The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1875-07-31
LAUGHING GAS.

Wales chad lost her hearing" was
oply Cockrey pervcrsion. She lost
az earring. ..........
An Iowa editor recently announced
that certain patron Of his was "thiev-
ing as usual" It was written thriv-
ing.
EDO you like Goldfish balls, Mr..
Wiggins?" Mr.. Virgins, hesitat-
ingly-" | really don't know; | don't
recollect attending one"
"This hot weather is good for Nix
remarked a f;lcetious young man yes
terday in a horse car" eyes, for
pic-nix," replied his companion.
A young lady in Alabama said she
guessed she knew how to shoot pis-
toll. The doctor who dug the bullet
out Of her brothers leg said he guessed
so too.
81 think l have seen you before,
sir. Are you not Owen Smith :" Oh
yes, Pm OWN Smith, and OWN Jones,
and OWN Brown, and OWN every
body"
A philosopher asserts that the rea-
son why ladies' teeth decay sooner
than gentlemen's is because of the
friction of the tongue and the sweet
ness Of the lips.
What is the difference between
spermaceti and a schoolboy's howl :?
One is the wax produced by the whale
| and the other IS the wall produced by
the whacks.
"Now, then, children" said par
ish schoolmistress showing her chill
dren off on examination day Who
loves all men 2" "You, missus,"
was the unexpected reply.
| Says a Frenchman who has lived
in America for some years: :" When
they build railroad, the first thing
they do is to break ground. This is
done with great ceremony. Then
they break the stockholders. This is
done without ceremony"
On Monday evening his wife asked
him where he was going, as she Oh
served him putting on his overcoat.
I" am going to sally FORTH" he re-
piled; and she warmly rejoined !:
"Let me catch you going with any
Sally FORTH
Mark Twain, appropos of new
portable mosquito net, writes that the
day is coming when we shall sit
under our nets in church and slumber
peacefully, while the discounted flies
club togo ther and take it out OF the
miniHter."
DR.. johnson once dined with a
Scottish lady who had hotch- pot6h
for dinner. After the doctor had
tasted it she asked him if it was good.
1t is good for hogs, ma'am," said
the doctor. "Then pray said the
lady, let me help you to some more"
Copy was out. The devil picked
mp paper and said, "Here's some
thing About a woman must l cut
it QUIT" "No!" Numbered the ed
itor; the first disturbance ever created
in the world was occasioncd by the
devil fooling about a woman"
A teacher il the Port Jervis public
schools was last week explaining to
the children that usually all words
ending with "let' meant something
small, as streamlet, rivulet, hamlet,
etc. Whereupon a smart boy asked
if hamlet meant a small ham.
A man who cheats in short measure
is measureless rogue. If in wlislley,
then he is a rogue in spirit. If by fal
SifyinU his accOlIntS then he Is an mn :
accountable rogue. Ii he gives IL bad
title to land, then he is a rogue in
deed. If he gives short measure in
wheat, then he is rogue III grain.
Don Piatt's house in Washington
took fire one Sunday morning. He
superintended in person, the moving
out of his parlor furniture. The men
carried piano down the front steps
and placed it on the sidewalk. Here,
boys" said Don, "don't leave that
there, or the firemen will play on it,
A down town resident wants part
ner in the pie plant business. 1t takes
four pounds of sugar to one pound OF
pie plant. He wants the partner tt
furnish the sugar, he being willing to
furnish the plant and divide the pro.
cecds half and half. A fine opportu-
nifty for poor man who can't afford
TO have pies Oh Sunday, to get them
cheap.
Politics is scarcely ever mentioned
these days. Abnse Of Gov. Kellogg
| Il