davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09
PLEISINTRIES

The leader of a country band in Hill
nois is a Mr.. Beef. He plays the
cOrn-et.
UNNAMED by the loss of her hus-
band" is the latest style of indicating q
widows grief.
SAID Pat: "Faix, where wud We find
a modern house that has lashted as long
as the ancient 2"
4 YOUNG dressnaker speaks of her
cross-eyed lover Us "the young gent
whose looks are cut bias"
A PENNSYLVANIA man and wife lived
two weeks on bread and whisky. She
ate the bread and he drank the whisky.
A MOTHER asked her little daughter to
do something, and the daughters reply
was "a general tiredness pervades
me-"
EVERY convict now discharged from
the Nevada State Prison receives twenty
five dollars in gold TO Start u new life
with.
ROBERT CoLLYER says: "There is no
p~rofane music; il is all sacred And
the howliest of the howly is the nightly
serenade Of enamorated cats.
"WHY did you pass yesterday without
looking ut me-" said a beautiful N
to Talleyrand. Because, madam, If L
had looked | could not have passed"
THE Boston SttpdGy fourier says :
THE tenor and soprano in a South End
| choir are to be married soon. They met
by chants, the usual way" Perhaps If
they were to in-choir of some married
man they might not duet.-Bo&tdn But
lCtin.
"WHAr are you afraid of, Sue:" asked
Il bov of his sister, adding, I'm never
afraid, you know" ooh, WELL" an
swered Sue, "but you've got a Roman
nose, and our reading book, you know,
Saws: A Roman knOtCS no danger!
4 DISTINGUISHED English parsonage
once remarked to T~alleyrand, SIN the
upper chamber, at least, are to be found
men possessed Of a conscience "Con-
SCIENCE" replied Talleyrand, "to be
sure: l know many a peer who has got
two"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09
tn UPPER TEN TIL TS.1ND.

The correctness of the phrase "the
upper ten thousand" is %curiously Illus
trated by book recently published IN
London under that title. 1t contains an
alphabetical. list of all members of noble
families, superior officers of all the army
and navy, bishops, privy councillors,
Judges, baronets, members of the House
of Commons, lords-lieutenant, governors
of colonies, knights and companions Of
orders, deans and archdeacons-in fact,
all persons who have any definite posi-
ton arising either from hereditary rank,
titles conferred by the Queen, or high
grade of service in the State !; and the
number of these people is found to be
almost exactly ten thousand.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09
TrNIIGf' f'0SfimCS.

NOVEL EXPERIMENT i a piece Of
pastnboard with one small hole III it he
placed before three lighted candles,
three distinct bright spots will be thrown
on a sheet of paper PLACED behind, show
ing that the rays of light DO not inter
cept one another in passing through the
hole.
WORDS HAPHAzARD.-Obtain a boXful
of alphabetical letters-let there be eight
or ten Of each, if possible-and distribute
them unfortunately to such members
of the party as may wish to JOIN III the
game. With these letters each individual
is bound to form a word, or series OF
words. When each person has con
structed what words he cal with his
share of letters, the words are read aloud
in succession. As a result, some anus
ing combinations will be revealed.
IMPENETRABILTTY APPARENTLY DE
srRoYED. -Impenetrability is a term
used to express the fact that it IS impos-
sible for two bodies to occupy the same
space at the same time. Take a wine
glass and fill it as full of water as POSI-
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09
.NOTH EE INJURIES HiNDINESS.

In our Southern States it l. customary
to plant sunfowers to keep off the ague.
That plant absorbs the malaria, and so
protects those neal it from the local
malady. The malaria of the Roman
marshes is about to find Il similarly easy
cOunterbalance. An organized attempt
has lately been made to thus 10 1t by
means of Mother Nature herself. \
number of monks, from q monastery
situated in the Roman Campagna, have
been busy planting in IN" marshes the
Eucalyptus, or Australian gum tree.
Unlike the poison-"mitting Upas tree of
Java, the Eucalyptus absorhs the foul
gases from the air around, rendering the
atmosphere pure and non-injurious To
health. This experiment of the Roman
monks is one that is well worth watching
with interest, as if the present attempt
proves successful, further operations on a
larger scale may perhaps rid the Cam
pagna of the terrible scourge to which il
has been so long subject :; and, further
more, experience will have been gained
which will without doubt be turned tC
account in other unhealty regions.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09
MN 4 Spell LING SCHGOL.

The spelling school fever affected
some of the gamins yesterday. They
talked it up around the Postotfice, and
a dozen or more adjourned to an alley
and stood in a row while II of their
number pronounced words "out OF his
head" "Dog," %"cat," "boot," elem
on" and some other words had been got
along with, when the word "morocco
came into the teachers mind. The first
boy spelled it "m~ore-rock-o,' and all
the rest followed, and when the teacher
filed his demurrer they ran him over a
pile of barrels and hit him with frozen
potatoes, thus interrupting the harmony
and breaking up the school. One of the
boys wa heard saying:
"What's spellin' good for, anyhow,
unless q Teller wants to write poetry9'-
Free Press.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09

THE difference between the may
be stated thus: GA man gives forty
cents for II twenty-five cent thing he
wants, and a woman gives twenty-five
cents for a fortv-cent thing she does not
want"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09
D:ggf.,1"IIcS ard "Gr0ndnH@=c1'."

1'F5'"''" ''t
D~igglTbones stood looking out of the
window with Il shockingly dirty face, and
a very iIl-Gatured face, too. 1t wasn't
often ill-natured-that round little Wis
age-so that grandmother-dear, gentle
soul-looked at him through her old
steel-bowed spnctacles with considerable
uneasiness.
"Precious," she said-everybody
called MIN Digglybonas but grand
mother. and she called him sPrecious,"
"Sweet," and "Darling," and all sorts
Of loving names, which D~igglybones en-
dured without a word, although in his
secret heart he did not at all approve OF
them.
"Prec;ous," said grandmother, "what
is tho matter"
Digglybones drummed on the window
pane and said nothing whatever in re-
ply.
Grandmother waited a few moments,
then repeated her question softly; and
again Digglybones drummed on the glass
with his little bits of white fingers, and
scowlei out into the rain. "Isaiah -
Just think OF D~igglybones' name being
Isaiah gentle grandmother's voice had
a ring in it that warned the little boy not
to be naughty too long, so he turned
around and said sulkily:
Mamma won't let me 60 into John
MES, or anywhere"
Why" said grandmother, "don't
Won SEQ that it rains, child!'
Yes" he replied, "but Use awful
tired, and wants to go somewhere or do
s~ometng."
Where is Nip?"
"Eip's all muddy he can go ont in
the ra:n."
Where is your ark :"
"They've mostly all got their legs off,
and won't stand up"
"Whnre is vour nice tin cart?'
Who wants to play with a tin cart
MI The tima?" answered Digglybones,
d~iscontenedly, and not too politely.
WELL" said grandmother then, quite
discouraged. I'm afraid the little man
feels very cross, and will have to get
over it."
SO she left him to himself, which was,
perhaps, the very best thing that could
be done: but, after n while, seeing that
nobody noticed him, he came up to
grandmother and began to be sociable.
He smoothed her wrinklad cheek with
his soft hand and said, IN a wheedlinq
tone
DO You love me, grandmuzzer?"
Receiving a satisfactory reply, he wen
on
what makes your cheek all musset
up?"
THAT'S because I'm so old, dear"
Was you ever as small as l ann"
ooh, yes !" with a little bit of
laugh.
"Can YOU member"
eyes, some things"
Tel me bout 'em, grandmother"
Is Ia sorry for being naughty"
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09

Those who have the spellipg-match
fever sufficiently developed to cOntem-
plate a Websterian tussle, are advised to
consider carefully the following rules.
They are warranted as being the unadul-
terated article in use III the Old-time cOun-
try matches, and as such are highly re-
commended
Bows must not wipe their noses on
their coat sleeves.
Girls not allowed to chew gum or mas
ticate slate-pencils III school.
No kissing in playtime, unless by NIL
tual consent.
VIXEN the pupils want to go out, they
must first obtain permission of the
teacher.
Only one pupil allowed to go out at a
time except in cases OF extreme emer
gency.
Any pupil staying out overt ten minutes
except in cherry time-will be fined a
black mark.
Any boy placing a crooked pin on the
teachers chair, to jog his memory, or for
any other purpose, will be severely
flogged.
All apples, peanuts, tilberts, molasses
candy, or other sweet things found III
the pockets of the pupils will be contis-
Gated for the use of the teachers chill
dren.
Boys that whistle on purpose, and say
they couldn't help it," will be punished
by being compelled to sit for half an
between two of the big girls.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09
OUR JUVENILES.
.TdbrE'S PerpiCrity.

One day last summer, grandma dear,
When l was with Il Sue,
She asked me-dont you think twas queer
What l liked best to do.
Because. you know, 1 couldn't tell,
There are SO many ways
For any little girl that's well
To spend the long bright days.
I've tried real hard to think it ont,
And even talked with Dick,
But boys AM help a girl in doubt,
They settle things 80 quick.
He said he thought / liked to coast.
In hood and mittrns new.
But just the time 1 like it most,
He's sure 70 he :. all through
Hike 10 dance-ts real good fun :
And wear my pretty shoes.
But then Ia rather jump and rlIn,
As can At Aunt Sues.
like to climb the cherry trees,
If dresses wouldn't tear;
Oh, dear. | think it's such i tease
To always have 10 care
About :!ls way you look. Dick says
He won't Ike such i goose;
But then hi7 clothes are made il ways
50 d:tferout-stcut and loose.
like uy dolls, and they like best
To 90 out on The street,
With hts and walking jackets Creased.
AMI boots and stockings neat.
like II read 4 story book,
Cl-l.i Up in papa's chair
All ont Of sight, and have them look
For me most everywhere.
l dearly ike to keep the head
OF that long spelling class;
l trGnbln Every day with dread,
For :aar my word viii pass.
Ia ike - much 20 win a prize
wish 7 eyer could,
Ike to help sane make the pies
Sha lets NJ" when I'm good.
! Ike % E:as you. grandma dear;
Fou'C" nice as YOU can be
ToleoT" yuT: work so long TO hear
4 chatter-hoX like me-.
This -,n't half ! ike TO 90
i can't tell all the rest
Bat. grandma. should You s'po-e I knew
Wh!,a thing l like the best"
GaiDji.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09


Al, III n0 ioplo"' m
P 01 In.7
iie" , =.
'no -
,
~
~ guess L VIII TEL 70" "'ou' 'H'
goose SilH sad
les 90. rePlle" It,
"heh L was ABOUT rs oiS 10 H'" my
mother dressed me up one me Gay anu
tol" INC 10 'dhe lily Two h'ii '', ~
me .''lo anu g over Tue ''i'ii'i''' - IL
"'i'''
Take good care OF your SlSters'
said nv mother "vou are the Oldest,
Won know"
q took n by each hand, and said
'Yes'm' to mother, and Come along,
and don't tag y to them"
"What was their names :" asked Dig
glybones.
..One was Martha and the other was
Ellen" re,Iied grandmother. who never
objected TO Interruptions and We"
Well how old was y0u grandmother.
ond What WAS ,no,y. name?"
WHY dear. I was about as big as Won
.re now and nv name was the same as it
&c now-thot is. nv first name.
We'll wa cot along very we'll until
ve wore unite ont of sioht of the house
and we'll on 70 tbe common, when | let
60 of NY sisters hands and began to
nick tbew wild flowers which crew around
There very nlantifullv. Nv little sisters
hncan I, nick flowers, too. and before [
knew il tEey were cutie a distance away.
"As soon as noticed it I began to
call to them to como over to whore ! was,
but they were SO pleased and so busy
that they did not hear me.
There was a flock of geese feeding
near me, and they heard III" and evident
" did not like it. The old white ganl"r
tapped his wings and rltlied his ieath-
ers and made, what | considered, an
extremely disagre"able and dangerous
noise.
q had a good deal of confidence
in my heels, and always believed III
running away when there WIS any
danger, SO [ only stopped to take
a second look at the gander before away
| ran.
This made him more angry, and,
having Il great deal OF confidence in his
speed, he tapped his great wings,
screamed and Missed, and started after
me at full speed. was counted q good
runner among my playfcllows, hut | was
10 match for the gander. He soon
caught up to me and knocked me over,
he mad" a great deal of noise and fright
ened me nearly to death, but did not
really hurt me. Ny two little sisters
hearing me- scream concluded that | was
killed, and started for home, tumhlin9
over ut nearly every step, losing then
hats and spelling their clothes. I often
heard mother say that they never
looked worse than when they showed
their scared, dusty, and tear-stained faces
1T tlit hittlleH tooI li'"' gay
"They could not tell what kLnd OF al
animal It was which had killed ne, On
mother concluded that 1t must be Il Dilll
She met me slowly coming up the oad
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09

THERE are 600, 900 common drunkards
in the United States OF the 10000 idiots
in this country three-fourths are the
children of drunken parents. Ninety
nine hundredths of the criminals and
paupers were found to be Incorporate.
The liquor annually sold amounts to
$3.50, 900, 900.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09
ACROSTIC.

Stern and silent Time appears.
Pressing onward day by day,
Rolling up its scroll of years;
In its own unchanging way,
Nature, free from icy arms.
Gives again its yernal charms.
The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876, 1875-04-09


bic without spilling, and then, being
provided with an ounce or so OF ordl-
nary pins, drop them in a few at a time =;
it will be found that they occupy but lit
tie space, and do not cause the water to
overflow. This will appear the more
wonderful, as they seem to take up so
much room in the glass, which in reality
they do not for an ounce weight is a
very small thing in the bottom of a wine
glass, but drawn into wire and cut into
pins, it looks bulky, although no more
capable of taking up room than III the
solid form.
BLOWING CorroN.-This is sitting
room game of the pleasantest sort. Let
as many as may be sit around the table,
with hands folded and arms extended
along the edge of the table, each person
touching elbows with his neighbor on
each side of him. Take a small piece of
common cotton wool picked so as to be
made as light and airy as possible. Put
this in the center of the table. Let some
one count lone, two, three" and then
let each one blow his best to keep the
cotton way from himself and drive it
upon some one else. The person on
whom it alights must pay a forfeit. No
one must take up his arms to escape the
cotton. When it alights, take it up and
start anew. 1t will bea very sober set
indeed who can play two or three rounds
without indulging in the healthiest sort
of uproarious laughter.
Curious EXPERI&ENT.-Iake Il piece
Dastaboard about five inches square,
roll it into a tube with Il end
inst large enough to fit round
the eve. and the other end rather
smaller. Hold the tube between the
thumb aud finger OF the right hand do
not grasp it with the whole hand) +; put
the large end close against the right eye,
and with the left had hold a book
against the side of the tube. Be sure
and keep both eyes open, and there will
appear to be Il hole through the book,
and objects . as if through the hole,
instead OF through the tube. The right
eve sees through the tube, and the left
eve sees the book, and the two appear
ances are so ~confounded that they can
not be separated. The left hand can be
held against the tube instead of the
book. and the whole will seem to be seen
through the hand.
"F1GUREs THAT LIE. "-Thcre is ten
dencY IN the eye to enlarge the upper
portion of any object on which it looks
Il fact which We find admirably illustrated
BY a row OF ordinary capital letters ano
figures
They are such as are made up OF two part
Of equal shapes. Look carefully q
these, and you will perceive that the
upper halves of the characters are
little smaller than the lower halves,
little that an ordinary eye will perhaps de
clare them to be Of equal size. Nov
turn the page upside down, and, withou
any careful looking, you will see that TIM
difference in size is very much exagger
ated that the real top part Of the let
ter is verymuch smaller than the bottom
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1875-03-10
SeIettc0 91listeIIuln:


mourning TOR the Emperor OF CHINA.
The Emperor of China being dead, says
the London Weekly Dispatch, all his
subjects, according to their rank, win be
required to morun his deccase On the
proclamation oftho Governor Of the Pro
vince, the Mandarins under him not only
put on mourning, but paint out the decora-
tons on their house walls and wrap their
sedan chairs in black cloth. The common
people have to shave their heads, and al
so perform certain ceremonies prescribed
especially for them; but as for the Mau1
darins and local gentry, on a second
proclamation from the Governor of the
Province they meet together on certain
appointed days, ina particular temple,
to lift up their lamentations for the
departed monarch whom most of these
mourners never once beheld The mode
of their proceeding is in this wise: The
Mandarins, gentry and others, entitled
to rake part in the ceremonial, having
clustered inside the temple. slowly and
silently take up each one the position
prescribed for him, according to his rank,
on raised platform previously prepared
This done a professor ofceremony appears
upon the scene. Everything being
ready, the professor, amid profound
silence, calls out in a commanding tone.
kneel dawn' Immediately one hun
dred individuals. more or less, being the
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1875-03-10
9 scIctt Storg.
My ard.

,o- c,,I,. 4,,.,,t,- tf r,, ,,,o,., ,f ..o
- rh,.o,,.., H.. ;,,,,,..,',. ,,,..,,,.,,,,
,,,.,.a;n, oe .h.,,,,,..i o,,d f,.t,,na ,f
NJ - ,,1 1.;r t,, !,
ha.,r,naa.
Goo,oo T ,.,,.o .,.s.,,,.,s =,
C.l,s.a al ..a.,, W.. .uI,. .Ias. H.,
,,,,,,,',,,,.,. n,,l f.;.,,as w., r.,,,.,. ,.,u
- A., ;,,..,..,,l,, n,,..,onaa5 p...r,;..
ND n,,,,,a.pns ;,,,.,. ,ra,,, ro,,.,J 80 ooI-
laa. ,hnnt o,,r f.;onl.lin rot i .t,ol
-, g l;,.al
4ho r;l;.n,a IS ,u. e.,,n. a,,l..,;.,rs on1
wo Ioe 1n,o Me-, Am t.,o fr;an3s
ia NJ s,,lo,1;I e.,Ior ,,,.n Il Io,o
ia ho ,,.o,,5 - All f.iand W. 81,
III i H. a..,,, M. ,l,..;.;.n
and l,,,,o, IA am intoroo,,,sa
III. .1,,..,.s ,lo.s.,. d. a,,., T. o,,,,,.,,
,nd soio ,,,ardion of ana rt,lo s;sta,.
eeoon ,.oors ,.o,,r ,,o, tbor ,,,,..olf Tbaro
NOV, ~ ,.,,or .,,a,;,,s "a ,roon ,lo I,ro
thoso t,ro f,lt ono Co.. tho o,bor o,,.,,.
from tbom Tbair f,tbcr an Englisb
man b.5 broncbt l,is wifi. from the ..old
oonntrr s. ond ,yb,r tbe.o t,ro 5;oJ ti,e
osildrcn stood olone Mr. Loo was NOT
wealthy but he lec, y small sum the in
terost of Which was onourb far tho
children to live unon with oconomv As
soon as GEORGE was f,irIy started in the
nr.ct;ce Of ,nodicino Ia sot,lod tho sur
mon his sister
When v,y l,n4 t,ront,.-t -tbroo cooraa
Two voor. o,der NV friend bocomo j
victim Of our counirv's scourrc con-
sumntion. In bis illness he innlored
mo 70 ,ccont tbe ori.e Of ,,n,r,lion 70 b;s
little sister She was tlon not q bo,r,linc
school and George orguod would nrobo-
Mv remain there nnt;l was married and
sottled or if desired If until slo was
If ace and ablo to t,lo care Of herself
and her pronertv Glad to relieve INV
friend of any sad anxiety. 7 undertook
the cbarce and was Icr,llv entrusted
with fun nowor IN grard Miss F,nnio
Tooan5 la. no,,or e,r tbo olo,on ,o,r.
Georre died. Il was a sore blow to
me. vet tbe certainty tbat his noble self
sacrificing spirit was bappy after many
trials in dis rouob world was consola-
tiop. and IN time. other interests and sf-
fections came to comfort me-
Seven years passed away. Twas still a
bachelor. but keenina house. with Mrs.
Dodd for the presiding genius of my es-
tabIishment. Mrs. Dodd was a meIan-
choly woman. constantly wiping tears
from her very pale blue eyes with the
corner of her apron. referring with a
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1875-03-10


0ooAs' everything IN the most dlfeiul
confusion ! was standing ruetully con-
tenplating the scene when l heard a
|ell-SnoSn shuttle at my elbow
= am sorry 1lr Holmes sald Mrs
Dodd' that we couldn't do the office
but 1t was locked and we couldn't find
the key And at the same instant !
fe-t key slipped into my hand.
Mentally promising Mrs Dodd an
extra ' with her month s wages. | said;
on I've got the Key Aunt Jane l
expect Miss Lee at midnight; its now
live O'Clock. May ask how | am to
receive her IN tins mess
ON It Will be dene by that time ~
we did not take up the carpets only
covered theln' and we viii soon get
through,
l went to the o.hee Dodd ! Dodd .
lneompara6le Dodd \ lire was burn
ing brightly IN the open CRATE cold
collation. was spread upon one Of the
tables and not book was out Of place,
was scarcely seated when my uelan-
ehoiy hoasekeeper entered with hot coffee
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1875-03-10

''.,-l1e,-
in the various branches taught at that
institute, and then another twelve montl 5
vould roll by before the intercourse was
renewed ! had come, under this state
Of things, to look upon my ward as a
very well behaved young lady-thorough-
yeonversant with the English branches
music and the modern languages, p
who would in the course Of time leave
school, claim the capital Of her property,
and probably marry some respectable
man and live in peace. leaving me in the
same enyiable state. Fancy then the
effect produced upon my mind by the
following epistlc, which lay upon my
desk one morning in january;
BRooKDALg, Jan. 10, IS.
Dear Gaa,dian The half yearly
session oi our school closes on saturday
between my o,,rlol,.s III borr;Ll,- ,;rod ''''i nr
school. and 50 I am coming to live with
you, That's what all young ladies DO
VINO nave guard ans am = l know
i. and ! viII ba @ yitb yon on yIon5ay Ips
evening or Tuesday. / can't saw exactly
which, because my new bonnet may not
come home saturday IN which case |
V@n5sr % 9"' "",'L t ,to I ''Y'uUUi' n5 bo Doa' OIL
are in a fourisbinr State of health I
have no doubt you are a dear, clever old
soul who viii net snub me as they do
snre ' .lii o "" a,, a'g g'u Ill., Eoi io u,s @ ao
You need not answer this. because |
shall leave here before your answer can
reach me- Come or send to the boat to
D''' '''S won 70" 0qt, T,I[5r rSTPeIuui'y' Irr
,r.s..r....i,. .,.,.,I,.,t..,,l- Ca,.
ior = 49,, IA .,,, :
looi.oa A., ,.l..s. an
a,aot e..,,,, CO.. .,;.1. a:.
s,n,,,,as, h.',,,srt ,a.... l1.,.g
n,a,,st.,.la III nh. - I.II t;,,
ea..,, i,..l. a,I FL.
Tbon T ..I,noo1 .r,naJ 49,, ro,,
ogao ~. n., c. l
,..n+ ~ ha.f.I,. ,,., la,,,. -, -
! AN-N' A'NfAA WV '''s- ~ '''''N