depth, there never had
been any bottom there. I knew all
this, perfectly well.
"Know how to run it? Why, [ can
run it with my eyes shut"
Glow much water is there in it ?"
''Well, that is an odd question. I
couldn't get bottom there with church
steeple."
"You think so, do you ?"
The very tone of the question shook
nv confidence. That was what Mr.. B.
was expecting. He left without saying
anything more. l began to imagine all
sorts of things. Mr.. B., unknown to
me, of course, sent somebody down to
the forecastle with some mysterious
instructions to the leadsmen, another
messenger was sent to whisper among
the officers, and then Mr.. B. went into
hiding behind q smokestack where he
could observe results. Presently the
captain stepped out on the hurricane
deck next the chief mate appeared
then a clerk. Every moment or two
straggler was added to my audience
and before [ got to the head of the
island had fifteen or twenty people
assembled down there under my nose.
[ began to wonder what the trouble was.
As | started across, the captain glanced
aloft at me and said, with sham I'M
easiness in his voice:
"Where is Mr.. B p
"Gone below, sir.
But that did the business for me.
My imagination began to construct
dangers out of nothing, and they multi
piled faster than | could keep the run
of them. All at once I imagined | saw
shoal water ahead The wave of COW
ard agony that surged through me then
came near dislocating every joint in me.
All nv confidence in that crossing van
ished. I seized the bell-rope dropped
it. ashamed; seized it again dropped
it once more clutched 1t trembllngly
once again, and pulled it so feebly that
1 could hardly hear the stroke myself.
Captain and mate sang out instantly.
and both together "Starboard lead
there and quick about it y
This was another shock. I began to
climb the wheel like squirrel but 1
would hardly get the boat started to
port before would see new dangers on
that side, and away. would spin to the
other, only to find perils accommodating
to starboard, and be crazy to get to
port again. Then came the leadman's
sepulchral cry:
deep four -
Deep four in bottomless crossing
The terror of it took my breath away.
MARK three Mark three
Quarter less three Half twain !"
This was frightful! seized the bell
ropes and stopped the engines.
"Quarter twain Quarter twain
Mark twain y
I was helpless. did not know what
in the world to do. was quaking from
head to foot, and [ could have hung my
cap on my eyes, they stuck out so far.
"Quarter less twain Nine and a
half p
We were drawing nine My hands
were in a nerveless futter. could not |
ring bell intelligibly with them. |
few to the speaking:ube and shouted |
to the engineer
ooh, Ben, if you love me, back her
Quick, Ben Oh, back the immortal
soul out of her T.
heard the door close gently. I look
ed around, and there stood Mr.. B.
smiling a bland, sweet smile. Then the
audience on the hurricane deck sent up /
a shout of humiliating laughter. saw
it all, now, and felt meaner than the
man in human history. laid
in the lead, set the boat IN her marks,
came ahead on the engines, and said: