Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1875-03-25
SunbeamS.

hinge? Because she is something 20 a.
dore.
The man with DO coat to his stomach
is poorer than he who has 10 coat to
his back.
\ Cincinnati pork-dealcr proposes to
furnish the world with his ought. to-
bny-hog rapby.
\ crusty bachelor explains that the
reason woman puts finger in her
mouth when she thinks, is because she
cannot talk and think too.
\ French writer says not an Ameri-
can in ten has handsome chin. But,
in nine cases out Of ten. what lie lacks
in chin is made up in cheek.
A missing man was lately advertised
for, and described as having a Roman
nose. He won't be found Such
nose as that will never turn up.
\ slate pencil was extracted from an
indianapolis lawyers ear recently, after
having nestled there for seventeen
years. The slate was not found.
Mr.. Mutton, who was put off from a
passenger train at Omaha, and sued the
company for damages, threatens to
lamb some editors if they dent stop
joking about him.
An exchange says, "on oar outside
may be found an article worthy of at
tention," etc. That's sly way the
editor has Of getting people to notice
his new government overcoat
The following ballots were taken up
in u jury room in Elizabeth, N j ,
after recent trial: not silty; l not
guilty.; 3 nat giltey not guilty ;
5 g'lty; 6 nu, gilte; Z mort gutter.
An elephant is ,277. 1856 tines larg.
or than flea; but yet there are wo.
men who growl at paying two shiliDgs
to visit a managerie, and will turn. a
teather-bed over half day to hunt a
flea.
The private secretary Of jeff Davis
during the war, and Major Quincy
keeper of Libby prison, both have
lucrative positions under the Democrat
ic government Of New York.
One Of the wealthiest citizens of
Mount Vernon, o.. was murdered in
lis store, on Friday night of last week
by robbers. The murder -occasioned
great excitement, and large reward is
offered for the arrest Ct the murder
CTS.
A woman living at Kearney, juno
ton, Neb., lately attem pied to pois' q
her step-danshtcr, age I'd five years, and
falling in her attempt, she murdered
the child by kicking her, knocking her
down, and jumping upon her.
1t is high, solemn. almost awfu
thought for every individual, that his
earthly influence, which has had com
mencement here, will never, through
all ages, were he the very meanest- Of
us all, have an cnd.-Cartyle.
A stingy husband accounted for al
the blame Of the lawlessness Of hi!
children in company by saying his wife
always gave them their OVID way
Poor things that's ii l have toagiv'
them" was the prompt reply.
"She is q perfect Amazon" said !
pupil in one OF our schools of his teach
er yesterday, to companion. "Yes,
said the other, who was better verse;
in geography than history, Il noticed
she had 90 awful big mouth"
It is reported that somewhat juve
nile dandy said to fair partner at 1
bali: "Miss, don't you think u,
n,oustaches are becoming ?" to whicl
Miss replied well, sir, they may b
coming, bu, they haven't arrived
,ct." .. J.. Il
"Biddy,' said lady, "step over ant
see bow old Nrs, Jones is this mnrn
ing" In II few minutes Biddy re
turned wlthS.he information that Mrs
jones was seven.y-tMo years, seve,
months anaiwo days old that morn
lug.