St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1875-12-31
Squibs.

y" Chinese bank has failed for five
hundred Nrai>. When the last failure
took place he officers heads were cut
oil and flung into a cornor with the
other assets.
That mu"h-talked-of telescope. il is
said. has really brought the moon with
III ten miles of the earth. One or two
,uIn> more at the screw may brm" the
whole thing down on lis.
The efficiency of the courts is serving
Ia check somewhat the stringemcy of
the times. More poor men are being
hanged this season than ever before
1t is said that some people have what
Is called ''>pnutaneity." and some
haven't: hut nobody ever sat down on
PIncnShion Yet without mantesting
something surprisingly like it.
Mr.. Victory has suddenly disappeared
tt"m PIttStown, leaving Il flmily be-
hind. If the detectives manage to
"Ncrtakc him. it will be- about the first
Victory they've had this ycar-N. y.
Commercial Idrertiser
This is the kind of weather that
makes the dasiIing Young man wish
that instead of spending Il dollar and
half tor that massive diamond pin last
summer. he had judiciously invested it
i'll Il pair of winter drawers.
Cats. foxes, and weaSrls have ALWAYS
enjoyed the reputation of being re-
mhIkahIl sly. and they no doubt de
Scrv" II but nothing can surpaSs the
>lHncSS with which Il women. surprised
10y Hn unexpected caller, will slip Il set
of false teeth into her mouth.
Brighton lady. riding on the cars
the other day, w;s amused 10y the ques-
tinn of Il little girl. who. hearing the
conductor cry the stations. looked up
int" her mothers face. and innocently
asked SAY. mauna, do we get out
at the next hoHcr?"
''What can you say of the second law
of thought ," student 1t cannot both
he and not he. For example, the door
over there must either be shut or
open. cant lie both shut and open"
lutor- Give another illustration"
Student I'VE take the case of all
other door.
1t took SiI Isaac Newton less than
three Years t" thoroughly digest the
principles of gravitation. while an In
dlima farmer has spent eleven Years
trying T." find ont why COW never
kicks until the pail is two-tIIil,Is full.
\ daIkcy VIII" WIS stopping to wash
his hands in a creek. didn't notice the
pccnIar actions of u goat just behind
him, 50 when he scrambled ont of the
water ana VIZ, asked how it happened.
he answered: Il dunno 'znctly; but
'prared a> cf de shore kinder h'i,ted
and froWcd me-"
There is Il rumpostnr "n this paper
who inNariIhlN spells Jerusalem with a
u. ami all the angels iii heaven couldn't
convince him that there i such Il letter
~ j. His pluIsantrirs will he rccogniZ-
ed and We trust properly credited we
have been responsible for them long
enough. - dorchester Dcmocrat
The other day, when IL Detroit woman
asked her husband To bring home Il bar
"f soap ~ he came home 10 dinner. h.
exclaimed. ''What, i that bar gone 50
qulct > ''lr'S all gone. she replied,
but | WAS Is saving as could lie.
haven't washed the children for five
days past, 80 IL to make it last the
week uut -
One "i Mark Twain'> funny stories is
that ei Il Scripture panorama. the pIn-
plIctor "f which engaged Il pianist to
play appropriate music. The musician,
When the picture OF the ''Pindigal SON
Na, passing. struck up Nv hen JOHNNY
comes marching home =" which excited
the Indignation of the moral lecturer.
People up town have been cunsidcra-
bly, disturbed recently by the appear
;tm"c "t :; couple of men. one of whom
grlnhS ont aiiilction from Il hand organ.
while the other goes around the back
way and tiles the hi chen windows and
the side doors. People living in scclud-
ed spots are learning to play the ac-
Gordon as Il means of defence
'Brnjamn.' shouted Mrs. Toodles to
her husband who was going out Of the
gate, bring me up live cents worth of
Snuif when You come" snuff Mrs
ToodlcS, snuff ," he calculated, as he
paused with his hand on the latch 'No,
NO. Mrs. I"udleS, the times are too hard
To admit nf such extravaganza YOU
must tickle your nose with IA straw
when you want to sueeK."